SEPT/OCT 2023
6720 PITTSFORD PALMYRA ROAD • FAIRPORT, NY 14450
Signatu r e Clu b
SPACE AVAILABLE Call 585.672.5000 to learn more.
PLAZA HIGHLIGHTS Visitors to this family friendly shopping center can shop or dine at businesses with national recognition as well as stores and services of regional and local prominence.
Size: 194,000 sf Vehicles (VPD): 25,654 Zoning: Commercial/Office/Retail
Established in 1910 as a general contractor, DiMarco Group has evolved over the years into a full service development company applying cutting-edge design and building concepts to meet 21st century real estate needs. After 100 years, our commitment to excellence is stronger than ever. Our visionary approach includes deployment of first-rate people, practices & technologies in partnership with our clients, who benefit from the strength and experience of the DiMarco Group family of companies.
OCTOBER EDITION 6
{ TABLE OF CONTENTS }
REGULARS REGULARS 182
I’M NOT THAT GIRL ANYMORE
166
QUEEN OF ARTS Monique Hunter
194
LET’S TALK
146
IN HER OWN WORDS Valerie & Jessica
242
HER EDGE
128
KIM IS MANIFESTING
156
WOMAN WHO INSPIRES Cindy Larson
208
BLACK WOMEN VOICES
140
ONE TOUGH MOTHER
254
LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT Professional Notary Services
274
THE LORI FACTOR
HEALTH & WELLNESS
212
WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? DJ Mike Dimijian
236
WOMAN ON THE RISE ZONTA of Rochester
220
WARRIOR WOMEN
204
INTRODUCING Christina A. Lee
268
MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE
232
ANIMAL CARE CORNER
246
FASHION FORWARD Bella Vita Boutique
264
COACHING WITH KAREN
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE : NOVEMBER/DECEMBER EDITION 2022
132
LONEGVITY
224
SENIOR CARE AUTHORITY
286
LIFE IN BALANCE
278
MENTALLY THINKING
180
MENOPAUSE MINUTE
282
PASSION MENTOR
{ TABLE OF CONTENTS }
178
20 COVER STORY BOSSY ROC’S Kelly Metras & Kelly Bush
54 THE INFLUENTIAL MAN Derrick Lucas
90
83 UPSTATE & CNY SPECIAL SECTION Women Entrepreneurs
66 THE INFLUENITAL WOMAN MaryJo Colligan
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 7
{ FROM THE PUBLISHER }
Dear Readers,
We are thrilled to welcome you to the latest and greatest edition of Rochester Woman Online magazine for October 2023! With each passing month, our commitment to celebrating inspiring, empowering, and influential women (and a few incredible men) in our community only grows stronger. This month, we have something truly special in store for you. Our BOSSY double trouble cover women, Kelly Metras and Kelly Bush, exemplify the power, resilience, and grace that define the women we feature. Their stories are a testament to the incredible journeys we share with you, showcasing the remarkable individuals who make our region exceptional. But that’s just the beginning! Our October issue spans over 300 pages, packed with captivating articles, interviews, and features that will leave you inspired and motivated. Whether you’re seeking personal growth, professional insights, or simply some well-deserved leisure reading, we’ve got it all. This month, we’ve also dedicated a special section to the Central & Upstate NY Women Entrepreneurs. Our cover star, Kim Fisher, embodies the spirit of entrepreneurship, and her story is bound to leave you in awe. She’s just one of the many incredible women in our community who have been making waves, and we are thrilled to showcase their accomplishments. We invite you to join us on this journey of empowerment, inspiration, and community. If you know someone who would be a perfect fit for our magazine, whether as a feature or cover, don’t hesitate to reach out. Together, we’ll continue to shine a light on the extraordinary women (and men) who make our region a better place. Thank you for your continued support, and we hope you enjoy this issue as much as we do. With gratitude and inspiration,
Kelly Breuer
Publisher, Rochester Woman Online Magazine
T T ON OUR COVER We have the BOSSY duo of Kelly Metras and Kelly Bush photographed by Susan Elizabeth Portraits for our latest October 2023 cover shoot.
10
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }
PUBLISHER FREELANCE EDITORS CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER PHOTOGRAPHY
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
\\ ADVERTISING SALES
Kelly Breuer Marisa Zeppieri Kelly Breuer Sarah Elizabeth Portraits Robyn Baty Andrea Westerlund Porcia Jones NSP Pohotgraphy
Sarah Elizabeth Portraits
Lisa Ireland Nicole Doyley Dave Schantz Karen Messina Kristine Demo Vazquez Mary Jo Colligan Lisa Wagner Beth Parry Dr Tunya Griffin Cindy Larson Christine Piacentino Lori Bruton Karen Putz Bonnie Floyd Sandy Arena Kelly Bush Valerie Dimino Kelly Metras Stephanie Skinner Kaitlyn Vitozzi Nicole Doyle
Laura Ponticello Kim Fisher Monique Hunter Sheryl Vega Christina A. Lee
Kelly Breuer
SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR
Network Rochester
WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT
Network Rochester
Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the Greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www.rochesterwomanonline.com. The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2022 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.
COVER STORY } } { {SHIFT+CONTROL
KELLY YOU + KELLY ARE ENOUGH. = BOSSY ROC BY NICOLE WILLIAMS I PHOTOS NSP STUDIO PHOTOS BY HEROUX NSP PHOTOGRAPHY & SUSANBY ELIZABETH PORTRAITS
In the ever-evolving landscape of online magazines, one platform has emerged as a beacon of empowerment for women in Rochester and beyond, Rochester Woman Online. The latest cover stars, Kelly Metras and Kelly Bush, the dynamic duo behind BOSSY ROC, have carved out a space that celebrates not just the achievements of women but also their personal growth and relationships. BOSSY ROC is not just a cute name; it’s a vibrant community, a support system, and a hub for female entrepreneurs to connect, learn, and flourish. BOSSY ROC, is more than a catchy name; it’s a mission statement. The brainchild of Metras and Bush, this platform is a haven for women who are juggling the responsibilities of business and life, often like a modern-day Batman and Robin. Through a range of offerings, including podcasts, social media engagement, marketing insights, and a roster of exciting monthly events, BOSSY ROC provides a nurturing environment where women can engage in candid and robust conversations about their experiences, challenges, and aspirations. In this unique space, women find not only the tools they need to succeed in their business ventures but also the connections and support required to grow personally and feel genuinely valued in their communities and relationships. Kelly Metras and Kelly Bush are on a mission to foster an environment where women can truly spread their wings and soar to new heights.
20
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
What is BOSSY ROC, and how would you describe its mission? BOSSY is a support group for women business owners. We value real, honest, and raw conversations and relationships to allow each other to grow and feel valued. Can you tell us about the inspiration behind creating this networking group for women business owners? BOSSY was born through necessity. We
30 people showed up, and at the end, there was a group feeling of “Omg, when can we do this again!” so we started meeting monthly and opened a private Facebook group. It grew to 600 women until we decided to streamline the group and added a $100 fee to join. We are growing monthly, starting with 120 after we implemented to charge, and gaining women every week. In 6 months, we have grown 30%! How did you and your co-founder, Kelly Bush, come up with the idea for BOSSY ROC? The name came from a few drinks and decided that we have all been called BOSSY throughout our lives, so why not own it?! We like to say that we are only BOSSY when someone isn’t getting their job done. And this is when men would be considered leaders.
found ourselves purchasing businesses with our husbands within the same year and would often get together to vent or ask questions. Upon leaving these meetings, we found that we felt more powerful and centered than going in. One day we decided that other women should feel this way as well, this feeling of support and being understood. We hosted a happy hour, inviting some women business owners that we knew and their friends. About
When was BOSSY ROC officially founded, and what motivated you to start it at that time? September of 2014 was our first meeting. We were motivated by the reaction from women. Every month we have new faces at the monthly meetups- sometimes it’s women who haven’t been able to schedule it before, sometimes it’s women who have been on the sidelines for a while before they come, and sometimes it’s brand-new people jumping in. The COVID-19 pandemic had a significant impact on businesses. How did BOSSY ROC adapt and stay relevant during this challenging period?
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 21
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
22
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 23
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
“BOSSY is a support
group for women business owners. We value REAL, HONEST, and RAW conversations and relationships to allow each other to grow and feel VALUED.
”
24
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL { COVER STORY } } “We dream of women across the country having access to BOSSY chapters. Affordable, supportive, and real opportunities to feel seen and heard.”
During the Pandemic, we opened up our regulations on membership, allowing women leaders in, which we pulled back on in 2021. Support was needed everywhere. BOSSY was a go-to for funding opportunities, lifting each other up, out-of-the-box ideas, staying up to date on mandates and regulations, and supporting staff. BOSSY adapted to meet the needs of as many people as possible. Your private Facebook group is a central part of BOSSY ROC. How has it contributed to the success of your networking community? Our private group is the primary mode of communication. We tried to fight the algorithm to keep the membership engaged and supported, but it didn’t work, which led to the feebased service idea. With only vested members, we can reach and see the needs of all of them. That is so important, because the page contains 9 years of the most important information. 9 years of questions asked, stories shared, support requested or given. The search bar turns the page into a small business owners database and that is invaluable. We also communicate at least monthly with all members by email to make sure they aren’t missing anything. We all need social media breaks! And I am always a little jealous of members without social media.
Could you share some examples of the types of social events you host within the BOSSY ROC community? We host a yearly conference for 3 days of deep diving into your business. We try to keep them outside of Rochester, but within an hour’s drive to accommodate people who cannot afford to stay overnight, and as small business owners
you elaborate on the topics covered in these workshops? Our workshops and seminars, including the ones we choose to host at the conference, are all organically decided based on the needs of members. We are actively involved in every BOSSY hour, every post, every question. We use these to decide what will benefit members most. They range from HR, Social Media, Finance and Funding to Managing Employees and Diversity & Inclusion in your space. How have these educational workshops benefited the members of BOSSY ROC? Our favorite workshops have been the Diversity & Inclusion panel, the Relentless Panel, and our HR Seminars.
we know how hard it can be to get away. Plus, if there is an emergency at work, you can get there fairly quickly. For many years, we hosted the BOSSY Holiday Sale, highlighting our membership. We do pop-ups trainings by members and a monthly co-work. Besides social events, BOSSY ROC offers educational workshops. Can
The D&I panel was a group of women covering various needs in the community who spoke in candor to business owners and their management teams about what D&I actually looks and feels like. This covered “safe spaces,” racism, sizeism, transgender acceptance, and access for all abilities. The Relentless Panel was a group of women who refused to stand down and fought for the needs of their businesses, allowing them success and growth. The HR seminars usually make people sweat and cry a little, but we need to know what the laws are so that we can follow them and not have to worry! ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 25
COVER STORY }} { { SHIFT+CONTROL { LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Our workshops and seminars, including the ones we choose to host at the conference, are all organically decided based on the needs of members.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
What are some success stories or notable achievements that have resulted from being part of BOSSY ROC? We have often been told directly that some businesses wouldn’t be where they are today without BOSSY. But we know that ultimately, any group you belong to or the membership that you pay for is only worth what you put into it. BOSSY becomes a networking group in a completely organic and supportive manner. We are all doing amazing things, so once we are in a group together, we only want to see each other grow!
our membership, our panelists, and our workshop leads cover women from all ethnicities and backgrounds. We know that when you look at a presentation panel, you want to see someone who looks like you on it. It is a natural desire, so it is a focus for us. What advice would you give to
26
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
Are there any specific industries or sectors that BOSSY ROC focuses on, or is it open to women business owners from all fields? We have women doing everything in BOSSY! There are no restrictions aside from owning the business. In your opinion, what sets BOSSY ROC apart from other networking groups for women entrepreneurs? R e a l , Ho n e s t , R a w conversations. Again, we are not a networking group but a support group, and that in itself sets us apart.
Can you share any future plans or initiatives that BOSSY ROC has in the pipeline? We dream of women across the country having access to BOSSY chapters. Affordable, supportive, and real opportunities to feel seen and heard. How does BOSSY ROC promote diversity and inclusion within its community? BOSSY is inclusive in a natural manner. We want to make sure ALL women are included. We have members who go the extra mile and offer scholarships to anyone looking to join and cannot afford it- and some of those are specifically targeted to minority women. We make sure that
heart. Make sure to check in on those often to make sure you are staying aligned. Your group or business will not be for everyone so keep your focus on the mission to help those that align.
women entrepreneurs who are looking to join or create similar networking groups? BOSSY is not a networking group. We are a support group that networks because we love what each other is doing. Whatever group or business that someone wants to start should hold the person’s values and mission at
How can interested individuals get involved with BOSSY ROC or become members? All information about BOSSY and joining BOSSY, including our podcast episodes, can be found at bossyroc.com. If you are interested but not sure, reach out to bossyroc@ gmail.com and we will invite you to our next BOSSY Hour to feel it out. Has BOSSY ROC expanded beyond its original location, or are there plans for future expansion?
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JULY/AUGUST EDITION 2023 2023 27 27
{ COVER STORY }
“BOSSY was a go-to for funding opportunities, lifting each other up, outof-the-box ideas, staying up to date on mandates and regulations, and supporting staff. ”
28
We are looking at Buffalo right nowbut we are willing to expand anywhere that there is a need and a desire from someone local to guide the group.
women business owners across the country, with chapters in every city. We want every woman business owner to feel supported and welcome.
What is your vision for the future of BOSSY ROC, both in terms of its growth and impact on the business community? The vision for BOSSY is to support
BOSSY also has a co-ed group called BOSSing that began this year from an organic interest from men after listening to our podcast and seeing what BOSSY is and does. We host
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
bi-monthly meetings right now, with a plan to expand to monthly meetings in 2024. Those interested can email us at bossyroc@gmail.com to find out more!
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 29
MEET
KELLY BUSH Introducing Kelly Bush, a dynamic entrepreneur making waves in Rochester’s restaurant and bar scene. As the owner of Union Tavern and Marshall Street, Kelly has brought a fresh and vibrant energy to the local dining experience, infusing her establishments with creativity and a deep commitment to community engagement. But her entrepreneurial spirit doesn’t stop there – she’s also the co-founder of BOSSY ROC, an amazing platform created just for women entrepreneurs.
32
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
COVER STORY } } { {SHIFT+CONTROL
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“We’ve meticulously curated a menu of beers, wines, and cocktails, and I’m particularly proud of our Free-Spirited Cocktail selection.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
How long have you owned the Union Tavern, and what inspired you to become its owner? My husband and I purchased the property in March of 2019, followed by several months of renovations. We opened in July of that year. The Reunion Inn held cherished memories for me, and the building’s historical significance was a compelling factor in our decision. We live in the neighborhood and felt like we could add something unique to the area. Having already established another business in 2010 – a downtown bar and grill – we aspired to open a second location, one that offered a slightly more formal setting yet retained the same cozy atmosphere. Personally, growing up in Webster, I heard tales of the building being haunted, and that was a HUGE draw for me. Can you describe the atmosphere and ambiance that patrons can expect when visiting the Union Tavern? The Union Tavern embodies inclusivity, offering a warm welcome to all. It is a place where everyone is welcome, the food is comforting and the drinks are delicious. A place where good friends gather and new friendships are formed. In this unique setting, devoid of televisions, we foster an environment that encourages meaningful conversations between our staff and patrons. Could you share some of the unique specialties and dishes that make the Union Tavern stand out? Our Fabulous Fish Fry undeniably takes the spotlight as our most sought-after
dish. Prepared with a crispy beer batter, it’s a favorite among our customers. Another crowd-pleaser is our Chicken Cavvies, our spin on Chicken Riggies. During the summer months, we offer a fresh Lobster Roll, which happens to be my personal favorite. But our commitment to a diverse dining experience doesn’t stop there. We’ve meticulously curated a menu of beers, wines, and cocktails, and I’m particularly proud of our Free-Spirited Cocktail selection. We celebrate sobriety
and cater to non-drinkers, dedicating substantial effort to crafting thoughtful, alcohol-free beverages. Our repertoire includes an array of non-alcoholic spirits, complemented by fresh juices and our own handmade syrups and shrubs. Each drink has its own distinct identity; we prefer not to use the term “mocktail.” These concoctions are no laughing matter – they stand out and delight even the most spirited of drinkers.
As a female owner of a local tavern, what challenges and opportunities have you encountered in the industry? Traditionally, the restaurant industry has often been led by women in management roles while being predominantly owned by men. There have been instances where people have delayed meetings until my husband was present. I have noticed people treat he and I differently, but that is happening less and less as time goes by, and our distinct roles are recognized and respected. What motivated you to change the name from “The Reunion” to “Union Tavern” in the Seabreeze neighborhood? We were going to be making some changes and believed that it was appropriate to rebrand. The gentlemen that owned the Reunion Inn had it for 48 years! That is a remarkable feat and we felt the name deserved to retire with them. We wanted to honor what they had created, and those before them, so we decided to keep it similar. We chose a name that sounded familiar yet carried a distinct feel in its pronunciation. We also wanted to convey our goal for the Union Tavern to be a place to celebrate community and gathering together. Could you provide some insights into the history and heritage of the building that houses the Union Tavern? It’s my favorite thing to do! The property was first owned by a Great Lakes Pirate and included most of the current Sea Breeze neighborhood. His name was ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 33
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
34
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 35
36
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ COVER STORY }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“The business of running a business is hard and often underestimated. Find businesses that align with your values and align yourself with them.”
Sylvester Woodman. He and his wife Abigail bought the property around 1819 and lived there for many years. In 1854, the wooden farmhouse was torn down and over the next 2 years, the brick building that stands today was constructed. The foundation remained. Previous owners of the property were an Irondequoit Town Supervisor, an owner of the Irondequoit Park Railroad and a professional boxer. We know the entire history from Day 1. We celebrate and respect the history of the building and we love sharing it with guests. The tagline, “Come for the food, stay for the spirits,” is catchy. How did you come up with this slogan, and what does it represent to you? Thank you. On the surface, it serves as an invitation for patrons to join us for a meal and then linger and enjoy our Spirited and Free Spirited Cocktails. It’s also a celebration of the residents who still remain with us. The Union Tavern has been a location on the Haunted History Trail for many years and there are tales of unexplained occurrences dating back to the early 1900s. We have had many paranormal groups investigate the property and hold public ghost hunts every other month. It’s a place with a vibrant energy, and we take pride in embracing that part of its identity! What types of events or activities do you host at the Union Tavern to engage with the local community? We have our late night paranormal investigations, tarot card and psychic readings, monthly beer, wine and spirit tastings, history hours, book readings, art shows, paint classes, murder mystery
dinners and themed dinners. We are also a satellite location for the Rochester Brainery. What is your background? Have you always been in the restaurant industry? I held a job serving tables for 4 weeks when I was 14 and said I’d never work in a restaurant again! My husband has been in the industry his entire adult life, but I never thought I would get involved. My background is in behavioral health. Prior to opening Marshall Street Bar & Grill, I was a Behavioral Specialist at Hillside Children’s Center and thought I would do that forever. A few years in to Marshall Street, I decided to leave Hillside and join him full time. While my husband thrived behind the bar, I found my joy behind the scenes. I really enjoyed the business side of the industry. We were members of the NYS Restaurant Association and I quickly became involved with the local chapter and eventually joined the board. I have become an advocate for our industry, lobbying in Albany with NYSRA and my seat on the state board. Are there any signature cocktails or drinks that patrons must try when visiting your establishment? The Princess Peach and Espresso Martini from the Spirited menu and the Berry Burlesque from the Free Spirited one. In terms of the menu, do you offer any dishes that are inspired by the local Rochester cuisine or culture? Chicken Riggies is a Utica dish. The Fish Fry isn’t a local dish, but it sure is a big deal to people here!
Can you share some success stories or memorable moments since you opened? We love the stories. People come in with stories all the time. Stories of family dinners, Christmas Eve pictures in front of the Christmas tree, high school reunions, first dates. Last month we hosted a surprise 50th wedding anniversary for a couple that met at the Reunion. In early 2020, we were asked to host a summer wedding reception for a couple whose first date was at the Union. They called March 15th and asked if Don, who is ordained, could marry them in the restaurant the following Sunday before things started shutting down. We had a small ceremony and took a bunch of pictures, wearing gloves and practicing social distancing. The story got picked up locally and was shared all over the country. We were able to host their reception the summer of 2021. How does Union Tavern contribute to the vibrancy of the Seabreeze neighborhood and the greater Rochester community? We are so close with the neighboring businesses and often make plans together. We want people to come to Sea Breeze for dinner and stay all night, there is so much to do. We offer something different than the other establishments and it works for all of us. Tell us about someone who inspires you and why? Kelly Metras, my partner in BOSSY – a support group we created in 2014 for women business owners. She’s a true multitasker, and I’m amazed at how she manages everything. Not only is she an incredible mother to four incredible
{ COVER STORY }
“Kelly Metras, my co-partner at BOSSY ROC .Her determination, ambition, and willingness to be open and vulnerable inspire me.” daughters, but she also co-manages Salena’s Mexican Restaurant alongside her husband. Her determination, ambition, and willingness to be open and vulnerable inspire me. .Are there any plans for future expansions or developments at Union Tavern that you can tell us about? We opened months before the pandemic began. We had many plans for projects that have had to be reprioritized. We are focused on growing organically, making changes along the way as needed. What advice would you give to aspiring female entrepreneurs looking to venture 38
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
into the hospitality industry? Never hesitate to ask for help. Most businesses want others to be successful. The business of running a business is hard and often underestimated. Find businesses that align with your values and align yourself with them. What has been the most difficult aspect of owning your own business, especially in the hospitality industry? The pandemic has completely changed this industry. The cost of doing business has doubled, if not tripled and it is difficult to find the right formula to be profitable.
The service industry in general is difficult. Not everyone is going to like what you do and that’s ok, there is no way for one place to meet everyone’s need. However, people can be very vocal when they disagree and it can be hurtful at times. Have there been struggles being a female owned business that you feel men wouldn’t experience in the same position? Yes, my husband and I sometimes treated differently still. It’s frustrating, but we supporting each other in those situations.
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 39
P H O TO B Y G R E G H O L L A R
MEET
KELLY METRAS “My husband and I purchased Salena’s in 2011 after working there for 12 years each. We never thought that this would be our path, but when the opportunity presented itself, we couldn’t imagine it going to a stranger. Not the best reason to buy a business.”
44
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
COVER STORY } } { {SHIFT+CONTROL
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“I always had multiple jobs and loved the chaos of the service industry.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Can you share a bit about your background and what initially sparked your interest in the restaurant industry? I started as the worst waitress in Rochester at 17 years old. At 21 I took a cocktail waitressing job for extra cash and moved to bartending. At this point, I joined Salena’s as a host/bus, then a bartender, then a waitress. I always had multiple jobs and loved the chaos of the service industry. What led to your becoming the owner of Salena’s Mexican restaurant and NOX lounge? Were there any significant moments or inspirations behind these ventures? My husband and I purchased Salena’s in 2011 after working there for 12 years each. We never thought that this would be our path, but when the opportunity presented itself, we couldn’t imagine it going to a stranger. Not the best reason to buy a business. But we had worked every job there and figured we would go for it. We learned quickly that ownership was much different than anticipated, but persevered. In 2013 we had the opportunity to create something that was our own, so we made the place we wished existed, Nox- the place we would want to hang out in. Salena’s was our home, and Nox was our baby. Closing Nox in 2022 was difficult, but it had run its course, which is a difficult thing to understand. We opened RYCE, the Rochester Youth Culinary Experience in 2017 after working with local high school students
for 2 years. RYCE was our passion and was a culmination of everything we had done up to that point, and everything we wished we could do. RYCE closed in 2017 after only a few months of opening, and we still struggle with it regularly. We opened RYCE at the wrong time and with little support. We did not do it correctly. But it was a good project for the community.
Tell us about your role with BOSSY ROC. How did you get involved with this organization, and what’s the mission behind it? BOSSY was founded in 2014 by Kelly Bush and myself after years of getting together to support each other in business ownership. And for us, in business with our husbands, we were often overlooked and undervalued by those in the room. BOSSY is a support group for women business owners that allows space for real, honest, and raw conversations. Could you describe your specialty or
unique approach at your restaurants that sets them apart from others in the industry? We are not restauranteurs. We just have a passion for people, and restaurants are people-forward. We focus on the experience as a whole and value our guests, our staff, and the community around us. Salena’s values are service, integrity, and kindness, and we ask each of the people in our space to covet that. We use our advertising dollars to support grassroots organizations and have made amazing connections through many of these endeavors. Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking. That is the basis of great service. The COVID-19 pandemic posed immense challenges to the restaurant industry. How did you navigate these challenges and ensure the survival of your establishments? We are still navigating the challenges brought forth by the pandemic. The costs of doing business in the restaurant industry are astronomical, and as many of us have been forced to make changes, including price increases, they are not enough to be “back to normal.” We focused heavily on the needs of our team throughout the pandemic, and supporting those needs as much as possible. We have been fortunate to maintain an amazing team and hope that 2024 is stabilizing for the industry. Being a woman in a field often dominated by men, have you encountered any unique challenges or opportunities in your journey as an entrepreneur? ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 45
COVER STORY } } { {SHIFT+CONTROL
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“We are not restauranteurs. We just have a passion for people, and restaurants are peopleforward.”
More than I can count. I think that my experience in the service industry prior to ownership helped me navigate maledriven conversations, but it bothers me that I have to act a certain way or say things carefully. When I do not, I am seen as bossy or the other “b” word that I cannot say in print. But this is usually when someone else is not doing their job or holding up to expectations. Bank loans are non-existent because of the industry, and I have managed to selffund everything we have done through access to debt, again, not a great way to do business, but I have gotten through many trials and tribulations using my access to debt. Make sure you have good credit! On a personal note, it is interesting how many people ask my husband about the business and me about the kids. We joke that they have it backward. It has gotten better through the years, and to be honest, it is easier to talk about kids than business to people who don’t own a business. What advice do you have for other women aspiring to enter the restaurant and nightlife business, especially in light of the industry’s dynamics? We are only as strong as our team. No one can exist in a bubble and be successful in life AND business. If you are passionate about people, the industry is great. If you are only passionate about food, you will need some great customer service people on your team! People take up about 80% of my job. Sustainability and eco-conscious practices are becoming increasingly 46
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
important. How do you incorporate these values into your businesses? We are constantly working on ways to improve. As someone who has been earth-conscious their whole life, the industry is horrible. Many of the issues are costs- as I have tried to implement many eco-friendly choices, the cost of doing so is higher than average, and during the pandemic, we had to pull back many of the things we had implemented over the years. We are hoping to re-focus these in 2024. Can you share any memorable experiences or success stories from your time as a restaurateur that have had a significant impact on you? In 2014 the restaurant was destroyed by a fire in the building- the fire didn’t touch us but the water main exploded over the restaurant. Twice. We put a call out on Facebook for help, and the community showed up in ways that we never saw coming. We managed, with the help of the community- some of whom we didn’t know- to gut and rebuild Salena’s in 21 days. I will never forget the love and support that was felt for those 21 days. How do you stay creative and innovative in an industry that’s constantly evolving, especially with changing customer preferences? It’s exciting! I love creating and I love trying new things. We got in the habit in 2020 of going through everything we do with the question “Why?” In this industry especially, you cannot
be boring or forgettable. And with the influx of Mexican Restaurants opening in Rochester in the past decade, we have been able to source better products than ever before. Every single time I eat at a restaurant, I see ways to improve what we do. Regardless of the cuisine. We are all selling an experience and we all want people to love what we are. Community engagement is crucial for many businesses. What initiatives have you undertaken to connect with the local community? We partner with grassroots organizations as often as possible. Some of our favorites are Saving AJ, Save Rochester, Community Collaborate Resources & Imprintable Solutions. At Salena’s, we choose to advertise based on our values and make sure that the advertising dollars that are being spent are helping to lift the community around us. It is our responsibility as business owners to make sure that the community we are in is thriving. Are there any upcoming projects or expansions you’d like to share with our readers? We recently started our Taqueria programa quick-service version of Salena’s. We opened our first location in 2022 in Greece and just closed it. We are now restructuring and hoping to open another one in 2024 What has been the most rewarding aspect of your journey as a woman entrepreneur in Rochester?
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 47
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
48
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 49
50
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
COVER STORY }} } { { {SHIFT+CONTROL
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“We are only as strong as our team. No one can exist in a bubble and be successful in life AND business.”
BOSSY is the most rewarding part of my journey. Being able to support women business owners along my way is invigorating. They are all doing amazing things around us and it is my honor to support them and share their stories through our podcast, Getting Real with BOSSY. You can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts, or at bossyroc. com/podcasts. Beyond your professional life, do you have any personal hobbies or interests that you’re passionate about? I love taking hikes and trying local ice cream shops. I wish I had time to do both more often! We recently purchased a camper so that we can get outside and see the stars more often. As a business owner, work-life balance can be challenging. How do you manage your time effectively and maintain a healthy balance? The only way to “do-it-all” is to have an amazing team with you. My business partner is my spouse, which is definitely not for everyone, but we have managed to grow ways to enable effective communication so that we don’t get lost in either world- business or family. As a family-owned business, those 2 things are interchangeable and inseperable at times, so communication is imperative. My extended family is ridiculously amazing at helping navigate the needs of 4 kids when we are not available. The girls are fortunate to have so much
support so that they can enjoy the activities that interest them. My team at work are individuals that I would have probably not known if it weren’t for work, and I truly love them. I know that each new hire shifts the restaurant and I love having new perspectives and fresh eyes on things. Even the “bad” hires bring us closer once it is resolved! And seeing the growth as
the students to see the importance of creating that space to allow themselves the room to succeed. What’s your vision for the future of Salena’s Mexican restaurant, NOX lounge, and your involvement with BOSSY ROC? Salena’s will continue to serve Rochester Mexican inspired dishes at affordable prices by amazing people. After 25 years, we have no idea what will be next for Salena’s but we hope that we can grow the Taqueria’s and reach more people. The vision for the Taqueria is to allow more of our staff opportunities to grow and hope that one day they can experience their own business ownership. Nox closed in October of 2022 and is now a bookstore, which makes our hearts happy. BOSSY continues to grow and evolve, and we hope to support women business owners in other cities. Everyone should have a space to feel supported.
people are promoted to new positions, and allowed the space to learn new roles and bring their own spin to them is invigorating.
As for me, I will continue to serve the public with integrity and kindness and follow the path- wherever that leads.
I like to joke that work-life balance is failing a little bit at everything you do, but really, it is about the village that you create for yourself. Our motto at RYCE was “It Takes a Village” because we knew how true that statement was. We wanted ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 51
a
Tacos & Tequila: A fresh look at team building for modern employees
TACOS & TEQUILA TEAM BUILDING: A fresh concept for the modern employer Pricing from $49 per person* *includes taco bar and tequila
Catering of 1
Mo
Tequila Tas
mexican@
HO UR
g for parties 10-2000!
onthly
sting & Classes
@salenas.com
HAPP
Y
Taco Tuesday: Tecate With Espolon Silver shot $4 $10 Taco Slider 6 pack / $6 Slider 4 pack Bo-Go House Margaritas, $4 drafts Wednesdays : College Night Show your school ID for 15% off B0-go specialty drinks Bo-Go Draft Beer THursday : NOTA Night Show your ID for 15% off $3 shots of Espolon or Milagro Silver $6 house margaritas Bo-Go Wine & Sangria Friday & Saturday: Weekend warrior $4 house margaritas $2 dos equis drafts EVERYDAY: Queso $2, Guacamole $3, corn ribs $4 1/2 order Dos Equis Wings $5 1/2 order Loaded nachos $7
SALENAS.COM
54
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ THE INFLUENTIAL MAN { SHIFT+CONTROL } } “The reason I want to make sure people know we are out here representing just not the station, but representing Rochester as one of its cultural icons doing our part I guess, to make The Flower City bloom.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Meet Derrick Lucas: An Influential Figure in Jazz and Community Derrick Lucas is the host of “The Spectrum” on Jazz90.1, where he entertains listeners every Sunday night from 10 p.m. to 1 a.m., as well as on weekday mornings from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. His lifelong passion for jazz ignited at the age of four when he acquired his first jazz album, “Spectrum” by drummer Billy Cobham. When he’s not at the station, you can often find him throughout the Flower City, sharing his enthusiasm for great music, especially during the Xerox Rochester International Jazz Festival. Rochester Woman is honored to call Derrick Lucas a friend and is thrilled to share some insights from our recent interview with him. In this interview, we discuss jazz, influences, future plans, and more. We hope you enjoy it! Q1: What is your current role at Jazz 90.1, and what are your key responsibilities? Derrick Lucas: My roles at Jazz 90.1 include being the morning host from 6 a.m. to 10 a.m. I also manage underwriting and sales for the station, serve as the Music Director overseeing a library of over 100,000 songs, screen and review new music for airplay, and assist with station promotions at concerts and events. I’m also responsible for our social media presence on platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok, where we encourage interaction with our listeners. In my morning show, I aim to be the first
person listeners wake up to, offering a mix of light-hearted stories about the artists we play, anecdotes from my interesting childhood, gardening misadventures, fun facts about Rochester, and my obsession with hot peppers—all to keep our audience engaged and entertained while I get them ready for the day. Another part of my job involves reaching out to businesses to establish partnerships and sales. This requires considerable effort and time as we carefully research and identify businesses that align with our listeners’ needs. Additionally, I attend shows, events, and festivals in Western New York, representing not only the station but also Rochester as a cultural icon. Q2: Jazz 90.1 is an important institution in the world of jazz. What makes the station unique and its impact on the community? Derrick Lucas: The uniqueness of Jazz 90.1 becomes evident when our hosts travel outside of Rochester and discover that people across the country recognize us. This recognition is due to our unwavering commitment to featuring the best jazz, spanning various styles. Jazz 90.1 is distinctive in celebrating living jazz artists, making it a place where music enthusiasts of all ages and backgrounds come together. Our station’s diverse staff, including volunteers ranging from 17 to 83 years old, reflects the diversity of our listeners. This inclusivity allows us to connect with a wide array of people, making us a unique station that brings individuals together through their shared love of music.
