Just Dream Literary Magazine by Marquita Antoinea

JUST DREAM

A Literary Magazine May 2020 / Volume 1

May is

Mental Health Awareness Month!

Why Mental Health is Too Difficult to Discuss | Pg. 9

Cancer: A Caregiver's Journey | Pg. 25

My Darkest Hour | Pg. 41

Table of Contents

Letter from the Editor Marquita Antoineรก

Poetry Brigetta Weatherington

Why Mental Health is Too Difficult to Discuss Anonymous

G. P. S. Guided Purposed Soul Ceci Taliaferro

Where Your Mind Goes, Your Body Will Follow Mary Patterson

Cyberbullying and Self-Image Jalynn Gray

17 20

Cancer: A Caregiver's Journey Benita Henderson

The Other Side of the Truth Crystal Brooks

Living Your Best Life: The Importance of Healthy Relationships Talecia Frazier

My Darkest Hour Marquita Antoineรก

A Letter to an Old Friend Madisyn Clark

Meet the Authors May 2020

This Beautiful Moment Katrina M. Henderson

45 www.justdreamlitmag.com

A Letter from the Editor

Happiness is more than just an emotion that comes and goes. It is a state of mind. It is a choice. Choose to be happy everyday!

About 8 years ago, my brother and I founded a non-profit organization with dreams of empowering others to be their best possible selves. The Just Dream Foundation was formed with the mission of empowering children, teens, and young adults through the continual reinforcement of positive ideas and behaviors in every aspect of life. It is with that vision in mind that I conceived the idea of the “Just Dream: A Literary Magazine.” The times we are living in right now are wreaking havoc on the mental health of people everywhere. As one who is committed to empowering others, I believe it is my duty to let people know that it is okay to NOT be okay. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to tell your story with hopes of helping someone else. It’s OKAY to NOT be OKAY! It is with my deepest sincerity that I thank each and everyone of the contributors in this Inaugural Issue of this Literary Magazine! To all of our readers, prepare to be amazed by the different stories and various points of view all dedicated to Mental Health Awareness! Share the love!

Marquita Antoineá 3

Poetry

By: Brigetta Weatherington

Suicidal Thoughts Give Depression to God Lap my body atop a cloud Take the hurt Dissolve the mound Of "Why?"s and "Can't Be"s My eyes are tired I can't seeÂ The good

Turn matter into space They won't see the transition TransformÂ And watch them watch less Watch them talk less Blend into dust Float away into A place unlike One with everything And nothing

Ask God to Remove Depression Dehydrated Crawling to my plate Seeking you For my soul's sake Feed me, Oh Lord Sweat into my pores Let pools of you stream through my veins Breathe into my inquisitive interest I rebuke all that is not you, in me Bend me Use me During my drought even Quench my thirst Devoutly cleaving

Where Your Mind Goes, Your Body Will Follow Written by Mary Patterson Author and Fashion Designer

Patterson

That is a powerful quote, which rings true in all of our lives. What we think will manifest into words, actions, or an emotion—good or bad. Becoming the master of our own mind is the key that unlocks multiple levels of peace, joy, and happiness—levels that we already have access to. However, life has a tendency to burry us under so much trauma, negative emotions, and some burdens that don’t belong to us. Learn to shift your thinking and, in return, your life will begin to shift as well. You have all that you need to take your power back. I would like to provide you with tangible tools to apply to your everyday life. Through intentional actions, you will begin to take small steps in maintaining the mental peace you desire most. Acknowledge- To be intentional about counterattacking our negative thinking, we must first become aware that we have a cycle of negative thinking that we have made our “home.” We can’t fix what we fail to acknowledge. We must also acknowledge that there is a space of mental peace available to us when we are willing to do the work. For me, my acknowledgment came when I realized that I was frowning more than I was

Where the Mind Goes

smiling, sad more than I was happy. It was a result of what I was focused on. I had to acknowledge that I was focusing on the wrong things; I was focused on everything that was going wrong, went wrong, and could go wrong. I was so focused on my past that I was treating my present moment as if it was not a valuable gift from God. Acknowledgment was the starting point for intentional actions. You, too, have the power to push past just acknowledging your self-destructive cycles to the space of manifestation of the life you desire. Intention- Now that you’re aware of the root cause for your patterns of negative thinking, set your intentions on changing those patterns. What is it that you desire? What would you like to see flow to you? For me, my intention was and still is —to obtain and maintain unshakable peace and the abundant life that God promised to me. It’s pretty easy to set your intentions; however, the intentional ACTIONS that accompany your intentions will push you to where you desire to be. Life is all about being intentional. If you speak with anyone who has moved past their life’s struggles, I’m sure being intentional will be a part of their journey.

Where the Mind Goes Yes, you have to be intentional about reversing the way you think. Take baby steps. Each day is a new day for you to put forth your best effort. You can tackle one area at a time by picking a day to not overthink things, pick a day to reverse every negative thought with a positive affirmation. Show yourself some grace. You will win some battles and you will lose some battles and that’s s okay. Whatever you do, remain intentional about the work it’ll take to get you where you desire to be. Call Forth - You are Powerful! Did you know that? Well, if you didn’t, I’m here to tell you that you are not alone. I, too, didn’t know how powerful I was until I was in the valley moments of my healing process— whew! I thought I wouldn’t make it out. Look at me now! I am hope for you and so many others. I am a domestic violence survivor, and I am a mother of an angel baby (a baby who died in the womb or shortly after birth). I once was buried in my trauma. As I begin to heal, I noticed that I allowed life to disable my power – it was never lost. There was power in me to shift my mindset, the way I viewed my

experiences, and the way I chose to handle others. There is power in taking the time to love yourself correctly. Call forth the power that resides within you. The power of forgiveness. The power of not taking things personally. The power of allowing things to BE. The power of your peace. Every power is restored as you begin to heal and become intentional in your actions. Look at it as a muscle that you’re building and it takes exercise to build it, you must intentionally work at it. Don’t forget to stay connected to your spiritual source; join a community that will hold you accountable. Your best teacher will be life itself! I am FREE - You are free! Envision your freedom long before you’ve actually obtained it. The key to manifesting anything is you must envision it, believe it, walk like it, and talk like it as you are becoming it. You’re free from negative thinking. You are free from self-sabotage. You are free from self-hate. You are free from over thinking. I am free from____________! Join the Don’t Block Your Bloom community where women from all walks of life gather to share boldly and unapologetically their truths in an environment filled with sisterhood and healing. As you embark on uncharted territory, we are a community that will help you through the valley moments: www.dontblockyourbloom.com

