JUNGLE DRUMS

F R THE L CALS BY THE L CALS

FEBRUARYno 68

www.thejungledrums.com

This month More valuable information & advice…

…for the

EXPAT by the EXPATS + new!

ASK THE LAWYER Plus!

Motoring Fiscal advice Wildlife wonders

Subsidised holidays for pensioners

The APEST TIVE C E E H F C F rates st E o m &

g tisin sta – r ? e advthe Comore… on pay y wh

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BRITISH TV FOR TWO WEEKS! see Page33

COVERING.... Gran Alacant, Santa Pola, La Marina, Guardamar, Rojales, Catral, Albatera, Hondons, La Romana & Pinoso.

COVER SHOT Charles & Camilla Two flamingos very much in love photographed in Santa Pola nature park

GETTING IT WRITE...

Let’s face it...you didn’t have

this month 5 ANDREA BURNS

to be eagle-eyed to spot a few errors in last month’s magazine (Ray Charles even wrote in) but in our defence I must say that

property tax...

we are only human...and a bit

8/9 GRAN ALACANT...

thick...so in fact it’s not really our

santa pola & ga...

fault at all and you probably should

11 ASK THE LAWYER...

be feeling sorry for us...oh, you do

go legal...

13 LA MARINA...

urb news and events...

15 PENSIONER BREAKS... subsidised hol’s...

17 NATURE... life off an urb...

23 LUCKY LUCKY MAN... who are they...?

24/5 FREE CALENDAR!!! yes it’s right this time..!

31 LETTERS... oh do you...?

33 COMPUTERS... are you lost...?

35 MOTORING.

the right way of doing it...

39 PUZZLES...

grey matter workout...

41 HOROSCOPES...

the only real ones ever...

43 WHAT’S ON?..

THE guide to going out...

44/5 SMALL ADS... local businesses...

46/7 BUSINESS DIRECTORY... all the businesses you’ll need!

Please note that our deadlines are as follows: Adverts/ Editorials. 15th each month. Letters: 20th each month Any items received by The Jungle Drums after these dates cannot be guaranteed publication in the following months issue - although we will try our best! Phone: 96 669 5141 Email: ask@thejungledrums.com Website: www.thejungledrums.com Editor: Dave Bull Dep.legal: A-1068-2004 Impresora: Albagraf. Albacete While every effort is taken to ensure that mistakes are kept to a minimum, the Jungle Drums, its publisher and staff accept no responsibility for claims made by advertisers or respondents replying to adverts. Nor can it be held responsible for any errors or inaccuracies in their advertisements. The Jungle Drums reserves the right to change, alter and update any part of this publication including adverts and pictures without the consent of the original author or source. E&0E No part of this publication, printed or online, may be used or reproduced without the written consent of the publisher

already.

Look, I’m used to people pointing and laughing but can you stop now?

– we’ll get it right this month – and anyway shouldn’t parents be more supportive? The calendar we have reprinted, but for a change we’ve put this year’s dates on rather than last year’s and the crosswords now have all the spaces available which should make them a little easier to complete.... Apart from that this month’s magazine should be spot on, but if it’s not, don’t tell me mum.

I was going to tell you about all the stuff we’re going to be up to this year but you know what’ll happen, so we’ll surprise you as we go along – and let the other magazines do it a month after us as usual but suffice to say that at an editorial meeting the other night one of our contributors (unwisely) declared that we would also decide at that meeting the name of her newly acquired – and female – cat. Several classics were mentioned including Rosie, Fluffy and Snowy but, being a Jungle Drums meeting, it was unanimously agreed that said cat should be called ‘Brian’ – what can I say, you live by the sword...you get a cat called Brian...

Loads of correspondence about the smoking article in last month’s mag but still no decision from those in suits but we’ll see – in the meantime I’m still able to buy my ciggies pretty much anywhere – including the other day when I was leaving a gym...

Right, that’s all fur this month folks but have a reed and try and ignore the mistakes but if you should by some miracle find one or two jest remumber that weeeve checked this issue very thoroughly as wot we right on the pages shows jost ow good we are...

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Jungle Drums - 96 669 5141 - 606 540 408 - ask@thejungledrums.com

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sunset

4

STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408

Fiscal help...

ANNUAL EXPENSES FOR A PROPERTY OWNER IN SPAIN Everyone who has been a property owner

- Sewage (alcantarillado) – same as

here in Spain for a while will probably not

above apart from the daily collections

have much use for this article. Most, I am sure however, will remember their own uncertainties and preoccupied moments when trying to budget just how much this

- Water (Aquagest) – charged every 3

Tax & Legal Services SPANISH WILLS CONVEYANCES SPANISH PROBATE & INHERITANCES

POWER OF ATTORNEY

months – they cut off after 2 unpaid bills

little dream they’ve made come true will - Electricity (Iberdrola) - every 1 or 2

cost them on an annual basis.

andrea burns

N.I.E. NUMBERS

months depending on area and when contract To make things a little more transparent I have decided to give new and prospective property owners in Spain a brief guide regarding the annual fixed bills.

was made – they cut off when 1 bill not paid

- Local rates (SUMA) – in most municipalities charged on 1st September of each

First of all for the prospectives, when buying

year for the year in course, very reasonable

a property you pay an approximate 10% on

compared to the UK

top of the sales price in legal fees, taxes and registration. Add a further 2% if you are buying with a mortgage. Once your deed is signed the bills listed below will be at your expense: (Please understand that I cannot give you

- Non-residents’ income tax – payable

Jan and 31st Dec. The declarations will be done and presented by your fiscal representa-

depending on size, location and value of the

tive upon your orders, the tax office will not

property).

send any notification.

- Community fees – only if your property is part of an urbanisation, the fees are charged by the Administration of the Community - Rubbish collection (basura) – very reasonable compared to other EEU countries and is collected daily

FISCAL REPRESENTATION

at any day during the tax year between 1st

any figures since those differ enormously

- Insurance of building and contents – compulsory if mortgaged, otherwise optional

RESIDENCE CERTIFICATES

- Residents’ income tax – the income tax declarations for residents are filed in May

NON-RESIDENTS’ INCOME TAX NON-RES. CAPITAL GAINS TAX

and June for the previous tax year. Again, the tax office will not notify you. You provide your fiscal representative with all the data and he will prepare and present the tax declaration.

URB. DON PUEBLO II BW 140 GRAN ALACANT 96 669 7824 or 639 608 969 ANDREABURNS@ORANGE.ES

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Opening Hours Horario Lunes - Viernes Mon - Fri

9.00am - 14.00pm & 17.00pm - 20.00pm

The

British Dental Practice Dr. Paul Saliba LDS University of London 1981

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TEL: 96 679 6603 103, Calle Madrid Urb. La Marina

(off N-332 between Torrevieja & Santa Pola)

From Gran Alacant: take the N332 to the La Marina Urbanisation.

Look for a major left turning into the main street lined with bars etc.

After Consum turn right, continue until you find bars and dentist on your left

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ga sp gran alacant

santa pola

news-views and the odd bit of nonsense

He’s off again…

FROM SWIMMING POOLS TO CAXTON’S PRESS

Here I sit trying to access the web page given to me by our beloved editor, but I do not appear to be

Dear friends, once again we meet at the jungle drums in order to give you as much information as possible about all the events going on in Gran Alacant.

having much success. The only news that I can appear to access is the news about the municipal swimming pool which has been abandoned for over a year with sub-contractors in some sort of disarray over payments and problems with the construction. So in true Spanish

Firstly, I would like to let you know that we are going to open the new and first municipal park in Gran Alacant. I will wait for you the next 7th February at 12 am at the park to celebrate its official opening. I sincerely hope you will like it and enjoy it a lot because we did it for you. Come with us on Sunday and see how our new park is. I remind you this park has nearly 5.000 m2 and it has cost around 350.000 €. It has an area for children and also special area for elder people. My main aim with this park has been not only to create a very nice and comfortable area to stay and relax but also a meeting point where people living here will be able to join and share good moments.

tradition I can only say with confidence the new municipal swimming pool will be finished when?? Manana? but which year manana is, is what we should be asking ourselves, a bit like the golf course no doubt?

By the time you read this the half marathon will have been run and hopefully our resident photographer Mark will have taken a few photos to delight us. Now the mayor will open the new sports stadium in Avda de Albacete. Another thing that has just caught my eye is a plan to try to increase the use of Valenciano. Well you have no doubt as to my views on the use of another minority language being forced down our throats like the many different countries in the world including Great Britain and I mean GREAT. Not partitions with ancient languages that should have died a death with the introduction of William Caxton’s printing press.

Moreover, we have much more activities ready for you at the Municipal library like courses of basic internet in English or Spanish courses among other events that can be very interesting for you. If you would like to have all the information, just come to the library or phone to 96.669.71.10.

This sort of stupidity causes wars, class distinction and division. the more people that speak the same language the better, and smaller the world will become, which to working class person like myself is something we should all strive for.

Not try to be something we are not, and look down on someone because they do not speak the local language.

