Our February 2025 cover woman, Khadija Yawn was photograph by the amazing Albert Jones Photography in studio. ON OUR COVER TT
Dear Readers,
Welcome to the February 2025 edition of Rochester Woman Online! As we embrace the month of love, empowerment, and fresh beginnings, we are thrilled to bring you yet another issue filled with inspiring stories, exciting new columns, and incredible events that will connect and uplift women throughout our community. This month, we are honored to feature the phenomenal Khadija Yawn as our cover woman. A powerhouse entrepreneur, educator, and advocate, Khadija’s journey is nothing short of inspiring. From overcoming adversity to building a legacy of empowerment for women and young girls, she exemplifies resilience, ambition, and heart. Her story is a testament to the strength and determination that Rochester Woman Online strives to celebrate in every issue. But that’s not all! We are excited to introduce some amazing new columns to our monthly lineup, including Rescue Tales, where we highlight heartwarming pet rescue stories; Drive Smart, offering tips and insights on staying safe and savvy behind the wheel; and Healthy Woman, bringing expert advice on wellness, nutrition, and self-care. These additions reflect our commitment to providing valuable, diverse content that resonates with our readers. This issue is packed with incredible features, including our Influential Woman spotlight on Tysharda Thomas, a true force in her field; She Hustles Talks with Shante Wallace, showcasing her passion for fashion and education; and our Local Business Spotlight on Max Gordon, the visionary owner of The Penthouse, The Hideaway, and Bar Bantam. These stories shine a light on individuals who are making a lasting impact in their industries and communities. And speaking of The Penthouse—mark your calendars! We have some spectacular upcoming events, and we want YOU to be a part of them! Join us for our Corporate Happy Hour & Launch Party on February 20th at The Penthouse Rochester and again on April 10th at the Strathallan Hotel. Plus, don’t miss Sip & Mingle on March 12th at Bar Bantam, where networking meets fun in an intimate, chic setting. These events are the perfect opportunity to connect, collaborate, and celebrate with like-minded professionals and entrepreneurs. Are you interested in featuring your story, brand, or business in Rochester Woman Online, the premier women’s publication in the region? We offer incredible opportunities for advertising and editorial features that will put you in front of thousands of engaged readers. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, an artist, a nonprofit leader, or simply have a story to tell, we want to hear from you!
As always, thank you for your continued support of Rochester Woman Online. We couldn’t do this without our incredible readers, contributors, and advertisers. Here’s to a month of inspiration, connection, and celebrating the unstoppable women of Rochester and beyond!.
Warm regards,
Kelly Breuer Publisher, Rochester Woman Online Magazine
{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }
PUBLISHER
FREELANCE EDITOR
CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN
LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER
PHOTOGRAPHY
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Kelly Breuer
Marisa Zeppieri
Kelly Breuer
Albert Jones
Brandon Vick Christopher Cardwell
Dr Pam Denton
Lisa Wagner
Shaina Zazzaro
Ian Love
Lori Murphy
Nick Mezza
The ACS Team
Joanne Ryan
Veronica Ryan
Chelsea Boe
Clianda Florence
Christine Piacentino
Lori Bruton
Katie Flaherty
Shante Wallace
Robin Dewind
Kaitlyn Vittozzi
Dr. Pam Denton
Dr. Nephetina Serrano
Dr. Kelly Lisciandro
Nancy McQueen Mooney MS Ed. LMHC
Natasha Polito
Ivy Caldwell
Margaret Cain
Sofia Paloma
Lori Murphy
Tysharda Thomas
Trina Lynn Alessi
ADVERTISING SALES
SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT
Kelly Breuer
Network Rochester
Network Rochester
KHADIJA YAWN
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Khadija Yawn: Turning Pain into Passion
As we celebrate Black History Month, Rochester Woman Online is honored to feature an extraordinary woman whose resilience, passion, and dedication have left an indelible mark on the Rochester community. Khadija Yawn is more than just a leader—she is a visionary, a mentor, and a trailblazer who has dedicated her life to uplifting others. From her beginnings in the entertainment industry to founding ROC ROYAL INC. and inspiring countless young people through 585 DREAM, Khadija has turned her personal hardships into a mission to empower and uplift. Her journey is a testament to the power of perseverance, faith, and community.
PHOTOS BY ALBERT JONES
know that I have only come this far with the help of my Lord and Savior.
I have worked with youth my entire life—starting as a teenager with my first job at Chuck E. Cheese—and now as the Founder and Executive Director of ROC ROYAL INC. I am also an entrepreneur, and my many talents allow me to thrive in life. My mission is to make sure that God and my family are proud of me
we were preparing for our end-ofsummer cookout. Our DJ got sick, and I had always loved music, so I volunteered to step in. I plugged my laptop into the speakers and started playing music. Since I’ve always had a humorous personality, it made the experience even more fun.
In this exclusive interview, Khadija shares her story, her inspirations, and the driving force behind her relentless pursuit of change.
Can you start by telling us a little about yourself and your background? My name is Khadija Yawn. I was born and raised in Rochester, NY, to Cheryl Clarke and George Tomlin. I have four siblings. I attended the School of the Arts and Virginia State University. Growing up, I was very active in sports and my church community. I
and that I am making a difference in my community. I have lost some of the closest people to me, including my mother, father, grandmother, and brother. Through all of that, I made the decision to turn my pain into passion.
How did you first get started as a DJ and in the entertainment industry? This is actually a funny story. I was working as the Outreach and Special Events Coordinator at the Community Place of Greater Rochester, and
After the event, a parent approached me and asked if I could DJ their daughter’s party the following week and how much I charged. Not knowing anything about DJing professionally, I confidently said, “Of course!” The rest is history. I reached out to DJ JK, who had always been my go-to DJ, and told him I wanted to learn. He laughed at first, but when I showed up to his studio with all the equipment he recommended, he realized I was serious. After just two lessons, I was ready to go, and soon after, I became one of the most soughtafter DJs for events and weddings.
What inspired you to found ROC Royal Inc., and how did your vision take shape?
ROC ROYAL was born out of tragedy. My brother was murdered in 2010, and at that time, I was devastated and lost. However, I wanted to spread
“Change starts within—within ourselves and within our communities. No one person can do this work alone.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
awareness about the consequences of violence and its impact on the community. I was already deeply involved in entertainment and event hosting, but my mindset shifted to making a real impact.
I organized my first Stop the Violence event at Grand Avenue Park, expecting a modest turnout, but over 500 people showed up. I was blown away by the response and realized how deeply violence affected our community. From that day forward, I vowed to do my part in being a voice for the voiceless.
As someone who has worked in youth development throughout your career, what drives your passion for empowering young people?
Growing up, my mother was a single parent raising five children. I witnessed her struggles and the sacrifices she made to provide for us. She battled illness while working tirelessly to lift us out of poverty and into a better life. Watching her fight through adversity instilled in me a deep sense of responsibility to help others.
I understand that many young people face immense challenges and often feel like they have no one to turn to. Someone took a chance on me when I didn’t always make the right choices, and I am forever grateful for that. Now, I strive to be that person for the next generation.
DREAM and what inspired its creation?
585 DREAM is the name of our afterschool and summer programs. In June 2022, I woke up and decided I wanted to host my own summer camp—despite the fact that summer was just a month away! If you know
I called a friend who provides funding for nonprofits, and they asked how they could help. My business partner and brother, Kory, stepped in as well. That summer, we successfully ran a three-week camp with 50 youth, and today, the program continues to thrive.
What does the acronym D.R.E.A.M. (Dance, Respect, Education, Art, and Music) mean to you personally, and how do you bring these elements to life in the program?
Growing up, I attended the School of the Arts for vocal music, and I was always passionate about the arts, both in school and church. When I developed the name DREAM, I wanted it to inspire young people to dream big. The arts provide a powerful and positive outlet for self-expression, especially in a safe space.
Can you share the story behind 585
Charmaine and Randy Geeter, who owned a church, and they graciously allowed me to host my camp there. Within 14 days, I had designed a flyer, created a registration link, hired three staff members, and registered 50 youth. The only problem? I had no idea how I was going to fund it.
The program initially started as a DJ program for youth, and once I saw their excitement and engagement, I knew it had the potential to grow. I am a dreamer by nature, and whenever I have doubts, I remind myself: “Yes, let’s get it!”
What are some of the most impactful moments or success stories from the 585 DREAM program?
One of the most rewarding moments was mentoring DJ COCO, one of the
“ SOMEONE took a chance on me when I didn’t always make the RIGHT CHOICES, and I am forever grateful for that. Now, I strive to be that person for the NEXT GENERATION.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Change starts within—within ourselves and within our communities. No one person can do this work alone.”
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
most sought-after young DJs today. Her mother and I were friends, so she was always around when I was DJing. She expressed interest in learning, and her passion and dedication were undeniable. Seeing her growth has been incredibly fulfilling and solidified my love for mentoring young people.
What does your motto, ‘We must start WITHIN our communities in order to inspire change,’ mean to you, and how does it guide your work?
Change starts within—within ourselves and within our communities. No one person can do this work alone. It can be exhausting but also rewarding, which is why teamwork and collaboration are so important. We must hold each other accountable, encourage one another, and push our communities forward. I want to show people that they don’t have to stay stuck; they have the power to rise above their circumstances.
What are some of the goals you’ve set for yourself and your organizations, and how have you achieved them?
My main goal is to be light and role model people. I believe God gives us all a work to do and I just want to fulfill my purpose. One of my personal goals was just to grow through adversity and challenges. I may not always make the right decisions, but I promised myself that I would learn from them and come back stronger. I have been able to do just that. For my organization I want to continue to provide impactful programming. Programs that plant the seed for youth and families to be great. Even if I plant the seed and someone else water it, I’m grateful to have an impact. I am working to diversify funding so we
can continue to do the work with do and make more of an impact.
Who has been one of the most significant inspirations in your life, and how has that person influenced your journey?
As mentioned before my mother. Her will to never quit or give up during trials and sickness is what fuels my drive daily. She passed away in 2005 and I vowed to make sure I do everything in my power to make her happy.
Can you share some of the outreach events or programs ROC Royal Inc. has hosted that you’re particularly proud of?
Over the last 11 years we have hosted yearly back 2 school giveaways. In the 11 years we have given away over 20,000 bookbags with supplies to youth to help them prepare for school. We also host an annual toy drive where this past year we gave away 1000 kids’ toys and a car to a family. During the 11-year time span we have given away over 12,000 gifts to young people. Youth enjoyed our Easter Egg event where we dropped over 10,000 eggs filled with candy from a helicopter. When I think of events for youth and families, I dream big, I go above and beyond. My goal is to give the youth an experience they may never receive again.
What lessons have you learned from your work with youth and families that have had the most impact on you?
The biggest lesson I learned was to never give up, and keep striving eventually things will get better. I tell my youth this and I tell myself this daily.
How has launching the after-school
component of 585 DREAM and hosting the first summer camp in 2022 impacted the community?
We are grateful that our afterschool and summer programs have become a household name. We registered 150 youth for summer now with students who are on the waitlist if someone can no longer attend. This speaks to the value of the program and the fact that parents trust us with their children. We provide free or low-cost programs for families that would normally cost a fortune. We provide youth opportunities that they may never get due to family dynamics or financial status.
What role do you believe art, music, and wellness play in shaping successful entrepreneurs and community leaders? Wellness plays the biggest role. My first belief is you must have a spiritual foundation and everything else stems from that. Art, and music are all things that can help with healing and a person becoming whole. The great thing about all of this is while learning or becoming an expert in a skill it can become a great financial resource for you.
What advice would you give to other women who want to make a difference in their communities?
I would tell other women be you, don’t let anyone change you. One thing about me is I’m always ME good, bad or indifferent. I’m often playful, loving and about my business. People see the real you and it makes them want to work with you, it makes them trust you and it makes them believe in you. Find your nitch and do the very best you can to help make a difference.
“There will be some challenges that come but reset and realign. Get out your own way. We often are our biggest hurdles.”
What challenges have you faced in balancing personal, professional, and academic success, and how have you overcome them?
One challenge is finding a balance. When you are a go-getter we often work all day, all night to accomplish our goals. Most recently I got very ill and was sick for 3 months. In and out of the hospital where doctors didn’t know what was going on with me. Through much prayer and doctors, we figured it out and were able to fix the problem. However, this taught me to value life and time. You just don’t get time back. Spend it with family, spend it enjoying this you love to do. Work will always be work and it will always be there, but that loved one may not. I always enjoy learning and growing as well but at the end of the day you have to find that balance and stick to it. If your cup is empty, how do you expect to be able to pour into anyone else cup?
What do you envision for the future of ROC Royal Inc. and 585 DREAM?
I want my own building this is high up
on my priority list. I see us branching off into different cities ad being a model program for inner-city youth to find their voice. I see my staff growing and I see the youth we serve prospering into some amazing people.
What legacy do you hope to leave behind for the youth of Rochester and beyond?
I want to be able for youth to say that trusted me, I want them to say I loved them, and I want them to know I’ll root for them as loud as anyone else in the room. As we grow older I want the youth we help be the voice for the youth that come behind them. I want people to say that Khadija Yawn loved her community, she loved her family and she loved being a vessel for others. As a community ambassador, how do you foster relationships and build trust within the neighborhoods you serve? Relationship building is key. You must model what you say. You must be on the frontline and people have to know your serious about what you do. You must listen and hear the concerns of
people. Lastly and most important you must FOLLOW through what you say your going to do.
What advice would you give to young people in Rochester who are looking to pursue their dreams but may face obstacles?
My advice would be to stay grounded. There will be some challenges that come, but reset and realign. Get out of your own way. We often are our biggest hurdles. Set goals, pray over them and work towards them one by one. Eventually you will see that what you may have though was too big is really in the palm of your hands.
Khadija Yawn’s journey is a powerful reminder that even in the face of loss and adversity, we have the strength to create positive change. Through her work with ROC ROYAL INC. and 585 DREAM, she continues to impact the lives of countless young people, proving that passion, faith, and resilience can truly transform communities.
{ THE INFLUENTIAL WOMAN }
TYSHARDA THOMAS
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Tysharda Thomas: A Legacy of Leadership, Education, and Empowerment
From a young girl growing up in Rochester’s 19th Ward to a trailblazing real estate leader and now a rising force in the financial industry, Tysharda Thomas’s journey is one of resilience, passion, and impact. With a degree in Psychology from Hampton University, she has spent her career mastering the art of understanding people— whether through her 14 years of working with children, mentoring first-time homebuyers, or now guiding clients at ESL Federal Credit Union.
Her deep-rooted commitment to education and community service has been the foundation of her success. Inspired by the teachers who shaped her early years, Tysharda brought that same dedication into every career path she pursued. As a preschool educator and later a real estate instructor, she made it her mission to ensure that her students and clients had the knowledge and confidence to achieve their dreams.
A defining moment in her career came when she and her husband built New 2 U Homes from a mobile office into a thriving, full-service real estate brokerage. Together, they helped hundreds of families, particularly first-generation homebuyers, navigate the complexities of homeownership, breaking barriers in an industry where representation was lacking. Her leadership and perseverance helped New 2 U Homes achieve Platinum
PHOTOS BY ALBERT JONES
status—selling over 100 homes in a single year—not once, but twice.
Now, as she embarks on a new chapter with ESL Federal Credit Union, Tysharda continues her mission of financial empowerment, proving that true success isn’t just about personal achievement but about lifting others along the way. Her story is one of unwavering determination, community impact, and an everevolving pursuit of excellence.
Can you start by telling us about yourself and your journey from studying Psychology to becoming an influential figure in multiple industries?
I was fortunate enough to attend a Historically Black College, Hampton University in Hampton, VA, and study and obtain my degree in Psychology. I’ve always been fascinated with the mind, how it affects the body and also how precious it can be. I’ve had loved ones suffering in close proximity to me, and I myself battle with anxiousness and overthinking. I’m also a Virgo, and we are known to overthink every single detail of a situation at least 3 times; it is also said that our nerves have nerves. These are all things that I have to pray about daily. I’ve even had my own bouts of depression, I’m sure we all have. One of the things that I would tell someone struggling with depression or any other illnesses of the mind would be to KEEP TALKING. I find that the more I talk things out and not keep them bottled inside,
the easier it is for someone close to me to recognize when something is wrong. And, of course, make sure it’s someone you can trust for obvious reasons.
However, as I reflect on my journey— from preschool to high school, and now in the Real Estate industry working with first-time homebuyers and Realtors—I realize that I still draw on my background in Psychology. It helps me assess each situation, recognizing that no two experiences are the same.
What inspired you to dedicate 14 years of your life to working with children, and what were some of the most rewarding moments during that time?
My friend and I love to say this, so I will preface this with...I’m A Brown Girl from the 19th Ward of Rochester. I attended Lincoln Park School #44, and I truly believe that my time there was shaped by two remarkable teachers who not only looked like me but also genuinely cared about me. These educators instilled in me a deep sense of pride, excellence, and leadership—values that have stayed with me throughout my life. They taught me that I could excel in whatever I decided to do, and their guidance has been foundational in every career choice I’ve made. Their influence continues to be a driving force in my success, no matter the path I pursue.
So, thank you to Ms. Kimberly Penns
“When I think back to the effort it took to achieve Platinum status—selling 100 homes in a single real estate year—I’m reminded of how hard we worked.”
(rest in heaven), Ms. Smith, and all the teachers and staff who go the extra mile for our youth. When I later became a preschool teacher and, eventually, an instructor at the Greater Rochester Association of Realtors, I always aspired to be the kind of teacher they were to me—someone who was not only a favorite (laughing) but also someone who could break things down in a way that every type of learner could understand. I hope I’ve succeeded in doing that.
What motivated you to transition from a career in education to the world of real estate?
Well, I always say that I transitioned to real estate from a career in education and program management due to my husband’s influence. He needed someone working side-by-side with him in a field in which he had experienced so much discrimination yet success. We quickly saw the need for First-Generation homebuyers to have someone in their corner and the glaring need for homebuyer education. I decided to obtain my real estate license, and within the first couple of months of obtaining my real estate license, I sold homes to 4 of my co-workers/friends. That euphoric feeling that I felt handing my first homeowner their keys is a feeling that I’ve chased for 16 years and a feeling that has gotten me through some difficult entrepreneurial seasons.
How did you and your husband build New 2 U Homes from a mobile office to a successful full-service real estate brokerage?
New 2 U Homes was a mobile office for about four years. We realized that a central location was needed where clients could come and get personalized service. During this time, we were also approached by a parent liaison from the school where I was working to conduct a homebuyer’s class for her parents, who had expressed interest in owning a home. That was the inception of our First-Time Homebuyer’s Class. In 2012, we opened the current office on State St. in the Heart of the High Falls area. Since then, New 2 U Homes has grown tremendously, specializing in listening to their buyers, providing personalized service, of course, finding the perfect home for them, and negotiating the best deal possible!
What were the biggest challenges you faced in establishing New 2 U Homes, and how did you overcome them?
One of the greatest challenges we faced when starting out was establishing a professional reputation in an industry that preceded us. Many of the obstacles we encountered mirrored those of our clients—particularly the lack of representation. There were few people they knew who had purchased or built homes, developed extensive portfolios, or even looked like them or could relate to their needs in a more transparent and understanding way.
As a Black Real Estate Brokerage, we were fortunate enough to meet Jerome and Gloria Ward, a couple who were original trailblazers in
the industry. They literally passed the torch to us during our Grand Opening in 2012. Through tenacity and a focus on our goals rather than our challenges, we never accepted “no” as an answer—and we made sure our clients didn’t either.
What does it mean to you to be part of the first Black American independently owned real estate brokerage in Rochester to achieve Platinum status?
When I think back to the effort it took to achieve Platinum status— selling 100 homes in a single real estate year—I’m reminded of how hard we worked. Even though the market was different back then, we still had to fight for every client and push through the challenges to reach our goals. Getting 100 people into homes was no small feat. We knew we could do it, and once we did, it felt like, ‘Okay, we actually did it.’ We even went Platinum twice. After that, our focus shifted from how many people we could help to how well we could help them. It became more about quality over quantity.
That shift in focus is what truly made us a household name. It wasn’t just about the numbers—it was about the quality of our agents, how much they genuinely cared for our clients, and how we supported our clients every step of the way, from credit to closing and beyond!
What role does education play in your approach to real estate, particularly for first-time homebuyers?
{ THE INFLUENTIAL WOMAN }
“Essentially, each year, I pray about my word for the year, and in 2024, ABUNDANCE happened to resonate with me.”
As previously stated, we taught our first homebuyer’s class 16 years ago and they are still being held at one of the locations, the 1st Wednesday of each month.
Education is extremely important to me, especially for first-time homebuyers. I started my career as an educator, and in many ways, I still am. I’ve had the opportunity to educate other Realtors as a New York State Certified Real Estate Instructor, and I’ve also had the privilege of guiding first-time homebuyers, many of whom never thought they could achieve the American Dream of homeownership. Education allows me to empower clients by helping them understand the home-buying process, building financial readiness, and feeling confident in making informed decisions. This foundation of knowledge makes the journey from renting to owning possible!
Can you share a memorable story about a client or family that particularly touched you during your real estate career?
