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AUGUST 19, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Parenting Pearls
Rolling with the Divine Rhythm By Sara Rayvych, MSEd
Campers at Camp Revach enjoying the fun
T
wo years ago, if you had asked me what our Yomim Noraim plans were, I would’ve known more than a month in advance. I’m not an inflexible person, but I like to know some of the basics such as who our guests are and where we are davening. How else could we make yom tov if we didn’t know what to expect and had some basic plans in place? Recently I was discussing with someone about the upcoming yomim tovim, and they asked about our plans. I shrugged and said we’d figure it out before candle lighting. I was partially joking yet still somewhat serious. I could plan some things but truly everything was tentative and subject to modification. So much has changed in such a short amount of time, and I don’t think I’m the only one that has experienced this. For the record, I am not advocating irresponsibility. For example, I have some yom tov food in my freezer, and I’ve ordered machzorim. We all need to plan ahead and do what needs to be done to ensure we are ready for these most important
days. Doing teshuva is important, too, one we shouldn’t forget. That being said, we do this knowing Hashem could change everything in an instant. We’ve always known everything was up to Hashem, but I think it’s something we feel more acutely now. I don’t pretend to be a navi (or neviyah), despite my name, and I refuse to be one of those people who say they know why COVID happened. I am not suggesting or even hinting that I have the answers behind the Divine plan. What I can say is that one of the many results of the past year is that we’ve had to become more flexible and roll with the divine flow. I refuse to say roll with the divine “punches,” because I don’t fully agree with the connotations. The truth is that baruch Hashem things have been calmer now than they were previously but the challenge remains and, dare I say, some of the positive results. Chasdei Hashem, COVID has become less of a focus, and you can ask what prompted this article now. One thing I noticed was that over this summer we had a number of times that plans
were uprooted and change came quickly. From oil tankers turning over on major roadways to a bridge stuck in the open position, we’ve had to think fast and adjust swiftly, skills I feel we improved due to COVID. I personally was stuck in the gridlock soon after the oil tanker overturned, and I can say it was bad traffic. As the summer ends and we prepare for a new school year, we’re again facing change and adjustment.
The Challenge This has been a challenge for all of us, parents and children alike. As adults, we are used to having a certain perception of control over our lives. We’ve lost any ability to have that misconception. It can be challenging for us to maintain our equilibrium as the world around us shakes. We’ve had to continuously adjust as curveballs have been tossed at us. Even more so, as parents, we have the added responsibility of making sure our children are coping with the often-changing conditions. Children, in particular, thrive on routine. The younger the children
are, the more they require consistency in their day. Children benefit from knowing what to expect. This gives them stability and is important for their emotional health. Time and days are abstract concepts, but kids can rely on their daily and weekly routine to serve as signposts to guide them. For example, meals, bedtime and even car pool serve as guides for what to expect. As an example, my preschooler wanted to know when we were leaving for the pool. Someone told him 5 p.m., and he was confused; the answer was meaningless to him. I then told him which siblings would be coming home from camp before it was time to change into his bathing suit. This was a perfectly reasonable answer for him. Ironically, one kid came home at the wrong time, and he ran to get changed only to find out it wasn’t time yet. That was a hard one to explain to him since he knew what to expect, and the change was unexpected.
Displaying Flexibility Flexibility and the ability to adjust to situations as they change is
