Winter 2021 by Just Between Us

Rest

Your Soul

by Ginger Harrington

YOU CAN HAVE A CONFLICT-FREE HOLIDAY

Y es

Finding Your

by Christine Wagoner

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BE LED BY GOD’S WORD— NOT YOUR EMOTIONS A SEASON FOR GRATITUDE KAY WARREN OFFERS HELP TO PARENTS OF KIDS STRUGGLING WITH SUICIDE

MORE AT JUSTBETWEENUS.ORG

welcome from the editor SHELLY ESSER

Hello Friends! It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year! Or so we’re told once the Christmas classics roll out. It is certainly wonderful to look forward to the family traditions and special foods that delight and indulge our senses, the lights and tinsel that make everything look so magical, and the joy of being with loved ones both near and far. I know I look forward to this time of year! But the most wonderful thing doesn’t come from the perfect gift or perfectly decorated home and tree. No, it’s so much grander than that! The most wonderful thing comes with the incredible reality that the God of the universe left the comforts of His heavenly home to take on human form for you and me. What greater love and sacrifice could anyone demonstrate? To think about how much God loves us should cause our hearts to soar with gratitude (another season we celebrate in this issue!). Let this truth sink in…the shadow of the cross was always hanging over the cradle of the King! We hope all of you—those of you who have been with us for a while and those of you who are new to the JBU family—will see your Lord and Savior as you open up this issue! He is waiting for you and wants to love and encourage you through the words, Scripture, quotes, beautiful design, and every hand-picked and prayedover article with you in mind. May you see reflections of His great love for you sprinkled throughout the issue as you realize just how personal He is. However, we recognize that for some of you this time of year is anything but wonderful. You may have lost a loved one and you’re processing fresh grief, or there has been a season of a crushing medical diagnosis,

unemployment, a wayward child, or disappointments. It’s right into these griefs that God sent His Son—the suffering Savior so you wouldn’t have to walk through your pain alone. He is the God who comes low and finds us in our pain. It’s our prayer that God will pour just what you need into your heart. No matter what season you’re in, He’s waiting to give your soul a big hug! If there’s anyone who can relate to less than wonderful circumstances it’s Joni Eareckson Tada, one of the great Christian women of our time. You won’t want to miss her interview “Courageous Joy” found on page 18. To give you a taste: “I would rather be in this wheelchair knowing God as I do, than to be on my feet without Him.” Here are other highlights in this issue. To get you ready for the “most wonderful time of the year,” see Susan Vernick’s article on page 22 “Etiquette for Conflict-Free Holiday Visits.” Her tips will go a long way in helping you enjoy your guests throughout the season. And finally, we end the issue on page 38 with how we began with our word for the year: flourishing. We hope you will take some time out before the new year and reflect on all God has done to help you become a flourisher. I know it has been quite a journey for me. We are created to flourish! So, pull up a comfy chair with your favorite hot drink under the twinkling lights and reflect on the most wonderful gift of all—Jesus your Lord and King! Holiday Blessings from the JBU Team!

contents

VOLUME 32

NO. 1

on the cover 12 Growing Through Your Yes Don’t miss the adventures that will change your life. by Christine E. Wagoner

14 Rest Your Soul

Discover what real spiritual rest looks like and how to get it. by Ginger Harrington

od’s Word Versus Emotions 16 GKeep your emotions in check by letting the truth of God’s Word anchor your heart. by Laura Sandretti

22 Etiquette for Conflict-Free Holiday Visits

With a few simple ideas you can ensure that

your visits with family this season are blessings instead of burdens. by Susan A. Vernick

Season of Gratitude 28 ACreative and inspiring ideas to practice through the holidays by a variety of women in all stages of life. compiled by Ann Cook

is Always Hope 34 TKayhere Warren knows what it’s like to lose a child

features 24 Who Calls You Friend?

Be ready for the encounters God has for you with people from cultures and experiences that are different from yours. by Shelly McClanahan

It Is What It Is 26

How God is using one woman’s unfathomable trial with purpose. by Lori Ann Wood

You Musn’t Mind 30

The cost of sacrifice isn’t always easy, but knowing Jesus understands makes it easier. by Jill Briscoe

Post-Pandemic Re-entry 32

How’s re-entry gone for you so far? This is an opportunity for a fresh start. Take some time to look back so you can move forward. by Lisa Elliott

Free to Flourish 38

You are meant to live a vibrant and thriving life. by Shelly Esser

faith chats 18 Courageous Joy

J oni Eareckson Tada would rather be in a wheelchair knowing God as she does, than to be on her feet without Him. by Suzan Braun

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to suicide. She offers hope to parents of kids struggling with mental illness. by Kay Warren

WINTER 2021

38 CREDITS Founder/Executive Editor Jill Briscoe

Circulation Manager Suzan Braun

Editor Shelly Esser

Administrative Specialist Sharon Vaught

General Manager Mary Perso

Renewals & Software Support Specialist Rebecca Loesche

Assistant Editor Suzan Braun

Marketing Julie Santiago

Web Director Mary Ann Prasser

Director of Mission Advancement/ Social Media Ashley Schmidt

Editorial Assistants Ann Cook Constance B. Fink Gayle Gengler Betty Hinds Cherry Hoffner Melinda Papador Marilyn Pritchard Jen Symmonds Danae Templeton Susan Vanselow

Subscriptions Phil Perso Mary Richards Jan Schuldt Lin Sebena Photography Wayde Peronto Babboni Photography babbonis.com

Creative Director Julie Krinke

Outside Your 44 Front Door

Intentional Faith

ESS

ASSO

g nin n i d-gwazine r a aw ma O

TIO

N •

EVANGE

40 Living Well 41 Your Story 42 Discovering the Word Strengthening 43 Your Soul

columns Minutes 37 15in the Word

Emily Otwell eckrohn.myportfolio.com

•

in every issue 3 Welcome from the Editor 6 Meet Our Team 7 Between Us 8 Happy Home 9 EncouragingWORDS 10 Heart to Heart Transparent 11 Moments

Advisory Board Anita Carman Pam Farrel Judy Briscoe Golz Nancy Grisham Pam MacRae Elizabeth Murphy Jackie Oesch Stephanie Seefeldt

LICAL PRES

ADVERTISING Ellie Dunn For more information call (856) 582-0690 ext. 2# or email ellie@carldunn.com. SUBSCRIPTIONS Subscription Price: $19.95 per year for four issues. Outside US, add $6 per year prepaid US currency; $5 in Canada. Gift Your Ministries: Group subscriptions are now available at reduced rates. Encourage and inspire the women who make ministry happen at your church or other places of outreach or service to others. Energize their relationships, refresh their faith, and become equipped as a team for facing ministry challenges through JBU. For more information, call 800-260-3342 today! Just Between Us (ISSN 1069-3459) is published quarterly by Just Between Us, 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045-3701. Make all checks and money orders payable to: Just Between Us, Subscription Orders 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045 To order by phone, or for more information: call 800-260-3342. From Canada call (262) 786-6478. Email: jbu@justbetweenus.org Website: www.justbetweenus.org Periodical Postage Paid at Brookfield, WI and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: Just Between Us, 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045.

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call toll-free 800-260-3342 or visit our website justbetweenus.org From Canada call 262-786-6478

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for subscriptions

Just Between Us is a member publication of the Evangelical Press Association.

meet our

team JILL BRISCOE Founder

MARY ANN PRASSER Web Director

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SHELLY ESSER Editor

ASHLEY SCHMIDT

Director of Mission Advancement/Social Media

MARY PERSO General Manager

REBECCA LOESCHE Renewals & Software Support Specialist

SUZAN BRAUN

Circulation Manager & Assistant Editor

SHARON VAUGHT Administrative Specialist

JULIE KRINKE Creative Director

About

Creative Ways

Double Your Gift

Just Between Us is a vibrant and expanding not-for-profit ministry that continues to transform the lives of women around the world. Our heart-focused and biblically-based content in the print magazine, on the website, in the weekly digital mini-magazine, on social media, and other products—all help women find hope and encouragement while growing their faith and deepening their love for Jesus.

Readers continually tell us how they use the magazine when they get it. Here are some ideas to bless the women in your life: a short Bible study is included in every issue that can be used personally or for small groups; start a “Magazine Club” and gather your girlfriends to discuss the issue; be a “ministry on wheels” by passing the issue onto someone who needs it after you’re done with it; and when you renew your subscription next time, gift a subscription to a friend. The ideas are endless. We’d love to hear yours!

For over 30 years, the Lord has been using Just Between Us to reach women when they need it most. You are part of this story. Now we have an opportunity to make an even bigger impact for these women!

OUR MINISTRY

Our Just Between Us team is made up of incredible women with hearts to see you flourish in every area of your life, especially in your life of faith. They bring their collective gifts to make sure you don’t feel alone and that you are continually encouraged, so you can grow closer to Jesus and make an impact in His world.

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Today through December 31, 2021, your donation will be matched and have double the impact! To learn more or to give and DOUBLE your impact, go to justbetweenus.org/friends.

BETWEEN US

How Do I Get Through the Next 86,400 Seconds?

Lysa TerKeurst

want healing to be as neat and predictable as a checklist. I don’t want to be inconvenienced by it, and I most certainly don’t want to be caught off guard by the emotions that can go along with it.

If you’ve ever had to heal from having your heart broken, you know you can’t schedule healing. You can’t hurry it up. And you can’t control how and when it will want to be tended to. Part of what makes healing so hard is the deep ache left behind after the trauma. Loss envelops us with an aching grief that comes in unpredictable waves. It’s hard to know if you’re getting better when a string of good days suddenly gives way to an unexpected emotional crash. You feel angrier than ever over the unfairness of it all. The wounds seem raw, confusing, and unhealed. You just wish someone would please tell you how you’re supposed to make it through all 86,400 seconds of this day in the midst of so much pain. I understand all these feelings. I know how incredibly difficult it can be to function amid daily life when you’re wondering if your heart will ever feel whole again. Like when I laid my head down on the banana display in the grocery store during one of the most devastating seasons of my life. I was just standing there with an empty cart, a heart full of pain, and my face pressed into the display. The worker saw me and couldn’t figure out what I was doing. I guess he assumed my concern was about the choices of fruit before me. He asked, “Can I help you?” I turned my face toward him. Tears flooded out. And all I could think to say was, “I need a tissue.” Lovely. Nothing makes a day complete quite like a breakdown in front of an underpaid fruit attendant at the grocery store.

When we love deeply, we hurt deeply. This is why we must learn how to trust the process of healing. We must let it ebb and flow around, in, and through us. We must grant it access to our heart. And when we start to see healing as unfolding layers of unexpected strength and richly revealed wisdom, it doesn’t feel so unfair. It starts to feel like a secret wisdom God is whispering into the depth of our soul. Then one day we suddenly realize the future feels stunningly appealing. Not because circumstances have changed but because we have embraced reality, released control, and found this healed version of ourselves is what we’d been looking for all along. Our God is a God of restoration. And all that aching within you is proof there’s a beautiful remaking in process. Don’t give up. God loves you. You are not alone. Healing is possible. “The God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast” (1 Pet. 5:10). Gain healthier ways to process your pain and learn to see your situations through truth-based perspectives with Lysa’s new devotional, Seeing Beautiful Again: 50 Devotions to Find Redemption in Every Part of Your Story. Order your copy today at seeingbeautifulagain.com.

Lysa TerKeurst is a #1 New York Times bestselling

LysaTerKeurst.com LysaTerKeurst Lysa TerKeurst

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author and president of Proverbs 31 Ministries. Her book, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget, will help you discover what the Bible really says about forgiveness and the peace that comes from living it out right now. Find out more at ForgivingWhatYouCantForget.com. Lysa lives with her family in North Carolina.

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But I’ve discovered those days don’t have to be setbacks. They can be evidence we’re moving through the hardest parts of healing. The new tears over old wounds are proof we’re tending to our emotions. We’re processing the grief. We’re wrestling well with the ache in our soul.

Feeling the pain is the first step toward healing the pain. And all those emotions that keep bubbling up and unexpectedly spilling out? They’re evidence you aren’t dead inside. There’s life under the surface. And while feelings shouldn’t be dictators of how we live, they are great indicators of what still needs to be worked through.

HAPPY HOME

I Would Be Happy If…

Arlene Pellicane

hen my daughter Lucy was three years old, she dreamt of going to Disneyland. We told her we would be visiting Mickey and Minnie Mouse soon. Of course, she did not want to delay one second! “Are we going today?” she asked with great excitement. “No, we are going next week,” I replied. Every morning that week, Lucy would wake up and immediately ask, “Is today tomorrow?” I laughed and told her, “No, today is not tomorrow yet.” The day finally arrived. When Lucy asked her question, I replied with joy, “Yes! Today is tomorrow!” In the same way my three-year-old wanted to experience the fun of tomorrow right now, we as wives sometimes dream wistfully of tomorrow. Tomorrow we’ll have more money. Tomorrow he’ll be more romantic. Tomorrow life will be easier. Somehow, we think something magical may happen to change our circumstance tomorrow. Have you ever thought, “I would be happy if…”? Think about Eve, the first wife. She had a perfect husband, and yet when Satan tempted her, she fell for it. She thought she would be happier if… If Eve teaches us what trouble happens when we say “I would be happy if…” maybe Abigail teaches us what good happens when we say “I am happy even though…” Abigail was married to a very wicked man. The Bible tells Abigail’s story in 1 Samuel 25.

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Abigail’s name meant “my father rejoiced” while her husband Nabal’s name meant “fool.” Not exactly a match made in heaven. But something was about to happen to test Abigail. How she would respond on just one day would affect all her tomorrows.

Abigail’s husband was holding a grand feast for his sheepshearers. David and his men, while hiding out from Saul, had protected Nabal’s shepherds from the Philistines in the wilderness. Hearing of the great bounty and thinking of his hungry men, David sent ten messengers to inquire if they could have food leftover from the feast.

