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8/1/08
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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.latest7.co.uk
★ jobs ★ cars ★ news ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 5 – 11 August 2008
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8/1/08
10:55 AM
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Contents
Welcome
★ latest jobs 4
Rachel’s off enjoying the sunshine this week, but for the rest of us, we are back with another fab, packed issue of Latest 7. The hottest news isn’t the soaring temperatures we’ve been seeing over the past week but two fantastic music festivals that are just around the corner! We take an in-depth look at Beachdown in our very special cover feature (p33) and get all excited for the line-up at Loop (p29). If you haven’t booked your tickets yet, find out how in our music section. Don’t you just love August? The music festivals are in full swing and there’s a celebration of a different kind going on – Brighton Pride. In our regular Latest Gay section, we report on all the fun from the Battle of the Balls (p35). In Latest News, Phil Mills reports on a theft of a new kind. As the cost of living rises, thieves are targeting oil tanks outside people’s homes (p13). In other news, praise is given to those who took the plunge for local children’s charity Rockinghorse in the Bungee on the Beach event (p12). Alison’s also been on the beach but without a bungee harness. She could do with some support though, when she’s on the receiving end of an angry tirade against her dogs. Read her full story on page 7. It’s an exciting time for football fans as the new season approaches. It’s a fresh start for the Seagulls, with a new kit, new signings and an (old) new manager. All we need now is Falmer! Peter Knight previews Brighton and Hove Albion’s 08/09 season in Latest Sport on page 15. Model Sandra has been enjoying recent success but let’s us in on a rare look backstage, where cat fights and loneliness reign. It’s not all glamour, that’s for sure (p15). This Thursday, the most attractive place to be isn’t on the catwalk but Ladies Day at Brighton Racecourse. Find out more in events on page 26. If you already have your ticket but still need to get your outfit, Harriet Hoff lends a helping hand in our Ladies Day fashion special (p19). In health, I take time out to look at the healing benefits of a massage after suffering with a sore neck. Read more about making essential ‘me time’ on page 15. Once rested, it’s time to head straight back out – to the cinema to be precise, as the summer blockbusters arrive in waves. We have all the pictures and news from the gala red carpet premiere of The Dark Knight at the Duke of York’s (p25). If you haven’t seen the latest Batman film yet, check out our listings for local screenings (p24), but make it soon as the new Mummy, Hellboy and The X Files Movie are also on their way! If stage shows are more your cup of tea, Andrew Kay previews the latest offerings from local theatres on page 23. Be sure to catch The Upper Hand star Joe McGann appearing in Fiddler on the Roof. Whew! See you next week with all the best bits from Pride 2008.
★ latest listings 21–43
4 Opportunity awaits with Personnel Selection, Wired Sussex and more
★ latest upfront 6–10 6 Social diary: all the news and pictures from the opening of 30 The Drive
6 Win special gifts and tickets for the premiere of a very special opera
7 Alison’s happy day at the beach is dampened by a tirade against dogs
8 Dani’s diary: it’s a week of discovery 9 Celeb city: seeing red and the bit of Lennon that went for £25,000
21 Reviews and listings index We tell it like it was: shows reviewed
22 Comedy Victoria finds happy times in a smoke-free comedy venue
09
22 Books Recommended summer reads
23 Stage The Upper Hand star Joe McGann in Fiddler on the Roof, plus listings
24 Film A chat with the director of Donkey Punch, Olly Blackburn, plus film times and The Dark Knight event
26 Art Ken Garland’s remote beach
10 Bare cheek: Ray from Reef Radio brings news from the other side
★ latest news 12–14 12 News round up with charity events, the council and latest RSPCA stats
13 Phil Mills discovers a new crime fuelling rage between residents
26 Kids and Events Rural Day at St Ann’s Well Gardens and a day at the races
27 Music
24
Restlesslist chat to Nick Aldwinckle, plus previews of summer music and a special look at the Loop festival Brighton Latest Download Chart
TOP
40
14 Letters and sports: why the circus isn’t all fun, and Peter Knight looks forward to the Albion’s new season
★ latest lifestyle 15–19 15 Health: take time out for a massage 15 Model city: what model life’s really like 16 Food: Andrew heads to Sabai and new patisserie Cocoa for a good feed
19 Fashion: frocks for Ladies’ Day
33 Cover story Get ready for Beachdown!
33 Clubs and music listings All the gigs and club nights to go to
34 Gay Listings, Pride celebration news and Will Tells gets a shock
36 Television Dani contemplates a world without words after watching the new show Can’t Read, Can’t Write
27 33
21 17 01273
818150
Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith
Editor Rachel Pegg
Business Director Angi Mariani
Assistant Editor Zara Baker
Creative Director Andrew Kay
Website Manager Paul Burgess
Production Director Fiona McTernan
Music Editor Jeff Hemmings
Finance Manager Sharon Caple
Chief Sub Editor Alison Swann
Art Director Stephen King
Listings Editor Nick Aldwinckle
Production Manager Neil Ive
Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi
Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Staff Writers Craig Driver Katie Glass Dani Winch Designers Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Faye Perriam Steve Sawyer Sub Editors Joe Curtin Melina Greenfield Tristan Parker
Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Sales Lucy Kamper Sophie Longhurst Marie Viviani Administration Claire Peerless Sara Henfridsson
Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH
Last week’s cover shot Photography – Pete Ridge Contact : studio@ridgephotography.com Make-up, Styling and Conception – Sean Chapman
Zara Baker Latest 7 Assistant Editor latest 7 3
004_LS384_jobads
7/30/08
3:54 PM
Page 2
latest
jobs
Call Marie on 01273 818150 ext 102
Property Recruitment Specialists
Top Media Jobs
Try something new… Our clients require an on-line portal sales specialist to sign up Estate Agents to their rapidly expanding high premium property site. Re-launched last year this is an exciting opportunity to help shape and grow this important revenue stream of advertising.
Community and Content Manager – Virgin Atlantic Your focus will be on growing the online community. This will involve everything from engaging with it and creating enticing viral campaigns to grow it further to constantly evolving the site to keep it fresh, relevant and full of surprises.
Successful candidates must have property related experience and or on-line portal sales experience. You should be driven in sales and a high achiever that wants to surpass expectations! Initially this will be a six months fixed term contract. Five day working week with a high remuneration package.
Head of Marketing and Content – Virgin Atlantic You’ll take care of everything from marketing the site to creating a content strategy to engage and inspire its users. It’ll be a totally blank canvas, so you’ll need to come armed with plenty of ideas.
This position will be based at their HQ five minutes walk from Blackfriars Bridge by the Thames, London. Contact us now to apply.
Database developer – TimeAct Solutions We're looking for a knowledgeable, technically competent and enthusiastic database developer to join our team to support both our internal operations and our customers.
Web Analytics Specialist – Omega Digital Media Ltd We require a candidate to provide consultation for implementation, report analysis/interpretation and customer training. This will be delivered both in person and remotely.
Online PR Account Director – NixonMcInnes To bring traditional PR skills and experiences which can be immersed in our digital hotshop to together create and deliver a suite of cutting-edge online PR services.
everyone has a price on their head
to maximize your potential call us now on:
0845 130 1188 fax 0845 130 1189
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web www.lca-jobs.com
Account & PR Manager – Zerofiftyone Limited We are looking for a flexible, professional and intelligent person who has great organisational skills. You must possess good client facing presentation skills.
Senior Sales Executive – Oban Multilingual Our speciality in international search and search engine optimisation combined with our years of experience with website localisation means that we can offer a unique international marketing service. This role requires you to sell multilingual search engine marketing (SEM) and search engine optimisation (SEO) products to businesses.
.NET Developer – Nexus Internet Solutions .NET developer sought to create and maintain bespoke web-based applications and information systems. Nexus has a friendly and inclusive culture that rewards inventiveness and resourcefulness. We offer a great salary.
Are you looking to recruit? Are you looking to expand your digital media business and recruit new staff? Wired Sussex can help. Our jobs board is viewed by over 10,000 digital media hopefuls every month, plus all job posters get to search through our CV database. Interested? Call Luke at Wired Sussex today to find out more: 01273 692 888
4 latest jobs
hundreds of jobs every week
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7/30/08
4:06 PM
Page 1
latest
jobs
Call Marie on 01273 818150 ext 102
Recruitment Consultant
Payroll Administrator
Brighton – £18k + Comm
Brighton - £25k
We currently have a vacancy for a Commercial Perms Consultant to cover maternity within our successful recruitment agency in the heart of Brighton. You will ideally have some experience within a recruitment environment but most importantly you will be target-driven and money-hungry!
A brand new call centre in Brighton is looking for a Payroll administrator with SAGE to join their very new team! You will look after the entire payroll process of a fast expanding call-centre. A comprehensive knowledge of PAYE and Tax legislation is required.
Data-entry Clerk Brighton – £12–£13k Are you extremely fast at typing? Our client has relaxed offices in the heart of Brighton and due to continuing expansion they are currently looking for 2 x data-entry clerks to join their team! You will need to have a good level of speed and accuracy.
Part-time Administrator Brighton £7.50ph We have a vacancy for an Administrator to cover maternity within our recruitment agency in the heart of Brighton. This is a very varied position and a great opportunity to test your multi-tasking skills!
Call-Centre Agents £7.00 - £11.00ph Are you target driven and motivated by money? If you have a confident telephone manner and enjoy earning lots of money, we are looking for
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part-time and full-time call centre to join an established, lively team. The company is based in the heart of Brighton and offers a fun and lively environment.
Resourcer Brighton – £16k Our client is a well established IT Recruitment Consultancy in Brighton, looking for a resourcer to support their recruitment consultants. This company offers an impressive training package and the opportunity to rise to consultancy within a year offering a much larger salary.
Call Centre Trainer Brighton – £23k A brand new call centre in Brighton currently has an opening for a call centre trainer to develop and monitor staff performance and quality levels. You will need to have a proven ability within a call centre training environment to include managing induction programmes and writing course material.
latest jobs 5
006_LS384_Diary/Comps
7/31/08
10:48 AM
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LATESTDIARY
COMPETITIONS
latestdiary
IN IT TO WIN IT
With Tim Richardson
Win tickets to the opera premiere Ellen Kent and Amphitheatre Productions present Carmen and Tosca at the Eastbourne Congress
Alex Carlton (Ocean Wave Pilates) Paul McLinden (Director. Ocean Wave Pilates, Max Lobatto (Ocean Wave Pilates)
Angela Small (Natural Balance Therapies), Marie Shelton
This September, Ellen Kent and Amphitheatre Productions will bring a touch of the Rome to Eastbourne Congress and you could be at the premiere! The two brand new productions are Tosca – to premiere on Friday 5 September at 7.30pm and Carmen – to premiere on Saturday 6 September at 7.30pm and Sunday 7 September at 3pm. Performed in a grand amphitheatre setting designed by Will Bowen, these new productions of Carmen and Tosca will be directed by Ellen Kent. Performances come from stars who have been handpicked, international soloists and the full Chisinau National Philharmonic Orchestra and Chorus. This is Carmen as you have never seen it before, staged in a bullring to add a new and spectacular twist to Bizet’s famous and seductive opera. Carmen’s premiere at the Eastbourne Congress Theatre follows on from performances at Leeds Castle in Kent. For this touring show, theatres all over the UK and Ireland will be transformed into a Spanish spectacular reminiscent of the real bullrings in Spain with flamenco dancers, bull fighters and a brass band parading through the venue. (Sung in French with English surtitles). Premiering on Friday 5 September, the same company present Tosca, the tale of true love, torture and treachery set against the backdrop of the Colosseum in Rome. In the era of the Napoleonic wars, this spectacular Roman setting heightens the treachery and corruption of the period with two of the best roles for tenor and soprano and a blood curdling villain for the baritone. (Performed in Italian with English surtitles). Here is your chance to win tickets and goodies to see either Carmen or Tosca premiere at the Congress Theatre, Eastbourne this September. 1st prize: • A pair of tickets to see Carmen’s premiere on Saturday 6 September • A bottle of award winning Russian Methode Champagne. • An embroidered jewellery box • An opera poster • A glossy, souvenir programme One runner up prize: • A pair of tickets to see Tosca’s premiere on Friday 5 September • A glossy, souvenir programme For your chance to win tickets to the premiere of Carmen and Tosca in Eastbourne, tell us: Which famous Roman backdrop is Tosca set against? See below for entry details.
Mark Alexander (Natural Balance Therapies), Jennifer Neal (Ora Fitness), Helen Thorpe (Sussex Travel Clinic), Jane Bell (Sussex Travel Clinic)
30 The Drive launch On Friday 25 July, 30 The Drive held an afternoon of free consultations and great giveaways. 12 of Brighton and Hove’s top healthcare companies including: Natural Balance Therapies, Sussex Travel Clinic, Ocean Wave Pilates, Feet and more, can all be found under one roof as are Hove’s new centre for therapeutic massage, Pilates, personal training and fitness, cognitive behaviour therapy, travel health advice and immunisation, homeopathy, chiropody and podiatry, reflexology, hypnotherapy, hypnobirthing, cosmetic surgery, male waxing and skincare. Wine for the event was supplied by Barefoot wines. 6 latest 7
To be in with a chance of winning, email: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘Carmen’ in the subject box. Leave your answer to the question in the body of the email, along with your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Entrants must be aged 18+.Closing date for entries: Monday 18 Aug 2008.
007_LS384_Alison/xword
7/31/08
1:28 PM
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ALISON’SCOLUMN
See more at latest7.co.uk
What Alison did Alison Swann pays her bi-annual visit to the beach and finds it heated down by the water
Hot in the city
One of my dogs is not big on children, so we keep him close and on the lead, while the other is tried-and-tested bomb proof with kids and wants nothing more than to spend her afternoon running into the sea after a ball. After a couple of hours, said ball-obsessed dog had made best friends with two little kids, who were having great fun chucking the ball for her and I was definitely starting to look a lot less less like a corpse.
“It was high time I toasted my blue Viking skin and looked less like I was auditioning for a non-speaking role in Waking the Dead”
Here in Brighton it’s not just mad dogs and Englishmen who go out in the midday sun – no, it’s a tools down scenario all over the city as we all head and spread on the beach. Ah, the beach – the reason so many of us fell in love with Brighton, and the place where, after your first blissed-out summer, you’ll probably only end up going twice a year. Once when your relatives hit town and you are forced to look like you are enjoying Dolphin Derby on the pier (actually that isn’t hard, it’s the bloody upside-down ride thing that I haven’t a good word to say about). And the second, when, after moaning yourself stupid about the weather for most of the year, the sun suddenly rears up and you start peeking at your blue skin and thinking it wouldn’t look so bad in swimwear. So that’s what I did last weekend. I abandoned driving my desk as it was high time I toasted my blue Viking skin and looked less like I was auditioning for a non-speaking role in Waking the Dead. I even went in the sea, which I’ve avoided for years after hearing far too many tales about unseemly additions to the water. It was, however, totally lush, warm and clean. (Although I have still yet to master the ability to manoeuvre over pebbles without looking like I’m blind drunk. It does occur to me that if you were blind drunk and trying to make said manoeuvre, would you look exactly the same? Probably.) So, my mates and I made camp for the afternoon on the so-called dog-friendly beaches up by the large groyne at the bottom of Dukes Mound. This was due to the inclusion in our party of two of the four-legged furry creatures, who do enjoy a bit of seabased action when they have to deal with the blistering heat.
I then got up to walk with my dog back into the sea – once again staggering around like an old lush. When suddenly a woman started screaming at me. This got the attention of the packed beach, something I’m not against, but not under these circumstances. She was yelling at me for having two dogs on the beach, all the while thrusting her phone manically in my direction, threatening to ring the council and get me fined. All the while this was going on, her two children, aged about ten, were sat on either side of her looking like they were going to burst into tears. Not because my dogs had done anything (they were nowhere near them), but because they were so embarrassed at their mother’s aggressive behaviour. I calmly informed the woman that this was a dog-friendly beach and told her to go ahead and ring the council. She ranted on and I walked away, figuring the mad woman with children wasn’t going to suddenly whip out her pipe of peace and discuss the merits of doggy loving on any level. As we wrapped up for the day my Scottish-bred mate was all for going over and dumping the contents of the doggy poop bags I’d collected earlier that day in the women’s handbag, but I figured leaving the beach with bags of peace and love, man, was the only thing to do on such a beautiful day.
Comments, queries and general chitchat can be sent to: letters@thelatest.co.uk
latestcrossword Cryptic 155 ACROSS 5 Bird used in leisure pursuit (5) 8 Food found in rubbish container (8) 9 Record produced in rebuilt milk house (5) 10 He paints a version of “The Pretender” (8) 11 Negative result of having a short time with you and me (5) 14 Device for securing a woman (3) 16 The colour of fruit (6) 17 Indian father in pain (6) 18 Bet partly on the joker (3) 20 Wise men with a hundred tricks (5) 24 Materialist Scot with a gin cocktail (8) 25 Silenced by submerging the ends in wet earth (5) 26 A controversial substance from a minor planet (8) 27 John Paul Getty's extremes in projection (5)
solutions on page 30
Quick 155 DOWN 1 The noisiest vessels, it is said (5) 2 Girl comes up with something worthwhile (5) 3 Photo-finish in which performance is judged on the line (5) 4 Reverence due when Homer starts to get older (6) 6 Novel kind of exam – one has a drink in the middle (8) 7 In Cuba, hero finds carriage overturned (8) 12 Animal that’s oddly cute and rare (8) 13 Event determined by the way ally gets lost (8) 14 Some alloy for the bench (3) 15 The silencer is a joke (3) 19 It’s majestic for the time of year (6) 21 Let's start again, sweetheart (5) 22 Lean forward to get pillar of coal (5) 23 Sweep along with nothing but an old coin (5)
ACROSS 5 Take illegally (5) 8 Trustworthy (8) 9 Brisk (5) 10 Gracefulness (8) 11 Boasts (5) 14 Poem (3) 16 Message (6) 17 Embellishes (6) 18 Go wrong (3) 20 Watercourse (5) 24 Unmarried woman (8) 25 Mutilates (5) 26 Having original ideas (8) 27 Begin (5)
DOWN 1 Move slowly (5) 2 Foreign (5) 3 Tracking device (5) 4 Thinly cut (6) 6 Future time (8) 7 Overbearing (8) 12 Faltering (8) 13 Ribbon (8) 14 Mineral (3) 15 Listening device (3) 19 Account (6) 21 Skulk (5) 22 Steps (5) 23 Welcome (5)
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008_LS384_angi/dani
7/31/08
11:32 AM
Page 2
EMOTIONS
Eminemmylou Hi, I’m Eminemmylou, throwin’ lyrics at you. This week with Felipe Hewlett
Seeking Love in España When on a winding road with outstretched hand, hitching to a seaside with golden sand, hoping to meet a señorita lying by the edge of Spain’s mainland. I ponder to myself, I’ll not turn back from the chance of sincere kisses, with a stunning Latin missus. ‘Straights’ and ‘shrinks’ may laugh and hiss, but I know it’s not fantasy but the sweet dream like thoughts of natural bliss.
The Artist Model The artist model; I’m vain and conceited prepared to be seated, but not in Parliament that’s for the Commons.
Send rhymes and a pic to: eminemmylou@thelatest.co.uk For more rhymes check out myspace.com/eminemmylou
Dani’s diary Dani goes on a voyage of discovery into her grandmother’s fridge where she busts a secret stash What have you discovered today? I have discovered that I sweat from one armpit slightly more than the other. Bit random I know, but I am feeling a bit odd about it. Does this mean I need to apply double the deodorant to that one arm? After a long, hard jog will I have lopsided sweat patches? Does this affect the hair growth in that certain armpit? As you can tell I have had so little else in my head that I have managed to create a mountain out of a mole hill. The second thing I have discovered is that my friend Helen has the loudest flip-flops in the kingdom. There was not a formal competition, no umpire or panel or judges, only my boredom. Which decided the fate of her flip-flops. I think she was pleased with the decision. I would have been. It’s great to win. I also discovered that your handbag is generally not a good place to put your fruit. After a morning picking a perfectly plump pear and a banana at the turning point (which is when I like them) I pop them in my handbag to eat them for lunch or a late morning snack. But once I arrive at work I find they have exploded into some kind of fruit cocktail mush all over my book, phone and pot of hand cream. The strange thing is that it has taken me seven months to work out that perhaps I should carry my fruit in a different bag to my other items.
“Upon opening the fridge to retrieve the milk I was confronted by 40 packets of Cathedral City” I discovered that no matter how hard we try not to, me and my sister will always get sunburnt instantly after stepping out of the shade into the sun. It does not matter how high a factor and how much sun cream we put on, we will always look like lobsters. One of my favourite discoveries was that I can justify almost any amount of money I have spent. Which isn’t good by any means but it also means that I don’t feel too bad about having spent a small fortune on a snazzy new pair of glasses. Which are great, by the way. I also became aware that watching old people eat grapes makes me feel a bit funny. I have absolutely no idea why and I realise it sounds completely insane but it makes me feel weird. I totally understand that when I am really old I will from time to time enjoy eating a grape and that others might look at me and potentially think the same and I don’t mind. And I equally don’t mind that people think I am a lot more weirder than already estimated. My overall greatest discovery however, was of my grandmother’s cheese stash. Upon opening the fridge to retrieve the milk for our teas I was confronted by roughly 40 packets of Cathedral City cheese. The entire fridge was full of cheese, with only just the space for a pint of milk. When we asked why she had so much she simply replied, “It was on offer!” – you can see where I get it from now can’t you?
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009_LS384_celebcity
7/30/08
1:13 PM
Page 1
AROUNDTOWN
Celebcity
sponsored by The Whip
with Jo Brooks
Red all over EastEnders favourite red-heads spotted in town plus The Whip have a celeb fan Flame haired EastEnders actress Patsy Palmer painted the town red last week when she stepped out with fellow actors, Charlie Clements, who plays Bradley, and Jake Wood, who plays love rat Max Branning in the long running soap. They were spotted having dinner in fave London hangout, The Ivy. Who said red heads are in a minority! Clearly the three have bonded on and off set. Brighton-based Patsy made a welcome return to the soap earlier this year to play alongside another Sussex resident, actor Sid Owen, who plays love interest Ricky. Still on the subject of Patsy, the actress had a hand in naming the new arrival from the Zilli household. Twiggy was born last week to chef Aldo and his wife Nikki.
Michael Stipe, fan of The Whip Manchester band The Whip, who are supporting FatBoy Slim at his forthcoming beach gig in September, have a celebrity fan. None other than REM frontman Michael Stipe, who is one of their biggest admirers. I am told he frequently pops up in their gigs. Singer Bruce said: “I’ve seen Michael a few times in the audience. It’s mad, our roadie pointed him out, saying, he’s just out there. We played in Texas and he came to see us twice.“ We’ll keep our eyes peeled at the gig!
Lennon auction A rare catalogue signed by John Lennon made £25,000 last week, when it was auctioned in Lewes. The book contained sketches by the singer, including one of his wife Yoko Ono. The original drawings from the catalogue were originally confiscated by the Police, as they were deemed too risqué in the late sixties.
Dreamy Denise Hove resident Denise Van Outen has quit her early morning radio show. The ex-Big Breakfast star has said in a newspaper interview, that she is just too exhausted to juggle getting up early with all her telly projects. She has resigned after just five months co-hosting the Capital Radio breakfast show, with old Big Breakfast presenter pal, Johnny Vaughn. Denise, who has a house in Hove, is currently dating Joseph winner, Lee Mead. The couple have been spotted looking loved up in Brighton just last weekend. Get some sleep Denise!
Sid Owen and Patsy Palmer
Denise Van Outen
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com
To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk
latest 7 9
010_LS384_cheeky/stars
7/31/08
10:14 AM
Page 2
ONLY JOKING!
See more at latest7.co.uk
Bare cheek Ray’s the dead Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
The Dan Moonfish guide to shoplifting Wotcha chums! Over the next few weeks I’ll be providing a handy cutout-and-keep guide to the noble art of retail theft. Y’know, people have been shoplifting ever since the day when a cheeky, opportunistic caveman grabbed a woolly mammoth steak from the Triassic equivalent of M&S and stuck it down the front of his bearskin. But there’s a right way and a wrong way of knocking stuff off from shops, and you’ll have to follow my tips if you want to avoid getting nabbed by Mr Store Detective. LESSON NO 1 – FACIAL EXPRESSIONS After nicking something DO NOT look: • Guilty • Sick with fear • Enormously pleased with yourself
These are all dead giveaways, and will result in the security bloke grabbing you almost immediately. DO look: • Absent-minded • Preoccupied, as if considering weighty matters, such as the meaning of the universe • Unhurried and placid Make sure you take a while to chat to the person serving as well. Perhaps ask if the shop stocks a product it obviously doesn’t, to lull everyone into a false sense of security. Behave like this and you can’t fail. Well you could fail. Everyone gets taken round the back and beaten up sometimes. It goes with the territory. Next week: how to hide an ovenready chicken in your pants
Dans Et Dehours IN
OUT
• Sacha Distel
• Marcel Marceau
• Jacques Cousteau
• Charles Aznavour
• Going “Haw-he-haw-he-haw”
• Chanson d’amour, ra da da da da
• ‘Joe Le Taxi’
• Franglais
• Marcel Wave
• Pepé Le Peu
Astral Angi ★Finding truth in the stars★
With Ray from Reef Radio Hi there! Ray from Reef Radio here. You might remember me from that mid-’90s Bacardi advert in which I’m on air, bidding farewell to my buddy Franco, but make the idyllic island he’s about to leave sound so inviting that he jumps off the boat and wades back, suitcases in hand. Remember? No? Oh well, maybe you’d gone for a slash or to buy some Revels before The Truth About Cats And Dogs came on. Nevermind. Anyway, since then I’ve become a spiritualist and medium – and I’m here today to channel the undead spirits of your departed loved ones. Let’s hope I’m as good at raising the grisly spirits of the dead as I was at raising the profile of a certain medium-priced rum back in 1996! Okay – let’s go! Dear Ray from Reef Radio, Shortly before her death last November my mother purchased some stocks in a number of building societies. Despite having searched her house, I have been unable to find any evidence of them. Where did you put them, mum? I really need the money! Thomas Jarvis, Hove Quiet please! I feel a presence… Ghhh… Mnnn… Kkk… “Hello? Is that Tommy? It’s mum here. The stocks and shares are in a secret compartment behind the wall in the spare room, along with some gold bullion and a tidy sum in gemstones. To open the compartment you’ll have to take hold of the light fitting in the room and rotate it five times clockwise, then three times anticlockwise, then two times clockwise… Hang on, I mean four times clockwise…” Kgg… lpp… I’m sorry. I’ve lost her.
Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!
Dear Ray from Reef Radio, My father passed away last month. He said he’d made a new will in my favour but I’ve been unable to find it. Please help. Christine Gauquelin, Patcham Can’t you feel how cold it’s getting in this room? Hello? Is anyone there? Khhh! Mnnnnn! “Hello... It’s your father here. Don’t worry about me, the afterlife’s really nice. It’s a lot like the island where Reef Radio is based ironically enough. Anyway, the will’s buried on Clapham Common. Find an old oak tree with a diamond carved into it and walk 20 paces east, 12 paces north, then dig down 17 feet. I think it was a diamond anyway. It might have been a club…” Gggg… He’s gone. Dear Ray from Reef Radio, My daughter was a cold woman, and for the last decade of her life we were estranged. She died in New Zealand, without her family around her. I need to know did my Katie love me? Mrs G Hopper, Brighton Oooh, I think I feel something… Oh yes... “Mum, evidence that I loved you is locked in a chest buried on a beach on a Jamaican Island known as Smuggler’s Cove. To find the map you must track down the mysterious Mr DeWinter and defeat him in unarmed combat. When you have the map travel to the co-ordinates mentioned and await further instructions…” Hello? Hello? No – she’s gone. Well I hope I’ve been of some help, guys. I’d best be going now – Reef Radio doesn’t run itself you know!
BARDSLEY’S
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)
CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)
LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)
Be prepared for a week of low spirits and moaning mates. Counteract this by indulging in a more hedonistic lifestyle. Your astral cocktail is a classic Whisky Sour.
Don’t be afraid to say what you think this week, let it all come right out. At least then the rest of us can tell you what we think in return. Your astral cocktail is a Piña Colada.
Your own opinion of your intellect may be standing in the way of real progress. Play dumb for a change and allow people to find the real you. Your astral cocktail is a Monkey Snot.
CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19). Now is the summer of our disco tents: Pride over, Beachdown coming. Look for that mozzie spray and the baby wipes. Your astral cocktail is a Long Sloe Screw Up Against The Downs.
TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)
LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)
SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)
AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)
The hot/cold weather should make you calm/irritable (delete as appropriate). Avoid conflict. Oh, to hell with it – avoid all human contact. Your astral cocktail is a Bullshot.
Leo should attempt to pour oil onto troubled waters this week. You could also pour oil on troubled daughters or doilies onto troubled mortar. Your astral cocktail is a Pink Pussy.
All efforts to get Scorpios to moderate their behaviour is wasted. Best left to your own devices where you can all do exactly what you please. Your astral cocktail is a Silver Bullet.
How do you solve a problem like Aquarius? Well, you don’t: you simply light the blue touch paper and retire – Eastbourne is nice. Your astral cocktail is an Aqua-Arsenic.
GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)
VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)
SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)
PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)
Time to get loved-up twinnies. Shed as many clothes as possible, relax, chill, do whatever, and then stay home – no one wants to see that. Your astral cocktail is a Mai Tai.
Virgos should stay at home and avoid the attention of undesirables who may try to ply you with alcoholic beverages. Your astral cocktail is a Virgin Mary.