Why Mental Health is Too Tough to Discuss A Black Man's Plea

Anonymous

Anonymous Well let’s talk about the elephant in the room… Mental health in the black community! Why is mental health too tough to talk about? Why is it that if someone is going through something mentally, people/family would say “Oh, that’s nothing but the devil!”? This is something I heard most of my life. When I would say I don’t feel right, or things just felt off. I was always greeted with that saying. During my adolescent years, I mainly stayed to myself while in the house. I had my own room in the basement. Most people would say, “That’s great, like having your own place.” To me though, it was a dark space…no windows, no lights unless I turned on my night light. Let’s just say so many things transpired in that room. I had many dark thoughts, and I honestly don’t know why/where they came from (at the time). Let me make something very clear, everything is not the devil. People are really going through some things mentally that have nothing to do with the devil. When we as a community realize that, it won’t be taboo to discuss. Digging a little deeper, as a black man in this society we are told/taught to be strong, don’t show any emotion, be tough. You crying? You better not be crying…. Well what does that do to your mental? You end up holding everything inside and don’t know how to process your feelings or emotions. So, what’s the next step? Lashing out! Things started to fester and build and grow on the inside and I had no idea what to do. Growing up with all of this was a lot to handle, but I really had no one to turn to. Remember, I couldn’t go to family because “it was the devil”. I couldn’t talk to friends because well we all know friends didn’t want to hear about that – at least not back in the 90’s. As I got older, something happened that I didn’t know existed. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder! WHAT IS THAT?!

Why Mental Health is Too Difficult to Discuss How can I tell my family and friends this? Who would believe me? Why is this happening to me? Where did it come from? Well, I had trauma that I didn’t even know existed. The other side of me took on all the pain and hurt while I was out here just living trying to survive. I would lose track of time, trying to figure out where the day went. Who are these women in my phone? Why am I so out of it? All I did was wake up! It was an intense time that I was trying to figure out. I got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore and tried to take my own life…You know what my family said? You guessed it, “that’s just the devil” … NO IT’S NOT!!! It wasn’t until that incident that I started going to therapy on a regular basis, trying to listen and take on what my therapist was saying. I was put on medication to help and sometimes it just didn’t work. I was fighting with anyone that was close to me. I honestly didn’t want the help at the time because again my thoughts went back to “Be strong, no man should be crying!” I was battling myself and the other “person” inside of me, which was a product of trauma I had no idea about. How do you get out of this? How do you really let go of what you’ve been told your whole life? I held all of the trauma inside. My story is simple; I finally realized that I didn’t have to be tough for anyone, because I MUST live for me. I must figure out who I am and why all of this is happening. I did seek out God and began to pray and go to church, which I can honestly say did help me a lot. Seeking God is just one piece of the puzzle. God puts people on earth to help us navigate this thing called life. So, why not use them? That’s what they are here for. I’m sharing this story, my reality, to let you know that you are not crazy! If you don’t feel right, go seek the help you need. Create a circle of individuals who understand

Anonymous

Why Mental Health is Too Difficult to Discuss

your battles and won’t judge you. Ask God for discernment. For me personally, what has helped me is going to the gym. Working out releases endorphins that help me mentally. No, I don’t recommend this for everyone, but this is what works for me and my mental. As far as my bipolar disorder, it’s still there I just live with it everyday and seek God’s help and guidance. I was on medication for years and it did help balance me out. Medication is not a bad thing. Often there could be a chemical imbalance. However, how would you know if you never try? Of course, this is just a glimpse into my story, and I wanted to share a piece of it with you, to let you know you don’t have to travel this path alone. Black community, we must do better as a people and encourage our black boys and men to know it’s okay to feel emotions. It doesn’t make you less of a man to have feelings. In fact, it makes you a better man! Start listening to your loved ones or friends that may be going through. You never know your one call to say, “Hey are you okay? Need to talk?” could be the very thing that saves the next black man’s life!

Mental health is not a joke! 11

Define Me Who am I? A beautiful, talented mother of three? Yes, but that doesn't define me. Who am I? A published author with a Master's Degree? Yes, but that doesn't define me. Who am I? A short and sassy woman determined to rule the world? Yes, but that doesn't define me. Who am I? A creative hair braider that never leaves a client unsatisfied. Yes, but that doesn't define me. Who am I? A non-profit owner intending to empower others? Yes, but that doesn't define me. Who am I? A hopeful and talented lyricist and singer with a paralyzing fear of performance? Yes, but that doesn't define me. So one may ask me, "What DOES define you?" And this will be my answer: I AM A CHILD OF THE MOST HIGH who is determined to walk in my purpose. I may not know exactly what my purpose is yet. However, through prayer, faith, and perseverance I will find my calling. And no matter how uncomfortable it may seem at first, I will obey my Father in Heaven for I know that He will never leave me nor lead down the wrong path. I will be patient and keep my eyes and ears focused on God so that when He tells me my exact purpose in this thing called life, I WILL BE MORE THAN READY!

Written by: Marquita Antoineรก 12

Cyberbullying and Self-Image

Written by Jalynn Gray High School Senior

Gray January 12, 2020 marked three years from the day that a complete stranger, nine words, and a high school pep rally tried to crush my selfesteem and fill my world with shame. Those nine painful words, “OMG she is too big for the cheer team,” made up just one of the many humiliating comments on my weight and appearance written alongside a video I never knew existed. The video, which was posted on Twitter by someone I did not know, featured me—a proud ninth grade cheerleader performing inside my high school rivalry’s gymnasium. This experience of cyberbullying is what inspired me to realize my self-worth and to make a lasting impact on others.

Cyberbullying and Self-Image As a prospective college freshman, I am seeking to study exercise science to become an athletic trainer for a professional sports team. The body shaming I experienced is why my future career will focus on the prevention of not only physical injuries, but emotional ones as well. By becoming a trainer, I can improve athletes’ mental performance through social support methods, to reach them in their depression or anxiety when they are recovering from injuries. One of my goals as a college graduate is to create a charitable foundation, called Esteem Athlete, to support athletic youth on how to cope, persevere, and overcome the effects of cyberbullying, and other forms of bullying. I plan to make a difference in the lives of cyberbullied youth who fear they cannot be accepted or treated with respect.

Gray Being a victim of online bullying influenced my outlook on life. It has changed my perspective on how to do a better job of encouraging my peers when they do not feel confident in themselves. When I learned an online attack against my weight was trending and earning likes by viewers, I immediately decided I would quit my cheerleading team. However, I received support through encouraging text messages from my coach and a talk with a teammate who had previously overcome a similar cyberbullying attack. When a friend of mine was suffering with low self-esteem and needed my help, I was able to use the encouragement I was shown to motivate her to push past whatever she was going through. Giving her positive affirmations and telling her that she was admired made her feel worthy again. In the same way, the kind actions done on my behalf during my time of need helped me realize I could do the same for others. Most of all, I realized that I did not need to feel less about who I was or how I looked.

Cyberbullying and Self-Image Moving forward from January 12, 2017, I now know none of those horrible comments about my appearance mattered. Being a victim of cyberbullying helped to form the strong and resilient person I am today. If it were not for my personal growth that resulted from all the negativity, I may not have remained focused on my goals of excelling in high school, serving those in need in my community, and establishing connections in the athletic industry. The years ahead are sure to be filled with moments of adversity that I will have to overcome, but I will not give up. As I work towards becoming a first-generation college graduate, I want to teach others why I did not let a complete stranger, nine words, or a high school pep rally determine who I was.

