Working Mothers in the Limelight: Balancing Life between Family and Career

While career is essential for one's livelihood, providing employment and financial stability in the long run, it can be demanding, especially when one has other responsibilities to attend to. However, being an employee has its benefits, including social security, compensation, retirement plans, and life insurance. Life, on the other hand, refers to one's role outside of work. Achieving a successful life requires finding a balance between work and personal life. In Benguet State University (BSU), you only get to see how your instructors teach, but have you ever considered their experiences as working parents? This article aims to shed light on the challenges faced by working mothers as they strive to balance their career and family life.

Work-life balance, as defined by the Cambridge Dictionary, refers to the amount of time one spends working compared to the time spent with family and engaging in leisure activities. Workfamily conflict arises when work and family responsibilities become incompatible, leading to difficulties in meeting both demands. This conflict can be particularly challenging for mothers, who are often viewed as the primary breadwinners in the Philippines, leading to a rise in the number of mothers entering the labor force.

The study titled "Balancing Life: The Struggles of Working Mothers with Children 5 Years Old and Below" by Alima N. Bedejim, Kacy O. Labon, Rhea S. Loncio, and Ruth S. Batani interviewed 25 women employees of BSU, both permanent and nonpermanent, who have children aged zero to five years old. The study aimed to shed light on the challenges faced by working mothers in balancing their roles as both a parent and an employee.

As found by the study, mothers with children aged zero to five years old have frequent responsibilities as their children are highly dependent on them. Aside from breastfeeding, they require a lot of attention as they grow and develop. While having a child brings joy and happiness, familial responsibilities double, leaving the work-life balance unbalanced.

“When my son was two years and my daughter is four years of age, I started studying. I enrolled BS Bio and attended school on Saturdays and full mom from Monday to Friday. With two kids to attend to, walang katapusan ang trabaho sa bahay. Sometimes, it makes me irritated kasi pagod ako sa monotous na household chores,” Elizabeth Dom-ogen said, Department of Biology, faculty member.

More concerns were uncovered:

Knots on time and assistance

Working mothers face challenges in managing their time as they juggle multiple roles as both a parent and an employee, leading to conflicts between their responsibilities. The research shows that working mothers spend around eight hours and 32 minutes on their job on average, leaving little time for personal responsibilities and self-care.

One significant impact of this time management challenge is the lack of sleep and rest, which can adversely affect their physical wellbeing. The study highlights that working mothers often do not get enough rest, leading to exhaustion and stress that can carry over into the following day. This lack of rest can result in decreased productivity and lower work performance, creating a vicious cycle that further complicates their worklife balance.

“My biggest struggle is on how to budget my time to do all my chores as a mom, requirements as I am a graduate student, and do my job as an employee. I work from Monday to Friday, then sa Saturday, I go to school and I bring home my work and requirements kapag di ko natapos sa office,” Domogen added.

Unavailability of child care and assistance

Furthermore, the lack of child care and assistance was a problem. Due to issues of trust, quality care, and monetary obligations, parents find it difficult to find the right childcare for their children. The majority seek the assistance of relatives mothers, and grandmothers to care for their children without payment because they believe it is their right to watch over their grandchildren.

“I need to utilize my time wisely especially kasi online ang classes ngayon. Hindi rin ako masyadong nahihirapan kasi andito sina mama at papa, may katulong ako sa pag-aalaga sa kanya (baby). Nabibigyan ko rin ng time iyong studies ko pati mga other priorities ko, kailangan lang talagang magmultitask. Yung difficulties ko lang ay kapag nagsabay ang responsibilities ko as a mother and as a student, if may exam ako at nagkasabay na gising siya, kailangan ko siyang unahin bago ko i-take yung exam ko. Hindi ko rin maiwasan na magduda sa sarili ko as a mother kasi mas nagiging malapit siya sa mga lagi niyang kasama,” said by Ana, not her real name, student-mother of BSU.

Remarkably, husbands also do child care; others rely on child minding centers and hire helpers to do household chores.

“If some of the household chores are not done, my husband finishes them kasi alam niya kung gaano kahirap mag-alaga ng bata; makukulit pa kaya nakakapagod pero masaya naman,” Dom-ogen shared.

