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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
★ jobs ★ cars ★ news ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 26 August – 1 September 2008
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china town brighton’s vibrant chinese culture
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china in your hands carol decker on learning to love the eighties
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Contents
Welcome
★ latest jobs 4
By the time this comes out half of Brighton’s music lovers will probably be recovering from one of the best music festivals the city has ever seen and the other half will be wondering if they should have bought a ticket. Beachdown rolls right through to Tuesday morning so, if you're an employer, be gentle on your staff. We'll have full reports next week. In the meantime, if the festival has revived your love of Brighton, in this issue the Cheeky Boys have produced a guide to things to do here before you die (p10). Alison has been reminiscing about her childhood memories of visiting the town with her grandad in the 1970s – only to find she and her brother were left to their own devices on the beach as grandad had other plans (p7) involving a bit of a flutter. Tuk tuks are back in town – and this time in a super-deluxe limo edition that you can hire to take you and your friends to all the best parties in quirky and original style. See our cover feature on page 17. There are changes afoot at Brighton Marina and some residents are worried about the prospect of building big towers, but city council leader Mary Mears wants to stress that nothing has yet been set in stone. Find out how to have your say on the plans in an article written by Cllr Mears on page 12. In our sports column (p14) Joe Curtin bravely steps into the Mixed Martial Arts world to find out more about the fastest growing sport in the world and the Brighton man behind its growth. On the subject of bravery, which of our columnists would look best in a fluorescent green tutu that would make Cyndi Lauper proud? See which one dared on page 30. Talking of the 80s, there's going to be a nostalgic gig in Eastbourne next month with acts such as Sonia and Curiosity Killed The Cat. See page 29 for Nick Aldwinckle’s interview with Carol Decker from T’Pau. Dani has turned her attentions to X-Factor in the TV section, and finds she can’t help but love and loathe it (p36). Our personalised TV pages (p36-43) can help you choose – after all, EastEnders is far more fun with Victoria Nangle’s sarcastic commentary. In the film section, hear Terence Stamp’s thoughts on his new comic movie Get Smart (p27) or turn to Andrew Kay’s stage page for news about the live version of Calendar Girls at Chichester Festival Theatre in September (p25). On his food pages, Andrew has been tackling frogs legs in Partridge Green (p19) and trying one of Brighton's best new cafes (p22). You can read past food reviews at www.thelatest.co.uk In the health column, Zara Baker investigates the benefits of yoga (p16) and from page 18 we have Wave magazine, your monthly green and ethical lifestyle magazine.
4 New jobs and business advice with Dean Wilson Liang Solicitors
★ latest upfront 6–10 6 There’s Marionetas and murder in mind in Tim’s social diary this week
6 Win X-Men and Incredible Hulk prizes! 7 Alison gets a sense of déjà vu 8 Dani’s diary: Dani’s sister speaks out for the younger generation
9 Will Young pops in
★ latest listings 23–43 23 Reviews and listings index We laughed, we cried: Here’s the lowdown of recent shows
24 Comedy Victoria makes eye contact for establishing a lasting relationship
09
24 Art Tectonic Traces at Phoenix Gallery
25 Stage Make a date for Calendar Girls
26 Film Terence Stamp talks Get Smart
28 Kids and events
10 Bare cheek: Things to do in Brighton
Fashion and dancing in the city streets
and what’s not on at a cinema near you
★ latest news 11–14
28 Books
11 Pegg speaks to the Chinese community
29 Music
living here in Brighton
13 Phil Mills: on haunted theatres 14 Letters and sport: Brighton of old and mixed martial arts in sport
An in-depth read: Steve Walter’s Fast Train Approaching Carol Decker on why ‘China In Your Hand’ is back, plus gigs and listings Brighton Latest Download Chart
TOP
40
★ latest lifestyle 16–22
33 Clubs and music listings
16 Model city: The price of modelling
34 Gay
16 Health: Yoga classes for all 17 Cover story: Travel in style for that special occasion with Tuk Tuk Limos
19 Food: Andrew goes for green 20 Hot list: The best cafés and
17
Don’t miss Biffy Clyro’s in-store gig! Wild Fruit goes bananas over missing fruit, gay team win gold and Will’s seeing if the eyes have it
36 Television Will there be competition between The X-Factor judges? Plus movies on the box and complete listings
restaurants around the city
25
22 AK Lite: Top tapas at Moksha café
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Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith
Editor Rachel Pegg
Business Director Angi Mariani
Assistant Editor Zara Baker
Creative Director Andrew Kay
Website Manager Paul Burgess
Production Director Fiona McTernan
Music Editor Jeff Hemmings
Finance Manager Sharon Caple
Chief Sub Editor Alison Swann
Art Director Stephen King
Listings Editor Nick Aldwinckle
Production Manager Neil Ive
Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi
Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Staff Writers Craig Driver Dani Winch Designers Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Faye Perriam Steve Sawyer Sub Editors Joe Curtin Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell
Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Sales Lucy Kamper Sophie Longhurst Marie Viviani Administration Claire Peerless Sara Henfridsson
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jobs
Business aid Sam Dickinson of local solicitors Dean Wilson Laing gives invaluable advice to the city’s thousands of small companies and employees This week: Employment Law Samantha Dickinson is a Solicitor who having qualified in 2001 now specialises in Employment Law but also has expertise in both Civil and Commercial Litigation. She runs seminars providing employment updates to both existing and potential clients and regularly represents clients in the Employment Tribunals and County Courts. Sam is a member of the Employment Lawyers Association and Liberty. Q. So what’s new in Employment Law? A. Well, lots really! Firstly, from 1 October 2008 the National Minimum Wage increases to £5.73 per hour for workers aged 22 and over. There are also changes in the law from October in relation to employees who adopt children from overseas and as regards maternity and adoption leave generally.
Q. Do tips that my employees receive count towards their minimum wage if they are paid through a Tronc? A. No. Until recently tips could be included in an employee’s minimum wage where those tips were paid via an employer’s Tronc but a recent appeal case reversed this rule. That said, if you retain the Tronc monies in your own bank account and transfer them directly to your employee’s bank accounts through your own payroll system, the rules are different. Q. I’ve heard that changes are afoot as regards Disability Discrimination following a European Court ruling. What are the changes? A. The European Court of Justice recently ruled that the Disability Discrimination Act protects employees against direct discrimination by reason of their being the carer of a disabled person, even if the employee themselves is not disabled. This is known as discrimination by
association. Public sector employees enjoy this protection immediately but it is thought that Parliament will have to amend the wording of the Act before private sector employees are also covered by the change. Q. So as a private sector employer, I don’t have to do anything to my disability policy and procedure yet? A. Not really, no. It would be sensible for you to implement changes now because it is open to a Tribunal in this country to interpret the law in line with the intentions of Europe. Also, the eventual outcome of this case will make associative discrimination unlawful so it’s wise to make changes now and communicate those changes to your managers and staff.
Q. Discrimination law is confusing as there is so much of it and it seems to keep changing. How can I keep on top of it? A. It is an ever changing area of law and there is also the Equality Act 2006 to bear in mind now. Whilst the impact of this legislation will initially be felt by public sector employees, there will be a ripple effect on private sector employees as well - especially if you do business with the public sector. The best way to keep abreast of these changes in the law is to consult a Solicitor to review your existing policies to ensure they are compliant and to talk to them before taking any action against an employee.
Do you have a question on employment law for Sam? Send it to Latest Homes at our usual address, or by email to editorial@thelatest.co.uk
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LATESTDIARY
COMPETITIONS
latestdiary
IN IT TO WIN IT
With Tim Richardson
Win super hero size prizes!
José A Vides at Sydney street
X-Men Season 1, Volume 1
On Friday 15 August at Sydney Street Gallery, José A Vides began his first Brighton exhibition with selected works from a new series of illustration with photography and mixed media titled Marionetas. Now based in the city, José found a passion in art, creating through paint which led to a desire to experiment creatively through as many innovative ways possible. Avant garde combinations with materials, textures, colours and nonconventional methods, Jose tested the waters in June 2008 with great reception at the Open House Festival in Brighton. The exhibition runs until 13 September 2008 at Sydney Street Gallery, Sydney Street, Brighton.
Before the hugely successful films, Marvel’s X-Men were a popular comic book series. Several of the famous storylines were adapted into a cartoon, making a faithful tribute to the comic strip. This is for X-Men fans new and old, as the first ever complete X-Men series is released on DVD in chronological order. We have three copies of this new DVD to give away, featuring the first seven X-Men episodes. Join Cyclops, Jean Grey, Rogue, Gambit, Jubilee, Storm and Wolverine as they to protect mankind from mutant supermacist Magneto, in the hope that humans and mutants can live together in peace. For a chance to win this new DVD, tell us: Who plays Wolverine in the X-Men films? A James Marsden, B Hugh Jackman, G Hugh Grant
watch
The Incredible Hulk Complete Animated Series The Marvel super hero outing continues with the next new release from Liberation Entertainment. We have three copies of the very first Incredible Hulk animated series to give away! Made in 1966, the Hulk’s first animated adventures are available for the first time on DVD. Featuring all 39 original episodes, making up over four hours of action, this is a must-have for every fan of the Incredible Hulk. To win, tell us: Who played the Hulk in the original television series? A Ed Norton, B Lou Ferrigno, C Hulk Hogan
to watch
The Neverending Story
José A Vides
Murder in mind On Monday 18 August, set in the fabulous surroundings of the Paganini Ballroom in the historic Old Ship Hotel on Brighton seafront, The Brighton Theatre Collective presented Trunks, a wonderful play by local writer by Stephen Plaice. Set in Brighton in the thirties and presented by an 18-strong ensemble company led by Richard Hawley (Love Actually, Prime Suspect) Gary Sefton (RSC, Saving Private Ryan, Casualty) and Sian Webber (Trial and Retribution, Bad Girls, Silent Witness). Featuring ballroom dancing, tumbling, pierrotters, fish ’n’ chips, murder, sleaze and courtroom sensation. Go along and revisit the Brighton dubbed ‘The Queen of Slaughtering Places‘ – because of the events of this true story: two trunks, two bodies, one hot summer. The show runs until the 29 August. tickets from: Brighton Dome Box Office: Call 01273 709709 or www.brightonticketshop.com
Another animated outing, this week we have three copies of the fantasy classic The Neverending Story, courtesy of Warner Home Video on DVD. First released in 1984, old fans will not want to miss out on a chance of owning this classic, while new audiences will love the enchantment and magic. Relive the journey of a lifetime with Bastian, Falcor the luck dragon, Rock Biter the tricycleriding giant and other characters – racing snails, giant wolves, mushroom creatures and giant talking turtles! To win, tell us: When was The Neverending Story first released?
to watch
Why Is Uranus Upside Down? Here’s a book that will answer those mind-boggling questions about life and the universe. Summerdale books are offering readers the chance to win three copies of this new book by Fred Watson. If you’re intrigued by what goes on in outer space, fancy knowing more about stargazing or just want to impress friends and family with bits of knowledge, then this book is for you. What is the length of a day on the moon? Are there other universes? What are Saturn’s rings made of? Can an aircraft keep up with the dawn on to read Earth? Did men really land on the moon? We know the answers... Make sure you bag yourself a copy to find out more! To win, tell us: Which planet in the solar system is the farthest away from the sun? A Mercury, B Earth, C Pluto
Frank Finlay, Josh Coombes, Ben Coombes, Cathy Finlay, James Coombes
6 latest 7
To be in with a chance of winning, email: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the prize you wish to win in the subject box. Leave your answer to the question in the body of the email, along with your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: Tuesday 2 September.
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ALISON’SCOLUMN
See more at thelatest.co.uk
Swanning around Alison Swann looks at why Brighton can feel eerily familiar
Turn back time A friend said to me recently that he had experienced a huge sense of déjà vu while walking up Vere Road, here in Brighton. He was making a familiar journey and decided to take a different route, with no reason in mind other than novelty and the unexplained vagaries of human decision-making. He looked up as he walked and was drawn to wall, alongside which was a line of parked cars. He stood and stared at the wall and was overwhelmed by a feeling of being there as a child and of his dad parking the car and lifting him out of the back seat. It made me wonder how many people have had that experience as they walk around Brighton? So many of us have come to live here by choice as adults. But, as unquestionably one of the most popular seaside resorts in the UK, a huge percentage of Brighton’s so-called migrant population are sure to have been here at some point in our childhoods, and been part of the mass of people we ‘locals’ so lovingly refer to as tourists – I know I was. My earliest memory of coming here was with my grandad Jack and his mate ‘Arry (dropped ‘H’). My grandad looked and dressed like Richard Attenborough’s Pinkie Brown character from the film Brighton Rock, although by the time I knew him he wasn’t exactly a Young Scarface, more like old crumply face. Nonetheless his trilby was always rakishly cocked over slicked back hair and he always wore a waistcoat and jacket, along with perfectly pressed trousers and polished black leather shoes – even on the hottest summer’s day. ‘Arry was an old teddy boy, complete with thinning dyed-black quiff. He had the physique of Dot Cotton, and an even heavier nicotine addiction. Jack ’n’ ‘Arry were old-school East Enders and by the time I was taking my first trips to Brighton with them in the late 1970s, both were pensioners. My older brother and I would often stay with our grandparents in London during the summer holidays. We would get very excited when we‘d overhear ‘Arry saying to our gran: “Tell you what, why don’t me and Jack take the kids out for the day, Margie. We can pop ‘em down Brighton – nice day out for the kids. Nah, don’cha worry luv, we’ll take care of ‘em.” ‘Arry always did the talking as my grandad pretended to read the Racing
Post. Before long we would be sliding around on the black leather back seat of ‘Arry’s canary yellow Ford Capri, burning our way down to Brighton and marvelling at ‘Arry’s ability to see where he was going through the fog of Woodbine smoke billowing out of the two men. Jack and ‘Arry’s idea of “taking care of ‘em” involved dropping my brother and I on the beach by the Palace Pier and, after furnishing us with 50p each and ensuring we had the sandwiches and swimsuits our gran had packed, turning the car around and heading off for a day at Brighton Racecourse. This was the part of the day that was always carefully edited from our account of the ‘lovely day out in Brighton with grandad and Uncle Harry’. The unspoken agreement between the two old boys and us was that if we behaved ourselves on the beach, while they were spending their pensions at the races, then we would get a treat. A bag of sweets normally did the trick. I never questioned that my grandad was doing anything wrong in leaving a seven-year-old and a ten-year-old to fend for themselves all day. We always had a great time and I am sure we weren’t the only children on the beach without an adult in tow. Plus, I trusted my grandad. He was always there under the clock at the end of the day, swaying slightly from a day of celebration and making jokes as ‘Arry, chuckling by his side, reached out to swing me in the air, up and over onto his bony shoulders. I sometimes think of Jack and ‘Arry when I walk past the clock at the end of the Palace Pier and smile. And looking at the tourists visiting the city every day I ponder on how many people’s memories are being made right there, right then. Tourists made and continue to make Brighton. Be nice to them, you were probably one yourself once.
“My grandad looked and dressed like Richard Attenborough’s Pinkie Brown from the film Brighton Rock“
Comments? Get in touch: alison@thelatest.co.uk
latestcrossword Cryptic 158 ACROSS 1 Man, a teetotaller, among alcoholics in sailing event (7) 5 Intimidated into being married to business (5) 8 Driver’s companion not pulling his weight, perhaps (9) 9 A good suggestion for the waiter? (3) 10 Doctor, boring thing, has slow speech (5) 12 Tree lady heartless towards the old folk (7) 13 Please make arrangements to pass (6) 14 Mountains erupting in quiet yet prominent publicity (6) 17 A show of praise for Dali put in a strange way (7) 19 Passage at the end of a low place (5) 21 Fabulous bird caught by observers (3) 22 Stratagem in which chap works in France (9) 24 Once a great water, in a way (5) 25 Initially Alice searched around with spirit (7)
DOWN 1 Quick way to fix a drip (5) 2 Droop from bringing up fuel (3) 3 Minstrel listens by holding plant support (7) 4 He’s all for sport if there's a catch in it (6) 5 Being preserved and restored to health (5) 6 Ewart gets unsettled before autumn river plunge (9) 7 Pithy composition with dead canon’s initials in register of saints (7) 11 Have canal designed as Alpine phenomenon (9) 13 Clairvoyance [painting a circle on the grass] (7) 15 Rise up and carry the French drink on a decorative tray (7) 16 The way fish smell (6) 18 Evil spirit beginning to show (5) 20 Surrender or I get in ye 50 and 500 (5) 23 Examine the animal expert (3)
solutions on page 34
Quick 158 ACROSS 1 Glisten (7) 5 Not in use (5) 8 Restless (9) 9 Domestic animal (3) 10 Mortal (5) 12 Weaken (7) 13 Faithful (6) 14 Lawmen (6) 17 Get (7) 19 Strained (5) 21 Frozen water (3) 22 Butchery (9) 24 Mountain chain (5) 25 Merciful (7)
DOWN 1 Rigid (5) 2 Wicked spirit (3) 3 Bluecoat (7) 4 Sorry (6) 5 Devil (5) 6 Musical instrument (9) 7 Remote (7) 11 Cudgel (9) 13 Dog (7) 15 Eight-sided figure (7) 16 Bring to mind (6) 18 Offspring (5) 20 Heron (5) 23 Part of foot (3)
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EMOTIONS
Dani’s diary Dani lets her sister write her column, as Francesca prepares to leave Brighton and start university Well the pressure is on now… Not only because I have to write in the shadow of Dani, but also because I am going to find out how worth two years of college is and whether or not I will be off to Greenwich University this September. Having been given a little voice to air my views I have become overwhelmed my how much I need to say to make all right with the world. Firstly let me explain what it is like to take exams like GCSEs and A levels as it is a huge misconception that we get an easy ride in life. Not only are you learning to become an adult and accept responsibilities like relationships and part-time jobs, but we also have to juggle peer pressure, coursework, and exams, plus getting enough sleep to function the next day. So I believe we are entitled to a little fun, thanks. However this comes at a price because anybody over the age of thirty instantly forgets what it
“It seems that we work too hard for so little appreciation, considering we are the future” was like to be a young adult (I hate this term but it seems appropriate) and it seems that they are programmed to be under the impression that exam answers are written on the same sheet as the questions; that we all wear hoodies and binge drink every other day; or are at the clinic for treatment of an STI with our babies in tow. It seems that we work too hard for so little appreciation, considering we are the future, I just hope when I have children I will take the time to understand and respect them. “Charity begins at home“ is a phrase which will become one of my favourites considering I am to venture off the the student-land of university and I have to say that it’s been very nice to be a little spoilt by family, especially Danielle, who are buying me all the essentials I may need, but a little part of me can’t help thinking if it is only because they are getting a little too eager for me to move away! Right then, looks like I’m out of a job!
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AROUNDTOWN
sponsored by
Celebcity with Jo Brooks
Style with substance Gresham Blake launches charity campaign, Will Young visits and Jordan gets more surgery Bond Street tailor to the stars, Gresham Blake launched his new charity campaign last week. Gresham has managed to get a stellar list of celebrities to design their own ties for children's Cancer charity, CLIC Sargent. So far, stars include U2 guitarist, The Edge, Virgin boss Richard Branson, Jonathan Ross, Jose Mourinho, GQ Editor Dylan Jones, Norman Cook, Jimmy Carr and Matt Lucas who have all submitted designs which Gresham has duly produced into a fantastic range of 100 per cent silk ties. The idea was given to Gresham by ex-champion boxer Barry McGuigan, who is a regular customer to the North Laine store. The ties are now available in store or by logging on to www.greshamblake.com or www.clicsargent.org.uk
Idol in town There was much excitement at the Southern FM studios last week as original Pop Idol winner Will Young, dropped into the breakfast show, now hosted by Danny Pike, Jack the Lad and Lindsey Bartlett. Will revealed that Brighton beach was the inspiration behind his latest album Let It Go. The star, who established himself as a number one chart topper after winning TV show Pop Idol, talked music, life after winning Pop Idol, surfing, and his current single ‘Changes‘. “I come down to Brighton heaps now. I was working down here last summer, writing on the beach and found it such a great place. It inspired a lot of the album,“ said Will. “The great thing is that Brighton’s got such a cool feel, yet is still different to London. I never get any hassle here, I potter around and get to do my own thing, I love it!” Lindsey Bartlett said: “Will was a brilliant bloke to interview. He looked fantastic and was on top form, even though he’d spent all weekend at The V Festival and came in to the show first thing on Monday. The best news is he’s got brains as well as looks as he got the top score on the celebrity £1000 minute leader board!“
More surgery for Ms Price Katie Price aka our fave model Jordan flew back into the UK last weekend, after yet another round of US plastic surgery. Katie, who currently has two top ten bestselling books in the charts, went under the knife in Beverley Hills to reduce her famous rack to a C cup. After spending a whopping £43,000 on a nip and tuck last year, Katie is still determined to achieve the perfect body, despite having given birth to three kids. The model, who has admitted husband Peter, thinks she has had enough surgery, has regular botox injections and has even let the cameras film these sessions for reality show Jordan and Peter for ITV2.
Skating on thin ice Burgess Hill-based TV presenter Holly Willoughby has admitted in a recent interview that the most embarrassing moment of her life was when she was nine. During a trampoline lesson, Holly's gym knickers got stuck in the springs of the said apparatus. “They had to cut my pants off,“ said Holly.
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com
To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk
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ONLY JOKING!
See more at thelatest.co.uk
Bare cheek What’s not on Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
Don’t forget… Five things you must do in Brighton before you die Remark that ‘Famous Moe’s Pizza‘ should really be called ‘Moe’s Famous Pizza‘, since Moe’s fame could well be entirely unrelated to pizza, and could hardly be seen as a recommendation to eat his food.
1
Start a club night named after a 1980’s chocolate bar that only you and your mates go to.
2
Laugh out loud as you pass a typically surreal Evening Argus headline ‘TODDLER WASP DEATH
3
DAD’S COCOA SUICIDE‘ displayed outside a newsagent, only to feel bad later when you discover it’s actually a rather tragic and depressing story.
Cinema
Some bobbins about fairies, princesses, and unicorns, desperately trying to cash in on the waning Lord of the Rings bandwagon before it evaporates completely.(U) (Contains moderate language and very mild peril.) 12.00, 2.30, 4.30, 7.00, 9.00 Relentlessly violent Bond film that makes you nostalgic for the days when Roger Moore would travel underwater in an invisible car while making love
Tut loudly as a huge crocodile of teenage foreign students dressed in identical Tshirts suddenly appears in front of you as you struggle to push your poncy Bugaboo up North Street.
4 5
A local poet writes
On saying goodbye to Brighton Pride for another year: As I approach my twilight years, This last of all my summers... (The rest of this poem has been censored for reasons of colossal homophobia, hate crimes, incentive to violence, and gross personal libel on the person of David Milliband.)
Astral Angi ★Finding truth in the stars★
Almost insultingly indifferent kids’ flick which makes no bones about only existing to keep the brats occupied for two hours during the summer holidays. (U) (Contains mild language, mild distress and very mild peril.) 9.00, 10.30, 12.00 Threadbare action-adventure threequel. (12A) (Contains moderate fantasy violence, mildly sexy peril, and mildly perilous sex.) 10.00, 2.30, 4.30, 7.00, 9.00 Pixar animation which is fantastic for the first 45 minutes, but drops off alarmingly thereafter, leading one to wonder why they didn’t just make a shorter film. (U) (Contains sexy violence and very mild washing up liquid.) 12.00, 2.30, 4.30, 7.00,
Feel a bit melancholy after visiting the Sealife Centre.
Retired gasfitter and local bard Ron Outhouse, 69, presents another poem written specially for Bare Cheek. Ron’s self-published poetry collections, Buttercups and Daisy Chains, Oh No! It’s Outhouse Again!!, and They Should Stick ‘Em All On An Island Somewhere are all available from Brighton bookshops. He is a regular (and lively!) contributor to many local newspaper letters pages and radio phone-in programmes.
to a model and raising his eyebrows. (15) (Contains strong language and very sexy peril.) 12.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.00, 10.30
In & Out IN
OUT
• Supergirly
• Kenny G
• Daddy or chips?
• Ally McBeal
• “Fat Man In The Kitchen”
• “Fat Man On A Bicycle”
• That “shocking revelation” movie sound effect that sounds a lot like when you pull the grill pan out
• The controversy about giving hurricanes female names. • Ffion Hague
• James Burke
Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!
BARDSLEY’S
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)
CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)
LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)
Time this week for us to get in touch with our inner spirits. Aries should look for a calm place both physically and mentally, somewhere to think hard. I suggest Storrington.
Cancer’s spirit is indominatable, a strength maybe, but one that needs to be tempered. Find a way of expressing your own sense of superiority that does feel like showing off.
Faith will play an important part in any Libran’s life. What you have faith in is up to you but choose carefully, some of us put too much faith in inappropriate places.
CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19). Capricorns have a tendency to take spirituals matter on board like a new handbag or hairdo. Your shoulder is not a fashion statement, your spirit cannot wear labels, or can it?
TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)
LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)
SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)
AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)
Inside every Taurean is a cool headed beast that simply begs to be loved. Make you own life simpler by embracing the quiet you and putting aside the noisy aggressive one.
Intense and deep spiritual searching may well be required here to penetrate the inner pussy behind the roaring lion. Meditation can be a very effective spiritual lubricant.
Scorpio may be tempted to see any sort of inner soul-seeking as an indulgence and prefer to see the body as a temple. Well if that does it for you, pump that iron.
Aquarians can spend so much time looking inward that they have a habit of disappearing up their own chakras. Maybe Aquarians should look out this week, just for a change.
GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)
VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)
SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)
PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)
Asking Geminis to look inside their own souls could be seen as dangerous, but I am prepared to take the risk. Take a look. Do you like what you see? No, I thought not.
Before you go any further Virgo, this is not an excuse to dress in chiffon and waft around the place like Isadora Duncan. No, sit down, cross your legs and concentrate.
I suspect that before we ask Sagis to meditate we will have to wake them up. Wake up, wakey wakey. WAKE UP!!! Oh forget it, leave them to their dreams, or nightmares.
Looking inwardly Pisces what do you see? Is it a happy place that you occupy or a sad one. If sad then you can remedy this with a happy plaice at Bardsley’s.
