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SEPTEMBER 24, 2020 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
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TJH
Centerfold
Politician Roast * Politicians: can’t live with them, can live without them. * Never have so few stolen so much from so many to achieve so little. * Honesty in politics is much like oxygen. The higher up you go, the scarcer it becomes. * Why is it that political leaders don’t seem to have all the answers until they write their memoirs?
* The government is sneaky. They raise the tax on alcohol, then make sure that the country is in such a mess that you drink more.
* A politician is one who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
* It’s tough being a politician. Half your reputation is ruined by lies, the other half is ruined by the truth!
* Little girl: Daddy, do all fairy tales begin with “Once upon a time”? Dad: No sweetie, some begin with “If I am elected.”
* Politicians are mostly people who’d had too little morals and ethics to stay lawyers.
You gotta be
kidding
A politician was a guest speaker at the golf club dinner. As the politician stood up to speak, a few of the men saw it as an opportunity to sneak off to the bar. An hour later, with the politician still talking, another man joined them. “Is he still talking?” they asked him. “Yes,” replied says the man. “What on Earth is he talking about?” they asked. “I don’t know,” the man answered. “He’s still introducing himself.”
Riddle me this? One hundred high-powered politicians are at a party. All of them are either honest or liars. You walk in knowing two things: - At least one of them is honest. - If you take any two politicians, at least one of them is a liar. From this information, how many are liars and how many are honest? See answer on opposite page