Q3: In your opinion, what role does jazz music play in our culture, and why is it important to preserve and promote this genre? Derrick Lucas: Jazz holds a unique place in our culture, serving as one of the few things that can bring people together by choice. While jazz may be considered a niche genre, its supporters come from all walks of life. Our station’s staff mirrors our listeners’ diversity, with volunteers ranging from 17 to 83 years old. Jazz’s power lies in uniting people from diverse backgrounds who share a deep love for the music. Jazz brings people together, regardless of who they are or what they do, through their shared passion for the music and the culture it represents. Our station excels in this regard, uniting people in ways that few other mediums can achieve. Q4: Who is your all-time favorite jazz musician, and what about their music or style resonates with you? Derrick Lucas: Miles Davis is my alltime favorite jazz musician. His ability to continuously evolve as an artist, change the status quo, and forge new paths resonates deeply with me. Miles was a true innovator, whether it was in his fashion, trumpet playing, or approach to life. He consistently looked ahead and created a better tomorrow, all while bringing people together. He inspired countless jazz artists to become leaders in their own right. Miles Davis embodies the essence of jazz and its power to unite people in ways you wouldn’t expect. That’s why he’s my favorite jazz musician. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 55
{ THE { SHIFT+CONTROL INFLUENTIAL MAN } } “In my opinion, the role that jazz plays in our culture is immense, because jazz brings a whole world of people together that would generally never be in the same room .”
Q5: Jazz has a reputation for its diverse styles and subgenres. Are there any specific jazz subgenres or eras that you find most fascinating, and why?
extraordinary because it wasn’t planned; it beautifully underscored the power of jazz to enhance the moment and evoke a shared emotional response.
Derrick Lucas: The period from the 1960s through the early 2000s holds a special place in my heart. This era was marked by rapid change in music and society, and the music of that time reflected those changes, especially in the context of civil rights and social transformation. The 1960s still resonates with me because it was a time of immense evolution. Today, I find excitement in the new material emerging in the jazz world. Contemporary artists have greater creative freedom than ever, thanks to the digital age and independence from traditional record labels. As for jazz subgenres, there’s a rich tapestry to explore, from smooth jazz to modal jazz, big band to avant-garde. They all fall under the same jazz umbrella, and we aim to share this diverse spectrum with our listeners.
Q7: Jazz musicians often draw inspiration from various sources. Are there non-musical influences or experiences that have shaped your appreciation for jazz?
Q6: Jazz can be a transformative and emotional genre. Can you tell us about a memorable live jazz performance you’ve witnessed and what made it special? Derrick Lucas: A memorable live performance was when saxophonist Charles Lloyd played a concert in Buffalo on a cold, grey winter day. Out of nowhere, the sun made a quick appearance before setting, and Charles Lloyd, in a spontaneous moment, played “Forest Flower,” his theme song. It wasn’t part of the setlist, but the crowd erupted in celebration. The performance was 56
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
Derrick Lucas: Jazz musicians, as true artists, often draw inspiration from their lives, including non-musical aspects. Jazz greats like Billie Holiday, Charlie Parker, Roy Hargrove, and John Coltrane drew on their life experiences to create music. John Coltrane’s album “A Love Supreme” is a prime example, where he used his personal journey of overcoming addiction to craft a profound musical masterpiece. This ability to turn nonmusical experiences into art profoundly shapes my appreciation for jazz. Q8: Jazz can be a transformative and emotional genre. Are there any specific jazz compositions or albums that have had a profound impact on you personally? Derrick Lucas: “Kind of Blue” by Miles Davis is arguably the most famous jazz album of all time, and it’s for a good reason. It serves as a starting point for exploring jazz history, featuring an ensemble of iconic musicians. It’s a transformative album, allowing listeners to delve into the history of jazz through the musicians who contributed to it. “Kind of Blue” provides an emotional and transformative journey, making it a great choice for those looking to
explore the genre. Q9: Jazz 90.1 likely engages with a wide audience. How do you balance the station’s programming to cater to both jazz enthusiasts and those new to the genre? Derrick Lucas: At Jazz 90.1, we understand that our audience has varied tastes in jazz, from those new to the genre to dedicated enthusiasts. To cater to both groups, we aim to play the broadest variety of music, encompassing different jazz styles. Jazz 90.1 provides a platform where everyone can discover the beauty of jazz, even if their tastes differ. We offer the full spectrum of jazz every day, from contemporary to bebop, big band to Dixieland, and avant-garde to swing. Our goal is to provide listeners with a comprehensive history of jazz, allowing them to explore the genre’s rich tapestry. Q10: What future initiatives or projects is Jazz 90.1 working on, and how can the community get involved or support your endeavors? Derrick Lucas: Jazz 90.1 is gearing up to celebrate its 50th anniversary with a special event featuring Anne Hampton Callaway on November 17th at Max of Eastman Place. We encourage everyone to join us for this celebration. Additionally, we’re working on the “Jazz at the Beach” concert series, where we aim to bring families together for live jazz in a family-friendly atmosphere. We’d love more people to attend these events and make the most of them. Furthermore, our October pledge drive
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 57
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
58
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 59
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
60
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ THE INFLUENTIAL MAN { SHIFT+CONTROL } } “So that’s why I love Miles Davis so much because, whether it was his fashion, the way he played trumpet, the way he approached life, he did it by looking ahead, always looking ahead and creating a better tomorrow.”
plays a vital role in keeping us going. We are a 100% listener-supported station, and your support, no matter the amount, helps us continue to share jazz with the community. You can find more information on our website at jazz901.org. Q11: In your role at Jazz 90.1, what advice would you give to those looking
to become involved in the world of jazz radio? Derrick Lucas: My advice to those interested in jazz radio is to immerse yourself in the community. Attend as many shows as you can, meet people who love jazz, and build a network of like-minded individuals. Learn from those who may not be musicians but have a
deep love for the music. Engaging with diverse perspectives will broaden your understanding and help you become a more effective presenter. Jazz radio thrives on connecting with people, so building relationships and becoming part of the jazz community is essential to succeed in this field.
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 61
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
66
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ THE INFLUENTIAL WOMAN { {WALKING SHIFT+CONTROL WARRIOR } } }
MARY JO COLLIGAN ANGELS OF MERCY PHOTOS BY PORCIA JONES & BECCA PHILLIPS
In the heart of Rochester, New York, Mary Jo Colligan stands as a beacon of hope, compassion, and transformation. As our latest Influential Woman, she epitomizes the spirit of empowerment and service through her unwavering commitment to Angels of Mercy and the Butterfly Boutique, a Christ-centered organization dedicated to supporting women in need, both locally and globally. At the core of Angels of Mercy is a mission to help women and girls achieve freedom, dignity, and restoration through faith in God and coordinated efforts. The organization is driven by the belief that just as Jesus came to set the captives free, they too can play a pivotal role in freeing women from the shackles of adversity and despair. Mary Jo Colligan, as a prominent figure within this Christcentered 501(c)(3) organization, has made this mission her life’s purpose. Mary Jo’s journey in the world of philanthropy and transformation began with a deep-seated desire to create a more just and compassionate world for women facing the trials of life. Her unwavering dedication to the cause has been a guiding light for Angels of Mercy and the Butterfly Boutique, allowing them to touch countless lives. Under her leadership, the organization has made remarkable strides in offering women the tools, support, and faith to rebuild their lives and find their own path to freedom. The Butterfly Boutique, an integral part of Angels of Mercy, has become a symbol of hope and renewal. This unique boutique not only provides essential goods but also nurtures the self-esteem
and resilience of the women it serves. It’s a place where women can rediscover their self-worth and dignity, mirroring the organization’s broader mission. In Mary Jo Colligan, Rochester Woman Online Magazine has found an inspiring and influential woman whose dedication to empowering women and girls transcends geographic boundaries. Her commitment to the cause is not just about charity but about enabling women to soar and embrace a life of freedom, purpose, and faith. As we delve into her story, we are invited to witness the powerful impact one individual can have in making the world a better place, one life at a time. Mary Jo Colligan is a true angel of mercy, and her work is an extraordinary testament to the power of faith and love in driving positive change. Could you share the mission that drives Angels of Mercy and your different programs? Through our various programs – the Butterfly Boutique, Dress a Girl Around the World, Anti-Human Trafficking Education and the Monarca Group we touch women and girls at different points on the spectrum of domestic and sexual violence, human trafficking, and other sources of trauma. Our goal is to educate, equip, protect, validate, celebrate, restore and empower women. We are responding to calls to strengthen and grow our programs, to reach many more women with God’s love, as well as pursue some additional ideas we have identified as community needs. When and how did you first embark on the journey of creating Angels of Mercy and the Butterfly Boutique?
I am a survivor of domestic violence in my first marriage, and have several close family members who’ve also experienced domestic violence, sexual violence and many other tribulations. As a result of these terribly hurtful experiences, I was compelled to assist other women who had experienced trauma. Angels of Mercy was created from that burning desire 16 years ago. Our initial team was my husband, parents, and some very close friends. One of our first initiatives was to collect clothing and coats to assist the underserved, refugees and homeless. I was then introduced to Dress a Girl Around the World by a friend and fell in love with the mission to clothe little girls with beautiful dresses, and thereby offer a level of protection against being kidnapped by human traffickers. A newspaper article in the Democrat and Chronicle called for seamstresses to join us for a Dress a Girl sewing event. That first night, over 150 women holding sewing machines and fabric lined the block to participate! We sewed over 500 dresses, which were then sent with mission teams to dress girls in need and at risk throughout the U.S all over the world. At that time my home was serving as our office and storage space, but with so many endeavors catching attention and community participation, it became apparent AOM needed a physical home. We were helped by many wonderful people in the transition years until we opened our doors at 692 North Winton Rd. Three years after beginning AOM, as our clothing ministry continued to ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 67
{ THE INFLUENTIAL WOMAN } “When I see a woman develop the strength to make consistent, small changes, it makes me feel confident that she can embrace the transformation that’s taking place within her spirit. She will rise above her circumstances toward a hopeful future.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
grow, the Butterfly Boutique opened in our new office space. Our space needs continued to grow as our ministries expanded, and as we served more clients and partnered with more agencies each year. We needed additional desk space for office staff, more display and storage room for clothing, and more room for volunteers to fulfill clothing orders. It was not long before we needed to rent the office next to ours, doubling our space. Currently, many areas of our office space are cleverly multipurpose, as we’ve run out of room to spread out! What motivated you to establish a nonprofit organization and specifically focus on aiding survivors? As I mentioned, I am a survivor of domestic abuse myself. But what really drove us to action was finding out about the extreme trauma that my daughter, Lacey Colligan, endured. The painful impact of all she had suffered had a profound effect on my entire family. As we processed and tried to find help and a way to heal, we began to realize that help was needed not only for Lacey, but for other women and girls as well. God’s word says that He will use the bad situations we have experienced for the good, He has a purpose for each and every life, and He uses people to show His love and help to others. AOM is a community where survivors are heard, believed and supported! Could you provide some insight into your personal background and experiences that led you to this initiative? As a young girl I always wanted to help and serve others. It came natural to me 68
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
as the first born of 6 children of Dr. and Mrs. Russell Gugino. I have experienced the love, values, hard work, and giving of self to others that are evident of my upbringing. I am also a Dental Hygienist. Life has been challenging in so many ways, and my heart was broken deeply many times. God healed me and placed a call within me to use the pain that my family members and I experienced to benefit others. When I answered YES to Him, Angels of Mercy was born! As a result, we have helped thousands of women to realize their worth and value by helping them to raise their self-esteem and to release the impact of shame victims/survivors feel, which is crucial to their healing. Do your efforts extend beyond survivors? Do you collaborate with women outside that category as well? In a sense we are all survivors, whether from a failed relationship, attempted suicide, depression, domestic violence, drug/alcohol abuse, a disaster that destroyed one’s home, homelessness, the loss of a loved one, self-harm, sexual abuse, trafficking, exploitation, etc. the list goes on. I believe we have each experienced some adverse situation that has caused us great pain. AOM ministers to women in any circumstance of need – physical, emotional, or spiritual. AOM is unique in the range of services that we offer, with each of our programs ministering to women at different points in their walk. Can you recount a particularly memorable moment you’ve experienced with Angels of Mercy’s programs? We honor every woman’s story. But
I can give you a few examples of the impact our services have made that will live with me forever. In the Butterfly Boutique, every woman we meet has impressed us with her determination and resilience, and the beauty of her soul that we can see, even through the toughest of times. We are so honored to have the opportunity to strengthen women in the moments that our lives intersect. And sometimes, after realizing the significance of our interaction, she is moved to come back to us. One such woman has become a beloved team member on our volunteer staff. We have done life with her as she diligently completed a healing program, found a new home, and secured employment. In her newfound freedom, she has rediscovered herself and her interests, where she gives and receives friendship. With this new perspective, she turns around, reaches back, and gives a guiding hand to others who are still walking toward restoration. Dress a Girl Around the World There is no definitive way to assess the exponential positive impact each of the dresses has made to girls in need and at risk. Girls lives have been saved from being sold into sex trafficking. Since becoming the NYS Ambassador, AOM has distributed over one million dresses both locally, nationally, and worldwide. The other benefit to this ministry is to the seamstresses. Women have shared such raw emotion when they describe what Dress a Girl means to them. In some cases, the seamstresses have been victimized by sexual assaults themselves, and have had little to no opportunity to
{ THE INFLUENTIAL WOMAN }
“Every woman is unique! It is very impressive to see a woman who is comfortable and secure in the unique way God made her. “ heal. Keeping her abuse secret has been normalized in her life. However, when her hands and eyes are working on these dresses, as her fingers work the fabric, as her imagination is poured into the design, she knows that this dress might save a little girl from suffering as she did. This process becomes cathartic - a catalyst to healing deep wounds from events that she may never vocalize to another human being. For others, it helps them process the grief of losing a loved one, pulling them from pits of despair because now they have a purpose that yields tangible and eternal results. For others, it offers a chance at community and friendship, which is so important to our mental and emotional health. Anti-Human Trafficking Education - A
13 year old girl who attended a Human Trafficking Awareness Presentation was saved in the nick of time. She recognized that she herself was in the grooming process and was scheduled to meet the trafficker alone, without her parent’s knowledge just three days later. She began that day thinking that she had a perfect boyfriend; she ended that day realizing he was evil, and that she barely escaped a living nightmare. She was visibly shaken, scared and grateful after the presentation. She told her teacher, and together with her parents, they pulled her from the situation and began an investigation. Her life was saved that night. Monarca Group - In this informal peer-
to-peer support group, we have been honored to minister to some amazing women. Each woman is a champion with a priceless story, and each has a special place with us - whether they have attended once or each time. One woman has been committed to putting the small changes that we discuss into practice. We’ve been by her side, encouraging her as she searched for and obtained new housing and employment. We’ve celebrated with her as she found her niche with her new employer, was promoted and trusted with greater responsibility, and earned the favor of her coworkers and the families she serves. She exemplifies a woman’s journey to better-ness! Recognizing that her life was not what she wanted it to be, she put in ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 69
{ THE{ INFLUENTIAL WOMAN } SHIFT+CONTROL }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“God has created us to be confident, bold, and free - free to be ourselves, and free from the need to compare ourselves to others. We encourage the women we serve to step into His destiny for their lives.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
the effort to make one small decision at a time, was kind to herself and kept a positive attitude. She loves the Monarca Group and looks forward to attending each month. Her new-found confidence has led her to exciting experiences and opportunities. At the recent Fringe Fest, the Roc City Singers performed a program called Rise, a celebration of survivors. Her AOM and Monarca supporters were so proud of her participation as a model for the fashion show portion of the event. This brave woman is an inspiring example of coming into her own and embracing life!
72
Are there any success stories from women who have benefited from Angels of Mercy and the Butterfly Boutique that you can share publicly? The survivors we serve are my constant inspiration! One of AOM’s interns, Tori Bogacki, created a wonderful documentary called Voices of Inspiration, which shares the testimonies of five women who identify as survivors whose lives were positively impacted by their interactions with Angels of Mercy. Each woman relates the painful experiences that brought her to Angels of Mercy, and how our support and love helped them to heal and move forward. The inspiration comes from seeing how these women have used their stories to empower others! You can watch the documentary at https://www.youtube. com/watch?v=yyKvBLa22eY
is over the phone. We operate from the viewpoint that we are all just one incident away from being the one who needs help, so our personnel immediately go into friendship mode, establishing a rapport of equality and respect. The client may or may not share details of their current situation. We ask a series of questions to get to know them, discover their style, favorite colors and patterns, and how they like their clothes to fit. We try to determine what types of clothes are needed most - everyday wear, interview outfits, casual wear for work, church attire, etc. With the client’s needs and wishes in mind, the Boutique volunteers take great care to pull beautiful items that meet these requirements, and cohesively create an interchangeable wardrobe. We provide undergarments as well, and complete the client’s order by including jewelry, fashion scarves, a purse, shoes and personal care items. Our volunteers give their whole heart to selecting each woman’s order, wanting her to feel so loved and valued, and to truly enjoy their new wardrobe! We recognize and celebrate the beauty and inherent value in the soul of each woman as we bless our clients with these wardrobes. Social workers, hospitals, 211, and an array of service providers refer their clients to us for clothing. One of our referring agency contacts said “Angels of Mercy dresses women with dignity,” so she loves referring women to AOM.
Can you describe the process behind selecting and providing the appropriate professional clothing for women survivors? Our initial interaction with the client
In what ways do you see the offerings of the Butterfly Boutique influencing women’s confidence and empowerment? The tangible gift of a beautiful quality outfit can lift our spirits, help us to see a
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
side of ourselves that may be untapped, to look in the mirror and see a polished new look, helping us to see ourselves differently! We can face new environments and new challenges assuredly when we are dressed the part. We wish that a lack of clothing would never be a hindrance to a person accomplishing their potential. When we are starting over, or pushing through a situation, we may not have the proper attire for school or for a work environment. That’s where AOM and our supporters come in – providing a specifically selected, entirely free wardrobe of fine clothing that a precious woman needs to step into that next season of life! To the best of our ability in each situation, we also make connections and provide referrals to enable women to access the resources they need to continue moving forward. What kind of support and partnerships have you established to further your mission? Relationships are very important at Angels of Mercy. We partner with women and men who are also engaged in supporting women to achieve freedom and wholeness. We have reciprocal relationships with over 100 agencies, companies, churches and schools. AOM is also a member of several consortiums of agencies working to support the range of needs related to domestic and sexual violence, human trafficking, drug and alcohol addictions, homelessness, incarceration and other issues that overlap with our mission. The Rochester community is truly a team! Every beautiful article of clothing or accessory we provide has been generously
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
74
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ THE{ INFLUENTIAL WOMAN } SHIFT+CONTROL }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“From all that I have experienced, you shouldn’t let anyone steal your dreams and joy. Their abuse is a reflection of them...not you!” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
y donated to us by the amazing women in the Rochester area. Our financial support consists of fundraising events, some grants, and a few dedicated sponsors. What are some of the challenges you’ve faced while running a nonprofit organization and a boutique simultaneously, and how do you manage to balance your role as the owner of these ventures with your personal life? Running a non-profit is a blessing in many ways. I do have to say that being “on” 24/7 is challenging. I work hard to support our clients and to raise funds to keep AOM moving forward. While it is wonderful to expand our services, it is challenging to juggle the demands of serving the additional needs in our community and obtaining the resources required to do so. I pray each day for the strength to be the change I want to see and the resilience to continue my work. I ask God to bless me with the wisdom to appreciate the people and the world around me, to help me to see light when there seems to be only darkness, and that I may be an instrument of peace and community. I try to greet each new day with a grateful and joyous spirit. Without a doubt, AOM’s greatest asset is our indispensable team of volunteers. Angels of Mercy is an extension of me, and our volunteers are an extension of my family. Without their loving dedication, I would have much less balance. I know I can count on them, and that helps me enjoy my personal time peacefully.
Finding balance is difficult at times and self-care is often put on the back burner, when it should come first. I try to practice what we teach, and make conscious choices to do the things I enjoy that nurture my wellness. My husband and I have regular dates, I have wonderful relationships with my children and regularly babysit my beloved grandchildren. I spend time with my mother, and I enjoy lunch outings with my girlfriends. I also enjoy a little pampering at the hair or nail salon… but at times, the most important thing I can do for my wellbeing is to get regular rest. What steps do you take to ensure that the impact of your organization is sustainable and enduring? I believe that God is the answer to that. Since God is the one that implanted this idea in my heart, I believe that if we continue to acknowledge and respect him in all of our ways, He will continue to direct our path. As long as His grace is upon our mission, I believe we will thrive into the future. As our organization grows, our Board is spending time reflecting on our vision and mission, our practices and procedures, and evaluating what is working well and what can be improved upon. It is important that we determine how we can make the best and most efficient use of our finances and multipurpose space. We know that Rochester is among the poorest cities in the U.S., and more people are in need than ever. We need to practice discernment in our decision making to stay focused on our key programs. If time and energy were
limitless, we would try to save the world! No item or dollar donated is wasted. We partner with many agencies to pass forward the donated clothing items that do not meet the needs of Angels of Mercy’s clients. We consistently provide clothing to local Ukrainian refugees, migrants, and the unhoused. We want to ensure that every donation benefits people in need, and that nothing ends up in a landfill. Could you shed light on where we can expect to see you, Mary Jo Colligan, making an impact next? We have several areas of growth on our vision board. For example, we recently had the honor of presenting an Anti-Human Trafficking Awareness presentation to the Rochester Finger Lakes Dental Hygienists’ Association, which earned attendees Continuing Education Credits. It was not only very well attended, but also very well received. My goal is to expand this CEU education to other professional organizations who could join in the fight to eradicate domestic violence and human trafficking by identifying and assisting individuals they may encounter through their daily work. Additionally, we will be entering the second year of our new peer-to-peer support program, Monarca Group. In this trauma-informed facilitated group we are currently working through the Eight Areas of Wellness and learning how implementing one small change at a time can aid us in our healing journey from the impacts of trauma. As we enter into our second phase we are looking forward to guest speakers, hands-on ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 75
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“ Our office is a place of grace, where clients and volunteers feel hope and peace. The love clients feel, and the gifts of clothing often change women’s self-image immediately!” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
opportunities for practical application, and welcoming new friends into our community. I am also very much looking forward to getting out into the community more myself. It energizes me to personally encourage women in their journey – I love to get out from behind my desk and minister to women directly! The activities we’re working on as we look toward the end of the year and into 2024… • Our Stop the Violence/End the Cycle One Mile Walk is October 7th at Sexton Park (formerly North Ponds Park) • We will be recognizing the International Day of the Girl on Oct 11th • We will host an Awareness Walk for Domestic Violence Month in front of our office on October 24th. • We are working on our winter coat and boot drive to prepare for the high demand this winter. • We will host a Volunteer Appreciation luncheon on November 5th. We will also be providing our volunteers with human trafficking education, because it is crucial that they understand the trauma that our clients have and may still be enduring. • We have several Anti-Human Trafficking Awareness presentations scheduled in October and November. January is National Human Trafficking Awareness month, and are planning awareness events for the community. 76
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
Of course this is not an exhaustive list, please stay tuned! Could you share any future projects or initiatives that you’re excited about for Angels of Mercy and your programs? We are excitedly working to reestablish our Dress a Girl Around the World community sewing events. Seamstresses and volunteers loved to join us at our regular sewing events prior to Covid and we always had a packed house. It’s an amazing event, and many of our region’s participants want to be able to gather again. You’ll definitely hear more about this soon! In November AOM will celebrate its 16th incredible year in ministry! We celebrated our 15th by throwing the party of the year - our first Western Hoedown, and it was an absolute hit! We have been inundated with requests to host another fun event, and we are pleased to announce that we will host our 2nd annual Western Hoedown at Midvale Country Club on March 9th! We are working hard to reorganize our office and Boutique space. We are looking forward to holding an open house in the near future – stay tuned! We have continued to serve increasing numbers of women through the Butterfly Boutique. This is exciting and challenging at the same time. We are working to shore up our infrastructure of staff and space to enable us to support these needs. How can individuals who are interested in supporting your cause get involved or contribute to your initiatives? First, we sincerely appreciate everyone who contributes time, financial support,
tangible goods, or prayer, and we consider them equal partners in the changed lives that happen through Angels of Mercy. In order for AOM to meet the growing needs of our community, it is essential that we enlist additional consistent financial benefactors and sponsors that can help us to move past the income plateau we are experiencing. While demands on our resources are high and we have opportunity to do much more, funding is tighter than ever. Perhaps there are those in our community for whom domestic or sexual violence or human trafficking resonates on a personal level. Or maybe these subjects provoke a primal need to fight, protect, and restore. We would encourage you to connect with us and learn how your generous sponsorships could impact and save more lives. AOM also has some very specific volunteer needs. We are seeking dedicated, compassionate volunteers who can commit to either one, two, or three 5-hour days per week to help in our office, especially on the phone. Our office is BUSY, but it is a fun and rewarding work environment! In addition, we need a Volunteer Coordinator, and a few antihuman trafficking advocates who are interested and willing in committing time and training to become anti-human trafficking educators.
SHIFT+CONTROL } { THE{ INFLUENTIAL WOMAN }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Many women don’t even self-identify until they’ve been to one of our Anti-human Trafficking Awareness presentations.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
or winter coat drives for AOM! Helping AOM to prevent human trafficking through education is paramount! Invite us to provide our Anti-Human Trafficking Awareness presentation in your schools and organizations. You really need to learn about how recruiting and grooming happen in the U.S. - you could save someone you know and love. Community support of our fundraisers is so appreciated and wonderful. It’s always a lot of fun getting to know each other in a different environment than our day-to-day. We so appreciate third-party fundraising events as well! THE PRESIDENTS CALL TO ACTION: I want each wonderful member of your audience to realize this: Domestic and sexual violence as well as human trafficking are much more common than you may think. It could be happening to 78
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
someone very close to you without you having the slightest suspicion. Shrouded in shame and psychologically abused, many victims are suffering in plain sight with many co-occurring situations, such as self-harm, destructive habits and/ or self-medication through substance abuse. Victims are ill-prepared to rescue themselves from their situation and may not have anyone to turn to. Things are not always as they appear. Please do not believe that this would never happen to your family - because it happened in mine, and it’s happening in 1000’s of families every day. I strongly urge you to educate yourself so that you can protect yourself and your family. So many in our communities are struggling to barely hang on through abuse, poverty, social injustice and hopelessness. At Angels of Mercy, we are fighting for your little girl and boy, for your sister or mother. We are equipping people with the knowledge that they need to escape the traps of the enemy…
Does your child know the tactics of traffickers? Does your sister know the tactics of an abuser? We validate women in their pursuit of wholeness, in their bravery to persevere. Who do you know who needs a discreetly provided beautiful new wardrobe so they can step out into life like a champion? Is it you? We are educating and empowering women in their healing. Does your mother/aunt/friend/coworker know she can find new friends, and learn new things that can enrich her life? As we fight for our children, our families and our community, will you stand and fight with us? Become a financial partner, a volunteer, and a warrior with Angels of Mercy! To join our mailing list, contact us https:// www.angelsofmercyny.org/contact-us
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 79
MEET
KIM FISCHER “I am a holistic empowerment & leadership coach, the CEO of Kim Is Manifesting, creator of the RISE Revolution and the [SOUL]idified podcast. My brand’s purpose is to empower individuals to unearth their innate potential. ”
84
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ WOMEN OF UPSTATE & CNY }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“In order for a leader to be effective they must know how to go there first; how to lead themselves before anyone else invites them or encourages them.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Introducing Kim Fischer: Holistic Empowerment and Leadership Coach In a world driven by the pursuit of success and personal growth, Kim Fischer stands out as a beacon of holistic empowerment and leadership. As the CEO of “Kim Is Manifesting” and the visionary creator of the “Rise Revolution,” she is a dynamic force in the self-development arena, leading individuals on a journey of transformation and selfdiscovery. With her inspiring presence and her enlightening “SOULidified” podcast, Kim Fischer is making waves in the realm of personal and professional development. Kim Fischer is not your typical empowerment coach. Her unique approach combines a deep understanding of the mind, body, and soul. Her journey into holistic empowerment began as a personal quest to overcome adversity and find her true purpose. With years of experience as a life coach, she developed a holistic method that nurtures every aspect of an individual’s life, propelling them towards their fullest potential. Kim’s approach goes beyond traditional empowerment strategies, touching on mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being, creating a well-rounded transformation in her clients’ lives. The “Rise Revolution” is Kim’s brainchild, a movement designed to ignite a fire within individuals, encouraging them to
break free from self-imposed limitations and reach new heights. Through workshops, seminars, and personal coaching, she empowers her clients to confront their fears, embrace their potential, and set forth on a path towards self-fulfillment. With a reputation for sparking positive change, Kim Fischer has become a sought-after authority in the world of holistic empowerment.
Further cementing her status as a thought leader, Kim hosts the “SOULidified” podcast. This podcast delves into the intricacies of personal development and offers a platform for inspiring discussions with thought leaders, authors, and professionals. Kim’s soothing voice and insightful content provide a steady stream of motivation and knowledge to her dedicated listeners.
In summary, Kim Fischer is more than an empowerment coach; she’s a guide on the profound journey to selfdiscovery and transformation. Her holistic approach, the “Rise Revolution,” and the “SOULidified” podcast combine to offer individuals a comprehensive toolkit for reaching their full potential. With her unwavering commitment to helping others find their path to empowerment, Kim Fischer is a name to remember in the realm of self-development and leadership Can you introduce yourself and tell us about your background and journey to where you are today? I am a holistic empowerment & leadership coach, the CEO of Kim Is Manifesting, creator of the RISE Revolution and the [SOUL]idified podcast. My brand’s purpose is to empower individuals to unearth their innate potential. I first started teaching yoga in 2007. I rented space, subbed for other teachers- anything to gain experience. Finally, I was able to land a solid teaching position at a local studio and eventually was promoted to manager. Fast forward to 2011, I opened up my own studio, Lotus Life Yoga Center. At the peak of the business, I had two locations, 30 employees and a very large student flowing. We offered yoga teacher training programs, retreats to Costa Rica, and workshops on many different topics of interest. It was the gem of the community. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 85
{ SHIFT+CONTROL { WOMEN OF UPSTATE & }CNY }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“I want to be able to be an angel investor for other female entrepreneurs as well as fund research in the embodiment and meditation area of self-improvement.”
However, around 2011 I started to feel a strong call to finish my undergrad degree. I have always identified as a life-long learner and so I knew better than to ignore my soul and heart’s desires. Sometimes you need to leap and trust the Universe. So, I sold my business’s assets to another local yoga studio who happened to be looking to expand at the same time (talk about great timing!). Although I was excited to pursue education and love risk, this was a very difficult time for me and the community. My identity was completely changing and I was leaving behind something that I loved deeply. Little did I know that fate would have me resurrect something I thought was buried, almost five years later. In the Fall of 2011, I restarted my quest toward an undergraduate degree and then quickly moved on to my graduate degree in Human Computer Interaction. This eventually led me to working as a User Experience (UX) Designer at a local tech company. I loved my job, the culture, and made a great salary. All the while, I never stopped teaching yoga. In fact, I taught a lot of yoga and really started to ramp up my social media presence and emailing campaigns. I also started up an online community, taught remote classes, and offered a few in-person retreats. Then, in August of 2021, it all came to a head. I was exhausted from basically working two full-time jobs. I knew, deep down, that I wanted to dive back into full-time entrepreneurship. So I did what worked once before in my life- I asked the Universe for help. Literally. I will never forget the moment. I threw my 86
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
arms into the air, and with full humility and faith, said the following “Universe, I need help. You know what I want. Give it to me in a way that, when I see it, I will know it’s from you. And I promise I will take action.” That evening, a friend messaged me, wondering if I was aware that my previous location was once again available for lease?! Chills ran up and down my spine and I knew I had received the help I asked for. I made good on my end of the bargain, as I promised. I called my former landlord and ended up securing financing and signing the lease all within 9 days. I quit my amazing job as a UX Designer and Lotus Life was resurrected. Opening a yoga studio (again) amidst the pandemic proved to be challenging to say the least. I was able to keep the doors open for just over 1 year. The 2nd round of the studio allowed me to break free from my corporate job, reintroduce myself into the wellness and entrepreneurial scene, and build trust with new students that would become my key members of the fully online empowerment business that I am still operating today. How did the concept of “Kim Is Manifesting” come about, and what inspired you to create it? It came about organically after a deep contemplative embodiment session. I remember suddenly having awareness that manifesting is both a process and a state. On one hand I can be doing the acts and processes of manifesting and I at the same time I am simultaneously tapped into manifesting energy itself; never separated and never not calling in
my highest good. Kim Is Manifesting states what I do and what I am never separate from and what future clients can expect to experience when interacting with my brand; come to me if you want to learn how to manifest. Honestly, I do see the name changing at some point in the future because I do teach on more than just manifesting; i.e. empowerment coaching and occasional business mentorship and coaching memberships. You specialize in holistic empowerment. What led you to focus on this particular approach? When I was going through my divorce back in 2014 I hit a very low point. I was experiencing depressive symptoms, loneliness on an epic scale, and my selfconfidence all but disappeared. All of this was happening while I was starting up my graduate program! The only thing that kept me sane was having an understanding of the benefits of holistic wellness and empowerment. I knew that if I could stay active, eat well, get into nature, spend time with positive people, employ techniques to keep my mind steady (i.e. meditation and positive affirmations), I could somehow get through it. And I did! I became a true believer of holistic empowerment during that season of my life. As a result of that experience, plus my two decades of teaching yoga and mindfulness, plus studying psychology and cognitive science it was inevitable that I would infuse this approach into all I do. Can you share something about yourself that people might not know, a hidden talent or a unique fact?
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
kim fischer
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 87
{ WOMEN OF UPSTATE & }CNY } { SHIFT+CONTROL “The RISE Revolution is for the woman who is ready to take ownership of her life and walk the edge between desire and action. “
I used to drive school bus for a short while as a side hustle. I had to stop. I realized two things; I can’t work around diesel fumes and I have zero patience with middle school kids. Who or what inspires you in your work as a holistic empowerment and leadership coach? Just knowing who has assigned me with this sacred mission (Source) gives me momentum. If I wait for inspiration to give me the green light I will forever be on a rollercoaster of commitment. Inspiration isn’t always guaranteed because I am human so something else bigger than me needs to lead and that is awareness. I know that running a business and brand actually doesn’t require me being inspired, filled with passion, or any of those other big emotions and feelings we think we need to be successful. It only requires that I have awareness of who gave me this mission. That’s enough for me to show up everyday and deliver. Could you describe the types of coaching services you provide to your clients? I am committed to reshaping the landscape of personal growth and wellness. This is achieved through a collection of intuitive, science-backed solutions such as high-level masterminds, immersive coaching memberships, and exclusive in-person retreats, that breathe life into the soul, sharpen the mind, and rejuvenate the body. The RISE Revolution is my signature ecosystem 90
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
that contains the rolling membership that offers a holistic empowerment curriculum through the lens of my Five to Rise System. I also offer 1:1 coaching and the RISE Mastermind. I open up these programs when I intuitively feel it is time to offer them, typically this is once a year. Running in tandem to the RISE Revolution are always stand alone masterclasses or digital courses
that offer a niched experience based on what season my brand is in and what message I want to teach. What is the “Rise Revolution,” and how does it tie into your holistic empowerment philosophy? It was June of last year and I was sitting outside, contemplating my brand and starting to develop my creative and strategic vision for the quarter, when suddenly a turkey vulture flew overhead.
