5. Stay calm- Teens often show many behaviours that disturb us and make conversations unpleasant. Instead of reacting to an angry, shouting teen and wanting to “win” by challenging or shouting back louder, remain calm. By shouting and getting annoyed, the situation will only become more aggressive and tenser. If necessary, move out from the situation for a few minutes until we feel calm. Give the teen the chance to make their point and then respond calmly to what they have said. Once they run out of things to say, they will calm down. Here are some Self - calming thoughts to use next time:
I cannot control his behaviour, but I can control my behaviour.
I’m not going to let this get to me.
I am not going to be stubborn.
I’m not going to yell. My being upset and yelling will not help the situation. I don’t have to deal with this in an upset state of mind, it will only make matters worse. I will stop and be quiet for a while. I will go to another room and take some deep breaths.
Later I will talk about it calmly with her.
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