Amanda Williams was photographed on location for the “Tea Party” by the amazing Kameron Ashford.
Dear Rochester Woman Online Community,
Welcome to the latest edition of Rochester Woman Online! We are thrilled to bring you another inspiring issue filled with stories that celebrate the incredible people and vibrant community of Rochester.
This month, we invite you to take a seat at the table with our amazing cover woman, Amanda Williams. Amanda is more than just an event planner—she’s a visionary, a community leader, and a driving force behind the transformation of how we connect and celebrate here in Rochester. Known for her warm hospitality and exquisite attention to detail, Amanda has made a name for herself both locally and beyond. In this exclusive feature, she shares her journey, her passion for bringing people together, and her vision for the future of event planning.
But that’s not all! We are excited to shine a spotlight on other women who inspire, including the talented Chef Ashlee Perez and the dynamic Spa Manager Sheila Bracewell from the Woodcliff Hotel and Spa. Their stories of perseverance, creativity, and leadership are sure to motivate and uplift you.
In our Featured Men column, we introduce you to Angelo Piperni, the man behind the Always Positive brand. His story is one of resilience and the power of a positive mindset—a message we all could use.
And don’t miss our furry friends from Rochester Animal Services, who make a special appearance in this edition, reminding us of the joy and companionship our four-legged companions bring to our lives.
For our Queen of Arts column, we highlight the amazing Beala Golec, whose artistry continues to inspire and captivate audiences far and wide.
As always, this edition is packed with upcoming events, fabulous advertisers, and features that showcase the best of what our community has to offer. For over 16 years, Rochester Woman Online has been your premier online women’s publication, and we couldn’t be prouder of the stories we get to share with you each month.
So grab your favorite drink, settle in, and enjoy this incredible issue! Happy reading!
Kelly Breuer
{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }
PUBLISHER
FREELANCE EDITOR
CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN
LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER
PHOTOGRAPHY
Kelly Breuer
Marisa Zeppieri
Kelly Breuer WeShootFilms
Kameron Ashford
Julie Oldfield
Inga Mucha
Brandon Vick WeShootFilms
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Amanda Williams
Lisa Wagner
Denise “Karma” Clifford
Bonnie Floyd
Kelly Metras
Kelly Bush
Kelly Lisciandro
Kim Fischer
Sheryl Vega
Beata Golec
The ACS Team
Joanne Ryan
Angelo Pipierni
Anne Leah Mauro
Christa Zangara
Stephanie King
Christine Piacentino
Lori Bruton
ADVERTISING SALES
SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR
WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT
Kelly Breuer
Network Rochester
Network Rochester
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
DISHING THE TEA WITH AMANDA WILLIAMS
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Amanda Williams, a visionary event planner and community leader, is transforming the way people in Rochester connect and celebrate. Known for her warm hospitality and exquisite attention to detail, Amanda has made a name for herself by creating events that are not only memorable but also meaningful. Her signature event, “A Seat At The Table Tea Party,” has become a beloved tradition, offering women a unique opportunity to gather in a space filled with beauty, kindness, and a sense of belonging. With a background in education and a natural gift for organization, Amanda has seamlessly combined her love for event planning with her passion for community engagement, making a significant impact in her city and beyond.
Amanda’s journey into event planning started at a young age, inspired by her innate ability to bring people together. From organizing neighborhood kickball games and tea parties as a child to hosting elaborate themed events as an adult, Amanda’s life has been marked by a deep commitment to community building and a passion for creating beautiful spaces. Her story is one of resilience, creativity, and faith, and she continues to inspire others through her work and her unwavering belief in the power of connection. As Amanda looks to the future, her vision for “A Seat At The Table Tea Party” includes expanding its reach to other states, sharing her message of hospitality, love, and empowerment with women across the country.
PHOTOS BY KAMERON ASHFORD
Could you share a bit about your background and what led you to become involved in event planning and community engagement?
Event planning and hosting have always been a part of my life—it’s embedded in my DNA. As a young girl, I was the one who gathered all the neighborhood kids for tea parties on my porch, organized kickball games in an abandoned lot,
What inspired the creation of “A Seat At The Table Tea Party,” and how did it all begin?
It started with my discontentment with the types of events we have in Rochester. I admired the beautiful and lavish gatherings I would see on social media in bigger cities like Atlanta, California, and Texas, and I was disappointed that we didn’t have anything like that locally. So, in 2022, I decided to host a Tea Party. What began as a selfish desire to dress up for the day evolved into a gathering with a deeper meaning. I wanted to create a space where all women could dress up, be in a room void of competition and cattiness, embrace their uniqueness, and feel a sense of belonging.
older, I planned themed birthday parties for myself, and once I had children, I expanded my creativity through their birthday parties. Years of relationship building and mentoring others have helped my community and connections grow tremendously. I truly love using hospitality and my passion for creating beautiful spaces to bring people together.
What is the main mission or purpose behind hosting these tea parties?
I want the truth of the Gospel of Christ to be expressed beyond words. People often preach Jesus but don’t always live and love like Him. In scripture, Jesus was often found sitting at tables with the most peculiar people—eating, conversing, teaching, and telling stories. He was hospitable and had a way of welcoming everyone into His presence. These Tea Parties are meant to demonstrate that same hospitality, love, and welcome. It’s a way to see the goodness of God lived out through my team members as they greet and host. It’s expressed through the detailed decor that makes every guest feel thought of and important. It’s experienced as women gather around the tables, eating, laughing, sharing
“I always choose to be grateful for the opportunities that I have instead of feeling overwhelmed with them.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
hugs and tears as they listen to one another’s stories. Everyone in that room experiences the love and presence of God that permeates through every detail and moment. It changes their lives, how they interact with other women, how they see themselves, and how they see God!
Can you describe the atmosphere and experience you aim to create for attendees of your tea parties?
Every moment of planning centers around everyone in that room knowing they are welcome, seen, and loved. This applies not only to the guests but also to the venue staff. How my team engages with them and their experience throughout the event is equally as important as the experience of the attendees. I am extremely intentional in curating an atmosphere of extreme kindness, thoughtfulness, and regard. When you attend the tea party, I want everyone to feel like the most important person in the room because they are! All hold value, all have purpose, and all are loved by the Father.
Your custom balloon creations are quite unique. How did you learn this art form, and what sparked your interest in it?
I never intended to do balloon garlands. It started when my sister saw a photo of one on Google back in 2018 and asked if I could try to make one for my nephew’s party. I had no idea what I was doing, but I attempted it, and it came out pretty good for someone who had no clue. From there, I would make them for family gatherings, and
it wasn’t until COVID that my skill became known to others. I began creating mini balloon garlands and lawn pillars and delivering them to people so they could celebrate special moments at home while the world was shut down. Ever since then, I’ve been sought after for different balloon displays.
What are some of the challenges you’ve faced in learning and perfecting balloon creations, and how have you overcome them?
Balloon displays used to take me 5-6 hours to complete, including prepping and assembling. Though I enjoyed the creative outlet, it was taking up too much time. I am always looking for a more efficient way, so I began exploring different techniques and methods to cut down my prep time without impacting the quality of my work. Now I can prepare and set up within 2-3 hours.
How do you incorporate your custom balloon designs into the tea party experience?
For the first tea party, I set up my own balloon display for the main stage area, saving me about $800. I love having a skill set that not only makes me money but also saves me money. However, I decided not to do balloons this year to focus on other aspects of the gathering.
What do you feel sets your custom balloon creations apart from others in the industry?
I don’t focus on what others are doing with the intent to “one-up”
them. I believe that “your gifts will make room for you.” My focus is to remain consistent, and integral, invest in myself and my craft, and provide top-notch customer service. With this business model, you don’t need to worry about standing out or being chosen by customers. God’s favor is enough to open doors that no person can shut. I also love teaching others EVERYTHING that I know. In addition to creating balloon displays, I also train aspiring balloon garland artists, providing a hands-on workshop to jump-start their journey in the industry. Teaching is truly my passion.
How do you balance the artistic side of your work with the logistical aspects of event planning?
They actually work together. My creativity and vision thrive around organization! When I begin writing and mapping out logistics, my imagination runs wild with possibilities. Having structure around the “who, what, when, where, why” allows incredible ideas to flow and helps me create unforgettable gatherings. When there’s a plan in place, anything is possible!
Tell us about a memorable event or tea party you’ve hosted and what made it special.
It’s hard to narrow it down to just one. Every gathering I’ve hosted has produced unforgettable moments and incredible testimonies. But if I had to choose one, it would be the famous Pink Carriage at this year’s Tea Party (I’m standing in it on the front cover
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“We are much stronger together. I often refer to the strength of an ant colony. Their ability to work together enables them to build such efficient communities.”
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
photo). I saw it at a local store back in May and posted a photo of me standing in front of it with sad puppy eyes because I wanted it so badly but didn’t have the money to purchase it. A week and a half before the Tea Party, the store manager called to let me know they marked it down on sale, but it was still out of my price range. I jokingly posted an update on Facebook, and a few friends encouraged me to ask for contributions. I hesitated but decided to throw it out there, and within 45 minutes, over 50 people sent money to my Cash App and Venmo. I was blown away by their generosity and support. Seeing all the attendees enjoying themselves, taking photos and videos on the carriage warmed my heart because my community made that happen!
What are some key ingredients for a successful and memorable event, in your opinion?
Organization and communication are huge to me. They can either make or break your guest experience. They are crucial throughout the entire process, not just on the day of the event. People want to walk into a room and feel safe and settled. If everyone is scrambling and there’s confusion or miscommunication, it interferes with the guests’ ability to engage and receive. You can have the most elaborate decor and the best speakers, but if everything is running behind, your team is all over the place, and there are malfunctions and awkward moments, it will leave guests not wanting to attend your event again. Excellence should always be the standard.
How do you plan and organize
each tea party to ensure everything runs smoothly?
I write and draw everything out. A vision that’s not documented on paper is an idea waiting to fail. I map out timelines to ensure I give myself enough time to execute. Then, I start the framework of who, when, where, what, and why. Answering those questions with clarity helps me identify everything and everyone I need. From there, I hash out the small details and keep everyone informed. This means constant communication with my team and attendees. I also create digital mock-ups for my events so my vision is easily translated to my team for efficient execution.
What advice would you give to someone interested in starting their own event planning business or organizing community events?
Know your “why” and protect that. Don’t do things just for money; it’s easy to start for the wrong reasons. Event planning and community events are centered around “hosting,” which is about “hospitality.” Hospitality is more than setting tables and sending invites. It’s about giving people an experience they didn’t know they needed. Serve them and leave a lasting impact. That takes passion, humility, prayer, and preferring others above yourself. Curate gatherings around what people need, not just what will make you money.
How has your background in education influenced your approach to event planning and community engagement?
I’ve always had an administrative gift. Every past experience has been a training ground for what I do today. I’ve acquired wisdom along the way, and every job, conversation, relationship, opportunity, connection, project, and encounter has contributed to sharpening my gifts and igniting my passion.
Can you share a few tips for creating a welcoming and inclusive atmosphere at events?
I put myself in the shoes of the attendees. If I were attending my event, what would I like to feel, see, smell, hear, and experience? This goes from preevent communication to the smallest details at the event. Little things make a huge difference, like signage to help people know where to go and avoid confusion, team members stationed around the room to greet, answer questions, and give directions, refreshments and essentials in easy-access places, and every team member’s face saying, “I want you here, and I’m here to help you.” Those things are just as important as decor and entertainment.
What future goals or plans do you have for your tea parties and event planning endeavors?
I plan to continue allowing the gatherings to grow and evolve organically. I want the Tea Parties to extend beyond Rochester and reach other cities. I want to develop more relationships in other communities with organizations and businesses and become a household name for empowerment, encouragement, and education.
“ I spend a lot of time MENTORING other women. All the women I serve are what keep me going. Their TRANSFORMATION is what reminds me that my work is NOT IN VAIN.”
“I put myself in the shoes of the attendees. If I were attending my event, what would I like to feel, see, smell, hear, and experience?”
Meet Chef Ashley Perez, a culinary artist whose journey has taken her from the vibrant streets of Peru to the bustling kitchens of Rochester, NY. Born in the United States and raised in Peru, Ashley’s passion for cooking was ignited at a young age, inspired by the rich flavors and culinary traditions of her Peruvian heritage. Today, at just 23 years old, she has already made a name for herself in the culinary world, blending traditional Peruvian techniques with modern gastronomy to create unique and tantalizing dishes.
In this exclusive interview, Ashley shares her journey from a curious child watching culinary shows in Peru to becoming a celebrated chef in Rochester. She opens up about her experiences, challenges, and inspirations, offering a glimpse into the world of a young chef determined to leave her mark on the culinary scene. With a deep respect for local ingredients and a passion for sustainable practices, Ashley is committed to not only delighting palates but also contributing to the community through her culinary artistry.
many culinary TV shows, especially those focused on Peruvian cuisine, and I loved replicating them at home for dinner or breakfast. My parents always supported my cooking skills and encouraged me to create my path in the culinary world.
Growing up in Peru must have been quite an experience. How did your upbringing influence your culinary style?
Peru is internationally known for having one of the best gastronomies
difficult decision?
I’ve always been curious to visit new places, travel, and learn about new cultures. Moving to Rochester wasn’t something I planned, but sometimes life takes you where you need to be.
Where did you receive your training as a chef? What was that experience like?
I had the opportunity to study at the best culinary school in South America, Gastronomy and Culinary Arts at Le Cordon Bleu Peru. My time there was incredibly enriching; I met people from around the world and learned both classic and modern techniques. I also had the chance to study pastry, wine, and spirits. It was one of the best times of my life!
Interview Questions and Answers
Can you tell us a bit about yourself and your background? How did you get started in the culinary world? I started in the culinary world as a kid, thanks to my parents. I was born in the US but raised in Peru due to their job. Growing up, I watched
in the world, and it has definitively had a positive impact on my culinary style and the way I perceive food. I learned antique culinary techniques and about Peruvian produce firsthand, which are hard to find outside the country due to the unique climate, soil, and altitude. Cooking is not just putting elements together to make a dish; behind it all lies ancient history, local resources, and culture.
What inspired you to move from Peru to Rochester, NY? Was it a
At just 23 years old, you’ve already gained a diverse range of culinary experiences. How did you manage to achieve such a varied background?
Organization and a little help are all you need. I managed my time well and chose wisely where I wanted to work. With the help of Le Cordon Bleu Peru, I received the opportunity to work in Spain. After that, it was all up to me—showing my best and learning from the best around me.
How does your family feel about your decision to live in Rochester instead of staying in your hometown? My family is my biggest support; they have always encouraged me to
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }
“Meet Chef Ashley Perez, a culinary artist whose journey has taken her from the vibrant streets of Peru to the bustling kitchens of Rochester, NY.”
be the best version of myself and do what I feel is right. They are thrilled with what I have achieved through the years.
Every chef faces challenges. What has been the biggest challenge in your culinary journey so far?
Being a young woman in the industry has been quite a challenge. Sometimes, people decide not to take you seriously because of how you look. One of my personal and biggest challenges is proving that I’m capable of what I do and that I’m capable of even more.
Can you give us a glimpse into any exciting menu options or dishes you’re planning to introduce in the near future?
I can’t reveal any future projects we’re working on, but I can say that I’m excited about the upcoming fall season to come.
or techniques that you incorporate into your dishes here in Rochester? I have had opportunities to add Peruvian techniques to dishes to reflect my own style. Eventually, I would like to include more flavors, not only in dishes but also in drinks. Sustainability and locally sourced ingredients are becoming increasingly important in the culinary world.
How do you approach these aspects
made of while contributing to the city’s economic prosperity.
Have you encountered any surprising or unexpected culinary trends or preferences among diners in Rochester?
