Lessons from My Mother

Lessons From My Mother Local women leaders share the life lessons that they learned from their mothers

Sally Lasker, a"h

BY MYRNA ZISMAN

MY mother, Sally Lasker, a”h, was a very unique woman. Her quick wit and intelligence made her a force to be reckoned with.

Her devotion to both religion and education were exemplary.

An avid reader, she always encouraged my An avid reader, she always encouraged my siblings and me to always have a book in hand. siblings and me to always have a book in hand. She would tell us, “If there was time to spare She would tell us, “If there was time to spare in your day, always open a book and read.” She in your day, always open a book and read.” She also told us that it is never too late to learn. My also told us that it is never too late to learn. My mother did not attend college post high school, mother did not attend college post high school, but the yearning to graduate from college was but the yearning to graduate from college was always there. She fulfilled her dream by gradalways there. She fulfilled her dream by graduating from Touro College at age 69. uating from Touro College at age 69.

People say I look like my mom. I hope I inPeople say I look like my mom. I hope I inherited her genes. She lived until the age of 98! herited her genes. She lived until the age of 98!

D Toby Schwartz, a”h Toby Schwartz, a”h

BY RACHAYLE DEUTSCH

frequently said that only now hits me with its clarity and beauty. Whenever my mother would receive a compliment, especially about her children, she was always quick to say, “I had a good partner in Hashem.” In this way, she constantly acknowledged Hashem’s presence in her life and His benevolence.

Although I heard these words often, it didn’t register with me until recently what emunah my mother had, and I’m sure that is why she was able to go through life – and not always an easy life – upbeat and with a smile. At times, it is so difficult to be positive, to remember that we are not alone, and to give credit for our accomplishments to a Higher Power, but she was always able to do this. always able to do this.

I am so grateful that I can continue to learn I am so grateful that I can continue to learn from her, even now. from her, even now. AS parents, we spend a lot of our time advising parents, we spend a lot of our time advising our children – trying to impart wisdom gained our children – trying to impart wisdom gained from our own experiences that will help carfrom our own experiences that will help carry them more safely and wisely through life’s ry them more safely and wisely through life’s journeys. As children, unfortunately, we don’t journeys. As children, unfortunately, we don’t always have the patience and sense to listen to always have the patience and sense to listen to and absorb our parents’ messages. and absorb our parents’ messages.

I learned so much from my mother about I learned so much from my mother about being joyful and grateful, but I didn’t fully apbeing joyful and grateful, but I didn’t fully appreciate her approach to life until after her preciate her approach to life until after her recent passing, recent passing, a”h. a”h. There is something she There is something she

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Helen Katz Helen Katz

BY RACHEL PILL, LCSW

as I was kind and respectful of myself and others. I try very hard to live my life in this way. I work hard to love my kids unconditionally and to make them feel as safe and loved as I have always felt. I would be honored to write about the lessons I would be honored to write about the lessons I have learned from my mother. I am so blessed have learned from my mother. I am so blessed to have been given my mother, and I know that to have been given my mother, and I know that she is an incredible gift. she is an incredible gift.

My mom (Helen Katz) has taught me My mom (Helen Katz) has taught me to love unconditionally – that children to love unconditionally – that children are each special and deserve to be loved are each special and deserve to be loved and respected for who they are. My siband respected for who they are. My siblings and I are each so different, and lings and I are each so different, and my mom has always loved us for my mom has always loved us for who we are – not who she who we are – not who she thinks we should be. thinks we should be. My mother has My mother has always bealways believed in me lieved in me and let me and let me know that I know that I could do anycould do anything as long thing as long

D Rebbetzin Jackie Wein, a"”h

BY REBBETZIN SORI TEITELBAUM

THIS Sunday is my mother’s 15th yartzheit. So timely! I will be giving a shiur in Young Israel of Lawrence-Cedarhurst on Shabbos in her zechus. My topic is the beautiful tefilla of Nishzechus. My topic is the beautiful tefilla of Nishmas. mas.

