On our cover for the September 2024 edition we have Kathy Lovett-McKeever, our reigning 2024 Mrs New York America photographed by @magicdreamsproductions and @constantine_james for creating the perfect hair and makeup look!
Dear Readers,
As we step into the vibrant month of September, I am thrilled to introduce our latest edition of Rochester Woman Online, featuring none other than our reigning Mrs. New York America 2024, Kathy Lovett-McKeever, as our incredible cover woman. Kathy’s story is one of resilience, perseverance, and the power of following one’s dreams. From a small-town girl to being crowned a queen, she embodies the essence of what it means to rise above challenges and pursue your passion relentlessly. We are honored to share her remarkable journey in this month’s issue, inspiring us all to chase our dreams, no matter where we begin.
In addition to Kathy’s story, we bring you a variety of influential figures who have made their mark. Meet our influential man, Dan Ryan, who continues to inspire through his leadership, and our influential woman, Raeanne Lacatena, whose contributions to her community are nothing short of empowering. These stories, along with many others, are sure to captivate and motivate you.
September is also packed with exciting events, and we invite you to join us on Sunday, October 6, for our Mind, Body, & Spirit Wellness Expo at the Holiday Inn Downtown Rochester. This event will bring together some of our featured writers, as well as amazing men and women who will be taking the stage to share their powerful stories with our audience.
Mark your calendars for October 12, when we will ROC the runway at our fabulous fashion show and fundraiser. This special event benefits local musician and former cover woman, Katy Eberts, whose inspiring recovery after a lifechanging accident will culminate in a surprise that you won’t want to miss. Join us as we support her continued journey toward healing and triumph.
Thank you for your continued support and for being part of the Rochester Woman Online family. Let’s celebrate these stories of strength, perseverance, and community together.
Kelly Breuer Publisher, Rochester Woman Online Magazine
{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }
PUBLISHER
FREELANCE EDITOR
CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN
LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER
PHOTOGRAPHY
Kelly Breuer
Marisa Zeppieri
Kelly Breuer WeShootFilms
Kameron Ashford
Julie Oldfield
Inga Mucha
Brandon Vick WeShootFilms
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Kathy Lovett-McKeever
Lisa Wagner
Denise “Karma” Clifford
Dan Ryan
Kelly Metras
Kelly Bush
Nicole Doyley
The ACS Team
Joanne Ryan
Veronica Ryan
Anne Leah Mauro
Tere Marie
Christine Piacentino
Lori Bruton
Raeanne Lacatena
Dr Pamala Brown-Grinion
Lorraine Kane
ADVERTISING SALES
SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR
WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT
Kelly Breuer
Network Rochester
Network Rochester
KATHY LOVETT-MCKEEVER
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
PHOTOS BY LAURA MARINO, ROBYN BATY, @VILLAGEOFHAMBURG, MAGIC DREAMS PRODUCTIONS
Meet the Cover Woman: Mrs. New York America 2024 In this edition of Rochester Woman Online, we are honored to feature an inspiring woman who embodies resilience, perseverance, and the power of following one’s dreams— Mrs. New York America 2024 Kathy Lovett-McKeever. Her journey from a small-town girl with big aspirations to a crown-winning titleholder is a testament to the strength of self-belief and dedication. With a passion for CPR education and a commitment to making a difference in her community, she’s not only a pageant queen but a hero in her own right.
This remarkable woman has spent years chasing her dreams, overcoming challenges, and empowering others along the way. As she reflects on her path to the Mrs. New York crown, she shares with us the highs, the hurdles, and the heart that has driven her to become the inspiring figure she is today.
Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background?
I grew up in the small town of Bergen, NY, with five amazing sisters. Growing up, I had pretty severe social anxiety. I struggled with my identity and figuring out who I was “meant” to be, but I had dreams. I could picture myself doing something big and impactful, but I didn’t know what that “thing” was.
At the age of 15, I became a lifeguard, which is when I first learned how to perform CPR. Then in college, I became a lifeguard and CPR instructor while
earning my degree in meteorology and meeting my now-husband, Glenn. Now, 13 years later, I am still a CPR instructor and live with Glenn in Buffalo. We love gardening, weather watching, and cheering on the Buffalo Bills.
When did you know that competing in pageants was something you wanted to pursue?
I had always wanted to do a pageant since I was a kid and saw a beauty queen in a parade. I wanted to know more! How did they earn the title of ‘princess?’ That’s what originally sparked my curiosity. Then I saw pageants on TV and realized there was so much more to it than wearing
a pretty dress and trying to get a crown. These women had incredible journeys, meaningful platforms, and worked hard in their communities. That’s when I really wanted to be part of it! I competed in my first pageant at 26 when Glenn proposed to me. If I wanted to compete as a Miss, it was now or never. Soon after that first pageant, I discovered the Mrs. America system and set a new goal: to be on the Mrs. America stage. Eight years later, I finally had that dream come true.
How did you prepare yourself for the competition for Mrs. New York America?
It wasn’t just the physical part of the competition, like working with a trainer. Much of the preparation is about mental and emotional health as well. I wanted to make sure I was fully prepared for the interview so that I could confidently answer any question. I did several mock interviews and carried a Ziploc bag of 50 popular pageant questions everywhere with me. Whenever I had downtime, I’d pull a question out and answer it on the spot within 30 seconds. I also practiced my walk at my gym after almost every workout because I wanted to practice while tired, which is exactly how it feels at Nationals!
What was the first thought that went through your mind when you won the title of Mrs. New York America 2024?
We did it. On my third try, I finally won the crown. This was a moment I had dreamed about for eight years!
“Another thing, kindness matters. People will forget what you say but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
What was the first thing you did after winning the title?
I actually won during CPR Awareness Week! So, whether I won the crown or not, I had an appearance planned on Daytime Buffalo to teach viewers how to perform CPR. Now, almost the same situation—only two days after coming back from Mrs. America in Vegas—I’ll be teaching Hands-Only CPR at an event sponsored by Damar Hamlin’s foundation, Chasing M’s.
What do you do when you’re not promoting the pageant?
Honestly, I feel like I’m always promoting the pageant! Even when I’m not wearing my crown and sash, I’m always trying to promote my platform and the Mrs. America system. As a titleholder, you’re always “on.”
What platform or cause are you most passionate about, and how do you advocate for it?
I advocate for CPR education through my platform, “Be the Everyday Hero,” as a CPR instructor in my community. The majority of cardiac arrests occur outside of hospitals, so victims rely on bystanders to step in and know what to do. The sooner compressions are performed and the sooner an AED arrives, the chances of survival can triple. I also partner with Victoria’s Voice as a Beauty for Good ambassador. During my CPR classes, I teach Narcan administration and advocate that Narcan should be kept with AEDs. There was a time when I brought an AED to a man in cardiac arrest, and I saw a needle next to him. The man needed Narcan. The EMTs arrived
and used four doses to revive him. It was a close call. If we had Narcan with the AED, we could have administered it on the scene.
How has being Mrs. New York America changed your life so far?
Even being Mrs. Buffalo changed my life! The opportunities and experiences that come with stepping outside of your comfort zone make the journey absolutely worth all the hard work and time you put in. I’ve been invited onto the field at Buffalo Bills games, thrown out the first pitch at Bisons games, kick-started modeling, and even helped judge a national mullet contest!
What has been your most memorable experience during your reign?
I feel so blessed to have had so many opportunities over the last year. I was invited this year and last year, as Mrs. Buffalo, to hold a flag at the Bills stadium before kickoff and dance on the field during the halftime show. I’ll be doing the same thing at the Bills home opener this year!
What role has your husband played in your journey, and what does he think about all of this?
Last year, after not making the finals at Mrs. New York, I was pretty crushed. But if you have a dream in your heart, it’s there for a reason. I looked at Glenn and said, “What if I try just one more time?” He jumped up and said, “Let’s do this!” That spark of encouragement was just what I needed to compete one more time. And hey, the third time was a charm!
How do you balance your personal life with your responsibilities as Mrs. New York America?
Luckily, my work makes it easy! As a Food Safety Manager at Wegmans, I have a pretty flexible schedule that allows me time to volunteer in my community and prep for Mrs. America. On several occasions, events I’m volunteering at are also supported by Wegmans as a sponsor! I’ve also picked up modeling, which I’ve really enjoyed.
What advice would you give to other women who are considering entering pageants?
Do it! “Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident.” – Carrie Fisher.
If you wait until you feel “ready” or “confident” enough, you could just keep waiting! Work with a coach to help you prepare, and take the leap. Even if you don’t win, it is absolutely worth it. You will have people guiding you along the journey.
Can you share something interesting about yourself that others may not know?
Many people look at me and ask how I can “radiate” such confidence, but that’s not totally the case. It took a lot for me to get to this moment. I used to have severe social anxiety and was truly afraid to speak to people. But I wanted to become a pageant titleholder, and I knew that was something I would need to overcome. I slowly started putting myself outside of my
“I
was invited this year and last year, as Mrs. Buffalo, to hold a flag at the Bills stadium before kickoff and dance on the field during the halftime show.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
comfort zone by talking to strangers. Wegmans even had me take the Dale Carnegie class to help me become a better speaker. It’s okay to be unsure of yourself, but you need to push through and believe in yourself. The confidence will follow.
What are your plans for the future, both personally and professionally?
Good question! Getting to the Mrs. America stage was an eight-year goal of mine. So what’s next?
I’ll need some time to figure that out, but hopefully, it won’t take another eight years!
How do you feel this year’s competition was different from previous years that you’ve participated in?
This was my third year trying for the crown, and I thought, it’s now or never. Having not made the finals the previous two years, I knew I needed to change my approach. I had to push through any previous roadblocks. I still had my guard up and hadn’t fully opened up to anyone. At the same time I was preparing for Mrs. New York, I was also nominated as a Woman of Impact for the American Heart Association. I was in a blind competition to try and raise as much money as possible in a nine-week timeframe. My heart set a goal of $10,000, but my brain kept saying, “Maybe you should stick with $3,000…”
team raised $10,000 in nine weeks, and I won Buffalo’s inaugural Woman of Impact.
What challenges have you faced in the pageant world, and how have you overcome them?
I used to let other contestants intimidate me, and I would compare myself to them. While I admired the other women and their accomplishments,
nights, and time in heels were worth it! I think the best part was drinking champagne in the iconic Elvis suite at the Westgate hotel. It was such a beautiful luxury suite, with so many fine details. It was like stepping into a moment in history.
How do you stay grounded and focused with all the attention and responsibilities that come with your title?
this year, I stayed totally focused on myself, recited positive affirmations, and took pride in my achievements. Anytime I felt down or distracted, I just thought of my “why.”
My family is a huge reason why I stay grounded. Having six sisters helps keep me focused! I have help from my friends! The best part about being a New York title holder, is that we have such a strong presence of formers that help guide us and prepare us for Nationals as well as Diane Hardgrove, a former Mrs World and the greatest director that truly believes in each and every I also try to take time each day to check in with myself and set small goals. Every night, I set an alarm for 7 p.m. to write down a list of things I want to accomplish. I then add to it, including new things I didn’t originally write down but have accomplished that day.
That’s when it clicked for me. I needed to stop listening to my brain and follow my heart. And we did it. My
What was the experience like at the national Mrs. America pageant? Even better than I had imagined. I spent almost two weeks in Vegas. Don’t get me wrong, my feet are feeling it! But I was running on adrenaline and a dream, so the early mornings, late
What are your thoughts on how pageantry has evolved over the years, particularly in terms of women’s empowerment?
Pageantry is about so much more than beauty. It’s about how we serve others and help our communities. You get to hear other women’s stories and how they got to where they are. It’s inspirational.
“ DO IT! “Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s IMPORTANT is the action. You don’t have to wait to be CONFIDENT.” –Carrie Fisher. ”
“I advocate for CPR education through my platform, “Be the Everyday Hero,” as a CPR instructor in my community.”
What legacy do you hope to leave behind as Mrs. New York America?
Even though I did not win Mrs America, I stayed true to myself and I would not
change a thing. Another thing, kindness matters. People will forget what you say but they’ll never forget how you made them feel. And of course, Over
the last year, I’ve taught thousands Hands-Only CPR.
{ QUEEN OF ARTS } YOU ARE ENOUGH.
DIXIELAND IMAGES
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Empowering Through the Lens: The Inspiring Journey of Marcy Morgan and DixieLand Images
Marcy Morgan, the founder of DixieLand Images, has built more than just a photography business—she has created a space where confidence, self-love, and empowerment come to life. What started as a simple passion for capturing memories evolved into a personal mission to instill self-assurance and positivity in her clients. Her story is one of transformation, resilience, and the ability to see beauty in every stage of life. From humble beginnings to navigating the complexities of motherhood, personal challenges, and building a successful business, Marcy’s journey is nothing short of inspiring. In today’s world, where beauty standards are often dictated by unrealistic social media portrayals and societal pressures, Marcy’s mission is to remind her clients of their inherent worth. She believes that everyone—regardless of age, background, or life circumstances—is beautiful, strong, and worthy. Through her photography, Marcy doesn’t just capture images; she captures the essence of the individual, helping them see themselves in a new, empowering light. This is her story—a story of passion, purpose, and perseverance.
A Passion Transformed: The Birth of DixieLand Images
Marcy Morgan’s journey into photography began like many artists— with a deep passion for the craft and a desire to capture moments that would last a lifetime. She initially founded DixieLand Images with a simple goal in mind: to create beautiful, lasting
memories through her lens. “I initially founded DixieLand Images because I had a passion for photography and the way it helps to capture and cherish moments, creating lasting memories,” Marcy recalls.
But as time went on, her business evolved into something much more profound. Photography, for Marcy, became a tool not just for preserving memories, but for building confidence and empowering others. “It’s now about instilling confidence within oneself, no matter who you are, what you believe in, or how others may view you,” she says. Through her lens, Marcy has been able to help people see themselves in a new light, realizing their worth and embracing their true selves.
As Marcy transitioned through different stages of her life—growing older, getting married, and having her first child—she found herself facing her own personal struggles with confidence and identity. “I remember being a new mom, struggling to regain my identity as a woman,” she reflects. “I no longer felt beautiful or sexy, and my focus was solely on my family and my son.” It was during this time that Marcy faced one of her greatest challenges: a spinal injury that left her bedridden for over a month and required surgery. The recovery was long and arduous, taking a toll on her mental, physical, and emotional health.
“I felt lost and like I didn’t know myself anymore,” Marcy admits. “I knew I had to make a change, if not
for myself, then for my family.” Slowly, she began to reach out to loved ones, seeking support and anything that could provide relief from the overwhelming challenges she was facing. Through time and effort, she started to heal, both physically and emotionally. And as she regained her strength, she also regained her sense of self.
“I soon realized I’m not the only one battling these internal struggles, overcoming challenges and changes that life naturally brings,” Marcy shares. Her personal journey of recovery became a source of inspiration, not just for herself, but for others as well. As she began to heal, she discovered a newfound sense of confidence and empowerment, which she was eager to share with her clients.
A Journey of Healing and Empowerment
As Marcy continued on her path of self-discovery, she found that her photography business was evolving along with her. “Through a lot of time and effort, those experiences allowed me to step back and speak kinder to myself,” she explains. “It was a blessing to have so many roles and opportunities in my life.”
Her journey of healing and self-love became intertwined with her work at DixieLand Images. “As I progressed through my new role of being a mom and figuring it out, I also started navigating my own health and wellness journey,” Marcy says. This journey inspired her to take a bold step—one that she had always reserved for her
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
“I truly enjoy the challenge of ensuring that each client gets a unique experience that really inspires them to be themselves and show the beauty both on the inside and outside.”
clients. “I allowed myself in front of the lens instead of behind it,” she recalls. “The results were images I am so proud of.”