Nabal in his foolishness not only declined the request, he insulted the messengers. “Who is this David? Why should I take my bread and water and give it to men coming from who knows where?” Nabal roared. David was enraged and prepared 400 men for battle to destroy Nabal’s household. Meanwhile, one of Nabal’s servants told Abigail all that had transpired. She sent her servants to intercept David with gifts of loaves, wine, sheep, corn, raisins, and figs to appease him. She took action—riding a donkey into a mountain ravine as David and his men descended upon her. She bowed down before David, apologizing for her husband’s foolishness, and acknowledging David’s future kingship. Because of her wisdom, David accepted her apology. There was no blood spilt. Abigail had saved her household and David’s reputation. She understood that if she kept doing the right thing today, her tomorrows would work out. She took responsibility, not only for her own actions but for the foolish actions of her husband. What you experience tomorrow has a lot to do with what you do today. When you take responsibility for your own life, you possess hope for change. You’re not a victim of someone else’s shortcomings. Abigail told Nabal about her encounter with David. About ten days later, God struck Nabal, and he died. David then asked Abigail to be his wife. She simply walked in wisdom each day, and God in His sovereignty secured this bright future. That’s quite a love story. It turns out happily ever after can happen in the real world…and it all starts with what you do today.

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker, the host of the Happy

Home podcast, and author of several books including: Screen Kids, Parents Rising, and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. Arlene has been featured on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Wall Street Journal, FamilyLife Today, and Focus on the Family. She lives in San Diego, Calif., with her husband James and their three children.

arlenepellicane.com ArlenePellicaneAuthor ArlenePellicane ArlenePellicane

F T

encouraging WORDS

“W en our lives are flled with peace, a h f ith and, Y OJ people want to n k ow what we have.” David Jeremiah

ou “Y make n k own to me the path of life; in your presence there is u f llness of ; Y OJ at your right hand are pleasures o f revermore.” Psalm 16:11

Y O is “J not necessarily the absence of suuering. It is the presence of o G ” .d Sam Storms

[o j i] * noun

gladness not based on circumstances “My JOY can only be stolen if I let it.” LysaTerKut

“Start the day with a grateful heart and you get a day with a JOYful heart.” AnVoskamp

RobertLuisSvn

“The JOY of the LORD is your strength.”

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Nehmia8:10

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“Find out where JOY resides, and give it a voice far beyond singing. For to miss JOY is to miss all. ”

HEART TO HEART

An Apple Orchard Lesson

Joni Eareckson Tada

y Uncle Don tends an apple orchard in the hills of western Maryland. The last time I visited him was in the spring of 1967 during grafting time. My help was needed. My uncle would run his hand over the bark of an apple tree to find the right place to peel it away. He’d reach into his pocket, open his razor-sharp knife, and make a deep, slanting cut into the heart of the wood. He’d then angle-cut a twig and push the graft deep into the damp, fresh wedge in the tree, edge to edge. Weeks later, new life would emerge: blossoms to bud to fruit—an abundance of apples. Psalm 92:13 describes this prize-winning fruit, “Planted in the house of the LORD, [the righteous] will flourish in the courts of our God.” To flourish is to enjoy an abundance of fruit in your life. It will only happen through a wounding—a pruning, slicing, or cutting. I should know. The spring of 1967 when I visited the orchard was only weeks before I broke my neck in a diving accident. It was a terrible wounding, but looking back, God wanted my heart and soul, root, bud, and branch, blossom, sun, rain, and soil. At first, I wondered, “God, what are you doing?!” I would soon learn that God grafts those He loves, especially if He wants them to bear an abundance of fruit.

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Years later I would see myself in the words of John Bunyan, “Growth in Christ is not the smooth, easygoing process some men seem to think .... It is wounding work, this cutting and breaking of the hearts. But without wounding there is no saving.... Where there is grafting of something lesser into the greater, there will always be a cutting, for the graft must be let in with a wound. To stick it onto the outside or to tie it on with a string would be of no use. Heart must be set to heart and edge to edge, or there will be no life; no sap from root to branch to bud and flower to fruit. And this, I say, must be done by a wound.”

So many things in my life seem to be accomplished through a wound. Not long ago, I could not sleep, as I was struggling at 2:00 a.m. with chronic pain. Out of nowhere, Uncle Don’s apple orchard came to mind. Lying there, I envisioned the metaphor in John 15:1-2 where Jesus says, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener…. every branch that does bear fruit he

prunes, so that it will be even more fruitful…. Remain in me, and I will remain in you.” I did just that, and by 3:00 a.m. my panic had eased, and I was asleep. Consider this your apple orchard lesson for the day. If you are struggling through a painful trial, allow God to set your heart against the wounded heart of Christ, pushing you deeper into the breast of Jesus. He’s the vine; you are a branch. It is a constant abiding. It is you, painfully grafted into the branch of the Lord. Charles Spurgeon sums it up, saying, “It is a mark of great grace to be able to comply in tribulation; to be able to welcome it and say, ‘Oh, the Lord is elevating me to the upper class in His school—to teach me some deeper truths that I have not yet learned…to work in my heart some new grace which has never been there before!’”

“He’s the vine; you are a branch. It is a constant abiding.”

Do not be the rigid twig that stiffens against the sharp edge of suffering’s knife. It may feel painful but lean into it. Abide. Be wedged against Christ, heartto-heart. For you are no longer His acquaintance, but His most prized of disciples. And when an abundance of fruit—love, joy, peace, gentleness, and kindness— finally sweetens your suffering, you can thank your wise and skilled Vinedresser.

Joni Eareckson Tada is an esteemed Christian

author, artist, and a respected global leader in disability ministry and advocacy. Although a 1967 diving accident left her a quadriplegic, she emerged from rehabilitation with a determination to help others with similar disabilities. Joni serves as CEO of Joni and Friends, a Christian organization which promotes support services for thousands of special-needs families around the world. She and her husband, Ken, live in Calabasas, Calif.

joniandfriends.org

% response@joniandfriends.org

TRANSPARENT MOMENTS

When Bad News Becomes Good News

Anita Carman

zra, my three-year-old grandson, was delighted because I had agreed to pick up his favorite food, chips, and queso. As we emptied the bag he asked, “Where’s the queso?” That’s when I realized I had forgotten to order it. The adults in the room simply shrugged and said, “Oh well, no queso today!” I glanced at my grandson and saw pure distress take over his face, followed by the quivering of his lower lip. My son immediately jumped out of his seat and said, “I’ll go melt some cheese and make our own homemade queso!” A smile returned to Ezra’s face. My son’s prompt response illustrated so vividly the heart of our heavenly Father towards His children. The Bible tells us, “Praise the LORD…who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s” (Ps. 103:2, 5). How would life change if we truly believed the heart of our heavenly Father was to satisfy our desires? God wants good things for us and even in suffering He’s producing goodness in our lives. Below is a list of seven gifts I never saw coming, as God transformed what I perceived as bad news into something beautiful in my life. 1. Passion. After my mother’s suicide, God transformed my pain into a passion to build a ministry to help women discover God’s purpose and to serve at their potential in missions and ministry. Though at the time I felt like my mother’s voice had been silenced, God’s voice rose through her daughter to empower the voices of thousands of daughters.

6. Friendships. When finances created stress, God showed me my greatest asset was the friend(s) who walked with me through each season. Being in the trenches together marked our friendship and gave us “battle” stories to tell. The end destination was never in reaching a financial goal: it was always in the journey God designed for us to take with each other. 7. Living Urgently. The older I get, the more the Holy Spirit shows me that with age comes less distraction and a choice to live urgently. Our creativity, combined with our earned influence over time, places us in the perfect position to leave more of God’s fingerprints on this earth. In God’s economy, what first appears bad can be transformed into good for His greater purpose. Don’t miss your blessing!

Anita Carman arrived in America at 17, after her

mother’s tragic suicide. Today, she is a walking billboard of how God transformed her pain into passion to build Inspire Women, a non-profit that unites thousands of women of all races and invests in their potential to change the world. She has an MBA from SUNY and an MABS from Dallas Theological Seminary. Anita has authored several books and lives in Houston, Tex., with her husband. She has two grown sons. Visit her at inspirewomen.org

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3. Opportunities. When my house flooded, God used the situation to rally the neighbors to build a new road that blessed the whole community. What showed up in my life as a big nuisance turned out to be God’s instrument to reach people I would never have known otherwise.

5. Letting Go. When God took my spiritual mom home, He had already prepared someone else to walk with me. The new person had a different set of experiences that were necessary to take me into the next phase of the ministry. As much as I wanted to cling to the same relationship, I was clinging to what was temporary. Letting go freed me to continue with God to build something with eternal significance.

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2. More Life. When I left an established organization to start Inspire Women, what felt like part of my heart had been ripped out of my body was God’s way to give me more in life, not less. Although it felt safer to stay where I was, God’s call drew me into unknown territory to show me a world of His imagination and not my own.

4. Crosses. God used my son’s asthma to grow him into a leader who was trained to overcome obstacles in his life. Once I cried out, “Why my son?” Now I say, “Why not my son?” God gets to decide the worship He desires from each of us through the crosses He chooses for us to carry.

s e Y GROWING THROUGH YOUR

Don’t miss the God adventures that will change your life.

by Christine E. Wagoner

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T 12

eddi and her family piled into their SUV, left the suburbs, and ventured 45 minutes toward the city’s downtown district. They’d planned a family fun night, cheering on the local baseball team. Teddi’s family arrived downtown and snagged a parking spot in a nearby gravel lot. As they hustled from the parking lot to the game, they passed several homeless people holding signs. One sign captured Teddi’s eye. It read, “Do you have a sandwich?” She had never seen a sign with such a specific request. Teddi entered the baseball park and saw a crowd full of families like hers, rolling coolers filled with snacks, beverages, and sandwiches.

While baseballs were pitched and the crowd cheered, Teddi continued thinking about this sign. All he wants is someone’s extra peanut butter and jelly sandwich. We can do that. That seems easy. Once the kids are out of school for the summer, we could pack sandwiches and bring them to people who are hungry.

Teddi attempted to be present with her family that evening, but her thoughts kept moving toward this mission, which I will refer to as “Operation PB&J.” She could sense her excitement building. After the outing, Teddi discussed her PB&J idea with her husband. He thought it was too dangerous for his wife and three children to go downtown and interact with this population. “Yep, you’re right. What was I thinking?” Teddi agreed. She decided not to pursue it. Instead, she resumed her summer plans of vacation Bible school, kids’ sports teams, and days at the pool.

Months later, Teddi read Just Courage by Gary Haugen, president of International Justice Mission. The book encouraged her to embody courage instead of fear when pursuing God and opportunities He may provide. The memory of the sandwich sign flooded her heart again.

God had been leading Teddi’s husband on his own journey during this time, including a mission trip to Honduras. God softened his heart toward the world around him. When Teddi approached him with the idea a second time, he was ready. Before long, the family had packed dozens of sack lunches. As Teddi prayed and listened to God, she sensed a clear vision from Him to go to a downtown park across from the central library. Teddi loaded up her SUV with kids and sandwiches. “I never had such butterflies as the first day we did this. I didn’t feel unsafe, but I was concerned how the people we served would receive this. What if it didn’t mean anything to them?” On her first couple of trips to the park, the homeless people didn’t really care. While they took the sandwiches, there was little communication. Was this a bad idea? Teddi thought. Teddi and her kids showed up every Tuesday morning at 11:30 with sandwiches, week after week. Trust built between Teddi and the homeless community at the park. She shared this story: “The sweetest man showed up every week. I never asked about his past, but I knew he had been in prison for twenty years. He was kind. We took his laundry home and washed it. We brought him detergent the next time so he could do his own laundry too. We built a friendship with him.” Teddi grew tremendously in this yes to God. She grew in her dependence on God to take this risk and step out of her comfort zone. She grew in prayer as she prayed for God to work through her and her kids as they handed out PB&J sandwiches. Teddi grew in her love for this marginalized, homeless population at the park. “I never knew I could receive so much joy from making and serving sandwiches. I literally felt the breath of God on my neck. That’s how close I felt to His Spirit when we were with our friends at the park,” Teddi maintained. Teddi couldn’t keep this amazing blessing to herself. She began inviting other moms and their children to join her. More sandwiches were made, and more people experienced blessing in the receiving and giving. Eventually, her church caught wind of what they were doing and offered to make the sandwiches by enlisting help from even more families. It became a community of yes.

Eventually, the time came when Teddi felt God’s invitation to say no to this particular ministry, at least for a season. She needed to trust that God would continue to minister to her friends in the park. As Teddi wrestled with letting go, she began to understand why God had drawn her to the park in the first place. Teddi did not expect profound intimacy with Christ to grow in her through this yes. This is what happens, however, when we partner with Jesus. The real longing inside of Teddi was to extend love and dignity to people in the margins because she knew firsthand what it was like to be there. At eighteen years old she’d found herself unexpectedly pregnant, unmarried, and receiving loads of judgment from others. At eighteen, it would have been nice to have more people extend kindness and grace. As Teddi reflected on her time at the park, she realized the significance of her life story and the importance of this yes God had uniquely given her. Perhaps healing and redemption can take place through something as simple as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

As we find a yes, God grows our character and the invitation to expand our own selves. As we find a yes, God grows our character and the invitation to expand beyond our own selves. He allows others the opportunity to get in on the joy of this journey too. What I have discovered is that it’s easy to miss these rich growth opportunities if I’m not intentional to slow down and pay attention to what the Spirit is doing… and saying… in the midst of the activity. God wired us to have meaningful connection with Him and with others. Our yes may very well be a conduit to these connections. Let’s not miss the abundance God has for us on the adventure—and for those we journey alongside.

Christine E. Wagoner is an associate

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regional director with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, where she directed their national women’s leadership development program. She received her master of arts in counseling ministries from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. Christine is married to Kurt and lives in Indianapolis, Ind.

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For seven years on every Tuesday at 11:30 a.m., Teddi anchored her yes in Christ, continued to be obedient, and brought others with her on the journey. It wasn’t always easy. Others told her she only perpetuated the “bad behavior” of this population, and she should leave the park. Teddi reflected, “In the midst of my anger, I remembered truth from Scripture. God calls us to be

different. When we are different, we are countercultural, and it is not always well received,” Teddi said.

