BIG DAY - DARYL & STEPHEN

THE BIG DAY //

DARYL & STEPHEN

SO TELL US HOW YOU MET, WERE YOU SINGLE FOR A LONG TIME BEFORE YOU STARTED DATING ?

We have known each other for over 30 years having first met while working for Next although we were in different stores. Over the years it’s been like the movie sliding doors, we would be in the same places but with different sets of friends, noticed each other from afar but always thought “he wouldn’t be interested in me” (like we all do) - little did we know lol.

We both found ourselves single and a few years ago we reconnected through social media and got chatting, met for a coffee – and as they say, the rest is history.

HOW LONG AFTER YOU STARTED DATING DID IT TAKE TO POP THE QUESTION, WAS IT AN IMMEDIATE YES?

It wasn’t long after we connected that we realised this was much more than a casual relationship – our bond grew deeper with each date and we both knew, as clichéd as it sounds, that we had found our soul mates in each other. Daryl: “I think for the first time ever I had found true love (yes it really does exist)”. As well as soul mates and boyfriends, we were lucky to find that we were also best friends, and knew very soon into our relationship we wanted to spend our lives together – there was no big revelation and getting onto one knee. The question of marriage was the natural evolution in demonstrating our love and commitment to one another through a celebration to share with our families and friends (all of whom have all been utterly supportive, encouraging and happy for us both).

TELL US ABOUT YOUR BIG DAY, LOCATION, AMOUNT OF GUESTS ETC. WAS IT PLANNED PRE COVID, HAD YOU TO ALTER MANY THINGS?

We decided on, and in fact arranged our marriage long before Covid hit. From the start we had the same idea of wanting the city as our backdrop – we loved the idea of street settings for our photos, swapping the conventional parkland photos usually reserved for weddings, with the urbanity of tall buildings, the graffiti and rawness that gives Belfast its vitality. We originally planned for the City Hall as a venue and wanted to use the short walk from it to the Europa Hotel (no hotel says Belfast like the Europa!) to capture our guests, all to be in black and/or white attire (black-tie and Tux/Cocktail dress combo) in the city setting – but then, as our plans for the reception and evening party grew, so did our guest list. We had to abandon the City Hall on numbers, opting for the Grand Central Hotel instead as a wedding venue. The stage was set for the party of all parties and then Covid hit. After almost 16 months of planning we had to significantly pare back on our expectations. We initially had planned for 80 guests that moved up to 120 for the reception and probably the same number on top of that for the evening party – faced at one stage with having a celebrant and witnesses only; and later to 25 guests and no reception and then to the number of guests being determined by the size/capacity of the venue (still no indoor reception!), we had to take the decision to cancel the Europa or the whole wedding. We decided to work within the Covid restrictions that allowed for outdoor dining of “bubbles” of up to 6 people (from no more than two households) and go ahead with our chosen date which without realising it when booking, was the 21st day of the 21st week of the 21st year of 21st century!. The hard part was to follow – finding a venue in Belfast we could book, as well as accommodate as many as possible of our planned guests, all within the guidelines. We found the perfect venue that took us one level beyond our planned urban backdrop, that allowed us uninterrupted views of the city’s most iconic landmarks, the Harland and Wolff cranes – Cargo by We are Vertigo!

Our wedding service went ahead as planned with reduced numbers in the Grand Central Hotel – the staff there and in the Europa have been amazing in their help and patience

through all of the changes we were forced to make. Between a number of cars and the use of Allen’s Tours 1966 Red Routemaster London bus that took us on a short tour around the city, we were able to have 49 people join us in the VIP area of Cargo in socially distanced bubbles. While not our initial choice of venue, the atmosphere was buzzing and the staff made everyone feel welcome safe and most of all went out of their way to help people keep warm being an unseasonably cold and wet day for outdoor dining!

YOU ARE ONE OF THE FIRST SAME SEX COUPLES IN N.I TO TIE THE KNOT, WAS THIS PLANNED OR DID IT HAPPEN BY ACCIDENT?

This happened completely by accident – however we are so proud of the fact we were able to get married at home rather than having to travel elsewhere

WHAT ABOUT THE FOOD AND DRINK?

While not conventional wedding food, Cargo offered a three course meal of chicken or flat

bread starters; a great selection of pizzas; and a long list of fabulous deserts – oh and Prosecco on tap lol .

WITH RESTRICTIONS WILL YOU GET A HONEYMOON OR ARE YOU PLANNING ONE FOR NEXT YEAR?

We had booked a 5 star honeymoon in Santorini and Mykonos over a year ago which was cancelled by the tour operators – we rebooked the same package independently, hoping that by the time it came around, restrictions on international travel would have eased. After the wedding, while international travel was possible, Greece was on the Amber list of countries. As we both had our double vaccinations, we took the gamble that it would not turn to a Red list country and travelled as planned (only with the added cost of 4 PCR tests and having to self-isolate on return). As it turned out, we got to spend 10 glorious days on the two islands which were pretty much devoid of tourists allowing us to explore and see them in their truest beauty – the social distancing measure in place were much more rigorous that those we have locally, so we were made to feel safe as well as welcome during every part of our stay.

We will hopefully have a further honeymoon later this year and again into 2022 as restrictions continue to ease lol.

IN YOUR DAY TO DAY LIVES ARE YOU INTO THE SAME THINGS? WHAT INTERESTS DO YOU HAVE THAT ARE DIFFERENT ?

We have come through the Covid restrictions and lockdowns being constantly in one another’s company – we are proud to say that we haven’t argued even once and have actually loved the opportunity lockdown has given us to cement the bonds of our relationship . We have so many similarities in our interests that we always finding something to talk about, plan for or do – we have spent the past year totally remodelling our home and now that there is an end in sight to the Covid restrictions we have started planning on travelling which is a passion for us both.

DO YOU DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER OR DO YOU LIKE TO KEEP INDEPENDENT?

A bit of both – Covid has obviously changed the normal run of things and we love being together and sharing our passion of food, travel, exercise, theatre, the arts…. At the same time, our jobs are vastly different from each other’s and that helps give us that healthy distance from doing everything together.

HAVE YOU A FAMILY, IS THIS SOMETHING ON THE PLAN FOR YOU?

We both love children and would love to be parents and are actively looking at options open to us.

TELL US WHO MADE YOUR DAY POSSIBLE IN TERMS OF RINGS, FLOWERS, PHOTOGRAPHER ETC...

Given the lockdown and local merchants not being open, we designed and ordered bespoke rings from a jeweller in London - after a major breakdown in communications and a meltdown (literally…. the initial rings were totally wrong and had to be remade), we got exactly what we wanted in the end but way too close to our big day for comfort. They are gorgeous, but word to the wise: where you can, buy local!

Re our flowers, Vicki at Norah Mitchell Flowers on the Hollywood Road pulled out all of the stops for us – she gave us her expert and very practical advice on our choices and accommodated delivery to multiple addresses without any hiccups! – Very competitively priced also and would highly recommend.

Best recommendation we can make is Laura Parkinson Photography – as well as being a very talented artist, Laura is the nicest person you could meet. Between lockdowns last year, Laura did a full getting-to-know-you shoot for us as part of the wedding package and her vigour and enthusiasm is totally contagious. For the wedding she was unobtrusive, taking an amazing array of portraits of us and our guests and mingled across the day, capturing the most beautiful, relaxed and candid shots of everyone at the wedding.

Finally we would like to say a word about our Registrar Eilis from Belfast City Council, who officiated over the wedding service. She was professional, relaxed and spoke to our guests as though they were her close friends – she really made the entire service feel unique and a celebration of our love.