CNY Woman Online July/Aug 2021 Edition by Rochester Woman Online

Featuring:

- ALL ACCESS WITH DR SHANELLE BENSON REID - UNSTOPPABLE WOMAN WITH DR. PAM DENTON - BODY TALK WITH HILLARY WELLES - INSPIRING WOMAN: ANNIKA D’ANDREA

SHE HUSTLES TALKS

WOMEN ENTREPRENEURS

PLUS Enjoy:

EMPOWERING EACH OTHER ONE TOUGH MOTHER BEAUTIFY ME AGAINST ALL ODDZ

Marie Adornato

HARD WORK, PERSEVERANCE, AND GOOD MORAL CHARACTER

Presidential Suite

Historic Lobby

The Premier Hot

100 E Onondaga Street Syracus

Grand Ballroom

Bridal Suite

Shaughnessy’s Irish Pub

see more:

tel in Syracuse

se, NY 13202

Guest Room

(315)-474-2424

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MARIE ADORNATO

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REGULARS

232

TAMMY’S TIDBITS

ALL ACCESS

IN HER OWN WORDS

112

UNSTOPPABLE WOMAN

274

216

EMPOWERING WOMEN

108

BODY TALK

246

CHILDREN AWAITING PARENTS

318

SEEING THE SIGNS

116

ASK DANIEL BALDWIN

236

360

HER EDGE

WOMAN ON THE RISE Alyssa Trahan

296

YOU MATTER

120

TRACY IS TALKING

344

SPECIAL FEATURES

COLLABORATIVE LAW

244

FINANCIALLY SPEAKING

248

AGAINST ALL ODDZ

210

AFTERNOON COCKTAIL

278

TRUTH TEA WITH TALENA SKYE

110

276

B. MOR

268

TRAVEL WITH AGNESS

225

BUSINESS TALK

288

YOU MATTER

116

ALWAYS CHASING BETTER

288

KARMA SPEAKS

384

WOMEN WHO INSPIRE Annika D’Andrea

ANIMAL CARE SACTUARY CORNER

127

SHE HUSTLES TALKS Amanda Richie terzian Savon Holt Letitia Torres Rhea Parks Clay & Confetti Jessica Elizabeth Skincare Breanna Blue Hands With Faith SPECIAL TRIBUTE: CAROL LEFLUER

FASHION & BEAUTY

127 87

218 DR. J’S BEAUTY 308 BEAUTIFYME 224 SECOND LOOK

HEALTH & WELLNESS 328

SEXUALLY SPEAKING

306

MENTALLY THINKING

B. MOR

280

DIVI9 CHAT

COACHING WITH KRISTIN B

318

WELL TRAIL

BEHIND THE CROWN

372

BLISSFUL BALANCE

HEAL EMPOWER RECLAIM

228

THE MEDICARE MINUTE

288

HIP HEMP

218

{ FROM THE PUBLISHER }

“Behind every successful woman is a tribe of women that have her back.”

or the July/August 2021 edition of Central NY Woman Online, it is our true pleasure to welcome Marie Adornato, a woman who believes in hard work, perserverance and good moral character. Read all about her incredible story starting on page [16] as our cover woman.

READ. ENJOY. SHARE.REPEAT. Until next time, don’t forget to stand behind your tribe and encourage and support others to grow!

Kelly

T T

ON OUR COVER

On the cover of our July/August edition of Central NY Woman Online we have Marie Adornato photographed on location in Central NY at her boutique, Spybaby Bridal & Prom by Laura Marino. Makeup provided by Alexandra Axenfeld.

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{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }

PUBLISHER TALENT & PROMOTIONS CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN PHOTOGRAPHY

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Kelly Breuer LS Jones Kelly Breuer Laura Marino Brody Wheeler Christopher Cardwell Dr. Shanelle Benson Reid Hillary Welles Dr. Pam Denton Angela Duncan Tammy Vreeland Tracy Simone Randy Agness Bonnie Floyd Savon Holt Tetia Torres Ellen Feldman Judi Swanson Kristin Bauer Gross Amanda Richie Terzian Gabriella Rose Fiederlein Amanda Ashley Kelly Breuer Michelle Horton Katie Flaherty Jessica Fabus Christine Piacentino Jennafer Kelly

ADVERTISING SALES

Kelly Breuer

SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR

Toni Natalie

WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT

Samantha LaPointe Breanna Blue Teresa Jeffers Rachel Goncalves Sara Pavia

Network Rochester

Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www. rochesterwomanonline.com. The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2017 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.

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YOU ARE ENOUGH. MARIE ADORNATO BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO BY KELLY BREUER I PHOTOS BY LAURA MARINO

In the latest edition of Central NY Woman Online we are truly honored to welcome cover woman, fashion designer and woman entrepreneur Marie Adornato. We had the pleasure of talking with Marie about not only creating an amazing experience for brides looking for that perfect dress for their special day, but about her ALL NEW couture line of dresses, what her plans are for the future, family and so much more. We hope you will enjoy her interview in CNYWO as much as we did!

I would spend summer days helping one of my neighbors in particular. Her son had passed away as a child and she would take me to the cemetery to pull the weeds around his tombstone.

and merged with Christian Brothers Academy. In my sophomore year, I became a student at Christian Brothers Academy in Syracuse and one of the first years of graduating females.

Since childhood, serving others has

What made you choose to be a female entrepreneur and open Spy Baby Bridal & Prom? Entrepreneurs naturally don’t choose to be one. We have a strong passion for not just one thing, but everything we do. Although I had an appreciation for couture gowns because of my experience in various pageant systems, especially the Miss America Scholarship Organization, owning a bridal salon and becoming a designer was not in my career plan. After the completion of my college education at Rochester Institute of Technology, I earned my MBA from the accelerated 11-Month MBA program at Katz Graduate School of Business at the University of Pittsburgh. I knew that the corporate career track was not for me when I attended a mentor event in graduate school. The required attire was a business suit. I was the only one in the room with a red bouclé suit with soft pearls dangling from the lapel. I looked and felt fabulous. But, I also knew that my freedom to create something special was more important than the security of a weekly paycheck.

Tell us about yourself, and your background. Who is the real Marie Ardonato? That is the trick question of the century! Who I am is continually evolving, but I can tell you that my fundamental character is probably a result of being the 6th child out of 10 children in a very energetic Italian family. My inherently independent personality made leadership natural for me. Before I ever thought I knew how to run a business, I inadvertently was already taught the values of hard work, perseverance, and good moral character. At age 6, my father taught me how to balance a checkbook. I remember staying overnight at my grandmother’s house, because my mother was in the hospital having another baby, I was holding my grape Hubba Bubba bubblegum and playing with my checkbook. When I was old enough to pull weeds for neighbors, 16

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always brought me joy. After 8th grade, I was given the choice to stay in public school or attend Franciscan Academy in Syracuse, which was an all girls Catholic School. I chose to go to private school as I was able to practice my Faith on a daily basis. After one year, the school closed

After graduate school, I came back to Syracuse to accept the position of Operation’s Manager for my mother’s bagel company, Dewitt Bagelry. I was a 21 year old with an MBA and

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still competing in the Miss America Scholarship Program. Within a few years of moving back to Syracuse, I opened Spybaby Boutique as a fun hobby. I was featured shortly after on TLC’s, A Makeover Story. As I began selling pageant prom gowns, manufacturers pressured me to try selling bridal gowns since the sales representatives sold bridal gowns in addition to prom dresses. So I moved to a larger space that could accommodate the space requirements to stock bridal gowns. Spybaby Bridal was now born.

Couture... Where did the vision for this come from? The Adornato Couture brand was created over a period of about 4 years. I was seeing a unique need for brides to be able to have the freedom to work with their stylist to design the gown they envision wearing on their wedding day. Customization options at an affordable price were only available by a few manufacturers. Larger manufacturers have streamlined the production process to a point where custom changes are rarely available to the bride.

Tell us about your newly created custom bridal collection business Ardonato

Who and which things are the inspirations behind creating your looks?

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Every bride has her own unique style and vision. She should be ability to work closely with her stylist to create a bespoke, custom gown produced to the bride’s measurements. What does the word fashion mean to you? Although some larger bridal manufacturers use google analytics to guide their design process, I look at every design as a special work of art. My first priority as a designer is to make the dress as flattering at the bust, waist, and hip as possible. This might me slight adjustments to bodice length or skirt fullness. I look to the past for inspiration

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“The word fashion in my opinion means using your freedom of expression to portray an emotion that you are feeling at that time.”

sometimes. I grew up watching my mother shop at the finest gown salons as my parents attended many galas and events. Sometimes mixing vintage styles with new innovative fabrics creates a unique piece. What does the word fashion mean to you? The word fashion in my opinion means using your freedom of expression to portray an emotion that you are feeling at that time. When people ask me what

is “in Fashion,” I always share current trends. But, then explain that your wedding is about YOUR fashion. According to you, what are the skills that are necessary for becoming a successful female entrepreneur, especially in the bridal and prom worlds? The necessary skills for success as an entrepreneur include having a smart/ hard work ethic, highly organized, and committed to success. Hard work is simply a lifestyle for me, so it doesn’t

really feel like work. I return messages from brides at all hours of the night as I am normally sitting in my recliner designing gowns and communicating with my factory in China since they are 12 hours ahead. Staying organized in every aspect of your life is critical, especially during COVID. Entrepreneurs need to be able to be able to quickly make changes to adapt to the current business climate. Committing to your success means even on a challenging day, you have the consistent belief in yourself to CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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{ {SHIFT+CONTROL COVER STORY } } “Although some larger bridal manufacturers use google analytics to guide their design process, I look at every design as a special work of art.”

keep moving your business forward. What do you feel are your greatest strengths? What about some of your weaknesses? My greatest strengths: Appreciating the blessings in my life keeps me humble, kind, and genuine. Being reliable is another strength that is further supported by having a great staff. A weakness that all entrepreneurs experience is the inability to give up some of the control in our businesses through delegating authority. This is tough for me, especially when I drive. I’m always in the driver’s seat. How would you define your own personal style? My own personal style would be considered sharp European, with jewel tone colors and adornments. People normally recognize me by my unique glasses. I get a lot of “I love what your wearing, you must be Italian.” Even when I renovated my current building, the floor refinisher asked me if I was Italian because I wanted an extra glossy coat. When did you first realize you wanted to pursue a career in fashion? I would say that I knew I wanted to pursue a career in fashion when I realized that I could use my passion for gowns to

create meaningful moments for brides with their families. Life is about special moments and business is about people. My brides will remember how my staff made their shopping experience perfect.

relationship with this special couple as I helped them with basic errands and doctor appointments. Their stories were chilling to me and made me further appreciate my life.

What was your first job and how old were you? Although I pulled weeds and babysat

Who are some of the people that empower and inspire you and why? There have been some pretty wonderful people in my life who have inspired and empowered me. My parents never ending love story is an inspirational story of the power of love and commitment. My dad always taught me to educate myself, so I never had to rely on any man. When I was disappointed with something he always used to tell me to “cry a little bit, pick yourself up, and move forward.” Being the good Italian daughter that I was, I listened, and followed exactly what he said. I have shared his wisdom in my children’s book, Grandpa’s Special Note. My father was a Neurosurgeon for 42 years and passed away in 2010, when I was 6 months pregnant with my third child.

before I was legally able to work, my first job at age 15 was as a cashier at Wegmans. I was a proud recipient of the Wegmans Scholarship. This job taught me so much. Learning how to listen and properly communicate are skills that are essential in the Bridal Industry. Yet, I truly feel that I was meant to work this job to meet Isaac and Elvira Amar, an elderly couple who had survived the Holocaust and would come through my line every Saturday. I developed a close

My mother is an inspiration with her ability to juggle a million things at a time while raising 10 children. Although I CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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“The Adornato Couture brand was created over a period of about 4 years. I was seeing a unique need for brides to be able to have the freedom to work with their stylist to design the gown they envision wearing on their wedding day.”

always saw my mother as “just a mom,” she really is a true boss. My father always encouraged her to pursue her education. She became a real estate agent and then the President of a multiple location bagel company. I wasn’t married when I started my business. My husband, Michael Egnoto is definitely the most empowering person in my life. He appreciates my independence and respects my attachment to my family name, as I have never changed it after marriage. As a fellow entrepreneur, he understands my passion to create and commitment to doing a good job. If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently? You can always look back and question certain decisions you made. I don’t do that because the business environment back then was a very different landscape than what it is today. How is your business and styles different today than from when you started out? My business style has somewhat changed over time as I have matured as a person. I was very young when I started my business. Conducting my business with a high level of professionalism is very important to me. How did working through the pandemic change your business for the better or worse? How did you get creative? Working through the Pandemic changed my business for the better. It allowed me to reconnect on a more intimate level with my customers. Virtual appointments without any distractions provided a

distinct opportunity to really get to know my brides. I sold the most expensive gown I’ve ever sold in a virtual appointment for a custom gown. I got creative by servicing a need for high filtration efficiency masks that even our local, state, and federal governments did not have access to. Through my production facility in China, I was able to secure KN95 respirators immediately after the Federal Government allowed them to be shipped to the U.S. Approximately 60,000 masks were distributed from my store. Medical facilities across the country were ordering these masks for protection. What role do you think social media plays in your business and what is your favorite platform? Social media plays the most important role in my business because it is so visual. Brides love to see photos of new arrivals. I am most comfortable with Facebook and Instagram. Name one special moment during your career that has stood out to you. There have been so many special moments in my 25 year career. But, one that stands out shows more about the character of my staff than that of myself. We received a call shortly before closing on a Saturday from the aunt of a bride who was suffering from a very aggressive form of cancer that had created growths over the entire side of her body. The bride could barely stand on her own, but wanted to marry the love of her life before the cancer took her life. My floor manager had an instant connection to the bride and her family. She even

brought the gown to the bride’s home for alterations. The bride thanked her for making her feel beautiful. Within a few days from picking her gown, it was altered and the wedding took place. My floor manager watched from afar from her car as the bride and groom walked into their ceremony site. A few days later, the bride passed away. The entire staff felt the loss. It’s not always glam and sparkle. If you could only have 1 piece out of your collection what one would it be and why? If I could have one piece from the collection it would be the first dress I designed. Remembering where you started keeps you grounded and sometimes you need to go back to the beginning if you feel that you are losing direction. How do you want women to feel when wearing your collection? I want women to feel fierce in their wedding gown, even if it’s the softest looking style. The bride needs to feel that she is wearing the dress, not the dress consuming her. What do you have planned for the next year? What about five years from now? For the naext year I plan to continue designing and sharing the collection with Spybaby Bridal brides and retail stores throughout the country. Once travel becomes less complicated, I will be traveling to China to work with my factory more efficiently when creating the collection season to season. How has being an entrepreneur affected your family life? CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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“Entrepreneurs don’t choose to be entrepreneurs, we just naturally are. We have a strong passion for not just one thing, but everything we do.”

Being an entrepreneur has definitely affected my family life. My schedule does not coincide with my kids schedules. When my kids have an opportunity to learn or grow from participating in an activity I will take the time needed to help them pursue their interests. Sometimes I have to hire services to help me maintain organization at home. Since my husband is also an entrepreneur, we many times will need to do things independently with our kids instead of together.

them in the best possible way. My gowns on the Adornato Couture collection are exclusive. So, you will not find the same styles when shopping from store to store. The affordable luxury of our custom gowns along with the personalized service makes Spybaby Bridal a sought after destination for brides from across the country.

What motivates you? I am motivated by my appreciation for the freedom to create something amazing. Whether is be a gown or experience, I pride myself in my work and my family motivates me and makes me appreciate my WHY. W h a t’s t h e m o s t important business or other discovery you’ve made in the past year? The most important discovery that I have made in the last year is the support of my staff and customers would get me through COVID. What’s unique about the service that you provide to your customers? The products and services that I provide are very unique because of our deep focus on building relationships with our customers so we can service 40

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Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success? My perspective on failure is that it is not the end of an idea or project. As an entrepreneur, I do not use the word failure because every idea or project develops through positive and negative situations to lead me to something that becomes successful.

“What is your ‘why? ‘” My WHY is something that I continually evaluate and is constantly evolving. My commitment to providing the best possible opportunities for my children is definitely the basis of my WHY. It took me a long time to come to the realization that my WHY needs to actually include myself. Maintaining my health, creative energy, and ability to help others. I could write a book on the true essence of understanding your WHY because it truly is a much deeper journey into the reasons behind how we live our lives. Where will we see you next? You will continue to see me participating in local bridal shows, store trunk shows throughout the country, and at my children’s schools. My children and my husband always come first. Adornato Couture is participating in Syracuse Fashion Week on September 30th at Aloft Hotel, Syracuse Wedding Show at Holiday Electronics Pkwy on Sunday 10/24, and CBA Senior Showcase in October. Check out Spybaby Bridal at http:// Www.spybaby.com/

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ANNIKA YOU ARED’ANDREA ENOUGH. BY NICOLE PHOTOS BY NSP MCGWIN STUDIO PHOTOS OFHEROUX ANDREAWILLIAMS BY BRODYI WHEELER & DEB

Who is Annika D’andrea? Well Rochester Woman Online asked just that questions as we sat down for our interview with our latest cover woman at her beautiful home in Webster, NY. This woman is the true epitome of inspiration, ambition and an all around empowering entrepreneur. I am sure this is not the last we will see or hear from this amazing woman and her evolving journey. Tell us about who Annika D’andrea is. I am a passionate, dedicated and ambitious entrepreneur from a small island with big dreams. I was born and raised in Westmoreland, Jamaica a rural area with little to no exposure to city life. I emigrated from Jamaica as a teenager and moved to the United States. Growing up in rural Jamaica, I was surrounded by hardworking, dedicated individuals and understood from an early age the importance of hard work. I was raised to respect others and dream big. I was also taught that I had the ability to achieve anything I dreamed as long as I worked hard. This is a belief I have carried with me throughout my life experiences, and have taught my own three children who are now young adults. What made you decide to create Tender Loving Family Care and become a female entrepreneur? My passion for caring and helping others. 48

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I realized from an early age that I was born to serve a special purpose and I don’t believe there is any other way. The passion to care for others was born in me. I love to care, and doing what I love makes it possible to thrive.My personal and professional life is guided by the principles of integrity, honesty, quality, commitment, respect, and dedication.

At around six years old, I started helping and caring for those in need. At that young age, I would help people in my church and the community with any tasks that I was physically capable of doing. As an adult, I had first hand experience of what it’s like to care for a loved one, without having the resources

and support available to provide respite and other much-needed services. Tell us about TLFC. How was it created? What is the concept behind it? Tender Loving Family Care, Inc., (TLFC) is a New York State Licensed Home Care Services Agency, offering compassionate care to individuals who need extra help to stay independent. We understand everyone’s desire to remain independent, and we actively work with our clients to ensure they live a well-dignified life in the comfort and surroundings of their own home. TLFC offers in-home care for the young and elderly. Tender Loving Family Care, Inc. takes a comprehensive approach to providing home health care by offering complete solutions in the comfort of your own home. Our services and programs are designed to educate patients and caregivers on their medical condition, injury, or illness in an effort to maximize independence. More and more older people, electing to live independent, non-institutionalized lives, are receiving in-home care services as their physical capabilities diminish. Younger adults who are disabled or recuperating from acute illness are choosing in-home care whenever possible. As hospital stays decrease, increasing the numbers of patients who need services when they return home.

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“I am a passionate, dedicated and ambitious entrepreneur from a small island with big dreams.”

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{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES } “I realized from an early age that I was born to serve a special purpose and I don’t believe there is any other way. The passion to care for others was born in me.”

Patients and families can feel confident that Tender Loving Family Care is committed to providing the best quality service and programs. Our focus is always our patients and families’ satisfaction. We provide service in Monroe, Orleans, Ontario, Livingston, Genesee, Wayne, and Wyoming Counties. Our company is based on the belief that our customer’s needs are of the utmost importance. We are committed to meeting those needs. As a result, a high percentage of our business is from repeat customers and referrals. What are some of the things you find help you to be a successful business owner and in creating a highly successful business? We receive many referrals. We also utilize social media, radio, television and speaking at different community events. The most successful and rewarding are referrals it is a testament to the great work being done at Tender Loving Family Care as we find many families are spreading the word of how pleased they are with our services and recommending us to friends and other loved ones. Are you considering franchising in the future to other states? No, not at this time. TLFC has so much more to offer its local communities.

If you could interview one of your mentors, who would it be and what would you ask them? There are so many inspirational and influential people in my life that also act as mentors. That is one of the things I am so grateful for. I draw inspiration and strength from several of those individuals. In business, I have always

had great admiration and respect for Bob Fox, CPA. I don’t have a specific question that I’d ask him because as a close mentor and inspiration to me he has always shared his knowledge and experiences with me of how to be successful in business. Have you found social media to help or hinder you in promoting your business especially during the pandemic?

Social media has definitely helped me to promote my business during the pandemic. I have been able to connect with so many amazing people that need care and support. Through social media we have also been fortunate to recruit so many caring and passionate caregivers - they are integral to TLFC thriving, especially throughout the pandemic. How do you juggle the fast paced schedule of being a woman entrepreneur with your family life? Juggling the demands of being an entrepreneur with a family has many challenges. There was never a blueprint on how to do both and there were many struggles. However, a strong family support system has been my saving grace. My family understands the demands of my profession and as such have always been available to support my needs. I have also had to learn that a strong, efficient team is key to sustaining a work life balance. Trusting my employees to lead the cause when I needed to prioritize family life has also been effective for me. What challenges have you faced this year and how have you overcome them? My major challenges were keeping my employees and clients safe and sustaining

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COVID was a time of many uncertainties. Majority of my clients are considered to be the most vulnerable to the virus, and as a business owner my number one priority included keeping them safe and minimizing their exposure to the virus. In addition to keeping them safe, I had to ensure my employees were also safe. Simultaneously managing both was very challenging. We had to implement stringent policies for our clients which became a challenge to ensure adherence, and we also implemented policies for our caregivers that sometimes saw them being away from their loved ones for extended periods of time. What motivates you and keeps you moving forward ? My passion. My passion for helping my clients, my passion for caring. On days when I stumble upon challenges, knowing that the service I provide for my clients is what keeps them going, knowing my services is what gives their families hope. That is what keeps me going. Did anyone ever prepare you, or encourage you to own your own business? I had no preparation. Most of what I know now is through trial and error and learning as I go along. I knew my goals and what I needed to accomplish. With faith, dedication and a lot of research I prepared myself. My family has always encouraged me to start my own business as they understood my passion and knew my dedication for helping others. Where do you see yourself personally 54

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and professionally in the next 3-5 years? Growing. We never stop learning, and with learning comes growing. I believe Tender Loving Family Care will expand to more markets and serve many more clients. I also believe we will develop innovative programs to keep our communities and our clients engaged and build upon our group of companies to offer a wider range of healthcare services. What makes your business unique and stand out from others? My business is unique because we pride ourselves on the exceptional services we provide. Our employees are great at what they do and are passionate about healthcare, caring for, and helping others. Having a strong team and consistently providing good services and a successful employee wellness program are what has helped Tender Loving Family Care. We are proud to be a successful minorityowned business and promise to always deliver the highest quality service to our clients. What are some of the pros and cons of being a female entrepreneur, especially in 2021? The pros of being a female entrepreneur is the creative freedom and personal satisfaction I gain from knowing that I am positively impacting the lives of others - I am able to inspire other women to own their own business through my experiences. One con is that you are sometimes challenged by your male counterparts who may try to discredit your success simply because of your gender. However, with determination and agility I learned how to navigate

the cons of entrepreneurship. Do you have any helpful advice to someone interested in starting their own business? Go for it! It may seem overwhelming and difficult but if it is something you are sincerely passionate about , you will succeed. It will take a lot of work, but this is your business, so the rewards and personal satisfaction will far outweigh the hurdles. What type of schooling prepared you to be where you are today? I wasn’t sure exactly what my career path would be, but I knew it had to include caring for those in need. I started my career as a Certified Nursing Assistant and knew immediately that I needed to advance my career. I received my undergraduate degree from Rochester Institute of Technology and completed my Master’s degree in Business Administration from Capella University. If you needed to start it all over again tomorrow and you had just one thing to change, add or subtract, what would it be ? I wouldn’t change anything about my experience. I have learned so much along the way, I had so many failures and successes, I believe each one of them molded me into the entrepreneur I am today. It also helped me to build a strong foundation for my business - learning what works and what doesn’t. What makes you an expert in understanding the needs of individuals to age-in-place? My vast experience makes me an expert.

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{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES { SHIFT+CONTROL } } “Juggling the demands of being an entrepreneur with a family has many challenges. There was never a blueprint on how to do both and there were many struggles.”

Which is one of the reasons why I wouldn’t change anything about my experience. I started my career as a Certified Nursing Assistant, I was at the bedsides of these individuals, I understand their wants and needs, I understand the importance of meeting their needs and ensuring they receive the care they need. As someone with such a significant foundation working with these individuals and gradually working my way up in this field, I have all the fundamental knowledge and more to be an expert in understanding their needs. Did you always know you wanted to be in this field and help others? Yes, caring for the elderly has always been a strong passion of mine. My story began as a young girl, helping seniors for countless hours in their homes after church with friends. We completed chores and served meals to the elderly. The feeling of seeing the difference we made in their lives was unforgettable. #21 Name one defining moment when you knew that you were going to be a nurse and help others. There wasn’t one defining moment for me. Caring for others has always been a core value of who I am. As I grew up, my father had great plans for me, urging me to become a lawyer. I spent two years trying to fit into his dream but could no longer ignore my true calling imprinted in my heart from childhood memories. As I explored my career

aspirations, I was led to pursue a career in nursing. I also realized that spreading joy and smiles became more difficult when loved ones faced the difficult task of caregiving without proper support services. Although many facilities have wonderful nurses, caregivers, and other caring staff, most patients feared being institutionalized. Tell us about one moment in your life

and had a lasting impact on me. When I wasn’t certain of my career path, these memories were constant and helped me to be who I am today. What do you attribute your success to? What advice do you have for others that you wish you knew prior to starting your business? I attribute my success to my upbringing. I was raised to never doubt myself, be passionate about what I love and always strive for greatness. Giving up was non-negotiable in my culture. If I started something, I had to do it to my best ability and never give up. My advice for others that I wish I knew prior to starting my business is that there isn’t a one size fits all plan. You have to create a plan that works for you and your business, and even if the odds are against you, keep trying. Failures are inevitable, but many are blessings. They help you learn and grow. Tell our audience one thing about yourself that not many others know.

that has had a lasting impression on you and formed who you are today. As a child growing up in rural Jamaica I would go to church every Sunday with the elders in my community. I remember constantly feeling compelled to help them with their activities of daily living. Even when I was not in church, I would find their homes, visit them and help them with whatever tasks they desired. These experiences were the defining moments

I am a big animal lover! If my family would allow me, and if I had the resources, I would have a house full of animals living happily ever after. If you wrote a book and could only use 1 word for the title of your life story, what would it be? Resilience. The story of my life has centered around being resilient and my life experiences have allowed me to master being resilient.

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MEET JESSICA FABUS CHENG BY JESSICA FABUS CHENG

Jessica Fabus Cheng was recently crowned Mrs. New York America 2021. The 44th annual competition leading to the prestigious Mrs. America pageant was held at the RIT Inn and Conference Center in Henrietta, NY on July 18. Jessica held the local title of Mrs. Metropolitan for 5 years on her journey to becoming the state titleholder.

time leads to their deterioration. Life expectancy for a person with Duchenne is between 16 and 26, yet with technological advancements, cutting edge treatments and advocacy this number thankfully is on the rise. Shortly after her cousin’s diagnosis, the family learned that Duchenne muscular

“Every time that I didn’t win the crown, I decided that I was going to go back and give it my all, whatever it takes,” she said onstage as part of her final answer. Her staying power and dedication comes from her experience as a Nationallevel Taekwondo athlete, a Registered Nurse and her work as an advocate for the research and funding needed to end a fatal genetic disorder called Duchenne muscular dystrophy, a diagnosis her cousin received in 2003. “I will never forget the phone we received telling us that my cousin had been diagnosed with Duchenne at the age of 4,” she recounts. “It was like the rug had been pulled out from underneath us.” Duchenne muscular dystrophy is the most common form of muscular dystrophy diagnosed in childhood and is characterized by progressive muscle loss and weakness, affecting the skeletal, heart and breathing muscles which over

results, she was followed by multiple medical students and residents and my heart sank a little, because I knew they were not there to learn how to give good news,” Jessica says. Although being a carrier is not a fatal diagnosis, there are health implications for some women, such as an enlarged heart, fatigue and sometimes even manifesting the characteristics of Duchenne. The biggest effect tends to be in the realm of family planning, as being a carrier means there is a 50% likelihood of the disorder being passed on to a future child. “This diagnosis affected every area of my life and I actually felt a lot of shame about it for a long time,” Jessica recalls. “I knew I eventually wanted a child, but how do you start that conversation? It’s not exactly something you want to bring up on a first date.”

dystrophy was commonly passed through the mother’s line of the family. Women who passed the disorder on or those that had the potential to do so were called genetic carriers. “I remember having to go to the University of Chicago to determine if I was a carrier in my early twenties. When the doctor came in to give my

Despite the fears, Jessica met her husband Dan in 2012. “Funny story, I was 2 hours late to our first date,” she remembers. “I made the strange decision to drive into Manhattan from Brooklyn on a Saturday night which, needless to say, is a big mistake.” Faux pas aside, the couple began to get more serious the following year. “I knew I had to tell Dan about my carrier status. I knew that if we got married, he also wanted children, so I CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

SHIFT+CONTROL } } {{ BEHIND THE CROWN “I decided to begin advocating several years ago because the whole idea spoke to me. I also made the connection between holding a local pageant title and using it to serve my community.”

