Zakar Magazine Issue 1

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leaving the

practical money strategies in tough financial times powerful elf-care 10 -tips for couples on resolving conflict (PG 23)

new year new perspect ive new you

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Table of Contents EMOTIONAl WEll-BEING Ask The Doctor

6

CAREER SUCCESS Climbing Corporate Tree

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FASHIONISTAS! Style That Speaks

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SHEPHERdING A WOMAN’S HEART Protecting A Woman’s Most Important Asset

12

FINANCIAl EMPOWERMENT The Money Journey

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Practical Money Tips

17

Z-BOdIES! Zelf-Care

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Balanced Excellence

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dATING, MATING & RElATING Conflict Resolutions/Couples

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A WOMAN’S SElF-ESTEEM Zelf-Talk: The Me I See

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Print ISSN: 1946-6420; E-ISSN: 1946-6439; ZAKAR MAGAZINE is published by T.J. COMMUNICATIONS INC. (P.O. Box 40981, Kennesaw, GA 30160) www.zakarmagazine.com © 2009, T.J. Communications, Inc. Reproduction in whole or in part is prohibited without written permission. The information contained herein has been obtained from sources believed to be reliable; however, the information provided is not meant to replace licensed professionals but is to be used alongside. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission from the publisher. Printed in the U.S.A. All rights reserved. For reprints, contact www.zakarmagazine.com .

Z

Courtney M. Wright spent over 28 years in Corporate America with a Fortune 100 company, where she held numerous Executive level positions, including President and Vice President.

Courtney and her husband are Financial Advisors and are the principals of The Wright Financial Group, LLC. Kelly denise Gorham is the Chief Edutainment Officer and Certified Coach Practitioner of the Inspired Woman Network, an executive coaching firm, located in Conyers, Georgia. dr. lawana Gladney, president of Emotional Wellness, Inc. and renowned emotional wellness expert, has presented speeches and training sessions throughout North America to fortune 500 companies, educational institutions, organizations and churches.

Nicole d. Smith is currently the associate editor of Atlanta Woman magazine. Smith has written, produced and reported on topics that range from Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in New York City, and is also a contributing writer for Catalyst magazine, an online publication targeting young entrepreneurs.

Saint day Adeogba has been a top health and fitness lifestyle coach for over ten years and founder of YourDay E.T.C. He currently resides in Atlanta, Georgia with his wife and two children.

Sherry d. Fields is CEO of Putting Dreams Into Action, Inc. She is a life results coach and her company offers wellness coaching and educational programs.

Troy A. Young, CFP(r) is president and founder of Destiny Financial Group, which focuses on “bringing an institutional approach to personal investing”TM. A 20 year veteran of the financial services industry, Young has had affiliation with some of the world’s largest financial services companies. Married for over 15 years, he resides in Atlanta with his wife and two kids.

Julian Pouncy works with Edward Jones as a Financial Advisor where he assists clients with Investment Planning, Retirement Planning and Estate Planning. Julian earned his undergraduate degree from the University of Tennessee and an MBA from the University of Phoenix.

Letter from t he Edit or

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elcome to our premiere issue of ZAKAR MAGAZINE, the life coaching magazine for real women! This magazine is another one of my dreams come true. I have always felt that I needed to be able to access relevant, practical, timely information that can help me transform my life in significant ways IN ONE LOCATION. But I can’t carry around my Bible, health plan, my journal, articles, and LIFE COACHES in my purse. And neither can you.

Until now!

I am thrilled to offer you a unique experience within the pages of this power-packed publication. You are getting ready to hear from dynamic life-coaches on subjects that are completely relevant to where you live, right now. They will offer you the Z-perspective on self-esteem, your career, health, emotional wellness, finances, and relationships just to name a few.

Relax and get ready to journey with us. Please make sure that you have a printer handy (you are MOST DEFINITELY going to want to save this information)! For those of you (like me) that still ADORE PAPER and you want your own beautiful, full-color printed copy of this publication, don’t hesitate to contact us www.zakarmagazine.com to purchase your copy.

Pass this along to friends, co-workers, family members and Sisterfriends. ZAKAR Magazine is here—it’s what you’ve been waiting for—and we plan on becoming a life-partner with you as you endeavor to fulfill your best life!

God Bless You Always!

Jennifer Keitt Publisher/Editor-In-Chief ZAKAR MAGAZINE

Ask The Doctor!

by DR. LAwANA GLADNey

Question: Help! My emotions are all over the place.

I feel like I have to please everyone in my life and this leaves me feeling anxious and stressed ALL of time! I worry that I might collapse under the pressure. What should I do?

