Rochester Woman Online's Aug/Sept 2023 Edition

In This Edition...

*SPECIAL FEATURE : INTERVIEW WITH DIRECTOR PETE JACELONE

*INFLUENTIAL WOMANLA’TRECE BARTLEY

*QUEEN OF ARTS: PITTSFORD UPSTAIRS GALLERY

*WOMEN TO WATCH: CHRISTINA LACAGNINA KRISTINE DEMO-VAZQUEZ

Claudia Hoyser

FOLLOWING HER HEART ALL THE WAY TO BECOMING A COUNTRY MUSIC SENSATION

18

COVER STORY

Claudia Hoyser

38

THE INFLUENTIAL MAN

Pete Jacelone

52

WOMAN TO WATCH

Christina Lacognina

Kristine Demo-Vazquez

88

THE INFLUENITAL WOMAN

La’Trece Bartley

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As we step into the August-September 2023 edition of Rochester Woman Online magazine, I am thrilled to introduce you to our latest cover woman, the extraordinary local country singing sensation, Claudia Hoyser. Her powerful voice and captivating story are sure to inspire and entertain you, offering a glimpse into the world of this remarkable young rtist.

But, Claudia Hoyser is just one shining star in the galaxy of incredible women we have the privilege of featuring in this edition. Throughout the pages of this issue, you’ll encounter inspiring stories, empowering journeys, and insightful perspectives from women who are making a significant impact in various fields. From business leaders to community activists, their stories resonate with determination, resilience, and a commitment to positive change.

Our mission has always been to celebrate and amplify the voices of women who are shaping our community and beyond. We are dedicated to providing a platform for these incredible individuals to share their experiences, wisdom, and visions for a better future. We hope you find their stories as enlightening and motivating as we do.

In addition to our inspiring content, we want to extend our gratitude to our advertisers. Their support allows us to continue bringing you these stories and showcasing the talent and businesses within our local community. As we navigate the challenges of our times, let’s remember the importance of supporting local businesses. By doing so, we can collectively contribute to the strength and vibrancy of our community.

So, take a moment to dive into this edition. Together, we can continue to celebrate and empower the incredible women who make our community thrive.

Thank you for being a part of the Rochester Woman Online community. We look forward to sharing this exciting journey with you.

With warmth and appreciation, Kelly Breuer

ON OUR COVER

We have a local girl, living out her dream of being a country music superstar and entrepreneur, Claudia Hoyser taken by Simon Mazik.

PUBLISHER

FREELANCE EDITORS

CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN

LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER

PHOTOGRAPHY

Kelly Breuer

Marisa Zeppieri

Kelly Breuer

Simon Mazik

Robyn Baty

Julie Oldfield

Sarah Hedden Photography

Porcia Jones

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS \\

ADVERTISING SALES

SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR

WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT

Lisa Ireland

Nicole Doyley

Linda Peters

La’Trece Bartley

Kristine Demo Vazquez

Erin Hyzen

Lisa Wagner

Beth Parry

Dr Tunya Griffin

Tammy Vreeland

Kaitlyn Vittozzi

Lori Bruton

Karen Putz

Bonnie Floyd

Sandy Arena

Tom Turner

Valerie Dimino

Terry Daniele

Stephanie Skinner

Kaitlyn Vitozzi

Heidi Meckley

Kelly Breuer

Network Rochester

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Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the Greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www.rochesterwomanonline.com

The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2022 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

CLAUDIA HOYSER

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

You may recognize the name Claudia Hoyser as an American country music singer, songwriter and social influencer. Now, Rochester Woman Online is excited to have her as our latest cover woman.

As a local girl with dreams of being on the country music stage, she can now be seen opening for country music superstars such as Miranda Lambert, Blake Shelton, Brantley Gilbert, Ryan Bingham, Whiskey Myers and Mitchell Tenpenny. 2022 brought on shows with Willie Nelson, Zach Bryan, Brad Paisley, Chris Young, Justin Moore, LOCASH, Jessie James Decker, Chase Rice and more!

In our interview with Claudia, we got to talk about her plans for the future, her incredible coffee and whiskey brands (which are pretty amazing), and so much more we hope you will enjoy. Did I mention she is not only incredible talented with an amazing voice, but she is as sweet as they come.

Can you share some insights about your background and growing up in Fairport, New York?

I loved growing up in Fairport and had a ton of support from the family-like community when I started getting into music. My sister and I had been “performing” in the living room since we were very young but it was probably

around 9th grade when I actually started playing a few favorite songs out at the local coffee shops and grew into playing a lot of the bars and restaurants in town.

What sparked your interest in singing, and how did you get started in the music industry?

I had been writing songs since I was a little girl (even though they didn’t make

introduced to my now manager and producer by a fellow Fairport grad. Next thing I knew, I was interning at GFI Studios with Tony Gross, in Ontario, NY over the summers and getting serious about my sound and style. It wasn’t long before we had a few song placements in a Netflix film and a single on the radio.

What drew you to country music specifically? Is there a personal connection?

It’s funny because as a kid, my grandparents would “haunt us” with country music! My Poppy used to always have the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band blasting on the TV music channel when we would visit. I called it “twangy banjo music” and would joke that it was “so terrible!” That obviously left a lasting impression, because I grew to love it. I started out more of a singer-songwriter style but it was when country radio stations started playing my first single that really encouraged me to go country.

much sense back then). I remember skipping sleepovers with friends just to practice the guitar and record YouTube videos in my garage. I started taking some voice lessons in high school and knew music would always have a special place in my life, I just didn’t think it would become my whole life! I was a junior at Kent State when I was

Who are some of the artists or figures that have influenced your musical style and career?

Mirand Lambert, Chris Stapleton, Little Big Town, Kacey Musgraves, Taylor Swift, Dolly Parton.

Out of all the artists you’ve worked with, who stands out as your absolute favorite and why?

PHOTOS BY SIMON MAZIK, ROGER JOHNSTON & MORE.

“

Overall, I have been super FORTUNATE. There’s always ups and downs that I am forever LEARNING how to flow through. Some of the best things are also the HARDEST! ”

I’ve had a chance to meet and open for now. I never would have believed it five years ago.In my Facebook series “Fired Up Live” I had a chance to interview a bunch of incredible people. I absolutely loved chatting with Deana Carter because even though she has been doing this for such a long time, she still seems just as passionate and in love with her career as ever. She seemed to beam about the fact that this is what she gets to do and I loved hearing about how she got her start. She’s just a go-getter and a really hard worker and finds true enjoyment throughout all of the ups and downs and I admire that. I also think Little Big Town should write us all a book on how it’s done! They are a larger than life party on stage with lyrics that can pop a cork or rip your heart out! They are pure class and an all around joy to be around and look up to.

Could you give us some details about your coffee and whiskey brand, and how that idea came about

The coffee and whiskey brand has been one of the coolest parts. I am a huge coffee lover so it’s the best feeling to share my own blend with all our coffee loving listeners! It all happened pretty naturally and a lot of it was fan driven! We started hiding a vintage espresso moka pot in all of our “Hoyser Country Monday” Facebook videos.

After a few Facebook posts, people from around the world were tuning in every Monday to see our latest classic country cover song and hunt for the coffee pot! We had over 120 million views on the series! These videos lead to our very own coffee thanks to our

find it at all of the Tops Markets, Hoysercountry.com, Amazon and even in chain stores in Idaho. About a year after the coffee came out in 2019, we heard from a distillery in Idaho who wanted to help us turn our coffee into something… After another round of countless test batches and design ideas, came Hoyser Country Drunken Bean coffee whiskey! It’s sweet and silky and has hints of Madagascar vanilla bean. We’re proud of the fact that the coffee is actually brewed and barreled with the whiskey since this is a pretty unique process for flavoring whiskey. Drunken Bean is now in over 400 locations in New York and Idaho, with more states coming soon.

Do you have a favorite place where you’ve performed? What makes it special to you?

friend Bucky Montrois, who has been in the coffee business for a long time and approached us about the idea. After tons of taste testing, we launched our delicious Hoyser Country Blend coffee and people started ordering in over 15 countries! You can also

One of my favorite things about performing is getting to travel and experience new places. Feeling at home in an unfamiliar place thanks to warm-welcoming new friends is always really special for me. We just had the best trip with the band in Salinas, California opening for Little Big Town. Everything about it, from the views to the hospitality, was amazing. Little Big Town has always been one of my favorite bands, so getting a chance to hang with them all day is something I’ll never forget.

“This might come as a shock to some but there is nothing like my little alone time. I think my followers always see me so out and about and on the go, ”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Share something surprising or lesserknown about yourself that your fans might not be aware of. This might come as a shock to some but there is nothing like my little alone time! I think my followers always see me so out and about and on the go! But sometimes I crave getting a chance to put on a record, go for a walk, read some trendy young adult love story, paint some nature scenes on a canvas and hang out with my Holland Lop Henry. These things work like a reset button for me when I get a little too busy for my own good.

At what point did you realize that singing was transitioning from a hobby to a full-fledged career?

I think when I decided to really jump in and saw how quickly things started snowballing. Following my heart, I had turned down an interview for a potential marketing position in NYC and moved back home to hit the studio as much as possible after I graduated from Kent State. From that point on, it just seemed like once a week something crazy was happening. Placements in Netflix films and commercials, singles on multiple country stations across the US, traveling all over to be on-air with country radio and perform in new towns, hosting my own series online

with millions of views, opening for my favorite artists... It took time and a ton of work but with all of the milestone moments, It just became easier to say “Yes, this is definitely my career.”

What plans do you have for the near future in terms of your music or other ventures?

lots of coffee and whiskey mixed in sounds like the dream to me!

thought I would be opening for people like Blake Shelton, Brantly Gilbert or Ryan Bingham. I just hope to keep it going! Touring with my amazing band, writing and releasing new music and

Who are your top three favorite artists of all time, and what about their work resonates with you? This is tricky because I pick up little bits of things I want to rub off on me from so many artists. Miranda Lambert will alway be a lifelong favorite. She’s both fiery and graceful in her music and I feel every word she sings. Her storytelling really shines. I can only hope some fans will feel that way about my songs. Chris Stapleton is another one for me. I love how what you hear on his albums is exactly what you get from him on stage. There’s such an art form in capturing all that beautiful, rugged, soulful sound in the studio and being able to deliver it with equal oomph on stage, never missing a lick! Lastly, I know I’ve mentioned them a bunch here but Little Big Town. There’s so much to admire about their family-oriented work life personalities and I could try to weave myself into those harmonies for an eternity. Recording unique harmonies in the studio is one of my favorite parts about working on a new song, so their four part harmonies always really wow me.

With various social media platforms available, which one is your favorite for connecting with fans?

“After another round of countless test batches and design ideas, came Hoyser Country Drunken Bean coffee whiskey!”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

I love using Instagram and TikTok most but Facebook has been the biggest winner for me! Everyone gets to be a little more personal and it gives me a great outlet to really connect with people.

How do you balance your roles as a singer, songwriter, and social influencer?

The balance is something I am always working on! It’s hard to not let one aspect outweigh the others, while also trying to soak up my 20s. I try my best to give each my all, which is usually pretty easy to do since I thoroughly enjoy what I do. I am very lucky to call this my “job.”

Can you describe the creative process behind one of your favorite songs you’ve written?

The title track of my debut album Red Light’s Turning Green stands out for me. This song has been through so many different waves of creation which is both a blessing and a curse! I was so thankful to have the time and the amazing team to help me keep recreating, but it was so frustrating trying to get it right. It seems like I learned so much about myself and my voice in the process though. We probably re-recorded this song seven times over the course of four and a half years. I started writing it in college and brought what I thought were finished lyrics to my co-writer over summer vacation. We got into the studio and worked on a whole new chorus and put down some very rough instrumentation. I knew even then, before years of finding the right

sound and polishing, we had something special.

What’s a significant challenge you’ve faced in your career, and how did you overcome it?

Overall, I have been super fortunate. There’s always ups and downs that I am forever learning how to flow through. Some of the best things are also the hardest! For example, living the dream of getting to travel around the country and perform original songs in front of thousands of people - sometimes you miss out on big life events with your friends and family which is really tough. Now that I am really in the swing of it, I have definitely started to prioritize what matters most to me and I feel really good about diving into the future.

How do you find inspiration when you’re facing a creative block or feeling uninspired?

I try my best not to force anything! The best songs for me are the ones that just pop in from out of nowhere! I usually just give it a rest and do something completely unrelated to find some subconscious inspiration or listen to other music in totally different genres!

Share a memorable fan interaction that touched you or made an impact on your career.

There’s been so many! If there’s one thing that is so cool about my fans, it’s that they are willing to do anything to help take us to the next level. Before I ever had any music released, we sent an unmastered demo to our friend Stone Hill at Big Dog Country to

see what he thought of the song. He loved it and thought even the rough mix would work well on his station. Stone aired the song a few times and called us back excitedly to tell us that he had a few listeners call in asking about the song and loving it. After such a great test, he decided to add it to his regular playlist on Big Dog which led to a chain reaction of other stations adding the new single. One of those listeners who called in was Brenda Patterson out of Newark, NY. She and her friends have been following us ever since and I will be forever grateful she decided to speak up that day.

What’s the most rewarding aspect of being a performer and connecting with your audience?

Seeing how your music affects people and brings them together is the most heart-warming feeling. My loyal followers at home here around Rochester, New York and the Finger Lakes continue to amaze me. They rarely miss a show even though they’ve heard my songs a few hundred times! Watching them all form friendships throughout the years at my concerts and then seeing their faces in much larger audiences in different states has been very rewarding.

Are there any genres outside of country that you’d like to experiment with in your music?

I love all kinds of music. I could see myself experimenting with some pop or some real indie or Americana music. Sometimes I write things that would never work well for the country genre,

“Seeing how your music affects people and brings them together is the most heartwarming feeling!”

I always pocket those ideas anyway. You never know! But Country music has my heart.

What advice would you give to aspiring singers and songwriters looking to make it in the industry?

I’ve always been about the lyrics. A great song can take you to so many places. So I would say keep writing and figure out what matters most to you in life and in your sound and hang onto that.. And go for it. We only have a little time to do what we love the most. I am a big believer in doing what makes you happy. Also keep working really hard and a little

luck might meet you halfway!

Could you describe the feeling of performing on stage and connecting with your fans through music?

Performing has become one of the most natural feelings for me! When I am looking out at an audience of listeners, big or small, it’s like this energy takes over and creates this meaningful connection. I could never do this without the listeners. It’s their care and interest that makes it come so second nature for me.

What’s the story behind the title of one of your albums or songs that

holds personal significance?

Willin’! The last song on the record. If you want to follow your dreams, you have to be willing to try. The last line in the chorus says “you can’t start livin’ unless you are willin.” I remind myself of this every time I feel like I am stuck or scared to make a step or change. Sometimes you just need to get in your car and drive to your favorite spot (in my case, The Thousand Islands), take a deep breath and just leave behind whatever has been stopping you from moving forward.

“When I am looking out at an audience of listeners, big or small, it’s like this energy takes over and creates this meaningful connection.”

“It’s so crazy to look at the list of artists I’ve had a chance to meet and open for now. I never would have believed it five years ago!”

How do you use your platform as a social influencer to address important issues or causes?

I try to spread awareness of the positive and of course, if there’s ever a pressing situation in need. It can be a huge plus to have so many people within reach on the other end of that platform but I am also very careful about what I share and post, always trying to be aware of how it may affect others.

Tell us about a moment in your career when you felt particularly proud of your achievements.

Being on stage with my band, opening for Miranda Lambert was a true jaw-dropper for me. She has always been my favorite and performing that night hit home. I just felt like “wow, I’m really doing this.”

What role does your family and hometown play in your music and overall journey?

They definitely play a huge part. My dad and uncle are very musical so it’s safe to say it runs in the family. My family is behind me every step of the way and I am very lucky to have such inspiring and supportive friends. My band members are also all from the

area and I thank my lucky stars for them and an amazing community that looks for any opportunity to help lift us up.

Check out her website at www. claudiahoyser.com

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“I started out more of a singer-songwriter style but it was when country radio stations started playing my first single that really encouraged me to go country.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Today I have the pleasure of being with Pete Jacelone. Pete has been a long time Indie filmmaker who happens to have some exciting news for us!

With the whole impending doom and gloom of back to school looming over our heads, what better way to share with you Pete’s new adventure!

Tammy: Pete, thank you so much for agreeing to do this interview for us! As I mentioned, that time of year is coming up with kids going back to school. However, your new kid related venture has actually been in production before now.

Please tell us about your new venture and when it started.

Pete: Tammy, my new project is THE TEEN HORROR SHOW – An anthology horror variety show hosted by teenage actors in the tradition of famous horror TV hosts, Vampira, Zacherle, Svengoolie and others.

I decided to produce this because of my own interest in horror when I was a kid. I grew up in New Jersey. There was a local theater that showcased “kid friendly” Saturday afternoon matinees. They screened mainly Sci-Fi and Horror films of the late 50s. The theater was always packed with kids. Many of the movies featured teens or pre-teens as main characters, which made them more relatable to a young audience. INVADERS FROM MARS, INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, and THE BLOB come to mind. This was the early 60’s which was around the same time I started seeing the ZACHERLE show on television

along with CHILLER THEATRE.

Zacherle (aka “the Cool Ghoul”) was one of the first, and definitely one of the coolest, horror TV hosts. He and Vampira inspired many others, including Elvira, Dr. Creep, Coffin Joe and Svengoolie.

These hosts typically dress as horror characters and perform funny skits while introducing classic horror and Sci-Fi films. The hosts often make fun of the movies by inserting images of them within the movie they are showcasing.

Tammy: It’s funny because I’m from Indiana and we had a similar host called Sammy Terry! He did little spoofs with his pet spider George before he would introduce the next scary movie. He was a local legend and everyone loved him, kids and parents alike!

Pete: Being exposed to horror at a young age, combined with an inherent interest in the strange and supernatural; it was just natural that as a filmmaker I would gravitate toward making horror films. Plus, I think because of my own interest in horror as a kid, when I started making movies, there was always one or more kids involved as major characters.

My first film, PSYCHO SISTERS (1998), features three pre-teen girls who witness the murder/suicide of their parents, thus predisposing their insanity. My recent film, SON OF GACY, involves a 10-year-old boy who discovers he is the long-lost son of the infamous serial killer John Wayne Gacy. However, just because a film has young

characters in the story, it doesn’t necessarily mean it should be viewed in its entirety by young adults. The truth is most of my horror films are suited for a more mature audience.

Tammy: You are absolutely right! Even though certain story lines may take us to a younger version of a killer, it doesn’t mean it is made for younger people. However, I have seen your TEEN HORROR SHOW, and it’s far from your other films.

Pete: I decided to try turning things around a bit by producing some truly “family friendly” horror shorts featuring young actors (age 8 to 17). By “family friendly” I mean horror films that involve kids as main characters that can be viewed by kids, yet also relatable to adults.

Of course, I acknowledge that “family friendly” and “kid friendly” are relative terms. So there’s a bit of gray area involved. Therefore, my challenge is to make a film that’s scary and emotionally charged enough to be appealing (and shocking) to adult horror fans as well as their kids, yet does not cross the line.

Producing these films turned out to be a lot of fun. One of the first films we shot is called I THINK MY GIRLFRIEND IS A VAMPIRE. It’s about a teen boy who discovers his girlfriend is not who she seems. THE SECRET POOL involves a group of kids who discover a secluded swimming pool deep in the woods that happens to be the home of a kid-eating monster. FERAL CRAVING is an untraditional “coming of age” story about a werewolf boy and an unlikely

“Being exposed to horror at a young age, combined with an inherent interest in the strange and supernatural; it was just natural that as a filmmaker I would gravitate toward making horror films.”

BY TAMMY VREELAND

So, having produced a few of these horror shorts, the remaining challenge was to get them out there for kids and adults to see. A few of the shorts screened at film festivals and picked up some awards, but as with any short film, distribution options are limited. That’s when I decided to produce THE TEEN HORROR SHOW.

THE TEEN HORROR SHOW would be modeled after classic TV horror shows. It is hosted by teenagers, talking horror, goofing off, and acting out horror-themed skits while they introduce horror films. For hosts, I used some of the young actors featured in previous productions. The first two episodes feature two thirteenyear-olds playing a 3000-year-old vampire and mad doctor. (Count Alex and Dr. Stein). The episodes appear to be shot in their parent’s basement and have a purposely home-made feel with their mother occasionally interrupting their performances by yelling at them from upstairs.

Although scripted, the teenage actors were encouraged to improvise their dialogue and skits. This effectively resulted in some genuinely funny horror trivia gaffs and other unexpected unscripted teenage shenanigans. The first episode is about “Werewolves and Vampires” and the second one is about “Movie Monsters”. Future episodes will cover “Mad Doctors”, “Ghosts” and “Aliens”. Each episode will feature one or two independently produced short films relating to the topic.

The first two episodes have been released on DVD and are available at horror

conventions and through online mailorder. Neither has been pitched yet for television distribution.

Tammy: I’m sure it won’t take long to be snatched up for distribution! I believe you have something here that is a real need for some parents who like the horror genre and would like to bond with their kids into an easy introduction to the horror genre.

Do you think there a need for kids to be able to transition from, let’s say, light spooky cartoons, such as Scooby Doo, to mature horror?

Pete: I think transitioning from mellow horror to mature horror is a good idea. Otherwise you stand the chance of traumatizing a child. Where that point of psychological trauma is varies from child to child, as it does from adult to adult. I think regarding the viewing of films, young people in general, even preteens, are more mature these days and, right or wrong, more receptive, and less sensitive to images of horror, including violence and gore compared to past generations. Of course, there should be limitations on what younger kids see, as everyone, even adults, have varying thresholds of sensitivity. These limitations are probably best determined by a child’s parents and are largely dependent on their environment. But in general, I think kids are more accepting of more mature horror images.

Tammy: When I interviewed Tony Moran, Michael Myers from Halloween, we had this very same conversation! It amazes us both how young his fans

are today, when back in the day when it was released, it was older teens and adults that were the fans.

It does seem kids today are desensitized, whether it is from video games or simply watching content parents enjoyed when they were older. While the old school cartoons obviously aren’t cutting it for kids, as it may have in generations past, I do think there is a need for a cross over platform before going into adult horror.

Pete: I think we could use more independently produced kid horror. Horror that goes beyond commercially produced horror. Being independent means we could be edgy and do things typically not done in the mainstream. Commercially produced G-rated horror films and cartoons have their place and are appropriate horror introductions for young and impressionable children, but I think in general kids yearn for, and can take a lot more. Plus, it’s important to show young people that independently produced movies and shows can be better than commercially produced mainstream media.

Tammy: I agree! How many times have we seen an Indie movie cross over to mainstream and be a success? Although it may seem rare, often times those rare opportunities make us realize that a creative mind need not have a mainstream backer but simply a chance to be seen. Fortunately, streaming is a thing now. Giving us so many more opportunities to see these gems we may never have known about.

Pete: I think THE TEEN HORROR

“Even my most extreme and disturbing adult content is always infused with an element of humor, albeit more often than not, “dark humor”.”

and gory, and though not necessarily funny, rarely takes itself too seriously, thus imparting an effective horrific, but not emotionally traumatic, experience on a young viewer. Plus, many times, the horror or death we see turns out to be a dream or fantasy which can soften the shock.

Maybe I’m desensitized from all the horror I’ve seen as a kid. But I think most kids now can take more horror at an early age, as long as they are more or less being guided by someone with experience and common sense.

Tammy: I remember when I started introducing my boys to the horror genre. It was tough because I was constantly worried about “the girl scenes”, as I would call them. The blood and gore were not so much, because even back then they had the books and video games that had gotten them use to that. Plus, they knew blood and gore were movie magic, the girl parts not so much.

It was the adult situations that they certainly weren’t ready for, so of course the PG 13 would come in handy, but tended to make them want more.

You not only direct the stories but also write them?

Pete: Yes, I generally come up with an idea, and will sometimes write the story and complete script myself, but occasionally I’ll commission a more professional writer (usually one of my talented friends) to write the screenplay or script. This is especially the case if I need to have a story with multiple

characters with a lot of dialogue.

Tammy: I like that you are open to other’s works or incorporating them into your own work.

Who inspires you with your stories for this series?

Pete: I think I’m inspired by my own fears, or things I personally find weird or disturbing.

I’m not a psychiatrist, but I have the feeling film making may be my way of resolving some of the deeply ingrained fears and passions within my own psyche.

Tammy:That’s exactly how I feel about my writing. Writing is therapy for me. It allows me to work out every day trials and tribulations by getting them out of my head and onto paper.

I’ve seen a couple of your shows and I really liked them! I especially like the cutaways or references to classics. Do you think these cutaways entice the kids to want to see the old classics?

Pete: The old Zacherle shows often had cutaways of classic movies, so I wanted to emulate a similar style. I found as we were shooting these, the teens had never heard of most of the movies we referenced. I found that realization personally interesting because I GREW UP on these old horror films and initially couldn’t fathom anyone not hearing of, let’s say “Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein”! More disturbing still was the realization that the teens never even heard of Abbott and Costello! But

“Regarding the challenge in general – to me, the challenge is the fun part, and most rewarding part, once the film is complete.”

this only reinforced the premise of the shows. I wanted it to be as if the teens knew about the old movies through their parents or older siblings, thus although wanting to appear knowledgeable often get the facts wrong, for example by asserting “Bela Linguini” was the first movie vampire (not Count Dracula PLAYED by Bela Lugosi).

I hope these episodes will be viewed by young people and their parents, for the very reason of discussing some of the old movies mentioned thus broadening the younger generation’s appreciation of the many great classics they may not have heard of as well as horror in general.

Tammy: I couldn’t agree more! I loved Alfred Hitchcock and Vincent Price. Just the other day we were watching a behind the scenes with Betty Davis and Joan Crawford in What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? Even though it was a different time and without the special effects we have today, the stories back then were still good! And it surprises you how creative they were when it did come to special effects!

Do you find that adding humor to horror also helps ease kids, even adults, into the horror genre?

