YOUR BLUEPRINT FOR BUILDING Rituals + Routines THAT LEAD TO
BIG Breakthroughs
Written by JILL GILBERT of WICKED AWESOME YOU
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Your Blueprint for Building Rituals + Routines That Lead to Big Breakthroughs
Author: Jill Gilbert of Wicked Awesome You
CONTENTS 0
INTRODUCTION
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IT’S TIME FOR A SHIFT IN MINDSET
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WHY IS IT SO HARD TO CHANGE?
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WHY GOALS HAVE HOLES
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STOP RUNNING HABITS AND START BUILDING ROUTINES
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STARTING SMALL
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BUILDING A BETTER SYSTEM
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THE WICKED WELLNESS METHOD STEP 1: THE ASSESSMENT
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THE WICKED WELLNESS METHOD STEP 2: THE SETUP
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THE WICKED WELLNESS METHOD STEP 3: START LAYERING
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THE WICKED WELLNESS METHOD STEP 4: THE GIDDY-UP & DO IT TECHNIQUE
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THE WICKED WELLNESS METHOD STEP 5: MASTERING YOUR ROUTINES
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WHEN YOUR ROUTINES GO OFF TRACK
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Introduction
WELCOME TO WICKED WELLNESS
WE ALL HAVE A BASIC BURNING DESIRE TO BE WELL. The concept of ‘wellness’ or ‘being well’ in the modern world is a bit more complex than it was 20 years ago because today, we have the burden of knowledge. Wellness today is both multidimensional and multifaceted. It encompasses physical, emotional, mental, and even spiritual health. The pursuit of this is what I call Wicked Wellness and I think we call all agree that achieving such a state of being is more than a challenge—it’s a lifelong mission. You see, up until today, we’ve given so much to others...and we’re not complaining about it because we really, really wanted to. We wanted the great careers, boyfriends, husbands, families, kids, you name it. We just poured ourselves into those things and loved every second. But, guess what? We’ve had to put so much of ourselves and our wellness on the back burner. And in the process of doing, so we’ve lost our way. Time has mysteriously flown by. Complacency has crept in and the thought of getting back on track with our personal health and wellness has become overwhelming.
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Where do I start? How do I get there? What do I want to achieve?
If you feel like you’ve given up and you’re sitting here saying “Hey, you are preaching to the choir!”, you’re in the right place. I’ve been there myself and often wonder how ended up here? Where did all this time go?
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For years, I’ve lived, breathed and talked health — getting healthy, staying healthy and leveraging the power of tech to live our best lives. I’ve worked and continue to work with countless industry leaders, innovators and insiders, helping shine a light on cuttingedge technology solutions in the medical, health and wellness fields. I’ve always been a pro at talking the talk because, hands down, if there’s one thing I knew (and know), it’s the digital health landscape. I saw the progress. I saw the power. I saw the results. But, when it came to my own life and truly walking that walk…I just sat.
#Truth
And then one day I couldn’t sit anymore. I realized that I had a unique opportunity to leverage my knowledge, passion and purpose to help others excel. But, at the same time, I realized the first person I needed to help was ME. And in that realization the journey to make my own personal wellness a priority began. It is through this journey (that I’m still rockin’ and rollin’ on) that Wicked Awesome You (WAY) was born. A place to share, through cutting-edge content what I’m seeing, experiencing and loving on the wellness front alongside a commitment to building a community of health-focused women to help each other out along the way. I hope that you’ll find the inspiration you need to supercharge your journey. Wicked Wellness is the first eBook offering from Wicked Awesome You. Think of it as a blueprint for building a better system to get you to the best, healthiest, happiest years of your life. It’s the next right step to help you cross the finish line...and keep going.
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IT’S TIME FOR A SHIFT IN MINDSET TELL ‘EM THAT IT’S HUMAN NATURE Wicked Awesome You believes that it’s in our essence to always be looking for ways to improve the things in our lives. It’s just our human nature. Because of that, for most individuals, achieving one thing and then getting the reward just isn’t enough. We still have the next goal to accomplish, the next mountain to climb, the next behavior to shift. This constant “trying to better ourselves” is never-ending. And that’s OK. Changing our behaviors is not a one-time thing. It is a constant building of rituals and routines that supports us in our “striving for more.”
We know this constant quest for improvement is just part of being human. Wicked Wellness is here to help you make small daily improvements to your health and wellness that result in big changes over time. But our methods don’t end there. You can apply these principles and practices to all areas of your life, from being a better mom to being a better boss. We don’t want you to flip your lives upside down. We’re not trying to convince you to make sweeping changes. We’re simply giving you the tools to make small changes to your daily routines that will result in big Wicked Wins.
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THE HABIT TRAP There’s a lot of talk about habits out there with a prevalent belief that if you can master your habits you can reach your goals. Habits have been running the show since we were old enough to make them. The time has come to shift our reliance on habits, both good and bad, and develop routines and rituals instead. Because habits become automatic and operate unconsciously, we don’t even realize we are doing them. Building routines and rituals take conscious effort, giving you more control over your behaviors and allowing you to create a system that makes difficult things easier and sometimes, surprisingly, fun to accomplish.
Habits make you run on autopilot. WAY is here to put you in the driver’s seat. A BETTER BLUEPRINT This book provides you with a blueprint for turning old habits into new routines that lead to big breakthroughs. WAY is here to give you the practical, strategic guidance and tactical advice you need to get the outcome you desire. Whether it’s a healthier body, glowing skin or just some more sleep, we are here to guide and support you every step of the way. We know none of this is easy. That’s why we will show you how to build a plan and implement a system of continuous small improvements that will give you the freedom from worrying about how you will make the changes you know you must make. Our aim is to relieve this burden of how and get you those big wins that will make you feel like a million bucks. Let’s dive in.
