Latest 7 Issue 368: 15-21 April 2008

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the magazine for brighton, hove & sussex 15–21 April 2008

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latest

jobs

Call Marie on 01273 818150 ext 102

Property Recruitment Specialists

Sales Manager

Crawley

Professional and driven sales manager required for this busy well established agent. Ideally you will have at least three years experience at senior level or feel that you are ready to take the next step up. You have strong sales skills and a high conversion rate winning instructions.

Lettings Negotiator

Haywards Heath

No experience in lettings necessary, but you must have a solid sales background, good customer service skills and be IT literate. You will be enthusiastic and have the desire to succeed. Full clean driving licence essential.

Temporary Lettings Negotiator

Brighton

We have a temporary opening at one of our local well established independent estate agents. General office duties, viewings, answering telephone, registering applicants. Please contact us today for more details!

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0845 130 1188 fax 0845 130 1189

email enquiries@lca-jobs.com

web www.lca-jobs.com

TOWN HOUSES/FLATS PRESTIGE HOMES PENTHOUSE FLATS INVESTMENT

EXPERIENCED RESIDENTIAL SALES NEGOIATOR REQUIRED Baron Neville's continued success and growth means we require a further experienced Residential Sales Negotiator for our extremely busy Brighton office.

The ideal candidate must have experience of the residential property market, be punctual at all times, always have a smart appearance, a mature and focused approach to the Estate Agency profession as well as having an ambition to succeed and a desire to grow within our dynamic and forward thinking Estate Agency.

Please send your CV to: pam@baronneville.co.uk

12 Regent Arcade, Brighton BN1 1HR

4 latest jobs

www.baronneville.co.uk

hundreds of jobs every week

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latest

Call Marie on 01273 818150 ext 102

KOMEDIA

jobs

BRIGHTON

are looking for an experienced and reliable venue caretaker/cleaner. The successful candidate will be responsible for the day to day cleaning and maintenance of our venue. Duties will include the supervision of other cleaning staff and carrying out day to day maintenance duties and repairs.

Top Media Jobs Java / JEE Developer – Enigma Data Solutions Enigma Data Solutions is looking for an experienced Java / JEE developer to join our small, dynamic development team in Uckfield, East Sussex. Help us develop our next generation of data management solutions. Any experience developing Rich Internet Applications (RIA), particularly using Adobe Flex, would be an advantage as we move to web-based user interfaces.

Senior Digital Art Director – Kerb

This is a full time post, with salary up to £17,000 pa dependent on skills and experience.

Due to the nature of our business, some flexibility on working hours would be required.

We are looking for an inspirational Senior Art Director with a love of interactive design to head up our team of talented digital designers. You will be working for high profile clients and also working on some very cool non-client projects. The role requires a full understanding of clients brand and marketing requirements, together with an innate urge to push the boundaries of interactive design.

Please e-mail admin@komedia.co.uk, look on www.komedia.co.uk or ring 01273 647101 for a job description and details of how to apply.

Senior DBA\Developer – Digital & Satellite Services Limited

Closing date for applications 22nd April 2008

The requirement is for an experienced senior SQL Server 2005 DBA capable of managing and advising on all aspects of the normal day to day, week to week etc. processes of administering a small to medium sized SQL Server 2005 database as described.

Software Technical Support – Dreamteam Design Ltd We are looking for individuals with the right attitude and enthusiasm to join our growing team. The role of Software Technical Support includes helping customers install, use and troubleshoot our e-commerce software product range. Dreamteam Design employ highly motivated and dedicated people whose enthusiasm for the internet and its technologies drives our success.

Business Development Executive – Silentworld Ltd SilentManager is the trading name of Silentworld Ltd. We as a business are 6 years old and have been running 'white label' fantasy sport games for brands and media partners globally in a variety of sports and languages.

eLearning Developer & Support – Driven Systems Ltd Driven Systems consult for organisations big and small to support them in developing, maintaining and enhancing their technology based learning, performance and HR initiatives. Driven Systems are looking for an eLearning Developer who can also help support us on our day to day technical requirements.

Junior Negotiator/Administrator Kendrick Property Services are currently seeking to recruit a full-time Junior Negotiator/Administrator for their new busy office located on Church Road, Hove.

The candidate we seek for this role will need to be able to demonstrate an excellent understanding of Outlook, Excel, Word and audio typing. Experience in updating websites would also be advantageous.

The successful candidate will be articulate, organised, enthusiastic, self-motivated and confident. You will be required to deal with clients both over the phone and face to face. This is an excellent opportunity to be part of an existing professional and friendly team.

In return the company offers an excellent working environment and a competitive salary for this full-time role.

Accounts administrator – Ciel.ltd Ciel is a brand leader in designer ethical fashion, hip, luxurious and special. Shown in Vogue, i-D, Wallpaper Eco Top 10 & The Observer. Winners of the UKFE award nominated for the Observer Ethical award & Observer Woman Best Designer Award.

Add Your Project To The New Wired Sussex Project Board Looking for a fixed term project, freelance gig or temporary contract? Or maybe you’re looking for some help but not a new employee? Either way, the Wired Sussex Project Board is the place to look.

For a limited time only, you can post a project free to the new Wired Sussex Project Board. Current projects include The Royal Pavilion Website Build & Hosting for Brighton and Hove City Council, Logo Design for Vendor Management Global Solutions and a new website for the South East for The Department of health.

Post your project today at www.wiredsussex.com/workproject/

For more information please contact Paul Kendrick on 01273 778333 or paul@kendrickpropertyservices.co.uk

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contents 31 Latest hot list

Moving on up? You’ll find the latest opportunities here

Local restaurants, cafés and bar guide

32 Recipe

8 Social diary

Flippin ‘eck, it’s Gordon’s latest recipe

Juice on the loose

34 Venue directory

9 What Katie did

Never miss a gig with our handy A to Z

Trouble’s calling… on the phone

10 Competitions and crossword Win DVDs and jog that grey matter

11 Celeb city

35 Reviews That was the week that was: a round up of the latest happenings across the city

36 Stage

Oliver Heath is very green

12 Eminemmylou and Dani’s diary

Claire Sweeney and Sue Pollard are ready to Twist and Shout

13

38 Stand-up comedy

‘Vanitas’ by Naomi Foyle and Dani on bucking the system

Cultural confusion ain’t funny

13 News

39 Film interview

Environmental campaigners fly into town to prove a point and your seven-day digest of local news

19 Sport F1 finds ethics when money’s at stake

19 Letters

Director Michael Haneke on the remaking of Funny Games

40 Film All the latest listings previews and reviews in and around the city

42 Kids

Your right to reply

Hats off to high achievers

21 Cover feature

43 Events and books

R and R at Alexandra House Hotel

23 Manic Organic

21

Spring Plant Fair and creative writing

44 Art

The Dome’s organ is ready to play

24 Fashion

Rare photographic exhibition

45 Music

Bag it up with style

Interview with the iconic Low, plus all the previews, reviews and listings

25 Health

48 Latest Chart

Spa moments for your soul

Hits and hoedowns zipping up the hottest chart in the city

26 Maydays Police follow the moon

50 Clubs

27 Bare Cheek Last native Brightonian moves out

27 Stars

Summer of Love kicks off at Audio, plus all the listings, pictures and previews

53 Gay

Scorpio, have a drink – you’ll need it

29 Sunday roast special Scrumptious Sunday lunches

Stonewall success, Will Tells and all the listings and highlights of the week

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58 Latest TV Complete seven-day TV guide and Dani’s gone technicolour crazy

30 Food Andrew is in foxy heaven

01273 818150 Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan Finance Manager Sharon Caple Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Website Manager Paul Burgess Production Editor Victoria Nangle Assistant Editor Zara Friend

Editor Rachel Pegg

Chief Sub Editor Alison Swann

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Sub Editors Joe Curtin Melina Greenfield Tristan Parker

Listings Editor Nick Aldwinckle Staff Writers Matt Chittock Craig Driver Katie Glass Rachel Potter Dani Winch

Advertising Director Lynne Edwards

Photographers Tim Richardson Diana Frangi

Administration Claire Peerless Stefan Reszczynski

Designers Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Faye Perriam Steve Sawyer

Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

45

Welcome We’re all gearing up for a week of utter relaxation here at Latest 7. First we're all dying to try the Utopia Spa at Alexander House Hotel on Turners Hill after hearing all about the luxurious facilities (p21).

We also plan to spend our weekend searching out some of the best Sunday roasts in the city (p29).

There's lots coming up to look forward to – this week I found out about a local charity which has persuaded Neneh Cherry to fly to the UK from her home in Sweden for a fundraising gig at Concorde2 (p13).

Also in news, the chief executive of Sussex Wildlife Trust talks about the recent weird weather and Andrew Kay says goodbye to a much loved friend who died aged just 48 (p14).

Phil Mills examined a worrying new trend for thieves to steal catalytic converters and asked if there’s going to be a hosepipe ban (p17) and the Cheeky Boys got the lowdown on what city residents really think about our lapdancing clubs (p27).

There won't be any of that business at The Parlure, the team bringing the Spiegeltent to Brighton Festival Fringe, who dropped the “Pussy“ part of their name out of respect for the church next to the site. Instead, they’re offering a 24-day programme of cabaret, theatre, dance, music and DJs along with a fabulous bar.

Meanwhile Brighton Festival is planning a spectacular organ extravaganza to take place on Thursday 15 May, for details of the show – which promises sounds as unusual as happy hardcore and black metal played on the Dome’s famous pipe organ – turn to page 23.

The Latest sport boys have Albion tickets to give away (p15), or to win a choice of three new DVDs, see page 10.

Music writer Nick Aldwinckle quizzed Minnesota band Low about their new sound, inspired by politics and their Mormon beliefs. See page 45, where Nick also looks forward to the upcoming Doll and the Kicks gig in aid of the Duke of York’s Picturehouse.

In the film section, read about why Austrian director Michael Haneke chose to remake his hard-hitting, anti-Hollywood violence movie Funny Games (p39).

In Latest Art (p44), Jeff Hemmings looks at an exhibition of contemporary Belgian and Dutch photography.

Tim Richardson dropped into Juice’s tenth birthday party (p8) and Andrew enjoyed a gorgeous meal at The Ginger Fox (p30).

Model Sandra’s still in Nigeria but all our other regulars are here, together with all your local listings, starting on page 33.

Advertising Sales Lucy Kamper Ian Trevett Marie Viviani

Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk

Rachel Pegg, Latest 7 Editor latest 7 7

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LATESTDIARY

latestdiary With Tim Richardson

Juice celebrate Juice 107.2 celebrated their tenth birthday at Concorde 2 on Thursday 3 April, with a buffet and a chocolate fountain to keep the tastebuds busy.

Doug Walker kicked things off, with Sonic Hearts and Passenger rounding off some brilliant sets. Stick It On, as always, proved a huge crowd-pleaser, with guest DJs having their 15 minutes of fame. The Juicy Dance Crew took to the stage for a show-stopping performance of the Freemasons’ ‘Rain Down Love‘ and to top it all off, the song culminated in a big balloon drop with everyone scrambling madly to pop the balloons and reap the rewards inside! To finish things off, Beardy Man took to the stage. How could you fail to be impressed by such a raw talent? 'Beat-boxing champion' alone doesn't do this man justice – beat boxes, he sings (with a beautiful voice) and then he records his voice sample as he goes, loops it and turns it into a beat. Amazing.

Ryan Clarke, Dean Nolan & Jonathon Dearden with Mark Williams (age 4)

Percy and Thomas the Tank Engine

Thomas the Tank Engine (driver) Ryan Clarke, The Fat Controller Dean Nolan & Percy (driver) Jonathon Dearden

Thomas comes to town Thomas & Friends Live! On Stage steamed into Brighton to promote the show on Wednesday 2 April. The Fat Controller started a live race between Thomas the Tank Engine and his friend Percy along Brighton seafront, whilst being cheered on by dozens of children that lined the promenade. Thomas & Friends Live! On Stage includes new railwaythemed songs, as well as much loved classic sing-a-longs as ‘Roll Call’ and ‘Good Morning’. The show is currently touring across the country, stopping in 20 British cities in a world-class production.

Sarah Powell (Juice) and friend

Match fit Guy Lloyd - Juice

Riding the Bucking Bronco

Loz Siroto - The Hobgoblin, Emma Burton - Juice

On Tuesday 1 April, at PCC Sports Centre in Portslade, Mark Harrington from Harrington Property sponsored a mini-football tournament where seven different schools from Brighton and Hove were involved. Children of all ages were involved in the matches, played on both astroturf and grass pitches. Kerry Mayo was hoping to attend to give away prizes but was unable to attend.

Boutique & Burlesque Theatre, Vicky Nangle - Latest Homes

Ruth Ratner, Jeff Hemmings - Latest 7

Juice Dance Troop 8 latest 7

Lawrence Taylor, Tina Taylor, Ollie Taylor - Concorde2

Majid Bensliman - The Blue Man, Nick Harvey - The Harvey Marketing Company, Steve Constable - Juice

Mark Seltzer Howlett Clarke Solicitors, Sam Harrington-Lowe Pretty Clever Events and PR, celebrating their new working relationship

Coaches and players from the winning teams.

If you have an event you would like featured please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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KATIE’SCOLUMN

What Katie did Katie finds herself looking for tea and sympathy... and a good lawyer

I’ll see you in court The tea keeps on coming. In waves. In pints. In mugs and paper cups.

In those horrible little polystyrene things you can sink your teeth into.

Earl Grey, Breakfast, Chai – as long as it's hot and as long as it’s caffeinated. We drink so much tea in the office we get through it in lakes. It’s always just a battle between drinking enough of the stuff to stay awake and finding the time to get away from the desk to buy it.

“Is Chai caffeinated?” I ask T, as I cane my third cup.

“No”, he says as he snaps his head back to his keyboard, and starts typing again. Click, click, clicky-click – like a robot on an old fashioned Underwood typewriter.

“Why am I drinking it then?“ I mutter, looking into the pile of chaos that is my desk. I flip over a few pages of the pad, move some wads of paper, and pick through the rubble – trying to find the story I’m supposed to be working on. Just then the phone goes.

“Hello, um...“ Where am I working this week? Oh yes, “....blah, blah, blah’s column on The Daily Gazette.”

“I’m calling about Peaches Geldof”, they start and by the time they’ve finished I’ve got my first lawsuit on my hands.

The grande dame of gossip columnists Nigel Dempster may have claimed: “Writs are the Oscars of our profession”, but with my first there at the end of the phone it didn’t seem quite so glamorous.

“The game with gossip means you’re always on the edge of litigation and libel“ The man screaming down the phone at me isn’t happy about what I wrote last week about Peaches (was that the piece that started: ‘Boomtown Brat’?). There’s hell to answer and a price to pay – and it’s coming out of my pay cheque.

Gossip calls for the salacious, but it’s a fine line. I always make sure my stories are accurate. I grill my sources and check my quotes. I tell people I'm a journalist – even when it would be easier not to – and stay within the laws that the PCC sets.

I try and tone down my copy even when the editor’s looking for action, and I try not to be evil. But the name of the game with gossip means you’re always on the edge of litigation and libel.

It’s a hard reality that some of the best stories you get are the ones

you can’t print – the threesomes, the suicide attempts, the drug taking, the sex in the back toilet of a club, and the throwing up in cubicles – so all too often I’m asking my sources for less detail rather than more.

But just as I’m feeling confident ruling over my own little gossip mill, someone puts the boot in and reminds me of the consequences.

As the voice on the end of the phone reaches screeching pitch and I’m wondering what I’ll be wearing for my date in the high court, the ‘much more experienced than me‘ journalist on the desk to my left finally takes pity on me.

“Pass it over”, she grins, nodding at the phone and I gratefully transfer the call.

G is sweet, she’s charming, she’s cool, confident, manipulative and convincing. She’s everything a good journalist should be. And she does the job. Ten minutes later the call is done, the action is dropped and the panic state is over.

“He’s not going to sue”, she informs me, then adds with a grin, “go and do what you're good for – get the teas in.”

Comments, queries and general chitchat can be sent to: letters@thelatest.co.uk

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COMPETITIONS

IN IT TO WIN IT

XWORD

latestcrossword

solutions on page 56

Your chance to win fantastic DVD prizes!

The Owl Service – DVD Network is set to release The Owl Service, the definitive adaptation of Alan Garner’s awardwinning novel on DVD for the first time on 28 April and we have two copies to give away.

All eight episodes will be available complete and uncut in this two-disc set. This was the first full-scripted programme made in colour

by Granada Television.

Shot in the Welsh valleys almost entirely on location in the summer of 1969, The Owl Service perfectly combines history, myth, mystery and adventure surrounding a tense set of human relationships. This drama raised the bar for what the viewing public could expect of a teenage drama. It delved into the supernatural and other topical themes such as class division, with bold direction from Peter Plummer and excellent performances from a cast of largely unknown actors.

To be in with a chance of winning one of two copies of this classic series on DVD, tell us: This show was shot in the summer of which year? See below for entry details.

Department S – DVD

Cryptic 139

The complete special edition series of Department S arrives on DVD next Monday 21 April and we have two copies to give away to lucky readers. Eight discs contain all 28 episodes, collected on DVD for the first time.

A popular espionage series with a paranormal twist, Department S is an elite branch of Interpol which specialises in solving the seemingly unsolvable. Along with fellow detectives, straight-laced action man Stewart Sullivan (Joel Fabiani – Dynasty) and glamorous computer expert Rosemary Nichols (Annabelle Hurst – The Persuaders), crime writer Jason King attempts to unravel bizarre and inexplicable mysteries which have left other police baffled.

To be in with a chance of winning one of two copies of this classic series on DVD, tell us: Which popular show did Joel Fabiani star in? See below for entry details.

ACROSS

9DOWN

ACROSS

5 Travel to island resort, by the sound of it (4) 7 Make an arrangement with cold dessert (6-4) 8 Country supporting headless beast (4) 10 United in having to bring the girl (8) 11 Phone system in which mineral is reserved (6) 12 Imagine one leaving – it’s a conundrum (6) 14 Frank detectives also get taken in (6) 16 Break fast with morning of mourning (6) 17 Inert beast attracts insect from the north (8) 19 Laid bare by shifting sand (4) 21 Planning a public image (10) 22 The only time to give short measure (4)

1 Object of the game or dance (4) 2 Prisoner of French Communist reduced to dust (8) 3 Revised diet made up with portion of Edam (6) 4 Baby horse breaking wind in flock of birds (6) 5 Tranquillity among others (4) 6 Proven to be resolute (10) 9 Crazy tart fighting for allurement (10) 13 Exemption arranged for one tiny mum (8) 15 Churchman taking in business from another churchman (6) 16 Composition requiring one component (6) 18 Start getting mammal to open wide (4) 20 Before climbing the mountain (4)

5 Article (4) 7 Perversion (10) 8 Twirl (4) 10 Boss (8) 11 Find (6) 12 Number (6) 14 Guard (6) 16 Ramble (6) 17 Ribbon (8) 19 Hurry (4) 21 Beauty (10) 22 Burden (4).

Chromophobia – DVD Penelope Cruz and Ralph Fiennes star in this darkly comedic drama, directed and written by Martha Fiennes. Chromophobia shows that every family has its secrets and tries to hold them hidden within domestic walls. A superb ensemble cast portrays a collection of characters that find themselves in situations which threaten their stable place in a society where privilege, birth and beauty are no longer powerful enough to protect the fortunate few.

Though this is a story about a bourgeois family slowly coming apart at the seams in London, it is equally as relevant in Los Angeles, New York, Paris or Tokyo. Chromophobia shines a torch into the closets and bedrooms of those who ought to know better and rattles the foundations of affluent, trendy London society.

To be in with a chance of winning one of three copies of this new DVD, tell us: Who directs this new film Chromophobia? See below for entry details.

Entrants must be aged 15 or over.

Quick 139

DOWN 1 Poems (4) 2 Flag (8) 3 Turn to ice (6) 4 Easy (6) 5 Preposition (4) 6 Useless (10) 9 Security (10) 13 Death of part of body (8) 15 Take away (6) 16 Sing in quavering way (6) 18 Smooth fish (4) 20 Stockings (4).

To advertise call our sales team on 01273 818150

Collection/delivery ordering service for

IKEA goods Tell us what you want, and we’ll deliver it. Simple as that.

No traffic. No queues. No rows. No hassle.

FEARLESS MIKE 01273 711166 As seen on TV

To be in with a chance of winning, email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the title of the prize you wish to win in the subject box. Leave your answer to the question in the body of the email, along with your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: Tuesday 29 April 2008.

admin@fearlessmike.com

www.fearlessmike.com

Ask about our flatpack assembly service We are an independent limited company and not part of the Ikea group

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AROUNDTOWN

Celebcity with Jo Brooks

Green day Changing Rooms interior designer Oliver Heath supports new Climate Change Ambassadors Scheme Celebrity interior designer and Brighton resident Oliver Heath this week showed his support for Brighton’s newest wave of eco-warriors at the Climate Change Ambassadors Scheme Awards, organised by the Brighton and Hove City Council’s Sustainability Team. Children from schools across Brighton and Hove were recognised for their support of climate change issues – well done to all those who took part!

sponsored by

Here’s hoping all the Brightonians out there look good naked…

My spies tell me style guru Gok Wan was in Brighton last week filming his hit TV show, How To Look Good Naked. Gok, who has changed the lives of many lucky viewers, was in town to transform a very brave local. The new series requires participants to go completely starkers at the end of the show, which I’m sure will have been no problem for our local Gokkette as she was spotted having a pampering at the Treatment Rooms.

Pavilion Gardens Week celebrated I caught up with the lovely Andy Sturgeon this week. Andy is one of the UK’s leading garden designers and he took time out from his international design practice to pay a visit to the Royal Pavilion to celebrate the launch of their inaugural Gardens Week in May. Andy is currently dividing his time between preparations for his Cancer Research-sponsored garden at the Chelsea Flower Show and work on a new roof garden at Great Ormond Street Hospital, which includes a memorial to the victims of the July 7 London bombings.

Super, smashing, great Of all the comedians appearing in the Brighton Festival and Festival Fringe this year, one seems to be proving particularly popular! Star of 80’s TV hit Bullseye, Mr ‘Let’s have a look at what you could’ve won’ himself, Jim Bowen, is appearing for one night only in the Udderbelly on 4 May. Listen out for him this week on Juice FM with Guy and Andrea. Altogether now: “180!”

Welcome back Kathryn Star of 60 Minute Makeover, Kathryn Rayward, popped in to the office for a cup of tea and a chat this week. Kathryn, who lives in France, was back in Brighton scouting out new houses to make over for the ITV show. So if you return home to see a skip with all your furniture in it outside your house you may well have been made over!

You can hear me every Thursday from 9am on the Juice FM Breakfast Show with Guy and Andrea.

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com

To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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RHYME

Eminemmylou Hi, I’m Eminemmylou, throwin’ lyrics at you. This week Naomi Foyle Vanitas for Paul van Gelder The cherry red curtain rod is missing a knob, your wardrobe pours from a drawer.

Abandoned self-portraits face up to the wall, damp flowers soften the air, while high on a shelf a dead pigeon rests, eyeless, smothered in dust.

If I had brushes I’d forge an Old Master, scrape fruit in the heart of the scene: between the bare sheets and your lacquered heat my throat is a lean nectarine.

Around the smeared edges of our kisses and whispers skin petals settle like the sag in a mattress, velvet dregs in a still singing glass.

Naomi Foyle holds an MA in Creative Writing from Goldsmiths College, London.

Her poetry has been published in journals including Ambit, The London Magazine, Poetry Ireland Review and PN Review. Her first collection The Night Pavilion is due from Waterloo Press in 2008. She works closely with THE SOUTH, the Brighton writers’ organisation, who hold writing workshops, festivals and competitions in the region, as well as running Poetry South, the monthly night of poetry at the Joogleberry. For more information about other of THE SOUTH’s activities see: www.thesouth.org.uk

Send rhymes and a pic to: eminemmylou@thelatest.co.uk

EMOTIONS

Dani’s diary Dani turns a corner and thinks things are looking up when the right people are in your life Someone told me that I buck against the system too much and that, apparently, when they were my age they did the same. And then offer advice. Mainly, stop it because you will get nowhere.The ability to stop and the realisation why is supposed to hit you when you get to a certain age, or perhaps when you become tired of kicking.

I think the realisation hits you only when you haven’t won even the smallest battle for a while. Even if it’s a battle no one else knows you are fighting and if the outcome gives you nothing more than a small and private sense of satisfaction. It doesn’t matter how big or small, just as long as it’s a win. Just as long as it’s one to you, nil to the world.

That’s what bucking is all about.

It’s funny because I have one person telling me to stop bucking and another telling to kick harder. But the only question I want answered is – in what direction?

Flailing about like a fish in a shallow puddle won’t get me anyhere but laying still until the water dries out won’t do much good either. I need to work out a compromise. I need to find out how to get the best of both worlds. I, in a nut shell, need to work out how to be a fish out of water.

Which is bizarre seeing as I have never been one before, mainly because I’m human.

“I have one person telling me to stop bucking and another telling to kick harder“ It’s not really got anything to do with fitting in, as I have fully accepted that I won’t truly fit in anywhere other my own little world. I have come to love the fact that I will never feel totally satisfied with anything I have.

I will always want to look different, think different, speak different, feel different but I know I will always be just little old me, and little old me can make some noise when she wants to. (I’m a little unsure of why I am referring to myself in the third person but it seems to fit the topic).

On the other hand, while one person is telling be to buck less, another is telling me to kick more. I love how people seem to notice weak spots within me, or less confident areas of my personality, and they take it upon themselves to help me fix it. These people are like my little visible guardian angels. We are secretly quite alike and therefore they can see when I am flapping like that fish in the puddle and they pour a little more water on and let me swim. Because, all in all, they know I do not need to be taken under their wings. They know that in actual fact I need to be taught how to fly.

It’s nice to have, for the first time in a while, people who see me for who I am – not just what I look like, sound like or have been. This is what it’s all about isn’t it? Meeting people who want to help you out, even though they may never gain anything from it themselves. These people who ruffle your feathers to get you kicking again.

For comments and chit chat email letters@thelatest.co.uk 12,000 students attend the University of Sussex.

The only way to reach these potential clients is through the University of Sussex Students’ Union.

The badger is the Student Union’s tabloid newspaper, published every Thursday and read by 84% of students*.

The pulse, our termly magazine, has been awarded the best UK Student Magazine twice by The Guardian and Independent newspapers.

To advertise in either publication, phone the USSU marketing team on 01273 678151 or email ussu-marketing@sussex.ac.uk * Student Lifestyle Questionnaire 2002

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On the anniversary of the Rwandan genocide, Rachel Pegg met a Brighton charity working to help survivers

Friends in need It remains one of the worst massacres in history.

Fourteen years ago a million people were killed in 100 days. Last week the deaths were commemorated by a Brighton charity which works with young people coping with the aftermath of the genocide in Rwanda.

Rwandan Youth Information Community Organisation (rYico), of Community Base in Queens Road, was founded by Vivenie Niragira, who lost many members of her family in the killings. rYico provides accommodation and education for young people at its Centre Marembo and is raising money for a permanent building. A fundraising concert with Neneh Cherry will take place at Concorde2 on 1 May. The money will help some of the million young people in the country who were orphaned as a direct result of the genocide, many of whom have been living on the street.

Miss Niragira said: “If young people didn't participate in genocide, there wouldn't be genocide. We provide education, training and information so they can really contribute to the future and the prospects of the country.“ Those killed in 1994 were mainly Tutsi or moderate Hutu. rYico teaches the next generation to put aside tribal differences and create a united Rwanda. It also promotes messages about Rwanda's history overseas.

Miss Niragira said: “Our work with rYico is to get over another side, to inform that which you wouldn't get in the mainstream.

Our work is very rewarding and very unique. We try to raise awareness and funds to help the people in Rwanda to help change the situation. The case of genocide can be partly connected to poverty. We really put our efforts into young people to teach them the right things and make them inspired and give them education and training.

“This makes it easier for them to see the real world and choose right from wrong.“Miss Niragira, 32, grew up in Burundi. Her parents left Rwanda in 1959 after 20,000 Tutsis were killed. Many of her relatives, including her cousins were killed in the 1994 genocide. There were also massacres in Burundi where her mother and brother were killed. Afterwards, she returned to her homeland then came to England as a refugee in 1995.

She founded rYico in 2004. Last week rYico screened 100 Days, a film about the genocide – made on a £10,000 budget. It was produced

by Eric Kabera and made with Rwandan survivors of the massacre just two years after it happened. Miss Niragira said the charity wanted people to hear about the history from Rwandan people rather than watching films such as Hotel Rwanda, which was made by foreigners.

“We want to have a balance. Rwandan people are voiceless when it comes to their own history. We have a way of telling a story that is different from a European perspective. The characters you see exist in real life.“ One of the many shocking things about the genocide was that people who had lived in harmony turned against each other incredibly quickly.

“Neighbours killed neighbours,“ Miss Niragira explained. “Friends killed friends. It is something that still today we don't really understand. It makes us think we are all capable to do things sometimes we don't mean to do. When you go to Rwanda, you can see the same places, the same people, smiling. You think, it isn't the same people who did these things. People who did the killing and people who survived, everybody is trying to build their nation.

“In Brighton we do this commemoration every year to try to tell people what happened in Rwanda because things like that keep

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“Neighbours killed neighbours. Friends killed friends”

happening and people ask why we haven't learned from our past history. People work hard, there are people working on conflict resolution and on human rights, trying to improve our world, yet awful things keep happening.“ Until the last century, Rwanda's three ethnic groups, Hutu, Tutsi and Twa, lived together side by side. They were segregated by Belgian colonialists in 1916 who elevated the status of Tutsi, giving them better jobs, and insisted everyone carried identity cards specifying their tribe.

Miss Niragira said: “For a century they were living together side by side. Many intermarriages took place between these three groups. Before colonial times the structure of what we call now ethnic groups was more social rather than ethnic. It was possible to move from Hutu to Tutsi.

“Historically there were three groups and all had jobs there. The tension between Hutu and Tutsi grow during the colonial period. The divide and rule policy brought the whole division. In 1959 there was the first fighting, Hutu took machetes and started killing Tutsi. There was this hatred and tension. In 1994 it exploded with other issues that were around at the time."

100 Days is set in Kibuye, where nine in ten Tutsi were killed and seventy per cent of women who survived were raped. Those who were raped were left to die slowly because they were infected with HIV. Many who carried out the killings escaped abroad and, while some have been brought to justice, others are in hiding. Despite overwhelming evidence, some commentators today deny genocide took place. rYico works to promote the truth as well as to help those dealing with the aftermath.

To find out more or to borrow 100 Days or another Rwandan film, contact rYico at info@ryico.org call 01273 234836 or visit www.ryico.org Mayday Mayhem with Neneh Cherry, Liberator DJs, Tofu Love Frogs, The Amigos and Los Albertos takes place at Concorde2 on Thursday 1 May. The venue has been donated free of charge and performers are being paid only expenses. For tickets at £12 each call 01273 673311 or visit seetickets.com or concorde2.co.uk latest 7 13

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7 days of headlines

Kemp Town MP Des Turner caused controversy by calling for drugs to be decriminalised. Dr Turner said it would be better for the police to be able to concentrate on catching dealers rather than users and addicts.

He told Latest 7 at least 50 per cent of “acquisition crime”, ie theft or fraud, is drug related. He said: “In Brighton and Hove we have very high levels of drug related crime in terms of shop lifting. We are top of the league for drugs deaths. I know how frequently I hear people complaining, saying ‘someone in my building is dealing drugs’. They probably are.”

New leader The Conservative group on Brighton and Hove City Council elected a new leader. Mary Mears beat Geoffrey Theobald in an extremely close battle – thought to have been decided by just one or two votes.

Councillor Mears, whose family have had a fruit and vegetable business at the Open Market for 50 years, is expected to take over as leader of the city council next month. The council will decide its next leader at its annual general meeting on Thursday 15 May. The ruling Conservative group need to persuade just one other councillor to support their choice in order to have her elected.

The council will then move over to a leader and cabinet system with greater control, making Mary the most powerful councillor in the city's history. Coun Mears, who chairs the city's housing committee, said: “I was absolutely delighted and overwhelmed. It is a great honour.“ She said since last year's local elections, the Tory administration has already started to put some of its priorities into practice. “I want to continue with these, focusing on the economy, which is vital for the city, law and order. One thing I am really keen to do because I am born and bred in the city, is to have a real civic pride. I am so proud to live here.“ She said there would be a place for Coun Theobald in the cabinet but departing leader Brian Oxley, who stood down after nine months in charge of the city, did not want to be in the cabinet because he wanted to pursue other interests. Coun Theobald said: “I wish Mary good luck.“

Pole dancing classes were cancelled after a five-week run at the King Alfred Centre in Hove.

Brighton and Hove City Council told the course leaders it had decided the classes – which took place fully clothed – had a “seedy image” and were not appropriate for a city leisure centre. The course – run by Pole Dancing Passion – was attended by both men and women including teenage girls as young as 13.

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This Llama couldn’t resist the temptation when staff and children at Drusillas Zoo at Alfriston near Polegate used a carrot for their snowman’s nose.

Diamond, polished off the treat in no time as more than six inches of snow fell over the county.

Snowball fights broke out on Brighton beach, where last year people were sunbathing.

The Royal Pavilion looked sugar-coated while spring flowers fought the extra weight to stay upright. It was unusual weather but the Met Office said it was not that unusual. A spokesman said: “Northerly arctic winds are to be expected at this time of year.”

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Tribute to teacher

A man who beat his dog around the head with a hammer because he wouldn't eat his dinner was jailed for three months.

Paul Jerrard Townsley, of Lodsworth Close, Whitehawk, admitted causing unnecessary suffering to Bailey, a Staffordshire bull terrier. Brighton Magistrates were told Townsley, 41, was seen on the balcony of his flat holding Bailey by his throat and hitting his head with a hammer four times.

The attack was witnessed by an off-duty police officer and Townsley was arrested. He refused to talk to the RSPCA but later said he attacked the dog because it wouldn't eat. RSPCA Inspector Tony Pritchard said: “This dog was subjected to an horrific attack and a prison sentence and lifetime ban was the right sentence.“ Bailey was sent to RSPCA Patcham to find him a new home.

Spring snow

For a man so involved in work he had the ability to pull himself away and enjoy life to the full. At parties he was the life and soul, drink in one hand and cigarette in the other; equally enjoying a heated debate or a laugh over a bit of gossip.

When he discovered that he was unwell he approached it with the same vigour. A friend commented: “He had moments of euphoria where he talked of seeing death as an adventure and that now he was going to ‘do death`.“ His colleagues at City College added: “Actively engaged in the artistic community at a local, national and international level Greg was a very successful artist in his own right. He had a joyful disregard of paperwork and was still not able to fill in a register correctly, even after fifteen years. Yet he held an enviable ability to inspire students to achieve way beyond their expected potential. A lad from Falmer school, when applying for a place on the college’s Art and Design course said: “The only reason I’m here is because of a bloke called Greg who came to our school. I’ve always enjoyed my art, but I didn’t think you could do it as a career. I was so excited by the things he talked about and the things he got us to do that I stopped wanting to be a footballer and had the confidence to go into a career in art.“ Greg died peacefully on Tuesday 1 April, at just after eight in the evening, a fitting time to be going out and on a very appropriate day of the year – a joke he would have enjoyed.

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City College art teacher Greg Daville died at 48 after suffering from cancer. His friend Andrew Kay paid tribute to him in this obituary: Artist, poet, philosopher and embracer of life in all its forms, Greg was a massively productive creative force. His energy divided between his great passions, creating, sharing his love of creating with students, debate, drinking and women.

Greg studied art at Loughborough, Coventry, The Royal College of Art and Sussex University. He was one of the most extraordinary creative minds that I ever met. Undaunted by challenge he would constantly reinvent himself as an artist. His CV, is crammed with a catalogue of his achievements.

He was the most effective art publicist I have known, brilliant at informing the world of what he was doing next. And we never knew what that might be, one minute paint on paper, the next a room full of poems.

He listed his disciplines as ‘Digital photography, mixed media and text‘.

Park life Children unveiled new mosaics as part of a transformation of Tarner Park, Brighton.

Young people from Carlton Hill School, Tarner after school club, Millwood Centre youth club, the Creative Kids group and Brighton Unemployed Centre Families Project helped create the artwork as part of work by Brighton and Hove City Council and residents to give a new look to the park.

In January the council cleaned the park and surrounding area, blitzing graffiti from walls, play equipment and trees. Now activities such as sports, play, conservation, gardening and art are encouraging people to enjoy the park again.

The youngsters worked with artist Karen Wydler to come up with five different designs. The mosaics were made from bottle tops, tiles and other recycled materials brought by the children. Gwyn Chanlewis of the Friends of Tarner Park, said: “This is a really exciting time for all those involved with Tarner Park.”

If you would like to comment on these stories please email news@thelatest.co.uk

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Wildlife warrior Snow in April? Rachel Pegg speaks to Sussex Wildlife Trust chief executive Dr Tony Whitbread on facing up to climate change What does the Sussex Wildlife Trust do?

We are a wildlife and conservation charity. I INTERVIEW suppose you can divide what we do into two: nature conservation on the one hand and education, working with people on the other.

On the conservation side, we have 32 nature reserves covering 3,500 acres and all sorts of habitats with some of the best areas in the county, most of them open to the public. Part of the conservation work is informing people and trying to get people in Sussex to consider conservation. On the education side we run courses with schools, adult education and wildlife events. We have many education projects we are very proud of – our forest schools projects, for example, where we teach Ray Mears type skills to encourage children who maybe aren’t doing so well at school. We also work in partnership with other organisations such as in our biodiversity record centre, getting information on wildlife together.

environmental criteria in eco-towns? We should be building to this quality wherever development is planned, not just in eco-towns.

Environmental damage is happening. We need to be responding now.

The Government wants to build three million homes in England in the next 20 years. Eco towns would only cover 100,000 to 200,000.

What about the rest? We do have concerns but we will be working where we can to make sure they're as good as they can be.

What is your background?

I have been here for 20 years. My background is conservation – a lot of chief executives in wildlife trusts come up through management routes but I originally worked for the Nature Conservancy Council, now Natural England, as a woodland specialist. I joined the trust as conservation officer. Two years ago I became chief executive.

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How is climate change affecting wildlife?

Climate change is a major issue for all sorts of reasons – there are several issues. There is virtually a complete scientific consensus that climate change is happening and the cause is human activity. We have to do something about our greenhouse gas emissions. The issue for wildlife is twofold: firstly the changing conditions will affect wildlife directly, secondly – and perhaps more important – is how the human response to climate change might

“Spring is about three weeks earlier in comparison to 20 years ago”

What's wrong with the government’s proposals to make places like Ford, in West Sussex, ‘eco towns‘?

We are too small to respond to lots of planning applications so we work at a strategic level with planning and development to make sure developers have access to good biodiversity information. We oppose high levels of development and work with local authorities to make sure what does get built is done to a good standard and supportive of nature conservation rather than damaging.

Eco towns sound like a good idea, having carbon neutral development, but it seems to have come rather sideways. I have a worry that this is a way by which we get even more development in the county by calling it something else. Furthermore why should there just be development to these high

What can people do to protect wildlife?

Demand a healthy, wildlife rich environment. It is their right and they require it above all things in order to survive. You can do things in your own garden, such as managing it in a way more sensitive to wildlife.

Individuals can also have an effect via their purchasing power, buying agricultural products or wood fuel grown in Sussex. If you buy charcoal from abroad, often it comes from rainforests rather than sustainably managed Sussex woods. If you buy Sussex lamb, you are supporting the land being grazed here.

What rare species thrive in Sussex?

Sussex is a very rich and diverse county. It really is crammed with high quality habitats.

The Round-headed Rampion is common in Sussex but pretty rare elsewhere now. One of its common names is the Pride of Sussex for this reason. Another example is the field cricket. The only site in Britain is in Sussex.

Sussex is also good for bats. One of our nature reserves, Ebernoe Common, has almost every species of bat you can get in this part of the country – 13 out of 16. Doormice are also pretty uncommon in other parts of the country whereas it is relatively common here, probably because Sussex is one of the most wooded counties in Britain.

Some of our woodland has probably been here since the Ice Age. We also have good expanses of downland grassland and marshland. It is this habitat quality and diversity that makes the county so rich in wildlife.