Pete: Humor always tends to soften uncomfortable situations, and certainly horror. Even my most extreme and disturbing adult content is always infused with an element of humor, albeit more often than not, “dark humor”. I have never been a big fan of horror comedies, especially those produced more recently. An obvious exception is the classic horror

comedy ABBOT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN. But frankly, even that movie’s comedy was almost exclusively delivered by the comic duo Abbot and Costello at the expense of the monsters who always pretty much played it straight.

Tammy: I think it makes a horror movie or story more natural if there is humor. Because in real life, how often do we find ourselves joking or making fun of ourselves for being scared?

A family friendly series may be new to you, but you have been a director for quite some time now. How long and how many movies have you created?

Pete: I directed my first movie in 1995 (PSYCHO SISTERS). I’ve directed about 15 features and over a hundred shorts.

Tammy: Not only is that impressive, but you’re forgetting how many awards you have won because of them! It seems like every film festival I see you at, you’ve won yet another award, good for you! Between the mature movies and the kid friendly ones, which do you find more challenging?

Pete:Kid friendly films are only more challenging because they are logistically more involved. Starting with the casting, obviously I’m dealing with the parents. Everything must be explained and agreed upon. A high level of trust is required. Of course, the parents must approve the script and are always present on set. I always go into as much detail as possible with both cast and crew, regardless of the type of movie. For mature movies

everyone knows in advance the extent of gore and eroticism, if applicable. If anyone expresses concern or doubt, I advise they not do it. Regarding the challenge in general – to me, the challenge is the fun part, and most rewarding part, once the film is complete.

Tammy: The series looks like the kids are having fun! Do they ever come up with ideas of their own to help out with the content?

Pete: I personally wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t fun. While shooting any scene, I try to make it fun, despite the sometimes morbid or scary subject matter. Kids, by nature, make things more fun. They do sometimes have really good ideas. I always hear them out. I do occasionally have to “reel them in” if they get too goofy (which they sometimes do, especially if there are lots of them). But the whole idea of THE TEEN HORROR SHOW was to show kids having fun with horror, so as long as things moved along, I encouraged laughing and fun. (Except when it came to the part where the kids are eaten alive by THE BLOB, LOL). No, even that was kind of fun!

Tammy: I can only imagine how much fun you have with them. You can tell with just the way you are talking about it! The excitement and enthusiasm you have, it’s almost as if it is bringing out the kid in you. I love that!

I’m sure it takes a small village to create such an undertaking of your vision for this series. Do you have some shout outs you would like to do?

“Indeed, filmmaking is a collaborative effort. I enjoy working with a small dedicated crew, several of whom I’ve worked with numerous times.”

“Even though the back to school doom and gloom may be impending, with homework and sports, take a night off! Make some popcorn and have a family night with Pete’s new series!”

Pete: Indeed, filmmaking is a collaborative effort. I enjoy working with a small dedicated crew, several of whom I’ve worked with numerous times. I frequently work with Edward X Young, a prolific indie actor, writer, director who is also quite proficient behind the camera.

My recurring kid movie crew is Carlos Gonzalez, Justin Williams, Sabrina Hajsok and Alicia Pffaf, all relatively young film grads skilled at relating to kids. My wife, Francesca, is also an important part of production, since she often supplies the nourishment.

My favorite kid actors are Chase Bolnick (former KARS FOR KIDS actor now a filmmaker himself), Alex Apgar, Mason Indominico, Antony Hajsok, and brothers Jordan A and Devin M Magazine. All of the above mentioned were involved in THE TEEN HORROR SHOW project and its related films.

Tammy: Now that we have given our readers a glimpse of your new creation, where can they actually see

it for themselves?

Pete:One can see some teasers and trailers of my films, including THE TEEN HORROR SHOW on the Pete Jacelone YouTube page. https://www.youtube.com/channel/ UCLXxEnrDAMkTfvbJ8e8ndSA

You can purchase DVDs or stream videos at www.sellfy.com/thrpro

You learn more about my production company and collaborators here: www. THRProLLC.com

Tammy: Thank you Pete, I’m so excited for you and the kids! I think it’s a wonderful platform to introduce kids to the horror genre, in a fun and kid friendly way!

Pete: Thank you for the honor of doing this interview.

Tammy: When my boys were growing up, they had the Goosebumps collection in book form. My love of the horror genre is what peaked their own interest. Wasn’t long I was scrambling to find kid friendly movies or shows that they

would enjoy as well.

Unfortunately, back then, the pickings were slim! And yet, we did watch the old black and white classics such as Abbott & Costello, Frankenstein, etc. Their content had already been monitored, with sex & language, due to the era they were made in.

Eventually, my boys advanced enough for them to watch the mature horror genre. A bond we created at the time and still enjoy to this day. I wished I had THE TEEN HORROR SHOW back then to help the transition go a bit smoother.

Even though the back to school doom and gloom may be impending, with homework and sports, take a night off! Make some popcorn and have a family night with Pete’s new series!

Enjoyable for the whole family and a much needed break from the true horror called life.

MEET CHRISTINA LACAGNINA

PHOTOS BY

“My steadfast belief in transparency and the power of teamwork has been the cornerstone of my professional ethic”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Can you share a bit about your background and what led you to become the newest president of Our Lady of Mercy School?

Living in Rochester for the past 22 years I was familiar with OLM and the school’s mark on the community. I went to an all-girls Catholic school in Buffalo, NY and cherished the opportunity as it has shaped the person I am today. I have worked in both Rochester and Buffalo in independent/private schools. When the opportunity presented itself to apply for the open position I jumped at the chance. The interview process was wonderful. Going through that process I was able to meet with many of the community stakeholders through my oncampus visit. It was apparent, with every group that I met, that there was a shared love of the school and respect for each other. Every group was able to eloquently speak about the importance of what being a Mercy School meant and how the critical concerns were upheld. The highlight of that visit was my meeting with the students. They were incredible, every single one of them. They asked pointed questions and their love for their school was palpable. I am truly honored to be chosen to be a part of The Circle of Mercy.

Prior to joining Our Lady of Mercy, where did you work and what experiences did you gain from those roles.

I have had the privilege of working

within a diverse spectrum of independent schools, spanning both Catholic and non-denominational institutions. As a graduate of a Catholic all-girls High School myself, I hold the values and determination cultivated during my educational journey close to my heart. These principles have seamlessly transitioned into my professional life, greatly influencing my approach to work.

I have had experience of working in

independent/private schools, aiming to comprehend their operational strategies and collaboratively working to address challenges. I firmly believe that through relationship-building and nurturing a sense of community we can create a space where mutual support and shared learning thrive.

My comprehensive understanding of the financial landscape that schools navigate equips me with the ability to address unique challenges that they face in today’s market. Recognizing the pivotal role of retention -of families, students, employees, alum, and donors, guides my strategic approach. I am equally committed to fostering and maintaining connections long after graduation.

global manufacturing, oil production and distribution, professional sports & entertainment before I made the transition into education.

My steadfast belief in transparency and the power of teamwork has been the cornerstone of my professional ethic. I wholeheartedly embrace the notion of rolling up one’s sleeves to collectively achieve objectives. I have created relationships with fellow

Having navigated both the Rochester and Buffalo markets, I understand the expectations of the discerning consumer. My current mission revolves around showcasing the distinctiveness of a Mercy educational experience. By highlighting the guiding principles and critical concerns of the Sisters of Mercy, coupled with the unparalleled quality of educational offerings, I aim to show how students can uniquely benefit from the Mercy difference.

What do you consider to be some of your strengths that will contribute to your role as president of the school?

I thrive in situations that demand strategic planning, innovative problem-

“I firmly believe that through relationship-building and nurturing a sense of community we can create a space where mutual support and shared learning thrive.”

solving and financial acumen. As I step into this new role, I will bring with me the strengths of attentive listening and the ability to foster meaningful relationships. My initial focus will be on actively listening and understanding the school’s historical journey and its aspirations for the future.

My approach will lean heavily towards collaboration; I believe that working with those around me ensures a shared dedication towards a unified goal. The upcoming welcoming of both students and faculty back into the building, and embarking on the exciting year ahead fills me with excitement.

My Commitment revolves around propelling the school’s mission forward, fostering collaborative efforts, and continually enhancing the school’s standing within the community. I am genuinely excited about the journey ahead and the opportunity to contribute to the school’s continued growth and success.

Being a Buffalo native and having attended an all-girls Catholic school yourself, how do you think this background helps you in your current position?

My parents giving me the opportunity to go to a private all-girls Catholic school is a gift that I will forever cherish. Being in an environment where women are learning side by side with other women, working as a team, and creating lifelong bonds was invaluable. An allgirls school brings such a unique lens to the learning experience. You are immersed in an atmosphere where

students build each other up and celebrate each other’s successes. This in particular was paramount for how I choose to live my life and the values that I work to instill in my own daughter.

Could you elaborate on your vision for empowering the young girls at Our Lady of Mercy over the next several years?

I am committed to supporting the programming and experiential learning opportunities for the students. I plan to partner with Sherylanne and her vision for curriculum and do anything possible to foster relationships, connections and fundraising to make those visions a reality. I aim to help foster a school and program that prepares our students for the next step in life and to ensure that Mercy is addressing the needs of the whole student matching both academic rigor as well as social and emotional needs.

Could you share some insights into the process and duration it took before you landed the role of president? Mercy partnered with a national search firm, Partners in Mission. I applied at a later stage in their search when I learned of the role. The initial phase involved an interview with the search consultant, followed by consecutive engagements with the search committee – one conducted virtually and the other on-site. Subsequently, I was granted the privilege to revisit the campus, where I dedicated a full day to the immersive experience. This interview afforded me the opportunity to engage with various constituents and community stakeholders, highlighting the diverse

facets of the institution.

During my on campus visit, the individuals I encountered left an indelible mark; their warmth and openness resonated deeply. I was extremely grateful for the community’s commitment as they took time out of their busy summer schedules to make the time to meet with me. Most notable was my time with the students, an experience that surpassed my expectations and left me truly amazed by their remarkable qualities.

The final step was an interview with the Mercy Education system. The entire interview process spanned approximately a month and a half and was seamless.

How do you plan on fostering community involvement and engagement within and around the school?

This is something that I will be working with the management team on. We will be working collaboratively to address this while building the infrastructure of what this will look like in the upcoming year. Cornerstones of this will consist of open communication channels, parent involvement programs, alumnae strengthening initiatives, and partnerships with local organizations. Throughout the cornerstones will be rich with traditions of Mercy while looking for new opportunities to expand the experiences of our students.

Can you reveal something about yourself that most people might not know?

I was a competitive swimmer, the pool is my happy place.

“As I step into this new role, I will bring with me the strengths of attentive listening and the ability to foster meaningful relationships.”

In your opinion, what is the significance of an all-girls Catholic education in today’s society? The opportunities that learning in an all-girls Catholic education setting is immeasurable. You are guided by faith and presented with opportunities to make your mark on the community. Students will find their voice, build their self-confidence and explore and define what it means to be a leader.

How do you plan to ensure a nurturing and inclusive environment for students of diverse backgrounds and beliefs?

In working on the cultivation of a nurturing and inclusive environment for students hailing from diverse backgrounds and beliefs within the context of a Catholic all-girls school founded in the Mercy faith, a multifaceted approach is essential. This approach aims to honor the school’s rich heritage while embracing the values of diversity, equity, inclusivity, and opportunity. Some of the ways that I intend to foster and support this environment are through inclusive policies, accessible resources, open dialogue, student organizations, and a commitment to continued learning and improvement.

In continued commitment we can create an educational environment that not only upholds the core values of the Mercy faith but also actively celebrates the uniqueness of each individual within the school community.

What role do you see extracurricular activities playing in the overall

development of the students?

I highly support students exploring and participating in their areas of interest. I love when a student finds their passion and spends the time cultivating their love for something. Mercy seems to have always had a robust offering of extracurricular activites that encourage our students to develop into well-rounded young women. The clubs, experiential learning opportunities, performing arts and athletics programs are strong and very important to our students and the school.

How do you envision building a strong alumnae network to support the current students and the school’s future endeavors?

I am currently working with the wonderful advancement office to come up with opportunities to connect and meet with the alum. There are so many ways that our current student body can benefit in creating connections and forging relationships with our alumni base. As a school, we also want to hear from you as our alumni. We want to hear about what is going on in your life and celebrate any milestones with you. We hope that you will come to campus and see all that is happening here at your alma mater. Please stay tuned for opportunities to connect.

Can you share a memorable story or moment from your own time as a student that shaped your perspective on education and leadership?

On a personal note, the moments that have imparted the most profound

lessons during my time as a student have been the instances of failure. While succeeding or achieving victory feel good, it is in the moments of adversity that genuine learning takes place. These experiences not only shape one’s academic journey but also contribute significantly to one’s character development.

Life, as we know, seldom adheres to our plans; there will inevitably be moments of stumbling and falling. However, what truly matters is the subsequent course of action. How does one muster the strength to rise again, dust off the setbacks, and embark on a fresh attempt? This is the pivotal juncture that defines not only one’s resilience but also the essence of personal growth.

“The opportunities that learning in an all-girls Catholic education setting is immeasurable.”

of a

inclusive environment for students hailing from diverse backgrounds and BELIEFS within the context of a Catholic all-girls school founded in the Mercy faith, a multifaceted approach is ESSENTIAL.

“ In working on the cultivation

NURTURING and

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

KRISTINE DEMO-VAZQUEZ

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Could you share a brief overview of your background and experience as an attorney?

I have spent over 20 years dedicated to the practice of family law right here in Monroe and surrounding Counties, in Upstate New York. My journey began at Monroe Community College and continued at the State University College at Brockport where I obtained my bachelor’s degree. With my young son in tow, I moved to Boston to attend New England School of Law. Today, I proudly own a successful law firm in my hometown, serving clients in a myriad of matrimonial and family law matters including divorce, custody disputes, and domestic violence, just to name a few. My life experiences have deeply shaped my professional trajectory. I am no stranger to challenges like poverty and divorce, but these experiences only fueled my determination. From a young age, I was determined to overcome barriers and, as an attorney, I have been able to empower others to do the same. I have been fortunate to represent thousands of clients over the years, always prioritizing patience, compassion, and education throughout the legal process.

Beyond the courtroom, I wear many hats – I am a wife of 18 years, a mother to five wonderful children, and a grandmother. I am also deeply invested in my community, volunteering my time in various capacities, including mentoring our youth and contributing to non-profits.

In my practice, I have taken on roles in both civil and criminal cases, and my experience extends from representing clients in family disputes to criminal matters like theft and DWI cases. I have also volunteered as a Pro-Bono

Attorney and participated in programs including the Monroe County Assigned Counsel Program and Attorney for the Child Program.

I bring to the table a rich tapestry of personal experiences and over two decades of legal experience. I am committed, compassionate, and ever ready to serve, especially now as I aspire to be your next Family Court Judge.

How did your journey as an attorney lead you to decide to run for Monroe County Family Court judge?

My journey as an attorney began with a deep-seated passion for helping families in need. From the onset of my legal education, I sought avenues that would allow me to offer holistic support to families. This became my professional calling and has captivated my heart and efforts ever since.

Throughout my life, the emphasis on family has been paramount. Together with my supportive husband, we’ve nurtured our children, cared for our aging mothers, and contributed actively to our community. Moreover, we’ve built our businesses from scratch, instilling values of hard work, dedication, and community service in our children. Now, as my children have grown and embarked on their individual journeys, it has become clear that it’s my time to step up further.

Given the tumultuous times we live in, and the multifaceted challenges families face in the court system today, there’s an undeniable need for judges who can empathize with all parties — be it the child, petitioner or respondent. I realized years ago that there is only so

much I can do as an attorney. The real change comes from the person making the decision – the judge. Having spent considerable time in the family court trenches, I understand the emotional and procedural intricacies at play. And it’s this profound understanding that drove me to put my hat in the ring for the Monroe County Family Court Judge position. I am determined to bring a balanced, compassionate, and experienced perspective to the bench. It is so important that we elect judges who genuinely grasp the emotionally driven challenges of family court cases and the complexities of the family court system.

Can you tell us about the areas of law your law offices specialize in?

At the Law Offices of Kristine M. DemoVazquez, P.C., I handle matrimonial and family law matters, including divorce, equitable distribution of assets and debts, child custody and visitation, interstate custody disputes, child support, paternity, spousal maintenance, postjudgment enforcement and modification matters, mediation, domestic violence and orders of protection, child abuse and neglect and termination of parental rights, stepparent adoption proceedings, name changes, qualified domestic relations orders. I also handle various civil and criminal matters including theft, shoplifting and larceny cases, driving while intoxicated/driving under the influence, disorderly conduct, harassment and criminal contempt; vehicle and traffic violations; preparation of last will and testament, powers of attorney and health care proxies; preparation of deeds; contract review and landlord tenant issues.

I understand that legal matters, especially

those related to family and criminal charges, can be incredibly stressful. I strive to offer professional and personalized services to my clients. My approach involves educating my clients about the legal process, answering their questions, and ensuring they are well-informed throughout their case. I am committed to tailoring our services to meet the unique needs of each individual, ensuring they receive the best representation possible.

What is it about Family Court that particularly resonates with you and keeps you passionate about it?

Family court deeply resonates with me because at its core, it’s about safeguarding the well-being of children. When I think about the myriad challenges families face, particularly in areas like custody, visitation, child support, and family offenses, I’m reminded of the immense responsibility and impact the court has on shaping futures. What truly fuels my passion is our commitment to resolving family disputes in ways that are not only just, but also timely and efficient. It’s not merely about administering the law; it’s about understanding the nuances of human relationships and dynamics.

Moreover, I’m consistently inspired by the support we offer to families during their transitional and crisis periods. Knowing that we provide a spectrum of services and resources makes me feel we’re genuinely making a difference. And the emphasis on fostering cooperation and mutual respect? That’s the hallmark of a system that truly values the essence of family.

Having judges who truly grasp the intricacies of the Family Court system is a testament to our dedication.

Being trauma-informed means, we approach each case with empathy and understanding, recognizing the profound effects trauma can have on individuals. It’s this holistic, compassionate approach to the welfare of families that keeps me passionate about Family Court.

Could you highlight some specific areas within the family court that you are particularly passionate about?

a)I’m deeply passionate about several areas within the family court system, and it’s hard to distill my enthusiasm down to just a few topics. However, if I had to pinpoint specific areas, I’d say the following resonate with me the most:

•Child Welfare and Safety: Nothing is more important than the safety and well-being of children involved in family disputes. Whether it’s custody battles, visitation rights, or child support, ensuring that decisions are made in the best interest of the child is paramount. This ties in directly with the need for traumainformed judges who understand the profound impact that these proceedings can have on young lives.

• Efficiency and Timeliness: The court process can be long and grueling, especially for families in crisis. I’m passionate about streamlining these procedures so that resolutions can be reached in a timely manner, allowing families to move on and heal. Delay can often exacerbate the stress and difficulties families face.

• Supportive Services and Resources: Families going through transitions need more than just legal resolutions; they need emotional and psychological support. The continuum of services like

counseling and educational programs, such as New York State’s Parent Education and Awareness Program, can make a significant difference in outcomes for families and especially children.

• Adoption Proceedings: Whether it’s a private placement or an agency adoption, this is a transformative process that changes lives forever. It’s crucial that these proceedings are handled with utmost care and integrity, ensuring that the child’s long-term welfare is the primary focus. That includes making sure potential parents are properly vetted and that biological parents have given informed consent.

• Juvenile Justice: Young people who find themselves entangled in the legal system deserve a chance at absolution rather than punishment alone. I’m interested in approaches like diversion and adjustment that seek to resolve issues without filing a petition when possible. For those who do go through the court system, providing them with appropriate representation and ensuring their constitutional rights are upheld is crucial.

• Parental Education and Conflict Resolution: The curriculum designed to educate parents about the impact of their separation on their children is an invaluable resource. Learning how to minimize conflict and foster a supportive environment for their children can lead to more positive long-term outcomes for everyone involved.

• Multi-agency Collaboration: Courts don’t operate in a vacuum. Collaborating with social services, mental health agencies, and other entities can provide a holistic

“With me, you won’t just get a judge who knows the law; you’ll get someone who knows life.”

solution to family issues. Inter-agency cooperation can lead to better-informed decisions by the court and better outcomes for families.

Family Court isn’t just about resolving disputes; it’s about safeguarding the future of families and, most importantly, children. These are the areas that I find particularly meaningful and in need of continuous attention and improvement.

Did you always have the goal of becoming an attorney, or was there a moment or experience that inspired you to pursue this path?

a) No, I didn’t always have the goal of becoming an attorney. It was my mom who became the bedrock of my ambition. She has always been my biggest cheerleader, illuminating the idea that despite challenges, one can achieve great heights with determination and perseverance. Her constant support and belief in me, even when others doubted my abilities, shaped me.

b) Growing up, witnessing my mother’s strength in navigating challenges such as poverty and divorce, taught me resilience. She single-handedly provided a home filled with love, friendship, and family, a testament to her indomitable spirit. Her example showed me that we have the power to change our circumstances through dedication and hard work.

c) It wasn’t just her words, but her actions too. When I was a somewhat reserved 12-year-old, she introduced me to martial arts. This decision not only helped me make lifelong friends but more crucially, instilled in me the values of self-discipline and the significance of giving back to the community.

All these experiences, lessons, and my mom’s continuous guidance made me realize that I wanted to make a tangible difference in the lives of others. I recognized that as an attorney, I could be the voice for those who felt unheard and be the help that would enable them to overcome their challenges. Despite the naysayers, my conviction never wavered, and it was this calling that steered me towards the path of law.

In a competitive field, what qualities or experiences do you believe set you apart from other potential Family Court judges?

a) In this increasingly competitive field, I believe several qualities distinguish me from other potential family court judges:

• Trauma-Informed Perspective: I firmly adhere to the belief that a traumainformed judge does not just master the legalities but deeply understands the traumatic effects on families. My approach is always rooted in compassion, empathy, and sensitivity. Recognizing the potential trauma individuals might have faced, I am dedicated to ensuring the courtroom is a haven where families feel genuinely heard and understood and limit re-traumatization.

• Comprehensive Experience: My professional journey spanning beyond two decades has given me intimate knowledge of the multifaceted and emotionally intense challenges families grapple with in the court system. This isn’t just theoretical for me; it’s been my day-to-day, for decades.

• Prioritizing Family Wellbeing: I’ve always maintained that decisions made in the family court carry profound

implications, especially for the children involved. I’m deeply committed to fostering an environment where decisions are informed and aim for the holistic wellbeing of families, promoting healing and positive growth.

• Life Experience: On a personal note, my background as a teen mom, raised in challenging circumstances, has instilled in me a resilience and determination that I carry into my work. I have firsthand experience with overcoming barriers through hard work and determination, making me more attuned to the struggles many face in family court.

• Advocacy: Throughout my career, I’ve been an advocate for all parties in family court, representing children, petitioners, and respondents alike. This rounded perspective ensures that I approach cases with a balanced, fair view, always putting families first.

• Commitment to Positive Impact: Every person who comes before the court deserves a judge who approaches each case with empathy, understanding, and a heartfelt commitment to making decisions that lead to positive changes in their lives.

• Ensuring Informed Decisions: Recognizing the long-term impact of family court decisions, it is paramount to have judges who grasp the emotional intricacies of the system. My experiences and training have equipped me to be that judge.

My blend of professional experience, personal history, and genuine commitment to families and children positions me uniquely in this field. I aspire to serve with compassion, justice, and

“I aspire to serve with compassion, justice, and utmost integrity, always championing the best outcomes for families.”

utmost integrity, always championing the best outcomes for families.

For the people of Monroe County, what do you believe makes you a compelling candidate for the role of Family Court judge?

• I believe that my candidacy for Family Court judge in Monroe County is compelling for several reasons that resonate with the needs and experiences of our community.

First and foremost, I’m not just trained in the law; I’ve lived through the kinds of experiences that many families find themselves grappling with in family court. I’ve been a teen mom and a single mom, raised in poverty in a divorced home. I understand firsthand the emotional and practical challenges that come with these circumstances. This lived experience enables me to approach cases with a level of empathy and understanding that’s rooted in reality, not just theory.

My commitment to the law and to justice is bolstered by nearly 20 years of hands-on advocacy in family court. I’ve represented children, petitioners, and respondents. I understand the system inside and out, and I’m deeply aware of its shortcomings—how it often prioritizes efficiency over the genuine wellbeing of families. That’s something I will work hard to change.

I’ve also been a lifelong resident, student, business owner, and advocate in Monroe County, so I have a vested interest in the health and happiness of this community. I have a track record of putting families first, and I intend to continue that as a judge.

One of my core principles is being trauma informed. That means I aim to create a courtroom environment where everyone—parents, children, and legal representatives—feels safe, heard, and validated. I understand the lasting impact that family court decisions can have on people’s lives, and I take that responsibility seriously. My judgments will be geared toward promoting healing, growth, and positive outcomes for the entire family unit.

Furthermore, I intend to run a courtroom that is timely, respectful, and transparent. Too often, court systems delay muchneeded decisions and paperwork, leaving families in a state of uncertainty. That won’t happen in my courtroom. Every decision will be made carefully but also expediently, respecting both the law and the real-world needs of families.

I offer a blend of professional experience, personal understanding, and a steadfast commitment to compassionate justice. With me, you won’t just get a judge who knows the law; you’ll get someone who knows life. And in Family Court, where the outcomes affect our most personal relationships and our future, that makes all the difference.

How do you manage to balance your responsibilities as an attorney and a candidate while also juggling your own family life?

• Balancing my responsibilities as an attorney and a candidate, while also managing my family life, is indeed a challenge, but I’ve found ways to make it work. There are several key pillars that make it manageable and enjoyable for me:

• First, I have an incredibly supportive

husband. Having a strong partner makes all the difference because it’s like having a co-pilot in life. We navigate the challenges together, which lightens the load on both of us.