10 latest 7
To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk
011_LS387_newsbigstory
8/22/08
1:20 PM
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latest news No nonsense, just news. Send your stories to: news@thelatest.co.uk
After an unforgettable Chinese Olympics Rachel Pegg meets the vibrant Chinese community here in Brighton
China town The eyes of the world have been focused towards Beijing for the last few weeks.The success of the Olympic Games and the official handover on Sunday have strengthened Britain's links to China and made the two countries forge a stronger relationship. Sometimes criticisms of China’s government have dominated the headlines. But the 2008 Games have also offered ordinary people in the UK the chance to learn more about modern China and its people. Not everyone realises that the Chinese community is one of the biggest cultural groups in Brighton and Hove. There are an estimated 2,000 to 3,000 first generation immigrants in the city, mostly students who have come to study at one of the universities, colleges or language schools. In East and West Sussex, there are believed to be a further 4,000 to 5,000 Chinese residents. On Sunday (24 August) Brighton hosted a Chinese festival showcasing Chinese arts and culture, with dragon dance demonstrations, Cantonese opera, calligraphy and lantern making in the Pavilion Gardens. The family event was presented by the Royal Pavilion and Museums, Brighton and Hove, and was linked to the Chinoiserie exhibition Chinese Whispers at Brighton Museum. Dee Simson, city council cabinet member for inclusion, said the day was organised as a way of commemorating the richness of Chinese culture. She said: “It is obviously a great chance to celebrate the important part the Chinese community plays in Brighton and Hove. They are a big part of our city. We are very keen that the contribution they make is recognised.“ Chinese Mandarin is growing as a subject in Brighton and Hove and is taught at Hove Park School, a specialist language college. In the independent sector, Brighton College has made Mandarin a compulsory subject for all pupils from the age of three. When the policy came into force last year, headteacher Richard Cairns said it was introduced to prepare every child for the realities of the 21st century. He said: “China is certain to be the second-largest economic power in the world by the time these three-year-olds leave the college in 2022.“ Since last year the Hove-based Chinese Educational Development Project has been running Chinese Days in state schools across Sussex to enable children to experience basic language learning and cultural activities such as the Chinese lion dance, food, music, Kung fu, Tai Chi and origami.
“I am amazed how many years they have been arguing about the Albion stadium. In China ten stadiums would be built”
CEDP also runs after school Chinese language clubs. Jin McMartin, vice chair and language trainer, said: “I think globalisation brings Britain and China a lot closer. Historically there is a negative side to the relationship between Britain and China because of war. There is a link there now for economic and political reasons. Chinese students love to come to the UK.“ Chinese students usually need some time to adjust to the different way of studying in Britain, with fewer exams, less reliance on memory and greater emphasis on original and independent thought. The CEDP and Chinese Centre, which used to be located at Community Base in Queens Road, Brighton, has a temporary home in Davigdor Road, Hove. It is due to move into the new City Point development in the New England Quarter later on this year and is waiting for the building to be ready. Project workers are looking forward to being back in central Brighton. Mrs McMartin said: “The Chinese Centre used to be a drop-in centre for Chinese and Chinese origin people to come and network or socialise with other people. It is also a centre for local, non-Chinese people who are really interested in Chinese culture who want to find out more.“ The centre teaches British awareness and the English language to Chinese people. On Sunday, Brighton hosted an Olympic handover celebration on Brighton seafront and a community beach volleyball tournament at Yellowave Beach Sports Centre. Brighton will be a beach volleyball training camp for London 2012. Mrs McMartin said she was pleased to see the successes of both Great Britain and China in this year’s Olympics. She came to the UK ten years ago and loves both countries, but can see differences between them. “When China wants to do one thing, we can mobilise the whole country to do it. In Britain, people always have different views. I am always amazed in Brighton how many years they have been arguing about the Albion stadium. I say to my husband: ‘This is just a small city, it's been ten years and they are still talking about it. In China ten stadiums would be built.‘ “It is amazing the bureaucratic processes you have to go through.“ See next week's Latest 7 for pictures of the Chinese celebrations and Olympic handover. CEDP is keen for more schools to take advantage of its Chinese Days. To find out more about this or any of its work, visit the Chinese Centre at 31 Davigdor Road, Hove or call 07877 302806 or 07882 852638. Chinese Whispers continues at Brighton Museum and Royal Pavilion until Sunday 2 November. latest 7 11
012_LS387_newssummary
8/22/08
11:09 AM
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LATESTNEWS
news summary
7 days of headlines
Friends paid tribute to retired cricketer Bill Lawton. Mr Lawton, 88, was married to comic actress Dora Bryan. The couple are well known in Brighton and used to own the glamorous Claridges Hotel on Kemp Town seafront. As Latest 7 went to press a funeral date had not been set, but Ms Bryan said all who knew Bill were welcome. Drivers were given a free MOT at a charity event. Becks Peugeot garage in Burgess Hill held the fundraiser in aid of the British Heart Foundation, which wants to buy an echo machine for the Princess Royal Hospital.
Singing estate agent He’s more used to singing into his hairbrush than a microphone. But an estate agent is in the running to win £25,000 worth of prizes including a recording contract. Lee Cooper, a sales negotiator for Tingleys Hove, has made it through to the regional final of Idol 2008. On 27 September he will compete in front of an audience of 1,000 at the Hove Centre for a place in the national final of the music and dance competition. He will be one of 20 aspiring singers taking part, who were all picked at auditions at Brighton’s Thistle Hotel. Lee sang ‘Amazed’ by Lonestar. He said: “I was excited and amazed that I got through because I was really nervous and shaking loads.” While a massive karaoke fan, the 22-year-old has never
performed at a professional gig. “I love singing,” he said. “If there’s karaoke on somewhere, I’m there. I’m a regular down the King and Queen on a Tuesday with all the students.” Regional finalists have to find their own backing track and have a choice of performing solo or in front of a musician or dancers. Lee has not yet chosen his song. Asked if he would give up the day job for a recording contract, he admitted: “I don’t want to lose my job – but yes!” Idol 2008 was previously called South Coast Idol. Across the UK, over 10,000 people are expected to enter, making it the country's biggest talent contest outside of X-Factor. Auditions are still taking place. Visit www.idol.uk.com
latest 7
NEWS
Solicitors announced they would slash the cost of making a will to help a children’s charity. From 13 to 24 October six law firms in Brighton and Hove will offer a basic will for £75 and a joint will for £130. The entire fee will be donated to Rockinghorse, the Brightonbased charity supporting children in hospitals across Sussex. Call 01273 730286.
Reverb continues Radio Reverb is here to stay – so forget what you might have heard. There are rumours that Brighton and Hove’s community radio station is cancelling its live shows. In fact, the station continues to have live shows every weekday – including the morning show and Latest Soup, the 4–6pm show fronted by Latest 7 music editor Jeff Hemmings and guest writers. Only the lunchtime show has been cancelled to ensure the station’s long term survival. Jeff, one of the station’s volunteer managers, said: “We’ve still got 50 or 60 original shows. Whether they’re prerecorded or live is neither here nor there. “When we can employ a fulltime station manager, we will have more live shows.” The station is in talks with community groups and public bodies to see if they would like to have a show. Jeff said: “We are always looking for good show ideas from the community of Brighton.” Email info@radioreverb.com
Marina reassurance Residents’ views are key to Marina master plan Some residents are worried about the future of Brighton Marina. Writing in Latest 7, city council leader Mary Mears explains that no decisions have yet been taken – and how you can get your voice heard. Look out for Mary’s regular column, starting next week I have been following closely recent discussions about Brighton Marina. As ward councillor and council leader, I know it’s an issue people feel strongly about. Everyone wants the Marina improved. But there is not always consensus on the best approach. I am hearing three messages loud and clear from residents: They are worried about the height of buildings there. They fear overdevelopment – the Marina turning into a massive housing estate. And people are anxious about extra traffic. Residents’ views on this are vital, so the council is running an extensive consultation, gathering opinions to create a Marina master plan. So far there has been a meeting in June with organised groups. This was interrupted by concerned residents who understandably wanted their voices heard, but did not realise meetings were being arranged to hear their views too. These meetings and a six-week independently run consultation will take place this autumn. However we must be clear what we are consulting about. There is no council agenda to construct tall buildings or massive housing estates at the Marina. The master plan shouldn’t be
12 latest 7
Do you want the Marina to look like this?
confused with any private planning applications. A master plan crucially allows the council to work with residents to create guidelines for future developments. Doubtless, during consultation, many will focus on tall buildings, housing and transport. On each issue the council is asking what level of control people favour – maximum control, minimal control or no action. For example, should there be a building height limit, or a caseby-case approach? I want the Marina to be a better place – where people get around easily, the shops are bustling, the new buildings attractive, and the public spaces pleasant. That’s not always the case now. And it’s the sort of the thing you can only get with the overall plan we’re trying to create. Some are worried decisions have already been taken. I’m reassuring everyone that is not the case. So I urge everyone to get involved in the autumn consultation so that we can work together to ensure the Marina can be improved in a way we can all enjoy.
If you would like to comment on these stories please email news@thelatest.co.uk
013_LS387_newsphil
8/22/08
11:44 AM
Page 1
LATESTNEWS Phil Mills reports on the ghosts that are said to haunt the theatres of East Sussex
Our theatre ghosts A poltergeist, a smartly dressed doorman and a fragile teenage girl are reported to be haunting Brighton theatres. The dozens of ghosts treading the boards in the city are said to be friendly and do not cause any harm. Nevertheless, it is rumoured that supernatural activity at one venue has spooked staff when working alone at night. The Corn Exchange, one of the three sites operated by Brighton Dome, is reputed to be haunted by a poltergeist. Stories about this and other ghosts are detailed in a new book Haunted Theatres of East Sussex. Author Tina Lakin describes that the haunting has been going on for some time in the Corn Exchange building, which dates back to 1868. She writes: “Poltergeist activity has been present here for many years, but little notice is really taken of it any more as it causes no harm or hurt in anyway.
“It is particularly in the bar area that ghostly activity has been noted, where glasses fall, breaking and exploding when no one was near them. The poltergeist also plays naughty tricks in the ladies toilets, and it has been known to flush the toilet when people have been using them!” Dome spokeswoman Shelley Bennett said no one currently working there has seen the ghostly activity but there has been talk of it. She said: “We have heard rumours of it but there has been no positive sightings.” Spooky happenings also affect Theatre Royal Brighton, where a smartly dressed doorman who devoted his whole working life at the venue can be seen. According to Haunted Theatres: “It was
latest 7
NEWS
Great haul of China A-level star Lin Mo is celebrating gaining the top grade in four subjects including an A/S in her native Mandarin Chinese. One of the secrets of her success, apart from hard work and talent, was the help she received from her teacher who also happens to be her mother. The 17-year-old student at Hove Park School, Hove, said: “My parents and I came to this country when I was ten and so I could already speak Mandarin – but I wasn’t very good at writing it. My mother made me write essays over and over.” She also credits a little help from her MP3 player and TV. “I like to relax from studies by listening to R’n’B music and watching TV, especially the BBC comedy Mock the Week.” Lin Mo, whose other As were in Biology, Chemistry and Maths, plus a B in French, plans to go on to study at Brighton and Sussex Medical School to qualify as a doctor.
“The poltergeist plays naughty tricks in the ladies toilets – it has been known to flush the toilet when people have been using them!” said that he died of a broken heart when it was suggested that he should retire at quite an old age. His life was the theatre. However his happy spirit has chosen to linger on.” Theatre spokeswoman Emma Riley said she had not heard of a doorman, but Theatre Royal Brighton has a famous ghost called the Grey Lady – believed to be Mrs Ellen Nye Chart, who owned the theatre from 1876 to 1892. Some people believe it is also haunted by the ghost of the French actress Sarah Bernhardt. The Nightingale Theatre near Brighton Station is believed to be the resting place of 14-year-old Emily Coalthorpe, who came to the building in the 1880s shortly after it opened as the Railway
Lin Mo with mother Lin Quan Juan and her brother Ran Mo, five
Hotel. Frail Emily was the daughter of a tailor and his wife from South East London and had been sick all her life with breathing problems and chest pains. The family came to Brighton to benefit from the sea air. Following a period of recovery and bathing in the healing sea waters, Emily took an unexpected turn for the worse and caught a chill. She died three days later. Tina Lakin writes: “Doctors said that Emily’s condition had not really changed much since arriving by the sea but all the enjoyable experiences had made her feel better and that in itself was a tonic. She had worn herself out but at least she had been happy. “As she was dying her parents told her that she would always be their beautiful little nightingale. Perhaps this is how the theatre acquired its name.” latest 7 13
014_LS387_letters/sport
8/21/08
6:31 PM
Page 2
LATESTSPORT
Letters 1
Send your comments to letters@thelatest.co.uk
1 6 Western Road, about 1930 2 Bradshaw’s at night, pre-war 3 Farman Street. My dad supplied bikes to the nurses 4 A magazine article about the old man 5 1941, war bond raising with my dad, The Mayor and Will Fyffe, a then famous entertainer 6 My dad invented the ‘silent milk cart’. They always had wooden wheels and at 5am or earlier they woke everyone up. This was a great deal at the time. That's me, aged seven, 1930
2 5 6
3
4 Memories of Brighton and Hove An article by Robert Stuart Nemeth inspired an elderly reader to recount his memories behind the story Hi Robert, Please be patient; this may take a while. It’s about your excellent piece on 5 and 6 Western Road, Hove. A friend of mine sent it to me as he does with anything unusual about Brighton and Hove Referring first to the picture at the head of your piece – I was born in the room behind the top floor left-hand window. How about that? Number 6 Western Road started out as a New Hudson Companyowned cycle store just after World War I. My dad worked for New Hudson Co and was asked to move from Birmingham to manage this store, I believe, some time in the early 20s. I came along in 1924 – so I am pretty old now! Soon after that my dad had the opportunity to buy the business and it became Bradshaw’s, later Bradshaws for Bicycles and finally George Bradshaw (Sussex) Ltd. My dad bought Number 5 long before World War II, and down the passage to Farman Street on the right was a five-storey warehouse and a neat wood workshop on the left. He also owned a few of those little houses. My dad owned eight cycle stores eventually, in Eastbourne, Lewes, Newhaven and Portslade. His motto was ‘I always have a thousand cycles in stock’. And he did! I was so sad to read your story. The last time I was ‘home’ the premises were an Indian restaurant. Your website is great. I have viewed many of your old stories. My wife (of 61 years) lived in Furze Croft and I lived in 26 Wick Hall. I went to many wild parties in Embassy Court at the beginning of World War II, and just past the lagoon still stands my old premises: Bradshaw Model Products, the south coast model railroad specialist! Thanks for your patience, Bob Bradshaw
You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
14 latest 7
Latest Sport Round ups and rumblings from the Latest Sports Bunker
Fighting future Latest Sport’s Joe Curtin looks at an emerging sport With British athletes spectacularly successful at this Olympic Games, Latest Sport is taking a look at a sport that promises to bring Britain gold in future Olympiads. A sport needs to be recognised by 29 countries before it becomes an Olympic discipline. Mixed martial arts (MMA) is currently recognised by sixteen. It is the fastest-growing sport in the world, and at the vanguard of its rapid rise in the UK is a man born and bred in Brighton. Sol Gilbert, Ultimate Combat British and European Middleweight champion, is behind the ZT Fight Skool, the stable bringing this phenomenon to Brighton this Saturday with ZT Fight Night at the Brighton Hilton Metropole. MMA, as its name suggests, is a combination of traditional Western boxing, kickboxing, Eastern martial arts and wrestling, and as such, skill and discipline are paramount. However, it is also referred to as ‘cage fighting’, a name that may conjure up images of a poor Jean-Claude Van Damme movie; of barely suppressed aggression and violence. Latest Sport sent me to the ZT gym to see if this perception is in any way accurate or indeed warranted. The first thing that strikes you is the ‘cage’ the fighters compete in. It is an octagonal ring, and what alludes to it being a cage is the elastic meshing surrounding it to a height of around six feet. There is a boxing ring adjacent to it and it is immediately apparent that with the mixed discipline nature of MMA that it would be impossible in this for safety reasons, as the participants could too easily fall through the ropes. Disappointingly there is no one coating their bandaged knuckles in broken glass either. In fact the socially mixed group training are doing endurance work – what appears to be a wheelbarrow race – after a workout on the bags. So far, so respectable. I speak to Sol Gilbert. He tells me it is the inter-disciplinary aspect of MMA that first attracted him to the sport. He started his career as a boxer, but upon seeing Ultimate Fighting he became intrigued and felt he needed to hone his martial arts skills. He travelled to Australia, New York and Thailand and became expert in Muay Thai and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
It became clear to Gilbert that boxing has a glass ceiling for many talented pugilists. Mixing disciplines gave him the freedom to grow as an athlete in a way boxing could not. This is something he wants to give to the fighters in his stable. ZT Fight Night is a way for talented martial artists to showcase their talents and from there to perform on the ultimate stage – the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC), the premier international MMA league. One such athlete is John Hathaway, who Sol is adamant will make it there. He says: He definitely will. He’s a very naturally gifted guy. He’s got a lot going for him. He’s young and dedicated.” Sol Gilbert
“There is no one coating their bandaged knuckles in broken glass ” Gilbert, Hathaway and ZT stable mate Ryan White have all competed at Cage Rage, the level below UFC, so have proven their ability at an impressive level. All those fighting on Saturday are professional and train three times a day to cope with the physical demands of the gruelling sport. So with a card packed with skilled, professional athletes and an array of fighting styles Saturday’s ZT Fight Night promises an exciting evening of martial arts action and is Brighton’s chance to check out this up-and-coming sport that’s sweeping the world. ZT Fight Night, Brighton Hilton Metropole, Sat 30 Aug. Tickets cost £35–£75 VIP (with 3 course meal). Please call 01273 202226 or visit www.fightskool.com
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8/21/08
11:05 AM
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016_LS387_health/model city
8/21/08
6:20 PM
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HEALTH
See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk
Model city Sandra Omo looks at the current trend of expecting models to work for free
Yo-yo poses Zara Baker goes up and down and round and about, as she finds there’s a yoga style to suit all
latest
Yoga is a modern trend, firmly planted in Western society from its Eastern roots. The majority embraced the ancient method of exercise and relaxation. Some may try a class and not see what all the fuss is about: what’s with all the posing and how is that beneficial exercise? It may just be that you haven’t found the right type of yoga to suit you. If you wandered in to a drop-in class, not really sure of what to expect, you may have been alienated by the calm, meditative methods. Whatever happened to a gym instructor barking at you to not extend your knee over your toes when completing squats? Yoga is a different choice of lifestyle, more in line with swimming than aerobics and more calming than an evening jog. It is exercise, but it’s about our spiritual and mental self as well. The physical benefits are vast, but so are the emotional ones, and this is what makes yoga an effective exercise choice. It’s about finding inner calm, being in tune with both the body and mind, and strengthening the body. A main focus in a yoga session is on breathing. We have a greater awareness of inhaling oxygen, providing the body with vital fuel to keep us strong and healthy. This, combined with effective stretches and postures, helps clear the mind and calm emotions. An effective method of controlling stress, yoga helps release tension, which is normally held in the shoulders. Vinyasa Flow Yoga is closely linked to breath awareness. A session focuses on breath synchronised movement. Poses run together with breath to create smooth movements (hence the title ‘flow’), making it not just about stretching. If you want to try yoga for stretching, perhaps to promote healing after a sports injury, always consult with your doctor first. A gentle yoga session like Ashtanga (eight limbs) can help relieve pain and prevent diseases such as osteoporosis. Kundalini yoga is a more spiritual type, as untapped energy is drawn through the body from the base of the spine, offering enlightenment. Stress and anxiety can be reduced and symptoms such as migraines and headaches can be alleviated. If you want strength, flexibility and improved balance, an Iyengar Yoga session can be greatly benefited from. This method traditionally uses props such as belts and blocks for which to use in posing and balancing. These are just a few of the various types of yoga out there, so before you discard it, try a class that you will enjoy and find most beneficial.
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01273 818160 16 latest 7
Being a model sometimes means doing things for free. Whether it be a photo shoot, runway, commercial or whatever, my definition of free here is: ‘one good turn deserves another’ or you get something in kind in return. Even here, there comes a point where one has to draw the line between being a professional model and continuously doing free jobs – if not, how on earth are we supposed to earn a living? Boy, we need money to spend and pay bills too, you know. And besides, how does one call something a job or a profession if you cannot earn from it. Now there is another trend – I call it an epidemic – that has crept into the UK modelling industry: doing jobs in return for nothing apart from the perceived promotion one may get from it. This is so common these days that 80 per cent of the casting calls you see on UK modelling sites are for free jobs which, promotion wise, have nothing to offer. The sad thing is that models are killing themselves over these jobs. And it’s not just the new and unsigned models, as even models with top agencies do get a lot of calls by their agencies for free jobs. This leads me to ask these crucial questions: is the UK modelling industry running out of properly paid jobs for her models; or is it becoming saturated with people who just don’t want to pay models because they think they get promotion in return; or worse still, is it the models who just don’t care as long as it’s their face in the picture? I just can’t figure it out right now.
“Is it the models who don’t care as long as it’s their face in the picture?” Recently, I had a superb photo shoot, at the prestigious JAG (Julie-Anne Gilburt) gallery in Brighton, for my promotional campaign, publications in a coffeetable book and as well as a montage for gossiptv.co.uk. Halfway through we got talking with the team about this no-pay issue and someone mentioned something that got my attention. The shoot director said there are so many models out there that have no idea why they are models and what they want, let alone a planned career goal, so they throw themselves at any offer, thereby making life difficult for other models. Photographer: Patrick And erson Make-up artist: Nadine Pyk Organisers begin to think if they can get it for free then why pay for it? True, but can we blame these models since they have no bargaining power to influence organisers’ decisions or intentions? And how can models take a stand against this if there are no rules backing them up? So it’s a question of knowledge and power, not indecisiveness. And that’s why the fashion industry ought to have firm rules protecting its models, which is in one area it’s badly lacking. Don’t get me wrong, there are jobs worth doing for free, and freebies are a part of the joy you get from being a model. I have often heard famous models say the best part of their job is getting free stuff. Yeah, that’s fine when the free stuff is the ‘extras’ not the actual pay from your career. We all have fantasy jobs we won’t mind doing for free. I, for example, don’t mind doing a free shoot for Victoria’s Secrets, not because of the freebies but because of the promotion. But then let’s look at it this way, since Victoria’s Secret is not a charity organisation, and have the money to pay me, why don’t I aim, instead, to do a paid shoot for them, that way I can get the promotion, as well as the fulfilment of being paid for what I do. How about this kind of thinking, models?
If you would like to comment on this story please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk
017_LS387_TukTuk
22/8/08
12:22 PM
Page 1
COVERSTORY
Lap of luxury Tuk Tuk Limos announce new tuk tuk services Tuk Tuk Limos have a fleet of professionally chauffeur driven genuine Thai Tuk Tuks available. Their two six-seater tuk tuks are licensed and available for private parties, tours, promotional events and special functions.
Brighton tours Did you know private pre-booked sightseeing tours are also now available? Grab a chance to take a unique trip round the city. The tours take 35–45 minutes to tour Brighton, before returning to the start point.
Weddings and parties
Corporate promotions Tuk Tuks can easily be personalised for corporate events. They're a great way to get noticed and are a novel alternative for events and promotions. Unique six-seater Tuk Tuks make memorable transportation for clients or staff at corporate events. For further information on Tuk Tuk Services visit www.tuktuklimos.com. To book call 0770 749 7523. Further info: Tel: 0771 0234 558. Tuk Tuk Limos are a PSV licensed operator.
Tuk Tuks make for fun, novel and practical wedding transport that will make the big day memorable. They are ideally suited for the happy couple to be seen in, with a unique photo opportunity! Planning a hen night or party? Let professional Tuk Tuk drivers chauffeur you around in style.
latest 7 17
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8/22/08
8:37 AM
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latest
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019_LS387_food
8/20/08
7:36 PM
Page 3
ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK
Green consumer Andrew Kay drives out to The Green Man at Partridge Green
I do like the odd drive out into the country at the weekend, a run with the dog, maybe a farm shop or even a stately home, but above all there has to be somewhere for lunch. On the whole that will mean a little advance planning, a skip through the pages of one of the pub guides that litter the floor of the Noddy car, or a surf on the web. Last weekend I persuaded my mates M&J to join me for a jaunt into the country and after a little deliberation we settled on The Green Man at Partridge Green. It was a fairly easy journey, but not one of the prettiest routes around and I have to say Partridge Green is a bit drab when the sun isn’t shining, and it wasn’t. The pub itself is a handsome red brick Edwardian job, solid and dependable. Inside, like so many country inns the décor tends towards restaurant rather than pub. Not that I mind, after all, if that is where the business lies, who can blame them? Of course, there was a bit of a theme, green not surprisingly, but tastefully done. Nearly every table was set for lunch with only one area set as a bar, but there were several tables already dining and the welcome was warm and friendly.
M then chose a special of breadcrumbed chicken breast with spaghetti in a tomato sauce, a classic dish that they pulled off with aplomb. A huge portion of perfectly breadcrumbed chicken, clearly freshly done (not dragged out of some catering pack), sat beside a skein of linguine (not spaghetti, as M pointed out) in a rich tomato sauce. I looked on with envy. J chose blue skin shark with a piquant sauce. It arrived as a huge pearly slab of fish steak with the sauce around and she made lots of appropriate oohs and aaahs as she tucked in. I finally settled on pork fillet with sage mash, black pudding, apples and a Calvados jus. It certainly came up to scratch, really good flavours, good textures and precise cooking with an excellent sticky jus the colour of aged mahogany. The mash too was noteworthy, not too rich and with just the right amount of sage. A side dish of vegetables were tasty and well cooked too, not crunchy as is the fashion, but cooked enough for the science to change the flavour. The sauté potatoes looked good, but none of us needed them. There was no doubt this was quality cooking, way beyond your average pub fare and beyond a whole raft of restaurants too. J and I were too full for pud but M had room for a white chocolate mousse with raspberries that held her attention for some time as she eked out every last morsel. It certainly looked good, rich, dense and prettily presented. With three soft drinks, one glass of wine and a pint and a half of bitter the bill came to a little over £27 a head, not exactly cheap but for dishes of this quality and cooking of this skill not exactly expensive either. J inspected the ‘facilities’ and found them to be of the highest standard, almost full marks. If I were to have one criticism it would be that the décor is a little formal and the fully laid tables a little off putting. I would also lose the tiebacks on the curtains that just make it all seem a bit ‘mumsy’. The cooking is anything but mumsy, but the idea of watching my mother sauté frogs legs does put a wide smile on my face. The Green Man, Church Road, Partridge Green, West Sussex, RH13 8JT 01403 710250
46-48 Kings Road, Brighton BN1 1NA Tel: 01273 323600
‘‘The idea of watching my mother sauté frogs legs does put a wide smile on my face’’ Before long we had settled and ordered drinks. I like a drink whilst I choose my meal, even if it is only a grapefruit and soda. Our waiter also brought some good olives, corn chips and chilli sauce, a nice touch. The menu isn’t too long but it reads well – if a little ambitious. I have fallen foul of over-ambitious menus in the past, so I had a few doubts – could they pull this off? Well I need not have worried; the chef was certainly up to the task. To start M chose scallops with a pea foam. She was torn, the menu said scallop singular and M has a mighty appetite, one scallop would not do. Bravely she gave it a go and was very happy when three decently sized, expertly cooked blighters arrived prettily basking in a pale green slick of pea sauce. J and I chose from the specials menu. Her choice of fresh asparagus with Parma ham and a tomato dressing with parmesan was a picture on the plate – generous, but not over-facing and piping hot. She was more than happy. I chose frogs legs. Well I would wouldn’t I? I have eaten them often and despite the usual cries of “yuk!“ or “tastes like chicken“, I rather like them. At the Green Man the portion was huge, way beyond generous and I did get the feeling the chef was relieved someone had ordered them. Less elegant than my companions’ dishes, mine was exactly as expected, a plate piled high with frogs legs. There’s little disguising what they are, they look like frogs legs, so pretty is not an option. I piled in and sucked the sweet garlicky flesh off their tiny bones and mopped up the juices with excellent organic white bread. They were sticky, tasty and satisfying on every level.
