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OCTOBER 2021 THE LEADING MAGAZINE FOR LGBTQI WOMEN AND NON-BINARY PEOPLE

THE

BLACK HISTORY MONTH ISSUE

POSE’S HAILIE SAHAR “If you don’t know your history, you don’t know how strong you are”

YASMIN BENOIT The asexual superhero the world needs right now

Dating under the radar What do you do when your love is forbidden?

Rosanny

Zayas

The L Word: Gen Q star on a mission to make you feel seen

BECOMING MUMMIES

Jade Anouka’s queer pregnancy diaries

Rebel Dykes reveal all Squat parties and girl-on-girl wrestling

LIVERPOOL’S LGBTQIA ARTS & CULTURE FESTIVAL ONLINE AND IN VENUES 28 OCTOBER – 14 NOVEMBER 2021

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F E S T I VA

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Jade

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R o s i e W i l by

Fam il

homotopia.net @LGBT.festival.liverpool @HomotopiaFest

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CONTENTS UPFRONT 04 Team DIVA 05 Editor’s letter 07 Publisher’s letter 08 Trending

12

16

32

10 Your shout

VOICES

FEATURES

CULTURE

11 Get the look

12 Char Bailey

16 Rosanny Zayas

32 Rebel Dykes

13 Nic Crosara

24 Dating under the radar

34 Hailie Sahar

14 Charlie George

26 Queer parenting

38 Hollyoaks makes history

15 Valentino Vecchietti

28 Asexual visibility

Throughout the issue you will see this symbol, which indicates that there is digital content available related to that particular feature. You will be able to access this complementary content when you purchase our digital edition from divadigital.co.ukk or directly through the DIVA branded app, available on the App Store, Google Play, Kindle Newsstand and Windows Store.

COVER PHOTO ROWAN DALY

(Please note that additional content may not be available via all of our third-party digital suppliers. However, buying the issue using one of the methods above will give you access to this content.)

44

50 SEX

ESCAPE

44 The Sex Lives Of African Women

50 Explore

48 My secret sex diary 49 Sexy bits

...and DIVA regular sections 37 Screen | 40 Books | 41 Music | 42 Dear Ali 3

TEAM DIVA Love women?

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Nic Crosara (they/them) Junior staff writer

Char Bailey (she/her/they) Features writer

Eleanor Noyce (she/her) Editorial assistant

Nic has loved writing stories since they were three, but their passion for journalism began in 2018 when they wrote for GalDem for the first time. When away from the keyboard, Nic is most likely reading a book, playing Sims or buying a house plant. They currently live in Bath with their partner and one day (they hope) a cat or dog. @niccrosara

An online influencer, mental health advocate and head of wellbeing and education at Birmingham Pride, Char uses her platform to provide audiences with workshops on mindfulness, life coaching and sports performance empowerment, alongside working with UK Black Pride on education and inclusion. @char_bailey_

Based in East London, Eleanor joined Team DIVA after gaining a degree in politics from the University of Leeds.

Passionate about bi visibility and disability rights, she also freelances as a journalist and copywriter and has written for The Independent, Metro, i-D, Refinery29, Tribune, Stylist and more. @eleanornoyce_

Operations director Fiona Marshall

Postal address

DIVA is published

Designer Fernando Safont

DIVA MAGAZINE

monthly in the UK

Sub-editor & screen editor Kat Halstead

Ground floor

Books editor Erica Gillingham

2 Woodbury Grove

Travel editor Joanna Whitehead Big thanks to: Char Binns, Sarah Gutierrez, Katie White, Siobhan Fahey, Hailey Helms, Amy Sands

London N12 0DR editorial@divamag.co.uk divamag.co.uk

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THE NOVEMBER ISSUE OF DIVA IS ON SALE FROM FRIDAY 29 OCTOBER AT DIVADIGITAL.CO.UK AND DIVADIRECT.INFO

4 OCTOBER 2021

UPFRONT | TEAM DIVA

Editor’s letter

H

ello and welcome to our, quite frankly gorgeous, October issue. This month’s cover star, the magnificent Rosanny Zayas, is on a mission to change the world through storytelling and so is DIVA. Among these pages, you’ll find heartfelt, empowering and occasionally downright hilarious stories from some incredible LGBTQIA women and non-binary people.

From the legendary rebel dykes’ tales of political protest and baked bean wrestling, to POSE star Hailie Sahar’s uplifting message for her trans siblings, Jade Anouka’s unflinchingly honest account of her journey to motherhood and The Sex Lives Of African Women’s 71-year-old Alexis, who found romance and “debauchery” in later life: these are the stories you need to hear.

It’s Black History Month in the UK and we’re especially keen to centre Black and POC folks in this issue, but to be clear, that isn’t just on our agenda once a year. Whatever your race, identity, age or life experience, we want you to feel seen and celebrated in this magazine.

As you might have gathered, I’m new to the editor’s chair, although I’ve been a fixture at DIVA HQ since I started as a wide-eyed, ink-splodge-stained editorial assistant way back in 2016. One of the best parts of my new job has undoubtedly been welcoming three new queer writers to the DIVA family. Nic, Char and Eleanor are all super talented and I can’t wait for you to get to know them and read their work. I know you’re going to love them.

I’d also like to thank DIVA publisher Linda Riley for giving me the opportunity to edit a magazine that truly means the world to me and has done ever since I was a closeted little lezza in Leeds, poring over its pages in secret.

This is a new chapter for DIVA, with a new team, fresh energy and exciting plans in the works. But as ever, this magazine is here for you, DIVA reader. So if there’s a topic you’re eager for us to explore, a celesbian we should be interviewing or an everyday queero you want us to shout about, then get in touch and let me know.

Now, grab yourself a cuppa and a biccy, put your feet up and get stuck in.

Roxy Bourdillon (she/her) @roxybourdillon roxy@divamag.co.uk

5

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UPFRONT | PUBLISHER’S LETTER

A letter from our publisher

T

hese are exciting times at DIVA! I am so proud to introduce the new-look #TeamDIVA. First off, let’s give a massive welcome to Roxy Bourdillon, who has taken over the editor’s chair from Carrie Lyell. Roxy’s elevation to the editorship is hugely welcome and well-deserved and I cannot wait to see what this new era at DIVA will bring.

Already, Roxy has appointed three new writers to Team DIVA: Nic Crosara, who started out writing for Gal-Dem in 2018, joins us as a junior staff writer; Eleanor Noyce, whose work has featured in Metro, The Independent, Stylist and more, takes on the mantle of editorial assistant; and mental health advocate Char Bailey who, amongst other roles, works with Birmingham Pride and UK Black Pride, comes on board as a features writer. I know you will join me in welcoming these three incredibly talented people to Team DIVA. We have some exciting new products in the pipeline and we’ll tell you more about them over the coming weeks and months. Today I can announce the launch of the brand new DIVA Podcast, which comes out at the same time as next month’s magazine. It’s produced and presented by The L Word’s brilliant Rachel Shelley (aka Helena Peabody) and star of Different For Girls Victoria Broom – and, of course, Team DIVA. You’ll be able to find it on your usual podcast app and we know you’re going to love it!

The team and I are proud that DIVA is fully inclusive of LGBTQI women and non-binary people of all backgrounds, ethnicities and identities in a media landscape that, even today, can often appear overwhelmingly “white”. Personally, as someone who comes from a non-white background (my family are Armenian), since becoming the publisher of DIVA one of my main objectives has been to ensure that every issue is a genuine reflection of our rainbow community. But every October, our Black History Month Issue is a chance to shine an even brighter light on some of the amazing people of colour in our LGBTQI family. Look out for the brilliant Jade Anouka, Yasmin Benoit, Krisha Kay Gandhi, Charlie George and more in this month’s magazine.

Remember, some people have more than one battle to fight, and that is especially true for queer people of colour. Racism is no less prevalent within the LGBTQI community than in wider society and I can personally assure all of you that DIVA will always put diversity and inclusion at the forefront of everything we do. It is not enough to be non-racist: we owe it to our sisters and non-binary siblings everywhere to be actively antiracist. DIVA will continue to campaign vigorously for true equality until the scourge of racism has been consigned to the dustbin of history and one day we will live in a society which is truly equal.

Linda Riley Publisher

7

TRENDING

Person of the Month

Phyll Opoku-Gyimah Ask a QTIPOC who inspires them and we guarantee Lady Phyll OpokuGyimah’s name will come up. That’s why we call her mother! The iconic co-founder and director of UK Black Pride (which celebrated its 16th Pride earlier this year) picked up the Lifetime Achievement award at The British LGBT awards, along with UKBP scooping the Community Initiative 2021 gong. Forever humble, Phyll took to social media to thank the community for their support: “No one is a change maker alone, and the work is far from done.” She went on to talk about how “too often the pursuit of recognition outweighs the desire for impact”.

Statements like these reiterate why so many people in the community love and admire Phyll. As she expressed her gratitude, she made sure to note that her “work will continue, with or without recognition” and challenged others to “strive for equity, equality, inclusion, safety and freedom for our siblings”.

NUMBER

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%

porn as an alternative source of sex ed according to a study by Durex

100,000+ 0

Submissions sent in support of

1

st

Out transgender winner of the US RuPaul’s Drag Race

N ew Zealand’s plan Condragulations to ban LGBTQI conversion practices Kylie Sonique Love!

10 £380k 9inn10 Awarded to

local LGBTQI community and support groups

by Birmingham Pride since 2015

8 OCTOBER 2021

LGBTQI lawyers have supportive colleagues or allies at work

revealed in a report by The Law Society

WORDS CHAR BAILEY, NIC CROSARA . PHOTOS ALMASS BADAT, CREATIVE COMMONS

h t n o m s i h T IN

Queer folks watching

UPFRONT | TRENDING

PICK’’N’’MIX Say hello to our latest obsessions 1

2

DIVA loves

BLM FEST 3 4

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Perfect for spring babies: keep budding, blooming, growing, glowing twomindspress.com, £18.20

Need to know

Rainbow Railroad Rainbow Railroad is a global not-for-profit organisation that helps LGBTQI+ people escape persecution and violence. Community foundation GiveOut is asking for donations so that Rainbow Railroad can support those at risk in Afghanistan, where the Taliban has seized power.

To find out more and donate what you can visit giveout.org/afghanistan-appeal.

FLOURISHING BI PRIDE POSTCARD An ideal gift for bi buddies who became plant parents during lockdown sofftpunk.com, £2

Founder of BLM Fest, Kayza Rose has been working in the cultural sector for over a decade as a creative producer, artistic director and cultural leader.

She is currently head of external events at UK Black Pride, COO at AZ Mag and a lecturer at the Royal Central School of Speech and Drama.

Her work is driven by a belief in championing marginalised communities who have historically been excluded from the cultural sector.

Here’s why she’s starting BLM Fest: “The idea came out of a conversation last year during the BLM protests. I was recovering from major surgery and really sad about what was happening in the world. My friend asked what I’d be doing in terms of a response, as I often create spaces to tackle important issues. BLM Fest is about speaking about the difficult issues, highlighting amazing talent, learning, live performances, screenings, collaborations and showing up when it counts. I’ve been working hard to create what BLM Fest should be. It’s centring the Black experience, and open to all. Join us!” Want to get involved? “Reach out to me. Let me know what you’re thinking about.

Why is this important to you? Come to the events. Share. Support.” @blmfest @kayza_rose @blmfest @kayzarose 9

UPFRONT | YOUR SHOUT FAVE ACCOUNTS INSTAGRAM OUR THIS MONTH

You said it...

ON TWITTER

YOUR SHOUT

@itsmarbe Grab your @DIVAmagazine it’s surely awesome

Opinions expressed by correspondents and contributors do not necessarilyy reflect the views of the editors of DIVA magazine or its publishers.

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10 OCTOBER 2021

@EmiGarside I got my copy of @DIVAmagazine with my article on @SchittsCreek and why it mattered to me as a queer woman. To have it in a magazine that matters so much to me is kind of a full circle moment @we_are_biscuit Really impressed with @DIVAmagazine’s bi output this week. Every day something new! @rosiewilby Hands up if you remember @DIVAmagazine’s Radio Diva ? I used to cohost this queer show @ResonanceFM with @heatherpeace & I’ve been working with @ontheslypod on a retrospective show for @VirginRadioUK Virgin Radio Pride @Lucinder_Smith So proud to have been featured in DIVA on the diversity, equity & inclusion work I have been doing both internally for Mercer and externally with my website diversitydreaming.com. Let’s keep changing the world, one day at a time.

@doitlikedua

@BerwynR Great coverage in @DIVAmagazine for our Jury announcement today! Fabulous collection of talented people – @irisprize is very lucky to have your support. Enjoy the viewing. @wordsbyhadley Always great to see a queer publication thriving! Looking forward to seeing what @RoxyBourdillon has planned for @DIVAmagazine

Feeling emotional right now because of all the messages I’ve received from all the loving communities we share. Thank you for your vulnerability & for sharing your stories with me. I feel proud to be showing up for each & every one of u.