My mother was all about seeing the posiMy mother was all about seeing the positive in every person and in every situation. I tive in every person and in every situation. I remember one Shabbos morning a woman who remember one Shabbos morning a woman who was known to dress a bit was known to dress a bit differentdifferently came ly came i n t o i n t o

shul in a hideous dress. All the women started whispering to each other about her and snickering. My mother turned to me and simply said, “Doesn’t she look beautiful in that color?” My mother was so quick to give a genuine compliment to all of us who were blessed to be in her life. When she passed away suddenly, I decided right then and there to try to emulate her positivity. I have found that it’s truly a more beautiful world when you see all the good that is clearly there in every single person. I think I have become a better teacher because of this outlook as well.

When we were sitting shiva for my mother, every woman who came in said to us, “You know I was your mother’s best friend.” How special that she had the ability to make each person feel like they were her best friend.

Indeed, she role modeled for all of us who knew her how to treat others and live a beautiful and positive life!

D Judy Handelman

BY REBBETZIN AVIVA FEINER

smaller me, lying in bed, listening as my sisters go off to school, as I languished in my pajamas drinking tea and graciously feeling sorry for myself. “I’m too sick to get up and daven” would be my earnest kvetch to my wonderful, doting mother. Her rhetorical response, completely in line with her honest and straight Yekkishe upbringing was, “Do you think not davening is going to make you better!?”

My mother, zol zine gezunt, Judy Handelman, made Hashem an ever present One Who Loves us and cares. Thank you, Imma! MY mother taught me first and foremost to love and be loved. Above all that everything that we have to love comes from Hashem!

Our home was always open and our family Our home was always open and our family expanded to welcome many a Riverdale soexpanded to welcome many a Riverdale sojourner at our table. My mother, albeit not the journer at our table. My mother, albeit not the shul rebbetzin, gave her rebbetzin daughters shul rebbetzin, gave her rebbetzin daughters good training as her vivacious smile and warm good training as her vivacious smile and warm people person skills welcomed any newcomer people person skills welcomed any newcomer to our shul. to our shul. My childhood memories of being sick My childhood memories of being sick contain vivid contain vivid visualizavisualizations tions of a of a

D Bernette Clarke

BY LEANNE TAYLOR

the most of everything.

This is the person I grew up watching daily. I sometimes do things in my life and think to myself, “I am so lucky I am able to watch and learn from her.” I grew up as an only daughter with two younger brothers. Growing up, my mother was my best friend; I went to her with every issue and problem and she always knew how to help me. Unfortunately, I do not live close to her now but I am the way I am today because of her and my father. She is a warm and outgoing person with a huge personality. Everyone who meets her within seconds feels close to her.

Our home growing up was a place where everyone felt welcome. Our front door was literally never locked unless we were on vacation. I take for granted the way I grew up, and when I take for granted the way I grew up, and when I think of my home now, it is similar in many I think of my home now, it is similar in many ways. Back then, it was just the way we lived ways. Back then, it was just the way we lived our lives. I would come home from school and our lives. I would come home from school and never know who would be sleeping on our couch never know who would be sleeping on our couch or eating from our fridge. It was a place that or eating from our fridge. It was a place that everyone – no matter their background – felt everyone – no matter their background – felt comfortable. My mother would be still in the comfortable. My mother would be still in the kitchen cooking at 10 or 11 p.m. at night dekitchen cooking at 10 or 11 p.m. at night depending on who was there visiting just because pending on who was there visiting just because she loved entertaining and hosting others. she loved entertaining and hosting others.

