jungle drums

This Month:

EL PINET BEACH.. not long left for this little treasure…

URB NAMES

Where do they get them from?

IMPROVE YOUR SPANISH! With JD’s new monthly lessons

EL PRESIDENTE Got the community spirit?

Plus advice on selling you house in spain, construction defects and your rights ROJALES R …and loads more!

A M A D ANERAS A - GUAR

B N LA MARI OSO - HA CA N I A P L & O P A N N TA A FLAME LA ROMA NT - SAN Y A A S C L N A P L O & A D A N RAN ERA - HO NTA PRIM T U NOW G G A P B L A G I RO RIN CATRAL A - CABO J E COVE I V E R TOR

DID YOU KNOW... ...that table football was invented by a Spaniard, Alejandro Finisterre?

A LOT OF PEOPLE DO THAT… ‘There’s so many road signs along here

lic place. Suddenly recognising them and

that I never know which one to take notice

then a quick intro’ before you’re off. This

this month

of’. That sentence, I can confirm, will not

time for me it was in a petrol station in the

stop a Guardia Civil officer from drawing

middle of nowhere and a place where the

5 SPEAKING SPANISH...

his weapon (in this case a pen, fortunately)

attendant had no hair, and only one tooth

and proceeding to write a speeding ticket.

that I could see. Her husband didn’t fare

The fact that I was apparently going faster

much better although he was slightly bet-

holaaaa...

9 ANDREA...

selling your property...

than the fastest al-

ter blessed with ivo-

11 LEGAL MATTERS...

lowed speed on this

ry...and had retained

road didn’t help my

the power of speech

case and he ripped it

Again it was the same

from its pad, pointed

with me feeling like

to my payment op-

Harry

tions,

and

ing for a car to glide

construction defects...

17 NATURE...

short breaks...

19 COMMUNITY SPIRIT why...oh why...?

off

by and give me the

keep up with the kids..

nod. The fact that he

actually say the last

turned up and blasted

23 PUZZLES...

part…but he might

his horn making me

as well have done.

jump like a scared

time to think...

25 FANTASY FOOTY...

it’s kicked off...

31 URB NAMES... did you know...?

33 YOUR CAR IN SPAIN...

‘now

stupid.’

He

sod

wait-

didn’t

21 COMPUTERS...

said

saluted

Palmer

I was off to meet

kitten

did

slightly

someone in a pet-

dampen

rol station. I’m sure

somewhat.

you’ve done it –ar-

Anyway, before I run

ranged

out of space I’d bet-

to

meet

that

idea

someone in a car park or public place so

ter fill you in on what’s happening in the

you could follow them back to your holi-

mag this month. El Pinet beach, near La

day home or a show house, or to collect

Marina is the subject of our feature before

& expat life...

your Viagra... But if you have done it you’ll

it changes completely in eight years’ time.

39 HOROSCOPES...

know what I mean when I say it’s a bit

The lawyers are on the case of construc-

like an eighties cold war spy plot where

tion defects and we welcome Martin (sur-

the two cars pull up side to side and one

name’s too long to spell…) our resident

guy will say ‘do you have the merchan-

Spanish teacher who’ll be offering helpful

dise…?’ which obviously in the case of the

advice and answering questions on how to

Viagra buyer still happens but for most it

get a grip of the lingo…

be legal, and safe...

37 LETTERS..

star gazing JD style...

48-51 WHAT’S ON...?

fiestas, events, trips...

and much much more

is a case of meeting a stranger in a pub-

contact us on: 96 669 5141 - 606 540 408 - ask@thejungledrums.com

3

end Nov’

end Nov 2010

PROPERTIES WANTED

20€

PAYOUT

David Vaughan-Griffiths N.I.F. X-479962D

Tel.

4

for any recommendation that becomes a management contract

0034 660 907 228 - Email: david_dandgrentals@hotmail.com

STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408

DO THEY HAVE

TO …

T S A F O KS

SPEA

Martin Cocimano Native Spanish Language Teacher Eight years experience Groups & individual lessons

It was a choice between doing an article on speaking Spanish or doing a recipe for an omelette or something… so if you don’t learn anything here… we’ll get the pans out.

There’s obviously lots of ways to learn Spanish but none of them seem easy (enough) do they? The books look daunting and when, after you’ve rehearsed all afternoon - before placing your order in perfect Spanish at the restaurant in the evening, the waiter replies in English…well, it’s a bit demoralising isn’t it.

So we asked several native Spanish teachers what was their best tips for getting us speaking the lingo, without going to classes and doing the dreaded studying that puts so many off.

Martin, a teacher in Santa Pola for nine years, and a nice neighbour it should be noted said, that learning a language is all about organising what you are going to learn into your daily routine, and keeping it very simple.

Firstly you just need to learn separate words that you think you may be using, based on what your life in Spain is and the specific context that you want to learn the language for. Ask yourself, why do I want to learn the language? What would it be useful to know how to say in Spanish? Then set up a daily list of words in English with its equivalent in Spanish... I repeat, learn ONLY stuff that you think it’s going to be useful for you! Do not learn words that you will never use.

Be smart, and don’t waste your time!

Secondly, they have to be words that you like and feel familiar with in some way. Learning and studying something new is also about enjoying it, otherwise nothing will stay in. Try not to only learn the words, but play with them, make funny sentences and try saying them out loud with your friends and then watch people reactions. Remember, you have to have fun while doing this.

Thirdly, have in mind your goals in relation to being able to speak Spanish.

Do not lose focus of what you want to achieve. Write down a list of all possible situations where you would like to be using your Spanish and look at them daily. See yourself talking in Spanish, with Spanish neighbours, with people in the street, it doesn’t matter how much Spanish you know in the present time. The attitude that you put into this and the determination of where you want to go and what you want to achieve it’s half of the way.

Fourthly, find the balance between reading and practicing your lists of Spanish words every day but always without pushing yourself too hard.

You need to keep yourself motivated for doing this. Anything that doesn’t motivate you, just don’t do it! Find what of learning the language motivates you and go all that way.

Lessons in person & on the Internet

And remember, learning Spanish is not only learning a language. It’s learning a new culture and getting to know more about other people and their way of life and values. It’s using your mind in creative ways keeping your brain active. It’s making your life in Spain much more fulfilling and enjoyable.

EMAIL

Learning Spanish from Home Conversational & Practical Lessons Confidence and Speaking Skills Simple & Easy Method Immediate Results Santa Pola Alicante info@howtospeakspanish.es

WEB www.howtospeakspanish.es

PHONE (00 34) 600 400 668

5

Formerly Frank’s Bar NOW

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT Every Friday

NIGHTSHIFT KARAOKE

Starts 10pm

2 x 1 on selected cocktails Come dressed in beach wear and enjoy 2 x 1 on our summer cocktail selection

27th November

B

uy

FR

1

-

w E ge vo ith E t 1 uc thi ! he s r 6

Special Guests: SPICE GIRLS TRIBUTE

Sunday - Thursday 18.00pm 2 Vodka + 1 Red Bull = 6€ 2 pints of beer = 4€ 1 glass of wine = 1.50€ 5 quintos = 5€

Avda Mediterraneo

GRAN ALACANT Opposite Caja Murcia

Open 09.00 - 3.30am every day

DRAIN CLEARANCE & REPAIR CCTV INSPECTIONS & SURVEYS LOCKSMITHS DRAIN TRACING ROOT REMOVAL HIGH PRESSURE CLEANING PLUMBING MAINTENANCE & COMMUNITY PACKAGES

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

7

ALTOMAR FINE FINISHING

PROPERTY MAINTENANCE & IMPROVEMENTS S P E C I A L I S T S I N WA L K - I N S H O W E R S PAINTING & DECORATING - GENERAL BUILDING TILING - BALLUSTRADES - SCREEN BLOCKS ELECTRICAL - PLUMBING - DRAINPIPES -GUTTERING LOCKS CHANGED - SHUTTER REPAIRS BOILERS - WATER FILTERS - KITCHEN WORKTOPS GALVANISED GRILLS & GATES Phone Eddie

TEL: 966 699 353 - MOBILE: 648 786 708

LEASEHOLD

FOR SALE

near the future street market in Gran Alacant.

Bar-Restaurant with full equipped kitchen.

Corner local with seaview and terrace with extention possibilities.

Local 100m2 possible to expand to 200m2 (two floors)

Asking price: 60.000€ (Negotiable) Tel: 616 581 472 email: paulvds1@hotmail.com 8

THE CHEAPEST ADVERTISING ON THE COSTA !!- TEL 606 540 408

SELLING YOUR PROPERTY

andrea burns

QUALIFIED GESTORA

Since there are many British homeowners selling up, here are a few pieces of helpful information.

SPANISH PROBATE/INHERITANCES

First of all, an estate agency is obviously your first port of call. They can give you a price orientation of how much you can expect to get for your property but that is a guideline only.

CONVEYANCING

The agency will put the property up for sale at the price that you indicate, if your aspirations are too optimistic it will delay the sale.

The agent’s commission will be added to your price and the property will be advertised for that total.

Therefore, when checking out prices of similar properties at different agencies for your own orientation, bear in mind that these prices already include the agent’s commission.

SPANISH WILLS

POWER OF ATTORNEY

Fiscal help...

The said commission seems high in comparison to the UK but the estate agents do not only find you a buyer they will also take care of the legal side. They will check out debt situations on properties and take care of everything for signing the deed at the notary.

If you sign an “exclusive” agreement with an agency, that is the sole agency, bear in mind that you will still have to pay the agreed commission to that agency even if you sell it privately or through someone else.

Any normal agreement signed means that the agent’s fee can only be charged by the estate agency that has successfully sold your property.

When selling as a non-resident, 3% of the total sales price will be held by the buyers and paid to the tax office on your account. If you have made hardly any or no profit on the sale, you will be entitled to a tax refund.

You will have to file for the said refund within 4 months from the date of sale. Make sure you contact your solicitor or gestor to supply all the necessary documents that have to be attached to the tax declaration.

At this stage you will also have to show proof of payment of the annual non-residents’ income tax. Don’t forget, this includes the payment for the tax year 2009 which is being paid this year!