Endearingly known as “The Mother of New 2 U Homes”, Ms. Betty Rutledge won our hearts and the hearts of those who witnessed her story and testimony. Armed with only her social security income and dreams of homeownership, Ms. Betty faced countless roadblocks on her journey to homeownership.
However, her immovable faith and trust in New 2 U Homes led to an
eight-year journey that culminated in not just a home purchase, but also over $25,000 in grants towards closing costs, down payment assistance, appliances, and essential repairs. What was so remarkable about her story was her unwillingness to give up. Several programs and lenders told her NO, and each time she would call the office to give an update, she would encourage us to keep doing what we were doing and thank us for all of the clients we had served and in advance for helping her find her home. It doesn’t get any better than that…and yes, everyone cried at her closing.
What was the key to your success in achieving Platinum status, and how did it shape your outlook on leadership?
Achieving Platinum status took focus, drive, and determination, and, yes, an overzealous Virgo keeping track daily, weekly, and monthly as we helped close one buyer at a time, one home at a time, until we reached that 100th deal! At the time, there were only four full-time agents working at New 2 U Homes (myself, my husband, Christopher Thomas (broker), my best friend Christina White, and Cora Murphy). However, our knowledge and fortitude were the equivalence of 10 agents.
What made you decide to pivot from real estate to a new career with ESL Federal Credit Union, and how has that transition been for you?
Essentially, each year, I pray about my word for the year, and in 2024, ABUNDANCE happened to resonate with me. What I realized halfway through the year, around the time this irresistible opportunity came my way, was that abundance isn’t just about money. It became clear that my manifestation of abundance included so much more—an abundance of patience, gratefulness, and favor.
Keeping in mind that I had been an entrepreneur since 2013 and was used to the struggle of the commission life, creating my own schedule and moving at my own pace…I am the opposite of a morning girl, LOL, so it was all an adjustment. However, the reward has been immeasurable, and I’m just getting started!
How does your work with ESL Federal Credit Union differ from your experience in real estate, and what are you passionate about in your current role?
ESL’s Purpose is to help our community thrive and prosper. Caring about People and Integrity are among their Core Values. There was no adjustment needed to do what I’ve been doing during my 16 years of Real Estate from a Salesperson to an Associate Broker. It was an adjustment coming off the front lines to work in a space in which I could affect change on a greater scale.
My team and I are charged with closing the 40-percentage point homeownership gap that exists in
{ THE INFLUENTIAL WOMAN
“However,
as I reflect on my journey—from preschool to high school, and now in the Real Estate industry working with first-time homebuyers and Realtors—I realize that I still draw on my background in Psychology.”
Rochester, NY, and surrounding areas amongst Black and White Families ( 33% of Black Families own homes and 73% of White families own). Due to the historically discriminatory practices put in place many years ago, this gap still exists despite the Fair Housing Act passed in 1968, which was meant to prohibit discrimination in housing, we are still yet far behind.
Looking back on your career transitions, how has each phase of your journey contributed to your personal and professional growth?
Each phase of my journey prepares me for the next. Also, each transition requires discernment or just a pure leap of faith. I am a Powerful Manifester, and when it’s time for me to move to another level or start something new, there is first a nudging and then a plan that drops into my spirit, IF it is for me. It’s not always easy, and THAT IS WHERE THE GROWTH HAPPENS.
What is the best piece of advice you have ever received, and how has it influenced your approach to business and life?
Don’t let them still your brilliance. This was advice that was given to me by a friend and when I first heard it, it took some time for me to process what it truly meant. No matter what position, job, or stage of business you are in, remember that no one is you, and yes that is both your GIFT and your POWER.
You emphasize advocacy for firsttime homebuyers. How can we inspire more people to champion advocacy in their own fields?
I believe advocacy starts with empathy and a genuine desire to make a difference. For me, it was about seeing the need for representation and support in real estate—especially for first-time homebuyers who often feel overwhelmed or left out of the conversation. To inspire others to champion advocacy in their own fields, I’d say it’s important to encourage them to start by listening—to really understand the challenges people are facing. Once you’re connected to their needs, you’ll naturally want to step up and be their advocate. It’s about being passionate, persistent, and willing to go that extra mile, just like those who helped guide me early on in my career. When people feel like they have someone in their corner who truly understands them, that’s when real change happens.
What advice would you give young entrepreneurs looking to take that leap of faith into a new career or business?
START. You will not know what you are capable of until you try. My biggest fear is waking up in the same place that I was a year ago. Consistency is fine, but stagnancy is not.
How do you stay motivated and focused when taking on new challenges in life and work?
It’s really an internal drive but also, I remember and meditate on my favorite scripture when it gets unusually challenging. To whom much is given, much will be required (Luke 12:48). This scripture reminds me that if it were easy everyone would do it and I’m not everyone, I AM Tysharda Johnson-Thomas, the audacious being created to walk in these pumps while making things happen!
What legacy do you hope to leave behind, both in real estate and in your current career?
I aspire to leave behind a legacy of fearless, motivated, and knowledgeable homeowners, contributing to closing the homeownership gap in Rochester and extending that impact to other cities. Most importantly, I want to build and preserve a legacy of generational wealth within my family while inspiring and instilling its importance in other families as well.
“ That EUPHORIC feeling that I felt handing my first homeowner their keys is a FEELING that I’ve chased for 16 years and a feeling that has gotten me through some difficult ENTREPRENEURIAL seasons. ”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES } JENALEE HERB
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Tell us about yourself and your background. What led you to pursue a career in real estate?
I was raised by two entrepreneurs, so the idea of owning my own business was something I always knew I wanted to pursue. Real estate came naturally to me—it’s been part of my life for as long as I can remember. In high school, I worked for my dad at his land surveying company, which specialized in residential real estate. Then, during college at St. John Fisher, I interned at a real estate law firm. After earning my business degree, I joined the firm full-time as a legal assistant. When I became a mother, I realized I needed more flexibility, and I loved the idea of working on my own terms. I decided to get my real estate license in 2008, right when I had my first son—and the rest, as they say, is history!
How long have you been in the real estate industry, and what inspired you to start The Jenalee Herb Team ?
tight-knit group of five women—all moms, all with the same values and goals, and it’s such an empowering experience to work alongside them.
What sets The Jenalee Herb Team apart from other real estate agencies in the Rochester area?
Our team is entirely women, which brings a unique energy to everything we do. We might have different personalities and skill sets, but we share a common goal: to put our
due to time constraints or budget. Studies show that staged homes can sell significantly faster and at a higher price. For example, a $300,000 home could potentially sell for $303,000 to $315,000 simply through the power of staging.
How do you curate and build such a successful and innovative team of specialists?
I’ve been licensed for 16 years, and I’ve been an associate broker for the last five. In the early days of my career, I worked alongside a fantastic mentor, Vickie, on her team. What was supposed to be a temporary arrangement turned into a long-term partnership because I truly loved the dynamic. When she began thinking about retirement, she made me a full partner, and eventually, I took the reins as team leader in 2018. Over time, the team evolved from the Howard and Herb Team to The Jenalee Herb Team in 2020. Now, we’re a
clients’ needs first. We’ve built so many lasting relationships with our clients that we truly consider them friends. In fact, many of our clients invite us to weddings, baby showers, and other special occasions. Our referral and repeat business rate speaks for itself— over 90% of our business comes from clients who return to us time and time again. We’re incredibly proud of that!
Another thing that sets us apart is the staging services we offer. We saw a need in the market for clients who were hesitant to spend on staging
Building a strong team is all about finding the right balance. We use DISC assessments to help ensure personality fit, and we’re always mindful of where our team needs support. Everyone on our team is motivated by a shared commitment to helping our clients above all else, and we prioritize working collaboratively. A successful team isn’t just about individual expertise—it’s about working together to elevate everyone’s strengths and lift each other up.
What role does community engagement play in the work you and your team do?
Community is at the heart of everything we do. From food and coat drives to sponsoring local sports teams and school performances, we’re passionate about giving back. We believe in strengthening the neighborhoods we work in and making them better for everyone. Being involved in the community also helps us stay connected to the people we serve, and it’s a core value that drives our business forward.
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“Our team is entirely women, which brings a unique energy to everything we do.”
How does your team’s combined experience and expertise provide a unique advantage to your clients?
With over 70 years of combined experience, we bring a wealth of knowledge and a team approach to every transaction. We collaborate regularly—at least three times a week—to brainstorm solutions, share insights, and tackle any challenges that arise. Whether it’s a tricky negotiation or a complex home search, our clients benefit from the collective wisdom and support of a team that truly cares about their success.
What do you believe is the most important quality in building lifelong client relationships?
Authenticity is everything. When people know you genuinely care about them, it builds trust and deepens relationships. We always go the extra mile, whether that means offering advice, answering questions, or simply being there to listen. We also host client events like our annual ice cream social and pie party, which give us the chance to reconnect and catch up with our clients. It’s so rewarding to see familiar faces, hear about their new milestones, and welcome new family members—whether it’s a baby, a pet, or just a new chapter in their lives.
How do you keep your clients informed and educated throughout the buying or selling process?
We pride ourselves on clear communication from the moment a client walks through our door. For buyers, we offer a “buyer bootcamp” to walk them through the entire process, from getting pre-approved for a mortgage to receiving the keys to their new home. For
sellers, we provide a comprehensive listing presentation with tailored marketing and pricing strategies. From there, we stay in touch regularly—whether it’s through emails, phone calls, or texts—so that our clients always feel supported and informed.
What are some current market trends in the Greater Rochester area that buyers and sellers should know about?
The biggest trend in Rochester right now is the imbalance between supply and demand. There are more buyers than there are homes for sale, which is great news for sellers, but can be frustrating for buyers. The key to success in today’s market is having access to local, up-todate information and working with an agent who knows the area inside and out. Rochester’s desirability is growing as more people realize the benefits of living here—low risk for natural disasters, four beautiful seasons, and abundant fresh water. We’re seeing more people moving to or back to the area, and it’s exciting to be part of that growth.
How does the current inventory and interest rate environment impact buyers and sellers?
The current real estate market is seeing low inventory, which is driving prices higher. While interest rates have increased, they’re now lower than they were 18 months ago when they spiked quickly. If rates drop even a little, we could see a surge in buyer demand, pushing prices up even further. With so few homes available, sellers are in a strong position, but buyers are feeling the pressure and frustration. For buyers, the key is patience—while still staying proactive and ready to act
when the right opportunity arises!
What advice would you give firsttime homebuyers in today’s real estate market?
Get prepared! Arm yourself with as much information as possible, especially about financing. Secure a strong preapproval or a “clear to close” letter before you even start looking. The market is competitive, so you need to be ready to act quickly and strategically. We’ve created a document for our clients called “Making Your Offer the Best Offer” that outlines various ways to strengthen your offer and stand out from the competition.
Can you share an example of a challenging transaction and how your team worked together to achieve success?
Oh, we’ve seen our fair share of challenges! One of the most memorable was when a major windstorm knocked a tree onto one of our listings the night before a showing. The tree had fallen on the house, and we had to quickly coordinate with the seller (who was out of town), the buyers, and contractors to assess the damage and move forward. It was a tense situation, but we handled it with calm communication, and in the end, both parties were happy and the deal closed. This experience reminded me that real estate agents are not just negotiators—we’re problem solvers, therapists, and sometimes even movers!
What are some of the innovative negotiation and marketing strategies your team uses to help clients achieve their goals?
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“I was raised by two entrepreneurs, so the idea of owning my own business was something I always knew I wanted to pursue.”
We keep things simple but effective: clear communication, good listening, and honesty. We’ve built a strong reputation for being reliable and consistent, which makes negotiations smoother. For marketing, we go all in. We use a variety of strategies to reach the widest audience possible, from online listings to open houses to postcards. The goal is to ensure our clients’ properties get the maximum exposure they deserve.
As an award-winning Associate Real Estate Broker, what do you attribute your success to?
At the heart of our success is our team’s dedication to our clients. We don’t show up thinking about our bottom line—we show up to help our clients achieve their goals. When we focus on their success, our success follows. Their goals are our
goals. That’s the key to everything.
How has the real estate industry changed since you first started, and how have you adapted?
The biggest changes I’ve seen are in technology and marketing strategies. Electronic signatures have made transactions so much easier and faster. And pricing strategies have shifted from just evaluating the value of a property to thinking more about how to market it effectively. We’ve had to adapt quickly, but that’s one of the things I love about real estate—it’s always evolving, and we’re always learning.
What is the most rewarding part of helping clients buy or sell their homes?
Helping clients start a new chapter in their lives is the most rewarding part of this
job. Whether it’s a happy milestone like a growing family or a more challenging transition, we’re honored to be there for our clients. It’s incredibly fulfilling to know that we played a role in helping them find a place to call home.
What are your goals for The Jenalee Herb Team moving forward, and how do you plan to continue growing and evolving?
We’re focused on refining our systems and growing our business by 25% this year. We want to work smarter, not harder, so we’re always improving our processes to deliver better service to our clients. We’re also excited to continue building our reputation through referrals from past and current clients who love what we do.
Can you tell us about the inspiration behind founding North Acre Life Enhancement and your journey into the field of holistic wellness?
I grew up a Seventh-Day Adventist. Adventists strongly focus on health and wellness, so my foundation was formed from this. Through my professional experiences, I began researching connections between addictions and food for my struggle with sugar. I began learning about the connection food has with other mental health issues. I was working as a case manager at a youth group home, and the boys I was responsible for had a serious tobacco use issue. Because of my research, I was able to suggest changing what they were being served for meals.
Of course, I was looked at like I had five heads because it was almost 20 years ago, and brain-gut health was not mainstream yet. Shortly after, this same workspace became highly toxic, and I began having health issues. I was coughing non-stop and having problems swallowing food. I was told I had a serious case of GERD due to stress. I left that employer, and after no success with modern medicine to reduce my GERD, I was slowly developing disordered eating. I would feel like I was choking when I ate solid foods and was living off of anything I could drink. I went to a holistic dietician and began using essential oils, yoga, self-reiki, and apple cider vinegar to heal. At this point in my life, I was questioning if I wanted to return to the mental health field due to my last experience. I was connected to someone from my high school who completed the Institute for Integrative Nutrition program, and the
DIXIE AIKEN
lights clicked. The seed for North Acre Life Enhancement was born. I had found a way to continue to support and help individuals and families with mental and behavioral health needs but do it in a way that aligned with who I was. It took me around 10 years to get to the point where I was able to open North Acre, and it has been an exciting experience since I have.
What makes North Acre Life
Enhancement unique in its emotional and mental wellness approach?
North Acre Life Enhancement is unique in that it is client-driven, and it’s not a one-size-fits-most program. We all have been bombarded by different programs and books that claim if you just follow my steps, you will be successful, only to not have it work. I educate clients on bio-individuality so they can understand why they may not have been successful, it also explains why some things will make them successful.
How do you work with clients to create personalized plans for their wellness journeys?
Clients come in with at least 1 goal they want to achieve. However, through discussion and some assessment tools, the client can communicate other goals or changes they would like to make. I then discuss what are the top 3 in order. Often, these are interconnected. I identify which one could have the biggest impact if addressed first and then come up with smaller action steps that the client feels capable of changing. I also make sure that I get releases to speak to other providers or supports to coordinate care. I want to make sure if a client wants to make dietary changes but is on a medication that could be impacted that, it is discussed with that provider. I also set time frames for reevaluation of the goal. This is important because if something is working, we can move ahead, or if it is not working, make changes.
Can you explain the significance of using “traditional” rather than “alternative” to describe your healing methods?
I prefer using “traditional” over “alternative for a few reasons. First, before modern medicine guidelines and regulations were established at the turn of the 1900s, plants, food, crystals, minerals, energy healing, and meditation were the only medicines used. They were the original medicines. I believe modern medicine has had many successes, and there is a time and place for their use. My second reason is the rise in interest in these traditional healing methods over the past 20 years
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }
“I was connected to someone from my high school who completed the Institute for Integrative Nutrition program, and the lights clicked. The seed for North Acre Life Enhancement was born.”
due to the opioid epidemic and increased misuse of prescription medications. When someone typically hears the term “alternative,” they may have negative connotations about what that is. Is it safe, is it socially acceptable to do, and is there a fear of using something unfamiliar? Using “traditional” can help dispel some of these questions.
What role does integrative medicine play in your approach to mental and emotional health?
I always tell clients that emotions are not bad, it is how we respond to them. Emotions are nothing more than chemical and electrical impulses in our body, so why not use what our body needs.... food, exercise, quiet, sleep, etc., to help it do what it is built to do: heal itself. Integrative medicine is incorporated into the majority of what I do with clients because of this.
What are some of the most common challenges your clients face, and how do you help them overcome these obstacles?
The most common challenges that my clients face include anxiety, low self-esteem, and feelings of overwhelm or stress. Everyone is unique, and the causes of why they are experiencing these feelings are also unique, so that is where I start. I incorporate traditional psychological strategies, such as exploring negative thought patterns and ways to change them. I bring in traditional methods such as Bach Flower Remedy or breathing to manage symptoms as we work together to change these thought patterns. I also believe in challenging clients when the time is right to get out
of their comfort zone while I am able to support them. Whether it is going to a public place or making a phone call to someone, I am there to coach them to use the new skills we have been practicing in the office.
How do you incorporate spirituality, nutrition, and lifestyle changes into your wellness plans?
During the first or second session, I use a tool to help my clients identify their satisfaction in several different areas of their life. This gives both of us a baseline to begin looking at these areas. Sometimes, clients don’t even realize how these areas can be interconnected. I attended Christian Universities for both my Undergraduate and Graduate degrees, but I believe that everyone’s spiritual journey is theirs and not mine to dictate. If someone has a different spiritual belief than I do, I ask for them to educate me on things I don’t understand. This is empowering for them as they get to explore and share what they believe and value. Just like I would for nutrition and lifestyle changes, I coach, guide, educate, and support the client to make changes at their pace. I also support them in being able to identify that something isn’t working and work together to find a solution. With nutrition and lifestyle changes, the big focus is on small steps that can be completed consistently and successfully to build upon. While I may give suggestions, I do so based on what I have learned about and from the client. I do provide a lot of education to clients. For example, if a client is expressing increased stress, I provide education on how food can support them to be able to better deal with stressful events. We
then look at the lifestyle issues that are causing stress or preventing them from eating healthy.
Can you tell us more about your certifications and training in areas such as Reiki, Bach Flower Remedies, and sound therapy?
How do these practices benefit your clients? Besides having a Master’s in Community Counseling, I have completed the following certification programs. Wellness Coaching Certification from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, Kidding Around Yoga training, and sound therapy through Life Changing Energy. The Bach Center in England provides training on all 38 remedies. I have completed the level 2 training and will be working on the practitioner-level training. While Dr. Bach created his remedies to be easily used by an individual, having the additional training allows me to better assist with selecting which of the 38 remedies someone may need, provide education, and provide more cost-effective ways for clients to get a personal blend. I completed Dr. Korn’s program to become a Certified Mental Health Integrative Medical Professional (CMHIMP), which I was very excited about. Clients benefit from using Bach Flowers, Reiki, and sound therapy because these modalities support the body to heal naturally. There is minimal risk of negative interactions with other medicines. With Reiki and sound healing, some precautions need to be taken with anyone who has a pacemaker or other metal implant. There are also low to no side effects when using these methods. Clients’ experiences will vary. One client
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }
“I always tell clients that emotions are not bad, it is how we respond to them.”
may feel extremely relaxed and calm after a Reiki session, whereas someone else may experience tingling sensations. Also, these modalities allow individuals to process emotions locked within their bodies that may be coming out in other ways, such as high blood pressure or anxiety. Clients begin to address the root cause of their symptoms to be able to work towards healing rather than treating the symptoms only.
How has your 20 years of experience in the mental and behavioral health field shaped the way you approach holistic healing?
My experience in the mental/ behavioral health field has shaped my approach to holistic healing through previous clients asking for more natural methods to manage symptoms. When I was doing in-home counseling, many clients complained of not making progress, having medications frequently changed, being on medications that made them feel poorly, and not feeling that anything was helping. Also, with the many substance epidemics that we have faced, clients have concerns with using some medications, whether it is due to their past substance use or knowing someone. My experiences have also made me focus on the client and making sure they feel heard. That was another frequent complaint I would hear from clients that they felt like they were not understood. It has caused me to be an advocate for people who may not know how or what to say to other providers to get the right help.
What are some misconceptions people might have about integrative and traditional healing methods, and how do you address them?
The biggest misconceptions are that it is expensive, requires too much work on the client’s part, and that they do not work. Yes, you can find some expensive holistic treatments to try, to begin, you only need a change in mindset. There is no need to clear out your pantry and fridge or even invest in expensive gym or spa memberships. You simply need to pick one area to change at a time. When people say they don’t believe or have reservations about using a traditional method of healing, I like to explore why and provide education. Just think, we had thousands of years where plant and energy-based healing were the standard,d, and humanity is still here. Many of these plants and even energy-healing have been the base for modern medicines. For example, some plants naturally produce the compounds that Asprin was formed from. I encourage clients to give a traditional method a try, be it 2 or 3 times or for a month. Just like modern medicine, you will not always see instant results. A client needs to be open to trying and allowing the process to take place.
