On our cover of the October/November 2024 edition we have Maisha Beard, photographed by Christopher Johnson. Makeup provided by Crystal Brown Kemp. ON OUR COVER TT
Dear Readers,
I am beyond thrilled to introduce our October/November edition, featuring a truly remarkable cover woman: Maisha Beard. Known with pride as “I Am Cheryl’s Daughter,” Maisha’s journey shines as a testament to resilience, purpose, and the power of legacy. Shaped by her mother’s unbreakable spirit, Maisha carries forward Cheryl’s strength, embodying the values of love, courage, and determination that her mother instilled. This title is more than just a name to her—it is a tribute to Cheryl’s memory, guiding Maisha as she leaves her own mark on the world.
As the founder of The Maisha Experience, LLC, Maisha has already touched countless lives as a speaker, author, poet, and creator. Now, with the formation of her nonprofit, Mai’Mission Inc., she’s working to address critical gaps in breast cancer awareness, especially among Black women, who face additional barriers in healthcare. Her advocacy goes beyond awareness; Maisha is dedicated to empowering women to take proactive steps in their breast health, aiming for a future where every woman has access to quality care and early detection. Her tireless work is not only a tribute to her mother but a gift to women everywhere.
In this issue, you’ll also find feature stories that inspire, uplift, and celebrate our local community. We’re spotlighting ROC the Dogs Rescue, a vital organization dedicated to giving animals a second chance. We’re also excited to introduce incredible women like Amanda Nothnagle and showcase Hongo Brand Skincare, which is making waves in the beauty world with its innovative approach. And, as always, you’ll find wisdom and insights from our regular columnists who continue to bring depth, encouragement, and joy to every edition. Lastly, mark your calendars for some of our upcoming events, which promise to make this season extra special! Join us on November 17 at the Holiday Inn Downtown Rochester for our 2nd Annual Women, Wine & Shopping Day to benefit the Ronald McDonald House Charities. And we’re thrilled to bring back our 8th Annual Holiday Market on December 1, also at the Holiday Inn, where you’ll find unique gifts and maybe even a new furry friend looking for a forever home. Thank you for your ongoing support and for being a cherished part of the Rochester Woman Online family. This magazine is a celebration of strength, resilience, and community— qualities that each of our stories embodies. I hope you enjoy reading as much as we’ve enjoyed creating it for you.
With gratitude,
Kelly Breuer Publisher, Rochester Woman Online Magazine
{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }
PUBLISHER
FREELANCE EDITOR
CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN
LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER
PHOTOGRAPHY
Kelly Breuer
Marisa Zeppieri
Kelly Breuer
Chris Johnson
Kameron Ashford
Brandon Vick WeShootFilms
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
ADVERTISING SALES
SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR
WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT
Christopher “GoodKnews” Cardwell
Elena Dilai
Maisha Beard
Lisa Wagner
Denise “Karma” Clifford
Ashley Zeiner
Kelly Metras
Kelly Bush
Nicole Doyley
The ACS Team
Joanne Ryan
Veronica Ryan
Anne Leah Mauro
Tere Marie
Christine Piacentino
Lori Bruton
Raeanne Lacatena
Robin DeWind
Krista Hudson
Sara Minnamon
Lindsay Obrien Couchman
Susan Carmen Duffy
Emily Ruth
Amanda Nothnagle
Kaitlyn Vitozzi
Kelly Breuer
Network Rochester
Network Rochester
MAISHA BEARD
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Introducing Maisha Beard: I am Cheryl’s Daughter
We are thrilled to present Maisha Beard, the latest cover woman for Rochester Woman Online, whose story is one of profound resilience, transformation, and purpose. Maisha’s journey has been shaped by both great loss and extraordinary love, serving as an example of how life’s challenges can mold us into our truest selves. Driven by her mother’s indomitable spirit and memory, Maisha describes herself as “Cheryl’s Daughter,” a title she holds with deep pride and reverence. It signifies her mother’s strength and legacy, qualities that continue to guide Maisha as she carves out her own impactful path.
As the founder of The Maisha Experience, LLC, a speaker, author, poet, and now the creator of a nonprofit, Mai’Mission Inc., Maisha works tirelessly to inspire, advocate, and uplift. Her organization honors her mother’s legacy, focusing on supporting breast cancer awareness, especially among Black women, who face disproportionate challenges in both diagnosis and treatment. Through her advocacy, Maisha is committed to closing the gaps in healthcare, encouraging proactive breast health, and ensuring every woman has access to quality care.
Maisha’s journey is a testament to love, purpose, and resilience. Each of her professional roles—from her voice-over work to her public speaking—intersects with her mission to serve and inspire, demonstrating her unwavering dedication to her community. Her story is one that speaks to the heart, and through it, she is creating ripples of change, leaving a legacy that will inspire generations. Join us in celebrating
and the causes closest to her heart.
Tell us a little about yourself, Maisha. How did you become the person you are today?
Wow, what a profound question! The full answer could fill the pages of a memoir. I am continuously on a journey of “becoming” the highest and truest version of myself. In this
moment, I am who I am because of my beloved late Mommy, Cheryl Denise Moore. Losing her to breast cancer left an ache that reshaped my very existence. Since that fateful morning of March 23, 2023, at 4:13 a.m., I have been reborn, navigating a world forever altered by her absence. Behind the cover of this publication stands a woman who has had to relearn how to live and breathe without her. Who am I? I’m still figuring that out. But I transmute pain into purpose and obstacles into opportunities. I strive to embody loving kindness, always circling back to love, even in my most human moments.
You describe yourself as “Cheryl’s Daughter.” What does that title mean to you, and how does it influence your journey?
Being “Cheryl’s Daughter” means carrying the spirit of the strongest, most courageous woman I know. Her strength keeps me breathing, and her courage pushes me through the pain of her passing. I am the living testament of her nurturing spirit. Being her eldest is a gift that no one can take away. I speak of her in the present tense because it lifts my heart; she is with me, always. I AM Cheryl’s Daughter!
What does the “Maisha Experience” encompass, and what do you hope people take away from it?
The Maisha Experience, LLC, is a
PHOTOS BY CHRIS JOHNSON, BRANDON VICK, CHRIS CARDWELL, KAMERON ASHFORD
“I aim
to raise awareness about life’s fragility and the necessity of proactive breast health, especially among Black women, who face staggering disparities.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
celebration of authenticity. It’s about using my voice to inspire and offer insights drawn from my life. One of my main speaking topics is “Breast Cancer – Why my mother?” I aim to raise awareness about life’s fragility and the necessity of proactive breast health, especially among Black women, who face staggering disparities. Black women have the highest mortality rate from breast cancer, with healthcare disparities, socio-economic factors, and environmental influences contributing to this crisis. My mother’s story is one of perseverance; as a nurse, she inspired me to advocate for the health of Black women. I’m committed to carrying forward her legacy as a 3 time breast cancer survivor and advocate.
According to the American Cancer Society, Black women have a 38% higher breast cancer mortality rate than white women, despite a lower incidence. It’s vital we address these disparities through systematic efforts to ensure access to highquality screening and treatment for every woman. For more information on ongoing initiatives, visit American Cancer Society’s VOICES of Black Women study.
voice-over artist? How do these roles intersect in your work?
My father, Dr. James L. Beard, is a remarkable speaker whose influence guided me to find my own voice. After separating from my husband in 2009, I poured my emotions into writing my first poem, igniting a
Mayors. Each thread of my career is woven with purpose, striving to close the racial wealth gap and uplift our community.
Can you share the story behind starting your non-profit, Mai’Mission Inc.? What motivated you to create
Mai’Mission Inc. was birthed from profound pain and heartache, yearning for my beloved Mommy. After her last breath on March 15, 2024, at 4:13 a.m., I knew I had to find purpose in my pain. I promised her I would continue her legacy of caring for others. That’s why we’ll offer the Cheryl Denise Moore Scholarship for future nurses, starting in 2026.
What inspired you to become a speaker, writer, author, poet, and
passion that only grew. Now, with a Master’s Degree in English focused on Creative Writing, all my roles intersect beautifully. I’ve voiced commercials for the City Government, represented Mayor Evans at various engagements, and served as a speechwriter for former
We aim to partner with schools, supporting high school seniors who maintain a GPA of 3.0 or higher, providing reference letters and essays about the importance of breast health. Our mission also includes partnering with organizations to support breast cancer patients, offering resources and advocacy, and helping survivors feel beautiful again through our “I’m a Survivor” photoshoot— all free of charge. Mai’Mission Inc. is my mother’s legacy, rooted in love, a beacon of hope.
What do you think is the most important aspect of raising awareness about breast cancer?
For me, as a Black woman, recognizing
“Being “Cheryl’s Daughter” means carrying the spirit of the strongest, most courageous woman I know.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
the harsh reality that we have the highest mortality rate from breast cancer is essential. It’s heartbreaking! As noted by the American Cancer Society, despite improvements in survival rates, significant disparities remain. We must ensure access to high-quality screening and treatment for every woman. The ACS recently launched the VOICES of Black Women study, aiming to understand cancer risk and outcomes better. You can learn more and participate at voices.cancer.org
I participate in this study because I am dedicated to dismantling disparities and lowering the mortality rate among Black women. We cannot remain silent—our lives depend on it!
What is the most powerful message you’ve received in your life, and how did it change you?
The most powerful message came from my mother on her deathbed: “Maisha, there’s nothing that you can’t do. You are my daughter! You make me proud!” This affirmation ignites my spirit as I strive to prove her right, earning my Master’s degree in English while grieving her death, and now pursuing my second Master’s in Public Administration with a focus on public policy and the nonprofit sector. Her words guide me as I work to serve others with love and dedication as she served as a nurse
until Cancer stopped her. Cancer is an evil beast and is relentless. It took my Mommy and I will fight against it for as long as live!
What is the most impactful message you’ve given to others through your work as a speaker?
During the 2024 Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk, I served as EMCEE and invited the audience
to say the names of their angels. I encouraged survivors and those currently in treatment to share their names, creating a powerful moment of love and remembrance. In that space, everyone felt seen, cherished, and empowered, reminded of their inherent worth.
You refer to yourself as a “Sunflower Soul & Goddess.” What does that mean to you, and how does it reflect your personality?
“I know that life may seem a bit strange at times, but through all of the pain and confusion, you have to remain divine…” These lyrics from Londrelle’s music resonate deeply with me. A sunflower always turns toward the sun, standing tall through the rain. I embody this spirit—a “Sunflower Soul”—a reminder that my life reflects my mindset. The term “Goddess” signifies my belief that I manifest my reality through the divine will of The Most High Creator. I am a Sunflower Soul Goddess!
Who has been your biggest inspiration in life, and why do they hold such significance
This is a tough question! My biggest inspiration is my father. He has overcome incredible obstacles—transforming from addiction to a Domestic Violence Intervention Specialist who has saved over 10,000 men from their own darkness. Even after surviving a stroke, he stood as a pillar of support for me and my siblings after Mommy’s passing. Their bond, despite their separation, was a testament to love and family, guiding me through my own journey.
How do you balance your roles as a creative professional, non-profit leader, and advocate?
Ha! Ask me again next year!
“ I am continuously on a JOURNEY of “becoming” the highest and TRUEST VERSION of myself. In this moment, I am who I am because of my BELOVED late Mommy, Cheryl Denise Moore. ”
“Her story is one that speaks to the heart, and through it, she is creating ripples of change, leaving a legacy that will inspire generations.”
What has been the most rewarding moment in your journey with Mai’Mission Inc. so far?
Being the EMCEE for the American Cancer Society’s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer event has been a truly illuminating experience, allowing me to honor my mother’s legacy and share my mission. How do you hope to inspire others
through your story and your work?
I leave it to the hearts of those I touch; each person receives what they need for their personal journey. May my story be a flicker of hope that ignites their own light.
Looking ahead, what are your goals for yourself, The Maisha Experience, and Mai’Mission Inc.?
I aspire to be a radiant beacon for those who are hurting, to provide hope for those who feel lost, and to keep my mother’s legacy alive through Mai’Mission Inc. “When a wound is healed in love, it leaves a beautiful scar.” Mommy is healed now, an angel watching over me. She entrusted me with her legacy—a beautiful scar I carry with love.
AMANDA NOTHNAGLE
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Amanda. Could you start by telling us a little about yourself and what inspired you to share your journey with others?
Hi! I want to express my deepest gratitude for this opportunity to share my story. I’m a single mom working full time, and I recently started a holistic cleaning business. I have a slight obsession with houseplants, I enjoy listening to podcasts and music, I love DIY projects, taking walks, nature, nurturing my faith, and spending quality time with my kids.
I felt inspired to share my journey because I believe that by being open about my experiences, I can connect with others facing similar struggles. My hope is to create a sense of understanding and to encourage those who might feel isolated or overwhelmed. It’s important to remind people that they’re not alone and that there’s strength in sharing our stories.
October was Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Why do you feel it is so important to share your story during this time, and what message do you hope to send to others who may be going through similar experiences?
feel seen, heard, and supported.
I want others who may be going through similar experiences to know they are not alone. There is strength in vulnerability, and sharing our journeys can empower us and others to seek help and healing.
You mentioned that your story involves experiences with domestic abuse, loss,
October being Domestic Violence Awareness Month offers a platform to illuminate an issue that often remains hidden in silence and shame. By sharing my story, I hope to contribute to a collective narrative that fosters community and understanding. It’s vital to create a space where survivors
toward healing and survival?
My children were born between 2020/2021 during the height of Covid. After their births, I found myself struggling with severe postpartum depression and anxiety. I tried to minimize and suppress my pain for so long to avoid being a burden that it started to take a toll on my mental
health. I began to experience dark, intrusive thoughts and self-sabotaging behaviors, which prompted me to seek counseling. I often reached out to the kids dad at work, feeling overwhelmed and asking for a few hours of help. Although he worked nearby and had a flexible schedule, my requests for support didn’t receive the response I had expected given the awareness of the situation.
I often felt like my struggles with postpartum depression and the significant life changes were minimized. Managing two infants while taking care of an entire household for the first time was a huge and life altering change. I know many women can relate, and some might even think, “That’s just life when you’re married with kids.” I began to realize that in a supportive environment, being vulnerable and asking for help should be met with understanding. My basic needs to survive were ignored, which made my healing process extremely challenging. I was expected to fall into a gender role, I had no voice which became extremely toxic for my mental health.
During this transformative time, I found myself relying on coping mechanisms that weren’t healthy, leading to selfsabotaging behaviors as I navigated the extreme feelings of abandonment. My efforts to communicate my emotional struggles repeatedly went unheard, and my attempts to cope sometimes drew unwanted attention.
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }
“Finding hope and faith after such traumatic experiences was definitely a gradual process. I allowed myself to feel the full range of my emotions, rather than suppressing them.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Becoming a mother helped me see the unhealthy relationship patterns I had adopted during childhood which most likely contributed to my postpartum depression and anxiety. With encouragement from my counselor, I began exploring topics like attachment styles, childhood trauma, and coping mechanisms to better understand how I process emotions.
Ultimately, I reached a difficult realization: despite my efforts to communicate my struggles with postpartum depression, the support I desperately needed to navigate understanding led me to make a necessary decision: I needed to create space for self-love and healing, so I could be the best mom and person I could be.
Can you share with us some of the challenges you faced during your darkest moments, and how you found the strength to keep going?
There were many days in the past year when I felt completely overwhelmed and on the brink of giving up. The weight of suffering, the emotional pain, the loss, and grief was immense. In those dark moments, I even started making lists of the pros and cons of my children having a mom in their lives. This helped me realize how absurd it was to think my kids would be better off without me. Writing everything down forced me to confront the extreme emotions I was experiencing and became vital in processing my feelings. I began to understand that, despite the extremes, my presence truly mattered. Even in the depths of despair, I recognized that
my children needed me and that there was hope for healing ahead.
What role did the loss of your dad, close friend and family play in your journey, and how did you navigate the grief and trauma that came with those experiences?
That period was the absolute most challenging time of my life. Just five months after leaving my marriage, I faced a traumatic loss of a very close friend, followed by my father’s passing just five days later.
I somehow learned to embrace the chaos, messy as it was, and in that messiness, I figured out how to process my emotions, tackle conflict, and receive feedback. It’s been a raw and transformative time for me, and I’m determined to keep pushing forward.
Surviving the ‘quantum waves of trauma,’ as you put it, is no small feat. What helped you cope with the overwhelming emotions during those times?
After everything I went through, I found myself completely shattered and unsure of where to turn. A series of coincidences led me to attend a service at Encounter Church in Chili. I had no idea how much healing I could find through my faith - though that might sound a bit surprising to some.
This community has been instrumental in my healing process. Their unwavering support, love, grace, and compassion have provided me with a safe space to begin rebuilding my life. I honestly can’t say where I would be right now
without that community and my faith.
What advice would you give to other women who may be walking a similar path of trauma and survival, especially those who feel they may never find a way out?
You matter. Your needs, your voice, your thoughts, and your feelings are important. You deserve healthy, reciprocal love. Your worth is not determined by one person or a group of people. You are human, you have the right to make mistakes, grow and reflect on yourself. You can choose to make changes that align with your true beliefs, rather than conforming to the conditioning we all face.
You are not disposable, you have a purpose and no one can take that from you. You are not alone.
How did you begin to find hope and rebuild your life after surviving such traumatic experiences?
Finding hope and faith after such traumatic experiences was definitely a gradual process. I allowed myself to feel the full range of my emotions, rather than suppressing them. I sought counseling, which provided a safe space to explore my feelings and begin to understand my experiences.
Engaging in self-care became crucial. I focused on activities that brought me joy, like spending time with my children, nurturing my faith, and immersing myself in nature. These moments helped me reconnect with what truly mattered in my life.
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }
“My journey has really transformed how I think about self-care, self-worth, and mental health.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
I also leaned into sharing my story with others who could relate. Connecting with fellow moms reminded me that I wasn’t alone and that healing was possible. Each small step I took—whether it was setting goals for my future or finding new ways to cope—helped me rebuild my sense of self and purpose.
Ultimately, I learned that hope is not a destination but a journey. It’s about recognizing the strength within me to keep moving forward, even when the path feels extremely uncertain.
You mentioned that it feels like a miracle that you’re still here. Looking back, what do you believe has been the most miraculous part of your journey?
Looking back, I believe my ability to rise from the depths of challenges I faced and rediscover my strength has been the most miraculous. I found the courage to seek help and advocate for myself, which I once thought was impossible. The moments of clarity that emerged from the chaos were also miraculous. Each time I chose to face my pain rather than run from it, I opened the door to healing and personal growth. I realized that I could transform my suffering into a source of strength, not just for myself but for my children as well.
Connecting with others who have faced similar struggles has been another miracle. These relationships have reinforced the idea that vulnerability can lead to profound connections, reminding me that I’m not alone in this journey.
Ultimately, the journey itself—filled with lessons, growth, and resilience—feels like a miracle. It has shown me that even in the darkest moments, there is always a path toward light and hope.
What role did your support system— friends, family, or any organizations— play in helping you through your recovery?
I had little to no contact with family, friends, or community during this time, which fuels my desire to share my story. I want others to understand that you can rebuild your life, even when it feels like everything is stacked against you and when the pain seems endless. Even when you don’t want to wake up another day feeling this way. You can find a community and faith that will embrace you and love you in ways you never imagined.
How have your experiences shaped your views on self-care, self-worth, and the importance of mental health?
My journey has really transformed how I think about self-care, self-worth, and mental health. I’ve come to realize that self-care isn’t just a luxury; it’s something I need to do to survive and heal. Taking time for myself has become essential— not just for me, but for my kids, too. I’ve learned that if I don’t take care of myself, I can’t be the mom they need and deserve.
I’ve also discovered that my self-worth isn’t tied to what others think or what I’ve been through. It’s something I have to recognize within myself, regardless of the struggles I face. Embracing my worth has empowered me to set boundaries and
make choices that truly feel right for me. And mental health? It’s so important. I’ve seen how ignoring it can affect everything in life. Seeking help has been a huge part of my journey, and I now know that asking for support is actually a brave step, not a sign of weakness. Ultimately, I’ve learned that selfcare, recognizing my self-worth, and prioritizing mental health are all connected. Embracing these has been vital in rebuilding my life, and I genuinely hope to inspire others to take those steps for themselves, too.
You’re starting your own cleaning business with a focus on green cleaning products. What inspired you to embark on this entrepreneurial journey, and how does it connect to your story of survival and healing?
Since my kids were born, I’ve begun to take a deeper look at the products and foods in our home. My son developed eczema when he was very young, which prompted me to research solutions. I thought switching to natural laundry detergent might help. However, I quickly discovered that there aren’t many truly natural options available when you examine the ingredients closely.
This realization led me to explore some recipes, and I decided to make my own laundry detergent. For a long time, making my own products was something I did quietly in my own home. However, after embarking on my healing journey, I found that it became an outlet for me to truly explore my creativity and passion for natural living.
“ SURVIVORS often carry emotional scars that impact not just their MENTAL HEALTH, but also their relationships, selfesteem, and overall WELL-BEING. ”
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }
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YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“I hope to create a space where eco-friendly practices are the norm, showing people that we can care for our homes and the planet at the same time.”
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Can you tell us about the mission and vision behind your green cleaning business? Why did you choose to focus on eco-friendly products? My mission with my green cleaning business is to create healthier home environments for families while promoting sustainability. I truly believe that everyone deserves a clean space that’s free from harsh chemicals—not just for their health, but for the health of our planet, too.
I really want to help families make informed choices about the products they use in their homes. That’s why I focus on eco-friendly solutions. I want to make sure my cleaning products are safe for kids, pets, and the environment. By using natural ingredients, I aim to reduce harmful toxins that can impact health and contribute to environmental issues. Ultimately, my goal is to provide effective cleaning services that improve my clients’ quality of life while also encouraging a sense of responsibility for our planet. I hope to inspire others to think about the choices they make and how they can make positive changes in their own homes.