NOTARY DEEDS PRIVATE SALES CONTRACTS FISCAL REPRESENTATION CAPITAL GAINS TAX NON-RESIDENTS' INCOME TAX N.I.E. NUMBERS RESIDENCE CERTIFICATES URB. DON PUEBLO II BW 140 GRAN ALACANT 96 669 7824 or 639 608 969 ANDREABURNS@ORANGE.ES ‘SINCE 1991’

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

9

November Offers SALE! Homes in Spain El Oasis La Marina

La Marina

Ref:483 170,000€

El Campello

Desirable 3 Bed, 2 Bath Detached Villa – Car included at the right price

Elche Ref:486 159,950€

Ref:479 154,000€

Superb Detached 2 Bed, 2 Bath (en-suites) pool, spacious

La Marina

excellent Detached Villa, spacious 3 Bed, 2 Bath, Pool

Ref:484 148,000€

Detached Villa 2 Bed, 1 Bath Fantastic sea views, excellent location

Daya Nueva

Ref:481 295,000€

La Marina

Stunning Detached villa 4 Bed, 4 Bath, Pool, build size 270 m2 plot 5000 m2

La Marina Ref:473 110,000€

Very Attractive Detached Villa 2 Bed, 1 Bath, corner plot

Ref:461 88,000€

Terraced Bungalow 2 Bed, 1 Bath Close to amenities, bargain real Spain

La Marina La Marina

Ref:478

164,000€

Super 3 Bed, 2 Bath Detached Villa, Community Pool, Good Location

Ref:436 125,000€

La Marina

2 Bed, 1 Bath, spacious Detached Villa, Pool, Prime Location

La Marina Ref:480 345,000€

Ref:476 94,000€

Quad 2 Bed, 2 Bath, spacious, very private, Bargain!

Stunning Detached Villa 3/4 Beds, 4 Baths, Pool, solarium

Ref:433 122,500€

South facing Detached Villa 2 Bed, 1 Bath, Good Location

Avda. Londres 1-A, Local 8, Urb. La Marina San Fulgencio Office: 96 679 5233 email:info@ipgspain.com Visit our website to view our extensive range of properties:www.ipgspain.com 10 ask@thejungledrums.com

Ref 435 42,000€

Terraced 1 Bed, 1 Bath, Perfect for Holiday Home – Bargain Price

Construction Defects

Everyday new buildings are constructed and new con-

that may alter the original design of the building.

struction defects are discovered. Generally speaking,

The time period in which the builder is responsible for

construction defects refer to issues with the structure

damages and/or defects in the construction depends on three

design, poor materials used, inferior workmanship, and/

factors, beginning at the commencement of the construc-

or lack of consideration of the subsurface upon which the

tion up to the repairs of any damages and/or defects in the

building stands, reducing the value of the home. Construc-

construction:

tion defect claims may be made to correct the damages.

If the construction defects and/or damages is in

Following an investigation involving construction experts,

the structure of the building and could result in the building

a homeowner may be able to recover damages based on the

becoming a ruin, then the time period will be 10 years.

circumstances involved. Recovery may include the costs

If the damages and/or defects in the construction

to repair the home, as well as any lost property value. In

or in the common areas affect the conditions of habitability,

some cases, other fees may be repaid, such as court costs

then the time period will be 3 years.

and construction defect attorney´s fees.

OUR SERVICES INCLUDE

& If it relates to the completion of the construction

Construction defects issues, include:

project, the time period will be 1 year.

Defective design, materials or workmanship

The time period to claim for damages

Water intrusion, mold and

and/or defects in the construction pre-

stucco defects

scribes two years from the time the

Landscaping, grading and

damages and/or defects ocurred.

other drainage issues

If you own a home, a flat, represent

Build and remodel esti

a homeowner´s association, or are

mates

an owner of a comercial build-

Building code inspections or

ing or property with construction

violations

defects, our office can help you. We

Statutes of limitations

can provide a proven team of experts and

Warranty claims

surveyors to protect your rights. Also, you

Claims against the developers Other construction-related matters How would I know if I am protected under the construction law in order to file a claim for repairs and/or construction damages?

have an unresolved dispute with a builder or contractor, PELLICER & HEREDIA can assist you.

Our Law Firm welcomes the opportunity to discuss your needs and design a plan of action so that you are well

protected from known and unknown defects in your home.

The Construction Ordinance 38/1999 of November 5th, refers to defects and/or construction damages, regardless of whether the building is for private or public use. This ordinance also refers to construction reforms, or any other action

Please contact us for a free consultation, and if needed, we

will send a surveyor on site to inspect the existing damages.

You may also send us a message through our confidential web site for us to get back to you.

We speak your language and can advise you on all the topics mentioned in this article as well as: - Acting for clients wishing to claim against developers that have defaulted on an agreed delivery date of a property.

- Divorces - Even if your spouse has now left Spain, you may also be able to divorce here, so long as certain conditions are met.

- Rentals, leases and all types of tenancy, whether commercial or private should be adequately drafted, in order for you to be legally protected.

- We can check that the house you are interested in buying is free of any charges and that there are no debts or other liabilities against the property, as well as making sure that the owner has the right to sell the property before you even sign the purchase contract!

Independent Conveyancing

Wills, Probate & Inheritance

Tax Advisors, Chartered Accountants & Surveyors Defective & Illegal Construction Claims

Vehicle and Drivers Licence / Traffic Registration Litigation In All Law Fields

PEACE OF MIND FOR YOU AND YOUR FUTURE

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

Plaza Calvo Sotelo 1 (Below the British Consulate) ALICANTE Cantral plaza 30 HONDON DE LAS NIEVES C/ Libertad 18 FORTUNA

Av.de Madrid 60 PETRER

11

ARE YOU BORED WITH THE TV STATIONS YOU RECEIVE? We can help with our BLACK BOX

PLUS 100’S MORE!!

CALL 96 679 5552 - 96 618 2707 - 696 566 940 See a demonstration at LA MARINA SUNDAY MARKET

12

your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com

Email: info@lemar.es

TRADE IN PLAN* FROM 1st OCTOBER

SAVE UP TO €125 ON YOUR NEW APPLIANCE

*Trade in Plan is funded by la Generalitat Valenciana and therefore it is obligatory to present your DNI or NIE. You must also exchange your old White Goods for your new purchase.

Samsung Fridge Freezer

Samsung Washing Machine

RL-34LCSW 177 X 60 (A+)

PVP €449 OUR PRICE €354,72

SAVE €73,90

WF-8602 6kg, 1200rpm

PVP €349 OUR PRICE €275,10

SAVE €94,28 PVP €380 OUR PRICE €299,50

Bosch Dishwasher S65-44E62 AAA White

Beko Washing Machine

WML-15106 D A-10% 5kg, 1000rpm

PVP €269 OUR PRICE €212,00

SAVE €57,00

SAVE €80,50

Photos displayed are representative and not necessarily items on sale.

LA MARINA

Plaza Sierra Castilla, Local, 10 (next to CAM) Urbanizacion La Marina, San Fulgencio

Tel: 96 679 7703

GRAN ALACANT

Avda. Finlandia 23, Bloque 3 Local. 2 Urb. Gran Alacant, Santa Pola

Tel: 96 669 5365

NEW LOW! LOW! ADVERTISING RATES - TEL. 606 540 408

13

14

THE CHEAPEST ADVERTISING ON THE COSTA !!- TEL 606 540 408

WANT TO BUY? CAN’T SELL?

URGENT MORTGAGES

Notarial Title Deeds

Are you an owner of a property and want to

Spanish Wills

This is the problem nowadays. Houses are

Due to the actual financial situation, the mortgage

not sold as quickly as before, and banks will

Power of Attorney

market has suffered a u- turn of 180 degrees and

not give you a 100% mortgage to allow you

what in the past we could get easily, nowadays it is

to buy the new house.

practically impossible to obtain.

Everyday I receive calls from clients saying

Nowadays a large number of people are in unem-

that they would like to move to a downstairs

ployment situation and because of this, their names

apartment, or to a smaller dwelling, or a

appear on delinquency lists and due to this fact they

bigger one … but they cannot do it as they

cannot apply for a mortgage at the bank. Because of

need first to sell the house they own.

this, there have appeared new entities which do not

But now there is a solution -: you can sell

look up the delinquency lists, do not take into account

your house without rushing into it and buy

our working situation, but they will only require as a

your new home - as if you had sold the old

guarantee the property, land or car that we own.

one.

Your age is not a handicap either. These new entities

All you need to do is apply for a 100% mort-

will not take your age into account and people over

gage on the old and the new house which

70 years old will be able to enjoy of the advantages

will permit you to buy your new house, and

of a mortgage.

you have 5 years to sell the old house.

Doors are not closed for those who have any kind of

How much quota will I pay? During the two

embargo; these entities may also solve the embargo

first years, you will pay a quota equivalent

by mortgaging your property so that you get liquidity

to the quota you should pay if your old

to pay the debts.

house had been sold; and from the third to

You may find a solution to your situation by contact-

the fifth year, you will only pay the interest

ing these entities.

of the outstanding capital.

If interested, do not hesitate to contact us, we offer

And what happens if I sell? You then may

you a free study of your particular case.

Private contracts Conveyancing Land Registry searches Electricity and water contracts Rates contracts Fiscal Representation Tax returns for Residents & Non Residents

change to a new place but can´t until you

cancel the part of the loan that corresponds to the old property and you will only pay the

Fiscal numbers (N.I.E.)

loan of the new property.

House & Car Insurance

Car Import & Transfers Spanish driving licences ...and more!

WE SOLVE PROBLEMS SUCH AS:

If you want more information about this, or

CHARGES CANCELLATION

any other matter, feel free to contact us, we

DEBTS CONSOLIDATION

will be very pleased to assist you.