Take it easy, take it nice and slow, that’s no way to go, does your mother… Abba-ration! Avoid cheesy movies and women of a certain age in dungarees. Your astral cocktail is Sanatogen.
Everything is going swimmingly this week, for you that is. Cod and tuna are having much less of a good time. Try the pollack at Bardsley’s. Your astral cocktail is a Fish Finger.
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To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk
011_LS384_Tempest
1/8/08
12:34 PM
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012_LS384_newssummary
8/1/08
11:01 AM
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LATESTNEWS
news summary
7 days of headlines
Hove and Portslade MP, Celia Barlow, has continued her support for the London 2012 Olympics by encouraging local businesses and volunteers to get involved. Businesses can register at www.competefor.com where over 20,000 businesses have registered so far. The 2012 Games is set to generate over £6 billion worth of direct contractual opportunities nationwide.
Learning disabled artists who attend the Connaught day centre have created three summer mosaics for The Foragers public house in Hove. The mosaics were unveiled last Wednesday (30 July) as part of the Better Work Options project.
Fundraising hike
Over 70 brave individuals took part in a 170ft bungee jump on Hove Lawns on Saturday 27 July in aid of Brighton-based children’s charity Rockinghorse. Daniel Noonan and Ben Swabey were among those taking part, but chose unorthodox costume in which to take the plunge, wearing nothing but cotton diapers and babies dummies to complement the safety harnesses they were strapped to. The boys’ costumes were inspired by one of the charity’s current projects, helping with the redevelopment of the Trevor Mann Baby Unit, a specialist facility caring for the region’s tiniest and most premature infants. Each year, the Trevor Mann Baby Unit helps around 500 babies and their families. This could be for as little as a few days, but is often for the first few months of life. Rockinghorse is raising funds for the decoration of family accommodation and ward areas and to provide additional, specialist medical equipment. This was the fourth annual Bungee on the Beach event, held in aid of Rockinghorse, who work to make life better for children in hospital.
Latest 7
NEWS
Council savings
Pic: Tim Richardson
The RSPCA have released their latest national statistics, with new figures exposing a 34 per cent increase in convictions for cruelty to dogs. Paul Stilgoe, RSPCA South East regional superintendent says: “Dogs have always borne the brunt of cruelty. But that’s what makes this year’s horrendous 34 per cent increase even more shocking: it’s a massive increase on an already high figure.”
Bungee success
Four Sussex hospices are counting down the days until the second annual Hike 4 Hospices fundraising event on Saturday 16 and Sunday 17 August. The event was created by ten Sussex Rotary clubs and is raising money for four hospices that care for local people with advanced progressive life-limiting illnesses. St Barnabas House in Worthing, St Wilfrid’s in Chichester, St Peter and St James in North Chailey and The Martlets in Hove are all hoping there will be a massive turnout for this year’s Hike 4 Hospices. It will include a number of routes, the shortest being five miles and the longest 14 miles. Olympic gold medal winning athlete, Sally Gunnell OBE, is supporting the event and will be taking her young children along to take part. She says: “This is a great opportunity for anyone to enjoy a weekend of healthy exercise in the beautiful Sussex countryside while helping four very worthy local causes.”
Event organiser Jade McShane said: “I’d like to thank everyone who took part in Bungee on the Beach. Once again this was a great spectacle and an amazing experience for all of our jumpers, who were also helping to raise money for a great cause”. For information on taking part in Bungee on the Beach 2009, please call Rockinghorse on 01273 730286.
Jan Young
The council stay true to their word after saving millions of pounds of public money More than £6million worth of savings have been made by the council in the past year through its commitment to making better use of public money. A restructuring of the council’s in-house home care service and making more use of the in-house ‘Care Crew’ temporary staff pool has helped adult social care services make savings of nearly £1million. Cutting the number of people staying in temporary bed and breakfast accommodation, tighter management of empty properties, a more streamlined repairs service and re-tendering the council house repairs contract have helped save more than £600,000. The relocation of the visitor information centre to the Royal Pavilion complex has saved money and helped increase the number of people using the centre. And the extension of the wheelie bin service to thousands more households has helped the council improve recycling levels, send less waste to landfill and save taxpayers more than £700,000. In a further development the council has also received £700,000 from the government for exceeding targets for cutting down on housing benefit overpayments. Cabinet member for finance Councillor Jan Young said: “When we talk about making better use of public money, it’s not just about saving cash. It’s also about finding ways to deliver better services by doing things differently. “Delivering value for money services to residents is one of our key priorities, and we’re committed to making our services even more efficient and helpful to residents in the coming years.” 12 latest 7
If you would like to comment on these stories please email news@thelatest.co.uk
013_LS384_newsphil
7/31/08
11:58 AM
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LATESTNEWS Phil Mills reports on the impact the rising cost of fuel is having on domestic crime
Protecting the family fuels People who use oil to heat their homes are patrolling their properties to combat a massive rise in thefts. The price of heating oil has rocketed from 40p to 60p a litre and with it has come a four-fold rise in incidents of siphoning. Sussex Police recorded just one during the first six months of 2007 but there have already been 20 in the same period this year. The Sussex builder pictured did not wish to be identified to protect his location. The 40-year-old started patrolling his grounds near Lewes last month. He said: “My next door neighbours had their tanks drained recently and I’m not taking any chances. The price of heating oil has gone up 50 per cent and when you are storing hundreds of litres of the stuff, it doesn’t take much to work out how valuable a tank full is.” The total loss in Sussex runs into thousands of pounds. Thieves first drive round to find tanks they can see from roads and then return in the night to drain the oil into their own tanks in the backs of vans or on pick-up trucks. They then sell on the oil through the black market. One elderly couple in Plumpton Green had 1,300 litres stolen. They were also too concerned and worried to be named or identified. The woman said: “Police told us to say nothing about who we are or where we are.” Rural areas where properties are more remote are proving the most vulnerable, but owners everywhere are being warned to be vigilant. A force spokeswoman said: “Given the increasing value of heating oil sitting in tanks, it is not surprising to find that thefts are on the rise across the country.” She advised people to keep tanks in a locked building, out of sight, and to keep levels low and to order smaller deliveries so if they are raided then losses are kept to a minimum. She said: “It is also important for people to check if their oil is covered by home insurance policies.
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NEWS
Losing a tank full of oil will prove very costly.” Police, meanwhile, have stepped up patrols in rural areas and they are urging people to be vigilant and to report any suspicious activity immediately on 0845 6070 999 or Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111. It’s not just heating oil that is being stolen. The RAC reported that fuel thefts from vehicles have doubled since the beginning of the year, in direct correlation to the rise in pump prices. An RAC spokesman said: “It’s alarming that we’ve seen such dramatic increases. These figures are clearly symptomatic of the desperation motorists are feeling amid rising fuel costs. We are urging drivers to be more vigilant to both protect their own fuel stock and report anyone who is trying to make money by selling stolen petrol.” The National Farmers Union said the first five months of the year had seen a 30 per cent increase in reports of thefts of diesel and heating oil from farms compared to the same period the previous year. A spokesman said: “Thieves used to take just enough fuel to fill their own tank, but they are now turning up in the middle of the night with a barrel or tank on the back of their truck, and take as much as 500 litres.”
“Given the increasing value of heating oil sitting in tanks, it is not surprising to find that thefts are on the rise across the country”
Sheep back in Wild Park Politics can be a dirty business but seldom is it mucky – unless you happen to be working with animals. Brighton and Hove City Council councillor Geoffrey Theobald found himself ankle-deep in you-knowwhat during a photoshoot in Wild Park, Moulsecoomb. The council's environment spokesman was explaining how 60 Suffolk sheep will be let loose in the park this autumn to bring back shepherding to Brighton and to do away with mechanical grass mowers. Photographers persuaded him to step inside a pen and, well, the sheep became nervous and did what came naturally. Mr Theobald's shoes were not
exactly shining afterwards. He had been given a lift in a car to the top end of the park for the shoot, but found himself having to walk back to his Jaguar afterwards. Mr Theobald explained the sheep will cause less damage to the environment and will preserve wild flowers, insects and reptiles, which are often sliced up by rotary blades. He appealed for 50 volunteers to act as shepherds to take turns to keep watch on the animals. The flock, owned by local shepherd Gary Baldock, will be the first to graze in the city for 50 years. Mr Theobald said: “It’ll be great for the environment and it’ll save us having to mow the grass.”
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014_LS384_letters/sport
7/31/08
9:39 AM
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LATESTSPORT
Letters
Send your comments to letters@thelatest.co.uk
Latest Sport Round ups and rumblings from the Latest Sports Bunker
Bring it on Latest Sport’s Peter Knight can wait no longer for the Albion’s season to kick off
Mayoral thanks Thank you very much for inviting me to join you for the Latest Awards event at the end of May, and for your warm welcome. I was delighted to attend, and very much enjoyed a most interesting and entertaining evening. The Festival and Fringe provided a fantastic diversity of entertainment this year, and everyone involved in any of the events deserves congratulations and a big thank-you for all the hard work, energy and enthusiasm they put into providing such great entertainment. I wish them all Latest 7 editor Rachel Pegg with Mayor continued success for the future. Gary Peltzer Dunn at the awards Yours sincerely, Garry Peltzer Dunn Mayor of the City of Brighton and Hove
Circus shock I was really appalled to see Latest 7’s inclusion of a Zippos Circus competition. There are so many animal-free circuses to visit, that it seems a shame you are supporting one that uses animals. Performing animals’ lives are traumatic and short-lived. They have to endure training and tools are often used to force them to perform. Their lives are stressful due to travelling extensively and being confined in cages. Working long hours, their life expectancies are short. More information can be found at the Captive Animals’ Protection Society (CAPS) and the RSPCA also oppose animals in circuses. I urge Latest 7 and your readers not to support Zippos Circus when they come to Hove in August. Justine Bourne
You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
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Well there was the European Championships to save us football fans from the dark and gloomy vacuum known to others as the cricket season. But finally, with friendlies against unknown minnows having run into double-digit inevitability for some, and warm-up matches climaxing in August’s rising heat, the Albion and the beloved game is back. The dawning of the coming season for the Albion and their fans brings with it a renewed promise and promotion ambitions not seen since the club returned from its Gillingham exodus back in 1999. There is certainly a strong sense of the past currently infusing the club as they prepare to push on this year. And at Gary Hart’s recent testimonial celebrations former Albion legends Steve Foster, John Byrne and Gordon Smith graced the Withdean pitch with their skills of old. The club’s highest achievements were recalled and celebrated only three months ago with the 25th anniversary of the club’s FA Cup Final appearance. Micky Adams has made his triumphant return, as manager for a second time. There have been new contracts for longtime servants Kerry Mayo and Gary Hart who had been handed their P45s by Dean Wilkins at the end of last season. Left-back loanee Matt Richards is back for another six months. In fact, it’s hard for any Albion fan not to feel like an extra in Life On Mars with the return of so many faces associated with the club’s previous successes and recent past. Is someone playing a trick? Is it the year 2000? Did I just see Bobby Zamora drive up Lewes Road on his way to training?
“Is it the year 2000? Did I just see Bobby Zamora drive up Lewes Road on his way to training?” It was in our 20 May edition of Latest Sport that we actually joked whether Adam Virgo could “make a spectacular return”. We were only messing about. But what a signing. And then there’s all the new blood too. I can see it now: ‘Brilliant tackle by Hawkins, played up field by Virgo to Livermore, out to the left for Richards who bustles forwards. McLeod picks up the ball out wide and sends in a mesmerising cross to Murray who rises like a giant to nod it down for Forster, who hits its sweetly with a volley into the net grazing the crossbar from the edge of the area. What a goal!’ What a season this could be. If fortress Withdean isn’t packed out for more than 80 per cent of games we’ll be surprised. In fact, us lot down in the Latest Sport bunker are going to have to spend these last days before the season kicks off watching our favourite Albion greatest goals DVD because we can’t wait. With great signings, Falmer on the way and Magic Micky at the helm, promotion is within our grasp. Albion kick off their season at the Withdean against Bristol Rovers, Saturday 16 August, 3pm. If you can’t wait that long, Albion play Barnet in the first round of the League Cup, Tuesday 12 August 7.45pm. Ticket hotline: 01273 776992
Zamora now plays for Fulham after moving during the summer
015_LS384_health/model city
7/30/08
5:17 PM
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HEALTH&BEAUTY
Model city Sandra Omo explains that breaking into modelling is both easy and difficult
Take time out Zara Baker says it’s time to let go and unwind with a massage for healing and a greater sense of wellbeing
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A massage can work wonders for mental clarity and relaxation. Despite this, many of us continue through the daily grind without the me-time to relax and de-stress. Money or simply not having a spare hour in the day can be common factors. For others, it can even be anxiety at the thought of having a stranger touch you. If it’s the former, then it’s simple. A massage gift voucher makes a lovely gift, and the the receiver can schedule it in their own time. An hour out the day may seem like a chore or a burden in itself, but once you enter the calming oasis of a massage parlour, it really is worthwhile. If you have body issues, just remember the therapists see people from all ages and walks of life. You will have privacy before and after treatment, to undress and dress in your own time. During treatment, a towel is left covering you. Once you take the step to booking and attending a massage session, you unconsciously begin to relax and enter a calmer state. The real world seems a million miles away, but you realise releasing stress and tension is possible. For many of us, our lifestyle is repetitive – whether it’s time spent lifting at work or sitting for eight hours at a time at a desk. Stress affects us all differently and the way we hold the tension and stress can be identified through massage. All of us carry excess baggage at some point, and a therapist works on the problem areas, kneading the muscles to loosen them and make them elastic like they should be. Tension could be in the shoulders or the lower back, but a massage allows us to let go of it. On a physical level, tension and stiffness is eased, with the muscles relaxed. On a mental level, we can think clearly in a calmer state of mind. On an emotional level, we have reduced anxiety and a greater sense of wellbeing. Massage can affect us on so many levels. It’s the power of touch without the aid of drugs. Next time you feel tension headaches or back or shoulder pain, consult with your doctor first and see if a massage can be right for you. The chances are the symptoms will be relieved. Massage can use heat and aromatherapy oils to heighten healing benefits. Therapists will tailor oils to the individual, as calming oils (lavender) may be necessary to promote sleep or uplifting fragrances to boost your mood (ylang-ylang). Take the first steps to a calmer, happier lifestyle and book in some me-time for a healing massage. It really is one of life’s best therapies.
wave
Reach over 100,000 health-conscious readers across London and the Southeast with Wave, the region’s only free mind, body and soul monthly.
To advertise call Lucy Kamper on
01273 818160 See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk
How did I become a model? Was it by hard work or by luck, merit or connection, fame or achievement, through a modelling school or an agency? I get asked this question many times and each time I answer, I see the question mark – or should I say surprise – on people’s faces. It’s like they have already figured in their mind what my answer will be, so when I answer with the unexpected they are a bit disappointed. How did I become a model then? By desire. I can almost hear someone question: “Really?”. Why are people surprised? Is this too easy an answer to believe? The problem is that so many people have been deceived into thinking that becoming a model is the most difficult thing on earth, when it is actually among the easiest. How, then, does one become a model? Well there is no particular way to become a model. Some people get scouted by modelling agencies and this immediately kick-starts their career. In fact, the quickest way to become a professional model is to get scouted. However, this is not an experience that every model can boast of, as I was not scouted, and 90 per cent of models that I know were not either. Some, after having been rejected by many agencies, had to prove themselves. Others got there through hard work.
“The competition is fierce, the catfights unavoidable and the loneliness implacable” Some have indeed achieved success through a connection – if your father was Gianni Versace, wouldn’t you be a supermodel if you wanted to be? However, the majority of us did it simply by desiring it, loving it and going after it. The beginning of modelling, no matter how one became a model, is always the same experience for everyone. It usually involves getting to meet the right people who can help take you to the next level, developing a good catwalk, having great pictures, eating the right food and maintaining the right shape, doing unpaid jobs in order to gain experience and constant separation from family and friends as you travel in search of better opportunities. Now please note that the latter part does not come into effect until you have moved on from just being a model to being a professional model. At this stage the competition is fierce, the catfights` unavoidable and the loneliness implacable. It is usually at this stage that one decides if this is what they want or not, because when you are here, your life is hardly yours – you do and eat whatever you are told, wear whatever and go wherever you are required. You just live the life your sponsor, agency or manager wants you to, and this can, and often does, become unbearable. Nonetheless, when success comes you will be grateful you endured it. So you see, it is not becoming a model that is difficult, rather it is in becoming professional where the difficulties lie. Does everyone who becomes a model make a career out of it? No. The truth is that out of the uncountable number of people who become models each year, the majority of them will become frustrated after a while, due to the competition and lack of guarantee in the modelling industry, and give up. A considerably large amount will get a few jobs here and there, and enjoy it while it lasts before moving on to other careers, while only a few will make a career out of it. Nonetheless, if you desire to be a model go out there and pursue it, for how will you know if it’s for you or not if you never try? If it is not for you, like the two groups above, you can always pull out and take the experience with you. After all, what do you have to lose? latest 7 15
016_LS384_food
7/31/08
9:50 AM
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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK
My mother, apart from a day trip to Boulogne, had never been abroad until she was 66. Then boom! She went Thailand crazy, and over the next ten years went there with dad a further six times, each time for an increasingly longer stay. To say she likes Thailand is an understatement on a grand scale. She also loves Thai food and having been there knows her stuff. I also love Thai food but having never been there I have only my experiences in Thai restaurants and pubs to go by. Over the years though, I have put in the backbreaking work of eating Thai as often as possible and I have to admit that it has become a favourite. I think too that I have worked out what is pretty authentic from the frankly faux. There are far too many places slopping out food named Thai that has very little to do with the clever cuisine it should be. Too much ginger where galangal is required, too many peas when what you want are pea aubergines, to much lime juice and not enough kaffir lime leaf, and too much basil when you should have holy basil. When I saw that Sabai was branding itself a Thai gastro-bar I feared for the worst – but I could not have been more wrong. The owner has simply chosen to style his venue along the lines of a Thai beach bar: relaxed; informal; and with funky music rather than impenetrable Oriental stuff that grates on Western ears.
McD commented that the baby sweetcorn seemed wrong. I don’t like them much anyway so didn’t feel the need to worry unduly as to whether they were an appropriate or authentic ingredient. What did thrill me was the number of pea aubergines that, like bitter culinary land mines, were laced through the mix. I love them: the texture, the pop as they burst and the very grown-up flavour. I was convinced at this point that all was good here at Sabai. Real holy basil had run through my soup, pea and baby aubergines stuffed my fish and the softly soapy tang of galangal had been present too. Ms McD chose a green bean curd curry. I love bean curd too, and this was just right – lightly fried before putting in the the livid-coloured sauce so that it retained its shape and texture: slippery, spongy and silky – quite delicious. She also chose coconut rice which she said tasted excellent but could have been a little shorter in the cooking. Not a rice fan, I chose noodles. Once more my eyes were bigger than my belly, quite an achievement I might add. Thai noodle dishes tend toward being main courses and mine with pork was just that. I made a valiant effort to eat it all; it was very, very nice, but in the end I failed and unusually I had to leave some. I don’t like leaving food but there was a chance that I might go pop very soon. Sabai looks and feels good, and there is a distinct air of authenticity about the food that they serve. Had it been a tad warmer we might have dined outside, but inside is cosy and relaxed with a bar area, couches and a raised platform where you can dine on low cushions in the traditional style. Had I sat there and eaten that much I might still be there now wobbling from side to side in a vain attempt to right myself. I loved Sabai: the prices are sensible; the sea bass at £12.95 a bargain; the service charming; and the food truly satisfying. I feel sure I will be back very soon for more. Sabai, 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place, North Street, Brighton. Please call 01273 773030 or visit www.sabai.uk.com.
“Sabai looks and feels good and there is a distinct air of authenticity about the food that they serve”
The Regency Restaurant
Old school Thai Andrew Kay is stuffed to the gills at Sabai in Brighton
I invited my friend Ms McD to join me there for dinner. She takes such an invitation very seriously and I know she will give me full account of her thoughts on her meal at all stages. We started by knocking the sharp corners off a tough day with a couple of huge Singha beers and several baskets of Thai prawn crackers. I love them – they have real flavour and do not adhere to the soft palate like glue. After that we ploughed into a rather larger dinner than might have been sensible. Starting with a mixed platter of small dishes we both ate our way through a small mountain of seaweed, pancake rolls, fishcakes, stuffed chicken wings, delicious eggy things and my favourite: mee grob – sticky, sweet, crispy noodles with cashews. Alongside there were dipping sauces but to be honest each was tasty enough on its own. Next, soup. Who can resist the weird fire of a Thai broth? Ms McD had one crammed with fat prawns, while I chose mixed seafood. I think I chose the better as I had prawns, crab claw, squid and big, fat mussels. I was pleased to see that they were not those fat, green-lipped jobbies from New Zealand either. The broth was silky smooth but packed with chilli that set my lips dancing in a nice way. I could have stopped at that point and been content, and maybe I should have, but we had ordered a main course to follow and in no time at all there it all was. At our waiter’s suggestion I decided to try the sea bass cooked in a banana leaf. There was plenty for two. I peeled back the shiny leaf and there it lay gaping open with a belly stuffed, literally to the gills, with herbs and vegetables. The white meat was well cooked and fell from the bones, the herbs had done their job too, in a subtle and not intrusive way, and the vegetables, delicious in their own right, had kept the whole fish moist. Ms
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The Regency Restaurant is the oldest and most popular family friendly seafront restaurant in Brighton, serving fresh local fish, shellfish, pasta, meat and vegetarian dishes. Highly recommended by Rick Stein and Antony Worrall Thompson. Extensive wine list, superb views of the West Pier. Seating for 140. For reservations call Emilio or Roberto on 01273 325014 The Regency Restaurant 131 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 2HH www.theregencyrestaurant.co.uk
If you would like to comment on this story please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk
017_LS384_AK_Lite
7/29/08
4:28 PM
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ANDREW KAY LITE
I should Cocoa Andrew Kay checks out a patisserie paradise in Queens Road Growing up in the Lancashire cake belt, studying in the glamorous gateau that is Chelsea and in positively pastry-filled Paris, has given me, not only a passion for cakes, but also a pretty decent knowledge of the form. Not so much who ate all the pies? As who ate all the Paris Brest. Now my addiction has a new dealer at Cocoa in Queens Road. I wanted to find it undeserving, for the sake of my waistline, but I have to report that it’s très, très bon. Arriving at lunchtime I was ready for a light repast. I’m not a fan of the sandwich to be honest but the baguettes looked great and the open tartines even more appetising. My eyes fell on quivering quiche and across salads, but finally came to rest on a very sexy onion and walnut tart. The French, not surprisingly, know their onions and Jules, the Frenchman at the ovens has created a sensational dish of soft, creamy sweet onion balanced on a slice of the lightest of puff pastries. Used to the dismal soggy stuff on sale in so many places I was almost driven to pop outside and hoist a Tricoleur. Had I done that I would have been neglecting a nice plate of well-dressed leaves and missed the chance to try an amazing confection of raspberry and passion fruit mousse, two separate, not one together, held in check by a ribbon of pale green and chocolate brown sponge and topped with a vibrant pink glaze. Was this patiserrie or architecture? There was certainly an element of engineering. I drank excellent coffee, strong and milky and on the way out could not resist a coffee eclair. Forget chocolate, this is the eclair to buy, good choux filled with bitter sweet creme patissiere and topped with coffee icing. I managed to resist devouring it for a pathetic 45 minutes. Cocoa is an elegant café run by the very charming Jana whose love of cake is as strong as my own. The décor is traditional, small tables, no fuss just a passion for the finer points in the world of confectionery. Cocoa, 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB. Call 01273 777412
Pause for thought
ANDREW KAY
Andrew Kay admits to a passion for breakfast at his favourite haunt I am an undisciplined beast and of late have all but given up on eating breakfast at home. To be honest it gets in the way of bathing, dressing and walking the dog. So more often than not I can be found at Pause by Preston Circus. Pause has made a name for itself for serving generous portions of well-made and high quality scram. The changing daily lunch menu draws a crowd, especially on Thursdays when Shirin makes her now famous curries. I like it at 8.30am, when a select group of regulars turn up to indulge in the most important meal of the day. There are set menus including pancakes and bacon, an Indian brekkie, a full fry up and for those on a diet a few healthy and lower caloried options. I often have a couple of poached eggs on toast or, more often than not, a bacon buttie made with lots of good quality rashers. Shirin does not have the word ‘skimpy‘ in her vocabulary. The coffee is good too and always piping hot; I sometimes have to take away what I have not managed to drink. There are daily papers, fresh flowers and always engaging chatter. Pause Cafe, 1 Circus Parade, New England Rd Brighton, BN1 4GW. 01273 690300
If you would like to comment on this story please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk
LITE… …it may seem like an oxymoron but this is a fabulous new way of promoting your food in Latest 7 From a simple sandwich to a full fine dining experience, we would like to offer you a new and exciting opportunity to promote your business with coverage from Brighton’s favourite restaurant writer Andrew Kay. For full details of this exciting new advertorial opportunity call Marie on 01273 818150 x102 latest 7 17
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LATESTHOTLIST
latest hot
LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS
RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials. They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256
The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty home-cooked food, separate evening and lunch menus and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter, a central open fire roars. In summer, people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt. 59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com
Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight, plus a wine list full of treats without being expensive. Make the most of the terrace when the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat. 1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555, www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk
Sam’s of Brighton A brand new restaurant on the Kemp Town restaurant scene. Situated in the famous One Paston Place site, Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a free-range poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter. 1 Paston Place, Brighton, 01273 676222 www.samsofbrighton.co.uk
See more at latest7.co.uk Santiago Restaurant Nestled between the two piers, Santiago Restaurant offers quality food and friendly service in this fantastic location on Brighton beach. Occupying former fisherman’s arches and boasting three of the historic, original arched windows, the first floor indoor restaurant gives a cosy and intimate dining experience. Now serving an exciting new menu of modern European dishes with a Hispanic influence and delicious homemade desserts. On sunny days, enjoy watching the world go by while dining on their sun terrace overlooking the beach, or in the evening come and relax in the indoor restaurant where every table has a sea view. 143-144 Kings Road Arches, Brighton Beach 01273 710031 www.santiagorestaurant.biz
CHINESE Gars Restaurant Stunningly refurbished, this old Brighton favourite has attained a new lease of life. An exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room and enjoy the glamour of it all. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321 www.gars.co.uk
FRENCH The Arrogant Frog Not as expensive as you might think! A tempting à la carte and Xpress lunch is available all week. A ‘Plat du Jour’, at £9.45 including a drink, is the perfect way to treat yourself without breaking the bank. Relaxed alfresco dining is available in the garden; a sunny afternoon could not be better spent. Enjoy the ‘Early Frog’ from 67pm; a three-course meal at £13.95 is really the best value for your money! The true character of this delightful restaurant comes hopping to life in the evenings, and the mouthwatering menu is a comprehensive choice of the finest French cuisine. Children and families always welcome. 119 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721488, www.thearrogantfrog.com
Cocoa Cocoa is the cheeky new French patisserie found just down from Brighton train station on Queen’s Road. “A slice of Paris in the heart of Brighton”. All cakes, pastries, tartines and baguettes are lovingly prepared each morning on the premises by French gourmet pastry chef Julien Plumart. Front of the house is run by Jana Solfronk serving coffee, cinnamon hot chocolate or homemade lime ice tea, amongst other beverages. Intimate seating overlooking a mural of the roofs of Paris sets an atmosphere both relaxing and bohemian. For breakfast, lunch or an afternoon “tete a tete”, Cocoa is the choice for discerning Brightonians. As commented by a recent French visitor: ”Cocoa make the best croissant in Brighton, by far better than any I found in Paris.” 48 Queen’s Road, Brighton. 01273 777412
too! Daily evening menu at two courses £10.50, three courses £12.50 on weekdays; and two courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 on Friday and Saturday (ONLY LIMITED SPACES AVAILABLE DAILY). À la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6-10pm for last orders. 10-11 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 or 695415
L’Église L’Église is a traditional French restaurant in Hove offering classic cuisine prepared for contemporary tastes. Offering a fantastic à la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday together with daily specials like coq au vin and côte de bœuf for two. Locally sourced produce includes freshly caught fish of the day and an extensive Anglo-French farmhouse cheeseboard. There is also a selection of superb French desserts on offer such as tarte aux pommes and crème brulée. Enjoy the south-facing sun terrace with the brasserie lunch menu, Tuesday-Sunday 12-6pm, including croque madame, tarte a l’ognion, moules marinières and more. And with a delicious French Sunday roast, this is true entente cordiale. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk, info@legliserestaurant.co.uk
New Steine Bistro
INDIAN Chaula’s
Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional home-made French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable
“The food of India, not just Indian food.” New on the scene in Lewes and unlike other Indian restaurants, Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes: bhindi kadhi, pista chicken, lamb rajasthani, and many more, and for its distinctive décor
and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. There is also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. They have a buffet available 11am-3pm Mon-Sat, alongside a ‘light bites’ menu. It’s definitely a hot favourite with the people of Lewes! Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu which is utterly affordable with the signature setprice boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95. 16-17 Market Street, Brighton, 0 1273 325135
To have an entry in the latest hot list call Marie on 01273 818150 18 latest 7
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LATESTHOTLIST
See more at latest7.co.uk THAI Chokdee A premium takeaway and informal eaterie next to Hove Station where you can enjoy real Thai cooking. Chokdee serves a variety of popular Thai dishes, including tom yum soup, pad thai (stir-fried noodles) favourite red and green curries and a range of freshly stir-fried dishes, with vegetarian options. There’s a selection of home-made starters priced from £3.95. A plate of mixed starters is good value at £8.95 and includes chicken satay, Thai fishcakes, mini spring rolls and mee krob noodles. Main courses include a good selection of vegetarian, duck and seafood dishes, and are made to each individual order using authentic Thai ingredients such as holy basil, kaffir lime leaves and galangal, coconut milk and chillis. Chokdee is licensed, with wines, saké and Thai beers. Open Monday to Saturday, for lunch and in the evening. 98 Goldstone Villas, Hove 01273 720370 www.chokdeethai.co.uk
Sabai
Food from Santiago Restaurant
The Thai word ‘sabai’ means comfortable, relaxed and chilled – precisely the way you’ll feel when you dine or have a drink with us. Filled with stylish, genuine Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. Browse our extensive menu of unique Sabai dishes, while sampling a cocktail or a bottle of wine from our comprehensive wine list. Try our gastronomic Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – many of which are grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners back in Thailand. Come and enjoy – or as they say in Thailand: “Sanuk”! 165-169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030 www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com
Sawadee The Thai restaurant that people love for parties and celebrations because they always give the best of times. And why not, as this well-priced restaurant pleases repeatedly with dishes we have all grown to love, and new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients, such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great sliced beef salad. 87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk
made on site with favourites like battenburg, quiches and gluten-free options like pistachio and orange biscotti. Moksha is not your usual high street coffee shop with its spacious interior and the works of local artists. They are child friendly, have disabled access and free WIFI. Now open late Thur/Fri/Sat offering free aperitivos with any bottle of wine and 2-4-1 cocktails from 5–7pm. Located opposite St Peters Church and only a stones’ throw away from Brighton Station. Moksha Caffe, 4-5 York Place, Brighton, 01273 248890, www.mokshacaffe.com
COFFEE SHOPS BARS Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with greattasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries. A place where customers are attended to by a dedicated team of the very best baristas, whose driving motivation is to provide the ultimate ‘coffee experience’. Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views. Everyone can find a place to sit and sip, get wrapped up in a good book, take advantage of the free Wi-Fi or just relax. Spinelli Coffee is located in the heart of Kemp Town Village, just off the corner of St George’s Road and College Road. MonFri 8am-6pm, Sat 8:30am-6pm, Sun 9am-5pm. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
Koba Bar and Club Koba hosts a happy hour in the front bar between 5-7pm all week. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list, and of course, champagne for special occasions (or just for the love of it). The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. To book your private party, reserve your guestlist or to run through some ideas please contact: Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com
To have an entry in the latest hot list call Marie on 01273 818150
Moksha Caffe Brighton Moksha is Brighton’s ultimate independent café, with their own blend of locally roasted coffee made by highly trained baristas. They have an excellent range of homemade cakes and sandwiches all
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Hats off
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Harriet Hoff finds the perfect outfit for Ladies Day at the races Off to the races? Got a wedding to attend? Or partying on the terraces at Café del Mar? You'll be needing the Latest guide to frocks and must-have headwear.