This experience was transformative for Marcy. It gave her the confidence to embrace her own beauty and worth, something she had struggled with for years. And it also solidified her mission to help others do the same. “Ever since then, I have made it not only my goal but my mission to instill this inspiration, confidence, and self-love onto others,” she says.
For Marcy, the biggest reward is seeing the impact her photography has on her clients. “The biggest reward is having fun with my clients through my sessions, allowing them to be creatively themselves and showing them a fresh perspective on who they truly are—someone who is both confident and beautiful. Someone who is worthy of everything good in life.”
Small-Town Beginnings and A Love for the Arts
14 years old, was on a dairy farm—a humble beginning that instilled in her a strong work ethic and an appreciation for hard work.
Marcy’s love for photography can be traced back to her early years, growing up in a small town where life was simple, yet filled with creativity. “I grew up enjoying small-town life and all that comes with it,” she recalls. Her first job, at just
began in high school, before the digital age,” she says. “My first camera was a Canon Rebel 35mm!” It was during this time that Marcy learned how to develop her own film and create prints in a darkroom—an experience
that she fondly remembers as a major turning point in her creative journey. “I loved it so much, I would play dress-up with my younger sister and cousin, turning them into ‘models’ and photographing them,” Marcy recalls. “This was probably the start of DixieLand Images, even if I didn’t realize it until years later.” Those early experiences of experimenting with photography laid the foundation for the successful business she would go on to build.
Inspiration from Clients and Family
While Marcy has always been inspired by her love for photography, she credits her clients and her son as two of her biggest sources of inspiration. “It’s very cliché of me to say, but the honest answer is my clients are one of my biggest inspirations,” she admits. “I truly enjoy the challenge of ensuring that each client gets a unique experience that really inspires them to be themselves and show the beauty both on the inside and outside.”
Marcy’s son is also a constant source of motivation and creativity. “He has such a creative mind and is always thinking and asking questions, cultivating curiosity,” she says. Watching him grow and explore the world around him has inspired Marcy to think outside the box in her work. “I try to instill that same curiosity within my clients,
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
“My favorite part of what I do is getting to meet so many people and hear so many extraordinary stories”
Moments that Matter: Client Stories
For Marcy, one of the most rewarding aspects of her work is getting to meet and connect with so many different people. “My favorite part of what I do is getting to meet so many people and hear so many extraordinary stories,” she shares. Each client brings a unique perspective, and Marcy treasures the opportunity to capture their special moments.
One story that stands out to her is
most ‘beautiful woman in the world’ and he wanted her to recognize that about herself,” Marcy recalls. Moments like these remind her of why she does what she does—to help people see themselves as the beautiful, confident individuals they are.
Marcy also loves working with clients who want to get creative with their photoshoots. One recent session, in particular, stands out in her mind. “I worked with a client who wanted to do a 1950s pin-up shoot,” she says. “I
fun props, and creative outfits. “I even got a black eye trying to move some of the heavier furniture to get the shot just right!” Marcy laughs.
The shoot ended with the client in tears—but not for the reasons Marcy initially feared. “I asked if she was okay, and she immediately laughed and said the photos were amazing and captured her true personality.”
That reaction is exactly what Marcy strives for in every session—to help her clients see their true selves and
{
“I love what I do, and sometimes it’s hard to slow down a little bit to also cherish my life moments with family and friends.”
feel confident in their beauty.
Challenges and Growth: Balancing Business and Life
Building and growing DixieLand Images hasn’t been without its challenges. Like many entrepreneurs, Marcy has struggled with balancing her personal life and business. “The biggest challenge I have faced is
balancing business and my personal life,” she admits. “I love what I do, and sometimes it’s hard to slow down a little bit to also cherish my life moments with family and friends.”
To maintain balance, Marcy has worked hard to set boundaries for herself, both personally and professionally. “I make myself a schedule every week and set business hours for clients,” she
says. This allows her to dedicate time to both her business and her family, ensuring that neither is neglected.
Through this process, Marcy has learned the importance of setting boundaries and taking time for herself. “Being able to create a schedule and establish
Dan, tell us a little bit about yourself and your background. How did you get started in modeling?
Interesting thing with that one. I have this picture of a prominent model type going through some pageantry phase as a child, somehow forced by the parents, and then as they physically grow older, continuing to hone their craft. My experience was much different. I never even considered it until I was 30. I always saw myself as someone who didn’t have any intention of being defined by my physical attributes, nor seeing myself as being capable of appreciating that part of me.
The idea was recommended to me at the gym by a new friend, Mijah Young. He had some experience, encouraged me to get some test photos, and as uncomfortably as I could say “yes”, I did. At the time I honestly saw it as a fun opportunity to put on nice clothes and make an extra buck. As my time in the industry progressed, I saw the evolution objectively, and that process has been interesting and at times, tricky. I’m naturally creative, and this modeling hat has allowed me to work on some really cool projects.
DAN RYAN
that comes a lot of scrutiny from peers and from within the business itself. I think modeling should always be fun, and once it’s not, I think that’s a good indication to take a closer look at why that emotion is present and then ask myself if it’s the healthiest outlet for me right now. Currently, I’m enjoying it very much. I have since taken acting classes, auditioning for roles in films and TV shows, and continue to push the needle towards new and exciting opportunities. My goal in this space has definitely shifted
the image of ourselves. The mind/body connection is extremely important to me. Our mindset is the driving force behind everything in our current reality. With that comes a healthy construct of how we view ourselves.
How we view ourselves will be a direct reflection of how God and the universe respond. If we’re vibrating on low frequencies such as guilt or shame, we tend to receive more of the same. If we’re vibrating on the higher frequencies of love and gratitude then that enables us to create whatever reality we imagine in our minds. The thought comes from the mind, the emotion comes from the body, and when those two are aligned, you can create your future reality from your current, present state of being.
to a more “actor-focused” point of view. I’ve gotten a chance to really appreciate both sides of the lens too. Moving forward, a prominent role as either a lead or supporting actor in a film would be really special.
With that being said, I’ve always tried to remind myself that the physical side of us as humans is the least important. In the grand scheme of things, personality should win out every time. Unfortunately, we live in a very image-focused society, and with
You’re a published model, but you’re also heavily involved in the mind, body, and wellness industry. How do you integrate these two fields together in your work? Right, so going back to the last question for a minute to retouch on
The mind is so objective, that it doesn’t know the difference between your actual reality versus the one you’re mentally rehearsing in your mind. When those two parts of yourself fall into brain and heart coherence, weird synchronicities start happening in your life. Those moments are breadcrumbs from the divine telling you that you’re on the right path. If that state of being is sustained over time, suddenly your future reality starts showing up in unexpected ways. There’s so much more to this and I go into it in more detail with my clients but this isn’t light dinner conversation. This information is more easily digested
PHOTOS BY SAAD EL-AMIN, CHRIS MENDOZA.PHOTOGRAPHY & NICK COOPER
{ THE INFLUENTIAL MAN }
“When the doors of opportunity are left open, the world opens up in unexpected and beautiful ways. “
(no pun intended) in our sessions over time.
What are some challenges you’ve faced in balancing your modeling career with your commitment to wellness?
I think the biggest challenge is to keep myself both physically and mentally in alignment. I don’t always want to go to the gym, and I don’t always want to eat well, but at the end of the day, I know it’s the best thing for me. Going back to the challenges that come with modeling and maintaining a healthy image of self does require work. Often it can feel like my body and mind are two separate things, and both need to be treated equally well. I’ve been involved in this work for long enough for me to recognize the challenges that I face intellectually, but often making the change itself is where the real discomfort lies. Through my work, I teach myself and others how to break certain habits and replace them with healthier ones. The hardest thing about change is not making the same choices we did the day before. I think being kind to myself is the best thing for me to do. I can eat pizza and donuts when I give myself permission, and I try to do that often ahaha. I don’t always want to work out and when my body says it’s tired, I try to listen to it and give it rest. I’m naturally active so the challenge then becomes surrendering to my body even though my mind tells me to go to the gym. Overall, I feel best when I’m present and honest with what I want.
Tell us about your journey to becoming a cofounder of AeroPlasma. What inspired you to start this business?
This journey kicked off two and a half years ago when I discovered a product that harnesses the plasma from the air and applies a synergistic approach using UV photons, light, electric fields, reactive oxygen, and nitrogen species, radicals, and ionization to destroy any harmful pathogen including viruses, bacteria, mold, allergens, smoke particles, and odors from the air. The complexity on the technical side is pretty advanced and I can certainly appreciate it. What I value more is what the application is doing to improve the betterment of society, and how businesses can provide a safer, cleaner, and more sustainable environment for themselves, their coworkers, and guests.
We’re constantly finding new ways to help our customers save money with one of the most impressive products on the market. I don’t say that from an air purification perspective either, I think it’s one of the most impressive and valuable products on the market, period. We also don’t require filters or maintenance. I took this concept to my two Swedish partners and we founded the company. My partner, Robert built a fairly successful water treatment company and we decided that clean air was the way of the future. The way it all unfolded was by pure coincidence. I was looking for a completely unrelated product during Covid before AeroPlasma found me... It’s funny how that works sometimes.
When the doors of opportunity are left open, the world opens up in unexpected and beautiful ways.
What is the mission behind AeroPlasma, and how does it differ from other wellness or health-focused businesses?
The mission is to help people. The mission has always been to help people by providing the most optimal air quality. I think when the foundation of a business is rooted in service to others, everything changes. I had an intentional shift from service to self to service to others right before I cofounded AeroPlasma and ever since it’s been extremely rewarding.
How did you become a health coach, and what does that role involve? What do you find most rewarding about coaching?
I became a health coach when my mom became one. I was approaching my entrepreneurial journey and my mom had just retired. She didn’t want to be fully done with “work” so when I investigated the program she enrolled in, I decided to do the same thing. I also felt like I was putting a lot of attention on myself without offering the same resources to others, and I wanted to change that. What I offer is a 12-week journey of selfdiscovery and habit change. 95% of our lives are an automatic set of routine programs by the time we’re 35 years old. That doesn’t leave a lot of room for new ways of thinking, which leads to the same emotions and ultimately the same experiences. Because of that, we tend to repeat the
{ THE INFLUENTIAL MAN }
“Through my work, I teach myself and others how to break certain habits and replace them with healthier ones.”
same thoughts as the day before, and before you know it, this cycle of the same thoughts, feelings, and behaviors has us trapped on a hamster wheel called our life. The majority of that life is also unconscious. Many people would rather live a life they don’t even like because at least they can predict it. By staying in the predictable future you remain in your comfort zone and when nothing changes, nothing changes. What I do is narrow in on some of the behaviors that someone wants to change, slowly shift certain thoughts to more loving ones, and by the end of the 12 weeks, you can have a completely different outlook on life.
What are some of the key wellness practices you advocate for, and how do you incorporate them into your daily life?
I’m a huge proponent of meditation, journaling, positive self-talk, exercising regularly, eating well, and talking fairly regularly with my coach. I think having a coach for myself keeps me grounded, accountable, and aware of any blind spots I might be missing. I carry out meditation and journaling first thing in the morning because when you wake up, the brain is in between two worlds, and the subconscious is easier to access.
Tell us about one of your favorite projects that you’ve worked on in your modeling career. What made it stand out for you?
I did a marketing campaign at a winery as a wedding venue and played the role of the groom for the day.
Between my partner for the shoot, the venue itself, the production, and the weather, it was just an awesome day. It was still my shortest relationship… hahaha… Another one that stood out was a commercial for an investment banking app. I played the role of the dad and from an actor’s perspective, it was one of my most enjoyable and challenging shoots. I played the role through different time periods and it turned out great. I’ll also give a shoutout to John Myers at Myers Creative in Rochester because they’re one of the best production companies in the business. We have such a fun time on set and he and his team operate like a well-oiled machine.
How do you stay motivated and maintain a healthy lifestyle amidst a busy modeling and business schedule? I love what I do. I know the expression “if you love what you do you’ll never work a day in your life”. I know it’s cliché but I truly believe that. I think I get lost in the work sometimes and as long as I’m present with the feeling of making a difference, I’m happy. If I’m stressing out about some future outcome, I know it’s time to rest, reset, and return more grounded.
What advice would you give to someone looking to pursue a career in modeling while also maintaining a focus on health and wellness? Believe in yourself and do it because you enjoy it. I would give the same advice for health and wellness. Do it because your body craves exercise and good quality food. Also, feed your mind with the same intention
as you would have with your body. You deserve to be completely healthy in all aspects of life.
As a cofounder and a model, you wear many hats. How do you manage your time and responsibilities between your various roles?
I’m not really sure… hahaha… I’m still figuring that one out. The one thing I’ve noticed since becoming an entrepreneur is that there is no timecard to punch out with. I always feel like I’ve got to be “on” in one capacity or another. With that said part of my work is to relax in the present moment and mindfully enjoy that for what it is. Staying clear of the past and the future and settling into the generous present is what I live for. I will say this… I’ve made the most progress when I’ve relaxed and allowed things to come to me, instead of chasing, grabbing, manipulating, or trying to change an outcome. If I stay focused on the now, somehow everything else figures itself out.
Can you discuss any upcoming projects or collaborations you’re excited about, either in modeling or in the wellness industry?
The interesting and more challenging parts of being an entrepreneur are getting comfortable in the unknown and releasing any need to predict a future scenario. I can create in my mind the perfect life and have that life, but how and when I get there is not up to me. I prefer to leave that with God. I guess that’s the mindset I respond with regarding future projects or collaborations.
{ THE INFLUENTIAL MAN }
“Our mindset is the driving force behind everything in our current reality. With that comes a healthy construct of how we view ourselves.”
What has been the most rewarding aspect of your career so far, whether in modeling, health coaching, or business?
Most definitely having my mission under the umbrella of helping other people. Whether it be with optimal air quality, a new way of thinking that opens new doors, or just sharing a kind word with a stranger is the most fulfilling. I think it’s natural to be self-absorbed. It’s a self-preservation method that we acquired thousands of years ago. But by taking that wall down and showing vulnerability, somehow I feel safer after doing that, not the opposite. Being a beacon of light for myself and for others is the best thing I can do both in my professional and personal life.
Who are some of your biggest influences or mentors in both modeling and wellness?
I’ll shift the response to acting instead of modeling. I think Tom Hanks is brilliant. His body of work speaks for itself and his dramatic performances are right up my alley. As far as wellness is concerned, I would say Dr. Joe Dispenza. He is a master of communicating the way our mind and body work from a scientific standpoint, and how to make changes before crisis hits. Typically we wait for disease, diagnosis, or crisis to change ourselves, but his message is “Why wait?” You can create the life you desire right now.
How do you see the relationship between physical appearance and overall wellness, and how do you address this in your work?
I think we naturally look and feel better when we eat whole foods, get a healthy balance of macronutrients, and exercise. The formula hasn’t changed but the amount of “foodlike” products has skyrocketed over the last 50 years. This has led to an incredible amount of disease, a hyperinflated healthcare system, and a lot of misinformation spread across the food industry. With that being said, in my work, I try to keep things simple. I address the diet and the amount of exercise, but more importantly, I address the habits surrounding those things that keep people stuck. Small, incremental changes over time can be fun and sustainable. If you try to take on too much too quickly, most revert to old habits due to overwhelm.
What message do you hope to convey to others about the importance of integrating mind, body, and wellness in their lives?
