JUST DREAM A Literary Magazine February 2021 Volume 4
For the LOVE of
Dear America | Pg. 7 Black Love is Black History | Pg. 8 Like a Phoenix | Pg. 18 Talk to Kita: Black Love Interview | Pg. 43
JUST DREAM Copyright Š 2021 by Marquita Antoineå All rights reserved. This magazine or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a review.
JUST DREAM Special Thanks On behalf of the Just Dream Foundation, I extend my deepest gratitude to each and every one of the contributors to this magazine. This publication would not be nearly as special without your contribution! R. M. Smith Nikita B Paris Somerville Kamya Hazer Joy D. Bell Tiffany Moore
Talecia Frazier Benita Henderson Tony Henderson Madisyn Clark Thomasina McPhail Derek McPhail
Kristie Clark Jovon Drone Lakia Hastye Jessica Hill
Brigetta Weatherington Jacqueline Jovell Jones Michael Henderson Genia Robinson
In This Issue... Permanent Fixtures A Letter From the Editor - Marquita Antoineá 3 A Little Extra Motivation - Marquita Antoineá 4 Dream Light - Danielle Simpson 5 Talk to Kita Interview Series - Marquita Antoineá 43 Meet the Authors - Author Biographies 60 Support Black Business - Black-Owned Business Ads 67
BLACK History Feature Articles Dear America - Marquita Antoineá 7 Black Love is Black History - Benita Henderson 8 Like a Phoenix - Joy Bell 18 What Does Black History Mean to You? - Various Authors 19 Black Royalty - Brigetta Weatherington 27
BLACK Love Feature Articles Dating with PTSD - Talecia Izlar 14 The Love of a Black Woman - Madisyn Clark 38 When the Heart Grows Cold - Marquita Antoineá 56
Extras Black Firsts - Marquita Antoineá 28 Falling in Love - Marquita Antoineá 42 Ask the Editor - Marquita Antoineá 59
A Letter from the Editor
If history dictated destiny, I would still be a slave. Hello fellow dreamers. This particular issue is very near and dear to my heart. Because of a conversation I recently had about the divisiveness of using the terms BLACK history and BLACK love, I felt it necessary to address the issue. First and foremost, let me start by saying that I do believe all people were created to be equal by God. However, society has made it so that people of color are considered less than human 3/5 of a person to be exact. So, how can I NOT separate myself from the crowd? I am not 3/5 of a human; however, if that’s how they choose to see me, I will allow this 3/5 of a human to be better than their “whole” person. I will allow myself to be more than. I will require my children be more than what they think they see. I will require my friends and family to be more than what they see them as. When I think about BLACK love, I think about the importance of our history. When I think about BLACK history, I think about the importance of our love. The love that we once had for each other as a people is what set us apart from the crowd. The pride we feel in our cultural progress is what makes us great. But in order for that love to continue to set us apart, BLACK love must directly correlate to BLACK history. . What do I mean? I’m glad you asked. No one loves the way the BLACK people love because at one point all we had was love. Now that we have other things (i.e. money, fame, etc.), let’s not forget about the BLACK love our BLACK history is centered around. The love we have for each other and the love we have for life (regardless of the crap we go through simply because of the color of our skin on a daily basis) is what got us through in the past and it will undoubtedly get us through until the end of time. BLACK LOVE MATTERS! But even with all that said, we must remember that together is the best way for the future to be brighter than the past. Again, while it’s important to remember our roots and our love, inclusivity is the best way to move forward. There should be no black, white, purple, green. There should be no color lines whatsoever. However, until we can get everyone on board with our innate greatness, we must do what we can do to blur the color lines until they eventually disappear. I implore you to join me in believing that the time for change is now!
Marquita Antoineá
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Just because everybody needs
A Little Extra MOTIVATION In order to completely understand people, we must first understand their history and culture. History and culture can sometimes dictate behaviors and reactions to other people’s behaviors. Even with this in mind, however, we must not let history dictate the future. Think about it, if history dictated the future, I would still be a slave. I cannot begin to express the eye opener that this statement has become. If we continually cling to the negativity of the past (segregation and separation), we will not be able to embrace the positivity and possibility of the future (inclusivity). To take it one step further, let’s talk about the importance of acknowledging differences on the way to inclusivity. If we fail to understand the innate differences in people, we cannot be completely inclusive. Understanding cultural or generational differences can provide insight into choices of speech or actions. For example, knowing that millennials prefer technology over faceto-face interaction will help you to better communicate with them. In other words, ignorance is not bliss! 4
The
Dream Light shines on
Danielle Simpson Senior at Bowie High School
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As the FIRST ever recipient of the Just Dream College Application Grant, Danielle was able to apply to five different colleges. We are pleased to announce that she has already been accepted to THREE of those schools!