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The hat of the season – seen on all the celebs – is the straw trilby. This basket weave trilby is the way to get the hottest celeb look at a bargain price: £16 from Accessorize. Get your tan glowing with a flash of white with this fine classic straw trilby: £10 from Next. Smile for the camera as you will get noticed in this cute Fusion bow-detail dress: £55 from Monsoon.
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When you’re relaxing on the terraces, you'll be needing a flash of Boho hippy chic – try out this silk wrap dress: £70 from Next. Get dotty in this racing hot (dot) dress, by Jasper Conran: £40 from Debenhams. Choose a striking headpiece to set off the mono-tones. This Harbox disc headband is a winner: £25 from Debenhams.
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Sexy and chic, this dress will wow them all. Keep the paparazzi at bay in this black beauty: £120 from French Connection. Top it off with a bit of mystery with a veil of fun. Star by Julien Macdonald hairpiece: £30 from Debenhams. Collect your winnings in a sexy, sassy dress to make you blush with joy. Amanda frill dress: £160 from Monsoon.
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021_LS384_reviews/index
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latest listings Your weekly guide to what’s on
5 – 11 August
Under review Here’s our round up of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.latest7.co.uk
the Brighton pop-punk scene, this is great, deceptively simple stuff. Seriously, how can you not smile with songs like ‘No Sleep Till Brighton’ and ‘Dooooomed’? Engine Rooms, 22 July ✌✌✌ Nick Aldwinckle
Rob Heeney
Rob Heeney – No Pressure “If you thought that was supposed to be a shambles you haven’t seen this yet,” starts Rob. “And the last act was brilliant, wasn’t he?” Already the pressure’s on, and it’s only from Rob himself. Plus there’s the pressure to be funny. And the show’s not even started yet. Respected compere Rob Heeney is not a shambles – he’s a likeable, funny wordsmith who has put together an entertaining and deeply personal show. It shows the heart without too much of the blood, painting a picture of Heeney’s hometown on the Isle Of Man as part Bergerac and part Wicker Man. This was an early preview, promising very funny
things for the finished product. Upstairs at Three and Ten, 17 July ✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle
Bastion Noisy punks Bastion are first on the bill tonight, though it says a lot about their growing status that the decent early turnout responds so well. Vocalist Dan self-deprecates on the band’s behalf – a nice change from the pretension and failed attempts at ‘serious’ stage presence rife on Brighton’s scene. Screamy yet enjoyably melodic, bursts of lively punk akin to Alkaline Trio with a smidge of Ramones pop gallop along with a surprising ferocity considering the band’s laid-back banter. Kicking some much-needed oomph into
Slapstix Ten minutes into Slapstix my heart sank. What was this? A combo of burlesque, variety, performance art and circus? Cirque du Soleil it certainly was not – too rough edged, too jerky. No, this was Cirque du 40 watt bulb. Then suddenly I warmed – a plate-spinning act took me back to the end-of-pier shows of my childhood, and in that I saw what I think was their mistake. In parts this was good, but as a unified entertainment it was a mess. Deconstructed as end of the pier it might have meshed, but as it was it was it was too derivative. Slava will be spinning in his blizzard. Theatre Royal, 21 July ✌✌ Andrew Kay
Fiddler on the Roof p23
22 Comedy Victoria’s smoke-screen
22 Books The best reads this summer
23 Stage Joe McGann wishes he was a rich man in Fiddler on the Roof
24 Film Do you believe? The Xfiles review, plus listings
26 Kids & Events Brunswick festival and ladies’ day at the races
HOT REVIEW OF THE WEEK
26 Art Camp Bestival Fancy partying in the shadow of a historic 17th century castle dressed as a cupcake? The inaugural Camp Bestival, younger sibling of the established Isle of Wight shindig, proved a worthy addition to the summer calendar. Curator Rob Da Bank primarily aimed for yummy mummies and freaky fathers, inviting them to educate their eager offspring in the way of the festival on a cosy scale. A grand idea that, lack of toilets aside, readily delivered, even for those without children. The Flaming Lips provided an expected highlight, closing Saturday night with a bombastic performance of their kaleidoscopic alt. rock, but it was the trademark silliness that kept most attendees smiling. From the tea party parade to bizarre theatre in the woods, and even Roy Walker resurrecting Catchphrase, there was something for everyone. Lulworth Castle, Dorset, 18–20 July
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Jody White
For complete and comprehensive listings go to latest7.co.uk
Zoe Lyons – Mangled Mantra Of The Messed-Up Modern Mind Last year’s nominee for Best Newcomer for the if.comedy is on track yet again. This clear lover of alliteration tells of how she really tries to do her part for the planet but can’t resist a bacon sandwich. Addressing the modern quandary of conscience or convenience, Lyons articulately skips through the minefield of doing ‘the right thing’. A bit loose in places but with parts of comedy gold shining through, when polished this will be another must-see at this year’s Edinburgh Festival. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 15 July ✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle
Ken Garland’s On Polland Strand at Brighton University
27 Music Restlesslist exclusively talk summer gigs
30 Music & Club N*E*R*D, McFly and The Streets play Brighton beach
35 Gay Will’s Facebook surprise
36 Television Dani talks illiteracy in CH4’s Can’t Read, Can’t Write, plus listings.
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STAND-UP COMEDY&BOOKS
A laughing matter
Write club John Davies recommends a selection of books to read over the course of the summer
Victoria Nangle looks at how the smoking ban has affected the city’s comedy nights It’s now been a over a year since the smoking ban came into place. All the woe and caterwauling as to how this would destroy our comedy clubs have proven to be exaggerating the apocalypse promised on the circuit. Yes, a few clubs have closed down. Yes, they were mainly music venues. And yes, comedy nights have been used in the battle against the desire to sit outside on a balmy night ever since one man got up, grabbed the mic, and said: “A man walks into a bar…” Comedy was ready for it. We didn’t know it but, in the main, we were prepared. Music seems to not be. As the original, rock’n’roll music is used to being the original dream, and as such gets the dreamer audience in. Comedy gets a different crowd entirely. As one comic on the circuit has said, “You’re at that comedy age, doesn’t matter how old you are. It’s the point when you want to go to a club on a Saturday night but want to be able to sit down when you get there. It’s that comedy age.” So dashing outside in the break between acts wasn’t such a major break from the norm. Musical sets can go on for hours, as we stand there hypnotised by our favourite bands and the skill they must’ve been just born with. Most comedy clubs book a comic for no more than 20 minutes. Add in the compere’s introduction and warm-up time and you’ve barely waited over half an hour for that elusive nicotine hit.
“Smoking be damned. Comedy nights are much more conducive to people dashing out knowing that they’ve got 15 minutes to drag in that tar” In fact, contrary to popular expectations, we’ve actually got more comedy venues in and around Brighton on the go than we did last year. From the successful new Ropetackle Centre to the St Leonard’s Improv Show and right back to the Funny Farm in Hove, new comedy pioneers are popping up all over the place. Smoking be damned. Comedy nights are much more conducive to people dashing in and out at the back with the knowledge that they’ve got 15 minutes to drag in that tar before the next act is invited to take to the stage. Plus, and here’s the clever part, you might even get to meet the talent while you’re out there. Many comics are used to smoking out the back, and now the punters are joining them there’s a chance to chat with the good laughter-mongers from the stage (and feel free to ignore the ones you weren’t so happy with). The best bit of all from this smoking ban though is that you can see the stage, take the choice not to breathe in all the second-hand smoke and bring your favourite pregnant friend along to see some darn excellent comedy without any problems at all. Happy times.
☺
Stand-up wisdom: “I shouldn’t fly to Glasgow. If I’m going to have a carbon footprint, I’d rather it was a flip-flop than a Wellington boot.” Zoe Lyons
COMEDYLISTINGS
It’s that time of year when the Sunday papers are full of aggregated reviews of what to read on holiday, where every well-known author who’s appeared in the papers’ literary columns gets to recommend The History of the Gulbenkian Foundation, or the latest epic adventure by an obscure Romanian poet, as the ideal accompaniment to the sound of English lawnmowers in Tuscany or overwrought children in Gascony. This summer we’re lucky enough to be flying off to visit some old friends in California and we’re taking a road trip, as they say, to Yosemite, the Mammoth Lakes and Palm Springs, home of the Rat Pack and much else besides. I thought I would chuck in a few of my own suggestions for holiday reading come rain or shine, at home or abroad; based on what I would like to take with me. First of all, given the Yosemite connection, I’m going to continue my love affair with Rebecca Solnit who must be one of the best American writers alive. Motion Studies: Time, Space and Eadweard Muybridge is her biography of the extraordinary Victorian photographer. He was born in Kingston, Surrey but emigrated to the US where his inventive genius ultimately won a bet for the wealthy railway magnate Leyland Stanford, founder of the university that carries his name. The bet was that all four feet of a horse leave the ground at a gallop, a fact proven by some very clever camera technology in Muybridge’s camera shed at Stanford’s ranch at Palo Alto. If I sound as if I’m in love with this story, I am, and Solnit’s telling of it is brilliant. You can savour her intelligence, style and narrative power on every page. Here she sets the scene of the 1870s: ‘In that decade the newly invented telephone and phonograph were added to photography, telegraphy and the railroad as instruments for “annihilating time and space” … The Indian Wars were reaching their climax and their turning point. The modern world, the world we live in, began then, and Muybridge helped launch it.’ The paperback version of Motion Studies that I have is a beautifully designed and produced book. Solnit has also written Wanderlust: A History of Walking and I’m planning to buy a copy of that in the States. Another choice is Stephen Pinker’s latest exploration of the wonders of human language, The Stuff of Thought: Language as a Window into Human Nature. I’m a quarter of the way through it so I hope to finish the remaining three-quarters somewhere over the Atlantic. I’m looking forward to Joseph O’Neill’s Netherland, partly because it features cricket but also because it’s one of those novels about life after 9/11. I’ll pack that with Kolton Lee’s debut crime novel The Last Card about a London boxer on a downward path, which has received excellent reviews. Two books I highly recommend for holiday reading (or otherwise) are Bethan Robert’s The Pools and Susanna Jones The Missing Person’s Guide to Love. Both these novels by local authors deal with missing people. In The Pools it’s a young man who we know to be dead. In Jones’s book it’s a murdered schoolgirl. But more about these next week.
Thursday 7
Saturday 9
Coalition Comedy Club Feel-good comic Jarred Christmas headlines, with support from Jay Sodagar and Del Strain. Emceed by Rufus Hound. Brighton Coalition, 8pm, £8.
The Treason Show Join the crew for another dose of satirical comedy, hilarious sketches and quick-fire gags. Komedia, 8:30pm, £13.50.
Coming up…
Sunday 10
•Saturday 9 August, 10am–4pm, Catherine Smith workshop about the problems of ending a piece of fiction. At Brighton Writers’ Centre. Please ring The South on 01273 571700.
Friday 8 St Leonard’s Improv Comedy Club The headliner will be Karl Edrick and the show will be compered by Alexis with support acts, newcomers, news review, open mic and joke competition. Rooms Café Bar, 8pm, £5.
22 latest 7
Jimmy Tarbuck “In the words of the great Willie Nelson, ‘I’m back on the road again’ and looking forward to a lot of fun!” says Jimmy, who returns with a show that takes the audience on a nostalgic trip down memory lane. Pavilion Theatre, Worthing, 7:45pm, £16.50/15.50.
➧ For full listings go to latest7.co.uk/listings
•Tight Lip with Joolz Denby, Sunday 15 August 8pm, The Permanent Gallery, 20 Bedford Place Brighton, BN1 2PT, £4 on the door. •Shedman tells me he has two new blogs up and running for the holiday. ‘What do you do in your shed?’ asks www.shedworld.net, and www.shedlife.net follows the adventures of the knotholed superhero himself. Let me know of any new books or events you’re planning for the autumn. Email writeclub@thelatest.co.uk.
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Raise the roof Joe McGann stars in Fiddler Joe McGann leads the cast in a stylish new production of the acclaimed musical Fiddler on the Roof. Winner of nine Tony awards and one of the longest running shows ever to have played on Broadway, the exhilarating and inspiring musical comes to the South Coast’s premier theatre starring stage and screen favourite Joe McGann. Best known for his role as Charlie Burrows in ITV sitcom The Upper Hand, Joe plays the lead role of Jewish dairyman Tevye, who dreams of riches, respect and a quiet family life. In a Jewish village in Czarist Russia, Tevye is doing his best to preserve tradition in the face of a changing world, but when his
daughters refuse the matchmaker’s advice and marry for love, Tevye must choose between their happiness and beloved customs. Fiddler on the Roof features a gloriously rousing score full of memorable melodies, combined
Classic wartime comedy Starring Hi-De-Hi’s Jeffrey Holland, who makes a welcome return to the Devonshire Park Theatre after taking the title role in last summer’s acclaimed production. The cast also includes; Emmerdale and Doctor Who star Frazer Hines; Guy Siner who starred as Lt. Gruber in Allo ‘Allo!, Dale Meeks and Michael Sharvell-Martin. Set in the rural parsonage of Merton-cum-Middlewick in 1942, See How They Run is a riotous comedy of mistaken identities, when this sleepy little village becomes besieged by an escaped prisoner of war, a visiting priest, an actor and a locum priest – mayhem ensues. Add some nosy neighbours and disguises and the resulting confusion provides an evening of mistaken identities and hilarity. See How they Run, Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne from Mon11 until Sat 16 Aug. Nightly at 7.45pm & 2.30pm mat on Wed & Sat. Tickets from £13.50–£19.50 discounts available Call 01323 412000 or www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk. WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE
• 23 Aug, 11am, £5/3 Festival Cabarets • 29 August, please call for show time/£
EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE
THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY
WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE
01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Dancing Queen All-singing and dancing show with stunning costumes and Abba hits. • Wed 6–Sat 9 August, 7.30pm, Thu and Sat mat 2.30pm, £15–£19.50 Fiddler on the Roof Starring Joe McGann. • 12–16 Aug, 7.30pm, Thu and Sat mat 2.30pm, £17.50–£28.50 That’ll Be The Day Classic hits & comedy. • 17 Aug, 7.30pm, £17–£20 Magic of the Dance Irish dance phenomenon. • 20–23 Aug, 7.30pm, Sat mat 2.30pm, £12.50–£24.50
01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Lazy Town Live! Moves, music and fun! • 6–Thu 7 Aug, Please call for show times and £
01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Glen Miller Orchestra Big Band spectacular. • 3 Aug, 7.45pm, £14.50–£16.50 Secret Love: The Amazing Kathy Kirby Story Musical of the 60s stars life • 7 Aug, 7.45pm, £14.50/12.50 That’ll Be The Day • 8 Aug, 7.45pm, £18–£20 Magic of the Dance • 11–16 Aug, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm mat Wed & Sat, £17–£24 Jimmy Jones •17 Aug, 7.45pm, 7.45pm, £14.50/13 The Motown Show • 21 Aug, 7.45pm, 7.45pm, £17/15 Five Star Swing • 28 Aug, 7.45pm, £tbc One Night In Vegas • 31 Aug, 7.45pm, £16/15
Tuesday 5 August to Monday 1 September 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Meredith Willson’s The Music Man American musical classic starring Brian Conley. • 6–8, 14–16, 18–20, 26–27 & 30 Aug. Please call venue for show times, £12–£36 Six Characters in Search of an Author Luigi Pirandello’s probing drama. • 7–9, 11–12, 16, 20–21 and 23 Aug. Please call for show times, £25 Collaboration A composer and writer embark on an artistic partnership. Minerva Theatre. • 6, 10, 13, 15, 18–19, 22, 26–28, 30 Aug. Please call for show times and prices. Taking Sides By Ronald Harwood – to complement Collaboration. • 6, 13–15, 19, 22, 27–30 Aug. Please call for show times and £ The Circle The conflict of romance versus responsibility, set in 1921 Dorset. • 9, 11–13, 21–23, 28–29 Aug. Please call for show times and £ Toad of Toad Hole • 4–16 Aug, SOLD OUT Six Characters in Search of... Themselves
Farce fed
• 5– 9 Aug, 7.45pm, Wed & Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 See How They Run Classic war-time farce. • 11–16 Aug, 7.45pm, Wed & Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 The Business Of Murder • 18–23 Aug, 7.45pm, Wed & Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 Daisy Pulls It Off • 25–30 Aug, 7.45pm, Wed & Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50
STAGELISTINGS CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE
with a moving and compelling story line, humour and colourful characters. But do not be fooled into thinking that this is a light hearted musical romp, beneath the songs and dancing and the gentle humour is the deeply moving political story of an oppressed minority. You will smile and want to sing along to the memorable songs but only the hard hearted will not be moved by the sadness of their plight. Fiddler on the Roof, Congress Theatre, Eastbourne, Tues 12–Sat 16 Aug. Nightly at 7.30pm with Thurs & Sat mat at 2.30pm. Tickets from £17.50–£28.50, discounts available. Call 01323 412000 or book online www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk.
EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Don’t Look Now Daphne Du Maurier’s thriller.
If you would like to comment on these stories please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk
THEATRE ROYAL 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroya Elvis is in the Building Celebrating the career of the man they called the King. • 7 Aug, 7.30pm, £18–£23 Milkshake! Live in My First Concert The first live concert of kids’ favourites. • 8–10 Aug, 4pm, 11am & 2pm Sat & Sun, £13.50–£15.50 All You Need Is Love • 12–16 Aug, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Thu & Sat, £12–£23 Abba Gold – Live • 22–23 Aug, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Sat, £9–£20
01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Deadly Game • 12–16 Aug, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed & 2.30pm Sat, £13–£22 Boogie Pete • 14–16, & 21–23 Aug,10.30am & 1.30pm Thu & Fri, 10.30am & 12.30pm Sat, £9.50 Private Lives • 19–23 Aug, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed & 2.30pm Sat, £13–£22
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FILM 1himself. Following the recent death of his own daughter www.odeon.co.uk
0871 224 4007 Tuesday 5
Thursday 7
ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING (12A) 12.45, 3.15, 6.00 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 10.00, 12.00, 1.15, 3.30, 4.45, 7.15, 8.15, 8.45 HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 10.15, 1.15, 3.45, 6.15, 8.45 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 10.30 THE LOVE GURU (12A) 4.45, 7.00, 9.05 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.30, 2.15, 4.45, 7.45 MEET DAVE (PG) 10.05 SPACE CHIMPS (U) 10.15, 12.15, 2.30 WALL-E (U) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 8.30 THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE (15) 12.30, 3.30, 6.00, 8.50
21 (12A) 10.30 ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING (12A) 12.45, 3.15, 6.00 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 10.00, 12.00, 1.15, 3.30, 4.45, 7.15, 8.15, 8.45 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 10.30 THE LOVE GURU (12A) 4.45, 7.00, 9.15 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.30, 2.15, 4.45, 7.45 MEET DAVE (PG) 10.05 THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) 11.40, 2.30, 5.15, 8.00 SPACE CHIMPS (U) 10.15, 12.15, 2.30 WALL-E (U) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 8.30 THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE (15) 12.30, 3.30, 6.00, 8.50
Wednesday 6 ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING (12A) 12.45, 3.15, 6.00 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 10.00, 12.00, 1.15, 3.30, 4.45, 7.15, 8.15, 8.45 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 10.30 THE LOVE GURU (12A) 4.45, 7.00, 9.15 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 11.30, 2.15, 4.45, 7.45 MEET DAVE (PG) 10.05 THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) 11.40, 2.30, 5.15, 8.00 SPACE CHIMPS (U) 10.15, 12.15, 2.30 WALL-E (U) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 8.30 THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE (15) 12.30, 3.30, 6.00, 8.50
ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING (12A) THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) FORMULA ONE: BELGIAN GRAND PRIX (U) THE LOVE GURU (12A) MAMMA MIA! (PG) THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) THE X FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE (15) SPACE CHIMPS (U) CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILMS/TIMES
01273 626261 Tuesday 5
Saturday 9
ROH. THE SLEEPING BEAUTY 6.00 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 12.30, 3.00, 9.30
LAURA’S STAR (U) 11.00 MAN ON WIRE (12A) 2.30, 4.30, 6.30, 8.30
Wednesday 6
Sunday 10
THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 11.00, 2.00, 5.00, 8.00
SFO. MADAMA BUTTERFLY 3.30 MAN ON WIRE (12A) 1.30, 7.30, 9.30
THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 12.30, 3.15, 6,15, 9.15
Monday 11
Friday 8
MAN ON WIRE (12A) 2.30, 4.30, 6.30, 8.30 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES
MAN ON WIRE (12A) 2.30, 4.30, 6.30, 8.30
New releases reviewed
Films showing Friday 8-Monday 11
www.picturehouses.co.uk
Thursday 7
L7 lowdown
Man on Wire (12A) Director: James Marsh Considered by some to be the “artistic crime of the century” this documentary takes a look at tightrope walker Philippe Petit’s daring highwire routine performed between the World Trade Centre twin towers in 1974. Marsh is better known for keenly observed efforts such as The King but
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (12A)
www.cineworld.co.uk
0871 200 2000 Tuesday 5 ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING (12A) 2.00, 7.00 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 12.30, 1.30, 4.00, 5.00, 7.30, 8.00, 8.45 DEFINITELY MAYBE (12A) 11.00 HANCOCK (12A) 4.30, 9.30 HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 10.30, 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.10 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 12.10, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30, 9.10 SPACE CHIMPS (U) 10.40, 1.10, 3.10, 5.10, 7.10 THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE (15) 10.50, 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.20 WALL-E (U) 11.40, 2.20, 5.20
Wednesday 6 ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING (12A) 11.30, 2.00, 7.00 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 12.30, 1.30, 4.00, 5.00, 7.30, 8.00, 8.45 HANCOCK (12A) 4.30, 9.30 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.10 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 12.10, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) 10.30, 1.00, 3.40, 5.30, 6.20, 8.15, 9.00 SPACE CHIMPS (U) 10.40, 1.10, 3.10
THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE (15) 10.50, 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.20 WALL-E (U) 11.40, 2.20, 5.20
Thursday 7 ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING (12A) 11.30, 2.00, 7.00 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 12.30, 1.30, 4.00, 5.00, 7.30, 8.00, 8.45 HANCOCK (12A) 4.30, 9.30 KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 11.10 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 12.10, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) 10.30, 1.00, 3.40, 5.30, 6.20, 8.15, 9.00 SPACE CHIMPS (U) 10.40, 1.10, 3.10 THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE (15) 10.50, 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.20 WALL-E (U) 11.40, 2.20, 5.20
Films showing Friday 8–Monday 11 ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING (12A) THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) MAMMA MIA! (PG) THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE (15) CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES
WORTHING CINEMA 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Tues 5 –Thurs 7 August
Tues 5 –Thurs 7 August
MAMMA MIA! (PG) 3.30, 8.30
ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING (12A) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00
Tues 5 –Thurs 7 August WALL-E (U) , 1.30 (Tues, Thurs), 5.00, 7.15
Sat 9 August
Tues 5 –Thurs 7 August
ENCHANTED (PG) 10.15
THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 1.30, 4.45, 8.00
CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES
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Dir: Guillermo del Toro Big Red returns in this comic book sequel to the 2004 original, with a host of heavyweight effects and mythical creatures galore. Ron Perlman reprises his role as the super-stacked, hell-spawn vigilante. After helming such prodigious efforts as Pan’s Labyrinth and Cronos, del Toro adds his own distinct visual flourish. This time round the mythical world starts a rebellion against humanity as Hellboy and his team return to save the world. Entertaining but full of narrative fluff. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (12A)
Dir: Rob Cohen After directing The Fast and the Furious and Stealth to name but a few nuggets of crap, Rob Cohen has been drafted in for this third instalment in The Mummy franchise. This time round the O’Connell family travel to the Far East and unearth the first Emperor of Qin – a shape-shifting mystical entity. Chinese action king Jet Li plays the new Mummy while Brendan Fraser reprises his role. Interestingly Rachel Weisz has opted out of what is essentially a turgid and flat third addition to the trilogy. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
7 Selects
this sees him finding a subject who is as much a muse as he is an acrobat. With an array of original footage this is up there with Touching the Void for adrenaline-drenched nostalgia. A fantastic post 9/11 documentation of an inspirational and emotional event. Showing at Duke of York’s. Craig Driver
The X-Files: I Want To Believe (15)
Dir: Chris Carter Mulder and Scully return in this second big screen adaptation of The X-files. David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson reprise their roles in a somewhat surreal effort. When a group of women are abducted in wintry Virginia, the only clues to their disappearance are some grotesque human remains. With officials desperate for any lead, a disgraced priest’s questionable visions send local police on a wild goose chase and straight to a bizarre secret medical experiment. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
Space Chimps (U)
Dir: Kirk De Micco After seeing Wall-e umpteen times this animated effort feels bloated and idle. The film follows a bunch of monkeys in space. Ham III, the grandson of the first chimp astronaut, is blasted off into space. Soon, the fun-loving chimp has to get serious about the mission at hand. Fortunately for Ham III, two of his simian peers are along for the ride. With dialogue more dated than the jokes this kind of drivel is to be avoided at all costs. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Craig Driver
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Sun, sea, sex and death Latest 7 talks to Olly Blackburn, director of new Brit-flick Donkey Punch, about his tale of teenage misadventure at sea Elaborate a bit on your approach to making the film. We just wanted to write something that was realistic and made sense. The biggest influence on us, and the one that mattered the most, was our own lives and what we saw around us. The idea for the story came out of Dave’s observations in Antibes [France] and then on top of that we drew from things we’d seen or witnessed around us – conversations, anecdotes, friends’ stories, news stories. When we were writing the script and needed to come up with character details, we’d often just talk about things that had happened to us that in some way related to the story. We always tried to thread things back so that we could relate to them – the characters’ emotional states and feelings of fear and anger and confusion, and all the things that happen in the film. One of the biggest things about Donkey Punch was the research. We did a lot of oldfashioned, journalist-style research. We went and spoke to people – yacht crews, DJs, and people up in Leeds and down on the south coast. We spoke with a clinical psychiatrist about stress and trauma situations. We went to boat shows. We went out to Mallorca and I went up to Leeds just to see what people looked like and how they dressed and what they were listening to. Everything in this film came out of real life; things we'd seen or heard about directly.
tell he was taking it all seriously. As a writer I’m interested in group dynamics, and the idea that this guy was so eager to please the others that he might try it really interested me. The other thing feeding into this idea were tabloid stories at the time about footballers accused of gang rape and filming each other having sex. It seemed like there’d been a change in sexual morality and behaviour that I just didn’t understand. It seemed like people in their early 20s didn’t seem that bothered by the idea of putting themselves online naked or having group sex. I wondered if that was real or just peer pressure. Do you have any upcoming projects you’d like to share? Old ones I’m rewriting [and] new ones I’m starting to write with David. Different genres to Donkey Punch but exactly the same principle -try to come up with intelligent, character-based work that uses and manipulates the medium and has the power to surprise people.