I can assure you I am very proud of all the things we are doing from the Popular Party (PP) for all the people living in Gran Alacant. Starting from the first councillor that this area has (that is me), the first municipal office, the first municipal library, the first public school, the first public health centre, the first municipal parks, the first viewing points, the first wide pedestrian ways, the first trees, the first sports hall centre (and we are enclosing it now for you), the first petanca rinks, the first decent rubbish containers… and a lot of first things that our major Miguel Zaragoza and his group of people have brought to Gran Alacant. When I started as a councillor of this area none of these infrastructures or others (not even good service of street lights, bus stops, asphalt of the streets…) were working for the people living in Gran Alacant but now thanks to the work of the people belonging to my party we are able to enjoy very good and new services.

I know that there is still a lot to do for our town, but little by little and with the help and support of all of us we will be able to make Gran Alacant a better place to live for everybody. If you have some idea or suggestion of new services or infrastructures that can be done for you, do not hesitate to come to my office and let me know because although I will not be able to do it now, I will have it in my mind to do it when we can, as it had happened with this first Municipal Park (among other things) that is already done for you.

Thanks for your support and meet you again next month.

Loreto

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The half marathon - I do hope quite a few of you have turned out to support this event. If you went to watch I do sincerely hope you had a good time and enjoyed yourselves because this is what its all about.

Now moving on to another subject and that’s about a couple quite a few of you on Gran Alacant no doubt know, fingers Mick and Mary the chef, well they have moved to a fishing lodge on the river Ebro and if any of you don’t know where the river Ebro then shame on you. Well it is about 500kms north of here and it’s all motorway so it doesn’t take long to get their place, called Flix to be precise, and this fishing lodge is absolutely in a gorgeous position right on the river bank, for a spot of R&R and a few days away from the grind and monotony of work you cannot go wrong. I do know that when the weather warms up we will be dusting off the jag and enjoying a nice ride out in style. Mind you I had to drive them up in the rental truck over Christmas and this is one thing I will not do again in a hurry. Yes I hold a HGV licence, so it was no problem renting the truck but what a job it was to punch that along I can tell you. 10 ton truck it was on paper but?? a 4cyl, 4.4litre engine now this was a joke trying to make this go uphill or against a headwind. I had to drive back the following day because of tachograph regulations but the heater didn’t work and I had a headwind most of the way back. Still, never mind, they got there intact - that’s the main thing I suppose so be grateful for small mercies. Now if any of you would like to visit them call Mick on 638072291 and have a few days away, even if you have no wish to do any fishing. There are some nice walks and scenery to look at - not that I got much chance to see any of it because I arrived in the dark and left early the following

x

morning. Hope the weather warms up by February when you read this and the article finds you all in good health and fine fettle.

your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com

gran alacant santa pola

OIL & GARLIC The story of Santa Pola’s fishing industry.

By Dave Bull Introduction.

Many of us living in Gran Alacant probably didn’t realise when we bought a new home that just down the road was one of the oldest fishing ports in Spain and a town that for a very long time has relied on the sea for its staple diet. It’s no wonder that the Mediterranean people live so long with a diet of healthy fish and seafood washed down with a nice glass of red. While we Brits are accustomed to our fish coming in batter and accompanied by greasy chips, and beer possibly.

TUNE IN AND GRAN STAY IN TOUCH ALACANT COVERED IN CONCRETE! Urgent protection is required for the future of the remaining green areas in Gran Alacant, from the greed of Santa Pola Council. If not, then their fate will be sealed in concrete.

Nothing wrong with that – I still love my fish and chips but I’ve also grown an appetite for the local stuff too – and there’s no shortage of that; fresh fish every day if you want it.

To say that fishing is important to Santa Pola is a bit like saying your heart beating every day is important because so much of the town relies either directly or indirectly on the day’s catch.

And it’s on the different aspects of that industry that we’ll be looking at over the next few months. With the collaboration of the town hall, the tourist board and the local fishing association we have been given exclusive access to some of the stuff going on in town that you probably know nothing about.

The Cofraderia where the day’s catch is auctioned, the fish market where you can buy anything from a Squid caught this morning to a lump of Edam. The trawlers and fishing boats that are sometimes gone for weeks on end and the many ways of cooking it all. We’ll be letting you know just what fish is available locally and what (if there is

The Council, in my opinion, regards Gran Alacant as a piggy bank, a cash cow. Taxes paid by residents, have helped to improve facilities and infrastructure of Santa Pola, not Gran Alacant. Once again they intend to raise revenue to boost their coffers at the detriment of our green areas. The easiest option is to reclassify the usage of green land, to build supermarkets and houses. It was recently reported in the Spanish press that improvements completed in 2009, new pavements, trees, parks, play areas etc. were not gracias to the Council, but the National Government’s Plan E. The Council did not contribute a single euro.

Did taxes from GA help to, or paid in full, for the underground car park in Santa Pola?

Yes, we need facilities but not the following: Reclassification of green land usage between El Faro del Mar Urbanización and El Faro Urbanización (where the hang gliders take off) to build more houses and shops.

Another retirement urbanización to be built on green land. To date only half, of the houses and shops have been sold in Life Resort. Yet, they are still building.

Supermarket to be built on land behind the Car Wash, at the Commercial Centre.

There are seven supermarkets in Gran Alacant not including the smaller family run shops. This land could be put to better use to improve the social structure of GA. A cinema or a bowling alley would be more beneficial.

one) it’s name is in English and each month we’ll pass on a local recipe showing the very best way to cook fresh fish or seafood.

Santa Pola Mayor, Miguel Zaragoza (who I know has a passion for the local fish too) will be writing an introduction to this

Consider this; there are still empty units in the Centre and the vast majority if not all of the bars and restaurants are struggling to keep afloat or are for sale. Is the Commercial Centre due to become a ghost town?

Proposed hotel to be built either on land where the Library already exists, or up by El Faro lighthouse. Why?? Does GA really warrant a hotel? The loss of income from summer rentals would be catastrophic, especially in this economic climate.

series of informative and useful articles that will go some way to enlightening those readers who have yet to indulge in, what is, a superb and inexpensive feast – right on our doorstep.

YOUR PHOTOS

This months published photo is from Terry Biddle and it shows some of the 6,800 runners in last months half marathon...thanks Terry......if you have a shot that you think is worth printing send it in.

We were promised access via a roundabout to the N332, a fire station and a bus terminal. Was that all rhetoric by the Mayor? Gran Alacant has grown over the years into a small town and not per se, a designated foreign tourist destination. A plan is needed which incorporates facilities and protects green areas, that is agreed by all the residents of Gran Alacant.

The local elections are due soon with a large percentage of foreign residents having the right to vote. Has the time come for the British immigrants to become involved in the future of Gran Alacant? It has been suggested that a foreigner (British) should be elected to the council. Let us not have the same fiasco as experienced by an urbanización in San Fulgencio.

Who amongst the British immigrants speaks Castellano or Valenciano like a native, let alone knows and understands, the nuances of Spanish and European law? As it is, the majority of British immigrants do not speak or understand basic Spanish. Local residents are already fighting to try and improve facilities and safeguard green areas, but theirs is a lone voice, considering the number of nationalities, which reside in GA. The British have a reputation when living abroad of whinging. Could not that energy be put to better use? Grievances should be direct to Señora Loreto Cascales, Councillor for Gran Alacant. As an appointee, her role presumably is to listen to the grievances/objections of the residents and report to the Council. Without this input the Council, will implement its own greedy plan, houses, supermarkets and shops. It was the greenness and open spaces of Gran Alacant that persuaded most foreigners to purchase a property, not concrete. Therefore the time has come to fight for those green areas, before Gran Alacant is unrecognisable. Remember councils do not like green areas, no income! Go speak to Sra. Cascales let her hear your views/ grievances/objections; the important thing is to make a fuss. The louder the voice the more the Council will have to listen.

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JLCA & AS Lawyers

ASK THE LAWYER… Top local lawyer Jose Luis is here to answer your legal questions.

José-Luis Campillo & Asociados Abogados - Lawyers www.jlcalawyers.com

INDEPENDENT LAW & TAX ADVICE

The Jungle Drums is chuffed to bits to introduce a new contributor to the magazine adding yet another expert to our stable of advisors, who we believe are the very best in their respective fields. Jose Luis Campillo and his team will be here every month to answer your questions and provide legal advice and tips for anyone connected with Spain.

JLCA & As.-Lawyers JLCA & AS.- Lawyers is an office of lawyers, based in Gran Alacant for five years, but with more than 15 years professional background. We also have offices in Elche and in London.

