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Bill had a parrot that cursed. A lot. On thanksgiving Eve, his parents were on the way over and the poor guy couldn’t get the parrot to stop swearing. Frustrated, he put the parrot in the freezer for a brief moment and yelled, “You chill out!!” When he removed the parrot, the bird nodded toward the frozen turkey and very politely asked Bill (without a single curse word): “Pardon me, sir. But if I got a minute in the cooler for swearing, I gotta know... what did that other poor guy in there do?”

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by Robyn Dawson The bird is the word in this week’s edition of Tidbits. Take a break from your raking and shopping and baking and cleaning (oh no, the in-laws are coming!) while we “talk turkey.” • You may have heard that Benjamin Franklin wanted the turkey to be our national bird, but that’s not entirely true. Rather, he thought that any bird – and then mentioned the turkey as an example – was a better choice than the eagle. In a letter to his daughter, he made reference to the eagle’s “bad moral character. It perches in a tree,” he continued, “then steals the prey caught by a ﬁshing hawk, because the eagle is too lazy to hunt for itself.” • The slang use of the word “turkey” to indicate something as being inferior or a failure dates back to late 1920s show business. In vaudeville, an act that failed to sell tickets (or one that was lame enough to be booed off stage) was labeled a “turkey,” presumably due to the bird’s reputation for stupidity. • The “Turkey Trot” was all the rage at dance halls during the very early 1900s. Performed to ragtime music, the dance was done with four sideways hopping steps on one foot, then four hops back on the other foot. • The Navajo were likely the ﬁrst Native Americans to domesticate the turkey. They worked to keep wild turkeys away from their crops, but were losing that battle. So they turned the tables and fenced the birds in. By feeding and fattening them, they were easier to handle (and yielded more meat). Besides dinner, turkeys also provided decorative ornamental feathers for the Navajo. • Butterball turkeys have been a holiday tradition in the United States for the past 50 years. Many home cooks are under the impression that the name means that the bird had been injected with butter, but this is turn the page for more!

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By Samantha Mazzotta

Cedar or Vinyl Siding? Q: I have a 31-year-old raised ranch with cedar shake siding. The south side of the house gets all the sun and the shakes are dilapidated. To re-side with vinyl on all sides, the estimated cost is $10,000. Is it advisable to try and replace the shakes only on the one side? Will this reduce its resale value? -- Punyada B., Middlebury, Conn. A: That’s a tough call, because siding material is such a personal choice. I know for sure that the damaged and deteriorating siding is affecting the value of your home, and that a quality repair will maintain or raise that value. My question to you is this: If it will cost $10,000 to sheathe the entire house in vinyl siding, what will it cost to just redo the cedar shakes on the one side? If the cost is less or comparable, then consider going with new cedar shakes. There are at least an equal number of beneﬁts to cedar. You’re maintaining the house, which will maintain its value. Cedar is a “green” choice of material (it’s renewable and has less environmental impact), and it lasts just as long as vinyl siding when properly cared for. New cedar will look strikingly different in color from the older shakes on your home, but there are methods to “weather” it so it will blend a bit better. Plus, there are homebuyers who will speciﬁcally want all-cedar siding, rather than a mix of siding materials. Learn more about cedar siding by visiting http://www.cedarbureau.org. If you decide to use vinyl siding on that one side, make sure the contractor knows his material and knows how to prevent deterioration at the corners where the vinyl meets the cedar siding on the rest of the house. Certain materials will speed up deterioration of the wood shakes, and colors leaching from the shakes could stain the edges of the siding. A good buffer material will be needed between the two. If you redo the entire house in vinyl, then read up on the care and maintenance of vinyl siding. While it does needs less maintenance than wood siding or shakes, vinyl siding is not repair- or maintenance-free. It must be protected from extreme heat (such as barbecue grills) and corrosive chemicals, and should still be cleaned on a regular basis. HOME TIP: Moss growth on cedar shakes and shingles can be reduced by nailing copper or zinc strips along the ridge cap of the roof or above the shakes; rain runoff from these strips will retard fungal growth. Send questions or home-repair tips to homeguru2000@hotmail.com, or write This Is a Hammer, c/o King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475. (c) 2008 King Features Synd., Inc.

