Rolleston news 28th may

Inside this issue: Local Showcase Photography Display

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Phone: 318 7450 Fax: 318 7451 Email: rollestonnews@xtra.co.nz Web: www.malvernnews.co.nz

ISSUE 109 Wednesday 28th May 2014

Walkathon Bike Winners 2 Synchronised Swimmers 3 To Attend Championship Men’s Shed Update

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Winter Is Here, Use Your Lights

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Rolleston Probus

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Book Crazy

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Free Seminar

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Mortgage & Insurance Advice Public Notices Classifieds Trades Email Column

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The information and opinions published are not necessarily those of the Rolleston News proprietors.

Rolleston News is distributed to almost 3000 homes and businesses in the Rolleston area.

Monthly Newspaper Business Cards ♦ Photocopying ♦ Laminating ♦ Binding ♦ Typesetting ♦

The appointed Establishment Board of Trustees (EBoT) for the new Rolleston Secondary School recently visited other secondary schools in Auckland as part of their research into both facilities and models of education. This was in preparation for planning the new secondary school due to open in January 2017.

The Board officially formed on April 15th and is currently working through all the submissions and feedback received from surrounding schools and the wider The EBoT has been appointed for the new secondary school to be built at Rolleston. community. The appointed The EBoT’s role is to oversee and assist in the process of setting up the new school.

Board has good representation EBOT members L-R: Darren Sudlow, Jackie Freeman (Chair), from the local community with Lynley Shaw, Greg Knowles, and Neil Voyce.

Jackie Freeman, Freeman Lynley Shaw, Greg Knowles and Darren become a Selwyn resident and The appointed Board has also to work closely with community Sudlow all residing in Rolleston already has links with Rolleston co-opted Liz Brown from Te and other schools to deliver the whilst Neil Voyce is intending to and Lincoln.

Taumutu local Rūnanga and is best results. We hope to supported by a Governance achieve this through various • relaxation Facilitator, Debbie Dawson and ways and are currently working • deep tissue Senior Adviser from the Ministry on our consultation and • sports communication plans,” said of Education, Linda Youl.

Youl Qualified Therapist • hot stone “We are very conscious that this Jackie Freeman, Chairperson of Phone Janene • pregnancy is an exciting opportunity for the the EBoT. 03 347 7674 • workplace wider community and we want • events 021 169 9229

Massage

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gift vouchers

♦

If it’s newsworthy and you know about it - we’d like to know too!

Next edition will be distributed Wednesday 25th June Deadline: 5pm Thursday 19th June

Right here in Rolleston - we’re your local!

One stop shop For flowers and Gifts.

June Special

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Roast of the Day

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Enjoy with a glass of your favourite wine.

Phone for a booking or just call in Fri, Sat, Sun 11am - 5pm 796 Highfield Road, Aylesbury - Phone 03 318 1826

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classy clocks wacky wall art fabulous flowers gorgeous giftware

We have it all!!

SHOP 15 - ROLLESTON SQUARE PHONE: 03 347 1068

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Wednesday 28th May 2014 STOCK CLEARANCE! Everything Must Go!

30 - 60% OFF EVERYTHING Limited Time Available Opening Days/Times: May/June: Mon - Wed: 9 - 11am, 7 - 9pm 13 Delamare Way, Rolleston.

Open by appt at other times.

To arrange ph Ange 027 541 1161

High Quality Girls Must-Haves!

American Branded

“Call me now to find out what your home is worth on today's market” Phone 027 662 2751 or 03 347 9949

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Clark Land Surveyors Ltd REGISTERED SURVEYORS – LAND USE PLANNERS DEVELOPMENT CONSULTANTS

Prompt, friendly, innovative and cost efficient solutions for your surveying, mapping, land development & land use planning requirements Free initial consultation and budget analysis Contact: Contact Christchurch 03 339 0401, Fax 03 339 0408 Email: cls@cls.co.nz PO Box 8177, Riccarton, Christchurch 8440

Images of Rolleston are now on display at the Rolleston Community Centre, thanks to the work of a local photographer.

Eight photos showing various locations around Rolleston form part of the new display of images that Rolleston photographer Bekki Bennett took as part of a Diploma in Digital Photography course through the Southern Institute of Technology.

