Latest 7 Magazine: Issue 382 22-28 July 2008

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the city magazine for brighton www.latest7.co.uk

★ jobs ★ cars ★ news ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 22–28 July 2008

FREE WEEKLY

sunday classic the old market coffee concerts tune up

sit back and relax duke of york’s jon barrenechea on the success of the refurb house of harmony 30 the drive is open to relax and rejuvenate body, spirit and mind

win vip dark knight tickets, film goodies & cinema membership!!

return of the bat batman is back, as the dark knight premieres at the duke of york’s page 15 THAI GASTROBAR

My back feels so much better after visiting Revitalise Amanda Neil, Paramedic

More than 50 top acts confirmed, including New Young Pony Club and Four Tet. Tickets are available now via www.loopbrighton.com and Resident and Rounder record shops.

Yoga & Colonics

165-169 PRINCES HOUSE PRINCES PLACE, NORTH ST, BRIGHTON TEL 01273 773030 WWW.SABAI.UK.COM

at

Tel: 01273 738389 86 Church Rd, Hove BN3 2EB

www.revitalise-u.com health@revitalise-u.com

30 The Drive, Hove Come and join us at our open afternoon for free consultations and great give-aways

Friday 25 July 4-7pm

See you there

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Contents

Welcome

★ latest jobs 4

★ latest listings 23–45

4 Get a fresh new start to your day

23 Reviews and listings index

We've got some more brilliant competitions for you this week. The new Batman The Dark Knight is about to premiere and as usual, the Duke of York's is celebrating in style, with Batmanthemed parties, fancy dress competitions and a first showing at midnight. To find out how to win tickets, merchandise and membership of the unique independent picturehouse - the oldest working cinema in Britain - turn to our cover feature on page 15.

Film critic Craig Driver interviewed the man behind the programming, Duke of York's manager Jon Barrenechea, to find out all about the new balcony where you can sit in comfy armchairs and pretend you have your own millionaire's home cinema. See the film section starting on page 26.

Our second big competition gives you the chance to win two flights to Normandy from Shoreham airport (p6). Katie has been away so Alison Swann has taken her place this week, writing about why our very own tutuwearing, leather-booted North Lainers are worth a million London fashionistas (p7).

It's just a month until Beachdown Festival, Brighton's new eco-hippy festival featuring hundreds of local and international performers.

Music editor Jeff Hemmings has the latest news (p29) and we hear two thirds of the 10,000 tickets have already been sold, so if you haven't got yours, you'd better act quickly.

Gay columnist Will went to Pride London and had a great time, but still didn't think it can match up to our home-grown party and parade. Find out why in Latest Gay (p36).

Sandra is tackling racism in the fashion industry (p17) and has been taking part in a BBC documentary about why black models are under-represented.

Andrew revived his passion for Eurovision at an interactive performance of Eurobeat, the new stage show (p25).

Zara Baker found a hairdresser who could undo the damage caused by years of dyeing her hair (p17).

Have you ever walked along New Road and found yourself lamenting your age as you realise no one hands you a clubbing flyer any more? Victoria Nangle has, read about her battle to work this and other gripes into her stand-up act on page 24.

In news, Phil Mills also tackles the subject of age and finds out how studying snails might help us understand dementia (p13).

If you're feeling a little world-weary, you just need a lift or you want to make some serious changes to your life, 30 The Drive in Hove might be a good place to start. Why not try their open evening this Friday (p18) to find out about their services in everything from health to travel advice?

As usual we have hundreds of listings starting on page 23, and even more online at www.latest7.co.uk

★ latest upfront 6–10

We tell it like it was: the good, the bad and the ugly

24 Comedy 6 Social diary: Birthday celebrations and the Om Cocktail Lounge opens

06

From notepad to stage – how Victoria’s ideas come to life

6 Competition: Win a flight with SkySouth

24 Books

8 Eminemmylou and Dani

25 Stage

Exploring the stanzas of a Lewes poet Interactive audience fun in new stage show Eurobeat at the Theatre Royal

9 Celeb city: Where’s Preston?

10 Bare cheek: The bath or shower vote

★ latest news 11–16 11 Big story: Rod Aldridge on plans to sponsor Falmer School

26 Film The Dark Knight is here! Plus, Craig Driver gets backstage at a city favourite

28 Art George Baxter at Lewes Town Hall

28 Kids and Events Surfers Against Sewage need you, plus all the listings for the week

12 News round up of the week 13 Phil Mills delves into biology and discovers how snails are furthering research into ageing diseases

15 Cover feature: Getting excited about the latest Batman outing The Dark Knight? Don’t miss this fantastic reader giveaway with the Duke of York’s

29 Music

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Jeff Hemmings checks out Beachdown, plus all the news from the local scene and beyond Brighton Latest Download Chart

TOP

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16 Letters and news from the sport bunker

★ latest lifestyle 15–17 17 Health and Model City: Wedding hair with Headmasters in Brighton

18 30 The Drive: the one-stop-shop for all your therapy and fitness needs

20 Food: Stakes are raised at Grosvenor Casino – and the steak’s good too

34 Clubs and music listings Dates for the diary – you never need to stay home in front of the TV again, unless that’s your thing of course

36 Gay Will Tells, news and all the listings

38 Television Indulge in our weekly guide to the box – but avoid Big Brother, warns Dani

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28 16 01273

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Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith

Editor Rachel Pegg

Business Director Angi Mariani

Assistant Editor Zara Baker

Creative Director Andrew Kay

Website Manager Paul Burgess

Production Director Fiona McTernan

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Finance Manager Sharon Caple

Chief Sub Editor Alison Swann

Art Director Stephen King

Listings Editor Nick Aldwinckle

Production Manager Neil Ive

Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Staff Writers Matt Chittock Craig Driver Katie Glass Dani Winch Designers Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Faye Perriam Steve Sawyer Sub Editors Joe Curtin Melina Greenfield Tristan Parker

Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Sales Lucy Kamper Sophie Longhurst Marie Viviani Administration Claire Peerless Sara Henfridsson

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Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

Rachel Pegg Latest 7 Editor latest 7 3

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jobs

Call Marie on 01273 818150 ext 102

Property Recruitment Specialists

Top Media Jobs

Letting Negotiator in Charge Horley The Negotiator in Charge must be the pacemaker, providing leadership through example; effective communication, motivating and training the staff so their potential is achieved and the business is driven forward and developed.

Account & PR Manager – Zerofiftyone Limited We are looking for a flexible, professional and intelligent person who has great organisational skills. You must possess good client facing presentation skills.

Senior Sales Negotiator Rustington We are looking for an energetic, articulate and ambitious person with a successful track record in residential sales, have excellent conversion rates and willing to work hard to get results!

Senior Sales Executive – Oban Multilingual Our speciality in international search and search engine optimisation combined with our years of experience with website localisation means that we can offer a unique international marketing service. This role requires you to sell multilingual search engine marketing (SEM) and search engine optimisation (SEO) products to businesses.

Senior Sales Negotiator Horsham A pro-active, enthusiastic candidate required having at least 2+ years experience in residential sales, local knowledge preferred but not essential. Call now for further details.

.NET Developer – Nexus Internet Solutions .NET developer sought to create and maintain bespoke web-based applications and information systems. Nexus has a friendly and inclusive culture that rewards inventiveness and resourcefulness. We offer a great salary, family friendly hours and flexitime and our office is located in the heart of Brighton, very close to the seafront

Web Developer – DoYourOwnSite! LTD DoYourOwnSite! is a popular service offering thousands of businesses a quick and easy way to build and maintain their own websites. The successful applicant will play an active role in the conception, planning and development of the services offered by DoYourOwnSite! and will be given opportunities to explore new areas and ideas.

Assistant Storage Officer – University Of Sussex The campus data backup service is an essential component of the University’s IT disaster recovery strategy. The post holder will assist the Senior Storage Officer in the operation of the backup system.

everyone has a price on their head

to maximize your potential call us now on:

0845 130 1188 fax 0845 130 1189

email enquiries@lca-jobs.com

web www.lca-jobs.com

Project Manager/Producer – Kerb Kerb are a digital agency that specialise in online entertainment content and websites. We’re seeking an experienced Project Manager to manage the production of web sites and games. Key qualities include experience, enthusiasm, creativity, personality & desire to work on ground-breaking entertainment content.

IT Support Analyst – iCrossing iCrossing, formerly known as Spannerworks in the UK, is a global digital marketing company that combines talent and technology to help world-class brands such as Coca Cola, HBOS, TUI and Virgin. iCrossing require an IT Support Analyst.

(Flash) Technical Developer – Mind Orchard (UK) Ltd Mind Orchard UK Limited is a fun and innovative, digital design agency who specialise in advertising, animation and games development. We’re seeking a technology leader, with strong all round web development skills, aware of the latest developments and eager to make high quality work and break the mould occasionally.

Brighton Internship Programme Can’t get a job without any experience – but can’t get any experience without a job?

How would an internship with one of Brighton’s hottest digital media companies help?

Last year, Brighton Internship Programme (BIP) successfully placed 15 graduate interns with local creative businesses. This year, BIP is back and bigger than ever.

We’re looking to place recent graduates with 25 Brighton-based companies for a sixweek scheme starting in September 2008. If that sounds interesting, register your interest today and we’ll keep you up-to-date: www.wiredsussex.com/bip

4 latest jobs

hundreds of jobs every week

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latest

Call Marie on 01273 818150 ext 102

Call Centre Trainer Brighton – £23k

HR Assistant Brighton – £18k

A brand new call centre in Brighton currently has an opening for a Call Centre Trainer to develop and monitor staff performance and quality levels.

You will need to have a proven ability within a call centre training environment to include managing induction programmes and writing course material.

Are you working towards a CPP or CIPD qualification? This is a dual-role to include HR and recruitment for this growing call-centre in Brighton. You will need to have Employment Law knowledge and have experience of recruitment and selection. This is a support role to the Human Resources Manager.

Data-entry Clerk Brighton – £12–13k Are you extremely fast at typing? Our client has relaxed offices in the heart of Brighton and due to continuing expansion they are currently looking for 2 x data-entry clerks to join their team! You will need to have a good level of speed and accuracy.

Payroll Administrator Brighton – £25k

Call-Centre Agents – £7.00–£11.00ph Are you target driven and motivated by money?

If you have a confident telephone manner and enjoy earning lots of money, we are looking for part-time and full-time call-centre agents to join an established, lively team. The company is based in the heart of Brighton and offers a fun and lively environment.

jobs

Quality Control Laboratory Manager Brighton – £40k An exciting opportunity to head up a growing QC laboratory recently transferred to brand new facilities within an expanding Pharmaceutical manufacturing company located on the South Coast. You will have the opportunity to work in a fast-paced environment where you will be managing and developing a team of analysts to achieve company goals and objectives. Reporting to the Associate Director GMP QA, you will manage a team of 10 staff (working on two shifts) responsible for QC functions such as Raw Material and FPS testing, method development, method validation, contract laboratory services, GMP, GLP and Health and Safety.

A brand new call centre in Brighton is looking for a Payroll administrator with SAGE to join their very new team! You will look after the entire payroll process of a fast expanding call-centre.

A comprehensive knowledge of PAYE and Tax legislation is required.

Home Information Pack Consultant required (Full & Part Time) We are looking for someone preferably with property knowledge to work in our growing team to order Home Information Packs which requires sales and administration skills. Suitable applicants must be able to multi-task but be attentive.

Full-time hours are 9am–5pm Monday to Friday and every other Saturday 11am–3pm. Part-time hours are 9am–5pm Monday and Wednesday and every other Saturday 11am–3pm. The successful candidate will be required to start as soon as possible.

Please email your CV with a covering letter to charlotte.lowry@hipsuk.co.uk or send to HIPs UK56 Lansdowne Place, Hove, East Sussex, BN3 1FG latest7.co.uk/jobs

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LATESTDIARY

COMPETITIONS

latestdiary

IN IT TO WIN IT

With Tim Richardson

Normandy in no time!

Chilled cocktails On Wednesday 9 July, which happened to be a very damp and dreary summer's evening, it was a pleasure to be invited to the opening of the Om Cocktail Lounge, Bar & Club. Amongst hypnotic surroundings within a tranquil environment, this new bar has a distinctive look and chilled out vibe that has not yet been seen in Brighton. The bar is located on a rather unassuming street, so it’s a welcome surprise to step into its vibrant but tranquil environment. Its bamboo and Asian decor and blissed out tunes create a chilled atmosphere, perfect for relaxing with a gorgeous cocktail or two. The Om Cocktail Lounge, Bar & Club is located on 5 Steine Street, BN2 1TE. www.ombrighton.co.uk

Lindsay Fergusson, Lucy Hope (Om)

Birthday boy On Tuesday 8 July, Bill Smith, managing editor of Latest Homes was thrown a surprise birthday party to celebrate his 21st birthday (once again), in the company of work colleagues and friends. A magnificent spread of Indian tasters was accompanied by champagne, wine and beer; with music from Seth Morgan.

Hilde (www.hildebellydance.co.uk)

Win a flight to Normandy from Shoreham with Skysouth Summer looks to be well and truly on the way, with temperatures soaring right across Europe. This year, why not experience the delights of Normandy by flying to Caen and Deauville with Skysouth from Shoreham Airport?

Forget the stress and delays we have come to expect at larger airports. Beginning your journey at nearby Shoreham Airport means you’re on holiday before even boarding the plane. With boarding time as little as half an hour before departure, there is plenty of time to relax over a drink while contemplating the delights of the holiday ahead.

Normandy really is just a short hop across the Channel, just 50 minutes flying time from Shoreham. Skysouth operates five flights a week to Deauville and three flights a week to Caen. Once in Normandy, experience the glorious outdoor lifestyle, with miles of beaches and sporting pursuits, including horseracing and a variety of water sports. Or, stay inside and dine at one of many fine restaurants, and while the evening away in the glamorous casinos. Enter this fantastic competition and try a different trip abroad this year, as Skysouth have your holiday sorted – but you’ve got to be in it to win it!

For your chance to win two seats on one of Skysouth’s flights to Normandy, redeemable in September, simply answer the following question: Which fruit is the aperitif Calvados made from?

See below for full terms and conditions.

Fly local with Skysouth where fares start from as little as £69 one way.

To book online or for more information, visit: www.skysouth.co.uk

To be in with a chance of winning: email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘Skysouth’ in the subject box. Leave your answer to the question in the body of the email, along with your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Entrants must be aged 16 and over. The prize is two seats on a flight with Skysouth to Normandy, redeemable in September 2008. The winner will be chosen at random. The editor’s decision is final.

Closing date for entries: Monday 4 August 2008.

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KATIE’SCOLUMN

See more at latest7.co.uk

What Alison did Alison Swann is loving the Gok as he shows how to play fashion designers at their own game

For the love of Gok “Where’s the street fashion? Where’s the individuality?” my über-cool London-based sister commented as we wandered through Soho the other night. As I looked around and clone-zoned Londoners walked by I knew what she meant.

I haven’t lived in London for over three years, and going back often feels like taking a trip in an early ‘90s time machine. Maybe people are just too busy to care about actually putting their own flavour into what they are wearing and sure, there are some examples of individual style, but overall it’s uniformly dull.

Back home in Brighton, there are no such thoughts going through my mind. Individual style is a way of life for many in this city. Five minutes in the North Laine will confirm that for anyone with eyes. There’s enough shades of hair colour to make a parrot feel at home and as good old Mary Queen of Shops said recently, Brighton has its own style tribe and it doesn’t take long to find it.

“Never has a gay man banged on about boobies with quite so much enthusiasm” Which brings me to my new favourite subject: loving the Gok. Now I wasn’t much of a fan when he did the: ‘Come on love! Get your bangers out and look good naked‘ show. It was always worth a look as never has a gay man banged on about boobies with quite so much enthusiasm.

Having said that, I rarely got the impression any of those ‘self-esteem issue’ ladies were bounding around the place with the joie de vivre of an 18-year-old Swedish au pair on a naturist beach. And it was slightly bizarre that quite often the ‘reveal’ happened in a shopping centre somewhere south of Milton Keynes and was witnessed by said lady’s offspring and a raggle taggle of extended family. But he meant well and I know that ladies of a certain age loved him for it.

Anyway, his new show is a cracker. Gok's Fashion Fix has a ‘set 'em and knock 'em’ down premise. It serves up a nice dollop of voyeurism as the camera noses into the designer clothing stores and the show

ponies that shop in them. Then deliciously ridicules the designer buyers who say such mind-numbing weepable things like: “Wear a bikini from Top Shop? Oh my God that would be a tragedy!” Really? I mean, really?

Gok then gets us all on side by cleverly popping down Top Shop, getting his scissors out, and explaining why designer clothing looks different (it’s all about seams apparently) and shows you how to copy it!

Glue a bit of glitter to a recycled school uniform from 1982, yank your granny’s petticoat over the top and and tie it round the back with a curtain tassel and, wham, bam, thank you ma’am, suddenly you’ve got a Vivienne Westwood on your hands.

Now I’m sure I saw someone working that look down Lewes Road last week. Street fashion, Brighton’s got it licked. I’ll tell my sister…

• Katie will be back with her regular column next issue.

Comments, queries and general chitchat can be sent to: letters@thelatest.co.uk

latestcrossword Cryptic 153 ACROSS 1 Revolutionary's new type of pottery in planning (8) 5 Vermin run over by celebrity (4) 9 Shoulder movement seen in Welsh rugby (5) 10 Scent containing Northern water (7) 11 Ingest tar, die in convulsions and fall to bits (12) 13 Get back, for instance, in poor weather (6) 14 Mourn over rig girl (6) 17 Hide broken headpiece in scribes' office (12) 20 Centre in which one hides wayward temptress (7) 21 Zany teachers try being heartless (5) 22 Rent by wind without fuss (4) 23 The way parrots, for instance, can be hunters (8)

solutions on page 36

Quick 153 DOWN 1 Elite unit take Haitian capital and do victory loop (4) 2 German drink tipped over fish (7) 3 Ice men facing a sort of greatness (12) 4 French resort to twenty extremes of refinement (6) 6 Girl alias Anita (5) 7 Biblical pair held by backward doctor but no longer anxious (8) 8 Strange garden snail holds key warning (6,6) 12 Moon Street (8) 15 Give right to lie in tent after it's been assembled (7) 16 Enticement to let vehicle rust away (6) 18 Provide food for animal queen (5) 19 Eastern approval for lookers (4)

ACROSS 1 Big animal (8) 5 Blemish (4) 9 Reject (5) 10 Reproof (7) 11 Stupidity (12) 13 Blurred (6) 14 Trader (6) 17 Utter destruction (12) 20 Examine (7) 21 Din (5) 22 River (4) 23 Delivered (8)

DOWN 1 Direction (4) 2 Teach (7) 3 Nose cloth (12) 4 Godly beverage (6) 6 Feather (5) 7 Riches (8) 8 Oversight (12) 12 Wearing away (8) 15 Symptom of leprosy (7) 16 Cheerful (6) 18 Concerning the nose (5) 19 Curve (4)

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RHYME

EMOTIONS

Eminemmylou Hi, I’m Eminemmylou, throwin’ lyrics at you.

This week with Michael Marra

Hermless, the alternative Scottish national anthem Wi’ ma hand on ma hert and ma hert in ma mooth, Wi erms that could reach ower the sea, Ma feet micht be big but the insects are safe They'll never get stood on by me Hermless, hermless, there’s never nae bother fae me I ging to the libry, I tak’ oot a book And then I go hame for ma tea I save a’ the coupons that come wi’ the soup And when I have saved 53 I send awa 50, pit three in the drar And something gets posted tae me Hermless, hermless, there’s never nae bother fae me

I dae whit I m telt and I tidy my room, And then I come doon for my tea There’s ane or twa lads wha I could cry my chums They’re canny and meek as can be There’s Tam wi’ his pigeons, And Wull wi his mice, And Robert McLennan and me Hermless, hermless, there’s never nae bother fae me I ging to the libry, I tak’ oot a book And then I go hame for ma tea Hermless, hermless, there’s never nae bother fae me Naebody’d notice that I wasnae there If I didnae come hame for ma tea © Michael Marra

Send rhymes and a pic to: eminemmylou@thelatest.co.uk

Dani’s diary Dani is in a grumpy mood and fears it could be indicative of something far more serious I am in a grumpy mood and it’s never really a good idea for me to write this while in that kind of mood. You will only get the wrong impression of me and think I am a moaning little whinger all the time. Which isn’t necessarily untrue but on these regular days I manage to add a hint of sarcasm into the mix which at least lightens the mood ever so slightly.

I hate being in a bad mood and although I try and pull myself out of it I fail miserably. But each mood is different because it is created by something different. I’m sure I have a mood for every occasion and I wouldn’t be surprised if many of the women I know did too. My mood today is one of those where if someone did something that even remotely annoyed me I would either: cry, hit them, scream, all of the above, or jump out the nearest window.

This is clearly a problem as between the hours of nine and five I have to be so overly polite I feel my head will explode. This, therefore is clearly creating a conflict inside my head thus making my mood worse than it already is.

Nothing beats letting off a bit of steam. But what is the best way to do that? Some people box. Some people listen to Sinead O’Connor Some people jog. I swear (a bit too much). Eight times out of ten between the hours of nine and five I will either feel exhausted or grumpy. And the thing that worries me is that seven times out of ten I have no reason to feel that way.

“Nothing beats letting off a bit of steam. But what is the best way to do that? I swear”

For more rhymes check out myspace.com/eminemmylou It is the tiredness worries me though. Because I generally sleep when I am unhappy. And when you suffer with an anxiety disorder just generally feeling a bit down means more than a frown. It can and most definitely will lead to panic attacks, a more frequent need to wash my hands, not wanting to leave the house, becoming obsessed with cleaning strange areas which probably don’t need cleaning. I will not feel hungry, I will forget to eat, I will cancel plans with false excuses because I just can’t bring myself to do anything.

For me, feeling a bit low means a lot more than it might for you.

Because I am always worried that I will end up in the middle of my second nervous breakdown without having seen the signs that put me into my first. I’d like to say that I would have to be dragged kicking and screaming into that again but the irony of it all is that you slip completely unaware of what is happening into a nerve-induced coma and before you know it it’s been three months and you can’t leave the house. I think I need to discover a new way to beat the blues, and I’m hoping a stint at the gym will help. The idea scares me slightly but I’ll give it a go. First however a trip to Primark for some cheap gym gear!

For comments and chit chat email letters@thelatest.co.uk Collection/delivery ordering service for

IKEA goods Tell us what you want, and we’ll deliver it. Simple as that.

No traffic. No queues. No rows. No hassle.

FEARLESS MIKE 01273 711166 As seen on TV

admin@fearlessmike.com

www.fearlessmike.com

Ask about our flatpack assembly service We are an independent limited company and not part of the Ikea group

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AROUNDTOWN

sponsored by

Celebcity

we’re on the subject of festivals – I am seriously thinking of pitching my tent on Devil’s Dyke for the Beachdown Festival weekend. With acts like De La Soul and the Fun Lovin’ Criminals and Roisin Murphy, it’s a hot ticket.

with Jo Brooks

Style city Brighton’s fashion is making its mark worldwide and where is Preston?

It’s no secret that Brighton is home to some of the country’s most fashionable people (Mary Portas said so on Mary Queen of Shops last week). One of our very own designers – Sarah Arnett – has been exporting her style around the globe and seeing the fruits of her fashion labours on some of the most high profile women in the fashion industry. We spotted a beautiful Sarah Arnett dress being worn

by George Clooney ex and TV presenter Lisa Snowdon on the final of Britain’s Next Top Model and can report that international supermodel Cindy Crawford has also just bagged herself two creations by the Brighton designer in a stockist in Toronto. Style-savvy Brightonians know that they don’t have to travel over to Canada to get a great deal on a gorgeous Arnett gown – they simply get down to the Sarah Arnett sale shop on East Street and indulge.

Exciting news for those of you who have managed to get tickets for the forthcoming beach extravaganza Big Beach Boutique 4… I can confirm that Fatboy Slim’s special guest will be American house music legend Danny Tenaglia. Famous worldwide, Danny is currently enjoying a weekly residency at global clubbing institution Space in Ibiza. While

Danny Tenaglia

Pure Evil – Pink Bunny

The naughtiest Rolling Stone, Ronnie Wood appears to have fallen off the wagon in grand style on an overseas binge-drinking bender with 23-year-old model and cocktail waitress Ekaterina Ivanova. Ron reportedly jetted home from the Irish booze-up in an attempt to save his marriage to long-term (and long-suffering) partner Jo, who called time on their 23 year relationship after discovering just what sort of craic the aging rocker was having in the Emerald Isle. Here at JBPR we are always upset to hear news of anyone’s marital difficulties, but we have to express our glee at seeing the cheeky Russian at the centre of the story pictured in The Sun wearing a pink T-shirt created by, and emblazoned with, the name of one of our favourite graffiti artists, Pure Evil. I collaborated with Pure Evil on the Cans Festival in London in May this year and have to say the Welsh boy was a hit.

Anyone who missed Cans can catch Pure Evil’s work at Ink’d Gallery on North Road in Brighton, where his solo show is on until 2 August.

I was very sad to hear that Worthing resident and comedy royal, Hugh Lloyd died this week at the age of 85. I met Hugh a number of times and he was a lovely man who did a lot of work in support both of local business and charity. Most famous for his starring roles alongside Tony Hancock in Hancock’s Half Hour, Hugh also appeared in cult classic film Quadrophenia, set in Brighton.

Spotted! Partaking in pizza and slurping the spaghetti with his kids at Donatello, everyone’s favourite Italian restaurant was Ron Weasley’s Dad, better known as Fast Show favourite, Mark Williams. This year, he will mostly be eating lasagne… (probably).

Missing: Preston from the Ordinary Boys. We are very concerned to report that we have had absolutely no sightings of Samuel Preston for over two weeks now. Preston – are you out there? Please make yourself known to ANY member of the public. We miss you.

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com

To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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ONLY JOKING!

See more at latest7.co.uk

Bare cheek Bath or shower Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Ask MC Skat Kat The animated mouser who reached No.2 in the charts in February 1990 with his Paula Abdul duet ‘Opposites Attract’ solves your problems...

Dear MC Skat Kat, I’m a physicist, working in the field of quantum chemistry.

Recently I’ve been considering combining matter with antimatter, and I wondered if you thought this would be a good idea?

Professor Moshe Aharonson, Tel Aviv University MC SKAT CAT SEZ: Yo Prof! Listen – as y’all know, my maxim in life is “opposites attract” and, as antimatter is very definitely the opposite of matter, so I say go for it, homie! After all, it can’t hurt.

Dear MC Skat Kat, Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Professor Moshe Aharonson, Tel Aviv University MC SKAT CAT SEZ: Oops! Oh well – keep those questions coming in.

MC Skat Kat

OUT

• Cosi Fan Tutti Frutti

• Some Fantastic Place

• Klaatu barada nikto

• Sister Wendy

• Cruising for a bruising

• Jokes based upon the phrase “No animals were harmed during the making of this film”

• The Wreck of The Deutschland

CATE BLANCHETT “Shower.”

LUKE PRITCHARD “I like to sit in a lovely hot bath, but also have the shower on overhead. I don’t know why.”

In & Out

• The vessel with the pestle

LEO SAYER “Bath.”

NICK CAVE “Bath. No – shower. No, no – definitely bath. Oh strewth! It’s no good. I just can’t decide. It’s like trying to chose between my own children or something.”

Word!

IN

BATH OR SHOWER? “I’m going to wash that man right out of my hair!” So sang Mary Martin in the original Broadway production and Mitzi Gaynor in the 20th Century Fox adaptation of acclaimed popular-withhomosexuals musical South Pacific. But what’s the best way of washing your hair – and indeed the rest of you? A quick, invigorating power shower, or a lovely long soak in the tub? We asked some local celebrities for their, frankly, worthless opinions.

• The flagon with the dragon • Bum paper

Astral Angi ★Finding truth in the stars★

NORMAN COOK “As everyone knows in these ecologically conscious times, a shower uses a fraction of the water that a bath does. So I always have a bath.”

KEVIN ROWLAND “I’ve avoided showers ever since I saw that film – Mickey Blue Eyes. Oh wait, no, not that film – I mean Psycho.”

SIMON FANSHAWE “It’s baths all the way for me, and I’m always careful to save every

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

drop of bathwater, which is then used to water my prize vegetable garden. The veggies are served up to unsuspecting guests at my innumerable dinner parties.

You should see their faces when I explain that their food has been irrigated by my own personal water, produced by me! It’s priceless!”

STEVEN BERKOFF “As a young actor I was immensely keen on baths, and wouldn’t countenance the idea of a shower.

After each performance I would leap straight in for a good old hot scrub, complete with rubber duckie, inflatable neck pillow, and my favourite Robot Matey bubble bath. My idea of heaven was to luxuriate in the lathery foam, letting the tensions of having just given my Coriolanus or Laertes, soak away. Then one fateful day I’d just leapt from a particularly hot bath to audition for the taxing role of Granville in Open All Hours, and noticed to my horror that my skin was as wrinkled as a prune.

Needless to say, I didn’t get the part, and it’s been bracing showers for me ever since. I like to think that they’ve been responsible for such career highs as The Krays, Beverly Hills Cop, and my stint on Strange But True.”

DAVID VAN DAY “I sits in the horse-trough with my loofah and everyone in the village has a good old laugh – including the blooming horse! ‘Cos there ain’t no water in it, see? And no soap neither. But I don’t like washing, me.”

BARDSLEY’S

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ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

Victoria Beckham is Aries through and through, not that there is much to get through. Originally dubbed ‘posh’ she has proved that class is certainly not something you are simply born with.

Pamela Anderson and Prince William share Cancer as their star sign and both seem to have a similar love of their celebrity status. Pammy is very fond of displaying her crown jewels.

Sting is Libra. A committed activist against all manner of wrong doing, he is also famous for indulging in tantric sex, although where he finds the time beggars belief.

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19).

Dinky Mel Gibson, as Dame Edna calls him, is Scorpio. This star has certainly fallen from grace of late, so let that be a lesson to all Scorpios, leave off the booze.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

Al Pacino and Daniel Day-Lewis are Taurean, consummate professionals, focused and respected. James Brown is also Taurean so get up, get on up like a sex machine Taurus.

No surprise that Madonna is the pussy queen of the zodiac, driven and determined. There is a lesson to be learned for us all. Push all you can and avoid pointy bras.

Bill Gates is Scorpio which should have couples planning a family looking for a window of sexual opportunity late Jan/early Feb if you wish for similar astral aspects.

John Travolta is an Aquarian who has certainly seen life’s ups and downs, and up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and up… well you get my drift.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie are Gemini kids but hardly twins. Depp appears to choose a career path carefully whilst Jolie seems to career through hers.

Michael Jackson is a Virgo. It reads like a tabloid headline but is true none-the-less. One has to hope that poor Mikey is more mystery and madness than malice.

On a similar note it is perhaps best to avoid congress in late Feb/early Mar. Britney Spears is a Sagi and the stars have certainly not shined down on her, poor love.

Daniel Craig is Pisces but if he is to retain that rippling physique and Bond body he should avoid anything fried at Bardsley’s and go for something grilled or steamed.

