The Edmonton Conference on Behavioural, Developmental & Emotional Challenges
W h O S h OULD ATTEND
Education & Clinical Professionals: All education and mental health or healthcare professionals who work with children or youth including, but not limited to K–12 Classroom Teachers, School Counsellors, Learning Assistance/Resource Teachers, School Administrators, School Paraprofessionals including Special Education Assistants, Classroom Assistants and Childcare Workers.
All other professionals who support behavioural challenges and complex learning needs including but not limited to: Nurses, Social Workers, Psychologists, Clinical Counsellors, Family Therapists, Occupational Therapists, Speech Language Pathologists, Addiction Counsellors, Youth Workers, Mental Health Workers, Probation Officers and Community Police Officers.
L IVE I N -P ERSON
• Complimentary tea, coffee and assorted pastries
• On-site exhibitors
Please note, in-person registration does not include access to the live stream or recorded footage.
L IVE S TREAM FROM hOME
This conference will be live streaming from Edmonton, AB to online participants on Deecmber 2–4, 2024 from 8:30am – 4:00pm MT
Recorded footage and all course content will be available until January 5, 2025. Please allow 3–5 business days after the conference has ended for recorded footage to become available.
Behavioural, Developmental & Emotional Challenges with Children & Adolescents
December 2–4, 2024
Monday to Wednesday 8:30am to 4:00pm
ü Working with Violent and Aggressive Children & Youth
ü Strengthen Executive Function with 20 Brain Coaching & Cognitive-Motor Activities to Improve Self-Regulation, Attention, Memory and Response Inhibition in Children and Adolescents
ü Art Therapy: Creative Interventions for Kids with Trauma, Anxiety, ADHD and More!
ü Supporting the Anxious & Worried Mind in the Classroom and at School
ü Keeping Children Safe in a Wounding World
ü Nurturing Resilience
ü Stress and Resilience
ü Proven Brief Interventions to Help Students with Emotional and Behavioural Problems
#1 & 3: Working with Violent and Aggressive Children & Youth
#2 & 4: Strengthen Executive Function with 20 Brain Coaching & Cognitive-Motor Activities to Improve Self-Regulation
#5 & 7: Art Therapy Interventions to Address Anxiety and Trauma for Kids
#6 & 8: Supporting the Anxious & Worried Mind in the Classroom
#9: Keeping Children Safe in a Wounding World
#10: Nurturing Resilience
#11: Stress and Resilience
#12: Proven Brief Interventions to Help Students with Emotional Problems
Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D.
Clinical & Developmental Psychologist
Founder of the Neufeld Institute
Vancouver, Canada
A JACK HIROSE SEMINAR
Healing & Trea,ng Trauma Wounds
Edmonton, Alberta December 2, 2024
Copyright 2024 Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
The handout is intended for registered par?cipants of this seminar only.
Please do notduplicate this document without permission.For more informa?on regarding the Neufeld Ins?tute or Dr. Neufeld and his work, please consult the website. www. neufeldins,tute.org
working with AGGRESSIVE and VIOLENT Children and Youth
Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D. Clinical & Developmental Psychologist Vancouver, Canada
NEUFELD’S TRAFFIC CIRCLE MODEL OF frustration
Becoming Acquainted
- is one of Nature’s most powerful and primordial instruments of CARE
- comes into existence when things aren’t working, and sFcks around seeking for resoluFon of some kind
- serves ATTACHMENT first and foremost as aQachment is what most needs to work
- has a MIND of its OWN, bent on effec$ng change when sensing disasFsfacFon, but not at all inclined to consult with higher mental processes
- is BLIND and IMPULSIVE if not felt, which can be most (if not all) of the Fme
- is typically perceived as a NEGATIVE and unnecessary emoFon and therefore not always invited to exist
- is rouFnely VILLIFIED for the way it expresses itself when its purposes are thwarted
- has many and diverse OFFSPRING involving cogniFon & behaviour, which oNen tend to camouflage its existence
Displacing frustra8on to another 8me and place by responding in ways that intensify or
Atachment’s Emergency First Aid Team
OUR MOTTO - “We promise to get emo.onal when holes appear in the fabric of your togetherness”
The primal separation emotions extend the evolutionary reach of the proximity instincts to patch any holes that may appear in the fabric of togetherness.
attachment instincts
These impulse-driven patches are pre-programmed scripts, situational in nature and blindly applied.
Any resulting proximity comes at a cost to a sense of security.
sensing thwarted togetherness
BEHAVIORAL DERIVATIVES OF FRUSTRATION
COGNITIONBASED DERIVATIVES OF FRUSTRATION (ie, secondary emo8on)
to see through the distrac8ng deriva8ves of frustra8on to the emo8on itself and its typical roots in aTachment distress
- a SECONDARY emoFon involving cogniFon and consciousness
- triggers impulses to assign BLAME and seek jusFce (eg, get even, exact revenge, seek an apology)
- focusing on anger including confronFng it, interferes with resolving underlying frustraFon
- experienced only by HUMANS - experienced by all MAMMALS - triggered by perceived injus$ce - evoked by something not working
- a PRIMAL emoFon that can exist without thinking or feeling
- triggers impulses to effect CHANGE, and if thwarted in this work and the fuFlity not felt, in aQacking energy and impulses
- focusing on frustraFon, even if anger exists, best sets the stage for healthy resoluFon
Anger eclipses and camouflages frustration and distracts from its resolution
• demanding & commanding
• bossing and controlling
• exposing one’s neediness
• advising and confronFng
STORY ALTERNATE OUTCOMES
OTHERS
• construcFng & problem solving
• planning and scheming
• orchestraFng & organizing THINGS
• controlling and manipulaFng
• improving one’s self
• adjusFng & accommodaFng
• trying harder to make things work
• sacrificing self to make things work
SELF
• holding on to good experiences
• altering Fme or reality or the past
• altering circumstances or another’s character or decisions
• keeping bad things from happening, including loss and dying
• defying the laws of nature
• geYng one’s way all the Fme
• keeping siblings from being born or sending them back
• choosing one’s parents or keeping them together
• making things work that won’t
• altering the ‘givens’
• avoiding upset
for spontaneous transforma$on to happen, FUTILITY has to be truly FELT, not just known
• RELIEF from the emoFonal pressure of stuck & stale frustraFon
• emoFonal RESET and RENEWAL as frustraFon is RESOLVED
• emoFonal REST from fuFle work, rendering discipline effecFve and enabling healing and leYng go
• RECOVERY of the capacity for fulfillment and happiness as well as the spontaneous realizaFon of potenFal
• develops RESILIENCE as strength results from facing and feeling fuFlity
• RESTORES hope and perspecFve
for spontaneous transforma$on to happen, FUTILITY has to be truly FELT, not just known
Atachment’s Emergency First Aid Team
OUR MOTTO - “We promise to get emo.onal when holes appear in the fabric of your togetherness”
“We also promise to hang around un.l fu.lity is felt”
Te Work & Wisdom of Frustaton
• how Nature ensures our ongoing personal EVOLUTION, developing us as agents of change and transforming us when that change is not possible, thus conFnually moving us towards a more saFsfying state of being
• how Nature takes CARE of us, regardless of the situaFon or circumstances we are born to, and regardless of what happens along the way
• could be considered the core work of THERAPY, that is, to facilitate the work of frustraFon
frustration to make things
sets the stage to from fuFle endeavours and be instead
ie, the face of frustraFon when thwarted in its purposes
- if frustraFon-fueled, results from aQacking impulses that have been displaced to the self
- self-aQack can take many forms – self-derision, self-hatred, selfdeprecaFon, self-negaFng, selfhiYng, AND also includes most suicidal ideaFon and impulses - some other moFvaFons for suicide are PURSUIT (eg, to join a loved one, increase one’s status), ALARM (preempt a terrifying scenario), or as a DEFENSE against an unbearable experience
- a messy construct that interferes with insight as to its varied emoFonal roots
- most of what is referred to as self-harm (ie, burning, cuYng, hair-pulling) is rooted in being so defended against the primal emoFon of alarm that engaging in alarming behaviour evokes an adrenalin rush without any corresponding sense of vulnerability. This kind of selfharm can also evoke the body’s defenses against pain.
