iSelf Magazine - June (Preview) by Kellee Waters

June 2015

4 Keys to Survive Pre-Wedding Stress Life l Health l Happiness l Love

Marriage Ready P O I N T Checklist

Tying the Knot on a Budget IN STYLE:

Photo by Ginger Palmisano

BRIDAL HAIR & MAKEUP GUIDE

In Love & Health Forever After

: s r e t t a M g in d Wed

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s All ! u o Y t u Abo

Life l Health l Happiness l Love

B Contents

Publisher KPG Mac Pty Ltd

Executive Editor Kellee Waters

Art Director Jay Balan

Contributing Writers Marj Bulahan Myra Lising Jennilyn Salvador

Graphic Designers Ana Lyn Rivera Ronald Mendiola

PO Box 164 GRANGE QLD 4051 Ph: 07 3356 9748 Fax: 07 3356 9748 Email: kellee@iselfmagazine.com Facebook Page: fb.com/iSelfmagazine/

About Us iSelf is the first magazine focusing on empowering people to be healthy and happy at any size and shape. It will inspire and inform people who have been previously ignored by other magazines, to find and celebrate their uniqueness in a society of constant pressure and conformity. The focus will be on all aspects of how to be happy within yourself, be healthy and live a full and enriching life. We will never have any quick fixes, lose weight quickly, strive for the perfect body stories that make you feel bad about yourself. iSelf will be bringing to the forefront some issues that are secretive for many such as binge eating, body hatred, guilt and shame of eating and more. We will only be talking to real people just like you, professionals who are working in the space and the researchers to bring you the latest and most valuable information for being healthy and happy at any size and shape.

Special Thanks To All Community Partners, Contributors, Interviewees and Readers

Articles published in this and any issue of iSelf Magazine are copyrighted © 2015 and are published by KPG Mac Pty Ltd. Viewpoints and opinions expressed in iSelf Magazine do not necessarily represent those of the editor, staff or publisher. Reproduction of any material without written permission from the publisher is strictly prohibited. The acceptance of advertising does not necessarily imply endorsement of services or products.

How an e up w she ‘Ma

5Budget Weddi Something B Someth 9 Wedding Budget Cheat Sheet

Yes you can have your dream wedding – on a reasonable budget! Cutting down costs doesn’t mean you have to compromise your dreams or the fun. Here are creative ideas and tips that will help you have a wedding to remember – without going into debt.

‘I Do’ - Your Way

Weddings are turning away from tradition with couples having civil ceremonies that truly reflect their personalities rather than following trends. Find out how you can develop a ceremony that is uniquely focused on your relationship and love for each other.

‘I Do’ Survive My Wedding Stress!

Planning a wedding is a lot of work and can be stressful! As the items on the checklist grows, so does your stress but it doesn’t have to! It’s how you handle it that makes all of the difference! Here’s how to make wedding planning a breeze – for you, and everyone involved.

The repo Mon out a blew your mar in de wed bud fina livin gett

15 For the Love of Fun – Couple Health & Fitness

Couples who have common interests and are active together have more respectful, intimate, and satisfying relationships. Put on your dancing shoes or walking shoes... It matters little what you do; but when you feel all the wedding stress creeping in, it’s time to do something fun!

To Be Beautiful, To Be You: Hair & Makeup Guide for Brides You want to look your best on your BIG day. For flawless and stylish hair and makeup, you need to choose the right experts. Tracy Hudson from VIMA Brisbane shares expert tips all Brides-to-be need to know.

Are You ‘Happy Ever After’ Ready?

Your wedding is important – but it is only ONE day! You need to think about the life you are going to build together. Discussing the ‘BIG issues’ in your relationship to build a happy and healthy life is the greatest wedding gift you can give yourselves.

A toast to a happily forever after! Love always has a unique magical story. But the magic ends when Brides-tobe battle gruelling days of sleepless nights to prepare the stage where a charming love story will unfold. Before Briderella turns into a furious Bridezilla, here’s the secret brew to happily getting married. Welcome to the June issue of iSelf Magazine!