Can you share a success story of a client whose life was transformed through your programs?
One success story was with a middle schooler who was on the Autism Spectrum and also had tourettes. By teaching him mindfulness, the use of essential oils, incorporating
CBT techniques, and educating his family on how to incorporate changes in food, the client had significant changes in behaviors. The client became an advocate for themselves in school and educated their peers on his diagnosis, which increased self-esteem and social skills.
How do you balance the use of traditional mental health practices with integrative wellness techniques?
When I do an intake with a client, I go over what traditional methods I use and gauge their interest level in them. Some people have no interest, and others are very interested. I also want to build rapport with the client first. There has to be a level of trust for either traditional or integrative methods to be successful. I find that there always seems to be a natural flow between the traditional and integrative and I use this to determine when to use certain things. I may also start off right away with integrative methods if they could help success in more traditional methods.
What does receiving the 2024 Best of the Best of Culpeper for Life Coaching mean to you and your practice?
Winning the 2024 Best of the Best of Culpeper brought validation, that I had made the right decision in bringing North Acre to fruition. It also meant that I was doing good in my community.
What advice would you give to someone just beginning their journey into holistic wellness and self-improvement?
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }
“My experience in the mental/ behavioral health field has shaped my approach to holistic healing through previous clients asking for more natural methods to manage symptoms.”
For someone just beginning their holistic wellness journey, ask yourself what is 1 thing today that I can change. It could be simply going to bed at a new time or not buying a soda on the way home. Don’t make multiple or large changes at once. Pick 1 thing that you know you can change with little barriers to success and do it for 2-4 weeks. After that add another change and so on. You will most likely find that you can
make more than one change at a time as you progress because you have had early success that you can build upon.
Looking ahead, what are your goals for North Acre Life Enhancement, and how do you envision its growth impacting more lives?
I have always had my goal for North Acre Life Enhancement to include a wellness retreat center. I want to have
a place where groups and individuals can come for an extended time on their wellness journey.
MAX GORDON
Elevating Rochester’s Hospitality Scene
With over 15 years in the hospitality industry, Max Gordon has built a name for himself by creating welcoming, high-quality dining and event experiences in Rochester. From his early beginnings in fine dining to owning and operating multiple successful ventures, Max’s passion for hospitality shines through in every detail. He has an unwavering commitment to customer service, innovation, and creating memorable experiences. In this exclusive interview, Max shares his journey, insights into his businesses, and what the future holds for him and his team.
Max, can you tell us about your background and how you got started in the hospitality industry?
I have been working in the hospitality industry for over 15 years now. I started at Black and Blue and Max’s Chophouse, where I learned the ins and outs of fine dining, from impeccable service to high-quality cuisine. That experience helped shape my foundation in the industry and gave me the confidence to venture out on my own. After gaining that knowledge, I was fortunate enough to open my first business, Blossom Road Pub, which allowed me to put my own stamp on the local dining scene. Owning a business came with
PHOTOS BY BRANDON VICK
its challenges, but it was an incredible learning experience that paved the way for everything I have done since.
What inspired you to take over Bar Bantam, and how did you envision it standing out in Rochester’s dining scene?
I actually didn’t create Bar Bantam but was lucky enough to take it over from some truly amazing operators. When I stepped in, I saw an opportunity to update the vision and bring something
What changes have you implemented at The Penthouse, and what was your vision behind those updates?
The Penthouse was already a breathtaking event space, but we saw the potential to make it even more special. We wanted to make it a fully customizable venue that could be transformed to fit any event, from elegant weddings to corporate gatherings. By improving the service offerings, refining the aesthetics, and ensuring that each event was a oneof-a-kind experience, we’ve been able to create an atmosphere that is both luxurious and inviting. The view from The Penthouse is unparalleled, and we wanted to make sure the level of service and customization matched that exclusivity.
unique to Rochester’s dining scene. We realized there was a space for a sophisticated yet approachable craft cocktail bar, paired with a tapas-style menu. The goal was to create a vibrant and versatile space where people could enjoy a laidback lunch, a happy hour drink, or a refined evening out with friends. We wanted it to be an all-day eatery that adapted to the different needs of our customers, offering something fresh and exciting at every visit.
Can you describe The Penthouse’s unique offerings and what makes it the go-to event space in Rochester?
The Penthouse is one of only two rooftop venues in Rochester, making it a truly unique setting. There’s no other place in the city where you can get a panoramic view of downtown while enjoying a high-end, fully customized event experience. Whether it’s a wedding, a corporate gala, or a private celebration, we ensure that each event is tailored to our clients’ needs, with top-tier catering, décor, and service. The ability to create bespoke
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“But for me, the key to overcoming those challenges is always remembering why we do this—because we get to be a part of people’s most special moments.”
experiences is what sets The Penthouse apart from traditional event spaces.
How did you come to select Heidi Romeo as the event coordinator for The Penthouse, and what makes her perfect for the role?
Heidi reached out to us after moving back home from Atlanta, and from the moment we spoke, I knew she was the perfect fit. She had experience running a large-scale event space in Atlanta, which gave her incredible insight into managing high-end events. Being from the Rochester area, she also understands the local community and its needs. Heidi has a natural ability to connect with clients, anticipate their needs, and execute events flawlessly. Her expertise has been invaluable in taking The Penthouse to the next level.
Bar Bantam is described as an all-day eatery. What does that mean to you, and how do you ensure it serves a diverse clientele?
Bar Bantam is incredibly unique in that we serve food and drinks all day. During the day, we function as a café, offering fresh, high-quality grab-andgo options for busy professionals and casual diners alike. Then, as evening rolls around, we transition into a cocktail bar with a carefully curated tapas menu. This model allows us to cater to a wide range of customers— morning coffee drinkers, lunch-goers, and those looking for an upscale but comfortable nightlife experience. Our goal is to provide something for everyone, no matter the time of day.
What challenges have you faced
managing both The Penthouse and Bar Bantam, and how have you overcome them?
The hospitality industry is filled with challenges, from staffing shortages to supply chain issues, and even navigating changing customer expectations. But for me, the key to overcoming those challenges is always remembering why we do this—because we get to be a part of people’s most special moments. Whether it’s a couple’s wedding, a milestone birthday, or just a memorable night out, being able to contribute to those experiences makes all the hard work worth it. Staying adaptable, hiring great people, and maintaining a passion for what we do has helped us navigate the inevitable ups and downs of the industry.
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“We’re always looking into new and exciting ventures, but we like to keep those plans close to the chest!”
How do you balance running successful hospitality businesses with being a parent to a young family?
It’s a daily struggle, but also one of the most rewarding aspects of my life. My kids are growing up around the restaurant, and I love that they get to see firsthand what hard work and passion look like. It’s important to me that they understand the value of building something from the ground up. I try to make time for my family whenever possible, and I’m lucky to have an incredible team that helps keep everything running smoothly.
What trends in the hospitality industry excite you most, and how do you incorporate them into your venues?
How do you ensure that both The Penthouse and Bar Bantam maintain consistent quality and service?
It all comes down to accountability and hiring the best people in the industry. I believe in empowering our team members, giving them the tools they need to succeed, and holding everyone to a high standard. Consistency is key in hospitality, and
really keeps people coming back is how they’re treated. We strive to go above and beyond for our guests, ensuring they leave with a memorable experience every time.
What’s next for you and your team? Are there any new projects or expansions on the horizon?
We’re always looking into new and exciting ventures, but we like to keep those plans close to the chest! That being said, we’re committed to continuing to evolve and bring fresh experiences to Rochester’s hospitality scene. Stay tuned!
Right now, one of the most exciting trends is the shift away from cookie-cutter events. People are looking for highly personalized, unique experiences, and that aligns perfectly with what we offer at both The Penthouse and Bar Bantam. Whether it’s a themed wedding, a custom cocktail experience, or an intimate chef’s tasting menu, we love creating one-of-a-kind moments for our guests. The demand for authenticity and innovation keeps us on our toes and allows us to constantly push boundaries.
that means making sure every guest has an amazing experience, whether they’re coming in for a quick lunch at Bar Bantam or celebrating a oncein-a-lifetime event at The Penthouse.
With so many incredible spaces in Rochester, what do you think sets your venues apart from the competition?
Customer service. At the end of the day, the best way to set yourself apart is by making people feel valued and taken care of. A beautiful space and great food are important, but what
“ At the end of the day, the BEST WAY to set yourself apart is by making people feel VALUED and taken care of. A beautiful space and great food are IMPORTANT, but what really keeps people coming back is how they’re TREATED . ”
SOPHIA PALOMA
I’m Sofia Paloma, a proud Latina photographer based in Chicago and the owner of Fotografía by Sofia. I specialize in capturing life’s precious moments in and around the vibrant city of Chicago. Whether it’s family events, business functions, professional headshots, or anything in between, my goal is to preserve memories and tell stories through every frame.
I’m the oldest of three, with two younger brothers, Miguel and Samuel, and a dog named Juno. Growing up, I was always captivated by the old family photos that filled our albums. I’d look at those pictures with wonder—pointing out how this looked like Tía or that resembled a cousin. It was in those moments that I realized how powerful photography can be—not just as art, but as a tool to capture history, memories, and the essence of life in a single frame. It wasn’t until I got to college that I realized just how much photography spoke to me. I decided to take a creative course in photography, and it was there that my love for it really began to grow. But the real turning point came when I was given my first camera on my 18th birthday. It felt like a sign—a calling. From that moment, I knew I had found something that resonated deep within me.
telling stories. Each photo holds a piece of history—where you were, who you were with, and the context of the moment. Photography became a way for me to preserve the essence of time, a way to hold onto fleeting memories that might otherwise fade away.
After that, I started taking photos at family gatherings, hanging out with friends, or just for fun. Along the way, I developed a deep love for capturing nature, architecture, and the diverse neighborhoods and murals of Chicago. What started as a hobby quickly turned
passion. I’m deeply invested in giving back to my community, supporting local non-profits, and using my platform to uplift others.
One of my proudest moments came when my work was featured in Chicago Latina Magazine and displayed on a billboard at the Tinley Park Convention Center. Being published and seeing my photos on the cover of a magazine was a huge honor. It was a moment that reminded me how far I’ve come—not just as a photographer, but as a woman of color carving her path in the creative and business worlds.
into a way of preserving memories and capturing the beauty in the everyday details of life. Every time I look back at those early photos, I’m reminded not just of the people and places, but of the stories they continue to tell.
The Warrior Woman Within Me
One of the most defining projects of my college years was a photo series about the neighborhood where my family grew up in Chicago. This project truly opened my eyes to the power of photography. I realized that it wasn’t just about taking pictures; it was about
Fast forward about seven years, and I officially launched Fotografía by Sofia. Today, my work is focused on businesses, families, and professional headshots for entrepreneurs and creatives. What makes my photography different is that it’s more than just a job to me—it’s my
When I think about the concept of a warrior woman, it’s a word that carries so much strength. It means being someone who has overcome unimaginable challenges and still stands tall. But it also means knowing when and where to seek help, understanding that strength isn’t about doing everything alone. I can say with confidence that I am a warrior woman. My journey to get here wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t until I faced one of the most toxic and abusive relationships of my life that I found my true strength. That relationship was my breaking point—it made me question my worth, my choices, and my future. But it also sparked a transformation. I knew that in order to move forward, I had to rebuild my life completely. I changed everything—who I surrounded myself with, how I took care of my body, and most importantly, I started Fotografía by Sofia. I took that leap, even when I was scared, broke, and unsure of what the future held. I
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“Whether it’s family events, business functions, professional headshots, or anything in between, my goal is to preserve memories and tell stories through every frame.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
leaned on my faith, trusted in God, and took action with the belief that everything I needed would be provided. I just had to work for it, one step at a time.
Looking Ahead: Empowering Others and Giving Back As I look to the future, I’m excited about the opportunities that lie ahead. My goal is to continue growing my business—possibly landing contracts with well-known corporations, but also staying true to my roots in
the community. I’m passionate about helping aspiring photographers and entrepreneurs—especially those who may not have the resources or support to pursue their dreams. I want to show them that their stories matter, and that they, too, can succeed in this industry. More than anything, I hope my journey serves as a reminder to the young kids who feel like they won’t amount to anything—that they can have it all. Your dreams are not limited by where you come from or the obstacles you face.
The road may be tough, but you are tougher. Keep going, keep believing, and keep working. Your story is just beginning.
{ WOMEN WHO INSPIRE } YOU ARE ENOUGH.
AN INTIMATE AFFAIR
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
BY VERONICA RYAN I PHOTOS BY PETER LEVINS
Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because the shortened sentiment, “Happy V-Day,” reminds me of my lifelong nickname, and feels like a personal congratulations. Maybe it’s because my inner child rejoices as the world puts on a parade of pink, peacocking for me in every shade imaginable. Maybe it’s simply because I love beautiful things—I swoon for Tiffany-blue boxes with white satin ribbons and salivate over the initials, “LV.” Maybe it’s because I’m always eager for any excuse to get dressed up…or more like any excuse to buy a new pair of sky high heels, tiny dress, and matching tiny purse!
Believe it or not, though, the heels, dress, and purse—even the Tiffany jewelry and the Louis Vuitton bag— aren’t really the point. I’ve come to realize it’s not them that I adore; it’s the way they make me feel, and the attention they attract. Written into my genetic code, like the curve of my cheekbones, arch of my brows, depth of my eyes, and my beautifully broken brain, is the desire—no, not just the desire—the need for admiration and adoration, the need to be something beautiful others long for. But I realize now that the object of that longing is a fantasy, a vision of flawless, unmarred perfection. I applaud Charles Lewis Tiffany, John B. Young, and Louis Vuitton for their creative vision and business acumen, but even those three exceptional craftsmen could not put me together again. No glittery diamond ring from a little blue box or suitcase
worth a semester at college could ever fill the empty void in my soul. For a long time, it felt like nothing could—not even the admiration and adoration of others. And not even love, at least not love as I misunderstood and misused it.
I took my first dose of love at age sweet 16. One hit, and I was hooked. I used love to heal every wound, fill every emptiness, quiet every doubt. In a healthy relationship love might do all
only vice. Tequila or tobacco, cannabis or crack, speed or smack—no thanks. You could keep your drink, your smoke, and your pills, but if there was love on offer, I couldn’t help myself. I abused love throughout my teens, when I lost myself in it, when it occupied every waking moment and crowded out every thought. I abused love when I let it devour all my time and energy and effort, when I was so busy being in love that I didn’t have to face my own pain or do the work to make myself whole
and well. I abused love when I cared only about being in love, any kind of love, instead of wanting to be a healthy person in a healthy love. I abused love when I didn’t love myself, first, before trying to love someone else. Maybe the essence of the thing, the real abuse, was my taking love from others to make myself feel better, instead of knowing love as something welling up inside, the joy of sharing myself with another. I hit rock bottom gradually, then all in a rush, a gentle downward slide with a sheer cliff at the end. Built on an unhealthy foundation, that first love couldn’t go on. I must have sensed it, because I clung tighter and tighter. The shakier things felt, the harder I held on, as though I were upping the dose to maintain my high. We reached a point of mutual suffocation, but I was the only one content to drown. My crash came when he broke away. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt, a searing mental, physical, and emotional collapse—an overdose. I’m a love addict, and the withdrawal was terrible. Love almost killed me.
Almost, but not quite. I’m sober now and have been for a few years. It took time. Time and work, hard work… painful work. It took support from my community, from family and friends. It took an extraordinary medical team. Thanks to their care, thanks to their love, I did it. I got clean. I don’t treat love like a drug anymore. My rehabilitation program helped me get sober, but it also reprogrammed my brain. It taught me
{ BEAUTIFUL, POWERFUL, DESERVING }
“Now that I’ve fallen for Veronica, now that I am strong in myself, I can love again. For without love, there is no life.”
how to love, and for the first time in my life—at twenty-three years old—I fell in love in a healthy way. It happened in rehab. I met a girl, and I fell in love. I’d actually known her before rehab. We ran in similar circles in high school, but we were never properly introduced. I’d see her strutting down the halls, wearing sky high heels and a tiny dress, with her matching tiny purse. She was also always with some guy, clutching Him even harder than the purse. She always seemed so happy, so flawless and perfect and happy. I hated her. I wanted everything she had, or everything I thought she had. I especially hated the way she held onto that guy like her life depended on it—until I realized that it did, until I realized that she was an addict, too.
I started out hating her, but rehab changed that. We sat next to each other on the first day of group therapy. Not sure who should go first, we both said, “Hi, my name is Veronica, and I am a love addict.” Startled, I looked at her, she looked at me, and I saw that we were one in the same. Then, for the first time in my life, I fell in love with Veronica. I fell for her laugh first, and the rest followed suit in quick succession. I love the curve of her cheekbones, the arch of her brows, and the depth of her eyes. Most of all though, I love her mind, her beautifully broken brain.
So it turns out this girl, this Veronica, was pretty cool, and we started hanging out outside of rehab. We went on walks together and savored the fresh air, hot in summer, crisp in fall, cold in winter, and fragrant in spring. I preferred staying in the shade, but she encouraged me to turn my face to the sun. We went to the gym
together, and when she started pushing too hard, using exercise to punish her body, I’d remind her, “workout because you love your body, not because you hate it.” We even started cooking together. Sheet pan dinners with balsamic and mustard glazed chicken and a rainbow of veggies: broccoli, mushrooms, cherry tomatoes, red onions, and basil. Protein power balls with cashews, dates, and coconut flakes. Mixed berry overnight oats with coconut cream, and collagen powder chia seed pudding. Some days I would hesitate to put food in my mouth, or spit it out, because it was a rest day from the gym. On those days, she reminded me that I deserve food every day, even though I didn’t work out. We went out on dates; we went out to dinner. She always got the rice bowl with sweet potato, sunflower seeds, and crispy tofu. I always got the tuna poke bowl with avocado, sprouts, and sesame. I would order for her, and she would order for me. We just knew each other like that. It became a tradition for us to fight over the bill for a minute. Then she would suggest we split it, and I would nod and smile in agreement.
We both love beautiful things. I let her wear my new dress before I even tried it on. She gave me her favorite pair of heels and taught me how to walk in them. She showed me the ring He gave her, and I held her as she cried. We do face masks—cooling probiotic for me, hot lime jelly for her—and talk about how silly boys are. She paints my nails, and I do her eyeliner. I share my favorite lip gloss with her, English Rose. It looks even better on her than it does on me. She loves to dance, and I love to watch her. I play whatever music makes her move, watching her swish her hips, wave
her arms, and toss her hair to the beat. Watching her feel on her own body. Watching her love on herself. Her eyes are closed, she smiles, she glows, she is radiant. For a moment I’m taken back to the high school hallway where I first saw her, and I start to hate her again. I withdraw, awkward and jealous, but she pulls me in. And before I know it we’re dancing together, spinning around the room in white tanks, pajama shorts, and fuzzy socks. We swish our hips, wave our arms, and toss our hair to the beat. We feel ourselves; we love ourselves.
Most important of all, we journal together—key in our recovery. Some days she’s in a dark place, still thinking about that guy. On those days she doesn’t want to journal or process her emotions, but I bring her notebook (the one with the “Mental Health Matters” sticker), and her favorite pen. I make a funny face, and she laughs—God I love that laugh—and does her journaling. I’m so proud of her. We saved each other, and I love her now. I love Veronica.
To finish where we began, why do I love Valentine’s Day? Maybe it’s simply that Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love. For me, now, it’s much more than romance and roses, jewelry and purses. Valentine’s Day is a celebration of my healthy relationship with love, a celebration of me loving me, which opens the door to me loving another, in a relationship that will be rich and joyful, strong and lasting. You see, unlike alcohol or pills, with love I need not stay sober forever. Now that I’ve fallen for Veronica, now that I am strong in myself, I can love again. For without love, there is no life.
THE LEGACY OF A WOMEN’S DISTINCTION
A Black History Month Tribute to Legacy and Empowerment
As we celebrate Black History Month, I reflect on the countless women, past and present who have shaped not only my journey but the journeys of so many others. This month is an opportunity for us to honor the rich legacy of Black women who, despite adversity, have risen to leadership and change the world. It is also a reminder that we are the continuation of a long line of trailblazers whose footsteps we follow.
As I look back on my own journey, I am reminded of how my story is rooted in resilience, firsts, and a deep sense of purpose. I am the first of my siblings to graduate from college, the first daughter to my parents, and the firstborn granddaughter to my grandparents. These “firsts” were not just milestones in my life, they were the beginning of a legacy I am determined to build for those who come after me.
As an Empowerment Architect, Global Speaker, and the first African American Legacy Queen crowned Woman of Achievement U.S. National Ambassador in 2022, I know firsthand the power of walking in purpose. And it is with this same purpose-driven energy that I encourage every woman, especially Black women, to rise up and walk in your purpose, too.
BY AMBASSADOR DR. NEPHETINA L. SERRANO
Brant, and my Church Mother, Mother Winifred Morris. These two women had an extraordinary impact on my journey. They taught me the value of faith, strength, and service. It’s because of their wisdom and guidance that I stand here today, ready to share the same empowering message with other women.