• Secondly, family comes first, always. Whether it’s my kids or grandkids, when we’re together, we’re fully present. This sets a healthy precedent for work-life balance and ensures that the quality of time spent with family is high. My family understands the importance of my work and candidacy, but they also know they are my top priority.

• Being a bit of an introvert, I value the “me-time” that’s essential for recharging. Martial arts, a practice I’ve followed since I was 12, helps me maintain selfdiscipline and focus. These are skills that extend into my professional life as an attorney and a candidate.

• Open communication with my family is another cornerstone. We have a mutual understanding that we’re all in this together. Whether it’s discussing my campaign plans or talking through a tough day at work, we make collective decisions when needed. This ensures that everyone’s on the same page and supporting each other.

• My passion for community service also keeps me grounded. It reminds me that life isn’t just about me; it’s also about contributing to a larger community. This is especially important in my work as an attorney where I often help people navigate emotionally challenging situations. It’s more than a job; it’s a calling to make people’s lives better. This aligns closely with my role as a candidate, where the aim is also to

“My blend of professional experience, personal history, and genuine commitment to families and children positions me uniquely in this field.”

improve the community on a larger scale.

• I keep my eye on the bigger picture. A healthy family leads to healthy neighborhoods, and by extension, to a healthy community and society. Even when the balancing act gets tough, remembering this gives me the focus and motivation to keep going.

So, while it’s undoubtedly challenging to wear so many hats, it’s these principles and support systems that enable me to manage it all effectively.

Can you share an example of a challenging Family Court case you’ve worked on and how it impacted your perspective on the role of a judge?

One of the most challenging Family Court cases I’ve worked on was around a decade ago when I represented a mother struggling with drug addiction. She was fiercely determined to rebuild a relationship with her child and overcome her addiction. The challenges and complexities of addiction were not foreign to me; I had seen its devastating effects firsthand with my ex-husband,

who sadly passed away at the age of 40 due to its consequences. Witnessing someone grapple with the desire to become sober, juxtaposed with the daunting realities of breaking free from addiction, offers a sobering perspective.

In our case, we were able to pair the mother with a mentor and, eventually, facilitate her entry into a rehabilitation program. Through her determination and the support system we helped put in place, she not only achieved sobriety but also regained unsupervised visits with her child. The judge presiding over the case played an instrumental role, demonstrating profound empathy and compassion, which deeply impacted my views on the judicial system.

Family Court often navigates sensitive waters, where the lines between winners and losers blur. The ultimate goal is to serve the best interest of the child. Throughout my career, I’ve always prioritized establishing trust and ensuring transparency with my clients. My experience has shown that while this approach can alleviate some of the

adversities faced in court, there are inherent systemic issues that can’t be ignored.

Our legal system can sometimes prioritize expediency over compassion, and I’ve seen families grapple with confusion and fear due to rushed decisions. Delays in vital paperwork or decisions can have detrimental effects on the very families we aim to serve. Recognizing this, I work very hard to ensure my contributions are timely, accurate, and thorough before reaching the court. In the role of family court judge, I will remain committed to upholding these standards within my courtroom and will actively advocate for systemic improvements that prioritize empathy and understanding.

What do you see as the most significant challenges facing the Family Court system today, and how do you envision addressing them?

In my view, the most significant challenges facing the Family Court system today revolve around the need for a more nuanced and individualized approach to cases. The traditional ‘one size fits

“Family Court isn’t just about resolving disputes; it’s about safeguarding the future of families and, most importantly, children.”

all’ method doesn’t cut it. Every family is different; each case presents unique circumstances that need to be carefully considered. A decision made by the court can have long-lasting impacts on a family’s structure, mental health, and overall well-being. Therefore, it’s crucial that the court digs deeper into the root causes of the issues at hand, rather than just addressing the symptoms or surfacelevel matters.

To tackle this issue, I intend to forge strong partnerships with parents, community organizations, and other resources. These partnerships would aim to bring additional information and perspectives into the courtroom, ensuring that judgments are well-rounded and considerate of the family’s unique context. Trust is the foundation of any system that seeks to resolve interpersonal matters. My court will make it a priority to establish that trust by being transparent about our processes and prompt in our actions.

I plan to adhere to timeliness in every step of the legal process, whether it’s scheduling hearings or issuing judgments. Delays not only add emotional and financial strain to families but can also hinder a child’s development and the overall family dynamic. Therefore, expediency is not just a matter of efficiency; it’s a matter of justice.

Moreover, respect and transparency will be the cornerstone principles of my court. All court processes and decisions will be made with these principles in mind, ensuring everyone feels their voice has been heard and their concerns have been acknowledged. This atmosphere aims to create a culture of mutual respect,

wherein trust between the court and the public is continually earned by listening carefully and acting swiftly, always based on the law and the individual facts of each case.

By implementing these steps, I aim to transform the Family Court system into a more empathetic, efficient, and effective institution, genuinely serving the best interests of each unique family that comes before it.

If elected, what initiatives or changes do you hope to bring to Monroe County Family Court during your term?

If elected to Monroe County Family Court, here’s what I plan to implement and advocate for:

• Trauma-Informed Approach: I’m steadfast in my belief that our judges must be trauma-informed. This means they won’t just know the law, but they will also have a deep understanding of the effects of trauma on families. This approach will ensure that when families come before the court, they’re met with compassion, empathy, and sensitivity. I want every person that walks into the courtroom to feel heard, validated, and understood.

• Timeliness & Efficiency: I cannot stress enough the importance of timeliness in all aspects of each case. Families already face significant emotional stress; delays only exacerbate this. As a judge, I will prioritize efficient proceedings, ensuring that paperwork, services, and final decisions are provided promptly, reducing unnecessary anguish for families.

• Transparency & Trust: My courtroom will be one where trust is paramount. Trust isn’t just handed over; it’s earned. And how

do we earn it? By being transparent in all court processes and decisions. Families deserve to know what’s happening, why it’s happening, and what to expect next. This transparency can significantly reduce anxiety and fear.

• Promoting Healing & Positive Outcomes: My experience has shown me the deep emotional challenges families face within our court system. Decisions made here ripple outwards, affecting parents and especially children. As a judge, I will always prioritize the wellbeing of the whole family, aiming for decisions that foster healing, growth, and favorable results for everyone involved, and always in the best interest of the children.

• Addressing Systemic Issues: I’ve seen the system push families through the process, many times with a lack of empathy or understanding. This rushed approach can leave families feeling lost and even more traumatized. I will advocate for a system that values the humanity of every individual and family it serves.

• Ensuring Fairness: It’s a fact, in family court, we often don’t have clear winners or losers. Everyone must sometimes compromise. My goal is to ensure that these compromises truly reflect the best interests of the family, and most importantly, the child involved. Through establishing trust and being transparent and swift in my actions, I aim to minimize the ill feelings that can arise in these challenging situations.

I have witnessed firsthand the emotional turbulence families endure in the court system. My vision is of a Monroe County Family Court that becomes a place of understanding, healing, and

“Being trauma-informed means, we approach each case with empathy and understanding, recognizing the profound effects trauma can have on individuals.”

positive growth. Through informed, compassionate, and transparent decisions, I believe we can make a difference in the lives of countless families.

How do you plan to ensure fairness and impartiality in your decisions as a Family Court judge?

Drawing from my years as an attorney, where I have witnessed the spectrum of judicial behaviors, I am deeply committed to ensuring fairness and impartiality in my decisions as a family court judge. My experiences have highlighted the disparities within the system and have driven me to create a mental checklist for how I want to preside over cases.

Firstly, I will approach each case as a trauma-informed judge. I believe it’s vital to recognize the emotional and psychological impact on those who come before the court. This means being patient, understanding, and most importantly, an active listener. People deserve to feel heard and understood, especially in such sensitive matters.

In addition, my priority will always be preparedness. Coming into the courtroom well-versed in the details of a case ensures that everyone gets a fair shot. By doing this, I can apply the law as it’s intended and make decisions rooted firmly in the facts and unique circumstances presented to the court.

I have observed inefficiencies in our current system, where cases are often rushed without due empathy or compassion. This can lead to families feeling lost and frustrated. I am determined to counter this by ensuring that any matter I oversee is processed in a timely and conscientious

manner. If documents and processes are accurate and prompt, it minimizes the potential harm or misunderstandings that might arise.

Moreover, with over two decades of experience in family court advocacy, representing all sides from children to both petitioner and respondent, has cemented my belief that a “one size fits all” approach is inadequate. It’s essential to delve deeper into the root causes of issues and understand the broader environmental factors that might influence a family’s situation.

To tackle these challenges holistically, I plan to strengthen ties with parents and tap into community resources. Building trust is paramount. I intend to foster this trust through transparency and swift actions, ensuring all parties involved in the family court feel supported and guided through their journey. In essence, my goal is to bridge the gap between the courtroom and the community, aiming for resolutions that truly benefit and safeguard the well-being of families.

Family Court cases can be emotionally charged. How do you approach maintaining empathy and professionalism in such situations? When dealing with Family Court cases, which are inherently emotionally charged, I draw upon my unique background and extensive experience to approach them with empathy and professionalism. I have observed firsthand the inadequacies of a system that sometimes rushes decisions without the necessary compassion or understanding. Such hasty decisions can leave families feeling lost and vulnerable. I’ve made it a personal mission to ensure that all my work is timely, thorough, and

accurate, reflecting the true needs and best interests of the families involved.

My journey, from being a teen mom raised in poverty to navigating the challenges of a single-parent household, has equipped me with a profound understanding of the multifaceted and emotionally taxing hurdles people encounter in the family court system. These life experiences, combined with over two decades of dedicated advocacy in family court - representing children, petitioners, and respondents alike - have shaped my perspective.

I firmly believe in tailoring my approach to each individual case, recognizing that there isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ solution. My approach is systemic, delving into the root causes and environmental factors that impact families, rather than just the surface issues presented in the courtroom. I understand the lifelong consequences of the decisions made in these cases, and it’s crucial for me, whether as an attorney or a judge, to remain committed to ensuring that justice isn’t sacrificed for expediency.

My blend of personal experiences and professional dedication drives me to maintain a balance of empathy and professionalism in every family court case I encounter.

What strategies do you believe are effective in promoting healthy coparenting and resolving disputes in Family Court cases?

In my experience as an attorney working on family court cases, there are several strategies that I believe work best for promoting healthy co-parenting and resolving disputes.

“Family court deeply resonates with me because at its core, it’s about safeguarding the wellbeing of children.”

Beyond the courtroom, I wear MANY HATS – I am a wife of 18 years, a mother to five wonderful children, and a GRANDMOTHER. I am also deeply invested in my community, volunteering my time in various capacities, including MENTORING our youth and contributing to nonprofits.

Encourage Mediation: Before going to court, when appropriate, I discuss mediation as a possible first step. It is a neutral space where both parents can talk openly about what they think is best for their child, facilitated by a mediator. This often leads to more cooperative behavior and solutions that both parties feel they had a say in.

Education: Parents should be educated about the impacts of their decisions and actions on their children. When they understand the psychological and emotional needs of their children, they are more likely to make choices that benefit everyone involved.

Effective Communication: I encourage my clients to maintain open lines of communication with the other parent. This can be tough, especially in emotionally charged situations, but it is essential for the well-being of the child. Text messages and emails can be good for this as they allow for thoughtful responses and are also trackable should issues arise later.

Legal Agreements: Crafting a co-parenting agreement can help set clear expectations for both parties. This document outlines the responsibilities of each parent and can be a valuable reference to minimize future conflicts.

Utilize Professionals: Sometimes it’s helpful to consult with experts like child psychologists or family counselors. These professionals can offer valuable insights that can inform custody arrangements and parenting plans.

Be Trauma-Informed: Understand that family disputes and court proceedings

can be traumatic experiences for children. The more you can do to minimize this trauma, the better. Judges, too, should be trauma-informed in their decisionmaking processes.

Elect Compassionate Judges: I couldn’t agree more that family court judges need to be compassionate and understanding, given the emotional and complex nature of family court. This is not just about legal decisions; it is about impacting lives. Judges must be trained and educated in family dynamics, child development, and the long-term effects of their rulings on families.

Seek Collaboration Not Combat: I remind clients that going to trial should be a last resort. When matters are resolved in court, it often leads to a winner-takes-all scenario that can exacerbate tensions and hostilities. It’s far better to collaborate and reach a mutual agreement when appropriate.

Transparency and Honesty: Above all, being transparent and honest in proceedings ensures that everyone’s cards are on the table. This lays the groundwork for fair negotiations and serves the best interests of the child.

By adopting these strategies, we not only pave the way for healthier co-parenting relationships but also for more effective and humane family court resolutions.

Could you share a bit about how your personal values and experiences have shaped your approach to the role of Family Court judge?

Family is the cornerstone of my life and has deeply influenced my professional journey. Having been a teen parent, I’ve

faced unique challenges that many might not encounter. This experience alone instilled in me the significance of resilience and determination. I worked diligently to finance my college education, facing numerous doubters along the way. From high school through law school, there were voices that questioned my potential and capability. Yet, every doubting voice only fueled my passion and drive even more. Two words encapsulate my journey: hard work and perseverance. When I hear Corey Hart’s “Never Surrender,” it feels like the soundtrack to my life’s story.

With a blended family of five children, my husband Peter and I have created a loving household where every child, biological or not, is cherished equally. Our home also became a haven for our extended family members. I’ve worn many hats in my life: from being a teen parent to a single parent, a stepparent, caregiver to my mother, mother-in-law and stepmother, a full-time worker, an entrepreneur, and more. While I might joke about being a baker and candlestick maker, each of these roles has enriched my perspective and endowed me with a deep understanding of the complexity’s families’ face.

Drawing from these experiences, my approach to being a Family Court judge is trauma-informed, prioritizing empathy and understanding. I genuinely want to impact lives positively, recognizing the intricacies of each family’s situation. I believe everyone deserves a fair chance, and I’m committed to ensuring that the court is a place of justice, understanding, and support.

“My life experiences have deeply shaped my professional trajectory. I am no stranger to challenges like poverty and divorce, but these experiences only fueled my determination.”

LA’TRECE BARTLEY

Can you introduce yourself and share a bit about your background?

Of course! My name is La’Trece Bartley, and I’m from sunny Jacksonville, Florida. I’m an author, entrepreneur, and speaker with over 20 years of administration experience, including executive administration. I am passionate about operational efficiency, promoting excellence, and aiding individuals and organizations in fulfilling their purpose. I aim is to assist people in becoming more Focused, Intentional, and Tenacious (F.I.T.™) in their personal and professional lives. I’m a proud alumnus of the University of Florida; I graduated from the Warrington College of Business with my bachelor’s degree.

The two titles I cherish the most are being a devoted wife to my husband, Javier, of 18 years and a homeschooling mom to three wonderful children: Langston, Myles, and Olivia. My faith and relationship with Jesus Christ are essential in my life, and I aim to encourage others to prioritize their faith and overall health and wellness. Oh, and I am an extreme pizza lover!

How did you initially become involved in coaching and mentoring women and girls?

Initially, I found myself drawn to volunteer opportunities and serving in ministry. I consistently encouraged and empowered women throughout my college years and professional career. I’m a little feisty! Okay, a lot feisty! I don’t accept “no” easily. I was known among my friends as the “encourager” who wouldn’t let you give up, even in leadership roles where I listened and

pushed others to do and become their best.

In my career, I would be at lunch helping women find faith during tough times and mapping out their goals! Looking back, I realize how significant those moments were. Even in the gym, I would pray, encourage, or strategize with friends in the locker room! At the time, I didn’t know that I was coaching or mentoring.

and courage, and often self-sabotaging our efforts. I know this from personal experience since I was a woman of self-sabotage! I inwardly struggled with doubt, mommy guilt, and stepping out of my comfort zone.

I learned to be bold; sometimes you just do “it” scared. I have seen God’s hand all over my life, so I want to help as many women and girls silence fear and doubt, believe what God says, step out of their comfort zone, and live out purpose.

I founded Purposefully Living, L.L.C., to positively impact the lives of women and girls. Through prayer and Bible study, professional development opportunities, I found the confidence to pursue my goals with God’s help. My mission is to inspire and empower other women to do the same: Trust in God’s plan, persevere through challenges, and fulfill your true purpose by getting “F.I.T.”

What inspired you to encourage others to realize their God-given potential?

Fast forward a few years, I felt God was leading me to resign from my corporate career and start my own business. I knew I had a greater purpose, and one of my goals was positively impacting women’s lives. I believe that women are influential, resilient, strong, multi-faceted, and gifted with superpowers from God! However, we are also fragile, overly critical of ourselves, lacking confidence

To answer this question, I want to share a Bible story that has always been significant to me. It’s the story of Esther, which my parents taught me at a young age. Even though God is not mentioned in the Book of Esther, you can see his hand throughout her life. My dad always reminded me that I have a great purpose, I am a queen, and never to take off my crown. Throughout my life, my mom always emphasized the importance of Esther’s story.

PHOTOS BY SARAH HEDDEN PHOTOGRAPHY

Esther’s bravery and strategy saved a nation from a plot to kill them. She was beautiful and wise but had become too comfortable. Her uncle reminded her that she had been given her position of royalty for a purpose and that the time had come for her to stand up and be bold. She had to choose whether to be used by God or perish with her people. Her uncle also pointed out that God could use someone else if she didn’t step up. I encourage everyone to read this incredible story!

Esther’s beauty played a part in her becoming queen, yet her beauty had a God-given purpose. I relate to Esther’s story in the present day, as it has taught me valuable lessons throughout different

seasons of my life. Admittedly, I have previously taken off my crown and forgotten my worth. I have made poor decisions and struggled with self-doubt, causing me to feel unworthy of success and God’s love. I have felt “stuck.” However, I resolved to move forward and grow from my experiences. I understood that my past does not invalidate God’s purpose and plans for my life. Instead, my past presented an opportunity for growth.

I encourage and inspire women to embrace their inner royalty, never forfeiting their rightful crowns. I firmly believe that our unique talents, gifts, and abilities are given to us by God for a purpose. Everything in our lives, whether our careers, marriages, children,

or hardships, has a purpose.

By stepping out of our comfort zones and embracing vulnerability, we can offer support to others. I want women to know, “You were created for such a time as this.”

Could you explain the meaning behind the initials FIT in your work?

Get F.I.T.™ stands for Focused, Intentional, and Tenacious.

Whether it’s in a professional or personal setting, my goal is to assist others in “getting” or “becoming” more F.I.T.™ “Get F.I.T.” is a call to action and emphasizes putting God first and goals second.

“Our mission is to empower women to be bold, overcome self-doubt, and pursue their aspirations while prioritizing their faith, health, and well-being.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Simply thinking about your goals won’t bring them to fruition - you must decide to act - be intentional. Being tenacious means preparing and never giving up. Prepare for where you are headed before you arrive, and work like you are already there. When you’re tenacious, you’ll find a way over, under, around, or through obstacles without giving up.

What is the mission or purpose that drives your coaching and mentoring efforts?

The purpose behind my efforts is what I refer to as the “Power of One.” One person can impact millions. With just one individual, entire companies can be directed toward success, and countless lives can be transformed for the better.

Our mission highlights the importance of valuing every individual life. Additionally, we want to empower women to be bold and God-confident while prioritizing their faith, health, and well-being. The impact of a transformed life and its purpose is immeasurable.

I want to emphasize that “Get F.I.T.” focuses on “training,” not coaching. Training requires a disciplined lifestyle! It’s not easy, but it is a significant key to success. Although I am a certified life coach, nowadays, the term “coaching,” for many, has lost its true meaning and has become more about building a business than building lives. I take pride in providing exceptional service but impacting lives.

When you think of a coach, you typically imagine someone dedicated

to their team’s success. Similarly, a personal trainer at a gym is committed to helping individuals achieve their fitness goals. While clients may have multiple objectives, a trainer knows how to prioritize and focus on one goal at a time. I prioritize getting to the root of my client’s challenges.

You often talk about “living a lifestyle of purposefully living.” What does that mean to you? Going back to the story of Esther, she faced a difficult decision to move and had limited time to act. Esther acknowledged God “first” and bravely approached the king, risking her life. Essentially, she knew stepping outside of her comfort zone was a risk but trusted in God, and her efforts saved a nation.

Purposefully Living means “trusting God in every situation and circumstance, being intentional and courageous.” “Purposefully Living” also means facing obstacles head-on and persevering through adversity. It’s important to remember that our lives are not just about us - it’s about what God can do through us. Our mess does have a message and can help others avoid making the same mistakes if we are willing to be vulnerable and share our story.

Throughout life, we experience various seasons, some of which may require us to learn difficult lessons to thrive in the next season. “Purposeful Living” involves recognizing that God is in charge, and that nothing is ever wasted in your life.

Who are some of the women that have influenced and shaped your journey? I have three important women who have influenced my life greatly: my mother, Fayetta; my great aunt, Aunt Lizzy, who was more like a grandmother to me; and my Godmother, Brenda.

My mother is a remarkable womanresilient, intelligent, and selfless. Her inner strength is awe-inspiring, and she has overcome many challenges with unwavering faith. The most valuable lesson she taught me was the power of prayer. She always emphasized the importance of faith, my relationship with Christ, as my solid foundation in life, and prayer was like breath to my body. It’s necessary!

My mother’s beauty shines from the inside out. There is nothing quite like a mother’s love; she has always fought for me spiritually, mentally, and physically. I am grateful to have her in my life; honoring her is a privilege I will always cherish.

My great aunt, whom I affectionately called Aunt Lizzy, significantly impacted my life. She was more like a grandmother to me. She taught me the importance of God in my life as a little girl. She was a mighty woman of God who profoundly influenced me spiritually.

I’m blessed with an amazing Godmother who’s been like a mother. We have a unique relationship as I prayed for a Godmother at 17, and she came into my life at 19. She’s wise and beautiful, and her guidance, pearls of wisdom, and faith have been invaluable to me. I cherish her.

“Purposefully Living means trusting God in every situation and circumstance, being intentional, and courageous.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Balancing family, work, and ministry can be challenging. How do you manage these aspects in your life? Much prayer!

My faith guides me throughout the day, and prayer helps me gain clarity and focus. I “Calendar with Vision,” a concept I teach administrative teams and executives who are moms and wives struggling with competing priorities. It’s a powerful tool!

Calendaring with vision isn’t just about putting dates on a calendar and keeping up with schedules. It’s about having a vision and aligning it with God’s! When I am calendaring my life, I pray because God knows “the best pathway” for my life and guides me when I acknowledge him in all my ways. I must steward what God has given me well, which entails homeschooling, marriage, business, and personal growth goals. Also, fitness is essential to me. I particularly love running and weightlifting; it’s my happy place and a way to destress.

“The Power of One” is another concept I teach. One day, one moment, and one step at a time. Taking that one step matters even if I can’t accomplish everything I set out to do.

Could you tell us about your experience with pregnancy and how it impacted your journey?

Purposefully Living, LLC was “birthed” from my daughter, Olivia, and my miracle story. This was my third and last pregnancy. The short version is that I was diagnosed with

a rare pregnancy, Placenta Acreta. She was embedded in my C-scar. The “science” behind the diagnosis is that as the baby develops and I grow, I would have a uterine rupture and hemorrhage out and die. Initially, we went to a consult, thinking it was a routine follow-up, but four doctors later, my husband, who was a nurse, knew something was wrong. We were advised of the diagnosis and that the best option was abortion to preserve my life. I was told I needed to be immediately rushed to the emergency room for an abortion. If I didn’t, I would die, and the baby would not reach 19 weeks.

In our research, it seemed that everyone aborted. Four specialists later, it was the same diagnosis, abortion and death. I refused! I was ridiculed for not aborting. It was a very contentious situation. My husband and I decided to leave the hospital because we did not feel we were being supported and we needed to advocate for our unborn child. It was a desperate situation.

I had been denied by two hospitals concerning taking my case. However, a friend connected us with an excellent doctor I call “Dr. E.” Erin Burnett. Her staff was exceptional. More importantly, she didn’t try to force me against my beliefs but was honest regarding the risks.

My faith is one of my core values. This situation taught me perseverance, trusting the process, and the

importance of becoming an advocate for my unborn child. I learned just how strong I was. I prayed a lot. I am alive, and I have a beautiful daughter. I still cry some days looking at her because I know how hard we fought. It wasn’t easy, but we endured.

In a nutshell, how would you describe yourself?

I am God-confident and passionate about efficiency, people, and life! My faith fuels me, and grace paces me! I am courageous and whole. I am a little loud, southern, sweet, and spicy!

Is there a piece of advice or a specific phrase that has always resonated with you?

I have a favorite quote from a missionary named James Hudson Taylor. The quote says, “All our difficulties are only platforms for the manifestations of His grace, power, and love.”

This quote serves as a reminder that any obstacle we face can be a chance for us to display God’s grace, miraculous power, or unconditional love. As long as we persevere and do not give up, we can use our struggles as opportunities to showcase these divine qualities.

What are your plans or aspirations for the future? What’s next for you?

On the Purposefully Living side, I am eager to expand my writing skills; currently, I’m working on projects related to marriage and a 14-day jumpstart journal.

“My faith is one of my core values. This situation taught me perseverance, trusting the process, and the importance of becoming an advocate for my unborn child.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

I’m excited about E3 Consulting Agency’s potential with my 20+ years of administrative experience, optimizing team potential, and operational efficiency. Our agency offers professional development opportunities through collaborations with various organizations: Women’s Business Centers, Academia, and Non-profits.

We recently added new classes to our roster:

1. Trailblazing in Administration.

2. What do you see: Calendaring with Vision.

3. E.L.E.V.A.T.E. (Tailored for Administrative and Executive Assistants)

4. Navigating the Onboarding Process with Ease: Overcoming Administrative Challenges.

For more information, you can e-mail Hello@E3consultingagency.com.

I am also excited to share that I coauthored a book called “Helpmeet” with some phenomenal women. The book offers valuable resources for wives who want to improve and fight for their marriage, and it’s an excellent resource for singles wanting to be married.

You can purchase it by clicking on this link: https://latrecebartley.com/product/ bookanthology-i-am-his-helpmeet/.