“For my final major project of the course I designed and constructed the website ‘My Rolleston’ to showcase key places or events in Rolleston.

But I wanted to take it a step further and have my photography displayed in a public place for everyone to enjoy,” Bekki said.

Bekki commented that the images, taken in recognisable places around Rolleston, will be enjoyed by all residents and visitors to the library and

West Melton School recently held a walkathon to raise money for the senior playground. Those pupils who raised the most funds were rewarded with a new bike!

L-R: Moa Team winners: Cameron Beuth and Toby Blain (both raised the same amount of money, another bike is on it way!)

Pukeko Team winner: Hamish Earnshaw Kiwi Team winner: Nikita A tremendous effort by the whole school saw a total of $8,800 raised to go towards the senior playground.

Rolleston photographer Bekki Bennett and her daughter Summer in front of the photography display at the Rolleston Community Centre. community centre facilities. “A lot of the places are easily identifiable, like the Tennyson Street signpost and the bird sculpture in Rolleston Square”, she said. "It will be interesting to see how the town develops and changes from the way it is depicted in the photos.”

Bekki’s daughter Summer also

features in one of the images where she is shown riding her bike at Rolleston Reserve.

Printing and hanging costs were covered by a $759 grant from the Creative Communities Scheme, which is administered

by Selwyn District Council on behalf of Creative New Zealand.

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Wednesday 28th May 2014

Synchronised Swimming is alive and well in Selwyn. Based in Weedons, at Small Strokes Swim School, a group of dedicated girls aged from seven to fifteen years old have been preparing to compete in the South Island Championships.

“Currently we are the only affiliated Synchronised Swimming Club in Canterbury,” said Coach and Small Strokes’ owner Joan Billing.

Billing “The girls have been practicing up to three times a week, since the middle of last year, for this competition, and will be expected to compete in the pool over two days of competition. Typically there is a figure section where the girls have to demonstrate single individual moves, and then a team routine to music for three minutes. That might not sound like a long time, but they must not touch the bottom of the pool at all, and have some pretty tricky moves to execute,” Joan commented.

Joan, is an experienced national level coach plus judge and has over 28 years experience with synchronised swimming events.

Since moving to Selwyn eight years ago, Joan has led a team of professional swim coaches specialising in learn-to-swim classes for babies, through to school students.

The South Island Championships will be held in Dunedin on June 21st and 22nd. Small Strokes Swim School can be contacted direct by anyone interested in finding out more about general

The Small Strokes Swim School’s synchronised swimming team to attend the South Island Championships in June.

Back row: Morgan Bianchet, Lauren Small, Samantha Asher, Nina Weir.

Front row: Tia Betteridge, Hayley Small, Alessandra Ward swimming classes or synchronised swimming.

“We would also like to acknowledge the help we have had from people to attend these competitions,” Joan added. The Selwyn District Council, Synlait and The Warehouse in Rolleston are all worthy of our appreciation, as they have provided either grants or clothing. We also gratefully thank Weedons School and Small Strokes clients who supported our two bake sales,” Joan concluded.

NICK & YOLANDE HOWELL - NEW VETS IN ROLLESTON Hours: Monday to Friday 8am - 6pm, Saturday 9am - 1pm

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Wednesday 28th May 2014

The wheels of bureaucracy are turning slowly, but the Rolleston Men’s Shed group are close to getting their site at Foster Park for a permanent Shed. Men’s Shed members are looking forward to gaining access and are busy making preparations for the big move.

In the meantime the Men’s Shed group is getting good attendance from local males keen to assist in the community.

The men are currently working on their largest project, the building of a carpentry shed for Rolleston Play Centre. The project is planned to be completed by the month’s end and is hoped to be a wonderful asset for the Playcentre.

Shed members have completed tasks for Plunket, Enviro Garden and Scouts, as well as having jobs in the pipeline for the Tennis, Netball and Dog Clubs.

The Men’s Shed is a charitable trust, and as there was no existing building in Rolleston, when the Rolleston Men’s Shed

was established, the members have set about creating a base, while supporting the local community. At present the Men’s Shed’s biggest need is money! They would much appreciate making contact with someone who can assist them in attracting donations or sponsorship etc. If any new or existing business in the area would like to make a donation to

the Group, it would be guaranteed to be gratefully received.