I had to face my fears and tell him about my situation. He ultimately told me he loved me and wanted to be with me regardless, which was so special.”

advocates with the patient advocacy group Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy (PPMD) as an Advocacy Captain for the state of New York.

The couple married in 2016, and in 2019 decided to plan for a baby. They welcomed baby Coco in May of 2020.

“I decided to begin advocating several years ago because the whole idea spoke to me. I also made the connection between holding a local pageant title

“The first step for us was preconception genetic counseling and testing. I was a known carrier for Duchenne but testing for other genetic disorders that we could be a match for was important to us as well.” One of Jessica’s objectives as Mrs. New York America, in addition to working closely with the Duchenne community, is promoting the importance of making informed choices relating to a women’s reproductive health, and reproductive health in general. “As a nurse I know that there is a huge spectrum of beliefs and thoughts on this topic, and all are valid. My goal is not to tell you what is right and wrong, but simply to provide information. My husband and I ultimately decided to pursue IVF (in-vitro fertilization) and genetic testing to end this form of muscular dystrophy in our family. This is highly personal to disclose, but in order for me to relate and connect to others in a similar situation it is empowering and necessary.” Currently, Jessica volunteers and 68

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and using it to serve my community. My experience advocating for patients at different times in my nursing career combined with the fearless mental strength martial arts teaches made me the perfect candidate. I’ve worked in the operating room for basically my entire career, and I also figured if I could stay cool and communicate with

surgeons in high pressure situations, I could easily handle Washington, D.C.” Each year in March Jessica leads a delegation of advocates from around New York state down to Washington, D.C. to speak directly with lawmakers in the House and Senate. It’s really critical that our elected officials get the opportunity to hear directly from families impacted by Duchenne. My platform, “The Power of Your Story,” is just that: our real experiences connect with congress on the human level, across the aisle, in a completely bipartisan way. My heart is for the first-time advocates and people who think they don’t have the strength to speak up. The reality is sharing your personal experiences can make a huge impact on securing the funding needed to end Duchenne muscular dystrophy. And if I’ve helped a family or individual to at least contemplate doing something they never thought they could EVER do, then I’ve don’t my job.” Jessica competes for the title of a lifetime: Mrs. America on November 20, 2021 in Las Vegas, Nevada. For more information please visit: www. mrsnyamerica.com

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CHRISTINE PIACENTINO I have been advocating and fighting to end Duchenne for the past 23 years here in Rochester and in Washington DC. My son Jonathan was diagnosed at the age of 4 with Duchenne. He is now 27. With the current medical treatments, the lifespan of a Duchenne patient has increase to life into their 30’s. Not too long ago the prognosis was loss of life was prior to age 20. Duchenne muscular dystrophy is a genetic disorder characterized by the progressive loss of muscle. It affects many parts of the body, which results in deterioration of the skeletal, cardiac (heart), and pulmonary (lung) muscles. Duchenne affects approximately 1 out of every 5,000 live male births. About 20,000 children are diagnosed with Duchenne globally each year. Currently there is no cure. I’ve served on the Board of Directors for Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy (PPMD). PPMD certified the University of Rochester a comprehensive Duchenne Care Clinic in February of 2019. This was a huge win for New York State. This is the only comprehensive care clinic in New York that would use and follow the best practices of care outlined by the CDC. Jessica and I met in during Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy’s annual advocacy conference. She was advocating for her cousin, and I was advocating for my son Jonathan. PPMD’s advocacy conference is the

only officially organized gathering on Capitol Hill for the Duchenne community. It grows each year, with more and more attendees meeting their representatives and staffers, giving a face and a voice to PPMD’s advocacy agenda. I started attending in 2001 when the MD-Care-Act was introduced. For the past 20 years

PPMD has convened families for regulatory events, including federal Advisory Committee meetings and summits. These are designed to inform regulators about the Duchenne patient experience. During this time PPMD has driven paradigm-shifting federal legislation and has passed federal bills and Duchenne Specific appropriations language. Both my son and my daughter Kathryn have traveled with me to Washington to advocate for Duchenne. Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy is

a cruel disease. When Jonathan was born, I was hopeful for my son’s future. I couldn’t wait until he was independent and could talk and walk. Some mothers are born to nurture babies and toddlers. Not me. I struggled to relate to a crying infant and a toddler who couldn’t fully talk. I just couldn’t figure what my children were trying to tell me. The crying felt incessant and never ending. When both Kathryn and Jonathan could talk, feed and dress themselves, I was delighted. But Duchenne had other plans for my son. It slowly robbed my son’s independence, now at 27 he relies on me or an aide for his all his basic needs. Luckily, he can still feed himself. It was a blow to receive the diagnosis of Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, in 1997 there were no standards of care. I really wanted to just curl up in a ball and not deal with the world. It took me a few months of research to understand that I had to figure out the best approach to my son’s care on my own. That’s when I found Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy. I started attending PPMD’s annual care conference. This conference is the largest, most comprehensive, annual international conference focused entirely on Duchenne. Today it gathers nearly 500 families each year to learn the latest progress and approach to care in the fight to end Duchenne. CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

SHE HUSTLESMOTHER TALKS } } } {SHE SHIFT+CONTROL HUSTLES TALKS { {ONE TOUGH

“Duchenne muscular dystrophy is a genetic disorder characterized by the progressive loss of muscle. It affects many parts of the body, which results in deterioration of the skeletal, cardiac (heart), and pulmonary (lung) muscles.”

Today it gathers nearly 500 families each year to learn the latest progress and approach to care in the fight to end Duchenne. They also gather for support, strength, and camaraderie, and to hear from families on similar journeys. Based on the information I received there I was able to come back to Rochester and build Jonathan’s care team. I don’t have a medical background. Jonathan’s pediatrician told me that I knew more about Duchenne than she did. I was in very unfamiliar territory educating doctor’s and specialists on the care my son should have. I was determined to make the lives of the families dealing with Duchenne a lot less scary and provide hope for the future and provide the best quality of life I could for my son. I did this all while working full time and raising my family. There is still a lot of work to do to extend the prognosis of this disease. There are still far too many Duchenne patients passing away in their teens and early twenties. Through my work with PPMD. My son’s quality of life greatly improved, 72

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and his lifespan has been extended by 10 years. As a result, my son has been able to achieve his Eagle Scout rank, a bachelor’s degree in Biology with a minor in Toxicology and Chemistry. He has taken part in Clinical trials for medications that

and is currently serving as on the Steering Committee to update the Community Led Guidance for the FDA on Duchenne. My daughter Kathryn is 30 and has grown into a beautiful smart and compassionate woman. She ran the Chicago and New York Marathon’s twice to fundraise and raise awareness for Duchenne, through the Race to End Duchenne. Hope this provided a little background on me. Please let me know if you have any questions.

change the face of Duchenne. He and I have both presented to the FDA on benefit risk and provided the patient voice on Duchenne Specific Drugs. He has served on a Peer Reviewer for the Department of Defense – Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy Research Programs (DMDRP)

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SHINING WITH COURAGE YOU ARE ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUXOF WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIOCARDWELL BY KATIE FLAHERTY I PHOTOS LAURA MARINO & CHRISTOPHER

Did you know that Nearly 1 in 5 women in the United States have been raped at some time in their lives? Nearly a quarter (24.8%) of men in the U.S. experience some form of sexual violence. Most female victims (42.2%) experienced their first completed rape before the age of 18 years. More than one-quarter of male victims (27.8%) experienced their first rape when they were 10 years of age or younger.

voice, with no support as you are being reminded daily to not share these experiences with anyone as you will be sent to hell with no way out. Being 5 years old, you have no idea what hell means. But you do know it is a bad place where nobody will

Imagine going through your life as child, through the eyes of an innocent little girl. A little girl that loved making mud pies, playing with rollie polies, swinging on the swing set, taking long walks with grandma, dressing up in grandma’s dresses, skirts, heels, pearls and pretending to drive in her 2 door maroon 1970s car. One who was being sexually assaulted by an outside member of the family and being too young to understand what was happening. Nobody knew what was happening and there were no signs of unusual activity. As a child, being rewarded with every act as if it seems like it’s supposed to happen. So, it must be normal right? Even if it seemed normal, these acts were not only horrifying but they make you feel isolated and alone…. with no 74

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ever find you again. When you get older and understand, you feel as if you have done something wrong and since you are in so much fear and suffering, you feel as if you are unworthy. Unworthy to deserve love, respect, safety, and even hope. This story not only reflects my life, but so

many others who have fallen victim to being sexually assaulted. Sexual Assault doesn’t discriminate or have boundaries. It can come in many forms, affects men and women of all ages. Many forms of abusers could be a friend, neighbor, family member or even a stranger. Sexual abuse can create emotional and physical consequences. So many times, we feel we must do it alone. First there are the emotional consequence. You deal with guilt, unworthiness, self-hatred, depression, lack of purpose, trust issues, anxiety, affecting relationships first with yourself and then creating healthy relationships with others. It creates constant fear and no matter how many good things happen you are always waiting for something bad to happen. This causes so much anxiety daily. About 33% of women have contemplated suicide and 13% attempted suicide. Depression is the number one effect of suffering from a sexual disorder or dysfunction. Mainly because you feel inferior to others, not able to make your spouse or significant other happy, feelings of being a failure, loss of purpose and fear of rejection. Never in my life did I feel so ashamed

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{ HEAL. EMPOWER. RECLAIM. } { SHIFT+CONTROL } “Sexual Assault doesn’t discriminate or have boundaries. It can come in many forms, affects men and women of all ages.”

and I fell in the 13% statistic of trying to take my life. I attempted suicide twice in my lifetime and considered it on numerous occasions. Why? All because of one condition that seemed like not a lot of professionals were aware of and unable to help. All this from the sexual abuse when I was just a child. Traumatic events stay with you for your whole life. It can take years to heal and reclaim your life.

First, BECOME YOUR GREATEST ADVOCATE: Listen to your body and maybe identify what you are experiencing, signs & symptoms, paying attention to yourself. You

The message I would like to share is the following:

If you have gone through this experience and feel you are in a place of helping others, please feel free to contact me through Shine with Courage Foundation as I am seeking mentors that can be there for others. You are NOT alone! Resources: https://www.nsvrc.org/ statistics www.shinewithcourage. org

Next, there is the physical consequences: physical scars, pain, suffering, sexual dysfunction, pelvic pain and disorders, medical conditions and not sure where to seek help. C u r r e n t l y, a s President & Founder of Shine with Courage Foundation, I have found that there is a reason for everything that happens in your life. As a sexual assault survivor, I didn’t have resources available to me.

professionals. You can reach out to my Non-profit that can provide resources at www.shinewithcourage.org.

are the expert of your body, listen to your body and identify signs. Secondly, seek support, reach out to qualified organizations & healthcare CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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CONNECTIONS, COMPASSION & COMMUNITY BY DR SHANELLE BENSON REID

Recently, I was target on social media “Dr. Benson Reid needs to be asked about teaching Critical Race Theory within our K-12 schools. She is very much into equity within the schools and training projects. I’m all for diversity but not teaching children that the color of their skin makes them immoral, indoctrination.” As we grapple with how to respond, we must first understand now is the time to design our new normal and if hearing diversity, equity and inclusion causes you to think in terms of Black vs White perhaps you are the real problem. When it comes to designing workspaces, let’s be intentional about cultivating organizations that are diverse and all inclusive, for those who are less informed, this is not Critical Race Theory. Creating environments that embrace people from diverse backgrounds and situations is a complicated process that requires broad thinking and deliberate actions; at minimum, these environments need to foster an understanding of local, regional, national and global cultural and social conditions (ageism, ableism, sexism, racism, etc.). S.E.L.E.C.T. METHOD The S.E.L.E.C.T. Diversity and Inclusion Method was designed to address these needs. The S.E.L.E.C.T. Method identifies strategies for creating environments that promote connection, compassion and community. These S.E.L.E.C.T. institutions prioritize the well-being

of members of the organization. Furthermore, environments that promote connection, compassion and community are able to confront crises with innovative solutions and diverse perspectives. Settings that adopt this method adjust to changes in the economy and the environment and are able to recover from unforeseen situations. When organizations are motivated by connection, compassion and community, the outcomes benefit everyone. This leads to solving problems constructively and collectively. The S.E.L.E.C.T. Me t h o d ( So c i a l Aw a re n e s s , Equity Advancement, Leadership Development, Employee Retention, Cultural Receptiveness and Team Dynamics) emphasizes the importance of relationship building, authentic communication, skill acquisition and collective inclusion.

thus enhancing collaboration and compassion.

SOCIAL AWARENESS Social Awareness allows people to view and comprehend the perspectives of others, despite differences. Being socially aware encourages and empathetic view of people who represent diverse backgrounds and situations. Professional, it promotes understanding and compassion among members of the organization. Understanding the social conditions of others fosters inclusiveness, responsibility and emotional intelligence. This allows members of the organization to constructively communicate as they pay attention to body language and listen with intent. In this manner, socially aware people become advocates for one another,

LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT Leadership Development, now more than ever, must be teamdriven rather than individual driven. Leadership development focuses on creating leaders who emphasize collaboration, adjust to situations, share decision-making and appreciate the knowledge and abilities of their coworkers. Leadership development reinforces bonds between workers by acknowledging the value and perspective of each team member, which leads to understanding and inclusiveness. With this dynamics, leaders motivate and inspire team members and thus promote the growth of other leaders in the organization. This ultimately

EQUITY ADVANCEMENT Equity is the assurance of being treated fairly, access to opportunities, and advancement for all people, while working to recognize and get rid of obstacles that prevent people from diverse backgrounds and situations to fully participate in any organizations. Equitable learning and advancement is one way of making sure that people form various backgrounds are included and supported in the organization. Equity advancement encourages connection, compassion and community in the organization by applying the full capability of human creativity, talent, and innovation needed to drive education, research, and service, which sustain the institution.

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{ ALL ACCESS } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “, I would also like to say, if hearing diversity, equity and inclusion causes you to think in terms of black vs white perhaps you are the real problem.”

y increases employee retention and promotes an organizational culture where communication, innovation and creativity are key. Leadership development ensures that leaders of a team are equipped with the entrepreneurial, social and cultural tools necessary for self-efficacy and increased productivity in an ever-changing and diverse business environment.

more vital. Cultural receptiveness provides the base for accepting and understanding people from diverse backgrounds and situations. It promotes empathetic and active listening, acceptance and respect for cultural differences through

EMPLOYEE RETENTION Employee retention is when employees choose to continue working with their current company and do not intentionally look for other employment opportunities. Benefits to employee retention include decreased spending on new-hire training / development and increased productivity. Employee retention promotes connections and collaboration by minimizing high turnover rates and encouraging work place relationships, which allows the organization to be more attentive to product and service delivery. Creating an organizational climate that values employees improves retention and therefore advances the organization. CULTURAL RECEPTIVENESS Relationship building, whether with employees, customer and or community; is key to the success of an organization. As the world becomes more diverse, building relationships has become more challenging, but 82

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perception. Culturally receptive companies create policies that promote diversity and inclusion, and train their employees to develop cultural competency skills. When employees are culturally competent, they form better relationships within the organization, which leads to increased efficiency and employee

retention. Cultural receptiveness promotes collaboration, creativity and innovation, which ultimately offers the company a competitive advantage in the global marketplace. TEAM DYNAMICS Te a m D y n a m i c s i s t h e unconscious, psychological forces that influence the direction of a team’s behavior and performance. Teams bring people with diverse skills, perspectives and experiences together to create ideas, innovations and strategies. The dynamics in teams are created by personalities and interactions, which grow and evolve over time. Teams with positive group dynamics tends to have team members who trust each other and are accountable to one another; they tend to operate as a single unit. Effective team dynamics are vital to the growth and development of the organization. SUMMARY For the person who questions my work and my motives, I hope this offers a greater understanding. Furthermore, I would also like to say, if hearing diversity, equity and inclusion causes you to think in terms of black vs white perhaps you are the real problem.

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MEET ERIN HURLEY BY KRISTIN BAUER-GROSS I PHOTO BY DAN DOYLE PHOTOGRAPHY

As an actor, commercial model and business coach to models and actors, my column here often shares auditioning tips, acting advice, confidence building strategies, and projects related to my “Courage to Dream” mission which is to empower women and girls to go after their dreams. This month, I am excited to share an interview with Erin Hurley. Erin is an actor, model & advocate based right here in the Rochester area! Erin, what do you want Rochester Woman readers to know about you? My name is Erin Marie Hurley - Actor/Model/ Advocate. I was born with Down Syndrome. It’s not an illness. It means I have 47 Chromosomes instead of 46, but being a little different is not a bad thing. I am more like you than different. I live with my parents and dog Minnie. I have an older Sister, Kerrie. I have tremendous family support. I was born prematurely and had a lot of medical issues as a baby. I was completely tube fed through my stomach and learned to eat by mouth at age 3. I stayed at a special feeding institute in Baltimore MD. The hole in my stomach was closed surgically at age 8. I also had major stomach surgery and heart surgery. I have survived a lot of medical obstacles. I have dreams and goals for my future

like anyone else. I’d like to attend college for meteorology as well as be an actor/ model. My ultimate acting goal is to get a part on Disney or Nickelodeon Channel. I love to be active and social. Some of my accomplishments include: Playing the trombone, piano, Hip Hop and Jazz dance lessons: dance recitals, Therapeutic horseback riding, acting in productions with Bristol Valley Theater

in Naples, NY, and the Cobblestone Arts Center in Farmington, NY. I have interviewed with Nickelodeon and Disney Channels. A snip it of a video I submitted to Disney was on a “Girl Meets World” episode at the end of January 2017. My photo was recently on EWTN Global Catholic Network for World Down Syndrome Day. I was on PBS Homework Hotline and featured on the “Move to include” segment. I am a Big advocate for inclusiveness. I’ve been a lector at

church and an Ambassador for Best Buddies Rochester, NY. I have spoken at several of their events. I was also in the first integrated fashion show in the Rochester area held at Nazareth College. I have my own golf cart that I drive independently. I might have to work harder but I enjoy my life and having Down Syndrome hasn’t and won’t prevent me from accomplishing my goals. Who are some of your role models? My mom and my sister, Kerrie are positive role-models that influence me. They help me to advocate for myself so I can succeed in life. My mom brings out the best in me. She doesn’t like to hear me say “I can’t”. She’s always telling me to say “I can.” To be more confident! My mom gets me involved in many different activities. She doesn’t want me to be treated differently. She’s understanding and wants me to believe in myself. My sister Kerrie loves me and never treats me as having a disability (she’s actually a little hard on me but in a good way). I look up to her because she’s a hard worker, achiever, and successful in her job. She’s also very fashionable. She inspires and motivates me to work to my true potential. CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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{ COACHING WITH KRISTIN B. } { SHIFT+CONTROL } “My mom and my sister, Kerrie are positive role-models that influence me. They help me to advocate for myself so I can succeed in life.”

The actor-role models that are significant to me are some Disney actors/actresses: Sofia Carsen-American actress and singer, the late Cameron Boyce a very talented dancer and entertainer, Meg Donnelly who has acted in movies with positive messages of acceptance and to “just be yourself”-- don’t try to be something you are not.

in front of a camera. This is when I started acting lessons at Bristol Valley Theater in Naples, NY. What would you say to women and girls who feel like something is holding them back from pursuing any dream that feels impossible?

What is your dream assignment? My dream assignment would be to portray a new character in a Disney movie such as: A princess or Super Hero with Down Syndrome (yes, this should be acknowledged). Also, I am a big fan of John Stamos! So, having an assignment on Fuller House would be a dream! Where do you see the model and acting industry going in the next 10 years? I think the acting and model industry is changing. In the next ten years, I would like the industry to include people of all abilities. The industry needs more representation of diverse talent. It needs to be all inclusive. What got you interested in modeling & acting? Since I was 12, I have always tried to imitate and memorize lines from Disney Channel shows and movies. I would always dance and sing in public. People would tell my mom if I didn’t already take acting lessons that I should because I am very friendly and outgoing and appeared comfortable and confident 90

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I would say “never give up”. To keep on trying and do your Best. Nothing is impossible despite being difficult. It does take a lot of hard work and perseverance to succeed. What are you most looking forward to in the coming years? I am looking forward to the pandemic

ending and getting back to doing my normal activities. I want to do in person acting classes and theater productions again. Also, I am looking forward to being selected for some acting and modeling jobs. What role has Kristin Bauer-Gross played in your career? It has been such a pleasure working with Kristin Bauer-Gross. At first my mom was hesitant about committing to such an expense, but she has had no regrets. Kristin is so knowledgeable and honest about the acting/modeling industry. She has shared so much of her experience with me. Kristin has shown tremendous support and excitement for me to further my acting/modeling career. My mom was very impressed that Kristin made an effort to learn about and understand Down Syndrome so she could help me better. She was always attentive and listened to what I had to say. She’s very patient and responded quickly to any questions my mom or I had. My mom and I cannot say enough wonderful things about Kristin. We like her style of teaching and appreciate all her help with being in a fashion show together, having a professional photo-shoot, professional make-up lessons, informative on-line classes, getting started on a business Instagram page, and this feature in Rochester Woman Online. Thank you very much Kristin-- You are Amazing, and we look forward to

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{ COACHING WITH KRISTIN { SHIFT+CONTROL } B. } “I have dreams and goals for my future like anyone else. I’d like to attend college for meteorology as well as be an actor/model. My ultimate acting goal is to get a part on Disney or Nickelodeon Channel.”

working with you more in the Future! Follow Erin and her adventures as an actor, model and public speaker on Instagram @Erin.Marie.Hurley Have an assignment for Erin? She is represented by Tamara’s Models & Talent www.TMTBookings.com Interested in getting started or leveling up your modeling or acting endeavors? 92

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Looking for part time, full time, supplemental or retirement income or a fun hobby you are passionate about? Drop Kristin Bauer-Gross a message on www.KristinB.com to learn about her classes and coaching programs. Catch my free IGTV series “Talent Toolbox” on Instagram @ KristinBCoaching Get my FREE Printable Checklist

to make Packing and Preparing for Photoshoots a breeze at: www.KristinB. com/checklist

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CAROL LEFLEUR YOU ARE ENOUGH. BY NICOLE WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO PHOTOS OFHEROUX K. VICTORIA PHOTOGRAPHY & MURRAY YARAVITZ

It is with heavy hearts that we regret to share the news of our beloved friend and the CEO and leader of the Northeast Kidney Foundation, Carol Lefluer’s passing on June 22nd, 2021. For over a year she fought an incredibly courageous battle against colon cancer. She fought her disease with positivity and strength every step of the way. Carol joined the foundation back in 2002 and from there on out she dedicated her life to the Northeast Kidney Foundation and its mission. She helped so many suffering from kidney disease and other kidney related ailments. She was always giving back to her local community and helping others where she could. Our thoughts are with her family, particularly her son and beloved grandsons. We thank Carol for all she has done for the Northeast Kidney Foundation and the local kidney patients and their families. She leaves behind a wonderful legacy and she will be greatly missed by all. She was a friend, a mother, and most of all an incredible inspiration that will leave a long and lasting impression on all of those who had the pleasure of working with or meeting her. I know that all of us at Rochester Woman Online will miss her, and 94

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we will go on helping to build the legacy she built for decades. We ask everyone who has had the pleasure of meeting her to donate to the Northeast Kidney Foundation in her honor in efforts to continue all

Carol A. LaFleur Memorial Fund will award patients, patient family members, or medical caregivers who are pursuing a degree, obtaining a professional certification, or learning a new job skill. This is individual will be recognized for their courage, strength, determination, and generosity of spirit. Given Carol’s display of courage, strength, and determination during her journey with cancer, we felt this was the best way to memorialize her legacy. It was Carol‘s wish to see the Foundation thrive and continue to help so many in the kidney community. Please help us keep Carol’s legacy alive. We also would like to invite you to Save The Date of Sunday, December 12th to join us in Syracuse, NY at the Marriott Hotel Downtown as we pay tribute to Carol with the 2021 Catwalk For Kidneys. Let’s make this one the biggest ever in her honor.

of the amazing work she has done throughout these years.

MEMORIAL FUND

As a tribute to Carol’s commitment to the foundation and the kidney community, we are organizing an annual memorial scholarship. The

If you are interested in helping in any way, donating your time or services, or monetary donations for the NEKF, please contact Sharon Johnson at sharon@healthykidneys.org or visit the website for more information at www.healthykidneys.org

{ A INSPIRING SPECIAL TRIBUTE } } { CNY WOMAN

CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

{ AASPECIAL SPECIALTRIBUTE TRIBUTE}} “Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.”

WWW.HEALTHYKIDNEYS.ORG

{{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS} } } SHIFT+CONTROL { WOMAN ENTREPRENEUR

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HER OWN WORDS { {WOMAN ENTREPRENEUR {INSHIFT+CONTROL } } }

A FRESH START BY SAMANTHA LAPOINTE I PHOTOS BY

My father was never in the picture and I never understood why. My mom would tell me that it was because he wasn’t a good person. She shielded me from him for good reason, and I would quickly learn for myself just why. When I was 10 years old, after my father got out of prison (for what seemed to be the 500th time), I begged my mom to let me spend my summer break at his house. She hesitantly agreed to let me go stay with him and his wife at the time, against her better judgement. I was there for about a month, and one day my stepmother and stepsister went out somewhere. It was just my father and I at home. I remember very clearly a man knocking on the door. My father let him in and I watched as they exchanged something. Drugs? Money? To this day I’m still not one hundred percent sure exactly what it was. But, after the exchange I remember my father allowing this man to take me into my father’s room and rape me. At 10 years old my innocence was stolen from me by the hands of my father. He allowed this to happen to me. I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I knew it was wrong. I just cried. Then when my stepmom got home, I asked her to bring me back home to my mom’s house. I never told my mom what had really happened that day. I just told her that I just wanted to come home.

Throughout junior high and high school, I looked for love in all the wrong places and often got hurt. School was never my strong suit. At the age of 17 I convinced my mom to let me drop out of high school. She told me that If I was going to drop out I was going to work and also get my G.E.D. I worked two full-time jobs, and tried taking G.E.D. classes.

pregnant with my son Alex. Eight months after starting at Job Corps, in October of 2005, I graduated with my Culinary Arts degrees, my G.E.D. and even got my drivers license. I came back home, and began working to save up for my new baby. My son’s father graduated and moved to my hometown too. I then had my son at just 19 years old. While that seemed great at the time, I learned that it was all about to change. We got our own apartment, and then things began to get even more toxic with my son’s father than I previously thought they even were. He began to cheat on me with multiple women, and then became extremely physically and mentally abusive. We eventually got evicted from our apartment as a result of the police being called so frequently from the abuse. While he found himself a new apartment, my mother wouldn’t let me come back home. So I ended up in a shelter with my son. I was there for 4 months.

The G.E.D. classes weren’t for me. So, at 18 years old my mom signed me up for Job Corps. I went to Job Corps in February of 2005 and I began my trade of Culinary Arts, and took my G.E.D. classes there. It’s at Job Corps, where I met my eldest son’s father. That had quickly proved to be a toxic relationship, but before I knew it, I found out I was

In the 4 months that I was in the shelter with my son, I began talking to my youngest son’s father. He knew a homeless shelter was no place to have a child, so he asked me to move to New Jersey to be with him. My mom caught wind of this and did what any other supportive parent would do [insert sarcasm here], she took me to court for custody of my son and tried to paint an

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{ WOMAN ENTREPRENEUR { IN HER OWN WORDS } } “It gives me such pride and pleasure to look back, and to see everything I’ve gone through. To be able to give my kids a better life, and a mother that they can be proud of. ”

and tried to paint an awful picture of me as a mother. The judge saw right through her bogus claims, and ruled in my favor. I moved to New Jersey and began working immediately. Then after about 6 months, I found out that I was pregnant with my youngest son, Angel. We moved into a bigger apartment, and I was working at a job that I hated. At the time, this job was all that I could find. The area that we moved to was predominantly Spanish populated. While I spoke Spanish, it wasn’t perfect, so I couldn’t find any jobs to hire me. So I decided to enroll in Beauty School. Angel has severe Asthma, and would constantly get bronchitis and pneumonia, as a result of the air pollution from the city. So, I would have to miss a lot of school and stay with him in the hospital for weeks at a time, while his Father worked. I began to get behind in school, and would often have to stay late and go to classes on the weekends, to make up for the hours I was missing. I was 14 days away from graduation, when my son’s Father dropped the bomb on me, that he wanted to seperate. I didn’t have enough money saved to cover another month of rent, so I had to move back home to my Mom’s in NY. A while after I moved back, We could tell there was something going on with my son Alex, but we couldn’t figure out what it was. He would throw himself down screaming uncontrollably, and was unable to use his words at the age of 3, to tell us what was wrong. He was also extremely hyper. My Mom got fed up with it, so in the middle of the night, she told me to get my kids and get out of her house (to put it nicely). I went 102

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back to the shelter, this time with 2 kids, instead of just 1. I worked my butt off, and saved as much as I could. After about 6 months, I was able to get me and my kids our own apartment. It was really rough starting out. I had nothing for my apartment, no couch, no beds, nothing. But little by little, everything seemed to be falling into place. I was able to get everything I needed for my apartment, and also a car! By this time, it was time for Alex to start school, and the doctor suggested having him evaluated by the child study team at school. He was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD at the age of 4. I got him into the proper programs for him in school, and on some medications that would help him to be able to function better, and he started doing much better. At the age of 13, I took Alex to his pediatrician to get some bloodwork done, because I could tell there was something else wrong with him. He was diagnosed with type-1 diabetes. I beat myself up over this for so long, until the doctor said to me one day. “You know this isn’t your fault right? Alex was born with this, but it doesn’t always present itself until later in life. There is nothing you could have done to prevent this.” I’m often still found questioning myself on that. But I try to not let it get the best of me, and I just thank God that we’re getting his diabetes under control, and managing it better now. I began going to college full-time, on top of working 2 full-time jobs, as a single mother. I was studying Spanish and general studies. While I loved knowing that I was doing something, no one in my immediate family had ever done, it became increasingly overwhelming.