Barter Is Smarter

TENDER TURKEY TRIVIA (continued): not the case. Butterball is actually a specific breed of turkey. They have all-white feathers and have extra-broad breasts. A few weeks after sales peak in America, Butterball becomes the best-selling brand in Great Britain at Christmas. (Remember, our U.K. friends don’t celebrate America’s Thanksgiving!) • Roasted turkey drumsticks are staple snacks at Renaissance Festivals across America. The turkey is native to North America, however, and it didn’t make its way across the Atlantic until the mid-16th century. The bottom line is that turkey is not authentic medieval food. Back in those days, kings and knaves and knights feasted on peacock and swan, neither of which is readily available in most American restaurant supply stores. • Caruncle, Wattle & Snood… no, this isn’t the name of a law firm. Those are the proper terms for the bits of fleshy skin that grow on a turkey’s head. The snood is the flap that flops over its beak. The caruncles are the colorful growths on the throat, and the wattle is the skin that hangs under its throat. When all three turn bright red, the turkey is either sexually excited or very angry. In either case, you’ll want to stay out of its way! • Only male turkeys – known as toms – make the “gobble, gobble” noise we associate with the birds. Females (hens) make a clicking noise. Like chickens, domestic turkeys are bred for meat, so their weight and shape prevent them from having the ability to fly more than a few feet. Even though they can’t fly, however, turkey by-products are very welltraveled. When Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin tore into their first meal on the surface of the Moon in July 1969, those foil packets offered roast turkey with all the trimmings.

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PAWS CORNER By Sam Mazzotta

How to Correct a Pet Owner Q: My son and his girlfriend have two Pomeranians. One is an 8-year-old female, “Sassy,” which the girlfriend had before they got together. The other is a male, “Junior,” now about 21 months old. Junior is considered my son’s dog, and he disciplines him by flipping him over on his back and scolding him. Now the dog growls and bares his teeth at my son if he comes near him. The dog was very loving at first. What do you think about this, and how can it be fixed? -- Rod S., via e-mail

A: It’s clear that you don’t approve of the way your son disciplines his dog, and I agree with you -- that’s a terrible way to correct a dog. There are ways to show dominance without threatening your pet. Part of the issue is that Junior is a Pomeranian, a breed that can be quite temperamental. Pomeranians also can become very neurotic in the wrong kind of environment. Certainly, not all Pomeranians are ill-tempered and neurotic, but they are small dogs -- energetic and excitable -- that often don’t tolerate lots of people or loud noises. I don’t have a lot of advice for you, unfortunately. Junior has some issues, but there are no clear turn the page for more! signs of neglect or abuse. And your son probably will not listen to advice you have to give -- he might even be insulted that you think he’s treating Junior wrong. The best that you can do is lead by example. When visiting, be very calm and soothing around Junior. If the dog’s behavior interferes with your LADIES NIGHT visit, kindly ask your son to place Junior in anothDEC. 5TH / 6-8PM er room until the visit is over. If you have a dog, Fun filled evening of women orientreat him or her as you normally would whenever tated entertainyour son visits, but don’t preach. I guarantee he ment & spoiling. See the latest is watching how you treat your dog.

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(the one ring) (getting out but sleeping less)

