The M.J. Chronicles
A celebration of the first feisty half-century of Mary Julia (Burns) Vosburg W R I T T E N B Y T H E P E O P L E W H O L OV E H E R
A particularly large thank-you note A year before MJ’s fiftieth birthday, her friends started pondering how to celebrate her first half-century.What does Mary Julia Vosburg value most? The answer was easy — the people in her life. Zach, Emma and Joel, certainly; don’t stand between a mother bear and her cubs, or between MJVosburg and the well-being of her family. But she also treasures her siblings and parents, friends and associates, and the extended family of her community, young and old. While some people primarily collect belongings or seek experiences or cultivate gardens, MJ seeks, collects and cultivates relationships. So what MJ gets for her fiftieth birthday is a book written by just a few of the people whose lives she has touched. This collection of letters, memories, photos and stories carries fifty years of affection for MJ. The writings represent the gems that she has given to the people in her life: love, time, care, sisterly torment, advice, elbow grease, laughter, wisdom, the occasional sneaky prank…. So this is less a book than a particularly large thank-you note. Thank you, MJ, for being a feisty, funny, principled, savvy, caring, energetic and everevolving force for love in our lives and in the world. YO U R
F R I E N D S A N D F A M I LY
One from the heart Dear Mom, I love you so much.There’s no way to describe how much you mean to me.You are always there for me — as my friend, my parent, someone who can give me honest advice.You can be so goofy and fun, but you’re always serious when I need you to be. Thank you for making it your number one priority to be my mom. I always know you’ll stop whatever you’re doing — school board work or spending time with your friends or whatever — if I need you. I’m proud of the person I’ve become, and you’ve made me who I am. If I have a goal, you’re always there with me, supporting and encouraging.You let me be who I am. You’d give up everything for me. It’s incredible all that you do for me. Compared to most other people, we don’t have a normal mother-daughter relationship.You’re more like my best friend. I can tell you anything without worrying about how you’ll react.You treat me with respect, like another adult, and we have great talks. It’s strange that you’re turning 50, because you seem so young to me, so full of fun, like my 17-year-old friends.We have such a good time together. At least your 50th birthday gives me an excuse to tell you how much you mean to me. I
L OV E YO U,
EMMA
The gift of “You can do it” Mom, Many people see you in many different lights.You are an amazing and dedicated friend, a selfless school board president, second only to Dad as a Titan booster and fan, but most importantly for me, you are the most supportive mother I could ask for. Of course you are always there for me and provide the best for Emma and me. It doesn’t matter what we are doing.You always take an interest. All of that said, there is one statement, above all, that describes your attitude in raising me. “You can do it.” If I was stressed out about a test that I just didn’t understand, you would sit down to help me study and say,“You can do it.” Halfway through a brutal track season with a pulled hammy and an utter lack of drive, you sent me to the physical therapist and said,“You can do it.”These are only a few examples.Your support was constant and unwavering. However, there are two occasions that stand out most in my mind because of what they have allowed me to do. Toward the end of my senior year, both Duke and Georgetown had just rejected me. I felt like shit. I had worked my ass off for years just to have what I thought were my dreams obliterated like that rejection letter poked through a paper shredder.You and Dad sat down in my room to talk to me. I was pretty hard headed and had a total defeatist attitude.After a lot of yelling and screaming on my part, in the end you guys convinced me that my future and my accomplishments were not at all summed up by the name of the school I would go to.
So I felt better about that, but there was another decision to be made.Where the hell was I going to go to school? Of course, I had great scholarships at DU and Marquette, but I wanted to go to GW, the most expensive school in the country. I remember what you said to me like it was yesterday. “Zach, the experiences you are going to have, the people you are going to meet, and the possibilities you will be exposed to are so much more… YOU in Washington.That is what I want for you. Don’t think about anything else.We will make it work. No matter what, we will make it work.” And look where I am now. I love GW more than I ever could have imagined, and it is all because you and Dad supported me and made it work.Although it didn’t hurt that I got some scholarship money, cough cough.You were right; the opportunities were on every corner. This brings me to where I sit right now. Sitting at a desk on the ninth floor of 383 Madison Avenue working in one of the best financial internships in the world.When I told you that I got the job, you were so excited for me — even though I called Dad first, and it meant you would hardly see me this summer.You sounded so proud and I was, too. However, right before I left for NewYork I felt something that I have never felt before. I was scared. I even had some preemptive homesickness.You talked to me and convinced me that I was about to be in my element and I was going to have the time of my life. You were right yet again. I have loved every second of living and working in NewYork. “You can do it.” As simple as those four words sound, they have been anything but ordinary in what they have allowed me to experience and accomplish. Every time I have reached a fork in the road, you have been there to assure me that my path was the right one and that I could succeed. I would not be where I am without you.You are my rock, Mom. It doesn’t matter what it is. I can lean on you and you are always there.Thank you so much. I
L O V E Y O U M O R E T H A N Y O U W I L L E V E R K N O W,
ZACH
A match made on the basketball court A
B R I E F I N T E RV I E W W I T H
J O E L VO S BU R G
How did you and MJ meet? At the University of Denver MJ and I both worked as intramural referees, so we met through our jobs.There was that camaraderie after a long day of hard work. Once, after an all-day basketball tournament, we had a little down time and I gave her a little massage. MJ was easy to get to know, open, carefree, comfortable with both guys and girls. You knew she was interested in being your friend.We had a lot of common friends — like Tammy and Scottie Wolf. It was part of those wild and crazy college days. I was attracted to MJ for her sense of humor. She was fun and relaxed, a great buddy and friend. And she could hold her own with the guys. She’s obviously not a timid person; I always knew she could take care of herself. But she was also able to form relationships and grow into them, to make commitments. I liked the fact that she was so close to her family. How did you decide you wanted to marry her? It was a long time coming.We split up “forever” in Denver. I wasn’t ready to commit. I was sort of a lost soul, and MJ was on track, very focused on what she was doing at Shalom House. I moved to Crested Butte, but after a winter of being away, I realized how much I was missing by being away from MJ. I went back to Denver and asked her — begged her — to come up to Crested Butte with me. It took a little convincing, but I think she realized we were meant to be together.