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Welcome to Buddies, the south coast's only 24 hour restaurant! Situated opposite Brighton promenade, Buddies boasts a panoramic view of beach life and is near to all major venues, hotels, clubs and of course the historic Lanes area. Renowned for good food, friendly service and a varied menu - Buddies is waiting for you any time day or night. From the 'All Day Breakfast' to a large selection of pasta dishes, delicious pizzas, mouth watering steaks to the sea food platter, three course set menu £8.95 - Buddies has it all!
Students can get 20% discount on their full bill (must show student ID) latest 7 19
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LATESTHOTLIST
latest hot
LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS
RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials. They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256
The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty homecooked food, separate evening and lunch menus and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter, a central open fire roars. In summer, people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt. 59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com
The Gallery Restaurant Why not appreciate for yourself the brand new restaurant in the heart of Brighton’s lanes specialising in modern British food all within in a relaxed fine dining environment. All the food is sourced locally, (where possible) homemade and designed for the seasons by our a la carte head chef who has lead at the Dorchester in London, amongst
See more at thelatest.co.uk other leading London restaurants. The restaurant boasts a friendly yet casual environment that offers that little bit more all at very reasonable prices. 28 East Street, Brighton. 01273 773327 www.thegallerybrighton.co.uk
Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight, plus a wine list full of treats without being expensive. Make the most of the terrace when the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat. 1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555, www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk
Sam’s of Brighton A brand new restaurant on the Kemp Town restaurant scene. Situated in the famous One Paston Place site, Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a free-range poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter. 1 Paston Place, Brighton, 01273 676222 www.samsofbrighton.co.uk
Santiago Restaurant Nestled between the two piers, Santiago Restaurant offers quality food and friendly service in this fantastic location on Brighton beach. Occupying former fisherman’s arches and boasting three of the historic, original arched windows, the first floor indoor restaurant gives a cosy and intimate dining experience. Now serving an exciting new menu of modern European dishes with a Hispanic influence and delicious homemade desserts. On sunny days, enjoy watching the world go by while dining on their sun terrace overlooking the beach, or in the evening come and relax in the indoor restaurant where every table has a sea view. 143-144 Kings Road Arches, Brighton Beach 01273 710031 www.santiagorestaurant.biz
CHINESE Gars Restaurant Stunningly refurbished, this old Brighton favourite has attained a new lease of life. An exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of
style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room and enjoy the glamour of it all. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321 www.gars.co.uk
FRENCH The Arrogant Frog Not as expensive as you might think! A tempting à la carte and Xpress lunch is available all week. A ‘Plat du Jour’, at £9.45 including a drink, is the perfect way to treat yourself without breaking the bank. Relaxed alfresco dining is available in the garden; a sunny afternoon could not be better spent. Enjoy the ‘Early Frog’ from 67pm; a three-course meal at £13.95 is really the best value for your money! The true character of this delightful restaurant comes hopping to life in the evenings, and the mouthwatering menu is a comprehensive choice of the finest French cuisine. Children and families always welcome. 119 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721488, www.thearrogantfrog.com
Cocoa Cocoa is the cheeky new French patisserie found just down from Brighton train station on Queen’s Road. “A slice of Paris in the heart of Brighton”. All cakes, pastries, tartines and baguettes are lovingly prepared each morning on the premises by French gourmet pastry chef Julien Plumart. Front of the house is run by Jana Solfronk serving coffee, cinnamon hot chocolate or homemade lime ice tea, amongst other beverages. Intimate seating overlooking a mural of the roofs of Paris sets an atmosphere both relaxing and bohemian. For breakfast, lunch or an afternoon “tete a tete”, Cocoa is the choice for discerning Brightonians. As commented by a recent French visitor: ”Cocoa make the best croissant in Brighton, by far better than any I found in Paris.” 48 Queen’s Road, Brighton. 01273 777412
New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional home-made French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too! Daily evening menu at two courses £10.50, three courses £12.50 on weekdays; and two courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 on Friday and Saturday (ONLY LIMITED SPACES AVAILABLE DAILY). À la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6-10pm for last orders. 10-11 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 or 695415
L’Église
The Gallery Restaurant
L’Église is a traditional French restaurant in Hove offering classic cuisine prepared for contemporary tastes. Offering a fantastic à la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday together with daily specials like coq au vin and côte de bœuf for two. Locally sourced produce includes freshly caught fish of the day and an extensive Anglo-French farmhouse cheeseboard. There is also a selection of superb French desserts on offer such as tarte aux pommes and crème brulée. Enjoy the south-facing sun terrace with the brasserie lunch menu, Tuesday-Sunday 12-6pm, including croque madame, tarte a l’ognion, moules marinières and more.
And with a delicious French Sunday roast, this is true entente cordiale. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk, info@legliserestaurant.co.uk
INDIAN Chaula’s “The food of India, not just Indian food.” New on the scene in Lewes and unlike other Indian restaurants, Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes: bhindi kadhi, pista chicken, lamb rajasthani, and many more, and for its distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. There is also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. They have a buffet available 11am-3pm Mon-Sat, alongside a ‘light bites’ menu. It’s definitely a hot favourite with the people of Lewes! Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu which is utterly affordable with the signature setprice boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95. 16-17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135
THAI Chokdee A premium takeaway and informal eaterie next to Hove Station where you can enjoy real Thai cooking. Chokdee serves a variety of popular Thai dishes, including tom yum soup, pad thai (stir-fried noodles) favourite red and green curries and a range of freshly stir-fried dishes, with vegetarian options. There’s a selection of home-made starters priced from £3.95. A plate of mixed starters is good value at £8.95 and includes chicken satay, Thai fishcakes, mini spring rolls and mee krob noodles. Main courses include a good selection of vegetarian, duck and seafood dishes, and are made to each individual order using authentic Thai ingredients such as holy basil, kaffir lime leaves and galangal, coconut milk and chillis. Chokdee is licensed, with wines, saké and Thai beers. Open Monday to Saturday, for lunch and in the evening. 98 Goldstone Villas, Hove 01273 720370 www.chokdeethai.co.uk
Sabai The Thai word ‘sabai’ means comfortable, relaxed and chilled – precisely the way you’ll feel when you dine or have a drink with us. Filled with stylish, genuine Thai
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Santiago Restaurant furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. Browse our extensive menu of unique Sabai dishes, while sampling a cocktail or a bottle of wine from our comprehensive wine list. Try our gastronomic Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – many of which are grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners back in Thailand. Come and enjoy – or as they say in Thailand: “Sanuk”! 165-169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030 www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com
Sawadee The Thai restaurant that people love for parties and celebrations because they always give the best of times. And why not, as this well-priced restaurant pleases repeatedly with dishes we have all grown to love, and new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients, such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great sliced beef salad. 87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk
COFFEE SHOPS Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with greattasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries. A place where customers are attended to by a dedicated team of the very best baristas, whose driving motivation is to provide the ultimate ‘coffee experience’. Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views. Everyone can find a place to sit and sip, get wrapped up in a good book, take advantage of the free Wi-Fi or just relax. Spinelli Coffee is located in the heart of Kemp Town Village, just off the corner of St George’s Road and College Road. MonFri 8am-6pm, Sat 8:30am-6pm, Sun 9am-5pm. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
Moksha Caffe Brighton Moksha is Brighton’s ultimate independent café, with their own blend of locally roasted coffee made by highly trained
baristas. They have an excellent range of homemade cakes and sandwiches all made on site with favourites like battenburg, quiches and gluten-free options like pistachio and orange biscotti. Moksha is not your usual high street coffee shop with its spacious interior and the works of local artists. They are child friendly, have disabled access and free WIFI. Now open late Thur/Fri/Sat offering free aperitivos with any bottle of wine and 2-4-1 cocktails from 5–7pm. Located opposite St Peters Church and only a stones’ throw away from Brighton Station. Moksha Caffe, 4-5 York Place, Brighton, 01273 248890, www.mokshacaffe.com
BRUNCH Home café Home by the arch at Queens Park, serves long, lazy brunches, delicious lunches and homemade cakes and treats. From pancake stacks dripping in maple syrup to eggs Benedict and locally roasted espresso coffee. If you've missed lunch or are in need of a late breakfast, we always have something to tempt you at Home. It's all in our name. At Home you will receive a warm welcome and quality homemade food sourced locally. We have a fully licensed bar, and make a killer bloody Mary, the perfect accompaniment to any brunch. Private parties catered for daytime and evening. Open seven days a week 10am– 5pm 32 Egremont Place, Brighton, BN2 OGA, 01273 674456 www.homebrighton.co.uk
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BARS Koba Bar and Club Koba hosts a happy hour in the front bar between 5-7pm all week. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list, and of course, champagne for special occasions (or just for the love of it). The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. To book your private party, reserve your guestlist or to run through some ideas please contact: Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com
A date to remember 23rd September If you would like to advertise your business in our wedding feature then please call to reserve your space. Call Marie on 01273 818150 Ext 102 or email: marie@thelatest.co.uk
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ANDREW KAY LITE
Top tapa Andrew Kay slips into Moksha and is more than impressed Having outed myself as a cake lover I find myself drawn to confectionery of all kinds, which is how I found myself slipping into Moksha, just across the road from a very sad looking St Peter’s church. I drive past Moksha almost every day on my way to the office, but until now had not stopped. More fool me. For some reason I had got it into my head this was just another corporate coffee chain serving 32 kinds of hot beverage, alongside shrink-wrapped sandwiches and muffins. I could not have been more wrong. For starters Moksha serves excellent coffee, roasted locally to their own blend. I ordered a much needed kickstart of a double shot espresso and was not disappointed. The coffee was rich, almost oily with an intense flavour and a thick ‘cream’ on top. It was also piping hot, a failing of so many lesser baristas. With it a glass of iced sparkling mineral water. In Italy and Spain no self-respecting joint would fail to deliver a small glass of iced water with an espresso. As for food, well sandwich bar this is not. They do create a range of delicious fresh sandwiches, in a variety of breads; there is always a selection prepared and ready to go for those on a tight schedule, whilst those with longer to spend can order something bespoke. It was early evening when I popped down and their menu of light savoury dishes had just been put into play. Now licensed you can go along and enjoy a glass or a bottle of wine, a cocktail or a beer and with it indulge in a few dishes of savoury nibbles. I tried a mixed platter that came with olives, chorizo, empanadas, boquerones, delicious spinach and feta muffins, white bean and mint paté, pickles and toasted ciabatta. I also tried the meatballs and cooked chorizo. Well top marks for the best tapa I have
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had in Brighton for some time. Brilliant homemade meatballs, and cooked sausages that taste as they do in Spain. I could have had homemade quiche and salad, all baked on the premises and I left no room for their wonderful cakes, including a homemade Battenburg, but I did take away a slice of banana and toffee and it is first class (I’m eating it right now).. The standard of the food here far surpassed my expectations and I suspect I will be a regular in the future. They will currently give you a free platter – similar to the one I had – with every full bottle of wine ordered. With house wine at £10.95 that has to be the bargain of the moment. And cocktails are two-for-one between five and seven. Open late Thur/Fri/Sat offering free aperitivos with any bottle of wine and 2-4-1 cocktails from 5–7pm. Moksha Caffe, 4–5 York Place, Brighton, 01273 248890, www.mokshacaffe.com
If you would like to comment on this story please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk
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latest listings Your weekly guide to what’s on
26 August – 1 September
Under review Here’s our round up of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.thelatest.co.uk The Treason Show
songs satirising the events of the past month. The first half kicked off well, with some good sucker punches and clever comments. Keeping the sketches short worked well, entertaining and moving on. The songs were performed beautifully, especially Pip Henderson’s soaring rendition of the secret thoughts of Jacqui Smith. The second half sagged as the sketches were longer and leant more towards aggression and away from humour. Komedia, 7 August ✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle
Alan Bonner Komedia Studio Bar played host to one of the most exciting nights of this year as Alan Bonner, Brightonbased singer/songwriter, launched his debut album Songs for the Heart Shaped. The venue was alive with a full capacity audience all waiting with anticipation. The show was opened with support from Alex Thom who entertained the crowd with an amazing acoustic set, then it was time. With the stage set and a few red fairy lights draped across the piano the band took their places; then Alan appeared and wowed us
all. This is definitely an album to have. Alan’s influences shone through as any other rock star would – the audience loved it and I know that everyone left a little heart shaped. Komedia Studio Bar, 8 August ✌✌✌✌✌ Trudi Styles
The Treason Show With some delightful highs – singing savvy with a a song about Brighton Pride – and some slightly tedious lows – some excessively lengthy sketches in part two – this was a mixed bag of sketches and
HOT REVIEW OF THE WEEK Zippos Circus There is nothing like a proper circus big top, the smell of popcorn and sawdust, candyfloss on sticks, the sense of fun, mixed with discipline and hard work. You buy your programme from an ordinary-looking
girl and catch a glimpse of glitter under her coat. Minutes later she will be performing on the trapeze. Zippos ringmaster Norman Barrett, celebrating 60 years in the ring, has perfect comic timing – his own act with his performing budgies is always a favourite – and Spanish clown Pepino works as a comic foil. But this year’s special hit was Yvo and his performing dog – the cutest thing ever. On the way out you are handed ticket offers for your friends by the stars of the ring, almost transformed back in to normality, but still sparkling. Hove Lawns, 16 August ✌✌✌✌✌ Candy MacNamara
Tight Lip with special guest Joolz Denby Hammett Story Agency is on to a winner here: a monthly showcase of carefully chosen music and spoken word in the intimate surrounds of the Permanent Art Gallery. Twenty-One Crows opened proceedings with three songs of diminished minor chords bringing to mind Leonard Cohen. With an interlude of poetry by overly cerebral Peter Target and the more down-to-earth Gary Goodman, it was left to Orange Prize nominee and Bradford lass Joolz Denby to wrap things up. Her reading of short story Murder was everything spoken word should be – engaging, raw, intelligent and entertaining; her ear for dialect acute as well as artistic. Permanent Gallery, 15 August ✌✌✌✌
Tectonic Traces p24
24 Comedy The power of the personal touch
24 Art Tectonic Traces at the Phoenix Gallery
25 Stage Calendar Girls and Aristo at Chichester
26 Film Terence Stamp on his new film; listings.
Jan Goodey
28 Kids & Events Cold War Kids The curse of the second album is often a band’s undoing, though tonight, Long Beach retro-rockers Cold War Kids triumph against the odds. Undoubtedly the highlights are the emotional peaks of stunning debut Robbers and Cowards, but this show previewing songs from new album Loyalty to Loyalty has plenty of quality new efforts, notably the Stones/Primal Scream-esque stomp-along ‘Something Is Not Right With Me’. New material veers slightly too close to trying to rock out in place of the brilliantly soulful early songs, though the sheer strength of song-writing and front-man Nathan Willett’s distinctive vocals seduce any doubters. A great return from a great band. Concorde 2, 12 August ✌✌✌✌
Fashion shows, tea dances and The Space
28 Books Account of mental illness in Fast Train Approaching
29 Music T’pau’s Carol Decker hits Eastbourne; news, gigs
33 Music & Club All the listings
35 Gay Will’s on the pull in Soho, news and lsitings
36 Television Dani on Cowell’s teeth; seven days of listings
Nick Aldwinckle
For complete and comprehensive listings go to thelatest.co.uk latest 7 23
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STAND-UP COMEDY
ART
A laughing matter
Marion Charles
Victoria Nangle explains why it’s all in making the performance personal and keeping up that eye contact Have you ever wondered why a comic’s best material is making you smile, is funnier and cleverer than the previous comic – who made you laugh out loud – but you’re still only smiling? When the audience becomes a ‘smiling crowd’ – appreciative, but not very vocal in this appreciation – you can find what was initially a very personable comic getting quite aggro. The aggro is only reasonable – they feel – considering the slight upon their act. It’s not so. It’s the same reason we very rarely laugh out loud at the telly when watching stand-up. There’s just no personal connection. Half the battle is in the performance, not just the material the performance is made up of. Without enthusiasm, conviction and most importantly eye contact with the audience there’s no connection – and with no connection there’s no empathy or a need to laugh out loud, like you would if a friend was telling you a funny story in the pub. Even with big name performers, playing at larger venues like the Dome or even the Brighton Centre, you’ll notice they look all around the crowd as they deliver their set. Jim Davidson, over in Worthing a couple of years ago, even had the Congress Theatre turn the house lights up so he could see every single member of the audience quite clearly.
“Scared of being picked on if you sit at the front? Just make sure you sit at least three rows back” Obviously, it’s not easy to make hundreds of people think you’re looking right at them and feeling a warm fuzzy glow – especially in the dark. Scared of being picked on if you sit at the front? Don’t be. Just make sure you sit at least three rows back from the very front and the stage maestros won’t be able to tell you from Adam. The bright lights are pretty blinding, which is why the front row always get the personal touch – the performers can’t see anyone else. So there’s the challenge – eye contact with people you can’t see. Tricky. But the payoff’s worth it. There are other tricks to get a personal connection with audience members. Shaking hands with everyone as they come in to the venue. Chatting to people at the bar before the show starts. Maybe even eavesdropping on other conversations so that you know what’s on their minds right now. It can be on yours too – showing how ‘naturally’ in tune you are with your crowd. Once the comic has the crowd on side (taking up the original illusion that a stand-up is just a member of the audience that’s got up on stage with a few ideas) they’ll be rooting for that comic – even if their material’s not quite as good as the last fella, ‘cause this guy’s one of ours’, he’s one of the crowd’s favourites regardless.
☺
Joshua Uvieghara
Paintings, drawings, mixed-media works and slide projections that challenge our perceptions by presenting alternative ways of seeing and interpreting visual cues. Familiar materials and images metamorphose into shifting, fractured landscapes, leaving the viewer free to explore the fissures and fault lines that open beneath their feet. Featured artists include Joshua Uvieghara, Dagmara Rudkin, Marion Charles, Paul Senior, David Parker and Trevor Simmons. Tectonic Traces, Phoenix Gallery, until 30 August.
ART LISTINGS Brighton Museum & Art Gallery
Permanent Gallery
Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 292882 Chinese Whispers: Chinoiserie in Britain 1650–1930 With loans from HM The Queen, national museums and private collections, ‘Chinese Whispers’ tells three centuries of stories through rare and iconic objects. Until 2 Nov On the Pull Explore love and attraction, tender romance and the call of the wild through music, film, paintings, pottery and postcards. Until 31 Aug
20 Bedford Place, Brighton Pentimenti Exhibition by graduates and staff of the Royal College of Art 2008 course. Until 31 August, Thurs, Fri & Sun 1pm–6pm, Sat 11am–6pm
Impure 13 Ship Street Gardens New ‘erotic’ gallery next to erotic boutique She Said that features over 40 local, national and international erotic artists. Until 31 August, Mon–Sat, 10am–6pm
Boxbird Crane Kalman
Stand-up wisdom: “My Dad says that jazz will never end. He’s right, it doesn’t.” Lee Hume
COMEDYLISTINGS
Tuesday 26
Saturday 30
Jim Davidson A chance to catch Jim’s latest show. Pavilion Theatre (Worthing), 7:45pm, £17.50.
Ken Dodd – Happiness Tour “I love nothing better than slaving over a hot audience”, Ken Dodd. The ticklemeister returns. Pavilion Theatre (Worthing), 7:45pm, £18/17
Thursday 28 Little Hair! Improvised Comedy A great night of stand-up comedy compared by Funny Women finalist Katy Schutte. Three And Ten, 8pm, £5.
Friday 29 Rabbit In The Headlights A great night of stand-up comedy compared by Funny Women finalist Katy Schutte. Three And Ten, 8:30pm, £6/5
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Tectonic
Sunday 31 The Maydays: Argus! The Musical A totally topical improvised comedy show with music, based on your cuttings from the local news on the day of the show. Komedia, 7:30pm, £10/7.
➧ For full listings go to latest7.co.uk/listings
38 Kensington Gardens, Brighton, 01273 697096 Jeff Divine: Surfing’s Golden Age: The 70s Kodachromes Images from the golden age of surfing – when it was still underground Until 31 August, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 10:30am–4:30pm
14 St Johns Road, Hove, 01273 734295 New gallery space in Hove that specialises in limited edition and original art works from illustrators, painters and printmakers. Open sporadically throughout the year To arrange a private viewing please contact the gallery direct on 01273 734 295 or email hello@boxbird.co.uk.