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WHY IS IT SO HARD TO CHANGE?
THE MYTH OF CONTINUOUS MOTIVATION How many of you can relate to this scenario? You visit a super high-achiever friend or the New Year comes around and you decide to revamp your entire life according to your new resolutions. You decide with certainty and conviction (this time) that you will lose fifteen pounds by summer and get that bikini body you’ve wanted for years. You head off to your local grocery store armed with your paleo-friendly, gluten-free food list and you throw down $1,000+ for a fancy sure-to-work gym membership. You spend another $500 at Lululemon getting the perfect workout clothes. You might even shell out money to buy that expensive Peloton all your friends have been raving about. For the first two days you are spot on with your new healthy eating habits. Your Peloton routine has you inspired and your first three trips to the gym leave you sweaty and feeling like you can take on the world. You think, “I’ve got this. I’m on FIRE this time!” Three days later you wake up with that familiar low back pain and that fire seems to be missing in action. You sit in bed 5-10-15 minutes longer just waiting for your mind to motivate you to jump on that Peloton. It never does. Then, your mother-in-law calls to say she’s coming into town this weekend and your 5-year-old has the beginning of yet another flu. And somehow, with the missing motivation combined with all the interruptions and drama, your new health kick’s gotten completely derailed. Now, food prepping your week of salmon and veggie dinners isn’t so enticing, and it’s just easier to order in. The Peloton is collecting dust in the corner and is functioning more as a clothes hanger. And the gym? Well, it’s really just too far out of the way now isn’t it ;) Where did all your “motivation” go? 7
We understand. We’ve been there. Your motivation is suddenly less than zero.
WTF?
“Forget motivation. It’s a myth. I don’t know when we all bought into the idea that in order to change you must ‘feel’ eager or ‘feel’ motivated to act. It’s complete garbage.” —Mel Robbins THE GRIT GAP In these moments of no motivation, this is where it gets gritty. And this, we believe, is the sweet spot. This is where the opportunity for a major shift lies. In this time of discomfort with no inner urge to make things happen. In the challenge. In the moment where the decision to make a better choice lies. We call this The Grit Gap. What it boils down to is choice making. The choices you make will not come from a place of wanting. Let’s be honest, no one really wants to eat broccoli and kale every day, but we think we are supposed to want to. Therein lies the rub. The misconception, the myth of motivation.
“Motivation is a myth. It’s just like orgasms, it comes and goes.” —Lokopoko What we do want is to feel better. What we do want is to be the type of person who eats healthy. What we do want is the freedom to make good choices that will benefit us in the long run. But motivation is a myth. And if we wait around for it to miraculously emerge, we will stay stagnant, complacent and in exactly the same state while we secretly long to improve ourselves. 8
That’s where WAY comes in.
THE IMPORTANCE OF DELAYED GRATIFICATION As children we wanted everything when we wanted it. Now! As we grow and learn about the world, we understand that long-term payoffs can far outweigh short term gains. You’re always going to want to eat pizza. That’s never going to go away. And to fool yourself into thinking you don’t is just a waste of time. It’s time to shift your mindset. Accept that you will want to sleep in. Accept that you will want that slice of cake. That’s ok. What we must work on is being uncomfortable with not having those things all the time. We may need to find worthy substitutes to make the changes we desire.
BUT I DESERVE THE CAKE! Often we get caught in feeling like we’ve earned the right to eat that “symbolic” cake. We say to ourselves, “I worked hard all week. I drank eight glasses of water today and I ran an extra mile. I deserve to let myself have that damn cake.” This is the moment. The moment when you have a choice. You can decide to eat the cake now and get immediate satisfaction, but we all know that it’s just a matter of minutes before we start to tell ourselves that we shouldn’t have. Then we proceed to beat ourselves up over indulging in a single piece of cake and we don’t even get to enjoy it. It simply never ends. What’s more important than immediate satisfaction is delayed gratification. The end game far outweighs the 5 minutes of pleasure that comes from eating a piece of cake. The end game of knowing “I’m the type of person that makes healthy choices of what I put in my body” far surpasses that quick fix of sugar. To get where you need to go requires shifting your mindset, playing the end game, and building a better system to get you there.
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THE EMOTION EQUATION Emotions are messy, but they are a very real part of our day-to-day life. For making better choices and building better systems, emotions can wreak havoc on our best intentions and, more importantly, our progress. We have enough emotions running the show in our life. We need to have our BRAINS take over for making the small changes, the daily choices and the conscious decisions that impact our health and wellbeing. There’s no more room for hemming and hawing. The business of being healthy is about getting down to brass tacks, creating a plan and sticking to it. We know your feelings will rear their ugly heads when you’re faced with a choice, but if you can try to be more practical and less emotional, you will be better off.
Until we realize and fully accept there is discomfort in change, change will be forever be obsolete.
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WHY GOALS HAVE HOLES
We’ve been taught from a very young age that if we want to accomplish something we must set goals. We have glorified goals for so long that when we go to change an aspect of our lives, setting a goal is often the obvious first step. Despite being touted by many, this approach has serious flaws, especially when it comes to your health and wellness. Here’s why. Goals have an endpoint. This is why many people revert to their previous state after achieving a certain goal. People run marathons, then stop exercising all together afterward. Others reach a goal weight, only to spoil their progress by overeating to celebrate and then begin that, oh so familiar, downward spiral. Ruh-Roh.