The effects of cyberbullying were difficult to ignore, but I decided not to respond to any of the comments against my image. When I learned I was being targeted online, I could not sleep and wanted to stay home from school because I was ashamed. Instead of missing my classes, I found the courage to attend school even though my head was held low. By not retaliating against those responsible for the hurtful Tweet, I maintained my integrity and decency as a student-athlete. Using what I learned from this incident, I chose to help a classmate who almost engaged in behavior that would have caused negative consequences. I explained to my peer that poor decisions often lead to poor outcomes, and she decided not to do anything offensive. My grit kept me from retaliating against my wrongdoers and quitting one of my favorite commitments: cheerleading.

A Brain Attack

A therapist once told me, "A mental breakdown does to the brain the same thing that a heart attack does to the heart." And that statement couldn't be more true. The image below shows the brain at different stages of mental illness. Make a habit of getting a "mental checkup" before the brain looks like the images on the right of this diagram.

G. P. S. Guided Purposed Soul

Written By Ceci Taliaferro Daycare Owner / Inspirational Speaker 17

Taliaferro

Life is like a GPS, recalculating every time we make bad choices and decisions. Sometimes we fail to heed the warming or the redirection, while leads to a repeat of the mistake or bad decision. In a moment of self-reflection, I realized that the main reason why we seem to keep making the same bad choices over and over again is because of a lack of self-worth. Hey, I THINK I’M LOST! How many people feel like they are moving through life as though they are riding in a car lost? Even though we have a GPS saying the directions with a monotone voice, we still get lost. This is because our intuitive compass is continually off. It is off for one reason, and that is our inability to trust our intuition. I think about being in my teens and not following my intuitive self, but always second-guessing myself. That set me on a path of being subjected to mental, physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. When we develop that sense of uncertainty, it becomes an abusive habit with ourselves. As this continues, we eventually put ourselves on display for others to treat us the same. We become prey! We wear it like a neon sign. “Worthless!” When you silence your intuition, you silence your voice. You will allow anyone to take advantage of you without limitations. You won’t set healthy boundaries and you won’t tell others when you need help. You hide away within your fake smile and your fake laughter, praying that the bruise on your arm is well-hidden. In reality, what is truly hidden are the bruises and the scars on your soul. No one can see those from the outside looking in.

GPS

Having first experienced physical, mental, verbal, and emotional abuse in a teen relationship set me on a path of total self-destruction. Our society is so focused on domestic violence in adult relationships. This is unfortunate since it begins with our younger selves. When you fail to learn to understand that the first time someone’s actions causes your soul to tremble with fear, it is not love. When you are spoken to with disrespect, it is not love. It causes a person’s level of self-worth to take a traumatic hit! Through previous experiences, I found that I did not have low self-esteem – I had no self-esteem at all. What was worse was feeling like I had no one I could trust to tell, or the fear that had paralyzed me from telling anyone. To the perpetrator, I seemed like an easy permanent target. That experience caused me to continually search out one bad relationship after another. I realize now that what I was really searching for was myself. I began to think this was all that I was worth. It created decades of unhappiness, uncertainty, emotional abuse, physical abuse and despair that carries from one relationship to another. I wondered, “Why does he treat me this way? I am a good person; he should want to change for me.” Truth is no one will ever change for you except you! I believe the turning point for me was when I discovered that mental illness has many faces. In society, we often think of mental illness coming with a medical diagnosis. We don’t understand that we can be functioning with PTSD and not have gone to war. However, in our minds, we have in fact been to war. It’s called surviving. All of the abuses that I was subjected to created several mental related disorders that have controlled my life in a negative way. I developed depression, anxiety and fear. My first reaction to any issue was fear. What am I going to 18

Taliaferro

GPS

do? What will people think? Next, I developed panic attacks. I saw everything as a failure, and I would lay on the metaphorical train tracks simply waiting for the train to run me over. I spent decades in that space. In my teen years, it caused me to reflect on suicidal thoughts. I currently still live with anxiety, and I am still navigating in a direction where my self-worth is growing and allowing me to open up to all possibilities that my beautiful life has in store for me. I deserve that! No limits! It is never too late.

pull someone else up – to share not tear down. When we help others, it heals us. When we are working on our own beautiful selves, we have no time to judge others.

I realize that my GPS has been recalculating my entire life trying to get me from unworthiness to

We need to understand that we cannot change anyone. We have to be selfish enough to claim

greatness. On this journey, I am discovering the amazing human experience that God intended for me to have since the beginning of my existence. I have decided to trust the intuitive instrument that would ensure that I never feel afraid, even if I get lost. I have learned to just breathe while my GPS recalculates. I wait with patience, assurance, and joy in knowing that once it recalculates, I will be back on course. I journey onward trusting that I will always be okay. I now know without a shadow of doubt that I am worthy and strong enough to endure. When we are in the valley, the top of the mountain is always on the other side of the climb. When we are on the top of the mountain be assured that the valley is just one wrong step away from a fall. This can be with a death, a loss of job or a relationship to name a few. This is where our faith is tested. This is where our strength is uncovered. However, we must all understand that our failures are where our wisdom is birthed. We must reach down and

Too much time is wasted with concern about what others think of us. We must ask ourselves first, “Does this feel safe? Does this feel healthy and does this provide me happiness and growth.” It is perfectly okay to just be by ourselves for a season in life and be happy!

our own self-love, joy and bliss. Having someone to interject that into your life is not the ultimate; it is extra. The ultimate is giving that to yourself every single day. Feel comfortable in your own skin and learn to LOVE simply being with yourself. You will attract on the outside that which you believe on the inside and it will never fail to show up. Exactly in what way is all up to you! Live everyday like it is your last. Trust your intuition and keep allowing your inner GPS to continue to recalculate. The journey is always in motion. Embrace it and learn to JUST BE! You are a gifted, purposed, soul.

The Importance of Buiding Healthy Relationships Written by Talecia Frazier, LCPC Owner of Guided Journeys, LLC Lanham, MD 20

Frazier

Healthy Relationships

As a licensed therapist (who is also a woman), I receive over 90% of my inquiries for therapy from other women. Often, they are encountering anxiety or depression and want to learn coping skills to help manage their day to day lives. With exploration, the majority of women who come to my office express stressors due to frustrations with the â&#x20AC;&#x153;dating gameâ&#x20AC;?, hard break-ups, and relationship and marital conflict. There is a correlation between anxiety and depression and relationships! Although I have not done the extensive research that it requires to determine how they correlate and to what severity, it has been clear that symptoms impact relationships and relationships can increase or decrease symptoms. That brings about a very strong suggestion for women who want to live their BEST life: CHOOSE AND MAINTAIN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS!