Background and Experience - General Practice & Litigation - Claims against builders/promoters Advice on Tax Matters - Accountancy for companies/self employed - English & Spanish Inheritance Advice - Real Estate - N.I.E. Numbers - Power of Attorney, Bank Accounts - Resident Permits - Mortgages, Loans - Notary Deed - Registration of the deed at - Land Registry - Trademarks - Spanish Wills - Reposessions - Traffic Accidents - Changes of Foreign Cars to Spanish Registration

JLCA & AS.-Lawyers has united into a group of expert lawyers specialising in diverse legislative fields with the intention of offering our clients a personalised and expert service. We are a multi-disciplined company working with Civil Law, Company Law, Criminal law, Administrative Law, and of course our speciality, Real Estate Law. Areas include: • General Practice & Litigation • Real Estate (Architect/Surveyors report, Searches at Land Registry, Preparation of private purchase contract before the title deed, Power of Attorney, bank Accounts, Mortgages, Loans, Notary Deed) • Spanish Wills • English & Spanish Inheritance Advice • Advice on Tax matters • NIE Numbers • Residencia • Changes of foreign cars to Spanish registration • Claims Against Builders/Promoters • Registration of Trademarks • Investments

SUMA, The Town Hall, Utility Companies, Insurance Companies etc.), problems related to your property and presentation of yearly property tax. This service is available for only 35 Euros per month, annually renewable, offering piece of mind that whatever issue or query may arise, JLCA lawyers will be able to deal with it on your behalf. For more information about this service, please contact our office.

Contact Us Whatever your query may be, we have experienced lawyers and fiscal consultants who are available to discuss your issue, to advise you of your rights, and of the options available to you. Your initial consultation is free of charge and without obligation. To make an appointment you can call, email or come directly to our office, which is open daily from 9am to 6.30pm.

Got a question?

Each month JLCA Lawyers will feature articles of general interest, frequently asked questions and anything relating to common issues faced by expats living in Spain. So if you‘ve got a question get in touch with us or through the Jungle Drums.

“Be Safe in Spain with JLCA Lawyers” This year we are proud to announce our “Be Safe in Spain with JLCA Lawyers” Service.

This Service includes legal consultations, phone calls made on your behalf, administration issues (for example

Avda. Escandinavia, 72, C.C. Altomar II, Local 8, Manzana E, 03130 GRAN ALACANT (Santa Pola) Telf: 966 698 796 · Fax: 966 699 570 Espana - Spain · info@jlcalawyers.com ELCHE: Avda. de Alicante, 24 7°03203 - Elche ·Espana - Spain Telf: 966 612 816 · Fax: 965 427 800 infonacional@jlcalawyers.com LONDON: 96-98 Baker Street W1 U6TJ London Tel. 0044(0)20072241095 e-mail. londonoffice@jlcalawyers.com

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11

Talking of

LaM

the wheel? As talking on a mobile phone is now akin to armed robbery in the UK – yes, I know it isn’t here, like the public places smoking ban – shouldn’t they ban smoking behind

The Smoker!

the wheel? What’s that noise I hear? A screech of outrage by any chance? Oh dear, forget it!

A word here about Neil – Neil was my trainer when I entered the world of selling as a raw twenty-three year old (just out of the fag factory actually). Neil was the real thing,

By John McGregor

the genuine article when it came to smoking. He was the best I ever saw, even better than 007 and that’s saying something. In one suit jacket pocket was a flip top packet of twenty Embassy, in the other pocket his lighter. As we came away from a customer he would thrust his hands into his two pockets simultaneously, and in one magic moment he somehow onehandedly pulled out the pack and flipped it open with his thumb at the same time extracting

Smoking is topical, isn’t it? I love smokers – it’s not very PC to say so, is it, and

a fag between his two fore-fingers. Not to be outdone his other hand already had the lighter

I’m a non-smoker myself, but that much-maligned slowly-disappearing species crack me up,

smartly coming up, lit of course on the way to meet the Embassy ready installed in his mouth.

they always have – why is that, John? Well, that’s a good question. Firstly I grew up in an era

The only way to describe the well-oiled action of merely two seconds was like a Wild West

when it was cool to smoke. After all, the great James Bond did it; dead sexy wasn’t it, when

gunslinger with two guns and holsters. It was pure magic to watch - needless to say the fair

Sean Connery, with toupee of course, lit his favourite brand and blew it all over his latest

sex were very impressed. An habitual bachelor, Neil was in a class of his own when it came to

conquest? Couldn’t happen now, could it? Today if he fancied a quick drag it would have to

smoking – and women (and that’s another story, too!).

be behind Doctor No’s killer drug factory in Pinewood Studios. Me, I loved all the private

Alright, confession time – I don’t like smoking in those close to me – or smoking

detective stuff, so as a kid on my bus ride and back to choir practice thrice a week I turned my

anywhere close to me or in the house for that matter, and so…my lovely wife smoked when I

coat collar up, and rolled the bus ticket into a short green half length imitation fag. Leaving it

met her some fourteen years ago. Through a combination of her wanting to give up (she did,

hanging out of the corner of my mouth I stared hard at everyone I considered shady, looking

honest), and knowing my close-up views, she sat up one morning (always a dangerous time

for clues. The bus inspector wasn’t too impressed with the wet end when he got on though!

for real smokers) and announced firmly.

Oh yes, I tried the real thing. My teenage years were spent growing up in

‘Right, that’s it, I’m stopping – now!’. Off she went to the doctors, who, as

Nottingham, home of John Player and Sons fag factories (six of ‘em). Their mega brands in

promised helped her with patches and it worked. That was eight years ago now and she

those days were Park Drive and Number Six, and I coughed and spluttered as I experimented

hasn’t looked back. In fact, she is a pain in the backside about smoking now, bless her. Talk

with both, and other brands, but it never worked. Throat sore, eyes watering, I just couldn’t

about poacher turned gamekeeper - if anyone within a twenty yard radius of us dares to light

get the hang of it. Some friends did, but literally I couldn’t hack it, so I left it to others. After

up, she flares up (flares up – get it?); and that’s even outside! I always rib her with those

coming out of the forces in 1972 and returning briefly to my home city of Nottingham I

immortal words, anonymous as far as I know…

actually worked in one of the JP factories, mercifully only loading the lorries for about three

‘There is nothing in the world as sanctimonious as a reformed smoker’.

months while waiting for a ‘real’ job to come up (it did thankfully). In the factory itself you

Whoever it was said it certainly knew what they was talking about! Me? I just laugh - from a

could just about smoke the air, it was horrendous. My heavy-smoking Mum though thought

distance - good luck to ‘em, if that’s what they want to do, I say. (Real) smokers? I love ‘em!

the sixty free fags a week we all got regardless were great, that was about three days worth for her I think. Happy days, I was both fascinated and horrified how a huge industrial factory in those days worked, but that’s another story.

Back to fags and me. For a while I could tolerate one or two of an evening with a pint balanced in the other hand, even graduating to Castella cigars at one time. I could puff my way through a packet of five of those in my drinking heyday, but when I put down my pint finally thirteen years ago, all thoughts of nicotine went too. But I still don’t condemn people for smoking: it’s their life, their lungs, their decision. Yeah, yeah, I know all that passive-

CRICKET, LOVELY CRICKET!

smoking stuff but – sigh – how did we all survive until these days now when smoking was all the rage then, it was all round you. In the seventies and eighties I’ve sat in meeting rooms where you could hardly see across the room for smoke some days. People are living into their eighties and even nineties now – how did they survive, with all that smoke around?

I love watching the genuine article, a real smoker at his craft, but preferably from a safe distance. Not the furtive puffer hiding round a dark corner, in denial ‘cos of family pressure or self-disgust – no, the real McCoy hits the spot for me as he or she (sex is no barrier, is it? before or after – sorry!) lights up and a serious burst of smoke is strongly inhaled that goes right in, right down to the bootlaces. There is a decent interval before the retained smoke is grudgingly but steadily exhaled, and the whole operation is serious and deliberate.

At this point the smoker rejoins the human race, stress-met, world-put-right, balance-in-life restored. It’s not usually completed with low-tar versions either!

I know someone who could not, if you paid him get in a car and drive away without lighting a fag – it’s as natural as turning on the ignition to him. Talking of PCness - (no,

It would seem the cricket scene is shaping up locally, and its only February! The new San Fulgencio Cricket Club (SFCC) is gearing itself up for the new season, entering the Development League of the Cricket Espana League here on the Costa Blanca. Look out for their monthly newsletter which will be distributed locally, containing information about fixtures, the history of cricket in Spain, player details, including anything of interest. For any information, the SFCC press officer is Bob Norton on sfccpress@gmail.com

not the copper who patrols the Scottish loch), do you think they’ll ever ban smoking behind

12

your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com

Marina K9

ANIMALS FOR ADOPTION

www.petsinspain.info Archie is a 1 year old Podenco cross. He is housetrained, vaccinated, and has a microchip and pet passport with a current rabies antibodies certificate. He is ready and able to travel to the UK or any other European country. He is very playful, good with other dogs and in excellent health.

Marla is approx 12 months and was found by the side of the canal. She was taken to the Vet where we were informed that her ears had been deliberately cut down to a smaller size. She also had a broken leg and this has recently been repaired with surgery. She is like a cuddly Teddy Bear, a playful medium size dog. She is now looking for a permanent new home.

This dog was found wandering around the beach area close

to the village of La Marina. He has a delightful personality, a very gentle and easy going character. He likes to be near to people. We have named him Guapo.