The current construct of self-harm tends to eclipse and camouflage its varied emo8onal roots in alarm, frustra8on and pursuit
frustration
aLacking impulses are UNtempered #1 #2 #3
FUTILITY is encountered but NOT FELT
THE ANTECEDENTS OF AGGRESSION
COMMON MISTAKE
Adding consequences to frustra8on-driven aTacks that fuel its antecedents
TRAVERSING
THE TRAFFIC CIRCLE OF MODEL OF frustration
EXAMINING THE ROLES OF ...
• MATURATION in determining outcomes
• ATTACHMENT, especially in the depression and displacement of aQacking impulses
• FEELING in determining outcomes
• EMOTIONAL PLAY in determining outcomes
frustration
lacking a developed capacity to hold on when apart
lacking ability to effect change
frustration THE FACTOR
lacking a rela$onship with frustra$on
lacking support for felt fu$lity
lacking mixed feelings
DEVELOPMENTAL SOLUTION TO THWARTED TOGETHERNESS
frustration Supportrelational&emotionalmaturation
Five Steps of Emotional Maturation
where self-disclosure begins
where self-control begins
COMMON MISTAKE
Not retrea8ng far enough developmentally in order to get at the root of the emo8onal immaturity
frustration THE FACTOR a newly developed capacity for mixed feelings
where FUTILITY is more likely to be encountered but NOT necessarily FELT
frustration
Depressioncanresultfromtrappedfrustration
where FUTILITY is more likely to be encountered but NOT necessarily FELT
- is where we get most frustrated and are most likely to encounter fu8lity
THE FACTOR
- is where we have the most to cry about and are most in need of safe rela8onships to access those tears
- is where we have the most reason to be tempered
cannot alter rela$onal LOSS LACK, including the invita$on to exist, or the other’s will to hold on to us
THWARTED PROXIMITY
will be UNTEMPERED where development &/or aLachment is lacking
cannot access SADNESS without the SAFETY that comes primarily in the context of warm aLachment
can be reduce the threat to to working aTachments (including to SELF)
depression = fla<ened affect
The Wisdom of Depression
Although inherently biased to express ourselves, when this expression threatens attachment the human brain is wisely programmed to sacrifice emotional expression for the sake of togetherness.
This core internal defense results in the brain being divided against itself and comes at a great cost to energy and functioning.
• feelings are the ‘EYES’ of frustraFon, opFmizing its work
moved to make things
feelings
• feelings LINK cause & effect and provide FEEDBACK re effecFveness or fuFlity
feelings
frustration
• the brain must FEEL its way through to effecFve change or transforming adaptaFon
feelings feelings
sets the stage to REST from fuFle endeavours and be CHANGED instead
• the more deeply and vulnerably the frustraFon is felt, the more INFORMED are the aQempts at change but also the more likely to feel the FUTILITY of fixing a relaFonal separaFon problem
Giving te Brain te Feedback it Needs
To facilitate the work of frustra.on, scenarios must end in one of two feelings - flip sides of the same emo.onal coin & derived from the same La.n word ‘sate’ meaning ‘enough’ or ‘turning point’.
Today’s society lacks the wisdom to take scenarios to their emo.onal endpoints , believing instead in the‘mind’ as the answer.
cannot manage frustra$on that is not FELT
frustration
without FEELINGS, aLempts to effect change will be uninformed
the fu$lity encountered must be FELT for frustra$on to end and adapta$on to occur
lack of mixed FEELINGS leaves aLacking impulses UNtempered
cannot manage frustra$on that is not FELT
frustration
without FEELINGS, aLempts to effect change will be uninformed
the fu$lity encountered must be FELT for frustra$on to end and adapta$on to occur
frustration
a lack of feeling restricts release through SELFDISCLOSURE
frustra8on-fuelled energy and impulses to make things or to make things work
• construc.ng and craJs
• organizing and orchestra.ng
• designing and engineering
• developing models, sets and scenarios
frustra8on-fuelled energy and impulses to aTack or destroy
• destroying & demolishing in play
• play figh.ng & mock aggression
• hiHng and throwing in play
• kicking and screaming in play
• war games, a<acking games
• sword play, insult games
• playful sarcasm and wit
• a<acking energy in stories, art, music, dance and wri.ng
... pressing down on irritaFon or aggression
... trying hard not to get frustrated
... trying to make everything work
... aQempFng to keep posiFve
... controlling one’s thoughts
... aQempts at self-control
... trying to calm down
... striving for success
... fighFng depression
invite into play the underlying FRUSTRATION
Accessing sadness is usually easier in the play mode
• renders defenses unnecessary, thus making it easier to feel
• provides something to cry about that is one step removed and thus not too much to bear
• can set the stage with fantasies that reveal the futility
• plays directly to our emotions as in melancholy music, poetry, or a sad story
• shifts the locus from the HEAD to HEART, from thinking to feeling, from doing to being
• can remove the impediments to tears such as selfconsciousness, shame, and social sanctions
• contains the sadness to the parameters of play, rendering it more bearable
• provides safe release for stuck emotion, thus making it easier to fall into our tears in the wake of intense expression
How to prime adaptation situationally where aggression is NOT a problem
Step One involves arranging an encounter with futility. (eg, decision, limit, rule, restriction, consequence, reality)
Step Two involves gently but firmly ‘holding’ in the experience of futility until there is nothing left to do but ‘cry’.
Step Three involves drawing out the sadness and disappointment in the context of warm comfort.
When ‘tears’ are stuck, steps should be reversed in order to avoid provoking aggression. When not able to do this work, we should find an adult to whom the child is attached to serve this function.
How to prime adaptation when tears are STUCK
1. Start with becoming accepted as an agent of comfort. Come alongside but ‘go slow’. If you touch a wound, do so ever so gently and indirectly and do not linger.
2. Once comfort is accepted, proceed to act as an agent of futility, but only indirectly, not with futilities that are of your making. Stay primarily in the role of comforter.
3. Only once tears of sadness occur spontaneously is it safe to take a stronger stance as a direct agent of futility. Always make sure there is a safe place for tears and prepare to take a tactical retreat if the process is leading to hardening instead of softening.
- use emotional playgrounds to access sadness -
To create a story of frustration with good outcomes ...
• accept that it exists and needs some space to work and to be expressed
• call it by name, reframing as needed
• make frustra$on the focus, not fault or resul$ng behaviour
... cultivate a healthy relationship with frustration
Subtract the blame to get to the frustration
Reflect the frustration, not one’s character or the behaviour, including the impact of the behaviour or how it violates.
To create a story of frustration with good outcomes ...
• accept that it exists and needs some space to work and to be expressed
• call it by name, reframing as needed
• make frustra$on the focus, not fault or resul$ng behaviour
• come alongside frustra$on & its work
• support outcomes that are incompa$ble with aggression, depression & suicide
... cultivate a healthy relationship with frustration
Guidelines for handling incidents
Guidelines for Handling Incidents of Aggression & Violence
1. Instead of trying to make headway, aim to do NO HARM
2. Maintain an ALPHA posture as much as possible.
3. Address the violation simply (if necessary) and REFRAME it as a problem with handling or managing frustration.
4. BRIDGE the problem behaviour as well as any discipline used.
5. SET THE STAGE for future intervention (to give a chance for feelings to calm down and to collect the child before going to work on the aggression problem).