LIQUIDITY AUCTIONS REPOSSESIONS

Health Insurance

Mortgages

New financial formulas

have sold the old one to pay for it?

www.martinezandballester.com Raquel Martínez Av. Noruega 174, Local 8, Novamar Gran Alacant, 03130 Santa Pola Tel/Fax 966 698 781 Mobile 696 289 407 e-mail: alacant@martinezandballester.com Beatriz Martínez C/ Concepción Nº 6, 1ºA 03181 Torrevieja Tlf: 965 710 353 Fax 965 710 267 Mobile: 696 289 407 - 644 528 862 e-mail: torre@martinezandballester.com rabesma@terra.es

WHY PAY MORE?

for more information contact us at: Raquel Martínez Av. Noruega 174, Local 8, Novamar Gran Alacant, 03130 Santa Pola Tel/Fax 966 698 781 Mobile 696 289 407 e-mail: alacant@martinezandballester.com Beatriz Martínez C/ Concepción Nº 6, 1ºA 03181 Torrevieja Tlf: 965 710 353 Fax 965 710 267 e-mail: torre@martinezandballester.com rabesma@terra.es

the best ad prices- TEL. 606 540 408

15

966 182 411 - 649 964 023 - 619 185 122

16

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

SHORT BREAK?...A few ideas So you’ve a few days to spare from your busy schedule of sitting around on the balcony and nipping down the bar, and you want to see a little of the natural history of Spain? I’ve put together a few itineraries which you can feel free to muck about with. As it happens, I’m just back from one, so we’ll start there. Barry and I have just spent two nights in the Ebro Delta – great area, but brush up your catalan. We called at the impossibly vast Albufera de Valencia on the way – the little wader-scrape of la Ratlla (pronounced ‘ratya’) is rewarding – if you find it! Follow the right hand side of the railway north from Sollana, and you eventually see the screen on your right – great spot for waders of many species. Then onwards past the capital to the Platja de Puçol (getting the hang of this Valenciano stuff!) and walk north along the shore to the Marjal del Moro. Red-knobbed Coot – if you’re lucky – and Purple Swamp-hen, etc. Then it’s a wooshtie up the motorway (much of which you can avoid, with care, and travel free) to Sant Carles de Ràpita and the Delta. Once there, just wander around. The Delta Hotel at Delt’ebre is very much THE place to stay, and won’t break the bank. Rice fields are the name of the game – full of egrets, including Great Whites, Glossy Ibis, gulls and terns. Ducks aand Night Herons etc abound on the huge Bassa d’Encanyissada, and there are plenty of hides to be found – the hotel will give you a map and provide information.

Fancy a trip inland instead? The Sierras de Cazorla and Segura will give you some entertainment, and I’ll give you a great tip for somewhere to stay – a couple of nights at the Cortija Rosa Blanca (White Rose – they’re Yorkshire folk, you see) will not be wasted. E-mail Wendy at wendyandmel@excite.com or phone 953437314. Their place is near Santiago de la Espada, in an idyllic spot – vultures overhead, lots of other raptors, a good chance of Azure-winged Magpies close by, deer, Red Squirrels and wild boar all plentiful – and all about four hours’ drive away.

Don’t want to leave the coast? OK, so try heading south instead.

The area around Aguilas has Moorish Tortoise – and a few birds include a pair of Bonelli’s Eagle. Carry on down, and you can, with luck, find Trumpeter Finch near the tawdry ‘Mini-Hollywood’ set-up at Tabernas. There’s good sea-watching near San José, a great place for waders and gulls etc at the Cabo de Gata salinas, while the semi-desert just inland holds Dupont’s Lark – if you can find them – as well as Little Bustard, Black-bellied Sandgrouse and Stone Curlew. In an area so close to the African coast, just about anything can occur, and there are fairly frequent reports of rare birds. The botanists inform me that the zone is fascinating for its plant-life.

These are far from being the only trips you can make – the lagoons and huge plains of Castilla – la Mancha, the Serengetilike reserve of Cabañeros, the rugged mountains of the Maestrazgo, the heights of the Sierra Nevada – all are there for you to visit, and can be done with a two-night stopover, but would repay longer visits too. We live in a lovely, often underpopulated, country. Enjoy!

Alondra Dupont

Calamon

Great white Egret

Red-Knobbed Coot

17

LIVING IN SPAIN We’ve heard them called ‘Little Hitlers’

property in Spain, it is very important

the year ahead for the communal areas

and worse so what is El Presidente for

to know how the Comunidad de Propi-

and the upkeep in general. These are

and what do all the others do? And what

etarios (Neighbourhood Committee) is

then charged to residents in monthly,

is the ‘Community’?

set up. Depending on whether you like

bimonthly, or quarterly amounts which

Let me point at out that if you have

being shouted at or not, if you are buy-

each household will have to pay as

property in Spain that is completely

ing newly-built Spanish real estate, then

maintenance of the property and ser-

self-contained, then this article is not

it might be in your interests to be on the

vices.

for you…but it’s still interesting (sort

initial committee to have a say in how

Another thankless task the committee

of) so read on. However, if your prop-

you want things to be organised from

must perform is to set the rules of the

erty forms part of a communal Spanish

the beginning.

community and enforce them. This is

estate that is divided between various

The Comunidad de Propietarios is a

where many people feel they are being

owners, such as apartment blocks, or

legally constituted committee. Any

dictated to. The idea is to avoid friction

an urbanisation with some common

property in Spain which is covered by

between neighbours before it starts by

areas such as a swimming pool or a

the Ley de Propiedad Horizontal (that’s

setting some agreed guidelines and

communal garage etc. like most Span-

what it’s called-honestly) is obliged by

limits...this is when the arguments usu-

ish properties, then you should read on.

Spanish law to have a residents com-

ally start…

An important thing to find out is that, if

mittee. It’s at this point that the alarm

However, somebody has to do it and

you are buying a

bells ringing for many expats but this

here is just a sample of some the things

month we’ll try and clarify some of the

a committee will be responsible for

legal and practical matters which will

organising, swimming pool rules, lifts,

mean you can sleep at night…so long

parking, cleaning, general appearance

secondhand

as the neighbours have finished chatting… The Law, the Ley

pets, security… and there’s more.

de Propiedad Horizontal,

So who makes up the committee, or

dictates how every com-

Junta?

mittee has to carry out

A committee will be made up of a Com-

its duties.

munity President, a Vice president, a

What does the Comuni-

Secretary and (usually) 4 ordinary mem-

dad de Propietarios do?

bers known as Vocales or ‘spokespeo-

One of the most impor-

ple’. This committee is completed by

tant functions of the

the Administrator. All of these will have

Comunidad de Vecinos—

been elected by the property owners

as it is also called—is

from among the neighbours. No outsid-

to organise the budget

ers are obviously allowed and

of community costs for

18

of the property, structural work, noise,

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

all property owners

Community Spirit.

Part one

have the right to a vote no matter

The annual budget.

y Urbanas if he’s worth his salt appar-

whether they are Spanish or not. One

◦Ensuring that the Administrator is do-

ently and to prove it he should be able

household: one vote, by the way, and

ing his duty.

to give you his colegiado number. That

you can always ask your neighbour to

◦Making decisions on day to day issues

will show that he is trained and quali-

vote for you should you be away.

that come to their attention.

fied to administrate property in Spain,

Elections normally occur once per year

◦Organising extraordinary general meet-

or Spanish real estate of any kind. His

and at these will be decided the com-

ings when needed.

is a paid position, unlike anyone else

mittee.

◦Informing other property owners of im-

on the committee, and he will normally

Electing the Community President

portant decisions or changes that have

have his own office nearby. Although

Elected at the AGM, either by vote as

to be made.

he is paid he is still elected on a yearly

per the rest of the committee or and this

◦If necessary, using legal channels to

basis at the same time as the committee

is the bit that most compare to Rus-

enforce commonly agreed rules.

of the Comunidad de Propietarios and

sian roulette – your fate can also be

basically his job is to help the commit-

determined by a ‘luck-of-the-draw’ (the

This means they have to organise com-

Spanish love their lotteries – it should

mittee meetings on a regular basis, and

be ‘bad luck…’), or by rotation. What

make decisions that can sometimes be

this means that you could become the

unpopular with their neighbours. In an

Community president for a year whether

effort to keep things as complicated as

you want it or not, and even if you don’t

possible they are governed by two sets

speak the language. Before you start

of rules. The obligatory statute Estatuto

thinking you’ll just turn it down, stop –

de Comunidad which is fixed by Span-

they have that covered too, but more on

ish law, and the Internal Agreement,

that later.

which basically means the general

Most Spanish property owners (being

consensus decisions of the community

normal, sane people) do not normally

as written in the Régimen Interno’.

rush for this post, if they can help it.

It is a time consuming and unappreciated, thankless job that will have your

Next month…

The meetings, paying your ‘Comunidad’ and getting elected.

The Administrator

The administrator is a professional who

doorbell ringing night and day. The

would normally belong to the College of

unlucky…I mean president is also the

Administrators and will have a title such

legal representative of the community

as Administrador de la Comuni-

of property owners, so he/she will also

dad de Propietarios if he is a

be the official key holder…I can’t even

qualified Administra-

find my own so that rules me out.

dor de Fincas.

The Committee is there to ensure the

tee operate correctly and legally.

He should be

smooth running of the community

a registered

of property owners by:

member of the

◦Implementing decisions taken at

Colegio de Ad-

meetings.

ministradores de

◦Agreeing budgetary expenditures.

Fincas Rústicas

WHY PAY MORE?

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W in q th fo v ta L w th m

O v e c a

22

your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com

CROSSWORD 1

CROSSWORD 2

Alpha-Cross 01 The first letter of each answer is written next to its clue in alphabetical order. One letter has already been entered.

Can you find the words then fit them correctly into the grid?

1. Chivalrous (7) 2. Guides (5) 3. Distinguish (7) 4. Writing implement (6) 5. Carapace (5) 6. Lured (7) 7. Intended (5) 13. Curt (7) 15. Ludicrous (7) 16. Interminable (7) 17. Sheep known for its high quality fleece (6) 18. Greek letter (5) 19. Paragon (5) 21. Male monarchs (5)

9

7

O. Taxing (7) P. Monetary (9) R. Parts of a ladder (5) S. Hallowed (6) S. Time of year (6) S. Creep (5) T. Mock (5) T. Betrayal (7) T. Shudder (6) T. Branch of a river (9) U. Common (5) V. Planet (5) Y. Units of time (5)

Down

5

1 4 2

0

4

A. Creatures (7) A. Irritated (7) A. Main artery (5) A. Greed (7) B. Armed robber (6) B. Candid (5) C. Seizure (7) C. Stringed instrument (5) D. Measures of medicine (5) E. Train (7) H. Source of danger (6) I. Envisage (7) O. Acquire (6)

Across 1. Extremely cold (5) 4. Out of fashion (5) 8. Communication channel (7) 9. Crowd scene actor (5) 10. Part of a church (5) 11. Unlawful (7) 12. Natural abilities or qualities (6) 14. Conundrum (6) 18. Malleable (7) 20. Irritated (5) 22. Spear (5) 23. Acute (7) 24. Stringed instrument (5) 25. Overheads (5)

Wordoku key word: Certainly

1

4

WHY PAY MORE?

3

Sack A poor farmer went to the market to sell some peas and lentils. However, as he had only one sack and didn’t want to mix peas and lentils, he poured in the peas first, tied the sack in the middle, and then filled the top portion of the sack with the lentils. At the market a rich innkeeper happened by with his own sack. He wanted to buy the peas, but he did not want the lentils.