“If any retirees would like to come along on a Wednesday or Saturday morning to the Men’s Shed, you would be most welcome,” said Men’s Shed spokesperson Neil Bennett.

Bennett For more information contact Neil on 347-3173 or 027 430 3076 rollyshed@xtra.co.nz

Winter causes all sorts of problems with visibility when driving, including snow and ice, fog, rain and increased hours of darkness. The Road Code says that a vehicle’s headlights must be used, from thirty minutes after sunset, until thirty minutes before sunrise and at any other time a person or vehicle can’t be clearly seen one hundred metres away.

Ngaire Tinning, Tinning Road Safety Coordinator, commented that, “most of the time it is obvious

when lights need to go on, but outside the guidelines given in the road code, there are a number of other circumstances where using lights will increase the visibility and safety of all road users.”

“When there is fog and rain, or where there is the potential for sunstrike, it can be more difficult to see other vehicles.

Using lights on dip is the best measure and it’s timely to remind drivers that a vehicle’s park lights are only designed for

use when the vehicle is stationary,” Ngaire said.

Increasing following distances and taking more care to check ahead before passing in these conditions is also essential, as there may be vehicles that do not have their lights on and so blend into the winter conditions.

Using vehicle lights will increase the chance of seeing and being seen, from one hundred metres away, greatly.

L-R: Neil Bennett and Barry Armstrong with Bill Gaskell (inside with the Children and parents from Rolleston Playcentre).

The Men’s Shed current and largest project undertaken is this new carpentry shed for Rolleston Play Centre.

Phone - 03 322 7770

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Wednesday 28th May 2014

Rolleston Combined Probus Club welcomed David Buick to their April meeting. David spoke informatively on Habitat for Humanity. Those present admitted to not knowing a great deal about this organisation prior to David’s talk and found it an extremely interesting topic.

Habitat for Humanity is an international not-for-profit organisation. The ultimate goal of Habitat for Humanity is to eliminate poverty housing and homelessness from the face of the earth by building adequate and basic accommodation.

Since 1976 Habitat for Humanity has built, repaired

Stops at Little River, Barry’s Bay Cheese, and the Gem Stone factory at Birdling’s Flat were all much enjoyed.

May’s guest speaker was Des Lines, described as an aviator extraordinaire. Des had wanted nothing more than to fly since he was a youngster, and although his parents were against it, he did realise his dream. He began by flying small aircraft before working his way up to 747’s with Air New Zealand. It was a most interesting and descriptive talk about the airline industry.

Members were also interested to hear that Des now owns four aircraft of his own, housed on his property, which is complete with a runway.

Several Probus members recently attended Malvina Major’s concert at the Transitional Cathedral, an excellent event, which was much enjoyed.

The Probus group would like to thank the Selwyn Central Community Board, for supporting two well received first aid courses focussing on CPR and general first aid for seniors.

May also saw a large number of members visit Rolleston Women’s Prison and, laughed Probus publicity officer, Neil Bennett, Bennett “we weren’t sure how many we would bring back!”

Book week at Rolleston School was held the first week of term two. However by far the most This years the programme included book activities, a book sale exciting trip, members are and even a dress-up day which included the teachers! looking forward to, is the Above: Teachers Jen Bailey and Alison Twentyman dressed planned cruise to New as their favourite book characters.

Caledonia, in July. A total of thirty six Probus members will fly to Sydney, before boarding the Carnival Spirit for an eight day cruise.

For more Probus info contact: Enhancing Selwyn • Neil Bennett - Publicity 347-3173 District for over 25 years • Val Roxburgh - Secretary 347-7397 ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■

and renovated homes in nearly one hundred countries, with a new house being completed every fifteen minutes. The first New Zealand house was built in in 1993 and branches throughout New Zealand have helped give around four hundred families a hand up into their own home.

Also in April, Rolleston Combined Probus Club members travelled to Akaroa on a rearranged trip, which had originally been postponed due to bad weather and road closures. The weather for the replacement day was beautiful and a good time was had by all.

Civil Works Specialists Landscaping, Irrigation Post driving, Fencing Driveways, Diggers, Tip Trucks & Bobcat Cultivation, Fertiliser Spreading Tree & Shelter Belt Clean-up Service Suppliers of screened soil & shingle

Family owned and operated, free advice and quotes all part of the friendly service.