Kellee Waters

Getting married can be one of the most amazing and memorable experiences in your life. To celebrate a very significant moment in most people’s lives, we have put together valuable information about relationships, the wedding and marriage. Weddings are supposed to celebrate the love between two people and their commitment to each other for life. The sad thing about ’normal weddings’ is that it can tend to go off track and become about everything other than love and commitment between two people. Brides-to-be stress over the colour scheme, flowers, decorations, food, beverages, guest list, favours, entertainment, what other people did and what you need to do for a bigger and better reception, dresses, and on and on it goes. On average, in Australia, couples are spending $36, 200. So much time and money is placed on the wedding day and very little planning goes into the marriage. Getting married is about embracing love, commitment and celebrating your uniqueness together. Fall in love and get married with some helpful hints and tips on how to keep your relationship at the centre of planning a wedding right through to having a thoughtful, happy and fun filled marriage.

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TODAY!

June 2015 | iSelf Magazine

udget, of course, isn’t exactly the most romantic topic in the world! Helen Baker, Qualified Financial Adviser from On Your Own Two Feet says, ‘spending your life with someone you love is heavenly.’ However, to keep it that way, you don’t only need an emotional investment – you need to also keep up with the financial challenges of it! That’s why she offers advice that’s simple and straight forward: ‘Manage your finances well!’

Budget Wedding -

Something Borrowed, Something Blue The average cost of a wedding in Australia was $36,200 reported by IBISWorld (2012). A survey conducted by MoneySmart in 2013 found that 60% of couples took out a loan to pay for their wedding and 35% of couples blew their budget. These figures could possibly end your financial stability before you even begin your marriage. Your ‘happily ever after’ should not end in debts. Therefore, you need to plan a memorable wedding, for romance, without going over your budget. Otherwise, it will undoubtedly create financial stress for your marriage and stop you from living your dreams – buying a house, having a family, getting a new car, or going on vacation. June 2015 | iSelf Magazine

Smart Ideas:

Top 15 Money-Saving Wedding Tips

1. Set Priorities – Start

a dialogue and discuss the important elements to both of you in your wedding and the elements that are going to make it most memorable.

2. Stick to Your Budget – Baker strongly

advises to ‘avoid credit card debt!’ Your budget must be clear before you start any spending, and stick to it! Let your vendors know up front how much you can spend so they can provide you with recommendations that fit your budget and avoid any overspending.

3. Keep it Simple –

Simplicity can be more elegant, less stressful, less complicated and a lot cheaper. For example, your table setting can feature an elegant napkin and menu with the guest’s name printed on it, to save on stationery costs. You can serve clean skin wines. Your favour may be a small succulent 6

June 2015 | iSelf Magazine

in a pot with the guests name on or a jar of fresh local produce.

4. Go for Sales, Discounts, and Wholesale – Keep a

constant look out for sales. Rental companies have sales on stock they no longer need so this is the time to buy linens and other supplies at a greatly reduced price. If you buy in bulk you may be able to negotiate substantial discounts, even when buying wholesale. Some websites or vendors may give you a discount if you opt-in to their mailing list. If you are buying multiple bridesmaids dresses, ask for a discount. Buying wholesale can save you a lot of money so think about looking for outlets for your dresses, suits, stationery and decorations. For food and beverages, you can go directly to the farmers and wineries. The smart way to shop

for anything – from decorations, catering, to venues – is to say ‘family party’ and avoid the word ‘wedding.’ As soon as you say ‘wedding’ a premium is added!

5. Consider Pre-Loved –

If you really want to save a lot of money on your wedding dress, instead of buying retail, buy a pre-loved gown and save up to 80% off! You can get designer gowns worth $4,000 for $500 or less! You will look stunning for just a fraction of the cost.

6. Activate your creative flair –

Opt for DIY, but DIY wisely. Make sure you pick designs that are quick and easy so as not to consume much of your time and energy.

7. Go Digital –

We now live in a digital world, so go digital and save big! Get a graphic artist to design your invites and email them out. Let your guests RSVP via email or online to save on paper and postage. If you’re more on the creative side you can make your own video invite. Make it fun and personal, and send a private Youtube link to your guests and they can leave comments

or RSVP via email. If you are really techie, you can even create your own website so everything is done online for a fraction of the cost – and in a more organised, unique, and creative way.

8. Be Uniquely Creative – Find the

unique edge that will make your wedding affordable and memorable. Here are some ideas: candles instead of flowers; backyard over beach resort; picnic lunch instead of hotel sit down dinner; morning or afternoon tea instead of main meal; chalkboards placed in front of the altar to inform guests of the program instead of printed programs; buffet; standing ceremony instead of seated (just don’t forget about the elderly and sick) and make the ceremony short, and homemade rather than bought desserts (get relatives together and have a dessert-making day).