Dr. Gladney: Thank you for your question. Many women find themselves right where you are. I have several suggestions that will help you start focusing on your emotional health and wellbeing and help to decrease the stress in your life. t %FÍOF ZPVS TFMG BOE LOPX XIP ZPV BSF "T XPNFO JU JT TP easy to get lost in everyone and everything that when you look up, you don’t know who you are or what you like. We spend time taking care of families, friends, relationships, pets, plants, etc‌. that there is rarely time for you. It takes time to keep connected to you. t 6OEFSTUBOE XIBU ZPV OFFE UIFO UIJOL BOE QMBO BIFBE Many times things can be simplified by understanding what you really need to make life simpler for you. You would never think of buying of car, without knowing what you need and what you like. You take the time and research so you can make the most informed and economical decision. You think about the car and plan ahead for what you need. The same applies to you and your life. t 4QFOE UJNF BMPOF * DBO U CFHJO UP TUSFTT IPX vital this is to your emotional wellness. You have to spend time with you. Whether that means a day off at work, a lunch date by yourself, a movie night, a day at the spa, a hot bubble bath, a good book on the veranda, or other me-time. You have to take time to rejuvenate yourself in order to have anything to give to others.

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Please visit our website at www. zakarmagazine.com to email your question to ASK THE DOCTOR and to find out more Z-Tips for Emotional Wellness. dr. Gladney (www.emotionalwellnessinc.com)

Climbing the Corporate Tree Who Came Up With the Ladder Idea Anyway?

by COURTNey M. wRIGHT

F

or many years women have talked about “climbing the corporate ladder”. I would like to suggest to you that it is less like climbing a ladder and much more like “climbing the corporate tree!” It’s rare that we see a woman climb straight up the ladder to the top of any organization, unless she created the company herself.

I want you to know that when you climb the corporate tree you will undoubtedly face wayward limbs that go off to the left or right. You may not expect to take on certain assignments or do an extra job to get that next promotion, thinking, “Hey! That wasn’t required of the last “guy.” I’m here to tell you to expect it.

Nobody said the climb would be fair or easy.

In order to move higher in a corporate environment, you must understand the game. The game is neither fair nor easy and the game has rules that you must know and play by. First rule: KNOTS are to be expected!

The knots in the bark of the corporate tree are subtle; however, they require expert climbing ability to get around them.

Sometimes it may seem difficult to get around them; it may feel like you’re losing your grip on the tree’s trunk. This is normal and necessary. Also understand that the knots hurt your knees as you try to move past them. They hurt because you have to work harder to overcome the failures of those who came before you. Here’s a secret. No one tells you that the knots are actually scars representing the other women casualties who didn’t make it past that point in the tree. It shows where they grasped and clawed for the bark to try to hold on. But you are going to make it past the knots and to the top of the tree!

Let’s talk about how using the following Zenarios.

Zenarios are “corporate situations” that I would like for you to give some thought to. You’re going to want to decide how you would respond in that situation. You may also want to start a corporate journal writing about what God is saying to you in each zenario.

This will help you as you move upward climbing the corporate tree.

Zenario 1: You’re asked to do a job that is ‘beneath’ your level of expertise and skill. What do you do?

Know that you will undoubtedly face ‘wayward limbs’ that transverse left or right, up or down, in your corporate tree climbing experiences. These ‘detours’ are sometimes God’s way of making us slow down while preparing us for what is to come, at the next fork in the branch.

Your ResponZ: What ‘limb’ are you out on at this moment? As you seek God’s guidance for the proper response in your words and behavior. What are you going to do? _______________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ Zenario 2: You are in a very ‘hostile’ work environment with co-workers who WORK your last nerve! What do you do?

Have you ever thought about why God has you in your corporate environment, other than to get a paycheck or stroke your ego? Could it be you are there to impact the lives of other employees, co-workers/peers or your managers? Believe me, there is a reason for you being there. You must seek God’s purpose for your time in this space. Every day we are given 24 hours of life currency. How will you spend it?

Your ResponZ: Why are you in your corporate environment? Who are you supposed to impact? God cares about people, so it’s always about a people.

Write your responZ below. ___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________ ___________________________ ______________________________________________ _______________________________________________

Courtney’s Z-RULES for Corporate Tree Climbing Success!

Navigating the corporate tree for many women is uncharted territory. In many cases women have never been there. That may be especially true in your organization. This means you may not have any examples of what that might look like.

Below are my top picks for the rules that must be followed in order to “Climb the Corporate Tree” successfully. t Know your job! Be one of the best at what you do.

Study your craft and be ready to go over and beyond by participating in special projects that are not specific to your position. Example: Chair the United Way Campaign Committee for the year. t Don’t be a whiner! Even though they may ask, many times they really don’t want to know how bad things are. Don’t have diarrhea of the mouth on negative things. If you should have something that you think could be done better, never take it to anyone, until you have the solution that you think will fix that particular problem. Remember: No PROBLEM without a very good and well thought out SOLUTION! t Know your company’s history regarding promotions. Have they promoted women in the past?

