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The Jewish Home | MAY 26, 2022
jewish women of wisdom
Boredom is Not Fatal by rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz
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one daughter recalls five copies of Little Women and at least three of the Wind in the Willow on our Brooklyn shelves. As grandmothers, we seek quality experiences with our grandchildren. We want not only all parties to enjoy, laugh and make memories, we also want more of a lasting impact than fun experiences together. We want our interactions to have
can be delegated. One daughter has offered to bring unique toys she has access to. But it’s on us to keep the school-age children content in our homes. The babies and toddlers who are unfamiliar with the environment and schedules often give the parents a hard time. Having new games for the bigger kids after napping will keep some engaged. The
My own daughter implemented this strategy to the point that her daughter would complain at age four, “I am bored, and I DO NOT want options.” preschoolers may need a fresh set of Playmobil or two to keep them busy. Even a full stock of multiple sets of Magnatiles won’t necessarily be interesting enough. They have them at home, and they have them at preschool. New dolls and carriages, trucks, a new dollhouse and figurines, puppets and a puppet theater, and costumes provide hours of creativity that can happen with cousins. Lots of cheap top hats and pompoms will prompt shows that the kids will prepare and eventually perform. This is a great resource for those long rainy yom tov days. A new board game is sedentary, but
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impact on character development, intellectual development, and Jewish values development. Ideas, situations, dilemmas, and Torah could be part of the conversations. But how to do it? Obviously, there are different strategies for different ages. And the numbers have to be manageable. If we are hosting or sharing a space for a big yom tov with grandchildren of all ages, we are obviously going to plan for times for each age group or groups of two or three. If are hosting, we are responsible for the maintenance of peace and atmosphere. Some purchases
you may not be left with all the pieces by the time yom tov is over. Newly published books and the holiday magazines provide the teens and their parents with resources for time out. There isn’t much time for engagement when there are so many in one space. But you can take a stroll with a grandchild or two. Talking about what they are currently reading and what was the latest program at school are good openers. We can follow up with questions like: what did you like about that? We want the conversations to be more than reportorial. Sharing a bit about what is going on in our own lives, minds, jobs, hobbies, projects, and bedside reading demonstrates that we want to share our own interests, too. Intentionality is in order if you want to really discuss things. Talking about one’s parents is not hard. “Did I ever tell you about the time when…?” is a good opener to pique a grandchild’s interest beyond perusing photo albums together. It’s neither our obligation nor our responsibility to provide boredom busters for our grandchildren. But it’s smart for management of yom tov and to promote relationships.
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y late mother used a declarative tone to address children in the family with this statement. She would challenge them to find creative ways to entertain themselves when the “I’m bored” complaint was heard. It was often followed by a comment such as, “You are smart. You can find yourself something to do.” Not each kid liked to hear it. As a parent, I agreed with this approach. It’s not the responsibility of a parent to entertain children. Learning to handle their own occupation is a process, however. I would give my children a list of age- appropriate options and suggest that they pick one. They would sometimes get a written list. Alternatively, they could come up with their own ideas. My own daughter implemented this strategy to the point that her daughter would complain at age four, “I am bored, and I DO NOT want options.” However, when it came to the grandchildren, my mother learned to be proactive more often than didactic. She had a store of old toys like all grandmothers do. But she also kept a bag of novelty items from a local discount store hanging in a hall closet, filled with cheap toys and games for visiting grandchildren, great nieces and nephews, and children of talmidim of my father’s. There were always quality books to read in the “book room” and the cheapies for taking home. She would also buy her favorites from the street vendors in Manhattan. That’s why
