Inside this issue: A Helping Hand Into Home
2
New West Rolleston School
2
Father’s Day Feature
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Phone: 318 7450 Fax: 318 7451 Email: rollestonnews@xtra.co.nz Web: www.malvernnews.co.nz
ISSUE 112 Wednesday 27th August 2014
Amp Scholarships Now 3 Open Rolleston Combined Probus Report
4
Rugby Finals at Rolleston 4 Aquatic Bugpolo
5
High ICAS
5
Ginny Nelson Mortgage 6 & Insurance Advice Public Notices
6
Classifieds
6-7
Trades
7-8
Email Column
8
Helen Horton, Fiona Hoyland, Jess Wright & Ben Wright delivering donations to the Christchurch City Mission from the Rolleston Venturer Scouts.
The information and opinions published are not necessarily those of the Rolleston News proprietors. Rolleston News is distributed to almost 3000 homes and businesses in the Rolleston area.
Monthly Newspaper Business Cards ♦ Photocopying ♦ Laminating ♦ Binding ♦ Typesetting
The Rolleston Kea Scouts, as part of Keep NZ Clean Week, have been working on their ‘helping others’ badge. A small group of Kea Scouts have been cleaning up the Rolleston Reserve and picking up rubbish. Over two nights they collected four large black rubbish bags and were understandably very proud of their efforts. The Rolleston Venturer Scouts have also been working on ‘helping others’ as part of the journey towards their Queen’s Scout Awards. At Bronze level Venturers need to ‘help others’ for ten hours over ten weeks and at Silver level this increases to fifteen hours over fifteen weeks. After looking at a few options the Venturers decided to organise a food collection from
within the group and then deliver these donations weekly to the Christchurch City Mission. The Venturers were well organised and went along to Keas, Cubs and Scouts to speak to the children about what the City Mission does, and how they could help collect donations. They suggested a skin g their classmates at school, their sports team, their neighbours and their extended families. The group has collected 54 brown bags of groceries to date, and the City Mission has been delighted to receive t h e se mu ch n ee d e d donations. Scout leaders and parents are extremely proud of the effort the Venturers have put in, as well as being grateful for the support shown them.
♦ ♦
If it’s newsworthy and you know about it - we’d like to know too !
Next edition will be distributed Wednesday 24th September Deadline: 5pm Thursday 18th September
Rolleston Kea Scouts undertook a huge clean-up in the Rolleston Domain. Back L to R: Nicholas Anson, Tom Joyce, Matthew Fox, Sam Guthrie, Nathan Clark & Jacob Dando Front L to R: James Smith, Alex Reid, Donovan Hamlin, Ryan Ward, Faye Sharratt & Sophia Ward - with some of the huge amount of rubbish collected.
Massage Qualified Therapist Phone Janene 03 347 7674 021 169 9229
• • • • • • • •
relaxation deep tissue sports hot stone pregnancy workplace events gift vouchers
Make Beautiful Wedding Memories Idyllic Gardens - Enchanting Chapel - Rural Treasure
Torlesse Road, West Melton Phone Rochelle (03) 347 4470 or 027 615 5073 rochelle@westhavengardens.co.nz www.westhavengardens.co.nz
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Wednesday 27th August 2014
“Call me now to find out what your home is worth on today's market” Phone 027 662 2751 or 03 347 9949
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Clark Land Surveyors Ltd REGISTERED SURVEYORS – LAND USE PLANNERS DEVELOPMENT CONSULTANTS
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After almost four years of waiting, the Brand family from Prebbleton are pleased to have moved into a new home after living in a shed because their home suffered earthquake damage. Supporting them along the way has been J enny Harkerss, Harkerss Selwyn Distri ct Council’s Community Recovery Support Officer. Jenny has been helping Melissa and Ken Brand, Brand as well as many other families, with their earthquake related problems since the September 2010 quakes. “Jenny has been with us right from the word go almost, so it was great to have her here with us on our move in day,” said Melissa. “She really does go the extra mile and it’s nice to have someone make the whole experience of dealing with
Move in day: (left to right) Melissa and Ken Brand, holding their new set of house keys, with Selwyn District Council’s Community Recovery Support Officer Jenny Harkerss. insurance and builders a little easier.” Jenny reported there are a number of people in the same position here in Selwyn. Since the earthquakes, Jenny has been in contact with more than 400 families. Jenny has been helping people to resolve their earthquake claims over the past four years so she has a good understanding of the processes and systems organisations use such as EQC and insurance
companies and is able to provide advice on how people can progress their claims. The Selwyn Earthquake Relief Fund was recently transferred into the Mayoral Relief Fund and is still available to help people who were living in Selwyn during the earthquakes and are experiencing hardship as a result of them. Jenny can be contacted at jenny.harkerss@selwyn.govt.nz.