De La Warr Pavilion
Phoenix Gallery
Bexhill-on-Sea 01424 229111 Nathan Coley Solo show from this Turner Prize shortlisted artist, exploring our relationship to political borders and limitations, religious frontiers and ideals, and investigating how these ideas change over time. Until 21 September, Mon–Sun 10am–6pm
10–14 Waterloo Place, Brighton, 01273 603700 Tectonic Traces With work by Joshua Uvieghara, Dagmara Rudkin, Paul Senior, David Parker, Trevor Simmons, Marion Charles. Until 30 August, Tues–Sat 11am–5pm
Ink_d Gallery 96 North Road, Brighton, 01273 645299 Pinky: Love Is The Drug New paintings, prints and paper cuts, exploring the themes of dark and light. Until 28 August, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm
University of Brighton Grand Parade, Brighton, 01273 643010 3rd Dimension An exhibition of cutting-edge 3D Street Art sculpture. Ken Garland Photography exhibition of foreign matter found on a remote beach in County Donegal. Until 3 September, Mon–Sat 10am–5pm
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Aristo
Robert Lindsay to play Aristotle Onassis at Chichester
The world premiere of Martin Sherman’s play Aristo (based on material in the book Nemesis by Peter Evans) previews in the Minerva Theatre from Thursday 11 September in the final show of Chichester Festival Theatre’s summer season. Robert Lindsay plays tycoon Aristotle Onassis in this play based on the last years of his life, including his complex connections and interwoven relationships with Jackie Kennedy (Elizabeth McGovern) and Maria Callas (Diana Quick), and his son Alexandros (Joe Marsh). Aristo is directed by Nancy Meckler, Artistic Director of Shared Experience. Aristo will be designed by Katrina Lindsay with lighting by Paul Pyant and music and sound by Ilona Sekacz. Aristo opens at Chichester Festival Theatre on 11 September and runs until 11 October. Tickets £19-£25 available from the Box Office on 01243 781312 or online at www.cft.org.uk
Hot dates Chichester puts Calendar Girls on stage The stage version of Calendar Girls will premier at Chichester Festival Theatre on Friday 5 September, starring Lynda Bellingham, Patricia Hodge, Siân Phillips, Gaynor Faye, Brigit Forysth, Julia Hills and Elaine C Smith as members of the WI who create a nude calendar to raise money for charity. Written by Tim Firth, who co-wrote the screenplay of the 2003 Miramax film, the story is
based upon true-life events. Calendar Girls follows the fortunes of a group of extraordinary women, all members of a very ordinary Yorkshire Women’s Institute who persuade each other to pose for a charity calendar with a difference. Calendar Girls opens at Chichester Festival Theatre on 5 September and runs until 27 September. Tickets £11-£33 available form the Box Office on 01243 781312 or online at www.cft.org.uk
STAGELISTINGS
Tuesday 26 August to Monday 22 September BRIGHTON DOME 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Yesterday World premiere combining daring athleticism and playful choreography. • 2 Sept, 8pm, £15/£12.50/£10 students
PAVILLION THEATRE 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Back to Broadway • 6 Sept, 7.30pm, £12.50/£10
CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Meredith Willson’s The Music Man American musical classic starring Brian Conley. • 26–27 & 30 Aug. Please call venue for show times, £12–£36 Collaboration A composer and writer embark on an artistic partnership. Minerva Theatre. • 26–28, 30 Aug. Call for show times Taking Sides By Ronald Harwood – to complement Collaboration. • 27–30 Aug. Call for show times/£ The Circle The conflict of romance versus
responsibility, set in 1921 Dorset. • 28–29 Aug. Call for show times/ £ Festival Cabarets • 29 August, 11pm, £10/£5 Calendar Girls • 5–6, 8–13, 15–20, 22–27 September, £11–£33, 7.30pm, (7pm 16 September) plus 2pm mat 13, 18, 20, 25, 27 September Aristo • 11–13, 15–20, 22–27, 29 Sept–4 Oct, 4, 6–11 Oct, please call for show times, £25/£13
EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Puccini Tosca • 5 September, 7.30pm, £18–£30 Bizet Carmen • 6– 7 September, 7.30pm Sat, 3pm Sun, £18–£30 Rockin’ On Heaven’s Door • 8 September, 7.30pm, £18/£16
If you would like to comment on these stories please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk
The Opera Babes • 12 September, 7.30pm, £19.50/£17.50
• 16–20 September, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm matinee Thu and Sat, £14–£24
EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE
WORTHING: ASSEMBLY HALL
01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Daisy Pulls It Off Life in an English boarding school with plucky heroine Daisy. Nostalgic and affectionate comedy. • 26–30 Aug, 7.45pm, Wed & Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 Absurd Person Singular • 2–6 September, 7.45pm, Wed, Thu & Sat mat 2.30pm, £13–£19.50 Anything Goes • 16–20 September, 7.30pm, plus Thu and Sat mat, £8.50–£11.50
01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Symphony Orchestra • 14 Sept, 2.45pm, £15–£23
WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Run For Your Wife • 2–6 Sept, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed, 2.30pm Sat, £13–£22 Murder With Love • 15–20 Sept, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed, 2.30pm Sat, £13–£22
WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Pinocchio Open air performance in Goff’s Park • Book through the Hawth. 11 Sept, please call for show times and prices
THEATRE ROYAL 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroya Noises Off • 4–13 September, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm matinee Thu and Sat, £16–£25 Le Grand Cirque
01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Five Star Swing • 28 Aug, 7.45pm, £13–£14.50 One Night In Vegas • 31 Aug, 7.45pm, £16/15 The Tiger Who Came To Tea • 1–2 Sept, 2pm and 4.30pm Mon, 11am and 2pm Tues, £10/£8.50 Roll Out The Barrel • 11 Sept, 2.30pm, £10 That’ll Be The Day • 14 Sept, 7.45pm, £18–£20 Puppetry of the Penis • 17 Sept, 8pm, £12.50–£15.50
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FILM 1himself. Following the recent death of his own
www.odeon.co.uk
0871 224 4007 Tuesday 26 ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING (12A) 11.15 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 11.00, 2.15, 5.30, 8.00, 8.45 GET SMART (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 6.45, 9.15 HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 12.30, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 12.15, 3.00, 5.00, 6.00, 9.20 MAMMA MIA! SING-A-LONG (PG) 8.30 THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) 3.45, 8.35 STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS (PG) 11.00, 1.20 WALL-E (U) 12.00, 2.30 WILD CHILD (12A) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 6.35, 9.15
Wednesday 27 ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING (12A) 11.15 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 11.00, 2.15, 5.30, 8.00, 8.45 GET SMART (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 5.30, 8.15 HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 12.30, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 12.15, 3.00, 5.00, 6.00, 9.20 MAMMA MIA! SING-A-LONG (PG) 8.30 THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) 3.45, 8.35 STAR WARS: CLONE WARS (PG) 11.00, 1.20, 6.15 WALL-E (U) 12.00, 2.30
WILD CHILD (12A) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 6.35, 9.15
Films showing Friday 29-Monday 1 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS (PG) STEP BROTHERS (15), THE STRANGERS (15) WILD CHILD (12A) CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILMS/TIMES
Tuesday 26
Saturday 30
HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 12.30, 3.00, 9.00 ROH: CARMEN (U) 6.00
HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 NIM’S ISLAND (U) 11.00
Wednesday 27
Sunday 31
HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 11.00, 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00
HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30
Thursday 28
Monday 1
HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00
HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 IN THE NIGHT GARDEN (U) 11.00
Friday 29
CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILMS/TIMES
HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00
www.cineworld.co.uk
0871 200 2000
Wednesday 27 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 12.20, 3.50, 7.20, 9.00 GET SMART (12A) 10.40, 1.20, 4.00, 6.40, 9.30 HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 11.45, 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 6.45, 9.20 MAMMA MIA! SING-A-LONG (PG) 12.00, 2.40, 5.20, 8.00 THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) 12.10, 3.00, 5.35, 8.20 STAR WARS: CLONE WARS (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00
WALL-E (U) 10.50, 1.15 WILD CHILD (12A) 11.00, 1.40, 4.15 YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN (12A) 3.40, 6.20, 9.10
Thursday 28 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 12.20, 3.50, 7.20, 9.00 GET SMART (12A) 10.40, 1.20, 4.00, 6.40, 9.30 HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 11.45, 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 6.45, 9.20 MAMMA MIA! SING-A-LONG (PG) 12.00, 2.40, 5.20, 8.00 THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) 12.10, 3.00, 5.35, 8.20 SEX AND THE CITY: THE MOVIE (15) 11.00 STAR WARS: CLONE WARS (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00 WALL-E (U) 10.50, 1.15 WILD CHILD (12A) 11.00, 1.40, 4.15 YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN (12A) 3.40, 6.20, 9.10
Films showing Friday 29–Monday 1 HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) STEP BROTHERS (15), THE STRANGERS (15) WILD CHILD (12A) CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILMS/TIMES
WORTHING CINEMA 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Tues 26–Thurs 28 August
Fri 29 August–Mon 1 September
WILD CHILD (12A) 1.30, 4.30, 7.30 (Weds, Thurs)
KUNG FU PANDA (PG) 10.15 (Sat), 1.30, 3.45
Tues 26 August- Mon 1 September
Fri 29 August–Mon 1 September
GET SMART (12A) 2.00, 5.00, 8.00
MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY (PG) 7.30 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILMS/TIMES
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ANGUS, THONGS AND PERFECT SNOGGING (12A) 11.15 THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 11.00, 2.15, 5.30, 8.00, 8.45 GET SMART (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 5.30, 8.15 HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 12.30, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 12.15, 3.00, 5.00, 6.00, 9.20 MAMMA MIA! SING-A-LONG (PG) 8.30 THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) 3.45, 8.35 STAR WARS: CLONE WARS (PG) 11.00, 1.20, 6.15 WALL-E (U) 12.00, 2.30 WILD CHILD (12A) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 6.35, 9.15
01273 626261
THE DARK KNIGHT (12A) 12.20, 3.50, 7.20, 9.00 GET SMART (12A) 10.40, 1.20, 4.00, 6.40, 9.30 HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (12A) 11.45, 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 6.45, 9.20 MAMMA MIA! SING-A-LONG (PG) 2.40, 5.20, 8.00 THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR (12A) 12.10, 3.00, 5.35, 8.20 SEX AND THE CITY: THE MOVIE (15) 11.00 STAR WARS: CLONE WARS (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00 WALL-E (U) 10.50, 1.15 WILD CHILD (12A) 11.00, 1.40, 4.15 YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN (12A) 3.40, 6.20, 9.10
New releases reviewed
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www.picturehouses.co.uk
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7 Selects
Mamma Mia! Sing-along Version (PG) Director: Phyllida Lloyd The film adaptation of the musical based on the music of Abba makes a welcome return with added singalong fun. A young girl spends 90 minutes trying to find her real father while singing along to ‘Dancing Queen’, ‘Mamma Mia’ and other pop hits by the Swedish supergroup. Meryl Streep plays the kooky mum,
while Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgård and Pierce Brosnan play the potential fathers. The music is great, the actors joyfully willing, and the film itself a guilty not-so-subtle treat. Abba and their camp pop theatrics have never been so sinfully indulged. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Craig Driver
Sex and the City (15)
Dir: Michael Patrick King Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda make their big-screen outing in this highly anticipated if oddly flat movie. After six series of small screen adventures the middle-aged, sex-mad quartet opt for one last hurrah as they continue their perpetual worries in New York. Carrie is engaged to Mr Big, and the story focuses on their tiresome move towards marriage. Fun for sure but when the sexual politics
are so contrived it’s difficult to truly care. Catch this final one-off screening if you dare. Showing at Cineworld
In The Night Garden (U) To celebrate the release of In The Night Garden: Hello Tombliboos, the DVD introducing the excitable, knockabout pepper-pot toys from the BAFTAwinning In the Night Garden, Duke of York’s are screening episodes on the big screen on Monday 1 September. These exclusive screenings take place ahead of the release of the DVD on 8 September. Tickets are free but must be reserved in advance and are available on a first-come, first-served basis. Just email Tombliboos@bbc.com or call in the cinema to book to attend this sure to be busy and fun early morning event. Showing at Duke of York’s
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Stamp of quality Terence Stamp talks to Latest 7 about his role in the comedy Get Smart and fighting Superman How much fun was the role and what was it was that attracted you to it? Me? I’m always rather flattered when I get approached about doing funny stuff. I guess it’s just unusual, when someone is devastatingly good looking, wise and sexy that people think I can do comedy. I was very naive. I didn’t know about Get Smart. I guess I just didn’t see it and so when I went into meet with the production team, it was just a chat. I hadn’t seen the script and I didn’t know anything about it and when it got serious I did the research. I just thought that it was one of those characters that I could do something with, someone who is rather pretentious and looks down his nose at everyone. Something I could get some fun out of. In truth it was just such a great troupe, a great team. So I had a lot of fun doing this even though I had to make a fool of myself, which I don’t really like. What other roles are you working on? Tom Cruise and I were trying to blow up Hitler in Berlin for Valkyrie. That took a long time and then I’ve just finished a project called Yes Man with the wonderful Jim Carrey and although I’m very tired, it was a wonderful week to work with him. He’s on fire all the time. The film is based on the Danny Wallace book where he set himself the task of saying ‘Yes’ to everyone and everything he encountered. It’s a straight out comic film. So Valkyrie is next with Tom Cruise, or are you finished? I’m finished, but the opening has been postponed. Do you know what a rave is? I've been invited to a Cruise party, but it’s like a rave. I don’t know the address. It’s such a good film and I’m just lucky to be in it. Eddie Izzard’s in it as is Bill Nighy so we had a very strong British contingent on set. All the fans still get very excited about your General Zod role in Superman. How big a film is that for you still to this day? There are certain films that change your life. I hadn’t worked for about ten years when I got the offer for Superman and I was very nervous because it was apparent that they just wanted the ugly. I had the feeling that they were just going to light me ugly and dress me up in the ugly stuff. I had a friend who was a Baron, a Dutch Baron. He was a very wise guy and a bit old. I said that I was having doubts about this and he said,
Also showing… A quick look at what’s on this week The Dark Knight (12A) Dir: Christopher Nolan The only real contender for Indy’s crown of most anticipated blockbuster this year is, of course, the return of Mr Bruce Wayne, A.K.A Batman. Christopher Nolan returns to helm the sequel to his stunning super-hero reboot Batman Begins with Heath Ledger creeping out Christian Bale, in the role he’ll be remembered for as none other than Batman’s arch-nemesis The Joker. A stellar cast bolsters proceedings with Michael Caine as butler Alfred, Aaron Eckhart as conflicted D.A Harvey Dent, Gary Oldman as Chief Gordon and Maggie Gyllenhaal as love interest Rachel Dawes. Ledger’s tipped for an Oscar for his haunting turn in the role rumoured to have pushed him over the edge before his tragic demise, so expect queues around the block for this classy comic-book adaptation. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Hellboy II: The Golden Army (12A) Dir: Guillermo Del Toro Mike Mignola’s cult comic book anti-hero makes a welcome return to the big screen.
“You shouldn’t really have doubts about it because for loads of kids Superman movies will be the first movie that they ever go to see, and by the time they grow up there will be more people who want to be like Zod than Superman. So you really shouldn’t worry about it. You should just be as ugly and horrible as possible.“ It kind of came to pass. I’m trying to think of a funny example. We didn’t have a bathroom when I was a boy and so I became a clean freak very early on and if I can get into a steam bath I do, especially after a jet flight. So I was taken to a steam bath in New York and I walked in and I undressed and it was just all guys and I said to somebody, “Where are the loin cloths?“ He said, “They’re at the front.“ It was a very little loin cloth, like a little towel and a lot of guys in a steam bath, they go there to be nude, and anyway I’m walking back towards the steam and I see in front of me three enormous tough guys and they’re just kind of staring at me. I revert to my East End street mode and I walk straight towards them and as I got close, one of the guys said, “Are you the Zod guy?“ I said, “Smile when you say that!“ Then there were these three big grins. So whenever I see big fierce guys staring at me I know that they recognise the General.
direct the eagerly anticipated film versions of The Hobbit, so catch an early glimpse here of his take on mythology. Showing at Odeon, Cineworld, Duke of York’s Kung Fu Panda (PG) Dir: Mark Osborne, John Stevenson When clumsy panda Po (Jack Black) appears to have all the markings of ‘The Chosen One’, the Kung Fu masters must train him before it is too late. Dustin Hoffman plays Po’s reluctant teacher, Angelina Jolie as Master Tigress and Jackie Chan as Master Monkey. While probably nowhere near the league of Wall-E, this CGI animation is still lushly-presented and witty. Showing at Odeon
Looking to continue the trend of big-budget super-folk blockbusters getting better by the second film, The Golden Army pits Big Red (Ron Perlman), Liz (Selma Blair) and Abe Sapien (Pan’s Labyrinth’s Doug Jones) against a whole horde of mythical beasties. With the huge success of Mexican director Del Toro’s fantasy horror Pan’s Labyrinth, he’s been given free reign for his impressively out-there imagination to run wild. Del Toro’s set to
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (12A) Dir: Rob Cohen It might be argued that what with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’s long-awaited emergence, the time’s just right for another installment of this Indy-esque series. Brendan Fraser returns as adventurer Rick O’Connell, as does John Hannah as his cliché bumbling Brit brother-in-law. however, original director Stephen Sommers has jumped ship, replaced strangely by the director of The Fast and the Furious, and the action’s transported to China. Martial arts king Jet Li replaces Arnold Vosloo’s Egyptian baddie as
ancient Chinese Emperor Qin, set on ruining the O’Connell family’s holiday. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Wall*E (U) Dir: Andrew Stanton Pixar hit paydirt again with this lovingly rendered cross between 70s eco-sci-fi Silent Running and E.T: The Extra-Terrestrial. The CGI animation giants could have easily opted for another re-run of the cutesy Toy Story formula, but instead go for this admittedly still cutesy, but ultimately meditative love story. Ben Burtt voices the titular cleaning robot (though there’s barely a word) charged with sorting out a polluted Earth after humanity’s jumped ship. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Wild Child (12A)) Dir: Nick Moore Julia Roberts’ niece Emma continues on her path toward the kind of megastardom of Auntie Julia with this teen-chick-flick. Seemingly a cross between the caustic Mean Girls and schmaltzy Princess Diaries, Roberts plays Yank brat Poppy, who is sent by her despairing father (Aidan Quinn) to a posh British girls’ school. Needless to say there’ll be sub-Friends stereotyping galore in this bubblegum rites-de-passage comedy. Showing at Odeon, Cineworld and Worthing Nick Aldwinckle
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For complete listings go to thelatest.co.uk
EVENTSHIGHLIGHT
Write club Rachel Pegg reviews one man’s autobiographical account of a journey in and back out of mental illness
Fashion Show For a sneak preview of some new collections coming to Brighton retailers this autumn then make your way to East Street this Sunday 31 August. The show will demonstrate the key trends that are coming to stores this winter and experts will offer guidance – in true Trinny and Susannah style – on the right clothes for your body shape. Participating retailers include: Hugo Boss, Simultane, FCUK, Hobbs, Badger and Gresham Blake. East Street Fashion Show, Sunday 31 August, from 2pm. Free.
Tea Dance If you love to dance, then join the celebrations in Jubilee Square this Saturday 30 August. Join Ragroof Theatre and waltz, tango or foxtrot away the afternoon. Absolute beginners and experienced dancers alike are welcome, with the aim to get the world to dance – well, the whole of Jubilee Square anyway. There’s free dance lessons for beginners by Dorothy’s Shoes. Ragroof are highly trained and experienced in giving quality performances indoors and out. Their productions involve beautiful period costumes, authentic music and dance steps to create an authentic atmosphere. Tea Dance, Saturday 30 August, Jubilee Square, Jubilee Street, Brighton, 1–5pm.
The Space The next Space (Southern Performance and Creative Energies) takes place Tuesday 2 September at Latest Musicbar (formerly Joogleberry Playhouse). Guest speakers include Miranda Sawyer, award-winning journalist, writer and broadcaster, and Mark Borkowski, one of the UK’s leading PR figures. An event for inspiring others, meeting like-minded people and essential networking. The Space, Tuesday 2 September, 8pm, Latest Musicbar.
If you have ever wondered what it feels like to lose your mind, Fast Train Approaching will tell you. In this autobiographical account of mental illness, Steve Walter invites you to accompany him on a disorienting journey through a period when he lost all sense of place, time and self. In 1997 Walter had a catastrophic breakdown, which landed him in Ticehurst mental hospital. For weeks he had become increasingly incoherent and ended up suffering delusions and schizophrenic symptoms. After four weeks he recovered enough to go home. But in May 1999 he suffered a second breakdown which led to him being in hospital for three weeks. He spent a further eight days in hospital in 2002 and four days in 2004. Walter has since stabilised thanks to psychotherapy and medication and has opened up his experiences to promote understanding of mental health issues. In this year’s Brighton Festival Fringe at Komedia, he performed his first live show, reading extracts from his book and reciting poetry with live music from Steve Antoni. An ambassador for mental health, who has met Tony Blair, Walter approaches his live show and writing with courage and frankness that some people could find shocking but others will find intensely moving. On the back of the book, psychotherapist Jenny Bloomer says: “I hope that Fast Train Approaching will be a tool that can be used to help erode the stigma that continues to surround mental illness.“ In fact, to think of it as some kind of self help or campaigning book doesn’t do it justice. Walter is a superb prose writer who, despite the personal content, creates a remarkable tale that draws you in with dramatic tension and doesn’t let go. The text flits from scene to scene, spinning the reader around in confusion. One moment we are seeing through Walter’s eyes as an environmental health inspector at an abattoir, the next we are walking past Westminster Abbey or in a scene from Walter’s childhood. He writes in the first and third person, in poetry and prose, pouring out his sometimes illogical stream of consciousness. While Walter in the book is out of control, Walter the narrator knows what he’s doing. We look back with humour and hindsight on times when Walter loses it all – when he asks if a stranger at a service station also has a chip in his head and when he hears messages in the news and on the train: “other people in the carriage are making indirect references to me“. It’s not all frightening – sometimes the bipolar nature of Walter’s illness makes him feel as if he can move mountains or think he’s God. His description is extremely vivid, and when he describes sitting memorised for ages by the hairs and veins on his arms, it made me think of Aldous Huxley, when he was fascinated by the creases of his trousers in Doors of Perception. This is that kind of book – one that uses powerful narrative to take you on a trip into the recesses of the mind. I couldn’t put it down.
EVENTSLISTINGS
BOOKSLISTINGS
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Thursday 28 August
It’s So Nice To Be Beside The Seaside Traditional Punch and Judy, jazz bands, face painting, workshops and giveaways for kids. Brighton Marina, free. From 11am.
Friday 29 Sussex Food and Drink Festival Celebrating all things foodie, chef demos, children's activities, plus evening ‘Ale at Amberleys’ festival with over 40 real ales. Amberley Working Museum, 10am–5:30pm. Also 30 and 31 Aug, (10am–5.30pm). What Lies Beneath Poetry, music and
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storytelling with Kay Walton, Mike Parker and friends. The Foundry, 8pm, £6.
Saturday 30 Tea Dance Join Ragroof Theatre for the Waltz or Foxtrot, sultry Latin or swing. Free beginners classes. Jubilee Square, 1pm–5pm Tracking Round the Railway Land Walk with John Parry and Chris Drury. The Foundry, 2pm–4pm, free.
Philip Carr-Gomm Britain’s pre-eminent expert on Druidry launches his latest book Sacred Places taking in spiritual locations from Stonehenge to the Pyramids and Rennes Le Chateau. Borders Brighton, 12pm, this is a free ticketed event limited to 50 spaces.
Thurs 28 August and Sun 31 August Workshops Week Get creative with writing and craft workshops. Borders Brighton, 2pm.
Sunday 31 Unique Brighton Fashion Show Sneak preview of new collections including FCUK, Badger and more. East Street, 2pm, free.
To feature in kids email editorial@thelatest.co.uk
Saturday 30 August Critical Aid for professional writers Get advice on writing poetry from University of
Sussex poetry tutor Brendan Cleary. The reknowned Irish poet will read mentees’ work in advance of a two hour mentoring session. Organised by The South, www.thesouth.org.uk. Brighton Writers Centre, two hour slots, £150.
Saturday 30 August Joshua Raven The local author promotes his latest novel, 5fingers: Initiation, a supernatural thriller aimed at older teens and young adults, Borders Brighton, 12pm.
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latest music ★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★
NEWS Free NME Up until the end of September Club NME will be free every Wednesday night – a good move as the esteemed/controversial publication and growing media brand relies heavily on students and their cash. So, take advantage, check out some of the hyped talent including Sparkadia, and The Locarnos.
Endless Summer The sun has barely had his hat on all summer, but we live in hope, as do The Brighton Beach Boys who have bagged a monthly residency at the Hanbury Club called (inappropriately) Endless Summer. Still, actor and musician Ralph Brown leads his band of superb musicians through a selection of choice Beach Boys, Beatles and other classic music from the last century with special guests adding to the abundant harmonies and melodies. Brighton Beach Boys: Endless Summer – The Live Sessions, 1 September (and the first Monday of each month thereafter), The Hanbury Club.
Super trouper Carol Decker, singer in eighties pop legends T’Pau, plays a charity concert in Eastbourne in September. Nick Aldwinckle spoke to her 80s Live! is a new one day event taking place in Eastbourne’s Winter Garden on Saturday, 13 September. In aid of the Muscular Dystrophy Campaign, the event sees a host of eighties stars, including T’Pau, Katrina of Katrina and the Waves, Curiosity Killed The Cat, Sonia, Stephen Singleton of ABC and Sigue Sigue Sputnik, take to the stage to raise funds and awareness of the chronic muscle disease. As well as the main performers, there’s an ‘Acoustic Café’ with local acts and a ‘Silent Auction’ with a Fender Telecaster guitar signed by the Arctic Monkeys up for grabs. Latest 7 met T’Pau’s Carol Decker. So, how’s it going? I’ve been doing loads of shows. I did an Ascot race meet last week, where I met Frankie Dettori, which was fun. I’ve been recording solo, not that anyone would know! I’ve actually got a few tunes out under my own name: one called ‘Just Dream’, which I wrote with Ronnie Rogers who did T’Pau stuff with me 20 years ago, it’s more of a dance record than the older tunes. The second one is a dance version of Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believing’, which I did with an act called Lazy Grace. Do ‘China In Your Hand’ requests annoy you? Not anymore! I used to resent being defined by one song, but then I came to the conclusion that it’s a great song. You know – what are you moaning about? At least people remember you
and you’re still working. I think people only really want the eighties for me. When I say to them ‘I’ve got a new song out’, they’re like ‘whatever’. Why are you doing this Eastbourne concert? Well, it was a personal contact – an old friend called Maggie who was in two eighties bands (Swans Way and Scarlet Fantastic). She lives in the area, and we were on the same label, so she tracked me down. It’s a good cause and a day by the sea, so why not? I’ve got a fan who’s kept in touch who has it, so I know a bit about it. The aim is to raise awareness, raise funds and to have fun! No muscular dystrophy sufferers want it to always be grim – this is a fun way to raise funds. Any hope of a full T’Pau reunion? I doubt it. I think the keyboard player’s still propping up a bar somewhere in Wales slagging me off twenty years later! I’m friends with Ron Rogers who is my ex-partner. We were together for thirteen years and he was my co-writer in the band and we get together regularly. I don’t think any of us would want to get back together and I’ve learned to live without them. I’ve worked with many fine musicians and after the initial panic of ‘oh my god, who am I gonna work with?’ I suddenly realised there are an awful lot of good musicians out there. 80’s Live, Saturday 13 September, Eastbourne Winter Garden, www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk
UPCOMING GIGS
Martha Wainwright The youngest member of the music dynasty that includes brother Rufus and father Loudon brings her quality Americana-infused songbook to the town. Saturday 25 October, St George’s Church, www.seetickets.com
If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk
Blow Monkeys 9 September, Komedia Bad Manners 15 September, Concorde 2 Van Morrison 19 Sept, Dome British Sea Power 2 October, Corn Exchange Sam Sparro 3 October, Corn Exchange Art Garfunkel 6 October, Dome Seasick Steve 7 October, Dome Michael Bolton 6 October, Brighton Centre Stephen Stills 10 October, Brighton Centre Moody Blues 11 October, Brighton Centre Cajun Dance Party 13 October, Concorde 2 Does It Offend You 20 October, Concorde 2 Dr John 21 October, Dome The Hoosiers 25 October, Brighton Centre Martha Wainwright 25 October, St George’s Level 42 30 October, Dome Hot Chip 5 November, Dome
Motorhead 6 November, Dome Scouting For Girls 3 Nov, Brighton Centre Alphabeat 3 November, Concorde 2 Mercury Rev 11 Nov, Dome Katie Melua 11 November, Brighton Centre Cardiacs 17 November, Komedia Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds 23 November, Brighton Centre Nouvelle Vague 24 November, Corn Exchange Leonard Cohen 28 November,Brighton Centre Will Young 4 December, Dome Human League 5 December, Brighton Centre Neville Staple 6 December, Concorde 2 Jools Holland 6 December, Brighton Centre Status Quo 12 December, Brighton Centre Maddy Prior 15 December, Hove Centre
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030_LS387 music previews/Jaime
8/20/08
7:18 PM
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MUSIC
MUSIC
CLUBS
Jaime ‘til dawn
The Gutter Twins
Jaime Pettit has a good stab at Hector’s House happening Bad 4 U on Pride Weekend
The Gutter Twins The legendary pairing of former Screaming Trees frontman Mark Lanegan and ex-Afghan Whigs man Greg Dulli is truly one borne of the gutter, given both musicians’ dalliances with drugs and the darker side of life. Haunting, atmospheric rock with a shade of the blues. Tuesday 26 August, Komedia
The Develeski Trio Gypsy, Balkan and popular Eastern European tunes, featuring members of Brighton bands Hot Club de Belleville, Fanfara, The Matzos & Manjinga 7. Wednesday 27 August, Latest Music Bar Summer Music at St Mary’s The Church of St Mary De Haura in Shoreham hosts this fortnight of classical music, including piano and organ recitals, folk singers and more. Free of charge, though donations encouraged, this is a nice alternative to the mud, noise and mess of other festivals! All week, St Mary de Haura Church, Shoreham Biffy Clyro Now, we don’t usually feature instore performances here, but then again, the mighty Biffy Clyro don’t always come to town. Expect pared-down versions of the cult Scots’ classics and brand new single, ‘Mountains’. Thursday 28 August, HMV, Churchill Square Artrocker Night: Violet Violet + Ill Ease + Wet Dog This indie club night sponsored by the magazine of the same name combines live performances with all the usual club gubbins.
Clutch + Tant These noisy types have been around a while now, but like the troupers they are, they keep on touring and recording relentlessly. Check out this blistering blend of metal, southern rock and punk Thursday 28 August, Concorde 2 The Robot Heart Bewitching Brighton folktronica with a name perfectly illustrating their sound fusing electronic beats with mournful strings providing the raw human emotion coursing throughout. Friday 29 August, Cella (at Sanctuary Cafe)
Photos by: Rob DeBanks@Hectors House
The Spirit of Gravity This innovative night brings to Brighton the cream of experimental, interesting and general eyebrow-raising electronica from the UK and further afield. Never disappointing, always challenging. Tuesday 26 August, Upstairs at Three and Ten
Tonight, brilliant Brooklyn one woman grunge noise machine Ill Ease graces Water Margin. Thursday 28 August, Water Margin
Long banished is the alarm clock. All you need is a champagne breakfast followed by a 'knock off Nigel' bottle of vodka and lemonade, a day in a park and a hairdryer for a rude awakening. Hours after my pre-arranged meet my lightly toasted limb alerted me to the time..I’d passed out for hours, so after moisturizin my third degree burns I hyper vaulted to Hectors House! Whilst much of Brighton flounced in a ploom of glitter and false eyelashes I rolled up my top and got mucked in at the college boy house party . Hectors is a kicked up bar/pub with guest systems to blast a T-Rex like spin in your social pint. As I entered like a winded football pro to a backdrop of dirty drum 'n' bass rolled out by Electric Playboy residents, I smashed into my wayward Pete Doherty clone and the Fairy entourage. My neon yellow tutu was a little above and below the average dress which leaned towards an American Pie/Indie Band hook up but I headed to the floor none the less, and it wasn't long til the happy jumpin ritual had blasted all tops with sweat and drink. John Badger and Nerys represented the Electric Playboys as Mr original, Greg, had the 'traumatic' demand to jet off somewhere last minute for a massive gig! The final hours fade into a dream haze of Pride talks and plastic vodkas, and that guy who lost his baccy...The Electric Playboys deliver exactly what the tin says; a hard party with shelves of dirty dance from possibly the downright most real players in town. Back to the old alarm clock for Monday I guess.