@badqueerspod It’s #BiWeek and we don’t have time for your biphobia. *Miranda Priestly voice* That’s all.

ON INSTAGRAM @jtoboni @seej_lyell thank you for making me your last cover and best wishes on your next adventure Everyone check out the September issue of Diva Magazine!!

@arlo.parks I won the 2021 Hyundai @MercuryPrize!!! These moments are always so complicated to describe but right now I feel this warm, heavy sense of happiness deep inside – my heart is still pounding, I still keep welling up randomly, this means an awful lot to me.

UPFRONT | GET THE LOOK

Get the look:

He's All That

TRAINERS reiss.com, £120

SERVE QUEER PROM REALNESS INSPIRED BY HE’S ALL THAT HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS NISHA AND QUINN

NISHA

By far the best part of Netflix’s new teen romcom, He’s All That, is the surprise queer love story between two gorgeous women of colour. Nisha (Annie Jacob) and Quinn (Myra Molloy) are completely adorable and we are officially obsessed. But let’s talk fashion.

Nisha goes for a grungy vibe, with faded dungarees and utility jackets, while Quinn is preppy perfection in neat blazers and flippy skirts. And when it’s time for their Under The Sea-themed prom, our new favourite lovebirds pull out all the stops. Nisha rocks one hell of a suit (with trainers, because you never know when you’ll have to bust out a highly choreographed dance routine) and Quinn dazzles in the glitziest of midnight blue dresses. Whether you’re planning a coordinating hers + hers lewk for a big night out, or you just want to feel all fancy in your living room, autumn’s here and so are sparkles and swagger.

“I really wanted to make sure it was as authentic as possible. Being a person of Indian ethnicity, I just was excited to bring that representation forward. [As far as] being in the LGBTQI community, I myself, I’m not. So Kelly Quindlen – she writes really popular young adult LGBTQ novels – was a good friend to me through the whole process.

I would text her photos of things and be like, ‘Hey, I don’t want to be stereotypical.

Am I cool?’ She was like, ‘You’re doing great because really it’s just a person [who is attracted to another person]’. It was great to be authentic in that way.”

Annie Jacob talking to Coming Soon about playing queer character, Nisha

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VOICES

VOICES | CHAR BAILEY

“I can’t please everyone, and I don’t have to either” is DIVA’s new features writer, an online influencer and head of wellbeing & education at Birmingham Pride. @char_bailey_

12 OCTOBER 2021

Falling in love with my ’fro CHAR BAILEY reflects on the experiences that shaped her journey towards saying yes to her tresses

T

he wheels crunched over uneven pebbles, sending awkward random vibrations through my pram. I remember opening my mouth wide to make a sound that would whirl into the market street like a washing machine. Whuhuhuhuuhuuuurrrrrrrrrrr. I was happy. Mom was always one of those strong independent women (like the ones Beyoncé sings about), so our almost daily walks into the market were filled with fun and adventure. There was only one thing about our trips that I didn’t like.

Big hair was a “thing” in the 90s, so my mom tells me, as I pick her brain about times gone by. She recalls our market walks with a fondness around her mouth and eyes. As we get to the part of the trip that I didn’t like, it seems mom wasn’t too keen on that bit either. “I think that’s why you had such a thing about it for so long after,” she sighs.

Glaring up from my pram seat, without warning nor invitation, I see what seems like a thousand hands coming for me. I’ve got tactics, so I wriggle down, but I’m strapped in (for safety) and it’s too late anyway. They’re already touching my hair. I don’t like it. They quiz mum ridiculously about whether she’s chemically permed it, how long it takes to curl and joke about her shaving me so they can make a wig. Terrifying!

The market wasn’t the only place I received unsolicited hair touching. Picture some curly hair spirals, long, brown and black, some slightly red, soft, sometimes fluffy with dryness. On some level I understood why people wanted to touch my hair,

it was different to most. I just never understood why that boy took it so far that day at school, the day I decided to never wear my hair “out” again. After it happened, I didn’t stop shaking my head until I got home. I didn’t stop crying either. As I write this, I can still feel the worms in my curls, weighing down my ringlets with shame.

The not wearing my hair out decision didn’t last until “never ever again”, it just took a long time. It’s only when I reflect on my experiences with my hair that I even acknowledge that I’ve been on a journey. I talk from a place of privilege when it comes to the Black hair experience. I haven’t endured the same struggles as others. I fall within the socially constructed beauty standard. However, that doesn’t count for much in the corporate world.

“We’ve got that meeting tomorrow, so do something with your hair, will you? Put it up or something.” I learned to love myself more in my 20s, started experimenting with “the ’fro” – she has a complete mind of her own (all my bad choices are hers alone). In office settings she often wasn’t permitted to shine – not “professional” enough. After years of worrying about the top of my head and what others thought of me, the intended insult of “put it up or something” was a lightbulb moment. It finally occurred to me that, regardless of how I wear my hair, I can’t please everyone, and I don’t have to either.

Now I’ve fallen in love with my ’fro.

Sometimes I braid it and I feel like a boss.

Other times I straighten it and feel like a princess. And when it’s curly and bouncy I feel free.

VOICES | NIC CROSARA

Turning Black queer rage into Black queer joy NIC CROSARA on expressing emotions as a QTPOC

I

have never been comfortable setting handle it. My loved ones encouraged me a place at the table for my anger. I to seek out a Black therapist. After our first always invited passion and excitement session, she asked me how I felt. I told her in and tolerated anxiety at the time, it was like an elastic band had been tied believing it was a by-product of my around my head without me knowing and two favourite guests. But where was it was taken off for the first time. Having a contentment, calm and joy? And why therapist who is able to pick up on subtle was it, that in quiet moments alone in my moments in a story that others would flat, I sensed that I felt nothing at all? have missed has massively helped me to Partway through my second year at understand and claim my emotions. university, I started to realise that I was After growing up in white spaces, it subconsciously masking my emotions. I’d is hard to feel comfortable expressing been dabbling in spoken word events and strong emotions. began to notice that people laughed when Anger is stigmatised, especially when I expected them to cry and cried when I you’re a QTPOC. Not only are there more expected them to laugh. My second poetic experiences to get triggered by, but you’ll awakening came when I received my be deemed aggressive for simply asking grade back for my final performance. I people to not touch your hair and confronhad written what I thought was a very tational if you correct someone on your depressing poem about my mother. Howpronouns. As social minorities we often ever, when I looked at the feedback from gaslight ourselves into believing that we my tutor, I was praised for how I mastered are too much, too sensitive, too reactive. comedy throughout. This was the moment Within the queer community, we talk I realised I am absolutely hilarious, but a lot about the importance of living an only when I am in pain. authentic life. I like to think that I’ve been Therapy has been an excellent tool pretty good at doing this. My next chalfor me over the past 13 years. It’s helped lenge will be expressing my emotions in validate my gender identity, reprocess a genuine way. As queer people of colour, my trauma and become a more confident we need to be comfortable taking up space person. I like to think that I’m a pleasant angrily or messily. We need to learn the client. I’m not afraid to crack tools to say no, to say “fuck jokes, I give great book recomthat” and to pull up a chair at mendations and I’ll tell you the table. anything you want to know, I believed that tapping into other than how I feel. People my anger would move me Black Trans Foundation often describe their defence further away from joy. I was linktr.ee/ mechanisms as barriers or wrong. Since ripping off that blacktransfoundation, walls. Mine felt like pulling band of rage, contentment, calm @blacktransfoundation a heavy blanket of fog over and joy frequent my home. That Black Minds Matter myself, or disappearing into traitorous shrill giggle I used to blackmindsmatteruk.com, an invisibility cloak. do if I ever said anything @blackmindsmatter.uk Three months ago, I uncomfortable is almost gone.

The Black, African and experienced a racist incident Instead, I try to tell it how it is, Asian Therapy Network and reached for the familiar as much as possible. I have a baatn.org.uk blanket, but it wasn’t there. new laugh now. It’s a deep belly Psychology Today UK Instead I was suffocated with laugh that gives Seth Rogen a psychologytoday.com rage and had no idea how to run for his money.

“As queer people of colour, we need to be comfortable taking up space angrily or messily”

MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES

NIC CROSARA

is DIVA’s junior staff writer. They are a bookworm, writer and plant parent who fills their gender-fluid soul by playing way too much Sims 4. @niccrosara

13

VOICES | CHARLIE GEORGE

Turn on, tune in. . then log out CHARLIE GEORGE on the difficulties of navigating modern romance and the world of online dating

“Exhausting, Expensive & Annoying: this should be the tagline for all dating apps”

CHARLIE GEORGE is an award-winning stand-up comedian and writer. charliegeorgecomedy.com @charliegeorgecomedy @CGdoescomedy

14 OCTOBER 2021

H

ot Girl Hancock Summer is over and I couldn’t be more relieved.

Like many, my long-term relationship imploded in the year of doom, 2020. It was just before the first lockdown and ahead of a photoshoot with a renowned comedy photographer, so now all my headshots look like the seven stages of grief.

I must confess to having never dated online before the pandemic and, let’s be gruellingly honest, never having dated much at all. I spent most of my youth obsessed with a rare form of self-harm called “falling in love with straight girls”. There’s very few women in my hometown whose hair I haven’t braided/sniffed while they’ve complained to me about their boyfriends.

This penchant for destructive choices might have something to do with growing up covert queer. I was raised Jehovah’s Witness by my single-parent white mother in Wiltshire, where I’d regularly been told sex was something you only did once married and while chaperoned by a judgemental God who hates you. This, along with being told I was weird, different, other, hideous, hairy, smelt of curry, darker-skinned than my sister and generally undesirable, was enough to blow my self-esteem and inner compass right out.

It came as a shock when I broke away from the religious small-town roots and discovered being “exotic” was suddenly a fetishised positive with people professing, “I’ve always wanted a mixed-race baby,” with a sinister glaze in their eyes as if I was a boat ride through Goa they could show pictures of to their friends.

Still holding tight to my suspicions about modern romance, I decided it was time to join the rest of society on a dating app. I was going to be brave and put

myself out there. To at last make my own choices! Also, there was no other way to meet anyone legally at this time.

Here is my honest assessment of dating on an app during the pandemic...

A Whole New World: A shining, shimmering inbox of pictures of M.I.A, Asian singers and Princess Jasmine made me think we should all try to compliment people without referencing appearance, skin colour or someone else we fantasise about.

Exhausting, Expensive & Annoying: This should be the tagline for all dating apps. Who knew you could spunk so much money on a weeknight, heading to a farflung wine bar only to realise within minutes that, like a SpareRoom house viewing, you have no desire to ever live there?

The Full Range Of Psychopath Available: I grew up thinking I was a covert lesbian until it became clear my sexuality is about as reliable as a horny health secretary when handed the daily death figures.

Turns out I’m pansexual. I’ll fuck anything, like a frog in an Attenborough documentary. If it moves I’ll fuck it. I adjusted the app settings accordingly, opening myself up to the full range of psychopath available.

From getting left in a room while a date passed out naked with her therapy dog to being told “I love you” in a terrifyingly short amount of time only for it to be retracted, it’s safe to say I won’t be reinstalling an app anytime soon!

But what I have learnt is this: we’re all hurting. From the pain in our past to the trauma of the pandemic, there’s a lot of unprocessed stuff. I realise now that my dating avoidance tactics were a lot to do with fear. As autumn approaches, I’m hoping we can all feel brave enough to admit what we actually want and begin to show who we really are to others again.

VOICES | VALENTINO VECCHIETTI

A history of identity VALENTINO VECCHIETTI on exploring the role of family and ethnicity in shaping who they are today

T

he doctor was telling me my dad didn’t survive surgery. I remember wanting to hold his hand one last time and asking if I could. I grew up holding my dad’s hand; it was warm and strong and reassuring.

Weeks before that, I remember watching my dad sleeping in his chair in front of the TV. He was in his 70s. I held my breath, waiting to see his chest rise and fall. I felt a flood of relief when I saw him breathe. It was the late 1990s. I often watched him sleep, checking his breath.

Knowing that one day he wouldn’t take that next breath. His chest wouldn’t rise.

His heart wouldn’t beat.

Just like so many hopeful immigrants who found their way here to the UK, my father’s story is part of British history.

My brown, working class father came to the UK in the southern Italian diaspora after World War II. He married a white, English woman. Her parents wouldn’t accept him. Their marriage was short and full of arguments.

After I was born, they separated. Me and my sister grew up with my dad. He was in his 50s when we were children.

My dad was a single parent in a foreign country, living in a culture he didn’t understand. He was still learning to speak an unfamiliar language. We looked to him for guidance and he always did his best.

My experience growing up in this country has forever shaped who I am and how I see myself.