Congrats, Danielle! May all your dreams come true!
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Dear America, I love the skin I’m in. Your hatred will never deter me from making it to my destination. In fact, your hatred will propel me further and faster along my path to greatness. Your hatred will serve as pure motivation. You may think that the fact that I was born with melanin AND two X-chromosomes, that I already have “two strikes” against me. But those “two strikes” are nothing but ammunition for my journey. It may take me twice as long to get half as far as my white counterparts, but trust and believe when I get to where I’m going, America better watch out. You may see my skin color as a weakness, when in reality my skin color represents strength. You may see my skin color as a threat, but that sounds like a personal problem to me. My skin represents my ability to overcome, my ability to persevere, my ability to succeed in spite of it all. My skin color represents beauty and power. My skin color represents everything you aspire to be, America. Stop being jealous and fearful of my skin color. You may as well embrace all that comes with this skin color because my silence is over. OUR SILENCE IS OVER! America, you have officially screwed yourselves this time. Just look at the unity during the protests in all 50 states. Look at the people in power of all different races who are screaming BLACK LIVES MATTER. Look at the children speaking up to their parents about how wrong it is to hate. Listen to the power of the voices joined in unity. It’s one enormous choir all singing the same song - BLACK LIVES MATTER!!! America, get out of your own way. We want peace, unity, and EQUALITY, and the only thing standing between US and the U.S. is you, America. MOVE! CHANGE! GET YOUR CRAP TOGETHER! Let me raise my children in peace, love, and unity instead of chaos, hatred, and separation. Let my children have a chance to succeed at the same rate as their white counterparts. Let my family and friends be proud to be BLACK, instead of being afraid of their BLACKNESS. Our blackness is what makes us amazing. America, you should know this by now! We are literally the backbone of this country. So, again I say, GET YOUR CRAP TOGETHER, AMERICA! I love the skin I’m in, and it’s time you do too! Signed, Marquita Antoineá A tired, angry, black mother.
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BLACK Love IS
BLACK History Written By: Benita Henderson JUST DREAM Resident Writer 8
According to the Urban Dictionary, Black Love is “a spiritual journey that only people who are rich in melanin can experience. A love that is unconditional. A love that can build an empire. Monogamous and genuine in intent, this love cannot be stopped.” My first thought when I was asked for my definition of “Black Love” was love is love. But after some thought, I decided that that “Black Love” does have a much deeper definition. Black love is very much connected to black culture. Black love is empowering! Our ancestors had restraints and restrictions put on how and who they could love. So, today we are able to fully embrace and explore the depths of loving someone from our soul while being able to outwardly show the world the richness, pureness and depth that is black love. Love is a universal language that each of us define in our own terms. When we add the extra ingredient of our blackness, love can take on a unique power that is shared through an ancestral lineage rich with traditions and customs that have been passed on through each generation, and shaped by our own views on life. We have an affinity for the uniqueness of the Black experience. What we hope is that our love only adds more beautiful, truthful chapters to the story that started being written many years ago. Black love is lineage. It’s an infinite display of admiration for the black woman and her love for the black man. It is rooted in trust and communication. It strongly represents courage, both individually and collectively. Navigating this life as an African American person is beautiful, and with it, comes its own set of unique experiences. It embodies being resilient in the world that is not always kind to black and brown people. Black Love is courageous, resilient and inspiring. Black Love is continuing the legacy of our culture while committing to the evolution of ourselves, as a partnership and for our community; a healthy depiction of relationships within our culture and in the spaces where our ancestors may have not had the opportunity to express that love or to even stand firm around beliefs and cultural values. 9
The bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 that “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.� Black Love forgives continually and comprehensively. Forgiveness wipes clean the slate of offense, hence it is freeing for everyone. However, this is not always an easy thing to do but if you are going to have a truly healthy relationship forgiveness must be present. Forgiveness is letting go of all the negative emotions toward the offender for what they’ve done, and will not work unless you genuinely work for it. We learn to give one another the benefit of the doubt and accept that we are all human; holding ourselves accountable for our mistakes but allowing each other to make them. Covering each other spiritually every day, allows us to embrace this deep unity, maintain the will and strength to keep going; reinforcing the grace which both individuals receive from God. Black love is sacrifice. Black love is the strength passed down from several generations. It is the sacrifices our ancestors endured for us to survive in this present day. To sacrifice in love does not mean lose yourself for the other person, but instead allows each of you to grow and evolve into the person you are supposed to be. Black love is unlimited. It does not tire. It knows brutality and hardship and heartache but never falters. It knows betrayal but never betrays. It knows hurt but only heals. It cannot be threatened or diminished. It survives a half a century of brutal oppression and thrives. It never dies. It is capable of unimaginable creation and innovation.