I never imagined working, going to school and taking care of 2 kids on my own would be such a daunting task. I finished my first year, and had to take some time away from college. I barely ever got to see my kids, and my mental state was really suffering. So I had to make that sacrifice. I guess it wasn’t a huge loss. My Spanish is pretty great now. So I don’t know why I felt the need to go to college for it. One day when I brought my boys into the barbershop to get their hair cut, I met Alex, My (Now) ex-husband. The relationship was great, until it wasn’t. After about 6 months, it began to get very toxic. We stuck it out and managed to hold on to things for about 5 years, and ultimately decided to divorce. We seperated and I moved into a new home with my boys, and bought myself a brand new car! In addition to everything Alex was already going through, Angel had now been diagnosed with ADHD & O.D.D. He has severe anger issues at times, as well. When Angel was 8 years old, he lost his very Best friend in a house fire. This hit our whole family very hard. They were extremely close, like Brothers even. Angel began to spiral down after the loss. Angel gave me the scare of a lifetime one day while I was driving. He pulled up his sleeves to show me that he had cut his arms all up. When I saw this, I nearly crashed my car. I immediately got Angel to the ER, where he was admitted for a 24-hour psychiatric hold. Then transferred to a children’s Psychiatric hospital on Thanksgiving day. I had Thanksgiving dinner in there with my son that year. He was in that hospital for 1 month,

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{ WOMAN ENTREPRENEUR { IN HER OWN WORDS } } “Contrary to what you must be thinking after having read this, My Mom is all I have. She’s the strongest, most amazing woman I’ve ever known.”

then was able to come home. School and home life have both been extremely difficult for Angel ever since. He’s easily one of the most intelligent kids I’ve ever met, well beyond his years. However, his anger and aggression often cause him extreme difficulties in school. He’s often getting into fights and suspended from school. So as a result, I’ve lost a couple jobs in the past. But day by day, we continue to work harder at managing his difficulties. I began working as a full-time Residence Counselor, and also got into Photography and Modeling. I also found a love for makeup, as well. I opened up a photography studio with my (now former) business partner. Soon after he professed his “Love” for me, and I didn’t feel the same way. He then thought it best for us to part ways as business partners. So, what does one do when this happens? I started my own Photography business, and I also began working as a freelance Makeup artist, on top of my full-time job. Doing this all as a single Mother is most definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I know seeing my Mom go through everything she has, has definitely helped me be the best Mother that I know how to be. Contrary to what you must

be thinking after having read this, My Mom is all I have. She’s the strongest, most amazing woman I’ve ever known. And the best Mother I could ever ask for. She helps me immensely with my kids, and has for quite a few years now. I could never repay her for everything

seen many hardships throughout our relationship. But this has only helped us to become closer. It has also shown me things that I would do differently in being a Mother to my kids. I didn’t come from much, but I couldn’t be more grateful for the life my Mother has given me. It gives me such pride and pleasure to look back, and to see everything I’ve gone through. To be able to give my kids a better life, and a Mother that they can be proud of.

that she’s done for me. Seeing her as a parent going through her struggles and accomplishments, has taught me to work hard, and to truly appreciate my life and everything I have in it. Mine and my Mom’s relationship has definitely had its ups and down. We’ve CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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WOMAN

STARTING AT $199 INFLUENTIALWOMANONLINE.COM

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BODY CHAT BY HILLARY WELLES

THE WICKED STEPMOTHER: HOW TO STOP HER CONTROL AND RESET YOUR BODY IMAGE Body issues, anyone? Hell, yes, sister! I’ve had them all. Well, maybe not all, but a pretty good overall sampling. Let’s take an inventory, shall we? Body dysmorphia, bulimia, “borderline anorexia,” yo-yo dieting, binge eating, exercise addiction, orthorexia (obsessive calorie counting – I just learned there’s a word for it), fear of consuming fat (is there a word for that?), hating my belly, hating my thighs, hating my butt, hating my neck, and, for good measure, general self-loathing. Have I left anything out? Now that I’m in my 50s I can gratefully say I’ve moved beyond most of that. Most days, I can generally love and accept myself (even though, if I’m being totally honest, I still wish I had the body of a Victoria’s Secret Angel). I’ve spent upwards of 30 years working on healing my relationship with my body – and I still have “fat” days where I spend hours morbidly contemplating the ripples on my thighs or finding angles in the mirror that don’t show my (perceived or real?) spare tire. But in general, I just don’t care as much anymore. I am done investing my energy in self-loathing and the pursuit of perfection. Through years of struggle 108

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and exploration, I have now developed ways to accept my body, FOR REAL. It’s one of the perks of getting older. I’ve realized that there are so many better uses for my energy than worrying about how I look or how others perceive me. When I told my therapist I cared less and less about anyone’s opinion, she said, “Congratulations! Welcome to your F**k You 50s!” So…how’s your body image today? This column is all about keeping it real, so I’m going to be brutally honest. It’s for your own good and for the good of ALL of us. Because if you ‘re like me – and over 90% of women in the United States – the reality is that your body image is SHIT. According to DoSomething.org, approximately 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and go on diets to achieve their ideal body shape - even though only 5% of women have the body type portrayed as “ideal” in mainstream American media. https:// www.dosomething.org/us/facts/11facts-about-body-image Know this: Your shitty body image is NOT YOUR FAULT. I blame the critical voice in our heads that blooms the moment we realize we are no longer the perfect infants everyone croons over and praises – the moment we realize that we are walking, talking beings who DON’T LIVE UP to the IDEAL. The voice grows louder every time we get that disappointed look from our parents. When our friends make fun of us. When our teacher shames us. When we’re told we’re “too”: too loud, too ugly, too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too shy,

too, too, too…. I call that voice the Wicked Stepmother. Here’s the truth: You will NEVER be good enough for the Wicked Stepmother. She doesn’t WANT you to be good enough. Like Cinderella sweeping the hearth or Snow White banished to the forest, she wants to keep you small, worried, uncertain, timid, scared, selfsabotaging, self-doubting, self-criticizing. She poisons you every day with her toxic judgments to make sure you will be so consumed with trying to live up to an unattainable ideal that you won’t have the energy to step into your authentic power. Because what could be more threatening to the Wicked Stepmother than you, the princess, stepping out of your horsedrawn carriage, dressed in all your finery, wielding the uncompromising power of your true influence? Unfortunately, you can’t do that until you overcome your fear of the Wicked Stepmother’s criticism. I’m not going to lie and tell you that she will shut up or that you’ll get rid of her. She is a part of you and she likely always will be. She was created, in a twisted way, to keep you safe. Young “you” thought you needed to conform to people’s judgments to avoid criticism, punishment, and ostracism, and the Wicked Stepmother made sure you knew just how you were doing. But now that you are an intelligent, functional, influential adult…what can you do? You’re going to have to beat the Wicked Stepmother at her own game. Trick her into working FOR you instead of

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{ {INFLUENTIAL HUSTLESWOMAN TALKS}} } { SHE SHIFT+CONTROL “As you inhale, take charge of your life force energy. As you exhale, breathe out toxic thoughts and beliefs.“

AGAINST you! Here’s how. Two Easy Steps to Tricking the Wicked Stepmother 1. STOP. A dear friend and mentor of mine once told me there are only three words that matter in life: Yes, No, and Stop. I’ve found STOP to be the best ally in combating the Wicked Stepmother’s incessant chatter. When she starts in on me, telling me I’m too fat, I need to lose weight, I shouldn’t have eaten that, or I should work out harder, I just say, “STOP!” She’s so surprised that I stood up to her that she actually does stop!

2. BREATHE After you’ve temporarily silenced the Wicked Stepmother with STOP, thank her. This is important. Remember, she was originally created as a protection. She really thinks she is helping you. So, say, “Thank you, Wicked Stepmother, for making me stronger.” Then, close your eyes and BREATHE.

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As you inhale, take charge of your life force energy. As you exhale, breathe out toxic thoughts and beliefs. Sense your body and your posture. Sense how it shifts as you breathe. Picture the breath traveling in waves up and down your spine. Do this for at least one minute, then slowly open your eyes to a calmer, energized, centered YOU! Great job confronting the Wicked Stepmother! As you move on into your day, remember: No matter how thin, toned, sculpted, starved, curvy, or fabulous you are, you will NEVER live up to her impossible standards. Trying to please her is a waste of your precious life force energy - energy that you could be using for sharing your powerful influence with the world. And the world needs YOU!

Building a powerful STOP takes practice. The Wicked Stepmother is persistent, and she will resent you for shutting her up. You’ll have to commit to telling her STOP every time she starts in on you again. To supercharge your STOP, add movement! In SuperCORE Fitness, we have a move called “Stop Chop” that is super-powerful for setting boundaries and breaking toxic thought patterns. Take the side of your hand and chop down like you’re chopping a piece of wood. Repeat this with alternating hands, saying “Stop!” out loud. Repeating this exercise for 30 seconds every day will help you break the cycle of the Wicked Stepmother’s criticism.

your body image!

Closing your eyes turns your energy inward toward the higher wisdom that lives inside you. Breathe long and deeply, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. In SuperCORE we call this “Connect Breath” because it connects you to YOU. The ESSENCE of you that is confident, authentic, and wise. Connect Breath calms your nervous system and re-centers you into the present moment. The Wicked Stepmother has no power here. Now that you’re HERE, you can reclaim

I am here to help you to develop tools to build a healthy relationship with your body, just as I have done. I’m always exploring and seeking greater health and understanding, and I am excited to share it with YOU! I also want to hear YOUR stories and questions. Please feel free to write and share your own struggles and triumphs at influentialwomanhillary@gmail.com. Come join me for a SuperCORE Fitness class and discover more about how breath and movement can heal, re-energize, and condition you to be your most powerful self! https://supercorefit.com/

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RELEASE THE CHAINS BY DR. PAM DENTON

UNSTOPPABLE WOMAN! UNLOCK YOUR CHAINS & SET YOURSELF FREE! You have the power to live from limitless possibilities. You can channel the power you need to attract abundance. It will require activating the energy of your feminine power.

with unstoppable passion. This woman in chains was one of the lessons that built my SuperCORE Program for Leadership. She found me somehow. I believe someone, somewhere had told her I could help her. She entered my office fully wrapped

In order to get the full scope of this unstoppable message, rewind with me to the year 2001 and my business operations…...

In this clinical moment, as with many, I had to learn quickly how to hold sacred space and look for a solution to the restriction of feminine power.

I relied on referrals, word of mouth, and occasionally an advertisement in the local paper.

With my open attitude, the universe would usher in new lessons, experiences that have contributed to the programs I use to guide women to expand business, increase money making power, and lead

As with many of the women I have worked with over the years, the woman in chains had limited resources and felt that she could not move away from him. She believed that she had no way to protect herself. Many thoughts raced through my mind. “Had she been chained by this man in her past lives?” “Was the torture a real representation of the trauma she had once felt as a child?”

I was a new mom, a new doctor, delivering a new age healing technique in a very conservative town.

In order to grow my business I had to network, make immediate connections. I learned quickly that in order to make money I needed to be open, caring, and non-judgemental. I truly believed in naturally attracting the clients that would help me grow a transformational business. I opened myself to the power of the universe and learned to receive higher source guidance. I became a very spiritually driven business leader.

was being psychically attacked by her neighbor, an evil man with very dark energy. She felt energetically violated and unsafe. She felt controlled, frozen in her pain, and trapped in the darkness. A space that I could relate to.

from her shoulders to her ankles in industrial sized chains connected with padlocks, and no keys. Her pelvic area was the most protected area. I quickly ushered her into a private room and with a deep breath we were on our way into discussing her dilemma. I asked “why the chains?” She informed me that the intense fear of a dark energetic attacker had caused her to protect herself with heavy metal chains. She shared with me that she

The woman in chains represents many of the energetic and physical cases I have worked with over the years. I realized many years later that a fast way out of the darkness of fear and control is through channeling a higher energy. Women have been through alot of historical pain, domination, and control. We have fears that hold us captive. The unstoppable woman can break this cycle through a higher vibrational energy channeled in the body through breath, intuition, and movement. The lower energy wants you to be stuck in fear. The higher energy that can be CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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{ UNSTOPPABLE WOMAN { SHIFT+CONTROL } } “You have the power to live from limitless possibilities. You can channel the power you need to attract abundance.”

generated through your core wants to break you free you from your limitations. It is what I like to call expansionary energy and this energy will break you free from pain and suffering once you learn how to build your Core Intelligence (CQ).

I was the light. I held the light that the woman in chains needed to protect herself. I now know women need to channel the higher vibrational light.

SuperCORE will re-ignite that spark of vital life force energy within you and will help you begin to channel the light, open to new intuitive guidance, empower your actions, and download higher self information. Every SuperCORE technique is scientifically designed to reboot your nervous system, stimulate your metabolic fire, and strengthen and condition your body and mind from the inside out. The techniques build on each other to create an overall strategy that stacks results when practiced regularly. As you build the core transformer you will begin to break free from the heaviness of your past, break free from fear, and step courageously into your future success and prosperity.

The protection she wanted was something we now teach in SuperCORE classes. The classes and sessions are designed to guide women to build transformative

In order to break free, the darkness and low vibration needs to be transmuted. Your beliefs need to be changed. Your vision can become expansionary and

Releasing the pain and torment can set you free forever! And it will open doorways of possibility. The woman in chains came to me because I believed I could help her. I knew that she could shift her perspective and begin to manifest a new life, free from the darkness of torment and pain.

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energy that releases the negative and generates positive energy.

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you can begin to see, feel and use your higher self guidance for your advantage. And, you must be willing to use the keys, unlock your chains, and set yourself free! The moral of this real story: You own the keys to your freedom. You can set yourself free from the chains holding you back. To get there, to move into expansion, you will need to begin to move the stagnant and stuck energy, shift into a new vibration and embrace your inner power to transform and break free! Ask yourself, what will it take for you to break free? Dr. Pam Denton leads regular classes in SuperCORE to help women build core intelligence. Her visionary energy medicine has guided thousands of women to cross over from fear into empowered action. For more on Dr. Pam visit www.drpamdenton.com and www.supercorefit.com

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THREE MIND-BLOWING TRUTHS ABOUT THE PAST BY MICHELLE HORTON I PHOTOS BY ALICE G PATTERSON PHOTOGRAPHY

Not that long ago, I was a high school principal in a small rural community in northern New York. It was an interesting place where my students struggled with blending the traditions of the past with their emerging excitement about the power, freedom and accessibility technology offered them. They had tremendous pressure on them from the community to stay after graduation or at least, to return after college to enrich the community with their new knowledge and skills while starting a family and living among the generations of families who have remained there.

memories from my past experience as a high school principal. There are a lot of reasons to put our past behind us and move on. In my past for example, besides this cute little story of swine love, there are years and years of self-sabotage; events that looked so promising for me and yet, I made decisions that cost me a lot. For

That event is long gone and holds a tiny space in my brain with lots of other

In each of our pasts, there is a lot of pain, disappointment, and shake your damn head disbelief over some of the things we did and said. It hurts to go back into that place in our brains where we store the memories that we’d rather avoid completely. When I think back about the self-sabotage in my career, my stomach tightens and I am immediately, emotionally transported right back to the very moment that the sh*t began to hit the fan. It doesn’t feel good, and my first reaction is to avoid it, run, hide, and hope that I never end up there again.

I knew, as a role model for them, that they needed to see risk taking behavior and that people, like them, can have the audacity to put the expectations of the past aside and launch into the uncertainty of the future with confidence. So, I kissed a damn piglet. Yep, I did it in front of the whole school, during a Homecoming pep rally, including students, faculty, staff, board, and community members. I stood in front of about 800 cheering people, sweating, and thinking a fire drill might be a better idea. Instead, though, I took that little beast’s face into my hands, and I kissed his whiskery little pink nose as if it was the highlight of my day.

Most of us barely escape high school without creating some type of embarrassing memory of ourselves that will undoubtedly show up in someone’s phone scroll at your next reunion or worse yet, remain the topic of discussion over and over again each time there is a family get together.

example, my then undiscovered need for chaos led me to create constant change for my staff and my colleagues making it difficult for them to support me or projects I led because of the uncertainty and unknowing I was continually creating for them. In all likelihood, you’ve done the same thing to yourself, in your own unique way.

I don’t have to avoid, run, or hide anymore because I have finally learned some mind-blowing truths about my past: 1. The past happens for us, not to us. That’s right. A big ole’ present customized and uniquely crafted by you and for you! We are so used to looking at ourselves as victims of our past. Instead, I’d like you to challenge yourself to look to the past for the GIFTS she has brought you... experience, wisdom, knowing...even while shrouded in pain and discomfort. CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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UNSTOPPABLE WOMAN { {ALWAYS CHASING BETTER} } “It hurts to go back into that place in our brains where we store the memories that we’d rather avoid completely.”

Let’s normalize seeing our past as a gift. 2. The past is our path to everything good in our lives and the goodness we want for our future. It seems counterintuitive, doesn’t it? How can the past, which is behind me, be the path to my future? And it’s good? Yes. Every experience we’ve had, every hardship we have overcome, every piece of sh*t partner we chose... each one has led us right here, to this very moment where we have an opportunity to step into the best damn version of ourselves possible. Here’s the reality of our past in a nutshell, your past is driving your present and future. Find the value in it and use it to propel you instead of to hold you back. 3. The sh*t in your past can be healed. All that pain, humiliation, and powerlessness we feel when we resurrect some of our past, can be revisited in a healthy, safe way so

that we can begin to experience it in a whole new way. When we look back on our past with an open heart and new eyes, the past can be transformed and become fuel for

when we re-engage with it in a purposeful way designed to move us boldly and proudly into the future as the best damn version of ourselves. I coach smart, successful, inspired women to become the best damn versions of themselves at Always Chasing Better Coaching. Your future is one phone call away. Credits: Hair - Crystal Lewis Makeup - A-List Artistry Clothing Shopgypsyfreedom Photo - Alice G Pa t t e r s o n Photography

us instead of an obstacle. Our past can be a powerful tool

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THE MAGIC OF MAKEUP BY TRACY SIMONE

The rule for wearing makeup has always been that if you can see it, then there is too much. Some people grow accustomed to seeing themselves a certain way and then anything different or less than that is uncomfortable. The reality is that makeup should really enhance your features, and not mask your beauty. It should also make you feel good about yourself. Sure, we can cheat a little. Cheekbones lacking? Draw some in. Eyelashes too thin? Get the mascara.

are times that it just makes sense to hire someone who specializes in this area. Too many of us shave off our eyebrows just to draw them back in. I have never cared for that look, but I will certainly fess up that I am not the best at doing my own makeup. It has always amazed me how different

Remember that no matter who you are, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, and you do not need any makeup. Some women do not believe that about themselves and would not get caught dead without it. There is a true art to being able to apply it well. Those who have mastered it can pile it on in a way that the facial features are brought to life, and the makeup itself is not even visible. The face is the star of the show, not the products that were applied to it. Ladies spend a mint on having their faces painted so that those wedding pictures come out right. We go to great extremes to make our faces look the way we want them to and not the way God gave them to us. Many women pay a professional makeup artist to ‘hook them up’ for their corporate pictures. Admit it, there 120

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the same person can look based on the makeup that is applied. Some people are so talented at this and can create a look, flawlessly, even on someone else. In each of the pictures in this article, Dashawn Russell was my makeup artist. He is someone I met a few years back at a fashion show. There was some type of mixup, and the other artists did not show

up. He ended up having to do the makeup for all the models in the show. Not only did he make every single person look beautiful, but he did it quickly, effortlessly, and with such skill. Each person looked perfect, and it was as if he made the brushes obey him. That did it. This was the artist for me. We have worked together many times since then. He can be found on Instagram at @dashawnrussellbeautypro. There is a challenge in finding both products and a makeup artist who can get darker skin tones correct. People of color have different undertones and it is not easy to match the foundation properly. This is a common complaint among women of color. So, it becomes a lifelong journey to find the right products for each skin type. Everyone has this issue, not just women of color, but it is certainly a harder task for those with darker skin. There is less availability of the products in general and sometimes, the companies that produce them do not stay in business because the market is sometimes difficult. These tend to be smaller companies that cannot compete with the larger ones. So, they do not always have the same advertising budgets or abilities to supply their cosmetics in the same places as the big ones. The makeup displays in most stores is usually limited for those with melanated skin. Makeup for darker skin is not just a darker version of the same product.

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“Always keep in mind though that YOU are the diamond, and the makeup just adds some sparkle.”

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“Feel free to play with your look. Explore lots of options and really have a good time with it.”

There is really a science to it. the search continues.

So,

Wearing makeup can be fun and interesting but if we face it, some of us go overboard. I cannot get over some of the fake eyelashes that I see online. Someone wearing some of these monsters could bat her eyes in New York and the breeze would be felt in Los Angeles! Makeup is great but it should be realistic. The exceptions to this, of course, is if it is for art, or if it is for theatrical or editorial purposes. Many people do not realize that there are different techniques and coloring needed depending on the reason for applying it. For instance, it should be different if the resulting pictures will be in black & white versus being in color. Also, makeup for television and movies is also a unique challenge. The hot lights can wash out a face if the correct makeup is not used. The main thing to remember about cosmetics is that no matter what you do, NEVER SLEEP IN YOUR MAKEUP! This is the quickest way to ruin your skin. Skin is meant to breathe, and it should be cleansed, toned, and moisturized regularly. Feel free to play with your look. Explore lots of options and really have a good time with it. Always keep in mind though that YOU are the diamond, and the makeup just adds some sparkle. You do not need it, but if you use it, enjoy!

SPECIAL INSERT WOMEN OWNED BUSINESSES

FEATURING:

- CLAY & CONFETTI - SAVON HOLT - LETITIA TORRES - BREANNA BLUE - MIND, BODY & SPIRIT MFT - AVA & CARTER BOUTIQUE - AND MORE!

MEET Mrs Syracuse America AMANDA RICHIE TERZIAN

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AMANDA RICHIE TERZIAN YOU ARE ENOUGH. NICOLEBY HEROUX PHOTOS NSP STUDIO CHRISTOPHER CARDWELL BY KELLY BREUER IBY PHOTOS BRODYWILLIAMS WHEELER, ILISA ROSSIBY PHOTOGRAPHY,

Tell us about yourself, and your background. I was born and raised in a suburb outside of Dallas, Texas. I began singing and dancing at an early age and my dream was to be on Broadway. Well technically, I wanted to be the entertainment on cruise ships because my childhood babysitter was traveling the world doing just that. I couldn’t imagine anything better. However, on a whim, during my senior year of high school, I decided I wanted to be a journalist. I also thought it might be my last time to dance, so auditioning for my college’s dance team was also a priority. At the time, I had never heard of Sam Houston State University, but that’s where I ended up and where I was meant to be. A pretty famous journalist also attended Sam Houston and the Communications Building happens to be named after him, Dan Rather. And the dance team, well, we won Nationals in 2005. I was awarded the Dan and Jean Rather internship, so off to New York City I went. My internship turned into a full time job and I worked for Mr. Rather for 11 years. The production company began downsizing and I was pregnant 130

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so I signed up to be a background actor on shows like Blue Bloods, Elementary, and Law and Order: SVU, to name a few. Also, I officially teamed up with the NYC American Heart Association’s Young Professionals. Life continued to throw my family a few more curveballs, but those led us to Syracuse and we are really loving it here. I am a mom to my incredible 2 and a half year old son, who brings

so much joy to not only our family but to the world. And while my next chapter career wise is still a work in progress, I have started making oneof-a-kind upcycled art pieces and I have started curating my photography work to open an online boutique soon. I am an Executive Leadership Team Member with ‘Syracuse Go Red for Women’ (GRFW), along with chairing GRFW’s brand new

initiative, ‘STEM Goes Red’. I am a volunteer with the Junior League of Syracuse, an avid runner who’s completed 32 half marathons and 6 marathons to date, and a golfer. What makes you hustle? My competitive type A personality. But really, every day that we are given on this planet is a chance to make this world a better place. That opportunity comes in so many forms. It could be doing a RAK for a stranger that changes the trajectory of his or her day, volunteering with a nonprofit organization, sharing something on social media that raises awareness or educates someone, or raising the next generation to be kind and compassionate. I don’t want to waste a single opportunity or moment. Tell us about what made you decide to run for the MRS NY America pageant. I wasn’t aware there were pageants for married women until I saw some of my fellow Texas pageant sisters competing. I started researching the same pageant system in New York and that’s how I met Diane Hardgrove, the director of the Mrs. NY America/ American/Miss NY for America Strong pageants. I have always believed in the

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“Life continued to throw my family a few more curveballs, but those led us to Syracuse and we are really loving it here. I am a mom to my incredible 2 and a half year old son who brings so much joy to not only our family, but to the world.”

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{{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS}} SHIFT+CONTROL “I am an Executive Leadership Team Member with ‘Syracuse Go Red for Women’ (GRFW), along with chairing GRFW’s brand new initiative, ‘STEM Goes Red’. I am a volunteer with the Junior League of Syracuse, an avid runner who’s completed 32 half marathons and 6 marathons to date, and a golfer.”

positive benefits and takeaways from pageants. The interview preparation helped me in so many aspects of my life, interviewing for jobs and the confidence needed to work as a young television producer are just a couple of examples. Secondly, it is another opportunity to raise awareness, to enact change, and be a prominent voice for your platform. Thirdly, just do some brief research on the pageant contestants - they are lawyers, doctors, teachers, mothers, etc. who really elevate you to be the best version of yourself. If you want to be successful, surround yourself with successful people. What did you choose for your platform and why? My platform is near and dear to my heart, literally. Both of my parents have separate and unrelated heart conditions. As I began researching their conditions and volunteering with the American Heart Association, it occurred to me that there are so many factors that make up heart health. My platform HeART (Helping Everyone Actively Reach the Trifecta), came from all of the knowledge I was gathering. The trifecta is physical, mental, and emotional health. Addressing each component and finding the right balance is necessary for long term success when it comes to living longer healthier lives. What does the word empowerment mean to you? To answer this question, I actually looked up the definition which is “the process of becoming stronger

and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.” I couldn’t come up with a better definition, so for me, that is what I strive to do everyday, to empower myself and every single person I come in contact with. According to you, what are the skills that are necessary for becoming a successful female entrepreneur? Confidence, Negotiating skills, Teachability, Time management, Articulate/Able to Communicate Effectively, Branding/Marketing, Team Player, and Gutsy. What do you feel are your greatest strengths? What about some of your weaknesses? My greatest strength is I believe anything is possible, so I dream big and make lofty goals. I wouldn’t necessarily consider it a weakness, but I put a lot of pressure and expectations on myself to be the best at everything, so learning to give myself grace while still continuing to push myself to succeed is the balance I am aiming to achieve. How would you define your personality? I am a Texan/New Yorker who is optimistic, energetic, detail-oriented and unique. When did you take away from your pageant experience? So many lessons. First, as much progress as I have made, I still have further to go. Second, I don’t want to dismiss how far I have come and

want to acknowledge that I really enjoyed spending time with the other contestants and my incredible HMUA, Jessica Lahr. As I shared on social media, I am so happy to be in a place in my life where I am genuinely happy for the winners but disappointed I didn’t win or place in the Top 6. What was your first job and how old were you? I was a singing waitress at Babe’s Chicken Dinner House in Garland, Texas and I was 21 years old. I loved the job and it was always such an incredible feeling to have people request that you sing or leave you an extra large tip (with a note to get on the first bus to Nashville). Who are some of the people that empower and inspire you and why? My friends. I have the coolest friends. They are all doing amazing things: starting companies, running companies, and really contributing in positive ways to the world. They have all been such wonderful sounding boards for me as I take on new endeavors. And Reese Witherspoon empowers and inspires me for so many reasons. Two that stick out: her production company, Hello Sunshine, for all the reasons she started it and for all the reasons she is succeeding with it and two, Legally Blonde, need I say more? If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently? I wouldn’t change a thing. Every CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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“ But really, every day that we are given on this planet is a chance to make this world a better place. That opportunity comes in so many forms.”

single event or experience that has happened in my life, whether it be positive or negative, a major success or a huge failure, has made me the person that I am today. “What is your ‘why? “ My why was instilled in me from a young age through my secondary school and university’s motto. Garland High School - “Enter to Learn, Go Forth to Serve” and Sam Houston State, “The Measure of a Life is its Service.” How d i d w o rk i n g through the pandemic change you for the better or worse? How did you get creative? I had a big business idea before the pandemic happened and what I realized was that the big idea was not the right direction for me to go in. So when things went ‘virtual’, I started signing up for seminars that would help me grow my business acumen. I paid attention to how companies were adapting, and that has helped me with my strategy moving forward. What role do you think social media plays for you personally and professionally and what is your 136

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favorite platform? Personally, it’s changed throughout the years. Now it is more of a networking tool, which was helpful when moving to a new area right before the pandemic began. Professionally, it is a game

producer self needs to get up to speed on TikTok. But honestly, I want to know what the next hot platform is going to be. Name one special moment during your career that has stood out to you. I was selected to produce 3 long form documentaries: the 70th Anniversary of Pearl Harbor, the 50th Anniversary of the Assasination of JFK, and the 10th Anniversary of September 11th. Each of these programs required extensive research, interviews, and original storytelling. The process made me a better producer. What’s the biggest factor that has helped you be successful? Luck: when my preparation has met an opportunity.

changer if you can figure out how to monetize and market appropriately. My favorite platform right now is Instagram, but I think my television

What was your favorite moment of the 2021 Mrs NY America pageant and why? Being honored by my fellow contestants as Mrs. Congeniality. The pageant’s motto is “we are family” and to be recognized by my peers was truly humbling and a reminder that when you can be anything in this world, be kind. I don’t think I’ll ever not be a TV producer in a sense, so I love meeting people, asking them questions,

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and hearing their stories. Getting to know my fellow contestants and the staff is always fun for me. What do you have planned for next year? What about five years from now? Next year, I am really focused on continuing the momentum of the past year. Raising my son, building my business, being a relentless force for longer healthier l i ve s , w h i c h i s t h e mission of the American Hear t Association, continuing with my fitness journey, and looking for opportunities both personally and professionally. I just recently sang the National Anthem at the Syracuse Mets baseball game, so I would love to sing the National Anthem at a Syracuse University basketball game as soon as the season starts. What was the hardest decision you ever had to make? To end the chapter of life where I was an “official” television producer. What I then had to realize was being a television producer didn’t define me. At the end of the day we are all human beings and if we strip down every title to just human beings, then what matters is who we 138

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are, what we care about, and how we treat others. What motivates you? The desire to accomplish my goals. I am the type that needs to establish

long and short term goals constantly. For example, to run a half marathon in all 50 states by the time I am 50. Striving to reach these goals keeps me focused and motivated.