Pouring the seed anywhere else but the sacks is considered soiling. Trading sacks is not allowed. The farmer can’t cut a hole in his sack.

How would you transfer the peas to the innkeeper’s sack, which he wants to keep, without soiling the produce?

answers on page 47

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23

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We also carry out pre-ITV inspections and take cars for the actual ITV tests.

Mark, the owner, has more than 20 years experience as a mechanic, and colleague Steve, is a Ford trained Master Technician (which is the highest standard awarded to any technician in Europe), so you can be assured you are being served by the best.

The Centre’s reputation is built on expertise and quality of service, and many of its customers are referred by word of mouth recommendations.

The centre opens weekdays from 9am to 6pm (no Siesta) Saturday mornings 9am to 1pm.

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up? who’s moved who’s moved down? oing? d u o y e r a how Alan McGinn

543 54 500 36 Armoured FC 1 Stuart Howe 490 57 ifonly 2 enda fallon 487 46 endas team 3 Jean Byrne ng...

477 45 are you winni OT Dreamteam 4 paul barton 1 47 49 fcbartonini 5 er y week..? vic cooper 471 s ...or losing ev er 49 nn gu ld or er nw lli su 6 Martin Rou 460 47 majors.spurs 7 Simon ions 459 47 RKINS Destinations PA M 8 A D A 457 nd11 61 JohnnyWarksLege 9 Katrina Hobson october summary 449 49 lly Kats Tigers ne on D 10 m Ji 448 ret 47 CostaBlancaCla As I write this report from a cold, wet and 11 Tom Byrne 446 46 old G windy UK (don’t you just love going home & e en w re re G C f 12 Colin O 446 WE to visit the in-laws?), we still have another E R 46 C Y E N e K w C O C 13 aymond Lo R round of October fixtures to get through.

4 44 47 lamarinagooner So, don’t forget to login to http://fantasy.

14 mie Ashton Ja 2 44 48 a CF an de m premierleague.com to get the latest league si is te xa hi Ja W an 15 Norm 437 standings and Manager of the Month.

39 OME H go s e nk w Ya 16 michael ho 1 43 36 were back!

Great to see we are up to 50 teams now 17 Paul Payne 427 y rm A te 50 hi W d an and judging by those of you I have met e lu B nd la Ire 18 Mrs 422 recently, the Fantasy Football obsession 40 FINEST S D N LA E e IR w 19 hilary lo 1 seems to be taking over many of our lives!

42 47 happydogstoo ve Hobson 20 As the injuries and suspensions start to te S 7 41 49 ne kick in, the wheeling and dealing in transtrans yr Hobbo’s Heroes B m To 21 Old 415 45 fer market becomes serious business. AlAl eds R n to in w k S ac 22 Neill Fl 0 though, it is a fact that any player I bring 41 os 36 er World Cup H 23 in will go from goal machine to lame duck Mark Pollitt 406 36 td U is ay as w na in just a few clicks of the mouse.

El O an G ry 24 ar B 402 36 ammers H n do on rt H ha rd 25 richa 389 Who’s up and who’s down for October 28 G.A fantasy XI hard Hughes 26 ic R then?

6 38 y 34 HughesyWoose 27 Gary Bilton 383 31 Hilary Lowe and team Happydogstoo Marching On 28 keith mccormack 3 38 have had a storming month. Although 50 GATITO 29 G A RED in 20th position overall, they managed 2 38 47 Manc Red to pull in a very impressive 163 points 30 les Lowne Ju 380 51 this month, just four points behind top Phoney Dog Poo 31 ymond wilby ra 367 of the table stalwart Alan McGinn / ArAr s 43 er ng ra ys marra 32 Barry Jones moured FC in the Manager of the Month 6 36 40 m to Rock Bot stakes. Check the tables and if you are 33 joe mcaloon 348 41 cheat e th y the top manager for October, email me nr he 34 dave bull 344 44 s paul@masainternational.com m ru D le Jung 35 Bob Flitney 2 to claim your meal for two at the Hotel 34 5 41 nt ca la Gran A Matthewman 36 L MASA. C 1 33 D 30 STORRY UNITE 37 Graham Brown 327 Enda Fallon and Endas Team have 57 Milko 38 endall R is w Le 325 shot up the table to 3rd place, ale 36 ok bl ll ta l ’s el JJB 39 Paul Campb though Stuart Howe retains second 2 32 50 campbells spot. Armoured FC appear to be pull40 Steve f 4 30 63 7 n7 r ing away in first place, so good luck de de es en ev av st C 41 Richard 299 ns to everyone in November in catching io ut 5 ol S n oo eM 5 lu B 42 ick Hardy M him up. This month I’m not going 2 29 41 Campoverde C.F drums le to even mention Mitch Bull regain43 ng ju 4 27 50 nt News ca la A ing his bottom of the table of table n ra a G ib al S l 44 Pau 265 65 position, as my own team seems to tal en D h a is ib rit al B S 45 Michael 5 be plummeting faster than a..... very 25 ur 51 lo blue is the co 46 fast plummeting thing.

Jake Lowe 1 24 43 e jakakaka w Lo ff 47 eo G 223 dsLeeds 51 Paul Payne WeAreLeedsLee 48 Alex Poeton 8 18 e bl 26 Urine Trou 49 mitch bull R TO LA S N A TR 25 THE 50

Estate Agents Victoria, Fiona Edwards and Jos茅 Luis Llanos ( husband and wife), have been established in the fishing village of Santa Pola for almost 30 years.

They are able to offer a large range of property on the Costa Blanca and above all a complete after-sales service, as listed below.

All their staff have a good knowledge of the English language and also speak German.

A free consultation, property valuation and advice is given to all those considering selling their property, also an estimated calculation on what they can expect to receive after paying all costs.

You may call us for an appointment at any time , at our offices situated in Gran Alacant.

FEEL AT HOME We also offer professional advice on all the following matters.

Taxes for residents and non-residents.

Inheritance tax Spanish wills Application of fiscal numbers(N.I.E.) Application of Spanish residency Transfer of documents on Spanish vehicles Rent a Car Translations Help with medical enquiries Transfer of property ownership Advice on buying and selling in Spain Property insurance Health insurance Power of Attorney Advice on mortgages Advice on rentals Money transfers with excellent rates to any part of the word at no cost.

Free consultations

www.victoria.es

Inmobiliaria Victoria Avda. Escandinavia, 72 C.C. Altomar II L.10 03130 Gran Alacant 路 Santa Pola Tlf. 966697779 路 966698180 Fax 966697378 sp@victoria.es

26

庐

inmobiliaria - estate agent www.victoria.es

STILL the cheapest advertising around- TEL. 606 540 408

Ref: 2579 - Puerto Marino

Ref:2676 Puerto Marino

Ref: 2533 Anara

Ref: 2472 Monte y Mar

Duplex, 2 bed, dining room, independent kitchen, 2 bath, 1 toilet, galery and 2 gardens. Communal swimming pool, parking space and A/A in all the house. Fully furnished.

Villa with 4 bedrooms, dining room with fire place, independent kitchen, 2 bathrooms and toilet. Air conditioning , garage divided in office and garage.

P.V.P 155.000€

Corner semi-detached house with private swimming pool. Dining room, 3 bedrooms, independent kitchen, 2 bath, 1 toilet with shower, galery, porch and big garden on plot of 250m2 with parking area. Furnished.

P.V.P 378.000 €

Villa with private swimming pool in excellent conditions, 3 bed, 3 bath, lounge/dining room, independent kitchen and storage room.

Plot of 394 m2

Ref: 2637 Monte y Mar

Ref: 2534 Gran Vista

Ref: 2700 Gran Vista

Ref: 2684 Novamar IV

Villa with wonderful garden and small swimmingpool. 2 bed, independent kitchen, dining room with fire place, 1 bathroom, 1 toilet, porch, roof solarium with storage room. In very good conditions.

Corner property in a beautiful 30.000m2-complex with 2 bedrooms, open kitchen, dining room with fire place and sea views, terrace and parking space.Air aconditioning.

Fantastic semi-detached duplex. 2 bed, 2 bath, loft, refurbished open kitchen and lounge with chimney. Nice seaviews.

Bungalow on top floor with solarium, 2 bed, dining room, refurbished kitchen, 2 bath and terrace. Underground garage with storage room. Private complex with swimming pool and green areas. Close to ammenities and services. Only 15 minutes to the sea.

P.V.P 199.000€

P.V.P 240.000€

P.V.P 210.000 €

P.V.P 180.000 €

P.V.P 295.000 €

P.V.P 149.000 €

Ref: 2564 Novamar V

Ref: 2474 Novamar II

Ref: 2620 Novamar III

Ref: 2626 Don Pueblo

Bungalow on top floor with 2 bed, open kichen, 2 bath, dining room, galery, big solarium with sea views. Fully furnished and household appliances.

Apartament on top floor in perfect conditions in one of the nicest urbanisations in this area.

Comprising of 2 bed, bath, lounge/dining room, terrace and parking

P.V.P 115.000€

Duplex in a private complex with 3 bed, 1 bath with bath and shower, 1 toilet with shower, open kitchen, lounge, garden, solarium, storage room, galery and garage. Closed to services and amenities.

Duplex with 3 bed completely refurbish, dining room with fire place, independent kitchen, 1 bath, 1 toilet, several terraces and basement connecting with the dining room. Private complex with swmimming pool, tennis court and green areas.

Ref: 1747 Don Pueblo

Ref: 2687- Don Pueblo

Ref: 2707 Altomar I

P.V.P 183.750 € Ref: 2576 El Faro

Duplex 3+2 bed,living room with fire place, large independent kitchen, 2 bath, 1 toilet, 4 terraces and extra dining room in the basement. Private complex with swimming pool, tennis court and parking space.

Duplex with 3 bed, independent kitchen, 2 bath, dining room, terrace, garden and underground parking space. Private complex with swimming pool, tennis court and green areas.

Duplex with 3 bed, dining room, independent kitchen, 2 bath, 1 toilet, galery, terrace, solarium and frontgarden.

Complex with swimming pool.

Duplex with 3 bed, open kitchen, 1 bath, 1 toilet, terrace, solarium and garden. Private complex with swimming pool and green areas.

Ref : 2698 Brisas del Faro

Ref: 2606 Monte y Mar

Ref: 2503 Carabasi

Ref: 2471 Victoria Playa

Duplex with 3 bed, dining room, open kitchen, 2 bath, 1 toilet, balcony, terrace and roof solarium. Fully furnished and A/A. Private complex with swimming pool, tennis court and closed to amenities.