How much money do you need to raise a year and where does it come from?

We have a turnover of over £2million a year, over 70 staff and 30,000 members including children in Sussex. That is pretty big and needs a lot of support. We are extremely lucky with our membership, which is growing pretty steadily. We also rely on legacies, government grants, support from the heritage lottery fund and some support from business. We are always in need of money.

Pictures by Tim Richardson

Woods Mill nature reserve, Sussex Wildlife Trust’s headquarters

affect wildlife. We might see agricultural intensification, and, for example, more biomass – growing crops for fuel.

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If you would like to comment on this story please email news@thelatest.co.uk

Is the crazy weather we've been having down to climate change?

No one weather event says whether or not we have got climate change. It could just be natural variation. That is most likely at the moment. Having said that, you have to look at the long-term trends. Spring is generally getting earlier – about three weeks earlier in comparison to 20 years ago.

One likely effect of climate change is unpredictability. We might get more wind storms, more torrential downpours and generally more extreme events as a result of more heat energy in the weather system.

Long-term, this could be very damaging to our environment, including the wildlife and people in it, so much of our nature conservation effort now is in trying to develop an environment that is better able to adapt to the likely changes in weather as a result of climate change. latest 7 15

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LATESTNEWS Photo: Sam Crawley

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Bike for attendance

Environment protest

Brighton Patsy’s EastEnders return

Environmental campaigners brought a 20-foot inflatable plane to the Pavilion Gardens to protest about climate change. The demonstration was organised by groups including Friends of the Earth, World Development Movement and Greenpeace.

It was held on a national day of lobbying for the government to include all sources of carbon dioxide emissions in its Climate Change Bill, including emissions from international aviation and shipping. Kemp Town MP Des Turner and Hove and Portslade MP Celia Barlow attended and were given letters calling for them to insist in Parliament that amendments are made.

Stephanie Lam of WDM said: “Aviation is the fastest-growing cause of CO2 emissions. Gordon Brown and the government are wilfully ignoring the devastating impact this will have on lives around the globe by excluding it from the bill.

“The UK is partly responsible for the worldwide destruction already being caused by global warming.

We have to lead the way in preventing runaway climate change and the millions of deaths this will entail.

“We need all our MPs to vote in favour of the amendments, or any legislation will be no more effective than a piece of blank paper.”

Find out more at www.stopclimatechaos.org.

EastEnders star Patsy Palmer was pictured by a Latest 7 photographer buying gifts from a guitar shop while out with her children in her home city of Brighton and Hove. Patsy’s return to the soap helped boost BBC’s ratings to 10million viewers – not bad for someone with a love-hate relationship with the show.

In an interview with this magazine a year ago, she said the storylines since she ended her six-year stint as Bianca in 1999 had been “rubbish”.

And she on more than one occasion said she’d never contemplate a return although she did add the proviso: “Never say never”.

Her career was put on hold while she raised three children with her taxi driver husband Richard Merkell in Brighton, although she briefly flashed back into the limelight when she reached the last five with Anton Du Beke in BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing in 2005.

One reason she was reluctant to return was she had been bugged by her catchphrase ‘Rickaaay’ since she left. But now she and Ricky (Sid Owen) live near each other in Brighton she has an answer to fans who stop her and ask, “Where’s Rickaaay?” She can now reply with impunity: “He’s just down the road.”

Local produce PR The managing director of Brighton and Hove Food and Drink Festival has launched a new public relations firm.

Paula Seager has set up Natural PR Limited.

Paula, who has headed up the commercial growth of Priory PR and Events over the past seven years, also created the Sussex Food and Drinks Awards, working with A Taste of Sussex, to celebrate the best producers in the county and the outlets which support them.

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Bandstand restoration latest Restoration of the historic Brighton and Hove seafront bandstand has moved a step closer. Architects DRP, of Brighton, have submitted a planning application on behalf of the city council to restore the Grade II listed building back to its former glory.

The application includes change of use of the ground floor and basement from public toilets and storage to a restaurant or café. The top part of the bandstand will be restored to stage concerts and other events and the adjoining area improved and enhanced.

The work will be funded by the city council and is expected to cost around £850,000. Income will be generated by renting out the restaurant premises.

Environment councillor Geoffrey Theobald said: “The bandstand is of historic and cultural importance to our city and much loved by our residents, so we are looking forward to returning this ‘jewel in the seafront crown’ back to its former glory.” If the planning application is approved, work could start later this summer and should be completed early next year.

A seven-year-old girl was given a free bicycle for turning up to school every day for a month. Seanna Reid Minott was entered in a prize draw with other pupils who managed 100 per cent attendance in March, at Carlton Hill Primary School in Sussex Street, Brighton.

She is pictured with head teacher Louise Willard and Rob Huddleston from Action Bikes, who donated the prize. During the month the competition was running, the number of pupils with perfect attendance went up by more than 50 per cent compared to the same period last year.

The project was organised by the city council’s education welfare team, which will run a similar scheme with seven secondary schools in the first half of the summer term.

Police reward Residents think so much of their local police officers they nominated them for an award.

The Hollingdean Neighbourhood Renewal Programme, the largest scheme of its kind in the city, involved a team of staff and partners working to improve the community. To highlight programme achievements, the Hollingdean Community Partnership was asked to nominate the most outstanding service provider – and it chose the police for the “constant support”.

Local neighbourhood manager Sam Warren said: “Over the last seven years, the partnership working with the police has been wide and varied. We had the first Hollingdean specific police constable in 2003, complete with motorbike and then the first dedicated Police Community Support Officer, of which we now have two mainstreamed PCSO’s who are both based at our Hollingdean Community Centre.

“This is fantastic as local residents have direct access to the police to deal with a range of both personal and community issues.

“Having the police based within our teams has also brought about measurable impact.”

The Partnership thanked Inspector Steve Curry, Sergeant Rob Leet and PCSOs Anne Fosbury and Lorraine Pickett for their “on-going dedication and support”. A plaque was presented by the Leader of the Council Brain Oxley to Inspector Steve Curry in recognition of the outstanding partnership work in Hollingdean.

If you would like to comment on these stories please email news@thelatest.co.uk

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LATESTNEWS Phil Mills reports on the rapid rise in the theft of catalytic convertors and the dropping of the hosepipe ban – for now

“Thieves are targeting transit size vans because the catalytic converters are easily reached underneath. They are also attacking sites with fleets of vehicles so that they can steal a number of converters at a time.”

Entire exhaust systems and catalytic converters were stolen from nine Mercedes Sprinter vans parked in a FedEx compound in Hove.

Elsewhere in Sussex, thefts have been reported in Newhaven, Peacehaven, Burgess Hill, East Grinstead, Lewes, Uckfield, Hastings and Brighton and Hove.

Precious metal thieves The rising price of metals is encouraging thieves to turn to an unusual target in Sussex – catalytic converters. One metal used inside the pollutionfighting device, platinum, is now trading at £1,000 an ounce – twice the price of gold.

Converters are being sold on the black market and the crime spree is sweeping through Brighton and Hove, as well as both nationally and internationally. More than 30 vehicles were targeted in Sussex alone in recent weeks, the latest was a minibus belonging to Woodingdean Youth Centre.

Sergeant Martin Drabble said: “Thieves have reached a new low by targeting what is obviously a much-used and much-needed vehicle. It has cost the charity £500 to get the bus repaired – money which the organisation cannot really afford.”

In just one night, thieves stole converters from six Ford Transit vans in Cuckmere Way, Fernhurst Close, Braeside Avenue, Mayfield Crescent, Loder Road and Valley Drive in Brighton. Sgt Drabble said: “These parts are of high value either as scrap metal or for resale.

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Police forces round Britain and abroad are reporting similar thefts. Surrey Police have had more than 40 reported. On just one night last week, eight U-Haul trucks at one rental dealership in Plymouth, Massachusetts, had their catalytic converters stolen.

“In just one night, thieves stole converters from six Ford Transit vans“ The converters change harmful exhaust gases like cardon monoxide into less harmful ones like carbon dioxide. The prize for thieves is the small honeycomb of precious metals in the heart of the converter that serves as the catalyst for the chemical reactions.

Sgt Drabble urged owners to step-up security: “Don’t assume that if someone is seen working under a vehicle that it’s legitimate.

It takes some time and effort to cut an exhaust box from a vehicle, so be vigilant.”

Owners are being encouraged to mark their catalytic converters and other valuable property with their name and contact details so stolen items can be returned if they are recovered.

Sgt Drabble urged anyone with information about the thefts or black market sales to contact Sussex Police on 0845 60 70 999 or Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.

Lift on hose ban?

Heavy rain and snow this winter means there’s little chance of hose pipe bans being imposed in Brighton and Hove this summer.

That’s Southern Water’s latest forecast – but it comes with provisos including a new appeal to save water.

Reservoirs like Bewl Water (pictured) are 90 per cent full and downland chalk reserves have been topped up.

A spokeswoman said: “This year ground water supplies in the Brighton and Hove are area are at average levels for this time of

year, therefore we do not anticipate having to put a hose pipe ban in place over the summer.

“However, we will keep the water resource situation under constant review over the upcoming months.

Meanwhile, we would like to remind our customers to enjoy water, but not waste it.

“Last summer, our customers across the region did a marvellous job and saved enough water to supply a town the size of Brighton and Hove.

“Even though we have more water this year compared to this time last

year, we hope people remember that water is a precious resource and make using water wisely a habit.”

Meanwhile, Southern Water is consulting with customers, organisations and regulators about a 25-year water resource plan.

At the heart of the plan is the proposal for universal metering across the region, which, Southern Water says, “will help customers pay fairly for their water.”

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New support for crash heroes

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An emergency team which frees casualties from road crashes has received a boost from a local company. The East Sussex Extrication Team has been sponsored by Southern Water.

The team is made up of highly skilled firefighters from East Sussex Fire and Rescue Service who help reduce the number of deaths and injuries on the county’s roads. Nearly every day someone is killed or seriously injured on the roads of East Sussex and that figure is rising.

In 2007, there were 1,716 casualties. Of those, 24 people died and 301 were seriously injured. Nationally, a third of all fatal accidents involve casualties aged 17 to 25.

The East Sussex Extrication Team learn the latest techniques and test new equipment for freeing casualties from road crashes while taking part in regional and national competitions. Currently ranked fifth in the country, their top priority is to raise awareness of road safety and prevent accidents.

Team leader David Washington said: “The support of sponsors like Southern Water is invaluable in our campaign to reduce the number of road deaths by 40 per cent by 2010 and help avoid the heartbreak and devastation caused by road accidents.”

With each serious road accident taking the time of 50 emergency service personnel including fire, police and ambulance and costing in the region of £1.4million, it also makes financial sense for the county to cut the number of accidents. The United Kingdom Rescue Organisation team is raising awareness through open days with schools, companies and community organisations and demonstrations of rescuing casualties from wrecked vehicles.

Helen Sparkes, community programmes manager for Southern Water, which donated £400, said: “We are delighted to support the work of the team to help save lives across East Sussex and reduce the number of people injured and killed each day on our roads.”

Education

Brighton designer mint success A graphic design graduate from the University of Brighton has won a competition to redesign the nation’s coins. Matthew Dent's ideas were chosen from more than 4,000 entries. His seven designs, from the 1p through to the 50p coins, can be pieced together to form a complete image of the shield of the Royal Arms. The £1 coin features the complete shield.

It is the first redesign of coins for 40 years, and the new design will partner the Queen’s head image on the reverse side. The coins are expected to enter circulation gradually from this summer.

Matthew, 26, who graduated in 2003, said: “For designs of mine to appear on a medium as significant and prestigious as the United Kingdom’s coinage and to be produced and circulated in millions is a tremendous honour. I primarily want my new designs to intrigue, to entertain and to raise a smile. I love to think that they may be enjoyed as much by children at school as by folks in a pub.”

Lawrence Zeegen, academic programme leader for graphic design at the University of Brighton, said: “Matt has become that rare breed of designer, so early in his career, that has harnessed a true creative vision, both visually and conceptually, having produced a striking design for the UK's biggest client of all – the British people. Well done Matt!”

Sir Christopher Frayling, chairman of the Royal Mint Advisory Committee on the Design of Coins, Medals, Seals and Decorations, said: “Every designer’s dream is to make an impact on people’s lives and Matthew Dent has achieved this at a very early stage of his career.

These designs are certain to become classics in the history of coinage.”

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Bluebird soars Blitz on disabled parking fraud brings results

A total of 47 disabled parking badges were seized during a recent crackdown on fraudulent use of the badges in Brighton and Hove. Of these, 40 were suspected of being stolen property, or being misused by an able-bodied driver who had ‘borrowed’ them from someone else. A further seven had expired.

The three-week crackdown, called Operation Bluebird, was organised by Brighton and Hove City Council and Brighton and Hove Police to free-up disabled parking spaces and make sure they are available for the people who genuinely need them. Parking attendants and the police, along with DVLA representatives, recently carried out a series of high-profile patrols across the city.

A total of 991 vehicles displaying disabled badges were checked, of which 730 badges were found to be definitely legitimate. Further checks are to be carried out on another 214 badges to verify whether they were being legitimately used (these are cases where the driver was not present and the vehicle was not registered as belonging to a disabled driver. This does not necessarily mean the use of the badge was fraudulent, but further checks will establish whether the badge was being properly used).

“We have had positive feedback from local residents about Operation Bluebird” Councillor Geoffrey Theobald, chairman of Brighton and Hove City Council’s Environment Committee, stressed that the operation had not been directed at genuine badge holders, who welcomed the crackdown on fraudulent use. He added: “We are planning further crackdowns in the summer and police and parking attendants will continue to check blue badges as part of their routine patrols.”

Inspector Jane Derrick of Brighton and Hove Police said: “We have had positive feedback from local residents about Operation Bluebird and we are continuing to receive reports about possible cases of fraudulent blue badge use, which will all be investigated.”

Drivers found fraudulently using blue badges face prosecution and vehicles displaying stolen badges will be towed away. Use of a blue badge by an able-bodied person carries a fine of up to £1,000.

For more information about disabled parking contact the city’s parking information centres on (01273) 293225 or 296622. Anyone with information about fraudulent use of a disabled badge can call Crimestoppers on 0800 555111.

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LATESTSPORT

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Round ups and rumblings from the Latest Sports Bunker

letters@thelatest.co.uk

Whip, crack, away Latest Sport’s Joe Curtin on Teflon Mosley coming unstuck, and Albion tickets to give away

Ladies night Martlets Hospice is inviting female readers to join their Midnight Walk in June. So far, over 650 women have registered to take part in the Martlets Midnight Walk, which will begin on Friday 13 June at midnight.

The 13 mile route around Brighton and Hove will begin and finish at Brighton Racecourse and there will be plenty of marshals on hand to ensure that walkers can participate in safety.

Last year’s walk attracted over 700 participants and raised over £90,000. To apply call 01273 747455 or visit www.martletsmidnightwalk.co.uk The entry fee is £10 per person and each walker is needed to raise sponsorship.

Every walker will receive a special Midnight Walk t-shirt, refreshments along the way and a well-deserved breakfast at the finish.

It’s a great night out and for many there is a real sense of achievement in completing the walk.

Antonia Shepherd, Gemma Blass, Clem Hunnisett, event organisers, The Martlets Hospice

Boozing Brighton So Des Turner has joined the voices calling for the decriminalisation of hard drugs. It is indeed good that this issue is being brought to the fore once again, as Brighton is awash with people hooked to one drug or another.

However, the one horribly destructive drug which seems most pervasive is alcohol. You can hardly walk down the street without tripping over gangs of alcoholics drinking their lives away. It is a deeply tragic sight and one which I feel is accepted as much more ‘normal’ than other drug abuse. Alcohol is a drug and its easy availability must surely make Des Turner it the most dangerous drug facing society today. It is also disturbing to note yet more ‘Cheap Booze’ shops opening up all over the city, while the numbers of victims of alcohol seem to increase day by day.

The council should take a collective responsibility to manage the access that all sectors of society have to alcohol. Only then can this situation have any hope.

Mike Gordon, Lewes Road

It’s a dog’s life Thank you very much for the Cruft tickets last month. I was very surprised to win them and we had a lovely day out!

Miss F King, Abbots Way, Lancing

You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

It’s ironic in this era of the adulteration of the sporting ideal, when the English football top flight whores itself around the world for a few extra bob and major sports are tainted by the use of performance-enhancing drugs, that the Olympic torch, that sporting symbol of hope, is extinguished. Extinguished by the appalling human rights record and annexation of a sovereign state by the country chosen to host the event that promises to unite us all in under the banner of human excellence.

Amid this we are let witness, via a Sunday newspaper, to the off-track antics of one the most powerful people in world sport. Max Mosley, president of the FIA, motor sport’s governing body, was caught in an S&M orgy with five prostitutes, reportedly acting out Holocaust fantasies. The son of notorious British fascist, Oswald Mosley, he was a member of his father’s post-war ultra-Right party. The spectre of fascism has followed him and now he has been caught in flagrante re-enacting the worst side of history: the world’s and his family’s.

“There was always a certain amount of trouble until I came into motor racing” However he has always been somewhat of a Teflon figure despite never being a stranger to controversy. He has regularly been pressured to resign.

In 2005 he was heavily criticised for the US Grand Prix debacle. The Michelin tyres used by 16 of the 22 cars were deemed unsafe to race on.

The idea for a temporary chicane to be installed to negate this was rejected by Mosley and the race ran with only six cars to the derision of the American sporting community – severely damaging the sport’s reputation. The owner of Minardi, who ran on Bridgestones, called for him to resign. He has also been involved in the tobacco sponsorship controversy and criticised for inconsistency over the intellectual property scandal involving McLaren, Ferrari and Renault.

He once said of his infamous family: “There was always a certain amount of trouble until I came into motor racing. ‘Mosley, he must be some relation of Alf Mosley, the coachbuilder’. And I thought to myself, I’ve found a world who don’t know about Oswald Mosley’. It has always been a bit like that in motor racing: nobody gives a darn.”

Famous for its amoral stance, Formula One now speaks of morality and his position looks untenable. When it comes to the image of the multimillion pound sport and the potential for massive lost revenues, unfortunately for Max Mosley, it looks as though they now do give a darn.

Congratulations to Liverpool, Chelsea and Manchester United for qualifying for the semi-finals of the European Champions League. Commiserations to Arsenal: a team that plays football that pretty deserves something from a season that for them is now effectively over. Perhaps the happiest pundit is Alan Hansen. Maybe his “You’ll never win anything with kids” wasn’t so off the mark after all.

Albion ticket giveaway!

Down in the Latest Sport bunker we have been reminiscing over the Albion's golden years and that great day out at Wembley 25 years ago against Manchester in the 1983 FA Cup Final.

We reckon that Jimmy Case’s free kick which put us 1-0 up in the semi that year at Highbury has got to be one of the club’s greatest goals of all time. But none of us can remember who it was against and our Google is playing up.

So to help us out, and to get your hands on one of two pairs of tickets for this Saturday’s home clash against Hartlepool, tell us who the Albion knocked out of the FA Cup semi-final in 1983.

Email us at sport@thelatest.co.uk by 10am this Friday 18 April with the corrrect answer, your name and telephone number and we'll call the winners that afternoon with ticket details. latest 7 19

000_LS368 Alexander house

4/9/08

4:11 PM

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4/10/08

5:22 PM

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COVERSTORY

Relax!

Alexander House Hotel has everything you need to relax and pamper yourself, including a luxurious spa, therapy rooms and fine dining Alexander House has only the best to offer with its truly tranquil Utopia Spa, offering the perfect pampering experience for all. The stunning hotel is a wonderful retreat and exudes relaxation. From the moment you walk through the marbled corridor as you arrive at the Utopia Spa, hearing the subtle sounds of trickling water, you really feel a sense of ease and wellbeing. The Utopia Spa offer their very own range of completely unique signature treatments to really make you feel revitalised and refreshed.

The relaxation days include coffee and pastries on arrival and a two course lunch as well as the use of all the spa facilities. Relaxation days are suitable for both men and women, with an array of over 65 specialist treatments to suit each individual.

Take advantage of the spa’s double therapy rooms in which you can enjoy the luxury of having treatments side by side. The Utopia Spa has 25 treatment rooms and all treatments are performed by professional,

highly skilled and friendly therapists. For all treatments at the spa, only the best products are used, including Guinot and Phytomer, as well as Utopia Spa’s very own skin care range ‘Zing’. All Zing products and gift vouchers can be purchased from the hotel website, all of which make the perfect present for any occasion.

Why not also enjoy a swim in one of the hotel’s three pools, each with stone columns and domed ceilings

and their unique features and treatment rooms. Or retreat to the hotel’s peaceful Spa Gardens in which you can enjoy the hot spa pool out in the fresh air. As the water bubbles away it is sure to help calm your body and mind. Enjoy unlimited use of the various classes and activities, which include yoga, Pilates or one of the many exercise classes.

Work out in the gym where personal training and fitness assessments are available.

Alexander House is surrounded by 170 acres of beautiful countryside, through which you can walk or mountain bike along one of their woodland trails, or enjoy horse riding (by appointment), tennis or croquet on the lawn.

Alexander House also offers a range of great overnight escapes at the spa, which are designed for you to make the most of your relaxation day. Special overnight packages are available that include dinner and full English breakfast. The Spa Escapes have been designed to give you a wide range of options which are available to view on the hotel website – www.alexanderhouse.co.uk Stay in the stunning new spa bedrooms which are conveniently situated above the Utopia Spa. Indulging in deep sleep comes easy in one of the sumptuous beds. All spa bedrooms are equipped with luxurious oversize bathrooms, many having two-person tubs incorporating the unique three-way spa showers, featuring steam.

Finish off your day with a delicious meal in the Reflections Brasserie which overlooks the Flames Courtyard, an open-air terrace with its wonderful and inviting log fire pit, or upgrade yourself to Alexander’s – the hotel’s fine dining, two AA Rosette restaurant.

Alexander House Hotel & Utopia Spa is a real gem with something for everyone, so go on – treat yourself!

Alexander House Hotel, Turners Hill, West Sussex.

Tel: 01342 714914, visit: www.alexanderhouse.co.uk or email: admin@alexanderhouse.co.uk latest 7 21

000_LS368 Joogleberry FP

4/9/08

3:33 PM

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manchester st brighton

01273 687171 01273 571400 joogleberry.com STOP PRESS: cafe now open from midday, everyday

Big Gigs Fri 18 Apr – This Is Elvis Superb Elvis tribute band

Planning a party, wedding or anniversary?

Sat 19 Apr – Katarina Holmberg

Book the joogleberry for FREE!*

Mon 21 Apr – Jonas Kullhammar Quartet

Private venue for up to 200 guests * subject to terms and conditions

“I had the best time ever, and so did all my family and friends. Thank you so much for all your hard work and to your staff who worked extremely professionally and made the night run so smoothly. We will all remember it for ever and ever – except those who drank too much!”

LW

A lively entertainer and soulful singer.

A young Rollins and Coltrane-inspired post bopper

Tues 29 Apr – The Long Goodbye & Sweet Sweet Lies Indie/Alt/Americana. Doors 8pm £5

ring now for tickets on 01273 687171/571400

023_LS368_manic organic

4/9/08

2:35 PM

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BRIGHTONFESTIVAL

Manic Organic Manic Organic utilises the Dome’s amazing organ for a subversive new spin on the organ extravaganza, Jeff Hemmings reports Manic Organic is a contemporary organ extravaganza organised by the Brighton Festival’s music and dance programmer, Guy Morley. The Dome’s famous pipe organ was in danger of being overlooked when the complex was being extensively restructured at the turn of the millennium. “Originally, the organ would be used for a programme of hits of the 40s and 50s, and for a generation that are fast disappearing.

So, I wanted to get a new audience for it,” says Guy. On the bill are Australia’s The Necks, the truly exploratory and riveting avant improv trio who will be trading piano for pipe organ for their freeform sonic adventures. “I know The Necks well, they have played the Festival before, and Chris Abrahams plays the the piano harmonically and actually plays with the resonances of the instrument’s sound, so I thought they would be a very good fit.”

Guy’s search for bands and musicians who could offer something new to this unique instrument ended when he came across Matt Stokes. “It intrigued me to want to hear happy hardcore and black metal being transcribed and performed on the organ.” Also, tracks that have been selected via a vote on the Brighton Festival website (from a selection from tracks by renowned Brighton bands Fujiya and Miyagi, The Go! Team and British Sea Power) will then be transcribed and performed (by William Whitehead and Paul Ayres) on the organ.

The bill also includes Robert Lippock, founder of German post-rock outfit To Rococo Rot and a leading figure in Berlin’s ambient electronica scene. He’ll be the first act on the night to put the organ’s 3,000 pipes through their paces, accompanied by Italian harpist Beatrice Martini.

The present ‘dual-purpose’ concert organ was built in 1936 by Hill, Norman and Beard, for £8,800. The organ is a large four-manual classical organ, with conventional great, swell, solo and accompaniment (or choir) manuals (manual is the organ term for keyboards). It has 42 ranks (a rank is a row of pipes) placed in four chambers, the unit construction with electro-pneumatic action produces no less than 250 stop tabs

(these turn the different kinds of pipe sounds on or off), and there are many special effects stops such as orchestra bells, marimba harp, sleigh bells and bird whistles, and there’s a wealth of manual-to-manual, manual-to-pedal, octave couplers, The Necks sell pedals, double-touch stop tabs and thumb pistons.

It is quite possibly the most complex organ in the country, and was certainly one of the most famous – Douglas Reeve’s Tuesday Night at the Dome ran for over 1,600 performances and earned a place in the Guinness Book of Records as the longest-running seaside variety show in the world, and was often broadcast on the BBC. But gradually the organ fell into disuse, and in 2000 when the extensive restructuring of the Dome complex began, the organ was originally not included in the scheme. However, once a demonstration of the versatility of the organ was given to the Brighton Festival Committee, the restoration of the organ began in earnest and in August 2002 it was reinstalled with an added computer microprocessing system in place.

This magnificent organ will also be used by Medeski, Martin, Wood at their Dome show on 24 May, which will also feature a special guest, the percussion master Airto Moreira. Medeski will be surrounded by banks of keyboards along with the massive organ and expect to here their signature Hammond-led jazz grooves.

“I think that if the programme appeals to me, I thought it should appeal to others,” says Guy. “It’s one of those things in the programme that people really notice – the idea is that it’s going to be fun; not just impenetrable squealing and squawking.

Manic Organic, 15 May, 8pm.

Medeski, Martin, Wood, 24 May, 8pm.

‘‘The idea is that it’s going to fun; not just impenetrable squealing and squawking’’

latest 7 23

024_LS368_fashion

4/10/08

12:49 PM

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FASHION

Bag it up Whatever the occasion, make sure you’re swinging and zinging. By Zara Friend Bags are like shoes. No matter what your other half may tell you, you can never have enough. There will always be something different, depending on mood and occasion. The bag you take for your nine-to-five is not the little clutch you want to hit (not literally) the town with on the weekend. A weekend shopper can be spacious and girly, while there’s always something ready for a formal occasion. Let us dress you up with the right bag for all occasions. The only thing you have to worry about now is the outfit.

1

A no-nonsense brown stitch bag for all your daily carryarounds, £20 from Next.

2

A funky oversized paisley bag for the weekend means you’ll never have to leave anything behind.

A unique and gorgeous print – it has to be from every girl’s favourite store... £40 from Accessorize.

3

Fantastic purse – patent red so you can add a flirty touch to your outfit. Will look great if you wear black. If you opt for red (skirt, top or lips) just make sure it matches! £15 from French Connection.

4

Keep it bright this spring with help from Debenhams.

Star by Julian Macdonald clutch, £18.

10% off with this ad

NLP Coach and Hypnotherapist Jonathan Conway Bsc Dip EHPNLP NCH (acc) Qualified experienced hypnotherapist Certified NLP Master Practitioner and Coach

5

7

A gorgeous, feminine bag – straw is back. Give your carrier a funky twist with a bold bow. £25 from New Look.

6

Let the bow theme continue with this stunning bow front bag from asos.com. This makes a wonderful small clutch but also has a long shoulder strap for an evening so you can keep one hold on your drink and one on your better half!

For sophisticated style, this small bag is great to see you through spring and into summer with its light colour and attractive style. Make it your fashion staple for an evening out. £21.99 from River Island.

Effectively assists with: • public speaking • panic attacks • exam nerves • self esteem • smoking • phobias • weight

He also teaches self hypnosis and is available for telephone coaching

01273 540425 07956 855027 www.jonathanconway.co.uk London, Brighton, Hove & Forest Row Practices

Now you have the bag, work the rest of your outfit around it!

24 latest 7

025_LS368_health

4/11/08

1:58 PM

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HEALTH

See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk

Health & fitness TUESDAY 15

Take it easy Zara Friend says it’s time to slow down and take some time out with a relaxing spa break for wellbeing Planning Take a break away from everyday life and recharge at a spa. Visit for an afternoon, a day or an entire weekend and reap the benefits of unwinding and being pampered. We all deserve a little time away from it all and the good news is all it takes is a little careful planning.

Firstly, find the right spa break for you. Spa breaks used to mean a trip to a countryside resort, which is costly with travel, accommodation and treatments. Spas today cater for every walk of life and the benefit of living in Sussex means there’s the modern urban spas in the city centre and country spas just a short drive away on the downs. We have the best of both worlds so it’s time to make use of it.

Plan your spa break with two weeks notice, booking the time off work or cancelling weekend appointments if needed. A change from the old routine will immediately make you feel invigorated and refreshed, and knowing you have the time for yourself means you can thoroughly relax and enjoy the experience.

Types of spa From hen weekends, to a special anniversary, redeeming a gift voucher or treating your mum, a spa day is suitable for men and women alike, with more men realising the relaxing benefits of having a massage or unwinding in a hot tub. The variety of spas means you will find something to suit your needs.

• An urban spa found in city centres is more like a day spa. You prebook and choose the treatments you need, even if it’s an hour manicure in your lunch break!

• A destination spa or health spa is the way to realise the full benefits of spa treatments, with a two or three night stay providing all the time you need to be pampered and de-stress.

• A hotel spa is the easy and enjoyable way to treat yourself. Book in a massage and relax in your own time, similar to a spa day visit.

• Health farms are the ultimate way to de-stress. Take a week away and detox your body, eating right, exercising well and being pampered with a full body wrap. This type of spa will take a lot more planning.

latest

Now you know the types, choose carefully and get relaxed. Don’t forget a stop in the hot tub – hydrotherapy is a great method of relaxation.

Aimed water flow helps to reduce anxiety and drepression, improve the skin tone, decrease blood pressure and aid sports injuries and aching joints. Now, where’s that phone book...

wave

Reach over 100,000 health-conscious readers across London and the Southeast with Wave, the regions only free mind, body and soul monthly.

To advertise call Jason on

01273 818160 If you would like to comment on this story please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Astanga Yoga Brighton Buddhist Centre, 12.45–2pm, & 6–7.30pm, £6/4 Circuit Training General level.

Alive gym, 7pm Daily Drop-in Homeopathy Clinic Every weekday from 11am–12pm, Revitalise. Free advice, consultations are £10 including remedies.

Iyengar Yoga With Simon Edwardson, fully equipped studio in Hove. More details contact Simon: 01273 729430, all levels. 10–11.30am, £8 Pilates Matwork class at Back2Balance, 5.45pm (beginners). 7pm (improvers), 8pm (general), £8 Tonetastic Fitforall, 9.30am, £5

WEDNESDAY 16 Meta Medicine Learn how Meta-Medicine can show you the root cause of all diseases in this amazing talk. It is the first step towards designing a holistic therapy plan to take you back to wellness. Q&A follows. Lecture Room, Friends' Meeting House, Ship Street, 8pm–9.45pm, £7 Open Meditation Evening Basic guided and unguided Buddhist meditation practice.

Bodhi Garden, info Richard: 07796 331167, 7.30–9pm, suggested donation £5 Pilates For Beginners The Acupuncture Clinic, 11am–12pm, £40 for 5.

Pilates Level 1 and intro 6week course. Revitalise, £45 for 6 weeks. Please book.

7–8pm and 8–9pm Scaravelli Yoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 7.30–9pm, £8/£35 for 5.

Yoga Rhythms Hatha/Vinyasa yoga. Classes for beginners. back 2 Balance, 6.30–8pm, £7/£6

THURSDAY 17

Go, Lunch time Yoga - All welcome, Back 2 Balance Therapy Rooms, 10am–2pm, £25/£20 Yogalates With Fiona, Fitforall, 9.30am, £5

SATURDAY 19 Boxercise Circuit Training 90-minute class. Details: www.halinapt.co.uk Goldstone Business Centre, 2 Goldstone Street, Hove.

12.30–2pm, £7 Choi Kwang Do The 21st Century approach to Martial Arts training. Dorothy Springer Sports Complex, Brighton. Children's class (9.30–10.30am), adults class (10.30am–12.30pm). Call 07895 066321 for more info.

Hi/Lo Aerobics Intermediate/advanced, Alive gym, 10am Pregnancy Yoga Bookings call Karen: 01273 517255, Karen@evolve-now.co.uk, Fort Road, Newhaven.

9–10.30am Roller Disco Family Session 5–6pm and fast session (no under 13's) from 6.15–7.15pm.

Southwick Roller Disco, Southwick Leisure Centre, Old Barn Way, Southwick, 01273 238111.

SUNDAY 20 Chenresig Prayers and Practices Run by the Brighton Green Tara group. All levels of meditators are welcome and the practices are explained. Info: Patricia 01273 739187. Bodhi Garden, from 6pm Legs, Bums and Tums Coral Health & Fitness, 10.15am, £3.50 Vajrasati Yoga Drop-in with Charlotte, all levels.

Alexandra Dance Academy, 11am–12.30pm, £6/£5 Vajrasati Yoga With Amber Ward, Evolution Arts, 7–8.15pm, £6/£4 Women’s Yoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 11am–12.15pm, £40 for six

Ashtanga Yoga All levels, Revitalise, 7.30am–8.30am, £42 for 6 weeks Body Control Pilates Mixed & advanced classes. Holistic Health Centre, 8–9.15pm, £60 for six weeks Hatha Yoga Patcham Comm Centre. 07986 850029.

9.45–11.15am, £6 Jazz Dance Alive gym, 1.30pm Pilates With Gail, Fitforall, 6.15pm, £4 Shamanic Dance Psychotherapy Life, Mind, Body and Soul Healing.

Hanover Centre, Brighton, 1–2.30pm, £10/£8 or £55/£44 for 6.

Sivananda Based Yoga Cornerstone Community Centre, 7.15–8.30pm, info call Sarah: 01272 208402, £6 per session Taijiwuxigong Brighton Natural Health Centre, 8–9.30pm, £7 Yoga Fitforall, 7.30pm, £5

MONDAY 21

FRIDAY 18

DIRECTORY

Classic Yoga Brighton Natural Health Centre, 1–2.15pm, £5.50/£5 Latin Dance (salsa) Coral Health and Fitness, please call 01273 731262 for class times, £4 Pregnancy Pilates The Acupuncture Clinic, £60 for 6, 12.15–1.15pm Supple Strength Healthy Vibes, 12–1pm, £6/£30 for 6 Yoga And Meditation Brighton Buddhist Centre, 10–11.30am, £6/£4 Yoga Evolution Arts, 6–7.15pm, £6/£4 Yoga Rhythms Flow and Let

Astanga Yoga Brighton Natural Health Centre, 6.30–8pm, £8/7 Belly Dance Fitness Fusion Please call Hilde for more info/to confirm venue on 07900 441993, 1.30–2.30pm Contemporary Dance Class With emphasis on fun, flow and expression. Westhill Hall, 6.15–7.15pm Free-Weights Workout Alive gym, 7pm Kids Yoga The Acupuncture Clinic, 4–5pm, £20 for 5 Kundalini Yoga For LGBT, Anahata Health Clinic.

7.45pm, £4/£5 Shaolin Kung Fu All levels, Davigdor School. 7–8pm, £7 Unguided Meditation Alan for info: 07966 046524, Bodhi Garden, 6-7pm, suggested donation £5 Yoga With Jo, Cornerstone Community Centre, 9.30–10.30am, £7/£30 for 6.

The Acupuncture Clinic 143 Portland Road, Hove 01273 722422 Alexandra Dance Academy 11 Howard Road, Hanover, 01273 273522 Alive 25-27 Castle Street, Brighton 01273 739606 All Saints Church Hall Eaton Road, Hove Ian: 07900 193230 www.ik-taichi.com Anahata Health Clinic 119–120 Edward Street, Kemp Town, 01273 239466 Back2Balance, 35 Goldstone Villas, Hove, 01273 206868 BE Pilates Studio

121 Eldred Avenue, Westdene Carla: 01273 273074 Bodhi Garden Centre 7 Ship St Gardens, Brighton Richard: 07796 331167 Brighthelm Community Centre North Road, Brighton 01273821512 Brighton Buddhist Centre 17 Tichborne Street, Brighton 01273 772090 Brighton Ki Centre 12 Queen’s Square, Brighton Barry: 07854 389606 Brighton Natural Health Centre Regent Street, Brighton, 01273 600010 Brighton Reiki Centre Viaduct Road, Brighton 07968 982136 Coast Chiropractic 198 Church Road, Hove 01273 321133 Coral Health And Fitness Orchard Road, Hove 01273 731262 Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove The Dance Station Unit 4, 57 North St, Portslade 01273 506681 Davigdor Infants School Somerhill Road, Hove Bernie: 07799 097776 Dean’s Leisure Centre Longhill School Karen: 01273 391168 The Dharma School Ladies Mile Road, Patcham 01273 502055 Diamond Way Buddhist Centre Montpelier Road, Brighton, Ingrid: 07736 061108 Dorothy Stringer Sports Complex, Loder Rd, Brighton Info: 07895 066321 Evolution Arts & Health Centre, 2 Sillwood Terrace, Brighton, 01273 204204 Fitforall, Unit 1, Portland Road Trading Estate, Hove, 01273 415515 Gallus Boxing Gym 21a Melbourne St, Brighton Paul Evans: 07982 692195 Goldstone Business Centre 2 Goldstone Street, Hove www.halinapt.co.uk Healthy Vibes 200 Church Road, Hove, 01273 710709 Holistic Health Clinic 53 Beaconsfield Rd, Brighton 01273 696295 Johnson Page Healthcare Chiropractic & Medical Acupuncture, 15 Ship Street 01273 724777 King Alfred Leisure Centre Kingsway, Hove, 01273 290290 Komaja Centre 21a Upper Market St, Hove Cela: 01273 771472 Leach Court Eastern Road, Brighton Ian Kendall: 07900 193230 Medical Herbalist Sarah Flower (MNIMH) at Anahata Health Clinic Info: 01273 698687 More Bar/Restaurant 98 Trafalgar Sreet, Brighton 07717584738 Patcham Community Centre Ladies Mile Road, Patcham Peacehaven Leisure Centre Greenwich Way, Peacehaven 01273 588858 Revitalise 86 Church Road Hove 01273 738389 St Mary Magdalen 55 Upper North St, Brighton 01273 676992 Unit 4 20–26 Roundhill Street Brighton Wendy Whatling School of Dance, Unit 11a, Dyke Road Mews, Brighton Westhill Hall Compton Ave, Seven Dials ZT Fitness Behind Hove Station, Hove, 01273 202226 List for FREE in this section. email health events to editorial@thelatest.co.uk with the date, place, time and cost

latest 7 25

026_LS368_maydays

4/10/08

3:44 PM

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IMPROVCOMEDY

THEMAYDAYS

Impropriety with The Maydays the

Gerald Pike conundrum It was 6.30am in Hove, but Gerald didn’t care, for in his dream time was never ending. He could be a king…or a god… The half marathon had seemed like a good idea but somehow he’d lost his way. He’d been distracted by the image of Michael J Fox appearing to him in the window of King Alfred’s. No pain, no gain he used to say but Gerald was not a fan of the tough approach, he preferred a softer touch. The gelignite had not had the desired effect. The Pavilion was in ruins but everyone who had gathered outside for the start of the race was frustratingly unscathed. “Damn,” thought Gerald. A chicken dinner was the way forward. That would give him the energy he required.