6. EXIT sooner rather than later. Don’t try to teach a lesson.
To create a story of frustration with good outcomes ...
• accept that it exists and needs some space to work and to be expressed
• call it by name, reframing as needed
• make frustra$on the focus, not fault or resul$ng behaviour
• come alongside frustra$on & its work
• support outcomes that are incompa$ble with aggression, depression & suicide
... cultivate a healthy relationship with frustration
Strengthen Executive Function with 20 Brain Coaching & Cognitive-Motor Activities to Improve Self-Regulation, Attention, Memory and Response Inhibition in Children and Adolescents
Kenney, PsyD
4
Dr. Kenney is a pediatric psychologist in the State of Arizona practicing on an intensive language and executive function treatment team at Wellington-Alexander Center for the treatment of Dyslexia, ADHD, Dyscalculia, and Dyspraxia.
As the author and co-author of five books, Dr. Kenney receives royalties from three publishers. Dr. Kenney develops executive function curriculum and cognitive-motor physical activity programs that are used worldwide. She is the creator of the CogniSuite Collection and co-creator of CogniMoves®. Dr. Kenney co-developed the first executive function and self-regulation roll-out mat, Cognitivities with Fit and Fun Playscapes.
Dr. Kenney’s primary income is from clinical practice, teaching, and product sales. The products mentioned in this presentation are not sponsored. Resources are shared for your benefit and the well-being of those with whom you work.
Disclosures Scope of Use of Content
The content in this professional training consists of proprietary content, published, copyrighted, trademarked material, images and concepts from myself, other scientists, publishers, and authors. It is my intention to properly source and cite each reference.
As a course attendee, you have consent to educate and inform your colleagues, patients and students using the materials provided. You may not publish the content, put it online, or share it in any form without the original citations. Some of the videos that you will see were filmed for training and cannot be shared. Your respectful use of this work is appreciated. If you ever wonder about consent for use let me know, I will be honored to speak with you, lynne@lynnekenney.com.
OBJECTIVES: Cognitive Skill Coaching
Learn Learn about the critical relationship between executive function skills and academic achievement.
Explore Explore the research regarding co-existing diagnoses including dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, ADHD, and ASD from a data-based perspective.
Improve Improve how children learn by teaching them how their brains work.
Learn Learn how to teach children to improve their self-coaching skills with research-based activities to improve attention, memory, planning, organization, time management, cognitive flexibility & self-regulation.
Learn Learn how to use narrative, declarative, and imperative language with students to support cognitive skill development.
Learn Learn how to have the “cognitive conversation” about executive function skills including self-control, attention, memory, and cognitive flexibility with your students.
OBJECTIVES –Cognitive-Motor
OBJECTIVES: Cognitive-Motor Skill Development
Movement
Practice Practice the CogniSuite cognitive-motor activities to alert the brain and engage executive function skills.
Learn Learn the importance of Tempo, Rhythm and Timing in strengthening cognition and self-regulation.
Learn Learn how to build intentional motor sequences.
Learn Learn the importance of beat competency.
Learn Learn how to co-create with your students.
Practice Practice sequence development with varying levels of difficulty.
Teach Teach children the “felt-sense of slowing down” with Cognitivities™
For many students, Executive Function Skills and Self-Regulation are more powerful predictors of reading and math achievement than IQ or Socio-Economic Status.
Empirical research demonstrates that the development of executive functions during childhood plays a central role in school readiness, academic achievement, social-emotional development, and life-long success.
Executive Function is Central to Immediate & Life-Long Success
•Increased school readiness
•Better performance in reading and math
•More stable relationships
•Less risk-taking behavior
•Better job performance
•Better productivity
•Better physical health
•Higher graduation rates
•Higher income
See Mulder, et al. 2017; Blair and Razza, 2007; Bull et al., 2008; Clark et al., 2010; Geary et al., 2012; Cortés Pascual et al., 2019; McClelland et al., 2021.
Executive Function is a collection of self - regulatory control processes that are divided into core domains of working memory, inhibition, control of attention, and cognitive flexibility. Healthy executive functioning helps us to be adaptive prosocial human beings.
Executive Function includes metacognitive and functional abilities that increase awareness and conscious control of our thoughts, feelings and actions.
Executive function skills are essential for planning, executing, and monitoring goaldirected behavior, and are therefore central to problem - solving and learning.
EF is associated with core academic achievement in reading, math, science, and social studies for typically developing children as well as those with special needs.
Working Memory: the ability to hold information in mind for recall and application
Cognitive Flexibility: the ability to think about something in multiple ways, flexibly shift the focus of one’s attention, and generate multiple solutions to a problem
Inhibitory Control: the ability to inhibit fast and unthinking responses to stimulation
What Does an Eighth Note Look/Sound Like? In Motor-Cognition a Musical Note Indicates Duration of a Movement on a Beat
What Does a Whole Note Look/Sound Like? (Duration)
What Does a Half Note Look/Sound Like?
What Does a Quarter Note Look/Sound Like?
Classroom
Impact –Academics & Behavior
Self - Regulation supports impulse management and cognitive control strategies.
Attention facilitates attending to salient details and ignoring irrelevant stimuli or distractions.
Patterning and sequencing underlie reading fluency and numeracy.
Working Memory aids children in holding information long enough to turn salient information into knowledge
• Cognitive Flexibility supports a child’s ability to adapt to changes in expectations, rules, or priorities.
Executive Function Skills support coordinating specific reading processes including decoding, encoding, retrieving information, supporting mental imagery, and simultaneously coordinating reading processes.
Classroom ImpactMotor Skills
Balance, Posture and Weight Shift lead to cognitive and motor fluidity and efficiency in the classroom.
Core and Shoulder Strength support posture related tasks such as writing, drawing, reading, using manipulatives, and completing worksheets.
Motor Tempo, Rhythm and Timing support approach to tasks, organization, attention, memory, and reading prosody.
• Vestibular strength facilitates attention, visual tracking, awareness in space, and body management. Graphomotor skills support cognitive output.
Balancing on rocks, train tracks and trees
Creating and running obstacle courses
Hours of digging building and tunneling
Hours of imaginary play
Jumping into lakes
Jumping off swings
Jumping rope
Playing on the floor
Playing in nature
Playing independently outdoors
Playing hand games
Singing rhyming songs
Swinging on a rope
Swing upside down from trees
Taking physical risks
Predictors Early Years Success
Early Academic Building Blocks and Executive Function are particularly predictive of later success
• Highly predictive language precursors include vocabulary, phonological awareness, and letter knowledge (Overdeck Family Foundation).
• Early academic skills include basic literacy (e.g., being able to recognize letters, phonemic awareness) and numeracy (e.g., knowledge of numbers and understanding the order of numbers) abilities that position a child to learn from formal instruction (Duncan et al., 2007).
• Learning-enhancing behaviors include attending to classroom activities, following classroom rules, working cooperatively in groups, and persisting at academic tasks, Rabiner et al., 2016 p. 250.
• 77% of preschool - age American children were considered at-risk for developmental delay (scored at or below the 25th percentile), Brian et al., 2019.
Rainer and Jarvis 2020, showed that the overall FMS proficiency levels of Welsh children aged 10 to 11 years were low, with fewer than 10% of both boys and girls demonstrating complete mastery in any of the FMS.