As I think about the legacies we leave behind, I am reminded of the work I do as the Chief Publisher of Serrano Legacy Publishing. Through this platform, I empower authors to craft their own legacies by sharing their transformative stories with the world. Every story matters, and every woman has the power to make her mark. Whether through entrepreneurship, leadership, or personal development, each of us has the potential to create a legacy that transcends generations.
Walking in Your Purpose
Walking in your purpose is a powerful act of defiance against a world that often underestimates the abilities of women, especially Black women. Our purpose is not only a source of personal fulfillment; it’s a beacon for others to follow. When we stand in our truth and embrace who we are, we create a ripple effect that encourages others to do the same.
As the United Nations Ambassador for Peace and a Relationship Expert, I have dedicated my life to helping women
“ The road may not always be EASY, and the world may not always recognize your GREATNESS , but remember: when you rise, you EMPOWER others to RISE with you. ”
“Walking in your purpose is a powerful act of defiance against a world that often underestimates the abilities of women, especially Black women.”
and families find harmony, peace, and purpose in their relationships. It’s no secret that when women walk in their purpose, everything changes. We influence our homes, our communities, and the world around us. Our work whether in the home, the boardroom, or the community has the power to create lasting, transformative change.
Through Covenant Rescue 911, a nonprofit crisis hotline I co-founded, we provide unwavering support to couples and families during their most challenging moments. This initiative, like many others, is about restoring purpose and hope. I believe that when we heal the relationships around us, we heal entire communities. When women rise to embrace their purpose, they create legacies of love, leadership, and empowerment that will continue to shape the future.
The Importance of Embracing Your Identity
As Black women, our identities are often shaped by the legacy of those who came before us. It is important for us to remember that our purpose is deeply connected to the history and struggles that have made us who we are today. We carry the strength of those who fought for equality, justice, and opportunity. And now, we must continue to rise.
the powerful stories of Black women who have come before me. But I also take pride in the work I am doing today to ensure that future generations of women will have the opportunity to rise up and walk in their purpose with confidence.
those who will follow.
A Call to Action: Rise Up, Embrace Your Purpose
I challenge you, as you read these words, to reflect on your own purpose. What legacy are you building? What difference are you making? Whether you are an entrepreneur, a mother, a student, or a leader, you have the power to rise up and create the future you want to see.
The road may not always be easy, and the world may not always recognize your greatness, but remember: when you rise, you empower others to rise with you. I invite you to stand tall, embrace your purpose, and create the legacy you were always meant to build. Let this month, Black History Month be the spark that ignites the next chapter of your extraordinary journey.
I take great pride in my heritage and in
This Black History Month, I encourage all women especially Black women to rise and walk in your purpose. The world needs your voice, your vision, and your leadership. You are not only continuing a legacy of greatness, but you are also creating a new chapter for
HOW TO DECLUTTER...
ACCORDING TO YOUR HORMONES
How to put down the checklist and tune into your inner ebb and flow.
Just like care tasks around the house change with the season, well, so do we. Rather than prepping for winter once a year though, we get each season every single month in the form of hormonal dips and surges. While the male hormone cycle is just 24 hours, the hormone cycle of a woman is 28 days. Where men wake up every morning with renewed energy and clarity, we get that fresh spirit just once a month. Our 28 day hormone cycle consists of 4 hormonal phases. Separately, it feels like a chaotic roller coaster of different wants and needs every week. But when analyzed as a whole, it’s a slow cycle of paced growth.
Dive into the phases our bodies go through each month.
Every month we cycle through decluttering, planning, dreaming, and doing. The most supportive thing to do is create a home that honors our abilities at each phase of our cycle. Not everyone’s cycle will be exactly the same, but tracking different mood changes can help you figure out what might be happening with your hormones. Most women can relate to the feelings associated with hormonal changes no matter what they might be experiencing.
1. The Big Dipper (Day 1-5): A major dip in all of your hormones has you wanting to tune inward, reflect, and return home to yourself. This is the best time to decide what to declutter
BY CHELSEA THOMAS
each month.
2. Dreamy Optimism (Day 6-14): As your estrogen begins to return, your mood will boost and so will your ideas and creativity. This is the time to create check-lists, sketch home designs, and plan out projects.
3. Energetic Creativity (Day 14): When estrogen and testosterone levels spike you’ll have the optimism and energy to take on anything. This is the best time to shop, journal, and decorate.
4. Focused Productivity (Day 15 - 28): Lowered estrogen helps you bring in wisdom where creative optimism once was. Increased progesterone creates a “nesting” phase that gives you the drive to set strategic plans in motion and finalize existing projects.
In order to handle home care tasks in a way that honors our abilities at each phase of our cycle, the first thing we have to do is listen. Listen to our bodies, listen to our moods, listen to our energy, and pay attention to what excites us or drains us. Once we start to hear ourselves, we uplevel our self care in a radical way.
Tap into the strengths of each hormone phase to maintain a balanced and soulful home.
When you start to feel your energy levels dip, it’s time to start adding things around the house to the donation pile.
Perhaps the biggest change a woman can make is to simply do less when your body calls for it during days 1-5.
The beginning of our cycle is a natural decluttering tool, for everything. You’ll know exactly what you want in your house (or out of it) and you’ll know exactly WHO you want in your life (or out of it). This is why once a month you might feel like running away and hiding even though you love your home and the people in your life. But once a month, the only person that matters to you… is you. By listening to that instead of shutting it out, we are able to make decisions on what truly benefits us and let go of what doesn’t. Taking that time away from your inner circle and tuning into your inner critic, are the moments that give you strength. By spending time alone, you’re able to see what and who you want to exert energy on once that energy returns.
Do you really want to repaint that old coffee table or is it time to give it away? This is your time during the month to decide which things no longer serve you.
Our one shot of energetic clarity throughout the month shouldn’t be taken lightly.
Like magic, when we start to get energy back all of the things that bothered us don’t feel as big. However, we have to trust that version of ourselves and act accordingly. Maybe we want to use our renewed energy to clean out the storage closet, deep clean the house, plan a new project, or have a conversation. If that old dresser bothered you this month during your declutter phase, it will absolutely bother you next month. Use that knowledge to put your energy exactly where you want it.
{ DECORATING FOR YOUR EMOTIONAL HEALTH }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Just like care tasks around the house change with the season, well, so do we.”
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
How your hormones align with specific care tasks.
Our hormone cycle impacts how we show up at home. Running a home is a ton of work, no matter what. Here are the ways your hormones give you a push to handle specific care tasks:
1. Declutter Phase
During the declutter phase, you’ll have a curated eye for what needs to be released. Excess will feel heavy. You will feel the burden of responsibility more so during this time.
2. Planning Phase
This is when your mind will start to wake up and you’ll want to clean, plan, and dream. It’s important to jump on the planning, because when you get an energetic spike with brain fog during the next phase, the plan will be your guide. This is the time to sketch home designs and make shopping lists. You might also feel the urge to clean, organize, and drop that donation pile by the thrift store.
3. Dreaming Phase
toward the future. If you utilized your previous planning phase well, you’ll know exactly what you need to gather to complete your projects. If you’ve used your shopping phase
energy. You know what needs to be done & have the energy to do it. Use this time to power through projects and prepare for the upcoming week when you aren’t as motivated or energetic.
well, you’ll have all the tools to get it done. Make sure to clear space in your house before you shop!
This is the time to shop and gather tools. You don’t have it in you to tie up loose ends, it’s all about looking
4. Doing Phase
This is when you’ll have the most
Create a soulful life that honors your abilities at each phase of your cycle.
If you ever feel like you want to accomplish something but don’t have exactly what you need to get it done, perhaps you are just waiting on you at a different time of the month. If you want to move furniture but are in a physically weaker phase, simply wait until testosterone spikes and you’ll be exactly who you need to knock out that task. If you want to plan a project but feel incapable because you are foggy, wait a bit until that focused clarity strikes. When you tune into you and start to depend on all these different phases, it’s a balm to your nervous system. The habit of nurturing yourself every step of the way is the exact process to curating a home that nurtures you.
THE PASSION & LOVE OF EDUCATORS MATTER { LETS GET L.I.T. }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
BY: CLIANDA FLORENCE & DR. TYANA VALAZQUEZ-SMITH CEO OF SENSATIONAL INCLUSION
The Passion and Love of Educators Matter: Why Love is Essential in Education
In an educational landscape often overshadowed by bureaucracy and standardized assessments, the fundamental elements of passion and love can sometimes seem like relics of a bygone era. Yet, as bell hooks compellingly stated, “Love is an action, never simply a feeling.” This assertion brings to light the critical role that passion and love play in the educational sphere. In this analysis, we explore why these elements are not only relevant but essential for transformative teaching and learning. In order to be a transformative teacher, one must understand the brilliance that lies within every child. Marva Collins reminds us “There is a brilliant child locked inside every student.” When we replace the noise of standardized assessments with the salve of passion and love, the transformative educator will change the trajectory for the struggling student from good to superior.
or good intentions; it encompasses a radical commitment to nurturing the potential of each student. This form of love is an active, sustained practice that involves recognizing students’ individuality, valuing their perspectives, and relentlessly pursuing their academic and personal growth.
When educators embody this passionate commitment, they create learning environments that foster a sense of belonging and significance
Understanding Love as a Pedagogical Imperative
At the core of educational practice should be the unwavering commitment to the well-being and holistic growth of students. Love in this context transcends mere affection
among students. Such environments are crucial because they counteract the alienation and disengagement that can occur in more sterile, impersonal settings. A loving classroom promotes not just academic success but also emotional resilience and social competence.
The
Transformative
Power of Educator Passion and Love
The story of the second-grade teacher who lacked access to culturally relevant materials illustrates a broader systemic issue: a curriculum that does not reflect the diverse identities of its students is an educational system failing in its duty to love. This neglect has profound implications, not just for the disenfranchised students but for the entire educational community. It leads to a devaluation of diverse cultures and histories and denies all students the opportunity to engage with a rich, inclusive spectrum of human experiences.
Educators who navigate these systemic constraints with passion and a loving commitment often go beyond the call of duty to connect with and inspire their students. Their dedication can transform the educational experience, making learning a process of discovery and empowerment rather than mere compliance. These educators understand that to ignite true learning, they must engage students’ hearts and minds—a process deeply rooted in genuine care and connection.
Challenges to Sustaining Love in Education
However, maintaining this loving engagement is not without its challenges. The systemic focus on metrics and outcomes can overshadow the more human aspects of education,
{
{ LETS GET L.I.T. }
“Marva Collins reminds us “There is a brilliant child locked inside every student.””
reducing students to data points and diminishing the role of educators to mere transmitters of predetermined content. This reductionist approach not only undermines the educators’ passion but also stifles their professional autonomy and creativity. It creates an environment ripe for burnout and disillusionment, where the intrinsic rewards of teaching are overshadowed by frustration and futility.
Reclaiming Love in Education: A Path Forward
To reclaim the central role of love and passion in education, we must advocate for a fundamental shift in educational priorities and practices. This shift involves dismantling the bureaucratic and standardized barriers that hinder heartfelt teaching and replacing them with policies that support authentic, responsive educational practices.
prioritize holistic development over narrow metrics. Such changes would not only enhance the educational experience for children but also rekindle the passion and satisfaction that educators derive from their work.
Envisioning an educational system where love is at the forefront involves creating curricula that celebrate diverse identities, fostering policies that empower teachers and respect their professional judgments, and cultivating school cultures that
Conclusion
The passion and love of educators are indispensable because they are the very essence of what it means to teach and learn effectively. These qualities are not optional extras but the
foundation upon which meaningful education is built. As we strive to create a more equitable and effective educational system, let us remember that at the heart of education must always be the love that respects, nurtures, and believes in the infinite potential of every child. By reinstating love and passion as central to our educational endeavors, we affirm that these values do indeed matter, shaping not just individual futures but the collective future of our society.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
THE NEVER ENDING WINTER CAR CARE TIPS
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
As the winter months seem to never end, ensuring that your car is in top condition for the chilly, icy roads is essential. Cold weather can take a toll on your vehicle, but with the right precautions and maintenance, you can prevent breakdowns, ensure safety, and avoid costly repairs. Here are some essential winter car maintenance tips to keep your ride running smoothly.
Check Your Battery
Winter weather can drain a car battery faster than usual. Cold temperatures make it harder for batteries to generate the power necessary to start the engine. Have your battery tested to ensure it’s holding a charge, and if it’s more than three years old, consider replacing it. Also, check the battery terminals for corrosion and clean them if needed. This simple step can save you from being stranded in freezing temperatures.
Inspect Your Tires
Proper tire maintenance is crucial when driving in snow, ice, and slush. Check your tire pressure regularly, as cold weather causes tire pressure to drop. Low tire pressure can reduce traction and lead to unsafe driving conditions. Additionally, inspect the tread depth to make sure your tires have enough grip. If you live in an area with hills or frequent snow drifts, it might be time to switch to winter tires, designed to handle icy roads and provide better traction.
Keep Your Fluids in Check
Cold weather can cause the fluids in your car to thicken, which can affect performance. Ensure that your oil is changed regularly and that you’re
BY IAN LOVE
using the correct type of oil for winter conditions. Top off your antifreeze, windshield washer fluid, and brake fluid as needed. Make sure the windshield washer fluid is rated for low temperatures to prevent it from freezing during use.
Test Your Lights and Wipers
With shorter days and more frequent storms, visibility is often compromised during winter months. Check all of your car’s lights, including headlights, taillights, brake lights, and turn signals.
Ensure they are functioning properly to help you see and be seen on the road. Don’t forget to inspect your windshield wipers and replace them if they’re worn out. Winter wiper blades are a good investment since they are designed to clear away snow and ice more effectively.
Protect Your Undercarriage
Road salt is commonly used during the winter to melt snow and ice, but it can
corrode your car’s undercarriage. After driving in winter conditions, rinse the underside of your car to remove salt buildup. Another great option is having your vehicle undercoated to protect it. This is something we offer here at Bob Johnson Mazda should you be interested. Pay extra attention to areas like the brakes and suspension components to prevent long-term damage.
Replace the Air Filter
An often-overlooked maintenance task, the air filter plays a critical role in your vehicle’s performance, especially in winter. A clogged air filter can reduce engine efficiency, making it harder to start your car in cold weather. Replace it if necessary to keep your engine running smoothly.
Keep an Emergency Kit in Your Car
While not directly related to maintenance, having an emergency kit in your car is a must during winter. Include items like a blanket, extra gloves and socks, a flashlight, jumper cables, non-perishable food, and water. If you get stranded in a snowstorm or experience a breakdown, these supplies can be lifesaving.
Keep the Gas Tank at Least Half-Full
Running low on gas in the winter can cause condensation to form in your fuel tank, which may lead to engine problems or freezing. Aim to keep your tank at least half full, so you’re always prepared for long trips or unexpected detours. Plus, having extra fuel on hand can be a lifesaver in case you get stuck in traffic or snow.
Visit www.bobjohnsonmazda.com
LINDA WILSON
A Passion for Real Estate: An Interview with Linda J. Wilson
For over 30 years, Linda J. Wilson has dedicated her career to helping individuals and families achieve their dreams of homeownership. With a strong background in criminal justice and psychology, Linda has used her unique skill set to navigate the ever-evolving world of real estate. From her early beginnings to becoming a trusted expert in the industry, Linda’s journey is one of resilience, adaptability, and unwavering dedication to her clients. In this interview, she shares her experiences, insights, and advice for both buyers and sellers in today’s competitive market.
Can you share with us your journey into real estate and what inspired you to pursue a career in this field over 30 years ago?
I was working at Dupont making great money when I heard there might be a layoff. I started thinking about what else I could do. One day, while looking at the newspaper, I noticed three ads for real estate careers. I thought, “That’s it—pretty houses and big money.” But boy, was I wrong. My first two years in real estate were nothing like I expected. The homes I worked with were often in rough shape, and selling a $20,000 house didn’t amount to much. To make things more challenging, I had never even attended an open house before getting my real estate license. However, as time passed, I grew to love what I was doing. It became more than just a job—it
was a career. I realized the impact homeownership has on individuals and families. It elevates their lifestyle and provides stability. Homeownership truly is the American Dream.
What aspects of real estate do you find the most rewarding, and why?
The people I work with. Selling them a home and watching it change their lives is incredibly rewarding. Seeing
families grow and thrive in their new homes brings me the greatest joy.
How has your background in criminal justice and psychology influenced the way you approach your work in real estate?
I am much more safety-conscious and aware of my surroundings. My psychology background has helped me become a better listener and observer of body language and tonalities, which is crucial in understanding my clients’ needs and concerns.
What are some of the biggest changes you’ve seen in the real estate industry
since you began your career in 1987? Technology has completely transformed the industry. The internet, smartphones, and now AI are game changers. A good agent must stay informed and up-to-date with these advancements to remain competitive.
What advice would you give to first-time homebuyers who are just starting their journey toward homeownership?
Always pay attention to your credit. Don’t co-sign for anyone, understand your finances, live within your means, and always save for the unexpected.
What challenges do buyers and sellers often face, and how do you guide them through these challenges?
Buyers struggle with saving for a down payment and closing costs, dealing with low inventory, and competing with multiple offers. I stay informed on grant programs, educate them on financial discipline, and encourage saving. Sellers often face quick closings with nowhere to go. I inform them about programs like the buy-before-you-sell option or bridge loans to help them transition smoothly.
How do you use your experience and knowledge to help your clients make informed decisions during the buying or selling process?
With 37 years of experience and leadership roles in various real estate organizations, I stay updated on industry trends. I personally attend every engineer inspection and educate my clients on potential issues, home
{ MAKING MOVES }
“I genuinely love what I do and believe in homeownership. I listen, pay attention, and truly care about my clients.”
maintenance, and market conditions.
What unique qualities or services set you apart from other agents in the Rochester area?
I genuinely love what I do and believe in homeownership. I listen, pay attention, and truly care about my clients. My years of experience have sharpened my negotiation skills, and my connections in the industry allow me to provide top-tier service.
Can you describe a particularly memorable experience or success story from your career in real estate?
One day, while stopped at a red light, I noticed a “For Sale” sign on a building and wrote down the number. It turned out to be a forsale-by-owner who was a retiring investor looking to sell all his rental properties. In December of that year, I listed 20 of his properties, which led to me winning an award for the most home listings in Western NY.
As a long-time resident of Webster, what do you love most about the area, and how does it influence the way you work with clients?
Webster’s slogan is “Where Life is Worth Living.” Growing up in Geneseo, I appreciated the smalltown feel, and Webster provides the same welcoming atmosphere. It’s a safe, friendly place where people know your name, and that sense of community is something I love sharing with my clients.
How do you stay current with market
trends, regulations, and tools to ensure you provide the best service to your clients?
I attend office meetings, seminars, and continuing education courses. I research market trends and stay updated on industry regulations. All agents must complete 22.5 hours of continuing education every two
years, covering essential topics like fair housing and ethical business practices.
What should buyers and sellers look for when choosing a real estate agent, and why is it important to find the right fit?
They should look for someone they feel comfortable with—someone who listens, communicates clearly, and has the necessary experience and connections to guide them through the process with confidence.
How do you approach working with clients in specialized areas, such as condos, townhomes, and new builds?
I ensure due diligence in obtaining necessary regulations, bylaws, and additional fees for condos and townhomes. For new builds, I have taken additional courses and hold certifications such as Residential Certified Construction (RCC) and Certified Residential Specialist (CRS).
What advice would you give someone considering relocating to the Rochester area?
Do your research, plan visits, and connect with an experienced realtor who knows the area well.
Looking ahead, what are your goals for the future of your career in real estate, and how do you hope to continue serving your community?
As a charter member of Empire Realty Group, I have a vested interest in maintaining a strong reputation. My focus is on continuing to learn, growing my business, and serving the public with excellence in listing and selling homes.
{ MAKING MOVES }
“We do dog testing, cat testing, men and kid testing while they are here, she said. This way I know which dog is a good fit for our fosters.”
with a cat in a carrier, and a leashed dog. If that goes well they move on to several other steps in the process. The cat is never at risk for injury.
Iannello also delights in using her own doggie crew to interact with new rescues. She has six dogs of her own, all rescued, and usually has at least one rescue at her home. “I usually take medically fragile dogs home with me,” she said. Her current foster at home is Badger, a one year old chihuahua/ corgi mix with cerebellar ataxia. This neurological issue affects his balance and coordination, according to Iannello. Badger wobbles and sways a bit, but it doesn’t seem to bother him. Iannello says Badger is fitting in great, and making friends with her crew while trying to vie for his own couch time.
Getting fosters can be a challenge for many rescues, but according to Iannello, Facebook has greatly helped, and many of their regular clients are fosters. Social media and word of mouth have been a powerful tool for the rescue to obtain and keep fosters. Training is provided for fosters, as well as training for the dog if needed. As a foster, everything is provided including medical care and food.
Adopting an animal from the rescue involves much more than just filling out an application. The rescue does home visits, vet references and trial periods with the potential adopter and dog. “The trial period is really important whether it’s a few days or weeks,” Iannello said. “We want the
potential adopter to be confident and the dog to be the right fit.”