Villa with 3 bed, dining room with fire place, independent kitchen, 2 bath, 1 toilet with shower, terrace and roof solarium. Garden on plot of 279 m2 and private swimming pool.

Duplex with incredible seaviews. 4 bed, 2 bath, lounge, open kitchen, terrace, garden and solarium. Closed private urbanisation with large garden area, padel court and swimmingpool

Fantastic semi detached duplex with a big terrace, large bright lounge, 2 bath, independent kitchen, 3 bed, 2 solarium, balcony with sea views, storage room and a big terrace. Air conditioned through-out the property.

P.V.P 128.000 €

P.V.P 199.000 €

PVP 130.000 €

P.V.P. 155.000 €

Ref: 255.000 €

Before you buy, come and visit us! We have what you are looking for!

P.V.P 180.000 €

P.V.P. 142.000 €

Ref: 145.000 €

P.V.P 210.000 €

Ref: 185.000 €

® inmobiliaria - estate agent

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

27

28

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

29

30

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720 959 - www.easypost.es

email: alicantesouth@easypost.es

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e to th Availabl

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POSTAL & COURIER

Regular readers will have noticed the Easypost logo now appearing in the magazine and on various other adverts too. Who are they? What do they do?

Easypost who trade as MJM Courier Services used to be a franchise of a courier company, but now they’ve gone and cut the apron strings and are now trading independently as Easypost.es. What this means for you the reader is that they now have full control over their services. Meaning we get a better service, good eh? They also nudged me in the ribs (a bit too hard I might add) to let you know that now they are independent they are able to provide a better and faster range of services than before.

Fearing another nudge (or worse) I’d better assure current customers that all their outbound mail and courier services will continue, but now they will be flying items every day of the working week.

In other words, your post will get there quicker (even I could work that one out…).

A next day courier delivery service within Europe and 48 hours delivery service to the Rest of the World isn’t bad is it? Add to that their inbound mail and courier service which now has a faster delivery time to you living here in Spain, and the very popular British passport renewal service.

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AVOID EXCESS CHARGES WITH AIRLINES

Think yourselves lucky…

While driving around the region last

the evening after they’d been attend-

more exotic…in Blackpool? Or Wales?

month something dawned on me.

ing trade fairs and selling (yet to be

Some are just a misrepresentation,

Something that’s been niggling away

built) houses? They went to the local

for example Victoria Playa (beach) is

at the back of my brain for a while

pub of course. Possibly the Golden

quite a way from anything resembling

(no…not piles) and I finally (I think)

Olive, the Lighthouse or the Arches –

sand and how about Mil Palmeras

have it figured out.

translate them into Spanish and you

which sounds like a Moroccan bou-

Have you ever wondered where the

find even more Urb’ names; El Olivo

doir…apparently.

Spanish constructors get the names

del Oro, El Faro and Los Arcos. I’m

One of the biggest Urb’s in Spain,

for their urbanisations? I have and

telling you now folks – if you

it’s bothered me (possibly more than

were wondering why

it should have) for quite a while, but

your Urb’

when you read about my thoughts on

has its

American boxer… but

this subject I think you’ll agree that

name

I guess that is why

it is clearly well thought out and, of

it is

Camposol, literally translated means sunny field which, to me, sounds like a 1950’s

we learn not to

course, correct.

translate Spanish

Cast your mind back about ten years

words directly into

to when the Spanish constructors

English (and into

had just bought several (thousand)

an English con-

ploughed fields, having possibly

text) because then

passed the relevant local and large

they just don’t make

planning officer a large brown en-

sense…

velope during a large and expensive

I need to apologise in

meal. Now they just needed to sell

more

them – so they went to the UK and

than likely

stayed in guesthouses with names

because the

Blancas’…but they obviously (and seri-

such as Sea Breeze, The Oasis, The

people who built it decided to stay at

ously) got bored by the time they got

Sea & Mountain, The Coves, Sea view,

The Dunes in Lytham…just be thank-

to naming yours…didn’t they?

I could go on. I reckon you’re with

ful they didn’t book in at The Dog and

But fortunately for you, dear reader,

me on this one and can probably see

Duck…

the constructors didn’t come and stay

the theory taking shape now, and I’ve

Ok so my theory stutters a little when

in my home town of Brighton or you,

not even mentioned the Bella Vista

you consider Urb’ names such as,

my friend, would now be living in

– translate your Urb name, does it

Sueno Azul - which sounds downright

somewhere called the Pink Coconut…

sounds like a British B & B?

pornographic – or does it? Did the

To endorse the fact that I know I’m

constructors only spend their evenings

right, what did the constructors do in

in pubs or did they visit somewhere

advance to all those people living in anywhere called ‘Las Casas

www.TorreviejaForums.com For everything to do with Torrevieja and all areas from Alicante to Murcia (coastal and inland) contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

31

      

     





       



     



 

 

32

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Autumn’s here….

Clocks go back, nights draw in, temperatures

Quite clever stuff, don’t you think, but given all

drop alarmingly, depending where you live, (with-

the wonders it performs, the system should be

in JUNGLE DRUMS newly extended distribution

flushed and the coolant replaced every 2 years.

area) and the Boss gets grumpy and says, that

That leads on to the brakes, which you will all

instead of the usual waffle, we should hunker

agree, are pretty fundamental to safe motoring.

down, get our hands dirty, with some hardcore

The hydraulic fluid, which provides the action be-

technical stuff. Yeah!

tween pedal and each wheel brake, is hydroscopic, (told it was going to be hard core technical),

So, lets consider the well being of your beloved,

which means, (pause to consult with the Boss),

motorcar, can it withstand the challenge of a cold

that it absorbs moisture, which over time dilutes

winter, even Paco and Jose, will be providing

the fluid, rendering it less effective in its perfor perfor-

extra hay for their donkeys at this time of year!!

mance, bringing you closer, than you thought, to

Does your battery, anti-freeze, (engine coolant)

the back end of that donkey cart in front.

or brakes, need checking or changing.

To avoid this unwelcome situation, it is advisBatteries consume more energy, through starting

able, at least every two years or when replacing

on cooler mornings and as you are likely to use

major brake components, to drain and replace

the lights and other ancillaries more often, the

the brake fluid.

battery and charging system are under increased load, perhaps causing already weak units to fail

If you have concerns with your battery, coolant or

completely and inconveniently. Not good.

brake fluid, we would welcome a visit, when we will check and report on the condition on these

I know your thinking, “anti-freeze in Spain”, but

elements.

bear with me, Spanish water quality, high in minerals and calcium, can cause unseen damage

Well that has really frazzled my brain, lets hope,

within, the cooling system, engine block and aux-

next month, we can get back to some lighter

iliaries. Therefore we only use, and recommend

topics, so hasta luego, but don’t forget you can

the use of, COOLANT, for the cooling system,

contact us,

its properties withstand higher temperatures,

Either, by phone;

throughout the summer, and provide anti-freeze

965 419 769, or e-mail: mick@completemotoringsolutions.es

protection, through the winter and last, but not least, provide corrosion protection for the radiator, water pump, engine block and ancillaries.

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SEE THE LIGHT USE THE HEADLAMP EXCHANGE EXCHANGE FULL WORKSHOP FACILITIES AVDA DE L’ALEGRIA 106 FOR ALL YOUR CAR NEEDS LA MARINA VILLAGE SPARES, OIL FILTERS, 03194 ELCHE BRAKES, TYRES ETC. ALICANTE CALL 96 541 9769 www.COMPLETEMOTORINGSOLUTIONS.ES contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

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Any legal businesses wishing to join

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Tel: 902 906 015

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34

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

This is Spain

Exhibitions lots of Christmas goodies!

The next event of the very successful ‘This is Spain Exhibitions’ will be held on the Costa Blanca/Costa Calida border at the prestigious four star ‘Hotel Thalasia’ in San Pedro del Pinatar. The exhibition will run from the 19th – 21st November 2010, an excellent time for the Christmas market for businesses and the public alike.

With the exhibition being held so close to Christmas, it will be an ideal opportunity for businesses to promote their Christmas products and gift vouchers. Anyone thinking of surprising their loved one with a kitten, bow in hair, for Christmas will be able to obtain one free of charge from a cat charity!

The venue is a modern, luxury hotel with easy access from both the N332 and the AP7 motorways and only 20 minutes from Torrevieja. The exhibition hall is very large, beautifully appointed and has a separate access, with a wheelchair ramp. It is fully air-conditioned. For those with SatNav, the address is Avda. Del Puerto, 327-329 30740 San Pedro del Pinatar Murcia.

Always very popular at the exhibitions are the cheeses and wines and this one will be no exception but with the addition of various chocolates!

Spigelu Crystal by Riedel, knives by Laguiole and luxury jellies and chutneys will also be on offer.

this is spain

As you would expect in a four star hotel, there are restaurants and there will be specific bar and snack bar areas for the exhibition weekend in addition to comfortable seating where visitors can relax. To reach the hotel, take the Lo Pagan coast road from the roundabout with the boat on the N332. The hotel is on the right hand side. There is ample parking. For more information about the venue, take a look at www.thalasia. com Having learnt a lot over the years, Christine now limits the number of each type of business that can exhibit at the shows. This means that visitors have a wide range of products and services to see, and that companies can promote their products without being overwhelmed by competition. For exhibitors and visitors alike, there will be a free crèche available within the hotel for young children over the age of two.

Don’t miss all those great films on satellite television this year and get all your Christmas presents from the displays of jewellery, watches, handbags, remote control toys and more. Those concerned about keeping warm in the months ahead can see new heating systems.

Bookings are now being taken, with businesses such as financial services, heating systems, satellite television, glass curtains, health and beauty, accessories and costume jewellery, home and garden, schools, pool products and much more already signed up. Charities such as the Costa Blanca Samaritans and the Butterfly Children will also be represented.

THE CHEAPEST ADVERTISING ON THE COSTA !!- TEL 606 540 408

35

EL

PINET a view of the past words Dave Bull photos Mark Welton

36

Culture & Progress…it’s a fine line.. it’s just a shame the politicians drew it…

In the years after the Second World War the residents of Crevillente decided it was about time that they started to hit the beach at the weekends and spend their summers by the sea. They headed for El Pinet beach, near La Marina village, and set up camp, literally.