I was overcome with a feeling that told me that my next ecosystem would have a theme of adventure, empowerment, and ‘soaring’ into new realms. The word “rise” came to me right then. I spent time reflecting on that word and I called in the energy of the woman who would join the future membership. I saw her energetically rising into her full potential, much like the vulture is always seen flying high overhead. I also began to research the vulture and I learned that when they are gathered together they are known as a “committee” which I liked because that is what we are when we gather; a committee of intelligent women working together and counseling each other into greater energy and awareness. The RISE Revolution is for the woman who is ready to take ownership of her life and walk the edge between desire and action. She is tired of waiting for someone or something to tell her when to play big. She is finished with mediocrity and desires a curriculum that challenges her and doesn’t rob her of fun and personal expression while she transforms. In other words, she is ready to create her own personal revolution on her terms! The RISE Revolution uses the Five to Rise Holistic Empowerment System that celebrates, elevates, and ritualizes the five most important aspects of a person’s life; mind, body, soul, energy, and social. Once these five areas are enhanced it spreads into all other aspects of life from career, wealth, love, and entrepreneurship; it creates an unstoppable woman. This is
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
“The RISE Revolution
uses the Five to Rise Holistic Empowerment System that CELEBRATES, ELEVATES and ritualizes the five most important aspects of a person’s life; MIND, BODY, SOUL, ENERGY, and SOCIAL.
”
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 91
{ SHIFT+CONTROL { WOMEN OF UPSTATE & }CNY } “I am committed to reshaping the landscape of personal growth and wellness.”
holistic empowerment that supports the modern woman who is ready to amplify all aspects of herself and her life. What are some of your plans and aspirations for the future in your coaching and empowerment journey? Legacy is everything. I want to be able to be an angel investor for other female entrepreneurs as well as fund research in the embodiment and meditation area of self-improvement. In the near future, I want to write a few books on my philosophies and empowerment concepts and systems as well as travel the world as a highly paid motivational speaker. Can you share a success story or a transformational experience you’ve had with one of your clients? One of my clients just lost her cousin to cancer about a year ago. They were very close so that death was very difficult for her. Two years before that she had lost her father tragically and suddenly. It was always painful to think of removing any memories of the two of them from her sight around the house. However, one morning in early September, she awoke to see her cousin’s picture on the bedside table and the ring her father and her picked out together when she was just 14 years old and knew that it was time to make a change. She told me that it was time to “step out of the shadow of the past and into the light of the Now.” She bravely took down the picture and removed the ring from her finger and stored them away. My client said she felt a huge sense of relief and lightness and that the only reason she felt resolved around these actions was 92
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
because of the curriculum and energy inside the RISE revolution. Hesitation and living in the past were no longer a part of her identity. What are some common challenges or obstacles your clients often face, and how do you assist them in overcoming these? Clients are always experiencing what I call the “rollercoaster” of excitement. They start off fired up and optimistic only to feel defeated, worried, or hard on themselves a few weeks later. It’s almost as if the honeymoon of their original passion and excitement for self- improvement wears off and they are left with the realization that at the end of the day it’s all work and skills. I refer to this drop in enthusiasm as the “Season of Development.” This is the season that most skip over because we don’t know that it is a natural part of growth. My goal is to help clients, within their Season of Development, feel grounded and clear. This is achieved through embodiment exercises and a general reframing of how they are experiencing this season. For example, instead of seeing this period as a sign that they shouldn’t continue on, I remind them that they are recalibrating their body and mind to grow into the person they are meant to become. On what planet would that be comfortable? This reframe allows my clients to relax and accept the discomfort and uncertainty as a good sign that they are on the right path and to keep going. In your opinion, what are the key elements of effective leadership in today’s world?
There is one quality of leadership that will be relevant no matter what year and no matter what a leader’s position or title… In order for a leader to be effective they must know how to go there first; how to lead themselves before anyone else invites them or encourages them. This often looks like walking yourself into the emotional, mental, and physical spaces that don’t feel comfortable or that challenge our confidence. It will demand true bravery. If an individual is willing to be shaped by those experiences they will always come to know, innately, what it feels like going into the unknown and the reward of growth that is promised on the other side. That direct knowledge is what builds empathy and wisdom; attractive qualities of a leader. What advice would you give to someone who is just starting their journey towards holistic empowerment and self-discovery? Don’t underestimate the power of going slow and small. Lasting change takes small, repeatable actions done over a period of time. Also, be gentle on yourself. You will make mistakes, fall back into old habits and thinking, and be in a sour mood some days. Just remember that your transformation doesn’t have to be linear or feel good. You’re allowed a crappy day, so cut yourself slack often. Can you share some recommended resources or books for individuals interested in personal growth and empowerment? Three books: The Big Leap: Gay Hendricks, Happy Pocket Full of Money: David Cameron Gikandi, and You 2: Price Pritchett.
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 93
{ WOMEN OF UPSTATE & CNY }
“Inspiration isn’t always guaranteed because I am human so something else bigger than me needs to lead and that is awareness” Finally, what message or motto do you live by that you’d like to share with our readers? My favorite motto right now is all about the reframing of resistance that naturally occurs as we step onto 94
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
the path of growth. I always tell clients, “If you are serious [about self-improvement], you need to get curious [about resistance]”. This will help anyone switch from victim into conqueror and to learn about
themselves while they are in the resistance. This is the key to rapid self-improvement and empowerment.
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 95
{ WOMEN OF UPSTATE & }CNY } { SHIFT+CONTROL
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“I believe in lifting each other versus one person dominating over another. My ability to connect with people and empower others is a natural gift.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Laura, your tagline is “Awaken to Your Potential.” Can you share why you chose this message and what it means? I believe we have an innate ability to awaken to our incredible potential. But at times, life experiences prevent us from fully believing in the power of ourselves. While we all have the best intentions and want to succeed, limiting beliefs or aspects of life may prevent us from being the best version of ourselves. My role is as a guide to help others navigate to a place – where self-empowerment, self-belief, and worthiness reside. Once awakened to our full potential, we can achieve anything! Fundamentally, Awaken to Your Amazing Potential is about tapping into the part of each of us where unlimited potential resides. It’s the housing center for creativity, intuition, and life purpose. However, we must become self-aware and self-empowered to claim our worthiness for an amazing life. Then, we can harness our power for good and become our most vibrant version of ourselves.
food sat hand in hand at the kitchen table. A generation of women gathered around a pot of tomato sauce, offering wisdom, including my Nana Rose, mom, Beverly, and aunts. Much sage advice was offered, such as, “Lipstick is your friend. Put on Lipstick and feel the magic within you when in doubt!” Also, “Plant a rose, but know you must water it to foster its growth. Because in life, you will need to do that!”
Could you take us through your journey of self-discovery and transformation that led you to where you are today? First off, self-discovery is a lifelong journey. And one that has many windy roads along with incredible sunset vistas. There isn’t a singular experience; instead, there are multiple occurrences.
Fast forward years later, I found myself at the pinnacle of success, earning over 250,000k at age 34 in a male-dominated environment. My ability to connect with people helped me advance. However, it took an international assignment for me to be alone with my thoughts, besides constantly thinking about work or family – to realize that I had to form a deep connection with myself. Therefore, I set out to explore by writing down reflective
I grew up in Fairport, New York, in an Italian Catholic family where faith and 96
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
thoughts over the next seven years. I started incorporating more self-care – like caring enough about myself to water the well of my being. I learned to meditate, traveled to spiritual meccas, and explored faith beliefs beyond my Catholic roots – absorbing knowledge and awakening to the fact – that all of us are interconnected, independent of any race, religion, or economics. During these years, I wrote in a journal, actually many journals. A subset of thoughts became my first best seller – but I didn’t want the book to be about me, so I interviewed 1000 women on “What inspires You in everyday life?” Simultaneously, I experienced a divorce. This occurrence shook me because I was a high achiever, unfamiliar with failing, and loved the man I married. I found that I had to become “comfortable sitting in the uncomfortable,” given moments of vulnerability. We are forced to look at ourselves when left alone. And we have a choice: to replay old, outdated tapes that no longer serve us or to create a new playlist of songs—also exploring what makes us happy through selfdiscovery. I chose to see challenges, particularly my divorce, as a gift. An opportunity existed to peel back the onion of myself to embrace self-love, self-care, and selfempowerment. Now, I want to teach the world that no matter what happens
MEET AUTHOR
LAURA PONTICELLO “My conversational writing style feels like two friends sharing a cup of tea or a mocha latte. Hence, I am mindful to keep the book’s subject matter relevant to the reader. ”
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 97
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
98
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ WOMEN OF UPSTATE & }CNY } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Writing can be like spitting out the best part of you on a piece of paper when creative flow happens, toggled by many moments of vulnerability”
in life, your brilliance and a shining star exist in you, independent of anything life throws your way. Many of your readers are on their paths to self-improvement. What advice would you offer them for claiming all they are destined for in this lifetime? You are worthy ( self-worthiness) of an incredible life. Today offers you a restart, independent of what has transpired in your life. With that, a new dawn brings forth a fantastic opportunity to appreciate the blessings in your life. That said, the path to self-discovery entails gaining self-awareness of your thoughts, letting go of limited beliefs that no longer serve you, fostering self-care practices, and investing in yourself. Also, life is meant to be joyful – we must permit ourselves to feel joyful. Let’s dive into your books. Can you tell us about some of the titles you’ve written and what inspired you to write them? Live the Life of Your Dreams, 33 Tips for Inspired Living is a collection of tidbits from seven years of journal entries and sticky note pieces of paper. Additionally, I have a perspective from 1,000 women I interviewed about daily living. I felt a calling to inspire others with a book you could open to any page for inspiration, especially for working Moms who may not have time to read a book cover to cover. The Art of Self Transformation- now updated as a completely new book called Awaken to Your Amazing Potential (release date September 2023). Most recently became a #1 Best Seller for
New Age Self Help. This book is very personal to me and my best writing so far – because it is written from a space of love and positivity for the reader. The Book of Joy, Overcoming Life Obstacles, was penned during COVID times and has garnished a book award nomination given the topic of JOY. It is an easy-to-read book infused with the power of intention, practical advice, and stories on infusing joy into your daily living. The Entrepreneurial Compass, A Guide to Prosperity, a Life in Balance and Joy, an Indie Award Winner for Entrepreneurship, encourages entrepreneurs to lean into self–care, self-empowerment, and balanced living practices. Awaken to Your Amazing Potential – is now inspiring others to tap into their potential. Writing can be a deeply personal process. What was it like for you to write your books? Were there any challenges or highlights you’d like to share? Writing can be like spitting out the best part of you on a piece of paper when creative flow happens, toggled by many moments of vulnerability. Because many times, writing is self-expression and a way to process thoughts and feelings. My conversational writing style feels like two friends sharing a cup of tea or a mocha latte. Hence, I am mindful to keep the book’s subject matter relevant to the reader. But initially, I write without censorship, allowing what needs to be expressed to be written on the page.
Next, I organize the writing into chapters, overlay personal stories, and add thoughtprovoking reflective questions. One challenge that goes beyond a writer’s perspective is the feeling of being “stuck.” When this happens, I remind myself there are ebbs and flows to creativity. So I ride the wave when creativity pours forth while also ensuring I hydrate myself –drinking water – because I have writing marathons where stories pour out of me. Yet, I must restore or rest my writing muscles. This example is also a point for others – to restore and nourish. Could you briefly describe the themes or messages readers can expect to find in your books? There is a commonality across all my books – you are worthy of a fantastic life, but to reach that pivotal point of caring enough for yourself, to be your best version – you must invest in selfcare, self-discovery, and carve out time for yourself. Healthy habits, self-care tips, pause points, creative bursts, and prompting questions for self-reflection are always in all my books—real-life guidance through case examples and stories offering insight. Your role as a coach and teacher is pivotal in helping others achieve their potential. What motivates you to guide and inspire others on their journeys? I know from the depths of my heart that everyone has incredible potential. After twenty years of coaching others, teaching, being a subject matter expert, and interviewing thousands of people, I found a commonality. Individuals are most successful when they are empowered ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 99
{ SHIFT+CONTROL { WOMEN OF UPSTATE & }CNY } “You are worthy ( self-worthiness) of an incredible life. Today offers you a restart, independent of what has transpired in your life.”
and authentic. Not someone others want them to be, but instead living from a space of complete self-empowerment. My passionate purpose is to help lead others on a journey of self-discovery. Encouraging them to realize their dreams, discover their longings, and put practices in place to become the most amazing version of themselves. Can you share a memorable success story from one of your coaching or teaching experiences? Individuals define success differently because, many times, there is an expectation to deliver monetary results. My definition of success has evolved to include feeling joyful and achieving a balanced life, knowing that money can’t buy happiness. I have many examples in my work life, but I will focus on a few that showcase this mindset. Mary felt compelled to be everything to everyone while running a highly successful business. Yet Mary lacked inner satisfaction and deeply desired a balanced life. Therefore, we explored an invitation for self-discovery. We put a plan in place to carve out more self-care, and my role was as a sounding board for her to share ideas. Over time, within six months, she radically decided to say YES to herself. Today, she is much happier with her life choices, and her business is thriving. Bob was a train wreck when I met him. He was highly intelligent and successful but lacked self-awareness that his greatest ideas could arrive when he connected with 100
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
himself. He was frustrated, stressed out, and tired. I asked him, what could you do immediately to shift the narrative of your life? How could you start even with 15 minutes a day to sit and breathe and begin to quiet the racing mind? Bob told me he wanted to return to running and be more creative at work. He decided to read my Entrepreneurial Compass book, honestly unsure what he would think. He told me he implemented the “Be Mindful of What You Are Feeding Yourself Daily” tip – an invitation to shift your mindset into positive self-talk. Well, flash forward, Bob is now calmer and much more self-aware of the thoughts he is telling himself, and then he can attune and adjust his mindset. He runs and says his best ideas arrive when he is centered, calm, and can hear himself breathing.
and the power of intention setting.
In addition to being an author and coach, you’re also a publicist. How do you balance these different roles, and what drew you to the world of publicity? I love my publicist work because I am a connector of people and believe in working with clients with a give-back philosophy. I have worked with NY Times Authors, CEOs, Celebrities, and Amazing Entrepreneurs.
That’s a good question; when the topic of self-improvement arrives, I think people tend to say YES. I want to continue to grow and develop. But fear of selfexploration and perceived time constraints hold them back.
A great recent example is Founder Marcy Miller of Pure Placid, www.pureplacid. com, who hired me as a publicist to launch a new signature store in the CNY region. We instantaneously connected because our missions overlapped – in her case, To Claim Your Calm, and in my case, To Awaken Your Amazing Potential. Our common ingredient is we both believe in Gratitude as a life practice
As a result, her store hosted my book launch, which was incredible, and custom created the “Awaken” candle, where we jointly infused the power of intention, self-empowerment, and calmness into the Awaken Candle. We donated 100 percent of the Awaken candle proceeds, over $1,000 from this night, to support the local community. We are now partnering together to host workshops. It’s a great example of how two women can unite to create and serve TOGETHER for a higher good. 10. What common misconceptions do people have about self-help and personal growth, and how do you address them in your work?
A good example is planting a flower to grow; one has to water the blossom, and the sun has to propel light. Well, what happens when you stop watering the flowers of your life? Or neglect to realize that you must water your mind, body, and spirit to foster your dreams. Self-discovery and personal growth are essential – to help us grow into our most magnificent, vibrant essence. As an award-winning author, what do you believe sets your writing apart from others in the self-help and personal development genre?
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 101
{ WOMEN OF UPSTATE & CNY } “I believe we have an innate ability to awaken to our incredible potential. But at times, life experiences prevent us from fully believing in the power of ourselves”
I believe in lifting each other versus one person dominating over another. My ability to connect with people and empower others is a natural gift. Also, to be multifaceted – a bestselling author, publicist, coach, and teacher. But overall, the predominant quality is encouraging others to lead and act from a space in their heart. I infuse a frequency of love and selfempowerment into all my books and an intention that the reader will absorb what they need on the journey of selfdiscovery. Can you tell us about any upcoming projects or books you have in the pipeline that readers can look forward to? There are many exciting projects. I am going on podcast shows, speaking to audiences, entrepreneurs, and businesses about the topic of Awaken to Your Amazing Potential. As a coach and mentor, I will continue to support entrepreneurs and writers on the road to success. Workshops - Awaken to Your Amazing Potential Workshops. Upcoming include Lake Placid (November 4th and 5th) and Skaneateles, NY (Thursday, November 16th) with Marcy Miller because we want to create community gatherings and a space of empowerment. In development is an Awaken to Your Amazing Potential Affirmation Card Deck with a leader in the mindfulness space, Renee Hagar-Smith, and a workbook that will support accelerated growth to Awaken your Amazing Potential. In 2024, I will launch a six-week program for entrepreneurs to support each other 102
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
and fine-tune our ability to manifest, create, remove blockages, and accelerate our growth. The focus will be on igniting Your Amazing Potential. Laura, you have a diverse background. How has your multifaceted career informed your approach to personal development and coaching? Working in corporate America as a leadership coach helped propel me forward because I could work with people from all walks of life and navigate many human resource challenges. My career in that arena also positioned me to take risks for happiness. And to enhance my communication skills, which serve me excellently as a national publicist. However, learning about myself through all the years propelled me to empower others through life lessons learned and practical experience. What do you find most fulfilling about your work, whether writing, coaching, or teaching? Like this magazine’s readership, the spotlighted people have incredible stories. I meet amazing individuals who impart their challenges and goals and want support. My role is to hold space for others to share their authentic truth. Watching them soar and grow brings me incredible fulfillment. In your opinion, what are the critical ingredients for someone to embark on a successful journey of self-discovery and personal growth? Commitment. It would help if you permitted time to explore thoughts, feelings, aspirations, and dreams – daily. Even fifteen minutes of self-care has known health benefits, and what we imagine, we can bring into reality.
Self-Exploration. Carving out time to sit with yourself or to walk with Who You Are is critical. Because at the end of the day, your best friend lives inside of you. It’s the part of you that knows your amazing potential and capabilities. Take a Chance for Happiness. Don’t let fear hold you back. You’ve been given this precious day; use it wisely, and who cares if yesterday wasn’t your best day? Today offers a world of possibilities. Finally, for those who may not be familiar with your work, who is Laura Ponticello in your own words, and what legacy do you hope to leave through your contributions to the world of personal development and coaching? My deepest desire is to leave a footprint on this planet with words of kindness, inspiring books, and community-building gatherings where others feel empowered. A legacy of hope - make an impact by empowering others, being a great storyteller, and a leader in helping others rise to their amazing potential. Also, I want to encourage others, as well as myself, to experience JOY. Bio - Laura Ponticello is a three-time bestselling and award-winning author, coach, creative entrepreneur, national publicist, and workshop leader on Awaken to Your Amazing Potential. Learn more at www. lauraponticello.com. Laura’s books are available on Amazon, and signed copies are on her website. Connect on Social Media and lauraponticello@ icloud.com
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 103
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
104
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ WOMEN OF UPSTATE & }CNY SHIFT+CONTROL { {WALKING WARRIOR } }
AN AWAKENING: MY PILGRIMAGE TO GHANA BY DR. SHANELLE R. DAWSON
November 2022, I went to Africa. It was probably one of the most anticipated excursions, I’ve ever embarked on. I really didn’t know what to expect but I knew it would be awesome. The flight was 10 hours, which was pretty much unbearable, however it was probably the smoothest flight I’ve encountered, and I’ve flown a lot; very smooth soaring. When we landed, the Africans greeted us with welcome home. I should have anticipated things to come but I didn’t. Walking into a foreign space and hearing welcome home was jarring especially for myself, being a descendent of enslaved Africans. It is a disservice to Ghana to articulate what I saw and heard daily. I do not have the words to describe the experience. The only way to truly understand this journey is to embark on it yourself. However, what I am willing to talk about is what I felt. Upon exiting the plane, I was nervous, excited, scared, happy, elated, apprehensive, and every other emotion, I really didn’t know what to anticipate. Being welcomed into the country was wonderful but being embraced by everyone was something I did not expect. Imagine going to a land where everyone looked like you, your parents, your grandmother, grandfather, aunts, uncles and cousins, everyone looked like family. I was silenced by the experience. We began our adventure dining at different restaurants, going to different villages, embarking on different adventures; wildlife preserves, forest,
museums, allow your imagination to run free, but nothing was as impactful as the Assin Manso Ancestral Slave River Park and the Cape Coast Castle. I had a chance to walk the path of my ancestors. It was the location that they boarded boats that would eventually take them to the slave castles. I walked that same path. I felt the ancestors surrounding me, guiding me, instructing me. I felt them encouraging me. I know their hands are on my back pushing me forward towards my destiny. The river walk was overwhelming, but words can’t express my reaction to the Cape Coast Castle. I stood where my ancestors stood. I stood on there broken, bloodied bodies and excrement. During the tour of Cape Coast Castle, one of the guides explained to our group that one of the dungeons had been excavated by archaeology and what they discovered was the sediment was that of enslaved Africans. The archeologists were able to identify DNA in the excrement. I think I tried to hold it together during most of my trip, but I remember being overcome and starting to cry.
was different. I am different. Traveling to Africa transformed me. A knew when I touched down stateside that I was no longer the same. I didn’t know how I would be received by my family, my friends, my loved ones. I didn’t know if they would notice the change. I didn’t know how they would handle my change. But I knew the change was obvious and I knew I would never go back to being the same person. I pray, I meditate, I believe in God. I am a very faithful servant. Additionally, I know the universe is working things out in my favor. There’s not a doubt in my mind. But what I learned on my journey to Africa is that my ancestors are standing with me. They are walking alongside me. They are guiding me. Their hands are on my back. My pilgrimage to Africa was my great awakening. And this great awakening prepared me for my life changing event, my strategic pivot!
The day had come for us to depart. I had mixed feelings. Honestly, I remember, at times trying to come up with a strategy for building a home in Ghana. But of course, I know my work is in America, my family is in America, my older children are in America. I knew I had to return but there was a longing in me that left me with the desire to remain. Nevertheless, this experience changed me. I knew without a doubt life would be different. I would be different. I ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 105
{ WOMEN OF UPSTATE & }CNY } { SHIFT+CONTROL
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“I was motivated by my father’s diagnosis of lung cancer in 2010. He reached out to the family, urging one of us to explore the storage business.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
What inspired you to enter the selfstorage industry, particularly in Colonie, NY? I was motivated by my father’s diagnosis of lung cancer in 2010. He reached out to the family, urging one of us to explore the storage business. Among three siblings, I was the only one interested in this opportunity. When our father passed away in 2015, my siblings expressed interest in selling the property. In 2021, my husband and I took the steps to acquire both the facility and property from my mother and siblings. Can you tell me about the history and background of your familyowned and operated business? My father purchased the piece of land at 296 Morris Road, Colonie NY Albany County in 1989, founded by our mother. At that time, he was a General Contractor running DePoalo & Son Bldg., Contractors, Inc. He constructed a 10,000-square-foot office building, with 5,000 square feet designated for professional office space on the top floor for his use. In time, the lower floor was filled with 5,000 square feet of climate-controlled storage units. Additionally, he added to the property warehouses and in 2007 built over 232+ self-storage units on the rest of the property. All three of us children worked for our father. My brother was a Construction Project Manager, my sister focused on estimating and I was trained to take on the role of a bookkeeper/office manager for multiple sub-contractors. This marked the beginning of cultivating young entrepreneurs. 108
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
How many years has your storage facility been in operation in Colonie, NY? The storage business officially commenced in 2007. It wasn’t until 2010 that I took the initiative to learn the intricacies of self-storage. At the time, I never envisioned it becoming my full-time pursuit.
Well, that’s easy. We provide three distinct types of self-storage options: climatecontrolled, humidity-controlled and non-climate units. We’re here to help customers figure out which unit suits their specific requirements. While we certainly offer suggestions, the final decision ultimately rests with the customer.
Can you explain the security measures you have in place to ensure the safety of customers’ belongings? Our completely gated facility boasts security cameras equipped with 23 fixed lenses and 6 highly sensitive audio-enable
Are there any expansion plans or new services you’re considering for the future of your storage facility? We do have room for expansion, and we’ve already initiated the process. Recently, we acquired four (4) new 10x20x9 fully galvanized, portable self-storage units. Our intention is to continue this practice on an annual basis, God willing.
lens cameras strategically positioned throughout. These top-of-the-line cameras offer accessibility through our IPhones, ensuring easy and convenient viewing. Suffice it to say, every corner is meticulously covered, though for security reasons, specifics shall remain undisclosed. What steps do you take to protect against climate-related damage, like extreme temperatures or humidity?
Do you offer any unique features or services that set you apart from other storage providers in Colonie? I take pride in providing a personalized touch to our service. When you call, you’ll speak directly to me, the person who knows our company best. Having been voted with the “Best Personality” in high school, I truly enjoy connecting with people, and I believe they feel the same. Understanding the unique situations our customers face is crucial. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, an international move for work, or transitioning a relative into a nursing home, I’m here to make the process as smooth as possible. In addition to oneon-one interactions, I offer the option of text messaging, providing my personal cell phone number for easy access. I find
LET’S
INTRODUCE YOU TO ALTERNATIVE SELF STORAGE ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 109
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
110
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL { WOMEN OF UPSTATE & }CNY }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“It wasn’t until 2010 that I took the initiative to learn the intricacies of self-storage. At the time, I never envisioned it becoming my full-time pursuit.”
that people appreciate the convenience and promptness of this communication method. If I happen to miss a call, rest assured, I’ll return it promptly. Dealing directly with the owner is something our customers value. Moreover, when a unit is vacated, we take the extra step of repainting if necessary and using a special peppermint oil for pest control. This not only ensures cleanliness but also leaves a pleasant scent. Can you describe the various storage unit sizes and types available at your facility? We offer a range of unit sizes, although availability is currently limited. Our units start as compact as 5x5x9 and extend to as spacious as 12x30x10 for warehouse space. As mentioned earlier, we provide options for climate, humidity and nonclimate units. Additionally, we’re excited to announce the availability of 5000 sq. ft. of office space starting in April 2024. This exceptional office space combines both comfort and functionality, all within a secure suburban setting --a vital feature in today’s world. Nestled amidst the serene embrace of nature, it enjoys convenient access within a 2 mile radius of I-890 (Schenectady/Rotterdam), Route 5 (Colonie), Route 155 (Albany), and Route 20 (Guilderland). This space can be found on LoopNet. https:// loopnet.com/Listing/296-Morris-RdSchenectady-NY/29395107 How do you handle pest control to safeguard stored items? First and foremost, we take great care in addressing any situation that arises, and I can confidently say it’s never been an issue. Currently we use a
specialized peppermint spray for pest control. Peppermint has proven to be a highly effective natural deterrent against mice due to their reliance on scent over vision. Their sense of smell is strong, while their vision is weak. Peppermint’s potent menthol compound, which irritates their nasal passages, makes it a reliable deterrent. We conduct routine inspections to spot any signs of pest activity and promptly seal any potential entry points like cracks or gaps.
coverage they are completely responsible for any loss or damage to their property including but not limited to mold, vermin, water damage, fire/smoke, tornado/hurricane, earthquake, lightning/ hail, and burglary.
Additionally, we advise our customers to use sealed containers to safeguard their belongings and discourage pests. We discourage the use of cardboard boxes, as they can be easily chewed through, especially for perishable items. Placing scented dryer sheets in the units also acts as an extra deterrent due to pests’ heightened sense of smell. To complement these efforts, strategically placed traps are monitored. Lastly, we uphold a clean environment through regular sweeping, mopping, and debris removal.
**They understand that if they have a homeowner’s or renter’s insurance policy it may exclude coverage for their goods stored away from their primary residence or provide only limited coverage for these items.
What’s your policy regarding insurance coverage for stored items, and do you offer any insurance options? As for insurance, we offer SafeStor Tenant Insurance. This insurance covers tornado, smoke, hurricane, leaking water, earthquake, explosion, wind, fire, hail, burglary, lightning, & vermin. Our tenants have the option to buy insurance or use their own homeowners/renters insurance policy. But if they choose not to get insurance they will need to sign off & understand the following: **They understand that by declining
**They understand that the storage facility is not responsible for loss or damage to their stored goods and agree to hold our storage facility, Alternative Self Storage, harmless.
Are there any restrictions on the types of items or materials that can be stored in your units? We specify in our contract the following: Tenants shall have access to the rental space only for the purpose of storing and removing property stored in that rental space. The rental space shall not be used for residential or operation of a business. Tenant agrees not to store any hazardous materials, hazardous substance, hazardous waste, solid waste, toxic chemicals, illegal goods, explosives, highly flammable materials, rubber tires, perishable foods, or any other goods that may cause danger or damage to the rental space. Tenant agrees not to store any living creature or organism, or any dead animal or other carcass. Tenant agrees that personal property and rental space shall not be used for any unlawful purpose. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 111
{ WOMEN OF UPSTATE & CNY }
“First and foremost, we take great care in addressing any situation that arises, and I can confidently say it’s never been an issue.” What is your policy regarding access hours for customers to their storage units? We believe in providing our customers with round-the-clock, 24/7 access, as it’s only fair. I would expect nothing less when it comes to having unrestricted access to my own belongings. Do you offer any promotions or discounts for long-term or returning customers? We do offer promotions and discounted rates for our long-term or returning customers. Could you provide information on your rental agreements, including terms and payment options? Payment of rent is due on or before the due date. An additional $15 late fee will 112
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
be charged if payment is not received five (5) days after the due date; another $15 late fee will be charged if payment is not received fifteen (15) days after the due date. A $50 lien processing fee will also be charged when the rent is thirty (30) days late. Nonpayment of rent within six (3) days of the due date, Tenant will be denied access to their storage unit and management will place an overlock on the unit. Management will remove the overlock during business hours or the next business day after the full payment of rent is applied. We prefer all our customers to pay with a credit card, all major credit cards are accepted. We also take debit card payments, E-checks, personal or business checks & of course we take cash. How do customers typically contact
you for inquiries, reservations, or assistance? Our customers can reach us in many different ways. Office: 518-356-4952 Cell: 518-378-4707 Website: www.alternativeselfstorageinc.com, Email: info@alternativeselfstorageinc.com, Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ AlternativeStorage, Instagram: alternativeselfstorage
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 113
LET’S
INTRODUCE LANGAN WELLNESS
“What started as a journey of self healing and discovery has now become a life-long devotion to help others reach their fullest potential and activate the keys to total mind-body wellness and highest quality of life.My brand’s purpose is to empower individuals to unearth their innate potential. ”
114
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ WOMEN OF UPSTATE & }CNY } { SHIFT+CONTROL
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“The goal of yoga is to purify the mind and body of anything weighing it down or holding it back - whether that’s negative self-talk, bad habits, improper diet, etc. - to get the mind and body unified and working at their optimal level.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Can you introduce Langan Wellness and tell us a little bit about your background and how you got started in the wellness industry? What started as a journey of self healing and discovery has now become a lifelong devotion to help others reach their fullest potential and activate the keys to total mind-body wellness and highest quality of life. After over a decade and a half working on understanding the integral roles of mentality, physicality, emotion and spirituality on her own wellness, Sonya has realized her role as a healer and educator to assist others on their own journey. Sonya believes in cultivating health in every aspect of life beyond just standard nutrition and fitness. When all areas are nourished, we get something truly special - wellness. It is this belief in living wholly in each facet of life that Sonya passionately pursues and shares with others. A lifetime of studying and professionally performing as a tap dancer and ballerina combined with training in a traditional Okinawan karate dojo taught Sonya the beauty of balancing the different natures within herself and how important it is to continuously work to refine and improve. Combined with an endless love of religion and spirituality and devotion to our mother Earth, Sonya felt the constant drive to be a positive force for change, and thus Langan Wellness was born. Now known as Yogini Shakti in practice,
she trains new yoga teachers through her school, Firebird Yoga, and has designed a metaphysical wellness and practice line of tools, apparel, jewelry, and more for the Earthsong Boutique. Yogini is a devoted practitioner of spirituality and religion in an eclectic combination of Wicca, Buddhism, Yoga, and ancient earth-centered tribal teachings and rituals. Her spiritual education includes trainings from the Namgyal Monastery, the Love Serve Remember foundation, and private gurus.
Currently residing in Upstate New York, Sonya is a professor of Kinesiology at SUNY Cortland, as well as a practicing yoga and wellness instructor. Sonya has received a Bachelor’s of Science in Kinesiology concentrating in Exercise Science from SUNY Cortland, a Master’s of Science in Applied Clinical Nutrition from New York Chiropractic College, and is currently pursuing a PhD in Kinesiology with a heavy focus on yogic science. She currently holds certifications as a 500 Hour Yoga Teacher through the
Yoga Alliance, mindfulness coaching, Ayurvedic nutrition, and is a Reiki Practitioner. What is the main mission and goal behind Langan Wellness? The mission of Langan Wellness is to educate, empower, and enable all who come to us to live their healthiest, most authentic lives. Everyone is walking a different path, and they are all sacred, unique, and valid. It is not our job to judge or to push our own beliefs on others, but to provide a safe space for them to explore what matters most to them, experiment in finding their own way, and knowing that there is Satsang, or likeminded, sacred community, all around them for support. What specific areas of expertise does Langan Wellness offer to its clients? Yogini is an expert in holistic wellness, which means looking at the mind, body, and spirit to understand each individual as a unique being made up of moments, convictions, habits, and practices. Just as each person is unique, each program offered by Langan Wellness tailors wellness plans to the needs of the individual. No two programs we have ever offered are the same, and never will be. We get to know the specific goals and needs of the clients and work individually with them to combine our knowledge of holistic wellness and yogic sciences to find precisely the right path to get each client back to total wellness, increase vitality, and living a happier, more ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 115
{ SHIFT+CONTROL { WOMEN OF UPSTATE & }CNY } “Rochester is an area that we have been working into for the past two years - but Yogini is actually based in Cortland, New York.”