The famous garbage plate was an unexpected dish to try—something different! Another thing I’ve noticed in Rochester is that most restaurants serve food that caters to customers’ preferences or likes, which sometimes means not thinking outside the box.
What do you enjoy most about being a chef in Rochester? How does the culinary scene here compare to other places you’ve lived or worked?
One of the first things that blew my mind when I started working in Rochester was the friendly work environment. From my perspective, this has been the friendliest environment I’ve ever worked in. Rochester is a city that allows growth, both professionally and personally. Are there any specific Peruvian flavors
in your cooking?
At Horizons Modern Kitchen, we have a culture of recycling. I believe sustainability is a way to be creative in the kitchen. Using different techniques to develop and prepare items helps minimize the environmental and social impact of food. Working with local and organic producers also has a big cultural impact on our community. I like to source locally for product freshness and quality. It’s also a way to show visitors what Rochester is
Beyond cooking, are there other aspects of the culinary industry that you’re passionate about exploring or mastering?
Absolutely! One of the things I want to do in the future is to get my master’s degree in Modern Pâtisserie. I have always admired the way pastry chefs innovate and apply new techniques to create artistic desserts. I would also like to explore the world of wine more deeply. During culinary school, I learned the basics of wine and how different they are around the world. It’s such an interesting topic! Becoming a sommelier is something I’m willing to pursue someday.
What advice would you give to aspiring chefs who are just starting their culinary careers?
{
“My parents always supported my cooking skills and encouraged me to create my path in the culinary world.”
Think about it twice! It’s an interesting, passion-filled, and hard-working journey. To enjoy this path, you must love what you do. And always be willing to increase your knowledge. There’s always something new to learn and apply to your style.
How do you stay creative in the kitchen? Are there specific rituals or practices that help you develop new dishes?
I have a creative and dreamy brain; I always write down any idea that comes to my head, no matter where I am or what I’m doing. When the time comes to develop new dishes, I read all my notes, realistically organize my ideas, and go from there.
Rochester is known for its festivals and community events. Have you had the opportunity to participate in any local food events? What was
that experience like?
Unfortunately, I haven’t yet had the opportunity to attend any festivals or community events. But I would love to participate in some upcoming events, especially fundraisers and charities for dogs in need.
MEET SHEILA BRACEWELL
PHOTOS BY BRANDON VICK
INTRODUCTION
Sheila Bracewell is a dynamic force in the spa and wellness industry, with a career that reflects her passion for health, fitness, and exceptional client experiences. Starting her professional journey in group travel consulting, Sheila transitioned into the wellness sector, where she has made a significant impact as a sports massage therapist and spa management leader. With a strong foundation in fitness and a natural ability to connect with others, Sheila’s career has evolved into a role that allows her to blend her love for sports with her dedication to promoting well-being.
Her journey from the fastpaced world of travel to the serene and restorative environment of spas is a testament to her adaptability and commitment to personal growth. Throughout her career, Sheila has worked in various spa settings, each experience enriching her understanding of the industry and shaping her approach to leadership. As the current Spa Director at Woodcliff, Sheila is passionate about enhancing the guest experience, fostering a balanced work-life environment for her team, and driving the spa’s continued success.
to wellness and spa management?
I began my career in the travel industry, working as a group travel coordinator for airlines and several tour companies. However, as the industry landscape changed, I found myself burned out from the 1012 hour workdays. Recognizing the need for a change, I took some time off to recharge, focusing on activities like surfing, working out, and prioritizing my well-being.
the next evolution of my journey.
Throughout my career, I’ve always been driven by passion and a strong work ethic, which made it easy for me to move into management roles. I also took the initiative to teach myself the business side of the industry, as I’ve always been interested in the numbers and profitability. This well-rounded perspective has been invaluable in my current role.
You’ve had a diverse career working in various spa settings. How have these experiences shaped your approach to spa management?
Starting out as a service provider is crucial for understanding both the operational and experiential aspects of the business. It gives you firsthand insight into client interactions and the intricacies of delivering high-quality services.
Can you share with us your journey into the spa and wellness industry, starting from your career in group travel consulting to becoming a sports massage therapist? What inspired you to transition from the travel industry
My passion for sports and fitness has always been strong—I’ve worked in fitness centers, played, and coached teams from high school through college. My mom suggested I consider massage therapy, noticing that I was already helping people with their physical aches and pains. Following her advice, I enrolled in massage school, and from the moment I began, I knew I had found my calling. Combining my love for sports with my desire to help others made this the perfect career path for me, with wellness being
Diversity in a career leads to growth. Every experience, whether good or bad, offers something valuable that contributes to your next evolution. In the spa industry, it’s especially important to bring a variety of skills to a leadership role.
Could you tell us about a pivotal moment or experience that significantly influenced your career path in the spa industry?
Early in my career, I worked on a
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }
“ These experiences have been invaluable in shaping my approach to spa management, staff management, and client relations.”
project to help other spa directors understand their numbers and profitability. During this time, I realized I had a real knack for financial analysis and strategy, which is somewhat rare in our industry. This ‘aha’ moment motivated me to focus on elevating that skill set. Since then, I’ve dedicated myself to mastering the business side of spa management, ensuring that my decisions are both client-focused and financially sound.
How did your role as Spa Lead for 70 massage therapists at Burke Williams Day Spa prepare you for leadership positions later in your career?
Managing 70 massage therapists is a significant responsibility that requires wearing many hats and excelling at multitasking. This role taught me the importance of organization, multitasking, and maintaining a high level of efficiency. Working at a spa with a high-profile clientele also instilled in me the importance of delivering exceptional customer service and maintaining discretion at all times. These experiences have been invaluable in shaping my approach to spa management, staff management, and client relations.
At Hilton, I was honored to be chosen for special projects and to serve on task forces at other properties, which was a testament to my expertise and reliability. Winning the EDGE Award with Marriott was another incredible highlight—an unexpected but amazing surprise. The key to winning that award was having a team that trusted me and the process. It’s challenging to achieve, but when it comes together, the results are truly amazing.
and it was rewarding to see my hard work and dedication acknowledged.
You mentioned your passion for wellness and work-life balance. How do you integrate these values into the spa environment at Woodcliff?
I’m excited about continuing to deepen the wellness aspects of our offerings. With the completion of our remodel, our goal is to develop programming that utilizes our beautiful grounds and introduces signature services. I’ve also written some blogs on topics like cold water therapy and functional fitness, which will be shared soon.
Winning the Marriott EDGE Award for Spa Discipline in 2016 must have been a significant accomplishment. How did that recognition impact your career?
What achievements are you most proud of during your time as Director of Spa & Fitness for Hilton and Marriott?
Winning the EDGE Award with Marriott was a standout moment in my career. It was an unexpected but thrilling recognition that opened doors to more visibility at spa events and conferences. Being approached by peers for advice and insights was incredibly gratifying,
I am committed to ensuring that my management staff maintains a healthy work-life balance, and I am equally dedicated to pursuing my own balance. I work diligently but also recognize the importance of taking time off. We all need to find that balance in our lives.
What strategies do you use to cultivate and lead a successful spa team?
Starting out as a service provider while also being a business person is unique. It allows me to understand my staff’s perspective while also appreciating the business side of things. This industry is full of big personalities and passionate individuals, whether in a salon or spa setting. Finding balance is crucial, as is being a strong leader.
“I am committed to ensuring that my management staff maintains a healthy work-life balance, and I am equally dedicated to pursuing my own balance.”
THE INCLUSION QUEEN
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
I first met Jessica Fabus Cheng while lobbying Congress in DC. One of the most vivid memories of this lobbying session was navigating accessibility into the Hart Senate building. This trip to DC involved finding a way into the building when the only accessible entrance was under construction. We needed to obtain access to the building by entering through the loading docks and using the freight elevator designated for trash. One of the custodians graciously showed us the way through the maze. But he wasn’t sure if he should take us through all the trash and onto the putrid-smelling elevator. Jon, in his wheelchair, looked at the guy and asked, “Is there another route to get to Senator Schumer’s office?” The kind custodian said, “No, I’m sorry, but there isn’t.” My son, being my son, said, “OK, dude, let’s go! We will hold our breath and try not to smell anything”. We met Senator Schumer’s aide without getting our clothes dirty or smelly.
This month, Jessica and I discussed the 34th Anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act ADA. Jessica is the Inclusion Queen and is currently Mrs. New Jersey International 2024. She is competing for the Mrs. International Title this month. Her platform is accessibility for all, and she is passionate about bringing accessibility changes for all disabilities. Jessica loves educating kids, “littles,” as she calls them, on how to make their peers with disabilities
BY CHRISTINE PIACENTINO
or special needs feel like little kids. The “littles are the future; if we as adults can teach them how to be more inclusive, imagine what the future may hold.
The process to pass the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) took decades, involving extensive advocacy, negotiation, and legislative effort. The
Advocacy for disability rights and initial groundwork for legislation began in the 1970s and 1980s. The perseverance and dedication of these advocates, including the establishment of the Independent Living Movement and the Section 504 sit-ins, laid the foundation for broader disability rights legislation. In 1986, the National Council on Disability (NCD) issued a “Toward Independence” report.
This report recommended enacting a comprehensive law to protect the rights of individuals with disabilities. The first version of the ADA was introduced to Congress by Senator Tom Harkin and Representative Tony Coelho. In 1989, Congress reintroduced a revised version of the ADA. This version received more attention and support, leading to extensive debates, hearings, and negotiations. Finally, in 1990, after significant bi-partisan efforts, the ADA was passed by both bodies of Congress.
The American Disabilities Act was signed into law on July 26th, 1990. There are five key provisions of the ADA:
1. Title I - Employment: This title helps people with disabilities access the same employment opportunities and benefits available to people without disabilities. It requires employers with 15 or more employees to provide reasonable accommodations to qualified applicants and employees. It also prohibits discrimination in hiring, promotion, and other aspects of employment.
2. Title II - Public Services: This title is comprehensive in its scope, prohibiting discrimination against qualified individuals with disabilities in all public entities’ programs, activities, and services. It applies to all state and local governments, their departments and agencies, and
“Jessica loves educating kids, “littles,” as she calls them, on how to make their peers with disabilities or special needs feel like little kids. The “littles are the future; if we as adults can teach them how to be more inclusive, imagine what the future may hold.”
“Jessica is the Inclusion Queen and is currently Mrs. New Jersey International 2024.”
other instrumentalities, ensuring no one is left behind in accessing public services.
3. Title III - Public Accommodations:
This title requires businesses and nonprofit service providers to make their goods, services, and facilities accessible to individuals with disabilities. This includes industries such as restaurants, hotels, theaters, doctors’ offices, pharmacies, retail stores, museums, libraries, parks, private schools, and daycare centers.
4. Title IV—Telecommunications:
This title requires telephone and internet companies to provide a nationwide system of interstate and intrastate telecommunications relay services that allow individuals with hearing or speech disabilities to communicate over the telephone.
5. Title V—Miscellaneous Provisions:
This title contains various provisions relating to the ADA, including its relationship to other laws, state immunity, its impact on insurance providers and benefits, the prohibition against retaliation and coercion, illegal use of drugs, and attorney’s fees.
The ADA has been amended several times to strengthen its provisions, most notably by the ADA Amendments Act of 2008 (ADAAA), which significantly changed the definition of “disability” to ensure that individuals with disabilities are adequately protected.
I talked to Jessica before she traveled to Kingsport, TN, to compete in the Mrs. International Pageant.
1. Who is your ADA Hero, and why?
Since I’m being interviewed by the “One Tough Mother,” I have to say Judith Heumann is the woman considered to be “the mother” of the disability rights movement. She is incredibly influential, and her advocacy has always gotten to the heart of the issue. She said, “Disability only becomes a tragedy for me when society fails to provide the things we need to lead our lives––job opportunities or barrier-free buildings, for example. It is not a tragedy to me that I’m living in a wheelchair.” She was also the first wheelchair user to teach in New York City.
2. Celebrating 34 years of the ADA Act, we have advanced a long way but have more work to do. What are the two things we should focus on and why?
Employment and workplace inclusion for those with disabilities and Accessibility in digital spaces.
Many face barriers such as discrimination, lack of accessible workplaces, and limited opportunities for career advancement, even with advanced degrees. I once heard it said that employees should be begging to hire disabled people because they have to “think outside the box” pretty much every day of their lives, living in a still relatively inaccessible world. Creative problem-solving skills, a forward-thinking mentality, and preparedness make disabled individuals ideal.
Regarding accessibility in digital spaces, we increasingly rely on technology. Many websites, applications, and digital services are still not fully accessible to people with disabilities, which can
hinder their ability to participate fully in modern life. Many businesses also use social media to promote their messages, products, and programs. This is why adding accessibility standards like image descriptions, captions on videos, and appropriate design strategies utilizing color contrast, for example, are crucial to tap into the nearly 1.9 trillion dollars left on the table each year because marketing campaigns don’t include the disabled community. This is why I want to be remembered as “The Inclusive Queen,” who made space for diversity and inclusion on social media and beyond, highlighting and bringing awareness to the everyday acts of advocacy we can do to create a more accessible world. It starts with each of us.
3.What are some common misconceptions or challenges employers face when implementing the ADA in their workplaces?
Employers often think it may be too cost-prohibitive or require training resources the company currently lacks. However, many digital design standards are simple to implement and cost nothing to add to the company. It’s important to note that accessibility never takes away or dismantles the current business model; it only adds to what is already there, creating a workplace culture that communicates much more effectively with the 1 in 6 people who are disabled globally.
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
{ QUEEN OF ARTS } YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BEATA GOLEC
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
PHOTOS BY INGA MUCHA, KINGA KARPATI AND GIL BAKER
Can you share your journey into music? What initially inspired you to pursue a career as a pianist and composer?
My musical journey began at age 7, upon my acceptance into the Mieczyslaw Karlowicz School of Music in Katowice, Poland. Yes – auditions, exams, and juries have been a part of my life since early childhood through finishing my Doctoral of Musical Arts Degree at the Eastman School of Music. The educational system in Poland is highly comprehensive and provides a wide array of challenging opportunities to the most excelling students. Music students play juries (scales, arpeggios, cadences and three contrasting pieces for the youngest students) and complete exams in music theory and ear-training each semester. By the time I was in high school, my class-load included piano, accompanying, cello, orchestra, form analysis, music history, aural skills, part writing (soprano, alto, tenor, and bass), counterpoint, conducting and orchestration. I attended all these music activities provided by the music school in addition to being a student in a “regular” high school. My typical weekday was filled with classes, lessons and practicing – about twelve hours a day. Then, I continued my education at the Frederic Chopin University of Music in Warsaw (piano performance and literature) and at the Karol Szymanowski University of Music in Katowice (composition and music theory). I was a full-time student at two higher ed institutions located 200 miles from each other. I rode the Intercity trains between Katowice and Warsaw at least three times a week. Sometimes I would commute by flying LOT Polish
Airlines depending on my schedule. What I really appreciated the most about the Polish education was not just the fact of how solid it was, but how competitive it was, and the fact it was completely free. Only the most accomplished students received scholarships from the Polish government.
The scholarships arrived in the form of a monthly stipend payment, and I was the recipient of these scholarships each year at both universities. In my freshman year in Warsaw, I was invited to attend the Chautauqua Institution Summer Music School on a full scholarship. I studied there for four summers in a row. It was a life-changing experience which propelled my interest in the Eastman School of Music and I developed many friendships. I studied at Eastman on a full scholarship and earned Master’s of Music and Doctoral of Musical Arts degrees in Piano Performance and Literature. In addition to my Eastman studies, I was a PhD student in Composition at University of Buffalo for one year. Given the fact, I was enrolled as a full-time doctoral student at two universities, served as a teaching assistant at Eastman and working; I found myself stretched too thin, and ended my Buffalo journey. While still at Eastman, I became an examiner for the Advanced Placement in Music Theory, accepted a teaching position at SUNY Geneseo and became the Director of Music Programs for the Diocese of Rochester.