• O’Brien et al. 2016, found that overall skill performance among Ireland adolescents aged 12 and 13 is low, highlighting the fact that almost 90% of students did not achieve mastery level in locomotor skills (e.g., running, skipping, jumping) or that only 11% of students in their study displayed advanced FMS proficiency.
The FMS proficiency of Australian children aged 9 – 15 was also identified as low by the authors of a 13 -yr report of motor competence, highlighting the fact that vertical jump performance significantly decreased from previous assessments Hardy et al., 2013.
Considering the low levels of FMS globally, it seems that more awareness -raising activities among policymakers, teachers and parents are needed, Makaruk et al., 2023.
• The cognitive load theory posits that children possessing robust motor skills within the classroom environment are not compelled to allocate attentional focus, resources, or energetic exertion toward behavioral endeavors.
Children endowed with robust attentional stability, self - regulation, and operational memory may engage effortlessly in novel and intricate educational tasks.
• These explanations emphasize the significance of examining the link between motor skills and academic achievement, as well as determining whether this association is limited to specific types of skills, (Wang & Wang, 2024).
The cerebellum is the powerhouse of the connections between the cognitive and motor systems.
The cerebellum only accounts for about 10 percent of your brain’s total size. Yet is contains up to 80% of the brain cells in your brain.
The cerebellum is involved in the major brain structures that process language, motor and cognitive skills. In fact, the cerebellum is connected to every area of the cortex except the parts of the occipital lobe where low -level visual processing occurs.
The cerebellum is responsible for balance, coordinating motor movements, visual control, language processing, and cognition.
T he cerebellum determines verbal fluency (both semantic and formal) expressive and receptive grammar processing, the ability to identify and correct language mistakes, and writing skills, Starowicz -Filip et al. 2017.
Executive Function impairments are observed in neurodevelopmental disorders, such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Specific Language Impairment (SLI), developmental coordination disorder, and dyslexia. When we improve executive function skills in children with learning, attention, and developmental challenges we improve their lifelong success.
• Executive function is a broad group of mental skills that enable people to complete goal-directed tasks and interact in a socially appropriate manner with others.
• An executive function disorder can impair a person's ability to organize themselves and properly manage their own behavior. However, executive function disorder is not a specific standalone diagnosis or condition in the DSM-V.
• Executive Function Deficit ICD 10 R41.844 executive function dysfunction or executive function deficit is a disruption to the efficacy of executive functions which is a group of cognitive processes that regulate, control and manage other cognitive processes.
Source: Medial News Today
Co-Existing Conditions
More than 80% of the population diagnosed with ADHD has a comorbid condition, Lino & Chieffo, 2022.
Patients with ADHD often have difficulties in coordination and motor programming just as children with DCD show greater impulsivity and difficulties in inhibitory control, Lino & Chieffo, 2022.
Nigg et al., 2005 observed that almost 80% of children with ADHD exhibited a deficit in at least one EF, while this only occurred in 50% of children with typical development (TD).
50% to 80% of children with ADHD or Dyslexia have co -existing diagnoses with 25%40% meeting criteria for both ADHD and Dyslexia Boada et al., 2012
Developmental coordination while existing in 5 -6% of the population exists at substantially higher rates 50% -80% in children with ASD, ADHD and Dyslexia.
Alerting - Moving to a state of cognitive readiness.
• Selecting - Moving one’s attention and focus to a specific target stimulus.
• Attending - Directing meaningful energy and attention to a specific target stimulus.
• Sustaining - Maintaining attention on a specific target stimulus, long enough to take action on it.
Monitoring Drift - Observing the mind becoming off-task.
Re-alerting - Bringing attention back online.
• Re-Selecting - Shifting attention from one stimulus to another with purpose or intent.
What is attention?
§ What makes it easy to pay attention?
§ What makes it difficult to pay attention?
§ What are the parts of the attention cycle?
§ How do you turn on your attention engine?
§ What helps your attention engine run smoothly?
§ What does it mean to be alert?
§ When does your attention need a break?
§ What makes your brain drift?
§ When you drift where do you go? What distracts you?
What helps you remain focused?
What do you tell yourself when you brain needs a break?
§ How long do you think a brain breather should last?
§ How do you re-alert your attention?
§ What do you say to yourself to re-alert your attention?
§ Are there ways we, as a class, can help one another remain alert?
THE COGNITIVE CONVERSATION
MNEMONIC •VISUALIZATION •VERBAL REHEARSAL
Two Person One Bag
1. Practice Form and Posture
• 2. Two Person One Bag 8 Count Switch
• “AND” is the Pause to Prepare Position
• 3. Define Across Over Diagonal
4. Pass & Pause
5. 1-2 Behind the back, over, 5-6 behind the back person B
• 6. Combine forward square and behind the back
• 7. Add heels forward
8. Add marching
COGNiBAGS
Front Load to Increase Mastery & Reduce Anxiety
Front Loading is a previewing strategy that provides children with information, expectations, or skills before they encounter the upcoming situation, task, or learning experience
1. Enhances Understanding : By introducing concepts or expectations in advance, children have the opportunity to process and understand information at their own pace, reducing anxiety and increasing comprehension.
2. Promotes Confidence and Independence : When children know what to expect and how to approach a situation, they're more likely to feel confident and act independently, creating a sense of achievement and self-efficacy.
3. Facilitates Smooth Transitions : Front Loading can be particularly beneficial in helping children prepare for transitions, such as moving between activities or adjusting to new routines, which can often be sources of stress.
4. Supports Behavioral Management : By setting clear expectations in advance, Front Loading helps children understand the expected behaviors, reducing the likelihood of behavioral issues and enhancing the overall learning environment.
Source: Playright.com Occupational Therapy Clinic
Visual Stimuli for Better Self-Regulation, Attention, Memory
A systematic review of the research suggests that short bursts of fine and gross motor coordinated bilateral physical activity may improve attention, processing speed, and focus, van der Fels et al. 2015.
In a systematic review of research studies on the impact of physical activity on attention, deSousa et al. 2018 observed that continuous exercises that required greater cognitive involvement like activities with coordination and balance were related to a better performance during attention-demanding tasks than continuous exercises with fewer or no cognitive challenges (Budde et al., 2008; Palmer et al., 2013).
Bonacina et al. 2019 reported the use of clapping in time training as a way to possibly affect a broad spectrum of rhythmic abilities that are linked to language and literacy processes.
Self-regulated learners are more engaged in the learning process and demonstrate better academic performance. They exhibit increased focus, attention, and persistence in completing tasks, Wang, 2021. Selfregulation skills are positively correlated with improved reading and math achievement, as well as higher grades in various academic subjects, Zimmerman & Schunk, 2011.
• In practice, self-regulation can be seen as one’s ability to manage their physiological state to maintain balanced internal energy, appropriate motor tempo, and modulated rate of verbalizations.
• When self-regulated, children use their cognition to keep themselves calm, emotionally even, and able to effectively respond to expectations and task demands in the moment.
• Educators who teach learners self-regulation are more successful at fostering educational success, engagement, and continuous learning, Brenner, 2022.