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Black love is not only important, it is the answer. Love is not just a feeling, it is an action. It takes work and energy. Choosing black love is a commitment to the acting out of a limitless, uncompromising – uncompromised — forgiving place and making sacrifices for the sake of our future and our children. The bond between two African Americans who share a culture and history makes us stronger together than we were separately. We understand the emotional load of being Black in America, as well as how to encourage each other through trying times while appreciating and celebrating the beauty in our existence. The value of our Black lives should be apparent to all, but we are most securely confirmed in the appreciative embrace of the other. Without having to censor each other or misunderstand language, we are free in our own home because of the affection and history we share and understand. Black love is the ideal of unity and togetherness. It's this ideal of strength shared between two people attempting to reach a common goal. It is the substance that keeps us going, the sacrifices your parents made for you, to see you flourish, and the miles many people walked to see change in equality. It is that love guarded by grandma’s prayers and our ancestor’s spirituals. Nothing is more righteous than our kind of love, it cannot compare. Black love is higher than any other, we are stronger together than we are apart. Black love is coexisting in each other’s space and always feeling safe and protected. The power that unites us together is a force to be reckoned with; the power that combines two halves into a whole. There will always be disagreements, arguments and quarrels but strength and patience will always balance things out. 11
None of us totally agree on one definition of love-black love, but we all understand that love is necessary, powerful and an extension of all who came before us. So I leave you with this: Black love spoils us with honesty, commitment, respect, honor, appreciation, engaging conversations, attentiveness, kindness, understanding, genuineness, laughter and memories. Giving your heart knowing and feeling that you are genuinely loved and God will sustain this relationship no matter what circumstances we face.
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t
"I really want to go outside, but my anxiety won't let me." According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, anxiety is "an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physical signs (such as tension, sweating, and increased pulse rate) by doubt concerning the reality and nature if the treat, and by self-doubt about one's capacity to cope with it."
If you can relate to this statement, it may be a good idea to find someone to talk to. Perhaps you can talk to a therapist, a close friend or family member, or even me! Don't be afraid to reach out. Email marquitaantoinea@gmail.com to be connected to someone.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! 7
Dating with PTSD A Therapist’s Guide to Overcoming Tauma from Toxic Relationships
Written by Talecia Izlar, LCPC Owner of Guided Journeys, LLC Lanham, MD JUST DREAM Resident Writer
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In providing therapy services, I try to pay attention to common themes of issues presented by my clients. I have noticed among my clients that oftentimes, they report a history of a recent or past toxic or unhealthy intimate relationship that has contributed to them having anxiety about meeting a new person, dating or trusting a significant other. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM–5), Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is related to exposure to actual or threats of death, injury, or sexual violence. Trauma responses, of a more severe nature, could include distressing memories or dreams, or flashbacks. However, it can also include avoidance of reminders or thoughts of the event, negative beliefs or expectations about oneself, others, or the world, distorted thoughts, and persistent negative emotions. Additionally, an individual may lose interest in activities and find themselves being detached, irritable, hypervigilant, or self-destructive. These symptoms present in counseling very often! As stated, PTSD can present similar qualities among people who have been in tumultuous relationships. Individuals may share an intense fear in the dating process and tend to have their “defenses up”. Some individuals state “I am never dating again” and can be avoidant while others may date but doubt the person’s authenticity. Due to fears of trusting, a person may date but disconnect, as to avoid the possibility of being hurt. As a result, it can be counterproductive because as my clients are distant and disconnect due to fear of being rejected or hurt, they present as detached and uninterested, which can lead to the individual they are dating discontinuing the dating process. While my clients at times report the individual losing interest, with deeper discussion, we sometimes find that their responses to the individual would perpetuate not actually being interested themselves!