It’s never too late and your entire being deserves equal treatment. With mental health being such a devastatingly stigmatized issue in this country, I love the idea of being a part of helping someone find resolve despite the discomfort. Ultimately, being a part of the solution to removing the stigma so we don’t feel so uncomfortable talking about what’s going on in our heads and hearts. We all deserve that time and attention. We’ll get there together.
Looking ahead, what are your future goals or aspirations, both professionally and personally?
I love the idea of having a wife and
kids someday. I think I’d be a good husband and father. I feel like I’ve sort of put that on the back burner for right now while I’m focused on the businesses. I would like to feel the security of those ventures first so that I can go into the relationship with a more hands-off approach on the business end and more of a teamwork mentality on the relationship side. Another part of me thinks I should leave the door open for everything to happen all at once and understand that the right one will appreciate the timing regardless of the timeline I have in my mind. I would also like to move to New York City for a while. That has been on my radar for a while and I feel like that move will be in the near future. I love the opportunities New York offers to meet new and exciting people, both personally and professionally. The air quality is horrible too and I’d like to be a solution for the city. Aside from that, I’d like to keep evolving myself from who I was yesterday. I feel like personal development is one of the most important things we can ever do for ourselves, and if I can help others do the same, maybe the world will shine a little brighter. Perhaps the world could sleep at night knowing they helped someone love themself more. If we all contributed to that the world would become a more beautiful version of itself.
“I always saw myself as someone who didn’t have any intention of being defined by my physical attributes, nor seeing myself as being capable of appreciating that part of me.”
RAEANNE LACATENA
As a holistic business, life, and success coach, what inspired you to pursue this path and integrate holistic practices into your work?
Holistic practices have always been my preference, both personally and professionally, even very early on in my life. However, I didn’t come to fully understand this about myself until much later in my career. For example, when it comes to my own personal health, I like to explore the root cause of any illnesses and always tend to start with the most natural approach to healing. Whenever possible I like to look at what I can change in my diet and nutrition, exercise and stress levels, sleep, and relationships before I look to traditional western medicine for the answer. I believe that all of these elements affect success in productivity and business across-theboard. If we are not sleeping well, we tend not to be able to make decisions as effectively or have the same energy levels to power our business. In many ways, we are just one human being having lots of different experiences that intertwine to create the beautiful puzzle that is our personal and professional lives. When we understand that principle, we can recognize that business is a brilliantly disguised personal development plan and then begin prioritizing our internal wellness to create external results.
their brain and body, which so deeply impacts their business. When they can clearly grasp, for example, how their brain chemistry is impacting their visibility, productivity, procrastination, sleep habits, discipline, and commitment, that deepening level of awareness helps them to understand the importance of working out internal brain and body pattern shifts to create a new experience of their life and business. With that said, there is a difference between counseling
counselor can be an incredible gift for a business owner in those circumstances.
Can you share some of the unique self-care toolkits you help your clients develop, and why these are essential for personal and professional growth?
How does your experience as a licensed counselor for nearly 20 years influence your approach to coaching?
My experience as a licensed counselor heavily influences my holistic coaching practice, especially because I tend to rely on evidence-based practices, neuroscience and research to help the high-level entrepreneurs that I work with understand what is going on in
and coaching and when we get into the territory of trauma, acute grief or persistent mental health needs, I always work in conjunction with a therapist to help support the business owners that I serve. While mindset and mental health are very clearly connected, there are certainly instances where the expertise of a trained mental health therapist specifically supporting an individual is in the best interest of that person, and the collaboration with a coach and a
During my career, both as a licensed mental health therapist, professional coach, and a reiki master, I have pulled together a mindset, behavior modification and energy management framework called STEAR Clear and Anchor which is a culmination of some of the most effective tools to help manage our internal world and our external results. “STEAR” is an acronym that stands for situations, thoughts, emotions, actions and results. To use the framework, for both professional and personal circumstances, you begin by doing a “brain dump” or a free association journaling exercise, where you get all of the details of whatever circumstance you are currently going through out of your brain onto paper. That exercise of externalizing whatever you are going through onto paper is a powerful first step to begin a more productive, positive, efficient and effective experience with whatever you are going through in the moment. The next step is to write out all of the thoughts, emotions, actions, and results that could come from continuing down the negative loop that you might be experiencing juxtaposed to some more positive, productive and helpful ways that you could respond instead, like in the graphic below:
Then, throughout our work, I teach the business owners that I serve a variety of self-care tools that will allow them to clear whatever no longer serves them and anchor the new beliefs and patterns that
{
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“How are we going to build community and collaboration? How are we going to have fun and live in our passion and purpose? When we pay attention to both sides of this coin we are far more likely to be successful in whatever business we create.”
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
they choose to carry into this experience moving forward. If you would like to read more about this framework that I’ve developed, I share in more detail in a free e-book that was in a book endorsed by Tony Robbins, which you can download at the link below: raeannelacatena.com/ebook
You emphasize eliminating obstacles to reach one’s full potential. What are some common obstacles you see, and how do you help clients overcome them? As you can probably already tell by what I’ve shared so far in this interview, the most common obstacle for business owners who are looking to grow into the next level of their business is: themselves. It is very important not to underestimate just how detrimental limiting beliefs, a negative mindset, thoughts based in scarcity, imposter syndrome, people pleasing and a whole litany of other possible self negating prophecies impact the success of our business and life in general. It is critically important to manage what is happening in between our ears, by finding whatever mindset work supports you in overcoming those limiting beliefs. Take, for example, the very common obstacle reported by business owners that they don’t have enough time to get everything done.
The truth is we all have the same 24 hours. When we believe that we don’t have enough time to get something done, that stems from a belief. Instead of jumping to whatever time management system is popular at the moment, we first need to get to the bottom of why we believe that our time is different from everyone else’s on the planet. We need to understand why we feel scarcity around time, what our true priorities are, and
what might be a different set of beliefs that would support us having enough time! When we begin with that work, we can get to the root and the heart of the matter and create a new plan for our time that is more respectful of reality, and more in alignment with what we are looking to accomplish. My experience of working with business owners has shown me time and time again, that it all comes back to our internal world, whether it be stories about money, other people, the economy, or whatever else the business owner feels like they are up against at the moment. I find it incredibly empowering to know that there is a choice in how we respond to whatever we are facing, instead of feeling like we are victims to circumstances.
Your coaching focuses on crafting practical action plans. What are the key elements of an effective action plan that drives both personal and professional growth?
In the spirit of internal growth to create external results, the business plans that I help my entrepreneurs to create, include both masculine and feminine elements in business. The masculine is the strategic, momentum, action based key performance tasks, revenue drivers, and accountability features that are absolutely necessary to create a successful business. Then, we take the extra step to factor in the feminine elements of the business, for example, what are we going to do to manage our internal world? How are we going to build community and collaboration? How are we going to have fun and live in our passion and purpose? When we pay attention to both sides of this coin we are far more likely to be successful in whatever business we create. It is not
uncommon for my business owners to have plans that incorporate their six and seven figure business goals, prospecting targets, marketing endeavors, and trackable attention to their CEO level thought work exercises like the use of STEAR Clear and Anchor, as well as some physical health targets, such as exercise or weight loss goals. Remember, we are one human being, having lots of experiences! Our business plan is really a personal development plan. When we can respect that reality the more successful, healthy, wealthy and happy we will become now and in the future.
What are the core differences between the entrepreneurial mindset and the employee mindset, and how can they complement each other?
First, it is important to say that there is no wrong mindset, and neither one is better than the other. Variety is a spice of life and we all need each other to be successful in this experience of life and business! Business owners would not be successful without employees and employees would not be successful without business owners!
That said, the employee mindset tends to prefer consistency, structure, and reliable predictability in their experience of their work. They would much rather know exactly how they’re going to be paid and when they’re going to be paid, for example, then to take on a risky commission based pay structure. The employee mindset wants to support someone else’s vision, doesn’t often crave building something from the ground up or desire to have their name on the door, but instead prefers to create impact in collaborating to make someone else’s mission come to life.
{ INFLUENTIAL WOMAN }
“In the spirit of internal growth to create external results, the business plans that I help my entrepreneurs to create, include both masculine and feminine elements in business.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Those preferences will not be supported in the entrepreneurial environment and landscape.
In contrast, the entrepreneurial mindset often feels completely stifled by structure and predictability. They prefer creation, freedom, flexibility and the ability to chase their dreams, no matter the risk and at all costs. They relish in the ebbs and flows of business ownership, and use these fluctuations to motivate instead of panic. They don’t like other people telling them what to do, and instead prefer to create their own unique path or solution to a problem. They tend to have lots of ideas, and often need help from more employee minded individuals to keep focused, grounded, and attentive to bring those dreams to reality. To thrive as an entrepreneur, you must steward that mindset and shift into those belief systems, unless you tend to land there naturally.
Can you give us a sneak peek into your upcoming solo book launch in September? What inspired the book, and what key themes can readers expect? Absolutely! The Integrated Entrepreneur: Actualize Your Potential and Fulfill Your Purpose comes out on September 30th! I am beyond thrilled to bring this book into the world. I started writing the book on International Women’s Day in March 2022, as a way to answer the call to bring my work into the world more fully, and after I had been urged to do so for many years by many different people. What started as a way to bring my framework STEAR Clear and Anchor to as many people as possible, became much more than I had ever anticipated. In the book, I share personal stories of my own and stories from my client
interactions to illustrate a series of guiding principles to help entrepreneurs be as happy, healthy, and wealthy as possible. Throughout the book, I offer concrete and easily implementable action steps that anyone can use immediately to help grow personally and professionally. While I do ultimately end up sharing the framework in more detail, I take the readers on an unexpected journey to uncover their own limiting beliefs, and then they leave the book armored with the tools to create an abundant, successful and aligned life and business.
How was your experience contributing to Jim Britt’s “Cracking the Rich Code”? What distinctive approach did you bring to conquering fear and doubt?
I was actually well into writing The Integrated Entrepreneur when Jim Britt reached out to me on LinkedIn to invite me into his international bestselling series. We had a coffee chat to get to know one another, and I was surprised to learn that he was Tony Robbins’ former coach, as well as a revered speaker, author and publisher. Jim was so excited about what I was doing with the STEAR Clear and Anchor framework, that he said it needed to be in the hands of as many people as possible and invited me into the co-authored series to write a featured chapter in the next book. Even though I was heavily into writing my own book, I received the honor of that invitation and took a short break to participate in the book and share my framework with the Cracking the Rich Code audience to overcome fear and doubt, as well as any other barriers that come up in their business building process. I am happy to report that the 20 other thought leaders in the book and I created yet another international bestseller in Edition 12
of this series.
What are some of the biggest challenges you see entrepreneurs facing today, and how do you guide them in conquering those challenges?
In the fast paced world of social media and artificial intelligence, one of the biggest challenges that I see entrepreneurs of today face is visibility. It can feel difficult at times to stand out in an oversaturated crowd, with all of the algorithms seemingly plotting against you, AI churning out content at unmanageable rates, not to mention all of the fears and limiting beliefs that come with being seen, being noticed, being validated and being visible. Too many entrepreneurs fall prey to these barriers and never get started in the process of building their business, and therefore become either the best kept secret or worse yet never succeed at bringing their business to market. As you can already expect, there is a whole host of limiting beliefs and negative internal dialogues that are driving these perceived challenges. It is important to say that in the moment when we are feeling visibility fears, they feel incredibly real. As a natural introvert myself, and a licensed therapist who was trained to protect privacy at all costs, as well as a natural private person, it was well out of my comfort zone to lean into being seen. At times these fears can feel incredibly painful and scary, and they feel in no means perceived in the moment. However, that is the power and the beauty of mindset work. I can also happily report that by using the tools that I outlined in The Integrated Entrepreneur, I have personally been able to overcome some of my greatest trauma and fears of visibility through implementing much of what is taught
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“ It is very important not to underestimate just how detrimental limiting beliefs, a negative mindset, thoughts based in scarcity, imposter syndrome, people pleasing and a whole litany of other possible self negating prophecies impact the success of our business and life in general.”
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
throughout its pages. The first step is awareness, so that you can begin to steward what you become aware of and decide to make a different story about how you approach your life and business. For me, my fears of visibility no longer outweighed my desire to make a difference in the world. My passion to help as many entrepreneurs as possible became stronger than the desire to shrink, the fear of making other people unhappy, or the belief that I wasn’t good enough. I believe that entrepreneurs are the changemakers, the difference makers, the rule breakers, and the creative thinkers that are going to be the solution to solve the dire state of the planet. I decided that bringing this work to as many people as possible was far more important than my own visibility fears, and that began the path of overcoming them. It is certainly not always easy, and there is true discomfort that often feels painful in the process of overcoming those fears. However, the gifts that come along with overcoming those fears are far greater than any pain or discomfort I had experienced in the past. This work, works. I invite you to do the work!
You talk about helping individuals and groups become the best versions of themselves. How do you balance coaching in both personal and professional arenas?
As I have previously alluded, I believe that professional and personal are so intricately connected that if we treat them as one thing instead of trying to compartmentalize them into many fractured states we are far more successful. This is truly what it means to be an Integrated Entrepreneur. We don’t start our day as an individual, then transition
into being a parent or partner, then become a coworker or a boss, to then transition back to being an individual. When we honor ourselves as one whole human, borrow the clues of success that live inside of us at all times, we are far more likely to create harmony between the professional and personal realms that make up who we are at any given moment of our interconnected lives.
In your upcoming book, you focus on actualizing potential through business growth. Can you explain the connection between personal growth and business success?
As I mentioned, business is a brilliantly disguised personal development plan. The more inner work we do the more outer results we can enjoy! Just like everything else in life and business, it is all connected. We are all connected. The more we can integrate all of who we are into all of what we do, the more we can understand ourselves internally, the more we can practice how to be the greatest expression of who we choose to be, the more likely we will be successful in all the realms of our life: relationships, finances, fitness, friendships, fun, and everything else whether personal or professional!
How do you help clients identify and tap into their authentic selves, especially in a fast-paced, multi-role world?
In order to truly identify who you authentically are as an individual and/or business owner, it’s critically important to begin by going inward to get in touch with who you are internally. Despite what so many of the coaches, “gurus” or programs out there will tell you, this is truly an inside job. While there are so many assessments out there in the world
available, such as the DISC, KOLBE, or even my Entrepreneur Energy Archetype Quiz, which can be useful to point us in the right direction, they can also confirm biases we hold about ourselves. Unless we understand what patterns in our personality we choose to embrace and those that are limiting us, we run the risk of letting that confirmation bias become a part of our limiting story and therefore limiting behaviors. Instead, doing the introspection, critical thinking, investigation, timeline work and frankly holding up a mirror to ourselves to really explore who we are being, who we choose to be, what’s working and what’s no longer working for us, we will continue to fall into patterns that are unsupportive of our higher mission, vision, values and what we choose to evolve into now and in the future.
While we can use assessments, programs and other people’s recommendations about how to know our authentic selves as tools, we want to pay extra attention to decide who we are, who we choose to be and what is important to us before allowing other people’s opinions or some standardized equation to become our story.
We need to do the inner work to get the outer results in life and business.
What role does mindset play in achieving success, and how do you work with clients to cultivate a growthoriented mindset?