Hello, my name is Tara and I am 7 years old. Sadly my daddy has died and my mummy has to go back to the U.K. Unfortunately she can´t take me with her. I am a Spanish cat, and I really don´t think that I would like the cold wet weather in the U.K. I am spayed and fully vaccinated and I promise I will be a good girl if you just give me lots of love and cuddles.

For more information please call 676 447 682 Email: k9club@lamarina.info To view more animals for adoption please go to: www.petsinspain.info

FOULEYE’S Anyone see that San Fulgencio 2009 Noticias No.4 pamphlet? You know that orangey-white information jobby printed in three languages, courtesy of the ‘Luz of the Mediterranean’ San Fulgencio Town Hall? Well number 4 must have come out in December, as it talked about recent things, like a meeting held on 18th November 2009 of the Presidents Asociation of San Fulgencio. At the meeting a question was posed to the mayoress about the future of the quarry, as it was causing problems to the Urb’s residents with dust, noise etc - nowt new there, then, but this was the reply.

The Mayoress said that all the land occupied by the quarry had been sold to developers and that approval from Valencia of a plan to build up to 4,200 houses was awaited. The rest of the reply concerned awaited confirmation of environmental concerns, archaeological and visitors sites, green areas, infrastructure, blah blah etc. (Oh, and by the way, the quarry is legal - so shut up about it!)

So – you are probably more well-informed than me, but – 4,200 new houses? Excuse me? That’s a new one on me, despite all the rumours, so why, to put it mildly, do we need 4,200 new house there – here, in paradise? A couple of points spring to mind…

1. There are thousands of unsold houses, new and second-hand here already.

2. As well as the above there are thousands of frozen partly- built houses and empty plots awaiting building permission/money/interest etc.

3. The Urbs of La Marina, Esquera, and Oasis are all needing investment of various types – if you can’t manage what you’ve got properly, why take on more?

4. Erm - wasn’t a certain Deputy Mayor here recently accused over corruption with a big plan for new houses here? Wasn’t that to do with the quarry area? Have we sorted that issue yet?

Havn’t we had enough of this? Why can’t we channel our efforts into making this area a nice place to live for those of us who actually live here permanently, without trying to attract more houses, people and problems to test the already overloaded resources? I think it was Jeremy Clarkson (I’m not a huge fan, but he got it spot-on) who said he told his mobile phone supplier that as they were busting a gut to attract new customers, it was a pity that they didn’t look after the ones they’d already got! What do YOU think about 4,200 new houses here?

You’ll like this one – you know the chicane over the canal at the bottom of the Urb, where the new Magic Roundabout is? You know, the blingy, huge, directionally-confusing new roundabout, with trees, swings etc? Well, straight out of the couldn’t-make-itup department, in the same wonderfully-informative edition is the news that the bridge, and the actual road is actually owned by San Felipe Neri, a village the other side of Catral. That’s handy, Harry! So apparently

when agreement is reached – when the price is right, presumably – then come on down, another roundabout will be built linking onto the said Magic Roundabout to ‘straddle the canal, thus providing a new bridge’. So now you know!

Another little gem in the same leaflet was entitled ‘Shall we dance?’. It concerns that Mausoleum of Mirth, aka the anti-Social Centre, on the Tourist Office/Police Station triangle. Did you know there’s a dance every Saturday night, 8 – 11 pm? 3 euros a head, one free drink? Come on, admit it, you were probably watching Strictly Come Dancing, weren’t you? Quick, get your dancing shoes out! Oh, sorry if you’ve missed it, by the way, it’s only 19th Dec to end January!

On the back page of the wonderfullyinformative pamphlet is the same paragraph in three languages, the middle one is intended to be in English, but written or translated by someone who once had a long weekend in Wigan. I won’t reproduce it for lack of space, it really doesn’t merit it as the written language and meaning is just appalling, but the gist of it is a followup from the last bulletin, where the Chief of Police here, Bernardo Cortijo Correas was accepting the plaudits for his inspiration of getting the ‘ex British policemen’ to support the local force here.

This novel, but controversial idea has had its critics, I am not commenting either way, but the bit that I can’t understand is what prompted the sudden departure of our Bernardo, apparently returning after two years back to whence he came to play with his chopper – again! The Police Chief was of course implicated in the still-to-be-resolved Manuel Barrera saga. The latest is Bern will not be replaced – why’s that, then? How will the local police force be run? Will it still have ‘help’ and more importantly- who’s in charge now of law and order here?

Away from that bulletin, have you tried to get into the big new park at Parque del Mosa, finished now some six months ago but still with five-feet high fencing ALL around it? There are no entrances, although pathways inside do lead up to the fencing. You can actually get in, although it looks like illegally, by breaking in through a gap in the fence and – dare I mention it – people actually DO get in, walk their dogs, I’ve even see a few – only a few, mind – using the swings and picnic tables!

Do you think they should? With all that fencing up, I don’t really think they should, do you?

What a cheek, using a park we’ve waited for for years, previously used as a builders rubbish dump! We have heard so many lies over the years, and now it’s finished we locals can’t even get in and enjoy its facilities.

Apparently the one by the market is now open, why not this one? You couldn’t make it up, could you?

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I CAN’T WAIT TO GET OLD(er)...

Subsidised holidays for pensioners in Spain

By Spike I found out a little gem in January that will certainly benefit some of our readers, if not all...yet. You see those good old folks in the Spanish government now offer subsidised holidays all around Spain and the Balearics and the Canaries. Those who qualify can also take their spouse, friend, partner or family member of any age who also receives the benefit of the subsidy – told you it was a little gem.

So how do you qualify? quite simply by receiving a government pension you fit the criteria. Or if you are getting invalidity benefit (and are over 60) you will also be included. The full criteria are below.

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The initiative which is organised by the Spanish Ministerio de Sanidad y Politica Social and is called the Imserso Holiday Programme. It is a great idea with two objectives, one is to improve the quality and well-being of pensioners lives by offering holidays that are affordable and varied while creating employment in tourist areas by offering the holidays when the hotels would otherwise be empty.

I believe, reading between the lines, that you will need to be ‘Fiscally Resident’ in Spain which most pensioners should be

Criteria

Aged 65 or over or Aged 55 and over and receiving a government widow/widower’s pension Or Aged 60 or over and receiving a government ‘Old age’ pension, Invalidity pension or other type of government Early retirement pension.

WHY PAY MORE?

but if you have any doubt ask Andrea (page 5) I would...

Included in the trips are the following, Transport to and from the hotel destination from the capital city of the province where you live – i.e. Alicante – or flights or coach travel.

Full board in a double or single room – min 3 star hotel.

Travel Insurance National Health medical attention Entertainment programme The prices start from around 136€ for eight days in Andalucía and go up to 575€ for 29 days in the Balearics so, as you can see, they are very reasonable and as you would expect, popular. Speak to whoever deals with your taxes to find out about applying. It is the sent to the appropriate government department where your application will be processed. Priority will be given to first time applicants as well as more senior applicants and those on lower incomes...and, of course, have a great time!

You can also go online and apply on their website but you will need to understand Spanish and have the necessary tax forms to hand – but just in case – here’s the link which is also on our website under ‘useful links’ https://www.mundosenior.es/ProcesoReserva/reserva/inicioProcesoReserva. do?PROMOTOR=1

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WINDBLOWN WAIFS

by Malcolm Palmer

AM WIGOEN

LAUGHING GULL

RGB2

RING NECKED DUCK PHALAROPE

Writing last month about African birds that

to our coast, but I have personally seen

undoubtedly are, but the occasional sighting

may show up here, I touched briefly on the

three species of American wader, (Lesser

of such as Chimney Swift and other very

American Belted Kingfisher that has taken up

Yellowlegs. Pectoral Sandpiper and Wilson’s

aerial species certainly suggests unassisted

residence near the Mar Menor. (Incidentally,

Phalarope) one duck (Green-winged Teal) and

passage. Waders are also unlikely to hitch

on a Costa Blanca Bird Club outing, all 24 of us

two gulls, (Ring-billed and Laughing Gulls)

a ride on a ship, and many are reluctant to

got to admire the bird!)

without venturing further from Alicante than

swim. However they do it, it’s one hell of

I have given some thought to the increasing

La Mata. Undoubtedly more have appeared,

a journey for a small bird. But then birds

incidence of American birds which have made

but escaped the attention of the few birders

are accustomed to taking long trips in their

the long journey.

around.

stride, and very many of our familiar summer

Before about 1960, the vast majority of

Had a bird like the Belted Kingfisher shown

visitors, like Spotted Flycatcher, Swallow,

vagrants from the ‘other side of the pond’

up in Britain, the area would have been

Whitethroat and Willow Warbler, make an

used to turn up in Iceland, Norway or the

inundated with twitchers, lined up in their

annual pilgrimage across the Sahara. When

Scottish isles, but then the ‘mean storm-track’

waxed jackets, Swarowski and Zeiss well to

you fly over its stark, barren wastes in a

moved south – nothing to do with Global

the fore. When the legendary Golden-winged

big jet, you pass over featureless desert for

Warming, just cyclical change, the sort of

Warbler took up residence in a supermarket

perhaps three hours – and you’re doing

thing that gave us an Ice Age a few years ago.

carpark near Maidstone some 19 years ago,

more than 500 miles per hour. The Sahara is

Now most of these exciting birds show up

3,000 birders appeared on the Saturday

scarcely more accomodating to a small bird

on the Scillies, the islands off Brittany, or the

morning. A bus route had to be diverted, and

than the ocean, and they tend to expend up

north coast of Spain, for example.

a collection raised some three grand for the

to a third of their body-weight in the course

As I write, a glance at an appropriate website

local Old Folks’ home.

of the journey. Migration is a truly amazing

shows me that the northern provinces of

You can almost understand ducks, gulls

phenomenon – it must have survival value,

Galicia, Asturias and Cantabria, are currently

and other aquatic birds making the journey

or they wouldn’t undertake these prodigious

hosting no less than seven species of

over that vast ocean, as they can no doubt

trips, and it’s hardly surprising that some,

American wildfowl – Lesser Canada Goose,

take a kip on the water – but a tiny warbler,

especially young, inexperienced birds, get lost

American Wigeon, Black Duck, Blue-winged

smaller than a Robin, which should have

somewhere along the way.