Partnerships help the rescue too. A few local pet stores help supply food but one of her biggest supporters is Brindle Posse Rescue in Ontario County run by Barb Yahn. “Barb is our main supporter for food, without her we might have many hungry foster dogs” she said. Brindle Posse and the Pet Stops Here support each other any way possible and have a great working relationship.
The Pup Stop doggy daycare clients also donate as well, and during the holiday season, the Pet Stops Here rescue had donation boxes set up throughout the community. Many of their daycare clients also own local businesses and will offer to do fundraisers or adoption events for the rescue.
Without a full time city vet at Rochester Animal Services—which results in a huge backlog of spay and neuter—the Pet Stops Here is overwhelmed by the challenge of medical care. The rescue has to get those vetting services done privately, which is costly. They spend a large chunk of money getting their rescues spayed and neutered along with other medical care not provided by the shelter. “The shortage of a vet at the shelter, and high cost of vet care, has definitely put a strain on our resources,” Iannello said. That is why fundraisers and donations from the community are so crucial to the rescue.
In the beginning of their venture into rescue, both Iannello and Saunders thought Pet Stops Here would be just a “mom and pop” type rescue, maybe take in one or two dogs a year. In 2024 this “mom and pop” rescue adopted out 70 dogs, with 90 percent of the dogs coming from Rochester Animal Services. “This was an all-time high for us and we are hoping to rescue and adopt out more dogs this year” said Iannello.
Saunders is officially retired but still works every Monday at the daycare. She does all the paperwork, including the scheduling of vet appointments and transportation for the foster dogs. Saunders also arranges and puts on all the adoption events for the rescue, a huge undertaking. Pet Stops Here Rescue’s Facebook page is where you can find out about adoption events, fundraisers as well as the pups available for adoption.
When asked what was one of the best things about rescuing a dog, Iannello replied “the best thing about rescuing is watching a dog come out of their shell and learn how to be a dog.”
The resilience of a dog that came from a horrible situation and still is capable of forgiveness and love is a true testimony to the magic of dogs, and so many of these special four-legged friends have this women-owned and operated rescue to thank.
THE PUP STOP & PETS STOP HERE
As I eagerly walked through the door of the Pup Stop, 5412 West Ridge Road, Spencerport, I was happily greeted by Pippi, a recent rescue from Rochester Animal Services on Verona Street, Rochester’s animal shelter. Tail wagging, and ready to give me kisses while on my lap, Pippi—found as a stray after being dumped on the streets of the city,—is a super cute lovebug whose future changed the minute she was rescued. Diane Iannello, owner of the Pup Stop, greeted me too, by having to interrupt the sweet kisses from Pippi.
Iannello, a former volunteer at Rochester Animal Services (RAS), better known as the Verona Street Animal Shelter, began the business and rescue just about nine years ago with her business partner Dawn Saunders, another former RAS volunteer. Their doggy day care and rescue is womenowned and staffed.
Both Iannello and Saunders wanted to start rescuing dogs but knew there wasn’t a lot of money-making going on in the rescue world. So they decided to start with a doggy day care business. Before embarking on the business plan, Iannello volunteered at a few local doggy daycares to make sure it was a good fit. The verdict was a defiant yes. She then quit her corporate job and as she said, “prayed it would be successful.”
BY MARGARET CAIN
care business, the two funded their goal of rescuing animals from the city shelter. The original daycare and rescue was on Trolley Street in Spencerport but needed to move to a larger location on West Ridge Road about five years ago.
On any given day, The Pup Stop has
The Pup Stop also has 15 areas to board dogs overnight. A staff person is there overnight and there are cameras to monitor the pups. Doggy day care is their main business but their goal of rescuing dogs from the city shelter is constantly ongoing. Pet Stops Here is their rescue organization that operates out of The Pup Stop. “We usually have three to four rescue dogs, most are from the Rochester Animal Services, the city animal shelter,” Iannello said. The rescued dogs stay at the facility for at least a week before finding a foster.
With profits from the doggy day
15 to 20 dogs in daycare, and usually more in the summertime. A huge fenced in play yard is a welcoming space for the dogs. When the weather is nicer, The Pup Stop has doggie pools and chairs for their four-legged friends to relax and enjoy the company of other canine friends. Two full-time staff members are always there to keep their eyes and ears on the dogs in the daycare. The Pup Stop also has several wonderful volunteers who come to play with and walk the dogs.
“This building is a real luxury for us to have,” Iannello said. “If we don’t have a foster lined up and it’s an emergency situation, we can bring the dog here.” “We do dog testing, cat testing, men and kid testing while they are here,” she said. “This way I know which dog is a good fit for our fosters.” Iannello said she feels incredibly lucky to rent the property on West Ridge Road and to have such a supportive landlord. The landlord’s wife is also a huge proponent of rescue and actually volunteers her own cat to do cat testing.
“So many people want to know if a dog is cat friendly and it’s difficult to do that at the shelter. We are very lucky we have a supportive landlord that lends us their cat when we need it,” Iannello said. Cat testing begins
with a cat in a carrier, and a leashed dog. If that goes well they move on to several other steps in the process. The cat is never at risk for injury.
Iannello also delights in using her own doggie crew to interact with new rescues. She has six dogs of her own, all rescued, and usually has at least one rescue at her home. “I usually take medically fragile dogs home with me,” she said. Her current foster at home is Badger, a one year old chihuahua/corgi mix with cerebellar ataxia. This neurological issue affects his balance and coordination, according to Iannello. Badger wobbles and sways a bit, but it doesn’t seem to bother him. Iannello says Badger is fitting in great, and making friends with her crew while trying to vie for his own couch time.
{ RESCUE TALES }
{ SHIFT+CONTROL } { QUEEN OF ARTS }
“We do dog testing, cat testing, men and kid testing while they are here, she said. This way I know which dog is a good fit for our fosters.”
including medical care and food.
Adopting an animal from the rescue involves much more than just filling out an application. The rescue does home visits, vet references and trial periods with the potential adopter
is Brindle Posse Rescue in Ontario County run by Barb Yahn. “Barb is our main supporter for food, without her we might have many hungry foster dogs” she said. Brindle Posse and the Pet Stops Here support each other any way possible and have a great working relationship.
Getting fosters can be a challenge for many rescues, but according to Iannello, Facebook has greatly helped, and many of their regular clients are fosters. Social media and word of mouth have been a powerful tool for the rescue to obtain and keep fosters. Training is provided for fosters, as well as training for the dog if needed. As a foster, everything is provided
and dog. “The trial period is really important whether it’s a few days or weeks,” Iannello said. “We want the potential adopter to be confident and the dog to be the right fit.”
Partnerships help the rescue too. A few local pet stores help supply food but one of her biggest supporters
The Pup Stop doggy daycare clients also donate as well, and during the holiday season, the Pet Stops Here rescue had donation boxes set up throughout the community. Many of their daycare clients also own local businesses and will offer to do fundraisers or adoption events for the rescue.
Without a full time city vet at Rochester Animal Services—which results in a huge backlog of spay and neuter—the Pet Stops Here is overwhelmed by the challenge of medical care. The rescue has to get those vetting services done privately, which is costly. They spend a large chunk of money getting their rescues spayed and neutered along with other medical care not provided by the shelter. “The shortage of a vet at the shelter, and high cost of vet care, has definitely put a strain on our resources,” Iannello said. That is why fundraisers and donations from the community are so crucial to the rescue.
“With profits from the doggy day care business, the
two funded their goal of rescuing animals
from the city shelter.”
rescue adopted out 70 dogs, with 90 percent of the dogs coming from Rochester Animal Services. “This was an all-time high for us and we are hoping to rescue and adopt out more dogs this year” said Iannello.
Saunders is officially retired but still
the rescue, a huge undertaking. Pet Stops Here Rescue’s Facebook page is where you can find out about adoption events, fundraisers as well as the pups available for adoption.
When asked what was one of the best things about rescuing a dog, Iannello
replied “the best thing about rescuing is watching a dog come out of their
The resilience of a dog that came from a horrible situation and still is capable of forgiveness and love is a true testimony to the magic of dogs, and so many of these special four-legged friends have this women-owned and operated rescue to thank.
AN INTIMATE AFFAIR
BY JOANNE RYAN
a group.” She steadfastly incorporated this belief into her practice long before the concept of “Family Centered Care” originated in the 1980s. She understood deeply the value of family connection and knew that having family members at the bedside was important to a child’s
Dr. Evans trained at the Royal College of Surgeons of Edinburgh in the early 1950s. She was the only female student in the medical school. She did two years of residency at the Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh where, again, she was the only female in the program. After finishing her degree in 1953, she applied for and received the Fulbright Fellowship at Boston Children’s Hospital. She trained there for two years under Sidney Farber who is known as the father of modern chemotherapy. She went to Johns Hopkins University to finish her
In 1955, upon completion of her medical training in the United States, she returned to England to practice specialty pediatrics, only to quickly learn that this field was strictly for men and not women, so she returned to the United States to pick up her career in pediatric oncology. She worked at Boston Children’s Hospital, and then in 1964, she headed to the University of Chicago hematology and oncology unit. Dr. Evans was recruited by C. Everett Coop, former U.S. Surgeon General and Surgeon Chief at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP), to create a pediatric oncology unit. She spent the rest of her career at CHOP. Throughout her career she took a total care approach towards her patients, meaning that she did not just focus on
her patients’ physical needs, but also their social, emotional, and spiritual needs — including supporting her patients’ families. From 1969 to 1989, she served as chair of the Division of Oncology at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia and in 1972 became an appointed professor of pediatrics at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine.
Evans was known as the “Mother of Neuroblastoma” because of her profound work treating children with that kind of cancer, and after years of treating children with neuroblastoma, she reduced its mortality rate by approximately fifty percent. Currently, the survival rate is above eighty-five percent.
Ronald McDonald House Charities
As CHOP’s pediatric oncology department grew, people came from a wide range of places to be treated there. Dr. Evans, who had witnessed her patients’ family members sleeping in chairs or in their cars in the parking lot, or dispersed into different locations, realized that while her patients received treatment, their families had no place to stay. In the early 1970s, Evans was introduced to Jimmy Murray, owner of the professional football team The Philadelphia Eagles, because the team had raised $100,000 for children with cancer in honor of one of the player’s daughters who had leukemia. Evans accepted the money from Murray, and let him know that she needed $32,000 more to buy a house close to the hospital to lodge the families of the children she treated. Meanwhile, a player for the Eagles had been advertising for McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes, so Murray asked the regional McDonald’s
“Evans was known as the “Mother of Neuroblastoma” because of her profound work treating children with that kind of cancer, and after years of treating children with neuroblastoma, she reduced its mortality rate by approximately fifty percent.”
manager, Ed Rensi, if he would donate the Shamrock Shake money towards a house. Rensi agreed that it would be named the Ronald McDonald House. It started as a place to stay and meet a person’s basic needs; a place to sleep and eat. As the programs have grown, they have adapted Evans’ total care approach and created a place for family-centered care. It’s now considered a home away from home, free of charge. There are now more than 387 houses in 65 countries.
Evans’ personal life was as extraordinary as her professional life. In 2005, she married Dr. Giulio John D’Angio at seven o’clock in the morning, so that they could make it to work 90 minutes later. Both were over 80 years old and had known each other for over 50 years. (They had met in 1953 while working at Boston Children’s Hospital—D’Angio had discovered Evans perched at his desk and going through his mail.)
Drs. John D’Angio and Audrey Evans
Evans died in Philadelphia on 29 September 2022, aged 97, survived by her stepsons Carl and Peter D’Angio. The legacy of her work lives on. Evans was a deeply religious woman: “The pillars of Audrey’s career were faith and science. She believed that God brought her here to care for dying children,” said Julia Fisher Farbman, a filmmaker who wrote the screenplay and produced the upcoming film, Audrey’s Children, about Evans. Because of Evans, and her vision and commitment to her patients and their loved ones, families from all over the world continue to be supported by RMHC through some of their most challenging times. The programs and services offered by each of the chapters across the globe align with the needs of their local pediatric hospitals and the communities where they operate in a true partnership.
OVERCOMING ALPHA FEMALE SYNDROME
BY DR. PAM DENTON
Breaking Free from Stress and Leading Authentically
The Alpha Female persona often becomes a default, a survival strategy in high-pressure environments, because without neurohacking your system and reprogramming your stress response, your nervous system instinctively pushes you into dominance and control just to keep up.
Through our Positive Evolution Cultural Perspectives and deep listening via the ALIGN™ System, we have gathered insights from women over many years of consulting. A common truth has emerged: there is a deep mistrust in leadership, and many women struggle with the outdated belief that to succeed, they must lead like men. This belief, reinforced by traditional leadership structures and ingrained in corporate culture, creates stress, self-doubt, and significant barriers to authentic, highperformance leadership.
As a leader in Neuroenergetic Reprogramming and Cultural Change, I encounter this barrier often. Women come to me feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and trapped by an impossible standard—one that forces them to suppress their natural leadership instincts in order to conform to outdated models of success.
● They can’t keep up.
● They’re not enough.
● They’ll never make it.
● They can’t get what they want.
● They feel like a failure.
Do you feel this? Where are you in the high-tension environment? Do you
truly feel you can lead in a way that aligns with who you are?
These questions matter because leadership stress isn’t just about workload—it’s about the cascading system of beliefs that forms when you feel like you can’t keep up, aren’t enough, or will never make it. This cycle of stress and self-doubt erodes confidence, performance, and well-being.
The reality is, many corporate cultures still operate within a masculine paradigm—one that prioritizes control, dominance, and competition over collaboration, intuition, and flow. But here’s the truth: Authentic leadership has no gender. True leadership isn’t about conforming to outdated models—it’s about stepping into a way of leading that is both powerful and sustainable. The question is: Are you leading from stress or from authenticity?
We have found that men also experience this struggle. Many male leaders naturally gravitate toward a more intuitive, emotionally connected leadership style but feel pressured to conform to rigid, traditional expectations of leadership. While we don’t define leadership strictly in terms of “masculine” or “feminine,” our insights reveal that stress is the biggest barrier—one that holds both men and women back from fully stepping into their authentic leadership power.
The
Hidden Impact of Leadership Stress
When you lead in a way that is inauthentic, your body knows. Your nervous system responds as if you are in danger, shifting into a sympathetic dominant state—commonly known as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
1. Fight: You push harder, become aggressive, and try to control everything. Or you become defensive.
2. Flight: You constantly seek escape— mentally disengaging, avoiding leadership, or considering quitting. You rely on excuses, avoidance, denial and blame because you are overwhelmed.
3. Freeze: You feel stuck, unable to take decisive action, and second-guess yourself.
4. Fawn: You become a pleaser, going along with the dominant leadership model just to survive.
For many women, fawning is the most common response in male-dominated environments. You try to blend in, appease, and “play the game”—but in doing so, you lose your sense of self. This is not a sustainable way to lead. It’s not a way to thrive, innovate, or make the impact you were meant to make. And it’s certainly not a way to feel fulfilled in your career.
The Key to Breaking Free: Regulating the Nervous System
The first step to overcoming Alpha Female Syndrome isn’t pushing harder— it’s releasing the stress barriers that keep you locked in an outdated leadership model.
In our Regulate to Deescalate™ program, we teach that stress has personalities, and these personalities shape the way you lead. The key to breaking the cycle is not just mindset shifts, but nervous system reprogramming.
{ THE VISION }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“True leadership isn’t about keeping up—it’s about tuning in.”
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
How to Reprogram and Lead Authentically
1. Recognize Your Stress Patterns
Ask yourself:
Am I in fight mode—always pushing, always proving?
Am I in flight mode—detaching, avoiding, or considering walking away?
Am I in freeze mode—stuck in indecision or perfectionism?
Am I in fawn mode—pleasing, saying “yes” when I mean “no”?
2. Simply naming your pattern starts to shift it.
3. Activate Your Nervous System’s Reset Mechanism
The body holds the key to leadership transformation. Use breathwork, movement, and somatic exercises to regulate stress and move out of survival mode. Try:
Vagal breathing (slow, deep breaths with long exhales) to shift into parasympathetic calm.
Somatic movement to release tension stored in the body.
Imaginative reprogramming— visualizing a leadership style that feels aligned, powerful, and free.
4. Embrace a New Leadership Paradigm
The most powerful leaders today integrate strength with flow, structure with intuition, action with awareness. This is the future of leadership.
You don’t have to lead with dominance.
You don’t have to conform to old models.
You can lead with clarity, calm, and presence.
5. Practice Authentic Presence
Leadership is not about proving yourself.
It’s about holding space, making conscious decisions, and inspiring movement. When you regulate your nervous system, you become the signal— your energy shifts, and people follow.
The Shift from Stress to Flow
When you remove stress from leadership, something remarkable happens:
● Your energy stabilizes.
● Your decisions become clearer.
● Your teams trust you more.
● You achieve more without burning out. YOU ELEVATE!
True leadership isn’t about keeping up—it’s about tuning in. When you step into your own, authentic leadership flow, you naturally rise, not by force, but by presence.
This is how we break free from Alpha Female Syndrome and step into a new era of leadership—one where stress no longer dictates success, and where leaders thrive by being who they truly are.
Ready to Break Free from Leadership Stress?
Leadership doesn’t have to be a battle against outdated systems and overwhelming pressure. Through our Regulate to Deescalate™ training, we help leaders break free from stress-driven leadership cycles and step into calm, clear, and powerful influence.
Using Cultural Perspectives and AIdriven insights, we bridge the gap between traditional leadership models and the evolving needs of modern organizations. By identifying stress patterns and leadership blind spots, we deliver targeted, high-impact training
that helps leaders regulate their nervous system, deescalate tension, and lead with authenticity.
Are you ready to shift from reactive stress to intentional leadership?
Join us and learn how to unlock the power of regulated, high-performance leadership.
Booka consultation today to start your transformation.
Dr. Pam Denton – Expert Speaker, CEO, and Leadership Innovator Dr. Pam Denton is a visionary leadership expert, keynote speaker, and CEO specializing in the intersection of Human Intelligence (HI) and Artificial Intelligence (AI) for Leadership and Cultural Transformation. As the founder of the Cultural Perspectives™ System, Dr. Denton equips organizations with cutting-edge strategies to bridge leadership gaps, foster collaboration, and drive cultural evolution. Her work integrates Neuroenergetic Reprogramming (NER) to enhance executive presence, optimize team dynamics, and align corporate culture with the future of business innovation. Through her dynamic speaking engagements and transformative leadership programs, Dr. Denton is redefining the way leaders harness HI + AI to build resilient, high-performing organizations.
She Hustles Talks: Shante Wallace - A Visionary in Fashion and Education
In the heart of Rochester, NY, Shante Wallace is making waves as both an educator and entrepreneur. With an innate passion for fashion and a deep commitment to community empowerment, she seamlessly balances her roles as a mentor and a boutique owner. Her journey is one of selfexpression, growth, and an unshakable belief in the power of creativity. In this exclusive interview with She Hustles Talks, Shante shares her inspiring path, the story behind Shop Barbie’s Fashion, and her vision for the future.
From Creativity to Community Impact
Tell us a little about yourself and your background.
My name is Shante Wallace, and I am a mother of five. Born and raised in a very creative family in Rochester, NY, I was surrounded by art and fashion from a young age. My mother had an incredible eye for style, and my father was also deeply fashionable. Growing up in this environment, creativity became second nature to me. I have always been passionate about how people express themselves through fashion and art in unique ways.
How has your journey led you to become an educator for The Community Place of Greater Rochester?
I originally started as an assistant to the education director, Tarlon Gibson. His
approach to education was filled with innovation and creativity, especially in writing grants and developing programs for young people to explore their interests. As he advanced in his role, I grew alongside him, eventually working directly with children. I found that kids are naturally expressive, and their creativity continuously inspires me. Their inquisitive nature aligns with my own passion for paying attention to details, which made this transition into education a perfect fit for me.
The Birth of Shop Barbie’s Fashion
What inspired you to open Shop Barbie’s Fashion, and what does it represent to you?
Opening Shop Barbie’s Fashion was a journey of personal growth. I have always been passionate about fashion and style, and creating this boutique was a natural evolution of that passion. It represents empowerment, self-expression, and confidence—not just for me, but for the women who shop there. I wanted to build a space where women could embrace their individuality and feel beautiful in what they wear.
How do your roles as an educator and entrepreneur complement one another?
These two roles naturally feed into each other. As an educator, I encourage young people to embrace their creativity, and as an entrepreneur, I apply that same mindset to my boutique. Fashion is an extension of self-expression, just like education fosters personal and intellectual growth. Both require
passion, innovation, and a desire to help others realize their potential.
Fashion and Self-Expression
How would you describe your personal style?
I would describe my personal style as freeing, sexy, daring, and sensual. I embrace who I am and feel comfortable expressing myself—whether through bold or subtle choices.
What does fashion mean to you as a form of self-expression?
Fashion is a powerful tool for selfexpression. It allows me to showcase different aspects of my personality, mood, and growth. Through fashion, I communicate who I am without saying a word—it’s a visual representation of my identity at any given moment.
What are some of your favorite fashion must-have pieces as we move into 2025?
For 2025, I’m loving bold statement pieces, full-length jackets, and oversized sunglasses. I also have a growing appreciation for futuristic designs that push the boundaries of traditional fashion.