The Searchers Worthing’s getting its fair share of musical legends performing live lately, what with Marty Wilde and the Wildcats and Val Doonican last week and now these Merseybeat favourites. Most famous for their covers of ‘Sweets For My Sweet’ and ‘Needles and Pins’, these veterans have sold in excess of 30 million records! Friday 29 August, Pavilion Theatre, Worthing. Black Lungs The new project featuring members of hardcore rockers Alexisonfire and Cancer Bats is distinctly more melodic than both other outfits. Still, fear not, as there’s more than the odd heavy riff to keep things pumping along nicely. Saturday 30 August, Audio The Warlocks Accomplished, atmospheric psychedelia from this LA band. With something of a cult following, some great songs and the ‘cosy’ surroundings of the Engine Rooms, this should be the ideal Saturday night. Saturday 30 August, Engine Rooms
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031_LS387 music_reviews jeff
8/22/08
8:42 AM
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MUSIC REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases Maturing with every release James Yorkston still flirts with the fringes of psychedelia within his genial folkiness. It’s sensitively textured music, full of lush arrangements, but with a sadness throughout. Lyrically When The Haar Rolls In features plenty of well-turned out phrases, while stylistically Yorkston gently mimics folk’s affectations. A tad over long, and generally of one tempo, Yorkston could have done with a bit off jollying up. Formerly known as Kingsomniac, Brighton’s The Splendour have just released their debut album Best Way To Make Money on their own label and via the guidance of music industry mentors the Independent Label Scheme. Full of spiky pop tunes with punk and ska overtones, the album reeks lyrically of failed and ‘difficult’ relationships. Introspective, intimate, sensual electro-folk steeped in melancholy and luscious romance, that’s what classically-trained cellist Michael Milosh does, and does beautifully. iii is a dreamscape full of soul, cerebral electronica and delicate beats. St Albans based Friendly Fires are a late contender for band of the year thanks to their ridiculously infectious, joyful and quite brilliant self-titled debut album. Dance-floor friendly, 80s new wave influences (particularly Duran Duran), a little bit of Hot Chip, a Alan MX smidgen of My Bloody Valentine and LCD, and an overriding epic feel will surely mark this lot out as ones to watch. Fresh from playing Brighton a few weeks ago, Hampshire electro singer-songwriter Alan MX releases debut album Warpsichord. An intriguing mixture of Patrick Wolf cybercrooning and The Postal Service glitchy feedback, Warpsichord is instantly striking. A vibrant digital pulse throbs throughout as Alan’s heartfelt vocals and endearingly quirky lyrics make this more than a simple dance track. As with Mr Wolf, simple, strong songwriting is key to the record’s success, and there’s no shortage of it on this energetic, impressive release which turns Rachael Sage out to be much more than the sum of its parts. New York singer-songwriter Rachael Sage and her band The Sequins owe a huge debt to the more wispy efforts of fellow US vocalist Tori Amos, going on the strength of her second album, Chandelier. Very similar in voice and general sound to Amos’ record The Beekeeper, Chandelier just about marks itself out as a different prospect with a few strong numbers. Unfortunately, though, this all too often remains a derivative, if undeniably skillful, effort.
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.latest7.co.uk/chart Or hear the full chart with Jeff and Nick on Radio Reverb, 97.2fm every Tuesday 4-6pm/12-2am Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10
★ 1 Jaybee – Sweet Savage ★ 2 ThePrjctMyhm – FreeForAll 3 Hardkandy – The Squeeze 4 Sherlock Bones – The Ugly Bugs Balls 5 sMs – I’m Sorry Dave 6 Portslade – Girls and Boys 7 The Woo!worths – Konichiwa (dem oh) 8 Caramel Jack – Curtain 9 Caramel Jack – We Could Build Skyscrapers 10 Tenek – State Of Mind Jaybee’s Antony and the Johnsons/Soft Cell style ‘Sweet Savage’ remains on top this week as the brilliantly heavy sounding trip-hop of ThePrjctMhym, laid back funk of Hardkandy and old fashioned soul sampling big beat of Sherlock Bones all make a first top five visit. Ambient electronic oddball sMs completes the top five classily. 11 Guerrilla Audio Another Life 12 Dates Thief 13 The Eric Experiment I Think It’s Impossible 14 Tractor Countdown Control 15 sMs Airport Dreaming 16 Jay Pulman Last Orders 17 The Mighty Rivals Something In My Way 18 Digitalis No Control 19 Cath O’Drae Mugged by the System 20 Death Cabaret Forlorn Hope 21 Cath O’Drae Sofageddon 22 Django Spears No Limit 23 Scribe-Tribe Freedom 24 Kiyomori None of the Above 25 Loc E Chemical Romance
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26 Cakeboy Damage featuring Frances Law 27 Without Warrant Superego 28 Abstrakt & Buzz Devil To Pay 29 Eminemmylou The Way I Am 30 Dance Paris Dance These Games 31 David Bolstridge Love is Only Sweet... 32 Glitters From Billy Holiday 33 Kovak Death in the Disco 34 Legs MC Push 35 Thoughts Collide I’ll Buy You a Megaphone 36 Electralounge South Of Normal 37 Without Warrant Stop the Machine 38 The Pulse Used In Part 39 Millsy Slug Music My Giddy Aunt 40 Ludwig Thoma Jun Jaded
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8/20/08
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033_LS387_music_listings
8/21/08
11:17 AM
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For complete listings go to thelatest.co.uk/7
MUSIC&CLUBLISTINGS 26 Aug-1 Sep Tuesday 26 Live Music Martin White Organ recital as part of 'Summer Music at St Mary's' festival. St Mary de Haura, Shoreham, 1pm, free Open mic Duke of Norfolk, 9pm, free The Gutter Twins The legendary pairing of Screaming Trees frontman Mark Lanegan and the Afghan Whigs' Greg Dulli works incredibly well. Excellent, atmospheric rock with a tinge of blues. Komedia, 7pm, £16 The Shoestrung + Blueprint + El Em En Oh Pee Age Early Stones enthusiasts supported by maybe the worst-named band ever. Prince Albert, 8pm, £3 The Spirit of Gravity: Acts TBC The always challenging, never disappointing monthly electronica night. Three And Ten, 8:30pm, £4/3 Bars and clubs Brighton Coalition Latin Fever. Latin music to get your juices flowing. 10pm–2am, free
Wednesday 27 Live Music All Sorts Live acoustic sessions with bands and solo performers. Juggler, 9pm, free Club NME: Citadels London alternative rockers more than a little influence by glam rock. Brighton Coalition, 8pm, £tbc The Develeski Trio Gypsy, Balkan and Eastern European tunes. Latest Music Bar (formerly Joogleberry Playhouse), 8pm, £5–£7 Fresh Acoustix Live acoustic showcase with bands. The Black Lion, 8pm, free Jay Brannan New York singer-songwriter akin to Jack Johnson or Ani DiFranco. Komedia, 7:30pm, £7 John Bruzon Piano recital as part of 'Summer Music at St Mary's' Festival. St Mary de Haura, 1pm, free Live Music TBC The Fiddler's Elbow, 8pm, free On Safari + Chrissy Fuel and the Flames Flaming hot (sorry) instrumental rock. Juggler Bar, 8pm, £tbc Open Mac Night Open mic night for electronic music, so bring your samplers and laptops and join in! Sidewinder, 9pm, free Open Mic night Hosted by Robin Coward Marlborough Bar & Theatre, 9pm, free Rory McLeod Lyrical one man band with tap shoes, harmonica, guitar, trombone and even spoons in his repertoire! Komedia, 7:30pm, £12/10 Bars and clubs Audio Supercharged 9th Birthday Warm-up Session 10:30pm, free. Contact venue for details
Edinburgh. St Bartholomew’s, 7:30pm, donations Mike The Mic + Daddy K 20s, 30s and 40s covers in a rat-scat style. The Pelham Arms, Lewes, 8pm, free Shofar Quartet Live dub and reggae. Bee's Mouth, 10pm, free Silky Moon Folk singers as part of 'Summer Music at St Mary's' festival. St Mary de Haura, 7:30pm, free Sofa Sessions Open mic night. Juggler Bar, 9pm, free Vision City Latest Music Bar (formerly Joogleberry Playhouse), 8pm, £tbc Bars and clubs Arc Dynamite Boogaloo. Pop 'n' krunk, indiefunk & electro junk with Dynamite Sal, Boogaloo Stu and guests. 10pm–3am, £3/1 Audio Mad For It. Indie 10:30pm–2:30am, free. Contact venue for details Honey Club Contagious. 2-4-1 Cocktails all night and selected drinks from £1. Classic House and Dance Anthems. Sexy R&B in room 2. 10:30pm–3am, £2/3
Friday 29 Live Music Big Girls Blues Band Blues and soul band. Latest Music Bar (formerly Joogleberry Playhouse), 8pm, £9 Carter Brown Brighton rockers singing about whiskey and being broke! The Victory, 8pm, free Joss Peach's Full Circle A Brighton Jazz Club event. Komedia, 8pm, £8/6 Martin Ward Part of 'Summer Music at St Mary's' festival. St Mary de Haura, 7:30pm, free Miller Anderson Rockin' blues night special with the man who's worked with Donovan, TRex, Mott The Hoople and Deep Purple. The Neptune, 8:30pm, free Rachel Fryer: Masquerade Piano performance with music hall and characters from Pierrot and Schumann. St Lukes Church, 7:30pm, £4–£6 The Robot Heart Excellent Brighton folktronica with the perfect name for their sound, fusing electronic beats with mournful strings. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 8pm, £5 The Searchers The veteran sixties stars who have sold in excess of 30 million records! Pavilion Theatre (Worthing), 7:45pm, £14.50–£16 So So Modern Arty upstarts paying their dues in the small venues on the way to the top. Freebutt, 7:30pm, £6.50 Bars and clubs Al Duomo InsideOut. Two sound systems, one
on the sun terrace and another in the bar. Disco, Funk, Chicago and Deep House will be supplied by Go Bang! & Contraband DJs throughout the night until the early hours, plus Johnny Loves House (Zapatilla Productions) playing a live set to really spice things up. 9pm–6am, free Concorde 2 Supercharged. 9th Birthday Party with Against The Grain Records! Krafty Kuts, Freestylers, Deekline & Wizard, Kid Kenobi (Australia), Adsorb. 11pm–4am, £11.50 Brighton Coalition Fidget. 11pm–3am, free Esca Balearic Jukebox. Eclectic Mix of Balearic Classics 7pm–2am, free Ocean Rooms Somewhere In The Universe There Must Be Something Better Than Man. Electro/Punk/Pop/Party 10:30pm–3:30am, £3/5 Pavilion Tavern Kick Out The Jams The best place to hang out and hear all the best new sounds from the latest indie chancers along with a staple diet of quality favourites. Pavilion Tavern, 10:30pm–3am, £3/4 Volks Dubpressure. Drinks promos - £1.50 on selected shots. 11pm–4am, £5/6. Contact venue
Saturday 30 Live Music Black Lungs The new project featuring members of rockers Alexisonfire and Cancer Bats. Audio, 7pm, £7.50 Local Heroes + October in Minnesota + Champ of the Day Blues, rock, reggae and beyond, or so the press release claims. Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free Martin Messant Singer, songwriter, poet and painter plays jazzy folk and lyric-centred stories of life and death. Three And Ten, 8pm, £5 Playgroup: Wide Eyed Order + Le Band Extraordinaire Ten piece blues swing band, with burlesque swing support, and, of course, DJs mashing things up good and proper. Hectors House, 8pm, free Raija Walker Piano recital as part of 'Summer Music at St Mary's' festival. St Mary de Haura, 7:30pm, free Supper Club: Develevski Band Gypsy, Balkan and popular Eastern European tunes featuring musicians from the Hot Club de Belleville, Fanfara, The Matzos and Manjinga 7. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £7–£10 The Warlocks Excellent, atmospheric LA psych-rockers. Engine Rooms, 7:30pm, £8/7 Too Darn Hot: Rocking and Rhythm 30s and 40s swing band start the Saturday night party time. Latest Music Bar (formerly Joogleberry Playhouse), 8pm, £5 Bars and clubs Audio Summer Of Lo. Lee Smith (Kliks), David Parr 10pm–4am, free Brighton Coalition Spunk. Free after 4am 11pm–8am, £8–£12 Esca . Deep, Sexy, Funky, Grooves- Contraband DJ's 8.30pm–2am, free Honey Club Seven Sins. Pumping House, Funky
House, Electro/ tech house. R&B 10:30pm–5am, £8–£12 Komedia Super Dynamite Boogaloo. Another night of cabaret antics from Boogaloo Stu & Dolly Rocket. Homage to 70s film Grease. Top notch pop and rock tunes from the ever reliable Ms Dynamite Sal. 10.30pm–3am, £6/8
Sunday 31 Live Music F*ck Gypsy Jazz with Quasimodo Quartet The natural progression of gypsy jazz. Bee's Mouth, 9pm, free Free Range Open mic night. The Fiddler's Elbow, 8pm, free Gypsy Swing Jazz Quartet Brian Powell's monthly jazz gig next to Blaker's Park. Cleveland Pub, 8pm, free Katy Setterfield as Dusty Springfield Top Dusty impersonator direct from Las Vegas. Worthing Assembly Hall, 7:30pm, £15–£16 Make Some Noise For Tibet Fundraiser for Tibet, though doubt they'll hear it over there. Prince Albert, 6pm, £3 Mike Davies A voice steeped in soul, blues and pop set upon a rhythmic guitar backdrop. Sidewinder, 7pm, free Simon and Sleeze Acoustic blues night. The Neptune, 8:30pm, free Summer Roast 'n' Jazz: Guests TBC Sunday roast and some laid back jazz. What could be better? Latest Music Bar (formerly Joogleberry Playhouse), 12:30pm, £10 inc full roast dinner Sunday Lunch Jazz: Burstow Octet Sunday lunch and some jazz. Nice. Ravenswood, Sharpthorne, 12pm, £tbc Sunday Soundz Brighton Coalition, 12pm, free Sunday Swing Jazz Acoustic swing and gypsy jazz duo. The Bristol Bar, 2pm, free Swing DeVille Gypsy jazz quartet. Cleveland Pub, 8pm, free Bars and clubs Ocean Rooms Blow The Electro Afterparty. Residents C De La Rosa, Arone and Vincent Manganaro playing the finest in electro house. 3:30am–8am, £5/6
Monday 1 Live Music H'Open Mic Night Like the name. With food offers and a performer happy hour. The Hope, 8:30pm, free Martin Harley Singer-songwriter playing mournful ballads to jazzy swings. The Greys, 8:30pm, £9 Bars and clubs Honey Club Disco Babe. 70s-90s Disco and indie anthems played all night long. All drinks £1.50 all night long. 10:30pm, £1–£3. Music by Nick Aldwinckle Clubs and Bars by Patrick O’Donnell
Thursday 28 Live Music Artrocker: Violet Violet + Ill Ease + Wet Dof Indie club night featuring brilliant US one woman grunge noise machine Ill Ease. Water Margin, 8pm, £5 Biffy Clyro The world-conquering Scots new grunge characters play an instore gig and sign copies of their new singles collection. HMV Churchill Square, 6pm, free Benefit Culture A fundraiser for the Cambodia Trust with live music. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 8pm, donations Clutch + Tant Genre fusing cult metallers with a fair dollop of southern rock and punk thrown into the mix. Concorde 2, 7:30pm, £12.50 Coalition Live Lounge: Mean Poppa Lean + Terracotta Skies + The Lounge Jazz Quartet Acoustic funk and jazz special of this live club night. Brighton Coalition, 10:30pm, free Five Star Swing with Simone from the Ivy Benson Orchestra Swing classics from the era of Benny Goodman, Glenn Miller, Frank Sinatra and co, with Simon from the acclaimed Ivy Benson Orchestra. Pavilion Theatre (Worthing), 7:45pm, £13–£14.50 Live Music TBC Duke of Norfolk, 8pm, free Live Music TBC The Fiddler's Elbow, 8pm, free Martyn Strachan Organ Recital Recital with the organist from Craiglockhart Parish Church,
➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory for details
Biffy Clyro, Thursday latest 7 33
034_LS387 gay news/will
8/20/08
3:19 PM
Page 2
LATESTGAY
See more at thelatest.co.uk
Brighton’s only weekly gay guide
William Tells
NEWS
Will Harris is tryng out the theory that it’s all in the eyes
Banana splits Two giant bananas sparked a massive search operation when they went missing from a Brighton nightclub. Cuddles and Lulu – icons of Wild Fruit, the gay institution at Tru in West Street, disappeared following the Pride finale party. DJs Kate Wildblood and Queen Josephine were eating breakfast at Buddies at 7am when they spotted the bananas speeding along the seafront. The pair managed to photograph the fruits in the arms of two unidentified guys, who looked pleased with themselves. The next day Kate and Queen Jo emailed their pictures to Wild Fruit organisers Aeon events The word went out that Cuddles and Lulu were missing and within hours Kate had set up a Facebook page which acquired 66 members. There were messages on realbrighton.com with sightings in the Queens Park area. Sean Chapman, from Wild Fruit, said: "We felt very upset as our bananas had become regular features at our Wild Fruit parties and are personalities in their own right, they were made by designer Jez Eaton and cost us a pretty penny.” He said hours of CCTV was scoured only to find two glass collecters helping themselves to the fruit. Tru asked them to return Cuddles and Lulu. He said: “As soon as our beloved nanas were home with their friends Trevor and Myra the glass collectors were ‘relieved’ of their jobs for such dastardly and thoughtless thievery!“ Sean said Cuddles, Lulu, Trevor and Myra would be spinning above happy Wild Fruit fans for the Let's Get Physical Party last Sunday. (24 August) He said: “It was a senseless and selfish thing to steal them and certainly not in the spirit of Pride, we are thrilled and immensely relieved to have them safe at home.“
Gay teams win gold Brighton athletes are celebrating bringing home a stash of gold medals. Brighton Lesbian and Gay Sports Society bagged enough trophies at the Gay Eurogames 2008 to make an Olympic team proud. Sally Cushing took top prize for golf, her second gold at a Eurogames event. Kate Whitmill from Out to Swim South won four golds and a silver. Teammate Phil Griffiths won two silver medals and Tony Mann brought home a silver for petanque. Martin Chalons-Brown, BLAGSS co-ordinator for Eurogames, said: “Walking as part of Team UK into the
opening ceremony arena, packed with over 6,000 LGBT folks and their supporters, was a real highlight for us all.“ Sally's victorious return was marked with further good news when she scooped the women's championship at the second annual BLAGSS Pride Golf Tournament at Pyecombe and Waterhall Golf courses. The men's championship was won by Ken Coales. Presenting the awards, BLAGSS golf coordinator Helen Woodcock-Downey said: "With 48 golfers taking part, our tournament is now as large as the Eurogames event and is fast becoming a highlight of the gay sporting calendar.“
Afterwards, I’ll reflect that my whole life has been building up to this moment. It’s August, Soho Pride, and I’m standing on the corner of Dean Street, intently scanning a crowd of check shirts and asymmetric fringes in pursuit of my target. In the background, Dizzee Rascal’s urban twang is underlain by the rhythmic crunch of plastic glasses beneath dancing feet – the soundtrack of yet another Pride afternoon drinking in the streets. Finally, I spot him. At over six foot six, he stands head and shoulders above the artfully-gelled hairstyles around him – an easy target. Taking a deep breath, I ready myself for first contact, and prepare to use the power that’s been hidden deep within me for all these years. A power that, up until now, I wasn’t even aware that I had. An innate force. My birthright. “Use the eye, Will,” warbles an ethereal voice from somewhere behind me. “Believe in the eye.” Ok, so I’m elaborating on the story a little bit. I’m no young Padawan, no Jedi in training, and that otherworldly voice urging me on is certainly not Obi-Wan Kenobi. It’s a lesbian called Maria and the only reason she sounds like that is that she’s drunk on too much Früli, but this afternoon she’s decided to do me a favour by mentoring me in the art of pulling strangers in the street.
“Because when you hold a stare with somebody …you’re making them the centre of your world. And there’s no greater compliment than that“ You see, my friend Maria has a theory that it’s actually very easy to pull people, so long as you don’t focus on the random chit-chat or cheesy chat-up lines that most people rely on. Instead, according to her, all it requires is two little words: eye contact. “The important thing,” she assures me, “is that, once you’ve caught the other person’s eye, you maintain that eye contact no matter what they do. Yes, they’ll probably look away, but nine times out of ten they’ll look back again, and that’s when you’ve got them hooked.” “Hooked,” I repeat, nodding intently. “Because when you hold a stare with somebody,” Maria is rhapsodising now, caught up in a world of the Früli’s making, “you’re making them the centre of your world. And there’s no greater compliment than that, is there?” “No greater compliment,” I murmur, staring into her eyes, leaning in closer, my lips parting. It’s not until I catch a whiff of the strawberry beer on her breath that realisation dawns. “You’re doing it to me right now, aren’t you?!” “You see,” she’s smug Maria now. “It’s as easy as that. You almost kissed a lesbian. Now let’s find you a man.” So that’s how I find myself standing nervously on a street corner in Soho, preparing to take the plunge into uncharted territory, armed with nothing save my boyish hope and a stare I’m seriously worried makes me look less ‘man of your dreams’ and more Marty Feldman. So is Maria right? Do the eyes have it? I’ll tell you next week…
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34 latest 7
If you have a story for Latest Gay pages please email news@thelatest.co.uk
035_LS387_gay listings
8/21/08
11:03 AM
Page 1
GAY
For full listings & venues go to thelatest.co.uk/7
GAYLISTINGS 26 Aug – 1 Sept
Legends
Star Inn The Return of Friday Bears Inc.. with guest DJs playing uplifting funky house and pop remixes. 8pm–1am, free. The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Alex Baker playing girly pop & handbag tracks all night long. 11pm–4am, free Ghetto (formerly Candy Bar) Popstarz. Indie anthems, alternative classics and current underground hits. 10pm, £tbc.
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Tuesday 26 Amsterdam Amsterdam Spice. Enjoy a curry, rice, poppadom and Cobra beer from £6.99 then a Bollywood movie! Bar Open 11am–11pm. Brighton Tavern City of Brighton Gay Men's Chorus. Bar open 12pm, free. Ghetto (formerly Candy Bar) Twisted Karaoke. 10pm Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday. Relaxed, friendly bar with sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free. Queen's Arms Karaoke with Betty Swollocks. 9pm, free. R-Bar Shoot Me Baby. Get a FREE shot of Corky's or Sourz with every alcoholic bevvy! 12pm–2am, free. Revenge Flashback. The best 80s nostalgic tunes from Lady P and Two-Foot. 10:30pm–3am, £2/NUS go Free. The Aquarium Theatre Bar Josh Mill's Music Night. With Uncle Ben's quiz night from 9pm. Bar open 12pm, free.
Wednesday 27 Ghetto (formerly Candy Bar) Miss-shapes. The infamous London night comes to Brighton with a cool mix of indie and pop. 10pm, £tbc. Legends Relax – it’s Wednesday. Bar open 11am–5am, free. Prince Regent Swimming Pool Out to Swim South. 8:30pm, £4 per session, 20 annual. R-Bar Cocktail Club. Enjoy the champagne lifestyle on lemonade money. 12pm–2am. Revenge pop!SEXY. Expect live on stage entertainment and chart pop and R'n'B. 10:30pm––3am, £3/2 NUS. Star Inn Charity Jukebox. Bar open
12pm–11pm. The Basement Play. with DJ Alex Baker spinning all things house. 11pm–4am.
Amsterdam Sun Downers. Enjoy the best beach house music in Brighton. 8pm–2am. Ghetto (formerly Candy Bar) Wigout. Soho's long running pop party. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. £tbc. Legends Pre Ignition. 7pm, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Chris Thom’s Laid back vibe. Live music. 2pm–5pm, free. Queen's Arms Karaoke party with Kamp Kevin. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3:30–5:30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin til midnite! Bar open 12pm–12:30am, free. R-Bar Kinky-The Early Session . A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous with new boy on the block, Jozzie O. 9pm–7am, free. Revenge Kinky Dangerous. Gay Brighton's Kings of the Saturday night! 4 top DJs, 2 floors, and 6.5 hours of fun. 10:30pm-5am, £3–7. Star Inn Bear Essentials. DJ Charlie. Bar open 12pm–1am, free. The Aquarium Theatre Bar Cabaret with Jaque Bennett. A welcome return to The Diana Ross of Peckham. 9pm, free. The Basement Ignition. With the dance sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm, free/5. The PV at The Jury's Out Saturday Madness. Em & Charlotte head their monthly gig from
4.30pm. From 8.30pm one of the PV's house DJ's takes to the decks. Bar open 12pm.
Sunday 31 Amsterdam Sunday Lunch. Traditional roasts (12–5:30pm) and relaxing sunday vibes with a cabaret twist. Hosted by Connie Conway. 8pm. Audio Sunday Sundae. Delve into a unique blend of old skool house and pop classics served up by DJs Richard Jones, Diablo and Kate Wildblood. 6pm, £3/4/5. Legends Sunday Cabaret with Kandi Kane. 3:15pm, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Sunday Jazz Brunch. Sunday Jazz Brunch 11am, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Shirley is Divalicious Hosted by Hope Springs. 9pm, free. The Basement Embrace. Remixed Pop tracks with G-A-Y DJ Nick Shepherdson. 11pm, free.
Monday 1 September Amsterdam The Monday Musical. Gimmie gimmie gimmie a musical, some popcorn and a drink from the bar! Bar open 11am. The Basement Back to the 80s and 90s. Let DJ Steve Lush whisk you back with his classic floorfillers. 11pm–4am free. Charles Street Club Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin the best party tracks spanning the last 4 decades with drinks promos. 10pm–2am, £1.50. Ghetto Shibby Shabblers. DJs Pookie and Crackwhore. £1.50 pints and vodka mix. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS. Legends Dave Lynn and friends. A hysterical night of cabaret with Dave Lynn and friends, 9:30pm. Bar open 11am–5am, free. Queen's Arms Cherry Poppins Karaoke Show. plus drinks promos, 9pm. Bar open 12pm.
Thursday 28 Arc Dynamite Boogaloo. Cabaret capers and outrageous stage games with a little pop, funk 'n' krunk. 10:30pm–3am, £3/1. Charles Street Club Religion. Two floors of funky house. Hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with Tony B and Mikalis. 10pm, £4/3. Ghetto (Formerly Candy Bar) Leader of the Pack. 50s and 60s girl bands, £tbc. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Motown Sing a long. Host TBC 9pm. Queen's Arms Lucky Dip Karaoke. hosted by Betty Swollocks. 12pm–11:30pm, free. R-Bar I Can't Wait For The Weekend To Begin. 12pm–2am, free. Revenge GirlsOnTop. Fabulously trashy weekly lesbian night with DJ Smiffy. 10:30pm–4am, £free b4 11:30 with passes, 4/5 after. The Basement Eddie K's Jukebox. 11pm–4am.
Friday 29 Amsterdam The Jazz Lounge with Wesley Sebastian. Swing and Jazz, 9pm. Legends Pre Celebration. Pure pop sounds 7pm. Queen's Arms Andy B's Camp Attack. Cabaret and games. Bar open 12pm–1am, free. R-Bar Lollipop warm up Party. Flex the drinking arm in this weekend warm up. 12pm–5am, free. Revenge Lollipop and House of Diva. Top pop tunes from Stewart T. Upstairs find funky vocal house with DJ Hollie and guests. 10:30pm–5am, £free b4 11/5 b4 12/7 after.
➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory online for details
Dynamite Boogaloo, Arc, Thursday 28th
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036_LS387_TVIntro
8/22/08
12:51 PM
Page 2
latestTV Dani on TV
What’s hot on the box
Films on TV
TUESDAY 26 Move Over, Darling ★★★★✩ (1963, Film4, 3.20pm. Dir Michael Gordon) A fallabout farce as James Garner’s wife Doris Day comes back from the presumed dead just as he’s about to marry wife number two Polly Bergen. With tangents of surviving on a desert island with only a Tarzan-style fit man for company this is a fun, and still fresh, comedy for the holidays.
WEDNESDAY 27 Barefoot In The Park ★★★★✩
The X Factor ITV Saturdays 7.30pm My God. Each series Simon Cowell points out there is less and less talent so I am left wondering why he always does another show? The money must be good. So Sharon Osbourne has left the show. I am not sure if she will be missed. To be honest I would rather it if Louis Walsh sodded off. I couldn’t care less if his bands have had 28 number ones, I think he is a nasty little weasel.
“Simon Cowell will hypnotise you with his shiny teeth into watching the whole series” Cheryl Cole has replaced Sharon. The thing with Sharon was that she had a personality, and although I hate to admit it, that gave a little something to the show. I am not sure Cheryl has a personality. Regardless of the possible lack of personality, this show will possibly also lack the originality it once had. Seeing the losers think they are great is only funny for so long. How many times can you be completely shocked by the voice of a three-year-old? I say all this, but I will watch it. And I will be completely hooked. You know it is easier to be hooked to crap telly when the X Factor is on because that means it is nearly Christmas. Surely it should be on the calendar now. Just before British Summer Time ends there should be X Factor starts tonight, cancel all your plans for the rest of the year because Simon Cowell will hypnotise you with his shiny teeth into watching the whole series. A bit much, but you get my drift. This year I will have to watch as Cheryl Cole is in it. I can’t wait to see her and Dannii Minogue competing to see who can look best, wear the most revealing outfit or be on the cover of the most magazines. Oh, and who could forget it will coincidentally coincide with the release of at least one of the past winner’s singles? What could cause the most interesting part of the show is that Louis Walsh used to be the manager of Cheryl Cole’s band Girls Aloud. Let’s hope for the sake of entertainment there are some residual feelings, which will probably be from Louis, because he looks like that kind of person. It would certainly make it worth watching. And to be honest, if that doesn’t happen I will still be sucked in. But just to make it clear it is not because I enjoy people making prats of themselves, it is purely for research! 36 latest 7
(1967, Sky Movies Classics, 5.25pm. Dir Gene Saks) Neil Simon’s tale of a young couple – Robert Redford and Jane Fonda make up this stunning duo – moving from honeymoon period to setting up home for the first time. He’s straight-laced and she’s fun-loving. A comedy adjustment in their fifth floor apartment follows swiftly.
THURSDAY 28 Don’t Say A Word ★★★✩✩ (2001, BBC1, 10.35pm. Dir Gary Fleder) Michael Douglas stars as an eminent psychiatrist – is there ever any other kind in movieland? – thrown into a world of peril when his daughter is kidnapped and the ransom is that he break through a young girl’s post traumatic stress disorder. Co-starring Britanny Murphy, and with Sean Bean providing quality baddiness.
FRIDAY 29 Copycat ★★★✩✩ (1991, BBC1, 11.20pm. Dir John Amiel) Sigourney Weaver is the serial killer specialist suffering from agrophobia. Holly Hunter and Dermot Mulroney are police officers investigating a serial killer and requesting her help. Harry Connick, Jnr. is a nutter! Well, previously caught serial killer. Together they make a rather entertaining Friday-night thriller.
SATURDAY 30 The Time Machine ★★✩✩✩ (2002, ITV1, 9.10pm. Dir Simon Wells) Mr Chiselled cheekbones himself, Guy Pierce, plays our intrepid inventor creating a time machine only to find himself in some bizarre future with warring satirical tribes. This doesn’t mean that they simply exchange witty quips but that they’re
26 Aug-1 Sept
Movies on the box this week a comment on the Victorian British call system. Average, with Samantha Mumba in a fur bikini.
SUNDAY 31 Chopper ★★★★★ (2000, BBC2, 11.30pm. Dir Andrew Dominik) Eric Bana stars in the biopic of Australian hard man crim extraordinaire Mark ‘Chopper’ Read. The man who, whenever he was nicked would write another biography of misdeeds to raise money for his legal fees. The man who cut his own ears off to be moved to the psych wing. The man who... you get the idea. Brilliant portrayal of a terrifying and very funny man.
MONDAY 1 Indecent Proposal ★★★✩✩ (1993, Channel 4, 11.00pm. Dir Adrian Lyne) The film referenced ever since in every game of ‘would you ever...’ tells the original tale of loved up couple Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore offered a million pounds to keep their dream house in exchange for one night with Demi Moore. Robert Redford plays the moneyed-up homewrecker for an evening.
037_LS387_TV_Tues
8/20/08
12:18 PM
Page 1
tuesday 26 Mutual Friends BBC1, 9pm This new comedy drama starts, as you would expect, with the death by suicide, of Martin’s best friend. Funny already? Well, this is the initial catalyst for the disintegration of all that is steady in his world. His wife spills that she slept with the recently deceased. Twice. And then another shambles mate arrives.
CSI: Miami Five, 9pm Horatio – the coolest redhead and least sunburnt Celtic skintoned man in Miami – leads the CSI team in investigating the death of a college student. This particular student was found burnt in an SUV while her friend lay unconscious nearby. It’s a riddle within an enigma within a quandary. Our hero will prevail.
Meetings with Remarkable Trees BBC4, 9pm Not the latest in the BBC’s string of sketch comedy shows but a glimpse at some of Britain’s oldest and most unusual trees. Today’s bark of honour belongs to the ginkgo at Kew Gardens, one of the oldest known tree species and one of only five surviving from when the gardens first opened.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Escape to the Country 11.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.30 Cash in the Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.25 Arthur 3.50 Skunk Fu 4.05 The Story of Tracy Beaker 4.35 Roman Mysteries 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Hider in the House 9.30 The Revenge Files of Alistair Fury 10.00 Get 100 10.30 Evacuation 11.00 Dangermouse 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm What are You Like? 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Britain’s Dream Homes 2.15 Animal 24:7 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Eating with the Enemy 5.15 Wanted Down Under
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm 60 Minute Makeover 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Inspector Morse 5.00 Goldenballs
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 The Hotel Inspector 12.30pm Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: The Deliverance Of Elaine (1996) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Big League Weekend 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Big League Weekend 12.30pm Ford Football Special 2.00 LIVE International Cricket 5.00 LIVE International Cricket 10.00 Ryder Cup Countdown 2008 10.30 NFL: Total Access 11.30 Ryder Cup Countdown 2008 12.00am Carling Cup Football 1.30 International Cricket 3.30 World Motor Sport
6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Jase’s job takes an unexpected turn, leaving more than him and Billy in danger. That fella – good heart but an impatient accident waiting to happen. Regularly. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby City Michael brings an old friend to town to help the Tans, but is his offer too good to be true? Ric takes the upper hand in the race for the Director of Surgery post, but some devastating news turns his world upside down. More devastating than being cut by your mate in surgery, who then goes loopy on your ass? No quiet life here. 9.00 Mutual Friends See highlights. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 The Last Word Monologues Contemplative comedy-drama. A farmer tries to find a way to free himself from the yoke of a dominating mother. 11.05 FILM: The Greatest Game Ever Played (2004) Starring Shia Labeouf. Disney sports drama. 1.00am Weatherview 1.05 Sign Zone: The John Akii-Bua Story: an African Tragedy 2.35 Celebrity MasterChef 3.35 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 4.20 Joins BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Quiz. That crossover between kid’s TV and adult entertainment. Tricky. 6.30 MasterChef the Professionals Chef Michel Roux Jnr and vegetable expert Gregg Wallace are on the hunt for a young chef who wants to make it to the top of the culinary world. 7.00 Living the Dream Revisited People who set up their dream businesses with an update. 8.00 Thames Shipwrecks: a Race Against Time Seven shipwrecks are being salvaged from the river Thames. 9.00 Maestro Clive Anderson hosts Maestro’s second studio challenge as six famous amateur conductors go head to head. 10.00 The Edinburgh Festival Show Lauren Laverne presents the last in the series of shows covering the Edinburgh Festival and Fringe with guests including the legendary comedian Joan Rivers. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Imagine... the Smoking Diaries Marking the publication of Simon Gray’s latest book, The Smoking Diaries, Alan Yentob draws a rare insight into one of Britain’s foremost playwrights, giving a darkly entertaining account of his childhood experiences and very personal views on addictions to smoking and alcohol. 12.10am Joins BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Anna’s plans are thwarted when Donald, furious that she has gone on a date with Matthew, gives Carl the money to buy Mill Cottage. Oh, to have someone else’s dad give us money to buy a home. Anyone? 8.00 The Bill Sally sits in her crushed car and goes into shock as she realises she has hit another vehicle and sees Miranda Roscoe lying motionless on the road. With her career in jeopardy, Ben tries to cover up when he calls the paramedics by giving Sally a false name. Laws – rules NOT guidelines, 9.00 Fiddles, Cheats & Scams Exaggerating accidents, burning the business down and cold-blooded murder.The first of three programmes reveals the lengths people go to cheat the insurance industry. 10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.40 Kingdom Peter visits Cambridge and is drawn into a battle between his old professor and the partner of a recently dead biologist. Step away from the petrie dish. 11.45 Carling Cup Highlights 12.30am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime 1.25 FILM: Up Pompeii (1971) 2.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Friends (x2) 10.00 4Music Presents... 10.30 Friends 11.00 Ugly Betty 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 Proud Parents 12.45 Will and Grace 1.10 Will and Grace 1.35 Desperate Housewives 2.25 Desperate Housewives 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine with Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Keiron is eager for John Paul to tell Myra about their engagement, but John Paul is more reticent. Maybe he remembers her initial reaction in the church. Hmm. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Bright Young Wonders 8.00 Don’t Blame the Builder High-flying city girl and first-time buyer Jen Eaton has embarked on a major house refurbishment to create her dream home in Sidcup, Kent. Six months later all work has ground to a halt. Time for a spot of negotiating. Step away from the drill. 9.00 The Secret Millionaire Marketing millionaire Carl Hopkins travels to the former mining town of Easington in County Durham to see if he can help the declining community. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the BB house. 11.05 Comedy Lab: Mr & Mrs Fandango Character sketch show. 11.35 Reaper Sam tries to stop an untalented musician from selling his soul to the devil in return for guaranteed fame as a rock star. 12.35am Bennetts British Superbike Championship 1.30 Bullrun: Cops, Cars & Superstars 1.55 Big Brother Live 4.25 KOTV 4.50 The British Formula 3 International Series 5.20 FIVB Beach Volleyball
Sky Sports 2 6.00 Home and Away Can Nicole accept Roman and Charlie’s relationship? Will Martha tell Jack the truth? Does anyone ever answer these questions? 6.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. 7.00 Five News 7.30 Highland Emergency The RAF helicopter crew tries to locate an elderly hiker in the mountains. 8.00 JFK – The Scandals: Revealed This programme focuses on John F Kennedy’s alleged obsession with sex. Probably enough material for a mini-series. 9.00 CSI: Miami See highlights. 10.00 CSI: NY The search for Mac’s stalker leads him to Chicago, where the discovery of a 30-year-old corpse reveals a secret from Mac’s past. 11.00 Law and Order: SVU Benson and Stabler discover that the death of a college student was directly linked to crimes he committed as the pledgemaster of his fraternity. 12.00am Cricket on Five Mark 1.00 European Drag Racing 1.25 IndyCar 2.15 Rolex Grand American 3.05 Race and Rally UK 3.30 Motorsport Mundial 3.55 Golf: The Challenge 4.20 Golf 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home and Away
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FEI Equestrian World 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Showjumping 9.00 FEI Equestrian World 9.30 World Motor Sport 12.00pm Carp Academy 2008 12.30 Elite League Speedway 2.30 World Motor Sport 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 FEI Equestrian World 6.30 British Formula Ford Championship 7.00 Ryder Cup Countdown 2008 7.30 LIVE Carling Cup Football 10.00 Poker: European Ladies Championship 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 Hyundai A League 12.00am Golf: Challenge Tour 12.30 Bowls 1.30 Bowls 2.30 European Seniors Tour Golf 3.30 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 4.30 Carling Cup Football
Sky Sports 3 6.00am British Rally Championship 7.00 Elite League Speedway 9.00 Bowls 10.00 Bowls 11.00 FEI Equestrian World 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Showjumping 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 Bowls 3.00 Bowls 4.00 WWE Smackdown 6.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 7.00 Football Asia 7.30 Golf: Challenge Tour 8.00 Bowls 9.00 Bowls 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 12.00am British Formula Ford Championship 12.30 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 1.30 Golf: Challenge Tour 2.00 Hyundai A League 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 British Formula Ford Championship Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky One
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
12.00pm Gladiators (x2) 2.00 Stargate SG-1 3.00 Stargate Atlantis 4.00 Gladiators (x2) 6.00 Malcolm in the Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Stargate Atlantis 9.00 FILM: Star Trek: First Contact (1996) 11.10 Prison Break 12.10am Road Wars (x2) 2.00 Weeds
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Sasha: Beauty Queen at 11 9.00 Don’t Tell the Bride 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 How Not to Live Your Life 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Don’t Tell the Bride 12.45am Sasha: Beauty Queen at 11 1.40 How Not to Live Your Life 2.10 Make My Body Younger
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Pop Go the Sixties 7.35 Batman 8.00 Wild China 9.00 Meetings with Remarkable Trees. See highlights. 9.10 Juliet Bravo 10.00 Call the Cops 10.30 The Chatterley Affair 12.00am The Edwardians in Colour: The Wonderful World of Albert Kahn 1.00 Call the Cops
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Superhuman: World’s Smallest People 9.00 FILM: The Saint (1997) 11.15 FILM: Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason (2004) 1.20am The Black Donnellys
12.10pm The Wonder Years (x2) 1.10 Heartbeat 2.10 Pie in the Sky 3.15 Quincy, ME 4.20 Cadfael 6.00 Heartbeat 7.00 The Wonder Years (x2) 8.00 Pie in the Sky 9.00 Wire in the Blood: Shadows Rising 11.00 Profiling Val McDermid 12.05am Maigret 1.10 Tales of the Unexpected (x2)
12.30pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years (x2) 11.00 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.35 Big Brother: Live (x2)
4.00pm My Place in the Sun (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show with Jon Stewart 9.00 Come Dine with Me 10.00 FILM: Bowling For Columbine (2002) 12.25am ER 1.25 Come Dine with Me 2.30 Countdown
12.50pm Maury 1.45 The Fix 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Blood Ties 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will and Grace (x2) 8.00 Diet on the Dancefloor 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Private Practice 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Blood Ties 1.00 Will and Grace (x2)
UK TV Gold
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
4.00pm Doctor Who 5.00 Sorry! 5.40 My Family 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 Last of the Summer Wine 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 The Thin Blue Line 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.30 The Good Life 11.10 French and Saunders 11.50 The Two Ronnies 12.45am New Adventures of Old Christine
2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x4) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Not Going Out 11.50 Two and a Half Men (x2) 12.50am Baddiel and Skinner
4.00pm Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 New Series Preview: Autumn Line-Up 7.30 How do They do It? 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 10.00 Mysteries of the Shark Coast 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Unsolved Murders 12.30 Crime Scene USA
2.00pm The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath Of The Dragon God (2005) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Quantum Leap 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Event Horizon (1997) 11.50 FILM: The Adventures Of Captain Zoom In Outer Space (1995) 1.40am Medium
1.15pm Doctor Dolittle (1967) 3.40 Julius Caesar (1970) 5.40 The Devil And Miss Jones (1941) 7.15 The Bridges At Toko-Ri (1954) 9.00 The Pawnbroker (1965) 11.00 The Big Clock (1948) 12.45am Doctor Dolittle (1967) 3.20 White Savage (1943) 4.50 The Bridges At Toko-Ri (1954)
12.50pm The Ground Truth (2006) 2.25 Isolation (2005) 4.15 The Top 10 Show 4.30 Them (2005) 6.05 Syriana (2005) 8.15 Whatever Happened To Harold Smith? (1999) 10.00 Suicide Kings (1997) 11.50 Shooting Fish (1997) 1.45am Whatever Happened To Harold Smith? (1999)
1.00pm The Wind And The Lion (1975) 3.20 Move Over, Darling (1963) 5.20 Winchester 73 (1950) 7.05 Memoirs Of An Invisible Man (1992) 9.00 Batman (1989) When Michael Keaton was cool and Jack Nicholson loved those wonderful toys as The Joker. 11.25 City Of God (2002) 1.50am LOL (2006)
8.50am Across The Pacific (1942) 10.35 Random Harvest (1942) 1.00pm The Cazalets 3.00 The Swan (1956) 5.00 Light In The Piazza (1962) 6.50 The VIPs (1963) 9.00 Whose Life Is It Anyway? (1981) 11.10 Ice Station Zebra (1968) 1.45am Grand Prix (1966) 5.00 The Charge Of The Light Brigade (1936)
Classics
Indie
038_LS387_TV_Wed
8/20/08
3:49 PM
Page 1
wednesday 27 How Clean is Your House? Channel 4, 8.30pm A bit of a revisit, but not the rip-off show many revamp returns can become. Kim and Aggie go back to see Caroline Perkins, who previously blamed her tip of a home on her husband, three kids and three pets. Now she’s been ordered to put her feet up for six weeks following an operation. Will the rabble survive?
Coming Up: Thinspiration Channel 4, 11.40pm Mixing up contemporary social concerns with a 17th century convent is certainly a novel way to get your drama about anorexia onto the tellybox. The story tells of young novice Anna who takes her fasting over Lent to the extreme, leaving her praise for holiness, while on the brink of death. Interesting precipice.
Star Stories E4, 11pm If there’s nothing we like more than celebrity, it’s laughing at it. Another chance to catch this comedy series recreating from the writers’ own imaginations the trials and tribulations of the stars of the day. With no one in recent years having more public ups and down than Ms Britney Spears, this’ll be a corker.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Escape to the Country 11.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.30 Cash in the Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.25 Arthur 3.50 Skunk Fu 4.05 Young Dracula 4.35 Serious Ocean 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 My Family Domestic sitcom. One of Ben’s patients, while under anaesthetic, admits to killing his wife. Susan, currently overdosing on murder mysteries, decides to turn sleuth in an effort to expose the killer. The Phil Collins of sitcoms. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Sky Cops Series that follows the work of Britain’s helicopter police. 8.30 Trawlermen Father and son team Charlie and Charles McBride have a disastrous week on their boat the Arcane when they lose their best fishing net, their boat loses power and they are driven into port. D’oh! 9.00 Who Do You Think You Are? Jerry Springer undertakes a painful and disturbing investigation into the fate of his grandmothers, who both died during the Holocaust. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws 10.45 The Last Word Monologues Contemplative comedy-drama. 11.15 The Tudors Historical drama. 12.10am Weatherview 12.15 Sign Zone: Tribal Wives 1.15 Cooking in the Danger Zone 2.15 DIY SOS 2.45 Rogue Restaurants 3.15 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 4.00 Joins BBC News
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Hider in the House 9.30 The Revenge Files of Alistair Fury 10.00 Get 100 10.30 Evacuation 11.00 Dangermouse 11.10 The Flintstones (x2) 12.00pm What Are You Like? 12.30 Open Gardens 1.00 Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Coast 2.15 Animal 24:7 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! Ten of the Best 2008 4.30 Eating with the Enemy 5.15 Wanted Down Under 6.00 Eggheads Quiz of Majesty! No, just a regular question and answer thang. Still fun. 6.30 MasterChef the Professionals The chefs face two challenges. First they must make two dishes in 50 minutes from the central ingredient of lamb, then they must recreate two classic dishes. Yum! 7.00 Grow Your Own Veg! Carol proves how easy it is to grow your own vegetables. Takes you back to wartime. Swap you spuds for carrots! 7.30 Nigella Express Nigella Lawson prepares good food fast. 8.00 Natural World Elephant specialist Martyn Colbeck tells the story of two baby elephants struggling to survive. Neither can fly. Even with a magic feather. The shame of it. 8.50 Wild Nature documentary. 9.00 My Zinc Bed Uma Thurman, Jonathan Pryce and Paddy Considine star in David Hare’s adaptation of his acclaimed stage play. It explores the nature of addiction - whether to drink, to relationships, or to business. 10.10 Coast: Scotland – Fishing By JR Hartley. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Black Power Salute Film about one of the most iconic images of the 20th century, when the radical spirit of the sixties upstaged the greatest sporting event in the world. 12.20am Joins BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm 60 Minute Makeover 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Inspector Morse 5.00 Goldenballs
6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Friends (x2) 10.00 Je Suis Un Rock Star 10.30 Friends 11.00 Ugly Betty 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 Proud Parents 12.45 Will and Grace (x2) 1.35 Desperate Housewives 2.25 Desperate Housewives 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine with Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Malachy persuades Kris to give blood. Not in a punchingin-the-face way either. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Bright Young Wonders 8.00 Embarrassing Illnesses Patients in today’s show are suffering from asymmetrical breasts, STD nightmares, deformed toenails and in-growing hair. Plus, a group of mountain bikers discover how their hobby could be detrimental to their sperm counts. 8.30 How Clean is Your House? See highlights. 9.00 Big Brother Davina McCall hosts the first of two special shows live from the Big Brother house, as the remaining housemates face a shock live task. Plus highlights from the past 24 hours. 10.00 Alan Carr: Tooth Fairy Live Award-winning comedian Alan Carr performs in front of a sell-out audience at the Hammersmith Apollo. 11.05 Big Brother The second of two special shows. 11.40 Coming Up: Thinspiration See highlights. 12.10am Stacked 12.45 The Shooting Party 1.10 Island 1.30 Big Brother Live 4.20 Dispatches: How the Banks Never Lose 5.15 Countdown
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 The Hotel Inspector 12.30pm Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Dawn Anna (2005) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Carling Cup Football 10.30 International Cricket 12.30pm Carling Cup Football 2.00 International Cricket 4.00 Ryder Cup Countdown 2008 4.30 LIVE Pro40 League 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 You’re on Sky Sports! 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am Carling Cup Football 1.30 Poker: European Ladies Championship 2.30 Boots ‘n’ All 3.30 Carling Cup Football 5.00 Sports Unlimited
6.00 Home and Away Jack finds out the truth about Martha’s pregnancy. Oh dear. 6.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. 7.00 Five News 7.30 Massive Speed Chris Barrie charts the development of attack helicopters from the experimental autogyro of the 1920s, to heavilyarmed military models of the 1970s and 80s. Airwolf eat your heart out. 8.00 Britain’s Strongest Man Coverage from Minehead of the Britain’s Strongest Man contest. 9.00 Rory & Paddy’s Great British Adventure Comedians Rory McGrath and Paddy McGuinness travel the UK in a camper van in search of strange sporting events. The pair engage in a spot of toe wrestling in Derbyshire. How best to feel like an athlete while still maintaining the lifestyle of a student. 10.00 Banged Up Abroad Dramadocumentary series telling the gripping real-life stories of travellers who find themselves incarcerated overseas. 11.05 Police Interceptors 12.05am PartyPoker.com World Open IV 1.35 Major League Baseball 4.45 Brazil X Games 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home and Away
Sky Sports 2
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Val and Paul begin to see Bonnie’s true colours. Cyndi Lauper was no help at all. 7.30 Coronation Street Jerry’s health takes a sudden dive – and Teresa says she wants to stay and look after him. But Mel discovers the truth about the flat and gives her father an ultimatum – either Teresa goes or she will. Happy families, eh? 8.00 UEFA Champions League Live: Liverpool V Standard Liege Matt Smith presents live coverage from Anfield of Liverpool’s Champions League third qualifying round, second-leg game against Belgian league champions Standard Liege. 10.10 News at Ten; Weather 10.50 Six Degrees When Whitney reveals her feelings for Steven, Laura finds the news difficult to cope with. Carlos and Mae rekindle their lost love. Ray faces a giant threat that could cost him everything he has worked for. A tax bill? 11.50 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show Sketch show starring Katy Brand. 12.20am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime 1.15 FILM: The Best Of Benny Hill (1974) 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Sports Unlimited 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Ryder Cup Countdown 2008 10.00 Golf: Euro Pro Tour 12.00pm Poker: European Ladies Championship 1.00 Ryder Cup Countdown 2008 1.30 Golf: Challenge Tour 2.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 3.00 Hyundai A League 3.30 Carling Cup Football 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 LIVE Carling Cup Football 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Golf: Euro Pro Tour 1.00am NFL: Total Access 2.00 Total Rugby 2.30 European Tour Weekly 3.00 Watersports World
Sky Sports 3 7.00am Golf: Challenge Tour 7.30 European Seniors Tour Golf 8.30 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 9.30 Hyundai A League 10.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 11.00 Hyundai A League 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 NFL: Total Access 2.00 Golf: Euro Pro Tour 4.00 WWE The Bottom Line 5.00 WWE Afterburn 6.00 Irish Greyhound Racing 6.30 Total Rugby 7.00 European Tour Weekly 7.30 Pro40 League 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00am Max Power 1.00 Pipeline Adventures 1.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 2.00 Trans World Sport Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky One
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
12.00pm Gladiators 1.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 3.00 Stargate Atlantis 4.00 Gladiators (x2) 6.00 Malcolm in the Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Don’t Forget the Lyrics 9.00 Bones 10.00 Serial Killers Uncovered 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30am Road Wars 2.25 Weeds
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Match of the Day Live: Arsenal V FC Twente 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 Little Britain 11.15 Spooks: Code 9 12.05am How Not to Live Your Life 12.35 Don’t Tell the Bride 1.35 Cheap Homes for Sale? 2.35 How Not to Live Your Life
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Pop Go the Sixties 7.35 Batman 8.00 Life in Cold Blood 9.00 Blood and Guts: A History of Surgery 10.00 FILM: Requiem (2006) 11.30 Coal House (x2) 12.30 Blood and Guts: A History of Surgery 1.30 Medical Mavericks 2.30 Doctors to Be: 20 Years on (x2) 3.30 Medical Mavericks
4.30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Kids do the Funniest Things 9.00 FILM: Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason (2004) 11.10 Coronation Street 11.35 FILM: The Chronicles Of Riddick (2004) 1.45am Teleshopping
2.10pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.15 Quincy, ME 4.20 Cadfael 6.00 Heartbeat 7.00 The Wonder Years (x2) 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Drama Trails: Footballers’ Wives to Brideshead Revisited 10.00 Wire in the Blood: Justice Painted Blind 12.05am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.10 Maigret
12.30pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Ghost Whisperer (x2) 11.00 Star Stories. See highlights. 11.35 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 12.05am Big Brother: Live
5.05pm Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show with Jon Stewart 9.00 Father Ted 9.30 Back to You 10.00 The IT Crowd 10.35 TV Heaven, Telly Hell 11.05 Dispatches: How the Banks Never Lose 12.10am ER (x2) 2.10 The IT Crowd
11.55am Maury (x2) 1.45 The Fix 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Blood Ties 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will and Grace (x2) 8.00 Private Practice 9.00 Diet on the Dancefloor 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Blood Ties 1.00 Will and Grace (x2)
UK TV Gold
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
3.00pm The Two Ronnies 4.00 Doctor Who 5.00 Icons 5.05 Sorry! 5.40 My Family 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 Last of the Summer Wine 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 The Thin Blue Line 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.40 The Good Life 11.20 Gimme Gimme Gimme 12.00am The Two Ronnies
3.00pm Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Not Going Out 11.50 Stacked (x2) 12.50am Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned
3.00am Deadliest Catch: Lobstermen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How it’s Made 7.30 How do They do It? 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 Elite Forces 10.00 Days that Shook the World 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Unsolved Murders
12.05pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Disaster Zone: Volcano In New York (2006) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Quantum Leap 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Heartstopper (2006) 11.40 FILM: Frankenfish (2004) 1.20am Medium
12.30pm Funeral In Berlin (1966) 2.20 12 Angry Men (1957) 4.00 Tarantula (1955) 5.25 Barefoot In The Park (1967) 7.15 Funeral In Berlin (1966) 9.00 Emperor Of The North (1973) 11.05 Cool Hand Luke (1967) 1.15am The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner (1962)
10.45am Tube Tales (1999) 12.20pm Offside (2006) 1.55 Best (1999) 3.45 Cinema Paradiso (1988) 6.40 Nina’s Heavenly Delights (2006) 8.20 Cruel Intentions (1999) 10.00 Body Of Evidence (1993) 11.45 Dad Savage (1998) 1.35am This Year’s Love (1998)
1.00pm The Kidnappers (1953) 2.45 Innocents In Paris (1953) 4.25 Campbell’s Kingdom (1958) 6.25 Coach Carter (2005) 9.00 Transamerica (2005) 11.00 28 Days Later (2001) British zombie horror, questioning whether the monsters are us or them. Stars Cillian Murphy. 1.10am The Descent (2005)
8.50am International Velvet (1978) 10.55 The Barretts Of Wimpole Street (1934) 1.00pm The Cazalets 3.00 Please Don’t Eat The Daisies (1960) 5.00 San Antonio (1945) 7.05 Elvis: That’s The Way It Is () 9.00 Kelly’s Heroes (1970) 11.40 Raintree County (1957) 2.35am Action In The North Atlantic (1943)
Classics
Indie
039_LS387_TV_Thurs
8/20/08
8:09 PM
Page 1
thursday 28 Would Like to Meet Again BBC2, 8pm Ahh. We love it when a plan comes together, and it certainly did for this lot. Wheeling out a couple of fabbo success stories, showing off 20-years-single-andnow-in-a-lovely-relationship Jon and scary-aggressive Kellie who is also happily blissed up, it’s almost like a Dateline ad in the back of a mag. So happy together.