“But at this time in the morning,” Gerald pondered, “where would he get formaldehyde?” Gerald packed his prison bag. He thought it a little harsh that the outside ledge of Hove Town Hall was considered a ‘public place’ but smoking was smoking, even if that little pr*ck, Fox was the one to arrest him. “Damn you Teenwolf,” puffed Pyke.

ry ona C

ner or

Dict i

THIS JUST IN!

This week’s made-up word:

Kilbuni

Definition: An ancient Chinese game played using the bones of Roy Castle.

Usage: Last Wednesday my music teacher politely suggested I stuff the clarinet and learn Kilbuni instead.

Top 10 Liquids Gravy The sea Mercury Blood, sweat and tears

Beer Tea Eyeliner Paint

>What you have just read has been pieced together from the nine brains of Brighton’s Maydays. Where one brain ends and another begins, we’re not telling.

Tune in each week to catch the mismatched adventures of Gerald Pike and the news according to improv. The Maydays perform improvised comedy shows and musicals in Brighton and around the UK.< To make up a word for us to give meaning to, email: mayday@themaydays.co.uk. For upcoming shows or ticketing see listings or visit: themaydays.co.uk or myspace.com/maydayplayers

Next show: 27 April, 7.30pm 26 latest 7

Mayday! The Musical

Komedia, Brighton

000_LS368_cheeky/stars

11/4/08

2:23 PM

Page 1

Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

A local poet writes...

ONLY JOKING! Last remaining native brightonian moves out Gavin Bayliss, the last remaining person to be born in Brighton and still live here, moved to St Leonard’s on Saturday, forced out by the rising tide of Londoners relocating here with their internet businesses, nannies and jeeps, driving the house prices up, and turning the city into an overpriced, soulless, clone of Islington. Before leaving, Bayliss (32) read out a statement that unfortunately cannot be printed in a family magazine like Latest 7, although we can reveal that it did contain two uses to the F-word, three of the W-word, and fourteen of the C-word.

Stick Your Oar In

Retired gasfitter and local bard Ron Outhouse, 69, presents another poem written specially for Bare Cheek. Ron’s selfpublished poetry collections, A Handful Of Conkers, Going To The Dogs and I’ll Build My Greenhouse Where I Bloody Well Like are all available from the PDSA charity shop, Hove. He is a regular (and lively!) contributor to many local newspaper letters pages and radio phone-in programmes.

An occasional series in which we ask the opinion of both celebrities and lowly proles on a local issue.

This week – should nude lap-dancing clubs be allowed to remain in Brighton and Hove?

Mrs Gloria Pinhill (83), Patcham “I don’t really see what all the fuss is about to be honest.

We are all born naked, as God intended, and nudity is a perfectly normal human state. What could be more natural than a healthy young woman rubbing baby oil into her chest while using a sex toy in front of a roomful of people?”

Feeling S.A.D. Oh the weather of late Has not been great As I’m sure that you all know.

We’ve had lots of rain And wind again And even a bit of snow!

Those boffins in The government Say that it is a warning.

That these events Being so intense Are because of global warming.

Well, as for me I’m not so sure That these are the true facts.

I don’t blame Global warming I blame the bloody...

(The rest of this poem has been censored for contravening laws governing hate crime and racial abuse.)

Astral Angi ★Finding truth in the stars★

Local Councillor Mike Gooley “These clubs truly reflect the spirit of Brighton. They are fun, vibrant, cheeky, a bit outrageous, totally overpriced, and run by criminals.”

Martin Cherwell (49), Portslade “Since one of these so-called clubs opened down the end of my street I have been forced to sell my house, due to having spent all of my money going there.”

Tony W. Smith (38), Kemp Town “It’s typical that heterosexual clubs like this, featuring naked women, should be attracting such opprobrium, while similar gay establishments are ignored. Why can’t we homosexuals get headlines on the front page of The Argus, and questions asked by politicians, like in the old days. It’s prejudice, pure and simple.”

Arthur Superstar “I hasn’t ever seen a nude lady, cause my mum once told me how my special thing would explode if I ever did, so I says we should brick these clubs up and fill ‘em up with water so all the folks insides ‘em drowns, that’s what I says.”

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

BARDSLEY’S

WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

01273 681256

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19)

Your personal mission is clear now and you must start to get people in place for a major shove. You are such bullies, beware of a major backlash if you proceed in this manner.

You too are irritable and emotional just like those silly Taureans. Get a grip and chill out, especially when surrounded by friends and family. This will improve – if you let it!

Your massive brain capacity should stand you in good stead when tackling any problem this week, from washing up to filing late tax returns.

Concentrate and conquer all.

This is not a good time for Capricorns to try anything new. Best then to stay at home, take the day off or even a week. Do not allow yourself to be pushed about, ha!

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

Someone close to you is starting to get on your wick but sit back and think. Is it you that is irritating them?

After all, you are really very annoying you Taureans.

It’s time to sit down and talk frankly with partners, business or sexual.

Now is the time to iron out any little (or big) problems that you have or may soon arise.

You – or someone very close to you – is about to have a massive tantrum.

You have two choices; face up or walk away. Either way you will have a difficult week. Have a drink.

An exciting opportunity will present itself to you very soon. Go with it and go for it, you cannot fail. Remember you are and Aquarian and can conquer all. Take wet wipes with you.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

Be prepared to be led astray by someone influential in your life. This is not neccessarily a bad thing but be prepared for a wild and bumpy ride – hold on tight.

Someone will make a change in their life that will affect yours. It may be a simple scheduling issue, it may be a major life change. Try to accomodate this. I know it’s hard but do.

Sagis, this is your time for showing off – wait for it – I haven’t finished yet.

This is a chance to impress so think before you start. A great week for karaoke and ten pin bowling.

Brain energy is the key to your life right now so what better way to improve your standing than by topping up that old omega 3 down at Bardsleys with a slab of fish.

To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk

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SUNDAYROASTS

Still maintaining our high quality Sunday roasts accompanying our jazz brunch.

Inclusive full English breakfast & vegetarians options.

Served in a relaxed atmosphere by friendly staff

Peter’s Kitchen at The Dover Castle Kitchen opening times Sunday 12–8pm

Monday –Fridays 12–3pm & 6–9pm

Saturday 12–8pm

Locally caught fresh fish every day

01273 688276

Sunday roast from 12pm Four meat and two veggie options. Homemade desserts...

Good doesn’t have to be expensive 28 latest 7

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SUNDAYROASTS

Roasted What is it that makes Sunday lunch Britain’s favourite meal?

Who can resist the smell of a roasting Sunday lunch, the sizzle of potatoes in hot fat, the thought of Yorkshire puds and dark gravy?

Not many of you I will bet. We all grow up with our favourite: lamb, beef, chicken, pork, even nut roast, but there is one thing that unites most of us. What is it? Well, the washing up of course. There is nothing harder than ploughing through the piles of pots and pans that are used in creating a traditional Sunday roast. Oh the preparation may be easy, a bit of peeling maybe and then it’s all in the timing.

There is a way to avoid all that, go out. Seriously, there are some excellent Sunday roasts to be found in pubs and restaurants and none of the mess either. And when you add up the cost of buying all the ingredients it can even be cheaper than making your own.

These days the Sunday roast has become a thing of local pride with regionally sourced produce high on many lists and a real return to traditional values, ie, a plate full of good and nourishing food.

So there you have it, no shopping, no cooking, no washing up – no worries.

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK

The quick ginger fox…

Andrew Kay jumps at the chance to dine at The Ginger Fox Initially slow off the mark with gastro pubs, Sussex is now grasping the nettle firmly and making a real fist of it. Funnily enough Brighton was slowest off the mark but now boasts at least four that I reckon are worth a visit. Regular readers will know where I mean. A firm favourite is the Ginger Pig, where Ben, the Ginger Man, works his magic with good produce and culinary skill. But there is no booking so it's pot-luck if you get a table or not.

He and wife Pam (congratulations on the new baby by the way, how do you find the time?) have now opened the Ginger Fox over at Shaves Thatch. They have to offer bookings there as it is a drive out of the city, albeit not a very long or difficult one. My friend Mr H was down from the smoke so it seemed like a perfect opportunity to show off the Sussex landscape and one of our culinary stars. We were not to be disappointed, the road over Devil’s Dyke offers some great views and Shaves Thatch is only a short drive further on. The team have invested a great deal in a refurb and a rethatch of this ancient building and it looks ever so pretty. Inside are soft colours, comfy armchairs and traditional tables and chairs. We chose a window seat and settled back to enjoy.

The menu is compact, not short but not too long either, and is supplemented by a short list of daily specials marked up on a blackboard. With a glass of Sussex fizz in hand we started to make our choices – but it was not easy, I would have been happy to eat anything on the menu, and so would Mr H. In the end he chose seared tuna loin, a thick slab

of fish that had been politely introduced to the griddle but had not over stayed its welcome. It came with a mound of intensely flavoured herb salad, beetroot puree and beetroot dressing, really delicious. I went for the ham hock with leek vinaigrette. The hock had been poached and shredded then formed into a sausage. I had three fat slices balanced on tiny tender leeks in the most delicate of dressings and the whole lot topped off with a grated hard boiled egg. Utterly scrumptious old-fashioned stuff.

To drink I chose a bottle of English rosé from Kent, local enough I reckoned to maintain the theme. It was very good too with a full flavour, asparagus on the nose and not too hefty in alcohol at 11.5 per cent.

On then to mains with Mr H tucking into a skewer of spiced neck lamb served with tomato cous cous and chilli aubergine. The first bite was a tad tough but after that it was tender all the way, and so well spiced – vibrant but not fiery. His face told the whole story, a very happy diner indeed. Me, being me, I had to have the braised veal cheek. I know, you might have guessed had you been asked, I do have a penchant for the odder cuts, but they are so, so tasty. The veal was as tender as a baby’s bottom, not that I have ever eaten one, but you know what I mean. The mashed potato was a cloud of tasty white fluff and the spinach had that metallic bitter edge that makes it so nice. It came surrounded by light gravy, not too sticky, and topped with onion beignets and sage leaves. It was ten out of ten good, five star good. I could eat it again right now.

“Too full for dessert“ said Mr H but I pointed out that this was business not pleasure. I forced his arm to a bitter chocolate timbale with caramelised banana and banana ice cream. For a man who was replete he made fairly short work of this pretty pud. I chose Marsala poached pear with an iced vanilla and mascarpone parfait. Delicate and so light, these were two real triumphs in a world of clumsy puddings.

A brace of double espressos arrived with an invitation to try the home made chocolate truffles.

Too full indeed Mr H...as he eagerly accepted. I have to say it was a wise decision. Chocolates like these are an engineering feat, making something solid in form that immediately melts in your mouth, balancing sugar and butter and chocolate and cream in a perfect molecular balancing act.

The Ginger Fox is a sensation, great food once again as I had expected, brilliant surroundings and excellent service On the way back we had a brisk stroll in the woods to work off some of the calories. I cannot recommend this more highly, get there now before the place is booked out, which I am sure it soon will be.

The Ginger Fox, Albourne, Hassocks BN6 9EA. Call: 01273 857888 www.gingermanrestaurants.com

‘‘Glass of Sussex fizz in hand we started to make choices – but it was not easy, I would have been happy to eat anything on the menu‘‘

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If you would like to comment on this story please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk

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LATESTHOTLIST

latest hot

LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS

RESTAURANTS BRITISH (ORGANIC) CONTEMPORARY Seasons Restaurant There’s a number of reasons to eat more local, seasonal food: To reduce energy (associated CO2 emissions) needed to grow and transport foods, to avoid paying premiums for foods that are imported, to support local economy and reconnect with nature's cycles, most importantly, because seasonal food is fresher and tends to be tastier and more nutritious.

1b Waterfront, Brighton Marina, BN2 5WA. Tel: 01273 675007

BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s

Sam’s of Brighton

New Steine Bistro

A brand new restaurant on the Kemp Town restaurant scene. Situated in the famous One Paston Place site, Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a free-range poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter.

1 Paston Place, Brighton, 01273 676222 www.samsofbrighton.co.uk

Cosy French Bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional homemade French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too! Daily evening menu at two courses £10.50, three courses £12.50 weekdays; and two courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 Friday and Saturday (ONLY LIMITED SPACES AVAILABLE DAILY). A la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6pm to 10pm for last orders.

10-11 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546/695415

CHINESE Gars Restaurant Stunningly refurbished, this old Brighton favourite has attained a new lease of life.

An exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room and enjoy the glamour of it all. Eat from £10.

19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321 www.gars.co.uk

FRENCH The Arrogant Frog Fresh, contemporary design with an authentic Gallic feel. We serve traditional food by French chefs in a relaxed, friendly atmosphere in the restaurant, or in the large, calm, sunny garden. Lunchtime dishes start at £4.50, with a range of lunch and dinner menus. A free bottle of wine comes with the Early Frog special, 5.45–6.45pm. Roast dinners on Sunday lunchtimes. Open for morning teas and coffees.

119 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721 488, www.thearrogantfrog.com

L’Église L’Église is a traditional French restaurant in Hove offering classic cuisine prepared for contemporary tastes. Furnished in solid wood and pewter with a vibrant brasserie atmosphere, it offers a fantastic à la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday ranging from moules marinière to côte de bœuf for two.

Locally sourced produce includes freshly caught fish of the day and an extensive anglo-french farmhouse cheeseboard.

There is also a selection of superb French desserts on offer such as tarte au citron and crème brulée. With a “Menu Rapide” Tuesday to Saturday 12–5pm at £11.95 for two courses, and a delicious roast on Sunday, this is true entente cordiale.

196 Church road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk, info@legliserestaurant.co.uk

GREEK Symposio Greek Taverna In a city with very few Greek eateries it’s great to find somewhere warm and inviting to indulge in some Greek food. From magnificent mezze to classic grilled meats,

Symposio has a great taverna atmosphere and the lively style of the venue adds a great ambience to what can be a terrific party venue. Also fabulous for a romantic dinner, family outing or business meal. The moussaka is a must and also the deep red wine-soaked sausages and crisp calamari.

121 Western Road, Hove, 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

INDIAN Nooris Indian Cuisine One of Brighton’s longest-standing Indian restaurants, and justifiably so. Smart service and a menu that, as well as offering all our favourite dishes, has some interesting and unusual dishes on offer. The restaurant has a great central location just off the seafront as well. We have always been particularly impressed by the vegetarian menu. Try the jalfrezi karai and jungle masalla. Excellent breads and side dishes are on offer too.

Offers include £6.95 for a two course meal and £9.95 for a three course meal with wine.

70 Ship Street, Brighton, 01273 329405

ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London.

There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials.

They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hardpressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Very popular with students and families with young children, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu that is utterly affordable with the company’s signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95.

16–17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

The Coach House

SOUTH EAST ASIAN Bali Brasserie

Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty homecooked food, separate evening and lunch menus and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter a central open fire roars. In summer, people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt.

59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com

Located in a 1960s mansion block, this very popular Indonesian-Malaysian restaurant has a rijsttafel buffet dining menu at £16.95 with a wide and generous range of dishes that are constantly replenished. There is also an à la carte menu. Nice original retro décor, bamboo and cane, pink and gilt, with lots of oriental puppets, jazz playing and a friendly atmosphere. Very Simon Templar.

Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove, 01273 323810, 12-2pm, 6.30-10.30pm (till 11pm Friday and Saturday)

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight plus a wine list full of treats without being expensive. Make the most of the terrace when the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat.

1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555, www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

SPANISH La Tapa De Oro

Bali Brasserie

This large upper room is home to great and authentic Spanish cooking. Tapas has been trendy for years but here the emphasis is on real Iberian food. Favourites include sweet slices of octopus on boiled potato slices dressed with olive oil, lovely ensalad russe and great jamon serrano. Informal and friendly, this is a great place for a romantic dinner, family outing, business meal or party.

123 Western Road, Hove, 01273 779474 www.ipanemarestaurants.com

To have an entry in the latest hot list call Marie on 01273 818150 latest 7 31

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LATESTHOTLIST THAI Chokdee This premium take-away next to Hove Station offers fantastic quality Thai food – to your door if you use the free local home-delivery service – or to take away if you are passing. You can eat in too, in the stylish dining area. Counter service does away with additional service charges, so you can enjoy Thai food as often as you like without the fuss. At Chokdee it’s the food that’s the thing.

98 Goldstone Villas, Hove, 01273 720370 www.chokdeethai.co.uk

Sawadee The Thai restaurant that people love for parties and celebrations because they always give the best of times. And why not; this well-priced restaurant pleases repeatedly with dishes we have all grown to love, and new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients, such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great sliced beef salad.

87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

VEGETARIAN Revitalise (formerly Planet Janet)

RECIPE delicious fair-trade teas and coffee, vegan and gluten-free options. The only 100 per cent freshly pressed juice bar in Hove open seven days a week, families welcome. You can eat for less than a fiver!

86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389 www.revitalise-u.com

COFFEE SHOPS Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries. A place where customers are attended to by a dedicated team of the very best baristas, whose driving motivation is to provide the ultimate ‘coffee experience’. Beautiful oak, sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views. Everyone can find a place to sit and sip, get wrapped up in a good book, take advantage of the free Wi-Fi or just relax.

Spinelli Coffee is located in the heart of Kemp Town village, just off the corner of St George’s Road and College Road.

Mon–Sat 7:30am–7:00pm Sun 8:30am–5:00pm Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819

This popular and stylish Hove café restaurant offers delicious healthy hot and cold food in combination with being an excellent centre for therapies, treatments and classes. Healthy breakfasts, chunky sandwiches, soups, main meals, jacket potatoes and salads form the core of the menu. Freshly pressed fruit and vegetable juices in delicious revitalising combos,

What’s cooking this week?

Gordon Ramsay’s Healthy Appetite Recipes from The F Word Love him or loathe him (or love to hate?)

Gordon Ramsay is a genius chef who pushes people in his television shows to bring out the best in them.

For the third series of The F Word comes a new recipe book (out in shops 2 May) collecting together over 125 mouthwatering recipes, centred around healthy living. The super-fit chef, marathon runner and TV presenter knows his way around the kitchen, making extraordinary and delicious dishes that focus on staying in the peak of good health.

Below is a sneek preview of what’s in the new book – a delicious dinner treat that’s an excellent source of iron and protein.

Zara Friend

Roasted fillet of beef with tomato tarragon dressing Ingredients Serves 6 1.2kg prime beef fillet (in one piece) cut from the thick end Sea salt and black pepper 2 tbsp olive oil Few handfuls of wild rocket leaves Tomato tarragon dressing: 500g (about 6) ripe plum tomatoes 5 tbsp tomato ketchup

2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce 1 tbsp Dijon mustard Few dashes of Tabasco sauce Juice of 1 lemon 2 tbsp balsamic vinegar 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil 2 shallots, peeled and finely chopped Large handful each of tarragon and flat leaf parsley, chopped

1 To make the dressing, cut each tomato in half and squeeze out the seeds. Finely chop the flesh and place in a large bowl. Add the rest of the ingredients except for the herbs and mix well. Season well with salt and pepper to taste. Cover with cling film and chill for at least 20 minutes or until ready to serve.

Superb Wine List Authentic Traditional and Modern Greek Food

Saturday & Sunday lunches 12–2.30pm

168 South Street, Lancing Tel: 01903 765333 Email: mezemeze@gmail.com

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3 Transfer the beef to the roasting pan and place in the oven. Roast for 25 minutes for medium rare beef – it should feel a little springy when lightly pressed. Transfer the fillet to a warm platter and leave to rest for 10 minutes.

4 Serve the beef warm or at room temperature. Slice it thickly and overlap the slices on a serving platter. Pile the rocket into the centre. Stir the chopped herbs into the tomato tarragon dressing and spoon over the beef.

Accompany with new potatoes if you like.

Gordon Ramsay’s Healthy Appetite – Recipes From The F Word, is available in hardback from 2 May 2008, by Quadrille Publishing Ltd, £20, ISBN: 978-1-84400-6366

Image:Quadrille Publishing Ltd

Tuesday – Saturday evenings 6–11pm

2 Heat the oven to 200°/Gas 6 and preheat a roasting pan. Trim any fat or sinew from the fillet of beef and season all over with salt and pepper. Heat a non-stick frying pan with a little olive oil. When it is very hot, add the beef and sear for 11⁄2–2 minutes on each side until evenly browned all over. Lightly oil the hot roasting pan.

033_LS368_listingsintro

4/11/08

11:07 AM

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YOUR COMPLETE LISTINGS GUIDE STARTS HERE

latestlistings Your weekly guide to what’s on

15–21 April

“Take my mother-in-law…“ The Nivea Funny Women Brighton heat hits town, p38

Plump DJs are fattening up the floor (p50)

35 Reviews Comedian Paul Sinha is King of the World – he says – we agree

36 Stage Havana Rakatan keep up the pace at the Dome, plus reviews and listings

38 Comedy Cultural comedy confusion, Nivea Funny Women at the Komedia and all the listings

39 Film Michael Haneke, director of Funny Games, on remaking movies, plus listings

44 Art Rare exhibition of photography from the low countries

45 Music Previews of who’s hitting town and reviews of releases, plus the Latest 7 chart (p48)

50 Clubs Get up, get out and chill out, Audio’s celebrating 20 years of raving, get in...

53 Gay Stonewall raises the roof, Will Tells and all the listings, pictures and previews

58 Television Dani’s in technicolour clover, plus seven days of listings latest 7 33

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A-Z venue directory Brighton and Hove Ali Cats 80 East St, Brighton, 01273 220902 Amsterdam 11 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 688825, www.amsterdam.uk.com Aqua 23 Waterfront, Brighton Marina, 01273 819800 Aquarium 6 Steine Street, Brighton, 01273 605525, www.pleisure.com Arc 160 Kings Road Arches, Brighton, 01273 770505 Audio 10 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 606906, www.audiobrighton.com Bar Bamboogy 78 West Street, Brighton, www.bamboogy.com Barley Mow 92 St George’s Road, Brighton, 01273 682259 The Beach 171–181 Kings Road Arches, Brighton, 01273 722272 The Bee’s Mouth 10 Western Road, Hove, 01273 770083 Belushi’s 10-12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton, 01273 202035 Bom-Bane’s 24 George Street, Brighton, 01273 606400 Booth Museum Of Natural History 194 Dyke Road, Brighton, 01273 292777 Brighton Barfly 27 Gloucester Place, Brighton, 0870 9070999 Brighton Centre Kings Road, Brighton, 0870 900 9100, www.brightoncentre.co.uk Brighton College Eastern Road, Brighton, www.brightoncollege.net Brighton Dome 29 New Road, Brighton, 01273 709709, www.brighton-dome.org.uk Brighton and Hove Greyhound Stadium Nevill Road, Hove, 01273 204601, www.trap6.com/hove Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens, Brighton, 01273 292797 Brighton Peace & Environment Centre Brighton Ecocentre, 39–41 Surrey Street, Brighton, 01273 766610 Brighton Rocks 6 Rock Place, Brighton, 01273 601139 Brighton Women’s Centre 72 High Street, Brighton, 01273 698036 The Brunswick 1 Holland Road, Hove, 01273 733984 Bulldog, 31 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 696996, www.bulldogbrighton.com Caledonian 2 161 Edward Street, Brighton, 01273 323087 Candy Bar 129 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 622424, www.thecandybar.co.uk Caroline of Brunswick 39 Ditchling Road, Brighton, 01273 624434 Casablanca Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 321817 Cella Sanctuary Café, 51–55 Brunswick Street East, Hove, 01273 770006 Charles Street Bar & Club 8 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 624091, www.charles-street.com Chequers 45 Preston Street, Brighton, 01273 738718 Cineworld Brighton Marina Village, 0871 200200, www.cineworld.co.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath, 01444 455440 Concorde 2 Madeira Drive, Brighton, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk Core Club 12–15 King’s Road, Brighton, 01273 326848 Corn Exchange 29 New Road, Brighton, 01273 709709, www.brighton-dome.org.uk Cornerstone Community Centre Church Road, Hove, 01273 327757 Cosmopolitan Bar 29-31 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 682461 The Cowley Club 12 London Road, Brighton, 01273 696104, www.cowleyclub.org.uk Digital 187–193 Kings Road Arches, Brighton, 01273 227767 Doctor Brighton’s 16–17 Kings Road, Brighton, 01273 328765, www.pleisure.com Dome 29 New Road, Brighton, 01273 709709, www.brighton-dome.org.uk

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Duke of York’s Picturehouse Preston Circus, Brighton, 0871 7042056 www.picturehouses.co.uk Earth And Stars 46 Windsor Street, Brighton, 01273 722879 Education Room Royal Pavilion, Brighton, 01273 296971 Engine Room 5 Preston Street, Brighton, 01273 728999, www.engineroomclub.com Enigma 10 Ship Street, Brighton, 01273 328439 The Fishbowl 74 East Street, Brighton, 01273 777505 Fitzherberts 25 New Road, Brighton, 01273 682401 The Forager 3 Stirling Place, Hove, 01273 733134 Freebutt 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton, 01273 603974 Freemasons 39 Western Road, Hove, 01273 732043 Funky Buddha Lounge 169–170 Kings Road Arches, Brighton, 01273 725541 Funky Fish Club, New Madeira Hotel, 19–23 Marine Parade, Brighton, 07887 946158 Gap Club 61a Western Road, Hove, 0844 999 6349 The George 5 Trafalgar Street, Brighton, 01273 681055 The Globe 78 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 727114 Greenhouse Effect 63, Church Road Hove BN3 2BD 01273 204783 The Greys 105 Southover Street, Brighton, 01273 680734 The Hanbury Club 83 St George’s Road, Brighton, 01273 605789 Hare & Hounds 75 London Road, Brighton, 01273 681163 Heist 57 West Street, Brighton, 01273 822555 HQ 43 Providence Place, Brighton, 01273 620630, www.hq-brighton.co.uk Hobgoblin 31 York Place, Brighton, 01273 602519 Honeyclub 214 Kings Road Arches, 0700 446639, www.thehoneyclub.co.uk The Hope 10–12 Queen’s Road, Brighton, 01273 325793 Hove Museum & Art Gallery 19 New Church Road, Hove, 01273 290200 Hove Town Hall, Norton Road, Hove, 0870 900 9100, www.brighton-hove.gov.uk Jazz Place 10 Ship Street, Brighton, 01273 328439 Joogleberry Playhouse 14–17 Manchester Street, Brighton, 01273 687171, www.joogleberry.com The Jubilee Library Jubilee Street, Brighton, 01273 290800 Juggler Bar 21 Western Road, Hove, 01273 724195 Kabuki 9–12 Middle Street, Brighton King and Queen 13 Marlborough Place, Brighton, 01273 606207 Kitchen Bar 36 Preston Street, Brighton Koba Bar & Club 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com Komedia Gardner Street, Brighton, 01273 647100, www.komedia.co.uk KooKlub 10 Pool Valley, Brighton, 01273 321201, www.kooklub.co.uk Legends Bar & Dance 31–34 Marine Parade, Brighton, www.legendsbrighton.com Lo Lounge 106 Kings Road, Brighton, 01273 715077 London Unity 131 Islingworth Road, Brighton, 01273 681285 Marlborough Bar & Theatre 4 Princes Street, Brighton, 07786 278571, www.marlboroughtheatre.co.uk Marine Tavern 13 Broad Street, Brighton, 01273 681284

Comprehensive list of venues to complement our listings

Mint Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 0871 2072 088 New Madeira Hotel 19–23 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 698331 New Venture Theatre Bedford Place, Brighton, 01273 746118, www.newventure.org.uk Ocean Rooms 1–2 Morley Street, Brighton, 01273 699069 Odeon Cinema West Street, Brighton, 0871 224 4007, www.odeon.co.uk OHSO Social 250a Kings Road Arches, Brighton, 01273 746067 The Old Market Upper Market Street, Hove, 01273 736222 www.theoldmarket.co.uk The Park Crescent Pub 39 Park Crescent Terrace, Brighton, 01273 604993 PavTav (Pavilion Tavern) 7–8 Castle Square, Brighton, 0844 999 6331 Pavilion Theatre 29 New Road, Brighton, 01273 709709, www.brighton-dome.org.uk Penthouse (above the Freebutt), 1 Phoenix Place, Brighton, 01273 603 974 Pintxo People 95–99 Western Rd, Brighton, 01273 732323, www.pintxopeople.co.uk Portland Rock Bar 153 Portland Road, Hove, 01273 383840, www.portlandrockbar.co.uk Po Na Na Unit 2, 75–79 East Street, Brighton, 01273 777904, www.ponana.com Pressure Point 33 Richmond Place, Brighton, 01273 684501, www.pressurepoint.me.uk Preston Manor Preston Drove, Brighton, 01273 292770 Prestonville Arms 64 Hamilton Road, Brighton, 01273 701007 Prince Albert 48 Trafalgar Street, Brighton, 01273 730499 The Providence 130 Western Road, Hove, 01273 727822 The PV 22 Upper North Street, Brighton, 01273 325491, www.thepv.co.uk Queen’s Arms 7 George Street, Brighton, 01273 696873 R-Bar 7 Marine Parade, Brighton, 01273 608133, www.revenge.co.uk Red Roaster Café 1d St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 686668 Rehab Brighton Marina, 01273 675007, www.rehabbrighton.com Rendezvous Casino Brighton Marina, 01273 605602, www.rendezvouscasino.com Revenge 32 Old Steine, Brighton, 01273 606064, www.revenge.co.uk Revue Bar 19 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 607456 Riki Tik 18a Bond Street, Brighton, 01273 683844 Sky Bar 54–55 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, www.skybarbrighton.com Star Inn 5–9 Manchester Street, Brighton, 01273 601450 St Christophers 10–12 Grand Junction Road, Brighton. 01273 202035 Suga Qube 5 Castle Square, Brighton, 01273 770246 Sussex Arts Club 7 Ship Street, Brighton, 01273 778020 Theatre Royal New Road, Brighton, 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Three and Ten 10 Steine Street, Brighton Tru 78 West Street, Brighton, 01273 321628, www.trubrighton.com V2 5 Steine Street, Brighton, 01273 609672 Vanilla Bar 73a Western Road, Hove, 01273 748182 Vavoom 31 Old Steine, Brighton, 01273 603010 Volks The Colonnade, 3 Madeira Drive, Brighton, 01273 682828, www.volksclub.co.uk Western Front Near Churchill Square, Brighton 01273 725656 White Horse 30 Camelford Street, Brighton, 01273 603726

Wild Fruit Tru, 78 West Street, Brighton, www.wildfruit.co.uk West Hill Hall Compton Avenue, Brighton Zoot Street Bar Queens Road, Brighton, 01273 737770 The Zone 33 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 682249

Around Sussex The Anchor Inn Anchor Lane, Barcombe, 01273 400414, www.anchorinnandboating.co.uk The Black Horse High Street, Findon, Worthing, 01903 872301 Bluebell Railway Sheffield Park Station, East Sussex, 01825 720800 Café Blue Pevensey Road, Eastbourne, 07834 405675 The Capitol North Street, Horsham, 01403 750220 Chichester Festival Theatre Oaklands Park, 01243 781312, www.cft.org.uk Clair Hall Perrymount Road, Haywards Heath, 01444 455440 Drusillas Park Alfriston, Polegate, 01323 874100 Eastbourne Congress Theatre Carlisle Road, Eastbourne, 01323 412000, www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Eastbourne Devonshire Park Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne, 01323 412000, www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Eastbourne Royal Hippodrome Theatre 108 Seaside Road, Eastbourne, 01323 412000, www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Eastbourne Winter Garden Theatre Compton Street, Eastbourne, 01323 412000, www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Fountain Inn High Street, Handcross, 01444 400218, www.fountainpub.co.uk The Half Brick 221 Brighton Road, Worthing, 01903 234196 The Hawth Hawth Avenue, Crawley, 01293 553636, www.hawth.co.uk Horsham Folk Club The Normandy Centre, Denne Road, Horsham, 01306 875653, www.horshamfolkclub.co.uk Jack Horner 80 High Street, Worthing, 01903 236427 Malling Community Centre Spences Lane, Lewes, 01273 477931, www.mallingcommunitycentre.com Martlets Martlets Hall, Civic Way, Burgess Hill, 01444 242888 Royal Oak Station Street, Lewes, 01273 478124 The Shoreham Centre 2 Pond Road, Shoreham-by-Sea, 01273 454686 St Thomas à Beckett Church Hall Cliffe High Street, Lewes United Reformed Church Clinton Place, corner of Broad Street, Seaford Worthing Assembly Hall Union Place, Worthing, 01903 206206, www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Museum & Art Gallery Chapel Road, Worthing, 01903 221140 Worthing Connaught Theatre Union Place, Worthing, 01903 206206, www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Pavilion Theatre Marine Parade, Worthing, 01903 206206, www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

■ We try to ensure all event details are correct but regret we cannot be held responsible for any inaccuracies. Please check directly with the venue before travelling ■

035_LS368_reviews

4/11/08

2:18 PM

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Under review We tell it like it was – a round up of recent local shows HOT REVIEW OF THE WEEK

Paul Sinha – King Of The World As the self-proclaimed only gay Asian qualified GP comic on the circuit – his parents are so proud of his change of career, he jokes – Paul should have something of an exclusive corner in the comedy scenario world. Funnily enough, his comedy is all-inclusive, picking out the points in his life when he’s felt both king of the world and bottom of the heap. With highlights such as getting a particularly difficult question right on Sky television’s short-lived version of University Challenge and lows of feeling like a particularly large prat on numerous gigglesome occasions, the main theme of the show is to seize the day – which he does with gusto.

A feel-good show without being wet or preachy, although recited somewhat and slightly lacking that spontaneous zest that ups so many comedians' game, the show itself is fantastic fun. Support from Stuart Goldsmith was entertaining too – awkwardly mixing close to the bone with general geniality in the material.

Komedia, 30 March ✌✌✌✌

Cibelle The Komedia gig was warmly met by everyone. It started at a very slow, softly-softly tempo, ever building with clever loops and mounting beats. Cibelle has a very sweet, lifting voice which carries you off on a whimsical, lyrical journey. Although she may not be a household name in the UK, not yet anyway, it’s guaranteed that her work will demand an evergrowing following. Check out some of her earlier vocals on the late artist Suba’s album, Sao Paulo Confessions.

Komedia, 3 April ✌✌✌✌

we were all now underwater worked surprisingly well.

‘The End of the World Show’ gave a cabaret feel to the night, performing sketches and songs between stand-up comedians.

Highlights included Felicity Ventom enticing a member of the audience to recreate a scene from Titanic, geeky surrealist Lee Hume’s jazz version of the Jaws theme tune and Phil Dukes coming out of the Dr Who closet.

Judging from the launch this night looks pretty buoyant.

More Bar, 31 March ✌✌✌✌

Giles Davies

Single Spies What a joy to see real theatre.

Two plays from the brilliant hand of Alan Bennett about traitors Guy Burgess and Sir Anthony Blunt.

Plays about spies and honour, and sexuality and doing what one thinks is right at the time.

Nigel Havers played both roles brilliantly, the screaming queen Burgess, drunk but loveable, Blunt the dry academic haunted by his past actions and his sexuality.

Havers proved that he is an actor of great talent, luxuriating in Bennett's text and the demands of such different roles. Diana Quick played actress Coral Browne with conviction, although her HM the Queen was less convincing despite looking rather like her.

On stage the first play An English Man Abroad is far more effecting than the TV film and Havers outshines Alan Bates by miles. In A Question of Attribution the star is Bennett, a tour de force of witty and intelligent puzzling over the simple concept of attributing blame, whether for treason or for art.

Theatre Royal, 7 April ✌✌✌✌

Kris Kristofferson Struggling with a snotty nose and dressed in various shades of charcoal grey, he came armed only with a guitar, a harmonica and a music stand for company, and led us through what was effectively a greatest songs package.

For it is his songs that he is best known for (and as an actor): ‘Me And Bobby McGee’, 'Take The Ribbon From Your Hair’, ‘Sunday Morning Coming Down’, ‘Help Me Make It Through The Night’ reminding us that as a songwriter there aren’t many in his league.

Charming as always, he was taken with the Dome as a venue, and engaged a knowledgeable Brighton audience, who lapped up perhaps a last opportunity (he’s in his 70s) to witness a legend.

Brighton Dome, 31 March ✌✌✌✌✌ Jeff Hemmings

Radio West Pier Comedy Another new comedy night! This one was hosted by self-styled West Pier Radio host Matt Whistler whose shambolic style, clever use of handstands and insistence that

Jim Holland

Andrew Kay

Victoria Nangle

Dave Gorman America Unchained book reading This is basically Dave Gorman's attempt to travel across the United States without visiting any big corporate chains, even for fuel, which proved to be his biggest challenge of the trip.

Dave set out to explain how he was talked into filming the road trip by his manager. After setting the scene, he read an extract that was not featured on TV. It was

witty, well written and definitely convinced me that it would be worth reading.

It seemed fitting that this event was held at an independent venue and promoted by a non-chain ‘mom and pop’ book shop, echoing many of the things Gorman set out to highlight and document before they disappear.

The Old Market, 4 April ✌✌✌✌ Rob Burdick

If you would like your event reviewed by our writers please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

Phil Dukes

latest 7 35

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4/10/08

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THEATRE, DANCE&OPERA

STAGELISTINGS

From Tuesday 15 April to Monday 5 May ABOVE THREE AND TEN 10 Steine Street, Brighton Playhouse Creatures/A Life in the Theatre Double bill from Hello id, first following the lives of five extraordinary women competing for the limelight and for rich patrons in the tumultuous 1660s. Then an exploration of the mentor/tutor relationship that’s pushed to the limits as actors struggle through a season trying not to miss cues... (www.hello-id.co.uk) • Fri 2–Sun 4 May & Sun 25 May, 7.45pm, £9/8

BRIGHTON DOME 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Havana Rakatan Dance spectacular direct from Cuba – Ballet Rakatan turn up the heat with shimmies, struts, salsas and rumbas through Cuba’s rich cultural heritage.

• Tue 15–Wed 16 April, 7.30pm, £10-22.50 Veil – Horse and Bamboo Theatre The historic tension between the east and west provides a compelling backdrop to a powerful story of secrecy, visions and violence. Masks, puppetry, music and film bring it all to life.

For ages 14+.

• Fri 18 April, 7.30pm, £12.50/7.50 The Bourgeois Gentleman by Moliere Presented by Sussex Downs College CoVE. Contact the venue for more information.

• Fri 25 April, 7pm, £6/4 The Hypochondriac by Moliere Presented by Sussex Downs College CoVE. Contact the venue for more information.

• Sat 26 April, 7pm, £6/4 Othello Sussex Downs College CoVE present Shakespeare’s classic play.

• Sun 27 April, 7pm, £6/4 The Taming of the Shrew Sussex Downs College CoVE production of Shakespeare’s classic play.

• Mon 28 April, 7pm, £6/4

THE CAPITOL, HORSHAM 01403 750220 www.thecapitolhorsham.com Petrushka This innovative and exciting new Krazy Kat theatre experience takes place in a circular structure representing a fairground.

The audience sit on lowstools, allowing them to turn and watch as the action occurs around them. Original show for families.

• Fri 18–Sat 19 April, please call for show times, £6/5/22 family ticket The Boy Friend At Madame Dubonnet’s finishing school for ‘perfect young ladies’, English heiress Polly Browne dreams of having a boyfriend and then finds romance blossom unexpectedly when she falls for a delivery boy.

• Tue 15–Sat 19 April, please call for show times, £10-15 Danny The Champion of the World The Birmingham Stage Company present Roald Dahl’s best-loved book. Facing eviction, can one little boy defeat a rich and powerful landowner?

• Mon 21–Thu 24 April, please call for show times and prices.

EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Rick Wakeman’s Grumpy Old Picture Show Telling his life story using previously unseen film and pictures, Rick couples this show with some classic music from the piano and keyboards.

• Sat 19 April, 7.30pm, £23.50 Barney Live – The Let’s Go Tour Full of wonder, laughter and audience participation this entertaining children’s show promises a perfect trip to the theatre for all the little dinosaurs in your life!

• Sun 20 April, 2.30pm, £11.50/10/40 family of four London Philharmonic Orchestra A huge, profound and touching piece that sees, in part, a loosening of the Brahmsian collar in the effortless, touching beauty of its Adagio. With a free pre36 latest 7

concert event 2–2.30pm for ticket holders.

• Sun 27 April, 3pm, £11–27.50 Shout! The Swingin’ Sixties Musical Starring Claire Sweeney and Su Pollard, twist and shout your way around swinging London with classic pop anthems ‘Downtown,’ ‘Son of a Preacher Man,’ ‘These Boots are Made For Walking’ and many more.