How do you decide which trends to incorporate into your wardrobe and store?
I always consider what speaks to my personal style and what resonates with my customers. I look for versatility—pieces that can be styled in multiple ways. If a trend excites me, I bring it to my store. It’s about balancing creativity with practicality.
“For Shante, Shop Barbie’s Fashion is more than just a boutique—it’s a space where women can embrace their individuality and feel empowered through style.”
What are your go-to fashion staples that every woman should have in her closet?
Every woman should own fascinator hats, oil tights, nude pumps, lace gloves, and fishnets. These pieces add elegance, versatility, and a touch of boldness to any wardrobe.
The Shop Barbie’s Fashion Experience
What sets Shop Barbie’s Fashion apart from other boutiques?
Our boutique is all about individuality and empowerment. We don’t just sell clothes—we provide a space where women can confidently express themselves through fashion. Every piece is curated with intention to make women feel powerful and comfortable in their own skin.
How do you curate the pieces you sell in your store?
I select pieces that exude energy, quality, and versatility. Each item aligns with my core values of self-expression, confidence, and creativity. My goal is to offer styles that help women feel their best.
What has been the most rewarding part of running your own fashion boutique?
When a customer tells me she feels beautiful, confident, or inspired by something she purchased at
The most rewarding aspect is seeing how my selections empower women.
my boutique, it reminds me why I do this. Being part of someone’s
style journey is incredibly fulfilling. Do you have any exciting new collections or events planned for 2025? Absolutely! I’m working on a new collection that embraces bold colors, textures, and unique silhouettes. I also have exciting events planned that will bring fashion and community together in a fresh, engaging way.
Inspiration and Community
Who or what inspires your creativity and approach to fashion?
I draw inspiration from the women around me—whether they’re walking down the street or stepping into my boutique. I love seeing how people carry themselves and express their culture through fashion. Nature, art, and music also deeply influence my creativity.
How do you use your platform to empower and inspire other women in your community? I use my platform to share stories of confidence, selfexpression, and empowerment. I encourage women to take risks with their style and embrace their uniqueness. I also work with local organizations to support women in need, helping them feel confident and valued.
“Fashion
allows me to showcase different aspects of my personality, mood, and growth,” she shares. “It’s a way to speak without saying a word.”” {
What advice do you have for women looking to find or redefine their personal style? Start by embracing what makes you feel good. Fashion should be a reflection of who you are, so don’t be afraid to experiment. Trust your instincts, avoid being pressured by trends, and focus on what makes you feel confident. Redefining your style is about staying true to yourself while allowing room for growth and change.
Shante Wallace is more than a fashion entrepreneur—she’s a visionary who uses her creative gifts to uplift others. Whether through education or fashion, her mission remains the same: to inspire confidence, creativity, and selfexpression. Shop Barbie’s Fashion is not just a boutique; it’s a movement, and Shante is leading the way with style and purpose.
For those looking to shop Barbie’s Fashion, you can visit her boutique online at barbiesfashiontingz.bigcartel. com or follow her journey on social media for the latest updates and fashion drops. Stay connected and shop at to discover the latest collections that empower and inspire.
With an unwavering commitment to creativity, empowerment, and self-expression, Shante Wallace is not just making a mark in fashion—she’s shaping a movement. Her story is a testament to the power of passion, resilience, and the belief that true style comes from within.
Looking back to when I was a young girl, as far back as I can remember, I never felt like I belonged. I was the third of four children, and at school, I didn’t have many friends. I vividly remember riding my bike around the neighborhood, convinced I was adopted because I felt so different from the rest of my family. At school, during recess, while other kids played games together, I walked around alone and uninvited.
I share this because these experiences shaped what I believed versus what was reality. I was different. It took me nearly 30 years to realize that this difference wasn’t a tragedy or a flaw—it was a gift. I was made to stand out.
Throughout my life, I faced many challenges: substance abuse, eating disorders, self-harm, and alcoholism. All of these were symptoms of the pain and shame I carried. I didn’t know that the traumatic events I witnessed and endured were not something I deserved. I thought they were normal. I lived in survival mode, trying to cope with what I didn’t understand.
This cycle continued until I hit rock bottom at age 29. I found myself in a church basement, admitting defeat. At the time, it felt like the worst day of my life. But it wasn’t. It was the day I was reborn and given a second chance. It marked the beginning of a journey of healing and self-discovery. I began to uncover my truth and rediscover my self-worth.
Thriving didn’t come easily. It took years of failures and learning experiences. But through healing and self-discovery, I
THRIVING
BY LORI MURPHY I PHOTOS BY KEN CLOUGH
found a path forward. Today, I want to share three steps that have helped me thrive in my life:
Step 1: Acknowledge and Accept Your JourneyHealing begins with recognizing your pain, experiences, and setbacks without judgment. Acceptance allows you to process your emotions and lay the foundation for meaningful growth. Every experience, no matter how painful, becomes a stepping stone to discovering your inner strength.
Step 2: Challenge Limiting BeliefsIdentify thoughts and patterns that no longer serve you. Replace them with empowering truths that support your growth. True growth happens when you step outside your comfort zone and embrace new perspectives. When I learned to reframe my self-doubt and embrace my uniqueness, I began to see opportunities instead of obstacles. Each limiting belief I overcame became a building block for my confidence.
Step 3: Prioritize Self-Compassion and ReflectionTreat yourself with kindness as you heal. Give yourself space to reflect. Practices like journaling, meditation, or therapy can help you understand your progress and keep you grounded in your growth. Reflection also allows you to celebrate your wins, no matter how small, and reminds you that progress is a journey, not a destination.
Healing and growth are ongoing processes, but with these steps, you can transform pain into power. My journey through these steps has given me a new purpose: to guide women on their own journeys. As a coach,
I find joy in empowering women to heal, grow, and embrace their truths. Each story I hear reminds me that we all have untapped potential waiting to be unlocked.
For a long time, I believed I was a lost cause. I didn’t know there was power in the pain I had suppressed for so many years. My pain had been the driver of my life, and I was merely the passenger. It wasn’t until I reclaimed the key from pain that I found the power to hear my calling and embrace my mission. Now, I can say with confidence that my pain was the catalyst for my purpose.
If you are reading this, know that you are not alone. You are capable of so much more than you believe. Start with small steps, honor your journey, and trust in the process. Every challenge you face is an opportunity to grow stronger. If I can do it, I know you can, too.
You are meant to thrive. Embrace your journey, and let your light shine bright.
Contact Lori:
Website: www.lorimurphycoaching.com
Email: lmcempowerment@gmail.com
Podcast links:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ SHEThrivesInfluentialWomenPodc Apple ITunes:
Lets be honest for a minute. Life and time feels like it’s slipping by. I remember as a child, the days were sweet while the nights were endless. Now as I am older time is moving along at a rapid pace. We have been trained in society to work, pay our bills, take care of our family, and cater to our kid’s needs. Yet where do our needs fit in to all this? Especially when we are living in an age where two incomes are essential. The cost of living is at the highest it has ever been. Where does that leave single parents? It leaves single parents juggling a full time career along with a side job on top of all the other responsibilities I have mentioned. It has become the norm to neglect ourselves. That little time we might have to focus on our hobbies or even the little things that can brighten our days, seem trivial and almost selfish. Inside a woman’s mind that little time could be spent on our children. This is what I would like to touch base on.
SELF CARE
BY TRINA LYNN ALESSI
very best version of who we are? That little spare time to focus on ourselves should be mandatory. There are three parts that coincide together. The mind, the body, and the soul. The mind-body-soul connection is how your thoughts and feelings affect your physical well being, and how your physical well being impacts your
When we are happy that energy vibrates. Ever notice when you are truly fulfilled within yourself how it illuminates and attracts others? It is the same when you are not happy. That sadness, stress, misery is worn on our faces, captured inside our eyes, held in our movements and posture. Now think of what impression that makes on your kids, family, friends, loved ones. When all is said and done, don’t we want them to remember the
thought process. It is all intricately connected on a deep physiological level.
Our mind is made up of neurons that are connected to different parts of the brain. It is how we perceive and understand information. Where our reasoning in situations takes place. Where our memories are stored. It influences our emotions and unconscious processes. If our mind is feeling overwhelmed it can create
negative thoughts. Those negative thoughts in turn have a significant impact on the human body. It is the very reason why you are feeling tired, exhausted and emotionally depleted. Our bodies are the shells we carry that cover our internal organs. It takes in all of life’s daily stresses. It is our protection barrier. We should treat it more kindly. When our body is nurtured, we are not only taking care of our physical health but we are also taking care of our mental health. When your body feels good, your mind will also feel good. The soul is the very essence of a person’s being. It gives life to the physical form (our bodies). The soul is the base of a person’s feelings, desires, and affections. It is the immaterial part of a being which gives them their identity…it is our true self. When we engage in the things that make us happy we are actually nourishing our souls. This is my most perfect way to explain for it to make sense on how the mind, body and soul are interconnected.
When all three parts are in alignment we find ourselves in a state of inner peace and calmness. Our energy increases, our physical health improves, our sense of clarity and purpose is enhanced. Our outlook on life is more positive. Plain and simple that is when we are balanced. Your feathers won’t be ruffled easily. You won’t find yourself snapping at the
I honestly can’t think of anything better than that. You were planning on taking a bubble bath with a glass
don’t have a break away from the kid? Go buy some paints and a canvas. You can have your very own art
session inside your home with your child. You want to go out but feel guilty? Sometimes we need a night to feel free from our daily duties. If there is a will there is a way. Never
PUMP YOUR HEART! EXPAND YOUR LUNGS!
BY CHRISTINE PIACENTINO I PHOTO BY L SHOT PHOTOGRAPHY
February is National Heart Health Month, focusing on cardiovascular disease and raising awareness for women’s heart health with National Go Red Day, where everyone wears red. These campaigns are vital in ensuring people take care of themselves. However, one of the things I’ve learned in taking care of Jonathan and me while managing his medical needs is that the human body is a marvel of interconnected systems, each vital in maintaining equilibrium for sustaining life. The Heart and Lung systems stand out as epitomes of this interdependence. With deep reflection, I’ve often marveled at the awe-inspiring delicate balance and profound connection between the heart’s rhythmic beats and the lungs’ gentle breaths. Their seamless interaction highlights the sophistication of our biological processes and evokes a sense of wonder and gratitude for the intricacies of life itself.
The heart and lungs perform a lifesaving symphony together, circulating oxygenated blood and expelling carbon dioxide to sustain every cell in our bodies. Like vigilant guardians, the lungs conduct the gas exchange, while the heart, with its steady pulse, ensures that life-sustaining blood reaches every corner of our being. This continuous cycle is a testament to the harmony that breathes life into us.
This relationship becomes even more magical when considering how our bodies respond to physical exertion. As we engage in activities that demand more oxygen, the heart and lungs, ever ready to support our endeavors, increase their output, proving their adaptability and
the power of our body’s innate wisdom. This adaptability is a reassuring reminder of our body’s resilience and its ability to meet the challenges we face.
The interplay between cardiac and pulmonary functions concerns efficient blood flow and gas exchange and how disruptions can ripple through our systems. Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) and heart failure reveal how closely these organs are intertwined. When the lungs struggle to breathe
freely, the heart feels the strain, working tirelessly to compensate for the oxygen deficit. Understanding the cardiac and pulmonary link, which refers to the intricate relationship between the heart and lungs in maintaining overall health, is essential for providing compassionate and effective care.
Specific pulmonary symptoms can indicate underlying cardiac issues, particularly when there is a link between the heart’s ability to pump blood and lung function. Here are some pulmonary symptoms that could signal cardiac problems:
1. Shortness of breath: Difficulty breathing or feeling out of breath during activity or at rest can be a sign of heart failure, especially when it worsens when lying down or waking up at night. (paroxysmal nocturnal dyspnea).
2. Coughing (especially at night): Persistent coughing, particularly when lying down, can be a sign of heart failure, where fluid builds up in the lungs (pulmonary congestion). The cough might be dry or produce frothy, pink-tinged sputum.
3. Wheezing or crackling sounds: These abnormal lung sounds can be heard during a physical exam if fluid has accumulated in the lungs due to heart failure, a condition known as pulmonary edema.
4. Rapid or irregular breathing: Increased breathing rate or irregularity can signal that the heart is struggling to pump blood, causing oxygen levels in the body to drop, which in turn leads to respiratory distress.
5. Chest discomfort or tightness: Heart issues like reduced blood flow to the heart) It manifests as tightness or discomfort in the chest, which might be confused with pulmonary symptoms. This sensation can radiate to the back, arms, or jaw.
6. Fatigue and weakness: While not purely pulmonary, severe fatigue or weakness can also accompany respiratory symptoms in the context of heart failure, where the heart cannot provide enough oxygenated blood to the body.
“February is National Heart Health Month, focusing on cardiovascular disease and raising awareness for women’s heart health with National Go Red Day, where everyone wears red. “
7. Bluish tint to lips or skin: Reduced oxygen levels due to poor heart function can cause cyanosis, where the skin or lips take on a bluish hue, signaling a lack of oxygen in the blood.
If you are experiencing any of the above symptoms, it’s crucial to seek medical advice. Remember, doctors must perform a thoughtful combination of history taking, physical examination, and diagnostic tests such as echocardiography and pulmonary function tests to allow for precise diagnosis and treatment. By taking this step, you are actively participating in your health journey and ensuring the best possible care.
Treatments often embrace both systems.
Pulmonary rehabilitation programs, for instance, not only improve lung function in patients but also enhance cardiovascular fitness, highlighting their interdependence. Similarly, managing heart failure involves optimizing breathing patterns and ensuring adequate lung function. Other examples of holistic care include medications that improve both heart and lung function and lifestyle changes that benefit both systems, such as regular exercise and a balanced diet. The connection between cardiac and pulmonary function is a tribute to the complexity and elegance of the human body. Reflecting on this interplay deepens our appreciation for the delicate balance that sustains life. It also reinforces the importance of a comprehensive approach
to health, empowering us to take charge of our well-being. By exploring and understanding this relationship, we can enhance diagnosis, treatment, and, ultimately, the quality of life for patients experiencing cardiac and pulmonary issues.
Ultimately, the heart and lungs remind us that proper health is harmonious and interdependent and that a holistic perspective is key to advancing medical science and well-being. Their partnership exemplifies the beauty of life’s interconnectedness, inspiring us to nurture and cherish every breath and heartbeat.
HEAL, EMPOWER, RECLAIM
Being a person with a chronic autoimmune disorder and an in-depth past of medical issues, I thought I understood what being very sick felt like. Eventually, after years of being diagnosed, I got used to having “off” days. I was finally at a point in my life where I felt “normal” and was even running in 5k races! It is very rare for people with autoimmune disorders to be able to have the energy or stamina to run in a race. I felt so free and was truly starting to enjoy life. What I didn’t know, there was something way worse than an autoimmune disorder.
My sepsis nightmare began in late November 2022. It started off with my body feeling heavier than normal, seemed to get hot flashes and my sides hurt like crazy. It was hard to walk at times to the point, I would want to sob just breathing. I had experienced COVID a few times by then. So, I tested myself 3 times over a 1 week period. It came back negative. 2 ER visits, urgent care and 2-3 doctor appointments later, they diagnosed me with kidney stones along with female issues where I got sent for consultation. I do indeed have another medical issue happening. But that wasn’t the main culprit back then. One hospital did receive a positive bacteria test result back a couple of days later after I was discharged from the ER.
Unfortunately, I never received a phone call or medication to treat. They had found E. Coli in my urine which equaled a UTI. Now with my past of kidney disease and chronic UTIs, I knew all about UTIs and was on a low dose preventive antibiotic. Oddly, I didn’t have a lot of symptoms, or it was masked by the other pain I was experiencing. December through February, I would experience on and off episodes of severe pain, fevers, vomiting etc. It wasn’t making any sense at all. Medical experts didn’t know what to tell me. During the same timeframe, I was told I had a mass
BY KATIE FLAHERTY
in another area and was going through the biopsy and testing process.
For the next few months, I felt like I was being thrown back and forth between healthy and wanting to die. Finally, the week I was about to turn 40 in February 2023, I stopped functioning. I could no longer move around, constant vomiting, high fever, kept drenching all my clothes, and it felt like each move or conversation took my breath away. I was bedridden for several days. I tested for COVID and flu again, came back negative.
I was convinced I was experiencing the worst flare up ever from my medical condition. I eventually stopped eating and could barely have any movements. My sides felt like someone was crushing them in from either side. I cried on and off for days. One bad thing about having a chronic illness, you get used to being sick. This can be very dangerous for a lot of people, especially if you have a “tough” exterior and tough it out every time. Finally, what did it for me besides the fact I could no longer go to the restroom, eat or move, I tried drinking a sip of water. It immediately came back up. Now I am not referring to regurgitating or throwing it up. It literally felt like someone was there and they simply said no thank you. My body was no longer accepting water at this point.
I could feel my body shutting down that day. Oddly enough, in the last weeks before that, I kept thinking that I felt like I was dying. I even told a doctor and they brushed my words aside. I started panicking at what was happening in that moment. Out of nowhere, I stood up calmly walked around my apartment and gathered belongings for the hospital. I called 911 and asked for an ambulance. Sure enough, on the way to the hospital, I went into septic shock with a heart rate in the 200s, 105 fever and
extremely low blood pressure. The next few days were a blur, and I stayed at the hospital for several days.
At first, I was not responding to treatment. It was frightening being told by medical experts that they didn’t know what else to do and that I wasn’t responding and that I should consider making arrangements. I was terrified and sobbing which wasn’t helping my body stay stable.
Finally infectious disease came to see me. This is when I found out I had E. Coli attacking my body since December or even earlier. He was in shock that I was still alive. He called me a walking miracle. The last few months since being treated has been challenging. I am still experiencing effects from sepsis and have incurred some new health issues. They never told me post sepsis syndrome was a real thing. I move forward each day with patience and grace with my body. It is extremely rate for a person who goes in septic shock to walk out of the hospital.
Even today, I suffer from recurring infections. It is so important that I pay 100% attention to my body. Over the past 2 years, I have dedicated my time and energy to spreading awareness about Sepsis. With me having a 2nd chance at life, it is my mission to help as many people as possible. This week is my two-year sepsis survivor anniversary. It is surreal to say I am now working in a medical practice where my main job is filling the gaps in healthcare to improve patient’s quality of care. In addition, I am on a path to be promoted to Practice Administrator in the fall. You never know what God has in store for you until you come out on the other side. I truly believe God has a plan for all of our pain and suffering we endure throughout our lives.
{ SEASON OF CHANGE }
MISCARRIAGES AND THE MOMENT I KNEW...
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
I Didn’t
Need
A Mini Me.
Let’s Talk About It: Miscarriage, Motherhood, and Choice
I have to be honest—this is a hard article for me to write. Not because the content is difficult for me to discuss, but because I know it might upset you. Maybe you’ll feel relief, realizing you’re not the only one. Maybe you’ll judge me for being selfish. Or perhaps—you’ll relate. I grew up a tomboy—climbing trees, making fires, skinning fish. I never played with dolls. The only time I ever babysat, I accidentally locked the baby in the crib and couldn’t get her out when she started crying. Sorry, Dinah! That moment still haunts me, and, unsurprisingly, I haven’t babysat since (not that anyone has asked me to).
But when I finally found a man who said “I do”, the next step was obvious: have a baby. That’s just what people do, right? You get married, you have kids. It never occurred to me that getting pregnant didn’t always mean bringing home a baby. No one warned me how many women experience miscarriage. A quick Google search shows that anywhere from 10% to over 40% of pregnancies end in loss. I wish I had known. It would have still been painful, but maybe it wouldn’t have been so shocking.
So why don’t we talk about losing babies? Is it because we can’t agree on what a baby is? Because everyone’s journey is different? Because we’re ashamed, as if our bodies failed us? Because it’s awkward? Whatever the reason, it’s time to change that.
BY NATASHA POLITO
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
When Loss Brings Unexpected Relief
I won’t lie—our first miscarriage was heartbreaking. But by the third, I felt something unexpected: relief.
We had taken a year off from trying after our second miscarriage, giving my body time to heal, enjoying our lives as newlyweds. Then it was “go time.” I had a panic attack right after, realizing we’d made a mistake.
A couple of months later, I ended up at the doctor’s office with stomach pain. I didn’t even know I was pregnant. And I certainly didn’t know I was losing our third. When the nurse gave me the news, I laughed. I felt free. She looked at me like I was crazy. But I wasn’t. I was just…done.
And you know what? That was okay. I see it as a blessing. I wasn’t meant to be a mother. And when I had my hysterectomy, I felt nothing but peace. (Also—do you know how many tampons I’ve saved? Over 1,000 and counting!)
Motherhood Isn’t the Only Happy Ending
Now that I’m older, I see how much pressure society puts on women to have children—as if it’s the only way to live a full life. But kids can be a blessing or a source of stress in a marriage. Sometimes they hold people together. Other times, they break them apart.
My husband and I have a fulfilling life without children. And if you’re feeling unsure about having kids, I encourage you to take a step back. Ask yourself: Is this what I truly want? Or is it just what
I think I’m supposed to do? No one should feel pressured into motherhood. I’ll repeat this again, no one should feel pressured into motherhood- not as a joke on their wedding day or even if they’ve been married for a long time.