What’s the most important discovery you’ve made about yourself in the past year during your pageant journey? That I am enough. Describe one of your biggest failures. What lessons did you learn, and how did it contribute to a greater success? I felt like a failure when my company was downsizing and I was let go. It came out of nowhere and I remember my heart was racing during the conversation. I had to remain calm for my own health and my baby’s health, but it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. It forced me to get outside my comfort zone, to grow, to dream even bigger, and to reinvent myself. Don’t get me wrong, it was not easy for a long time and I struggled, but I am happy to say I’m on the other side of it now which is very liberating. Where will we see you next? Everywhere. I’m pursuing so many opportunities right now and I can’t wait to see how they all pan out.

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SAVON HOLT PHOTOS BY K. VICTORIA PHOTOGRAPHY

This month’s edition of She Hustles Talks features the dynamic duo of Savon Holt and Letitia Torres as our amazing featured cover women. Where do I start with these two “queens”? They are empowering, inspiring, influencing and the true definition of what it is to be lady bosses who are hustlin! Stay tuned for lots more to come from these ladies as they join our She Hustles Talks Show team in the coming months and take over the world one achievement at a time.

myself out there. I started with a podcast called Women Winning Wednesday, which interviews successful women, then I published my book called “My Truth” and SavonSpeaks grew from there. SavonSpeaks mission is to motivate

As women, many of us are responsible for being a mother and wife or significant other while juggling many other things in our life. So, trying to create a balance between other commitments and being a female entrepreneur can be an issue for some.

Tell our audience who is Savon Holt and what makes you hustle. Savon is a Licensed Practical Nurse., author, life coach (Becoming H.E.R Coaching Academy), columnist, podcaster of Women Winning Wednesday /show host of The Savon Show, and entrepreneur. What makes me hustle? My visions- I know that if I see it, I can achieve it. If I want it- I have to go after it. What made you decide to create your business and become a female entrepreneur? What made me decide to start my business and become a female entrepreneur was my drive, passion, and gift to help others. How did you create Savon Speaks, and what is your mission behind it? I started SavonSpeaks by just putting

in 2021? What has helped make you successful? One of the pros of being a female entrepreneur is social networking. I feel we are naturals when it comes to networking. Another pro is multitasking, freedom to do your own thing, flexibility, and profits. Some of the cons are the risks, workload, and responsibilities.

and empower women to overcome adversities and setbacks in their lives and to discover their purpose that will allow them to create the life they deserve. What are some of the pros and cons of being a female entrepreneur, especially

What has helped me be successful is including that margin in my planning. Life is full of hiccups; therefore, I created a margin in my life. Margin is when you leave room for trial and error, downtime, and wiggle room. I had to look at my workload coupled with what’s my limit. How much can I take on for the day that will not put me over the edge? Doing so has allowed me to be consistent and persistent as a female entrepreneur- helping me be successful. CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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SHIFT+CONTROL {{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS }} “ One of the pros of being a female entrepreneur is social networking. I feel we are naturals when it comes to networking.”

What are some of the things you find help you to be successful in building your brand? Some things that help me be successful in building my brand are being consistent, bold, fierce, and honest.

spirit? Are/were your parents entrepreneurs? My father has a side hustle selling cars, my mother was a go-getter, and my maternal grandmother was a businesswoman herself, owning her day care.

What do you want to achieve next? Landing my own talk show on television.

What was your key driving force to become an entrepreneur and for starting your platform Savon Speaks? I look at entrepreneurs as problem solvers. People usually get into business because they feel that there is a problem in the world that need to be solved coupled with gaining the opportunity for financial freedom. For instance, I felt like there weren’t enough women helping each other and too many women suffering in silence from childhood traumas, abusive relationships, toxic families and etc.- I felt that was a problem. Therefore, I created a business designed to help solve those problems or to help women start their journey to healing by doing my life coaching, writing my book, interviewing successful women for other women to see and create their own blueprint for their journey to success. I understand I can’t save everyone or help everyone find their purpose in life, but even if I can help just a corner of the world, then I have served my purpose and the purpose of my platform.

Try to describe yourself in 3 words only. Describing myself in three words is easy, Loyal. Honest. Driven. Have you ever been harrassed or discriminated against? Yes, I have but more so in my nursing career. As an entrepreneur not so much as of yet. What have you found to be the most successful in marketing tools for your business, and who is your ideal audience? Facebook is my go-to marketing tool, and my ideal audience is women between the ages of 18-40. Women who are broken with low self-esteem and lack of confidence due to their past- but wanting to get back to loving themselves again. What challenges have you faced this year and how have you overcome them? A challenge I faced the feeling of defeat. But when I felt this way, I prayed and went back to the drawing board. We often feel defeated when things don’t go our way. But where there is a wheel, there is a way- I just had to find another way to accomplish the mission. Where did you get your entrepreneurial

#Where did the idea of your business derive from?. The idea of SavonSpeaks just came to me during the Pandemic. God just had me sitting there in silence, reflecting on my life and said, my story needs to be heard- someone needs to hear it in order to speak their own truth. Someone’s voice needs to be heard, but they will not

speak up unless I speak up. So, in that moment of reflecting, I knew in order to walk in the assignment given to me by God- I had to let myself go- all my worries about what people will think, and truly be selfless and intentional with what I was about to release into the universe. What are some of the challenges you feel female entrepreneurs face, especially minority women? I think women in general always had the short end of the stick compared to their male counterparts. Traditionally men are portrayed as being more successful and maintaining a business compared to women. Female entrepreneurs struggle with being taken seriously, especially minority women. We have to walk, talk and act a certain way that society feels we have to robotically become in order to be accepted. Black/brown women specifically have to work twice as hard than their white female counterparts in many cases just to even be recognized. A robust support system is important for a businesswoman success but can be hard to build that trust worthy team. Considering the fierce competition in today’s business world, how would you highlight your company’s competitive advantages? What makes it stand out of the crowd? Honestly, I don’t think about competition. One, because I feel like it is enough room for all of us, I am for women empowerment. I can’t represent empowering women if I’m worried about another woman outshining me. The goal is to salute, be inspired by one another, and help each other get to the CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS}} SHIFT+CONTROL “As women, many of us are responsible for being a mother and wife or significant other while juggling many other things in our life.”

next level the best we can. What is for me, no man or woman can take and vice versa. My hard work, consistency, and dedication speak volumes and aids me in standing out. Where do you see your business growing in the next year? three years? I see it becoming a million-dollar company. How do we expand women’s networks to 148

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accommodate all women entrepreneurs? We can expand women’s networks by supporting them. For instance, our dresses were made by designer Tania Casini in our photoshoot for She Hustle Talks magazine cover. And for my solo picture, my dress, fanny pack, and accessories are from Beauty By Gauthier. Both are women entrepreneurs. To expand women’s networks, we must not be afraid to support one another without feeling like we’re competing

because we all bring a different flavor to the table. I know myself; I want all women to win. It’s okay to support, promote, congratulate, encourage and recommend amongst many other ways to support other women. Do you have any helpful advice to someone interested in starting their own business? Yes, my advice would be to go for it. But first, make sure it’s something you

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are passionate about because, without passion, the thrill of having your own business will quickly die. With passion, you will keep finding innovative ways to get better at what you love doing so if can have a more effective outcome. Also, remember people will always remember how you treat them, and word of mouth is the most powerful promotion a business could have. So, make sure you have good customer service skills when entering the entrepreneur world. What are your hidden inspiration sources? How do you generate new ideas? Ideas could come to me by having a general conversation with someone, listening to music, or watching something inspirational. Even my moments of failure provide me with more opportunities to be creative. Because if failure is not an option for you, you’re going to find another way. W h a t’ s y o u r g r e a t e s t entrepreneurial achievement to be proud of? My most outstanding entrepreneurial achievement to be proud of is when I do speaking engagements- women come up to me after saying how much my words resonated with them. To achieve the goal of positively influence women is an achievement all in itself. What book has inspired you the most? (What is your favorite book?) Besides your own... Besides my own book (lol)….A book that has inspired me is Dear Solani, 150

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Letters to the Daughter I Never Had by Lynn Toler. It is a book written by Judge Lynn, the Divorce Court Host sharing wisdom from her motherly perspective to us (female readers) as if we were her daughters. I love it because she talks from a practical, methodical, and motivational standpoint- such as she had done on her show. I have not been married yet, but the advice she gave women was real and powerful. What do you do on a daily basis to

grow as an entrepreneur? To grow as an entrepreneur, I pray daily, take my time, be intentional, and not afraid to be different. Also, must be open minded. Do you believe there is a winning formula for becoming a successful entrepreneur? What is yours? I think there is a winning formula to becoming successful- that is, let things happen naturally. Just put in the work and dedication, and everything else will follow. Doing good by people and good

will come back to you, whether it’s on a personal or business level. There is a saying I like that goes” you may not like me, but you’ll notice my ambition and will have no choice but to respect my grind.” I love that saying because, you’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, but they’ll have no choice but to acknowledge the hard work you’re putting in. Grind season is every season with no days off. If you ask me, that’s success right there. What is your definition of hustle? My definition of “hustle” is someone going after what they want by any means necessary. Where can our audience see you next? Your audience can see me on October 15, I will be a guest speaker at “Healher healedher” event hosted by Tiffany English. Also, on October 16th I will be hosting guest interviews at the 2nd Annual Black Business RocBlack Tie Gala “Year of The Black Businesswomen.” Founded by Chad Grimes. It will be a fun and classy event; make sure to get your tickets. Tickets are available now at Embellish 757 Genesee St., Beads & Bangles 733 East Main St. Come out, support, and celebrate all the beautiful businesswomen and their accomplishments. Follow my Facebook and IG at SavonSpeaks so you can stay updated with the latest I have going on. My book “My Truth: Building My Foundation With the Rocks Has Thrown At Me” is also available on Amazon or on my website at WWW. SAVONSPEAKS.COM.

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LETITIA TORRES PHOTOS BY K. VICTORIA PHOTOGRAPHY

Tell our audience who Letitia (Tetia) Torres is and what makes you hustle. I am a self-proclaimed “multipotentialite.” I AM an author, business owner, columnist, speaker, and roadmap coach. I am a “Kingdom Kid.” I am a purpose pusher. I am a wife to my husband, Will Torres, a mother to our five children, Giovannie, Mekhi, Noah, Mi’Amor, and Naima.

that I created 4 years ago. The mission behind Me2U Coaching is to uplift, inspire, encourage, empower, and equip women through my workshops, workbooks, training, and seminars.

Knowing that I’ve assisted another young woman on her journey to discover her purpose is one of my greatest joys. Living my life to inspire other women to be their best authentic selves is what makes me hustle. What made you decide to create your business and become a female entrepreneur? My father is a serial entrepreneur and owns three businesses. So it was almost indoctrinated in me. As a little girl, he would talk my ears off for hours about his business and the importance of working for yourself. So while my entre pruner journey is not a typical one, I always knew I’d be one. I would have to say it was my destiny. My husband and I own 2 businesses and will have 2 more by the end of the year. How did you create your business, and what is your mission behind it? Me2U Coaching is a coaching platform

think my generation has sensationalized entrepreneurship. With that, I think for every pro, there’s a con. Some of the pros are: being in control of your schedule, limitless income potential, and being able to help and employ others in your community. Now on the other side of that coin are the cons: while you may be in control of your schedule, being an entrepreneur often involves long days and long nights sometimes. Although I have 17 employees, there are days I may have to work when I don’t necessarily feel like it or want to. In the beginning, my husband and I worked a lot. Five years in, and now I operate my business about 10-12 hours a week. People often say, “it cost to be the boss.” I believe this to be true with your time and finances. As the boss, you may be the first one in the door and the last one out. Financially you’re the one taking all of the risks, and during hard times, you may also be the only one who doesn’t get paid. During the shutdown, I had gone 30 days without paying myself because I had to make payroll. It’s the behind-the-scenes sacrifices that no one sees, but it’s definitely worth it.

What are some of the pros and cons of being a female entrepreneur, especially in 2021? What has helped make you successful? I love this question. While I believe in entrepreneurship and feel everyone should own at least one business, I

Lastly, I would say, “to whom much is given, much is required.” In addition to my husband and children, 17 other people and their families depend on me and my business. With that is a great deal of responsibility, and I don’t take that lightly. So as an entrepreneur that

{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS}} SHIFT+CONTROL “Networking with other businesswomen has definitely helped me be successful. ”

employs people from my community, I have to make sure I’m running my business correctly. Because we’re the first in our families to do what we’re doing, the pressure can sometimes be overwhelming. Networking with other businesswomen has definitely helped me be successful. “- I have about 15 Clients, all of who were referred to me. I’ve never advertised or handed out a business card. My business is all word of mouth. For five years, it’s been that way, and it blows my mind. What are some of the things you find that help you to be successful in building your brand? What has been helpful thus far is being authentic and staying true to my purpose. I call this staying in your YES. What do you want to achieve next? My ultimate goal for 2021 is to publish my workbook, The Pace of Grace®: Vision Planning and Goal Mapping. I’ll also be conducting training and seminars based on the book. Try to describe yourself in 3 words only. I Am Bold HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HARASSED OR DISCRIMINATED AGAINST? I’ve experienced discrimination when I worked in corporate America, not as an entrepreneur. The good thing about owning your business is that you can choose who you work with. What have you found to be the most successful marketing tool for your business, and who is your ideal 156

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audience? While I should be using IG, I would have to say just being me on Facebook has been all of the “marketing,” if you can call it that, that I’ve done. So while I feel my audience is vast, my ideal would be women, ages 28 - 50. What challenges have you faced this year, and how have you overcome them? I decided to come out better on the other side of the pandemic. Keeping a can-do attitude and positive mindset has allowed me to overcome my challenges this year. Where did you get your entrepreneurial spirit? Are/were your parents’ entrepreneurs? I mentioned my dad earlier. He’s definitely the reason I’m here doing this interview. My dad is the Ultimate serial entrepreneur, and so am I. However, he has always made sure that I knew my work ethic definitely came from my mother. What was your key driving force to become an entrepreneur and author? The key driving force for me becoming an entrepreneur and author was knowing that another young woman is waiting for me to show up! I know young women are watching me. I know someone near and far needs to hear my story to believe that they can overcome sexual abuse, fear, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and poverty. Where did the idea of your business derive from? Two things. My commercial cleaning business came out of desperation. I had

quit my job from corporate America and needed to replace that income. My husband decided to start the cleaning business, and it’s doubled every year for 5 years in counting. My coaching business, Me2U Coaching, came about because I was desperately looking for a mentor and kept running into one of two issues. Either I couldn’t afford to pay for a coach or find anyone to take the time to sit down and have coffee or lunch with me. I remember God telling me to stop looking for the woman I thought I needed and become her! Both businesses were birthed from a problem and a need. I created a company to provide financially for myself and 17 other families. And I birthed a business to coach and mentor women through classes, seminars, and workbooks for low to no cost. Unlike most coaches, I don’t charge for a conversation. This is because I believe it’s my calling and duty to help other women. What are some of the challenges you feel female entrepreneurs face, especially minority women? I think the foremost challenge female entrepreneurs face is an unhealthy competitive spirit. As women, we compete in counterproductive ways. We also don’t collaborate like we should. This is what I love about my relationship with Savon. We are in the same industry, but we understand that we reach different audiences and collaborate in many projects to inspire as many people as possible. I believe we can achieve so

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much more together. Also, as women, sometimes we have to juggle many different things. For example, we’re the boss at work, mom and wife at home, which is also the boss at home. So finding a healthy life-work balance can sometimes be challenging. Considering the fierce competition in today’s business world, how would you highlight your company’s competitive advantages? What makes it stand out from the crowd? What makes my business stand out is that my husband, Will, and I am a team. I know that people love to see that we are a duo. #16 Where do you see your business growing in the next year? Three years? Within the next year, I see my business doubling in size. So within the next three years, I’ll definitely be running a multi-million dollar operation and several companies. #17 How do we expand women’s networks to accommodate all women entrepreneurs? We can expand women’s networks to accommodate all women entrepreneurs by understanding not all women own glamorous businesses. For example, some of us own daycares and, like myself cleaning companies, I feel too often there aren’t platforms to celebrate those “traditional” businesses.

#18 Do you have any helpful advice for someone interested in starting their own business? Yes. Whatever you want to do, girl, just do it! Be clear about what you want to do. Discover your purpose and stay true to that. Be authentic. Most importantly, PRAY and walk by FAITH. #19 What are your hidden inspiration sources? How do you generate new ideas? Prayer is my source. This is where I find peace and clarity. This is where my new ideas are birthed and where solutions are created. #20 What’s your greatest entrepreneurial achievement to be proud of? My greatest achievement so far is that I am helping my community by offering employment opportunities. Five years ago, I worked as a Product Marketing Manager for a direct sales company struggling to make ends meet, and now the number of hours I would work in a day I work in a week and make more than triple what that company was paying me. That is the blessing. Achieving financial freedom and having control of my time! #21 What book has inspired you the most? ( What is your favorite book?) Besides your own... The book that has inspired me the most is the BIBLE. My favorite books are the Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav,

Goals by Zig Ziglar, Sometimes You Win-Sometimes You Learn by John C. Maxwell, and Hello Tomorrow by Cindy Trimm. #22 What do you do daily to grow as an entrepreneur? Reflect. Pray. Affirmations. Devotion and Intention. The reflection process is what helps us grow. I’m constantly looking at the previous 24 hours and identifying what I did well and what I could have done better. Prayer encourages us to connect to a higher power and get in touch with our own authentic power. Affirmations reveal our capability to command our day by speaking life into our situations. Devotion and Intention allow us to see the results of remaining committed and dedicated to the call on our lives. Being intentional leads us to a meaningful life and fulfills our purpose in life. #23 Do you believe there is a winning formula for becoming a successful entrepreneur? What is yours? There is no formula for success. I believe you have to define success for yourself. The aim should be to live a life of substance. When you discover purpose and walk in it, that is the true definition of success. CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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“I am a self-proclaimed “multipotentialite.” I AM an author, business owner, columnist, speaker, and roadmap coach. I am a “Kingdom Kid.” I am a purpose pusher.”

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RHEA PARKS PHOTOS BY MICHELE MCLENDON & MIA BURSE

Tell us about yourself and your business Mind Body Spirit MFT. I am original from Syracuse, NY. Together my husband & I parent 5 sons, ages 7-14. I love fashion, shoes, and sneakers in addition to helping others. Mind, Body, & Spirit Marriage Family Therapy is 100% virtual practice. The practice focuses on helping women overcome depression and anxiety. We also work with couples experiencing a variety of issues.

What are some of the things you find help you to be a successful business owner, especially with working with mental health therapy? Just being authentic. Clients can spot a fake so I’m never fake. I also work really hard to create an extremely safe environment so clients feel comfortable to share what they have going on.

What made you decide to create your business and become a female entrepreneur? I wanted to create a practice that provided a holistic approach to therapy for women by women.

What have you found to be the most successful in marketing your business, especially during a pandemic? Honestly, speaking for me it’s been word of mouth. What challenges have you faced this year and how have you overcome them? My practice doesn’t accept insurance, so I’ve had to get crafty with attracting my ideal client for the practice.

What was your key driving force to become an entrepreneur? I’ve worked for other companies and could never achieve the type of work-life balance I was looking for as a mother. So, I decided to step out on my own to create the type of work-life balance I was looking for. Where did the idea of your business derive from? I am a group fitness instructor and licensed minister in addition to being a therapist so the concept around Mind, Body, & Spirit Marriage Family Therapy comes from that. I truly believe in a holistic approach to our healing. It’s all connected mind, body and spirit.

Which mental health or counseling issue do you find people come to you for most? A lot of women experience anxiety and depression, but I’ve noticed once we begin to peel back the layers there are a lot of insecurities and a lack of self-esteem.

What do you want to achieve next? I want to create a 100% virtual practice and expand to other states. What makes you hustle? What is your why? The thought of having to go back to corporate America and work for someone else’s dream keeps me hustling.

Considering the fierce competition in today’s world, how would you highlight your company’s competitive advantages? What makes it stand out of the crowd of other therapists and specialists? What makes the practice stand out honestly, is my relatability. I also don’t look like your typical therapist either. I just recently cut all my hair off and dyed it blue. What are your hidden inspiration sources? How do you generate new ideas? It’s the little things that inspire me I CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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“I’ve worked for other companies and could never achieve the type of work-life balance I was looking for as a mother. So, I decided to step out on my own to create the type of work-life balance I was looking for.”

HUSTLES TALKS} } } { {IN { SHE SHIFT+CONTROL HER OWN WORDS “ I wanted to create a practice that provided a holistic approach to therapy for women by women.”

love taking walks and it’s been during some of my walks that I’ve had some of the best ideas. What best motivates you? How have your entrepreneurial motivations changed since you first started? I’m fresh on my entrepreneurial journey so I can’t say much has changed yet. I can become very tunnel vision. Once I’ve set my mind on something, there is very little that will deter me. What book has inspired you the most? ( What is your favorite book?) Fearless Faith + Hustle: 21 Day Devotional Journey by Arian Simone Where do you see your business growing in the next year? three years? Next year, accepting clients in one other state. In three years accepting 170

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clients in 4 states. Have you found being minority owned and operated has helped or hindered you? It’s definitely helped me. Many of my clients are other African American women that are looking specifically for a black female therapist. Do you have any helpful advice to someone interested in starting their own business? It’s very simple. Never give up. Surround yourself with other successful people. Ask questions. Try to describe yourself in 3 words only. Helper, peacemaker, fashion lover What are the main principles you follow to build a successful patient

relationship? Authenticity and transparency. I always allow patients to ask me questions. It’s never just one-sided. We are working together toward their goals. What are some of the challenges you feel female entrepreneurs face, especially minority women? And how do you work through them? For me personally, I look younger than I am so sometimes clients are taken aback and worry....” can she really help me”. I tell them to try and trust the process and never hesitate to ask questions along the journey. Tell us one thing people may not know about you. I have a master’s degree in Sports Administration that allowed me to work for the Buffalo Bills & ESPN Wide World of Sports in Orlando, FL.

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CLAY & CONFETTI PHOTOS BY ALYSSIA FOX

Tell us about yourself, your background and what made you decide to start your business Clay & Confetti Customs? Hello everyone, I’m Rachel Wenzel. I currently live in Marcellus, NY. I have been married for three years to my husband Kyle and we have the cutest two year old son named Landon . I am a Registered Dental Hygienist in Manlius, NY. During the Covid 19 lockdown I started watching YouTube videos on how to make polymer clay earrings. I literally could not stop watching and learning . I had definitely been bitten by the clay bug. I started Clay & Confetti Co. on June 1st 2020, and have enjoyed every minute of it ever since !

want women to feel even more beautiful when they wear my earrings. What made you choose clay as your medium of choice? I chose clay as my medium because I had bought my first pair of polymer clay earrings from a friend in Oregon and I

What does owning your own business mean to you? Owning my own business gives me the sense of freedom. It provides a relaxing environment due to the ability for me to be able to work from home. Owning my own business has also given me and my family extra income which in turn reduces stress as well! According to you, what are the skills that are necessary for becoming a successful woman owned business? I believe that courage , perseverance, and kindness are necessary skills to have if you want to have a successful woman owned business .

Tell us what makes you “hustle”? This enjoyable side hustle has slowly but surely become a huge part of my life . It has allowed me to work from home three days a week and cut back at the office from four days to two days. Being able to work from home while my son is young and the ability to make women look and feel beautiful is what makes me hustle for sure. Obviously being able to add extra income to my family is a huge part also. What is the mission behind your designs, and accessories? My designs are honestly random and sporadic. I create different styles of earrings to go with holidays, events, and others are purely from inspiration. Paintings , patterns , clothing , and decor inspire me to create daily ! I truly just try and create earrings of many varieties so that there is that special pair for everyone ! I

are what inspire me to create daily ! The time of year and holidays also influence what I create.

What is the best advice you have ever been given? Work hard and be yourself and in the end it will pay off .

was obsessed. Once I held them in my hand, I knew I was meant to make my own so I began researching ! Who and which things are the inspiration behind your designs? I would have to say things like - clothing, home decor, paintings, and other objects

How would you define your own personal style? My own personal style is very broad. I enjoy many designs colors, and styles! For example , I am currently enjoying tie dye, leopard print, and camo patterns in my personal wardrobe. When did you first realize you wanted to own your own business? When I bought my first pair of clay earrings I knew I was destined to make my own and create my own business. The more tutorials I watched the more

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SHIFT+CONTROL {{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS}} “Social media is huge for my business . Word of mouth is also a big one for my business.”

I became that this was the road I wanted to take . Tell us about your first entrepreneurial venture: How did you come up with the idea and how did you start your business? I knew I wanted to start my own polymer clay earring business when I put on my first pair. I could not stop touching them and staring at them. I was intrigued by the entire process from start to finish ! The more tutorials I watched the more passionate I became.

certain goals to correspond with specific time frames will keep her on track so that she does not fall behind . My final tip would also be to create a group on Facebook. If possible try and to go live often and make all the members in the group feel loved and appreciated. Responding to their comments in a timely manner is crucial.

What type of person do you think should be an entrepreneur? I think a person who has creative ideas, a strong work ethic, and a kind heart should try their hand at being an entrepreneur if that is what their heart is telling them .

What role do you think social media plays in your business? Social media is huge for my business. Word of mouth is also a big one for my business also . What is your favorite platform? My favorite platform is my private Facebook group . I would have to say that ninety percent or more of my sales are from my group. We have all become friends and family in this group. I am constantly doing giveaways that encourage them to invite more members to the group and we are almost at 2.5k members ! What tips do you have for other women who would like to start their own businesses? Same as question 13 :)

What is the biggest challenge for you as an entrepreneur? To be honest , it has been a challenge for me to know when to stop working because my work is in my home. I have gotten a lot better at stopping myself at a specific time everyday so that I can make sure I’m being a good wife and mother ! Earrings are just so much fun for me and it’s hard to stop . What tips do you have for other women who would like to start their own businesses? If a woman is interested in starting her own business, I would highly recommend a few things . I think that having a time line in place is super helpful. Setting

to know me .

What’s your favorite thing to do in your free time? In my free time I love working out and teaching cycling at a local gym near me . I enjoy cooking and shopping also. Taking my son to fun places like the zoo, museums, and parks are also a huge part of my free time also . Has working during a pandemic helped or hindered you? Working during the pandemic helped my business take off for sure. Customers were basically home shopping online 24/7. People were bored and were online a lot and they really got a chance to get

What do you think helped you the most to make a career as a woman? What’s the biggest factor that has helped you be successful? I think the support from family and friends is what helped me make a career as a woman. Seeing my friends and family place orders on my site blew my CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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{{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS}} SHIFT+CONTROL “I think the support from family and friends is what helped me make a career as a woman. Seeing my friends and family place orders on my site blew my mind and encouraged me so much .”

mind and encouraged me so much . I would have to say that the biggest factor in helping me become successful would be the positive feedback I get from my customers about their earrings. Having women post on social media and when they send me selfies daily because they feel beautiful is the ultimate factor in pushing me to work harder and to become more daily . I truly enjoy my job. 178

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What do you have planned for the next year? What about five years from now? For the next year - I plan to focus more on growing my instagram following as the majority of my following is from Facebook . I also want to work on the way I photograph my earrings and creating more of a cohesive esthetic that it very appealing to the eye . I am hoping to keep my business going as long as I can . My family will always

come first , but my husband is truly supportive of my work and wants to see my business grow in the years to come. Tell us something about yourself that people may not know... I can touch my tongue to the tip of my nose.

