OPINION // MICKY MURRAY
QUICKLY ADAPTING. MICKY MURRAY I HOPE EVERYONE IS DOING WELL, it’s certainly been a very difficult and trying time for everyone, and the community spirit has been nothing short of amazing! The strangest thing for me has been how well I’ve adapted. I’m very much a people person and I’m always out catching up with friends, or going to a coffee shop, out for dinner, or out dancing the night away, I’m very rarely in the house, but I’ve become really well adapted to staying at home, but like many other people I’m now somewhere between itching to get back outside and never wanting to leave the house again. So much has changed since March, it’s hard to keep track. A lot of people have been using lockdown to look inwards and make changes to their lives, I’ve been trying to eat less red meat, improve my (ridiculously mediocre) cooking skills, and making travel plans for the future, reading books and binging on Netflix. On the topic of Netflix, has everyone watched Schitts Creek? If not, you’ve wasted lockdown, it’s by far the greatest show on Netflix at the moment, and they’ve recently just uploaded the final season. It’s absolutely hilarious, written by and starring David Levy, the son of Eugene Levy who is also a lead character, and Catherine O’Hara who is so outrageously amazing and deserves so much more credit for how great she is. It’s about a ridiculously wealthy family who find
EIGHTEEN // GNIMAG.COM
themselves broke and lose everything after their business manager screws them over and disappears, the only possession they’re allowed to keep is this small town, Schitts Creek, in the middle of nowhere, which they bought as a joke. It’s the perfect lock down comedy, which included some great LGBT themes which are handled so perfectly well and not at all like I’ve seen before. I highly recommend watching it and then watching the documentary about them filming the final season, I cried the whole way through, and it’ll make you appreciate it all that little bit more. By far the toughest time for me during lockdown was not being able to attend the Black Lives Matter protests, I’m an activist, it’s in my nature to do what I can to stand up against oppression and discrimination, but unfortunately I was unable to attend because I live with a key worker and I had to make the tough decision not to attend because of the current health pandemic. I spent my last meeting as vice-chair of the North Belfast Policing and Community Safety Partnership, before my term ends, in a meeting with the Policing Board and other PCSP members discussing the PSNI response to Covid-19, where I outlined the damage that has been done to confidence in policing among minority groups because of the fines that were issued, at one protest but not the other. We should always stand up against oppression and discrimination, protesting is a basic right of every person, it’s been around since before we were all here and it will remain well after we’re gone. It was definitely a moral dilemma between exercising my right to protest and protecting others. I’ve also got involved with the All Party Parliamentary Group on LGBT+ Rights in Westminster, as Chair of the Alliance Party LGBT group, and we recently wrote to the UK Government, along with six other political parties represented in Westminster, against any rollbacks on the rights of Trans people. Which other than being the right thing to do, has given me something to focus on. The final thing that’s gotten me through lockdown is podcasts, I’ve only discovered podcasts during lockdown, and I mentioned the ‘Get Sleepy’ podcast in the last issue, that I’ve been using to help me sleep. Alyssa Milano, Phoebe from Charmed, does a great podcast “Sorry, not sorry”, it’s largely about US politics, but she has some great guests, such as Erin Brockovich, and most recently David Litt, who was Barack Obama’s speech writer, so it you’re wanting something interesting and thought provoking, this is the podcast for you. Stay safe, look after each other, and try to stay positive! Lockdown won’t be in place forever!
Ooops!
Sanitise, don’t sensualise Please don’t masturbate with hand sanitiser. In the wake of the coronavirus pandemic, hand sanitiser bottles are flying off the shelves, but the clear liquid might not only be used for what you imagine. In case you haven’t caught the hint: we’re talking about masturbation. While most people are stocking up on necessities, lube is probably not high on that list – but please, when you’re enjoying your ‘lunch break’ while working from home, do not reach for the hand sanitiser. To put it plainly: masturbating with hand sanitiser (the clue is in the product name) is a very bad idea. A brave yet foolish soul, who said he is a ‘male in my 30s with an uncircumcised penis’ explained that he wanted to experience a golden shower and thought it would be a great idea to replace pee with hand sanitiser (please, don’t). ‘I grab some hand sanitiser. I go for it,’ he said. ‘Except, I put a bit too much on. It burns a little more than I can take and I have to rinse off. ‘I get up and try again, this time, just a drop, right on the urethra. It stings a tiny bit but I go for it and fap it up. I get that slight hot kind-of-burning-butkind-of-not feeling and if I don’t look down it feels like I’m pissing up a storm!’ Say this with us: hand sanitiser on your penis or inside your vagina is a very, very bad idea. While you’re at it, don’t reach for your electric toothbrush or the pineapple slices that you’ve been stockpiling to give your dick a tingle, either. ‘We know supermarkets are running out of hand sanitisers due to concerns around Covid-19,’ said Frankie Sales Advisor Misstique. ‘Now, we must not forget that alcohol-based gels were initially used to clean hands in the absence of hand washing facilities – the best option is still soap and water. ‘Masturbation is a natural thing that many people enjoy. However I strongly advise not to use hand sanitiser on your genitals to masturbate. ‘ Before you go there, soap is also a no-go. Frankie adds: ‘Yes, our groins are warm, dark places and have a tendency to perspire – however the skin there is sensitive. ‘One of the main ingredients in many hand sanitisers is isopropyl alcohol. ‘Isopropyl alcohol is not safe for internal use, and if used whilst masturbating it could make its way down your vaginal or penile opening – this will damage the internal skin. ‘Alcohol is drying, and the skin on your genitals is also sensitive and just as easily damaged.’ Be careful if you’re having sex with others, too. ‘Also, if you expect to share your nether regions with another, and if you’ve ever licked your hand after using hand sanitiser before, you will know it won’t taste great for them,’ adds Frankie.. ‘Therefore, hand sanitiser should only be used on the hands for the purpose of killing bacteria/viruses and should never be used as a lubricant to masturbate with.