The proposed West Rolleston Primary School Establishment Board of Trustees for the school have been extremely busy over the past couple of months. They report: • Building planning has progressed to the point where we have a Masterplan signed off by the Ministry of Education. This is a very high-level schematic of building placement, generic location on the site is understood and we have factored in the prevailing weather conditions and overall sizing for the school buildings. The next stage of the planning is stepping through several more phases of design working through the alignment to the vision the Board has created for the school. An initial meeting has been held with the Selwyn District Council to brief them on the building project and school plans - indicating a willingness for all parties to work together for the community at this very early stage. • Recruitment has commenced for the foundation Principal. The Board is looking for a particular set of characteristics in this role - very much aligned to the focal vision for the Board of Sustainability, Environmental awareness, education focussed and understanding the importance of whanau. This role is a unique opportunity for a Principal that isn’t often available in NZ - so the Board is very confident of a high calibre of applicants, and has structured the recruitment process around some very different criteria - looking for someone with superhuman traits as a bonus! • Initial discussions have commenced with other schools in Rolleston on zoning. As more information is available there will be a period of information and briefing to the community. Focus is on understanding the potential roll numbers for all schools - which is a challenge considering the huge growth we have seen in the area in recent months, and the population projections that are being used. • Please feel free to contact the Board for any further information via the website www.westrolleston.school.nz or facebook www.facebook.com/westrolleston
Face painting, party entertainme nt & cupcakes
Casey Phillips • Children’s Face Painter & Ente rtainer • Qualified ECE Teacher • Based in Rolleston E: phillips_case y@hotmail.com Call/Te xt: 0276 308 128 Visit: www.facebook.com/casesfacesparties
NICK & YOLANDE HOWELL - NEW VETS IN ROLLESTON
Read the Rolleston News online!
Hours: Monday to Friday 8am - 6pm, Saturday 9am - 1pm
www.malvernnews.co.nz
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Wednesday 27th August 2014
ROLLESTON COMBINED PROBUS CLUB The July trip of the Rolleston Combined Probus Club was to Ian and Bev Fisher’s movie theatre in Hoon Hay, where those present enjoyed a wonderful selection of old movies. There was something for everyone, cartoons, motor cycle tour of England and also one about Erewhon, where the group will go in November. Bev supplied the Probus Club with a wonderful afternoon tea to complete the visit. There was, unfortunately, a slightly lower than usual turnout, due to many members being struck down by winter flu. Th e Au gus t m eeting ’s speaker/entertainer was Colin Patterson. Patterson Many had seen or heard him before, but the inclusion of new material in his repertoire ensured everyone enjoyed themselves. The most recent visit by the group was to Kilmarnock Enterprises, in Riccarton, where members learned just what is achieved there. The Rolleston Probus Club’s September trip is to Burnham Military Camp where they will spend the day and enjoy lunch at the canteen. October sees a planned trip to Oxford while in November the group will head to Erewhon. Numbers for this popular November trip are likely to be high and names are currently being taken for the event.
Sunday 7th September 2014
Join us for Father ’s Day lunch or afternoon tea! Great hot meals accompanied by a FREE glass of wine for Dad or try a fresh spring platter in the sun!
• Tin Signs $20 Open 10am - 3pm or later phone Julie • Scarves from $10 • NZ Woollen, Fleece-lined 029 288 3442 Jackets $129 $119 Fathers Day Shopping Mon 1st Sept - Sun 7th Sept (Sorry closed Fri 29th - Sun 31s t)
87 West Coast Rd, Sheffield
• Merino Wool Boot Socks • Possum Socks/Gloves $20 pair • Foldable Leather Rain Hats
Phone for a booking or just call in Fri, Sat, Sun 11am - 5pm 796 Highfield Road, Aylesbury - Phone 03 318 1826
Right here in Rolleston - we’re your local!