We were living in a dump of a place in Lost Canyon — a mouse-infested cabin beside a barn with chickens and pigs. I’d put out mousetraps and we’d hear “snap, snap, snap” as the mice came around; we’d have to change them again before we went to bed. It’s good to live through times like that; it draws you closer. When we came back together, I knew I was ready to move to the next stage. I’d never been willing to commit, but I realized it was time for us to plan our life together. Did you “officially” propose? How did MJ react? What about the wedding? I definitely proposed. I had it all planned out in my head.We were in bed one night, talking and hanging out. I told her a little story I’d composed, about some married couple, and ended it with,“We were meant to be together.” It was actually pretty creative. She definitely teared up. It was a great moment. We got married the following May in Nashville, in a little chapel on theVanderbilt campus. Because of our family situations, we pretty much paid for the whole thing. That’s another thing that attracted me to MJ. We were from similar backgrounds financially. From our struggles as young kids, we’d had to fend for ourselves and become pretty independent.We both took financial responsibility for ourselves. From the beginning, we were a team; we were in this together. It was a partnership, and we valued each other’s contribution to that, whether we were working or not. What are some other momentous times of your lives together? Obviously the births of Zach and Emma.Those were huge moments in our lives.We were partners in parenting, too, doing Lamaze classes, reading the books, the whole process. I got to deliver Zach, with Dr. John Armstrong; that was really amazing.Then I spent a year taking care of Zach, after I quit working for food and beverage at CBMR.
I got to see parenting from the other side — being responsible for your child every moment of every day, and the bond that creates with your kid. It also made me appreciate the level of commitment that parenting requires. Having Emma was interesting. Her birth was a C-section, with all the blood and guts.We both knew the baby was going to be a boy; the signs all pointed to that. So it was amazing to have this little girl.With a boy and a girl, our family felt complete. How do you think MJ has changed over the decades you’ve known her? She’s definitely grown. She’s strong willed, but she has become more open and nurturing. She gets closer to people and shows her vulnerable side. Through having kids and maybe through seeing some relationships not work out, she’s learned to let people in more, and to let them be themselves, without trying to change them. She’s more accepting of people as they are, more forgiving. What do you most admire about your wife? What do you wish for your future with her? I most admire MJ’s commitment to her relationships and family. We’re at that point where we can wonder how our lives will evolve when Zach and Emma are both gone. I look forward to doing more things together. In the early days we spent a lot of time together, walking through town, having long talks.We were our own entertainment, just the two of us being together. For years we’ve put our kids ahead of our individual wants and needs. As the kids leave, I want to be able to hike and do more things together, have long talks like we did when we were young.We’ll be back to that original partnership.
Lessons from MJ for the rest of the world Don’t hide. Connect. Care. Show it. Work for what you believe in. Take care of the people you love. Play. Laugh. Try new things. Pay attention. See deeper, below the surface. Grow. Reach, stretch, challenge yourself. Cry when you need to. Nix the “can’ts” and “have tos.” Choose and honor your choice. Live the Serenity Prayer. If you can, change what you don’t like. If you can’t change it (heaven forbid), then hike fast, vent vigorously and try like crazy to accept.
From the Burns family story collection Martin and Jane Burns were “absolutely delighted” when their fourth child — and first daughter — was born.And they’re equally delighted that in the decades since that daughter left home, she has scarcely missed a week of calling them. “We don’t get to see Mary Julia as much as we’d like, but we’re always in touch,” Martin said. From toddlerhood, Mary Julia Burns was an outspoken ball of fire.“You don’t have to wonder where Mary Julia stands.You never did,” Martin said. Jane and Martin tell the oft-repeated story of their triumphant return from a New York trip a few decades ago, bearing gifts for their young children. Little Mary Julia’s gaze went from the cool helmets they gave her brothers to the darling shoes they’d brought for her. “She wouldn’t even put those shoes on,” her dad recalled with a chuckle.“She just wanted a helmet. I think Jane’s feelings are still hurt.” When their passel of kids was young, Jane remembered, Mary Julia “thought she was Queen Bee of those boys. And she was. She ruled the roost. She always seemed to be the leader. She was always one step ahead of everybody else.” Mary Julia avoided the girly clothes her mom favored; they didn’t fit her role as tomboy, athlete and ringleader. “She was the most independent little girl I’ve ever seen,” Jane said. “She always wanted to do it herself.” Only two things did Mary Julia not want to do herself: sew and bake. Jane has one theory about her daughter’s aversion to sewing. One day young Mary Julia came home from school for a quick lunch break, and she needed a button sewn back on her shirt. Since Jane was busy with a project that had to be finished quickly, she told Mary Julia
to sew the button on by herself and gave her the needle and thread. Mary Julia set to the task in earnest, then proudly finished and got up to show off her handiwork. Oops. She had sewn the button onto the shirt, but had inadvertently sewn both button and shirt to her own lap.“She grabbed the scissors, cut off that button and said to me,‘Don’t you ever tell me to sew anything again.’ And I don’t think she’s sewed anything since then,” Jane said. No one in the family escaped Mary Julia’s mischievousness. Jane recalls the day Frank and Mary Julia, who were very close as youngsters, found a snake near the creek that ran through their neighborhood. They both knew their mom had no use for reptiles, but they put the snake in a water jug and left it in the garage. “I went out there and found that thing and I liked to have had a fit,” Jane said. “I couldn’t get back in the house fast enough. I told Frank,‘You get out there and get rid of that thing.’ Mary Julia sat there and died laughing.” At school at Father Ryan, Mary Julia slipped easily into a leadership role, getting involved in so many activities and causes. As steadfast as her outspokenness was her sense of right and wrong.“She has always been concerned that people do the right thing,” Martin said.“Even in grade school, she and the principal were close, but she’d get on him something fierce if she felt like somebody was doing something wrong.” Her standards, forthrightness and determination have served Mary Julia well in her adulthood. Her parents revel in her successes, as a parent, professional and school board president.And, of course, they delight in their sweet and accomplished grandkids, Zach and Emma. Because Mary Julia has stayed in good touch, they feel close to their extended family even from more than a thousand miles away. “I’m so thrilled by the way Mary Julia has grown up,” Jane said.“I admire her ability
to find out what she wants to know and her ability to get things done — quickly, like my mother. I named her correctly; she’s like her grandmother JuJu. My mother could have things done ten times faster than anybody else. So can Mary Julia.” Martin also expressed his pride in his feisty and principled daughter. “Mary Julia’s had her father wrapped around her little finger all her life,” Jane said.