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The following tips can be useful in managing “PTSD symptoms” related to dating. 1) Try to maintain a healthy balance related to trust. Be open and more of a learner and observer during the dating process. Rather than solidifying the future outcomes or trying to “guess” what is happening behind the scenes, allow it to play out while you watch. 2) Ask open ended questions so you can learn about the individual you are dating. It may be advantageous to ask questions before sharing your strong views on relationships. An individual who is “applying for a job as your partner” may know how to present as the individual you share that you want. Ask questions so you can get a better idea of their views so you can better determine whether they align. 3) Focus on the “here and now”. ENJOY dating! Focus on how that person is making you feel in that moment. If you spend too much time thinking of negative things that can happen, you won’t enjoy the process and may actually hinder or block the potential positive outcome. View it as fun and PRACTICE even if it doesn’t work out for the long haul. 4) Be open and honest about boundaries, limits, and deal breakers. Do not be afraid to discuss your deal breakers. The worst thing that can happen is that the individual disagrees or cannot commit to your set of boundaries. It is better to find that out during the dating process then during a divorce. 5) Engage in self-care and activities that shift your focus. The more idle time you have, it can lead to racing negative thoughts. Keeping yourself occupied with productive activities is great for you as an individual. This can also help to create a good balance where you are not overanalyzing or projecting insecurities and anxiety onto the person you are dating. Therapy is a very useful and effective way to check in and work through anxious symptoms. By reality testing and restructuring negative thought patterns, you can obtain a healthier view of dating and can achieve more positive outcomes! If you have questions about this article or want to reach the author, please contact guidedjourneysllc@gmail.com. 16
BEING UNAPOLOGETICALLY
BLACK BEING STRONG
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Like a Phoenix... Written by Joy D. Bell History is written and told by the victors, right? Subjecting subsequent generations of the survivors to decipher their plight Progress stifled by white-washed rhetoric Strategically institutionalized to perpetuate indoctrinated minds Omitting their dependence on every black civilization, Heroizing their barbaric legacy in this blood-stained nation Lest we forget, ‘black’ people in AmeriKKKa laid this very foundation, fortified by coerced participation Sold us on the proclamation only to realize loopholes in vague legislation Promises of civility threatened by White fragility Then false hope spread, again, black ppl in AmeriKKKKa, we were mislead Surface likeness the utility to assert our upward mobility Given a shiny token to suppress declarations that must be spoken Ignorance glamorized Societal ills now normalized Politicians’ intentions disguised All as a means to paralyze our inevitable rise Black male masculinity, still secretly admired but publicly feared A testament that his prowess is truly revered Black female femininity, objectified, trivialized then commodified but her essence is bestowed by The Most High; never to subside Together, their potential is unmatched This is why the ‘black’ family in AmeriKKKKa is constantly under attack. In this year, the 100th anniversary of the Tulsa Massacre, Be inspired by what our ancestors have done Be not complacent, the best is yet to come… 18
What Does
Mean to YOU? 19
The concept of Black History for me, means BLACK-HIS-STORY. That is, the story and timeline of my people’s past as interpreted and chronicled by people who do not look like me. That being fact, I believe it is imperative for all people of African descent to research and read and learn and study and most importantly, internalize our true and complete story.
R. M. Smith
PG County, MD
“What they hate in you... is missing in them.”
Knowledge is both powerful and empowering. Power to our people!!!
Nikita B
I@iamnikitab 20
Paris Somerville Richmond, VA
Our people came here in shackles and literally had to make the best out of nothing. From slavery to the civil rights movement to where we are today is a full display of how strong our people are. We stand on the shoulders of giants and risk takers who paved the way for where we are now. We may still have a ways to go, but we are no longer on our knees because our history tells us that we are worth more, and that we deserve more as well. Because of the overwhelmingly white history that is taught to us, black history could easily take a back seat if we allowed it to. That’s the power of the people not allowing it to die. Our history is why I’m standing, and I’ll continue to do my part to make sure it’s never forgotten or watered down!