Teal, Ring-necked Duck, Surf Scoter and

been migrating north from Central America

Buffelhead.

– wow! It used to be thought that they had

Naturally, not too many filter through

been ‘given a lift’ by a passing boat, and some

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main photo MARK WELTON

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‘good price good price’ The Lucky Lucky Man

By Spike I’ve just seen the master at work and it was a pleasure to watch. A man so good at what he does he can sell on Christmas day, and, it needs to be said, to JD photographer Mark Welton - a feat only comparable to selling a bacon sandwich to a Rabbi... at a bar mitzvah.

The Lucky Lucky Man (or Looky Looky – depends who you listen to) is a common enough sight on our streets but what do we know about them, apart from the fact that they sell sunglasses and dancing cows? We spoke to Mohammed, a jovial Moroccan who has been pounding the streets of Santa Pola for as long as I can remember, to find out a little bit more about these men who, if nothing else, are very persistent.

A lot of the Lucky Lucky men you see around will be from either Morocco or Algeria and often live in a house with perhaps 10 other fellas who will all go out and work their particular patch every day – usually seven days a week. Some of the money that they earn is sent to their families at home in their native country while the remainder will be used to live a very frugal life. Although Mohammed comes from Algeria, he now lives here with his young family, his kids are in school and, most importantly, he is here legally and unlike many of

his friends, he doesn’t have to constantly look over his shoulder in fear of deportation.

The cheap goods they sell help them earn a living and how good that living is depends on how good they are at selling to you and me, and/or how gullible we are. But, trust me on this one, they are good; if you show them an inkling of interest – then they really go to work on you, it’s a bit like sticking your tongue in a Venus fly trap – they won’t let go until they’ve finished with you. They will always start the bidding at around four times more than they’ll actually accept for the product and, as I say, show them a weakness like ‘oh, your brother’s always wanted a Rolex watch hasn’t he...?’ and you are lighting the touch paper - I watched Mark curl up in a ball and whisper meekly, ‘but I don’t want a watch’, before he eventually bought, not one but, two nice shiny timepieces.

Mohammed didn’t leave it at the watches either as he began explaining to Mark just why he needed an aerobic monkey that, to be fair, could hold a pretty good rhythm to the Birdie Song. alas the monkey lived to

WHY PAY MORE?

dance another day on another tourists table but these guys are good at what they do, very good, and they don’t accept ‘no’ for an answer. They are persistent but if you can just observe one of them bartering with a customer it is amazing to watch as eventually they always sell something to someone. If it’s you, your friendly salesman will assure you that the offer he has made is a ‘good price’ whether it’s 100€ for a watch or the 25€ that you probably eventually pay for it – everything is a ‘good price’ with the Lucky Lucky man and if you’re happy with – then it’s a good price...isn’t it?

They may sometimes be a little annoying when you’re trying to enjoy a peaceful coffee but at least they’re working for their money and not begging. Yes they are pushy, but enter into a barter with these guys and enjoy it – see if you get it for the price you want – whether he relieves you of your cash or not. Finally, and most importantly, where else can you get a genuine pair of ‘Ray- Bun’ Aviator sunglasses for less than a fiver?

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INLAND SPAIN...

By Spike - on the road

Where is it?

de la Constitución.

If you like to drive the odd shot up the fairway, (or close enough…) you will find Almoradi golf in abundance with plenty of local courses available (see sounds like ‘Holiday’) But overall, Almoradi is a quiet town in comparison to others that are closer to the sea but that doesn’t mean it’s boring.

Far from it as there is so much mouth-watering cuisine to be had in this area from several nationalities including Hungarian, Cantonese, Indian, Chinese, Dutch, German, English, and easily the most popular the national Spanish gastronomy.

You’d have to be fussy (or dead) if you cannot find something to suit your tastes – try restaurants in the area of El Cruce which is a cosy part of town and they are all decent, rustic (which means old, but nice), and open from nine till six.

Almoradi is inland about fifteen minutes from Guardamar and its neighbours Algorfa, Catral, Benijofar, Rojales, Dolores, and Benijuzar.

Almoradi

There’s plenty of places to stay here including guest houses, Almoradi hotels, self catering lodging, and camping facilities and don’t worry if you are planning a visit there are places to suit all budgets (this is starting to sound like ‘Holiday 2010’…).

About Almoradi

Almoradi, which is situated just outside Rojales, has a population of around 20,000 and was destroyed in an earthquake in 1829 and when Torrevieja also suffered the same fate, so it doesn’t leave much architecture from before that date so history buffs make a note. But there is still plenty to see in the area including the salt lakes of Torrevieja, one of which is a national park and bird sanctuary with numerous species including the pink flamingo. The local economy is based around agriculture and there is a market held in the town every Saturday selling fresh fruit and vegetables, meats, and plenty of the other usual bargains with around 600 stalls, you’ll find it on Avenida

The Moors and Christians festival, which like most towns in Spain is slightly mental, is normally held in Almoradi around the last week of July.

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LA MARINA HAS NO NEW YEARS SPIRIT On new year’s day myself and friends arrived at La Marina, in past years there has been no problem with parking, this year however they have stopped people parking under the trees and fenced them off, which I do agree with for the protection of the woods.

Now the camping sites of which many has been closed down, the parking was taken up by over 50 illegal campervans, giving us no choice but to park on the roadside. On return we had received a parking ticket. Not all that were parked on the road side, had a parking ticket on it, if all cars had been treated the same and the campers removed, and the fact it was new years day I would feel there was no need to complain, but taking things into account I feel the police have no morals or spirit.

Regards Cherryl By Email

DON’T THEY WANT US? Dear sir, Since I bought my house here in Rojales in 2002, and moved here permanently in 2004 I have seen my income diminish significantly due to the weak euro. I know that is not anybody’s fault in particular but something needs to be done or I, along with many others, will have to sell up (for what I can) and return to the UK because I can’t survive on the pension with the exchange rate as it is.

Does the Spanish government not realise that they will lose many tourists in the future as well as potential residents and tax payers if they don’t do something about it?

Already several friends have returned because the income has dropped by almost 50% from what they were getting (1.50€/£1.00) when they first came over. I don’t want to go back but I don’t see any other options open to me. Don’t the Spanish want us to stay?

Michael and Rita, Rojales.

From the website...

Hello, the family and I are coming for a short break to Gran Alacant in Febuary and I was wanting to know if there are any public indoor swimming pools in the local area to take my 3yr old son. Thank you Lee. Hi Lee, Thanks for the enquiry, the best place I can suggest is the JM hotel at the entrance to Santa Pola – they have a pool and Spa and I believe it’s about 8€ for the hour.

The public pool is yet to be finished...when they find the builder i think...

Cheers, Dave Bull

Dear Jungle Drums, After a magnificent 3 months of events, Expats 4 Afghan Heroes would like to say a huge thanks to all of those who contributed to the 2009 fundraising for Afghan Heroes.

Events that took place last year ranged from a fashion show, a craft fayre and line dancing at various venues. There was also a magnificent Christmas Gala, which raised over €1500 on its own.

Whether you gave your loose change, bought a CD, wristband, or donated a raffle prize - it all added up! From October until December 2009 a staggering total of €3866.32 was raised. The money has been received by Afghan Heroes Charity and translated into £3277.99 Small Beginnings It all started originally when a local line dancer group started to raise money in Spain for Afghan Heroes by selling the Charity CD “He Drinks Tequila (And She Talks Dirty In Spanish)”. The charity was chosen

Don’t Go! No seriously, the Spanish government are desperate to improve things - especially for the billions of tourist euros that come in every summer and are relied upon by many businesses - they have even talked up a return to the Peseta or devaluing of the Euro. We’ll try and find out a bit more for next month but for now, sit tight. ED.