My father’s genetic code is in my bones and in my blood. His journey, his culture, who he was, his existence, as well as how he was perceived by the people around him, is inextricably tangled up with my own existence. I am mixed. I am intersex. I am a lesbian. I am a writer.

I remember as a child in southern Italy visiting my dad’s family. They were looking at me and my sister. My sister’s

skin was darker than mine, more like my dad’s, and they would say how she looked “just like family”. And then they would look uncertainly at me. I didn’t look like I belonged. And I felt sad, because in the UK no one thought I belonged there either.

Visually I didn’t fit neatly on my mother’s side or my father’s side. Neither family felt I belonged ethnically on their side.

But people always say I have my father’s eyes and that means a lot to me.

I am a mix of my white mother and my brown dad. They made me. But I am also me living now and still trying to make sense of where I belong.

October means two things to me: Black History Month and Intersex Awareness weeks. Intersex Awareness Day is 26 October and 8 November is Intersex Remembrance Day. We usually hold events from around 18 October to 14 November.

In 2001, after my dad died, the UK census finally started recording “mixed” as a category, so that people like me could exist in data.

But the UK census still won’t record physical variations in sex characteristics as a category.

I know many people share histories like mine.

Our stories and our struggles are part of the history of British diversity. I won’t ever forget my father’s struggle, the stories he told me about his life. And I am still trying to understand my own experiences of how we lived as a family in the UK. After my dad died, I held his hand one last time. I looked at my light-skinned hand in his brown hand, and I cried for so many things. One was something I could never make sense of: the impossible barrier created by people around us because of the colours of our skin.

“Visually I didn’t fit neatly on my mother’s side or my father’s side”

VALENTINO VECCHIETTI is a writer, academic, intersex human rights campaigner and a lesbian. They founded Intersex Equality Rights UK. @ValentinoInter

15

FEATURES 24

Dating under the radar What’s it really like being queer in Kyrgyzstan?

26

Becoming mummies Homotopia artist in residence Jade Anouka shares her journey to motherhood

28

Black, asexual superheroes Yasmin Benoit talks becoming the representation she needed

16 OCTOBER 2021

FEATURES | COVER STORY

More info on Contents page 3

rise of Rosanny PHOTO JENNIFER CLASEN/ SHOWTIME

The

THE L WORD: GENERATION Q’S ROSANNY ZAYAS SPEAKS FROM THE HEART ABOUT THE LIFE-CHANGING POWER OF SEEING YOURSELF ON SCREEN, HOW SEX SCENES HELPED HER LOVE HER BODY AND WHAT’S NEXT FOR SOPHIE AFTER THAT JAW-DROPPING SEASON FINALE

WORDS ROXY BOURDILLON

Sophie Suarez is completely naked.

She arches her back, moans in pleasure and grips her “good sheets” as her girlfriend, Dani Nuñez, goes to town between her legs. Finally satiated, Sophie exclaims, “Goddamn! I woke up so horny!” Dani emerges from her thighs and knowingly displays her red-stained fingertips. It’s the very first scene of The L Word: Generation Q’s premiere episode and the message is clear: The L Word is back and it’s bolder and more taboo-busting than ever before.

When I speak to Rosanny Zayas on the phone I have to ask: how did she feel when she read the script for this now infamous opening scene? “I was definitely shocked. I was like, ‘Oh my god, how many times on TV do you experience women actually going through their period?’ I felt lucky. I was like, ‘Oh wow. I get to do this.’ It was also scary ’cause, ‘Oh my god, everyone’s gonna know me for getting my period on TV’. But that passed and then it became such a joyous moment. I’m glad that we got to do that.”

The L Word opened my eyes in terms of what love could look like” Rosanny is chatting to me from the LA home she shares with her beloved dogs, Cody and Izzy. Filming on season two has officially wrapped and we’re here to talk all things Gen Q. Naturally the sex scenes the show is so famous for are high on the agenda.

Rosanny tells me that when she realised just how much she’d have to get her kit off, she had a heart-to-heart with herself. “I was like, ‘I don’t want to hate my body anymore. I want to love my body and I want to be happy in my body, so if this sex scene is going to help me get closer to that, then let’s do it.’” This determination to accept herself in all her glory was revolutionary. “Before you know it, I’m coming to work and I’m not wearing >>>

17

18 OCTOBER 2021

PHOTO ERICA PARISE/ SHOWTIME

FEATURES | COVER STORY a bra! I’m like, ‘Fuck this! I’m going to let myself hang out. I don’t care. Whatever! You can see them on Showtime. Doesn’t matter to me.’ It’s absolutely helped me get closer to appreciating my body and all that it does for me.”

Long before Rosanny was stripping off on the world’s biggest sapphic series, she was watching it in secret.

Yes, like me and quite possibly you, Rosanny was an undercover L Word superfan. Picture the scene: it’s past 11 on a school night and 15-year-old Rosanny is glued to the TV. The show she can’t peel her eyes away from, that she’s watching courtesy of an illegal cable box, is none other than groundbreaking global phenomenon The L Word. Rosanny stares at the screen, the volume turned right down for fear of waking her sleeping family.

She is utterly transfixed by Bette, Alice, Shane and all their talking, laughing, loving, breathing, fighting and, of course, fucking. “I couldn’t even imagine what my mother would have said if she saw me watching a show where women were having sex all the time. Probably would have thought I was watching porn!”

Even as a teenager Rosanny felt in her gut that this programme was “very special”. “It was something I had never seen on television before. The L Word opened my eyes in terms of what love could look like.” Little did she know that one day she would star in its reboot as Sophie, the fun-loving, family-oriented, Afro-Latina TV producer on Alice Pieszecki’s chat show.

Surely her younger self would be totally mind-blown? “Oh yeah, for sure!”

Rosanny laughs. “She’s somewhere out there in the universe watching her boobs on television thinking, ‘Wow! They look good on there!’”

Born in Brooklyn, Rosanny moved back and forth between the Dominican Republic and New York, before her family settled in Queens. Her single mother worked all hours, raising four children and bringing relatives from overseas to join them in the US. “Very much the first generation immigrant story of coming to the States and wanting something better for your family. It was hard. We didn’t grow up with much.”

A shy kid (her mum once took her to a speech therapist because she was so quiet), Rosanny found human con-

>>>

nection and creative expression in the arts, first in music and later theatre.

When she began taking acting classes in high school, she finally felt heard.

She was also undeniably talented. You can see that talent radiating off her in Gen Q. She is a natural, funny and whole-hearted actor, bringing emotional depth and spontaneous humour to her part. It’s no wonder then that after college she won a place at Juilliard, one of the most prestigious drama schools on the planet.

Post-graduation she soon started booking theatre roles and racking up appearances in TV shows including Orange Is The New Black, another notable gamechanger for QTIPOC representation. Then one serendipitous day, she was sent the script for the long-awaited L Word reboot and promptly submitted a self-tape.

I want to love my body and I want to be happy in my body, so if this sex scene is going to help me get closer to that, then let’s do it” Rosanny vividly remembers the moment she received the call from her agent telling her the news: she’d made it through to the final callbacks.

“It was pouring rain outside and I had just left my babysitting job on the Upper West Side in Manhattan. It was a downpour and so I stood there listening to, ‘Well, they’re going to fly you out’. I was just standing outside like, ‘Oh my god’. It was the best day.

Soaking wet!”

She caught a plane to LA, exhilarated and terrified. “I was shitting my pants! I was so nervous for three days straight, so I did whatever I could to calm down. I went to hot yoga. I went to the beach. I went for a walk. I turned my phone off. I didn’t let anyone talk to me.” Her discipline and focus paid off and the chemistry read with Arienne Mandi, aka Dani of opening sex

scene fame, went brilliantly.

Afterwards, Rosanny chatted to showrunner Marja-Lewis Ryan and legendary executive producer Ilene Chaiken. “She is the nicest, sweetest person – oh my goodness – in the world! I wasn’t expecting for them to ask me about my life, how I felt about the LGBTQ+ community and what that meant to me. I remember saying, ‘It’s so funny because no one’s ever taken the time to ask me what I think about certain things in the world, you know?’ Especially as women of colour, we’re just so overlooked, the last to be considered, and here I was sitting in a room where people were asking my opinion. I had never had an audition experience like that before.”

Once again, Rosanny felt she was being listened to. She had a voice and the folks in this room working on this show wanted to hear it. Two days later she got the call. The part was hers and within just one month Rosanny had transported her whole life to sunny LA. The reboot has been an extraordinary success and Rosanny is right at the heart of the new ensemble cast. In an interview with Heavy, showrunner Marja explains, “The show for me was always focused around Sophie. She’s kind of my bookends, my anchor, the point of view that I’m most chasing.”

Sophie is the first person we see in that premiere episode and the season one finale ends with a close-up on her face as she’s running to get her girl, but more on that later. We need to talk about representation.

While the original L Word was hugely impactful for queer visibility, it was not without its issues. In addition to transphobic storylines and biphobic dialogue, there were only a handful of people of colour. In Gen Q, the cast includes Black people, people of colour, people with disabilities, trans folks and, with Sophie and Dani, two Latinas in love. To what extent does Rosanny believe Gen Q rights the wrongs of its predecessor? She answers frankly. “It definitely touches base on that in so many ways. In the regular cast you have such a diverse group of people from different backgrounds. What’s so amazing about Marja and her writing team is that people focus in on the actors and really try to get to know them, not just our fun parts but the parts of us that we’re still learning about. We’re >>>

19

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bringing that authenticity to the story, so I think, especially for Generation Q, there’s been a lot of room to fill in that gap where the first series might have left off.”

As well as the more inclusive cast, one of the main talking points of series one is the love triangle – and Sophie is slap bang in the middle of it, torn between long-term partner Dani and BFF Finley. Sophie and Finley (Sinley) kick off their impromptu bro night downing pints at Dana’s. Before they know it, they’re drunkety-drunk and cosying up in the booth. Then queer anthem Closer by Tegan And Sara comes on the sound system. “What the fuck?” yells Sophie, high-kicking hysterically. “This is my jammy-jam!”

And so they dance together. At first it’s comical, then it’s kind of intimate.

Later that night we see them riding home on a stolen bike, Sophie’s arms wrapped tightly around Finley. She tells her, “You’re the best part of my day. I love the shit out of you.” I know cheating’s not ideal and everything, but my god, this is good TV. When Sinley eventually succumb to their mutual attraction, viewers are treated to a tender, exquisitely tortured love scene. In the green room at Alice’s talk show, they kiss. Hands clasp. They are enthralled with each other. The lighting is soft and glowy as they giggle and caress one another.

It’s sexy and gorgeous, but peppered with moments of searing emotional intensity. Rosanny recalls, “That scene took a really long time to shoot. I remember working with Marja on that, really trying to nail it, to know what it feels like to sacrifice a human moral in order to feel full.”

In the season one finale, Sophie dashes to the airport in her Wildfang suit, breathlessly rushing to get the girl. “But,” we cry out from our sofas in unison, “Which girl exactly?!” It’s the ultimate cliffhanger. Will Sophie elope with fiancée Dani or declare her undying love for best bro-turned-greenroom-girlfriend Finley? “You know, it’s so funny because I still get texts to this day from all my Hispanic friends, people I grew up with, screaming, ‘How could you? You’re a cheater! You, Rosanny, are a cheater! And now you’re running to the airport and you won’t even tell me who you picked!’ And I’m just like, ‘You guys, it’s a character I play on TV. Stop throwing bad words >>>

22 OCTOBER 2021

As women of colour, we’re just so overlooked” at me in Spanish, please.’”

While her friends have made their feelings crystal clear, Rosanny can see pros and cons with both options. “For Dani, it’s a sense of security and stability that Sophie has worked so hard to obtain. But with Finley there’s this sense of adventure. They’ve known each other for so long and they care about each other deeply. I keep thinking about the episode where Sophie has to fight with Dani about getting married at the Biltmore, this fancy, high society building where the only people that look like her were probably the people who were working there.” In that scene Sophie tells Dani, “I don’t want to feel uncomfortable at my own wedding. I want to laugh, I want to yell, I want to eat the food that my family cooked.” “She has to fight for herself in terms of saying, ‘I would like to get married in a place where I feel comfortable being who I am’. With Finley, she doesn’t have to do that. There are a lot of ups and downs to both characters and in season two you get to see that play out in a certain way.” After such an epic first season full of queer joy, gay drama and sizzling sex scenes, I, for one, can’t wait for the new instalment and Rosanny is palpably excited for fans to find out just what happens next.

Speaking to Rosanny, it’s obvious

she adores her job, but I also learn that, for her, acting has always been about the bigger picture. Yes, it’s a way for people to hear her voice, but it’s also about providing a voice for others. Although she was obsessed with TV growing up, watching Friends on the daily and The L Word in secret at night, she never saw anyone who looked like her. “I can’t remember watching a television show and thinking, ‘Oh! There’s that little Dominican girl from New York following her dreams’. Very sad, but also very true, and it’s sad to think that there are millions of people who feel that way.