Frazier

Choose relationships wisely. Whether you are in intimate relationships or close friendships, the people you interact with can increase or decrease depression. Imagine this – You have a husband who is a narcissist, constantly blaming you for every negative thing in your relationship, putting you down, and threatening to leave you when you don’t give him his way. How would you feel? Sad, possibly? Anxious or worried? Most likely, you would feel a mix of both emotions, as you are in a state of constant uncertainty. The constant unknown and cycle of highs and lows in the relationship can impact mood stability. On the flip side, let’s say you have an amazing husband. He knows that you have a history of depression and anxiety and has spent time and energy into learning what you need in order to manage your symptoms effectively. He has mastered your love languages! Maybe quality time is your primary love language so when you seem depressed, he plans a nice date! Or maybe affirmations is your primary love language so he sends you encouraging and CALMING words when you appear stressed! He makes you feel safe! Can you imagine the impact of reducing anxious and depressive symptoms if you are in a relationship with someone who IS your peace? CHOOSE WISELY and LEAVE relationships where interactions typically leave you feeling sad or anxious! Set healthy boundaries with people in your life. Learn the word “NO” without allowing yourself to feel GUILTY. Guilt can lead to shame, which can lead to FEELINGS OF DEPRESSION. Forgive yourself for putting your NEEDS above the WANTS of others. It is YOUR responsibility to set boundaries, not others’. You do not have control of other people in your life who PUSH, PULL, and DUMP on you. However, you have total control over who you allow, what you allow, and your limitations with regard to how much you pour into relationships and

Healthy Relationships

friendships. Pour into those who pour into you! The interchange of ENERGY can help you to grow and feel better about yourself; hence, a reduction in isolation and feeling of sadness and hopelessness. Place SELF-care at the top of your list. There is a strong emphasis on SELF-care! When you are on an airplane and something happens to the plane, do they advise you to put on your mask first, or the mask of a minor or elderly person accompanying you? YOU! How can you help anyone when you are not wearing your own protective mask?! Care for yourself and your needs first! Make yourself a priority – Meditate, Journal, Get Massages, Socialize, and DO THINGS YOU ENJOY! When you are taking care of yourself and your cup is full, you can pour into others around you without feeling EMPTY. When we are “empty”, we are no longer in the emotional space to be able to pour into our loved ones, which can make us feel sad, guilty, frustrated, depressed, and anxious. Take control of your own mental health. It can be very easy to blame other people for your own health and wellness. Instead of blaming the actions of toxic behaviors of the person you are with, seek understanding and insight about your role in your relationships. Are you attracting toxic behavior because of your own history of trauma or past negative experiences? Are you reinforcing unhealthy behaviors because of your responses? Seek therapy for help with improving your quality of life! I receive a large number of inquiries for couples counseling and oftentimes, they have never been to individual counseling. During my process of treating couples, I help them to explore how their individual experiences/trauma, which I like to call “stuff”, impacts their relationships with each other. Relationship conflict is often “inner children” arguing that are no longer on the playground! Your early

Frazier

Healthy Relationships

childhood experiences, family dynamics, and relationships contribute greatly to the way you view and respond to situations and interactions. Therapy, however, does not have to be about serious issues! Just like you schedule physical check-ups, it is healthy to schedule a mental CHECK IN as well! Please see my contact information (see next page) if you have questions, need consultation or a referral, or want to begin therapy services.

Cancer A Caregiver's Journey

Written by Benita Henderson Author of "From the Depths of My Soul"

B. Henderson A cancer diagnosis is emotionally draining for all involved. Doctors don’t like to deliver the news, the patient finds it difficult to identify their feelings, and family members don’t know how to react. Sadness, worry, and fear are natural emotions during the cancer journey. Dealing with emotions is not easy, but working through your emotions can help lower stress. This can lead to improved mental and physical health. When my husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 Laryngeal Cancer, my world shook. This diagnosis put me on an emotional rollercoaster. I felt sadness, fear, anger, anxiety, guilt, shock, depression, and worry. At the same time, I felt that I needed to be strong for my husband, children and grandchildren. I couldn’t allow anyone to see me shaken. I am a woman of faith and would not waiver, or so I thought. Here is my story. As an extremely stoic individual, I needed to present an attitude of strength and control, but most of the time I felt neither. I knew that there were many willing to help in any way I needed, but I was reluctant to ask for help. I pushed through as a hands-on caregiver. When my husband was released from the hospital, he needed a lot of care. He could walk and was fully alert, but he had a feeding tube, wounds that needed attention, a prosthesis that needed cleaning, help with showering, and administering medicine. We were in for a journey that for which there was no preparation. Although I had many emotions throughout the entire hospital stay, the three surgeries, and all of the ups and downs, my story starts after he was released from the hospital. I made the decision that I would care for him, and that I did not need a nurse to come. After all, I had vowed “Til Death Do Us Part” 37 years prior to this.

Cancer: A Caregiver's Journey Anyone who has received a cancer diagnosis holds an indelible memory of the moment his or her life changed in an instant. My spouse’s diagnosis made me realize just how much I loved and needed him. Hearing those words, I made an instantaneous decision to become the best caregiver possible. As for my husband, postcancer he has cherished each and every moment of life as the gift that it is. I don’t mean to trivialize either cancer or the caregiving experience. Tony’s treatment was grueling. He went through 3 surgeries, followed by a regimen of radiation, and chemotherapy. As his caregiver, I did things I never imagined doing: cleaning open wounds, changing bloody dressings, and feeding my husband through a tube in his stomach. I drove Tony to appointments, sat with him during his chemotherapy treatments, and watched my sturdy, strong husband get thinner and weaker every day. When Tony came home he communicated by writing on a dry erase board. Ironically, alone with my husband, I learned to pay attention to his body language, becoming sensitive to the unspoken meaning behind his hand gestures, leg movement, or his facial expressions. Even with the prosthesis, he was unable to speak at all. After a few months, the speech therapist suggested that Tony have a swallow test done to determine if the prosthesis was in the right place. The swallow test revealed is that he had some narrowing in his esophagus in the exact spot that the voicing would happen. Well, in order to fix the narrowing he needed another surgery. Even though the surgery was in/out, it was still a surgery. So after 8 months of healing, radiation treatments complete, down to maintenance chemotherapy treatments, being able to eat pretty regularly, he agreed to have this surgery. After this surgery, his throat was extremely sore

B. Henderson

Cancer: A Caregiver's Journey

and as fate would have it, the new prosthesis was leaking. I called the surgeon and the speech therapist and they saw him that very day. As scary as it was, they were able to fix the leak fairly quickly. Once the leak was fixed, for the first time in 9 months, Tony had a voice!

Nothing I did was right, nothing I did seemed to be valued, and certainly not appreciated. I felt a constant fear of failure, constantly tinkering even after a task has been completed, and doubted whether I was the best person to care for my husband.

The physical work of caregiving is exhausting, but rest will come eventually. It is the emotional turmoil of watching my husband be different than he had been, and seeing the change in this vibrant man who I love so much. As a caregiver, I experience a kind of emotional strain to which few can relate. At times, I felt guilt, resentment, and anxiety, but all I really wanted was to make this very difficult time for my husband as easy as I could. This reality made it difficult for me to express my emotions. I knew I had to control these feelings because I really did not want him to feel like a burden.