My amazing Mom Alicja Golec, who also is an accomplished music educator, was the initial inspiration and catalyst of my journey. She noticed I had a good
ear at an early age. We later discovered that I had perfect pitch which was very helpful in my aural skills classes and for transcribing music. Of course, as a 7-year-old I did not want to practice (!). My maturity and appreciation for the amazing field of music came at age 10. At that point I knew I would pursue advanced degrees in music. I had interest in piano, theory, composition, improvisation, and conducting.
I am beyond grateful to my wonderful parents who supported me and who sacrificed their time and resources to assist me in excelling as an artist and leader. They provided me with superior academic opportunities, wholesome upbringing, and high moral and ethical standards.
You’ve been a prominent figure in the Greater Rochester music community for over two decades. What has been the most rewarding aspect of your career so far?
While scholarships, recognition, awards and accolades bring joy into one’s life and confirm one’s abilities and worth, they are not the center of attention nor are they the objective of one’s life. It is the people that fill my life to its fullest. The diversity of experiences with these individuals encourages me to better myself, to deepen my expertise and to grow my empathy for the needs of others. Each student has a story, and everyone’s background and circumstances condition their everyday life. When trauma enters one’s life, it becomes an obstacle in the learning path. This path might be changing directions, or it could become lengthier than originally projected. As
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
“Yes – auditions, exams, and juries have been a part of my life since early childhood through finishing my Doctoral of Musical Arts Degree at the Eastman School of Music.”
an educator it is my objective to assist students and provide support in whatever shape it might be, so that despite the challenges they face, they are able to reach their potential, gain confidence and to truly see how capable they are. I am grateful to be teaching and guiding individuals of all ages. It teaches me how to be flexible, patient and that each person learns differently, which means my methods need to address each individual’s learning style. I am grateful to hear about everyone’s life stories as they make me understand my students and choristers better. Each story opens my mind to a deeper understanding of humanity, vulnerability, humility and togetherness. Seeing my students succeed makes my heart happy and full. Their competitions, scholarships, internships, successful auditions and job interviews make me so proud of them. While they might not realize how far they have come in their musical journey, I remind them of that fact on a regular basis. I have seen an amazing growth in both my university and private studio students. Seeing their progress and happy faces is the most treasured accomplishment an educator could ask for.
As a piano instructor at SUNY Geneseo and the recipient of the 2021 SUNY Chancellor’s Award for Excellence in Teaching, how has teaching influenced your own musicianship and creativity? I strongly believe that teaching equals learning. I am continuously learning about the musicality, sensitivity and personalities of my students, about the various ways of understanding gestures, harmonies and music notation, but foremost I have learned that there is always more than one way to communicate,
phrase or understand music. Making music is not about right or wrong answers. It is about delivering a message in the most effective way possible to engage others and to encourage the listeners to hear the story and to give them the freedom to interpret and make the story alive in their own imagination.
Congratulations on receiving the 2024 Victor Business Award! What does this recognition mean to you and your business, Golec Music Studio? This recognition means the world to me mainly because educational services and arts are never considered businesses. I would like to thank Kathy Rayburn, the Executive Director of Victor Community Development Office, for recognizing my efforts in building a music-based business that provides an array of services in our community. This includes piano, voice, music theory, analysis, aural skills and composition lessons, exam, competition and audition preparation, transcription and orchestration services, weddings and funerals, corporate events and masterclasses. This award acknowledges my endeavors and confirms the quality and scope of my services.
Your upcoming faculty recital on October 20th at Doty Hall sounds like a unique blend of music and visual art. Can you tell us more about the concept behind this performance? As a performer, I am interested in presenting newly found and fresh music. As a composer it is my goal to create new musical landscapes and to present them to others. As a music theorist I am interested in the intricacies of musical structures and the interaction of various layers of the compositional soundscape.
I enjoy organizing and participating in events that can be considered oneof-a-kind and “outside of the box” experiences. Collaborating with other artists is exciting and meaningful. It is always more fulfilling to make music and work on a project with others than alone.
My faculty recital at SUNY Geneseo scheduled for October 20th at 3PM will consist of my own compositions set to image installations by local photographers. I would like to thank Marie Costanza, Steve Levinson, Gil Maker, Don Menges, Inga Mucha, Luann Pero, Betsy Phillips and Laura Knecht for agreeing to be a part of this project, for devoting their time and talent to this adventure, and for sharing their photographs with me and the audience.
During the performance I will discuss my musical language, compositional techniques, and emotional content of each piece (before I perform). I will provide the explanation of each photographer’s image interpretations of the piece (after I perform). The photographers were not provided with the composer’s program notes and their interpretations are based solely on the sound landscape of each musical piece. To start, we will have a recording of my Balbutiendo Piano looping through the sound system as the audience members arrive at Doty Hall before the concert begins. Balbutiendo Piano (which means Stuttering Piano) was a collaborative project I completed with Ed Hallborg a few years back. It is a semi-minimal looping improvisation triptych recorded in Doty Hall. The Steinway piano was processed and manipulated through electronic filtering
“My amazing Mom Alicja Golec, who also is an accomplished music educator, was the initial inspiration and catalyst of my journey. She noticed I had a good ear at an early age.”
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
“As a performer, I am interested in presenting newly found and fresh music. As a composer it is my goal to create new musical landscapes and to present them to others.”
equipment in “real-time” and fed back to me via headphones. I then responded to it while the equipment was playing the next sequence. I created all musical material on- the-spot since it was an improvisation. Did I mention I enjoy one-of-a-kind experiences?
How did the collaboration with local photographers come about, and what do you hope their image installations will add to the experience of your music?
We had a plan for a piano concert with the photographers before the pandemic. So, the idea is not brand new. I revisited this concept a few months ago and shared it with my longtime friend Gil Maker who is one of the photographers involved in this project.
The installations will provide a visual interpretation of my compositions. The audience members will listen to my music and watch the projected series of images simultaneously. The listeners will receive the background on my inspiration and story behind each piece, and then they will hear the description of each image interpretation.
In this recital, you’ll be performing your original compositions. Can you give us a sneak peek into the themes and emotions that will be explored in your pieces?
I will be performing Prelude No. 1, “Wings”, “War and Sorrow”, “Tomorrow”, “New Dawn”, “Blossom” - all for piano solo, and “Minimal Talk” for trumpet and piano.
New Dawn was completed in April 2024 and is structured as a ternary form with a brief coda. The message
of the piece is “there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel.” While sorting out our own life journeys and living amid the challenges that might come our way (whatever they might mean to you) we often lose the ability to see the larger picture. We are unaware of our inner strength and resilience at that moment. We are much stronger than we believed and can overcome. At the end we are freed from the pain and oppression we experienced in the past. This is the most wonderful feeling in the world.
Tomorrow was composed in April 2020 during the pandemic. It focuses on the unknown and the scope of uncertainty we all experienced during the lockdown. During tragedy, panic, distress and anxiety, we felt an inner voice of hopefulness that tomorrow would be a better time than the previous experiences. The composition ends with a consonant and spacious harmony symbolizing hope.
Wings represent motion, action and power. They also mean hope, bravery and freedom. The Silesian Insurgents’ Monument which is in Katowice, Poland commemorates the patriotism of the Polish people who took part in the three Silesian Uprisings between 19191921. These uprisings were against the German rule. The resistance hoped to break away from Germany to join the Second Polish Republic, which had been established in the wake of World War I. The Monument is shaped into three enormous wings representing the Silesian Uprisings.
Minimal Talk is based on the stylistic features of both American Minimalism
and Holy Minimalism (in Europe). Phasing, repetitiveness, Tintinnabuli bass (invented by Arvo Part) and a dialogue between the trumpet and piano will be the focal points of this composition.
Come to the recital on October 20th at 3 PM in Doty Hall at SUNY Geneseo to hear more about my pieces. The admission is free and open to all!
What do you hope the audience will take away from your performance on October 20th?
My intention is to lead by giving an example and to “walk the walk.” I want the young performers and composers to be proud of their work and creativity, to truly own their inventions and to be confident in presenting them to others. Creativity is one thing that cannot be taken away from us. It is the inner ability and quality to be cherished and recognized. I want to encourage everyone to write, to create, to try new things and not to fear rejection, judgement or criticism.
My desire is to create an experience that differs from the traditional modern era recital. I want the audience members to participate in one-of-a-kind multimedia event, to learn, to interpret and to imagine.
Your recital includes a talk about your compositional techniques and the emotional context of each piece. How would you describe your musical style and influences?
The main features of my music are
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
“The listeners will receive the background on my inspiration and story behind each piece, and then they will hear the description of each image interpretation.”
esimplicity and directness of expression, color versatility and there is some extent of repetitiveness. My musical landscape is very descriptive, imaginative, free, facile, and accessible to a diverse audience. My mission as a composer is to open “mental space” with music: to let the listeners imagine, open their minds and let them be directed by their own imagination. My intention is not to make my audience be bound by what I envision but rather to let them imagine anything; to stimulate the brain activity in the listener which promotes a strong psychological and physical experience.
Color versatility is a crucial component of my musical language: various registers represent different color features; every harmony creates a different color, and it is important for the performers to seek out and express this uniqueness. Voicing, articulation, and pedaling all work together to enhance the vivid color effects.
“In my eyes”, piano is the universal and most versatile instrument. It can deliver a vast array of musical and emotional messages. As a composer I tend to write exclusively for piano or for piano with other instruments such as the trumpet or violin. I cannot imagine my life without the piano. My music focuses on sonority, color and multi-layering of the musical structure. I use the entire keyboard range from the lowest through the highest pitches and most frequently use octaves and colorful (and often complex) chords. Some of my compositions sound as if they were written for two pianos thanks to the multilayering and the use of pedals. I studied music performance, music theory and analysis from the youngest
age. As a composition and music theory student at Karol Szymanowski University of Music in Katowice and then University at Buffalo (PhD program) I studied European and American compositional techniques of the 20th and 21st centuries. As a participant of summer programs in Poland, Austria and the United States I was introduced to improvisation, string piano, prepared piano, postminimalism and modern ballet music. I had the opportunity to play piano in the orchestras at The Chopin University of Music in Warsaw, The Chautauqua Institution and The Eastman School of Music. All these experiences and in-depth exposure to classical piano repertoire provided a complex mesh of diverse influences on who I am today and how I deliver my musical messages. If I were to pinpoint some very specific ones it would be American Minimalism, Holy Minimalism, free atonality, sonorism, aleatoric music, extended instrumental techniques and jazz harmonies.
How do you approach the process of composing music? Are there specific elements or emotions you aim to convey through your work?
I strive for a balance between the emotional and intellectual content of each composition. Fully calculated compositions do not speak to audience members. Overly emotional music tends to feel overwhelming. Additionally, there must be an element of familiarity in the piece of music for the listeners to connect with its content. I am oldfashioned – I compose at the piano and write my music down by hand. The emotional content of each piece varies and depends on my mood, life experiences, experiences of my friends,
current events in the United States and abroad, social injustice, grief, breaking news and many more. Inspiration to write music comes from several sources in life including nature, daily events and other arts.
The Young Musicians’ Concerts you’ve founded provide a wonderful platform for young talent. What inspired you to start these events, and how have they evolved since 2016?
Over the years, my thoughts have been circling around the fact that young musicians do not have enough opportunities to perform or to connect with other artists. Another thought of mine was that most concerts cause a significant amount of stress to the performers. I was also aware of the fact our Rochester community needs food and other resources to help those in need. And that is how The Young Musicians’ Concerts came about.
The first mission of the Concerts is to provide a stress-free environment for the performers. Our musicians do not have to have their music memorized, nor is the performance order predetermined (no printed programs). I typically begin each recital with my own composition and then invite students to come to the piano and play or sing. Each student introduces themselves and announces the music selections they are about to perform. The second mission of the Concerts is to raise funds for important community outreach programs such as the Food Pantries at Holy Cross and Our Mother of Sorrows Churches. Our next concert is scheduled for November 3rd at noon at Holy Cross Church located at 4492 Lake Avenue in Rochester,
{ QUEEN
“I strive for a balance between the emotional and intellectual content of each composition. Fully calculated compositions do not speak to audience members.”
New York. We will be collecting freewill offering and non-perishable food items to support the operations of the Food Pantries. The event is free and open to all.
Your students have performed remarkably well, achieving top marks and gaining acceptance to prestigious music schools. What do you believe sets your teaching approach apart? I believe, I expect high yet reasonable standards and keep my musicians accountable. The pedagogue’s honest approach to teaching is the key to their students’ success. Every session consists of a variety of tasks and is never monotonous. The learning plan includes both analytical and historical concepts. My students, regardless of age, receive written homework. The more time they spend on notation, theory and analysis, the more independent they can become. The more the independence early on, the quicker the long-term results. Of course, the scope and volume of assignments are adjusted to the students’ age and level. Emotional support plays a substantial role in one’s development and success. I strive to encourage my musicians in any way I can including the time outside of our sessions. I want them to know I believe in their potential and abilities, and I remind them of their progress on a regular basis.
Please look at the page with the testimonials from my clients, collaborative artists, students, and their parents: https://www.beatagolec.com/testimonials
Can you share some of the experiences that have shaped your teaching philosophy, especially in preparing
students for performances and auditions?
Stage fright and anxiety are real. We do not speak enough about these topics and most of the time they are “swept under the rug”. If you think public speaking is nerve-racking, think again as performing and multitasking on the keyboard is ten times more challenging. Our mental health influences our performance experience and quality. The emotional condition of a musician can change in a split second and could adversely affect their public performance. We need to talk to our students about these vulnerabilities and assure them it is human (and expected) to feel nervous, to have sweaty hands, dry mouth or shaky legs. They need to know we (the coaches, professors, instructors) are in their corner and have their backs. They need to trust us.
My course entitled “Psyche, mental illness and musical creativity” was selected to be offered through the Honors Program in the spring semester in 2025 at SUNY Geneseo. In my course I will discuss the effects of anxiety, stage fright, as well as the life stories and struggles of prominent composers throughout the history. The idea of the offering is that mental and emotional struggles were present in the lives of brilliant musicians throughout the centuries, and anyone experiencing challenges today is not alone.
My teaching philosophy and style are based on delivering a clear message, simplifying the task, being organized and providing a structured experience to the student. I am prepared to have more than one answer to a question, to find an alternative way to solve a problem
and to explain the connection between the physical and emotional aspects of making music.
I watched my Mom who is an award winning pedagogue for years. I participated in lessons, studio classes, masterclasses and summer programs, and had the opportunity to learn the teaching styles of several internationally recognized artists. The hands-on experience, and not just reading textbooks on pedagogy, are the main influence on who I am and how I teach today.
Golec Music Studio offers a wide array of services. How do you balance the diverse needs of your students while maintaining your own artistic pursuits? Music has had a significant presence in my life since I was a first grader, and I am used to participating in music-making of all sorts on an everyday basis. I do not treat it as a job but rather a lifestyle. I believe that having a very positive relationship with what we do for a living is extremely empowering and makes our work much more pleasant and less tiring. Being passionate about music propels my energy and eagerness to learn more, to meet new people, and to give my best. I am very organized, make sure I eat well, get enough sleep, and have an amazing support group (my family). Each and every smallest gap in my schedule is used for something creative and useful. I never sit idle.
Reflecting on your premiere at Carnegie Hall in 2006 and the release of your solo album, how have these milestones influenced your career? These unique experiences were beyond thrilling and caused a lot of excitement.
“My intention is to lead by giving an example and to “walk the walk.” I want the young performers and composers to be proud of their work and creativity, to truly own their inventions and to be confident in presenting them to others.”