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Goals rely on factors that we do not always have control over. It’s an unavoidable fact that reaching a goal is not always possible, regardless of effort. An injury might derail a fitness goal or a family tragedy might impede a meal-planning goal. What’s a girl to do? Goals rely on willpower and self-discipline. As Charles Duhigg wrote in The Power of Habit: “Willpower isn’t just a skill. It’s a muscle, like the muscles in your arms or legs, and it gets tired as it works harder, so there’s less power left over for other things.” When other parts of our lives deplete our supply of willpower, it’s easy to forget our goals.
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Goals can make us complacent. Studies have shown that people’s brains can confuse goal setting with achievement. This effect is even more pronounced when people inform others of their goals. Just because you set into motion the act of being healthy, like making an appointment to meet with a personal trainer, you still must take action and actually do the workouts. There really is no short-cut. Here’s the deal. It’s not enough to have a goal. You also need a tactical and practical way to reach it. If you want better results, set aside the act of setting goals. Focus on your system instead. Building better systems requires a continuous investment in your health. There will be shifts. There will be stumbles. The work is in the doing. Spending more time in the good place than in the bad is the end game. Small wins eventually gets you the championship, and more importantly, you’ve built a long-term system that works.
“If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.” - Jim Rohn
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STOP RUNNING HABITS AND START BUILDING ROUTINES
“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” —John C. Maxwell Change is hard. We all want to become better people - stronger and healthier, a better friend or family member. Even if we get really inspired and do things better, it’s tough to actually stick to new behaviors. James Clear in his ground-breaking book Atomic Habits tells us in order to change your behavior for good, you must start believing new things about yourself. Imagine how you typically set goals. You might start by saying “I want to lose weight” or “I want to get stronger.” If you’re lucky, someone might say, “That’s great, but you should be more specific.” So then you say, “I want to lose 20 pounds” or “I want to get rid of the discoloration on my skin.” These goals are centered on outcomes, not identity. Many people begin changing their behavior by focusing on what they want to achieve. This leads us to outcome-based habits. The more realistic and beneficial alternative is to build identity-based routines. With this approach, we start by focusing on who we wish to become. When you focus on who you want to become, you paint the picture in your mind of your ideal self. This act alone gets you excited about the person you are becoming and creates a
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powerful connection between the person you are now (20 pounds overweight) and where you want to be (the woman that can look in the mirror and think, “Damn, I’m looking fine!”) You just must say to yourself, “I want to be the kind of person that feels in control of my fitness. Or, “I want to be the type of person who can look in the mirror and like what I see.” Then you can do the work of building the systems you need to get closer to being that kind of person. For example, say you want to become the type of person who drinks more water every day. It’s time to get granular here and build your system. (This is what I did and it worked like a charm.)
Example Building a New Routine to Drink More Water!
1. Determine how many ounces you want to drink each day (hint: we suggest half your body weight in ounces.) 2. Next, leave nothing to chance. Have enough bottles filled up every day, ready to go. Every night before you go to bed, take those empty bottles and fill them up for the next day. This means, you must figure out if you will do this right before you get in bed, possibly after you brush your teeth and wash your face, or right after you put the kids down. 3. Break it down even further. If you need to drink 80 ounces a day, make sure you have either 2 40-ounce water bottles or 4 - 24-ounce bottles in your arsenal. (And it doesn’t hurt to have one right by your bedside as well.) These are the tools you need to make building the system a success.
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Now, what if you’re a person who hates drinking plain old water? No problem. Simply find what you need to make your water more “happy.” For instance, have plenty of lemons or other fruit on hand and make pitchers ahead of time in your fridge and then fill up those bottles throughout the day. Or grab sparkling waters (or better yet get a soda stream) to help break it up and add “fun” to this routine. The idea is to make drinking more water easier and more enjoyable. WAY is here to help you step-by-step through shifting from old, unhelpful habits to new routines. We’ll get into more details later, but for now, it’s time to set our water drinking plan in motion. Ultimately you must do what works for you, but here are suggestions that work for us.
SOUND THE ALARM. If you respond well to alarms, then download a free water tracking app or set alarms throughout your day. Or set a mid-day alarm to check where you are with your water intake. If you aren’t ½ complete, it’s your time to catch-up and drink up! Then you can do the same towards the end of the day. KEEP IT CLOSE. The most important thing is to have an active water bottle right next to you throughout the day. I put mine next to my phone on my desk so it’s always in eyesight. For me, the easiest thing was buying two water bottles that made up all the ounces I needed to drink each day. The math was easy and I didn’t even have to count much! ENLIST A BUDDY. Find a reminder buddy for a midday check-in. Tell each other that at 1:00 pm each day you’ll text the ounces you drank or send a photo of your empty bottle. Just that extra check-in can make all the difference. The idea is to get ultra-specific and prepare each step to work within your own day. We’ll get even more detailed in the next section so stay tuned. 15
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STARTING SMALL
CHASING THE SILVER BULLET Often, we get caught in the trap of feeling like we need to make big sweeping changes in our life (usually because we are so fed up.) Maybe it’s the drama queen inside all of us letting herself be known, but the real key to self-improvement isn’t to think bigger, but to think smaller. This means setting up small routines that can build up exponentially over time. Change rarely happens in one big moment. Change is slow and gradual. People fail at so many of their goals because they can’t think small and long-term. They get caught trying to find that one magical solution that will change everything - that elusive silver bullet. And then when it doesn’t, they give up on selfimprovement entirely. If you’ve ever given up on a goal, it’s likely because you weren’t thinking small enough and thus went back to your former habits when you weren’t able to make the big change you wanted. Let’s say one of the things you want to change is your diet. You could completely overhaul your diet, throw out everything in your kitchen and go shopping for “healthy” foods that you’ve never eaten before. Or you could start much smaller. Instead of trying to change yourself completely overnight, focus on a tiny change, such as: Substitute water for all of your soda intake. Change your midday snack from potato chips to kale chips. Stop eating or snacking after 7:00 pm. Feel free to padlock your fridge! I didn’t padlock my fridge, but I closed both of 16
my kitchen doors and turned off the lights so I’d be less likely to head there to mindlessly eat at night. Something about having to push the doors open and turn on the light made it feel like someone was watching me, so I became inhibited. Well, at least that’s the story I told myself ;) There are good reasons why focusing on tiny changes is way more effective than focusing on instant big changes. Here are just a few.