How has starting your business helped in your healing process, and what challenges have you faced as a new entrepreneur?
Starting my business has been a significant part of my healing journey. It provided me with a sense of purpose and empowerment, allowing me to channel my energy into something positive. Creating a holistic cleaning business not only gave me an extra way to support my family but also helped
me regain confidence in my abilities. Every successful project and satisfied client reinforces my belief in myself and my worth.
However, the journey hasn’t been without challenges. As a new business owner, I’ve faced obstacles like building a customer base, managing my time effectively, and navigating the complexities of running a business while being a single mom. There have been moments of self-doubt and uncertainty, especially when juggling the demands of entrepreneurship with parenting.
Additionally, I’ve had to learn how to market my services and manage finances, which can be overwhelming at times. Yet, each challenge has taught me resilience and adaptability. I’m learning to embrace the journey, celebrate small victories, and continue moving forward, knowing that every step I take is part of my healing and growth.
What advice would you give to others who have faced trauma and are now looking to rebuild their lives through entrepreneurship?
My advice to anyone who has faced trauma and is looking to rebuild their lives through entrepreneurship is to start by believing in yourself. Acknowledge the strength you’ve shown in overcoming challenges and use that as a foundation for your new journey.
Your past doesn’t define your future. You have the power to create a life that aligns with your values and aspirations. Embrace the journey and trust in your ability to rebuild. Connect with other
business owners, ask questions and just go for it!
What are some of the most important lessons you’ve learned about resilience and perseverance through both your personal and professional journeys?
Embracing vulnerability has been crucial for me. Recognizing that it’s okay to be vulnerable has allowed me to share my struggles, fostering connections with others and enabling me to receive support when I needed it most.
Adaptability is also essential. Life is unpredictable, and being flexible— whether in my approach to business or in finding new coping strategies for personal challenges—has helped me navigate tough times.
I’ve found it important to celebrate even the smallest victories. Acknowledging these achievements keeps me motivated and reminds me of the progress I’ve made, especially during difficult periods. Ultimately, resilience and perseverance aren’t about avoiding difficulties; they’re about how we respond to them and the strength we find within ourselves to keep moving forward.
As you look forward, what are your hopes for your cleaning business, and what impact do you hope it will have on the community?
As I look ahead, I have a vision for my cleaning business that goes beyond just providing a service. I hope to create a space where eco-friendly practices are the norm, showing people that we can care for our homes and the planet at the same time.
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }
{
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“I felt inspired to share my journey because I believe that by being open about my experiences, I can connect with others facing similar struggles.”
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
I want my business to be a source of support for my community, offering not just cleaning services but also education about the benefits of using natural products.
My aim is to inspire others to make healthier choices for their families and the environment.
Beyond that, I hope to build connections with my clients, fostering a sense of trust and community. I want my business to be a safe space where people feel valued and understood, just as I’ve sought that for myself.
Ultimately, my hope is that my cleaning business will not only bring a sense of cleanliness and peace to people’s
homes but also contribute to a larger conversation about sustainability and wellness in our community.
What do you wish more people understood about the long-term effects of domestic abuse and trauma, and how can we as a community better support survivors like yourself?
I wish more people understood that the long-term effects of trauma can be profound and far-reaching. Survivors often carry emotional scars that impact not just their mental health, but also their relationships, self-esteem, and overall well-being. Healing isn’t a linear process; it can involve setbacks and ongoing challenges that outsiders might not see.
To better support survivors, I believe the community can start by fostering a culture of empathy and understanding. This means listening without judgment and offering support in a way that honors each person’s unique journey. It’s important to create safe spaces where people feel comfortable sharing their experiences without fear of stigma or disbelief.
Ultimately, compassion and awareness can make a huge difference. By standing together and advocating for understanding, we can help break the cycle of silence and empower those who have faced trauma to heal and rebuild their lives.
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ASHLEY ZEINER
Tell us a little bit about yourself and what made you decide to become a NYS Licensed Real Estate Associate Broker.
I was actually going to go to law school when I was recruited by a Realtor who kept coming into where I worked at the time and would Watch me interact with people and he kept telling me how amazing I would be in Real Estate. I decided to take the course and dive in and luckily my business took off so quickly that I decided that was my path in life. So I did not attend law school. It was the best decision I ever made. I have been in the real estate business for 14 years now. I love every day of it.
What initially drew you to the world of real estate, and how has your passion evolved over the years?
Back in the day, I was interning at probation and there was another probation officer who was also a Realtor and she talked about how much she loved it. That’s what first spiked my interest. I grew up with my father who was in construction so I spent a lot of afterschool hours and weekends in new builds and on job sites helping him install flooring. I got to know the structure of houses very well young age. It always interested me and then when I got recruited I felt it was meant to be. Every day that I am working (yes, I work everyday, I do not take a day off) I learn something new and my love for Real Estate grows. You are apart of one of the biggest decisions of someone’s life and they put
their trust in you. That is huge to me. To be able to make a difference daily and help people achieve their goals, it is truly so rewarding.
You recently got married— congratulations! Can you share some of the highlights from your wedding day and what this new chapter means to you?
single Mom, I always wanted to be married to the right person to grow a beautiful life with which is exactly what we are doing. My life feels like a dream come true!
How do you balance the demands of being a wife and mom with your successful real estate career?
Thank you! We did a very small ceremony with our best friends and closest family members. It was absolutely perfect! We will do the big Wedding next year which will be amazing as well. This was small, intimate and right on the Bay, the day was beautiful, clouds were perfect. Our good friend married us who I work with as well! We were very happy. Being married to me means a lot for many reasons, coming from being raised by a single Dad and then later adopted by a wonderful
What is balance? Haha. I get asked this question quite often and I just make it happen. I also have six dogs, run a Cleaning/ Clean Out Business and my husband and I have a supplement company (Viable Supplements) so it can be challenging at times. I do work 7 days a week but I always make time on my Husbands days off and throughout the day I block off time blocks for Xander (my son) and our dogs. To wind down at the end of my crazy days I snuggle up with the dogs and read, it’s very relaxing. I usually finish a book within 24-48 hours! working out is always been a passion of mine as well so making time for the gym is great. My husband is wonderful and goes super early so I can go first thing in the morning before getting on with my crazy day.
What is your favorite thing about working in real estate, and what keeps you motivated?
My favorite part about being in Real Estate by far is helping people; whether it’s helping people buy their first home, sell a home they lived in for over 30 years,
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }
“Being married to me means a lot for many reasons, coming from being raised by a single Dad and then later adopted by a wonderful single Mom, I always wanted to be married to the right person to grow a beautiful life with which is exactly what we are doing. My life feels like a dream come true!”
help with an estate where someone had passed away or help someone purchase or sell an investment property. They are all rewarding for different reasons. With my knowledge, experience and relationships in the industry I truly lucky to be able to help so many people get into these homes or sell their homes. Don’t get me wrong, Real Estate is not all sunshine and rainbows. However, when I get to make the call to tell someone that their offer is accepted or when I get to go to someone’s home and present amazing offers is truly so rewarding.
What are some of the biggest challenges you have faced in your real estate career, and how have you overcome them?
We face challenges daily in Real Estate. Problems arise every single day and usually in every transaction. I have learned over the years to become a problem solver, if there is ever an issue, I will find a way to resolve it. That is a big reason why I opened my cleaning/clean out business because I was constantly getting stuck with people leaving items behind or a dirty house at a final walk through. This was and continues to be a problem so I decided to create a resolution for that. Now I am able to help multiple Realtors when this situation arises. Another rewarding part about Real Estate. We have to help in so many different ways, and a lot of times problems can cause animosity in a deal that is where I feel it is in my best interest and in my clients best interest to always try to resolve the problem amicably. We want to keep the stress down for our clients as buying and
selling homes can be stressful as it is.
How do you approach helping clients find the perfect home, and what do you think sets you apart as a real estate broker?
It is a ongoing joke that my clients call me inspector gadget. I truly believe that I do not help clients find homes, instead, it is my job to go through the homes with them, educate them point out any red flags that I see that may be problematic down the road and help guide them through the process.
When I am on showings, I do not tell my client how wonderful the home is, instead I point out anything that I see that may be a problem for them so they are well prepared, budget out any repairs that they would like to make or will need to make in the next few years and truly make sure that they are prepared for this decision. I carry things like a moisture detector, an infrared camera and an outlet detectors to make sure we are really checking everything over to put them in the very best position possible. If there is a crawlspace, I am army crawling in the crawlspace. I also am very clumsy, so it is an ongoing joke that I always find a way to get hurt. I really enjoy making the process fun along with educating my clients. There are so many moving parts in a transaction so staying on top of it, speaking with the lenders and attorneys daily and keeping the client up to date throughout the deal.
What role do relationships and trust play in your work with clients and colleagues in the real estate industry?
I say this all the time, your reputation is everything in this business. It is so important to have relationships with other agents, lenders and attorneys. Trust is key not only with these people, but your clients as well. I tell everyone all the time losing someone’s trust is never worth a deal in this industry. You have to always remain truthful and transparent. That is truly how I have become so successful over the years.
Can you share a memorable experience with a client that has made a lasting impact on you?
There are so many to choose from. But I will share a few. The first one that comes to mind is when a woman called me to sell her fathers home who had passed away. This is a very emotional time for all family members involved, and it is extremely important to take that with extreme caution and be extremely delicate. I met with her at the home, went through everything with her and I could tell this was extremely tough for her. I made sure to make her feel as comfortable as possible, and truly hold her hand through the process. She would cry to me almost every day. It was bittersweet for her to have to sell that home, but in the end, she was extremely happy and very grateful.
This was over 10 years ago and she still reaches out to me to this day to thank me for how wonderful and kind I was to her during that process. That means so much to me. Another thing that is amazing is when I am showing homes to families and their children pick out their bedrooms. It makes me so happy. But I will say there is nothing
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }
“Every day that I am working (yes, I work everyday, I do not take a day off) I learn something new and my love for Real Estate grows.”
g like finding someone a home with a fenced in yard for their dogs because we all know I am a huge dog lover.
What advice would you give to someone lookingtobuyorsellahomeintoday’smarket?
I will share with you what I share with everyone who contacts me to buy a home; interview a few agents to see who can offer you the most knowledge, experience and guidance. You truly have to have someone on your side who is readily available, eager to help and has an knowledge and experience in this business. That is everything. You have to make sure you choose a Realtor that you are comfortable with because you talk to this person daily, you are putting your trust in them to make one of the biggest financial decisions of your life. You have to have that bond and trust in them. From there, getting approved with a local lender and set up with a knowledgeable attorney with experience as well. These three people are going to be a huge part of your home buying process and having a solid team working with you is everything.
How do you stay updated with the latest market trends and changes in the real estate industry?
The real estate market is constantly changing. It is extremely important to stay on top of that, always taking classes and reading up on the current changes. I am lucky to be with a brokerage who offers extensive training and constantly helps keep us up-to-date with these changes. You learn something new every day in this business because his business is constantly changing. It’s important to be flexible and be able to roll with the changes and figure out a
way to navigate them.
What do you find most rewarding about being a real estate broker, and how does it align with your personal goals?
Growing up, I did not always have a place to call home. Being able to help people find a home is the most rewarding part for me personally. Anyone can buy a house, but it’s extremely special to find a home. The investment side of things is also amazing in the Rochester area. We have a wonderful market to purchase investment properties in. Whatever the goal is, you can have a successful Airbnb or rental whether it’s short term or long-term. Our market supports all of it. I definitely want to build a huge investment portfolio and recommend it to anyone who has that interest. My goal daily is to find a way to positively impact someones life and luckily I am able to do that in Real Estate.
What’s one piece of advice you’d give to other women striving to balance a demanding career with family life? Find ways to make time for small things like pampering yourself, getting a massage, a facial or a pedicure. Set aside time to go to a coffee shop and just read a book or do something that interests you and if you don’t have a dog, I highly recommend getting one. (Or six) They are life-changing. You definitely have to make time for yourself, but there is a way to time block and make sure you can tackle everything in a day. I truly believe you have to love what you do to be able to work and be a mom in today’s day. How has your perspective on your career and personal life changed since becoming a wife and mother?
It has always been to set a good example and be a good role model. I want my son to see that you have to work hard to get what you want in life and it is extremely rewarding. Not just financially, but mentally rewarding. I absolutely love what I do, but at the end of the day, my family does come first. Luckily, I am able to balance all of it. I’m not quite sure how but I make it happen. It is amazing having a supportive Husband who understands the hustle. We are both likeminded individuals which makes it so much easier, he understands my job, how demanding it is and is extremely supportive and I am of his.
What are your long-term goals as a real estate broker, and what do you hope to achieve in the coming years? My goal is simply to continue to help people. I will probably be showing houses when I’m 90, pushing a walker around. I would like to build a Real Estate investment portfolio, that is huge for me and I recommend it to everyone. I may eventually start a Real Estate team, I truly love helping other agents and training is definitely a passion of mine.
What do you like to do outside of real estate to unwind and recharge, especially with a busy family life? Going to the gym is huge for me, I recently just started Pilates and I absolutely love it. I mentioned before, but I love reading. I read every single night. But most importantly, I enjoy spending time with my husband, my son and our crazy dogs. Just being around them hanging around the house is everything. During the summer, my husband and I love to wake surf. It is awesome, if you haven’t tried it, I highly recommend trying it.
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joellabell
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Supporting businesses is my life's work With over 15 years of experience guiding, navigating, and building businesses, I help you see challenges from all sides and create tailored solutions for growth
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As a Syracuse, NY native with a BS in Human Services and over 15 years in community organization, program planning, and administration, I’ve successfully supported countless businesses and nonprofits I’m here to help you win by ensuring your business thrives through strategic decision-making, ongoing development, and thoughtful growth
{ QUEEN
ARTS } YOU ARE ENOUGH.
SARA MINNAMON
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
What Inspired me to pursue a career in therapy, specifically in solutionfocused therapy?
My inspiration came from the first class I took at Niagara University, intro to social work. This course spoke to me. I knew my passion was to help and empower others so they could successfully navigate life. I remember doing my first internships and having the feeling I have found my passion and career choice. Working with children in school districts that were of lower income and doing home base therapy with families struggling to keep their family intact taught me the importance of looking at solutions and implementing ways to get to those solutions rather than solely focusing on crisis and problems
Can you Share what solution-focused looks like in your sessions?
Sessions are a combination of solutionfocused and other therapeutic approaches of looking at solutions to patterns of behaviors. It is understanding where patterns and behaviors developed and the barriers and struggles, they are creating in present life. I also do EMDR for trauma and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which are very helpful in helping clients achieve their goals and work through trauma. Sessions and the type of therapy depend on the individual client and what they need to achieve goals. Solution focused therapy focuses on what can we do to accomplish goals rather than heavily focusing only on the problem. Looking at solutions and steps to move toward. Solutions allows for the client to get unstuck from the problem and the feeling that things will never get better.
How do you create a safe, comfortable and confident space for your clients to work through issues?
Our office space is a confidential private location that provides comfort. We use noise makers and a TV with relaxing music in background so one can hear sessions in the waiting room. Our personal offices are nicely decorated and comfortable for our clients. Water and tea and tissues are offered in sessions as well. I have a couch and a chair for personal preference of comfort and space/distance from me.
With 25 years of experience what are some of the biggest changes you’ve seen in the mental health field?
I have seen a very large increase in the need for mental health services. I feel that people are reaching out more to get the help they need without feeling judged. I have seen an increase in all ages, especially with the younger population of children and teenagers needing mental health services. Unfortunately, there seems to be a lack of the amount of mental health providers given the need of individuals seeking services. Many clinicians have lengthy waitlists with people in need. Due to this occurring, I have recently hired additional therapists underneath me that I supervise and train so there is more availability to help individuals in our community.
Anxiety and Depression are common issues you work with- what are some effective strategies for managing these conditions?
When working with clients with anxiety I find a few highly successful strategies to be effective. One being their self-talk
and narrative that they have in their thoughts. I often tell my clients that anxiety and negativity are besties. They go together and stick to one another. The more negative you’re thinking the more anxious you will be. Changing your narrative in her thoughts to ones that are neutral or positive will reduce anxiety. This is done by catching your negative thoughts before they start down a rabbit hole of escalating negative narratives which then leads to anxiety. Another very effective technique is breaking down anxious thoughts and “fact bombing” them. Asking yourself if there any facts supporting this negative narrative or anxious thought. Thirdly, staying present. The more we project into the future the more anxious we become. We have no control over the future, so this creates a large amount of stress. Focusing on what we can control, which is the present and immediate future.
Top effective techniques for depression would be looking at the root of the depression. Where does it seem to be stemming from?
If it stems from childhood, then there needs to be work around healing childhood wounds. If it is due to a recent situation then that’s where the focal point should be. Depression is a negative narrative in our mind and how we talk to ourselves. Being mindful of the messages we are giving to ourselves is very important. Changing negative self-talk to neutral then positive is very important in decreasing depressions. It’s also effective to look at our surroundings. Who is in our life and what kind of messages and energy are they giving to us
“I have seen a very large increase in the need for mental health services. I feel that people are reaching out more to get the help they need without feeling judged.”
that may be contributing to depression. Another effective technique is getting out of your “comfort zone” and pushing yourself to get active, get fresh air and be around things that can positively influence our mood. Our instinct is to stay in bed, lay on the couch and isolate. However, this is the worst thing we can do when depressed. This tends to make our mood worse and to allow our thoughts to ruminate with negativity. Another effective technique is to do a body scan of our emotions and to catch depression and anxiety early. Once we can identify the feelings the better, we become with being proactive with techniques. Thus, not letting the anxiety or depression get so high that it’s hard to get it back in a functional state. Body scans are checking in with us and our emotions to see where you’re at and your body. If it is moving in the wrong direction, then this is when we know we need to immediately implement techniques and not “stuff” emotions down. They will resurface, usually leading to a large emotional reaction. For Anxiety and Depression physical activity is also a very effective technique. It allows the body to release stress and increases serotonin levels and endorphins (chemicals in our body that make us feel good).
Treating Co-Dependency and what does codependency look like? How does it impact individual relationships? What trainings and techniques help with codependency?
Codependency is a behavioral condition where one person in the relationship excessively relies on another for emotional support, approval or identity. Often to the detriment of their own well-being and independence. Often in codependent
relationships that person may sacrifice their own needs and boundaries to care for their or control the other person fostering very unhealthy dynamics within the relationship and enabling unhealthy behaviors. This is often seen with an addictive partner or a partner that is highly manipulative or abusive however there’s many different types of relationships romantic, family and friendships that this can happen with another individual.
An example of this is a client I had, an individual that was in a relationship with a partner that was addicted to drugs. Due to the drug addiction, the individual client I was seeing came to therapy because they were constantly dependent on their partner’s emotional state and behaviors. This predicted their own behaviors and emotions. To make this clearer, if the addict was acting in a chaotic and unsafe manner my client would try to do everything in their power to calm the situation and walk on eggshells not to upset their partner. This would involve them doing whatever the individual is asking them to do so they don’t upset them even if that is at the cost of their own personal happiness and obligations. If their partner is having a happy good day that would mean that they are having a happy good day. If their partner is having a horrible day and is very emotionally unregulated that means they are having a terrible emotional day. Their emotions are so intertwined and dependent on their partners that their own individual identity is vague. This creates a lack of autonomy and independence, and their sole focus is on making sure that their partner is happy calm and safe.
Many times, in a codependent relationship the individual sacrifices their own boundaries or have no boundaries. Individuals and codependent relationships often become resentful, burnt out and highly anxious because they have no control over their own life or happiness and stability.
In my training, on how to help individuals who are involved in codependent relationships within their lives, there is a focus around self-awareness, boundary setting and personal growth. The recognition that there is a problem and how it is affecting their relationship and their well-being. There also needs to be a reflection on their own behavior patterns and prioritizing their own needs over the individual that they are codependent with. Another strategy is developing self-awareness understanding the root of your codependency which often stems from past trauma and your upbringing and learned behaviors. I often have clients journal and work with me on helping to identify these patterns so that they are aware of them and when they are happening and the frequency of how often they are happening. Another very important strategy is helping them understand boundaries and helping them to set healthy boundaries which often includes saying no and prioritizing their own needs over their codependence and not feeling guilty or over it or responsible. Another very important strategy is having them improve their self-esteem, building up their self-worth and focusing on their strengths and pursuing and understanding what their passions are. Separating themselves from the codependent partner and engaging in activities will
“Our
office space is a confidential private location that provides comfort. We use noise makers and a TV with relaxing music in background so one can hear sessions in the waiting room.”
l help foster personal growth and boost their confidence. Another important technique is the power of letting go of control. Understanding that you cannot control the other person’s behaviors or emotions even if the codependents partner is engaging in unsafe behaviors. The focus of control switches to what they can control which would be managing their own feelings and action rather than trying to rescue others which is the core trait of codependency.
When working with couples facing marital issues, how do you help them rebuild trust and connection in safe and private setting?
When working with couples facing marital issues it is important to establish trust with myself as a therapist along with rebuilding trust within their relationship. Couples need to trust that as their clinician you are not going to take sides and you and going to allow a safe place for them to work through their issues. One very important rule to establish is the environment in which they can talk to one another. Disrespect, name calling, talking over each other, yelling and scream at one another is not a safe environment. As a therapist, I make ground rules on how to establish coming to therapy is a safe place to share emotions. This is an example of what should be happening outside of therapy. It’s also able to discuss honesty and working to improve the relationship must be based on rebuilding trust and being consistent with actions and tools that we are working on in sessions. Holding the couple accountable for follow through and healthy ways to rebuild their relationship and trust. It is also very important to establish the
start of couples therapy together and not individually. This prevents one person from feeling like there is an alliance or possibly favorable relationship with their partner.