A mother’s memories: a talent for mischief BY MOTHER,
TRANSCRIBED BY
STEPHEN
Early signs of her gift for gab. Before Mary Julia was one year old, we went to visit Martin’s sister in St. Joseph, Michigan. We fixed a bed in the back of the station wagon for the boys and had Mary Julia in the car seat in front. She didn’t like the car seat, so I took her out and thought she’d go to sleep lying next to me. But she never went to sleep, because she talked all night long to her Daddy. Even I went to sleep a little bit, but she talked and talked and talked for nine hours until we got to St. Joseph. Tangling with the lipstick. When Mary Julia was about 2 1/2 years old, we put her to bed and the boys to bed in their room. At about 8:30 we went in to see if
everything was all right, and the boys were in their beds but Mary Julia wasn’t in hers. We thought she might have gone in our room, but we didn’t find her there.We went to the garage. She wasn’t in the garage or attic or car. So we came in to see if she might be hiding in the boys’ room or in our closet. When we went back in our room we realized the bathroom door was closed. When we opened the door, there stood little Mary Julia with her back to us, rubbing the top of the commode seat as hard as she could, with my lipstick all over her. She was trying to get the lipstick off her hands. It was all over her face, hands and arms, and the commode top was covered with red lipstick.We rubbed it off as best we could for days, but she still had red all over her face and hands.And we finally had to change the commode seat. The difference between boys and girls. Come June 1st we took Mary Julia and the boys to get new tennis shoes for the summer. She was so excited with her new red tennis shoes. She went outside and got on the swing set. In a few minutes she ran in the back door into the utility room to use the bathroom. She ran up to the commode and stood there. I was doing laundry and saw her standing in front of the commode.All of a sudden she looked down and then looked up at me, crying: “I ruined my new shoes! The boys don’t ruin their shoes! Why do I?” She had urinated standing in front of the commode, thinking she could be like the boys. I could not help but laugh, but she cried and cried about her shoes.And I said,“My dear, you’re not a little boy, and you don’t go to the bathroom the same as they do!” Luckily we were able to wash her shoes and get them good as new. Putting two and two together. When Mary Julia was in Father Ryan, she was put into Sister Mary Johns’ math class.The second day she stood up and said,“I would like to be excused from your class as I know you don’t want to teach girls.” She walked out and left the class and entered another class. She knew what she wanted, and most the time she got it.
Some brotherly love from Rhodes Rhodes was five years old when Mary Julia was born, so he didn’t quite fall under his sister’s rule.“But she told Frank every move to make, and everybody around Frank every move to make… and they did it,” he said. In looking through photos for this birthday book, Rhodes particularly searched for a shot he remembered from his sister’s junior year in high school. In it, Mary Julia has her long sleeves pushed up on her arms, a characteristic look and one that represented her attitude:“I’m ready to get to work.” His strong-willed younger sister, following a long line of Burns kids, made her own mark during her school years. At Christ the King, Rhodes recalled, a frustrated teacher let Jane Burns know that her daughter was “hell-bent and determined to have her own way.” On the other hand, Mary Julia inspired a very different reaction in biology teacher Nancy Patton. Ms. Patton had proclaimed to Rhodes and his classmates, during the days when Father Ryan was an all-boys school, that she loved teaching only boys “because at that age girls were the most horrible creatures on the face of the earth.”Years later, Rhodes ran into Nancy Patton, when Father Ryan had become co-ed and Mary Julia was one of her students.“She was excited to teach Mary Julia; she thought she was great. Mary Julia proved her wrong.” Rumors of a little intrigue surrounded Mary Julia’s foray into high school politics. At the end of her junior year, she ran for president of the student body. As Rhodes remembered the story, a friend’s cousin had been kicked out of Father Ryan for a drug problem.“Mary Julia campaigned on the idea that if we’re a Catholic school and we are supposed to live the ideals of Jesus Christ, we should have compassion for people with
problems and help them instead of kicking them out.” Supposedly Mary Julia lost the election by a couple of votes.“It has been said that Mary Julia actually won by a few votes but the faculty could not abide that position from a student,” Rhodes said. Of course some details of that story were related by a close relative, to remain unnamed, who has been known to exaggerate a wee bit. Interestingly, Rhodes noted, Father Ryan eventually became the first private school in the area to send students to treatment instead of expelling them, a policy that has been copied by other schools. Now that she has grown up and her feistiness has been tempered by age and wisdom, Rhodes still admires Mary Julia’s “courageousness.” “She’ll tell you exactly what she’s thinking, she stands up for herself and for what’s right, and she doesn’t tolerate bullshit from anybody,” he said. In passing on his birthday wishes, Rhodes said, “In my experience, there is life after 50. But don’t believe what they say. It’s not the new 30.”
A brother’s memory: It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s…Frank? BY STEPHEN Once when we were young, I went out to the garage of the house on Salem. Mary Julia and Frank were playing on the steps going up to the attic. I asked them what they were doing and they said,“Frank was flying!” I said,“You’re crazy!” “No, he really did,” they said. “He flew about five or six feet. He’s trying to do it again.” I didn’t know what to think.When you’re young like that, you’re easy to convince. Needless to say, they could not replicate the flight, but I’ll bet you if you asked them today if it were true, they would swear he flew. Happy birthday, Mary Julia! We love you.