What are your feelings on the state of independent film today? I’ve seen too many independent films that are just as formulaic and ham-fisted as any Hollywood wreck. The difference is, the Hollywood stuff is under no illusions whether it’s garbage or not. Film making is such a slog – you really have to want it and you really have to want to use the medium, and be prepared to fight. If you do and you stick to your guns, then you’ll make interesting work. If not, an indie film can just as easily be compromised by lazy writing, dumb producers, over-demanding stars and up-your-own-arse directing as any other type of film. The director’s job is to fight for what they think is right and original, even if it means – and it does – questioning your own motives and decisions every step of the way.
How was the shooting of the film? Shooting was intense, very fast, and quite incredible. We had so much ground to cover every day it stopped being ridiculous after a while. We had 24 days to shoot people getting burned alive, hanged, firing flares, using knives, getting thrown off the boat into the freezing sea at night. How did the title of the film come about? I was at a very civilised stag do. Everyone felt pressurised to be manly so were telling bawdy stories. Finally one guy says, “Have you ever done a donkey punch?“ I’d never even heard of it before. Everyone was laughing but I noticed one guy was listening quite intently – you could
Knight to remember
L-R: Graham Miles, Gemma Bryden, Rosie Vinson, Chris Vinson
Laura Nixon, Cat Woman, Jon Barrenechea (General Manager. Duke of York’s Picturehouse)
Alexia Lazou (The Penguin, winner of Best Dressed)
Photography: TIm Richardson
On Friday 25 July, the Duke of York’s Picturehouse were joined by Southern FM for the Gala Red Carpet Premiere of The Dark Knight. Reviews describe it as: “Simply brilliant” and “The best movie this summer”. I wholeheartedly agree, this is a mustsee movie. People coming made a special effort to dress up and made it a great night for everyone to enjoy. Batman, Cat Woman, Joker, Penguin and many more, with a confused Stormtrooper also coming along for the fun.
Claire Frost, Laura Nixon (Cat Woman), Dolly Divine
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ART
For complete listings go to latest7.co.uk
EVENTSHIGHLIGHTS Rural day The countryside comes to the city this Saturday 9 August. Join in the fun of Rural Day at St Ann’s Well Gardens as part of the Brunswick Festival. Highlights include the everpopular Scruffs Dog Show. There’s the chance to see other animals including sheep and rescue donkeys. A rare taste of the countryside in the heart of the city, plus arts and crafts and conservation stalls. Rural Day is fun for all ages and takes place at St Ann’s Well Gardens this Saturday 9 August, from 1pm–6pm
Ladies’ Day at Brighton Racecourse Hooray! It’s that time of year again. Put on your best frock, buy yourself a new hat and make your way to Brighton Racecourse for their fabulous annual event. Men are welcome too, suited to impress, so bring along friends and family for a day out with a difference. This year’s best dressed lady will win a stunning Radiance eternity ring worth £6,500 so start planning that outfit! There’s the opportunity to make the afternoon extra special in the Ladies’ Day Marquee. Here you will receive VIP hospitality: a champagne reception; three-course luncheon; entertainment; souvenir race programme; and tickets to the after party at the Thistle Hotel, Brighton. All this costs £900 for a table of ten. Ladies’ Day at Brighton Racecourse, Thursday 7 August. Please call 01273 603580 for tickets or more information. Alternatively visit www.brighton-racecourse.co.uk
EVENTSLISTINGS Tuesday 5 Appearance of Peppa Pig Summer fun with Peppa Pig at the popular zoo. Drusillas Park, £tbc. Contact venue for opening times. Badges, Buttons and Beads Make badges, corsages and buttons. Brighton Museum and Art Gallery, 11am–4pm, £7. Bejewelled Join Anna Tilson in making bejewelled mosaics using colourful glass stones. Hove Museum and Art Gallery, 10:30am-–12:30pm, £7.50. The Space Monthly meet for creative types, with an award-winning actor and Skint Records’ head honcho. Joogleberry Playhouse, 7pm, £5/3.
Homefield Park, Worthing, until 12 August. Book tickets on 0844 8565555. Scintillating Sewing Create purses, mobile phone covers and pencil cases. Brighton Museum and Art Gallery, 11am-–4pm, £7.
Friday 8 Mark Steel Join the writer, broadcaster and comedian as he talks about life with The Guardian, The Independent and his books. The Old Market, 6:30pm, £6 includes a glass of wine. Sensational Skirts Make your own skirt with inspiration from the museum’s costume collection. Brighton Museum and Art Gallery, 11am– 4pm, £7.
Wednesday 6 Perfect Printing Learn printing techniques and make unique scarves and belts. Brighton Museum and Art Gallery, 11am- 4pm, £7. Summer of Love With Sergeant Pepper, stilt walkers, music, face painting, magic and drum and percussion shows, free giveaways and workshops throughout the day. Brighton Marina, free throughout the day.
Thursday 7 Ladies Day at Brighton Racecourse Put on your best frock and hat for Ladies’ Day at the racecourse. The best dressed will win a £6,500 Radiance eternity ring. VIP hospitality for the day costs £900 for a table of ten. Brighton Racecourse, £tbc. Call 01273 603580 for info. Moscow State Circus Join in all the fun of the circus. Various show times and prices. Runs until 12 August. Moscow State Circus,
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Saturday 9 Two International Cat Shows Two-day show with different breeds and cat-related merchandise for sale. A must for any cat lover. Also 10 August. Assembly Hall Theatre, 10am–4pm, £3/1.50 children/concs. Rural Day Bringing the countryside to the city and raising an awareness of the environment. Featuring the ever-popular Scruffs Dog Show, sheep, rescue donkeys, arts and crafts, and conservation stalls. As part of Brunswick Festival, St Ann’s Well Garden, 1pm–6pm
Ken Garland Ken Garland has been taking photographs of the remote beach, Pollan Strand, in County Donegal since 1998. Initially he was beguiled by the pebbles: their variety of colour and texture and the way they seemed to group themselves in families. A recurring problem for Ken was the presence of foreign matter on the beach, coloured ropes, rubber gloves, children’s spades and sandals among other things. Eventually it became the focus of his work – to him they are symbols, metaphors, echoes, allusions, or parts of a narrative: a narrative that he explores via the medium of photography. Ken Garland: On Pollan Strand. A unique view of the jetsam and flotsam on a beloved beach, University of Brighton, until 3 September.
BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 292882 Chinese Whispers: Chinoiserie in Britain 1650–1930 With loans from HM The Queen, national museums and private collections, ‘Chinese Whispers’ tells three centuries of stories through rare and iconic objects. Until 2 November On the Pull Explore love and attraction, tender romance and the call of the wild through music, film, paintings, pottery and postcards. Until 31 August Stephen Creffield: Along the Shore Photographic work taken along the south coast, from Eastbourne to Broadstairs, highlighting the dynamic tensions along the way. Until 10 August
DE LA WARR PAVILION Bexhill-on-Sea 01424 229111 Nathan Coley Solo show from this Turner Prize-shortlisted artist, exploring our relationship with political borders and limitations, religious frontiers and ideals, and investigating how these ideas change over time. Until 21 September, Mon–Sun, 10am–6pm
Monday 11 Appearance of Dora the Explorer Children's favourite young adventurer makes a special appearance at the zoo. Drusillas Park, £tbc. Contact venue for opening times or visit www.drusillas.co.uk
To feature in events email editorial@thelatest.co.uk
ART LISTINGS
IMPURE 13 Ship Street Gardens New erotic gallery next to erotic boutique She Said that features over 40 local, national and international erotic artists including Jamie
McCartney, Ray Leaning, Romany Mark Bruce, Eve Poland and Pearl Bates. Until 31 August, Mon–Sat, 10am-6pm
PERMANENT GALLERY 20 Bedford Place, Brighton Pentimenti Exhibition of graduates and staff of the Royal College of Art’s 2008 course. Until 31 August, Thurs, Fri & Sun 1pm–6pm, Sat 11am-6pm
Q 15 St John Street, Lewes, 01273 487849 Summer Show Featuring Susan Ashworth, John Skinner, Emma Wilson, Stacey ManserKnight. Until 10 August, Tues–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 1–5pm
ST PAUL’S CHURCH West Street, Brighton Temporarily Now Exhibition organised by Brighton and Hove Council’s Communities Against Drugs team and featuring artwork and photography created by people recovering from drug and alcohol problems. Until 10 August, Tues–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 1–5pm
UNIVERSITY OF BRIGHTON Grand Parade, Brighton, 01273 643010 3rd Dimension An exhibition of cuttingedge 3D street art sculpture. Ken Garland Photography exhibition of foreign matter found on a remote beach in County Donegal. Until 3 September, Mon–Sat 10am–5pm
To feature in our art listings email editorial@thelatest.co.uk
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latest music ★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★
NEWS Big Beach Boutique 4 FatBoy Slim recently announced the line-up for Big Beach Boutique 4,which takes place on Madeira Drive on 27 September. As well as Mr Slim headlining himself in front of the Brighton massive, American house legend Danny Tenaglia will be making a very rare appearance in Brighton. Local resident and beat-boxer supreme Beardyman will be performing throughout the day including a stint with UK DMC champion turntablist JFB for what should be a stunning double-act. There will also be a live appearance from the excellent The Whip and more DJ action from house duo Layo and Bushwacka. Tickets are available from the Dome box office and online at www.ticketline.co.uk and www.tiicketmaster.co.uk. www.myspace.com/fatboyslim
The Whip
Best of the rest Restlesslist, the instrumental project of members of The Electric Soft Parade and Brakes, spoke to Nick Aldwinckle about their summer gigs Not content with writing and recording in Brighton bands The Electric Soft Parade, Brakes, Dirty Cakes and Zettasaur, band members Tom White, Matt Thwaites and Ben Elliott, with their friend Matthew Davies, got together for something completely different. The result was Restlesslist, an instrumental project fusing surf-pop with Ennio Morricone-style cinematic drama and something very much ‘Brighton’. Having just released their debut album, The Rise and Fall of the Curtain Club, the boys play alongside Camera Obscura, Chrome Hoof and Hot Club De Paris at the Concorde 2’s birthday celebration this weekend, At Home By The Sea. Latest 7 caught up with multiinstrumentalists Matt and Ben. What are your favourite Concorde 2 memories? Ben: When we saw LCD Soundsystem, we got on stage, dancing after the band had played. Matt trod on the bass player’s pedal, or something, and he just bollocked him. It was a good night. Matt: There was a crazy Maccabees gig when a bouncer and a punter started kicking off and the band got this mad crowd involved.
Brighton Live Now in its fifth year Brighton Live returns this September to showcase Brighton musical talent. This year Brighton Live will take in three key areas of the city, with colour coded ‘festival zone’ maps available for punters to enable navigational ease. Expect over 250 acts to perform at around 100 free gigs in 30odd venues around the city, with many of the city’s key promoters, labels and industry professionals playing a part in making the event another success. www.brightonlive.net
What was the thinking behind Restlesslist? Matt: It was a four-track thing that me and Ben just did at home after meeting through mutual friends. We pottered about with soundscapes and learning about what our sound was. Ben: We got other people involved and have sculpted it into this kind of ‘end of the pier, polka, clappy, poppy, sort of thing. It’s drenched in what Brighton is, and was, and should be. Why instrumental? Ben: It’s good for the listener to not fully understand and hopefully become completely absorbed in the music. You can have more imagery with music as opposed to being told what to think by lyrics. The listener makes it their own. Matt: A lack of lyrics or a voice leaves it up to the
Restlesslist
music to conjure up something in people’s heads. Vocalists can marginalize the listener sometimes. If you don’t like a singer you dislike their band. Having no vocals opens us up to more people. What’s next? Matt: We’re going into the studio recording some new material. We finished this album more than a year ago. We’ve got a song in the new Trinny and Susannah show and another in Dirty Sanchez! We’ve got these summer shows, then Loop and Beachdown, then heading out around the country. What inspired Restlesslist? Matt: Friendship. We listen to the same things and love the same things but we love a lot of very different stuff we share with each other. Ben: There are more boring bands in Brighton than juice bars. We want to be different. Flicking through crap TV shows and chopping between all the different styles. That’s what we’re about. At Home By The Sea, Fri 8 to Sat 9 Aug, Concorde 2
UPCOMING GIGS
The Kooks First proper gig in Brighton for a while, and what a journey it’s been for this band who only made their debut in ‘04 at Joogleberry! Sunday 29 November, Brighton Centre, 0844 8471515
If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk
Henry Rollins 13 August, Komedia Loop Festival 16 August, Victoria Gardens Martha Reeves 18 August, Concorde 2 One Night Only 21 August, Concorde 2 Beachdown Festival 22-25 August, Brighton Blow Monkeys 9 September, Komedia Bad Manners 15 September, Concorde 2 Van Morrison 19 Sept, Dome British Sea Power 2 October, Corn Exchange Sam Sparro 3 October, Corn Exchange Art Garfunkel 6 October, Dome Seasick Steve 7 October, Dome Michael Bolton 6 October, Brighton Centre Stephen Stills 10 October, Brighton Centre Moody Blues 11 October, Brighton Centre Cajun Dance Party 13 October, Concorde 2 Does It Offend You 20 October, Concorde 2
Dr John 21 October, Dome The Hoosiers 25 October, Brighton Centre Level 42 30 October, Dome Hot Chip 5 November, Dome Motorhead 6 November, Dome Scouting For Girls 3 Nov, Brighton Centre Alphabeat 3 November, Concorde 2 Mercury Rev 11 Nov, Dome Katie Melua 11 November, Brighton Centre Cardiacs 17 November, Komedia Nouvelle Vague 24 November, Corn Exchange Will Young 4 December, Dome Human League 5 December, Brighton Centre Neville Staple 6 December, Concorde 2 Jools Holland 6 December, Brighton Centre Status Quo 12 December, Brighton Centre Maddy Prior 15 December, Hove Centre
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Feeling loopy
Peggy Sue & The Pictures
Celebrating music and art in the digital era Loop is back this month. Jeff Hemmings talked to founder Jason Clarke When the Loop festival arrived last year it was heralded as a really great idea within a city brimming with many great ideas. Despite the poor weather the event almost sold out its allocation of 5000 tickets and featured some fantastic acts such as Brighton’s Go! Team, Foals and Fujiya & Miyagi. This year, Loop is hoping to consolidate on its early success with another superb programme of music, film, interactive art and the digital arts in general. What gave Jason Clarke the idea for Loop? “I was very impressed with how Sonar (an electronic and cutting-edge music festival in Barcelona) was able to integrate a festival within a city environment, and having been to Brighton University it struck me that here could be a central space for a similar type of event.“ New Young Pony Club, Four Tet, Errors, These New Puritans, Cut Copy, Adem, The Bays, Peggy Sue & The Pictures (formerly Pirates), Jape and Skull Juice are just some of the forty plus acts that will be performing this year, spread across four stages; Hub, Futures, Limits and Outer Limits. “(Loop) covers a lot of areas, with a main focus of concentrating on new music. Last year we programmed artists such as Foals and Metronomy, and we try and be ahead of the curve. So this year we have tried to showcase artists who we believe in the next year or so will be people that magazines such as NME will talk about it,” says Jason.
u Fo t r Te
“We have two stage areas in Victoria Gardens – Hub and Futures, with acts such as New Young Pony Club and Four Tet, These New Puritans and Cut Copy performing. At the university we try and be more leftfield and avantegarde with acts such as Fulborn Teversham. And we’ve got an acoustic stage (Outer Limits) in the gardens of the University with people like Adem, Peggy Sue & The Pictures and Nostalgia 77.“ Loop is not just about music though; film, animation and art installations also play a part in celebrating 21st century digital culture. Cu t Co py “This year we have partnerships with Warp Films (the film arm of the legendary Warp Records) and with Channel 4’s Modern Toss who will be doing some animations for us.” And there are three interactive artworks music and interactive media art, generating currently been built for this year’s festival, with new audiences via Loop itself, and promoting support from Arts Council England. community cohesion through outreach projects A new innovation for Loop this year is Loop which increase involvement in the many Late, a series of club nights taking place after aspects of digital art. “The festival itself Loop finishes (about 10pm). “We have three generates income that allows us to put on different Loop Late events going on this year: courses for free in areas of social deprivation,” at the Ocean Rooms there’s Sway, Ebony says Jason. Loop Learn is a training Bones and Skull Juice; at Komedia we have programme in music production but we also Hint, Bonobo, Nostalgia 7 and Daedelus – it’s do film making courses and event productions being billed as a Ninja Tunes vs Tru Thoughts courses which is aimed at the long term event, and then at Coalition we have the unemployed, where they will be ‘legends’ night with Andy incorporated into the Loop team Weatherall, Nathan Fake and a and play a part on the day itself.” live set from Transformer. And how about for you, A not-for-profit Jason? “Last year was a lot organisation works behind of hard work and I was the scenes to make Loop hoping for a lot less this happen, featuring a year… But, it’s been the number of well same!” he laughs, connected and skilled content in the individuals, all able to knowledge that its hard offer Loop something work worth doing. new. Loop has a clearly Loop Festival is on 16 defined set of objectives August. Tickets cost £25, and that include supporting Loop Late tickets cost £9. A innovation in music and combined ticket is £32. the arts providing a platform Available at Resident Records for local talent specialising in and Rounder Records. new and innovative electronic www.loopbrighton.com Adem latest 7 29
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Jaime ‘til dawn Jaime Pettit explores the pleasures of Floorplay at Coalition and finds it camptastically shakeable
Hot Club de Paris nights, featuring a mix of national and local acts including Wild Beasts, Esser, Magistrates, Crome Hoof, Devon Sproule, Lisa LindleyJones, Jacobs Stories, Restlesslist, Brakes, Shout Out Louds, Hot Club de Paris, Peggy Sue & The Pictures and many more. Check www.athomebythesae.co.uk Friday 8 & Saturday 9 August
Jason Ringenberg Semi-legendary altcountry rocker back on a tour that includes both his children’s show (Farmer Jason) and his ‘adult’ show in the evening. Ringenberg made his name with Jason & The Scorchers, and as a regular performer here in the UK has built up a sizeable fanbase that can’t get enough of his energetic live shows and musical brew of cowpunk, country and rock. Wednesday 6 August, The Anchor Inn, Barcombe Mills (5.30 and 7.30pm)
N*E*R*D + McFly + The Streets Superb bill for this year’s Vodaphone beach gig. N*E*R*D feature the acclaimed Neptunes production duo Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo but this time with a funk-rock slant. They originally had to rope in ‘real’ musicians for their first album and initial gigs, but have since acclimatised themselves!! McFly are, well McFly, while Streets is one Mike Skinner, perhaps the UK’s foremost ‘street’ poet/rapper. Sunday 10 August, Brighton Beach
Jane Bartholomew With a voice as fragile and childlike as Jane’s it’s remarkable that she is able to pacify even the most unruly audiences – due in part to some unspecified aura that seems to envelope her presence. It’s also because her somewhat haunting and discombobulated voice is so damn entrancing. Thursday 7 August, Cella
The Icarus Line + Elle Milano Nice opportunity here to see these cult LA trashrockers playing a venue as ‘cosy’ as the Engine Rooms, which they’re more than likely to lay waste to. Noisy, messy squalls of sound and striking live performance are more than likely in order. Sunday 10 August, Engine Rooms
Photos by: Ben Griffiths, Floorplay@Brighton Coalition
The Mae Shi + Dananananaykroyd This LA four-piece fuse glitchy electro bleeps and garage guitar with nicely soaring singalong choruses and soulful, mellower moments. Support comes from the excellently-named Glaswegians Dananananaykroyd, who sadly aren’t as good as their moniker. Tuesday 5 August, Freebutt
Never before have I been sloshed with dance floor service, but as I bumped into Monsieur Ben Prok, by some twisted fate he had my drink of choice to hand. Without even having to glance at the bar I was loaded enough for at least the next twenty! It wasn’t long before I realised the door should have read, ‘Camp Coalition’. For the night had pulled in a national mass with campers from Manchester down to Hastings. Which for a small town girl was epic! Apparently the toilets of Manchester still attract hoards of Cheerleading ladies practicing pom-pom routines with oodles of toilet roll just like the Coalition. Would you know it?! As usual the smoking area was cig’ skin-burning bustling, but the scars just make for happy memories. Here’s the one I received from finding I was best remembered for being an ice cream clutz and using the word ‘dude’. Apparently such a phrase is quite impacting. Back to the dance floor, where my every move hung at the end of Sean Hughes’ fingertips! Coalition’s weekly celebrities Tom King and Danni were drinking up the tunes and plugging the next load ‘o’ Spunk. Can’t wait guys. I think I’d dolled out a fist of dance I.O.Us, sorry guys I never hooked up but lets face it, I dance like a dying amateur actor anyway and I reserved that spectacle for my two best boys! All in all, simple décor, no crazy outfits, just unadulterated good house music and an up for it crowd. I had an invite to the aftermath at Kabuki but I had a guy to shake. A minor sexuality misunderstanding, leading to a guy wanting to continue some floorplay... Long story.
Johnny Truant + BossK + Black Storm These metalcore bruisers have been flying the flag for Brighton’s often neglected heavy scene for a good few years now. Hopefully vocalist Olly should have recovered in time from the knee injury which led to the forced cancellation of their July dates. Thursday 7 August, Engine Rooms At Home By The Sea Two-day bash organised by Melting Vinyl and Concorde 2 (as part of their 21st birthday celebrations) and taking place along Madeira Drive and in Concorde 2 over four stages and two days and
Jason Ringenberg
Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 155 ACROSS: 5 Hobby 8 Mushroom 9 Diary 10 Thespian 11 Minus 14 Peg 16 Orange 17 Apache 18 Wag 20 Magic 24 Agnostic 25 Muted 26 Asteroid 27 Jetty DOWN: 1 Empty 2 Asset 3 Graph 4 Homage 6 Original 7 Barouche 12 Creature 13 Incident 14 Pew 15 Gag 19 August 21 Lover 22 Stoop 23 Scudo Solution to Quick 155 ACROSS: 5 Steal 8 Reliable 9 Smart 10 Elegance 11 Brags 14 Ode 16 Letter 17 Adorns 18 Err 20 River 24 Spinster 25 Maims 26 Creative 27 Start DOWN: 1 Creep 2 Alien 3 Radar 4 Sliced 6 Tomorrow 7 Arrogant 12 Hesitant 13 Streamer 14 Ore 15 Ear 19 Report 21 Sneak 22 Stair 23 Greet © Crossword Shop
30 latest 7
Win tickets to Gorgeous club night at Digital! Gorgeous, Brighton’s uber stylish long running club night hits its 15th birthday with a huge bash at Digital on Saturday 23 August and Latest 7 has ten pairs of VIP passes to give away! The event will feature DirtyElectroHouseBreaks at the front with big names such as KRIS MENACE, FLITHY FUNK FUNK and resident DJ YUSUF SEBAITI, plus FunkySexyHouseMusic at the back with MIKEE HOLLYWOOD et DAVID PANNELL. To be in with a chance to win simply answer this question: In what year did Gorgeous begin? Usual Latest competition rules apply. Send an email with Gorgeous in the subject line to competitions@thelatest.co.uk with your answer together with your, address, age, and phone number or write to the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries is Friday 15 August. Entrants must be over 18. Id will be required to get into the club.
If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk
031_LS384 music_reviews jeff
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MUSIC REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases Brighton’s Joe Lean & The Jing Jang Jong have been dividing opinion amongst the rock cognoscenti (or ‘scum’, depending upon your point of view), perhaps unsure as to whether the band have crossed that line that separates genuine earthy talent and pretentious and over-weening superficiality. Personally, I think they are the real deal. They’re armed with a dynamic twin-guitar attack and a fondness for old school doo-wop rock’n’roll. JL & JJJ don’t fall into the overly reverential/copycat school prevalent amongst many of today’s new acts (Duffy, She & Him, Cool Kids et al ). What’s particularly impressive is that the quality never drops over the course of this eponymously 13 track album. Indiana four-piece Mock Orange have been releasing records since the late 90s, and with Captian Rock have perhaps cemented themselves as the best underrated indie rock band in the west. Simply magnificent from start to finish, Mock Orange echo Alex Chilton and Big Star Regulars to these parts Big Hand are a contemporary ska outfit with bags of energy and massive enthusiasm for music. Their debut album, the invitational How About It? attempts to bring to record what they do live. It doesn’t always work however, sounding a little thin and underproduced, but there’s a raw edge and a genuinely uplifting spirit to the band’s music that doesn’t rely on ska clichés. Brazilian indie-dance outfit CSS have once again fully embraced western styles and sounds for their second album Donkey. Largely written by the band’s only male, Adriano Cintra, who is also the producer, what you get is consistently entertaining B-52’ish funky electro rock without quite scaling the heights of some of their debut. Oneida have been pushing the boundaries of alternative music for years now and their latest release, Preteen Weaponry, continues that trend. An album-length release, which is essentially one almost completely instrumental song, divided into three parts, this is the first part of the band’s planned Thank Your Parents triptych. This is an often staggeringly affecting blend of lo-fi galloping, arty guitar maelstrom and psychedelic assault that touches on the hypnotic. Brighton-based band The Crucible are clearly fans of early nineties grunge and bands like Alice In Chains. Though not quite up to the extremely high standard of their heroes’ work, they pull off a decent, if wholly unoriginal, approximation of that sound on latest single ‘Beyond Driven’. A haunting, ‘Muse meets Tool‘ B-Side rounds off a promising start for these locals. Finally, a quick mention to a new entry on the Latest Brighton Download Chart, and sMs’ ‘I’m Sorry Dave’. Sampling Stanley Kubrick’s classic sci-fi film 2001: A Space Odyssey and distorting this to even stranger extremes, this is a nice avant-garde injection, leaving the listener freaked out in a good way.
The Laughing Onion 2 COURSES AND A GLASS OF WINE
THE BRASSERIE FISH & GRILL 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina Village, Brighton BN2 5WA 01273 698989 Bookings must be made in advance. Please mention this advert when booking. Terms and conditions: Must bring the coupon to claim – one coupon up to six people. Excludes Bank Holidays and Saturday evenings.