The Get F.I.T. Boot Camp is now accepting registration for its upcoming class, starting September 23rd. The program will run monthly for 90 minutes from September to October. You’ll experience rapid transformation

through implementation and finish the year strong.

Click here for more details. https:// txtf.co/aHFekw

That’s about it!

How do you approach helping women and girls tap into their potential?

It all begins with identity. One of my popular workshops/boot camps I teach is on identity. I emphasize the significance of recognizing and comprehending that you are God’s masterpiece, His workmanship.

Knowing your true identity in Christ is crucial as it enables you to appreciate your uniqueness, talents, and abilities. When you lack this understanding, it’s easy to be swayed by others and judge yourself unfairly.

I also teach about the power of identity to prevent compromise, competition, and the temptation to imitate others when God made you a designer’s original. Understanding who you are and the purpose for which you were created is essential to unlocking your full potential.

Can you share a success story from your coaching and mentoring endeavors?

As someone who works closely with women in high-level positions, particularly those in C-suite roles, I have observed that women tend to push themselves beyond their limits. They carry the weight of their careers and families and often forget to prioritize their well-being. Despite their

exceptional capabilities, with numerous objectives to meet and challenges to overcome, achieving balance can seem impossible.

One of my clients was no exception to these challenges. She faced family health issues and decided to resign from her position. As a high achiever, this was a challenging choice, but with my guidance, she realized she had misplaced her value in her career title.

I supported her and guided her through this decision. We set goals using the F.I.T. principle, and she prioritized herself and her family in this challenging season. I received a call from her recently, expressing her gratitude, renewed faith, and “God-confidence.” Hearing that she had achieved her goals, resumed her career, and set healthy boundaries as a mother and wife was heartwarming. It made me proud to have been a small part of her journey.

What strategies do you use to find harmony between your personal and professional life?

I make it a point to take a break every quarter, whether just a day in town or a trip out of town. This gives me the chance to relax and clear my mind. It is essential for me to prioritize my health and wellness and lead by example.

I prioritize my family over work and try to be “fully present” with them by avoiding electronic devices and constant texting. My primary focus is being a good wife and mother. I’m not perfect, but I have learned that setting healthy boundaries is essential.

“In life and work, being Focused, Intentional, and Tenacious (F.I.T.) is key to success.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Could you shed some light on the role of faith in your journey and work?

Walking by faith is a journey! My faith in Christ has grown over various seasons in my life. I integrate my faith into everything I do, regardless of the platform. My mission is to help others get Focused, Intentional, and Tenacious (F.I.T.) Getting F.I.T. often means helping women to become more spiritually and mentally F.I.T.

I didn’t walk around with a big Bible and a “Come to Jesus” T-shirt when I worked at my corporate job. Instead, people noticed the way I lived my life. Even in difficult situations, I maintained a sense of peace and joy from my faith in God. Others saw and would ask why I was not worried or stressed due to various situations. These were opportunities for me to share my faith with others.

For me, faith means putting my trust in God and having confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness. It’s what has helped me succeed in my personal and professional life.

When working with women in various settings, I come across many who have already achieved success but seek “something more.” I make it a point to understand their needs and listen to their hearts. Often, these women are feeling lonely or unfulfilled despite their achievements. They want to “Get F.I.T.” This is an opportunity to share my faith with them, whether by offering a word of encouragement or a prayer. We also set practical goals that helps them “Get F.I.T.” in their faith, too.

How do you stay motivated and continue to inspire others in your coaching role?

I reflect on my life before I found Christ and who I used to be. Before Christ, I was lost, lacked confidence, sought love in all the wrong places, and was quick to judge others. I was a complete mess! God worked on me from the inside out. When I surrendered my life to Jesus, I experienced a significant transformation and a shift in my mindset.

I realized that I had no right to judge anyone. I know what it’s like to achieve financial success, but still feel empty inside. Instead, I wanted to be a source of inspiration and hope and encourage others they could make it despite their mistakes. However, it would take getting “F.I.T.”

My motivation comes from God’s “unconditional” love for me. I also want others to experience this love, as it’s beyond comprehension.

“Adulting” is hard! I have found that my degree, money, and friends cannot bring me peace! My faith in Christ has given me hope and purpose. Despite my talents and skills, I am nothing without Christ in my life. I want to inspire other women to find this same hope and purpose by sharing my story and helping them experience success with joy and peace.

Can you elaborate on the ways you incorporate physical fitness into your coaching philosophy?

I value physical fitness and believe it is essential for overall wellness. Fitness is

more than appearance - it’s about training the mind, body, and soul. “Get F.I.T. Training,” promotes transformation from the inside out.

While many may focus solely on external appearances, I also recognize the importance of addressing inner issues. Our program promotes a disciplined lifestyle that allows you to enjoy life’s pleasures while exercising self-control. Discipline extends to all areas of life, from maintaining healthy relationships to consistent business practices, setting boundaries, and prioritizing overall health and wellness.

Life is a form of training, and we emphasize this concept in our teachings. Although it may be challenging, the hard work will ultimately lead to positive results. Our goal is to inspire women to persevere and achieve God-confidence and wholeness in their minds, bodies, and souls through the fitness journey.

YouTube Link - https://www.youtube. com/channel/UCGCGjAGbI_ jevD5HCugdwpw

Facebook link - Purposefully living -https://www.facebook.com/ purposefullylivingwithlatrecebartley

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ purposefullylive/

Linked in - www.linkedin.com/in/latrecebartley-GetFIT

E3 Consulting Agency - https:// e3consultingagency.com

Purposefully Living - Latrecebartley.com

“ I aim to encourage and inspire women to embrace their inner royalty, never forfeiting their rightful crowns.”

MONSTERS IN THE NIGHT AND THE PLASTIC BIN

Sometimes no matter how old you are, you still see the monster in the night, and for as much as you tell yourself the monster is dead and decayed, and deep within the ground - the vision of the monster - smiling in picture frames and looking back at you from the pages of a coffee table photo album - makes you want to vomit and rip your skin off at the memories the monster brings.

When you see the monster like that, you feel small, childlike and helpless; once again unable to articulate effective words that would perhaps protect you from the monster’s harm. Sadly - in the company of the one who has placed the monster on a perverted, pedestal in her heart and home – any words of defense you could possibly muster lack the power they deserve, and if spoken, would leave you feeling crazy, invalidated and unheard.

Silence and 400 miles of distance has been your greatest proven weapon, along with the understanding that when you do go back with your eyes wide open, the monster and its legacy of support will never go away. But, you were built for love, so you keep returning, hoping for a different result, and believing that the one who loves the monster would maybe one day love you, too.

The monster is my grandfather and the child molester of my youth, and this time my return back to my roots proved to be no different.

My youngest daughter Annaliese and I

CHAPTER 1

BY SANDY ARENA

were making another long trip from our home city of Rochester, New York to the New Jersey shore area where I had lived for many years before moving to upstate New York when marrying my husband Sam. This time it was for the funeral of the father of a childhood friend, and also to spend time with my mom who was at that time in her late eighties and was living alone without transportation and without regular human interaction, something she had at that point chosen for herself refusing

was also blossoming during this season, giving us reasons to travel and spend time with many we rarely saw because of the distance. The trips provided me the chance to catch up after many years of being gone, including with my Mom who was someone to whom I desperately wanted to be close. Also, I felt it important to support her during her older years and to participate in her care as much as I was able, living 400 miles away.

repeated offers from my siblings and I to live with our own families.

Annaliese and I had made this trip many times the past few years as God had opened doors for our daughter – an aspiring model - to do runway, print and digital modeling in the New Jersey/ Philadelphia and New York markets. In helping her pursue her dreams, we made the seven-hour drive back to my roots at least once a month or more, while connecting with family members. Annaliese’s budding modeling career

Annaliese was homeschooled during this time period and between that and the professional opportunities she was being afforded, it was a wonderful season for us to travel together – she doing her school in the car while preparing for her modeling jobs, and us laughing and singing show tunes at the top of our lungs while making our way through the sleepy Pine Barrens to the seashore area. It reminded me of many fond memories during my younger years traveling with my oldest daughter Alexis in the car when she was a young girl when we would make road trips to Rochester to visit Sam before we were married. Sam and I had met and fallen in love on a cruise ship in the Bahamas and dated for three years before figuring out the logistics of how to live as one, both of us working our way through broken pasts that needed God’s intervention and healing touch.

This particular trip to New Jersey for the funeral was no different, and especially in the packing department! Annaliese and I had become experts at packing since we traveled for her modeling trips so much back then. Sometimes, we would throw a lot of items in a large

plastic bin including her modeling gear, personal care items and home school books. I had always been gifted at packing, organizing and transient living having moved every year or so during my growing up years, so much so that my friends used to joke they would never write my contact information in pen in their address books – this being back before the digital age when address books and written entries were apropos. My entries always had to be in pencil, my friends noted, which really wasn’t too funny after all, because that truth left me feeling painfully different and lost because, until the time I married Sam, I had never lived in a home for more than a year or two. Deep inside, this was not the way I wanted to live as I

longed to feel loved, safe and grounded, and in a permanent place where I truly belonged. I longed to have my address written in pen in an address book like everyone else.

During this trip back home, we arrived in the mobile home park nestled in the Jersey pines where Mom now lived. The sky had settled into deep darkness in their older adult community. It took us much longer than we planned to travel the 400 miles making our way through New York, Pennsylvania and New Jersey as we made stops for coffee and snacks, and talked, sang, and laughed. Upon arrival, I pulled my white SUV into her narrow, cracked concrete driveway with the stones crackling under the tire

as I inched my way in. We tried to be quiet not to disturb the community which housed older adults and where her humble abode was located. Mom had lived in this one residence for almost a decade now, and that was a record. She applauded herself during her younger years to never stay put for too long, including when visiting her grandchildren where she called herself the “five minute grandmom” with a great sense of pride. Time and age had caught up with her now, forcing her to live in the same place for several years. Having outlived one ex-husband – my biological father - and also her second husband, she was no longer able to drive or have a car, and was barely able to walk. For the first time in her life, it

“Drifting off to a troubled sleep, I whispered to the empty dark night, “I hate you,” picturing my mother’s face.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Upon arrival, Annaliese and I grabbed our plastic bin out of the back seat and a few other items we had bought with us for our stay which was to be for about three or four days. We had the funeral to attend, and also planned to visit with family and friends and of course, the beach, even though it was during the off season time. When visiting, we would try to take a moment to at least look at the ocean to inhale the salt air and allow my beloved seashore winds to blow freely through our hair leaving masses of welcomed tangles as it refreshed our souls. I never grew weary of the seashore air and these trips gave me the chance to drink in the saltiness, something I had truly missed for the many years I had stayed away. No matter what had happened on that island and on that beach – including some of the worst childhood sexual abuse experiences I survived – the ocean still served as a beautiful reminder of that which was good during some of my childhood years while living there. Upstate New Yorkers – where I lived now - experience water life at lakes, and to me, it was never the same as the majestic ocean and its long, white, shell-strewn sandy beaches.

Annaliese and I inched our way slowly up Mom’s dark sidewalk our arms loaded, navigating through the overgrown landscape along the walkway and being careful not to bump into the lawn decorations riddling her property. I felt my body creak with intense pain from the long drive. Seven hours in the car was sometimes hard on my body, but I tried not to complain. We had made the commitment to Annaliese and to go the extra miles, so to speak,

enabling her to pursue her modeling dreams. Sam and I are like that when it comes to our kids. We purpose to be dream makers supporting them in their wildest pursuits, knowing the value of consistent effort and sacrifice to achieve their heart’s desires. There was nothing I could do given our commitment to Annaliese to avoid the body aches from driving, but to try to make the best of our time together and work through my pain. My sciatica ached from my lower back to my heel and everything seemed to be moving very slowly. I was like a tin woman waiting to be oiled, with my age in my early fifties at this time not helping the matter! I had had my children over the course of 11 years, and was 38 years old when I gave birth to Annaliese. I definitely did not feel as young and spry as I did when I made this trip years ago with my oldest Alexis when she was a young girl, and with my son Caleb when he was an infant – these being two times in our family history where we traveled the road between New Jersey and Upstate New York quite frequently. I vowed to work through the challenges for Annaliese’s sake and never say “never” giving in to the idea of limitations because of my age. I ran a marathon in honor of my 40th birthday and to this day am committed to life of healthy habits and exercise. Giving into pain when something is a bit uncomfortable is not my way.

Once I made my way down the sidewalk and across her wooden front deck, I gingerly knocked and opened the door to Mom’s home. I plastered a smile on my face, and then deeply inhaled, feeling the tension build throughout my already

aching neck and body. I never knew what to expect or what she would say in her negative, critical and condescending way. It was as if she thrived to put me down and belittle me under the guise of being a “caring” mother including, at one time, telling me I should really go back to work because one day surely my husband would leave me and then I would need to be able to financially provide for myself. Sam and I decided that I would be a stay at home mom to provide our children with a foundation of stability and nurturing, which of course took me away from my ability to earn a living in a steady, traditional sense. It had been statements like that one that have been a constant stream of negativity and destruction out of her mouth and into the depths of my soul that brought me to emotional places I had purposed to never go again when I had chosen a no contact relationship with her years prior. But here I was again – hopeful - but always on guard for the inevitable zinger that – at that time – still had the false power to bring everything crashing down.

Garnering courage, I stepped inside. Her living room was granny cluttered, and smelled of a tinge of urine mixed with her signature designer perfume. She hobbled out of the kitchen to meet us at the front door and promptly announced to us that she was sick, abruptly shooing away my attempt to greet her with a customary hug. Shaking her head and pursing her lips in disapproval, she explained that she was only protecting us from her “illness”. Truly, there was nothing in the air that would keep me

“Silence and 400 miles of distance has been your greatest proven weapon, along with the understanding that when you do go back with your eyes wide open, the monster and its legacy of support will never go away.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

from hugging her, and this instance was completely pre-COVID. I had just driven 400 miles to see her, something she would NEVER do for me, even when I lived five minutes from her. Predictably, my hope sank, and as per usual, I immediately regretted the decision to stay with her and wondered how guilt – still after all these years – fueled me into believing it was a good idea. I looked at Annaliese as she sheepishly smiled and attempted to lighten the mood with a quip. A gifted diffuser, Anna had a knack of coming up with one liners to lighten negative atmospheres. It was late, so we politely complied to keep our distance and made our way to the guest bedroom to settle in for the night.

Dragging our personal items into the guest bedroom, the battle in my mind began. In her presence, I felt ugly, unwanted, incapable, unworthy, small and disempowered: just plain hideous from the inside out. I tried to brush aside my feelings, blaming it on my exhaustion from the drive. I also tried to brush aside her behavior, blaming it on her age except knowing deep in my heart she had always been like this – abandoning me when I needed a mother most. I tried to think about my childhood friend and the loss of her father and the real reason we had made this trip which was to support her. I prayed to God to help me get through it as I sucked in more air - refusing to exhale - still with my eyes wide open.

After unpacking a bit and putting on my pajamas – the wearing of which in her presence made me feel even more vulnerable - I lied down on the double

bed in the guest room next to an already sleeping Annaliese. I attempted sleep as the perfect antidote to the emotional pain, rolling over to face the dim light coming in through the windows from the street lamps outside. When closing my eyes, I could still see an eerie light emanating through my closed eyelids, and darkness and spiritual heaviness shrouded my soul. I opened my eyes again and fought back tears, glancing around the room searching for what I knew from past experience would probably be there. As my corneas adjusted to the light, I focused in on the old, black and white framed photographs displayed along on her bureau that were nestled amongst trinkets, and piles of antique jewelry. She always switched her photos around, her way of passive aggressively communicating her affections to some, and her intentions to withhold affections to others. Your photo on her refrigerator meant something, as did the placement – with top people being displayed up top and the bottom dwellers aptly at the bottom. There were always very few photos of me and I was always a bottom dweller in placement, something I had accepted as a family member who was told she was unwanted by her parents from the day she was born.

Honing in through the displays, I saw him, even in the dimness, and my heart sank to a familiar place and began to beat wildly pulsating into my throat attempting to choke out my breath. It was the monster and molester of my past, my grandfather: disgusting to the core, smirking back at me. His presence enveloped me and my skin began to crawl. I could feel evil in the air. Predictably,

she had created a special show just for me with her photo displays so I would understand that the memory of him and the family she idealized was more important to her than the daughter he ruthlessly groomed and sexually abused. Laying there - defeated and deflated – and feeling like a foolish child going back to the hell from which she came, I choked back tears and tried to rid my mind and body of the thoughts and skin memories his image provoked. Drifting off to a troubled sleep, I whispered to the empty dark night, “I hate you,” picturing my mother’s face. “And, I hate you, too,” I said to the photographs, willing away the feelings of his shaking hands that had once ravaged my innocent body. I asked God to forgive me for my hatred and release me from the freshly inflicted pain that had become so familiar over the years, and pain that for some reason to which I kept returning.

I managed to sleep through the night and woke up the next morning still feeling exhausted and unsure of myself and the mess I continued to create when agreeing to stay with her, as if my will to have a secure mother/daughter relationship would miraculously fix all that was wrong. Annaliese was still asleep, so I slid out of bed and tip-toed out towards the kitchen in search of coffee. I didn’t want to awaken Mom. These days, she slept on the sofa in her living room with sounds from her television blaring throughout her threadbare walls all through the night. Her propensity to watch trashy television shows or charismatic prophets all night long, made it sometimes difficult for me to fall asleep when staying with her. But I

“Deep inside, this was not the way I wanted to live as I longed to feel loved, safe and grounded, and in a permanent place where I truly belonged. ”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

I never said anything, unable to truthfully advocate for my own needs while in her presence, and too polite to ask. I glanced into the living room, and noticed that her couch - piled high with blankets and pillows - was empty, except for being a bed to her overweight, mild mannered shiatzu Mikey who glanced sideways at me, not bothering to lift his head. Mom, it turned out, was already awake and was in the kitchen, attempting to feebly take the trash out of the kitchen wastebasket.

“Let me help you,” I quickly offered scurrying towards her, putting my hand on the bag to help. Part of the reason I wanted to be there, after all, was that I wanted to help care for her, feeling it my duty as she was approaching age 90. Mom abruptly snapped the bag away from me and barked my way - nary a symptom of illness noticeable. “Nope: don’t touch that. I’m sick. I don’t want you to get my germs,” she declared. I stepped back away, startled and speechless as she narrowed her eyes towards me.

“You know. Carol next door said you and I aren’t close because you didn’t live with me the first year of your life.” She then shrugged her shoulders and looked away, as if she didn’t care to further discuss the trauma bomb she had just dropped on me. I knew I didn’t live with her that first year of my life as an infant, but I had not put much thought into it at that time. I thought I was good with all of that, especially after believing her story she liked to tell where I reached my arms out for her when finally reunited at age one, apparently knowing deep inside she was my mother and the one

I truly wanted. That was all according to her, and I wonder now at the truth of that narrative. Did I really reach for her, or did she remember it that way as a narcissistic fairy tale unable to accept the truth that we were strangers, me living with relatives and friends the first year of my life.

Dumbfounded and feeling my heart rate rise again and my cheeks flush, I walked back into the bedroom. My head was reeling and my heart was pounding as I wondered to myself why I remained enslaved to my past and the attacks from her, even though I was a grown, adult woman. I fought back tears as I gently shook Annaliese awake so we could get ready for the funeral and get the heck out of there for a few hours which we did while we visited with friends from years gone by and paid our respects to my friend’s father. I had always looked to my friends while growing up and to the security of school - those being people and places that grounded a very broken, mask-wearing, people-pleasing me. This time was no different. After a few hours, we returned back to her home later in the afternoon where she –looking like the picture of health – met us at the door and promptly told us that we had to leave because she was sick. We were no longer welcome to stay at her house. She said it matter-of-factly and definitively. ‘You need to leave,” she said.

Are you kidding me?

What happened next is what I call my silent T.T.R.R.E.E. – Trauma. Tears. Rage. Reaction. Exit. Exhaustion. It’s the

repeated trauma behavioral response I had perfected throughout my childhood years and continued into adulthood. Getting kicked out of her house with my innocent teenage daughter there to see evoked more hatred in my heart than my body could hold, and the silent T.T.R.R.E.E. came upon me. I was immediately transported back and became the girl without a home, the orphan – the unstable one whose friends needed a pencil – not a pen –to write her address into their address books. I fought back tears and allowed the trauma to overtake my body in order to accomplish supernatural, survival action aimed at exiting and getting as far away as possible from her that my car, resources and energy could take me. I rushed into the bedroom throwing our belongings back into the plastic bin. Silently enraged and on autopilot mode, I did as I was told and let my harsh movements speak. The expert packer I was reared to be as the girl who moved every year, I cleared the space in five minutes, and made my way out of her house refusing to let her see me cry, shamefully carrying my plastic box to my next destination. She didn’t blink an eye and waved goodbye pleasantly smiling at us from the deck. She told me she loved me and she was doing this for our own good with a sickeningly, sweet smile plastered on her face. She had me right where she wanted me and it was if she was feeding off the scene that she deemed “heroic” and that somehow managed to inflate her sense of motherhood as the one who was “only” deeply caring for the wellbeing of her daughter and granddaughter. It was mindboggling and disheartening all

“Time and age had caught up with her now, forcing her to live in the same place for several years.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

at once, especially because I had lived with games like this with her for as long as I can remember.

Driving away from her as my adrenaline finally began to decrease, I allowed myself to exhale and cried the entire seven-hour drive back to Rochester while Annaliese slept on and off, doing her best to comfort me having also experienced for herself a level of grief, abandonment and rejection she didn’t fully understand. My best friend Sherry, who lived only a few miles from my mother, had offered for us to stay with her, but I needed my 400 miles of space which at that point didn’t even seem far enough away to create my safety net. I continued to weep, struggling to erase the picture of myself walking rejected out of her house, feeling forever the unwanted orphan, carrying my plastic

bin back to my car which had always been my safe haven as a way for me to pop from place to place looking for a home or family to which I belonged. At the worst of it, was how this affected Annaliese and that she witnessed it. My greatest joy and calling in life was family and motherhood, and her actions towards me and Annaliese were unimaginable and I felt guilty for willingly allowing my daughter to step into the dysfunction. I so wanted it to be different and kept trying to have the extended family I thought I deserved, and my children deserved, too. I called Sam and asked him to wait up for us as we would be arriving back in Rochester long after midnight. He had unfortunately been through this with me and my family many times before.

Upon our arrival home, I fell safely into

his arms where he patiently held me while I sobbed and heaved and literally vomited out my pain. God carried me home to Sam who stood as an earthly reminder of God’s character that would sooth me during these orphan moments. “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” Ephesians 1:5

In the midst of this pain and trying to rid myself of feelings of abandonment, rejection and depression, I forced myself to meditate on God’s word and be thankful for the family and husband God had given me. Eventually I cried myself to sleep believing in God’s other promise for us, and that is that tears will last for the night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5.

“Upstate New Yorkers – where I lived now - experience water life at lakes, and to me, it was never the same as the majestic ocean and its long, white, shell-strewn sandy beaches.”

MEET CHRIS & HOLLY Owners of the Pittsford Upstairs Gallery

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

What motivated you to establish the Pittsford Upstairs Gallery as a nonprofit community arts organization, showcasing 21 diverse artists and mediums?

We are interested in promoting local art and artists. The Rochester area is well known for outstanding fine craft and a rich history of providing artists with the opportunity to showcase that work in festivals. However, there is a limited opportunity for showcasing that work year round, Pittsford Upstairs Gallery provides that unique. The fine art gallery downstairs at our location, a coop of now 23 artists, represents fine art painting and drawing. UPSTAIRS we chose to focus on fine craft to complement that work, making this one location very unique.

Could you share a bit about your background that influenced your decision to create this gallery, especially as a husband and wife duo?

Holly and I are both former K-12 educators who appreciate art and artistic expression. Holly trained as a music educator at Nazareth, and taught high school music for a decade before moving into school administration and then working in higher education. Chris was an English major and teacher and school and district administrator, but always painted as a hobby. In his retirement he and Holly started the Pittsford Fine Art co-op as a means of displaying his work on a routine basis. We started that co-op with 11 members and now have 23. When the space upstairs in the same building became available, we decided

to expand what we were able to do beyond the confines of a democratically organized co-op, so we could focus on some different opportunities to collect artists and their artwork both in craft work, and with Guest Artists from the community and student artwork. The student artwork in particular allows us to return to our teaching roots.

What are your preferred artistic mediums and artists to collaborate

craft fairs like Corn Hill and Clothesline and invited them to share a gallery space open every weekend under one roof, rain or shine. We like to say there’s a fine craft fair every weekend in UPSTAIRS Pittsford.

Can you tell us about the upcoming artists scheduled for the First Friday exhibitions?

with in the gallery?

The Pittsford UPSTAIRS Gallery focuses on fine craft. In that effort we;ve deliberately sought out artists whose work represents a broad spectrum of craft work. We have woodworkers, and multiple stained glass artists, along with a fused glass artist, a metal worker, a leatherworker, handmade jewelry makers, bird and wildlife carvers, a collage artist, a tapestry weaver, a felter, a sting artist and an acrylic pour artist.. We’ve collected these artists from local

This fall we will feature a different artist at each of our First Friday events. In September Ukrainian refugee string artist Anna Pankova, now living in Hilton, will give a live demo of her technique and have a special collection of her work on display. In October we welcome our third Guest Artist of the year, Samantha Nolte-Yupari, an art professor at Nazareth and a practicing watercolorist. In November, our newest member artis, Kay Lewicke, a leatherworker from Fairport will do a live demo of her preparation of Heritage Leather products she markets under the brand Persistence Goods. And in December, retired art teacher and current instructor of weaving at the Weavers’ Guild, Mary McMahon will do a live demo using a portable loom. We are proud to showcase these women and their work this Fall, on First Fridays from 5-8 PM, and encourage the public to come meet them and see their work.

How do you actively engage the local community to participate in your gallery’s activities?