Ultimately, everything comes back to mindset. If we carry a mindset about money that is scarcity driven, fear-based, or riddled with lack and not-enoughness, that is what our brains will search for to prove that we are right. There is a
{ INFLUENTIAL WOMAN }
“With that said, there is a difference between counseling and coaching and when we get into the territory of trauma, acute grief or persistent mental health needs, I always work in conjunction with a therapist to help support the business owners that I serve.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
mechanism called the Reticular Activating System in the brain which essentially filters in the information we are asking the brain to recognize for us, instead of overwhelming our brains and bodies with the billions of bits of information that are happening in our environment at any given moment. So, if we are repeatedly telling ourselves we don’t have enough, we aren’t good enough, we don’t deserve more, nothing is going to get better, etc.; the brain will look to provide proof to support your truth. Conversely, if we carry a mindset of abundance, where we confidently trust that money is plentiful, that we are deserving of all the wealth and riches in life and business, and that growth, change and a vibrant, happy life is available to us now, the brain and the universe will provide. This is true for relationships, finances, parenting, business building, and every other aspect of our lives personally and professionally. In essence, what we focus on expands. And so I strongly urge you to choose wisely what you are focusing on!
The first step in developing an abundance and growth mindset is to be aware of how you are thinking, feeling and behaving now, and the gap between where you are now and where you choose to be down the line.
There are a series of exercises that I offer in The Integrated Entrepreneur, as well as some additional free resources in a downloadable workbook that comes with the book that can help you get in touch with your inner world and mindset more fully, more deeply and more productively.
How do you define success, both for yourself and for your clients? Has your
definition evolved over the years? Success is a very personalized definition, and just like anything else in our life and business, we get to decide what it means to be successful. I personally feel that success encompasses all the different realms of our lives, personally and professionally. To me, to be successful means to enjoy the wealth and riches that come from financial freedom, relationship confidence and trust, joy and adventure, new experiences and inner peace, as well as physical, emotional, mental and relational health and vitality. It is enjoying life to the fullest, in all ways possible. And it all comes back to how loving we are being to ourselves and those around us. Early in my life, I thought success meant either winning or losing, advancing or failing, growing or shrinking at opportunities that come into our lives. I now understand that even in a loss, a failure or a decision to move away from something that we originally thought was a good fit are all embedded with lessons, opportunities for growth and self-discovery and some of the most rich experiences with life in general. Success is not a straight line, and it doesn’t always come in the ways we expect. It really comes from how we choose to respond in the moment, and whether we can choose to be our higher self and most loving version of ourselves moment to moment, day after day.
What advice would you give to someone who feels overwhelmed by juggling multiple roles in their life and business? Instead of considering yourself to have multiple roles in your life and business, can you consider that you are one human being having lots of experiences? When we remember that we are whole and complete, and that we don’t need to
compartmentalize all of the realms of our lives into different categories, or perhaps behave differently in different arenas of our lives, there comes a simplicity on the other side of what was once complex. Instead of trying to be a parent in one way, a partner in another, a business owner over here and an individual in other ways, we just get to be one human being. That grounded approach is what it truly means to be an Integrated Entrepreneur. When we bring all of the parts of ourselves together into focus, we can behave the same in all areas of our lives, have the same values, the same mission and the same priorities no matter what we are faced with in the moment. This interconnectedness of ourself allows us to make more efficient and effective decisions, create more aligned boundaries and live a more grounded experience of our life and business.
What do you believe are the most important qualities a holistic business and mindset coach should possess to truly help clients succeed?
I believe that first and foremost, the most important quality of a holistic business and mindset coach to possess is integrity. When someone is there to help guide you in the right direction, to support you and advise you, one would hope that at minimum they are practicing what they teach. You would want to feel certain and confident that your coach is authentically in alignment and living the principles that they recommend. This doesn’t mean that your coach won’t struggle personally or professionally at times, as no human being is perfect, instead - it means to suggest that they respond to whatever life throws their way with the integrity to behave in alignment and total commitment to
“ HOLISTIC PRACTICES have always been my preference,
both personally
and
PROFESSIONALLY,
even very early on in my life. However, I didn’t come to fully understand this about myself until much later in MY CAREER.
““STEAR” is an acronym that stands for situations, thoughts, emotions, actions and results.”
} YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
what they believe, what they teach and what they are asking you to do as their mentee. While experience in the field is preferable, and a proven track record of great testimonials and proof of concept are added features I tend to explore when searching for a coach, there is no greater testament to whether the coach is a right fit for you than how they make you feel when you are in their presence. Do you feel empowered? Confident? Cared for and supported? Do you believe that they can take you to the next level? Have they been to places and accomplished features in their business that you look to create as well? Let your coach show you that they’ve been where you are and that they have enough belief in themselves and your innate potential to take you to new heights.
Who has influenced or inspired your work as a coach, and how have they shaped your approach?
I have such a long list of influences, ranging from my strong background in the mental health field straight through the coaching profession, and include past and present clients and even personal relationships. I continue to rely heavily on the great mental health teachers and philosophers, the great thinkers and researchers before me and have created a patchwork quilt of these great teachings to offer as a buffet of options for my clients to find what works for them. Some of the greatest influences and teachers are those that I have served in the past, as they have co-created their businesses with me and I am so grateful to each and every one of them for sharing their lives and businesses with me, and this also applies to the mental health clients that I’ve worked with in the past as well.
Impact is a two way street. While I’m so honored to have served so many people over the years of my career, each of those people have also had an impact on me in many different ways.
My greatest spiritual teachers are without a shadow of a doubt my 3 little children, who are 7, 5 and 2 years old. They remind me daily of what’s important, they keep life in perspective, they are there to show me how to have fun, to create joy, to rely on structure and routine, while balancing in pockets of spontaneity and adventure. They are my mission, my why and my primary motivation for all that I do, and all that I am.
As you prepare for your book launch, what are your goals for your readers, and how do you hope your book will impact their lives and businesses? I’m so excited and grateful to be on the precipice of bringing The Integrated Entrepreneur into the world. I am hopeful that the readers gain perspective, inspiration and motivation, as well as a toolkit of concrete ways to step into their potential and to fulfill their purpose. This book contains so many different stories, both from my own personal experiences and the lives of the client’s I’ve served, in an effort to help entrepreneurs understand some important principles and concepts during their journey of integrating and creating harmony in their own personal and professional lives. The book is packed with easily implementable action steps to help them through their own selfdiscovery and self-actualization path. I invite you to download the book for only $.99 on September 30th and start your own personal path to becoming
an Integrated Entrepreneur!
Below you can read a few reviews of the book to illustrate more about the impact it is already creating:
“The Integrated Entrepreneur is a transformative guide that empowers readers to unlock their full potential and fulfill their life’s purpose. This book not only equips entrepreneurs with essential skills but also inspires a profound shift towards personal and professional harmony. Ideal for any entrepreneur seeking to thrive in today’s ever-changing business environment.” -Jim Britt-15X #1 international bestselling author/professional speaker/ life strategist
“The Integrated Entrepreneur isn’t just another business guide—it’s a heartopening, truly transformational journey that every entrepreneur must experience.”
– Amy White, Senior Editor of The White Editorial
“Wow! Where was this book 20 years ago? The Integrated Entrepreneur is a must-read for any entrepreneur ready to break through and build a business aligned with their true self.”
– Baz Porter, CEO, best-selling author and podcast host
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
MEET OUR LITTLEST WARRIORS… MICROPREEMIES.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
BY JOANNE RYAN
At Ronald McDonald House Charities (RMHCR) our primary focus is to support families while their critically ill or injured child receives state-of-theart pediatric care. The family of any child in care through age 21 can find a home away from home at RMHCR. We support families while their child is hospitalized for any diagnosis, for as long and as often as they need. Because we know the power of being close and we know that when you have a sick child you also have a sick family.
We wrap our arms around each family, supporting their unique journey. XXX % of the families in our care because their child is born prematurely, some so early that they are called micropreemies. A micropreemie is a very small newborn typically born many months prematurely. These infants often weigh less than 750 grams and are less than 26 weeks gestation. Micropreemies typically have a very low birth weight and face long stays in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). Although many extremely premature babies grow up with no long-term effects of their premature birth, some face severe health problems throughout life. Here’s what expecting parents should know about micropreemies and extreme prematurity.
Preemies vs. Micropreemies
Any baby who is born before 37 weeks gestation is considered premature (also known as preterm or colloquially as a “preemie”). The World Health Organization (WHO) defines prematurity based on when a baby is born. Babies born before 28 weeks are considered “extremely preterm.” Those born between 28 and 32 weeks are considered “very preterm.” Babies are considered “moderate
preterm” to “late preterm” if they are born between 32 and 37 weeks.2
Part of supporting families is helping them to prepare and process what to expect with a micropreemie in the NICU. They will often be entering a foreign world of sights, sounds and feelings. Our job is to provide a place where they can step away from the bedside to process their experiences, to grab a meal, a shower, or a few hours of sleep.
Thanks to the amazing advances in medical care, survival Rates for Micropreemies continue to improve:
Birth Week Average Survival Rate
22 weeks About 10% of babies survive
23 weeks 50% to 66% of babies survive
24 weeks 66% to 80% of babies survive
25 weeks 75% to 85% of babies survive
26 weeks More than 90% of babies survive
Although micropreemies face serious health problems, there are many things that families can do to give their baby the best possible start:
• Get early prenatal care: When you become pregnant, talk to your healthcare provider about how to minimize your risk of premature birth. Early prenatal care can help you avoid early delivery.
• Deliver your baby in a hospital with a NICU: If you know that your baby will be premature, delivering in a hospital with a level 3 NICU with 24hour neonatology coverage can give your baby the best possible medical support.
• Learn the signs of preterm labor:
While you’re pregnant, make sure that you understand the signs of preterm labor, and seek medical care immediately if you develop any of them.
• Seek early intervention: Babies born early may qualify for state-run early intervention programs. Starting these programs as soon as possible can help minimize any cognitive effects of prematurity. In support of this, we host mothers with a high-risk pregnancy diagnosis at the RMHCR Westmoreland House before they deliver so they can be close to care.
And if a child is born pre-term there are powerful ways to support your baby for the best possible outcomes, including the power of a parent’s touch.
Touch is essential for their survival. Even if parents can’t hold their tiny babies until they’re stable, they can still provide skin-to-skin care once the infants don’t require major support to their organ systems. This practice, known as kangaroo mother care, (KMC) involves holding the baby against the parent’s skin in a special sling or wrap for as many hours as possible. It promotes bonding, warmth, and comfort, which are crucial for micropreemies’ well-being Even if parents can’t hold their baby for long periods initially, any amount of KMC is beneficial.
1. Breast Milk: If possible, providing breast milk is crucial. It contains essential nutrients and antibodies that support the baby’s immune system and overall health. If direct breastfeeding isn’t feasible, pumping and storing breast milk for tube feeding is an excellent option.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“This first of its kind in the RMHC world program focuses on improving the accessibility of telehealth services for medically complex children and their families.”
2. Emotional Support: Being present for their baby, talking to them, and expressing love and encouragement are essential. Parents can also participate in care routines, such as diaper changes and temperature checks, to feel connected.
3. Advocate for Their Baby: Parents should actively communicate with the medical team, ask questions, and understand the baby’s condition and treatment plan. Advocacy ensures that the baby receives the best care possible.
4. Learn About Preemie Care: Understanding preemie-specific needs, such as safe handling, feeding techniques, and developmental milestones, empowers parents to be effective caregivers.
Bonding with a baby in the NICU is essential for their well-being. In addition to KMC, here are some ways parents can create connections:
1. Talk and Sing: Your voice is soothing. Talk softly or sing lullabies to your baby. They recognize familiar sounds.
2. Touch: Gently stroke your baby’s skin. Use your fingers to trace patterns or hold their tiny hands.
3. Read: Reading aloud helps establish familiarity with your voice. Choose simple books or even share your favorite stories.
4. Provide Comfort Items: Leave a soft cloth or small blanket with your scent near your baby. It offers comfort when you’re not there.
5. Learn Their Cues: Observe your baby’s reactions. Are they more alert
at certain times? Respond accordingly.
Every baby is unique, and the NICU journey can be challenging. Seeking emotional support from family, friends, or support groups can make a significant difference.
Involving siblings in bonding with the NICU baby is important for their connection and understanding. Here are some ways to include siblings:
1. Visits: If allowed, bring siblings to visit the NICU. Let them see the baby, touch their tiny hands, and observe the care routines.
2. Photos and Videos: Share photos and videos of the baby with siblings. Talk about the baby’s progress and milestones.
3. Artwork and Letters: Encourage siblings to create drawings or write letters for the baby. Display these in the NICU or near the baby’s incubator.
4. Read Together: Read age-appropriate books about preemies or babies. Siblings can read aloud to the baby during visits.
5. Ask Questions: Involve siblings in discussions about the baby’s condition. Answer their questions honestly and age-appropriately.
Involving siblings helps them feel connected and eases their fears about the NICU experience.
During the NICU stay, we know that parents encounter several challenges. Providing a safe space to be vulnerable, afraid, and even overwhelmed is part of how we support our families through
some of their most uncertain and stressful days. We know they will experience varying degrees of the following:
1. Emotional Rollercoaster: The stress, fear, and uncertainty can be overwhelming. Parents may feel anxious, helpless, or guilty about their baby’s condition.
2. Physical Separation: Being away from their baby due to medical procedures or restrictions can be heartbreaking. Parents miss out on typical bonding experiences.
3. Medical Jargon: Understanding complex medical terms and treatment plans can be challenging. Parents often need explanations and reassurance.
4. Financial Strain: NICU costs can add up quickly. Coping with medical bills and insurance can be stressful.
5. Parental Roles: Balancing NICU visits, work, and other responsibilities can be tough. Some parents struggle with guilt over not being with their baby 24/7.
6. Isolation: NICU stays can be isolating. Connecting with other parents facing similar situations can provide muchneeded support.
At RMHCR we help to reduce the impact of each of the above including reducing the financial burden by providing food, transportation, and lodging with no expense to the family. And the support of other families in our care with the same diagnosis has resulted in many lifelong friendships through the bonding
“Every interaction matters, no matter how brief. Your love and presence make a difference!” {
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
for the child.
We encourage and provide supportive services to promote:
2. Seek Support: Connecting with other parents in similar situations. Sharing experiences and emotions can be comforting. Consider joining NICU support groups or online forums.
3. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques such as Trauma Centered and Trauma Sensitive Yoga:
o Practice deep breathing exercises.
o Try progressive muscle relaxation: Tense and release each muscle group
manage anxiety.
4. Stay Informed: Understand your baby’s condition and treatment plan. Ask questions and seek clarification from the medical team. Knowledge reduces uncertainty.
5. Set Realistic Expectations: Celebrate small victories and progress. Understand that NICU stays are unpredictable, and setbacks happen.
6. Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings. It can be therapeutic and help process emotions.
7. Visualize Positive Outcomes: Imagine your baby growing stronger and healthier. Positive visualization can
8. Limit Exposure to Stressors: Avoid unnecessary stressors. Delegate tasks when possible and focus on what truly matters.
We help families to understand that it is quite normal to feel overwhelmed. We are extenders of their medical team and encourage them to take one day at a time.
Every interaction matters, no matter how brief. Your love and presence make a difference! At RMHCR we know that Minutes Matter and we are there to clear logistical barriers so that every family in our care can maximize every minute supporting their little warriors.
save th save th
A p r i l 1 2 , 2 0 2
R o n a l d M
H o u s e C h a r i t i e
G A
J o s e p h A . R i v e r s i d e C o n v
he date he date
DR. PAMALA BROWNGRINION
What inspired you to start Totally “You”-nique, and how has your vision for the company evolved over the years? The first reason for my passion in this field stemmed from a realization of my own perceived shortcomings. Growing up, everyone around me seemed to have the same skill set I did, but I admired the talents displayed by young girls on my favorite television shows— skills I longed to acquire. My dreams extended beyond my modest beginnings; I aspired to a life that believed was more fulfilling. I was the type of child who constantly sought more, striving to achieve, experience, and be more. I was never satisfied with the status quo, always eager to explore new avenues, and I desired to live a life different from what I was accustomed to. I yearned to master skills such as setting a table properly, speaking articulately, dressing elegantly, and embodying a refined demeanor. I envied the lifestyles portrayed by the Brady Bunch, the Cleavers, and the Partridges, as well as the opulent lifestyle of the mavens from The Young and the Restless. However, I understood that such a lifestyle was not immediately attainable for me or those around me. Therefore, I wanted to offer younger girls the opportunities and skills I had missed during my upbringing. More importantly, I wanted to be a resource for them, even if it meant providing guidance myself.
beauty, fashion, etiquette, and modeling, all free of charge. This passion came naturally to me, and I was deeply committed to helping these girls, who became like little sisters to me.