WILL IT STAY UP?

Does anyone have any idea what the long term forecast for the euro is? Whether the euro is predicted to get weaker this year?

John via website If we can find out...we will! ED.

after seeing reports in a British newspaper. Afghan Heroes is known as “The Mothers of The Afghan Heroes Campaign”, as it was started by 8 mothers whose sons all died on July 9th and 10th 2009. The registered charity supports all the troops in theatre in Afghanistan and their families. They help maimed soldiers by re-training them, and are sending gift boxes to all 10,000 troops in Afghanistan.

Expats living outside the UK have now joined in and the cause has attracted support from as far away as Canada, Thailand and Australia.

Jackie Lawson, who was the events co-ordinator for Charlie’s Angels Line Dance Addicts, and whose husband works in Afghanistan, has become so involved that she will be carrying on the fundraising this year too. She is building a website, (www. expats4afghanheroes.com) which will be dedicated to all the fundraising events for the coming year, and where you will be able to order the Afghan Heroes Wristbands, which have already raised over £10,000 in the UK.

performing his tribute to the ‘King of Swing’ Mr Michael Buble plus sensational Pop Idol finalist Lucinda. Reserved seat tickets are only 5 Euros and are available now from Elite Entertainment on 610076204 or 662435311 or The Lounge Bar Torrevieja direct on 966922134. All proceeds from the raffle will be going to Afghan Heroes. There is also the opportunity to buy the Afghan Heroes wristbands – as worn by HRH Prince Harry.

Valentines Night Elite Entertainment will be kindly supporting Afghan Heroes throughout the year.

Their first variety event will be at The Lounge Bar, Agua Nueva in Torrevieja at 10pm on February 14th.

The Valentines night line up will be Wayne Samuels

To all the men and women fighting on foreign shores we thank them and hope

Contact Expats 4 Afghan Heroes are making up a register of entertainers, venues and groups who would like to be part of this years events. Also, if you have any donations, whether it be money or raffle prizes, or would like help organising a fundraising event for Afghan Heroes at your club, or pub, please call Jackie.

To make this a bumper fundraising year, please contact Jackie Lawson on 966796863 or mobile 697501992

they’ll keep safe this year. JD

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Welcome to this month’s computer article written by Richard from BlueMoon Solutions A few people asked me over the Christmas period whether there was an easy way to access the TV on demand services that are so useful in the UK. They wanted to be able to download their favourite programmes and then watch them when they wanted - rather than having to tune in at a certain time and date in order to catch the latest episode.

The answer, of course, is yes there are a number of different ways of gaining access to the services like BBC iPlayer when you are here in Spain. We heard about a whole raft of them (proxy servers etc) when our local English TV went through its “difficult period” just over a year ago. None of the services that I reviewed at the time were quite as good as the service that www.my-private-network.co.uk offer.

My Private Network is a UK company that offer VPN (virtual private network) connections to those of us that are outside the UK. A VPN provides an encrypted and secure connection between two points (in this case between your computer and the servers of My Private Network in the UK) and, in my opinion, provides a much more secure method of access than using a proxy server which provides no encryption whatsoever.

The upshot of all this is that if you setup a My Private Network connection on your computer, you will be able to access the “on demand” services offered in the UK.

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In conjunction with The Jungle Drums, we have negotiated a free trial of My Private Network’s services so that you can try them out and see whether they work with your Internet connection. This free trial will be available throughout the month of February, after which if you want to continue to use their service you will need to contact them direct to sign up.

If you decide to sign up to their service, it is only £5 a month.

Vista, Windows 7 or your mac (yes Alan, even you can use it!) and a broadband Internet connection. The setup is very straight forward (even our editor managed to do it himself without any help so believe me that means it MUST be simple!)

The instructions for setup are available from the providers website at www.myprivate-network.co.uk Just click on the “getting started” button and then follow the instructions for your particular operating system. At this stage, if you want to use the trial account, you don’t need to click on the “sign up now” button as the trial account has already been set up and you should use the following information when creating your connection: Username = BlueMoon Test Account Password = bluemoon Note that there is a space between each word on the username.

Of course, once you have setup your secure connection to the UK, you will need to go to the service that you are interested in using (e.g. BBC iPlayer), this can be found at www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer, if you visit this website before you have setup your connection you will notice that its not available to anyone outside the UK. but after you have your connection setup, you will not receive this message and you will be able to use the service just as if you were in the UK. If you have any difficulties then don’t hesitate to contact us.

In order to take advantage of this service, you will need a computer.

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Hello, may all our readers our Welcome to we ourwish monthly look at theand Spanish customers, past and present a Happy and motoring scene.

Prosperous New Year, we trust that you have enjoyed a fantastic with your No surprises this year,Christmas from the Hacienda family and friends. and Trafico Offices, the rules, and therefore Wecosts, also relating hope that youRe-Registration have, over the of past the to the year, enjoyed our column, which we try imported vehicles and Transfer of Spanish to keep informative, yet light-hearted, as we vehicles, have remained stable. However, on are sure that nobody came to this lovely July 1st the rate of IVA will increase to 18% Country toimpact be a grumpy, oldand sod!ITV Wefees, do and this will on Trafico also, occasionally, veer to a serious nature including no doubt a little bit of inflation on the when we feel that important issues should fees themselves. be shared. go to print, have yeta to hear of any InAs thewe New Year, we we have seen healthy bureaucratic changes that may apply in the increase in enquiries for our comprehensive New Year, but you can be assured that next Re-Registration service and we are encouraged month’s column will bring you up to speed, that people are still arriving here, making a with anything impinges on the welcome changethat to the stories we hearmotoring of those fraternity. returning to the UK. With regard to our Magic Lamp Liquid/Lamp Shineseen operation, it the is becoming increasingly I have lately, in ex-pat press, stories popular, so much so, that we are introducing and correspondence concerning roundabouts a Mobile order to serve those and the useservice, thereof,inwell, I have stumbled customers, in the farther reaches of the across an article, in a Spanish motor magazine, Province, that may find our that made my blood run cold, “Turbo Glorietas”!

Hoyathat location too Planners, distant forpause their here for It La seems Highway convenience.

Please look out for the launch reflection on Spanish highway planning, have of this innovative, new service. thoughts of a new roundabout to improve traffic We would love to hear from you with any flows and safety. mechanical, orby motoring problems, we have This is achieved dedicated lanes, which a wealth of experience to draw upon, which channel traffic to their desired exit and which we are keen to share. should prevent the, “wait till you see the whites Please remember, should you breakdown, of their eyes……… lunge”, that is the traditional that your Insurance Policy invariably Spanish courtesy at roundabouts. includes Breakdown Cover, but if you prefer

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Ohand yea! in a bargain buy, there are several pitfalls we Can you imagine the fun that will be!

can advise you of, but only if you ask before committing to a deal.

On another topic, I read that the law, requiring Similarly, we know that many, motorists to carry a set of there spare are bulbs in the Spanish registered cars, available in vehicle, has been repealed, due to thethe factUK, that these are not always a simple solution, theed on modern cars you need to be a fully qualifi problemsbefore we encounter, such vehicles, mechanic you try to with change one.

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Talking vehicle lighting, our unique service And whatof about Paco Jose; is for thefinally, renovation faded, dirtyand headlamps well I haven’t seen them recently, but I from did gathering pace, with customers travelling hear that Jose’s, “Axiamithingy” was again far and wide. The ITV Stations, throughout the mobile,are whether or bad news is Region, issuingthat’s more good and more failures, for debatable, as for Paco, latest news is thatlet this problem, please do not be caught out, hesolve got so away with his painting, us thecarried problem beforehand. that the new traffic island, in the village, has changed colourif three times in made the past On a final note, this piece has the four deadweeks! line you should see a charming photograph, I hopewill tobe catch the which the up firstwith sightthem of theover infamous holidays, maybe have a beer or two, a salud!

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CROSSWORD 1 DOWN 1. Obscure 2. Feint 3. Territory 4. Male hawk 5. Vagabond 6. Biblical garden 7. Tableland 8. It comes from a hen 9. Traffic circle (British) 10. Distinctive atmosphere 11. Counterfoil 13. Wet 14. Twilled fabric 20. Russian emperor 21. Not our 25. Smell 26. Trousers 27. Obsolete 28. Discharge 29. Armada

30. Really bad 31. Is, formerly 33. Barley bristle 35. Golf ball support 37. Aspersion 39. Biggest 42.

Fifty-three in Roman numerals 44. Avid 47. Livestock farm 49. Swear 52. Arrangement holder 53. Chilled 55. Throat-clearing sound 56. Story 57. Honk 58. Part of an archipelago 59. 1 1 1 1 60. Semiaquatic salamander 62. Secret agent

Across 1. Once ____ a time 5. Recent 8. 365 days 12. Fries, maybe 13. Governs 15. Dogfish 16. Majestic 17. Customize 18. Stroll 19. Emotional 22. 180° from NNW 23. Exist 24. Secular 26. Work stoppage 29. Free from harm or evil 31. Consumed food 32. A peninsula in northeastern Egypt 34. Blabs 36. Air movement devices

38. Unsophisticated 40. Woodworking groove 41. Like some currents 43. Applauds 45. Two fives 46. Sense 48. Supple 50. Whirl 51. Mongrel 52. Ump 54. Declarations 61. Double-reed woodwind 63. Fury 64. Joy 65. Press laundry 66. Care giver 67. Listen 68. Parcels of land 69. Obtain 70. Carry

DOWN 1. Purposes 2. Water carrier 3. Chief Norse god 4. Ambrosia 5. Naked 6. Distinctive flair 7. Sobbed 8. Veer 9. Remove the testicles of a male animal 10. Anagram of “Sail” 11. Garden tool 13. A small fireproof dish 14. Not fresh 20.