My mother lives her life for other people My mother lives her life for other people and will give the shirt off her own back to help and will give the shirt off her own back to help others. I tell my children all the time, “If someothers. I tell my children all the time, “If someone needs your help, you have no choice but to one needs your help, you have no choice but to help them. Hashem has sent them to you as an help them. Hashem has sent them to you as an opportunity, and we must take it and not let opportunity, and we must take it and not let someone else get the opportunity.” This someone else get the opportunity.” This lesson wasn’t taught to me by my mothlesson wasn’t taught to me by my mother; it is just the way she is. She leads by er; it is just the way she is. She leads by example; it runs through her veins. example; it runs through her veins. My mother is the busiest person My mother is the busiest person I know and always tells me, I know and always tells me, “If you need something “If you need something done ask a busy perdone ask a busy person.” She is a son.” She is a positive and positive and happy perhappy person and will son and will always make always make

D Diane Weiss, a”h

BY REBBETZIN SARA HOPKOVITZ

ABOUT three years ago, when my family moved to the Five Towns, it was during my year of aveilus for my mother. Passing away suddenly, my mother, Diane Weiss, left her family in shock and despair. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her or miss her – especially now that my baby carries on her namesake.

What always impressed me about my mother is that she truly loved all Jews. She didn’t care about religious affiliation nor economic lifestyle, but rather showed each person true kindness and dignity. I endeavor to keep her kindness and dignity. I endeavor to keep her memory alive with my children and hope they memory alive with my children and hope they will continue her legacy and treat all Jews with will continue her legacy and treat all Jews with ahavas chinam and ahavas Yisroel.ahavas chinam and ahavas Yisroel.

D Phyllis Katz, a”h Phyllis Katz, a”h

BY REBBETZIN ROOKIE BILLET

MY mother, Phyllis Katz, mother, Phyllis Katz, a”h, was a woman of a”h, was a woman of excellence. A short paragraph can’t possibly enexcellence. A short paragraph can’t possibly encompass her constant teaching, but here goes: compass her constant teaching, but here goes:

Mom used to emphasize “learn something Mom used to emphasize “learn something new every day.” She spoke about and modeled new every day.” She spoke about and modeled loyalty to family, taking a leadership role, and loyalty to family, taking a leadership role, and also being a team player. “Your good name is also being a team player. “Your good name is more important than anything,” she would say. more important than anything,” she would say. “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can take “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can take care of today.” care of today.”

Mom always sent a handwritten thank you Mom always sent a handwritten thank you note, shared her brilliant smile with everyone, note, shared her brilliant smile with everyone, was a great listener and a wise advisor. was a great listener and a wise advisor.

“Read, write, think before you speak or act.” “Read, write, think before you speak or act.” “Use words to heal and not hurt.” “Look after “Use words to heal and not hurt.” “Look after the underdog.” “Find favor the underdog.” “Find favor (chein) (chein) and good and good sense sense (sechel tov) i (sechel tov) in the eyes of G-d and the n the eyes of G-d and the eyes of Man.” eyes of Man.”

D Sandra Weinrib

BY DEBRA L. WEINRIB

WHILE many mothers are quick to say “eat your vegetables” or “always wear clean underwear,” as I get older and watch my life unfold, I have come to see the most valuable wisdom my mother imparted is not about broccoli or even good hygiene. In fact, in just about every aspect of my life I am guided by her words, echoing Dory of Finding Nemo fame: “Just keep swimming.” She is always inspiring me to believe I can do anything if I try…as long as I don’t give up when it gets hard.

While never being unrealistic in her expectations of me, she has quietly given me the strength to face the challenges life has thrown my way by insisting I keep moving forward. I am fortunate to have been given a confidence built squarely upon the belief she’s always had in me. Of all the many gifts, this belief in myself has probably proven to be the most important. It was not predicated on a flimsy false narrative of simply dreaming or wishing my way out of any problem. Rather, it was tempered with a get-up, roll up your sleeves, get to work and get the job done your sleeves, get to work and get the job done attitude, while smiling and not ever bemoanattitude, while smiling and not ever bemoaning your fate. On the other end of whatever ing your fate. On the other end of whatever had to be done, she is always there, “sooo had to be done, she is always there, “sooo proud” of my achievements. proud” of my achievements.

I think every child needs that perfect I think every child needs that perfect combination – a solid foundation of believcombination – a solid foundation of believing in themselves and a cheerleader squarely ing in themselves and a cheerleader squarely in their corner. With her love and guidance, I in their corner. With her love and guidance, I truly see that rolling up your sleeves, facing truly see that rolling up your sleeves, facing challenges with a smile, and believing you challenges with a smile, and believing you can make a difference in your own circumcan make a difference in your own circumstances really can have a profound impact on stances really can have a profound impact on your life and the lives of people around you. your life and the lives of people around you.