How has your work with Post-Partum Depression evolved, and what do you think are some common misconceptions about the condition?
My work with post-partum depression evolved with my personal experience after having my daughter. In 2007 there was not a lot of supports and the medical field was not proactive or helpful when I was reaching out for help. I remember feeling shame and embarrassment when talking to my OB/GYN and the response was here is medication and it will take 6 weeks to be effective. When I repeatedly called for help with anxiety and inability to eat or sleep there was no compassion or list of resources. I had to advocate for myself with finding a therapist and psychiatrist to help get through this difficult time. I knew as a therapist; I never wanted another new Mom to go through that alone as I felt like I had to without guidance from the medial field. I feel the culture has become more supportive over the years with more education but there is still Mom shame and guilt about have depression/ anxiety after having a baby. I think unfortunately some misconceptions are that a mom is going to harm her baby if she experiences PPD, that doesn’t want the baby or that she won’t be able to bond with the baby during a crucial time after birth. These are all misconceptions. PPD comes from a place of immense love for the child and fear of not being a good Mom. Fears the baby and
everyone else would be better without them. The thought that they are bad moms and unworthy of being a mom. A mom can still bond with their child and have a very close relationship with them. If PPD is untreated this could lead to larger issues and possibly a need for more than outpatient treatment which they now have facilities to assist with these needs.
How Important is it for women to have a supportive community while working on their Mental health?
It’s very important for women to have a supportive environment. I come across many women who are lacking solid friendships, healthy relationships and/ or family support. I created a podcast just for Women called “step outside your comfort zone” essentially this is what we all need to do to make changes in our lives and to grow. The podcast is topics that to help women feel supported and give tips and techniques to help them grow individually. Women finding their tribe is very important.
What role does self-care play in the work you do with clients, and how do you encourage your clients to prioritize their well-being?
This is one of the most challenging tasks for Women to make as a priority. I highly encourage clients to make time for their self-care and decompress. However, this is probably one of the most resisted requests. I commonly will hear women say they don’t have time to do this, they don’t know what to do, they have no one to watch their children ect.. However, if we don’t put energy back into us how do we expect to have energy for anyone or anything else. This
“ It is understanding where patterns and behaviors developed and the barriers and struggles, they are creating in present life.”
is the reason so many women are burned out, lack patience, are exhausted, and resentful. It a very hard for women to make themselves a priority and not feel guilt over doing so. This is something that is shelfful not selfish.
Can you tell about a client success story that really resonates with you, without revealing any personal details?
I started working with a client when she was 19 years old, she was explosive, suicidal, addicted to alcohol and marijuana to cope with her trauma. While working with this individual she had several hospitalizations due to suicide attempts. She had very little support from her family and her mom often was the catalyst of depressive episodes. She struggled to find her path. She worked at a local pizza place and would hostess at a diner, but these often results in missing work and not being successful due to drinking and making poor decisions. Through years of therapy, she has turned her life around. She has engaged in therapy and has worked through an enormous amount of trauma. She has entered treatment centers for her addiction. She always wanted to get better and heal. She is resilient despite her trauma and obstacles and incredible to watch. I have the honor of watching this young 19-year-old blossom into a responsible, mentally healthy young lady in her mid-20’s. She is eliminating toxic people from her life, is sober and is now living independently working a job she loves helping children in foster care. She is an inspiration and an example that you can create and accomplish goals no matter how much trauma and obstacles you feel is blocking you.
What advice do you have for individuals struggling with grief and loss and who may feel stuck in the healing process?
When working with individuals that have suffered a loss in their life it’s very important to meet the client where they are in the process. This is going to be different for each client that comes into my office. Most of the work that is done with individuals experiencing a loss is compassion, listening and helping them to heal and move along with them through the stages of grief. Education is a large part of therapy to eliminate the confusion by those various emotions and in some situations guilt. One of the biggest mistakes a therapist could make is pushing a client to move too soon, while they are grieving, Many clients find it very comforting and reassuring to talk about their loss without anyone judging them. To tell the stories that are close to their heart to the therapist so they can understand the relationship they had with that loved one and how difficult life has been without that individual in their life.
What advice would you give someone who is hesitant to seek therapy but feels they need it.
I would be empathetic that it is hard to take that first step and be vulnerable with a stranger but can be life changing. It is so important to find the right therapist that you connect with and feel you can trust. Building that rapport is a very important factor in being successful in therapy. It may take a few therapists before you find the one that makes you feel comfortable and gives you hope. I would encourage them not to give up and that they don’t have to go through life struggling. It’s also important for
them to know that there is no shame in attending therapy. Therapy is taking care of your inner mental just like we should take care of our physical health.
Who is someone that inspires you in your personal or professional life and why do they inspire you?
In my personal life my family has always inspired me to be a very hard worker and to be dedicated to my goals. My family background is filled with two generations of self-employed business owners. They were true examples of hard work, dedication and not giving up on your dreams. Opening Fingerlakes LCSW counseling services, PLLC is definitely something I attribute to the role models in my life of owning your own business and learning how to make that business be the most successful.
In my professional career, Dr. John and Dr.Julie Gottman are my role models as far as how to conduct couple and marriage counseling sessions. They are the gurus of knowing how to implement the strategies needed to repair relationships. Some of the key components to their methods is love maps, turning towards instead of away, the sound relationship house theory, relationship resolution, and creating shared meaning. The Gottman’s research has shown it’s not the frequency of the conflict that matters but how couples handle it. Their work emphasizes emotional attunement repair during conflict and cultivating fondness and admiration for each other.
Can you tell us more about your podcast step outside your comfort zone what inspired you to start it and what topics do you focus on?
“I knew my passion was to help and empower others so they could successfully navigate life.”
Step outside of your comfort zone is a podcast geared towards women of all ages and it covers topics that are going to help empower women to survive and thrive in life topics that have been covered thus far and have included: Self-care
Mom guilt, Launching our children into the world after graduation
Effective listening
Bumps and Bruises in marriages 5 Love languages
Should I stay or should I go?
Co-Parenting do’s and don’ts
How to step outside our comfort zone and push ourselves achieve our goals
The importance of sleep and the effects that it has on our mental health,
Gas lighting and how to respond to somebody who is trying to gaslight us, Boundaries and how to enforce our boundaries within friendships and relationships.
These are just a few of the topics that have been covered thus far. In the future I plan to have guest speakers also speaking upon ways women can get all the tools and techniques they need to be the best version of themselves.
What inspired me to start this podcast
is to educate women with the necessary tools they may be lacking to meet their full potential and happiness that they want in this lifetime I was also inspired to start this podcast as a resource for my own clients and topics that come up frequently in our sessions. It is a great guide to send a podcast I have recorded to my clients so that they can have this as a reference point for techniques and strategies.
For more information visit: www. fingerlakescounselingservices.com/
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
480 MINUTES
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
BY JOANNE RYAN
The Heart of Ronald McDonald House Supporting Families Through Their Longest and Darkest Moments
At Ronald McDonald House, we know that every single minute matters. Families in our care are facing some of the most heart-wrenching challenges of their lives, grappling with the reality of having a critically ill or injured child. Early in my journey here, a family member shared a profound truth: “This is a club no one wants to join, but if you must, you’re grateful to be in it.” This sentiment beautifully captures our mission: to offer comfort and support when it is needed most.
Each month, I am privileged to share powerful stories from our families, illuminating the vital work we do. Our mission extends far beyond our walls, partnering with organizations like URMC, Golisano Children’s Hospital, and Rochester Regional Health to ensure families have the resources they desperately need. We are a lifeline, supporting families with children aged 21 and under who are receiving medical care.
With over 35,000 service encounters annually through our 31 sleep rooms and 3 family rooms, we save families more than $2.2 million each year. But our impact transcends mere numbers. We provide essential support during their most vulnerable times, allowing families to focus on what truly matters: their child’s care. When hope seems lost, we help families navigate the unimaginable, standing by them as compassionate listeners and steadfast supporters.
We provide meals, transportation, and
lodging at no cost to our families, but we also create a nurturing environment …a home away from home. Our spaces are sanctuaries of safety and comfort, where families can share their stories and find solace in one another’s experiences. The connections made here can be lifechanging; bonds are forged that last long after our families leave.
Recently, we held our third annual Ronald McDonald House Family Reunion—a touching reminder of the profound relationships that are nurtured here. I was moved to tears, witnessing a mother embracing Deb Penepent, one of our team members who was part of her journey five years ago. You will meet Deb later in this article and two of her equally amazing midnight-to-eight colleagues. Witnessing their reunion and hearing from Deb about the power of their connection was the genesis of this article and an even deeper appreciation for me that during the darkest nights, our staff becomes a lifeline, providing not only services but also genuine comfort and care.
There are 480 minutes in the quiet hours between midnight and 8 AM. This is when our overnight staff truly shine. It is during this time when minutes feel endless, filled with anxiety and fear. Yet our team members offer a unique form of support that transforms worry into solace. While most of us sleep, these extraordinary individuals remain unwavering in their commitment to compassion.
With over 25 years at RMHCR, Deb began as a volunteer and transitioned to an overnight team member. Deb has primarily worked at our Westmoreland
House. Westmoreland house had 24 private bedrooms with 24 ensuite baths. Over 20K sq feet, this beautiful House has a large and beautiful state-of-the-art kitchen, multiple breakout rooms, 3 large family rooms, a media room, a fitness room, a laundry room, a playground, a beautiful two-story deck with patio furniture, and 2 large grills. This is the largest and busiest of our houses. Deb’s calming presence brings comfort to families during sleepless nights. She recalls countless evenings spent with families, lost in worry and uncertainty. Of the hundreds of memories, one stands out as truly meeting families where they are and finding ways to help them cope with so many things that feel out of their control. One night, a mother longing to find something that would provide comfort and a sense of peace while her child was so critically ill expressed a longing to cook her grandmother’s traditional sauce. With Deb’s help, they gathered ingredients and crafted a comforting meal in the early hours, transforming a moment of stress into one of warmth, and comfort.
Deb often shares heartfelt hugs with families, simple gestures that offer immense comfort. She has forged lasting bonds with many families, who return to share their journeys and celebrate their progress. Passionate about our mission, Deb believes it is essential for everyone to understand the breadth of our work, ensuring families know they are never alone in their struggles.
Rocco joined us shortly after we opened the House within the Hospital, (HWTH) a unique refuge for families with critically ill children who need to be close to their child’s bedside. Located on the 5th floor
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Rocco understands that the 480 minutes between midnight and 8 AM are filled with a spectrum of experiences: some families sleep, others share a snack, and many wrestle with fear and uncertainty.”
of Strong Memorial Hospital, there are 7 private bedrooms with 7 ensuite baths, a large family room, a fully stocked serving kitchenette, and a place to do your laundry. This house is one of only 19 of its kind worldwide. Here, Rocco’s approach centers on respecting families’ need for space. He is also known for his calming presence, allowing families to process their emotions without feeling pressured to share. He teaches new staff that sometimes, the most important thing you can do is simply listen.
One powerful moment Rocco witnessed involved two grandparents supporting their grandchild through a critical illness. After returning from the hospital that day, as they had for several other days, they sat quietly together in the common space of the living room. This evening instead of saying goodnight on their way to their room…they were saying goodbye… they approached Rocco and expressed their extreme gratitude for the safe space he provided them during their stay. That evening, in that sacred silence, they were navigating the profound loss of their grandchild earlier that evening. Rocco was once again there offering compassionate caring support
Rocco understands that the 480 minutes between midnight and 8 AM are filled with a spectrum of experiences: some families sleep, others share a snack, and many wrestle with fear and uncertainty. In these quiet hours, our overnight team embodies the roles of confidants, advocates, and friends. They are the anchor’s families need, offering compassion
and understanding as they traverse their darkest moments.
At Ronald McDonald House, we stand as a beacon of support, ensuring that families feel cared for during their most challenging times. We work tirelessly to fill in the gaps, guiding families on their journeys so they can focus on what matters most: their child. Our mission transcends the provision of resources; it’s about creating a sense of belonging and hope when it feels most elusive. Together, we are building a community that embodies strength, resilience, and love—a family of our own.
I also had the pleasure of interviewing Sandi Nettleford, another dedicated overnight team member. Sandi initially came to RMHCR’s HWTH to “help out” for a short period—almost 20 years ago! Her warmth and kindness uplift families during their most trying times. She has a remarkable gift for knowing what “her” families need, when they need to laugh, cry, or a comforting hug. Sandi spoke of the power of our round table, not just in shape but in the profound conversations that happen as families grab a quick bite before or after being at their child’s bedside. Lifelong friendships have been forged here, as families uplift each other, sharing their fears and joys over shared meals.
Sandi’s joy comes from helping families. There is a special bond between the staff and families, especially at the House Within the Hospital. These families live “moment to moment” often returning too exhausted to even
think about eating. Sandi ensures they have “a little something” before they go to bed, and often offers to do their laundry, leaving it clean and folded outside their door in the morning. She pays attention to the little things that make a big difference—like knowing how someone likes their coffee or preparing a brown bag with a nutritious lunch for a parent who is too consumed by their child’s care to think about their own needs. Sandi sees herself as the “grandmother” of the place, and it’s easy to understand why—her genuine love and kindness extend the warmth of family to those who need it most.
Writing this article has been an incredibly emotional experience for me. I hold deep respect for every team member at RMHCR. Each day, they give so much of themselves, humbly and without fanfare. Every encounter offers a glimmer of healing during a painful time. Every act of kindness is carried out thoughtfully, respectfully, and compassionately. Our families know that once they cross our threshold, the weight of the world fades, allowing them to focus on the health and well-being of their children. Here, they find a home away from home, supported by a team that genuinely cares and takes the time to know them personally.
This mission is profound and has a powerful impact. It’s been my privilege to share just how special and meaningful those 480 minutes are, spanning from midnight to 8:00 AM, when every moment truly matters.
{ MINUTES MATTER }
{ SHIFT+CONTROL } YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“These families live “moment to moment” often returning too exhausted to even think about eating. Sandi ensures they have “a little something” before they go to bed, and often offers to do their laundry, leaving it clean and folded outside their door in the morning.”
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
SUSAN CARMEN DUFFY
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Tell us a little bit about yourself, Susan. What led you to become an artist and create Create4Good?-
A little about me? I am many things, I suppose- aren’t we all? I am most proud of being a partner/wife, mother, and grandmother. (she calls me Nana) I am a loyal friend. I am an advocate for what I believe is just. I am a cheerleader for the underdog, a problem solver, homemade soup deliverer when you are sick or sad friend, and of course an artist. I love to cook and create beautiful meals for friends and family. I am intuitive, curious, and constantly learning. I believe that we discover more about who we are every single day if we are paying attention. Some days the revelation is delightful, some days, it reveals work we need to do.
I believe I have always been an artist. I think art is in everyone. I was lucky enough to listen and maintain that creative curiosity. Some of my earliest memories are wrapped up in color, paper, and spending time with both. Art seems to be where I find the most balance. It is not just an expression or a mark of an image, it is my oxygen, it is my prayer. Art for me is not just empowering and emotional expression, it is connection, it is experimentation, it is spirituality, and it is freedom.
Create Art 4 Good began the year following my mother’s death. I was very aware that we have very little time to make a mark on this earth and I wanted to do something that not only made a difference, but also would incorporate all of who I am. Artist, Advocate, Cheerleader, socially conscious, etc. I explored several business ideas. It was
clear that I wanted to support other artists, to have a working gallery, to facilitate creative experiences, and to pay it forward. Create Art 4 Good has accomplished that and more!
While I have had other creative businesses, the experience with CA4G has been unparalleled. I even wrote a business plan! (This pleased my very engineer husband, but is not typical of my very artist brain)
Create Art 4 Good feels like it has been wholly supported by the universe. It has been full of experiences I could have never anticipated. I have been able to use my studio to welcome speakers on various topics- from the business of art to PTSD for veterans. I have welcomed a variety of events from album releases for a small band, to Louise Slaughter speaking on standing up for small businesses. I have welcomed women being treated for breast cancer for a series of meditative art workshops in honor of my mom, Barbara Carmen. I have facilitated socially conscious events, spiritually enriching events, and small business events supporting artists.
Create Art 4 Good is more than a working studio, it is a way to reach out and support and encourage the greatest bloom as human beings.
You mention that your passion for creating greeting cards began when you were very young. Can you share the story of how making cards for your great-grandmother shaped your journey?
My great-grandmother was an incredible
woman. Her ideals were strong, her spirit even stronger. She believed in good posture, hard work, and family. She didn’t show a lot of emotion, yet you knew she loved you. Her gifts seemed to be acts of service. She made bread every morning for her family, I can still remember the aroma of warm bread coming out of the oven (usually by 7 am) when we visited. It seemed magical to me. She was a foster grandparent to children in the area who had been horribly abused, and for that and many other reasons she certainly was my hero.
The weekend before my great grandmother passed away, we visited her in Pennsylvania. She was quite ill and probably not up for a seven-yearold to visit. The house was kept very quiet, and my mother spent a great deal of time with my Great Grandmother. This frustrated me. I wanted to help in some way. So, I asked my aunt, (who lived with my great-grandmother) for crayons and paper. She didn’t have many 7-year-old friendly supplies handy. She did have unused Christmas cards and markers. I carefully remade the cards into get well cards. I made quite a few of them. (No doubt it kept me busy and not asking to see my great-grandmother, so that worked too) Once I was done, I walked quietly up the stairs to her room and slipped the cards underneath her closed door.
I was halfway down the stairs when my great grandmother called out to me. I was invited to enter her room. She asked me if the postman had been there. (this was particularly amusing as the mail was not delivered to this house, you had to
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
“By combining my artistic passion with
meaningful messages, I hoped to offer a unique
way for individuals to connect with themselves and inspire
personal growth.”
walk to the next town to a post office box to get your mail every day)
I smiled and told her it was a special delivery. I gathered all the cards up and placed them on the bed where she lay. She carefully opened each card. The expression on her face is ingrained in my mind. She was simply delighted and acted as if each card would heal her, make her better. She thanked me again and again.
To my seven-year-old brain, somehow these pieces of transformed Christmas cards made her better. It left a huge impact on me. It was a simple act, sewn with love and seemed to make a difference.
Throughout my life greeting cards have been almost a mission for me. I believe the foundation of which began with my great-grandmother. In the past if I was feeling blue, I would send cards to others for no reason. I would make them, buy them, and mail them! (I always felt better after doing so) The best days were many envelopes going to the post office.
I have learned the impact of such a simple gesture, sent with love and kindness.
What was the turning point that inspired you to officially launch Greetings 4 Good in 2016?
In my late forties, I returned to school. I decided to go back to get a degree in Graphic Design. I thought I would be able to use my artistic skills to “get ahead”. I really loved learning (even though it was stressful as I had three teenagers at home and a very ill mom). I worked during the day, went to school at night
and balanced my other responsibilities. At the end of my education, I left with two degrees, and a couple of job offers. The offers all were exciting as well as transparent and let me know that there would be some 70–80-hour work weeks. I knew that I could not balance that with my children and ill mother. I turned it down. This made me wonder about the wisdom of going to school for these degrees.
I am a firm believer in that throughout life we pick up skills (I usually call them “tools”) and may not know why we have obtained that skill. Quite a few years after graduating, I understood why.
By this time, I had moved to the Hungerford. (while also working full time at a day job) I had a working gallery and was active in the art community. I was representing a new artist every month. Some months were amazing, some months were leaner. I had to figure out a way to make rent if commissions were low.
One of the realities that hit me in owning a working gallery is that while people may love the art they cannot always afford it. They may be able to swing a print or even a card.
One day it was like a light bulb went off over my head. Why am I not using my art to make cards? Cards have always been a passion for me. I have a graphic design degree, and I have plenty of art!
Greetings 4 Good began was an official way to reach out to others and use my art and writing to succeed at it. It was a way to share my work, and my heart.
This felt so right! Just like with Create Art 4 Good, I donate a portion of the proceeds from each sale.
How does your work at Create Art 4 Good Gallery & Studio reflect your mission to make a difference through art?
Create Art 4 Good was formed to do a few basic things: Empower artists, get more art into the world, be a part of a vibrant community that is conscious of the world and our place in it, and to pay it forward.
While many things changed in 2020, as I no longer facilitate a monthly invitational exhibition as I have moved to a different space. I do facilitate workshops to empower artists. I consult on technique and the business of art as well. I facilitate socially conscious events, empowering workshops, and support not only my own art, but also, encourage others.
Create Art 4 Good stays true to its mission by focusing on the connection of art and social impact. I try to prioritize projects that promote community engagement, support marginalized groups, and address social issues through creative expression. By collaborating with local organizations and facilitating workshops, I create platforms for underrepresented voices. I also pay it forward by donating a portion of each sale to a carefully vetted local charity.
You’ve created over 500 card designs. What inspires your designs, and how do you keep your creativity flowing? Art is my oxygen! My designs are inspired by a mix of personal experiences, nature, and the emotions I want to convey. I
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“I do facilitate workshops to empower artists. I consult on technique and the business of art as well.”
often create from everyday moments, color, nature, and cultural influences that resonate with me. To keep my creativity flowing, I regularly meditate, seek new experiences—like visiting art galleries, exploring nature, or connecting with other artists. I dedicate time for experimentation keeping a sketch book and art journal allowing myself to play with different techniques and materials without the pressure of creating something “perfect.” This translates to art that ultimately is translated to cards and other things.
What makes the process of creating greeting cards and affirmation decks so meaningful to you?
Creating greeting cards and affirmation decks is meaningful to me because it allows me to connect with people on an emotional level. Each design is an opportunity to spread positivity, joy, or encouragement. I talk about my cards being “a little bit of love in every envelope”, and the opportunity to celebrate life.