Colored part of an eye 21. Not first 25. Chilled 26. Sedate

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27. Beginner 28. Make into law 29. Competitor 30. Deacon 31. Astern 33. Afflict 35. Male offspring 37. Fill to excess 39. Gastronomist 42. Lascivious look 44. Porn 47. Not dirty 49. Shiny 52. Agitate 53. A river in Spain 55. Cozy 56. Monster 57. In order that not 58. Margarine 59. Tidy 60. Arid 62. N N N N

7

36. Picnic insects 38. Handrail post 40. Dissolute man 41. Motionless 43. Move stealthily 45. Anagram of “Sue” 46. Spurt 48. Accord 50. Murres 51. Obtain 52. By way of 54. Neglect 61. Exploits 63. Pandemonium 64. Feudal worker 65. Leak slowly 66. Serf 67. Killed 68. Swirl 69. Encountered 70. Exam

4

Across 1. A very troublesome child 5. Fold over and sew together 8. Historical periods 12. Entice 13. Ways 15. Inflammation of the big toe 16. ___-friendly 17. Overweight 18. Expert 19. Extremely conservative 22. Arrest 23. S 24. Morally admirable 26. Roof of the mouth 29. Medieval 31. Pale 32. Majestic 34. Android

CROSSWORD 2

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FEBRUARY 2010 Aries

Leo

Sagittarius

Star crossed lovers are set to bring a Shakespearean twist to your love life this month, beware window ledges or porches in all of their forms - and hats with feathers in them.

A wise decision you made last month is set to pay dividends. This could be a fractionally lower cholesterol reading after eating all that fresh fish, or it might be that purchase of bank shares that rose sharply after bottoming out last month. Whatever good is about to unfold it is well deserved and you should enjoy it to its fullest extent possibly to the nth degree or at least the fth degree.

This might or might not be the best month in a long while to take a huge risk. The uncertainty is being caused by a small gale on the upper mid side of Jupiter’s lower eastern flank which is set to blow for much of the month. The best advice we can offer is to put off life changing decisions until the wind clears early in March, but perhaps take the odd small risk to keep up the practice.

This year is now firmly set on a positive course that is the envy of all the other star signs, apart from Taurus. Be happy, laugh freely and feel unencumbered by economic woes.

A ‘storm in a teacup’ is a nicely English type way of saying that there may be moments of sudden small scale torment up until 16th of the month, by which time the main danger should be confined to the bathroom by blocking the door with a large cupboard or wardrobe.

Generally, nature programs on the television can be considered safe territory at least for you. Obviously not of the poor calf that’s about to be eaten by a lion who as luck would have it is also a Sagittarius.

Mar 20 - Apr 19

July 23rd - August 23rd

Taurus

Virgo

Capricorn

‘Hot and crispy’ is a phrase you are set to hear repeatedly this month. Pizzas, fried chicken, even toast, are all particularly indicated in your celestial charts.

Your fiery Capricorn temper at the smallest of things is set to increasingly blight your chances to get anything done over the next few years. Count slowly 1 to 10, trying to avoid any added expletives into the count, and let your rage pass. Watch out in particular for danger that you may spark some kind of altercation involving marker pens around coffee break on the 11th.

A chance encounter with a Saturn inspired street urchin, or bum, may set you off on a path of no return.

Follow him until you are under the bridge, but no further.

Aug 23 - Sept 21

Apr 20 - May 19

A strange Harry Potter type incident involving an owl with a message attached to one of its legs will add a moment of both extreme excitement and anguish as feathers fly like you have just come across some kind of real life Tom and Jerry animal fight. Read the message the owl reluctantly gives you carefully. It wasn’t meant for you, but findseeskeepsies as they say. Act on this message carefully.

A crash course in economics theory is all that stands between you and financial oblivion this month. Read any modestly relevant textbook with well thumbed pages for advice.

A book is waiting to be bought by you on an internet site that is set to change your life. But which one is it? Jupiter is adamant that you should discover it for yourself, Neptune and Uranus both want to provide help. Expect little incidents to enter your consciousness this month as the planets attempt to guide your book buying life changing preferences, or not as the case may be.

Libra

Gemini

September 23rd - October 23rd

May 22nd - June 21st In these credit crunch times retailers are only too happy to accept less than the price they are displaying to get a sale, but to get this you must pretend that you don’t really want the thing you are buying at all. The trick Saturn is keen to teach this month is that for best results never ever ever take ‘no’ for an answer. This month you will also learn the hard way not to take ‘the store is closing at 9pm’ for an answer either - if the police have to carry you from the building keep up the indifference at all times for best results. (Saturn thinks we should get a premium rate telephone number and a €39.99 DVD to further explain this technique.)

Donkeys are well starred this month, that, of course, is the furry four legged animal type of donkey and not anyone that you may have named Donkey for reasons known only to yourself.

Software development in particular is set to encroach on your spare time after you accidentally click on a link in an e-mail from Microsoft accidentally sent to you by a developer working on the next edition of Windows.

You will initially be flummoxed by what is known in the trade as ‘an uncaught exception’. You will soon learn that not catching them can cause catastrophic failures in anything you try to do on your computer, and may be something to do with the problems banks are having at the moment - your guess really is as good as theirs.

Scorpio

October 24th - November 22nd

Cancer

‘Let them wait’ will be your motto this month. Keep to this and you will increase your accuracy ten fold, even though your actual productivity will reduce staggeringly. Don’t worry, nobody will notice.

Gladiatorial combat is highly starred this month, either in the sword-and-sandles bashing up another person sense or just the watching it on television sense. In either sense, probably best to avoid starchy foods which will only slow you down, or make you want to go to the toilet at the most inconvenient of moments.

You have always distrusted horoscopes after your parents schemed to give you the medical nightmare star sign that is Cancer. Jupiter agrees, but what to do?

Cake, cookies and chocolate are so well starred this month that you may be tempted to consume enormous quantities of them. Beware, however: Neptune has its eye on an exercise plan for you later in the year that could make your veins pop if you are too overweight. (Remember, Neptune is zillions of miles away and can’t actually see your overweight physique, even though it can make you do things you would rather not do.)

June 22nd - July 22nd

November 23rd - December 21st

December 22nd - January 20th

Aquarius

January 21st - February 18th All your internet shopping bargain hunting is set to come under the influence of Neptune from the 5th after which time bargains will literally drip from your keyboard. Half-priced household goods, dvds, and other products too numerous to mention will be priced so unbelievably low that you will have to pinch yourself that this isn’t all a dream. Yes, you have moved to Bargainsville. No money? - Don’t worry - Saturn has a surprise in store for you on the 10th!

Talking to plants is particularly well starred this month, as is dancing for them which includes many forms of dancing including pole dancing.

Pisces

February 19th - March 20th Your battering-ram style approach to problem solving does have its drawbacks, however it certainly will provide exciting anecdotes to spice up your autobiography, or your book on ‘winning management techniques’. You might try to consider other people’s feelings some of the time, because in Saturn’s current mood it is pretty likely that you will soon need the help of someone who you have recently ‘batter-rammed’.

But, you still have an old friend to call on for just a chat and no more.Yes, watch out, Saturn is trying to trip you up this month. Your only hope is for Neptune to come to your rescue with a cosmic sweeping brush.

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SATURDAY Alcoy, Alicante, Almoradi, Alquerias, Benissa, Bañeres, Calpe, Callosa d’en Sar, Castalla, Catral, Castell de Caste

Elche, Elda, Gaianes, Hondon de las La Romana, Novelda, Pedreguer, Playa Flemenca, Relleu, Salinas, Santa Pola, San Vicente

SUNDAY

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COMPUTER PROBLEMS?

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Plumbing, Bath/Shower Screens, Property Maintenance Odd Jobs Repairs

NO JOB TOO SMALL Phone Clive or Wendy for a free estimate on

617 872 405

cliveinthesun1@yahoo.co.uk

WANTED SECOND HAND FURNITURE

BEST PRICES PAID GOLD & COSTUME JEWELLRY BOUGHT & SOLD

WE COLLECT CALL 96 644 3370 - 625 985 491

LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS SAX

- long /short term stays, - collection & delivery service, - english owned, vet 24 / 7 - walked 3 times daily, - 25mins alicante, 121 care.