1 1. It’s easier to make a tiny change. It takes less willpower and less energy, so it’s more achievable.
22. Accomplishing that tiny change will buoy up your confidence and prove to you that change is indeed possible.
33. Success in making a tiny change alters the way you think about yourself. It really does!
Once that change becomes consistent and conscious, you’ve changed your identity and how you see yourself. Now you’re no longer that person who drinks soda at every meal, snacks on potato chips, or binge eats until all hours of the night. Now you’re the type of person who drinks water with every meal, snacks on yummy, crunchy kale chips, or gets herself in control of late-night eating. When that tiny change influences you to see yourself in a new way, it opens up new opportunities for change. You think, ‘’Hey, I stopped drinking soda, so why can’t I stop late-night snacking, too? Gradually you see yourself as a healthy person who does healthy things. That’s just who you are now. You’ll be surprised by how much you can change in your life through nothing but tiny, gradual changes. Your inner drama queen might be a little bummed, but the Wicked Awesome You will be high-fiving herself in the mirror.
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THE POWER OF 1% According to James Clear in Atomic Habits, too often we convince ourselves that massive success requires massive action. But small improvements can accumulate into remarkable results. Improving 1% isn’t particularly notable, sometimes it isn’t even noticeable, but it can be far more meaningful, especially in the long run. Improve by 1% and you will get a significant increase when you put them all together. If you can get 1% better each day for 1 year, you’ll end up 37 times better by the time you’re done. That’s a wowsa!
!!! THERE’S A MINI METHOD TO OUR MADNESS The secret to changing automatic, unconscious habits into active, conscious routines is to make them so small they seem trivial. Since the new ritual is so tiny, like flossing one tooth, or getting on the exercise bike for 5 minutes, you’ll feel foolish for not getting it into your day. Then, over time, that minuscule routine becomes a part of your day, rather than no part at all. You could think of that tiny change as an extension of your routine–once it becomes “normal” to your system, you’ll glide right into it. For example, to become more mindful, commit to sitting and breathing with your eyes closed for just one minute each day. To add more veggies to your diet, find a daily breakfast recipe that includes greens (we love making mini quiches and throwing spinach and mushrooms in). Each of these only requires a tiny amount of planning and action to start, after which your body and mind will follow. You’ve heard of the path of least resistance? These routines are easy to complete and allow you to feel accomplished while doing something fantastic for yourselves.
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BUILDING A BETTER SYSTEM
At this point, we hope you understand the importance of making small, daily changes to your health and wellness routines. The purpose of a well-crafted system of routines is to ensure that we reach our goals with incremental steps. Studies have shown that desired outcomes are easier to reach if they’re specific and not too numerous. For instance you can say to yourself, “I’ll walk 20 minutes a day,” rather than “I’ll get more exercise.” Having too many goals limits the amount of attention and focus you can devote to making any single accomplishment. So, apply the KISS (keep it simple stupid) principle to your daily health routines and watch the wins rack up. In the next chapter we’ll show you how to start making those daily changes, those incrementals shifts. But just in case we haven’t convinced you entirely, here’s one last thought.
HOW BUILDING BETTER RITUALS AND ROUTINES FREES YOUR MIND We’ve all heard the saying, “Free your mind and the rest will follow.” Well, the same holds true with building routines and rituals. Take this example: Maybe you want to take better care of your aging skin. With WAY’s help, you create a system and build the daily routines and rituals to get there. Just this act alone will free your mind to live your life without this daily burden of “I have to take better care of my aging skin” weighing on your shoulders. Once you have the right system in place, you’re making movement and taking action daily. What a huge win! Some of you may still wonder about the benefits of creating rituals and routines. You may be thinking
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to yourself: “Will routines make my life monotonous and dull? I don’t want to pigeonhole myself into a lifestyle I don’t enjoy. Doesn’t so much routine take away the vibrancy and spontaneity of life?” Hardly. Such questions set up a false dichotomy. They make you think that you must choose between building routines and attaining freedom. In reality, the two complement each other. Routines do not restrict freedom. They create it. In fact, the people who don’t have their routines dialed in are often the ones with the least amount of freedom.
#Truth
For instance, without a good financial routine, you will always struggle for the next dollar. Without good health rituals, you will always seem short on energy. Without creating better systems, you will always feel like you’re behind the curve. If you’re always being forced to decide about simple tasks - when should I work out, where do I go to write, when do I pay the bills - then you have less time for freedom. It’s only by making the fundamentals of life easier that you can create the mental space for free-thinking and creativity. Now that you understand the background on building better systems, it’s time to focus on how you will get where you want to be. Next, we will take you through the Wicked Wellness Method step-by-step and show you real-life examples. We’ll prove to you that making small daily changes to your routines does work and that your next big breakthrough is just around the corner. Let’s go.