TENDER TURKEY TRIVIA (continued): • Unlike chicken and duck feathers, turkey feathers are too stiff for use as stuffing for pillows and duvets. Some larger, more colorful turkey feathers may be saved and sold for decorative purposes or craft projects, but most are ground up into compost. • The classic “Turkeys Away” episode of the 1970s sitcom WKRP in Cincinnati was reportedly based on a real event. WKRP creator Hugh Wilson had a “friend” that worked for an Atlanta radio station. The station decided to toss live turkeys out of a helicopter for a Thanksgiving promotion. Just like the TV episode revealed, none of those involved with the stunt were aware that domestic turkeys couldn’t fly. A local shopping center was bombarded with turkeys hitting the ground “like bags of wet cement.” (“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!”) • Big Bird of Sesame Street fame is clad in a costume made of real turkey feathers – those plucked from the hind end of the birds, to be more specific. A company called American Plume and Fancy Feather selects the feathers for this use. The Children’s Television Workshop then inspects the feathers (nine out of 10 of them are rejected), and the chosen white feathers are dyed yellow and attached to Big Bird’s outfit. • Even the most casual bowler knows that it’s called a “turkey” when a player bowls three strikes in a row. Back in the early 1900s, bowling alley proprietors offered live turkeys as an award to any player that scored three consecutive strikes. These contests were typically held around Thanksgiving and Christmas, but even during the times when a bird wasn’t presented as a trophy, the term was still used to congratulate a bowler for a job well done. • It’s now a Thanksgiving tradition for a live turkey to be presented by the National Turkey Federation to the U.S. president (who grants it an official pardon). Instead of being earmarked for Thanksgiving dinner, the turkey is then relegated to a farm or petting zoo to live out its life. Many reports state that Harry Truman was the first president to grant the bird a pardon, but that is not true. John F. Kennedy was the first president to declare that the gift gobbler would not appear on the White House dinner table. • The classic folk melody called “Turkey in the Straw” first gained popularity via minstrel shows in the mid1800s. There is no copyright information available regarding the song, so the author of the tune remains a mystery. However, the song has earned at least one unusual place in pop history: in the United States, it is the tune most used by ice cream trucks to attract customers. • Sources reveal that none of the hot oil turkey fryers available on the market have been approved by Underwriters Laboratories, for the simple reason that the gadgets are just too dangerous. Even when the consumer follows the manufacturer’s instructions to the letter, the units are unsteady and unpredictable. If you plan to deep fry your turkey, do not do it indoors and never leave the fryer unattended. The End

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Dear Dave, I cashed out my portfolio several months ago, because I just couldn’t sleep at night with all the market swings that were happening. What do I do now that I have the cash? Max Dear Max, That’s a tough one. Personally, I wouldn’t have cashed out. The good thing is that you cashed out high and now you can buy low. The bad thing is the market may go even lower after you jump back in the mix! But your biggest problem isn’t your sleeping habits. It sounds to me like you got caught up in the doomsday talk and forgot to think about things from a longterm perspective. I recommend that you go back to what I’ve been teaching for years. When it comes to investing, take the long road. Don’t worry about what’s happening today. Don’t worry about what may happen next week, next month or even six months from now. An investment is something you leave alone at least for ﬁve years. If you look back over the history of the stock mar-

Dear Dave, My wife and I have about $20,000 in credit card bills. We’re very serious about getting out of debt, and we’ve been thinking about selling her wedding ring we bought back in our big spending days. It not the original ring, but it’s made up of diamonds from the original. We’ve been told its worth about $30,000. Should we sell the ring to pay off our debt? Everett Dear Everett, You need to hang on to that ring. I understand how badly you guys want to get out of debt, but a wedding ring is more than just a piece of jewelry – even if it’s not the exact original. A wedding ring – whether it cost $30 or $30,000 – is a symbol of love and commitment, hopes and dreams, and the promises you made to each other and God on your wedding day. You can pay off your debt by delivering pizzas parttime for a year and a half. It’ll be tough, but remember it’s only temporary. Take any extra, honest work you can ﬁnd. But don’t ask your wife to give up her wedding ring! She may say okay now, but you’ll both regret it later. - Dave * For more great ﬁnancial advice from Dave, please visit www.davesays.org

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Seniors Want Meaningful Work We already know this, but now it’s official because a study was done: We seniors want meaningful work as we get older. We’re not ready to completely retire, and we want our work hours and days to matter. The MetLife Foundation, in collaboration with Civic Ventures, did a survey to determine just how many of us want to work, and what nonprofit workplaces think of having older workers. They contacted groups in all fields, such as community agencies, environmental, social services, health care, youth and crisis intervention. The results are good: We’re wanted. Our experiences are valuable. We’re reliable and committed. In trade, employers offer flexible hours, including part-time schedules. They even have a name for us now: Encore Workers. There’s a Web site for those of us