Can you explain how yoga, meditation, and Reiki are integrated into your wellness practices to provide balance and growth? Yoga practice, of which meditation is an element, is about creating the “perfect” body - but not how we think of the “perfect” body in the west. The goal of yoga is to purify the mind and body of anything weighing it down or holding it back - whether that’s negative self-talk, bad habits, improper diet, etc. - to get the mind and body unified and working at their optimal level. Everyone is capable of the yoga-perfect body, and even before it is achieved, simply the act of working towards it improves overall health. Reiki, an energetic practice that Yogini likes to call “a massage for the soul” helps to realign energetic points in the body and restore the natural rhythm of prana, or vital life force, so the body can heal and flourish. By practicing yoga and receiving reiki treatments when necessary, we are able to shed ourselves of the pieces of our lives that no longer serve us, enabling us to live holistically, or in balance with who we are. Nutrition is often a key component of overall wellness. How does Langan Wellness incorporate nutrition into its programs? Yogini Shakti has a masters degree in Applied Clinical Nutrition and thousands of hours in clinical practice. She can assist clients with making nutritional changes based on what she observes and recommends. There are no strict diets, no necessary supplements, and certainly no giving up of favorite foods or starving oneself. Food is nourishment for the body, and medicine when used 116
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
appropriately. Yogini educates clients on what they are eating and finding the reasons behind why they follow eating patterns. And, if they choose to make changes, she walks with them step by step to make small changes that add up to big transformations. Your motto is “True change is within. Leave the outside as it is.” Can you elaborate on the significance of this motto in your approach to wellness? We must want to achieve change for ourselves, not for others. If our motivation is external, then it will surely fade over time. But when a desire comes from deep inside, it is accompanied by burning passion, by boundless confidence, and by true excitement at the prospect. It is this change that will truly impact life. And even as we change and grow from within, that effect ripples outward into the other aspects of our life, whereas the opposite direction is not true. All we are responsible for is ourselves - not other people, not their thoughts, their emotions, their actions, reactions, none of it - all we can do is work on ourselves. As Ram Dass wisely said, if I want to make things better for you, I will work on myself; if you want to make things better for me, you will work on yourself. All I can do is work on myself, and all you can do is work on yourself. But imagine the world when we all do that inner work together! What sets Langan Wellness apart from other wellness centers or practices in the Rochester area? Langan Wellness offers a multitude of programs that other wellness places just don’t have the combination of.
Yogini’s background is extensive and extraordinarily varied, her education is a combination of programs that are not traditionally brought together, her innate intuition and empathy not gifted to all, and her mastery of client care not commonly found. There is only one Yogini Shakti, and only she can do what she does. There is no replacement for her wisdom and teachings. There is no replicating her ability to heal. She is not a studio owner, or a wellness center administrator - she is a mentor. A teacher. She is not fixing clients that come to her. All she is doing is walking with them through their path, and waking them up to their own ability to heal and thrive. How wide of a reach does Langan Wellness have within the local community, and have you expanded your services beyond Rochester? Rochester is an area that we have been working into for the past two years - but Yogini is actually based in Cortland, New York. However, she is routinely invited back to teach outside of Cortland to places such as SUNY Cortland, to nudist resorts in the Finger Lakes, to Syracuse, into the Catskills and Howe Caverns, Albany, Saratoga, and as far east as Cape Cod. She has also been invited to teach veterans, mental health classes, and specialized yoga training for the police force and firefighters. One of our greatest aspects is that we do so much private work. Many times an individual or couple, a group, or an organization will seek out her services privately, either in person or online. Yogini has made it so that if you need her, she can be there. Her goal is to assist as many people as
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 117
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
118
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ WOMEN OF UPSTATE & }CNY } { SHIFT+CONTROL “All we are responsible for is ourselves - not other people, not their thoughts, their emotions, their actions, reactions, none of it - all we can do is work on ourselves.”
possible in her lifetime. Can you share some success stories or testimonials from clients who have benefited from Langan Wellness services? While we are not bound by HIPAA, we do follow its protocol to protect the privacy of our clients, and so we will not be sharing direct quotes from clients without their express permission. However, Yogini routinely is stopped at stores or walking because people can feel her energy, and want to speak with her or hug her (which she happily complies with!). There was once a woman who was going through the loss of her father, who felt she was failing her daughter in her depression, who met Yogini by chance one morning after an outside yoga class. Yogini sat with her while she cried and admitted she didn’t know why she felt the need to tell Yogini these things, but Yogini offered her comfort and counsel regardless. This woman enrolled in mindfulness counseling and met with Yogini weekly, during which time Yogini assisted her in moving through her grief and repairing relations with her daughter. The two are still living locally, and now when Yogini runs into them, they are always smiling. There is another gentleman who retired from the police force after spending the majority of his career undercover to catch truly horrible people and seeing what was done to their victims. He came to Yogini by what he called a “change meeting, but one he felt was meant to happen.” His body had absorbed the stress and anguish of his years on the force, leaving a young man riddled with arthritis, PTSD, muscle knots, tension, limited mobility and a constant state of stress. Yogini worked with him one on one
in Yin yoga, which is renowned for its healing effects on the nervous system, and little by little he regained not only the use of his body, but also his mind. He also learned enough about Yin that he is confident practicing on his own, and only checks in with Yogini occasionally for questions. Truly, Yogini’s goal is to empower her clients so they can treat themselves. It isn’t that she does not want to work with them, but she also feels that if she’s not teaching them to understand and practice the healing work themselves, she is not truly teaching them to heal. For someone looking to start their wellness journey, how can they begin with Langan Wellness? What should they expect from their first visit or session? We recommend having a consultation, so we can get to know you and your goals. There is never a charge for consultations. We will give you an intake to fill out that tells us about your lifestyle, your eating habits, and other pertinent information about your health should you choose to share it with us, and then Yogini will speak with you in a one on one private consultation to understand what it is you need, some of it you may not even realize you’re in need of. Don’t worry - this is what she does! You’ll be in good hands. From that point, she will recommend options for you to begin your journey. You do not have to accept all or even any of them! This is your journey. If at the end of your consultation, Yogini Shakti and Langan Wellness don’t feel like a good fit for you, she will help you to find the right place for you. Do you offer any group classes or workshops that are open to the public,
and if so, what types of topics are covered? Yogini Shakti structures her offerings with the cycle of nature. During the warmer months, there are many yoga classes available - everything from standing group classes in the shaded grass of the park, to special yoga and meditation classes at a private waterfall. As the wheel turns towards the cooler, darker months, yoga is still practiced, but in honor of the moon more than the sun. There is also a heavier emphasis on meditation, inner work, and growing the spirit. All classes listed on our website and social medias are open to the public, and thanks to very generous town and city funding, many of them are free. She also hosts online mini workshops that are open to all interested. This winter’s schedule for in person talks and retreats is not yet set, but all programs will always be listed online. In addition to the physical and mental aspects of wellness, does Langan Wellness emphasize spiritual well-being? If so, how is this incorporated into your programs? Spirituality is a deeply personal endeavour. Some people flourish in it. Some people avoid it. There is an inherent amount of spirituality in all of Langan Wellness’ offerings, as it is one of the three aspects of holism. However, it is important to remember the difference between spirituality and religion! A religion is an organized structure of beliefs with set boundaries and fixed practices. Spirituality is, in Yogini’s words, how one believes they ought to live. Is that harmony with the seas and walking barefoot in the forest for some? Sure. Is it saying a prayer to the money gods before the lottery drawing? Also sure. It’s as unique and free formed as thoughts themselves. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 119
{ SHIFT+CONTROL { WOMEN OF UPSTATE & }CNY } “Yogini educates clients on what they are eating and finding the reasons behind why they follow eating patterns.”
prayer to the money gods before the lottery drawing? Also sure. It’s as unique and free formed as thoughts themselves. So, yes, there is spirituality woven into every piece of Langan Wellness. That never changes. What does change is the view of the client who sees it, and what they choose to take away from it. It may simply be a firmer understanding for ones boundaries, or it may be a total surrendering to Atman. The choice is always yours, and we never push past anyone’s comfort zones. Can you provide some insights into the variety of wellness services and programs available at Langan Wellness? The short answer is that we offer things that make you feel good. Whole, and refreshed, and better than when you arrived. There is never judgment or competition. There are never expectations. In fact, over 90% of Yogini’s yoga students took their very first class with her. All of her reiki and mindfulness clients had never even heard of these practices before starting with her. The true precious value of Langan Wellness is that it is a safe space for all, no matter where they are on their journey. That said, we have come to specialize in beginners! There is no experience needed, no knowledge necessary, honestly you don’t even really need to have much of an idea what you’re doing besides knowing that you want to give yourself these positive experiences. Langan Wellness is satsang. We all lift each other up. No matter which path you choose, you will find spiritual family. Are there any upcoming events, promotions, or new offerings that readers should be aware of? Truth be told, Yogini’s one flaw is being the stereotypical go-with-the-flow hippie, 120
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
and a lot of times gets invited to events a few weeks or even days before it happens! She is committed to appearances at the Rochest Wine, Women and Shopping day November 18th, The Saratoga Springs Mind Body Soul Expo on December 9th, and the New Year, New You event in Rochester on January 21 of next year. Through the winter and spring, she brings back more online yoga and meditation classes, opens more availability for online mindfulness coaching, and takes more clients for divination readings - all of which, of course, listed on our webpage. New collections are also debuting throughout the holiday season in her online and inperson metaphysical boutique, Earthsong. What is the long-term vision for Langan Wellness, and how do you plan to continue making a positive impact on the community? Long-Term, Yogini plans to do research on yogic sciences and bring to light their medical and lifestyle implications, hoping to make it more mainstream in Western Medicine. She has plans to write books and publish her research findings to assist the scientific community in accepting these ancient traditions. During this time, she intends to open a full wellness institute where she can continue her research alongside teaching classes and offering healings, bringing in graduates of her Firebird Yoga School to teach as well, and offer a variety of healing modalities like reiki, chiropractic, massage, sound bathing, acupuncture, tai chi, crystal bathing, and retreats for people to gather in harmony and heal. Can you share some tips or advice for our readers on how they can start improving their overall wellness, even if
they’re not yet ready to visit a wellness center? All of the wisdom you need is inside you. The answer to every question, the direction to every path. You mind, body, and spirit already know. The problem is we forget to listen to them sometimes. If you want to make a change, sit with yourself in meditation, or go for a walk, listen to some music - whatever it is that chills you out - and just ask yourself, “what can I do to change?” Maybe you’ll hear “drink more water,” or “go to bed earlier!” It doesn’t have to be this life-altering realization. Big changes are made with small steps. Drinking more water is doable. Going to bed earlier is doable. Conquer those steps, then ask your intuition, “okay, what’s next?” You can get so far just by listening to your own heart of hearts. Where a mentor comes in is when you lose the path and don’t know which way to turn anymore. And remember - your wellness mentor doesn’t need to be permanent. Their role may only last a week, and then they are not needed anymore. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it Lastly, where can our readers find more information about Langan Wellness and how can they get in touch with you to start their wellness journey? Yogini Shakti and her apprentices are always within reach! The easiest way to reach her would be to go to her website and fill out the contact form. She responds in under a day, unless she’s at a retreat. You can also send her messages on Facebook (facebook.com/ langanwellness), Instagram (@yogini. shakti) or TikTok (@yogini_shakti). She is always open to new friends and any questions you may have.
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 121
{ WOMEN OF UPSTATE & CNY }
“The mission of Langan Wellness is to educate, empower, and enable all who come to us to live their healthiest, most authentic lives.” 122
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
124
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 125
G E NES EO JA M KI TC HE N
presents
A tribute to
JONI MITCHELL NOV 4TH
Featuring
7:00 PM
WITH SPECIAL MUSICAL GUESTS SUE TIERNEY EMMA TYME THERESE LOTT KELLY IZZO SHAPIRO BENJAMIN SHERIDAN
AND LIVE PAINTING ON STAGE BY CORAH LOROW
AT THE GENESEO RIVIERA THEATER Live from
SATURDAY 11/4/23
7PM
$ 2 0 A DVA N C E | $ 2 5 AT T H E D O O R
D O O R S AT 6 : 1 5
TICKETS
A tribute to
JONI MITCHELL NOV 10TH
Featuring
7:30 PM
WITH SPECIAL MUSICAL GUESTS THOMAS WARFIELD TEENA GUARNERE THERESE LOTT KELLY IZZO SHAPIRO BENJAMIN SHERIDAN SUE TIERNEY
AND LIVE PAINTING ON STAGE BY LORI MULLIGAN
FRIDAY 11/10/23
TICKETS $25
THE THEATER AT INNOVATION SQUARE
TICKETS AVAILABLE ONLINE AT
1 3 1 C h e s t n u t S t, R o c h e s t e r , N Y 1 4 6 0 4
w w w .t h e a t e r a i s . c o m / b o x o f f i c e
Live from
KIM IS
MANIFESTING BY KIM FISHER
“In the journey of entrepreneurship, waiting for success can often feel like an excruciatingly long and arduous process. It’s a period filled with uncertainty, self-doubt, and the nagging question of whether your hard work will ever pay off. ”
128
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ {KIM IS MANIFESTING MINUTES MATTER } }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Success is not solely defined by the end result but also by the personal and professional growth you experience along the way.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
In the journey of entrepreneurship, waiting for success can often feel like an excruciatingly long and arduous process. It’s a period filled with uncertainty, self-doubt, and the nagging question of whether your hard work will ever pay off. The tension of waiting for success can be both mentally and emotionally draining, but it’s also a crucible that can forge your inner strength and resilience. In this article, we’ll explore how you can empower yourself during this challenging phase of your entrepreneurial journey. 1. Embrace the Unknown Success rarely adheres to a linear path, and the uncertainty of the unknown can be daunting. However, it’s essential to shift your perspective and see this uncertainty as an opportunity rather than a hindrance. The unknown is where creativity and innovation thrive. It’s where you have the freedom to explore new avenues, experiment with ideas, and adapt to changing circumstances. Instead of fearing the unknown, embrace it as a canvas upon which you can paint your unique entrepreneurial vision. 2. Set Realistic Expectations One of the most significant sources of tension while waiting for success is unrealistic expectations. Many entrepreneurs expect instant gratification and quick results. However, building a successful business takes time, often years of dedicated effort. By setting realistic expectations and understanding
that success is a long-term journey, you can alleviate some of the impatience and anxiety that comes with waiting. 3. Focus on Growth, Not Just Outcomes Success is not solely defined by the end result but also by the personal and professional growth you experience along the way. The tension of waiting can be an opportunity for self-improvement.
Use this time to acquire new skills, expand your knowledge, and build a strong foundation for your business. By shifting your focus from outcomes to personal growth, you can derive a sense of fulfillment from the journey itself. 4. Develop Resilience Waiting for success can test your resilience. There will be setbacks, failures, and moments when you question your choices. However, it’s in these moments
of adversity that your true strength emerges. Cultivate resilience by learning to bounce back from disappointments and setbacks. Understand that failure is not a destination but a stepping stone toward success. Each setback brings valuable lessons that can propel you forward when the tide turns. 5. Celebrate Small Wins While waiting for the big breakthrough, don’t forget to acknowledge and celebrate the small victories along the way. These small wins are not insignificant; they are the building blocks of success. Whether it’s acquiring your first customer, launching a new product, or achieving a milestone, celebrating these achievements can provide a much-needed morale boost during the waiting period. 6. Seek Support and Mentorship Entrepreneurship can be a solitary journey, but you don’t have to go it alone. Seek out a support system of like-minded individuals who can empathize with your struggles and offer guidance. Mentorship can be especially valuable during this phase. Learning from someone who has walked a similar path can provide insights and perspective that can ease the tension of waiting. 7. Practice Patience Patience is a virtue, especially in entrepreneurship. Waiting for success ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 129
{ KIM IS MANIFESTING }
“Waiting for success in entrepreneurship can be a trying experience, but it’s also a transformative one.” requires the ability to persevere in the face of uncertainty. Understand that success is not always immediate, and the most significant breakthroughs often come when you least expect them. Patience is not passive; it’s an active choice to trust the process and continue moving forward, even when the destination seems distant. 8. Visualize Your Success Visualization is a powerful tool that can help you stay motivated during the waiting period. Take time each day to envision your success. Imagine the outcome you desire, the impact you want to make, and the life you want to lead as a successful entrepreneur. Visualization can keep your goals at the forefront of your mind, making the waiting process feel purposeful 130
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
and intentional. 9. Stay Adaptable In the dynamic world of entrepreneurship, adaptability is a crucial trait. While you wait for success, be prepared to pivot and adjust your strategies as needed. Market conditions, consumer preferences, and industry trends can change rapidly. By staying adaptable, you can navigate through uncertainty with greater ease and increase your chances of eventual success. 10. Trust Yourself Ultimately, the tension of waiting for success is a test of your self-belief. Trust in your abilities, your vision, and your commitment to your entrepreneurial journey. Self-doubt is a natural part of the process, but don’t let it overshadow
your self-confidence. Believe in yourself, your resilience, and your capacity to overcome challenges. Conclusion Waiting for success in entrepreneurship can be a trying experience, but it’s also a transformative one. It’s during this period of tension and uncertainty that you have the opportunity to empower yourself, build resilience, and grow as both an entrepreneur and an individual. Embrace the journey, set realistic expectations, and focus on personal growth. Remember that success is not just an endpoint but a continuous process of evolution. By empowering yourself through the waiting period, you’ll be better prepared to seize success when it finally arrives on your entrepreneurial path.
DEFINING LONGEVITY Longevity: A Global Pursuit. Insights from Blue Zones BY LISA IRELAND
“In a recent conversation, one of my colleagues brought up the topic of Blue Zones. These areas with high concentrations of centenarians and people that age without succumbing to agerelated illnesses were first identified by Gianni Pes and Michel Poulain and then further developed by Dan Buettner. “
132
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ DEFINING LONGEVITY { SHIFT+CONTROL } }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Addressing complex issues like aging requires a multifaceted approach that encompasses various aspects of human activity.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
In a recent conversation, one of my colleagues brought up the topic of Blue Zones. These areas with high concentrations of centenarians and people that age without succumbing to age-related illnesses were first identified by Gianni Pes and Michel Poulain and then further developed by Dan Buettner. This discussion prompted me to investigate how longevity and aging look in various corners of the globe. How do people worldwide support their health, and achieve longevity? And how can we incorporate their experiences to improve our own well-being?
the necessity of addressing health concerns we will all face as we age. So, what do global insights into longevity offer us? Let’s look at blue zones, where people live the longest and healthiest lives. It all began with Gianni Pes and Michel Poulain identifying Sardinia as the region with the biggest concentration of male centenarians. Pes and Poulain marked Sardinian villages with higher longevity and referred to them as the blue zones. Building on their research, Dan Buettner highlighted other geographies
Aggregating and analyzing experiences, knowledge, and information from different geographies underpin the efforts of researchers and longevity care professionals. Here at the Longevity Science Foundation (LSF), we pursue longer and healthier lifespans for humanity by funding early-stage aging research. We are driven by a universal desire to live and age free of age-associated illnesses. This calling takes on even higher importance when viewed through the prism of the approaching silver tsunami and its accompanying challenges. First, let’s set the stage. The aging question is becoming a global concern due to two defining trends of the coming decades: longer life expectancy and reduced childbirth rates. UN projections indicate that by 2100, the world’s median age will be 42; by 2073, the share of people over 65 will surpass that of those under 15 for the first time. The World Health Organization predicts a doubling of the population over 60 from 11% in 2000 to 22% by 2050, with Asia, Latin America, Europe, and North America reaching median ages that fall between 40 and 46. These statistics highlight the impending silver tsunami and underscore
of male centenarians. - Sardinia, Italy: a mountainous region within Italy’s island of Sardinia is home to the world’s highest concentration of male centenarians. - Ikaria, Greece: a small island in the Aegean Sea hosts a population with the world’s lowest rates of dementia and one of the lowest rates of middle-age mortality. - Okinawa, Japan: with a remarkably high number of centenarians, Okinawa’s Females over 70 are the longest-lived population in the world. Studying these populations, we can identify key factors contributing to longevity, some of which we’ve previously discussed in one of my earlier articles (prioritizing physical health and fitness, adopting healthy eating habits, ensuring restful sleep, nurturing social connections, and living purposefully). Here are some of the takeaways from looking at blue zones: - Purposeful Existence. Referred to as “Ikigai” (the reason for being) by Okinawans, a sense of meaning to one’s life is known to boost both life expectancy and life quality.
with extreme longevity, expanding the term “blue zones.” Let’s take a closer look at these places: - Loma Linda, California: a community of roughly 25,000 (a third of whom are Seventh-day Adventists) has, on average, a life expectancy ten years longer than that of their compatriots from other parts of the US. - Nicoya Peninsula, Costa Rica: located on the Pacific Coast of Costa Rica, the area has the second-highest concentration
- Taking a Pause. Blue zone residents effectively downregulate their stress levels through various practices such as midday naps, prayers, or taking moments to remember and honor their ancestors (as seen in the case of Okigawans). - A Sense of Belonging and Spirituality. Being an active part of a faith-based community benefits longevity, as suggested by interviews of centenarians conducted by Dan Buettner. - Putting Family First. Committing to a life partner is a proven way of increasing ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 133
{ DEFINING LONGEVITY }
“So, what do global insights into longevity offer us? Let’s look at blue zones, where people live the longest and healthiest lives.” one’s life expectancy. On top of that, Dan’s findings suggest that living in proximity to other generations of your family could also contribute to human longevity. - Healthy Eating. With the prevalence of craving-provoking food in our society, the significance of maintaining a healthy eating habit cannot be understated. Dr. Andrea Maier, our esteemed Scientific Advisor from the National University of Singapore, specifically emphasizes this issue as one of the common pitfalls of Western society, which is largely avoided in blue zones. Drawing from her medical expertise, Dr. Maier suggests that we should aim to stop eating once we feel full, learning from experience of people in these longevity regions. Additionally, intermittent fasting appears to be another influential factor contributing to the longevity of blue zone residents, with confirmed benefits for both lifespan and healthspan. - The Right Crowd. Research indicates that certain habits can exhibit contagious behavior. Smoking, loneliness, and 134
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
unhealthy eating patterns can spread through social circles. It is, therefore, worthwhile to become mindful of such tendencies and help your friends align with your own pursuit of healthy aging. - Genes and epigenetics. Dr. Nir Barzilai, our colleague from the Healthy Longevity Medicine Society, emphasizes that centenarians in blue zones proactively optimize their environments for longer and healthier lives. Their lifestyle choices directly impact gene expression and, when combined with already favorable genetic makeup, contribute significantly to their remarkable longevity. - Movement. Even small amounts of regular physical activity (such as cleaning or walking) increase lifespans in older adults. Dr. Maier pinpoints a shortfall in how we treat seniors in the Western world: when someone is sick, people are often overly helpful, offering assistance with small tasks such as shopping or bringing food. Despite the well-intentioned nature of our actions, we can inadvertently take away the autonomy of our older population,
depriving them of their chance to stay active and independent. In contrast, centenarians in blue zones remain actively involved in some form of physical labor, which in turn contributes to their vitality. Addressing complex issues like aging requires a multifaceted approach that encompasses various aspects of human activity. Aging drives our commitment to support and fund early-stage aging research. While we work on identifying and supporting promising research initiatives, you can take charge of your personal longevity journey by optimizing your health today. All of us can embrace a blue zone approach to life drawing inspiration from the experiences of centenarians and older populations worldwide . By making informed lifestyle choices and inspiring others, we have the power to create our own blue zones and promote healthy aging within our communities. Join us in funding longevity science and make an effort to prioritize your well-being. Together, we can foster a healthier and longer life for all.
{ {{ONE TOUGH SHIFT+CONTROL SHE SHE HUSTLES HUSTLESMOTHER TALKS TALKS}} } }
10 THINGS I LEARNED FROM MY SON’S HOSPITAL STAY! BY CHRISTINE PIACENTINO
One Tough Mother is back. Wow, is it October? Oh, yeah, I spent the month of September in the Hospital with my son. In writing this column, I hope to help readers cope with caring for a loved one or dealing with a rare disease. My son Jon will turn 30 this month. He has never had an overnight hospital stay. So, twenty days in the ICU were full of anxiety on his part and mine. Jon was diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy when he was 4. Duchenne muscular dystrophy is a genetic disorder characterized by progressive muscle loss. It is a multi-systemic condition affecting many parts of the body, which results in the deterioration of the skeletal, cardiac (heart), and pulmonary (lung) muscles. Duchenne affects approximately 1 out of every 5,000 live male births. About 20,000 children are diagnosed with Duchenne globally each year. Because the Duchenne gene is found on the X chromosome, it primarily affects males, while females are typically carriers. However, some females can manifest varying ranges of physical symptoms of Duchenne and are therefore called manifesting carriers. Spending 25 days in the hospital, starting in the Emergency Department to being admitted to a hospital floor and ending up in the ICU, was an eye-opening experience and one that I wish to never repeat for a long, long time. However, I am grateful for the education I sought to provide 140
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
my son with the best possible care. After this experience, I fear for anyone who does not advocate or educate themselves on the standard of care for the disease they are dealing with. I should note that I do not have formal medical training. I am just a mom who knows my son and how Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy affects him. Duchenne is insidious. The patients are stable until a small
swallowing problem. This began the entire odyssey of spending the month of September in the hospital. Here are the ten things I learned: 1.Simple healthcare assessment is no longer performed. Providers immediately do the most severe thing without first ruling out the simple and obvious things. My son had a case of Thrush in his mouth and throat. The thrush was most likely the cause of the swallowing issue. He should have been treated and sent home for monitoring. Instead, he was sent to the ER and admitted to the hospital. 2. If going to the Emergency Room, you may very well be treated in the hallway. Hospitals are overburdened, ERs are crazy places, and most patients are treated in the hallway. Jon spent the night in the hallway before being placed in an ER Room and moved to a hospital floor room. They needed help finding a floor room.
minor thing can seriously affect their health and become unstable rapidly. Not all issues are related to Duchenne MD; sometimes, typical problems that can affect anyone are overlooked. I’m left questioning what happened to performing a standard assessment of the root cause and not jumping to the conclusion that because a patient has a rare disease, the rare disease causes it. Let me explain. My son started with bowel issues that turned into a
3. Find out how often a blood draw or fluid line will be pushed through an IV. If it’s more than two times, request a PIC line if necessary. Patients with Rare diseases can rarely sustain multiple blood draws and fluid delivery from a single IV. My son had butterfly IVs in both hands, feet, and arms. They could not obtain enough blood for testing. It wasn’t until he was moved from the floor to the ICU five days after entering the hospital that a PIC line was installed.
{ ONE TOUGH MOTHER }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 141
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
142
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
ONEBUSINESS TOUGH MOTHER MOTHER }} } { LOCAL SPOTLIGHT {{ ONE TOUGH “Hospitals are overburdened, ERs are crazy places, and most patients are treated in the hallway.”
4. It is acceptable and necessary to advise the doctors providing treatment to consult with experts in the specialty and the rare condition you are dealing with. Doctors sometimes have huge egos he had to be put under anesthesia. Anesthesia in Duchenne is very serious. I asked that the doctor consult with my son’s Pulmonologist. When we went to the surgery room. I asked the anesthesiologist if the pulmonologist was consulted. The anesthesiologist looked at me like I had ten heads. The doctor finally pulled up my son’s chart and looked at it. He turned to me and said he would be right back; in the meantime, I called my son’s care team at Strong, and when the Doctor returned, I asked him to speak with them. He did, and how the anesthesia should be administered appeared resolved. Jonathan and I also asked the GI doctor performing the endoscopy to consult with the leading GI Doctor in Duchenne at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, OH. We were told that he has seen Duchenne patients and is familiar and didn’t need to consult with him. 5. Not all floor nurses can handle a crisis. After my son completed the procedure, he was not fully recovered when brought to the floor. As the afternoon wore on, he coded twice. The second time he clinically died, my husband got my son on the floor and performed chest compressions while the nurse ran out into the hall and yelled for help. This incident caused my son to be moved to the ICU. 6. When a doctor asks the question
did I cause this? Take pause. My thoughts are that deep down, they suspect themselves that they did not do their job. The morning after my son was moved into the ICU, the anesthesiologist entered the room as the IV team installed the PIC line. During that conversation, he admitted that he usually sees Cystic Fibrosis patients, not Duchenne patients. But, both classes of patients react to Anesthesia in the same way. He is wrong. The only commonality with these diseases is that they are both classed as rare diseases, and each patient presents different symptoms. Not all Cystic Fibrosis or Duchenne patients follow the same course or show the same signs attributed to the disease. 7. Make sure all the assessments and solutions are charted. Carry a notebook with you, and document what their reviews are. A speech pathologist saw my son in the ER and told me he had Thrush. The thrush was not charted in the ER; therefore, the antifungal medication wasn’t administered until ten days after being seen in the ER. It was given only after a speech pathologist saw him in the ICU. The ER administered an antibiotic for a urinary tract infection, which was determined by a blood test. The entire ICU stay might have been avoided if Jon had been given the Antifungal while in the ER. 8. You may not see any doctor that you are familiar with. It would be best if you were vigilant in understanding their experience in dealing with patients with the specific disease.
I needed to force the ICU team to consult with my son’s usual care team with Duchenne experience. You need to be persistent and not give up. I relied on publicly available resources and was highly stubborn in having knowledgeable doctors on my son and his disease consult with the ICU doctors. I needed to make sure that the attending doctors and not residents prescribed changes in meds. Duchenne has a list of safe and unsafe medications. I printed it out and ensured it was uploaded to Jon’s chart, and a hard copy was left on the charting table in his room. 9. Keep up with testing and monitor any declines regularly. This will allow everyone to understand what the baselines are fully. COVID-19 made Jon very anxious, and didn’t attend the follow-up appointments during the pandemic. Therefore, equipment changes were not identified until our stay in the hospital. In which we learned how to use new equipment during a crisis. It’s far better to know about your equipment needs early and regularly use it as therapy. For instance, my son had a cough assist machine at home that he never used periodically. We left the hospital with a non-invasive ventilator for sleeping and a suction machine. We are still getting used to the ventilator, and my son has figured out that he should use the cough assist machine morning and night for therapy. 10. Use the hospital services to help you. The information desk and the secretaries should be able to point you to contact any departments to help ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 143
{ SHIFT+CONTROL } } } { ONE TOUGH MOTHER { LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT “You may not see any doctor that you are familiar with. It would be best if you were vigilant in understanding their experience in dealing with patients with the specific disease.”
with these services. Patient Relations and security can aid in getting parking taken care of for extended periods. Social Work can assist in getting 144
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
skilled nursing services or additional services if required. They can work with your primary care physician to complete the necessary paperwork.
Sometimes, it is easier to start the process while the patient is still in the hospital and not after release.
146
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ IN HER OWN WORDS} } { SHIFT+CONTROL
TURNING PAIN INTO PURPOSE BY VALERIE DIMINO & JESSICA RENEE I PHOTOS BY ANDREA WESTERLUND
Valerie here, coauthor of The Man Behind the Curtain: A Memoir, which I was honored to write with Jessica, a survivor of sexual abuse whose family and church community tried to silence her when the truth came out. Our mission with this book is to help others who have been abused find the courage to use their voices and find hope for defining their own futures. It’s been generating difficult and important conversations about abuse and its aftermath, including the tremendous and unfair burden often placed on the victims, fighting an uphill battle for any hope of justice or closure. We’re grateful to be a part of those conversations and to have been so welcomed by the greater Rochester community, including having shared more about our work in the previous two editions of Rochester Woman Online. I recently chatted with Jessica to reflect on this journey and what it’s meant to her. Thinking back to when we were about to launch the book in April 2022, Jessica said she was feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement. “It was exciting to be able to say we finally published the book”—I couldn’t agree more, after 7 years of research, writing, editing, and publication preparations—“but I was nervous because you never know what
people’s reactions are going to be.” Jessica couldn’t help but brace for negativity, given what she had been conditioned to believe. We were putting a book out into the world that speaks candidly about things she had first kept hidden and had then been punished for talking about. She had so long been shamed for telling the truth, for reporting something that was never
her fault. So, to refuse to be silenced any longer and instead speak on this larger, public scale was immensely brave of her—a courage I’ve admired since our earliest meetings. To have the book be met with such support—so many more people hearing her, believing her, and standing with her in solidarity—has been a relief for Jessica and often, still, a pleasant surprise, given how skewed her world view had been by her prior community.
“It was a breath of fresh air, after everything I dealt with before this,” she said. “Those types of people were very discouraging and made me think that’s how the whole world is.” We’ve both been surprised by the number of people who can relate to experiences like Jessica’s, either personally or regarding a loved one. “It makes me really sad to hear that so many people have experienced the same thing,” said Jessica. “I didn’t realize—you hear the statistics, but it’s different when you start hearing from people directly that this happened to them too.” The positive side of bringing these shared experiences to light is that it’s helping to facilitate those difficult conversations, about things people often need to talk about, even if they might not quite want to or might not know how to do so. “It can be a little bit of an icebreaker, a way to start talking about it,” Jessica said. “If our book can help people talk about what happened to them, and to know they’re not alone—that’s one of my main goals.” Talking about her own experiences—in both writing the book and now having conversations about it—has proven therapeutic for Jessica, an important piece of her healing journey. “It’s allowed me the space to talk about it comfortably, ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 147
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
148
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 149
{ IN HER OWN WORDS} } { SHIFT+CONTROL
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“To have the book be met with such support—so many more people hearing her, believing her, and standing with her in solidarity—has been a relief for Jessica and often, still, a pleasant surprise, given how skewed her world view had been by her prior community.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
without holding it in,” she said. “It gave my story more of a purpose. At least I can do something to try to help somebody else.” Working with a therapist has been another key element of Jessica’s healing process, throughout its various stages. “It’s not something that’s a quick fix,” she said. “You don’t just go in for a couple sessions and then suddenly know how to deal with everything. Therapy for me is always going to be ongoing, even if it’s not as intense as when I first started. As I’ve gotten older, through different stages of my life, my past affects me differently.” One major difference in her current stage of life is that Jessica is now a mother, which adds a powerful layer to her memories of her own mother’s lack of support. “As a parent now, I will never be able to understand my mom’s reaction,” Jessica told me. As discussed in our book, Jessica’s mom’s actions amounted to worse than just a lack of support—to total anti-support. That additional period of trauma that followed the sexual abuse had Jessica feeling stuck in a very dark place for a while. And she wants to reassure others, especially those currently stuck in that dark place, that “eventually you do get out of this, and you can have a healthy life. It doesn’t define who you are.” Jessica has proven this many times over in moving away from the community that was working against her and severing communication with them. She’s building her own life with her fiancé, son, and 150
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
cats and working toward a degree in nursing. We hope her story can bring comfort to others who can relate all too well. We want them to know they’re not alone and to encourage them to talk to someone about what they’ve been through. “This is not something you should keep inside,” Jessica said. Of course, this doesn’t mean that talking about such things is easy. Jessica emphasized that it’s important to “be gentle with yourself when dealing with the healing process and when trying to talk to other people about it. You’re not always going to get the reaction you hope you’re going to get. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable for other people; it’s not a conversation some people want to have.” Knowing that, she recommends trying not to fixate on other people’s reactions too much, while being mindful of them and “while giving yourself the space to ask for what you need and honor when you need to reach out for someone to listen.” I’ll forever be grateful that Jessica was willing to let me into her life as one of those people she could talk to. I certainly didn’t always know what to say, and sometimes the limitations in how I could help were frustrating. But I could listen, I could let her know I believed her, and I could help share her story. If nothing else, dear readers, please try
to do that. Or try to find someone you can trust to help you do so about your own story. “Everybody’s healing process is different,” Jessica said. “So, what worked well for me may not for you. Just be patient. Try a different therapist or different therapy methods. Some people’s journey might be faster or slower. But knowing you did the work—or are doing the work—to heal yourself is very empowering.” You can read more about our book and Jessica’s journey at valeriedimino.com. An excerpt from The Man Behind the Curtain: A Memoir by Jessica Renee with Valerie Dimino I don’t know if I honestly thought things could continue as they were, or if I believed they would stop on their own, or if I just needed not to be the one to pull the alarm. Regardless, in hindsight, I think I’m glad Aaron felt he had to speak up, and that he was willing to be that voice for me when I couldn’t quite summon my own. I still have to say I think I’m glad he told, because I quickly learned how right I was about the enemy lurking around that next corner. The hell I was about to face gave the hell I’d been through a run for its money. Aaron told his mother what he knew. They debated waiting to tell anyone else until my mom got back from her trip, but Aaron was too distraught, and they realized that any night they waited could be another night it happened.