Are you willing to get curious at how amazing you can be?
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THE WICKED WELLNESS METHOD STEP 1: THE ASSESSMENT
HOW WICKED WELL ARE YOU? The first step to building rituals and routines that lead to big breakthroughs is to understand which aspects of your health and wellness need improvement. You have to know where you are, to get where you’re going. The Wicked Wellness Quiz will tell you where you stand before you take that first step. To make this first step even easier, we’ve harnessed the power of digital technology to make this quiz-taking process more interactive and fun. It’s time to save your spot here and jump on over to wickedawesomeyou.com/quiz to see where you stand (or fall) with your physical, mental/emotional and beauty wellness. We’ll see you back here in a few!
Take the Wicked Wellness Quiz
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THE WICKED WELLNESS METHOD STEP 2: THE SETUP
Welcome back and congratulations on completing Step One - The Wicked Wellness Quiz! You should now have a pretty good idea of what areas of your health and wellness need improvement. Now, let’s move on to Step Two. For building a better system of healthy routines and rituals, most of the work is done upfront. We’ve all heard the adage “Success is 90% preparation and 10% perspiration.” Before you go to create a new routine or ritual, it’s important to think about all the things you have to consider to make the outcome you want happen.
Personal Example
For example, when I was going through very intense IVF treatment, I was scared to death. Every night I was faced with giving myself painful shots that may or may not result in a pregnancy. I knew I had to do this, but I didn’t want to. I needed to consider all the factors that would go into this daily routine so I created a ritual around it. Every night I would set myself up for the shot. I enlisted the help of my doctor father to do the first injection to take away some of the fear of what the needle would feel like...wasn’t as bad as I thought! From there I was on my own. Every night I set my alarm at 8:00 pm, went to the kitchen and meticulously cleaned off the counter. As I brewed a cup of herbal tea, I carefully sanitized all the things I needed, did a deep cleanse on my hands and tummy area, and created a sacred space for myself to perform my nightly act of torture. Turns out, by creating a relaxing ritual around something that I had no desire to do, I gave myself those shots without hesitation and looked forward to the routine. I made it my time and I made it fun. 22
To help you move through each of these next steps, we’ve created helpful printables for you to download and fill out. Doing this minimal work ahead of time will make your new routines all the more effective. Trust me!
5 SETUP QUESTIONS What I know for sure is if you want to set yourself up for success, you must look at all the factors that go into it. Start by asking yourself these 5 Set Up Questions:
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What do I want to accomplish? (be clear and specific)
22. How long will it take? 33. What are the tools I need to get the outcome I desire? 44. What are the resources I have on hand? (husband to watch the kids, gym membership, food in the fridge, etc.)
55. Can I be sure those resources will support me?
Download Your 5 Set-Up Questions Printable
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THE BEHAVIOR SCORECARD As we continue with the Set-Up, we get more detailed regarding our daily behaviors. A favorite tool can be found in James Clear’s Atomic Habits. James says the first step to changing bad behaviors is to be on the lookout for them and I couldn’t agree more. Now that you’re aware, after taking the Wicked Wellness Quiz, which areas of your health and wellness need improvement, it’s time to look at your specific behaviors and turn your old habits into new routines. Here’s a simple exercise to become more aware of the daily habits you’ve been running. Make a list of your daily habits.
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Ask yourself, “Is this a good habit, a bad habit, or a neutral habit?” 22. If it is a good habit, write “+” next to it. If it is a bad habit, write “–”. If it is a neutral habit, write “=”. For example: Brush teeth + Late night snacking –
Download Your Behavior Scorecard Printable Now that you’re clear on your daily behaviors (and which ones you want to keep) we will continue with your Wicked Wellness Set-Up by identifying where you can bring in new routines and rituals.
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THE WICKED WELLNESS METHOD STEP 3: START LAYERING
You probably know by now that you have some very strong habits you take for granted each day. For example, your brain is probably very efficient at remembering to brew your morning cup of coffee, or check your phone first thing, or thousands of other daily unconscious behaviors. You can take advantage of these strong connections to build new routines that advance you toward your desired outcome. So how does this work? For building new routines, you can use the connectedness of behavior to your advantage. One of the best ways to build new routines is to identify a habit you already do each day and then layer your new routine on top. The reason this practice of layering works so well is that your habits are already built into your brain. Your patterns and behaviors have strengthened over the years. By linking your new healthy routines to a cycle already built into your brain, you make it more likely that you’ll stick to the new behavior. Let’s show you how this works.
CREATE A ROUTINE CHAIN (AKA LAYERING) As you can probably guess, routines are easier to build when they fit into the flow of your life. The next step in your Set-Up is to decide when and where you’re going to insert a new routine. Identify a current routine you already do each day and then attach your new behavior on top or in the middle of it. The simple way to apply this strategy to your system is to fill out this sentence: “After [CURRENT ROUTINE], I will [NEW ROUTINE].”
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For example, after I wash my face I will apply toner to my skin before I moisturizer. Or, after my morning cup of coffee, I will stretch and breathe deeply for 5 minutes. You see how this works? Once you have mastered this basic structure, you can create a larger system of healthy routines and rituals by linking these smaller behaviors together. This allows you to take advantage of the natural momentum that comes from one behavior leading into the next. Voila!