Each year these same people would come down and set up their ‘shelter’ for the summer and each year they would respect each other’s space by keeping to the same areas. Over time those canvas and wood shelters have changed into brick-built chalets but more or less, they remain in the

same family as those who first stuck their flag in the ground almost seventy years ago.

But in 2018 El Pinet beach will have come full circle in the space of less than a century from when it was first ‘civilized’ - and will be razed to the ground under the 1988 Ley de la Costa which has affected properties all along the coast including Santa Pola and Guardamar.

Amongst the more than fifty well-kept chalets that line the beach is the Hostal Maruja which has sat at the centre of this parade for sixty years and as you can see from the images, hasn’t

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

of interest for protecting years ago when the locals changed at all. But then places like this they would from Crevillente made the neither has most of the be doing the country a fafrontage of these buildings. trek down by car, bike and vour.

Ok, here and there another horse and cart. Jose AntoIn my opinion this is an nio remembers those days floor has been added and the obligatory satellite dish and says the beaches were important part of Spain, part of its culture, history full of neighbours from the is a wart on the architecand appeal and by runtown. ture but apart from that ning a ruler along a map In 1995 the front of the the view is the same as of the coast to enforce a hostal was destroyed by it was about the time our twenty two year old law is waves that Queen was drinks, getting her gold storm force paid for the everyone you’re full those weeks, got cockroaches to start on the fridge’s stock or perhaps a regional disease and then ofnot going to make Spain took down the front walls topping. d your favourite bottles of fer them the services of the many reputamore that appealing toproperties tourbut the ble placerental has since At the up Hostal ou head to itself, bed, the knowing companies offer ot to get up in the morning. at that time of year. They could rent a car ists. Featureless concrete then been restored to its owner, Jose Antonio, who es for the next two weeks or too (saves you driving them around) and huts on would the seafront are from the classic local glory. supermarkets benefit former and has been coming here a friend has returned home their frequent trips to top up on water as not what visitors, nor resiAreas like this should be every year of his life (he’s owing a two week ‘visit’ and they’d ‘rather not’ drink from the tap. gerating when say that That should it and when they do want.

A walk around (as they are solvedents now fifty nine) Ishowed us a protected would have been more helpgo home after their trip you will not be the Hostal Maruja lookthe UK) because they around the place thatHe hasdid in e house than him. a knackered from having spent the last ng, been I must admit, when weeks picking towels, dirty ingup at wet the old black and fantastic picture of in his family for threewegive us two it he bought a melon…which ashtrays and anything else that happens white photosdoes of thethat placejust opast and thataround…Or generations and still has some white wine…which he to present. be left But lying s the question as to why happen to me…? are interesting…the Spanwon’t happen, that’d be three generations working nly think that your home is ish news blasting you in a it. The place has ou,in unfortunately , years are the common sense and we’re nd manager? I mean, can you plastic chair isn’t. talking about politicians of visitors seeping through g to stay at their house, here…but if any of the suits it when and it isthey easy have to imageek, work every day can rustle up a smidgen ine being here all those that they come

in

Visitors…

The wife vowed never to have the family to stay again.

nearly every

ou’ve been

g all

ave

wer

d

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37

Malvina Books & Cards La Romana 965 696 656 Open tues-sat 10.00-2.00 malvinabooks@yahoo.co.uk

Bestsellers & Top Titles in Stock Spanish dictionaries, text books & Study aids Cookery, Painting & Craft books

Over 1000 books in our pre read book exchange

Filofax gifts, Cross & Parker Pens & Refills Huge range of cards - for all occasions Gifts & Gift Vouchers SPECIAL OFFER

COOKERY BOOKS

This month only!

38

contact us on ask@thejungledrums.com

NOVEMBER 2010 Animals with long hair, especially dogs and ponies, and people if their hair is tied up into a pony tail/bunches and sing folk music, are to be avoided for a good proportion of this month especially in public showers or swimming pools or if they are naked.

Truffles, trifles but not Francois Truffaut directed movies are well starred until dusk on the 19th of the month.

Your buff Taurean physique you have successfully built up by avoiding eating pastries with cream in is about to be challenged this month with a pastry wielding Scorpio. Food fights are now inevitable between the two star signs and Scorpio will challenge Taurus from the 18th of the month onwards. Throw, but do not eat, to preserve your hard won abs.

Mid fives are your preferred greeting over high fives especially for short people, and those in wheel chairs.

Speeding, drunk driving and talking on your cell phone while driving like a possessed banshee, are all well starred this month on major and middle roads, but not the smaller country roads where farmers need you to stop and reverse in some game of Farmer Chicken the guy in the tractor has never lost.

You tried your best and

The lesson is ‘never

Those torch type thingies that they light in movies where you set light to the top of a sturdy looking stick and it keeps burning for hours afterwards allowing you to investigate dark caves etc are about to become very well LEAVING THE starred with only a 56% chance they either don’t light in the first place, Three girls worked in orthe singe your eyebrows when theyall light violently for the first time, go out same office w afterEach two minutes.day, they noticed the boss left work e One day the girls decided that when the bo ter all, she never called or came back to w Manicures, cuticles and nail varnish, are all naily type things better than early?? averagely starred this month, as, too, are activities which look set to The brunette was thrilled to bewood home damage nails such as cementing pavements, chopping and slicingearly. with her son, and went to bed early. onions.

The redhead was elated be able Yogi Bear is your lucky cartoon characterto from the Hanna Barbera to stableget in this date. month. a dinner Your chartswas indicate ahappy puff pastry related incident around the 17th of early the The blonde to get home an month which also involves a sausage. to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the d Anarchy chess - where you play with chess pieces but the pieces can move in any of the formations any way you want boss!! them to - is set to bed with her lady provide moments of humor this month.

You may think you have inventedand crept out o Gently, she closed the door this The style of play, hmmm, silly Virgo. next day, at their coffee break, the bru Halle Berry is your lucky movie star this month. again, and they asked the blonde if she wa Wikipedia has an answer waiting for you on the 14th that will shock and “No way”, the blonde exclaimed. “I almost surprise.

Semi automatic weapons continue to be fraught with dangers until well into the third week of the month.

Your brilliant idea for a seventh season of Lost will fall on deaf ears once again.

Mimicry in both the voice and actions of people or animals are well starred this month, particularly really oafish or awkward moving individuals or those with a lisp.

Asking for fast food whilst faking a stutter is your recreational activity of the month this September as your quest for a free meal continues. For best results use fast food chains with lots of Ms in their name and menu.

Food fights involving baked goods, cream pies, and anything with custard in them, are perfectly starred this month. Initially challenge fellow Scorpios, but from the 18th of the month the planets will widen their influence to include Taurus into your bakery battles.

“It’s not you its me”, “It’s not my kids its yours” and “My dad could beat your dad up” are your preferred school playground phrases this month as school returns after the summer break.

Drilling for oil continues to be problematic with the seismic charts offering a mixed message. Make sure your company is well funded and the major shareholders are on board before committing your company to any new multimillion dollar project.

JUST MARRIED

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The newlyweds are in their honeymoon r Catching wasps by putting outside an old still jammy jam jar half filled with waterand and a hole in the top of the lid big enough for the wasps to golet the bride kn the groom decides to through into the watery sugary solution below, is your Saturn approved where she stands right from the start of method of insect control this month.

In any hostage situation, ropes binding your hands and feet should be marriage. rubbed in the up and down motion on any jaggardy rock or brick until they break.

He proceeds to take off his trousers and

them at her. He says, “Put those on.”

Crab is your lucky crustacean, swear word and reformatted fish shape this month. replies, “I can’t wear your trou The bride Petting cats but not putting them in bins is well starred.

He replies, “And that!

Auditioning for any televisiondon’t reality show forget is well starred between the I will a hours of 9 and until the sun sets Wednesdays but only if you have a wear poignant the story pants in the family!” about you or a close member of your family, and your family are photogenic.

The bride takes off her knickers and thro

them at him with the same request, “Try

‘Honey I shrunk the kids’ is set to be one of many phrases from the movon!” ies you will use this month. As is ‘It’s a long shot but it might just work’, He replies, can’t get into your knickers!

‘Show me the money’ and ‘Vanessa,”I you’ve got a lovely pair of jubblies.’

“And youthisnever bloody will if you don’t ch Sand storms are badly starred month, as is driving over 100 mph in reverse whilst blindfolded. your attitude.”

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CARRY ON

!

G N I K O J A husband says to his wife, “what would you do if I won the lottery?”

She says, “I’d take half, then leave you.”

“Excellent,” he replies, “I won £10, here’s £5 now Bugger off!”

MEET THE FAMILY...

THE BUS AND THE FLY In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus..

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn‛t. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, ‘How dare you touch my body! I don‛t even know who you are!‛ The Texan smiled and drawled, ‘Well, ma‛am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped

Wrong number...

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents.

Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

The Italian ICA Officer stops the car and tells them: “It‛sa illegala to putta 5 pippel in a Quattro.”

“Vot do you min i‛s illegal?” asks the German driver.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.. He tells the pharmacist it‛s his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he‛d like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl‛s parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.

“Oh, I‛m so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!”

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl‛s parents are seated.

The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, ‘I had no idea you were this religious.‛ The boy turns, and whispers back, ‘I had no idea your father was a pharmacist..‛

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“Quattro meansa four” replies the Italian official.

Quattro eez just zee name of zee fokken otomobil” the Germans retort unbelievingly.

“Look at zee dam papers: zee car eez designed to karry 5 pippel.”

“You canta pulla dat one on me!” replies the Italian customs officer.

“Quattro meansa four.

You have fivea pippel ina your car and you are thereforea breakin da law.”

The German driver replies angrily: “You idiot!

Call your supervizor over.

I vant to spik to somevan viz moore intelligins!”

“Sorry” responds the Italian officer, “He can‛ta come right now.

He‛sa busy over dar with da 2 guys in a Fiat Uno

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JUST MARRIED

You tried your best and you The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room

Two weeks later the

woman comes back to the sister actmiserably. failed

The lesson is ‘never try’...Homer (

and the groom decides to let the brideThree knowNuns die in doctor looking a car crash andfresh go toand

see St Peter at the Pearly Gates. reborn. Simpson)

where she stands right from the start of the marriage.

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St Peter says, “Before you may enter

LEAVING THEheaven, OFFICE you EARLY mustWoman: confess any sins.”that “Doctor,

He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. was a brilliant idea. Every forward and says, them at her. He says, “Put those on.” Sister Mary steps Each day, they noticed the boss left work early.