My journey took a significant turn when a church leader asked me to train young ladies for an upcoming fashion show, focusing on modeling and runway etiquette. As we rehearsed tirelessly in the church parking lot, perfecting our runway walks, I discovered my innate
I provided free personal development programs to middle and high school girls, teaching social graces and refinement to help them stand out as polished individuals. As my business evolved, I began training and coaching professional adults, resulting in the transition to Totally You-nique Educational Consultants, LLC. Recently, it has expanded to include the Totally You-nique Institute of Excellence. This new branch focuses on bridging social skills gaps in youth, fostering academic excellence, post-high-school readiness, and workforce development. It addresses critical skills such as positive mindset, self-awareness, confidence, etiquette, and civility, which are essential for future leadership and success. Over time, the consultancy has grown into a comprehensive service offering training, coaching, consulting, keynote speeches, and motivational speaking for both youth and adults.
Can you share a success story or a particularly memorable moment with a client that stands out in your career?
So, I immersed myself in learning and practicing these skills, eventually passing them on to younger girls. Initially, I mentored them in life skills, glamour,
talent and enthusiasm for training. This experience prompted me to combine my professional and personal skills to broaden my range of services, leading to the creation of my training business, Totally You-nique.
The impact was profound, and my understanding of their lives strengthened my connection with the youth. This led to establishing the Totally You-nique Academy of Charm and Etiquette, where
I work with a diverse range of individuals, both youth and adults, many of whom have experienced significant childhood adversities (ACES). These are people whose lives have been marked by unimaginable challenges, leaving them with painful memories and negative emotions tied to horrific events they wish they could forget. Understanding this context is crucial to appreciating the highlights of my career. Knowing this, I have found that the most effective coaching involves a holistic approach, addressing both the internal
{ WOMAN ON THE RISE }
“I have more peace, joy, and contentment when I do what I love, and it’s done effortlessly. It provides me with solace knowing that I have used my God-given gift to mentor and improve someone else’s life.”
and external aspects of a person’s life. By taking clients on personal and intimate journeys of self-discovery, I quickly build deep connections with them. I can actually recall numerous profound moments with clients, particularly when they experience an “aha” realization that their current decisions, attitudes, and behaviors may be deeply rooted in their past negative experiences.
One of the most rewarding aspects of my work is witnessing clients articulate newfound emotional freedom, such as when they say they feel “a little freer emotionally,” or have “found their voice for the first time,” or they “no longer wish to commit suicide.” Some have shared that they “now feel self-confident for the first time in their lives,” while others muster the courage to disclose past sexual abuse for the first time. These moments are deeply moving and affirm the impact of the coaching process.
I could recount many more memorable experiences with clients, but what stands out most is the honor of being trusted to guide them on their journeys to self-discovery.
How do you stay updated with the latest trends and developments in coaching and consulting?
I stay current with industry trends through continuous research. Also, by actively stepping away from my roles as a coach, consultant, and trainer to adopt the role of a student. I engage in collaborative training with other organization leaders and network with industry professionals to remain relevant and informed. My commitment to learning drives me to gather insights from both the younger generation and seasoned business owners. I believe to truly become an expert one
must immerse themself deeply in their field. Another effective way to achieve expertise is to seek out a mentor who is already established in your area of interest. This often involves financially investing in mentorship and/or coaching services. I am a firm believer in this approach, which is why I embrace both roles of mentor and mentee. There are times when we reach the limits of our knowledge and expertise, and we may not even realize it. We might find ourselves cycling through the same challenges without finding solutions. In these moments, it’s crucial to use intuition and discernment to recognize when it’s time to seek external help. Turning to someone with broader experience and resources can provide the necessary guidance to advance more effectively. Staying updated and connected with the right information and individuals is essential for making progress and achieving your goals sooner rather than later.
What challenges have you faced as a woman entrepreneur, and how have you overcome them?
One of the biggest challenges I faced was recognizing my worth as a female business owner and understanding that my unique contributions can only be authentically offered by me. Realizing that the skills I bring to the table are Totally You-nique and that they fulfill a purpose God intended for my clients to experience, was especially enlightening. This understanding taught me not to undersell, undermine, or underestimate myself and my services. Even if others don’t see my value, it doesn’t diminish the worth of what I offer.
I came to accept that not everyone will be my client, and I’m okay with that. I embrace the fact that my greatest
competition is myself, and I don’t need to compare my offerings to those of others. My accomplishments and goals are the benchmarks I use to measure my progress. I trust that what is meant for me will come to me, and I believe there is enough room for everyone to succeed in their unique ways. Therefore, I am comfortable sharing success and opportunities.
Most importantly, I learned that it’s not enough to simply help other aspiring women business owners from afar. Instead, I need to actively support them by riding the elevator down, assisting them on their journey, and guiding them through every level of access. I must ensure they can benefit from the doors I have already opened. Sometimes, women forget that they did not reach their own success alone and overlook the importance of reaching back to lift others up. It’s important to me to not become that person.
How do you balance the demands of running a successful business with personal life?
I have to admit that sometimes, I struggle with balancing my time effectively. But I strive to be more mindful of how I manage work and personal rejuvenation. I normally decide when to take a day off or dedicate a few hours to activities that recharge me based on the urgency and deadlines of my tasks.
One of my best friends, who is also a business owner, shared her approach: she tackles the most critical and demanding tasks during her peak productivity hours, while reserving fewer essential tasks for times when she has the flexibility to be more creative. I’ve found that adopting a similar schedule helps me achieve the
{ WOMAN ON THE RISE }
“I am a firm believer in this approach, which is why I embrace both roles of mentor and mentee.”
best balance in my current phase of business and provides peace of mind, reducing constant stress about deadlines.
What role does mentorship play in your business, and how do you approach guiding your clients?
As I previously mentioned, I am an advocate for mentorship. I believe everyone in business should have a mentor, as well as be a mentor. I have several mentors for various aspects of my life. I have a personal mentor, a business mentor, an etiquette mentor, a leadership mentor, and a spiritual mentor. All of these individuals play critical roles in my life independently. However, having them available collectively provides the support and balance needed to remain grounded in the goals I am trying to accomplish. They are parts of my village. I also have multiple cheerleaders, several close friends, and select family members for parts of my mentorship village. My mentees are also critical to my circle of support and success. I have found that I inadvertently help myself as I help someone else. Also, I am more productive and creative when I operate in my passion. I have more peace, joy, and contentment when I do what I love, and it’s done effortlessly. It provides me with solace knowing that I have used my God-given gift to mentor and improve someone else’s life.
How do you tailor your coaching and consulting services to meet the unique needs of each client?
I become each client’s social skills architect, by conducting a gap analysis and needs assessment. Simply put, I gather knowledge that helps me to build a strategic bridge of steps and indicators between their current state, and their desired future state. I base each
unique plan on understanding the client’s short-term, mid-range, and long-term: purpose, vision, mission, and goals. After that, the work begins by constructing a training curriculum, a coaching model, or a keynote speech. I go into the process with the understanding that each client is Totally “You”-nique and I expect and embrace their needs, desires, plans, and processes to be one-of-a-kind. It makes things easier and less complicated going into each discussion with acceptance and nonjudgement for the outcomes. Instead, I look forward to the pure potentiality, which is possible with each client, and I build a connection while co-creating their individualized plan.
What do you think sets Totally “You”nique apart from other coaching and consulting businesses?
That’s a great question. Here is what I know for sure. People can’t heal what they continue to conceal. That’s why I don’t hide my scars. My vulnerability helps them reveal theirs. Also, people don’t know what they want or need until you expose them to their reality. Yes, there are thousands of coaches, trainers, and consultants in various fields, across the world. However, I do not see them as a threat. Everyone has their own secret sauce for how they yield results. We can all have the same information, but the delivery will be different. Some consultants participate in this lane because they know how to do it. Others embark in this field because they want to try something new. Many people do it because it seems fun or it’s part of their job description. What sets Totally “You”-nique and me apart is that I was chosen for this work. I didn’t choose this arena. It chose me. It found me, early. I was called, magnetized, and curiously drawn to this work. My experiences,
good and bad, have prepared me to be effective in this line of work. It is natural for me. It doesn’t ever feel like work because it’s what I was born to do. I found my purpose and my purpose found me. Then, my purpose aligned with my passion. That was the Kairos moment in my life. But when my purpose and passion became my paycheck, that was the Trifecta. To me, that’s how it should be. If you do a job you love, you will never work a day in your life, right? I was fortunate enough to have discovered this. Because I know many people who have lived their entire lives and never truly identify their purpose, passion, or calling.
How do you measure the success of your clients, and what metrics do you use to track their progress?
I measure my clients’ success through regular check-ins that focus on gradual changes. The primary indicator of progress is the client’s own perception of their transformation. When clients can clearly identify and articulate their progress compared to their starting point, it serves as the ultimate measure of success.
To track progress, I collect data both on paper and electronically, utilizing pre-assessments and post-evaluation tools to gather self-reported data. I also compare results against the initial objectives set before the consulting began. This involves assessing whether I met the client’s needs and expectations and delivered what was promised.
Additionally, I take observational notes on changes in behavior, affect, personality, and attitude, as well as how clients articulate their own changes. By crossreferencing consulting notes with these
{ WOMAN ON THE RISE }
“By taking clients on personal and intimate journeys of self-discovery, I quickly build deep connections with them.”
observations, assessments, and evaluations, I can create a comprehensive narrative of the client’s journey, illustrating where they started and where they are now.
What advice would you give to someone looking to start their own business, especially in the coaching and consulting field?
The best advice I would give is to ensure that your field aligns with your passion and purpose. Also, make sure you are knowledgeable in your field. Connect with someone already working in your field of choice and garner some professional direction. Don’t recreate the wheel. Someone has already done what you desire to do. So, ask for help! Become certified and credentialed and continue professional development regularly. Make sure you are solving a problem with your target market. Because there are thousands of consultants already doing what you are proposing to do. So, make sure you set yourself apart from the others. Know the terrain in which you are trying to climb. Understand that no one can do exactly what you do, in the way that you do it, so don’t try to walk in someone else’s shadow. Follow your own! Set up your business legally right from the beginning. File as a DBA (Doing Business As) certificate, LLC, C-Corp, or S-Corp, depending on the size of your business. Register your EIN and DUNS Number. Open a business bank account with a credit union. Also put your business in a trust along with your other assets (pension, life insurance, investments, rental property, home, etc.) to protect your assets and to begin building generational wealth for your future lineage. And call me to make sure you are well-insured, both personally and professionally. I am also a NYS licensed life insurance agent.
In what ways do you give back to the community or support local causes? I wholeheartedly believe in giving back to the community and supporting local causes. I volunteer as often as I can. When I cannot volunteer, I offer discounts to charitable organizations. I provide scholarships to selected students with financial hardships, enabling them to participate in my programs. To raise money to support the scholarship fund, I created a bespoke home fragrance line of carpet powder and companion room air refreshers. I fully fund this project myself. I give back by offering in-kind, one-on-one coaching services for a few young women who cannot afford the services. I understand it’s not always about the money. It’s about the assignment, and helping a young woman change her life for the better, heal from childhood wounds, and acquire new social skills to teach her how to navigate the world from an optimistic viewpoint. It’s about teaching an adult woman or young girl to be a well-represented lady and to become self-aware enough to understand how to access those inward special qualities she may not be aware of yet. The qualities that make her Totally “You”-nique. I also started the Grace & Grind podcast to offer free guidance and strategies to young ladies 25 and older on the best practices of embracing their femininity while grinding professionally, navigating life, and doing it with the etiquette, grace, and elegance of a lady.
What future goals do you have for Totally “You”-nique, and how do you plan to achieve them?
I envision Totally “You”-nique as a fullservice international training, consulting, and coaching firm, servicing boys, girls, adults, and organizations. I believe in collaboration and understand the power of
synergy when coupled with like-minded individuals. Also, it’s easier to reach goals with the efforts of many versus the skill of one. When talents, skills, and abilities are combined with other entities, it broadens the organizational offerings and yields both companies with more diversity and competitiveness. This is needed in this 21st-century global marketplace. I am also in discussions of collaboration with a few educational institutions, non-profit organizations, and businesses in NYS, the United States, and internationally. The plan is to continue with the strategic roll-out already in force and track the results to determine effectiveness.
Can you describe your coaching and consulting philosophy in three words, and explain why you chose those words? Authenticity, vulnerability, and transparency.
1. Authenticity – sharing my experiences has helped my clients connect with me because I am relatable. I am authentic, down-to-earth, and genuine on purpose. People can tell when someone is being disingenuous or duplicitous. I keep it real. I lovingly tell the ugly truth; and I permit people to come into my space as their true selves, without apology. I deliberately provide a safe space for my clients to be their authentic selves. I make it very clear that there is no reason to invite or bring the representative or imposter into the room. Everyone is welcomed and encouraged to be who they genuinely are. Otherwise, I cannot effectively determine if my services are helping.
2. Vulnerability – All experiences are welcome (good and bad). I invite my clients to bring the whole person into
{ WOMAN ON THE RISE }
“My journey took a significant turn when a church leader asked me to train young ladies for an upcoming fashion show, focusing on modeling and runway etiquette.”
the room without holding back. I don’t expect people to come to my door, check their suitcases, and cross the threshold with only their briefcases. That is not realistic. People take their whole selves with them everywhere they go. Therefore, I teach people how to become vulnerable and unpack the heavy, unwanted items they no longer desire to carry around in their suitcases. This helps them to heal old wounds, live life freer, and be more intentional with the way they live their lives.
3. Transparency –I am transparent about my experiences and life lessons to help clients understand that their life occurrences are not isolated to them alone. Our journeys and how we express our life’s happenings will undoubtedly be different. But the emotions rendered from those incidents are usually shared and familiar to many even if they have never been spoken. This type of open communication makes clients comfortable enough to share things about their lives that may be difficult or that they have never revealed before. My purpose is to help people leave a little lighter than how they came into their session.
How do you keep yourself motivated and inspired in your work?
Each time I witness a person yield positive change in their life encourages me to continue my work. Each client who experiences short-term victories after sitting in on my sessions brings me personal gratification. Just knowing that I am helping someone to change their life for the better inspires me to keep going. When a client expresses, they have experienced emotional weight loss, I feel lighter as well. Because I know how burdensome it is to carry
emotional weight and how free it feels to release it. Each time I meet with students and help them close their social skills gap I am reminded that this is the work God has called me to do. I am encouraged, motivated, and inspired to continue reaching one person at a time and helping individuals find their true, authentic, and Totally “You”-nique self, unapologetically.
What role does networking play in your business, and how do you build and maintain relationships with clients and peers?
Networking is a crucial component of my business strategy. I’ve learned that, at times, success hinges more on who you know rather than what you know. Recognizing the value of having a sponsor to open doors or facilitate introductions has been pivotal. Word of mouth remains an incredibly powerful marketing tool, which is why I prioritize excellence, exceptional customer service, and treating others according to the platinum rule.