Rest

Your Soul

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The alarm buzzes me awake long before I’m ready to rise. Getting out of bed, I do a Zombie walk to the bathroom. Before I’ve gotten dressed, I worry about a family member’s health, a friend’s grief, and meeting a big goal at work. “Where is the line between concern, worry, and faith?” I ask the Lord as I finish getting ready for the day. The weight of worry makes me feel heavy and tired.

We all need times to rest our souls. Spiritual rest can be easy to overlook until we face the burnout of mental, emotional, or physical exhaustion. Before we know it worry, anxiety, anger, frustration, bitterness, unforgiveness, and stress burden our souls and bodies. A rest routine is needed to keep our bodies, souls, and spirits healthy and happy. Different from self-care, soul care restores our spirit, empowering us to experience peace and perseverance when we face challenges—a rest from the pressures. Do you need to find ways to lighten the load of worries and concerns? What is spiritual rest and why is it important?

Understanding spiritual rest and how to get it. by Ginger Harrington Spiritual Rest Versus Self-Care

Practicing spiritual rest or soul rest, helps us bear the weight of life’s challenges. When I’m weary, I often default to self-care rather than making time for soul care. These two concepts often overlap. Self-care has to do with caring for our physical, mental, and emotional needs. Soul care happens when we trust Christ with our needs, relying on His presence and help to sustain us. Here are a few self-care responses I gravitate to: • “I need to get more sleep.” • “If I eat healthier, I’ll have more energy.” • “Lunch with the girls is what I need.” • “I can’t wait to chill out and watch my show on Netflix.” Self-care is necessary and important, but it doesn’t always meet the need of soul care. Soul care brings mental, emotional, and spiritual rest, which is different from physical rest.

What Does the Bible Say About Spiritual Rest?

Eugene Peterson interpreted Matt. 11:28-30 this way: “Come to me, get away with me, and you’ll recover your life.” Soul rest has to do with recovering life and vitality that only comes through Christ.

Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

It’s the shift of our attention to rest in the Lord and to release our burden to the Lord. Soul rest happens as we depend on Jesus to help, teach, and guide us—walking and working together.

Often, we approach this verse to find relief from our burdens. However, Jesus invites us to something much deeper than just feeling better; He wants us to live better. To live and work connected to Christ is the way to a restored soul.

There are many ways to experience spiritual rest. Consider these ideas:

The Bible mentions rest 548 times. Jesus, our God with skin on, understands both the physical and soul needs for rest. One of my favorite passages is Matt. 11:28-30:

Spiritual rest is the rest of faith, and Jesus offers to help us carry the burdens of this life.

Three Actions of Spiritual Rest

To drill down to the core message of Matt. 11:28-30, we find these three actions: • Come to Jesus. • Take His yoke. • Learn from Jesus. This way of living is not a quick-fix solution to our troubles. Rather, Jesus invites us into a life of companionship where we walk and work with Him moment by moment. We find spiritual rest when we remember His presence and rely on His resources. We make choices to trust His experience, provision, and leadership. Every choice to believe, abide, surrender, and trust creates moments of soul rest from the burdens of strife, worry, comparison, frustration, and so many other mental and emotional challenges.

Learning from Jesus Helps Us Experience Rest

One day as I was meditating on this passage, the Lord dropped a question in my mind, “Whose yoke are you carrying?” This simple question began to relieve the emotional weariness I felt. It was an aha moment of clarity. I was weary and discouraged by trying to carry the burden of things that really weren’t mine to carry. I realized I was carrying the burden of outcomes beyond my control. I needed to trust Jesus because He can bear the responsibility of the outcomes. I did a soul check: what are the things that aren’t mine to carry that I need to entrust to the Lord? What burdens do you carry? Are you carrying them with Christ or trying to shoulder them on your own?

2. Trust God with your friends and family. We need to trust the Lord with our loved ones because God is faithful and working in their lives. How much of our weariness comes down to the fact that we’re not trusting God? 3. Discover the freedom of forgiveness. Harboring offenses is one of the heaviest burdens we can carry. Forgiveness turns the situation and the offender over to God. When we forgive, we lighten our load and take care of our soul. 4. Pray when you feel weary and burdened. “Lord, what do You want me to know about this burden? Help me to turn this problem over to You.” 5. Trust the outcome of your efforts in God’s capable hands. He can relieve us of the weight of worry. God didn’t intend for us to face our problems alone. Trust doesn’t mean that Jesus will give you the perfect answer in the moment or solve your problems in a snap. It does mean He’s with you in the moment and you’re working together—yoked together. Spiritual rest comes as we depend on Christ. Letting go of the weight of worry, you can trust Him with the outcome in your situation, even if the outcome isn’t the one that you envisioned. This adapted article first appeared on https://gingerharrington.com/ what-is-spiritual-rest-and-why-do-we-need-it/.

Ginger Harrington is author of Holy in the Moment and publishing director for a military nonprofit. Additionally, she equips women to thrive in a deeper life with God. Connect with Ginger to get your free guide to overcome negative thinking and other resources at GingerHarrington.com. SCAN ME

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Depending on Christ involves trusting Him with the work, process, and outcome. It is the choice to trust Him with the moment, even when the moment looks messy.

1. Ask God to examine your heart and then confess any sin that He reveals. Keep a short account with God, responding when the Holy Spirit convicts you.

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Identify the Burdens that Weary Your Soul

Practical Ways to Find Rest for Your Soul

God’s Word Versus Emotions Fall in love with God’s Word and watch His truth anchor your heart. by Laura Sandretti

I had a pit in my stomach yesterday. The details of my dilemma are too raw and personal to share, but most of us have been there—a health scare, a hurting child, an ongoing marital issue, or worse. We continue smiling, working, and going through the motions, but there is a pervasive something in our soul that feels… Heavy, unsettled, and afraid.

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I am mentoring a young woman right now who loves the Lord. She has experienced Him powerfully through worship, sermons, and prayer. She admitted, though, that when it comes to God’s Word, she struggles to read it. Like me at times, she finds it confusing, irrelevant, and dry. Unlike me, she is young. She has not suffered miscarriages, watched her child wheeled into surgery, or been diagnosed with an illness. She has not had as many opportunities to feel heavy, unsettled, and afraid.

As I have traversed the ups and downs of life, I have been indebted to older, wiser women who have encouraged me to continue reading God’s Word even when it seemed hard to read or irrelevant to my life and problems. I am thankful for mentors who have been in the pit, women who know that when the rug gets pulled out from under us, the Bible provides hope, peace, and the ability to breathe. I am grateful for seasoned sisters

in Christ who have taught me the power that Scripture has over raw, loud, painful emotions when we persist in, pray through, and practice reading God’s Word. Women urging me to read when I do not feel like it or feel that it will help. Therein lies the rub. Feelings are powerful. Emotions can trump reason, logic, and reality. Although God gave us emotions, and they are necessary and helpful at times, they can also distort and even dismantle our faith and hope in Christ. They can overrun our hearts, our minds, and our souls. I agree with the young woman I am mentoring—solid biblical teaching, worship, and prayer are powerful and inspiring. However, if the songs we sing and the sermons we hear are not confirmed, solidified, and strengthened by our individual time spent in the unchanging Word of God, they are incomplete. Why? As I was recently reminded yesterday during my sadness and distress, God’s Word is living and active. It superseded my emotions by somehow speaking directly to them. The Bible provided the personal, pertinent, and poignant Spirit-inspired awareness and answers I needed. His Word meets, reminds, and calms us supernaturally, specifically, and sweetly.

Never give up prayerfully and persistently reading God’s love letter, dear sister. I need to remind, convince, and re-convince myself of God’s truths every day because my emotions are often real, raw, and raucous. If you struggle with the desire to read your Bible, ask God to help you fall in love with His Word.

While you pray and wait, continue reading. Spend time in a book of the Bible you once loved, is familiar, or perhaps you find challenging. The stakes are too high to stop reading the Lord’s powerful Word which sustains all things (Heb. 1:3). I know one day…

Tips for

6. Oust Outcomes. Often when I read the Bible, I’ve

Better Bible Reading 1. Read Repeatedly. A friend told me she wasn’t

reading her Bible because, “it’s too hard to understand.” I suggested she re-read a book of the Bible she had enjoyed or understood in the past. She said she loved Philippians, so she started there. Because she was in a different place in her life, with different issues and relationships, Paul’s small letter illuminated new insights and glimpses of God’s love into my friend’s life. Slowly and prayerfully, re-reading familiar books—like the Gospels, Psalms, and Proverbs—have been some of my sweetest times with the Lord.

2. Pick Up Your Phone. Although I often tell myself

and my children to put down our phones, my Bible app is the one exception. Sometimes when I’m in a hurry, I’ll listen to my Bible app while I’m driving or straightening my hair. Although un-interrupted time reading my physical Bible is always my goal, I’m grateful for creative ways to read Scripture when I’m on the go.

3. Make it a Habit. I have discovered that when I

read my Bible before work, I read more consistently. If I miss that time, God’s Word usually gets lost in the shuffle. Whether you’re an early bird or night owl, prioritize reading your Bible at the same time every day, so it becomes more habitual. Remember that consistency helps us hide God’s Word in our heart for a time when we need it most.

4. Resort to Resources. If you’re new to the Bible,

books like Know Your Bible (Barbour Publishing) and 30 Days to Understanding the Bible (Max Anders), are helpful resources. You can also find countless commentaries and resources online but remember that reading about the Bible can never replace reading the Bible. When I’m confused or struggling with something in Scripture, I pray for a while before consulting outside resources. I want to hear from the Spirit before humans whenever possible.

Your heart, head, and soul will thank you.

noticed a subtle underlying pressure inside myself. It’s a subconscious fear that I’ll miss something important, or that I’ll have to re-read a passage to unearth that important something. “Ousting outcomes” means reading the Bible simply to look for God and His love instead of searching for a silver bullet or great epiphany. When we learn more about God and His incomprehensible love for us, we are left with a sense of profound gratitude that organically transforms us and draws us closer to the Bible and its Author, more and more.

Why I Love the Yearly Bible Reading Plan!

Why did I start the Bible Recap reading plan? It was simple. I wanted to experience God more by reading His Word, and I wanted my knowledge of the One who created me, along with the entire universe, to grow. I also wanted to deepen my love and trust for God. However, I needed a plan that I could stick with and was easy to use. The Bible Recap is a daily reading plan along with a short daily podcast hosted by Tara-Leigh Cobble. She highlights and summarizes the daily chronological Bible reading in a casual, easy-to-understand way. What do I love about this chronological plan? You not only learn more about who God is, but the podcast explains difficult passages in Scripture. And I love reading chronologically, because it shows God’s love and plan for His people—from the Old Testament through the New Testament—in an understandable way. Start any time by going to: http://www.thebiblerecap.com/start. (Available in Spanish and American Sign Language videos.) — Shannon Nykamp Edgerton, Minnesota

Laura Sandretti is a speaker, author, and blogger, and has a master’s degree in Theological Studies from Trinity Evangelical School. Additionally, she has authored two books: Imperfectly Perfect: A Devotional for the Transformed Everyday Sinner and Walking by the Homeless (available on Amazon). Laura and her husband have three children and live in Sussex, Wis. Visit her blog, Everyday Sinner, at laurasandretti.com.

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the Bible—expressly to learn more about God, His love, and His character—it changed everything. The Bible is about God, not us. When we learn more about Him and His incomprehensible love for us, we are left with a sense of profound gratitude that draws us closer to the Bible and its Author, more and more.

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5. Read Your Bible…Better. When I started reading

faith CHATS

JOY CO UR AG EO US

Joni Eareckson Tada stakes her life on God’s promises. by Suzan Braun

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hen Joni Eareckson Tada enters a room, you hardly notice the wheelchair she’s been in for over half her life. It’s her radiant smile and joyful countenance that lights up the room and immediately draws you in.

A diving accident in 1967 left Joni, then a teenager, a quadriplegic. “Whisked off to the hospital, I thought my life was over. Wanting to die, I cried out, “God, if I can’t die, please show me how to live, because I don’t like paralysis; this is not what I bargained for in life!’”

After several years of rehabilitation and a growing faith in Christ, she emerged with a fresh determination to help others. Now an author of 45 books, as well as an accomplished artist and global speaker, Joni advocates for people with disabilities internationally, and her ministry Joni and Friends provides aid to special needs families and training for churches worldwide. God has woven the immense struggles of her life into a beautiful tapestry displaying His grace and power as He continues to impact thousands of lives through her ministry. Joni saturates herself in God’s Word so that peace, joy, and steadfast hope flow from her heart.

“There are 10 words that have set the course for my life: ‘God permits what He hates to accomplish what He loves.’” Joni goes on, “My process is difficult, but affliction isn’t a killjoy; I don’t think you could find a happier follower of Jesus than me. The more my paralysis helps me get disentangled from sin, the more joy bubbles up from within.” Now 72, Joni has lived in her wheelchair for 55 years. Along the way, she has also faced two bouts of cancer, the onset of unrelenting chronic pain, and most recently a very serious battle with COVID-19. “Every morning I feel overwhelmed by pain and the daily-ness of my paralysis,” she says. “I often have not slept the night before and I am cranky. In these moments, I run to Jesus with my empty-handed spiritual poverty and cry out, ‘Oh Jesus, come to my aid. I cannot do this day. I cannot do paralysis. But I can do all things through You as You strengthen me.’ And before my morning routine is completed, I have hard-fought-for joy sent straight from heaven—a solid and settled joy that sees me through the morning and into the evening.” Joni’s gift to us is simply this: She shows us how to embrace suffering and not waste the pain. Her costly discipleship during ongoing hardship can’t be achieved by human efforts, only by divine intervention through surrender to her Savior. After spending just a few minutes with Joni, we rest assured that God’s promises for us are in process, even in the dire circumstances of life when we can’t yet see any evidence of good. Her example of finding joy during the darkest times calls us to walk the path of long obedience with her. And Joni reminds us, “What an encouragement to realize that God has reserved you and me for a special task in His great work.” Just Between Us recently visited with Joni as she shared about what gives her joy and how she desires to glorify God.