Most of the world feels that way, probably.” And now here Rosanny is, starring in The L Word: Generation Q and on the cover of DIVA magazine during the UK’s Black History Month and America’s Hispanic Heritage Month, representing Black women, Latinx folks and, as her character Sophie, queer people of colour.

Like Sophie, Rosanny is hilarious and loveable, but she’s also on a very serious mission to provide the kind of representation she so desperately needed but never saw during her formative years. “It’s something that I’ve been working towards my entire life. I definitely want to keep trying to figure out ways to rep more people from different backgrounds and see what it is that connects to them. It’s a life journey. That’s super important and it’s never going to stop.”

Season two of The L Word: Generation Q comes to Sky Atlantic and streaming service NOW on 3 November

PHOTO HILARY BRONWYN GAYLE/ SHOWTIME

Rosanny as Sophie (far right) with the cast of The L Word: Generation Q – both OGs and newbies

FEATURES | COVER STORY

Top: Sophie (left) with best bro-turned-love-interest Finley. Bottom: Sophie (right) with fiancée Dani

23

Dating under the radar WHAT’S IT REALLY LIKE BEING QUEER IN KYRGYZSTAN?

24 OCTOBER 2021

FEATURES | DATING UNDER THE RADAR

When moving to Kyrgyzstan, I knew very little of it. Geographically, I was aware it neighboured Kazakhstan and China. Architecturally, I expected the influence of Russia, as the country had been a republic of the Soviet Union. As a lesbian, I had no idea what was in store.

Before starting my new role as a kindergarten teacher, I decided to cycle across Bishkek: the bustling, river-valley city I would now call home. With more than 80% of the population being Muslim, I expected to see a variety of head coverings.

Instead, I experienced salons on every street with women proudly showcasing their new blow-dries, extensions or colour experiments. I’d imagined homes would be limited in their alcohol supply, with perhaps the odd bottle of bubbly dusted off for special occasions. In reality, I’d walk into stores with aisles dedicated to Kyrgyz cognac and more bottles of vodka than I’d ever seen. I distinctly remember one 15p juice-style carton of vodka, perfect for a cheeky lunch box!

As frequently as Azaan, the Islamic call to prayer, would vibrate through streets, I’d experience another surprise along with a lesson in correcting my own prejudices.

As many will know, starting a new job requires deciding whether to come out or not. I’d always proudly stated my sexual orientation at work, but I knew I’d need to take more care here. While the Foreign, Commonwealth & Development Office states that homosexuality is legal in Kyrgyzstan, many commentators, including Human Rights Watch, suggest ill treatment of LGBTQI people. Notably, local police forces are often linked to violence, discrimination and extortion of queer communities.

After a friendly first morning, I opened up to a female colleague, who I’ll refer to as G, by mentioning my ex-girlfriend over lunch. Immediately G went silent, stood up and walked away. What I had intended as a subtle reveal had abruptly ended our meal.

Hanging up classroom bunting, our afternoon was filled with sounds of shuffling and literal pins dropping.

Neither of us uttered a word. Had I already offended someone by oversharing?

Towards the end of our afternoon, I felt the softest tap on my shoulder.

G asked if I needed a ride home. Confused by our reticent afternoon yet the kindness of this favour, I nodded.

Once white, her mushroomcoloured 4x4 looked like a post-Soviet version of a tin-box TARDIS. In contrast, G stood tall with waves of thick, carbon-black hair; she was elegant and delicate in her mannerisms, yet bold and intent with her glances. She remained silent walking to the car, other than informing me that her old banger didn’t have any airbags. She smiled as I tried to determine if this was a joke.

You’re not the only person here who enjoys kissing women”

KRISHA KAY GANDHI is a nomadic lesbian who teaches by day and writes by night.

Time went slowly as she pushed down her clutch. What would we talk about? Would this ride be one long, awkward silence? I stuttered numerous ways of saying, “Thanks for the ride”.

At our first traffic lights, a police officer paraded his orange baton and blew his hyena-loud whistle, overriding any modern light system. He kept us halted. G inhaled an ominous breath, put us into neutral and darted her first question: “So you’ve dated women?”

Over the next three days, I looked forward to our car rides home and possibilities of traffic. G wouldn’t say much to me during work, but at 4:30pm the bell would ring, students would flock to exit, and she’d whisk into my new classroom, throw me a smile and charmingly order, “Let’s go”.

Other teachers would wait at the bus stop under the sharp Central Asian sun, confused as to how I’d secured carpool rides so early into working at the school. G and I would buckle up and her questions continued.

“How do you know you like women? Does your family know? How many women have you kissed? Will

you settle down with a man?”

It felt like a round of Mastermind.

I enjoyed the game and I assumed G enjoyed discovering these new topics.

On our first Friday of driving together, she slowly pulled up to my pastel pink, Stalinist-style apartment block. Our goodbyes had developed from “ok then, see you later” on Monday to a warm, friendly hug by Thursday. This was now the first day we knew we wouldn’t see each other the next. She put her hazards on. I decided to initiate a hug. She locked the car doors.

My body clenched up. Had I been set up? Would I be arrested? Or did she simply want to find out a little more?

“You know,” she started, her body shuffling some 35 degrees toward me, “You’re not the only person here who enjoys kissing women”.

I’ve replayed this moment mentally many times. There are so many questions I could have asked and so many actions that could have been taken. Turning 35 degrees toward her, I replied cautiously, “Are you gay too?”

“I’m married.” Her answer was as stern as it was short. I looked and waited, silently. She continued: “I have kids.” Again, abrupt and to the point.

A hoarse tickle in my throat suggested my need to know more. She placed her hand on my knee, and the warmth of her palm hugged my skin.

Noticing the car’s unusual radio, I signalled toward the volume control – a horizontal feature. Clasping the notch between my thumb and my index finger, I started to slide it forward. “Imagine this is a spectrum,” I proposed. “I’m pretty much here,” I stated adamantly as I forced the notch as far right as it could go. “If the other side is completely straight, where are you?”

G chose never to answer that question directly. Instead, 10 months of daily car rides became my textbooks to learning about queer life in Kyrgyzstan and traffic jams were my opportunity to dig deeper. Our daily goodbyes taught me I wouldn’t have to fully hide and our glances at each other, in the corridors and over our lunches, reminded me that, albeit under the radar, nothing can repress queer chemistry.

25

Becoming mummies

PHOTO THE OTHER RICHARD

HOMOTOPIA FESTIVAL HAS COMMISSIONED THIS YEAR’S ARTIST IN RESIDENCE, JADE ANOUKA, AND HER PARTNER, UK BEATBOX CHAMPION AND ELECTRO-POP ARTIST GRACE SAVAGE, TO CREATE AN AUDIO PIECE RECOUNTING THEIR JOURNEY TOWARDS PARENTHOOD. HERE, JADE OFFERS A PEEK AT THEIR STORY...

26 OCTOBER 2021

FEATURES | QUEER PARENTING It’s February 2019 when Grace and I go to our first meeting at the fertility clinic. We’ve been talking about being parents for a while. I had probably mentioned it on our first date, I can be like that: intense. I’d always imagined being a mum whereas Grace never did – wasn’t particularly against it, just never gave it much thought. That’s until I came on the scene.

We go into that first meeting so ignorant about what trying for a baby as two women entails, how much it costs or how low the success rates are. I discover all about my reproductive organs, understand periods and ovulation in a way I never did before.

(Why are we not really taught this stuff at school?) We realise we don’t have enough money and this might be a much longer process than anticipated. So we wait. Decide we’ll try in a year and do our best to save and live what we call the sensi-baller life (not too ridiculous, but definitely enjoying what we think will be our last year before baby stuff begins).

By Feb 2020 I’ve done my preliminary tests and we’re advised to start IUI with my next cycle... shit, I could be pregnant in a month! March 2020 brings its own pause button.

The clinics close. We’re gutted. We did Dry Jan this year and I’ve kept it up to be as healthy as possible, but with the lockdown we think “fuck it”.

Cocktail o’clock starts earlier with each government announcement and, with us both being artists (I’m an actor, Grace is a musician), all our work is gone in a flash. We laze about in the heatwave, creating art when we aren’t half-cut, a dream of sorts, we feel very lucky.

June arrives and clinics reopen, except Grace isn’t allowed in with me. July comes and I have my first insemination. I’m young enough, I think, and my fertility MOT suggests everything is working well and, to be honest, we’re confident that this is it. In two weeks we’ll do a pregnancy test and booyah! The start of the rest of our lives. But no. The negative result is hard, but hey, we’ve bought the three IUI package (cheaper, you see) and enough vials from the sperm bank for two more goes. Luckily I’m regular, like clockwork, so we try again in August and September. But after the painful two-week waits all that shows its face is the one line of doom.

Time to fork out for more IUI. “There’s no reason you shouldn’t be pregnant,” the doctor says. And the sperm’s from a reputable bank, so that can’t be the problem. It just happens when it happens, I guess...

We haven’t told anyone we’re trying for a baby, but anyone that knows us knows it’s on the cards. We’re glad for lockdown, so we can deal with the lows as a couple without prying eyes, intrusive questions... We take the clinic’s offered counselling session – online, of course.

The lows are low, the struggle is real, the needles are sharp and the hormones are strong”

is an actor, poet and writer who has starred in the Donmar Warehouse’s all-female Shakespeare Trilogy and BBC/ HBO’s His Dark Materials. @jadeanouka

October insemination: negative.

November insemination: negative.

The doctor says maybe the sperm and egg don’t like each other. So we look for a new donor and, strangely, find one that’s even more perfect than the last. We buy a vial and ready ourselves for the final chance. The doctor says she’d never recommend more than six IUI attempts. If it hasn’t worked by

now, it probably ain’t gonna work, but also our mental health is suffering.

We put all our hope on this one.

December, give us a Christmas gift.

Even fork out for extra supportive hormones and a trigger shot to give it the best chance. The two-week wait is agony. By now, some filming gigs have started back and I’m working abroad when it’s time to test. I have Grace on video call and we wait for two lines to appear – and there it is: one line really clear, but also, isn’t that another line? Fainter, but surely... isn’t it? I take pictures of the stick in different lights to send to Grace. She can’t see the second line and, after many tears, lots of googling and four more tests, I agree it’s probably because there wasn’t ever one.

We try everything to help these last few goes: acupuncture, eating healthy, not moving, moving, trying to stay calm. It’s hard not to think you’re doing something wrong when all the science says it should work.

Our next option is IVF. That’s a whole other challenge. One that – despite Grace not being able to accompany me to any meetings, internal scans, tests, surgery – brings us closer. The lows are low, the struggle is real, the needles are sharp and the hormones are strong. But when that positive result finally arrives in March this year, we shake, we cry and we have been riding off that high ever since.

Amazingly, the day I go to the clinic for our seven-week scan, partners are being allowed in from that day. So Grace is at my side when we first see our baby, looking like some kind of raving tadpole. It’s an incredible feeling – and to experience it together! We feel so lucky to be able to say we are expecting our little one this November and with every major milestone we cross, the anticipation and joy grows. I am writing this as I enter the third trimester. Our little one is arriving soon and we can’t wait to meet them.

Becoming Mummies will be available online at homotopia.net from 28 October – 14 November

Homotopia is the UK’s longest-running LGBTQIA arts and culture festival.

Join Jade Anouka, Rosie Jones, Jinkx Monsoon and more at this year’s event, taking place in Liverpool and online from 28 October – 14 November. Find out more at homotopia.net/festival.

27

I was always drawn to people who didn’t fit the status quo. My superheroes didn’t wear capes. They were just people who knew and owned their power, carved their own space and were unapologetically themselves. It was that punk rock attitude that gave them flight in my mind, as I learned from a young age that I needed that attitude to get through life. I grew up never seeing reflections of who I was. I didn’t see people like me on television, I didn’t see people like me in the streets. Being the only Black girl in the room wasn’t an unusual experience.

Being the odd one out was normal to the point where adding the extra layer of dressing, like a little wannabe punk kid, didn’t seem too counterproductive. While it meant sitting

28 OCTOBER 2021

YASMIN BENOIT ON BECOMING THE VISIBLE REPRESENTATION SHE ALWAYS NEEDED

YASMIN BENOIT is a model, award-winning asexuality activist and the creator of #thisiswhat asexuallookslike

alone at lunch, it made me feel closer to who I wanted to be and truer to who I already was. It was like my costume. Being different was never something to be feared, because it had always been part of my experience – as was the experience of being rejected for it. It was that experience which made accepting my asexuality – my lack of sexual attraction to others – that much easier. It wasn’t the weirdest thing about me and being “weird” wasn’t a bad thing. At least, it wasn’t a bad thing to me.