“Forgive me, buttime I once saw a man’s my husband came replies, “I can’t wear your OneThe daybride the girls decided that when thetrousers.” boss left, they would leave right behind her. Af penis.” home I swished ter all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she drunk, know they went home He replies, “And don’t forget that! I will always “Very well. You must now wash your early?? with sweet tea. I swished the pants in the to family!” in this bowlgardening, of holy water, andplaytime Thewear brunette was thrilled be home early. eyes She did a little spent and swished, you can then enter,” explainedand St he didn’t withThe herbride son, takes and went to bed early. off her knickers and throws Peter. touch The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting them at him with the same request, “Try those a dinner date. me!”

All of a sudden Sister Ann pushes past Theon!” blonde was happy to get home earlyJane, and to surprise her front. husband, but when Sister get to the “What’s going she on got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. here?” bellows St Peter.

Heday, replies,”I into your knickers!”

One a man can’t cameget home Doctor: see husband how Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to“You see her in and was greeted by his wife “And you never bloody will if you don’t change bed with her lady boss!! to wash me gob out mouth keeping your dressed in a very Sexy nightie. Sister Ann replies, “I wantmuch before she her arse in it!”

Gently, she the door and crept out of sticks her house.

‘Tie me up,’closed she purred, ‘and your attitude.” shut helps?” younext can day, do anything want.’

The at theiryou coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early So he and tied they her up and went again, asked the blonde if she was going to go with them. golfing.

“No way”, the blonde exclaimed. “I almost got caught yesterday.”

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.

She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, ‘Honey, pack your bags.

I won the lottery!’

The husband said, ‘Oh my Goodness! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?’

‘Doesn’t matter,’ she said.

‘Just get out’.

Woman: “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp.”

Doctor: “I have a real good medicine for that. When

your husband comes home A wife was making a breakfast oftake frieda glass of drunk, just eggs for her husband. sweet Suddenly, her husband bursttea intoand thestart swishkitchen. ing it in your mouth ‘Careful,’ he said, ‘CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh!

You’reswallow. cookingJust but don’t too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!

‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’ and swishing TURN THEM NOW! Wekeep needswishing more butter.

‘Can you read this?’ the optiOh my gosh! WHERE are we going to until he passes get out.” cian asked.

MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! ‘Read it?’ the Polish guy reCareful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You plied, ‘I know the guy.’ you’re cookJUST MARRIED NEVER listen to me when weeks later the ing! Never! Turn them!Two Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?

Don’t The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room woman comes back to the Mother Superior called all forget to salt them. You know you always the nuns together and said and the groom decides to let the bride know doctor fresh and forget to salt them. Use the! looking salt. USE to them, ‘I must tell you all THE SALT! THE SALT!’ reborn. where she stands right from the start of the something. We have a case of The wife stared at him. gonorrhea in the convent.’

‘What in the world is wrong with you? You marriage.

‘Thank God,’ said an elderly think I don’t know how to fry a couple of Woman: “Doctor, that nun at the back.

‘I’m so eggs?’

He proceeds to take offtired his trousers and throw of chardonay.’

The husband calmly replied, ‘I just wanted was a brilliant idea. Every them at her. He says, “Put those on.” to show you what it feels like when I’m time my husband came driving.’

The bride replies, “I can’t wear your trousers.” home drunk, I swished Fifty-one years ago, Herman He replies, “And don’t forget that! I will always James, a North Carolina mounwith sweet tea. I swished tain man, drafted the wear the was pants in theby family!”

Army. and swished, and he didn’t The her trainknickers and throws On hisbride firsttakes day inoff basic touch ing, the Army issued him a them at him with the same request, “Try those comb. me!”

That on!” afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On second can’t day, the is- knickers!”

Hehis replies,”I getArmy into your Doctor: “You see how sued Herman a toothbrush.

“And you never bloody will if you don’t change That afternoon the Army denmuch keeping your mouth tist yanked seven of his teeth. your attitude.” shut helps?”

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.

The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years

A Polish immigrant went to the DVLA to apply for a driver’s licence.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters

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46

your local mag’ online and FREE!! - www.thejungledrums.com

PUZZLES Solitions

from page 23

Easy Soduku

This young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall in Pinoso, holding hands, gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently. Then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, “A penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

“Well, uh, I was thinkin’... perhaps it’s aboot time for a wee kiss.”

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

Hard Soduku

Then he blushed. The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. Minutes passed and the girl spoke again.

“Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

“Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s noo time aboot time for a wee cuddle.”

Wordoku

The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed.

Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

After a while, she again said, “Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

“Well, uh, I was thinkin’ perhaps it’s aboot time you let me put my hand on your leg.”

Crossword 1

The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee.

Then he blushed. The the two turned once again to gaze out over the lock before the girl spoke again.

“Another penny for your thoughts, Angus.”

The young man glanced down with a furled brow. “Well, noo,” he said, “my thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time.”

Crossword 2

The Potato Family

Young Love

“Really?” said the lass in a whisper, filled with anticipation.

“Aye,” said the lad, nodding.

The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.

Then he said, “Dae ye nae think it’s aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?”

One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner, Mother Potato and her three daughters.

Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up.

“Mother Potato?” she said. “I have an announcement to make.”

This guy who works at the Elche pickle factory comes home and hands his wife 50 euros.

She asked him what it was from and he told her that he won it in a bet -- the guys at the factory bet him 50 euros that he wouldn’t stick his willy in the pickle slicer.

The wife was surprised and said she wanted to make sure he was still intact.

“And what might that be?” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter’s eyes.

“Well,” replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, “I’m getting married!”

The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, “Married! That’s wonderful!

And who are you marrying, Eldest daughter?”

“I’m marrying a Russet!”

He pulled down his pants and, indeed, it was all there, unharmed.

“A Russet!” replied Mother Potato with pride. “Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!”

“But what about the pickle slicer,” asked the wife, perplexed. “Oh, she liked it too,” answered the husband.

As the family shared in the eldest daughter’s joy, the middle daughter spoke up. “Mother? I, too, have an announcement.”

The Perfect Woman and The Perfect Man Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met.

After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress.

Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys.

Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Who was the survivor?

Answer: The perfect woman survived. She’s the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

Women stop reading here. That is the end of the joke.

Men keep reading...

So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a car accident. By the way, if you’re a woman and you’re reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never listen, either.

“And what might that be?” encouraged Mother Potato.

Not knowing quite how to begin, the middle daughter paused, then said with conviction, “I, too, am getting married!”

“You, too!” Mother Potato said with joy. “That’s wonderful! Twice the good news in one evening! And who are you marrying, Middle Daughter?”

“I’m marrying an King Edward!” beamed the middle daughter.

“An Idaho!” said Mother Potato with joy. “Oh, an Idaho is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!”

Once again, the room came alive with laughter and excited plan for the future, when the youngest Potato daughter interrupted. “Mother?

Mother Potato? Um, I, too, have an announcement to make.”

“Yes?” said Mother Potato with great anticipation.

“Well,” began the youngest Potato daughter with the same sheepish grin as her eldest sister before her, “I hope this doesn’t come as a shock to you, but I am getting married, as well!”

“Really?” said Mother Potato with sincere excitement. “All of my lovely daughters married! What wonderful news! And who, pray tell, are you marrying, Youngest Daughter?”

“I’m marrying John Motson!”

“JOHN MOTSON?!”

Mother Potato scowled suddenly.

“But he’s just a com-

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What’s on?

Magical Morocco!!

Doc...

FIESTAS WHAT’S on What’s on WHAT’S ON

Fiestas de Benidorm 2010 from November 13 to 17, Festa dels Capitans / La Rendició, Petrer November 19, Santa Cecilia, Alfafara November 22, Fira de Santa Cecilia, Ibi November 22, Santa Cecilia, Jijona November 22, Santa Catalina, TeuladaMoraira November 25, Nostre Senyor Robat, Onil November 28, San Andrés, Almoradí November 30, San Andrés, Las Bayas, Elche November 30, Fira de Santa Caterina, Monóvar November 30,

Fiestas de la Purísima, Catral December 8, Inmaculada Concepción en Torrellano, Elche December 8, Inmaculada Concepción, Monforte del Cid December 8, d Fiestas de Invierno, Ibi from December 11 to 30, Santa Lucía, Banyeres de Mariola December 13, Festes del Folls, El Camp de Mirra from December 25 to 26, Danses del Rei Moro, Agost from December 26 to 31, Fiestas de la Venida de la Virgen, Elche from December 28 to 29, Els Enfarinats, Ibi December 28, Fiesta de la Aparición de la Virgen, Pilar de la Horadada January 2, Fiesta de Danzas de Reyes, Tibi January 5,

Santa Bárbara, Sella December 4, Santa Bárbara, Tárbena December 4, San Nicolás, Alicante December 6, Inmaculada Concepción, Torrevieja December 8,

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around the region

Santísimo Cristo del Buen Acierto, L’Alfàs del Pi from November 7 to 10,

WHAT’S on

Habeus Corpus

WHAT’S on

The new production, by the Gasp theatre company, of Alan Bennett’s play “Habeas Corpus” premiered recently at Santa Pola’s Casa de Cultura. The well attended performances were well received by the partisan audiences, most of whom turned out in their sartorial elegance, befitting of a First Night.

The curtains opened to display a minimal set consisting of two screens each adorned with a seaside cartoon type painting, three chairs, and a ceiling light. This was all that was needed to double as both a doctor’s surgery and the living room of Dr. Arthur Wicksteed and his family, consisting of a portly over amorous wife, a wet and unworldly son, Dennis, and the doctor’s sister Miss Constance Wicksteed. The play, a Bennett farce, revolves around Miss Wicksteed, a forty-something spinster who is somewhat lacking in the bosom department, deciding to buy a false rubber breast enhancer for 5 pounds (it was written some time ago).

As with all farce, a number of characters have to visit the Doctors surgery and get mistaken for other characters.

These include Lady Rumpers, recently returned from Africa, and her daughter Felicity; Sir Percy Shorter, another doctor who was once the sweetheart of Mrs Wicksteed; and Cannon Throbbing, who has a need to hear any salacious tales and a habit of looking up women’s skirts. The salesman of the breast enhancer arrives and gets mistaken for Sir Percy Shorter, who himself turns out to be the biological father of Felicity Rumpers. Felicity, herself pregnant by another unknown suitor, tries to entrap the soppy Dennis, who thinks he only has weeks to live. All the confusion leads to the usual taking off of trousers, dresses and tops, which is expected in farce.