Other moments stand out as very special — like the time my husband who had not spoken for about 8 months told me he loved me in his (new) voice. It was these moments that kept me going, helped me to make the necessary changes, and allowed me to find new strength. It is during this period that I changed. I became more compassionate, understanding, learned to be present, and enjoy each day.

As a caregiver, there are many things you cannot control and, at the end of the day, the most important thing to do is to let go of chasing perfection and simply aim to do your best. This was difficult for me because many days I felt that my best just wasn’t good enough. I cried behind closed doors, and put on a brave face when I was out. I could not let my husband or anyone else see me discouraged. I had to remain positive in all things, even though many days I was breaking inside. Throughout my caregiving journey, there were many moments of laughter, tears, frustration, sorrow and happiness. Some moments stand out that I’d rather forget – like the time my husband decided to show me how his neck felt by choking me. This hurt me physically, but also mentally, because I knew that I could not relieve his pain. I was at the point of exhaustion, ready to give up.

Today, Tony is cancer free! We are still receiving maintenance chemotherapy treatments, which will go on for about a year, but all is well. I am still doing everything I can to ease any discomfort he has in an attempt to make things easier on him. I now know that he appreciates my care. He thanks me regularly and tells me he loves me constantly. While this is an experience I would rather have not gone through, it taught me so much. Caregiving is a job with many variables and unforeseen circumstances. When a situation seems impossible, it can be extremely easy to get into a defeatist mentality, but when you can tap into the power of belief and apply it to your seemingly impossible situation, your mindset will change. At any given point, all I can do is give my best. When I find myself doubting the quality of the care I’m providing, I remind myself: I do enough, I care enough, and I am enough!

A Letter to an Old Friend

Written by Madisyn Clark College Student and Blogger

-Marquita Antoineรก

The Other Side of the

Written By Crystal Brooks Founder of Love You More, Inc.

Brooks

The Other Side of the Truth Imagine being a bright-eyed bushy tailed happy go lucky 5-year-old and then in one instant your life changes forever, BUT you don’t realize it then! Well that 5-year-old was me…My innocence was taken at five by someone I trusted and loved, and it happened right in my sacred place…my bedroom. I am writing this to share the other side, the truth so please take this journey with me. Often, we tend to link mental health issues or insecurity to things that transpire as we get older. Truth is, it usually starts before we even realize it has happened. Do you know when we figure this out? When we get older and some crazy things begin happening, we rack our brains as to why we are

dealing with all of that. For the life of me, I could not figure out why I was going through certain things. For example, my father had been psychically abusive to me starting in the 4th grade up until my senior year of High School. What had I done so bad that he felt the need to treat me in such a way? Was I not good enough? I loved my father, yet when he looked at me, I felt anger and resentment…why? Of course, these are questions that I would later have answers to, but going through all those years of trauma didn’t help me mentally. Yes, I always wore a brave face, and no one knew the hell I experienced at home. Let me be clear, everyday wasn’t a fight but it sure as hell felt like it. Why wasn’t anyone there to rescue me? My mother, my brother? Why me, why do I have to endure such pain. These were the thoughts running through my head. My dad was on drugs, crack was his drug of choice. Back then, I did not understand why he was choosing this “thing” over his family. Oh well, guess I’m not good enough to have my father’s love so to let me seek it elsewhere. During my journey of dating, I, for some reason, dated boys/men that had some type of issue. It was as if they were a “project” for me. If I can fix their issue or them, they would love me and never leave…. WRONG! Them jokers cheated and some more. Took from me and never made a deposit back into my life. Now was it their fault? NO! Who knows how their upbringing was, or what they were exposed to? We were young and everyone was trying to find themselves in one way or another. Did I stay? Yup! I sure did because I was used to hurt anyway so what’s one more painful thing to add to my journey? I was just ready for someone to finally love me because everyone deserves love, right? That fairy tale, princess love…glass slipper fits type of love… Fast-forward to me finding the man that I thought would rescue me from all the pain I had experienced. I didn’t have to fix him… YAY God listened to me FINALLY!!! OOPS, little did I know I would be on a journey that would break me down to one of my lowest points. So, this is where things get a bit tricky. Know that my Ex-husband is cool with me sharing my journey because it is MY TRUTH…. the other side we never get to

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The Other Side of the Truth

hear about. Will I go into all of it here? No but please believe the snippet you’re about to get will take you on a ride, so buckle up and besides it’s not enough pages to go into all of that here. I was married to the man of my dreams (or so I thought) at the age of 20 and pregnant with our first daughter by 21. This should be a happy time, right? Well one day we went to dinner. It was during the Christmas holiday, and I was all excited that we are having a baby. So, I’m talking and laughing, and the restaurant started to play some Christmas music and he breaks down crying. I begin thinking, “Oh no! He’s not happy. What did I say? What did I do? Oh, God what is going on?” He couldn’t explain why he was crying, but he said he was happy about the baby. His tears became uncontrollable. Of course, we left the restaurant. This is where our story changes and our lives would never be the same. Here I go again having to figure out what’s going on so I can fix my husband. He had no clue why he was feeling the way he did. This literally came out of nowhere. There were NO signs of anything when we were dating so I was really taken back by all of this. During my entire pregnancy, I had to be the strong one. Cry? Nope, couldn’t happen. Feel emotions for myself? Nope, not a chance. I had to figure out what was going on with my spouse. Can you imagine being with someone, and they are not who you thought you married? Yeah it happens all the time, but I’m asking you to dig deeper. My husband had a split personality and I was able to meet the other person. Now, I know you are reading this like “Oh, hell nah!” But to me that was nothing major. It didn’t scare me. It intrigued me to want to know more, and that’s what I did. I dug deep and made a friend with the “other” person. Remember what I wrote earlier? I was a fixer. I needed to know how to fix this. So, what other way to fix this than to figure this out because I’d be damned if another man was leaving me. Besides, for better or for worse was the journey. The battle was real and the things I endured mentally I pushed back just like I did everything else from when I was younger. Again, I didn’t realize I was doing all of this until I almost lost my mind! I forgot about my needs and catered only to his needs. The baby and little ole me were an afterthought. I mean we went thought it ALL! My mom told me and I quote “The things you’re going through, I never in all my life seen anything like it, and I’ve been through some things!” Even with that, I stayed because growing up I was taught that you stay no matter what. After some years had gone by, I had just given birth to our second daughter, and something happened where I felt disconnected. The years of trying to fix him and all the memories of my childhood started flooding my mind. I no longer even knew who was staring back at me in the mirror. For the first time in my 29 years of living, I lost sight of me, or did I? I think I never knew who I really was because my life was filled with trauma that I just pushed down. Yet, I was the one wanting to fix everyone else without fixing my own mess. I should have been fixing my daddy issues - why someone I trusted would violate me in such a way. It all came flooding back like a tsunami and I lost CRYSTAL. I wanted NOTHING to do with my family. The kids? Yeah right! “You go take care of them,” I said. I just wanted a drink and to feel numb. Why couldn’t I do this? Everyone else was able to do what they wanted, and I always had to be the strong one. Let me be the “messy” one for ONCE. Those around me couldn’t understand why I was being so “selfish”. Honestly though, no one really checked on me, not even to say, “Hey, are you okay?” It wasn’t their fault. I just knew how to wear a