The awareness surrounding LGBTQI+ people has increased exponentially in the past decade, and our conversations about sexuality have become more diverse and nuanced.

Well, they have for some orientations and identities. Asexuality hasn’t quite managed to break into mainstream consciousness to the same degree.

When it does make an appearance, it tends to be depicted in a rigid way, a way which suggests that asexuality isn’t something you find in people like me.

Finding white asexual representation wasn’t difficult. When I searched about asexuality online as a teenager, I found many young white people explaining experiences that sounded strikingly similar to mine. I could see them on TED Talk stages, in articles, on blogs and on social media. As I got older, I started seeing asexual characters in other forms of media. I saw the pale face of Todd on BoJack Horseman, the young blonde Liv on Emmerdale, the animated but white Jughead from the Archie Comics and the red-headed Florence on Sex Education (for about four minutes).

When it came to the depictions of asexuality that media professionals deemed the most palatable, they leaned towards the white experience.

When it came to the people who felt most comfortable being loud in the asexual community, the people that the community related to, empathised with and therefore amplified, they also tended to be white. This

kind of visibility has created the impression that asexuality is largely a “white thing” and made it harder for people to believe that I, as a young Black woman in a society that hypersexualises us, could be asexual.

At the same time, I contemplated how much I’d fit within the asexual community I was naturally a part of, and whether I’d be left feeling like the odd one out yet again. It wasn’t until late 2017 that I “publicly” came out as asexual to my online audience, thinking it was ironic to complain about not seeing many Black asexual people in the media when I wasn’t actively trying to change it.

You can be openly and unapologetically asexual, thriving and happy” However, there was a good reason I hadn’t done that sooner. I didn’t think anyone would really care about what I had to say, nor did I think I was the kind of representation the asexual community would want. After all, I was the opposite of the other people being held up as an example of a more ideal asexual person and I’d spent most of my life hearing, “You don’t seem asexual,” from those I told. But, much to my surprise, my difference was seen as a strength, and I found myself at the forefront of a mission I was just starting and a community that I was still getting to know.

While the journey began quickly, the ride wasn’t necessarily easy.

As with most people setting out to push boundaries, there’s going to be backlash. Not everyone got me.

Some within the asexual community

PHOTO PARANOID ANDROID, WARDROBE MARIEMUR

“I didn’t see any Black asexual superheroes so I became one”

FEATURES | ASEXUAL SUPERHERO

thought I seemed inherently threatening and unrelatable. Some within the media thought that my image didn’t coincide with what an asexual person should be, and preferred to replace me with a lighter counterpart. Some viewing the media that I was allowed to take part in thought that I was particularly deserving of violent and discriminatory comments.

But then, there were the positive ones. I started to hear that I was inspiring others to come out to their families, accept themselves and be more open about who they were.

It wasn’t necessarily because of anything I had written, what outfit I had been photographed in or what platforms I had spoken on, but simply because I was showing that you can be openly and unapologetically asexual, thriving and happy. It was then that I realised I had become the superhero, not just to others but to myself. After many years of growth, patience and perseverance, I had started to embody everything that would have inspired me when I was younger. I was carving my own space and staying true to myself, despite the difficulties.

I’ve never wanted to inspire asexual people to see me as a superhero. I’ve never wanted people to feel like they needed to wait for one. I want to inspire people to see the superhero in themselves and find their own strength, so they can follow their own path and handle whatever invalidation, disapproval or criticism is thrown at them. It wasn’t the Instagram likes, media coverage or party invites that gave me my self-worth. That’s come from knowing I can achieve more than I imagined, connect to people of all different walks of life and create change that can hopefully benefit all of us. It’s a feeling I want to spread. That’d be my superpower.

Ace Week, formerly known as Asexual Awareness Week, is 24 – 30 October

More info on Contents page 3

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Boyn Heights

CULTURE

rebel dykes FROM EPIC SQUAT PARTIES TO URGENT POLITICAL MARCHES, TWO WOMEN SHARE THEIR MEMORIES OF THE 1980S SUBCULTURE

The POSE star on her new movie and embracing her true self

38

Hollyoaks makes history The soap brings Black, non-binary representation to the small screen

32 OCTOBER 2021

More info on Contents page 3

Rebel Dykes is screening at Iris Prize LGBT+ Film Festival, which takes place 5 – 10 October. Find out more at irisprize.org. Rebel Dykes will be released in cinemas on 26 November. See venues at bfi.org.uk/releases. To learn about the rebel dykes visit rebeldykeshistoryproject.com and follow @RebelDykes on social media

WORDS ROXY BOURDILLON

34

Hailie Sahar

The rebel dykes were a trailblazing community of young, queer punks living in London in the 80s.

They were loud. They wore a lot of leather. They were known to abseil into the House of Lords and wrestle each other in paddling pools full of baked beans at BDSM clubs. They were unapologetically political, sex positive, DIY and in-yer-face.

Basically, they were absolute legends, and in Riot Productions’ riotous new film, Rebel Dykes, produced by Siobhan Fahey and directed by Harri Shanahan and Siân A. Williams, you can hear their extraordinary stories, experience their unstoppable spirit and marvel at this too-often forgotten chapter of queer history. Ahead of a special screening event at this year’s Iris Prize LGBT+ Film Festival, two OG rebel dykes share their memories with DIVA.

CULTURE | REBEL DYKES

Dixie Thomas

PHOTOGRAPHER AND MUSICIAN DIXIE DISCOVERED THE SCENE ON A WILD NIGHT OUT AT WOMEN-ONLY FETISH CLUB CHAIN REACTION “I moved to London from Essex in the mid 80s as a baby punk.

England was very poor. Thatcher was doing her thing. I was squatting in Brixton. There was a huge dyke community. Just living was political, so marching, squatting, going out, sex – everything was interconnected.

How did I get involved with the rebel dykes? Lots of squatters would go to Chain Reaction on a Tuesday night. It was at the Market Tavern, a concrete building, glass windows all blacked out. It wasn’t posh. It was all the things you think of with a sex club: dark, dank, sweaty.

Everyone looked very sexy: leather everywhere, butch and femme, punky types, hats, harnesses, cowboy pants with no bum, naked breasts, lots of wobbly bits on show, the obligatory leather jacket. I had a big Mohi-

,,

can and then later I had no hair.

The actual performance was the big thing. It was intense.

Some German girls came. They did a whole whipping scene and had people chained up in supermarket cages they’d nicked. That was very much about discipline and domination. It didn’t always end in sex. Sometimes it would just be wrestling. Baked beans is the one I remember. They had a paddling pool on the floor. You could put your hand up and go and wrestle together. I wasn’t that brave! I was a voyeur.

At the end of the night, everyone used to pile out. I always used to be singing, screaming up the street, (If You Don’t Wanna Fuck Me, Baby) Fuck Off!! by Wayne County. Yeah, we used to get very drunk.

It all meshes in together.

Clause 28 marches and Pride marches are all the same to me.

Marches were about being visible. It was a punk ethos about being very loud, very present, very visible and you made a lot of noise so people saw you.

There was an energy about the time. I’m feeling that buzz again now and it’s almost like stepping back into the 80s. A lot of the tensions that were there then are there now. Remember, we’re a community.

With the rebel dyke thing, it was very inclusive. People of colour went, but it wasn’t the norm. But it was welcoming, definitely. No one was excluded.

And towards the end, people were beginning to express more trans identity and drag identity.

People have just got to remember that these people are us.

Protect everyone! Love!”

It was a punk ethos about being very loud, very present, ,, very visible

Yvonne Taylor

THE ENTREPRENEUR, PROMOTER AND DOYENNE OF LGBTQI NIGHTLIFE FOUND ACCEPTANCE AND ADVENTURE AMONG THE REBEL DYKES “I arrived in London around 1984 and I started to run a women’s club called Sistermatic at the women’s centre in Brixton. The rebel dykes turned up to the first one, all punked up: green hair, purple hair, boots, leathers – you name it. They were my favourite women that ever came to those parties.

I spent a lot of time with them, in their squats and on demos in London.

I started DJing at their gigs. Oh my god, the parties were proper squat parties, a hot mess. I come from a council estate in Nottingham. I’d not long come out of the army, so it was all a bit, ‘Whoa, what is happening here?’ Their parties were legendary. I wasn’t very punky, but I felt relaxed and chilled there. It

,,

allowed me a space to evolve my own ideas. That’s when I realised that I was probably more queer than lesbian. It was a whole different way of living.

I’ve got very fond memories of my time with those women.

I remember turning up late one night, I wasn’t in a particularly great state. Those women sorted me out, kicked me up the backside and rebooted me.

They didn’t patronise me. They allowed me to express myself.

That’s what I miss even today.

It’s very difficult amongst the women’s scene to really express yourself unless you’re expressing what is the general feeling.

That’s one of the first times I was able to go somewhere, feeling emotional, and I was able to express that emotion.

The rebel dykes made me feel normal and ok. They afforded me some space to experiment with things that were going off in my head. The whole thing around sexual freedom. I didn’t have to accept one way of being in a relationship.

There were a number of Black women involved with the rebel dykes. One of the key people was Avie, this butch lesbian punk, who was my main inspirational person when I came to London. Unfortunately she passed away. There were a few other Black women. Obviously there weren’t thousands. But it seemed to me that there were a lot more Black women comfortably being themselves in that group than in the majority of other mainly white-run women’s groups.

I would definitely say I was one of that era’s rebel dykes and I still am! I don’t fit into a box, I don’t want to fit into a box.”

The rebel dykes made me fe el normal,, and ok

33

THE STAR OF POSE AND SIR LADY JAVA OPENS UP ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO SHAPED HER LIFE AND SHARES A POWERFUL MESSAGE FOR HER TRANS SIBLINGS

WORDS ROXY BOURDILLON

34 OCTOBER 2021

CULTURE | HAILIE SAHAR

PHOTO KEM WEST

When she was 15 years old, Hailie Sahar discovered the ballroom scene and her life was changed forever. “It was this mind-blowing experience, because these were people that connected me to the gods I always knew were existing. I got thrust into this underground world of celebrities.” She glows with pleasure as she tells me over Zoom: “I’m smiling, because it makes me happy!”

At the time, she could never have imagined that she would go on to star in Ryan Murphy’s TV tour de force, POSE, as Lulu Ferocity (née Abundance), bringing ballroom culture and issues including the Aids and HIV epidemic, and transphobic violence, to a mainstream audience.

For the uninitiated, ball culture refers to the revolutionary AfricanAmerican and Latinx queer nightlife scene that exploded in New York in the 1980s. At these extravagant events, people dress up and “walk” in different categories (High Fashion Evening Wear, Legendary Runway, Bring It Like A Weather Girl) competing to win trophies for their “house” and countercultural fame for themselves. In POSE, house mother Blanca Evangelista explains it this way: “Balls are a gathering of people who are not welcome to gather anywhere else, a celebration of a life that the rest of the world does not deem worthy of celebration... This is our moment to become a star.”

Hailie was instantly enamoured with ball culture. After all, she’d trained as a dancer and been performing her whole life. At 18, she became one of the youngest ever house mothers in LA, leading the House of Rodeo. Her favourite category to walk and win? Face. “It was such a glamorous category, where you get to admire the beauty of people, and more specifically, trans women.” The category she reigned in most often, though, was Realness. She acknowledges that

the term is now widely considered to be problematic. “In the ballroom scene, ‘Realness’ means that you’re able to blend into the cis world, but I’ve always appreciated everything. I appreciate the vogue. I love the culture and I love what it can do.”

It wasn’t just glitter, glory and “10s, 10s, 10s across the board” that Hailie found in the ball scene. She found a way to embrace her true self as well. “I remember vividly, there was this woman after an event and someone said to me, ‘Do you know that’s a trans woman?’ I said, ‘What is that?’

I was fascinated, because she was so beautiful and I was like, ‘This is me.

This is who I am.’ The ballroom scene gave me the confidence to take the leap into the next journey of my life, into my butterflyism. It allowed me space to hone my craft and learn the things that little girls learn growing up, how to walk in heels.” She chuckles, “Actually, I kind of already knew how to walk in heels. I’m not gonna lie. I used to wear my mom’s heels.”

Her voice full of grace and poise, Hailie clarifies that she does not identify as “a trans woman”, rather she is “a woman who happens to be of trans

If you don’t know your history, you don’t know how strong you are” experience”. “Certain labels are what make us think we’re different from the next person. I’m just Hailie, I’m myself and I don’t want to be boxed into anything.”

Hailie talks about her upbringing, growing up as “a preacher’s kid” in a deeply religious, Baptist family.

“When I did decide to tell my family, I expressed it to my mother. Being the magical woman she is, she did as much research as she could and was there to support me.” When Hailie made the decision to do hormone therapy, her mother was right there next to her at the doctor’s appointment. “My father’s side was the complete opposite.” After she wrote a letter to her grandfather, a pastor, a family meeting was called. “I >>>

35

CULTURE | HAILIE SAHAR

Performer and activist, Lady Java

>>>

remember like it was just a few moments ago. It’s never left my brain.