Self-Regulation and Response Inhibition are about Learning the “Felt-Sense” of Slowing Down
TIGER UNICORN WATERMELON
THINK-UPS
ART THERAPY FOR KIDS AND TEENS
-Jules Fieffer, Cartoonist,
Understanding the Art Materials
1. Each person relates differently to different materials
2. Allow them to explore
3. Some materials allow for more control
4. Some materials force you to let go of control
5. Force them out of their comfort zone
6. May bring up memories
7. Help to create rituals*
1. Provides another language to tell their story
2. Can project feelings outside of themselves
3. Can be more objective and safe
4. Containment of overwhelming feeling
5. Gives a voice where it is too scary to speak
6. Learn to tolerate frustration
7. Try new things/ experiences
Fear and Anxiety stored in the Amygdala
Eric Kandel, "In Search of Memory"
Containment of overwhelming feeling
Gives a voice where it is too scary to speak
● We all begin with the same starting points
● We all are given the same directives
● We all hear and interpret things differently
● Things may get miscommunicated
● Things may get misunderstood
● When expectations are too high we may be disappointed
● Opportunity to think creatively
● Observe how others interpret the world, without judgement
When it comes to your children, What are you most concerned about?
Behaviors
Health
Relationships Grades
Instability
Divorce, adoption, separation or change of caregivers
Academic anxiety refers to the feelings of worry, tension, or dread that are associated with academic settings or tasks.
1. The Generation of Testers
2. Students are overwhelmed by the pressures to succeed
3. What are the Signs? Anxious students may express their fears by:
a. crying or throwing tantrums, seek constant approval or reassurance from others, headaches, stomachaches, racing heartbeat, or difficulty breathing.
4. “In the Pew survey of teens, academic pressure tops their list of stressors: 61 percent say they face a lot of pressure to get good grades.”
5. SINCE COVID - 19 shown an increase in general anxiety in children under 17
Has the potential to negatively impact all aspects of life, including social relationships, academic performance, emotional wellbeing, and future work opportunities
1. Social Media Binging can lead to lower self-esteem and fatigue
2. Social Change
3. Constant notifications, comparisons to others, pictures of events they weren’t invited to, pressure to get comments and “likes”
5. Parents support - empathetic support, structure, reassurance, and boundaries
Shortness of breath
Heaviness in their body/muscle fatigue
Dry mouth
Clammy hands
And more!
Case study: Phoebe
9 Years Old
Mother died from drug overdose
History Of Physical And Sexual Abuse
Living in a Residential Group Home
(No father involved)
1. Deep breathing exercises: Bubble Breaths
2. The power of positive self- talk & Affirmations: “I can do hard things!”
3. Healthy Nutrition & Sleep Schedule
4. Activity focusing on bodily regulation yoga is a great place to start, look into Somatic practices.
5. Understand, don’t invalidate.
6. Positive Interactions
7. Play!
8. Take the pressure off!
9. Co- Regulation Rituals: family dinners, tea time,
10. Parent Groups/Sessions
11. Family/Parent Meetings
12. Modeling self- care, boundaries, assertive communication and self- efficacy
13. Provide Safe Spaces
14. Tools to use:
a. Fidgets
b. Therapy :)
c. Normalize asking for support and recognizing “anxiety tics”
You cannot put your seatbelt on in the middle of a car accident
1. Don’t try to eliminate their anxiety
2. Don’t avoid things just because they make your child anxious
3. Express positive - but realistic - expectations
4. Respect their feelings, but don’t empower them
5. Don’t ask leading questions
6. Don’t reinforce your child’s fear
7. Be encouraging
8. Keep the anticipatory period short
9. Think things through together
10. Model healthy ways of handling anxiety
Draw what scares you
Draw what makes you feel brave DO
● Limit news and images
● Be honest But reassuring
● Say “It will be OK”
● Validate their feelings
● Talk about anxiety
● Talk about other feelings
● Seek professional help, if needed
DON’T
● Avoid the scary things
● Minimize their feelings
● Excessively discuss your own fears
Case study: Rebecca 8 years old:
1. What feelings do you have about (given situation)?
1. What color is that feeling?
1. What shape is it?
1. Where in your body do you feel it?
1. Does it move around or stay in one place?
1. Does that feeling make you do anything?
Safe Place drawing
1. What can you see?
2. What can you hear?
3. What can you smell?
4. What can you taste?
5. What can you feel?
Draw a Heart
1. Turn the paper over to back
2. List 5- 7 feeling
3. Choose a color for each feeling
5. Flip paper back over to the heart
4. Draw how much of each feeling you have right now
1. Draw the Yucky
1. Draw the opposite of the Yucky
1. Imagine that something magical could come along and change the first drawing into the second drawing. What would your magic look like?
Deep breathing exercises 2. The power of positive self- talk & affirmations 3. Healthy nutrition & sleep and daily schedule 4. Activity focusing on bodily regulation
a. Yoga
b. Somatic practices
5. Listen, don’t invalidate.
6. FOSTER RESILIENCE
Start early
Be consistent
Make it part of your routine
1.
Let them Fail
Self Regulation
Self Care
Service to Others
Ask for Help
Act Confident
● Positive physical development
● Academic achievement/intellectual development
● Good coping skills and problem- solving skills
● Engagement and connections in two or more of the following contexts: school, with peers, in athletics, employment, religion, culture
● High self- esteem
● Clear and stable expectations
● Self Efficacy
● Emotional self- regulation
Stick Person Drawing
Something above
Anything else
Holding something
Standing on something
Wearing something
Something beside
Dropping something
Wearing something else
Practice Prevention
Reduce Frustration To Reduce Tantrum Frequency
Don’t give in to Demands
Stay Calm
Humor and/or Distraction
Don’t take it Personally
Differentiate between feelings and behaviors Model appropriate anger management
Establish anger rules
Case Study: Kenji 11 years old
Oppositional Lying Stealing Acting out
Mother died of cancer when he was 5 - living in Japan
Moved in with maternal aunt, and she dies of cancer when he was 7yo
Moved to US to live with maternal Uncle and Aunt
Be consistent Teach healthy coping skills
Consequences when necessary
1. Draw your yucky feeling
2. Use colors, shapes, lines 3. Crumple it up 4. Open it - Say something to it 5. Rip and tear it up
6. Throw half away
7. Write the opposite feeling on the colored papertear into 3 equal parts
8. Give away your opposite feelings
9. Take away someone else’s yucky
10. Collage the parts back together
Play “Freeze!Focus!”
Make Memory Musical
Make the Day a Story
Puzzles and Play
Help children to be in control
Watercolor Paints, blow with straws
Control Breathe
Be intentional
Have fun
Learn to delay gratification - “make future me happy”
● Frequent worrying
● Trouble concentrating
● Skipping activities they used to enjoy
● Difficulty with sleep
● Clinging to caregivers
● Extreme focus on safety and health
● Irritability or edginess
● Shutting down
● Repetitive behaviors
1. Name their feelings
1. Talk about the feeling
1. Identify where in the body those feelings manifest and live
1. Recognize the connection between thoughts and feelings
1. Learn to separate thoughts, feelings and behaviors
● Frequent worrying
● Trouble concentrating
● Skipping activities they used to enjoy
● Difficulty with sleep
● Clinging to caregivers
● Extreme focus on safety and health
● Irritability or edginess
● Shutting down
● Repetitive behaviors
● Delayed Gratification
● Self Restraint
● Trusting the Process
● Encourages Creativity
● Increased Self- Esteem
“Art, like morality, consists of drawing a line somewhere”
Wherewillsit WhoI’llsitwith Weather? Whattimewe’llget back Wherethebathrooms are Bugs? Howmuchwalking? Allergicreaction •Snackbreaks Ifthebuswillbeon time Howbusyit’llbe Howloudit’llbe
Clinical & Developmental Psychologist Founder of the Neufeld Institute Vancouver, Canada
A JACK HIROSE SEMINAR
Healing & Trea,ng Trauma Wounds
Edmonton, Alberta December 4, 2024
Copyright 2024 Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
The handout is intended for registered par?cipants of this seminar only.