This can assist you in crafting your strategy of how you will get that next promotion. The more antiquated your company’s policy is toward women in leadership, the harder you will have to work to place yourself in position to be considered. t Be at work a minimum of one (1) hour early every day. The big bosses are usually in early in the morning. This sends a signal that you are prompt and an early riser, seeking to do a great job for the corporation. If possible, have coffee with one of the top brass a minimum of weekly. Strategic use of your early morning time is incalculable.

Visit our website at www.zakarmagazine.com for all 10 of Courtney’s Rules. The Corporate Tree can be climbed successfully, if you are prayerful, skillful and strategic. I hope you will find these antidotes useful as you continue to CLIMB!

NOTES _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________

Style That Speaks

By NICOLe D. SMITH

NOTES _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________

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_______________________

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ashion is a woman’s special tool for communicating.

Think about it. Garments from Victoria’s Secret say we are sexy and curvaceously beautiful. A tailored St. John suit and Hermes scarf scream classiness at its best. A Betsy Johnson bag or two can uncloak the renegade within us.

But are you conveying the right message with what your wear? Every fashionista can – and shouldknow how to properly communicate positive messages through fashion. Check out four simple ways you can use a wardrobe to communicate ever without uttering a word.

A splash of color Color is a great way to deliver your message. The right use of color can portray vibrancy and comfort. Oftentimes, women say they love bold colors, such as red. But almost immediately many follow up by saying, “I could never pull that color off.” Know that you can. If you’re apprehensive about vibrant colors, try incorporating accent hues to your outfit. A simple grey suit for the office may seem staid and ordinary. But, that same grey suit with a yellow, red or navy blue patent leather shoe makes your outfit stand out. You can look professional and sport a lively look at the same time. And, know what message you are saying with each color. Green means calmness. Red means bold. Royal blue means we have an innovator on our hands.

Shaped like the No. 8 Women are uniquely and wonderfully shaped like the No. 8.

But often women hide their shape under boxy or baggy clothes,

which can give off the wrong message. Boxy says masculine.

Baggy says you’re uncomfortable with how you physically look and don’t want anyone see. Show that you’re in control of your life and in touch with your emotions. Simply create and show off your natural silhouette in a tasteful way. Loose the extra fabric, and try wearing a high-waist belt or pant to create the look of a small waistline. Throw on an A-line skirt or a wrap dress to show of those natural curves. People will take notice of a silhouette that tastefully projects a high-powered, polished image. And both qualities denote a leader.

A little goes a WRONG way You never want to cross over from attractive to downright vulgar. Once you cross the line, it’s hard to go back. Perceptions by people are not easily changed. There’s a way to illustrate your sexiness without looking improper, offensive or taboo. A refined woman will stay away from ultra tight shirts, hugging pants and low necklines.

Make subtle adjustments to the way you wear your clothes such as slightly opening the first button of a shirt or blouse.

Or, you can wear a colorful V-neck camisole underneath. vThese easy modifications will help you appear more attractive and relaxed, not someone who dresses inappropriately.

Be like no other You know the old adage: “Think outside of the box.”This saying certainly applies to fashion. Show that you are willing to take risks, and look for ways to reflect your uniqueness. One simple way to accomplish this is the use of accessories. When you want to be avant-garde with your clothes, wear spunky, original jewelry. Stay away from colored stockings. Instead, try putting on a one-of-a-kind necklaces, large graphic cuffs, or colorful scarves made with the finest details. Using jewelry is a fantastic way to communicate with others that you too are a rare jewel.

Wear pieces that mirror your originality. But most importantly, have fun!

f a s h i o n

Shepherdin

Protecting A Woman’s Most Impor

By Jennifer Keitt www.jenniferkeitt.com

I

can’t imagine anything worse than having your identity stolen. The thought of a stranger breaking in, stealing your assets and having access to your most private information: social security number, credit card numbers or bank accounts sends shivers down my spine. Not only would the violation be overwhelming but recovering, I would imagine, would be a super-stressful ordeal.

For obvious reasons we go to great lengths to protect our identities—we don’t want thieves to steal our private information—but do we go to great lengths to protect our hearts?

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Our heart is the private vault to all of the important issues of our life. The book of Proverbs says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do.” Proverbs 4:23 (New Living Translation) Our hearts house the essential elements that make up our total life. Everything that you do is affected by your heart: the relationships you choose; how you spend your money, even the care that you give to yourself and others.

Your heart influences the career you choose; in fact, every choice, every decisions, every thought, hope, dream

ng a woman’s

Heart

rtant Asset... Her Heart and desire is governed, directed and housed in your heart.

The heart’s job in the natural sense is to pump blood throughout our arteries to feed blood throughout our body. Its other very important role is to feed the arteries of your life—your decisions, choices, dreams and such and to make sure that your life happens. It’s got to be protected.

We must learn how to guard our heart.

But how?