Jean-Jacques Jordane “Sings Paris” for small parties
8 to 24 people 3 courses £17.95
01273 696555
If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.latest7.co.uk/chart Or hear the full chart with Jeff and Nick on Radio Reverb, 97.2fm every Tuesday 4-6pm/12-2am Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10
★ 1 Caramel Jack – Curtain ★ 2 sMs – I’m Sorry Dave 3 Portslade – Girls and Boys 4 Dates – Thief 5 Guerrilla Audio – Another Life 6 Caramel Jack – We Could Build Skyscrapers 7 Project Lumino – Sun 8 The Woo!worths – Konichiwa (dem oh) 9 Django Spears – No Limit 10 Electralounge – South of Normal It’s another week at the top for Caramel Jack this issue, as their idiosyncratic older tune ‘We Could Build Skyscapers’ also hits number six. Meanwhile, the electroweirdness of sMs’ ‘I’m Sorry Dave’ moves up to two, Portslade’s Blur cover slides to three, retro boys Dates move down to four and moody rockers Guerilla Audio hit five. 11 Cakeboy Damage featuring Frances Law 12 Kings of the Wild Front Ear The Healer 13 Cath O’Drae Mugged by the System 14 Leo Altarelli See it Now 15 Project Lumino Movement 16 Without Warrant Superego 17 Digitalis No Control 18 Loc E Chemical Romance 19 Kiyomori None of the Above 20 Heavyman Tomb Kreator vs. Heavyman 21 XamXam Bu Ngen Munt 22 Reckless Sons Animal 23 My Fabric Changes 24 Bastion Trust Me 25 Transformer Cinema Car
26 My Last Victory Facing the Winds of Adversity 27 Without Warrant Stop the Machine 28 Eminemmylou The Way I Am 29 Abstrakt & Buzz Devil to Pay 30 Hardkandy The Squeeze 31 Afterspark Little Glow 32 Mean Poppa Lean Ain’t Nobody 33 The Vainglories Neisseria 34 Ghost of a Thousand Left for Dead 35 My Device Uh! 36 Scribe-Tribe No 1 Can Stop Me 37 Dubdog KimBlee – Fade (Short Mix) 38 Lords Spiritual I am the Satellite 39 Hold Fire Emma-Louise 40 Joanne Arrowsmith Smile
Something Different
Escape to a paradise villa on the Costa del Sol for a catered break with luxury, peace and beauty. Large garden, pool, 3 minutes drive to beach. Golf, all sports. Great venue for weddings, reunions, etc. Sleeps up to 15. Website: www.somethingdifferent2cinspain.com Email: somethingdifferent@mac.com Phone: 0034 9567 94358 latest 7 31
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COVERSTORY managed to secure a very impressive line-up that includes Gogol Bordello, Nouvelle Vague, The Magic Numbers, Roy Ayers, Roisin Murphy, De La Soul, A Certain Ratio, Reverend and the Makers, Terry Callier, Lightspeed
The Magic Numbers
Beach ball The inaugural Beachdown festival is just a few days away. Jeff Hemmings looks at what’s in store The idea came from a stroll on Devil’s Dyke last summer according to one of the founders of Beachdown, Joe Pidgeon (responsible for founding Touch magazine, and with vast experience within the commercial sectors of the music industry) and along with Darren Murphy (ex-Inner Rhythm, the original dance music shop in the North Laine and now occupied by Ju Ju), and a suitable amount of financial backing, they concocted the idea of Brighton’s first ever proper music festival (if you exclude the old Essential festival which had no camping facilities). Aiming for a boutique style event that caters for a more discerning and slightly older audience who want a festival close by and that features great music in relaxing surroundings along with decent food and drink, Beachdown has
MUSIC&CLUBLISTINGS 5 – 11 Aug Tuesday 5 Live Music The Mae Shi + Dananananaykroyd Genresplicing hipsters fusing electro and glam rock. Freebutt, 7:30pm, £7.50 The Sixth Row + 300 Days of the Sun + The Silence Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Bars and clubs Audio Snide. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 Digital Glitterati. A classy night for students and their friends. 11pm–3am, £4/3 Pavilion Tavern Guerrilla Rocks. Indie, rock, metal and emo mash up. 10:30pm–2am, £2/1 Po Na Na Tap. Go urban with bassline, hip hop and R'n'B. 11pm–4am, £5/4 Tru Cherry Drop. Student night with club anthems and promos. 10:30pm–2:30am, £2/1 Water Margin International Student Party. Student exclusive. Drinks promos all night. 10pm–5am, free/£5
Wednesday 6 Live Music Club NME: The Locarnos The indie club night with live bands. Brighton Coalition, 8pm, £5 Farmer Jason (Jason Ringenberg) The cowpunk hero's special kids show before his main show in the evening. The Anchor Inn, 5:30pm, £3 (parents free) Jason Ringenberg Nashville man responsible for the term 'cow-punk', which, oddly, isn't a heifer with a mohican. Arf! The Anchor Inn, 7:30pm, £10 The Legendary Bee's Mouth Open Mic Does what it says on the tin. Bee's Mouth, 9pm, free. Livingston Freeman + Dirty Wonderland + Underbelly Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Maybe Myrtle Turle Bushwacka weirdo Geordies blending country, rockabilly and general mad rock and roll. Digital, 8pm, £tbc
Open Mac Night Open mic night for electronic music, so bring your laptops and samplers. Sidewinder, 9pm, free. Open Mic Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free Travis + Andrea Kenny Probably not Fran Healy and co. Juggler Bar, 8:30pm, free. World Music Wednesday: The Marietta Veulens Trio Classic era Cuban son, bolero and guaracha. Latest Music Bar (formerly Joogleberry Playhouse), 8pm, £7/5 Bars and clubs Audio Supercharged. Mid-week breaks session. 10:30pm–2:30am, £5/3 Brighton Coalition Club NME. A beerfest for All Stars wearing Rock/Indie fans. 10:30pm–3am, free
Champion, The Maccabees and The Beat and Bonobo. There is also a very healthy Brighton musical presence with acts such as Brakes, Peggy Sue and the Pictures, Los Albertos, Gloria Cycles, Fat 45, Mountain Firework Company, Carnival Collective, 12 Stone Toddler and Drookit Dogs, demonstrating the wealth of musical talent that exists here. Amongst the three music stages planned there will be a dedicated Brighton stage featuring many of the above. There’s also plenty of DJ talent on offer with renowned names such as Don Letts, Mr Scruff, Andy Weatherall and Terry Hall rubbing shoulders with Brighton clubbing institutions such as Stick it On, Jazz Bop, Bust the Box and Roots Garden. Beachdown is also about comedy, literature and spoken word, cabaret (hosted by Boogaloo Stu and Fake Bush), a kids area, theatre and a mind and body area. The organisers have also decided that the festival should be as organic as possible with almost all suppliers local. Brighton and Sussex businesses such as Due South, Sussex Yeoman, Pintxo People and Infinity Foods will be supplying food and refreshments. Situated on the South Downs near the Dyke, and with views down to the sea, Beachdown has a capacity of 11,000. Tickets are selling very fast, and only fourday tickets at £85 are available. Beachdown, 22–25 August, www.beachdownfestival.com
Audio Mad for it. Brighton's legendary indie night. 10:30pm–2:30am, free Funky Buddha Lounge Back to Ours. An eclectic mix of funk, hip hop and rare groove. , free/£2 after Honey Club Contagious. Southern FM's Paul Hilyer joins Howie, Classic house and dance anthems. 10:30pm–3am, £3/1 Ocean Rooms Desolate. Uber D'n'B from local talent. 11pm–3am, £5 Po Na Na Off the Wall. Funk, soul and Motown from the 50s to now. 10pm–3am, £2 Volks Chateau Kitsch. The unlikely lovechild of Noel Fielding and Jayne Mansfield. Sleazy electro, retro, burlesque babies, disco dollies and itchy kitschy indie! b4 11.10pm–3am, £8/6 Water Margin Artrocker. Experimental electro hooks up with indie. 8pm–3am, £5/3
Friday 8
Live Music 4 or 5 Magicians Lo-fi rockers return to the seaside. Freebutt, 7:30pm, £5 Jane Bartholomew Band + Tandy Hard + Thom Gilbert Full band supported by solo singer-songwriters. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 8pm, £4/3 Johnny Truant + BossK + Black Storm Brighton's premier metalcore bruisers. Engine Rooms, 8pm, £6 Look-In: Live bands and DJs TBC Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc The Reluctants + The Mighty Rivals Ska and soul night special with decent local acts. Latest Music Bar (formerly Joogleberry Playhouse), 8pm, £tbc Smokestack Blues band extravaganza! Bee's Mouth, 9pm, free
Live Music At Home By The Sea: Camera Obscura + Chrome Hoof + more With Wild Beasts, Esser, Magistrates, Lisa Lindley-Jones, Stuart Flynn and the Dirty Cakes, Jacobs Stories, Same Actor and White Williams. Concorde 2, 6pm, £15–22 (2 days), £10–£15 (1 day) Bark Like A Dog Blues and power blues. Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free. Blues Night Special: Papa George Top London bluesman. The Neptune, 8:30pm, free. Dawn Landes Singer-songwriter recently supported The Wedding Present. Freebutt, 7:30pm, £6 Pog Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc That'll Be The Day 50s, 60s and 70s tribute show. Pavilion Theatre (Worthing), 7:45pm, £18–£20 Totally Unsigned: Kovak + Left Hand Red + Fitsroy + The Baby Steps Featuring gruff rockers Left Hand Red and non-gruff electropeeps Kovak. Brighton Coalition, 7pm, £5/4
Bars and clubs Arc Dynamite Boogaloo. Cabaret capers plus outrageous stage games fused with top tracks from Dynamite Sal. 10pm–3am, £1.50/£3
Bars and clubs Arc Sweet and Dandy. 60s. 11pm–3am, £3 Brighton Coalition Electro, house, breaks and a little disco! 11pm–5am, £6–£10
Thursday 7
➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory at www.thelatest.co.uk
The Maccabees
Digital Stone Love. 101% maximum indie rock'n'roll.11pm–3am, £6/5 Engine Rooms Deviant. Hard moshin' rock, alternative and indie night. 11pm–2am, £3–£5 Esca Studio 69. Underground & US Disco DJ Webb Twisco. 9pm–2am, free Funky Buddha Lounge Thank Funk its Friday. Sean Quinn's party tunes. Feel the magic! 10pm–3am, £5-£7 Funky Fish The Funkyfish Club. Soul, funk, 60s and 70s. 10pm–3am, £3.50–£5 Ocean Rooms Somewhere in the Universe.Justice, MSTRKRFT and MIA. 10:30pm–3:30am, £5/3 Pavilion Tavern Kick out the Jams. Rock'n'Roll mayhem with punk and alternative. 10:30pm–3am, £4/3 Po Na Na Ice Box. Cool funky house night. 10pm–3am, £5/4 Tru Club Generation. Mainstream dance, R'n'B. 10pm–3am, £10/8 Volks Carbon. DJs Ata, Theory, Prolix, Voytek and Kosine pushing the extra rig full throttle for serious D'n'B. 11pm–5am, £3/5
Saturday 9 Live Music The Acoustic Room: Simon Stewart + Terry Emm Monthly night of acoustic performances. Three And Ten, 8pm, £6/5 At Home By The Sea: Brakes + Hot Club De Paris + more Brakes and Hot Club De Paris headlining with Shout Out Louds, The Shortwave Set, Slow Club, Thomas Tantrum, Peggy Sue and the Pirates, Charlot and Benedict Webster, Lonely Ghosts & The Bobby McGee's. Concorde 2, 6pm, £15–22 (2 days), 10–15 (1) The Charleston Chasers Orchestra reviving the roaring 20s. Pavilion Theatre (Worthing), 7:45pm, £tbc Obviously 5 Believers Country rock from Croydon! Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free The Railing Stains Rolling Stones tribute. Hopefully their guitarist will stay in the country. The Brunswick, 8pm, £10 Richard Walters + The Boy Who Kicked Pigs 'Brittle Bones' single release for the latest 7 33
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MUSIC
For full listings & venues go to latest7.co.uk
MUSIC&CLUBLISTINGS 5 – 11 Aug headliner. Support from the best named band ever. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 7:30pm, £3-5 Soul Deep Soul, Motown, northern soul, r&b and blues. Komedia, 8:30pm, £5 Too Darn Hot: Rocking and Rhythm 30s and 40s swing- party like it's 1939! Latest Music Bar (formerly Joogleberry Playhouse), 8pm, £5 Bars and clubs Audio Summer of Love. Free party with Unkool feat Senor Mick and Willerby. 10pm–4am, free Brighton Coalition Floorplay. Prok and Fitch return to take residency with guest Sean Hughes. All non-attenders will be exiled. 11pm–4am, £8/£10 Digital Twisted Peach. DJs My digital enemy, Jack Michaels, Tristan D and Anthony Brooks play the dirtiest in sexy funky, electro and tech house. 11pm–4am, £tbc Engine Rooms Punk Rock Karaoke. Sing your favourite anthems with a live backing band, no head eating permitted. 11pm–3am, £5 Esca Saturdays@Esca. Deep, Sexy, Funky, Grooves with DJ DrkHrse. 9pm–2pm, free Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Disco, funk, house and rare groove from Juice FM's Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10 Funky Fish The Funkyfish Club. Soul, funk, old skool breaks, 60s, 70s. 10pm–3am, £3.50/£5 Honey Club Sevensins. Big room electro, trance and house with guests. 10:30pm–5am, £12/5 Jazz Place The return of Russ Dewbury. After a 5 month stint Down Under, Russ returns for an exclusive 5 hour marathan set. Join Russ and the rest of the Jazz rooms family for a unique soulful session. 10:30pm–3am, £6/5 Ocean Rooms The Fiesta. Three floors of 'Music for your senses', indulge in the sins of dirty electro and techno beats 'til dawn with DJ Man and Pablo Decoder. 10:30pm–8am, £8/5 Pavilion Tavern Mod for it. Park up your Vespa and slick your hair for mod tunes from The Who, Kinks and more. 10pm–2am, £5/4 Tru Glitterbaby. Grab your 'smart jeans and fashion trainers' for commercial chart tunes played across three rooms. 10pm–3am, £10/7
The Mae Shi, Tuesday
GAYLISTINGS 5 – 11 August
Californian trash-rockers in the teensy Engine Rooms. Engine Rooms, 7:30pm, £8 Indigo Jazz covers duo. Neptune, 8:30pm, free Latin Jazz Trio Afrobeats, flamenco guitar and catchy basslines. Sidewinder, 7pm, free Thoughts Collide + The Silence Within + Your Army + This Modern Life Brighton posthardcore characters launch their latest EP. Concorde 2, 7pm, £5 Vodafone TBA: N.E.R.D + The Streets + McFly Bit of a biggie for this year's semi-secret Vodafone beach gig, with Pharrell, Mike Skinner and those chirpy McFly boys. Brighton Beach. www.vodafonemusic.co.uk for more info Bars and clubs Honey Club Sundelicious. DJs Salerno and Lee Garrett play soulful beats followed by jackin' house and electro. Sinful. 10pm- 3am, £2/1 The Open House We change the Frequency. Tipping out the box of the unpredictable music jigsaw, Stephen Jarvis boshes out all things diverse from Radiohead, Madlib, National Forest and Playgroup. 8pm, free
Candy Bar girls
Monday 11
Tuesday 5
Live Music The Bee's Mouth Jazz Forum A house band welcomes all comers and every musician gets free booze! Bee's Mouth, 8:30pm, free Michael Scorey If only it were rock-opera madmen Brian Scary and the Shredding Tears…Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Sound Sanctuary 'Simon and Garfunkel gone electronica' apparantely. Latest Music Bar (formerly Joogleberry Playhouse), 8pm, £tbc
Amsterdam Amsterdam Spice. Enjoy a curry, rice, poppadom and Cobra beer for £6.99 then a Bollywood movie! Bar Open 11am–11pm, free. Brighton Tavern Brighton Gay Men's Chorus. Bar open 12pm, free. Candy Bar Twisted Karaoke. night hosted by mistress of mic, Cat. DJ Rocket. 9pm–2am, free. Legends Relax it’s Tuesday. Enjoy the best smoking terrace in Brighton! 11pm–5am, free. Queen's Arms Karaoke with Betty Swollocks. 9pm, free. Revenge Flashback. DJs Two-foot and Lady P with 80’s hits (student promos). 10:30pm–3am, £2/free NUS. The Aquarium Theatre Bar Josh Mill's Music night. With Uncle Ben's quiz night from 9pm. Bar open 12pm, free.
Bars and clubs Honey Club Disco Babe. Disco and indie with most drinks £1.50 all night long. 10:30pm–2:30am, £3/2 Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys. Student friendly cocktail of funk, reggae, D'n'B, indie and pop. 10pm- 2:30am, £1–£3 Volks Strictly Reggae. Dancehall, Basement, roots and revival plus drinks promos. 10pm, £3.50/4.50
Sunday 10 Live Music The Icarus Line + Elle Milano A nice opportunity to catch these quality, cult
Music by Nick Aldwinckle Clubs and Bars by Jaime Pettit
Wednesday 6 Legends Relax it’s Wednesday. Enjoy the best smoking terrace in Brighton, plus the best views in and out…! 11pm–5am, free. R-Bar Cocktail club. 12pm–2am, free. Revenge pop!SEXY Chart pop and R'n'B 10:30pm–3am, £3/2 NUS. Star Inn Charity Jukebox. Food 12–3pm/6–9pm. Bar open 12pm–11pm, free. The Basement Play. with DJ Alex Baker spinning all things house. 11pm–4am, free.
The Basement Celebration. Miss Dolly Rocket presides over the ultimate cabaret. DJs Steve Lush and Alex Baker play girly pop and handbag tracks. 11pm–4am, free b4 midnight, 4 after.
Saturday 9 Amsterdam Sun Downers. Enjoy the best beach house music in Brighton. 8pm–2am. Candy Bar Sugar. Brighton's best girl DJs. 10pm, £5. Legends Pre-ignition. Enjoy the best smoking terrace in Brighton!11pm–5am, free. Queen's Arms Karaoke Party with Kamp Kevin. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30–5.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin 'til 12. Bar open 12pm–12:30am, free. R-Bar Kinky – The Early Session. Kinky Dangerous. 9pm, free. Revenge Kinky Dangerous. with party tunes downstairs and Dulcie Danger. 10:30pm–5am, £5 b4 midnight/7 after. Star Inn Bear Essentials. DJ Charlie. Bar Open 12pm–1am, free. The Aquarium Theatre Bar The other side of Tony Page. Cabaret. 9pm, free. The Basement Ignition. Set your Saturday off with a cocktail of House and dance anthems. 11pm–4am, free b4 midnight, 5 after. The PV at The Jury's Out Carly Bryant + Saturday Madness. 12pm, free.
Thursday 7 Arc Dynamite Boogaloo. Cabaret capers and outrageous stage games. 10pm–3am, £3/1. Charles Street Club Religion. Two floors of funky house. 10pm, £4/3. Legends Relax it’s Thursday. Enjoy the best smoking terrace in Brighton! 11pm–5am, free. Queen's Arms Lucky Dip Karaoke. hosted by Betty Swollocks. 12pm–11:30pm, free. R-Bar I Can't Wait for the Weekend to Begin! 9:30pm, free. Revenge Girls On Top. Popular weekly lesbian night with DJ Smiffy. 10:30pm–4am, free b4 11:30 with passes, 4/5 after. The Basement Eddie K's Jukebox. 11pm–4am,
Friday 8 Amsterdam The Jazz Lounge with Wesley Sebastian. Relax and unwind. 9pm, free. Candy Bar Booty Call. DJ Rocket plays an eclectic mix of urban grinds and pop anthems. 9pm, free b4 midnight, 4 after. Legends Pre-celebration party. Enjoy the best smoking terrace in Brighton!11pm–5am, free. Queen's Arms Andy B's Camp Attack. 12pm–1am, free. R-Bar Ssh...We're Having a Secret Disco. Bar open 12pm–7am, free. Revenge Lollipop and House of Diva. The lollipop girls along with top pop tunes from Stewart T. Upstairs you can find funky vocal house. 10:30pm–5am, free b4 11, 7/5 after. Star Inn Return of the Friday Bears Inc.. with guest DJs playing uplifting funky house and pop remixes. 8pm–1am, free. 34 latest 7
Sunday 10 Amsterdam Sunday Lunch. Traditional roasts (12–5:30pm) and relaxing Sunday vibes with cabaret. Hosted by Connie Conway from 8pm. Audio Sunday Sundae. Delve into a unique blend of old skool house and pop classics. 6pm, £3/4/5. Candy Bar The Official Candy Bar Closing Party. The Candy girls walk proudly off into the Pink Horizon . After nearly nine years creating a flagship venue for women come say a much deserved Shalom to Candy Bar. 9pm. Charles Street Bar Casino Royale. Cocktails and cards, everything but the flash Aston… 12pm–11pm, free. Legends Sunday caberet with Lola Lasagne. Enjoy the best smoking terrace in Brighton! 11pm–5am, free. The Basement Embrace. with G.A.Y DJ Nick Shepherdson. 11pm–3:30am, free.
Monday 28 Amsterdam The Monday Musical! Gimmie gimmie gimmie a musical before midnight. A la carte menu from 11am–8pm, bar open 11am. Queen's Arms Cherry Poppins Karaoke Show. plus drinks promos, 9pm. Bar open 12pm, free. Legends Dave Lynn & friends. Enjoy the best smoking terrace in Brighton!11pm–5am, free. R-Bar Miss Jason's Madhouse. regular Monday night cabaret show from 10pm. The Basement Back to the 80s & 90s. Buckle in and let DJ Steve Lush whisk you away with his classic floor-fillers. 11pm–4am, free.
➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory at www.thelatest.co.uk
035_LS384 gay news/will
7/31/08
11:37 AM
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LATESTGAY
See more at latest7.co.uk
Brighton’s only weekly gay guide
William Tells
NEWS
Will Harris discovers that Facebook can deliver some surprising revelations
Pic: Tim Richarsdon
Balls of Pride Organisers are hoping this year’s Pride festival will be the most successful yet. At the time of going to press, the team behind Pride in Brighton and Hove 2008 were enjoying a great run of events and looking forward to the biggest and best weekend parade and Preston Park party in the festival’s history. Pride kicked off with drag queens careering down Devil’s Dyke in inflatable 12ft balls. The Battle of the Balls event, staged by Pride with Orb360, the adventure firm, saw Dave Lynn, Lady James, Miss Jason and Sally Vate racing two at a time on the Downs. Onlooker Charles Whitney said: “It was really funny because they were taking the mic and doing a running commentary. There were lots of jokes. “You could hear them screaming on the way down. They got out at the bottom and flopped onto the ground. It was sunny all the time and everyone was sitting around on the grass having a barbecue and drinks. It was a beautiful setting and a really nice way to start off Pride.“ He said the crowds were invited to take up an offer to jump in an orb for £25 each, but the only people brave – or foolhardy – enough to have a go were a group of men in a stag party. The event was supported by Barefoot Wines. See next week’s Latest 7 for pictures from Pride or find out more about this year’s festival at www.brightonpride.org
If you have a story for Latest Gay pages please email news@thelatest.co.uk
In the whole pantheon of small gods that govern our increasingly complicated 21st century lives, it’s the gods of Facebook who have the best sense of humour. And when I say sense of humour, I do of course mean they take a perverse pleasure in detailing for us the most intimate details of our exes’ personal lives, to the point where we feel like clawing our own curious eyes out with sharpened USB sticks. Which is obviously not funny at all, but who are we to question the motives of the gods? Case in point: the other day I received a friendship request from my ex, Alex the First, a total of six years since I’d last heard from him (a time, incidentally, before I’d had to start ascribing my failed relationships with numerals, like they were Bavarian royalty or something). Alex and I had started dating during the 2002 World Cup and, like the England squad, didn’t make it much further than the quarter-finals.
“At no stage during the time we dated had Alex given any indication he was anything other than a dyed-in-the-gingham friend of Dorothy” It had been a short relationship, but a sweet one – sunbathing on the grass outside our student halls, watching the football in his tiny single bed, walking hand-in-hand from the Fatboy Slim concert on the beach. When the relationship ended, as abruptly as it had started, I never thought I’d hear from him again. But the Facebook gods had other ideas. Since we’d parted ways in 2002, I discovered, Alex the First had accomplished a lot: he’d got a job as a pharmacist, had travelled across Latin America, had married a woman… Wait. What? My first instinct was to laugh. It was obviously a joke, the same way my mate Annabelle’s profile says she’s married to her flatmate Ryan (the implication being that they live together, fight all the time and never have sex). But five more minutes of online archaeology and I’d unearthed a far more disquieting find: some snaps of my ex-boyfriend posing with a pretty Japanese girl in a wedding dress. I logged off, hacked off. At no stage during the two months that we dated had Alex given any indication he was anything other than a dyedin-the-gingham friend of Dorothy. If anything, he was Dorothy’s best friend, her blood brother; if he was a stick of rock he’d have read Toto all the way through. Hardly the stuff that grooms are made of. I wondered what it was that annoyed me so much about the situation. I didn’t want to get back together with him; I wasn’t even sure I fancied him anymore (the winds of change having apparently blown not only a Japanese woman into his arms but also most of the hair off his head). The thing that irked me most, I realised, wasn’t that Alex had jumped ship, switched teams or indulged in any number of other metaphors. It was that he’d dumped me but married her. I felt I was owed some answers and there was only one place I could look to for help. So I took out my laptop, got down on my knees, and prepared to pry. To be continued…
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latestTV Dani on TV
What’s hot on the box
Films on TV
SATURDAY 9
True Grit ★★★★★
Something’s Gotta Give
WEDNESDAY 6 The Belly of the Beast
Channel 4 This series followed a group of adults who can’t read or write. Some of the class had a basic knowledge of words and struggled more with their meanings, while some, generally the older class members, had absolutely no idea. Phil Beadle is a teacher who, when he found out the percentages of illiterate adults living in the UK, felt slightly ashamed. He has been a teacher for a while and felt that a couple of his pupils must have slipped through his fingers without learning all they needed to. He took it upon himself to teach a group of adults of all ages to read and write. After looking through the curriculum the government has set for teaching adults he was shocked. So he took it upon himself to teach them in a different way. And it seems to have worked.
“For illiterate people this group had big reading ambitions, from Shakespeare to Hemingway” The eldest student is a 56-year-old grandmother. She has ten children – only one of which knew she couldn’t read. She hid her illiteracy from her entire family, and after only a few classes she could recognise the difference between bread and bananas on her shopping list. She could see the words on packaging and eventually read The Very Hungry Caterpillar. In the second episode she joined the library and headed straight for Little Women. Julia is another who could not even recognise letters and, after finding out that she learnt differently to others and worked better when she could touch the words, she read a line of Shakespeare. For illiterate people this group had big reading ambitions, from Shakespeare to Hemingway. But the one thing that seemed to reappear with many of the students is that their parents were very unhelpful and offered no enthusiasm. When one told her mum she wanted to read Little Women her mother told her that she wouldn’t be able to because it would have too many long words. Other students had to ask their eight-year-old children to read things for them. And worried because they couldn’t help with their kids’ homework and were effectively passing their problems down a generation. I cannot imagine a world without words, let alone a world without books. My life would be substantially less if I lost the ability to read. So when these people got to experience joy from a story for the first time, I felt privileged to have been able to see it. Ch4, 21 July–4 August. 36 latest 7
Movies on the box this week
TUESDAY 5 (1969, Sky Movies Classics, 6.50pm. Dir Henry Hathaway) Grisly old cowboy The Duke John Wayne comes out of retirement as a US Marshall engaged by feisty young girl Mattie to help get the men that did her poor old pa in. With star turns from Glen Campbell, Robert Duvall and Denis Hopper, this is a crackin’ Western, showing the others how it really should be done.
Can’t Read, Can’t Write
5 – 11 August
★✩✩✩✩ (2003, Five, 9pm. Dir Stephen Frears) It’s your basic kidnap, cause mayhem and retrieve story, starring Steven Seagal. He’s an ex-CIA agent with a daughter who you can wager is a dab hand at screaming and not much else. Mid-week action fodder.
THURSDAY 7 Earthquake ★★★★✩ (1974, BBC1, 11.35pm. Dir Mark Robson) One of the original disaster movies and hailed by some as the best from the 70s, this sees Charlton Heston battling forces stronger even than him. It’s a massive quake in Los Angeles, and with Ava Gardner in peril and George Kennedy looking worried, we know there’s more trouble here for Charlie-boy than simply a bunch of monkeys.
FRIDAY 8 Barb Wire ★★★✩✩ (1996, Sci Fi, 10pm. Dir David Hogan) It’s post-apocalypse time again folks, and who should be starring in their very own souped-up Casablanca but Pamela Anderson. For those not familiar with the tale, Pammy owns a bar caught in the middle of difficult political times. Her ex turns up aiding the rebels and asks for help and she has to choose a side. Great fun but no danger of any Oscars.
The Jackal ★★★✩✩ (1997, BBC1, 11.20pm. Dir Michael Caton-Jones) A remake of the 70s film The Day of the Jackal based on the Frederick Forsyth thriller, Bruce Willis is an assassin who is also a master of disguise. Cunning eh? Hot on his trail are Richard Gere and Sidney Poitier, trying to stop him reaching his next target. Good solid suspenseful fun.
★★★✩✩ (2003, ITV, 10.00pm. Dir Nancy Meyers) Starring Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton. Romantic comedy. An ageing music industry executive with a liking for much younger women has a heart attack at the home of his latest consort and is left in the care of her mother. The two develop a potential for true romance, but the recuperating executive faces competition for the woman’s affections from the doctor supervising his recovery. Can a Nicholson change his spots?
SUNDAY 10 The Grapes of Wrath ★★★★★ (1940, Sky Moves Classic, 9.00pm. Dir John Ford) Starring Henry Ford, this is classic American drama which tells the story of a family, who, after losing their farm during the Great Depression in the 1930s, become migrant workers and end up in California. It details their arduous journey across the US in search of work. In 1989, this film was one of the first 25 films to be selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant”.
MONDAY 11 Million Dollar Baby ★★★✩✩ (2004, Film 4, 9.00pm. Dir Clint Eastwood) Starring Eastwood, Hilary Swank, and Morgan Freeman. The story of an under-appreciated boxing trainer and his quest for atonement by helping an amateur female boxer achieve her dream of becoming a professional. The film won four Academy Awards, including Best Picture. Good stirring stuff, and that Ms Swank does do butch so very well.
True Grit, Sky Movies Classics, Tuesday, 6.50pm
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tuesday 5 Tonightly Channel 4, 11.05pm In its first week of nightly satire and comment on the news, this is a brand new up-to-date evening show. Having warmed-up on Friday and Monday, Tuesday should have it in its stride, with host Jason Manford guiding us neatly through proceedings that include consumer theorist Steve Lipschitz and telly addict Ollie.
Dara O’Briain’s Tough Gig ITV1, 11.40pm Continuing the series of comics playing to specialist audiences away from their comfort zone, the Mock the Week host steps up to the task. Being Irish he’s spent a lot of his time avoiding, or even attacking, jokes about magic or little people. Now he must embrace them for a crowd of Middle-earth fans. Precious.