I remember, one by one, them telling me how they would not accept me.”

For many years, Hailie was unsure how much of her history she wanted to disclose in her professional life. “It was scary, but I decided to be open, because people have a misconception of what trans looks like, what trans is and what trans sounds like.”

Before she was cast in POSE, she had been working incredibly hard and taking endless meetings, but to no avail. “I was tired of not having the opportunities that I knew people like me deserved.” All that changed when she read the script for an exciting new drama about her beloved ball culture.

It seemed meant to be.

Hailie originally auditioned for the roles of Elektra and Blanca, but showrunner Ryan Murphy was so bowled over he decided to write a brand new part especially for her and so Lulu Abundance was born and Hailie’s career went stratospheric. She was overjoyed. Once again, the ball scene had changed her life for the better.

“All the things I had gone through started to make sense. I needed those traumas, because now I can talk about them and I can help other people.”

36 OCTOBER 2021

When POSE premiered in 2018, it changed the game in the entertainment industry by featuring a mostly transgender cast. With spectacular musical numbers, eye-opening storylines and just so much warmth and heart, the show has proved phenomenally popular with critics and viewers alike. “I’ve had so many of my trans sisters and trans brothers DM me, message my team, say that they see themselves in me. I see myself in them too and it’s a good feeling.”

The world loves POSE and ballroom is big news once more. But Hailie is quick to emphasise that viewers shouldn’t just sit back and let the visual splendour of POSE wash over them. Instead we must stand up, pay attention and take action. “It’s extremely important, because these are really people’s lives. The statistics of suicide, the rate of abandonment and even the drug use that people indulge in just to cope... More people need to listen to the cries and not ignore them. You can’t ignore them anymore.”

Our conversation turns to Hailie’s latest film, Sir Lady Java, which she is both executive producing and starring in. She is so thrilled about

You are flawlessly created” the project, she can’t help “cheesing from ear to ear”. Sir Lady Java depicts the true story of the gorgeous New Orleans-born showgirl and pioneering activist who rose to fame in the 1960s. One of the first transgender women of colour to make it in showbiz, she was a captivating performer who danced onstage in bejewelled bikinis, appeared on TV, radio and in magazines like JET, Ebony and The Advocate, and won adoration from legions of fans including icons like Lena Horne and James Brown. But more than that, Java stood up for her rights and fought against transphobic and racist discrimination. When the LAPD targeted her in 1967, citing “Rule Nine”, which outlawed performers “impersonating” the opposite sex, she held a public demonstration and took her battle for justice all the way to the Supreme Court.

Hailie found out about Java when

“an older gentleman” told her how much she reminded him of her.

When Hailie looked her up, she was “wowed”. “Java was the first open person of our kind to be acknowledged

by Hollywood. She changed the laws we now exist in today. When we see people like RuPaul or even myself – allowing us to work in spaces, that was not possible. You would be thrown in jail. I was like, ‘I have to tell this story, I have to find this woman’.”

It took Hailie almost a decade to track Java down. “She is very old Hollywood, very classy, very private and very selective. It was a series of truly letting down our guards with each other, really forming a friendship.”

The pair have become extremely close. “Java is one of my trans mothers, which I haven’t publicly said.”

She’s even gifted Hailie her exquisite “black velvet coat with all these multicoloured jewels”. “I’m going to frame it. I may wear it in the film, so if you see that coat, that’s Java’s coat. I feel like I have a piece of history.”

From the 1980s ballroom scene in POSE to 1960s Hollywood in Sir Lady Java, Hailie is committed to sharing untold stories from the past. “If you don’t know your history, you don’t know how strong you are. You come from brilliance. Java’s brilliant. She did something that shaped the world.

Java should have a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame.”

Hailie is a true trailblazer. Inspired by the amazing women who helped shape her life, including her “magical”, ever-loving mother, the legends of the ball scene and, of course, the magnificent Lady Java, Hailie is now paving the way herself and creating powerful and much-needed representation for countless others.

Our time is almost up, so I ask if she has a parting message for people of colour who are also of trans experience. “I want to keep it simple, strong, classy and precise: My dearest sister or my dear brother, you are flawlessly created. You are ahead of your time. I love you tremendously.

You’re fierce. Keep pushing that envelope. Keep challenging the thought processes of other people.

Never dim your light. If they’re not at where you’re at yet, allow them to catch up to you. But don’t stop being who you are because of someone’s negligence. That’s what I’d say.”

CULTURE | SCREEN

Recognising the importance of diversity and seeing ourselves positively represented from a young age, the new pre-school series from the Obamas’ production company is an animated adaptation of beloved children’s book Ada Twist, Scientist. The story focuses on eight-yearold Black scientist, Ada, who explores ways to make the world a better place through discovery and friendship. Showrunner Kerri Grant says: “To be a part of bringing a show to kids that features a young, Black girl being unapologetically the smartest kid in the room, in a world as diverse and visually stunning as the one created by the book series’ author and illustrator, fills my heart to capacity.” Inspiration for the little ones in your life.

Streaming on Netflix now

SEX EDUCATION: SEASON 3

PHOTOS LARA SOLANKI/NETFLIX, AMAZON STUDIOS, NETFLIX, SAM TAYLOR/NETFLIX

Created by Laurie Nunn

We’ve always loved Sex Education for its diverse cast and open exploration of sex, gender and sexuality, which is why we’ve completely fallen for new Black, non-binary student Cal (musician Dua Saleh), who confidently introduces themselves with: “My pronouns are they/them” (we love to see it) and challenges the school’s gendered toilets and strict uniform policy under tyrannical new headteacher Hope (Girls’ Jemima Kirke). But it’ll take more than her draconian new measures to quash the spirit of the Moordale students: alongside the ongoing will they/won’t they and characteristically awkward moments, expect a particularly memorable rendition of Fuck The Pain Away by the high school choir and sexual liberation aplenty...

Streaming on Netflix now

SCREEN

Created by Chris Nee

BY KAT HALSTEAD

Pick of the Month

ADA TWIST, SCIENTIST

MY NAME IS PAULI MURRAY Directed by Julie Cohen and Betsy West

This incredible documentary cements the legacy of a trailblazing pioneer of American civil rights, whose fight for race and gender equality precedes the big names celebrated in history books. Pauli Murray was an activist, lawyer, professor, poet and priest, and audio recordings of the subject’s own memoir are joined here by archive material and talking heads to focus the spotlight on a brave, unstoppable force who embraced intersectionality in a way that was decades ahead of its time and whose work has been credited for huge legal wins in racial and gender equality (and cited by Ruth Bader Ginsburg, no less). Gender non-conforming and spending much of their later life in a same-sex relationship – though Pauli never addressed either publicly at the time – it is fitting that their groundbreaking final law school paper continues to form the basis of fights for LGBTQI equality in court today. This is a name worth remembering.

Available on Amazon Prime now

News

TV

Film

DVD

Stream

DEAR WHITE PEOPLE: SEASON 4 Created by Justin Simien

The popular Netflix show centring a group of Black students at a prestigious, predominantly white university promises to go out with a bang in its final season. Creator Justin Simien has said the writers reflected on the question: “What happens to a Black life after it’s been declared that it mattered?” As well as tackling issues surrounding race, gender and sexuality – previous episodes have explored femme erasure and gender-fluidity – the final season features a new character played by Queer Eye’s Karamo Brown and has a musical theme. That’s right, expect a few tunes to break out in those Ivy League corridors as the students navigate their final year, post-pandemic – and Sam concentrates on taking down the secret society silencing sexual assault allegations. The first three seasons are streaming on Netflix now, so there’s no excuse not to get up to speed!

Streaming on Netflix now

KAT HALSTEAD is a writer and movie buff with a penchant for female-led flicks. @kathalstead 37

Small screen, big moment

38 OCTOBER 2021

DIVA MEETS THE ACTORS BEHIND TV’S HISTORIC BLACK, NON-BINARY ROMANCE

INTERVIEW VALENTINO VECCHIETTI

Black To Front special throughout Channel 4: we are seeing continued diversity, rather than seeing a special event and then nothing. That was something we really needed from this.”

Listening to Ki and Tylan speak passionately about making history and representing, it feels like we are at a pivotal point and remarkable things are happening.

Ki explains, “I don’t think that anyone has ever seen two Black, non-binary characters in a television drama before, so that alone is insane, but we also have so many examples within the episode of positive Black relationships.

I don’t think that anyone has ever seen two Black, non-binary characters in a television drama before” “I can’t express how much we need to see examples of present Black fathers, positive relationships between Black women and Black men, positive queer, Black relationships.

And I really feel with the writing and performances that we’ve managed to bring that to life on screen.”

It’s all happening on Channel 4’s Hollyoaks. I have followed the show for years and it has an impressive history of creating space and representation for marginalised communities.

And the focus of their current, Black, non-binary romantic storyline is no exception.

This year Ki’s character, Rip-

Ki (left) and Tylan as Ripley and Brooke on Hollyoaks

ley, came out as non-binary – the first non-binary soap character to be played by a non-binary actor. A few months later, Tylan’s character, Brooke, came out as non-binary too.

These storylines have been wonderfully positive and uplifting, and fans have excitedly watched as the characters’ growing friendship developed into romance last month in the pivotal Black To Front special episode.

“I have been lucky enough, along-

PHOTO LIME PICTURES

Tylan Grant is laughing and clapping, “Oh my god, he worded it perfectly!”

I just read them a quote from Black director, Patrick Robinson: “Overstanding other people’s cultures, I believe, is one giant step towards an inclusive society and drama is one of the best tools to do that.”

Tylan is a Black, non-binary actor, and portrays non-binary character Brooke Hathaway in Hollyoaks. We are talking over Zoom about representing, love and friendship.

“Overstanding – yes, that is a quote! It’s so true. A lot of ignorance comes through when people haven’t got exposure to see other people’s lives. That is why it is so important on television for people to see our stories, our love, our joy, our pain and our celebration. Being able to celebrate that is a blessing.”

Tylan is talking about Hollyoaks’ hour-long special episode entirely written, directed and performed by the show’s Black talent. It aired as part of Channel 4’s Black To Front event on 10 September.

In a separate Zoom interview, I am chatting with my friend, non-binary and intersex, Black actor Ki Griffin. They are Tylan’s co-star and play non-binary character Ripley Lennox.

Ki tells me, “I absolutely adored working with Patrick Robinson because of his drive to create a piece of media that was groundbreaking and honest to the kind of stories that we were trying to tell.

“The entirety of the Black cast were all itching to do something like this. We want that representation. Not to mention the cast that came on for the Black To Front episode – many of them are continuing in the show. It’s really lovely to see higher diversity in the cast.

“That is the beauty of doing this

CULTURE | HOLLYOAKS

side Tylan, to portray a non-binary, Black love story. And I’m like, ‘What?

That’s on television! What?’ It has been such a joy!” Ki exclaims.

Tylan is emphatic: “I really hope that us being on that screen can be an inspiration for someone who feels like there isn’t room for them. I want people to know that they can do it too. They really can heal and they can find love.

“There is someone out there that is rooting for them, and that sees

them, and who they don’t have to explain themselves to – that is what I love so much about Brooke and Ripley.”

Ki reflects on their off-screen friendship: “I absolutely adore Tylan.

We get on so well and are really good friends outside of the show now.”

The feeling is mutual. Tylan adds, “Getting to know Ki has been amazing. I remember when Ki came to Hollyoaks, I had only very recently come out as non-binary. And I got a

message from them saying, ‘Hi! I am joining the cast! I’m really excited to have another non-binary person on set. It’s wonderful!’

“And I was like, ‘Wait a second – I’m not alone!’ And since then, having them on set, oh my god, they are just so lovely. I’m very grateful to be able to call Ki my friend and for them to call me theirs.”

Hollyoaks airs on Channel 4 every weekday and is available on demand on All 4 39

BY ERICA GILLINGHAM

BOOKS

CULTURE | BOOKS Book of the Month

MUST-READS BY BLACK LGBTQI AUTHORS

YOUNG ADULT

THIS POISON HEART

Books you might have missed to add your wish list...

Kalynn Bayron

Briseis Greene doesn’t know where her powers with plants come from – why they bend towards her as she walks, spring back to life at her touch, multiply at will – but she knows she must keep it a secret from everyone in Brooklyn, except for her moms who adopted her when she was a baby and love her unconditionally. A visit from an estate lawyer soon changes the fortunes of the whole family: Briseis has inherited a house from a blood relative she didn’t even know existed. In the strange new town, Briseis begins to stretch, but the more she learns about herself, the less she understands about the women of her bloodline. In This Poison Heart, the second novel by Kalynn Bayron, author of Cinderella Is Dead, comes a story of botanical and literal Black Girl Magic with a deliciously poisonous dose of some of the greatest witches from Greek mythology. A page-turner from start to finish.