Over time they formed in me a new sense of responsibility. It is my objective to provide the highest level of instruction and services in my community. I am responsible for my students, their progress, for the performers whom I prepare for public music-making, and for those applying for advanced degrees. All these individuals rely on my guidance, knowledge and support. I want to do my best for their sake.
With a career spanning performances, teaching, and running a successful music studio, what future projects or goals do you have in mind?
I would like to perform more of my music and collaborate with visual artists in
creating “out-of-the-box experiences” for our audiences. I will continue organizing Young Musicians’ Concerts and invite artists to perform at Holy Cross and Our Mother of Sorrows Churches. Last year I began to give masterclasses in music schools in the New York City area and would like to continue these types of projects and to collaborate with more institutions.
How do you envision the role of music in community building and education, especially in today’s rapidly changing world?
Our society needs music. Music brings us together, it heals us, it gives us energy, it shapes our views of the world, and it
uplifts our spirituality. Despite all the electronically- produced and widely available online music, there is a craving for authentic performances played on acoustic instruments and presented faceto-face. The same applies to teaching – music making and shaping thrive on one-on-one contact. Any chamber music, choral or orchestral experiences are based on human interaction in person. Humans are social creatures, and despite the rapidly changing world, we will continue to get together, thrive on interhuman interactions and will continue to make relationships – professional and personal. We simply cannot live just for ourselves.
NO MORE APOLOGIES
BY LISA WAGNER
What My Sister Taught Me
My sister, Laura passed away unexpectedly on June 11th. Laura is my Irish twin. I have known her my whole life. When I got the news that she had passed in her sleep last the following morning, my world felt like it had shattered.
I remember when she was born, the feelings I had about some crying blob that was taking my mom away from me and how mad it made me. Which is crazy that I remember that. That anger and confusion quickly turned to joy. I had a built-in playmate who loved all the same things as I did. We loved PlayDoh, coloring, playing house, Barbies (with that Barbie house that always fell apart), riding our bikes for hours, sandbox time, swimming, dancing, sledding, ice skating, you name it.
Laura was so creative and talented. Even the way she colored in the coloring books was beautiful. I’m not sure she ever realized that I tried to emulate how she would shade the figures and shapes and even outline them with a black crayon to emphasize her work. I wish we had even one of those books still.
Laura also had a penchant for drawing block letters. She could take a common design and turn it into something all her own that was always prettier and more fun. She had to teach me how to do that. She was so patient and funny when she would slowly explain or demonstrate how to get that letter “s” to look like it danced on the paper. It was effortless for her. Laura also had this insane ability to memorize every song, who sang it
and all their group members names, and, most importantly, spend her afternoons playing a song over and over until she figured out all the lyrics and wrote them in countless spirals she kept in her closet. She was so proud of that collection. If there was a trivia game that had questions about songs, you may as well put your feet up and watch her crush you handily.
Her greatest talent, however, was and I’m sure still is, that she would care more about how you were than she cared about her own well-being. She thought about your trials and tribulations and was always a nonjudgmental ear. She allowed you a safe place to share your pain and suffering while offering only love and understanding in return. She prayed for you unceasingly and was a steel trap about all you had been through and your greatest joys. No one could cheer louder for you than she did. No one! Her belief in those she loved was unrivaled. She poured her soul into it while leaving so little for herself. Her love for her sons was so authentic and heartfelt. She glowed whenever she spoke about Brandon and Joshua. They were her greatest accomplishments.
Watching her be a mother to them was such a gift for our family. Even though she had some difficult physical limitations due to having MS, she never let them impede her care, concern or determination she had to ensure that they knew they were loved. She was always striving to do and be better for them. She worried continually that she hadn’t done enough as their mom. No one could have done better than she did under
the circumstances she found herself in. I could see in their eyes they felt loved to their core by her.
Laura had lived her life always feeling the need to apologize for taking up space. For making you worry or angry when she would make one bad choice after another. What she had never fully grasped in anything more than small glimpses until this last year of her life, but especially the last three weeks was that she was worthy of all the accolades, happiness, joy and love that we all had been offering her as long as we could remember. Laura lived so many years in fear of not being enough. That she was somehow less than us. It simply wasn’t true, and it pained us all deeply to bear witness to.
In our last phone call a few days before her passing, she had called me to talk about how her friend, Sandy had lovingly opened her heart and her home to Laura so that she could have a fresh start and rebuild her life in a way that let her light shine again. Our family couldn’t be more grateful for the opportunity she was providing her.
Laura spent most of that phone call apologizing for the choices she had been making throughout her life and the pain it caused all of us. That she wanted to use this new opportunity that Sandy had offered her, promising to “make up for all of it.” I repeatedly reminded her that it wasn’t necessary. That she was no longer allowed to use the words, “I’m sorry” in that way and that all we ever wanted was for her to be happy and be her highest, most loving self. To make choices that honored the light inside of her
{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE } { MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE }
“My sister, Laura passed away unexpectedly on June 11th. Laura is my Irish twin. I have known her my whole life. When I got the news that she had passed in her sleep last the following morning, my world felt like it had shattered.”
that was so colorful and beautiful. That she was as worthy of God’s love as each of us are. That we are made in God’s image and are whole and so perfectly designed, just like her pretty drawings.
I think what Laura would ask of all of us, especially women who have walked similar paths, is that we know in the depths of our soul that we ARE worthy, enough, and perfect in all the best ways. Today, I would ask that each of us honor her spirit and take to heart what she would
now have you know. Then act on that knowing. In the knowing that your presence here, right now, on this earthly plane is richly needed because the gifts you came to this place with wish to be used, expressed and acted upon. To not waste time on apology tours and feeling as if you take up valuable space. You don’t. The space you take becomes more valuable because of your loving energy. Move away from your fear because you are never alone, and you are always being held, supported and lovingly led on this journey. Life here is hard.
So incredibly hard. But when we decide that we are truly love at our core? That it is the truest essence of who we are; that is when things get a little easier. Doing the work to find, reignite and then shine your light unapologetically in the darkest recesses of this world is what will bring about lasting and loving change that we all so deeply desire. It is what God, and my beautiful sister would ask of you and what honors what your angels will rejoice in once your embrace the beauty that lies within all of us.
ADOPT ADOPT ADOPT
“This sweet boy has a calm personality and an absolutely adorable little face. He has so much love to give, and would love to join your family!” - Scar
Rochester Woman Online is excited to be able to bring you our ALL NEW monthly spotlights on some of the amazing dogs up for adoption at Rochester Animal Serices on 184 Verona St, Rochester NY.
We have been doing weekly spotlights of some of these amazing fur babies on our social media, and getting to showcase them with Pups in the Play Yard where we will go LIVE with staff and volunteers outside their kennels to try and get them to showoff their amazing personalities.
We hope you consider checking out some of these sweet faces and even if you can’t add a new fur member to the family, you can foster, volunteer, or donate. EVERYTHING helps!
To date, we have sponsored 50 dogs adoptions fees to get them into their furever homes courtesy of some amazing sponsors, and we aren’t stopping there!
together with their pets, have a central destination to find a new pet; where neighborhoods are enhanced through pet ownership, and lost pets are kept safe and nurtured.
SCAR (PIC TO LEFT)
Scar is only a year and a half old
on your couch. ��
This sweet boy has a calm personality and an absolutely adorable little face. He has so much love to give, and would love to join your family!
Rochester Animal Services (RAS) envisions a community where our neighbors are empowered to stay
and very timid. He loves getting gentle pets and treats. He is a very sweet boy who would love to relax
PLUS, his adoption fees are sponsored by Rose Cleaning Services!
MR TWIX
Meet Mr. Twix! He’s basically a male model for the shelter, but he can definitely turn left! He enjoys spending his time poolside, splish-splashing around. He likes to get his exercise on in our Play Yard, as he has his figure to watch, but will certainly stop for a good butt rub/scratch. To aid in his modeling career, Twix has been learning to walk gently with a harness. Twix is about three years old and an absolute sweetheart! Twix is not a fan of the feline persuasion, so no cats in the house for him!
His adoption fees are sponsored courtesy of Cribs for Critters and Colleen Bracci.
https://www.cityofrochester. gov/adoptadog/
“She loves loves loves to play ball! She would absolutely love someone to play fetch with for the rest of her life!”
MEET LOCA
Loca is a two year old sweetheart who will melt your heart! She loves loves loves to play ball! She would absolutely love someone to play fetch with for the rest of her life!
This playful happy girl is such
a joy to spend time with! She is very gentle and easy to walk. If you sit with her, she will request pets and cuddles. She prefers male dogs, and would make a great new best friend!!
If you are interested in Loca, or any of the other amazing
four legged friends at Rochester Animal Services, please fill out an application online, or at the shelter and stop down to 184 Verona St. from 12-4pm Monday-Sunday to do a meet and greet!
{ WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? } YOU ARE ENOUGH.
ANGELO PIPERNI
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
So Angelo, tell us a little bit about yourself. What inspired you to pursue a career as a social media influencer? Well, this all started from Covid. I wasn’t able to see my kids as much as I wanted to as we were forced to be quarantined. So my son said I should start doing YouTube videos or something so they could watch me. I wasn’t big on You tube but I did have a facebook portal machine that allowed me to do facebook live videos and the camera would follow me around. So, it was then that I decided to do a little show called boredom. We did everything from cooking videos, unboxing videos and just general check in videos to see how people were doing. It was something fun that came from a rough time everyone was in.
How did you start making videos on Instagram and TikTok? What was your first video about, and how did it perform?
After the live videos started taking off a little, my youngest son mentioned I should start doing TikTok videos. At first I was like…I’m too old for TikTok, but he talked me into it and the first video we did which was about making a Keto dessert got over 60k views and gained me about 5k in followers. So, with the momentum going, we just continued to do fun things.
is Lauren Cobello. She has been on a ton of talk shows including the Today show, Rachel Ray and many others. She asked me what my goal was out of all of this. At the time, my response was…”I don’t know, I am really just doing it for fun” She mentioned that I am creating a following and I should do something with it. So, we sat down and talked about it one day and she helped me figure out a way to come up with
What led you to create Pip Apparel, and what is the mission behind your brand? This one is a shout out to someone who pushed me to do something positive with the platform I was creating. I had someone reach out to me, her name
a brand that can help me spread the positivity. Lauren told me to focus on what people are mentioning the most in my posts. Those things happened to be my smile, my positivity and my wink lol. Hence, how we came up with pip apparel.
As an influencer, how do you keep up with creating content and gaining a larger audience?
This is a tough one and I don’t want to shoot anyone down that happens to do this because it obviously works for them. I have found it harder and harder to grow organically. It seems that all the social media platforms want you to buy your followers and I refuse to do that. When you start to get over a certain amount of followers the platforms give you a professional dashboard. I have followed that and I have noticed time and time again the numbers get held back. I see my followers grow, but yet they don’t show the growth in the numbers, almost like they are holding me back for some reason. One day I noticed my followers on one platform went down 3k in one day. I found that odd, because it seems like my followers have always been pretty loyal and I would like to think that by putting out the same kind of content that they wouldn’t leave for no reason. So, I just continue to push out the same positive energy in hopes that someday the platforms will want to share those types of messages instead of all the hate that I have been seeing on social media. I just try to stay true to myself and only do videos that I think have a positive message or will make people smile.
Did you ever think that being positive and a little wink would become such a huge hit on social media? What do you think resonates most with your followers?
I never thought about it until Lauren mentioned it to me as she was following a lot of the messages people were posting
{ WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? }
“As for my kids, I want to be a role model for them and someone they can also be proud of. This is sometimes tough because, I know that when I do some videos they come to me and are like…”Dad, really? My friends are going to see that”.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
in my videos. That is why the brand logo for Pip apparel is a wink emoji with a smiley face. Too be honest I never even knew I was doing the wink until a lot of comments started coming in about it. It was just something I was doing as a sign off to my videos. Then I guess it became a thing, lol. It’s not for everyone and I am sure a lot of people think it’s corny, but at the same time there are a lot of people that like it. I find it funny that when I do a video that doesn’t have the wink in it, people comment asking where is my wink lol. As far as the positivity comes in…that’s just me. I always try to be as positive as possible on a daily basis. I have found from losing people I love at a very young age, that life is too short and we have to enjoy every moment we can and make as many memories as possible. I think the reason my followers enjoy my content is because I am real. What you see is what you get. I try to interact with as many people as possible, but that also becomes challenging with the more followers you get. I always make it a point to comment back when I can, but I at least try to acknowledge peoples comments by liking or hearting their messages. I feel that the more engaged you are, the more real you are to your followers and it helps them engage more often.
Who are some of the people that influence you in your career and personal life? When doing anything I do whether it’s for work or my personal life, my kids and family are always what push me. I try to wake up everyday and make sure that I am making my dad who is looking down on me from
heaven proud of me. As for my kids, I want to be a role model for them and someone they can also be proud of. This is sometimes tough because, I know that when I do some videos they come to me and are like…”Dad, really? My friends are going to see that”. At the same time they chuckle and think it’s funny. Overall, I think that they have had as much fun with this as I have. They are often coming up to me and saying, “hey dad…my buddy wants some of your apparel or a hat” That makes me happy, seeing that they younger kids want to also help spread the positive vibes that I am trying to share with everyone.
What are some of the exciting things that you have planned for the future, both for your personal brand and Pip Apparel?
Like mentioned previously. I just try to live one day at a time and make as many memories with my family as possible. I would like to continue to create new products on the pipapparel.org website so that people stay interested, but there are already so many pages of things you can purchase. We have stickers, backpacks, drinking glasses, coffee mugs, yoga mats, blankets and of course my favorite…Hoodies! So many different colors and options to choose from. The more people that wear them, the more positivity I know is being spread and that is the goal.
How do you continually improve yourself and keep balance amidst the fast-paced world of social media? This has become harder and harder especially when I haven’t fully embraced
the world of social media. My main job and work comes first and that takes up a lot of my time. It becomes harder and harder to create new videos, but I still push them out so the message doesn’t get lost. I feel like I could do so much more with social media if I had the time to do it. A lot of people become brand ambassadors for a lot of products and I have had many people try to reach out to me and push their products for commission, but that isn’t why I started social media and too be honest…I just don’t have the time for it. Especially when trying to balance a healthy balance of work, social media and family. So, I continue to do what I can and when I can do it and hope that people still enjoy what is being put out there.
What challenges have you faced as an influencer and entrepreneur, and how have you overcome them?
The biggest challenge I have faced is the onslaught of fake accounts that continue to be made using a variation of my name and my pictures. People continue to bribe me for money in order to have them stop making fake accounts with my profile. I have had followers reach out to me thinking that they were having conversations with me while it was in fact one of the many scammer accounts trying to get something out of them. That one hurst the most, because not only are they trying to steal from people but they are ruining my reputation at the same time. I only have one account on each platform and I come out with videos all the time warning my followers of this, yet it still continues to be an issue. I have also had
{ WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? } { WOMAN ON THE RISE }
{ WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? }
“So, I just continue to push out the same positive energy in hopes that someday the platforms will want to share those types of messages instead of all the hate that I have been seeing on social media.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
people reaching out pretending to be me and sell my apparel to them. The scammers will tell my followers that the website is down but they can take their order and send them the product at a sale price. In some cases they have even made fake apparel products by creating something themselves that looks similar and selling them a cheaper version of what I have on the website. Other times they just steal their money. That is why I am always telling people that if you are not getting the product from the actual website pipapparel.org then you are not getting it from me. Those two things have been the most challenging and it’s still yet to be known if I have overcome them, as they continue to still happen.