We use a three prong approach to community engagement with our gallery. First, we feature only local

“One of the things that differentiates our gallery from many other art or craft venues in the area is that we’ve cultivated relationships exclusively with local artists and artisans.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

artists and their work. These are the same people who show at local arts and craft festivals, except that they are the LOCAL: participants. These are the friends and neighbors of our Rochester community members, who happen to make art. Secondly, we invite a Guest Artist to show their work with us in a three-month residency. We feel the Guest Artist, also local, brings in a slightly different clientele, and adds color and diversity to what we offer. Our first Guest Artist last Fall was Luvon Sheppard, an art professor from RIT. Our current Guest Artist is Kelly Hanning, an adjunct professor at Nazareth and an elementary art teacher at Gates-Chili.

We think showing the artwork of local college art professors in an off-campus setting is another way to engage our incredibly culturally rich community. And lastly, we reserve our Community Room for displaying student artwork from area school districts. We have had great success in showcasing student work from Pittsford and Brighton so far, and look to expand that success with other area schools.

Are all the featured artists in your gallery local talents?

Absolutely. One of the things that differentiates our gallery from many other art or craft venues in the area is that we’ve cultivated relationships exclusively with local artists and artisans. It’s one of the criteria upon which we insist.

Could you share a memorable example of an artist or artwork that made your gallery stand out?

It’s hard to identify any one of our artists as a stand-out in terms of defining our

gallery. Each of them is unique and uniquely talented and their work is truly one-of-a-kind. What stands out is that we have individually solicited these artists because of their outstanding commitment to the production of high quality, fine craftsmanship.

What future plans do you have for the Pittsford Upstairs Gallery?

We have applied for 501(x)3 status as a non-profit community arts organization which would allow us to apply for grant funding for overhead and special projects. We have been very impressed with the sorts of community involved programming that we would be able to do under this model and still market our artists work. We envision classes and events that are currently beyond our capacity. Our goal is to make 4 North Main Street the heART of Pittsford Village.

How do you effectively promote and raise awareness about your gallery’s exhibitions and events?

We have a Square website, on which potential customers can see all the items we have in stock and make purchases. We also promote with daily Facebook and Instgram posts featuring our artists and their work. Additionally, we participate with RoCo and First Friday Rochester to make sure our artists work and demos are featured through their networking We’re excited to explore additional opportunities with Rochester Woman, as our demographic seems to match well.

Which type of artists tend to inspire you the most and why?

We find inspiration in the creative process people use, whether its collage or fused glass, or finely crafted wood or

leather. Some of our most interesting artwork is made with a social or ecological focus. Jerry Alonzo, for example, is a retired judge, and a number of his wood sculptures reflect his interest in justice, while Dave Pascucci specializes in using only recycled materials in constructing his metal and (sometimes)wood pieces, and Kay Lewicke’s makes leather that is heirloom quality so less leather is actually needed to fulfill consumer demand. Art with a social conscience is of particular interest to us, as is art with a function. A bowl can be artfully made, and practical as well as beautiful. That’s a part of what fine craft is about.

How do you select the artists you feature on the First Friday of each month? We are committed to highlighting all of our artists in this way and providing the public with the opportunity to get to know each artist in-depth through First Friday events.

Could you highlight any distinctive or unique aspects of the gallery’s layout or design?

We found the UPSTAIRS space delightfully open and airy when our landlord first showed it to us and we’ve deliberately tried to keep it that way. We use glass display shelving and we’ve kept the large windows unencumbered with anything but art. The gallery has high ceilings and large expanses of glass, including a skylight, and we try to fill the space with light so that every art object in it can be enjoyed on its own merits. We’ve tried not to overcrowd anyone’s work, and we allow our artists to share their preference on if their work should be grouped in one space or spread across the gallery, depending on how it best shows.

“We find inspiration in the creative process people use, whether its collage or fused glass, or finely crafted wood or leather. Some of our most interesting artwork is made with a social or ecological focus.”

“And we think we’ve become a bit of a destination site for some of our local First Friday fans who frequent our demos and Guest Artist openings.”

What impact has the gallery had on the local art scene and community since its inception?

We opened the UPSTAIRS Gallery specifically to complement the work on display of Pittsford Fine art, located downstairs, which focuses on fine art from 2-D artists that work in oli, acrylic, watercolor , pastels and ink/charcoal who are members. Pittsford Upstairs Gallery has allowed us to have a multiplying effect of the work on display downstairs. We now have 45 LOCAL artists wokring in a variety of art forms showing their work under one roof at 4 North Main Street in Pittsford. That’s pretty impressive in terms of impact on both the art and the Pittsford Community.

Can you share any success stories or achievements that the gallery has accomplished over time?

We feel good about a number of accomplishments. Our Community Room summer show for example, allowed a recent Pittsford grad an opportunity for her first solo show, at which she sold eight pieces! Our first Guest Artist, Luvon Sheppard, lives in Pittsford and has taught at RIT for more than 50 years and we were incredibly grateful for his participation. And we think we’ve become a bit of a destination site for some of our local First Friday fans who frequent our demos and Guest Artist openings. We are always thrilled to see visitors take home a one of a kind piece by our gallery artists! Our goal is to be place where the public can see and purchase unique art and craft work of high quality at reasonable prices, through which they can support LOCAL practicing artists and artisans.

What role does collaboration and networking play in the growth and sustainability of the Pittsford Upstairs Gallery?

The Rochester region has a rich history of creative activities and being part of that network or art and artists is important to us, We choose to make locality a factor in what we show, we choose to celebrate our local artists and artisans, and to encourage their success at our gallery and through other local venues. And we choose to network with like minded individuals and groups, whether those are the artists downstairs, at local arts festivals, or across town. Networking with other artists and galleries keeps us fresh and well-informed and it helps us bring our potential customers the best in local hand-crafted art and art objects.

BEAD BUDDIES BY SOFIA

How did you come up with the idea for Bead Buddies by Sofia?

While my mom and I were feeding the homeless, I met this really cool guy, Sully, and he gave me a broach that he made by hand. It made me really happy, so I decided I wanted to make him a bracelet to say thank you. After that I told my mom I wanted to make lots of bracelets and hand them out when we feed the homeless so everyone can be happy!

What motivated you to start your own business as a seven-year-old entrepreneur?

I decided to take my bracelet making the business route when I met Wendy, the owner of Healthy Highways, and I loved hearing about her “REV” program. After getting my DBA we were able to partner together, and now every child that receives a “REV” pillow also receives one of my Bead Buddies bracelets with a cute paw print charm!

Gabrielle (Sofia’s Mom), what role do you play in supporting this littlest influencers goals?

Having your seven year old start a business is a wild ride for sure, but one that I always do my best to support and encourage her on, through all the ups and downs. She makes all the creative business decisions, and I then support her in making those

visions come alive. It’s been amazing to watch her kind of come out of her shell and start accomplishing all these amazing things, and just spread so many smiles!

Were there any challenges you faced when starting Bead Buddies, and

keep buying supplies. I started to overcome this challenge when my family, and my new friends, like Kelly and Nelly, heard about my business and donated money for supplies. This helped a lot because I was able to get beads for bracelets to sell, to help fund the bracelets I pass out for free.

Who has been the biggest influence or role model in your entrepreneurial journey so far?

My biggest role model is Kelly because she is always super supportive of me and my business, and I love doing live streams with her ��

What do you hope to achieve with your business in the next few years?

I eventually want to expand my business to include other types of jewelry like necklaces, and I also plan on finding more ways to help animals.

How do you balance your schoolwork and managing your business at the same time?

how did you overcome them? When I first started my business, I was working with one bracelet making kit I had gotten for Christmas, and since the bracelets are always free when my mom and I feed the homeless, I wasn’t making money to be able to

I haven’t had to do this yet, because I just started my business over the Summer, but school starts this week, so I’m hoping I still don’t get any homework in Second Grade.

Could you share a little about the creative process you go through when designing new bead creations?

“After that I told my mom I wanted to make lots of bracelets and hand them out when we feed the homeless so everyone can be happy!”

I start by picturing what I want the bracelet to look like in my head, and then look at all my beads and use whatever ones catch my eye for that idea. Once I have all the beads, I want to use for that bracelet I kind of just go with the flow.

What advice would you give to other kids who want to start their own businesses?

I would tell them to do something they love and just go for it!

Are there any specific causes or charities that you support through your business? How do you choose them?

I just started sponsoring the Saipan Humane Society, because I love dogs and love what they do! My hope is to also be able to sponsor the “Boonie Flight Project” so I can help as many dogs as I can ��

What do you enjoy most about being an entrepreneur and running Bead Buddies?

I like being able to make people smile by doing something I love!

What activities do you enjoy when you aren’t making your beautiful bracelets?

When I’m not making bracelets, I like playing video games like Minecraft

and Roblox, playing outside on my swing, and riding my scooter when my family and I go for walks.

Looking ahead, do you have any big plans or exciting projects in store for Bead Buddies by Sofia? Stay tuned!

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“My biggest role model is Kelly because she is always super supportive of me and my business, and I love doing live streams with her ��”

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

MEET NICOLE DOYLEY

“Sometimes we choose our calling and sometimes our calling chooses us. Raising awareness about racial justice and racial identity is a calling that chose me.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Can you share a bit about your background and what inspired you to become an author and speaker? I have always been comfortable in front of audiences. Growing up, I wanted to be a concert pianist and loved playing in recitals; I got a little nervous, but then settled in and felt at home.

In high school I also fell in love with words. I had a fantastic English teacher who brought Shakespeare and Chaucer and Jane Austen to life. I remember going to and from high school on the F train in NYC and reading my homework assignments. I’d carry a little pocket dictionary and look up words I didn’t know. Then I’d chew on them like a delicious morsel and try to use them. Words to me are like colors for an artist. Finding the right word to express an idea is like finding the right color; it’s challenging and it’s very satisfying.

In adulthood I realized I didn’t want to pursue music professionally after all, so I went to a liberal arts college, majored in English, and learned how to write. Afterwards, I went into full time ministry and got to travel, speaking in conferences and I also gave a lot of Sunday sermons and wrote my first book.

I am a communicator; when I was younger, I communicated through music and now it’s through written and spoken words.

Your work often involves discussing race, attitudes, and assumptions. How did you become passionate about these topics?

Sometimes we choose our calling and sometimes our calling chooses us. Raising awareness about racial justice and racial identity is a calling that chose me.

I am biracial and that was the source of a lot of angst growing up. My Black

still was and is and I became passionate about that and wrote about that.

Then I married my very dark, handsome Black husband and have two Black sons. My sons have experienced so much racism that it has been very painful to deal with. They have felt it in school, from teachers and kids. They have experienced racial bias in doctors’ offices, summer camps and other places. We’ve had to guide them through news like what happened to Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown, and then Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd and all the others who were killed in the last ten years… We’ve had The Talk with them since they were little: how to deal with being profiled and stay safe if they are ever stopped by the police. In other words, we have had to deal with what every Black parent in America has dealt with and it is infuriating and scary.

the white world either. So, I kind of wandered around a no-man’s land of racelessness for a lot of my child and young adulthood. I didn’t know who I was.

Then in college and post-college I made Black friends who accepted me for me, and I also began to read: Langton Hughes, Booker T Washington, Frederick Douglass, Malcolm X, Sojourner Truth: where had these people been all my life? Also, being in church ministry I saw how segregated the church world

In 2020, right before Covid, I resigned from my job to write another book about race. Then Covid hit and my kids were home, so I didn’t have the bandwidth at the time to dive into writing a book, but I did have the capacity to start my podcast, Let’s Talk: conversations on race. I’ve always been interested in broadcast, and I love talking to interesting people. So, the podcast came naturally.

When addressing diversity, what approach do you take to challenge and reshape people’s perspectives?

I have been told that I am disarming;

“I have been told that I am disarming; that my voice and approach put people at ease and make it easier to hear tough things. If that is true, I’m glad for it!”

“To raise awareness and address the elephant in the middle of the room (Why don’t Black people, as a whole, have as much wealth as white people? What created the inner-city? Why is Black History Month still necessary? Etc etc).”

that my voice and approach put people at ease and make it easier to hear tough things. If that is true, I’m glad for it! I think being biracial helps. I am very comfortable with white and Black people and my goal is never to make white people feel ashamed of our country’s past, but I do want them to be aware of it and realize that we have to know the past in order to understand the present and fix problems, and also to deal with any self-righteousness or attitudes of superiority. Knowing the past is basic. Things don’t happen in a vacuum. We’ve all been shaped by our past, and so has our country.

In your blog posts and podcast discussions, what specific goals do you have for the conversations you initiate?

To raise awareness and address the elephant in the middle of the room (Why don’t Black people, as a whole, have as much wealth as white people? What created the inner-city? Why is Black History Month still necessary? Etc etc).

Adults didn’t learn this stuff in school and kids aren’t learning it in school. Parents have to be aware so that they can educate their kids, and by parents, I mean all parents: Black, white and everyone in between.

So my goal is understanding, and also empathy. There’s a false belief that if we don’t talk about something, it will go away. But that is rarely the case. There’s a principal in the Bible that tells us to face the truth in our inward parts, bring things to light, don’t hide in white-washed sepulchers. I think that principal is true universally.

Lastly, if our country is great, it is great because of the contributions of a vast array of people, of all colors and ethnic backgrounds. We will all be better if we acknowledge that and also if we de-segregate our lives, widen our social circles and learn from a diverse group of friends and co-workers. Living in a cultural silo is as boring as it is dangerous.

Could you tell us about the types of books you’ve written and how they contribute to the discussions about race and diversity?

My first book was about racial unity in the church. I talked about why “11:00 Sunday morning is still the most segregated hour” – as Dr. King stated. Also, why that’s unfortunate and what we can do about it. My second and third books were unrelated to race, and now I’m writing a parenting book about raising multiracial children.

What was the driving force behind starting the “Let’s Talk” podcasts, and what have you aimed to achieve through this platform?

I kind of talked about this but encouraging conversation and understanding which I believe will help the racial healing process. Individually and as a nation, we are so broken when it comes to race.

What range of topics do you typically cover in your podcast discussions?

Oh gosh, I’ve talked about so many things.

- Racial bias in the criminal justice system

- Racial bias in the health care and child welfare systems

- Cultural Appropriation

- Inner-city struggles and a better way forward

- The dangers of gentrification

- HBCUs (Historically Black Colleges and Universities)

- The future of the multicultural church

- Protests and rioting

- Raising Black kids in majority white neighborhoods…

I’ve produced over a hundred episodes and interviewed so many interesting folks; it’s been an amazing opportunity and privilege to learn from so many super smart, thoughtful people.

I noticed you have a background in classical piano and attended a performing arts high school. What prompted your transition from music to literature and history?

Going to Performing Arts was amazing (and yes, in some ways it was like Fame – just no dancing on the tables!), but by my senior year, I was burned out. I was practicing over three hours a day and realized that if I went to Julliard or something, that would have to double. At the same time, I had fantastic English and history teachers who brought literature and history to life. I realized that to be a professional musician, music would have to be my singular focus and I wanted to study other things. Going to Performing Arts and being surrounded by incredible musicians, I also realized I wasn’t talented enough. They had more natural talent and they also had more focus. I knew I couldn’t compete with folks like that.

My English teacher also encouraged me to apply for Dartmouth, and that was a watershed moment for me.

What motivated you to pursue a career in ministry alongside your work as an author and speaker?

“Every parent has to decide how to prioritize family, physical mental health, and all the other things in our lives, including working and making money”

“

It’s also been hard talking about systemic and CULTURAL RACISM; that racism is not just an individual ill, but it is like POLLUTION in water, or as Dr. Beverly Tatum puts it, smog in the AIR.”

By my senior year in college, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I did know that I didn’t want to work for a company that I didn’t care about. I also knew that I did care about the church and the mission of the church to introduce people to a loving God. God had changed my life and I wanted that for others, too.

Out of all the places you’ve traveled, which one stands out as your favorite, and what makes it special to you?

Gosh, I got to go to so many interesting places through the years, but I’ll just mention a few year. I remember being in a church in Kenya and watching the choir process into the church. It felt so much like the Gospel choir I had been a part of, and I realized, this is where it all came from. The sounds and the movement of Gospel music (and also Jazz) – it all had African roots. I fell in love with my people there.

More recently, I loved going to Barcelona, Spain with my family. We didn’t want to leave! The tapas on the street, the art, the beach. It’s a great city. And since my husband is Jamaican and his family is there, we go to Jamaica fairly frequently. My boys love the food, basking in the attention of extending family and hearing their stories. They used to struggle understanding them through the patois and now their ears get tuned to it within a few hours of being there. It’s a beautiful thing!

Balancing a career and family can be challenging. Could you share some insights into how you manage this juggling act?

As I mentioned, I resigned from my job in 2020 (just in time for the shut-

down!), to write a book. At the time, I only worked part-time job, but it really required my brain fulltime, and I didn’t have any creative energy left when I got home. I realized that I was not getting any younger and it was time to focus on what I was passionate about. Also, my husband became the Chair of his department at University of Rochester, and I knew he’d be busier and traveling more and I wanted to be the anchor at home. I think it’s important to know that I didn’t marry until I was 40, so I had worked for 20 years before starting a family. And in 2020 I realized that I had precious little time left with my boys until they went to college, and I wanted to enjoy them and not begrudge the time and attention that they required. Given all the things they’ve experienced in school, it has been really good for me to be home when they get home, and the stories are fresh on their minds.

Every parent has to decide how to prioritize family, physical mental health, and all the other things in our lives, including working and making money! Resigning and working from home was the best decision for me and I’m grateful that I was able to do it.

Conversations about race can be difficult. In your experience, what’s been the most challenging topic to address in your work?

I did some consulting work for a small company, and it was evident that pretty much all the mangers had grown up in homogenous communities, gone to college and then settled back in homogenous communities; they had never known a person of color on a deep level. And yet they were convinced that diversity is important, and they

wanted to know how to attract more BIPOC job applicants. They knew on an intellectual level that they wanted this, but their lived experience had been so segregated, that there was so much foundational understanding missing. I have also found that when speaking with school staff and church leaders.

It’s also been hard talking about systemic and cultural racism; that racism is not just an individual ill, but it is like pollution in water, or as Dr. Beverly Tatum puts it, smog in the air. As a nation, we need the will to change individually and institutionally.

What exciting plans do you have for your future projects and initiatives? Well, I’ve just been offered a contract from a publisher to write my book about raising mixed-race kids; so that’s exciting! I also plan to do a whole podcast season on being mixed-race and I hope to get some well-known biracial people on it. I’ll be teaching an online course about raising mixed kids and another course about talking to kids about race in general – among other things. So, lots going on!

How do you ensure that the conversations you spark in your work lead to meaningful and lasting change?

I can’t really ensure that, unfortunately. I can sow seeds and water them, when possible, but at the end of the day, people have to want to see and change.

As someone who discusses race and diversity, what advice would you offer to individuals looking to educate themselves and become allies?

Read, read, read! Also, watch the hard movies: the ones about trauma and

“As a nation, we need the will to change individually and institutionally.”

also the ones about triumph. Find out why America is still so segregated and determine not to live a segregated life. I did a podcast episode about making diverse friendships, and I put together a list of books, movies and articles here.

Can you share a personal anecdote about a particularly impactful conversation you’ve had on your podcast?

Gosh, as I’ve mentioned, I’ve had so many poignant conversations. All of my guests have been brilliant people. There are a few that pop to mind instantly: I talked with Dr. Ashley Cross about racial bias in the child welfare system. She leads an organization that empowers kids in foster care, and she talked about some of the realities of poverty and the stress and hopelessness that often result. She also discussed the fact that Black children are removed from the home a higher rate than white children, but

that is not because Black kids are abused or neglected more, rather it is because of the racial biases of teachers, doctors, neighbors and other adults who call CPS in the first place. I also loved my conversation with Dr. LaShunda LeslieSmith about inner city struggles and a way forward. She talked about help that lifts up poor communities as opposed to selfish solutions or toxic charity. And finally, my conversation with my husband, Dr. Marvin Doyley. He talked about the strength and grounding he has having grown up in a Black nation (Jamaica), free from cultural racism which is like smog in the air here. His teachers were Black, his doctors were black, the police were Black, the prime minister was Black; everyone in authority was Black and that gave such a secure, stable sense of self that we hope to somehow impart to our kids, even though they are growing up here. Then there were my talks with John Bradley, Esq, about

racial bias in the criminal justice system and voter suppression. Really, I have loved every single conversation!

Lastly, what legacy do you hope to leave through your work as an author, speaker, and podcast host?

I hope to be a trusted voice of change. I hope that people who read my stuff and listen to my talks or podcast will be convinced that racism is absurd, that the idea that one people group is genetically superior to another is ridiculous, toxic and has led to incalculable harm. I hope that parents, teachers, employers, and leaders will become dissatisfied with monoracial communities and come to the know the beauty of every color and ethnic group dwelling around them, and I hope that the Christians will truly know that we are all the imago Dei, that is: we’ve all been created in the image of God, equally loved and equally special.

“I hope to be a trusted voice of change.”

DEFINING LONGEVITY

Navigating the Shifting Demographics: The Urgency of Healthspan Optimization

BY LISA IRELAND

“While modern medicine boasts remarkable achievements, it also exposes a critical flaw: its inclination toward repairing and reversing ailments triggered by biological aging rather than prioritizing prediction and early intervention. “

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Recently, a particular topic started to surface in my conversations. Many people in my social and professional circles started displaying unease about global and US population aging population trends. It could be a series of synchronicities, or perhaps it is my work that makes such conversations spark up around me. Nonetheless, it made me think of how our outlook on humanity’s near future has changed in recent years. Previously, worries centered predominantly around overpopulation growth: a rising number of humans confronted with dwindling resources, leading to potential technological, environmental, and societal upheavals. Such a view is certainly not baseless: it took a mere 12 years for Earth’s population to surge from 7 to 8 billion. However, with the growth rates steadily going down, a global concern around human overpopulation is taking the second stage to another dilemma. A different, equally disconcerting, and very real scenario has been permeating the minds of the scientific community: one where age-associated illnesses keep sidelining a big segment of humanity and burdening the economy sustained by a diminishing pool of young and healthy individuals. The focal point has shifted - it now lies in population aging, which, coupled with the lack of healthy aging, emerges as our paramount demographic issue.

This trend is painted by two pivotal factors: a significant decline in fertility rates across many regions and a rising human life expectancy. The imperative for addressing this new demographic reality is underscored best by numbers. UN data flags a surge in countries experiencing annual population decline, as their number is expected to more than double by 2050. By the same year, the share of the global population over 60 is also expected to

witness a two-fold increase (relative to 2022 stats).

In their 2021 publication in Lancet

Healthy Longevity, Ataguba, Bloom, and Scott underscored the escalating proportion of those over 65. In 1950, the global population below 15 years old outweighed those above 65 by a factor of seven; however, projections for 2050 anticipate these two demographics reaching equilibrium. Another prediction identifies 2073 as an important milestone, marking the point when the population

us navigate the intricacies of the issue. As of 2023, the US, a cornerstone of the world economy, shoulders a national debt exceeding 32 trillion USD. This figure stood at 15.5 trillion dollars in 2012. A substantial portion of this increase can be attributed to extended life expectancythose of us beyond 65 normally draw on social security, medicare, and Medicaid, without contributing to the economy at the same magnitude as our younger counterparts. The trajectory points to the US national debt crossing the 40 trillion threshold by 2025, thus “urging us to increase productive longevity,” as Dr. Zhavoronkov puts it.

But why such strain on healthcare?

aged 65+ surpasses the number of those aged below 15 years old for the first time. The impending “silver tsunami” looms large, demanding our attention toward the health concerns accompanying our aging journey.

We need to be realistic about the economic impact longer lives and declining birth rates produce. The observations of Dr. Alex Zhavoronkov, a renowned biotech and longevity researcher and a member of our Scientific Advisory Board, can help

The increase in people falling in the 60+ category invariably ushers in a surge of age-related ailments, from Alzheimer’s to atherosclerosis and glaucoma. Elevated life expectancy did not go hand in hand with elevated levels of healthy longevity, instead creating a large cohort of aged patients grappling with one or more chronic conditions. Currently, the majority of our older compatriots bear the weight of at least one chronic illness, and nearly half of all elders in the US grapple with two or more. It is easy to see how the treatment of these diseases is putting growing pressure on the American healthcare system.

Solution.

Our remedy lies in extending healthspan (i.e., “adding life to our years”) and, consequently, productive longevity. This approach ensures we age gracefully and remain unburdened by the hardships of age-related illnesses.

Achieving long and healthy lives will require us to rethink the way our health

“Scientific exploration is the backbone of all innovation. Some of the most incredible discoveries happen at the level of fundamental research.”

aproviders operate. While modern medicine boasts remarkable achievements, it also exposes a critical flaw: its inclination toward repairing and reversing ailments triggered by biological aging rather than prioritizing prediction and early intervention. This is where the field of longevity medicine comes into play. Spearheaded by trailblazers such as Dr. Evelyne Bischof, Dr. Andrea Maier, and Dr. Alex Zhavoronkov, members of the Longevity Science Foundation’s Scientific Board, this methodology introduces powerful diagnostic tools and an AI-driven approach, igniting a new paradigm in healthcare. This transformation will shift us from reactive treatments to personalized care, proactive prevention, and prediction.

Dr. Zhavoronkov develops this argument a step further and reasons that contemporary medicine fights consequences, or rather, symptoms of what appears to be a larger problem - biological aging itself. Alex is among many who call for biological aging to be classified as a disease, urging us to direct our attention towards solving the very mechanisms that bring about loss of

function and compromise homeostasis. While such a prospect may seem distant, each one of us can already adopt a similar perspective and start addressing our biological aging - the fundamental trigger of all aging-associated pathologies - with a healthy lifestyle and regular diagnostics.

Another element that may change the future healthcare landscape is the introduction of new therapies and interventions. The horizon holds promise for geroprotectors - one of the fruits of longevity research. However, cautious discernment is imperative when it comes to personal choices. Instances of people engaging in self-administration of gero-suppressants without proper guidance or genuine need are not uncommon. More often than not, such self-medication yields counterproductive results, even causing individuals to inadvertently elevate their biological age instead of diminishing it. Stay diligent and consult your physician before embracing novel substances.