To guard or protect means to cover or shield from exposure, injury, damage, or destruction. In our spiritual journey, we grow by shielding our hearts from damaging predators. We guard by making sure we never leave our hearts exposed to negative people, or thoughts, or discouraging sentiments for long periods of time. We guard by making sure we aren’t damaged beyond repair.

Before I give you some Z-Strategies on how to guard your heart, let me help bring balance to your understanding. To live is to open your heart to hurt. People hurt people and yet we need people. So I am saying to you that to guard your heart does not mean to close it off from living, loving and experiencing life (the good, the bad and the ugly). But what I am saying is that while you will probably be open and transparent with those whom you are close to in your life, you should also be aware that there are three parts of our bodies that aid significantly in helping us to GUARD our hearts. If we gain control over these three body parts, we can successfully guard the important ‘assets’ in our heart and protect our lives from destruction.

Z-Strategy #1: GUARD YOUR MOUTH

NOTES _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________ _______________________

We must watch our words because there’s a direct line from our mouth to our heart. Proverbs 4:24 says, “Put away from you a deceitful mouth, and put perverse lips far from you.” Have you noticed that whatever we say automatically drops into our heart and directs our lives? Scripture is clear, don’t say deceitful things; don’t say perverse things. The meaning of ‘deceitful things or perverse things’ is bigger than ‘curse’ words that deflate your ego or hurt others. It’s inclusive of words that talk negatively about YOURSELF as well. Bottom-line say what God says about you and others! Practice positivity in speech and help your heart stay protected from damage.

Z-Strategy #2: GUARD YOUR EYES Our eyes are the windows to our souls. Be very careful what you allow to peer into your soul. Have you ever seen a ‘fine’ man that you were instantly attracted to? I bet! Well what happened? The moment you took a look, your body, and MIND exploded! Instantly! Proving the power that what you look at has. Proverbs 4:25 says, “Let your eyes look straight ahead, and your eyelids look right before you.” Don’t get sidetracked looking at what your girlfriends have, or what the ‘Joneses’ have or the promotion that a colleague just received. Be careful what you watch, guard those eyes.

Z-Strategy #3: GUARD YOUR FEET Walk tall and proud into your destiny!

Don’t be a woman who ‘wanders.’ Imagine taking a hike, with the top of the mountain as your destination. The smartest route is the route you’re going to want to stay on. Where your feet take you is critical to your success. Stay away from paths that could lead to your destruction. In fact, Proverbs 4:26 – 27 says, “Ponder the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established. Do not turn to the right or the left; remove your foot from evil.”

Guard your heart by guarding your mouth, eyes and feet and you will enjoy the benefits of a well-protected life!

The Money Journey

by TROy yOUNG

T

he dream of most Americans in addition to owning a home is for financial independence.

Financial independence is defined differently for each individual; however, there are some basics that are required if that dream is going to be realized. In the light of the current economic environment sticking to the basics are even more important.

The journey for women that desire financial independence is a bit different than it is for men.

In addition to the changing roles that women have in the area of money and financial matters, they face challenges that are different from their male counterparts. Women face three specific challenges that men do not: 1.

2.

3.

According to the 2006 Census Bureau data women working full-time earned 69% of what men earned, based on median earnings.

Women live longer than men. According to the same research there are twice as many women age 85 and older as men.

On average women spend fewer years in the work force. Women spend 13 years less in the work force than men due to family responsibilities.

So what does a sister do? For you, the economy stinks; you’re living longer, making less money and have a short window of time to accumulate than the average man. And additionally you don’t need research to tell you that you can’t bank on a brother helping!

Well, just like a trip to Jamaica, a first date with a new prospect or the dream wedding, the journey to financial independence begins with a plan. Just as you plan your outfits, your diet and your excursion while in Montego Bay you must take the time to make a financial plan.

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Here are the steps that I recommend for your journey: t Organizing your finances t Identifying and prioritize your dreams and goals t Know the current state of your flock (Calculate Net Worth) t Establish monthly spending plan t Learn the Basics of Investing t Talk with a Tour Guide (Financial Professional) Organizing Your Finances Some key components to organizing are: Keep all important documents in one place such as a fireproof personal safe or an electronic file that is password protected. t Videotape personal belongings and maintain offsite for insurance purposes t Review insurance coverage t Order and review credit report t Created and review will t Review and update beneficiaries Identify and Prioritize Goals In most cases the act of identifying goals is not the major challenge for women. The challenge is prioritizing those goals. Quite frequently in talking with mothers that matriculated from university they struggle with the choice of funding their retirement or their child’s education.

I often remind them that in the U.S. we offer student loan programs for education; however, I have not been made aware of a government funding program for retirees (don’t bet your future on Social Insecurity!). Some common goals women have are: t Buying a house t Retirement t Starting a Business t Education for children t Paying off Debt t Establish emergency fund. t Leaving a legacy Know the state of your flock (Calculate your Net Worth) You need to start thinking of your household as a business. One of the most important documents in any business is the balance sheet.