- large kennels, - visits welcome Tel: Sonia

96 112 0244 677 343 653

Tel. 638

608 422

NEW LOW! LOW! ADVERTISING RATES - TEL. 606 540 408

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BUSINESS DIRECTORY AIR CONDITIONING

CAR REPAIRS cont...

DIGINOVA Santa Pola Tel 660 631 380 MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

CAR SALES FWR CARS El Altet RENAULT Santa Pola

ANIMAL RESCUE LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 96 112 0244 ALBERGUE Bacarot Tel 96 596 0224

ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 JLCA LAWYERS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 8796 BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603 DENTURES DIRECT Gran alacant Tel. 619 185 122

MAYO Gran Alacant REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant

EURONICS Gran Alacant

Tel 670 260 684

RENAULT Santa Pola

HEARING CENTRAL OPTICA Gran Alacant Tel: 966 698 802

HEATING DIGINOVA Santa Pola Tel: 660 631 380 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

Tel. 96 669 5365

ELECTRICIANS/ELECTRONIC

CAR REPAIRS

HOUSEHOLD SERVICES

CCW ELECTRICAL Gran Alacant Tel 617 872 405

Tel 96 541 3746

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MOSQUITO NETS

MOZISTOP All Areas

NATURE

MOZISTOP All Areas

Tel. 659 259 319

MALCOLM PALMER Santa Pola Tel 96 608 2454

OPTICIANS

CENTRAL OPTICA Gran Alacant Tel 966 698 802 SPECSAVERS Torrevieja Tel. 96 692 7249

Tel. 667 003 367

DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603 FRANCESC AGULLO Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031

DOMESTIC APPLIANCES Tel 665 063 228

JLCA LAWYERS Gran Alacant Tel: 966 698 796

SECOND HAND FURNITURE La Marina Tel. 96 644 3370 BARCLAYS NEARLY NEW San Fulgencio Tel. 96 672 5725 NEW 2 YOU All Areas Tel. 96 571 5605

HEALTH & BEAUTY

CLINICA GRAN ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel: 96 669 7411 EMERGENCY Tel 608 666 455 OLIVER PACK Santa Pola Tel. 96 541 3364

CARPENTRY

MORTGAGES

FURNITURE

FRANCESC AGULLO Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031

DOCTORS

XTRA RENT A CAR Santa Pola Tel 607 850 664

ROSA MARTINEZ Gran Alacant Tel 616 779 034

HAIRDRESSERS

SANTA POLA DIVE ACADEMY Santa Pola Tel. 677 670 468

CAR HIRE

PROFESSIONAL MASSAGE

ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 MICHELLE Gran Alacant Tel 669 791 201

JUST WILLIAM La Marina

DENTAL

Tel. 902 906 015

LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 965 475 463

GARDENING

DIVING

TIBA All Areas

KENNELS

FISCAL

CONVEYANCING

BUSINESS ASSOCIATIONS

JEWELLRY NIKOLAS MICHAEL QUESADA Tel. 634 043 060

FARMACIA GRAN ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7471

COMPUTERS

ALTOMAR Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 9353 CLIVE COOMBER Gran Alacant Tel 669 593 212 MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel: 96 541 4040

GA PROPERTY NEEDS Gran Alacant Tel. 627 711 155 IPG La Marina Tel. 96 679 5233 MASA INTERNATIONAL Gran Alacant Tel. 629 251 747 TOP ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7357

FARMACIAS

BLUE MOON SOLUTIONS All Areas Tel. 655 044 970 FOREVER SOFTWARE All areas Tel. 96 619 2143 SPANISH INKS www.spanishink.com All Areas

BUILDING / MAINTENANCE

Tel: 96 541 4040

ESTATE AGENTS

MONTE MAR BOWLS CLUB Gran Alacant Tel: 96 669 8676

LA MARINA ANIMAL WELFARE La Marina Tel 96 679 5593 MALVINA BOOKS La Romana Tel. 96 569 6656

OSTEOPATH BRITISH

ROSA MARTINEZ Gran Alacant Tel 616 779 034

PAINTERS / DECORATORS

MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

PETS CLINICA VETERINARIA Santa Pola Tel 96 669 2328 LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax Tel 96 547 5463

PHYSIOTHERAPY

ROSA MARTINEZ Gran Alacant Tel 616 779 034

Tel. 659 259 319

How’dyado?

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FROM PAGE 39

Tel 96 541 3746

CLUBS / SOCIETIES

BOOKS

Tel 660 631 380

FLAMENCO - LOS LUNARES Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399

Tel. 96 568 7976

CAR SERVICE CENTRE La Marina Tel. 650 821 082 RE-REGISTRATION SPECIALISTS La Marina Tel. 650 821 082 HEADLAMP EXCHANGE La Marina Tel. 96 610 8938

LOS BELGAS Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8298 LOUNGE BAR La Marina Tel. 96 679 0506 PHOENIX BAR La Marina Tel. 663588340 SUNSET BAR Gran Alacant Tel. 664 277 986

ALMARCHA INSURANCE La Marina Tel. 96 572 9747 ALMARCHA INSURANCE Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7262 GLOBELINK All Areas Tel. 96 626 5000 LINEA DIRECTA All Areas Tel. 902 123 3975 ROWLAND INSURANCE Santa Pola Tel 96 541 3076

ENTERTAINMENT

CAR TRANSFERS

BARS

INSURANCE

ELECTRICIANS/ELECTRONIC cont

DIGINOVA Santa Pola REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant

PERFORMANCE & DIESEL Guardamar Tel. 96 610 7606

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THE DIRECTORY that gets used time and time again - ju

RESTAURANTS cont...

POSTAL OFFEX All Areas

LOS LUNARES Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399 LOUNGE BAR La Marina Tel. 96 679 0506 OUR PLAICE FISH & CHIPS La Marina Tel. 96 679 5418 RINCON MONTE MAR Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7483 SAFFRON Gran Alcant Tel. 96 669 8098 SUNSET BAR gran Alacant Tel. 664 277 986

Tel. 96 672 0959

PROPERTY RENTALS OPI RENTALS Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7438 La Marina Tel. 96 679 5422

PLUMBERS DMF PLUMBING All Areas Tel. 96 679 9740 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

SALVADOR ARTESANO Elche Tel. 96 667 5441

HELEN’S TRUCKS All Areas Tel. 96 540 0616 MISTER VAN All Areas Tel. 697 775 588 PRS REMOVALS All Areas Tel. 634 030 636

SIGNS / SIGN WRITING CORTES SIGNS Santa Pola Tel. 686 464 076 HONDON SIGNS Hondon Tel. 639 292 164

RESTAURANTS

SOLICITORS

AQUARIUS FISH & CHIPS Gran Alacant Tel. 638 306 872 COCOA’S Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8509

EUROSTRETCHER Almoradi Tel. 96 671 6790 SWIMMING POOL (MAINTAINANCE)

JLCA LAWYERS Gran Alacant Tel: 966 698 796

SUNBLINDS TOLDOS PENALVER Santa Pola Tel. 96 543 2350

TAXI Santa Pola DIGINOVA Santa Pola SIMULSAT Santa Pola

SWIMMING POOL (CONSTRUCTION)

VETS

REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 JLCA LAWYERS Gran Alacant Tel: 966 698 796

TOBACCO ESTANCO 7 Santa Pola

Tel. 96 669 4716

TRANSLATORS ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 MICHELLE Gran Alacant Tel 669 791 201 MITCH BULL Gran Alacant Tel. 638 608 422

Tel 609 959 408

TV

GA POOLS Gran Alacant Tel 628 030 184 PJ’s All Areas Tel 619 501 657

TAX ADVICE

SHOES

REMOVALS

TRANSPORT

SUPERMARKETS

Tel 660 631 380 Tel. 677 878 210

CLINICA VETERINARIA Santa Pola Tel 96 669 8463

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ADVERTISE FROM ONLY 10€ GRAN ALACANT

BUS TIMES

‘CUT-OUT-AND-KEEP’ Gran Alacant Local Bus times Weekdays SANTA POLA - ALICANTE

Leave Tamarit

Cruz Roja

GRAN ALACANT

Arenales

Playa Altet

El Altet

Agua Amarga

Alicante Train Bus Sta. RENFE

Weekdays ALICANTE - SANTA POLA

Leave Alicante

Agua Amarga

El Altet

Playa Altet

Arenales

GRAN ALACANT

This service MONDAYS only

This service MONDAYS only

Cruz Roja

8.10 8.50 10.15 10.10 10.30 11.15 11.10 12.00 12.40 13.30 14.10 14.30 15.10 16.10 17.10 18.25 19.15 20.10 20.25 21.40 22.50

Tamarit

10.40 11.25 12.10 14.20

17.20 18.35 19.25 20.25 20.35 21.50

These services pass BABEL

These services will pick up and return in front of apartments in Avenidas: Escandinavia, Noruega, Mediterraneo, Costa Hispania & GA Centre Alicante & back from outside the Farmacia Avda. Mediterraneo

ust ask our readers! - Advertise with us from only 10€

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