• Mon 28 April–Sat 2 May, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Thur, £13.50–22.50

EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk And Then There Were None Agatha Christie’s best-selling thriller about a group of ten strangers invited to a remote island who soon start dropping one by one...

• Tue 15–Sat 19 April, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm wed and Sat, £13.50–19.50 Dad’s Army One of the most popular and revered British comedies of all time, Dad’s Army is back – and it’s live on stage.

• Mon 28 April–Sat 3 May, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Wed and Sat, £13.50–19.50

THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Don Giovanni English Touring Opera present Mozart’s great opera about three women who plot the downfall of the infamous seducer Don Juan. Sung in English.

• Fri 18 April, please call for show times and prices Anna Bolena English Touring Opera are back for a second night, this time with Donizetti’s bel canto thriller. As her thousand days on the throne draw to a close, Anne Boleyn is still fighting – until she meets again the man she loved before Henry VIII. • Sat 19 April, please call for show times and prices Shadow Play Suitable for ages two-four, a vibrant mix of music, dance, mime and design.

The Shadow Play characters add light, texture, sounds and materials to take the audience on a wondrous journey.

• Sat 19 April, please call for show times and prices 42nd Street Crawley Operatic Society present 42nd Street, a celebration of Broadway and the people involved in shows, with great fast paced classic behind the scenes action.

• Tue 22-Sat 26 April, please call for show times and prices

THE OPEN HOUSE Dome box office: 01273 709709 www.brightonticketshop.com Roy and Tony’s Club Fortnightly comedy show from former Perrier Nominees, Roy Hutchins and Tony Haase. The double act strays into music, poetry and flights of fancy.

The Open House, Springfield Road, Brighton.

• Fri 18 April, 2 May, 8.30pm, £8/6

THEATRE ROYAL 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Lionel Bart’s Oliver Award-winning musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic tale that will leave you begging for more. A great family musical for the holidays.

• Tue 15–Sat 19 April, 7.45pm and 2.30pm Thu, Fri and Sat, £11-22 Equus Simon Callow appears in the West End phenomenon about a 17-year-old with a strange obsession with horses.

• Mon 21–Sat 26 April, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm Thu and Sat, £17-27 South Pacific Rodgers & Hammerstein’s celebrated musical masterpiece about a naïve navy nurse who falls in love with a middle-aged French plantation owner.

Featuring the classic song ‘Some Enchanted Evening’ and more.

• Mon 28–Sat 3 May, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm Thu and Sat, £20–30

WORTHING: ASSEMBLY HALL 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk An Evening with Jimmy Greaves Anecdotes of a life as an after dinner speaker, TV personality and truly great footballer.

• Thursday 17 April, 7.30pm, £16.50/14.50 The Spirit of Pavarotti 24-year-old Lee Bradley presents all the favourite hits of the legendary superstar. With special guests, international soprano Serenna Wagner and classical pianist Melanie Jones.

• Sat 19 April, 7.30pm, £16.50/15

The Mighty Wurlitzer Theatre Organ Sussex Theatre Organ Trust presents The Mighty Wurlitzer Theatre Organ in a Worthing Celebrity Concert featuring Jim Riggs from The Paramount Oakland.

• Sun 27 April, 3pm, £9–16

WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Doctor in the House A new touring production of one of the most well-loved comedy series of the 20th century, with humour similar to that of the Carry On films.

• Tue 15–Sat 19 April, 7.30pm and 2pm Wed, 2.30pm Sat. From £13

WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Ugly Duckling Spring holiday special – great fun for all ages. Relive Hans Christian Anderson’s well-loved tale.

• Tue 15 April, 2pm, £9.50 adults, £7.50 children, £28 family of 4.

Pam Ann – Terror at 41,000 Feet The air hostess to the stars is back with a new show to put a thrill in flying! Sexy, rude and funny.

•Wed 16 April, 8pm, £17 Disney’s High School Musical ANYONE4THEATRE present their version of the hit musical film that has won the heart of the nation’s youngsters. A modern-day Grease.

•Fri 18–Sat 19 April, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm matinee Sat, £7/5 Music, Music, Music Feast of good music and memories with stars from The Black and White Minstrel Show and the many famous George Mitchell TV Shows.

•Wed 23 April, 2pm, £10 The Rat Pack Vegas Spectacular Exciting stage show featuring the greatest music of the 20th century. Every song is an absolute classic including ‘Come Fly With Me’, ‘Volare’ and ‘Under My Skin’.

•Sat 26 April, 7.30pm, £16

KOMEDIA 01273 647100 www.komedia.co.uk Backward Glance – Multistory Theatre Hands reaching, a severed head preaching – can the world be put back together again?

Words and physical imagery. Ages 16+.

• Sat 3 May, 6pm, £6/5 Exposures Experimental, urban theatre that invites its audience to use the city like a playground or a film set; to see it anew as a place of adventure, of danger and of history.

• Sat 3–Sun 4 May, 11am–4pm, £10

THE METHVENS STUDIO Methvens Bookshop, South St, Worthing 01903 267729 The Death of Nelson Robert Cohen’s one-man show. For more information on the play visit monkeydoggery.googlepages.com • Wed 16 and Thu 17 April, 7.30pm, £6

NEW VENTURE THEATRE 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Mojo Jez Butterworth’s jet-black comedy Mojo, set in a Soho nightclub in 1958. The play charts the grisly, amphetamine-fuelled events of a summer weekend at Ezra’s Atlantic Club.

• Sat 3–Sat 17 May, 7.45pm except Sunday and Mondays. Sunday mat 2.30pm, £7.50

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

000_LS367 Brighton centre

4/2/08

11:31 AM

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4/10/08

10:24 AM

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STAND-UP COMEDY

A laughing matter Victoria Nangle wonders if shared experiences are required to enjoy an evening of laughter When out-of-towners come to stay there are a few things that when told help them to understand life in this seaside city. We will invariably bump into no less than two people we know when walking through the North Laine of a weekend daytime (weather permitting). The weather may change completely within a period of five minutes, shifting from snow to sun to sleet at any time during the month of April. One in five people that you meet will be in a band. We all know this survival information, and other localised facts, as givens but what do we do when when a severe out-of-towner, ie someone from abroad proper, comes to see a comedy show with us? How localised is our comedy, even from the national comics?

“With references to Red Ken, Simon Cowell and even GPs, my European friend was quite lost” Comedy frequently comes from shared experiences taking an abrupt right turn. Whether it’s watching Blockbusters as a kid and sniggering when Robin from Derby says: “Can I have a P please, Bob” or simply listing the the wonders of the world as residing in Cairo, Madagascar and the Blackwall Tunnel, these are using the familiar to bring about a chuckle. The difficulty lies when your audience has never seen Blockbusters and wouldn’t like to say what they thought the Blackwall Tunnel was in polite company. Our localised material goes a lot further than we consider. With references to Red Ken, Simon Cowell and even GPs, my European friend was looking quite lost. Common language?

Not a problem. Common experience? A bit of a hitch.

LIVE COMEDY PICK OF THE WEEK

Nivea Funny Women Brighton heats Some people say women can’t be funny. Here is proof that those people are catagorically, absolutely and fundamentally wrong. With previous winners of this prestigious title including our very own if.commedie Best Newcomer 2007 nominee and Bent Double host Zoe Lyons, it’s time to gather and check out what Brighton has to offer in the way of female comedy this year and give them our support.

With last year’s finalist and Brighton local Katy Schutte hosting, we already know we have a mighty vein of talent to show off. A great night of up and coming comics headlined by Adams and Rae. Sisters are definitely doing it for themselves.

Thursday 17 April, 8pm, £6, Komedia

But then, as comics, we spend a lot of our time picking out the things that make us laugh and then discarding the bits that no one else will get anyway. Whether they’re too rude or a call-back reference to something you realise in later years that only your granny on your mother’s side ever used to say, reasonably universal is something we all have to strive for.

There’s little point in constructing a gag where the punchline is: “And the toffees were in my bag all the time!” in order to pastiche an older joke, if the original transpires to be something your dad made up after one too many Christmas sherries.

Cultural references are a minefield, with who gets what, and who was brought up with the same TV shows as you, the same breakfast cereal and the same school syllabus counting for a lot. They’re also a fruitful harvest for things that make us all laugh. It’s interesting how much of what makes us laugh as a country comes from what makes us different from anywhere else. Americans, Canadians and Aussies come here for our incredible comedy circuit and then have to watch Captain Pugwash to get it all. Lucky us to get the crammer growing up.

☺

Stand-up wisdom: “I have a new girlfriend. She’s in make-up. By that I mean she’s not real.” Stuart Goldsmith

COMEDYLISTINGS 15–21 April Thursday 17 Funny Haha Your regular compere, Julie Jepson, burst onto the comedy circuit only last year when she reached the final of the Funny Women Comedy Awards 2005 on only her third gig. Tonight she’s joined by a collection of local acts and a main circuit headliner, for your delectation.

Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £7 Nivea Funny Women Award – Brighton Heat Now in it's sixth year, make sure you show local pride and support the Brighton heat of the Funny Women stand-up competition. We’ve got some crackers.

Komedia, 8pm, £6 TBC Comedy A brand new weekly comedy night from this fantastic seafront venue.

Joining regular compere Rufus Hound will be circuit favourites Ian Stone, Adrian Poynton and Ava Vidal. The Brighton Coalition, 7.30pm, £10/8 (2 for 1)

Friday 18 Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Assured quality stand-up from John Moloney, Markus Birdman and Gordon

38 latest 7

Southern. MC Rufus Hound.

Komedia, 7:30pm, £12.50/10

Saturday 19 Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Assured quality stand-up from John Moloney, Markus Birdman and Gordon Southern. MC Rufus Hound. Komedia, 7pm and 10.30pm, £16.50 Cheeky Devil This month the headline act is Shazia Mirza, opening act is Tom Deacon, open spot acts are Robin Buckland and Laura Mugridge. All hosted by regular compere Paul McCaffrey.

Three And Ten, 8pm, £8/7 Paul McCaffrey

Sunday 20 Kronenbourg Krater Comedy Club Assured quality stand-up from John Moloney, Markus Birdman and Gordon Southern. MC Stephen Grant.

Komedia, 8pm, £10/6

039_LS368_filmintro

4/9/08

2:45 PM

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latest film

Interview, previews, listings and reviews from the world of film with Craig Driver & Nick Aldwinckle Tim Roth and Naomi Watts

Some people might argue that one remedy would be not to make the film in the first place.

Then you cannot deal with the subject in a serious manner.

When producer Chris Coen approached you to do the remake, you agreed to do it only if Naomi Watts would star. Why? It was the same thing with my previous film The Piano Teacher, where I said I would only do it if Isabelle Huppert would take the lead role.

As far as Naomi is concerned, I believe she had the necessary vulnerability to do this role ideally. I saw two films from her, Mulholland Drive and 21 Grams, and it was fantastic.

Just a game?

Latest 7 talks to Austrian director Michael Haneke about his remake of 1997 film Funny Games The new version of Funny Games is almost identical to the original. Why did you decide to make it?

Because the German-language version did not find the English-language audience for which the film was originally meant.

Had Tim Roth and Naomi Watts seen the first Funny Games?

They watched the film beforehand in order to know what they were getting into. But then during the shooting, I told them not to watch it again because it would have made them very dependent on the prior acting.

Would it be correct to say that the film is a critique of Hollywood’s casual approach to movie violence?

If you want to interpret it that way, I don’t mind.

How else should we interpret it?

I actually never give interpretations of my own films. It is up to the film critics and the audience to do their own interpretations.

Is it true that the original Funny Games was partly inspired by your dislike of Oliver Stone’s Natural Born Killers and Pulp Fiction?

Well, it’s true that I despise Natural Born Killers but that was not the reason for me to do the original film, no. I saw Pulp Fiction of course, and it’s a very well done film. The problem, as I see it, is with its comedy – there’s a danger there, because the humour makes the violence consumable. Humour of that kind is all right, even useful, as long as the viewer is made to think about why they’re laughing. But that’s something Pulp Fiction fails to do. Stone with Natural Born Killers made the same mistake that Kubrick made. I use that film to illustrate a principle to my students – that you can’t make an anti-fascist statement using fascist methods.

Why do you show almost no acts of actual onscreen violence in Funny Games?

I don’t really want to be part of this violence pornography of the mass media.

Do you consider this your most confrontational film, or consider yourself a confrontational filmmaker?

Yes, of course the film is a provocation. It’s meant as a provocation, and of course, all the rules that usually make the viewer go home happy and contented are broken in my film.

There’s this unspoken rule that you can’t harm animals. What do I do? I kill the dog first thing.

The same thing with the boy. You’re not supposed to break the illusion. What do I do? I break the illusion. It’s the principle of the whole film. It’s a very ironic film. I look at the viewer directly, I talk to them, I wink at them. I do this again and again to show how much one can manipulate. In view of this overriding illusion in movies, it’s a good idea to create a little bit of mistrust in the verité, in the truth of moving pictures. I hope that the slap in the face that I’m trying to give works here in England as well.

Based on what you’ve just said it does seem like you intend the film to be a critique of Hollywood violence.

Yes, of course, I’ve never said otherwise. I’ve said in many interviews that I very much dislike the consummation of violence as it is depicted in some Hollywood movies. I’m not making any secret out of that.

There are points in Funny Games when Michael Pitt’s character breaks the fourth wall and suggests, in effect, that he wouldn’t be committing these terrible acts if we – the audience – weren’t watching.

You seem to be basically encouraging people to get up and leave the cinema.

[Laughs] I always say, those who watch the film to the end apparently needed it. Those who leave earlier apparently didn’t.

It seems ironic that the Funny Games films are polemics against violence, yet the original seems to have this reputation for being such a violent film.

Yes, of course. It is a violent film because it doesn’t allow you to consummate the violence.

Usually, in an action film, violence is depicted in such a way that it doesn’t hurt the audience.

As an audience, you feel good about it. It’s almost like you got on a rollercoaster — it’s a thrill. In my films what I’m trying to do is depict violence in such a way that it becomes reality again for the audience.

Do you ever worry that your films will be enjoyed because of their violence?

Well, you know, there aren’t really any remedies against misunderstanding.

Michael Pitt

Was there a story or any experiences that you based this on?

It wasn’t influenced by any event or anything in particular. When I did Benny’s Video, which was done before the first Funny Games, I had depicted violence but I felt that not everything was said. I was thinking about how I could continue this dialogue. The ironic thing is that when I did Funny Games and it was finished, but not released anywhere yet, there was a story in a German news magazine, Der Spiegel, about two young men in Spain who had taken a man from the street and tortured him to death.

And they wore white gloves. When they were asked in prison if they felt any remorse, one of them wrote an essay and said: “No.” They quoted Nietzsche all the time. They said this guy who they murdered was a third class individual anyway. So you can’t invent anything that is worse than what happens in reality.

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FILM 1himself. Following the recent death of his own daughter

www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 15 21 (12A) 11.30, 2.30, 5.30, 8.15 27 DRESSES (12A) 5.15, 8.00 BEE MOVIE (U) 10.45 DRILLBIT TAYLOR (12A) 11.00, 1.30, 4.00 HORTON HEARS A WHO! (U) 11.00, 1.00, 3.15 LEATHERHEADS (PG) 12.30, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 NEVER BACK DOWN (15) 8.45 REC (18) 1.00, 3.00, 5.00, 7.00, 9.00 SHINE A LIGHT (12A) 8.30 SON OF RAMBOW (12A) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.15 STEP UP 2: THE STREETS (PG) 11.15, 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL (12A) 6.30 THE SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES (PG) 11.00, 1.15, 3.45, 6.15

Wednesday 16 21 (12A) 11.30, 2.30, 5.30, 8.15 27 DRESSES (12A) 5.15, 8.00 BEE MOVIE (U) 10.45 DRILLBIT TAYLOR (12A) 11.00, 1.30, 4.00 HORTON HEARS A WHO! (U) 11.00, 1.00, 3.15 LEATHERHEADS (PG) 12.30, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 NEVER BACK DOWN (15) 8.45 REC (18) 1.00, 3.00, 5.00, 7.00, 9.00 SHINE A LIGHT (12A) 8.30 SON OF RAMBOW (12A) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.15 STEP UP 2: THE STREETS (PG) 11.15, 1.30, 4.00,

6.30, 9.00 THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL (12A) 6.30 THE SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES (PG) 11.00, 1.15, 3.45, 6.15

Thursday 17 21 (12A) 11.30, 2.30, 5.30, 8.15 27 DRESSES (12A) 5.15, 8.00 BEE MOVIE (U) 10.45 DRILLBIT TAYLOR (12A) 11.00, 1.30, 4.00 HORTON HEARS A WHO! (U) 11.00, 1.00, 3.15 IN THE VALLEY OF ELAH (15) 10.30 LEATHERHEADS (PG) 12.30, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 NEVER BACK DOWN (15) 8.45 REC (18) 1.00, 3.00, 5.00, 7.00, 9.00 SHINE A LIGHT (12A) 8.30 SON OF RAMBOW (12A) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.15 STEP UP 2: THE STREETS (PG) 11.15, 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL (12A) 6.30 SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES (PG) 11.00, 1.15, 3.45

Films showing Friday 18–Monday 21 21 (12A) FOOL’S GOLD (12A) IN BRUGES (18) LEATHERHEADS (PG) ONE MISSED CALL (15) REC (18) SHINE A LIGHT (12A) SON OF RAMBOW (12A) STREET KINGS (15) CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILMS/TIMES

www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 15

Saturday 19

SHINE A LIGHT (12A) 6.30, 9.30 THE CONFORMIST (RE)(18) 4.00

HAPPY-GO-LUCKY(15) 4.00, 9.00 LARS AND THE REAL GIRL (12A) 6.30 MR MAGORIUM’S WONDER EMPORIUM (U) 11.00

Wednesday 16

Sunday 20

HAPPY-GO-LUCKY + Q & A(15) 6.30 SHINE A LIGHT (12A) 9.30 THE CONFORMIST (RE)(18) 4.00

HAPPY-GO-LUCKY(15) 4.00, 9.00 LARS AND THE REAL GIRL (12A) 1.30, 6.30 PERSEPOLIS (12A) 11.00

Thursday 17

Monday 21

SHINE A LIGHT (12A) 6.30, 9.30 THE CONFORMIST (RE)(18) 4.00

HAPPY-GO-LUCKY(15) 4.00, 9.00 LARS AND THE REAL GIRL (12A) 6.30

Friday 18 BLADE RUNNER: THE FINAL CUT (15) 11.00pm HAPPY-GO-LUCKY(15) 3.30, 8.45 LARS AND THE REAL GIRL (12A) 6.15

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILMS/TIMES

www.cineworld.co.uk

0871 200 2000 Tuesday 15 21 (12A) 12.20, 3.10, 6.00, 9.00 27 DRESSES (12A) 2.50, 5.50, 8.30 AWAKE (15) 6.40, 8.50 DRILLBIT TAYLOR (12A) 12.10 HANNAH MONTANA 3D: BEST OF BOTH WORLDS CONCERT TOUR (U) 10.50, 12.40 HORTON HEARS A WHO! (U) 12.00, 2.20, 4.30 LEATHERHEADS (PG) 12.50, 3.40,6.30, 9.20 NEVER BACK DOWN (15) 9.10 PATHOLOGY (18) 2.30, 4.50, 7.15, 9.40 SON OF RAMBOW (12A) 11.00, 1.30, 3.50, 6.10, 8.40 STEP UP 2: THE STREETS (PG) 11.40, 2.10, 4.40, 7.05, 9.30 THE SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES (PG) 11.10, 1.40, 4.20, 6.50

Wednesday 16 21 (12A) 12.20, 3.10, 6.00, 9.00 27 DRESSES (12A) 2.50, 5.50, 8.30 AWAKE (15) 6.40, 8.50 DRILLBIT TAYLOR (12A) 12.10 HANNAH MONTANA 3D: BEST OF BOTH WORLDS CONCERT TOUR (U) 10.50, 12.40 HORTON HEARS A WHO! (U) 12.00, 2.20, 4.30 LEATHERHEADS (PG) 12.50, 3.40,6.30, 9.20 NEVER BACK DOWN (15) 9.10

PATHOLOGY (18) 2.30, 4.50, 7.15, 9.40 SON OF RAMBOW (12A) 11.00, 1.30, 3.50, 6.10, 8.40 STEP UP 2: THE STREETS (PG) 11.40, 2.10, 4.40, 7.05, 9.30 THE SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES (PG) 11.10, 1.40, 4.20, 6.50

Thursday 17 21 (12A) 12.20, 3.10, 6.00, 9.00 27 DRESSES (12A) 2.50, 5.50, 8.30 AWAKE (15) 6.40, 8.50 DRILLBIT TAYLOR (12A) 12.10 HANNAH MONTANA 3D: BEST OF BOTH WORLDS CONCERT TOUR (U) 10.50, 12.40 HORTON HEARS A WHO! (U) 12.00, 2.20, 4.30 LEATHERHEADS (PG) 12.50, 3.40, 6.30, 9.20 NEVER BACK DOWN (15) 9.10 PATHOLOGY (18) 2.30, 4.50, 7.15, 9.40 SON OF RAMBOW (12A) 11.00, 1.30, 3.50, 6.10, 8.40 STEP UP 2: THE STREETS (PG) 11.40, 2.10, 4.40, 7.05, 9.30 THE SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES (PG) 11.10, 1.40, 4.20, 6.50

Films showing Friday 18–Monday 21 IN BRUGES (18) LEATHERHEADS (PG) PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA FOR FILMS/TIMES

WORTHING CINEMA 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Tues 15-Thurs 17

Tues 15-Thurs 17

SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES (PG) 2.00

THE BANK JOB (15) 8.00

Tues 15-Thurs 17

THE SIMPSONS MOVIE (PG) 10.15

THE GAME PLAN (U) 5.15

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Sat 19

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM SHOWING TIMES

L7 lowdown New releases reviewed

7 Selects

[REC] (18) Dir: Jaume Balagueró/Paco Plaza This self-proclaimed DIY Spanish horror revolves around a television reporter and her cameraman who cover the night shift in one of Barcelona’s fire stations. When on a routine mission one night all hell breaks loose as an unknown disease infects people, making them become infected cannibals. With echoes of

Lars & the Real Girl (12A)

Dir: Craig Gillespie Ryan Gosling continues to mark himself out as one to watch in this weirdly ornate comedy. Lars Lindstrom is a nervous young man who finally brings the girl of his dreams home to meet the family. The only problem is that she’s not real – she’s a prosthetic sex doll ordered off the internet. But sex is not what Lars has in mind, but rather a meaningful relationship built on trust and kindness. Emily Mortimer and Paul Schneider co-star in this likeable, if slightly subdued, tale of one slightly shy man and his perfectly manicured doll.

Showing at Duke of York’s

Leatherheads (PG)

Dir: George Clooney This $58million flop has put a bit of a dent in George Clooney’s path to righteous sainthood over in America.

A dull and conceited romantic comedy set in the world of 1920s American football, Clooney not only directs but stars as the owner of a professional team who drafts a straitlaced college sensation to save the club. The chirpy guff comes when Renée Zellweger turns up and causes the two men to fall out in predictably old-school fashion. With Clooney rehashing his O Brother Where Art Thou comic posturing and Zellweger

The Blair Witch Project and 28 Days Later this is a low-budget affair riddled with genuine frights and chills. A swift and devastating shock to the system, Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza have crafted a film not only beautiful and brave, but vicious in its aspirations and political vigour.

Craig Driver Showing at Odeon

reaching a new level of smugness, this is a bloated and insipid film.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

Pathology (18)

Dir: Marc Schoelermann With the oh-so-knowing tagline ‘No body is safe’ this nasty little adventure follows a group of medical students as they try to outwit each other by committing the perfect murder. Milo Ventimiglia, Peter Petrelli from Heroes, takes his first leading role as an attractive but dull student as the corpses pile up and the morals disintegrate. With a host of entirely uncharismatic actors working to their full mediocre potential this is a precocious film, at once nauseating and banal. It may be gory and full of dread but for more immediate medicinal thrills go and rent Flatliners and rejoice as Kiefer Sutherland strokes his mullet.

Showing at Cineworld

Happy-Go-Lucky (15)

Dir: Mike Leigh After the sobering abortion drama of Vera Drake, Mike Leigh has lightened the tone. In this gentle, freewheeling drama the white working class of London get the limelight. Forged out of improvisation the film tells the story of primary school teacher Poppy and her chirpy adventures. Sally Hawkins in the lead role gives a theatrical and joy-filled performance. While the hyperreal dialogue may be an acquired taste this is Leigh at his most humane. The relentless non-ironic cheer on display manages to be both affecting and endearing. With shades of the surreal this quirky effort is original and refreshing.

Showing at Duke of York’s

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FILM

Also showing…

A quick look at this week’s films 27 Dresses (12A) Dir: Anne Fletcher After the gross-out/romantic comedy hybrid that was Knocked Up, Katherine Heigl goes for a full-blown romcom with this saga about your standard gal who’s always the bridesmaid, never the bride until she falls in love with her sister’s fiancé. Cue, presumably, lots of kooky support-cast silliness, good-natured indecision and general unashamed fluffiness. James Marsden and Edward Burns co-star as the requisite chick-flick eye candy.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Awake (15) Dir: Joby Harold Baby Vader Hayden Christensen and Jessica Alba star in this psychological thriller based on the idea that a certain percentage of people are actually awake during their surgery, though unable to tell anyone as their body’s anaesthetised. Christensen plays a wealthy man with a potentially fatal heart condition who goes in for surgery only to find himself conscious of his surroundings. To his horror, he can not only feel the surgery, but also becomes aware of his fiancée (Alba) and his surgeon conspiring to kill him. An interesting idea for a Hollywood thriller, this should provide plenty of squirmy moments and dramatic irony.

Showing at Cineworld The Bank Job (15) Dir: Roger Donaldson Something a bit different to the traditional post90s template of the Brit crime flick here.

Chrome-domed lunk Jason Statham continues his steady rise up the action star ranks following the likes of Lock Stock, Snatch and theTransporter films with this ambitious tale.

Statham plays a real-life bank robber who pulls off a daring heist at Baker Street, only to become entangled in a web of complications.

Adding a conspiracy angle to proceedings, the government, royal family and various underworld goons get involved as Statham and co try to keep their heads above water.

Showing at Worthing Blade Runner: The Final Cut(15) Dir: Ridley Scott Seen by many as Alien and Gladiator director Ridley Scott’s masterpiece, this cyberpunk thriller reappears in (yet) another re-edited version, this time leaner and more concise than the previous three theatrical releases. Harrison Ford plays Deckard, a specialist cop assigned to track down some rogue androids (known as replicants) in a dystopian near-future LA. With perfectly casted support from Rutger Hauer, Sean Young and Daryl Hannah, an unsettling synth score by Vangelis and unique neon-lit landscapes, this should be seen with all the widescreen majesty of the big screen.

Showing at Duke of York’s

Drillbit Taylor (12A) Dir: Steven Brill This is Owen Wilson’s comeback after a reported suicide attempt and follows a similar vein to his appearances in the likes of Wedding Crashers and Meet The Fockers. Playing a lowbudget bodyguard, Wilson is hired by three geeky high-school students to protect them from the school bully. From new comedy superduo Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow, this might represent the first dud the pair have been involved in, with mixed reviews on release.

Still, for fans of Wilson, the man can do no wrong, Drillbit Taylor promises the usual mix of Texan charm and frat-pack ridiculousness.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Horton Hears A Who! (U) Dir: Jimmy Hayward and Steve Martino This latest Dr Seuss big screen adaptation reunites Bruce Almighty stars Jim Carrey and Steve Carell, though since Carell’s meteoric rise up the Hollywood A-List, with equal billing. Carrey lends his vocal talents to our CGI-hero Horton, who is struggling to protect a microscopic community from his Whoville neighbours, led by Carell as the mayor, who refuse to believe it exists. With a sterling support cast including Arrested Development’s Will Arnett, My Name Is Earl’s Jaime Pressly and Knocked Up/Superbad’s Seth Rogen, this should be animated heaven for kids and something a bit different for weary parents.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon The Other Boleyn Girl (12A) Dir: Justin Chadwick Eric Bana stars as maybe the first Aussie film incarnation of King Henry VIII, romantically torn between Natalie Portman’s Anne Boleyn and her sister Mary, played by Scarlett Johansson. Based on Phillippa Gregory’s book, this latest stab at elaborating on British history has a strong support cast including Kristin Scott-Thomas and David Morrissey.

Showing at Odeon Son of Rambow (12A) Dir: Garth Jennings As a kid growing up in the 80s, music video and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy director Garth Jennings got hold of a pirated copy of First Blood and remade it. Though not that film itself, Son of Rambow is a kind of remake of that remake. British to the core, this low-budget and heart-warming tale of two kids who bond over their love of Stallone has garnered rave reviews. Silly and charming, this should be the very definition of the term ‘sleeper hit’.

Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

Nick Aldwinckle

Blade Runnner

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KIDS

High achievers Zara Friend discovers a local child with badges of success and a school with lots of new reads What’s your favourite TV show? For local youngster Becky Davies, a Year 7 pupil at St Mary’s Hall School in Brighton, it is Blue Peter. In the last three years, Becky has managed to collect every Blue Peter badge there is to get!

Eleven-year-old Becky received her first badge at just eight-years-old, when she created a book telling a story inspired by statues of dragons at Brighton Pavilion.

The talented student has gone on to win competitions, save an injured budgie and create an image of the Blue Peter logo to earn more badges. Becky earned a green badge for her environmental work, a purple badge for writing a review of Blue Peter, a round badge for finishing as a competition runner up and a silver badge when her efforts were deemed worthy for a second time.

Becky was awarded the rare gold badge last year. She has now been made a Blue Peter Team Player, which means she will be asked to take part in initiatives by the programme and may appear on the show itself.

Elsewhere in Brighton, pupils at Whitehawk Primary school got their Book Week off to a flying start with a £1,500 donation from local regeneration project, ebndc (East Brighton New Deal for Communities). Chris El Shabba, chair of the ebndc, presented the cheque on Thursday 27 March and the children dressed up as characters from their favourite stories. The aim of the donation is to encourage a ‘home reading’ drive.

The donation will pay for each student at the school to receive a book bag, with the remaining money being spent on new library books. It looks like a successful time for local chldren all round.

Competition corner Taffy Entertainment Titles on DVD Brightspark Production Ltd release four new DVD titles for youngsters and we have two copies of each new DVD to give away to lucky readers.

DVDs include Tootuff, who is every kid’s hero. Tootuff relentlessly seeks answers to all the questions kids are concerned by; Mix Master, a fantasy action comedy series featuring a group of young friends who battle the forces of evil with out-of-this-world creatures, that viewers can play along with at home; Toddworld, the animated series that explores common themes and the social challenges of a young child’s life; and last but not least, Pet Alien – the 3D CGI animation comedy about a 12-year-old’s life, seen through the eyes of five aliens! Each DVD has a Universal rating, suitable for all.

See more at latest7.co.uk

KIDS LISTINGS Tuesday 15 Baby Bug Hunt (For 3–6-year-olds) Explore the woods and make a model bug from woodland materials to take home.

Wilderness Wood, 10:30am–11:30am, £4.50/3.40 adults Big Bug Hunt (For 7–11-year-olds) Search for creepy-crawlies. Make a book and a model from woodland materials to take home. Wilderness Wood, 10:30am–12:30pm, £6.50/3.40 adults Workshop – Juggling Skills For 6–10-year-olds. Make your own set of three juggling balls, then learn how to juggle! The Observatory Science Centre, 10:30am- 1pm, also 2pm–4.30pm, £8.95.

Wednesday 16 Sing Like a Star Learn to be an opera singer! Free but booking required on 01273 291324. Ages 5–11. The Old Courtroom, 10am- 4pm.

Workshop – Sounds Like Fun For 6–10-year-olds. Make your own pan pipes and ‘glove-o-phone’. The Observatory Science Centre, 10:30am–1pm, £8.95.

Thursday 17 Featuring Faces Come and have your face painted. Inspired by exhibits in the

Body gallery. Brighton Museum & Art Gallery, 2:30pm- 4:30pm, free.

Poi Making and Poi Spinning Come and learn to make Maori ‘poi’ – these are spun around the body as a dance. Ages 7–11.

Also at 2pm–5pm for 11–16 year olds.

Ropetackle Centre, 10am- 1pm, £15.

Survive In The Wild Hands-on activities to test your survival skills; cook marshmallows on your fire. For ages 8–13.

Wilderness Wood, 10am- 12pm, £7.15/3.40 adults.

Friday 18 Appearance Of Spongebob Squarepants Everyone’s favourite animated sponge will be coming up for air to surf the wave of adventure. Drusilla’s Park, Various prices.

Castaway Have fun building shelters and cooking dampers over a camp fire. Bring sausages and a picnic lunch, wear old clothes. Adults welcome to accompany and help. For ages 6–11. Wilderness Wood, 11:30am- 2:30pm, £9.85/3.40 adults

Saturday 19 Brighton Children’s Book Festival Discover how children’s books are transformed to stage and screen. Special guests include Dakota Blue Richards from The Golden Compass. Various venues, also Sun 20, see www.bcbf.org.uk to book/info.

Centre for Animal Welfare

FILM SHOW ‘RAYSTEDE NEWS’ SPRING 2008 Showing the recent work at the Raystede Centre *Admission free *Tea available Please come along and support our event in your town Showing at the following venues: HASTINGS – Tuesday 15 April - St John’s Parish Hall, Brittany Road 2.30–4pm

BEXHILL-ON-SEA – Tuesday 22 April - St Peter’s Community Hall, Church Street, Old Town 2.30–4pm

HOVE - Thursday 24 April - All Saints Church, Eaton Road - 2.30–4pm WORTHING - Tuesday 29 April - The Gordon Room, Town Hall - 2.30–4pm

To be in with a chance of winning, tell us: Which fantasy action DVD can children play along with at home?

A Mix Master B Pick ‘n’ Mix C Head Master Send your answers on a postcard to: Competitions, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton, BN1 4GH. Alternatively, email your answer to: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the prize in the subject box. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and contact number. The winners will be selected on Monday 22 April.

42 latest 7

The Raystede Centre was founded in 1952 to prevent cruelty to animals and to protect them from unnecessary suffering. Dogs, cats and small companion animals are re-homed, whilst others spend the rest of their lives at Raystede, enjoying a happy and peaceful life at the Centre.

We are situated on the B2192 between Halland and Ringmer. The Broyle, Ringmer, BN8 5AJ. Open to visitors daily between 10.00am and 4.00pm.

For more information: Tel: 01825 840252 email admin@raystede.org web www.raystede.org Registered Charity No. 237696.

We rely totally on voluntary donations

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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EVENTS/DAYS OUT

BOOKS

THIS WEEK’S HIGHLIGHT

Write club

Borde Hill Spring Plant Fair Rare rhododendrons, magnificent magnolias and collectable camellias are just some of the displays to wow visitors at Borde Hill’s Spring Plant Fair this Saturday 19 and Sunday 20 April. For the first time the Great Gardens of Sussex, a partnership of five of the most important and historic gardens in Sussex, consisting of Wakehurst, High Beeches, Nymans, Lenoardslee as well as Borde Hill will compete against each other alongside other horticulturalists to jostle to win the much soughtafter awards. Awards include the International Camellia Society Plate, John Hilliard Cup and more. With some 300 specimens – in over 50 categories – likely to be competing in the show, experts will judge the exotic blooms on the Saturday morning, ahead of the official opening at 11.30am. Whether you are an enthusiast or a newcomer to gardening, the show is set to provide you with inspiration for your garden with over 2,000 exciting and unusual plants on sale.

Borde Hill Garden Plant Fair, Borde Hill Garden, Balcombe Road, Haywards Heath, West Sussex. Saturday 19 and Sunday 20 April, 10am–5pm, show marquee opens at 11:30am on the Saturday.

EVENTS LISTINGS Tuesday 15 Bangles and Beads Make bangles and beads to go with your little black dress. All ages. Free drop-in. Brighton Museum and Art Gallery, 2:30pm–4:30pm, free.

Tea Dance Does what it says on the tin!

Dance away the afternoon with music from Sue and Roger of Partners. Worthing Assembly Hall, 2pm–4:30pm, £3.20 includes cup of tea.

Tuesday Night Dancing 7:30pm–8:30pm Beginners’ Ballroom and Latin (Assembly Hall). 8:45pm–9:15pm: Improvers’ Ballroom and Latin (Richmond Room). 9:15pm–10pm.

Popular Sequence Class (Richmond Room).

Free car park and licensed bar. Worthing Assembly Hall and Richmond Room, £5.

best Bollywood sounds. For ages 10–14. also at 11.30am–12.45pm for ages 14+.

Ropetackle Centre, 10am–11:15am, £6.

Flower Frenzy Make a corsage out of hearts and flowers. Brighton Museum & Art Gallery, 1:30pm–4pm, free.

Saturday 19 Borde Hill Plant Fair A flowering haven for visitors with a burst of spring colour and a horticultural feast of plants. With some 300 specimens – in over 50 categories – likely to be competing in the show, experts will judge the exotic blooms on the Saturday morning, ahead of the official opening at 11.30am. Borde Hill Garden, 10am–5pm, £7.50/6.50/4.

Wednesday 16

Sunday 20

Dance In A Day Dance workshop leading to short performance. Learn contemporary and street dance styles building up to a short performance at the end of the session, to which parents and friends will be invited. Ages 10–17, beginners welcome.

Ropetackle Centre, 10am–1pm, £12.

Borde Hill’s Plant Fair Rare rhododendrons, magnificent magnolias and collectable camellias are just some of the wonderful displays at Borde Hill. Borde Hill Garden, 10am–5pm, £7.50/6.50/4.

The South Coast Family History Fair Are you interested in tracing your family history? This is the south coast’s largest family history fair. Stalls include The Society of Geneologists, family history societies, record officers, trade stalls and more.

Worthing Pavilion Theatre, 10am–5pm, £2, free for accompanied children.

Friday 18 Bollywood Dance Have fun with these popular Bollywood dance classes, incorporating the latest moves with the

John Davies on our evolving library and new creative writing classes A lot of people have probably stopped calling it ‘the new Jubilee library’.

After all, the building has been open about five years and it’s quickly become as much part of Brighton ‘&‘ Hove as the ampersand. I’d like to suggest that the description ‘new’ has never been more appropriate, because now something really important has changed – the culture.

When it first opened and won a shelf load of awards, the Jubilee was physically new, an architectural statement about the role and relevance of a modern library to a modern city. Yet something didn’t quite square up. In spite of huge staff commitment, attitudes seemed out of kilter with the library’s feel. Opening hours didn’t seem to fit the needs of library users. Connections with the wider community in terms of reciprocal links with other literature activists in the city were often nonexistent. Fear hovered around the library precinct. Change was in the air but the response was reactionary and defensive – until now that is.

Spring has had the same effect on the library as it has on leaf buds.

The Jubilee has suddenly opened out. Its culture has caught up with its physical structure. The ‘new’ library exists at last – full of new ideas.

Sunday opening is on the way. Local organisations and groups are being welcomed to use the facilities. The public-private partnership can be more than an ill-perceived means of raising cash but a genuine partnership between a public amenity and the private citizens who use it. Let’s use our wonderful library like never before!

The library is a focal point for readers in the same way that Brighton Writers’ Centre is for writers. The Centre has been in existence for three years – a workshop room and an office at 49 Grand Parade. Now Brighton Writers’ Centre is opening a new chapter, taking over additional workshop space to satisfy demand and offering an ideal creative space for writing and writers in the heart of the city.

Starting in April there’s a new series of creative writing workshops running right through until August and you can find full details at www.thesouth.org.uk or by calling 01273 571700. Worth highlighting is ‘Using the Theatre in your Performance Poetry Show‘, with acclaimed Canadian poet and performer Heather Taylor on Saturday 26 April. Her poetry collection Horizon and Back was published by tall-lighthouse.