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JESSICA ELIZABETH SKIN Tell us about yourself, and your background. My name is Jessica Falcone. I started out in the nursing field in the Hemotology Oncology unit for Pediatrics. I decided that nursing wasn’t for me and once my youngest started school I decided to go back to study for skincare. I have been an Esthetician for about 4 years now focusing more on the medical aesthetics field. Also, I started construction right in January of 2020 right before the pandemic hit. I was going through a really hard divorce and left another job. The theme of lotus throughout the studio is a reminder of how even through the darkest of times beauty still exists. Before I could opened the doors and started my business we were forced to shut down and stay closed until July of 2020. I had met with jackie Colello and together we came up with the idea of the lotus for a mural on the wall. The light fixtures and tiles also have lotus on them. I love working and collaborating with other female entrepreneurs. Hearing their stories about how they got started and giving them love and support. What makes you hustle in business and in your personal life? The desire to continuously be the best

version of myself as a skincare professional, a female entrepreneur and a mother. Tell us about what made you decide to open your own business in the skincare field? After obtaining my esthetic license and continuing ahead with more education, I felt that I was growing personally and mentally alot on my own, I really wanted a place where people could come and feel comfortable talking about their

skincare needs, wants and goals. I wanted a space where you could come in and leave feeling confident and beautiful. What is your most favorite product line to work with and why? All of the product lines that I carry at my office are absolutely amazing but my favorite line to work with is Skinceuticals. Skinceuticals number one mission is the health of our skin. The company is committed to leading

the industry with over 40 years of research and they have a line based on each individual’s skincare needs. I also like that there is always education and classes. Right now I am working on becoming a skincare ambassador for the company. What does the word empowerment mean to you? Using everything I have learned to allow me to create my own space to help others feel beautiful and confident. not just physically but emotionally as well. According to you, what are the skills that are necessary for becoming a successful female entrepreneur? Don’t be afraid to fail, focus your energy on people who believe in you and want to see you grow. Learn how to build amazing relationships with others showing trust and kindness, hold yourself accountable for your own actions and never be afraid to ask anyone for help or questions. Learn that pride can only get you so far and that nobody holds all of the answers. Learn the word acceptance and that we are all going to make mistakes. What do you feel are your greatest strengths? My strengths are, attention to detail, curiosity coupled with an enduring CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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“The theme of lotus throughout the studio is a reminder of how even through the darkest of times beauty still exists.”

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{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS } “I also love working and collaborating with other female entrepreneurs. Hearing their stories about how they got started and giving them love and support.”

desire to learn, my passion for what I do as a mother and a professional, together with my perseverance and persistence, my pursuit of excellence in all that I do. What about some of your weaknesses? A weakness that I have is that I sometimes take on too much and, as all entrepreneurs do, I sometimes struggle to find the appropriate work life balance. What was your first job and how old were you? McDonalds when I was 15 that’s if we aren’t counting the typical babysitting jobs at 12. Who are some of the people that empower and inspire you and why? I have always had the tendency to be inspired by other business owners in and out of my chosen field. Although, one name doesn’t stick out in particular, a number of individuals have inspired and encouraged me throughout the years. If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently? Ask more questions. Learn to trust more. Swallow my pride. “What is your ‘why? ‘” My children. Setting a good example for them. Teaching my daughter to always be strong and confident. Teaching my son to always respect others and be willing to understand those around him. Teaching them

both that strength comes in all different shapes and sizes, to love unconditionally and always stay humble. What is your favorite service to provide to your clients and why? Although we offer a variety of services which I love to provide to my clients, the one that seems to be the most fitting and helpful are the ones that I customize to meet each of my clients individual needs. Name one special moment during your career that has stood out to you. The one moment that has stood out to me and that is special,is the day I opened the doors to my very own Skincare studio in Armory Square. What’s the biggest factor that has helped you be successful? My desire to help others and my passion for always wanting to continuously better myself as a skincare professional. What do you have planned for next year? Continuing to grow my studio and the products and services that I offer. What about five years from now? To train other estheticians to work alongside me and teach them to provide the customized services that have become trademarks of the skincare treatments that I offer. What was the hardest decision you ever had to make? Knowing when to say when in the

varying aspects of my life both, professionally and personally. What is one thing that motivates you? Becoming the best version of myself that I can be in my work life and my home life. What’s the most important discovery you’ve made about yourself in the past year during the pandemic? I learned to believe in myself and that I can overcome any challenge that I face with both hard work and persistence. Where will we see you next? The sky is the limit. The good lord only knows... For more information: www.jessicaelizabethskincare.com/ (315) 956-5833 jessicaelizabethskin@gmail.com

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BREANNA BLUE PHOTOS BY K. VICTORIA PHOTOGRAPHY

Tell the audience who Breanna Blue is and what makes you hustle? I am a strong willed mother of six that will do anything in my reach to help my friend and provide for my family. My family makes me hustle I just wanted to break generational curses and be financially stable. I can honestly say I have. What made you create your business and become a female entrepreneur? A workplace that didn’t appreciate what I had to offer. I’ll never forget getting the call while at work that they were cutting our pay then later finding out it was because they had taken the entire office staff to Paris. Really one of those game changer type of days I’ll never forget making sure my client was off to program then letting her family know I wouldn’t be returning. They weren’t the happiest but understood. At that point I didn’t have a plan just knew I wasn’t accepting what they were offering I was working 60+hours overnight and just couldn’t settle for minimum wage. Tell us one story about someone who has inspired you whether it be personally or professionally. My parents and grandmother inspired me the most. No matter what they dealt with in life they never let anyone’s judgement stop them and they always kept pushing with their heads held high.

What are some pros and cons of being a female entrepreneur, especially in 2021? Pros are absolutely being able to take time off whenever to just spend time with my family and just be present. Cons the only one I’ve run into so far is being counted out but it’s not really a major con. Sometimes working twice as hard makes the reward and appreciation better.

around me grow and succeed with their business ventures. I have a vision of all of us running successful businesses. What sets you apart from your competition? It’s more then money for me. I don’t care about being popular either. I’ve always done things from the heart my biggest motivation has always been wanting to be the person I needed when I was trying to find my way. I’ll help anyone literally it’s just how I am. Have you ever been harassed or discriminated against? In business not that I can recall. My personal life when I wanted to move one of my businesses to a different area the town gave me a lot of pushback. My way around it was just using my space for multiple different businesses.

What are some of the things you find help you to be a successful business owner? Staying grounded and true to who I am and where I’m headed. Plus I have an amazing support system and my staff are truly thee absolute best. What do you want to achieve next? Expansion in every aspect of my life. I want to grow and also help anyone

What have you found to be the most successful in marketing your business and who is your ideal audience? Word of mouth literally. It’s been my best and largest marketing tool. How I treat people truly matters. My target audiences are families in all three businesses regardless of the makeup they are the ones who need my help. Primary caregivers, single moms, new moms, veteran moms, dads and even grandparents.

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{ HEIDI’S LAW } } { SHE HUSTLES TALKS “ My parents and grandmother inspired me the most. No matter what they dealt with in life they never let anyone’s judgement stop them and they always kept pushing with their heads held high.”

What challenges have you faced this year and how have you overcome them? The loss of my mother and father eight months apart. It literally left a whole in our hearts. My team truly held me together so I could focus on healing not just for me but for my kids and daycare families. That’s a pain I don’t wish anyone to experience it’s apart of life but truly a hard part. How do you balance your entrepreneur

life with friends/families that don’t understand the challenges you experience? I’ve been at this for five years now they know its always something I’m trying to figure out or change lol. Usually we have family nights where we all can relax and talk then my kids and family we plan vacations where I can unplug and make memories. But everything is about having good communication.

What do you do for encouragement or to be motivated? Prayer and meditation have always been my go to first. I also journal and word dump a lot. How many hours a day do you work on average? Per day 10-20 just depends on what I’m focused on that day. Once I’m in the zone it’s hard for me to move out of it.

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{ HEIDI’S LAW } }} { { SHE HUSTLES TALKS SHIFT+CONTROL “In order to expand women’s networks to accommodate female entrepreneurs there has to be more collaborations, more network opportunities and more willingness to teach.”

What are some of the challenges you feel female entrepreneurs face, especially minority women? Not being taken seriously. They look at you and either think you’re in it for the money or don’t know what you’re talking about. Then when I start to speak they know that I truly know my stuff. I’ve learned a lot these last few years and as I grow I continue to learn so all of my businesses remain viable. How do you generate new ideas for your business? Based off my passion. If it’s something you love you’re more likely to give it your all. My daycare is because I love children and have a heart for family, companion care agency is because I love helping people at different stages in life and being a doula/ lactation consultant was something I’ve always wanted to do everything about birth and breastfeeding warm my heart. Where do you see your businesses growing in the next year? Three years? In the next year I plan to have expanded everything to have more space and offer more programs. Three years from now 196

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I’ll be a franchise. How do we expand women’s networks to accommodate all women entrepreneurs? In order to expand women’s networks to accommodate female entrepreneurs there has to be more collaborations, more network opportunities and more

willingness to teach. That leaves less space competition and malice. Do you have any helpful advice to someone interested in starting their own business? Don’t give up it’s not an easy road to travel at all but stay focused. You can do it better days will come.

Try to describe yourself in 3 words only. Free spirited, strong and driven. Where did you get your entrepreneurial spirit? Are/were your parents entrepreneurs? I don’t know if I’d consider it an entrepreneur but my dad was a master of many trades. There wasn’t much he’d put his mind to that he couldn’t do. My mom on the other hand was a pure bookworm. She graduated high-school at 14, was in the service and worked as a paralegal then office assistant. My entrepreneurial spirit came from wanting to be more present for my children and knowing that punching a clock for a company that didn’t care about me wasn’t going to give me that.

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WOMEN’S CLOTHING STORE · ACCESSORIES

(315) 741-7961 I FLORIDELLABOUTIQUE@YAHOO.COM I SHOPFLORIDELLA.COM

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HANDS WITH FAITH PHOTOS BY TAKIYAH JEFFERS

Tell us about yourself and what is the mission and inspiration behind your business Hands with Faith? I am single mother of one beautiful daughter. Her name is Takiyah. I am very ambitious, strong minded, a woman of faith, a deep thinker, caring, inspiring, understanding, and creative. I struggled with hair loss and decided to do a side business in 2018. I was helping other women in those two years making tieknot blankets and crochet wigs for mothers and those struggling with hair growth. In those times it was just for therapy, which got me through hard times. My mission is to help and educate single mothers so they do not have to endure the same struggles. What made you decide to create your business and become a female entrepreneur? I still was not feeding my vision. I’ve always had the heart of giving and just finally fed up with being over worked and under paid. I always knew I could do more and had more to offer. The mission of my business is to send a message to those who need to be encouraged and reassured. I have always desired to be affiliated with business for years. I’ve had an interest in typing, organizing, speaking, teaching, and writing. My first leap of faith was quitting my job and work full-time with my home-based business. “MY WHY” came from the eagerness to

be home with my daughter. 2020 was among the years of hard labor, hardships, and tough obstacles. I knew I had to take action in order to make a positive impact in people lives. The only thing I knew how to do was work and had been doing that since I was 12 years old. My desire to build generational wealth is what kept me going. Tell us one story about someone who has

inspired you whether it be personally or professionally. This was a very tough question to answer. Because God has truly blessed me along the way with amazing individuals. Honestly, I wouldn’t be at my current progress if it wasn’t for my best friend Cotillion the CEO of two businesses. Just launched his website tommydiamondelixir@bigcartel.com check it out you won’t regret it. We’re both entrepreneurs and we share a

common vision. He introduced me to Lynn Richardson’s platform. He also taught me a variety of information that I was able to utilize to benefit my daughter and I. Additionally, what got me into the vendor platforms was supporting a close friend of mines. Her name is Angel Hagan. Her artist name is Golden a #1 local rap artist in Rochester N.Y. At that event I was introduced to many opportunities, when I came across another CEO who offers amazing take out and catering services in Rochester N.Y. You can find her on Abby’s St Kittchen on Facebook. My journey this far involved this King and Queen that motivated me to grow and conquer and I’m very grateful. What are some of the pros and cons of being a female entrepreneur, especially in 2021? In my experience of being a female entrepreneur some pros in this century are advance technology. I mean there is literally a mobile app for everything. If you need assistance with editing and software, you can access it with just a tap of your finger. Another pro will be networking, because you are more likely to gain information you are seeking in that area and build connections. The cons I would say the limitations of access to resources depending on your financial circumstance. In order for you to promote and build revenue CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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{ SHE HUSTLES TALKS } “One of my favorite quote’s states; Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance of what we do not see.”

you need cash flow. Another, is your fan base because most people support the person and not just their products. What are some of the things you find help you to be a successful business owner? Some things that I found very helpful was; positive criticism, policies, trial and error, networking with others in the same lane as me, people skills, marketing/ managing, and the benefits of being an entrepreneur. This way it helps me to understand what works and what doesn’t... If you had to pick just one thing that you would consider your “specialty” what would it be and why? My specialty would be my faith because without it, I wouldn’t be doing any of this. What sets you apart from your competition? What sets me apart from my competitors is my determination, how I’m willing to work for my future and build my Legacy while supporting others. My story is what sets me apart from others because I am different from the average entrepreneur. My mindset is in an entirely different spectrum. I am willing to sacrifice by not allowing fear to control me. I believe your mindset is what will lead you to success, and if I had to bet on mine, I guarantee you that my greatness would be beyond this world. Have you found social media to help or hinder you in promoting your business especially during the pandemic? I have found that social media has helped in a way of exposure to my desired

audience. One of my top customer orders came because of social media. However, my overall sales this far were established in person. Even though my viewers increased, it didn’t necessarily increase my conversion sales. What have you found to be the most successful in marketing your business and who is your ideal audience? My most successful in marketing my business is being engaged with people face to face. Getting to know other people story, as well as sharing my own. My ideal audience are people who need or want to be motivated, inspired, or just to be uplifted in any way. What challenges have you faced this year and how have you overcome them? I have faced many challenges becoming who I am today. I’ve recently had a time where my car broke down around the same time, I had vendor events paid for and had to cancel. Or had to make arrangements to downsize. There was a time during a customer order, my machine broke down so refunds had to be made. I have a best friend and huge supporter that has helped me to still make it to my events. Overall, I did not stop creating, I continue to craft, research and network no matter the circumstances. How do you balance your entrepreneur life with friends/family that don’t understand the challenges you experience? Because my business is home based, I believe my balance with my family and friends were more convenient. Being that I am home it doesn’t separate from

me and my daughter because she is able to be apart of it as well. How I balance is being organized with a schedule. Therefore, I am able to still be a mother and have time to do the important task throughout my daily routine. Most of friends that supports me understand my ambition to succeed, so there is not much lack of consideration in that area. What do you do for encouragement or to be motivated? Glad you ask!! I complete many tasks throughout the day. • Exercising • Mediating • Reading variety of books on credit, finance, healthy relationships/marriages, residual income, destiny & manifestation. • Listen to inspiring music & motivational speakers • Write & speak affirmations What is one word that perfectly describes you? If I can think of just one word to describe myself. Although there is many. Lol I would say “AMBITIOUS” What makes your business unique and stand out from others? Glad you ask!! My business originally started from just wanting to make a difference in people lives by becoming a motivational speaker. I realized how great I was using my hands and the willingness to learn new things. Since during the Covid-19, organizations were shut down or limited. So, I decided to motivate people with items they typically purchase anyways. However, with intimate, related and more deep connection with spiritual, motivational,

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“ My business originally started from just wanting to make a difference in people lives by becoming a motivational speaker. I realized how great I was using my hands and the willingness to learn new things.”

and inspirational quotes on variety of products. These products vary from, mugs, glasses, masks, bibles, clothing, hats, file organizers, tote bags, and drawstring bags. Last, I create to inspire all men, women, and children. Because no one should be limited to being encouraged. We all face challenges in our lives so, you never know how a few words can brighten someone’s day.

good with mine and faith because I believe I could. One of my favorite quote’s states; Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance of what we do not see. Do you have any helpful advice to

What makes you hustle? My hustle comes from my “WHY” W h e re d o yo u see your business growing in the next year? three years? I can definitely see businesses growing for me in the next three years. And for the reason for that is because of the potential I have. As well as my mindset. Where did you come up with the name Hands with Faith? “Hands with Faith” is exactly what it states! Because my entire business has been operated around faith. Putting my trust into God completely doing a variety of things I am passionate about. Most of the passionate comes from my works and speaking. Therefore, decided to use Hands because I’m very 206

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someone interested in starting their own business? My first advice will be to ask God for guidance and be open to the changes or challenges that comes with that. Many people don’t have patience and have a

high expectancy of the now. For example, I want to be wealthy in 30days but not willing to cut old/bad habits. You have to step outside your comfort zone. You have to get out of the mindset of scarcity. You have to be willing to take chances in life. You have to be willing to invest into yourself. I would also suggest to do research on legal requirements, networking, cost efficient inventory/supplies needed for your business before immediately spending. This would save much time and cost. Especially if you are a startup business. “What are people saying” about you... I’m not quite sure actually. But I would say through my participation in vendor events, every person was touched by my positive spirit. This far I have been told from customers to keep going, don’t quit, and how my craft product inspired them or relates to someone else they are connected to. I was told that we as people of all nationalities’, ages, and gender need inspiration.

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ADVENTURE BY AMANDA ASHLEY I PHOTOS BY BEAUYEAH.COM

There is no greater adventure than life itself. Locally or abroad, the opportunity to spread your wings, to connect with new people and places, to explore and to reconnect with yourself awaits. Early in my life, my mother instilled the beauty and significance of travel. A part time travel agent for as long as I could remember, (and still to this day even in retirement) she and I shared experiences that I’ll forever cherish and be grateful for. Throughout my youth, we’d spend nearly the entire month of August traveling together.

fullest, and to provide herself and her family with the rich experiences that she was never granted in her youth. With every journey, I’d get to learn and see my mother for the woman she truly is. She was happy, free, and adventurous. She had a willingness to learn, and an agenda to take in all of her new surroundings. As a child, I couldn’t understand the drastic difference in her demeanor. As an adult now, I understand

On a big map, she’d circle and highlight the places of interest, and would collect brochures and magnets from each place we visited. We traveled by Amtrack, car, plane, and cruise ships, and each destination was packed with history, a taste of the culture, good food, and exploring new territory. My mother’s greatest splurge in life has always been her vacations. Her worldly interest developed in her early years growing up in the Bronx, as the eldest of four girls. The responsibility of her three younger sisters often fell on her shoulders, and limited resources kept them from exploring life beyond the concrete jungle of New York City. Becoming a travel agent was her one way ticket to experience life at its 210

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spread thin with time and commitments; I remember thinking my life was over when I first became aware of my pregnancy. I never envisioned myself as a mother, and once vowed to never become one. Motherhood seemed like a wrecking ball to my dreams; limitations, restrictions, time consuming and not very cost effective. I couldn’t fathom how a child was going to fit into my life. I candidly write this, as I know there are many other women out there who fear and think the same as I once did. I will tell you first hand, that yes, life certainly is not the same, but for other reasons than those listed above. Naturally as we progress through life (and more than once) we’ll experience a shift that’ll require a concerted effort to not allow ourselves to be entirely thrown off course.

Life can weigh heavy, and our responsibilities thicken as we grow. That caged bird within is released when we feel alleviated of our everyday stress, and allow ourselves to explore with fresh eyes, and an invigorated spirit.

Just as the pandemic has taught us all, life can change in an instant. It all always boils down to two things; our choices and decisions. Deciding what’s important to you, and knowing what is detrimental to your mental health and overall wellbeing is the first and most important self assessment to make.

Career and travel obsessed, and already

What makes you feel whole, and what

more than ever.

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{ AFTERNOON COCKTAIL { SHIFT+CONTROL } } “YOU contain the key to happiness, connection and adventure; all it takes is a willingness to see life with loving eyes and an open mind.”

aren’t you willing to part with? What makes you proud to be YOU? What can you live without, and where can cut backs be made? Having a child didn’t end my life. Having a child made me realize time and again the significance of prioritization. Not all was or has been lost, but ENHANCED. With extra cargo, we continued to travel. Our careers didn’t end, but blossomed and different avenues have presented themselves as my child has broadened my perspective and definition of what it means to live in this world. Adventure is beyond travel, jumping from planes, climbing the highest mountain, etc. Adventure is a mindset; and embracing it as a mindset can 214

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be unequivocally life enriching. It’s about escaping traditional life for a moment to do something out of the ordinary. Reward yourself daily by unleashing your curiosity, and by granting yourself an hour in your day to explore your HAPPY. Get lost on a hike somewhere new nearby, take an hour trip away to explore a nearby city, take a stroll around a new neighborhood, art gallery or public market, explore a new hobby, try your hand at a new game or activity, go to an open mic, ride your bike off a beaten path, take a trip to a state Park, visit something historical/ learn the history of your area, try a new exotic food/restaurant you haven’t tried, etc….. Ask yourself:

What makes me feel happy and free? What gives me relief? What do I find interesting, and what more can I find out about it? What’s something cool I’ve always wanted to try? The answers lay within your heart, always. Follow your intuition, reprioritize, and create the necessary space for the people and things that resonate with who you truly are at your core. YOU contain the key to happiness, connection and adventure; all it takes is a willingness to see life with loving eyes and an open mind.

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NOTHING WORKS FOR ME BY JENNAFER KELLY

NOTHING WORKS FOR ME...

is going to sting a little.....

You are right!

When did you lose that power?

Nothing works for you if don’t work for it.

When did you stop being your own person?

Sorry, not sorry.

When are you going to realise that you cannot fix anyone but your damn self. When are you going to wake up and really

I remember the feeling though.. Trying a “new” diet every other week and attempting” a workout that I had no clue what was going on feeling guilty when I gave into pizza or other delicious carbs feeling like a failure because I didn’t see results immediately. Look ... you didn’t gain weight overnight and you certainly can’t expect to have the scale magically drop 20 pounds overnight, ok? BUT, IF you LEARN how to change your mindset. And that’s where I come in The BIGGEST mistake I hear people make when they talk about their journey is not loving themselves FIRST. The other is assuming they should know it all on day one or better yet… Be able to DO it all, and have the results in a week! REAL progress? That takes time, effort and consistency. Mental health is not talked about enough You cannot lose weight if your mind is in a constant stressed out,victimized state producing massive amounts of cortisol. Do you know what it’s like to want to wake up happy and live free? Free of others opinions free of your own thoughts.... If your answer was yes my next question

LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE? YOU HOLD THE PEN. THIS IS YOUR LIFE. YOU MAKE THE CHOICES. Every choice has its rewards or consequences. It’s a gamble. Plot twist, YOU CAN CHOOSE TOXICITY OR PEACE BUT NOT BOTH. THEN CREEPS IN PTSD, ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION, TRYING TO SABOTAGE EVERYTHING YOU’VE BUILT. NOT TODAY SATAN. I WILL CREATE THE BEST LIFE I CAN FOR MY KIDS AND I WHICH MEANS WAKING UP QND BATTLING THESE DEMONS ONCE AND FOR ALL.

I want to see everyone eat and be joyful There is a seat for all One rule. You leave your demons at the door and BE LOVE. “live and let live” Fear is a liar. YOU are the super power. QUIT your way to happiness by choosing love. Treating your body like a temple. Nurturing it and loving it back to health. QUIT being afraid of the what ifs. QUIT poisoning your body to hide your trauma and process your emotions accordingly so you can truly experience freedom. Be the creator of your own story. It’s ok to question yourself. It’s never ok to lose yourself in others opinions of you. If you can’t keep going its ok to quit, take a breath find another approach and try again. That’s the universe telling you that chapter is over. Don’t ever settle for less than you deserve. Remember there is at least one person that wants you here. Look in the mirror let that be the first person that loves you.

I hated when I put on a mask at My job that requires if we do not have proof of vaccination we have to wear one.... that I immediately I feel like it’s my ex abuser putting his hand over my mouth to suffocate me.... that my friends is no way to live.

You cannot get healthy if your environment is toxic. Doesn’t always mean you have to physically move but you need to shift your mindset, nurture your surroundings and decide what you want to spend your energy on. Fixing the soil around you because you bloom where you are planted.

So I QUIT MY JOB!

Change your story, you hold the pen.

I QUIT my way to happiness.

How do you want your day to look?

Some people say you can’t quit and consider yourself a winner. I QUIT allowing others to take my power. I realized love and kindness are my super powers and I spread love and light to all willingly at my leisure.

You cannot empower others with an empty cup. Treat your body right, be your own best friend. Love the skin you’re in and focus on making yourself better everyday. Baby steps are still forward movement. Trust the process. Be kind. Rise above. CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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7 BEAUTY HABITS YOU SHOULD BE DOING NOW BY DR. ANIKA SIMONE JOHNSON

Beauty habits are essential to look polished and feel great. There are always unwritten beauty rules you should be following and habits you should implement into your life that will elevate your self-care routine. The daily stressors of life, work, school, and family may easily distract you from paying attention to your beauty habits. So, if you do not have a self-care routine to maintain your beauty habits, your skin, and body will regret it sooner than later.

favorite Cellular Laboratories® De-Aging Sunscreen Broad Spectrum SPF 50+. You should also reapply with the Defense Refresh (Re)setting Mist SPF 40. Your skin will thank you in the future. Try the Cellular Laboratories® De-Aging Sunscreen Broad Spectrum SPF 50+ with discount code: 15OFFMA www.motivescosmetics. com/anikasimone HABIT 4: REMOVE MAKEUP

HABIT 1: DRINK WATER This is a simple one you may not adhere to daily. Drinking enough water helps your digestive system, releases toxins from the body, and keeps your skin clear and glowy. Many certified trainers and doctors have indicated drinking water half your bodyweight in ounces each day is key to staying hydrated. HABIT 2: EAT MORE FRUIT For your morning breakfast always start with raw fresh organic fruit which helps the body to remove waste, mucus, and toxins. Fruits are the most hydrating of foods which helps your organs stay healthy and jump starts your metabolism. Fruit sugar (glucose) is the optimal form of energy for your body and cells. The body does its heaviest detox between 7am - 11am every morning. Fruit, instead of coffee or a fatty meal, will give you energy for the day, cleanse your body, keep your brain sharp and energized. HABIT 3: SPF Adding sunscreen to your skincare routine is vital to your beauty habits. Sun exposure is incredibly damaging especially on higher temperature days if you do not protect your skin properly. Do not solely rely on your foundation that contains SPF, this is not enough. Apply SPF everyday with my

There is no excuse for falling asleep with makeup on. This is such a crucial part of your skincare routine. Leaving foundation on your skin or mascara in your lashes overnight can be detrimental - it can really cause harm to your face. Always take your makeup off every night even when you are sleepy or exhausted. You can try two of my favorite makeup removers. Motives® Makeup Remover Towelettes gently remove makeup, dirt, and oil in one easy step or The Cleansing Oil - Balancing PreCleanse

Treatment - dispense a generous amount of product into the palm of your hand and use your fingertips to gently massage onto the skin for a minimum of one minute. Rinse with lukewarm water. Try the Motives® Makeup Remover Towelettes with discount code: 15OFFMA www.motivescosmetics. com/anikasimone HABIT 5: WASH YOUR HAIR A clean scalp promotes better hair growth and washing your hair is vital to maintaining healthy hair. We have different kinds of hair and shampooing may vary for your hair type. Oily hair could be washed every day to prevent buildup of dirt. Dry/damaged hair could be washed every 5-7 days to allow some of your hair’s natural oils to be retained on the scalp. Fine/ thin hair could be washed every other day to provide your hair with enough moisture. Do your research, be consistent and take good care of your hair. Be sure to consult with your cosmetologist for specialized hair care advice. HABIT 6: CLEAN YOUR MAKEUP BRUSHES Clean and disinfect your makeup brushes to prevent infections (and pimples!). We use makeup brushes daily, yet we tend to overlook an important fact that makeup brushes need to be cleaned regularly, free of build-up and bacteria. Bacteria build-up can happen almost instantly, so it is necessary to at least spray some alcohol-based solution or 70% alcohol on your brushes daily. If you adopt this habit, you will only have to shampoo your makeup brushes every week or biweekly. Remember clean makeup brushes allow you to apply makeup smoothly because they are not drenched in excess products and oils. CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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“The daily stressors of life, work, school, and family may easily distract you from paying attention to your beauty habits. So, if you do not have a self-care routine to maintain your beauty habits, your skin, and body will regret it sooner than later.”

{ HEIDI’SBYLAW { {SHIFT+CONTROL BEAUTY DR J} } } “ There are always unwritten beauty rules you should be following and habits you should implement into your life that will elevate your self-care routine.”

HABIT 7: THROW AWAY OLD MAKEUP Every three months/four times a year, make it a habit to go through your makeup bag and get rid of weird textured, smelly, or discolored makeup products. Any foundation, concealer or creamy makeup product that changes over time should never touch your skin. You should make it a habit to keep track of how long you’ve had a foundation, concealer, and mascara. This is imperative to 222

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maintain clear skin as these can cause skin irritation, breakouts, or allergic reactions if they are expired. Remember you’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret to your success is found in your daily routine. #KeepWinningOnPurpose Stay connected to All Things Dr. J. Beauty for more beauty habits.

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WHAT’S TRENDING BY SARA PAVIA

SUSTAINABLE HOT SUMMER You know what they say, what goes around comes around – whether it’s trends from another era or the way we treat others and our planet! And this summer nothing is hotter than focusing on new ways to fulfill our wardrobe and home décor needs than with sustainable, secondhand fashion.

upcoming seasonal looks are influencers online. They research and scour retailers and runways to see what is up and coming. What you can do is take their recommendations and then buy the items at your local thrift. After all, transitioning your wardrobe each

- This fall you’ll see lots of sequins – what better option than grabbing an actual vintage sequin top or coat from the thrift store? - Fall will also bring you tailored and androgynous looks – as said above, blazers (And vests) can be found fruitfully in the men’s section - You’re also going to be seeing a lot of the “ski sweater” trend as the weather gets cooler – think a weekend in Aspen. To grab that sweater look, head to the thrift store and scour for your best vintage style

Some of the hottest trends this year are just recycled from bygone eras. And the greatest part about shopping and thrifting at secondhand stores is you can find those trends, but the authentic version of them. Ask any millennial these days and they’ll tell you vintage is IN. Events like The Lucky Flea are popping up throughout our region because the desire to have original styles and less fast-fashion influence is real. But it’s not just about buying secondhand, it’s also about knowing which trends to follow and when.

season with new items can be expensive; especially when it’s incorporating trends that may only be around for one season. With thrifting, you can get the “look” not only for less but for REAL – skip the fast fashion duplicates and go for the actual thing!