Tackling issues as complex as biological

aging takes a tremendous amount of effort. We are privileged to have a community of like-minded enthusiasts who understand the implications of global population aging. Our peers worldwide work hard to empower us with the possibility of aging gracefully, free of crippling illness. Longevity scientists put their efforts into bringing new therapies, interventions, and diagnostics out of the laboratories and into the real world.

Scientific exploration is the backbone of all innovation. Some of the most incredible discoveries happen at the level of fundamental research. However, many of the luminaries conducting said research struggle to acquire non-dilutive, earlystage funds and are, therefore, unable to transform their findings into real-world applications. We invite you to support their work with the Longevity Science Foundation. Together, we can protect ourselves and our loved ones from the pain of age-related ailments and grant us a chance of staying productive, healthy, and strong.

“Tackling issues as complex as biological aging takes a tremendous amount of effort. We are privileged to have a community of like-minded enthusiasts who understand the implications of global population aging.”

GOOD PEOPLE DESERVE WINS TOO.

OUR MISSION

GPDW2 is a non-profit organization that provides financial assistance to under privileged youth and local sports teams in and around Upstate New York. We strive to be a change-agent by fostering excellence, both in character and community, in urban and diverse communities.

To learn more about us and how to become a part of our mission, please visit us at GPDW2.org.

“ODE TO A SPECIAL MOM”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

In the tale of my life, the hero isn’t a caped crusader or a larger-than-life figure; it’s my mother, Donna Turner. Her journey began with the birth of a child born with spina bifida, a birth defect that presented a world of challenges. But, my mom’s strength and love knew no bounds.

Growing up in Canandaigua, her family led a simple life. Her parents worked tirelessly to provide for their children’s future.

As the oldest daughter, My momassumed an adult role, caring for her younger siblings as her parents worked full-time. Life took an unexpected turn when her talented musician father decided to chase his dream of playing with the Lawrence Welk Orchestra in California. The family embarked on an odyssey that altered the course of their lives.

Reality set in, and my mom found herself taking care of her siblings as her parents worked regular jobs. But fate had something more profound in store for her. She met a confident young man, my father, and their love story blossomed. My mom stood by him, joining in his adventures, whether it was cars, buddies, or “super up” cars from his earnings at the Sonoco station.

After high school, my mom pursued a career in education at Brockport University, nurturing dreams of

BY TOM TURNER

becoming a teacher. She and my father remained inseparable, their bond growing stronger with each passing day. My father excelled as a salesman, earning the recommendation to take a Dale Carnegie sales course, and once again, my mom’sunwavering support helped him achieve top grades.

Then, on September 10th, 1970, I made my entry into the world, a bouncing baby boy with spina

a bold move, quitting his job to start Turner Automotive, a Corvette and Specialty car store, with my mom by his side. She handled the day-to-day operations and finances, and as I and my sister grew older, we became integral parts of the business. My mom’s multifaceted role included managing the books, and I took charge of answering the phone and later handling the burgeoning “E:Commerce” duties.

However, challenges never ceased. my father fell ill with Waldenstrom’s Syndrome, a rare form of lymphoma. My mom along with my sister’s medical expertise, collaborated with his doctors to provide the best care possible. His fight ended in 2013, but thanks to my mom and my sister’s courageous actions, he lived longer than expected.

bifida. The doctors painted a grim picture, but my parents, with reluctant determination, declared, “we want him,” beginning their journey as special parents. My childhood was marked by their relentless dedication, day and night, to ensure my education and future. Thanks to their unwavering support, I proudly hold a high school diploma.

In August of 1972, my father made

After my father’s passing, the family made the difficult decision to sell the business he had built. My mom ever resilient, guided the transition smoothly, ensuring it passed into capable hands.

As time went on, My mom continued to bear immense responsibilities, navigating life with grace. Her “Me Time” included moments in her Ford Freestyle, savoring coffee at McDonald’s, and chatting on the

“In the tale of my life, the hero isn’t a caped crusader or a larger-than-life figure; it’s my mother, Donna Turner.”

After my father’s passing, the family made the difficult decision to sell the business he had built. My mom ever resilient, guided the transition smoothly, ensuring it passed into capable hands.

As time went on, My mom continued to bear immense responsibilities,

navigating life with grace. Her “Me Time” included moments in her Ford Freestyle, savoring coffee at McDonald’s, and chatting on the phone. She remained a taskmaster until the very end.

My mom’s indomitable spirit and unwavering love left an indelible

mark on the world. She is greatly missed by all who had the privilege of knowing her. In my story, she is not just a mother but a true superhero, and her legacy lives on in the hearts of those she touched.

“My mom’s indomitable spirit and unwavering love left an indelible mark on the world.”

ANGER AND ALLYSHIP

BY VALERIE DIMINO

A question I’m often asked about having coauthored a memoir for a sexual abuse survivor is whether the work presented its own kind of trauma for me—in hearing about what Jessica endured, researching the topic, and trying to bring it to life in writing.

It’s a complicated answer.

I wouldn’t call it trauma, no, but a peculiar kind of difficulty that oscillated between self-doubt and rage.

The self-doubt came first, early and persistent. When Debbie, the counselor who had been helping both Jessica and me for years, told me one fateful day that she had a client whose story would make a powerful book and asked if I’d be interested in meeting her, I said yes. I’d been looking for more of a creative outlet for my writing, and I agreed that the story sounded powerful from Debbie’s synopsis of what Jessica had experienced: years of sexual abuse at the hands of her adoptive stepfather, followed by years more of shaming and attempted silencing by her family and church community after the truth came out.

I agreed that it would be great for me to talk with Jessica and see if I could help her share her story—but from the outset, that came with a

lot of big “If”s in my head: If she’d be willing to talk with me. If she really does want to move forward with writing a book. If I’m up for the task of being the person to help her with it.

Honestly, I assumed that she wouldn’t and that I wasn’t.

our collective human understanding. As I delved into research on the topic, reading other memoirs by rape survivors and attempting to keep tabs on the constant wave of books, documentaries, and news articles on the topic—a seemingly impossible task—I only continued to grow angrier. How can this be such a common experience, in the United States of America, in the twenty-first century? That someone is not only abused but then made to feel responsible for it, ashamed of it, guilty about it, prevented from speaking about it?

All told, I knew these struggles that I had at times throughout our seven-year writing process paled in comparison to what Jessica and so many other victims have experienced, and they ultimately only compelled me to keep moving forward and reach the finish line.

motivated and overwhelmingly angry. Angry that this story existed at all and, as evidenced by the second wave of abuse Jessica had endured after the sexual abuse was reported, angry that there was such an urgent need for it to be heard, such shortcomings in our criminal justice system and in

Yes, it was difficult to hear about the trauma Jessica had endured. And because of that, I knew I needed to help her craft it into a book that would enlighten and empower others.

Whether, like Jessica, you bear the scars of survivorship and want to redefine what they mean or, like me, you’re looking to be an ally, we hope our book will help guide you and offer hope.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

An excerpt from The Man Behind the Curtain: A Memoir by Jessica Renee with Valerie

Dimino

[Authors’ note: While most of the book is written from Jessica’s point of view, an excerpt of which was shared in last month’s edition of Rochester Woman Online, the following is from the book’s Afterword, written from Valerie’s perspective.]

Jessica’s growth is especially impressive considering how, meanwhile, so little has changed among the Tennessee community she transcended. Her stepfather was released from prison in 2020. Just as she expected, he was welcomed back into his family and his community. Jessica’s mother and the church flock continue to deny his guilt and proclaim Jessica’s—despite his conviction on thirteen counts, despite the eight years he spent in prison and the five denied appeals, despite his continued supervised probation and his lifelong violent sex offender status. They attempt to portray these as terrible things done to him rather than consequences of terrible things he did. They will likely cry out against what we’ve said in this book. They’ve already done so upon hearing we were working on it. They will continue to attempt to shame Jessica into silence and deny the difficult truths she had the courage to speak.

Just as Craig did throughout the trial, they will make a show of their criticisms as they cast the blame in the wrong direction. They will want you to pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

But Jessica is moving on with her life. The actions of her estranged family and its blind supporters defined and constrained her for too many years. She is now carving out a future on her own terms, and she’s come to recognize that that includes limiting who gets to be a part of it. After leaving a door cracked open for years in the hope that her mother might come knocking and make amends, she told me, “That door is now closed.”

To me, it seems impossible to ignore the powerful perspectives of the several professionals who have so generously given their time and expertise in collaborating with us on this book and corroborating Jessica’s story. Tommy and Wayne, Laural, and Debbie have each worked with hundreds of victims and have in-depth knowledge of cases like these that most people could not stomach. Despite the numbers they have worked with and the years that have passed, they were all eager to help tell Jessica’s story without hesitation. They remember her, they believe her, and they are appalled by how she was treated.

Throughout my conversations with each of these experts, one phrase kept coming up, like a refrain: I’d never seen anything like this. As they recounted the family’s and community’s behavior, the church flock’s presence permeating the courthouse, the dismissal of so much key evidence, and the further victimization of the victim throughout hours and weeks and years of court proceedings, they used words like odd, nonsense,

crazy, terrible, shocking, a blood bath, absolutely stunning—and said that they’d never seen anything like this case. Imagine the things they have seen. And never anything like this.

It couldn’t have been easy, but despite the constant questioning and belittling hurled at Jessica’s team by the rapist’s supporters, Wayne told me, “We weren’t gonna take any guff from any of them fools.”

And Jessica and I won’t either.

This is Jessica’s truth. It is her story for the telling. I applaud her for embracing the courage to tell it and am honored that she allowed me to help her do so. In one of our early meetings, she told me in a voice both exhausted by and propelled by frustration, “Every time I tell my story, I apologize for my story.”

She is done apologizing. The apology was never hers to make.

“Whether, like Jessica, you bear the scars of survivorship and want to redefine what they mean or, like me, you’re looking to be an ally, we hope our book will help guide you and offer hope.”

“To me, it seems impossible to ignore the powerful perspectives of the several professionals who have so generously given their time and expertise in collaborating with us on this book and corroborating Jessica’s story.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

IMAGINE…. August 26, 2021, an Afghan woman, you are standing and waiting frantically at the only airport in Afghanistan available to people trying to escape the Taliban. Just eleven days earlier, the Taliban had captured the capital city of Kabul. You are just behind the airport entry gate; you, your two daughters, one son, and your mother. There are thousands of people waiting for the same airplane you hope to be on to get to the United States, where your husband is waiting. You were not permitted to travel with him because of a paperwork backlog. Failure to get on that airplane means almost certain death for you and your family. The alternative to death is nearly as bad.

A death that you might actually beg for if the Taliban is able to apprehend all of you. Your young daughters will be forced into marriage. The Taliban will likely torture and kill you, your son, and your mother as retaliation for the work your husband did as an interpreter for the United States. These are the people, and their families, who interpreted and guided our troops during the Afghanistan war, at tremendous risk to themselves.

Now, with that scenario in mind, Rochester Women’s Online Magazine would like to introduce you to an incredible woman by the name of Ellen Smith. Ellen has made it her goal to get as many interpreters and their families to safety as possible. Make no mistake, getting these families out and to safety takes an incredible amount of teamwork on all levels, federal, state, and county, Ellen works with all of these agencies. Once the families are successfully brought

BY TERRY DANIELE

to Rochester, what happens to them? Well, Ellen Smith happens to them. Ellen is the Director of Keeping Our Promise. Keeping Our Promise is a not-for-profit agency that works to get Interpreters out of Afghanistan and then to start the process of resettlement of these families who worked with our troops to interpret and guide them during the Afghanistan war.

Before we tell you about the work Ellen does to bring these incredibly brave people who gave up everything to make sure our soldiers made it home. We would like to share a bit about the woman that makes those transitions a reality for those families.

So, Ellen Smith, who is she? Ellen was born in a typical small-town conservative America, with small-town values. She told RWO she remembered as early as age 9 she had ideas and aspirations to make the world a better place. As an adult she found herself fulfilling those aspirations. She became an investigative journalist in Washington D.C. reporting on mining safety and the health administration in the area. She covered stories such as miner strikes, mine collapses, and the apparent indifference of the mine owners to their workers. Her fearless reporting of stories drew the attention of friends and foes.

Following her move to Rochester and the decreasing requirements of her reporting work, in 2014, Ellen heard about a US Army Captain trying to get his Afghan Interpreter and family out of Afghanistan to the US.

She met with the captain to see how she might help. So started a journey she never could have imagined would become her life’s work and passion. There was to be a price though. In 2017 after several years of advocating to bring these families to safety, she had to make the decision to turn in her journalist credentials. She was working long hours for these families and she knew there was a line between being an advocate and a journalist. She could not do both. By this time, advocating for her families outweighed the desire to be a journalist. While she told us the decision was difficult, she would make the same decision today she said.

She went from that first time helping out, gradually to full-time involvement. Ellen receives the names of people who helped US forces and who are still in Afghanistan. The names come from interpreters still in Afghanistan or interpreters who are already in the US. She works with the US State Department to obtain Special Immigration Visas (SIV) for these people and their families. These visas can be difficult to get. Ellen helps in this process because there is a great deal of paperwork and often a language barrier. It is always a race against time!

Ellen then meets the families at the airport to greet the people. It is her goal to get them settled into a home and all that that entails, food, school for the children, health care, jobs and much more.

Keeping Our Promise operates on a shoestring budget, which makes it near impossible to settle these families easily,

“The organization she has developed with little monetary resources is nothing short of a miracle.”

ELLEN SMITH KEEPING HER PROMISE

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

but Ellen is constantly using her creative juices to make it work.

RWO reached out to a couple of people in Ellen’s circle. We asked for interviews with Lieutenant Colonel US Army Andrea’ Evans, Ret. who served his country for 35 years, and Sergeant Nick Stefanovic of the Marine Corps. They work very closely with Ellen these days and agreed to talk to us to provide some valuable insight regarding their experience in Afghanistan and the work they do for Ellen.

First, RWO spoke to Andrea’ Evans. During Andréa’s tour in Afghanistan, he was the head of the combat advisory team. He is also a current board member of Keeping Our Promise (KOP) and in keeping with his civic involvement is currently running for the Town Supervisor of Irondequoit. He talked of the importance of getting his interpreters out of Afghanistan in 2007. He worked on this himself with the assistance of government officials. Now he works with KOP. He mentioned the incredible work that Ellen is doing and the support he hopes he can bring to her. He mentioned how determined she is, “she is so passionate about the work she does and the Afghanistan people respect her”. He knows how difficult it is to not just bring the people here, but to find housing, household goods, vehicles, jobs, and schools for them. Next, RWO talked to Nick Stefanovic as we said, he works closely with Ellen. He is the Director of the Monroe County Veterans Service Agency. The Center can provide KOP families with a variety of support services that KOP cannot.

This additional help was made possible by the Bello administration.

He explained why he is so impassioned in helping this group of people and why what Ellen does is so important, especially for women and girls. He shared an experience he had while serving in Afghanistan. He was ordered to deliver money to an informant. The delivery was to be made at a children’s clinic. He said he entered, looked around, and saw no women. When he asked where the women were. He was directed to a tiny separate room. He opened the door and there in that tiny room were all the women and their children. Nick said, “It looked like they were piled on top of each other”. He had some candy and tried to hand it out. When the girls placed their hands in front of the boys, the girl’s hands were hit with a sharp switch. Nick was so enraged and sickened by what he had just witnessed, he returned to his base with the money he had been ordered to give the informant.

His work with Ellen has made it apparent to him the devotion she feels for “her” families.

RWO magazine was invited to spend a Sunday morning with Ellen following her for the day. The day started at 10 am at her home. We went first to the Linen Closet in Honeoye Falls. The Linen Closet is run by local church members. Through it, they collect and organize bedding and towels for the new families. They have linens and some kitchen necessities as well.

These families that come to Rochester have nothing. Ellen sets up an entire apartment with the bare necessities. Ellen picked up a bundle for a new family she was resettling. With the home goods, we went to the apartment the family was to settle in. Upon arrival, we were met by several Afghan men (interpreters) helping to assemble new furniture in the apartment.

From there we went to Greenovation. This thrift store allows Ellen to share space. She bartered with them offering someone to work the store on Saturdays in exchange for space for small storage and an office. Next was the space she uses for storage of bigger furniture items, nearby. Our last stop was to visit a successful Afghan bakery. I can attest to their “good taste.”

Ellen also helps the Afghans get jobs and cars. She explained that the possession of a vehicle greatly increased the ability of the families to be successful. Transportation to work, school, doctors, and shopping makes everything easier. But vehicles are expensive and often difficult to come by.

What impressed us, and others, about Ellen was her ability to make something of nothing. She barters all the time to get what is needed. She prevails on government and private agencies to help. She is tireless in her pursuit of what is required to help. We clearly saw that. The organization she has developed with little monetary resources is nothing short of a miracle. To use a comment from Nick Stefanovic “Ellen will be written about in years to come for the work she is doing today”. Today Ellen is Keeping Her Promise.

“Reject the diet mentality. Restricting doesn’t work.” YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“These families that come to Rochester have nothing. Ellen sets up an entire apartment with the bare necessities.”

SHOP FOR A A CAUSE

SUPPORTING TEEN MOMS

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Crochet For A Cause: THE FLAWED IMPERFECTION CROCHET COLLECTION

Is crocheting for a cause. It’s the perfect crafting opportunity if you’re looking to support Teen Moms.

Is a local organization with a global mission that empowers young women with families to achieve economic independence by providing a network of support to help teenage moms and families to thrive in work and in life.

by dr tunya griffin

constructed, each design in her collection is presented with the finest yarns and intricate techniques to ensure unmatched quality and a big dose of love added.

We invite you to prepare yourself to be mesmerized by the interplay of colors, textures and your personal story, family story or bitthing story weaved into each item designed with you in mind.

OUR STORY

was keeping my baby who is now my brainiac talented thirty-nine year-old son and College graduate.

I would love to say that my family was super supportive, and everything was easy, but that would not be entirely true. At first my mother was upset, disappointed, and rightly so. She came around eventually, but my mom and my aunties Ronnie and Cheryl believed that my dad would strangle me.

INTRODUCING THE FLAWED IMPERFECTIONS CROCHET COLLECTION: By

Ronnie A. Moton

Ronnie Moton handcrafted designs transcends beyond’ threads. Ronnie Moton heightening the artistic nature of her collection Paying attention to the details of the lives of those she encounters on a daily basis. “When I say, you’re flawed imperfections to others, it means that you accept your flaws, and others flaws, similarly like you are imperfect so is all people who inhabit this planet. In my designs, I intentional add flaws weaved into the design, because my designs are a reminder that your flaws are perfect for you. Embrace them, and love who you are even with your flaws and all – When people love you, they may say, you’re flawed imperfections basically saying that they accept you with your flaws and all!” That’s the message of my designs that Auntie Ronnie loves you – flaws and all,” says Ronnie Moton.

Ronnie Moton’s designs are crafted by a limitless imagination, carefully

An Open Letter to Every Teen Mom 1985 was the day that changed my life! My Junior year of high school was one of the most terrifying years of my life. I was preparing to go away to college on a possible track scholarship when I realized something was changing in my body. In particular, I was sleeping more often It didn’t really even occur to me that I might be pregnant, but all the signs were there.

One day, I skipped track practice to go home so I could rest. On that same day my aunt Cheryl was home from work. She blurted out to my mom, “That girl is pregnant. She’s sleeping a lot.” My mom asked, “Do you think you’re pregnant?” Me, looking dumb, shrugged my shoulders.

My mom’s response was priceless. She said, “Go to Planned Parenthood and get tested.”

That was the longest walk.

Planned Parenthood gave me a pregnancy test and prenatal exam. I was 15 weeks pregnant by their estimation. There was no big decision for me to make, I

My aunties grabbed me before my father returned home from his fishing trip to provide me with options if my dad decided to strangle me. It was the funniest thing.

My mom said, I ain’t telling him nothing! You and your boyfriend will tell him. My aunties said, “if he strangle you then I should call the police. They knew my dad would not strangle me, but they wanted me to be prepared, because they were fully aware that my dad shared with all of his children that after we completed high school then college.

My parents, like most black parents believed that education was an opportunity to grab hold of the American Dream. Moreover they believed that education and social mobility were inevitably linked. Racial gaps in education, employment and wealth reflect the disproportionate representation of black families at the bottom of the income scale, but education was believed ti be the key to push against the current barriers that existed for black families in America.

“I intentional add flaws weaved into the design, because my designs are a reminder that your flaws are perfect for you.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

My pregnancy would be viewed as a threat to my education and laying a hold onto the American dream. The good news is that my parents partnered with me to ensure college and the American dream could be actualized.

Together, we turned this so-called barrier into an opportunity.

As my aunties were teaching me Bruce Lee karate moves before dad arrived home.

I asked my aunties, “y’all call the police if I’m strangled.”

They responded, “we are not sticking around while you give dad the information.”

They didn’t leave, but they stood by my side until my boyfriend and I shared the pregnancy with my dad.

My dad response shocked us all!

My boyfriend decided he would share the news with my dad. Before he could say a word said, “I know.” He asked my boyfriend, “Did you tell your parents?”

If not, call them now, and the rest was history. My parents decide to help raise my son by allowing me to attend college at Kansas State University.

We were shocked!

My dad seemed genuinely happy to have a new baby in the family when I first announced my pregnancy. Of course, once my son was born everyone was in love with him. My dad said, I have a fishing partner. My son was the first grandchild all around, and everyone

Statistics on Teenage Pregnancy

• Teenage mothers are more likely to drop out of high school – fewer than 2% earn a college degree by age 30.

• Children of teen mothers do worse in school than those born to older parents they are 50% more likely to repeat a grade, are less likely to complete high school than the children of older mothers, and have lower performance on standardized tests.

Tunya turned her lemons into lemonades:

*In 2009, Tunya earned a Bachelor of Science in Organizational Management|Roberts Wesleyan College

*In 2013, Tunya earned a Master of Divinity at Northeastern Seminary at Roberts Wesleyan

*In 2021, Tunya earned a Doctor of Divinity at Northeastern Seminary at Roberts Wesleyan

spoiled him, which was helpful because I was broke teen mom and my son needed so much stuff.

My Griffin’s personal story is one of transformative change. A former teenage mother who has faced more than her share of adversity, she overcame the odds:

*In 2023, Full Circle Dr. Griffin’s Aunt Ronnie Moton that helped prepare to tell her dad about the pregnancy rediscovered her passion for crocheting baby items.

Shop For A Cause: Supporting Teen Moms

“Ronnie Moton’s designs are crafted by a limitless imagination, carefully constructed, each design in her collection is presented with the finest yarns and intricate techniques to ensure unmatched quality and a big dose of love added.”

MEET LINDA PIETERS

Could you describe your role at Senior Care Authority?

We are a small local business, I work alongside owners Mike Kearney and Dave Schanz dividing our time between working with our senior clients and their families; and the hospitals, rehabilitation facilities, and medical professionals who look to us to support their patients.

What does your job entail when it comes to canvassing hospitals, skilled nursing rehabs, and other professionals for senior support and living options?

If you have been to a hospital or skilled nursing rehabilitation facility recently you are aware of how busy the social workers and care managers are running between patients, families, doctor interactions, and patient documentation. I am often contacted directly to visit a patient or family when a return to a home or residence is not listed as a safe discharge option. I visit hospitals and rehabs weekly to help the social work teams find options available under the terms of a safe discharge. Very often patients and families are under great pressure to move an older patient quickly because once insurance runs out the cost to remain in a hospital or rehab bed is typically billed at $450-650 per day! Medical facilities always have lists of local independent living, assisted living, memory care communities, and nursing homes and a basic overview of the care levels. Since we are all in and out of senior communities and facilities daily, we are able to maintain a detailed database of the actual current pricing, availability, financial requirements, apartment sizes, licensed care levels and continuums, service options, NYS inspection data,

included amenities, and much more from nearly 60 area senior communities in Monroe and all surrounding counties. We help families throughout the process with understanding, identifying options, defining financial options and qualifications, care planning, visiting, and touring with community admissions, applications, NYS Department of Health documentation, screening requirements, paperwork, and transition management. Quickly identifying details such as who allows pets, what is close to family, where are rooms and

Mike are both CSAs (Certified Senior Advisors) and CDPs (Certified Dementia Practitioners), and I also have the benefit of an education and years of experience as an LMSW. The practice of licensed master social work means I have the professional application of social work theory, principles, and the methods to prevent, assess, evaluate, formulate, and implement a plan of action based on client needs and strengths, and intervene to address mental, social, emotional, behavioral, developmental, and addictive disorders, conditions and disabilities, and of the psychosocial aspects of illness and injury experienced by individuals, couples, families, groups, communities, organizations, and society. Licensed master social workers engage in strong advocacy, case management, counseling, consultation, research, administration and management, and teaching.

Can you explain the key aspects of supporting family caregivers, spouses, friends, and family members during the transition to senior living?

apartments furnished, who can manage a catheter or colostomy bag, who is licensed to provide a 1-assist or 2-assist, etc. enables families to quickly identify options of interest. These types of details can change quickly which makes our expertise valuable to both the medical facility and the senior involved.

How does your education in Master of Social Work contribute to your expertise in this field?

Everyone on our team has significant expertise in senior care, Dave and

Of course, there are both practical and emotional issues that are critical to identifying safe care options for older adults. The practical issues involve things like the level of care needed, the trajectory of illnesses and frailties, the costs, and available resources, and needed amenities such as transportation, visiting geriatricians, activities, and dining to name a few. The emotional issues run wide and deep. Often and understandably our elders want to remain in their home, even if it is unsafe. Family and friends providing support are frequently caught between the demands of their jobs, children and grandchildren, distance from the loved

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

one, and end up in conflict with their older loved one about the measures needed to keep them safe. We always take the time to identify and explain all available options to keep the senior safe. This often includes explaining and referring families to services beyond the scope of our business for things like inhome care, durable medical equipment, elder law, and public assistance to name a few. My experience in social work is particularly valuable when working with family members who do not agree on what care is needed and when. At all times we are advocating for the senior involved and strongly believe that everyone has the right to make their own decision about their living arrangements and care, even if those decisions are not good ones.