She’s also a playwright and scriptwriter. This year her first feature film will be released in conjunction with Artificial Eye and NFTS. No matter what your age, if you’re a fan of literature for young people you’ll want to book a ticket for Brighton Children’s Book Festival this weekend. This year the theme is ‘leaping off the page’ looking at the way children’s books transform into film, TV and other media. You can hear David Almond, Dakota Blue Richards (young star of The Golden Compass film), Michelle Magorian, Nicky Singer, wonderful poet Valerie Bloom and many others, plus hands-on workshops, storytelling, performances and screenings. There will also be a panel discussion with publishers and agents on how to get published. Find full details and tickets at: www.bcbf.org.uk

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ART

See more at latest-art.co.uk DE LA WARR PAVILION Bexhill-on-Sea, 01424 229111 Kenneth Martin & Mary Martin Abstract artists who came to notice back in the 40s – Kenneth Martin’s mobile sculptures and Mary Martin’s reliefs are based around mathematical principles and display extraordinary innovation. Until 20 April, Mon-Sun 10am-6pm

HQ GALLERY 15 St. John Street, Lewes, 01273 487849 Louise Chavannes: Secret Paths Watercolour artist using pure lapis lazuli and manganese blue pigment.

19 April-11 May, Tues-Sat 10am5pm, Sun 1-5pm

INK_D GALLERY

Frank van der Salm, Array

Unwanted self

The Unwanted Self: Contemporary Photography from the Low Countries, University of Brighton Gallery, until 14 May

BOOTH MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY Dyke Road, Brighton, 01273 292777 Life in Death: The Victorian Art of Taxidermy Exhibition documenting the Victorian interest in natural sciences and the opening up of trade routes in the 19th century.

Until 15 June, Mon-Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 2-5pm

BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Church Road, Brighton, 01273 292882 On the Pull Explore love and attraction, tender romance and the call of the wild through music, film, paintings, pottery and postcards.

Until 31 Aug Richard Chivers Photographic investigation into the layering of time within the Sussex landscape, including the South Downs.

Until 11 May Forests of Gold: Kingdom of the Asante A new display to mark the 50th anniversary of Ghanaian independence, including historical and contemporary material with links to the gold trade.

Until 3 Aug, Tue 10am-7pm, Wed-Sat 10am-5pm, Sun 2-5pm 44 latest 7

Peter Blake @ Ink_d Gall ery

UNIVERSITY OF BRIGHTON PELHAM HOUSE

This major exhibition will showcase the work of nine internationally renowned photographers rarely seen in the UK and who exemplify current tendencies indicative of contemporary ‘low countries’ photography.

Esteemed Belgian and Dutch photographers seek to explore the relationships between the genres that each artist is working within and the national contexts and traditions that might inevitably shape and influence what they do.

The exhibition has been organised by David Green (University of Brighton) in collaboration with Jan Baetens (University of Leuven), Frits Gierstberg Frank van der Salm, Arc ade (Nederlands Fotomuseum), Rotterdam and Christoph Ruys (PhotoMuseum Antwerp).

ART LISTINGS

96 North Road, Brighton, 01273 645299 Peter Blake Godfather of British Pop Art with new, updated prints taken from his 60s period.

Until 3 May, Mon-Sat 10am-6pm

St Andrew’s Lane, Lewes, 01273 488600 BRAG Celebrating some of the new stars of the burgeoning underground UK poster scene with Brighton-based collective BRAG (British Rock Artists Group) and featuring the work of 12 designers.

Until 28 April

Grand Parade, Brighton, 01273 643010 The Unwanted Self: Contemporary Photography From The Low Countries Showcase of work from nine international photographers who each explore contexts and traditions that the other artists work with.

Until 14 May, Mon-Sat 10am-5pm

WORTHING MUSEUM & ART GALLERY PERMANENT GALLERY 20 Bedford Place, Brighton, 07919 184417 Benoit Carpenter: Following Line French artist Benoit Carpenter’s work crosses the boundaries between drawing, painting and sculpture, with the finished pieces seemingly fragile, complex constructions of clay-coated fabric, and which are open to chance/improvisation.

Until 27 Apr, Thu, Fri & Sun 1-6pm, Sat 11am-6pm

Chapel Road, Worthing 01903 221140 Worthing Child A celebration of over 100 years of childhood in Worthing through toys, costumes, education and health.

Until 3 May, Tues-Sat 10am-5pm

To feature in our art listings, email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Artists Open Houses 2008 The Latest Art guide to the best Open Houses is inside Latest 7 on 29 April.

CHALK GALLERY 4 North Street, Lewes, 01273 474477 A Moment in Time 21 artists across all mediums, with featured artist, screenprinter Alexander Johnson. Until 4 May, Mon-Sun 10am-5pm

CHARLESTON Firle, Lewes, 01323 811265 Peter de Francia Work stems from the tradition of Goya, Daumier and Beckmann. His vibrant palette and drawing style (a fusion of Grosz and Picasso) as well as his subject matter demonstrate the influence of European art history.

Until 5 May, Wed & Sat 11.30am-5pm, Thurs, Fri & Sun 2-5pm

CRANE KALMAN 38 Kensington Gardens, Brighton, 01273 697096 Found Photographers Denis Doran, Kevin Eason and Andy Hughes, all of whose work focuses on a common theme – found materials.

Until 27 Apr, Mon-Sat 10am-6pm, Sun 10.30am-4.30pm

To advertise your Open House, call Ian on 01273 818150 ex 125 or email ian@thelatest.co.uk

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latest music

Brighton music news with Jeff Hemmings and Nick Aldwinckle. Send your news to: music@thelatest.co.uk

Pic: Tim Soter

NEWS Jumpstart Jumpstart is a new monthly event for unsigned bands and artists, featuring a Q&A session with experts from the industry, a meet and greet opportunity, a live set (the first one, 24 April, features The Splendour – ex-Kingsomniac) and a ‘demo clash’. This is an opportunity to have your demo judged by a panel of industry experts. To enter a demo for consideration please send an email to: info@indielabelscheme.com. Jumpstart is a monthly event – the next one is 29 May, and is an offshoot of the Independent Label Scheme, which is an industry endorsed advice and consultancy service for independent music businesses and start-ups, offering expert and specialist guidance to those that need it. www.indielabelscheme.com JH

Rock, Pop and Two Smoking Barrels The University of Sussex Film Society has organised a fundraiser show in aid of the Duke Of York’s cinema’s Raise The Roof Appeal.

Bands playing at the Komedia gig on the 17 April, named Rock, Pop and Two Smoking Barrels, include great party-starting jive kids Sweet Sweet Lies, indie rockers Doll And The Kicks, Traffic To Nowhere and Left Engine. The night will also feature comedy, spoken word performance, guest speakers and a club night after the show with DJ Si Zero of Dynamite Boogaloo. Tickets cost £5–£7, with all profits going to help replace the Duke of York’s damaged roof.

NA

Slow burn Whilst the world went crazy over grunge, softly spoken Minnesota residents Low were creating their own quiet revolution On the Western banks of Lake Superior lies the quiet industrial town of Duluth, Minnesota. The glacial climate and stark, beautiful landscape perfectly mirrors the music of the town’s foremost artists, Low. Formed in 1993 at grunge’s peak, the band – singer/guitarist Alan Sparhawk, wife Mimi Parker on drums and co-vocals and original bassist John Nichols (now replaced by Matt Livingston) – represented something more low key than the punkish guitar bands from Seattle. Their debut album I Could Live In created what was dubbed ‘Slowcore’ (a term the band hate) and they’ve consistently turned out acclaimed album after album.

Their cult following remains fifteen years on, perhaps stronger than ever with last year’s Drums and Guns bold new sound.

Drums and Guns is, according to Sparhawk, “Electronic music made by people who don’t know anything about electronic music. We’d gone as far as possible in a certain direction, if we’d approached this record the same way, we already knew how it would sound.”

Drums and Guns, though quieter than The Great Destroyer, has a biting lyrical anger laced with upbeat, constructive ideas. Sparhawk says: “The last record was confusion. I was on my way down with mental health issues. Guns and Drums is that person coming through and feeling okay.”

Openly political, Low are amongst the growing generation of dissenters in American music critical of the country’s administration. The new record is informed by the atrocities of Iraq and Afghanistan. “Questioning leaders isn’t new but this just came as we wrote. We need to look at ourselves and realise we’re all capable of doing

the same. Let’s start coping with it and really talking instead of just saying ‘you’re a monster’.

We’re all monsters. America is full of the descendants of people running from danger.”

Sparhawk and wife Parker are devout Mormons, and the new record adopts a spiritual sound.

Church organs hum as electronic beats and guitars grind soulfully. It’s impossible to not see faith in the music he creates. “Like any religion or philosophy, it’s about the core of who you are and what you create. Those are the building blocks of someone’s self-understanding and creativity.

Those elements inform the questions you ask as an artist.

Even the atheists have to ask them.”

These same questions led to Sparhawk’s hospitalisation during the Great Destroyer tour, and “everything from posttraumatic stress, ADHD, bipolar whatever, suicidal depression/anxiety ('have some pills, call if you’re alive next week '), paranoia, laziness, OCD, and good old-fashioned two-faced asshole-ness.”

An intensely intelligent and gifted musician, it’s good to hear things improving slowly: “Oh yeah, everything’s perfect! The best you can do is look at the last few months and if they were okay, you’re doing okay, you know? I’m okay.”

This optimistic attitude is obvious on the new songs, and is what Low itself is all about. ”There’s a fine line between depression and hope, and I guess when we reach for that moment, they exist in the same atmosphere. Even the darkest songs are an effort to grapple with the unknown. The act of trying to deal with this is optimistic, a hopeful act. Everything we do is an effort to make something positive.”

Low, St George’s Church , Brighton , 16 April NA

“Drums and Guns has a biting lyrical anger“

Doll & The Kicks

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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MUSIC

Presidents of the United States of America

Envy & Other Sins Lydia Lunch American underground poet, musician, actress and performer who has been making intelligent, avant garde art since the American ‘no-wave’ movement of the late 70s.

A collaborator with many leftfield greats (including Nick Cave, Sonic Youth) she continues to be a prolific spoken-word artist and musician. Defiantly underground and principled performer.

Tuesday 15 April, Komedia JH Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip + Gideon Conn + Producers With Computers Hailing from the grim Essex town of Stanford-le-Hope, this interesting pair preach their own gospel of anti-fashion spoken word over eminently catchy dance beats. Debut album Angles looks set to build on the success of last year’s crossover hit ‘Thou Shalt Always Kill’.

Tuesday 15 April, Concorde 2 NA

Envy and Other Sins Genius band name with some classy classic pop sounds via new longplayer We Leave At Dawn. Like a lot of their contemporaries they are in love with the symbols and ideas of an England past (the Victorian age, horse power, ancient pornography etc), but their music veers the right side of contemporary, albeit with plenty of 70s soft-rock stylings.

Wednesday 16 April, Audio JH Maceo Parker Funk and soul jazz saxophonist, best known for his work with James Brown in the 60s. Parker was a prominent soloist on many of Brown’s hit recordings, and a key part of his band, playing alto, tenor and baritone saxophones. Parker’s rhythmic and rapid playing style draws on the earlier innovations of be-bopper Charlie Parker (no relation), and Cannonball Adderley, mixed with Brown’s own innovations in funk music.

Wednesday 16 April, Komedia JH

Maceo Parker

To advertise here costs only £20 2 Course meal £6.95 Choice of 8 starters and 12 main courses.

Kingsway Court, First Ave, Hove (on seafront) Tel: 01273 323810

46 latest 7

Call Marie Viviani now!

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Presidents of the United Sates of America Supreme punk-poppers who first came to worldwide notice via their hit ‘Peaches’. New album These Are The Good Times People is typically PUSA – full of short but sweet rapidfire songs with melody and plenty of dry humour. Geekish-looking nerds in that great American tradition that includes the likes of Devo, Weezer et al.

Wednesday 16 April, Concorde 2 JH Piratetechno + Malarki A Playgroup student special featuring some of the best non-indie musical talent this city has to offer. Piratechno put on their own themed parties which have been causing a sensation around town, while Malarki’s upbeat brand of party funk rock is winning admirers everywhere. More bands and loads of DJs spread throughout the venue.

Always good fun.

Thursday 17 April, Concorde 2

Carly Bryant

2 for 1 Main Courses Excludes Lobster & Dover Sole

Yoav Born in Israel and having lived in Cape Town, Montreal and London, this singersongwriter plays an interesting mix of indiepop and dance beats. Every sound is created by just him and his guitar in a very different way to most ‘bloke and guitar’ acts.

Thursday 17 April, Barfly NA Red Lorry Yellow Lorry These veteran 80s/90s goth rockers from Leeds still have a strong cult following. Understandable, really, from their strong back catalogue of Sisters of Mercy/The Cult-style would-be dancefloor anthems. Underrated and now reformed, check them out at the pleasantly gloomy Engine Room. Followed by Deviant club night.

Friday 18 April, Engine Room NA Carly Bryant Local singer-songwriter who has an original guitar style that perfectly complements her talking blues-folk-pop songs. Joined by an exciting backline that includes Reef’s keys player, Jason Knight, and Los Albertos’ Chez on saxophones, the night sees the launch of Carly’s new album Sing A Song Of Sixpence. An artist independent of spirit, she can often be seen busking the streets of Brighton.

Saturday 19 April, Komedia JH Chuck Prophet Since the early 80s when he hooked up with Dan Sturat and semi-desert country-rockers Green on Red, Chuck Prophet has made brilliant music, that combines his fine songwriting with his expressive voice and beautifully fluid and melodic guitar playing.

New album Soap and Water contains some more Prophet classics and really, I cannot recommend this man and his band more.

Sunday 20 April, Barfly JH

Tomato & French bean salad with tuna & red onions, dressed with olive oil.

Grilled sardines with lemon & rosemary • Soup of the day • Garlic bread

Main Course

THE BRASSERIE FISH & GRILL 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina Village, BN2 5WA

01273 698989

Pan Fried Local Cod Served over creamy mash potatoes finished with a chive and cream sauce.

Pan Seared Salmon Steak Served with fennel, fresh tomatoes, parsley and white wine sauce.

Whole Sea Bream Grilled with olive oil and rosemary served with sauteed new potatoes.

Chicken Breast Served on duchess potatoes finished with a cream and spinach sauce.

Penne Vegatarian

Bookings must be made in advance. Please mention this advert when booking.

Terms and conditions Must bring the coupon to claim - One coupon up to 6 people Excludes Bank Holidays and Saturday evenings

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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See more at latest7.co.uk

Chuck Prophet Alphabeat Colourful, chirpy Danish pop kids are completely in love with 80s New Romanticism. Just another example of the euros (Continental types) who are making what is, in essence, British pop music. Is that good, bad, or ugly?

Sunday 20 April, Audio JH iLIKETRAINS + Kyte Silly name, serious band, and another gloomy sound from Leeds. Drawing on inspiration from the likes of Nick Cave, Joy Division and fellow Leeds misery-guts David Gedge, tonight should be a memorable display of polished, vast-sounding and fleetingly incredible melancholia of the highest order.

Monday 21 April, Barfly NA Frank Turner Ex-Million Dead singer who has swapped screamy hardcore punk for acoustic guitars. But that doesn’t mean he has lightened up; it just means that his still angry (and often witty) voice can be heard above the squall, thereby opening the minds of many potential fans who prefer audible lucidity. A real talent, check out his new album Love Ire and Song.

Monday 21 April, Hanbury Ballroom JH

Status Quo Never has a band been named so appropriately – and here they celebrate 40 years of hits with a run through of their greatest rock ‘n’ roll boogie tunes.

Friday 12 December, Brighton Centre

iLikeTrains

UPCOMING GIGS

Frank Turner

latest 7 on the radio Tune into Radio Reverb, 97.2FM, Mon–Fri, 4–6pm, for the latest music, art, culture, politics, community and entertainment news, with Jeff Hemmings and guests.

Lloyd Cole 22 April, Komedia Air Traffic 25 April, Concorde 2 Nizlopi 28 April, Komedia The Wombats 29 April, Dome Bueno Vista Social 25 April, Brighton Dome Billy Childish 1 May, Komedia The Orb 2 May, Concorde 2 The Maccabees 3 May, Concorde 2 Roy Ayers 6 May, Concorde 2 Daughters of Albion 13 May, Brighton Dome Girls Aloud 13-14 May, Brighton Centre The Great Escape Various venues, 15-17 May Fat Cat Nights 16-17 May, Theatre Royal Fanfare Ciocarlia 17 May, Brighton Dome Mystery Jets 17 April, Digital Joe Lean & The JJJ 20 May, Concorde 2 Miriam Makeba 21 May, Brighton Dome De La Soul 23 May, Concorde 2 Hercules & Love Affair 23 May, Parlure Medeski, Martin, Wood 24 May, Dome Mark Knopfler 24 May, Brighton Centre

BIG MOUTH SINGERS Japanese tapas restaurant • Many types of organic wine • Authentic Japanese tapas dishes from £3.95 • Lunch set meal from just £7.85

ENJOY YOUR MEAL! Have a fantastic experience with us!

115 Dyke Road, Brighton (7 Dials)

Tel: 01273 326231 If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

BRIGHTON & HOVE’S NEW COMMUNITY CHOIR OPEN TO ALL AGES AND ABILITIES, AND IT’S FREE! LEARN VOCAL GAMES, WARM-UPS, TRADITIONAL AND MODERN SONGS LED BY EXPERIENCED VOCAL TUTORS TEACHING SONGS FROM AROUND THE WORLD * 10-week project starts 21st April to create a performance for the Family Festival on June 24th in Hove Town Hall * When? 4.00–5.30pm every Monday during term time Where? Drama Studio C1, Blatchington Mill School, Nevill Avenue, Hove, BN3 7BJ

Contact: Cicely Taylor Tel: 01273 736244 ext 229

Wedding Present 30 May, Corn Exchange The Guillemots 31 May, Concorde 2 Pigeon Detectives 3 June, Dome David Essex 4 June, Dome Marc Almond 7 June, De La Warr, Bexhill Isobel Campbell & Mark Lanegan 11 June, St George’s Church Steve Earle 11 June, Dome Ali Campbell 11 June, Brighton Centre John Sebastian 12 June, Concorde 2 The Zombies/Yardbirds 14 July, Dome Yazoo 15 June, Brighton Centre Toots & The Maytals 25 June, Concorde 2 Eddy Grant 1 July, Concorde 2 Pentangle 2 July, Dome Robert Cray 11 July, Dome Martha Reeves 18 August, Concorde 2 Moody Blues 11 October, Brighton Centre Katie Melua 11 November, Brighton Centre Jools Holland 6 December, Brighton Centre Status Quo 12 December, Brighton Centre

To advertise here costs only £20 Call Marie Viviani now!

01273 818150 ext 102

Email: ctaylor@blatchingtonmill.org.uk latest 7 47

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MUSIC REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases American three-piece Frightened James Rabbit produce muscular indie rock with touches of folk and emo, mixed up with acerbic wit and an unusual line-up of two guitars and drums (no bass), as evidenced on their new album Midnight Organ Fight. Another of those slightly leftfield acts that utterly dominate the bulging Fat Cat label roster, you can catch them play live in May at the Theatre Royal as part of a two-night label showcase.

Horribly retro, the debut LP Up in My Head (dig the time warped title, man) by The Draytones is so overwhelmingly mid-sixties R’n’B/psychedelic that it might as well have been made in ‘66/’67, so complete is its reverence to the nascent flower power period. Every production detail, every lyric (cringeworthy sample: “You’re the one who really turns me on/the girl who makes me go blind/the one who keeps me awake at night.”), every song structure and every sound is painstakingly recreated. There’s even a sitar in there and the crackling sound of vinyl for chrissakes!

Local singer songwriter Al Start has produced a gorgeous third album in I Heart History, a collection of songs based on true stories found in the archives of Brighton Museum where she was given rare access in order to write the songs which are largely about love, romance, courtship, murder and much more! For instance, ‘Russian Roulette’ tells the story of Christiana Edmunds – ‘The Chocolate Cream Poisoner’ – who spread panic in the 1870s after suffering unrequited love and jealousy.

James are back in town and to precede their new album they’ve got the rather superb ‘Whiteboy’ out as a single. Tim Booth and band rock-out with this strangely compelling, trumpet infused song that was recorded in true rock’n’roll style in a French chateau, by Brighton producer Lee Baker.

Brighton duo Blood Red Shoes release their debut album Box of Secrets, a surprisingly big racket considering there is only one (albeit fuzzed-up) guitar, a drum kit and minimal overdubs. Very loud, thrashy and with a bit of a mean streak throughout, they ride the grooves brilliantly and are occasionally reminiscent of es: Box of Secrets LP The White Stripes, but hold their Blood Red Sho own with some clever song structures and excellent interchanging vocals. It’s relentless though…

As legendary metal guitarist Steve Vai’s detractors will tell you, great musicianship doesn’t necessarily make for great music. This is certainly the case with Grammy-winning blues harmonica player Sugar Blue on his latest release, boringly titled Code Blue. Best known for his work with The Rolling Stones on the albums Some Girls, Emotional Rescue and Tattoo You, Blue’s skill with the harmonica is beyond question, though his songwriting leaves something to be desired. This routine, totally forgettable trawl through standard blues and funk numbers is worsened by laughable wannabe-politico lyrics that belong on the pub circuit.

It’s been five years since low-key Nottingham miserablists Tindersticks released a studio album. It seems the break has raised the band’s spirits a little with new record The Hungry Saw representing a lighter sound than the previous Nick Cave-style piano and strings heartbreak. As usual, the melancholic piano features prominently, though there’s more space afforded to almost affable sixties-sounding compositions and more than the odd glimmer of hope beneath Stuart Staples’ still gloomy vocals.

Finally, there’s an excellent album out by Irish folk roots rockers Flogging Molly, like a faster and more furious version of Brighton’s The Levellers. Float is seriously dancey, rollicking stuff with some truly memorable songs..

Send your music to Jeff Hemmings, Music Editor, Latest 7, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England Hse, New England St, Brighton BN1 4GH, music@thelatest.co.uk. Listen to Jeff and guests on Latest Soup on Radio Reverb, Mon–Fri, 4–6pm, 97.2 or via www.radioreverb.com. Podcasts on www.latest7.co.uk/podcasts. www.myspace.com/jeffhemmings 48 latest 7

Another week, another chart dominated by the powerhouse that is Anglo-German duo Urban Delights’ ‘Maybe Baby’. A storming blend of old fashioned soul and Mark Ronson-esque updating for the new millenium, it’s no surprise this remains on top. Taking second place are newcomers Without Warrant with the chart’s first proper ‘rawk’ hit, the big-riffing ‘Stop the Machine’. Electro-popsters Damn Dirty Humans stubbornly refuse to leave the top five at number three, as do indie rockers Friday Night Hero (four) and funkers Mean Poppa Lean (five).

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.latest7.co.uk/chart Or hear the full chart with Jeff and Nick on Radio Reverb, 97.2fm every Tuesday 4-6pm/12-2am Brighton Latest Download Chart

Top 10

★ 1 Urban Delights – Maybe Baby ★ 2 Without Warrant – Stop the Machine 3 Damn Dirty Humans – You’re So Retro 4 Friday Night Hero – Our Time 5 Mean Poppa Lean – Ain’t Nobody 6 The Woo!worths – Konichiwa (demo) 7 Leo Altarelli – See it Now 8 Caramel Jack – We Could Build Skyscrapers 9 Scribe-Tribe – My Land 10 Joanne Arrowsmith – Smile 11 Ghostbirds Little Scars 12 Largo Silversp**n 13 Transformer Cinema Car 14 Tractor Countdown Love’s Elusions 15 Sherlock Bones The Ugly Bugs Balls 16 She Said 200 Years 17 Dance Paris Dance These Games 18 Go Johnny Go Ebbenflow 19 Maritime Hotel Young 20 Lisa Osbourne Grounded 21 Dan Sumner Glitterball 22 Way Tangent Try 23 Hatchdown Come Down Easy 24 My Last Victory Facing the Winds of Adversity 25 Sweet Sweet Lies My Overrated Girlfriend

26 Thoughts Collide I’ll Buy You a Megaphone 27 Grovesnor Drive Your Car (Bird Peterson remix) 28 Arty Karate Ammunition 29 My Fabric Changes 30 This Mono Galaxy Accusations Fly 31 Cath O’Drae Sofageddon 32 The Blue Skies Arcade Girl 33 Shona Foster Be Bold 34 Floors and Walls What to do 35 BangBangBang!

This Way/That Way 36 The Marshan From Marz So Far Remix 37 Benjamin Robot Severine 38 Jamie Smith Wheels Upon Wheels 39 The Miserable Rich Over and Over (Hot Chip cover) 40 The Lieutenant’s Mistress Next to Me

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MUSIC LISTINGS 15 – 21 April Tuesday 15 Acoustic Lounge Live acoustic showcase.

Joogleberry Playhouse, 7:30pm, free Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip + Gideon Conn + Producers With Computers Prepare for the infectious electronic rhythms and spoken word p*ss-taking of Stanford-le-Hope, Essex’s finest. Concorde 2, 7:30pm, £10 Fountain of Open Mics Cleverly-titled open mic night. The Fountain Head, 8pm, free Guitar Championship Prizes for the winner.

The Hampton, 8pm, free I Am Kloot Decent, hardworking Britpop survivors with cult following.Komedia, 8pm, £13 Lydia Lunch New York No-Wave star who has worked with Nick Cave, Sonic Youth and Brian Eno Komedia, 8pm, £13 Open mic night Grand Central, 8pm, free Open mic night Duke of Norfolk, 9pm, free Shona Foster + Mr Fin + Sam ‘The Mule’ Walker Tori Amos-influenced singer-songwriter and one of the best on the local scene.

Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £5

Wednesday 16 Acoustic Gems Discover hidden musical gems, hopefully. Quadrant, 8:30pm, free Candela Fiery Flamenco Free Spanish music and great tapas menu. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, free Coalition Totally Unsigned Weekly unsigned music night. Brighton Coalition, 7:30pm, £4 Envy and Other Sins The indie/pop winners of T4’s mobileAct Unsigned talent show play Brighton again after supporting the Hoosiers at Brighton Dome. Barfly, 7:30pm, £6 The Legendary Bee’s Mouth Open Mic Bee’s Mouth, 8:30pm, free Low + The Helio Sequence The exquisite sounds of these Minnesota originators of ‘slowcore’ combined with the atmosphere of St George’s Church should make for an amazing show. St George’s Church, 7:30pm, £15

Maceo Parker Funk legend who’s played with James Brown and George Clinton. Described as 100 per cent funk, that’s a whole lot of funk to deal with. Komedia 8.30pm, £20 Ok Acoustic Live acoustic music showcase.

Western Front, 8pm, free Open Mac Night Showcase for electronic music talent. Bring your laptop and sampler and join in! Sidewinder, 9pm, free Open mic night In-house drums available.

Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free Presidents of the USA + Electric Eel Shock + Los Mendozas + Kid Carpet The fun US punk-ish rockers conquer the UK once again with their tongue-in-cheek tunes and decent support from Japanese mentallists Electric Eel Shock. Concorde 2, 7:30pm, £12.50 Textures Dutch rockers not averse to the odd slow moment either. Engine Room, 7:30pm, £7

Thursday 17 All Turn Native: Heels Catch Fire + Ex Lion Tamers Alternative night with DJ Digitalis playing rock, metal, punk, emo, ska and goth.

With live bands. Prince Albert, 8pm, £3 Decoke Melodic rock fusion. Bee’s Mouth, 9pm, free Escape to Victory Open Mic Open mic, with Michael Caine. The Victory, 8pm, free John Barrowman Captain Jack also sings.

Brighton Dome, 7.30pm, £27.50 Karaoke Rock Star A full backing band and huge catalogue of music available for this fun night. Brighton Coalition, 10:30pm, £6/8 Live Music TBC Live music and a curry! Yum. Duke of Norfolk, 9pm, free Muy Picante Gypsy swing. Xuma, 9pm, free Playgroup Student Special: Piratechno + Malarky + Wobbly Squadron + KLIC Presumably cheap booze. Concorde 2, 9pm, £4 Rock, Pop and Two Smoking Barrels: Duke of York’s Fundraiser Sussex uni film society present a night featuring Sweet Sweet Lies, Doll and the Kicks, Traffic to Nowhere and Left Engine. Komedia, 8pm, £6.50

Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip, Concorde 2, Tueday 15

My back feels so much better after visiting Revitalise Amanda Neil, Paramedic

Sofa Sessions Open mic, of course. Juggler Bar, 9pm, free Yoav Well travelled, atmospheric Cape Town/ Montreal singer-songwriter who creates dance beats with just a guitar. Barfly, 7:30pm, £5

Friday 18 Acoustic Lounge Acoustic singer-songwriter showcase. Joogleberry Playhouse, 7:30pm, free Club Chat Noir: Moose Manouche + The Hot Club de Belleville Gypsy and 1920s swing club night with live bands and DJ Mike The Mic. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £10/8 I Flautisti Recorder Quartet A wide range of styles from medieval to the present day and including baroque and jazz. Wine served, too. St Lukes Church, 7:30pm, £6/4 Jonathan Gee Quartet Brighton Jazz Club event, with piano, sax, bass and drums.

Komedia, 8pm, £12/10 Kidstock Littl’uns music and arts festival. 10am to midday for ages five to seven, 1pm to 3pm for ages eight to eleven. Komedia,10am–3pm, £tbc Miss Pain + The F*ck You Planet Earth Kraftwerk worshiping electro-pop trio. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Matt Eaton (Actress Hands) + Modern Ovens + Tandy Hard Actress Hands frontman plays solo acoustic show. The Hope, 8pm, £4 Red Lorry Yellow Lorry Veteran goth/dance crossover characters from Leeds with some great, atmospheric tunes and dancefloor beats. So definitely not a kid’s TV show as their name might imply. Engine Rooms, 7:30pm, £10 Rick Wakeman’s Grumpy Old Picture Show The Yes frontman performs some of his classics, with a bit of stand-up and spoof documentary footage. Why don’t people call themselves ‘Rick’ anymore? Worthing Assembly Hall, 8pm, £23 This Is Elvis + The Burning Love Band Elvis tribute. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £10 Twisted Wheel Tipped-for-the-top classic rock.

Digital, 7:30pm, £tbc

Saturday 19 Carly Bryant Popular Brighton singer songwriter tours her new album. Reef man Jason Knight on keyboards. Komedia, 8pm, £4 The Graveyard Shift: Demented Are Go + The Caravans Psychobilly night featuring punk veterans Demented Are Go, burlesque dancers and DJ sets. Barfly, 8pm, £tbc Katarina Holmberg German soul singer with six-piece band in tow. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £6 Keyboard Choir + Powerup + Junkboy Space-rock/psychedelic freak out. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 7:30pm, £4 Kroon Kat Lounge: The Hepkat Huzzahs and Nicky Mitchell Swing jazz big band cabaret extravaganza. Komedia, 9pm, £17.50/14 My Fabric Straightforward indie rock. Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free OTB Soul Club Classic soul and Motown club with live band and DJ spinning the best tunes.

Joogleberry Playhouse, 9:30pm, £12

Supper Club: Tudo Bem Bossa nova to samba funk dance from this talented quartet. Dinner served too! Hanbury Club, 7pm, £10/7 The Spirit of Pavarotti 24-year-old Pavarotti tribute. Worthing Assembly Hall, 7:30pm, £16.50, £15

Sunday 20 Alphabeat Colourful, chirpy Danish pop kids set to storm the charts. Audio, 7:30pm, £6.50 Chuck Prophet Tex-mex influenced Americana incorporating electro and classical sounds to make an original, innovative even, end product.

Barfly, 7:30pm, £12.50 The Ipanemas Brazilian music legends Wilson Das Neves and Neco combine Afro-Brazilian bossa grooves with classic vocal samba.

Komedia, 8.30pm, £16 Jez Tonkin Acoustic singer-songwriter plays folk covers and some of his own stuff, too.

Sidewinder, 8pm, free Live Jazz Sessions: Ian Price Trio A spot of Sunday afternoon jazz. Quadrant, 3:30pm, free Roast ‘n’ Jazz: Jo Fooks Tenor sax and some nice Sunday roast. Joogleberry Playhouse, 12pm, £10 inc full roast dinner Sunday Sessions: Live and Unplugged Live music, with audience participation encouraged.

Western Front, 7:30pm, free Sussex Jazz Orchestra Twenty-piece jazz band. Hare & Hounds, 4pm, free Ungagged Acoustic Americana featuring Brighton Beach Boys pianist Glen Richardson.

Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £8

Monday 21 The Bee’s Mouth Jazz Forum A house band welcomes all comers, and every musician gets some free booze. Bee’s Mouth, 8:30pm, free Concorde 2 21st Birthday Show: Rogers Nelson This is supposed to be a secret show by someone VERY famous, usually known by just one word. If this is true, the Concorde’s managed something incredible. Tickets on sale April Fool’s Day. Hmm. Concorde 2, 8pm, £tbc Corinne West + David Celia The ‘Princess of Progressive folk’. Ravenswood, Sharpthorne, 8pm, £tbc Frank Turner + Andy Yorke + Ciara H Former Million Dead hardcore punk frontman turned political folk hero. Hanbury Club, 8pm, £7 iLIKETRAINS + Kyte Bit dramatic for trainspotters, really. Dark, epic and excellent indie from Leeds akin to The Veils, Nick Cave and The Wedding Present. Barfly, 7:30pm, £5 Jonas Kullhammar Quartet Rollins and Coltrane inspired jazz. Probably Sonny, not Henry Rollins. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £7/5 Lethal Bizzle The grime MC it’s ok for idiot indie kids to claim they like. Concorde 2, 8pm, £9.50 Rock and Roll Circus Classic Rock and Blues Meltdown With the Crazy Aces, Montrose Avenue, Black Betty and Fat Kat. The Hope, 8:00pm, £5/4 The XCerts Scottish pop-punk types. Freebutt, 7:30pm, £tbc Nick Aldwinckle

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BARS &CLUBS

CLUBHIGHLIGHTS

See more at latest7.co.uk

THURSDAY 17 Subsistence@Volks 10.30pm–3am, £5 It’s a tale of two dance genres at the Volks this evening with Alkemy and Ironside claiming the upstairs space for drum and bass and breakcore while down in the depths below, Seb G and DJ Gary break out the house, electro and breaks.

You pays your disco doortax – and you makes your choice.

FRIDAY 18 Etch Live@Audio 10pm–3am TBC Brighton favourites Tru Thoughts gather together a mix of new faces and old favourites for this semi-live outing. Cream of the crop will be Bonobo, who’ll be DJing breakbeat inflected nu-jazz while Belleruche (who’ve just released their new 12" ‘Northern Girls’) will be playing their first live set since they appeared at the Loop festival.

Plump DJs@Concorde2 11pm–4am £12.50 After winning three gongs at this year’s Breakspoll awards (kinda like the breakbeat Oscars – but with extra vodka) the Plump DJs return to the Concorde 2 for another fine set of genre-bending breakbeats, bootlegs and reworked classics. Not bad for a duo who took their name from a chubby-chasing girly mag.

SATURDAY 19 One Inch Badge Records present Throw Up and Die@Water Margin 10pm–3am, £7/6/5 One Inch Badge throw another indie/electro night into the mix with a fresh regular session blending alternative action (from the likes of the Knife and Dizzee Rascal) with live art punk. For the more literally-minded among you, please be aware that the title of this night is not an order, merely a suggestion.

Summer of Love ‘08@Audio 11pm–5am, £12/10 To celebrate 20 years (count ‘em) of quality dance music, Audio are throwing open their doors every single Saturday during summer for a free party taking over both the club’s floors. Christening the event in kind will be the Schtumm DJs, who’ll no doubt be bringing their own blend of dirty warehouse party vibes to the club.

Brighton Jazz Rooms@Jazz PLace 10pm–3am, £6/5 And speaking of jazz: Roger C is forgoing his usual slot in sunny Barcelona for a DJ set at city clubbing fixture The Jazz Rooms. As usual it’ll be a night with lashings of funk and jazz of the dance (rather then noodly) variety, complete with a welcoming and ready-to-party crowd that’s reassuringly beard-stroker free.

Etch (Bonobo), Audio, Friday 18

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BARS &CLUBS

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CLUBLISTINGS 15 – 21 April Tuesday 15 Audio Snide. Tight-trousered indie disco.

10pm–2:30am, £2/1 Brighton Coalition Salsa Brighton. Salsa classes followed by a 'Latin Fever' club night.

8pm–10:30pm, £TBC Pavilion Tavern Guerrilla Rocks. Everything good about metal, emo, indie and alternative.

10:30pm–2am, £2 Po Na Na Dress to impress for a night of funky house, hip hop and old skool. 11pm–4am, £5/4 Digital Glitterati. A sophisticated night for students with DJ Airforce One. 10:30pm–3am, £3.50/3 Volks The Mutant Club. Two full floors of indie, rock and rave. 10pm–2am, £2

Wednesday 16

Brighton Coalition Karaoke Rock Star. Are you a rockstar? Show the world with the backing of a full live rock band. 10:30pm–2am, £8/6 Candy Bar Dynamite Boogaloo. Join the decadent party antics of Boogaloo Stu and co with kitsch pop and indie. 9pm–2am, £4/3 Digital Lovedough. Mike Panteli plays sexy R’n’B and hip hop with international guests.

11pm–3am, £5/4 Funky Buddha Lounge Warm Your Soul.

Classic soul and funk to put some funk in your soul. 10:30pm–3am, £4/2 Heist Cocktail Party. Cocktails to live music with Lizzy Littlejohn and Duncan Howlett. 8pm, Free Honey Club Contagious. Paul Hilyer and Howie play classic house and dance anthems.

10:30pm–3am, £4/2 Pavilion Tavern Dirty Words. Genre-trashing soiree with the best of indie and electro.

10pm–2am, £2 Water Margin Artrocker. New cutting edge indie night with Marcus O'Dair and Jon Slade.

8pm–3am, £TBC

Brighton Coalition Latin Fever.

Latin party with DJ Aaron Geo and friends playing salsa.

10.30pm–2am, £TBC Digital Glitterati Swanky soiree for students with Air Force One. 11pm–3am, Arc Free Party. New £3.50/3 disco, breaks, electro Duke of Norfolk and more all for nish, Open Mic Grab a guitar nada, nought pence. and start your quest for 10.30pm–3am, free global stardom. 9pm, free Summer of Love '08, Audio Tru Thoughts Po Na Na Tap R’n’B and funky Audio, Saturday 19 present Etch Live. Featuring a house from special guest Ronnie DJ set from Simian spinner Herel. 11pm–4am, £5/4 Bonobo and Belleruche live.

Setting Sun Pub Quiz. Test your little grey 10pm–3am, £10/8 cells over a pint or two. 8pm–11pm, free Barfly Take Me Out. Indie-fuelled Friday nighter The Fountain Head Open Mic. Acoustic with alternative anthems. 10:30pm–3am, £5/4 open-mic night welcoming all manner of Brighton Coalition Bazouki. Contact venue for singers, musicians and poets. 8pm, free details. 10pm–3am, £TBC Volks The Mutant Club. Two floors of indie, Brighton Coalition Late Lounge. Laid back rock and rave hosted by DJ Lamp and Black Frog. beats and chilled cocktails to take you through 10pm–2am, £2 to the dawn. 4am–8am, £TBC Water Margin RPRZNT Allstars. Student Concorde 2 Supercharged presents Plump DJs. exclusive with funky grooves and heavy Plump it up as the heavyweight breakbeat duo basslines. 10pm–2am, free hit Brighton. 11pm–4am, £12.50.

Digital Stone Love. 101% indie rock and roll attitude with electro in the arch. 11pm–4am, £4 Duke of Norfolk DJ night. Funky tuneage from Barfly Mad For It. Long-running indie soiree resident DJs. 8pm, free with cheap drinks deals on pints. 10:30pm–2am, Funky Buddha Lounge Thank Funk it's Friday. £3/1.50 DJ Sean Quinn breaks out the funky vibes and

Friday 18

Thursday 17

Tru Thoughts present Etch Live.

Featuring a DJ set from Simian spinner Bonobo, Audio, Friday 18

party tunes. 10pm–3am, Free B4 11pm/ 6 B4 midnight/8 after Funky Fish Funkyfish. Roll up for soul, funk, Motown and old skool breaks. 10pm–3am, £6/3.50 Hanbury Club Club Chat Noir. Mike the Mic and Moose Manouche roll out red hot swing and cool gypsy tuneage. 7pm–2am, £9/7 Honey Club Honey. Quality house music with Brian Cheetham, Lee Garrett and The Drunk Punks. 10pm–3am, £8/5 Komedia Born Bad. Delinquent rock and roll rhythms and 60s garage crosses swords with surf, sleaze, exotica and twirly skirts.