My approach to networking is both intentional and strategic. I identify key individuals I need to meet, understand the purpose of these connections, and determine the optimal timing for reaching out. If I don’t have a direct connection, I tap into my extensive network to find someone who does and request their assistance with an introduction. Once the introduction is made, I follow up within a week and acknowledge the person who facilitated the connection.
From there, I aim to establish common ground or identify needs that I can address, and vice versa. Occasionally, I’ve bartered for services to ensure mutual benefit. I believe in focusing on quality
connections rather than quantity and strive to make networking opportunities advantageous for all parties involved.
If you could change one thing about the coaching and consulting industry, what would it be and why?
The first thing I would change is to form a regulatory body to level the playing field and set some industry standards regarding consulting/ training fees, accreditations, required consultant credentials, and standardizing evaluations. I believe that doing so would position consulting as a more respectable profession instead of being considered an extracurricular event or expense that people can cut or do without.
The second thing I would change is encouraging schools, businesses, and organizations to allocate mandatory training budgets for their stakeholders. Especially since 80% of graduating seniors indicate they feel unprepared for the workforce. They don’t know how to navigate their first job. If we do not offer the social skills needed to equip them for the world of work, we are doing them a great disservice. Oftentimes, the individuals in the trenches are forgotten about and without training, coaching plans, or professional development services available to them. Since they are probably the future leaders of the organizations, preparing them is vital for the success and positive trajectory of the company.
The third thing I would implement is that all C-suite professionals participate in leadership training and coaching, so they understand how to develop their staff for optimal success at work, and in a healthy way.
{
WOMAN ON THE RISE }
“I was never satisfied with the status quo, always eager to explore new avenues, and I desired to live a life different from what I was accustomed to.”
My goal is to instill that mindset in as many children as possible and to set high expectations, but early. Because no one rises to low expectations. So, we have
conduct should not be the exception to the rule, but the norm. We have to denounce the misnomer that people who respect themselves, speak well,
behave with self-pride, and exhibit decorum, should only be expected from “rich people” or “people with money.” Social skills (mindset, etiquette, civility, comportment, and decorum, etc.) are teachable and learnable skills that anyone can acquire, regardless of socioeconomic status. I guess, I just want to contribute to a future where all lives matter, by all people, our selfgovernance aligns with good character, God is our moral compass, and human kindness lives in our hearts. If I could leave a legacy, I would like to add value to this world in that way.
LORRAINE KANE
Lorraine Kane is a woman who embodies passion, dedication, and an unwavering commitment to both her clients and her community. With nearly two decades in cosmetology, Lorraine found joy in delivering exceptional client service. However, her longstanding interest in real estate eventually led her to take a bold leap in 2019, shifting her career toward buying and selling properties. The timing couldn’t have been better, and Lorraine has never looked back since that pivotal moment.
As a naturally social individual, Lorraine soon realized that being an independent real estate agent left her missing the camaraderie she craved. This motivated her to establish Team Luxe Realty, a dynamic group of like-minded agents who share her vision of providing top-tier service to every client, regardless of the price point. Her team offers something unique in the real estate world: collaboration, support, and accountability among agents, ensuring that clients receive the absolute best care during the most significant transactions of their lives.
proclaimed late-bloomer when it comes to being a “dog person,” she now passionately fosters shelter animals and uses her network to raise funds for local rescues, combining her love for pets with her professional endeavors.
Lorraine Kane’s journey in real estate and animal advocacy is a true testament to following your passions and making
service. I have always been interested in buying and selling real estate but the timing never seemed “right”. In 2019, I took a leap of faith and haven’t looked back since. I wish I would have done it sooner!
What inspired you to start your own real estate group, Team Luxe Realty?
I am EXTREMELY social. Being an independent agent got to be a little lonely for me. I wanted to celebrate wins with others, help others, motivate each other, and also be held accountable! But working alongside like-minded agents was imperative, and that’s how Kamarie, Alexis, and I wound up together. They saw my vision from the beginning and helped to put their touches in the mix. Also, I love that we have each other to help in times of need, and I know our clients will be well taken care of.
Balancing a successful real estate career with family life can be a challenge, but Lorraine navigates it with grace. She prioritizes her non-negotiables, like picking her kids up from school, while still managing to give her clients her full attention, even if that means working nights and weekends. Beyond real estate, Lorraine’s heart lies in advocating for animals. A self-
an impact in every facet of life. She continues to inspire others with her tireless work ethic, compassion, and drive to make a difference in her community.
How did you first become interested in real estate, and what led you to pursue it as a career?
Coming from a Cosmetology background of almost 2 decades, I have grown to love providing valuable client
What is the mission and vision behind Team Luxe Realty?
Our mission is for every client to feel as if they are buying/ selling luxury properties,regardless of the price point. With top tier service always and the utmost respect and care during the largest transaction of your lifetime. My vision was to have a team of agents where we care for and help each other, just like our clients.
How do you balance your professional career with your family life?
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }
“It all started with one day having some spare time and thinking it would be nice to go give some attention to shelter pups.”
I am very lucky that my kids have retired grandparents! But also, I aim to balance when possible. I have some nonnegotiables such as weekdays I need to pick kids up from school, but in return I will work nights and weekends! I will always make time for you!
Can you share some of the most significant successes and challenges you have faced in real estate, particularly over the past year?
Real Estate brings successes and challenges every single day. I would have to say that Team Luxe just celebrated our first full year in business together, and we are in the top 300 agents of our local board of over 3,000 agents. That makes Team Luxe the top 10%, and we hope for this to continue to rise. The biggest challenge has been our low inventory. It’s been a rough few years for buyers, but we have a 100% success rate on getting all of our clients into their new homes. Some just take a bit longer in this market.
makes us well-seasoned agents, but we keep our marketing young and fresh! We’ve had food trucks at our open houses and even had a Barbie-themed Open when the Barbie movie was all the
How do you stay motivated and focused in such a competitive industry?
I never thought I was competitive! But the feeling you get when your buyers are jumping for joy after getting their dream home, or sellers are over the moon with the result of their sale is all I needed to become competitive! These transactions are huge life decisions and we are honored to be chosen to come along for the ride. That’s all the motivation we need!
What unique qualities or services does Team Luxe Realty offer that sets it apart from other real estate groups?
There are quite a few things that set us apart from other teams! Chances are you will meet at least 2/3 of the team throughout your transaction. That means you are getting 2 agents for the price of 1! We like to think our experience
What advice would you give to someone looking to start their own business, particularly in the real estate industry?
DO IT! Be prepared to work hard. It’s not easy, especially in the beginning! But your success is a product of your work ethic.
Can you tell us about a particularly challenging real estate deal and how you overcame the obstacles involved?
There have been a few, but Team Luxe always tries to take on any of the “problems” so you don’t have to. We always want these deals to be as stressfree as possible for our clients. I would have to say one of the most challenging deals to date was one in which a buyer got an accepted offer contingent upon selling her current home, and then accepting a contingent offer on her home... this was about 4 homes deep! It was an actual domino effect of 4 different families needing to get into their new home, so the new buyer of their old home could move in. It was beyond difficult but we got through it! One day and one step at a time! It’s always much easier when you break one large issue down into pieces. Much easier to tackle!
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }
“Get everything in writing! Do your best and you’ll get results. And last but not least, communication is key!”
How did you become involved with advocating for animals at the local shelter?
Believe it or not, I wasn’t a “dog person” until my late thirties when I got my first dog, Duke! I didn’t grow up with them and just didn’t understand. I’ve always been a big advocate for babies and children, and then once I got Duke, I realized dogs are exactly our babies and children! They don’t have voices to speak up for themselves if they aren’t being treated well. It all started with one day having some spare time and thinking it would be nice to go give some attention to shelter pups. Well, I ended up going home with a foster! And since then I have tried to give however I can.
What motivates you to continue your work with animal advocacy alongside your real estate career?
If you love to do something, it comes naturally. To foster a dog, donate to animals in need, and provide for people needing help with their pets or even strays makes me feel good. So does my career of helping people buy and sell property! So they just flow easily for me. I am very lucky and grateful that I get to network with amazing lenders/partners who will sponsor events for Team Luxe to raise money for local rescues.
amazed at how many people I’ve met through my animal rescue network who have turned into clients! These are just 2 separate entities that bring
open, honest, and trustworthy are a huge part of both roles.
What are some of the biggest lessons you’ve learned throughout your career in real estate?
networking play in your business strategy?
Get everything in writing! Do your best and you’ll get results. And last but not least, communication is key!
What are your goals for the future of Team Luxe Realty?
My goals for Team Luxe are pretty simple! Quality over quantity, always. I would rather have only 1 five star review, than 20 mixed reviews. I want every client we work with to be thrilled with the outcome, and nothing else. And if we can also help some animals in need along the way, GREAT!
Tell us something people don’t know about you that you’d like to share with our readers.
• How do you integrate your passion for animal advocacy with your professional life in real estate? I am
It was never part of my plan that some of my business would come from the love of dogs and cats, lol! I think I answered this in the previous question when I said I believe people just appreciate me being a vulnerable human. Being
I love babies, kids, dogs, and cats. If any one of these is around during a showing or an appointment, it’s going to be very hard for me to focus, and I will likely be rolling on the floor with them, lol! I can’t help myself. Maybe people do know this about me, actually! My family is my whole world, and I am obsessed with my dogs. In my spare time, I love to read and shop.
“My family is my whole world, and I am obsessed with my dogs. In my spare time, I love to read and shop.”
{
ONE TOUGH MOTHER }
WITHOUT YOU, I WOULD BE DEAD!
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Recently, I had a poignant conversation with Jon. I asked him, “Who do you consider your heroes?” His response was a profound revelation: “You and Dad are!” When I probed further, asking why, he said, “Because, without you and Dad, I would be dead!” This stark statement underscored the immense influence parents can have on a disabled child’s life.
As we delved deeper into his feelings, Jon expressed a belief that parents of disabled children, including us, are unsung heroes. Their superpowers, he said, are relentless dedication, unyielding support, and unconditional love. This journey is fraught with unique challenges, sacrifice, and unwavering commitment to caring for their child. We, as parents, shoulder immense responsibilities. We are often their sole advocate for our child’s rights and become experts in their child’s condition to ensure they receive the best medical care and navigate the complex healthcare system to meet their needs. I will use Jon as an example of this.
BY CHRISTINE PIACENTINO
husband and I have acquired the medical knowledge needed to keep our son as healthy as possible despite his condition. Caring for Jon is both physically and emotionally exhausting. We have witnessed Jon face obstacles that others may not fully comprehend. Jon was confronted with societal stigma, discrimination, and barriers to inclusion. Watching these injustices was heart-wrenching.
to appropriate care to managing their day-to-day needs, the role of a parent to a disabled child is demanding, both physically and emotionally. We must navigate complex healthcare systems, tirelessly seeking out the best resources and support networks for our children. Despite the difficulties and emotional tolls parents endure. All parents manage to find joy in our lives and create legacies for our children. I have a few parent heroes of my own. And practical aspects of caregiving are challenging. Despite the difficulties, we find joy in our lives and try to ensure legacies for our children.
His condition requires navigating specialty care from neurology, pulmonary, cardiology, and endocrinology. Over the years, my
I believe that parents of disabled adult children are often unsung heroes in our society. Our relentless dedication, unconditional love, and unyielding support make us true champions in the eyes of many. While our journey is filled with challenges and sacrifices, our unwavering commitment to nurturing and caring for our disabled children is heroic. The responsibilities we shoulder are immense. From advocating my child’s rights and access
I want to highlight two of my heroes. First and foremost is my daughter, Kat Piacentino, has run the New York City Marathon six times to raise awareness and money to end Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. I often wonder how on earth my daughter became a marathon runner. Running is not something I enjoy at all! I find running extremely painful and get no joy or satisfaction from it. I couldn’t run a full marathon through NYC, let alone six! Kat loves the New York City Marathon because the course takes you through all five city boroughs. The magic of the city during race weekend is beyond compare. The city has so much love and support; it comes
“Elijah is driven by a vision to save his own life, his brother’s life, and the lives of countless others affected by Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.”
alive beautifully. You connect with everyone you meet, other runners and spectators; it’s an instant bond with everyone in the town. The city and the race are full of tradition and history; there’s so much pride and respect for the event, and it’s one of my favorite weekends.
Kat has been dedicated to fighting this disease for her brother and others who have been diagnosed with Duchenne. Running improves cardiovascular health, reduces stress, and strengthens lung capacity. Duchenne muscular dystrophy affects all muscles, and the leading causes of death are cardiac or pulmonary failure. I keep running to raise awareness because your heart is a muscle, too, and I want to keep my brother and all those with Duchenne beating longer.
If you would like to donate, please lives of countless others affected by
THE LIE OF NEVER ENOUGH
Not enough. Too much.
Those phrases preoccupy most adolescent minds. The feeling of being too tall, too short, too loud, too shy, too bookish, too boring or, conversely, not tall enough, not short enough, not bold enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough haunts most people at some time or another. Particularly when we’re young, we compare ourselves to our peers and often fall short in some way.
This fear of being too much or not enough can be particularly poignant in mixed-race and adopted kids. They often feel like they are too white for the Black kids and too Black for the white kids. Or that they are not Asian enough, Hispanic enough or Black enough to deserve a seat at the table with other kids of color. Their hair isn’t straight enough, or it’s too straight. They only know a few words in Korean. They don’t like the right kind of music. They don’t know the right slang. They don’t have enough swag or street cred. Their mom looks different from the other moms; they’re slightly embarrassed by their dad’s thick accent, and their grandma most certainly speaks differently from the other kids’ grandmas.
If you have mixed-race kids, or transracially adopted kids, here are three things you can do to support your kids as they head back to school. Listen. When your kids are getting ready for school, or when they come home, do they express dismay over any aspect of their physical appearance or identity? Do you hear things like,
BY NICOLE DOYLEY
“I hate my hair!” or “Maybe I should wear sunscreen so I don’t get darker” or “The Black kids (Hispanic kids, Asian kids) say I can’t sit at their table because I’m not really one of them.”
If you hear any of these things, encourage your kids with the truth right then and there, and then if time is short, bring it up again when you have more time to go deeper into the subject. Let them know that their hair and skin are gorgeous and that they are indeed Black or Hispanic or Asian - and they are also something else. They can claim a place at multiple tables!
Be proactive. When you chose to have mixed-race kids or adopt kids of a different race, you lost the privilege of avoiding discussions on race. If you ignore this topic, your kids will grapple with feelings about their racial identity outside of the safety of their own family. Talking about race is like talking about sex. If you don’t talk about it, with your values attached to it, your kids will learn about it outside and in ways that you likely don’t agree with.
Soooooo communicate, communicate, communicate! Talk about things happening in the news. Talk about stereotypes and systemic racism. Ask what other kids are saying about them or others as it pertains to race and ethnicity. Talk about Black and Brown excellence. Let them know that there are myriad reasons to lift their head with pride and dignity about who they are, both inside and out!
Give your kids broad cultural experiences. One of the things adopted and mixed-race kids get accused of is being an Oreo, or a Twinkie or a coconut: that is, that they are Black or Brown on the outside but white on the inside. And sometimes this is true. Mothers tend to be the progenitors of culture, both consciously and subliminally, and if mom is white, her kids might be completely white culturally – even though they have brown skin. As a result, when they are with kids of color, they feel uncomfortable and out of place.
Soooooo make sure your kids are regularly immersed in the cultures of their own heritages. They should know the music, the traditions, the folklore, the values of their non-white side. Hang around people of color often. Don’t raise brown kids who are only comfortable around white people.