The best people to show you the

Some of the hottest trends right now

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- Street casual style – think a hoodie under a blazer - Oversized blazers (be sure to shop in the men’s section for these!)

Around this time every year, students go back to school shopping for the hottest trends – but let’s not kid ourselves into thinking we ladies don’t like a wardrobe refresh as well! The excitement of new pencils, pens, and paper gets all of us craving a fresh wardrobe for the transition into the fall season. But when you’re considering shopping for those fresh styles, remember to think secondhand first.

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of summer and leading into fall are: - 90’s/early Y2K. Think mom jeans, and crop tops. We’re talking Wild Fable at Target but the real deal at the thrift

- Satin is making a comeback as well – satin dresses or even vintage nightgowns, paired with the right shoe and jacket When you’re thinking about rounding out your summer wardrobe and begin building for the fall, consider adopting the trends with a trip to a secondhand store (Secondhand means thrift store, consignment and more). What’s even hotter than wearing the trends, is wearing them secondhand. Sizzle and stylin’! Join for more secondhand style, tips and fun at Second Look @secondlookstyling

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WHAT IS MEDICARE? BY BRIAN MAUST & ROBIN LEONE

Medicare is a federal program that offers health insurance to American citizens and other eligible individuals based on age, disability, or a qualifying medical condition. Medicare is individual insurance and doesn’t cover spouses or dependents.

Original Medicare (Parts A & B) is provided by the federal government. It helps pay for hospital stays and doctor visits, but it doesn’t cover everything. You may add coverage by enrolling in one or more private Medicare or Medicare-related plans.

Who can get Medicare? U.S. citizens and legal residents Legal residents must live in the U.S. for at least 5 years in a row, including the 5 years just before applying for Medicare.

STEP ONE First, you need to enroll in Original Medicare provided by the federal government.

You must also meet one of the following requirements: • Age 65 or older • Younger than 65 with a qualifying disability • Any age with a diagnosis of end-stage renal disease or ALS

Go to socialsecurity.gov to enroll online or call or visit your local Social Security office. Medicare coverage options 228

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And, you can also add: Medicare supplement insurance(Medigap) Helps pay some out-of-pocket costs that come with Original Medicare OPTION 2 Medicare Advantage Plan (Part C) Combines Original Medicare Part A & Part B coverage in one plan Usually includes prescription drug coverage (Part D) May offer additional benefits like vision and dental coverage

Eligible with a disability? Your Medicare eligibility begins after 24 months of receiving Social Security disability benefits. How do you enroll? If you are receiving Social Security or Railroad Retirement Board benefits when you become eligible you will be automatically enrolled in Medicare Parts A and B. You’ll receive your Medicare card in the mail. If you’re not receiving benefits, you need to sign up for Medicare when you become eligible.

OPTION 1 Medicare Part D Plan Helps pay for prescription drugs

PART A Helps pay for hospital stays and inpatient care PART B Helps pay for doctor visits and outpatient care STEP TWO Now, you can look at additional coverage options offered by private insurance companies

Maust & Leone is a full-service Medicare insurance agency. We help clients become more knowledgeable about all things Medicare related including Original Medicare, Medicare Advantage and Supplement plans as well as prescription drug plans. We assist clients in selecting and enrolling in a plan that best fits their needs. Maust & Leone offers every plan available in Monroe County, western NY and additional states. Our agents are fully licensed, extremely knowledgeable, and always mindful of our focus which is complete client satisfaction on every occasion. We look forward to assisting with your Medicare related needs!

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DOG DAYS OF SUMMER BY TAMMY VREELAND

Ever hear the saying “Dog Days of Summer”? Is it just a random saying or does it actually mean something? Believe it or not, it means something. It means it is the hottest and most uncomfortable part of the summer! Historically, it was the period following a star system known as Sirius, which also is known as the Dog Star. This saying is not something new but has been around for a long time! In Hellenistic astrology, this time is associated with drought, heat, sudden thunderstorms, mad dogs and bad luck. Not a particularly popular time of the year. When can you expect the ‘Dog Days of Summer’? Anywhere from the beginning of July to late August. It can range from 30 to 61 days. Whew! That’s enough time to make anyone dog tired of summer! Speaking of dogs, we need to be aware of the dangers this time can cause our dogs. We need to make sure our best friends have plenty of cool water at all times! Certain breeds of dogs cannot handle heat as well as others. Take my two, Edgar & Grayson. French Bulldogs are known not to be able to handle the heat. They have a hard time regulating their temperature. I am fortunate to have a setup where they can venture out of the central air into a fenced area any time they wish. However, even then, I have

to monitor their play time as well. Making sure they have plenty of shade, for they love to be outside!

blood vessel constriction and even lead to hypothermic shock if you cool them too quickly.

Unfortunately, this year I lost a lot of big trees that was their natural shade. To rectify this, I put up a canopy for them. Which actually worked out well for their little kiddie pool. It not only stays cleaner but also cooler.

But that’s not to say they can’t enjoy a nice cold treat, as mine do, once in a while. Whether it be ice cream, popsicles, or yogurt, they love it just like we do.

Grayson loves his kiddie pool! Sometimes, all you see are his little ears perked up while he is lying completely in the water. Edgar tolerates it but prefers the AC. Another important thing to remember for our little guys is the pads of their feet! Too often we do not realize how hot a surface is for we have shoes on! A nice rule to remember is to place your hand on the surface you are going to walk them on. If it’s hot for you, it’s hot for them! And water, did I mention water??? No matter what kind of dog you have, give them plenty of water during your walks and at home! Dogs pant to cool themselves down, they do not sweat like a human. When a dog pants, they rapidly inhale, humidify, then exhale the air which increases evaporation of water from their nose and lungs. So, having plenty of water re-hydrates them! You may have noticed earlier I mentioned “cool” water. Where it may be tempting to give them ice cold water to cool them down quickly, be careful! Ice cold water can trigger

One trick I have used for years is taking gravy from their soft dog food and mixing it with half water into ice cube trays. A treat that lasts a little longer than most and they love it! ‘Dog Days of Summer’ may instantly remind you of a hot time in the summer, but I also want it to remind you of our dogs and how they look to us to help them get through this difficult time. With August here, what types of National Dog Days can we expect? Here’s a couple… August 23rd - National Ride The Wind Day - Take a page out of a dog’s life and enjoy the wind in your face! Whether it be on a boat, on a motorcycle or simply hanging your head out the window. Sometimes feeling the wind lifts you on those hot days! August 26th - National Dog Day Convenient that this happens in this month. A perfect excuse to pamper your best friend. Take them to the lake, beach, or nearest garden hose and enjoy the water with them! They are always there for us, make sure we CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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{ TAMMY’S TIDBITS } SHIFT+CONTROL “Take care, enjoy your babies, and make the most out of ‘Dog Days of Summer’!”

are there for them. While this could be the most miserable time of the summer, it doesn’t have to be. In fact, it simply challenges us to make the best of a bad situation. Try to slow down during this time, pace yourself. Be kind to yourself 234

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and know your limits. Also try to know the limits of others around you, whether it be human or animal.

spoiling them (and me) with frozen treats and playing in the water with them.

I guess I missed the memo about being miserable during ‘Dog Days of Summer’. I always thought the saying meant spending more time with your dogs! Enjoying lazy days,

Perhaps it still can be, since they need us more during this difficult time. Take care, enjoy your babies, and make the most out of ‘Dog Days of Summer’!

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ALYSSA TRAHAN PHOTOS BY ANTHONY ROMANO, 412INK

So tell us about country singer, songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, and audio engineer, Alyssa Trahan. I grew up in East Rochester, NY, and have always loved music. I have been writing songs in my head for a long as I can remember, and I thought everyone did that sometimes! But when I got older, I realized that not everyone did that and I was actually writing songs! My dad played guitar around the house when I was growing up and one day I asked him to teach me to play so I could add music to my songs. That really put things in motion and soon I was recording my original music at local recording studios, playing gis at coffee shops and bars around town, and uploading covers on YouTube from my bedroom. I didn’t really know where my music fit in until I heard artists like Faith Hill, Shania Twain, Carrie Underwood, and Taylor Swift on the radio. Then it all clicked for me. I remember seeing programs on TV of artists and songwriters in Nashville and they all said if you wanted to make it in country music, you had to be in Nashville. So, one summer I asked my parents if we could go to Nashville on summer vacation. They said yes, and I remember the second I stepped foot in Nashville I had this feeling that I was supposed to be there. Fast forward a few years later, my music was getting more serious, and I asked my dad to take me back to Nashville on “business trips” as we called them. We took

probably dozens of trips to Nashville over the course of a few years, while I was attending college at Finger Lakes Community College for audio recording, and in 2016 I finally made the move. It’s been a whirlwind ever since, but I think that feeling I had the first time I visited Nashville with my family was spot on. What made you decide to become a musician/singer? I always say that you don’t choose music, music chooses you, and I really believe thats’ what happened to me. It’s in my blood, literally, my whole family is pretty musical. So I was surrounded by it growing up. When I was old enough to know what songwriting and performing were, I knew I wanted to do it for the rest of my life. I’ve never had a backup plan. Tell us one story about someone who has inspired you whether it be personally or professionally. One person who has continued to inspire me throughout my career is Dolly Parton. Not only is she so talented and massively successful, but she does everything with such intention and grace. I haven’t had the chance to meet her myself, but I know countless people who have met her and they have all said how kind and down to earth she is. She’s a true artist and has stayed true to herself even with massive fame. I love everything she does and often find myself saying “what would Dolly do?” regularly.

Your career has really taken off over the past few years, what would you say attributes to your becoming so successful? I work hard and don’t really take vacations. Even on my days “off”, I’ll be writing, booking shows, working on a new track, planning things, etc. Music is my passion and it’s all I ever want to do, so even though I’m constantly working, it doesn’t always feel like work. What are some of the things you find that help you to stay grounded in such a high-paced environment? I think it’s really important to surround yourself with like-minded people and the connections I’ve made in Nashville have definitely helped make things feel more “normal”. If you had to pick just one thing that you would consider your “specialty” what would it be and why? I would say my specialty is melodies. I love catchy, hooky melodies that get stuck in your head for days and I’m known for that in writing sessions in Nashville. What sets you apart from your competition? I think the biggest thing that sets me apart is that I do it all myself. I write, perform, play the instruments, produce, and handle most of my website/social media/booking/etc. I don’t need to rely on anyone else when it comes to my music. Have you found social media to help or hinder you in promoting CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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“I didn’t really know where my music fit in until I heard artists like Faith Hill, Shania Twain, Carrie Underwood, and Taylor Swift on the radio. Then it all clicked for me.”

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{ WOMAN ON THE RISE} } { SHIFT+CONTROL “One person who has continued to inspire me throughout my career is Dolly Parton. Not only is she so talented and massively successful, but she does everything with such intention and grace”

your business, especially during the pandemic? I think it’s a little of both. It’s a great tool to reach new people and expand your audience, but social media can be so incredibly toxic and damaging. It’s both a blessing a curse for creatives! During the pandemic, it definitely helped me continue to get my music to people with livestreams and online streaming. What would be one piece of advice that you have learned that you would give to an aspiring singer? I would say to stay authentic to you. Don’t try to be what you hear on the radio and don’t try to follow in someone else’s footsteps. Be original and be you! What challenges have you faced this year and how have you overcome them? The biggest challenge for me this year has been trying to get back to “normal”. I’ve gotten pretty used to staying home, working remotely, and just locking myself in my studio. Getting back to writing in person, playing shows, traveling, it’s been exhausting and I feel like I need to work my endurance back up. I’m just trying to remind myself that it’s OK to be tired and overwhelmed. We all just went through, and are still going through, an incredibly tough time. I’m doing my best and that’s all that matters. How do you balance your music career with friends/family that don’t understand the challenges 240

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you experience? If someone doesn’t understand or support my music career, I tend to distance myself from them. Being in music is so different from everything else and you really need a strong support system to make it work. I understand if someone doesn’t understand what I do, and that’s fine, but I’m in this for the long haul and have never been more sure of anything, Where is your most favorite place you have performed and why? My favorite place I have performed would be opening for Charlie Daniels at the Steuben County Fair. It was just such an incredible experience to open for someone that was an icon and the crowd was just unbelievable. Charlie and his whole team were also incredibly kind to us. I’ll never forget that day! What is one word that perfectly describes you? Hardworking! Where do you see yourself in 3 years? Five years? I honestly have no idea where I’ll be in 3 or 5 years, but I try not to think about that too much. I do know I’ll be in music, but I’ll let it take me where I’m meant to be! What makes you hustle? Music is my passion and the only thing I want to do for the rest of my life. I don’t have a plan B and I don’t have a safety net. It’s this or nothing.

What made you decide to be a country artist rather than, lets’ say a pop star? To me, country music isn’t about the boots, the hats, the banjos, or the fiddles. It’s not about the beer, trucks, or daisy dukes. It’s about the songs and the stories. It’s about the truth. My music has also been focused on songwriting and the story in a song, rather than samples and loops. When I heard Faith Hill, Taylor Swift, etc I felt seen and understood. And even though some of my music may sound modern, it still comes down to the songwriting. All my songs start with just me and my acoustic guitar. “What are people saying” about you... I hope good things haha! A lot of people have been asking me about my new record, “Baby Blues & Stilettos”. I am a writer on every song, produced the album myself, and played around 95% of the instruments on it. It also charted in the top ten on iTunes. That’s not very common for female artists in Nashville, so it got some conversations started. People also call me a crazy cat lady all the time because I have two cats! Where will we see you next? I’ll be hitting the road on my Baby Blues & Stilettos Tour starting July 1st and will be touring all around NY and TN including opening for Maddie & Tae, Tracy Lawrence, and more. I’m so excited to finally get back to playing music for people and hope everyone is ready to sing and dance and have a great time!

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LIFE AFTER WORK BY NANCY E. BOWES, CFP®

THE PSYCHOLOGICAL SIDE According to the Stanford Center on Longevity, children born in the year 2000 will likely live to be 100 years old. Moreover, there is a direct link between education and life expectancy, the more educated you are the longer, healthier life you’ll live. You can see the trend in financial planning models which now use 93 as a standard life expectancy for females and 91 for males. That means you have about 30 years or one third of your life to plan for after work. In her lectures on longevity, Dr. Laura Carstensen founding director of the Stanford Center on Longevity says that as a society, we need to plan for living longer starting in early childhood years. Think about the obesity crisis, children in poverty are experiencing early onset of diabetes, and diabetes leads to dementia. Compare this to the more privileged, highly educated population where the dementia rate has declined globally by 24% in recent years. There is a lot of work to be done. Dr. Carstensen describes the timeline of life, where the first 50 years we are “taking” from parents, educators, and employers, then the last 50 years we are “giving back,” sharing our knowledge and experience. As we age into our fifties, striving for healthy foods, the

right amount of sleep and exercise, it becomes even more imperative if we want to live our last year’s productive and with less pain! Equally important is our mental health. The place to start is by trying to get more out of life outside of work. Diversify your social network. Reach out to family, friends, and individuals whom you share common interests. Go back to school, explore hobbies, or join organizations that are meaningful to you. These are investments in your

emotional wellbeing. In the United States we have a more difficult challenge because of the five-day work schedule. Our society really needs to re-evaluate and consider a four-day work week. Marc Freedman, author of “How to Live Forever” published in 2009, warns us about the devastating effects of loneliness, it is the primary cause of illness in seniors

today. He believes in the enduring power of connecting the generations. If you think about it, age segmentation is relatively new in society. The Happy Birthday song didn’t exist until the 1930’s. Before then, no one knew their age, it wasn’t important. Then Social Security came along and brought with it the expectation that when you retire you become “old” at age 65. When you look at our society, the children are in schools, the parents are in workplaces and the elderly live in senior facilities, the three are separated. In his book, he talks about the importance of proximity – bringing people of all ages together in their daily lives. He highlights an example, where Singapore government officials in 2018 legislated that all new developments of senior centers must have a child daycare on the premises to bring the generations together. Another heartwarming example is the story about a senior apartment building near the Cleveland Clinic and Case Western Reserve called Judd Manor. The culture loving residents offered free room and board to university music students in exchange for playing free concerts. The web of relationships generated was ever lasting. One of the viola students was CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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{ FINANCIALLY {{ SHE HUSTLESSPEAKING TALKS} } } SHIFT+CONTROL “Instead of planning for retirement, we ought to plan for our “second middle age” with freedom and independence.“

marrying another student and asked one of the residents (90 years old) to be their matron of honor. The more integrated we are, the happier we will be. To stem the bias of “ageism”, Freedman founded Encore.org and Experience Corps with the idea of linking career ”second acts” to the greater good and to mobilize people over fifty to improve the school performance and prospects of lowincome elementary school students in 22 cities. This led to the creation of the Encore Fellowship program, a oneyear fellowship helping individuals translate their midlife skills into second acts focused on social impact. There is even an annual cash award of $100,000 for those individuals who really make a difference with their efforts. These programs are now coordinated through AARP and you can go onto their website to learn more. Instead of planning for retirement, we ought to plan for our “second middle age” with freedom and independence. Dr. Bill Roiter* explains how the transition of a “career” focused life to a “meaning” focused life after retirement relies on the same skills 246

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we used during earlier transitions in our life, such as entering the work force, getting married, or starting a family. We need to evaluate our own skills and focus on the parts of our job that we really enjoy in order to figure out how to apply those talents in retirement. If you have strong organizational skills, you can help in coordinating a project in your neighborhood. If you’re a good

communicator, you could publish a community newsletter. If you are wondering about your own life expectancy, there are several longevity calculators available online, including (1) Living to 100, (2) Blue Zones Vitality Compass, and (3) Blueprint Income. Lifetime expectancy calculators use data to help assess the likelihood of how long you are going to live. These calculators offer no guarantees of

accuracy, but they might help with a life expectancy that is more realistic for you. Retirement planning is not just worrying about saving enough money. We must envision a long life. We cannot do what our parents did, and we must consider more than just staying out of a nursing home. If you are getting close to retirement and you don’t know what you’re going to do, treat it as a worrying sign. Don’t assume it’s going to be oaky and that it is all going to work out. Figure it out now before leaving your job so you don’t waste time during your h a rd - e a r n e d retirement years with disappointment and boredom. Get busy. Remember, the biggest risk of failure in retirement is setting the bar too low. Nancy E. Bowes, CFP®, is Vice President – Wealth Advisor, CNB Wealth Management, Canandaigua National Bank & Trust Company. She can be reached at (585) 419-0670 x50673 or by email at NBowes@ cnbank.com.

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THE POWER OF REDEMPTION BY MATT ALBERT I PHOTOS BY BRODY WHEELER

Against All Oddz is not just an animal sanctuary. It is not just a rescue. Nor is it just a legal based animal advocacy resource center. While it is all those things, founder and attorney Matthew Albert says it is more than just that. It is a state of mind. “The two core tenets of Against All Oddz are the sanctity of life and the power of redemption,” said Albert. “We believe in empowering people, empowering animals and empowering people through the gift of animals.” Founded in 2015 as a rescue, Against All Oddz, a 501c3 registered New York State not-for-profit corporation, took the next step in its growth last year by purchasing 30 acres of land out in Darien Center, New York. From there, they have built structures to rescue and rehabilitate animals. With the legal background of its founder and its members, Against All Oddz’s niche and focus is animals that are ensnared in the legal system and providing those animals with both legal representation and rehabilitative assistance. They have also served as consultants for other attorneys to advocate for animals, and now have

a sanctuary and place of refuge for courts to place animals from their cases as a humane alternative to euthanasia. From that standpoint, Against All Oddz is the first of its kind in the United States to have such a holistic approach in dealing with court case dogs. The most famous resident is Vanessa,

a dog designated dangerous in a controversial case that captured the attention of animal advocates around the nation arising out of the small town of Ogden, New York. With animal advocates around the country hounding for her release, Vanessa’s death sentence was ultimately vacated due to Albert’s appeal and then placed into Against All Oddz as an alternative measure. She is now

thriving, with her loving owner, Jeremy Wolf, visiting her multiple times a week. Hers is but one of countless fascinating stories of dogs’ journeys through the system and into a path of redemption through Against All Oddz. However, Against All Oddz does not just take on court case dogs. They also serve as a rescue of last resort and have assisted other animal rescues who have nowhere else to place dogs that do not have any other options or places to go. With that in mind, the biggest obstacle for Against All Oddz faces is developing an infrastructure to deal with the ever rising demand. “We try and assist everyone who calls us with an issue, whether that be by linking an owner up with a certified trainer in their area, finding legal representation for an animal, and everything in between,” said Albert. “We are in desperate need of fosters and/ or volunteers to handle the ever growing demand for our services.” Visit them at www.againstalloddz.org

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YOUR CHILDREN AND DIVORCE BY JULIE V. MERSEREAU

THE PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, B E H AV I O R A L , ACADEMIC & FINANCIAL IMPACT OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN.

happening in the home-life so the doctor can take that into consideration when evaluating the child. In addition, it is important to keep track of the children’s regular physical health checkups and vaccinations. When there is so much going on in a parent’s life during the divorce process sometimes the normal

Children are impacted by their parents’ divorce on every level. Divorce is stressful for parents. The children feel it and carry their own stress as well as the impact of the parental stress. We see this in their physical health, emotional health, behavior and academic performance. They are also impacted by the change in the financial status of their households and even by the change in their physical environment. Physical Health: Children often have the stress and confusion of divorce show up in physical symptoms. These physical symptoms can include: • Decreased appetite, other changes in eating habits • Headache • New or recurrent bedwetting • Nightmares • Sleep disturbances • Upset stomach or vague stomach pain • Other physical symptoms with no physical illness Parents should be sure to watch what is happening with their children for signs of these symptoms. If they appear, it is important to address the symptom with the child and consider speaking with the child’s pediatrician about what is

see what is happening with the children. The child may think they caused the parents separation. They may think that they were “bad” so mom and dad fight and can’t stay together. This is a significant burden on children and can cause physical symptoms as identified above. Some parent’s turn to their children for support during the divorce, they treat the child more like a friend and relay on the child to make them feel better. This puts incredible stress on the child. The child needs to feel that the parent is caring for him/her, not that he/ she is responsible for caring for the parent. The child may be experiencing the abrupt loss of one of the parents, who is not longer living in the marital home. The child may believe that s/he won’t ever see the parent again. This raises issues of abandonment and anger.

scheduling of health care can be lost in the confusion. Emotional health: Divorce is scary, the child’s world is changing, and they don’t have any say in what is happening. They can feel helpless, alone, angry, scared and sad. Very often parents are engulfed in their own emotional turmoil and are unable to

Academic performance: The child’s homelife and stress impacts their ability to function at school socially and academically. Parent’s may see disruption in school performance and attendance. The school may need to be informed of what is going on at home so they can help address symptoms that show up during the school day. All children are different, some hold their feelings inside and the parents may not see the impact of the divorce on their children. Other children may

{ COLLABORATIVE LAW { SHIFT+CONTROL } } “Children are impacted by their parents’ divorce on every level. Divorce is stressful for parents.”

show outward signs that are more easily interpreted. All children deserve to have their issues and concerns noticed and considered. Parent’s should be attentive to their children and remember that what happens in the parent’s life happens in the children’s lives. When keeping the children in mind please consider the following Children’s Bill of Rights.

affect your life; for example, when one of your parents is going to move or get remarried. 7. The right to reasonable financial support during your childhood and through your college years. 8. The right to have feelings, to express your feelings, and to have both parents listen to how you feel.

Every child whose parents’ divorce has: 1. The right to love a n d b e l ove d by both of your parents without feeling guilt or disapproval. 2. The right to be protected from your parents’ anger with each other. 3. The right to be kept out of the middle of your parents’ conflict, including the right not to pick sides, carry messages, or hear complaints about the other parent. 4. The right not to have to choose one of your parents over the other. 5. The right not to have to be responsible for the burden of either of your parents’ emotional problems. 6. The right to know well in advance about important changes that will 258

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9. The right to have a life that is as close as possible to what it would have been if your parents stayed together. 10. The right to be a kid. Talk to your children. Let them know what is happening. Even though talking to children about a divorce is difficult it must be done. The following tips can help both the child

and parents with the challenge and stress of these conversations: • Do not keep it a secret or wait until the last minute. • Tell your child together with your spouse if possible. • Keep things simple and straightforward and don’t share more information than your child is asking for. • Tell them the divorce is not their fault. • Admit that this will be sad and upsetting for everyone. • Reassure your child that you both still love them and will always be their parents. • Do not discuss each other’s faults or problems with the child.

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“RESOLVING DISPUTES PRIVATELY WITH DIGNITY AND RESPECT.” Julie focuses her practice on Separation and Divorce, and other Family Conflict issues. She is committed to helping people through difficult transitions and to providing options to stay out of court and in control decisions affecting your family. Call Julie to discuss your options or visit her website at Resolvefamilyconflict.com for more information. Julie believes in personal attention and guidance through these difficult family circumstances and life transitions.

585-377-5487 I JMERSEREAU.COM I OFFICES IN ROCHESTER AND SYRACUSE CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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HAIRLOSS BY GABRIELLA ROSE FIEDERLEIN

Many people in this world like to feel beautiful or want to be beautiful. There are services that can be performed on c clients in order to make them feel and be beautiful. People care about makeup, their skin features, their eyes, and their hair. People feeling secure about their looks and themselves are all always going to matter. Feeling beautiful it all makes us feel empowered, and flawless… until we lose hair. Hair loss can occur for various reasons. Age, genetics, pregnancy, diseases, and stress. Hair loss can be temporary or permanent and can happen overtime or very quickly. For many people this is a traumatic experience. This is why the hair loss industry alone is a billion dollar industry. It is essential for cosmetologists to comprehend hair loss and to help out clients with advice. I.HAIR STRUCTURE: The hair shaft and the hair follicle are different parts of the hair structure. According to google the term “hair” defined is “any of the fine threadlike strands growing from the skin of humans, mammals, and some other animals”. The term “structure” is defined as “the arrangements of and relations between the parts or elements of something complex”. Together the two words combined are arranged hairs that have specific functions and are specifically 260

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structured in order to represent their part of the scalp. Starting off with the broad category of hair structure, it has been scientifically proven that an individual will never have 100% of hair on their head growing at the same time. Each second, each minute, each hour, while 85% of each strand of hair strand on

our heads are growing, the rest is in the resting stage. The hair structure is made of three main layers: the outer cuticle, the middle cortex, and the central medulla. Through all of those layers, the whole head of hair is naturally composed of the protein

keratin. Keratin is a building block or protein which creates the presence of melanin. Melanin is just a term for the pigment of hair. Most hair is naturally pigmented. Why is that? What if we do not have a natural pigment, what happens then? Well natural melanin- the pigment of the hair- would give off a natural base color, which would be either black, brown, or red. If an individual is born with the base color of red, that’s called pheomelanin. There is also yellow, but that is not a natural melanin. If the color yellow is seen, that would be the hair cortex. Sometimes there may not be pigment at all. There may not be melanin or pheomelanin, this means that the hair is white. The term for white hair is “canites”. This hair is white even though it may look grey because grey hairs do not exist. Hair follicles are a small “tubular cavity or sac containing the root of the hair”. Every hair strand grows from a hair follicle. What is the function of a hair follicle? “The function of a hair follicle is to produce a hair shaft. The function of human hair depends on the part of the body from which it grows. Human hair performs several functions”. A hair follicle could be compared to the claw in a game arcade. It has a thin tubelike structure on top, then the claw would be the sac or cavity towards the bottom. Supporting the hair follicle is a wall which is called the outer “root

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“As a cosmetologist, I know it is important to always keep up-to-date with treating hair loss and to learn new things as today’s technology and services become more modern. Having my future clients being able to trust me is the most important thing to me.”

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{ SHIFT+CONTROL { BEAUTIFY ME } } “Hair loss appears in many different ways depending on what’s causing it. Many things could potentially cause hair loss. Some types of hair loss are temporary, and some are permanent.”

steath”. What does a wall do? Walls protect, they block, they cover, and they shield. Inside of the outer root sheath -wall- are the sebaceous glands and the bulb. The bulb is a settling place for the hair stem cells. It collects fluid. The sebaceous glands lubricate the skin in order to keep the hair follicles alive and hydrated. The lower part of the follicle has the function to widen out to form the hair bulb which contains the germinal matrix. The germinal matrix is the source of hair growth. The hair shaft is the hair that we can sede. It’s dead hair and is made up of three layers of keratin. The hair shaft has three layers, the medulla, the cortex, and the cuticle. Each of those layers are very important. Each layer has a specific function. The medulla is the innermost layer of the hair shaft. Depending on the type of hair, the medulla may not always be there. The cortex is the middle layer and makes up the majority of the hair shaft. Both the medulla and the cortex contain pigmenting cells which are responsible for the natural hair pigment. The cuticle is the outermost layer formed by packed scales in an overlapping form. Here is a fun fact: hair conditioning products are formulated to even out the cuticle by smoothing out its structure. Their hair grows to a maximum length, the hair sheds and gets naturally replaced. That is the cycle. Every second, minute, hour, day of our life we only have 85% of our hair on our head and the rest of the hair is in

resting stages. The hair growth cycle has three stages and/or phases which are catagen, telogen and anagen. The anagen phase is the period of active growth. The cells are constantly dividing as new cells are formed, they push the older ones upward where they change shape eventually. When the cells are one-third of the way up the follicle they are dead and full of keratin. Eighty-five percent of follicles are in the anagen stage. The telogen stage is the resting stage before resumption of growth. Fourteen percent of hair follicles are in the telogen phase. Remaining hair sheath still in contact with the papilla is known as the secondary or the root germ. From the root germ, a new hair follicle can grow. Shortened hair follicles rest for about three months. After the telogen stage, the cycle returns to the anagen state and root germs grow downwards forming the new bulb surrounding the dermal papilla. The upper part of the germ forms new cells that lengthen the follicle below the club hair. The new hair can be able to push out old hair which is why some people are able to see two hair follicles on one same strand. The catagen phase is a changing stage where 3% of all hairs in the head are in this stage at any time. The catagen phase lasts 2-3 weeks and during this time, growth is not as fast and the outer root sheath shrinks. It then attaches to the root of the hair, formingt what is called a ‘club’ hair. II.