D Denise Karasick Denise Karasick

BY REBBETZIN YAEL WILLIG

mother, a”h, and who know my grandmother use the word “dignified” to describe them. My mother optimizes this quality in the way she carries herself and the way she is able to balance and prioritize her family, chessed, and personal growth. My sisters and I all look up to my mother as a superwoman who is involved in every community chessed, is knowledgeable in so many areas, and continues to learn and grow, while making time for children and grandchildren. I learned from my mother to get up early and fill the day productively. I learned to connect to grandparents and my mesorah and to focus on raising the next generation. I learned how to daven and to love Eretz Yisrael. And most important, I learned to be the best version of myself that I can be. greater wom- years, unfortunately, but “Bubby Korn” stoan. In the ries of her attitude and ageless adventures Five Towns, delight my grandkids now, and she lives on my father, in their laughter and hearts. Rabbi Binyomin Kamenetzky, zt”l, is a legend. He built the Five Towns community, but in truth, it was my mother, Rebbetzin Tzirel Kamenetzky, a”h, who stood quietly but had a strong hand and helped my father and encouraged him to do his work and allowed him to become successful. My mother brought up our family on a small island on Barnard Ave. She guided us with tough love, yiras Shamayim, and ahavas haTorah. She worked tirelessly, collecting tzedakah for the poor in Israel. People hesitated to tell her they were going to Israel because she always had checks to be delivered to certain addresses. She was my role modAS I am getting older, I am hearing more and I am getting older, I am hearing more and el in her uncompromore that I am becoming my mother (mostly more that I am becoming my mother (mostly mising Torah due to the similar hairstyle), and to me, that due to the similar hairstyle), and to me, that values and is the biggest compliment. I aspire to carry is the biggest compliment. I aspire to carry the customs myself with the same dignity that I see she myself with the same dignity that I see she of her parinherited from her mother and grandmother. inherited from her mother and grandmother. ents, yet she All those who remember my great-grandAll those who remember my great-grand- embraced

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Rebbetzin Tzirel Kamenetzky, a”h

BY REBBETZIN SHANI LEFKOWITZ

love and understanding for everyone she met. She was loved and beloved by the entire community. Truly, a mother to anyone she met. EVERYONE knows the expression: behind every great man, there is a greater woman. In the Five Towns, my father, Rabbi Binyomin Kamenetzky, zt”l, is a legend. He built the Five Towns community, but in truth, it was my mother, Rebbetzin Tzirel Kamenetzky, a”h, who stood quietly but had a strong hand and helped my father and encouraged him to do his work and allowed him to become successful.

My mother brought up our family on a small island on Barnard Ave. She guided us with tough love, yiras Shamayim, and ahavas haTorah. She worked tirelessly, collecting tzedakah for the poor in Israel. People hesitated to tell her they were going to Israel because she always had checks to be delivered to certain addresses.

She was my role model in her uncompromising Torah values and the customs of her parents, yet she embraced

D Ethel Korn, a”h

BY REBBETZIN MARGIE GLATT

MY mother taught me to giggle. Think Lucy Ricardo who never took herself too seriously and you can imagine a younger Ethel Korn, a”h. Her frum, Pittsburgh-born parents raised Mom in a loving, warm home. After Stern College where she met my Dad, Mom was free to run her own household with laughter, silly games, and a unique personality that made others attracted to her. An intelligent woman who worked full-time as a reading-specialist, my mother found that people have the best stories of all. She loved meeting others and playing practical jokes but would make fun of herself more than anyone else. At times, she’d ask us if she was even “mother-ish” enough. Of course, her own grandchildren were her greatest joy, as she loved to spend time playing with them.

Mom is gone now for more than eight years, unfortunately, but “Bubby Korn” stories of her attitude and ageless adventures delight my grandkids now, and she lives on in their laughter and hearts.