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Kamya Hazer Glenarden, MD
To me, black history is a look down the timeline of African Americans/ Black Americans accomplishments, trials & tribulations, and progression. Black history starts from slavery from when Our people were taken from their homelands. However, Black History isn’t just accomplishments from the past because black history is made everyday. A lot of black people have become the “first” in different eras of history from Bessie Coleman to Kamala Harris. Therefore, Black history highlights those achievements and expounds on the hardships it took for us to get there.
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What Does BLACK HISTORY Mean to Me? Written By: Jacqueline Jovell Jones First, I would like to start off by saying that when I think about Black History, I must state the fact that just being Black….and being a Black Woman are journeys all by themselves and come with their own black historic condemnations which come not from Our Lord God, but from society! Second, reflecting on all the infinite contributions we as Black people have made to American society, I know it was Our Lord God who was with us and not society! Below is my reflection of what Black History means to me. I grew up in a black environment, lived in a black neighborhood, attended black schools, belong to my grandmother’s AME church and attended an HBCU. My parents and grandparents believed in and raised me to be a proud black person. I always tell the story of how I was called “blackie Jackie” growing up because of my hue. One day, I went home crying to my daddy about being called “blackie Jackie” and he said to me “aren’t you black?” I was crushed…I was expecting a hug, a pat on the back, sympathy, something! I was looking for a ‘Father Knows Best’ moment…and instead I received the real life version…my daddy looked me in my eye and said “You are Black, be proud of your blackness and not let other people’s ignorance make you feel ashamed of your skin color. Ignorant people don’t understand their own ignorance.”
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Black History! Blackness was always instilled in me. It was not so much that it was talked about as it was a quiet and understood proudness. Seeing us on T.V., in the movies, in all kind of roles, the music, the singing, telling our stories, singing our history, glorifying Our Lord God, Hallelujah! We knew based on where we had been…what we had to do to get to where we were…. that we were making progress! Black History! When I think about Black History, it is not so much about all our historical accomplishments as Black people because it is infinite and I’m sure I don’t know an nth of it. For me, it is more about who we are as individual people who are Black. It is about our abilities as Black folks to get through. It is about our survival. It is about being survivors, like those before me. It is about making mistakes and bouncing back from the mistakes. It is about succeeding, when mentally, succeeding is the last thing on the mind. It is about crying, losing, grieving, being lost. When it is all said and done, It is about OVERCOMING…. And SHOUTING…. Still…Still We Rise! Black History! As I look at the Young, Gifted and Black generations that are behind me, knowing society wants to suffocate us, destroy us, kill us, eliminate us out of the history books, I am reminded that we must Keep the Faith! We must Hold on! We must continue to encourage the next generation as well as ourselves that We can Never Ever let Our collective and individual Black Histories die! We must Pass it On Always! With Our Lord God on our side, nothing or o one can ever defeat or eliminate us! "For our heart shall rejoice in him, because we have trusted in his holy name." Psalm 33:21 Black History! I’m Black and I’m Proud!
Jovell 24
"They didn't do what they did for US to act the way we are acting. Let's make a change and make them proud. " -Marquita Antoinea
Black Royalty
Written By: Brigetta Weatherington
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BLACK FIRSTS Some you know...
Barack Obama The first Black President (2008 - 2016)
Kamala Harris The first Black AND first Female Vice President (2021 - Present) 28
Martin Luther King, Jr. Civil Rights Movement Leader (1950s-1960s)
Rosa Parks Bus Boycott Alabama (1955)
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Madam CJ Walker First Black Self-Made Millionaire (1911)
Jackie Robinson First Black Professional Baseball Player (1942)
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Some you may not know... Maurice Ashley First Black Chess Grandmaster (1999)
Charlotte Nebres First Black Lead in New York City’s Ballet “The Nutcracker” (2019) 31
Richard Theodore Greene First Black Harvard Graduate (1870) First Black Dean of Howard Law School (1878-1880)
Phyllis Wheatley First Black Published Author (1773)
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George W. Johnson First Black Songwriter (1890)
Francis Cecil Sumner First Black Ph.D. Recipient in Psychology (1920) 33
NBA - 3 Firsts in 1 Week! Earl Lloyd Washington Capitols October 31, 1950
Chuck Cooper Boston Celtics November 1, 1950
Nat “Sweetwater” Clifton New York Knicks November 4, 1950 34
Kenneth S. Washington First Black Professional Football Player (1940)
John Baxter Taylor, Jr First Black Olympic Gold Medalist in Track and Field (1908) 35
Cicely Tyson (1924-2021)
She shattered stereotypes left and right for decades shining nothing other than a positive light on Black Females until the day she died.