I have always felt that I have a mission to love and support others, my affirmation decks are “cheerleader in a box”. These decks resonate with others on a level I could have never anticipated. It’s also a way for me to express my own thoughts and feelings, turning personal insights into something tangible that can inspire and vibrate with others. The opportunity to make even a small difference in someone’s life is a mission for me now.
Tell us about your affirmation deck of cards. What motivated you to finally bring this project to life after years of contemplation?
I am fascinated by decks of all sorts. I
admire the art of them, the encouraging words, the inspiration that they provide. My affirmation deck of cards was born out of a deep desire to create a resource that promotes self-reflection and positivity. For years, I contemplated this project because I wanted to ensure that each card truly resonated with my vision of empowerment and encouragement. Ironically, they never felt good enough.
I worked on the initial deck “Seeds of Affirmation” on and off for about five years. I thought about it for even longer. The seed was certainly planted but sometimes things take time to bloom, I suppose. Last summer, two friends who knew about my project asked about it, and frankly, held me accountable. Their encouragement (and kick in the pants) was what I needed.
I finally decided to bring it to life when I realized the impact it could have on others’ journeys. I wanted to create a tool that people could turn to during challenging times or when they needed a little extra motivation. By combining my artistic passion with meaningful messages, I hoped to offer a unique way for individuals to connect with themselves and inspire personal growth. The excitement of sharing this vision and the potential it holds for others ultimately pushed me to take the leap and create the deck.
How did the process of creating the affirmation deck differ from your other artistic projects?
Creating the affirmation deck was a unique experience compared to my other artistic projects, primarily because it combined both visual art and
personal reflection. While I often focus on aesthetics and design in my other work, this project required a deeper exploration of themes like empowerment, self-love, and resilience.
The process involved a lot of introspection, as I wanted each affirmation to resonate meaningfully with the intended audience. I spent time researching and reflecting on what messages would be most impactful, which is different from my usual approach of simply creating based on visual inspiration.
Additionally, I had to think about the user experience—how people would interact with the cards and how they could incorporate them into their daily lives. This consideration influenced not just the design, but also the language and tone of each affirmation. Overall, it was a more holistic and emotionally driven process that blended art with purpose, making it incredibly rewarding.
You mentioned that this project flowed almost effortlessly once you started. What do you think made the process feel so seamless?
The process felt seamless because I was deeply connected to the purpose behind the affirmation deck. Once I committed to the project, my passion for uplifting others fueled my creativity and made everything come together naturally. I felt like the deck wrote itself. I had a hard time keeping up with it! The art was already scanned and edited, I just needed to typeset the messages!
I had an open mindset, inviting ideas to flow without overthinking. (this is often a challenge for me!) The affirmations and
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
“Throughout my life greeting cards have been almost a mission for me. I believe the foundation of which began with my great-grandmother.”
designs seemed to emerge organically, almost like they were waiting to be expressed. It was a thrilling process. I took the time to create a working space that would support the success of this project. I set aside dedicated time, minimizing distractions, and even lit a candle. Being intentional felt empowering. This combination of clarity, passion, and focus helped the project unfold in a way that felt both effortless and fulfilling. It was truly a rewarding experience that reminded me of the joy of creating with intention.
What role do positive affirmations play in your life, and how do you hope your deck impacts others who use it? Life presents challenges to all of us. I am transparent to say that I have been challenged by depression for a good portion of my life. According to the National Science Foundation, the average person has 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day, and 80% of those are negative. 95% of these thoughts are repetitive. Positive affirmations play a significant role in my life by helping me shift my mindset and reinforce positivity. They serve as daily reminders of my strengths and potential, especially during challenging times. By consciously affirming positive thoughts, I find it easier to maintain a hopeful and optimistic outlook.
With my affirmation deck, I hope to inspire others to embrace the power of positivity in their own lives. I want users to feel encouraged, motivated, and supported as they navigate their journeys. My goal is for each card to resonate deeply, offering comfort and empowerment when needed. Ultimately, I hope the deck becomes a cherished tool
for reflection and growth, helping people cultivate a more positive self-image and a stronger connection to their dreams and aspirations
As an artist and entrepreneur, how do you balance the creative aspects of your work with the business side of running a company?
It is incredibly difficult! I often say I need to clone myself or at least have a staff. Balancing the creative aspects of my work with the business side of running a company is a challenge, I have a set list of tasks that help. I try to do marketing on certain days (Marketing Mondays) and web updates on web Wednesdays! (you will notice that I seem to like alliteration!)
I also try to integrate creativity into the business side whenever possible. For instance, I approach marketing and branding with the same passion and artistic vision that I apply to my designs. This keeps my work feeling cohesive and aligned with my values. Additionally, I prioritize planning and organization. Having a solid business strategy allows me to focus more on my creative projects without neglecting the practical aspects of running a company. I also seek support when needed, I am well aware that I don’t need to reinvent the wheel, others have more expertise in places where I feel lacking. I am blessed with support! This balance allows me to nurture both my artistic vision and the sustainability of my business.
What has been one of the most rewarding moments for you since starting Create Art 4 Good and Greetings 4 Good?
There are so many moments, how do I choose just one? While I knew that this is where I should put my energy, I had no clue what Create Art 4 Good would ultimately be. It continues to grow and change.
Recently my granddaughter had an art project at school. She needed to do some research on an inspiring artist. She researched ME! How does it get better than that? She and her father both texted me. Having your fifteen-year-old grandchild proud of you means more than any financial success.
I have held many exhibitions for fellow artists. My two favorites were when I represented young artists. It was a magnificent exhibit, with many students and media represented. First, the assistance of the art teachers in hanging the show was remarkable. These teachers are so dedicated to empowering their students. But also, the reaction of the children when they walked into my gallery. They were so proud, they were so full of joy, it was an incredible experience.
The other exhibits for me that I found thrilling was when I represented an artist who had never had a show before. The reaction was similar to the student exhibit. They were in awe of seeing their work on a gallery wall in a beautiful setting. They felt validated, they felt empowered. It was truly confirmation that I was doing exactly what I was meant to.
Another moment since starting Create Art 4 Good and Greetings 4 Good was when I received heartfelt feedback from someone who used my affirmation deck during a tough time. They shared
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Create Art 4 Good is more than a working studio, it is a way to reach out and support and encourage the greatest bloom as human beings.”
how the cards provided them with encouragement and comfort, helping them navigate their challenges. Knowing that my work made a real difference in someone’s life was incredibly fulfilling.
Additionally, seeing the positive impact of community engagement through workshops and events has been a highlight. Watching participants connect with their creativity and support one another reaffirmed my mission and motivated me to continue creating art that fosters connection and empowerment. Those moments truly reflect the heart of what I aim to achieve with both initiatives.
I could go on and on, but this business has become a way of life. I have learned to trust the forward movement and roll on with it. The end revelation is full of purpose and joy for me.
Can you share some of the challenges you’ve faced along the way and how you’ve overcome them?
Absolutely! One of the biggest challenges has been finding the right balance between creativity and the demands of running a business. I am overwhelmed by the logistics at times, it feels like business is more demanding and creativity gets left by the wayside. To overcome this, I do my best to follow a schedule that separates creative time from business tasks, allowing me to focus fully on each aspect without feeling pulled in multiple directions. I am not always great at this, but having a plan seems to help.
Another challenge was building visibility and connecting with my audience. Let us face it, we are just one drop in a whole
ocean! I do my best to share my work with authenticity and transparency. Not every day is a great one, but I do feel that if I am honest with who I am, my journey, and my continued tenacity, I will reach the right people.
Then there is the self-doubt monster! Imposter syndrome is real! has been an ongoing challenge. I’ve learned to embrace imperfection (it is an opportunity!). Also, I am blessed to have an amazing support system. They are the best cheerleaders, but also, share an honest critique of any project I may be in the middle of. Surrounding myself with supportive peers and seeking feedback has been invaluable in boosting my confidence and pushing me to keep creating. Each challenge has taught me resilience and adaptability, enriching my journey as an artist and entrepreneur.
You’ve spoken about the power of positivity in your work. How do you personally stay positive and grounded, especially during difficult times?
Staying positive and grounded during challenging times is essential for me, and I have a few strategies that really help. Meditation is important for me. This can be utilized in many forms; not the least of which is taking time to sit quietly by water or create a Zentangle. I also keep a gratitude journal, where I create visuals but also share what I’m thankful for from the smallest thing to the greatest. This simple practice shifts my focus from challenges to the positive aspects of my life.
As I have said previously- art is a balance for me. If I am in a particularly rough patch, it is often that I have not picked
up a paintbrush recently. Art really is my oxygen. It does not have to be anything spectacular, it can be just a small doodle, but it always helps me to feel better.
How do you hope your art and message of positivity contribute to the Rochester community and beyond?
I hope my art and message of positivity contribute to the Rochester community by fostering connection, inspiration, and healing. I believe that the smallest positive intention can create the a huge wave of difference.
Through workshops and collaborative projects, I want to empower individuals to express themselves creatively and build relationships not only with themselves and their creativity but with one another. My goal is to create safe spaces where people can share their stories, feel valued, and find encouragement.
Beyond Rochester, I am honored to have shared my work not only throughout the United States, as well as internationally. I envision my art continuing to reach a wider audience through online platforms and partnerships with organizations that promote positivity and well-being. By sharing messages of hope and empowerment, I hope to inspire others to embrace their unique journeys and recognize the strength within themselves. Ultimately, I aspire to create a ripple effect of positivity that uplifts not just individuals, but communities as a whole. I believe that we have the opportunity daily, even each moment to make a difference.
What advice would you give to other
{
“I believe I have always been an artist. I think art is in everyone.” { QUEEN OF ARTS }
artists who are looking to use their creativity to make a difference in the world?
My advice to artists is to practice daily. Do not think that you have ever “arrived”. It is vital that you continue to grow. Every time I pick up a paintbrush, I learn, I grow.
Be you! Live YOUR fingerprint. Stay true to your vision and let your passion guide you. Start by identifying the issues that resonate with you personally, as
this will give your work authenticity and depth.
Embrace collaboration and community engagement. Connect with other artists, other people, and local organizations who share your goals. Collaboration is empowering!
Don’t be afraid to experiment and push boundaries in your art. Sometimes the most impactful pieces come from taking risks and being vulnerable in your expression.
Every effort counts. Even if it feels like your contributions are minor, they can spark change and inspire others. Stay committed to your mission, be patient with the process, and trust that your creativity has the power to make a meaningful difference.
ROC THE DOGS RESCUE
ROC the Dogs Rescue: A Community Lifeline for Rochester’s Most
Vulnerable Animals
In the heart of Rochester, New York, a dedicated team of volunteers is tirelessly working to give a second chance to animals in need. ROC the Dogs Rescue, a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization, has made it their mission to rescue abandoned, surrendered, stray, abused, and neglected pets across the area. Their goal? To provide these animals with medical care, a safe haven, and ultimately, a loving forever home. From the smallest cats to the most vulnerable dogs, no animal is turned away because of size, breed, or medical condition. ROC the Dogs Rescue’s mission isn’t only about rescue; it’s about community, compassion, and commitment.
A Mission of Compassion and Care
At ROC the Dogs Rescue, the team is fully dedicated to the welfare of every animal they encounter. Each rescue journey is unique, often bringing animals from local shelters, strays found in the community, or pets from owners facing difficult circumstances. ROC the Dogs Rescue makes every effort to prioritize animals in the greatest need, providing essential veterinary care, spay/neuter services, and a nurturing foster environment to help them thrive. And when an animal
finds their forever family, the support doesn’t end. ROC the Dogs Rescue remains available to provide guidance and assistance, ensuring a smooth transition and ongoing well-being for both the pet and the adoptive family.
Education and Community Involvement
ROC the Dogs Rescue goes beyond
informed and caring community. The Importance of Fostering and Volunteering
As an all-volunteer, foster-based organization, ROC the Dogs Rescue relies on the commitment and compassion of individuals willing to open their homes to foster animals. Fostering is a unique opportunity that saves not just one life but two— the animal in care and the one who takes their place. Foster homes provide a nurturing environment that prepares animals for their forever families. The foster program is one of the most essential components of ROC the Dogs Rescue’s work and can’t succeed without the support of kind-hearted people willing to offer temporary homes.
rescue to educate the Rochester community on the importance of pet adoption, the benefits of spaying/ neutering, and proper pet care. By raising awareness about the struggles homeless animals face and sharing the stories of those rescued, they work to inspire compassionate action and responsible pet ownership. This outreach is critical to building a more
But fostering is just one way to help. ROC the Dogs Rescue offers many ways for people to get involved, from volunteering and transportation to assisting with fundraising events and social media support. Community members can contribute by collecting items, participating in can and bottle drives, or even offering pet photography services to capture the rescue animals’ personalities, enhancing their chances of adoption.
Fundraising: Fueling the Mission
The reality of animal rescue is that it comes at a cost. Veterinary bills,
{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE }
“The
work of ROC the Dogs Rescue is a testament to the transformative power of compassion. Every animal rescued is a life changed, and every adoption is a story of love found.”
medical treatments, and everyday care add up quickly. That’s why ROC the Dogs Rescue’s number one need is always fundraising. With 100% of donations going directly to animal care, the funds raised are vital to their continued work and allow them to take on more cases. Online auctions, grant applications, and bottle drives are some of the creative ways ROC the Dogs Rescue raises money, but the community’s support is always needed. Every dollar makes a difference, enabling the rescue to extend a lifeline to more animals in need.
Join the Movement: How You Can Help For those looking to make a meaningful difference, ROC the Dogs
Rescue offers countless opportunities. Besides fostering and fundraising, supporters can help by spreading the word, shopping through Amazon Smile or Chewy Wish List to benefit the rescue, and encouraging friends and family to donate. ROC the Dogs Rescue is always in search of passionate volunteers to help expand their efforts and continue their mission of hope and healing.
A Call to Action
The work of ROC the Dogs Rescue is a testament to the transformative power of compassion. Every animal rescued is a life changed, and every adoption is a story of love found.
But they can’t do it alone. ROC the Dogs Rescue calls on the Rochester community to join them, whether by adopting, fostering, volunteering, or donating. Together, we can create a brighter future for Rochester’s animals in need and a community that stands as a true haven for its homeless pets.
For more information on how to get involved or to make a donation, visit ROC the Dogs Rescue or email them at info@rocthedogsrescue.com. With your help, they can continue making an incredible difference in the lives of so many animals and the people who love them.
KRYSTINA & MONICA GAUER
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Can you tell us a little about yourselves and what inspired you as sisters to start Hongo Skin together?
We were born and raised in the Finger Lakes Region of New York, on our family’s generational homestead with over 40 acres of land. We were taught the love and respect of nature from our dad which led us to a lifelong curiosity for the gifts that the earth provides, and how we can use them for healing. Ultimately this was the root of what inspired our company and values. The creation of Hongo Skin came from a deeply personal place. We were driven by a desire to find effective, and most importantly, safe skincare solutions for our own skin issues. This journey evolved into creating products that would be beneficial for our entire family, including our mom, brother, and close friends. Realizing the profound difference our products made for our loved ones gave us the confidence to share these solutions with others.
These elements are woven into our products, creating formulations that are both effective and meaningful, connecting us to our roots.
Q: Why did you choose “Hongo” as the name for your skincare brand, and how do mushrooms play a role in your products?
We chose “Hongo” because mushrooms are at the heart of our skincare line. They have been used
How did the passing of your father and sister impact your vision for the brand?
The loss of our dad and sister profoundly shaped our vision. Both of them passed from illnesses that are commonly linked to environmental factors. With learning how much we are exposed to harmful toxins and chemicals even in the typical air we breathe, it propelled us toward creating a brand that honors their beliefs in natural living and wellness. By focusing on non-toxic, healing ingredients that were created to protect, we feel connected to their legacy every day.
Q: What are some of the key lessons your father and sister taught you about natural living and holistic health that are now reflected in Hongo Skin?
Q: How did your Colombian heritage influence the creation of Hongo Skin and your approach to natural ingredients?
Our heritage plays a crucial role in everything we do at Hongo Skin. It’s reflected not only in the name ‘Hongo,’ (pronounced ohn-go) which means ‘mushroom’ in Spanish, but also in our use of traditional herbs and methods from Latin America.
in traditional medicine practices for centuries for their remarkable benefits like hydration, anti-inflammation, and skin regeneration. Using reishi, tremella, and shiitake mushrooms, we harness their natural properties to create products that genuinely care for the skin while promoting elasticity and vitality.
Q: Your journey toward creating Hongo is rooted in personal loss.
They taught us to prioritize wellness and be mindful of what we put into our bodies and on our skin. Especially our sister Sabrina, who had just become a holistic lifestyle coach before her passing. She was on a journey to living a healthy lifestyle and shared a lot of her knowledge with us. This was an initial introduction for us to the whole world of wellness for the mind, body, and spirit, which was a huge catalyst for change in our lives. This wisdom is the foundation of Hongo Skin, guiding us to choose ingredients that nurture both the body and the environment.
{ FEMALE ENTREPRENEURS
“After learning how incredible functional mushrooms are for the body and using them internally, we wanted to do the same externally.”
Q: What harmful chemicals or toxins did you discover in everyday skincare products that motivated you to create a more natural alternative? We were alarmed to discover how many skincare products contain harmful substances, known carcinogens (cancer-causers) and hazardous chemicals, some including parabens and phthalates. We found that there were many products that we trusted that were not as “clean” or natural as they were claiming to be. This discovery led to broken trust in a lot of brands as well as the general retail experience which motivated us to create a skincare line that was free from anything that could harm. We know how hard it is to find transparent companies and products you can actually trust, so we focused on creating that using all natural ingredients that are not only beneficial but safe.
Q: How did you decide on the specific ingredients you use in Hongo Skin products, and what makes them stand out in the natural skincare market?
We chose our ingredients based on deep research and consultation with scientific resources. After learning how incredible functional mushrooms are for the body and using them internally, we wanted to do the same externally. Not only did research show this is possible, but other companies are slowly starting to incorporate them into their formulas as well. What makes our ingredients truly stand out is that for as many as possible, we source our ingredients from local,
organic farms that practice sustainable and regenerative agriculture. For any products that are not naturally produced in our area, we ensure they are from sustainable suppliers. This not only ensures the purity and effectiveness of our products but also supports environmental health, setting us apart in a market where genuine naturalness is rare.
Q: What are some of the most important benefits of using mushrooms in skincare, and how do they contribute to healthy skin? Mushrooms are incredible for skincare because they hydrate, protect, and restore the skin. Their antioxidant properties help fight free radicals, while their rich polysaccharide content boosts moisture retention, making them essential for a radiant complexion.
Q: Can you walk us through the development process of your products? How do you ensure their purity and effectiveness?
Each product begins with a meticulous selection of ingredients, ensuring they come from pure, natural sources. By collaborating closely with local farmers, we can vouch for the quality of every component we use, blending traditional wisdom with modern skincare science. We also love staying on top of trends in the industry and experimenting with new ingredients. Typically the process for a new product takes at least a few months to develop, then more time to test it on ourselves before we are sharing anything with others to try.
Q: As sisters and business partners, how do you balance your individual roles within the company, and what challenges have you faced working together?
Although we have had small business challenges, we have experienced so many personal life challenges together that these truly pale in comparison. We feel beyond grateful to have the opportunity to support each other in building a company that allows us to follow our passions and do what we love. Balancing roles comes fairly naturally; we respect each other’s strengths and areas of expertise. Our shared history and goals make us a strong, cohesive team.
Q: What has been the most rewarding part of creating Hongo Skin, and how has it helped you honor the memory of your father and sister? The most rewarding aspect is hearing how our products help others, knowing we’re creating something that would make our dad and sister proud! The positive feedback and stories from our customers reaffirms that we’re not just selling a product—we’re spreading wellness as well as honoring their memory. We are truly driven by the motivation to share healing, and knowing that our products are changing lives by bringing joy and confidence to others is incredibly rewarding.
Q: Your products are all-natural. What does that mean to you, and how do you maintain such high standards of purity and sustainability in your brand?
{ FEMALE ENTREPRENEURS }
“Our heritage plays a crucial role in everything we do at Hongo Skin. It’s reflected not only in the name ‘Hongo,’ (pronounced ohn-go) which means ‘mushroom’ in Spanish, but also in our use of traditional herbs and methods from Latin America.”
For us, ‘all-natural’ means that everything—from the ingredients to the packaging—is designed with health and environmental sustainability in mind. We want to be the change that we want to see in the industry, so that’s what we are implementing in everything we do. From the recycled glass of our jars, to physically visiting farms we’re sourcing from, to foraging mushrooms, and picking organic apples for our handcrafted Apple Cider Vinegar used in our toner. We maintain high standards by being handson with every step of the production process, ensuring that our products remain 100% pure and effective, just as nature intended.
Q: What kind of feedback have you received from customers, and how has it shaped the growth of your brand?
The feedback has been incredibly positive, inspiring us to keep innovating and expanding our product line. Each testimonial about improved skin health and satisfaction motivates us to continue our mission, and provide the best possible products. We’ve heard awesome stories from consumers of all ages that our face cream specifically has helped support them in their healing of many different skin conditions. It’s so exciting to hear that they are seeing results and that we’re able to provide them the help they have been searching for. Amazing feedback is what led us to
start our business, and it has definitely played a huge role in encouraging us to keep sharing and growing.
Q: In the competitive world of skincare, what sets Hongo apart from other brands that also claim to be natural and holistic?
First and foremost our family and story is the greatest strength that we encompass, and our unwavering commitment to authenticity and
natural ingredients and the potential dangers of using chemical-based skincare products?
We strive to educate through transparency and engagement. Our blogs, events, and social media platforms are avenues where we discuss the benefits of natural ingredients and the risks associated with chemicalladen products, empowering our customers to make informed choices.