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The Other Side of the Truth

helluva mask! However, on the inside, I was drowning, and I desperately WANTED and NEEDED someone to come in and rescue me. It just didn’t happen. My brain was about to explode – I felt the pressure, and I was about to lose it all! There is hope on the other side of all of this. While my ex and I are no longer together, we sure as hell learned A LOT about life. He was broken; I was broken. Two broken people together is a train wreck waiting to happen unless you are both able to realize your truth. Neither one of us where in a place to recognize that. We were young and he so called “saved” me. I was 18 and trying to escape my reality of what I was going through. This was far from the truth. I tried saving him in his 20’s from his brokenness. I never allowed myself to heal from childhood things and just went on as the strong one. Why was I always allowing others to figure themselves out and I sit and wait? Then, when it came to me, HA! That was something that wasn’t going to happen. So, for perhaps the first time ever, I chose me! If I didn’t get my shit together, it would cost me more than I could ever image. At that point, I put on my big girl panties and started the journey of loving me more! Did I fall? ABSOLUTELY! The journey to self-love is not easy at all. It’s honestly one of the hardest things to do. Putting yourself first when you always put others first is selfish. Nevertheless, I learned IT’S OKAY TO BE SELFISH! If you’re not okay, no one around you will be okay – especially your children. I took a step back and went back down memory lane to my childhood, where it all started. I finally told my mother I was molested at the age of 5. I finally realized why my dad chose drugs over his family. It honestly wasn’t his fault. He had issues as a child that he never dealt with, and it manifested into his adulthood. We know no one was talking about mental health back in the 50’s, 60’s etc. It just wasn’t a thing. In my moments, I realized my dad was a man trying to find his way and what was done to me wasn’t him. It was the drugs. If any of you know someone who is on drugs, it’s a HELL of a thing to kick. Especially hard drugs. Now, don’t get me wrong. None of this is excused. As you get older and go through things yourself, you realize this thing called “Life” isn’t easy. I went to therapy for a while which helped and honestly what else got me through was reading Iyanla Vanzant’s book, “Piece from Broken Pieces”. I was a whole mess trying to piece back the pieces to everyone else’s life and in the process the pieces of mine were being taken. I had nothing left for myself. Being the strong one can only last for so long before you break, and I’m here to tell you it’s okay to break. Even superheroes need help too! The truth is not easy to share. This is only a snippet into my journey. Your mental health is real, and you must take care of YOU first. Stop giving away pieces of you or accepting pain and hurt from others. You must want more, for you and loving you more is only the beginning. Build a relationship with God. I dare you to try him and see what happens. That was the final piece of my ongoing journey of self-love and care. Connect with other women that will pour into your life. Sometimes when you don’t have the strength, you can borrow it from someone else until you are strong enough. I hope this has helped just one person to see that you’re not alone. Your breakthrough and your testimony could very well help someone else. Be encouraged, know that you can Evolve, Empower & Live! – Love You More!!

Maslowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Heirarchy of Needs

Abraham Maslow had very enlightening views on the motivation behind human behavior. Maslow used the terms "physiological", "safety", "belonging and love", "social needs" or "esteem", and "self-actualization" to describe the pattern through which human motivations generally move. Source: Maslow, Abraham (1954). Motivation and Personality. Harper and Brothers. 36

This Beautiful Moment

Written by Katrina M. Henderson Creative Director of Unbreakable Memories 37

K. Henderson

With everything that is going on right now, I do not want you to forget that you are beautiful in THIS MOMENT. We can look at the outside things happening and get into a mental or emotional low because we have been forced into a moment of stillness. Think about it for a minute - We are sitting in our pajamas (haven’t really put on real clothes, let alone a pair of jeans), haven’t been to the hairdresser or nail salon, and most importantly, haven’t been able to connect with our loved ones other than by phone or video. It can be a really lonely place unless we stop to appreciate THIS BEAUTIFUL MOMENT! You see, with everything that we are dealing with, our minds can begin to question our existence. We start to question our worth. We question our abilities because there is nothing about THIS situation that we can control. To be honest, we even begin to question God. But, trust and believe, this moment is not a mistake. This moment is the opportunity for you to connect to your inner beauty. We all have experienced some type of trial and trauma and that trauma may have caused us to question who we are or even why we exist. Nevertheless, I’m here to tell you that you are beautiful despite your circumstance and it’s time to be still. Be still to appreciate the stillness. Be still to reflect on who God has called you to be. Be still to BE in this moment of stillness! Through my own journey of self-discovery, I had to question everything that I knew as beautiful. I had to sit with and acknowledgement that being beautiful is not about the outward appearance.

This Beautiful Moment

Being beautiful is: Smiling when you’re hurt. Loving life no matter what. Loving that fat roll no matter how much we really hate them – after all, that is why they are called love handles, right? Loving ourselves regardless of who else loves us. Finding forgiveness even when someone can’t or won’t say sorry for mistreating us. Saying NO when we just cannot take on anymore. Admitting that we deserve more, not because of what we do but because of who we are! In order to find our beautiful, we must begin to accept responsibility for our own lives and make the changes that are necessary in order to move forward. No, life is not easy, but if we shift our perspective then we open the door to possibilities! When is the last time that you visualized yourself walking in that thing that you desired? When is the last time that you believed so much that you had the confidence to accomplish it? When is the last time that you lived in THIS BEAUTIFUL MOMENT? Below are a few suggestions on how you can find YOUR BEAUTIFUL! Trust me when I tell you that we all have it inside; it is just a matter of doing the work to discover it. 1. Admit that you have been hurt. When we are hurt, we vow that we will never find ourselves in the same situation again. However, how can we heal if we do not acknowledge that we were hurt in the first place? Try not to adopt

K. Henderson

the “I don’t care” attitude because you will do a disservice to yourself IF you don’t acknowledge the hurt. Your freedom depends on you living in YOUR truth. 2. Stop focusing on the past. We must stop blaming the person that hurt us. When we continue to blame, we continue to give them power. We must TAKE back our power. We cannot ourselves as the victim any longer. Beautiful, you were hurt but you are still standing! Make the choice to heal. It is YOUR responsibility to YOUR beautiful! 3. Learn to trust yourself. When you learn to trust yourself, you will see that your circumstances do not change who you are. The trials and the circumstances give you perseverance to keep pushing through. You are a conqueror! It does not change your “inner voice”. You were created for more, and your trials can’t change that. 4. Be purposeful in your actions. You won’t know what you can do unless you try.