Rest in Heaven Queen! 36
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The Love of a Black Woman Written By: Madisyn Clark
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Being a black woman is honestly one of my favorite identities. As a black woman, I know that I come from an ancestry of strong women who were trailblazers and fought three times harder than everyone else for anything they achieved. Black women are discriminated against not only because of our race but also because of our gender. Regardless, I am HONORED to be a black woman because I know how hard the women who came before me fought to put me in the position that I am in today. I LOVE BEING BLACK! To me being a black woman means being unstoppable, a trailblazer, an innovator, an icon, a trendsetter, and just an allaround BOSS. Black girl magic is not just a saying, have you noticed how the energy changes when you place a group of black women in a room? That is the magic. Being aware of the battles of the women who came before me gives me a certain motivation. I view their struggles as calls to action; each calling me to use my position to honor their legacy and be the best woman I can possibly be. I refuse to be mediocre, I refuse to be a follower, and I refuse to let somebody tell me who I cannot be. My ancestors did not endure slavery for me to let anybody tell me what to be.
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Oftentimes as black women, we face a lot of animosity which can cause us to begin doubting our greatness. We sometimes find ourselves trying so hard not to fit the stereotypes placed upon us that we begin to neglect the aspects that make us unique. So, we need to recognize our power by never dimming ourselves down to fit anyone’s definitions. We were made to stand out, we were made to use our voices, and we were made to initiate change! So, forget their standards and be who you were born to be - a queen. Ways to embrace your blackness: 1. Rock your hair because a black woman can literally get away with ANYTHING! 2. Never "tone down" because we have a lot to say! 3. Recognize your royalty because you are a queen! 4. Play smart because the system is out to get us. Recognize the odds that are stacked against you and own them so that you are in control of them rather than them controlling you. 5. Lift your sisters up because there is nothing more powerful than a group of black women who are all fighting for the same cause! 40
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
n i g n i l l a F
By: Marquita Antoinea 42
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BLACK
Mz. G
Love
Tiara J
Special thanks to the cohosts of this discussion! Mz. G and Tiara J, may all your DREAMS come true! 44
What is
BLACK
Love
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What is
BLACK
Love Black Love is undefined. Black Love is just unmatched. You just can’t shake it. It’s when two individuals come together to focus on them and their love. -Tiara J Black Love is the reunification of the black family. -Mz. G
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Meet the Hendersons Tony and Benita
Married 38 years Met at PG Community College
What is
BLACK
Love
To me, black love means strength, resilience and covering each other – in prayer and in principle – having each other’s backs through it all. It includes adapting, to one another and to the spaces you move through together. It is a balance of being there and giving space. -Benita
To me, black love is waking up and seeing my beautiful BLACK wife every morning!! And falling in love all over again every morning !! -Tony
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Meet theMcPhails
Thomasina and Derek
Married 25 years Met at a work softball event
What is
BLACK
Love
Black Love is found in the little things such as buying me flowers and cards, but more importantly just listening to me, no matter how it sounds. Black Love is when my husband is always there to support me regardless of what’s going on. It makes my day. Most of all, black love is when he says out of the blue “I LOVE YOU Thomasina. You are my Life!” -Thomasina
Black Love is when we share each other’s dreams and help each other grow. We’ve discovered brand new moments and watched miracles unfold together. We’ve embraced each other’s differences and found each other’s strengths. We’ve lifted each other’s light in times of sadness. We’ve lifted each other up in times of joy. Black Love means she is my life, my wife. -Derek
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Meet the Clarks Greg and Kristie
Married 25 years Met at Virginia State
What is
BLACK
Love
Two people perfectly loving each other in this imperfect world. Commitment, unconditional, endurance, strength, patience, and communication are the words that come to mind when I think about marriage and black love. -Kristie 49
Meet the Moore’s Tiffany and Brian Married 6 years Met at DC function