Great Gifts For Dad! • • • •
Treat Dad to award-winning food and beautiful boutique wine at Melton Estate.
Man Cave Plaques Wall Art Unique Giftware Vouchers & Gift Wrapping SHOP 15 - ROLLESTON SQUARE PHONE: 03 347 1068
For more Probus info contact: Neil Bennett: Publicity - 347 3173 or Val Roxburgh: Secretary - 347 7397
e of our Treat Dad to on seasonal sumptuous new our everyday dishes or enjoy 18.50 senior citizens $ receive ’ll e h 2 course meal & Emerson’s a complimentary eer! Premium Craft B
“Anyone can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a Dad”
Happy Fathers Day!
Plus he will go into the draw for a “Meal for Two” to the value of $75!!
TAB Gaming Widescreen TVs Accommodation Liquor Centre Café Courtesy Bus
Come and check out our changes, BOOK NOW!
Phone (03) 318 8325 stay@darfieldhotel.co.nz • www.darfieldhotel.co.nz
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Phone - 03 322 7770
Wednesday 27th August 2014
Selwyn District Council is offering a sub sidi sed ‘Li ve t o Ride’ m otorcycle s kills c oachin g programme which aims to help reduce the number of motorcycle crashes in the district. See advertisement in this issue for details of the next courses. In New Zealand, the risk of being involved in a fatal or injury crash is twenty tim es higher for a motorcyclist than for a car driver. From 2009 - 2013, there were 57 recorded motorcycle crashes in Selwyn District resulting in three fatalities, 34 serious injuries, 31 minor injuries. There were also eight non-injury crashes. Selwyn District Road Safety Coordinator, Ngaire Tinning commented that the number of motorcycle crashes is concerning and the Council started offering the ‘Live to Ride’ training late last year to try to reduce the number and severity of crashes in Selwyn. Live to Ride provides subsidised motorcycle skills coaching where people can refresh their skills, and learn and practice new techniques. The courses are delivered by New Zealand Transport Agency qualified trainers and include training to develop braking, handling and
safe driving skills. Since the Live to Ride programme started thirty motorcyclists have taken part in the coaching sessions. Course evaluations by participants show the training is highly rated and has helped them improve their skills in a range of areas like turning on corners, coping with bad weather and hazards, braking and steering. Ngaire added that the course of f ers m otorcyclists the opportunity to learn how to assess
risks and avoid problems that may cause crashes while driving. “The course provides a hands-on experience where people can learn in a team environment. The full day course also includes a three hour road excursion for practical training.” These courses are highly subsidised. The upcoming courses involve a full day of training at only $50 per rider.
To register or find out more, visit www.live2ride.co.nz.
The Ellesmere Rugby Junior Finals Day was recently held at Rolleston Rugby Club. Numerous teams aging from the U10 division to U7 ripper rugby, took to the field. Pictured above are Darfield U10 v Rolleston Red.
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Wednesday 27th August 2014
One of New Zealand’s newest sports is coming soon to the Selwyn Aquatic Centre with a ‘bugpolo’ evening on Friday, August 29th (6.45pm start) for residents. ‘Bugpolo’ is a cross between netball and water polo. Competitors use individual inflatable rafts (bugs) and flippers to move themselves around the pool, aiming to get the ball into the opposition’s inflatable goal. The ball can be thrown between team members as in a netball game. Bugpolo was invented in New Zealand and a Christchurch Bug Sports Club has been formed with Club members helping to run the event at the Aquatic Centre. Selwyn Aquatic Centre Manager Kathy Moore commented that the pool is excited about hosting the bugpolo evening. “The sport is a lot of fun and it should be easy for people to
Near New Second Hand Tyres Now Open at 6a Hands Road, Middleton Commercial and 4wd Tyres 12 - 19 Inch Car Tyres
Phone: 027 226 3805 or email: tyres@jcmdirect.co.nz
Assistant Coach Ben Close from the Selwyn Aquatic Centre tries out an inflatable bug raft. learn as it has similar rules to netball, but as it’s in water there’s lots of splashing about. We hope that people will come along and try something new.” The games, in the 25 metre lap pool. are open to adults and child ren aged fi ve and over. Competitors will be given lifejackets, bug rafts and flippers
Jackson Bunting of West Melton Primary School recently achieved a creditable 'High Distinction' for Science in the ICAS competitions. The ICAS (International Competitions & Assessments for Schools) exams are for Year 4 to 8 students and are held on the same day throughout New Zealand. Receiving ‘High Distinction’ places Jackson in the top 1% of participants in New Zealand.