Please do notduplicate this document without permission.For more informa?on regarding the Neufeld Ins?tute or Dr. Neufeld and his work, please consult the website.
www. neufeldins,tute.org
Keeping Children Safe In a Wounding World
Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D Developmental & Clinical Psychologist Founder of the Neufeld Institute
The Impact of Wounding - a loss of tnder feeling -
• increased restlessness
• increased boredom
• loss of emergent energy and vitality
• STUCKNESS both emoIonally and developmentally
• LOSS of WELL-BEING (ie, mental health)
Some Hard Evidence of Increased Wounding
• more alarmed – children’s general anxiety is five to eight times more than in the 1950’s and more than London children in the second world war
• more depressed – with similar increase to anxiety over the last 70 years
• more suicidal – with the suicide rate for children under age 15 having quadrupled since the 1950’s
INSIDIOUS IMPACT OF WOUNDING
more predisposed to ALARM problems of all kinds
more likely to WOUND others
more likely to manifest an AGGRESSION problem
more IMPULSIVE and emo-onally immature
increased BOREDOM
more likely to have SUICIDAL inclina-ons
more DRUG and addic-on problems
• pro-social programs
the CRUSADES
• empathy training • social-emo3onal
• an3-bullying learning crusades
• zero-tolerance programs
• value educa3on
• sensi3vity training
• an3-discrimina3on campaigns
• discipline approaches
The Impact of Wounding
- a loss of tnder feeling -
• increased restlessness
• increased boredom
• loss of emergent energy and vitality
• STUCKNESS both emoIonally and developmentally
• LOSS of WELL-BEING (ie, mental health)
• LOSS of EMPATHY or the FAILURE to DEVELOP it
WOUNDING
MORE WOUNDING
LOSS OF FEELING
LOSS OF WELL-BEING
• AGGRESSION
• STUCKNESS
• BULLYING
• FIXES & FIXATIONS
• ALARM PROBLEMS
LESS
EMPATHY
• SUICIDE
• BOREDOM
• DEPRESSION
• RESTLESSNESS
• IMPULSIVENESS
HOW EMPATHY DEVELOPS SPONTANEOUSLY IF CONDITIONS ARE CONDUCIVE
a natural feeling of aMachment that is spontaneous but can also be lost due to wounding
provides the impetus, context & purpose
gives empathy its mo3va3onal core
full of tender feeling and caring play
EMPATHY
gives empathy its effec'veness
a capacity developed through feeling conflicted, with caring the primary cause of the inner conflict
a fruit of integraIve funcIoning – the final process of development
Caring is te core of al developed virtues
• pro-social programs
the CRUSADES
• empathy training • social-emo3onal
• an3-bullying learning crusades
• zero-tolerance programs
• value educa3on
• sensi3vity training
• an3-discrimina3on campaigns
• discipline approaches
WOUNDING
- consequence - based discipline
- peer orienta'on
• social media
• aMachment
polarizaIon
MORE WOUNDING
LOSS OF FEELING
drugs and Medication
LOSS OF WELL-BEING
• AGGRESSION
• STUCKNESS
• BULLYING
• FIXES & FIXATIONS
LESS EMPATHY
• ALARM PROBLEMS
• SUICIDE
• BOREDOM
• DEPRESSION
• RESTLESSNESS
• IMPULSIVENESS
PEER
ORIENTATION is a hidden but escalating epidemic rendering our children deeply & profoundly wounded
PEER ORIENTATION
Children taking their cues from each other as to how to act, what to do, how to talk, what to wear, how to express oneself, what is valued, what is expected, what is right and what is wrong
The compe-ng nature of most peer aTachments today (ie, can’t be close to both peers and adults simultaneously) pulls children out of orbit from around the adults responsible for them.
peer orientation REsults in More Wounding
less empathy
more bullying
more social interac-on
less scrip-ng & supervision
positive polarity negative polarity shies away from resists contact alienates looks down upon ignores & disregards mocks & mimics disowns opposes & betrays holds in contempt ridicules and derides spoils things for discounts as not maTering annoys and irritates eschews loathes keeps secrets from or creates secrets about
seeks to be with makes contact endears looks up to aTends & listens to imitates & emulates possesses is loyal to holds dear aTempts to find favour makes things work for seeks to maTer to seeks to please befriends loves shares secrets with or keeps the secrets of
THE INSIDIOUS IMPACT OF PEER ORIENTATION
• more wounding interacIon
• more restlessness and boredom
• more alarm, frustraIon and relentless pursuit
• less recovery of feelings
• more emoIonal & developmental stuckness
• less feeling cared for & cared about
• less emoIonal well-being and corresponding mental health
• less integraIon into parents’ culture
• less recepIve to being parented and taught with parents robbed of the ability to be the answers to their children
THE INSIDIOUS IMPACT OF PEER ORIENTATION
• more wounding interacIon
• more restlessness and boredom
• more alarm, frustraIon and relentless pursuit
• less recovery of feelings
• more emoIonal & developmental stuckness
• less feeling cared for & cared about
• less emoIonal well-being and corresponding mental health
• less integraIon into parents’ culture
• less recepIve to being parented and taught with parents robbed of the ability to be the answers to their children
attaching to PARENTS and other adults responsible for the child emergence into PERSONHOOD able to relate to without loss of individuality or loss of adult attachment
PEERS
Preventing or reversing PEER ORIENTATION is the single most important challenge for parenting in a wounding world
• pro-social programs
the CRUSADES
• empathy training • social-emo3onal
• an3-bullying learning crusades
• zero-tolerance programs
• value educa3on
• sensi3vity training
• an3-discrimina3on campaigns
• discipline approaches
PART II
How can we provide safety and reverse the loss of feeling
In a Wounding World
• pro-social programs
the CRUSADES
• empathy training • social-emo3onal
• an3-bullying learning crusades
• zero-tolerance programs
• value educa3on
• sensi3vity training
• an3-discrimina3on campaigns
Copyright 2024 Gordon Neufeld PhD
• discipline approaches
THREAT – an evolution in understanding
threat is to SURVIVAL
STRESS itself is the threat
SAFETY is freedom from threats to survival SAFETY is freedom from stress and distressing events
SEPARATION is the threat
THREAT – an evolution in understanding
threat is to SURVIVAL
STRESS itself is the threat
SAFETY is freedom from threats to survival SAFETY is freedom from stress and distressing events
SEPARATION is the threat
SAFETY is freedom from threats to togetherness
can’t be with ... not special to ... notunderstoodby... BETRAYED NOT LIKED BY ... feelingunlovedby... replacedby... isolation rejecIon not wanted discounted by ... lack of belonging can’tconnectwith...
can’t hold on when apart feelingdifferent losing face not important to ... not recognized by ... threats to identity
NEGLECTED NOT HELD ON TO BY ... loneliness not belonging not maMering to ... facing DEATH separateness
How can we deliver some freedom from threats to togetherness in a world where facing separation is inevitable & inescapable?
PROVIDING SAFETY IN A WOUNDING WORLD
Where the helper can be ANYONE but preferably a caring adult to whom the child or adult is aTached or will aTach
Providing SHIELDING & SANCTUARY in a wounding world
Facing togetherness
– and the resulting sense of safetyis a function of right relationship
less empathy
more bullying
ADULT
CHILD
social interac-on
less scrip-ng & supervision
less empathy
more bullying
ADULT
We must HAVE their hearts before we can protect their hearts
CHILD
more social interac-on
less scrip-ng & supervision
less empathy
ADULT
We must
more social interac-on
more bullying less scrip-ng & supervision
CHILD
ENCOUNTERS WITH FUTILITY
REST RECOVERY RESILIENCE RENEWAL
HELP THAT IS HELPFUL!!
