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JULY 2, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Dating Dialogue
What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters
Dear Navidaters,
My roommate is crazy. There, I said it. I recently found out that she has created fake shadchan identities using email accounts etc., got on some shadchan email and WhatsApp groups, and has been redting both me and her to guys in the most bizarre ways. She thinks she is helping me, but it is really the opposite.
It all started when I got an email from a random shadchan one day trying to set me up with Yonaton (I changed his name). I tried getting a phone number I could reach this shadchan at and her correspondences were very strange, while she skirted the issue of having a phone call or to share her phone number. I liked the idea she sent so I pursued it, but this shidduch did not get past a first date – not because it was not shayach, but she seemed to drop the ball and give an elusive response such as, “he said it’s too hard to date now during corona.” Long story short, I was on her computer one day and a Gmail account for this “shadchan” popped up when I signed in, with dozens of interactions. It was hard for me to click around, but I did. She had written the same immature-sounding email to dozens of different guys trying to set her and I up. When I confronted her, she surprisingly told me everything. She has been using fake email accounts to take charge of her and her friends’ shidduchim. She told me that she gets profiles from public shidduch email lists with her alias as this “shadchan.” What she doesn’t realize is how off she comes across via her immature-sounding emails and correspondences, and I know that having my information sent out by her aliases is terrible for me. My question is twofold: 1) Is it even possible to be set up with this guy Yonaton again? I have a feeling that his sudden disinterest was because he was creeped out by the “shadchan’s” interactions. 2) How can I possibly get through to my roommate that what she is doing is wrong?!
Thanks, Tammy
Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions.
Our intention is not to offer any definitive
conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.