{ SHIFT+CONTROL QUEEN OF ARTS } }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 151
{ IN HER OWN WORDS }
“It was a breath of fresh air, after everything I dealt with before this,” she said. . His mom talked to her sister for advice. Together, they called our pastor. He called the police. I picture this chain of conversation like a forest fire: beginning with one small spark that succumbs to the heat, soon engulfing everything in its path.
152
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
As scary as that ripple effect was—like a tear in a seam that you can’t stop from unraveling—I knew on some level even then that the truth did need to come out, not only to stop this awful cycle in my own life but also for some greater good. At that time, it was just a vague awareness, somewhere out on the periphery, a call I couldn’t yet fully
hear. But there were little snippets of a bigger picture forming. For instance, I’d started to worry what would happen if I had kids someday and they went to Mitch’s house. That made my stomach drop to an even greater depth than it did from all that I had already endured personally. I knew it had to stop. It would stop now. It would stop with me.
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 153
MEET CINDY LARSON “North Coast Sparkle is not just a jewelry brand; it’s a beacon of hope and a reminder that even in the darkest times, we can find our unique sparkle and use it to illuminate the lives of others.”
156
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES {{ SHIFT+CONTROL MINUTES MATTER }} }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Cindy’s continuous inspiration is drawn from the heartwarming stories of rescued dogs finding loving homes.” BY NICOLE HEROUX PHOTOS WILLIAMS BY BLOOM I PHOTOS PHOTOGRAPHY BY NSP STUDIO
“North Coast Sparkle: Crafting Jewelry and Saving Lives with Cindy Larson” In a world that often seems chaotic and unpredictable, there are individuals who rise above adversity, turning their passion into purpose, and making a difference in the lives of both people and animals. Cindy Larson, the creative mind behind North Coast Sparkle, is one such inspiring woman who has found her unique way to shine bright. Her journey, from personal challenges to a thriving jewelry brand with a mission, is a testament to the transformative power of creativity and compassion.
While adopting Quincy, Cindy crossed paths with Jaclyn, an inspiring woman dedicated to dog rescue. The meeting with Jaclyn would become a turning point in Cindy’s life and the birth of a brand with a powerful mission. Crafting Identity and Making a Difference North Coast Sparkle’s mission is to create bracelets that mirror the wearer’s identity using colors, charms of significance,
A Spark of Inspiration Amidst Challenges North Coast Sparkle is not just about jewelry; it’s about the spark of resilience and the radiance of hope. The journey began when Cindy, like many of us, faced personal trials. “About the same time the pandemic started, I went through some health challenges that limited my mobility. It was during that time that I discovered a passion for beading,” she reveals. It’s often in our most vulnerable moments that our greatest strengths are revealed. Cindy’s story is no different.
and the best quality Swarovski crystals. Beyond jewelry, Cindy is driven by the desire to support dog rescue efforts in regions where these animals need help the most. This dual purpose sets North Coast Sparkle apart from typical jewelry and craft vendors.
It was during this period of self-discovery that Cindy adopted her loyal canine companion, Quincy, through a pet adoption organization. This decision would not only change her life but set the course for North Coast Sparkle.
What makes North Coast Sparkle truly unique is Cindy’s background as a former dancer and choreographer. Her artistic eye for design and her flair for creativity imbue her jewelry with a sense of movement and expression.
Each piece reflects not only Cindy’s artistic vision but also the essence of the person who wears it. Swarovski Crystals: Sparkling Brilliance A hallmark of North Coast Sparkle’s jewelry is the use of Swarovski crystals. When asked about the significance of these crystals, Cindy has a simple yet powerful explanation: “Swarovski crystals are the best crystals you can use for creating sparkle. This is why I use them. I want only the best unique pieces with the best sparkle.” In this statement, Cindy encapsulates the essence of her work – a commitment to excellence and the pursuit of brilliance. The Creative Process: Choreographing Beauty Cindy’s creative process is a dance of colors and design. She begins by selecting crystals based on the wearer’s preferred colors or her own mood. The choice of crystals leads to the birth of a design, much like choreography for a dance. This process is deeply meditative for Cindy, as she crafts pieces that not only dazzle the eye but also resonate with the wearer’s soul. Rescuing Dogs, Saving Lives North Coast Sparkle is not just about adornment; it’s about making a difference in the lives of dogs in need. The brand is closely associated with “Friends of Macon County,” a rescue organization run by ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 157
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
158
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 159
{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES { SHIFT+CONTROL } } “Cindy’s ultimate goal for North Coast Sparkle is simple yet profound: to reach as many people as possible through her creativity.”
Jaclyn Falor from Lafayette, TN. Jaclyn is a dedicated dog rescuer and adopter who works tirelessly to save dogs from high-kill shelters, providing them with foster care and loving homes.
interaction. Every piece she creates is imbued with a personal touch, making it special and meaningful to the wearer. These relationships formed through her jewelry represent the heartbeat of North Coast Sparkle.
Her primary goal is to rescue as many dogs as possible from the looming threat of euthanasia. North Coast Sparkle, through its partnership with Friends of Macon County, contributes to this noble cause, using a portion of its proceeds to support the rescue and rehabilitation of dogs.
The Ultimate Goal
Evolution and Future Aspirations Since its inception, North Coast Sparkle has evolved organically, finding new avenues to connect with customers. Cindy’s vision for the future is one of growth and exploration. She is content to let her brand grow naturally while remaining open to new opportunities that may come her way. The Rewarding Journey The most rewarding aspect of running North Coast Sparkle for Cindy is the appreciation her handcrafted bracelets receive. Equally gratifying is knowing that her creative efforts are instrumental in helping dogs in need. The journey has been one of heart, soul, and impact. Customer Stories: Every Piece Tells a Unique Tale What stands out most for Cindy is the uniqueness of each customer 160
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
Cindy’s ultimate goal for North Coast Sparkle is simple yet profound: to reach as many people as possible through her creativity. She aspires to share the joy she feels while crafting each piece, helping others discover their unique identity through her creations. Creativity as Meditation When Cindy is immersed in creating jewelry pieces, she enters a meditative state. Each bead, each crystal, and each design is a manifestation of her inner calm, a testament to the therapeutic power of art and creation. Inspiration Amidst Sparkle Cindy’s continuous inspiration is drawn from the heartwarming stories of rescued dogs finding loving homes. This ongoing narrative of hope and compassion fuels her creativity, reminding her that her work serves a purpose beyond aesthetics. Advice for Aspiring Designers and Entrepreneurs For aspiring jewelry designers or entrepreneurs in the fashion industry, Cindy offers sage advice. “Find your uniqueness and don’t be afraid to
stand apart. Be true to yourself and your creative power.” In a world filled with conformity, her words echo the importance of authenticity and individuality. Cindy Larson’s Journey: Compassion and Creativity In closing, Cindy shares a bit about herself and her personal journey, which led her to create North Coast Sparkle. She has always been a caring and compassionate person, a theme that has run through the various chapters of her life, from nursing to dancing. As she reflects on her journey, she acknowledges that the process of self-discovery is far from over. It’s a journey that continues to unfold, marked by creativity, compassion, and the unwavering commitment to making a difference in the lives of people and dogs alike. Cindy Larson’s story is a testament to the transformative power of adversity and the boundless potential of the human spirit. North Coast Sparkle is not just a jewelry brand; it’s a beacon of hope and a reminder that even in the darkest times, we can find our unique sparkle and use it to illuminate the lives of others.
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
“ Equally
GRATIFYING is knowing that her creative efforts are instrumental in HELPING DOGS in need. The journey has been one of heart, soul, and IMPACT.
”
162
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 163
MEET
MONIQUE HUNTER Artist at the Pittsford Upstairs Gallery
166
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“How does anyone favorite just one piece of artwork?!? When I create a piece of art, I put my heart and soul into every step, from the design process all the way through the construction of the piece.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
What medium do you primarily work with in your art, and why did you choose it? I work in stained glass - large scale panels mostly, though I do also enjoy creating lanterns and some 3D objects. I really can’t say that I chose glass as much as it chose me. I have toyed with pen and ink, pencils and charcoal and most seriously with painting on fabric, but there was always something about stained glass that both calmed and excited me. It was the best part of going to church as far as I was concerned. I often think that perhaps my love of design might have stemmed from the drawing activity ‘taking your pencil for a walk’ that my mother taught me when I was quite little. You take your pencil and just draw long sweeping, curvy lines that criss cross each other until you are satisfied that your page is sufficiently covered with lines and irregular shapes. The goal is to not think about it too much - just create a design that feels good. Then with paints, or markers, or coloring pencils, you fill in each of the irregular shapes with whatever colors you choose. Stained glass pattern design is like that. You take your pencil for a walk and sometimes you can create the most beautiful images. Then of course, I get to fill each of those pattern pieces with stunning art glass. Can you share some of the key themes or subjects that inspire your artwork? Definitely florals and old, decorative wrought iron and fretwork. Growing up in Trinidad and Tobago, one can’t help but marvel at all the lush greenery
of ferns and broad leafed plants, and the striking florals of tropical flowers like the anthurium, bougainvillea, allamanda (which we just call yellow flower), and the grand poui tree. As children, we would pick the tiny flowers of the ixora shrub, and pull the pistils out. Along the tiny filament of the pistil, there would be a trace amount of the sweetest nectar. You could also pull what nectar was left in the tubular base of the flower by biting along it with your teeth. When I design
a floral panel, I can almost taste the nectar and feel my teeth gently biting down on the tube - it squeaked a little. Everywhere I’ve been in this world, I’ve found the most marvelous, old, wrought iron gates. They all protect something - forts, gardens, the entrances to houses and promise something magical beyond them. The hard iron on the older gates are often heavily worked into organic designs, reminiscent of florals and the Art Nouveau style. They are a mix
of straight and curved lines and the negative spaces between them beg to be filled with glass. The perfect mix of rigidity and freedom. How did you first become interested in pursuing a career as an artist? I was in high school when I discovered fabric painting. I’d color the cloth using traditional dyes or teas and then create pattern with lino printing, hand painting, stencils, or silk screen. Batik was another favorite of mine. I had visions of attending OCAD in Toronto and did indeed apply to the program. But when I showed up for the admissions interview, with my homemade portfolio, absent of any oils or watercolors, I realized I was completely out of my depth and in my head, I was laughed out of the school. Needless to say I did not get into OCAD and decided to pursue a degree in English Literature with a focus on creative writing, and then later, a diploma in Montessori education. In Canada, I settled into the Montessori world as a teacher and later as a principal for almost a decade. Shortly after I moved to the US in 2006, my husband arranged for me to attend a weekend beginner stained glass workshop with Barney Harris of Zekiah Glass in Farnham, VA. From the very first score and break, I knew I had found my place. I went back to work the following Monday and promptly announced that one day, I’d be leaving my post as part of the executive team of Baltimore Reads (an adult literacy and GED preparation program) to do stained glass full time. They thought I was joking. It took ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 167
QUEEN OF ARTS }} {{ SHIFT+CONTROL
YOU ARE ENOUGH. “But truly, my biggest challenge is simply myself. ”
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
another 6 years, but in 2013 I opened Dancing Light Stained Glass Studio. Eventually, I merged my experience as a trained educator with my love of glass and I offer classes at my studio. What drew you to showcase your work at the Pittsford Upstairs Gallery? Short answer: Chris Manaseri. Chris and I met a number of years ago. I was teaching a stained glass workshop at the Memorial Art Gallery and Chris signed up as a learner. Though Chris is a ridiculously talented and prolific painter, he really does appreciate all types of art. Shortly after, we collaborated on a project where I turned one of his paintings into a stained glass panel. He still has it displayed to this day. When Chris contacted me last year about showing at the Pittsford UPSTAIRS Gallery, because of his love for art and truly genuine nature, I listened intently. When he said the gallery would showcase ‘fine craft’, I jumped at the chance. Seeing the space only confirmed my decision as it is bright and warm with an air of lightness about it. Can you describe your creative process when starting a new piece? When I get an idea for a new design, whether it be a commissioned piece or what I call a ‘vanity piece’ where the only person I need to please is myself, I become totally obsessed about the design. I usually start to design in my head for about a week before I even sit down at the computer to start to draw the pattern. I can picture the whole thing in my mind. I’ve lost track of time in the shower because of the preplanning and my dreams are also usually consumed by the this process. I often wonder what an image of my firing 168
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
synapses would look like during this period. When I finally start to actually draw it out, I work on a computer program designed just for stained glass artists. I’ll usually build each element separately and then resize and layer them until my brain feels satisfied. I usually have at least seven renditions of the first draft saved prior to even presenting it to the client. To me, one of the marks of a successful stained glass pattern is not having too many extemporaneous cut lines that have no relevance to the overall design. Most of my work lives outside of New York State, but when I get a local commission, I love to involve clients in choosing the glass. It’s nice when we are all excited. Are there any specific artists or artistic movements that have influenced your work? Two. Alphonse Mucha and the music and costumes of Trinidad and Tobago Carnival. Mucha’s work, with its strong lines, and graphic designs, melded with the romantic and almost soft images of his subjects are a total juxtaposition, yet play together magnificently. Many of his pieces are just begging to be turned into stained glass panels. In my childhood home, we had two very 1970’s mirrors with Mucha’s Eclat du Jour and Rêverie du Soir printed on each in tones of gold and muted ambers. I looked at those images every day for decades so it’s not surprising at all that his work is so inspiring to me. Fun fact - they are currently hanging in my living room. The Carnival season in Trinidad and Tobago is a time of freeness, togetherness, self expression and revelry with abandon. Whether the artists are creating music or costumes, art and design are everywhere
and movement becomes forefront to the design process. In the book The Dragon Can’t Dance by Earl Lovelace, tension builds as Carnival nears and the main character is completely preoccupied with creating and bringing to life his own dragon costume for the longawaited parade. Nowadays, fewer and fewer people create their own costumes, instead opting to join a Carnival band, but just like it always has been, the tension builds and builds until the whole country explodes in color and joy and movement on Carnival Monday and Tuesday. If anyone ever described my work as color and joy and movement, I would know that I have accomplished my goals. I don’t want my art to feel static at all. I want my viewers to feel a breeze on their cheeks, or smell white flowers at night, or remember what it is like to walk barefoot in grass or on the sand. I am not usually one of those artists who creates to deliver a political message or bring light to an injustice - I do that quite well using my actual voice. I simply want to create beautiful things that bring color and evoke feelings of nostalgia or happiness in anyone viewing my work. What role does the local Rochester art scene play in your artistic journey? The scene doesn’t inspire me as much as the artists themselves do. The talent in this city is astounding. Just come to the gallery and you will see a small sampling of that. I started my art career later in life, when I had a partner (my husband, David) to help support me in my (ad)venture. Many of the Rochester artists have followed their path from a young age and keep creating despite the adversaries they face. And those that have been recognized for their
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 169
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
172
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
QUEEN OF ARTS }} {{ SHIFT+CONTROL
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Whether the artists are creating music or costumes, art and design are everywhere and movement becomes forefront to the design process.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
brilliance reach back for those of us still finding our way. This is a city that certainly believes in the arts, and when you have a whole city backing you, how can you fail? Could you share a memorable or challenging experience you’ve had as an artist in Rochester? My second biggest challenge in Rochester is just the length of time I’ve been here. We moved here in 2012 and though eleven years may seem like a long enough time to get my footing, I really haven’t yet. There are so many avenues to getting my name out there that I am simply unaware of. I wasn’t joking when I said that the vast majority of my commissions are in forever homes outside of NY. BUT, in 2020, I created a piece depicting the acacia trees on the African plain at sunset, designed for absolute gems of clients in the Brighton area. The finished piece was installed in a light box which when you think of it, is actually quite brilliant as you can dim or brighten the ‘sunset’ at will. In 2021, after many of us had started to emerge from quarantine, they hosted an end of summer party where they unveiled the piece, and they invited my husband and I to attend. It was truly a wonderful experience being amongst people who appreciated my work and wanted to talk about it too! But truly, my biggest challenge is simply myself. With the exception of my students and a few apprentices turned friends, I’m usually (happily) alone in my studio and I get in my head a lot. It’s hard not to compare your work and talent to that of others. I’ve been invited to apply to a fantastic guild and to show at other galleries, but I always
apply the brakes. We all have that little voice of doubt - right now, mine is just speaking more loudly than it should. Do you have a favorite piece of artwork that you’ve created, and if so, what makes it special to you? How does anyone favorite just one piece of artwork?!? When I create a piece of art, I put my heart and soul into every step, from the design process all the way through the construction of the piece. I like to say that a little piece of me is in everything I create. The unsaid part is that it’s my DNA, as I’m pretty clumsy around sharp objects (and glass can be pretty sharp). But if I am to objectively look at all the stained glass art that I’ve produced over the past fifteen or so years, my top five, in no particular order, would be: The first is a round panel that I titled Collette which is of a little boardwalk leading down to a beach in Trinidad. It is full of color and detail. I am a sucker for detail. I am very proud of the dappled effect of the shadow cast by the coconut tree fronds onto the wooden path. There is nothing quite like walking down a little road only to round a corner and have the entire ocean spread out before you. I can smell the salt spray when I look at this panel. This panel is one of a set of three rounds, each about three feet in diameter that now live all grouped together in a beach house on Cherry Grove Beach in North Myrtle Beach. The next are a set of two tropical floral panels that I did for a wonderful couple who moved from Hawaii to Pennsylvania. These panels were mounted as transoms above both the front door and the back slider so the couple were reminded of
their time in Hawaii coming and going from their house and while they were in the family room. These panels were close to their hearts as well as mine. One was 36” wide and other was a whopping 68” wide. Because these clients were not afraid of color and gave me free rein with glass choice, I was able to design for them completely from my heart … and dig into my secret stash of glass. Another panel that is close to my heart is a transom for an entry way into a game room. This room was decorated with the theme of the historic Myrtle Beach Pavilion amusement park in mind. The panel depicts two of the original carousel animals set against the backdrop of the ornate rounding board and the tent shaped top. I believe that this may be one of my best designed pieces to date. The fact that it is full of whimsical detail makes me incredibly happy. This piece was commissioned by a client who took a chance on me to produce a large scale panel for him, back when I had no experience with large scale panels. I was honest with him but it was a total ‘fake it till you make it’ moment. I will forever have a special place in my heart for this gentleman. Those panels were successful and this Carousel Game Room panel was too. Until this year, I would have described my art as being fairly literal and coloring between the lines. Earlier this year, I created a series of panels that broke all my rules. One of them, titled Rondellian Dreams, is a little bit Orwell (an absolute dystopian novelist genius) and a lot Alice in Wonderland. It is an abstract floral, that features a large hand blown rondel and lots of brightly colored glass. The background glass is a little discordant, ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 173
QUEEN OF ARTS }} {{ SHIFT+CONTROL
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Most of my work lives outside of New York State, but when I get a local commission, I love to involve clients in choosing the glass. It’s nice when we are all excited.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
which I think suits the piece perfectly. I’m proud of myself for breaking out of my norm with this piece and it will not be my last abstract. My final favorite piece is one I am currently working on and I hope to unveil it at Pittsford UPSTAIRS Gallery as soon as it is finished. This piece is based off a photo by the fabulously talented Maria Nunes, of a traditional Carnival character, a Moko Jumbie. The Moko Jumbie is a god amongst the revelers, acting as protector for all. The masqueraders (who wear and perform in the costumes) skillfully dance on stilts sometimes 15 feet in the air! The costume credit goes to Touch D Sky Productions and the costume is titled “Storm on the Edge of a Knife”. I was given permission by both the designer and the photographer to recreate this piece. The finished panel will be just under four feet high - a tall panel for the even taller Moko Jumbie. How do you stay motivated and inspired in your artistic practice? I know this may seem odd, but I don’t. I don’t try to push past artistic blocks. I truly just let them be and focus on other projects until something strikes. I’ve always believed that you should love what you do, and if I’m not loving it then it’s time to take a break or get a job that actually pays the bills. Any glass artist will tell you that glass can feel your tension and your mood, and if you are tense or frustrated, the glass will not cooperate (and may just break). One of the first 174
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
things that I teach my stained glass students is to loosen up their shoulders and then breathe. That being said, I’m a stickler for deadlines, so I will break through that motivation brick wall if needed, but at that point, the piece has already been designed, so it’s just a matter of physically following through with the work.
such shows are few and far between for me ,though I’ve had a marvelous time at each of these events. For now, I’ll happily stick with the Pittsford UPSTAIRS Gallery.
I love glass and I see myself doing stained glass forever. My love of the medium and seeing the excitement of my students when they first cut glass is motivation enough. Stopping for a week or a month or sometimes more when life really throws you a roadblock is just a small slice of that overall span of time.
I would advise new artists of any age to take the time to consider their art and recognize the uniqueness of what they do. You have to appreciate your own talent before anyone else can. Also, learn to talk about yourself AND your work - people buy you as much as they buy your art. And last but not least, don’t take rejection personally. Listen to critique objectively, but remember that art appreciation is subjective.
Can you tell us about any upcoming exhibitions or projects you’re working on? As mentioned before, I am currently working on the Moko Jumbie piece. Also on my workbench are three more panels. One depicting a fox, one an owl and one a bison. Each of these animals are covered in highly textured fur or feathers and I consider it a challenge to be able to try to recreate that texture in glass. One of the most fun things about doing animal portraits is ensuring that you capture the look in their eyes. If you can do that, the battle is already won. Because I work primarily on commission, I do not have a large body of work to show and I don’t do a lot of exhibitions. I have taken part in Rochester art events such as Artist’s Row and the Rochester Museum & Science Center Holiday Bazaar, but
What advice would you give to aspiring artists looking to make their mark in the art world?
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 175
{ QUEEN OF ARTS }
“When I get an idea for a new design, whether it be a commissioned piece or what I call a ‘vanity piece’ where the only person I need to please is myself, I become totally obsessed about the design” 176
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
Come, Vieni. ...find yourself at our estate, nestled in the conservation corridor of the Bruce Trail, atop the Niagara Escarpment, where our wines are meticulously crafted from the fruit of vines cultivated on the rolling hills of the Vinemount Ridge. As our name suggests, we welcome you to experience our compelling range of award winning wines and spirits and join us in celebrating this distinct Canadian wine region.
www.vieni.ca
wine & spirits. hospitality centre. bed & breakfast www.vieni.ca
@vieniestates
CAMP GOOD DAYS
Masquerade WINE & SPIRITS AUCTION GALA
JOIN US! OCTOBER 28, 2023 | 5:30 PM HOLIDAY INN DOWNTOWN
CGDWINE23.GIVESMART.COM
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
180
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
INTRODUCING...} } { { SHIFT+CONTROL
THE MENOPAUSE MINUTE BY SHERYL VEGA
Hi there! I am Sheryl Vega, The Menopause Mentor, and Welcome to a new monthly feature entitled; Midlife Minute (working title). I want to take a moment and introduce myself to you.
knowledge of women’s health allowed me to not just manage but master my menopause and aging symptoms through lifestyle changes.
I am a Cer tified Menopause Coach. ( Yu p i t ’s a r e a l thing.) Before becoming a certified Menopause Coach, I started my wellness career as a certified fitness professional and eventually after receiving a certification in nutrition, became a nationally Certified Health & Wellness Coach. During my own menopause journey, I was suffering from debilitating symptoms and couldn’t find help anywhere. So, I went back to the books. I was hopeful that I could manage my own menopause symptoms naturally. This began the next phase in both my personal and professional journey. I did the research, I learned the science, and I became certified as a Menopause Coach to dig deep into the issues midlife women face. My previous knowledge of fitness and nutrition along with my newfound
with additional life stressors during this time are overwhelming. I wanted to help other ladies get off the merrygo-round of symptom management and regain confidence within so that they too can reclaim their lives and regain their vitality! As part of this mission, Kelly has kindly allowed me to contribute to this monthly column on helping women navigate midlife with grace and confidence. I hope you will gain insight and education on the topics covered here such as sleeplessness, midlife weight gain, how to manage and balance your hormones, gut health and so much more. Be on the lookout for the first installment coming to you in November 2023. In Health & Happiness, Sheryl Vega T h e Me n o p a u s e Mentor www.sherylvega.com
Now I assist women in gracefully navigating midlife challenges. I know how confusing this stage of life can be. The endless symptoms combined ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 181
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
182
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ I’M NOT THAT GIRL ANY MORE } { {WALKING SHIFT+CONTROL WARRIOR} }
CHAPTER 2 BY SANDY ARENA
SHUFFLING FROM HOME TO HOME As I stated before, moving was our family’s thing, and that is just what we did. Our mother struggled to be content no matter where we were living, and we just went along for the ride. As a child growing up, this proved to be hard and heartbreaking, saying goodbye to friends, school districts, teachers, neighborhoods, bedrooms and homes. From one house to the next, to the next, and to the next. Eventually I learned to not cry, because it would not have made a difference. Flipping the switch to numb made it easier. I also learned to be an expert at packing and setting up whatever little space I could carve out for myself.
friends while I was an infant. Likewise, there were more transitions during my latter years of high school and college. I changed addresses approximately every six months depending on where my mom was living during those years since I was not yet fully independent. The journey during my high school and college years went something like this….. Harrington Avenue Downstairs
She proudly called herself a gypsy and bragged about her inner spirit for adventure. For me, our list of home locations did not feel adventurous, but rather painful. I never knew a home to be my “home” until I created that sense of feeling, stability and comfort for myself later in life. Here is the list of where I lived the first 25 years of my life: Western Springs, Illinois; Haddonfield, NJ; Collingswood, NJ; Medford Lakes, NJ; Medford Cranberry Bogs, NJ; Long Beach Island 88th Street, NJ; Long Beach Island 63rd Street, NJ; Glen Mills Farmhouse, Pa.; Ridley Park Barker Street, Pa.; and then for me, back to Long Beach Island to live with my sister where I slept on her pullout couch and kept my clothes and personal items in a tiny back room in her house. All of this was preceded by the four homes I lived in with relatives and family
Apartment, 16th Street Ship Bottom Downstairs Apartment, Beach Haven 10th Street House Upstairs Apartment, 9th Street Beach Haven Store where I didn’t have a bed or place to sleep in but where my mom lived and where I could use her address; Harrington Avenue Upstairs Apartment, Pearl Street downstairs apartment where I was given a cot for my summer break that was inside a room that my mother used as her closet, Brant Beach Bayfront Upstairs Apartment, and 21st Street Ship Bottom.
Peppered in between during my college years, I had my own temporary dorm rooms or apartments where I lived with friends or boyfriends. Once, I even lived with my boyfriend’s parents - in a clandestine sort of way - because my mom had moved to the 9th Street house that did not have a bedroom for me. For lack of knowing where else to sleep on my college summer and Christmas breaks, I began sleeping in his twin bed with him, until his parents asked him to ask me to leave. I certainly do not blame them then or now – it was awkward and not exactly appropriate, and quite frankly, terribly sad. I still feel the sting of tears welling up when I think about how displaced I always felt, and also the strength of resolve I had to never give up. After I left the boyfriend’s house, I don’t remember where I went or what I did except to say that I was driven to finish college, so I could finally make my own way and maybe one day have my own permanent home. My independence was fierce in a scary sort of way, and my drive to succeed was razor sharp. I was well-trained in the survival practice of stuffing negative feelings lest they get in the way of my goals to finish college to achieve complete independence and this was just how I had to adjust to live. In retrospect, I know the constant upheaval affected the way I viewed the world and how I responded to challenges. I share next a post I made on my blog Whatever is Beautiful as a self-reflection of how I view creating my own home in the wake of so much uprooting, and how I had to relearn the art of “staying ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 183
{ I’M NOT THAT GIRL ANY MORE }
“Our new home has been - by far - the greatest training ground of the idea of “sticking it out” for me as I have battled the temptation to call the real estate office and run.” put” when the going gets tough. I wanted to include this as it is very much an accounting of my experiences overcoming early trauma and retraining myself to become the human being I always aspired to be. It is an acknowledgement of how the constant moving deeply affected me, as well as the lessons I learned along the way. Most importantly, it is to share how the healing I have received from God and from a lot of hard work has helped me to overcome my past as I have created my own home sweet home for myself and my family. I am a child of God, and I am not an orphan, although I felt like that for 184
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
much of my life, as I know many people do especially when experiencing foster care. This past summer my family spent two weeks on Long Beach Island where I had lived and where so many of those addresses listed above are located. My husband and I spent a lot of time biking on the island and going up and down the streets where I lived. “Oh that was my house,” I would tell him, and then two miles later, “And that one too.” During this time, it dawned on me that while I never had an actual growing up home and that feeling of stability, the island itself, in its entirety is what feels like home to me, and for that I am grateful. In all of our hard life circumstances, there is always something for which we can be grateful.
How I View Homemaking Now After Finally Finding a Home As I stated before, during my growing up years, my family moved every year or two and even sometimes multiple times within one year, forcing me to become an expert at being the new girl in school, as well as a whiz at creating home interior spaces that I could temporarily call my own. I had a knack for setting up shop for myself no matter where I landed - whether it was nestled on a sleeping cot in a small room converted into a closet for my mother, or on a pullout couch in the living room of my older sister’s apartment. Living in four different homes with friends and family the first year of my life alone due to my
{ SHIFT+CONTROL } { I’M NOT THAT GIRL ANY MORE }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“And that vision for our family - the children of today and the children God would bring to us in the future - seemed so very far away because of the mess.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
mother’s illnesses, I am sure added to my adaptability to transitional living as an early way of life. While there are some benefits to this kind of lifestyle in developing flexibility, I do not look back on those years of constant moving with fondness. Instead, I battle feelings of trauma, instability and insecurity that - with the Lord’s help - I have had to work very hard at overcoming. I think everyone can agree that moving is stressful. Moving is listed as number three in the most stressful life experiences with death of a loved on being number one, and divorce being number two. Sometimes we would move from one house to the next within the same town which was always preferred because then we didn’t have to change schools, while other times we would move from one home to another even just 15 minutes away. The latter situation was worse because even though the new home was only a few minutes away, it was still far enough away that it meant we had to change schools, make new friends, and find our places again - in more ways than one. Many of these moves left me in deep mourning as I tearfully said goodbye to teachers, administrators, friends, boyfriends and accolades I had earned whether it was my position as president of my class (in both middle school and high school) or my hard won places on the cheerleading squad (also in middle school and high school). When my mom left my dad when I was 15 years old (more on that later),
the moving behavior intensified. Being the youngest of five children, I was the only one still living at home when she left him. It was 1982 and just two years before it would be time for me to head off to college where I hung onto hope that one day I would live a life of my own and be able to put all of it behind me. I vowed to raise my children without moving as much as possible, realizing, however, that the idea of staying, waiting and taking slow and steady steps towards a vision would need to be learned. No one ever taught me the value of this, and it was certainly never modeled. It has only been through studying the word of God, praying, and learning from and watching role models that I developed the skills and mindset to stay the course no matter what is thrown my way. I love the following scripture and the promise it shares for those who persevere, and the rewards God bestows upon us when we don’t quit. Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. James 1:12 NIV My husband and I have been married for 23 years and are now living in our third home - all three of which have been located within the same town. We moved to our third home seven years ago - from a home we loved and had lived in for 13 years - because we needed more space to raise two teenagers who did not have a home, who lived with us for five years. Our new home has been - by far - the
greatest training ground of the idea of “sticking it out” for me as I have battled the temptation to call the real estate office and run. I know that if I am patient, however, never ending issues like broken bathrooms can be fixed, as can basements with floods, or rotten trees falling on the roof. I also know that there are valuable life lessons in the waiting. Let me tell you about our current home. It is nothing short of a miracle that we are in this house to begin with and also the reason why we moved in the first place - which was to have more space for helping others which we have done since moving in here. We wanted a home that had more bedrooms, that had land and that was also in the same school district where we lived previously. It was not an easy find, but God had a plan. We went to see our home when it was on the market after learning the custody arrangements for the teenagers was going to take place, and it proved to be a mess with potential. It had been listed for quite some time. The previous owners had divorced and it had been a rental for 10 years - hence the mess. But it was located in a lovely, quiet neighborhood just blocks away from our high school, and it backed up to the most beautiful farmland I had ever seen with the most exquisite views. I always wanted a farm and farm animals, but where we lived this was not possible, so this seemed to be the next best thing! God knew my heart and provided a wonderful alternative. Also appealing about this ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 185
{ I’M NOT THAT GIRL ANY MORE } { SHIFT+CONTROL }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“I am the girl who moved quickly and often during my formative years, and who is training to be the woman who stays the course and works slow and steady towards a vision.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
s messy, seemingly unwanted home with the beautiful views is that it had so many bedrooms (SIX - so perfect for us) and all of this rambling space with........well.....potential. Little did I know that potential’s next best friend is patience, which was something I was still learning. God told me to build from where I am and resist the temptation to abort and run thinking there is something better, someplace else. We decided to make an offer on the house and it was accepted! They had just lowered the price to way below market value because it had been on the market and rented for so long. So, we listed the home we had been in for 13 years (bittersweet) and I just knew in my heart that this was our time. Everything with the custody commitment was finally falling into place and here was this big, messy rambling home overlooking farmland just waiting for us. I told our real estate agent when we went to list our home with complete assurance in my ability to hear the voice of the Lord - “Just wait. Our house will sell without a sign even out front.” It was the perfect time for the Lord to show His sovereignty providing our family a chance to own this home and piece of land. And that is exactly what happened – again – because this same thing also happened when I sold my home in New Jersey to move to Rochester! When God says it is time to go, it is time to go! The next day after we signed the listing agreement and BEFORE a 186
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
sign went up, I pretty much sold our old home on the front sidewalk while wearing my pajamas to a woman who lived a few homes down from ours whose family had been renting on our street for a few months. She too was wearing her jammies and we met up on the street while I was taking out the garbage. She ran down the sidewalk to tell me she wanted to buy our home and begged me not to sell it during the open house that was taking place that day. Her family was transitioning to our town and they were in a temporary rental and her children fell in love with the street. She learned that our house had gone on the market from a friend who was a real estate agent, hence why she knew BEFORE a “For Sale” sign was posted out front! My neighbor and I shook hands - two women with unruly morning hair with their family’s wellbeing on their minds. It was that simple, and it was done. She offered us - in that moment - the same price for our home that we were paying for our new home that was about three times the size in square footage, and also in land. Unpacking and setting up a home became my new life mission and I KNEW that God gave us this land to provide a beautiful space and stability for children who were coming out of places of trauma - like the children who lived with us for a time. I created a social media site to document the process of turning the mess into a place of beauty. I see beauty and I am drawn to it. I am a dreamer and a visionary. And I could see what it would be. And that vision for our family - the children of today
and the children God would bring to us in the future - seemed so very far away because of the mess. Pick your project, oh my goodness. So much has happened since we have been here to slow down the process and switch gears including a giant and expensive basement flood, tax changes that affected us financially and a tree falling on our home! Despite these circumstances, I have still been able to slowly create spaces in this home to accommodate those it has sheltered including four foster children moving in and out again, and my 92 year old mother moving in and passing. At one time, we also had the wonderful privilege and gift of our oldest daughter moving back in with us for almost a year while she did a little “reorg” on her life. Additionally, her fiancé – now husband – had stayed with us for a few months after finishing his service in the Marine Corps - another incredible privilege to allow this big old house the opportunity to provide shelter and care for a man of great honor while in transition. Our home and its giant potential has been the location of my daughter’s dance company Incandescent Dance’s rehearsal space. We installed a dance studio and costume storage area in our lower level to help support her vision. This lower level is also where I ran my nonprofit organization Worth More Nation’s special occasion Fancy Frocks for Foster Care closet for four years! Learn more about Worth More Nation and the empowerment work we do to help people impacted by foster care and trauma to know their worth at www.worthmorenation.org.