Download My Routines Printable BREAKING THE BEHAVIOR CHAIN When you’re ready to insert a new routine into your daily life, trace the chain of events leading up to and following it. By tracing the chain of events, you can identify points in the chain where you can make a change. This behavior chain below shows a sequence of events for a person who wants to add exercise into their daily routine but who winds up snacking and watching TV instead. By examining the chain carefully, you can identify ways to break it at every step. After you review this example, go through the same process for a typical chain of events involving your target behavior in the blank Behavior Chain that follows.
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Eat snack and watch TV ▼
Feel guilty
▲ ▲ ▲ ▲ ▲ ▲ ▲
Go into kitchen, see food, feel hungry ▼ Grab a bag of chips and hummus ▼ Turn the TV and sit down ▼
▲
SAMPLE CHAIN OF EVENTS Come home from work ▼ Feel tired and not like exercising ▼ Look for walking shoes, can’t find them ▼ Feel annoyed ▼
STRATEGIES FOR BREAKING CHAIN Plan an evening run as part of your exercise plan Tell yourself you’ll feel better and more alert after working out Put shoes and workout clothes out the night before Remind yourself of your new healthy routine and Giddy Up and Do It Damn It! yourself out the door Stay out of the kitchen unless you will be fixing a planned meal or snack Have a glass of water or a pre-prepared healthy snack Listen to energizing music while you get ready to exercise If you like watching something while you exercise, get a stationary bike or treadmill Even if you have a small lapse, don’t beat yourself up. Resume your routine tomorrow
Download Breaking Down the Behavior Chain Printable 27
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THE WICKED WELLNESS METHOD STEP 4: THE GIDDY-UP & DO IT TECHNIQUE
If you remember from the previous chapter, the important thing to do when you go to update your habits into rituals and routines is to start small. You don’t need to revamp your health routines overnight. For example, I know a group of people that started The Pushup Club. They started with doing just 1 pushup a day and then immediately texted each other when they finished. Then, of course, since they were already down on the floor, they slowly added more. But all they committed to was 1 pushup to start.
A Recap So Far In Step One, we determined which areas of your health and wellness need the most improvement. Step Two, we outlined what we want to achieve and where we will fit our new health routines into our daily lives. Maybe you’ve decided that “I want to be the kind of person who looks in the mirror and loves her glowing skin.” Or, “I want to be the type of person who practices daily meditation.” You’ve examined what your daily routines are and have identified where you can layer new healthy routines into your life. Now it’s time to break it down even further. Allow me to introduce a technique that has been instrumental for me. I use it daily.
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GIDDY-UP AND DO IT, DAMN IT! Isn’t it amazing that when we feel the slightest bit of resistance to do something, we come up with the most brilliant excuses not to. I head off to sleep with the best of intentions to wake up at 7:30 am for a 20-minute workout. I mean how difficult can that possibly be? Then, my 7:30 alarm goes off. I’m wide awake, and yet I sit there in bed doing nothing. I think, well maybe I can wait just five more minutes and I’ll still have that 25-minute window left to work out. Then more pour in. Maybe I’ll cut out of work early and fit in my workout later. Or, maybe I’ll double the length of my workout tomorrow. YES, that’s what I’ll do! Yeah, I’m full of shit. And, don’t tell me you all haven’t done the exact same thing. We all do it…it’s human nature. This past year I dug in deep to create a technique that could leave no room for excuses. For me, it needed to be simple and something I couldn’t forget. It’s the tool I use to get myself out of bed when I feel like sleeping in. It’s the tool I use to get anything I don’t want to do, done. It’s my go-to mental gadget that works. And it goes like this.
I call it Giddy-up and Do It, Damn IT! Yeah it sounds a little harsh, but it’s not. It’s mighty and it’s powerful! It’s my version of ripping the bandaid off. We are masters of excuses. We could talk ourselves out of anything. I know, if I could get paid to create excuses all day, I’d be retired on my own island drinking delicious bourbon cocktails with little umbrellas while sitting underneath a misting umbrella! I want to empower you with this tool and give you permission to use it A LOT. Once you say it, you can’t stop yourself from moving forward with the routine, ritual or task at hand. So why is this tool so effective? It forces you to ignore the excuses and focus on the action. It’s emphatic and it’s short! 29
HERE’S HOW YOU WILL USE IT Once you have set up the decision you want to do something (e.g., workout at 7:30 am) you say out loud “Giddy-up and do it, damn it!” and while you are saying “damn it,” your body’s IN MOTION off to do the thing. No excuses. You said it and now you are in process. This is how you get yourself to do the hard stuff – the work you don’t feel like doing, or you’re scared of doing, or you’re avoiding. That’s it. It takes seconds.
THE CASE OF THE UNUSED PELOTON I thought, like many, that when I bought my Peloton the motivation to bike every day would just naturally happen. No dice. I’m embarrassed to say I actually had it sit in my home for almost a year without using it except for a handful of times. And then, one day when the monthly charge for the Peloton App popped up on my iPhone, I said, “WTF and I doing??” At that moment, I found myself in the Grit Gap and I knew I had a choice. Option one, I could cancel my subscription (I mean why would I pay for something I don’t even use). Or option two, I could wake up and take charge of my body. Lucky for me (and you) I chose number two.