How do you stay authentic and true to yourself while constantly creating content that appeals to a wide audience? Like I have said before, I am who I am and what you see is what you get. I only do videos that have some sort of message that has helped me in the past or something that I have gone through, or something that I know a lot of people need to hear. The other videos I do where I am lip syncing something or whatever it may be, is because I found it funny and I am hoping that my followers do as well. I like to think I have a good sense of humor, so hopefully if I find it funny…I hope my followers or even the people that don’t follow me think so as well.
Can you tell us about a particularly memorable or impactful experience you’ve had as an influencer? Without getting into too many details, I have had numerous messages from
people telling me that I have helped them get through some really tough times. Whether it be from a funny video making them laugh while by their mothers side in the hospital or one of my more serious messages telling me that they really needed to hear this today… and I just saved a life. I don’t take those things too lightly as I know there are a lot of people battling things from day to day. I am just glad that I can help lift their spirits in anyway possible, even if it’s through a little 30 second video.
What role does community engagement play in your content strategy, and how do you connect with your followers? Community engagement happens from time to time when people come up to me and comment on my videos they have seen or when I have people come up to me while eating dinner and say that they recognize me…That kind of stuff still blows my mind and is a little surreal at times but I just let them know how grateful I am for them following along and enjoying the content. I try to stay as connected to my followers as possible by interacting with them in the comments of my videos or responding to them every time they share a video and so on. I don’t want my followers ever thinking that I take this for granted, because if it wasn’t for them there would be any of this. I am grateful for the support they have shown when I am wearing a hoodie and they comment on it and ask where I got it from. I am grateful for the ongoing messages telling me to keep doing what I am doing because it makes a difference. These are just things that no matter who you are, you would want to hear. Just makes you feel good.
How has your life changed since you gained popularity on social media, and what have been some of the most rewarding aspects?
My life hasn’t changed all that much. I am still the same person I have always been. The only difference is that sometimes when I am out shopping, in the airport or having dinner, I will have someone come up to me and say they know who I am through social media. It’s always a fun and positive interaction. I would say that is probably the most rewarding part of it, is just knowing you are helping people even though you may not always know that you are.
What advice would you give to someone who wants to start their journey as a social media influencer or entrepreneur? I would say go for it, give it a try. It’s not always going to be fun and glamorous as I stated above, because usually when things are going well and taking off, there is always someone out there that is going to try to tear you down or take advantage. You just need to push through it and not let it get to you. If you really want to dedicate your time to it, it can bring you a lot of great things. You just have to be ready for it and have the time to dedicate to it. Just remember, when you put yourself out there…you are out there! There are going to be a lot of positive comments but there are always going to be those people that want the attention on them that will leave comments that have nothing to do with what you are posting. Those people just want the reactions and interactions from people because they are keyboard warriors. Just ignore it and move on. Try not to give them the
{ SHIFT+CONTROL } { WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? } { WOMAN ON THE RISE }
{ WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? }
“We did everything from cooking videos, unboxing videos and just general check in videos to see how people were doing. It was something fun that came from a rough time everyone was in.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
attention they are looking for. Just stay true to yourself and you own morals and goals. Don’t let the shift of social media take over and change who you really are as a person.
How do you see the future of social media influencing and e-commerce evolving, and what role do you hope to play in it?
I see both of those things continuing to grow. It’s the way the world is heading. More and more people are
watching things and getting their news, entertainment or whatever it may be on social media than their TV’s in their house now a days. So, I don’t see it slowing down anytime soon. With more and more people thinking they can just become a star on social media and trying to go that route…there will be more and more things we continue to see from people. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on what it is lol. I hope to just continue to ride this out and stay in the game as
long as I am relevant and still helping people and making them smile. That is originally why I got into it and that hasn’t changed. There are people that are just starting out and they will reach out to me and ask me to share one of their videos or comment on this or that. I try do those things because I know how hard it is to get this thing rolling and I am always willing to give a helping hand when I can.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
HIGH RISK PREGNANT MOTHERS
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
BY JOANNE RYAN
Last week, my leadership team and I had the opportunity and privilege to attend the 2024 RMHC International Conference in Chicago. 1,700 representatives from 50 countries were in attendance. Ronald McDonald House Charities is a global mission with programs and services that help support families along their children’s healthcare journies while alleviating the associated non-medical financial burdens. Last year alone, and collectively, the 385+ chapters worldwide helped families save $736 million in lodging, transportation, and meal expenses.
Our global reach supports communities throughout the world with 1000+ programs in 62 countries/regions. RMHC partners with hundreds of children’s hospitals around the world, each chapter providing at least one core RMHC program: a House, a Family Room or a Care Mobile. Millions of families across the globe are supported each year by RMHC’s compassionate, diverse, and dedicated local Chapter personnel uniquely serving their own community needs.
RMHC Global provides ongoing education and well-being support to Chapters around the world to ensure each has the tools, resources, and support needed to fulfill our global mission. Our current goal: Grow globally and serve more families, better.
In 2023, our core programs expanded to fulfill the unmet needs of families around the world. Systemwide, 9 new Ronald McDonald House programs opened; 5 House programs increased sleeping rooms and 9 new Ronald McDonald Family Room programs opened. 281,200+ volunteers dedicated their time
and talent around the world, last year, allowing Chapters to direct more donation dollars to other areas of programming that support families and children.
Some RMHC programs are locally tailored to make a measurable difference in the lives of families and children. A sample of these additional programs include:
Children treated in Australia
For thousands of children in Australia who are treated for serious illnesses, the impact of hospitalization, medications, and lengthy convalescence means that many fall behind in their studies. This program helps children staying at RMHC to catch up on their learning so that they can reach their full potential.
Learning centers in the Philippines
Accredited social workers and community volunteers facilitate lessons and group activities for the children to learn basic skills through fun and engaging activities. Learning centers are built in areas where they are most needed through a partnership with the Department of Social Welfare and Development and local government units. To date, there are 32 active learning centers throughout the Philippines.
Ronald McDonald Learning Centre, RMHC Malta
RMHC Malta hosts a range of services and programs for children and teens with learning or social challenges and their families. The Learning Centre features:
• A safe and therapeutic learning environment for children
• Training rooms
• Activity areas
• Fully-equipped learning kitchen
• Consultation room
Family cabins in Norway
In collaboration with the Stine Sofie Foundation, Norway is home to an innovative coping center for children who have experienced violence and abuse. Children and safe family members or safe caregivers stay together in five residential Ronald McDonald Family Cabins while receiving education to strengthen relationships and develop skills that contribute to more resilience in everyday life. Since 2016, the Ronald McDonald Family Cabins have accommodated over 700 children and families in Norway.
Ronald McDonald House to Home, Rochester, NY
Here in Rochester, we are building out our continuum of care to serve medically complex and fragile children and their families once discharged from the hospital. Evidence shows that keeping families close to their hospitalized child is vital for successful care, leading to shorter hospital stays, quicker recoveries, and reduced trauma. In 2023 alone, RMHCR provided 8,500 nights of lodging within or adjacent to the hospital, serving 3,000 family members and facilitating 35,000 service encounters. This effort resulted in over $2,000,000 in savings for families. Our continuum begins with mothers who have a high-risk pregnancy. We support these moms prior to their delivery; support them after delivery while their medically complex child is in care and will continue supportive care in the community through our House to Home mobile unit. For some of these families, the complexity of their children’s circumstances are longterm and lifelong.
Imagine the isolation and daily struggle of parents caring for a medically fragile child, relying on life-saving medical
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“This first of its kind in the RMHC world program focuses on improving the accessibility of telehealth services for medically complex children and their families.”
equipment while facing financial strain and uncertainty. Ronald McDonald House Charities of Rochester, NY (RMHCR) stands as a beacon of hope for these families, recognizing the urgency of healthcare access for this incredibly vulnerable population. RMHCR provides families facing critical illness, injury, or high-risk pregnancies with what they need most – each other. Our Continuum of Care model offers a comprehensive range of programs and services, supporting families through high-risk pregnancies, premature births, complex pediatric care, and mental health and wellness initiatives. We understand that Minutes Matter. Beyond lodging, transportation, nutritious meals, and community support, we are pioneering our House to Home initiative to deliver enhanced telehealth services and other supportive interventions directly to the homes of families facing daunting medical challenges. The House to Home mobile clinic will prioritize agility and cost-effectiveness with a more compact design than many other mobile clinics, focusing specifically on a population with demonstrated greater need. This initiative marks a significant milestone as the first medical mobile unit in the country specifically targeting children with medical complexities and the only unit of its kind globally within the Ronald McDonald House Global Network. This scalable model will position Rochester at the forefront of care for medically complex children, with the potential to create a profound impact far beyond our region.
This first of its kind in the RMHC world program focuses on improving the accessibility of telehealth services for medically complex children and their families. Recognizing that 1% of medically
complex pediatric patients account for 30% of pediatric healthcare resources, we have identified a critical gap in support for families with children who have medical complexity. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), children and babies with medical complexities have conditions affecting multiple organ systems and require significant medical care, such as cerebral palsy, spina bifida, chronic lung diseases, congenital cardiac disturbances, intellectual disabilities, and complications from prematurity. Many are immune-compromised and require life-sustaining equipment like ventilators, g-tubes, and oxygen. By bringing medical and social support directly to these families’ homes, we aim to improve outcomes, reduce the strain on healthcare resources, and alleviate the stress on families facing multiple social determinants of health. Notably, 95% of the families we serve come from New York State, with a significant majority (57%) being Medicaid recipients and falling into the low-income category. When looking specifically at the families served by Golisano Children’s Hospital’s (GCH) Complex Care Program, which we currently support with our traditional programs and will provide enhanced telehealth services to via House to Home, 83% are Medicaid recipients.
House to Home will enhance telehealth services for medically complex infants and children by providing post-discharge appointments in the homes of families enrolled in GCH’s Complex Pediatric Program.
Through our partnership with GCH and the expert consultation of Dr. Arturo Brito, President & CEO of the Children’s
Health Fund (CHF), we are bridging gaps in care for these families and bringing supportive interventions to their homes, extending the reach of our core housing initiative and significantly improving care accessibility.
The House to Home program is a groundbreaking solution that revolutionizes care for medically complex children. By delivering healthcare services directly to their homes, we aim to alleviate the immense burden on families with a medically complex child, enhance health outcomes, and champion health equity. Our approach is designed to impact the Quintuple Aim: increasing quality, decreasing costs, enhancing the family experience, reducing clinician burnout, and creating a conduit to equitable care access. In essence House to Home is the bridge to equitable healthcare for many of the most vulnerable families in our region, including our rural areas. This proactive approach detects complications early, reducing readmissions and easing healthcare strain. Addressing missed appointments, our aim is a <1% no-show rate, expecting at least 20% improvements in readmissions, inpatient days, and length of stay.
House to Home is an example of how our team in Rochester consistently brings RMHC’s Global Mission home, tailoring programs to ensure we are making critical Local Impact.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BREAKING THE STIGMA PART I: GIRL, PROGRESSING
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
BY VERONICA RYAN
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is one of the mental health “field’s most misunderstood, misdiagnosed and stigmatized conditions” (Hancock, 2017). Based on my experience, I’ll add a few more adjectives to that list: little-known, not discussed, hidden, feared. The stigma around BPD will tell you that I am a manipulative attention seeker who plays the victim, a hopeless case past the point of help. It will tell that you I am prone to violence, that I am dangerous. It will tell you I am a monster (Whitbourne, 2022).
That’s the stigma’s story, but I’m challenging it with my story. My story starts with pain, but it ends with hope. I’ll tell you about the pain because—if you’re hurting, if you’re in the same kind of pain—I want you to know you are not alone, you are not at fault, you are not bad. And I’ll tell you about the hope so you can see how good your life can be by looking at how far I’ve come, thanks to the wonderful people at the Psychiatry High Risk Program.
a shepherd. My self-esteem was low on good days and below zero on bad days, and I began to self-harm (guilty perpetrator state) (Gregory, 2022, p. 55). What I didn’t realize was that I had begun to exhibit symptoms of BPD. You see, BPD is sneaky: my symptoms were initially chalked up to typical adolescent behavior or to preexisting diagnoses of anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, and anorexia. Only in hindsight did it
As a teen, I cried over anything and everything, from an incorrect takeout order to my favorite jeans being in the wash. I hated being alone, and needed to be in the company of others, where noise could distract me from a deep aching void. I had no sense of who I was without someone holding my hand, a sheep always looking for
with no substance or soul. I was a chameleon, changing color constantly to fit in. I could easily become anyone you wanted me to be, your worst nightmare or your wildest dream (helpless victim state) (Gregory, 2022, p. 54). As BPD progressed, however, I moved from what professionals refer to as “dependency wish” into an intense period of “autonomy wish” that wreaked havoc on my life (Gregory, 2022, p. 80).
I experienced total upheaval, radical swings and changes in my morals, beliefs, opinions, likes, dislikes, goals, and communication—even my physical presentation. Feelings of grandiosity and superiority protected me from shame (angry victim state) (Gregory, 2022, p. 57). As time went on, this complex worsened and I felt destined for greatness, and even God-like; Jesus Christ who? I displayed antisocial personality traits; relationships felt hollow, and I viewed those around me with disgust. Life was a game without consequences, and people were pawns to be played (demigod perpetrator state) (Gregory, 2022, p. 59). I was impulsive, always flying too close to the sun. I experienced “splitting,” or “black and white thinking,” to an extreme, viewing myself, others, and experiences as all good or all bad, with nothing in between. I had a broken relationship with physical intimacy, alternating between hypersexuality and sexual repulsion. I would look into the mirror with tear-stained cheeks, not recognizing the face staring back at me, and ask, “Who am I?” Guilt and shame ate me alive, and I felt like nature’s worst mistake.
My moods became even more erratic, cycling through highs and lows within the span of a single day. Teenage tears were replaced with full blown outbursts where all I could see was red. Consumed by rage I would blackout and dissociate. Completely detached
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{ BEAUTIFUL, POWERFUL, DESERVING }
“Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is one of the mental health “field’s most misunderstood, misdiagnosed and stigmatized conditions” (Hancock, 2017).”
from reality and my physical self, I watched each episode from outside my body. Words were instruments of violence; I would cut where I knew it would hurt most. I was
to a hard stop. But looking back on it now, what I see is Girl, Progressing. Every stage – the pain and healing, the lows and highs – is a necessary part of the story. I had to live through
Join me next month for Breaking the Stigma Part II: Never Say “Goodbye.” Not broken, beautiful.
XOXO
Veronica
articles, I will share more about those hopeful stages. For now, I will leave you with this: You’ve probably heard of Girl, Interrupted? The dark times definitely felt like interruptions, like my life had come
each one to arrive at today. And today (and tomorrow, and the days after that) is a good day.
…End Part I…
STOP BITING YOUR TONGUE
BY ANNE LEAH MAURO
5 TIPS TO HELP YOU SPEAK UP
This topic may need to be taken with a grain of salt. It might even ruffle some feathers, but I’m going to write about it anyway. Because that’s the point- to ruffle feathers.
I have a small community dedicated to Rebel Woman Entrepreneurs and I gave them a list of topic ideas to vote on. This topic won for this month’s column feature and I think it’s something that needs to be talked about because I have personally struggled with this, even most people who know me personally don’t think of me as a soft spoken follower (I wasn’t always like this though!) There have been many times where I’ve been considered a leader, trendsetter or even a bad influence. But I haven’t always been this way. It’s something I’ve worked on over the last decade or so in different phases and areas of my life.
When women stop biting their tongues, they are immediately labeled as “bitchy” or “difficult” but I’m here to tell you it’s just the opposite. Eventually - they morph into what’s known as thought leadership.
psychotic. People will literally go above and beyond to keep women quiet. I will also tell you that for every woman powerful enough to speak her mind she has a support system empowering her to do it.