This Beautiful Moment

Open yourself up for change by being in the moment. Actively appreciate what is going well inyour life. Stop saying things like “Woe is me” and instead take the time to just be and enjoy every moment. Be comfortable with walking in YOUR purpose rather than staying stuck in your fear or our your past. 5. Visualize yourself walking in it. There is nothing more powerful than visualizing yourself walking in the things that you desire or want to manifest. Close your eyes and visualize yourself walking in your purpose or desire. If you cannot see it, then you either must not want it bad enough, or you do not believe it completely. How do you view yourself? What do you see yourself accomplishing? No matter the situation or obstacle standing in your way, trust yourself enough to push through whatever life throws your way! No matter what you do, never let the trials cripple you. Look at the fact that you are better today than you were yesterday! Are you ready to walk in THIS BEAUTIFUL MOMENT?

My Darkest Hour How One Decision Changed the Course of My Life

Written by Marquita Antoineรก Author and Founder of The Just Dream Foundation, Ltd.

Marquita Antoineá Marquita Antoineá

There was a time about 10 years ago when, from the outside looking in, it seemed as if my life was falling right into place and I was on track to be the best me that I could be. Boy, was I wrong! I was on my way to self-hate and destruction all because I refused to acknowledge the hurt from my past. I tried to bury the hurt with alcohol and laughter, when in actuality, my pain got more and more real everyday. I felt that it was pointless to say anything to anyone because I was sure that no one would understand where I was coming from. I mean, think about it. At the time, I had a degree, a good job, two beautiful and healthy children, and a wonderful family who was always there for me. But still, something was missing and that something was huge. The missing piece in my life was self-love. I remember thinking something like, “Just once, I want someone who claims to be close to me (outside of obligation, that is) to notice when I disappear. I want someone to notice when I am not acting like myself. I want someone to notice when they haven’t heard anything from me - the one who usually makes a habit of checking on others. Just once, I want someone to genuinely check on me.”

My Darkest Hour My Darkest Hour

It used to bother me that the people I was closest to growing up seemed to have all moved on without me, leaving me without a true friend that wasn’t related by blood. Then I got over it. I got stronger. I got wiser. I learned to realize that my relationship with those people was set up purposely for me to grow as a human and stand on my own two feet. The problem with this way of thinking is that no one is truly meant to be alone. “You’ll never be alone; you have your children,” they said. But if any of them had taken one second to realize that protecting my children and loving my children and wanting the best for my children was my greatest source of anxiety and fear, maybe, just maybe, I would have never made it to my darkest hour. But, I digress. Let’s get back to the point. I can remember that day like it was yesterday. I woke up early that morning even though I had been out late the night before. I felt slightly hungover, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. I sat at the edge of the bed deep in my thoughts. I mostly thought about that day being my last day. I actually decided it should be. I attempted to rationalize my yearning for 42

Marquita Antoineá

the “Grand Escape” by telling myself that the world would be a better place without me in it. I made a list of the pros and cons of taking myself out, and I definitely came up with more pros. So, I made a plan. I went to the grocery store to pick up items for a huge “last meal.” Then I invited my immediate family over for dinner. Of course, they had no idea the real reason behind the invitation at that point. When I got back from the grocery store, I turned my music up loud and danced while I cooked. And even with all that was going on in my head with what I had planned for later that evening, I felt surprisingly at peace. I had made up my mind that my time on this Earth had come to an end. Nothing was going to change my mind. Once dinner was ready and my family started to arrive at my apartment, I began counting down the time. My family and I had great conversation and laughs while ate the delicious meal. It was like any other typical Saturday for our family. But little did they know, I was trying to say goodbye.

My Darkest Hour

After they left, I bathed my children and got them ready for bed. We said prayers, and a tear fell from my eye as I kissed them gently on their cheeks. I hugged them tight and tucked them into bed. I left the room slowly because I knew that once I left the room, I would never see them again. I walked to my room and closed the door. On my nightstand next to me were two different pill bottles and a glass of water. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Then I began putting the pills in my mouth one at a time and swallowing as quickly as I could. Shortly after, I passed out. Regret set in the moment I woke up. “IT DIDN’T WORK! Are you kidding me?” I thought. I felt like the angel of death had let me down. And to top it off, my head and stomach were in so much agony. I called a friend who got in touch with my brother and they took me to the Emergency Room. The embarrassment hit me as soon as I got to the hospital. I was embarrassed that o had allowed myself to go that far. I was embarrassed that I had a Master’s Degree in Psychology and had helped countless

Marquita Antoineá

My Darkest Hour

people get through emotional trauma before that day and couldn’t help myself. I was embarrassed that I had to reveal my plan to the doctors so they would know how to treat me.

How would it really have made my loved ones feel if I didn’t make it through? I humbled myself quickly. From that moment on, I made a vow to myself that I would never attempt to take myself out of this world again. I decided that I would After telling them what pills I took, the remain strong enough to PUSH THRU no doctors decided that I needed emergency matter what was going on. After all, my action. I ended up having my stomach children need me. My parents need me. pumped and being admitted into the My siblings need me. My friends and other hospital for 72 hours against my will. I loved ones need me. Through this couldn’t have my phone, television, or any process, I learned that I am the one who is technology at all. We got about 15 supposed to be there for everyone else. I minutes of phone time, and the phone was came to terms with the fact that even if in the middle of a common area. There other people weren't always there for me was no privacy since I was essentially on when I needed them the most, that would suicide watch. After the first 72 hours, I not dictate whether or not i would be was released with the condition of there for them in their time of need. In participating in an outpatient group other words, me being a support system therapy program. I was diagnosed with for others was a completely SELFLESS Major Depression and Anxiety and sent act. home with medications and instructions for coming back everyday for group As I stated before, that was 10 years ago. therapy. Since then, I have learned to better cope with my emotions, and life is so much It was at that program that I learned better because of it. My life is blossoming, gratitude and humility. I was thankful that my children are thriving, and I’m still my planned had failed. I was thankful that I surviving. Now, my dream is to help other had been given another chance. I was people who also suffer from depression thankful that my children would not have and anxiety. Together, we can all FEEL to grow up without a mother. Most of all, I better, DO better, BE better. knew that I no longer had the right to be that selfish.

Meet the Authors

Mary Patterson was born and raised in Washington, D.C. A well-respected entrepreneur and influencer known for her natural ability to bring the best out of others by helping them heal from past traumas, selfdestructive cycles and mental bondage; Mary published her first book in 2019 entitled “Don’t Block Your Bloom.” In this non-fiction book, Mary takes the reader on a personal journey of healing to discover their divine power. Mary knows that life has a way of disabling the power that God has bestowed upon us at birth, and sometimes it’s hard to find your way back. She has dedicated her time to sharing her story in hopes of empowering others to share their own truth. With her powerful and captivating testimony, Mary has created a community for women to gather in truth and transparency to boldly walk upright as they heal. Don’t Block Your Bloom will leave you prepared to do the necessary work to reach full BLOOM.