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 187
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
188
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 189
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
190
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ I’M NOT THAT GIRL ANY MORE } { SHIFT+CONTROL }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“I was digging and digging, and the idea of sowing and reaping came to me and the process of digging small areas at a time that one day will reap a great reward through hard work, staying the course, and patience.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
I have practiced the art of patience making this house a home. During the seven years we have been here, and it has been SLOW going. I am the girl who moved quickly and often during my formative years, and who is training to be the woman who stays the course and works slow and steady towards a vision. About a year ago, in frustration, I cried out to God. “Why God? You brought us here in such a miraculous way. And also, you gave me an eye for beauty. I can’t stand the brown vinyl floors. And the ugly kitchen cabinets! I am visually suffering.” I was waiting for this giant ball of provision to come that would quickly fix it all and I would promptly be in the house of my dreams. But then I realized that this is NOT what this is about. God was using the house and all of its issues to teach me patience and that in good time it would become what I see in my mind what it will be if I wait, don’t force the issue and if I don’t quit. And once I realized this it was so exciting to me, and relieving. Now I can enjoy the process and look forward to what will be in the future and the surprises God has for us in the days to come as we wait and learn to do things ourselves.
During the quarantine, we had completed many projects as had many people. My Instagram documents some of them like my rainbow bookshelf that I LOVE where I store the piles of books I once used for homeschooling my children. But what I really felt like the Lord has been teaching me was the idea of completion, again learned behavior for me - one who is visionary, action oriented, and who can very
easily jump from new project to new project while struggling to see the first one through. I knew God would not provide the resources for a new project until I utilized things already given and brought those projects to completion. One time, I was in the garden digging a large area that will eventually became our fire pit. The kids love the fire pit and use it a lot, and that makes me happy.
So we decided to make it bigger and better. I was digging and digging, and the idea of sowing and reaping came to me and the process of digging small areas at a time that one day will reap a great reward through hard work, staying the course, and patience. And through this process, what we have built and created will be so much more worthwhile in our hearts than if it all was provided with very little thought or toil. I saw these principles in the digging and the hard work. Just the awareness of this and how it is a sign of healing from the trauma of my past has given me so much more peace, and the uncanny ability to turn my eyes away from those brown vinyl floors and know in due time they will be replaced with the flooring of my dreams! And more than anything, I am so pleased to say that I am no longer the girl without a permanent home and nothing is more important to me than this. I hope readers will be inspired in reading about my journey of instability to stay their own courses, and persevere as they move towards God’s promises that He will give them the crown of life.
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 191
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
194
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ LET’SENTREPRENEUR TALK } { OUR { WALKING LITTLEST WARRIOR } }
IMPOSTER SYNDROME BY NICOLE DOYLEY
Dr. Leilani Carver-Madalon writes, “People who are experiencing imposter syndrome feel like they are not good enough, like they don’t belong … that they are a fraud, and it is only a matter of time before they will be found out.” Almost every Black person I know has struggled with imposter syndrome. The degree of achievement and success doesn’t matter. We have a Bachelors, a Masters, a PhD, we have won awards in our fields. We drive Lexuses and live in big houses. It doesn’t matter. We still have to resist feelings of not belonging. Of course, we are not the only ones who wrestle with this. White women who work in male dominated fields also deal with it. You’re the only woman at the table, the only female surgeon, the only woman in the engineering class, the only female pastor at the conference- and men around you wonder if you really should be there. The struggle is real! Immigrants, especially immigrants with thick accents, also contend with this. It is as if an accent signifies inferior intelligence. People speak to you slowly and loudly and try to suppress shock when you express well-articulated, knowledgeable thoughts. But there is a depth and prevalence of imposter syndrome among Black people because no matter what we achieve, we feel the same question hanging in the air, “Do you belong here?” My husband and I feel it when we walk into a high-end restaurant in the suburbs: do you belong here? Can you afford to be here?
I have a Black friend who often has to explain that she owns her house and doesn’t just rent it: Do you belong in that house – as its owner?
and claimed and named Liberia, whose capital, Monrovia, bears his name. In their minds, freed Blacks had to leave; they had no place in America.
There’s another Black friend who is regularly asked if she is an aid when she enters her high-end apartment building. The thought that she actually lives there is unfathomable to some.
When slavery did end and most Black people did not leave, American instituted a one-hundred-year effort to keep us separate from white people. We were forced to live separately, work separately, attend school and church separately, swim separately, eat separately, seek medical help separately and then we were laid to rest separately in Colored cemeteries. White women have been through a lot, but their experiences don’t touch that level of rejection and disdain. They could not obtain white men’s jobs, but we could not breathe white peoples’ air.
We have felt it when we’ve walked into white churches, white gatherings, white spaces. You can feel that question hovering like smog: do you belong here? I remember when my husband and I were standing with a group of white engineers. When these white men found out that my husband has a PhD in physics, they actually gave him math problems to solve. We could hear their thoughts: Is your PhD real? Did they confer that auspicious degree on you to fulfill a quota? Do you measure up? You couldn’t possibly be as smart as us. It didn’t even enter their brain space that he could be smarter. A while ago, we heard about Moses Ingram, who plays Reva in the Disney+ series, Obi-Wan Kenobi. She received hundreds of racist comments from Star Wars fans. The message is loud: You don’t belong in the Star Wars universe. We don’t want you here. You’re not one of us. You’re not good enough. You don’t belong here. This is part of the American story. Thomas Jefferson believed that one day slaves would be free, but that they should then be sent back to Africa. James Monroe took it one step further
I wish this sense of not belonging ended when legal segregation ended. But it did not. That idea that America is first and foremost a white nation is propagated by cable news hosts, presidents, and politicians. It lay behind the malevolent questioning of Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson. It lay behind the accusations that President Obama must not truly be American. It motived Dylan Roof and Payton Gendron to mercilessly take the lives of as many Black people as possible in Tops and Mother Emmanuel Church. Many others who aren’t as rabid as Gendron or Roof believe that since we are here, we should at least assimilate with white norms and values. This assumption of assimilation allows us through the doors but expects obedience of thought: if you’re truly American, you have to vote the way we do, think the way we do, value the things we value ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 195
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
198
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ LET’S TALK }
“We are not imposters. We are the real deal. We are just as American as those of lighter hue.” and fit into the stereotypes we’ve created. Here’s the truth, though: we belong here. Other than indigenous peoples, we have endured more and overcome more than any other people group in this country. We peered through schoolhouse windows and taught ourselves to read. Under the cover of night, we stole away to underground slave churches and learned that God created us and set the Israelites free. That provided generations of hope that one day He would set us free, too. We learned math and science when no said we could. We won Pulitzer Prizes and Nobel Peace prizes. We won Olympic medals, breaking record after record. We recorded music which is heard by most humans on the planet. We turned ashes into beauty and crafted culture which others copy.
If a seat at the table requires sweat equity, we belong there.
are less that it is hard to believe that we are more, more than enough.
If a seat at the table requires intelligence, we belong there.
We have fought in every American war. We have pulled ourselves up from our bootstraps when we had no boots. We contributed billions of dollars to the economy when we could not vote. We withstood generations of taxation with no representation. Other than Native Americans, we are the only Americans who are not immigrants and if America is great at all, it is partly because of us.
If a seat at the table requires perseverance, we belong there. If a seat at the table requires character, we belong there. If a seat at the table requires natural talent, we belong there. If a seat at the table requires sheer will and determination, we belong there. Don’t let the noise of wondering if you belong drown out the steady drum beat of your brilliance. Don’t shrink back assuming that this new opportunity couldn’t possibly be for you. We have been told for so many centuries that we
We are not imposters. We are the real deal. We are just as American as those of lighter hue. We don’t have to step back, and fade into the background. Rather, we can step forward - and sit down at the table.
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 199
SPECIALIZES IN WILLS/PROBATE AND TRUST WORK, ALONG WITH REAL ESTATE AND NURSING HOME COLLECTIONS 1900 EMPIRE BLVD. #172 I WEBSTER, NY 14580 I (585)217-9390
{ INTRODUCING... SHIFT+CONTROL }}
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“ I am Christina, a teacher by profession, coach by passion, mom, stepmom, friend, entrepreneur, and more! ” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY CHRISTINA A. LEEBY NSP STUDIO
Hello, friends! I am Christina, a teacher by profession, coach by passion, mom, stepmom, friend, entrepreneur, and more! I am also a CRPS Warrior and have overcome severe depression and anxiety – situations that left me in rock bottom despair. Leading people into wellness has become my mission, and my upcoming book, Faith, Hope, and Love: A Fresh Path to Healing, will be a guide so others may find hope and happiness once more in their daily lives! If you know what “CRPS Warrior” means, my heart goes out to you! This is for you. Because of my journey with CRPS, I began Hope in Eden Wellness, taking a stand against needless suffering, lack of purpose, and buried identity, caused by fallout from difficulties in the medical community. I present viable options and strategies to lead people from feeling trapped and worthless because of frustrating challenges in their daily lives to living wholesome lives of intention and worth. Amazingly, the physical body often responds during this shift and begins to heal! Complex Regional Pain Syndrome*, CRPS for short, is one of, if not the most, painful conditions known to humankind. Not much has been discovered about this rare cross between an autoimmune and nervous system disorder, but many people suffer from it, with more people being diagnosed every day. There is currently no cure, and most treatments involve uncomfortable, intense, modalities, with no lasting relief. Sometimes, these modalities cause more harm than good. Hope within the CRPS community is rare to find, but I am here to open the door to a different realm of possibilities. 204
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
I successfully chose a different approach to healing from Complex Regional Pain Syndrome -- an approach that has rarely been done because it requires commitment. Sadly, many people want a quick fix to end the pain, which doesn’t exist, then succumb to the disease out of despair, as it slowly takes over more and more of their health. While grieving and anger are normal components of developing any chronic illness, we don’t have to stay there. We can find joy in the journey of our daily lives and rebuild who we are designed to be! The choice to continue suffering or create something beautiful lies in our hands. My hope is to offer insight and encouragement about this journey. CRPS is only one of several medical situations falling within these categories. The human body is an incredibly designed system, and malfunctions happen! But solutions are similar when the entire person is looked at as an interconnected being, rather than separated into compartmentalized boxes. Many people struggling with these conditions surging through their bodies have personal histories including great stress, turmoil, or anxiety. Many are survivors of abuse; many have worked themselves to the bone year after year after year. These ongoing situations take a toll on our health and well-being! Eventually, the body calls the score. My body called in the score 11 years ago. It simply couldn’t take any more! I am a survivor of domestic abuse and have endured several severely painful medical conditions since childhood. I am a recovering perfectionist and former workaholic. Being a single mom will
do that to you – who else is going to pay the bills and put a roof over our children?? How else are we going to guarantee continued employment if not through long hours of flawless work? I’m sure many of you relate! We could sit and chat for hours, days even, sharing stories, crying on each other’s shoulders, and lifting each other up simply to get through another day. My cardiologist warned me fourteen years ago that I needed to change careers because I was killing myself – he diagnosed me, not with angina, but with severe anxiety. Did I listen? No, not for another nine years. During the first seven of those nine years, I felt happy, making a difference in people’s lives! I was a teacher and had been told what a difference I was making! I cherish those moments when people came and told me the impact I was having on their lives, I really do, because chronic illness and constant pain take a huge toll on self-esteem, self-worth, and sense of purpose! I had previously survived several years in an abusive relationship, which had stripped me of my identity, worth, and memories of who I really was. It took me years to recover from the damage only five years had done to me and having become prey once, I remained prey for many years afterward. I’ve worked hard to build myself into the woman God designed me to be -- beautiful, confident, capable, creative, intelligent, even powerful! Yet also compassionate, nurturing, caring, and loving. It’s been a long journey, full of ups and downs. Just as I’d get my feet back under me, I’d get knocked back down all over again. Any one of these
CHRISTINA A. LEE Hope From The Ashes
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 205
206
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ ROCHESTER WOMAN } { IN HER OWN ENTREPRENUERS WORDS }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
successfully chose aRestricting different approach to healing from Complex Regional Pain “Reject“Ithe diet mentality. doesn’t work.” Syndrome -- an approach that has rarely been done because it requires commitment.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
hardships can wreak havoc and drive us to near insanity. CRPS is nicknamed “Suicide Disease” for good reason. My first journey through suicidal depression was a result of abuse, seeing no way out. My second was because CRPS had shattered my life. Today, however, I am living life in the moment. Over the past five years, I have been letting go of the trauma that has shaped me into who I am, continuing to learn strategies and lifestyle changes that bring peace, happiness, joy, and even physical healing. Now, it is my joy to come alongside you as you, also, navigate this journey of healing and wellness – of becoming whole again and discovering who you really are underneath all the layers! In the process, our bodies begin to heal from these ailments that have plagued us for so many years!
I do include CRPS specifically, giving insight into this vicious condition, and offering strategies that help calm and heal the nervous system. Is there a cure? I believe so. Have I found it yet? No, but I have already overcome the medical odds and been in remission for the past 6 of my 11 years with this horrific condition (supposedly only possible within the first 2 years of onset). I hope others may find relief more quickly than I did because of my years along this journey. I also integrate strategies for working through times of deep depression, overcoming severe anxiety, and discovering identity, purpose, and worth. These things are interconnected, often with chronic illness, but the journey to wholeness is unique and beautiful! Messy, but beautiful. There is no rule book, there are no cookie-cutter solutions. But there are principles that can be tapped
into for life-changing solutions! I don’t have your story, your details, or your circumstances, but we likely share similar emotions, fears, and daily challenges. So, let’s walk together for a bit, taking some time to breathe, and rekindle hope – hope that leads to happiness, joy, and fulfillment! Will you join me? *November is the month to raise awareness for CRPS, with the 1st Monday being “Color the World Orange” day! If you see public buildings or waterfalls lit in orange, it’s for raising awareness about Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. The most prominent pain symptom of CRPS is burning pain, as though the limb is on fire: our color is orange and our symbol is flames. Many of us learning how to live again identify with the phoenix rising out of the ashes.
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 207
PAY US WHAT YOU
OWE US HONORING THE DEBTS JUSTICE.
208
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ BLACK WOMEN VOICES } “Such discrimination is a contradiction of Black liberation theology espoused by the Black denominations and undermines the teachings and the praxis of the Black church. Within the context of Black liberation theology.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS by dr tunya griffin BY NSP STUDIO
I’m currently seeking representation for my dissertation topic, Overcoming Barriers to Leadership Equality for Women in the Black Church, I thought it might be a good fit for your readers. It’s the year 2021, and Black Churches are still struggling to address the Historical Injustices and Pledging Support for Black Women’s Empowerment on matters of gender equality. Even today, a crisis of a woman’s place, and ministry has continued in our businesses, churches, government, and in the larger world. Although there are many books, articles, seminar, trainings, they give knowledge about women in leadership, roles, and ministry. Nowhere, is this truer than on the particular issue of whether the Bible affirms leadership roles in the Christian Scriptures life. While the existence of leadership roles in the Christian Scriptures is ambiguous to some, there is a highly nuanced debate as to whether women can be in full community holding the highest title of leadership in the Black Church as leaders should be rejected or accepted. Historically black women have been working tirelessly to find their place and voice and churches, homes, and work. Although women have made some progress, there are still many more mountains to climb, because black male clergy leaders have developed a typology that deals specifically with the debate about the biblical teachings and the role of the status of women. In particular, the subordination of a woman to man is taught in many religious circles as gods divine plans for social relationships.
OF
The scholar, Sandra Barnes argues, The role of the black church as a change agent social activism and community involvement is seldom tested when sexual politics are concerned. The question remains whether attention to social and racial issues by black churches engendered support for women in the black church. Social Activism of the black church is inconsistent with Black Liberation Theology
My particular theological context as a female pastor is the Black Church. Laying out the historical trajectory, and the current status of women’s roles in the Black Church continues to be a hotly debated topic that has not risen to the challenge of addressing the issue of sexism as a social and biblical concern as other Black denominations have. Such discrimination is a contradiction of Black liberation theology espoused by the Black denominations and undermines the teachings and the praxis of the Black church. Within the context of Black liberation theology. Specifically, using the lens of Black liberation theology will demonstrate that our society is ready for, and we need gender equality in the Black Church. In hindsight, discourse regarding Black people’s journey of combating racism in all its forms established my social reality and shaped my consciousness, which thereby informed my understanding of the gospel, however, that same gospel can be read in different ways. This same gospel that I believed reflects my understanding of where women are in society today has been used by Black men to justify the opposite. They have used it historically to justify male dominance in the church. This can be seen in the ecclesiastical structure of the church that men hold the highest offices and all power. In 2015, when I started serving as the Congregational Pastor in a local COGIC church, it was apparent to me, the liberation that Black men experienced from oppression and all its forms did not translate fully to women. Sarah Evans, in her book, Personal Politics: The Roots of Women’s Liberation in the Civil Rights Movement & the New Left, describes the liberation and elevation of Black men in American society and the impact on Black women. She explained, “Many Black women saw the elevation of Black men in society as problematic because it was coming more and more at the expense of Black women.”
Evans describes this process as, “one of the dominant groups in society creating divisions within subordinate groups by raising some of the subordinate class at the expense of others. Therefore, Black women found themselves subjugated both by race and class and by their black male counterparts.” The challenges faced by these women as they faced entrenched and institutionalized gender roles, placed them at a similar disadvantage to the Black men they had worked alongside to help. A daunting task for some Black Churches is to work through the many questions and some of the decisions surrounding issues of gender equality. In conscience, the COGIC church is not able to support the ordination of women as Bishop. The COGIC church argues that it is not within the authority of the church to strike out what is written in the Scriptures or to innovate a new doctrine of the church. To do so undermines what the role of the Bishop is in the church. Furthermore, this has nothing to do with women not being smart enough, good enough, or qualified enough. The issue is, did God know what He was talking about? And whether we like it or don’t like it, if our rules, our standard, is Scripture, then we have to be faithful to Scripture even in a contemporary society that sees it as bigoted or old fashioned. An important issue the black church must give attention and discuss the urgent need for rectifying historical injustices faced by black men. some fascinating findings from my six years of meticulously conducted research, which involved extensive interviews with both black men and women, as well as several focus groups and listening circles. Throughout this process, I have also had the privilege of working closely with women on an individual basis. One indisputable observation that stood out to me during this extensive endeavor was the remarkable resemblance of the responses I gathered to that of Martin Luther King’s legendary “I have a dream” speech. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 209
{ SHIFT+CONTROL } } { BLACK WOMEN VOICES
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“It’s the year 2021, and Black Churches are still struggling to address the Historical Injustices and Pledging Support for Black Women’s Empowerment on matters of gender equality.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
The sentiment and passion expressed by the participants, particularly in relation to their aspirations and vision for the future, bore unmistakable resemblance to the iconic address delivered by Dr. King. My aim throughout this research was not only to gain insight into the experiences and perspectives of black individuals, but also to shed light on the remarkable continuity of dreams and aspirations that transcend time. It is truly awe-inspiring to witness how the echoes of Dr. King’s powerful words continue to resonate within the hearts and minds of black men and women today. I believe these findings hold significant implications, not only for academia but also for our society at large. They serve to remind us of the profound impact that Dr. King had, and continues to have, on the aspirations and hopes of countless individuals. In 1963, when Martin Luther King Jr. delivered what is now known as his “I have a Dream speech,” on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, he began not with utopian images of racial harmony — children holding hands, black and white breaking bread together — but with the metaphor of a bad check. “In a sense we’ve come to our nation’s capital to cash a check,” he said, in what rhetoricians would call the exordium, or introduction, of his speech. And he went on to accuse the United States of being a moral skinflint when it came to honoring the debts of justice. “It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned.” It is a stark metaphor, an accusation articulated The same metaphor can be used in the twentyfirst century to remind black clergy leaders of their commitment to black women and God. Liberation implied, and meaningful freedom to black women, but the promise was never fully realized. The Black church in this way has given black women la bad check, a check which has come back marked ‘insufficient funds,’ ” King said. 210
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
In our society, black men have regrettably “written black women a bad check marked insufficient funds.” This is a metaphorical way of expressing how black women have been let down and not adequately supported by their male counterparts over the years. It is high time we acknowledge this painful reality and work together to bring about positive change. The struggles and challenges experienced by black women—both historically and presently— need to be actively addressed and rectified. Their voices have often been marginalized and their contributions undervalued, hindering their personal and professional growth. As a community, it is our shared responsibility to ensure equality for all and create an inclusive environment where black women can thrive. To initiate this process, I propose developing concrete action plans that focus on empowering black women. This could include promoting equal opportunities in education, employment, and leadership positions, as well as supporting initiatives that amplify their voices and celebrate their achievements. By embracing diversity and providing the necessary resources, we can foster an environment where black women are recognized, appreciated, and afforded the same opportunities as their male counterparts. Moreover, it is crucial that we promote open and honest dialogue around this issue within our community. By engaging in respectful conversations and active listening, we can better understand the challenges faced by black women and work collaboratively towards a more just and equitable society. it is time for us to acknowledge the historical shortcomings faced by black women and recognize the urgency for concrete actions. We must ensure that the proverbial “check” written to black women is one characterized by abundant funds, enabling them to forge their own path towards success, empowerment, and fulfillment. In the words of Audrey Lourdes, “Your silence won’t protect you,” Conflict, Marginalization, and Peace-Building The mission of the Black church and the Black Community has seen significant growth in the past 30
years. According to David Masci, with the Pew Research Center, the historic roots of the Black Church make it the most powerful institution of racial self-help in African American communities. For many Black women recently have issued a Call to Action to resolve a crisis of marginalization. Black women charge Black men with the duty to provide equitable opportunities for the roles of Senior Pastor, Apostle, and Bishop. Given this mandate, Black men must ensure that any and all systems provide equitable opportunities and resources for senior leadership roles, as well as developmental and resource outcomes for persons from groups historically discriminated against due to gender. The necessary foundational tasks will be creating and guiding equitable partnerships with Black males, but they also need the preparation and support to do so. In particular, this charge may be challenging for Black males, specifically in certain denominations. One way of facing these challenges is to change the system in which, deeply held traditions, beliefs, practices, scriptures, and theologies have oppressed Black women. Reinhold Niehbur provides a responsible approach to concrete social issues by adding love to the structures of justice. Niebuhr asserted, “Justice is dependent on a balance of power. A justsociety or church ensures that all people have access to the instruments of power, anddiffering interests have equal opportunities to compete for resources. The highest form ofjustice will incorporate equality among members of society.” #ProtectBlackWomen4Real The social justice mission is ultimately directed toward the liberation of all, overcoming oppression, and reclaiming the prophetic voice of the church. Should be a nonnegotiable for black clergy women and men Overcoming Barriers to Leadership Equality for Women in the Black Church, is complete at 80,000 words and is the first in a planned series. The dissertation is available, in part or full, upon request. Thanks for your time and consideration!
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 211
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
212
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
ABOUT THE MEN? MEN?} }} } {{ WHAT ABOUT THE { OUR {WHAT WALKING LITTLEST ENTREPRENEUR WARRIOR
DJ MIKE DIMIDJIAN PHOTOS BY ROBYN BATY
Owner of MSD Entertainment Group Shares His Musical Odyssey For DJ Mike Dimidjian, the rhythm of life has always been set to a musical beat. Owner of the renowned MSD Entertainment Group, DJ Mike has spent decades captivating audiences with his electrifying performances. His journey from discovering vintage turntables in his grandparent’s basement to becoming a distinguished DJ is a testament to his unwavering passion for music and entertainment. The Genesis of a Musical Odyssey The spark that ignited DJ Mike’s passion for music was found in an unexpected place – his grandparent’s basement. He stumbled upon an old set of vinyl turntables and a mixer, which, as he discovered, were the original DJ equipment from Studio 54 in New York City from the 1970s. The sight of this vintage gear was nothing short of a revelation for the young DJ-to-be. Family Roots in Music and Entertainment Growing up in a family deeply rooted in music and entertainment, DJ Mike was always surrounded by live performances and melodies. His journey into DJing was a natural progression, as he felt a magnetic pull toward the world of music. The Pivotal Wedding Experience A moment of epiphany struck DJ Mike at a tender age of 10 or 11.
Attending a family wedding, he was mesmerized by the DJ’s ability to captivate the crowd. In that very instant, he realized that DJing was his calling. The power to move people through music became his ultimate passion. The Magic of Connecting with an Audience The allure of DJing for DJ Mike lies in the connection he forms with his audience. The real magic, as he puts it, happens when the night concludes, and the crowd showers him with hugs and high-fives, acknowledging an unforgettable evening. It’s the affirmation of a job well done that keeps him going. From Monster Mash to Sandstorm DJ Mike’s journey in the world of DJing has not been without its share of memorable moments. Among them, a guest’s persistent request for the “Monster Mash” at a July wedding, driven by an inexplicable love for Halloween, left a lasting impression. Challenges of the Craft One common misconception DJ Mike faces is that being a DJ only involves playing music. In reality, it’s just one of the many facets of the profession. DJing often entails long hours on one’s feet, demanding physical and mental endurance. However, DJ Mike takes it all in stride, always on the move to keep the energy alive. Staying Ahead of the Curve
To stay at the forefront of the everevolving music industry, DJ Mike subscribes to DJ pools, ensuring he’s equipped with the latest and greatest tracks. He also benefits from a global network, with a DJ colleague residing in Abu Dhabi, providing a sneak peek into upcoming music and technology. Tools of the Trade DJ Mike’s toolkit includes Audacity for creating original songs and remixes. He relishes the moment when the audience recognizes a song he has reimagined. For live sets, he relies on Rekordbox for Pioneer DJ to weave his magic. Unforgettable Moments in the Spotlight One performance etched in DJ Mike’s memory dates back to the early 2000s, a wedding reception that felt more like a club night in Boston, his hometown. The night was electric, packed with hundreds of people, and DJ Mike spun tracks that set the place on fire. DJing Beyond Expectations Perhaps one of the most unique venues DJ Mike has performed at is on a yacht owned by a renowned artist and producer in Miami. The setting added an extra layer of glamour to his musical journey. Preparing for the Perfect Set Preparation for a gig is a meticulous ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 213
216
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? }
“His journey is a testament to the enduring power of music and the magic of connecting with an audience through the turntables.” process for DJ Mike. He delves into the musical preferences and dislikes of his clients, as well as the guest list, to ensure everyone has a memorable experience. Knowing the audience is key to a successful night. Reading the Crowd
help from echo effects. EDM Enthusiast Although his DJ career may lead him down various musical paths, DJ Mike’s personal preference is clear: he’s an EDM enthusiast through and through.
With decades of experience, DJ Mike has become adept at reading the crowd. He usually enters an event with an understanding of the audience’s preferred genres. A test track at the beginning of the set helps him fine-tune his performance, ensuring everyone is on their feet.
The Ideal Audience
Adapting to Technical Challenges
Collaborations and Advice
Even the best DJs face technical glitches at times. DJ Mike once had a drink spill onto his turntable, forcing him to adapt with a single working turntable and a backup CD deck. The show must go on, and it did, with some
DJ Mike has had the privilege of collaborating with industry heavyweight Roger Sanchez, providing him with invaluable insights into the art of music. When asked about advice for aspiring DJs, his words of wisdom are simple
For DJ Mike, the ideal audience is one that brings boundless energy to the dance floor. Their enthusiasm fuels his performance, creating a symbiotic relationship that defines his DJing style.
yet profound: “Don’t try to be like anybody else. Be yourself and create your own style.” Beyond DJing: MSD Entertainment Group While DJing is at the heart of MSD Entertainment Group, they offer a range of services beyond DJ performances, including live music, karaoke, trivia, sound, and lighting. The group’s dedication to entertaining audiences knows no bounds. In DJ Mike Dimidjian, the music world has a luminary who has spent his life immersed in the world of sound and has left an indelible mark on the hearts and feet of those who have danced to his beats. His journey is a testament to the enduring power of music and the magic of connecting with an audience through the turntables. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 217
{ ROCHESTER WOMAN ENTREPRENUERS } { WHAT ABOUT THE MEN? { SHIFT+CONTROL } }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Although hismentality. DJ careerRestricting may lead him down various musical paths, DJ Mike’s personal “Reject the diet doesn’t work.” preference is clear: he’s an EDM enthusiast through and through.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
218
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
WARRIOR WOMEN
WITH DESIRE CRUZ
220
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ WARRIOR WOMEN } “ In the early morning I heard God whisper to me “do it.” So I did. I called about 45 women from all over the country and said I want to create a book where we get to share our story but also the lesson we have learned from the story.” BY DESIRE CRUZ
My family was sitting around the table talking about legacy. Our family word for the year. My kids just wrote a book with their dad about grief from a child’s perspective and we were discussing how someone from a different country was reading it to his child before bed. It was beautiful. I stepped back to let Jesse and his girls create legacy together, as their father I didn’t want to come in and overtake his moment. We began explaining to our teens how they touch many peoples Lives they may never know from this book. Families who were reading it that never sent a letter or message. And how that’s true impact. Then I thought to myself what have I done as their mother to do the same? Do my kids even know my story? Is it written down? Will it be passed down? I realized in that moment I have done nothing for legacy besides some financial pieces the kids will get if I passed. I spent the whole night awake, going over it numerous times and was very dissatisfied with the facts I just had to swallow. In the early morning I heard God whisper to me “do it.” So I did. I called about 45 women
from all over the country and said I want to create a book where we get to share our story but also the lesson we have learned from the story. Told them my vision…and how we will end gaps in families that exist…. Legacies will be passed
on in this book. Along with the lessons. As I began the calls I immediately saw the need. There were many who never shared their story to their families. So here we are into series 2 of warrior women turning life lessons into legacy.