From Frank the co-conspirator Frank, born two years after Mary Julia, was her closest childhood co-conspirator. So he has a bottomless store of young Mary Julia memories. Like the time in the early grade-school years when Frank, Mary Julia and friends Ed and Jenny decided to try out this kissing thing for the first time.“We went in a dark shed behind the house. Jenny kissed me and Mary Julia kissed Ed,” Frank recounted.That task completed, they moved on to other diversions for a few years before kissing made its comeback on the list of sought-after recreations. Then there was the time Frank, Mary Julia and Steven Cole were walking in the creek when Steven suddenly motioned for them to stop in mid-stride. There, almost right under Mary Julia’s feet, lay a curled-up snake, ready to strike. “I’ll never forget the look on her face,” Frank said.“She jumped ten feet and didn’t stop running till she got home. I know because I was right behind her.” Ever in charge, Mary Julia was both a gift and a torment to her younger brother. “We loved each other,” he said.“She always looked out for me, and I looked out for her. When we got a little older, she’d make sure I knew what was cool and what wasn’t.” But, he continued, “She was always full of it. During the teenage years she had a special talent for picking out what bothered me most and harping on it. She’d give me heck about girls, and sometimes she’d give me a hard time because I needed it. She hasn’t changed one damned bit in that way, though maybe she’s mellowed a little.” One of the best things about their escapades was the humor Mary Julia brought to them, Frank said. “She was very funny. She was at her best behind the microphone roaming around the gym floor during a pep rally as part of a Mighty Irish Art Players skit. She’d have the whole student body rolling. She was hilarious.”
Sometimes Mary Julia’s sense of humor expressed itself in the form of pranks, like the high school days when she hid in the bathroom closet when Frank was taking a shower.“She was always doing shit like that to me.”When Frank tried to get her back many years later by walking in on her taking a shower,“it didn’t even faze her,” he said.“For a girl, she’s sure got some balls.” As they’ve grown into adulthood, Frank has come to value Mary Julia in a different way. “Throughout our lives, I’ve always trusted and valued her opinion,” he said.“We talk about a lot of things — family, problems, dreams, children. She’s always got a healthy perspective for me; it’s always out of love.” Frank jokingly admitted that he’s still “sore” at his sister for going off to college.“I was mad when she left Tennessee. But now I’m really glad she made such good decisions. I’m happy for her, proud that she followed her path, stuck with it and endured. She followed her dream and made a good life.And she learned that family was important to her and stayed connected. “I still feel that closeness even though we’re thousands of miles apart,” he said.“She’s the closest person I can go to. I can share my life with her and she’ll understand. I value that... even though she’s getting so old.”
Sibling torture, love and unfolding wisdom M A RY J U L I A S T O R I E S
BY
JANE ELIZABETH
I’ve always called my older sister “Mary Julia.”While I think “MJ” fits her well, it’s hard to change a name you’ve known since birth, especially when you are from the south. Southern families love the double-name thing and ours is no exception.While the “Mary” part doesn’t really fit her personality, the “Julia” is a total reflection of the person it came from: our grandmother “JuJu.” Like JuJu, Mary Julia is full of fun, hard work and a fast tongue ready to let you know what she is thinking. I was born long after my first five siblings. Mary Julia (the fourth of the Burns Bunch) is eight years older than I am, so we didn’t really play together very much.You might think she was more like a mother to me, but I wouldn’t quite describe it that way. She loved me for sure, but she also loved to tease me. Even though we had four brothers, she was the one who was toughest on me. Maybe it was because the boys were so rough with her and she wanted to make sure I was tough, too. Her torture prepared me well for real life. Mary Julia would pinch me so hard in church that tears would stream down my face, but since I was well trained in Catholic obedience I never uttered a sound. I sat there quietly and took it. I think it was a great preparation for natural childbirth. So see, she was really doing what was best for me. One night just before she was about to leave for college, Mary Julia was having a serious talk with Mom. I’m not sure where Dad and our brothers were, but for some reason it was only the three of us at home. It was late and I was ten years old so I was supposed to be in bed. I was whining about being scared and not wanting to sleep alone, and Mary Julia was quite frustrated and told me not to be such a baby and just go to sleep.
Eventually I did.Then, the next night, I was sleeping soundly in my bed. Mary Julia came into my room, picked me up and carried me into her room. I woke up enough to realize what was happening, but I didn’t care and was happy to be sharing a bed with my big sister. It wasn’t until the next morning that I learned she had been to see “Jaws” that night.What a big baby! Scared of sharks in her bed! Now she is a well-seasoned scuba diver. Go figure. But I loved her so much anyway back then. She had a soft side.The side that loved to cuddle with me and make me laugh.The side that would take me for a drive with my friends and make the car swerve from side to side so we would slide around on the vinyl seats and go fast over the hills to make us feel like we were riding a roller coaster. The side that would scoop up my tears on her finger, then lick them off and make a funny face to make me smile.The side that let me tag along on some of her teenage shenanigans and let me in on some of her practical jokes. In 1976 Mary Julia went off to college. I missed her so much. I craved vacations when she would come home.We didn’t spend much time together, but the times we did share were always wonderful and fun.We realized that we shared the same sense of humor and many attitudes about life. I always knew that she was on my side. Then I grew up and went off to college. Of course, we kept in touch to know the basics of what was going on in each other’s lives. By that time, Mary Julia and Joel got married and were building quite a fun life together in Crested Butte. Zach was born and changed their lives. I was so excited and it was amazing to watch them become the wonderful parents they are. And then little Miss Emma came and gave us all a surprise. Mary Julia raising a girl with pink ruffles and tutus? No, of course not. Emma was all the tomboy Mary Julia ever was, only much sweeter without a little sister to torment.That little girl changed their lives again, and Mary Julia shocked me when she ditched her job to become a full-time mom. I didn’t see that one coming at all. I always pictured Mary Julia as a businesswoman ready to negotiate with the best of
them. But it all makes sense now… the ability for her to foresee exactly the type of family she and Joel wanted to have and to watch it all unfold so wonderfully: Zach and Emma growing up in such an amazing little world that Crested Butte is. Zach becoming such a well-rounded young man building his future and Emma maturing into a beautiful young woman with a love for competition and an instinct for being a team leader. They’ve created many great memories over the years with their close friends and priority for taking time to travel and experience new places each year. Somewhere during all this time,Mary Julia and I became extraordinarily close.We went from being sisters eight years apart to being sisters that understand every aspect of each other’s lives… or as much as possible to share considering we live 2,000 miles apart. She is the one I want to call anytime something goes right or wrong. She is also the person I want to call when I’m bored or to share the most insignificant highlight of my day. She is the person who came out for a week as soon as Kyle and Peter were born without even thinking twice about whether she should or shouldn’t come.We talk forever on the phone.Ask our husbands.Ask our kids. If I have a phone to my ear, Peter will say to me,“Can I talk to MJ?” So what do I say to my sister on her 50th birthday? I guess I want to say that she has a lot to be thankful for… but she knows that and she is thankful for it. She knows how blessed her life has been. But she might not know how much she has blessed those around her with her spirit, her wit, her vigor, her involvement… and sometimes overinvolvement. Anyone who knows Mary Julia knows that she loves to dole out advice. While her advice always had the best of intentions, it has gotten her into trouble in the past (remember the fast tongue I mentioned earlier). But, she has gotten much wiser about this in her “old age.” She has much to be proud of over her life so far, and she just might totally perfect herself over the next 50 years. Happy Birthday, Mary Julia. I love you and hope we have as much fun being sisters in our old age as we have so far.