JBU: How can you be so joyful after years of suffering? Joni: I haven’t always experienced joy and victory in my suffering! Many times, it’s been a fight to trust God— but as hard as it is, it’s always a good fight. God has many purposes in allowing pain, but one is that pain puts God’s promises to the test. Pain is the great intimidator saying, “Do you believe God’s promises?” When my confidence in God’s promises is tested, I have the privilege of proving the trustworthiness of God.

For instance, when I am in great pain and close to collapsing under the pressure, I run to 2 Cor. 4:8, “We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed.” I say to my pain, “I’m promised that I will not be crushed. And although everything in me screams otherwise, I will stake my life on what God has promised. Pain, by His grace will not crush me. I will persevere.” That verse is but one of God’s thousand promises; if we would remember it alone, we would be well on our way to victory. But if we do collapse under the weight of suffering or fall into a “woe is me” attitude, even that can have purpose—for suffering is like a textbook that teaches us who we really are and what we really believe. And if it’s not pretty? Then you have more reason to cast yourself on the mercy of your Savior, Who can transform the weakest saint into a soldier who will valiantly fight to stay contented in God and His promises.

JBU: How has your trust in God deepened over the years? Joni: Long ago, I accepted the fact that God has hardwired life to be extremely difficult. That view has helped me when it comes to trusting God, because He says in 1 Thess. 3:3 that “no one should be unsettled by these trials, for you know quite well that we are destined for them.” So, I need not be afraid when tough trials come. I’ve learned to choose to believe God when He tells me to embrace trials, “because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (Jas. 1:3-4). I want my life to be complete. I don’t want it to be lacking anything. The key to getting there? Face your trials with courage, trusting in your wise and good God Who does everything for your ultimate happiness. And honestly, really, I am so happy. I would rather be in this wheelchair knowing God as I do, than to be on my feet without Him.

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I would rather be in this wheelchair knowing God as I do, than to be on my feet without Him.

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JBU: Why do classic hymns and music play such a vital role in your life? Joni: Timeless hymns contain rich doctrines of the Christian faith, and so I have made it my goal to memorize as many hymns as possible. I recite the stanzas back to the Lord at night in bed when I am in pain; the words of these hymns become a prayer. For instance, the other night, I was praying, “Jesus, I am resting, resting… in the joy of what Thou art… I am finding out the greatness of Thy loving heart,” and so on. The words of hymns provide such rich vocabulary for worship and for intercession. For instance, “When I survey the wondrous Cross, on which the Prince of glory died, my richest gain I count but loss, and pour contempt on all my pride.”

Joni enjoys a family retreat event sponsored by Joni and Friends in Murietta Hot Springs, California.

Stanzas of hymns are so helpful when I am in so much pain that I cannot even put two sentences together in a prayer because my mind is so foggy. But I can fall back on words of hymns that I know by heart. Hymns provide such a comfort to me in communicating to the Lord Jesus my devotion, my great need for Him and His help, or for the confessing of my sin, or pleading on behalf of another. Classic hymns are the best!

JBU: You have been dealt circumstances that would cause most people to lead a life of despair. Yet you have chosen joy. How? Joni: When I “choose joy,” it’s not like saying, “I really don’t like what’s happening to me, but I’m going to paste a smile on my face any way; I’m going to grin and try to make the best of it.” That is not choosing joy. To choose joy is to choose Jesus, the Lord of joy. When things are happening that I don’t like I say, “Lord, I’m on the verge of discouragement and my spirits are pretty low. I need your help really badly. Please fill my emptiness right now and give me the strength to take steps forward into this difficult situation, trusting that You will eventually give me Your joy as I go.” And then, I simply look for God to well up within me a brighter attitude, a more submissive heart, and a more hopeful outlook. And do you know what? It may take a while, but joy always comes.

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JBU: How can those who suffer with chronic illness find support? Joni: Isaiah 50:10 is such a great verse for people who feel isolated and helpless. The Holy Spirit says, “Let the one who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the LORD and rely on their God.” It is never ‘to no avail’ that we cry out to God. And I mean cry out. God is doing something; He hasn’t forgotten you.

And if you can’t find community, ask God to help you create it. Community happens when we look for ways to serve others, rather than to be served. One woman I know, Lisa Marie, has complex autoimmune disorders that make her highly sensitive to touch, light, and sound. She has lived in a dark room for more than 15 years. Yet she prays for a long list of people and is constantly sending emails with encouraging Scriptures or inspirational articles. If you ask Lisa Marie, she will say

she feels blessed because she has created community by finding people who hurt worse than she does. What an inspiration she is to me!

JBU: What has been your most rewarding experience as a disability activist? Joni: Serving on the National Council on Disability when we helped craft the original Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). I remember being on the White House lawn when President George W. Bush signed the ADA into law in 1990. Afterward, our council hosted a reception during which our director proposed a toast. He said, “This law is great in that it opens career paths for people with disabilities in employment and creates ramps to restaurants and other places. It’s great that one day buses across America will have mechanical lifts.” Then he added, “But this law will not change the employer’s heart, or the heart of the maître ‘d, or the heart of the bus driver.” Then he raised his glass again and said, “Here’s to changed hearts.” That’s when it hit me, that’s God’s job. Our job is to share the Gospel. Access for people with disabilities—whether in places of work or the community—can only happen when people’s hearts are changed. JBU: How can we surrender our lives to God’s will when it’s not what we desired? Joni: I totally resonate with this question. The life I am living is not what I expected or desired—living with total paralysis and chronic pain is no fun. But God knows the many times I have come to Him and asked, “Lord, help me to desire the life you’ve given me; help me to at least like it, if not love it.” Then I just grab anchors from Scripture and simply bolt my life to their weight. If I’m ever going to like things the way they are, it begins with Phil. 2:14, “Do everything without grumbling or complaining.” That’s huge. We read that verse and wonder if that’s even possible! But the Bible thinks it is possible. And so, I strive to do everything without complaining, trusting that my God has ordained the hard things in my life. Another anchor is 1 Thess. 5:18. It’s simple, too. “In everything give thanks” (ASV). We need to make Jesus the center of our universe, and when we do, we will more easily cultivate an attitude of gratitude, and an uncomplaining spirit. Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than that.

To choose joy is to choose Jesus, the Lord of joy. JBU: How do you and Ken maintain a healthy marriage and have fun? Joni: The biggest thing that has contributed to our well-being is reading through the Bible together every year. This is our 15th year of doing this, and we are still discovering new things in every chapter. We also just returned from a trip to the Eastern Sierras. A friend graciously loaned us their cabin on the lake, and I had the best time watching Ken fly cast for fish. For me, fun with my husband is learning about his hobbies, asking questions, and cheering him on. Ken’s a pretty good cook too and we have lots of fun together at the grill, inventing all sorts of ways to grill lamb (our favorite). The bottom line is that we work at encouraging each other. We have made a covenant not to nag, scold, or tarnish the reputation of the other—that alone has built such a solid respect between us. JBU: You’ve accomplished so much for God’s glory in your life. What do you want people to remember about you? Joni: My priority is to finish well—to suffer through hard things well, to honor God in my pain well, and to pass the Gospel message on to others so they can learn to do the same. My life is all about Acts 20:24: “I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.”

Joni’s International Outreach to those Living with Disability Nearly one billion people around the world live with disabilities, many of them in poverty, pain, and despair. Joni and Friends wants to change that. For the past 40 years, it has been their mission to present the hope of the Gospel to people affected by disability through programs and outreaches that impact people worldwide. As founder and president of this ministry, it is Joni’s heart to see a world where every person with a disability finds hope, dignity, and their place in the body of Christ.

JBU: How can we live life well with all the challenges and encourage others to do the same? Joni: Always keep eternity in your crosshairs. Every day, in every situation learn to say to yourself, “What does God think of this? How can my response honor Him?” Because everything we do here on earth, every response to tough challenges either increases or diminishes our eternal estate. Each little drastic obedience increases our eternal capacity to worship, serve, and enjoy God for all of eternity. “Since then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated.… Set your minds on things above” (Col. 3:1-2). Believe me, you don’t want to get to heaven and smack your forehead and think, “Why did I waste my sufferings?” So, start living today as if it were your first day in heaven.

hygiene kits. It’s a wonderful way to demonstrate the love of Jesus, not only with words, but with deeds. We just opened the first Joni’s Houses in El Salvador, Nepal, Uganda, and Thailand. Joni says, “If we want to see God’s power in our churches, we need to celebrate and advocate for those who are marginalized or disabled. Oh, how I long for people to be blessed as they give their time and energy to embrace special needs families!” To find out more about how you can be part of this global movement today, go to joniandfriends.org. — Suzan Braun

Suzan Braun is the circulation manager and assistant editor of Just Between Us magazine and serves as a ministry assistant for global missions at her church. She and her husband live in Wales, Wis., and share life with three adult children, a son and daughter-in-law and three precious grandchildren.

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Joni shared her excitement with JBU about their newest ministry endeavor called Joni’s House: At the beginning of COVID-19 in early 2020, Joni and Friends did an impact study on the needs of families with disability. We quickly saw that people overseas didn’t need wheelchairs, they needed food. They were being pushed off the lowest rung of the socio-economic ladder, and were in desperate need of basic supplies, including medical help. Our ministry went into overdrive and quickly established disability centers in these developing nations, calling them Joni’s House. These are centers of evangelism, discipleship, job skills training, medical advocacy, distribution of food, and

Fifty years from now, if I am remembered at all, I hope it is not for books or radio programs or speaking or even leading a global ministry that serves people with disabilities. I will know I have left a solid legacy if I am remembered for my walk with Jesus Christ—how I honored Him—how I trusted Him in my afflictions—and how God used my gifts to strengthen the kingdom of Christ. These are the things that make for a great legacy. I want people to say, “I would like to face suffering the same way Joni did. I want to believe God’s promises, pray more, complain less, and have a grateful heart.” If that happens, my life will have been a success.

ETIQUETTE FOR

Conflict-Free Holiday Visits

Enjoying the blessing of family and friends. by Susan A. Vernick

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he “over the river and through the woods” … season is here, which means some of us (depending on COVID-19 comfort levels) will be hosting or being a houseguest. Yes, it is the most wonderful time of year, but it can also be the most stressful time of year. So how do you embrace the beauty of the Christmas season without being overwhelmed with traveling and guests? If you or your family and friends are visiting during the season, remember that hospitality is a gift and guests are a blessing. Romans 12:13 says, “Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” So as you

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aim to worship the “Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace” (Is. 9:6), here are some tips to keep joy abounding, love plentiful, and peace abundant!

Plan Ahead. If you have family visiting from out of

town and past experience shows that after (insert number of days) tension starts to run high and patience runs low, then plan ahead. Shorten the visit, so it can actually be sweeter. Also, consider planning outings before the actual visit that allow for both fun and downtime. Be flexible so that both the hostess and visitors enjoy themselves, and certainly don’t dig

your heels into “your idea of fun.” Be open to trying new things, yet keep from pushing something that someone truly dislikes. Apply 1 Pet. 3:8 often, “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.”

Talk About Pets. This part of your visit should be

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Be Flexible. Hold on loosely to daily schedules. As

visitors, do not expect your child’s nap and eating schedule to be as strictly enforced as if at home. As the hostess, provide opportunities for guests to stay as close to their normal schedule as possible. Flexibility is key. Allow for downtime for the elderly and even a quick afternoon nap for all during this busy time of year. Rest is an important part of successful visits. “I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint” (Jer. 31:25).

Plan for Sleeping Arrangements. It’s nice to

have sleeping arrangements planned ahead of time, especially for young children and older visitors. For Grandma or Grandpa, try to avoid having them sleep on the couch, especially if there is a kid’s bed they can use. Have the room stocked with bottled water, some choice books, small daily devotionals, a Bible, and travel necessities—such as a toothbrush, toothpaste, hand lotions, and tissues. Offer extra blankets and pillows and explain where towels, etc. are located. Lastly, do not offer the “master bedroom” to your guests, because they will inevitably feel like they are putting you out, no matter how much you insist they are not.

Come Bearing Gifts. Consider bringing a small,

thoughtful gift for your hostess such as the newest bestselling Christian novel or a handful of the trendiest magazines (Just Between Us, foodie titles, and others). Monogrammed towels, a new-release cookbook, or seasonal candles are also nice options.

Build in Time Apart. As a guest, consider going for

a long drive or other choice activities away from the homestead to give your hostess some time to rest and not entertain. It can be a lovely, refreshing time for all.

Tentatively plan dinners, so that there is some idea of what dinner will look like. Be flexible. Someone may not love lasagna but appreciate that your hostess is cooking for you and planning meals. Consider taking the family to dinner once, even if for a simple pizza night.

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Avoid Tricky Topics. “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out” (Prov. 17:14). If Aunt Lisa tends to lean right and Uncle Tony leans left, then do your best to avoid politics and other hot topics. They should be strictly avoided to keep the conversation (and not the tears) flowing. The goal is to have meaningful, not mean, conversations.

Laugh and Have Fun. Play board/card games, rent

a movie (e.g. I Can Only Imagine, What About Bob?) or watch family home movies, especially if your guests are a part of the production. Make memories and treasure each other and your time together. Spend this precious time connecting, laughing, and making joyous memories. Remember, “a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength” (Prov. 17:22, NLT).

Mind Your Manners. Remember pleasantries

throughout the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season. Words like, “thank you,” “please,” and even, “I am sorry” go a long way in keeping everyone jolly and ho-ho-hoing!

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Let the hot chocolate and eggnog flow, and enjoy the season of hospitality by embracing these simple tips that will make each visit a memorable and joyful one. Thanking God for the blessing of family and friends is truly one of the most beautiful gifts of the season, second only to the gift of our glorious Savior, Jesus Christ.

Susan A. Vernick is a newspaper columnist, national blogger, and published freelance writer. She is also the author of two children’s books, The Gift Box and Danny’s Special Collection, and founder and owner of Etiquette Chics, that can be found on all social media platforms and their website etiquettechics. net. Susan and her husband have four children and live in North Chili, NY.