HAIR LOSS:

Hair loss is never a good thing. Hair may thin, fall out, break off, or grow slower. Dandruff, itching, and peeling may appear. Hair loss appears in many different ways depending on what’s causing it. Many things could potentially cause hair loss. Some types of hair loss are temporary, and some are permanent. Some types of hair loss cause gradual thinning on top of the head, circular or patchy bald spots, sudden loosening of hair, full body hair loss, or patches of scaling that will spread over the scalp. Gradual thinning on top of the head is the most common type of hair loss. It affects both men and women. Age can also cause this. Circular or patchy bald spots can also occur in bears or eyebrows. They can be coin shaped and sized. Skin may become itchy or painful. This type of hair loss usually only affects the scalp. Sudden loosening ofd the hair is another type. Handfuls of hair may come out when washing or combing the hair. A physical and emotional shock could cause this to happen. This type of hair loss usually causes hair thinning and not bald patches. Full body hair loss could be caused by medical treatments, conditions, or chemotherapy. However, hair will usually grow back. Patches of scaling can spread over the scalp, there are signs for that. Signs of ringworm, or random redness, swelling, broken hair and oozing are signs of this. There are also diseases that could cause hair loss such as androgenetic alopecia, alopecia areata, trichotillomania, traction CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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{ SHIFT+CONTROL { BEAUTIFY ME } } “Hairstylists want their clients to feel amazing about themselves and full of self-esteem. A hairstylist who wants to help a client build self-esteem must have a relationship with that client.”

alopecia, tinea capitis, cicatricial alopecia are some examples of diseases. Some things that can cause hair loss are childbirth, high fever, sudden weight loss, surgery, severe stress, and lastly serious illness. III. MEDICAL ADVICE, TESTS, AND DIAGNOSIS: Anytime that someone experiences any signs or symptoms, they should see a doctor or dermatologist. Any sign or symptom can range from very mild to highly dangerous. Signs and symptoms can be redness on the scalp, patches of baldness, irritation, hair fall out, etc. Anytime when someone’s hair falls out in excess amounts or 266

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when something unusual happens, an individual should seek medical attention immediately just to make sure that everything is okay and safe. There are many tests that can be done such as blood testing, urine testing, or scalp sampling. Scalp sampling is used to determine the presence of scalp irritation or infection. If symptoms are severe then the patient could get a possible x-ray. A doctor can find a cause of the loss so the patient can begin proper treatment. Hairstylists want their clients to feel amazing about themselves and full of self-esteem. A hairstylist who wants to help a client build self-esteem must have a relationship with that client. The

most successful stylists form excellent relationships with their clients. When people lose hair, no matter what the cause is, it can crush their confidence and self-esteem. As a cosmetologist, I know it is important to always keep up-to-date with treating hair loss and to learn new things as today’s technology and services become more modern. Having my future clients being able to trust me is the most important thing to me. I need to show them that no matter what hair problem occurs.. I will always be there to help beautify. @Beautifyme247

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GREAT SEAFOOD IN ROCHESTER BY RANDY AGNESS

I’ve talked about a lot of travels around New York State and haven’t really mentioned my hometown to often. This is where it all started so five years ago. I decided to start producing wine specifically Riesling. And many things haven’t changed. It’s been all about personal relationships with visits on-site and selling on taste as literately no one anything about us. That’s completely fair. All I could toute was that we were the newest Riesling in the Finger Lakes. I determined that we weren’t going to be everywhere and we definitely needed to create distinction from among the several hundred New York wineries already existing and beyond that the thousands of those across the nation. It’s not an easy market to crack into. Where to start? Right here in my backyard! So we did just that. Many of the first restaurant clients are still with us today. When you want to test the waters, why not try selling the best locations for fine dining. I felt our Riesling matched up to the best in the Finger Lakes and we were spired on by a few nice acknowledgements including being voted best new wine in America by Beverage Industry magazine’s reader’s poll and being awarded high enough wine rating point scores by the renown experts at Wine Spectator and Wine Enthusiast placing us in the top five Semi-Dry Riesling in the Finger Lakes. That quite an accomplishment for the first vintage. And that attracted the eyes of Bartender magazine coming from being non-existent into an exclusive groups among those that have been

producing for many years and even decades. We became the featured wine of the month. Now we at least had something to talk about. I made a cold call to the Food & Beverage Manager at the Strathallan Hotel about setting up a samplings that would be a convenient day and time. The manager at the Stath mentioned they had one of the best wine lists in New York as a Wine Spectator Where to Drink Well

Restaurant called Char. And stated that he had never heard of us. But I was able to convince him to spend a few minutes on their patio. I arrived and the manager grabbed a few wine glasses and headed outside. I ask if he would do the honors of opening the bottle. He pulled the cork and said so you guys are serious upon glancing at the cork. After chatting about wine. The manager asked so how many cases are we taking. Char at the Strathallan regarded as a outstanding steakhouse flame to plate, yet maintains delicious seafood

items including a flurry of appetizers including PEI mussels, Oishii shrimp cocktail and blue crab croquettes and main menu items such as Hokkaido scallops and flame-roasted Oyster based Chimichurri. I had dropped off a bottle of our Riesling at Lento Restaurant in City Gate. Owner and Executive Chef Art Rogers offered our sample during a staff meeting for evaluation. Afterward, Art called me to say that he stood up holding the glass up to say “This is one of the best Finger Lakes SemiDry Riesling I’ve ever tasted.” I said back to Art, that’s a big statement. Art replied, “Quote me.” Why did I pursue Lento? Art Rogers created a wine list to include some of the best Rieslings from the Finger Lakes and renown for excellent entrees featuring top seafood options. “We also go out of our way to track down sustainable seafood and practice whole fish butchery to use the entire fish instead of just the filets. We make seafood charcuterie, pates/dips and such with the scraps and soups and stews with the bones.” “We use wild Gulf shrimp for a form of traceability and to promote human rights and environmental sustainability,” mentioned Rogers. He continued, “Our menu changes daily based on what fish/seafood we can procure that meets our standards. This also goes to the menu in general with our support of local farms and serving what is in season at its peak.” Don’t be surprised CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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{ TRAVEL WITH AGNESS WINE }CELLARS } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Sometimes you only have to check out your local community to find exactly what you’re looking for. Who says that you can’t mix business with amazing food.”

to find soft shell crab and fried squash blossoms seasonally. As far as the role of wine and seafood pairing. Lento does of course Riesling provides a wide listing of white wines. “Riesling is a go to choice with almost every seafood option I can imagine as well as the plethora of other amazing whites and sparkling from our region,” commented Rogers. Max Rochester has been a major upscale player in the restaurant business in Rochester. Owner and Executive Chef Tony Gullace has probably trained many if not most of the chefs making an impact around greater Rochester as well. Max Rochester includes both Max Bistro and Max Chophouse and a great catering operation. Tony gave us a try-out at each location as his staff adopted our Riesling until switching to a French Bistro orientation. Of course, I still dine at Max simply because it very very good food. My favorites include items that are not on the menu. As you know, the only way to get access to these menu items is to have a knowledge of their historical offerings like Scallops, Oysters, Clam Chowder, Bluefin Tuna and Lobster Bisque, but you’d be surprised with chef specials and off the menu treats like an Atlantic 272

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off Nova Scotia Halibut, shrimp and lobster pasta carbonara or my absolute yum appetizer Little Neck Clams with Chorizo garlic, parsley, white wine, lemon and chives as a savory broth. If you can image it, Max most likely will have it and be absolutely fresh as the catch of the day rotates daily. When you venture into Max Chophouse. Yes, Chophouse you will also find an

outstanding assortment of delicious seafood options as well. A few years ago, I found a great listing of BYOB restaurants (Bring Your Own Bottle) with a corkage fee across greater Rochester along with those who offer discounted Oyster days. One such place began appearing on a number of significant restaurant lists. There’s a very nice restaurant called Revelry Rochester on University serving American cuisine the traditions of South Carolina including

high level emphasis on hospitality and putting a passionate focus on delicious menu items to please their guests. Based on recommendations, I decided to pursue a relationship with Revelry. The general manager offered a opportunity to sample their staff with our Riesling. Shortly after, a call came in to order. The first thing you notice is a clear glass window viewing below the host station revealing their wine storage. Very cool feature. Beginning with small plate specials like Oysters on the Half, Peel and Eat Shrimp, and Spanish Octopus you immediately realize this is a cool place to dine. The large plate menu including Cashew Crusted Salmon along with Shrimp & Grits. Until Covid, Revelry featured a tremendously popular seafood bar. Where will that go? I can only think a return in the near future if not already planned. Revelry has become a player in the Seafood in Rochester. Sometimes you only have to check out your local community to find exactly what you’re looking for. Who says that you can’t mix business with amazing food.

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HELPING END THE DOG MEAT TRADE ABROAD BY JOHNNY WILLIAMS

Animal Care Sanctuary and the Humane Society of the United States once again teamed up in our collective mission to end the dog meat trade abroad.

adults had lingering health issues, but most notably were suffering from behavioral issues. Nearly all of them were immovably terrified and shook uncontrollably when

Last month, HSUS rescued 170 canines from a dog meat farm in South Korea. These animals were desperate for medical care after being discovered living in deplorable conditions. After some recovery time, the dogs were flown to the United States and dispersed to emergency placement partners across the country. As a result, Animal Care Sanctuary received 10 adult dogs as well as a mother and her four two-weekold puppies. These canines came from a traumatic, inhumane situation, and needed special care as they get ready for what a loving home should feel like. We reached out to amazing swath of supporters and quickly found a foster home for the mom and pups, as shelter life is no place for puppies so young. The remaining 274

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Over the following weeks, our staff worked carefully with the canines to make them more sociable and help them realize that their nightmare was over. Many have since recovered enough to find their new, loving homes, although the psychological effects of their previous lives will stick with them for a long time. As one of the select few emergency placement partners with HSUS, we are extremely proud that our rural shelter on the hill is having an impact across the world, and we could not do it without your support. Please consider donating via our website, www. animalcaresanctuary. org, and help us continue to make the world a better place for animals.

approached. The conditions these dogs were discovered no doubt left them with a canine version of post-traumatic stress.

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{ TRAVEL{WITH AGNESS WINE} CELLARS } SHIFT+CONTROL “Animal Care Sanctuary and the Humane Society of the United States once again teamed up in our collective mission to end the dog meat trade abroad.”

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GOD’S HEALING POWER PART 2 BY TALENA SKYE

Today we live in a got to have it now world instead of waiting and believing in faith. God’s word says faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. Without faith it is impossble to please God. Everything we need from Christ is required by faith. When we need to buy something in this world, we use money to get what we need. Money is the currency to complete the seller buyer transaction. Faith, in the kingdom of God is the Christian’s currency. When we pray for something, we can be rest assured that if it’s found in God’s Word, we can have it as long as we employ our faith to receive whatever we asked for. The same works with sickness and disease. Jesus made it possible for us to be healed from the redemptive work on the cross. When we use our faith while confessing healing scriptures over our lives, it will bring healing to our bodies. However, we must understand that faith...is...the...key to receiving anything we want from God. The enemy hates when we use our faith while believing God’s Word because he doesn’t want us to receive our blessings from God’s promises. Healing and deliverance is God’s will for our lives. God’s healing 278

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medicine is the Word of God! When we allow sickness to rule our lives by not fighting it using the Word of God, we allow the enemy to gain power over us. Jesus stripped the enemy of his power when He shed his blood for us by laying His life down on the cross. When we don’t fight against the enemy using God’s Word for any battle in our lives, as well as sickness and disease, It gives him power over us to wreak havoc. Scripture tells us...”No weapon formed

against us shall prosper” Isaiah 54:17 Sickness is a work of the devil, Jesus came to destroy the work of the devil. Through His name, we have power over hell. Sickness is also a weapon the enemy uses to destroy humanity. One powerful weapon in scripture to use when sickness attacks our bodies is...”By the stripes of Jesus we are healed” Isaiah 53:5 Some people ask why would God allow sickness and disease in the world? Answer? When Jesus is not the God of

the world there will be chaos, corruption, sickness, and all sorts of hell! Satan is the God of the world, the bible says, which is the reason for the born again experience. When we are born again, we are spiritually adopted into the family of God. This allows God to be Lord in our lives but we must invite Jesus into our hearts to receive God’s promises. I became a Gospel rapper/writer to speak truth into the lives of others because the kingdom of hell wants to destroy God in the minds of people. As a child of the most High God, my mission is to share God’s love and truth with everyone I meet. I am a survivir of a brain tumor, car accidents, and the effects of abuse that without God’s healing word, I would be lost or dead. What are you dealing with today? Jesus, Lord over all, loves everyone even though everyone doesn’t love Him! Let Jesus heal you completely from the inside out! Make Him Lord over your life today! There is nothing you can do to stop God’s love for you. His love endures forever. Please visit my channel Talena Skye YouTube Instagram-@talenaskye Facebook-Talena Skye www.talenaskye.org

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AN ACCUMULATION OF THOUGHTS BY RAQUEL WALKER

In a talk I listened to recently, Sadhguru asked the question: how do we grow? There was a quiet contemplation before he said we eat and therefore we are an accumulation of food, and therefore an accumulation of earth. We are also an accumulation of experiences. I thought about this for a while. In fact it has been days, maybe weeks now since viewing that video and the image has burned its way into my mind. Truly it brings a certain tangibility to the common phrase “you are what you eat”. Who we are is the accumulation of our consumption.

not be to be relevant. In the book “A Radical Awakening” Dr. Shefali writes “we have been brainwashed with the idea that our existence can only be fulfilled by fitting an impossible standard of goodness and beauty, which for many of us, happens to be perfection.” She continues with the clarifying statement; this “basically means feeling the pressure to be more of what you aren’t” If you can relate, please know, you are not alone! Continue to question the thoughts you have accumulated and trust the process of whatever path you have chosen.

AN ACCUMUL ATION OF THOUGHTS As creative beings we have the power to shape and reshape our perspectives and our realities. One thing I am, as most are, is an accumulation of thoughts. When I first began offering services for lymphatic drainage one of my thoughts was, “how do I, as a woman who has never experienced this procedure herself, provide this service?” Would surgery make me more credible and valid to my clients, would it add perspective to my business? As I continue to progress what I have come to realize is that my knowledge, compassion and experience places me squarely in the midst of the tensions of two sides of an argument in which my own experience as a mature woman, mother of two and growing entrepreneur provides a qualified and unique perspective. I am an accumulation of a set of experiences that like all women will never be identical to another and need

AN ACCUMUL ATION OF MOTIVATION “I have never been one to workout. When I needed to lose weight I mainly diet. However I do use exercises I have learned to help me to maintain along the way.” “Working out wasn’t working for me, I was discouraged, I wanted to change, I wanted to do this for myself. I have lived my life, raised my kids, it’s time I live for me.” “I am working with a trainer, I’m not where I want to be and a part of me knows I won’t look exactly the way I see in my head” “It’s hard for me to stay consistent, especially when I have to go to the gym alone when people flake. I wish I could love my body more.” I specifically did not make a distinction with the comments that are from post

op versus non post op clients As I selected my samples I realized how much they sound alike from the perspective of change, the reclamation of self, overcoming physical and mental barriers and most importantly the prioritization of self. AN ACCUMULATION OF LOVE Client: They say that women who get surgery don’t love themselves, if we did, we wouldn’t change anything. This statement highlights the central theme of self love that permeates our social conditioning and deeply affects predominantly women on both sides of the conversation. Regardless of the journey you are on, the best thing you can invest in is yourself. This investment may come in the form of meal prep services, trainers, massage therapist, talk therapy, aesthetic surgeons or dieticians. Seek out trained professionals. Yes, there are many self taught individuals who have supported great results for themselves and others, however, a trained professional is required to not only test their knowledge, but grow in knowledge. They also have access to associations, networks and regulations to which they must adhere. Love yourself enough to seek qualified support in attaining your goals. AN ACCUMUL ATION OF PERSPECTIVES Here’s a practice that I find impactful. Have a friend or family member with whom you are deeply connected write you a list of the qualities and traits that they find most attractive CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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{ DIVI9 CHAT } “There was a quiet contemplation before he said we eat and therefore we are an accumulation of food, and therefore an accumulation of earth.”

list aloud repeating each quality three times. As you repeat each of the qualities, dispel any feelings of doubt or disbelief you might have and accept that this beauty is true and radiates from you. Our bodies are ours to care for and maintain, however much of the work begins in our minds. Being mindful of the perspectives we accept. Being aware of the perspectives we attach meaning to, as they shape not only our minds, they shape our bodies. MORE ACCUMULATION Most clients wish that they had more information. My post op clients work to accumulate a ton of information about the surgery process and yet feel under-prepared for the reality of the healing process. Lymphatic treatments are a piece of the puzzle my clients find most beneficial. As the series of treatments progress, clients physically feel better, walking more upright and experiencing less pain and inflammation. They also calmly step into a deeper sense of self awareness as they observe and report on the daily changes experienced within the body and mind. Making the key connection that the focus of the mind greatly amplifies the healing process. This is the magic of the process that anchors me to my purpose as a healer.

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IMPACTFUL EMAIL MARKETING CAMPAIGNS BY BREANN MORRIS

Contrary to popular opinion, the days of email marketing are not over. As a business owner, when budgeting and coordinating your marketing strategies, it’s essential to develop effective campaigns that attract, delight, and engage your consumers. As a result, these campaigns achieve a positive return on investment, while simultaneously building the brand voice that carries out the message your brand stands for. I believe one of the most effective ways to do this and to reach existing customers is through regularly scheduled email marketing campaigns.

Indicators (KPI’s) perform better in open rates, revenue, transactions, and leads when you segment your email list. Customer Relationship Management (CRM) software can be used to best optimize segmentation. A few ways you can segment your customer base is by industry, by sales cycle, or by company size. Segmenting your email subscribers by industry is an effective

This means of communication outperforms all online marketing strategies including PPC, SEO, and content marketing. In fact, on average, for every $1 you spend on email campaigns, you can expect a return of about $50. One of the main factors to consider when crafting an impactful email marketing campaign is to create personalized, targeted messages to reach your different customer segments. Let’s take a closer look at this. CUSTOMER SEGMENTATION As an email marketer, segmenting your customer audience should be your top priority. Research shows that email marketing Key Performance

B2B marketing strategy to identify where your brand can provide service to their brand and vise versa. Segmenting by sales cycle keeps your customers engaged throughout the year for unique promotional deals or free trial offers. Segmenting your email subscribers by company size helps increase response rates by determining if you are sending messages to a larger or small company. Whichever segmentation strategy you

decide to use, the important thing is that you are segmenting. 9/10 email marketers don’t take the time to segment and as a result end up blasting out the same content to a variety of different groups and the messaging then becomes less impactful. Invest in segmenting and you’ll be sure to position your brand above the competition. PERSONALIZED MESSAGES Creating personalized messages is easier than you might think! Personalization is simply using customer data to integrate personalized messages into email campaigns. Almost every company has access to customer information and past purchase data that can be used towards CRM to discover valuable customer insights. For example, it could be as simple as beginning an email with “Dear (First name),” rather than “Dear (Valued Customer).” In fact, personalized email subject lines that address the reader by name can increase open rates by up to 16%. Accessing customer data also allows you to recommend certain products in the campaign based on their past purchases and likes/dislikes. The most recent research found that email marketing generates roughly $0.08 in revenue per email, but if you use personalization in your emails, you CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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{{SHE SHE TALKS HUSTLES {HUSTLES B. MORTALKS } SHIFT+CONTROL }} } “Remember to design your email to be both desktop and mobile friendly. Up to 61% of marketing emails are opened on a mobile device.”

can generate $20 ROI for every $1 invested. Fun fact: 70% of brands do not use personalization in their email marketing strategy. Don’t be like other brands, stand out by personalizing your communications! Designing the Email

the most important information at the top of the page. Using specific call to action messaging and bulleted lists will help divide up your content into sections to make the messaging clear and easy to understand for subscribers that skim the email.

Presentation is everything, so once you know what message you want to relay, designing the email properly is an important step in making the message clear, concise, and enticing. Here’s some tips: • Don’t include too many promotions, stick to focusing on communicating one message. • Keep your email concise by reducing the length. According to a HubSpot blog, “Data suggests the ideal length of an email is between 50 and 125 words. Emails this length had a response rate above 50%. A similar study found emails with approximately 20 lines of text, or about 200 words, had the highest clickthrough rates. When in doubt, keep emails short and under 200 words.” • Establish a hierarchy for the information in your email by adding 286

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• Don’t be afraid to add links as much as possible. Be sure to use this opportunity to link to a page on your website, a recent blog post, your brand’s social media accounts, and any other content that may be relevant for further engagement. • Remember to design your email to

be both desktop and mobile friendly. Up to 61% of marketing emails are opened on a mobile device. These are just a few tips for creating an impactful email campaign. Not sure where to start? There’s lots of free templates on sites like MailChimp that will help you get started! Keep in mind that your customers will need to opt-in using a landing page on your new site such as MailChimp. Start by creating some achievable goals in terms of how many customers you want to add to your list and build slow and steady. When it comes to email marketing, it’s a process that you just have to trust!

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MONEY CAN ONLY HOLD SECRETS FOR SO LONG BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD

Money can only hold secrets for so long. Especially secrets that can shatter a child’s whole world. Paid silence becomes useless when children who are worth more than the dirty money, grow up. A traumatized sexually abused child who is manipulated by a trusted adult, eventually becomes a broken untrusting resentful adult, who didn’t get the pay out. Who, if they learn someone was paid to look the other way, will affect them just as much as the hands of the dirty old man who hid behind his crooked smile and inherited money. Hiding outside of the shadows in plain sight where an entire town knows, yet does nothing. Placing himself amongst all the things that children will do. Sports functions, events, treats that children long for on a hot summer day. These are places where the snake amongst innocent prey will linger. Watching, observing and staking out his next victim to add to a long list of lives ruined by his perverse way of life. I recently met such a person, and have learned of his skeletons that he doesn’t even hide in his closet. He flaunts them as if his money will keep him safe, even at death’s door. Where I know if this life doesn’t pay his dues, the evil spirits will be lurking amongst the shadows waiting to dig their talons into his weak rotten flesh. Waiting to unleash all 288

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that is deserved on a soul filled with nothing but pure evil. Yet, I have faith in a universe that brings what you deserve full circle and so as much as I feel the pain for those children, My hope is that at least one of them will find the courage to break free of the chains that torment them and let justice break this pitiful excuse of a man.

Let it be the domino effect of the silence being broken and I can witness the demise of a corrupt sociopath pedophile who slinks amongst us. Smiling and leaving his money trail in his wake along with confused hurt children taught to trust him and his devil hands. Until then I will refuse to pretend I do not know. I refuse to lower myself as the people he has paid off. A clique of followers, much like a cult. Praising him for

good deeds here and normalizing the crimes against children he is still committing. shame on the families who think money is greater than the well being of the child who will now suffer PTSD. Who will have anxiety and trust issues. The list will go on and on as to what sexual abuse does to a child’s mind. The outbursts in school and disrupted behavior issues. The once innocent child, now looking to act out perverse acts themselves. Innocence has been stolen by tainted money. How dare a mother take a payout, because if I was that mother whose child got pregnant by a pedophole, or the son who was given alcohol to loosen up so he could play. Let’s just say, he better call the cops on himself. if I got to him before them, well I probably shouldn’t write down in what I’d do. But taking a payout would not even make the list. How does a community that knows of the intent he has with its children, surround themselves with such filth? Is greed and money that much more important, and if so you are just as guilty at ruining lives as he is. And you too will have to pay the price for that. I will not associate with these types of people. I will not pretend this person is a “great leader “ in a corrupt cesspool of fake minions. I will not be quiet.

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KARMA SPEAKS }} {{ SHIFT+CONTROL “You see, I am Karma and I have a voice. And one day every child ever touched will find theirs too.”

I will not be quiet. I will not ever do business with this person. I see you and so do many other people who think like me. And Remember, money keeps secrets until the secrets grow up and find their voice. And I hope that every night when you lay your head down on that pillow you 290

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hear the voices of the children and they haunt you. Haunt you until they come out like ants from the woodwork, and drag your ass right down to the pits of hell. You see, I am Karma and I have a voice. And one day every child ever

touched will find theirs too. May you meet your maker. You know who you are.

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CORE STRENGTH BY BETH PARRY

DEBUNKING YOUR CORE MYTHS

Our core is the foundation of all movements. Your abdominal muscles play an essential role in everyday movement, controlling rotation, forward bending, extension, side flexion, and many additional motions. Multiple injuries can occur when your core is weak, playing a role in pain in your back, neck, hip, and knees. How can you tell if your core is weak? Have you been pregnant? Gained weight? Back problems? Abdominal surgeries? If you answered yes to any of these questions and are not actively exercising your core, chances are your core is weak. Did you know that having a strong core has NOTHING to do with crunches? You can do crunches all day, and all you have accomplished is building muscle under your tummy fat and encouraging muscle imbalances that may eventually lead to low back pain or postural issues. Core strength is one of the most essential types of strengthening exercise you can do as you age. Core strength can improve your posture, decrease back pain, improve your balance, improve your daily activities, and so much more. Let’s debunk a few myths you may have on developing core strength. 1# COMMON MYTH: Crunches do NOT lead to 6-pack abs. While you may be developing the muscle of a small portion of your core (rectus abdominis), you are not losing abdominal fat by doing crunches. 292

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Having definition in your stomach is accomplished by a strict diet, cardio, strengthening, and genetics.

pelvis, which eventually leads to low back pain. So there is no great reason to “target” your ab work.

#2 COMMON MYTH Planks are the best way to train my abs. While this statement does hold truth, planking can do just as much harm without the appropriate form. Correct form is crucial to planking. Planking is all about quality, not quantity! We will be discussing good form on planking later in the article.

#5 COMMON MYTH Sucking in your gut is bracing your abs. Your workout instructor will cue you to “brace your core,” and the person will end up holding their breath. Bracing your core is learning to activate your transverse abdominis (TA). This is the deepest muscle in your abdomen that acts as your natural girdle. Holding a TA hold is about bracing that deep muscle, not pulling in your belly button. You can work on bracing this muscle by exhaling like you are blowing up a balloon, holding the end contraction while returning to normal breathing, and pull in your pelvic floor. It takes practice to find this muscle. Engaging this muscle is a great way to protect your spine, improve your posture, and decrease low back pain.

#3 COMMON MYTH Your core involves muscles in your pelvic floor, abdomen, back, and even your glutes! These muscles include your Transverse abdominis (the muscle that is your natural girdle), Multifidus (tiny muscles along your spine), Internal and external obliques (muscles along your sides), Pelvic Floor (Ladies, strengthening these muscles are essential for so many reasons), Rectus Abdominis (your 6 pack muscle), and finally your glutes. Every muscle has a vital role in your day-to-day function. Therefore, it is important to make sure you have a balanced strengthening plan. #4 COMMON MYTH You can “target” your low abs. Guess what? There are no “low abs.” You have multiple layers of abdominal muscles. If you have had abdominal surgery, it can weaken your abdomen. It is essential to work your core as a whole. Most of the low abs you are targeting are your hip flexors. Tight hip flexors can cause pulling on your

When teaching a class or during physical therapy treatments, we always encourage neutral spine and functional core training. This means no extreme flexion, extension, or rotation. Any of these extreme motions can encourage slipped/herniated disc, spinal stenosis, and increase your risk of a spinal fracture. These neutral postures are safe for any age or diagnosis. Planking can be a very beneficial exercise when completed with good form. You can also advance a plank making it more challenging as you progress. Here are some instructions for perfecting your planks. Start in the top of a push-

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WELLNESS 360 } } { {SHIFT+CONTROL “Abdominal muscles play an essential role in everyday movement, controlling rotation, forward bending, extension, side flexion, and many additional motions.”

position. You will want to be sure your head and neck are in line with your spine. You can do this by looking 6-12 inches past your hands. Next, engage your deep abdominal muscles, pull in your pelvic floor, and tuck your tail bone. Keep your torso straight and rigid and your body in a straight line from the tip of your head to your toes with no sagging or bending. You 294

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can start by holding this position for 10 seconds and work your way up to a full minute. This can be modified by placing your hands on a higher surface like a countertop or chair. Do not ever push through pain or discomfort. Listen to your body. Wellness 360 is a physical therapy clinic that focuses on the wellness

portion of acute and lifelong disease management. We can support your journey to improved balance, decreased back pain, or improved posture, amongst other things. Check us out at www.wellness360fitness.com.