Poems for Aunt MJ F RO M K Y L E ( A G E 5 ) I know the deep water is so deep I would want to scuba dive too But I just want to swim with a snorkel in the water I want you to swim with me Let’s go swimming. Have a happy birthday I hope you are really silly Save your really good wishes And share them with me My mommy told me about JuJu I love that you are one of my aunts So put on a birthday hat And let’s do a birthday dance.
The Anselmo bachelor-party caper B Y TA M M Y B U R D E N I think the story I want to share from my many wild times with MJ is the story of our BEST PRACTICAL JOKE EVER. It is probably the one I still retell the most. It was 1979 and my brother, Terry, was getting married to his fiancée Michele in Nebraska.A couple of weeks before the wedding, he held his bachelor party at a small tavern in Anselmo, Nebraska. MJ and I decided it was worthy of a road trip in the trusty powder blue Squire Pinto station wagon with simulated wood-grain siding. So we packed up the Pinto in Denver, bought the road beers and took off for the Sandhills to crash the party. Not much to do when driving across Nebraska….so the plan was hatched for the BEST PRACTICAL JOKE EVER. I will add at this time that Terry had known MJ for years, and they were good friends. We arrived in the booming metropolis of Anselmo (pop. 700) late that night in fine form (if ya know what I mean…).We peeked in the front window of the bar and saw maybe 20 men sitting around a big table in the middle of the room. They had been playing poker, but were just sitting there enjoying their beers at the moment. Everything
appeared calm. I waited outside out of sight. MJ then burst through the door, feigning hysteria. She wildly looked around the bar and set her sights on Terry. In a thick Tennessee accent, she yelled,“Terry McMillan!!!! How could you DO this to me?!!!! I love you!!!! We have a BABY together!!!! What about our child?!!!!” She then ran across the room, jumped on Terry’s lap and started wailing in agony. She threw her arms around his neck, jumped on his lap and proceeded to blubber on.“HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO OUR BABY!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!! I thought you loved ME!!!! How can you marry someone else?!!!!” On and on, as loudly as possible. Terry, God bless him, just sat there mumbling something intelligent like,“Well…you know…” Ya gotta give him credit for playing along, because the place was in a state of total shock.Ya could have heard a mouse fart had MJ not been wailing so loudly. I mentioned I was peeking in the window from outside. Now remember that none of Terry’s friends had ever laid eyes on MJ.They knew Terry as a salt-of-the-earth honest guy who had been in their tiny town forever. Michele was the hometown good girl, and of course they were getting married. Folks had known them both forever. Well, let me tell you… I watched the reaction through the window.Their mouths literally dropped open.You’ve read about it.You’ve heard about it. Well, it actually is true.Twenty cowboys with their jaws hitting the beer-soaked table. It was something to see.They could not believe their eyes. Nothing like this had ever happened in the Sandhills before! I let the scene play out till I thought someone was going to take out a twenty-two and shoot MJ (or Terry) to protect Michele’s honor, and then I sauntered in the door.They all knew me, so the jig was up.Terry was laughing so hard by this point. He loved it. I’ve heard the story from others since then, and I know they are still talking about it to this day. We were wild back then….
Tears and giggles BY DEEDRA “BOOFER LIPS” SCHNAITTER I first met MJ when I was hired as a front desk clerk for Solutions in 1984. I can’t believe that was 24 years ago! Actually, my first encounter with MJ was over the phone, when I was working up at Columbine. I had missed most of the pre-season training, so I was winging it, more or less. MJ had called up to Columbine to see how I would handle a reservation call. It was a test! If Columbine didn’t have availability, would I just say,“Thanks for calling”, or would I refer them to another Solutions property? Oh, dear! I failed miserably, and she didn’t sound too happy, either! “Hmm, I wonder who this MJ person is. She sounds kind of gruff! I hope she doesn’t make me cry — I’m so sensitive!” Well, she did make me cry once or twice (and laugh a gazillion times), but it turns out MJ was quite a character and she became an exceptional friend, who took me under her wing and had an ever-lasting influence on my life. I worked with MJ at Solutions for three or four years, and over those years, not only did she tease me about my “boofer” lips and anything else she could think of, she also took a sincere interest in my future and helped me to believe in myself, so I could further my career in the hospitality/ski industry. MJ played a major role in preparing me for the job I had with CBMR, which lasted 13 LONG years.When I was thinking about moving on to something else, she told me the most important thing… that I had a hard time believing at the time, but which turned out to be absolutely true… “There is life after CBMR!” At Solutions, MJ was not only the director of sales and marketing, but she was also our therapist/counselor.There was a constant stream of crisis situations going on in that
office! I don’t think a week went by without one of us going through some sort of lifealtering crisis, and MJ was always available to offer a shoulder to cry on, sympathetic advice and then some more advice. I can’t help but mention all the memories at MJ and Joel’s house on Paradise Road: potlucks and 4th of July breakfasts, cows on the lawn, a lost wedding ring, some Okie tracking in mud on newly cleaned carpets (oh, that was me), countless giggles and laughs, and a room for me to stay in while homeless. MJ also honored me by being my maid of honor, helped so much with the wedding preparation, planned a bachelorette camp-out, and even calmed my nerves beforehand with champagne! Nowadays, MJ and I may only see each other every so often, but the connection remains strong! MJ will always be “one who will pick you up when you are down. If she cannot pick you up, she will lie down beside you and listen.”