Batman BBC4, 7.35pm The Dark Knight is taking over cinemas across the land, and as dark as the latest movie is this original 60s series is light and camp. Holy catfish Batman, it appears Catwoman is out on parole and her parole officer is none other than likeable millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne. Sharpen those claws.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape to the Country 11.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.30 Cash in the Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Step Up to the Plate 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 Skunk Fu 4.05 The Story of Tracy Beaker 4.35 Roman Mysteries 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Everyone’s shocked when Phil takes his feelings out on Ben. Cos he’s always been such a gentle soul in the past with his family. Not. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby City Abra’s grip on reality slips further as psychotic episodes fill him with despair, and Kyla’s intervention forces him to reveal exactly what happened while he was away. At last! 9.00 Bonekickers A British First World War tank containing the burnt remains of six bodies is uncovered in France. Evidence of a war crime soon emerges and Gillian inadvertently ignites an international feud with French and German archaeologists. She’s usually so full of tact isn’t she? 10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Olympic Dreams Final in the four-part series looking at what it takes to succeed in elite sport. 11.25 FILM: Underclassman (2004) Starring Nick Cannon, Roselyn Sanchez. Action comedy. 12.55am Weatherview 1.00 Sign Zone: Springwatch 2.00 Jimmy Doherty’s Farming Heroes 3.00 Celebrity MasterChef 4.00 Joins BBC News
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Bob the Builder 7.10 Lunar Jim 7.20 Little Robots 7.30 Louie 7.40 Pingu 7.45 Sesame Tree 8.00 Secret Show 8.15 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 8.35 Freefonix 9.00 Raven 9.25 MySay 9.30 Adventure Florida 10.00 Get 100 10.30 The Flintstones (x2) 11.20 FILM: Never Cry Wolf (1984) 1.00pm Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Britain’s Dream Homes 2.30 Castle in the Country 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put your Money Where your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 6.00 Battle of the Brains Squelchy and aggressive, the brains ready for the attack that will go down in history as an odyssey of battle to rival The Iliad. 6.30 Eggheads More quizzing. That’s what the last show was too, by the way. 7.00 Return to... Health Farm A look back at the docu-soap that could have been a PR disaster for health farm boss Stephen Perdue. 7.30 Return to... Health Farm More colonic reminiscing. 8.00 Dr Alice Roberts: Don’t Die Young Dr Alice Roberts explains what the liver does and why its ability to suffer in silence until it is too late is both its strength and its biggest weakness. Cheers! 8.30 Dr Alice Roberts: Don’t Die Young Dr Alice Roberts peers inside her own stomach by swallowing a tiny camera – one of the latest diagnostic tools in modern medicine. 9.00 Jimmy Doherty’s Farming Heroes Jimmy discovers the secret of making chemical-free bacon, the art of ploughing, and why the UK is still in the grip of the disease that caused the original potato famine. 10.00 The Culture Show Verity Sharp gets access to rock behemoths Metallica. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Equator Documentary series. 12.20am Joins BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.25 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Inspector Morse 5.00 Golden Balls
6.10am The Hoobs 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Big Brother 9.00 Friends 10.00 Robyn’s Postcard from T4 on the Beach 10.15 T4 on the Beach: Buried Treasures 11.00 Beauty and the Geek 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 The Class 12.55 Will and Grace 1.50 Desperate Housewives 3.30 A Place by the Sea 4.30 Come Dine with Me 5.00 Richard and Judy
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Vets in Action 12.30pm Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Medical Investigation 3.10 FILM: Two Against Time (2002) 5.00 Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Thinking Tackle 12.00pm Overcoming the Majors 1.00 Sailing 1.30 Speedway 3.30 Overcoming the Majors 4.30 LIVE Pro40 League 10.00 Overcoming the Majors 11.00 European Challenge Tour Golf: Challenge of Ireland 12.00am The Premiership Years 2.00 Football Asia 2.30 World Motor Sport 5.00 Motor Racing: Classic Caterham 5.30 Football Asia
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The villagers begin looting the van. Jimmy wakes up regretting his night with Roberta. This reads like Hammer Horror plotting. 8.00 Send in the Dogs Bella the sniffer dog is on the scent for drugs, while Otto hunts for a car thief on the run. Speedy run if he’s got a car. 9.00 Doc Martin When PC Mylow heads out to the woods with Al for his stag weekend, it quickly goes horribly wrong, prompting Park Ranger Stewart and Doc Martin to search for them. And the beaches of Cornwall seem to be stormed by legions of poisonous fish. Bit surreal. 10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.40 Kingdom Pressure is mounting on Peter as he is forced to hide his fugitive brother, Simon – but how long can he keep Simon’s reappearance a secret? Meanwhile, Peter becomes involved when a doting daughter accuses her seriously ill father’s nurse of being more interested in his money than his wellbeing – but is all as it seems? Probably not. 11.40 Dara O’Briain’s Tough Gig See highlights. 12.10am Bingo Night Live 1.15 Heist 2.00 Loose Women 2.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.45 ITV Nightscreen
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Eddie confronts Calvin over the heroin and makes it known he is considering reporting him. Carmel and Leo are furious when they discover what’s happened. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 10 Years Younger Nicky Hambleton-Jones catches up on one of her favourite transformations. The team revisit Jeni Ingram, who had major dental surgery, to see if she still has a lot to smile about. 9.00 The Secret Millionaire James Benamor spent his youth involved in drugs and small crimes, but is now worth over 70million pounds – legitimate, like. Taking on a secret identity in the Manchester suburb of Moss Side, Benamor comes into contact with schemes helping young people at risk from crime, a group of women against violence, and a couple who have opened up their homes to homeless teenage boys. Who will he donate loads of dosh to? 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the BB house. 11.05 Tonightly See highlights. 11.40 Reaper Comedy series. 12.40am Bullrun: Cops, Cars and Superstars 1.05 KOTV 1.30 Big Brother Live 3.50 FIVB Beach Volleyball 4.40 London Red Bull Air Race 2008
6.00 Vets in Action 7.00 Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 7.30 Highland Emergency The members of RAF Search and Rescue 137 squadron battle fading light and high winds to rescue two climbers stuck 4,000 feet up on Ben Nevis. 8.00 The Ghosts of the Mary Rose: Revealed Professor Hugh Montgomery investigates the skeletons of the crew who drowned when the Mary Rose keeled over. 9.00 CSI: Miami Horatio and the team investigate the murder of a probation officer. Suspicion falls on a young man who is revealed to have a shocking connection to Horatio. 10.00 CSI: NY As the CSIs investigate two murders, they begin to suspect that the crimes may be connected. 11.00 Law and Order: Special Victims Unit When the detectives investigate the castration of a subway commuter, they discover that his assailant may be one of the many women he had abducted and abused. 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 European Drag Racing 1.25 IndyCar 2.15 Rolex Grand Am 3.05 Race and Rally UK 3.30 Motorsport Mundial 3.55 NHRA Drag Racing 5.10 Everybody Hates Chris 5.35 Neighbours
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Thinking Tackle 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 World Motor Sport 12.30pm The Premiership Years 2.30 World Motor Sport 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 Athletics: Great Wales Run 6.30 The Real Big Easy: Ernie Els 7.00 Motor Racing: Caterham Tour 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Poker 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Bowls 1.00 Bowls 2.00 Athletics: Great Wales Run 2.30 Overcoming The Majors 3.30 Rally Fever
Sky Sports 3 7.00am Overcoming the Majors 8.00 Cross Country Motorcycling 9.00 Bowls 10.00 Bowls 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Pipeline Adventures 12.30 Wild Spirits 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Bowls 4.00 Bowls 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Overcoming the Majors 8.00 Golf: Spoony Golf Classic 9.30 The Real Big Easy: Ernie Els 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Pool: World Cup of Pool 12.00am Golf: Spoony Golf Classic 1.30 European Challenge Tour Golf: Challenge of Ireland 2.30 Powerboat P1 Championship 3.30 Golf: Spoony Golf Classic 5.00 The Real Big Easy: Ernie Els Victoria Nangle
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Living
12.00pm Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Relic Hunter 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x3) 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Stargate: Ark of Truth 10.00 Top 50 Celebrity Meltdowns 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Street Wars 1.55 Weeds 2.30 Uncut! Reps in Ibiza
7.00pm Trexx and Flipside (x2) 8.00 The Real Hustle (x2) 9.00 Britain’s Missing Top Model: What Happened Next 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Little Britain 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Britain’s Missing Top Model: What Happened Next 12.45am I’m Kylie’s Body Double 1.45 The Real Hustle (x2)
7.00pm World News 7.30 Pop Go the Sixties 7.35 Batman See highlights. 8.00 The Sky at Night 8.30 Cult of the Onedin Line 9.00 Voyages of Discovery 10.00 The Armstrong and Miller Show 10.30 A Waste of Shame 11.55 The Man who Walked Across the World 12.55am The Sky at Night
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Britain’s Biggest Babies 9.00 FILM: The Hand That Rocks The Cradle (1992) 11.10 FILM: Unbreakable (2000) 1.15am The Black Donnellys
1.15pm Heartbeat 2.15 Pie in the Sky 3.25 On the Buses (x2) 4.25 Missing Persons 5.30 Only When I Laugh 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Home to Roost (x2) 8.00 Pie in the Sky 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 10.00 Taggart 11.35 Robin of Sherwood 12.40am Maigret 1.40 PD James: Cover Her Face
9.45am One Tree Hill 10.40 Smallville 11.35 Gilmore Girls 12.30pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.20 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Smallville (x2) 11.00 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.35 Big Brother: Live
1.00pm Deal or No Deal 1.50 ER 2.50 Hill Street Blues 3.50 Time Team 4.50 Relocation, Relocation 5.55 Selling Houses Abroad 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Celebrity Come Dine with Me 10.00 True Stories: the Thin Blue Line 12.05am Third Watch 1.05 True Stories: the Thin Blue Line
2.00pm Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will and Grace (x2) 8.00 America’s Psychic Challenge 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Private Practice 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Ghost Whisperer 1.00 Will and Grace (x2)
UK TV Gold
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
3.00pm The Two Ronnies 4.00 Doctor Who 5.00 Open all Hours 5.40 My Family 6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.00 The Royle Family 10.40 The Catherine Tate Show 11.15 The Two Ronnies 12.20am New Adventures of Old Christine
3.00pm Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 South Park (x2) 12.50am Badly Dubbed Porn 1.20 Sexy Cam
2.00pm Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How it’s Made 7.30 How do They do It? 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Survivorman 10.00 Surviving Sharks 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Unsolved Murders 12.30 Crime Scene USA
12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Dark Storm (2006) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 Quantum Leap 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Sands Of Oblivion (2007) 11.50 Heroes 12.50am FILM: The Darkroom (2006) 2.30 Ghost Stories 3.00 Angel
11.00am Don’t Bother To Knock (1952) 12.20pm Breakfast At Tiffany’s (1961) 2.20 35mm 2.50 Funny Face (1957) 4.40 The Apartment (1960) 6.50 True Grit (1969) 9.00 Breakfast At Tiffany’s (1961) 10.55 In Cold Blood (1967) 1.10am I’ll Never Forget What’s ‘is Name (1969) 2.55 True Grit (1969)
11.35am The Ground Truth (2006) 1.10pm Seven Swords (2005) 3.40 Ballets Russes 5.50 Days Of Glory (2005) 8.00 Wilde (1997) 10.00 This Year’s Love (1998) 11.55 A Time To Leave (2005) 1.20am Indie Close-Up 1.50 Dad Savage (1998) 3.40 The Ground Truth (2006)
1.00pm There’s No Business Like Show Business (1954) 3.15 Chance Of A Lifetime (1950) 5.00 Campbell’s Kingdom (1958) 7.00 Doctor In Distress (1963) 9.00 Stuck On You (2003) 11.10 The Player (1992) Robert Altman’s satirical look at movies with Tim Robbins. 1.35am The Fly (1986)
2.45pm Offset: Anjelica Huston 3.00 The Treasure Of The Sierra Madre (1948) 5.15 The Red Badge Of Courage (1951) 6.45 Offset: Anjelica Huston 7.10 In This Our Life (1942) 9.00 Wise Guys (1986) 10.40 Alex In Wonderland (1970) 12.45am Zabriskie Point (1969) 2.45 The Fixer (1968) 5.00 Cabin In The Cotton (1932)
Classics
Indie
038_LS384_TV_Wed
7/29/08
4:29 PM
Page 1
wednesday 6 Trinny and Susannah Undress the Nation ITV1, 9pm Bums, bums, bums – and so say Trinnie and Susannah. Apparently we need to love our bums more. To help eight women who loathe their backsides they take them to Brighton’s award-winning sculptor Jamie McCartney for a spot of bum-casting. Will it help them? Go on, love your bum.
Dangerous Jobs for Girls Channel 4, 10pm Dating back to the times of the Greeks there have been women doing toughly physical jobs and men saying that they can do it better. This series sees a group of British women travelling to remote parts of the world having exactly that argument in front of the cameras. This week they join a logging crew in Canada. Brrrr.
Ghost Whisperer E4, 9pm and 10pm Feeling a little supernatural but not up to things that make proper bumps in the night? Then have a shot at this Jennifer Love Hewitt vehicle about a young lady who helps troubled spirits with their unfinished business before they ‘cross over’. Tonight sees a boxer’s mother and a stand-up comedian in need. He died.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape to the Country 11.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.30 Cash in the Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Regional News and Weather 1.50 Doctors 2.50 BBC News 3.00 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.20 Take a Bow 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 Skunk Fu 4.03 The Owl 4.05 Young Dracula 4.35 Serious Ocean 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Bob the Builder 7.10 Lunar Jim 7.20 Little Robots 7.30 Louie 7.40 Pingu 7.45 Sesame Tree 8.00 Secret Show 8.15 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 8.35 Freefonix 9.00 Raven 9.30 Adventure Florida 10.00 Get 100 10.30 The Flintstones 10.55 The Flintstones 11.20 FILM: Space Camp (1986) 1.00pm Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Britain’s Dream Homes 2.30 Castle in the Country 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put your Money Where your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 6.00 Battle of the Brains Sounds like a cross between Extreme Makeover and Gladiators, actually a quiz. Simple. 6.30 Eggheads More quiz action. 7.00 Grow Your Own Veg! Carol takes first-time veg grower Louise to a seed swap and lends her family a helping hand in their brand new veg garden. Aww. 7.30 Des Lynam: Sport Mastermind 8.00 Francesco’s Mediterranean Voyage Francesco is surprised by an invite to a Cretan wedding. 8.30 Francesco’s Mediterranean Voyage Francesco da Mosto approaches the last group of the Greek islands – the Dodecanese. 9.00 House of Saddam Drama. It is 1988 and the Iran/Iraq war has ended with numerous casualties and no gain of land, and yet Saddam Hussein declares a victory. Always had his own way of seeing things, Saddam. 10.00 Room 101 Jenny Eclair suggests charmless muggers and Tottenham Court Road. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Long Way Round Ewan has a bad fall in a stream that damages his bike. Travelogue. 12.20am Des Lynam: Sport Mastermind 12.50 Season Ticket Special: Bann to Beijing 1.40 Joins BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.25 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Inspector Morse 5.00 Golden Balls
6.10am The Hoobs 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Friends 10.00 Gok Wan’s Postcard from T4 on the Beach 10.15 Vodafone TBA Live 2008: Sugababes 10.45 Vodafone TBA Sidekick: The Hoosiers 11.00 Beauty and the Geek 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 The Class 12.55 Will and Grace 1.45 Desperate Housewives 3.25 A Place by the Sea 4.30 Come Dine with Me 5.00 Richard and Judy
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Vets in Action 12.30pm Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Medical Investigation 3.10 FILM: Wedding Daze (2004) 5.00 Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 Poker 12.30pm The Premiership Years 2.30 Poker 3.30 Sky Sports Classics 4.30 LIVE Pro40 League 10.00 Big League Weekend 11.30 USPGA Official Film 2007 12.30am FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.00 Big League Weekend 2.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.30 Total Rugby 4.00 Sports Unlimited 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The Valentines unite to help Sasha get through cold turkey and stop taking heroin. Calvin is horrified when he realises that Warren has CCTV footage of him buying heroin for Sasha. How long will that tape be useful to Warren? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Location, Location, Location Phil helps an internet entrepreneur and his wife find their dream one million pound home. But an exhaustive wish-list proves to be a sticking point. Meanwhile, Kirstie helps a young family in Chelmsford find a house on a modest budget. But dad Aiden causes trouble when he refuses to settle for anything that isn’t perfect. Maybe he should try Kevin McCloud instead. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the BB house. 10.00 Dangerous Jobs for Girls See highlights. 11.05 Tonightly Comedy entertainment show presented by Jason Manford. 11.40 T-Mobile Transmission 12.40am 4 Music: Road to V 2008 12.55 4 Music: Beat Stevie 1.10 Big Brother Live 4.25 St Elsewhere 5.10 Richard and Judy
6.00 Vets in Action Joanne is called to deal with a bug causing blindness in a herd of goats. 7.00 Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 7.30 Massive Speed Chris Barrie turns his attention to armoured vehicles, tracing their evolution from the early Rolls-Royce models of World War I, up to the modern-day bomb-proof presidential limousine capable of speeds of over 200kph. 8.00 Britain’s Strongest Man Athletes from England, Scotland and Wales compete across a range of disciplines in the first round of Britain’s Strongest Man 2008. Great for getting ideas as to how to give yourself a hernia. 9.00 FILM: The Belly Of The Beast (2003) Starring Steven Seagal, Byron Mann. Action drama. An ex-CIA agent’s quest to find his kidnapped daughter leads him on a trail of political intrigue, corruption and danger. And frowning. Loads of that. 10.55 CCTV Cities Series revealing real-life footage of urban crime, presented by Donal MacIntyre. 11.55 PartyPoker.com World Open IV 1.25am Major League Baseball 4.45 ETU Triathlon 5.10 Everybody Hates Chris 5.35 Neighbours
6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 My Family It’s the day before Roger and Abi’s wedding but, for this accident-prone couple, until the marriage is solemnised, anything can happen and probably will. A lark. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Lost Land of the Jaguar The team push further into the jungle wilderness, searching for unusual and endangered animals that live there. Don’t step there! 9.00 Crimewatch Solved The story of three cases cracked with help from CW viewers. The callous murder of special constable Nisha Patel Nasri by her cheating husband Fadi, the notorious gang of jewel thieves who netted over a million pounds, and how detectives caught the predatory paedophile who snatched a six-yearold girl from her own bath. No nightmares here, matey. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws 10.45 The Visit Comedy. 11.15 The Tudors Historical drama. 12.10am Weatherview 12.15 Sign Zone: Tribal Wives 1.15 Who’s Buying Up Britain? 1.45 DIY SOS 2.15 Top Gear 3.15 Francesco’s Mediterranean Voyage 3.45 Joins BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jimmy is furious when the contents of the stolen van start appearing in the village. He he. 7.30 Coronation Street Tony uses Rosie to wind up Kevin. Shouldn’t be difficult. 8.00 The Bill Introducing new regular Claire Goose as Sergeant Rachel Weston. Rachel and Mickey investigate a break-in at a jewellers. Two squatters are brought in for questioning – and it soon becomes apparent that the break-in is part of an insurance scam. 9.00 Trinny and Susannah Undress the Nation See highlights. 10.00 News at Ten and Weather 10.40 Six Degrees Ray decides to create a corporate headquarters for all his investments – which includes Whitney’s company. While working on the decorations for the headquarters, Laura and Caseman seem to hit it off. Small world. 11.40 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show Another chance to see Katy Brand’s sketch show, featuring a host of new characters as well as her own inimitable take on everything. 12.10am Bingo Night Live 1.10 Heist 2.00 Loose Women 2.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Athletics 8.30 The Real Big Easy: Ernie Els 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Motor Racing 10.00 Pool 11.00 Golf: PGA Euro Pro Tour 1.00pm Golf: Challenge of Ireland 2.00 Overcoming the Majors 3.00 Golf: PGA Euro Pro Tour 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 USPGA Official Film 2007 8.00 Big League Weekend Special 9.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.00 USPGA Official Film 2007 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Total Rugby 12.30 European Tour Weekly 1.00 Golf: PGA Euro Pro Tour 3.00 USPGA Official Film 2007 4.00 European Tour Weekly 4.30 Big League Weekend Special
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Powerboat P1 Championship 7.00 Overcoming the Majors 8.00 Rally Fever 9.00 Golf: Challenge of Ireland 10.00 Overcoming the Majors 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 Motor Racing 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 Pool 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 Total Rugby 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Irish Greyhound Racing 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00am The Premiership Years 2.00 Trans World Sport 3.00 Boots ‘n’ All Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky One
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
12.00pm Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Relic Hunter 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x3) 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Don’t Forget the Lyrics US 9.00 FILM: Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) 11.15 Inside: Alaska’s Toughest Prison 12.15am Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Make My Body Younger 9.00 FILM: Herbie: Fully Loaded (2005) 10.30 Family Guy (x2) 11.20 Make My Body Younger 12.20am Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 12.50 Snog Marry Avoid? 1.20 I’m Kylie’s Body Double 2.15 Jamelia: Whose Hair is it Anyway?
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Pop Go the Sixties 7.35 Batman 8.00 Sahara with Michael Palin 9.00 The Thirties in Colour 10.00 The Burning Season: Storyville 11.20 Coal House 11.50 The Man who Walked Across the World 12.50am The Thirties in Colour 1.50 The Burning Season: Storyville
1.00pm Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Lose 30 Stone or Die 9.00 FILM: Unbreakable (2000) 11.05 Coronation Street 11.35 FILM: Mission: Impossible II (2000) 1.55am Teleshopping
1.15pm Heartbeat 2.15 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.25 On the Buses (x2) 4.25 Missing Persons 5.25 Only When I Laugh 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Home to Roost (x2) 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Drama Trails: Secret Diary of a Call Girl to London’s Burning 10.00 Lewis 12.00am Agatha Christie’s Poirot
10.40am Smallville 11.35 Gilmore Girls 12.30pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Ghost Whisperer (x2). See highlights. 11.00 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.35 Big Brother: Live
1.50pm ER 2.50 Hill Street Blues 3.50 Time Team 4.50 Relocation, Relocation 5.55 Selling Houses Abroad 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Father Ted 9.30 Back to You 10.00 The IT Crowd 10.35 TV Heaven, Telly Hell 11.05 Amy Winehouse: What Really Happened? 12.10am Third Watch
2.00pm Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will and Grace (x2) 8.00 Private Practice 9.00 Diet on the Dancefloor 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Ghost Whisperer 1.00 Will and Grace (x2) 2.00 Diet on the Dancefloor
UK TV Gold
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
3.00pm The Two Ronnies 4.00 Doctor Who 5.00 Open all Hours 5.40 My Family 6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.05 The Royle Family 10.45 A Bit of Fry and Laurie 11.25 The Two Ronnies 12.25am New Adventures of Old Christine
3.00pm Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Kitchen Confidential (x2) 12.50am Badly Dubbed Porn
2.00pm Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How it’s Made 7.30 How do They do It? 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 The Elite Forces 10.00 Days that Shook the World 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Unsolved Murders
12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: The Great Los Angeles Earthquake (1990) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 Quantum Leap 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Cocoon (1985) 12.20am Heroes 1.20 FILM: Devil’s Den (2006) 3.00 Stephen King’s the Stand
1.30pm The Big Clock (1948) 3.10 Topaz (1969) 5.35 Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969) 7.10 The Nutty Professor (1963) 9.00 Shadow Of A Doubt (1943) 10.50 The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner (1962) 12.45am Island In The Sky (1953) 2.45 The Big Clock (1948) 4.30 Topaz (1969)
2.50pm The Last Mogul: Life And Times Of Lew Wasserman (2005) 4.30 Neil Young: Heart Of Gold (2005) 6.15 Fire (1996) 8.10 Earth (1998) 10.00 Water (2005) 12.00am New Police Story (2004) 2.40 The Last Mogul: Life And Times Of Lew Wasserman (2005) 4.30 Indie Close-Up
1.00pm The Kidnappers (1953) 2.55 Moulin Rouge (1952) 5.10 How To Marry A Millionaire (1953) 7.00 Heaven Can Wait (1978) Warren Beatty stars in this gentle comedy about a football star brought back as a millionaire. 9.00 Clueless (1995) 10.45 Mutual Appreciation (2005) 12.55am The Actors (2002)
1.00pm The Mayor Of Casterbridge 3.00 The Sunshine Boys (1975) 5.00 The Opposite Sex (1956) 7.10 Skyjacked (1972) 9.00 The Drowning Pool (1975) 11.15 Shoot The Moon (1982) 1.25am The Story Of Louis Pasteur (1936) 3.00 Shaft’s Big Score! (1972) 5.00 The Girl From Missouri (1934)
Classics
Indie
039_LS384_TV_Thu
7/30/08
4:49 PM
Page 1
thursday 7 Mock the Week BBC2, 9pm There’s so much happening in the world at the moment how are we supposed to take all of it seriously? We’re not. Here is a demonstration as to how to be frivolous and satirical in the most recent of concerns. The panel show is hosted by Dara O’Briain, with the regular reprobates and guests Zoe Lyons and Ed Byrne.
Kizzy: Mum at 14 BBC1, 10.35pm With Britain leading the way in Europe for teenage pregnancies – we had to come top in something – this is one young girl’s story of approaching motherhood. The 13-year-old father skipped town as soon as he heard the pitter-patter and it’s fast growing up for the girl who is barely a teenager herself.
The Way we Travelled BBC4, 8pm Fed up with your carbon footprint and guilt every time you start daydreaming about a week on the sand? Well find out how it used to be in this, the last of a three-part series of documentaries on how holiday and travel shows have changed the British public’s opinion of ‘foreign’. Ferry-time?