Personally, I’ve had this effect on certain people where I’ve been told I’m too loud, overwhelming and intimidating (mostly by men). Because of societal standards, I conformed
due to the fact that I’ve always been interested in male dominated fields. A few examples are my corporate IT career, my degree in Computer Network Systems, my passion for motorcycles, and of course entrepreneurship. I have been in a constant battle with men who have had to make me feel “less than” them because I’ve intimidated them. So, I did what most women do - conformed and bit my tongue.
The problem is that society does not play well with women who have strong opinions and who voice them. The minute a woman speaks her mind, and becomes a thought leader she’s labeled as a loudmouth, a bad influence, or even worse crazy and
and convinced myself it was my own problem (hello gaslighting?) I would then act more professional, tone down my voice, and play the damsel in distress role, to avoid awkward confrontation or degrading sexist remarks from the opposite sex. Or most importantly, look less intelligent so as to not offend or piss them off. My experience with this is mostly
Even then I still chose to pursue these endeavors, because I believed then and I still believe now that anything a man can do, a woman can do better. The only difference is I’m choosing not to bite my tongue anymore.
You see, before I took the stage on the speaker panel in April for the Influential Women’s Entrepreneur Expo - we were given the opportunity to have a speaker coaching session with Kim Fischer. During this session I opened up and asked a very vulnerable question:
When I speak, people tend to tell me I overwhelm them or overpower them or I interrupt them - I have ADHD and I try to be cognitive about it and try not to do it, but do you think that’s also part of my nervousness? Perhaps doing the breath work and focusing on slowing myself down will help with that?
Kim completely changed my perspective and empowered me more in that 5 minutes with her reply:
{ FUEL YOUR LEGACY
“Even then I still chose to pursue these endeavors, because I believed then and I still believe now that anything a man can do, a woman can do better. The only difference is I’m choosing not to bite my tongue anymore.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
I think it absolutely will help, but I also just think that is your passion, period. I think that a lot of women don’t have strong examples of role models of women speaking. And it being safe. There is conditioning there too, that I want to point out because you are totally safe to speak. However, you need to speak in whatever value. Sometimes it’s the receivership on the other end.
“Bite your tongue” is a phrase that means to keep quiet, especially when someone is saying something unpleasant or rude. Most times - if a man does it, it’s brushed off or made out to be a joke.
But if a woman does it - it stings a little and everyone loses their minds. To be frank and openly honest, I’m sick and tired of biting my tongue and people being offended or playing victim when they’re faced with hard truths.
As women, we are considered bitchy if we speak up, or are told we have an attitude. But guess what? We’re faced with hard truths every day. So I’ve accepted the fact that if I speak on an unpopular opinion or stop biting my tongue on topics that align with my mission, my vision and my values and people label me then, so be it. They’re not the right person for that message.
I want more women to normalize this thinking and collaboratively be okay with it. We need to support each other and remind each other
that we’re allowed to speak up loud and proud on topics we’re passionate about. I want to give you 5 tips to learn how to stop biting your tongue and start to move into your own cultivated thought leadership.
Tip #1:
Get super clear on your mission, vision and values. Being a thought leader on topics that are in full alignment will not only be easy but powerful if you’re in full alignment with these things.
Tip #2:
Don’t attack others’ values or personal opinions. Always leave room for different perspectives and open minded discussion. We can agree to disagree. The right people for your message will hear you and eat it up.
Tip #3:
Realize when you are biting your tongue, and find a safe place to express yourself on certain topics. This could be journaling (which I’ve done and continue to do regularly) then eventually you will build confidence to use other platforms such as publications, speaking engagements, blogging or even social media. But until you have developed a thick skin, I advise you to start in a place where others can’t openly attack you. My pro tip is if you’re discussing something very controversial, and think the trolls will come after you, turn off commenting.
Tip #4:
Prepare yourself to have hard
conversations, but also know when to walk away and protect your energy and peace. When you stop biting your tongue, and expressing yourself and evolve into your own thought leadership, not only will you offend people, you will also attract copycats and trolls who will challenge you, your beliefs and values.
Tip #5:
Surround yourself with other thought leaders, influential, and empowering and supportive women. Ones that are ideally a few steps ahead of you to help you step outside your comfort zone but with grace, and a little tough love. Listen to others speak on audio, (such as podcasts), in person or on video. Read publications and remember, as Kim pointed out. We are safe.
Women who bite their tongues, rarely make history. I encourage you to make history and continue to Fuel Your Legacy with your own thought leadership.
Until Next Time - Anne
{ FINANCIALLY SPEAKING } JESSICA LEPORE
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Jessica Lepore is a Financial Professional with New York Life Insurance Company
Can you share with us a bit about your journey and background, leading you to where you are today?
I came to a crossroads in my life where I truly desired to change my circumstances, and choosing a new meaningful career was the way that made the most sense for me to do that. I had previously worked for my family all of my life, so I decided it was time to leave the nest and venture out on my own. I stumbled upon an opportunity with New York Life that really seemed like a great fit for me. I began with a rapid start at this company and things have taken off for me ever since. I am grateful for my unique path because it has brought me to exactly where I need to be at this moment in my life.
Working for a family-owned business like Chili Liquor must have been quite an experience. Can you tell us what that was like?
PHOTOS BY JULIE OLDFIELD
very proud of my family for overcoming various struggles over the years and continuing to let my grandfather’s legacy shine over the Chili community.
What prompted your decision to transition from working at Chili Liquor to pursuing a career with New York Life?
After deciding I wanted to change careers, I went searching for something with a bit more flexibility and a bigger company structure that had the ability for more reach. I wanted to reignite my passion
When I was younger I would always be coming up with melodies for songs and lyrics whenever I could. I thoroughly enjoy writing songs and the process from start to finish of making a song, it’s super rewarding. Some highlights for me include many singles over the past few years, releasing an album and 3 music videos, and having an album release party with the people I care the most about. The music follows me and my healing journey in life. I highly encourage music as a form of therapy for whomever may need it at particular points in their lives.
I loved working for my family, it felt like home every day and I was able to be surrounded by people that I love all the time. At the liquor store everyone has each other’s backs and it was nice to come into a laid-back job when the outside world was very chaotic. Chili Liquor is a friendly environment that has amazing customers and has seen tremendous growth over recent years. Throughout my time there I was able to implement many tools that helped my family and the business succeed. I am
for life, so I knew it had to be a career in which I’d be able to help people grow, as I am a natural coach and leader. Soon enough I came across an offering from New York Life and I headed into the first interview. The rest is history!
Your musical background is intriguing. Could you share some highlights or milestones from your musical journey? I have always loved music and creating music for as long as I can remember.
Who are some individuals that have inspired you along your path, and why do they inspire you?
My parents and siblings have always inspired me to do more and become a better person inside and out. They inspire me because they continue to believe in me and support me even at times where I don’t feel adequate. I’ve also been really fortunate to have had many sports and life coaches throughout the years who have inspired me to pursue greatness. Recently, I’ve been lucky to be mentored at New York Life by my manager. He’s been such a great support to me and truly believes in my skills which keeps me striving for more. Most importantly, I am an inspiration to myself every day. I have been able to overcome many challenges in my life and I finally feel like I’m at the point where I’m designing my life how I desire it to be and I should feel inspired and proud for that as I continue through this journey.
{ FINANCIALLY SPEAKING }
{ WOMAN ON THE RISE } YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“I have chosen to use that as fuel added to my fire and to motivate myself to become the best version of myself in hopes to help other people become their best versions.”
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Choosing the insurance industry is quite a departure from the music world. What drew you to this particular field? Although a big focus of mine throughout periods of my life, music has been on the side of my main career almost always. I love creating music and it will be something I take part in regardless of if I am able to do it full time in this lifetime. As for transitioning to the insurance industry, I wanted to take on a career that would help me grow in a variety of ways and that I would feel good about day in and day out. With choosing this career I’d be able to become a financial professional, gain very important knowledge, help many people, have a flexible schedule, and do many things I have never done. Everything about this career has pushed me to excel in the ways I knew I needed and wanted to.
With your experience in both family business and insurance, have you encountered any unique challenges, particularly in working with family? Working with my family was a blessing, but it did also have its challenges.
Sometimes we would come into scheduling conflicts or just agree to disagree on how things should be done. Overall, working with my family was comforting because we were always there for each other (and still are). They are truly my biggest supporters and I wouldn’t be able to be where I am today without their help and guidance.
What are some of your favorite musical genres, and how do they influence your life and work?
During my life I have been heavily influenced by the music I grew up on from my parents including Southern Rock and Blues and Alternative categories. Today I mostly listen to R&B, HipHop and Pop music. Although I may not listen to other genres of music as often, I certainly have an appreciation for all forms of music! My music choices can often depend on my mood. I love the timelessness of music and how it can bring you back to a particular part of your life. I love that I am present in the moment during the songs I play or hear live, yet I don’t necessarily see the music I listen to influencing my life much more than that. The music I create, however, seems to really propel my life and healing journey forward.
How do you balance your passion for music with your career in the insurance industry?
Music has been a fundamental part of my life and it has always been there for me, especially during the challenging times of my life. I don’t know where my music journey will take me, but I really enjoy the creative process and the ability to express my voice and my emotions through music.
Can you share a pivotal moment in your career that significantly shaped your professional trajectory?
One of the days towards the beginning of my journey with New York Life I was contemplating where I would like to take my career, ultimately deciding that a position of leadership and influence would be ideal for me based on my skills and goals. That same day, my manager sat down with me and asked
me my thoughts on participating in a leadership program that is offered to some agents at New York Life. That moment I knew I would be destined for more within the company and I had all the support I needed to get going!
As a woman in the insurance industry, have you faced any specific challenges or barriers, and how did you overcome them?
I have witnessed some people disregard my knowledge and my ability to pursue a career in this field. I have chosen to use that as fuel added to my fire and to motivate myself to become the best version of myself in hopes to help other people become their best versions. I know there are challenges being a woman in this field, but there are many advantages too. Being a woman entrepreneur is very free and calm, yet there is diligence about it. I like to take my time to do things the correct way the first time and truly get to know my clients and the other people I’m working with. I believe this makes for a solid approach in building long-term relationships.
What advice would you give to young women aspiring to enter the insurance industry?
Aim to set yourself apart by your strengths and the connections you may already have within the community. Be easy on yourself during the process of becoming an agent because it can seem daunting at times and you may want to quit but don’t give up. Stay dedicated to the task at hand and you will see results start to snowball. Each and every day is an opportunity to grow, learn, and help as many
{ FINANCIALLY SPEAKING }
“I came to a crossroads in my life where I truly desired to change my circumstances, and choosing a new meaningful career was the way that made the most sense for me to do that.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
people as you can. Encourage other women to talk about money and help break stigma that is often linked to money and finance being a male-dominated field. You can do this!
How do you stay motivated and inspired in your day-to-day work?
I know that at the end of the day I am helping people with the most important decisions in their lives, and if I don’t spread the knowledge that I know I would be doing them a disservice. I am a born leader and educator, and I take pride in showing people how they can better prepare and strategize in their lives!
What are some goals or aspirations you have for your career in the insurance industry?
My main goal is to be a bigger resource for small businesses in the area, especially woman-owned businesses. Oftentimes owners are focused solely on their business and don’t set up a proper financial goal for themselves. I’m here to help make sure that their goals actually get implemented and the owner and everyone associated are taken care of. Eventually I’d love to have my own team of agents who work hand-in-hand to accomplish this goal!
How do you approach networking and building professional relationships in your field?
You never know what situation you are going to walk into, for better or for worse, so I try to keep an open mind while networking and speaking with other professionals. This industry is pretty competitive, yet there are degrees to it so what one professional may love to
do another one may hate to do. There is oftentimes potential for collaboration within the industry.
Can you share a bit about your involvement in community or philanthropic endeavors?
I have been a Youth Soccer Coach with Chili Soccer Association for over 10 years, and I’ve taken a few other volunteer positions with sports teams over the years as well. Within the next few months my goal with New York Life is to further develop various volunteer opportunities with local businesses that are in the beginning phases, in order to provide for those in need around the community. How do you stay updated on industry trends and developments in the insurance sector? New York Life provides all agents with updated industry trends nearly on a weekly basis. We have training schedules that we diligently follow and also curriculum that is built in so that we can keep up with the ever-changing world around us.
What are some of the most rewarding aspects of your work with New York Life?
I enjoy being able to help people on a daily basis and truly give them the opportunity for peace of mind that they deserve. I love genuine conversations with my clients and being able to show them different ways to implement solutions. Working with New York Life not only gives me and my clients the support and strength of a Fortune 500 company, but so many resources as well. Personally, I really love having flexibility in my schedule and building my business as I desire within the basic
structure of the company. My team is always there for me when I need them and they are pushing me towards my goals and future successes.
In your opinion, what sets New York Life apart from other insurance companies? New York Life not only provides such great education and industry training to its agents, but also the motivation to strive to serve clients better. New York Life also has the financial strength and longevity to deliver on its promises which I think is crucial when deciding who to work with. When you choose a New York Life agent, you don’t just get a transaction, you get exceptional service and a dedicated agent for life who will always tailor a custom solution for you and your unique situation.
Looking ahead, what are you most excited about in your career journey? I am most excited for the potential to meet many different people from all walks of life. I think life is to be experienced and this career definitely allows for that to happen. I am open to any new opportunities that come my way during my journey!
New York Life is an Equal Opportunity Employer – M/F/Veteran/Disability/ Sexual Orientation/Gender Identity and I’ll put you in contact with my manager. After two years of subsidized training, our agents become independent career agents.
STEPHANIE KING
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Stephanie King has always had a strong passion for pushing boundaries and challenging herself beyond the ordinary. From a young age, she recognized the importance of helping others, an insight that would shape her future endeavors. Her journey, however, is not one that follows a typical trajectory. What began as a passion for medical research evolved into an unexpected but fulfilling venture into the world of entrepreneurship, specifically in haircare.
Stephanie’s life took a pivotal turn during her childhood after a life-changing incident ignited a desire to work in the field of malady research. This profound experience set her on a path that led her to pursue a degree in Science and Biological Sciences at SUNY Brockport. With dreams of becoming a research doctor, Stephanie dedicated herself to her studies, fully immersed in the pursuit of knowledge that would one day help her find solutions to some of life’s most complex health challenges.
Yet, as life often does, it had different plans for Stephanie. Despite her dedication to the medical field, another passion began to surface—one that she could no longer ignore. The idea of being her own boss, building something from the ground up, and taking control of her destiny started to take root in her mind. The thought of entrepreneurship excited her, and slowly but surely, Stephanie began to entertain the idea of stepping away from her medical
ambitions to explore a new path.
The transition from science to haircare might seem like an unusual shift, but for Stephanie, it was a natural evolution. What started as a personal interest in beauty and self-care blossomed into something much more significant. As she delved deeper into the world of haircare, Stephanie discovered a new passion—one that combined her love for science with her desire to help
that this was where she was meant to be. Haircare became more than just a personal journey; it became a mission.
Stephanie’s vision for her haircare brand began to take shape, driven by her desire to create products that nourished not only hair but also the spirit. She envisioned a line of products that would boost confidence and selfesteem, helping her customers feel their best every day. This vision was not just about selling products—it was about creating an experience, one that would make people feel beautiful, inside and out.
others feel confident and beautiful.
The business side of haircare fascinated Stephanie. She found herself captivated by the process of creating something from scratch, from formulating products to building a brand that resonated with customers. The more she learned about the industry, the more she realized
Stephanie’s journey into haircare has been one of both personal and professional growth. She embraced the challenges of entrepreneurship with the same determination and drive that had guided her academic pursuits. Learning the ins and outs of running a business, from product development to marketing, Stephanie became a formidable force in the beauty industry.
What sets Stephanie apart is her commitment to her customers. She understands that haircare is deeply personal, and she is dedicated to creating products that cater to the unique needs of each individual. Her products are more than just solutions— they are carefully crafted to enhance the lives of those who use them. Stephanie believes that beauty is about confidence, and her goal is to empower her customers to feel confident in their own skin.