To a dear friend and underwater buddy It is almost impossible to describe in just a few words the significance of a close and meaningful relationship that has been evolving and growing for over 20 years.You and I have known one another since our sons, Peter and Zach, were toddlers running around naked in Ronnie Ruggera’s back yard. I think the one event that brought us together as adult friends was scuba diving.We took dive lessons together at WSC 15 years ago. I was never very comfortable in the pool, let alone below the sea! You were always very capable and I was so envious that you mastered buoyancy far better than I and could blow the biggest water rings! We are great underwater buddies, as we always have more “air” (hot air??) than our husbands, which enables us to stay “down under” so much longer searching for the ever-elusive odd-shaped bottom dweller! Since then, we have enjoyed many dive vacations, and I have such wonderful memories of our travels together… all the jokes over my “panic dives,” Catch Phrase with the kids under the palapas, margaritas and pina coladas on the beach at sunset, endless hours of “beach bolleyboll,” searching for sea horses in Bonaire, sex-crazed dolphins in Honduras, Rasta-guided Piton hikes in St. Lucia.And watching our children go from skinny, goofy, water-splashing, strawberry daiquiri (no alcohol) drinking kids together, to buff, beautiful, hair-swinging, nonchalant striding, too cool to splash, daiquiri-drinking teens together! Our families have become as true extended family members. We have enjoyed watching one another’s children through t-ball, dance lessons, ski racing, soccer, basketball, track, scuba lessons, cross-country, graduations, college applications, girlfriends, boyfriends, weddings, moves away from home, and all the joys and dramas, failures and successes that go along with life’s journey. We have
shared holidays, birthdays and anniversaries with one another. I know that I can always count on you, MJ, when I need a shoulder to whine on or just a sympathetic ear to listen to my current worry. In fact, you have often been so tuned in to my moods that most times you will invite me out for a walk or cup of coffee, just to “chat” because you sense something is not quite right. I am so grateful for your sensitivity, your honesty and sense of humor! I especially look forward to our TGIF winter afternoons at the Princess, where we can connect and catch up on our personal lives. In the summer, we call this experience “hiking”!
What a treat to have hours of wonderful conversations, laughs and tears, solving all the world’s problems and all the while exercising in the great and beautiful mountains! We are so great at multi-tasking! I admire you, MJ, for your devotion to your family, friends and community.You truly care about people and work tirelessly to promote what is best for your children as well as all of our children.Your heart is bigger than your body (or at least longer than your legs), and you have always shown great kindness and generosity to my family. My children love and respect you, as do Michael and I.Your honesty and integrity have made me a better person. I am hopeful that we will continue to share our lives, our children, our hopes, our dreams and our retirement! Most of all, I look forward to many vacations spent together shuffling along the white sands of some Caribbean island wearing our flowered, skirted bathing suits, huge floppy straw hats and carrying our patent leather pocketbooks!! Happy 50th… finally we’re in the same decade! I
L OV E YO U,
CONNIE P.S. I didn’t write this, but I’m glad that someone else did because it says what I want to say about you, my friend, and what our friendship means to me: “Thank you, friend. I never came to you and went away without some new enrichment of the heart; less doubt, more courage in the days ahead. And often in great need coming to you, I went away comforted indeed. How can I find the shining word, the glowing phrase that tells all that your friendship has meant to me? There is no word, no phrase for you on whom I so depend.All I can say to you is this, God bless you, dear friend.”
JuJu II: thongs and tool belts, spunk and spirit B Y S A N DY F A I L S When I conjure a mental snapshot of MJ, she has a big mischievous grin on her face. Maybe she has just hidden under the bed to scare one of Zach’s sleep-over buddies during the middle school era. In the MJ Book of Equivalencies, a good prank has got to score life-satisfaction points right up there with a victorious school-district bond vote. What I admire about MJ is that her sense of mischief and fun is balanced by all these other aspects of her life. She’s a force for good in the world, a woman who thinks, watches and acts with mind, heart and that famous will. Here are some other things I admire about MJ: She knows a lot… and she’s making up less and less of it every day. She’s a woman of action. She makes things happen. She probably wouldn’t have an earring stuck in her bathroom sink for 18 months. She has a strong sense of values: being honest, working hard when necessary, staying true to beliefs, keeping promises, trying to be fair, reaching for high standards. MJ honors and nurtures her relationships more intensely than anyone I’ve ever met. She loves Zach and Emma to the core, balancing her urge to protect and care for them with the equal need to give them room to grow. She’s the most loyal, constant, indestructible friend in the world, a steel beam of a friend, built to withstand floods, hurricanes and severe drought.
She has compassion, patience and caring for the hurts of her friends and family. How many people have leaned on those shoulders? She generously gives her time, money, elbow grease and heart to the people in her life. She’s a savvy thinker, observer and problem solver, both practical and creative. As hard as she can work, MJ knows how to play. A game, a joke, a vacation, a wisecrack… she’s good at adding the spice of playfulness to the lives of people around her. Even when she’s struggling with a tough, serious issue, MJ can almost always yank out her sense of humor and find a way to laugh, poke fun and lighten the load. Let’s talk diversity here. MJ Vosburg has been known to wear a tool belt — and thong underwear. She can peel a log, and she can advise which of theVictoria’s Secret bras will perform the proper miracles. She can lift the monster weights in the gym while solving the world’s problems, do the laundry, sell a dozen ads, converse with 15 people on the phone, bring civility to a school board meeting, talk a daughter through a prom crisis, and still have a bodacious from-scratch shrimp-pasta-veggie meal on the table by dinner time. As we get a little more mature, I can see MJ growing wiser. She doesn’t shy away from an internal challenge any more than she shies away from doing the Costa Rica zipline Superman-style. Need to tackle a spiritual or personal growth issue? Let her at it. I’ve seen MJ apply her trademark will power not only to earthly tasks but also to more ethereal ones: judging less, accepting more, finding deeper understanding and peace. As the decades march on, I can see MJ remaining a feisty, grinning, spunky woman, while growing ever more astute, calm and open. But her grandkids should probably still check under their beds when she’s in a mischievous mood.