9. Opt for Something Borrowed – Borrow instead of buy. Jewellery, cuff links, cars, and other items that will only be needed for the day, can be borrowed to really save you money!

10. Get Help – You can’t do

everything! So don’t even try. Get help from friends and families. June 2015 | iSelf Magazine

14. Schedule Wisely – Be

It is also a good time to bond together. Ask them to help with research, decorations, and shopping. Ask for suggestions and ideas, interview married couples about budget and savings to get real helpful tips and hints.

mindful of keeping to schedules and trying to maximise the time you have. You will be charged for additional hours by suppliers and vendors if you go over time. Also, be aware that your guests do not want to wait around too long. Make the transitions in between the ceremony and reception as quick as possible for a more enjoyable celebration for everybody.

11. Do Away with Mainstream –

Popular is expensive! Ignore mainstream trends. If you really want to save on your wedding costs, marry during off peak wedding dates (May, June, July, August), and have an offpeak wedding day/time (Saturdays are the busiest). Have a morning wedding and cater for a breakfast buffet — it can save you a lot of money. You might even like a pancake stack for your wedding cake! You can have a tea party in the afternoon and then a small intimate dinner for close family members and friends only.

12. Hire Smart – When

hiring a wedding planner, make sure the planner can help negotiate prices that will help you lower your expenses. You do not need an all-professional team. You can also go local as much as possible. However, sometimes you may find better bargains from vendors and suppliers out of town.

June 2015 | iSelf Magazine

15. Choose Your Numbers – A large

13. Learn to Negotiate –

Learning the art of negotiation puts you in a much better position to get reasonable prices. Control your emotions and don’t appear too attached to a product or service. You need to also remember to always check for any hidden costs – property damage, extended hours, and permit fees, for instance.

chunk of the wedding costs are for food and alcohol. Therefore, it is sensible to note that the more guests you have, the more money you will need, even doing it on the cheap! Parents may tend to want to invite many friends and family, but it is essential for the couple to make parents aware of the budget and what is intended for the ceremony and reception. As the couple, you may choose to have an intimate wedding with hand-picked family and friends, and then organise a party at home for those who you didn’t invite, at a later stage. Your parents may also choose to do the same. This will save you a lot of money.

Your Wedding: All About You June 2015 | iSelf Magazine

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STRESS is BAD for your skin and sex drive. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Wedding Club

Survival Guide for

Pre-Wedding Stress W

hen the excitement of getting married shifts to heightened pressure, anxiety and fighting between the Bride-to-be and those involved in the wedding preparations then it is time to call a time out and re-assess. Stress is a normal part of life, with or without planning a wedding. Learning how to manage stress better and your response to stress is the key. Here are some vital keys to surviving wedding planning stress.

Survival Key #1:

Flexibility The greatest skills for planning a wedding are flexibility and adaptability. If you start planning your wedding with a desire for perfection, your levels of stress and anxiety are quickly going to elevate, even with the smallest of deviations or issues. You will also make everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life hell around you and you will become a Bridezilla! June 2015 | iSelf Magazine

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Stop focusing on how STRESSED you are and remember how BLESSED you are.

June 2015 | iSelf Magazine

IN LOV E & H E A LT H :

Mind, Body, Spirit & Relationship

eading up to the wedding day, most brides frantically want to lose weight, in order to look fantastic in the photos! They start going on crash diets, detoxes, hitting the gym or employ a personal trainer – all in an endeavour to get into shape! However, the wedding day only begins a couple’s life together. Entering into a marriage is about ‘us’ and ‘we,’ no longer just ‘I’ and ‘me.’ The days leading up to the wedding day can be filled with lots of stress and pressure. If you can start learning to do things together and support each other to de-stress, have fun, be active and healthy leading up to the wedding day, you will be making a great head start on building a life – and a strong relationship – based on mind and body balance.

Being fit is not just about your body. Optimal health is based on balance between your mind, body, relationship, and spirit. Being married and building a family is full of challenges. Therefore, your overall health, as a person and within your relationship, is so important. By starting to incorporate healthy activities into your lives, leading up to your wedding day as a couple, you will start building a marriage grounded on fitness, health, fun, and laughter. This will prepare you for the little ones who will soon need you to be strong and always on your toes to pick up toys, have enough energy to play, and maintain an excited spirit to inspire them.