What is
BLACK
Love
A relationship between a black woman and black man who share a bond through culture, history and livelihood. -Tiffany 50
What is
BLACK
Love
Genia Robinson and Robert Simmons, Jr. Dating 2 years Met at Martini's in PG County, MD "Black Love means longevity, supporting each other, respect, loyalty, tag team, building a financial future, securing a lifetime with each other, trusting each other, creating new adventures, understanding each other's personal stories and pains, being a positive example for our children and connecting with God together." -Genia 51
What is
BLACK
Love
"Black Love is two black people who genuinely love one another. They are there for one another, support, uplift, motivate and protect." -Lakia Hastye "Black Love is two black individuals trusting each other, respecting each other, being vulnerable with each other, growing together, weathering the storms of life together". -Jovon Drone Black Love is a commitment to show-up even on your worst day for your spouse and yourself!" -Jessica Hill
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What is
BLACK
Love
"Black Love is the loving caring devotion between two black people to make their relationship work. Trust, communication, honesty, and commitment are most important." -Sharon Dukes
"Black Love is committing and being loyal regardless of temporary circumstances. Loving your own like you would love yourself." -Michael Henderson
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Remember, no matter how beautiful something is on the outside, it can be poisonous on the inside - just like this oleander plant. 55
When the Heart Grows Cold
Excerpt from "The New Mind" by Marquita Antoinea 56
We must find the balance between not caring enough and caring too much. We must guard our hearts while simultaneously ensuring that we do not close our hearts off completely. If we are passionate, there is a reason God made us this way. We simply cannot allow others to take advantage of us. So, we must do our best to avoid letting our hearts grow cold, but when it seems inevitable, here’s a little encouragement. In my opinion, the heart is the most important organ in the human body. That's right. Not the brain, but the heart. The brain controls the way we think, the way we rationalize, the choices we make. On the other hand, the heart enables us to feel, to love, to empathize. However, the heart also leads us to the emotional roller coaster that most of us CHOOSE to ride day in and day out. I say we choose to ride on this emotional roller coaster because we don't take time to find the balance between an open heart and a cold one. Although the heart has the all-important job of pumping blood throughout our bodies, the heart is also the most vulnerable organ. We let people in and open up our hearts to people who are undeserving and the heart gets badly bruised. How much can one heart take?? Then, as a defense mechanism, we learn to put a guard up around our hearts so that we can protect the heart from being hurt irreversibly. The thing we must remember is that while we can somewhat protect our hearts, we cannot go overboard and let the heart grow cold. We have to guard against those who are not good for us while maintaining the ability to feel, to love, and to empathize with those deserving individuals placed in our lives by God. If the heart grows cold, we will not only keep others out of our heart, but we will keep ourselves from reaching others. So finding the balance is key. Guard your heart from evil, but do not close it off completely. We do this through prayer, reading the Bible, and a careful selection process of who to let in and who to keep away. God will show you the way. Follow God undoubtedly, so that following your heart will not be scary. Once we learn how to appropriately deal with what and how those around us make us feel, we can continue changing the way we think and the way we want our lives to be. One method of making sure these desired changes become a reality is to let go of what we think others want us to do or what society dictates as right (i.e. making New Year’s Resolutions at the start of a new year, multi-tasking even with a lack of focus, or becoming content in mediocrity). The change definitely starts within and, in some cases, can be very small or seemingly insignificant. Nonetheless, action towards change must be taken. 57
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Ask the Editor
What is your fondest memory of Black Love? Growing up, I can remember so many positive things about Black Love. My parents have been married almost 39 years and they still enjoy each other’s company. My favorite memory is watching my father turn up the music and grab my mother’s hand to dance. I have never once seen my mother turn him down. It has always been a beautiful example of what Black Love is supposed to be. Thanks Girl and Father Dad for showing me how it should be done.