La Famila Loyal community leader Awesome wife Friend Amazing daughter and sister Mother Influential Lovable Adventurous “La famila” is number one for you.An admirable place that you’ve chosen to pour your heart and energy into.You treasure your friendships, and hold dear each of your relationships.You desire your family and friends to be happy, and try (with the best of intentions) to orchestrate “happiness” into being. I love that! I have seen a huge growth in you.You are frequently allowing life to unfold (without your heart-felt help) and accepting other people’s choices. Bravo! I love how you can “make it happen” (e.g. Costa Rica trip).Your adventurous spirit is contagious.You are a living Nike commercial:“Just do it!” May your blessings continue to flow over the next fifty years. L OV E , JACKIE
A welcoming friend, a parenting role model BY TERESA RIJKS After 18 years in Germany I returned to Colorado with a husband and four children. Feeling like an outsider, I lacked experience as an adult in the American culture. I had a high schooler, middle schooler, elementary schooler, and preschooler. I also was entering life as a working mother instead of a stay-at-home mom. In Germany I had been active and involved. I had learned how their systems worked. I also had a group of mentors/friends. I was at a loss here in Crested Butte.Although I spoke the language, I did not understand the culture. I felt like a foreigner.
At this point I met MJ through the UCC Preschool. Immediately, I liked her forthright character.This was a woman I wanted to know. I do not remember when we started getting together for chats over breakfast or lunch. I do remember, though, her efforts to include me and my family in life here. When one is settled in a community, one can become comfortable and fail to notice the outsider coming in. I had been the foreigner breaking into life in Germany. Here in Crested Butte I was the stranger again.This time, though, I had a woman making the effort to draw me in and to help me through the adjustment. Christmas or New Year gatherings with family and friends. In Germany we had built up strong circles of friends. My children had been used to large gatherings. We discovered warmth and hospitality coming from the Vosburgs. Philosophical discussions followed. MJ opened my mind to seeing life here in new ways, to understanding the importance of the sports culture, to seeing the strengths and not just the weaknesses of our society. To me parenting is the greatest task we face. It affects the future of our society and of the world.Yet we have no book or training to prepare us for that role. Most of us simply struggle along as best we can, unaware of the importance of our daily actions. MJ embraces the role with gusto, bravado, and zeal. Besides guiding her own children, she nurtures parents and children in the valley. She does so in such a natural fashion that I doubt she realizes what a role model she is for those around her. Thank you, MJ, for bringing me into this community, for challenging me to think and to broaden my mind, for nurturing me and my family, and for providing hope for the future of this community and this world through your determination and sacrifice. Thank you also for the gift of your family. May your next 50 years be filled with reaping the benefits of all of the seeds you have sown.
The steering committee of the MJ Fan Club
L-I-B, M-R NOT 50 CANDLES, R M? S-M-R!!! B Y M ICHAEL G ARREN, INSPIRED TO WAX POETIC BY HIS ADMIRATION FOR
When I philosophize with my mentor MJ she always has so much to say. If I dare to disagree she winks back at me: “Let’s make this easy; just do it my way!” She is known for her love of Malbecs; like her, they are strong and complex. They age with such grace, with a warm firm embrace, counterpoint to those old Catholic prefects. There was a wee lass, Mary Julia, but don’t let her size ever fool ya. Though diminutive in size she’s gigantically wise, and at FIFTY can still flippin’ school ya!
MJ
If you have a great friend like our MJ there are so many things you can say — loyal, loving and kind with a thoughtful, bright mind, what a treasure to remember each day. There once was a diver named MJ who was walking along Kino Bay. When I heard her say @#it, I knew she’d been hit by that bugger they call Manta Ray. Now that MJ is fifty years old, there’s a story I wish to be told. Years ago with my life in debris, she stood steadfastly next to me. Such friends are more precious than gold.
