LOVE YOU AARON SKYPE US. E M I LY K A T
d e i f i s s
a l c e D s ’ n o r a A Harlaxto n
survival guide
DEAR HARLAXTON STUDENT,
Your journey is just beginning. This semester, you will grow to be something you never thought possible. At Harlaxton College, dreams come true. This guide will provide all the necessary information for you to succeed. The definition of succeeding for the purpose of this guide is getting by while drunk. We feel it is our duty to pass on the wisdom we acquired while abroad. This way, you can avoid the mistakes we made and pave your own mistake-ridden path. Don’t be intimidated by your surroundings: You are Odysseus. Everyone else is a cyclops. Be clever and strong. And remember to watch out for those Sirens. Come home in one piece; we will be waiting for you. Love and miss you! Sincerely,
PACKING ESSENTIAL NONESSENTIALS– • House shoes to wear around the manor • Books to read in your free time • Hair products (the selection in Grantham is lacking) • Camera (to keep your phone battery high) • Only pack one heavy coat
• Don’t bring toiletries with you, buy them there • Bring more than one formal outfit • Make sure you have the makings of at least one costume, because there are a lot of shenanigans going on in that manor
TRIPS– • Always have a “weekender” bag packed with travel size toiletries and things to just grab on the go. • Check airport hours, don’t assume you can sleep there overnight. This also goes for train stations. • Don’t be afraid to split up if you are in a large group. It’s better than fighting. • Pack only one outfit when you are traveling, it does not matter if you wear the same thing every day. Mix and match those layers! • Plan early. You don’t wanna get to the end of the semester and find out you can’t go somewhere you really wanted to go.
• Check the weather. • Go to London more than once. • Have a blast.
DIRECTIONS This “treasure” could include things such as school supplies, hair dryers, ziploc bags, crafts, gummy vitamins, etc. It is imperative you get there before others have a chance to rummage through it. From the refectory: Box
Walk straight Pass the elevator and spiral staircase Turn right Turn left at the foot of the stairs Walk towards the red phone box Turn left On your left, under the staircase is treasure
SD O
P h on e
• • • • • • •
Front Door
Harlaxton Manor
Elevator
Lounge
Movies
Refectory
Vending Machines
Snooker Room
Ga te Bu nk er he
To T
Anyway, you are on your own for this noble quest, Odysseus. It is a true test of character (in re: our Blair Witch Project video).
Reflecting Pool
Conservatory
The Bunker is a fantastic place to throw alcohol bottles on the ground in fits of rage, pretend that you are in a horror movie and just hang out with friends. It is hidden amongst the spooky trees, per the Blair Witch’s dying wish (or is she still alive?????????).
Pegasus Court
It’s also a great place to smoke weed.
The Forest
ALCOHOL + PUBS The Goose –
The Black Dog –
Grantham, Lincolnshire England
S Vine
The Blue Pig Inn –
The Bistro –
ate stg We
G
dh uil
all
St.
Welby St.
The Goose
Poundland
Morrison’s Grocery Store
The Shuttle Lot
There is free hot chocolate down there. Bring your own Bailey’s or peppermint Schnapps. In general, it is a good idea to pre-game before going to the Bistro because the drinks are overpriced. The best place to keep your pregaming alcohol is in a suitcase. They never found ours. But dispose of the bottles at the bunker (via smashing) or in town.
Hooligan Alley
This is the home of Old Rosie. She is a spicy broad, but she’ll never do ya wrong. I like to call her Hot Ham Water, because that’s what she tastes like. But it only takes one to knock me out. She is cheap and easy, like all cider should be. Also, the chili cheese fries are really good when you are drunk. The Blue Pig is a small establishment, very cozy; it lends itself to exclusivity very well. And nothing makes refectory food taste better than going to The Blue Pig before dinner.
t.
High St.
There is good pub trivia here. That’s it.
High St.
It’s the place in town where everyone goes. It’s the hip pub. My only advice is make friends with the bartenders, and if you have to pee, GO HERE, because wherever you end up later will not have bathrooms as clean as The Goose. Even though they sound gross, try all the bombs there. Especially the glitter bomb. Harlaxton is the one place drinking Red Bull and alcohol together is acceptable. All in all, you will find a pub in every city that is exactly like The Goose, so explore The Black Dog The Blue Pig Grantham.
RULES OF THE MANOR 1. Go to campus events, they are stupid and fun. 2. Drink before all campus events, they water down the wine. 3. Go outside for the first snow, you will slowly start to hate it. 4. Don’t bother with drying your clothes in the dryer, it’s a waste of money. 5. Always bring every ID you have with you. 6. Make friends with the professors. 7. Make friends with the security guards and Ziggy. 8. Learn how to open the door to the shuttle without Ziggy’s help. 9. Go to The Gregory at least once. Get the bangers and mash. 10. Don’t puke anywhere. Ever. 11. Don’t be afraid to steal refectory dishes and utensils. 12. If they try to implement Meatless Monday, fight it. 13. Be careful about the water from the sink, it gets hot. 14. Never miss a Sunday night roast, it’s the best food you’ll get. 15. Take walks by yourself around the grounds. 16. If you get put in the Carriage House, SWITCH. 17. Go to the farmer’s market on Saturday mornings. Emily swears by the breakfast sandwiches there. There is also fresh fruit. 18. Go to high tea on Saturday mornings at Notion’s Antiques. 19. Don’t get caught with alcohol.
HAR LAX TON LEARNING TOGETHER