Phone 03 347 8555

www.mcl.kiwi.nz

tim.g@deckandfencepro.co.nz

Call Tim 027 349 0527

Design – Installation – Servicing Toro Irrigation Systems Lawns - Gardens Lifestyle Blocks - K-Line Irrigation Sports Grounds - Horticulture Trenching Free Quotes

Freeman Irrigation Ltd Phil & Kristie Hudson Free Phone: 0800 22 33 92 Website: www.freemanirrigation.co.nz Email: info@freemanirrigation.co.nz

MACHINERY HIRE SPECIALISTS

• Kubota tractor with mower/hoe • 1.5T Excavator

Hours: Collection 8:00am - 9:00am Drop Off 4:30pm - 5:30pm

Hire Bookings Essential West Melton Phone Stu 03 347 8516 Mon - Fri or 027 223 4730

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Wednesday 28th May 2014 PUBLIC NOTICES

Statistics New Zealand is running a free seminar (as part of their national census roadshow) presenting information from the census 2013 on how Selwyn communities have changed, since the last census in 2006.

The seminar will: • provide a broad overview of the census • talk about interesting trends at a local and national level • let people know what information is available from the 2013 Census Find out how to: • navigate the census pages on the website • access information about the local area • explore and visualise statistics about the area with the StatsMaps tool • build tables using the NZ.Stat tool.

Those attending can bring their own device to work with and be shown how to navigate the website.

The seminar, held at Lincoln, is open to everyone.

Register at: www.stats.govt.nz/census-seminars

PROPERTY VALUES RISE AGAIN Nationwide residential values for April have increased 8.4% over the past year, and 0.2% over the past three months. This means they are now 13% above the previous market peak of late 2007.

After initially flattening off, values are now accelerating at a similar rate to last year and Auckland values have also risen across all five main former territorial authority areas after a few months of slowing earlier this year.

QV Valuer Daryl Taggart said “The market is flatter at the moment and while there is the usual activity there doesn't seem to be the hype and fierce competition for property seen this time last year.”

Some properties are on the market longer as vendors hold out for the right buyer, which could suggest there is a bit more choice in the market.”

“The general feeling is that the market has steadied, although we are still seeing growth, just not that rapid rise of early 2013. In some areas, I would suggest that properties have increased very little in the last year, as there are not the buyers that are prepared to pay over the odds.”

The above extract from QV would suggest that the Reserve Bank initiative to slow the market has had some effect, but property is still a great investment in our area.

Borrowing above the 80% threshold is still available on construction lending and House and Land packages, and in a lot of cases these represent better value for your investment.

Ginny Nelson Providing you with quality advice for Mortgages Refinancing & Re-fixing Loans, Mortgage Protection, Life/Trauma, Income Protection & Health Insurance Phone: 03 3477 205 Mobile: 0275 391 006 ginny@central-insurance.co.nz Disclosure Document Available on Request

r Deadline fo ue the next iss of the ews Rolleston N is Thursday 19th June

CELEBRANT WEDDINGS, Civil Union Ceremonies, Renewal of Vows, Naming Ceremonies, Funerals & Unveilings. Jenni Gibson phone/fax: 324 8332 Mobile:021 723 089 jenni@celebrantservices.net.nz

www.celebrantservices.net.nz

AUTOMOTIVE

• WOF while you wait • Full mechanical repairs

and servicing on all makes and models of vehicles • 5 mechanics on site.

Putting the service into automotive servicing

PUBLIC NOTICES

PROACTIVE MARTIAL ARTS TEMPLETON OFFERS TWO FREE LESSONS We are a freestyle Martial Art, teaching in a fun & relaxed atmosphere Come along and have a look. Gain confidence, co-ordination, fitness and self-defence. We cater for all age groups and fitness levels.

Templeton Community Centre • Mondays & Fridays TIGERS: 3-7yrs 3.30-4.05pm PANTHERS: 7-12yrs 4.10-4.55pm XTREME: 12+yrs 5.00-5.50pm FREESTYLE: Adults 5.55-6.55pm For any enquiries ph Jacque or Allister 03 349 4946. www.selfdefence.co.nz

Jones Road Auto 851 Jones Rd, Rolleston Phone 347 4020 DRIVEWAYS LIFESTYLE, LIFESTYLE farm tracks, yards and dairy lanes our speciality.