Your kids won’t be an oreo or a twinkie or a coconut if on the inside they are a rich combination of everything that they are.
** Good news! My new book entitled, What About the Children: 5 values for multiracial families will release February 11, 2025! Click here to find out more and be kept in the loop!
“Hang around people of color often. Don’t raise brown kids who are only comfortable around white people. “
WHAT MICHELLE SAID FIGHTING FOR WHAT’S RIGHT
BY LISA WAGNER
In my August article for RWOL, “No More Apologies,” I wrote about how we, as women, no longer need to apologize for our existence. It’s what my late sister’s life taught me all too well. It also resonated with me when Michelle Obama, the greatest orator of our time, spoke at the DNC about how the time has come to no longer practice her adage; “When they go low, we go high.” That instead, we release the “Goldilocks complex.” Her message was simple but incredibly clear; “Michelle Obama is asking … no, I’m telling y’all to do something.” We will no longer live small or feel like you need to explain your “why,” and we all need one another to live out loud. To fight for what is right and just.
We were taught be sweet, kind, ladylike, soft-spoken and always polite. To smile because we’re easier on the eye that way. To not make a fuss or be seen as harsh. To believe the best in others always and rise above the hate and ignore the bullies because “karma will get them” or be compassionate because you didn’t know what they had been through and “they must be so hurt themselves.”
While listening to the former first lady speak in a way that my heart has always known was the right way to be without any hesitation or apologies for expressing my truest feelings and self. It feels more honorable and kinder. To call out those who mean you harm and not accept unacceptable behaviors for ourselves or others. We can’t sit in silence any longer and expect it to somehow work its way out. This inaction is seen by those who lead with fear as a green light to continue these hurtful behaviors.
Our country is facing a pivotal and monumental election that could change whether we are allowed continued bodily autonomy, although that is slowly beginning to be taken away. Currently, there are 14 states where abortion is illegal and 15 where it is considered either a hostile environment or not fully protected.
This likely will be our end game if we don’t speak up and act. Our democracy is in peril. This could quite possibly be our last election if the wrong person is elected. That’s not fearmongering, either. It’s the reality of what we are facing. It’s been made abundantly clear that our ability to use your voice will be stripped away and your children’s education will be led by those who wish them to have an indoctrinated way of thinking. Books that contain and encourage critical thinking will not only be banned but burned, which is already happening in states like Texas and Florida.
All this and more are what has been allowed to come about because our voices have been diminished and shushed away by our patriarchy. Told that those of us who do use our right to our voice are “childless cat ladies.” That we should just allow men to touch us in ways that we have not agreed to and that they then can decide how you get treatment after their abuse. To stay in abusive relationships because it’s what they deem best for them.
If that isn’t enough for you to stop being “so demure, so mindful,” I’m not sure what is. Haven’t we taken enough of their breadcrumbs to keep the collective at large comfortable?
I know I’ve had it with bullying, treachery, narcissistic behaviors and cruelty will never be allowed in my space ever again. I’ve had enough. I hope you have, too.
I was bullied relentlessly as a kid and young adult. Our family has been the targets of bullies, as well. We have decided that enough is enough and we will no longer tolerate behaviors that are so egregious and meant to dimmish or degrade another human being. Not just for ourselves but for others, as well. We have all begun speaking out against it and not sparing those who commit those acts. We speak freely about who has committed these actions and the ways in which we have ensured that our boundaries no longer allow that in our space. It needs to be called out into the open and out of the shadows of keyboard and cunning in-person bullies. Enough is enough.
Just last year, I was followed throughout the supermarket by a food distributor so that I could smile for him because he “knew I’d be so pretty if I would just do that for him.” The most frightening part was that I had my business name on my car. I knew how easy it would be for him to look me up and know where I lived. How was I going to shake this guy and get away without giving away my safety? When he went back to the stockroom, I made a break for the parking lot. Once home, I told my husband what happened, and he went back to the store and spoke to the manager. They watched the surveillance video and confirmed my story. The man was reported to his parent company, banned from the store and his company said they would
{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE } { MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE }
“Now is your time to protest, standing tall and proud of your heart and your love-based beliefs with zero reservations.”
make sure he would be dealt with at the end of the day. Aka terminated. (Btw, it’s not the first time I’ve been followed or chased in a Wegmans parking lot.)
I am so fortunate that I have a husband that speaks up for me and other women that are being minimized, abused or caused pain by others. Especially fellow males. He uses his voice for us and hopes other men will follow suit. Imploring the men in our families and friends’ group to also help us to be seen as the equals that we are and to demand our rights be at the forefront of our minds and laws will shore up our position that we have waited much too long to occupy. To ask for what we have a birthright to be afforded should be normalized. It is our time to take our rightful place in the world and men who operate from love are our allies. We deserve to feel safe no matter where we are, what time of day it is or what we’re wearing.
This isn’t a game and never has been. The dark side of this world wishes for us to stay small. To toe the line and not question authority or long-held beliefs. Shining our light in those corners where they operate is exactly what we are being implored to do. Their intimidation will no longer work when we rise above and know
we are an alliance of light.
This is our chance to make a lasting and loving difference by calling out the fearmongering and bullying for what it is; cruel, dangerous, despicable and unacceptable. To stand up for one another, our bodies and beliefs.
Now is your time to protest, standing tall and proud of your heart and your love-based beliefs with zero reservations. Check your voter registration, go to the polls, sign petitions, call your reps and use that beautiful voice of yours. Live with love in your heart, mind and actions. As Michelle says; “Do Something!”
Don’t just pray, hope or wish or leave it the strong ones. Nope. We are all one fighting for what is right together as a force to be reckoned with. We hold one another up and stand for kindness, equality, the right to live in a free society not dictated by CEO’s, greed of money and power known as the patriarchy. That ship has sailed. Especially when we are willing to rip it off its moorings. We can rest when we reach the shores of actualized equality, promise and hope for ourselves and our little girls. I stand with you now and always as we wage war against inequity and darkness to usher in an age of doing the right thing. Living in our light and not accepting anything less ever again. We deserve that and always have. It’s your time to stand in your light and shine like the gorgeous star that you are meant to be!
{ WOMEN WHO INSPIRE } YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BREAKING THE STIGMA PART II: NEVER SAY “GOODBYE”
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
BY VERONICA RYAN
As I said in Breaking the Stigma Part I, living with BPD felt like being in hell, like the end of days. It seemed impossible that things could get any worse, but early in 2022, my symptoms became even more intense. I fell into a deep depressive state and was plagued with constant thoughts of suicide. I had multiple outbursts throughout the day, and they were now physical as well as verbal.
Even minor inconveniences would set me off, leaving me drowning in a sea of emotions I could not identify, regulate, or process. At any given moment I would snap, letting out animal-like, blood curdling screams from deep within. I would clutch my head between bloody fingers I had picked apart, wishing I could tear through my skull and rip out my throbbing brain. Like a person possessed I would have fullblown tantrums and violently throw my body against walls, floors, and furniture. Thrashing around on the ground screaming obscenities, I would punch and hit myself mercilessly. Anything unlucky enough to be within my reach during an episode—phones, pictures, pens, drinking glasses, pillows, shoes— would be thrown with destructive intent. On a couple of occasions my dad had to physically restrain me, so I did not hurt myself. I would rock back and forth in an attempt to self soothe, “Make it stop,” I begged the God who I now both blamed and barely believed in. Matthew warned us about the souls
of the damned, weeping and gnashing their teeth in the fires of hell—but he never told me I would be one of them. Shortly after my twenty-first birthday, I committed myself to an inpatient psychiatric hospital. I made the phone call on March 31st, 2022, and told the intake coordinator the simple truth, “I don’t want to be alive anymore.”
The next day, my parents and I drove three hours so I could be locked up
other people precipitated my complete mental breakdown. As someone with undiagnosed, untreated BPD, I did not have the physical processing ability in my brain to respond to these stressors in a healthy way.
The hospital seemed like the only option—other than suicide. According to my intake assessment: “Veronica is a 21 year old female presenting for her first inpatient psychiatric admission to suicidal ideation with plans, urges to
self-harm, increased depression and anxiety, and general despair… has reported a feeling of not wanting to be alive anymore… reports having thoughts of wanting to shoot herself, overdose, crash her car, or jump off a bridge...wants to make it look like an accident so that she doesn’t hurt her parents…history of cutting…at 14 she was diagnosed as anorexic...soon after this diagnosis, she reported cutting and wrapping a cord around her neck, but decided to stop herself…reports she has not really been eating, having lost her appetite due to her depression and anxiety. She reports poor sleep, finding it difficult to fall asleep because of her anxiety and waking from frequent nightmares… requires inpatient psychiatric treatment for stabilization and safety…”
I was in the hospital from April 1, 2022, to April 6, 2022. Checking into the hospital felt like the end of the line, but it was also a beginning. I couldn’t see it then, or for many months after discharge, but it was the end of my downward slide. I’d hit bottom, and I’d go no lower. From this point on, every step I took was a step away from pain and forward into hope. The hospital stay not only kept me alive, it also set me on the path toward living.
As I read those sentences it all sounds so simple, but that’s the result of distance and hindsight. The reality was anything but simple or easy. It’s not like I checked out of the hospital and everything was all better and crystal clear. I was still in
{ WOMEN WHO
“When we enter any relationship, we never think about it ending, and silly as it may sound now, I never thought I’d have to say “goodbye.””
me when I was discharged, so I can’t honestly say I chose to move forward. It’s probably closer to the truth to say that I chose to stay physically alive. I had stopped living long before my hospital stay, but staying alive was the first step. Recovery has been a long, slow process, like clawing my way out of hell an inch at a time. Maybe my hospital stay was the first inch, and it was such a drastic step that there was no longer any doubt about how badly I needed help. My options were perfectly, horribly, clear: move forward or give up. In any case, three days after my release, I sat across from my therapist of seven years as she tentatively diagnosed me (the official diagnosis would wait for the experts at the Psychiatry High Risk program) with borderline personality disorder.
My therapist had seen red flags before 2022, but never enough of them, or never quite the right ones, to definitively
Many symptoms of BPD overlap with “typical” teenage angst and developmental factors. My troubling behaviors were always blamed on my age or attributed to other diagnoses. My therapist had been keeping a careful record of my behaviors, including the eruption of BPD symptoms about a year before my diagnosis. The hospital stay sealed the deal, along with the way I clung to suicide like a baby blanket.
Hearing the diagnosis was actually less upsetting than hearing my therapist gently tell me that I needed help she could not provide, and that I should apply to the Psychiatry High Risk Program at Upstate. Anyone else in the world would call it a typical medical referral, but to me it was another goodbye. I was angry at her, and I struggled with deep feelings of abandonment. Now I realize that my anger at her was a deflection to protect myself from a far more painful
think about it ending, and silly as it may sound now, I never thought I’d have to say “goodbye.” Over our many years together, my therapist watched me grow up. She had seen me through constant anxiety and OCD tendencies, numbing bouts of depression, anorexia, self-harm, suicidal ideation, swarms of intrusive thoughts, and even a Lyme Disease diagnosis. She was a witness to my love, held space for my dreams, and shared my laugh and smile. I hated to leave her, and I cried as I hugged her at our final appointment. She tried to reassure me, but I just couldn’t believe her final words, “It’s going to be a good life.” …End Part II…
Join me next month for Breaking the Stigma Part III: Life or Death: Your Call
In the whirlwind of motherhood, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are. Between diaper changes, school drop-offs, and endless to-do lists, your days are filled with tasks that demand your attention and energy. The chaos can be overwhelming, leaving you wondering if you’ll ever find a moment of peace. What if there is a silver lining? Recognizing that peace doesn’t come from a perfectly organized life, but from embracing the chaos and learning to love yourself in the midst of it.
Society often paints a picture of the “perfect mom,” the one who has it all together, who has a pristine house, and whose children are always well-behaved. This ideal is not only unrealistic but also damaging. Chasing perfection can leave you feeling like you’re constantly falling short, fueling feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and overwhelm. But here’s the truth: perfection doesn’t exist, and it’s not a prerequisite for being a good mom. The key to finding peace is letting go of this myth and accepting yourself as you are.
BY KRISTA HUDSON
your life. Rather, it’s something you cultivate within yourself, regardless of your external circumstances. This begins with being present, truly present, in the moment. When you’re playing with your kids, allow yourself to fully enjoy their laughter. When you’re cooking dinner, savor the smells and textures of the food. These small moments of mindfulness can create a sense of peace that sustains
and desires. Understanding what truly matters to you is essential for living a fulfilling life. Take some time to reflect on your core values; Those principles that guide your decisions and give your life meaning. Is it important for you to nurture creativity in your children? Do you value quality time with your family over a spotless home? Identifying these values helps you make choices that align with who you are, rather than who you think you should be. It also helps you recognize where boundaries need to be placed.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned as a life coach is that peace isn’t something you find by eliminating stress or chaos from
of what we have, rather than what we don’t, it helps shift our energy and mindset to one of fulfillment. We are also reminded to focus on ourselves, rather than comparing ourselves to others.
In the midst of busy lives, it’s easy to lose touch with our own values
Next, think about your desires—not just the practical ones, but the deep, sometimes hidden, longings of your heart. Do you dream of starting a small business, or maybe going back to school? Do you wish for more time for selfcare? Acknowledging these desires can be the first step toward making them a reality. Remember, your dreams are just as important as anyone else’s, and pursuing them doesn’t make you a bad mom—it makes you a fulfilled one. Remember the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Filling your cup with your desires, and living in your truest values, allows you to fill your cup, and show up as your true, authentic self every day.
{
“Do you dream of starting a small business, or maybe going back to school? Do you wish for more time for self-care? Acknowledging these desires can be the first step toward making them a reality.”
Self-love is the pillar of inner peace, but it’s often the first thing to be neglected when overwhelmed. You might feel like you don’t have time for self-care, or that prioritizing yourself is selfish. However, loving yourself isn’t about indulgence; it’s about selfcompassion and acceptance. It’s about recognizing that you’re doing your best, even when things don’t go as
planned. It’s about forgiving yourself for your perceived shortcomings and celebrating your strengths.
Motherhood is inherently chaotic, and that chaos can be beautiful when you stop fighting it and start embracing it. By accepting yourself for who you are, connecting with your values and desires, and cultivating self-love,
you can find peace in the midst of the craziness. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect to be an amazing mom. You just have to be you and that’s more than enough.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
EMBRACING THE BEAUTIFUL CHAOS
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
I’ve always been a creative person. If there’s a need for something, and it dosen’t currently exist… You BET I’m going to create it! That’s exactly what happened in 2020 with The Intentional Feminine.
In a time when community felt nonexistent…Before I tell you about the Intentional Feminine, allow me to introduce myself…
I’m Tere Marie, Founder and Host of the Intentional Feminine, and Cycle Alchemy. I’m a certified Holistic Reproductive Health Coach, Somatic Sex Educator, Astrologer, herbalist and organic farmer.
The Intentional Feminine was born out of a desire to reconnect community, create sacred spaces for women, showcase our local holistic and spiritual entrepreneurs, and create a welcoming, accessible space for healing and spiritual growth,
The Intentional Feminine is a space for women and Femme identifying folk who believe that within each of us, is the ability to heal and grow into our highest potential. We believe that in order to do so, we must anchor into our deepest nature and truest selves…
We believe that in order to do so, we must anchor into community. We believe that in order to do so, we share our gifts, talents and wisdom with each other. We believe that in order to do so, we lift our hands to help support and encourage our siblings/sisters.
We do this with a spirit of openness to the process, willingness to access the
BY TERE MARIE
deepest, truest self, by sharing our wisdom with the community and developing a relationship of trust with our inner selves.