“Her ability to pivot from a career in medical research to entrepreneurship in the beauty industry showcases her resilience, adaptability, and unwavering commitment to making a difference in the lives of others.”
Her brand has grown into more than just a business; it has become a community. Stephanie has built a loyal customer base that trusts her products and shares in her passion for self-care. She is not just selling haircare products—she is sharing her journey, her values, and her belief in the power of beauty to transform lives.
Stephanie King’s story is a testament to the power of following one’s passions, even when the path is not straightforward.
Her ability to pivot from a career in medical research to entrepreneurship in the beauty industry showcases her resilience, adaptability, and unwavering commitment to making a difference in the lives of others. As she continues to grow her brand, Stephanie remains focused on her ultimate goal: to help people feel confident, beautiful, and empowered through her unique blend of products and services.
In an industry where trends come and go, Stephanie’s dedication to quality, authenticity, and customer care sets her apart. She has proven that success is not about sticking to a predetermined path but about embracing change, taking risks, and finding fulfillment in the journey. Stephanie King is not just a businesswoman—she is a visionary, a leader, and an inspiration to all who aspire to create something meaningful.
THE POWER of Confidence
{ KIM IS MANIFESTING
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“In the competitive world of business, confidence isn’t just a desirable trait – it’s a necessity.”
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
BY KIM FISCHER
Why You Need to Be the Most Confident Speaker in the Room for Your Business
In the competitive world of business, confidence isn’t just a desirable trait – it’s a necessity. Whether you’re pitching to investors, leading a team meeting, or presenting at a conference, being the most confident speaker in the room can significantly impact your business’s success. Let’s explore why confidence is so vital and how it can transform your entrepreneurial journey.
Confidence Commands Attention
In any business setting, the ability to command attention is crucial. When you speak with confidence, you naturally draw people in and hold their interest. Your audience is more likely to listen to and engage with what you’re saying. This attention is essential, whether you’re trying to persuade potential investors, secure a new client, or motivate your team.
A confident speaker exudes authority and credibility, making it easier for others to trust and believe in your message. This trust can be a deciding factor in critical business decisions, helping you to achieve your goals more effectively.
Confidence Builds Trust and Credibility
Trust and credibility are foundational to any successful business relationship. When you speak confidently, you project an image of competence and reliability. People are more likely to trust someone who appears sure of themselves and their ideas. This trust can lead to stronger partnerships, more sales, and a better reputation in your industry. Investors, clients, and team members need to believe that you are capable of delivering on your promises. Confidence in your speaking abilities reassures them that you have the knowledge, skills, and determination to succeed. It also demonstrates that you believe in yourself and your business, which is critical for inspiring confidence in others.
Confidence Enhances Persuasion and Influence
One of the most important aspects of business is the ability to persuade and influence others. Whether you’re negotiating a deal, selling a product, or rallying your team around a new initiative, your ability to influence others is key. Confident speakers are often more persuasive because they can articulate their points clearly and convincingly. Confidence allows you to present your ideas with conviction, making it easier to sway opinions and drive action. It also helps you to handle objections and questions effectively,
reinforcing your position and persuading others to see things from your perspective.
Confidence Improves Communication Skills
Effective communication is a cornerstone of business success. Confidence plays a significant role in how well you communicate your ideas, needs, and expectations. When you’re confident, you’re more likely to speak clearly, listen actively, and respond thoughtfully. This level of communication is essential for building strong relationships and achieving your business objectives. Confident speakers are also better at non-verbal communication. They maintain eye contact, use appropriate body language, and project their voice in a way that reinforces their message. These skills help to create a more engaging and impactful communication experience for your audience.
Confidence Reduces Anxiety and Stress
Public speaking can be a source of anxiety and stress for many people. However, developing confidence in your speaking abilities can help to alleviate these feelings. When you’re confident, you’re less likely to be overwhelmed by nerves or fear of failure. This allows you to focus more on delivering your message effectively and less.
{ BOSSY ROC }
BEING BOSSY WITH KELLY M.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
BY KELLY METRAS
Growing up, I was not a small child. The stories began from birth: how my mother had no neck, how a tiny woman became built like a linebacker for 9 months, how I came out the size of a toddler and nothing fit me…
As I grew, I became known as a tomboy, as a character, as a huge personality. Never the words used in describing girls around me. I stained every outfit my mother put me in, tore out the seam of my flower girl dress hours before my aunt’s wedding, my hair usually a mess. My dolls had their hair cut, their clothes ruined, and were often pierced and tattooed. Playing soccer as a child, I was put on defense because of my size, and I hated every minute of it. These little girls are getting cheered on to get past me, to score, to be celebrated. No one thinks about the kids that stop the goals (unless it’s the goalie). I hated running because I knew I wasn’t as fast or as good as the other girls. I learned to get by, by not being the best. By using humor and selfdeprecation.
One day during soccer, my father pulled me aside. He said something along the lines of ‘You are not the fastest kid out there. You are not going to beat her to the ball. But you can use your size to your advantage. GET IN HER WAY.’
Use your size. Get in her way… As I grew to be a teen, these moments defined a plethora of internal issues that I struggled with, including a toolong eating disorder. Being raised in the waif days of the 90s didn’t help my self-esteem. I thought I could never be the best at anything because I would never look the part.
But then I found business ownership. Being the boss defines me. I get to make the rules, set the standards, and make sure my team is being utilized to their best potential.
I often think back to that conversation with my dad. GET IN THEIR WAY. I refuse to do things “just because” someone else does it that way. I refuse to be the norm, average, and not seen. And I get to make that choice. I am not always successful in my endeavors. I am too passionate, to emotionally involved to be a successful business owner. I care too much that each person- employee or guest- is seen. I will choose to not pay myself before cutting someone else’s hours.
I truly believe that we can change the way businesses are run. I take all of those raw emotions, self-doubts, and uncomfortable feelings, and I funnel them to get in the way. To change the trajectory. To do things differently. I will never be the fastest or cutest girl on the team. But I will stand for them while I stand for all. And I will get in the way.
Kelly B and I run our businesses with this at the center, which is why we get along so well! One of the topics that we both utilize and talk about often is Restorative Discipline. Kelly B is a Certified Restorative Justice Leaderand putting Restorative Practices into action is one of the topics that have bonded us as business friends. Recently, Kelly B and I spoke to a group about Restorative Discipline, which is an offshoot of Restorative Justice principles that are used in schools, jails, and other places to heal people at the center of the crisis at hand.
Restorative Justice began with Indigenous peoples and has expanded as a process in the criminal justice system- and it has been proven to work. As leaders, we can choose how to deal with our teams, and it needs to be equitably and effectively handledwhich is Restorative Discipline. Punitive discipline does not make change and often hinders all involved. This seminar was not taken well by many. We were asked to not participate in another group because we were seen as sharing wrong ideals by some. But we continue to stand by those processes in our workplaces. Our teams work together to provide discipline and restoration to their relationships that fit the offense. No one is surprised to be fired when the time comes. Our teams are stronger because of these policies. Restorative Discipline is not a common business practice, but it needs to be. It gets in the way of broken relationships and divisive relic policies that are held so dear by so many.
You can learn more about how we utilize Restorative Discipline on our podcast, Getting Real with BOSSY, where we share stories of business owners who are also GETTING IN THE WAY.
Reach out to Kelly B if you would like to know more about this process for your business.
Be bold, be brave, be the Boss.
GOPHER & CHANCE
BY THE ACS TEAM
Gopher
In the heartwarming tales of our shelter, there are stories that stand out and touch our hearts deeply. One such story is that of Gopher, a resilient and affectionate 7-year-old female cat who recently found her forever home after spending over 1,000 days with us. Her journey is a testament to patience, and perseverance that some of our shelter animals experience on their long journey
Gopher arrived at our shelter as a mature cat, already set in her ways and accustomed to her routines. While kittens often find homes quickly due to their playful antics and undeniable cuteness, older cats like Gopher face a different reality. Many potential adopters overlook them, searching instead for younger pets. This meant that Gopher spent a significant amount of time waiting, hoping that one day, someone would see past her age and recognize the love she had to offer.
During her stay, Gopher became a beloved member of our shelter family. She had her favorite spots, like the sunny window ledge where she would bask in the warmth and watch the world go by. She enjoyed the company of our staff and volunteers, who spent countless hours petting her, and ensuring she felt loved.
Gopher’s story is also one of transformation. Over the years, she taught us the value of understanding and patience. She showed us that every animal has its unique personality and rhythm and that sometimes, the greatest joys come from the quiet moments shared with a friend who has been waiting a long time to find their place
compassionate family visited our shelter, searching for a cat to welcome into their home. They didn’t mind her age; they saw her heart. They recognized the years of love she had yet to give and decided to offer her the forever home she deserved. The day Gopher left our shelter was filled with mixed emotions—joy for her new beginning and a bittersweet farewell to a cherished friend.
in the world. Gopher’s patience and resilience were a daily reminder of why we do what we do.
Finally, after over 1,000 days of waiting, Gopher’s moment arrived. A kind and
Gopher’s adoption is a reminder of the importance of giving all animals a chance, regardless of their age. Older cats have so much love and companionship to offer, and they often come with the added benefit of being more settled and independent. Gopher’s story encourages us all to look beyond the surface and to consider the deeper, often hidden, treasures in every animal.
As Gopher settles into her new home, we celebrate her journey and the countless other animals who are still waiting for their forever homes. Her story is a beacon of hope and a call to action for all of us to continue supporting and advocating for the animals in our care. We are grateful to Gopher’s new family for opening their hearts and home to her and to all our supporters who make stories like Gopher’s possible.
“Left behind, Chance spent a total of 200 days in the shelter before finally finding his forever home on July 3rd.”
CHANCE
Chance is a 10-year-old male husky who finally found his forever home after a long journey. Chance arrived at our shelter in December shortly before Christmas, as part of a bonded pair with his mother, Princess. Despite numerous trial runs, they were often passed by as
a duo. Realizing we needed to do what was best for both seniors, we made the tough decision to separate them and closely monitor their progress. Initially, it was a rough start, but with time, they grew more independent. When an adopter came along for Princess, we couldn’t deny her the perfect
home, and her happy ending was featured in last month’s issue. Left behind, Chance spent a total of 200 days in the shelter before finally finding his forever home on July 3rd. We celebrate Chance’s resilience and the dedicated team that never gave up on him.
WAYMON DANIELS
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
BY DR. TUNYA GRIFFIN
A Phoenix Rises: The Transformative Journey of Waymon Daniels
This is the compelling story of Waymon Daniels, a man who rose from the ashes of a tumultuous childhood, addiction, and incarceration to become a beacon of hope and inspiration for others. Waymon’s journey is a testament to the power of resilience, self-discovery, and the undeniable potential for change. His path was far from easy, but it led him to become the man he is today—a leader, an entrepreneur, and a symbol of redemption.
Waymon’s story begins in the shadows of an absent father. Growing up without a paternal figure left him feeling abandoned and alone, emotions that would shape his early life. The absence of his father was a void that cast a long shadow over his childhood, leading him down a path of self-doubt and rebellion. Without a positive role model to guide him, Waymon struggled to find his place in the world.
Feeling disconnected and misunderstood, Waymon acted out, seeking attention in all the wrong ways. His behavior became increasingly disruptive, and it wasn’t long before he was expelled from every school system in the state of New York. This repeated rejection only deepened his sense of worthlessness.
To make matters worse, his family labeled him as “dumb,” a cruel assessment that Waymon internalized. These harsh words eroded his self-esteem, making him believe that he was incapable of achieving anything meaningful. To dull the pain of feeling like a failure, Waymon turned to drugs and alcohol. Addiction became a way to escape the harsh realities of his life, but it also led him further down a destructive path.
His involvement in criminal activities soon caught up with him, and Waymon found himself behind bars. For seven long years, he was imprisoned, paying the price for his choices. Yet, even in the depths of despair, a spark of hope remained.
Prison was a wake-up call for Waymon. The stark reality of life behind bars hit him hard. He witnessed firsthand the devastating effects of incarceration on his fellow inmates. The screams of men being raped and the anguish of those who felt they couldn’t survive the isolation haunted him. He saw the despair in their eyes, a reflection of the same hopelessness he felt inside.
But the real turning point came not from within the prison walls but from the voices of his children. During a phone call with his 12-year-old daughter, she uttered words that would forever change him. She said she wanted a man just like him—a statement that struck him to his core. At that moment, Waymon realized the responsibility he had not just to himself, but to his children. His 7-year-old daughter also questioned his love for her and her mother, further deepening his resolve to change.
These heartfelt words hit Waymon like a ton of bricks. He knew he had to change, not just for his own sake, but for the sake of his children and family. It was at this low point that the phoenix within him began to stir. He made a vow to himself and his daughters that he would become the man they deserved.
Waymon’s transformation was nothing short of remarkable. He committed himself to self-improvement and refused to let his past define him. Through determination, faith, and hard work, Waymon turned his life around. He
emerged from prison with a renewed sense of purpose and a determination to create a better future for himself and his family.
Waymon’s post-incarceration journey was not without its challenges, but he persevered. He channeled his energy into building a better life, focusing on entrepreneurship and community engagement. Today, Waymon is the proud owner of two businesses, a thriving entrepreneur who has turned his vision into reality.
His journey didn’t stop there. Waymon became a speaker, sharing his story to inspire others who faced similar struggles. He also hosts a podcast, using his platform to reach a wider audience with his message of hope and resilience. His voice, once silenced by the weight of addiction and incarceration, now resonates with power and purpose.
Waymon’s commitment to his community is evident through his work with initiatives like the Gun Involved Violence Elimination (GIVE) program at Pathstone. Here, he works tirelessly to prevent others from making the same mistakes he did, offering support and guidance to those at risk of falling into the cycle of violence and incarceration.
Waymon Daniels is not just a success story; he is a living testament to the transformative power of self-belief and perseverance. His journey from a lost and troubled youth to a successful entrepreneur and community leader is a story of redemption and hope. Waymon’s life has touched countless others, serving as a reminder that no matter how difficult our circumstances may be, we always have the power to rise from the ashes and create a better tomorrow.
SEMAGLUTIDE { HEALTHY WOMAN }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
I am a primary care physician with a passion for weight loss and obesity medicine. I have been prescribing the weight loss drug, semaglutide, in my private practice. Semaglutide is a GLP-1 (Glucagon like peptide 1) receptor agonist that is the latest craze in the bariatric world of weight loss. It is a synthetic, long-acting form of a hormone that we make in our intestines in response to eating. Food will stretch the intestines and release glucagon like peptide 1 (GLP-1) that signals the brain that you are full and, if you listen to it, you are able to stop eating.
I decided since I met qualifications for the drug, that I would try it. To qualify for the drug, you must have a BMI of 30 or higher or a BMI of 27 or higher with at least one related weight condition or risk factors for a weight related condition. I wanted to know what it felt like. I have been told by patients that food noise goes away, that you are not hungry, that all cravings go away and that you must force yourself to eat. Well, I never took the second dose. I did not like the way it made me feel but you must hear why.
First, I am well into my own health and wellness journey, about 1 1/2 years to be exact. I have lost 50 lbs. already but my BMI is still greater than thirty which is in the obese range. Even though I feel so good I really want to try to get my BMI to less than 30. I have about twenty-five pounds left to lose to reach that goal. The nutritional protocol I was already following was low calorie, but you would never know it. I was never hungry and ate like a champion.