Q: Can you tell us about any upcoming product launches or innovations in Hongo Skin that you’re excited about?
quality sets us apart. We believe in our products and philosophy wholeheartedly and will be using them for the rest of our lives. We are not just another brand; we are sisters on a mission to bring healing and wellness into skincare, rooted in the values of caring and helping others that was instilled in us from a young age.
Q: How do you educate your customers on the importance of
We’re thrilled about sharing our 3-step skin kit, designed to simplify skincare without compromising effectiveness. While we have other innovations in the pipeline, our current focus is on promoting this core regimen, ensuring everyone can access and benefit from a holistic skincare routine. For updates make sure to follow us @hongoskin on Instagram and Facebook!
Q: What advice would you give to other women entrepreneurs looking to start a business with a strong personal mission and family involvement?
Embrace your unique story and let your passion and intuition lead the way. If you have been given a dream, don’t ignore it! It’s there for a reason, and pursuing it could
{ FEMALE ENTREPRENEURS }
“We were taught the love and respect of nature from our dad which led us to a lifelong curiosity for the gifts that the earth provides, and how we can use them for healing.”
truly change your life. Trust in your vision, and remember that combining family strengths can create a powerful foundation for any business.
Q: Where do you see Hongo Skin
in the next few years, and what are your goals for the future of the brand?
We see Hongo Skin growing into a leading name in natural skincare, not just in the U.S., but globally. Our goal
is to continue spreading our message of health, wellness, and sustainability, making a positive impact on the industry and our customers’ lives.
INTERIORS BY EMILY RUTH
What inspired you to start Interiors by Emily Ruth, and what was the journey like from idea to reality?
I have been in the home improvement and design industry for almost 20 years now. About 10 years ago, I found myself encouraged by others to start my own business. It wasn’t until I found myself at a crossroad, laid off from a job, and at a new stage in life, that it was finally the right time! With amazing support by my side, and no time to lose, I found myself creating my business in a matter of days.
Can you tell us more about the range of services you offer through Interiors by Emily Ruth, and which one is your personal favorite to provide?
I provide Interior Decorating help which includes color selection, storage solutions, furniture arrangements, just to name a few! I also provide closet, bathroom and kitchen designs, using state of the art design software, I am able to create floor plans and 3D renderings to help homeowners as well as contractors with project planning and envisioning what the space can look like! Along with the designing and project planning, I have a network of people I work closely with from contractors and painters, upholsterers and custom window treatments, to the many suppliers for custom cabinetry, tile, flooring and furniture! My favorite thing to do is take the weight off my clients and help facilitate the remodel jobs from start to finish. I love not only the before and afters, but I love
PHOTOS BY ELENA DILAI
seeing how excited my clients are and I get just as excited as they do!
How did your passion for interior design begin, and what steps did you take to turn it into a career?
I am first and foremost an artist. I went to school for art education, but then decided not to become an art teacher. After purchasing my first home, I found I had a knack for interior design, and
I got into plumbing and bathroom design. Vanities, toilets, shower doors, tub and shower surrounds, and more! Once again learning all ends from the design end of things, to plumbing, how to run water lines, drains, gas lines, etc. As the years went on I wanted to learn it all! I have a background in closet design, tile, kitchens, bathrooms, and furniture! I found a real passion, helping homeowners with their projects from start to finish.
working with a very small budget, I had to be innovative. Friends and family members began telling me I had an eye for design and loved the things I was doing in my own home. I have been in the home improvement and design industry for almost 20 years now. I got my start in lighting in 2006, working with homeowners as well as interior designers selling interior and exterior lighting. At that time I also learned how to install them, as well as wire switches, outlets, etc. After lighting, I wanted to learn more, so
What has been one of your favorite projects to date, and what made it so special for you?
This is a tough question for me because there are so many projects that stand out! One of my favorites, I’d have to say, is a bathroom conversion I did a few years back! An older home in the city of Rochester that was owned by an artist, had a fairly useless half bath right off his kitchen. We removed the toilet and sink and converted it into a butler’s pantry, jam packed with storage, drawers, and a counter for warming, crockpot cooking! Not only being able to use my creativity on this project, but the client himself is what made it so special! I find myself considering many of my clients, friends at the end of each project. It’s always such a joy and privilege to not only be welcomed into people’s homes, but to be trusted to provide them with their dream space!
As a business owner, what strategies have you found most effective in
{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }
“I try not to let my personal style influence the designs I create! I take every detail into consideration when working on a client’s space.”
Interiors by Emily Ruth?
Social media has been a huge driver for me, utilizing facebook, instagram, tik tok and linked in to showcase my work, have connected me with not only people I’ve met throughout the years, but new people as well! To post something, and then have it shared by others has been huge! I also belong to a couple networking groups and actively participate in different networking events, getting in front of people, building and maintaining connections. I have found that referrals, and word of mouth really help to drive my business.
How do you manage to balance the demands of running your own business with maintaining a fulfilling family life?
I am a single mom with two extremely active kids! My 11 year old daughter is a competitive dancer, and my 14 year old son runs Cross Country, plays piano, trombone, and is a Boy Scout. I run my business mainly M-F during the day and find myself working on designs in between running the kids to and from activities, or at 4am while they’re sleeping! I have also learned the importance of taking a break and making memories with my family as well. Vacations are very important and although at times I find myself still working while on vacation, I be sure to keep it to a minimum and focus on family time.
What are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced as an interior designer, and how have you overcome them? Some spaces can be challenges, with walls that need to stay, or hidden
plumbing in walls or ceilings, that type of thing. It’s always good to have a plan B incase plan A is not going to work! Another big challenge is time management. I give my clients realistic expectations for timelines and although it’s not always what they want to hear, I give them worst case scenarios and let them know to plan for the unexpectedsuch as delay in materials, or unexpected surprises, contractors booked out, etc. Things will always happen, but I always maintain constant communication with my clients.
How do you stay updated with the latest trends and innovations in interior design to ensure your work remains fresh and relevant?
Trends and innovations in interior design are CONSTANTLY changing, and evolving. I follow many businesses, and blogs online, as well as regularly talk with my suppliers to stay in the loop! I regularly attend new material release parties as a way to not only keep on the ever changing trends, but to maintain relationships with others in the industry.
Can you share a memorable experience with a client that had a significant impact on you or your business?
I am currently working with a realtor on her own home, which is my largest project to date! We are updating the flooring on the entire main floor of her home, remodeling the kitchen and the powder room, and will be remodeling the upstairs bathroom in a year or two! What makes this project different from the others is not only the scale, but the materials and contemporary design!
Most designs I do are more traditional, working in older homes in Rochester. This is going to be a gorgeous remodel showcasing white high gloss cabinetry and maximizing storage in a small space. I am so grateful for this client, this project, and the business relationship/ friendship we are building!
How does your personal style influence the designs you create for your clients? I try not to let my personal style influence the designs I create! I take every detail into consideration when working on a client’s space. What influences my designs is the era of the home, and their own personal style. I pay attention to color schemes, and materials already selected throughout the home!
What advice would you give to someone looking to pursue a career in interior design?
There are many avenues you can take in interior design. Decide if you want to focus on one thing, or all aspects. Take time to learn the ins and outs of everything in the home. If you know there is something that you are not well versed in, either take the time to learn it, or grow your network of people so you have someone you can call upon when you need them! a profession in Interior Design is not only a creative profession, but it is really built upon the people you work with.
How do you approach sustainability in your designs, and why is it important to you?
Materials such as flooring and cabinetry are overly manufactured nowadays,
{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }
“I am a single mom with two extremely active kids! My 11 year old daughter is a competitive dancer, and my 14 year old son runs Cross Country, plays piano, trombone, and is a Boy Scout.”
and while budgets are important, I stress the fact of purchasing quality products. At times, spending as little as 10% more will guarantee a quality product vs purchasing something that will only last 5 years. I focus on using quality materials that not only maintain the integrity of the home, but will last for years to come.
Can you walk us through your creative process when working on a new project?
The very first step, and the most important step is the initial consultation. I meet with my clients in their home, take measurements and photos of the space and then begin a discussion. Some clients have an idea of what they are looking for and I notate everything. From wants, to needs, and what is top priority. Having the budget conversation is extremely important, as that will dictate what we can and can not do. Once I have an idea of direction, time frame, expectation, and plan, then I go home and start designing. I draw up floor plans, elevations and 3D renderings. Some clients prefer me to make selections for them in terms of material, while others want to be a part of it every step of the way. I am happy with either! I really enjoy meeting clients and cabinet suppliers and flooring or tile stores to show them all the possibilities and
really hone in on what they should be looking for. I create a portfolio for each client with a plan, quote, selections and renderings. From there they choose to finish the project on their own, or work with my network
the next five years?
My future plans for Interiors by Emily Ruth is really to just continue to grow, educate homeowners, and help them have functional, beautiful homes for years to come! More and more people are
of people and have me facilitate the remainder of the project. I never want a client to feel pressured to work with me. I remain flexible.
What do you envision for the future of Interiors by Emily Ruth, and where do you see your business in
memories or just have an overall feeling of peace.
“Social media has been a huge driver for me, utilizing facebook, instagram, tik tok and linked in to showcase my work, have connected me with not only people I’ve met throughout the years, but new people as well!”
MARYANN RIVERADANNERT
Can you share what inspired you to create MRD Empowerment Solutions and your journey to becoming a certified life coach?
I’ve faced and conquered significant challenges in life, including surviving sexual abuse, being a high school drop-out, overcoming the hardships of teenage motherhood, and enduring domestic violence. These occurrences have shaped my understanding and empathy, allowing me to connect with my clients on a deeper level. I’m not just talking the talk; I’ve walked the walk, and I’m here to help others do the same.
What inspired me to create my business was a desire to become the woman I needed in my life growing up. Before becoming a life coach I was a photographer; but after years of working seven days a week, the work-life balance was nonexistent and I was burned out. I had a business coach, and through her coaching I was led to become a life coach.
all similar in the sense that they all have a foundation, roof, and walls. But the interior is specific to each person. We start by getting clear on what the woman desires in her life, we get clear on the big vision and from there we work backwards to create transformation.
What does “unlocking full potential” mean to you, and how do you guide clients in achieving this?
on what my clients want and why, we focus on equipping women with strategies to build healthy boundaries, shifting their mindset, as they create and live the life they’ve always desired.
One of your core focuses is helping clients find fulfillment and overcome stagnation. What are some of the common challenges people face in reaching fulfillment, and how do you help them address these?
Your coaching style focuses on personalized transformation. How do you tailor your coaching to each individual’s unique needs and goals? The ultimate goal of my coaching is to see women take their power back, for them to realize that they matter and to learn how to prioritize themselves. While there is some customization specific to each woman, there is a solid foundation that must be worked on and the approach is similar. It’s like a house – they are
More often than not, we are doing things that don’t truly align with our deepest desires or true purpose. We get degrees and settle for a job because that’s what our parents wanted for us, we end up in relationships, friendships, or situationships because we are trying to fill a void, and pleasing others. Unlocking your full potential is all about living life on purpose and is in alignment with our values, dreams, and aspirations in life. It’s about creating a life in which you are in control, a life where you are free and happy. We start by getting clear
One of the biggest challenges is believing that we don’t have time and that everything has to be perfect before taking action. There is a specific exercise I have my clients do and we compare that with their current reality, and we start tackling where the gaps are. When we are in the thick of everything it’s hard to see clearly, that’s why working with a coach is important. We focus on what is real and what is not. We look at time management and time robbers… because you would be shocked at how much time we actually spend doing nothing. Time is an important resource and it is one that cannot be replenished. We set small achievable goals, and we also talk about worst case scenarios – meaning… how will your life be impacted if you don’t take action.
Your work emphasizes creating a life of freedom and balance. How do you define these concepts, and what strategies do you suggest to achieve them?
These are two things that are specific to every woman. Once they’ve defined
{ UNSTOPPABLE WOMAN }
“The ultimate goal of my coaching is to see women take their power back, for them to realize that they matter and to learn how to prioritize themselves.”
what freedom and balance mean to them we start working towards that. For me, freedom is about being in full control of my schedule and time. If I want to wake up at 9am, then I can, if I want to get on the next flight and go across the globe, either for business or pleasure [or a combo], then I go – and not worry about asking for approval to take PTO! If I want to meet at friend at 10am for brunch and mimosas or a 2pm Yoga class, so be it. When it comes to balance, I think that word has gotten a bad rap. Balance for me is about giving 100% to whatever I’m currently working on. If it’s time with friends; that has my entire focus. If it’s time with my husband, he has my undivided attention – if t’s time with my children or granddaughters…or a client… whatever I’m focused on at any given moment has 100% of my attention. Balance is possible, you just have to be clear on what it means to you.
As an M/WBE certified business owner, what challenges and triumphs have you experienced in creating a space for empowerment?
To be quite honest, the biggest challenge is myself. I talk about empowerment, living life on purpose, working on your mindset – but these are things I struggle with myself. Any entrepreneur will tell you that there are good business days, and there are days that you have to be purposeful in reminding yourself why you said yes to stepping out on faith and out of your comfort zone. Days, weeks, and sometimes even months go by without a sale. The thoughts of not being good enough
may creep in; that’s when you have to tap into your inner circle, mentors, coaches and seek guidance. Go to those that are where you aspire to be so they can lift you up. In this specific industry there are coaches sprouting out like crazy, and you may feel the industry is saturated. But there is no one like you, no one has your lived experiences, your voice, your passion, your unique way of doing whatever your thing is! I focus on me and being true to me. God put the desires in my heart, I’ve answered the call, and He has my clients already picked out for me. What I need to focus on is showing up, and that is what I strive to do on a daily basis.
You mention the importance of building healthy boundaries. How do you work with clients to establish these boundaries, and why are they essential for personal growth? We sometimes look at boundaries like it’s a dirty word. Boundaries are for what you are going to allow in, and also what is to be kept away. Boundaries are to protect your space, resources, and overall wellbeing. When working with clients, I ask them specific questions… How do they spend their time? What does their calendar look like? What activities are they doing, and why? I carefully listen to their responses, the tone of their voice, their body language, and I dig deeper. One of the biggest hindrances in boundaries is that we feel we are hurting others and letting them down. When in essence we are hurting ourselves, are we are out of balance with ourselves.
What are the lasting changes you hope clients experience after working with you, and how do you support them in making sustainable life shifts? The lasting changes I want to see my clients experience is living a life that they are excited about. A life where they feel joy, love, happiness – and all of these are feelings they’ve created for themselves, not based on others. Because while it is great to have family and friends, to be surrounded by them – the relationship with self is one that will be there forever. When you are confident, bold, and unapologetically living in your truth you are limitless.
Let’s talk about your Fearless Fridays with Maryann podcast. What inspired this series, and what kind of impact are you hoping it has on listeners? The vision for my business is to see women worldwide live a free, fearless and fabulous life. I wanted to be sure I was reaching women across the globe and impacting their lives in a positive and uplifting manner. That is what inspired the podcast, and today we are on about 25 platforms and over 13 countries. The kind of impact I hope listeners will have is to ultimately heal and nurture their inner child.
Tell us about Fabulousness Unleashed Magazine. What can readers expect, and how does it align with your mission to empower and inspire? From the magazine readers can expect bite-size coaching lessons on what I consider to be the five pillars of life: Travel, Finances, Wellness, Mental Health, and Life in general. By collaborating with some amazing
{ UNSTOPPABLE WOMAN }
“I’ve faced and conquered significant challenges in life, including surviving sexual abuse, being a high school drop-out, overcoming the hardships of teenage motherhood, and enduring domestic violence.”
individuals, and guest writers, we provide key takeaways that will inspire and empower every reader. The magazine serves as an extension to what MRD Empowerment Solutions, LLC offers, and we are connecting with a different audience. The magazine provides a wholistic approach to living our best life.
Personalized coaching requires a strong connection with clients. How do you build trust and rapport to ensure each person feels supported and understood?
To have a client choose me as their coach is not something I take lightly. It is a privilege to walk alongside each woman as she transforms and becomes the best version of herself –based on her views and beliefs. Communication is important, along with respect, boundaries, and expectations. I ensure that every client is heard, respected, and gently challenged. I say gently challenged because working with me requires you to do some work, and at times it will be hard work – but I have your back. Also, I want to ensure that when I’m gently putting pressure on you that the woman understands that for change to happen things have to change. If an exercise feels uncomfortable, we talk about it, we shift and we continue onward.
but is unsure about the first steps toward change?
The first step is acknowledging that something is off, admitting that you desire more for yourself and from life, and seeking help. If you’ve been going through the motions of life and
to connect with you and start the conversation.
Looking ahead, what’s next for you and MRD Empowerment Solutions? Are there new programs, projects, or goals on the horizon that you’re excited about?
As 2025 approaches, there are some amazing things on the horizon for MRD. My memoir will be out in 2025 and I plan on doing a 15-city tour, so if you want to see us in your city send me an email to maryann@ maryannriveradannert.com. I also plan on launching three more anthologies, possibly a retreat, continuing to grow my podcast Fearless Fridays with Maryann and the magazine – lastly, getting on more stages sharing my message and helping individuals heal and nurture their inner child, as they fearlessly create the life they were created to have – so they can be free, fearless, and fabulous.
What advice would you give to someone who feels stuck or unfulfilled
constantly putting your dreams and goals on the back burner, waiting for the kids to grow up, waiting for the debts to be paid, waiting for the promotion, waiting for this, waiting for that – those are signs that you need a trusted partner on your transformation journey. I would love
BG DENTAL WELLNESS & COSMETIC CENTER
Introducing BG Dental Wellness and Cosmetic Center, a pioneering holistic and biological dental practice dedicated to whole-body health through cutting-edge, patient-centered care. Founded on a deeply personal journey, BG Dental Wellness was born from a desire to go beyond standard dentistry, offering comprehensive treatment that addresses both oral health and overall well-being. The philosophy is simple but profound: the health of the mouth is interconnected with the health of the body. Here, holistic dentistry is more than just a treatment method—it’s a way to foster a lifetime of wellness.
BG Dental Wellness stands out as a leader in biological dentistry by focusing on prevention, education, and advanced biocompatible technology. The practice’s founder combines expertise with a personal mission to empower patients, hosting monthly seminars to raise awareness of nutrition, wellness, and proactive health. Certified by the International Academy of Oral Medicine and Toxicology (IAOMT), the center upholds the highest standards of care, including safe mercury removal and other specialized techniques. With state-of-the-art tools like intraoral scanners, CBCT imaging, and ozone therapy, BG Dental Wellness delivers precise, minimally invasive treatment that promotes both immediate results and long-term health benefits.
inspired you to create holistic and biological dental practice?
BG Dental Wellness and Cosmetic Center was founded with a vision rooted in holistic and biological dentistry. My own health journey, coupled with various challenges, prompted profound introspection and raised critical questions, such as, “Am I doing enough?” This quest for understanding led me to explore deeper issues, striving to offer more than just temporary solutions to my
patients’ dental concerns. The holistic and functional approach to dentistry allows for an in-depth examination of an individual’s overall health and wellbeing. This patient-centered philosophy emphasizes thorough information gathering, ample consultation time, and genuine care, all of which contribute to enhancing the health of our patients.
BG Dental Wellness is Biologic represents a comprehensive approach to dental care that prioritizes overall health rather than merely addressing oral health as an isolated concern. Given that nearly everything that enters the body does so through the mouth and throat, it can introduce the adverse effects associated with poor oral health. Our focus is on preventive care and collaboration among a diverse team of professionals to promote your well-being, emphasizing health restoration rather than solely disease elimination. A commitment to biocompatibility defines the essence of biological dentistry, ensuring that our practices support your holistic health.
Tell us a little about BG Dental Wellness and Cosmetic Center. What
What makes your practice different from other dental practices in the area? Why is holistic dentistry important to you, and how does it benefit your patients?
The term “holistic” signifies a comprehensive approach, and this philosophy guides our practice. We aim to treat the mouth as interconnected with the entire body, rather than in isolation. Traditional dentistry often operates in silos; however, our office distinguishes itself through a biological, minimally invasive, and technologically advanced approach. We have meticulously explored every avenue to provide the highest quality of care to our patients. Moreover, we are committed not only to delivering exceptional care but also to empowering our patients through education about their health. To this end, we host monthly seminars and invite various practitioners from the holistic community to enhance their understanding of critical topics, such as nutrition.
{ HOLISTIC HARMONY }
“An overabundance of harmful bacteria in the mouth has been associated with various health issues, including diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, dementia, and even cancer.”
How does being a certified IAOMT practice influence the care you provide to your patients?
This organization remains current and adapts to scientific advancements, enabling us to achieve more patientcentered outcomes within a holistic framework.
Being a certified International Academy of Oral Medicine and Toxicology (IAOMT) provider significantly enhances the quality of care provided to patients by prioritizing biocompatibility and safety in dental treatments. This certification ensures that the provider and practice adhere to strict protocols for minimizing toxic exposures from dental materials, such as the safe removal of amalgam fillings through the SMART (Safe Mercury Amalgam Removal Technique) process. Additionally, IAOMT-certified practices emphasize the use of materials and procedures that align with holistic health principles, considering the potential systemic effects of dental treatments on overall well-being. By integrating scientific research and a commitment to patient-centered care, these practices offer a comprehensive approach that respects both oral and overall health, providing patients with peace of mind and a more personalized healthcare experience.
What are some of the key technologies you have invested in to provide state-ofthe-art care, and how do they enhance patient outcomes?
We utilize intraoral scanners to optimizing practice workflows, enhancing time efficiency, and transforming patient experiences, that capture photographic scans of patients’ mouths, providing
detailed visualizations of their teeth, soft tissues, and bite. This technology allows patients to view their oral health from an inside perspective, fostering greater awareness and understanding of the necessary treatments.