In the event that the father and relatives are not present, mothers hire nannies, who are paid an average of Php2,000 to 5,000 per month. Those who use child care services, on the other hand, pay a monthly fee ranging from Php2,000 to Php4,000. Child care facilities in La Trinidad, Benguet also provide tutorials and an opportunity for children to socialize with other children.

Feelings of guilt and doubts

Despite having the assurance of their children being taken care of, the majority (76%) of the mothers admitted having felt guilt and doubts. If something happens to their children, they end up blaming themselves for their lack of quality time and attention.

“Most of my time is spent on my work actually. Some of my family responsibilities were not done on time, others were delegated to the members of the family. I felt all the anxieties. The feeling of dissatisfaction was there because I want my work/ responsibilities to be excellent, but I cannot give my full time and attention to each task that I was supposed to do,” said a College of Teacher Education (CTE) faculty member.

Meanwhile, 24% of mothers were confident in their effectiveness as mothers despite their limitations. Those who are breadwinners of the family admitted that feeling guilty is not an option. They reasoned out that they would feel a lot guiltier if they cannot support their children and family.

Concerns about children’s upbringing

Consecutively, concerns about the child’s upbringing emerged. Their absence as mothers create a feeling of insecurity for their children may not be disciplined the way they want them to be. Some of the working mothers expressed that negative behaviors or attitudes toward their children were starting to manifest. Mothers thought that these behaviors were caused by them being away from work most of the time.

Mother-child relationship

The mother and child relationship is also affected. Their children get closer to the ones they mostly spend their time with which lets the mother end up being envious.

“The more a child spends time with a certain person, the tighter the bond they create. They behave differently, depending on their familiarity, comfort, and attachment. It is not impossible that a child gets closer to another person apart from his/ her mother. But that does not make the child closer to his/ her mother unless the child is adopted. On the second part, I cannot totally agree that a mother will get or should get jealous because, at the end of the day, she would still be the one whom her child will look up to,” expressed Josielyn Tulio, Bachelor of Secondary Education (BSED) IV student.

To address this concern, mothers take every opportunity to spend quality time together to make up for their lack of time and assure that they are recognized and loved by their children.

Challenges on Marriage

Working mothers’ work setup does not just affect the mother-child relationship, but also their marriage. The majority of them unveiled that they do not have enough time with their husbands since they are tired from work. The study showed that this issue in marriage does exist. On the other hand, mothers make sure to spend quality time together with their families.

No proper time for self

When mothers were asked about their ‘me time’, it was not surprising that most of them put ‘the self’ at the bottom of their priorities. Only an average of two hours was allotted to themselves. This two-hour time includes preparing for work, changing clothes, maintaining hygiene, and such. It is important to note that this does not include relaxation and that is done alongside other duties. In inclusion, almost all of the mothers work overtime during weekends and holidays which leaves almost no time for the family.

Work issues

Based on the research, another problem that stirs is work issues. Despite having supportive and understanding supervisors and co-workers, they still have hesitations when asking ‘favors’ such as work leave and tagging their children with them. Though most of the working mothers feel their contributions are valued by the university, some of them revealed that they are not mostly due to the lack of support and motivation they get from the university.

Work-life balance

Their struggles show that there is an unbalanced work-life. However, most of the working mothers denoted that they have a balanced work-life while the rest stated otherwise. If their situations are to be assessed by ‘outsiders’, it would reveal that these mothers do not have a balanced work-life.

Intervention on Child care

Furthermore, the study suggested that a childminding center could help and lessen their struggles as working mothers in the university as it could be beneficial not just to them but to student mothers as well. However, some also reiterated that putting up a child minding center will only overlap interests.

“Since the College of Teacher Education has its own Early Childhood Development Center, I think it’s an overlapping interest if we will have another related center within the university. Hindi ba tuturuan ng magbabantay sa mga bata ang mga bata under their care? Kung babantayan lang nila without learning intervention, hindi ba sayang lang ang time? And besides, 5-year-old children is part of the K-12 program. They are part of the basic education,” College of Teacher Education (CTE), faculty members.

Mothers, in nature, have multiple responsibilities that when overwhelmed, could result in multiple challenges as well. Clearly, there is a struggle when it comes to balancing life between family and career. Intervention should be applied to address if not, lessen the load of working mothers to attain work-life balance. Being an employee while taking care of a child is a difficult task. Even being away from your child creates uncertainties in the mind, at some point. A mother’s care is what a child needs. She will always know what is best for her child -much more than what a nanny does.