Bloomsbury, £7.99

ERICA GILLINGHAM is a queer poet, writer and bookseller with a PhD in lesbian love stories and kissing. @ericareadsqueer 40 OCTOBER 2021

An Ordinary Wonder Buki Papillon A coming-of-age story about family and intersex identity.

Dialogue Books, £14.99

Butter Honey Pig Bread Francesca Ekwuyasi An interwoven tale of twin sisters and their Ogbanje mother.

Arsenal Pulp Press, £17.99

Manifesto: On Never Giving Up Bernardine Evaristo Her career in her own words, from the Booker Prize-winner.

Hamish Hamilton, £14.99

Wayward Lives, Beautiful Experiments Saidiya Hartman Reclaiming Black lives through historical documents and fictional details.

Serpent’s Tail, £10.99

Wow, No Thank You Samantha Irby Hilarious essays about being fat, Black, married and over 40.

Faber & Faber, £9.99

FICTION

MEMOIR

HONEY GIRL

DEAR SENTHURAN

Morgan Rogers

Akwaeke Emezi

With her newly completed PhD in astronomy in hand, 28-year-old Grace Porter goes on a girls’ trip to Vegas to celebrate. She’s a straightA, work-through-the-summer, certified high achiever, so she’s not someone who would drunkenly marry a woman whose name she doesn’t even know. Except that she did – and now she’s leaving her responsibilities at home in Portland and setting off for a summer in New York with her wife, Yuki Yamamoto, who she’s only just met. We loved this fun, messy romcom about healing old wounds and finding new connections.

Park Row Books, £13.99

In letters addressed to their friends, to members of their family – both biological and chosen – and to fellow storytellers, Akwaeke Emezi describes the shape of a life lived in overlapping realities. Through heartbreak, chronic pain, intimacy with death, becoming a beast, this is embodiment as a nonhuman: outside the boundaries imposed by expectations and legibility. Dear Senthuran is an account of the gruelling work of realignment and remaking necessary to carve out a future for oneself. The result is a powerful, raw unfolding of identity. Emezi guides the reader through the path they are learning to walk themselves, still with one foot on the other side.

Faber & Faber, £14.99

CULTURE | MUSIC

Skin ALBUM

At just 22, Joy Crookes has quickly risen to become one of the UK’s most cherished musical voices. Her hotly anticipated debut album, Skin, is out on 15 October, exploring sentiments surrounding mental health, relationships and politics.

Poignant and thoughtful, she really hits the nail on the head.

BEAUTIFUL PRESENTS: BEAUTIFUL VOL. 1 Producing eclectic beats for a fresh generation of ravers, London-hailing Sherelle is the face behind new label, Beautiful.

Beautiful Vol. 1 is its debut release, compiling 18 tracks highlighting the most exciting Black and LGBTQI electronic artists of 2021 including Gayance, KG, Nia Archives, Loraine James and more. Aiming to cultivate Black and LGBTQI scenes across Europe, Beautiful is set to be one of the most inclusive labels yet and we are 100% here for it.

EP

PIP MILLETT Motion Sick

MUSIC

JOY CROOKES

BY ELEANOR NOYCE

Pick of the Month

ALBUM

SINGLE

PHOTO ISAAC LAMB

Featuring collaborations with Ghetts and Gaidaa, Pip Millett’s Motion Sick EP layers effortlessly beautiful vocals over classically familiar R&B beats. Exploring themes from relationships to mental health, it’s inundated with smooth sounds apt for the transition from summer into autumn. See Pip live at her upcoming London shows at the Village Underground and Islington Assembly Hall, alongside a night in her home town at Manchester Academy.

MUNA Silk Chiffon (Feat. Phoebe Bridgers)

Both MUNA and Phoebe Bridgers are champions of sad queer bops, so when this collaboration was announced via Instagram, fans went wild – and for good reason. With the chorus repeating “Silk chiffon / That’s how it feels when she’s on me,” there’s no doubt about it: this is an anthem about queer lust. The music video depicts a heartwarming parody of But I’m A Cheerleader, featuring both MUNA and Phoebe Bridgers in wonderfully gay pink attire.

The romance between lead singer Katie and her love interest holds deeper meaning though, platforming the struggles many LGBTQI youth face with conversion therapy. If this song teaches one lesson, it’s that queer love is beautiful rather than criminal.

SINGLE

RINA SAWAYAMA Enter Sandman

Labelled as the “future of queer pop”, bi artist Rina Sawayama is the fresh face of modern music. She returns with a unique cover of Metallica’s Enter Sandman, bringing an alternative twist to this heavy metal classic. Catch her across the UK in November in a combination of small and large-scale venues in Dublin, Manchester, Leeds, Glasgow, Birmingham and London.

ELEANOR NOYCE is DIVA’s editorial assistant and can typically be found drinking iced coffee or glittering herself up for a gig. @eleanornoyce_ 41

REAL TALK | DEAR ALI

Dear Ali...

DO E A YOU HMAVWE CAN PROBELLEP WITH? H rali@ ea Email d o.uk g.c a divam

THIS MONTH, ALI TACKLES LOSS, GUILT AND PREPARING FOR NEW CONNECTIONS

Dear Ali, My partner of 44 years was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 20 years ago. I looked after her for as long as I could.

She has now been in a care home for five years, does not know me, cannot walk, talk, feed or dress herself. It has broken me. I’m 70 and would love to meet someone special, but have looked on the internet and didn’t like it. Just wondered if you do a page on people wanting to meet for friendship and see where it goes.

Thanks, G Dear G, Thank you for reaching out to me.

You have been on such an emotional journey for a very long time and now you are in a place to think: “What’s next for me?” Let’s delve into where you’ve been and where you want to go.

GRIEF, LOSS AND GUILT

ALI HENDRY is a holistic relationship coach helping womxn in the LGBTQIA+ community to move through change. Book your free session at alihendry.co.uk. k Follow Ali on Twitter @ali_hendry and Clubhouse the_ali_h 42 OCTOBER 2021

Some people who are caring for partners with Alzheimer’s describe it as a living bereavement. You have had to grieve on many levels over the years.

Much of this is tied into the long list of changes you’ve experienced. Each change has been associated with a loss.

First, the change associated with a new diagnosis. Then the change in dynamics as you took on a caring role.

Next the move into the care home.

Weaved throughout this has been the gradual change in the way your partner relates to you.

Alzheimer’s can also impact friendships; some friends may have drifted away when you needed them most.

There is so much here and, as you said, “it has broken me”. Do you feel there is any support you would like to access, to help with repair? See my recommendations at the end, too.

Alongside the grief and loss, you may have experienced guilt. Perhaps this is around why it was your partner

pen again if you and not you, feeling Lo w Lo ve give it another go guilty you can no HighLo with a different longer look after her HighLo Hig hLo website or app, or or guilt at wanting HighLo HighLo Hig hLo approach the same to move on. You are HighLo one but with a not alone in these HighLo HighLo HighLo Hig hLo new intention? feelings, and there Hig hLo Hig hLo We can are LGBTQIA+ supHig hLo Hig hLo forget to value port groups where the importance of you can connect friends, family and with others in community who similar situations and move through already provide the love and intimacy these emotions. we have been craving from a partner.

From your email it sounds like This exercise explores our networks: you have done a lot of work al1. Draw a large circle, then a smaller ready and reached a new level of one inside, and a smaller one in acceptance for your journey. That the middle. It should look like a sounds brilliant. dartboard (above).

RELATIONSHIP VALUES 2. The smallest circle in the centre Use this time to work out what is for people who are deep in your you want from your next romantic love/intimacy. Write their names. relationship. Gaining clarity means 3. The next circle out is for those in you are more likely to be in the the mid-section of love/intimacy. right mindset to consciously attract 4. The outer circle is for those on what you want. Who is this person? the edges of love/intimacy.

What do they mean to you? Describe 5. What do you feel when you look their qualities. at this diagram?

Write a list of your relationship 6. Are there any people you want in wants, needs and non-negotiables. a different section?

Are there any themes or surprises 7. Draw arrows to indicate where from this list? Describe what it reveals you would like them to be. about what you are looking for.

8. Choose one person that you have “moved”. What first step could WELCOMING IN YOUR you take to move them into that NEW PARTNER new area?

When you think of meeting “someone (It may be that you draw two pictures, special”, what are they like? Have one for love and one for intimacy.) fun writing a profile of this person: Perhaps there are people in too their interests, qualities, personality, deep and you want to move them furcharacteristics, star sign, pets. Include ther out, to make space for the person any areas you want! you do want in that intimate, loving Before you start writing, get position. Or maybe there are people yourself into a relaxed state, make further out, and you can work on how your favourite drink, sit in a favourite to grow the connection. location, listen to your favourite song.

Visit my YouTube channel for a Being clear on who you want tunes practical example of this exercise: tinyurl.com/DearAli. you in to noticing people who have these qualities.

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX You mentioned you looked on Unless you have a “friend with benthe internet and didn’t like it. Can efits”, one area that generally only you identify exactly what you didn’t features in romantic relationships is like? Are these things likely to hap-

sex. It is a fallacy that older people are less likely to want sex. For all of us, sex changes over the years, and what worked before may not work now. So if sex is something you want from your special person, explore its place in the relationship. When you wrote your new partner profile earlier, how did sex show up?

IT STARTS WITH YOU I wonder how committed you are to taking care of yourself right now.

Self-care and self-compassion take practice, but the effort is worth it. The end point is feeling happy, healthy and ready to embrace a new life.

Which of these practices below do you want to commit to starting in the next week?

1. Reading: join the library or do a shout-out on social media to book-share with friends.

2. Community: join the DIVA Community on the Clubhouse app for a range of daily discussions.

3. Massage: treat yourself to new oil or cream and give yourself a hand massage.

4. Meditation: search on YouTube for examples.

5. Exercise: Alzheimer’s Society holds national Memory Walks or look for a local yoga class.

6. Hobby: what hobby or interest haven’t you done for a while that you want to restart?

When you bring in a new self-care practice, a great way of making it stick is to attach it to an already established habit. For example, do you make yourself a coffee and sit for 10 minutes every morning scrolling though social media? The night before, place a book by the kettle.

Then the next morning make that coffee and spend 10 minutes reading the book instead. Bringing in these small changes will help you move towards what you want.

You are ready for change; it is time to invite change in.

ALI RECOMMENDS FACEBOOK DIVA Community Group With over 12,500 members, it is a great place to connect with like-minded people of all ages.

NEWSLETTER Kenric UK-based, non-profit lesbian social group (kenriclesbians.org.uk) attracting members who are mostly aged 40 and over. Although based in London, its monthly newsletter includes a Contact Ads section where people can make new friends by corresponding via email.

ZOOM Rainbow Carer’s Group An LGBTQIA+ online carer’s group for people over 50, run by Opening Doors London.

WEBSITE Alzheimer’s Society The charity has a section for LGBT+ people called Bring Dementia Out. It also provides a supportive space for all carers via its Talking Point community and there is a range of informative guides on the website (alzheimers.org.uk).

MEETUP Meetup.com Join to discover an array of online groups for in-person and virtual events, aiming to bring together people with similar interests.

APP Down Dog is an app geared to all levels of yoga, including chair yoga. It is a great opportunity to bring yourself into your own mind, body and spirit to move through changes in your life.

YOUTUBE Humour is a great healer. It can also make us feel part of something bigger than ourselves. Watch Clare Summerskill’s comedy song about being an older lesbian getting back into dating: It Won’t Be Easy (tinyurl.com/DIVAItWontBeEasy).

More info on Contents page 3

Ali Hendry is a holistic relationship coach working with womxn in the LGBTQIA+ community. Visit alihendry.co.uk for more information and to book a free introductory session. Check out Ali’s YouTube channel tinyurl.com/DearAli or TikTok @alihendrycoaching to find demos of all the exercises in her Dear Ali articles.

43

SEX 48

My secret sex diary Mac on dominance and surrendering to pleasure

49

Sexy Bits The hottest toys, tips and temptations this month

44 OCTOBER 2021

The Sex Lives Of African Women NANA DARKOA SEKYIAMAH ON HER NEW BOOK OPENING UP DIALOGUES AND EXPLORING SEXUAL DESIRE BEYOND STEREOTYPE

INTERVIEW ROXY BOURDILLON

PHOTOS NYANI QUARMYNE

SEX | THE SEX LIVES OF AFRICAN WOMEN “I’ve never felt so seen.” Since the release of Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah’s book, The Sex Lives Of African Women, she has heard this declaration repeatedly, from African women, queer women, women for whom this was the first time they had ever read such deeply personal and profoundly powerful accounts. In this groundbreaking collection, the feminist activist, writer and blogger brings together the individual experiences of over 30 women from across the African continent and its global diaspora. The true stories nestled between the beautiful, bright orange covers span self-discovery, pleasure, trauma and liberation. The other thing readers tell Nana? “I’m passing this book on to my daughter.”