Girls from all over the country and now abroad have come together to do just that. Together we will rise, encourage, and lift women. About the Author Together we have locked arms lift our businesses created a community of trust and empowerment, and continue to encourage women to find their voice and share their stories. friendships have been made collaborations have continued to evolve and I now have a tribe who rides with me through this life two years ago. I prayed about this exact thing and now here I am into series 2 that will be launching in November I plan on doing this series 3 after January. i’m on a mission to find as many women as possible, who want to share their story, and their legacy, along with their lessons to the world. if that is you and you would love to join our tribe and join our series please contact me on Facebook at Desire Cruz or on Instagram at DCruz 07042014 let’s continue to empower women together ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 221
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
222
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 223
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
224
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
CARE AUTHORITY {{ SENIOR SENIOR { WALKING CAREWARRIOR AUTHORITY } }}
WHAT IS AN ELDER CARE CONSULTANT OR PLACEMENT AGENT? At Senior Care Authority we are both elder care consultants and senior living placement agents. An Elder Care Consultant can help a family understand how to keep an older loved one safe. There are obvious topics to address such as mom can no longer get up and down stairs, or dad cannot remember to turn the stove off or when to shower and maintain personal hygiene. There are also many important details many folks are not aware of to consider. What is the trajectory of any illness or frailty? What is covered under insurance, and how do we pay for the needed support not covered? As elder care consultants our job is to obtain a thorough understanding of all the seniors’ capabilities and needs past, current, and anticipated in the future. With good information, we can provide an understanding of all available options and keep families focused on the most important points. Elder care consultants or senior care advisors can fill a variety of roles: dementia education, legal considerations, caregiver support, exploring living options, identifying resources, family communication, level of care assessments, paying for care, and more. An elder care consultant is the person you turn to during a difficult aging situation when you aren’t sure who to speak with or where to turn. Knowing what is normal, which resources are available, and how to handle a challenging diagnosis can feel like an endless maze with little support. Elder care consultants fill the support role – not only for caregivers but for their loved ones as well. Placement agents help families understand the options when a senior
cannot remain in a home or apartment and needs to move to a community for safety and support. The levels of support, licensing, cost, and availability vary widely. There are more than 100 communities and facilities in and around Rochester that provide anything from convenience and socialization to 24x7 care for a bedridden elder. As with updating a will or estate plan, reviewing insurance coverage, and maintaining a current health care proxy or power of attorney, a family discussion about considering support options is often
put off or outdated. Families often find themselves in a crisis mode after an accident or injury puts a senior in the hospital or nursing rehabilitation and a “safe discharge” requires expensive in-home nursing support or a move to a licensed community. More than 50 area communities partner with us to help them find new residents who match their care level(s) and financial requirements. We have current data on all area communities enabling us to quickly identify compatible local options and support a transition throughout
the process to ensure the best available support meets the needs of the senior. What are your credentials for advising seniors and their support systems? Senior Care Authority opened in 2017 as the first local, full-service senior placement agency. We are A+ rated members of the Better Business Bureau. Owners Dave Schanz and I are board members of the Greater Rochester Area Partnership for the Elderly, committee chairs, and I am the current president of this valuable not-for-profit organization. The Greater Rochester Area Partnership for the Elderly (GRAPE) is a notfor-profit membership organization. Membership consists of professionals, volunteers, students, and other interested persons who serve the older adult population in the Greater Rochester area and aspire to improve the quality of services for them. GRAPE accomplishes this by sharing expertise, knowledge, and skills, and by acting as advocates for seniors in ways deemed appropriate by the membership. GRAPE seeks to foster a sense of camaraderie among professionals; provide high-quality education and training; influence social and public policies and facilitate debate about emerging issues. GRAPE’s keystone publication is The ElderPages Directory, the most current and accurate upto-date listing of elder services in the Greater Rochester area. Also offered online, consumers and health care professionals can rely upon detailed and comprehensive information to make appropriate referrals throughout the elder care community. This summer after years of volunteer work the latest ElderPages Directory was published with ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 225
{ SENIOR CARE AUTHORITY } “Since we began helping families in 2017 at least 4 other local senior advisors have joined us providing white glove service to seniors. We welcome the competition who, along with Senior Care Authority all offer personalized face-to-face support for families in need of expertise. ”
YOU ARE ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
the most current and comprehensive list of senior support services in the area. We obtained and maintain certification with the Society of Certified Senior Advisors; The Certified Senior Advisor (CSA)® is the leading certification for professionals serving older adults and is a designation awarded to qualified individuals. Earning the CSA certification requires individuals to pass a rigorous exam and to uphold the highest ethical standards for the benefit and protection of the health and welfare of seniors. CSAs are multidisciplinary professionals who have demonstrated advanced knowledge in the multiple processes of aging. We are also Certified Dementia Practitioners; the Council was formed to promote global standards of excellence in dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease education to professionals (who support the healthcare industry), caregivers, front-line staff, First Responders, and correctional personnel who provide services to dementia clients. Co-owner Dave Schanz is certified to perform the Keeping Us Safe Beyond Driving with Dignity program helping families identify the driving safety of older adults. Senior Care Authority of Greater Rochester are members of the National Placement Referral Alliance, serving senior adults’ best interests and giving them valuable peace of mind. Working with a trusted advocate and knowledgeable expert, like an NPRA Member, matters. Members of NPRA are bound by our Code of Ethics and 226
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
abide by NPRA’s Best Practices, giving seniors and their families transparency and peace of mind when searching for suitable senior living and care options. Previously families would have to choose between paying consultants for help or searching online. Most consumers looking for senior living are unaware that very few if any communities publish their rent and care rates which can run between $3,000 and $12,000 per month depending on the room or apartment size and the dozens of NYS Department of Health regulated licensures which determine how much support a community can offer. Online marketer’s own internet search optimization (SEO) inevitably come up first when searching for senior living. They force consumers to share their phone and email contact information to find “pricing” which is then sold and distributed widely to communities that may or may not be appropriate resulting in a barrage of incoming sales calls that often scare seniors and families from connecting with local experts who actually live, work, and visit senior communities daily to maintain the important key availability, care, cost, and amenity information needed to make an educated decision. Since we began helping families in 2017 at least 4 other local senior advisors have joined us providing white glove service to seniors. We welcome the competition who, along with Senior Care Authority all offer personalized face-to-face support for families in need of expertise. You provide a diverse portfolio of support
and advice to families; how do you derive revenue for your company? The largest part of our business is free placement support. While this sounds too good to be true, we always explain to our clients exactly how our placement fees are received so they know and understand our business model. To be specific, in almost all cases when we help a family find an independent living, assisted living, enriched living, enhanced assisted living, memory care, or enhanced memory care community for a loved one we are paid a fee by the community for helping them find a compatible resident. They are more than happy to pay us a fee as they are contacted all day, every day by families looking for safe living options for a loved one. All the care levels and licensures, financial commitments and costs, amenities and support, availability and continuums vary by community and organization. When we work with a client, we take the time to get a thorough understanding of all the care needs and available resources so we can offer simple, clear explanations of compatible options very quickly. We personally introduce the client to the communities and visit the community with the client whenever possible. We do not tell clients where to go, we inform them of the options that best match their resources and preferences so they can make an intelligent choice. If the client moves into the community and stays, we receive a fee from the community. 90% of communities pay these fees for between 60-80% of all new residents who join. Much of the time these fees are paid to online marketers and the client has no idea by sharing their name
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 227
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
228
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL } { SENIOR CARE AUTHORITY } “We obtained and maintain certification with the Society of Certified Senior Advisors; The Certified Senior Advisor (CSA)® is the leading certification for professionals serving older adults and is a designation awarded to qualified individuals.”
YOU ARE ENOUGH. BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
e and contact information they have agreed to have the online marketer act as their agent for up to 7 years and the communities pay that agent. We offer several privately paid services as well; this is only after a free consultation and a signed agreement for our services. To name a few of these services; senior driving safety, long-term care insurance claims support, supporting or checking in on a senior when family is out of town, managing in-home care, ongoing consultation. We also help families find nursing home placement which has become very difficult and complex, nursing homes cannot pay consultant and placement fees so we can help families find a better nursing home, faster, and guide them to minimize financial exposure to maximize the value of their resources. There are some communities you do not partner with; do you offer clients support for those communities? Yes, of course. There are a few communities that simply do not need agents and consultants like us. These communities often have their own senior apartments and/or skilled nursing rehabilitation services and can point families to their own assisted living and memory care communities daily. They tend to be the most expensive and exclusive communities and are usually very nice but often have long wait lists incompatible with a senior who needs to move quickly. We educate consumers on all options and introduce the consumer to the right decision-makers in these out-of-network communities so they can see if there is a fit. If we are not
contracted with the community and need ongoing support to qualify, we offer a privately paid option for helping them through the process. There are many cases where we are not paid for the extensive support and expertise we provide; it is simply a part of the business we are happy to support knowing our clients will often point others our way in the future. It all works out in the end. Outside of the experience we have helping more than 2,000 families over the past 6 years we have access to the NYS inspection records and are in communities daily. There are communities we would not encourage clients to consider due to poor performance history, complaints, safety violations, and financial instability. Again, if a client is interested, we will provide the information needed to vet such a community and encourage them to look beyond our data and opinions if these communities are of interest, or the only available option. As Certified Senior Advisors we are bound to act like a fiduciary financial planner working with a client investor. Maintaining the certification requires we offer all options to families with a senior in need, including many for services we do not provide such as where to get a “senior apartment”, who to contact for home care, elder law, financial planning, home safety equipment, public assistance, etc. There are many rewards beyond the revenue we enjoy as senior advisors, not the least of which is helping often overwhelmed people in crisis find solutions regardless of our compensation. More than half of the families we have helped since 2017
have not provided us with revenue, but our care and expertise come back to us when they encourage others to call us first when elder care is needed. What are the options for families when an older loved one becomes unsafe at home? We are a one-stop shop for keeping seniors safe. Finding safe and supportive senior living options, driving safety, helping support seniors when the family is out of town, and other specialties we have touched on. When the needed support or expertise is outside the scope of our business, we utilize all the GRAPE, CSA, NPRA, and other tools we have to point folks in the right direction. For example, families often contact us for help finding area in-home care, we have a comprehensive list of local experts in that space we share with them to help. We have also worked with many if not most of the area’s senior service providers and are happy to share the experience our clients had using these services in the past. In addition to our services, we frequently advise our clients to obtain information from elder law attorneys, financial advisors, moving and downsizing managers, durable medical equipment, geriatric care managers, and many other experts who can help the senior and their family. Who typically supports the seniors and their families when moving to a senior living community is needed? Sometimes, no one, which is very sad. More typically it is the family of the senior, often a daughter. Doctors may help, though suggesting a patient move to a senior community can result in the ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 229
{ SENIOR CARE AUTHORITY }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“At Senior Care Authority we are both elder care consultants and senior living placement agents. An Elder Care Consultant can help a family understand how to keep an older loved one safe.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
loss of a patient who does not feel they need help and support. The VA and other community resources can provide general information. Many times, it is the social worker or case manager in a medical facility. Very few people plan or look forward to joining a supportive senior living community. Many of our clients do not consider supportive senior living until their loved one ends up in the hospital or rehabilitation nursing home recovering from an accident and illness until their insurance runs out and are blindsided when they are told they cannot be safely discharged to return home without 24x7 care or going directly to a licensed care community. Facilities often require a waiver to be signed by the family releasing the hospital or rehab from any liability for discharging a patient to an unsafe environment. If the insurance runs out before the bed is empty patients are charged $500-750 per day to remain until a safe solution is found. This becomes the job of the social worker who is typically under great pressure to confirm a safe discharge. My partner’s daughter is an MSW, Master of Social Work. We have one on our team. Social work is very difficult and social workers have many tasks for which they are responsible for ever increasing caseloads. They do tremendous work helping patients and families but simply do not have the time or expertise to know and understand the costs and specific care levels communities have. They can provide a list for families to check and make recommendations but often look to experts like us to help find the best available and affordable options quickly when time is of the essence. There are many options, some small, some critical to consider when finding 230
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
supportive senior living. Cost and location of course but there are also many things a senior may not consider that can end up with them making the wrong choice and having to go through another disruptive move. No one in this market has more current and accurate information on finding a community. Just a few things that are often overlooked include; can a spouse live with, are pets allowed, can the community help with equipment like a CPAP, where can the weightbearing support of one, or two aides be provided, who can support sliding scale insulin, can meals be delivered to rooms, what types of care go beyond the licensure of the community, can or will the community assisted with incontinence, are rooms furnished, is there a fee to join, dressing, liquid or pureed diets, does being forgetful mean “memory care” is needed. I could go on and on with all the important points we cover with families who when in crisis can easily forget to ask about. We have touched on how difficult and frustrating it can be to get important, detailed information on the care and cost of senior living communities through the internet. Unlike finding a home or apartment, the priority is the level of care which cannot be assumed. The pricing found through internet marketers is simply a state or regional average, not the actual community cost and detailed options. For example, to join a licensed senior community requires an application, NYS DoH required a doctor’s medical input, a TB and possibly Covid screen, and most importantly a visit from a community nurse who provides a thorough medical evaluation of the seniors’ needs to outline a care plan. With this and other information,
the executive director, nurse, financial officer, and marketing team meet to ensure the senior can be safely cared for. If all that adds up the community makes an offer to join and quotes the total cost of the care which also varies with the size and configuration of the room or apartment. What are some misconceptions people have about your services? That we are selling something. We are not, in fact, we do not recommend a community except in the rare case that only one community is available. Our value is the ability to identify many solutions that meet the care, needs, preferences, and affordability so a senior and family can decide for themselves what is the best fit. Another misperception is that we push certain communities. As CSAs, we must put the client’s needs first regardless of how we are compensated. We often connect with families after they have already been through the unpleasant experience of looking for information on the internet and have found themselves bombarded with phone calls after their information has been sold and shared. It can be hard to connect with someone afraid to answer the phone! Hundreds of our clients have taken the time to positively rate our service on our website, Google, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Yelp, or have called and written thanking us for our caring guidance. We are happy to share these with anyone who does not understand the great support we offer or is skeptical after someone has tried to sell them on a single solution.
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 231
STORMY finding a furever home
232
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ THE ANIMAL CARE CORNER { ANIMAL CARE CORNER } } “In a heartfelt effort to secure Stormy’s adoption, Jess created a compelling video sharing Stormy’s story and her desperate need for a home.” BY THE ACS TEAM
Stormy came to Animal Care Sanctuary as a transfer from a shelter in New Jersey that was overpopulated and struggling to cope with the overwhelming number of dogs entering into their care. Alongside three other canine companions, Stormy embarked on a journey to ACS in hope of a brighter future. Despite her past, her arrival at the age of approximately 5 years was characterized by an infectious enthusiasm, evident in her endearing smiles and joyful wiggles. While her full background and history are unknown, she had spent a significant portion of her life in shelters and one year at ACS.
ACS’s commitment to training and behavioral support would play a pivotal role in her life. The organization’s fortunate ability to provide training and behavior assistance significantly enhances the prospects of adoption for its shelter residents. All dogs undergo a comprehensive behavioral assessment upon intake, which includes evaluations of their interactions with humans, other dogs, and resource guarding, such as food and toys. Stormy’s assessment was promising overall, with one notable exception – her difficulty in interacting respectfully and appropriately with other dogs. This led to her enrollment in
ACS’s Behavior Modification Program, especially considering that behavioral issues consistently rank among the top reasons for dogs ending up in shelters each year. Stormy participated in the program throughout her entire stay at ACS and received continued support post adoption. Over time at the shelter, Stormy began displaying signs of frustration, anxiety, and stress, which is often seen in long-stay animals within the shelter environment. ACS generally provides every dog in their care the opportunity to participate in playgroups. It is an important outlet ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 233
SHIFT+CONTROL } { THE {ANIMAL CARE CORNER } “Alongside three other canine companions, Stormy embarked on a journey to ACS in hope of a brighter future.”
that allows dogs to socialize with one another in a fenced and supervised environment. They can run and play together or simply relax. Sadly, ACS could not give Stormy the choice to partake in the playgroup sessions due to her challenges in interacting safely with other dogs. A turning point eventually arrived when Jess, a preveterinary student, chose Stormy as her foster dog during her six-week internship at ACS. This change offered Stormy time away from the kennel and introduced her to the comforts of a typical home setting. While spending time with Jess, ACS learned all about Stormy’s days and nights, and how they were filled with her favorite activities. She loved meeting new people, exploring her surroundings, going on hiking adventures, and tagging along to go out to eat. She even received extensive one-on-one training, specifically tailored to address her reactivity toward other dogs. Jess’s dedication to Stormy’s well-being was unwavering through their every interaction. She was determined to find Stormy a permanent home before her internship came to an end and would have to leave her behind. In a heartfelt effort to secure Stormy’s adoption, Jess created a compelling video sharing Stormy’s story and her desperate need for a home. The response was swift, and 234
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
Stormy was adopted the following day after the video’s release. Celebrations were to be had but only to find out about an unexpected turn of events, Stormy was brought back to the shelter less than 24 hours later. Stormy’s adopters then had a change of
heart after returning her to the shelter. They requested another chance to support her, asking to foster her this time. Again, stormy was only in their care for just under one more month before she came back to ACS. Awaiting the day of her permanent adoption, everyone at the shelter was unwilling to give up on Stormy. ACS recognized the importance of revisiting the training she had been through with ACS staff and Jess, and quickly got to work with her. Today, we are thrilled to announce that Ms.
Stormy has officially found her forever home and was adopted by a woman that lives in Long Island. Stormy’s new mom came all the way to the shelter in East Smithfield, Pennsylvania to adopt her. Since being home, Stormy is already so loved by her new mom. Though the transition has not been without its challenges, Stormy’s mom is wholeheartedly committed to helping her acclimate to her new environment. She is providing the care and support that Stormy needs, and for that, ACS is so grateful. Each year, about 6.5 million companion animals find their way into animal shelters across the U.S. It is crucial to understand the larger picture surrounding shelter dogs and the relentless efforts by shelters that cater to the physical and emotional needs of animals, while striving to find them suitable homes. Stormy’s journey, transitioning from shelter life to a loving home, shows the challenges and rewards of this process. With each success story, we are reminded that every dog, no matter their past, has the capacity for a bright and loving future. Those with shelter backgrounds often just require a little extra tender loving care to thrive in their new homes. We extend our best wishes to Stormy and her family as they enter into this new chapter.
Grooming
These prices are an estimate. They may change with condition, breed, size, and coat of your pet.
ACS is a Non-Profit Public Charity. Please use this code to donate.
www.AnimalCareSanctuary.org
ZONTA CLUB OF ROCHESTER
236
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ WOMAN ON THE RISE } “Zonta International (established in 1919) is a global network of individuals, who are committed to equal rights and a life free of violence for all women and girls.“
WHO WE ARE
Zonta International (established in 1919) is a global network of individuals, who are committed to equal rights and a life free of violence for all women and girls. Our mission is to be a leading global organization, empowering women worldwide through service and advocacy. Zonta International is nonpartisan and nonsectarian.
in 62 countries. Zonta International Headquarters is located in Oak Brook, Illinois, USA. Zonta’s first club was chartered in Buffalo, New York on November 8, 1919. Membership grew rapidly and by 1920, a confederation of nine Zonta clubs had formed with 600 members.
and constructive manner. Members have an opportunity to participate, grow and serve in a friendly, responsible atmosphere. There is also an opportunity to engage in a wider, international network of clubs by attending area meetings, district conferences, inter-district meetings and international conventions.
The Zonta Club of Rochester was one of
The term ZONTA, meaning honest and trustworthy, is derived from Lakhota (Teton Dakota), a language of the Native American Sioux peoples. It was adopted in 1919 to symbolize the combined qualities of honesty and trust, inspiration, and the ability to work together for service and world understanding.
International service projects have contributed more than $359 million dollars to improve women’s health, provide better economic opportunities and prevent gender-based violence in 71 countries. Zonta International has partnered with agencies of the United Nations and other nongovernmental organizations (ngo’s) to accomplish these projects. Early Zontians were among the first generation of collegeeducated women, the first generation of American women to vote and a part of the growing legion of women entering the workforce. They had a commitment to ensure equal rights for women and improving women’s lives. Now in its second century, Zonta remains dedicated to its mission and focused on key topics to achieve that mission such as expanding education, ending gender-based violence and eliminating child marriage. There are currently 1,133 Zonta clubs
ZONTA’S MISSION AND VISION
Our mission is to be a leading global organization, empowering women worldwide through service and advocacy.
the five original clubs formed in 1919. Today, we have a club of about 20-25 people who meet on a regular basis, do fund-raising and advocacy activities to promote the Zonta mission and who participate in service activities with local agencies whose work corresponds with our mission. Our members are leaders in their club and encourage all being heard in a respectful
Our vision is to establish a world in which women’s rights are recognized as human rights and every woman is able to achieve her full potential. In such a world, women have access to all needed resources, are represented in decisionmaking positions on an equal basis with men and no woman lives in fear of violence.
WHAT WE DO
Advocacy: Zonta advocacy is action taken in the public interest or for the greater good with respect to empowering ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 237
{ WOMEN ON THE RISE} } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Our mission is to be a leading global organization, empowering women worldwide through service and advocacy. Zonta International is nonpartisan and nonsectarian.”
women and girls and promoting and protecting their human rights. International: Zonta International uses its strong voice to present our priorities and demand focused action when advocating for gender equality and women’s human rights worldwide. Through statements, United Nations actions and partnerships, Zonta works for gender equity in education, improved economic status and an end to genderbased violence. This advocacy is primarily through its General Consultative Status with ECOSOC at the UN since 1969 and its Participatory Status at the Council of Europe (CoE) since 1983. For decades, Zonta has also partnered with UNICEF, UNFPA and other global organizations. National: Zonta International, districts, areas and clubs draft letters and send petitions to national governments to initiate or influence hearings and legislation on issues affecting women and girls. Local: Zonta clubs and all members monitor laws and policies and their impact on women, participate in hearings and public meetings with local politicians and administrators and host speakers and panels to raise awareness about issues affecting women at the local level. Zonta Says No To Violence Against Women Program In 2012, Zonta International launched “Zonta Says NO to Violence Against Women”, a global campaign to raise awareness of and increase advocacy actions to end violence against women and girls around the world. Every year, during the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Based Violence (November 238
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
25 – December 10), Zonta clubs and Zontians around the world take action and advocate to end gender-based violence in all its forms. In addition, our Rochester club is a participating member of the local Domestic Violence Consortium which actively works on behalf of victims of violence.
of toiletries, dental supplies, grooming and personal use items that are needed at various shelters, such as for VOA Working Wardrobe, Willow, YWCA, and Angels of Mercy, to name just a few. Grants issued by the Zonta Club of Rochester in 2023 total US$40,500 to the following agencies:
Service: Zonta not only advocates for women’s rights and gender equality in all facets of life, we also partner with UN agencies such as UNFPA, UNICEF USA and others to financially support projects to empower women and girls to understand their rights and realize their full potential. Following are just part of our International Service Projects which are adopted at the International Convention every two years.
Brightstar Community: Outreach & Support for Female Survivors of Human Sex Trafficking. Girls On The Run for One full scholarship to their program. Open Door Mission: Purchase of a washer & dryer at the Coldwater Women and Children Home. The Margaret House: Women’s Empowerment Program. Cameron Community Ministries: Ambassadors Leadership Program for Girls. Girl Scouts of Western New York: Creating Women Leaders of Tomorrow Program. Willow Domestic Violence Center: In-Person Title IX Summit for K-12 Administrators.
International Projects have focused on issues such as: - Education - Equality and human rights - Economic empowerment - Gender-based violence - Child marriage - Health - Climate Change - And much more (see w w w. zo n t a . o r g f o r d e t a i l s ) Clubs conduct local projects that are in line with our mission, focused on education, empowerment, ending gender-based violence and more. Our Rochester club members support various local agencies by assisting with their galas and fundraising events, such as Catholic Family Center’s Empty Bowls event and St. Joseph’s Neighbor Center gala. We also do monthly collections
Education and Youth Development: These Zonta-led programs are directly funded by contributions by the clubs to the Zonta Foundation for Women. Amelia Earhart Fellowship: Established in 1938 in honor of famed aviator and Zontian, Amelia Earhart. Up to 30 fellowships of US$10,000 each are awarded annually for women pursuing Ph.D/doctoral degrees in aerospace engineering and space sciences. Jane M. Klausman Women in Business Scholarship: Established in 1998 from a bequest by Zontian Jane M. Klausman,
{ WOMEN ON THE RISE} } { SHIFT+CONTROL “The Zonta Club of Rochester was one of the five original clubs formed in 1919.”
37 International scholarships of US$5,000 each are awarded annually for women pursuing degrees in business leading to a business management career. Young Women in Public Affairs Award: Established in 1990, 37 International awards of US$5,000 each are awarded annually for young women, ages 1619, who demonstrate leadership skills and commitment to public service and civic causes. Women in STEM Scholarship (pilot program): Began in 2018 as Women in Technology Scholarship has been expanded to cover all STEM topics and is voted to continue every other year at the International convention. 32 International awards of US$5,000 each are awarded biannually for women pursuing degrees in STEMrelated fields. Z Clubs and Golden Z Clubs: Established in 1948, these programs help high school, college and university students develop leadership skills, promote career exploration and encourage members to participate in community, school and international service. These clubs are sponsored by local Zonta clubs who provide resources, information and guidance to support Z club and Golden Z club members, as they work to improve their communities and the world. Golden Z club members may also hold membership in a Zonta club.
FUNDING
The Zonta Foundation for Women is a not-for-profit charitable organization 240
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
supported solely by contributions from clubs, individuals and friends of Zonta who share a commitment to gender equality and a life free of violence for all women and girls. Every biennium, the Zonta Foundation for Women provides more than US$4 million for Zonta International’s programs and projects that benefit thousands of women around the world. Visit zonta.org/foundation for more information. Clubs contribute at least 1/3 of funds raised locally to the Zonta Foundation for
Women to support Zonta International’s service and educational award programs. All members are also encouraged to make individual contributions to the Foundation. Each club determines the amount of annual dues that its members pay to support the club’s operating expenses as well as those of Zonta International. Contributions to the Zonta Foundation for Women are used exclusively to support the International projects and programs, while the remaining 2/3 of the funds raised locally are used exclusively to present grants to local agencies as
noted above.
BENEFITS OF BEING A MEMBER OF ZONTA INTERNATIONAL
Access to a global network by participating in club meetings, service projects and fundraising activities. Actively engaging in service to and advocacy for women in our community and around the world by advocating on women’s issues both locally and globally. Develop Leadership Skills by attending area meetings, district conferences and international conventions and taking on leadership roles at the club level and beyond. Make lifelong friendships both within the club and beyond. Cross-cultural sharing and greater understanding of the global issues affecting women and girls by bringing new individuals to join and/ or support the club and by supporting International service projects.
HOW TO CONTACT US
We are always looking for people who are interested in joining in our efforts. Feel free to contact us or visit our web sites and Face Book page for more information. www.Zonta.org www.zontarochester.org zontarochester@gmail.com Tel: 585-442-4552 PO Box 10545, Rochester, NY, 14610
{ WOMAN ON THE RISE }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 241
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
242
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ HER EDGE }
THEY SAY IT’S YOUR YOU ARE ENOUGH. BIRTHDAY BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
I have a big birthday coming up. I can’t get my head wrapped around the number. It sounds old. I remember when my mom turned 60 and I thought she was old. I should have been kinder. I dragged my feet into the last decade. Angry and afraid, my job had just blown up, and at the age of 49, I was forced to start my career over. I was facing a life crisis. Thank God I didn’t have a crystal ball. Things only got harder. But the chaos and change that followed these past ten years have been replaced with calm and confidence as I approach this next stage of life. While the number gives me pause, like no other birthday has, I am at peace with myself and honored to hit this rite of passage that is denied to so many women my age. My fifties prepared me for the maturity required to begin this last quarter of life. Admittedly I often wake up feeling like a car with 100-thousand miles on the odometer. I have a new ailment just about every week. A sore toe from tripping for no reason, a DEXA scan that says I have osteopenia, and you can play Connect the Dots with my sunspots. But I am healthy and grateful for it. My best friend has just been diagnosed with cancer. My fifties have been a crash course in
humility, patience, and acceptance. I lost a job, built a business from scratch, gutted a house, bought a dog that has seizures, got my daughter successfully through the awkward years and off to college, and faced my mom’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis. Each one brought with it highs and immeasurable lows. There were days when I thought I could not get out of bed and face the responsibility of it all. But I did. I can see now how every experience, for better or for worse, allowed me to evolve into the woman I was meant to be. Not the mother, daughter, sister, partner, or friend – the woman - I was meant to be. It would be easy to pull the blanket over my head and slink into this dreaded next phase of life, where the stakes will be much higher. If I did that, the lessons and heartache would be wasted. At 60, I will have been around for just about 22,000 days, not that I’m counting. All I know is this version of me has way more to offer than my twenty-year-old self did. I’m smarter, mentally stronger, and have more empathy. My mindset has shifted from “I want, and need to have” to, “I want to enjoy and appreciate what I have.” Turning 60 has me embracing smart healthy habits, for my mind, body, and spirit so I can take full advantage of my newfound wisdom and power.
FAMILY MATTERS I love my family and can now forgive my parents for not being able to give me everything. They gave what they could. I resented their tough love, long stories, and expectations. I have learned they simply did their best, as any parent does. I should have spent more time asking how they were. My mom was a widow at 60, and my dad suffered from depression when he was my age. Horribly flawed and in their own pain, they both still showed up and loved me anyway. ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT’S ME, ROBIN I have always ‘believed’ in God but had little faith in myself. A good friend invited me to church on the cusp of my mom’s diagnosis. I have been going and listening and exploring ever since. Learning to have faith in God has helped me to turn over all the control I thought I needed to have. It is not about getting what you pray for or asking for forgiveness. It is a choice to believe in something bigger than yourself, and know you are never alone. REMEMBER YOUR ROOTS We do not choose our family, but we do get to pick our friends. I love my tribe, even the members who have moved on. Some friendships are for a season. They are born out of need, proximity, or shared interests like kids or work. The impact of these friendships exists even if we are no longer in touch. The mom friends who sat in the bleachers, the crew from my early television reporting days, or high school friends whom I shared my earliest memories with. Then there are ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 243
{ COACHING WITH KAREN } { HER EDGE } “I cannot turn back time, erase my belly, or my lines. Learning to love myself is hard, it takes intention and practice. It is the gift I am giving myself.”
over decades. They are the few who call, text, or just show up. My mother always said, if you have one or two good friends in life, consider yourself lucky. I am. TOSS THE BUCKET LIST I have never had a big bucket list. Yes, I would love to spend three weeks 244
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
traveling in Europe, have dinner with Kevin Costner, or skydive out of a plane for the thrill of it all. I probably won’t. Instead, I am choosing to live my life better. Trying new exercises, creating better sleep habits, and nourishing my body rather than just defaulting to my single girlie meals to lose a few pounds. My water bottle is with me
always. I try to fill my bucket every day with good moments. I cannot turn back time, erase my belly, or my lines. Learning to love myself is hard, it takes intention and practice. It is the gift I am giving myself.
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 245
BELLA VITA
BOUTIQUE “Bella Vita Boutique’s origins are deeply rooted in the friendship and family bonds that unite its founders, Katie and Shelly.”
246
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ FASHION FORWARD }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Katie and Shelly have found immense joy in managing Bella Vita Boutique, especially in the memorable moments they share with their customers.” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
In the world of online boutiques, it takes something special to stand out from the crowd. Enter Bella Vita Boutique, a gem founded by the dynamic duo, Katie and Shelly, who not only share a passion for fashion and home decor but also an unwavering commitment to delivering the best to their customers. Their story is not just about running a boutique; it’s a testament to the power of passion, dedication, and a touch of heartfelt service. The Birth of Bella Vita Boutique Bella Vita Boutique’s origins are deeply rooted in the friendship and family bonds that unite its founders, Katie and Shelly. Friends and cousin-in-laws, their shared love for all things fashion and home decor was the spark that ignited their entrepreneurial journey. With a penchant for discovering items that bring beauty to life, they found themselves constantly sought after by family and friends for their expertise in decorating rooms or finding the perfect attire for special occasions. When their youngest children embarked on their school journey, the two women found themselves yearning to create something of their own—a business that would fuel their shared passion. The result? Bella Vita Boutique, an online women’s boutique that combines beautiful clothing, accessories, and decor with the personal touch of two women who truly understand their customers. A Personal Touch What sets Bella Vita Boutique apart from
the crowd is the hands-on approach of Katie and Shelly. Every item in their store is personally selected, reflecting their commitment to delivering products that are not just on-trend but possess a timeless quality. The focus is on providing highquality, yet affordable options, ensuring that every piece offers both comfort and style. Their curated collection is a reflection of their experience as mothers, understanding the need for practical, attractive clothing and accessories that can be worn every day and dressed up for special occasions. Over the years, the sling bag has emerged as the boutique’s top-selling item, thanks to its versatility and convenience. With various colors, sizes, and materials to choose from, there’s something to suit every taste and occasion. Fashion Trends at Bella Vita Boutique At Bella Vita Boutique, fashion is all about the bags. What’s not to love? Their offerings are cute, unique, and versatile. Many of the bags come with eye-catching guitar straps that add an extra layer of style. Additionally, sweaters and sweatshirts have captured the hearts of their customers, offering a cozy and comfortable yet distinct look that stands out from the everyday. Creating a Stellar Shopping Experience For Bella Vita Boutique, the key to success lies in being relatable, accessible, and knowledgeable about their products. While social media plays a vital role, the duo actively participates in local vendor events, forging connections with their
customers and the community. They offer free delivery to local customers and are committed to ensuring complete satisfaction. “We encourage those who are not satisfied to reach out to us so we can make it right,” says Shelly, emphasizing the importance of customer satisfaction. Joy and Challenges of Boutique Management Katie and Shelly have found immense joy in managing Bella Vita Boutique, especially in the memorable moments they share with their customers. One heartwarming example is a young man who purchased their “mom tote” as a gift for his mother, creating a special, cherished moment for both the boutique owners and the grateful son. On the flip side, the most significant challenge they’ve faced is the realm of social media. Both women admit to being apprehensive about putting themselves out there initially, but they overcame this hurdle by simply taking the plunge. They recognized that it was a vital aspect of their business and committed to it, ultimately realizing that it could be an opportunity for connection and engagement with their customers. Curating with Care Curating a collection that aligns with brand values and customer preferences is at the core of Bella Vita Boutique’s success. They have a keen eye for what their customers seek: affordable, unique, and ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 247
{ FASHION FORWARD } { LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Every item in their store is personally selected, reflecting their commitment to delivering products that are not just on-trend but possess a timeless quality.“ BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
d comfortable items. Hours of research and exploration are invested in selecting items from trusted vendors. After purchase, each item is meticulously inspected and tried on to ensure it meets their high standards.
To those aspiring to venture into the world of online women’s boutiques, Katie and Shelly offer valuable advice: “Know what looks good on you, what pleases your eye, and what evokes
Collaboration with independent brands is another hallmark of Bella Vita Boutique. Their emphasis is not solely on style but also on giving back to society. Two of their frequently purchased brands are dedicated to important causes—type 1 diabetes and human trafficking, showing their commitment to supporting ethical practices. Sustainability and Ethical Sourcing
Advice to Aspiring Boutique Owners 250
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
A Personal Favorite for the Season When asked about a fashion item or trend they personally love for the upcoming season, Katie and Shelly are unanimous in their recommendation: versatile pieces that effortlessly transition from day to night. Investing in quality, capsule wardrobe items is their secret to timeless style.
Supporting Independent Brands
In the fashion industry, Bella Vita Boutique is mindful of sustainability and ethical sourcing. They prioritize products made in the USA, strive to understand the materials used, and the production process. Additionally, they focus on local deliveries, minimizing packaging and promoting the use of reusable bags.
made in the USA. Their mission is to provide stylish, quality items that stand the test of time, ensuring their customers’ satisfaction.
happiness. Everyone has their own unique style.” What’s Next for Bella Vita Boutique? As they continue to expand, Bella Vita Boutique is committed to discovering and promoting products that are
In the world of fashion, Bella Vita Boutique is more than an online store; it’s a reflection of the passions, dedication, and commitment of two women who understand the importance of feeling beautiful inside and out. With a heartwarming touch and an eye for style, Katie and Shelly’s journey is a testament to what can be achieved when you combine passion, hard work, and a dash of creativity. Bella Vita Boutique is not just a shop; it’s an experience, and one that every fashion-forward woman should explore.