The balance tells you where you are on a specific date in time. If it is important for public companies to calculate their value at least quarterly, you too need to know the state of your ‘business.’ The Bible tells us that we should know the state of our flocks. That being said t h e net worth is determined by identifying all that you own and its value on a particular date as well as identifying all that you owe on that same date. The difference is your net worth. It’s advisable to calculate this figure at least annually. The net worth acts as a scorecard and the idea is to have this number increase year over year.

Establish Spending Plan The spending plan is fuel that will propel you in this journey. It is the spending plan aka budget that will provide the traction needed to grow your net worth. When looking at your

cash flow you need to determine where you will spend your money, invest your money and to whom you will give money. There will always be competitors for your money, but you must be focused and disciplined. Remember it is YOUR future. If you can consistently spend less than you earn financial independence will be in your sites. The spending plan is another area that requires prioritization.

Don’t forget where your treasure is there is where your heart will be also.

Learn the basics of investing You want to get a fundamental understanding of the impact inflation and taxes can have on you reaching your goal(s). Additionally, acquire the knowledge on the benefits of diversification in a portfolio and the value of ownership of stocks of both domestic and non-domestic companies. Depending on your risk profile and your asset base you may want to gain an understanding of alternative investment vehicles.

Talk with a Tour Guide What’s the difference between a tour guide and a travel agent?

The tour guide is on the journey with you whereas the travel agent is just booking the trip.

I encourage you to talk with a financial professional (tour guide). There is wisdom in counsel. This should be someone that has knowledge, resources and experience in investment planning, retirement planning, legacy planning and any number of financial planning topics.

He or she should be able to help you navigate through all the emotions that come with money and the data pumped through the media. Your financial tour guide should also be someone that you trust exhibiting always that they have the clients’ best interest at heart.

The Journey to financial independence begins with a plan.

Apply these six steps and you are well on your way to reaching your desired financial destiny.

Practical Money Strategies for Women

by JULIAN POUNCy

R

emember the slogan that went I am woman hear me roar? Well, women are about to roar quite loudly. By the year 2010, it is estimated that women will control 60 percent of the nation’s wealth! This is due to the following three trends: t Women are earning higher salaries t Women live longer than men and inherit assets from deceased spouses and t Most household purchases are made by women.

Given that women are on the verge of controlling so much wealth, it’s imperative that women take action “with the urgency of now” to prepare for this responsibility. Taking these steps will assist women with managing assets, living a comfortable retirement and passing wealth to the next generation. The following EaZy-Money Tips can help you take control of your financial future: (cont’d on pg 26)

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Zelf-Care

The Power of

by SHeRRy FIeLDS

D

id taking better care of yourself make it onto your list of resolutions this year? If it didn’t pull the list out and add it on today. We often don’t pay attention to how well we care for ourselves until our body forces us to slow down. Now is the perfect time to make a change. The wellness industry is booming as Americans move toward preventing illness by taking better care of ourselves.

You may think it will take too much time, but lack of zelf- care can lead to many diseases in the body. Disease is your body’s way of letting you know it is out of balance and needs attention. It can show up as headaches, body aches, and fatigue. Over time the continual lack of balance can lead to major diseases such as fibroids, cancer, diabetes and high blood pressure. Benjamin Franklin said “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” and those words are true now more than ever.

Here are some zelf-care rituals that will get you started on your ounce of prevention. Don’t run out and conquer the world in a day. Instead, take a gradual approach so it is not overwhelming and you will be successful.

Zelf-Care Rituals:

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t Take five minutes a day before you shower to dry brush your skin. All you need is a natural bristle brush with a handle. This will exfoliate your skin by getting rid of dead skin cells which can trap toxins in your body. Say goodbye to dry, flaky skin after several days of dry brushing. But more importantly you are increasing your circulation, breaking up fat pockets and stimulating the flow of lymphatic fluid in your body. t Hydrate your body by increasing your water intake.

Dehydration can make you tired and continual dehydration can lead to disease in your body. Often you think you are hungry when in fact you are thirsty. Drink water first and then decide if you are hungry. If you don’t like the taste of water add slices of fruit. Take water with you everywhere you go so you are not tempted to drink other liquids. Work your way up to drinking half of your body weight in ounces every day. t Get your zzz’s. A good night’s sleep is critical for your zelf-care.