The Bennett script raced on and keeps the audience amused and everyone seemed to enjoy the night.

Although this was GASP’s first real show and sometimes both their lack of experience and their nervousness showed through, two characters shone through. Mr Purdue, a depressed man who seeks solace in suicide because he can never get to see the Doctor, is extremely well portrayed

by Terry Lacey. The star of the show, however, is Christine Lombardy who, as the nosey housekeeper, links all the somewhat tabloid scenes together and keeps the play moving along at the pace at which farce should be played.

All in all, a commendable first attempt by this new theatre group who, with improved stagecraft and ability to remember their lines, should produce watchable theatre in the future.

Wh

This country has always fascinated me and just recently I have had opportunity to visit this wonderfully interesting place. Fez was the destination which is the Spiritual and Cultural Centre of this amazing country. Fez is northern Morocco, the most ancient of imperial cities of enormous variety and contrast.

We visited the most beautiful Mosques and Synagogues right in the centre of Fez where the Medina (marketplace) is in full action. And I mean full action, everyone having to step to the sides of the narrow lanes while the donkeys laden with anything from firewood to pots and pans pass through.

Everything imaginable is for sale in the market, its like an Aladdin’s Cave, with plenty of bargins including bronze, pottery, gold jewellery, beautiful materials, carpets, not to mention all the fruit, veg, meat and fish. Over 80,000 people pass through this market everyday - so you can just imagine how busy it is. A visit to the Spice Market was also on the Agenda.

We also took a trip out of the main area of Fez to the Atalas Mountains, where there is a huge beautiful lake where treasured cattle bathed in the cool waters and the views were spectacular. On the main road through the woodlands there were tame monkeys which was a huge surprise!

Morocco is not for the faint hearted, but a place you will always remember with amazement. We are already planning our next trip to this remarkable and magical place!

Written by Anita of Shiny Lamps

Shakespeare’s Grandson.

NATIONAL HOLIDAYS November 1st All Saints Day - relatives lay flowers on graves of the dead December 6th Constitution Day 8th Immaculate Conception 25th Christmas Day 26th Saint Stephen 28th Dia de los Santos Inocentes - similar to Fools Day which is just an excuse to do silly things

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52

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BUSINESS DIRECTORY COMPUTERS

AIR CONDITIONING DIGINOVA Santa Pola Tel 660 631 380 MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

BLUE MOON SOLUTIONS All Areas Tel. 655 044 970 SPANISH INKS All Areas www.spanishink.com COMENERSOL Novelda Tel. 96 560 5437

ANIMAL RESCUE

CONVEYANCING

LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 96 112 0244 ALBERGUE Bacarot Tel 96 596 0224

BABY ITEMS

DENTAL

LA CANASTILLA BLANCA El Altet Tel. 96 568 7710

BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603 DENTURES DIRECT Gran alacant Tel. 619 185 122

BARS ORO Y SAL Gran Alacant Tel. 627 424 597 SHEILA’S Gran Alacant Tel. 634 098 148

DIVING SANTA POLA DIVE ACADEMY Santa Pola Tel. 96 541 4510

BOOKS

DOCTORS

CARDS & MORE

La Marina Tel. 96 679 0954 LA MARINA ANIMAL WELFARE La Marina Tel 96 679 5593 MALVINA BOOKS La Romana Tel. 96 569 6656 CORNER BOOKS Hondon Nieves Tel. 628 264 109

BUILDING / MAINTENANCE ALTOMAR Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 9353 CANDELA CHIMNEYS Elche Tel. 649 039 351 CLIVE COOMBER Gran Alacant Tel 669 593 212 MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel: 96 541 4040 CHRIS SLADDEN All Areas Tel. 686 635 860

CLINICA GRAN ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel: 96 669 7411 EMERGENCY Tel 608 666 455

DOMESTIC APPLIANCES APPLIANCE FIX Gran Alacant Tel. 96 618 3024 EURONICS Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5365 ELECTRICIANS/ELECTRONIC

CCW ELECTRICAL Gran Alacant Tel 617 872 405 DIGINOVA Santa Pola Tel 660 631 380 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel: 96 541 4040 ENTERTAINMENT

FLAMENCO - LOS LUNARES Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399 LINE DANCE La Marina Tel. 96 679 0662

BUSINESS ASSOCIATIONS

ESTATE AGENTS

TIBA All Areas Tel. 902 906 015

IPG La Marina Tel. 96 679 5233 LOMOND SECOND HOME Gran Alacant Tel. 620 896 248 MASA INTERNATIONAL Gran Alacant Tel. 629 251 747 TOP ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7357 VICTORIA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7779

CAR HIRE XTRA RENT A CAR Santa Pola Tel 607 850 664 CARWISER All Areas Tel. 96 597 1866 HONDON RENT A CAR Hondon Tel 96 610 5205

CARPENTRY

FARMACIAS

MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 670 260 684

FARMACIA GRAN ALACANT Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 7471

FISCAL

CAR REPAIRS

ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781 WWB All Areas Tel. 96 619 6563

FAST FIT MOBILE TYRES All Areas Tel. 663 996 393 RENAULT Santa Pola Tel 96 541 3746 PERFORMANCE & DIESEL Guardamar Tel. 96 610 7606 FWR CARS El Altet Tel. 96 568 7976

FLORISTS LA FLORISTA Hondon Nieves Tel. 677 389 743

CAR SALES

FURNITURE

RENAULT Santa Pola Tel 96 541 3746 CLUB CARS La Marina TEL. 96 618 0006 COCHES GUARDAMAR La Marina Tel. 646 763 645 CAR SERVICE CENTRE La Marina Tel. 650 821 082

COMPLETE UPHOLSTERY All Areas Tel. 96 569 9305 NEW 2 YOU Dolores Tel. 96 571 5608 SECOND HAND FURNITURE La Marina Tel. 96 644 3370

HAIRDRESSING

CAR TRANSFERS

HEADLAMP EXCHANGE La Marina Tel. 96 610 8938 LEGAL SOLUTIONS La Marina Tel. 96 679 6060 RE-REGISTRATION SPECIALISTS La Marina Tel. 96 610 8938 MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781 La Marina Tel. 650 821 082

54

ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781

FRANCESC AGULLO Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031

HEALTH & BEAUTY BRITISH DENTAL PRACTICE La Marina Tel 96 679 6603 FRANCESC AGULLO Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 5031

HEARING

PROPERTY RENTALS

CENTRAL OPTICA Gran Alacant Tel: 966 698 802

INVEST SPAIN Elche Tel. 96 542 9396

DIGINOVA Santa Pola Tel: 660 631 380 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

BUMBLE BEE T-SHIRTS La Marina Tel. 659 788 394 TV CHOICE All Areas Tel. 625 408 321 THE JUNGLE DRUMS All Areas Tel. 96 669 5141

HEATING

HOUSEHOLD SERVICES DRAINBUSTERS All Areas Tel. 96 611 5903 MOZISTOP All Areas Tel. 659 259 319

INSURANCE ALMARCHA INSURANCE La Marina Tel. 96 572 9747 PERPETUO SOCORRO La Zenia Tel. 678 570 632 ROWLAND INSURANCE Santa Pola Tel 96 541 3076 MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781 LINEA DIRECT All Areas TEL. 902 123 975

KENNELS

LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax, Tel 96 618 283

LANGUAGES MARTIN COCIMANO Santa Pola Tel. 600 400 668

MORTGAGES

MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781

MOSQUITO NETS

PUBLICITY

REMOVALS MISTER VAN All Areas Tel. 697 775 588 TRUCK IT All Areas Tel. 96 644 1779

RESTAURANTS

COCOA’S Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8509 LOS LUNARES Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 5399 SAFFRON Gran Alcant Tel. 96 669 8098 WISHING WELL Dolores Tel. 96 671 1653

SIGNS / SIGN WRITING

CORTES SIGNS Santa Pola Tel. 686 464 076

SOLICITORS

LOMOND SECOND HOME Gran Alacant Tel. 620 896 248 PELLICER HEREDIA Alicante/Hondon + Tel. 96548 0737 SANCHEZ-ROS Elche Tel. 96 543 2050

SUNBLINDS

MOZISTOP All Areas Tel. 659 259 319

TOLDOS PENALVER Santa Pola Tel. 96 543 2350

MALCOLM PALMER Santa Pola Tel 96 608 2454

AJ’s Hondon Nieves Tel. 96 548 0718

CARE IN THE COMMUNITY All areas Te. 96 597 5459

GA POOLS Gran Alacant Tel 628 030 184 PJ’s All Areas Tel 619 501 657

NATURE

SUPERMARKETS

NURSING

SWIMMING POOL (MAINTAINANCE)

OPTICIANS

CENTRAL OPTICA Gran Alacant Tel 966 698 802 GRAN PLAYA OPTICA Santa Pola Tel. 96 669 1208 SPECSAVERS Torrevieja Tel. 96 692 7249

OSTEOPATH

ROSA MARTINEZ Gran Alacant Tel 616 779 034

PAINTERS / DECORATORS

MAYO Gran Alacant Tel 665 063 228 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

PETS

CLINICA VETERINARIA Santa Pola Tel 96 669 2328 LEZSONJA’S BOARDING KENNELS Sax Tel 96 618 2838 MOUNTAIN VIEW CAT HOTEL Hondon Tel. 96 667 7273

PHOTOGRAPHY

SKY-HI All Areas

Tel. 96 556 0150

PHYSIOTHERAPY ROSA MARTINEZ Gran Alacant Tel 616 779 034

PLUMBERS DMF PLUMBING All Areas Tel. 96 679 9740 REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

POSTAL EASYPOST All Areas Tel. 96 672 0959

SWIMMING POOL (CONSTRUCTION)

REFORMNOVA Gran Alacant Tel 96 541 4040

TAX ADVICE ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781

TOBACCO ESTANCO 7 Santa Pola Tel. 96 669 4716

TRANSLATORS ANDREA BURNS Gran Alacant Tel 96 669 7824 MITCH BULL Gran Alacant Tel. 638 608 422 MARTÍNEZ Y BALLESTER RABESMA Gran Alacant Tel. 96 669 8781

TRANSPORT AIRPORT FLYER All Areas Tel. 618 834 774 TAXI Santa Pola Tel 609 959 408

TV DIGINOVA Santa Pola Tel 660 631 380

VETS GRAN ALACANT TV Santa Pola Tel. 677 878 210 CLINICA VETERINARIA Santa Pola Tel 96 669 8463

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Opening Times

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LA

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IN

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