So what IS The intentional Feminine?
The Intentional Feminine is a restorative, accessible day-retreat, celebrating the healer within. The Intentional Feminine is a collection of local holistic health and wellness providers, practitioners, intuitive readers, workshop facilitators, healers, artists and makers who come together for a day of promoting self love, deep nourishment, and sharing their wisdom, gifts and talents with their community.
In this build-your-own-retreat, you can create your own, full day experience by choosing from the day’s included activities such as yoga, breathwork, tantra workshops, EFT workshop, belly dance, pelvic floor health workshop, healing sound immersion, a women’s circle and more. You can choose to add on intuitive and energy services such as tarot, reiki, bodywork, oracle cards, Human Design, and more. You can learn from a full schedule of Speakers throughout the day, covering topics such as leadership, meditation, therapeutic modalities, herbal medicine, mindfulness, spirituality and womb care. You will be nourished with farm to table meals, enjoyed as you relax on the serene and vibrant lands of Wyllie Fox Farm, a 20+ year certified organic farm, located just west of Syracuse, NY. One of the most beautiful ‘things’ you will walk away from this day with are the connections that will last a lifetime.
This year, we meet on Saturday,
September 14, 2024. We are thrilled to host 7 incredible speakers, covering topics from herbalism to therapeutic approaches to healing trauma to pelvic health, Human Design and so much more.
Participants can choose from over 9 workshops throughout the day, ranging from yoga to sound immersion to cacao ceremony to Sacred Lotus Ceremony, Breathwork and more.
Nourishing, organic, farm to table meals are provided throughout the day. As our name would imply, the Intentional Feminine is a woman-forward collective. While supporting women is at our core, we are also an inclusive event. We recognize and respect that not ALL people who are interested in this work are assigned female at birth, or currently identify as “woman/women”.
We welcome all who are interested in attending this event with respect, honor and a sense of curiosity about what the feminine means to them. This is a safe space to celebrate and explore yourself, no matter where you are on the gender spectrum. YOU are welcome here.
ALL OF YOU is welcome here.
I would LOVE to invite you to invest in yourself, and experience this life changing event.
To find out more about the event, or join our mailing list for information about NEXT year’s event, please visit www.theintentionalfeminine.com
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
HAVE YOU BEEN SLEEPING WELL?
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
BY KELLY METRAS
Then please skip this article.
In a recent episode of Getting Real with BOSSY, we spoke about the importance of sleep on the brain. We all know that the research is out there- that poor sleep leads to poor health and poor brain function. We crave crappier foods, caffeine, and have less patience, and are less cognitively attuned to the day. When thinking about sleep, consider the commercial: “This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs.” For those not an 80s kid, the “brain” is a whole egg still in its shell, and the “on drugs” is the egg being cracked into a frying pan. Well, here is the brain whole with consistently uninterrupted 7-8 hours of sleep, and here is the brain cracked and scrambled as a small business owner… GO TO BED.
Okay. [lays down]
Money. Sales are down- consumer spending is decreasing. Interest rates are so high that I don’t think I can even pay back anything I borrow to get me to the next season and hope things go back to normal.
Maybe my sales are down because I suck. My product sucks. My staff sucks. Maybe my customer has changed completely. Where are they and how do I get them back?
Flow into advertising, collaborations, stalking other businesses on social and then going into a doom scroll.
Put down the phone.
Stop being stupid. You have been at this for a long time. Think of what you know and how you can implement it. What has worked in the past? Who do you
need to coach to be better at their job? Who needs to be let go? What can you do tomorrow, next week, next month to move forward?
Will there be enough money to get there? What if people stop buying my product completely? My mortgage is due. The dog needs surgery. The kid wants dance lessons, and small business owners are only half there a lot of the time, so sign them up out of guilt.
Should we pay for ads on Google and social media? Do people listen to the radio? How much is a billboard these days? What about those guys that flip signs on the street? They keep doing it so maybe it works.
[insert doing the math on designing and printing a sign and paying someone hourly rates to stand there energetically flipping a sign and thinking about how fast they will quit and the turnover and the broken signs because those things are flimsy and how in the world is there an ROI??]
It’s been a bit since we checked our email. Pick up the phone, check the email and socials to see if there are reviews or messages, and doomscroll. Ugh. Put the phone down. You know the effects of blue light on your sleep. Remember that you never painted those touch-ups and everyone will see the scuffs and think you are gross. Speaking of aesthetics, maybe you should redesign the menu. Should you remove the items that only a few people love and streamline until it gets busier? You know people will complain and then they will never return. So why bother? But you are wasting product, and the prices are going up again… Can you substitute it with something else? We NEED to
raise prices but know that everyone is struggling the same as we are. We don’t want to alienate customers- what if they get mad and don’t come back?
Pick up the phone and research random menu design tactics, and consumer trends, start looking at your app for sales trends for your business, and start thinking about changing up the schedule. Maybe you should just work all of the shifts? But other things have to get done… maybe you are married or in a relationship. When was the last time you had alone time?? Maybe you have aging parents or other family members you are not seeing nearly often enough. Can you take your mom to lunch? She just wants to see you. And those kids- if you have them- they are being neglected. So add that to the list of things. When was the last time you cleaned the toilet or vacuumed? That friend that you keep trying to make a date with. Politics.
For those who do not own a business, we understand you may also struggle and see some similarities, but the biggest difference is that we can’t take time off. We can’t quit. And if we do, it is often a very long and drawn-out process. We are women who are partners, parents, children, siblings, friends, family members, AND bosses.
A good chunk of us are in perimenopause to boot. Hot flashes, mood swings, overall hatefulness at times- maybe we should apologize to those that we spoke to yesterday. Guilt, anyone? We are tired.
How do you navigate sleep during all of this? Tell us at bossyroc@gmail.com or share with us on social @bossyroc. Good night, and sleep tight. We are here for you,
FROM AN ADOPTER
This month we have a story to feature from an adopter:
I just read this month’s newsletter and shelter stories. Though I’ve made several donations to ACS, it occurred to me I’ve never told you why your organization means so much to me.
My husband and I always wanted a dog, but long workdays and long commutes dulled the light on that possibility. It wouldn’t be right to have a dog and leave them home for so long. Then the pandemic hit, and suddenly I was fully remote and working from home. We knew the time was right.
Of course, the time was right for lots of other people too, who were also looking for dogs at that exact same time. We scoured the internet for weeks and made several visits to shelters, but didn’t find the right fit. Then my husband saw a brindle boxer-pitbull mix on your site. She was just the right age and just the right size, and he called right away.
BY THE ACS TEAM
He made the trip to Pennsylvania a few days later and met our amazing dog Nebula, then named Athena, for
And he was completely right. She’s an absolute sweetheart and is such a joy in our lives. We’re so grateful for the way you cared for her and for the way you care for all the animals that are with you, however long their stay might be. You give the extra attention and effort to really help dogs be their best selves and get ready for their forever home, whenever they find it.
the first time. He knew she was the one and brought her home that day.
“I”
IS FOR INVEST IN YOURSELF
BY LORI BRUTON
VIRTUAL ASSISTANT SERVICES TO TACKLE YOUR TO-DO LIST
Are you drowning in to-do lists and struggling to find time for what really matters in your business? I get it. As a fellow entrepreneur, I know how precious your time is. That’s why I’m here to be your secret weapon. (Spoiler Alert: Read to the end and get a FREE GIFT)
Attention: Busy Entrepreneurs, Coaches, Consultants, and Business Owners
Are you struggling to find time to create the content that truly connects with your audience? Do you wish you had more hours in the day to engage with your clients, build your brand, and scale your business?
Virtual Assistant Services Can Help
I may be the answer you’ve been looking for. For those who don’t know me, I am Lori Bruton, an experienced author, virtual assistant, freelancer, and content creator with a deep passion for helping businesses like yours thrive through the power of words and strategic engagement.
What’s Your S.I.G.N.?
What are your Strengths, Interests, Goals, and Needs? Once we identify those, you’ll realize you don’t have to do everything yourself. There is a way to focus on what you do best and leave the rest to me. It’s possible to accomplish more and do less when you ask for help.
What I Bring to the Table
• Content That Connects: I craft blog
posts, social media content, press releases, scripts, speeches, and presentations that spark conversations and build your authority.
• Books That Make an Impact: As an author, I know how to create eBooks and workbooks that your audience will use and value.
• Social Media That Sizzles: I’ll create engaging social media content that will make your followers think you’ve cloned yourself.
• Client Relationships That Last: I’ll help you nurture the connections that build rapport and foster long-term relationships.
Why Choose Me as Your Virtual Assistant?
I’m not just here to tick off tasks—I’m your partner in growth. By outsourcing your content creation needs to me, you’ll reclaim precious time to focus on what you do best, while I ensure a steady stream of polished, professional content.
Let’s Collaborate to Achieve Your Business Goals
Imagine having someone who understands your vision, speaks your language, and helps you share your message with the world. That’s me. I’m not just hired help—I’m invested in your success. Let’s chat about how I can help you shine. Your future self will thank you for it.
How I Can Help You as a Virtual Assistant
As a virtual assistant with a passion for writing and content creation, I bring more than just administrative support. I bring creativity, expertise, and the ability to craft compelling content that resonates with your target audience. Here are some services I offer:
Do You Need Help With:
• Data Entry
• CRMs
• Administrative Tasks
• Writing Blog Posts
• Crafting Impactful Speeches and Scripts
• Press Releases
• Case Studies
• Repurposing Videos, Audios, and Podcasts
• Social Media Content
• Course Creation
• Information and Educational Copy
• Presentations
• Creating Engaging eBooks and Workbooks
These are a few services I provide. We can customize a package just for you. I’m here to ensure your message stands out in a crowded market.
Jim Rohn said, “You don’t get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour.” I bring value and I only work with those who value me. The right fit is essential. If we’re the right fit, great. If not, I can make a referral and point you to opportunities you may not know exist.
What Can a Virtual Assistant Do ?for You?
Smart business owners know the value of finding writers who understand their
“Semaglutide is a GLP-1 (Glucagon like peptide 1) receptor agonist that is the latest craze in the bariatric world of weight loss.” { THE LORI FACTOR }
niche. In a world full of copywriters, not all possess the skill set required to create truly impactful content.
What Do I Offer That Will Enhance Your
Message?
• Content Creation: I write from the heart, capturing attention, inviting engagement, and building your authority in your niche.
• Book and Workbook Development: As an author, I understand how to create eBooks, workbooks, and guides that provide real value to your audience.
• Social Media Support: From captivating captions to complete content creation, I ensure your social media presence is engaging and aligned with your brand voice.
• Client Engagement: I help you build meaningful relationships with your clients by creating content that speaks directly to their needs, enhancing loyalty and trust.
Tim Ferriss said, “Virtual Assistants are the secret weapons of successful people.”
Valuable Benefits of Me Serving You:
• More Time, More Focus: Imagine reclaiming your time to focus on the core aspects of your business while I handle the content and communication that drive growth.
• Professional, Polished Content: With my background in writing, you can trust that every piece of content I create will be professional, polished, and tailored
to your voice and goals.
• Increased Engagement and Visibility: My content strategies are designed not just to inform but to engage, converting casual followers into loyal customers or clients.
• Flexibility and Scalability: Whether you need ongoing content support or help with a specific project, I offer flexible services that scale with your business.
• Local Presence: The readers of this publication are typically local. Although I work virtually, having local access is an advantage.
• Native English Speaker: There is no language barrier or time zone difference, which is another asset. If that doesn’t matter, I can make a referral.
Your Success Is My Priority
This article is about you and giving you options. In order to do that, I needed to tell you about me and how I can help your business thrive.
I’m not just a virtual assistant; I’m a strategic partner committed to helping you grow your business through the art of communication and connection. Refer to written recommendations on my LinkedIn. Further proof is found in my growing portfolio and published articles, available upon request. You can also search for me in issues of this publication of Rochester Woman Online magazine. Read Recipe for Sweet Success in the last issue.
Let’s work together to create content that not only reflects your brand’s unique story but also drives results and lightens your load.
Lori to the Rescue
You deserve to enjoy success without burnout. Email me at hello@loribruton. com to explore how I can support your business goals. Freedom and flexibility await.
FREE GIFT
Whether or not you need a Virtual Assistant (VA), I have a couple questions: Do you need referrals? Do you want to turn your ideas into articles and books yourself?
Claim it here and in the comment section of the form, type FREE GIFT.
Together, we can accomplish more and soar.
SPEAKS }
A CHILDS SMILE: FOSTER CARE JOURNEY { KARMA
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
The road traveled where I raised my kids seemed to come to an end, and the bittersweet feeling of having raised little people into adults who no longer needed nor relied on me left me wondering whats next. As we all have come to know, i’m an ever changing and forever searching for my purpose in life. I once as a child asked my mom why she wasn’t a foster mom, as it seemed kids always found their way into her home. Sometimes a few days, some weeks to months, but always seeking out the comfort of my mother’s words, and her hospitality. Her response was she didn’t have time for that, as she already had other people’s kids always around. She said she would leave that to me when I grew up.
I always entertained the thought and looked into it a few times, yet in the midst of raising my own children, working through my own personal struggles and life, it was never the right time. But alas, whenever is the right time for anything? As I began to recognize the empty place in my heart I decided to once again to actively take the steps to become a foster care mom.
Background checks, physicals, references and training sessions consumed our time, and before we knew it we were 1 session away from being certified. It was then that we received a call from the agency we ate affiliated with, asking if we would be willing to take out first placement. After we completed our final steps of course. It seemed to happen so fast and with very little details. I am a
BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD
firm believer in things happening for a reason, and so my answer was yes.
Within about 3 weeks from that call, we did what I do best, and worked under pressure to put a room together with toys, beds, games and clothes for 2 girls who were coming to live here with us. I have wonderful friends who donated items as well as time to help me get it all in order. With no clue of what the gals would bring into our life, we welcomed them with open arms for one and fist bumps for the other.
I wondered, would they like it here, would they like us? What could go wrong, or what could go right? The whirlwind of recreating a home for kids wasnt expected to happen so fast, but like anything and everything I’ve ever done, this was no different. We just do what needs to be done.
I told myself to hold no expectations, as kids in the system are already at a disadvantage and my job is to nurture, teach and keep safe. To learn along side of the children and other individuals who have taken on this role. I am sometimes teaching toddler skills to older children who should know these things, but do not. I must take a step back and recognize that when kids lack parenting and are left to fend for themselves these things we deem as basic, are foreign for them. Just surviving becomes the basic skills when children are living through trauma responses. A month and a half has taught me alot. First of all, yes I am my best version when I am taking care of others. Also, the feeling
of watching children flourish and get excited about simple pleasures of life, will never stop amazing me. I have no idea what the future holds for them, but as long as they are allowed to be with me, this is their home. I’ve learned some things are not as important as I used to think when it comes to raising kids. My adult children are proof that no matter what, time does not wait and children become adults. They came into town, all of them recently and were able to meet the girls, and the new version of the mom they knew who was somewhat strict. Now a little softer, with a lot less rules, and a couple more gray hairs on her head. Trying to let kids be kids, who may have never been able to be. Learning what smores are, and how to ride a bike. Having a routine, and earning money to spend. Getting brand new shoes and a full back pack and waving to 2 people as you sit on a school bus headed to a new school, with a smile on your face. Knowing they will be there at home waiting for you when the day is done.
I was asked by my girlfriends if I regret this decision. Is it a challenge? Absolutely. But regret it? Never. I will never regret being the reason a child smiles.
Thank you to Glove House for all the wonderful people involved and getting me through the process.