Additionally, we have a Cone Beam Computed Tomography (CBCT) machine that offers three-dimensional imaging, significantly enhancing our diagnostic capabilities regarding bone and tissue assessment. This technology aids in the identification of lesions and facilitates precise planning for implants. We are also employing in-office saliva testing with an electron microscope and ozone-generating machines to further enhance our diagnostic and treatment capabilities. Our restorative dentistry procedures incorporate the use of a microscope, a unique feature that improves accuracy and clarity, ultimately leading to better patient outcomes. Our digital radiography system minimizes radiation exposure while delivering exceptional image quality. We prioritize safe mercury removal, equipped with the necessary tools, including large external suction systems. In our commitment to a biological approach, we perform highquality restorative dentistry utilizing the Bioclear treatment methodology. Dr. Gupta has received extensive training in Bioclear, enabling her to offer patients options that promote healthier and more aesthetic teeth retention. Furthermore, we place ceramic implants, which are designed to be more biocompatible and biologically favorable.
How do you integrate your focus on overall health and well-being into
your dental treatments?
The condition of our oral cavity and saliva can provide significant insights into our overall health. An overabundance of harmful bacteria in the mouth has been associated with various health issues, including diabetes, cardiovascular diseases, dementia, and even cancer. Furthermore, the anatomical structure of the mouth can reveal crucial information about an individual’s breathing patterns, particularly during sleep. Additionally, wear and fractures on the teeth can offer further insights into one’s health status. Therefore, a comprehensive understanding of all these factors is essential, as they are interconnected within a holistic health framework.
What role does continuing education play in maintaining the high standards of care at BG Dental Wellness?
Continuing education plays a pivotal role in upholding the high standards of care at BG Dental Wellness. It enables me to remain in a constant state of growth and evolution. Given the rapid advancements in technology and science, it is imperative to stay current in order to fulfill our obligations to our patients, the individuals we serve. I believe that stagnation can undermine positive health outcomes for our patients. Therefore, continuous learning and its application in patient care are of utmost importance to me.
What advice would you give to patients who are new to holistic dentistry and curious about its benefits? What advice would you offer to patients who are new to holistic dentistry and interested in its advantages?
The primary message for these patients
{ HOLISTIC HARMONY }
“Our focus is on preventive care and collaboration among a diverse team of professionals to promote your well-being, emphasizing health restoration rather than solely disease elimination.”
is to avoid settling for a superficial, band-aid approach to dental care. It is crucial to advocate for oneself and to ask the fundamental question of “why.” Understanding the underlying reasons for a condition can significantly clarify the appropriate course of action. Once the “why” is addressed, determining the “what” to do becomes considerably more manageable.
How do you approach cosmetic dentistry from a holistic perspective, and what options are available for
those looking to improve their smile?
In our practice, we prioritize functional health as the primary driver in developing treatment plans. We believe that a patient can possess both a beautiful smile and functional teeth. For instance, a patient with severely crowded or damaged teeth may not initially qualify for an aesthetic makeover. However, by addressing the crowding through orthodontic correction, we can improve both the patient’s dental function and potentially help their breathing/
airway . This approach ultimately allows us to create a visually appealing smile while ensuring the underlying dental health remains robust.
What is the most rewarding part of helping patients achieve better oral and overall health?
The most rewarding experience is alleviating someone’s pain, enabling them to smile once more, and, at times, uncovering the underlying issues affecting their well-being. For instance, there was a patient
{ HOLISTIC HARMONY }
enabling our patients to gain insights not only into their oral health but also into their overall health and
For more information please contact Dr Gupta or check out their website
In October, I turned 31, which prompted my husband and I to reflect on our lives and how far we’ve come. Taking care of Jon, my son, can be challenging. As Jon puts it, “Mom, I’m just a baby that can talk because I need help with all aspects of daily living.” To be honest, sometimes I envy my friends who are grandparents, traveling the world, and enjoying their retirement. Although I am of retirement age, unfortunately, it is not in my future. I work full-time and am grateful to have found a job that allows me to work remotely from home with minimal travel. We also appreciate the team of nurses and aides who help care for Jon during the workweek.
With each birthday we celebrate, two thoughts come to mind: our time with Jon is becoming shorter, and we are thankful for his stable health. Discussing his birthday and what he wanted to do felt like pulling teeth; Jon showed little interest in going anywhere special or out to dinner. My husband, daughter, and I felt defeated. Last year, Jon was just out of the hospital, so that birthday was quite low-key. This year, it seemed Jon didn’t want to celebrate at all.
One of his nurses made a surprise birthday cake, but we planned to cut it after his birthday. Generally, I have everything organized well in advance, but I twisted my knee this year, making shopping difficult. I felt like a terrible mother for not being prepared for Jon’s birthday. Jon’s sister, Kat, tried to coax him out of his shell,
REFLECTION
BY CHRISTINE PIACENTINO
but nothing seemed to work. On the eve of his birthday, Kat surprised Jon with balloons. He didn’t expect it at all and had a massive smile on his face. We managed to pull off a special dinner, picking up plenty of birthday cards, an assortment of pastries from Savoia Pastry Shoppe, and the ingredients for Jon’s favorite steak and shrimp cocktail dinner. Kat and her boyfriend joined us for our impromptu celebration. The following night, his nurse brought her homemade red velvet cake with cream cheese and Oreo frosting—Jon’s absolute favorite. Ultimately, Jon loved having his birthday celebrated and was genuinely surprised. My husband and I reflected on how this spontaneous celebration turned into a lovely family gathering. We were relieved that it all came together, and Jon ended up fully engaged in the celebration.
For years, my husband has struggled to process Jon’s life and how it influences his abilities. He has felt angry about the challenges we face. My husband and I coped with Jon’s diagnosis differently; I focused on educating myself and finding the best possible care to enhance his life. I served on the national board for Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy (PPMD) for 20 years, working full-time while managing Jon’s medical team. I traveled nationwide for board meetings, which felt like a second full-time job without pay. My husband had a tough time understanding my active role in PPMD, though he has also contributed significantly by parenting
our kids and securing local support and assistance for Jon’s future. As we reminisced about those years, my husband realized that the sacrifices were worthwhile. My work with PPMD led to improved standards of care and an increased life span for patients like Jon. Additionally, the neuromuscular clinic at Strong became a certified Duchenne center. Reflecting on Jon’s life and our experiences, we recognized that the trips to Salt Lake City, UT; Gainesville, FL; Toronto; Cincinnati, OH; and New York City for clinical trial were all worth it. As Pat Furlong, President, and CEO of PPMD, puts it, “Welcome to the life you never expected.” Indeed, my husband and I never anticipated this path. We have always lived by Winston Churchill’s words: “Never, ever, ever, ever give up!” Were we the best parents? I’m not sure. But my husband and I always strive to do our best. All we can do is hope for the best outcomes possible and trust our instincts and try to do the best we can in any situation put in front of us.
We are only human, not saints, and certainly far from perfect. We have managed our lives by working together and playing to each of our strengths, not focus on the weaknesses and flaws.
{ VITALITY VIBES
RESTORING COMMUNITIES & SUPPORTING WELLNESS
BY DOMINIC PIACENTINI
Dominic Piacentini’s Commitment to Healing and Awareness
October is a month dedicated to two important causes: Domestic Violence Awareness and Breast Cancer Awareness. For Dominic Piacentini, founder of R4 Wellness & Consulting, these themes resonate deeply with the core of his work—restorative practices and holistic wellness. His career has been about fostering connection, healing, and building communities that can thrive through empathy and understanding.
Dominic Piacentini: A Leader in Education and Restorative Practices
With over two decades of experience in education, Dominic Piacentini has built a career focused on fostering positive relationships and personal growth. From classroom teaching to administrative leadership, his approach has always centered on understanding people and building strong, supportive environments.
Over ten years ago, Dominic began working with Restorative Practices, an approach that focuses on repairing harm, rebuilding trust, and improving communication. These practices have transformed the way he interacts with colleagues in the workplace and even the people in his personal life, and they are now the foundation of his work through R4 Wellness and Consulting. His mission is to help schools, businesses, and community organizations create environments where relationships and understanding are prioritized, leading to healthier, more productive communities. Restorative Practices and Domestic Violence Awareness Domestic violence is a complex and
devastating issue, affecting individuals, families, and communities. During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we focus on supporting survivors and creating spaces where healing can happen. Restorative Practices offer a framework that can be valuable in these situations by promoting empathy, accountability, and dialogue.
Although Dominic’s work primarily focuses on schools, businesses, and local organizations, the principles of Restorative Practices can be an effective approach for addressing domestic violence. By encouraging open communication and community support, these practices can help survivors rebuild their lives and foster environments where they feel safe and heard. Restorative circles, for example, provide a space for people to express their experiences and be supported by others, promoting healing on both an individual and communal level.
In a broader sense, Restorative Practices help communities take collective responsibility for addressing harm and fostering safety, which is critical in the fight against domestic violence.
Holistic Wellness and Breast Cancer Awareness
Breast Cancer Awareness Month is a time to focus on the physical and emotional challenges faced by those diagnosed with the disease. Dominic’s approach to wellness is holistic, emphasizing the integration of physical, mental, and spiritual health. Through R4 Wellness and Consulting, he shares practices like mindfulness, team-building, and stress management that help individuals and organizations cultivate well-being.
These wellness practices are especially relevant for those dealing with breast cancer, as they offer tools for managing the emotional and psychological aspects of illness. Mindfulness, for example, can help reduce anxiety and promote a sense of calm during treatment and recovery. By fostering resilience in mind and body, Dominic’s approach provides a path toward healing that goes beyond physical treatment.
Wellness is also about community. Dominic’s work encourages people to support each other in meaningful ways, whether through listening, presence, or creating spaces for connection. For survivors of breast cancer, having a strong, empathetic support system can make a significant difference in their journey toward recovery.
R4 Consulting: Fostering Connection and Healing
At the heart of Dominic’s work with R4 is a commitment to creating environments where people feel connected and supported. Whether working with a school district on implementing restorative practices, working with local firefighters to better understand the ways in which they process the stresses of the job, or leading a wellness retreat, his focus is always on helping people build stronger relationships and healthier communities.
The name R4 stands for “Real Restoration for Real Results,” reflecting Dominic’s belief that authentic, lasting change comes from a deep commitment to understanding and healing. In schools, this might mean helping teachers and
“The goal is the same: to create spaces where people can thrive through empathy, collaboration,”
students resolve conflicts through restorative circles. In businesses, it could involve improving team communication and conflict resolution. The goal is the same: to create spaces where people can thrive through empathy, collaboration, and mutual respect.
A Focus on Healing and Community
As October highlights both Domestic Violence Awareness and Breast Cancer Awareness, Dominic Piacentini’s work
is a reminder of the importance of healing and community. Through restorative practices and holistic wellness, he offers tools that foster connection and support, whether in professional settings or personal lives. His approach emphasizes that healing is not just an individual journey, but one that requires the care and involvement of the entire community.
In a world where challenges like domestic
violence and breast cancer affect so many, Dominic’s work through R4 Wellness and Consulting reflects the vital role of empathy, understanding, and restorative care in creating healthier, more resilient communities.
THIS IS LIFE!
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
My mother slipped away on a warm July morning, and just 58 days later, I was on a plane bound for Italy, ready to step into a life I had long kept on pause.
The autumn before had shaken me awake, reminding me that life wouldn’t wait for me to start living it. Years of excuses – work, finances, motherhood – had kept my dreams at bay.
The occasional getaways to Florida were nice, but I craved something more. I kept waiting for someone to invite me on an adventure, to nudge me into the world. That invitation never came. Watching my friends’ lives unfold on Instagram—from cliffside sunsets to bustling streets in faraway cities—left me envious.
When I turned 60, I decided to gift myself the adventure I had been denying for so long. I was done being a spectator. It was time for my own story.
My good friend, who had always dreamed of going to London, was eager to join. But as we started planning, she was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. She endured weeks of radiation. I found myself far more afraid for her life than the logistics of figuring out my first overseas trip. Six months later, when her scans came back clear, we returned to our
BY ROBIN DEWIND
planning with renewed purpose and decided to extend our journey.
Our travel agent thought bigger than we did.
She said, “If you’re going to spend all that money and time to fly to
Reels of chic raincoats for navigating London’s drizzle and photos of flowerdraped pubs where we’d laugh over pints of beer.
But beneath the excitement, there was always my heavy heart knowing my mother, lost in the final stages of Alzheimer’s, would no longer be there to share this next chapter in my life. My journey to Europe became one of the most transformative experiences of my life.
That was all it took.
We jumped up and down outside her office, giddy like children, and shouted, ‘Are we really doing this?’ We imagined ourselves dining beneath lemon trees, the Mediterranean stretched out before us, sipping prosecco at a beach club. We shared
Surprisingly, it wasn’t about the destinations that left the deepest impression, but the lessons they offered along the way.
The vibrant cultures, new flavors, and stunning landscapes were breathtaking, but what stayed with me was the way Italians live: with deliberate slowness, savoring every bite, every moment. Meals weren’t rushed, the wine left you clear-headed, and you had to ask for the check as if it were an invitation to linger, to soak in the joy of simply being present.
On a chartered boat around Capri Island, after a swim, the captain passed around limoncello. A young man lounging next to us raised his glass and simply said, ‘This is life.’
And in that moment, I knew I was choosing to live my life and all its possibilities.
“When I turned 60, I decided to gift myself the adventure I had been denying for so long. I was done being a spectator. It was time for my own story”
The Amalfi Coast left me in awe.
London made me feel invigorated. London is a city that honors its history. It’s been burned, bombed, and pillaged, yet it always found a way to build itself back up. For years, I had watched its scenes unfold only on television - a packed Trafalgar Square on New Year’s Eve, the royal waves from Buckingham Palace’s iconic balcony, and the grandeur of London Bridge. But no image or screen could capture the true majesty of Big Ben.
As we wandered the streets, getting lost more than once, each wrong turn felt like a hidden gift, leading us to unexpected places and people that weren’t on our itinerary. Every detour became part of a new story we laughed about later.
Instead of looking down at my phone for direction, I learned to look up, take a deep breath, and trust that I would figure out where I was going.
Scrolling through my photos reminds me that I am capable of so much
loss of my mom for years, one painful day at a time. She fought to live longer than was expected. It was humbling to share that experience with her and I wonder now if she was trying to tell me to fight for mine.
To truly live, and not just sustain. My trip reawakened me.
My movie will be titled ‘Eat, Pray, Marvel.’
If you are brave enough to leave your comfort zone behind and regard everything as a journey, and every experience as a teacher, you can begin to heal.
That young man on the boat was right: this is life.
{
{ BEAUTIFUL, POWERFUL, DESERVING } BREAKING THE STIGMA PART III:
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
BY VERONICA RYAN
Life or Death: Your Call
My longtime therapist couldn’t treat the borderline personality disorder (BPD) she suspected, so with her last words, “It’s going to be a good life,” echoing—unbelieved—in my ears, I entered the Psychiatry High Risk Program (PHRP) in June of 2022. I entered treatment as a passive participant, only going because I felt I had to, and because there was nowhere else to go. I felt lost and alone, an exile in a strange land. My new (and unfamiliar) therapist, G, at the PHRP told me that if I committed myself to the therapy, he could guide me out of my exile, and that my life could go on. All well and good, I suppose, but then he admitted that life on the other side wouldn’t look like the life I had left behind. For me, that was a deal breaker.
I couldn’t have cared less about this “new life.” Instead of working toward it, I was doing everything I could to claw back my old life, the one I had lost, the one that was an innocent bystander cut down by the eruption of my illness. That life was dead, but I couldn’t let it go. It’s like I was sitting in a silent hospital room, still holding its cold hand, telling myself it would wake up any second. G wouldn’t go along with my macabre fantasy, and I hated him for it. He barged into that silent hospital room and pulled up a chair next to mine.
He was alive, obnoxiously so, and that made the hand I held seem even colder. He told me I was not a visitor in my hospital room, but a prisoner, and I’d stay there until I decided to leave. If my dagger stares did not tell him of my dislike, the pout on my face certainly did…or the words I have never been known to mince. I came to view each of our weekly appointments as a game to be
my time as an inpatient, and even as the weeks with G went on, I was not ready to commit to life.
Living in unspeakable pain, suicide seemed the only way out, and thoughts of it were—I know this sounds impossible if you’ve never been there—comforting. The therapy went on, but still I daydreamed about different ways to end my life. I won’t go into detail here, as it makes for grim reading, but there wasn’t a plan or method I didn’t consider. Thoughts of suicide even came to bed with me. It became my own morbid lullaby and prayer, “Maybe tomorrow. Just hold on tight and sleep now, but maybe I can end the pain tomorrow.” Being suicidal is like walking a tightrope. You never know which step might be fatal; you never know which day might
else. At the time, I often relied on dissociation to make it through my waking hours. Once reserved for periods of intense emotional stress, it had almost become my permanent state of being. This severe breakup of my own person left me completely catatonic, surrendering myself to silence. It was my body’s way of protecting me: as long as I was not me, I could not kill myself. And I needed that protection. Even after
Looking back now, it’s painfully obvious that I was not ready for the PHRP. I didn’t commit to the therapy—couldn’t commit to the therapy—because I didn’t believe for a second that it would work. Besides the fact that I had no interest in being saved, I didn’t believe any of it, not after so many tried and failed treatments. After ten years of various therapies, and countless medications that lined people’s pockets while I stayed sick, there wasn’t a single part of the whole medical system that I
{ BEAUTIFUL, POWERFUL, DESERVING }
“I couldn’t choose life, but thanks to G, I didn’t choose death either.”
trusted. I did not doubt the PHRP itself, the groundbreaking dynamic deconstructive psychotherapy it utilized, or the brilliant doctor who created it all. I simply thought my pain was too deep, and I was too far gone to be saved.
My PHRP intake assessment didn’t seem to contradict me on that. I was given extensive testing, arguably the best in the nation. The results showed I had severe anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, and was at moderate risk for suicide. I came to learn much later (on the other side of it all), that I had been one of the program’s most challenging cases of BPD in terms of personality structure. Excerpt: “Ms. Ryan endorsed fears of abandonment, alternating patterns of idealization and devaluation in relationships, history of self-harm behaviors, labile mood, anger issues, and paranoia, derealization, and depersonalization when under stress…Ms. Ryan experiences marked impairment in daily responsibilities, severe levels of depression, severe levels of anxiety, and low self-compassion…. Past month suicidal ideation without intent…Denied any specific plan… Currently, Ms. Ryan’s scores do meet criteria for a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder.”
So, there we were. I, self-destructive, mistrustful of the whole medical system and walled off in my dark, silent, imaginary hospital room. And G, optimistic, hopeful, and telling me that I could not only survive, but have a transformative life experience.
All I had to do, he said, was give the therapy a chance. I refused, dragging my chair closer to the hospital bed. G kept trying. He opened the shades; I turned my face from the light. He cracked the door to let in laughter from the hall; I covered my ears. Back and forth we went, in our strange chess match. But it couldn’t go on. I wasn’t improving, because I had decided not to. It was time to stop playing. G was no pawn; life was no game. It was time to decide: life or death? It was my call.
I couldn’t choose life, but thanks to G, I didn’t choose death either. I took what seemed like the only option, I chose not to choose, trapped in purgatory by my own hand. So, I showed G the way out. I left my bedside vigil just long enough to slam the door in his face, but—I will admit it now—I missed him once he was gone. I was on my own for several months, but G was still at work. My room seemed too dark, but then I noticed G had left the shades open just a bit. It seemed too quiet, but then I saw G had left the door cracked open, and there was still laughter in the hall. The hand I held—the old life I held—felt too cold, so I let go of it, just long enough to call the PHRP. I was ready to try again. …End Part III…
Join me next month for Breaking the Stigma Part IV: A Love Letter to Upstate
Not broken, beautiful. XOXO
CREATIVELY REMOVING SELF-IMPOSED ROADBLOCKS
BY LISA WAGNER
Many moons ago, on my 33rd birthday, I had a long moment of self-reflection that shifted my own internal beliefs and dialogue. I contemplated how this was the age at which Jesus was crucified and the wisdom and complete self-awareness he had possessed, and I hadn’t even come close to that level of consciousness. Within that personal work, I noticed how many self-imposed roadblocks I had put up. Especially ones that showed up as procrastination and lack of self-discipline to do my artwork that masked my fear of my own power.
I recently offered a free class to my subscribers and for those who had come to the Mind, Body & Spirit Wellness Expo in October. My goal with this class was to help participants recognize their own self-imposed roadblocks and find ways to remove them through creativity. This mini class allowed them to explore what was showing up for them on their paper and in their consciousness. Then having an openness about how they wished to move forward to conquer their fears. I would love to have you try this exercise, too.
First, you will need to grab a piece of blank paper and a pen or marker and write out the answers to the questions that I asked my students. When you write them out, do so in cursive and in full sentences. The loopier the handwriting, the better! Each answer should intersect the last answer you wrote, which can be done by turning your paper 90° or writing each word in various areas
throughout the blank paper.
My first question to you: What do you do to avoid your greatness or the thing you’ve always wanted to do or try? Each of my students and myself all had the same answer for this question. We lacked discipline to get into our studio space each day for even just 15 minutes. Your answer should be something uniquely tied to your own experience, (although focus and discipline tend to be very common; our phones certainly do not help that).
Second question: When I am doing the thing that I wish I was either more of (disciplined, focused, etc.), or want to be doing, it makes me feel _______________. (Fill in the blank with any or all the emotions you experience.)
3rd question: In order to feel _______________ (insert answer you gave for the second question), I would need to ___________________. (Write down any of the actions you feel would help you achieve your goal (answer from question number 2). Final question: Once I achieve my goal, I know that I will feel _______________. (Write out all the positive emotions that would accompany this achievement.)
Once you have written all the answers on your paper, get a few different colored writing utensils like markers, colored pens or crayons, and notice the shapes that they created. Color those shapes in with various colors. Most
find a repetitive pattern beginning to emerge on their paper that has a meaning or personal emotion attached to it.