Zest, imagination and service Happy 50th birthday, MJ! Thank you, thank you, thank you for working with us at Solutions, Inc., serving our homeowners and guests!Your zest for life and your ability to combine “serious thought” (hence the famous MJ eyebrow scrunching) with an almost slapstick vision of what could be, made working with you delightful, focused and productive.Your ability to solve problems in imaginative and creative ways came out when designing brochures, promoting Crested Butte and coming up with themes for the July 4th parade.You really know how to make “work” fun. It is a delight to see this same spirit applied to RE1J and to the Crested Butte Community School.Thank you for your dedication to the children and families of our communities through your service on school board. Once again your leadership abilities, especially the ability to anticipate the future and the effects of today’s decisions on the future, are a tremendous asset to our valley. Last but not least, thank you, MJ, for your friendship as we journey on together, living in one of the most beautiful places in the world. HAPPY
B I RT H D AY ,
M J, JOE
AND AND
G O D B L E S S YO U A N D B E V F I T Z PAT R I C K
Y O U R F A M I LY ,
The other MJ Mary Julia, do people even know what your M.J. stands for? Do you ever get asked, “How do you spell that?” or do they say,“MJ? Like Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson or Michael Jackson?” I sometimes get the line,“Oh, you’re the other MJ.” But my question is this: Am I the other MJ or are you? I have enjoyed the years of mistaken identity in our tiny town. Some great examples I recall are: Being told I look great after just having a baby… twice! Getting patted (or slapped) on the back for how well the kids are doing in sports.Thumbs up for getting elected to the School Board. Praise for such a well-done coffee table book, and “Gee, I didn’t know you were so close a friend to Sandy Fails!”All these wonderful compliments for your accomplishments. I always said,“Thank you so very much” and then, of course, added,“But it’s not me; it’s the other MJ!” One of my fav shared identity stories is when the four of us were out to dinner one night.A new real estate client of the guys came by the table. Joel introduced you,“This is my wife MJ,” and Charlie said,“This is my wife MJ,” and the client just laughed and said, “Yeah, right,” and walked away. We burst out laughing and wondered what he would have said had both our names been Nancy?? Tons of love to you on your 50th birthday! Go out and do all the things you always wanted to do — but you better hurry up cuz soon you will be 51… and then it will be too late!!! XXXOO M - J ( M A RY- J A N E ) F A R N A N
The Santa effect “If you want to get something done, get MJ involved,” is (more or less) what Sandy said at the first Where the Road Ends celebration and book signing. I’ll second that. I’ve had plenty of opportunities to experience your organization and “just do it” approach over the last five (or is it six… or six thousand???) years as we’ve worked “four hours a week?” or “eight hours a month?” on school board issues. (I wonder if Einstein was on a school board when he was developing his Theory of Relativity???) My favorite example, though, is the Christmas you inadvertently played Santa Claus for the Hausler family. As we staggered out of the Broadmoor after ten hours of state school board workshops, plenary sessions, legislative briefings and vendor pitches, you said,“Let’s go Christmas shopping,“ and I said,“Oh my God, Christmas! I haven’t given it a thought.” I’d barely registered Thanksgiving the week before.You, on the other hand, had a list already checked twice and annotated with store names and directions and shortcuts throughout Colorado Springs. Inspired by the twinkle-lit trees lining the Broadmoor boulevard, the carols echoing from speakers tucked amongst the juniper bushes and fat snowflakes drifting through the air, overwhelmed with holiday spirit all of a sudden, I said,“OK.You do your shopping, I’ll tag along to get some inspiration.” Well…you know the rest.That was the year Catherine got the same high-tech Chi hair straightener from Ulta that Emma got, Gary’s still sporting the same great-looking leather jacket that Joel got for his birthday, and though Zach ended up with a suit which was out of the question for Greg, my heavy-metal stepson in Boston, Greg did get a couple of great-looking all-black urban hip outfits in the deal. So, when I am zigzagging through the gray zone with a great idea I can’t quite figure out how to implement, I always wonder…WWMJD? H A P P Y B I RT H D AY ! A N N E H A U S L E R
From your dive buddies Congratulations, MJ, you have reached the GoldenYears! Sparrow and I wanted to send our thoughts and prayers to you on this very special day, celebrating the day that you were born FIFTYYEARS ago, HA-HA. Now in all seriousness, we want to thank you for all that you have done for the two of us over the last many years.You and your family have been such great friends to us and true blessings in our lives.Thank you so much.We look forward to our next dive vacation with you guys. Happy Birthday to you, Mary Julia; may the next year bring you great joy and happiness. L O V E , J E S S E & S P A R RO W
Through times tough and glorious I’ve had the pleasure of living in numerous places around the country, all of which have brought me experiences and friends that I hold dear. I can say without a doubt that Crested Butte has been the best thing to happen to me in my life.This is almost entirely due to the people who have surrounded me in my life here.You have been such an important friend to me through some really tough times, and times equally glorious. I am really thankful for you. You’re an exceptional person and I hope you know it.You have an amazing family that is bursting at the seams with accomplishment and a deeply rooted history in a town where people long to be labeled “local.”Without sounding too lame, you are truly living a dream. Happy Birthday!!!! L OV E , C H R I S TO P H E R H A N N A
An MJ highlight reel MJ, There’s so much to say… You have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.You have been a good friend, role model, and caretaker over the years. I appreciate the support you have given me and the interest you’ve always had in what’s going on in my life. I have a lot of respect for your work ethic and compassion. I look forward to knowing you for many more years to come. When I look back, I have many memories of you. Here are just a few that come to mind: The time we were driving into town from the mountain and you were explaining the concept of God to me. I was no older than five, and I insisted that “God can’t exist up above the sky because not even Superman can fly all the way up there.” I appreciate you putting up with Zach’s and my many shenanigans including running away from the babysitter and running around the house like Rambo. I remember when I was riding my bike and fell through the ice into a drainage ditch.Thank you for taking care of me then so I could enjoy many fun conversations and vacations with you in the future. I remember amazing travels to Europe, Mexico, Dominican Republic, and Belize. Some of the classic vacation memories are taking shots on my 20th birthday in Belize and doing the twist, and your demands that the parents have their own room as often as possible. Thanks for letting my friends and me stay in your condo on the mountain.That was a big part of our amazing winter break.
I remember skydiving with Peter, which you made possible by giving us a great graduation present. It’s not every day you get to jump out of an airplane over the Royal Gorge. Happy birthday! I hope you have a great 50th, and try to think of it as getting wiser, not older! L OV E , C H R I S G.
So young at heart, but… Oh my goodness..Half a Century? That can’t be right? So young in mind, so young at heart, you can’t really be an old fart? MJ, I am proud to call you my friend, and I wish you the happiest of birthdays. Thank you for being my friend for years past and hopefully for years to come. BEST
B I RT H D AY W I S H E S ,
S T E V E M A B RY
Older, but not taller Happy birthday, MJ! You’re one year closer to the next decade! Thank you for everything you’ve done for me throughout the years. One of the most memorable experiences I’ve ever had was the skydiving graduation gift that you gave me!What a rush! You may be older than me, but I will always be taller. Now your age matches your height…50”! Thanks again for everything; you’re the best. I wish you many happy years in the future. Have a great birthday! L OV E , PETER
Cam’s inimitable birthday greeting
Wisdom, truth and launching a marriage BY CARRIE JO CHERNOFF MJ has been one of my favorite people I have met in the valley. Her honesty and “tell it like it is� attitude are refreshing to me. In June she hosted my wedding reception, which meant so much to me. It was symbolic for me to have my marriage start at her house with her family, since I only aspire to have the happiness and life that she and Joel have made for themselves.Although I have just begun a friendship with MJ in the last few years, I know she is someone who will always be in my life and someone I will look to for wisdom and truth. She can always set me straight!