How many years of experience do you have in working with long-term care insurance?

I spent nearly 5 years as a Long-Term Care Benefits Planner for Excellus MedAmerica utilizing extensive social work and active listening skills to facilitate the services necessary to ensure a client’s optimal quality of life. I assisted policy owners and their families in effectively navigating the complex long-term insurance assets at a time when reimbursable care must be tapped. I strived to ensure that all clients receive the appropriate funded care to which they have paid and are entitled, present support and recommendations to the policyholder and family about community resources, provide consistent outreach and communication to provide guidance through physical and cognitive impairments and continually

found creative and solutions as well as adherence to best practices and outcomes, particularly throughout the pandemic.

What led you to specialize in helping seniors and their families navigate these important decisions?

I lost my father to Alzheimer’s 10 years ago and just lost my mom in June. She was in one of the highest-rated nursing homes in the area. Watching her lose her independence and ability was obviously very painful. Our family’s experience identifying and supporting her needs when she could no longer safely remain in her home alone was very difficult. I draw great satisfaction from the appreciation my clients express after going through the painful process of keeping a loved one safe, especially when that means giving up a home and lifestyle they have often enjoyed for decades.

Could you share some success stories or memorable experiences from your work with Senior Care Authority?

One of the most memorable successes was with a man who was fiercely independent and terribly upset that he could not return home after a fall. He went to rehabilitation and was giving his adult children a difficult time about considering a move to assisted living. We met with his daughter present and talked about his life, work, family, and hobbies. We also discussed the loss of finances, privacy, and familiarity with the thought of living in a community he has never seen. Just as anyone would be, elders need to feel understood and have some control over where they are going to live. The discussion, although

emotional, was extremely helpful in making the decision to move forward. After his stay in assisted living for about a year, he then needed long-term care. Again, I collaborated with his daughter on finances, different nursing home tours, and the application process. After all was completed and he moved into a local nursing facility, the thanks, appreciation, and relief of his daughter were priceless to me!

What are some common challenges that you often encounter when assisting families in finding suitable senior living options?

As a society, we have not planned well for our elders. We have made tremendous progress extending the length of our lives, but little or no progress in planning on how to support elders who while still alive need higher and higher levels of costly support with their activities of daily living. Supportive senior living communities are highly regulated and awfully expensive. We estimate only 25-30% of the seniors we work with have the resources needed to choose a senior living community that can provide nursing and aide care. While the demand and need for affordable supportive housing increase at a rapid rate (more than 10,000 US citizens turn 65 every day!), many cannot afford desirable options. As many as 400 nursing homes are projected to close in 2023, and the average operating margin is a 12% loss. Very few of our elderly clients want to move into a senior community and push back hard against family, physician, and medical advice to move to a safer environment. This frequently results in illnesses and injuries that could be

“We estimate only 25-30% of the seniors we work with have the resources needed to choose a senior living community that can provide nursing and aide care.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

e avoided in the proper care environment. Most commonly a fall resulting in the loss or severe limitation of mobility and mismanagement of medication force a family to find a nursing home rather than a more active, social, assisted living community, increasing the cost by orders of magnitude. Folks in their 80s and 90s have visions of the horrible nursing homes they visited when they were much younger and are not aware of how there are now many vibrant and active senior communities that not only provide needed care, but enable elders to reconnect with a whole community of cohorts, many of whom have lost many of their spouses, friends, and neighbors who did not live to reach 80 or 90 years of age.

How do you ensure that the living options you recommend align with the specific needs and preferences of the seniors you’re assisting?

We advocate first and foremost for our senior and family clients taking the time to meet them face to face, collect the thoughts and preferences of multiple family members, and cover all the physical, mental, and geographical needs and available resources so we can identify compatible communities. Very few people, including many with medical expertise, have the time and ability to maintain current information on which communities can provide the needed level of care, and what the costs and financial requirements are. Our job is to provide compatible choices for families to visit and consider knowing that through our expertise the one they choose is highly likely to admit the senior. Once we understand the current and potential future needs of the senior it is easy for families to visit a community,

ask the right questions, and make the best decision for their loved ones.

In your opinion, what qualities make Senior Care Authority stand out in the realm of senior support services?

In 2017 Senior Care Authority was the first local company to open and provide expertise in finding safe living options for seniors. Since then, at least four more local operations have opened to meet the demand for “senior placement.” People have long been comfortable researching information through the internet. This resulted in several online marketers with large call centers to entice those who research to share their contact information as families try to understand available options. Information shared by online researchers is typically sold to multiple communities which typically results in an avalanche of sales calls from communities that may or may not have the ability to provide the right level of care and may not be affordable for many families. Very few communities list their prices online due to the wide variety of living spaces and care licensing. For licensed assisted living and higher care, a new resident is only admitted after a nurse does a personal assessment of the senior to draft a care plan which needs to be approved by the senior community finance, aide, nurse, and management team. Since we are in communities daily, we can keep up with their licensing, care levels, costs, and financial commitments and have the personal, current condition of these communities. What do they smell like? Where are residents happy or disappointed? Which focuses on increasing short-term census and which focuses on long-term resident satisfaction. Finding the right local senior living

community is not like buying a car or a new TV which can be shipped from anywhere, families benefit significantly from working with local experts who have actually visited and met with staff and residents in our communities. The best part is for independent living, assisted/enhanced/enriched living, and special needs/memory care we are contracted with more than 50 area senior communities who pay us a fee when we find them compatible new residents so there is no cost to families for our help and expertise. Between 60-80% of all community placements result in the community paying a finder’s fee, 90% of which go to online marketers who have never even visited local communities. We are very transparent about our business model which is very similar to how real estate agents work when they are paid by the seller when their client buys a home. There are paid services we offer as well, such as senior driving safety, long-term care insurance support, elder care consulting and remote family management, and nursing home placement. Finding a bed in a good nursing home has become increasingly difficult, and they cannot pay a fee to consultants so placement in skilled nursing is a paid option we offer families as well.

How do you keep up with the latest developments and trends in senior living and care?

Senior living and care options change quickly. Communities are bought and sold and maintaining quality staff is difficult for senior care just as almost any business you visit evidenced by the help wanted signs that seem to be everywhere. Besides keeping up with the local communities we keep close

“We advocate first and foremost for our senior and family clients taking the time to meet them face to face, collect the thoughts and preferences of multiple family members, and cover all the physical, mental, and geographical needs and available resources so we can identify compatible communities.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

track of NYS DoH inspection data and licensing, receive regular training, and are required to maintain continuing education credits to maintain our CSA, CDP, CBDDP, LMSW, and other credentials. Senior Care Authority is a franchise in more than 75 US markets. While we run our business locally, we benefit from regular SCA training and education seminars and leverage the experience our co-franchisees have in widely diverse markets across the county. We can often help families when the senior, or their children are in another state by coordinating support with other Senior Care Authorities. Co-owner Mike Kearney is the current President of the Greater Rochester Area Partnership for the Elderly (aka GRAPE) a local notfor-profit organization of more than 300 suppliers of senior services. Members present educational information at monthly breakfast and lunch meetings keeping us up with critical peripheral services including home care, elder law, equipment and technology, insurance, financial planning, and public assistance to name a few.

What advice would you give to someone who is just beginning to explore senior living options for their loved one?

Do not guess, assess! This is a key point we make to families. First, you must understand the physical and mental needs of the senior. They must be willing to consider some kind of support. Align with all family stakeholders; if a daughter who is local is providing all the care, but her sibling in another state is unwilling to discuss supporting care or a move she is wasting time looking at a community until all stakeholders are coordinated. Identify resources, many seniors are understandably reluctant

to discuss their assets; will the children pitch in to support care costs? Involve the senior doctors and get input on the physical and mental health of the loved one. If you collaborate with us, we not only help you identify care options but help you understand how to initiate and work through the process. Families can hire geriatric care experts to work through exploration as well. We do not diagnose medical conditions, that is for medical professionals. However, we can easily identify what care options match medical needs once defined. We often work hand in hand with doctors, social workers, care and case managers, elder law attorney’s, and many others to utilize their expertise supporting the senior and their family.

Can you explain the importance of personalized care plans and how they contribute to the well-being of seniors? Again assess, don’t guess. Loved ones commonly over and underestimate the care needs and resources of an elderly person. Once we pre-qualify a senior the nurse who assesses the senior will have a much better idea of the needs of the senior and be able to focus on the most important activities of daily living needing support. Ambulation, transferring, bathing and hygiene, toileting, dressing, and eating. That is one of the most important values of licensed senior living, an ever-evolving care plan. A visit to a doctor, hospital, or rehab can only outline a care plan at a single point in time. When living in an assisted living community the initial care plan evolves constantly. It is common for someone in their 80s or 90s to have minimal support needs upon joining a community but then evolve to more or higher support as time goes on. The care

“Do not guess, assess! This is a key point we make to families. First, you must understand the physical and mental needs of the senior.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

is very difficult and becoming more so as time goes on. CCRC (Continuing Care Retirement Community) is a very misunderstood term. There is only one community in the Greater Rochester area that is licensed by NYS to offer a “life care contract.” A life care contract means if a resident is accepted into the independent living (no care) part of the community, has deposited $200,000-900,000 into a trust account the community holds, and has passed a physical and cognitive test confirming no current need for care, they can pay the same rent throughout the continuum of care including assisted living, memory care, and skilled nursing. While many organizations have several levels of care on a campus or in Greater Rochester, residents must prove they can afford the financial requirements to pay for each ensuing level of care. The only advantage a current resident needing a higher level of care is jumping ahead of any waitlist of potential residents not currently doing business with that organization. One more misconception is that a “not-forprofit” community will cost less than a privately owned community. On average not-for-profit communities are among the most expensive in Greater Rochester.

Could you elaborate on the resources and tools you utilize to gather information and make informed recommendations for seniors and their families?

Our intake process takes 30-60 minutes, without this we would have to guess, and we do not guess about the care needs of others. Not everyone wants to share personal information, however joining a licensed care community requires intimate details from doctors, hospitals, rehabs, and financial details. We can save families a lot of time and aggravation as once

we have the information needed to be considered as a resident, we can quickly eliminate incompatible communities, and then quickly check with compatible communities for availability. This avoids the need to fill out applications and repeat details over and over without knowing if the organization is even close to a fit. We cover needs for support of all activities of daily living, current and past diseases and maladies, the history of doctor visits and hospitalizations, falls and results, medications, sight and hearing capabilities, and cognitive status. Also, what are the financial resources, we can often help families find options to pay for care they are not aware of such as veteran’s benefits. Is there a health care proxy and financial power of attorney that most communities require? Is there a will and/or estate plan in place and is the attorney and financial advisor aware of a potential move? We identify where the family lives to help find someplace near enough to all. We find out how big of a personal living space is desired if pets are moving with. We have the tools needed to gather the right information quickly and efficiently.

How do you approach situations where family members have differing opinions on the best course of action for a senior’s living situation?

This is a common issue. We get everyone’s input and thoughts and encourage the family to take the advice of experts whenever possible. Doctors, medical records, and elder law to name a few. We encourage families to work together with a point person who is closest to the situation. When the family cannot align, we can help with mediation. All with the priority of advocating for the senior involved.

Can you discuss the emotional aspect of transitioning a loved one to senior living and how you provide support during this process?

Hard and sometimes painful. Loving family is often not able to initiate a discussion about a senior needing care without conflict. It is not unusual for older folks to refuse to talk about and consider needing help. The most common comment: “I want them to carry me out of this house in a box straight to the cemetery.” In most cases, those supporting the need for senior care are loving and caring. Sometimes family is desperate as they have tried every option to keep a parent safe in a home but most of the time the care exceeds the capability and bandwidth of the family’s shared support. Occasionally families have members with concerns about the maintenance of and spending down of a seniors’ lifetime of savings. Nothing about a move to senior living or accepting outside care is easy.

What do you find most rewarding about your work with Senior Care Authority and helping seniors find suitable living arrangements?

I would have to say helping seniors and family members feel they made an informed decision. In modern society, there is a vast amount of online information and options for seniors that is very overwhelming! Many times, I have heard comments like “No one ever trained me for this” or “What would I have done without you” This speaks volumes about what the process feels like. In a nutshell, this is where the reward is for me!

“Over the past 30 years, there have been many innovations in care and communities built to let seniors thrive rather than just survive.”

CAT GROOMING DOG GROOMING

Add-Ons

EMPOWERING CHANGE AND EMBRACING POSSIBILITIES:

THE JOURNEY OF HEIDI MECKLEY, AUTHOR AND MINDSET COACH

Heidi Meckley, a certified Mindset coach, devoted mom, and dedicated wife, has embarked on a remarkable journey of transformation, coaching, and authorship. With a background rooted in life experiences and a heart dedicated to empowering others, Heidi’s story is one of resilience, personal growth, and a burning desire to make a difference.

Heidi’s path into coaching was paved by her innate ability to guide others through life’s challenges. Despite her professional background in retail and administrative positions, she consistently found herself providing solutions and guidance to those around her. Armed with an Associates Degree in Business Administration, a certificate in Business Management from Niagara County Community College, and an accredited certificate in Mindset Coaching, Heidi stepped into the world of professional coaching in October of 2022.

What truly sets Heidi apart is her unique coaching approach that she tailors to each individual. Whether it’s 1:1 sessions or group coaching, Heidi’s style is characterized by her candidness and genuine care. She fearlessly speaks the truth and delivers insights with love, encouraging her clients to transcend their limitations and forge their own path to success.

Heidi specializes in working with entrepreneurs who are yearning for more but find themselves stuck or selfsabotaging. Drawing from her own life experiences, she offers a safe space for her clients to uncover their true potential. Heidi’s gift lies in her ability to truly see her clients, helping them overcome self-esteem issues, barriers, and excuses

doubling business volume, and rediscovering her worth. Heidi’s unwavering support and guidance helped the client break free from selfimposed limitations.

Heidi’s book, titled “The Time is NOW and the Choice is YOURS! Are You Going To Take it?” encapsulates her coaching philosophy. This empowering book empowers readers with tools to take action, conquer fears, and step into their purpose. Drawing from her own experiences, Heidi’s book underscores the importance of embracing change and making choices that align with one’s aspirations.

Writing the book was a natural extension of Heidi’s coaching journey. The process, surprisingly smooth, flowed from her heart onto the pages. “The Time is NOW and the Choice is YOURS!” doesn’t aim to be a bestseller; its purpose is to touch the lives of those seeking guidance on their transformative journey.

that have held them back.

One of Heidi’s success stories involves a client with deep-rooted self-esteem issues. Through Heidi’s coaching, the client experienced a remarkable transformation—celebrating wins,

Heidi’s coaching and the concepts in her book seamlessly intertwine, both rooted in the belief that choices matter, and change is possible. While specific client examples from the book are yet to emerge, the essence of empowerment and transformation resonates throughout Heidi’s coaching sessions and her written words.

Heidi’s commitment to growth extends beyond her book. She’s already embarked

“Heidi’s path into coaching was paved by her innate ability to guide others through life’s challenges. “

on her second book, eagerly sharing more stories and lessons. Collaborations, events, and coaching engagements further solidify her dedication to creating positive change.

In her mission as a coach and author, Heidi Meckley aims to awaken individuals to the boundless possibilities within their grasp. Her vision centers on liberating people from their fears and constraints, enabling them to discover new purposes and create a meaningful life. Through her work, Heidi aims to create a ripple effect of positive change, breaking the cycle of limitations and

inspiring generations to come.

In the world of coaching and authorship, Heidi Meckley stands as a beacon of empowerment, an advocate for transformation, and a guide for those seeking a path to greatness. Her story, coaching approach, and book encapsulate a journey that transcends challenges and embraces the extraordinary power of choice.

As Heidi continues to impact lives through her coaching and writing, it’s evident that her journey is far from over. With each client she empowers

and each reader she inspires, Heidi Meckley paves the way for a brighter, more purposeful future—one where choices are embraced, possibilities are explored, and transformations are celebrated. Heidi’s legacy is one of change, courage, and the unwavering belief that the time for transformation is now, and the choice is always yours. With every word she writes, every person she coaches, Heidi reinforces the truth that change is not just possible; it’s inevitable when you embrace the power of choice and step into your true potential.

“Drawing from her own life experiences, she offers a safe space for her clients to uncover their true potential.”

Embrace Every Chapter.

Love the Skin You’re In!

We’re inviting all in the Pittsford community to enjoy next-level aesthetic services, a best-in-class experience and a promise for real, remarkable results. Visit Chapter Aesthetic Studio in Pittsford to bring your best self to life.

But don’t just take our word for it...

See what our guests have said about how Chapter made them feel:

“The best I have in years.”

“Comfortable and refreshed”

– Lori L.

– Ashton M.

REBEL REDS

with erin hyzen

“My parents and teachers always told me “You better be a business owner, because you don’t like rules, or being told what to do,” and It’s true!”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Can you tell us a bit about your background and how you got started in the beauty salon and spa industry?

My name is Erin Hyzen, I’ve been in the business for over 20yrs, so no rookie here! I recently opened Rebel REDS Salon, on 1978 E. Main Street across the street from Salvatore’s Pizza, In the North Winton village.

A little background about my career: I was on Monroe Ave in Brighton for the majority of my time in the business and also was an educator for Z.One Concept, an Italian product and color line called “Milkshake” and “No Inhibition.”

My job was to travel Western New York and teach new techniques on hair coloring, hair cutting, and styling using Z.One Concept. My specialty is creative coloring and precision cuts.

Rebel REDS offers: unisex haircuts, kids cuts, color, highlights special occasions styles, blowouts, perms and facial waxing and facials, and body wraps. We will be expanding!

What motivated you to become a woman entrepreneur in this particular field?

What motivated me to be in this field was that I was never a child that took to the classroom naturally. I learn best by getting my hands dirty. When I found out in the 10th grade, that I could actually attend cosmetology school to practice my passion and go to high school part time, while still graduating with my high diploma, I jumped at the chance!. My parents and teachers always told me “you better be a business owner, because

you don’t like rules, or being told what to do” and It’s true. I was and still am a bit of a rule breaker! But sometimes you can create the most beautiful art by doing things differently then everyone else and pushing boundaries.

Now, I own my own business and I love to bring the beauty out in others. And if I had a superpower, I would want to take peoples pain away. Since I’m not a superhero, this is the way I can do that. Creating my clients vision of their beautiful self helps make their inner self shine. It makes me feel like, for a moment, I have taken their pain or insecurities away. Standing behind a salon chair, with a client seated who trusts me can be like working as a coach, or even a psychologist. Everyone has good days they want to share, and even more often people want to have an outlet when they have bad days. I’m there to listen to what they need to get off their chest while I make them love the way they look. I love making people feel better, especially about themselves. That’s a gift I cherish.

How did you come up with the name “Rebel Reds” for your business? Is there a special meaning behind it?

Coming up with the name Rebel REDS was easy because as I said, I’m a rebel! I like to push things to the limit, including life, product use, and color experimentation, so “REBEL”was perfect! “RED” is partly in honor of my father who was also a redhead. He always wanted me to own my own business. He was always was like my business manager, giving me advice and encouraging me to be my own boss, always loved my red hair. Also,

I married my high school sweetheart, Pete Hyzen, who called me “Red” when we dated more than 20 years ago! After Pete started it, other people caught on and just called me red. you can always find me in a crowd because of my red hair, even if I put some blonde in there!

As a woman entrepreneur, what has been the most significant challenge you’ve faced in building and running your business?

The most challenging part of being a business owner so far has been getting all the necessary permits. To become official! I laugh and say “businesses don’t just go out of business in their first year because they failed financially. Its because it’s SO difficult to get the correct permits, and to find the start up capital to support your dreams!“ I am incredibly proud to say that I did this with two pennies in one hand and a dream in the other. Im proud to say Rebel REDS has been very successful just shy of a year in business and with no help from grants or programs. Not because I didn’t apply or look for resources. But, because they are all very difficult for people to qualify for which was disappointing and frustrating when I was struggling.

Because small businesses don’t generate profit in general for the first five years, it is still a struglle. Fortunately, family members believed in me and helped me open the door to my dream. Thank goodness! Being a female, opening a business for the first time, and coming out of COVID, it just doesn’t make sense that I didn’t qualify for financial help. The state of New York and in

“Standing behind a salon chair, with a client seated who trusts me can be like working as a coach, or even a psychologist.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

reality this country as a whole, has to make some real changes to encourage and support small business with things like realistic grant qualifications, and other red tape issues. But, I just worked that much harder and smarter. Rebels don’t go with the flow or give in, so I know what it means to have to fight for a vision others don’t see. I never give up when I know I can do something.

Are there any female role models or entrepreneurs who have inspired you along your journey? If so, who and why?

I had many mentors going into my career, both male and female. I had a great group of coworkers at the last salon I contracted with, but it unfortunately closed due to Covid. Kym Cardamone, who passed away in 2014 from cancer was my biggest mentor. She taught me to have grace and be patient. To listen and appreciate clients for more than money. However, she showed me how to be tough when you have to be. She showed me how to hustle, advertise, and be persistent in my visions. She always saw my talent and pushed me to become an educator for Zone Concept, which is where my famous “Milkshake” products come from.

David Gulino, a mentor at Zone Concept, taught me in a way that I could understand. We had a connection and an understanding immediately.

He taught me how to laugh at myself, admit and correct mistakes, and he taught me that there’s no career ending mistakes, just new creations if handled with professionalism and real skill. He was a veteran in the Marine Corps, so he was different from other stylists that I

of my comfort zone and taking the step of joining the educational team, I don’t know where I would be. So “thank you”Kym, and David.

After finding my path, I then found Safari Harris. She is a very talented esthetician that joined Rebel REDS, in February of 2023. She is hungry and motivated, humble, innocent but smart, and such a hard worker. I want to always make sure she’s successful and share my knowledge with her. I say Rebel REDS isn’t successful if she’s not. We all have are bad days or weeks, sometimes months. So I make sure I encourage her. We have “meetings of the minds,” and come with new ideas and strategies. She gets me to push myself that much further, especially when challenges come up. I aspire to be her mentor and watch her find her wings in this business. So many past coworkers have also been mentors to me. Because we were family and supported each other . Writing this reminds me how lucky I am to have such a strong support group. I thank everyone and love you all.

his boot camps and summit training courses. He was a rebel! I have met other females and males that own their business and seen how successful they are or were. I took bits and pieces of who I met throughout my career and as an educator. Without stepping out

I also have two kids that inspire me to go after my dreams. Having this business is definitely showing them that if you don’t just dream it, but also work your hands to the bones, it can happen. Maybe not as fast as you would want, but if you do the work from the bottom, and shake off all the “no’s”, and just keep fighting, they will be able to tell their own stories

“Being a female, opening a business for the first time, and coming out of COVID, it just doesn’t make sense that I didn’t qualify for financial help.“

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Among the services your salon and spa offer, which one is your personal favorite to provide and why?

My favorite service is actually some stylist worst nightmare. I LOVE before and afters! Complete transformations, especially when the client gives me a picture, are my favorite. I LOVE trying to make their hair look just like the picture they gave me. Or, we find a picture that’s the right texture and matches their face shape . I love creative color, like pinks, purple, blues ect, it really gets my heart pumping.

How do you ensure your business stays relevant and adapts to changing beauty and wellness trends?

Rebel REDS stays relevant, by using social media networks, Facebook and instagram ect. My beautiful son is a master at posting videos, and I admit to paying him to to work on many of my best posts. Thank you Shawn. I try to post morning, afternoon, evening and before bed. I post funny “stories”, “reels” pictures and fun promotions.

We are unique with our “REBEL WHEEL” It’s a game we play with our clients in the salon and at our many vendors shows. Clients LOVE IT ! You spin the wheel and see what kind of “Rebel” you are and see how many tickets it’s worth, then you have that many chances to win a service at Rebel REDS. This month is $50 towards a facial. We change the prize monthly to target all our clients needs. Then at the end of every month, we do a “live drawing” to keep our clients engaged to our social media outlets. slower days we even take it outside of the salon and

get the neighborhood involved. We have stickers, merchandise, milkshakes products and handmade soaps by Safari, dermalogica products and we recently brought in “REDLINE BEAUTY” make up by Younique sold by AMY Diana herself. Usually only sold online but now, only at Rebel REDS, you now can see and touch the products and get it that day, instead of waiting for shipping. This is just a few ways Rebel REDS stays relevant and successful.

exciting plans or expansions on the horizon?

Rebel REDS is already working on expanding. We’re always looking for new talent to join our team. We do have a space next to the current salon now but is occupied. Our landlord knows we will take over that space and add more services!!

As a successful woman entrepreneur, what advice would you give to other aspiring women who want to start their own business in the beauty industry? My advice to anyone who is an entrepreneur is, when the moment is given to you, take it ! Take the “no’s” and the doubters and turn that negativity into positive energy and “press the petal to the metal”. Be a rule breaker.

You will look down on top of the mountain you climbed with pride because you do it! Nobody gave you this moment, you took it. The hardest part is, while your following your dreams, you may find out you loose people on your journey, and that’s ok. Less weight you have to carry. You will see who your real supporters are because they will be on top of the mountain with you.

How do you stay connected with your customers and gather feedback to continually improve your salon and spa services?

Our clients also have busy lives too, so we have an online booking system with a convenient website to see our upcoming events, promotions, buy merchandise and of course book their next service. www.Rebelredsroc.com

In the next 3 to 5 years, where do you envision Rebel Reds? Are there any

My advice to future and business owners is, “BE A REBEL!” Don’t let anyone tell your “No!” Push for your passion, dreams and don’t change who you are. Believe in yourself and if you happen to fall, dust your self off, and snap out of it, don’t let one bad thing happen and think you can’t keep going, KEEP GOING and be a REBEL.