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who need ideas on starting our own encore career: www.encore.org. There’s a section on how to get started finding our next career, including knowing our goals, revamping our resume, acing the interview -- and figuring out how to pay for it if we still need a healthy income. Don’t miss the career-finder feature. Put in your ZIP code and your area of interest, and it lists positions. Just clicking through my ZIP code turned up some interesting jobs: history buff to put together a local history, nonprofit fundraiser and seasonal retail help in a toy store. All are paid jobs. If you find that you need a job again (or still) and doubt your skills, there’s a group that can help. Experience Works assists low-income seniors with training and links to local programs to get seniors into jobs. Learn about it at www.experienceworks.org or call 1-866397-9757. Matilda Charles regrets that she cannot personally answer reader questions, but will incorporate them into her column whenever possible. Write to her in care of King Features Weekly Service, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or send e-mail to columnreply@gmail.com. (c) 2008 King Features Synd., Inc.

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THE KITCHEN DIVA By Angela Shelf Medearis

THE FIRST THANKSGIVING

Barriers to Opening a Small Business

The General Accountability Ofﬁce recently reported to the House and Senate Committees on Small Business on the status of The Military Reservist and Veterans Small Business Reauthorization and Opportunity Act of 2008. The Act, in a nutshell, was an update and expansion of a similar one in 1999. Its original purpose was to bring federal agencies together under one umbrella to aid service-disabled veterans who wish to open small businesses. Years ago, all the pertinent agencies entered into Memos of Understanding (MOUs), which outlined exactly how each agency would coordinate with the others to bring about the desired end results. For example, the Department of Veterans Affairs, Small Business Administration (SBA) and Association for Small Business Development Centers signed an MOU to establish a clearinghouse for information on assistance programs on the federal, state and local levels. The GAO report concluded that: • Federally mandated objectives were not being met, and that lack of coordination adds to the problems veterans face in wading through the federal programs. • There have been delays in setting up an interagency task force to bring all the programs together. For example, it was required that the task force be set up within 90 days of Feb. 14, 2008, with the SBA in charge. As of October, it had not, and the SBA didn’t know when it would be. • Established MOUs were gutted. The SBA said they “institutionalized” their MOUs, whatever that means. The VA’s subsequent MOUs were signed, but not by the SBA. • The information clearinghouse, which was to have information for service-disabled veterans all in one place, was never established. At this point, service-disabled veterans wanting to start a business are still being sent to multiple programs and agencies, and no one agency has all the information available from all the programs.

My ﬁrst Thanksgiving dinner as a teenaged bride married to a native Texan was a culture shock that stands out in my memory to this day. There were a lot of things about my newly adopted state and my new relatives that I simply didn’t understand. Throughout dinner, I took comfort in the fact that there were probably similar cultural misunderstandings between the Pilgrims and the Native Americans. When I ﬁrst got married, I was one of the worst cooks on the face of the earth. After a few months of trying to digest my burnt offerings, my husband, Michael, began to look like the “After” photos for a weight-loss ad. Out of sympathy for my rapidly thinning husband, his relatives invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner. I was scared, lonely and homesick, and the sight of all the unfamiliar dishes that covered the beautifully laid table made me even sadder. Of course, there was a huge turkey, but it was smoked, not roasted. I politely took a slice. There was big bowl of potato salad, topped with sliced, hard-boiled eggs and sprinkled with paprika. My mother never served potato salad unless it was in the middle of the summer and the smell of barbecue was in the air. This Texas-style Thanksgiving dinner had me thoroughly confused. Finally, I recognized something familiar! The candied sweet potatoes looked delicious and were always a staple at my family’s holiday dinner. The sugary aroma reminded me of home. I took a large helping. I tried a few bites of food. Everything was delicious! Under the amused eye of my husband’s grandmother, I cleaned my plate. I’ve been a convert to this African-American Texan-style Thanksgiving Day menu ever since. This Thanksgiving tradition has endured and improved every year, just like our marriage and my cooking.