10 latest 7

To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk

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7/17/08

5:26 PM

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latest news No nonsense, just news. Send your stories to: news@thelatest.co.uk

Rachel Pegg grilled former Capita boss Rod Aldridge on why he wants to sponsor Falmer School

Why do you want to sponsor this school?

Education has always been important to me. I have a foundation which focuses on under achievement and social exclusion. I’m already doing a city academy in Darwen. What’s special about this is it’s my home town.

I was born here and worked here, I live here and the opportunity to be a sponsor is fantastic. When I saw the previous sponsor had stepped down I contacted the local authority to say I’m interested.

Was it always your intention to have a school in this area?

I approached the local authority about Falmer in 2001. At that point the academy programme was very early and it probably wasn’t right for them or me. I went to Darwen because I knew the authority and I wanted to do a city academy. If you’re going to fund things, the amount you get with your investment is quite special. I always said if I was going to have two of these, it would only be in my home town.

What do you see as your involvement?

Now my job is to make it happen and have the commitment and enthusiasm and vision. When the academy is open, I don’t see it as my job to run it, that is the job of the principal. The principal is accountable to the governors.

Why have you chosen specialisms of entrepreneurship and sport?

What epitomises an entrepreneur is somebody who doesn’t accept their lot, is determined to try to do something about it and not be afraid of failure. To change a socially very challenging area, somebody’s got to lift the whole community. I think young people that come out of it will potentially start businesses, if not they will be ready for work. Those that do start businesses won’t expect a job to be given to them, they will go around and create jobs. I also see it as social entrepreneurship.

People will understand more about their community, challenge things, understand what it means to be a citizen, volunteer and so on. It’s an allrounded attempt to change people’s perceptions.

What if someone’s talent is in art or music or theatre?

Entrepreneurship is a very broad topic and you can start businesses in all of those. I believe in finding opportunities for all. One thing I’m looking at is a programme involving dance which will lift people’s aspirations. I’m working with Darren Bennett and Lilia Kopylova from Strictly Come Dancing to develop a programme for schools which is about creativity as much as sport or wellbeing. In sport, competition is important but it’s not only about conventional sport. The endowment fund will allow me to do other things for particularly talented people.

You failed the Eleven Plus then had a difficult education because a decision was made about you early on. Don’t specialist schools do that?

Mine was a very frustrating education. I felt a failure and it took a long time to get over that. A lot of my determination comes from that because I felt categorised. If I hadn’t had a good home and supportive parents, it’s that period where all sorts of things can happen in your life.

If you look at those not in employment, education or training, the area the school serves is the highest in the city, double the city average.

Seventy five per cent of the kids leave without English or maths. Only 35 per cent of 16 to 74-year-olds have any sort of educational qualifications.

The academy will start to change that and I want to get people stretching the boundaries of what they think is possible.

Have you spoken to any parents or children?

I have been to the public meeting at the school and a meeting with all the teaching staff. I had lunch with some of the young people and I’ve talked to them when I’ve been round the school.

What do you think about the opposition to the scheme?

7,400 consultation packs were sent out and 121 were returned. Fourteen out of over 100 staff returned them. I think some of the issues are more a national feeling than local. I’m very much a partnership person so I’m already working with the two universities, city college, the local authority and the football club because I see it as part of the development in the area. I’ve built my business around teams. I don’t see the appointment of the principal as my job alone.

Will there be any drive to make the school profit making?

We get the same budget the local authority gets but that money comes direct from the department so we have to run the school within that.

There will be opportunities to encourage others to use the facilities and there will be charges around that. I would recognise there are ongoing relationships with the Bridge and people who use the school for gymnastics but you’ve got to use the asset. The profit goes back into the business so it’s more of a social enterprise.

Can you guarantee the Swan Centre will remain?

The local authority and I have agreed to move that centre into the academy. The staff will transfer and the local authority will make a contribution because not all are pupils who would have naturally gone to the school. Over 50 per cent of pupils have special educational needs. I understand that means you’ve got to focus on it and you’ve got to try and change it. I will follow the admissions policy of the local authority so there will be no selection. I’m not going to try to drive numbers up by taking people who are better. Why would I do that with my background?

It’s just not me. With specialisms, I think we can develop the people that go there, so I’m happy to do that.

Will Capita be given any contracts from the school?

I’ve retired from Capita, I’ve nothing to do with the business.

I’m a shareholder, that is publicly known. Capita have a lot of businesses in education, in software, property and consultancy and I don’t know what they provide to that school.

I will not be involved in any procurement decision which could potentially involve Capita, that will be left to the management team or governors.

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012_LS382_newssummary

7/18/08

12:39 PM

Page 2

LATESTNEWS

news summary

7 days of headlines

London Road revealed

Brighton and Hove Bus and Coach Company put the price of a single up from £1.70 to £1.80 and a saver from £3.20 to £3.50.

Managing director Roger French said it might be necessary to increases prices again because of rising fuel costs.

Meanwhile, ecological firm The Big Lemon asked supporters to pay £100 to ‘join' so it could start running services again in September.

An emergency care centre for people on drink or drugs was set up again in West Street. Safe Space, run by Hove YMCA and the British Red Cross, takes place in St Paul's Church on Friday and Saturday nights from 10.30pm to 2.30am. It will run until 4 October, there are plans to expand onto the seafront in August.

The Schools Adjudicator ordered Brighton and Hove City Council to consult about altering the controversial new admissions system. Sir Philip Hunter ruled the council should work with parents to decide whether Patcham’s catchment area should be extended.

Council strike Hundreds of council workers marched to demand a better deal for lower paid staff. The demonstration began at Kings House, Hove on Wednesday morning before moving to Brighton Town Hall.

It was part of a number of protests taking place on Wednesday and Thursday, during national strikes by Unison, which was unhappy with a 2.45 per cent pay offer.

Alex Knutsen, Brighton and Hove branch secretary, said: “We live in a high cost part of the country. People can't afford to live and are suffering a wage cut. We have three and a half thousand members. Two thousand are on ten or eleven thousand a year.“ Teaching assistants from Hillside Special School said they had not had a pay rise for four years. Union rep Lynn Farrugia

said the workers used life saving skills if the children are ill and cover teachers' absences.

She said: “It is a huge responsibility. We want recognition for that.“ Michelle Hands, a nursery senior practitioner from Kemp Town, said: “We need a better, fairer pay rise. With the credit crunch, a lot of people are struggling.“ Thirteen schools in Brighton and Hove were closed, along with Woodvale Crematorium, King Alfred leisure centre, council housing offices, libraries and the Brighton Centre.

Council leader Mary Mears said: “This pay dispute is first and foremost a national issue. We respect the right of our employees to take strike action, but we are also committed to keeping as many services as possible open for our residents.“

Latest 7

NEWS

A glass-fronted shopping centre, 400 homes and a tower block could be built in London Road. St James's Investments has unveiled its vision including 90,000 square feet of retail units, a three storey Tesco store, 90,000 square feet of commercial space and a 1,000 space underground car park.

St James's said the scheme would create up to 1,000 jobs.

It would require the demolition of New England House and Vantage Point and a new transport system.

Project leader James Hepburn said: "The feedback from the public so far has been fantastic. Our learning curve is continuing and will help influence our design team to create something special and distinctive for Brighton."

Campaigners unhappy with the proposals are holding a public meeting tonight, Tuesday 22 July, at Calvary Church, Viaduct Road, 7–9pm. anotherlondonroad@googlemail.com

Pirates of Hove Park Children dress up to celebrate the opening of the newly refurbished Hove Park playground Pirates and princesses descended in all their finery on Hove Park playground recently. Youngsters were asked to dress up as pirates and princesses to celebrate the opening of the refurbished children’s playground.

The new-look playground has been designed following consultation with park users and it now has exciting new equipment, including an aerial runway, basket swing, sandpits and roundabouts.

There’s also more room to play games and enjoy a picnic. It was officially opened by Brighton and Hove’s mayor, Councillor Garry Peltzer Dunn.

Children trying out the playground on the opening day gave it the thumbs up – and many more will have the chance to enjoy it over the school holidays The playground redevelopment was funded through money provided by the City Park development, which replaced the 12 latest 7

Alliance and Leicester building next to the park, as part of a planning agreement.

It adds to the extensive range of facilities in what is one of the city’s most popular parks. Hove Park also has tennis courts, a café, climbing boulder, sports pitches, a miniature railway (operating on certain weekends), and acres of space for leisurely games and walks and picnics.

The opening of the new playground in Hove Park will be followed by the refurbishment of Hollingbury Park playground that is due to reopen in the summer holidays. Councillor Geoffrey Theobald, cabinet member for Environment said: “We are delighted to be able to open this wonderful new playground just in time for the school summer holidays.“ Councillors and officers are working on a programme of further refurbishment for other playgrounds in the city.

If you would like to comment on these stories please email news@thelatest.co.uk

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7/17/08

4:07 PM

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LATESTNEWS Phil Mills examines new scientific research which looks at how snails could shed light on ageing diseases

Snail trial

latest 7

Brighton scientists are close to unlocking the mysteries of the human ageing process thanks to help from a creature swimming in British ponds.

They believe the lymnaea stagnalis, or common pond snail, will also help provide treatments for diseases afflicting the elderly, including dementia and Alzheimer’s.

The snail’s brain has 20,000 cells compared to the human’s 1,000 million, and while the make-up and functions are similar, the snail’s smaller and simpler brain makes it much easier to study.

There are tanks filled with snails being fed on lettuce at the University of Brighton where Dr Mark Yeoman is studying brain functions associated with eating habits and the difficulties older snails have swallowing food, a problem often experienced by elderly people.

He is also giving the snails flavouring found in pear drop sweets, amyl acetate, plus their normal food, so the creatures get to associate the taste with feeding.

Senile snails forget the association and Dr Yeoman is studying why.

He said: “Find the answer and you are a step closer to discovering why human memory falters, and you are closer to finding drugs that could repair the mechanism or delay its deterioration. “We have identified a number of changes associated with poor memory and we are now looking at manipulating these changes to restore memory.”

The research was among dozens of projects presented last week at the Hilton Metropole Hotel, Brighton, during the annual meeting of the British Society for Research on Ageing.

Taking part was Dr Yeoman’s colleague, Dr Richard Faragher, director of strategic promotion of ageing research capacity, a network of top biologists, chemists and designers looking for ways to make later life better.

With Age Concern predicting there will be 50 per cent more people over 65 in 2030 than there were in 1995, Dr Faragher said: “If we can reduce dependency among older people by just one per cent per annum

NEWS

“The snail’s smaller brain makes it easier to study“ then we will save literally billions of pounds on the costs of long-term care.

“Far more importantly, we will be able to make sure that older people continue to live independently in good health in their own homes.”

He believes the degeneration of the mind suffered by people today may soon be a thing of the past, and that old age will be free of diseases that make life unhappy and painful.

Dr Faragher and colleagues are studying Werner’s syndrome, which causes premature ageing and have identified a molecule which can tackle the disease, which could lead to a cure.

That is one exciting line of research, and there are others.Cardiovascular disease, some cancers, osteoporosis and Alzheimer’s are diseases Dr Faragher believes could be prevented or cured.

He said: “These diseases all stem from common processes and by studying the causes of ageing, you are looking at the root causes of many of these diseases – and ways to prevent them.”

Naughty or nice?

An exhibition of erotic art is raising summer temperatures in Brighton amid claims that it is corrupting public morals.

The organisers of the “Anything From Nude to Naughty” exhibition have been asked to remove some pictures from the window of the Impure Art gallery.

One woman standing outside the gallery said the display should be banned. Anne Robertson, 50-year-old mother of two, said: “It verges on the pornographic and I just don’t see why it should be allowed in the public domain.”

She was particularly upset by a painting showing two dogs fornicating.

Nic Ramsey, who co-runs the Impure Art gallery in Brighton, said: “That particular painting is a scene people could see in parks anywhere. It’s what dogs do.

“It is strange it has caused more fuss than those showing human activity – we

have pictures of bondage and one of a skeleton making love to a woman.”

Mary Mears, Brighton and Hove City Council leader, said: “I have seen some of the pictures and I have no view one way or another, other than to say the city has always been a bit different.”

Sculptor Jamie McCartney, who co-runs the gallery in Ship Street Gardens, said: “We’ve had several people wanting to censor the display or for us to remove some of the exhibits from the window.

“I really don’t know why because, after all, this is Brighton. It has always been a bit seedy and risqué – the Prince Regent built the Royal Pavilion here as a knocking shop.

“As someone said, Brighton is a town that looks like it is helping police with its inquiries.

“But there is something else. People are buying erotic art and are displaying it

proudly in their homes as a statement and to act as a talking point.

“If you are invited into their homes then it means they think you are liberal-minded too.”

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014_LS382_Tempest

18/7/08

1:54 PM

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7/17/08

11:26 AM

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COVERFEATURE

Film Knight

competition

The Dark Knight lands at the Duke of York’s The Dark Knight arrives at The Duke of York’s Picturehouse with two spectacular events: a midnight ‘first‘ screening on Thursday 24 July, a fancy dress extravaganza with great prizes for the best dressed; and a charity red carpet glitzy premiere on Friday 25 July at 6pm. Sponsored by Southern FM and in aid of Help a Local Child. This gala screening includes a free welcome drink, free chocolate, a raffle, a fancy dress competition and of course the long-awaited film itself.

The newly refurbished Duke of York’s is the best place in Brighton to see not only The Dark Knight, but any film. Experience the brand new luxury balcony box with a collection of three and two-seater sofas, armchairs and comfy cinema seats, with ample leg room and fantastic sightlines and table space for drinks and snacks. Going to the movies has never been more comfortable.

Exclusively in Brighton, The Dark Knight will be presented in high definition digital format, with enhanced sound and vision quality. Add to that the best customer service in town; a wide-range of wines and beers you can take into the fully licensed auditorium; organic and fairtrade espresso drinks; delicious sweet and savoury organic snacks; ice creams and soft drinks; and you’ll find no reason to ever return to the multiplex!

The Duke of York’s is, as always, committed to a wide variety of programming, including the best of Hollywood filmmaking (such as The Dark Knight) but also quality documentary films (Man on a Wire, August 8), intelligent blockbusters (Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, August 22) world-class arthouse (The Banishment, August 15) and British filmmakers (SOMERS TOWN, September 5). It’s not just films you can enjoy at the Duke’s: check out the full programme of live opera, ballet, live music, comedy, events and access to filmmakers and actors for Q&As. A visit to the Duke’s is more than just a night out at the cinema, it’s an experience to remember. So whether you’re going there for The Dark Knight or any of the other fantastic films and events this summer, don’t delay in discovering a different way of going to the movies.

To book call 0871 704 2056 or visit www.picturehouses.co.uk Duke of York’s Picturehouse, Preston Circus, Brighton.

Dark Knight film goodies Batman returns with a new nemesis...

The follow-up to the action hit Batman Begins, The Dark Knight reunites director Christopher Nolan and star Christian Bale, who reprises the role of Batman/Bruce Wayne in his continuing war on crime.

With the help of Lieutenant Jim Gordon and District Attorney Harvey Dent, Batman sets out to destroy organised crime in Gotham for good. The triumvirate proves to be effective, but they soon find themselves prey to a rising criminal mastermind – The Joker – who thrusts Gotham into anarchy and forces the Dark Knight ever closer to crossing the fine line between hero and vigilante.

Academy Award nominee, the late Heath Ledger, stars as the arch-villain The Joker, and Aaron Eckhart plays District Attorney Harvey Dent. Maggie Gyllenhaal joins the cast in the role of Rachel Dawes. Returning from Batman Begins are Gary Oldman as Lieutenant Jim Gordon, Oscar-winner Michael Caine (The Cider House Rules) as Alfred and Oscar winner Morgan Freeman (Million Dollar Baby) as Lucius Fox. The Dark Knight will be distributed worldwide in theatres and IMAX by Warner Bros. Pictures, a Warner Bros. Entertainment Company. See more at www.thedarkknightmovie.co.uk.

Win The Dark Knight tickets and film merchandise Latest 7 have teamed up with the Duke of York’s Cinema and Warner Brothers to celebrate the release of The Dark Knight with a fantastic reader giveaway. Two lucky winners will each receive a Dark Knight goody bag, which contains a Tshirt, cap, keyring, pen and journal, plus a pair of tickets to see The Dark Knight at the Duke of York’s with a complimentary drink.

The winners will also receive cinema membership (worth £56) for two meaning you’re entitled to some great offers!

For your chance to win, tell us: What is the name of the sprawling, skyscraper-lined city where The Dark Knight is set?

A) Emerald City, B) Gotham City, C) New York City Competition terms and conditions: Send your answer to competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘Batman’ in the subject box. Leave your answer A, B or C along with your name, contact address and telephone number. The closing date for entries is Thursday 7 August 2008. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine.

Entrants must be aged 16 or over. The winner will be selected at random from correct entries and notified after the closing date. Closing date for entries: Thursday 7 August 2008.

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016_LS382_letters/sport

7/18/08

10:21 AM

Page 2

LATESTSPORT

Letters

Latest Sport

Send your comments to

Round ups and rumblings from the Latest Sports Bunker

letters@thelatest.co.uk

Inhuman League Latest Sport‘s Joe Curtin comments on the lack of protection afforded to football’s smaller clubs

Bungee time again Calling all daredevils! In the past few years Bungee on the Beach has become one of the premier events on Brighton and Hove seafront during the summer months. This year it takes place on 26 and 27 July on Hove Lawns.

The event offers all Brightonians the chance to have a truly amazing experience while raising money for Rockinghorse, a local charity that makes life better for ill, injured and disabled children in hospital. Even if you don’t have children yourself, chances are that you’ll know someone who does, so you’ll be helping them while giving yourself an exhilarating challenge of a lifetime.

We still have places left for intrepid jumpers. It costs just £10 to reserve your place and we ask all participants to raise an additional £100 by collecting sponsorship from friends and family. It shouldn’t be too difficult (after all, you’ll be leaping headfirst from a 170 foot bungee crane!), but to make it easier we’ll give you a month after the event to collect all the money you need.

Places are limited so to grab your spot, or for more information, please call me on 01273 730286. Happy jumping!

Jade McShane, Rockinghorse

The pointlessness of war I completely agree with Dani’s article about the utter ridiculousness of war. I, along with Dani, cannot see any reason or positive outcome of this war. Nothing good ever seems to be happening, so quite simply, what is the point?

As Dani said, we are going round and round in circles, trying to find a reasonable explanation for getting both our country and other countries into this mess. And have we found one? I think not. Instead servicemen are being violently killed, families are left in mourning, and our government seems pretty much blind to the whole negative side of this subject, as they either can’t see the problem or more likely, refuse to acknowledge it.

There has been so many wars on this earth, brutal war after brutal war, and each time the countries involved are left slowly to recover, building the economy, the houses, the people back up again. And for what? It seems to all be in preparation for the next one. The next loss of life and loved ones. Each time no one learns their lesson, and so it appears things will most probably continue on like this forever more, each time we build things back up, only to be then again broken.

Laura Hayward, Fiveways

You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

16 latest 7

Simon Jordan, chair of Crystal Palace and a man never considered the sensitive type, has revealed he is to sell up because of, as he sees it, a lack of protection afforded to the smaller, less glamorous clubs. The mobile phones millionaire revealed that his increasing disillusionment with the game reached breaking point when the much-fancied 16-year-old, John Bostock, a product of the Palace academy, was adjudged by a Football League tribunal to be worth £700,000. Jordan wanted £2million, plus up to another £2.5million awarded on an appearance basis from Spurs.

This has come in the same week that Nick Owen, prospective owner of Luton Town censured the Football League for its 20-point punishment of the club for failing to agree a Company Voluntary Arrangement to repay its creditors. “We can’t believe the tribunal can be so vindictive,” Owen said.

With a 10-point penalty from the FA for agent irregularities, an unprecedented 30 points have been deducted from the Bedfordshire club before a ball has been kicked in earnest and surely spells its exit from professional football. The heavy-handed treatment by the League is punishment for the mistakes of its previous administration and is of no benefit to anyone in the game.

“The deduction of 10 points was a heavy sanction, as it was intended to be, but was not excessive as a reflection of the seriousness of the breaches and the need to deter such conduct within football clubs.

“It is highly unfortunate for Luton Town and their loyal fans that shortly after the FA regulatory commission reached its decision the Football League quite separately imposed a 20-point deduction for entirely different actions by the club,” the FA said. Unfortunate indeed.

Luton have been and are now impossibly trapped in a cycle that it may never recover from. One where relegation leads to falling attendances and consequently the inability to attract players which leads to relegation and so on. The future of the club so beloved of the late, great Eric Morecombe is under the very real threat of extinction. A death sentence handed to it by the very body that’s supposed to protect it.

Many clubs have had the spectre of insolvency loom large because of the greed of others, our own Albion just one. But now with the unprecedentedly powerful and increasingly parasitic Premier League compounding an already precarious situation it is more important than ever that the Football League protects its members. But as the recent outbursts from Jordan and Owen show, its short-sightedness is acting to their detriment, and shows yet again how contemptuously the governers of the game consider the football supporter.

‘Slave’ trade Isn’t is heartening to hear that in this era of unethical manufacturing and sweatshops that powerful figures are speaking out in genuine altruism against the appalling treatment of their fellow man. Well done Sepp Blatter, by speaking out against the “slavery” of that nice Portuguese boy, you have shown that your idiocy really does know no bounds.

Gary Hart’s Albion testimonial Get yourselves up to the Withdean this Saturday to mark a decade of service to the Albion from Gary Hart. Along with the featured game against Charlton Athletic there will also be a chance to see some former Albion legends in action.

The popular attacker joined the club from non-league Stanstead and has helped the club progress upwards over the last ten years. He is currently out of contract but is training full time with the club.

Having given his all for the Albion, Latest Sport would like to thank Hart for his long, loyal service to our local team.

1:45pm Saturday 26 July, Withdean Stadium. Ticket hotline: 01273 776992

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7/16/08

12:30 PM

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HEALTH

Masters of art Zara Baker takes on a new hair colour with professional help from Headmasters in Brighton

latest

Like most twentysomethings, I have been experimenting with hair colour for a good few years already. Forget about covering grey, this was an urge to try something different. As a natural mousy brown, my natural hair colour has never seen the light of day as I flit between light and dark with the odd chestnut hue thrown into the mix.

Part of me wishes I’d never touched my hair and left it au naturale.

But where’s the fun in that? After getting engaged in 2005, I decided to return to brown but always darker than my natural colour, preferring warm to dark chocolate shades. I used semis, but always all over, and then came my visit to Headmasters a few weeks before my wedding.

I met Fran, the colour expert and education director for the Headmasters group. I explained my plans for ‘wedding hair’. One warm chocolate brown hue with soft caramel highlights weaved underneath to add dimension and warmth. Sitting in the salon, Fran pointed out the varied shades in my ‘one colour’ hair. I had a centimetre of natural colour, but about five centimetres down, I had another line where the bottom half was darker. Once it was pointed out, that’s all I noticed.

It was a result of colouring my hair over and over, albeit with a semi, building up on the ends of my hair, making it darker than I wanted.

A colour remover (stripper) was recommended, a process I had never considered before. The treatment removes the harsh chemicals from hair colour, stripping it away to leave a fresh, even base for new colour to be applied to. As I had no bleach or black colour, the treatment was gentle. Home kits are available but a professional treatment is most definitely recommended, as they can assess your hair properly.

The chemicals in the treatment were strong, like a permanent hair colour smell that can sting the eyes. Left in Fran’s safe hands, hair was gently massaged for ten to 15 minutes and colour simply washes away.

An intensive conditioning treatment was applied because the colour remover dries out the hair. It should not be seen as a quick way to abandon a colour job you’re tired of after a few months, as the chemicals can be damaging. The colour remover is a method of taking away a build-up of colour, providing an even base for a new shade.

A semi-permanent chocolate shade (lighter than before) was applied with golden highlights weaved in-between. A toner was used to lift the highlights so they did not appear too brassy and the overall effect was amazing. After years of colouring, my hair is repaired and softer than ever with a more flattering shade for my skin tone. The colour stripper should by no means be entered into lightly, but for colour-addicts like me, it’s the wake-up call my hair needed.

Headmasters, 10 Jubilee Street, Brighton, 01273 699299

wave

Reach over 100,000 health-conscious readers across London and the Southeast with Wave, the region’s only free mind, body and soul monthly.

To advertise call Lucy Kamper on

01273 818160 If you would like to comment on this story please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk

Model city Sandra Omo reflects upon the alarming discrimination in the fashion industry I remember the time when the size zero debate rocked the fashion industry so strongly that it was all that was talked about for a whole year. The impact? Well, models now know their rights and can stand against unnecessary – I like to call it illegal – pressure to turn them into a size zero. Plus the best jobs are now readily available for those who are not a size zero.

Recently there has been this intense debate about discrimination in the fashion industry. You have to be a particular shape, height and size to get jobs, and as if this is not enough, it also helps if you are a particular race. Oh, yes. If you have not heard about this controversy before, then you just did. It has become the major thing rocking American news, other than the presidential elections, as prominent people in America have formed protest groups in New York to highlight this problem. In addition, Italian Vogue has produced a July issue that features only dark-skinned models, to protest against this discrimination. Its counterpart, American Vogue is also running an issue about the lack of ethnic models on the runways. Over here in the UK, it has become a major campaign, which has gotten the BBC’s attention so that it recently did a documentary on it, and I happened to be one of the two models featured in this documentary. It was a huge opportunity for me to talk on behalf of ethnic models all over the world, as well as to defend the fact that when it comes to beauty, it is skin deep.

“There is discrimination in race, weight, height, shape, and even sexuality” Back to the issue, according to statistics, lighter-skinned models get more jobs than darkskinned models. Also, there is the accusation that mainstream agencies put a limit on the number of darkskinned models on their books, and when it comes to the runway and magazine covers, statistics also show a decline in darker models. What is the reason for this? Well, it is pure narrowmindedness, coupled with the insecurity of some who want to limit jobs to a certain people. Let’s face it: the truth is that the fashion industry is not discriminatory by nature. No, the discrimination we see in the industry is that which has been imposed on it by some people who work in the industry. I do understand that when it comes to marketing certain products like skin care, skin types do differ so its best to use a model that falls into the category of skin type the product caters for. However when it comes to marketing fashion products like clothes, shoes, accessories and perfumes, for example, what has skin colour got to do with it? I thought fashion was universal.

I find this whole discrimination thing ridiculous, and I am not alone.

Steven Meisel, one of the most successful photographers in history, who photographed the models for Italian Vogue’s July issue, in his recent interview said: “It is ridiculous the discrimination in the fashion industry. There is discrimination in race, weight, height, shape, and even sexuality.” Boy, can it get more ridiculous than this?

I am very glad about the protest and campaigns currently going on because, just like the size zero debate, it will go a long way in teaching us that models need not put up with any form of discrimination, and that it is not OK to be discriminated against no matter where you are from. Therefore, those who are perpetuating it better watch out, as their time is almost up. latest 7 17

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Room to relax Head to Hove on Friday 25 July and meet the people behind the businesses at 30 The Drive, the perfect place to relax, rewind or rejuvenate...

The doors are now wide open at 30 The Drive in Hove, where you can find a wide range of individual services all under one roof. These include personal fitness training and nutrition advice; sports and deep tissue massage; male waxing and skincare; hypnobirthing and hypnosis; chiropody; reflexology; travel advice and vaccinations; cognitive behavioural therapy; NLP and EFT. The beautiful building is in a prime location, with easy access and has recently been renovated to a high standard. It also benefits from a comfortable reception room.

There’s an open evening on Friday 25 July, which is a great opportunity for you to meet the team, enjoy a free glass of wine and see what they can do for you. There will be demonstrations and special offers available on the night and the chance to have an informal chat and get some useful help and advice from the professionals.

30 The Drive, Hove, East Sussex, BN3 3JD Call: 01273 778123

CBT-DBT Direct

Natural Balance Therapies

CBT-DBT Direct: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)

There may be lots of places in Brighton offering massage but few that really stand out for excellent therapeutic massage and great relaxed customer service.

All Natural Balance massage therapists are trained in advance massage techniques – essential in treating back pain, injuries and poor posture. Natural Balance have had great success in treating a range of conditions, including lower back pain, shoulder and neck pain, tennis elbow and sciatic pain.

To make booking easy there are late appointments (open till 10pm Tues to Thu) and an online booking system allowing you to book 24 hours a day.

Individual appointments available six days a week, during office hours and evenings.

The following groups are available weekdays and evenings: 1 Skills For Life – Psychology for Everyone. An eight-week course that identifies self-defeating patterns of thinking and behaviour – and develops specific skills to enhance your well-being, confidence, relationships and work-life balance.

2 Recovery and Preventing Relapse. A range of 12 to 20 week courses that focus on specific problems: Depression, Anxiety and Panic, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Health Anxiety 3 DBT Skills. Mindfulness Meditation, Distress Tolerance (tolerating difficult emotions), Emotion Regulation (understanding emotions) and Interpersonal Effectiveness These services are provided by experienced CBT Therapists, Clinical Psychologists and Nurses.

CBT and DBT are recognised by the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE), www.nice.org.uk Meet our clinicians at the open evening or call the practice manager Zofia Veness on (01273) 777604 for more information.

The range of treatments includes: ❖ Sports and deep tissue massage ❖ Aromatherapy ❖ Hot stone massage ❖ Pregnancy massage ❖ Indian head massage ❖ Reflexology ❖ Waxing and skincare for men For a free consultation or help choosing the right treatment call us on 01273 771441. To book your treatment online visit us at www.anaturalbalance.co.uk Present this feature before the end of August for a £5 discount on any full price massage.

Tel: 01273 771441. www.anaturalbalance.co.uk

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ORA Fitness

Sussex Travel Clinic

ORA Fitness offers bespoke personal training by qualified trainers.

We provide training in a private studio, in the comfort of your home or the outdoors. Our aim is to provide exercise, health and nutritional advice tailored to your lifestyle to improve your quality of life.

Before you head off on your travels, make sure you have everything you need for your safe trip abroad.

ORA Fitness provides fun, effective, varied training from boxing, weight training and Pilates, to core stability and cardio exercise.

Whether you’re an avid exerciser or a beginner, we tailor your training to achieve your individual goals.

Sussex Travel Clinic are able to offer the following services: ❖ Travel vaccinations ❖ Malaria tablets ❖ Travel health advice.

We are very flexible with times which are crucial with people’s busy lifestyles. We predominantly train one on one, but couples and small group training is available.

ORA Fitness offers pre and post-natal training, rehabilitation and sport specific training, whether getting back into shape, recovering from injury or preparing for the ski season.

Tel: 07947101629 www.ora-fitness.co.uk info@ora-fitness.co.uk

The Clinic also stocks an extensive range of travel gear to help make your trip one to remember – for the best of reasons... ❖ mosquito nets ❖ travel first aid kits ❖ insect repellents.

The Clinic is a registered Yellow Fever Vaccination Centre and also offers a seasonal Flu Vaccination service.

Discounts offered to students and charity workers.

Business Travel – enquiries are welcomed from businesses requiring travel or occupational vaccinations, such as Hepatitis B. Tel: 01273 749100 www.sussextravelclinic.com

FEET FEET offer chiropody and reflexology treatments. FEET practioners are fully qualified with BSC Hons in podiatry, fully state and HPC registered and members of the chiropody society.