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape to the Country 11.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.30 Cash in the Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Step Up to the Plate 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 Skunk Fu 4.00 Bernard 4.05 Best of Friends 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Raven 9.25 MySay 9.30 Adventure Florida 10.00 Get 100 10.30 FILM: Duck Tales – The Movie: Treasure Of The Lost Lamp (1990) 11.40 FILM: A Boy Named Charlie Brown (1969) 1.00pm Out of the Blue 1.30 Britain’s Dream Homes 2.30 Castle in the Country 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put your Money Where your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash in the Celebrity Attic
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.25 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Inspector Morse 5.00 Golden Balls
6.10am The Hoobs 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Big Brother 8.55 Friends 10.00 Ne-Yo’s Postcard from T4 on the Beach 10.15 Vodafone TBA 2008 Live: The Hoosiers 10.45 Vodafone TBA Sidekick: The Feeling 11.00 Beauty and the Geek 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 The Class 12.55 Will and Grace 1.45 Desperate Housewives 3.30 A Place by the Sea 4.30 Come Dine with Me 5.00 Richard and Judy
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Vets in Action 12.30pm Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Medical Investigation 3.10 FILM: Vanished Without A Trace (1998) 5.00 Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Big League Weekend 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 6.30pm LIVE Golf: USPGA Championship 12.00am Barclays Premier League World 12.30 Test Cricket 2.30 Barclays Premier League World 3.00 Race World 4.00 Test Cricket
6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Ronnie discovers Max’s dark side, she was warned. 8.30 Rogue Restaurants Consumer series looking at the state of Britain’s restaurants and pubs, presented by Matt Allwright and Anita Rani. 9.00 The Making of Me In the final episode of this ground-breaking science series, internationally famous violinist Vanessa Mae asks scientists: what made me the way I am? Was she born a musical prodigy or did the powerful influence of her mother shape her musical talent? Just the chance to push her mum into phsycoanalysis. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Kizzy: Mum at 14 See highlights. 11.35 FILM: Earthquake (1974) Starring Charlton Heston, Ava Gardner, George Kennedy. Star-studded disaster epic about a series of devastating tremors that causes havoc in Los Angeles. 1.35am Weatherview 1.40 Sign Zone: Panorama 2.10 River Police 2.40 Countryfile 3.35 Celebrity MasterChef 4.05 Francesco’s Mediterranean Voyage 4.35 Joins BBC News
6.00 Battle of the Brains Not an intellectual superhero confrontation. Just a quiz. 6.30 Eggheads More quizzing. 7.00 Return to... Holiday Reps What happened to the girls who were filmed? Did they enjoy their 15 minutes of fame, or regret their candid camera moments? 7.30 Return to... Holiday Reps Looking back at the sun, sea and romance of 1997’s Holiday Reps. 8.00 A Turtle’s Guide to the Pacific A loggerhead turtle journeys across the Pacific, meeting dolphins and whales, sharks and giant squids, and typhoons and fishermen along the way. Useful if you ARE a turtle, and entertaining to mammals also. 8.50 Wild Nature documentary. 9.00 Mock the Week See highlights. 9.30 Lab Rats Chaotic sitcom. Can the Lab Rats stay up for seven nights in a secret underground government facility without killing each other? 10.00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks Simon Amstell presents with captains Phill Jupitus and Noel Fielding. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Culture Show Uncut Verity Sharp gets access to rock behemoths Metallica. 12.05am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12.35 How I Met your Mother (x2) 1.20 Joins BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale In hospital, Jo tries to cover up how she got hurt. Emmerdale tackles big issues alert. 7.30 By Royal Appointment Today Hannah Scott-Joynt explores the City of Westminster. 8.00 The Bill Rachel and Nate find a woman, Paula Merrick, unconscious in an alleyway. At the hospital, she reveals to Samantha and Banksy that she had been out the previous night and had been flirting with male stripper Tom Norris. 9.00 Harley Street Robert attends to elderly sisters Betty and Gwen – they look harmless enough but is something more sinister going on? Like what? Raving on their dementia tablets? 10.00 News at Ten and Weather 10.40 The Way We Were A trip down memory lane. 11.10 Inside Crime Who killed Dawn Bassaragh, a young mother, who was hit by two cars, apparently racing each other along a main road in north London? Do you know? 11.40 Bouncers 12.10am Bingo Night Live 1.15 Motorsport UK 1.40 Heist 2.25 Loose Women 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Following Newt’s confession to Jack’s murder, Frankie and Darren desperately try to get the youngster to come out of his bedroom. That well-known safe house from police detection. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix Gok works on a budget of just £800 pounds to create four glamorous outfits. Oh to have such a ‘budget’! Alexa chats to French designer Jean Paul Gaultier, while Gok hits the streets of Brighton to look for more stylish dressers. There’s bound to be loads in such a stylish city. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the BB house. 10.00 The Charlotte Church Show The Welsh pop and classical singer presents her own show. 10.45 My Name is Earl Earl and Billie are having troubles, so Earl tries to discover the reason why karma brought them together. 11.15 Tonightly Comedy entertainment show. 11.45 The Kevin Bishop Show 12.15am 4 Music: Ibiza Rocks with Sony Ericsson 12.50 4 Music: Road to V 2008 1.05 Big Brother Live 3.25 FILM: The Education Of Little Tree (1998) 5.20 St Elsewhere
6.00 Vets in Action Carl rushes to the aid of a cow with a twisted stomach. Ow. Ow, ow, ow. 7.00 Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 7.15 Cricket on Five Highlights from the first day of the fourth npower Test match between England and South Africa at the Brit Oval. 8.00 Hannibal of the Alps Documentary telling the story of how Hannibal, one of the greatest commanders of all time, brought Rome to its knees and transformed the western world. No elephants were hurt in the making of this film. 9.00 The Hotel Inspector Alex Polizzi visits a guesthouse in Torquay, where the owner’s personal problems have prevented her from arresting the hotel’s slide towards bankruptcy. 10.00 Grey’s Anatomy The chairman of the hospital board is admitted with an embarrassing problem. George makes a big decision about his future. Lollipop man of bust! 11.00 My Strange Brain Documentary series exploring unusual neurological conditions. This installment features the stories of people who have lost their sense of personal identity. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 Major League Soccer 4.45 Nick’s Quest 5.10 Everybody Hates Chris 5.35 Neighbours
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 USPGA Official Film 2007 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 Total Rugby 12.00pm USPGA Official Film 2007 1.00 Big League Weekend Special 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 The Premiership Years 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 Pipeline Adventures 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 ATP Tennis Magazine 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 LIVE Sky Poker Five O 12.00am NFL – Total Access 1.00 LIVE NFL 4.30 Barclays Premier League World 5.00 ATP Tennis Magazine
Sky Sports 3 6.30am Watersports World 7.30 Clipper Round the World Race 8.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Clipper Round the World Race 12.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Tenpin Bowling: World Masters 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 Watersports World 7.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 7.30 LIVE Rugby League 9.30 WWE Late Night Raw 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am The Premiership Years 2.30 ATP Tennis Magazine
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky One
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
12.00pm Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Relic Hunter 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x3) 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Bones 10.00 Diary of a Mail Order Bride 11.00 Road Wars (x2) 1.00am Street Wars 1.50 Weeds 2.25 Uncut! Reps in Ibiza
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The Real Hustle 8.30 Britain’s Missing Top Model: What Happened Next 9.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 10.00 EastEnders 11.00 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Britain’s Missing Top Model: What Happened Next
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Born to be Wild 8.00 The Way We Travelled. See highlights. 9.00 Travellers’ Century 10.00 Journeys into the Ring of Fire 11.00 BBC Four Sessions 12.00am Born to be Wild 12.30 Travellers’ Century 1.30 Journeys into the Ring of Fire 2.30 Born to be Wild
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Trinny and Susannah Undress the Nation 9.00 FILM: Mission: Impossible II (2000) 11.20 Secret Diary of a Call Girl 11.55 Secret Diary of a Call Girl 12.25am Call Girls: The Truth
3.25pm On the Buses (x2) 4.25 Missing Persons 5.30 Only When I Laugh 6.00 Heartbeat 7.00 Home to Roost (x2) 8.00 The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Kavanagh QC 11.40 FILM: Murder By Decree (1979) 2.00am PD James: Cover Her Face 2.55 Upstairs, Downstairs
1.20pm Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.20 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Scrubs 9.30 My Name is Earl 10.00 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 10.35 Alan Carr’s Celebrity Ding Dong 11.25 Funny Cuts (x2) 11.55 Big Brother: Live
1.00pm Deal or No Deal 1.50 ER 2.50 Hill Street Blues 3.50 Time Team 4.50 Relocation, Relocation 5.55 Selling Houses Abroad 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show with Jon Stewart 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 10.00 Without a Trace (x2) 12.00am Third Watch
2.00pm Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will and Grace (x2) 7.55 The Fix 8.00 Men in Trees 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Ibiza 2008 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Ghost Whisperer 1.00 Will and Grace (x2) 2.00 Ibiza 2008
UK TV Gold
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
4.00pm Doctor Who 5.00 Open all Hours 5.40 My Family 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 Last of the Summer Wine 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.00 The Good Life 10.40 A Bit of Fry and Laurie 11.20 The Two Ronnies 12.20am New Adventures of Old Christine
3.00pm Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 12.50am Badly Dubbed Porn
1.00pm The FBI Files 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How it’s Made 7.30 How do They do It? 8.00 My Shocking Story 9.00 Real ER: The Bronx 10.00 Deranged Killers 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Unsolved Murders
12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Nuclear Hurricane (2007) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 The Lost World 6.00 Quantum Leap 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Meltdown: Days Of Destruction (2006) 11.50 Heroes 12.50am FILM: The Thing (1982) 3.00 Angel
1.45pm Phantom Of The Opera (1962) 3.15 35mm 3.45 The Bridges At Toko-Ri (1954) 5.35 Saturday Night And Sunday Morning (1960) 7.10 Billion Dollar Brain (1967) 9.00 Underworld USA (1961) 10.45 Phantom Of The Opera (1962) 12.25am The Killers (1964) 2.15 Underworld USA (1961)
9.00am Cinema Paradiso (1988) 11.55 Hollywood Bombs & Blockbusters 1.25pm Tube Tales (1999) 3.00 L’enfant (2005) 4.40 Best (1999) 6.30 Shooting Fish (1997) 8.25 The Escapist (2001) 10.00 L’enfant (2005) 11.40 Suicide Kings (1997) 1.30am Warrior King (2005)
1.00pm A Man Called Peter (1955) 3.20 From Hell To Texas (1958) 5.25 The Muse (1999) 7.15 Carry On Dick (1974) 9.00 Million Dollar Baby (2004) Hilary Swank won an Oscar for this portrayal of an underdog female boxer. 11.35 Garden State (2004) 1.30am Funny Ha Ha (2002)
9.50am Invasion Quartet (1961) 11.30 The Day They Robbed The Bank Of England (1960) 1.00pm The Mayor Of Casterbridge 2.00 Ride Him Cowboy (1932) 3.00 Blossoms In The Dust (1941) 4.45 The Prize (1963) 7.15 Tick... Tick... Tick (1970) 9.00 Catholic Boys (1985) 10.55 Cannery Row (1982) 1.10am The Outrage (1964)
Classics
Indie
040_LS384_TV_Fri
8/1/08
10:56 AM
Page 1
friday 8 Olympics 2008: Games Today BBC1, 7pm It’s started! If you had to go to work today – yah! boo! sucks! – then you’ll have missed the opening ceremony, but do not fear. Those lovely BBC folk have picked out the highlights for us, along with the delightful Gabby Logan providing a rundown of all the athletes to watch out for.
Mum’s The Business BBC2, 7pm Since 2000 the number of women running their own businesses has grown by 20 per cent. More women are choosing to work for themselves as the best way to juggle a career and motherhood. Money Programme presenter Saira Khan asks why this is and how practical it is being a mother and a boss.
Legends BBC4, 9pm Under the spotlight tonight is the grande dame of jazz singing Ella Fitzgerald’s and an extraordinary career, which spanned over half a century. Starting with her winning turn at the Harlem Apollo’s amateur night in 1934 to her triumphant stage career which continued almost up to her death in 1996.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape to the Country 11.00 Homes under the Hammer 11.30 Cash in the Attic 12.00pm BBC News 12.30 Regional News and Weather 12.45 Opening Ceremony: Beijing 2008 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Opening Ceremony: Beijing 2008 4.45 Flog It! 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Raven 9.25 MySay 9.30 Adventure Florida 10.00 Get 100 10.30 FILM: An American Tail: The Mystery Of The Night Monster (2000) 11.40 FILM: When Zachary Beaver Came To Town (2003) 1.00pm Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Open Gardens 2.00 Castle in the Country (x2) 3.05 Jakers 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 Uncle Max 3.59 The Owl 4.05 Best of Friends 4.35 Sorry, I’ve got no Head 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Cash in the Celebrity Attic
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.25 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Inspector Morse 5.00 Golden Balls
6.10am The Hoobs 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Big Brother 9.00 Friends 9.55 The Hoosiers’ Postcard from T4 on the Beach 10.10 Vodafone TBA Live 2008: The Feeling 10.45 Vodafone TBA Sidekick: Sugababes 11.00 Beauty and the Geek 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 Will and Grace 1.45 Desperate Housewives 3.25 A Place by the Sea 4.30 Come Dine with Me 5.00 Richard and Judy
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Vets in Action 12.30pm Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Medical Investigation 3.10 Five News Update 3.15 FILM: Fielder’s Choice (2004) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Trans World Sport 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 6.30pm LIVE Golf: USPGA Championship 12.00am Football: LG Amsterdam Tournament 2.00 Test Cricket 4.00 Football Asia 4.30 Pipeline Adventures 5.00 NFL – Total Access
6.00 Battle of the Brains Quiz hour kicks off.. 6.30 Eggheads ...Quiz hour comes to a close. 7.00 Mum’s the Business See highlights. 7.30 Return to... Holiday Reps Looking back at the sun, sea and romance of 1997’s Holiday Reps. 8.00 Gardeners’ World How does location, lifestyle and work reflect on the way we garden? We visit Chelsea gold-medal winner Cleve West to see how his work and leisure time has influenced his garden. 9.00 The Tudors Henry’s court lacks Christmas cheer with Queen Caroline excluded, Thomas More alienated, and Anne Boleyn rumoured against. Typical family grudges for the festive season then. No one get out the Monopoly. 10.00 QI Stephen Fry chairs the almost impossible quiz with panellists Alan Davies, Bill Bailey, Meera Syal and Clive Anderson. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Jonathan Ross Salutes Dad’s Army One-off special to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the classic show, Dad’s Army. 12.20am Star Trek: the Next Generation (x2) 1.50 FILM: Incense For The Damned (1970) So the damned smell bad and need joss sticks? Curious. 3.10 How I met your Mother (x2)
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Daz reluctantly covers for Victoria. He’s always being played by young ladies, bless him. 7.30 Coronation Street Tina finds out what David’s been up to. Tony tries to bribe a difficult tenant. Blanche gets Deirdre curious about Ken’s book. Surely it’s a Christmas tell-all explaining once and for all the love lives of both he and Deirdre over the last 40 years. 8.00 Tiger Island They’ve been waiting over a year, but the zoo finally gets the news that they can rescue male tiger Rambo from the USA. And tigress Czarina is taken in for emergency surgery again. 8.30 Coronation Street Will Tina forgive David? Teresa steps up her campaign to make Jerry dependent on her. Deirdre’s upset by Ken’s novel. Quelle surprise. 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot At a bridge party the host is murdered. Poirot soon discovers that four of the guests have murdered before as he uses psychology and the bridge scores to find the killer. Trumps. 11.00 The Late News; Weather 11.45 Bingo Night Live 12.50am Nightwatch with Steve Scott – Crime 1.45 FILM: Summer Catch (2001) 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.00 CITV: Jim Jam and Sunny (x5)
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Mandy tries to put together a modelling agency. Don’t you have to be a model to live in Hollyoaks anyway? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Time Warp Wives First Cut presents Sally Hewitt’s directorial debut film as she meets four women who are desperate to be oldfashioned housewives. And it’s not just vintage clothes and décor. They have vintage values to match. 8.00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 25-year-old Esme Todd must decide between a student let in Nottingham or a holiday rental flat on the beautiful Maltese island of Gozo. 9.00 Big Brother Davina McCall announces the results live. Plus highlights from the past 24 hours. Please do not swear. 10.00 The Kevin Bishop Show A fast-paced sketch show. 10.35 Big Brother The evicted housemate leaves the house and chats with Davina McCall. 11.05 Tonightly Comedy entertainment show. 11.40 Coming Up: the Thai Bride 12.10am 4 Music: T-Mobile Transmission 1.10 4 Music: 4Play: Script 1.25 Bullrun: Cops, Cars & Superstars 1.50 Big Brother Live 4.20 Goalissimo! 5.15 Trans World Sport
6.00 Vets in Action Documentary series following four teams of country vets. The vets turn their attention to some domestic animals. 7.00 Five News 7.15 Cricket on Five Highlights from the second day of the fourth npower Test match between England and South Africa at the Brit Oval. 8.00 Superstars Dame Kelly Holmes pits her Red team against Roger Black’s Yellows. With every point now counting towards qualification for the final, will Kelly and Roger be tempted to play their wildcards? Get ‘There is Nothing Like a Dame’ stuck in your head if you support Kelly. 9.00 NCIS The team links a petty officer’s murder to a prescription drug ring. 10.00 Law and Order: Special Victims Unit Police investigate the attempted kidnapping of a six-yearold girl. The woman behind the abduction is convinced that the child is her daughter – and DNA evidence appears to support her claim. 11.00 Law and Order Briscoe and Green investigate a star baseball player in connection with a murder. Was the athlete driven to committing the crime by his steroid-dealing chauffeur? Only in America. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.30 Lemur Island 5.10 Everybody Hates Chris 5.35 Neighbours
6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 Olympics 2008: Games Today See highlights. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders The Masoods have a creative way of dealing with Ian’s bribe. Taking it? 8.30 DIY SOS Nick Knowles and the DIY SOS team are in Surrey to re-haul a river barge. Steve lives on the boat but his girlfriend lives two hours away and can’t come and stay as there’s no room for her children. Laziness of relationship sabotage? 9.00 Would I Lie to You? Comedy panel show in which teammates must discern fact from fiction. 9.30 The Armstrong and Miller Show Alexander Armstrong and Ben Miller’s comedy sketch show. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Comedy Connections A look at Ripping Yarns, Michael Palin and Terry Jones’ post-Python parody of pre-war Boys’ Own adventure comics. 11.15 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.20 FILM: The Jackal (1997) Starring Bruce Willis, Richard Gere. Violent action thriller about the FBI’s attempts to catch a deadly spy. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: Rogue Restaurants 1.55 Olympics 2008
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Golf: USPGA Championship 12.00pm IAAF Athletix Weekly 12.30 The Premiership Years 2.30 Golf: USPGA Championship 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 LIVE Football: LG Amsterdam Tournament 8.00 LIVE Football: LG Amsterdam Tournament 10.30 Test Cricket 12.30am Gillette World Sport 1.00 Tight Lines 2.00 The Premiership Years 4.00 Football: LG Amsterdam Tournament
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Race World 7.00 Rugby League 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Race World 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 NFL 4.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 4.30 WWE Raw 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Super League 3.00 NFL – Total Access 4.00 Super League
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky One
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
12.00pm Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Relic Hunter 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x3) 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 FILM: Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) 11.15 Top 50 Celebrity Meltdowns 1.15am Road Wars 2.05 Weeds 2.40 Uncut! Reps in Ibiza
7.00pm Top Gear: Botswana Special 8.00 The Real Hustle Las Vegas 8.30 FILM: Chicken Run (2000) 9.50 Pranks Galore! 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (x2) 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 12.45 Trexx and Flipside (x2) 1.45 Two Pints of Lager (x2)
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 A Seaside Parish 8.00 Classic Britannia 9.00 Legends. See highlights. 10.00 Glastonbury 2008: Joan Armatrading 11.00 Manu Chao at Glastonbury 2008 12.00am The Avengers (x2) 1.40 Legends 2.40 Classic Britannia
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Pushing Daisies 9.00 America’s Got Talent 10.20 Coronation Street (x2) 11.20 Bionic Woman 12.20am The Passions of...Girls Aloud
1.15pm Heartbeat 2.15 Wycliffe 3.25 On the Buses (x2) 4.25 Missing Persons 5.25 Only When I Laugh 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Home to Roost (x2) 7.55 Wycliffe 9.00 FILM: Murder By Decree (1979) 11.30 FILM: Bite The Bullet (1975) 2.00am PD James: Cover Her Face (x2) 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus
11.35am Gilmore Girls 12.30pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 How to Look Good Naked 10.05 Gok’s Fashion Fix 11.05 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.40 Big Brother: Live
1.00pm Deal or No Deal 1.50 ER 2.50 Hill Street Blues 3.50 Time Team 4.50 Relocation, Relocation 5.55 Selling Houses Abroad 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 A Million Pound Place in the Sun 10.00 Secret Life 11.35 Live from Abbey Road 12.40am All You Need is Love 1.45 Third Watch
2.00pm Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will and Grace (x2) 8.00 Nothing to Declare (x2) 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Ghost Whisperer 1.00 Will and Grace (x2) 2.00 Nothing to Declare (x2)
UK TV Gold
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
3.00pm The Two Ronnies 4.00 Doctor Who 5.00 Open all Hours 5.40 My Family 7.00 Last of the Summer Wine 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.05 The Good Life 10.45 A Bit of Fry and Laurie 11.25 The Two Ronnies 12.25am New Adventures of Old Christine
3.00pm Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.15 Coupling 11.55 Kitchen Confidential 12.25am Stacked 12.55 Badly Dubbed Porn
1.00pm The FBI Files 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How it’s Made 7.30 How do They do It? 8.00 Most Evil 9.00 Deranged Killers 10.00 A Haunting 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Unsolved Murders
7.00am Odyssey 5 8.00 Teleshopping 11.00 The Invisible Man 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 FILM: Frozen Impact (2002) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 Star Trek 6.00 Quantum Leap 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Barb Wire (1996) 12.00am Heroes 1.00 FILM: Slayer (2006)
1.10pm Funeral In Berlin (1966) 3.10 Father Goose (1964) 5.15 The Desperate Hours (1955) 7.15 Funeral In Berlin (1966) 9.00 The Guns Of Navarone (1961) 11.40 I’ll Never Forget What’s ‘is Name (1969) 1.30am Requiem For A Heavyweight (1962) 3.05 Curse Of The Werewolf (1961)
12.40pm Whatever Happened To Harold Smith? (1999) 2.20 The Horseman On The Roof (1995) 4.40 Nina’s Heavenly Delights (2006) 6.20 Wilde (1997) 8.20 Whatever Happened To Harold Smith? (1999) 10.00 Isolation (2005) 11.40 Ong-Bak (2004) 1.30am Hard Candy (2006)
1.00pm The Gift Horse (1952) 3.00 Campbell’s Kingdom (1958) 5.00 Destination Moon (1950) 6.50 WarGames (1983) 9.00 The Shawshank Redemption (1994) Beautiful prison drama starring Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman. 11.40 Kung Fu Hustle (2004) 1.43am Quiet City (2007)
9.05am The Power And The Prize (1956) 10.55 Another Thin Man (1939) 1.00pm Silas Marner: The Weaver Of Raveloe (1985) 3.00 Lady L (1965) 4.55 Alfred The Great (1969) 7.05 The Cincinnati Kid (1965) 9.00 Beetlejuice (1988) 10.40 Elvis On Tour (1972) 12.20am Ryan’s Daughter (1970)
Classics
Indie
041_LS384_TV_Sat
7/31/08
5:24 PM
Page 1
saturday 9 Olympic Breakfast BBC1, 6am The rowing kicks off with six British crews in action. The highlight at 10.30am is expected to be the British mens’ four. Britain’s eight boxers are also in action this morning plus the regatta gets under way at Qingdao with focus on the finn class. Get yelling at that telly!
Comics Britannia BBC2, 10pm Armando Lannucci explores the history of British comics. looking at the new characters and strips which emerged in the 1970s and 80s for an older, readership, from Judge Dredd and Tank Girl to Viz and Watchmen. At the forefront was Alan Moore, who talks about his latest graphic novel.
Xtra Factor: One Year On ITV2, 8pm As those very talented ladies of the Spice Girls once sang: ‘Who-o-o-o- do you think you are?‘ well indeed and now is your chance to indulge in a bit of voyeuristic bitchiness as we see if anyone from last year’s musical lottery actually er ‘made it?’ Oh, what talent, what talent indeed.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Olympic Breakfast See highlights. 11.00 Olympics 2008 4.30pm Final Score 5.10 BBC News 5.30 The Games Today
6.00am Fimbles 6.25 Tikkabilla 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Watch My Chops 7.15 Trollz 7.35 Zombie Hotel 8.00 Only in America 8.30 Secret Show 8.45 Secret Show 8.55 Bernard 9.00 Help Teacher is Coming to Stay 10.00 50/50 10.30 The Slammer 10.55 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 11.00 The Story of Tracy Beaker 11.30 Eliot Kid 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 The Sky at Night 12.30 Animal Park 1.00 Racing: Ascot and Haydock Park 4.30 Eisteddfod 5.00 Flog It! 5.30 Coast 6.30 BBC Proms 2008 Charles Hazlewood conducts and presents this live Prom of Classical Jazz with the BBC Concert Orchestra, while fellow presenter Suzy Klein is joined in the studio by choirmaster Gareth Malone. 8.30 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. Eager for promotion Captain Mainwaring instigates a recruitment drive. 9.00 Have I Got News for You Comedy quiz show that grills celebrity contestants on the week’s news. 9.30 Mock the Week Two teams of comedians take a satirical swipe at the news and world events. 10.00 Comics Britannia See highlights 11.00 Comedy Connections Series charting the history of some of our best comedy shows, 11.40 FILM: A Simple Plan (1999) Starring Bill Paxton, Billy Bob Thornton, Bridget Fonda. Hank and Jacob Mitchell and their pal, Lou, find a downed single-engine plane buried in the snowy woods. Inside it is a decaying pilot and a bag carrying $4m. The men decide to hide the money until spring when the snow is melted and the plane is found. But nothing goes as planned... 1.35am Arrested Development Comedy series about a rich dysfunctional family. 2.00 Arrested Development
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Jim Jam and Sunny 9.40 Captain Mack 9.55 Captain Mack 10.10 Supernormal 10.25 Drake and Josh 10.55 Finger Tips 11.15 Coronation Street Omnibus 1.30pm ITV News and Weather 1.40 Meridian News and Weather 1.45 FILM: Chaplin (1992) 4.20 Meridian News and Weather 4.35 ITV News and Weather 4.50 FILM: The Mummy (1999)
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 T-Mobile Transmission 9.25 Je Suis un Rock Star 10.00 Big Brother 11.00 Big Brother 11.30 Friends 12.00pm V Festival 2008: The Line-Up 12.30 Get Smart: T4 Movie Special 1.00 Scrubs 1.30 Scrubs 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 A Place in the Sun 4.35 Supernanny US 5.30 Gok’s Fashion Fix
7.45 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and his Best Friend Corky 8.05 The Save-Ums! 8.20 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.35 The Mr. Men Show 8.50 The Mr. Men Show 9.10 Rupert Bear 9.20 Animal Families 9.30 The Secret of Eel Island 9.50 Mio Mao 10.00 Britain’s Strongest Man 11.00 Warship 12.00pm FILM: The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course (2002) 1.50 FILM: The Cincinnati Kid (1965) 3.45 Superstars 4.45 Five News and Sport 5.00 Football on Five
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 The Premiership Years 9.00 Cricket AM 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 4.30pm LIVE Test Cricket 7.00 LIVE Golf: USPGA Championship 12.00am Football: LG Amsterdam Tournament 2.00 The Premiership Years 4.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.30 Caterham Motor Racing 5.00 Race World
6.30 My Family Some old friends of Susan and Ben are having marriage trouble, and Susan is out to prove that a trouble shared is a very dangerous thing. 7.00 Last Choir Standing The final six choirs battle it out in the first live knockout show. 8.00 The National Lottery: This Time Tomorrow Tess Daly hosts the National Lottery show. 8.50 Casualty Zoe makes an unexpected decision in court, with a tidal wave of consequences. But does it clear Maggie’s name? Toby’s caught in a spin that could see his career left in tatters. 9.40 BBC News National and international news; Weather. 10.00 FILM: The Matador (2005) Starring Pierce Brosnan. Comic crime caper about the unlikely friendship between a travelling salesman and a sleazy, lonely hitman after a chance meeting in Mexico City. 11.35 FILM: Old School (2002) Starring Vince Vaughn, Will Ferrell, Luke Wilson, Juliette Lewis and Jeremy Piven. Riotous campus comedy. A lawyer, having caught his wife cheating on him, sets up home near the local university giving his thirtysomething friends a chance to recapture their college years. 1.00am Weatherview weather . 1.05 Joins BBC News
7.00 Who Dares Sings! Denise Van Outen and Ben Shephard host the ultimate singing game show. 8.00 Foyle’s War August 1942. A biological warfare experiment that goes wrong results in the death of a local woman, while Sam contracts a potentially fatal illness. In pursuit of answers, and with Sam’s life in jeopardy, Foyle ventures into the most secretive areas of the war – research that not even Churchill knows about. 10.00 FILM: Something’s Gotta Give (2003) Starring Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, Keanu Reeves, Frances McDormand, Paul Glaser, Jon Favreau and Rachel Ticotin. Romantic comedy. An ageing music industry executive with a liking for much younger women has a heart attack at the home of his latest consort and is left in the care of her mother. The two develop a potential for true romance, but the recuperating executive faces competition for the woman’s affections from the doctor supervising his recovery. 11.00 ITV News and Weather 11.20 FILM: Something’s Gotta Give (2003) Continues. 12.40am Bingo Night Live 1.45 Nightwatch with Steve Scott: 2.40 FILM: Married To The Mob (1989) Quirky gangster comedy 4.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.00 CITV:
6.30 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.00 The Great Wall of China The story of one of the most ambitious building projects in the history of mankind, the Great Wall of China, told through the eyes of three historical figures – Emperor Muzong, military hero and engineering genius General Qi Jiguang and ordinary soldier Zhou Li. Based on new archaelogical finds, the documentary reveals how the 3,000 mile-long wall was built in the space of two decades by a workforce of nearly 50,000 people, using construction techniques that inspire awe even in the modern era. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights. 10.00 FILM: Save The Last Dance (2001) Starring Julia Stiles. Romantic drama about a teenage ballerina whose comfortable middle-class life is devastated when her mother is killed in a car crash and she has to go and live with her father in a Chicago ghetto. The girl has problems fitting in at her new high school, but strikes up a friendship with a young man whose passion for hip-hop helps rekindle her love of dance. 12.10am 4 Music: Live from Abbey Road Music from Kate Nash and Herbie Hancock. 1.10 Big Brother Live 4.20 St Elsewhere 5.10 Salvage Squad
7.15 Cricket on Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights from the third day of the fourth npower Test match between England and South Africa at the Brit Oval. 8.00 NCIS The team goes on the trail of a missing Navy lieutenant after her bloodied car is found abandoned. 8.55 NCIS A Russian arms dealer is arrested for the murder of a chief petty officer. But the seemingly straightforward case is complicated when the Department of Homeland Security demands that NCIS release the suspect to them. 9.50 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series about a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. While trying to deal with the revelation that Grissom and Sara are an item, the CSIs investigate two bizarre deaths. 10.50 Law and Order: Criminal Intent. A series of murders of homeless people is linked to a women suffering from dementia. 11.50 Women Who Kill Series documenting the harrowing stories of female killers. 12.20am Quiz Call Interactive quiz 4.30 Lemur Island Wildlife series following the lives of ring-tailed lemurs in Madagascar. 5.10 Everybody Hates Chris Sitcom based on the early life in Brooklyn of comedian Chris Rock. 5.35 Everybody Hates Chris
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Gillette World Sport 6.30 LIVE Rugby Union 8.30 LIVE Rugby Union 10.30 Max Power 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 LIVE Football League: Championship 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.30 LIVE Football: LG Amsterdam Tournament 8.00 LIVE Football: LG Amsterdam Tournament 10.30 Football League: Championship 12.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 Super League 2.30 Football League: Championship 4.00 Max Power 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Football: LG Amsterdam Tournament 9.00 WWE Smackdown 11.00 WWE The Bottom Line 12.00pm NFL: Total Access 1.00 Gillette World Sport 1.30 Live International Rugby 4.00 LIVE Golf: USPGA Championship 7.00 LIVE Super League 9.00 Test Cricket 11.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.00am WWE Late Night Smackdown 2.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 3.00 Test Cricket 5.00 Sports Unlimited
Alison Swann
extraterrestrial Sky One
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
1.00pm Don’t Forget the Lyrics (x3) 4.00 Malcolm in the Middle (x6) 7.00 Gladiators: Quarter Finals 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 Road Wars (x2) 11.00 Street Wars 12.00am Inside: Alaska’s Toughest Prison 1.00 Road Wars 1.50 The Villa 2.40 Mile High 3.30 Caribbean Uncovered 4.20 Road Wars
7.00pm Greek 7.45 Top Gear 8.50 FILM: Chicken Run (2000) 10.10 Family Guy (x2) 10.55 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (x2) 11.55 Britain’s Missing Top Model: What Happened Next 12.55am When Beauty Goes Wrong 1.55 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor
7.00pm Spy Stories: Time Shift 8.00 Sleepers 9.30 Return to Lonesome Dove (x2) 12.30am The Worlds of Fantasy (x3) 3.30 Spy Stories: Time Shift 4.30 Close
4.40pm Kids do the Funniest Things 5.40 America’s Got Talent 7.00 New Homes from Hell 2008 8.00 Xtra Factor: One Year On 9.00 FILM: Throw Momma From The Train (1987) 10.50 The Hoosiers: The Hot Desk 11.00 FILM: The Sixth Sense (1999) 1.10am Xtra Factor: One Year On
1.20pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.30 Kavanagh QC 5.15 Inspector Morse 7.20 Cadfael 9.00 Drama Trails: Secret Diary of a Call Girl to London’s Burning 10.00 PD James: Devices and Desires 11.05 FILM: Gorillas In The Mist (1988) 1.40am Kavanagh QC 3.25 The Wonder Years 3.50 Film File 4.00 Teleshopping
8.00am Dark Angel 8.55 Roswell 9.45 Kevin Hill 10.35 Dark Angel 11.30 Roswell 12.20pm Big Brother: Live 1.55 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.25 Friends (x3) 5.55 Big Brother (x2) 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 FILM: I, Robot (2004) 11.10 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 12.15am Big Brother: Live
9.00am A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 10.00 Time Team (x4) 2.10 FILM: Chariots Of Fire (1981) 4.35 Grand Designs (x5) 10.00 Mark of Cain 11.50 The West Wing 12.50am Mark of Cain 2.35 Grand Designs 3.40 Close
2.55pm The Fix 3.00 The Jerry Springer Show (x8) 7.00 Make Me a Supermodel US 8.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 9.00 Ibiza 2008 10.00 Hotel Babylon 11.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.05am Charmed 1.00 Kath and Kim (x2) 2.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 3.00 Close to Home
UK TV Gold
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
5.40pm The Two Ronnies Sketchbook (x2) 7.00 Victoria Wood as Seen on TV 7.40 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook (x2) 9.00 Little Britain 9.40 The Catherine Tate Show 10.20 A Bit of Fry and Laurie 11.00 French and Saunders 11.40 Little Britain 12.20am The Catherine Tate Show 1.00 A Bit of Fry and Laurie
3.00pm Frasier (x2) 4.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Frasier (x2) 6.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 7.00 Last Comic Standing 9.00 Scrubs 9.30 Everybody Hates Chris 10.00 Dara O’Briain Live at the Theatre Royal 11.50 Lee Evans: The Ultimate Experience 1.35am Shortcuts Shuffle (x2)
6.00pm Mega Builders 7.00 How do They do It? (x2) 8.00 How Stuff’s Made (x2) 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Crime Museum UK with Martin Kemp (x2) 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 Crimes that Shook the World 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Time Team
6.00am FILM: Landslide (2004) 8.00 Teleshopping 11.00 Thunderbirds (x8) 7.40 FILM: Cocoon (1985) 10.00 FILM: Stephen King’s Firestarter (1984) 12.10am FILM: Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers (1992) 1.50 FILM: Meltdown: Days Of Destruction (2006) 4.00 FILM: The Great Los Angeles Earthquake (1990)
2.50pm A Foreign Affair (1948) 4.50 The Greatest Show On Earth (1952) 7.25 Flaming Star (1960) 9.00 Barefoot In The Park (1967) 10.50 The Greatest Show On Earth (1952) 1.30am The Palm Beach Story (1942) 3.10 The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner (1962)
10.30am Cyrano De Bergerac (1990) 12.55pm Love Me If You Dare (2003) 2.35 Indie Close-Up 3.05 Rushmore (1998) 4.40 Syriana (2005) 6.50 The Page Turner (2006) 8.20 Adrift (2006) 10.00 London To Brighton (2006) 11.30 Rushmore (1998) 1.10am Dad Savage (1998)
1.00pm WarGames (1983) 3.20 The Cat Returns (2002) 4.50 Siege At Red River (1954) 6.30 Del Toro On Hellboy II 6.40 Around The World In 80 Days (2004) 9.00 Braveheart (1995) 12.15am The Puffy Chair (2005) 1.50 Dance Party, USA (2006) 3.15 Close
1.00pm Bachelor In Paradise (1961) 3.00 In The Good Old Summertime (1949) 5.15 The Ice Pirates (1984) 7.00 Two Weeks In Another Town (1962) 9.00 The Exorcist (1973) 11.15 Brewster McCloud (1970) 1.10am The Strawberry Statement (1970) 3.05 Mr Ricco (1975) 5.00 Postman’s Knock (1962)
Classics
Indie
042_LS384_TV_ Sun
7/31/08
5:28 PM
Page 1
sunday 10 The John Akii-Bua Story: An African Tragedy BBC2, 10.30pm Documentary about athlete John Akii-Bua, who won gold at the Munich Olympics of 1972. He returned to Uganda to find it under the iron fist of ‘President’ Idi Amin. Shortly afterwards, AkiiBua presented his former coach with 12 notebooks containing his life story.