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MAITRĪ BY JUDI SWANSON

Maitrī is defined by Wikipedia as “benevolence, loving-kindness, friendliness, amity, good will, and active interest in others.” This word is translated from Sanskrit and is a virtue of Buddhism. I believe with every fiber of my being that every single one of us has the potential to increase our loving-kindness to ourselves and to others. There are times in life when you take an action, like being kind, when perhaps you just were not feeling your kind vibe at the moment, that this kind action will do a plethora of positive things for the other person and for you. It becomes a positive party for everyone. Scientific research supports this. A Wall Street Journal (WSJ) article titled “Why Being Kind Helps You – Especially Now” states ““being kind—doing something to help someone else—can help you, too. Research links kindness to a wealth of physical and emotional benefits. Studies show that when people are kind, they have lower levels of stress hormones and their fight-or-flight response calms down. They’re less depressed, less lonely and happier.” Buddha says “If you light a lamp for someone else, it will also brighten your path.” In reading the news and hearing comments from many individuals about the negativity going on in the world, often, not always, it seems like too many of us ask the question “Why isn’t this person or that person doing this, doing that, doing more or doing less.” I must confess that used to be me. One day I had this light bulb moment, a moment of internal clarity. Instead of being a back seat driver I could hop into the driver’s seat

to see what actions I would do to make a difference, to be the change I wish to see in the world. This isn’t always easy and there are times I want to say this is not my problem because it appears to not directly impact me. Yet as being a human on this planet who shares space with all of you other humans, an assortment of other creatures and more, it does impact me. As Marshall McLuhan states “There are no passengers on spaceship earth. We are all crew.” Yes all of us are crew, in this giant rocky, challenging, glorious, joyous boat called Earth. My chosen career path immerses me with people struggling with a variety of challenges that affect them with different degrees of intensity. My humanness, from my own experiences of challenges, to seeing people I love struggle, has taught me to not judge or shame. I used to judge and shame myself, which carried over into all of my relationships and perspectives of others. No one wants to be dealing with hard stuff, even when some of their choices got them there. So what if we simplified it all. For ourselves and for others. We take a loving-kindness perspective for ourselves and for others. We use a “so what, now what” forward moving action step? After working on myself to change how I saw myself, and others, it helped me to be a kinder, gentler, and more loving person. I was happier and prouder of the person I am. “Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.” Arthur Ashe The majority of us know when we are making decisions that are not healthy for us. We know when we are taking an action that is not in our best interest. Our mind, body, and soul sends signals, which

all of us, myself included, have ignored. Nothing feels right about a decision yet you make it. Your insides can be screaming at you to not doing something and you do it. Perhaps something terrible or tragic happens. What if, instead of berating ourselves, or someone else, we were loving, kind, and caring. We use compassion and empathy. It does not mean we forget what happened. I know when I have made a mistake or a decision I should not have. What if we gift to ourselves, and others, the same kindness and care we give to children who make mistake by guiding each other to better decisions and choices. Think about what kind of world that would be. “Be careful of how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.” Lisa M. Hayes My thought today is to be kind and gentle to yourself. Work on changing those inner thoughts of how you talk to yourself. Change the inner and outer conversations you have about others. Even if you are not believing your words, you can fake it, and if you fake it long enough, say it long enough, your brain will believe it. By changing the words you use and how you say things will change your brain, your heart, your soul. You deserve all the loving-kindness in the world. Give it to yourself. Give it to others. You have the power and ability to be the person you want to be. You matter. Who you are and what you do makes a difference. May your Maitrī be with you.

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VAGINISMUS IS A THING! BY ANGELA DUNCAN, PSY.M

The definition of Vaginismus is “painful spasmodic contractions of the vagina in response to physical contact or pressure”. (nhs.uk.com). It is the body’s automatic reaction to the fear of some or all types of vaginal penetration. The problem women with vaginismus face are that any time they try to insert an object such as a penis, tampon or speculum into the vagina, the walls tighten up from involuntary contraction of the pelvic floor muscles. This can be incredibly painful and cause temporary cessation of breathing. Without treatment, aside from the distress and frustration, it may get worse.

SECONDARY VAGINISMUS “Secondary” vaginismus develops after a woman has already experienced normal sexual function. This condition can occur at any stage of life. It usually stems from a specific event, such as menopause, an injury, infection, surgery, or childbirth. Emotional issues have also been known to trigger secondary vaginismus.

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Symptoms can vary between individuals but may include: • Painful intercourse (dyspareunia) with tightness and pain that may burn or sting • Penetration being difficult or impossible • Pain during tampon insertion • Pain during gynecological examination • Generalized muscle spasm or breathing cessation during attempted intercourse

Vaginismus comes in different forms and symptoms can vary between individuals. Age, emotional issues, and medical problems can all play a role in the type of vaginismus a woman experience. There are a variety of treatments, which involve emotional and physical exercises. PRIMARY VAGINISMUS “Primary” vaginismus is a lifetime condition in which pain has always been present. This condition is usually discovered by women during their first attempt at intercourse. The spasms can be so intense that women have expressed the feeling of “hitting a wall” when trying to insert a tampon or other object into their vaginal opening. The pain is intense but will subside when the attempt at vaginal entry is stopped.

spasms and pain. Situational vaginismus occurs only in certain situations. It may happen during sex but not during gynecological exams or tampon insertion.

• Long-term sexual pain with or without a known cause. Vaginismus can be caused by emotional triggers, physical stressors, or both. Physical stressors may include:

Even after underlying medical conditions have been corrected, the symptoms may continue if the body has become conditioned to respond to pain in a certain way. Global and Situational Vaginismus The last two vaginismus are “Global” and “Situational”. Global vaginismus is always present, and any object will trigger

• Urinary tract infections, yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis. • Childbirth • Menopause • Cancer or lichen sclerosis • Inadequate foreplay • Insufficient vaginal lubrication • Medication side effects Emotional triggers include: • Fear from painful events, such as pregnancy

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{ HIP HEMP } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Age, emotional issues, and medical problems can all play a role in the type of vaginismus a woman experience.”

• Anxiety about performance because of guilt • Relationship problems • Traumatic life events, including rape or a history of abuse • Childhood experiences, such as the portrayal of sex while growing up or exposure to sexual images. DIAGNOSIS AND TREATMENT A diagnosis starts with an appointment with a qualified physician, who will take a medical history and complete a pelvic exam. Depending on the cause, treatment could involve different specialists. The aim of the treatment will be to reduce the automatic tightening of the muscles 300

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and eliminate the fear of pain. Treatment may include pelvic floor control exercises, education, counseling, emotional drills, reducing sensitivity to insertion, or dilation training. It may take a mix of any of these treatments before vaginismus can be successfully overcome. The important thing to remember is that you are not alone. There are ways to help with the pain, such as In The Pink, organic Intimate Massage Oils. These oils can also help lubricate the vaginal opening. The added benefit of their essential oils helps to soothe the

mind and body, inducing the feeling of relaxation and reception. In The Pink Organic Moisture Drops are estrogen-free organic perles designed to sooth, hydrate and restore your vagina. These drops are made with Hemp Seed Oil, which is packed with Omega 3 and 6 linoleic acids with anti-inflammatory, detoxifying and analgesic properties. The anti-inflammatory can help calm painful spasms. You will also find Grapeseed Oil and Vitamin E in the Moisture Drops. This also produces anti-inflammatory, anti-bacterial and anti-aging benefits along with being deeply moisturizing and nourishing.

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HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW BY CINDY DECAROLIS

“The glory of gardening: hands in the dirt, head in the sun, heart with nature. To nurture a garden is to feed not just the body, but the soul.” – Alfred Austin, English Poet “And the secret garden bloomed and bloomed and every morning revealed new miracles.” – Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden

When we moved in, there were some bushes in a small bed in front of the house. They were in rough shape, so a couple of years ago I asked Louis to rip them out. I had the intention of planting a flower garden in the space. Of course, not knowing what to do I didn’t do anything. This spring Louis said he wanted to plant tomatoes there. So, I was forced

I admire gardeners because gardening is a skill that I wish I possessed. I love looking at gardens and I love having fresh flowers in the house. Many of my friends (Juliet, Marie, Maya, Melissa) are talented gardeners and have beautiful yards. They know what needs to be done and they do the work. My biggest problem is that I don’t know where to start. The whole process is overwhelming to me. The extent of my gardening has been our annual Memorial Day weekend trip to plant flowers on the graves of my family members buried in the Watertown and Clayton cemeteries. When we get home, I plant any extra flowers in pots and put them in the yard. We live in a house that is close to 200 years old. At some point, somebody planted a garden along the side of the house that still blooms. It looks overgrown and a little bit wild, but flowers still appear throughout the summer.

to act. I saw some landscaping around Starbucks on Route 96 in Victor that was just lavender – tall purple flowers in groups. It looked so simple and beautiful that I decided that was what I would do this year. Just plant some lavender and plant some begonias along the edge of the bed. Off we went to Wayside Garden Center to buy some lavender plants. Big decision – what type of lavender to buy. I chose Provence Lavender because it is tolerant

of poor soil, loves heat, and can withstand humidity. The employee I talked with at Wayside said that the plants would grow to be about 1 ½ feet wide and would flower. I planted the lavender, planted begonias around the edge, and potted the remaining begonias. I watered the garden faithfully on dry days and waited for the lavender to grow. (Here’s a fun little side note, I got poison ivy when I was digging, but that’s another story.) After a few weeks, I began to think that I had done something wrong because the lavender hadn’t grown yet. Then I talked to the lavender farmers at the Fairport Farmers Market. They told me that the lavender will grow to the size I was told, but it takes a year or two! They also told me that now that the lavender is planted, I can basically ignore it – making it the ideal plant for me! Louis has been the gardener in our family. I think he really wants to be a farmer. Every year he plants vegetables in raised boxes behind the garage. He experiments with methods that he reads about in Mother Earth News. Not all of his attempts at different vegetables work, but I will say, consistently his tomatoes do really well every year. At Wayside Garden Center I noticed a CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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{ { BLISSFUL BALANCE}} SHIFT+CONTROL “The glory of gardening: hands in the dirt, head in the sun, heart with nature. To nurture a garden is to feed not just the body, but the soul.”

sign that said Gardening is Horticulture Therapy. The benefits of working in the garden on individuals with mental illness was first documented in the 19th century by Dr. Benjamin Rush, a signer of the Declaration of Independence and “The Father of American Psychiatry”. Today, the American Horticultural Therapy Association defines the practice as “the engagement of a client in horticultural activities facilitated by a trained therapist to achieve specific and documented treatment goals.” Certified Horticultural Therapists treat a wide variety of clients, including veterans suffering from PTSD and elderly with dementia. 304

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There are also physical benefits to gardening. According to Robert Hutchins, M.D. M.P.H., of Chapel Hill Internal Medicine and Carolina Clinic, the health benefits of gardening include: • Improving heart health due to the cardiovascular workout provided by manual labor. • Keeping your hands and fingers strong from digging, planting, and pulling weeds . • Being in the sun boosts Vitamin D levels. • Growing your own food provides the ultimate farm to table experience.

• Exposing children to dirt can strengthen their immune systems. Encouraged that I can just relax and let my lavender do its thing, I plan to keep cultivating my little garden. My next adventure – planting tulip bulbs in the fall. At Blissful Balance LLC our mission is to help you to live life healthier. You can follow us on Facebook @ blissfullbalanceroc and Instagram @ blissfull_balance.

“Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.” - Buddha At Blissful Balance our mission is to help you to live life healthier. Let us help you to author your own health. Offering wellness workshops, individual health coaching and essential oils.

Please contact us for a complimentary consultation 585-532-6060 or cindydecarolis62@gmail.com www.blissfullbalanceroc.com Facebook @blissfullbalanceroc Instagram blissfull_balance

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DEALING WITH MAJOR DEPRESSION BY BONNIE FLOYD

We have all felt depressed from time to time. Everyday life is full of multiple opportunities to feel down. Perhaps our car repair bill exceeds what we expected it to be, or we step on the scales, only to discover that we have gained five pounds over the weekend. Feeling down in response to negative life event is entirely normal. However, the development of clinical depression is an entirely different matter. Depression is a serious medical disorder. The lifetime risk of suicide for patients with untreated depression is 20%, whereas the risk for treated depression is only 0.141%. Major depression affects every aspect of our well-being; it has motivational, cognitive, emotional, and physiological symptoms. Consequently, it is most accurate to define depression as a mindbody disorder, as opposed to a mental illness. Motivational symptoms are marked by reduced drive to engage in activities, including those that were previously enjoyed. Cognitive symptoms include the display of cognitive errors, such as engaging in “all or nothing” patterns of thinking; emotional symptoms include a deep sense of sadness or an inability to feel pleasure. Physiological symptoms include fatigue, increased/decreased appetite, and increased/decreased sleep. There are many different types of depression. A major depressive episode is characterized by a period of two weeks or longer in which individual experience certain symptoms of major depression: feelings of sadness

and hopelessness; angry outbursts, irritability, or frustration over minor events; increased fatigue, so that even minor take extra effort; weight gain or weight loss; changes in sleeping habits; slowed thinking, speaking, or body movements; feelings of worthlessness or guilt and rumination about past failures; difficulty with thinking, concentrating, making decisions, and remembering things; unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches; loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities; or frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide. Sometimes, an individual experiences a single instance of a major depressive episode. Other individuals may struggle with depression as a chronic illness, experiencing multiple episodes of depression during their lifetimes. It is important to remember that symptoms of having an isolated episode of major depression are just as serious as those experienced by individuals who have been diagnosed with recurrent major depression. In my experience as a clinical psychologist, individuals with recurrent major depression are more likely to experience the inability to experience pleasure, as opposed to feeling extremely sad. Episodes of major depression are frequently triggered by a situational event, such as a death in the family, the loss of a job, the ending of a relationship, or some type of trauma, such as a physical assault. A leading theory of the development of mental illness is the diathesis-stress theory. This theory

maintains that a biological vulnerability to the development of mental illness interacts with the experience of a stressful event to produce emotional distress. A biological predisposition is not sufficient in and of itself, to produce depression; similarly, a stressful event by itself is not sufficient to produce symptoms of a depressive episode. There are well recognized gender differences in experiencing a major depressive episode. Women are twice as likely than men to experience depression. Depressed men are more likely to exhibit increased anger and irritability; they are also more prone to making risky choices. Women who are depressed are more likely to feel guilty, sad, and ashamed. There are several important means of coping with a major depressive episode. Receiving psychotherapy is an important component of dealing with depression. Cognitive-behavioral therapists address how cognitive distortions lead to the development of depression. For example, those who are prone to the development of depression often engage in catastrophic thinking; they jump to the worst- case scenarios when faced with difficult circumstances. Being consistent with taking antidepressant medication is another important component of treating depression. For those with recurrent depression, it is necessary to remain on antidepressant medication on a long-term basis, even when not feeling depressed. Finding the most CENTRAL NY WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2021

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{ MENTALLY THINKING} } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Major depression affects every aspect of our well-being; it has motivational, cognitive, emotional, and physiological symptoms.”

effective antidepressant essentially involves trial and error. The best outcomes are associated with reception of psychotherapy, plus taking an antidepressant medication; this effect is synergistic. Spending time with supportive individuals is of great benefit during periods of depression, despite most depressed individuals’ tendencies to withdraw from others. Practicing adequate self-care is critical when 308

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dealing with depression. Self-care may include attending therapy or support groups; practicing meditation or yoga; journaling thoughts and emotions; actively challenging negative thought patterns; and engaging in relaxing and enjoyable activities. It is essential to practice good physical health habits in order to combat depression; eating a healthy diet, trying to obtain adequate sleep, getting plenty of exercise, and avoiding alcohol and

drugs is extremely important. Finally, spending time outside is an important strategy to combat depression. Depression is very challenging, but it is a manageable medical condition.

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GUIDE TO LIVING “WHOLE-ISTICALLY” BY KELLI LAPAGE

This month marks 13 years since I started my entrepreneurial journey with WellTrail, Inc. The previous 15 years saw me embark on several career journeys including where it all started- in the athletic training rooms at Washington University (St Louis) and Syracuse University. I remember my first days, nervous and unsure, but also filled with excitement and anticipation of what would lie ahead… the growth, the learning, the relationships that would be built along the way. But I know starting off as a fresh eyed newbie, I was not thinking about what struggles might lie ahead. And perhaps that is the good part about being young and optimistic, and certain that the world is always good and fair and just. Because you just take the leap. You trust yourself - you still trust those around you - and you believe in dreams. Fast forward to my first career shift. Leaving my chosen path as an athletic trainer at a prestigious university where I was surrounded with world class practitioners and athletes, and colleagues, remains the hardest decision I have ever faced. It was the right decision. I was the single mother of a new baby, and I simply could not justify the long hours and amount of time travelling that I would need to be away from my baby girl. I knew my life had gained something far more important than my career dreams - for now I held the ability to support another life through their journey. By this time, I understood the power that decision would have over the trajectory for the rest of my life- although I was unclear what that 310

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trajectory would be. But I stepped into the world of corporate health and wellness still fresh eyed and excited, but this time with the added weight of knowing that my decisions and their consequences, and my success or failure, were no longer mine alone. And with that realization, for the first time in my life, came doubt and hesitation. This was new to me, I had always had the confidence to try new things, to take calculated risks and

to reach for the stars- but with a child at home dependent on my outcomes and no other fall back, I started to second guess myself. I worked harder than anyone else, took multiple classes and certifications while working 70-hour work weeks and being on the road 60K+ miles a year. I hired a nanny so I could be mom 100% and employee 100%, but I forgot to be ME 100%. At age 35 I was moving up the corporate ladder raising an outstanding young human and coaching soccer and still

being athletic trainer for a local collegiate program- and I was happy (I thought). But I was tired. I was sleeping 3 hours a night and I felt like I couldn’t stop because if I did, all the balls I had in the air would drop- and I couldn’t bear the thought of letting the people around me down, most of all my daughter. So, I kept pushing. I kept doing more. And I kept getting further and further from myself, until finally fate stepped in front of me- with a roadblock I had not anticipated. One day I was superwoman- and the next day I could barely walk. I couldn’t pick up my daughter, I couldn’t sit for more than 5 minutes at a time. I couldn’t do all the things I needed to do. At first it just seemed like another challenge I had to overcome, but this was different. While I kept moving forward and somehow found ways to still perform at the level I was accustomed too - my body simply kept getting in the way. I had to change my travel frequency, I had to find accommodations so I could be functional all day until I would go home and lie down in bed unable to move until I took 1600mg of ibuprofen in the morning and forced myself back up. And I thought this was normal. I thought this was being strong. Until the day my daughter told me she was scared every time I was out of her site that I was going to get hurt again - or worse- that I would not be able to come home. And that was when I took a step back. And when I did, what I saw altered me for life. For I saw that as I was pushing myself to every limit, to be everything to everybody, I had actually

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{ WELL TRAIL } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “For I saw that as I was pushing myself to every limit, to be everything to everybody, I had actually been setting an unrealistic, unhealthy and anxiety inducing precedent for my young daughter.”

been setting an unrealistic, unhealthy and anxiety inducing precedent for my young daughter. I saw her start to struggle not only with separation anxiety from me, but she had been so hard on herself. She had to be the best, and she would work so hard which of course can be a good thing, but not when it is always accompanied by fear. I could not believe that in trying to model a strong independent role model for her, I had actually set her up to constantly feel that she was not going to be enough. This broke my heart. So, I took my next big leap of faith, and started WellTrail. This leap 13 years ago was different. While I still believed I myself, I now had the wisdom of experience, the clarity of what was most important In my life, and what I was most grateful for, and therefore where my focus had to be. Entrepreneurialship for me was the best of all worlds. While I worked tirelessly and often with long hours, I could adjust those to be there for my daughter, and to take time for experiences for us to share. I could work my schedule around being there for HER, without feeling guilty about not being there for everyone else. I could prioritize my workflow so that when I was focused on work I could be my best, and I learned to shut it down when it was time. It gave me freedom, it gave me peace and it gave me the opportunity to control my own destiny. At least that is how it started. As time went by and I gained more clients, and more employees, and more vendor partnerships, I slowly fell back into old patterns. It happened gradually. I signed up for more boards and booster clubs. I started providing more pro bono services - just because someone would ask. I never said no to anyone or anything, 312

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and as I did… I actually started saying no to myself more and more, letting go of the things I had worked so hard to regain that brought me peace and happiness. But I didn’t realize how far back I had slid until the next big roadblock reared its head. COVID was the great equalizer again in my world. As with many small businesses, COVID hit us hard. Lockdowns, travel restrictions and financial constraints caused us to go from full capacity to less than 20% of our previous years book of business and revenue. At first, I didn’t worry. I had a cushion, and how long could it last - right? Famous last words… COVID forced many of us to reevaluate what is important. What we can live without, what we need to be whole, and what we refuse to tolerate any longer. While much of the “Reset” was a true hardship, there were some parts that I plan to retain as I re-evaluate and shift gears again in my life, realizing I don’t have to be everywhere and say yes to everything was a refreshing reminder. And having time for the simple things, time in nature, time with my daughter just ‘being’ instead of ‘being on the run’. Clear times to work and clear times to rest. And time to pay attention to my body and be my own advocate - in addition to still being an advocate for so many others. So, on our 13th Anniversary, it is with that focus that I am kicking of my new column - WellTrail: A Guide to Living “Whole-istically”. Each issue we will focus on an area of our world where we can refocus energy - proactively- before we are forced to do it with our backs against a wall. We will examine how priorities, and capabilities and goals and restrictions will constantly ebb and flow, sometimes

gradually and almost unnoticeably, and others in such a dramatic fashion that it can knock us off our feet. But if there is one thing I have learned through my journey so far- is that it’s OK to be knocked down. Its ok to take a minute to catch your breath. And each time you do you will rise stronger, more resilient, with a clearer mind and a purer heart and with more belief in yourself than you had the day before. We will learn, we will grow, and we will persevere. And in doing so we will set an example for all those who are witness to our journey, and be better prepared to offer them support as they face the ebbs and flows of their journey as well. As I celebrate WellTrail completing 13 years of service, I look forward to taking the next phase of this journey with you. If you would like to share your stories of personal growth, perseverance, and resilience to be shared on our ‘Guide to Living Whole-istically” page on WellTrail and the WellTrail Facebook page (both coming soon) we will share stories, address questions for our group and continue to learn and grow together. Stories, questions and comments can be sent directly to my email at klapage@welltrail.com Stay true to your journey and stay true to yourself. WellTrail has been a leader in corporate and organizational health and injury management and consulting for 13 years. Specializing in both one on one and customized programming and training options in areas such as nutrition, disease state management, activity and habit cessation, WellTrail has supported 1000s of lives reach their health and well-being goals. Learn more about us at welltrail.com or reach out to us at info@ welltrail.com.

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FOCUS ON GROWTH, BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT BY RUMELLA CAMERON

When starting a business in the very beginning we focus on getting the word out. You would primarily do that by networking with your sphere of influence, networking at events or online, cold calling and cold emails, and building up your presence to gain clients. Most of your business is coming from referrals and word of mouth, maybe you advertised here or there. But to truly focus on business development and taking your business to the next level there are three areas you should focus on, Marketing, Sales, and Customer Service.

Let’s break down each of these to understand how it works. Marketing generates leads, Sales leads to revenue, and Customer Service keeps the revenue coming. There are 7 stages of business growth. They are Startup, Ramp-up, Delegation, Professional, Integration, Strategic and Visionary stages. Each of these stages depends on the number of employees you have. Today I will focus

● Not generating enough consistent, profitable revenue ● Business development capabilities are not scaling with the rest of the business

● Business development efforts (Marketing, Sales, and Customer Service) are fractured. Depending on the area your business is driving by whether it’s Marketing, Sales, or Customer Service all three of these areas are vital to your business growth. 314

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THE NON-NEGOTIABLE RULE How Business Survives - Focus 80% of your resources on selling 2-3 of the highest margin offerings you have. So if you have products or services that are high ticket items, this should be your number one priority. - S e t i n p l a c e a good Customer Service Management (CRM) system. There are tons of CRM systems out there for small businesses. Hubspot is my favorite. We have been using it for the last five years. - Identify brand values that establish the company’s promise to the market.

When your business seems to be stagnant and not growing anymore the problems you face are:

● Unable to bring in new sales representatives successfully

How can your business survive at this stage and what can you do to move business forward? We will begin with The Non-negotiable Rule.

HOW A BUSINESS SCALES on Stage 1, the Start-Up. At this stage, you have less than 10 employees and you seem to be doing very well for yourself but you’re stuck and don’t seem to find a way to move your business forward. It’s important to understand which stage you’re in and have a concept of how your business is driven which will determine the success of your business growth.

- Separate marketing, sales, and customer service into three distinct teams. Build up your teams where their primary focus is one of these three areas. - Use brand values and customer segments to guide business development strategies. - Establish business development structure that generates leads, turns leads into revenue, and keeps revenue coming.

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{ WELL TRAIL } }} {{ SHE SHIFT+CONTROL HUSTLES TALKS “So let’s take a moment and look at how your business is doing right now. How are you going to allocate your business development resources - Marketing, Sales, and Customer Service?”

- Ensure CRM system facilitates business development structures. - Ensure that you have strong managers leading marketing, sales, and customer service and are a part of the management team. - Encourage collaboration between business development functions through a shared process. HOW TO SUSTAIN - Ensure marketing, sales, and customer service win a team with a synergistic strategy for generating revenue. - Use integrated CRM systems for business development. 316

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- Be sure that leadership teams are involved in business development every day to keep the pulse of customer needs and confirm market attractiveness offerings. So let’s take a moment and look at how your business is doing right now. How are you going to allocate your business development resources - Marketing, Sales, and Customer Service? What nonnegotiable business development rules do you need to work on? In business, you must move from being Reactive to Proactive. Here are the key concepts that will help you grow your business and move you into the next stage. Business development is Marketing, Sales, and Customer Service. Business Development helps a Stage 1 to 2 business survive.

If you are interested in learning more about the 7 stages of business growth get in touch with me. Conversance Business Solutions is a full-service administrative support, and consultancy firm, serving businesses from small to mid-size nationwide. Our team specializes in various virtual assistant services and onsite support tailored to meet each of our client’s needs. Whether we work as an extension of your team for one-time projects or long-term engagements, we bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. We hope these tips were helpful. Get in touch with us today at 585-484-0038 or visit us online at www. conversance.biz for your business needs.

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AUGUST 2021 BY ANGELA MCGHEE

ARIES AUGUST 2021 August will be an extremely active month for you. It is time to be your true self and shine those great attributes. Your sex appeal attracts like bees round a honey pot. Someone special might emerge amidst these newcomers by the second part of the month. You will be like the cat thats got the cream. Time to feel all loved up. TAURUS AUGUST 2021 If your feeling down, lonely or sad? Now is the time to take a leap of faith and take that first step snd get out there. Try a new image. Make small changes and start challenging your self again. Try an new image . Enhance what your have , use your artistic talents once again. Take a well earned time out to renew yourself. Your worth it. Party invitations snd celebrations are in the offer . GEMINI AUGUST 2021 You will need extra energy for the coming weeks . It’s like life will be on full throttle . This month you will get the travel, there’s a great desire to go on holidays to explore pastures new in the strangest of places. Anywhere is a change and a rest . Start slowly and work up to the fast pace that is coming. Happy is the Gemini who has variety around them. It keeps that verve alive. Multiple choices to make this month which 318

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will land you in good stead.

back in motion.

CANCER AUGUST 2021 You are over-tired with your workload. Time to have a quiet word with the boss. Take time out from your schedule and treat yourself kind. Children are over demanding making you pressured too. Time to treat and look at them from a different perspective. You will get more harmony and better results with a new outlook. A month to harmonise your home once again.

LIBRA AUGUST 2021 You are feeling more fulfilled and content this month especially with the affairs of the heart.A new era begins for you concerning long term relationships they are about to get deeper. Your looking at new work or maybe just sprucing up your work place. A time to balance those scales and find more harmony around you. Clearing out what no longer serves you is a good idea. Maybe a declutter is in store.

LEO AUGUST 2021 It’s time to really think and plan your projects.You will hold a lot joy and drive from the first day of the month. A lot of your burning optimism will win the day. Good news regarding family is on the horizon. Saying goodbye to certain situations from your past can be a good thing. Moving forward is your focus right now. Keep going.

SCORPIO AUGUST 2021 Don’t loose your cool whilst taking to others Listen and take a deep breathe. More can be achieved this month with your steadfast hard work . You are at a well welcomed turning point with many possibilities on offer August will be the month when doors full of possibilities will open up for you. Be cool, stay collective and watch how you progress forward. You are aligned for great achievements.

VIRGO AUGUST 2021 It’s time to clear the air with misunderstandings and to find out who your friends truly are.You can move forward knowing you have a good circle of people around you. There is success with a work project, time to get the recognition you deserve.Your hard work pays off. Time to analyse your health regime and put your good habits

SAGITTARIUS AUGUST 2021 Your intellect shines. You are bursting with new found energy this month. A period where you are overrun with work meetings. Your social diary is full. You could be making new associates, some of which will have life changing influences.Your close ones could need some extra attentive care.

{ SEEING THE SIGNS}} SHIFT+CONTROL “ Scorpio August 2021- Don’t loose your cool whilst taking to others Listen and take a deep breathe.”

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{ {SEEING THE SIGNS }} SHIFT+CONTROL “Aries August 2021 - August will be an extremely active month for you. It is time to be your true self and shine those great attributes.”

A little one surprises you. Enrol in some relaxation classes -Don’t forget to feed the soul! CAPRICORN AUGUST 2021 You are a bright spark this month, you are full of innovating ideas. Your path will be crossed by someone similar. You may have found someone has the same adventurous attitude to life. Like the goat jumping from field to field and pastures new. A month not to turn down invitations. Dance with life as it could lead you to somewhere unknown where you might be prepared to settle. New study is likely. AQUARIUS AUGUST 2021 You may of f been feeling low of late there are still some new experiences and challenges to face . But stick to a plan to increase youself worth. 320

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You may even want to boost the look of your environment. Blues skies are ahead.Take extra care either your spending , double check on figures. You may have a little money coming your way at the end of the month, something that may have been overlooked. PISCES AUGUST 2021 You have to stop for a moment and stop going with the ebb and glow of the tide. Big decisions have to be made about which way you want to go in life. Follow your natural instinct. Your creativity is essential to work on. Your artistic talents will get noticed by a number of new people. August is set to lay down the foundations for future success and security. Your sensitivity is being noticed by someone who finds it so attractive. New friends on the horizon.

INTERNATIONAL TV PSYCHIC MEDIUM AUTHOR & TEACHER

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