Chiropody A chiropody treatment can involve cutting of toenails, removal of hard skin and corns, treatment of veruccae or ingrowing toenails.

An appointment lasts approximately 40 minutes and begins with a footbath and ends with a relaxing foot massage. All kinds of foot problems can be treated, or if you ‘just‘ want your feet tidied up, and a pedicure ‘just‘ is not enough, you need chiropody.

Subrideo Subrideo provides one-to-one psychotherapy, online psychotherapy as well as training and business support for therapists.

Reflexology A treatment using reflex pressure points on the foot and ankle.

These pressure points represent all areas of the body. Small crystals in the foot are broken down and dispersed using thumb pressure.

This rebalances, relaxes and energises all areas of the body.

Tel: 01273 749100 www.sussextravelclinic.com

Subrideo are experts in changing patterns of behaviour and taking the shortest possible route to a solution in the least possible time. To do this, they use a Solution Focused Approach. Rather than focusing and dwelling on problems, we focus on identifying goals for each session and working with together to achieve them. This means that very often, clients see immediate benefit from their therapy session.

Other techniques used include Hypnotherapy, Neuro Linguistic Programming, EFT, and EMDR. Everything is based within a Human Givens framework.

We help with many different problems, whether this be an unnecessary fear, anxiety, depression, addiction, eating disorders, confidence issues, obsessive compulsive disorder and many more.

Tel: 07989 381448. www.subrideo.com

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK

Place your bets Andrew Kay checks out the steaks at The Grosvenor Casino in Brighton If I were to say that I am not a gambling man I would only be telling a half truth. I have never set foot in a bookmakers but I have been to the races and the dogs and enjoy a recreational flutter. The idea however of risking the family jewels on the speed of a dog, the gait of a gee-gee, the roll of a dice or the turn of a card is not for me.

My first ever trip to a casino was back in 1974. It was Christmas and my friend Tim, (too much make-up), asked me go with him on a date. He was seeing a rather smart Iranian girl and we were to have dinner at her aunt’s in Sloane Street.

Dinner turned out to be a huge selection of caviar, the real thing, not vile lump fish roe, and champagne. Needless to say at 18 I had never tried caviar, I had only just discovered avocados and garlic for heaven’s sake.

After dinner we were taken off by limousine. In the back – yes there was a chauffeur – auntie gave us a gold envelope each. Each one contained £100 in Playboy Club chips. Now in 1974 £100 was a serious amount of money for an art student. More cash than I had ever had in my hand.

We arrived at the club, drank more champagne and were sent off to ‘play’, I left Tim and the girl to gamble and I hid for a while before cashing in my chips for five crisp £20 notes which I filed safely away in my jacket pocket. After a dignified interval I returned saying that I had not won anything at all. Not a lie really, I simply omitted that I had not lost either.

The onion rings were also good and not made of onion pulp. Full marks went to the chips which were really very good indeed.

Ms V had a few glasses of dry white wine and I had a pint of bitter but sadly neither of us had room for a dessert. Prices were very very inexpensive and our food came in at under £30 for the two of us.

In the background there was the gentle ‘ching ching’ of slot machines and the occasional gush of coins as someone struck lucky.

Membership is required to use the facilities of any casino and to do that will require that you complete forms and produce photo ID in the form of a passport or driver’s licence. Once done though you can slip in and take in the wonders of the world of gambling, have a drink and dine at a bargain price. If you do have the urge to gamble then you can have a fully rounded night out, you may even strike it lucky, but for me it was the edible chips that won out in the end Grosvenor Casino, 9 Grand Junction Road, Brighton, BN1 1PP 01273 326514 Opening Hours: 7pm–4am Sunday–Wednesday, 7pm –5am Thursday–Saturday

“You may strike it lucky but for me it was the edible chips that won out in the end” When I was invited to visit the Grosvenor casino on Brighton’s seafront recently, I was older and wiser. I have been to many casinos in the intervening years and never as much as looked at a game with the intent of gambling. I was however immediately taken by the huge crowd who had turned up for a poker tournament. Each having paid an entrance fee they were gambling for a pot of money. Serious stuff it is too this Texas Hold ’Em and even at the feeding frenzy buffet halfway through the evening they had no time for small talk, simply scoffing and heading back to the tables. I saw the chef almost weep in disbelief.

I had taken my friend Ms V along for some fun and she was equally bemused. What struck us most of all was how immaculate the place is, simply spotless. Staff were at hand all the time wiping up and clearing away so that the place had a look of perpetual readiness. The staff are charming, not at all intimidating but more like kindly aunts and cousins and we were made very much at home.

The restaurant is a simple affair, an area off the very quiet bar where a menu of simple dishes is available most of the time. I was quick to spot a prawn cocktail and a steak combination that had my retro glands working. Ms V a fish-eating vegetarian had to look harder but soon found dishes that tickled her fancy.

My prawn cocktail was good and more than generous. The prawns were taut and tasty, I cannot abide soggy seafood. The sauce was pink and perky, no trendy diversions from a classic Marie Rose sauce here, and the bread was brown and buttered.

Ms V set about a large Caesar salad with plenty of parmesan and crisp cos lettuce, I hate the name romaine. Caesar salad is a much abused dish, often ruined by the inclusion of unnecessary extras. This one was simple and all the better for it.

Ms V moved on to a prawn curry which was rich and delicious although she did struggle removing peppers that make her unwell, her own fault I hasten to add and not the chef’s.

I tucked into an excellent sirloin steak with all the appropriate trimmings. I asked for it rare and it was reasonably rare to medium rare. It was a good size too and by that I mean not small but not too big either. The mushroom was excellent, big fat and intensely flavoured.

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If you would like to comment on this story please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk

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LATESTHOTLIST

See more at latest7.co.uk

latest hot

atmosphere both relaxing and bohemian.

For breakfast, lunch or an afternoon “tete a tete”, Cocoa is the choice for discerning Brightonians. As commented by a recent French visitor: ”Cocoa make the best croissant in Brighton, by far better than any I found in Paris.”

48 Queen’s Road, Brighton. 01273 777412

LIST

New Steine Bistro

RESTAURANTS & BARS

RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials.

They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty home-cooked food, separate evening and lunch menus and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list.

In the winter, a central open fire roars.

In summer, people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt.

59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight, plus a wine list full of treats without being expensive.

Make the most of the terrace when the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat.

1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555, www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

Sam’s of Brighton A brand new restaurant on the Kemp Town restaurant scene. Situated in the famous One Paston Place site, Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a free-range poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter.

1 Paston Place, Brighton, 01273 676222 www.samsofbrighton.co.uk

The Arrogant Frog

Santiago Restaurant Nestled between the two piers, Santiago Restaurant offers quality food and friendly service in this fantastic location on Brighton beach. Occupying former fisherman’s arches and boasting three of the historic, original arched windows, the first floor indoor restaurant gives a cosy and intimate dining experience. Now serving an exciting new menu of modern European dishes with a Hispanic influence and delicious homemade desserts. On sunny days, enjoy watching the world go by while dining on their sun terrace overlooking the beach, or in the evening come and relax in the indoor restaurant where every table has a sea view.

143-144 Kings Road Arches, Brighton Beach 01273 710031 www.santiagorestaurant.biz

CHINESE Gars Restaurant Stunningly refurbished, this old Brighton favourite has attained a new lease of life.

An exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room and enjoy the glamour of it all. Eat from £10.

19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321 www.gars.co.uk

L’Église

FRENCH The Arrogant Frog Not as expensive as you might think! A tempting à la carte and Xpress lunch is available all week. A ‘Plat du Jour’, at £9.45 including a drink, is the perfect way to treat yourself without breaking the bank. Relaxed alfresco dining is available in the garden; a sunny afternoon could not be better spent.

Enjoy the ‘Early Frog’ from 6-7pm; a threecourse meal at £13.95 is really the best value for your money! The true character of this delightful restaurant comes hopping to life in the evenings, and the mouthwatering menu is a comprehensive choice of the finest French cuisine. Children and families always welcome.

119 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721488, www.thearrogantfrog.com

Cocoa Cocoa is the cheeky new french patisserie found just down from Brighton train station on Queen’s road. “A slice of Paris in the heart of Brighton”. All cakes, pastries, tartines and baguettes are lovingly prepared each morning on the premises by French gourmet pastry chef Julien Plumart.

Front of the house is run by Jana Solfronk serving coffee, cinnamon hot chocolate or homemade lime ice tea, amongst other beverages. Intimate seating overlooking a mural of the roofs of Paris sets an

Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional home-made French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too!

Daily evening menu at two courses £10.50, three courses £12.50 on weekdays; and two courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 on Friday and Saturday (ONLY LIMITED SPACES AVAILABLE DAILY). À la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6-10pm for last orders.

10-11 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 or 695415

L’Église L’Église is a traditional French restaurant in Hove offering classic cuisine prepared for contemporary tastes. Offering a fantastic à la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday together with daily specials like coq au vin and côte de bœuf for two. Locally sourced produce includes freshly caught fish of the day and an extensive Anglo-French farmhouse cheeseboard. There is also a selection of superb French desserts on offer such as tarte aux pommes and crème brulée. Enjoy the south-facing sun terrace with the brasserie lunch menu, Tuesday-Sunday 12-6pm, including croque madame, tarte a l’ognion, moules marinières and more. And with a delicious French Sunday roast, this is true entente cordiale.

196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk, info@legliserestaurant.co.uk

INDIAN Chaula’s “The food of India, not just Indian food.”

New on the scene in Lewes and unlike other Indian restaurants, Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes: bhindi kadhi, pista chicken, lamb rajasthani, and many more, and for its distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. There is also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. They have a buffet available 11am-3pm Mon-Sat, alongside a ‘light bites’ menu. It’s definitely a hot favourite with the people of Lewes!

Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London.

There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family

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LATESTHOTLIST dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu which is utterly affordable with the signature setprice boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95.

16-17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

THAI Chokdee A premium takeaway and informal eaterie next to Hove Station where you can enjoy real Thai cooking. Chokdee serves a variety of popular Thai dishes, including tom yum soup, pad thai (stir-fried noodles) favourite red and green curries and a range of freshly stir-fried dishes, with vegetarian options.

There’s a selection of home-made starters priced from £3.95. A plate of mixed starters is good value at £8.95 and includes chicken satay, Thai fishcakes, mini spring rolls and mee krob noodles. Main courses include a good selection of vegetarian, duck and seafood dishes, and are made to each individual order using authentic Thai ingredients such as holy basil, kaffir lime leaves and galangal, coconut milk and chillis. Chokdee is licensed, with wines, saké and Thai beers. Open Monday to Saturday, for lunch and in the evening.

98 Goldstone Villas, Hove 01273 720370 www.chokdeethai.co.uk

Sabai The Thai word ‘sabai’ means comfortable, relaxed and chilled – precisely the way you’ll feel when you dine or have a drink with us. Filled with stylish, genuine Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. Browse our extensive menu of unique Sabai dishes, while sampling a cocktail or a bottle of wine from our comprehensive wine list. Try our gastronomic Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – many of which are grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners back in Thailand. Come and enjoy – or as they say in Thailand: “Sanuk”!

165-169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030 www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com

Sawadee The Thai restaurant that people love for parties and celebrations because they always give the best of times. And why not, as this well-priced restaurant pleases repeatedly with dishes we have all grown to love, and new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients, such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great sliced beef salad.

87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

See more at latest7.co.uk

COFFEE SHOPS Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with greattasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries.

A place where customers are attended to by a dedicated team of the very best baristas, whose driving motivation is to provide the ultimate ‘coffee experience’.

Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views. Everyone can find a place to sit and sip, get wrapped up in a good book, take advantage of the free Wi-Fi or just relax.

Spinelli Coffee is located in the heart of Kemp Town Village, just off the corner of St George’s Road and College Road. MonFri 8am-6pm, Sat 8:30am-6pm, Sun 9am-5pm.

Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819

Moksha Caffe Brighton Moksha is Brighton’s ultimate independent coffee shop, with great coffee made by highly trained baristas. They also have a fantastic range of fresh fruit smoothies, sandwiches, quiches and cakes all freshly made in store. Favourites include chocolate brownies, battenburg cake, pistachio and orange biscotti (gluten free) and spinach and sun dried tomato quiche with salad. Moksha is definitely not your usual high street café. Its spacious interior is decorated with the work of local artists and photographers and the specially placed lighting offers an ambience not found elsewhere. Moksha has easy access for disabled customers, is child friendly and with free Wi-Fi, it’s a must for anyone who wants the best that Brighton has to offer. Located opposite St Peter’s Church, only a five minute walk from Brighton Station.

Moksha Caffe, 4-5 York Place, Brighton , 01273 248890 www.mokshacaffe.com

Don’t miss our next Art feature: 18th November

BARS Koba Bar and Club Koba hosts a happy hour in the front bar between 5-7pm all week. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list, and of course, champagne for special occasions (or just for the love of it). The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out.

To book your private party, reserve your guestlist or to run through some ideas please contact: Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com

• • • • • •

Christmas Open houses Exhibitions Gallery opening nights Local Artists Collectable Prints Jewellery & Silversmithing

Call Marie to see how you can promote your business.

01273 818150 Ext 102

Koba

2 COURSES AND A GLASS OF WINE THE BRASSERIE LATIN IN THE LANE FISH & GRILL 10–11 Kings Road, Brighton, 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina East Sussex BN1 1NE Village, Brighton BN2 5WA 01273 328672 01273 698989 Bookings must be made in advance. Please mention this advert when booking.

Terms and conditions: Must bring the coupon to claim – one coupon up to six people.

Excludes Bank Holidays and Saturday evenings.

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latest listings Your weekly guide to what’s on

22 – 28 July

Camille O Sullivan p30

Under review Here’s our round up of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.latest7.co.uk says. Nicely done sir.

Komedia Studio, 11 July ✌✌✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle

Reg D Hunter

Reg D Hunter – No Country For Grown Men Never one to let a provocative thought go unsaid – in his Barry White of comedy voice – Reg D Hunter’s new show for the Edinburgh Festival tackles his utter dislike of the nanny state.

Whether it’s a fixed window in a hotel room, limited so much that smoking out of it becomes as much of a physical impossibility as the suicide its limitations are designed to stop, or barstaff arguing about bathrooms, Reg argues our society is making boys out of men at a rate of knots.

Very funny, jumping about from topic to topic as the new show takes form in this preview, and most of all provoking thought – whether in agreement or argument – Reg has progressed to a show title that means what it

Brainlove All Dayer What a great idea: a mini festival in the Westhill hall, bring your own booze, embrace the DIY ethos and hope the weather holds. As it didn’t, we were forced inside for most of the day, catching a selection of diverse acts, some listenable (the wonderful Bobby McGees) some deliberately deranged (Pseudo Nippon).

Undoubtedly the highlight was Pagan Wanderer Lu. A one-man electro-political-pop machine, he brought out the sunshine, with a determined performance of unlikely anthems and a finale that included pretending to hang himself in the middle of the audience. Class.

Westhill Community Hall, 6 July ✌✌✌ Jody White

Clever Peter A thoroughly enjoyable and professionally executed night of sketch comedy. Keeping the themes unexpected and always punctuated with a punchline, there was winning material from their last show – a crescendo of two cleaners getting carried away with a Lord of the Rings reenactment – mixing it up with popular new sketches – memorably a dentist with a twist.

HOT REVIEW OF THE WEEK Phil Nichol The Canadian Perrier-award winner bounds onto the small stage at the back of Komedia full of beans. This is well wishing and hienergy laughter starting as it means to go on. It’s a ‘Best Of’ mix-tape of Phil’s best bits from his previous shows, and even the familiar stuff hits the right chord. A tale of an anarchic alcohol and drug-fuelled first meeting of his ex-girlfriend’s parents (all parties indulged), an explanation as to why Scott Capurro punched him on stage (it’s okay, they’re friends now), rounded off with a sing-a-long chorus of Nichol's feel-good song ‘I’m The Only Gay Eskimo In My Tribe‘, with lots of good bits in between. This was talent mixed with expertise and experience. This is how it’s supposed to be done.

Komedia Studio, 10 July

✌✌✌✌✌

Victoria Nangle

Clever Peter

This trio of guys have worked hard to appear effortless and deliver a close and fast-moving show, with a noticeably good score tailored for each sketch stringing it tightly together. A fun snapshot of another world.

Upstairs At Three And Ten, 12 July ✌✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle

Lollo Meier Quartet Perhaps the leading exponent of the music of Django Reinhardt, Lollo Meier is a regular to Brighton, and this kicked off his UK tour. A rather disappointing turnout witnessed this amazing guitarist lead the quartet through a dazzling repertoire of Reinhardt classics and trad jazz standards.

Reverential and a purist to a fault, the band were a little underrehearsed in places, but during the faster pieces in particular, they showed themselves via their manic head-bobbing precision to be both immensely skillful and a joyous delight.

Komedia, 10 July ✌✌✌✌ Jeff Hemmings

Rob Deering – Boobs Rob Deering has not got a breast fixation, he has more of a calculator interest leading to the title of his show. 58008 upside down on your maths mate is just one of the words he comes up with, along with 77345 (shell) and more. Which leads him neatly into a few tortoise gags.

Rob is a likable comic, and he likes to be liked – a trait the audience picked up on immediately, and which was further concreted by a bout of impromptu paranoia when he was heckled part way through. He had good gags, a likable persona, but lacked the confidence to give it the oomph the show deserved. When no longer in preview form, and with a bit of welly in the confidence department, this will be a lovely little show.

Komedia Studio, 11 July ✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle

244 Comedy Grafting for gags

24 Books Lewes poet reviewed

25 Stage Eurobeat gets top score, plus listings

27 Film Duke of York’s manager on the reinvention of a classic space, plus reviews & listings

28 Kids & Events Surfers big beach clean-up and BBQ

28 Art George Baxter at Lewes

29 Music Beachdown previewed, listings and reviews

34 Music & Club Get out there and shake something, it’s summer!

36 Gay Will Tells catches a lesbian, news & listings

38 Television Dani doesn’t understand why Big Brother is still on, plus 7-days of lovely lounge about listings

For complete and comprehensive listings go to latest7.co.uk latest 7 23

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STAND-UP COMEDY&BOOKS

A laughing matter

Write club

Victoria Nangle discovers that putting new material into a set is the graft in the dream job of being a stand-up Something that’s been bugging me of late, which I’ve done my best to pretend is not, is the transition between getting things that are funny in my comedy note pad and putting them in my set. It’s reasonably fine if they touch topics I’m already covering like being a lady of stature (I’m rather tall) or whether I am or am not smoking at the moment. But bringing together enough gags on a topic or thread to make a new impact on my set, deciding what goes together and where to put this assembly of sideways thoughts, and then if it’s even funny as this’ll be its first outing in front of a regular 100 per cent true audience, is all a bit overwhelming. Can I just keep writing more amusing one-liners in my little note pad please?

Monday 28

Poets with Sussex connections featured strongly at Britain’s premier poetry festival at Ledbury in Herefordshire at the beginning of July: John Agard; Vicki Feaver; Jehane Markham; and Janet Sutherland, whose collection Burning the Heartwood is the subject of my review this week.

There are three poems in this Shearsman collection that raised a smile for me: ‘From the Street’, ‘Variegation III’, and a wry take on the William Carlos Williams poem ‘This is Just to Say’, ‘To the Spider in the Crevice…’: ‘I have left you four flies three are in the freezer next to the joint of beef the other is wrapped in christmas paper tied with a pink ribbon beside the ironing table in the hall’ With these and a few other exceptions, Janet’s poems are difficult, even intractable, on first reading. But, as counsellors say, ‘Whoever said it would be easy’. Harnessing a mild annoyance to worry the poems a little to shake out their meaning, I suspended my judgement and quietly read the whole collection cover to cover.

To absorb a collection the reader often needs to find a way in, a key to unlock the subtexts and themes that recur through the poems. This is hazardous, in the sense of chancy. It’s easy to follow false trails, but I’d hazard a guess that underlying many of Janet’s poems is a violent assault on the authoritarian, essentially male.

In ‘Gaps’, the person addressed as ‘you’ who founded the first city, can be none other than the biblical Cain, the first murderer: ‘how you make and destroy and remold classify name and re-order’ The underlying anger also helps explain why the poems are so constrained, funnelled and compacted. Powerful feeling is mediated through poems as carefully constructed channels. Curiously, the artificial connects us to the natural.

The humorous poems indicate a comic talent to amuse that I hope Janet will explore in another collection. But they also demonstrate a number of challenges with her work. Intentional quirks of typography, punctuation, spacing and capitalisation can hold a reader away from a relationship with the poem. Is Janet being highly protective, shielding her work, only inviting in respectful poetry initiates? And is that work really that good? The spider poem is amusing, but the suspension of my disbelief gets as shaky as a rope bridge in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. How can a spider access a freezer? But, like all Janet’s work, it does deserve a second reading. Other possibilities and directions emerge. The spider as a suffering personality, humiliated, hiding. The spider as a lone gateway to the wild, to nature in a most domestic setting. The logic breaches and unconventional formatting are all at one with the rebellion against patriarchy that runs like a brilliant streak of colour through all the poems – the madder lake or azurite mentioned in the brilliantly evocative ‘Cinnabar’. Janet is good on colour, as she is on nature. Like many other Southern poets she locks into the region’s tradition of writing about nature in intricate, detailed ways.

The poems move from gardens to domestic scenes, from surreal incidents to specific things (eggs, apples, plums) and for me these poems are tremendous. All the time, Adam and Eve and the tree of knowledge are very present in one way or another. The collection’s title itself connects with the cathartic incineration of the very heart of the tree of knowledge, the root and branch destruction of a patriarchal system that’s imposed its legitimacy since biblical times, and continues to do so with great vigour.

These are carefully framed, meticulously crafted poems, full of mouth-watering words, sounds and rhythms. There are very few traditionally formed poems here but they are all very formal.

I would encourage anyone who may be put off at first, even critical of an apparent pretentiousness, to stop and read again. Like all good poetry, Janet’s gives a great return on the reader’s investment of attention. These are poems, whether strange, disturbing or beautiful, to return to again and again.

Funny Farm Featuring comedy from Luke McQueen, Chris Pacey, Tony Cowards, Maureen Younger, Clint Edwards and Dan Mitchell (MC). Farm Tavern, 8pm, £5/4.

On Tuesday 29 July, 7:30pm at the Sanctuary Café, Queer Writing South launch their anthology of new writing ‘Whoosh!’ as part of Brighton and Hove Pride.

On the same night is Horseplay open mic, with music and poetry, writing and mayhem.

Tuesday 29 July 7:30pm at The Mad Hatter, Western Road, Hove

“I go to a house party and realise I’ve got my priorities mixed up when I class it as ‘a good shindig’ when there’s toilet roll in the bathroom” Apparently not. In order to grow as a performer, and to stop my friends knowing my set so well they can recite it back to me, I really need to start pulling it all together. Anything that’s made an impact on my life and made me cross and chuckle at the same time I must examine and pull into a topic. Like walking past the flyer people and being ignored by the clubbing ones but chased by the family portrait lot.

I refuse to get older. Like going to a house party and realising I’ve got my priorities mixed up when I class it as ‘a good shindig’ when there’s toilet roll in the bathroom. I am getting older despite myself. Random thought must be rolodexed and filed so that like can meet like, and a few diamonds get to shine through on the stage. People laugh at how I describe bits of my life and view the workings of the world.

But it’s all a bit work like. Surely if you have a mind that’s set for pondering and mulling it’s not really built for organising and sorting through. This is the point where, like in any dream job, you realise there are certain disadvantages you couldn’t see through the rose-tinted spectacles you were wearing at the love-at-first-sight moment you decided this was the only way. However, once this has been accomplished (just set aside an afternoon, woman! It won’t take that long!) the buzz of new material and a show feels fantastic.

When I’ve put new stuff in it’s been fresh, and people have laughed because it was still something I felt strongly about. The new bits became my new favourites and I could play around with the phrasing and find the way that got the most laughs. It opens up a whole Aladdin’s cave of new fun to be had performing and making people happy. Maybe I should start… Right… Now.

☺

Stand-up wisdom: “A DVD commentary’s just a film with a load of people talking over it. I might as well just watch it round my mum and dad’s.” Lee Hume

COMEDYLISTINGS

Tuesday 22

Saturday 26

Chris Neill Fewer F-words than Gordon, slimmer hips than Nigella, more pukka than Jamie. Edinburgh preview. Upstairs at Three and Ten, 8pm, £7/5.

Danielle Ward in Glorious Technicolour Show about life, death and all in between.

Upstairs at Three and Ten, 9:30pm, £7/5

Sunday 27 Wednesday 23 Terry Saunders: Sitting on a Rug Where a few comics stretch their comedic and storytelling legs a bit. Upstairs at Three and Ten, 8pm, £7/5.

Thursday 24 Pete Firman When magic meets stand-up Pete Firman steps up. Edinburgh preview.

Komedia, 9pm, £5

24 latest 7

John Davies looks at Burning the Heartwood, the first collection from Lewes poet Janet Sutherland

Holland, Hume and Someone Else Edinburgh preview from two fun local comics, and a special guest. Upstairs at Three and Ten, 7pm, £7/5.

➧ For full listings go to latest7.co.uk/listings

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STAGE

STAGELISTINGS

From Tuesday 22 July to Monday 18 August BRIGHTON DOME

THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY

01273 709709 www.brightondome.org The Sun Dragon Intergalactic fairytale for children aged four and over.

• Sat 20 July, 11am and 3pm, £7–£22

01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk How the Giraffe Got its Neck Ages four plus.

Journey across the open sea in an adventure to explain how animals came to be.

• Saturday 26 July, 11am and 2pm, £6 Lazy Town Live! Live show based on the hit children’s series. Moves, music and fun!

• Wed 6–Thu 7 August, 11am, 2pm and 5pm, £9.25–£18.50

CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Meredith Willson’s The Music Man American musical classic starring Brian Conley.

• Tue 22 July–30 August, please call venue for show times, £12–£36 Six Characters in Search of an Author Luigi Pirandello’s probing drama that blurs the border between fiction and life.

• Tue 22 July–23 August, please call for show times, £25 Collaboration A composer and writer embark on an artistic partnership. Minerva Theatre.

• Tue 22 July–Sat 30 August, £25. Please call for show times.

Taking Sides By Ronald Harwood – to complement Collaboration.

• Tue 22 July–Sat 30 August, £25. Please call for show times.

The Circle The conflict of romance versus responsibility, set in 1921 Dorset.

• Tue 22 July–29 August, £12–£33. Please call for show times.

Toad of Toad Hole • Mon 4–Sat 16 August, SOLD OUT.

EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Copacabana The Rattonians’ feel-good musical of boy-meets-girl and a budding star.

• Wed 23 July–Sat 2 August, 8pm, Thu and Sat mat 2.30pm, £10–£14 Dancing Queen • Wed 6–Sat 9 August, 7.30pm, Thu and Sat mat 2.30pm, £15–£19.50 Fiddler on the Roof • Tues 12–Sat 16 August, 7.30pm, Thu and Sat mat 2.30pm, £17.50–£28.50 That’ll Be The Day • Sun 17 August, 7.30pm, £17–£20

EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Run For Your Wife Hilarious farce about a London cabbie with two wives.

• Mon 21–Sat 26 July, 7.45pm, Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 Relatively Speaking A woman’s reluctant to introduce her potential husband to her parents.

• Mon 28 July–Sat 2 August, 7.45pm, Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 Don’t Look Now • Mon 4–Sat 9 August, 7.45pm, Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 See How They Run • Mon 11–Sat 16 August, 7.45pm, Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 The Business Of Murder • Mon 18–Sat 23 August, 7.45pm, Wed and Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50

EASTBOURNE: WINTER GARDEN 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk In Dreams • Sun 3 August, 7.30pm, £16.50

THE OLD MARKET, HOVE 01273 736222 www.theoldmarket.co.uk She Stoops to Conquer • This show takes place at St Ann’s Well Gardens. Book through the Old Market box office. Wed 23–Sun 25 July, also Wed 30 and Thu 31 July, also Fri 1 and Sun 3 August, 7pm, £10/6

NEW VENTURE THEATRE 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Three Tall Women Exploring the life and experiences of three unnamed title women.

• Sat 19–Sat 26 July, 7.45pm and Sun mat 2.30pm

THEATRE ROYAL 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroya Slapstix – Cirque Hilarious Surreal comedy meets acrobatic mayhem.

• Tue 22–Sat 26 July, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm mat Thu and Sat, £14–£24 Eurobeat: Almost Eurovision (Sarajevo) Musical extravaganza as ten countries compete in a Eurovision style show.

• Mon 28 July–Sat 2 August, contact venue for show times, £15.50–£25.50 Elvis is in the Building • Thu 7 August, 7.30pm, £18–£23 Milkshake! Live in My First Concert • Fri 8–Sun 10 August, 4pm, 11am and 2pm Sat and Sun, £13.50–£15.50 All You Need Is Love • Tue 12–Sat 16 August, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Thu and Sat, £12–£23

WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Barney Live! The Let’s Go Tour • Wed 23 July 4.30pm, and Thu 24 July at 11am and 2pm, £12/10 Deadly Game • Tue 12–Sat 16 August, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed and 2.30pm Sat, £12–£17

Dix points!

Andrew Kay enjoys a bit of boom bang-a-bang pleasure at Eurobeat Forgive me for saying this but I have tired of the frenzy of fun that surrounds the Eurovision song contest – or at least I thought I had. Then came an invitation to see Eurobeat.

I like the Churchill Theatre in Bromley so I was happy to drive up for the first night and find out what all the fuss is about. Yes fuss, because this show has been getting some rave notices.

If I explain the process first, things might make more sense. Eurobeat is not a play, in any conventional sense – although the cast are all playing parts. It is however a contest, in a real sense, as each night voting takes place and one entry is the winner.

The set is truly tacky, in a very intentional Eurovision way. Just as the word Eurovision draws out the very oddest music, so too it draws out the worst stage design. This set is magnificently awful.

Mel Giedroyc and Les Dennis are equally appaling, in the very best way. Their portrayals of Sarajevo’s hosts had me crying with pleasure. Giedroyc has absorbed the pure essence of a Eastern European show-host and delivers it with an unrelenting smile that occasionally turns to grimace.

Her costumes look like she has been tarred and thrown into a drag artist’s wardrobe. Aware of her as a comedian, I was unsure she would pull it off as a actor, but she does – quite brilliantly.

Les Dennis is equally hilarious as her embarrassingly bad co-host, in a gold suit and illfitting wig. Since his appearance on Extras Dennis has attained a new status and in Eurobeat he proves his worth. The real stars of the evening are the songs.

Ten entries in all, none from France (hoorah) and all written and executed in a knicker-wettingly fine way: from cheesy ballads to weird electro op and all points between. The cast dance and sing with conviction, despite their moves and their songs being so terrible – terrible in the very best way.

Each member of the audience is allocated a country and at the end of the first half you vote by text. It’s easy and fun. After a few drinks – you will want a few drinks – you return for the ubiquitous entertainment.

Giedroyc, this time strutting her stuff in a hysterical dance number, then follows the marking with video links to each participating country.

I wanted Estonia to win and voted for them but in the end Ireland won with an awe-inspiringly awful ballad that moulded Bono with Jimmy Logan and Val Doonican, the tears ran down our legs.