TEXAS-STYLE CANDIED SWEET POTATOES 6-8 medium-sized sweet potatoes or yams, peeled and sliced 1/2 cup whole milk, warmed 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 cup pineapple juice 2/3 cup sugar 1/3 stick butter, softened 2/3 teaspoon cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon allspice 2/3 cup raisins 1/2 lemon, thinly sliced

Put the sweet potatoes in a medium bowl and set aside. In a bowl, mix together the milk, vanilla extract, pineapple juice and sugar. Pour this liquid mixture over the sweet potatoes. The acid in the pineapple juice may not blend well with the milk, but it will mix together during the baking process. Add the butter, cinnamon, allspice and raisins, and stir to combine. Transfer to a baking pan and smooth out the top. Place the lemon slices over the sweet-potato mixture. Bake in a preheated 375 F oven for 45 to 60 minutes. Remove from the oven and enjoy hot or cold. *** Angela Shelf Medearis is an award-winning children’s author, culinary historian and author of ﬁve cookbooks. Her latest cookbook, “The New African-American Kitchen,” is in bookstores now. She’s known as The Kitchen Diva and is the executive producer and host of the “The Kitchen Diva!” -- a television cooking show. Visit her Web site at www. divapro.com. (c) 2008 King Features Synd., Inc.

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*Have you started blogging? Or are you still asking yourself “why blog”? Especially since everyone else has a website. *There are a number of reasons why you want to blog instead of building a website. 1. Search Engines love blogs more than websites. 2. Blogs are characteristically more interactive than websites. 3. Generally speaking, blogs are easier to maintain than websites. *The ultimate would actually be to have a website and blog tied together as they will help each other grow. *Now you know “why blog”, next time we will begin comparing different types of blogging interfaces you can use to blog.

SEO & Beyond Advice Column

Guy Siverson (SEOGuy) provides interactive Super-Blogs & Internet Marketing advice for everyone. Email: Guy@SEO-And-Beyond.com or call 993.7215 with web related questions you would like me to answer. http://SEO-And-Beyond.com

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Tidbits® of Spokane County, WA FITNESS

& HEALTH

lives -- as long as arteries have. Most of these grafts TO YOUR stay open for 20 or more years. GOOD HEALTH Many heart surgeons use an arm artery as the source of their grafts. The arm does quite well with only one by major artery. These grafts are better than vein grafts. By Paul G. They’re arteries. They have a life span between that Donohue, M.D. of a vein graft and that of the inner chest artery graft.

Arteries Make Better Grafts Than Veins DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I had a triple coronary artery bypass in April 1998. The vessel used for the grafts was taken from my leg. A cardiologist tells me that the leg vessel graft needs replacement in eight years. It is not as good as grafts taken from arteries in the arm or the chest wall. I feel ﬁne. It has been 10 years since my operation. Am I living on borrowed time? Why isn’t the leg vessel as good as the others? -- W.P. ANSWER: Hold on a minute. Predictions about the longevity of grafts for clogged arteries are hazardous. The source of the graft is not the sole factor in its life span. The general health of the person getting the graft is most important. Diabetes, for example, has a negative effect on all blood vessels, including grafts. If graft recipients make major changes in how they live -- watch their weight, keep their cholesterol low, get exercise, pay attention to blood pressure and don’t smoke -- then their grafts are bound to stay healthy for a long time. The leg vessel you speak of is a long and large leg vein. Veins are not the same as arteries. Arteries have to stand up to pressure that is much higher than it is in veins, so arteries are tougher. At ﬁve years, 75 percent of vein grafts are functioning well, and at 15 years, 50 percent are still in good shape. Some last much longer. The “chest wall” graft isn’t from the chest wall. These grafts come from arteries within in the chest. They are directly hooked up to heart arteries, so they have long