BY DR. KELLY LISCIANDRO
My journey has been on SHAPE ReClaimed. It is a Wellness program with weight loss as a side effect. I have experienced on and off the scale what SHAPE ReClaimed claims to do. That is to reset hormonal, neurologic, and metabolic imbalance. Once you reach your goal weight on SHAPE, you reset your set point, so you really do not have to gain weight again if you stick to good healthy eating habits. The nutritional protocol is anti-inflammatory, detoxifying, and immune enhancing. I found that I could put my fork down, listen to my body, and feel full fast. It was easy to not overeat on the SHAPE drops. I learned how to eat like I should have been eating my whole life. I am the healthiest I have ever been at 57 years old. It took me 55 years to get there.
I have had more non scale wins on the program than I have scale wins. I have completely changed my eating habits. Notice that I say “habits.” I have changed my previous behavior revolving around food so now I have healthy eating habits. I will never go back to the old ways that I ate. If you repeat a change of behavior enough, it becomes a habit. Healthy lifestyle habits are what we should strive for with any program. It takes soul searching and blatant honesty with yourself to recognize the behavior as “bad” or “health threatening” or even “life threatening” if you want to be dramatic. But my diet was life threatening as it would have cut years off my life if I were to continue to eat food as I was. The American diet is the number one killer in America. Our diets lead to all leading chronic illnesses in the US. Our diet is making us sick.
I do not feel deprived, and I do not feel limited by what I can eat. I feel better than I have in years. I have healed from the inside out including my irritable bowel syndrome, migraine headaches, and constant body aches which I always thought was fibromyalgia. I have none of these issues anymore. By taking the SHAPE drops, eating anti-inflammatory, and detoxing my body, I have healed all the physical ailments I suffered from for years.
My new habits include listening to my body and its signal that I am full. Putting my fork down, wrapping up the rest of my plate, and putting it away until later. Choosing better options like Greek yogurt and frozen fruit instead of cakes, candies, cookies, chocolate, and ice cream. It is not even a choice anymore; it is a natural “go to” for my sweet tooth. I do not eat to just eat or to stuff feelings or to do mindless activity. We have all done that at one time or another. The empty sleeve of Oreos or Saltines or Pringles. I became mindful of everything I put in my mouth. The staples in my fridge and pantry have become whole foods, lean protein, and vegetables. I very seldom eat anything processed. I feel so much better. I look better. And, I have purged all my big clothes. That is a great feeling.
My experience with compounded semaglutide was disappointing but in a clever way. It is most certainly not the right drug for me where I am on my journey.
Day #1 day of injection, no side effects, really did not experience any effects at all.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Semaglutide is a GLP-1 (Glucagon like peptide 1) receptor agonist that is the latest craze in the bariatric world of weight loss.”
Day #2 abdominal discomfort started after I had two cups of black coffee. I have been drinking black coffee for years since I intermittent fast most days. I cannot start my day without coffee, but I regretted coffee that day. I had to see patients with discomfort and some mild nausea. A patient recommended that I try iced coffee, for some reason iced coffee was easier to tolerate. I planned the next day to switch to iced coffee. That would be a game changer for me if I were unable to drink caffeine.
Day #3 Iced coffee did not bother me but everything I ate made me feel uncomfortably full. I had already changed my diet so much that I was unable to eat or like I had been to facilitate a 50 LB weight loss. I was avoiding salads and vegetables because of my reaction to high fiber foods. But I did feel like I had to eat and drink out of fear of side effects if I did not do so like dehydration, severe constipation, and kidney dysfunction. I have seen all these side effects in my clinical practice. But eating became unenjoyable for me on day three. I ate to eat and did feel some hunger despite my discomfort.
Day #4 I had one cup of black coffee and no more. That kept me tired and yawning all day. I ate some roughage at lunch and developed left side pain, actual pain where I was holding my side during patient visits. If I cannot eat fiber and salad, then I’m going to have a really hard time with semaglutide. I was thinking, “what the hell am I going to eat?” A low residue diet? It is not a healthy way to eat. That diet consists of white bread, white rice, and pasta. All
the things that got me to my state of obesity. And all the foods that got me through my colonic surgery last year. I could not continue Semaglutide and eat like a little kid. I would have been sicker overall.
It was medically necessary for me to be on a low residue diet last year. What I discovered during that time was fish. Fish and seafood are low residue and high lean protein foods that we all should be eating. Unfortunately, you must learn how to cook it and afford it. I really did not know how to do either while I was out on medical disability. Once again, I felt like I had to limit my food choices which is something I had not felt I had to do on SHAPE or had adjusted so well to the nutritional protocol that I really did not feel I was missing anything. Now, suddenly, I felt like I had to limit what I could eat because of Semaglutide. I was not willing to give up my healthy eating habits and lifestyle. I have been very satisfied with the changes I have made.
In addition to having to change what I was eating, I felt like I was naturally decreasing my calories because I felt full all the time. We need nutrition to live. I could not afford to eat less calories than I already was.
Day #5 I had the day off to spend time with my boyfriend. I had a few bites of salad and tuna fish and was so uncomfortable. I could eat about onehalf of what I had been previously eating which was low calorie to begin wonehalf. He was concerned and we decided that it was not the right drug for me. I
could not eat. Semaglutide makes you not hungry. You have to force yourself to eat. It curbs your appetite and makes you feel full as soon as you eat. I did not want to feel discomfort. We went out that day for recreation and it took me a few hours to feel better.
I decided that day to not inject anymore Semaglutide. I had done so well on my journey with my dietary management and healed from my irritable bowel syndrome. I had not had any gastrointestinal issues for months eating with my boyfriend and making good choices.
I realized that Semaglutide is not a great alternative to SHAPE ReClaimed if you are all already eating healthily or even Weight Watchers for that matter. Weight Watchers has become affiliated with Semaglutide but if you are successful with Weight Watchers and losing weight, you do not need a drug. A program like SHAPE ReClaimed is a better option to reset metabolism and heal hormonal and neurologic imbalance to enhance or support your weight loss journey.
Semaglutide is not the answer. It most certainly was not for me. According to my personal experience with the drug, it is a drug that would be effective in managing and curing true food addiction along with nutritional counseling and behavior modification to form healthy nutritional habits.
RECIPE FOR SWEET SUCCESS
BY LORI BRUTON
Stressed spelled backward is desserts.
What’s the right recipe for you? It starts with the right ingredients. Measure out three cups of appreciation, two cups of determination, and one cup of love. Add compassion, kindness, and laughter. Season with vitality. Bake to desired consistency. Smell and taste the creation of success.
Find Your Sweet Spot
Does the business you’re doing bring you happiness and fulfillment? If yes, keep enjoying it and watching it grow. If not, consider other options. Every business requires work, but when it continues to be draining and difficult with no results, maybe it’s not the right one for you. For me, baking is my therapy, and the result is pure happiness.
The sweet aroma of cookies baking in the oven is a warm and inviting scent that fills the entire home. The fragrance is both nostalgic and comforting, evoking memories of fond moments with family. Even better is seeing the smiles on the faces of those savoring the taste of my homemade treats (and sharing helps me not eat too many myself). It’s a tangible way to say thank you, bring comfort and joy. As a child, I was brought up to show compassion and hospitality by bringing a meal and dessert to a new neighbor, someone who was sick, or had a death in the family, a couple who had a baby, and so on.
Customer Appreciation: The Key Ingredient
What do cookies have to do with business? It sets your business apart by appreciating your customers with homemade cookies baked with love and delivered with care along with a handwritten card. There you go, that is one way I have incorporated baking and writing into my business.
“Never underestimate the power of an encouraging word.”
~John C. Maxwell
Benefits of Customer Appreciation
• Increased Customer Loyalty: Showing appreciation to customers fosters a sense of loyalty. Customers who feel valued are more likely to remain loyal to your brand, leading to repeat business.
• Enhanced Customer Relationships: Personalized appreciation efforts strengthen the relationship between your business and its customers, leading to long-term partnerships and a deeper connection to your brand.
• Positive Word of Mouth: Satisfied customers are more likely to share their positive experiences, attracting new customers and enhancing your brand’s reputation.
• Increased Sales: Appreciated customers are more inclined to make additional purchases and try new products or services.
• Customer Retention: Retaining existing customers is more cost-effective than acquiring new ones. Appreciation efforts significantly improve customer retention rates.
• Competitive Advantage: Exceptional customer service can be a key differentiator in a competitive market. Appreciated customers are less likely to switch to competitors.
Following My Passion
After a career in corporate America, I transitioned to freelance, foodie, and travel writing and now am thrilled to launch my new passion project—baking irresistibly delicious cookies.
I still enjoy travel writing, reading, walking barefoot on the beach, kayaking, essential oils (which I use to bake), and authoring books, especially children’s books. Baking is another love that has always been a part of my life. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and productivity.
Helping my mom in the kitchen is where I learned the art of baking. I’ve been creating everything from scratch ever since. Baking not only brings me joy and stress relief, but it also fills me with immense happiness to see others enjoy my labor of love. For years, friends and family have told me I make delicious cookies and that I should sell them. I am finally following that passion.
My writing and baking both aim to attract, motivate, and inspire. Whether you’re a small business or an entrepreneur, my customized, professional, and friendly, heartfelt content and creations can resonate with your target audience and attract new leads for you to pursue.
What’s Your Missing Ingredient?
“What’s the right recipe for you? It starts with the right ingredients. Measure out three cups of appreciation, two cups of determination, and one cup of love.”
Is there a missing ingredient that needs filling in your life or business? We all need support to help make our mission complete and enhance the experience of our customers and clients. No one is meant to do everything on their own. What is that missing ingredient for you? Maybe you need virtual assistant services.
Invest in a Virtual Assistant
Where do you need assistance to lighten your load so you can focus on what you do best? Cultivate and grow your business with virtual assistant services available to you that can increase your profits, manage setbacks, and help carry the load. Here are the key benefits:
• Increased Efficiency: A virtual assistant (VA) can handle routine tasks, allowing you to focus on more strategic and revenue-generating activities.
• Cost-Effective: Hiring a VA is often
more cost-effective than employing a full-time, in-house assistant. You save on overhead costs such as office space, equipment, and benefits.
• Access to Specialized Skills: VAs often possess a wide range of skills, from administrative support to digital marketing, graphic design, and customer service.
• Improved Work-Life Balance: Delegating tasks to a VA can free up your time, reducing stress and preventing burnout.
• Enhanced Productivity: A VA can help you stay organized and on track by managing your schedule, reminders, and deadlines.
• Flexibility and Scalability: VAs offer flexible working arrangements, adapting to your preferred hours and time zones.
• Focus on Core Competencies: By outsourcing non-core tasks to a VA, you can concentrate on what you do best, driving innovation and growth.
Ask Me How
Perhaps you want to order some cookies to say thank you to your customers. Maybe you need writing services such as someone to write thank you cards, create content and presentations, write speeches or press releases, or hire a speaker. Other needs we can fulfill include managing your calendar, email, social media, travel bookings, and more.
If you’re looking for a team that is up to date on tools, resources, and knows how to treat people right, look no further. Let’s make life a little sweeter together.
Was this helpful? What are your needs? Reach out, text 585-371-8328 or email: hello@loribruton.com
{ THE MENOPAUSE MINUTE }
BUILDING BETTER HABITS
How to Stick to Your New Wellness Plan
Ah, my Midlife friends, how often have we looked at the beginning of a new week with the very best intentions, only to find our plans for wellness (eating clean, working out, beginning that new meditation practice) lying still unfulfilled by weeks end? But let ‘s not speak of faltered attempts and sidestepped routines as failures. Instead, let’s gather here and talk about how to build better habits that stand the test of time and transition with us through midlife and beyond.
If you’re standing at the precipice of change, wanting to embrace a new wellness plan but feeling a tad overwhelmed at the thought, you’re not alone. The path to building better habits is as much about the journey as it is the destination—filled with learning, growing, and sometimes stumbling, but always moving forward.
Let me share a little story with you. A few years ago, I found myself at a crossroads. My body was sending me all sorts of signals, saying, “Hey, it’s time to pay attention!” Sleep had become a game of chance, and energy dips were more common than I’d like to admit. It was clear I needed to make a change—but where to start?
Step 1: Start with Understanding
First and foremost, let us acknowledge the metamorphosis our bodies are undergoing. Menopause isn’t just a phase; it’s a new landscape for us to explore. This journey comes with its own set of challenges, from hot flashes to mood swings, but each of us holds the strength to navigate through these changes. Embracing wellness now is not just proactive; it’s a form of self-love & self-healing.
Step
2: Start Small and Be Kind to Yourself
Small Steps lead to Big Changes. The first and perhaps most important lesson was to start small. Change doesn’t have to be grand or overwhelming; it can start with a single, small step. So I urge you to start by beginning small. Rome was not built in a day, and neither is a habit. Choose one well-intentioned change at a time. For me, it was a commitment to
BY SHERYL VEGA
walk every day, and increase my daily steps. It didn’t matter if it was a few miles on the treadmill or a longer jog along the canal path near my home—the goal was to move.
Perhaps this week you will drink one extra glass of water each day, or maybe you’ll take a short walk after dinner. Tiny victories, when strung together, create a series of successes to lead you to that transformative change that you seek.
Step 3: Write It Down
My Midlife friend, put pen to paper—yes, the old-fashioned way. There’s something about seeing words materialize that etches them into our daily script. Jot down what you hope to accomplish and be specific. (SMART Goals) Instead of ‘exercise more,’ how about ‘a dance class on Tuesdays’? You can’t determine the direction without having a destination. So set your goals and take the daily aligned actions towards them.
Step 4: Forgive and Forge Ahead
If you stumble, show yourself the kindness you’d offer a dear friend. There is no room for self-rebuke on this journey. Some days, I didn’t make it outside, and that’s okay. The beauty of midlife and beyond is recognizing the power of self-compassion, understanding that it’s not about perfection but progress. Instead, be kind to yourself and gently guide yourself back to the path. Each day is a new beginning.
Step 5: Adjust as You Go
Flexibility, my dear, is a cornerstone of resilience. As we age, our needs will shift, and so should our wellness plans. If something isn’t fitting quite right, don’t be afraid to tailor it. This plan is not set in stone; it’s as dynamic as the women it serves.
Step 6: Celebrate Every Win
In our goal-driven society, it’s easy to overlook small victories in pursuit of the grand prize. But here’s a thought: every step forward, no matter how small, is a win worth celebrating. Made it out for a walk three times this week? Fantastic! Choose a salad over fries during
lunch? Bravo!
Celebrating these wins not only bolsters your confidence but reinforces the positive changes you’re making. Trust me, there’s magic in acknowledging the effort it takes to build new habits. Celebrate Every Triumph! Progress, no matter the size, deserves recognition. These are the building blocks of unwavering habits.
Step 7: Find Your Tribe
We’re social creatures by nature, and there’s immense power in finding a community that supports and uplifts you. When I started my wellness journey, I was astounded by the strength found in shared experiences. Join a walking group or exercise class, rally a few friends to join you in your new habits or find an online community of like-minded women going through similar life stages like in my Midlife Menopause Makeover group.
It’s not just about accountability; it’s about connection. Hearing, “I’ve been there too,” or “Let’s try this together,” can be the fuel that keeps the fire of motivation burning bright.
Step 8: Embrace the Journey
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, embrace this journey with open arms and an open heart. There will be days when the old habits sneak back in, and that’s perfectly fine. It’s not about never falling but learning to get back up with grace and a smile.
The transformation into this vibrant, healthconscious woman doesn’t happen overnight; it blooms like a flower, petal by petal. Be patient with yourself, and remember, it’s the journey that shapes us, not just the destination.
So, to my fellow midlife mavens navigating the ebbs and flows of menopause and the myriad changes it brings, know this: you are not alone. We’re in this beautiful, sometimes messy, always rewarding journey together. And as we step forward, each at our own pace, let’s cherish the moments, laugh at the challenges, and build those better habits with courage and grace. Because, ladies, we’ve got this!