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making your bed, having the floor picked up, and keeping the bathroom area as clean as possible. Some simple tidying up can go a long way. Be aware, too. If you see that the dishwasher needs to be unloaded or toys picked up, then jump in and assist. As the hostess, do not be drill sergeant-like and expect the house to be free from toys or other items that may be used throughout the day.

If you tend to sleep in and your guests are early risers, have the coffee ready to turn on. Share with your guests that they are welcome to help themselves to muffins, bagels, etc. (Show them where all is located or leave out on a breakfast tray.) As the hostess, consider planning one special breakfast to spoil your guests.

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dietary needs. If you have strict dietary needs (vegan, lactose intolerant, gluten-free, allergies, etc.), share that with your hostess. Also, notify them that you are bringing some of your own supplies (without over-running the kitchen) to help take the pressure off them. As a hostess, be sure to reciprocate the same process and plan accordingly for your guests.

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discussed and agreed upon by all. If the hostess says Fido, Kitty, or Rudolph are not welcome, kindly abide by their request with no resentment or ill feelings. Not everyone loves the idea of hosting someone else’s pet, even if they are a pet lover themselves. Also, health takes a priority. If allergies or asthma issues are present for anyone, especially children and the elderly, always be considerate.

Be A Tidy Guest. Keep your room or area tidy by

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Talk About Dietary Needs. Consider everyone’s

WHO CALLS YOU

friend?. Reaching out to internationals By Shelly McClanahan

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wo first-graders, sweaty from running on the playground, approached the bench where the teachers sat. One was a first generation Asian-American boy who was fluent in English, the other a recent immigrant from South America who could barely say hello. With a big smile, the Asian-American student proclaimed, “I don’t know what he’s saying, but we’re best friends!” Then they ran off toward the monkey bars. One of the best parts of my job as an English as a Second Language (ESL) teacher is watching friendships like this grow. I have observed students whose backgrounds are vastly different develop friendships that transcend those differences.

There was the middle school girl from Mexico who became best friends with a boy from China. She gave him a Mexican nickname, and he picked up some Spanish— asking friends if he could borrow a lápiz (pencil) and telling me he had a pregunta (question). Then there were the high schoolers. I loved watching them walk into my classroom together, smiling and laughing, simply being teenage girls. They were from different parts of the world, had different religions, and in the beginning, couldn’t speak the same language. In my class, however, they developed common ground through learning English. They even developed their own code for talking about boys. Each boy had the name of a different cell phone provider: “I saw T-Mobile in the cafeteria!” or “AT&T talked to me today!”

Befriending Those Who Are Different

What a privilege it is to get to know those who’ve had different life experiences than us, from the big ones (such as being a refugee or having lived under various types of governmental systems), to the smaller ones (such as foods, clothes, and holidays). When our perspective of the world broadens, it allows us to see how big God is, and how He is at work in every nation, tribe, and tongue. Our limited perspective of an “American” God blossoms into one of the God of the universe, who sent Jesus to die for us all.

What Keeps Us Apart

We sometimes steer clear of those who are different from us. Hesitancy may keep us from building relationships. We’re not sure what to say, or if we’ll be understood. Other times, the busyness of life keeps us from knowing others. Getting to know someone who is not already in our circle takes time and energy. Complacency may be another reason we don’t reach out. A volunteer at a church ESL program told me, “I complained that too many people live here who can’t speak English. Then I realized I was complaining without doing anything. I’m not a teacher, but I can watch students’ children while they go to class.” Her determination to act made a positive impact in the lives of others.

Friendliness in the Bible–Philip and the Ethiopian (Acts 8:26-40) God often makes divine appointments for us to meet people who are different from us. This happened to Philip. He was told by an angel to go to the desert road from Jerusalem to Gaza. On the way, he saw a man from Ethiopia reading from the Book of Isaiah. The Spirit urged Philip to go to the man. Philip obeyed, and the results were life-changing for the Ethiopian. Philip extended friendship to the Ethiopian by joining him in his chariot and explaining that what he was reading was the good news of Jesus. The man believed and Philip baptized him as a new believer. What a beautiful result of showing friendship to another!

The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37)

The Good Samaritan is often presented as an example of reaching out to others, but why were his actions special?

Perhaps the most amazing friendship of all is between us and Jesus. Yes, He calls us friends! In John 15:15, Jesus says, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” Who could be more different than the omniscient God of the universe and us—flawed, sinful beings? And yet He still wants to know us. He reaches out to us. He loves us in a way we can never comprehend. And we have done nothing to earn or deserve this affection. Jesus shows us the perfect example of befriending those who are different from us.

How to Be a Friend to Those Who Are Different

Often in the Bible, we’re urged to come to the aid of foreigners in our land (Deut. 10:19; Matt. 25:40; Rom.12:13). There are many ways to do this. • Volunteer in a local adult ESL class. Maybe your church has one. If you don’t feel comfortable teaching, you could help with the nursery or provide snacks. • Get to know a neighbor or coworker who is new to your area. Invite them to your church or for a meal in your home. • Offer to make your church services in languages other than English. The services could happen concurrently in different parts of the building or at different times. • Be open to learning about other cultures. Attend events that highlight the various cultures in your area. Be aware of who lives around you and what specific needs they might have. There were two other culturally diverse students at my school who became good friends. One was a boy from India. The other was the daughter of a local American pastor. One day, the Indian boy came into my class carrying a Bible. “Samantha gave it to me,” he explained. “She told me about this God called Jesus, and I thought, He is good. I want to follow Him.” Like Philip, Samantha offered friendship that led to the best of all life changes for her friend. God is ready and willing to orchestrate encounters for us like He did for Samantha and Philip. Let’s be ready for them.

Shelly McClanahan has helped develop adult church ESL programs in both Georgia and Tennessee. She has a master’s degree in Multicultural Education and an Ed.S. in Second Language Education. After nearly a decade of working overseas in Albania, South Korea, and the United Kingdom, she returned to Tennessee where she teaches Middle School ESL near Nashville.

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When the Samaritan saw the Jewish man lying beaten on the side of the road, he had compassion on him. Rather than focusing on their differences and what their

Jesus Calls Us Friend

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There was much animosity between the Jews and the Samaritans. They all originally belonged to the twelve tribes of Israel, but when the kingdom of Israel split, the Samaritans were part of the Northern Tribe, and the Jews were part of the Southern Tribe. The Samaritans intermarried with the people of Assyria, bringing more animosity from the Jews, because this led the Samaritans to follow other gods. They had become as different from one another as they could be.

cultures might encourage them to do (as the priest and the Levite previously had), the Samaritan had pity on the Jew. A terrible thing had happened to him, and the Samaritan had the means to help. He aided someone who may have scorned him had the situation been reversed.

It is what it is

And it’s so much more than it seems. by Lori Ann Wood

gingerly pushed open the door marked 108a, terrified of what I might see on the other side. She beckoned me in from her hospital bed with a blunt acceptance, “It is what it is.”

My friend of 25 years had just been diagnosed with ALS, Lou Gehrig’s Disease. She had fallen and broken her foot, and in investigating the cause, doctors discovered the devastating culprit.

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Before I visited, I had to do some research. According to the ALS Association website, “ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord. There is no cure. Once ALS starts, it almost always progresses—taking away the ability to walk, dress, write, speak, swallow, and breathe—shortening the life span.”

I noticed my friend’s familiar, well-worn Bible on her bed table. Countless times she and her husband had stood at my own hospital bed, and at the bedsides, curbsides, and gravesides of others. As Abraham and Sarah, they had so often comforted outsiders on their journey. Like Abraham, the father of our faith, my friend and her husband have parented hundreds, if not thousands, along their trek to belief.

In all those similarities, I had a strange notion that God was abandoning her now. And I feared she felt it, too. Her words cut into my own fragile faith that day. “It is what it is.” Abraham may have uttered those very words, or at least harbored those sentiments. Not long after three travel-weary strangers entered the door to Abraham’s tent, they prophesied that he and Sarah would be parents within a year, reiterating God’s earlier promises of a robust lineage. Nearly a century old, Abraham knew his own physical limitations. Somehow, his faith remained intact. “Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised” (Rom. 4:19-21). In that ordinary hospital room, my friend began teaching me Abraham’s three extraordinary faith lessons.

Authentic Faith Starts with Honesty

influence, she works within it. Her tent’s door is forever open to lives that will follow her.

Her five simple words stung inside my ears. After hearing them, I couldn’t deny the reality my friend was living. I couldn’t comfort her. I had no Scriptures. No words of wisdom or even of hope found their way to my tongue. The situation seemed decided and done. I thought her faith was faltering. I bit back tears, wondering why God would do this to his long-faithful daughter.

Abraham also knew about living beyond his own physical life.

“It is what it is.”

It is what it is. Though perhaps in less tragic ways, we have all been there. The circumstance is true. The diagnosis is accurate. The helplessness is real. At that point, our only choice is to turn to the Helper. It’s all You now, God. It’s where every Christian walk begins—accepting the reality of our utter brokenness. Without that realization, faith has no place. Without acknowledging our hopelessness, we have no need for a Savior. That acceptance doesn’t put God out of business. In fact, it is essential for His work to fully develop. In 2 Cor. 12:9, Paul recounts God’s response regarding his own painful thorn, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” From Paul’s suffering and from Abraham’s example, we know we can face the crushing facts of our lives and still trust that God is at work. I can accept this harsh reality for my friend, and still believe in God, in His salvation, and in His ultimate healing. All the better for God’s glory to be revealed.

Physical Circumstances are Only Part of the Story

Weeks have passed since I first visited my friend in the hospital. They have discontinued physical therapy due to lack of progress. Through it all, she continues to minister when this life isn’t going according to her plan. As she waits for what exists outside of door 108a, she accepts that she can no longer use her legs. Her hundreds of friends have no words. But she does. She writes careful, lengthy letters to each young grandchild, highlighting their unique gifts and strengths, difficult as it is becoming for her to type.

The fragile woman in that hospital bed continues modeling a faith-filled life, thoughtfully weaving a legacy that will long survive us all. As God defines her circle of

My friend and Abraham both knew that God’s plan extends far beyond what we can see or even what we can personally live out. Each of our stories reaches deep into eternity—part of it here, as we leave our legacy in others, and part of it with God as our soul continues on. As believers, we press into the hope that “what it is” is not all that it is.

Faith is the Door to Peace

All those years—of believing, teaching, mentoring, and telling—started to work when the diagnosis came in. This faith-driven woman looked the unrelenting situation in the eye. She proclaimed God is in control, God is sovereign, and God is caregiver. She lived what she had so long professed. She will be released soon to her home now remodeled to accommodate a wheelchair. Her beautiful wood floors transitioned for wider openings. Her carefully decorated bedroom is outfitted with a hospital bed. Each visit with her becomes easier, and yet harder at the same time. Most days I just provide time and my presence because words still seem too small. Like Abraham on his promise-filled journey with God, she takes it one day at a time, one door at a time, and one divine appointment at a time. While I want to see all the way to the end of the hallway and behind every door, my friend has an uncanny ability to accept God’s provision for each day. She continues teaching me—even in this unfathomable trial. I hear her words each time I open her door, “It is what it is.” And now, each time I smile. Because in my heart I hear God add, “But it’s so much more than what it seems.”

Lori Ann Wood serves as founding leader of the Parenting Education Ministry at the Church of Christ in Bentonville, Ark., WomenHeart Champion Community Educator, and American Heart Association Ambassador. Lori Ann’s work has been published in numerous print and online venues, including The Christian Century magazine and Pepperdine University Press. Lori Ann and her husband have three children and live in Bentonville, Ark. Read more from her at loriannwood.com.

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She posts on social media while she still can. One of her posts: “Morning is God’s way of saying one more time, go make a difference, touch a heart, encourage a mind, inspire a soul, and enjoy the day. Are you ‘in’?”

Abraham was promised the whole land of Canaan; at his death all he owned was a cave. Abraham was promised that he would be the father of a multitude; at his death all of his sons, but Isaac, had been sent away. During his life, he saw only the beginning of the promises God had given him fulfilled, but Abraham trusted that He who began a good work in him would see it to completion. Abraham left a legacy that outlived generations of physical lives.

SON A E OF S A

Gratitude Tips and traditions to help you hold onto gratitude a little longer.

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compiled by Ann Cook

hristmas music, Black Friday sales, and endless holiday activities seem to begin earlier each year. There’s a term for this phenomenon—it’s “Christmas Creep!” No wonder we struggle to give Thanksgiving the place we’d like it to have in our lives or to have a heart of gratefulness for more than an afternoon the last Thursday of November. We’ve asked our JBU staff and friends

to share tips and traditions they have used to hold onto gratitude a little longer, decrease stress, and keep the focus on Christ during Christmas. We hope you will find these helpful. After all, the holidays weren’t created to revel in what we can accomplish; Thanksgiving and Christmas are celebrations meant to honor what God has done!

What helps you cultivate a thankful heart all year long? One way is to engage in “thank-you habits” like writing thank-you lists. I list things about God’s character such as His love and faithfulness, blessings like family, friends, and even electricity! Another idea is keeping a gratitude box. Daily write something you’re thankful for on a slip of paper, put it in a box, and read these on New Year’s Eve. The Bible says it best. “…let us show gratitude, and offer to God pleasing service and acceptable worship with reverence and awe” (Heb. 12:28b, AMP). –Mary Blasczyk

What family traditions do you practice to keep the spirit of gratitude throughout the holiday season? In the fall, our family buys a pumpkin and every day each of us writes one thing in marker on it that we’re thankful for. Sometimes it’s as little as coffee in the morning. Other times we write an answered prayer or an attribute of God we’re thankful for. During this season it’s such a joy to talk every day with my kids about what we’re truly grateful for. When we re-read them on Thanksgiving, it’s even fun to see Luke Skywalker or dinosaurs on the pumpkin! —Sharon Vaught

When you feel the stress meter going up, what do you do to help manage this? When that happens, I know it’s time for a priority check. I take a moment to think through the activities and social gatherings for the season. Is my to-do list filled with things that truly praise God, foster gratitude, or show His love to others? If not, it’s time for some honesty about what to keep and when to say “not this year.” Traditions and holiday activities are great, but if they’re hindering me from experiencing the joy and peace of Christ, then it’s time to make some changes. —Shannon Nykamp

Advent is the time we prepare for the celebration of Christ’s birth. What Advent activities does your family participate in?