If you love Eurovison you will love Eurobeat. If you enjoy a good night out you will love Eurobeat, the only show I have ever seen that actively encourages you to leave your mobile phone turned on.

Eurobeat almost Eurovision Starring Les Dennis and Mel Giedroyc Theatre Royal Brighton, Mon 28 July – Sat 2 August Mon – Thu eves 7.45pm Fri & Sat 5.30pm & 8pm 08700 606 650 (bkg fee) Tickets £15.50–£25.50. www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal

WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Glen Miller Orchestra •Sun 3 August, 7.45pm, £14.50–£16.50 Secret Love: The Amazing Kathy Kirby Story •Thu 7 August, 7.45pm, £14.50/12.50 That’ll Be The Day •Fri 8 August, 7.45pm, £18–£20 Magic of the Dance •Mon 11–Sat 16 August, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm mat Wed and Sat, £14–£17

If you would like to comment on these stories please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk

latest 7 25

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FILM 1himself. Following the recent death of his own daughter www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 22 DONKEY PUNCH (18) 9.30 FORBIDDEN KINGDOM (12A) 12.30 HANCOCK (12A) 3.00, 5.30, 6.30, 8.00, 9.00 JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH (PG) 12.30 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 10.25, 11.45, 2.00, 4.15, 6.30 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.30, 2.00, 3.00, 4.45, 5.45, 5.45, 7.30, 8.30 MEET DAVE (PG) 11.45, 2.00, 4.15 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 1.45, 5.00, 8.15 WALL-E (U) 10.30, 12.00, 1.00, 2.30, 3.30, 5.00, 6.15, 7.20 WANTED (18) 9.00

Wednesday 23 DONKEY PUNCH (18) 9.30 FORBIDDEN KINGDOM (12A) 12.30 HANCOCK (12A) 3.00, 5.30, 6.30, 9.00 JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH (PG) 12.30 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 10.30, 11.45, 2.00, 4.15, 6.30 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.30, 2.00, 3.00, 4.45, 5.45, 5.45, 7.30, 8.30 MEET DAVE (PG) 11.45, 2.00, 4.15 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 1.45, 5.00, 8.15 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 8.00

WALL-E (U) 10.30, 12.00, 1.00, 2.30, 3.30, 5.15, 6.15, 8.00 WANTED (18) 9.00 FOOL’S GOLD (12A) 10.30 FORBIDDEN KINGDOM (12A) 12.30 HANCOCK (12A) 12.35, 3.00, 5.30, 6.30, 8.00, 9.00 JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH (PG) 10.45 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.45, 2.00, 4.20, 6.30, 9.00 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.30, 2.00, 3.00, 4.45, 5.45, 5.45, 7.30, 8.30 MEET DAVE (PG) 11.45, 2.00, 4.15 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 9.50, 1.00, 4.30, 8.00, 8.45 WALL-E (U) 10.30, 12.00, 1.00, 2.30, 3.30, 5.15, 6.15, 8.00

Films showing Friday 25-Monday 28 ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING (12A) BABY MAMA (12A) HANCOCK (12A) KUNG FU PANDA (PG) MAMMA MIA! (PG) MEET DAVE (PG) THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) WALL-E (U) CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILMS/TIMES

01273 626261 Tuesday 22

Saturday 26

ROH. SYLVIA (TBC) 6.30 SUMMER HOURS (12A) 1.00, 3.30, 9.00

CURIOUS GEORGE (U) 11.00 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 12.05am, 1.30, 4.15, 7.15, 10.15

SUMMER HOURS (12A) 11.00, 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00

Sunday 27

Thursday 24

ROH. LE NOZZE DI FIGARO (TBC) 3.30 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 10.00, 12.45, 8.00

SUMMER HOURS (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00

Friday 25 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 12.05am, 12.15pm, 3.00, 6.00, 9.30

New releases reviewed

Thursday 24

www.picturehouses.co.uk

Wednesday 23

L7 lowdown

The Dark Knight (12A) Director: Christopher Nolan With the added tragedy of Heath Ledger’s recent death, this second edition in the revamped Batman franchise is darker than most superhero capers. Christian Bale returns as billionaire Bruce Wayne who, as a hobby, dresses up in fetish gear to fight crime. This time Gotham City is under threat from super villain

Monday 28 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 12.30, 3.15, 6.15, 9.15 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

0871 200 2000 HANCOCK (12A) 1.10, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30, 9.20 JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH 3D (PG) 11.20, 1.45, 4.10, 6.30, 8.50 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 12.50, 3.20, 5.50, 8.20 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.50, 2.30, 5.20, 8.00, 9.00 MEET DAVE (PG) 11.40, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 2.20, 5.40, 9.10 THE JANE AUSTEN BOOK CLUB (12A) 11.00 WALL-E (U) 12.10, 1.00, 2.50, 3.40, 5.30, 6.20, 8.10

Wednesday 23 HANCOCK (12A) 1.10, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30, 9.20 JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH 3D (PG) 11.20, 1.45, 4.10, 6.30, 8.50 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.30, 12.50, 3.20, 5.50, 8.20 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.50, 2.30, 5.20, 8.00, 9.00 MEET DAVE (PG) 11.40, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 2.20, 5.40, 9.10 WALL-E (U) 12.10, 1.00, 2.50, 3.40, 5.30, 6.20, 8.10

JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH 3D (PG) 11.20, 1.45, 4.10, 6.30, 8.50 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.30, 12.50, 3.20, 5.50, 8.20 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.50, 2.30, 5.20, 8.00, 9.00 MEET DAVE (PG) 11.40, 2.00 THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) 12.30 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 5.00, 7.30, 8.30 WALL-E (U) 12.10, 1.00, 2.50, 3.40, 5.30, 6.20, 8.10

Films showing Friday 25–Monday 28 ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING (12A) BABY MAMA (12A) CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (PG) JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH 3D (PG) KUNG FU PANDA (PG) MAMMA MIA! (PG) MEET DAVE (PG) THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) WALL-E (U) CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

Thursday 24 HANCOCK (12A) 4.30, 7.00, 9.20

WORTHING CINEMA 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Tues 22- Thurs 24 July

Fri 25- Mon 28 July

HANCOCK (12A) 2.30 (Thurs), 5.30 (Tues-Weds)

THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 1.30, 4.45, 8.00

Tues 22 – Sun 27 July

Fri 25- Mon 28 July

MAMMA MIA! (PG) 8.15 (Tue-Thur), 8.30 (Fri-Sun)

ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING (12A) 1.00 (Fri- Sun), 6.00

Weds 23 - Mon 28 (Pavilion Picturehouse) WALL-E (U) , 2.30 (Fri-Mon), 5.00, 7.15

26 latest 7

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

The Joker – played with gusto and panache by Ledger – as he wreaks maniacal havoc. With a searing narrative arc and a host of supporting players on top form, this is a Batman flick all at once slick, dark, thrilling, and socially pertinent.

Showing at Odeon, Cineworld, Worthing and Duke of York’s.

Craig Driver

comic. While trying to save their planet, the aliens encounter a new problem, as their ‘ship’ becomes smitten with an Earth woman. Clichés ensue and racial and gender barriers get reinstated as Murphy undoes all his Beverley Hills Cop magic.

Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

www.cineworld.co.uk

Tuesday 22

7 Selects

Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging

Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging (12A)

Dir: Gurinder Chadha After starting her career with a cultural bang in Bhaji on the Beach and Bend it like Beckham, Gurinder Chadha opts for an amusing look at teenage angst. The film follows 14year-old Georgia Nicolson, who lives with parents and a sister who don’t understand her. Based on Louise Rennison’s series of books, the comedy comes from Georgia’s journal entries as her friendships twist and turn and her emotions soar. This is teenage comedy made with a keen eye for detail.

Showing at Odeon, Cineworld & Worthing

Meet Dave (PG)

Dir: Brian Robbins Eddie Murphy finally goes and screws his career with this achingly trite film.

Murphy plays an entire crew of miniature aliens who inhabit and operate a life-size alien ‘ship’ which has a human form and also just happens to resemble the scatological

Summer Hours (12A)

Dir: Olivier Assayas This latest French drama from Assayas (Irma Vep, Demonlover, Boarding Gate) follows the fate of a priceless private art collection, as family members disagree on how to share it. With a suitably Gallic cast including Juliette Binoche, Jérémie Rénier, and Edith Scob, this is an intelligent account of a family at war with itself. It’s defiantly French but this is classy work in spite of all the intellectual posturing.

Showing at Duke of York’s

The Marriage of Figaro (TBC)

Dir: Jonathan Haswell This stage version of Mozart’s The Marriage of Figaro was recorded by the BBC in 2006, staged by The Royal Opera to mark the 250th anniversary of Mozart’s birth. Shown now on the big screen as part of the Duke of York’s opera season, this is conducted

by Antonio Pappano and stars Erwin Schrott as Figaro and Miah Persson as Susanna. An epic social drama and musical extravaganza this is Mozart’s most accessible work.

Showing at Duke of York’s Craig Driver

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Best seat in the house Jon Barrenechea, Duke of York’s general manager, talks to Craig Driver about the cinema’s new balcony and roof appeal After all the refurbishment and fundraising what’s changed at Duke of York’s?

Well, the balcony now seats 32 people, with a combination of two- and three-seater sofas, big homely armchairs and comfy cinema seats, all of which now have plenty of legroom, table space and clear sightlines. The 85 old, small, and often uncomfortable, seats have all been placed in the attic and the balcony’s been re-stepped and re-carpeted. It looks amazing and we’re really proud of the finished product. We had a big thank you screening of Guys and Dolls for all those who

helped put it together about three weeks ago and the response from all our customers has been amazing.

The original balcony box has also been refurbished. This private area is available for two people to sit in complete comfort and privacy.

How did all this work fit in with the fundraising for the roof?

We scheduled the refurbishment to coincide with the roof repairs, which were made possible by the contributions of over 150 individuals and organisations that helped to raise approximately £20,000 through seat sponsorship and donations. Among those who helped with a large donation or sponsored a seat were local residents and film buffs Alistair McGowan, Julie Burchill, and Lynne Truss, as well as a whole host of film fans, past and present, who took the cinema to their heart over the years.

So, has the cinema as a whole been given a bit of a makeover?

We’ve also spent a fair amount of money giving the whole cinema a face-lift, including extending our bar in order to offer draught beer, replacing the outside balcony to prevent leaks and giving the whole place a fresh coat of paint. The balcony is really just an extension of what we’ve been trying to do with the cinema as a whole. Now that we’re officially the oldest working cinema in Britain we’re just glad that we’ve been able to update the cinema experience itself to match the exciting and varied films that we screen.

Do you think this new balcony is going to help keep the cinema moving forwards then?

Definitely – you can experience all the luxury of watching a film but as if you were in your front room, only this time with a fantastic big screen and surround sound. We’ve also upped the ante on our selection of now famous home-made cakes. The balcony, and all the effort that has gone into it, is intended to help offer the perfect experience of coming along to watch a film. If you want to hire out the cinema for a private screening with friends and family or for a group booking to watch your favourite film, then this new balcony will help make that happen.

How much are the tickets?

Tickets are £10 or £8 for members. But that’s only a little bit more for a whole lot more of a cinematic experience.

Also showing…

A quick look at what’s on this week Hancock (12A) Dir: Peter Berg Will Smith plays alcoholic antihero Hancock, who, after a series of high-profile embarrassments, hires Jason Bateman’s PR person to help improve his public image.

With Charlize Theron as the woman both men want to be with, this is a fresh, funny send-up with Smith looking like a memorable antihero.

Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Worthing Kung Fu Panda (PG) Dir: Mark Osborne, John Stevenson When clumsy panda Po (Jack Black) appears to have all the markings of the ‘Chosen One’, the Kung Fu masters must train him before it is too late. Dustin Hoffman plays Po’s reluctant teacher, with Angelina Jolie as Master Tigress and Jackie Chan as Master Monkey. Ian McShane is the voice of the villainous Tai Lung. While probably nowhere near the league of Wall-E, this CGI animation should be worth watching if only for what’s described as the cartoon reincarnation of Jack Black’s character from High Fidelity.

Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

Mamma Mia! (PG) Dir: Phyllida Lloyd A young woman searches for her real father while singing along to ‘Dancing Queen’, ‘Mamma Mia’ and other hits by Swedish super-troopers Abba. Meryl Streep plays the kookie mum with Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgård and Pierce Brosnan as potential dads. The long-running and ever-popular stage musical finally makes its way onto the big screen in exuberant, highly acclaimed style.

Showing at Cineworld, Odeon & Worthing

Wall-E (U) Dir: Andrew Stanton Pixar hit pay dirt yet again with this lovingly rendered cross between 70s eco-sci-fi Silent Running and ET: The Extra-Terrestrial.

Garnering huge acclaim and bucks in the week of its release, the CGI-animation giants could have easily opted for another re-run of the cutesy Toy Story formula, but instead opt for this admittedly still cutesy, but ultimately meditative love story. Ben Burtt voices the titular cleaning robot (although there’s barely a word uttered, with expressive noises instead) charged with sorting out a polluted Earth after humanity has jumped ship.

Showing at Odeon, Cineworld and Worthing

Wanted (18) Dir: Timur Bekmambetov Wanted is the story of 25-year-old nobody, Wes (James McAvoy) whose life changes when he meets a woman named Fox (Angelina Jolie). After his father is murdered, the deadly, sexy Fox recruits Wes into The Fraternity, a secret society that trains Wes to avenge his father’s death by unlocking his dormant powers. Based on the acclaimed, ultra-violent graphic novel by Mark Millar, the 18 certificate ensures no gore’s left out.

Showing at Odeon

Nick Aldwinckle

Wall*E

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (PG) Dir: Andrew Adamson The Pevensie children return to Narnia one earth year and hundreds of Narnian years later to join Prince Caspian’s fight to regain his throne. Needless to say, the animals, dwarves and mythical beasties steal the show as Eddie Izzard voices valiant mouseketeer Reepicheep, Warwick Davis and The Station Agent‘s Peter Dinklage turn up as dwarves Trumpkin and Nikabrik and Liam Neeson returns as good old Aslan.

Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Worthing

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KIDS&EVENTS

For complete listings go to latest7.co.uk

EVENTS HIGHLIGHTS Surfers Against Sewage Beach Clean-up Surfers Against Sewage (SAS) have teamed up with Barefoot wine to launch a nationwide beach clean-up tour that will stop at Brighton Beach on Thursday 31 July.

As part of the national ‘SAS Making Beaches Barefoot Friendly’ tour, the beach clean-up team are looking for Brightonians from all ages to sign up and clean up their local beach.

The event is about making Brighton beach a cleaner and safer place that people will want to visit. It’s not all hard work mind. The beach clean will be followed by a delicious, free BBQ for all volunteers at the NIVEA SUN Yellowave Beach Sports Venue. Afterwards, volunteers, friends and family can enjoy an evening of surf quizzes and free Barefoot wine in the venue’s Barefoot Bar – everyone is welcome to join in the fun!

Starting at 2pm, the afternoon starts with a full introduction and briefing from the respected eco-campaigners at SAS. Each volunteer will be given gloves and a rubbish bag for the marine litter-picking to commence. Please remember to bring suitable clothing for the weather.

The SAS week-long tour will encourage people to get down to their local beach and do their bit to make it clean and safe for all to enjoy this summer.

The Brighton Beach clean-up with Surfers Against Sewage takes place Thursday 31 July.

A limited number of spaces are available. For more information about the campaign and to sign up, please contact Andy Cummins at SAS on 01872 555950 or andy@sas.org.uk

EVENTS LISTINGS Tuesday 22 Eastbourne’s Tea Dances Waltz away the afternoon. Ticket price includes tea and biscuits. Winter Garden Theatre, 2–5pm, £5

Wednesday 23 Brighton City Singers Sing-along in this weekly choir group meeting with Brighton City Singers. Somerhill Junior School, 8pm, £tbc.

Contact venue for details.

Thursday 24 Appearances of Fifi and Bumble from Fifi and the Flowertots Fifi Forget-Me-Not and her friend Bumble fly in from Flowertot garden to meet visitors around the Park. Drusillas Park, £tbc. Contact venue for details.

Thursday Toddlers For all parents/carers of one to two and a half year olds. Craft activities and free refreshments. Freda Gardham School, New Road, Rye, Sussex, 1pm–3pm, free

as he draws upon methods and exercises from his work as a way to strenghten our intuitive vocabulary. The Tin Tabernacle, Barcombe, near Lewes, 7pm–10pm. Also Saturday 26 July at Brighton Natural Health Centre, 2–5pm, £5

Saturday 26 21st Century Falconry Discover how captive breeding and specialised knowledge of falconers has helped save birds from extinction.

1066 Battle of Hastings Abbey and Battlefield, High Street, Battle, 10am, also Sunday 27 Ringmer Steam and Country Show Steam engines, vintage cars, fire engines, a wild west shoot out, 4x4 rides, shire horses and more.

Upper Lodge Farm, The Broyle, Nr. Lewes, East Sussex, £6 adults, £4 children, £18 family of two adults and two children. 10m, also Sunday 27

Friday 25 Intuition: Everybody’s Second Language Join Ralph Blum, author of The Book of Runes,

Sunday 27 Farmers Market Browse and buy local Sussex produce.

Middle Farm, 10am–12pm

Monday 28 Zany Zone Enter the zone for crafty experiments: crafty experiments. Build a pipe cannon, and be amazed by puzzles and weird kitchen science.

The Observatory Science Centre, 11am–4pm, normal admission charges apply, plus an extra £1 per child. Children must be accompanied by an adult.

28 latest 7

To feature in kids email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

George Baxter A pioneer of full-colour printing, patenting a process in 1835, which modern printers would recognise today, George Baxter has not been subject to an exhibition since 1967 (also held in Lewes Town Hall). Since then Lewes Town Council’s collection of Baxter prints has grown to over 550 items, and this time around several rare and unusual prints and other items will be on display.

Baxter was invited to personally attend and draw the Coronation of Queen Victoria as well as the christening of the Prince of Wales. His prints were also used to illustrate books (his Cabinet of Paintings was the first to be published in full colour) as well as music sheets, needleboxes, playing cards etc. A perfectionist, Baxter prints were all meticulously hand-made, with over 100,000 copies of some prints made.

George Baxter, Lewes Town Hall, until 2 August

ART LISTINGS BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 292882 Chinese Whispers: Chinoiserie in Britain 1650–1930 With loans from HM The Queen, national museums and private collections, ‘Chinese Whispers’ tells three centuries of stories through rare and iconic objects.

Until 2 Nov On the Pull Explore love and attraction, tender romance and the call of the wild through music, film, paintings, pottery and postcards.

Until 31 Aug Stephen Creffield: Along the Shore Photographic work taken along the south coast, from Eastbourne to Broadstairs, highlighting the dynamic tensions along the way.

Until 10 Aug

looks at what lurks around the corner on the secret streets of London and sheds light on the things under our noses that we never take the time to notice.

Until 2 August, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm

IMPURE 13 Ship Street Gardens New ‘erotic’ gallery next to erotic boutique ‘She Said that features over 40 local, national and international erotic artists including Jamie McCartney, Ray Leaning, Romany Mark Bruce, Eve poland and Pearl Bates.

Until 31 August, Mon–Sat, 10am-6pm

Q 15 St John Street, Lewes, 01273 487849 Summer Show Featuring Susan Ashworth, John Skinner, Emma Wilson, Stacey Manser-Knight.

Until 10 August, Tues–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 1–5pm

CRANE KALMAN 38 Kensington Gardens, Brighton, 01273 697096 Jeff Divine: Surfing’s Golden Age: The 70s Kodachromes Exactly what it says in the title, images from the golden age of surfing – when it was still underground – captured on deliciously nostalgic slide film, with its saturated colours.

Until 29 July, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 10:30am–4:30pm

ST PAUL’S CHURCH West Street, Brighton Temporarily Now Exhibition organised by Brighton and Hove Council’s Communities Against Drugs team and featuring artwork and photography created by people recovering from drug and alcohol problems.

Until 10 August, Tues–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 1–5pm

UNIVERSITY OF BRIGHTON INK_D GALLERY 96 North Road, Brighton, 01273 645299 Pure Evil Using dark humour and twisting symbolism to create new forms, this show

Grand Parade, Brighton, 01273 643010 3rd Dimension An exhibition of cutting-edge 3D Street Art sculpture.

Until 3 September, Mon–Sat 10am–5pm

To feature in our art listings, email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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latest music ★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★

NEWS

Down by the water

Art for art’s sake Artrock – so good they named a magazine after it. It’s been enjoying a renaissance of late, the perfect antidote to anodyne acoustic soul (Jack Johnson et al), indie-by-numbers (The Kooks et al) and all that truly horrendous, stupefyingly fascistic and seriously damaging manufactured pop dross spewing out of collective TVs and radios thanks to the likes of Cowell, Osborne and any number of dodgy impresarios. But I digress – Artrocker is the regular band nght in association with the aforementioned magazine. Richard organises the nights and this week’s looks particularly impressive, with the seriously out there Maths Class performing. A relentless force of razor chopped guitars, hydraulic drums and synths, and stop-start motion, they are serious contenders for bigger things. Also on the bill are Brighton’s instrumental post-rock artrockers Relentlesslist, Sukie and the punked up dance of headliners So So Modern.

Artrocker, Thursday 24 July, Water Margin, 8pm-2am, £5. www.myspace.com/artrockerbrighton.

JH

Beachdown is the long awaited camping festival in the Brighton area.

Jeff Hemmings checks it out Set up by Joe Pidgeon (former publisher of Touch magazine, and youth marketeer) and Darren Murphy (ex-Inner Rhythm, the original dance music shop in the North Laine and now occupied

by Ju Ju) Beachdown Festival has gone from the drawing board last year to a soon-to-be-a-reality this August. It’s the first fully-fledged music festival since Essential, which ran out of steam (and money) back in ‘02.

Aiming for a boutique style event that caters for a more discerning and slightly older audience, Beachdown has managed to secure a very impressive line-up that includes Gogol Bordello, The Magic Numbers, Jose Gonzales, Roisin Murphy, De La Soul, A Certain Ratio, Reverend and The Makers, Terry Callier, Lightspeed Champion, The Maccabees, The Beat, Bonobo and Jah Wobble. There is also a very healthy Brighton musical presence with acts such as Brakes, Peggy Sue and The Pirates, Los Albertos, Gloria Cycles, Fat 45, Mountain Firework Company, The Hat, Carnival Collective, 12 Stone Toddler and Drookit Dogs, demonstrating the wealth of musical talent that exists here.

There’s also plenty of DJ talent on offer with renowned names such as Don Letts, Mr Scruff, Andy Weatherall and Terry Hall rubbing shoulders with Brighton clubbing institutions such as Stick it On, Jazz Bop, Bust the Box and Roots Garden.

It’s not just a music festival though: like all the

very best and most popular festivals these days (Glastonbury, Bestival, Latitude et al) Beachdown is trying to create an all-round experience with comedy, literature and spoken word, cabaret (hosted by Boogaloo Stu and Fake Bush, a kids area, theatre and a Mind and Body area competing for your attentions. The organisers have also decided that the festival should be as organic as possible with almost all suppliers local.

Brighton and Sussex businesses such as Due South, Sussex Yeoman, Pintxo People and Infinity Foods will be supplying food and refreshments.

That’s not to say it’s going to be a holier than thou experience; Bushmills (the Irish whisky people) will be setting up a tepee while the Pimms Bus will be providing the quintessential summer drink all festival long.

In line with a growing band of festivals, Beachdown are promoting a ‘Leave No Trace’ policy and are trying to lower their carbon footprint by encouraging the use of their specially commissioned shuttle-bus service, working with local bus company, The Big Lemon Bus Company which uses bio-diesel and vegetable oils!

Situated on the South Downs near the Dyke, and with views down to the sea, Beachdown has a capacity of 11,000. Tickets are selling very fast, and only four-day tickets at £85 are available.

Beachdown, 22-25 August, www.beachdownfestival.com.

Gogol Bordello

Maths Class

Oxjam needs you!

Oxjam is a music festival with a difference.

Each year thousands of music lovers get involved to raise money for Oxfam. The next festival takes place in March 2009 and musicians and promoters are being asked to put together events the length and breadth of the country, in venues big, small and unusual.

Oxjam are also looking for regional managers to lead small teams of volunteers in helping to coordinate and publicise all events taking place in their region. For more info visit www.oxfam.org.uk or call 01865 472369. JH

To the hop Nick Aldwinckle braved the downpours, mud and wind to attend the inaugural Hop Farm Festival on 6 July. See his review of the one day event at: www.latest7.co.uk featuring Supergrass, Rufus Wainwright, Primal Scream, My Morning Jacket and, of course, Neil Young.

JH

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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Lightspeed Champion Lightspeed Champion Dev Hynes ditched the alt-thrash punk Test Icicles for more acoustic country flavours, and it’s worked a treat. Emerging as one of the albums of the year, Falling Off the Lavender Bridge is a mini-masterpiece of teen geekdom with Hynes as the sartorially challenged weirdo who ironically has the knack for an immensely pleasureable melody.

Wednesday 23 July, Concorde 2, 8pm

Camille O’Sullivan Well known in Brighton for her stints at the famous Spiegeltent, a brilliant performer and interpreter of Brel, Waits, Bowie, Cave et al.

Saturday 6 September, Brighton Dome, 01273 709709

UPCOMING GIGS Hot 8 Brass Band 30 July, Digital Black Seeds 1 August, Komedia Judy Collins 2 August, Komedia kd Lang 3 August, Dome Henry Rollins 13 August, Komedia Loop Festival 16 August, Victoria Gardens Martha Reeves 18 August, Concorde 2 Beachdown Festival 22-25 August, Brighton Van Morrison 19 Sept, Dome British Sea Power 2 October, Corn Exchange Sam Sparro 3 October, Corn Exchange Art Garfunkel 6 October, Dome Seasick Steve 7 October, Dome Michael Bolton 6 October, Brighton Centre Stephen Stills 10 October, Brighton Centre Moody Blues 11 October, Brighton Centre Cajun Dance Party 13 October, Concorde 2 Dr John 21 October, Dome

To advertise here costs only £20 Call Marie Viviani now!

01273 818150 ext 102 30 latest 7

The Hoosiers 25 October, Brighton Centre Level 42 30 October, Dome Hot Chip 5 November, Dome Motorhead 6 November, Dome Scouting For Girls 3 Nov, Brighton Centre Alphabeat 3 November, Concorde 2 Mercury Rev 11 Nov, Dome Katie Melua 11 November, Brighton Centre Cardiacs 17 November, Komedia Nouvelle Vague 24 November, Corn Exchange Will Young 4 December, Dome Human League 5 December, Brighton Centre Neville Staple 6 December, Concorde 2 Jools Holland 6 December, Brighton Centre Status Quo 12 December, Brighton Centre Katherine Jenkins 15 Dec ,Brighton Centre Maddy Prior 15 December, Hove Centre

Hayseed Dixie Originally a covers band playing heavy metal and rock (the name Hayseed Dixie is a parody of AC/DC) in a bluegrass country style, these ugly bumpkins can be seen as either a good three-second joke or an ultra post-modern (piss) take on the impending implosion of rock’n’roll.

Perhaps the last act of all will be a karaokestyle giant hoedown.

Wednesday 23 July, Komedia, 8.30pm Buzzcocks One of the all-time greats of punk and one of the best live acts to boot, Pete Shelly and crew were well and truly part of the punk intelligentsia whilst still capable of having a bloody good laugh. Even today, and judging by their last appearance in Brighton, these boys are capable of whipping

Buzzcocks

Hadouken! old die-hards and new fans into a freny of mosh-pitting action. Amazing.

Friday 25 July, Coalition, 8pm Salter Cane One of Brighton’s best kept secrets have ben gigging intermittingly for a few years now, regaling audiences with their moody murder ballads, tales of misery and woe via inflences that include Nick Cave, The Triffids and Leonard Cohen.

Saturday 26 July, Prince Albert, 8pm Letz Zep Now that it seems Robert Plant has so far resisted the goldmine possibilities of a fully-fledged mega-world tour with old mates Led Zeppelin, it’s back to the fertile (or is that futile?) field of tribute bands. Here’s one of them, and apparently they are one of the best.

Sunday 27 July, Komedia, 8.30pm Hadouken! Nosiy, shouty, indie ravecore outfit with a crazy following of young boys and girls, who can’t get enough of their bleeping and banging. This is sub-Prodigy, and strictly for the not yet fully developed.

Monday 28 July, Concorde 2, 8pm

The Laughing Onion Jean-Jacques Jordane “Sings Paris” for small parties

8 to 24 people 3 courses £17.95

01273 696555 If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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MUSIC REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases Hooking up with Danger Mouse (Gorillaz, Gnarls Barkley), Beck has produced the tightly assembled Modern Guilt, an hallucinogenic trip through 50s Bmovies, stripped back rock’n’roll, and 60s garage and psychedelia.

His knack for knockin’ out memorable melodies remains undiminished, though only fleetingly throughout the album; some of his ideas/songs sound half-finished.

Old-timers Stereo MCs were a pretty big thing back in the early 90s, riding the wave of the dance explosion with their funky, upbeat hip hop crossover that spawned the album Connected. They didn’t release another album until 2001 and now this, Double Bubble, a work that has much of the original musical template within it, the songs grooving effortlessly along. Still much in-demand as re-mixers, their live show has always been one of the best, and on the festival circuit they remain a powerful and popular force.

Brighton’s Vile Imbeciles certainly have a name that will obliterate potential sales to many members of the general population. Try and not let that (and the rather gruesome front cover) put you off, ‘cause within there’s a really fine arty-farty quality to there music; where Zappa meets Waits via the byways of avante-rock post American punk-style. Pretty bonkers stuff, but well-constructed bonkers. They don’t sound like they are trying too hard.

Signed to Mute, XX Teens drop their debut album Welcome To Goon Island, a work in debt to the sounds of The Fall, with decidedly noir-ish and miserable sentiments expressed throughout by lyricist/vocalist Rich Cash.

An oddity.

Aciiieeed! 20 years ago a few blokes dropped some pills and threw shapes to some local DJ on a idyllic island off Spain. Concurrently, in the USA, unlikely sounds were emanating from Chicago, Detroit and New York. Early techno soon developed into Acid with the help of a 303, and to Europeans, it made a lot of sense. There’s a big revival going on and Justin Robertson has put together The Art of Acid, a compilation featuring some of the best of the era including tracks

by Cultural Vibe, Phuture, Rhythim is Rhythim, Frankie Knuckles et al.

Even today a lot of it sounds like it’s from another planet.

Ninja Tunes are good at trip hop, UK-style funk, hip hop and out there electronica. With subsidiary label Counter Records they are trying to expand into the ‘rock’ category, and in former Ladytron bassist Pop Levi they have also found someone attempting tongue-in-cheek wacky humour and avant-pop soundbites, an overwhelming Ninja Tune trait. However, Never Never Love disappoints: there’s something about Levi that smacks of trying too hard, and that mixed in with underwhelming musical talent and a paucity of good ideas, adds up to very little indeed.