What do you feel when you hear about the accomplishments of a fellow Black person? Honestly, I feel a sense of pride whenever I hear about black people doing great things. I feel it’s necessary to uplift each other and prove to the world that we are indeed indeed a force to be reckoned with. We must celebrate positivity and spread love throughout our community because only when we begin to uplift each other will others realize they must do the same. 59
Meet the Authors
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Talecia Izlar is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who is trauma informed, and is experienced working with clients to process and heal from trauma. She also has experience working with clients that present with anxiety, depression, ADHD, behavioral issues, relationship conflict, stress and anger management, self-esteem issues, mood stability, and psychotic disorders. Talecia's goal for her clients is to guide them towards Hope, Happiness, and Healing through self-exploration, analyzing thoughts and beliefs, and making positive behavioral changes. Talecia is a Rehabilitation Specialist for a Psychiatric Rehabilitation Program, supervising Direct Care Staff. She is also a therapist at both a mental health clinic and for her very own private practice - Guided Journeys, LLC, in Lanham, MD.
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Benita Henderson, a “closet writer" for years, has devoted her life to her family. She is a proud wife, mother of four, and grandmother of ten. She has always believed that following your dreams is of the utmost importance, and she proved this when she received her Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration at the age of 50. Her newest feat becoming a published author has given her a newfound hope that she will be able to continue her mission of expressing her love for God through her writing. She considers herself to be an encourager to all. There is a silver lining behind every cloud. Aside from the importance of family and education, Benita also values honesty, love, peace, spirituality, and friendship. To know her is to love her. In her book "From the Depths of My Soul," Benita allows readers to take a glimpse into her life by sharing some of her innermost thoughts in journal-style snippets each complete with vulnerability and humility. Benita is sure to be a promising author as she succeeds at whatever she puts her mind to. 62
Marquita Antoineå was born and raised in Prince George’s County, MD. She is a single mother of three beautiful children and a two-time published author. For the majority of her life, Marquita has enjoyed helping other people in whatever way she can. Alongside her brother, in 2012, she co-founded The Just Dream Foundation, Ltd., a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering children, teens, and young adults through mentoring and tutoring. Marquita has big dreams of owning her own literary agency one day where individuals will be able to learn creative writing skills and enhance story-telling capabilities. She has hopes of creating a platform for people everywhere to share their stories of strength and perseverance. Writing has always been a hobby for Marquita, but now she realizes that her writing is therapeutic and healing for both her and those around her. With this in mind, Marquita plans to continue writing for as long as she can.
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Brigetta Weatherington is a 34year-old lover of words. She enjoys writing about society's weaknesses, love, and the strongholds of depression. Brigetta has survived 20 years of depression and 10 years of suicidal thoughts, while also combatting high societal anxieties. Although a lover of public platforms, these undersurfaced experiences still reveal themselves in solitude and interpersonal environments. Because she knows smiles often share a space with scars, she's always made it her mission to be an extra smile for others everyday. As a mother, Brigetta is dedicated to setting a wonderful example of love and acceptance for her daughter. As a dance fitness instructor, she is able to share her love of creativity and healthy living with others from varying backgrounds. Brigetta has high hopes of escaping her horizons in the entrepreneurial world, but she always finds a way to make it back to her true love - words!
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Joy Danielle Bell is a scholar, advocate, and activist who works to empower and educate disenfranchised peoples through civic engagement, mentorship, and community service. Joy knows that education is critical to the cultivation and sustainment of a more prosperous future generation and the passport to global citizenship. She is a founding Parent Leader in Education (PLE) Ward 5 Board Member and former Citywide Board Member for the District of Columbia’s Parents Amplifying Voices in Education (PAVE). She serves as a Board member advocating for equity in education as it relates to funding, tangible resources, quality instruction, transparency, and accountability. Since 2010, as a mentor, liaison, event planner, curriculum specialist, and grant researcher with Youth Professional Development (YPD), Joy has supported and assisted more than 50 teen parents in the successful completion of academic requirements, professional development and life skills training, parenting workshops, and the college admissions process. In January 2021, Joy’s involvement with YPD evolved as she was welcomed as one of its newest Board Members. She also serves as the Director of Education on the Executive Board of Fighters for Freedom Hill, a non-profit organization dedicated to the preservation and rebuilding of the oldest town incorporated by freed slaves in the United States; Princeville, North Carolina. Joy holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Political Science from North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University. She also earned a Master of Education in Curriculum and Instruction from Trinity Washington University’s Educating for Change Program in Washington, D.C.
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