My husband and I learned to practice gratitude in difficult times whilst planning our October 2020 wedding in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic. As our plans for a 180-person soiree in England were whittled down to 15 attendees in face visors, it was a challenge to stay grateful to God amidst the hurt, loss, and confusion. We prayed He would make a way for us to get married, and He did—three weeks before a national lockdown! Sometimes gratitude isn’t about “counting blessings,” but rather in trusting God’s sovereignty and plan for your good. It’s about humbling yourself before Him and praising Him in the midst of the storm, not just after it passes. —Danielle Thomas

Do you have tips or traditions that have helped you keep the focus on Christ for Christmas? To keep Christ on our oh-so-distracted hearts, we ask ourselves, "What’s a gift we could give Jesus?" Because Jesus modeled a life of service, we decided to give Him the work of our hands. For the past seven years, our family and friends have gathered on Christmas morning at a local family shelter. We bake a breakfast buffet, flip pancakes, hold babies, and play with the kids and their newly-donated toys before going home to open our own gifts. It’s one small way of ensuring that the presents of Christmas take a backseat to God’s presence with us, our Immanuel. —Karaline Huenink

How do you use Scripture as a way to count your blessings and foster gratitude? Early in my Christian life, I memorized Phil. 4:4-8. The secret to a life of gratitude is revealed there! “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Verse 6 is the admonition (Don’t be anxious….) but also the strategy (tell God what you need, with gratitude!), and verse 7 is the result (God’s peace!). Meditating on God’s Word and relying on His Holy Spirt truly does result in a grateful, transformed life. —Mary Perso

Ann Cook is a retired RN and nursing

instructor. She and her husband Randy, live in Waukesha, WI, They have three grown children, a son and daughter in-law, and five grandchildren.

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Each year we place our advent candle wreath on our kitchen table. The kids wait excitedly as we light it nightly before dinner and have a short devotional. As we wait in anticipation for the coming of the Savior, we light an additional candle each week of advent. This symbolism increases our sense of expectation. Just as “the people living in darkness have seen a great light” (Matt. 4:16), we await the lighting of the Christ-candle on Christmas Day. It’s a fun way for all of us to focus on the coming of Jesus during the hustle and bustle of the holidays. —Ashley Schmidt

How do you manage to be grateful when there isn’t much in your life to feel grateful for?

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You Mustn’t Mind

Christ was separated, too! By Jill Briscoe

e had been with missionaries in a distant and dangerous land. Some had their children with them. Many did not. They had left all they loved behind for the sake of the Gospel. Christmas was coming, but their loved ones were not. That was so hard! I spent time praying for them as my plane sped away, so that I could be with my loved ones for Christmas! I remembered a woman saying to me once, when we were full-time Christian workers, separated from our family at Christmas, “You mustn’t mind! I could never do that. I love my husband too much. We’ve never been apart since we got married. I could never be separated from him at Christmas.”

Joy in Jesus No joy without Jesus, no happiness deep,

No rest of the soul that gives life-giving sleep, No freedom from fear that cripples my day,

No joy without Jesus, no peace come what may!

My lonely heart cried, “I mustn’t mind? You love your husband too much? Do you know how much I love mine?” Even as I opened my mouth, I heard a voice closer than breathing, nearer than hands and feet!

It was pleasing His Father that caused Him to come,

“For the joy set before me I endured the cross scorning its shame,” He said. I realized, He didn’t only endure the cross, but the crib as well. It took thirty-three Christmases before He went home! Imagine…I tried not to resent the woman’s remarks, as she went on to tell me that she “didn’t believe God would bring Christian people together to separate them.”

He accepted for me all the pain and the loss.

To leave all His angels, His glory, His home,

For the joy set before Him, enduring the cross,

No heart for the lonely who long for a friend? No plans but to live for myself till the end. No way would I choose to ignore those who’re lost,

“Sometimes you have no choice,” I replied defensively.

No matter the hurt, no matter the cost….

“Everyone has a choice,” she replied, looking at me severely.

It’s the joy that’s in Jesus that powers my heart,

I saw my words had no meaning to her. In a way, she was right. Everyone does have a choice. We had made ours, Stuart and me, fifty years ago on our wedding day. “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:15). This choice to follow His call will, for many, mean a very personal cost, yet a small price compared to the one He paid for us. So, for the joy set before us, we endure. Later we talked, He and me. We talked about the young families, out in isolated and difficult places, and their “heart hunger” for those they loved so dearly almost too hard to handle.

When at times He requires some time far apart, He came from His Father, a small baby boy,

And He lived and He died to give me His joy. No strength without Him who gives power to the faint,

No ill to endure that He grants to the saints, No lightness of spirit, no smile on my face, No joy without Jesus: amazing grace!

“One of the hardest things is being apart from family, Lord. It never seems to get any easier.” “Yes.” “Especially at Christmas!”

I looked at Him. Of course, He knew! Then, “Oh dear Lord! Thank You!”

with her husband in ministry for over 60 years, written more than 40 books, and traveled on every continent teaching and encouraging ministry leaders. Jill is the founder of Just Between Us. She can be heard regularly on the worldwide media ministry called Telling the Truth. She and her husband, Stuart, live in southeast Wis.

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“Thank you!” He said, smiling at me. Do you know what that was worth? He blessed me then and gave me His joy. He promised, you know!

Jill Briscoe was born in Liverpool, England. She has partnered

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“I know.”

post-pandemic

re-entry Take time to look back while looking ahead.

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by Lisa Elliott

was in the line for the outdoor garden center with my daughter, awaiting my turn to enter. There were others in the line, all wearing masks and keeping their social distance. As we stood there, “together-apart,” a scene unfolded before all of our eyes. It involved three cars in the parking lot. Each car maneuvered around the other, taking turns to do-si-do. Two of the cars ended up not keeping their social distance in the commotion that ensued and, their side mirrors collided. We all stood and stared in disbelief. However, I was the only one who apparently couldn’t refrain from speaking my thoughts aloud. A few laughed with my unfiltered

commentary. Others likely hoped that this line could progress a little more quickly, so they didn’t have to listen, as I freely expressed my thoughts. As much as they would deny it, I knew they were thinking them, too, but they would never let on. When my daughter and I eventually made our purchase, got into our own car, and pulled out of the parking lot, she said, “Mom, I think we’re going to need to socialize you again before we let you out in public.” We laughed the rest of the way home. There’s some truth to what she said.

‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹‹ What Will Re-entry Look Like?

I haven’t been “let loose” since we’ve been in this pandemic. I have kept to myself, not even going to the grocery store unless absolutely necessary. Even then, I have attempted to get in and out as quickly as possible. I haven’t seen or engaged with anyone outside of my household for months. Aside from the news, that I sometimes avoid, I’ve lost touch with the outside world. Now that things have opened up more and I’ve been let out into the public again, I’ve experienced what many of you may be experiencing, too. I’ve had to allow myself some space and time in order to re-adapt as I’ve re-entered. How are you adapting as you’re getting out in the public again?

Different Approaches to Re-entry

For some of us, there may be some fear or anxiety. Others may still be apprehensive to engage in social activities too quickly, while others are ready and raring to go. Most of us have forgotten what our friends look like apart from a mask. Many of us have fallen into a routine of sorts. What once was abnormal has become our normal. I’ve heard some say that things will be much different upon re-entry. As much as I’d like to believe it, I’ve seen enough of our sinful human nature splayed out across the headlines. Nothing has changed. In fact, things might get worse before they get better.

The Pressure Will Be On

If your re-entry has been anything like mine, you’ve found the pace of life, that we were all thankful to get away from, has caught right up with you again. Expectations have become greater for those who are in the public spotlight to perform greater, do more, and amp up. Ministry and businesses will work more intensely to re-engage those who have gone astray and taken their business elsewhere. Emotions like frustration, irritation, and anger that have been stifled will be unleashed. Pressure will be on to initiate, engage, satisfy, and appease others, as we continue to move out of our state of seclusion.

Look Back to Look Ahead

This reminds me of the children of Israel—who said they’d never forget—yet they quickly forgot. Hence, why Moses gave this pre-entry speech:

…it's healthy to look back in order to move forward in a healthy way. Otherwise, like the Israelites, we, too, forget. I keep in mind that the apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree. Therefore, it’s important to take time as we look ahead, to look back. We need to ask ourselves some questions like: • What lessons have I learned that I don’t want to forget? • What has become “essential” to my life, my health, my emotional and mental well-being? • What relationships have deepened and become more meaningful because of my focused concern? • What have I recognized about myself that I wasn’t aware of before? • What routines do I want to continue as I’m able to get out again? These are all questions I’m considering in my reentry. Because one of the things I’ve learned is that it’s healthy to look back in order to move forward in a healthy way. Otherwise, like the Israelites, we, too, forget.

Make a Fresh Start

How’s re-entry gone for you so far? Have your expectations been met? Did you even know what to expect? Have you taken precautions? Have you bolted through the gate, or been slow to re-engage? Who did you connect with first? How have you spent your time? This is an opportunity for a fresh start. The clean canvas awaits you! But, before you get going, why not take some time to pause and reflect on where you’ve been.

Lisa Elliott is a gifted speaker and award-winning author

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of The Ben Ripple and Dancing in the Rain. Her passion is sharing God’s Word, straight from the heart. She and her pastor-husband, David, live in Ottawa, Canada. They have four adult children (three on earth and one in heaven), a son and daughter-inlaw and four grandchildren. Contact Lisa at lisakelliott22@gmail.com or follow her on Facebook: LisaElliott-StraightfromtheHeart.

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When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your

God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known, to humble and test you so that in the end it might go well with you. You may say to yourself, ‘My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.’ But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your fathers, as it is today” (Deut. 8:10-19).

hope THERE IS ALWAYS

Encouragement for parents of suicidal kids.

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by Kay Warren

Hundreds of people have asked me how to help their loved one—particularly an adolescent or young adult child—who is living with severe mental illness and/ or substance use disorder. They have a similar look in their eyes, a similar expression on their faces, a similar weariness that seems to come from their bones. Many weep—mostly against their will—because these brave moms and dads have steeled themselves to not break down in public again over the anguish they feel for their

beloved sons and daughters who are barely holding on, cycling through repeated “episodes,” relapses, jail time, rehab, hospitalizations, overdoses, and suicide attempts. These dear parents are doing all they know to do; have done it for years or decades and will do it until their last breath. They recognize that severe mental illness often leaves families with untenable choices— there are few “good” options, only “bad” and “worse.”

The Unfathomable Question Some parents go even further in what they ask me. A few manage to cobble together the question through tight lips that can barely form words, or in emotion-laden paragraphs via email. “Can you help me face the reality that my child may not survive much longer?” My initial word to these terrified parents is: “I’m honored that you asked me—and I’m so very sad that you even have to give it a thought.” I remember the first time I allowed myself to wonder if my youngest son, Matthew, was going to make it. I wanted to extinguish the thought as quickly and unbidden as it had come as if, somehow, even considering the terrible thought could make it happen. I remember the thousand times after that when fear and anxiety and the reality of his determination to die flooded my brain with utter helplessness. Sometimes I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t project positive outcomes. I know this place; I remember it too well. So, to any of you parents in this terrible place of fear for your beloved son or daughter, here are my thoughts.

The Edge of Hell I call the place you find yourself “Sitting on the edge of hell.” It’s the place where you as a mom stare down the enemy trying to destroy your child and know that your superpowers are not enough to guarantee your child’s survival. Your love may not be enough to save him. Your hours of anguished, fervent prayer may not be enough to save her. Your tears may not be enough. Your money may not be enough. Your carefully thought through, researched, and detailed plans may not be enough. There is hardly any place worse as a parent who adores a child and yet recognizes the enemy is relentless, cruel, and implacable.

To Engage or Disengage

Choosing to Suffer with Your Child So, I chose the path that left my heart completely defenseless to hurt, pain, and anguish. I chose the path that discarded self-protection in favor of remaining soft and tender, exposed and vulnerable. I chose to suffer alongside of Matthew, feeling his hurt, his anguish, his despair, fighting the hopelessness that engulfed him rather than sit on the sidelines, with my heart encased in a steel-lined box. I chose to believe in the God of Angel Armies...the God who parted the Red Sea...the God who releases prisoners from behind iron bars...the God who makes a way in the desert...the God who is the champion of lost causes...the God who walked on water...the God who made the blind to see, the deaf to hear, the lame to walk... the God who rose from the dead by His own power. I knew that if I ever gave up hope, Matthew would sense the change in me and would fling himself even more earnestly into the pursuit of death. So, I kept on believing, kept on hoping, kept on asking for a miracle, kept praying Scripture, kept begging others to pray as fervently as we were. I knew Matthew could die. For years we lived with the knowledge that any given day could be the day he couldn’t fight any longer. I wasn’t stupidly naïve or ridiculously convinced God would deliver. I just knew He could, and I would ask Him to do it until either He delivered Matthew here on this earth or welcomed him home sooner than we expected. So, to my fellow fearful moms and dads—do what you’re doing. Accept the excruciating possibility that your child will not live very much longer. Pray like a crazy person on your face before God and ask everyone you meet to pray with you for a miraculous intervention of God. And keep your heart open and soft and tender so that your son or daughter never has to wonder what God is really like. Yes, it will hurt you more now. But if something should ever happen, you will know without a shadow of a doubt that you never withheld your heart. My heart is heavy for you as I write... for your child, your marriage, and your other children. Yet I cannot give up hope. I will not give up hope. There is always hope.

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But parents?

I couldn't do it.