Website www.dontblockyourbloom.com

Talecia Frazier is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who is trauma informed, and is experienced working with clients to process and heal from trauma. She also has experience working with clients that present with anxiety, depression, ADHD, behavioral issues, relationship conflict, stress and anger management, self-esteem issues, mood stability, and psychotic disorders. My goal for my clients is to guide them towards Hope, Happiness, and Healing through selfexploration, analyzing thoughts and beliefs, and making positive behavioral changes. Talecia is a Rehabilitation Specialist for a Psychiatric Rehabilitation Program, supervising Direct Care Staff. She is also a therapist at both a mental health clinic and for her very own private practice - Guided Journeys, LLC, in Lanham, MD.

Email: guidedjourneysllc@gmail.com

Brigetta Weatherington is a 34year-old lover of words. She enjoys writing about society's weaknesses, love, and the strongholds of depression. Brigetta has survived 20 years of depression and 10 years of suicidal thoughts, while also combatting high social anxieties. Although a lover of public platforms, these undersurfaced experiences still reveal themselves in solitude and interpersonal environments. Because she knows smiles often share a space with scars, she's always made it her mission to be an extra smile for others everyday. As a mother, Brigetta is dedicated to setting a wonderful example of love and acceptance for her child. As a dance fitness instructor, she is able share her love of creativity and healthy living with others from varying backgrounds. Brigetta has high hopes of expanding her horizons in the entrepreneurial world, but she always find a way to make it back to her true love - words!

Email: bcw1786@gmail.com

Ceci Taliaferro, (born and raised in Washington, D.C.) is the proud mother of two sons and three daughters, and the proud grandmother of two granddaughters, one grandson and a third granddaughter (Summer 2020). Ceci has spent many years interacting with the public and talking with them, leaving them with words of wisdom, encouragement and hope. With many request for books and speaking engagements, she has made the decision to transition into motivational speaking to step outside of her comfort zone. Mental illness has many faces. Physical and emotional abuse can create disorders that we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t understand stem from these abuses. Having endured domestic violence, low self esteem, mental trauma on many levels, she desires to dedicate her life to speaking and sowing hope and triumph into the lives of others and to help them understand that they can overcome anything because they are ENOUGH! It is her gift of transparency that allows so many to connect with her as she serves. Hope is the fine line between life and death. Hope can help someone decide to wake up tomorrow and choose LIFE! This is her mission.

Email: ceci.taliaferro@gmail.com

Crystal Brooks is the Founder & CEO of Love You More, Inc., a non-profit organization focused on empowering women and teen girls. Born in DC and raised in a suburban Maryland neighborhood, Crystal was reared in a picturesque household. She had every necessity and most always, the luxuries she wanted. Her mother was Capitol Hillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first black female police officer and her father worked tirelessly for one of the regionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s largest grocery suppliers. Crystal grew up confident and strong, was well liked by her peers, but suffered silently behind the truths that took place behind the walls of her home. Love You More, Inc. was founded to help encourage women and teens to become resilient, empowered, and loving individuals. Using her story, Crystal admonishes women to choose themselves when it matters the most, and reminds them that no matter the battle, the journey of selflove is a powerful process and when walked intentionally, directs us to our destiny.

Website: www.loveyoumoreinc.com

Katrina Henderson is an author, artisan, speaker and Certified Christian Life Coach & Spirit Led HIScoach™. She is the owner of Unbreakable Memories which creates inspirational and motivational products that inspire, give more hope and encouragement. Katrina is a conqueror, pain releaser and the woman sent to inspire other women to find or rediscover their beautiful by reminding them that they are beautiful despite their circumstance. She inspires women through her speaking, coaching and products that they are worthy despite what they’ve been through. She reminds them that they are beautiful despite the pain, other people’s expectations and their mistakes. She encourages women to stop looking at their outward beauty and look towards the beauty within them that was created by God and accept themselves as the beautiful butterfly that they are! Thus, Get Back to Beautiful, a devotional to redefine what society calls beautiful.

Website: www.unbreakablememories.com

Jalynn Gray was born and raised in Maryland. She is a very loving and humble 18year-old high school senior at Bowie High School located in Bowie, MD. She has a heart of gold and desires to help other people enhance their lives. By sticking to the morals and values taught to her by her mother, Jalynn has been able to maintain a high GPA all but guaranteeing a bright future. In the fall, Jalynn will be attending Old Dominion University in Virginia to study exercise science. She plans on becoming an Athletic trainer for the NBA. As a victim of cyberbullying, Jalynn has proven that she is a strong, resilient, and persevering young lady ready to face whatever the world throws her way. She was able to handle a negative situation with such grace and poise and, as a result, has been able to serve as a great example for others who have suffered from similar situations.

Email: jalynngray123@gmail.com

Madisyn Clark is a student at Georgetown University studying Theater and Performance Studies with a certificate in Entrepreneurship. Madisyn is an artist of various disciplines. She is a talented visual artist, dancer, choreographer, creative writer, and is honing her skills in arts administration. Having struggled with self-esteem and mental health from an early age into her late teens, Madisyn actively seeks to help other women build their selfesteem and reach their fullpotential through her nonprofit organization Hey Beautiful Inc. Madisyn loves sharing her story with others regardless of her physical age of 20 years, her experiences could speak for a lifetime. She is a firm believer that the struggles we face in life are meant to connect us with one another and that using oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own personal struggles to aid another gives those struggles purpose beyond their pain. Madisyn is beyond honored to be able to share her work with you and hopes that it can be a blessing to someoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life!

Email: mdc133@georgetown.edu

Benita Henderson, a â&#x20AC;&#x153;closet writer for years, has devoted her life to her family. She is a proud wife, mother of four, and grandmother of ten. She has always believed that following your dreams is of the utmost importance, and she proved this when she received her Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration at the age of 50. Her newest feat becoming a published author has given her a newfound hope that she will be able to continue her mission of expressing her love for God through her writing. She considers herself to be an encourager to all. There is a silver lining behind every cloud. Aside from the importance of family and education, Benita also values honesty, love, peace, spirituality, and friendship. To know her is to love her. In her book "From the Depths of My Soul," Benita allows readers to take a glimpse into her life by sharing some of her innermost thoughts in journal-style snippets each complete with vulnerability and humility. Benita is sure to be a promising author as she succeeds at whatever she puts her mind to.

Email: mommy_girl_421@gmail.com

Marquita AntoineĂĄ was born and raised in Prince Georgeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s County, MD. She is a single mother of three beautiful children and a two-time published author. For the majority of her life, Marquita has enjoyed helping other people in whatever way she can. Alongside her brother, in 2012, she co-founded The Just Dream Foundation, Ltd., a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering children, teens, and young adults through mentoring and tutoring. Marquita has big dreams of owning her own literary agency one day where individuals will be able to learn creative writing skills and enhance story-telling capabilities. She has hopes of creating a platform for people everywhere to share their stories of strength and perseverance. Writing has always been a hobby for Marquita, but now she realizes that her writing is therapeutic and healing for both her and those around her. With this in mind, Marquita plans to continue writing for as long as she can.

Website: www.marquita-antoinea.com

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