Let’s Make This Conversation Normal I encourage you to have open conversations with your children about what they truly value in life. Discuss the timelines associated with college, marriage, and having kids. Talk to them about how fragile life can be, and how frequently miscarriages happen.
One of the hardest parts of miscarriage wasn’t the loss itself—it was the awkwardness that followed. The wellmeaning but cringy questions from distant family or Facebook acquaintances: How far along are you? How are the kids? The awkwardness of explaining.
I don’t think hiding pregnancy is the solution. The more we talk about miscarriage, the more we realize just how many of us have been through it. We wouldn’t feel so alone. We wouldn’t feel like our bodies failed us. We wouldn’t feel like we failed at all.
So I urge you: be open.
If you’ve lost a pregnancy, share your experience with people. If you know someone who has, ask them how they’re doing without assuming how they feel. Every journey is different. Some mourn deeply. Some feel relief. Some feel both at the same time.
And all of it is valid.
SKIN & HAIR DURING THE WINTER MONTHS
BY NICK MAZZA
Embrace Winter Glow: The Importance of Hydration and Protective Care for Your Skin and Hair
As the winter chill sets in, many of us find ourselves reaching for cozy sweaters and warming up with hot drinks to battle the dropping temperatures. The winter months can be harsh on our skin and hair, leaving them dry, brittle, and susceptible to damage. Edit your self-care routing to protect your natural glow and support your well-being as a whole until we see the sun again.
Taking care of your skin and hair during the winter is more than just a beauty routine; it’s a way to show yourself some much-needed love, combat the winter blues, and prepare for a glowing spring. Need you be reminded that Valentine’s and Galentine’s Days are just around the corner… there is no better time to think about gifting that same self-care to the special people in your life.
flaky, lackluster hair. It’s essential to give our skin and hair the extra TLC they need during these colder months to keep them healthy, strong and glowing.
Hydrating Your Skin: The Basics
Winter air lacks moisture weakening our skin’s natural barrier. This can lead to dehydration, tightness, redness,
skin—something we can all benefit from as we face the harsh elements of winter.
Moisturize after every shower to help replenish moisture lost during the winter months and provide a protective layer to shield your skin from further dehydration. Applying cream after a warm shower (while your skin is still damp) is an ideal way to lock in moisture.
Hydration is Key in the Winter Months
When we think of hydration, it’s easy to focus on drinking plenty of water, but the winter air often takes a serious toll on our moisture levels, stripping away essential hydration. Dry indoor heating systems, harsh winds, and lower humidity levels can lead to dry, cracked skin and
and even eczema flare-ups. To combat this, it’s crucial to use products that lock in moisture and help replenish your skin’s natural hydration levels.
The A+C Signature Skin Healing Cream is designed for both your face and body, this nourishing cream helps repair and protect the skin from environmental stressors, keeping it soft, smooth, and supple. It’s packed with ingredients that not only moisturize but also soothe and heal dry, irritated
Hydrating Your Hair Starts with Your Scalp
Just as your skin can become dry in the winter, your hair and scalp can also suffer from the dry air. Cold air, combined with indoor heating, can cause your hair to become dry, brittle, and prone to split ends. Moisturize your scalp to maintain a healthy environment for hair growth.
The A+C Signature Healthy Scalp Serum is a game-changer for nourishing your scalp and promoting healthy hair growth. This lightweight serum is designed to provide deep hydration to the scalp. Massage the oils into your scalp 15 minutes before your shower will boost circulation to encourage stronger, thicker hair. By incorporating this serum into your winter hair care routine, you’ll not only hydrate your scalp but also help your hair stay lush and vibrant through the cold months.
Protective Care for Skin and Hair
{ A+C BEAUTY INSIDER }
“Taking care of your skin and hair during the winter is more than just a beauty routine; it’s a way to show yourself some much-needed love, combat the winter blues, and prepare for a glowing spring.”
In addition to proper hydration, protection is key when it comes to keeping your skin and hair healthy during the winter months. As much as we love the winter season, the combination of cold winds and the dry indoor environment can leave us vulnerable to dryness and damage. Don’t forget about your lips, hands, and feet, as these areas are often the first to show signs of dehydration and cracking. Using a hydrating lip balm, hand cream, and foot balm will ensure you’re giving your skin the full spectrum of protection.
For your hair, it’s all about the right nourishment. Avoid overwashing, as frequent washing strips hair of its natural oils. Instead, focus on deep conditioning treatments and tying longhair during sleep. Help protect the moisture in your scalp to create an environment where your hair can thrive even during the Rochester winters.
Self-Care as a Shield Against the Winter Blues
to nourish your body, skin, and hair can not only bring about a physical glow but also uplift your mood. And with Valentine’s and Galentine’s Day approaching, it’s the perfect time to indulge in this practice—not just for yourself but for those you care about. Show yourself or a loved one some love by gifting them a spa-worthy
your skin and hair, but with the right care, it doesn’t have to be. By focusing on hydration, protection, and overall self-care, you can enjoy glowing skin, healthy hair, and a renewed sense of well-being throughout the colder months. Pamper yourself and those you care about—your mind and body will thank you for it.
It’s no secret that many Rochestarians suffer from some scale of seasonal depression. Taking time for selfcare can help combat these feelings, boosting our mental well-being and improving our overall outlook.
Treating yourself to a little winter self-care routine can be incredibly rejuvenating. The act of slowing down
self-care experience!
What better way to celebrate the season of love than by giving the gift of self-care? Skincare and haircare products that focus on hydration and protection make thoughtful, meaningful gifts for the month of February.
Winter might be a tough season for
About Ape + Canary Spa + Salon
At Ape + Canary Spa + Salon, we’re dedicated to helping you look and feel your best always.. Our signature products, like the A+C Signature Skin Healing Cream and A+C Signature Healthy Scalp Serum, are crafted with high-quality ingredients to nourish, hydrate, and protect and produced in small batches to maintain consistency. Whether you’re seeking relaxation or looking to enhance your natural beauty, our spa and salon services are here to help you glow from the inside out.
{ FEEDING YOUR SOUL }
CRAVING RELIEF.
Do you have those days where you can’t even put your finger on why you’re anxious. You just are. Moreover, you probably have been your whole life. Your wiring/ DNA, the thoughts you think, your environment, food you eat, and how much you’re on your phone all can contribute to how anxious you are. Or perhaps it’s a situational anxiety, but it’s strongly uncomfortable. Panic attacks may occur. You crave relief.
I started my career as a School Counselor and could feel how much anxiety is swirling around school. Eventually I started my own practice and realized how anxiety is everywhere. I began to look for ways to relieve anxiety without recommending medicine (although sometimes it’s necessary). I stumbled upon Tapping looking for ways to ease student anxiety. I immediately sat up a little straighter . Your higher self recognizes truth for you and what is a good fit.
The very next day I saw an advertisement for an EFT(Emotion Freedom Technique) Tapping training that Spring and locally too. Thrilled, I signed up and have never looked back. Manifesting in all its glory for me. Tapping has helped me and it can help you too.
Here’s some background. EFT Tapping was created by Gary Craig in the 1990s. It is similar to acupuncture and utilizes the channels in the body where your energy flows. A psychological acupuncture. There are meridians on the body you tap on to restore balance to energy flow . Sound hard? It’s not.
So how do you do this?
First: you identify your issue and choose the predominant emotion. In this case, I’m picking anxiety. It can also be helpful dealing with physical pain. It is not a
BY NANCY MCQUEEN MOONEY, MS ED. LMHC
treatment or cure-check with your doctor.
Next: you pick the level of intensity you feel . One is low but ten is high and most difficult. You’ll need to monitor your progress. Also where do you feel the anxiety in your body? It can be anywhere and more than one place. Mine is often in the stomach or throat. The goal is to drop down the feeling.
Now: you start tapping on the side of your hand and always start with “Even though”. Even though I’m feeling (very anxious), and I feel it in (my stomach? my throat? where?)….I completely accept myself .
THIS IS ABOUT YOU-how you feel . Do this “even though “ phrase 3x.
Then:
You tap on each meridian with a simple phrase such as “ I’m feeling so much anxiety.”
The meridian’s I tap on are:
Side of the hand
Top of the head
Between the eyebrows
Sides of eyes
Below the eyes
Under the nose
Under the chin
Below the collar bone
Under the arm near bra line
Tapping sends soothing signals to the brain to reduce cortisol. As you tap and acknowledge, it feelings good. It feels right.
After tapping thru the meridians , you put your hands into your lap, draw a deep breath through nose and out your mouth and ask yourself
“What is the intensity now? Is it still too high or did it drop down”? Also “Where am I feeling it now”?
I truly believe your body will be so pleased you are acknowledging your concern or issue. You’re being open and honest with yourself. As you continue to tap, your wording can change to more positivity. “Even though I’m still anxious, and I feel it in my stomach, I’m feeling less anxious and more relaxed”.
Plan on tapping until you drop your number down to a zero, one or two. Practice. It can take awhile to get comfortable .
Imagine tapping in a classroom at the start of the day, helping students lower anxiety. Imagine starting every morning tapping down what you do not need.
In my practice I tap with children , young adults and adults , acknowledging issues and helping them tap unwanted feelings like anxiety or sadness down. Teaching to tap at night to fall asleep or tap in the middle of night to relax and go back into a slumber.
Give tapping a try. You can substantially reduce cortisol and promote relaxation and calm. You might be a few taps away from a life where you control the feelingnot the other way around. The mind is very powerful .
Yes, this is feeding your soul and an amazing way to help you.
Times feel so incredibly dark right now. It is as if there is a weight that we are carrying around on our hearts that doesn’t want to be lifted. Breathing, thinking, moving normally throughout your day may feel overwhelming currently and rightfully so. The powers that be are working to confuse you and throw you off center. We cannot allow this for our own sanity or as we help one another move forward in a more loving and kind way. Your first line of defense? Next right actions that create loving spaces for your heart and for the world. This begins with your gifts being utilized each day.
I have been fortunate to have the job of being an artist. I didn’t choose it to become rich, famous or deemed successful by the outside world. It chose me. I ignored its calls for decades and became sadder and more lost. It wasn’t until my husband really pushed me to use my gifts several years ago that I was set free. We each have that calling. One for a greater good that is intrinsically part of our DNA. It is as essential as our breath. When we shove it down, ignore it or play it off, we deprive our own selves of light and joy. Creating is your contribution to the starlight that in the darkest of times. It is what will carry us through these times and end the fearmongering we do not have to subscribe to; nor should you.
I’ve talk about this countless times in my prior articles, so I apologize
if I sound redundant, but it bears restating. I truly believe that it is a call that needs loud, urgent repeating. As Michelle Obama reminds us, it is time to “do something!” She asks that we never go small or “indulge our anxieties” or “wring our hands.” There is no time left for that anymore. You are being called to shine your light into the darkest of places. You can no longer allow the darkness and doubt to take hold. This is what is being urgently asked of us. We must heed the call to come out into our full being and express our inner truths without shame or worry about being judged. We can’t afford to do that any longer. The world has long awaited the expression of your gifts and has been patiently waiting for you to show up for yourself and others.
Zooming into the things that feed our soul and give us the gift of grace and gratitude is a beautiful place to begin. Think of that which gives your soul life and puts a smile on your face. Your body and mind let you immediately know when you’ve hit on what it is that drives your desire to be your highest self. Thinking about those I love, teaching my wonderful students or the act of creating a meaningful piece of art push me gently forward to continue the work. What drives your heart forward and makes you wish for more of that feeling of contentment and the joy it brings to those around you? That is where you can begin.
Take out a piece of blank paper and, in the center, write down a creative
action that has brought you happiness and helped you momentarily get out of your head. Now begin to treat that creative expression as the center of your innovative universe; that is your sun. Building off that source of energy, write down the satellites that represent the emotions and/or new ideas this first step (your sun), gives rise to. Those are your stars that attract other wayward yet, seeking stars into your orbit. You become a beacon for those who are stuck in fear or are just beginning their journey. You are the impetus for their renewed sense of purpose and drive. No one can take that away from you or them.
Self-expression is our most powerful gift that is permanently woven into our very essence. No oppressor, bully, politician, shaming or social norm has the power to alter or strip you of that. Ever. It is what gives us each hope and faith in ourselves and one another. I was recently invited onto the Creative Genius Podcast with the amazing Kate Shepard. (Episode 81; Lisa Wagner – Permission to Create: Why Your Creativity Matters in Tough Times) We had the original interview scheduled in June. My sister passed away unexpectedly a few days prior. We rescheduled it two days post-election. The timing was not lost on either of us. In our darkest of times, it always seems to be the times we are called on to do the hardest, most meaningful work. Now feels just as hard and as essential to move our hands and use our gifts.
Kate and I agreed that during these
“Fighting
{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE } { MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE }
for what is right
and just is our Divine calling. Darkness will always be a part of this earthly plane but that does not mean you are destined to be swallowed whole by it.”
trying times, we tend to move away from creativity. But isn’t that when it is needed most? Whatever your gift is, the world will gratefully embrace it. It has no need to be perfect. Messy is precisely what is called for. It is a representation of everything around you that you are experiencing alongside all living beings. When you tap into our commonality of shared experiences, there is a deep and meaningful connection to one another and the Divine. There is nothing more powerful. Those who wish to control us and our voice first look to extinguish this power. To leave us confused, helpless and in a state of inaction. Never allow this for yourself or others. Today is the day to begin your journey back to your light.
Finding a tribe of creative buddies can help increase your light. Try doing the exercise of sun and it’s satellite stars with that tribe and share your stories. There is a connection and bond that will occur that couldn’t have happened any other way. Then take the next step. Decide what you will create, and the steps needed to get there. Encourage each other along the way and be accountable to one another. When we band together
to call out the darkness with our expressions of loving kindness in this way, that beam is exponentially larger and more formidable. There is no extinguishing or denying it by anyone. We leave the dark nowhere to
escape. It can only recede. This is how capable we are to turn the tide back to a more loving and inclusive energy we are all granted a birthright to.
Fighting for what is right and just is our Divine calling. Darkness will always be a part of this earthly plane but that does not mean you are destined to be swallowed whole by it. It can be a challenge to express your creativity; to shine in the darkness so that others can become as brave as you are. Once you put away egoic shame and fear and choose to be your highest expression of all that calls to your heart, you will willingly embrace your power. Know that you are fully capable of doing just that. Envision the collection of souls that will walk alongside you. That will give you the heroism you need lead with. You are a born trailblazer. Our hearts know the truth. They kindly ask us to use it to brighten the blackest of spaces. It’s a reminder that in times of struggle, our creativity can serve as a source of strength, unity, and healing for ourselves and those around us.
TEN YEARS
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
BY ROBYN DEWIND
2025 I will celebrate a decade as a solopreneur.
My small business began after leaving a career in television news, an industry that was already going through some major shifts. I knew deep down it was time for a change but had no idea what I was going to do.
Back then, the job market was pretty rough. The recession and the rise of the iPhone meant businesses could do more with fewer people, which gave employers all the power. Those desirable high-level corporate communications roles quickly transformed into mid-level marketing positions, leading to lower salaries and fewer job prospects.
Faced with a frustrating online application process and hardly any in-person interviews, I thought, why not create my own opportunity? So, there I was, sitting at my dining room table, thinking about my unique skills and how I could help potential clients. Video messaging was just starting to be a marketing tool. Many small to mid-sized businesses hadn’t yet realized how powerful video storytelling could be in connecting with employees, stakeholders, and customers.
share their stories in compelling ways. I was excited about the possibilities and hoped clients would be just as enthusiastic. But, as it turned out, it was tougher than I expected. During one memorable meeting, a local advertising owner listened
But the qualities that make you successful in life will also help you thrive in business.
Keep Your Moral Compass
In the early days, I wasn’t making videos and consulting; I was doing whatever I could to earn a paycheck—on-camera work, writing copy, media pitching— anything to keep the lights on. Some of those clients weren’t exactly the best to work with. When you’re in need, you have to say yes to work. A wise colleague once told me that there would come a time when I could confidently say “no” to those who don’t align with my values. Keeping your integrity is key.
The Right People Make All the Difference
I specialized in weaving together visuals and sound, helping people
patiently as I pitched my idea over coffee. He said, “That’s at least ten years away. No one has a budget for video.”
When my peers ask how I got started, I always say it wasn’t easy.
Survival is a motivator.
I built my business on strong relationships. My first client didn’t know me at all; I got referred to him by a complete stranger I met at a women’s seminar. She thought I’d be a good fit for his business that was looking to invest in video. He took a chance on me based purely on my reputation, with no portfolio to back me up. My second client, reminded me of my dad, and has been just as genuine and supportive since that first nerve-wracking visit to his office. Over the years, I’ve developed close friendships with industry professionals who have provided invaluable support during tough times. I love connecting with fellow solopreneurs—sharing experiences, and venting frustrations.
“I recently read that 23% of new small businesses fail within the first year, 48% by year five, and 65% by year ten. If you’re just starting out, hitting that ten-year mark might feel overwhelming.”
Stay in Your Lane
In this business world, there will always be someone with a fancier resume or a more impressive client list. But remember, bigger doesn’t always mean better. It can be tough not to feel inadequate when you’re not on the “top 10” list or when your social media isn’t blowing up. I’ve made a conscious effort not to ignore the noise. Eventually, I landed bigger clients who weren’t concerned about my website or social media status. The key is to trust in yourself; know your value.
Big Picture, Small Details
It’s so easy to get caught up in the daily grind of running a business.
Between managing schedules, handling invoicing, making follow-up calls, and attending meetings, the long-term goals can get pushed to the back burner. When you’re busy keeping up with your clients’ needs, it’s easy to forget to nurture your own business. But here’s the thing: it’s those small, daily actions that really add up to create the bigger picture of success. Engaging with clients, brainstorming, and pitching fresh ideas are those golden moments that can drive your business growth. It’s tough to stay inspired and creative when everything feels chaotic, but it’s often in those messy moments where the best breakthroughs happen.
Keep Learning
I’m all about learning. Whether I’m diving into a new client’s industry, picking up new tech skills, or tackling issues with my business taxes, I’m constantly flexing my mental muscles. It keeps me engaged and pushes me to improve.
I recently read that 23% of new small businesses fail within the first year, 48% by year five, and 65% by year ten. If you’re just starting out, hitting that ten-year mark might feel overwhelming. Honestly, I never thought I’d make it this far. I’m grateful to everyone who supported me personally and professionally. Never be afraid to bet on yourself.
Say hello to Summer, a 7-year-old, mixed bully breed that WAS available for adoption. Summer enjoyed her last few days with Animal Care Sanctuary in the care of a foster care where she settled in nice and quick! She had been deteriorating mentally at the shelter, however when she arrived at her foster home, Summer had rediscovered her joy and exuberance! When she plays, Summer plays hard, she loves a good tug-o-war match and will play fetch until you can’t throw anymore. She settles down well, loves to cuddle on the couch and enjoys a good long nap after playtime. Summer loves people more than anything else... other animals, not so much.
Summer landed a home that matched her preference of being the only fur baby in the home because she obviously requires all of the love as most bully breeds do. Summer came to Animal Care Sanctuary as a transfer and trade with Providence Animal Center located near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Sometimes, when we have dogs that have been in our care for a long time, we look towards other shelters to trade with. This network opportunity can be vital to the success of our animals being adopted and vice versa for the partner shelter involved.
It’s a great opportunity for a new demographic of interested adopters to see the dogs and in Summer’s case, it worked! Summer spent months and months at her previous shelter. She was also in a foster home within their community just unfortunately couldn’t land a home. She spent just over three
SUMMER
BY THE ACS TEAM
months at Animal Care Sanctuary, she went into foster January 11th and was adopted just 17 days later! Summer is a lovely dog. Loyal, happy, playful, hopeful and is great at making you smile. She has energy but knows when it’s time to chill. Summer is great for grooming and also for vet care. She’s even crate and house trained! Even with all of these positive attributes,
we are always transparent with our community when talking about our animals. We believe transparency provides successful and appropriate placements. We discussed in great length Summer’s shortcomings with her new family; she is dog reactive and would not be able to live in a home with other dogs, she doesn’t see the benefit of having kitty friends either so a home without cats was also on her checklist.
Being dog and cat reactive can put a major hold on an adoption since so many of our community members already have dogs, cats, or both. It also means behavioral management and/ or professional training and can be a lot to ask of someone. Sometimes, what we call a unicorn adopter comes in and our eyes light up because we know how hard it can be to place dogs and cats with these challenges in homes. Summer was lucky. Her people came in one day looking to foster a dog in need. All of our animals would benefit from a foster home, but some need it more than others. We always try our best to matchmake appropriately and are 100% transparent with the challenges our animals struggle with while in our care. Summer was chosen by the foster couple and even better news, that same foster couple fell in love and didn’t let her go. They foster failed. Summer’s living the dream.
She’s going for car rides, explores her surroundings, snuggling up for naps, eating good food, and receiving unconditional love. We hope this for all of our animals, even the ones that can be more challenging to manage. They all deserve the best from us, and we work to help provide a positive outcome for everybody in our care, each day through boots on the groundwork, education, behavior modification training, and enrichment.