While you are asleep your body is working hard to clean up and repair itself. A lack of sleep lowers your immune system so make it a priority to get the recommended 7-8 hours of sleep every night. (cont’d on pg 26)

Balanced Excellence

by DAy ADeOGBA

H

ow many times have you started a diet - with the hopes and dreams of creating that body you have always dreamed of - only to sabotage it with your wanton desires for external indulgences? Or purchased the latest gadget on TV only to find out that fitness equipment is a great place to hang your clothes? What about feeling bombarded and overwhelmed with all of the conflicting information on health and fitness from magazines to infomercials? Well, all you have to do is take a look around and you can clearly see that you are not alone! According to the CDC (Center of Disease Control) 67% of America is over weight and 100% will be overweight by the year 2048. If we do not address this health crisis within ourselves individually and return back to a state of balance we will be overcome by the weight of the nation – no pun intended.

If you examine the word ‘health’ closely then you will realize that the root word is heal. In order for you to become healthy you must first learn how to heal. Since health is very much like wealth, it is important to build upon foundational principles that are timeless. Of the multitude of principles we can choose from, the number one principle for healing is balance. Many of us have lost perspective on what the word balance means let alone what it looks like when it comes to our health and fitness. As a solution, I present to you a simple system that will restore the balance in your health and place you on the road to sustainable results.

It’s what I call the B.A.L.A.N.C.E. Chart TM.

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Within this ‘system’ there are seven areas. Within each of these 7 areas there are a number of habits that we can choose from to restore and improve our health.

Below are the basics in each area that are guaranteed to improve your health and fitness.

B

REATH – Life on this earth starts and ends with your breath. Breathing helps to heal your body of many diseases and reduce stress. Breathing has two components the ability to take in oxygen and the ability to process oxygen.

I would recommend the following habits to jump start your breath. t Take 10 deep breaths every day and exhale slowly. t Walk at least 2 to 3 times per week at a comfortable pace where you can still hold a conversation.

A

QUA – The liquids that you consume can make a big difference in your hydration and dehydration. Many people consume caffeine, sodas and alcohol without realizing the effects it has on their system. Your body is 70% to 80% water and many of your internal organs depend on being properly hydrated. I would recommend the following as a starting point for hydration. t Drink 1oz of water for every ½ lb of body weight. If you weigh 150lbs then 75oz of water is a great start. 1 gallon is equal to 128oz. t Minimize the coffee, alcohol and soda.

L

ENGTHEN – Proper alignment prevents injury and increases power. When we stretch we reduce stress: the probability of pulled muscles and the overall toxins in our body. Having flexibility can mean the difference between staying injured all year around and having strong healthy muscles that are injury free. The following habits are guaranteed to reduce some stress in your life. t Lie down and stretch your groin, lower back and hamstrings 3x per week. Finish off with your neck and shoulders. t Do a light warm up stretch before you exercise and cool down with a deeper stretch afterwards.

A

NAEROBIC – Anaerobic exercise means lack of oxygen. In other words, when you strength train you use more glucose than oxygen as your source of fuel. This tends to create that burning effect due to lactic acid build up. You do not have to feel this burn all the time to have an effective workout.

At the same time, strength training is important for increasing lean mass, strengthening your ligaments and joints, and

the overall core of your body. Without muscles, you could not do anything. I would suggest the following as a start to building your base of strength. t Practice your squats. Start off by using a ball against a wall or holding on to a chair. Start with 3 sets of 10 to 15 squats - 3x per week. t Practice Bridge Holds. Placing your elbows and your toes on the floor. Hold yourself off of the ground for 60sec. Start with 2 sets of 60sec. – 4x per week. t Practice Push ups. Depending on your strength, you can use your knees or your toes.

Start with 2 sets of 10 – 15reps – 3x per week

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UTRITION AND SUPPLEMENTATION – No matter what diet you have attempted or read about, they all encompass the YourDay eating principles of C.B.C. (Clean, Balanced & Consistent) I simply suggest the following. t Minimize the sugars and the sweets to 1 to 2x weekly t Make sure each meal has protein, carbohydrates and fats. t Start your morning off with breakfast. t Take your basic multivitamins.

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LEANSING – This area is commonly overlooked when it comes to health and fitness. If we continue to put trash into our bodies and never fully empty it out, we create major toxic build up. In order to flush out your system I recommend the following. t Eat more fiber in order to average 1 to 2 bowel movements per day. t Start with a 1 to 3 day juice fast. t Ask your doctor and look into having a colonic.

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NERGIZE – It is important to understand how to energize the body so that in can recuperate and repair both mentally and physically. I recommend working on the following practices. t Go to bed before 10:30pm – 5x per week t Read a self-development book t Get a massage t Write down your goals and read them daily.

Remember that your health and fitness is a realtime reflection of your relationship to life. If you are interested in having a more enjoyable relationship to life then improve the choices you make around your health. day (www.yourdayetc.com)

Conflict Resolution For Couples

By Jennifer Keitt

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et’s take a look at some practical, effective ways to resolve communication difficulties.

These are 10 Z-Tips for resolving conflict. t Be ready to listen and do NOT answer until the other person has finished their statement. t Be slow to speak. Think first. Don’t be hasty with your words. Speak in such a way that the other person can understand and accept what you are saying. t Speak the truth always but do in cloaked in love. Do not exaggerate, nor pretend, nor be sarcastic or closed-minded. t Do not use silence to frustrate the other person. End all silent treatment! Explain why you are hesitant to talk at this time. t Do not become involved in quarrels that go nowhere. End all ‘heated’ disagreements.

It is possible to disagree without quarrelling. t Do not respond in anger. Period. Breathe, pause and respond using a softer, gentler response. t When you are wrong, ADMIT IT and ask for FORGIVENESS immediately! When the other person confesses to you, tell them that you forgive them (and MEAN IT by letting it go). Be sure this offense is never brought up again. t Avoid nagging. Nagging accomplishes NOTHING. t Do not blame or criticize but restore the other person, encourage them and build them up. If you are criticized or blamed unjustly, do NOT respond in the same manner. Be the bigger person. t Try ALWAYS to understand the other person’s opinion. Make allowances for differences. Be concerned about their interests.

Now is your turn to turn what you’ve learned into a lifestyle change! Commit to your own Z-POWER PLAN. My Z-Power Plan: I know I have not managed conflict well, so I commit to myself that I will do better by focusing on these THREE areas (from the list above) 1.

____________________ ___________________

2.

___________________ ___________________

3.

___________________ ___________________

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The Me I See

by KeLLy DeNISe GORHAM

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adies, how many faces do you have to wear in the course of your day? There’s the “This-Is-Too-Crazy-For-Words” face and the “I’m-So-Angry-I-Could-Scream-But-I-Can’t-Do-ItHere” face and who can forget the “You’re-Jumping-On-MyLast-Nerve-But-I-Can’t-Show-It” face. Unfortunately, we all wear some kind of mask to insulate us from the harsh realities we face in our lives. Yet at some point, we must take the time to remove the mask and deal with the “real us”.

So, who are we really when the mask comes off? Too often we buy into how those around us “see us”. Many times their misperceptions haunt and hinder us from being the women God ordained. Our boss sees us one way, our family another way, our husband or boyfriend see us in an entirely different light. Nevertheless, when you examine yourself, whom do YOU see?

Consider this, we must first be willing to look inward and take inventory of who we are now. By so doing, we can invest the time and energy into the process of becoming the women we desire to be. So how do we begin? Let’s start with three fundamental questions: Who are you? Why are you here and what does it matter that you’re here?

Who Are You? I’m not asking for your name, title, degrees or financial status but I want to know the raw essence of who you are. Do you have a good self-image? Are you emotionally whole? Do you know your worth? How do you SEE you?

How much does the opinion of others influence the way you see yourself?

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I’m sure you realize that you are more than your car…corporate status…outer beauty, etc. You have been wonderfully made!

The circumstances surrounding your birth are irrelevant; ZAKAR

the life coaching magazine for real women

purpose emerged when you were brought forth. You need only take the time to quiet yourself and draw near to the Father to learn more about who you are.

Why Are You Here? This question speaks directly to your purpose. Purpose is the core of all that we are and who we will become. Our destiny hinges upon the proper understanding and articulation of our purpose. Unfortunately, most individuals have not taken the time to define their purpose or clearly understand who they are. Consequently, they have allowed their circumstances or those closest to them to answer this question for them. Thus, the undesirable result of living this kind of life fosters feelings of stagnation, depression, frustration and hopelessness.

Ultimately, God created you for His glory! He made you for His pleasure. Yes, I hear you saying to yourself “that still doesn’t tell me what MY purpose is”. Well, that is a process you will need to yield to before you can receive the clarity you desire. Sorry, in this process there will be no quick fixes or answers. Instead, let me suggest that you examine your innate skills and abilities? I’m talking about the things that you have been doing since you were knee-high to a grasshopper. These talents (that flow instinctively within you) could give you a clue as to your purpose.

Now, I’m sure you know that I can’t fit an entire coaching session into this one power-packed article. So make sure you check out the magazine’s website at www.zakarmagazine. com so you can do the Personal Zelf-Assessment (PZA). The PZA is designed to expand your knowledge base and help you springboard into your process of discovery!

What does it matter that you are here? Consider the beauty of a tapestry. Each thread adds to the overall richness and strength of the piece. However, if you begin to pull out a single strand you’ll find that the entire masterpiece begins to unravel. Though hundreds of threads are woven together for the creation of this stunning work the loss of one single strand brings it to ruin.

Ladies, in the tapestry of life we are that single strand of thread.

Together we can make a great masterpiece for the Father but if one of us is pulled away by distractions or if we devalue our true worth we can quickly dismantle the Master’s work. What does it matter that you’re here? It matters because without you in place moving in your destiny the overall(cont’d on pg 26)

“The Me I See” cont’d tapestry will become inaccurate from the original intent of what God desired. Thus, it is imperative that we accurately identify and passionately pursue our purpose.