11pm–3am, £6/5 Ocean Rooms Universe. Indie electro night with special guests. 10pm–4am, £5/3 Pavilion Tavern Kick Out the Jams. Take advantage of bargain bar prices and lap up the best in indie and alternative music.

10:30pm–3am, £4/3 Volks Cut Loose. Brighton soundclash featuring old skool and hardcore from the Extra Y Soundsystem. 10pm- 4am, £4/3 Water Margin B-side. Creative blend of breaks, minimal and electro with Tiger Lily and friends.

10pm–3am, £5

Saturday 19

Supercharged presents Plump DJs, Concorde 2, Friday 18

➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory for details

Arc Hold Up. Find your indie heroes playing all things alternative and jangly. 10pm–3am, £5 Audio Summer of Love '08.

Celebrate 20 years of acieeed with a two floor free party fronted by Schtumm! DJs. 11pm–3am, free Barfly The Graveyard Shifts. Top psychobilly night with live music from Demented are Go plus DJ sets from Peter Von Sleaze.

8:30pm–2am, £10 Brighton Coalition Guilty Pleasures. Sean Rowley presents a round up of the music you'd never admit to enjoying while sober. 11pm–4am, £TBC Brighton Coalition After Moon.

Chilled out tunes and cocktails to ease you into Sunday. 4am–8am, £TBC Concorde 2 Slackers Convention. The Brighton party breaks collective plays host to Red Snapper with support from Symmetrik and Paul Blackford. 10pm–4am, £10/7.50 Digital Sessions. Junkbox present another big Saturday night techno/electro soiree.

11pm–4am, £10 Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Classic soulful music down by the sea from Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10 Funky Fish Funkyfish. Roll up for soul, funk, jazz and old skool breaks. 10pm–3am, £6/3.50 Heist Jack It. A double floor helping of hip hop and jackin' house music. 10pm–3am, Free Honey Club Seven Sins. Marcel Woods plays big room house and pumping electro with the odd bit of R’n’B. 10:30pm–5am, £12/18/5 Jazz Place The Brighton Jazz Rooms. Roger C beams in from Barcelona to play dancefloor jazz and Afro funk. 10:30pm–3am, £6/5 Water Margin One Inch Badge presents Throw Up and Die. Chaotic indie disco with a live turn from electro-style Glaswegian Gay Against You. 10pm–3am, £7/6/5 Water Margin Logo. Future heroes and world famous DJs play all things house while Fleven funks it up in the bar. 3am–8am, £7/5

Sunday 20 Honeyclub Sundelicious. Saucy Sabbath club night rocking proper jacking house for an up-forit crowd. 10pm–3am, £2

Monday 21 Arc We Love 90s. Trashy non-stop pop from the decade that seems only five seconds ago... or is that just me? 10:30pm–3am, 90p Honeyclub Disco Babe. Disco anthems from the 70s to the 90s in the main room, while it's all smooth R’n’B out back. 10:30pm–2:30am, £3/1 Po Na Na Fatpoppadaddys. All things funk, indie and hip hop washed down with cheap drinks deals all night long. 10pm–2:30am, £3/2/1

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053_LS368 gay news

4/10/08

4:54 PM

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latest gay Brighton’s only weekly gay guide starts here

Stonewall success

NEWS

A star-studded night at the Dorchester Hotel raises vital funds and awareness

A Brighton artist will unveil her newest work this month, aiming to create awareness about AIDS by ‘embodying the viewer and creating a sensory and emotional experience’.

Sophie Savage’s piece Under Attack was developed with help from Positive Voices and can be viewed at Brighton University’s Grand Parade Campus on 24 April.

Stonewall’s tenth Equality Dinner raised £320,000 for the gay equality organisation. Among items auctioned on the night included an opportunity to have tea with Tony Blair that secured a bid of £20,000.

Other items on auction included a photograph by the award-winning photographer, Kobi Israel that raised a further £10,000. Speaking to Latest Gay, Mr Israel said he was delighted he could support Stonewall in any way possible. “Every year I donate several pieces of my work to charities and causes that I consider worthy such as to BFAMI, and HIV and human rights organisations in Israel, UK and the US,“ he said. “The highlight organisation for me is Stonewall UK. I have been donating my works to them since 2004, as a token of my appreciation for their work.“ At this year’s dinner the keynote speaker was Sir Ian McKellen. He gave a rousing speech about the charity’s

15–21 April

HIV art installation

Football World Cup The International Gay and Lesbian Football Association World Championship takes place in London, 24–30 August 2008.

There are four different tournaments to enter: Women’s 11-a-side or 7-aside and Men’s 11-a-side in Division One or Division Two. Player registration ends on 30 April and the organisers are desperately looking for volunteers in the following areas: stewards, stage set-up, security checkers for lockers, sports massage therapists and sign language interpreters.

Contact: info@iglfa.org or volunteers@londonwc2008.co.uk ‘tireless work for equality‘. The auction was led by stage actor and television celebrity Christopher Biggins.

All funds raised will go towards Stonewall campaigns such as ‘Education for All’, which is tackling homophobic bullying in Britain’s schools.

The next Stonewall fundraising event is the Brighton Equality Walk, taking place on Bank Holiday Sunday 4 May.

Open Door Open Door, the centre for people living with HIV in Brighton and Hove, are setting up a steering group in order to identify the needs of people living with HIV in the city and East Sussex.

Any person living locally and living with HIV is encouraged to get involved. Questions that will be raised include: What HIV services do you use and are they meeting your needs? Through to: What health promotion services would you use (if any), such as workshops or group sessions?

If you want to discuss anything please contact Andrew Hanuman (pictured below) at Open Door on 01273 605706 or andrew.hanuman@opendoorbrighton.org.

International Day Against Homophobia (IDAHO) IDAHO is marked every year on Saturday 17 May – the day in 1990 that the World Health Organisation removed homosexuality from their list of mental disorders.

Today, there are 77 countries in the world where it is a criminal offence to be gay – in nine of them it is a capital offence.

Among IDAHO’s plans for this year are events in Blackpool, Brighton, Croydon, Bournemouth, Edinburgh, Hartlepool, Manchester, Sheffield, Southampton and Woking.

IDAHO, founded in 2005 by Frenchman Louis-Georges Tin, is marked internationally, with gay groups across the world marking the day with special events.

k

If you have a story for Latest Gay please email paul.disney@magazinedoctor.co.uk or call 01273 690602

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LATESTGAY

Woman to woman She’s a writer, editor, event organiser and feminist. Paul Disney caught up with Sheila McWattie to find out about her work at The Brighton Women’s Centre and planning for Brighton Pride Describe yourself.

I am originally from Paisley in the west of Scotland. I can be a very serious person although sometimes I think I need to learn to be a bit more spontaneous. I am a good friend and very loyal.

Why Brighton and Hove?

I feel that Brighton and Hove offers people a wide range of opportunities that you really don’t find anywhere else. Before I moved here, in 1996, I had studied sociology at university in Edinburgh and worked in a women’s collective in Edinburgh and London.

Eventually I just got fed up with London. I had visited Brighton on several occasions and had friends here, I thought it was the next logical step for me. As a woman and a lesbian you have more of an identity in this city and if you do something to help your local community you get a lot of respect for doing so.

Volunteering at the Brighton Women’s Centre gives you a great feeling of contributing to something worthwhile and actually doing something positive that can change women’s lives.

So what is the Brighton Women’s Centre?

It’s a safe space for women on a wide range of issues from women who may feel isolated in the city through to issues around homelessness and offering a supportive, safe group for women experiencing or who have experienced an abusive relationship.

We warmly welcome all women: refugees, asylum seekers, young women and lone parents; to participate in creative activities. These workshops are not therapy groups but they do offer lowcost opportunities for women to meet others and develop creative interests and skills.

How long have you been involved with the Centre?

I started in 1999. I had just begun my journalism course at Brighton and Hove City College when the centre has its funding cut by the council. So I started doing some part-time work with Shirley West, who helped and supported me tremendously and ended up doing all their press releases and media relations.

Why is there a need for the Brighton Women’s Centre?

Even in these so-called enlightened times we live in, women still need a safe space. Often the centre is the first port of call for women who have been raped or who have suffered domestic abuse. Women access counselling at the centre for a wide variety of reasons from improving their self-esteem through to complementary therapies or just using the crèche facilities that give mothers a couple of hours for their own time; maybe just popping in for a cup of tea.

With the above in mind, how does the centre support women?

The Women’s Centre acts as a hub for many different organisations. We deal with anything from homeless women who are frightened their children may be taken into care, mental health problems and alcohol dependency. As a first port of call we can advise what other agencies in Brighton and Hove can offer women and point them in the right direction – with our full support.

We’re also very ‘visible’. The fact we are here means that women recognise that they are not alone. Women don’t have to feel helpless or isolated. The centre can empower women to make personal changes to their lives.

You’re involved with The Brighton Pride Women’s tent. Tell me about that?

I’m really proud to be part of this. It’s a safe space for women at Pride that has literally thousands of people visiting the tent throughout the day. It’s also a chance for female performers to get up on stage and perform to other women – it’s proved extremely popular. It takes a lot of hard work to put everything together but the satisfaction at the end of the day is enormous.

What are the logistics behind organising the Women’s tent at Brighton Pride?

We really couldn’t do it without volunteers. The volunteers welcome people, make sure refreshments are available, put up decorations and take the whole thing down again 12 hours later. Volunteering itself is a good way for women to meet other women so it’s a two-way thing really.

We also get a grant from Brighton and Hove City Council for the event and Brighton Pride pays for the tent itself. It’s a real community event and supported by everyone.

This year we’ve got an even bigger tent and we are looking forward to welcoming women and their friends and family for a day of women’s pride.

If you would like to know more about the Brighton Women’s Centre then Call: 01273 698036 or contact: info@womenscentre.org.uk for further information. Brighton Women’s Centre, 72 High Street, Brighton BN2 1RP. www.womenscentre.org.uk 54 latest 7

055_LS368 gay scene

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1:40 PM

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See more at latest7.co.uk

LATESTGAY

SCENE

Legend’s Bar

Legends Bar is one of Brighton’s the best placed bars, just high enough to afford stunning sea views from both the bar and the it’s large sun terrace. The ground floor bar has doubled in size and now encompasses a whole block on Brighton’s seafront! Open seven days a week the Basement Club is one of the largest venues in Brighton. See listings for what’s on and when. Or visit: www.legendsbrighton.com for further info.

Queen’s Arms

There’s no place quite like the Queen’s Arms. Having won the best cabaret bar in the recent Golden Handbag Awards it’s not surprising that this venue is always very busy and is at the heart of Brighton’s gay village. See listings for what’s on and when or visit: www.queensarmsbrighton.com for further information.

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056_LS368_gay highlights

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LATESTGAY

See more at latest7.co.uk

William Tells Will Harris welcomes a new dirty, sexy, TV loving gay character to our screens Good old Channel 4! Just when you think they can’t squeeze any more minority groups into their programming schedule, here comes TV with a side of TV. Or should that be TS? Yes, I’m talking about Dirty Sexy Money, the latest in the long line of high budget American network dramas that have filled Channel 4’s lucrative evening slot, which – no matter where or when the show is set – always seems to feature at least one gay character.

Of course, gay issues were being thoroughly explored back when Sex and the City had us glued to our screens, while Buffy nabbed most of the lesbian storylines years ago (with the more recent L Word tying up any loose ends). A trend began to emerge. Six Feet Under had a repressed gay son, Desperate Housewives had a slutty gay son, and Brit drama Shameless – not to be outdone by its transatlantic cousins – boasted two gay sons, one of them slutty, one of them repressed, and both of them chavs to boot.

Suddenly LGBT characters and storylines were everywhere, with the notable exception of Lost, where I can only conclude it was the token gay character that got lost. That or the scriptwriters realised they already had on their roster two Koreans, a junkie and a member of the Iraqi Imperial Guard, and were seriously worried about over-egging the pudding.

Even Ugly Betty, a very recent addition, had to pull out all the stops to tick the TV-friendly minority box with Alex/ Alexa, the beautiful post-op maleto-female transsexual son (why is it always sons? Have you noticed that?), who had a car accident and reverted back to his/ her male personality.

I know what you’re thinking. The American ‘writers strike’ wasn’t anything to do with pay; there just weren’t any more minorities to exploit!

Dirty Sexy Money, then, has clearly had to raise the stakes higher than ever before in its quest to be all-inclusive. Here we have yet another son who, this time, is a straight man who pays to have sex with transsexual hookers. I don’t even think there’s a name for that!

“Nowadays you can barely get three scenes through a soap without Sonia Jackson leaving her husband for another woman or arch-queen Antony Cotton gossiping over the gussets at Underworld. What next? “ Of course it’s a good thing that TV’s so inclusive nowadays. It seems like a lifetime ago that Brookie’s Liverpudlian lesbianism set suburban tongues wagging, or EastEnders Simon and Tony raised eyebrows across middle England. Nowadays you can barely get three scenes through a soap without Sonia Jackson leaving her husband for another woman or arch-queen Antony Cotton gossiping over the gussets at Underworld.

What next? Fizz undergoing a female-to-male sex change and renaming herself Fuzz?

I guess it’s no surprise that TV production companies want their storylines to be dirtier and their characters to be sexier than ever before.

When it comes to ratings, at least, it’s pretty much a no-brainer. Dirty + Sexy = Money.

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Solution to Quick 139 ACROSS: 5 Item 7 Distortion 8 Spin 10 Employer 11 Locate 12 Eighty 14 Fender 16 Wander 17 Streamer 19 Rush 21 Loveliness 22 Onus.

DOWN: 1 Odes 2 Standard 3 Freeze 4 Simple 5 Into 6 Effectless 9 Protection 13 Gangrene 15 Remove 16 Warble 18 Eels 20 Hose. © Crossword Shop

56 latest 7

GAYHIGHLIGHTS 15–21 April

TUESDAY 15 Legends Bar Pop stardom could be coming your way! Pub Stars 2008 is a national karaoke competition and tonight’s heat is the local final at Legends Bar with the winner representing Legends in the national competition later in the year. 11am–5am, free.

WEDNESDAY 16 Pam Ann: Terror at 41,000 Feet. The A-list airhostess to the stars returns with a cruelly funny show. 8pm, Pavilion Theatre, Worthing. £17.

Pam Ann: Terror at 41,000 Feet, Pavillion Theatre Worthing, Wednesday 16

THURSDAY 17 John Barrowman at The Dome Concert Hall. The actor, singer, television and West End star performs songs from luminaries such as: Elton John, Billy Joel, Cyndi Lauper, Barry Manilow and more as showcased on his latest album. 8pm, £27.50.

Nivea Funny Women Comedy Awards. Now in their sixth year, these awards encourage any woman who thinks she’s got what it takes to perform live stand-up. The final will be held at the Comedy Club in London’s West End in June. Komedia (downstairs), 8pm, £6.

FRIDAY 18 The popular Jazz Lounge with Wesley Sebastian at Amsterdam Bar and Bistro is a refreshing night to the scene. Relax and unwind to the unique sound of soulful swing and intimate jazz. Food from 11am–8pm.

Sauna open 5pm–4am residents £5/£8.

John Barrowman, The Dome, Thursday 17

SATURDAY 19 Carly Bryant at Komedia Studio Bar. Official launch of the Brighton singer's new album featuring Reef keyboard player Jason Knight and Los Albertos' Chez on sax. 8pm, £4 (includes a glass of champagne).

Expect the Unexpected at The Queen’s Arms. Top cabaret with Dave Lynn with DJ Kamp Kevin and Open the Box. The party begins at 8.30pm Now open earlier at midday. Happy hours until 7pm. Open: 12 noon–12.30pm.

SUNDAY 20 Start your Cabaret Sunday in style with a homemade and freshly cooked traditional Sunday Roast (12pm–5.30pm) at The Amsterdam Bar and Bistro. Then join the sensational Dame Connie Conway as she hosts her karaoke show 8pm–1am.

Sauna open 5pm–4am residents £5/8.

Cabaret with Boy George Experience (3.15pm) at Legends Bar. Followed by all day chill out bar. Free. 11am–5am.

MONDAY 21 Gay Tango classes at Joogleberry.

8pm, £10 per class (£35 for a fourweek course).

Cabaret with Boy George Experience, Legends Bar, Sunday 20

To advertise here costs only £20 Call Marie Viviani now!

01273 818150 ext 102

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4/11/08

11:27 AM

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GAY

GAYLISTINGS 15-21 April

Tuesday 15 Amsterdam Bar and Bistro Food from 11am8pm. Sauna open 5pm–4am. £5/8 Candy Bar Twisted karaoke night hosted by mistress of mic, Cat. DJ Rocket 9pm–2am free Legends Pub Stars 2008 national karaoke competition, with the winner of each heat representing Legends in the national competition later in the year.11am–5am Queen’s Arms Betty’s Karaoke Show 9pm Star Inn Charity Jukebox. Choose songs and give to charity! Food: 12–3pm and 6–9pm

Wednesday 16 Amsterdam Bar and Bistro The Big Quiz. Get your brain juices going with the new weekly quiz night. Food from 11am–8pm. Quiz 8pm The Basement Club@Legends Play. With DJ Alex Baker. Uplifting house and dance anthems.

11pm–4am, free Candy Bar Bring it On. Hosted by Queen Josephine and introducing DJ Princess. Open deck night where you are the DJ. 9pm–2am free Legends Bar Terrace/bar.11pm–5am Queen’s Arms Midweek get-together! Music, quiz and bingo evening. 9pm Star Inn Charity Jukebox. Choose songs and give to charity! Food: 12-3pm and 6–9pm

Thursday 17 The Basement Club@Legends Sessions with DJ Eddie K. Tonight Eddie brings a taste of London to Brighton midweek. Plus selected premium drinks £2. 11pm–3:30am free Candy Bar Dynamite Boogaloo. Djs Boogaloo Stu and Dolly Rocket plus showbiz cabaret.

9pm-2am £5/3 Legends Bar Cabaret spot with Davina Sparkle.

Bar open: 11am–5am, cabaret 9:30pm Queen’s Arms Betty’s Karaoke Show 9pm–11:30pm Religion@Charles Street Club Two floors with Mother Superior Joan Bond, DJ Tony B. Anthems, funky house. Drinks £1. 10pm, £4/3 Star Inn Quiz night with buffet. Food: 12–3pm and 6–9pm

Friday 18 Amsterdam Bar and Bistro. Jazz Lounge with Wesley Sebastian. Swing and intimate jazz.

7.30pm–11.30pm, £5/8 The Basement Club@Legends Celebration.

Dave Lynn, Legends Bar, Monday 21 Door Whore Pooh La May presides over the cabaret from The Chavettes. DJs Steve Lush and Alex Baker play girly pop and handbag tracks.

11pm–4am, free before midnight/4 after Candy Bar Booty Call. DJ Rocket plays an eclectic mix of urban grinds and pop anthems.

9pm–late, free Legends Bar Terrace and bar open all day and pre celebration with pure pop sounds at 7pm.

11am–5am, free Queen’s Arms Camptastic cabaret. Kamp Kevin plays the best of everything. Impromptu cabaret and games. Open until 12:30am Star Inn Bear Camp Party. Until late. Food: 12–3pm and 6–9pm

Saturday 19 Amsterdam Bar and Bistro D.I.S.C.O. A night devoted to 70s and party music for pre-clubbers!

8pm–2am, free The Basement Club@Legends Ignition. Ignite your life at Brighton’s latest gay popular Saturday nighter with the cool dance sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free before midnight/£5 after Candy Bar Sugar. Brighton’s best girl DJs on rotation. Including the Golden Handbag Award, and best female DJ Queen Josephine 10pm £5 Legends Bar Terrace and bar open all day. PreIgnition with Ignition DJ sounds from 7pm.

Smoking terrace, bar open: 11am–5am free Queen’s Arms Expect to be entertained! Tonight The Not Easily Offended Show with Kitty Litter (9pm) and party with DJ Andy B. Open until 12am Revenge Kinky Dangerous. DJ Dusty O, Nik C, Dulcie Danger plays dangerous house upstairs.

10:30pm–late £5 before midnight/7 after Star Inn Bear Essentials: Bears’ social night with DJ Charlie, free

Sunday 20 Amsterdam Bar and Bistro Cabaret Sunday with Dame Connie Conway. 8pm–2am, free

➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory for details

The Basement Club@Legends Embrace. With G.A.Y DJ Nick Shepherdson. 11pm–3:30am free Candy Bar Circus Sirens. A big top night of circus burlesque, acrobatics on the pole,fire eaters etc. DJ Queen Josephine. 9pm, £5/3 Legends Bar Cabaret with Boy George Experience (3:15pm), free Queen’s Arms Super Sundays. Top cabaret from Lady Imelda (5.30pm). Pubstars karaoke at 8pm Open until 11pm.

Star Inn Bear Bash: Bear’s social night, with Bearaoke at 8pm. free

Monday 21 Amsterdam Bar and Bistro The Queen’s birthday! Relax and unwind with a la carte menu. 11am–8pm The Basement Club@Legends DJ Steve Lush with the greatest anthems and classic floor fillers. 11pm–3:30am Candy Bar Shibby Shabblers. DJs Pookie and Crackwhore. £1.50 pints and vodka mix.

10pm–2am £3/2 Queen’s Arms Cherry-oke with Cherry Poppin.

9pm, free. Open until 11:30pm Legends Bar Cabaret: Dave Lynn. 9:30pm, free Star Inn Polar Bears and Silver Daddies night.

Food: 12–3pm and 6–9pm. 11am-11pm free

Bar venues Codes: (b) bar (c) club (f) food (h) hotel (s) sauna Amsterdam (b,f,h,s) 11-12 Marine Parade BN2.

Tel: 01273 688825.

Aquarium Theatre Bar (b) 6 Steine St BN2.

Tel: 01273 605525.

Bedford Tavern (b) 30 Western St, Hove.

Tel: 01273 739495.

Brighton Rocks (b,f) 6 Rock Place, BN2.

Tel: 01273 601139.

Bulldog (b) 31 St James's St, BN2.

Tel: 01273 696996.

Candy Bar (b,c) 129 St James's St, BN2.

Tel: 01273 622424.

Charles St (b,c,f) 8 Marine Parade, BN2.

Tel: 01273 624091.

Dr Brighton’s (b) 16 Kings Rd, BN1.

Tel: 01273 328765.

Grosvenor (b, f), 16 Western St, Hove.

Tel: 01273 770712.

Joogleberry Playhouse (b,c,f) Manchester St, BN2. Tel: 01273 687171.

Legends (b,c,h,f) 31-32 Marine Parade, BN2.

Tel: 01273 624462.

Marine Tavern (b) 13 Broad St, BN2.

Tel: 01273 681284 Marlborough Bar and Theatre (b,f) 4 Princes St, BN2. Tel: 01273 570028.

Prince Arthur (b,f) 38 Dean St, BN1.

Tel: 01273 203472.

The PV (b,f) Upper North St, BN1.

Tel: 01273 325491.

Queen’s Arms (b) 7 George St, BN2.

Tel: 01273 696873.

R-Bar (b,f) 7 Marine Parade, BN2.

Tel: 01273 608133.

Refresh Sauna (s,f) 11-12 Marine Parade BN2 Tel: 01273 689966.

Revenge (c) Old Steine, BN2.

Tel: 01273 606 064.

Star Inn (b,f) Manchester St, BN2.

Tel: 01273 601450.

Vavoom (b) 31 Old Steine, BN2.

Tel: 01273 603010.

V2 Club (c) 5 Steine St, BN2.

Tel: 01273 603010.

White Horse (b) Camelford St, BN2.

Tel: 01273 603726.

Zone (b) 33 St James's St, BN2 Tel: 01273 682249.

LGBT groups and services Brighton and Hove Police Report all homophobic and transphobic incidents to the police.

Tel: 0845 6070999.

Brighton and Hove LGBT Switchboard Helpline from 5pm.

Tel: 01273 204050.

Brighton Ourstory Project Including shows, exhibitions and books for research in LGBT communities.

Tel: 01273 207757.

Brighton Women’s Centre Information, counselling, drop-in, support groups.

Tel: 01273 698036.

Gems. Twice monthly meetings for over 50s.

Tel: 01273 737433.

Mind Out Independent, impartial advice for LGBT people with mental health issues.

Tel 01273 739847.

Lesbian and Gay AA (general AA helpline).

Tel: 01273 203343.

LGBT NA Group. Narcotics Anonymous group.

Meets Fridays.

Tel: 01273 604604 Open Door Support, referrals, advice, complimentary therapies, back to work training.

Tel: 01273 605706.

Something New Making choices, sharing lives.

Group get together for gay men.

Tel: 0870 760 5476.

Sussex Beacon 24-hour medical care and day care.

Tel: 01273 694222.

Terrence Higgins Trust South HIV, free condoms, counselling and outreach work.

Tel: 01273 764200.

Wilde Clinic Gay men’s sexual health clinic open wed 6pm-9pm.

Tel: 01273 664721 Send community listings updates to listings@thelatest.co.uk

latest 7 57

058_LS368_TVIntro

4/11/08

11:17 AM

Page 2

latestTV

Dani on TV

She says it how she sees it

Films on TV

15 – 21 April

Movies on the box this week

Pushing Daisies

TUESDAY 15

SATURDAY 19

ITV1, Saturdays, 9pm

The Big White ★✩✩✩✩ (2005, BBC1, 11.05pm. Dir Mark Mylod) An offbeat American indie flick based around a botched crime set in the snowy wastes of Alaska? This caper comedy starring Robin William as an insurance-scamming travel agent strives for Fargo-style greatness, but (despite a good turn by Holly Hunter) lacks the necessary warmth or quirk.

Air America ★★★✩✩ (1990, BBC 1, 11.50pm.

Dir Roger Spottiswoode) Mel Gibson and Robert Downey Jr buddy-buddy their way through this so-so action flick about a couple of CIA-sponsored smugglers specialising in flying heroin into Vietnam to finance the anti-Communist rebels. A good premise that’s lost in spectacular explosions and a predictable 1960s rock soundtrack.

Finally it has arrived. I have been looking forward to this since I first saw an advert for it about two months ago. The story follows Ned, a pie maker, who (as well as having a talent for making tasty pies) can also bring people and things back from the dead. But the catch is that he can only bring them back once. Anything he has brought back will die for good if he touches it again.

Which doesn’t really bother Ned all that much until he finds out that the love of his life, Charlotte ‘Chuck’ Charles’ (played by Anna Friel), has died. So obviously he can’t just leave her dead. He wakes her up but then has to explain to her that he can never touch her, because if he does she will be gone forever, and also has to explain about how she died and how he managed to bring her back!

So the romance that ended all too soon is brought back to life (excuse the pun) and life returns to being as normal as possible.

Ned has discovered the best way to use his unusual power is to wake up murder victims, get them to describe their murderers, touch them again to make them die once more and then reap the reward for finding out who did it.

It’s filmed like a modern day fairy tale (as that’s just what it is), but when I say filmed like one I mean, well, it just doesn’t look like anything else we have had on our TV screens. It’s bright. The colours are bright, the characters are bright, the script is rather jolly seeing as its subject matter is generally death and murder. Everything appears like it’s a Technicolor film times ten.

Saturday television had become quite dull, but now, thankfully, something absolutely new has filled the void. Brilliantly (providing that there is not another writers’ strike) there will be a series two and possibly more, which is good news seeing as anything that is good at the moment can’t seem to stretch past three episodes.

Also it’s great to see Anna Friel, she has to be one of our best exports and I love it when our British stars do well in America and this is a great role. This modern day ‘love from afar’ tale, set in a ‘50s technicolour dream world where the dead can be brought back to life is something completely different and well deserving of all the praise it is getting over the pond. This is definitely the thing to be watching, so make sure you don’t miss out!

58 latest 7

WEDNESDAY 16 (1995, Film 4, 11pm. Dir Mike Leigh) With Mike Leigh’s newie at cinemas soon, reacquaint yourself with one of his finest moments with this tale of race and family relationships in the London suburbs. Brenda Blethyn is brilliant as an emotionally damaged mum who’s reunited with a daughter she never knew she had.

Boiler Room ★★★★✩ (2000, Channel 4, 12.50pm.

Dir Ben Younger) The fast-talking world of scamming telemarketing stock traders is the backdrop to director Ben Younger’s spin on Wall Street and Glengarry Glen Ross. Giovanni Ribisi stars as Seth, a wannabe high-flyer who rapidly learns that to make a killing, you sometimes have to bend the law.

THURSDAY 17

SUNDAY 20

West Side Story ★★★★✩ (1961, Sky Movies Classics, 12.45pm.

Dir Jerome Robbins) “Everything’s free in America/For a small fee in America”. Stephen Sondheim’s lyrics add extra street smarts to an all-singing musical version of Romeo and Juliet set in NYC. Natalie Wood and Richard Beymer are the lovers caught in a gangland war.

She’s All That ★★★✩✩

FRIDAY 18

MONDAY 21

It’s All Gone Pete Tong

The Proposition ★★★★✩

Secrets and Lies ★★★★✩

★★★★✩ (2004, BBC 1, 11.40pm. Dir Michael Dowse) What happens to a hedonistic superstar DJ living the clubbing dream in Ibiza when he starts going deaf? That’s the problem facing Frankie Wilde (Paul Kaye) in this surprisingly affecting comedy drama.

Luckily he has petty speech therapist Beatriz Batarda to help stop his descent into drug-assisted despair.

Metropolitan ★★★★✩ (1990, BBC 2, 12.35am. Dir Whit Stillman) New York’s upper-crust teens get a serious skewering in this arch, Woody Allen referencing look at the ‘coming out’ parties of a new generation of privileged debutantes.

Not much happens plotwise – but crushes develop and hearts break around the viewer’s way into this hidden world, reluctant party-goer Edward Clements.

(1999, Channel 4, 10.40pm.

Dir Robert Iscove) Don’t you just love it when Americans decide to take the tales of the British literati and – like, teenage it all up in the Valley – oh, a mall! Not the breakaway success of Ten Things I Hate About You, but a fair stab at Pigmalion from the ditzy.

Starring Freddie Prinze Jnr.

(2005, Channel 4, 11.20pm.

Dir John Hillcoat) Nick Cave’s gloomy script brings Biblical pathos to a violent antipodean Western. Guy Pearce exels as an outlaw forced to kill his wayward brother by ex-pat policeman Ray Winstone. The Australian sun never looked this relentless or unforgiving.

059_LS368_TV_Tue

4/9/08

2:42 PM

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tuesday 15 The Age Of Terror BBC2, 9pm Peter Taylor explores the legacy of four major terror attacks from the last 30 odd years – it’s got to bend a person’s attitudes. The first to come under his scrutiny is the 1976 hijacking of a plane by Palestinians, culminating with a raid on the aircraft in Idi Amin’s Uganda. How have attitudes to travel changed? And terror?

Shameless Channel 4, 10pm There’s an earthquake in Manchester – yes there is!

And this shakes Monica’s baby, deciding now is the time to come out. Demanding Frank be by her side, the proud father is distracted by the coma he’s fallen into having fallen off his bar stool.

Oops. Dream time with a cool Frank and straight Ian. Fun.

Chinese School BBC4, 9pm And we thought Brit kids had it bad on the exam front. It’s May, and that means the senior Chinese students face the all important Goa Kao exams that determine if their families will live in prosperity or poverty. No pressure then. Plus, Wu Lin starts researching the polluted river near her school.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 To Buy Or Not To Buy 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Open House 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News And Weather 3.05 Space Pirates 3.35 Smalltalk Diaries 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.00 The Cramp Twins 4.15 Dinosapien 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News; Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Bianca’s determined to win her kids round and Ronnie feels pushed out by the arrival of Penny. Are Mitchell women allowed to have a name that doesn’t end in ‘ie’?

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby City When Jac realises her colleagues don’t trust her, she sets out to prove them wrong.

Michael becomes paranoid as Donna gossips about him. Not known for her discretion, that one.

9.00 Waking The Dead Boyd and the team investigate Lore’s true identity and the reasons why she is in danger. Sounds like Legolas should be on the horizon. He’s not though.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.35 One Foot In The Grave A new home security system threatens Victor’s chances of sneaking off to the European Cup quarter-final.

11.05 FILM: The Big White (2005) Starring Robin Williams, Holly Hunter, Giovanni Ribisi, Woody Harrelson.

A travel agent hits on a novel idea to solve his cash problems.

12.45am Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.20 Blackpool Medics 1.50 Tiger Spy In The Jungle 2.50 To Buy Or Not To Buy

6.00– 9.05am CHildren’s television 9.05 Boogie Beebies 9.15 Me Too! 9.35 Something Special 9.50 Be Safe With The Tweenies 10.00 In The Night Garden 10.30 Fun With Phonics 10.40 Fun With Phonics 10.50 Primary History 11.10 Timewatch 12.10pm Coast: Scotland – Fishing 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 The Maths Channel 1.10 Primary Geography 1.30 Coast 1.35 FILM: Escape To Burma (1955) 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.10 ITV News 11.15 Meridian News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Midsomer Murders

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Just Shoot Me 8.25 Frasier 9.15 Will And Grace 9.45 Friends 10.15 The OC 11.15 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place In The Sun 1.00 Small Railway Journeys 1.15 FILM: Odette (1950) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00– 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm House Doctor 12.30 Five News 12.45 Law And Order 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Jane Doe: Now You See It, Now You Don’t (2005) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Big League Weekend 10.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 11.30 Fishing: Bass Fishing 12.30pm Big League Weekend 2.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.00 Big League Weekend 4.30 Test Cricket 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 LIVE Championship Football 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am Championship Football 1.30 Revista De La Liga 2.30 World Motor Sport 5.00 Revista De La Liga

6.00 Eggheads Quizzy thinks.

6.30 Great British Menu The country’s top chefs compete to cook a banquet at London’s Gherkin building.

The chefs from the North preparing their fish courses. Tasty treats.

7.00 Around The World In 80 Gardens Monty Don visits the world’s 80 most inspiring gardens, this time on the Mediterranean. Need an assistant? Lovely places seen.

8.00 University Challenge – The Professionals In the first semifinal, the National Physical Laboratory team does battle with the Hospital Consultants for a place in the final.

8.30 Johnny’s New Kingdom Adventure with Johnny Kingdom, wildlife cameraman.

9.00 The Age Of Terror See highlights.

10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland Jools Holland presents old and new music live from BBC Television Centre. Portishead, Sharon Jones And The Dap Kings and The Last Shadow Puppets are just some of the musos entertaining each other.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Mad Men When Roger and Don hit the town together, Roger’s behavior puts a strain on their relationship.

12.10am Joins BBC News 24 3.20 Close 4.00 KS3 Bitesize: Maths 3 5.45 Talk German

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.25 Party Election Broadcast By The Green Party 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Pollard lies in wait to catch his blackmailer. What’s he going to do with it when he catches it? Dress it up in dog clothes? Maybe.

8.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Chris Tarrant hosts the award-winning quiz show in which contestants can win – guess how much. Does the title give it away?

9.00 Cops With Cameras A gang of burglars are caught red-handed stealing from a flat. Was there red paint in the flat?

10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Benidorm Janice tries to convince Madge not to agree to a wedding to a man they have only known for five minutes. Holiday romance or London Tonight Special?

11.05 Teenage Kicks When the kids tell Vernon he was a bad father while they were growing up, he is mortified and sets about putting things right.

11.35 Dexter Debra and Batista have proof of the Ice Truck Killer’s identity and hunt to catch him before he kills again. Tension a-plenty.

12.35am Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Crime 2.20 Loose Women 3.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Gilly refutes Michaela’s claims about Rhys and Beth but is in for a shock later. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 How To Look Good Naked Expert stylist Gok Wan meets nurse Rachel, who hates her appearance so much she has put off marrying her partner. Because we all know getting married makes us uglier – eh?

Meanwhile, journalists Rebecca Wilcox and Carole Machin lead an independent survey on hair shiners.

9.00 The Diets That Time Forgot Sir Roy calls in the army to give the slimmers some military-style training and learn the value of self-discipline.

10.00 Shameless See highlights.

11.05 Dirty Sexy Money Jeremy struggles to keep his affair with Juliet’s arch enemy a secret, and Brian Jnr needs his dad’s help to battle a school bully. Arch enemies are cool. No one has ‘em anymore.

12.05am PartyPoker.com Premier League Poker 1.05 Carlsberg High Five 1.30 Red Bull Air Race 3.00 Barcelona World Race 2007/2008 3.25 KOTV 3.50 Adrenalin Rush 4.20 Freesports On 4 5.15 St Elsewhere

6.00 Home And Away Belle is torn between her career and her ethics.

It’s the old quandary of money or not becoming the devil incarnate.

6.30 Monkey Life Jim and Alison are on a rescue mission to Hungary to collect stump-tailed macaque Koko.

She has been living in a pet-shop cage for 20 years. Poor love.

7.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 7.30 Jaguar Adventure With Nigel Marven Nigel Marven travels to the world’s largest wetland in Brazil in pursuit of the elusive jaguar.

8.00 Big, Bigger, Biggest This film reveals the engineering behind the creation of the USS Nimitz, the biggest aircraft carrier in the world.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Investigating the disturbing death of a three-year-old girl whose identity remains unknown.

10.00 CSI: Miami Delko is rushed to hospital after being shot, and the hunt for Clavo Cruz takes a surprising turn. The hokey cokey?

11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Goren and Eames investigate the death of an urban explorer who is found in a water tower.

12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 NBA Basketball 3.30 French Football 4.20 Football Italiano 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 House Doctor

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 12.00pm Sports Adventure 12.30 High Five 1.00 Speedway 3.00 Modern Pentathlon World Cup 4.00 NFL: Total Access 5.00 Athletics 5.30 International Netball 7.30 LIVE Rugby Union 10.00 Mansion Poker Dome 12.00am Rugby Union 1.30 International Netball

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Sports Adventure 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Sports Adventure 8.30 British Rally Championship 9.00 Speedway 11.00 High Five 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Aerobics: Oz Style 12.30 British Rally Championship 1.00 NFL: Total Access 2.00 World Motor Sport 4.30 WWE Smackdown 6.30 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 7.30 LIVE International Cricket (x2) 3.30am High Five

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Cold Case 2.00 Angel 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Malcolm In The Middle 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Battlestar Galactica 10.50 The Dresden Files 11.50 Stargate Atlantis 12.50am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Young Mums’ Mansion: Friends And Family 7.30 Dog Borstal 8.00 Freaky Eaters 9.00 Young Mums’ Mansion 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Little Britain Abroad 11.00 The Wall 11.45 Family Guy (x2) 12.25 Young Mums’ Mansion 1.25 Freaky Eaters 2.20 Dog Borstal 2.50 Dog Borstal 3.20 Spendaholics

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Pop Go The Sixties 7.35 Batman 8.00 Life In Cold Blood 9.00 Chinese School. See highlights.

10.00 Goodness Gracious Me 10.30 FILM: Becket (1964) 12.50am Chinese School 1.50 Proms On Four 2007 3.25 Chinese School

3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter 9.00 Bionic Woman 10.00 Keith Lemon’s World Tour 10.35 Laura, Ben And Him 11.05 Comedy Cuts 11.35 FILM: Love Actually (2003) 2.05am Teleshopping

12.30pm The Wonder Years (x2) 1.30 Heartbeat 2.35 Wycliffe 3.45 Ironside 4.45 Pie In The Sky 5.50 Heartbeat 7.00 The Wonder Years (x2) 8.00 Pie In The Sky 9.00 Clocking Off 10.05 Hornblower 12.10am Clocking Off 1.20 Tales Of The Unexpected (x2) 2.15 The Rockford Files 3.05 Ironside 3.50 Film File

2.05pm Style Her Famous 2.35 Kevin Hill 3.30 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The Class 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Big Brother USA 10.00 Dirty Sexy Money 11.00 Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious 12.00am Scrubs (x2)

4.00pm Time Team 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Embarrassing Illnesses (x2) 10.00 True Stories: Living Goddess 11.55 Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip 12.55am True Stories: Living Goddess

4.00pm Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 America’s Next Top Model 9.00 New Most Haunted 10.00 Moonlight 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 New Most Haunted 2.00 Dead Famous 3.00 Wonder Woman 3.50 Veronica Mars

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.20pm Keeping Up Appearances 5.00 Last Of The Summer Wine 5.40 Dinnerladies 6.20 My Family 7.00 Porridge 7.40 Only Fools And Horses 8.20 Blackadder Goes Forth 9.00 The Royle Family (x2) 10.55 Blackadder The Third 11.35 Blackadder Goes Forth 12.15am Only Fools And Horses 12.55 Taggart

6.00pm Frasier (x2) 7.00 The Office: An American Workplace (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x3) 11.40 Two And A Half Men 12.10am Scrubs 12.40 South Park 1.10 Comedy Blue 1.40 Last Comic Standing 2.40 Sex And The City 3.15 Sexy Cam

1.00pm The FBI Files 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Storm Chasers 5.00 How Does That Work? 5.30 How Do They Do It? 6.00 Mythbusters (x2) 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls (x2) 10.00 Storm Chasers 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA: Body Of Evidence

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: The Phantom (1996) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 Dark Angel 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 9.00 FILM: Boa Vs Python (2004) 10.50 Dark Angel 11.50 FILM: Vampirella () 1.30am The Lost World 2.30 Ghost Stories

3.20pm Saturday Night And Sunday Morning (1960) 5.05 Father Goose (1964) 7.05 The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 9.00 Funny Face (1957) 10.50 The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner (1962) 12.45am Saturday Night And Sunday Morning (1960)

2.00pm Brotherhood (2004) 4.30 Better Luck Tomorrow (2003) 6.15 Everything Is Illuminated (2005) 8.15 A Scanner Darkly (2006) 10.00 Remnants Of Everest: The 1996 Tragedy (2007) 11.50 Resurrection Man (1997) 1.35am Rec Close Up 2.05 Mad Hot Ballroom (2005)

1.00pm Dragonwyck (1946) 3.10 Three Coins In The Fountain (1954) 5.15 The Last Wagon (1956) 7.20 Carpool (1996) 9.00 Million Dollar Baby (2004) Hilary Swank hits people and Clint Eastwood teaches her how to do it better. Quality flick. 11.30 Heartbreak Ridge (1986) 2.00am Last Night (1998)

9.05am The Sea Of Grass (1947) 11.15 Penelope (1966) 1.00pm Wives And Daughters 3.00 Mogambo (1953) 5.00 Forbidden Planet (1956) 6.50 Never So Few (1959) 9.00 Frantic (1988) 11.10 Shoot The Moon (1982) 1.15am Billy The Kid (1941) 2.55 The Journey (1959) 5.00 The Crowd (1928)

Classics

Indie

060_LS368_TV_Wed

4/9/08

2:42 PM

Page 1

wednesday 16 The Apprentice BBC1, 9pm Say ‘cheese!’ The teams are challenged to set up their own photography studios at a shopping centre on the edge of London. Time to look at the birdie but not keep your eye off the bottom line, which means tempers are frayed and co-operation isn’t on the cards.

We love the self-important gangs.

Indiana Jones: The True Story Five, 9pm You mean the fellow with the whip, the hat and Sean Connery as a Dad really exists? Well, Roy Chapman Andrews is the closest thing we’re going to get. With wild expeditions to the Far East, incredible discoveries and real peril, the American explorer and naturalist has caught our interest.

True Stories: Dave Gorman In America Unchained More4, 9pm You’d think it’d be a challenge but not too hard to cross America without patronising any of the big chains. So did Dave Gorman. And thus a three or four week journey became an eight-week odyssey.

Yup, tackling corporate America and asking where the family corner shops are is our Dave.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 To Buy Or Not To Buy 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Open House 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News And Weather 3.05 Space Pirates 3.35 Smalltalk Diaries 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation (x2) 4.10 Young Dracula 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Arthur 7.25 Newsround 7.29 The Owl 7.30 Hider In The House 8.30 Jackanory Junior 8.45 Numberjacks 9.05 Boogie Beebies 9.15 Me Too! 9.35 Something Special 9.50 Be Safe With The Tweenies 10.00 In The Night Garden 10.30 FILM: Only Angels Have Wings (1939) 12.30pm Open Gardens 1.00 See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Animal Park 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads It’s the quiz-ness.

6.30 Great British Menu The chefs from the North prepare their main courses: Nigel Haworth cooks a cannon of british white beef, smoked marrowbone and young cauliflower, while Anthony Flinn serves roast suckling pig with crispy pigs ear, baby squid, forum sponge and home air cured ham. Drool now.

7.00 As Time Goes By Sitcom.

7.50 Coast Neil Oliver investigates the Victorian Channel Tunnel.

8.00 Natural World Millionaire Paul Lister wants to turn his 23,000 acre estate north of Inverness into Europe’s first wilderness reserve.

8.50 Watching The Wild 9.00 Dan Cruickshank’s Adventures In Architecture Dan looks at buildings that evoke the image of heaven across religions and cultures, travelling to Egypt’s Sinai desert, China’s Hanging Temple, and Turkey’s Suleymaniye Mosque.

10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Companion discussion show to The Apprentice, with Adrian Chiles.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Desi DNA Asian arts and lifestyle magazine.

11.50 Arrested Development 12.15am Arrested Development 12.35 Arrested Development 12.55 Joins BBC News 24 3.40 Close 4.00 KS3 Bitesize: Science 3

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.10 ITV News 11.15 Meridian News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Midsomer Murders

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Just Shoot Me 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.25 Friends 10.00 The OC 11.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 11.55 3 Minute Wonder: My Music 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.30 FILM: Three Secrets (1950) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00–9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm House Doctor 12.30 Five News 12.45 Law And Order 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Rough Guide To Eco Escapes 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Mom At Sixteen (2005) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Revista De La Liga 10.00 Championship Football 11.30 Mansion Poker Dome 1.30pm Championship Football 3.00 Mansion Poker Dome 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.45 LIVE FA Youth Cup Final 2nd Leg 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am Total Rugby 12.30 FA Youth Cup Final 2nd Leg 2.00 Mansion Poker Dome 4.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.30 Sports Unlimited 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.25 Party Election Broadcast By The Labour Party 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Laura and Ashley are stunned to discover that Daniel wasn’t their baby. Was he their kettle? Back-scratcher? Who knows?

7.30 Coronation Street Tina finally agrees to talk to David, but will she stand by him? Time for a bath, lad.

8.00 The Bill Jack goes undercover working as an antiques dealer to nail a man called Roy Summers. He is then interrogated at gunpoint about antiques by Roy. Even Dave Dickinson would blanche under this pressure.

9.00 Rock Rivals Mal and Karina raise the stakes and agree that whoever’s protege wins the final gets everything. Someone’s not been checking on their protegees have they? Not the most stable of people.

10.00 News At Ten And Weather 10.35 Dexter A series of suicides are linked by a common factor: they all saw the same psychologist. Dexter goes undercover as one of the shrink’s patients to investigate.

11.45 Meridian Soccer Night 12.15am Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Crime 1.05 Quincy, ME 1.55 Loose Women 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The McQueens and the Valentines go to war. Over Bingo.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Property Ladder In Wanborough, Helen Simpkins and Paula Harris surprise Sarah with their plans to squeeze three bedrooms into a pair of tiny Victorian cottages. No cat swinging allowed in these rooms.

9.00 Child Genius This return visit to the prodigies introduced last year focuses on the youngest of the group including Peter, England’s under-12 chess champion. Meanwhile, eightyear-old Adam is off to a prestigious boarding school and Mikhail, the five-year-old maths genius, is now adept at spelling. Plus new child genius Georgia who became Mensa’s youngest member before her third birthday. Feel inadaquate much?

10.00 Desperate Housewives Gabrielle accompanies Lynette to the wig store. Hair-raising stuff.

11.05 Shameless Repeat.

12.10am 4 Music: The Nokia Green Room 12.40 4 Music: 4Play: The Last Shadow Puppets 12.55 FILM: Kaho Naa... Pyaar Hai (2000) 4.00 Immigration: The Inconvenient Truth 5.00 Unreported World 5.25 Countdown

6.00 Home And Away Belle’s rewritten article paints Sally as a villain. Will Drew make Belle choose between him and her job? Probably.

6.30 Monkey Life Nerves run high as the team attempts a first: a surrogate mum for a newborn baby orangutan. Ahh. 7.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 7.30 It Pays To Watch Martin offers money-saving tips to motorists, while journalist Kelvin MacKenzie undergoes the wallet workout.

8.00 Monster Moves Movers attempt to relocate a huge restaurant in Manitoba, Canada. Plus, others try and move some farmbuildings across the land. Makes you wonder if foundations are really needed in the first place.

9.00 Indiana Jones: The True Story See highlights.

10.00 FILM: Sniper (1993) Starring Tom Berenger, Billy Zane, Aden Young, J T Walsh. An experienced army sergeant and an Olympic marksman become unlikely allies in the hunt for a Panamanian drugs baron.

12.00am PartyPoker.com European Open IV 1.30 Major League Baseball 4.25 Supercross: Dallas 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 House Doctor

Sky Sports 2

6.00 BBC News; Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Street Doctor Dr George meets Sue, who has a worrying tennis ballsized lump; Dr Jonty demonstrates self-examination for testicular cancer and Dr Barbara tries to persuade 64year-old Tony that it’s really time to stop smoking. Dinnertime viewing, kids. Hardly.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Traffic Cops A look at the challenges facing Britain’s road police.

9.00 The Apprentice See highlights.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Buy the West Pier! Or some houses!

10.40 Comedy Sketchbook Angus Deayton delves into the archives to bring together a collection of the finest TV comedy sketches from the past 40 years. 70s comedy a-go-go.

11.30 FILM: Hopscotch (1980) Starring Walter Matthau, Glenda Jackson, Ned Beatty, Sam Waterston. Comedy in which a veteran CIA agent decides to teach his incompetent superiors a lesson by publishing his memoirs.

1.10am Holiday Weather 1.15 Sign Zone: Blackpool Medics 1.45 Casualty 1907 2.45 An Island Parish 3.15 To Buy Or Not To Buy 3.45 Joins BBC News 24

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Sports Adventure 7.00 WWE Heat 8.00 Sports Unlimited 9.00 High Five 9.30 Rugby Union 11.00 Tennis: Davis Cup 2008 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Beach Cricket 3.00 Rugby Union 4.30 Athletics 5.00 Sports Unlimited 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.30 Total Rugby 7.00 Golf 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Tenpin Bowling 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 NFL: Total Access 11.55 U Can Do It 12.00am Beach Cricket 2.00 European Tour Weekly 2.30 You’re On Sky Sports 4.00 High Five

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Golf 8.00 Ginetta Championship 8.30 Athletics 9.00 International Netball 11.00 High Five 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Women’s Pool 1.00 NFL: Total Access 2.00 Sports Adventure 2.30 High Five 3.00 Golf 4.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Beach Cricket 9.00 European Tour Weekly 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Rally Fever 12.00am Golf 1.00 Boots ‘n’ All 2.00 Rally Fever 3.00 Tenpin Bowling 4.00 Golf

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Cold Case 2.00 Angel 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Malcolm In The Middle 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 FILM: You’ve Got Mail (1998) 11.15 Cold Case 12.15am Stargate Atlantis 1.15 Road Wars (x2) 3.05 Angel

7.00pm Young Mums’ Mansion: Friends And Family 7.30 The Real Hustle 7.45 FILM: Cast Away (2000) 10.00 Young Mums’ Mansion 11.00 Bizarre ER 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am The Wall 1.00 Young Mums’ Mansion 1.55 Dawn Goes Lesbian 2.55 Bizarre ER 3.25 The Real Hustle

7.00pm News 7.30 Pop Go The Sixties 7.35 Batman 8.00 A History Of Britain By Simon Schama 9.00 The Saint And The Hanged Man 10.00 Kenneth Williams Fantabulosa! 11.20 Kenneth Williams In His Own Words 11.50 Stephen Fry And The Gutenberg Press 12.50am The Saint And The Hanged Man

1.00pm Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 FILM: Love Actually (2003) 11.35 Coronation Street 12.05am FILM: LA Story (1991) 1.50 Teleshopping

12.30pm The Wonder Years (x2) 1.30 Heartbeat 2.35 Wycliffe 3.45 Ironside 4.45 Jeeves And Wooster 5.50 Heartbeat 7.00 The Wonder Years (x2) 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 The Lakes 10.00 Footprints In The Snow 12.05am The Lakes 1.10 Tales Of The Unexpected (x2) 2.10 The Rockford Files

2.35pm Kevin Hill 3.30 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The Class 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Reaper 10.00 Big Bang Theory 10.30 Skins 11.35 Brothers And Sisters 12.35am Scrubs (x2) 1.30 The Simple Life 2: Road Trip (x2) 2.15 Skins

6.05pm Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 True Stories: Dave Gorman In America Unchained. See highlights. 10.35 Father Ted 11.05 The IT Crowd 11.40 TV Heaven, Telly Hell 12.10am Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip

4.00pm Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 So You Think You Can Dance 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Living With Kimberly Stewart 2.00 Bewitched

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.00pm Last Of The Summer Wine 5.40 Dinnerladies 6.20 My Family 7.00 Porridge 7.40 Only Fools And Horses 8.20 Blackadder Goes Forth 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.00 Only Fools And Horses 11.20 The Royle Family 11.55 Blackadder Goes Forth 12.35am Only Fools And Horses 1.15 Porridge

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 The Office: An American Workplace (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Two And A Half Men 11.40 Scrubs 12.10am South Park

2.00pm Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 The Somme 5.00 How Does That Work?

5.30 How Do They Do It? 6.00 Mythbusters (x2) 8.00 Egypt’s Top Ten Mysteries 9.00 Rome 10.00 Bone Detectives: Scotland Special 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: King Of The Lost World 3.30 Ghost Stories 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 Dark Angel 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 9.00 FILM: Deadly Water (2006) 10.40 FILM: Escape From LA (1996) 12.40am FILM: Project Viper (2002)

12.50pm Evil Of Frankenstein (1964) 2.25 Some Like It Hot (1959) 4.30 Guys And Dolls (1955) 7.05 Shadow Of A Doubt (1943) 9.00 In Cold Blood (1967) 11.15 Cape Fear (1962) 1.05am Some Like It Hot (1959) 3.10 Evil Of Frankenstein (1964) 4.55 Billion Dollar Brain (1967)

3.35pm Flashbacks Of A Fool Special 3.50 A Good Woman (2004) 5.30 Best (1999) 7.20 The Fountain (2006) 9.00 American Mafia: From Street To Screen 10.00 The Passion Of Darkly Noon (1995) 11.45 A Good Woman (2004) 1.25am Cyrano De Bergerac (1990)

1.00pm Whirlpool (1949) 3.00 Laura (1944) 4.50 Three Came Home (1950) 7.00 The Return Of The Musketeers (1989) 9.00 Changing Lanes (2001) 10.50 Happy-Go-Lucky Preview 11.00 Secrets And Lies (1995) Mike Leigh and a family discover honesty.

1.40am The Man From Elysian Fields (2001)

11.00am Mogambo (1953) 1.00pm Lady L (1965) 3.00 Hotel Paradiso (1966) 4.50 The Boyfriend (1971) 7.25 The Honeymoon Machine (1961) 9.00 The Color Purple (1985) 11.45 Zabriskie Point (1969) 1.50am Dark Victory (1939) 3.40 The Fighting 69th (1940) 5.00 Haunted Honeymoon (1940)

Classics

Indie

061_LS368_TV_Thu

4/9/08

2:52 PM

Page 1

thursday 17 House Five, 9pm The antisocial genius doctor formally known as Bertie Wooster finds himself bemused by a brand new patient with no memory of his own but an uncanny knack of mimicking the personalities of those around him. Hostile, appeasing or cheerful, this fella has the crew foxed. Hopefully not for more than an hour, though.

My Name is Earl Channel 4, 10pm Uncharacterisitcally, Joy is feeling a smidgen of guilt over Earl’s current incarceration and goes to visit him. This decision leads to a meeting with their friend Frank; cue a whole load of back memories, useful and not so useful info and actual explanation as to how Catalina and Darnell came to Camden County. Ooh.

Dawn Gets Naked BBC3, 8pm Dawn Porter sets about on another of her quirky social investigations. Questioning how society’s ideal of naked perfection is probably biologically unattainble, Dawn talks to naturists, gets a vaulable lesson in morality from a stripper and tries to organise the biggest female flashmob. But of course.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 To Buy Or Not to Buy 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.00 Open House 11.30 Cash in the Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News and Weather 3.05 Space Pirates 3.35 Smalltalk Diaries 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Stake Out 4.35 Beat the Boss 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.05am Children’s television 9.05 Boogie Beebies 9.15 Me Too! 9.35 Something Special 9.50 Be Safe With the Tweenies 10.00 In the Night Garden 10.30 Primary History 10.50 Megamaths 11.10 Landmarks 11.30 Science Clips 11.40 KS1 Science Clips 11.50 Hands Up! 12.00pm Open Gardens 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Coast 1.05 FILM: Carve Her Name With Pride (1958) 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog it! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape to the Country

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.10 ITV News 11.15 Meridian News and Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Midsomer Murders

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Just Shoot Me 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will and Grace 9.25 Friends 9.55 The OC 10.55 Smallville: Superman the Early Years 11.55 3 Minute Wonder: My Music 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 A Place in the Sun: Home Or Away 1.30 Designers Under Pressure 1.45 FILM: The Maverick Queen (1956) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00-9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House is 12.00pm House Doctor 12.30 Five News 12.45 Law and Order 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.15 FILM: Mystery Woman: At First Sight (2006) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 10.00 Total Rugby 10.30 Boots ‘n’ All 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00pm FA Youth Cup Final 2nd Leg 1.30 European Tour Golf 5.30 The Rugby Club 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 10.15 Barclays Premier League World 10.45 The Rugby Club 12.15am Ford Football Special 1.45 Darts: Premier League 5.15 Barclays Premier League World 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

6.00 BBC News; Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Sean has a nasty surprise for Gus. But Gus is so lovely! No one should be mean to the Gustable.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby Blue John is taken off the Burrows case and decides to pay his father a visit in prison. Lucy makes a big decision. Huge.

9.00 New Tricks When an old friend of Halford’s brings the team a priceless red diamond, they find themselves re-investigating a multi million pound jewellery heist. But in order to get to the heart of the diamond trade, Sandra and Gerry must pose as an unlikely couple.

Hasn’t he had enough wives yet?

10.00 BBC News; Regional News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby chairs the debate in Bristol.

11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil and his resident helpers Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott.

12.20am Holiday Weather 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 The Undercover Diplomat 1.55 Johnny’s New Kingdom 2.25 The Twenties in Colour: The Wonderful World of Albert Kahn 2.55 Bill Oddie’s Wild Side 3.25 To Buy Or Not to Buy

6.00 Eggheads Quiz time.

6.30 Great British Menu The top chefs compete. The chefs from the North prepare their desserts.

7.00 Looking For Dad Filmmaker Charlie Russell and his brother Bertie take an emotional trip down memory lane in search of information on their late father, whom they hadn’t seen for seven years before his death.

8.00 Coast This leg takes Nicholas Crane from the most northwesterly point of the British mainland, Cape Wrath, to Wick near John O’Groats.

9.00 The Graham Norton Show Chat show featuring celebrities, live music and fabulous weirdness from the great British public. Guests include screen legend Tony Curtis and Hollywood A-lister Kevin Bacon.

9.45 Heroes Return 10.00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks Comedy pop quiz with host Simon Amstell and regular team captains Bill Bailey and Phill Jupitus. Guests are ex-Busted singer Matt Willis, Vanessa Feltz, 1980s chart-topper Paul Young and comedian Will Smith.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Ideal Sitcom about a small time dope dealer and his strange collection of acquaintances.

11.50 Arrested Development 12.15am Arrested Development 12.35 Arrested Development 12.55 Joins BBC News 24 4.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision: German

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.25 Party Election Broadcast By The Liberal Democrats 6.30 ITV Evening News’ Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Hilary confesses her fear that Arthur could be Ashley and Laurel’s son after all. Birth slip your mind then, love?

7.30 Country Ways 8.00 The Bill Emma and Sally attend a call out where they find a man, Tim Lock, and his two daughters covered in blood. Not the best start to a shift.

And it gets worse.

9.00 Homes From Hell Includes the monster extension that ruined a family’s life, a couple who narrowly escaped a torrent of water that made their home uninhabitable and the man who watched his London semi crack in two over the years. Blimey.

10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.35 Real Crime A look at the Black Panther, alias Donald Neilson, who was wanted for murders and armed robberies in the mid-1970s and whose reign of terror culminated in the kidnap and murder of teenage heiress Lesley Whittle in 1975.

11.35 The Way We Were 12.05am The Rolling Stones: Shine a Light Movie Special 12.30 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.15 Loose Women 3.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Hannah tries to support Gilly but she is worried that her eating disorder will also return to further complicate matters.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Come Dine With Me Four more amateur cooks attempt to stage the perfect dinner party.

9.00 Sex, Lies and the Murder of Meredith Kircher Doc examining the evidence surrounding the murder of British student Meredith Kercher, who was found dead inside her flat while on a year abroad in Italy.

10.00 My Name is Earl See highlights.

10.30 Big Bang Theory Sheldon and Leonard fall out at a physics conference and Penny’s intervention only makes matters worse.

11.00 Skins The day of Chris’s funeral dawns and the A-level results are also available. Big 24-hours.

12.05am Flashbacks of a Fool: Movie Special 12.35 4 Music: 4Play: Jamie Lidell 12.55 4 Music: 4 Play: Script 1.05 4 Music: No Rest For the Wombats 1.20 Bremner, Bird and Fortune 2.20 King of the Hill (x2) 3.05 FILM: Hallo Panda (2006) 3.40 FILM: The Private Life of Henry VIII (1933) 5.20 Countdown

6.00 Home and Away A Summer Bay favourite leaves town. At least they don’t have to get into a cab, like in Albert Square. Maybe a boat.

6.30 Monkey Life Stump-tailed macaque Koko is introduced to the great outdoors after 20 years in a pet-shop cage. Rain, eh?

7.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 7.30 Rough Guide to Journeys Travel series that visits top destinations around the world.

8.00 I Own Britain’s Best Home The gang visit an ancestral home in Essex with a castle in the garden.

Beats a Wendy house.

9.00 House See highlights.

10.00 Grey’s Anatomy Burke continues to hide the truth about his hand; Izzie wonders what to do with her windfall and Addison has a confession to make. Who to?

11.00 A Girl’s Guide to 21st Century Sex On tonight’s show: why anal sex is no longer considered taboo for couples, a demonstration of one of the best sexual positions for pregnant women and well-endowed men, and the secrets of Tantric sex.

11.45 Quiz Call 4.00am Football Argentina 4.20 Major League Soccer 4.45 Dutch Football 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 House Doctor

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 FA Youth Cup Final 2nd Leg 10.30 Sports Adventure 11.00 Watersports World 12.00pm Rally Fever 1.00 Beach Cricket 3.00 Rally Fever 4.00 Boots ‘n’ All 5.00 High Five 5.30 International Netball 7.30 LIVE Darts: Premier League 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am Beach Cricket 2.00 Poker 4.00 NFL: Total Access 5.00 ATP Tennis Magazine 5.30 Sports Adventure

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Sports Adventure 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Watersports World 9.00 Trans World Sport 10.00 Rally Fever 11.00 High Five 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Women’s Pool 1.00 NFL: Total Access 2.00 Sports Adventure 2.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Tenpin Bowling 5.00 WWE Heat 6.00 Race World 7.00 Beach Cricket 9.00 WWE Late Night Raw 11.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.00am High Five 12.30 Women’s Pool 1.30 Race World 2.30 Sports Adventure 3.00 Women’s Pool

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Cold Case 2.00 Angel 3.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Are You Smarter Than a Ten-Year-Old? 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Malcolm in the Middle 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Project Runway 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case 11.00 Night Cops 12.00am Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Road Wars

7.00pm Young Mums’ Mansion: Friends and Family 7.30 Spendaholics 8.00 Dawn Gets Naked.

See highlights. 9.00 Young Mums’ Mansion 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Sex...

With Mum and Dad 11.25 Family Guy (x2) 12.10am Pulling 12.40 Young Mums’ Mansion 1.40 Dawn Gets Naked 2.35 Pulling

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 In Search of Medieval Britain 8.00 Himalaya With Michael Palin 9.00 Inside the Medieval Mind 10.00 Crusades 10.50 Mad Men 11.35 Chinese School 12.35am In Search of Medieval Britain 1.05 Inside the Medieval Mind 2.05 The Book Quiz 2.35 In Search of Medieval Britain

1.00pm Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 American Idol 2008 9.00 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter 10.00 Gossip Girl 11.00 Supernatural 12.00am Entourage

12.30pm The Wonder Years (x2) 1.30 Heartbeat 2.35 Wycliffe 3.40 Ironside 4.45 The Return of Sherlock Holmes 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 The Wonder Years (x2) 8.00 The Return of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Cane 10.55 Murder in Mind 12.05am FILM: A Stranger Among Us (1992)

2.05pm Style Her Famous 2.35 Kevin Hill 3.30 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 The Class 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Big Brother USA (x2) 11.00 Reaper 11.55 Scrubs (x2) 12.55am The Simple Life 2: Road Trip (x2)

1.10pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 Hill Street Blues 4.00 Time Team 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Property Ladder 10.00 ER 11.00 Without a Trace 12.00am Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

3.00pm Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Army Wives 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Boston Legal 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Boston Legal

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.00pm Last of the Summer Wine 5.40 Dinnerladies 6.20 My Family 7.00 Porridge 7.40 Only Fools and Horses 8.20 Blackadder Goes Forth 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.15 The Royle Family 10.55 Blackadder Goes Forth (x2) 12.15am Only Fools and Horses 12.55 FILM: Scary Movie 2 (2001)

6.00pm Frasier (x2) 7.00 The Office: An American Workplace 7.30 The Office: An American Workplace 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Two and a Half Men 11.40 Scrubs 12.10am South Park 12.40 Comedy Blue 1.10 Last Comic Standing

1.00pm The FBI Files 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Mythbusters 5.00 How Does That Work? 5.30 How do They do It? 6.00 How it’s Made 6.30 How it’s Made 7.00 Mythbusters (x3) 10.00 Smash Lab 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA: Body of Evidence

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: The Phantom (1996) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 Dark Angel 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 3rd Rock From the Sun (x2) 9.00 FILM: Escape From LA (1996) 11.00 FILM: King of The Lost World 12.30am FILM: Vampirella 2.10 Ghost Stories

12.45pm West Side Story (1961) 3.20 The Quiet Man (1952) 5.35 Forty Guns (1957) 7.00 Sands of Iwo Jima (1949) 9.00 The Enemy Below (1957) 10.45 The Killers (1964) 12.30am The Night of the Hunter (1955) 2.15 Forty Guns (1957) 3.45 West Side Story (1961)

11.50am Harsh Times (2005) 1.45pm Indie CloseUp 2.15 The Beat My Heart Skipped (2005) 4.05 The New World (2005) 6.20 Harsh Times (2005) 10.00 Jules Et Jim (1961) 11.50 Mulholland Falls (1996) 1.40am Rec Close-Up 2.10 The Beat My Heart Skipped (2005)

1.00pm The Day Will Dawn (1942) 3.00 I Was a Male War Bride (1949) 5.10 Siege at Red River (1954) 6.55 The Deep End of the Ocean (1999) 9.00 Monster-in-Law (2005) Jane Fonda scares Jennifer Lopez. 11.00 Naked (1993) 1.30am Happy-Go-Lucky Preview 1.40 American Splendor (2003)

1.00pm Lorna Doone 2.00 Mark of the Vampire (1935) 3.00 The Merry Widow (1952) 4.50 The Main Attraction (1962) 6.25 Kelly’s Heroes (1970) 9.00 The Jazz Singer (1980) 11.10 Sweet Bird of Youth (1962) 1.15am The Younger Brothers (1949) 2.45 The Wonderful World of the Brothers Grimm (1962)

Classics

Indie

062_LS368_TVfri.qxd

4/10/08

11:52 AM

Page 1

friday 18 Friday Night with Jonathan Ross BBC1, 10.35pm It’s a bit of a Brighton doubleheader this evening with Patsy ‘Rickeee!’ Palmer chatting about her new run on ‘StEnders while Hove bloke Nick Cave (left) plays the songs that make the middleaged goths cry. Also up is The Office star Mackenzie Crook talking about his new Brit flick.

Pirate of the Caribbean: The True Story Five, 8pm Five hops on the Johnny Depp bandwagon (a few years too late) to tell the true story of Henry Morgan, one of history’s most notorious pirates. Underwater forensic techniques come into play as a team of crack historians try and piece together his role in the Spain vs England war.

Amazing Journey: The Story of The Who BBC4, 9.30pm From amphetamine-fuelled mods to bloated pomp rock Bohemoths, this documentary recounts the story of The Who, culminating in the recording of their first new music for 20 years and a Far Eastern Tour. Fans should stay tuned for a special live performance later on.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 To Buy Or Not To Buy 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Open House 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News And Weather 3.05 Space Pirates 3.35 Smalltalk Diaries 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation (x2) 4.10 The Basil Brush Show 4.35 The Slammer 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News And Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley present the magazine series.

7.30 Inside Out Kaddy Lee-Preston finds out about Guide Dog training.

7.57 BBC News And Regional News National and regional news bulletin from the BBC. 8.00 EastEnders Christian tries to get the bottom of Steven’s angst.

8.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the light-hearted sports quiz with captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell.

9.00 Have I Got News For You With guest host Jack Dee. 9.30 My Family Ben gets caught up in a bank raid.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross See highlights.

11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.40 FILM: It’s All Gone Pete Tong (2004) Ibiza comedy drama with Paul Kaye as an arrogant superstar DJ facing a crisis.

1.10am Springwatch Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Dan Cruickshank’s Adventures In Architecture 2.15 Natural World

7.00 – 9.05am Children’s television 9.05 Boogie Beebies 9.15 Me Too! 9.35 Something Special 9.50 Be Safe With The Tweenies 10.00 In The Night Garden 10.30 Magic Key 10.45 The Way Things Work (x2) 11.15 Tales From Europe 11.30 Watch 11.45 Something Special 12.00pm Open Gardens 12.30 Working Lunch 1.30 FILM: Back To Bataan (1945) 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.10 ITV News 11.15 Meridian News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Midsomer Murders

6.05am Making It 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.25 Friends 9.55 The OC 10.55 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 11.55 3 Minute Wonder: My Music 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.30 FILM: Madame X (1966) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the general knowledge quiz.

6.30 Great British Menu Which of the Northern chefs’ menus will Prue, Matthew and Oliver choose to go through to the finals?

7.00 Wildlife on Two David Attenborough narrates a documentary about crocodiles and alligators, the earth’s supreme survivors.

7.30 Delia Delia cheats.

8.00 Gardeners’ World Monty creates a garden for the senses.

9.00 The Apprentice: Motor Mouths Clip show in which celebrity fans and former contenders remember those motor mouth candidates who only just failed to become The Apprentice.

10.00 QI Alan Davies, Jimmy Carr, Phill Jupitus and Johnny Vegas tackle the subject of eating.

10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review Round table arts and culture discussion programme with Martha Kearney.

11.35 Later...with Jools Holland More music and chat from Portishead, Sharon Jones And The Dap Kings, plus Toumani Diabate.

12.35am FILM: Metropolitan (1990) Highly acclaimed comedy of manners.

2.10 Star Trek: The Next Generation (x2) 3.40 Arrested Development (x3)

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.25 Party Election Broadcast

By The Conservative Party 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Paddy worries about his court appearance.

7.30 Coronation Street David’s day in court arrives, but how will he fare in the dock?

8.00 Rip-Off Britain: Tonight Why are Britons paying over the odds for everything from medicines and cosmetics to electrical products – and how can UK consumers get the same prices as shoppers abroad?

8.30 Coronation Street Gail’s 50th birthday party arrives, but will it feel the same without David?

9.00 Benidorm Everyone, apart from The Oracle and Telle (who strike up an unlikely friendship) heads off on a free trip to a bullfight.

9.30 Teenage Kicks Vernon goes to a rave but ends up in hospital.

10.00 FILM: Lethal Weapon (1987) All-action crime thriller starring Mel Gibson.

11.00 The Late News; Weather 11.40 FILM: Lethal Weapon (1987) The action continues.

12.35am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Emergency 1.30 Nightwatch 2.25 FILM: At The Earth’s Core (1976) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen

6.00 The Simpsons Homer and Marge discover the secret to reigniting their love life.

6.30 Hollyoaks Rhys and Beth prepare to leave Hollyoaks.

7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.35 Unreported World The team reports from Kenya on the country’s population problem and its role in the recent violence there.

8.00 A Place in the Sun: Home Or Away Jonnie takes a look at some satisfied customers who found their dream homes in Britain.

9.00 Dirty Sexy Money Nick finds he has a lot in common with Tripp’s nemesis, Simon.

10.00 Friday Night Project Justin Lee Collins and Alan Carr welcome guest presenter Geri Halliwell.

11.05 Balls Of Steel Neg breaks the smoking ban in a nightclub.

11.55 Big Bang Theory Sheldon and Leonard fall out at a physics conference.

12.25am 4 Music: 4Music Presents... The Kooks 12.55 4 Music: The JD Set Presents: Cherry Ghost 1.10 4 Music: Rockfeedback 1.40 Afterworld 2.05 Abductees 2.20 Goalissimo!

3.15 Trans World Sport 4.10 Grudge Match 4.25 St Elsewhere

6.35am Funky Valley 6.45 Fireman Sam 7.00 Mio Mao 7.05 Roary The Racing Car 7.20 Rupert Bear 7.30 Mr. Men 7.50 Noddy 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Bird Bath 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm House Doctor 12.30 News 12.45 Law and Order 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home & Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 News 3.10 FILM: Remembrance (1996) 5.00 News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home and Away Miles is offered a fresh start.

6.30 Monkey Life New recruit Koko, a stump-tailed macaque, meets her first companion in years: old boy Gerald.

7.00 Five News National and international news.

7.30 Animal Rescue Squad Wildlife series with Michaela Strachan and Matt Baker.

8.00 Pirate of the Caribbean: The True Story See highlights.

9.00 NCIS McGee finds himself under pressure while investigating a double murder apparently inspired by his latest novel.

10.00 Shark When Stark’s key witness in a double homicide trial is murdered in a bomb attack, Jessica comes out of temporary retirement to help bring in a Russian mobster connected to the explosion.

11.00 Law and Order: Special Victims Unit A Tibetan woman, who was a victim of torture in her own country, is found murdered with a foot missing.

12.00am Quiz Call Interactive quiz show giving viewers the chance to answer questions for money.

5.10 Neighbours 5.35 House Doctor

6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 10.00 Sports Adventure 10.30 Trans World Sport 11.30 Barclays Premier League World 12.00pm Ford Football Special 1.00 Barclays Premier League World 1.30 European Tour Golf 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE Carnegie Premier League 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am Barclays Premier League Preview 12.30 Carnegie Premier League 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Big League Weekend 5.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 5.30 Gillette World Sport

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Darts: Premier League 12.30pm Beach Cricket 2.30 Darts: Premier League 6.00 Sports Adventure 6.30 High Five 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 Golf Night 9.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 10.00 Big League Weekend 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am Beach Cricket 2.00 Big League Weekend 3.00 High Five 3.30 Carnegie Premier League 5.00 Sports Adventure 5.30 High Five

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Barclays Premier League World 11.00 High Five 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Women’s Pool 1.00 NFL: Total Access 2.00 Sports Adventure 2.30 High Five 3.00 International Netball 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Beach Cricket 9.00 Women’s Pool 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Golf Night 3.00 Gillette World Sport 3.30 Sports Adventure 4.00 Beach Cricket

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

3.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Malcolm In The Middle 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-YearOld? 9.00 Ross Kemp In Afghanistan 10.00 FILM: Primal Doubt (2007) 11.35 Battlestar Galactica 1.25am Stargate Atlantis

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 The Most Annoying Pop Songs... We Hate To Love 9.00 Doctor Who 9.50 Doctor Who Confidential 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Young Mums’ Mansion: Changed My Life 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.20am Gavin And Stacey 12.45 The Most Annoying Pop Songs... We Hate To Love

7.00pm World News Today. Global news. 7.30 Chopin Etudes 7.35 The Creation By Haydn At The Barbican 9.30 Amazing Journey: The Story Of The Who. See highlights. 11.30 The Avengers 12.20am The Who At The Electric Proms 1.10 Pop Britannia. Top pop doc. 2.10 The Creation By Haydn At The Barbican

5.20pm The Montel Williams Show 6.10 Movies Now 6.20 Judge Judy 6.45 Smallville 7.45 Britain’s Got Talent 9.00 American Idol 2008 10.00 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter 11.00 Keith Lemon’s World Tour 11.30 Coronation Street (x2) 12.30 FILM: Empire (2002) 2.20 Teleshopping

2.30pm Wycliffe 3.35 Ironside 4.40 Agatha Christie’s Partners In Crime 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 The Wonder Years (x2) 7.50 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: The Orchard Walls 9.00 Murder In Mind 10.00 Doc Martin 11.10 FILM: A Stranger Among Us (1992) 1.20am Tales Of The Unexpected

2.35pm Kevin Hill 3.30 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 5.55 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny US 10.00 Celebrity Wife Swap (x2) 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.10 The Simple Life 2: Road Trip (x2)

7.00pm Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Secrets Of The Stately Garden: A Time Team Special 10.00 Jamestown: America’s Birthplace: A Time Team Special 11.05 Sex In The 80s: The Story Of Club 1830 12.10am Flashbacks Of A Fool: Movie Special

3.00pm Lois And Clark: The New Adventures Of Superman 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Moonlight 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Moonlight 2.00 Bewitched

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.20pm The Two Ronnies 3.00 Open All Hours 3.40 My Family 4.20 Keeping Up Appearances 5.00 Last Of The Summer Wine 5.40 Open All Hours 6.20 My Family 7.00 New Tricks 8.00 Dancing With The Stars (x2) 10.30 FILM: Scary Movie 2 (2001) 12.00am The Vicar Of Dibley Top 40

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 The US Office (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Two And A Half Men 11.40 Scrubs 12.10am Lee Evans: Wired And Wonderful

3.00pm Deadliest Catch 4.00 American Chopper 5.00 How Does That Work?

5.30 How Do They Do It? 6.00 Mythbusters (x2) 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 Crime Scene Australia 10.00 Life Or Death 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA: Body Of Evidence 12.30 Crime Scene USA

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Thank Heaven (2001) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 Dark Angel 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 9.00 Flash Gordon 10.00 FILM: Weird Science (1985) 11.50 FILM: Slayer (2006) 1.30am The Lost World 2.30 Ghost Stories

12.25pm The Naked City (1948) 2.15 Topaz (1969) 4.40 Modern Greats And Classics Close-Up 5.10 Sahara (1943) 7.00 The Spy Who Came In From The Cold (1965) 9.00 Cool Hand Luke (1967) 11.10 Torn Curtain (1966) 1.20am The Naked City (1948) 3.05 Gypsy (1962)

11.45am Little Man Tate (1991) US drama. 1.30pm Fire (1996) 3.25 Earth (1998) 5.30 Marie Antoinette (2006) 7.35 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 10.00 Z Channel: A Magnificent Obsession (2004) 12.05am Fire (1996) 2.00 Earth (1998) 4.00 Sky Movies Preview (x2)

1.00pm The Wicked Lady (1945) 3.10 The Awful Truth (1937) 5.00 Ticket To Tomahawk (1950) 6.55 Made In America (1993) 9.00 Heartbreak Ridge (1986) 11.30 Happy-GoLucky Preview. Previewing Mike Leigh’s new movie.

11.40 Career Girls (1997) 1.20am The Rules Of Attraction (2002)

1.00pm Light In The Piazza (1962) 3.00 On The Town (1949) Musical. 4.50 The Ice Pirates (1984) 6.30 Mrs Soffel (1984) 8.30 The Screening Room 9.00 Dead Calm (1989) 10.45 Slither (1973) Creepy horror.

12.30am Pennies From Heaven (1981) 2.25 Cimarron (1960) 5.00 Honky Tonk (1941)

Classics

Indie

063_LS368_TV_sat

4/11/08

10:54 AM

Page 1

saturday 19 Love Soup BBC1, 9.45pm It’s a bit of a slow-burner, but Tasmin Greig (left) makes this surprisingly downbeat comedy drama a real grower. So far Alice seems to be comfortably bedding down with out-of-work writer Douglas McVitie. Sleeping with him is one thing – but is she emotionally ready to share an answer machine message?

ER Channel 4, 8.05pm Chicago’s busiest emergency room is bursting at the seams tonight, with a young boy suffering from a serious heart condition causing particular problems. Elsewhere Pratt falls out with a doctor over new interns, and Abby neglects to tell Luka the whole truth, but heads off to Croatia anyway.

Futurama Sky One, 5.30pm With The Simpsons now locked into a laughter-free tailspin, Matt Groening’s other (some say better) animated series starts looking a better bet. Chaos rules in this episode as Fry does a deal with the robot devil in order to become a famous musician and win Leela’s heart – but the price of fame is higher than he thinks.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Great British Menu 12.00pm BBC News; Weather 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 Snooker 4.30 Final Score 5.20 BBC News 5.40 The Kids Are All Right

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 Tikkabilla 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Witch 7.35 Trollz 8.00 The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 8.30 Thumb Wrestling Federation 8.35 Even Stevens 9.00 Escape from Scorpion Island (x2) 9.59 The Owl 10.00 Hedz 10.30 The Slammer 11.00 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 11.20 Animalia 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm Falcon Beach 12.45 The Surgery 1.05 Sound 1.35 FILM: The Magnificent Showman (1964) 3.50 Monk 4.30 World Championship Snooker 5.15 Rugby League: Challenge Cup 7.30 World Championship Snooker Hazel Irvine introduces continued coverage from The Crucible.

8.35 Dad’s Army Mainwaring’s platoon runs into an abandoned steam engine on the route of a planned exercise.

9.05 Have I Got a Bit More News For You Repeat of the news quiz.

9.45 Comedy Map of Britain Alan Carr goes back to the football ground in Northampton that inspired his stand up.

10.45 The Apprentice Four weeks into his search for an apprentice, Sir Alan challenges the teams to set up their own photography business at a busy shopping centre on the outskirts of London.

11.45 Welcome To Collinwood (2002) Crime caper comedy in which a jailed petty thief is given a plan for the perfect heist from a lifer in prison, and recruits his girlfriend to help pull off the job.

1.05am World Snooker Highlights Hazel Irvine introduces snooker highlights as both Stephen Lee and Peter Ebdon look to book their places in round two.

1.55 World Championship Snooker Extra 3.35 Mad Men 4.25 Monk

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Supernormal 9.40 Supernormal 9.55 My Parents are Aliens 10.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 12.40pm The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 1.10 ITV News and Weather 1.20 Meridian News and Weather 1.25 FILM: Charade (1963) 3.30 FILM: Back To The Future (1985) 4.25 Meridian News and Weather 4.40 ITV News and Weather 5.05 FILM: Back To The Future (1985)

6.05am Making It 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 8.50 Beauty and the Geek 9.50 The Nokia Green Room 10.20 Shipwrecked 2008: Battle of The Islands 11.55 Shipwrecked 2008 Special 12.30pm Shipwrecked 2008: The Hutcam Diaries 1.00 Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Jamie at Home 5.35 Location, Location, Location

6.00am Sunrise 7.00 Hi-5 7.40 The Beeps 7.55 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 8.10 Harry And His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 8.25 Little Princess 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 9.00 The Funky Valley Show 9.15 Gerald McBoing Boing 9.45 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10.00 Football Italiano Highlights 10.30 Extraordinary Animals 11.00 Neighbours 1.10pm FILM: See Spot Run (2001) 3.00 FILM: The Wrong Box (1966) 5.00 FILM: Guns Of The Magnificent Seven (1969)

6.05 Animals do the Funniest Things Stephen Mulhern takes the Inca trail to meet the animals of Peru.

7.05 All Star Mr and Mrs Tonight, Corrie legend William Roache and his wife Sara, Welsh boxing hero Joe Calzaghe and his girlfriend JoEmma Larvin, and MP Lembit Opik and his Cheeky Girl partner Gabriela Irimia open up their relationships to the scrutiny of Phil and Fern.

8.05 Britain’s Got Talent Judges Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Amanda Holden continue to audition some of the best – and worst – talent in the country, in front of a live audience.

9.05 Pushing Daisies A mysterious death at the Schatz Funeral Home sends Ned back to his hometown.

10.05 FILM: American Pie II (2001) Action-packed teen comedy sequel in which a group of friends are reunited after their freshman year of college and embark upon a series of adventures when they rent a summer house on Lake Michigan.

11.05 ITV News and Weather 11.20 FILM: American Pie II (2001) The comedy continues.

12.15am FILM: Coming To America (1988) Comedy about an African prince who travels to America in a quest for a wife.

2.15 FILM: Golden Seal (1983) 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.35 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.00 Grand Designs Abroad Kevin McCloud meets two artists whose plan is to convert a derelict olive farm in Puglia, Italy, into a home and summer school for artists.

8.05 ER See highlights.

9.05 FILM: The Shawshank Redemption (1994) Epic prison drama about the relationship between two inmates of Shawshank State Prison over two decades.

11.45 Friday Night Project Justin Lee Collins and Alan Carr welcome guest presenter Geri Halliwell.

12.50am FILM: Boiler Room (2000) Energetic thriller in which an ambitious young man drops out of college and finds work in a ‘boiler room’, a hothouse of fast-talking, fast-living stocks salesmen.

3.00 Supporting Acts 3.20 Salvage Squad 4.20 St Elsewhere 5.10 In Your Dreams 5.25 Countdown

7.00 FILM: The Cable Guy (1996) Dark comic satire about a man whose life is taken over by a psychotic cable TV installer who is determined to become his best friend. A rare box office flop for Jim Carrey.

8.35 Five News and Sport The latest national and international headlines.

8.50 NCIS Part Two: Ari kidnaps Ducky and plays with his mind. Gibbs is determined to finish with Ari once and for all.

9.45 CSI: NY Mac and the team realise that an old enemy has resurfaced in the form of Suspect X, a trained assassin.

10.45 Law and Order Briscoe and Green investigate a shooting at city hall which leaves a councilman dead and a water inspector injured.

11.45 True CSI This edition probes the shocking murder of the wife and children of a former state trooper.

12.10am Quiz Call Interactive quiz show giving viewers the chance to answer questions for money.

5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.00 Big League Weekend 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.15 LIVE Championship Football 7.30 You’re on Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game of the Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x4) 4.15am You’re on Sky Sports 5.10 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.40 U Can do It 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

6.20 Doctor Who The Doctor takes Donna to her first alien world – but the Ood-Sphere reveals some terrible truths about the human race.

7.05 I’d Do Anything The nine remaining Nancys battle it out for the public vote.

8.05 The National Lottery: 1 Vs 100 Ben Shephard hosts a quiz show in which one hopeful contestant takes on 100 opponents in a bid to win a big cash prize.

8.55 Casualty Sean continues playing games with Jessica and Zoe, even more so when they are forced to work together to solve a mystery involving a young patient.

9.45 Love Soup See highlights.

10.15 BBC News The latest news.

10.30 Match of the Day All the goals and highlights from the Barclays Premier League.

11.50 FILM: Air America (1990) Lighthearted action tale starring Mel Gibson about a pair of maverick US pilots who smuggle anything and everything for a covert CIA operation during the Vietnam War. 1.35am Friday Night with Jonathan Ross With EastEnders icon Patsy Palmer, and The Office star Mackenzie Crook.

2.35 Weatherview 2.40 Joins BBC News 24

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Carnegie Premier League 8.30 LIVE Rugby Union: Super 14 (x2) 12.30pm Friday Fight Night 2.30 LIVE Rugby Union 5.00 LIVE IndyCar Motor Racing 7.00 High Five 7.30 Golf Night 9.30 High Five 10.00 IndyCar Motor Racing 12.00am NFL – Total Access 1.00 Beach Cricket 3.00 Golf Night 5.00 High Five 5.30 Wild Spirits

Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 10.00 WWE: Smackdown 12.00pm Gillette World Sport 12.30 High Five 1.00 European Tour Golf 5.00 WWE: Smackdown 7.00 Beach Cricket 9.00 Rugby Union 11.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.00am WWE: Smackdown 2.00 Rugby Union: Super 14 4.00 Rugby Union: Super 14

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Brainiac: Science Abuse 1.00 Are You Smarter than a Ten-YearOld? (x3) 4.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x3) 5.30 Futurama (x4) See highlights. 7.30 The Simpsons (x3) 9.00 Road Wars (x2) 11.00 Law and Order 12.00am Night Cops 1.00 FILM: Maneater (2007) 2.30 Road Wars (x2)

7.05pm Doctor Who Confidential 7.50 Top Gear 8.55 FILM: Cast Away (2000) 11.10 Gavin and Stacey 11.40 Family Guy (x2) 12.20am Young Mums’ Mansion: Changed My Life 1.20 Gavin and Stacey 1.50 The Wall 2.35 Doctor Who Confidential 3.20 Young Mums’ Mansion: Changed My Life 4.20 Gaffes Galore

7.00pm Terry Jones’ Medieval Lives 7.30 In Search of Medieval Britain 8.05 The Book Quiz 8.35 Mrs Brown 10.15 The Best of Youth 11.50 Kenneth Williams – Fantabulosa!

1.10am The Saint and the Hanged Man 2.10 In Search of Medieval Britain 2.40 The Book Quiz 3.10 Kenneth Williams – Fantabulosa!

1.50pm Holiday Showdown 2.50 Britain’s Got Talent 4.05 Britain’s Got More Talent 5.05 Pushing Daisies 6.05 Gossip Girl 7.05 FILM: The Grinch (2000) 9.05 Thank God You’re Here 10.05 Britain’s Got More Talent 11.05 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter 12.05am Britain’s Got Talent 1.05 Britain’s Got More Talent

1.10pm Agatha Christie’s Partners in Crime 2.15 FILM: SOS Titanic (1979) 4.20 Kavanagh QC 6.05 Inspector Morse 8.05 Rosemary and Thyme 9.05 Ruth Rendell’s Inspector Wexford: Achilles’ Heel 11.20 FILM: The War Of The Roses (1989) 1.35am Sidney Sheldon’s Windmills of the Gods (x2)

12.40pm Average Joe: The Joes Strike Back 1.35 Miss Match 2.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Joan of Arcadia 7.00 Lost 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 50 Greatest Comedy Films 10.40 FILM: Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003) 12.40am FILM: Kalifornia (1993) 3.05 Lost 3.55 Joan of Arcadia 4.40 Switched (x3)

9.00am Time Team (x4) 1.10pm FILM: North To Alaska (1960) 3.25 Relocation, Relocation (x5) 9.00 Poppy Shakespeare.

Drama. 10.45 Bremner, Bird and Fortune. Satire. 11.50 The West Wing. US wishfulfilment drama. 2.50am Deal Or No Deal. Guessing game. 1.35 Relocation, Relocation (x2)

4.00pm FILM: Look Who’s Talking Now (1993) 6.00 Will and Grace (x2) 7.00 America’s Next Top Model 8.00 Ghost Whisperer 9.00 New Most Haunted 10.00 Hotel Babylon 11.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.05am The X Files 1.00 Exposed: Angelina Jolie 2.00 Maury 2.55 The Fix 3.00 Wonder Woman

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

7.50am As Time Goes By 8.30 Dancing with the Stars (x2) 11.00 The Vicar of Dibley (x14) 9.00pm The Vicar of Dibley Top 40 11.00 The Royle Family 11.40 The Vicar of Dibley 12.20am Men Behaving Badly (x2) 1.40 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2.10 Taggart 3.55 Close Up 4.05 Dallas

3.00pm Frasier (x2) 4.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 5.00 Frasier (x2) 6.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 9.00 Scrubs 9.30 Two And A Half Men 10.00 Sex and the City (x7) 1.25am Two and a Half Men 1.55 South Park (x2) 2.55 Sex and the City 3.30 Linc’s

6.00am How do They do It? (x4) 8.00 How It’s Made (x4) 10.00 Mythbusters (x2) 12.00pm Deadliest Catch (x3) 3.00 American Chopper (x2) 5.00 Mega Builders (x2) 7.00 Egypt’s New Tomb Revealed 8.00 Bone Detectives: Scotland Special 9.00 Rome 10.00 Most Evil 11.00 Forensic Detectives 12.00am Crime Scene USA

11.00am Star Trek 12.00pm Flash Gordon 1.00 FILM: Hercules And The Amazon Women (1994) 3.10 FILM: Timestalkers (1987) 5.00 FILM: Small Soldiers (1997) 7.10 FILM: Weird Science (1985) 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Highlander (1986) 12.10am FILM: Coneheads (1993) 1.50 FILM: Hemoglobin (1997)

12.00pm A Touch Of Larceny (1959) 1.40 Hail The Conquering Hero (1944) 3.40 The Great Moment (1944) 5.15 A Foreign Affair (1948) 7.20 A Touch Of Larceny (1959) 9.00 Flaming Star (1960) 10.35 Love Me Tender (1956) 12.10am Hail The Conquering Hero (1944)

11.25am Friends With Money (2006) 1.00pm Mad Hot Ballroom (2005) 2.50 Marie Antoinette (2006) 4.55 The Ground Truth (2006) 6.15 Indie Close-Up 6.45 Little Man Tate (1991) 8.25 Friends With Money (2006) 10.00 Boys Don’t Cry (1999) 12.00am Dad Savage (1998) 2.00 Best (1999)

1.00pm Witness For The Prosecution (1957) 3.15 The Last Wagon (1956) 5.10 The Man With One Red Shoe (1985) 7.00 The Return Of The Musketeers (1989) 9.00 Million Dollar Baby (2004) Emotional boxing drama. 11.30 Taxidermia (2003) 1.15am The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005)

7.20am Colorado Territory (1949) 9.00 Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942) 11.15 On The Town (1949) 1.00pm Madame Bovary (1949) 3.00 In This Our Life (1942) 4.55 The Champ (1979) 7.15 Jailhouse Rock (1957) 9.00 Get Carter (1971) 11.00 The Screening Room 11.30 A Clockwork Orange (1971) 1.50am Cannery Row (1982)

Classics

Indie

064_LS368_TV_sun

4/11/08

10:56 AM

Page 1

sunday 20 The British Academy Television Awards 2008 BBC1, 8pm It’s gong time again in TV land as the great and good get together for another backslapping sesh.

Graham Norton (left) is the host with the most looking to dish out awards to contenders including shows from Strictly Come Dancing to Skins via Heroes and Californication.

Beat the Star ITV1, 6.45pm Vernon Kaye (left) is your host for the show in which a plucky member of the public goes headto-head with a ‘sleb’ in a bid to scoop a £50,000 cash prize. This time around a policeman from Plymouth takes on Boxing Champion Amir Khan in a series of mental and physical challenges.

Stephen Fry and the Gutenberg Press BBC4, 8pm The donnish presenter (left) examines the story behind the world’s first ever media entrepreneur, Johann Gutenberg and finds out how his printing press started a cultural revolution in Europe. Stephen then goes on to build his own version – is there nothing that this man can’t do?

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match of the Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Life from the Loft 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 ‘Allo ‘Allo!

1.25 Diagnosis Murder 2.10 EastEnders 4.05 Tiger Spy in the Jungle 5.05 Lifeline 5.15 Points Of View 5.30 Songs of Praise

6.00am Fimbles 6.20 Tikkabilla 6.50 Step Inside 7.00 Legend of the Dragon 7.20 Watch My Chops 7.25 The Batman 7.55 Bernard 8.00 Trapped 8.30 Raven – The Secret Temple 9.00 Hider in the House 10.00 Something for the Weekend 11.30 Animal Park 12.30pm Fred Dibnah’s World of Steam, Steel and Stone 1.00 World Championship Snooker 4.45 Premiership Rugby Union 5.15 Rugby League: Challenge Cup

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Jim Jam and Sunny (x2) 9.55 Meg and Mog 10.05 Jim Jam and Sunny 10.15 Meg and Mog 10.25 Championship Goals 11.25 ITV News and Weather 11.30 Meridian News and Weather 11.35 Britain’s Got Talent 12.35pm FILM: K-9 PI (2002) 2.25 FILM: Wild Wild West (1999) 4.15 Pushing Daisies 5.15 Along These Lines 5.45 Meridian News and Weather

7.30 World Championship Snooker Hazel Irvine introduces continued coverage of play at The Crucible in Sheffield.

8.00 FILM: The Aviator (2004) Star-studded Oscar-winning biopic charting the life of eccentric film director Howard Hughes over a 20-year period.

10.40 The Graham Norton Show Uncut repeat of the chat show featuring celebrities, live music and fabulous weirdness from the great British public. Guests include screen legend Tony Curtis and Hollywood Z-lister Kevin Bacon.

11.25 Last Man Standing A group of athletic adventurers from the UK and the USA compete for glory against tribal champions in some of the remotest corners of the globe.

12.20am World Snooker Highlights Hazel Irvine introduces highlights from tonight’s matches as Stephen Lee and Peter Ebdon look to stake their claim on round two.

1.10 World Championship Snooker 3.00 FILM: Desperate (1947) 4.10 Inside Sport

6.20am Aussie Antics 6.25 Angels of Jarm 6.30 Elmo’s World 6.50 Hi-5 7.30 The Beeps 7.45 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 8.00 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 8.15 Little Princess 8.30 Hana’s Helpline 8.45 The Funky Valley Show 9.00 Gerald McBoing Boing 9.30 Sheepdog Tales 9.45 Demolition Dad 10.00 The Gadget Show 11.00 My Music 12.00pm FILM: Coroner Creek (1948) 1.45 Football Italiano 4.10 Extraordinary Animals 4.40 Indiana Jones: The True Story 5.40 Five News and Sport 6.00 FILM: The Goonies (1985) Old-fashioned yarn about a band of adventurous kids who take on the might of a property-developing company which plans to destroy their home to build a country club. From a story by Steven Spielberg.

8.00 Extraordinary People: Half Man Half Tree This film profiles Dede, an Indonesian man suffering from a skin condition that has left him with tree-like growths on his hands and feet.

9.00 FILM: Swordfish (2001) Stylish and fast-paced action thriller about a computer hacker who is persuaded by a suave master spy to help steal billions of dollars from an illegal government fund.

10.55 FILM: Posse (1993) Western about a gang of mostly African-American gunfighters who return to America as outlaws but with a cache of gold, obtained during the Spanish-American war.

1.00am Major League Baseball 4.20 Seniors Golf 5.10 Wildlife SOS (x2)

6.00am U Can Do It 6.05 You’re on Sky Sports 7.00 Football First: Match Choice (x2)10.00 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals on Sunday 1.00pm Ford Super Sunday 3.30 Ford Super Sunday 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Ford Football Special 3.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 4.00 Spanish Football

6.05 BBC News; Regional News; Weather National and international news, then regional news and weather.

6.30 Seaside Rescue Documentary series following the work of maritime rescue services.

7.00 My Family Ben’s attempt to pay money into his bank coincides with a robbery.

7.30 I’d Do Anything Results The potential Olivers make their play for the spotlight with another heartwarming performance.

8.00 The British Academy Television Awards See highlights.

10.00 BBC News; Weather The latest news and weather.

10.20 Match of the Day 2 Adrian Chiles presents highlights of the day’s Premier League games.

11.20 FILM: High Heels and Low Lifes (2001) Poorly-received comedy starring Minnie Driver. Two young women become embroiled in a dangerous battle of wits with hardened criminals when they attempt to blackmail them rather than reporting the crime to the police.

12.40am Weatherview 12.45 Sign Zone: Around the World in 80 Gardens 1.45 Holby City 2.45 The Age of Terror 3.45 Watchdog 4.15 Joins BBC News 24

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Trans World Sport 7.55 Freesports on 4: Red Bull Last Man Standing 8.20 The Shooting Party 8.50 Shipwrecked 2008: The Hutcam Diaries 9.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 11.55 Shipwrecked 2008: Battle of the Islands 1.00pm Shipwrecked 2008 Special 1.35 The Nokia Green Room 2.05 Friends 2.40 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 3.40 The Simpsons (x2) 4.45 Alive 5.45 Jamestown: America’s Birthplace: A Time Team Special 6.45 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.00 Bremner, Bird and Fortune Topical satirical comedy from impressionist Rory Bremner and regular collaborators John Bird and John Fortune.

8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls Former Special Forces adventurer Bear Grylls demonstrates how to survive in the world’s most extreme environments.

9.00 FILM: The Wedding Date (2005) Romantic comedy. Desperate to avoid embarrassment at her sister’s wedding, a single girl hires an escort to pose as her boyfriend in an attempt to dupe the ex-fiance who dumped her.

10.40 FILM: She’s All That (1999) Comic romance set in a trendy LA high school. Beautiful, desirable, social-climber Taylor has dumped class president Zack for another boy.

But when Zack decides to get his own back, the fun really starts.

12.30am Flashbacks Of A Fool: Movie Special A preview of the new British drama in which Daniel Craig takes the starring role as well as being executive producer.

1.00 4 Music: The Feeling: Live in London 1.45 FILM: What Dreams May Come (1998) 3.35 Titanic’s Ghosts 4.35 St Elsewhere

6.00 ITV News and Weather A round-up of the latest news headlines and a national weather forecast.

6.15 All New You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill presents the more of the nation’s funniest home videos.

6.45 Beat the Star See highlights.

8.00 Foyle’s War While Foyle anticipates his retirement and Milner prepares for fatherhood, Sam is left questioning where her life will lead.

10.00 Headcases Topical satirical CGI comedy show which takes a biting look at the great and the good – from celebrities to politicians and members of the Royal Family, featuring the vocal talents of Rory Bremner, Omid Djalili, Tom Hollander, Lucy Porter and Jon Culshaw among others.

10.30 ITV News and Weather The latest news headlines and a national weather forecast.

10.45 Melvyn Bragg’s Travels in Written Britain Melvyn Bragg’s tour around literary Britain takes him to the Midlands.

11.45 Superhuman – Giants A special programme revealing what life is like for the tallest people in the world, following giants in Britain, America, China and Ukraine.

12.45am Cathedral 1.40 Dial a Mum 2.15 Under One Roof (x2) 3.05 People’s Court

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 10.00 Gillette World Sport 10.30 High Five 11.00 Wild Spirits 11.30 LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 7.30pm Golf Night 9.30 Gillette World Sport 10.00 Max Power 11.00 Race World 12.00am Beach Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Max Power 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 Spanish Football 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Heat 11.00 IndyCar Motor Racing 1.00pm European Tour Golf 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 Gillette World Sport 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 Rally Fever 8.00 Beach Cricket 10.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.00 WWE Heat 12.00am Golf Night

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

1.00pm Crash Test Dummies 2.00 The Dog Whisperer 3.00 Project Runway 4.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x2)5.00 The Simpsons (x2)6.00 Are You Smarter than a Ten-YearOld? 7.00 The Simpsons (42)9.00 FILM: Last Action Hero (1993) 11.30 Ross Kemp in Afghanistan 12.30am Road Wars

7.00pm Sound 7.30 The Real Hustle 8.00 Doctor Who 8.45 Doctor Who Confidential 9.00 Gavin and Stacey 9.30 Pulling 10.00 Amy: My Body for Bucks 11.00 Family Guy (x2)11.45 Gavin and Stacey 12.15am Pulling 12.45 Amy: My Body for Bucks 1.45 The Real Hustle 2.15 Spendaholics

7.00pm Inside the Medieval Mind 8.00 Stephen Fry and the Gutenberg Press. See highlights. 9.00 Dear Television 9.10 Washes Whiter 10.00 Mad Men 10.50 Amazing Journey: The Story of The Who 12.50am The Who at the Electric Proms. Live music from the Modfathers.

1.35pm FILM: The Grinch (2000) 3.35 Coronation Street Omnibus 6.00 American Idol 2008 (x2)8.00 Britain’s Got Talent 9.00 Britain’s Got More Talent 10.00 Bionic Woman 11.00 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter 12.00am FILM: Wimbledon (2004) 1.55 Keith Lemon’s World Tour 2.15 Laura, Ben and Him

12.40pm PD James: Unnatural Causes 2.50 Inspector Morse 4.55 Hornblower 7.00 Dempsey and Makepeace 8.00 The Best of the Royal Variety 9.00 Simply Red – Live at The Royal Albert Hall 10.00 FILM: The War Of The Roses (1989) 12.15am Tales of the Unexpected (x2)1.25 Bramwell

12.35pm Big Brother USA (32)3.20 Shipwrecked 2008: Battle of the Islands 4.25 Shipwrecked 2008 Special 5.00 Friends (x2)6.00 The War at Home 6.30 Big Bang Theory 7.00 Scrubs 7.30 My Name is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2)9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2)11.00 Brothers and Sisters 12.00am Dirty Sexy Money

4.35pm Come Dine with Me (x5) 7.25 Jamie at Home 7.55 The View from River Cottage 8.30 The View from River Cottage 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 10.00 The Smallest People in the World 11.05 Father Ted 11.40 The IT Crowd 12.10am Curb Your Enthusiasm 12.45 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA

1.55pm Maury (x2)3.45 The Fix 3.50 Maury (x2)5.30 The Jerry Springer Show 6.00 Army Wives 7.00 So You Think You Can Dance (x2) 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The X Files 1.00 Criminal Minds 2.00 Maury 2.55 The Fix 3.00 Wonder Woman 3.50 Veronica Mars

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

7.30am As Time Goes By 8.10 2point4 Children 8.50 The Vicar of Dibley (x10) 5.00 Dancing with the Stars (x2) 7.30 The Vicar of Dibley Story 9.00 The Vicar of Dibley (x2)11.25 The Royle Family 12.05am Men Behaving Badly (x2)1.25 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 2.05 The Vicar of Dibley Story

9.00am Two and a Half Men (x24) 9.00 Scrubs 9.30 Two and a Half Men 10.00 Sex and the City (x6) 1.30 Two and a Half Men 2.00 Scrubs (x2)3.00 Sex and the City 3.30 Linc’s 4.00 Scrubs (x2) US comedy series. 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life in Film (x2) 5.10 Two and a Half Men (x2)

12.00pm Storm Chasers (x3) 3.00 Killer Rain: Shocking Earth 4.00 Seven Days That Shook The Weathermen 5.00 American Chopper 6.00 Mythbusters (x2) 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 Storm Chasers 10.00 Most Evil 11.00 Forensic Detectives 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)

12.00pm Ghost Stories 12.40 FILM: Small Soldiers (1997) 2.50 FILM: King Of The Lost World (2006) 4.20 FILM: Coneheads (1993) 6.00 Flash Gordon 7.00 FILM: The Phantom (1996) 9.00 FILM: Flash Gordon (1980) 11.10 Flash Gordon 12.10am FILM: Deadly Water (2006) 1.50 The Lost World 3.00 ReGenesis

12.30pm Look Back In Anger (1958) 2.20 Robinson Crusoe On Mars (1964) 4.20 Rio Grande (1950) 6.20 The Guns Of Navarone (1961) 9.00 The Grissom Gang (1971) 11.10 Robinson Crusoe On Mars (1964) 1.15am Frenzy (1972) 3.20 Rio Grande (1950) 5.15 Shenandoah (1965)

11.50am On A Clear Day (2005) 1.35pm These Foolish Things (2006) 3.35 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 6.10 Nina’s Heavenly Delights (2006) 8.00 Fire (1996) 10.00 Earth (1998) 12.20am Z Channel: A Magnificent Obsession (2004) 2.30 The Ground Truth (2006)

1.00pm Carpool (1996) 2.40 George Clooney on Leatherheads 2.50 Picnic (1955) 5.05 Jungle Book (1942) 7.05 Happy-GoLucky Preview 7.15 When Eight Bells Toll (1971) 9.00 Changing Lanes (2001) 10.50 Go (1999) 12.50am Sex, Lies and Videotape (1989) Influential indie drama.

1.00pm Gone With The Wind – The Making of the Musical 2.00 All About Bette 3.00 All This and Heaven Too (1940) 5.25 Damon and Pythias (1962) 7.10 Cat On A Hot Tin Roof (1958) 9.00 The Great Waldo Pepper (1975) 11.00 Victor/Victoria (1982) 1.50am The House Of The Seven Hawks (1959)

Classics

Indie

065_LS368_TV_mon

4/11/08

10:59 AM

Page 1

monday 21 Am I Normal?

BBC2, 9pm The documentary series continues as clinical psychologist Dr Tanya Byron asks why some of us are willing to starve ourselves, cut flesh and break bones to conform with social pressures about appearance. She explores how young and vulnerable people are in danger of developing disorders.

A Study in Sherlock BBC2, 11.20pm Light your pipe and settle in for a look at the enduring appeal of Britain’s famous deer-stalker toting, cocaine-shooting fictional detective. Kim Newman and Minette Walters examine his various on-screen incarnations, from Peter Cushing’s dashing detective to Rupert Everett’s troubled ‘tec (left).

Glamour Girls BBC3, 8.30pm BBC3 goes behind the scenes at the Samantha Bond Model Agency to probe the airbrushed surface of modern pin-ups.

Tonight tempers flare in Tenerife as a photoshoot on a public beach goes awry, and former page 3 girl Anna Traverer attempts to make her modelling comeback.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Missing Live 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.00 To Buy or Not to Buy 11.45 Cash in the Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News and Weather 3.05 Space Pirates 3.35 ChuckleVision 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.10 Roar 4.35 Grange Hill 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Arthur 7.25 Newsround 7.29 The Owl 7.30 Hider in the House 8.30 Jackanory Junior 8.45 Numberjacks 9.05 Boogie Beebies 9.15 Me Too! 9.35 Something Special 9.50 Be Safe with the Tweenies 10.00 In the Night Garden 10.30 Focus 10.50 Look And Read 11.10 Razzledazzle 11.30 Watch 11.45 Magic Key 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Science Clips Investigates (x2) 1.20 Primary Geography 1.30 World Championship Snooker 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the general knowledge quiz.

6.30 Great British Menu The chefs from Scotland prepare their starters: Tom Kitchin produces a wild boar breakfast, whilst Matt Gray serves up braised shoulder of beef.

7.00 World Championship Snooker Ray Stubbs and John Parrott continue coverage of play at The Crucible in Sheffield.

8.00 University Challenge – The Professionals The second semi final, and the Ministry of Justice does battle with the team representing Salisbury Cathedral for a place in the final.

8.30 Hairy Bikers Come Home 9.00 Am I Normal? See highlights.

10.00 Have I Got News For You Popular news quiz.

10.30 Newsnight Coverage of today’s important national and international news stories with Jeremy Paxman.

11.20 A Study in Sherlock See highlights.

12.00am World Snooker Highlights Ray Stubbs introduces highlights from the championship’s first round matches.

12.50 World Championship Snooker Extra 2.30 Joins BBC News 24 4.00 GCSE Bitesize Revision

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.10 ITV News 11.15 Meridian News and Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Goldenballs

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me 8.30 Frasier (x2) 9.30 Will and Grace 10.00 The OC 10.50 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 11.45 Designers Under Pressure 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 Great British Brands 12.50 FILM: Man With The Gun (1955) 2.25 A Place in the Sun: Home Or Away 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 Meridian Tonight All the latest news, sport and breaking stories from across the region.

Including Meridian weather.

6.25 Party Election Broadcast by the British National Party 6.30 ITV Evening News and Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Shadrach finally meets his long lost daughter, Genesis.

7.30 Coronation Street David begins his sentence – but can he cope without his mum?

8.00 Jail My Child: Tonight This edition meets the parents who have turned their criminal children in to the police despite the difficult consequences of such a decision.

8.30 Coronation Street Smarting from Leanne’s rejection, Paul is seething when he learns of her latest plans without him.

9.00 Taggart Burke and the team investigate the murder of a man who was tortured and executed on a remote area of Glasgow wasteland.

10.00 News at Ten and Weather 10.35 FILM: Pale Rider (1985) Atmospheric western about a gun-toting preacher who defends a settlement from attack.

12.40am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.10 Nightwatch with Steve Scott 2.05 Loose Women 2.55 Make Me Perfect

6.00 The Simpsons Bart switches tests with super-brain Martin Prince.

6.30 Hollyoaks The Ashworths are in turmoil after Rhys and Beth’s departure.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: CCTV Nation 8.00 Immigration: The Inconvenient Truth Rageh Omaar investigates how immigration has affected Britain, and whether Enoch Powell’s apocalyptic visions of 40 years ago have any basis in reality.

9.00 A Time Team Special: The Lost Dock of Liverpool Tony Robinson and the team scour the 42-acre site of the Paradise project in Liverpool.

10.00 The Doctor Who Hears Voices The true story of a junior doctor who begins to hear a voice inside her head ordering her to commit suicide.

11.20 FILM: The Proposition (2005) Violent drama set in the Australian Outback of the 1880s.

1.10am Barry Humphries: The Man Inside Dame Edna The very private man behind comic creations Dame Edna Everage and Sir Les Patterson.

2.10 FILM: The Business Of Strangers (2001) 3.40 Strange Little Girls 3.55 Immigration: The Inconvenient Truth

6.55am Fireman Sam 7.05 Roary 7.20 Rupert Bear 7.30 Mr. Men 7.50 Noddy 8.05 Fifi and the Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Pocoyo 8.45 Ebb and Flo 8.50 Bird Bath 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm House Doctor 12.30 News 12.45 Law and Order 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Mary Higgins Clark: The Cradle Will Fall (2004) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home and Away What is Roman’s plan – and will it work?

6.30 Monkey Life It is time for baby woolly monkey Julio to leave his life living with humans.

7.00 Five News National and international news.

7.30 How do They do It? Robert discovers the surprising process behind the creation of banknotes, learns how falconry has found a new role in industry and witnesses the construction of the world’s largest truck.

8.00 The Gadget Show Consumer technology show presented by Jason Bradbury, Suzi Perry and Jon Bentley.

9.00 Paul Merton in China Paul arrives in Beijing, the start of his own oriental ‘Grand Tour’.

10.00 Dom Joly’s Complainers Comedian Dom Joly and a crack team of ‘complainers’ set about tackling the myriad irritations of modern life.

11.05 FILM: The Big Bounce (2004) Crime caper about a drifter living in Hawaii who gets sacked from the construction company he is working for and hooks up with the thrill-seeking mistress of the boss who fired him.

12.40am USPGA Golf 1.30 NHL Ice Hockey 4.20 A1 Grand Prix 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 11.00 Spanish Football 1.00pm Ford Football Special 2.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 3.00 Spanish Football 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.30 LIVE Speedway 9.30 You’re on Sky Sports 10.30 Big League Weekend 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.30 Big League Weekend 3.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 4.30 You’re on Sky Sports 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly

6.00 BBC News and Weather 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Watchdog Consumer magazine, presented by Nicky Campbell.

7.57 BBC News and Regional News National and regional news bulletin from the BBC. 8.00 EastEnders Minty and Heather celebrate their final night of freedom, but does the marriage mean more to them than they’ll admit?

8.30 Panorama Pilots almost passing out at the controls; passengers who’ve been made ill by toxic fumes. Can polluted air on board planes damage your health?

9.00 Waking the Dead The team’s investigations lead them to a group of ex-cons after the discovery of a human head.

10.00 BBC News; Regional News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.35 Meet the Immigrants Every day, refugees arrive in northern France from Africa and the Middle East hoping to enter the UK illegally.

We meet ‘Jamal’, who lives in a makeshift camp near Calais.

11.05 Inside Sport 11.45 FILM: The Deep (1977) Saucy undersea adventure.

1.45am Springwatch Weatherview 1.50 Sign Zone: Clowns 2.50 Am I Normal? 3.50 To Buy or Not to Buy

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Sports Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 8.00 Max Power 9.00 LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters (x2) 5.00pm High Five 5.30 High Five 6.00 Sports Adventures 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 Sports Adventure 7.30 World Motor Sport 10.00 British Rally Championship 11.00 Speedway 1.00am World Series of Poker 2007 2.00 World Motor Sport 4.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 11.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Golf Night 2.00 Sports Adventure 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Golf Night 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 8.00 British Rally Championship 9.00 World Series of Poker 2007 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 LIVE WWE: Late Night Raw

Matt Chittock

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Cold Case 2.00 Angel 3.00 Stargate SG-1 4.00 Stargate SG-1 5.00 Futurama (x3) 6.30 Malcolm in the Middle 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Bones 11.00 Road Wars 12.00am Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Road Wars 1.55 Road Wars 2.50 Angel

7.00pm Dragons’ Den 8.00 The Real Hustle 8.30 Glamour Girls. See highlights. 9.00 Natalie Cassidy’s Diet Secrets 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Gavin and Stacey 11.00 Pulling 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Glamour Girls 12.45 Natalie Cassidy’s Diet Secrets 1.40 Gavin and Stacey

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Abroad Again in Britain 8.30 The Book Quiz 9.00 How to Build a Cathedral 10.00 FILM: The Hunchback Of Notre Dame (1939) 11.50 Britain’s Greatest Buildings 12.40am How to Build a Cathedral 1.40 Abroad Again in Britain 2.40 The Book Quiz

4.30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Breaking Up with Shannen Doherty 8.30 Airline 9.00 Pushing Daisies 10.00 FILM: Wimbledon (2004) 12.00am Coronation Street (x2) 1.00 Keith Lemon’s World Tour

12.25pm Heartbeat 1.35 Rosemary and Thyme 3.35 Ironside 4.40 PD James: Shroud for a Nightingale 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 The Wonder Years (x2) 8.00 PD James: Shroud for a Nightingale 9.00 Hack 10.00 Numb3rs 11.00 Cane 11.50 Tales of the Unexpected (x2) 1.00am Quincy, ME

2.35pm Kevin Hill 3.30 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name is Earl 8.00 Friends 8.30 Friends 9.00 FILM: Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003) 10.55 Hollyoaks: In the City 11.55 Scrubs (x2) 1.00am The Simple Life: Interns (x2)

1.10pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 Hill Street Blues 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 Shrink Rap 11.05 ER 12.05am Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

3.00pm Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 9.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 10.00 Hotel Babylon 11.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.05am The X Files

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.40pm Open All Hours 6.20 My Family 7.00 Porridge 7.40 Only Fools and Horses 8.20 Blackadder Goes Forth 9.00 The Royle Family 9.40 Absolutely Fabulous 10.20 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.00 Only Fools and Horses 11.40 Blackadder Goes Forth 12.20am Absolutely Fabulous

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Becker (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x4) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Two and a Half Men 11.40 Scrubs 12.10am South Park 12.40 Two and a Half Men (x2)

4.00pm Days That Shook the World 5.00 How It’s Made 5.30 How do They do It? 6.00 Mythbusters (x2) 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 American Chopper 10.00 Mythbusters 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA: Body of Evidence (x2) 1.00 Most Evil 2.00 Forensic Detectives

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Force Of Impact (2005) 3.50 Star Trek 4.50 The Lost World 5.50 FILM: Flash Gordon (1980) 8.00 Flash Gordon 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: The Great Los Angeles Earthquake (1990) 12.00am FILM: The Phantom (1996) 2.00 The Lost World 3.00 Dark Angel

11.55am Pocketful Of Miracles (1961) 2.15pm Limelight (1952) 4.35 West Side Story (1961) 7.10 Holiday Inn (1942) 9.00 Romanoff & Juliet (1961) 10.50 Pocketful Of Miracles (1961) 1.15am Modern Times (1936) 2.55 Holiday Inn (1942) 4.45 Limelight (1952)

11.30am Better Luck Tomorrow (2003) 1.15pm The Host (2006) 3.25 Indie Close-Up 3.55 Seven Swords (2005) 6.25 Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) 8.15 Better Luck Tomorrow (2003) 10.00 Ong-Bak (2004) 11.55 The Host (2006) 2.00am Seven Swords (2005)

1.00pm The Gentle Sex (1943) 2.55 The Million Pound Note (1954) 4.35 Timberjack (1955) 6.20 George Clooney on Leatherheads 6.30 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea (1954) 9.00 The Abyss (1989) 11.45 Beneath The Planet Of The Apes (1970) 1.30am Run Lola Run (1999) 3.15 Close

1.00pm Reunion In France (1942) 3.00 Rhapsody (1954) 5.00 Joe The Busybody (1972) 6.35 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) 9.00 McCabe And Mrs Miller (1971) 11.10 The Best House In London (1968) 12.55am Night Digger (1971) 2.50 Johnny Eager (1942) 5.00 After The Thin Man (1936)

Classics

Indie