• keeping or restoring perspective
• right thinking / being positive
• pursuing happiness
• resisting the ‘let-down’
• acquiring the ‘skills’ of resilience
• pursuing calmness & tranquility
Through a child’s attachment to us, we can BE their ANSWER even when we cannot make their world less wounding:
• BE their HOME
• BE their place of REST
• BE their sanctuary of SAFETY
• BE their SHIELD in a wounding world
• BE their REASON for holding on
The answer is in BEING - not in DOING or SAYING or KNOWING the right things – when empowered by their attachments to us.
The brain in the PLAY mode is SAFE from registering threats to togetherness
begins, protects & unfolds
curiosity
PLAY
primes & protects engages & op3mizes
crea'vity
makes it SAFE to feel & express
Play is SAFE so feelings won’t get hurt
Emo-ons are NOT AT WORK, so the normal inhibi-on of feelings is reversed
Emo-ons are freer to MOVE and so more likely to be felt and iden-fied
WORDS or their lack do not get in the way
Emo-ons are much EASIER to FEEL when one step removed from real life
Sadness becomes SWEET enough to be engaging
How play recovers feeling and softens the heart
Change or control the WOUNDED
Providing and in a wounding world
Change or control the WOUNDERS
Change or control the SITUATION
Change or control their RELATIONSHIP
Change or control the WOUNDED
embed in caring adult aMachments
Providing and in a wounding world
Change or control the WOUNDERS
embed in caring adult aMachments
Change or control the SITUATION
WOUNDERS need to maMer less
matchmake for caring assume responsibility to keep out of harm’s way
Change or control their RELATIONSHIP
Change or control the WOUNDED
embed in caring adult aMachments
Providing and in a wounding world
Change or control the WOUNDERS
Change or control the SITUATION
embed in caring adult aMachments
WOUNDERS need to maMer less
matchmake for caring assume responsibility to keep out of harm’s way
Change or control their RELATIONSHIP
vs Tilting at a wounding world
- crusades against bullying, meanness, discriminaIon, violence, insensiIvity, injusIce, intolerance
- prosocial programs aimed at children being nice and kind
- discipline approaches aimed at teaching a lesson, socializa-on approaches aimed at declaring hur`ul interacIon unacceptable, and legal approaches punishing the violators
• How to Encourage Student Use:Assignresearchprojectsearlyintheyearthat requirelibraryresourcesorcreate“bookscavengerhunts”tofamiliarizethem withdifferentsections.
• How to Encourage Student Use:Highlighttheprogramstoboostunderstanding, preparefortests,orexploresubjectsinmoredepth.Emphasizethatattendance canleadto academicgrowthandconfidence.
• How to Encourage Student Use:Normalizevisitingthecounselorbysharing examplesofeverydaychallengesthatstudentscanseekhelpfor,likemanaging stressorplanningforthefuture.
• How to Encourage Student Use:Highlighttheimportanceofbuildingsocial networksandexploringnewinterests,notinghowtheseconnectionsfosterasense ofbelongingandself-confidence.
• Incorporatestorytelling:Usestorytellingtointroducealesson,especiallyforhistory, literature,orscience.Agoodstorycandrawstudentsinandmakethemwanttoknow more.
Copyright 2024 Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
The handout is intended for registered par?cipants of this seminar only.
Please do notduplicate this document without permission.For more informa?on regarding the Neufeld Ins?tute or Dr. Neufeld and his work, please consult the website. www. neufeldins,tute.org
School Culture for Distressing Times - Dr. Gordon Neufeld
Stress and Resilience
Creating a School Culture for Distressing Times
Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D Developmental & Clinical Psychologist Vancouver, Canada
Creating a School Culture for Distressing Times
PART I - UpdaEng foundaEonal understandings of stress, resilience and student engagement
PART II – RecreaEng a relaEonal-based and play-based school culture
School Culture for Distressing Times -
Dr. Gordon Neufeld
losing face personal injury
both parents working
isolation failure being LOST secrets
disability
moving school
loneliness CHANGE
bedtime hospitalization residenEal school
threats to identity NEGLECT ABUSE
adopEon daycare DIVORCE facing DEATH RETIREMENT anothersibling
lack of belonging can’tconnectwith...
loss of loved one
feelingdifferent losing face not important to ...
can’t be with ...
loneliness not belonging not maUering to ...
threats to identity
NEGLECTED NOT HELD ON TO BY ...
isolation rejecEon not wanted discounted by ...
feelingunlovedby... replacedby...
not recognized by ...
not special to ... notunderstoodby... BETRAYED NOT LIKED BY ...
can’t hold on when apart
WHAT HAPPENS EMOTIONALLY WHEN DISTRESSED
Copyright 2024 Gordon Neufeld PhD
Atachment’s Emergency First Aid Team
OUR MOTTO - “We promise to get emo.onal when holes appear in the fabric of your togetherness”
The Stress Response
armours the heart
• ACTIVATES primal separaBon emoBons
• while at the same Bme, INHIBITS FEELINGS that would interfere with performing or funcEoning in stressful circumstances
STRESS RESPONSE = MORE EMOTION BUT LESS FEELING
• gives the STRENGTH and TOUGHNESS needed to funcEon or perform in stressful or wounding circumstances
• instantly CHANGES one to be able to COPE with adversity & SURVIVE distressing circumstances
• taps all available resources to enable one to PERSEVERE in the face of distress and OVERCOME stressful circumstances
The
Stress Response
armours the heart
• ACTIVATES primal separaBon emoBons
• while at the same Bme, INHIBITS FEELINGS that would interfere with performing or funcEoning in stressful circumstances
Current educaBonal pracBce assumes that any student could or should be engaged by ...
... new informaEon and by being given choices regarding their learning
... experiencing failure and fuElity
... informaEon that conflicts with their thoughts, feelings & viewpoints
curiosity and sense of agency
ability to learn from mistakes and failure
ability to process dissonance and feel con5licted
• viability as a separate being
• full of vitality (not easily bored)
• venturing forth energy
• a relationship with self
• a strong quest for independence
• well-tempered
• resilient & resourceful
• recovers from trauma
• benefits from adversity
• adapts to circumstances
• considerate & civilized
• balanced / perspective
• appreciates context
• can solve problems
• learns from consequences
• egalitarian values
• learns from dissonance
engaged by failure & fu$lity
engaged by the unknown and by choices
engaged by what conflicts readiness
engagement lies in the ‘growing edges’ of human potenEal
With diminished teachability, less and less of our teaching results in learning, a sure recipe for teacher stress & burnout.
engaged by the unknown and by choices
engaged by failure & fu$lity
engagement lies in what, whom and how a child is aMached
emergent Maturation
engaged by what conflicts
engagement lies in the ‘growing edges’ of human potenEal adaptive integrative
Attachment True Play
engagement lies in what isn’t work or outcome-based
The Relational Context for Learning
• opBmizes learning by harnessing the power of aUachment and
tapping into the ulEmate prioriEes of the brain
• most learning is automaBc and spontaneous, not formal or planned
• harnesses aUenEon, memory and moEvaEon
learning
• creates the models to emulate
• is a ‘bottom-up’ arrangement - students designate their ‘teachers’, for beUer or for worse
• if the aUachment is to the individual (vs role), learning is specific to the person and therefore not transferable
Empowering Effect of ARachment
We are more …
• inclined to FOLLOW
• likely to ATTEND to
• able to feel AT HOME with
• prone to assume the FORM of
• predisposed to TALK like
• apt to feel like being GOOD for
• willing to AGREE with
• likely to TAKE DIRECTION from
• open to being INFLUENCED by
• predisposed to MEASURE UP TO
… those to whom we are aRached.