June 2015 | iSelf Magazine

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June 2015 | iSelf Magazine

generosity – how you are going to behave towards one another and the person you will strive to be in the relationship,’ she adds.

Cram says, ‘Working on your vows together gives you an opportunity to explore what is really important to you and your relationship, and puts your values under the microscope. It also helps to avoid gender role stereotyping from creeping in.’ Your wedding begins a new chapter of your life – a journey together that will challenge, inspire, and develop you, your partner and your relationship.

Happily Forever After: The Marriage

‘Your wedding is ONE day! It is the gateway to a whole life together! To have a lasting relationship, you need to talk to one another respectfully, openly, and with love – about everything!’ advises Cram.

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Bridal Partners

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Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Face It!

Looking Your Most Beautiful on Your Wedding by Tracy Hudson VIMA Brisbane

June 2015 | iSelf Magazine

very important part of the wedding day is hair and makeup for the bridal party, particularly for the bride. Here are some tips to making sure your wedding day makeup and hair is stylish and flawless.

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Marriage is not a NOUN, it’s a VERB. It isn’t something you GET. It’s something you DO. It’s the way you LOVE your partner EVERYDAY. – Barbara De Angelis

ow Ready Are You For Marriage?

After the wedding bells have chimed, the crowd has gone and the high spirits of the celebrations have died down, there are two people left to celebrate each other with a lifetime ahead. You have planned every single detail of your wedding to perfection. Have you planned your marriage with the same detail? ‘The road to a happy marriage is a rough road that can challenge any couple. Magic can happen when the couple begins to internalise their relationship roles and responsibilities, and truly become adept to quickly delivering responsible solutions to unique issues and matters they both encounter in their marriage, as individuals and as a couple,’ says Marriage Coach Naomi Douglas from Marriage Coach Australia.

Having a partner to go through life with is one of the most important elements of a happy and healthy life. – Naomi Douglas, Marriage Coach Australia

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PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE

Keys to Happy Life Stable Finances Your financial stability (or lack of) is one of the key factors that can have a strong impact on your relationship. Qualified Financial Adviser Helen Baker from On Your Own Two Feet advises couples, ‘for your marriage to stay fun, happy, and exciting, ensure you manage your finances well and that you work together. Managing your spending to avoid debt is important. Don’t get in over your head on your house so that you have the choice to be with your children rather than having to work.’ Baker suggests couples build the five (5) financial foundations:

1. Emergency fund; 2. Spending and investment plan; 3. Personal insurances (life, TPD, income protection and trauma); 4. Effective superannuation management, and 5. Estate planning (wills, POA, guardianship, testamentary trusts). One of the toughest issues in marriage is financial stress so prevention is better than cure. – Helen Baker On Your Own Two Feet

Naomi Douglas from Marriage Coach Australia provides keys to a happy marriage and the areas needed to build a strong marriage.

Life Goals and Life Purpose What kind of life do you want to have? How do you see yourself in a year, in 10 years? It is important for couples to share goals in terms of the kind of lives they wish to live. It is also important to understand our partner’s purpose or passion in life. After all, how can you build a life with someone if that person has goals or visions that are completely opposite from yours?

Open Communication Skills Communication skills go hand in hand with emotional intelligence. This translates into respect, empathy, and understanding of how your partner feels, combined with the ability to communicate your own emotions. Open communication allows you to understand your differences and this will help strengthen your relationship for a lasting marriage. June 2015 | iSelf Magazine

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Source: www.ag.gov.au

June 2015 | iSelf Magazine

Acknowledgment We would like to thank all of the experts who have contributed to the articles. If you would like to contact any of them for further assistance, here are their contact details, in alphabetical order:

Helen Baker

Qualified Financial Adviser On Your Own Two Feet www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au

Authorised Civil Celebrant www.jennifercram.com.au

Naomi Douglas

Tracy Hudson

Marriage Coach Marriage Coach Australia www.MarriageCoachAustralia.com.au

Jennifer Cram

June 2015 | iSelf Magazine

Owner/Makeup Artist VIMA Makeup Artistry and Educator Brisbane https://www.facebook.com/pages/ VIMA-Makeup-Artistry-and-EducatorBrisbane/629309250546049

Life l Health l Happiness l Love

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. - George Levinger