Comedy Lab: Pappy’s Fun Club Channel 4, 11.20pm Darlings of the Edinburgh Fringe and already having had a pop at Radio 4, this is Matthew, Ben, Brendan and Tom’s first telly – and worth catching for that. Part sketch show, part sitcom the boys and their mysterious benefactor – Pappy – face an energy crisis with their own flare.
Fame Junkies BBC3, 9pm Inspired by a survey suggesting that four out of five school leavers aspire to become a celebrity, 29year-old barman Garron Mitchell has a go at infiltrating the celeb lifestyle. Proof that the high life can seriously damage your health, and a warning to all wanting to rub shoulders with Amy and Kylie.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Escape to the Country 11.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.30 Cash in the Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.25 Arthur 3.50 Skunk Fu 4.05 Best of Friends 4.35 Hider in the House 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Shirley forces Dawn to hear some unpleasant home truths at her hen do. Obviously she’s just the gobby... lady... to tell her. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Rogue Restaurants Matt Allwright and Anita Rani send their undercover teams into kitchens run by a major UK pub group. They find a number of serious contraventions, including leftover food being reheated and resold to customers. Doggy bags would put pay to that. 8.30 Accidental Heroes Series documenting real-life stories of bravery and courage. 9.00 SuperDoctors In the second of this three-part series examining new medical frontiers, Professor Robert Winston looks at stem cells and scientist’s attempts to harness them. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 FILM: Don’t Say A Word (2001) Starring Michael Douglas, Brittany Murphy, Sean Bean. Thriller. 12.25am Weatherview 12.30 Sign Zone: Panorama 1.00 Vanessa-Mae: The Making of Me 2.00 Countryfile 2.55 Celebrity MasterChef 3.25 Cash in the Celebrity Attic 4.10 Joins BBC News
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Hider in the House 9.30 Do Something Different 10.00 Get 100 10.30 Evacuation 11.00 Dangermouse 11.10 The Flintstones (x2) 12.00pm What are You Like? 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Britain’s Dream Homes 2.15 Animal 24:7 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! Ten of the Best 2008 4.30 Eating with the Enemy 5.15 Wanted Down Under 6.00 Eggheads Quiz-time. 6.30 Masterchef the Professionals Chef Michel Roux Jnr and vegetable expert Gregg Wallace are on the hunt for a young chef who wants to make it to the top of the culinary world. See it in their eyes – they want it bad! Potato eyes that is. 7.00 Who do You Think You Are? Series in which celebrities trace their ancestry, discovering secrets and surprises from their past. 8.00 Would Like to Meet Again See highlights. 8.30 Dr Alice Roberts: Don’t Die Young Half of all reported pain is due to problems with bones, muscles and joints so Dr Alice Roberts has some much needed advice on how to look after them. Dem bones eh? Glass of milk’ll knock ‘em into shape. 9.00 Mock the Week Two teams of comedians take a satirical swipe at the news and world events. 9.30 The Cup Comedy series. With Coach Blackley in hospital recovering from his seizure, Terry McConnell reckons he’s all but got the job as Ashburn United coach. 10.00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks Comedy pop quiz. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Edinburgh Show 12.05am Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps 12.35 How I Met Your Mother US (x2) 1.20 Joins BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm 60 Minute Makeover 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Inspector Morse 5.00 Goldenballs
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.30 Big Brother 8.30 Big Brother 9.00 Friends (x2) 10.00 Je Suis un Rock Star 10.30 Friends 11.00 Ugly Betty 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 Proud Parents 12.45 Will and Grace 1.10 Will and Grace 1.35 Desperate Housewives 2.25 Desperate Housewives 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine with Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Niall’s attempts to woo Steph go wrong. Now there’s a surprise. Kill her husband then have a pop at a date. Not the best combo. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Bright Young Wonders 8.00 How to Look Good Naked Special catch-up edition of the makeover series. Stylist Gok Wan revisits Lisa Mayall, whose self confidence he boosted a year earlier after transforming her appearance. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the past 24 hours in the BB house. 10.00 The Charlotte Church Show The Welsh pop and classical singer presents her own show. 10.50 Comedy Lab: Olivia Lee’s Naughty Bits The showcase for new comedy talent presents a hidden camera show from Olivia Lee. 11.20 Comedy Lab: Pappy’s Fun Club See highlights. 11.55 The Kevin Bishop Show The impressionist presents a fast-paced sketch show featuring spoofs of celebrities. 12.25am The Shooting Party 12.55 4 Music: Ibiza Rocks with Sony Ericsson 1.20 Big Brother Live 4.25 St Elsewhere 5.15 Countdown
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 The Hotel Inspector 12.30pm Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 Five News Update 3.15 UEFA Cup Football 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 European Tour Weekly 10.00 Live European Tour Golf 1.00pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.30 Carling Cup Football 3.00 Total Rugby 3.30 Boots ‘n’ All 4.30 LIVE Pro40 League 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am Live PreSeason NFL 3.00 Barclays Premier League World 3.30 Race World 4.30 Irish Show Jumping Premier Series 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jo is pleased to see Andy’s softer side. About time too. Won’t last though. Grr. 7.30 Coastal Ways 8.00 The Bill Rachel and Roger are called out to a disturbance and find Gavin Henshaw beaten unconscious. Grace and Kezia visit Jay Newman, who they discover was in Gavin’s house at the time of the attack. Stories to tell and it’s not even bedtime. 9.00 Trinny & Susannah Undress The Nation T and S are on a mission to make Britain glamorous. To start their campaign they invite 100 women to wear their dressiest clothes to a London nightclub, where they pick five ladies who will learn the golden rules of glamour. 10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.40 Customs UK Series following customs officers across the south of England as they turn up the heat on smugglers. Argh, me hearties. 11.10 Focus Award winning current affairs show for the south of England. 11.40 Mika: Vodafone Summer Series 12.10am Bingo Night Live 1.15 Motorsport UK 1.40 FILM: This Is Spinal Tap (1984) 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 Home and Away Matilda is accepted to university in Western Australia. Ta ra Matty! 6.30 Monkey Life The new baby woolly monkey meets its own kind for the very first time. There is some growing up to be done as orangutan Aris graduates from the nursery and meets Gordon. And there is a surprise in the chimp nursery as the cheeky Seamus seems to have learned to control his wild side. 7.00 Five News 7.30 UEFA Cup Football Live UEFA Cup football action from Villa Park as Aston Villa host FH Hafnarfjordur in the second leg of their second-round qualifying tie. Kick-off is at 20.00. 10.05 Grey’s Anatomy Medical drama following Meredith Grey and her fellow interns. The interns take their medical exams, and Cristina works on her vows. 11.05 Grey’s Anatomy Exam results loom large, Cristina’s wedding day arrives, and the new Chief is announced. Why does everything have to happen at once? Did nobody buy a diary and have a look when these things were scheduled? Bad time-keeping. 12.10am Quiz Call 4.00 Major League Soccer 4.45 Nick’s Quest 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home and Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Watersports World 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 Carling Cup Football 11.00 Boots ‘n’ All 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Total Rugby 1.30 Boots ‘n’ All 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Johnnie Walker Championship 6.00 British BMX Championships 2008 6.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 Golf Night 9.30 British BMX Championships 2008 10.00 LIVE Sky Poker Five O 12.00am Race World 1.00 Motor Sport 2.00 Irish Showjumping Premier Series 2.30 Poker
Sky Sports 3 10.00am Total Rugby 10.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 NFL: Total Access 2.00 Pipeline Adventures 2.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 3.00 Watersports World 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 Irish Showjumping Premier Series 6.30 Motor Sport 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 WWE Late Night Raw 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 Golf Night 3.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 3.30 British BMX Championships 2008 Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky One
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
12.00pm Gladiators 1.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 3.00 Stargate Atlantis 4.00 Gladiators: Quarter Finals (x2) 6.00 Malcolm in the Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Bones 10.00 The Man who Had Minutes to Live 11.00 Road Wars 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Street Wars 1.55 Weeds
7.00pm Doctor Who 8.00 Don’t Tell the Bride 9.00 Fame Junkies. See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Wrong Door 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Fame Junkies 12.45am Don’t Tell the Bride 1.40 The Wrong Door 2.10 Britain’s Youngest Grannies 3.10 I’m Kylie’s Body Double
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Fossil Detectives 8.00 The Rebel Physician: Nicholas Culpeper’s Fight 9.00 Casualty 1906 10.00 Blood and Guts: A History of Surgery 11.00 Maestro 12.00am BBC Four Sessions 1.00 Fossil Detectives 1.30 Journeys from the Centre of the Earth
4.30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Shoplifters – Caught on Camera 9.00 FILM: The Chronicles Of Riddick (2004) 11.15 Secret Diary of a Call Girl (x2) 12.20am FILM: Runaway Bride (1999) 2.25 Teleshopping 5.25 ITV2 Nightscreen
1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes 3.15 Quincy, ME 4.20 Cadfael 6.00 Heartbeat 7.00 The Wonder Years (x2) 8.00 The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Wire in the Blood (x2) 1.00am The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes 1.50 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries
4.25pm Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 My Name is Earl 9.30 My Name is Earl 10.00 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 10.35 Alan Carr’s Celebrity Ding Dong 11.25 E4 Comedy 11.40 E4 Comedy 11.55 Big Brother: Live (x2)
5.05pm Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show with Jon Stewart 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 10.00 Without a Trace (x2) 12.00am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.00 Without a Trace (x2) 2.50 Countdown 3.40 Close
2.00pm Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Blood Ties 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will and Grace (x2) 8.00 Criminal Minds 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Ibiza 2008 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Blood Ties 1.00 Will and Grace (x2) 2.00 Ibiza 2008
UK TV Gold
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
4.00pm Doctor Who 5.00 Sorry! 5.40 My Family 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 Last of the Summer Wine 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 The Thin Blue Line 9.00 When Were We Funniest? 10.00 The Good Life 10.40 Steptoe and Son 11.40 Gimme Gimme Gimme 12.20am What a Carry On!
5.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Not Going Out 11.50 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 12.50am Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned (x2) 1.50 Sexy Cam
3.00pm Deadliest Catch: Lobstermen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How it’s Made 7.30 How Do They Do It? 8.00 My Shocking Story 9.00 Real ER: The Bronx 10.00 Deranged Killers 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Unsolved Murders
1.00pm Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Jason And The Argonauts (2000) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Quantum Leap 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Angel 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: John Carpenter’s Ghosts Of Mars (2001) 11.50 FILM: Bordello Of Blood (1996) 1.30am Medium
12.25pm The Lady Eve (1941) 2.00 Father Goose (1964) 4.00 The Phantom Of The Opera (1943) 5.35 California (1946) 7.20 The Lady Eve (1941) 9.00 Samson And Delilah (1949) 11.15 Teacher’s Pet (1958) 1.25am The Phantom Of The Opera (1943) 3.10 Father Goose (1964)
11.00am The Page Turner (2006) 12.40pm The Fountain (2006) 2.20 Cyrano De Bergerac (1990) 4.45 L’enfant (2005) 6.25 Remnants Of Everest: The 1996 Tragedy (2007) 8.20 The Fountain (2006) 10.00 Ten Canoes (2006) 11.40 Ong-Bak (2004) 1.35am The Page Turner (2006)
1.00pm Where The Sidewalk Ends (1950) 2.45 The Lady Vanishes (1979) 4.45 Picnic At Hanging Rock (1975) 6.55 Gallipoli (1981) 9.00 The Wedding Date (2005) 10.35 Sherrybaby (2006) Maggie Gyllenhaal stars in this indie tale. 12.20am Onegin (1999) 2.20 Highly Dangerous (1950)
1.00pm Precious Bane (1989) 3.00 Young Bess (1953) 5.00 The Doctor’s Dilemma (1958) 6.45 The Journey (1959) 9.00 Poltergeist (1982) 11.00 Children Of The Damned (1964) 12.35am Live A Little, Love A Little (1968) 2.15 Home From The Hill (1960) 5.00 This Could Be The Night (1957)
Classics
Indie
040_LS387_TV_Fri
8/20/08
12:23 PM
Page 1
friday 29 A1: The Road Musical Channel 4, 7.30pm Don’t worry, it’s not the tale of a mediocre boy band covering ‘Take on Me’. Actually, Benjamin Till’s debut film is quite clever, documenting the stories of the people who live and work along the A1, Britain’s longest road. Taking their lyrics, setting them to music and gently choreographing their performances. Beep! Beep!
DIY SOS BBC1, 8.30pm Ever had that feeling someone’s watching you while you sleep? The Pickerings do. Ever since wife Shelley got stuck into some DIY and knocked down the entire internal wall in their flat, leaving them in full view of the neighbours each night. It’s been like this for three years. Mega SOS for Nick Knowles and co.
The Avengers BBC4, 11pm and 11.50pm Classic Friday night fodder. End the work week with the sinister yet jaunty tales of Steed and Mrs Peel. Kicking off, the pair investigate when the body of a village poacher is found drowned in a field. After this curious investigation Steed heads off to his RAF reunion where the duo find a mystery. Quelle surprise.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Escape to the Country 11.00 Homes Under the Hammer 11.30 Cash in the Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures of Piggley Winks 3.25 Arthur 3.50 Uncle Max 4.05 Best of Friends 4.35 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today; Weather 7.00 The One Show 7.30 The Green Green Grass Boycie meets his new neighbour. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Garry has devastating news for Dawn on her wedding day and Honey is horrified by Billy’s admission. Trouble – two, young love – nil. 8.30 DIY SOS See highlights. 9.00 Would I Lie to You? Comedy panel show, hosted by Angus Deayton with team captains David Mitchell and Lee Mack. Call My Bluff for the Noughties. 9.30 The Armstrong and Miller Show Alexander Armstrong and Ben Miller’s sketch show. 10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today; Weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Comedy Connections The series charting the history of British comedy looks at Dad’s Army. 11.15 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.20 FILM: Copycat (1995) Starring Sigourney Weaver, Holly Hunter, Dermot Mulroney. Tense thriller about the hunt for a serial killer. 1.15am Weatherview 1.20 Sign Zone: Britain from Above (x2) 2.50 Francesco’s Mediterranean Voyage(x2) 3.50 Joins BBC News
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Hider in the House 9.30 Do Something Different 10.00 Bring it On 10.25 Bernard 10.30 Evacuation 11.00 Dangermouse 11.10 The Flintstones (x2) 12.00pm What are You Like? 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Britain’s Dream Homes 2.15 Animal 24:7 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! Ten of the Best 2008 4.30 Eating with the Enemy 5.15 Wanted Down Under 6.00 Eggheads Alert: Quiz at work. 6.30 MasterChef the Professionals The quarter finals, and the four winning chefs from the week’s heats cook two courses of their own design for three restaurant critics. Only two will go through to finals week. 7.00 The Real Monarch of the Glen Shortly after buying his 23,000 acre estate in Sutherland, Paul met and married Pippa. Lovely countryside and mucho work. 7.30 Wainwright’s Walks Julia Bradbury explores the work of the great British fell walker and author, Alfred Wainwright. 8.00 Gardeners’ World Specials Britain has a unique heritage of wild flowers. Sarah Raven does her best to preserve them. 9.00 The Tudors Imprisoned Sir Thomas More refuses to relent to the King’s religious rulings, much to Henry’s anger and distress. A miscarriage gives Anne cause to fear she could also lose her crown. 10.00 QI Stephen Fry chairs the almost impossible quiz. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Reading and Leeds Festival 2008 Edith Bowman and Zane Lowe look back over the festival. 1.00am Star Trek: The Next Generation (x2) 2.30 FILM: The Baby (1973) 3.55 How I Met Your Mother (x2)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm 60 Minute Makeover 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Inspector Morse 5.00 Goldenballs
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 Je Suis un Rock Star 10.30 Friends 11.00 Ugly Betty 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 Proud Parents: Paul Rankin 12.45 Will and Grace 1.10 Will and Grace 1.35 Desperate Housewives (x2) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine with Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Niall’s interference rushes John Paul and Kieron into a speedy marriage. A bitter Niall visits his father’s grave. That Niall one’s got a nuttiness all of his own. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 A1: The Road Musical See highlights. 8.00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away Suzanne and Michael Kelly and their three children are torn between a new life in Cornwall or on Portugal’s Green Coast. Alright for some, eh? 9.00 Big Brother Davina McCall announces the results live and direct into the house in a special eviction night show. Plus highlights from the past 24 hours. 10.00 The Kevin Bishop Show The impressionist presents a fastpaced sketch show featuring spoofs of celebrities. 10.35 Big Brother Davina has a chat with the evicted housemate. Who’d’ya fancy? Why’d’ya snog ‘em? Why’d’ya wear THAT? 11.10 Jack Dee Live Following his sell-out UK tour, Jack Dee returns to the Hammersmith Apollo. 12.15am T-Mobile Transmission 1.15 4 Music: 4Play: Sam Beeton 1.30 Big Brother Live 3.45 Goalissimo! 4.35 Trans World Sport 5.25 Countdown
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 The Hotel Inspector 12.30pm Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Perfect Romance (2004) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Trans World Sport 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 LIVE International Cricket 2.00pm Live International Cricket 7.00 Off the Bar 7.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 8.00 Big League Weekend 9.00 International Cricket 11.00 Off the Bar 11.30 Big League Weekend 12.30am Barclays Premier League Preview 1.00 International Cricket 3.00 Gillette World Sport 3.30 Big League Weekend 4.30 Off the Bar 5.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 5.30 Gillette World Sport
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale After a blazing row, Jo throws Andy out. About time too! Bob struggles to cope with the shop and the café. Ahh. Doug calls time on his fling with Bonnie. Boo! 7.30 UEFA Super Cup: Manchester United V St Petersburg Matt Smith presents live coverage from Monaco of the UEFA Super Cup final between Champions League winners Manchester United and UEFA Cup winners Zenit St Petersburg. Sir Alex Ferguson’s side won the competition in 1991 but lost to Lazio in 1999. Commentary comes from Clive Tyldesley and Jim Beglin, studio analysis from Andy Townsend and Robbie Earle, and pitchside reports from Gabriel Clarke. 10.00 All New TV’s Naughtiest Blunders Neil Morrissey introduces another selection of outtakes. Those in the frame include James Nesbitt, Martin Kemp, the casts of Fat Friends and Bad Girls, rockers Status Quo, Chris Tarrant, and glamour model Linda Lusardi. ‘Glamour’ doesn’t seem to mean what it once did. 11.00 The Late News; Weather 11.45 Bingo Night Live 12.55am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime 1.45 FILM: Drive Me Crazy (1999) 3.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.00 CITV: Jim Jam and Sunny (x5)
6.00 Home and Away Can Matilda and Ric make a long-distance relationship work? He’s already strayed once. Watch out, girl. 6.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. 7.00 Five News 7.15 Cricket on Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights from the third one day international between England and South Africa at the Brit Oval. 8.00 Superstars Steve Redgrave leads his White team against Kelly Holmes’s Reds to fight for the 2008 Superstars title. After eight exciting events, will it be the knight or the Dame to take the crown? Sounds like a sub-story of Camelot. 9.00 NCIS A dead marine is discovered at the bottom of a cliff whilst on a camping trip with his wife and best friend, who had been having an affair. Motives galore! 10.00 Law and Order: Special Victims Unit A serial killer taunts the squad with clues leading them to his next victim. Eeny, meeny, miny... 11.00 Law and Order When one half of a two-man gambling corporation turns up dead, Briscoe and Green go after his partner. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.30 Game Ranger Diaries 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home and Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Pipeline Adventures 9.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 10.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Johnnie Walker Championship 1.00pm Motor Sport 2.00 Barclays Premier League World 2.30 Irish Showjumping Premier Series 3.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Johnnie Walker Championship 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Golf Night 10.30 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 11.30 NFL: Total Access 12.30am Golf Night 3.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 4.00 International Cricket
Sky Sports 3 8.00am British BMX Championships 2008 8.30 Irish Showjumping Premier Series 9.00 Race World 10.00 Motor Sport 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Race World 1.00 NFL: Total Access 2.00 NFL 4.00 WWE: Raw 6.00 LIVE Rugby Union: Currie Cup 8.00 NFL 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Rugby Union: Currie Cup 3.00 Tight Lines 4.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 4.30 Pipeline Adventures 5.00 British Rally Championship
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky One
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
1.00pm Stargate SG-1 (x2) 3.00 Stargate Atlantis 4.00 Gladiators: Semi-Finals (x2) 6.00 Malcolm in the Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 TV’s 50 Hardest Men 11.00 Inside... 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.55 Weeds 2.30 Tenerife Uncovered 3.25 Scare Tactics
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Spendaholics 9.00 Dawn Gets Naked 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (x2) 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am The Wrong Door 12.45 How Not to Live Your Life 1.15 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (x2) 2.15 Dawn Gets Naked
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 A Seaside Parish 8.00 The Passions of Vaughan Williams 9.30 Cambridge Folk Festival 2008: Seth Lakeman, plus Noah & the Whale 10.00 Martha Wainwright Feat Devon Sproule 10.30 Imagined Village 11.00 The Avengers (x2). See highlights 12.40am Call the Cops
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 The X Factor 8.00 Xtra Factor 9.00 FILM: Runaway Bride (1999) 11.15 FILM: The Silence Of The Lambs (1991) 1.30am Bionic Woman
12.05pm The Wonder Years (x2) 1.10 Heartbeat 2.10 Agatha Christie’s Partners in Crime 3.20 Quincy, ME 4.20 Cadfael 6.00 Heartbeat 7.00 The Wonder Years (x2) 8.00 The Queen 10.00 Wire in the Blood 12.00am Agatha Christie’s Partners in Crime 1.00 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries
2.15pm Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Wife Swap 10.00 Wife Swap: the Aftermath 10.35 How to Look Good Naked 11.05 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.35 Big Brother: Live 12.00am Big Brother: Live
2.00pm ER 3.00 Hill Street Blues 4.00 A Place in the Sun (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show with Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: Far From Heaven (2002) 11.00 Sex in the Noughties: Dear Deidre 12.00am Live from Abbey Road
12.50pm Maury 1.45 The Fix 2.00 Bewitched (x2) 3.00 Blood Ties 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will and Grace (x2) 8.00 Most Haunted Live: Total Darkness 1.00am Will and Grace (x2) 2.00 Extreme: Skinny Celebrities 3.00 Out of Practice 3.25 Out of Practice
UK TV Gold
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
1.55pm Only Fools and Horses 3.25 What a Carry On! 4.00 Doctor Who 5.00 Sorry! 5.40 My Family 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 Last of the Summer Wine 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 The Thin Blue Line 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 10.40 The Good Life 11.20 Steptoe and Son 12.15am What a Carry On!
4.00pm The King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs 9.30 The Sarah Silverman Programme 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.10 Not Going Out 11.50 Stacked 12.50am Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned
3.00pm Deadliest Catch: Lobstermen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How it’s Made 7.30 How do They do It? 8.00 Crime Scene Australia 9.00 Deranged Killers 10.00 A Haunting 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Unsolved Murders 12.30 Crime Scene USA
12.05pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Jason And The Argonauts (2000) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Quantum Leap 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Angel 9.00 Heroes 10.00 Heroes 11.00 FILM: Escape From LA (1996) 12.50am FILM: Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)
1.55pm King Kong Vs Godzilla (1962) 3.35 The Blue Dahlia (1946) 5.20 The Devil And Miss Jones (1941) 7.00 Billion Dollar Brain (1967) 9.00 Operation Petticoat (1959) 11.05 In Cold Blood (1967) 1.20am King Kong Vs Godzilla (1962) 3.10 The Blue Dahlia (1946)
9.00am Brotherhood (2004) 11.30 Seven Swords (2005) 1.55pm Ballets Russes 4.05 An Inconvenient Truth (2006) 5.45 Lemming (2005) 8.00 Wilde (1997) 10.00 Eyes Wide Shut (1999) 12.40am Body Heat (1981) 2.45 London To Brighton (2006) 4.30 Indie Close-Up 5.00 Sky Movies Preview
1.00pm The Loves Of Carmen (1948) 2.50 Ten Tall Men (1951) 4.45 The Quiet Man (1952) 7.05 Guillermo Del Toro on Hellboy II 7.15 The Man Who Knew Too Little (1997) 9.00 Walk The Line (2005) Biopic of Johnny Cash starring Joaquin Phoenix. 11.35 Running Scared (2005) 1.55am Deathwatch (2002)
9.10am Murder Most Foul (1964) 10.45 Julius Caesar (1953) 1.00pm The Prince And The Pauper 3.00 That Forsyte Woman (1949) 5.00 It Started With A Kiss (1959) 6.50 Never So Few (1959) 9.00 Brainstorm (1983) 11.00 How The West Was Won (1962) 1.35am Treasure Island (1934)
Classics
Indie
041_LS387_TV_Sat
8/22/08
11:50 AM
Page 1
saturday 30 The X Factor ITV, 7.10pm The ‘talent’ search continues. This week’s highlights for a endof-the-pier laugh at the deluded are: a 43-year-old pizza delivery man who believes he is the next Michael Jackson and this year’s oldest contestant, who wants to prove he’s still got the X Factor at 80. Why do I like this show? Am I evil? Probably.