Make Me a Christian Channel 4, 7pm Three-part series following a group of volunteers from the Leeds area as they give up their normal lives and attempt to live as devout Christians for three weeks. The diverse bunch include a middle-class family, a shopaholic, an atheist, a lesbian, a young Catholic and a Muslim schoolteacher.
Those were the Days: 89 Berlin Wall Comes Down ITV3, 8pm Documentary series about the real-life stories behind the headlines in recent history. This time it’s November 9, 1989, the day the Berlin Wall came down. A blind, young, East German boy tried to cross back into East Germany for an emotional reunion with his old friends.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Olympic Breakfast 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm BBC News 12.05 Diagnosis Murder 1.30 EastEnders 3.55 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 4.25 Keeping Up Appearances 4.55 Songs of Praise 5.30 Last of the Summer Wine
6.00am Fimbles 6.25 Tikkabilla 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Legend of the Dragon 7.20 Watch My Chops 7.35 The Batman 8.00 Best of Friends 8.30 Raven: The Secret Temple 9.00 SMart 10.00 Animal Park 11.00 Olympics: Beijing 2008 5.30pm An Otter in the Family
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Championship 10.25 Captain Mack 10.40 Horrid Henry 10.55 Finger Tips 11.15 Art Attack 11.40 Drake and Josh 12.10pm Tricky Quickies 12.15 Planet’s Funniest Animals 12.45 ITV News and Weather 12.55 Meridian News and Weather 1.00 FILM: Tobruk (1966) 2.55 FILM: Carry On Cruising (1962) 4.25 The Unforgettable... Sid James 5.00 Meridian News and Weather 5.15 ITV News and Weather 5.30 Country Lives
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Trans World Sport 7.55 The British Formula 3 International Series 8.25 British Triathlon Grand Prix 8.55 The Mummy 3: T4 Movie Special 9.20 Hollyoaks Omnibus 11.50 Big Brother’s Little Brother 12.55pm Friends 1.25 Vodafone TBA Live: The Streets 2.00 Friends 2.35 Vodafone TBA Live: McFly 3.05 Vodafone TBA Live: NERD 3.45 The Simpsons 4.15 The Simpsons 4.45 Scrapheap Challenge 5.45 Scrapheap Challenge
6.00am Football League: Championship 7.30 Football: LG Amsterdam Tournament 9.30 Sunday Supplement 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 4.30pm LIVE Test Cricket 7.00 LIVE Golf: USPGA Championship 12.00am Test Cricket 2.00 Football League: Championship 3.30 Where are they Now? 4.00 Test Cricket
6.00 Community Shield Highlights 7.00 Heartbeat A man is killed in a car accident, and the police discover he had a chequered past. 8.00 Midsomer Murders Midsomer Barton is celebrating Oak Apple Week when a mother is found drowned. It looks like suicide – that she was driven to by grief over her dead daughter. Barnaby investigates and is shaken by two villagers who look like murder victims from his past. Then another body is discovered and it appears that the festivities have stirred up a cocktail of adultery, contempt, unrequited love and revenge in the village. 10.00 ITV News and Weather 10.15 TV’s Naughtiest Blunders Neil Morrissey introduces more Xrated outtakes featuring some of the nation’s best-loved celebrities. 11.15 A Match Made in Heaven Documentary series that goes behind the scenes in three of the most popular religious dating agencies. 11.45 Vicars’ Wives Series following the busy lives of three clergy wives from the South Coast. 12.15am Quincy, ME 1.05 60 Minute Makeover 1.55 Vanessa’s Real Lives 2.45 Moving Day 3.10 Moving Day 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.45 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.00 Make Me a Christian See highlights 8.00 Celebrity Wife Swap Food and wine critic Jilly Goolden exchanges lives with the wife of soul singer Alexander O’Neal. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights 10.00 Kill it, Skin it, Wear it Chef and fur lover Merrilees Parker investigates the truth behind the revival in the global fur industry, which is now worth around 7 billions pounds a year. Parker gains unprecedented access to a Danish fur farm, goes fur trapping in Idaho and sees horrendous images of animal suffering, and asks whether it is possible to source fur ethically. 11.05 The Charlotte Church Show With shy and retiring Jimmy Carr. 11.55 Back to You Sitcom starring sitcom veterans Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton as a pair of bickering news anchors. 12.25am Coming Up: Brussels Short film about a young ticket-tout. 12.55 Big Brother Live 4.40 The London Red Bull Air Race 2008 Highlights from the fifth round of the Red Bull Air Race headquarters at the airfield, while Dougie Anderson chats to celebrities and fans along the length of the course, situated on the River Thames.
7.00 Little Princess 7.15 Hana’s Helpline 7.25 Franny’s Feet 7.40 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 7.55 The Save-Ums! 8.05 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.25 The Mr. Men Show 8.40 The Mr. Men Show 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.10 Animal Families 9.30 George Shrinks 10.00 The Gadget Show 11.00 Monster Moves 12.00pm Big, Bigger, Biggest 1.00 Fifth Gear Short Cuts 1.10 FILM: Dying To Belong (1997) 3.00 FILM: Multiplicity (1996) 5.05 FILM: The Princess Bride (1987) 7.00 Five News and Sport 7.15 Cricket on Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights from the fourth day of the fourth npower Test match between England and South Africa at the Brit Oval. 8.00 FILM: You’ve Got Mail (1998) Starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan. Comic tale of romance on the internet. The manager of a humble children’s bookshop and the owner of a discount book chain meet in an internet chat room and correspond by email, unaware that they are actually business rivals. 10.20 FILM: The Juror (1996) Starring Demi Moore, Alec Baldwin, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Anne Heche, James Gandolfini and Lindsay Crouse. Psychological thriller about a young woman who is coerced into encouraging her fellow jury members to acquit a powerful mobster. The single mother then finds herself in a moral quandary when a shady thug threatens to harm her child if his boss is not released. She must decide whether to betray her legal and moral responsibilities – or place her family in danger. 12.35am Major League Baseball Major League baseball action from the USA. 4.20 Ironman Australia 5.35 Everybody Hates Chris
6.00 Last Choir Standing Results Myleene Klass and Nick Knowles host the search for Britain’s best choir. The final six choirs discover their fate as the result of the public phone vote is revealed. 6.30 BBC News National and international news; Weather. 7.00 The Games Today Gabby Logan looks back on day two of the 2008 Olympics from her viewpoint overlooking the Bird’s Nest Stadium. 8.00 Jimmy and the Wild Honey Hunters 9.00 Britain from Above 10.00 BBC News National and international news; Weather. 10.20 FILM: Crimson Tide (1995) Starring Denzel Washington, Gene Hackman, Matt Craven, George Dzundza, Viggo Mortensen and James Gandolfini. Undersea suspense drama following the power struggle between a commander and his executive officer on board a nuclear submarine. The by-the-book captain finds himself at odds with his second-in-command when they are put on alert after a volatile Russian nationalist seizes control of a nuclear missile base and the US stands at the brink of war. 12.10am Weatherview Detailed weather forecast. 12.15 Joins BBC News 2.50 Olympics 2008
6.00 Earth: The Power of the Planet Documentary series. Dr Iain Stewart reveals the crucial natural forces that have shaped the earth’s development. A flight in a jet plane, a trip to the Andes and a trip to Shark Bay in Australia are expensive but necessary to discuss atmosphere. Without atmosphere, humans couldn’t live; we are, in Iain’s words, but lobsters scuttling around in an ocean of air. 7.00 Dragons’ Den Michael Cotton has a device to prevent motorists filling up their diesel cars with petrol; and some gut-wrenching toys based on roadkill animals! 8.00 Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson road tests two insanely powerful estate cars. The two stars in the ‘reasonably priced car’ are James Blunt and Jennifer Saunders. 9.00 Long Way Round 10.00 Britain from Above Revealing the transformation of Britain’s most important city: her capital, London. 10.30 The John Akii-Bua Story: An African Tragedy See highlights 12.00am FILM: Day Of The Dead (1985) Zombies threaten the future of humankind in the conclusion of George A Romero’s gruesome trilogy. 1.40 Lost Land of the Jaguar . 2.40 Holby City. 3.40 Celebrity MasterChef 4.40 Joins BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Gillette World Sport 7.00 The Premiership Years 9.00 Where are they Now? 9.30 Sailing: Med Cup 10.00 Surfing: Margaret River Pro 10.30 Goals on Sunday 12.00pm Sunday Supplement 1.00 LIVE Football League: Championship 3.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.00 LIVE Golf: USPGA Championship 7.00 Football League: Championship 8.30 Test Cricket 10.30 Football League: Championship 12.00am The Premiership Years 2.00 Sailing: Med Cup 2.30 Surfing: Margaret River Pro 3.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Rugby Union 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Sailing: Med Cup 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Golf: USPGA Championship 3.00 Polo 4.00 WWE Experience 5.00 IndyCar Series 7.00 LIVE NASCAR 10.30 WWE Afterburn 11.30 WWE Vintage Collection 12.30am America’s Game 1.30 NASCAR 4.00 Close
Alison Swann
extraterrestrial Sky One
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
1.00pm Futurama (x20 2.00 Championship Gaming Series 3.00 The Dog Whisperer 4.00 Futurama (x3) 5.30 The Simpsons (x3) 7.00 Gladiators: SemiFinals 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 FILM: Trading Places (1983) 11.15 Gladiators: Semi-Finals 12.15am Road Wars 1.15 Road Wars 1.40 The Villa
7.00pm The Real Hustle Las Vegas 7.30 FILM: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) 9.00 Spooks: Code 9 (x2) 10.40 Family Guy (x2) 11.25 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 11.55 I’m Kylie’s Body Double 12.55am Spooks: Code 9 (x2) 2.30 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 3.00 I’m Kylie’s Body Double 4.00 The Real Hustle Las Vegas
7.00pm Coal House 7.30 Proms on Four 2008: King’s Singers – 40th Anniversary 9.00 The Frost Report is Back! 11.00 Legends: Marty Feldman – Six Degrees of Separation 12.00am Glastonbury 2008: Joan Armatrading 1.00 Born to be Wild 1.30 Legends: Marty Feldman – Six Degrees of Separation
2.15pm The World’s Got Talent 3.15 Xtra Factor: One Year On 4.15 Coronation Street Omnibus 6.40 America’s Got Talent 8.00 Xtra Factor: One Year On 9.00 FILM: The Sixth Sense (1999) 11.10 FILM: Sliver (1993) 1.10am Secret Diary of a Call Girl 1.35 Secret Diary of a Call Girl 2.00 Teleshopping
12.15pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.25 Inspector Morse 4.35 FILM: The Wedding (1997) 7.00 Dempsey and Makepeace 8.00 Those Were the Days: 89 Berlin Wall Comes Down 9.00 FILM: Gorillas In The Mist (1988) 11.35 PD James: Death of an Expert Witness (x2) 1.40 Bramwell 3.30 Film File
2.05pm Big Brother: Live 3.50 Friends (x3) 5.25 Big Brother 6.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.25 Friends (x3) 9.00 Celebrity Wife Swap: The Aftermath 9.30 How to Look Good Naked 10.00 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 11.00 Shameless 12.05am Big Brother: Live
4.35pm Come Dine with Me (x5) 7.25 Jamie at Home 7.55 Willie’s Wonky Chocolate Factory 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 10.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 11.05 Father Ted (x2) 12.15am Brass Eye Special 12.45 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 1.45 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word
1.55pm Maury (x4) 5.30 The Jerry Springer Show 6.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 7.00 Exposed: Britney Spears 8.00 Diet on the Dancefloor 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Charmed 1.00 Kath and Kim (x2) 2.00 Criminal Minds
UK TV Gold
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
6.05pm The Two Ronnies Sketchbook 6.45 Victoria Wood as Seen on TV 7.40 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook (x2) 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.20 FILM: Six Days, Seven Nights (1998) 12.15am Jonathan Creek 1.35 Doctor Who (x3) 4.00 The Blue Planet 4.45 Dallas 5.35 Neighbours
9.00am Frasier (x24) 9.00pm Scrubs 9.30 Everybody Hates Chris 10.00 Lee Evans Live in Scotland 11.30 Last Comic Standing 1.30am Frasier (x7) 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life in Film (x2) 5.10 Frasier (x2)
6.00pm How Stuff’s Made (x2) 7.00 The Elite Forces 8.00 Survivorman 9.00 Real ER: The Bronx 10.00 Deranged Killers 11.00 A Haunting 12.00am Crime Scene USA: North Mission Road 12.30 Crime Scene USA: Suburban Secrets 1.00 Crimes that Shook the World 2.00 Forensic Detectives
8.00 Teleshopping 11.00 Thunderbirds (x8) 8.00 Who Wants to be a Superhero? (x2) 10.00 FILM: Lightspeed (2006) 11.40 FILM: John Carpenter’s Ghosts Of Mars (2001) 1.30am Who Wants to be a Superhero? 2.30 Ghost Stories 3.00 Stephen King’s Desperation 4.00 FILM: Hercules And The Circle Of Fire (1994)
9.20am The Grapes Of Wrath (1940) 11.35 West Side Story (1961) 2.10pm Panic In The Streets (1950) 3.50 Twelve O’Clock High (1949) 6.05 The Bible (1966) 9.00 The Grapes Of Wrath (1940) 11.10 Cape Fear (1962) 1.00am Panic In The Streets (1950) 2.40 Twelve O’Clock High (1949)
4.30pm Al Gore Meets Clive Anderson 5.10 An Inconvenient Truth (2006) 6.50 When We Were Kings (1996) 8.30 Trekkies 10.00 Going To Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film () 11.40 Z Channel: A Magnificent Obsession (2004)
1.00pm Around The World In 80 Days (2004) 3.30 The Nutcracker (1993) 5.15 Rio Grande (1950) 7.20 Carry On Up The Khyber (1968) 9.00 Little Nicky (2000) 10.35 Shaft (2000) 12.25am Mutual Appreciation (2005) 2.45 Close
11.00am Waterloo Bridge (1940) 1.00pm Ada (1961) 3.00 An American In Paris (1951) 5.05 Made In Paris (1966) 7.00 Travels With My Aunt (1972) 9.00 Ordinary People (1980) 11.20 Victor/Victoria (1982) 2.10am The Appointment (1969) 4.05 All About Bette 5.00 Father’s Little Dividend (1951)
Classics
Indie
043_LS384_Mon_TV
8/1/08
10:57 AM
Page 1
monday 11 New Tricks BBC1, 9pm Surpringly good and well written. This week the team investigate the art of illusion when they reopen a case involving a magic trick that ended in murder. But powerful mind games and hypnosis prove a dangerous mix for Brian Lane, sending him down a destructive path.
Kevin Mccloud and the Big Town Plan Channel 4, 9pm Kevin McCloud follows a community-led regeneration scheme in the former mining town of Castleford in Yorkshire. Over the course of five years, local residents and agencies work with leading architects and designers to improve the area.
Creating Life on Mars BBC4, 11pm In conversation with writer and broadcaster Andrew Collins, the creator of the time-travel cop show. The story behind the series, including their seven-year battle to bring it to the screen and how they drew inspiration from their own experiences of life in the 70s and breaking the mould of TV drama.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Olympic Breakfast 9.00 Olympics 2008 12.00pm BBC News 12.30 South East Today; Weather 12.45 Olympics 2008 5.15 The Weakest Link
8.00 Watch My Chops 8.10 Dennis The Menace 8.35 Freefonix 9.00 Raven 9.25 MySay 9.30 The Revenge Files Of Alistair Fury 10.00 Get 100 10.30 Cash In The Attic 11.15 Bargain Hunt 12.00pm Olympic Swimming: Beijing 2008 12.45 Double Agents 1.15 Diagnosis Murder 2.00 Murder, She Wrote 2.45 Flog It! 3.15 Finley The Fire Engine 3.25 Time Warp Trio 3.50 Skunk Fu 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Roar 4.35 Grange Hill 5.00 Newsround 5.15 Olympic Basketball: Beijing 2008
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm 60 Minute Makeover 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Inspector Morse 5.00 Goldenballs
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 11.00 Beauty And The Geek 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Will And Grace 1.00 Desperate Housewives 1.50 Desperate Housewives 2.45 Countdown 3.30 A Place By The Sea 4.30 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Richard And Judy
6.55 The Milkshake! Show 7.18 Sailor Sid 7.20 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Roary The Racing Car 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Mio Mao 8.05 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.50 Roobarb And Custard Too 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Vets In Action 12.30pm Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Medical Investigation 3.15 FILM: Robinson Crusoe (1996) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football League: Championship 10.30 LIVE Test Cricket 4.30pm LIVE Test Cricket 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.30 LIVE Speedway 9.30 Big League Weekend 11.00 The Premiership Years 1.00am Big League Weekend 2.30 Test Cricket 4.30 Big League Weekend
6.00 Battle Of The Brains Quiz show hosted by Paddy O’Connell. 6.30 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz 7.00 Return To… Cruise 7.30 Return To… Cruise 8.00 University Challenge Students representing the University of Exeter play Pembroke College Oxford. 8.30 Chinese Food Made Easy See highlights. 9.00 Dragons’ Den. Brian James aims to do for men’s underpants what the push-up has done for women’s bras, while rookie racing driver Robert Hall thinks he has what it takes to be the next Lewis Hamilton – and he has an unusual business proposition for the Dragons. 10.00 Would I Lie To You? Comedy panel show hosted by Angus Deayton, with team captains David Mitchell and Lee Mack. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Ian Rankin’s Hidden Edinburgh The crime author Ian Rankin looks around the less wellknown parts of Edinburgh. 12.20am Ellery Queen Author and amateur detective Ellery Queen attempts to solve the murder of a newspaper publisher found dead. 1.10 Making The Olympic Dream. 1.55 House Of Saddam 2.55 Dr Alice 3.25 Dr Alice 3.55 Joins BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight Local news, sport and weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News and Weather National and international news stories; weather forecast. 7.00 Emmerdale Pollard plays his workforce off against each other. But who is looking after the sheep? 7.30 Coronation Street Ken’s book causes chaos at the Barlows. Watch out, Dierdre will be back on those fags before the ink’s dry on the page. 8.00 Death Race 2008: Tonight Quentin Willson reports on the latest road safety concerns. 8.30 Coronation Street Ken and Deirdre’s relationship is at crisis point again? Just give it up, that dead horse has been flogged to buggery. 9.00 Superhuman: World’s Smallest People Including the stories of Britain’s smallest man, who has a normal-sized family and a regular job. 10.00 News At Ten and Weather Latest news and weather.. 10.40 FILM: Unleashed (2005) Starring Jet Li, Morgan Freeman, Bob Hoskins. Martial arts action. 12.35am Heist 1.20 Nightwatch With Steve Scott. 2.10 Nightwatch With Steve Scott. 3.05 Moving Day. 3.30 Moving Day. 3.55 ITV Nightscreen. 5.30 ITV Early Morning News.
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Dead man walking. 7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.55 Bright New Wonders A showcase of 15 new presenting voices as part of Channel 4’s Generation Next season. 8.00 The Genius Of Charles Darwin Richard Dawkins presents a guide to Charles Darwin and his revolutionary theory of natural selection, which Dawkins considers the most important idea ever to occur to a human mind. 9.00 Kevin McCloud And The Big Town Plan See highlights. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights. 11.05 Tonightly Comedy entertainment show presented by Jason Manford. 11.40 Coming Up Short film. A resentful daughter celebrates turning 30 by getting kidnappers to abduct her mother, whose ‘crime’ is making more of her life than her child. 12.15am The Shooting Party Series following nine aspiring disabled film directors, from the early stages of pitching their ideas to a judging panel, through the filming process, to a final screening at BAFTA. 12.45 4 Music: Classic V performances from previous years. 12.50 Big Brother Live. 4.20 St Elsewhere. 5.10 Richard And Judy.
6.00 BBC News National and international news; weather. 6.30 South East Today; Weather Local news and weather. 7.00 The Games Today Gabby Logan looks back at the key events and stories of day three. 7.57 BBC News And Regional News National and regional news. 8.00 EastEnders 8.30 Panorama Current affairs programme presented by Jeremy Vine. 9.00 New Tricks See highlights. 10.00 BBC News National and international news. 10.25 South East Today; Weather Local news, sport and weather. 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 River Police Series following the work of the Thames River Police. 11.05 FILM: The Last Shot (2004) Starring Matthew Broderick, Alec Baldwin, Toni Collette. Inspired by a true story, about an FBI agent who poses as a Hollywood producer in a complex sting operation aimed at collaring an infamous mob boss. When the agent puts together a film production with an unwitting director, the operation takes a back seat. 12.35am Weatherview Detailed weather forecast. 12.40 Joins BBC News. 1.20 Olympics 2008.
6.00 Michaela’s Zoo Babies At South Lakes Wild Animal Park in Cumbria, Ntombi the white rhino is pregnant; a keeper stands in as mum for a rare Indonesian piglet; and there is good news about the future of the reindeer herd. Awwwwwww! 7.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky National and international news anchored by Natasha Kaplinsky. 7.15 Cricket On Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights from the fifth day of the fourth npower Test match. 8.00 Fifth Gear Motoring magazine show. Brrrm brrrm! 9.00 Greatest 80s TV Moments Joan Collins presents the 50 most memorable moments of the 80s. 11.05 FILM: An Innocent Man (1989) Starring Tom Selleck. A mechanic accused of a crime he didn’t commit is sent to serve time with a gang of hardened criminals. By befriending a tough but influential inmate he gets parole, but finds himself hounded by the bent cops that framed him. 1.10am Disorderly Conduct US documentary series featuring footage of real-life car crashes, drug busts, high-speed pursuits and more. 2.10 NASCAR. Motor racing. 3.00 Golf. 3.25 Boxing: Fight Of The Week. 4.20 ITU Triathlon. 5.10 Everybody Hates Chris. 5.35 Neighbours.
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Golf: USPGA Championship 11.00 Sailing: Med Cup 11.30 Football League: Championship 1.00pm Golf: USPGA Championship 4.00 Football League: Championship 5.30 Sailing: Med Cup 6.00 Wild Spirits 6.30 British Carp Angling Championships 7.30 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 8.30 Test Cricket 10.30 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 11.30 Test Cricket 1.30am Speedway 3.30 World Motor Sport
Sky Sports 3 8.00am Polo 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm The Premiership Years 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 NASCAR 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Kiteboard Pro World Tour 7.30 World Motor Sport 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 Live WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Kiteboard Pro World Tour 4.45 Close
Alison Swann
extraterrestrial Sky One
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
2.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Gladiators: Semi-Finals 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x5) 9.00 Premier League Years 11.00 Inside: Prison Tactical 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Weeds 2.25 Uncut! Reps In Ibiza 3.20 Brainiac: Science Abuse 4.15 Relic Hunter
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The Real Hustle Las Vegas (x2) 9.00 Jamelia: Whose Hair Is It Anyway? 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Spooks: Code 9 (x2) 12.05am Jamelia: Whose Hair Is It Anyway? 1.05 The Real Hustle Las Vegas (x2)
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Proms On Four 2008: World Music Celebration 9.00 Real Life On Mars 10.00 Life On Mars 11.00 Creating Life On Mars. See highlights 11.20 Mark Lawson Talks To GF Newman 12.20am Travellers’ Century 1.20 Proms On Four 2008: World Music Celebration
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 9.00 FILM: Wayne’s World 2 (1993) 11.00 Coronation Street (x2) 12.00am FILM: Nine Months (1995)
3.45pm Those Were The Days: 89 Berlin Wall Comes Down 4.50 P D James: Black Tower 5.55 Heartbeat 7.00 Home To Roost (x2) 8.00 Rising Damp (x2) 9.00 P D James: Black Tower 10.00 Numb3rs 11.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 12.05am Home To Roost (x2) 1.00 Maigret
11.35am Gilmore Girls 12.30pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 FILM: I, Robot (2004) 12.10am Big Brother: Live
1.00pm Deal Or No Deal 1.50 ER 2.50 Hill Street Blues 3.50 Time Team 4.50 Relocation, Relocation 5.55 Selling Houses Abroad 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Longford 10.50 Without A Trace 11.50 Third Watch 12.50am Longford
2.00pm Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 9.00 Make Me A Supermodel US 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Ghost Whisperer 1.00 Will And Grace (x2)
UK TV Gold
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
6.20pm The Good Life 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 10.05 The Good Life 10.45 A Bit Of Fry And Laurie 11.25 The Two Ronnies 12.20am New Adventures Of Old Christine 12.50 Baywatch 1.40 A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x4) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Grumpy Old Women 11.50 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.50am Badly Dubbed Porn (x2) 1.50 Sexy Cam
6.00pm American Chopper 7.00 How It’s Made 7.30 How Do They Do It? 8.00 American Chopper (x2) 10.00 Hot Rod Apprentice: Hard Shine 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Unsolved Murders 12.30 Crime Scene USA: Body Of Evidence 1.00 Most Evil 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 American Chopper
12.00pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Hercules And The Circle Of Fire (1994) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.00 Quantum Leap 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Total Recall (1990) 12.10am Heroes (x2) 2.10 The Making Of Tin Man
1.55pm Robinson Crusoe On Mars (1964) 3.50 The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 5.45 Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969) 7.20 The Far Country (1955) 9.00 Cool Hand Luke (1967) 11.15 The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 1.15am Robinson Crusoe On Mars (1964) 3.10 Topaz (1969)
1.25pm Wilde (1997) 3.25 Offside (2006) 5.05 David Duchovny Q&A 5.35 Seven Swords (2005) 8.10 The Escapist (2001) 10.00 The Curse Of The Golden Flower (2006) 12.00am The Road To Wellville (1994) 2.05 This Year’s Love (1998) 4.00 Sci-Fi & Horror CloseUp 4.30 Indie Close-Up
1.00pm Moulin Rouge (1952) 3.15 The Kidnappers (1953) 5.05 From Hell To Texas (1958) 7.00 Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow (2004) 9.00 Million Dollar Baby (2004) 11.30 Silent Light (2007) 2.05am LOL (2006) 3.55 Close
11.15amThe Sisters (1938) 1.00pm Martin Chuzzlewit 3.00 The Biggest Bundle Of Them All (1968) 4.55 Zigzag (1970) 6.55 Knights Of The Round Table (1953) 9.00 The Dirty Dozen (1967) 11.45 The Champ (1979) 2.00am The Night Of The Iguana (1964) 4.05 Ride Him Cowboy (1932)
Classics
Indie