When you say you’re fine
Many of us enjoy exchanging pleasantries as we pass each other whilst taking our walk in the countryside, or nod and share a few friendly words in a familiar work or social setting. There's often a smile as we ask, 'hello, how are you?', which is often unthinkingly followed by the usual, 'I'm fine thanks, how are you?' There'd be surprise if there was any other response to the non-question that's been asked. It's a polite greeting, which sometimes doesn't even warrant waiting for the reply before we continue on our way. But what happens when we say we're fine when we're not? We're regularly advised to talk about our feelings, reminded of the importance of sharing with others when we're down, of letting them help. But how do we do that?
- Context is important when we're asked how we are. Did the question consist of a quick nod of recognition or was there a more concerned degree of interest being shown? What else were you both doing when you met? Were you both on your way somewhere else? Is the time and place appropriate for you to start disclosing that you're struggling or would it be better to plan a future meet?