“My advice to anyone who is an entrepreneur is, when the moment is given to you, TAKE IT ! “

“Writing this reminds me how lucky I am to have such a strong support group. I thank everyone and love you all.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

ROYAL FAMILY EVENTS & CREATIONS

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

How did you come up with the name “Royal Family Events & Creations” for your business?

The name “Royal Family Events & Creations” holds a deep significance for me. When conceptualizing the business, my main aim was to create a sense of luxury, elegance, and grandeur in every aspect of the services provided. I wanted to offer a personalized experience where clients would feel cherished and esteemed throughout the entire process. By associating the word “royal” with the business, I aimed to convey the notion of exclusivity and top-tier service. Each event we organize and every creation we craft is meant to evoke a regal aura, leaving a lasting impression on both the guests and the hosts. Moreover, the word “family” in the name signifies the close-knit relationships we build with our clients. We treat them as if they were an extension of our own family, taking the time to understand their preferences, desires, and aspirations. This approach enables us to curate events and creations that align perfectly with their vision and personality. In essence, “Royal Family Events & Creations” represents a commitment to surpassing expectations and delivering experiences that are nothing short of extraordinary. It is an embodiment of our passion for making dreams come true and creating memories that will be cherished for a lifetime.

What inspired you to start your own business in event planning and creations?

The seeds of inspiration for my event planning and creations business were sown during my childhood, as I fondly recall attending the captivating wedding expos in Rochester, NY, and being enchanted by the magic of weddings themselves. Those experiences sparked

a deep passion within me, igniting the desire to craft unforgettable moments and bring joy to people’s lives through the art of event planning and creativity.

Before starting your business, what your professional background or career path?

Throughout my career path as an aspiring activist, I actively engaged in community outreach programs, volunteering with local organizations and initiatives that focused on addressing the needs of the homeless population. I worked tirelessly to raise awareness about their challenges and advocated for better support systems and resources to help them regain their footing. In the realm of LGBTQ+ rights, I participated in pride events, educational workshops, and collaborated with advocacy groups to promote inclusivity and equality for all individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. My aim was to create safe spaces where LGBTQ+ individuals could thrive and express themselves without fear of discrimination. The fight for racial justice and equality was another central aspect of my endeavors. I actively participated in peaceful protests and community dialogues, working alongside like-minded individuals to challenge systemic racism and advocate for meaningful reforms. I believed that every voice and life mattered, and I strived to be an ally in the ongoing struggle for justice. Addressing issues of drug and alcohol abuse was equally important to me. I volunteered with rehabilitation centers and support groups, aiding those seeking recovery and a chance at a healthier, more fulfilling life. My hope was to reduce the stigma surrounding addiction and promote a compassionate, non-judgmental approach

to supporting those on the path to recovery. In my pursuit of bringing the community back to the bright side, I actively organized and participated in community-building events, neighborhood clean-ups, and cultural celebrations. I believed in the power of unity and collaboration, and I sought to foster a strong sense of togetherness among residents, encouraging them to actively contribute to the betterment of their own neighborhoods. While my career path initially revolved around activism and social causes, my passion for event planning and creating unforgettable experiences eventually intertwined with my desire to make a positive impact. I realized that hosting meaningful events could serve as a powerful platform to raise funds, spread awareness, and bring people together for the causes I deeply cared about. This realization became the catalyst for the birth of “Royal Family Events & Creations,” where I could combine my passion for event planning with my unwavering commitment to social change, creating a business that not only celebrates special moments but also strives to make the world a better and more inclusive place.

Among all the events you’ve created, which type of event is your personal favorite to work on, and why?

Without a doubt, my personal favorite events to work on are the fundraisers and community-centric gatherings. The reason behind this preference is the immense sense of fulfillment and purpose that comes from making a positive impact on the lives of others.

Can you tell us about one of your most memorable and cherished event creations for a client?

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

The Autism Awareness fundraiser is more than just an event; it is a profound expression of love, acceptance, and advocacy. It all started to raise awareness about autism, dispel myths, and foster a greater understanding within our community. As parents of autistic children, my husband/business partner and I have personally experienced the challenges and triumphs that come with raising children on the autism spectrum. The event has evolved over the years, becoming a cherished tradition that brings together friends, family, and community members who share our passion for supporting individuals with autism. It’s a day filled with laughter, joy, and a shared commitment to making a positive difference in the lives of those with autism. One of the most rewarding aspects of this fundraiser is witnessing the genuine connections that form between attendees and individuals on the autism spectrum. Through various interactive activities and presentations, guests get a firsthand glimpse into the unique talents and perspectives of autistic individuals, breaking down barriers and promoting inclusivity. The outpouring of support we receive from the community is truly heartwarming. People come together, not just to donate or participate in the event, but also to show their genuine care and appreciation for neurodiversity. It creates an atmosphere of warmth and understanding, where everyone feels welcome and valued. For our family, this event is a celebration of our children’s uniqueness and a reminder of the strength and resilience they embody. It has also been a source of empowerment, as both Sharod and Sirenitii actively participate in various aspects of the fundraiser, proudly sharing their stories and talents with others. While all events hold a

special place in my heart, the Autism Awareness fundraiser stands out because of its deep personal connection and its capacity to make a positive impact on the lives of those in the autism community. It reaffirms the core values of “Royal Family Events & Creations” - to create experiences that matter, celebrate diversity, and contribute to a more compassionate and inclusive world.

Who would you say are your best and loyal clientele? What makes them stand out?

In the dynamic world of event planning, our most cherished and loyal clientele encompasses a diverse range of individuals, businesses, and organizations. From repeat customers who entrust us with their milestones time and again, to referrals that bear testament to our excellence, our client base is a mosaic of appreciation. Corporate partners seeking seamless conferences, startups igniting their brand with launch events, nonprofits fostering meaningful connections through galas – they all stand out through their unwavering trust, effective communication, and shared commitment to delivering exceptional experiences. What unites these invaluable clients is their appreciation for our attention to detail, flexibility in navigating the unexpected, and the imaginative flair we infuse into each endeavor. As we continue to build lasting relationships with these remarkable patrons, our dedication to understanding their visions and achieving their goals remains the cornerstone of our success.

As a woman entrepreneur, what has been your biggest achievement or success in owning your own business?

One of my most significant achievements in my journey as a woman entrepreneur

“What unites these invaluable clients is their appreciation for our attention to detail, flexibility in navigating the unexpected, and the imaginative flair we infuse into each endeavor.“

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

core commitment of my business. To achieve this, we have implemented a comprehensive approach that spans multiple fronts. In building our team, we prioritize inclusive hiring practices to attract diverse talent. Equal opportunity is a cornerstone, ensuring every team member has a chance to grow regardless of background. Diverse leadership is encouraged, with underrepresented individuals taking on leadership roles and contributing to decision-making. Regular diversity training fosters understanding, while open dialogues provide a safe space for discussions. When working with clients, we deeply consider diverse needs, and in supplier selection, we actively seek out businesses from marginalized communities. Community engagement underscores our dedication, and ongoing feedback loops drive improvement. Our marketing endeavors are inclusive, reflecting our commitment to diverse representation. Through these strategies, we endeavor to create an environment where diversity and inclusivity thrive, enriching our team and the experiences

What are your plans and aspirations for the future growth and expansion of “Royal Family Events & Creations?

At “Royal Family Events & Creations,” our future is defined by a strategic roadmap aimed at growth and distinction. Our journey ahead encompasses diverse services that span destination weddings, corporate retreats, and immersive themed parties. Innovating experiences through technology integration, interactive elements, and eco-conscious practices is central to our mission. We aspire to expand globally, forging partnerships that extend beyond borders and establishing a presence in international markets.

Sustainability is paramount, guiding us to minimize environmental impact while delivering exceptional events. Collaborative alliances with event-related businesses will enhance our comprehensive offerings. We are committed to nurturing our team’s growth, deepening client relationships, and actively engaging with our communities. Through these pursuits, we’re dedicated to securing a reputation as a premier event planning brand, while continuing to create unforgettable moments that shape the industry’s future.

Are there any particular regions or markets where you envision expanding your business in the future?

Undoubtedly, our vision for expanding “Royal Family Events & Creations” encompasses several promising regions and markets. We have our sights set on destination event hotspots renowned for their scenic beauty and allure. Metropolitan centers with thriving event scenes beckon, offering diverse opportunities for both corporate and private events. We’re keen on tapping into cultural and heritage locations, celebrating traditions that align with our commitment to diversity. Emerging markets with burgeoning economies hold potential for early establishment, while the virtual event realm offers innovative avenues. Luxury events and lifestyle markets resonate with our dedication to delivering sophistication. Moreover, our exploration extends to communitydriven and nonprofit sectors, allowing us to create meaningful experiences. By staying attuned to trends and client needs, we are poised to expand strategically and continue crafting exceptional events on a global scale.

What steps do you take to stay ahead

of the latest event planning and design trends?

Staying ahead of the ever-evolving landscape of event planning and design is an integral part of our approach to “Royal Family Events & Creations.” We actively engage in continuous research, leveraging industry publications, blogs, and social media platforms to keep abreast of the latest trends and emerging technologies. Networking at industry events, conferences, and trade shows provides invaluable insights and fosters connections with fellow professionals and vendors who are driving innovation. Collaborating closely with suppliers, design professionals, and creative minds ensures that our services are infused with fresh and contemporary concepts. By monitoring social media, seeking inspiration from diverse industries, and soliciting client feedback, we build a comprehensive understanding of the most relevant and captivating trends. Our commitment to ongoing training, team brainstorming, and a client-centric approach further solidifies our ability to create exceptional, trend-forward event experiences that captivate and inspire.

How do you maintain a healthy worklife balance while running a successful business.

Striking a healthy work-life balance while overseeing a thriving business is of paramount importance to me. I’ve established clear boundaries to delineate work and personal time, utilizing techniques like prioritization and delegation to manage responsibilities effectively. Embracing technology tools and creating designated workspaces ensure efficient operations while allowing for a seamless transition to personal pursuits. Regular breaks, physical activity, and

“I realized that hosting meaningful events could serve as a powerful platform to raise funds, spread awareness, and bring people together for the causes I deeply cared about.“

“Royal Family Events & Creations” represents a commitment to surpassing expectations and delivering experiences that are nothing short of extraordinary.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

wellness practices are integrated to manage stress and maintain a positive outlook. Quality time with loved ones is non-negotiable, and I prioritize self-care activities to rejuvenate. Learning to say no to non-essential commitments, along with flexibility and adaptability, is key in managing both spheres without compromise. Ongoing reflection and adjustment keep my work-life equilibrium in check, fostering a fulfilling and balanced lifestyle.

Have you faced any genderrelated biases or obstacles in the event planning industry, and how did you overcome them?

In the dynamic realm of event planning, gender-related biases and challenges can be encountered by women entrepreneurs, ranging from assumptions about leadership capabilities to unequal treatment and biases in client interactions.

To surmount these obstacles, I’ve found that cultivating self-confidence and assertiveness, networking with mentors and peers, and continually honing my skills have been pivotal. By participating in educational initiatives and workshops, I’ve equipped myself with the tools to address and counter gender bias effectively. Building a supportive team, showcasing success stories, and educating clients about my expertise have also played crucial roles in challenging biases and fostering a more inclusive environment. With a strong

online presence and a commitment to negotiation skills, I’ve been able to navigate gender-related hurdles and establish my competence in the event planning industry.

Where do you see “Royalty Family Events & Creations” in the next five years, and what exciting projects do you have in the pipeline?

In the next five years, “Royalty Family Events & Creations” is poised to emerge as a prominent and revered entity within the event planning industry. Our reach will expand to encompass diverse regions and markets, showcasing our prowess in both local and destination events.

A commitment to innovation and trendsetting will underscore our ability to deliver unparalleled experiences

that mirror our clients’ visions. Notably, a highlight on our horizon is the Autism Awareness fundraiser, a project that echoes our devotion to impactful causes and community engagement. Collaborating with local advocates, this initiative seeks to raise awareness while celebrating diversity and inclusion. Moreover, we’re thrilled to unveil a series of exclusive themed events that will transcend conventional boundaries and immerse attendees in imaginative experiences. Keeping pace with the digital shift, we are venturing into virtual event planning, aiming to deliver cutting-edge technologyinfused, engaging virtual experiences.

Anchored by our values of diversity, innovation, and client satisfaction, “Royalty Family Events & Creations” is poised to make an indelible mark on the event planning landscape, fueled by socially impactful endeavors, creative thematic events, and the evolution of virtual experiences.

“I wanted to offer a personalized experience where clients would feel cherished and esteemed throughout the entire process.”

SENSITIVITY TRAINING FOR YOUR SOUL

BY LISA WAGNER

Creatively Growing Your Own Self-Compassion

Currently, we are all living through a space and time that kindness, compassion and sensitivity towards ourselves and others seems to be sadly lacking. Since Covid, it appears that we have lost our way socially and personally. Social media also has exacerbated the problem. People have become desensitized to how their words and actions affect one another. We have seemingly forgotten how did just talk to one another with common decency and mindfulness. But there is a way for us to come back to a place of loving kindness and it begins with every one of us.

When I take time to notice how I am speaking about and to myself, it helps me to understand where I am at mentally when I speak to others. You can only give what you’ve learned to grace yourself with. Your capacity for compassion can be gauged by how you speak to yourself. Growing our self-compassion is what will bring us back to something that feels more loving, accepting, and peaceful. This can be a very difficult practice, especially when we are feeling hurt, angry, or simply overwhelmed. We are especially hard on ourselves and those we love the most. It can take a toll on our relationships and our mental state. We feel alone and lost when we fail to have or make social connections that are compassionate and kind.

Let’s begin with you and your inner dialogue first. Picture yourself during a time that you remember that you had low self-esteem or had been deeply hurt or traumatized. How did you speak to yourself? Were you kind and loving or

did you feel shame and embarrassment? When we decide to be kind and loving, it feels like a hug from your angels. This kindness and love, even silently, when directed towards others who may be hurting us, allows us the grace to rest and know that we, too are loved. When we come from a place of fear and anger, no matter who it is aimed at, we set ourselves up for receiving that in return. This karmic energy is detrimental not only to our own light and spirit but also the light and spirit of all other beings.

From where I sit, it seems as though our job energetically is that we be our highest, deepest, and most loving selves. Remembering that our vibration matters. I know from so many personal experiences how difficult it can be to bring yourself into a space of love when we are seeing red. When each of us is triggered because of past traumas, current pain, or horrific injustices, we need to find a way to deal with that in a productive and loving manner. This is a challenge that I do not take lightly and frankly, don’t always succeed at. And that’s OK to have a low day, if you recognize that you didn’t do your best work and that tomorrow you get to try again. Adding humiliation around a day that you weren’t at your best doesn’t help us improve. We are allowed days that we can be angry, hurt, in pain or confused. It’s part of the human experience and life is hard. It’s about what you do going forward that is the most loving and kind thing you can do for yourself. That’s your golden ticket. It shapes who you are, who you are becoming and who you hope to be when you use your own ability to be conscientious of the energy that you put out.

Early childhood trauma can make this process more difficult than it is for others who have been more fortunate in life. Take the time to find an amazing therapist. Then surround yourself with supportive, non-judgmental people. They can be your best cheerleaders as they guide and support you while discovering creative ways to deal with your pain and your journey towards healing.

Being vulnerable enough to hear how we can do better in ways that are nourishing and feel supportive help raise you up so that you may now lead with love. Professional therapy gives you a toolbox that can be used at any time we slip backwards or feel lost. This can take time to find someone that aligns with your heart, but it is work worth doing. It builds resilience, strength and the capacity for compassion and empathy. Especially for your own soul. My own amazing therapist is a fellow creator and gives me wonderful assignments to allow me to redirect my pain into something that brings me back to love while processing difficult emotions and situations. It’s been a godsend!

We each have had times when we called on someone to help us and what they had to offer felt like the antithesis of compassion or empathy. This is especially true for people that are not privileged. How many times have we, as women, been told we are being hysterical or to calm down? That what is happening to us isn’t that big a deal and we should have no problem with how we are being treated because we are “overreacting.” This simply is not OK. The most powerful way to stop it is for each of us to begin our own self-healing and self-love practices.

Each day we need to begin prioritizing our well-being. We may then become vessels for change in the world. My hope for you is that you realize your own power. It is infinite and nothing to be afraid of. You are a light worker that has the capacity to lead with love, empathy and sensitivity to yourself, your feelings, and the heart of all others.

This is important work that we have been sent here to do. We are expected to show up each day and keep moving forward. When we see horrible images on the news or experience firsthand from those that we thought we could trust, were here to serve us, or seemed like safe places to rest and realize things aren’t what we had hoped for, it can be incredibly painful. The most loving thing we can do is to raise ourselves up and institute loving boundaries. This may be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do but it’s what saves us from choosing fear. It allows us to self- soothe and move forward with love in our hearts.

One of the hardest practices that I do is self-forgiveness. I ask that my angels shine their loving light around me and then slowly push it outward towards someone who has hurt me. I do this in stages, beginning with someone who

had actions that were off-putting and work my way up to the most egregious acts that have been wielded against me. For each person, I mentally say that I forgive them. I send them love and light. The last ones that I send them to are nearly impossible, but I always try. Once I get to the as far as my heart can go that day, I gather up all the light that I’ve sent to each of those people, and

what it now looks like in my mind after I practice radical forgiveness, it is like a spring cleaning of the energy around me and I feel lighter, happier, and so much more peaceful.

I bring it back to myself so that I may now do the work of forgiving myself. It is the hardest part of that practice. You begin to realize how many things you’ve never forgiven yourself for and what that has done to your spirit, to the spirit of those you love and everyone you’ve ever touched. It’s quite an eyeopening experience. But when I picture

I’m going to ask you to do something for yourself: your mission this month is to do your own sensitivity training. What part of your story need some compassion and forgiveness? Where could you offer yourself grace? Then check back in with your heart. Notice a calmness that begins to occur when you offer yourself the capacity to step out of ego and back into love. This is the gift that your heart has been longing for. It is what will allow each of us to come back to more common decency and compassion. It opens our capacity, as well, to be there for others in a way that honors them. It also helps you to remember how many beautiful gifts you have to offer the world. You are beautiful, perfect, and meant for incredible things.

“Each day we need to begin prioritizing our well-being. We may then become vessels for change in the world.”

DEFINING SUCCESS

BY BONNIE FLOYD

How do you define success? It’s a very important question, for so many different types of reasons.

Success has been defined as the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. It has also been defined as the good or bad outcome of an undertaking. I’ve decided to analyze the outcome of a recent event in order to discuss the concept of success.

Yesterday, I took part in a local vendor event. I decided to sell the polymer clay jewelry and accessories that I’ve been designing for the past several years. I After all, recently have spent a considerable amount of time, as well as money, preparing for this event. I also invested my time in advertising my involvement in this show.

I nervously anticipated this new venue, hoping for a good turnout. I arrived early at the site, carefully arranging my table display with appropriate colors for the upcoming Fourth of July weekend.

The 10 a.m. start time of the show soon approached. I wished each of my fellow vendors success throughout the day with their sales. We each waited for customers to trickle in. The air outside was thick and heavy. It was a hot and humid day, with intermittent rain forecasted.

As vendors, we waited, but very few customers arrived. A few showed up, here and there. I greeted each new potential customer who passed my table with a smile, saying hello, and asking how they were doing. I informed them that I had created everything on my table from polymer clay. Most everyone shared that I had designed very beautiful jewelry.

I mentioned to the vendor set up next to

me that this event was supposed to have a food truck, as well as a lemonade stand, as additional attractions for attendees. Neither of these ever materialized. As the day unfolded, I began to feel increasingly discouraged.

I actually decided to give up seeing some of my regular clients the last couple of days before this vendor event, so as to finish preparing for this event. What was I thinking? I was starting to feel so very foolish at this point.

At this point, I was beginning to feel very familiar emotions creep in: depression, malaise, disappointment, and discouragement. Thankfully, my training as a clinical psychologist quickly “kicked in.” I began to think that I don’t need to feel this way.

After all, I train clients in cognitivebehavioral therapy, a modality that allows individuals to learn how to alter maladaptive thought patterns, in order to replace them with healthier ones. In so doing, distressing emotions, such as anxiety and depression, can successfully be treated.

I started first by reminding myself that today’s event is but one event of many such events. There will be other events. There can’t possibly be many sales if the event itself is poorly attended, obviously. This is not a reflection on the quality of the merchandise that I have produced. (Thankfully, this hasn’t been a dominant thought in my mind anyway).

Next, I thought of alternatives to taking part in vendor events themselves. Vendor events always involve participation fees, plus the number of hours spent traveling to and from the sites where the events are held, setting up and tearing down

your display, and vending during the event itself.

I could always work on redesigning my Etsy site, I started to think. I could take updated photos, with better backgrounds. I could revise my product descriptions, pricing structure, shipping costs, etc. Of course, this will initially involve a lot of up-front work. Once complete, it offers the potential of a passive income stream.

In addition to revising my Etsy site, I began thinking more about promoting my jewelry to local hair salons. This could potentially be another possibility for passive income over time. I might bring up the idea to my own hairdresser during my next hair appointment, which is next week.

After thinking about all of these options for earning money, I thought about another definition of what truly defines success. I think that it actually means feeling content with the relationships with the ones you truly love in your life. Yesterday, my daughter reminded me that it was a year ago that we had seen the movie Elvis, plus went to the Buffalo Zoo for ZooMagination. This was a magical milestone, in so many ways.

My daughter has Stage IIIc melanoma. Last December, I wasn’t so sure she would even be alive at the beginning of this year. She was experiencing severe side effects of Keytruda, the immunotherapy used to treat her skin cancer. Yesterday, she joined me at the vendor event. We had lunch together. I gave her a pair of earrings that she especially liked. So yes, the event was very much a true success.

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WHAT IS THERAPEUTIC GROUP YOGA?

BY KAITLYN VITTOZZI

With 36 million people practicing yoga in the United States, if you aren’t familiar with the jargon, it can be hard to sift through what yoga might be helpful for you or where to get started. Due to the rise of social media and pop culture, many people think of yoga and think they may not be able to participate because they can’t touch their foot to the back of their head or do a headstand. If you share those hesitancies to step into a group yoga class, therapeutic group yoga is probably for you!

The NIH defines therapeutic yoga as: the application of yoga postures and practice to the treatment of health conditions and involves instruction in yogic practices and teachings to prevent reduce or alleviate structural, physiological, emotional and spiritual pain, suffering or limitations.

Therapeutic Yoga Classes are taught by certified yoga therapists or yoga instructors with specialized instruction. Unlike many yoga classes that aim to use yoga as a workout or to get you into a fancy posture, therapeutic yoga uses safe movement and self-inquiry so you can get to know yourself a bit better. Our lives are busy and it often pulls us out of the present moment. The aim of these classes is to get you to feel what’s happening now, not what we need to do later or reliving what we feel like we messed up three months ago. Class will generally look like gentle joint warmups, breath and movement, slower postures designed to help you feel what’s happening in the moment, rest, and meditation.

All postures are held around the concept of a therapeutic edge –somewhere you can feel sensation in your body without any pain. In a group class, everyone might be different! You might reach your arm over your head and feel it in your shoulder, your neighbor might feel it in her hand, someone on the other side of the room might not be able to lift his arm all the way overhead but he can certainly find a pain-free place to stay, breathe, and practice present moment awareness.

Classes are fully trauma informed, and since you don’t need to conform to the rest of the class, you can back off if anything feels overwhelming. Take a gentler version of the posture or sit on your mat and breathe with some water until you feel like you are more present and in control again. According to the National Council for Mental Wellbeing, 70% of adults in the United States have experienced a traumatic event. “Extreme stress overwhelms the person’s capacity to cope. There is a direct correlation between trauma and physical health conditions such as diabetes, COPD, heart disease, cancer, and high blood pressure.” Therapeutic yoga offers a safe place for an hour to practice some of those coping tools on your yoga mat. Experience yourself under a slight amount of stress, notice your breath in an uncomfortable situation, learn meditation techniques you can take with you when you feel overwhelmed.

Why yoga for body image and eating

disorders? Our bodies give us a lot of information every day, but our culture is usually so fast paced and so focused on thinking, we rarely slow down to feel it. After experiencing trauma or abuse it is common for the brain to feel disconnected from your own body. By listening to inquiry cues during a therapeutic yoga class, a participant may start to reconnect to their body and create a more neutral relationship with it. For example, instead of the narrative of “I hate my arms” they may simply move toward the direct experience “I didn’t realize how tired my arms feel today.” Therapeutic yoga can be a chance to learn to move intuitively instead of from a place of forced exertion or overexercise. What would it feel like to apply gentleness to yourself?

FAQ:

What if I’m injured? Get clearance from doctor for movement, and then attend anyway. If there is a posture or breath technique that’s not been deemed safe for you to do, find somewhere else your body wants to be until the class moves on. Modifications are offered for all postures. If you sit quietly, breathe and pay attention to yourself, you will get a benefit from class.

It hurts to get on the floor. You are more than welcome to stay in a chair for the entire class.

If I’m new to yoga, will I know what to do? The beauty of these classes is that there is no right or wrong. Most participants practice with their eyes

“Unlike many yoga classes that aim to use yoga as a workout or to get you into a fancy posture, therapeutic yoga uses safe movement and self-inquiry so you can get to know yourself a bit better.”

“Our bodies give us a lot of information every day, but our culture is usually so fast paced and so focused on thinking, we rarely slow down to feel it.”

closed, so the whole class might be doing something different.

I have tried meditating and my brain runs wild, what if I can’t do it? That is totally normal! Admitting you have a busy brain is the first step toward building your meditation practice. The physical postures of class are

designed to make meditation easier. If you are only able to stay focused for 10 seconds the first class, it might be 30 the next class, and before you know it you are meditating for 5 or 10 minutes with more ease.

How do I sign up for a class? Email Kaitlyn@tozziyoga.com or call

me at (585) 200-7209 to join our next evening session. Do you need a different time slot or want the therapeutic yoga brought to your office? Reach out!