EMPOWERS
learning STUDENT ENGAGE- MENT
• MOTIVATES both intrinsically & extrinsically
Attachment TruePlay
• employs the FAMILIAR & the known to facilitate learning
• aUachment infuses REWARDS & reinforcements with their power
• opens learning INSIDE of aUachment and blocks learning outside of the context of aUachment
• challenge is to ENGAGE the aUachment insEncts so their POWER can be harnessed
OPTIMIZES learning
• OPTIMIZES aUenEon, memory & performance
• fosters EXPLORATION into new territory
• play is PREEMPTED when rewarded or when the focus is on outcomes
• opens learning OUTSIDE of aUachment, reducing interference from shyness, counterwill, and alarm
• challenge is to ENGAGE the play insEncts as well as to carve out the SPACE and set the STAGE for play
engaged by the unknown and by choices
engaged by failure & fu$lity
engagement lies in what, whom and how a child is aMached
PEER ORIENTATION
engaged by what conflicts
Maturation
engagement lies in the ‘growing edges’ of human potenEal
Attachment True Play
PEER ORIENTATION
engagement lies in what isn’t work or outcome-based
OUT-COME BASED APPROACH
Children taking their cues from each other as to how to act, what to do, how to talk, what to wear, how to express oneself, what is valued, what is expected, what is right and what is wrong
The compeBng nature of most peer aRachments today (ie, can’t be close to both peers and adults simultaneously) pulls children out of orbit from around the adults responsible for them.
THE PROBLEMS WITH PEER ORIENTATION
• does NOT serve survival as children were not meant to take care of each other
• robs adults of the power they need to parent, teach and treat
• robs children of the shielding and protecEon they need to live in an wounding world
• breeds ALPHA children, with all the problems that ensue
• fuels an obsession with digital devices and social media, which further compete with family & educaEon
• the more peers maUer, the more separaEon to be faced, resulEng in escalaEng wounding and distress
• can result in chaoEc polarizaEon & tribalizaBon which in turn can create a ‘lord of the flies’ scenario
Teachers go to school to teach ...
... but peer-oriented students go to school to be with their friends.
When the primary agendas of teachers and students are in conflict, stress results.
Retreat to Relationship & Play to engage students in their learning
Creating a School Culture for Distressing Times
PART I - UpdaEng foundaEonal understandings of stress, resilience and student engagement
idealisBc systems based on assumed teachability
outdated systems aimed at preparing soldiers & workers
state systems based on roles and replacing family
colonizing systems based on imposing dominant cultures
idealisBc systems based on assumed teachability
outdated systems aimed at preparing soldiers & workers
state systems based on roles and replacing family
colonizing systems based on imposing dominant cultures
Engage in learning through ATTACHMENT
• take stock of a child’s aUachments (ie, what a child cares about) to uElize as vehicles of learning when needed
• uElize exisEng aUachments to caring adults (eg, teachers, staff, family, extended family) to create contexts for learning
• matchmake to older mentor-type students to acEvate and empower contexts for learning
• create structures, rituals and rouEnes that children can aUach to and orient by, which in turn will facilitate the learning
• provide some ‘grounding connec.on’ (eg, in sight, in sound, in contact) while engaging the child in learning in order to put to rest interference from alarm and agitaEon
First and foremost, culBvate STUDENT-TEACHER RELATIONSHIPS
Engage in learning through PLAY
PLATO – “Do not keep children to their studies by compulsion but by play”
• use a playful gesture or voice (eg, singing, silly voice) to camouflage coercion when orchestraEng behaviour or when student is ‘out of line’ • inject a dose of play or playfulness into acEviEes that feel coercive, trigger alarm, are experienced as pressure, or are too much like work
• create playful acEviEes (eg, games, rituals, rouEnes) to open up the student to new informaEon & to pracEce the skills involved in learning
• remember that when aUenEon becomes playful, aUenEon problems resolve and learning just happens (curiosity = aUenEon at play)
• preserve a learning environment by giving primal emoEons & insEncts plenty of room to play (ie, generous access to emoEonal playgrounds)
When primal emo$ons and ins$ncts can express themselves through play, trouble is averted, rela$onships are preserved, development is fostered, and well-being is realized (eg, frustra$on, alarm, pursuit, sadness, caring, alpha, counterwill, detachment)
School-Based Practice – developing the vertical dimension
CROSS-AGE STUDENT RELATIONSHIPS
STUDENT-TEACHER RELATIONSHIPS CASCADING CARE RELATIONSHIPS
WHERE emotions like to PLAY
Embed in CASCADING CARE
• our aim should be to shield students at risk by fostering an aUachment with a safe caring adult who is willing to serve that role
• matchmake by presenEng one as the ANSWER to the other
• use playful acEviEes to matchmake students to teachers and across the grades and the ages
• our aim should also be to matchmake students hierarchically so that every student experiences being both cared for and in charge of taking care of
• matchmake the more mature students with those in need, to serve as HOME BASE as needed
• uElize the ‘house system’ if possible, to foster cascading care across the grades and ages
Assume a caring alpha lead in order to ...
1. INSPIRE the DEPENDENCE necessary in order to fulfill one’s responsibiliEes and to foster healthy development
2. Render students RECEPTIVE to your instrucEon and MOTIVATED to be good for you, thus OPTIMIZING their learning as well as their behaviour
3. Possess the POWER to SCRIPT the behaviour of the immature
4. Serve as the ATTACHMENT IN COMMON in one’s class in order to keep children from revolving around each other and maUering too much to each other
5. FuncEon as a SHIELDING aUachment as needed (for wounding that may come from others including peers, siblings, parents or other adults)
6. Bring the followers of charismaEc ALPHA STUDENTS under your control and influence
Mastring te Lead in te dance of atachment
• assume the posture and demeanor of the ALPHA in charge, concealing one’s own needs and insecuriEes
• perceive the student(s) as being IN NEED of you, as an ANSWER to their aUachment needs
• INVITE dependence and make it SAFE to depend
• convey CARING and find a way to get the message across that you will take care of them
• be GENEROUS - providing more than is pursued
• seize the lead by ANTIPICATING ‘demands’ and gekng there first
• READ the needs & take the lead (don’t ask too many quesEons)
• WIN the alpha baUles you can, but avoid the rest
• invite the INEVITABLE to preserve one’s alpha and convey that the relaEonship can take the weight
• ARRANGE scenarios where there is no choice but to depend upon you
Cultivate a Culture of Connection
• collect the EYES, some nods and some smiles
• if the eyes cannot or should not be collected, collect the EARS instead
• use PLAY as a primer for aMachment as well as to circumvent shyness
- COLLECT - to engage aRachment insBncts
- BRIDGE - anything that could divide
• bridge ALL separa$on, problem behaviour, and insecuri$es
• bridge PROACTIVELY when needed
• use PLAY to vent emo$ons that threaten connec$on & to circumvent counterwill
- MATCHMAKE - to create a village of working aRachments
• use EXISTING aMachments to create new aMachments • ENDEAR dependents to those responsible for them and vice versa • use PLAY (eg, dance, music, stories) to knit together the genera$ons
Retreat to Relationship & Play to assist increasingly distressed teachers
EmoBons are NOT at work, so the inhibiBon of feelings is reversed
Play is safe so feelings won’t get hurt
EmoBons are freer to move and so more likely to be felt and idenBfied
EmoBons are easier to feel when one step removed from real life Words or their lack, do not get in the way
Emotional play lessens the load & enables feelings to bounce back