From her home in Ghana she explains, “The representation of African women, especially in Western media, is extremely myopic. Usually we are depicted in very limited ways, as women who are victims of FGM or women who are constantly pregnant or suffering from HIV and Aids. I knew that our stories were a lot more complex, a lot more nuanced, a lot more interesting.”

She originally began writing about sex after a life-changing beach holiday with a group of African women friends. “We spent a lot of time sitting around drinking cocktails, and inevitably, the conversation would turn to sex. People were being open, honest and vulnerable in a way that I hadn’t really experienced. It felt so freeing. I had a eureka moment and I was like, ‘Oh my god! I am going to blog about sex!’” And so in 2009, she and fellow writer Malaka Grant cofounded the award-winning website Adventures From The Bedrooms Of African Women.

By amplifying the narratives of African women and writing candidly about their desires, Nana is part of a growing revolution. But what’s it like for Nana, who is openly bi, writing about such a taboo subject while living in Ghana, where gay sex between men is illegal and there are multiple reports of hate crimes and conversion therapy? “Because I’m a middle class woman, femme, straight-passing, that comes with a lot of privilege. What’s particularly difficult in this moment now is the amount of parliamentarians in Ghana who are seeking to pass a homophobic bill, which bans >>>

The Sex Lives Of African Women In this extract from The Sex Lives Of African Women, 71-year-old AfroCaribbean queer feminist Alexis opens up about finding love and lust in her 60s

touch orning. I’ll usually m e th in up e ak w ething very very alive when I me. There is som to xt Sometimes I feel ne ly ud lo g partner is snorin important. myself whilst my lf-pleasure is very se k in e call th I . at th g in indulge in what w to e lik I exciting about do d an r azing, ic life. My partne tilt at it, it was am ll fu g I have a good erot in go d an k ry in our night we were drun to have debauche ay ok “debauchery”. One as w it at ” an agreement th lves as “hedonistic se em th y tif en and so we made id vited to we le are not often in thologised, and so pa n te of e lives. Black peop ar es aliti e nights bodies. Our sexu to pathology. Som d te la re or deeply in our is do e w ) we make ent that nothing al in the morning xu se came to the agreem ry ve el fe t d y partner doesn’ s to having sex an ad le at th d an , or afternoons (m od and fo ll dirty by having drinks in what people ca ge ga en I ourselves feel good x. se ng s her on very explicit duri and I think it turn on e m s making love. I’m rn tu It g. talkin . We also cause I get results be is th ow kn I x too. have a box of se d an s nd ha r ou make use of ction. toys to our colle w ne d ad n te of toys, we her. Just s pleasing each ot rn tu ke ta e w , ly Usual to me that we rtner was saying pa y m t, gh ni J st la VKH ZDV VXJJHVWLQ H XU V WW\ UH S ¶P , [XDOO\ before, KLQJ QHZ WR GR VH talked about this ve e’ W .

QHHG WR ¿QG VRPHW up r he ot t with tying each that we experimen time, so we ted by the idea. many lovers over d and are both exci ha ve ha d an s ing r seventie e past. We’re will th in ow We are both in ou kn lly fu dn’t s I’d in ways that we di about, and say ye lk ta n ca e w know our bodies d an st us to me that al acts that intere ner made it clear rt pa y to engage in sexu m e, pl am her knees t not that. For ex at will have her on th ng like to try this bu hi yt an do to fort me to ask her cause her discom ill w at th d an she doesn’t want s, knee cause she has bad for a long time be have sex t her pleasure. to have, so if we e lik e which will interrup w x se of have the kind great too. It’s two weeks that’s It takes energy to y er ev x se ve ha share ’s great. If we the loving we can of ity al qu once a week that e th t ou for us. It’s really ab not about quantity is also part RPHQ e bedroom, but it th DV VHOI LGHQWL¿HG Z in y ac tim in her, s to do with , feeding each ot er th ge to My erotic life ha g in liv with m is which has to do tside of the bedroo ou do e w of a larger reality t ha W r. talking lking to each othe turned on just by be n ca e listening to and ta w en ft O . bodily experience also a part of our to each other.

“My partner and I like to indulge in what we call ‘debauchery’”

45

SEX | THE SEX LIVES OF AFRICAN WOMEN

The women who were living their best sex lives were queer or trans or poly” everything right down to being an ally or even advocating for queer rights. Also, that awareness that it’s not safe, even for me as a privileged queer woman, to be honest about who I am in this country, but it’s a choice I have made because I feel like I can manage the risk.”

While there are many celebratory passages in this volume, it also tackles serious issues including child sexual abuse. “It shocked me,

>>>

46 OCTOBER 2021

the extent to which it was coming up. Sometimes casually. For me, this comes from the fact that there’s this culture of silence around sex. We do not speak to children about their bodies, right? This lack of open and honest communication makes them think of anything that’s to do with their bodies as wrong. That enables child sexual abuse to thrive.”

Even after over a decade spent exploring about this topic, Nana

was still surprised in some of the interviews. “I had assumed that if you had experienced FGM or been cut you couldn’t have pleasurable sex. There’s a woman called Waris and she had been cut as a child. She was telling me about an orgasmic experience and I was like, ‘But how is that possible?’

Even though I know better technically, in my mind I just think of the tip of the clitoris and we forget what an amazing organ the clitoris is.”

One of the most joyful parts of this book is how inclusive it is and Nana was keen to convey “the breadth of all women’s experiences”. In one chapter, Helen Banda from Zambia, who identifies as pansexual and kinky, shares how she discovered the delights of swinging and embraced polyamory. “It was nice to know that even a woman with three children, who was married, found a way to open up her relationship and have a more fulfilling life. It’s never too late.”

In another chapter, 52-year-old Black lesbian and professional dominatrix Miss Deviant discusses sex work and BDSM. “I interviewed her in her flat in London. She was like, ‘You know those stairs you walked up? My sub was cleaning that before you came.’”

And then there’s Alexis, a 71-yearold Black queer feminist from Harlem, New York with an adventurous erotic life. “She’s who I want to be when I’m 70. In popular culture, the older woman is desexualised, somebody who should be happy knitting and looking after her grandchildren.

There’s nothing wrong with knitting and looking after your grandchildren, but it’s also nice if you have an active sex life and you have nights when you’re like, ‘This night is dedicated to decadence, eating good food, drinking good alcohol and, oh, we’ve been thinking of maybe trying rope?’”

Did Nana notice any recurring themes among the LGBTQI women she spoke to? She laughs. “Apart from the fact that they were the ones having great sex? The women who were living their best sex lives were queer or trans or poly. The people who are the most free live on the margins of society, so don’t feel like you need to conform.”

The Sex Lives Of African Women by Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah is out now (Dialogue Books, hardback, £18.99)

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SEX | MY SECRET SEX DIARY

MAC GETS CANDID ABOUT RELATIONSHIP ROLES AND SURRENDERING TO PLEASURE

AS TOLD TO ROXY BOURDILLON

Want to share your secret sex diary?

Email roxy@divamag.co.uk

48 OCTOBER 2021

For a long time I thought that because my style is androgynous, I always had to be the dominant one in bed.

The first night I slept with another woman, that’s how I was. We met at a club and went back to hers. She was so hot. She made me really nervous, but I tried to hide it. It was all about her pleasure and she loved it. To be fair, so did I. I liked watching her while I did things to her. Seeing how turned on I made her turned me on.

I never ended up seeing her again, but I had a few different girlfriends and each time I played that same role. I got better at it. I became more confident in my abilities. I saw sex as this really exciting challenge. How many orgasms could I give her? How wet could I make her? How loud could I get her to scream? A couple of my partners wanted to touch me that way too, but I didn’t feel comfortable with that. I liked being the one in control.

Then I met Frankie. I fancied her right from the start. She could hold her own and keep me on my toes. For the first few months it was the usual story. I was the top and the passion was undeniable. After a while, she began asking to do things to me too. I told her I’d never done that before, but she reassured me that I was safe with her. She said we could try it, take it slowly and if I didn’t like it, I could just tell her to stop. I didn’t tell her to stop.

At first I felt self-conscious, but then the pleasure overtook that. Afterwards, I liked that we had this special bond. We had done something I’d never done with anyone else. We’re still together now and nine times out of 10 I’m the dominant one, but once in a while when the mood is right, I let her do things to me and I enjoy it.

I’ve learned that I don’t have to stick to one way of being in bed. Just because I present myself in a certain way, that doesn’t dictate everything about who I am, especially when it comes to my most intimate relationship.

“I told her I’d never done that before”

NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT PRIVACY

My secret sex diary

SEX | SEXY BITS

SEXY BITS

TOY

THE YOUNG M.A PLAY NYCE STRAP-ON STARTER SET After directing an all-female porn film in 2018 (The Gift, it’s on Pornhub, look it up), rapper Young M.A is now selling her very own strap-on starter kit. This is a full-service set including everything from an adjustable harness and three different sized dildos to toy cleaner and water-based lube. There’s even a vibrating plug attachment if you want to really get the party started. As Young M.A says in She Like I’m Like: “Going back and forth like ping-pong, give her this ding-dong.” When asked about this venture, Young M.A commented, “I’m aware I have a heavy influence on women and spark their curiosity around sexuality. I never hide the fact that I keep one in the closet; so I decided to share some of my experience, personal favourites, and I partnered with Doc Johnson to bring you my sex toy line.” £136.50 from shopyoungma.com

STATS

67% According to new research,

of gay and lesbian folks have faked an orgasm.

The most popular reason?

To get sex over with quicker.

The study also showed that bi and pan people are generally more open to talking about sexual satisfaction.

Find out more at lovehoney.com/ sound-of-satisfaction/

Contents page 3

TIPS In the As/Is YouTube video, 19 Questions Newly Out Lesbians Have For Experienced Lesbians, queer folks share their best advice for baby gays.

“Communication, consistently. Having the courage to say, ‘Hey, I don’t like that’ or ‘Hey, can we change this?’”

Jazzmyne “Watch her body. Her body will tell you what she likes, what she don’t like. Speak her body when you’re down there, ok?”

Andee

“Lesbian sex is nothing like what you see in porn.”

Shereen “Even if you really like the person, it can take a while to learn somebody, learn somebody’s body and them learn you and feel comfortable.”

Mari

49

EXPLORE

GOT AN IDEA FOR A TRAVEL HACK? SEND YOUR TIPS TO TRAVEL@DIVAMAG.CO.UK OR TWEET US @DIVAMAGAZINE

Travelling in the UK during Black History Month? Lucky you. Throughout October there are a whole host of musical, cultural and community events scheduled, from Aberystwyth to Aberdeen, aimed at celebrating and honouring the achievements and talents of Black Britons and those of African and Caribbean descent...

JOANNA WHITEHEAD is a Yorkshire lass based in London. @MsWhitehead100 50 OCTOBER 2021

From comedy and music (Arrested Development!

The Selecter!), to Windrush stories, Ghanaian crafts and hair-braiding workshops, and an evening with Jackie Kay (pictured, left) and Bernardine Evaristo, there’s guaranteed to be something to pique your interest this Black History Month.

Stuck at home? Fear not – there’s plenty of online activities to inspire and inform, including genealogy workshops, and Cephas Williams’ remarkable Portrait Of Black Britain photography exhibition (mif.co.uk/whats-on/portraitof-black-britain). Find out more at: blackhistorymonth.org.uk.

Read this: Originally from rural South Africa, Khanyisa Mnyaka is a Black lesbian with over 10 years of travelling under her belt, plus experience working in the travel industry. It’s fair to say she has a good understanding of the specific challenges facing queer people of colour when exploring new places. Traveling While Black And Lesbian is part memoir and part travel guide focusing on her adventures throughout Asia, Central America and the United States. Find her on YouTube (youtube. com/user/makhanyiful), Instagram and TikTok (both @lifecoachkhanyi) doling out travel insights and life advice (she’s also a life coach, natch).

Do this: The UK has museums devoted to pencils, fans and dog collars – yet there is still no dedicated museum devoted to Black history.

Sandra Shakespeare has launched the Black British Museum Project (blackbritishmuseum.com), an online platform curating Black British history, with the aim of creating a physical space for this important collection.

Elsewhere, Liverpool’s International Slavery Museum (liverpoolmuseums. org.uk/international-slavery-museum) focuses on the legacy of the transatlantic slave trade, while Museumand (The National Caribbean Heritage Museum – museumand.org) and the Black Cultural Archives (blackculturalarchives. org) are home to a series of online and IRL events celebrating and preserving Black culture.

It’s time for the dawn of a new DIVA. podDIVA. Queers for your ears.

Every week. Wherever you are in the world.

Our new weekly podcast podDIVA drops on Wednesday 3 November