So, let’s recap. As we embark upon a new year, we want to take personal inventory of our Inner Man. Taking inventory will help as we seek to utilize the power contained inside us more effectively so we can fulfill our destiny. We must first identify the areas that need to be fortified.

Next, we have to ask ourselves the hard questions so that we can gain clarity around our purpose: Who are you? Why are you here? What does it matter that you are here?

As we answer these questions we want to check in with ourselves and understand: Do I have a good self-image? Am I emotionally whole? What is my purpose?

How will I actively engage in my purpose on a consistent basis?

Finally, we will make a commitment to “do the work” so that we can move forward in our personal development pursuits.

We plan to complete the PZA, Personal ZelfAssessment, online at www.zakarmagazine. com so that we can have a more comprehensive process to retool our Inner Man. How we see ourselves is just the beginning of our journey. Stay empowered and intentional throughout your process! God is good so we are well!

Kelly (www.inspiredwoman.net)

“Practical Money Strategies for Women” cont’d EAZY-MONEY TIPS: t Pay yourself first. Every time you get paid, turn around and write yourself a check to whatever savings or investment vehicle you have chosen – before you pay any other bills. Better yet, take advantage of payroll deduction, bank authorization or systematic investment plans so that your money is automatically invested before you even receive it. Such a plan, however, does not assure a profit and does not protect against loss in declining markets. t .BLF UIF NBYJNVN DPOUSJCVUJPO UP ZPVS 401(k) retirement plan or traditional IRA. Increase your contribution every time your salary goes up. Contributing lowers your taxable income and also puts your money to work providing tax deferred growth. In addition, employers contribute to most 401(k) plans in addition to the amount payroll deducted from the employee. t If eligible, contribute to a Roth IRA JO PSEFS UP NBLF UBY GSFF XJUIESBXBMT during retirement. Taxes will likely be higher in the future when you are ready to fake withdrawals from your 401k. In 2010 current income restrictions will expire clearing the way for everyone, regardless of annual income, to contribute to a Roth IRA. t Build a portfolio of stocks and bonds.

Asset allocation and diversification are keys to successful long term investing.

Determine the investment mix that is best suited for you. Consider your risk tolerance, age and time horizon when formulating the mix of stock and bonds in your portfolio. t Update your will and that of your spouse to assure a seamless transfer of wealth.

Ladies remember: the mass amount of wealth that is being accumulated by women will cause a culture change in America! You will benefit in the long run by developing sound investing and money management strategies..

“The Power of Zelf-Care” cont’d t Reduce the amount of processed and fast foods you consume. To save time prepare meals in advance and use fresh ingredients – work to minimize the items you use that are pre-made or prepackaged. These foods have lots of preservatives and high levels of sodium. Not a cook, no problem. There are lots of easy to follow, healthy cookbooks out so browse your local bookstore or ask friends for recommendations. t Make fresh vegetable and fruit juices. You can use this as a substitute for unhealthy snacks or it can be a meal. Fresh made juices are like hooking your body up to a nutritional IV, the nutrients will be immediately available for your body to use. Juices are portable so you can take one with you on the road and avoid eating something unhealthy while you are out. This is also a great way to meet the recommended servings of fruit and vegetables each day so drink up!

Sherry’s Z Coach’s MUSTS: t Pick two activities and commit to doing them consistently for a minimum of thirty days. By then they will be regular habits and you will be ready to add new self care practices to your wellness routine. Then revisit the list of suggestions and select two more items. The goal is to take small steps, make them a habit and then add more. t Identify a self care buddy. This would be someone who is willing to support you in your decision to move you up on your priority list. Ask them to join you on the journey and you can track your progress together.

Sherry (www.sherrydfields.com)

NATIONAL PRAYER CALL FRIDAy MORNINGS 6 am Jennifer Keitt & The TBw Team are praying every Friday morning for women around the world. we are committed to posturing ourselves to hear from heaven for new direction, insight, wisdom, strength and peace. wonderful things happen in prayer and we want you to join us for the wonderful things God is doing in our midst.

COdE: 495188612# CAll IN NUMBER: 712-432-1001

TOdAY’S BlACK WOMAN RAdIO SHOW For decades . . . Empowering, Educating, Equipping & Encouraging Women Globally...

Jennifer Keitt Founder/Host www.todaysblackwomanradio.com PdIA Inc. Sherry Fields President/CEO www.sherryfields.com Health and wellness company, home of the juice with me 10 day body detox program!

EMOTIONAl WEllNESS Dr. Lawana Gladney Emotional Health and Wellness 972.889.9656

THE INSPIREd WOMAN NETWORK Kelly Gorham Certified Coach Practitioner Empowerment Firm www.myspace.com/theinspiredwoman 770.483.2352 Yourday ETC Saint Day Adeogba 404.255.7788 www.yourdayetc.com Personal training and cleansing spa

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