WANTED Farmlands Dairy Livestock are wanting to purchase from the Selwyn or surrounding area DAIRY HERDS for the coming 2015/2016 season. Please contact Farmlands Dairy Livestock Grant McIlroy 027 345 9262 grant.mcilroy@farmlands.co.nz
to use. Aquatic centre staff will also be taking names of people interested in participating in a bugpolo league if one was set up in Rolleston. An inflatable bug raft is currently on display at the Selwyn Aquatic Centre.
Contact the Selwyn Aquatic Centre for further information.
Design – Installation – Servicing Toro Irrigation Systems Lawns - Gardens Lifestyle Blocks - K-Line Irrigation Sports Grounds - Horticulture Trenching Free Quotes
Freeman Irrigation Ltd Phil & Kristie Hudson Free Phone: 0800 22 33 92 Website: www.freemanirrigation.co.nz Email: info@freemanirrigation.co.nz
MACHINERY HIRE SPECIALISTS
• Kubota tractor with
mower/hoe • 1.5T Excavator
Hours: Collection 8:00am - 9:00am Drop Off 4:30pm - 5:30pm
Hire Bookings Essential West Melton Phone Stu 03 347 8516 Mon - Fri or 027 223 4730
Page 6 PUBLIC NOTICES
Wednesday 27th August 2014 PUBLIC NOTICES
PUBLIC NOTICES
PROACTIVE M ARTIAL ARTS TEMPLETON OFFERS TWO FREE LESSONS We are a freestyle Martial Art, teaching in a fun & relaxed atmosphere Come along and have a look. Gain confidence, co-ordination, fitness and self-defence. We cater for all age groups and fitness levels. Templeton Community Centre • Mondays & Fridays TIGERS: 3-7yrs 3.30-4.05pm PANTHERS: 7-12yrs 4.10-4.55pm XTREME: 12+yrs 5.00-5.50pm FREESTYLE: Adults 5.55-6.55pm For any enquiries ph Jacque or Allister 03 349 4946. www.selfdefence.co.nz
Is on in Rakaia on Sunday 19 October and hundreds of people will be rolling around in the mud and having heaps of FUN, FUN, FUN!!! The school that has the highest percentage of their school roll competing, will win $1,000 of sport equipment, it is that easy. The event stands alone by itself but we've created a kidz race for children to be active, and at the same time give something back to the schools. If you want to be involved you can enter at www.muddygoodrun.co.nz or contact us at cjmoore@xtra.co.nz Entry is $15 per competitor, the children will experience 5 mud pits, 2 slides, firemen with water guns, cars to go over and under, hay bales, camo nets all in an 1800 metre run/walk of fun. PLUS Hoyts Riccarton vouchers in their Race Pack. Check out video coverage of last year's event with over 200 kids taking part and hundreds of adults. Picnic environment and Cassie Henderson singing before prize giving.
PUBLIC NOTICES
Residential property value increases slowdown - QV.co.nz Christchurch Property Values: Residential property values in Christchurch city have increased 2.1% over the past three months, 6.5% year on year. Christchurch – Hills has seen an increase in home values of 4.4% over the past three months while Southwest Christchurch has increased 3.0%, Christchurch East is up 1.6% and Christchurch Central and North is up 1.3%. QV Valuer Daryl Taggart said, “Over the past few months it has only been in the new build housing market where things appear to be at full steam ahead.” “The rest of the residential property market is showing a normal level of activity and movement but we are far from where we were twelve to eighteen months ago in so far as demand from buyers.” “There is no longer such a large shortage of supply as more homes have been repaired and more new homes have been completed and are coming to market.” “The Christchurch Hills area is showing a marked increase over the past three months, however this is not indicative of the market there which is actually more in line with other city areas.” Perhaps now is the time to look more closely at your options around purchasing your home or investment property. Talk to me today. Ginny Nelson Providing you with quality advice for Mortgages Refinancing & Re-fixing Loans, Mortgage Protection, Life/Trauma, Income Protection & Health Insurance Phone: 03 3477 205 Mobile: 0275 391 006 ginny@central-insurance.co.nz Disclosure Document Available on Request
ADMINISTRATION
CELEBRANT
Need more time to focus on running your business?
W E D D I N GS , Ci vi l Un i on Ceremonies, Renewal of Vows, Naming Ceremonies, Funerals & Unveilings. Jenni Gibson phone/fax: 324 8332 M o b i l e: 021 723 089
Thomas Bookkeeping can assist. Phone Jody on 027 240 6974 or email thomasbookkeeping@xtra.co.nz
A certified member of the NZBAI.
AUTOMOTIVE
• WOF while you wait • Full mechanical repairs and servicing on all makes and models of vehicles • 5 mechanics on site. Putting the service into automotive servicing.
Jones Road Auto 851 Jones Rd, Rolleston Phone 347 4020
PUBLIC NOTICES
jenni@celebrantservices.net.nz
www.celebrantservices.net.nz EQUESTRIAN H O RS E Rid i ng L es so ns 1hr private and semi-private lessons available for all ages and experience with safe and reliable horses and qualified instructor. Pony rides are also available. Phone 027 958 9242. FENCING SUMMERFIELD Fencing - in your area now. Lifestyle. Farm. Sheep. Cattle. Horse. All types of animals. Fences. Yards. sheds. Arenas. Shelters. Runs. 27 yeas contract fencing. John is available to help with design and planning. Phone Carol and John Summerfield 03 312 4747. PUBLIC NOTICES
Join the newest & hottest boot camp! A full on workout featuring cardio, weight, resistance, interval, circuit and plyometric based training.
Tuesdays & Fridays from 66-7am, Rolleston Community Centre. Only $7 per session, pay as you go.
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Wednesday 27th August 2014 DRIVEWAYS
SITUATIONS VACANT
SITUATIONS VACANT
SITUATIONS VACANT
WINDOW REPAIRS
STORAGE
TRADES
KENNEDYS
H AN D YMAN - Mik e th e H and ym an s er vi n g all handyman, lawnmowing and general work, Selwyn area. Phone 0800 287 828 or 03 347 7437.
LIFESTYLE, LIFESTYLE farm tracks, yards and dairy lanes our speciality. Screened rotten-rock, it’s local and lasts better. Springfield Quarry phone 318 4132. FIREWOOD AC & EA WAKELIN Firewood Suppliers. Mature Pine: 3mtrs - $175. 6mtrs - $340 9mtrs $510. 12mtrs - $675 15mtrs - $840. Hardwoods available. Old man pine also available. WINZ quotes welcomed. Certified truck for measurement. Please phone 03 312 4637 or 021 260 4520. RK Firewood is back. Are you ready for winter? Available now - Old Man Pine, Bluegum & Oregon. All top quality, dry, clean wood. Eftpos available. Please phone Rini Contracting 027 451 7300.
The role is at the South Island Distribution Centre in Rolleston for The Warehouse. Temp workers required from now until Christmas. Monday to Friday The shifts are either: 7.30am - 4pm or 3pm - 11.30pm. If you have reliable transport and are available now, please give James Parr at Kelly a call on 03 347 1180 or email your CV to james_parr@kellyservices.com
FOR SALE
kennedysstorage@xtra.co.nz WANTED TO RENT URGENTLY wanted, 3 - 4 bedroom house. Professional family 2 adults and 2 children. Need by 19 September. Will pay up to $500 pw. Phone 022 454 9298.
PEA STRAW CAN DELIVER
$40 PH 027 439 9116
FREE HORSE MANURE
A huge part of this role is supporting people to achieve their goals and live an ordinary life – if you want to make a difference, this is the position for you!
Refresh your garden over winter with natural horse manure to get ready for spring planting.
Experience and qualifications are not necessary; you just need to be fun loving, dedicated, and willing to learn.
In this busy and varied role you will work as part of a close-knit team to support people with all aspects of daily living – including support with personal cares, cleaning, promoting independence, and accessing the community!
To apply, please go to www.healthcarenz.co.nz, or call Franklyn (Sid) Starr on 03 363 2815 for further information.
VEHCILE FOR SALE
VEHCILE FOR SALE
UTE - Holden Commodore SS 2002.
Walk behinds and ride-ons.
• • • • • •
Phone Maurice 021 0231 9041
•
40 Hoskyns Road, Rolleston
Phone 03 980 4979
NZCare Group is one of the largest providers of support services to people with an intellectual disability.
GIVEAWAY
For your mower servicing, repairs and spares.
Recover: Lounge Suites Dining Chairs Squabs etc Free Quotes Based in Weedons
TRADES
We are seeking dedicated, enthusiastic people to work as full time, part time, and casual Community Support Workers across our services in Christchurch.
LAWN CARE
Upholsterer
Community Support Workers
WOOD shavings - untreated, clean shavings suitable for horse stables, calving sheds, chicken houses and rabbit hutches. Available in 70L bags, 1m 3 bales (compressed) and bulk delivery. Phone 03 347 7352 for more details.
Contact Gael 0272 266 862.
Purpose built. Secure. Cheap rates. Rolleston. Please phone (03) 347 9464 or 027 223 8777 or contact us by email:
134500kms, 5-7 V8 6 speed manual Blue Excellent original condition 1 owner from new Average asking price & kms on internet $17,800.00 (175kms) Asking $18,885.00 ono
Phone 021 227 3998
Gavin Gardener - Phone: 0274 334 057 Office Contact - Phone: 03 347 9774
Based in West Melton, we build, renovate and work with EQC on their opt-out programme. • We cover the Selwyn area - No Job too Little, No Job too Big.
• We offer a full team of experienced tradesmen; Builders, Painters, Paper hangers, Brick laying, Plastering, Roofing. • Insurance quotes and repairs. • With the business operating for over 20 years, we are able to offer a wide scope of expertise and competitive rates.
BEAT THE MUD!
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Wednesday 27th August 2014
Gum Leaf gutter guard has been proven on 1000’s of homes across Australia & New Zealand for the last 12 years. Quality materials: BHP Colorbond steel mesh with unique patented louvre which will even keep out pine needles. Will not rust or sag with age or load. Colour matched to your existing roof colour. 10 Year warranty for total peace of mind.
Call Rohan Rudd for a no obligation assessment and quote any time, any day, except Sunday
0800 486532 or 03 9828850 www.gumleaf.co.nz
Need some help with: • • • • • •
Aerials/Dishes TV/DVR Set-up Wall Mounting Freeview/Decoders Cabling Phone Jacks
• • • •
Multi-room Systems Hook-ups Pre-wire (All Types) All Installations of TV, Freeview, Home Theatre, Hi Fi
Ph Simon 027 430 1211 / 03 317 8091 sdsh@xtra.co.nz Get me to do your ‘dishes’
For all your Plumbing Requirements in the Christchurch and Selwyn District areas.
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New Housing * Spouting * Roof Repairs * House Alterations * Hot Water Cylinders * Installing Solar Hot Water
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STEVE TE HAARA PHONE: 347 3006 FAX: 347 3008
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Garden Lighting House Re-Wire Telephone Extensions Kitchen Re-Fit New Builds/Extensions Spa Pool Installation Shop Fitting Office Re-fits Mitsubishi Heat Pumps Electrical Safety Certificate
MOBILE: 027 243 6974 EMAIL: tehaara@slingshot.co.nz
Mobile: 021 22 77 275 Ph: 379 6644 Fax: 379 6645 11 Allingham Lane Rolleston greg@aelectrical.co.nz
DID YOU KNOW? If you have a mains pressure hot water cylinder, it is recommended by the manufacturers that the sacrificial anode is checked every 10 years, & replaced if necessary. This will greatly increase the life of your cylinder.
A new anode is far cheaper than a new cylinder!
♦ Alterations/Upgrades ♦ Maintenance & General ♦ Town & Country
Ph 0800 765 758 Mob 0274 339 104 A/H 347 9282 81 Main South Road, Rolleston
MURRAY HATCHARD • • •
Washing Machine Repairs Hire Machines Reconditioned Machines
For this and other helpful advice on Solar Heating, renovations and repairs – Ring the team at
Laser Plumbing Christchurch West 03 348 6920 • 0800 11 22 40 chchwest@laserplumbing.co.nz
67 Burnham Rd, Burnham Phone 03 347 6768 Mobile 027 432 8651
Andy’s Furniture Repairs Stripping, Re-polishing Repairs to all wooden furniture
Phone 03 3431665
Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.” “That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!” “That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!” A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!” “That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!” The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask. “I work for 7 Up!”