Screened rotten-rock, it’s local and lasts better. Springfield Quarry phone 318 4132.

Rolleston Central Health Selwyn’s New Integrated Family Health Centre Now Open - New Patients Welcome.

Please phone for an enrolment appointment.

Phone 03 347 2614 General Practice ● Pharmacy Physio ● Podiatrist ● Osteopath * Due to building delays beyond our control, we will be operating from temporary premises for approximately three weeks, located at:

Rolleston Dental Centre, 36 Tennyson St (next to Rolleston Reserve) Our brand new facility will be opening in mid to late June, Please check our website for updates.

www.rollestonhealth.co.nz

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Wednesday 28th May 2014 EQUESTRIAN

GIVEAWAY

FREE HORSE MANURE

Children's riding lessons: $20 half hour, $35 hour.

Qualified & experienced instructor. Learn to groom, tack up & ride one of our well schooled ponies.

Phone Kate 03 347 6678 or 021 113 6370

FOR SALE

Refresh your garden over winter with natural horse manure to get ready for spring planting.

Contact Gael 0272 266 862.

PEA STRAW

LAWN CARE

CAN DELIVER

TRADES

TRADES

HANDYMAN - Mike the UPHOLSTERER - Recover lounge H andy ma n s erv in g a ll suites, dining chairs, squabs handyman, lawnmowing and etc. Free quotes. Based in general work, Selwyn area. Weedons. Please phone 03 980 Phone 0800 287 828 or 4979.

03 347 7437.

$40 Phone 027 439 9116

E: rosewoodlivery@hotmail.co.nz

FENCING SUMMERFIELD Fencing - in your area now. Lifestyle. Farm.

Sheep. Cattle. Horse. All types of animals. Fences. Yards. sheds. Arenas. Shelters. Runs.

27 yeas contract fencing.

John is available to help with design and planning. Phone Carol and John Summerfield 03 312 4747.

FIREWOOD AC & EA WAKELIN Firewood Suppliers. Mature Pine: 3mtrs - $175. 6mtrs - $340 9mtrs $510. 12mtrs - $675 15mtrs - $840. Hardwoods available.

Old man pine also available.

WINZ quotes welcomed.

Certified truck for measurement.

Please phone 318 1484 or 021 260 4520.

RK Firewood is back. Are you ready for winter? Available now - Old Man Pine, Bluegum & Oregon. All top quality, dry, clean wood. Eftpos available.

Please phone Rini Contracting 027 451 7300.

STORAGE 40 Hoskyns Road, Rolleston

For your mower servicing, repairs and spares.

Walk behinds and ride-ons.

Phone Maurice 021 0231 9041

KENNEDYS - Purpose built.

Secure. Cheap rates.

Rolleston. Please phone (03) 347 9464 or 027 223 8777 or contact us by email: kennedysstorage@xtra.co.nz WINDOW CLEANING

WINDOW CLEANING

SITUATIONS VACANT

WALKLINS Joinery Ltd has a fulltime position available for a qualified joiner or someone very keen to learn the industry. Full training will be provided. A car license is a must. For more info please ring Mark Walker: 318 1529 or 027 671 0133.

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Professional Honest & Reliable Phone Tom Giller 0800 382 5253 027 499 3535

Gavin Gardener - Phone: 0274 334 057 Office Contact - Phone: 03 347 9774

Based in West Melton, we build, renovate and work with EQC on their opt-out programme.

• We cover the Selwyn area - No Job too Little, No Job too Big.

• We offer a full team of experienced tradesmen; SITUATIONS VACANT

ROOFER/ EXPERIENCED HANDYMAN Seek Ad ID 26396020

Forward C.V. to apisl2008@slingshot.co.nz or phone 03 347 2635 or text 027 349 4014

Builders, Painters, Paper hangers, Brick laying, Plastering, Roofing.

• Insurance quotes and repairs.

• With the business operating for over 20 years, we are able to offer a wide scope of expertise and competitive rates.

BEAT THE MUD!

FOR SALE WOOD shavings - untreated, clean shavings suitable for horse stables, calving sheds, chicken houses and rabbit hutches. Available in 70L bags, 1m3 bales (compressed) and bulk delivery. Phone 03 347 7352 for more details.