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Some parents are advised by professionals, family, and friends to disengage emotionally—to choose “compassionate detachment” toward their loved one. I was given that advice. I rejected it out of hand. I mean, it sounds reasonable in a textbook or on paper or in a clinical setting. It’s reasonable for a clinician who must build layers of protection against the pain of losing clients who die while in their practice. For their own well-being and ability to last in their work, they might need to find ways to emotionally disconnect from patients or clients so that work doesn’t follow them home. Adult children tasked with caring for mentally ill parents or siblings might need to find ways to emotionally separate themselves a bit for their own survival.

How do parents tell their hearts to stop caring? How do you tell your heart to sit by and merely observe? How do you tell your heart “It’s up to him?” How do you tell your heart to give up on hope? How do you tell your heart not to mourn over what mental illness and addiction are doing to your much-longed-for, muchprayed-for, much-beloved child? How do you tell your heart not to ache or be ripped apart by his illness? How do you tell your heart to let her go?

Resources FOR PARENTS

Part of helping kids with mental illness is having resources you need at your fingertips. Kay Warren has put together her recommendations for the places that can help you and your family.

Christian Counselor Network findacounselor.focusonthefamily.com Referrals for state-licensed Christian counselors in your area.

Crisis Text Line | www.crisistextline.org Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.

American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) www.aacc.net Locate Christian counselors, coaches, and clinics in your area.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) | suicidepreventionlifeline.org The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call 1-800-273-8255, en Espanol 1-888-628-9454, or visit their website to connect via online chat. 2-1-1 | www.211.org Provides free and confidential information and referral for mental health services, help with food, housing, employment, counseling, and more. With over 200 agencies across the U.S., 2-1-1 is a robust resource for helping people locate services in their area. National Alliance on Mental Illness www.nami.org/Home NAMI is the nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization which provides education classes, support groups, and resources for individuals and families. Local resources are provided for you across the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Treatment Services Locator | findtreatment.samhsa.gov A confidential and anonymous source of information for persons seeking treatment facilities in the U.S. for substance use/addiction and/or mental health problems.

Kay Warren.com www.KayWarren.com/MentalHealth As a mom of a child with mental illness, Kay often felt overwhelmed by the lack of mental health resources and the time it took to find reputable information. Her website was created to be a place where people can come and easily access trustworthy and helpful material without having to spend hours searching the Internet. BREATHE | kaywarren.com/Breathe/ Over the past few years, Kay Warren has hosted a variety of events for parents of children with mental health challenges called BREATHE. These events are designed to provide emotional, spiritual, and relational support for the long journey. Grace Alliance | mentalhealthgracealliance.org The Grace Alliance is a Christian-based organization that provides support groups for individuals, parents, and loved ones. Their support groups combine neuroscience and faith with the hope of building mental and emotional health resiliency. — Kay Warren

Kay Warren cofounded Saddleback Church with

her husband, Rick Warren, in Lake Forest, Calif. After the death of her son, Matthew, who lived with serious mental illness for most of his life, she founded Saddleback’s Hope for Mental Health Initiative as a way to support individuals and family members of loved ones with mental illness and suicidal ideation. Kay is a board member of the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention and is active in mental health/suicide prevention efforts in Orange County, CA. Her children are Amy and Josh, and Matthew (who is in heaven), and she has five grandchildren.

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Learn more at KayWarren.com and follow her on Facebook (KayWarrensPage), Twitter (@KayWarren1), and Instagram (@KayWarren75).

flourishing

minutes in the

in Your Prayer Life

WORD

By Dorie Etrheim

y thoughts were racing, thinking about all I had to accomplish. Would I get it all done? I sat down with the Lord to read the Scriptures, and my mind wandered to the stacks of laundry. My multitasking was spilling over into my quiet time. As I finished praying, it was as if I left Jesus in the chair and said to Him, “I’ll see you later.” What happens to your prayer life during a busy season when life feels overwhelming? Read Philippians 4:4-7. (Re-read it again in the Amplified translation, if available.) What stands out to you?

There is no place for “anxiety” in the presence of Jesus. What are we to do? What is the result?

Jesus is our Prince of Peace. He sees us, knows us, hears us, loves us, and He lives to intercede for us (Heb. 7:25). To flourish in prayer, we not only take all our cares to Jesus, but we must also sit at His feet and listen to Him. We need both. Martha and Mary are preparing to celebrate Jesus. Read Luke 10:38-42. Note where Mary is and what she is doing.

How is Martha described?

Digging Deeper “Martha, Martha,” indicates a loving, tender, emotionfilled reply to Martha: an invitation to step away from all the preparations and sit and listen to Jesus. “Listen to” means not just to hear, but also to pay close attention to and listen with a heart to obey. Prayer is our invitation to a deeper trust and dependence on Jesus. We are in Christ, who is allsufficient for all our needs (Phil. 4:19). We are sealed with the Holy Spirit who accompanies us in our prayers (Rom. 8:26-27). Jesus understands our weakness (Heb. 4:1416). He invites us to stay in close communion with Him through prayer. We have front row seats to talk and listen to the allpowerful, all-knowing, almighty God who spoke the world into existence. Jesus shares a great model for prayer with us in Matt. 6:9-13, the Lord’s Prayer. What is He inviting you to? What would you say to Him if you and He were sitting in the chair across from you now? What would He say to you?

For Your Journal Write out Phil. 4:4-7 in your journal. Notice what words stand out to you. Journal what you sense Jesus is saying to you and write a prayer of thanks to Him. Enjoy His presence.

Rejoice!

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again:

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What is Jesus’ response?

Martha loved the Lord and she wanted to serve Him well. She thought she had no time to sit and listen to the Lord if she were to complete all her preparations. But Mary stopped her work to sit and listen to Jesus. Can you feel the tension? You and I have the same choice. Will you choose to sit at the Lord's feet, still your heart, focus on His presence, and listen for His whispers of love and truth?

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free to

flourish You are meant to live a vibrant and thriving life. by Shelly Esser

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friend stopped me in my tracks: “I hope you are flourishing.” Unexpectantly, tears began to spill down my face. You see…I was not flourishing and hadn’t been for some time. Instead, I had been only surviving, just getting by. God used those words that day to get my attention and take me on a journey that has changed the course of my life this past year.

Decades of hard stuff had slowly drained the life out of me. I started out like a balloon full of air and promise only to watch the air slowly leak out. I didn’t even recognize what was happening. But I felt deflated emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I had become a shell of myself. Who was I? What was I passionate about? I didn’t know. I lost myself—the girl inside who used to be so passionate and positive and ready to take on the world. Where was she?

In my tears, God invited me to flourish. And the good news as Jennie Lusko puts it: “When God calls us to ‘flourish,’ it doesn’t mean to become something brand new. It means to revive; to bring back to life what and who we were meant to be. We weren’t created to become something totally different but to become what we were originally designed for.” I found that comforting. Because somewhere in the middle of my lost self was the girl God had always created me to be. She was in there and He was just waiting to set her free to flourish—in every way—even in the hard stuff. What I got so wrong was that flourishing can only happen when everything is going well, when my circumstances are good. We don’t have to wait to flourish until life calms down and is free of troubles (that will never happen). Love, joy, peace, gratitude, hope, and an overall well-being can happen in any season of our lives and in any circumstances. And it can start today!

Let God Love You. Part of God’s flourishing plan for

me was for me to rediscover His incredible love for me in a way I had not understood before—a love not based on what I did for Him, not based on my worthiness, but on me in my messiness, just as I am, the beloved daughter of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords! For the first time I started to really believe and experience that. Nothing…not weariness, not brokenness, not missing a quiet time, not my worst version of myself, not living in sackcloth for too long could change His love for me. God loves me. Period.

“Love, joy, peace, gratitude, hope and an overall well-being can happen in any season of our lives and in any circumstances. And it can start today!”

Here are some steps I’ve been working on in my flourishing journey to revive the life God wants me to live and to set that lost girl free …

Open Your Soul Up to God. No more pretending, no

more going through empty motions. Lay it all out on the table with Him. He knows anyway. Be real…be raw…tell it like it is. Pour your brokenness out to God, tell Him you’re angry, share your doubts, express the pain of unanswered prayers, and unhealed minds and bodies. He can handle it. Let Him cradle your broken heart. Let Him rub the healing balm of His deep love into your wounds. See the darkness, the deadness as an invitation from God to discover Him in a deeper way and to a pathway of healing for the unspoken pain you have carried alone for far too long. An invitation that will lead you to become the flourisher He designed you to be. List every disappointment, hurt, disillusionment, grief, doubt—every cry of your heart. Go back so you can go forward. It’s the enemy’s lie that keeps us burying pain deep within our souls. It only results in distance from God.

Take Off Your Sackcloth. Psalm 30:8, 11 says, “To

at the lost girl, I noticed that she used to be fun. Somehow that got deflated as well. I had given so much of myself in the process of caring for others, it became hard to even remember what I loved to do before medical illnesses, and its weary aftermath took up residence in my life. So, every week I scheduled something fun. My soul desperately needed that, and, to my surprise, I started flourishing again.

Find Someone to Journey with You. Too often, I al-

lowed myself to struggle alone. I heard voices from my past telling me that I needed to be strong—more air out of my balloon. We can’t go it alone. Flourishing involves inviting people who can help us along the way. I started meeting with an incredibly wise life coach who has helped me tremendously. To have a cheerleader when you have felt so beaten down for so long has been a healing balm to my soul. We need someone to help us hold our arms up in the battle, in the moments of crushing defeats and setbacks, in the moments when it looks like we’re not going to win—someone to help us fill our balloons up again. She did that for me. The flourishing journey will look different for each of us—and it takes time. But we have an incredibly patient and loving God who sees our struggles, our pain, our distance—our deflated balloons—and He comes alongside us to free us from the things that get in the way of the flourishing life He intended. And as we let Him bring our lost selves back to life, He welcomes us with open arms and fills us up with joy again.

Between Us for 30-plus years. Additionally, she has been involved with leading and nurturing women in Christ since college. She and her husband have four adult daughters, two sons-in-law, and a grandson. They live in Menomonee Falls, Wis.

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Shelly Esser has been the editor of Just

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you, O LORD, I called; to the LORD I cried for mercy…you turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.” It’s essential to work through our grief in a healthy way and take the necessary time to do that, but we can’t flourish if our wailing never becomes dancing and the only outfit in our wardrobe is sackcloth. Gently, the Lord said, “It’s time to take off your sackcloth, to stop wallowing in your losses and exchange them for the joy I have waiting for you.” It was hard because I had become so comfortable in mine—I had worn it for years—but we can’t stay in sorrow forever. We need to see the beautiful and find the joy again.

Build Fun into Your Life. When I started to look back

LIVING WELL

All the Lonely People by Gail Goolsby

haven’t eaten a meal with someone in 10 months,” my client told me during the height of the COVID-19 restrictions. “I can’t believe I am so alone.”

“I moved across the country to be closer to my extended family, because I thought I would see them often,” reported a retired widow, “I miss my friends.” I talk with people all day for my customer service work, but I don’t have any close relationships for hanging out nights and weekends.” What exactly is going on when someone says, “I’m lonely”?

More Than Being Alone

Solitude isn’t the only contributor to loneliness. People can be lonely, even among people, like a college student, soldier, or stay-at-home mom. Loneliness is a feeling, a state of mind that occurs repeatedly. It is not the number of relationships that satisfies our craving for human contact, but the quality of them. When distanced from hometown friends and family, our work and community connections can feel shallow. We don’t feel known, since our personal history is not part of the new relationships.

The Impact of Loneliness

External circumstances may reduce our ability to be around others—like health issues, transportation problems, work requirements, family demands, or a pandemic. It can take more effort to pursue social participation, so we begin to do without, not realizing the toll this takes on our overall well-being.

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Research shows longstanding feelings of loneliness can contribute to depression, anxiety, and even early death. It can lead people to over/under eat, drink more, become sedentary, and engage in risky behaviors like drugs and indiscriminate sex. So, it’s important to include social activities with our other self-care efforts.

As believers, we may know that faith and a solid, intimate relationship with Christ should keep loneli-

Gail Goolsby,

ness from taking hold. But we still may not feel secure. When loneliness tries to overwhelm us, we must embrace the truth of Scripture. Isaiah 54:10 says, “‘Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the LORD, who has compassion on you.”

Breaking Free of Loneliness

Generally, loneliness is short-term and can be corrected, but we must pay attention to the signs of reoccurring feelings, often shrouded in self-pity. When we give into a loneliness mindset, it can become harder to form valuable relationships. A sense of being unwanted, empty, and dismissed can interfere with positive social interactions and make aloneness a guarantee. Taking the initiative to be a blessing to others is an effective way to break free from loneliness. We can move toward others, not waiting for invitations, but looking to enrich the lives of those around us. Joining a small group or Bible study, volunteering in the nursery or children’s program, greeting or ushering, visiting the sick or homebound, traveling with a mission team, or serving on an event committee can ignite friendships. Consider enjoyable endeavors such as theater or the arts to add anticipation to each week. Community service is also another purposeful way to make connections with others. To break free from loneliness, we must drop our self-focus, residual negativity, and fear of rejection. If our intention is to bless others, then we will likely not be disappointed. Those we serve can become friends and significant people in our lives. So, be on the lookout for ways to touch other lives and you might discover how much they will touch yours!

MA, MEd, ACC is an author, speaker, and career educator, including serving overseas as detailed in her recent book, Unveiled Truth: Lessons I Learned Leading the International School of Kabul. As a life coach, Gail believes there is support and encouragement in God’s Word to help us all learn to live well. She is a mom, grandma, and lives in south central Kansas, with her husband of 43 years.