For more information visit our website at www.acs.com
ACCEPTING OTHERS AND OURSELVES:
BY JAYNE MILLER
Accepting Others and Ourselves: The Physical Body
There has been a lot said in recent years about being kind. Little sayings on cards and plaques state the importance of being kind. Most people interpret that as being kind to others, which is, of course, great!
One main way of being kind to others embraces also being kind to ourselves! As women, we desperately need to stop putting ourselves down, and continually finding and identifying physical things that we perceive as “wrong” or lacking and inferior about ourselves.
We cannot and should not hold ourselves and others to society’s unrealistic standards. Probably at least 95 percent of us are not celebrities, professional women sports athletes, Olympic stars, gymnasts, or ballerinas and dancers.
We also might not fall into society’s stated and unstated physical standards, such as the old, coveted measurements of 36” 24” 36.” We might not be smallboned, tiny-framed and petite, with long, beautiful blond hair and blue eyes.
Of course, blond hair and long hair can be purchased and worn if we desire, as well as blue contact lenses.
A main problem that I notice among women is constantly finding fault with other women’s personal physique and style. We criticize them, and we criticize ourselves, often to the degree of being very unkind.
Being unkind and overly critical does
not help other people, and it certainly does not help ourselves. Yes, of course, there is a lot to be said that is true about taking care of our physical body for health, quality of life and mobility, and longevity reasons.
All we can do is our best. We can, of course, try to eat as healthily as possible, and exercise to our own individual capabilities. There is nothing new for me to report about that! Doctors, health and aging experts, medical personnel, are all teeming and abounding with thousands of ideas with an incredible, unmeasurable amount of information.
What I am referring to here is accepting and being kind to ourselves and other women. In the name of sisterhood, can we all please be kinder? It is not usually necessary to comment negatively about every woman we see: “oh my! Look at her in those white pants! How could she leave the house like that? Look at her hair color? Look at her obesity!”
I cannot state strongly enough that we do not know what other people are going through, what they are thinking and feeling, and what trauma they may have suffered, endured, experienced, and survived.
A woman I know told me that she would not wear rings because her fingers were “fat” and somewhat misshapen due to arthritis. I replied, “just decorate what you have! Enjoy wearing pretty rings.” So okay, she may not qualify to be a petite hand model, but so what?! Another woman I know is actually very petite. She is an older, mature woman, 76 years old. She told me that she would only wear tops with turtlenecks, because she
did not like her “turkey neck.” My reply was that at the end of our life, are we really going to regret that other people noticed our extra skin? Certainly, we do not have to love and appreciate our loose or hanging upper arm skin, aka “batwings.” Indeed, we all have parts of our body that we do not necessarily like.
I know what I am talking about. I was a thin child and a “normal” slim size until my early 20.’s. I went through a lot of trauma, tragedy, and death of many family members; I used food to comfort me. I gained over 200 pounds over the years.
Some people cope with their pain, sadness, and depression by abusing alcohol, drugs, smoking, etc. Other people deal with the unfairness and trials and tribulations of life by cheating, lying, gambling, etc.
It is just that being overweight is very noticeable. I have since lost 170 pounds and have kept it off for about 15 years. So yes indeed, I might win a contest for my large “batwings,” but alas, no one is offering a big pay-out for modeling them! In another instance, a woman told me that I should be wearing only ¾ length or long sleeves. I am not willing to be uncomfortable in warm weather; I enjoy wearing short-sleeved shirts or tank tops. Gasp! Clutch those pearls!
A good friend of mine told me that I should not have any purple dye in my hair, as I was 60 years old. I am now aged 66, and I still have purple in my hair. We can express ourselves however we want. Sure, there are some professions that require a certain clothing style or
{ EMPOWERING WOMEN WITH KINDNESS }
“Lack of any self-confidence is not an attractive trait. Practice looking at and accepting yourself; try saying three good things about your appearance. Celebrate you! “
physical demeanor, but that is different.
Actual ways of being kind consist of accepting ourselves. The more that we understand and accept ourselves, with all our physical “imperfections,” the easier it is to be kinder to other women.
When I am out, I enjoy being kind. I compliment other women, if I notice something pretty; of course, I will mention it. I believe in being authentic and sincere. I have told other women that I love their hair color or hair style, or that I like their earrings, etc. We need to encourage and support each other!
And sometimes, we just cannot take ourselves so seriously. Whatever one
believes in a religious or spiritual sense, our body is only an outside “shell.” We are more than our physical appearance; we are our essence. And, that can be our real beauty!
Furthermore, for some of us, kindness and acceptance are easier than it is for others. Many of us have an entire lifetime of experiences, mostly negative, of being shamed, feeling humiliated and embarrassed, by being meanly criticized by others, family, and even friends.
Time, life, maturity, and experience can cause us to learn what is really important in life. Again, of course, I am not saying to not take care of yourself! Just try to do your best to take care of your health.
And you do not have to concede or “give in” to society’s ridiculous standards.
Furthermore, just a parting thought here: can you imagine meeting a potential date or life partner, and when you ask them to tell you about themselves, all they did was put themselves down? Lack of any self-confidence is not an attractive trait. Practice looking at and accepting yourself; try saying three good things about your appearance. Celebrate you! And celebrate others!
I look forward to your feedback and any questions! Thank you.
BALANCED PERINATAL CARE RESOURCES
As a C-IAYT Yoga Therapist I try to approach my own life as well as the yoga therapy I do with clients through yoga’s Panchakosha model. I have explained the kosha model in previous “Life in Balance” columns but I will outline it briefly here. To paint a picture and liken it to a western perspective – which it doesn’t need to be because it is a whole complete philosophy on its own - it is similar to the biopsychosocial emotional spiritual model. The kosha model consists of five sheaths that exist within us.
Annamaya Kosha: Physical or Food Sheath
Pranamaya Kosha: Energetic, Breath or Life Force Sheath
Manomaya Kosha: Mind or Mental Sheath
Vijnanamaya Kosha: Wisdom or Intuition Sheath
Anandamaya Kosha: Bliss Sheath
In my heart of hearts and from personal experience I know that tuning into these sheaths is life changing for almost everyone. However, for this month we are going to focus on birthing people. From the moment you conceive or even start to think about getting pregnant, it seems like one of two things happen: you are flooded with nonprofessional, unsolicited advice OR you feel like you have virtually no access or support – butting up against red tape and impersonal responses. The practitioner list to follow is by no means exclusive – there are great providers through NYS and ROC who I have not met or who are not accepting new clients
BY KAITLYN VITTOZZI
at this time, but I can attest that these practitioners will listen and attend to your needs in mind, body and spirit vs. looking at it from a strictly clinical perspective.
Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy
– In short, pelvic floor physical therapy can be great for labor prep or for recovering postpartum. Both Wellness360 Physical Therapy & Massage and Iron Rose use holistic approaches including assessment of your symptoms, internal exams, and exercises that both strengthen and relax your pelvic floor. Not sure if pelvic floor PT is for you? If you have ever experienced back pain, it is worth trying.
Mental Health Therapy –
According to Postpartum Support International, “Research shows that 1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men may experience depression or anxiety during the perinatal period.” It’s nobody’s fault. Pregnancy, pregnancy loss or abortion are all major life changes and stressors. Unfortunately there can be a real stigma around being honest about your mental health when you feel like you’re supposed to look like you have it together. Kindred Connection, LLC and Tranquility Counseling & Wellness are safe, confidential places to talk about your concerns.
Doula Services – If you have read this far and feel like doulas are only for “crunchy granola natural births”, think again. Doulas can provide emotional and physical support not just during the birthing process but also help you feel prepared beforehand with
prenatal birthing education. Aside from advocating for you during your hospital stay, Majestic Doula Care and Royalty Birth Services offer services like placenta encapsulation and sleep support postpartum so baby and mom both get to be taken care of. Group Classes – Of course classes are great for learning new skills, but it can also be really helpful to be in community with other parents going through the same life changes. Beautiful Birth Choices as well as Birth & Bloom offer everything from prenatal yoga to childbirth education to breastfeeding.
Individual or Couples Yoga Therapy – If you are looking to be present and relaxed during your pregnancy, labor, and parenthood, yoga therapy is for you. Yoga therapy is not just movement but also meditation, breath and practicing a more yogic and ayurvedic lifestyle. Plus, all postures will be adjusted for where your body is in your perinatal process. Call Penfield Yoga Therapy (if you want to visit me) or Align Integrated Wellness to come up with an individual plan where your Certified Yoga Therapist can really attend to your koshas - where they’re at now and where you might like them to be. Feeling a little distant from your partner during this process? So often new couples find themselves staring at baby instead of looking into each other’s eyes. Consider scheduling a couple’s session.
Chiropractic Care – Perinatal chiropractic care is versatile – from back and pelvic pain to assisting with
{ SHIFT+CONTROL } { A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE } { LIFE IN BALANCE }
“According to Postpartum Support International, “Research shows that 1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men may experience depression or anxiety during the perinatal period.””
getting baby into the ideal delivery position, ANH Wellness and Rochester Family Chiropractic have you covered pre and postpartum. Plus, they can take care of any little ones who arrive in a really gentle way to help with latching and upset bellies.
Acupuncture Services – Hormones are complicated. Infertility is frustrating
and painful. Traditional Chinese Medicine takes a different approach. Acu585 and Dawn’s Acupuncture specialize in women’s needs. While the needles may seem intimidating if you are new to acupuncture, the experience is often surprisingly relaxing – who doesn’t like an excuse to take a nap? You can also visit WNYPostpartum. com or Postpartum.net for more
resources in and out of NYS. If you need help at any hour or are worried about yourself or your baby please call PSI International at 1-800-944-4773. PSI can also give nonjudgemental, evidence-based recommendations on medication to your OB/GYN or PCP if you are uneasy about a recommendation.
PUT YOUR FORK DOWN
For most of us that struggle with weight, obesity, and food addiction, putting our forks down is nearly impossible. We are taught to clean our plates and eat a diet high in carbohydrates. Those two recommendations are false and not the proper way to be raised. So, now, in our post-menopausal state we are not just fighting hormonal change but struggling with change. We do not feel like ourselves anymore with hot flashes, irritability, lack of sleep, and for some, depression. I wanted to hide from the world both mentally and physically and prayed everyday that my discomfort would resolve. \
So, in our sleep deprived, irritable state, we must face our demons and seek out change when changes got us here. Our estrogen deficiency put us in our place, and it feels impossible to relieve or change anything. But, change can be made simple with the proper nutrition, coaching, and the right program. I chose SHAPE ReClaimed because I was watching my patients losing weight and feeling good. I saw such positive changes including attitude. I also saw improved laboratory studies including hemoglobin A1C or resolution of diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, asthma, and anxiety and depression. Unbelievably, simple weight loss improves many diseases and symptoms.
I am the perfect example. I feel like every woman should be running to my office to start this program. I was riddled with migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, body aches,
BY DR KELLY LISCIANDRO
sleep deprivation, and anxiety and depression. I knew something had to change because I was miserable. I started the program and made simple changes in my diet. I was able to put my fork down, listen to my body, and make choices regarding everything that I put in my mouth. That was incredible to me. Never had I ever been able to do that.
My cravings went away. I was not looking for carbohydrates or sugar. I was able to make clear decisions about what I was going to eat. I had no food noise except for prepping and planning. I was satisfied with everything I ate. I was not looking for food. I had to make myself eat. I had no appetite and felt full all the time.
That feeling can be achieved with eating diet high in non-starchy vegetables, fruit, and high lean protein. It is all hormonal and is easily manipulated by proper nutrition. We produce all the hormones in our body necessary for weight management. We have come a long way in research to understand the connection between hormones, glucose control, and weight.
As all these changes were occurring, I was feeling a lot of energy, focus, attention, and confidence. I felt like I was reborn. I was a new me and loving the way I felt. My bloating was gone, and I was watching the scale change. How could this be that I felt so good and was losing weight? My gut health was “normal” for the first time in years. My headaches were gone. My mental clarity was
unbelievable. I was on my game every day and in awe of what was happening to me. My brain, body and soul were all healing. When I told my partners what I was doing and how I felt, I was jumping up and down. For those that know me, I am a cheerleader in life! I raise my arms to celebrate and jump up and down. Even at 57 years young!
I have not lost this feeling after two years. I have maintained my weight loss and my healthy eating habits. I do not miss any of my old habits or weight. I eat like a champion, I eat everything I want, the ingredients just look a little different. I have learned to be efficient in the kitchen and how to prep food. My life is busy and demanding like most working Moms, so I do not have a lot of time to prepare. This is honestly the simplest thing and time efficient program I have ever encountered for weight loss. I use whole foods and whole ingredients. I do not miss processed foods. When I have had exposure over the holidays, I did not feel good. I pride myself on how good I feel and look so it is easy to not indulge in unhealthy food now.
I feel like I did this with ease. It is simply incredible to me that that comes out of my mouth regarding my weight and my weight loss journey. I became a SHAPE ReClaimed practitioner within a few months of starting the program. I was so passionate about the way it felt and looked that I wanted to share it with the world. I offer it to my clients and patients in my practice. I have a passion
“ I wanted to hide from the world both mentally and physically and prayed everyday that my discomfort would resolve. “
for obesity and for those struggling with their weight, self-image, and food addiction. SHAPE ReClaimed is a wellness program that balances hormones, neurologic function, and metabolism. Shedding excess weight is the side effect.
My clients have been remarkably successful. Most of them made it fun and adventurous. I had same attitude and still do regarding food and weight
management. Not only obese patients benefit from SHAPE but also my overweight patients who want to look and feel better. I have had a few women achieve normal BMI with the program. That is incredible to me in a post-menopausal or perimenopausal woman. I do not think I ever saw that on any other program during my 22 years in practice. It is simply incredible.
I feel that all women should reclaim their confidence, their shape, and their self-esteem. Reclaim the mirror and feel your beauty inside and out! We are beautiful. We are successful. We are nurturers. Let us nurture ourselves now. We deserve this.
FROM TRAUMA TO TRIUMPH
The Alignment Breakthrough You Need
Baby, it’s cold outside. But truth be told, these freezing temperatures have kept me frozen in more ways than one. I always knew about the fight or flight response, but recently, I learned about something else—the freeze response. Oh, that explains a lot.
So the real question became: How do I go from frozen to flow? How do I move forward when faced with physical, financial, and even emotional roadblocks? These weren’t just “limiting beliefs.” They were real obstacles—but I also knew that solutions can always be found.
Are You Stuck in Resistance Mode?
Do you have obstacles standing in your way? Maybe you feel stuck in place, like no matter how much you want to move forward, something keeps holding you back. I get it—I’ve been there.
BY LORI BRUTON
the very things you desire? We tell ourselves stories that keep us stuck:
“I have nothing to offer.”
“I tried before, and it didn’t work.”
“It’s too hard.”
“No one listens to me.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“I don’t know enough.”
“I can’t be a coach, speaker, or author.”
“I can’t handle the responsibility.”
“I am skilled, capable, and ready.”
“I help people. I make an impact.”
“I am an excellent coach who helps many people.”
“I can handle the responsibility.”
“People want what I have and accept what I offer.”
These are not just empty affirmations or visualizations. In fact, sometimes simply writing down goals or visualizing success can actually push us further away—because we haven’t aligned our minds and bodies.
“No one wants what I have.”
But here’s the truth: If we stay in hibernation, denial, or hesitation, we remain frozen. Whether you’re a high achiever striving for more, someone looking for a fresh start, or just wanting to enjoy life on a deeper level, the obstacles don’t define you—what you do next does.
So let me ask you: Are you resisting
Sound familiar? These are what I call NON-IDEALS, and they create inner resistance that keeps us in a loop of self-doubt, fear, and inaction.
Turning NON-IDEALS into IDEALS
Instead of letting those thoughts take over, let’s flip the script.
“I have so much to offer.”
“This is easy and it works.”
“The right people listen to me.”
It’s all about definitions. Certain meanings we put on words can actually trigger us, which produces a fight or flight response. What you’ve seen, heard, felt, or experienced all play a part. The first part of redefining is realigning and that is where the cellular ALIGNMENT technique comes in.
This specific alignment technique I learned works. I admit that I was skeptical at first and wasn’t willing or open to doing it. This cost me time and delayed my results.
The Moment Everything Changed
Not long ago, I was invited to speak at a wellness retreat. On the final night, as the group gathered in the living room, the host played the song “Landslide.” And suddenly, I felt myself spiraling. That song took me back to one of the darkest moments
{ THE LORI FACTOR }
“Once you get into true alignment, everything shifts—your actions, your mindset, and your results.”
of my life—a time when I hit rock bottom and attempted suicide. The emotions surged, overwhelming me. I could feel the panic rising.
Then, instinct kicked in. I ran to the bathroom, locked the door, and looked at myself in the mirror. Through streaming tears, I spoke these words out loud:
“You are not that girl anymore.”
“You are forgiven.”
“You are safe.”
“You have value.”
“You are a new creation.”
“You are strong and courageous.”
And then? I performed the alignment technique that changed everything. Within minutes, the panic subsided. The past no longer had power over
me. I worked through those triggers. I stepped out of that bathroom not as the broken version of myself, but as the healed, whole, and confident woman that I am now.
What’s Holding You Back?
Maybe you’re dealing with over-analysis paralysis. Maybe you keep secondguessing yourself or feel overwhelmed by fear, uncertainty, or self-doubt. I’m here to tell you: You don’t have to stay frozen.
What if you could finally break through? What if you could shift your resistance into momentum? What if you could move from frustration to fulfillment?
Your Next Step: Align & Transform
The first step to change is realignment. Once you get into true alignment, everything shifts—your actions, your mindset, and your results.
I know, because I’ve done it. And now, I help others do the same quickly.
If you’re ready to break through, let’s talk. I offer a complimentary breakthrough call where we identify your resistance, realign your mindset, and create a plan to move you forward.
Are you ready? Take the first step toward clarity, confidence, and transformation. Book your free call here.
DEALING WITH REJECTION
Rejection is an undisputed fact of life. We all face rejection, in one form or another, throughout our lives.
Some of us may face more episodes of rejection than others. Obviously, those of us who are hypersensitive are more likely to encounter more frequent periods of rejection. If we tend to overpersonalize neutral events in our lives, we will also be more likely to interpret them as incidents of rejection.
We feel rejection when we face the loss of something that we deeply valued or wanted. Rejection has been defined as the act of pushing someone or something away.
There are many possible explanations for why we encounter rejection in our lives. It’s important to remember that, many times, rejection is unrelated to who we are. However, it may reflect that someone else does not accept a specific type of behavior that we have exhibited.
Rejection is painful because it violates our fundamental need to belong. Experiencing rejection is so painful because it destabilizes our basic need to be a member of a social group. In fact, experiencing social rejection activates the same brain pathways that are activated when we experience physical pain. It is “hard-wired” in us to belong to one another, to need each other in meaningful, reliable ways. When this fails to happen, it hurts.
Those of us who have secure attachment styles are more likely to be resilient after facing rejection. Attachment styles
BY BONNIE FLOYD
refer to those models which form the patterns of how we view relationships in our lives. These attachment styles are typically provided by our parents, or primary caregivers.
Personally, I’ve recently been challenged by rejections in my personal and professional life, neither of which was pleasant to deal with at all. After only having met with me for one session, a teletherapy client chose to transfer to another therapist. I was never informed about the reason why. Perhaps she didn’t like my theoretical orientation, or maybe our schedules simply failed to line up. I try to focus my energies on working effectively with those clients who do choose to work with me, rather than to waste my resources on trying to figure out why I’m not a good fit for someone.
Also, I recently decided to reach out to a college friend, someone whom I had not been in contact with for thirty years; he chose to not respond to me. I decided to graciously wish him well, and simply let this issue go. Again, I have decided to direct my limited energy towards those individuals who have expressed interest in maintaining an ongoing, bidirectional friendship. Life is far too short to focus on those who fall away along the way, in my humble opinion.
How we choose to respond to rejection is incredibly important. Healthy responses to encountering rejection involve the following steps: 1). Fully acknowledge that the rejection has occurred (don’t try to deny it); 2). Attempt to learn something valuable
from the experience (no experience need ever be wasted in our lives, even if painful); 3). Process your emotional reaction to rejection (feel sadness, anger, and/or anxiety); 4). Practice selfcompassion (be gentle with yourself, and acknowledge that rejection means that you were willing to take a risk); 5). Engage in healthy practices (eat healthy, get enough sleep, exercise, and hydrate); and, 6) Be willing to risk taking another chance in the future (don’t assume that a previous experience of rejection will inevitably be repeated in the future).
One essential means of buffering one’s self against rejection involves improving your self-esteem. Doing so will help you to become more resistant to feeling upset when others fail to include you in valued events or activities. Make a list of your positive attributes, your valued personality traits, your meaningful contributions, etc. Doing so will help raise your self-esteem, as well as potentially reveal deficits to work on remedying. Although we rarely recognize it immediately after it takes place, sometimes rejection can be the very best thing that could ever possibly happen to us. That’s because it redirects our path in an entirely different, but ultimately better, direction.
Bonnie J. Floyd, Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychologist