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.latest7.co.uk/chart Or hear the full chart with Jeff and Nick on Radio Reverb, 97.2fm every Tuesday 4-6pm/12-2am Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10

★ 1 Portslade – Girls and Boys ★ 2 Dates – Thief 3 Cakeboy – Damage featuring Frances Law 4 Leo Altarelli – See It Now 5 Electralounge – South Of Normal 6 Jonny Loves House – Not Just In My Head 7 Caramel Jack – Curtain 8 Mean Poppa Lean – Ain’t Nobody 9 Django Spears – No Limit 10 Cath O’Drae – Mugged by the System Very, very little change in the top five this week as Britpop-covering weirdos Portslade remain at number one with ‘Girls and Boys’. Elsewhere, retro-rockers Dates remain at two, raver Cakeboy remains at three and country-rockers Electralounge remain at five!

The only change is Leo Altarelli’s welcome return with the genre-splicing ‘See It Now’.

11 The Eric Experiment I Think it’s Impossible 12 Kiyomori None of the Above 13 Caramel Jack We Could Build Skyscrapers 14 sMs I'm Sorry Dave 15 XamXam Bu Ngen Munt 16 Digitalis No Control 17 Hatchdown Come Down Easy 18 Cath O’Drae Arcade Girl 19 Little Black Number Who is Number One...

20 Tractor Countdown Love’s Elusions 21 Friday Night Hero Our Time 22 Eminemmylou The Way I Am 23 Heavyman Tomb Kreator VS. Heavyman 24 Bastion Trust Me 25 Loc E Chemical Romance

26 The Mighty Rivals Arise 27 Project Lumino Sun 28 Chris T-T A-Z 29 Damn Dirty Humans You’re so Retro 30 bucket-joy Jaded 31 Millsy Poop Song 32 Without Warrant Stop the Machine 33 My Fabric Changes 34 ThePrjctMyhm Free for All 35 Abstrakt & Buzz Devil to Pay 36 The Pulse Used in Part 37 Afterspark Little Glow 38 Freudstein Sister Sleaze 39 She Said 200 Years 40 Ghost of a Thousand Left for Dead

16 August 2008 More than 50 top acts confirmed, including New Young Pony Club and Four Tet. Tickets are available now via www.loopbrighton.com and Resident and Rounder record shops.

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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this is elvis poster

7/17/08

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former joogleb ly erry brighton’s sexiest music bar

sexy, slim, pelvis thrusting – this is elvis at his knicker throwing best

SEX & THE CITY NIGHT

prizes for the best shoes, handbag, outfit, hair-do…

THE COOLEST GIRLS & THE HOTTEST GUY IN THE SEXIEST BAR IN TOWN latest musicbar presents

Friday 25th July 8pm £12

01273 687171

THIS IS

ELVIS LIVE ON STAGE WITH HIS NINE PIECE BAND

thelatest.co.uk/musicbar joogleberry.com

check our website for full programme

latestmusicbar week three

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former joogleb ly erry brighton’s sexiest music bar

PARTIES

weddings, civil partnerships, birthdays… …for the funkiest parties call us and book the venue for free• •subject to conditions

EVERY FRIDAY & SATURDAY FROM 10.30PM

BOOM BOOM SALOON WHERE ANYTHING GOES!

FREE LATE NIGHT LIQUOR LOUNGE

16 th

01273 687171

tuesday me & my shadow

A tribute to Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin £5 – 9pm 17 th

wednesday world music wednesdays

Pan Promotions presents Klezmer, Gypsy and Balkan with live band, The Matzos. £7/£5 – 8pm 18 th

thursday edith piaf – a tribute

Sam Chara presents Piaf, a tribute to the late great chanteuse! £6 – 8pm

19 th

friday this is elvis sex & the city

Jim Devereaux is knicker wagglingly good! £12 – 8pm downstairs followed by Boom Boom Saloon …where anything goes £free – 10.30pm till late

sunday roast ’n jazz 20 th

with Jake Goss on alto sax £10 incl sunday roast served 12.30 to 3.30pm

21 st

new summer roast menu

chris simmons & danielle gasparro

Rising star singer-songwriters fresh from their coast-to-coast American tour £5 – 8pm

monday paperfag

pride week special show

A celebration of brilliant, bold & bent animation! £5 – 7.30pm Upstairs Gay Tango Workshop 7pm

coming soon… a week of special pride shows Tues 29th July Funny Ha Ha stand-up comedy featuring Bola Anjani £7 – 8pm Fri 1st Aug Trudi Styles and Freddy On Friday. Sing along to all Queen’s greatest hits £7 – 7.30pm Thur 30th July Bright ‘n‘ queer Steve Bustin Robert White, Eric Page, Marie Vagan Claire Parker £6 7.30 & 10pm

former thelatest.co.uk/musicbar joogleb ly joogleberry.com erry check for our website full programme

034_LS382_music_listings

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MUSIC

For complete listings go to latest7.co.uk

MUSIC&CLUBLISTINGS 22 – 28 July Tuesday 22 Live Music Be My Guest + Those Damn Owls + The Offcuts Engine Rooms, 9pm, £tbc Club Chat Noir: Biel Ballester Trio Woody Allen’s fave gypsy jazz band. Komedia, 8pm, £8 End of Level Baddie Popular local indie rockers. Prince Albert, 8pm, £5 Escape to Victory Open mic Victory, 8pm, free Open Mic Duke of Norfolk, 9pm, free Sofa Sessions Open mic Belle Vue, 8pm, free Bars and clubs Audio Snide. Indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 Digital Glitterati. A classy night for student types. 11pm–3am, £4/3 Pavilion Tavern Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock, metal and emo mash-up. 10:30pm–2am, £2/1 Po Na Na Tap. Go urban with bassline, hip hop and R'n'B. 11pm–4am, £5/4 NUS Tru Cherry Drop. Student night with club anthems, classic house, R’n’B and drinks promos. 10:30pm–2:30am, £2/1 Water Margin International Student Party.

Drinks promos all night. 10pm–5am, £5/3

Wednesday 23 Live Music Allsorts Acoustic showcase. Juggler, 8pm, free The Beautiful Word Decent Brighton acoustica. Cella (Sanctuary Café), 8pm, £tbc Breakthrough with Rough Trade: Bands TBC Club night with live music. Brighton Coalition, 7:30pm, £4/3 Kong Live: Bands TBC The local promoters' regular night. Brighton Coalition, 8pm, £tbc Lightspeed Champion + The Mojo Fins Test Icicles man turns twangy, Americana type. Top support for locals, too. Concorde 2, 8pm, £12/10 Live Music TBC The Fiddler's Elbow, 8pm, free The Matzos Klezmer/Gypsy/Balkan music.

Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £8/6 Ocean Delay + My Last Mistake + Petrushka Prince Albert, 8pm, £5 OK Acoustic Live acoustic showcase. Western Front, 8pm, free Rachele Whatever Punk meets Arctic Monkeys. Juggler Bar, 8:30pm, free Sam Schiffer Engine Rooms, 8pm, £tbc The Vivians Brighton Coalition, 8pm, £tbc Bars and clubs Audio Supercharged. Mid week breaks session with Skool of Thought/Ed Solo. 10pm, £3–£5

Thursday 24 Live Music 7 Dollar Taxi 60s indie and 80s punk inspired Swiss kids. Audio, 8pm, £tbc Artrocker Night: So So Modern + Maths Class + Restlesslist + Sukie Punked-up pop and weirdo noise at this indie mag's club night.

Water Margin, 8pm, £5 Coalition Live Lounge Band TBC Funk, jazz and acoustic night. Brighton Coalition, 8pm, free Hayseed Dixie Redneck characters play bluegrass rock covers. Komedia, 8:30pm, £15 Live Music TBC Duke of Norfolk, 8pm, free Live Music TBC The Fiddler's Elbow, 8pm, free Paul Kelly Oz songwriter. Komedia, 8pm, £12 Pure Velvet: Louis Brown Motown, soul, funk covers. Alias Hotel Seattle, 8pm, free w/meal Reckless Sons + The Splendour + Wood ‘n’ Juice After their Joogleberry gig, the New York garage rockers hit Brighton once again. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Sam Chara presents Edith Piaf A tribute to the late, great chanteuse. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £6 Serotonic Rock/pop covers. Geminis, 8pm, free Sofa Sessions Open mic Juggler, 8:30pm, free Tuaca Night: The Flirtinis + Parker and the Flowing Wow + Pete Wells Live music with comedy, magic and burlesque and Tuaca shots!

Hanbury Club, 7pm, £tbc Bars and clubs Arc Dynamite Boogaloo. Cabaret capers and outrageous stage games. 10pm–3am, £3/1 Audio Mad for it. Brighton’s legendary indie night. 10:30pm–3am, £3/1.50 NUS

Honey Club Contagious. Southern FM’s Paul Hilyer plays house and dance anthems. 10:30pm –3am, £3/1 Po Na Na Off the wall. Funk, Soul and Motown from the 50s to the present day. 10pm– 3am, £2 Water Margin Artrocker. Where experimental electro meets live indie. 8pm–3am, £5/3

Friday 25 Live Music The Beach Band Geminis, 8pm, free The Buzzcocks Punk legends grace Brighton.

Brighton Coalition, 8:30pm, £12.50/10 Dan Warb Dan’s trying to break the world record for number of gigs in a day. Various venues, £tbc. Check online for details Itch Live band followed by Deviant alternative club night. Engine Rooms, 7pm, £4 Kris Dollimore Blues night.Neptune, 8pm, free Live Acoustic Lounge Acoustic showcase.

Joogleberry Playhouse, 7:30pm, free The Robot Heart + Diamond Family Archive Featuring Monster Bobby of The Pippettes. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 8pm, £4 Six By Seven Veteran indie miserablists apparently still around. The Hope, 8pm, £tbc Soul Deep Soul, Motown, northern soul and R’n’B covers. Prince Albert, 7:30pm, £3 This is Elvis A tribute to The King. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £12 Bars and clubs Arc Sweet and Dandy. Sixties night.

11pm–3am, £3 Audio 138. Skream, Braiden and Ikonika provide some massive dubstep. 11pm–4am, £tbc Digital Stone Love. 101% maximum indie rock and roll with DJ and bands. 11pm–3am, £6/5 Engine Rooms Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock, alternative. 11pm– 3am, £3–£5 Funky Buddha Lounge Thank Funk it’s Friday.

Start the weekend with Sean Quinn’s party tunes. Feel the magic. 10pm– 3am, free–£7 Funky Fish The Funky Fish Club. Soul, Funk, old skool breaks, 60s and 70s. 10pm– 3am, £5/3.50 Honey Club Hed Kandi. Spray-tans and Jimmy Choos, glamour and disco house. 10pm–3:30am, £5–£13 Ocean Rooms Somewhere in the Universe There Must be Something Better Than Man. Henron plays his usual frenzy with Justice, Daft Punk, MSTRKRFT, Hot Chip and MIA.10pm, £8/7 Pavilion Tavern Kick out the Jams. Rock’n’Roll mayhem with indie anthems, punk and alternative. 10:30pm–3am, £4/3 NUS Po Na Na Ice Box. Cool funky house night for a dressed up crowd. 10pm–3am, £5/4 NUS Tru Club Generation. Three rooms with commercial dance, R’n’B, and dollops of cheesey 80s and 70s hits. 10pm–3am, £10/8 Volks Autopsy. Bi-monthly dose of drum’n’bass darkness. Served up by Dylan, Resound, Verb, The Sith, and Resista. 11pm–5am, £8+ Water Margin B-Side. Minimal tech and filthy electro with Tiger Lily plus guests. 2am, £5

Saturday 26 Live Music Dan Sumner Accomplished local folksy singersongwriter. Ropetackle Centre, 8pm, £7 The Leisurely Gentlemen Indiefied rock. Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free Salter Cane + The Elms + Villareal Prince Albert, 8pm, £5 Supper Club: The Funky B Band Old school and new school funk classic covers. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £7–£10 Tento + The Defenders + Prevention + Pope Joan Alternative night. The Hope, 8pm, £4 Bars and clubs Arc Hold Up. Unpretentious indie clubbing.

10:30pm–4am, £5 Audio Summer of Love. Still celebrating twenty years of dance music by hosting a summer of free parties. 10pm–3am, free Brighton Coalition Spunk! Manumission DJs Tom King and Simon Young return with their freaky circus. Bearded ladies, torture chamber and monster dance. 11pm–4am, £8–£12 Digital Hat Club. Filthy house, wearing a hat.

➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory for details

11pm– 4am, £10+ Engine Rooms Crash. Rock, goth, indie, punk and alternative. 11pm–3am, £5 Freebutt L’amour Electronique. Playing a chinstroking mix of French pop, synth pop and electro pop. 8pm–1am, free Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Disco, funk, house and rare groove from Juice FM’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10 Honey Club Sevensins. Big room electro, trance and house with guests. 10:30pm–5am, £12/5 Komedia Super Dynamite Boogaloo. Who will be King and Queen of Boogaloo 2008? Fused together with the usual rock ‘n’ pop tunes by Dynamite Sal. 10:30pm–3am, £8/6 Ocean Rooms Timo Garcia. The headmaster of Berwick Street Records doles out expert electro mixes £tbc. Contact venue for details Pavilion Tavern Mod for it. Park up your Vespa for The Who, Kinks and more. 10pm–2am, £5/4 Tru Glitterbaby. Mainstream chart tunes boshed out over three rooms. 10pm–3am, £10/7 Volks Neuro Disney. Bringing some serious filth to Brighton’s underground drum ‘n’ bass scene with Utah Jazz and Zero Tolerance upstairs and Monsta below. 11pm–4am, £tbc. Devotion After Party. Earn your morning’s grease at Brighton's only d’n’b/jungle afterparty. 4am– 8am, £tbc Water Margin Logo. Future heroes to world famous DJs spin house tunes. 3am–8am, £7/5

Sunday 27 Live Music Chris Simmons + Danielle Gasparro Acoustic singer-songwriters. Joogleberry Playhouse, 8pm, £5 The Desperate Ones Quality local outfit evoking memories of Brel, Morricone and The Bad Seeds. Sidewinder, 7pm, free Free Range Open mic The Fiddler's Elbow, 8pm, free Michael Berk The Neptune, 8:30pm, free The Spirit of Gravity: Jilk & Tulin Fee + Dan Powell + Oli Mayne & James O’Sullivan Innovative electronic night, with folktronica and laptop noodling. Three and Ten, 8pm, £5 Summer Roast ‘n’ Jazz: Jake Goss Alto sax.

Sunday roast and chilled out jazz. Joogleberry Playhouse, 12:30pm, £10 inc full roast dinner The Sunday Post Free Tibet Evening Charity music night. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Sunday Roasts and Live Music TBC Duke of Norfolk, 8pm, free with meal Sunday Sessions: Live and Unplugged Acoustic showcase night. Western Front, 7:30pm, free Swing DeVille Gypsy swing jazz quartet.

Cleveland Pub, 8pm, free Toby Goodshank + Dizzy Spells Martian + Flake Brown Former Moldy Peach looks likely to fill the tiny Albert. Prince Albert, 2pm, £5 Bars and clubs Brighton Coalition Cafe Del Madre. One of De Puta Madre’s infamous free parties.6pm, free Honey Club Sundelicious. DJs Salerno and Lee Garrett play soulful beats. 10pm–3:am, £2/1

Monday 28 Live Music Born to Lose: Live Bands + DJs tbc Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Hadouken + The Ghost Frequency + Master Shortie Irritating kids with glo-sticks or nu-rave trendsetters? You decide. Concorde 2, 8pm, £14.50/12.50 Language Party Engine Rooms, 8pm, £tbc Paperfag Animation and live music queer special with the jazzy Nicky Mitchell.

Joogleberry Playhouse, 7:30pm, £5 Steve Gibbons Hard-driving, country-flavoured rock and roll veteran. The Greys, 8:30pm, £11 Bars and clubs Honey Club Disco Babe. Disco and indie with drinks £1.50 all night. 10:30pm–2:30am, £3/1 Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys. Student friendly mix of funk, reggae, indie and pop.

10pm–2:30am, £3/1 Volks Strictly Reggae. Dancehall, bashment, roots and revival. 10pm, £4.50/3.50 Music by Nick Aldwinckle Clubs and Bars by Jaime Pettit

CLASSICAL

Sunday classic The Old Market‘s popular Sunday series returns Once more the Old Market Arts Centre has programmed an exciting series of Sunday Coffee Concerts. The 2008/09 season will run from October 2008 through to March 2009.

All concerts are on a Sunday mornings and start at 11am.

Caroline Brown, artistic director of The Old Market says, “These cutting edge concerts capture an immediacy that you just can’t experience in a large concert hall.

Performed in the round they provide a unique opportunity to hear world class performers of the highest quality, up close.“ The Tokyo String Quartet concert on Sunday 30 November marks The Old Market’s 10th Anniversary concert. World-renowned Tokyo String Quartet, who recently opened the Brighton Festival at Glyndebourne Opera House, will be playing Haydn’s Quartet Op.76 No.5 in D, Bartok’s Quartet No.5, Sz102 and Ravel’s Quartet in F.

2008/09 Season 19 Oct 08 Pavel Haas Quartet 30 Nov 08 Tokyo String Quartet 14 Dec 08 Elias Quartet

11 Jan 09 Sacconi Quartet 8 Feb 09 Wihan Quartet 22 Feb 09 Gould Piano Trio 8 Mar 09 Eroica Quartet

The Old Market, Upper Market Street, Hove, East Sussex BN3 1AS, Box office 01273 736222 Sunday Coffee Concert Series £20 full price £16/12/10 restricted view, Students (full-time) and Under 22s sit anywhere for £5, 10th Anniversary Concert £25 full price £20/15/10 restricted view.

Students full-time and Under 22s sit anywhere for £5.

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LATESTGAY

See more at latest7.co.uk

Brighton’s only weekly gay guide

William Tells

NEWS

Will Harris thinks, for once, that bigger isn’t always better “One, two, three… heave!” A dark shape above me blocks out the summer sun as the third lesbian of the day comes flying down towards me. Unfortunately, as it turns out, the third one’s the charm, and it’s this young lady who crashes directly into my shoulder like a biblical curse, leaving an evil bruise that will bloom for days.

It’s a pretty unusual situation to find yourself in, assisting a gaggle of gay girls to scale the fence into Soho Square in broad daylight. But on this particular sunny Saturday there’s about five thousand other revellers trying to get into the same hundred square metres of foliage, which is why we’ve decided to risk life and limb (does a shoulder count as a limb?) to bypass the high-vis jackets manning the gates in favour of throwing each other with gay abandon over the perimeter.

Pride London. My first experience of the popular festival is something of a whirlwind, by which I mean – never being one to waste a gay metaphor – it whisks me off to a technicolour wonderland of good fairies, wicked witches and, after the second bottle of vodka, probably a few flying monkeys to boot. One moment I’m watching Boris Johnson lead the Pride parade, stony-faced, in a pink cowboy hat with fur trim.

The next I’m getting into a debate with an Eastern European rickshaw

BLAGSS members getting Pride’s 2007 float in top shape for the parade and festival in the park

The Brighton Lesbian And Gay Sports Society (BLAGSS) is now growing at a phenomenal rate as the Go BLAGSS magazine reaches an entirely new audience of LGBT people across the city. Sponsored by the Environment Agency and with a forward from Lesley Burn, director of Pride in Brighton and Hove, the magazine has become an integral guide to gay sports in Brighton and Hove.

“We know the main attractions of BLAGSS is that it offers an alternative to the bar and club scene for gay people of all ages, and all walks of life,” says Tim Rose, chair of BLAGSS. “The current issue of Go BLAGSS has not only raised our visibility but has increased our membership and shows there’s more to Brighton and Hove than bars and shopping.”

The summer issue provides a guide to what BLAGSS is doing over the Pride week, which includes free taster lessons in sports classes: ranging from badminton to running and rollerblading.

New to this summer in Go BLAGSS are skydiving, beach volleyball, self-defence classes in Tai Chi and the French game of Petanque (French bowls or boules).

Visit: www.blagss.org or call: 0845 65 BLAGS.

Do you hear singing?

Following on from their success on ITV’s House Guest show The Brighton and Hove (actually) Gay Men’s Chorus returns to St Andrews on Waterloo Street on Thursday 31 July and Friday 1 August with their Pride concert Do you hear the people sing?

Jason Pimblett, musical director said: “We were delighted our May concert was played to a packed house and an enthusiastic audience .We are now working on our Pride show. This will be one of the highlights of our year.

We plan to do it proud with a medley of great songs from the musicals, including favourites from Les Miserables.”

36 latest 7

To add to the festivities the Chorus will be joined by members of the recently formed South Wales Gay Men’s Chorus.

The combined forces of two male-voice choirs will make for some stirring tunes. David Raven will compare the show.

Tickets cost £7.50 and are available from The Iron Duke as well as the Bulldog and at the door on the night. The show will start at 7.30pm. Proceeds from ticket sales go to support various local causes and charities. The Chorus is one of the supporters of Pride and raises money to help make it the biggest free Pride festival in Europe.

peddler, who assures me he can save my mortal soul if I get in the back of his rickshaw and come to some church in East Dulwich.

“Yeah right!” I scoff, feeling like a Londoner already.

“Salvation or no salvation mate, I ain’t going south of the river for no one!”

Later on, as I sit nursing my shoulder, on the well-trodden grass of Soho Square, I start to think about the differences between Pride London and Brighton Pride.

Obviously Pride London is bigger. It covers a larger area and this year attracted in excess of 800,000 visitors (that’s roughly three times the entire population of Brighton) but, as the current state of Amy Winehouse‘s ‘hive testifies only too well, bigger isn’t always better.

I like Pride London, but, in all honesty, I like Brighton Pride more. In London it’s true they lay on a fantastic party for the capital’s gay community, but you get the feeling that’s all it is: an exclusively gay event. In Brighton it’s very different, as the whole city – gay, straight or Portslade – stops for this one day each year to celebrate what a diverse and wonderful little city we live in. I suppose the best way to describe it would be that up there they’re proud of being gay, while down here we’re also proud of Brighton itself. After all, they don’t put up fences around Preston Park, do they?

Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 153 ACROSS: 1 Scheming 5 Star 9 Shrug 10 Channel 11 Disintegrate 13 Regain 14 Grieve 17 Secretariate 20 Enticer 21 Nutty 22 Torn 23 Stalkers DOWN: 1 Sash 2 Herring 3 Magnificence 4 Nicety 6 Tania 7 Relieved 8 Danger signal 12 Crescent 15 Entitle 16 Carrot 18 Cater 19 Eyes Solution to Quick 153 ACROSS: 1 Elephant 5 Spot 9 Spurn 10 Censure 11 Backwardness 13 Bleary 14 Dealer 17 Annihilation 20 Inspect 21 Noise 22 Nile 23 Redeemed DOWN: 1 East 2 Educate 3 Handkerchief 4 Nectar 6 Plume 7 Treasure 8 Inadvertence 12 Abrasion 15 Lionism 16 Blithe 18 Nasal 19 Bend © Crossword Shop

If you have a story for Latest Gay pages please email news@thelatest.co.uk

Picture: London Pride 2007

Just do it!

“One moment I’m watching Boris Johnson lead the Pride parade, stony-faced, in a pink cowboy hat with fur trim”

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GAY

For full listings & venues go to latest7.co.uk

GAYLISTINGS 22 – 28 July

Lush and Alex Baker play girly pop and handbag tracks. 11pm–4am, £free b4 midnight, 4 after.

Revenge Lollipop and House of Diva. The lollipop girls take to the stage baked with top pop tunes from Stewart T. Find funky vocal house upstairs with DJ Hollie and guests.

10:30pm–5am, £free b4 11, 7/5 after.

R-Bar Ssh...We're having a secret disco. Kate Wildblood and Queen Josephine spin their unique blend of soulful funky house. Bar open 12pm–7am, free.

Amsterdam The Jazz Lounge. with Wesley Sebastian. Relax and unwind to the unique sound of soulful swing and intimate jazz. Food from 11am–8pm. 9pm, free.

Saturday 26

Kate Wildblood and Queen Josephine

Tuesday 22 Amsterdam Amsterdam spice. Enjoy a curry, rice, poppadom and Cobra beer for £6.99 then a Bollywood movie! Bar open 11am–11pm.

Brighton Tavern Brighton Gay Men's Chorus.

Bar open 12pm, free.

Revenge Flashback. DJs Two-foot and Lady P dole out 80s school disco hits plus student drinks promos. 10:30pm–3am, £2/free NUS. The Aquarium Theatre Bar Josh Mill's Music night. With Uncle Ben's quiz night from 9pm.

Bar open 12pm, free.

Queen's Arms Karaoke with Betty Swollocks.

9pm, free.

Candy Bar Twisted Karaoke. night hosted by Mistress of mic, Cat. DJ Rocket 9pm–2am, free.

Wednesday 23 Star Inn Charity Jukebox. Food 12-3pm/6-9pm.

Candy Bar LGBT Get Together.. Student night.

9pm–2am, free.

Amsterdam Mid-Week chillout. Unwind and chill-out. Food from 11am–8pm. Bar open 11am–11pm, free.

Prince Regent Swimming Pool Out to Swim South. Swim training session for the LGBT community. 8:30pm, £4 per session, £20 annual membership.

The Basement Play. with DJ Alex Baker.

House. 11am–4am, free.

Thursday 24 Candy Bar Big Maria's Big Night Out. Saucy drag queen DJs playing super cheesy tunes and frollocks galore. 9pm, Arc Dynamite Boogaloo. Cabaret capers and outrageous stage games. 10pm–3am, £3/2/1.

The Basement Eddie K's Jukebox. 11pm–4am, free.

Revenge Girls On Top. Popular and fabulously trashy weekly lesbian night with DJ Smiffy.

10:30pm–4am, £free b4 11:30 with passes, £4/5 after.

Queen's Arms Pride's Got Talent. Last Heat.

The winner will perform at Pride in front of thousands of people!12pm–11:30pm, free.

Charles Street Club Religion. Two floors of funky house. Hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with DJ Tony B, Mikalis and Billie. Drinks £1. 10pm, £4/3

Friday 25 Queen's Arms Andy B's Camp Attack.

Camptastic cabaret and games. Bar open 12pm–1am, free.

Candy Bar Booty Call. DJ Rocket plays an eclectic mix or urban grinds and pop anthems.

9pm, £free b4 midnight, 4 after.

The Basement Celebration. Miss Dolly Rocket presides over the ultimate cabaret. DJs Steve

Star Inn Bear Essentials. DJ Charlie. Bar open 12pm–1am, free.

Brighton Unitarian Church Brighton Gay Men's Chorus. After successfully making the final 15 on BBC 1's Last Choir Standing, they return to give the first of two shows. 7:30pm, £tbc, tickets from Dome box office.

The Aquarium Theatre Bar Food Fundraiser.

Celebrating the launch of their new kitchen, and raising funds for Pride at the same time! Bar open 11am, free.

The Basement Ignition. Ignite your life with the cool dance sounds of DJ Peter Castle.

11pm–4am, £free b4 midnight/5 after.

Queen's Arms Karaoke Party with Kamp Kevin.

Vocalists, comedians and drag (3:30-5:30pm) Party with Kamp Kevin til 12am. 12pm-12:30am, Revenge Kinky Dangerous. With party tunes downstairs and Dulcie Danger and cohorts dolling out dangerous house upstairs.

10:30pm–5am, £5 b4 midnight/7 after.

R-Bar Kinky. The early session. Stretch out for Kinky Dangerous with new boy on the block, Jozzie O playing funky house. 9pm, free.

The PV at The Jury's Out Saturday Music and Madness. Emily and Charlotte belt out an acoustic set you want to sing along to. From 8:30 DJ Aquarius takes to the decks. 12pm, free.

Candy Bar Sugar. Brighton's best girl DJs. Including DJ Queen Josephine, Hollie and Miss Annik. 10pm, £5.

Amsterdam Sun Downers. Enjoy the best beach house music in Brighton.11am–4am, free.

Sunday 27 Charles Street Bar Casino Royale. Cocktails and cards, everything but the flash Aston!

12pm–11pm, free.

Salis Benney Brighton Gay Men's Chorus.

7:30pm, tickets from Dome box office.

The Basement Embrace. With G.A.Y DJ Nick Shepherdson. 11pm–3:30am, free.

Legends Pride Cabaret Benefit. Dave Lynn and Kandi Kane host a marathon of top cabaret in aid of Pride.11am–5am, free.

Montpelier Hall Special Pride Garden Party.

'Bring your antiques for valuation' With celebrity guests, a BBQ, cocktails, and a performance by Miss Fake Bush. 3:30pm–10pm, Amsterdam Sunday Lunch. With a cabaret twist! Hosted by Connie Conway. 12–5:30pm.

Audio Sunday Sundae. DJs Richard Jones, Diablo and Kate Wildblood play a unique mix of old skool house and pop classics. 6pm, £3/4/5

Monday 28 Queen's Arms The ‘Wonderful Memories Show‘ featuring the legendary cabaret stars Phil Starr & Dockyard Doris, exclusively screened in a show lasting over 75 minutes. A fabulous trip down memory lane with songs and comedy from two wonderful performers who will never be forgotten. 9:30pm, £Donation to Pride.

Amsterdam A night of musicals on the big screen. A la carte menu available from 11am–8pm.

Candy Bar Shibby Shabblers. DJs Pookie and Crackwhore. £1.50 pints and vodka mix.

10pm–2am £3/2.

The Basement Club Back to the 80s and 90s.

DJ Steve Lush with classic floorfillers.

11pm–4am, free.

Queen’s Arms Cherry Poppin’s karaoke show.

9pm. Drink promos.12pm–midnight, free.

➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory online for details

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Dani on TV

What’s hot on the box

Films on TV

All the ruddy time, Channel 4 I have to admit that I haven’t watched any of this year’s Big Brother. In truth I only took interest in the first couple. But, in the true way Big Brother takes over the world, you can’t help but be bombarded with information about this year’s sad little hopefuls all hoping to sell themselves to the nation for a tidy sum and a chance to be on the cover of Heat magazine.

I am constantly surprised at why and how we keep having new series of this. Surely the money spent on building the ‘house’ could go to better use? I wonder what would happen to Davina if this ended? It feels as if her whole career is hanging on whether or not there will another series, where does she go when Big Brother ends?

I don’t know anyone who watches this and I am not surprised, though I do wonder who it is that watches every year. Someone must be keeping the ratings up. But do they not have anything better to do with their time?

“No matter who they put in there will always be the same kinds of people prancing round the house” Also, who is paid to watch the audition tapes and decide who is unhinged enough to up the ratings and create as much chaos as possible? Who decides how to make each season of Big Brother ‘different’? Because they are doing a rubbish job. No matter what you make the house look like or what you make the people inside say, wear, eat or drink, they are still just a bunch of strange people trapped in a house full of cameras to play up to.

When this first started it was fresh and new, it was a one-of-a-kind show that gave us the chance to see how people interact with each other when kept in a confined space. It had a great prize and got everyone talking. But now it is just a chance for some little wannabes to be given a chance to release a single, get a job as a TV presenter or marry a footballer. For some reason clips of this show will still appear on the news! Each year they create a new ‘longest ever’ Big Brother and I sit and think: “Please god, not any longer!” No matter who they put in there will always be the same kinds of people prancing round the house; the ones who love themselves far too much to be normal (there is normally more than one of these!), the stupid one who will be on YouTube being a prat for years to come, the one who fancies everyone, the nasty one (who is generally one of the ones that loves themselves too much) and the dappy crier. So in reality, no matter how many times they change the decoration each year, there are the same people in the house, all wanting the same thing and each year I (and many others) will be thinking: “What the...?”

38 latest 7

Movies on the box this week

TUESDAY 22

SATURDAY 26

Shine ★★★★✩ (1996, BBC1, 11.20pm. Dir Scott Hicks) Award-winning biography of the mega-gifted pianist David Helgoff, starring the always brilliant Geoffrey Rush. Genius but troubled star throws a wobbler, but with classical music, a great cast and a struggle to triumph over adversity. What else is there to do with the stuff?

Flight Plan★★★✩✩ (2005, BBC1, 10.05pm.

Dir Robert Schwentke) Jodie Foster, stars alongside Sean Bean in this ‘did she didn’t she?’

When a woman’s six-year-old daughter vanishes during a transatlantic flight, she struggles to convince the cabin crew that she is telling the truth about the disappearance. After a search of the plane reveals nothing, it transpires that the girl’s name wasn’t on the passenger list. Has she been kidnapped or is she the figment of a disturbed woman’s imagination?

WEDNESDAY 23

Big Brother

22 – 28 July

Dirty Pretty Things ★★★★✩ (2003, BBC1, 11.15pm. Dir Stephen Frears) Lots of awards came in for this dark tale of a Nigerian worker and a Turkish maid (always quality performances from Chiwetel Ejiofor and Audrey Tautou) as they quite literally discover London’s grimy underbelly. Bit of a thriller, bit of a social comment, good film.

THURSDAY 24 Buffy The Vampire Slayer

★✩✩✩✩ (1992, Film4, 1.10am. Dir Fran Rubel Kuzui) So bad it’s almost good. This first outing of Buffy, Joss Whedon’s much-loved stake-wealding creation, was so panned by both the critics and its writer that Whedon was spurred on to create the TV series in order to communicate what he’d really wanted the film to be like.

Hammy, corny, Donald Sutherland with a lisp and himbo of the 90s Luke Perry. Thank you for being so bad.

FRIDAY 25 This Rainmaker ★★✩✩✩ (1997, BBC1, 11.20pm.

Dir Francis Ford Coppola) Average John Grisham legal thriller starring Matt Damon and Clare Danes as the feisty Davids taking on the mighty Goliath of an insurance firm’s legal team. Plus maybe a bit of running, looking, and high on adrenaline romance.

The Shining ★★★★★ (1980, More4, 9pm. Dir Stanley Kubrick) Classic scares from this Stephen King adaptation that became infamous in both director Kubrick and stars Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duvall’s careers. The story of a young family looking after an isolated hotel in the off-season and its past catching up with them set Nicholson up in typecasters minds for the next two decades. Brilliant.

SUNDAY 27 Muriel’s Wedding ★★★★✩ (1994, BBC1, 10.50pm.

Dir Robert Schwentke) Starring Toni Collette. Sparkling comedy about an Abba obsessed frumpy girl who equates marriage with success. Has the timeless classic line: “Now, now, now – just a minute – you can't come in here and threaten brides, I don't care how unfortunate, you are!” this is the film that made stars of Rachel Griffith and Toni Colette. Classic.

MONDAY 28 Volver★★★★★ (2006, Sky Movies Indie, 5.30pm.

Dir Pedro Almodovar) A gripping melodrama inspired by the trash TV that is a soundtrack to its characters' lives. Penélope Cruz is Raimunda, a hard-working woman with a teenage daughter and a feckless, layabout husband. Raimunda's family life shatters with one terrible act of violence, and there is a secret about her late mother Irene (Carmen Maura) that surfaces when Irene returns from beyond the grave to make contact with her astonished daughters.

The Shining, Friday 25, More4, 9pm

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tuesday 22 Charles Wheeler: Edge of Frame BBC2, 7pm When veteran journalist Charles Wheeler died he was just one year younger than the BBC itself.

Having reported on more than 50 years of events, this documentary tributes a man that brought the foreign news from most of the twentieth century to our screens and consciousness. Class.

Riddle of the Romonovs Five, 8pm Everyone knows about the fall of the Tsar in 1918 – even Disney and an army of pink preteeners, thanks to the animated Anastasia. Proper history people look into whether the rumours of survivors from the family could be true, plus efforts to identify new remains and shed further light onto the mystery. No cartoons.

Britain’s Missing Top Model BBC3, 9pm There’s only one more week of this competition – hasn’t the time flown? – and this time the four remaining girls have got to pair up with some hottie male models and create a bit of passion and intimacy. Will it be more red faces than blue minds?

It’s all to play for in this disabled modelling challenge.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape to the Country 11.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.30 Cash in the Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Step Up to the Plate 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 Skunk Fu 4.05 The Story of Tracy Beaker 4.35 Roman Mysteries 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Bob The Builder 7.10 Lunar Jim 7.20 Little Robots 7.30 Louie 7.40 Pingu 7.45 Sesame Tree 8.00 Secret Show 8.15 What’s New Scooby Doo? 8.35 Freefonix 9.00 Raven 9.25 MySay 9.30 Adventure Florida 10.00 Get 100 10.30 The Flintstones 10.55 FILM: Bad News Bears (1976) 12.30pm Working Lunch 1.00 Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Living in the Sun 2.30 Castle in the Country 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Eating with the Enemy 5.15 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads I Think We’re A Quiz, Now. There doesn’t seem to be anyone around.

6.30 Animal Park Stories from Longleat Safari Park with Ben Fogle and Kate Humble. The guardians of Longleat house get a fright when a part of one of the great ceilings comes loose. Oooh, it’ll cost ya.

7.00 Charles Wheeler: Edge of Frame See highlights.

8.00 Sport Mastermind Des Lynam hosts a spin off series of the quiz.

8.30 Francesco’s Mediterranean Voyage As Francesco and the crew of the Black Swan enter Greek waters, the mainsail rips and they limp into the next port, the island of Corfu. More of an island than a port.

9.00 Jimmy Doherty’s Farming Heroes Jimmy’s in Wales where farmers use daffodils to tackle Alzheimer’s, garlic to combat the deadly side effects of cows and Kiwi science to create super sheep. Deadly cow side-effects?

10.00 The Culture Show Lauren and Mark present a mix of cinema, super-size sculpture and great music.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Imagine... Damon and Jamie’s Excellent Adventure Alan Yentob presents a documentary about cartoon pop group Gorillaz’ foray into the world of Chinese opera. Yes! 12.20am Sport Mastermind 12.50 Joins BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Goldenballs

6.05am Making It 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Friends (x2) 9.55 ER 10.55 Without a Trace 11.50 Supporting Acts 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 The Class 1.00 Will and Grace 1.25 Grudge Match 1.40 Desperate Housewives (x2) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Richard and Judy

6.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Into Thin Air: Death On Everest (1997) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 British Rally Championships 2008 10.30 Live Test Cricket (x2) 6.00pm UIM F1 Powerboats World Championship 6.30 Football Asia 7.00 LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Test Cricket 1.00am Women’s Golf 2.00 World Motor Sport 4.30 Rally Fever 5.30 Football Asia

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Tanya calls a peace meeting but Max has other plans.

Maybe they involve Kevin McCloud and a burnt out spot by the allotments. Probably not.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby City Ric is forced to choose between friendship and ambition when his pursuit of the Director job is compromised by Abra’s erratic behaviour. Like that wasn’t on the cards since the days of The Young Ones. Abra as a student, eh?

9.00 Bonekickers The high-risk exploration of secret Celtic chambers beneath the Roman Baths unlocks an ancient love story. And hammy acting from Gilly. Lucky the story’s so much fun. Bodicea, eh?

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Olympic Dreams Four-part series looking at what it takes to succeed in the world of elite sport.

11.20 FILM: Shine (1996) Starring Geoffrey Rush, Armin Mueller-Stahl.

Moving true story of a talented musician’s triumph over adversity.

1.00am Weatherview 1.05 Sign Zone: Springwatch Gardens 2.05 A Taste of My Life 2.35 Bargain Hunt 3.20 Joins BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Katie’s plans are thwarted when she goes into labour unexpectedly. Those darn offspring.

8.00 Send in the Dogs Series about police dog units around the country.

9.00 Doc Martin Aunt Joan’s angry neighbour accuses Doc Martin of killing his wife – but he is hiding a guilty secret. Pauline is on the shortlist to join the Portwenn lifeboat crew. Hang on, back to this killing stuff and secrets. Classic neighbour behaviour, that.

10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.40 Kingdom Lyle is feeling totally undervalued and Peter, realising that unless he gives him some responsibility he’ll leave, sends him off to meet an old Polish Auschwitz survivor. Beatrice insists on bonding with Gloria – who politely pretends to enjoy their outings. More tea?

11.40 Patrick Kielty’s Tough Gig Patrick Kielty gets down with a group of British rappers in an attempt to find out what makes them tick. At the end of the week, he has to perform a stand-up gig that will make his new crew laugh. Funny word up.

12.10am Bingo Night Live 1.15 Hack 2.05 Loose Women 2.55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Danny persuades Sasha to take part in a cup cake bake-off to stave off the boredom.

That’s it – from cold turkey to peppermint frosting in one season.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 10 Years Younger Nicky revisits singleton Pandora Ankers, who used to smoke 20 cigarettes a day, damaging her complexion and teeth. Two years on, is Pandora still microwaving a meal for one or have her picture-perfect face and improved style ideas helped her land a date?

9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Gordon meets Erin O’Connor to find out what models really eat. Janet Street-Porter spit roasts one of her veal calves. The recipe challenge sees Jon Snow cooking his salmon fillet dish. Wait! Slobber-time!

10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the BB house.

11.05 Reaper The Devil sends Sam and Sock to capture an escaped soul who killed President McKinley over a hundred years ago. Plus, demons don’t work on Halloween, apparently.

12.05am Bennett’s British Superbike Championship 1.05 Wakestock 2008 1.35 KOTV 2.00 Big Brother Live 4.25 Richard and Judy 5.25 FIVB Beach Volleyball

6.00 Home and Away Kane’s long list of crimes is revealed. Kirsty and Irene may end up in jail. Another fine mess you’ve gotten us into...

6.30 Wild Animal ER Parker the swan is brought in with an injured foot. Belongs to the Queen, he does.

7.00 Five News 7.15 Cricket on Five Highlights from the final day of the npower Test match between England and S Africa.

8.00 Riddle of the Romanovs: Revealed See highlights.

9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Catherine and Nick investigate a case in which a guilty man was proven innocent.

10.00 CSI: NY The CSI team investigates a string of murders revolving around an online world and apparently performed by a hit man.

11.00 Law and Order: SVU When a man is arrested after attacking his pregnant wife, he wants to have her charged with neglect – for drinking during her pregnancy.

12.00am The FBI Files 1.05 The Great Capital Run 1.55 European Drag Racing 2.20 Indycar Racing 3.10 Race and Rally UK 3.35 Motorsport Mundial 4.00 FIM World Motocross Championship 4.45 UEFA Cup Classics 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Neighbours

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Speedway 1.00pm LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 Pipeline Adventures 6.30 British Formula Ford Championship 7.00 Golf 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Poker 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Bowls 1.00 Bowls

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Speedway 9.00 Bowls 10.00 Bowls 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Pipeline Adventures 12.30 Wild Spirits 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 Speedway 4.00 Bowls 5.00 Bowls 6.00 Pool: World Cup of Pool 7.00 Rally Fever 8.00 Bowls (x2) 10.00 Golf 11.00 Pool: World Cup of Pool 12.00am Football Asia 12.30 UIM F1 Powerboating 1.00 Darts: World Matchplay

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Relic Hunter 1.00 Las Vegas 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x3) 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Road Wars (x2) 10.00 Street Wars 11.00 FILM: Star Trek: Generations (1994) 1.15am Stargate Atlantis 2.10 Road Wars

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The Real Hustle (x2) 9.00 Britain’s Missing Top Model. See highlights.

10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Summer Heights High 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Britain’s Missing Top Model 12.45am Jamelia: Whose Hair is it Anyway?

1.45 The Real Hustle (x2)

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Pop go the Sixties 7.35 Batman 8.00 Voyages of Discovery 9.00 Charles Wheeler: JFK – Legend and Leader 9.30 Charles Wheeler: Shadow Over Europe 10.10 The Armstrong and Miller Show 10.40 Copenhagen 12.10am The Thirties in Colour

5.20pm The Montel Williams Show 6.00 Coleen’s Real Women 7.00 ITunes Festival 2008 7.30 The Office: An American Workplace 8.00 Streetmate 9.00 FILM: Jurassic Park III (2001) 10.45 ITunes Festival 2008 11.15 FILM: Bird On A Wire (1990) 1.25am The Black Donnellys 2.10 Teleshopping

12.55pm Heartbeat 1.55 Pie in the Sky 3.00 On the Buses 3.30 On the Buses 4.00 Missing Persons 5.10 Only When I Laugh 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Goodnight Sweetheart 7.20 Home to Roost 7.55 Pie in the Sky 9.00 Clocking Off 10.00 Taggart 11.35 Robin of Sherwood 12.40am Maigret

12.25pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.20 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years (x2) 11.00 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.35 Big Brother: Live

1.10pm Deal or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 Hill Street Blues 4.00 A Place in the Sun (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show with Jon Stewart 9.00 River Cottage: Gone Fishing 10.00 FILM: Don’t Look Back (1967) 12.05am The Closer

3.00pm Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Make Me a Supermodel US 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Private Practice 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Ghost Whisperer 1.00 Paranormal State

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.20pm My Family 4.00 Doctor Who 5.00 Porridge 5.40 My Family 6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 9.40 Fawlty Towers 10.20 The Worst Week of My Life 11.00 The Catherine Tate Show 11.40 Fawlty Towers 12.20am The Worst Week of My Life

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.00 Coupling 11.40 South Park (x2) 12.40am The Frank Skinner Show

2.00pm Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How it’s Made 7.30 How do They do It? 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Survivorman 10.00 Challenger: Countdown to Disaster 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Countdown: The Sky’s On Fire (1998) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Spirit Trap () 11.50 Heroes 1.00am FILM: Daredevil (2002) 3.00 Angel 4.00 Star Trek

Classics

Indie

11.55am Sands Of Iwo Jima (1949) 1.50pm The Purple Heart (1944) 3.35 Road To Morocco (1942) 5.00 Julius Caesar (1970) 7.00 The Purple Heart (1944) 8.45 Castle Keep (1969) 10.35 Sands Of Iwo Jima (1949) 12.30am Cahill, United States Marshal (1973)

10.45am On A Clear Day (2005) 12.30pm 35mm 1.00 The Horseman On The Roof (1995) 3.20 Indie Close-Up 3.50 Stranger Than Fiction (2006) 5.50 Annie Hall (1977) 7.30 Brotherhood (2004) 10.00 The Duellists (1977) 11.45 Stranger Than Fiction (2006) 1.45am A Time To Leave (2005)

1.00pm Chance Of A Lifetime (1950) 2.55 Millions Like Us (1943) 4.55 The Girl Can’t Help It (1956) 6.55 One Fine Day (1996) 9.00 Zoolander (2001) Comedy tale of a vacuous male model brainwashed into an assassination plot. 10.40 Apocalypse Now (1979) 1.35am Candy (2006)

9.00am The Yellow RollsRoyce (1965) 11.35 Joe The Busybody (1972) 1.00pm Lorna Doone (2000) 2.00 Fonda on Fonda 3.00 The Cincinnati Kid (1965) 4.50 On The Town (1949) 6.35 The Prize (1963) 9.00 The Right Stuff (1983) 12.20am It Started With A Kiss (1959) 2.15 Raintree County (1957) 5.00 Julie (1956)

040_LS382_TV_Wed

7/16/08

12:29 PM

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wednesday 23 The Rainman Twins: Extraordinary People Five, 9pm Investigating the rare disorder of savantism, in which sufferers of developmental disabilities are capable of acts of genius. Often a term used in jest, it really is remarkable to see the real deal – like twins Flo and Kay, whose memories for facts and dates is phenomenal.

Who Killed Marilyn Monroe?

Five, 10pm The conspiracy death of a beauty most talked about before some photographers chased a car into a Paris tunnel, this takes another look at the facts of Norma Jean Baker’s death. Did she commit suicide? Many believe not, and have found the transcripts from meetings with her shrink days before her death. So who dunnit?

Truth, Lies, Oil and Scotland BBC4, 11pm Slightly less bloody than the Middle East’s oil, it’s been 30 years since our friends in the North starting filling up barrels with black gold, and many myths about the business emerged.

BBC Scotland News business reporter Hayley Millar separates fact from fiction as she charts the progress of Scottish oil.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape to the Country 11.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.30 Cash in the Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Step Up to the Plate 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 Skunk Fu 4.05 Young Dracula 4.35 Serious Ocean 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Bob the Builder 7.10 Lunar Jim 7.20 Little Robots 7.30 Louie 7.40 Pingu 7.45 Sesame Tree 8.00 Secret Show 8.15 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 8.35 Freefonix 9.00 Raven 9.25 MySay 9.30 Adventure Florida 10.00 Get 100 10.30 The Flintstones (x2) 11.20 FILM: Road To Rio (1947) 1.00pm Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Lifeline 2.10 Animal Park 2.30 Castle in the Country 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Eating with the Enemy 5.15 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Quiz.

6.30 Animal Park There are new faces at the park, as Kabir the Barbary lion joins the pride and a flock of hungry vultures arrive. No connection. Not saying he’s an attack lion or anything.

7.00 Top Gear Jeremy and James show off the ageing but massive luxury cars they bought for the price of a new Ford Mondeo. Meanwhile, the Nissan GT-R is given a thorough workout around Japan’s legendary Fuji circuit. NneeeEEEE-YOOoww!

8.00 Des Lynam: Sport Mastermind Spin off of classic quiz.

8.30 Francesco’s Mediterranean Voyage Francesco visits Mount Parnassus, the mystical site of the great Delphic Oracle, the greatest prophetess of the ancient world.

After Mystic Meg, of course.

9.00 Burn Up Drama. The head of Arrow Oil suddenly retires and Tom is asked to replace him. Meanwhile, a group of oil workers in the Saudi desert are murdered and Arrow Oil is served with a writ for destroying the lives of the Arctic Inuit. So the simple life of an oil baron is a myth?

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Long Way Round Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman’s round-the-world trip by motorbike.

12.00am Long Way Round 12.40 Des Lynam: Sport Mastermind 1.10 Joins BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Goldenballs

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Friends (x2) 9.55 ER 10.55 Without a Trace 11.45 Eating for Britain 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Stanley Kubrick’s Small Boxes 12.35 The Class 1.05 Will and Grace 1.25 Supporting Acts 1.45 Desperate Housewives (x2) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Richard and Judy

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 FILM: Stolen Women (1997) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Lisa notices Sam’s growing affection for Jo. He keeps it in a window-box and feeds it Baby Bio. 7.30 Coronation Street Is Rosie going to get her fingers burnt by teasing John? Losing fingerprint time.

8.00 The Bill When a fire is set off at Brendan Moody’s house, DC Mickey Webb is sent to investigate.

He is surprised to recognise Brendan’s name from an observation years before, and the case is turned on its head when he hears a desperate message of Brendan’s from the previous night. Unravelling time.

9.00 Marco’s Great British Feast Marco ’s gastronomic road trip of the British Isles reaches its climax, but there’s one dish missing from his allBritish menu – the pudding.

10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.40 Six Degrees Whitney’s dad tries to raze a local landmark which holds particular significance to Laura and her late husband.

11.40 ITunes Festival All that’s best in contemporary music at London’s month-long festival.

12.10am Bingo Night Live 1.15 Hack 2.00 Quincy, ME 2.55 Loose Women 3.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The Valentines frantically search for missing Sasha in the hope of finding her before Calvin and Carmel return from holiday. Fed up with fairy cakes?

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Location, Location, Location Justin and Deborah wanted a development project on a tight budget. Artie and Andy had the pick of the high-end property market but could not agree on what they were looking for. Watch Kirstie turn red.

9.00 Personal Services Required Thomas Hughes, a marketing director from Buckinghamshire with two teenage daughters, needs someone to supervise his au pair. Meanwhile, disability campaigner Lady Swinton needs a house manager for her 200acre estate. Either likely to be recommended by a career’s officer?

10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the BB house.

11.05 Wife Swap USA A cheerleading coach who believes winning is everything swaps places with an internet addict whose son has a fridge in his bedroom.

12.05am Adele: 20 12.35 4 Music: Road to V 2008 12.50 Wakestock Festival 1.20 Big Brother Live 4.25 Dispatches 5.15 Countdown

6.00 Home and Away Aden and Belle grow closer. Like that hasn’t been on the cards for weeks.

6.30 Wild Animal ER King the badger gets ready for release and a dangerously underweight hedgehog is found in a garden.

7.00 Five News 7.30 Massive Speed Chris Barrie focuses on sports cars, tracing their history from the Bugatti Type 23 of the early 20th century, to its modernday equivalent, capable of reaching 254mph.

8.00 Britain’s Closest Encounters Documentary series examining the most astonishing and baffling UFO stories from around the UK. 9.00 The Rainman Twins: Extraordinary People See highlights.

10.00 Who Killed Marilyn Monroe? See highlights.

11.05 CCTV Cities Series revealing real-life footage of urban crime, presented by Donal MacIntyre.

12.05am PartyPoker.com World Open IV 1.35 Major League Baseball 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Football Asia 9.30 Motor Racing: Formula Ford 10.00 Women’s Golf 11.00 Golf 12.00pm UIM F1 Powerboats World Championship 12.30 Football Asia 1.00 Live Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Total Rugby 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 Total Rugby 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Poker 2.00 Boots ‘n’ All 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.30 Sports Unlimited 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 My Family Handsome millionaire art collector, James Garrett, reappears in Susan’s life and Ben feels jealous when the two of them share a hotel bedroom. As a millionaire Jimbo should be able to afford separate rooms. D’oh!

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Celebrity MasterChef The three finalists are faced with their toughest challenges yet.

9.00 Cars, Cops and Criminals The police use new technology to catch car thieves around the upmarket streets of Chelsea. Running?

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws 10.45 The Visit Comedy. The creche has been furnished with new toys, much to the delight of Bev and Clint.

11.15 FILM: Dirty Pretty Things (2003) Starring Chjwetel Ejiofor, Audrey Tautou, Sergi Lopez, Sophie Okonedo. Acclaimed drama. A Nigerian doctor and a Turkish maid are caught up in a scam selling human body parts in London.

12.45am Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: Mary Queen of Shops 1.50 Tribal Wives 2.50 A Taste of My Life 3.20 Bargain Hunt 4.20 Joins BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Poker 12.00pm Max Power 1.00 Pool: World Cup of Pool 2.00 Golf 3.00 Golf 4.00 UIM F1 Powerboating 4.30 LIVE Pro40 League 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Golf 1.00 European Tour Weekly 1.30 Total Rugby 2.00 Trans World Sport

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Rally Fever 8.00 UIM F1 Powerboating 8.30 Pipeline Adventures 9.00 Golf 10.00 Pool: World Cup of Pool 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 British Formula Ford Championship 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 Pool: World Cup of Pool 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 Irish Greyhound Racing 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 Golf 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 10.00 Golf 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00am Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 1.00 Darts: World Matchplay

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

4.00pm Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x2) 6.00 Malcolm in the Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Don’t Forget the Lyrics 9.00 FILM: Star Trek: Generations (1994) 11.15 Inside: Miami Vice 12.15am Street Wars (x2) 2.05 Stargate Atlantis

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Make My Body Younger 9.00 FILM: Cold Creek Manor (2003) 10.50 Family Guy (x2) 11.40 Summer Heights High 12.10am Snog Marry Avoid? 12.40 Make My Body Younger 1.35 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Pop go the Sixties 7.35 Batman 8.00 Sahara with Michael Palin 9.00 The Thirties in Colour 10.00 Storyville: The Chuck Show 11.00 Truth, Lies, Oil and Scotland. See highlights.

12.00am Coal House 12.30 The Thirties in Colour 1.30 Storyville: The Chuck Show 2.30 The Thirties in Colour

6.05pm Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 ITunes Festival 2008 7.30 The Office: An American Workplace 8.00 Holiday Homes from Hell 9.00 FILM: Bird On A Wire (1990) 11.10 ITunes Festival 2008 11.40 Coronation Street 12.10am FILM: Undercover Brother (2002) 1.50 Teleshopping 4.50 ITV2 Nightscreen

1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.10 On the Buses (x2) 4.15 Missing Persons 5.15 Only When I Laugh 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Goodnight Sweetheart 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Drama Trails: Bad Girls to Cold Blood 10.00 Lewis 12.00am Agatha Christie’s Poirot

12.25pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.20 Hollyoaks 4.50 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x2) 9.05 Ghost Whisperer (x2) 11.05 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.35 Big Brother: Live 12.30am Big Brother: Live

4.00pm A Place in the Sun (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show with Jon Stewart 9.00 Father Ted 9.30 Back to You 10.00 The IT Crowd 10.35 TV Heaven, Telly Hell 11.05 Dispatches 12.10am FILM: The Killing (1956) 1.45 The Closer

1.45pm The Fix 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Private Practice 9.00 Diet on the Dancefloor 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Ghost Whisperer

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.00pm Porridge 5.40 My Family 6.20 Last of the Summer Wine 7.00 Last of the Summer Wine 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 9.40 Fawlty Towers 10.20 The Worst Week of My Life 11.00 The Catherine Tate Show 11.40 Fawlty Towers 12.20am The Worst Week of My Life

3.00pm Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 The Sarah Silverman Programme (x2) 12.50 Badly Dubbed Porn (x2) 1.50 Sexy Cam

3.00pm Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How it’s Made 7.30 How do They do It? 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 Elite Forces 10.00 Rome: Power and Glory 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA: Missing Persons Unit

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Not My Life (2006) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Solar Attack (2005) 11.50 Heroes 12.50am FILM: Idle Hands (1999) 3.00 Flash Gordon 4.00 Star Trek

Classics

Indie

1.25pm Modern Times (1936) 2.55 A Place In The Sun (1951) 5.00 Father Goose (1964) 7.00 The Bridges At Toko-Ri (1954) 8.50 Twelve O’Clock High (1949) 11.05 The Spy Who Came In From The Cold (1965) 1.05am The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner (1962)

9.00am Marie Antoinette (2006) 11.05 Love Me If You Dare (2003) 12.40pm Shooting Fish (1997) 2.35 Factotum (2005) 4.10 Wilde (1997) 6.10 Nina’s Heavenly Delights (2006) 7.45 The Apostle (1997) 10.00 Marie Antoinette (2006) 12.05am Shooting Fish (1997)

1.00pm Whirlpool (1949) 3.00 Night Train To Munich (1940) 4.45 The Man In The Iron Mask (1977) 6.55 Donovan’s Reef (1963) 9.00 School Of Rock (2003) Jack Black teaches us all that you’re never too young to rock out. 11.05 The House Of Mirth (2000) 1.45am The Godless Girl (1929)

1.00pm Lorna Doone (2000) 1.55 The Mask Of Fu Manchu (1932) 3.00 Light In The Piazza (1962) 4.50 That Forsyte Woman (1949) 6.55 Logan’s Run (1976) 9.00 Shaft (1971) 10.55 The Hunger (1983) 12.45am The Prodigal (1955) 2.45 Butterfield 8 (1960) 5.00 Three Strangers (1946)

041_LS382_TV_Thurs

7/16/08

12:27 PM

Page 1

thursday 24 John Barrowman: The Making of Me BBC1, 9pm Kicking off this series of famous folk self-examining, the fabulous and flirty Mr Barrowman challenges scientists to explain why he’s gay. Nature or nurture?

Plus, he talks to others who have asked this question in the past, from the religious to the bunsen burner bound. Discovery ahoy.

My Name is Earl Channel 4, 10.45pm Earl wakes up from his coma. At last! And he’s resolute that Billie is the one for him. That man gets some very good looking lady friends, but will he get this one?

Well, there is the hitch that Billie thinks our hero’s dead and her ex is doing a bit of wooing of his own. Gulp. Oh, sidebar – Catalina decides she’s a lesbian.

Snog Marry Avoid?

BBC3, 7.30pm Depending on whether you like how the test subjects start out this could either be the crushing of an individual style or ensuring the wee mite doesn’t catch her death of cold. Yes, this is a makeunder show that takes the scantily clad and turns them into young ladies. Or oppresses punks. Hosted by Jenny Frost.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape to the Country 11.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.30 Cash in the Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Step Up to the Plate 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 Skunk Fu 4.05 Best of Friends 4.35 Hider in the House 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Bob the Builder 7.10 Lunar Jim 7.20 Little Robots 7.30 Louie 7.40 Pingu 7.45 Sesame Tree 8.00 Secret Show 8.15 What’s New Scooby Doo? 8.35 Freefonix 9.00 Raven 9.25 MySay 9.30 Adventure Florida 10.00 Get 100 10.30 The Flintstones 11.00 FILM: The Bad News Bears Go To Japan (1978) 12.30pm Working Lunch 1.00 Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Living in the Sun 2.30 Castle in the Country 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Eating with the Enemy 5.15 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Quiz this!

6.30 Animal Park How do you sex a snake? This, and many other bizarre questions, will be answered.

7.00 Unknown Africa: Central African Republic Saba DouglasHamilton, who grew up in Kenya’s wilderness, travels off the beaten path to discover ‘unknown’ Africa.

Wot no maps?!

7.30 Return to... Airport 8.00 Return to... Airport 8.30 RHS Flower Show at Tatton Park The Gardeners World team present a special programme to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the RHS Tatton Flower Show.

9.00 Mock the Week Topical quiz show, with guests Greg Davies and Jo Caulfield.

9.30 Lab Rats Chaotic sitcom. The lab is surrounded by protesters hurling eggs and threats. The Dean is too busy selling the eggs as well as doing a roaring trade in several varieties of Dutch cake to help. Who will save the nutty professors?

10.00 Still Game Sitcom.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Culture Show Uncut Lauren Laverne and Mark Kermode present a mix of cinema, super-size sculpture and great music.

12.05am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12.35 How I Met Your Mother (x2) 1.25 Joins BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Goldenballs

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Friends (x2) 10.00 ER 10.55 Without a Trace 11.45 Grudge Match 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 The Class 1.00 Will and Grace 1.25 In Your Dreams 1.40 Desperate Housewives (x2) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Richard and Judy

6.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Mother Knows Best (1997) 5.00 Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Russian Open 11.00 LIVE European Seniors Tour Golf 2.00pm European Tour Golf: Russian Open 4.00 LIVE European Seniors Tour Golf 7.00 LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Showjumping 1.00am Barclays Premier League World 1.30 Golf Night 4.30 Race World 5.30 Barclays Premier League World

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders What lengths will Jase go to to make Dawn’s dreams come true? Those two are something special (sniff).

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Celebrity MasterChef The final challenge is to cook a three course meal for some of the country’s most accomplished chefs, including Michel Roux Jr. Nail-biting time – but not over the soup.

9.00 John Barrowman: The Making of Me See highlights.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 One Foot in the Grave Replaced at work by a box, Victor embarks on his enforced retirement, but as an erstwhile security officer, he finds it exasperatingly difficult to adapt to this directionless new existence. Can you guess what’s coming?

11.05 FILM: Unfaithful (2002) Starring Diane Lane, Richard Gere, Olivier Martinez. Thriller.

12.15am Weatherview 1.05 Weatherview 1.10 Sign Zone: Panorama 1.40 River Police 2.10 Countryfile 3.05 A Taste of My Life 3.35 Bargain Hunt 4.20 Joins BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Paul begs Jonny not to end their relationship. That always works – begging. Not. 7.30 By Royal Appointment Hannah Scott-Joynt explores the royal borough of Kensington and Chelsea, and learns more about the area known as Albertopolis.

8.00 The Bill PCs Sally Armstrong and Ben Gayle are called to the scene of a hit and run, where a frantic Kim Yates recalls the car which hit the girl as they stepped out of a café together. Seems straightforward. But that would never do... in Sun Hill!

9.00 Harley Street Ekkow worries when a patient wants surgery in order to compete with her teenage daughter. You think?!

10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.40 The Way We Were A trip down memory lane with the south’s favourite celebrities.

11.10 Inside Crime Today, as Blackpool’s illuminations are switched on, the bouncers prepare themselves for a night of misbehaving gangs. Cheeky.

12.10am Bingo Night Live 1.15 Motorsport UK 1.40 Hack 2.30 Loose Women 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The McQueens have a naming ceremony for baby Max. Dreading it, Tina and Dom put on a brave face but it all proves too much for Tina when she reveals that Russ is the father. My goodness, that’s a mucky fan now!

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix Gok scours the high street for this week’s working girl theme, but he is up against an executive class collection.

He also goes shopping with pop princess Dannii Minogue and delves into her laundry to find any fashion faux-pas. Surely not.

9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the BB house.

10.00 The Charlotte Church Show This week’s guests include singer Adele, who will be performing with Charlotte, and Jonathan Ross. He’s guesting, not singing.

10.45 My Name is Earl See highlights.

11.15 Sunday Night Project Will Young joins presenters Justin Lee Collins and Alan Carr.

12.20am 4Music Presents...

12.50 4 Music: Road to V 2008 1.05 Big Brother Live 4.00 FILM: The Arsenal Stadium Mystery (1939) 5.25 Countdown

6.00 Home and Away Could this be the end for Tony and Rachel? That was quick.

6.30 Wild Animal ER Kate goes on a swan release on the River Thames and an escaped weasel gives Tiggywinkles staff the runaround.

7.00 Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 7.30 Rough Guide to off the Beaten Track Julia seeks out ancient cities and amazing wildlife in Belize, and explores the Spanish city of Valencia. Toby heads to Fiji in search of paradise. Bet it costs.

8.00 How to Build a New Life in the Country Property series giving practical advice on how to create the perfect rural lifestyle.

9.00 The Hotel Inspector Alex Polizzi visits a townhouse hotel in Tewkesbury that desperately needs a new look. To make matters worse, the couple who run the hotel are in danger of splitting-up under the pressure. Like a bad lolly-stick.

10.00 Grey’s Anatomy It’s interview day for the chief-of-surgery hopefuls.

11.05 Cathouse When Amy accuses Danielle of bullying new girls, it becomes clear that one of the two has got to go.

12.05am Quiz Call 4.00 Major League Soccer 4.45 Nick’s Quest 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Neighbours

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Total Rugby 11.30 Boots ‘n’ All 12.30pm LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 4.30 LIVE Pro40 League 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 LIVE Sky Poker Five O 12.30am NFL – Total Access 1.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 2.00 The Dogs 2.30 Poker 4.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 5.00 The Dogs

Sky Sports 3 7.30am Clipper Round the World Race 8.00 Watersports World 9.00 Trans World Sport 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Clipper Round the World Race 12.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 Live Showjumping 5.30 Powerboating 6.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 6.30 The Dogs 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 Golf Night 10.30 WWE: Late Night Raw 12.30am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.30 Darts: World Matchplay

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Relic Hunter 1.00 Las Vegas 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x3) 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Bones (x2) 11.00 Empire 12.00am Street Wars 1.00 Street Wars 1.50 Stargate Atlantis 2.40 Airline 3.05 Airline 3.30 Las Vegas

7.00pm The Real Hustle 7.30 Snog Marry Avoid?.

See highlights. 8.00 Britain’s Missing Top Model 9.00 Addicted to Boob Jobs 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 11.00 Family Guy 11.25 Family Guy 11.50 Summer Heights High (x7) 3.10 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Born to be Wild 8.00 The Way We Travelled 9.00 Travellers’ Century 10.00 Journeys into the Ring of Fire 11.00 BBC Four Sessions 12.00am Born to be Wild 12.30 Travellers’ Century 1.30 Journeys into the Ring of Fire 2.30 Born to be Wild 3.00 Travellers’ Century

5.20pm The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 ITunes Festival 2008 7.30 The Office: An American Workplace 8.00 Too Fat to Toddle 9.00 Bionic Woman 10.00 Gossip Girl 11.00 The Fratellis Live at IndigO2 11.30 FILM: Undercover Brother (2002) 1.10am ITunes Festival 2008

3.10pm On the Buses 3.45 On the Buses 4.15 Missing Persons 5.20 Only When I Laugh 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Home to Roost 7.25 Home to Roost 8.00 The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Kavanagh QC 11.40 FILM: Intersection (1994) 1.40am PD James: Death of an Expert Witness

4.20pm Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Scrubs 9.30 My Name is Earl 10.00 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 10.35 The Inbetweeners 11.05 8 out of 10 Cats 11.40 Big Brother: Live 12.00am Big Brother: Live

4.00pm A Place in the Sun (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show with Jon Stewart 9.00 A Time Team Special: The Lost Dock of Liverpool 10.00 Without a Trace (x2) 12.00am ER 1.00 ER 2.00 Without a Trace 2.50 Countdown

12.50pm Maury 1.45 The Fix 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Men in Trees 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Ibiza 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Ghost Whisperer

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.00pm Doctor Who 5.00 Porridge 5.40 My Family 6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 9.40 Fawlty Towers 10.20 The Worst Week of My Life 11.00 The Catherine Tate Show 11.40 Fawlty Towers 12.20am The Worst Week of My Life

3.00pm Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.05 Coupling 11.45 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 12.45am Badly Dubbed Porn

4.00pm Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How it’s Made 7.30 How do They do It? 8.00 American Chopper 9.00 How do They do It? (x2) 10.00 How Stuff’s Made (x2) 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA: Missing Persons Unit 12.30 Crime Scene USA

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Locusts: Day Of Destruction (2005) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Hell’s Rain (2007) 11.50 Heroes 12.50am FILM: Silent Warnings (2003)

Classics

Indie

11.00am Pimpernel Smith (1941) 1.00pm Operation Petticoat (1959) 3.05 Robinson Crusoe On Mars (1964) 5.00 The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) 7.00 Fail-Safe (1964) 9.00 Pimpernel Smith (1941) 11.00 Operation Petticoat (1959) 1.05am King Kong Escapes (1968)

11.15am The Top 10 Show 11.30 Tell No One (2006) 1.45pm Seven Swords (2005) 4.10 Remnants Of Everest: The 1996 Tragedy (2007) 6.00 Best (1999) 7.50 Syriana (2005) 10.00 Tell No One (2006) 12.15am Ravenous (1999) 2.10 The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Lover (1989)

1.00pm Black Magic (1949) 3.00 Green For Danger (1946) 4.45 The Bravados (1958) 6.35 Elizabethtown (2005) 9.00 Bad News Bears (2005) 11.20 Porky’s (1982) 1.10am Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1992) Without a Sarah Michelle Geller, this is the film Joss Whedon was so unhappy with he made the series.

9.00am Light In The Piazza (1962) 11.10 The Power And The Prize (1956) 1.00pm Sense And Sensibility 3.00 Hotel Paradiso (1966) 4.50 Lili (1953) 6.15 Where Eagles Dare (1969) 9.00 The Great Waldo Pepper (1975) 11.00 The Outfit (1973) 12.55am Love Me Or Leave Me (1955)

042_LS382_TV_Fri

7/16/08

4:15 PM

Page 1

friday 25 Big Brother Channel 4, 9pm & 10.35pm Has Big Brother had its day?

With Aussie BB throwing in the towel how are our lot faring?

Pretty well, to be fair. With a catch-up hour and the live eviction announcement – please do not swear – followed half an hour later by the all important interview, this is the perfect time to catch up on all your BB needs.

The Kevin Bishop Show Channel 4, 10pm The latest impressionist showcase hits the small screen, with a prize time on Friday night between BBs proclaiming the faith in this Bishop talent ( no relation to Neighbours’ Harold).

With sketches that include Bruce Forsyth’s screen test for The Shining, and Al Pacino’s take on Superman, anything can happen.

Respect Yourself: The Stax Records Story BBC4, 9pm A defining record label of the 60s soul scene, Stax was founded in a black neighbourhood by a white brother and sister. As a studio with an open door policy, the label went on to sign such iconic acts as Otis Redding, Isaac Hayes and their house band Booker T and the MGs. Fab.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Step Up To The Plate 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 Uncle Max 4.05 Best Of Friends 4.35 Sorry I’ve Got No Head 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Bob The Builder 7.10 Lunar Jim 7.20 Little Robots 7.30 Louie 7.40 Pingu 7.45 Sesame Tree 8.00 Secret Show 8.15 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 8.35 Freefonix 9.00 Raven 9.25 MySay 9.30 Adventure Florida 10.00 Get 100 10.30 Flintstones 10.55 FILM: Escape To Witch Mountain (1974) 12.30pm Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Living In The Sun 2.30 Castle In The Country 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Eating With The Enemy 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Athletics: London Grand Prix Live action from Crystal Palace as the world’s elite athletes put their final preparation together ahead of the Olympic Games.

8.30 RHS Flower Show At Tatton Park Joe Swift tries his hand in the Rural Sills and Crafts Pavilion, Carol Klein picks the best new plant varieties launched at the show, and Rachel de Thame presents coverage of the UK Florist of the Year finals.

9.00 Burn Up Drama. At a climate change conference in Calgary Tom realises that his best friends are his enemies and that they will stop at nothing to preserve their interests.

With a race to the finish Tom has to decide what to do with the kind of information that kills people. Dum, dum, DUUMMM! 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review Round table arts and culture discussion programme with Kirsty Wark.

11.35 Originals: Dinah Washington - Evil Gal Blues Documentary about American jazz and blues singer Dinah Washington, featuring contributions from people who knew her well and singers who love her work.

12.35am Star Trek: The Next Generation 1.20 Star Trek: The Next Generation 2.05 FILM: Terror (1979) 3.25 How I Met Your Mother (x2)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Goldenballs

6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Friends (x2) 9.55 ER 10.55 Without A Trace 11.45 Small Railway Journeys 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Stanley Kubrick’s Small Boxes 12.35 The Class 1.00 Will And Grace 1.25 Supporting Acts 1.45 Desperate Housewives 2.35 Desperate Housewives 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Richard And Judy

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: A Step Toward Tomorrow (1996) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 European Tour Golf: Russian Open 11.00 Live European Seniors Tour Golf 2.00pm Live European Tour Golf: Russian Open 4.00 LIVE European Seniors Tour Golf 7.00 LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 NFL Total Access 12.00am Rugby League 2.00 Showjumping 4.00 Tight Lines 5.00 Pipeline Adventures 5.30 Gillette World Sport

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks John Paul and Kieron tell Niall about their engagement but agree to keep it a secret until they’ve told Myra. Watch for the steam coming out of her ears yonder.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away Norfolk-based business owners Nick and Lisa Aston are looking for the perfect holiday home.

While Lisa wants a Spanish property, Nick’s ideal holiday retreat is just ten minutes down the road in the Norfolk Broads. Hardly a holiday then. More of an annexe?

9.00 Big Brother See highlights.

10.00 The Kevin Bishop Show See highlights.

10.35 Big Brother See highlights.

11.05 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Chef Gordon Ramsay presents another edition of the fast-paced food magazine show featuring recipes, consumer stories and cooking challenges. Repeat of this week’s episode.

12.10am 4 Music: T-Mobile Transmission 1.10 Goalissimo!

2.00 Bullrun: Cops, Cars And Superstars 2.30 Big Brother Live 4.35 Trans World Sport 5.25 Countdown

6.00 Home And Away Leah confides in Miles. Kirsty tries to make amends.

Kane makes a decision. Tony upsets Rachel. They’re all in their own little worlds really.

6.30 Wild Animal ER Hayley, the badger with the heart murmur, is given a check-up.

7.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 7.30 Brits Who Made The Modern World Focussing on the development of Britain’s mobile-phone network.

8.00 Superstars Athletes from a range of disciplines compete against each other in a series of sporting challenges. Based on the popular show of the 1970s and 80s.

9.00 NCIS Tony goes undercover to help a prisoner escape from a military detention camp in order to recover millions of dollars worth of Iraqi art.

10.00 Shark An up-and-coming songstress is murdered shortly after attending a party at the Playboy Mansion. Heff! How could you?! Oh, you didn’t. Fair as.

11.00 Law And Order Briscoe and Green think that the murder of a businessman was a professional hit, and fingers point to the wife and her lover. What about the cook and the thief? Peter Greenaway reference.

12.00am Quiz Call 4.30 Lemur Island 5.10 House Doctor 5.35 Neighbours

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Sky Cops Helicopter coppers.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Max does his best to cause problems for Tanya and Jack. Why do you want a woman who buries you alive? Kinky.

8.30 Celebrity MasterChef It’s the grand final and the finalists have to cook their best three course meal for one final judgement in which the winner will be crowned Celebrity Masterchef Champion. Whe-hey!

9.00 Would I Lie To You? Comedy panel show, hosted by Angus Deayton, in which team mates must discern fact from fiction. ‘Call My Bluff’ for the buff generation.

9.30 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook The best bits.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Comedy Connections The history of Yes, Minister..

11.15 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.20 FILM: The Rainmaker (1997) Starring Matt Damon, Claire Danes, Jon Voight. Legal drama adapted from the John Grisham novel.

1.30am Weatherview 1.35 Sign Zone: Top Gear 2.35 Francesco’s Mediterranean Voyage 3.35 Joins BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Anna assures Carl that she isn’t interested in Jimmy.

Those brothers should develop different tastes in women.

7.30 Coronation Street David is getting suspicious of Tina’s virtual friends. And you don’t want to see him when he’s suspicious. No green Hulk, but still not pretty. Grr. 8.00 Tiger Island Chris Packham narrates this series which follows the day-to-day life at the Isle of the Wight Tiger Sanctuary. The stripy fiends get to play tug of war. With something that’s not a cameraman.

Phew!

8.30 Coronation Street Fiz has a go at John for using Chesney. D’oh! Best way to cross her is with Ches’. Fool.

9.00 A Touch Of Frost Police drama series. When an environmental health officer disappears and a dismembered arm is washed up on the shore of the Humber Estuary, Frost is called in to investigate.

Arresting swan-poachers and ‘Wind In The Willow’ fanatics must wait.

11.00 The Late News; Weather 11.45 Bingo Night Live Housey housey.

12.55am Hack 1.45 FILM: Splitting Heirs (1992) 3.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 11.30 The Dogs 12.00pm Barclays Premier League World 12.30 Trans World Sport 1.30 Powerboating 2.00 Barclays Premier League World 2.30 Live Showjumping 5.30 Gillette World Sport 6.00 LIVE Rugby Union: Currie Cup 8.00 LIVE Rugby Union 10.00 Rugby Union: Currie Cup 12.00am Tight Lines 1.00 Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing

Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE: Raw 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Powerboating 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Race World 1.00 NFL - Total Access 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 The Dogs 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 NFL - Total Access 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 Pipeline Adventures 7.30 Golf Night 10.30 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 12.30am WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 1.30 Rugby Union: Currie Cup 3.30 Rugby League 5.30 Powerboating

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Relic Hunter 1.00 Las Vegas 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x3) 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 10.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 11.00 Gladiators 12.00am Street Wars 1.00 Street Wars

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 The Real Hustle 8.30 FILM: Freaky Friday (2003) 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 11.30 Family Guy 11.55 Family Guy 12.20am Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 12.50 Trexx And Flipside 1.20 Snog Marry Avoid?

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 A Seaside Parish 8.00 Classic Brittania 9.00 Respect Yourself: The Stax Records Story. See highlights. 10.55 Stax Volt Tour Of Norway 1967 11.55 The Avengers 12.45am The Avengers 1.35 Charles Wheeler: Edge Of Frame 2.25 Charles Wheeler: Shadow Over Europe

5.20pm The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy 6.35 Judge Judy 7.00 ITunes Festival 2008 7.30 The Office: An American Workplace 8.00 Pushing Daisies 9.00 America’s Got Talent 10.15 Bionic Woman 11.15 Benicassim 2008 12.15am Coronation Street (x2) 1.15 ITunes Festival 2008

3.35pm On The Buses 4.00 Missing Persons 5.10 Only When I Laugh 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Home To Roost 7.15 Home To Roost 7.55 Wycliffe 9.00 FILM: Intersection (1994) 11.00 Cold Blood... Behind The Scenes 12.00am Wycliffe 1.05 PD James: Death Of An Expert Witness

12.25pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x2) 9.00 How To Look Good Naked 10.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix 11.05 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.40 Big Brother: Live 12.00am Big Brother

1.10pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 Hill Street Blues 4.00 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: The Shining (1980) 11.45 Live From Abbey Road 12.50am All You Need Is Love

12.50pm Maury 1.45 The Fix 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 Private Practice 12.00am Ghost Whisperer

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.40pm My Family 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Fawlty Towers 10.20 The Worst Week Of My Life 11.00 The Catherine Tate Show 11.40 Fawlty Towers 12.25am The Worst Week Of My Life

4.00pm The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Kitchen Confidential 12.20am Kitchen Confidential 12.50 Badly Dubbed Porn (x2) 1.50 Sexy Cam

2.00pm Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How It’s Made 7.30 How Do They Do It? 8.00 Crime Scene Australia 9.00 I Killed John Lennon 10.00 A Haunting 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Haunted (1995) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Session 9 (2001) 12.00am Heroes 1.00 FILM: Dead End (2003) 3.00 Angel 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 Angel

Classics

Indie

12.00pm The Desert Rats (1953) 1.30 Topaz (1969) 3.55 Tarantula (1955) 5.20 The Far Country (1955) 7.00 The Desert Rats (1953) 8.30 Zulu (1964) 10.50 Torn Curtain (1966) 1.00am Doctor Dolittle (1967) 3.25 Phantom Of The Opera (1962) 4.55 Tarantula (1955)

12.40pm Annie Hall (1977) 2.25 Indie Close-Up 2.55 Cache (2005) 4.55 Days Of Glory (2005) 7.05 Tube Tales (1999) 8.40 Them (2005) 10.00 London To Brighton (2006) 11.30 A Scanner Darkly (2006) 1.15am Suicide Kings (1997) 3.10 Them (2005) 4.40 The Top 10 Show

1.00pm A Letter To Three Wives (1949) 3.10 The Silver Fleet (1943) 4.50 Up Periscope (1959) 6.55 Flight Of The Phoenix (2004) 9.00 Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) 10.45 American Psycho (2000) Get your Christian Bale fix ahead of the Batman release. 12.45am The Machinist (2004)

1.00pm Sense And Sensibility 2.35 The Screening Room 3.00 Now, Voyager (1942) 5.10 Designing Woman (1957) 7.15 Tick... Tick... Tick (1970) 9.00 Beetlejuice (1988) 10.40 Victor/Victoria (1982) 1.30am Hercules, Samson And Ulysses (1965) 3.10 Escape From Fort Bravo (1953)

043_LS382_Sat

7/18/08

10:16 AM

Page 1

saturday 26 BBC Proms 2008 BBC2, 6.45pm A celebration of violinist Nigel Kennedy’s return to the BBC Proms after an absence of 21 years with Paul Daniel conducting the BBC Concert Orchestra Nigel is still the crazy kid of the pit with his trademark fin, though now he has a grey stripe down the centre. Did you say badger? Rude!

X-Files: I Want to Believe ITV1, 1.15am Special behind-the-scenes look at the creation of the big screen version of the sci-fi TV sensation.

Includes interviews with David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson.

And with all the internet speculation, all the old romantics out there are awaiting news of a final bit of rump the hump between Mulder and Scully. It’s about time.

Gossip Girl ITV2, 6.55pm If you haven’t caught this delightful American teen drama yet, well it’s worth a shot.

Imagine Dawson’s Creek with an overdose of bitches. Everyone’s life is up for grabs as the beautiful bitchery bounces merrily along to a surprisingly good soundtrack of quality indie bands.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.30 Celebrity MasterChef 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Rugby League Challenge Cup – Semi Final 2.30 Athletics: London Grand Prix 5.40 BBC News

6.00am Fimbles 6.25 Tikkabilla 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Watch My Chops 7.15 Trollz 7.35 Zombie Hotel 8.00 Only in America 8.30 Secret Show 8.45 Secret Show 8.55 Bernard 9.00 Help Teacher is Coming to Stay 10.00 50/50 10.30 The Slammer 10.55 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 11.00 The Story of Tracy Beaker 11.30 Eliot Kid 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm Animal Park 12.30 FILM: The Seven Year Itch (1955) 2.15 Racing From Ascot 4.45 Flog It! 5.45 Coast

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Jim Jam and Sunny 9.40 Captain Mack 9.55 Captain Mack 10.10 Supernormal 10.25 Drake and Josh 10.55 Finger Tips 11.10 Tricky Quickies 11.15 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 12.15pm ITV News and Weather 12.25 Meridian News and Weather 12.30 FILM: 633 Squadron (1964) 2.15 FILM: MacArthur (1977) 4.45 Meridian News and Weather 5.00 ITV News and Weather 5.20 FILM: Liar Liar (1997)

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 T-Mobile Transmission 9.25 T4 on the Beach: Buried Treasures 10.10 Big Brother 11.10 Big Brother 11.40 Shipwrecked 2008: Battle of the Islands 1.00pm Red Bull Air Race 2008 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Deal or No Deal 4.45 Supernanny US 5.40 Gok’s Fashion Fix

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Showjumping 9.00 Cricket AM 10.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.00 LIVE Twenty20 Cup Cricket 2.00pm LIVE Twenty20 Cup Cricket 6.00 Sky Sports Classics: Cricket Classics 6.30 Sky Sports Classics 7.00 LIVE Twenty20 Cup Cricket 10.30 Golf Night 1.00am Darts: World Matchplay Final 3.00 Twenty20 Cup Cricket 5.00 Sky Sports Classics: Cricket Classics 5.30 Sky Sports Classics

6.00 Weakest Link Special Anne Robinson is nice to her contestants. Is that what’s special?

6.55 Last Choir Standing Myleene Klass and Nick Knowles host the search for Britain’s best choir.

8.05 The National Lottery: This Time Tomorrow Tess Daly hosts.

Includes the Thunderball and Lotto draws live from Lottery HQ. 8.55 Casualty Snezana’s secret almost has fatal consequences and Jeff threatens to blow the whistle.

9.45 BBC News National and international BBC News, Weather.

10.05 FILM: Flightplan (2005) Starring Jodie Foster, Sean Bean.

When a woman’s six-year-old daughter vanishes during a transatlantic flight, she struggles to convince the cabin crew that she is telling the truth about the disappearance. After a search of the plane reveals nothing, it transpires that the girl’s name wasn’t on the passenger list. Has she been kidnapped or is she the figment of a disturbed woman’s imagination?

11.45 FILM: Eurotrip (2004) Starring Michelle Trachtenberg. Teen comedy about an American high-school graduate who, after learning that his girlfriend has been cheating on him, travels across Europe in search of his stunning German penpal.

1.15am Weatherview 1.20 Joins BBC News

6.45 BBC Proms 2008 A celebration of violinist Nigel Kennedy’s return to the BBC Proms after an absence of 21 years. See preview.

8.30 Dad’s Army Mainwaring the bank manager calls in Corporal Jones to explain why his account is always in the red.

9.00 Have I Got Old News for You Comedy quiz show that grills celebrity contestants on the week’s news.

Tonight Paul Merton and Ian Hislop are joined in the ring by the man with the eyebrows, comedien Stephen Frost and Labour MP Stephen Pound.

Expect sarcasm.

9.30 Mock the Week Comedy show combining a panel show, stand-up and improvised games. Swipe at the news and world events.

10.00 Comics Britannia Armando Lannucci explores the history of British comics.

11.00 Comedy Connections Series charting the history of comedy shows.

11.40 FILM: Spider (2002) Released from a mental institution, a disturbed man revisits his childhood and recalls unsettling events. A creepy, atmospheric and brilliantly acted drama from the director of Dead Ringers and The Fly. 1.15am Arrested Development Comedy series about a rich dysfunctional family.

1.40 Arrested Development 2.05 FILM: Emile (2003)

6.55 You’ve Been Framed!

Harry Hill delves into the archive for more family size bloopers and reasons relatives shouldn’t dance at weddings.

7.55 Who Dares Sings! Denise Van Outen and Ben Shephard host the TV karaoke party. Members of the audience must sing against the super computer SAM. Is it Sam Fox? Oh we do hope so, her contribution to the pop music industry has been sorely missed.

8.55 Foyle’s War An unexploded bomb at a busy shipyard leads to a startling discovery.

10.55 ITV News and Weather The latest news headlines and weather.

11.10 Benidorm Janice tries to convince Madge not to agree to a wedding to a man they have only known for five minutes. What a spoil sport, everyone loves a bit of daredevil behaviour.

11.40 Benidorm The muchos tanned buddies head off on a free trip to a bullfight.

12.10am Bingo Night Live Get your free cards at itv.com/bingonightlive.

Don’t do this drunk.

1.15 X-Files: I Want to Believe – Special behind-the-scenes look at the creation of the big screen version of the sci-fi TV sensation. See preview.

1.35 Nightwatch with Steve Scott 2.35 FILM: The Krays (1990) 4.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.00 CITV:

6.40 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.00 Krakatoa Drama-documentary recalling the volcanic eruption of Krakatoa over 100 years ago which resulted in the destruction of the island, situated off the southern tip of Sumatra. Ash clouds from the eruption affected climate globally, while the tsunami it produced was twice the height of that which struck Asia on Boxing Day 2004.

9.00 Big Brother Highlights 10.00 FILM: Blast From The Past (1999) Starring Brendan Fraser, Alicia Silverstone, Christopher Walken, Sissy Spacek and Dave Foley. Comedy about a young man’s reaction to the modern world after emerging from a bunker where he has lived with his parents since they mistook a plane crash for a nuclear bomb in 1962.

11.55 Live from Abbey Road Music comes from The Black Keys, The Hoosiers and Manu Chao.

1.00am Big Brother Live All the latest housemate action.

4.25 St Elsewhere Hospital drama series. Chandler feels uncomfortable when a bigamist’s two wives turn up.

5.15 Countdown Des O’Connor and Carol Vorderman host the show where contestants race against the clock in the words and numbers game. This week’s Dictionary Corner guest is John Sergeant.

7.00 Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs 7.15 Little Princess 7.35 The Beeps 7.50 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 8.10 The Save-Ums! 8.20 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.40 The Mr. Men Show 8.55 The Mr. Men Show 9.05 Rupert the Bear 9.20 Animal Families 9.35 The Secret of Eel Island 9.50 Look! 10.00 Fifth Gear Short Cuts 10.05 Britain’s Strongest Man 10.55 Megastructures 11.55 Warship 12.55pm FILM: Samson and Delilah (1949) 3.20 Football 5.45 FILM: Jason And The Argonauts (1963) 7.35 Superstars Athletes from a range of disciplines compete against each other in a series of sporting challenges. Based on the popular show of the 1970s and 80s, this new series follows four teams captained

by Sir Steve Redgrave, Dame Kelly Holmes, Mike Catt and Roger Black.

8.30 Five News and Sport 8.45 NCIS Drama series following a team of special agents who investigate crimes connected to Navy and Marine Corps personnel. Ziva’s past comes back to haunt her when she witnesses an assassination by her former Mossad partner.

9.45 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. When a paintball player is found shot dead, Flack realises that a dirty cop under his supervision could be to blame.

10.45 Law and Order: Criminal Intent American police drama series.

Goren and Eames track down a jewel thief who murdered her accomplice.

11.45 Women Who Kill Series documenting the harrowing stories of female killers. This edition focuses on Barbara Holder, a Texas-based drug addict who used sex to persuade an ex-con and his pal to murder her husband for the life insurance payout.

12.15am Quiz Call Interactive quiz show.

4.30 Lemur Island Wildlife series 5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Wildlife SOS

Sky Sports 2 6.00am UIM F1 Powerboating 6.30 Darts: World Matchplay 10.30 Live Tri-Nations Rugby Union 1.00pm NFL: Total Access 2.00 LIVE Showjumping 6.00 NFL: Total Access 7.00 LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 Gillette World Sport 10.00 LIVE Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 12.00am Twenty20 Cup Cricket 2.00 Masters Football: Northwest Masters 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 Pipeline Adventures

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Rugby League 10.00 Max Power 11.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Russian Open 2.00pm LIVE European Seniors Tour Golf 6.00 Gillette World Sport 6.30 UIM F1 Powerboating 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 LIVE Masters Football: Northwest Masters 10.30 Showjumping 12.30am WWE Late Night Smackdown 2.30 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 3.30 Golf Night

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

1.00pm Don’t Forget the Lyrics (x3) 4.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x4) 6.00 Gladiators 7.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x2) 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 Road Wars (x2) 11.00 FILM: Footloose (1984) 1.05am Road Wars Half Hours 1.30 Road Wars 2.20 The Villa 3.15 Mile High 4.10 Caribbean Uncovered

7.00pm Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 FILM: Heat (1995) 11.45 Family Guy (x2) 12.30 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 1.00 Britain’s Missing Top Model 2.00 Addicted to Boob Jobs 3.00 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 4.00 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 4.30 Close

7.00pm The Flipside of Dominick Hyde 8.30 Mastermind: Fred Housego 9.00 Arena: Cab Driver 10.00 Top Gear Take Two 10.15 The Knowledge 11.50 Modern Times 12.40am Jonathan Ross in Search of Steve Ditko 1.40 Arena: Cab Driver 2.40 Perpetual Motion 3.10 Arena: Cab Driver

3.20pm All Star Family Fortunes 4.00 Keith Lemon: The Hot Desk 4.10 Planet’s Funniest Animals 4.35 Animals do the Funniest Things 5.40 America’s Got Talent 6.55 Gossip Girl 7.55 FILM: Back To The Future Part III (1990) 10.05 FILM: Die Hard (1988) 12.35am N*E*R*D Live at IndigO2 1.05 FILM: The Skulls (2000)

12.50pm Agatha Christie’s: Seven Dials Mystery 3.45 Kavanagh QC 5.25 Inspector Morse 7.30 Cadfael 9.00 Drama Trails: Bad Girls to Cold Blood 10.00 PD James: Devices and Desires 11.05 FILM: The Last Tycoon (1976) 1.30am Bramwell (x2) 3.20 The Wonder Years 3.50 Film File 4.00 Teleshopping

9.50am Kevin Hill 10.40 Dark Angel 11.35 Roswell 12.25pm Big Brother’s Little Brother 12.55 Big Brother: Live 2.55 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.25 Friends (x2) 6.25 Big Brother (x2) 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Broken Arrow (1996) 11.05 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 12.10am Big Brother: Live

9.00am A Place in the Sun 9.30 Time Team (x4) 1.40pm FILM: Flying Tigers (1942) 3.35 Grand Designs (x5) 9.00 Les Dawson’s Lost Diaries 10.00 The Unseen Spike Milligan 11.05 The Camomile Lawn 12.15am The West Wing 1.15 Grand Designs 2.20 The Unseen Spike Milligan 3.25 Close

3.00pm The Jerry Springer Show (x8) 7.00 Make Me a Supermodel US 8.00 Outrageous Home Videos: Party Fouls 9.00 Ibiza 10.00 Hotel Babylon 11.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.05am Charmed 1.00 Outrageous Home Videos: Party Fouls 2.00 Maury 2.55 The Fix 3.00 Close to Home

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.40pm What a Carry On! 4.15 FILM: Carry On Girls (1973) 6.00 What a Carry On! (x2) 7.15 FILM: Carry On Follow That Camel (1967) 9.00 FILM: High Fidelity (2000) 11.10 Blackadder II 11.50 I’m Alan Partridge 12.30am 2point4 Children 1.10 FILM: Panic Room (2002) 3.10 Blackadder II

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Scrubs (x2) 4.00 Becker (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Becker 6.30 Scrubs 7.00 Last Comic Standing 9.00 Scrubs 9.30 Everybody Hates Chris 10.00 Jo Brand: Barely Live 11.30 Lee Evans Live from the West End 1.00am Shortcuts Shuffle (x6) 2.00 Linc’s 2.30 Becker (x5)

6.00pm Building the Biggest 7.00 How do They do It? (x2) 8.00 How Stuff’s Made (x2) 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Crime Museum UK with Martin Kemp (x2) 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA: Body of Evidence 12.30 Crime Scene USA: North Mission Road 1.00 Psychic Witness

1.00pm FILM: Avalanche (1994) 2.50 FILM: Solar Attack (2005) 4.40 FILM: Hell’s Rain (2007) 6.30 The Making of Tin Man 7.00 FILM: Bone Eater (2007) 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Escape From LA (1996) 12.00am FILM: Dracula II: Ascension (2003) 1.40 FILM: Dracula III: Legacy (2003) 3.30 Ghost Stories

Classics

Indie

7.50am Demetrius And The Gladiators (1954) 9.35 The Guns Of Navarone (1961) 12.10pm Carousel (1956) 2.20 The Robe (1953) 4.40 The Egyptian (1954) 7.00 Sands Of Iwo Jima (1949) 8.50 The Guns Of Navarone (1961) 11.30 A Foreign Affair (1948) 1.30am Sands Of Iwo Jima (1949)

12.25pm The Tango Lesson (1997) 2.10 New Police Story (2004) 4.15 Neil Young: Heart of Gold 6.00 The Curse Of The Golden Flower (2006) 7.55 New Police Story (2004) 10.00 Running With Scissors (2006) 12.05am This Year’s Love (1998) 1.55 Indie Close-Up

1.00pm Thunderbirds Are Go! (1966) 2.45 The Girl Can’t Help It (1956) 4.35 Because Of Winn-Dixie (2005) 6.45 Music Of The Heart (1999) 9.00 Mean Girls (2004) 10.45 The Sin Eater (2003) 12.45am Candy (2006) 2.55 Close

9.00am Now, Voyager (1942) 11.05 Guns For San Sebastian (1968) 1.00pm Gigi (1958) 3.00 Blossoms In The Dust (1941) 4.45 The Three Musketeers (1948) 7.05 The Power (1968) 9.00 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) 11.30 Lolita (1962) 2.10am Home From The Hill (1960) 5.00 The Secret Partner (1961)

044_LS382 _Sun_TV

7/18/08

12:41 PM

Page 1

sunday 27 Car Bomb Channel 4, 7pm Travelling across the Middle East, Europe and the US, Robert Baer, ex-CIA agent whose life was played by George Clooney in the Hollywood movie Syriana, hits the intelligence trail to talk to the men who make car bombs, and the bomb disposal experts. Baer unearths the history behind the ultimate terror weapon.

The Charlotte Church show Channel 4, 11.45pm We seem to love the Welsh with the likes of Gavin and Stacey winning all the awards and the return of the ‘voice of an angel‘, who grew-up into a right pottymouthed princess. Adele’s on tonight, singing ‘Pavements‘, something Charlotte’s hit quite a few times on her nights out in Cardiff. Tidy indeed.

Touch Me I’m Karen Taylor BBC3, 11.15pm BAFTA award-winning comic Karen Taylor is back for the summer with a heavy dose of good old-fashioned saucy humour. Expect: At Home with The Smithsons, where Kerry Katona meets Anna Nicole Smith in a fly-on-the-wall reality show featuring former stripper Joanna and her 80-year-old husband.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Sunday Life 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm BBC News 12.05 Cash in the Attic 12.35 ‘Allo ‘Allo!

1.00 EastEnders 2.55 FILM: The Horse Whisperer (1998) 5.35 Keeping up Appearances

6.00am Fimbles 6.25 Tikkabilla 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Legend of the Dragon 7.25 Watch My Chops 7.35 The Batman 7.55 Bernard 8.00 Best of Friends 8.30 Raven – the Secret Temple 9.00 SMart 10.00 Something for the Weekend 11.30 Rachel’s Favourite Food 12.00pm Animal Park 1.00 Fred Dibnah’s World of Steam, Steel and Stone 1.30 Racing from Ascot 3.10 Rugby League Challenge Cup Semi Final 5.30 An Otter in the Family

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Jim Jam and Sunny 9.40 Captain Mack 9.55 Captain Mack 10.10 Finger Tips 10.30 Art Attack 10.55 Horrid Henry 11.10 Coronation Street Omnibus 1.20pm Planet’s Funniest Animals 1.50 ITV News and Weather 2.00 Regional News and Weather 2.05 Meridian News and Weather 2.10 FILM: The Alamo (1960) 5.00 Robbie Coltrane: B-Road Britain

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Trans World Sport 7.55 Bennett’s British Superbike Championship 8.50 The Nokia Green Room 9.25 Wall.E: T4 Movie Special 10.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.30pm Shipwrecked 2008: The Reunion Finale 1.40 Big Brother’s Little Brother 2.40 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 3.45 The Simpsons 4.15 The Simpsons 4.45 Time Team 5.45 Scrapheap Challenge

7.10 Little Princess 7.25 The Beeps 7.40 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 7.55 The Save-Ums! 8.05 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.25 The Mr. Men Show 8.40 The Mr. Men Show 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.10 Animal Families 9.25 George Shrinks 10.00 The Gadget Show 11.00 Monster Moves 12.00pm Ice Road Truckers 1.00 Zoo Days 1.30 FILM: Simon Birch (1999) 3.35 FILM: Excess Baggage (1997) 5.25 Five News and Sport 5.45 FILM: Stealth (2005)

6.00am Tri-Nations Rugby Union 7.00 Twenty20 Cup Cricket 9.00 Where are they Now? 9.30 Cricket Writers on TV 10.30 Where are they Now? 11.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Russian Open 2.00pm LIVE European Seniors Tour Golf 6.00 Pipeline Adventures 6.30 Where are they Now? 7.00 LIVE NASCAR: Allstate 400 at the Brickyard 11.00 Where are they Now? 11.30 Showjumping 1.30am Golf Night 4.30 Where are they Now? 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Polo: British Beach Polo Championships

6.05 Songs of Praise Religious thoughts and music. Aled Jones is in Southwell as he starts a six-week tour of cathedral towns across Britain. He revisits the renovated Gorton Monastery in Manchester and meets the man behind the building of Coventry Cathedral.

6.40 Last of the Summer Wine A worldly-wise old acquaintance of Alvin’s makes an appearance.

7.10 BBC News National and international news; Weather.

7.35 Last Choir Standing Results Myleene Klass and Nick Knowles host the search for Britain’s best choir.

8.00 FILM: War Of The Worlds (2005) Starring Tom Cruise. Updated science fiction drama. Based on HG Wells’s classic novel.

9.50 BBC News News and Weather.

10.10 Commercial Breakdown With Jimmy Carr Jimmy Carr presents a collection of the funniest, wildest and weirdest television.

10.50 FILM: Muriel’s Wedding (1994) Starring Toni Collette.

Sparkling comedy about a frumpy girl who equates marriage with success.

12.30am Sign Zone: Weatherview 12.35 Ray Mears travels to the Torres Strait Islands 1.35 Holby City 2.35 Britain’s Lost World Dan Snow, 3.35 Joins BBC News

6.00 Siberia to Sahara: A Snowboarder’s Journey 7.00 Dragons’ Den The multimillionaire Dragon investors are back.

The Dragons chat with a talking tree; there’s a machine that turns air into water; a non-slip travel cushion and a company that is aiming to transform the nations’ gardens by brightening up the tired old garden fence.

8.00 Top Gear In the last show of the current series Jeremy, Richard and James take on their rivals from the German equivalent of Top Gear and, in doing so, face their toughest challenge yet – not mentioning the war. Tune in just to see if they managed that much. My bets are on the Germans and on Clarkson not giving a toss.

9.00 Long Way Round Documentary showing the preparation and planning of Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman’s famous motorbike journey.

10.00 Tribal Wives Six women live for a month with six different tribes.

11.00 FILM: Where The Truth Lies (1999) Starring Marlee Matlin, Regina King, Phillip Lester, Robert Blanche, Linden Ashby, Brian McNamara, Susan Walters, Jonathan Farwell and Betty Moyer. Courtroom drama about a political campaign manager accused of murdering the candidate for whom she was working.

12.40am Joins BBC News

6.00 Country Lives Chris Beardshaw joins a team from Trinity House on a repair mission to a light vessel in the North Sea, and then travels to Southend where he meets one of the longest serving RNLI volunteers.

6.25 Meridian News and Weather Latest local news and weather.

6.40 ITV News and Weather The News headlines from around the world followed by weather forecast.

7.00 Heartbeat Joe and Carol join forces when their concerns for the welfare of a young ballerina grow.

8.00 Midsomer Murders A sure sign that it’s Sunday – in case you were wondering – Barnaby and Jones investigate the secretive world of Midsomer’s Magic Circle.

10.00 ITV News and Weather 10.15 All New TV’s Naughtiest Blunders Outrageous out-takes from the small screen.

11.30 A Match Made in Heaven Behind the scenes at three of the most popular religious dating agencies.

12.00am Vicars’ Wives The busy lives of three clergy wives from the South Coast.

12.30 60 Minute Makeover 1.25 Vanessa’s Real Lives 2.15 Fat Chance 2.40 Fat Chance 3.05 Moving Day 3.30 Moving Day 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.00 CITV:

6.45 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather.

7.00 Car Bomb Ex-CIA operative Robert Baer charts the evolution of the car bomb. See highlights.

8.00 Queen Camilla Despite being acknowledged in public as never before, little is known about Camilla Parker-Bowles, companion to the Prince of Wales. This programme looks at the inside story of Charles and Camilla’s relationship, as friends and former staff break their silence.

9.00 Big Brother 24 hours in the Big Brother house.

10.00 FILM: Cabin Fever (2002) Starring James DeBello, Jordan Ladd, Rider Strong and Cerina Vincent. Horror about a camping trip in the woods that turns into a living nightmare when one of a group of graduates contracts a flesh-eating virus.

11.45 The Charlotte Church Show This week’s guests include singer Adele, who will be performing with Charlotte, and Jonathan Ross.

12.35am Back to You US sitcom starring Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton as a pair of bickering news anchors.

1.05 Big Brother Live 4.25 Car Bomb 5.25 Countdown game.

8.00 Riddle of the Romanovs: Revealed Historical documentary probing one of the 20th century’s most enduring mysteries.

9.00 Most Shocking Celebrity Moments of the 90s Entertaining countdown of the 70 most stunning moments from a decade of outrageous behaviour, including Michael Jackson’s wedding to Lisa Marie Presley; Charles and Camilla’s secret tape; Glenn Hoddle’s sacking as England manager; and Madonna’s first venture into publishing.

12.00am Banged Up Documentary series presented by David Blunkett MP in which ten youths spend ten days in prison. Each of the teenagers has convictions ranging from theft to assault, but none of them have ever served time behind bars. In a unique experiment, they will find out what life in prison is truly like for the first time – but will it be enough to change their ways? In this installment, the inmates face the parole board for the first time. Later, they are granted an hour’s visit from their loved ones.

1.00 Major League Baseball 4.20 Ironman Triathlon: South Africa Triathlon action with highlights.

5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Wildlife SOS Documentary series about the work of dedicated animal lovers who save injured and orphaned wild animals brought into their sanctuary.

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Showjumping 8.00 Darts: World Matchplay Final 10.00 Tennis: ATP Toronto Masters 12.00pm Darts: World Matchplay Final 2.00 Seamaster Sailing 2.30 LIVE Showjumping 5.30 Polo: British Beach Polo Championships 6.00 Seamaster Sailing 6.30 LIVE Tennis: ATP Toronto Masters 9.00 Golf Night 12.00am Tennis: ATP Toronto Masters 2.00 Polo: British Beach Polo Championships 2.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Masters Football: Northwest Masters 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Polo: British Beach Polo Championships 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Masters Football: Northwest Masters 3.00 Darts: World Matchplay Final 5.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 6.00 WWE Experience 7.00 Polo: British Beach Polo Championships 7.30 Where are they Now? 8.00 Showjumping 10.00 WWE Afterburn 11.00 WWE Vintage Collection 12.00am Polo: British Beach Polo Championships 12.30 Where are they Now? 1.00 Watersports World 2.00 Seamaster Sailing 2.30 Close

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

1.00pm Futurama (x2) 2.00 Killer Squid 3.00 Don’t Forget the Lyrics 4.00 Futurama (x3) 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 Gladiators 7.00 Don’t Forget the Lyrics 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 FILM: Footloose (1984) 11.05 Gladiators 12.05am Road Wars 1.05 Street Wars 2.00 The Villa 2.55 Mile High

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Greek 8.40 Greek Uncovered 9.00 Sasha: Beauty Queen at 11 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 Trexx and Flipside 11.15 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 11.45 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (x2) 12.45am Sasha: Beauty Queen at 11

7.00pm Coal House 7.30 Proms on Four 2008: Messiaen 9.15 Frank Hurley: The Man who Made History 10.15 The Worst Journey in the World 11.15 Respect Yourself: The Stax Records Story 1.10am Stax Volt Tour of Norway 1967 2.10 Proms on Four 2008: Messiaen 3.55 Close

9.25am America’s Got Talent 10.40 Gossip Girl 11.40 FILM: Back To The Future Part III (1990) 1.50pm Emmerdale Omnibus 4.35 Coronation Street Omnibus 7.00 America’s Got Talent 8.15 Gossip Girl 9.00 FILM: Die Hard (1988) 11.35 FILM: Love Actually (2003) 2.05am Teleshopping

4.05 Agatha Christie’s: Seven Dials Mystery 7.00 Dempsey and Makepeace 8.00 Those Were the Days: 1966 World Cup 9.00 FILM: The Last Tycoon (1976) 11.30 PD James: Death of an Expert Witness (x2)1.35 The Beiderbecke Connection (x2) 3.15 The Wonder Years 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus

8.55am Roswell 9.45 Kevin Hill 10.35 Dark Angel 11.30 Roswell 12.20pm Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 1.20 Big Brother: Live 4.15 Friends (x2) 5.25 Big Brother 6.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.30 Friends (x2) 9.00 Wife Swap 10.00 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 11.00 Shameless 12.10am Big Brother: Live

1.50pm The Coach Trip (x5) 4.35 Come Dine with Me (x5) 7.25 Jamie at Home 7.55 Hugh’s Chicken Run 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 10.00 The Human Spider 11.10 Father Ted 11.45 Father Ted 12.15am Brass Eye 12.45 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 1.45 The Human Spider

3.45pm The Fix 3.50 Maury (x2) 5.30 The Jerry Springer Show 6.00 RSPCA Animal Rescue (x2) 7.00 The Millionaire Matchmaker 8.00 Diet on the Dancefloor 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 Ibiza 12.00am Charmed 1.00 Criminal Minds 2.00 Maury 2.55 The Fix 3.00 Close to Home

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.50pm FILM: Carry On Henry (1971) 4.35 What a Carry On! 5.00 FILM: Carry On Loving (1970) 6.40 What A Carry On! 7.15 FILM: Carry On Henry (1971) 9.00 FILM: AI: Artificial Intelligence (2001) 11.45 Jonathan Creek 1.00am FILM: Carry On Spying (1964) 2.35 Icons 2.40 My Hero (x2)

6.00am QVC: Shopping Made Easy 9.00 Becker (x24 9.00pm Scrubs 9.30 Everybody Hates Chris 10.00 Lee Evans Live – Different Planet Tour 11.30 Last Comic Standing 1.30am The Frank Skinner Show 2.30 Becker (x5) 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life in Film (x2) 5.10 Becker (x2)

6.00pm How do They do It? (x2) 7.00 Survivorman 8.00 Challenger: Countdown to Disaster 9.00 I Killed John Lennon 10.00 A Haunting 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA: Body of Evidence 12.30 Crime Scene USA: North Mission Road 1.00 Psychic Witness

3.40pm The Making of Tin Man 4.10 FILM: Locusts: Day Of Destruction (2005) 6.00 The Flash Gordon Story 7.00 Flash Gordon 8.00 Who Wants to be a Superhero? (x2) 10.00 FILM: Event Horizon (1997) 11.50 FILM: Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1994) 2.10am Ghost Stories (x2)

Classics

Indie

10.25am Rio Grande (1950) 12.15pm The High And The Mighty (1954) 2.45 The Apartment (1960) 4.55 Some Like It Hot (1959) 7.00 The Enemy Below (1957) 8.45 Patton (1970) 11.35 The Pawnbroker (1965) 1.35am Some Like It Hot (1959) 3.40 Wait Until Dark (1967)

10.35am When We Were Kings (1996) 12.05pm Babel (2006) 2.30 This Boy’s Life (1993) 4.25 Still Crazy (1998) 6.05 Letters From Iwo Jima (2006) 8.30 When We Were Kings (1996) 10.00 Babel (2006) 12.25am Brotherhood (2004) 3.00 Still Crazy (1998)

1.00pm Thunderbird Six (1968) 2.45 The Man In The Iron Mask (1977) 4.45 Donovan’s Reef (1963) 7.00 The Perfect Catch (2005) 9.00 Zoolander (2001) 10.40 Shopgirl (2005) 12.40am The Godless Girl (1929) 3.05 Close

10.45am Action In The North Atlantic (1943) 1.00pm Somewhere I’ll Find You (1942) 3.00 Rebel Without A Cause (1955) 5.00 The Merry Widow (1952) 6.55 Rhapsody (1954) 9.00 The GoBetween (1970) 11.15 Savage Messiah (1972) 1.05am How The West Was Won (1962)

000_L7_TV_Mon

7/18/08

10:20 AM

Page 1

monday 28 Dragons’ Den BBC2, 9pm They’re back for series six. Be afraid – be very afraid – as the mad, sad and occasionally kinda grand inventors line up in the den in an attempt to persuade the multi-millionaires to part with a big pile of dosh. This week, a ley lines duvet to help you get a good night’s sleep. I bet you can’t guess how that went down…

Can’t Read, Can’t Write Channel 4, 9pm Did you know over 5million adults have a reading and writing age of 12 or less? This new series sees controversial and award-winning teacher Phil Beadle try to redress the balance a little bit. Brilliant and moving stuff as nine illiterate adults embark on a six-month journey of a lifetime.

Arena: Cab Driver BBC4, 12.45am This documentary film eavesdrops in the cabmen’s shelter in Russell Square and explores the stories of five extraordinary cabbies. This goes well beyond the average tenminute journey to unearth the soul of the London cab driver.

But will it be so brave as to go south of the river?

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Step Up To The Plate 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 Skunk Fu 4.05 Roar 4.30 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.35 Grange Hill 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Bob The Builder 7.10 Lunar Jim 7.20 Little Robots 7.30 Louie 7.40 Pingu 7.45 Sesame Tree 8.00 Secret Show 8.15 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 8.35 Freefonix 9.00 Raven 9.25 MySay 9.30 Adventure Florida 10.00 Get 100 10.30 & 10.55 The Flintstones 11.20 FILM: The Island On Bird Street (1997) 1pm Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Living In The Sun 2.30 Castle In The Country 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Eating With The Enemy 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Battle Of The Brains 6.30 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan presents the geek fest, as a team tries to beat the smug ones to win a tidy sum of money.

7.00 Made In England Artists, writers and musicians explore England and explain what their corner of the country means to them.

Jazz musician Courtney Pine heads for Holy Island in Northumberland.

7.30 Return To… Castaway 8.00 University Challenge University of Surrey v University of Warwick.

8.30 Chinese Food Made Easy Ching-He Huang explores the fashionable world of noodles, dim sum and dumplings.

9.00 Dragons’ Den See highlights 10.00 Would I Lie To You? Comedy panel show hosted by Angus Deayton.

10.30 Newsnight The stories behind the day’s headlines with Emily Maitlis.

11.20 Tribal Wives Six women live for a month with six different tribes.

12.20am Ellery Queen Author and amateur detective Ellery Queen attempts to solve another murder.

A man has been bludgeoned to death by a valuable piece of object d’art.

Ellery and his father cut short a fishing trip to find the murderer.

1.10 Joins BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Inspector Morse 5.00 Golden Balls

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Friends 9.30 Friends 9.55 ER 10.55 Without A Trace 11.45 Grudge Match 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 The Class 12.55 Will and Grace 1.20 Will and Grace 1.45 Desperate Housewives 2.35 Desperate Housewives 3.30 A Place By The Sea 4.30 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Richard And Judy

7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Mio Mao 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.50 Roobarb And Custard Too 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Put Your Money Where Your House Is 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Flood: A River’s Rampage (1997) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home and Away Ric’s temper gets the better of him.

6.30 Wild Animal ER Documentary series based at Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital. Tonight Hoot the baby owl learns to fly.

7.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 7.30 How Do They Do It? Series examining the feats of science and engineering behind everyday life.

8.00 The Gadget Show Consumer technology show presented by Jason Bradbury, Suzi Perry, Jon Bentley and Dallas Campbell. Jon finds out how to keep abreast of current events while on the go.

9.00 Banged Up Documentary series in which ten youths spend ten days in prison. With two days remaining in the experiment, the inmates must prove to the parole board that they have sworn off a life of crime.

10.00 CCTV Cities Series revealing real-life footage of urban crime, 11.05 FILM: Hang ‘Em High (1968) Starring Clint Eastwood. When an innocent man barely survives a lynching, he returns determined to bring the vigilantes to justice.

1.15am NASCAR: Sprint Cup. 1.45 USPGA Golf Tour .

2.35 NHRA Drag Racing 4.00 Rolex Grand Am. 4.40 V8 Supercars.

5.10 Wildlife SOS 5.35 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 NASCAR: Allstate 400 At The Brickyard 11.30 Showjumping 1.30pm NASCAR: Allstate 400 At The Brickyard 4.00 LIVE Pro40 League 10.00 Where Are They Now? 10.30 Golf: Sir Bobby Robson Golf Classic 12.30am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 World Motor Sport 4.00 Athletics: The Great Capital Run 4.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.30 FEI Equestrian World

6.00 BBC News National and international news; weather.

6.30 South East Today; Weather Local news, sport, weather.

7.00 The One Show With Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley.

7.30 After You’ve Gone Jimmy reveals feelings no-one knew he had.

7.57 BBC News and Regional News National and regional news.

8.00 EastEnders Sean Slater gears up to play Jack Nicholson in a remake of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest as his secret is revealed.

8.30 Panorama Current affairs presented by Jeremy Vine. High fuel prices are affecting all of us; what are the alternatives?

9.00 New Tricks Ex-Old Bill are rolled out to crack unsolved crimes.

10.00 BBC News National and international news.

10.25 South East Today; Weather Local news, sport, weather.

10.33 BBC Weather .

10.35 River Police Series following the work of the Thames River Police.

11.05 FILM: Frida (2002). Biopic of the controversial life of artist Frida Kahlo.

1.00am Weatherview.

1.05 Sign Zone: Cars, Cops And Criminals 2.05 Olympic Dreams 2.50 Britain’s Lost World 3.50 Joins BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight Regional news, sport and weather.

6.30 ITV Evening News and Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Lisa warns Sam against pursuing Jo. That’s told him.

7.30 Coronation Street John is still in hot pusuit of the ginger whinger as Fiz keeps him dangling.

More presents! You can buy love, if you spend enough.

8.00 Holiday Homes Hard Sell: Jonathan Maitland explores the marketing of homes abroad.

8.30 Coronation Street Ken bleedin’ Bar-flippin-low is digging out his old novel. Hang on, Booker Prize judges! we’ve got a late entrant!

9.00 Police, Camera, Action Alastair Stewart takes a look at in-car gadgets.

10.00 News At Ten And Weather National and regional news.

10.40 FILM: Jaws (1975) Starring Roy Scheider. Is there anyone on the planet who hasn’t seen this snaphappy tale of a rather large shark and its days out at the seaside?

1.00am Wright Across America Wild biker Nicky Bootz and Ian Wright set off to cross America.

1.50 British Touring Car Championship 2.40 Hack. US drama series 3.30 Loose Women .

4.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Amy is in a mess.

Darren is in turmoil. Russ bumps into a stressed Tina. What fun.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder Short films on the greatest archives in the world and the buildings that house them.

8.00 Dispatches: Sandwiches Unwrapped Channel 4 News presenter Alex Thompson investigates the British sandwich industry.

9.00 Can’t Read, Can’t Write See highlights 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours. Who’s been rowing with who. And have they won the the right to booze? And other stuff has more than likely happened. If you care about this sort of thing.

11.05 Walliams and Lucas: New Heroes Of Comedy A profile of David Walliams and Matt Lucas, two of the most successful comedians of the modern age.

12.10am 4 Music: Pussycat Dolls: Video Exclusive First screening of the video for the Pussycat Dolls’ new single.

12.15 Adele performs songs from her number one album 19, and chats to Nick Grimshaw.

12.50 Big Brother Live 2.50 FILM: Re-Animator (1985) .

4.20 St Elsewhere Hospital.

5.10 Richard And Judy

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Golf Night 11.00 Tennis: ATP Toronto Masters 1.00pm Golf Night 4.00 Golf: Sir Bobby Robson Golf Classic 6.00 Wild Spirits 6.30 Athletics: The Great Capital Run 7.00 Where Are They Now? 7.30 LIVE Elite League Speedway 9.30 World Motor Sport 12.00am Elite League Speedway 2.00 Athletics: The Great Capital Run 2.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 10.30am Seamaster Sailing 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Max Power 1.00 Watersports World 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 Seamaster Sailing 3.00 Showjumping 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 FEI Equestrian World 7.30 Sports Adventures 8.00 Golf: Sir Bobby Robson Golf Classic 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

4.00pm Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Gladiators 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Night Cops 10.00 Road Wars 11.00 Inside: The Prison Code 12.00am Street Wars 1.00 Championship Gaming Series 2.15 Road Wars 2.40 Stargate Atlantis 3.30 Las Vegas 4.20 Rescue Me

8.00pm Trexx And Flipside 8.30 Snog Marry Avoid?

9.00 When Beauty Goes Wrong 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Mighty Boosh 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 When Beauty Goes Wrong 12.45am Snog Marry Avoid? 1.15 Trexx And Flipside 1.45 The Mighty Boosh 2.15 Make My Body Younger

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Proms 2008: Beethoven And Elliott Carter 9.15 The Lost World 10.30 The Lost World 11.45 Travellers’ Century 12.45am Arena: Cab Driver.

See highlights 1.45 Proms 2008: Beethoven And Elliott Carter 3.30 Travellers’ Century 4.15 Close

3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 ITunes Festival 2008 7.30 The Office: An American Workplace 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 FILM: Love Actually (2003) 11.40 Latitude 2008 12.40am Coronation Street (x2) 1.40 ITunes Festival 2008

3.45pm Those Were The Days: 1966 World Cup 4.45 P D James: Black Tower 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Home To Roost 7.25 Home To Roost 8.00 Rising Damp (x2) 9.00 P D James: Black Tower 10.00 Numb3rs 11.00 Clocking Off 12.00am Rising Damp 12.30 Film File 12.40 Latitude 2008 1.10 PD James ˚

11.30am Gilmore Girls 12.25pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 FILM: Broken Arrow (1996) 12.05am Big Brother: Live

3.45pm Time Team 4.50 Relocation, Relocation 5.55 Selling Houses 6.25 Selling Houses 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Queen Victoria’s Men 10.35 The Victorian Sex Explorer 11.40 Without A Trace 12.40am Third Watch 1.40 Alive

4.00pm Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 7.55 The Fix 8.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 9.00 Make Me A Supermodel US 10.00 Hotel Babylon 11.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.05am Ghost Whisperer 1.00 Make Me A Supermodel US

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

6.20pm Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Fawlty Towers 10.20 The Worst Week Of My Life 11.00 The Catherine Tate Show 11.40 Fawlty Towers 12.20am The Worst Week Of My Life 1.00 The Catherine Tate Show ˚

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x4) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.50am Badly Dubbed Porn 1.20 The Job 1.50 Shortcuts Shuffle

6.00pm American Chopper 7.00 How It’s Made 7.30 How Do They Do It? 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 How Stuff’s Made (x2) 10.00 Hot Rod Apprentice: Hard Shine 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA: Missing Persons Unit 12.30 Crime Scene USA: Suburban Secrets 1.00 Most Evil

12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Solar Attack (2005) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Quantum Leap 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Universal Soldier II: Brothers In Arms (1998) 11.50 Heroes 12.50am FILM: Spirit Trap

Classics

Indie

3.40pm Saturday Night And Sunday Morning (1960) 5.15 Look Back In Anger (1958) 7.00 The Desperate Hours (1955) 9.00 Cahill, United States Marshal (1973) 10.45 Funeral In Berlin (1966) 12.30am The Night Of The Hunter (1955) 2.15 Look Back In Anger (1958)

9.00am Factotum (2005) 10.40 The Host (2006) 12.50pm Days Of Glory (2005) 3.00 Indie Close-Up 3.30 Wilde (1997) 5.30 Volver (2006) 7.35 Seven Swords (2005) 10.00 The Host (2006) 12.05am Repo Man (1984) 1.50 35mm 2.25 Dad Savage (1998) 4.25 Indie Close-Up

1.00pm The Wicked Lady (1945) 3.00 Green For Danger (1946) 4.50 Night Train To Munich (1940) 6.45 Tea With Mussolini (1999) 9.00 School Of Rock (2003) 11.05 Bad News Bears (2005) 1.20am Waking Life (2001) 3.30 Close

11.05am Dark Victory (1939) 1.00pm Clarissa 3.00 The Go-Between (1970) 5.10 Billy Rose’s Jumbo (1962) 7.25 The Honeymoon Machine (1961) 9.00 Coma (1978) 11.05 The Man Who Laughs (1966) 12.55am Elvis On Tour (1972) 2.40 That’s Entertainment, Part 2 (1976)