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% gail.goolsby@gmail.com F Gail Wettstone Goolsby T Gail Goolsby

YOUR STORY

Seeing God in the Ordinary by Dyann Shepard

he last two months of the year fill me with joyful expectations. I love the sights, the sounds, and the celebrations with friends and family. However, it is easy for me to get caught up in the preparations and overlook the true gift, Emmanuel, God with us. I can become so busy doing that I forget being and resting in the presence of Christ Himself. My heart's desire is to be grateful and experience the gift of Jesus every day, not just during the holidays. I want to experience the daily gift of His presence and to have eyes to see His daily blessings in the ordinary and unexpected. One busy holiday, my husband and I decided to take a back road to avoid traffic. As a result, we experienced an unexpected surprise—a God-gift. The winding country road was empty. The only life for miles were herds of cattle grazing, wandering deer, and soaring birds. We were relaxed and peaceful. As we came around a corner, suddenly there was a vast herd of sheep. More surprising was the rancher overlooking the sheep sitting on his farm equipment playing the saxophone! A delightful God-gift out in the middle of nowhere. We would have missed it had we taken the main road. Sometimes we are privileged to receive a gift from God as we witness a holy moment. One evening while serving at our local homeless shelter, a young man came through the line asking for two plates of food. He needed one for an older man who was having trouble walking and one for himself. If he were allowed only one serving, he said he would give it to the older man then return to the end of the line for himself. Of course, I gave him two plates.

Dyann Shepard

Scripture is full of ordinary people who God used to do the extraordinary. David was a shepherd, Mary was a young Jewish girl, Peter was a fisherman, and Matthew was a tax collector. God chose them all to be extraordinary for the Lord. Can you imagine what it was like for Mary? She may have been just a young girl to those around her, but God had other plans. Everything changed when the angels announced she would bear a son—the Son of God! From that moment, her ordinary life became extraordinary. In the song, “Mary Did You Know?” there is a verse that asks, "Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new? This child that you've delivered will soon deliver you?” It takes my breath away when I choose to be still and meditate on this truth. Jesus, our Savior, chose to reveal Himself, as a baby, to a young girl. He decided then, as He often does now, to reveal Himself in the ordinary. Mary knew her Son was special, but until His resurrection she didn’t see the fulfillment of the promise. So it is with us. We don't always see or understand what God is doing in our lives. In the meantime, we trust in the promise of things unseen. My prayer is that I will see the gifts of God all around me, in the simple and the profound. I want to see God in the baby in the manger and in the Hallelujah, the Messiah—God with us, God for us, and God in us.

personalparables.com

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is a wife, mother, grandmother, writer, Bible teacher, former staff member of CRU, and former Stephen’s Minister. Her passion is writing about experiencing God’s presence in our daily lives as we open our hearts to Him.

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I watched as the two of them sat alone at a table. The young man was leaning in, listening, and engaged with the older man. Later in the evening, he asked for something softer for the man to eat because he had trouble chewing the food. The tenderness and compassion of this young man was a holy moment. I was watching something extraordinary. It was Jesus in action.

This young man was giving the equivalent of a cup of cold water to the least of these. It might have seemed like those of us serving were the givers, but it was the young man who gave the most that night—his time, love, mercy, and compassion.

DISCOVERING THE WORD

When Life Feels Unfair by Pam Farrel

ometimes life feels unjust! Like the psalmist in Psalm 73, it’s easy to look at sinful, selfish people and their apparent success and feel angry, confused, or depressed over how unsuccessful your life appears. During one Christmas season, I was not feeling very hopeful. My rigorous ministry schedule coupled with caregiving for aging parents had left me depleted. The to-do list was long, and funds were short. However, my inner complaining was not improving my mood, creativity, or productivity, so I decided to follow the example of Psalm 73:16-17, ESV: “But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed a wearisome task, until I went into the sanctuary of God” [emphasis added].

Mary and Joseph Were Uncomfortable Too

Part of my struggle with hope came from a significant downsize my husband and I were facing. We wanted to be closer to Bill’s aging parents to give more help. The enemy fueled my hopelessness with lies: “God doesn’t care about you,” and “God isn’t fair.” I recognized the danger of these lies, so, like the psalmist, I entered God’s sanctuary. I piped in praise music, pulled out my gratitude journal, and began reading the Christmas story. I was quickly reminded that no one in the Christmas story was comfortable that year. Mary was pregnant while riding a donkey, Joseph was fighting character accusations back home, the shepherds had left their familiar fields, and the wisemen rode smelly camels enroute to the barn. Even Jesus was laid in a manger of hay!

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It was hard to feel sorry for myself when the God who created me set aside all the luxuries of heaven to occupy a cowshed on my behalf! My husband said, “Pam, I know this journey ahead will be strenuous, so I was thinking that instead of just getting a condo, what do you think about living on a boat?” Could I thrive in a space smaller than most hotel rooms? I knew I needed to head back into the sanctuary.

Rediscovering Hope

I dug into Rom. 15:13, and God met me there with a powerful revelation: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” God would give this hope, joy, and peace in abundance.

Transformed by the Breath of God

I discovered “the God of Hope” was one title. Elohim creates everything—including hope. And what God was longing to give me was joy grounded in God (not circumstances) and peace. I knew this was exactly what I needed to move forward. This awesome outcome was made possible through the power of the Spirit. When I did a word study on the Spirit’s “filling,” one of the commentators described it as “a wind that would fill a sail tight so a boat would move forward.” God would do all the filling and all I needed to do was “raise my sail of trust” to catch His life-giving wind. And He would fill my heart with overflowing hope, joy, and peace! It is this same kind of life-giving hope the psalmist discovered in Psalm 73:26: “My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” If you look up the definitions of key words, you could read this as: “My body and inner person may perish, Elohim (the God above all gods) will be my sure stone mountain, my solid rock of my inner person (my mind, will, and conscience) and my territory (my reward and victorious booty) through all eternity.” God being your rock-solid, stone mountain refuge is all possible when you act on Psalm 73:28: “But as for me it is good [beautiful and best] to be near God.” Stay near to God for beautiful hope!

Pam Farrel

is an engaging and energetic leader who has impacted women's lives with her experience as an international speaker, director of women's ministry, radio co-host, newspaper columnist, pastor's wife, youth leader, and mentor. She is co-director of Love-Wise, and the author of over 52 books. When she's not traveling, she and Bill make their home on a boat in southern California.

Love-Wise.com

STRENGTHENING YOUR SOUL

Don’t Let Your Dream Die by Melva L. Henderson

hen I start writing, before one word hits the page, the sheet of paper in front of me is white, clean, and clear. The white paper is like a canvas waiting for the painter to create something wonderful that he and others can enjoy. The blankness represents opportunity. When you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, your life was like that white sheet of paper, clean and clear. You get the opportunity to be the painter of your own life. I know that ultimately God is the Divine Painter, the Master Craftsman, but He gives us opportunities, gifts, and talents. We can use them to open great doors of blessing for our lives. “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” (Jas. 1:17). At birth, you came into the world with gifts, and these gifts were given by God. What you do with your gifts is entirely up to you. I once heard this statement: “Many people live and die and never enter into the first phase of the ministry that God has for them.” Many people live and die, never allowing the gifts that are within them the freedom of expression. Some of you right now are sitting with great potential inside, but you are afraid to step out. You are afraid of being rejected, afraid of what others might say, afraid of the unknown, or afraid of what it might cost. Instead of pursuing the greatness God has placed within you, you make a choice to sit on the sidelines of life, watching others cruise by fulfilling their life dreams. Don’t let the gifts lie dormant, and don’t allow the dreams or visions God has placed in you to die! He put them within you so they could come out of you. What are you doing with what is in you?

ing with all that’s in you? Are you going to forget what God has placed within you?” I stood there weeping. To be honest, I hadn’t thought about myself. Without realizing it, I had spent much of my adult life serving someone else’s vision and never even thought about fulfilling my own. I was content where I was. It was comfortable, but it wasn’t all God had for me.

“Don’t let the gifts lie dormant, and don’t allow the dreams or visions God has placed in you to die! He put them within you so they could come out of you. What are you doing with what is in you?”

It is said that every person will have one opportunity in life to become independently wealthy. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but what if it is? Did you pass up your opportunity? I know our place of wealth is connected to the gifts deep within us. The floodgates are going to open for us, and the provision of God will be ours for the taking. Don’t let the dream in you die. Pray and ask the Lord to show you creative ways to get the gifts inside of you out for others to enjoy!

Melva L. Henderson

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is an author, speaker, and regular columnist for Just Between Us. She is also the founder of The Milwaukee Give, a humanitarian outreach, and co-founder and president of World Bible Training Institute, an accredited Bible college. She is wife to pastor Ervin, mother of five, and a grandmother.

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Several years ago, I went to Chicago with a friend to celebrate her birthday. We worked for the same company. While standing on Michigan Avenue, she said, “Melva, God never intended for you to fulfill another man’s vision and let your vision die. What are you do-

OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR

What’s on Your List? by Ashley N. Thomas

ists. I thrive off making them—whether a list of chores that need to be done, lists of items I need from Target (although somehow, I leave with more), or the special list reserved for what I want (or rather need) others to do. That last one doesn’t always get written down, and yet, more often than not, it takes up the most space in my head. In this column, we have been learning about what it means to be a good neighbor. All of us are someone’s neighbor, and it’s our responsibility to be more like Christ even—especially—when we don’t want to. This means stepping outside our front door ready and willing to meet the people, right where they are, who cross our path. The kicker? When we meet people where they are, they often aren’t conveniently where we want them to be. Their attitude may need adjusting, they may be too loud or too quiet, and most likely they aren’t perfect, which none of us are. But if we are really honest with ourselves, most of our frustration with the neighbors in our lives has to do with what they are or aren’t doing to meet our needs perfectly. It is almost as if we expect people to meet our needs in order for us to then accommodate theirs. Unfortunately, this is not the kingdom model Jesus set up for us.

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At Hope Street, the place I work and love, we serve both individuals and families. When individuals come in, we place each one with a roommate. Because we serve women, we also tend to have some drama. Not always, but in those first few months of getting acquainted with a new roommate, there are bound to be a few hiccups. Of the many stories over the years, my favorites are the arguments about something really important, like toilet paper. My role in these situations has been to sit down with both women and hear them out. It never fails—each begins to list off the things the other (her neighbor) is not doing. Rarely, in the beginning, are people able to see through clear eyes their own role in the matter, but most believe they see clearly what the other is not doing.

In one particular situation, I left the women with an exercise: I asked each to write out a list of things she wished the other would do. And once they wrote it all down, I asked that they come back and meet with me. Both completed their lists and were ready and willing to give them back to me. Upon sitting with both women, I looked over each (rather exhaustive) list, took a pen and wrote each woman’s name at the top of the list she provided. They both quizzically looked at me and asked, “Why did you do that?” I then shared, “We don’t get to control how others respond, but we can control who we become. Jesus tells us to “do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matt. 7:12). That first statement “do to others” means we have some work to put in.” Our neighbor may not change, but we can. We can become more patient, more kind, more giving, and in the same breath less angry, less entitled, and less bitter. There's a chance our transformation may impact our neighbor, but that’s not the goal. The goal is to love better, as a human being—not someone who focuses on all that we are or aren’t doing but placing more emphasis on who we are becoming.

“Our neighbor may not change, but we can.” Being a good neighbor simply means we must become the kind of person we want to encounter. If we spend more time becoming like Him and less time pointing out where others fall short, who knows, we just might be changed. What’s on your list? Let’s get to work.

Ashley N. Thomas is the Executive Director of Hope Street

ministry in Milwaukee, Wis. She enjoys speaking, writing, and being present with broken people as each discovers the grace that allows us all to be known and loved still.

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INTENTIONAL FAITH

Feeling Inadequate? by Jen Allee

love games but Old Maid, Crazy 8’s, and Go Fish sometimes tried my patience when my boys were younger. I taught my older son to play Gin Rummy at age six. Fast forward nine years later and both of my sons are accomplished card players, giving me a run for my money. There is one game, though, where I consistently have an edge over them. It’s called Speed. If you’re not familiar, it is simply a game of getting rid of your cards the fastest. I honestly have no clue how I am able to react so quickly, but I do. The boys love to play each other, having the winner play me. Or they urge their friends to try beating me. I have to admit it feeds my ego. After every win I say, “Boys, you know I’m not good at much, so I am going to take this!” And I mean it. Aren’t we keenly aware that we excel at a few things, but struggle with so much more? Why do our deficiencies tend to outweigh our strengths in number and importance? All I know is when asked about strengths and weaknesses, we tend to have a short list of one and a long, detailed list of the other. Why is that? Here’s my theory. I believe our inadequacies readily come to mind because we have two different voices telling us about them. Let me explain.

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Inadequacy is an interesting subject. Both God and the devil love to use it. God longs for us to acknowledge our inadequacies, depend on Him, and watch Him faithfully work through them. Satan also longs for us to acknowledge them, but for different reasons. While God wants to show Himself strong in our weaknesses and move us through our challenging situations, the devil wants us to wallow in our weaknesses and stay put. He uses shame and failure to keep us angry, depressed, insecure, and broken.

Jen Allee

God and Satan both love inadequacies. One uses them for our good, and the other for our demise. When the apostle Paul asked God about his deficiencies, here was God’s response: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9). After experiencing that power, Paul goes on to say: “Therefore, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:10). Satan, on the other hand, is described differently: “Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour” (1 Pet. 5:8b). Therefore, don’t be fooled. The reason why you can easily name your shortcomings is because you have two different voices talking about them. One is wanting to take your failings and make you stronger; the other wants you to fail. It’s funny how the same issue in your life can have drastically different results. Remember this: don’t be surprised by your inadequacies. We all have them! Just know that, when you are ready, God is able to use them to make you stronger. It’s your choice. Live intentionally.

Be Intentional

Divide a piece of paper into two columns and write out 2 Cor. 12:9-10 and 1 Pet. 5:8b at the top of each one. Consider your weaknesses (real or perceived!) and listen for who is behind them. List each weakness in the appropriate column. Column one: pray that God would work through you in power. Column two: cross out everything symbolizing that you are silencing the shame.

is an author and a speaker who believes a strong faith is built one intentional step at a time. For encouragement in taking your next step, visit her at Living Intentionally at jenallee.com.

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Winter 2021

Articles inside

There is Always Hope

Post-Pandemic Re-entry

15 Minutes in the Word

It Is What It Is

Who Calls You Friend?

A Season of Gratitude

Free to Flourish

You Musn’t Mind

Heart to Heart

Rest Your Soul

God’s Word Versus Emotions

Happy Home

Courageous Joy

Growing Through Your Yes

Between Us

Transparent Moments