On my piece, which is pictured in this article, I found a bird. Birds are my personal symbol for hope and joy. There were also hearts and butterflies. These shapes represent messages from my angels. Each person we’ll get exactly the shapes that they need to receive the messages that their heart has been trying to send them. This act of creativity is a gateway into the answers that you seek. They have been waiting for you to take the time to listen. Creativity opens up time and space for that to happen. It is like a gateway to the soul.
Finding a support system for this type of self-growth is immensely helpful. The students in this class have asked me to start an e-mail chain so that we can support one another through removing these roadblocks and opening to the possibilities for greater joy. Being open to listening and sitting with answers from outside ourselves is how we achieve greater soul growth. It moves us away from ego and into the realm of love. We extricate fear in doing so. This is where your greatness lies. The shapes that were created on your paper are sweet little messages you probably needed to hear or helped you to receive the validation you had been seeking.
This greatness was there when we were children. As we grow older, cynicism and egoic fear take hold of us in ways
{ A WOMAN’S
“My door is always open to hear about your new journey and experiences since taking your first step towards living fully in love.”
that stymie our ascent into a higher vibration that we were innately born with. Watching my granddaughter create with her sidewalk chalk and her fat crayons on a blank piece of paper with reckless abandon and complete and utter joy reminds me of what real creativity and self-love look like. She is my reminder to let go of preciousness, perfectionism and self-judgment. That this is where my heart is allowed to be free. That is our birthright that we hideaway because we don’t want to be hurt or judged. It is time to move out of that mindset and be fully alive, just like she is.
Make it your new life’s mission to be honest about your fears that have inhibited your growth from this point forward. You may be incredibly successful in this new way of being and most likely, not so successful. Remember that you are truly shifting your fearful mindset into something of a higher and more loving vibration. What an eye-opening and inspiring endeavor! Strive to notice your inner thoughts, behaviors, reactions and a now more intentional life’s purpose. Creatively removing the emotional roadblocks that have held you back from being your most beautifully unique self will garner joy, freedom and peace in your heart that it yearns
to live in fully. You are worthy of the work. It is our job as humans to do this work without giving up on ourselves. It needs to be seen and experienced by all of humanity.
My door is always open to hear about your new journey and experiences since taking your first step towards living fully in love. I’m so happy and excited for you to shine! If you’d like to join our creative support group, please send me your email and I will add you to my subscriber list. We would be thrilled to have you become part of our loving group! lisa@lisawagnerart.com
HUSTLE CULTURE IS CANCELLED
Work smarter, not harder.
Being a woman in a man’s world of entrepreneurship is hard enough as it is, and then you add all the face-value expectations. I’m sure, at one point or another, you’ve heard the term “hustle culture.” It’s basically a way of working that celebrates the sacrifice of sleep, hobbies, relationships, and health for the sake of success. It originated in the 1990s and early 2000s, at the height of the tech and social media startup boom. In other words, you’re working excessively to reach professional success and showcasing it like a badge of honor. Sound familiar?
At one point, I thought the workaholic trait was admirable— constantly living off Monster Energy drinks and four hours of sleep. Until burnout, anxiety, and an empty bank account plagued me, turning into depression and disgust. The worst part of this cycle was that I was completely unaware of how bad it had gotten. I was so blinded by my success as an IT professional at my corporate job that I didn’t realize how it was affecting my health, my kids, and, most importantly, covering the truth of a toxic relationship I was in.
Worse yet, I used my work as an escape. If I was constantly busy
BY ANNE LEAH MAURO
working, it gave me an excuse disguised as a badge of honor.
It was July 2014 when I got an undeniable urge to sign up for an MSF course to learn how to ride a motorcycle. The trigger? My significant other at the time was never home, leaving me to take care of everything, while he rode a motorcycle that I was paying for—and I was supposed to learn to ride.
I never even told him I signed up. I paid and took the three-day course. We were both amazed when I passed with flying colors. I received my endorsement and was then a licensed motorcycle rider. When I got my new ID in the mail from the DMV with the “M” on it, I was over the moon, ecstatic. This was the biggest accomplishment I had ever done alone. It was a major turning point in my life, because no one else was happy for me.
The blinders of “all work and no play” had been lifted. My new escape wasn’t work anymore—it was riding my motorcycle.
I talked about it all the time, researched what bike I wanted, and everyone lost their minds because it wasn’t hustle-culture approved. It gave me freedom, empowerment, and, most of all, passion. The one person who pretended to
be happy—but secretly hated it—was my significant other. By March 2015, I had my own 250 Kawasaki Ninja and a new sense of life. I couldn’t care less where my ex was or what boss wanted me to work late. All I knew was that I woke up earlier, got my kids to daycare on time, rode the long way to work, got all my important work done, and left promptly after my shift so I could ride the long way home. I picked up my kids, and then, happily exhausted, went to bed at a decent time.
Fast forward to 2018, when I lost my IT job and was thrust into the world of entrepreneurship. My hustle-culture, workaholic self crept back in, driven by fear and anxiety. At that time, my now-husband had been building an Ironhead Sportster. By the time he finished it, I had already given birth to our last child. The pandemic was in full swing, and him and the kids convinced me to take it for a test drive—ape hangers and all.
Scared for my life (since I had never ridden a Harley with a cable clutch or been on a motorcycle in about four years), I jumped on it, took it for a ride around the block twice with no issue. My husband and kids cheered me on like I had won an Olympic medal. His words: “We’re getting you another bike!”
“Work doesn’t feel like work because I’m doing something I love. It’s fulfilling my mission and my vision without burning me out.”
We purchased my 883, and two seasons later, I got my bigger Street Bob and have never looked back at the hustle-culture life. In fact, it has opened new opportunities, passions, and given me a diversified income stream.
The best part? Work doesn’t feel like work because I’m doing something I love. It’s fulfilling my mission and my vision without burning me out.
We, as women, are done hustling for success, acceptance, and money. We are now living our lives unapologetically, on our own terms, at a pace that fulfills and serves us and a greater purpose. We are working smarter, not harder, by fueling our legacies. We’re prioritizing our health, our sleep, our families, and, most importantly,
our hobbies and interests—and finding ways to turn them into income streams.
Until Next Time - Keep Fueling Your Legacy, Anne
LINDSAY OBRIEN COUCHMAN
Tell us a little about yourself, Lindsay O’Brien-Couchman, and what led you to pursue a career in real estate. I was born and raised in West Irondequoit, where I have resided my whole life. I have a wonderful husband that serves our community in Law enforcement, and two beautiful daughters. I spend my days surrounded by friends and family. I try to be involved in my community through various ways, from helping at my kids’ school, to donating time and money to local organizations. Losing my father to Pancreatic Cancer four years ago was the push which led me to get my Real Estate License, I wanted to make him proud.
What inspired you to become a real estate agent, and how has your journey evolved since you started?
Losing my father was what inspired me to Get My Real Estate license. I had to change my daily routines and make life busy with new opportunities and lots of positivity. December 15, 2024, will conclude 3 full years that I have been in the real estate world. When I started, I was passionate and determined to make my Dad proud. I have continued to grow as an agent, and I am in the top 10 agents in volume of sales in 14617.
tools and resources to help us stand out amongst our competitors. When I was 20 years old, I purchased my first home in West Irondequoit through Nothnagle, now Howard Hanna. I had an amazing experience then, so when I was ready to take a leap and change career paths, I knew just who to call! Cathy Bianchi and Elaine Hanford welcomed me with open arms at the Irondequoit office. I knew this is where I wanted to work and serve the people in my community,
or grow as they age and mature.
What do you enjoy most about helping clients buy or sell their homes?
I am both a listing and buyer’s agent, so I have the pleasure of helping clients achieve their Real Estate goals in various ways. I especially like when I can help a person or family achieve what so many believe is the American dream. Building trust and loyalty between me and my clients are the two components that I enjoy.
and beyond!
The phrase “Home is where the story begins” is powerful. How do you bring that sentiment into your work with clients?
What are some of the biggest challenges you’ve encountered in the real estate market, and how have you overcome them? Real Estate is a fast-paced, very demanding job that requires long hours and self-accountability to be successful. We as agents face problems, or bumps in the road often. One of the biggest challenges in this market is setting realistic expectations for buyers and sellers. That is why creating a plan for success and having clear communication helps overcome that obstacle.
How do you approach making the home-buying or selling process as smooth as possible for your clients?
Why did you choose to work with Howard Hanna, and what sets the company apart for you?
Thats a wonderful question, I love being a Howard Hanna agent for numerous reasons. The Company stands behind you as an agent and they offer so many
“Home is where the story begins” is a part of my marketing and is the foundation of my business for a few reasons. It was always a statement that my mom referenced as my sister, and I were growing up. Your home is where you should find peace, comfort, and put down your roots. My clients are looking for a home to start their story
Communication is Key! This business we cover many aspects of the transaction so staying on top of deadlines and having great communication is so important and helps drive your referral business.
What advice would you give to firsttime homebuyers who are feeling overwhelmed by the process?
First, I set up a meeting in my office, or
“Your home is where you should find peace, comfort, and put down your roots. My clients are looking for a home to start their story or grow as they age and mature.”
virtually if out of town. In this meeting we will cover what the buying experience looks like in today’s market. I walk them through the process from start to finish using a diagram to help. We review important documentation that needs to be signed prior to looking at a house, review various terms and help separate myth vs. Facts. This all builds trust between you and your client and that is so important to help alleviate stress and becoming overwhelmed.
What has been the most memorable experience you’ve had working with a client, and why does it stand out to you?
One of the most memorable experiences I have had working with a client is when I went to pick up their EMD check and the individual broke down saying “thank you, I have had a very tough life and after years of renting never thought homeownership would be possible.” I remember him just being overwhelmed with emotion. I was happy he trusted me to help achieve a lifelong dream.
How do you balance the demands of your career with your personal life and family?
Time management and being able to be self-motivated at all hour’s day and night is what enable me to balance my career and my personal life. I have numerous responsibilities and some days it’s more difficult but staying focused and driven helps create balance for me.
What are some of the qualities that you believe make a great real estate agent, and how do you embody those qualities?
Communication, loyalty, trust, determination, perseverance, being authentic and overall great social skills help make you a great agent. I Believe in myself and believe that I embody all those traits.
How do you stay up-to-date with the latest trends and changes in the real estate market?
I always continue to learn and grow, I attend our office meetings, I take classes to grow, I attended the Buffini classes, I have designations through Howard Hanna. I speak to our attorneys, mortgage originators, inspectors, and appraisers to help stay up to date on what’s going on.
What role does Howard Hanna’s reputation as the #1 privately owned real estate company play in your success?
Howard Hanna reputation in the Real estate community speaks for itself. We are innovative in ways to success in this ever-changing business. Howard Hanna is always finding ways to thrive and support their agents to succeed in maintaining being #1. When working with buyers and sellers it gives them added confidence that they will have a wonderful agent, a smooth transaction, and a great experience from start to finish.
What do you find most rewarding about being able to help clients find their dream homes or sell their property?
The most rewarding part of being an agent is when you get the call that your client’s offer has been accepted and you call your client to share in that moment of pure joy and excitement for what that means to change their life. On the flip side when you’re a listing agent and you
are about to deliver great news on the offers received. The money sometimes gives clients peace of mind, financial freedom, relief of burdens, it creates a wonderful moment to sit together and share in life’s journey.
What are your long-term goals as a real estate professional, and where do you see yourself in the next few years? I have a very driven and determined mindset. I am not sure where I will be in 5 Years but hopefully, I will be able to continue to help buyers and sellers while impacting my community. I always want to be the agent that stands out for kind, respectful behavior, and helping to make a change with my time, money, and opportunities that real estate gives me.
Outside of real estate, what are some hobbies or interests that you are passionate about?
Outside of Real Estate being with my family and pets is what makes me the happiest. I am involved in many areas of my community. I have been a Girl Scout troop leader for over 10 years, I volunteer my time at community events, I actively volunteer in West Irondequoit Central School District activities and PTSA events. I have a love for Seneca Lake and the peace it brings me, I love spending time on the water with family remembering old times and creating new memories. I am passionate about helping animals, so I donate items and money to help different organizations and people.
“Working with Kera has been a transformational experience. What I appreciate about how she works with her clients is that she looks at the overall objectives of the business and then creates a plan of how events can support the long-term revenue goals of the company I could tell by our conversation that the strategies she shared with me were not cookie cutter but truly highlighted her strong capability in this area and a speciality in event planning that is rare to find in the industry. If you are looking for not just an event planner but a strategic partner to support you in reaching your target then I would highly recommend having a conversation to see how Kera and her team can support you ”
LaDawn Townsend CEO, VOS Group
{ THE COACHING CORNER }
EMBRACING THE BEAUTIFUL CHAOS
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
A Journey to Self-Acceptance
In the whirlwind of motherhood, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are. Between diaper changes, school drop-offs, and endless to-do lists, your days are filled with tasks that demand your attention and energy. The chaos can be overwhelming, leaving you wondering if you’ll ever find a moment of peace. What if there is a silver lining? Recognizing that peace doesn’t come from a perfectly organized life, but from embracing the chaos and learning to love yourself in the midst of it.
Society often paints a picture of the “perfect mom,” the one who has it all together, who has a pristine house, and whose children are always well-behaved. This ideal is not only unrealistic but also damaging. Chasing perfection can leave you feeling like you’re constantly falling short, fueling feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and overwhelm. But here’s the truth: perfection doesn’t exist, and it’s not a prerequisite for being a good mom. The key to finding peace is letting go of this myth and accepting yourself as you are.
BY KRISTA HUDSON
your life. Rather, it’s something you cultivate within yourself, regardless of your external circumstances. This begins with being present, truly present, in the moment. When you’re playing with your kids, allow yourself to fully enjoy their laughter. When you’re cooking dinner, savor the smells and textures of the food. These small moments of mindfulness can create a sense of peace that sustains
and desires. Understanding what truly matters to you is essential for living a fulfilling life. Take some time to reflect on your core values; Those principles that guide your decisions and give your life meaning. Is it important for you to nurture creativity in your children? Do you value quality time with your family over a spotless home? Identifying these values helps you make choices that align with who you are, rather than who you think you should be. It also helps you recognize where boundaries need to be placed.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned as a life coach is that peace isn’t something you find by eliminating stress or chaos from
of what we have, rather than what we don’t, it helps shift our energy and mindset to one of fulfillment. We are also reminded to focus on ourselves, rather than comparing ourselves to others.
In the midst of busy lives, it’s easy to lose touch with our own values
Next, think about your desires—not just the practical ones, but the deep, sometimes hidden, longings of your heart. Do you dream of starting a small business, or maybe going back to school? Do you wish for more time for selfcare? Acknowledging these desires can be the first step toward making them a reality. Remember, your dreams are just as important as anyone else’s, and pursuing them doesn’t make you a bad mom—it makes you a fulfilled one. Remember the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Filling your cup with your desires, and living in your truest values, allows you to fill your cup, and show up as your true, authentic self every day.
“Do you dream of starting a small business, or maybe going back to school? Do you wish for more time for self-care? Acknowledging these desires can be the first step toward making them a reality.”
Self-love is the pillar of inner peace, but it’s often the first thing to be neglected when overwhelmed. You might feel like you don’t have time for self-care, or that prioritizing yourself is selfish. However, loving yourself isn’t about indulgence; it’s about selfcompassion and acceptance. It’s about recognizing that you’re doing your best, even when things don’t go as
planned. It’s about forgiving yourself for your perceived shortcomings and celebrating your strengths.
Motherhood is inherently chaotic, and that chaos can be beautiful when you stop fighting it and start embracing it. By accepting yourself for who you are, connecting with your values and desires, and cultivating self-love,
you can find peace in the midst of the craziness. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect to be an amazing mom. You just have to be you and that’s more than enough.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LIVE A SYMBOLIC LIFE?
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
To explore what it means to live a symbolic life, we first need to understand what symbols truly are.
Simply put, symbols are signs, omens, and harbingers. They offer insight into our current reality, serve as confirmations of our intuitive nudges, and act as guideposts that aid our discernment.
Symbols often reach us through sensory input but can also arise in our awareness through archetypal representations. Here are some examples of symbols in the natural world:
Deciduous trees losing their leaves signify winter’s approach. Spring peepers signal that a frostfree date is near.
Red-winged blackbirds returning in droves announce the arrival of spring. Or consider the butterfly that lingered with you on your lunch break, a near-miss accident on your commute, or the feather that landed in your soup when there was no breeze. Perhaps a stunning sunrise appeared just after you lost someone dear, or a friend offered you a pomegranate, only for a podcast episode about Persephone’s descent to the Underworld to play later that day. What about astrological events?
Symbols can be mundane interactions that could be
BY TERE MARIE
easily overlooked, or they can SCREAM obvious messages.
How Does One Begin to Live a Symbolic Life?
Living a symbolic life begins with a willingness to receive these messages. It involves a belief that the universe is conspiring in your favor, offering you insights and lessons at every turn. Recognize that an energetic consciousness exists within you and in every being—animal, plant, mineral, and elemental—in our ecosystem. Just as iron filings are drawn to a magnet, attraction is happening at every moment.
To live symbolically, you must keep an open channel to receive these signs:
Keep your gaze soft and attentive, scanning for what the world might be presenting to you.
Practice
presence. Observe deeply
Journal your observations. Maintain a clear, unobstructed “temple” (body, spirit, and mind) through mindful spiritual hygiene. It also means studying archetypal representations in mythology, folklore, astrology, Jungian psychology, and more—and learning to recognize these archetypes in your surroundings.
Living a symbolic life goes beyond mere observation; it requires perceiving, integrating, and listening for what symbols have to communicate. Are you open to hearing them?
Radical Responsibility
Are you able to remove personal bias and take radical responsibility for the insights you’re receiving? Are you willing to take action based on what you are attracting?
Symbols are merely road signs; they don’t make us do anything. They help us understand where we are and guide us toward where we’re trying to go. Fate places these symbols in our paths to capture our attention, but it’s our free will that allows us to choose how we will engage with them.
So tell me, friend—how are you living a symbolic life?
With warmth, Tere Marie
Organic Farmer, Wyllie Fox Farm Holistic Reproductive Health Educator & Cycle Alchemist, Cycle Alchemy She/Her
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
THE IMPORTANCE OF THE THIRD PLACE:
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
BY KELLY METRAS & KELLY BUSH
No, not the bronze metal. The 3rd place was coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg coined the 3rd place in his 1989 book “The Great Good Place” and refers to social spaces where people gather outside of their homes (the first place) and workplaces (the second place). These are the spaces that foster community, belonging, and social interaction.
Many of us that have businesses, especially in the hospitality industry, are trying to create or recreate these places and feelings that we have experienced throughout life. We understand the need for a place that is welcoming, safe, and honored by regulars.
Here are some of the ideals that we bring into cultivating a place where people feel heard, included, and
1. Building a community
Unlike homes, which are private and personal, and workplaces, which are often driven by productivity and formality, third places are informal and accessible. They offer a neutral ground where people from different backgrounds can come together, engage in conversations, and build relationships. This sense of community can strengthen social ties and create a support network that enhances overall well-being.
2. Interact in a social fashion
One of the most significant benefits of a third place is their role in promoting social interaction. These spaces—whether it’s a local bookstore, a park, or a neighborhood bar/restaurant—encourage spontaneous
conversations and connections. In our increasingly digital world, where virtual interactions often replace face-to-face ones, these physical spaces are vital for fostering genuine, human connections. Only rely on virtual when necessary!
3. Enhance well-being
Having a third place can positively impact mental health. They provide opportunities for relaxation, stress relief, and a break from daily routines. For many, these spaces are a refuge where they can unwind and engage in enjoyable activities, whether it’s sipping coffee, reading a book, or simply enjoying a walk in the park. The casual and often lively atmosphere of third places can help reduce feelings of isolation and contribute to overall emotional well-being.
4. Encourage inclusivity
Third places often serve as hubs of inclusivity. Unlike more structured environments, these spaces are usually open to everyone and provide opportunities for diverse groups to interact. They help bridge gaps between different socio-economic, cultural, and age groups.
5. Support local
Many third places are locally owned and operated businesses, such as coffee shops, bookstores, bars, and diners. Supporting these establishments not only helps sustain local economies but also keeps the character and charm of neighborhoods alive. These businesses often become community landmarks
where people gather, strengthening local economic ties and promoting a sense of pride and identity.
6. Encourage active participation
Engage with others, participate in activities, and contribute to the vibrant atmosphere of these spaces. Your active involvement helps strengthen the social bonds that third places are meant to foster.
The concept of the third place underscores the importance of having spaces that are more than just functional; they are social lifelines that nourish our sense of community and well-being. As we navigate our increasingly fast-paced and digital lives, recognizing and nurturing these spaces can enrich our personal lives and foster stronger, more connected communities.
After creating multiple places that honor this status, we created BOSSY as a third place that reaches the needs of a specific group of people.
The next time you visit your favorite cafe or local business, remember you’re not just enjoying a nice spot—you’re participating in something fundamental to human connection!
Be Bold. Be Brave. Be BOSSY.
Kelly & Kelly
Meet Zephyr, a little whirlwind of joy and energy! This pocket-sized dynamo is a small black mixed breed with charming upright pointy ears and a distinctive white spot on her chest. Despite her petite stature, Zephyr’s personality is anything but small. She’s bursting with a zest for life and an uncontainable enthusiasm that will light up your days.
Zephyr, much like the gentle breeze she’s named after, symbolizes the arrival of spring, bringing new beginnings and a fresh burst of energy. She’s incredibly outgoing and always ready to make new friends, whether they’re human or canine. Her happy-go-lucky attitude is contagious, spreading smiles wherever she goes. She came all the way from Georgia, bringing with her a heart full of love and a spirit eager to explore and play. Zephyr loves to zoom around the yard, chase after toys, and snuggle up for some cozy cuddle time. She’s the perfect mix of playful and affectionate, making her an ideal companion for anyone looking for a lively and loving addition to their family.