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 251
{ FASHION FORWARD }
“At Bella Vita Boutique, fashion is all about the bags. What’s not to love? Their offerings are cute, unique, and versatile” 252
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
254
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } { SHIFT+CONTROL }
PROFESSIONAL NOTARY YOU ARE ENOUGH. SERVICES BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Marcy Tiberio entered the entrepreneurial space ten years ago and has built a thriving mobile notary signing company, Professional Notary Services, Inc. (PNS). After leaving her managerial position in the closing department of a multi-state mortgage banker, Marcy found that there was a demand for mobile notary services. She began as a team of one and has built a nationwide network of 1100 notaries who serve a variety of industries, making notarizations accessible to anyone, regardless of when or where they need one. In 2023, Marcy was authorized to provide Remote Online Notarizations making it possible to notarize documents through a secure portal online. Marcy stays well-informed of all legal and legislative guidelines and standards. This translates well for her customers who have come to trust the quality of attention and detail that Marcy and her notaries provide. Committed to serving her community and giving back and supporting those in need, PNS regularly sponsors fundraising drives and gifting various populations that are in need. For this year’s 10th Anniversary of Professional Notary Services, Inc., Marcy is giving $10,000 to charities over the course of ten months. She is grateful to be able to support the communities that have supported her. Education and advocacy are important to Marcy. So important, that she founded New York Notary Alliance (NYNA)
in 2022. NYNA is a trade association that advocates for the rights and needs of notaries, while providing education to empower notaries in New York. Hosting regular roundtable discussions, sponsoring and submitting petitions to the New York Secretary of State and Legislature, promoting live product demonstrations of products to ease notary life, and offering free educational webinars designed to raise the level of professionalism and knowledge of New York notaries are just a few of the benefits of NYNA to date. The NYNA website includes a directory of notaries
in NY that are searchable to anyone that needs a Notary. Her desire to prepare and train notaries has manifested in two course offerings in particular. For notaries that have been in the industry for a while or for those that may be brand new and lacking practical knowledge of notarial law, Marcy teaches a refresher course. Knowing it is difficult to get questions answered and exposure to best practices prior to taking the Notary Exam, Marcy is also teaching monthly a NY Notary Exam Prep Course.
As the Real Estate Market has experienced a downturn, Marcy has been a beacon of hope and encouragement to the entire industry. Not only through her efforts with NYNA, but also as she launches a third business called Notary Life. This business is an e-Commerce platform offering products, some fun and some practical, for notaries. Marcy’s commitment is to secure a portion of the profit from this business to begin a scholarship program for notaries desiring to begin a notary business. As a graduate of the Goldman Sachs 10,000 Small Business Program and Cornell University’s Women’s Entrepreneurship Certificate Program, Marcy continues to educate herself on how to grow in the small business arena. Marcy is a trusted resource and regularly mentors those in need of business building and entrepreneurial counsel. She is a sought-after speaker and panelist across the Notary industry and is the recipient of several awards and honors including the National Notary Association’s Notary of the Year Honoree. Her most recent award was the 2023 Women of Excellence from the Rochester Business Journal and Professional Notary Services has been named a Top100 Inner City Business. Somehow, despite running three businesses, Marcy also finds time to volunteer. She serves as a CASA Advocate, a Girl Scout Troup Leader, and regularly fosters rescue animals. She leads with ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 255
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
256
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 257
{{ LOCAL }} { SHEBUSINESS HUSTLES SPOTLIGHT TALKS } LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
“Marcy Tiberio entered the entrepreneurial space ten years ago and has built a thriving mobile notary signing company, Professional Notary Services, Inc. (PNS).” BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Honoree. Her most recent award was the 2023 Women of Excellence from the Rochester Business Journal and Professional Notary Services has been named a Top100 Inner City Business. Somehow, despite running three businesses, Marcy also finds time to volunteer. She serves as a CASA Advocate, a Girl Scout Troup Leader, and regularly fosters rescue animals. She leads with her giving heart and one of her favorite things is to provide swag for other small businesses. If anyone needs a swag bag item or raffle item for their event - give Marcy a call!
true identity, their willingness to sign without duress or intimidation, and their awareness of the contents of the document or transaction. Some notarizations also require the Notary to put the signer under an oath, declaring under penalty of perjury that the information contained in a document is true and correct. What qualifications and background are required to become a notary public in our state?
What is a notary public, and what role do they play in legal processes? As defined by the National Notary Association: A Notary Public is an official of integrity appointed by state government — typically by the secretary of state — to serve the public as an impartial witness in performing a variety of official fraud-deterrent acts related to the signing of important documents. These official acts are called notarizations, or notarial acts. Notaries are publicly commissioned as “ministerial” officials, meaning that they are expected to follow written rules without the exercise of significant personal discretion, as would otherwise be the case with a “judicial” official. A Notary’s duty is to screen the signers of important documents for their 258
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
New York State or have an office or place of business in New York State. What types of documents commonly require notarization? Notaries in New York typically administer oaths and affirmations; take affidavits and depositions; receive and certify acknowledgments or proof of such written instruments as deeds, mortgages and powers of attorney. They can also demand acceptance or payment of foreign and inland bills of exchange, promissory notes and obligations in writing, and protesting the same for non-payment. Are there any situations where you cannot notarize a document?
In New York State, a notary is required to submit a completed application and the required fee to the Department of State. That includes passing the New York State notary public examination. NYS Attorneys and court clerks of the Unified Court System are exempt from the examination. The notary must also be a resident of
A Notary will ask to see a current ID that has a photo, physical description and signature. Acceptable IDs usually include a driver’s license, state IDs, passports, or green cards. They will assess to be sure that the signer is not under any duress to sign documents. If ID does not appear to be valid or if duress or competency is in question, the notary can refuse notarization.
NEED A NOTARY? WE'VE GOT YOU COVERED!
PNS offers in-person and remote online notarization anywhere in the country and even, in some circumstances, internationally! Let us be your go-to notary whenever you need it wherever you need!
marcy@professionalnotaryservices.biz 1-833-MY-NOTARY www.professionalnotaryservices.biz
{ MONEY MINDSET }
MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, YOU ARE ENOUGH. MONEY... BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Money that 5-letter word. Is it great and good and makes the world go ‘round’ or is it the root of all evil? There are so many thoughts, feelings and emotions one can experience with money and it all depends on your programming. Did you experience money as something that was abundant and flowing in your life (if yes that is fantastic!) or was it abundant but controlled ...meaning you could have money as long as you did what the holder of the money expected or demanded. Or was scarcity the main money experience for you - money was hard to come by you had to work hard and long for it, and you never got ahead. Sadly, scarcity was my personal experience, as it is for most of the women I coach.
invest in yourself or your business, and feel confident and happy about money. How can you shift your money mindset? Here are some tips that have helped me: Practice gratitude. Every day, write down at least three things that you are grateful for in relation to money. For example, I am grateful for the money I earned today, I am grateful for the money I spent on groceries, I am grateful for the money I saved for a vacation.
Today I want to talk to you about something that has changed my life for the better: shifting your money mindset. What does that mean? Well, it means changing the way you think and feel about money, and for me it meant changing a scarcity mindset to one of abundance. A scarcity mindset is when you believe that there is not enough money for everyone, that you have to compete and struggle for it, and that you have to hoard and save it. An abundance mindset is when you believe that there is more than enough money for everyone, that you can attract and create it easily, and that you can spend and share it generously. Why is this important? Because your money mindset affects your actions and results. If you have a scarcity mindset, you might limit your income potential, avoid investing in yourself or your business, and feel stressed and anxious about money. If you have an abundance mindset, you might increase your income potential, 260
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
Visualize your desired outcome. Imagine yourself having the amount of money you want, and feeling the emotions that come with it. How would you act? What would you do? How would you spend or share your money? The more vividly you can picture it, the more likely you are to attract it. Take inspired action. Don’t just sit and wait for money to come to you. Go out and create value for others, offer
your skills or services, or start a project or business that you are passionate about. The more value you create, the more money you will receive. Challenge your limiting beliefs. I like to challenge my limiting beliefs using a combination of two tools. First is the use of reframing – this means whenever you catch yourself thinking or saying something negative about money, such as “I can’t afford that”, “Money is hard to make”, or “Money is the root of all evil”, stop and replace it with a positive affirmation, such as “I can afford anything I want”, “Money is easy to make”, or “Money is a tool for good”. And the second tool is using tapping with visualization and voicing to clear old unconscious programming and resistance about money. I must say these two tools in combination were the game-changer for me to observe significant shifts right away. Shifting your money mindset is not something that happens overnight. It takes time and practice. But trust me, it’s worth it. When you change your money mindset, you change your life. I mean who doesn’t want to feel good about money, making money, spending money, sharing money. And who doesn’t want to stop worrying about it. I know I do - how about you? I hope this article has inspired you to start shifting your money mindset today. If you need support in this area, do not hesitate to reach out and book a free consultation call with me. https://calendly. com/cindy-418/clarity-session I have a full money mindset shifting program you may have interest in.
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 261
HAVE YOU HEARD THE TERM “SELF FULFILLING PROPHECY?”
264
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL } } { COACHING WITH KAREN “ Have you been avoiding the very thing that could move you forward? This is where your power is.” BY KAREN MESSINA
I want to talk about outcomes and how you respond to things. How do you respond to what happened to you? How you respond drives everything that will happen to you going forward. If you tell yourself that you will never get better, or this will never end, it won’t. But it is more than just telling yourself, it is acting on that thought process.
“Believing you will do poorly on a test and then failing the test”, or “Thinking that you won’t get the job and then not getting it.” In both cases, your beliefs influenced your behavior and performance, contributing to the expected outcome. Let’s look at how you are responding to things, using the example of “behavior and performance.”
Have you heard the term “Self Fulfilling Prophecy?” Prophecy means a prediction. So if you keep telling yourself that something won’t work or something will happen again, something that you don’t want to happen, you will stay in your self fulfilling prophecy phase, which equals being stuck. You are going to fulfill what you think, what you predict. And when I say fulfill, I mean act on those thoughts. Behave in a way that proves that prophecy right. We do this because it feels safe, not better but safer. We do this because we don’t have to step outside of our comfort zone and risk getting hurt or feeling pain or feeling failure. Here is an example:
If you are super anxious or nervous about a test or getting a job, your critical thinking will be low. When emotions are high, critical thinking is low, therefore you may behave or respond in a way that is detrimental to you getting the job or passing the test. How? By responding in the job interview that is off-putting to the employer or sending red flags to them. Your fear
around not getting the job or the fact that you have convinced yourself that you won’t get it will come out in how you respond. Second guessing your answers to their questions or appearing timid. Employers know what they want and they don’t have time to “nurture your insecurity”….. they want a strong, confident employee that can do the job. Same with taking a test. Your critical thinking will be very low because you have convinced yourself that you will fail, therefore your focus will be on that rather than the test. Again, second guessing all of your answers. Once you have failed or not gotten the job, you can prove your prediction or prove the self-fulfilling prophecy. How does that make you feel? Honestly, really think about it. I would imagine it is a double edge sword. In one sense, you have proven a point and for a brief moment that feels good but you didn’t accomplish what you wanted to, so that feels awful. Don’t spend your time proving your point that you can’t do it, but rather use your brain power proving the opposite is true. What if you turned your self fulfilling prophecy around to a positive? Believing you will do well on an test and then passing the test, or thinking that ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 265
{ COACHING COACHING WITH WITH KAREN KAREN }} “You have just taken control of and squashed a trigger. You have turned a negative, selffulfilling prophecy around to a positive outcome for yourself.”
you will get the job and then actually getting it. This kind of thinking breads confidence. When you feel confident you are more likely to do well. Confidence doesn’t come from completing something and then feeling confident, it comes from feeling good on the inside about yourself first.
having them? Lets face it, we can spend years talking about our triggers and that we have them and how debilitating they are, or we can use them to our advantage. Have you been avoiding the very thing that could move you forward? This is
Feeling so good that you are confident that you can do it and then completing the task. Knowing that you are smart enough and strong enough and feeling good about yourself is what builds confidence. It is all about how you feel. Everything starts with a feeling, not a thought. Your feelings will drive your thoughts and your end results. “Why do I feel this way?” Well maybe you were made to feel dumb or inadequate in the past and that painful feeling was never addressed or healed. You heal it with a disconfirming experience which leads to you feeling good and ultimately gaining your confidence back. What about triggers? Lets look at those. Can you use them to help your pain or do you get mad that you are 266
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
Looking at a trigger, stopping yourself and saying “what made me feel it or why am I feeling triggered right now.” Getting to the root cause of that feeling is how you begin to heal. Once you have identified it, take control over it. Lets go back to someone making you feel inadequate. Someone told you that you can’t do it or put fear into your thought process (likely stemmed from their fear) about what will happen if you try….. and you believed them without ever really trying it. That is the root cause of your trigger. And who does that feeling belong to? The person who made you feel this way. The disconfirming experience will be doing the thing and successfully completing it and proving to yourself that you are not inadequate.
where your power is. When you feel a trigger, how do you respond to it?
You have just taken control of and squashed a trigger. You have turned a negative, self-fulfilling prophecy around to a positive outcome for yourself. I know this is a lot to digest, so I want you to pick this article apart and put yourself in the scenarios.
{ COACHING WITH KAREN }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 267
{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE } { SHIFT+CONTROL }
WISDOM & LESSONS OF OUR ELDERSBY LISA WAGNER
Growing Inner Wisdom Through Humility As I enter the final third of my life, I am struck more poignantly than ever, how I could have more readily opened my mind and soul with a kind and humble heart to the wisdom of my elders. Looking back at my first and second acts of my life, I see where I was offered beautiful gems that I disregarded and sometimes scoffed at. I instead, could have learned valuable lessons and grown into a wiser soul sooner. It would have saved me a lot of grief and pain while opening my creative flow. Each culture and society reflect how they view their elders’ wisdom. They have seen and lived through what can only be what it is that we imagine. They have felt pains, sorrow, and joys we have yet to experience. Allowing our egos to get in the way of our soul’s progress and path towards a more enlightened way of being only causes us unnecessary pain that can be avoided when we open our hearts to the wisdom of those that have come before us. They were a part of history that we can only imagine and hold the key to lessons already learned. “Respecting elders is an act of humility and recognition of the wealth of knowledge they possess.” Unknown As young adults, we may strive to prove our own worth to others and/or society. We may even stubbornly ignore or scoff at what’s always worked in search of a “newer,” “better way” of doing things. We couldn’t see that there was a reason that certain things had been done, or made obsolete, for as long as most 268
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
can remember. Those who came well before us had already done the trials and developed systems that worked for most normal circumstances. How much energy I exerted that could have been used to grow as a human being and honored my own purpose as I feverishly tried to reinvent the wheel? It was a form of arrogance/ego that I ignored the efforts and expertise it took for past generations to build working systems. I had my children young. I was 23 when my daughter was born and 29 for my son. It was then I realized I knew absolutely nothing while simultaneously thinking I knew what was best for my children. I also believed that our parents did things the “old fashioned way” according to all the things I was currently reading. I was partially correct but for the simplest of things, I could have possessed a lot more humility. What we fail to realize is that we really have just begun our life’s journey and there are those ahead of us who graciously await you to help an assist us along the way. “In fact, you have no knowledge of where anything is or of what anything is or how it came to be. Life is a mystery.” Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. Throughout time, cultures relied on their elders to garner new wisdom when we felt lost or confused. They are considered spiritual leaders to their people. They are recognized for their wisdom and experiences, and this makes them valuable members of their culture. They are considered higher ranking due to the comprehensive knowledge and understanding they have of the Universe. The Regional Municipality of
Wood Buffalo states that they are also considered to be “knowledge keepers.” “They have a connection to all living beings and things, and each specialize in their own areas of knowledge with hands-on life experiences.” A modern-day example would be specialist physicians for each type of ailment or body part. (You wouldn’t see a heart surgeon for a broken wrist.) Our specialties are probably vastly different but have some commonality. I am an artist and a teacher. ( I also consider myself many other things; a mother, grandmother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.) I may know more about the arts and how to paint or draw than you do. But you might be incredibly creative at your job. You and I could sit down for coffee and find out more about not only one another and listen to one another’s stories and family history. This is where curiosity leads to greater understanding, empathy, and growth in our own areas of strength. Within the American indigenous tribes, there is a belief that cross-cultural communication and learning helps them to be better guided and informed. It allows them to serve their people and Mother Earth in a way that honors them. This is a poignant example of how we each can learn to grow alongside one another without judgment and feel genuine curiosity. Curiosity without judgement has made a huge difference in my own life. Especially with my healing, my artwork and with my students. There is a sense of release when I grow my inquisitiveness. I’ve noticed when I implement this way of thinking, it allows for a possibility of a
{ SHIFT+CONTROL } { A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 269
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
270
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE } { MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE } “I pass along gems that my mentors generously gifted to me and allowed my work to advance in ways I couldn’t have achieved without their words and nudges into uncomfortable spaces.”
greater truth. We become seekers and connect more with love than with fear. Having the grace and humility to hear sound advice opens us up to greater possibilities towards our enlightenment. It is a miraculous thing when we can remove our veils and see fully which path holds more light. As I add years to my age, it’s becoming easier to admit ignorance or fault but it’s always a work in progress.
see it now as missed opportunities for not only personal growth but the ability to pass down generations of lessons and stories for our future generations. My sweet granddaughter will miss out on so much because no one talked about their lives back then. It’s a mistake I never want to make with my own children or grandchildren. I will happily become vulnerable as I share my mistakes and
When we think about elders, shaman, and knowledge keepers, we should also keep in mind that they too look to something greater than themselves for answers to trying and painful questions or situations. African Shaman ask spirit for guidance and offer them gifts for their messages. They value the greater wisdom of those who have come before them with deep admiration. “Collect as precious pearls the words of the wise and virtuous.” Abd El-Kader When applying that to my own life, I wish I had taken more time to ask my elders about what they had learned and what they wish they had known or been told at my age. I have only my father left, and I have taken time with him to ask about his family and their experiences. Unfortunately, much of it was not passed along to him, as his parents were very private and incredibly stoic. He and I
triumphs, describing what lead to each. With that vulnerability, we must first check in with our emotional selves. It will allow us to take an objective look at whether we continue to feel shame over our missteps. Those with great wisdom never give advice through the voice of judgment. They genuinely wish the best
for themselves and others. In our creative lives, choosing to learn from people in our field of interest that are seasoned and have traversed all the places we will eventually visit also allows for our craft or interests to flourish at a heightened rate. When I am teaching, I encourage my students to listen to the advice I give them in areas they are feeling blocked creatively. I pass along gems that my mentors generously gifted to me and allowed my work to advance in ways I couldn’t have achieved without their words and nudges into uncomfortable spaces. It’s where I learned the most and grew exponentially. Leaning into their words allowed me to move forward in every way. When we are strong enough in mind and spirit, we are free to ask hard questions about ourselves and our choices or behaviors. As seekers, we may explore the root of our suffering and heal our inner self through humility and openness. It is our path to emotional freedom. I would like to leave you this quote that sums this idea up beautifully: “To know that you do not know is best. To think you know when you do not is a disease. Recognizing this disease as a disease is to be free of it.” -Lao Tzu
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 271
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
274
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ {THE LORI FACTOR BUSINESS TALK }}}
ARE YOU DYING RIGHT BEFORE YOUR OWN EYES? BY LORI BRUTON
It’s subtle. Undetectable. Suddenly, yet not so suddenly, you are wasting away. Your life is slipping away. One day you are happy, energetic, and vibrant. Without warning, the attack hits you. What happened? The next thing you know, you have no control, no appetite for food or for life. It’s an attack on your mind, body, and soul. John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Maybe you’ve been attacked and have lost HOPE. Be encouraged. Never give up. You are not alone. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a HOPE and a FUTURE.” ~Jeremiah 29:11 No one plans to get sick. In this world, many factors harm and infect us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We do our best to protect ourselves and the ones we love. It takes more than our own efforts. Our words and thoughts are powerful. Be aware of what you think and say. What’s in your heart? Your heart wounds can be healed. Never give up. There is hope. “O” in my book, The LORI Factor, stands for Optimism; have a favorable
outlook and belief you can change your life. Optimism is having hope and confidence for a successful outcome beyond your circumstances. We all need help sometimes. We are not meant to do life alone. Love one another. An emergency situation may arise. It’s devastating. You wonder, “How did we get here?” It’s okay. A near fatal condition can turn around. It’s always God’s will to heal and save lives. When you are too weak even to pray and you end up in a downward spiral, Jesus is the Way. He is with you always. He never leaves you or forsakes you. Choose faith over fear. Lean on the Giver of Life and on your loved ones. Let them rally on your behalf. Keep fighting, despite all you’re going through. One step at a time. No matter what it feels like now, you will gain strength and recover. No one is to blame. When the circumstance became critical, it was time to surrender. If you ended up in a hospital bed, it’s okay. You made it this far for a reason even if you can’t see it yet. This did not happen to teach you a lesson or to punish you. No! All things can work together for good if we choose to look for the good experiences among the difficult experience. Keep an attitude of gratitude. It will aid in your recovery. Yes, this situation affects the one who
needed care but it also affects the caregivers. Physical and emotional pain takes a toll. It’s difficult to see a loved one suffer. You do your best to help but it may get beyond your ability to help. Realizing that was wisdom. You made a life-saving decision which produced a favorable outcome. It was a different route than you wanted, but it was the only option at that point. This disrupted the flow of daily life. Don’t think of it as a disruption but rather an interlude. An interlude causes us to pause, reroute, and reevaluate. It poses many unanswered questions. We may never know the reason why this devastating episode occurred. We can write a new chapter and celebrate what went right instead of what went wrong. This too shall pass. It is all part of your journey. Sharing this experience will help others. Stay in the present. Focus on the future. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Let Him guide and direct you. The adversity you’ve faced will inspire and encourage many lives. Let this interlude inspire you to celebrate life and do more with your life. Life is a precious gift that we often take for granted. There are many people suffering and struggling in one way or another. Let your voice and encouraging words save and impact the people you encounter. I was in the hospital waiting room. A patient came in and sat down. We engaged in a conversation. I was ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 275
{ THE LORI FACTOR }
““Imagine, if you will, being on your death bed – And standing around your bed – the ghosts of the ideas, the dreams, the abilities, the talents given to you by life.” - Les Brown prompted to be bold and courageous after listening to him share his addiction and struggles. I know I was put there at that moment to give him hope. He thanked me for caring and listening. I told him about Jesus and that He is the deliverer. His name is above any name and any addiction. He accepted the gift of salvation and eternal life. He can now share that message and be a light in this world. That encounter made a difference. You can make a difference too. Don’t let your life and dreams slip away. 276
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
“Imagine, if you will, being on your death bed – And standing around your bed – the ghosts of the ideas, the dreams, the abilities, the talents given to you by life. And that you for whatever reason, you never acted on those ideas, you never pursued that dream, you never used those talents, we never saw your leadership, you never used your voice, you never wrote that book. And there they are standing around your bed looking at you with large angry eyes saying we came to you, and only you could have given us life! Now we must die with
you forever. The question is – if you die today what ideas, what dreams, what abilities, what talents, what gifts, would die with you?” – Les Brown 911, What’s your emergency? Are you living or are you dying? Live full, die empty. Message me. Let’s explore this together. I help people live the life they were born to live, know their true identity, and step into their destiny.
lori
{ { MENTALLY THINKING SHIFT+CONTROL } }
ADAPTING TO CHANGE BY BONNIE FLOYD
Change is inevitable throughout each of our lives. From the moment that we are born we face multiple types of changes. We change with respect to our physical appearances, as well as our physical and cognitive capabilities. We experience changes in our families of origin, our friendships, and our personal relationships. Some changes throughout our lives are planned, whereas others are totally unexpected. We intentionally plan to select a specific major in college, but we never expect to experience a significant car accident. Certain changes are relatively trivial; others are undeniably monumental in nature. Changes may induce a wide variety of emotions, including happiness, sadness, elation, relief, hope, joy, guilt, disappointment, fear, anxiety, despair, discouragement, anger, frustration, or encouragement. Sometimes, we experience multiple different types of emotions when changes take place. The same change may cause different types of emotional responses, based upon when it takes place in our lives. For example, losing a parent during early childhood is significantly different than losing a parent during middle age. Being diagnoses with a serious illness is substantially different for those who feel socially isolated, compared to those who report having an adequate support system. Some changes are relatively short-term, such as receiving a bad haircut. Other changes are completely irreversible, including the death of a loved one. Certain changes are intentionally chosen, such as selecting a college to attend; other changes are unexpectedly forced upon us, including reception of a medical diagnosis. How we choose to react to the changes that take place in our lives ultimately makes
a huge difference on their impact upon us. Whereas we may have zero control over a specific change that occurs, we do have control in how we choose to respond to that change. In general, those individuals who tend to be more positive are more likely to respond favorable to change. They are prone to interpreting changes as challenges, rather than obstacles. Those individuals who lean toward pessimism are generally at a disadvantage when responding to change; they are much more likely to focus upon what they have lost as a result of change. Should changes happen to involve substantial loss, they have the potential to induce profound grief reactions. Such reactions are analogous to the stages of death and dying with which most of us are very familiar: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Individuals who are grieving do not necessarily experience each of these stages, nor do they necessarily occur in a linear fashion. Each stage of the grieving process is marked by varying degrees of intensity, as well as duration. It’s critically important to allow others, as well as ourselves, adequate time for grieving the losses induced by changes. We may recycle through the stages of death and dying multiple times, in fact. It’s important to remember that these stages do not exclusively apply to the physical loss of an important individual in our lives. We also experience these stages of grieving whenever we are faced with serious physical and/or emotional illnesses or injuries. Certain changes involve adaptation to the loss of what might have been, whether that loss occurs in our personal or professional lives. For example, a broken engagement may induce a powerful sense of loss. We
may be consumed with thoughts of how we thought our life was supposed to turn out, rather than the stark reality of how it is. Being passed up for a desired promotion at work is a change that creates a substantial degree of loss. Again, we engage in the process of mourning how we thought things were supposed to be in our lives. Some individuals seem to chase changes throughout their lives. They appear to crave the adrenaline rush of novelty, whether it be in their personal appearance, relationships, careers, or housing. Others are very much creatures of habit. They resist change of any sort, and they actively go out of their way to avoid making changes. Sometimes, we’re capable of successfully responding to the changes that occur throughout our lives. Other times, we may require professional assistance to successfully cope with changes in our lives. In no way does seeking outside help imply that we are personally weak, inadequate, or flawed. In fact, it’s really a sign of strength to recognize when one’s personal challenges exceed one’s personal resources for optimal adjustment to change. Such professional help may be relatively short-term for some individuals; occasionally, outside assistance is needed for longer periods of time. Receiving professional therapy for improved coping with change initially involves the recognition of fully grieving one’s losses. Working with a therapist may accelerate achieving acceptance of the impact of changes that occur throughout our lives. Furthermore, obtaining professional assistance facilitates the process of redefining our lives after change has taken place.
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 279
{ THE PASSION MENTOR { SHIFT+CONTROL } }
WHEN YOU FEEL “STUCK,” ASK YOURSELF THIS BY KAREN GRIFFARD PUTZ
Way back when my kids were very young, my husband and I faced a choice that we had to make for them. As parents, we were responsible for their upbringing, and due to all three of them being deaf/ hard of hearing, we were facing decisions that would affect their life path. The problem was, we didn’t know what to do. So it seemed easier to do…nothing. “Doing nothing is a choice,” a wise mentor told me. And the problem with doing nothing is that there is very little energy associated with it. The energy around “doing nothing” or “deciding nothing” is stagnant. Then the hubby and I made a decision. The simple act of making an aligned decision energized us. Once we chose the direction of that decision–we owned it. We aligned with our decision. There was energy behind that decision. As the years went on, my path shifted into the work of “passion.” I started studying this energy and I surrounded myself with people who were living at a high level of passion in their life. And the words of my mentor often stuck with me. Doing nothing is a choice. I found that many of my clients in my coaching business were also feeling stagnant with their energy and their decisions. They were choosing to do nothing. They were avoiding making decisions about their life path. They were staying in limbo. So I started using a question with my clients when faced with decision making. 282
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
The question was simple: “Will this bring me energy?” When my clients used this question in their decision making process, they found themselves having an easier time getting to the decision they wanted. If the energy associated with the decision was not aligned–there was a lower vibrational result. When you are aligned with the right path, energy vibrates at a higher level. When it comes to running a business, there are often aspects of a business that drains energy. As a result, we put off doing the things that we don’t enjoy doing. A wise business coach once told me to hire people to do the stuff that takes away my energy so that I can focus on what BRINGS good energy into my life. This actually applies to both business and life. When you focus on using your gifts within your business, your energy continues to remain high versus spreading yourself thin and doing everything yourself. So when you are facing a decision point in your life or you’re feeling stuck, ask yourself, “Does this bring me energy?” If the decision you’re making is going to drain your energy rather than bring you to a higher level of energy–it’s time to re-evaluate the answer. Keep in mind, avoiding or postponing a decision is also a decision. Here are some strategies to help you cultivate and enhance positive (and passionate) energy: Practice Gratitude: Take time each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for. Expressing gratitude can shift your focus towards the positive
aspects of your life, fostering a sense of appreciation and contentment. Surround Yourself with Positive People: Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive individuals can have a contagious effect on your own energy. Seek out relationships with people who uplift and inspire you, and limit your exposure to negative influences. Engage in Activities You Love: Participate in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Engaging in hobbies, pursuing creative outlets, or spending time in nature can boost your mood and increase positive energy. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation: Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily routine. Mindfulness allows you to be present in the moment. Meditation can also promote relaxation and inner peace. Take Care of Your Physical Health: Physical well-being is closely linked to mental and emotional well-being. Prioritize exercise, eat a balanced diet, and get enough restful sleep. Taking care of your body can enhance your energy levels and overall positivity. Limit Exposure to Negative Media: Be mindful of the media you consume, as excessive exposure to negative news or content can drain your positive energy. Stay informed, but also seek out uplifting and inspiring sources of information. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same care and understanding you would offer to a loved one. Acknowledge your strengths, forgive your mistakes, and focus on personal growth.
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 283
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
284
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE { THE PASSION MENTOR { SHIFT+CONTROL } } } “And the problem with doing nothing is that there is very little energy associated with it. The energy around “doing nothing” or “deciding nothing” is stagnant.”
Set and Pursue Meaningful Goals: Set goals that align with your values and passions. Having a sense of purpose and working towards meaningful objectives can ignite positive energy and provide a sense of fulfillment. Engage in Random Acts of Kindness: Perform acts of kindness towards others without expecting anything in return. Acts of generosity, whether big or small, can create a positive ripple effect, benefiting both the recipient and the giver. Watch
your energy shift as a result! Embrace Positive Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to reframe negative self-talk and boost your confidence. Repeat affirmations that resonate with you, such as “I am worthy,” “I am capable,” or “I attract positivity.” Your self-talk has an impact on your energy. Whenever you are “stuck” with a decision or a path moving forward, try using the tips above to shift your energy. And ask
yourself that vital question, “Will this give me energy?” The answer you have to that question may be the shift you need to enjoy a higher level of energy in your work and your life. Karen Putz is known as “The Passion Mentor.” She helps midlifers create more joy, adventure, and fun so they can enjoy the second half of life. Grab her new guide, “How to Experience More Joy” at www.yourpassionschool.com. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 285
YOGA THERAPY TOOLS FOR STRESSED OUT SPORTS FANS BY KAITLYN VITTOZZI
286
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{{ SHIFT+CONTROL LIFE IN BALANCE } “It might not always be as apparent in the yoga and wellness circles I run in, in 2022 Samford University found nearly 50% of Americans 13+ watch the NFL.”
I was hesitant to write this, as it divulges something personal that may cost me some local business. However, part of yoga therapy is showing up authentically, in all spheres. Personal, professional, and spiritual really cannot be compartmentalized. Writing this has also felt self-soothing. Let’s face it. Fall in the United States is synonymous with football. It might not always be as apparent in the yoga and wellness circles I run in, in 2022 Samford University found nearly 50% of Americans 13+ watch the NFL. The start of each season brings excitement, hope, and anxiety. While I’ve loved seeing the support my local friends have for the Bills over the last three decades I’ve spent in Rochester, my family has always been fans of the Jets. So much of yoga therapy is about being in the present. With all of the pre-season hype this year, I found myself daydreaming of the whole family in the living room cheering on our team in February at the Super Bowl. Our season’s outlook changed drastically four plays in this year to look – a lot more challenging – if not abysmal this year. I sit here writing this on the fourth week of the NFL season. From getting home from New Jersey on September 12th through now I have gone through highs and lows that I honestly – couldn’t really get a hold of which is completely unlike me. So, I had to lean into my yoga toolbox to get myself back to something healthy. Hopefully some of these work for you whether it is football, or hockey, or soccer, or whatever season.
For a little context, most of living a yogic lifestyle is about action and non-action, and trying to control the fluctuations of the mind in instances that we can’t control. Unless you are going to take up a new career as a player or coach, sit back and enjoy the ride.
empathy and practicing joy for others – even when they might appear like an enemy – always does us more good than holding onto anger. Even season in every sport, only one team wins the championship, there is no finite amount of joy in this life. Share it.
Ahimsa. Yoga’s primary ethical observance is Ahimsa, non-violence. Ahimsa not just toward others but also towards yourself. Usually in bed by 10, I was up until at least midnight for almost two weeks straight. Going through every sports podcast, press conference, whatever might give me some hope that the season might turn around or find someone to commiserate with. Scrolling through comments to read opinions, my heart softening when I would come across one that said “you just have to have hope” and firing back up when commentors left scathing reviews. My sleep schedule was shot and I was brining a cold on. Who was getting hurt? Nobody else but me. Keeping up self-care and hygiene rather than falling into a stress cycle of binging on media, alcohol during games, etc. will always pay off.
Pranayama. Pranayama or breath is one of yoga’s eight limbs. It can be easy to get pulled out of our bodies. When you start to spiral into the circle of stress try taking a deep inhale envisioning it going through the crown of your head, and exhaling it out the soles of your feet. Repeat until you are back into your own body and out of the screen.
Aparigraha. Another ethical practice of Yama, is Aparigraha, non-greed or nonattachment. I found myself Sunday, after another Jets loss and Bills win – in line at Wegmans like all good Western New Yorkers. The self-checkout was closed so I found myself in line behind a couple with a ton of groceries. She was a Bills fan and cheering with the cashier about the Bills win. I was not the best version of myself in this moment. I wanted to tell them to speed it up already, but had to keep my cool in public. In reality,
Metta Meditation. If you’ve never done a Metta or loving kindness meditation it can be an incredibly powerful tool. Simply put, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Picture someone you love and wish them “May you be healthy, May you be happy, May you be safe, May you be free. May you be filled with loving kindness.” Now picture someone that makes your life difficult and do the same. And now picture yourself, and do the same. Wish the same to the larger global community. For the past few nights before bed, I have been practicing Metta meditation. Perhaps this is also partial Catholic penance for saying so many horrible things in my head about the Bills. First I wish the Jets well, then the Bills well, and myself well. We are all just people. This life is short. Don’t let every game reek havoc on you, only one team win.
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 287
IN BALANCE }} {{ LIFE SHIFT+CONTROL “However, part of yoga therapy is showing up authentically, in all spheres. Personal, professional, and spiritual really cannot be compartmentalized. Writing this has also felt self-soothing.”
288
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :OCTOBER EDITION 2023
{ SHIFT+CONTROL }
ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER EDITION 2023 289