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The booklet on coronary artery disease discusses this common problem in depth. Readers can order a copy by writing: Dr. Donohue -- No. 101W, Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475. Enclose a check or money order (no cash) for $4.75 U.S./$6 Canada with the recipient’s printed name and address. Please allow four weeks for delivery. *** DEAR DR. DONOHUE: My question is brief. Has anyone ever had a heart attack or dropped dead while taking a stress test on a treadmill? -- R.W. ANSWER: Somewhere around 1 in 2,500 have had a heart attack while undergoing a stress test. Deaths have been reported to be 1 in 10,000. Those numbers make it sound like stress tests are dangerous. They aren’t. The heart-attack problem is actually not as great a problem as it sounds. The people who experienced a heart attack would have had one shortly and, most likely, in circumstances that might not have been favorable for treatment and recovery. A heart attack during a stress test occurs in a place where emergency treatment is readily available. The deaths are tragic and inexplicable. *** Dr. Donohue regrets that he is unable to answer individual letters, but he will incorporate them in his column whenever possible. Readers may write him or request an order form of available health newsletters at P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475. (c) 2008 North America Synd., Inc. All Rights Reserved

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Almost everyone we know has a ‘friend’ who knows how to fix computers. That friend, typically, uses computers only at home to play video games. While it might seem that they resolve your issue, more often than not it ends up being worse. Here’s why: There are two types of computer technicians, those who fix problems, and those who circumvent them. An example of circumventing a problem, is suggesting the use of Firefox instead of Internet Explorer, because Firefox is ‘more secure’ or ‘(insert your own phrase).’ In many instances, the reason people suggest switching from Internet Explorer, is so you don’t notice the different issues that still plague your system. It’s like, closing your eyes when driving so it seems like everything is O.K.. Recently, during a presentation, we calculated that there are at least 600,000 different hardware variables for a desktop computer, over a 5 year period. Add onto that the incalculable number of different pieces of software you have installed on each system and ask yourself; Can Joe really fix my computer?

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Let the Chase Be In 2003, Matt Kenseth won what was then the Winston Cup championship with relative ease, and the next year the Chase was born. For the next few years, the 10-race, 10-driver format did reasonably well, its opponents pleased and its detractors appalled, except for the fact that, most of the time, at least one of its most prominent drivers -- Dale Earnhardt Jr., Jeff Gordon and/or Tony Stewart -- managed not to make the cut. Now the ﬁeld is 12. Earnhardt, Gordon and Stewart are all in it, though none are particularly relevant at this latter stage. On the other hand, in each of the Chase’s four previous years of existence, the champion’s margin has increased. Kurt Busch won by eight points in 2004, Tony Stewart by 35 in ‘05, and Jimmie Johnson by 56 in ‘06 and 77 in ‘07.

Predictably, there is talk of the Chase being adjusted once again. No, no, please, a thousand times, no. This format has already been tilted way too far from fair in pursuit of exciting. It’s already impossible to compare the champions prior to 2004 to those since. There’s a fundamental difference. The entire season, not just the final 10 races, used to matter. Now 26 races are run to narrow the field to 12, and 10 are run to determine a champion. Stock-car racing, this upwardly mobile sport, lacks the security of other sports, and at some point, in order to be properly respected, it needs to establish that security. Baseball once tinkered with the format of its World Series, straying from the best-of-seven format. That was in the teens, as in “before 1920.” Sure, playoffs have been added leading into the finals, just as they have been extended in every other professional and college sport. It could be argued, though, that it’s fair to make the process more complicated because the number of teams has proliferated over the years.

The Chase isn’t going away. That’s less likely than abandoning the current car design, and neither is even remotely possible. So quit tinkering. Let the system work. Accept the possibility that there will be good years and bad years. Make a plan and stick with it. Then everyone will be accustomed to the Chase, and it will gain in familiarity and from longevity what it lacks in adulation. (c) 2008 King Features Synd., Inc.

PHOTO CUTLINE: Predictably, there is talk of the Chase being adjusted once again. (Getty Images)

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