#Truth
So when I started on my Peloton, all I told myself was ”I need to commit to 5 minutes a day on the bike for one week.” And that’s what I did. Just 5 minutes a day for a week. And don’t think that I didn’t come up with excuses why those 5 minutes were a hassle. Isn’t it shocking how powerful our minds can be to talk ourselves out of 5 minutes of fitness! But I’d Giddy-up and Do It, Damn IT! myself on that bike every single day that week. I wish I could say I wanted to do it. I didn’t. But I did it anyway. Being the improvement seeker I am, I naturally wanted to increase my time. So that is what I did. I set a specific time (8:30 am), directly after spending mornings with my son, and put it in my calendar so no one could schedule anything for me during that time slot. I set out my workout clothes each night at the end of my bed so there was no time “figuring out” what I would wear. I 30
charged my Apple Watch I use to track my heart rate and workout right by my bedside so it was ready to put on. And last but not least, before I got on the bike I filled my water bottle up. And because I’m such a wuss and hate getting super hot, I set up a fan pointing towards the bike. Mission accomplished. Now you’d think I set myself up pretty darn well to make it simple to just jump on the bike. I mean, what could possibly be in the way? You’d be surprised that every single day I still need to Giddy-up and Do It, Damn IT! myself on the bike! Every single day my head comes up with a million excuses why I don’t want to do it. It’s not something I’m craving to do. And motivation is a joke because if I waited for that to happen, I’d still be in bed today. So, I make myself do it because I want to be the type of person who takes care of her body and gets stronger. And, yes, life gets in the way. The family comes into town or an emergency work meeting pops up. It happens. But the next day, while I’m talking myself out of getting on the bike, I pull out my strategy Giddy-up and Do It, Damn IT! It’s uncomfortable. It’s not what I want to do, but damn do I feel good when I do it. At the end of the day, no matter what has happened, I know I did THAT. That important routine that made my heart a little stronger and my health 1% better than the day before. But I scheduled myself to get on the bike every day at the same exact time. And while I promise myself that I’ll do this 5 times a week, it is still something I recommit to every single day. It’s not easy. Every day I Giddy-up and Do It, Damn IT! myself on that bike knowing that I’m riding towards my freedom and more importantly, to a to a healthier body and stronger heart.
Amen!
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THE WICKED WELLNESS METHOD STEP 5: MASTERING YOUR ROUTINE
Armed with your desired outcome and the knowledge of where to best fit your new routines it’s time to take the final plunge.
Your Wicked Wellness Method
!!!
1 1. Commit to your new small routine (like walking for 1015 minutes a day or taking daily vitamins). Start small please! You can only go up from there!
22. Decide where you will fit your new routine in (I will sit
with my eyes closed and deep breathe, aka meditate, for 3 minutes directly after I blow dry my hair while sitting on my bed and right before I get dressed for work.)
33. Write out exactly where your NEW step will fit into your
routine and post it exactly where it needs to be seen by you. For example, if you are trying to add meditation in after you blow-dry your hair, post your filled-in printable on the mirror where you style your hair to trigger you to head into your bedroom to begin upon completion of said “awesome hair.” Have all the items you need ready to go (for this example, you might need your phone charged with your favorite meditation app, a closed-door for quiet, and headphones).
44. Utilize the Giddy-up and Do It, Damn IT! method to get going.
55. Every day, or the days you’ve committed to, consciously add in this new step into your existing routine.
66. After one week, if you were adding in something like
meditation or fitness, start pushing the time, making it longer. You’re already doing it so pushing it should be easier.
By creating these small changes into your daily routines you’re building a solid system of healthy routines and rituals and just scored a HUGE WIN. The Wicked Wellness Method is built into your schedule and now its just about repetition and consistency. Well done!
GET COMFORTABLE WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE When you make these small daily changes to your routines, every day will be a bit uncomfortable and challenging. This process is simple but not necessarily easy. Continue the practice of “doing.” Even that 1 pushup or that 5 minutes of biking will start training yourself and get you to habitualize good behaviors. There isn’t one day that I don’t have to Giddy-up and Do It, Damn IT! myself on the bike. Or Giddy-up and Do It, Damn IT! myself to meal plan (and I’m still struggling with this one.) Welcome the bumpy road and recognize that you can conquer it. If we don’t face the bumps headon, we will never make the changes and improvements we want and deserve. Remember, you can do this process for anything that needs adjustment in your life. From creating more quiet time to handling work projects to tackling chores with your kids. The Wicked Wellness Method begins with your health but can lead to making those small improvements to virtually every facet of your busy life.
“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” —Neale Donald Walsch
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PRACTICE, BUT NOT TO BE PERFECT If you want to become a master at maintaining your new healthy routines and rituals, the key is in repetition, not perfection. The only way to truly succeed in building a better system of rituals and routines is to do it over and over. Repetition builds familiarity HOW TO MASTER YOUR ROUTINES and familiarity grows into automation. Remember that practice over time makes your new routine stick. The goal is not perfection. The goal is to channel awareness, efforts and energy so it allows constructive and positive behaviors to form. Studies show that forming good routines depends more on how often you perform an action than on how much satisfaction you get from it. What makes us successful is to have our GPS system alerted for these habits to be built - especially at the beginning. We must get gritty to build the systems. Then you must practice and repeat.
SHARE YOUR WINS WAY is with you as your guide, your personal coach and your best friend to help you step by step along your road to optimal health and wellness. We want to be there to share all your successes, help pick you up when you fall down (which you will) and give you the encouragement and support to keep going when the going gets tough. Write out your Wicked Wins here and download your Success Sheet Printable and join our Facebook Group Circle + to meet other change-makers and get even more advice and guidance from leading health innovators changing the WAY women see wellness.
Join us on Facebook!