MET ZEPHYR
BY THE ACS TEAM
choice. Adopt Zephyr today and let her whirlwind of love and happiness sweep you away!
General Facts
• Came to us from Best Friends Dog
Cidery just after a month of being in our care. She is doing well in her new home where she is enjoying her new city - Syracuse. She has 4 feline siblings and loves each and every one of them!
Rescue in Cairo, GA on 7/2/24
• Dog social
• Estimated to be around 2 years old
If you’re ready for a burst of sunshine in your life, Zephyr is the perfect
Zephyr was adopted at the Second Chance Event hosted by New Leaf
I am not great at putting “stories” together but can definitely work on it if this is too much to digest and turn into a story. Let me know. Photos attached.
Emma Gesiriech
Animal Services Director
Animal Care Sanctuary 353 Sanctuary Hill Ln. PO Box A East Smithfield, PA 18817
Phone: 570-596-2200 ext. 406
E-mail: egesiriech@ animalcaresanctuary.org
URL: www. AnimalCareSanctuary.org
LOVING YOURSELF: THE FIRST STEP TO SUCCESS
BY LORI BRUTON
THE DARK BEFORE THE DAWN
There was a time when life seemed perfect on the surface – successful career, stable relationships, everything society told me should make me happy. Until my carefully buried past came bursting forth like a dam breaking, triggering a breakdown and profound loss – mostly of myself. I spiraled down a dangerous path, making increasingly destructive decisions that included attempting suicide and going through divorce. Shame, guilt, and selfhatred became my constant companions, leaving me feeling unworthy, unloved, and hopeless. I didn’t even believe that God loved me. That was a lie that nearly destroyed me. Thankfully, that Lori is gone, transformed through a journey of healing and self-discovery that I now share with others.
A Message of Hope
Breaking Free from the Past
Many of us carry traumas that become trapped in our cells, creating negative patterns that play out in every aspect of our lives – relationships, career decisions, and especially our relationship with ourselves. For me, these patterns emerged whenever I took action toward my goals but then became discouraged and
Embracing Resistance as Your Teacher
When we encounter resistance, it’s tempting to see it as a setback or a sign that we’re on the wrong path. But what if that resistance is actually a gift – a signpost pointing us toward our greatest growth opportunities? Repetitive patterns can feel like addictions, but once we recognize them, we can break free and chart a new course.
If you feel hopeless, brokenhearted, unloved, and unsure of your purpose and true identity, take my hand. There is hope, even in your darkest moments. My story is meant to encourage and inspire you to become who you were created to be. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, who doesn’t make mistakes. Your past doesn’t define your future, and your struggles don’t determine your worth. Every breakdown carries within it the seeds of a breakthrough, if only we have the courage to nurture them.
stopped, sabotaging my own progress. I discovered that my results wouldn’t change until I became aware of my triggers and learned how to handle them with compassion and wisdom.
The stories we believe about ourselves shape our reality – make sure yours propels you forward rather than holding you back. Each time you catch yourself in a negative thought pattern, remember you are writing your story with every choice you make. You have the power to pick up the pen and write a new chapter.
This journey has taught me to embrace opposition rather than run from it. Resistance holds answers and reveals the next steps. When you feel stuck, ask yourself:
• What is this challenge trying to teach me?
• What old pattern am I ready to release?
• What new strength am I developing through this struggle?
The Power of Faith, Hope, and Love
Life knocks us down sometimes. We can get discouraged, depressed, and lose hope. But as The Good Book says: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3). This isn’t just a comforting verse – it’s a promise that has transformed countless lives, including my own.
Remember: “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:6-8). These words remind us that true love – including self-love – is resilient, enduring, and transformative.
{ THE LORI FACTOR }
“What creative outlet lights you up? Whether it’s writing, singing, songwriting, dancing, or traveling – that spark of joy is your soul speaking to you.”
Are You Ready for Transformation?
Do you recognize yourself in any of these challenges?
• Struggling with emotional and mental challenges while seeking personal growth and meaning
• Experiencing self-doubt, fear, and confusion that paralyzes your decisionmaking
• Feeling trapped in cycles of negative thinking and self-sabotage
• Grieving losses, mourning missed opportunities, or feeling brokenhearted
• Standing on the verge of giving up on your dreams
• Sensing there’s more to life but feeling unable to reach it
Your Path to Breakthrough
As an Emotional Empowerment Breakthrough Coach, I provide more than just support – I offer a pathway to transformation. My approach includes:
1. A safe, sacred space to share your thoughts and emotions without judgment
2. Guidance to discover your true identity beneath layers of conditioning
3. Support to ignite faith, hope, and love in your daily life
4. Practical tools for emotional healing and personal growth
5. Proven strategies to achieve clarity and build lasting confidence
6. Techniques to transform negative patterns into stepping stones for growth
Embracing Your Creative Spirit
Learning to love myself, imperfections and all, was the most transformative journey I’ve ever undertaken. It taught me that self-love isn’t selfish – it’s essential for serving others effectively. Do you enjoy spending time with yourself? Since we can’t escape ourselves, it’s essential to feel good about who we are at our core.
What creative outlet lights you up? Whether it’s writing, singing, songwriting, dancing, or traveling – that spark of joy is your soul speaking to you. Don’t ignore it. Your business endeavors become more profitable and enjoyable when you embrace your creativity because authenticity attracts abundance. For me, travel writing became both a creative outlet and a profitable venture, proving that passion and profession can beautifully align.
Your Journey Begins Now
Through our work together, you will:
• Develop new beliefs, behaviors, and strategies that serve your highest good
• Gain unshakable confidence, crystal clarity, and renewed passion for life
• Discover a new vision and love that transforms every aspect of your existence
• Wake up excited every day, supported by an unshakable foundation of faith
• Create meaningful connections with yourself, others, and your purpose
• Transform past wounds into wisdom that serves your future
Remember: No matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done, it’s okay. Today is a new day, and new beginnings are always possible.
Ready to Begin?
Let’s start this transformative journey together. Your breakthrough awaits, and you don’t have to walk this path alone. Contact me at hello@loribruton. com to set up an introductory session where we’ll explore your unique path to transformation.
Note: While I offer emotional support and guidance, I am not a substitute for professional mental health services. There is only one Savior - His name is Jesus. My role is to guide you toward your own inner wisdom and His unfailing love.
Th e Ca r o l i n a Co m
p a n y
Co m b i n in g p ro s k i l l s wi t h g o o d v i b e s t o c r e a t e a c u s t o m b r i d al e x p e r i e n c e b ro ug h t s t ra i g h t t o y o u
P ro fe s s i o n a l c o s m e t o l o g i s t a n d b ri da l s pe c i a l i st , B ro ok e We r n e r ,
h a s b e e n p rov i d i n g b r i da l p ar t i e s wi t h b e a u t i f u l s t y l e s s i n c e 2018
Th ro u g h e x t e n s i v e a n d t h o ro u g h t ra i n i n g ov e r t h e p a s t 6 y e a r s ,
Bro ok e p rov i d e s a wi d e r an g e o f s t y l e s f ro m c l a s s i c u pd o s
t o m o d e r n t wi st s t o b o h o wa v e s
Al t h o u g h s h e fo c u s e s o n p e r fe c t i o n , Broo ke v i e ws c o n n e c t i o n s
a s h e r n u m b e r o n e p r i o ri t y “ Br i d e s o f t e n t e l l m e i t fe e l s l i ke we ’ v e
b e e n f r i e n d s fo r y e a r s , a n d I r e al l y va lu e t h a t b e ca u s e I wa n t t o
m a ke e v e r y b r i d e f e e l c o m fo r t a b l e an d k n ow t h e y a r e in g o o d
h a n d s o n t h e ir we d d i n g da y ”
At Th e Ca ro l i n a Co m p an y , t h e i r m i s s i o n e x t e n d s b e y o n d ju s t
p rov i d i n g fl awl e s s b r i da l h a i r We ’ re c o m m i t t e d t o m a k i n g e a c h
c l i e n t fe e l u n d e r s t o o d , va l u e d a n d c e l e br at e d wh e t h e r y o u ’ re t h e
b r i d e o r t h e m o t h e r o f t h e g r o o m Yo u r we d d i n g d a y i s o n e
o f t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t a n d m e m o r a bl e d a y s o f y o u r li fe ,
wh i c h i s wh y we (l it e ra l l y ) g o t h e e x t r a m i l e t o o ff e r a
c u s t o m e x p e r i e n c e Fro m o u r fi r s t c o n v e rs a t i o n , t o t h e fi n al
t o u c h e s o n y o u r b i g da y , we e n s u re t h at y o u f e e l c o n fi d e n t
a n d b e a u t i f u l wh i l e h a v i n g a s t y li s t t h a t g e n u in e l y c a re s
a b o u t y o u r v i s i o n
I t s m o re t h a n b e a u t y – it s a b o u t cre a t in g m e m o r ie s f o r a lif e t i m e
Bro ok e Ca ro li n a We rn e r
Own e r | Th e Ca ro li n a Co m p a n y
P h o n e : (585)500-5855
We b s i t e : www t h e c aro l in a c o c o m
GO PUT SOME SHOES ON { KARMA SPEAKS }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
“Go put some shoes on.” Has always been a statement that I heard more often than not growing up, out where the apple orchards and corn fields took up more space than a village. I still hear it within my own minds confines as I manage to tread through the days remaining mostly void of shoes. Until of course the time comes where mother nature exposes her nasty side and dictates to me and my feet, to put some shoes on or else jack frost will gladly take them from me.
As a little country girl, with a father figure who would spend countless hours after his job as a Union 33 steel worker in the city of Rochester, I was intrigued by the many numerous jobs he took on inside of this monster of a shop that he had constructed. Any tool, any part anyone needed, you knew would be inside that shop. Always an engine to pull, a frame to weld, or a friend who rolled in and grabbed a cold one out of the shop fridge to discuss the model of the month hanging on the worn rusty metal second hand cabinet, and then what they needed fixed. And of course some old jalopy would be in that shop by the next week. As always, there’s the slight glance over at the little girl, sitting quietly just out of the way, and hears “Go put some shoes on.” And the conversation would resume on parts, pieces and how to fix the newest shop project.
I’d shuffle off sometimes returning with sandals or sneakers. But never without the lecture of what I cannot do while in bare feet. And walking in
BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD
the shop was pretty high on that list, as well as working with tools, doing the farm chores, or riding my bike. Metal splinters being of top concern. Still a memory as sharp as the freshly singed needle, from that shiny zippo lighter that my dad would be holding as he came into the living room. Let me see your foot, he would say, with a half assed grin. So, with his calloused tanned work worn hands, he would put my waterlogged dawn dish soap foot up onto the coffee table, as I pleaded “don’t hurt me.” All the while he was reminding me I should have put my shoes on.
I was grounding myself with nature, before it became a thing. To me wearing shoes was awkward and uncomfortable. My dirty feet were no strangers to scraped toes on the gravel road as I pedaled my way to meet my best comrades as we ruled the old country roads, abandoned houses, and dilapidated barns. The scars upon the soles of my feet tell tales of children wading in the apple orchards run off puddles with broken glass, and stepping on old rusty nails sticking up out of rotten floor boards of buildings we shouldn’t have been in. Adventures in the country seemed to last forever back then. Only heading home when our stomachs told us to. My mother always said it’s a good thing you got that tetanus shot. And, maybe now you’ll wear shoes.
I was told to wear shoes so much that it’s ingrained in my head so when I am working on a project that entails a tear out, exposed nails and power
tools, I hear the words as clear as day. “Go put some shoes on.” And I smile to myself with a half assed grin, because we both know I’m not. My feet are calloused and rough most times. And in the most recent years I’ve been educated on the benefits of bare feet.
When grounding, we are actually absorbing the Earth’s electrons which has been proven to have numerous health benefits. Reducing pain and inflammation, improving blood flow and reducing brain age to name a few. It also helps us to connect and get back to the natural biological rhythm. Although I knew none of this as the little girl who always donned a bandaid on one body part or another.
Nowadays I’m reminded that the more things change, the more they remain the same. I’m still a country girl who would rather stroll around taking my chances stepping on a bee, a stone or a nail as I curse words to the universe. I still impulsively grab tools and begin a new project in an old home, and now hear my husband utter, shouldn’t you have shoes on, or what would your dad say? I don’t need to be reminded, as I already see the smirk, and hear the voice.
“Go put some shoes on.”
DRIVABLE HEALTH AND WELLNESS GETAWAYS
BY KAITLYN VITTOZZI
“Book a hotel or AirBNB and treat yourself to a three-day urban yoga experience.”
Do you ever feel like you get away but then need a vacation from your vacation? Try one of these trips that will leave your body and mind feeling more replenished than exhausted. I love a trip to Europe or the Caribbean, but sometimes when you’re feeling physically worn down – the last thing you want to do is hop on a plane. So here’s a list of some of my favorite healthy getaways that are drivable rom Rochester. These welcome all genders but could easily be turned into a girls’ trip. Solo travelers will be totally comfortable in any of these. When I head out solo I usually just pre-download a favorite audiobook for the drive.
1. Inns of Aurora – Drive just 70 minutes from Rochester and take some deep breaths when you catch the view of Cayuga Lake. The Inns of Aurora is a sweet little village of its own. The main inn sits atop the 1833 Kitchen & Bar, the other inns available to stay in are setup like BMBs and a short walking distance to the main inn. All accommodations are exquisitely decorated in either historic or MacKenzie-Childs décor and feature lake views and premium teas. There is a market to purchase snacks, coffee and gifts and a bar and grill for lunch and dinner. Take daily classes in the gorgeous yoga studio or hop on a Peloton at the gym.
The crown jewel at Inns of Aurora is the Spa. Inn guests can book experiences months out while non-hotel spa only guests can book services 30 days in advance. Seated atop a hill you enter the spa and trade your cell phone in for a posh robe. The café provides unlimited nutritious foods – soups, salads, salmon, cookies just to name a few - the only thing you need to buy would be wine or
specialty coffees. Enjoy warm pools and cold plunge both indoors and outdoors. This location is ready for you in any season. My favorite spa treatment is the Abhyanga – a traditional Ayurvedic oil massage designed just for your dosha (imbalance). Cap it off with a sauna and steam room session after and some time in a lounge chair in your robe.
2. The Yoga Show Toronto – Book a hotel or AirBNB and treat yourself to a three-day urban yoga experience. At no charge you can check out the yoga expo which has great shopping for yoga accessories and props you didn’t know you needed. Grab great deals on yoga athleisure built not just for style but the practicality yoga practitioners need. You’ll get to sample sustainable snacks and body products. Every hour there are free yoga and movement classes in the yoga garden (think self-massage, meditation, asana and more). I would recommend bringing your own mat, but you can buy one there if you forget!
Enjoy the on-site multicultural foods in the food court or go explore everything Toronto has to offer like the St. Lawrence Market. If you really want to deepen your practice or just experience something more intimate than the busy show floor, you can pre-register for more intensive sessions for a small fee. I have been twice and never regretted anything I have studied here. The international teachers leading are top notch. Stay tuned for 2025 dates to be announced. Pro tip: this should only be about a 3.25-hour drive but watch the sports schedules. I tried to get to my hotel the same time the Blue Jays were in town, and it tacked a ton of time on. It was a good practice in staying relaxed during the drive!
3. Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health – In just under four hours you can be at one of the top yoga retreat centers in the world. Take the Thruway to the Berkshires, just over the Massachusetts border. Choose an R&R weekend where you can take three daily yoga classes and enjoy three delicious made from scratch meals – definitely don’t skip the welcome bread. Breakfast is in silence which is the perfect way to start the day. Every week Kripalu attracts world class talent and offers programming in self-care, yoga, ayurveda mindfulness and outdoor excursions (tree-hugging anyone?). You still get to enjoy the R&R amenities on top of the courses you take. Depending on your profession you be able to receive CECs for going, so healthcare workers and teachers should check those out! Enjoy the sauna at no charge or book yourself a holistic facial or massage. There’s really no need to leave Kripalu’s grounds but if you are itching to explore Lenox and Great Barrington are very walkable.
4. Club Med Charlevoix – The views from anywhere you are at this resort, indoor or out are stunning. About 1.5 hours from Quebec City, this allinclusive resort at Le Massif offers Skiing in the winter and turns those trails into hiking and mountain biking excursions during the warm weather months. Your stay includes lift passes you’ll receive at check-in to take the chair lift or gondola to your preferred trail – or just use it to take a ride and enjoy the St. Lawrence Seaway.
This family friendly getaway offers kids clubs that little ones enjoy, so you can enjoy the mountain during the day stress free. There is a full exercise class
“Do you ever feel like you get away but then need a vacation from your vacation?”
sschedule with classes basically on the hour morning to early that evening including yoga, Pilates, aqua aerobics and strength training – there are options for all levels. Similarly, at 9:30 and 1:30 during the warmer months you can have a guide take you on a hike at a beginner, intermediate or advanced level. My favorite hike was the beginner level gourmet hike where you get to learn about native plants and enjoy samples of teas and snacks like maple cream in the woods.
The steam room, outdoor hot tub and
swimming pool are open to guests at no additional charge but in my opinion, the best place for a mid-day nap is at the spa. If you don’t want a treatment (though the massage was wonderful) get a half day spa pass and enjoy a dry sauna as well. You have two options for the restaurants – the buffet and the chalet bar. The buffet includes plenty delicious options – this is not your average buffet food. Thai noodles, fresh breadsticks, tuna ceviche, bouillabaisse are just a few that come to mind from my stay. If you are staying for more
than a few days, mix it up and pay just $45 Canadien for a served four course fondue dinner at Le Chalet (if Fondue isn’t your thing, they do have local tasting boards each day to munch on at no upcharge). Depending on how traffic is in Montreal and Quebec City this could take anywhere from 8.5 to 10 hours from Rochester but is worth it.
What are your favorite getaways that I missed? Reach out at PenfieldYogaTherapy. Com and let me know!
STRESS MANAGEMENT
Undoubtedly, stress is a part of our everyday lives. There are so very many daily demands that compete for our attention. We typically juggle many different types of responsibilities, both at work and at home. On a regular basis, there are bills to pay, laundry to wash, groceries to buy, and gas tanks to fill. At work, we face important deadlines for projects, phone calls to return, and decisions to make. We may face the unique challenges of finding ourselves as members of the sandwich generation: we find ourselves torn between caring for our own children, as well as addressing the demands of aging parents.
How we choose to cope with this diverse range of stressors makes a critical difference for our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Excessive stress levels are downright dangerous if they are sustained for prolonged periods of time. Our minds and bodies are well-equipped to deal with acute stressors that occur. They are much less prepared to deal with the negative consequences of high levels of ongoing stress. Sustained stress levels cause our bodies to oversecrete cortisol, a hormone that allows our body to respond effectively to an immediate stressor. In turn, excessive cortisol levels are associated with a diminished immune system response.
Whereas we may have minimal control over external stressors, we do retain control of how we choose to respond to such stressors. Placing our specific stressors into perspective makes a huge difference. Very often, the things that we find ourselves feeling very stressed out about won’t necessarily matter in the long run. As one popular book states, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.”
Women frequently have the tendency to place their own well-being at the bottom of their extensive to-do lists. We
BY BONNIE FLOYD
typically serve as the primary caregivers for our children, whether we are also employed outside the home. Attempting to competently manage such diverse roles is very demanding. After all, we all possess finite resources. None of us has an unlimited amount of physical energy, time, or financial resources.
Very often, women neglect adequate self-care when juggling their home and work responsibilities. However, you can’t pour from an empty vessel. It’s essential to take the best possible care of ourselves, so that we’re able to competently fulfill the multiple roles that we face as women.
Women sometimes struggle with feeling guilty for taking adequate care of themselves. They may erroneously conclude that doing so is selfish. Practicing good self-care is essential, as opposed to optional. If we have children, engaging in good self-care is also a very important form of role modeling, both for our daughters and sons.
An essential component of adequate selfcare is stress management. To prevent the development of more serious consequences, each of us needs to learn how to better manage our overall stress level. How we specifically manage our stress levels is different for each woman. What works for your friend, neighbor, or co-worker may not necessarily be effective for you. Some women relax by choosing to exercise, engaging in meditation, or practicing guided imagery.
There are several different strategies for achieving more effective stress management. One of the most important rests upon being fully honest with ourselves about just how much we can achieve in any given day. When we take on more than we can comfortable manage, our stress levels invariably rise. It’s not possible to simultaneously be the perfect partner,
mother, caregiver, employee, neighbor, volunteer, and friend.
Another effective method for improved stress management involves learning to feel comfortable with asking for help, whenever necessary. Our society remains heavily oriented towards the importance of individualism, as opposed to connectivity with others. Consequently, many of us struggle with asking someone else for help with completion of a task. We may view doing so as a reflection of some degree of inadequacy on our parts. However, we are all interdependent upon one another to some degree. Enlisting others’ help may serve to powerfully lessen our overall stress level.
Those women with perfectionistic tendencies are particularly susceptible to experiencing the negative consequences of high stress levels. This is true whether they find themselves facing demands at home, or at work. Perfectionism depletes our finite resources, since attempting to complete a task perfectly exhausts both our minds and our bodies; in turn, this creates an even high stress level. Consequently, women with such tendencies find themselves in a downward spiral.
A final method of effective stress management concerns our ability to say no to excessive external demands. We may fear disappointing others by turning down their request for assistance. Nevertheless, effective stress management demands that we fully appreciate the delicate balance between our demands, and our capabilities of meeting those demands. After all, just how effective can we possibly be if we find ourselves over-extended?