Ellesmere College uniform second hand.

Very good condition, used for few months only.

• • • • •

3 white blouse sz 10, $30 each.

1 black skirt small sz, $30 each.

1 Jersey sz 34/87cm $40 1 long sleeve sz 10 $35 1 necktie $10

Dunsandel Primary School • • •

2 t-shirt sz 10, $15 1 short pant size 10, $15 1 sweat shirt size 10, $30 all in good condition Interested persons should contact Magnus on 027 721 6349

Community Support Workers NZCare Group is one of the largest providers of support services to people with an intellectual disability.

We are seeking dedicated, enthusiastic people to work as full time, part time, and casual Community Support Workers across our services in Christchurch.

In this busy and varied role you will work as part of a close-knit team to support people with all aspects of daily living – including support with personal cares, cleaning, promoting independence, and accessing the community!

A huge part of this role is supporting people to achieve their goals and live an ordinary life – if you want to make a difference, this is the position for you!

Experience and qualifications are not necessary; you just need to be fun loving, dedicated, and willing to learn.

To apply, please go to www.healthcarenz.co.nz, or call Georgia Fretwell on 03 363 2815 for further information.

Specialists in cutting Macrocarpa, Douglas Fir and much more…..

Give us a call for your next project!!

Greendale 03 317 8171 stuartsawmill@hotmail.com

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Pergolas Landscaping Table top slabs Post & rail fencing Firewood Beams Sleepers Large pillars & gateposts Untreated sawdust

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Wednesday 28th May 2014

Gum Leaf gutter guard has been proven on 1000’s of homes across Australia & New Zealand for the last 12 years.

Quality materials: BHP Colorbond steel mesh with unique patented louvre which will even keep out pine needles.

Will not rust or sag with age or load.

Colour matched to your existing roof colour.

10 Year warranty for total peace of mind.

Call Rohan Rudd for a no obligation assessment and quote any time, any day, except Sunday

0800 486532 or 03 9828850 www.gumleaf.co.nz

Need some help with: • • • • • •

Aerials/Dishes TV/DVR Set-up Wall Mounting Freeview/Decoders Cabling Phone JacksMulti-room

• • •

Systems Hook-ups Pre-wire (All Types) All Installations of TV, Freeview, Home Theatre, Hi Fi

Ph Simon 027 430 1211 / 03 317 8091 sdsh@xtra.co.nz Get me to do your ‘dishes’

DID YOU KNOW? If you have a mains pressure hot water cylinder, it is recommended by the manufacturers that the sacrificial anode is checked every 10 years, & replaced if necessary.

For all your Plumbing Requirements in the Christchurch and Selwyn District areas.

● ●

New Housing * Spouting * Roof Repairs * House Alterations * Hot Water Cylinders * Installing Solar Hot Water

● ● ● ● ●

STEVE TE HAARA PHONE: 347 3006 FAX: 347 3008

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MOBILE: 027 243 6974 EMAIL: tehaara@slingshot.co.nz

Garden Lighting House Re-Wire Telephone Extensions Kitchen Re-Fit New Builds/Extensions Spa Pool Installation Shop Fitting Office Re-fits Mitsubishi Heat Pumps Electrical Safety Certificate

This will greatly increase the life of your cylinder.

A new anode is far cheaper than a new cylinder!

For this and other helpful advice on Solar Heating, renovations and repairs – Ring the team at

Laser Plumbing Christchurch West 03 348 6920 • 0800 11 22 40 chchwest@laserplumbing.co.nz

Mobile: 021 22 77 275 Ph: 379 6644 Fax: 379 6645 11 Allingham Lane Rolleston greg@aelectrical.co.nz

♦ Alterations/Upgrades ♦ Maintenance & General ♦ Town & Country

Ph 0800 765 758 Mob 0274 339 104 A/H 347 9282 81 Main South Road, Rolleston

MURRAY HATCHARD Washing Machine Repairs • Hire Machines • Reconditioned Machines •

67 Burnham Rd, Burnham Phone 03 347 6768 Mobile 027 432 8651

Andy’s Furniture Repairs Stripping, Re-polishing Repairs to all wooden furniture

Phone 03 3431665

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.

Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Traffic Officer, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the officer's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the officer got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes.

Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding, a reason I've never before heard, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Traffic Officer. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the officer.