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WHEN YOUR ROUTINES GO OFF TRACK
WHEN LIFE GETS IN THE WAY Just when we think we’ve got it all under control and our new routines are smooth sailing, something mucks it up. For me, it’s been things like hosting Thanksgiving and a bunch of family is coming into town or smaller things like forgetting to order the replacement skin care I have been using ritualistically for the past three months - with glowing skin to show for it! You’d think I’d have learned how to manage after all these years, but somehow these events throw me way off course and I have a really hard time getting back on the horse. My healthy eating habits are recklessly abandoned, my early morning Peloton ride is unimportant and taking care of myself the way I’ve become accustomed to just isn’t important. Once again, I’m on the back burner. And not because anyone else put me there. I did this to myself! But things are different this time. All hope is not lost. We don’t have to live in a death spiral with no chance of getting back on track. We’ve each been given the tools and the community to help power us back on the course to wicked awesomeness.
“Let’s work for it more than we wish for it.” —Jill Gilbert RECLAIM YOUR ROUTINES It’s inevitable that you will fall off track. Situations will occur that are out of your control and it may feel like all that hard work you put into building your new routines was pointless. Let me assure 35
you that it’s not! The secret to getting back on track when you fall off the habit wagon is to get back on as soon as possible... without beating yourself up! It is precisely because of that Grit Gap moment when you have a choice that WAY was created. Through our Podcasts, Blogs, Facebook Group and (more eBooks to come!) we will help you find your way back. The key is to start slow and re-engage through the conscious decision to do so and to embrace the discomfort. You must re-choose your rituals. You must reclaim your routines. And remember this is a choice you make (or not make) to continue to strive for that better, healthier version of yourself.
“The beginning is always today.” — Mary Shelley STARTING OVER, AGAIN AND AGAIN The Wicked Wellness Method was designed to guide you through changing your automatic habits into conscious routines. This is not a one time deal. This will be an on-going process that will be your best friend as you make the brave and courageous decision to upgrade your health and wellness by building a better system of routines and rituals. All four steps work together to create a system that will lead to long term results in the improvement of your health and wellness. When in doubt go back through the steps and reclaim your power by re-affirming your intentions and finding those small daily changes you can make that will lead to big breakthroughs.
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Here’s a Little Recap. Step 1: All about awareness. You must know where you are to know where you’re heading. Step 2: Takes you through preparation and set-up. Finding places in your day to day activities to insert new health routines will set you up for success. Having a plan works! Step 3: Utilize the Giddy-Up and Do it Technique Utilize the Giddy-Up and Do It Damn IT! Method every day and remember the KISS principle. It has been invaluable in helping me and I know it will work for you too. Step 4: Learn how to master your routines. Put into action your new routines using the tools and techniques presented here with the ongoing support from your breakthrough team at WAY. And when you get off track, use the Wicked Wellness Method to get back in the game. Plus gain the support you need from our private Facebook Group Circle+. (see below!)
Top Resources CREATING A COMMUNITY OF HEALTH AND WELLNESS As humans, whenever we are unsure how to act, we often look to the group to guide our behavior. We are constantly scanning our environment and wondering, “What is everyone else doing?” The normal behavior of the tribe often overpowers the desired behavior of the individual. Wicked Awesome You is here to remind you that you don’t have to do this alone. Think of all your friends and family who are also trying to improve their health and 37
wellness. Now expand that network times 10, a hundred or more! Wicked Awesome You has created a no-nonsense, get back on track, find the help that you need: FREE private Facebook Group called Circle+ to connect you with other wellness warriors who are right there making changes with you. Including me! We will also connect you with the innovators and experts in health and wellness so you can have even more access to the tools you need to make the changes you desire.
Join The Circle+ Private Facebook Group EVEN MORE TOOLS WE LOVE AND USE Continue to follow Wicked Awesome You as we bring you the cutting-edge tools and tech you need alongside strategic solutions to get you into action and bring your entire self into alignment. THE PODCAST: YOUR LIFE NEEDS YOU NOW WAY’s weekly podcast will offer you rare, behindthe-scenes interviews and conversations with the world’s leading experts and innovators. There is always something to learn and someone to inspire you on your journey to optimal life, health, wellness and beauty. Listen up!
Coming Soon!
THE INSIDERS LIST Gain first access to the latest techniques and tech to help you along your road to wellness. Special bonuses and surprise gifts will make your inbox as healthy as your new body.
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SOCIAL MEDIA For your daily dose of inspiration follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube to wake up your day with insightful tidbits and personal stories of my own Wicked Awesome journey.
THE WEBSITE And don’t forget the ultimate resource is the Wicked Awesome You website, where all this information and offerings are available to you 24 hours a day. Even at 3 am when craving something sweet. Treat yourself to a video or a blog post to help you refocus on your health routines and kick those cravings to the bedside. I’ll leave you with this. The best, most healthy glowiest years of your life are just ahead. Nothing is impossible when you start small, stay connected and free yourself from the worry of how you will get where you want to be. Congratulations on taking this first step! You’re Well on your WAY.
BONUS: MY FAVORITE TOOLS LIST And last but certainly not least, here is a link to a list of tools I love and use daily to keep myself going when the going gets tough.
My Favorite Tools
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Brody!
Author Jill Gilbert, founder of Wicked Awesome You, has worked with countless industry leaders, innovators and insiders, helping shine a big, bright light on cutting-edge solutions in the medical, health, wellness, baby, fertility and beauty fields. Jill and Team WAY will be bringing you no-nonsense, straight-to-the-core solutions and a killer community for improving your health and wellness using the latest information, technology and tools. 40
Get Wicked @wickedawesomeyouxx
Page: /wickedawesomeyou Group: Circle+
Sign up for the WAY Insiders List:
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