Pop Britannia BBC2, 10.10pm Three-part documentary telling the story of popular music and its place in British culture since the 1950s. This last part looks at the constant struggle between the forces of art and commerce. In the early 80s, punk-inspired art students such as The Human League and ABC took British pop to the top of the world.
An Audience With Neil Diamond ITV2, 6.10pm In his first UK TV special, Neil Diamond treats his showbiz fans including Dame Judi Dench, The Zutons, Alison Steadman, and Samantha Janus, plus viewers to his career-defining songs. ‘Sweet Caroline‘, ‘America‘ and ‘Love on the Rocks’. He also performs some new hits.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Masterchef The Professionals 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 Olympics Review: Beijing 2008 1.35 Rugby League: Challenge Cup 4.30 Final Score 5.15 BBC News 5.25 Regional News And Weather 5.30 After You’ve Gone
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Roar 8.00 Only In America 8.30 Secret Show 8.45 Secret Show 8.55 Bernard 9.00 Help! Teach Is Coming To Stay 10.00 50/50 10.25 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 10.30 Hot Rods 10.55 The Owl 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.30 Eliot Kid 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm The Rabbits Of Skomer 12.10 Animal Park 12.40 FILM: A Night To Remember (1958) 2.40 FILM: Dragonslayer (1981) 4.20 Murder, She Wrote 5.05 Britain From Above
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Jim Jam And Sunny 9.40 Captain Mack 9.55 Captain Mack 10.10 Supernormal 10.25 Drake And Josh 10.55 Finger Tips 11.15 Art Attack 11.40 Planet Sketch 11.45 ITV News And Weather 11.55 Meridian News And Weather 12.00pm Coronation Street Omnibus 1.45 FILM: Aces High (1977) 3.40 Inspector Morse 5.40 Meridian News And Weather 5.55 ITV News and Weather
6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 T-Mobile Transmission 9.30 Je Suis Un Rock Star 10.00 Big Brother 11.00 Big Brother 11.30 Friends 12.00pm Reaper 1.00 Scrubs 1.30 Scrubs 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Supernanny US 4.55 The Quest For The Lost Ark
6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.00 Big League Weekend 8.00 Off The Bar 9.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 LIVE Football League: Championship 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.15 LIVE Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports! 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x5) 4.15 Spanish Football 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
6.00 Last Choir Standing Search for Britain’s best choir. It’s the Grand Final, and the remaining choirs battle it out to be ‘Last Choir Standing’. 7.05 Weakest Link Special Anne Robinson in sarcastic comment shocker. Whizzy quiz. 8.00 The National Lottery – Big 7 A celebration of the good causes supported by the National Lottery over the past 14 years. 8.50 Last Choir Standing Results The final verdict is revealed. 9.20 The National Lottery – Big 7 10.00 BBC News National and international News, Weather. 10.25 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker introduces highlights from the day’s seven Premier League fixtures. 11.30 FILM: The Big Easy (1987) Starring Dennis Quaid, Ellen Barkin, Ned Beatty, Ebbe Smith, John Goodman and Lisa Persky. Colourful drama set in New Orleans, about the relationship which develops between a young police lieutenant and an uncompromising female DA who is unimpressed with the bribery and corruption rife in his department. A vicious gang war is also simmering and looks set to erupt at any moment, as the murder of a Mafia soldier is followed swiftly by the killing of three drug-dealing gangsters. 1.05am Weatherview 1.10 Joins BBC News
6.05 Coast Miranda Krestovnikoff joins the punters at a unique horse race by the sea and Alice Roberts is sent to the Irish salt mines. Neil Oliver finds an eyewitness to the untold story of the surrender of the German U-Boat fleet. 7.05 BBC Proms 2008: Vaughan Williams Anniversary Charles Hazlewood and Suzy Klein present highlights from a concert commemorating the 50th anniversary of the death of the great British composer Ralph Vaughan Williams. 8.40 Dad’s Army Classic sitcom. 9.10 Have I Got Old News For You Comedy quiz show. Guest panellists are economist and journalist Evan Davis and comic actor David Mitchell. 9.40 Mock The Week Two teams of comedians take a satirical swipe at the news and world events. 10.10 Pop Britannia See highlights 11.10 Comedy Connections Series charting the history of some of our best comedy shows. 11.50 FILM: Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) Starring Wilfrid Brambell, Harry Corbett. Second feature-length film based on the classic sitcom. A star-studded line-up of British comedy stars lend their support. 1.25am Arrested Development Comedy series 1.50 FILM: Vampire Circus (1971) Hammer horror
6.10 Funniest Ever You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill delves into the archive to present some of the most amusing footage filmed by the public, including the funniest weddings, dogs, teens, birthdays and performances caught on camera. 7.10 The X Factor See highlights. 8.10 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Celebrity Special First up is Dragons’ Den favourite Duncan Bannatyne and presenter Kirsty Gallagher to raise funds for NCH The Children’s Charity. 9.10 FILM: The Time Machine (2002) Starring Guy Pearce, Jeremy Irons, Samantha Mumba. Sci-fi fantasy adventure, based on the novel of the same name by HG Wells, in which a 19th century scientist builds a time machine in an attempt to prevent the murder of his fiance. But when he is sent 800,000 years into the future, he finds the world a very different place. 10.55 ITV News and Weather 11.10 That’s What I Call Television Fern Britton is joined by guest host Matthew Kelly, who selects his top TV shows, adverts and theme tunes from the 80s. 12.10am Bingo Night Live Play bingo for free! 1.20 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.10 FILM: The Long Run (2000) 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.25 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 6.50 FILM: Batman Forever (1995) Starring Val Kilmer. The caped crusader returns for another adventure, this time with the Boy Wonder in tow to help him fight villains Two-Face and the Riddler. His alter ego, billionaire Bruce Wayne, falls for beautiful psychologist Dr Chase Meridian, but she is more interested in Batman himself. Meanwhile, the Riddler discovers that Batman and Wayne are one and the same and uses this knowledge to devastating effect. 9.10 Big Brother Highlights.. 10.10 FILM: Bride And Prejudice (2004) Starring Aishwarya Rai, Martin Henderson. Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice is given the Bollywood treatment in this romantic musical comedy. Darcy, a Los Angeles hotel heir, arrives in Amritsar and soon insults his Indian hosts, with a young woman named Lalita being particularly appalled by his arrogant behaviour. 12.15am 4 Music: Live From Abbey Road. With appearances from The Subways, Gnarls Barkley, Corinne Bailey Rae and Herbie Hancock. 1.20 Big Brother Live 4.25 St Elsewhere Morrison treats an injured astronaut who he has admired for years. 5.15 Countdown
7.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.05 Little Princess 8.20 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.35 The Mr. Men Show 8.50 The Mr. Men Show 9.10 Rupert Bear 9.20 Animal Families 9.35 The Secret Of Eel Island 9.50 Little Lodgers 10.00 Britain’s Strongest Man 11.00 Superstars 12.00pm Monkey Life 12.30 Zoo Days 12.35 FILM: Lone Star State Of Mind (2002) 2.20 FILM: Mystery Woman: Vision Of A Murder (2005) 4.05 FILM: The Taking Of Pelham One Two Three (1974) 6.00 FILM: Two Mules For Sister Sara (1970) Starring Clint Eastwood, Shirley MacLaine. Whimsical but engaging Western about a drifter who saves a woman from a gang of marauders. To his amazement she turns out to be a nun, and he has another surprise when he catches her smoking a cigar and knocking back the whisky. The unlikely pair embark on a voyage of discovery as they become embroiled in the Mexican War. 7.55 Five News and Sport National and international headlines. 8.10 NCIS Drama series following a team of special agents who investigate crimes connected to Navy and Marine Corps personnel. McGee breaks the rules to help his sister after she shows up at his apartment bloody and disorientated. 9.10 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation The CSIs investigate when an actress is killed on the set of a horror film. 10.10 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series. A worldrenowned physicist tries to avoid humiliation by resorting to murder. 11.10 The FBI Files Documentary series charting the work of the FBI’s crime laboratory. 12.10am Quiz Call Interactive quiz 4.30 Game Ranger Diaries 5.10 Everybody Hates Chris 5.35 Everybody Hates Chris
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 LIVE Rugby Union 8.30 LIVE Rugby Union 10.30 International Cricket 12.30pm Gillette World Sport 1.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Johnnie Walker Championship 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 LIVE Grand Prix Speedway 9.00 Golf Night 11.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 12.00am NFL: Total Access 1.00 LIVE International Cricket
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Race World 7.00 Golf Night 9.30 Gillette World Sport 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 1.30 LIVE Pro40 League 7.30 Gillette World Sport 8.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 8.30 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 Rugby League: Challenge Cup Final 12.00am Rugby Union 2.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 3.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 5.00 Rugby League: Challenge Cup Final
Alison Swann
extraterrestrial Sky One
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
3.00pm Malcolm In The Middle (x3) 4.30 Futurama (x3) 6.00 Gladiators: Finals 7.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 Road Wars (x2) 11.00 Street Wars 12.00am FILM: Mission: Impossible (1996) 2.10 Road Wars Half Hours 2.35 The Villa 3.25 Mile High 4.15 Ibiza Uncovered
7.00pm TV Gaffes Galore 7.10 The Real Hustle (x2) 8.10 Almost Famous 9.10 The Most Annoying Couples We Love To Hate 11.40 Family Guy (x2) 12.25am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.20 Britain’s Really Disgusting Foods 2.20 The Wrong Door 2.50 Spooks: Code 9
7.00pm Coal House 7.30 Jane Eyre 8.30 Jane Eyre 9.30 Outnumbered 10.00 Takin’ Over The Asylum 10.50 Takin’ Over The Asylum 11.40 Hold Me Tight, Let Me Go 1.20am Travellers’ Century (x3) 4.20 Close
2.25pm Nanny 911 3.25 American Princess 4.25 All Star Family Fortunes 5.10 Xtra Factor 6.10 An Audience With Neil Diamond 7.10 Animals Do The Funniest Things 8.10 Xtra Factor 9.10 The Passions Of...Girls Aloud 10.10 FILM: The Silence Of The Lambs (1991) 12.25am The X Factor
12.50pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.05 FILM: The Taming Of The Shrew (1967) 5.30 Cadfael 7.05 Inspector Morse 9.00 Taggart 10.30 FILM: The Browning Version (1994) 12.30am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.30 Cagney And Lacey 3.20 Savage Planet 3.50 Film File 4.00 Teleshopping
8.55am Roswell 9.50 Ghost Whisperer 10.40 Dark Angel 11.35 Roswell 12.30pm Big Brother: Live 2.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.55 Friends (x3) 6.25 Big Brother 7.30 Big Brother 8.00 Friends (x3) 9.30 FILM: Big Trouble In Little China (1986) 11.25 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 12.30am Big Brother: Live
12.35pm Time Team 1.35 FILM: The Four Feathers (1939) 3.45 3 Minute Wonder: Shoeshine Stories (x2) 3.55 Property Ladder (x5) 9.10 The Great Wall Of China 11.30 The West Wing 12.30am The Great Wall Of China 2.40 Property Ladder 3.40 Close
12.00pm Diet On The Dancefloor 1.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 2.00 The Steve Wilkos Show 2.55 The Jerry Springer Show (x4) 4.55 The Fix 5.00 Make Me A Supermodel US 6.00 FILM: Ghostbusters II (1989) 8.00 Most Haunted Live: Total Darkness 1.00am Kath And Kim (x2) 2.00 Extreme: Skinny Celebrities
UK TV Gold
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
3.30pm The Good Life 4.10 Keeping Up Appearances 4.50 The Good Life 5.30 Keeping Up Appearances 6.10 Dinnerladies 6.50 Alistair McGowan’s Big Impression 7.10 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 9.00 FILM: Cold Mountain (2003) 11.45 French And Saunders 12.25am The Ruby In The Smoke
4.00pm The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 8.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 9.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x7) 2.40am Kitchen Confidential 3.10 Sexy Cam 3.30 Linc’s
12.00pm Deadliest Catch (x3) 3.00 Bone Detectives (x2) 5.00 China’s ManMade Marvels 6.00 Mega Builders 7.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 FILM: White Squall (1996) 11.30 Deadliest Catch 12.30am Crime Scene USA: Suburban Secrets 1.00 Most Evil
2.00pm FILM: Disaster Zone: Volcano In New York (2006) 3.50 FILM: Journey To The Centre Of The Earth (1999) 5.40 FILM: Journey To The Centre Of The Earth (1999) 7.30 FILM: Flash Gordon (1980) 9.40 FILM: Vampire In Brooklyn (1995) 11.40 FILM: Minotaur (2006) 1.30am FILM: Mary Reilly (1996)
1.15pm The Seven Year Itch (1955) 3.10 Dead Heat On A Merry-Go-Round (1966) 5.10 House Of Bamboo (1955) 7.00 Modern Greats And Classics Close-Up 7.30 Niagara (1952) 9.00 The Seven Year Itch (1955) 10.50 Some Like It Hot (1959) 1.00am The Glenn Miller Story (1954)
10.40am When We Were Kings (1996) 12.20pm Shooting Fish (1997) 2.20 The Tango Lesson (1997) 4.20 Trekkies 6.00 When We Were Kings (1996) 7.45 Tell No One (2006) 10.00 The Big Lebowski (1998) 12.00am I Want You (1998) 1.30 Running With Scissors (2006)
1.00pm The Man Who Knew Too Little (1997) 2.45 Campbell’s Kingdom (1958) 4.45 Guillermo Del Toro On Hellboy II 4.55 Move Over, Darling (1963) 6.55 Baby Boom (1987) 9.00 Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000) 11.05 Vault Of Horror (1973) 12.45am Picnic At Hanging Rock (1975) 3.10 Close
11.00am Honky Tonk (1941) 1.00pm Little Women (1933) 3.00 Summer Stock (1950) 5.00 The Wreck Of The Mary Deare (1959) 6.55 Scaramouche (1952) 9.00 Diner (1982) 11.05 The Prodigal (1955) 1.10am Never Say Goodbye (1946) 2.55 Ransom (1956) 5.00 The White Cliffs Of Dover (1944)
Classics
Indie
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12:32 PM
Page 1
sunday 31 Martin Clunes: A Man And His Dogs ITV1, 9pm Tonight, Martin Clunes seeks to understand why the link between man and beast has survived over centuries, despite the relative redundancy of a dog’s primary importance to its owner. He also looks into the terrible, hidden price pets pay for generations of pedigree inbreeding.
Metallica: A Culture Show Special BBC2, 11pm On the eve of the release of Death Magnetic, their first album for five years, hard rock giants Metallica grant Verity Sharp up close and personal access in Norway during their summer tour of Europe. In revealing interviews the band discuss their origins and turbulent history.
The Funny Side Of The Street ITV2, 6.30pm A celebration of Coronation Street’s comedy tradition, with insights into plots, one-liners and the characters. Wendi Peters and Bruce Jones spill the beans about filming the Battersby wedding. Plus watch out for Peter Kay’s memorable turn as hapless drayman Eric Gartside.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 7.50 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Sunday Life 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm BBC News 12.05 EastEnders 2.00 Sarah Jane Adventures 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Last Choir Standing 5.10 Weakest Link Special
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Roar 8.00 Mona The Vampire 8.10 The Owl 8.15 What’s New Scooby Doo? 8.35 Stupid 9.00 SMart 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Animal Park 12.30pm Moto GP: Round 13 – Misano 2.15 Athletics 2008: British Grand Prix 5.30 Wild
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Championship 10.25 Captain Mack 10.40 Horrid Henry 10.55 Finger Tips 11.10 Art Attack 11.35 Drake And Josh 12.05pm ITV News And Weather 12.15 Meridian News And Weather 12.20 Planet’s Funniest Animals 12.35 The X Factor 1.35 FILM: Out Of Africa (1985) 4.30 Martin Clunes: A Man And His Dogs 5.30 Country Lives
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 Trans World Sport 7.30 The British Formula 3 International Series 7.55 The Highlander Challenge World Championship 8.55 Friends 9.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.00pm Big Brother’s Little Brother 1.00 4Music Presents: Alicia Keys 1.50 Friends 2.20 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 3.20 Friends 3.55 The Simpsons 4.25 The Simpsons 4.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.45 Deadliest Catch
7.00 Mio Mao 7.05 The Save-Ums! 7.25 Franny’s Feet 7.40 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 7.55 Little Princess 8.10 Miss Spider’s Sunny Patch Friends 8.25 The Mr. Men Show 8.40 The Mr. Men Show 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.10 Animal Families 9.30 George Shrinks 10.00 Highland Emergency 10.30 Animal Rescue Squad 10.50 Fifth Gear 11.50 FILM: Wyoming Renegades (1955) 1.10pm FILM: The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938) 3.10 FILM: The Odyssey (1997)
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Ford Football Special 3.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 4.00 Spanish Football
6.00 Dragons’ Den Romi Parmar hopes to woo with his 3G dating agency for mobile phones while seventy-six year old Ian Mann has a range of coloured labels to help prevent lost luggage. Eye rolling all round everyone. 7.00 Earth: The Power Of The Planet Geography series with Dr Iain Stewart. Iain travels to Meteor Crater in Arizona to explore the atmosphere’s role in protecting us from bombardment by meteorites. 8.00 Top Gear The very latest Top Gear news and views from the team. 9.00 The Conspiracy Files Investigating Britain’s worst terrorist attack during Christmas 1988. Twenty years on, will the full story of Pan Am Flight 103 finally emerge? 10.00 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker introduces highlights from the day’s Premier League fixtures. 11.00 Metallica: A Culture Show Special See highlights 11.30 FILM: Chopper (2000) Starring Eric Bana.Gory mock documentary about the Australian criminal turned bestselling author Mark ‘Chopper’ Read, chronicling his time in prison where his best friend turned against him after a violent encounter with a crime boss. On his release years later, he sets out to seek vengeance against his erstwhile friend and keep an eye on his prostitute girlfriend. 1.00am Joins BBC News
6.00 Meridian News And Weather Local news and weather. 6.15 ITV News and Weather 6.30 Animals Do The Funniest Things Elephant orchestra, a bird that can moonwalk, pigs that can fly. 7.30 Coronation Street Teresa watches on guiltily as Jerry fights for his life. Amber becomes a pawn in David’s devious games. 8.00 Heartbeat After an explosion in the woods, rumours spread that a meteorite has landed in Aidensfield. 9.00 Martin Clunes: A Man And His Dogs See highlights 10.00 ITV News and Weather 10.20 TV’s Naughtiest Blunders Outtakes and unbleeped bloopers. 11.20 Faith In The Frame Melvyn Bragg chairs a discussion on the religious themes and relevance of ten of the world’s most fascinating religious pictures. In this edition, the painting is The Resurrection by Stanley Spencer, a vision of heaven on earth painted between 1924 and 1927 and set in his local churchyard 11.50 Vicars’ Wives Series following the busy lives of three clergy wives from the South Coast. 12.20am 60 Minute Makeover 1.10 Vanessa’s Real Lives Today 2.00 Coming Home. Adaptation of Rosamunde Pilcher’s novel 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.45 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.00 The Sculpture Diaries Waldemar Januszczak presents a definitive account of his favourite art-form, sculpture. He meets some of the most revered contemporary sculptors, and tries to demonstrate why the art-form will always be at the heart of our cultural lives. In the first episode, Waldemar looks at how women are represented in sculpture. 8.00 Wife Swap Full-time parent Emma Payne swaps families with sweetshop owner Sam Zendel-Ellis. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights. 10.00 FILM: Final Destination 2 (2002) Starring Ali Larter. Tongue-incheek teen horror. A teenage girl has a premonition about a motorway pileup and blocks the road in order to save people. 11.40 The Incredible Will & Greg Rising comedy duo Will Andrews and Greg McHugh’s sketch show featuring a hypnotic dancing matador and the Dr Frank, who cures a woman who has not spoken for three years whilst at the same time staging a three-act play about a hippie with a lisp. 12.15am Back To You Sitcom starring sitcom veterans Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton. 12.45 Big Brother Live 4.20 Make Me A Christian 5.20 Bennetts British Superbike Championship
6.00 Extraordinary People: The Woman With Giant Legs This film profiles Mandy Sellars, a woman with a bizarre condition that has left her with legs four times larger than those of the average person. 7.00 Five News And Sport National and international headlines. 7.15 Cricket On Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights from the fourth one day international between England and South Africa at Lord’s. 8.00 Rory & Paddy’s Great British Adventure Comedians Rory McGrath and Paddy McGuinness travel the UK in a camper van in search of strange sporting events. This week they succeed as the pair engage in a spot of toe wrestling in Derbyshire. 9.00 FILM: A Perfect Murder (1998) Starring Michael Douglas, Gwyneth Paltrow. Taut thriller in which a coldblooded commodities trader, on the verge of losing his fortune, hires someone to kill his rich young wife. Adapted from the play Dial M for Murder, famously brought to the big screen in 1954 by Alfred Hitchcock. 11.10 Banged Up Abroad Drama-documentary series telling the real-life stories of travellers who find themselves incarcerated overseas. 12.10am Urban Legends 12.40 Major League Baseball 4.20 ITU Triathlon 5.10 Everybody Hates Chris x 2
6.00 Songs Of Praise Aled Jones concludes his tour of British cathedral cities with a visit to Edinburgh. 6.35 Keeping Up Appearances Hyacinth decides to share her experience of being a perfect hostess 7.05 Last Of The Summer Wine A heavily-chained Lenny is convinced he has a future in showbusiness as an escapologist. 7.35 BBC News National and international news, Weather. 8.00 Pacific Abyss Kate Humble sets sail on a 2,000 mile adventure across the Pacific with a team of top natural history filmmakers and deep water marine biologists. 9.00 Fiona’s Story One-off drama. A woman fights to hold her family together after her husband is accused of downloading images of child sexual abuse from the internet. . 10.30 BBC News National and international news, Weather. 10.50 FILM: Half Nelson (2006) Drama about a New York school teacher who, by day, teaches dialectics to inner city kids in his unorthodox history class. By night, however, he wrestles with emptiness and a spiralling drug habit that threatens to swallow him whole. 12.30am Weatherview 12.35 Sign Zone: Pacific Abyss 1.35 My Zinc Bed Uma 2.45 Holby City 3.45 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 4.30 Joins BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE International Cricket 9.30 Gillette World Sport 10.00 Sky Sports Classics 10.30 LIVE International Cricket 3.00pm LIVE International Cricket 7.00 International Cricket 8.00 Wild Spirits 8.30 LIVE IndyCar Series 11.00 International Cricket 1.00am LIVE NASCAR 5.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Wild Spirits 6.30 Rugby League: Challenge Cup Final 7.30 Spanish Football 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Carp Academy 2008 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Live European Tour Golf: Johnnie Walker Championship 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 LIVE Golf Night: Live 7.00 Golf Night 10.30 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 11.30 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.30am WWE Vintage Collection 1.30 International Cricket (x2) 4.30 Close
Alison Swann
extraterrestrial Sky One
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
12.00pm Gladiators: Finals 1.00 Futurama 1.30 Futurama 2.00 Celebrity Gladiators 3.00 The Simpsons (x8) 7.00 Hairspray: The School Musical 8.00 Gladiators: The Legends Return 9.30 FILM: Mission: Impossible (1996) 11.40 TV’s 50 Hardest Men 1.40am Street Wars 2.35 The Villa
7.00pm The Real Hustle (x2) 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Spooks: Code 9 9.50 Family Guy (x2) 10.35 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 11.35 How Not To Live Your Life 12.05am The Wrong Door 12.35 Don’t Tell The Bride 1.35 Spooks: Code 9 2.25 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2)
7.00pm Proms On Four 2008: Lang Lang 8.40 Juliet Bravo 9.30 Outnumbered 10.00 Call The Cops 10.30 My New Best Friend (x3) 1.30am Call The Cops 2.00 Proms On Four 2008: Lang Lang 3.40 Close
1.15pm Emmerdale Omnibus 4.00 Emmerdale Uncut 4.30 Coronation Street Omnibus 6.30 The Funny Side Of The Street 7.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 8.00 The X Factor 9.00 Xtra Factor 10.00 FILM: The Thomas Crown Affair (1999) 12.15am Coronation Street 12.50 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl (x2)
12.00pm Rising Damp 12.30 Agatha Christie’s Poirot - Hercule Poirot’s Christmas 2.40 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x2) 7.00 Dempsey And Makepeace 8.00 Profiling Val McDermid 9.00 FILM: The Browning Version (1994) 11.00 Profiling Val McDermid 12.00am Dempsey And Makepeace
12.30pm FILM: Star Trek: Nemesis (2001) 2.35 Big Brother: Live 3.55 Friends (x3) 5.25 Big Brother 6.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.25 Friends (x3) 9.00 Wife Swap: The Aftermath 9.30 How To Look Good Naked 10.00 Big Brother’s Diary Room Uncut 11.00 Shameless 12.10am Big Brother: Live
9.00am Scrapheap Challenge (x4) 1.10pm A Place In The Sun 1.45 The Coach Trip (x5) 4.30 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.25 Jamie At Home 7.55 Medicine Men Go Wild 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 10.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 11.05 Father Ted (x2) 12.15am Trigger Happy TV
12.00pm Make Me A Supermodel US 1.00 FILM: Ghostbusters II (1989) 3.00 Maury (x3) 5.35 The Jerry Springer Show 6.00 Diet On The Dancefloor 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Most Haunted Live: Total Darkness 1.00am Kath And Kim (x2) 2.00 Lois And Clark: The New Adventures Of Superman
UK TV Gold
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
3.25pm The Vicar Of Dibley 4.05 Keeping Up Appearances 4.45 Dinnerladies 5.25 The Vicar Of Dibley 6.05 The Good Life 6.45 The Vicar Of Dibley 8.00 FILM: SpiderMan (2002) 10.20 French And Saunders 11.00 Absolutely Fabulous (x2) 12.20am Robin Hood (x3) 3.00 Hamish Macbeth
9.00am The King Of Queens (x24) 9.00pm Scrubs 9.30 The Sarah Silverman Programme 10.00 Sex And The City (x10) 3.15 Sexy Cam 3.30 The King Of Queens (x3) 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life In Film (x2) 5.10 The King Of Queens (x2)
2.00pm Deadliest Catch 3.00 FILM: White Squall (1996) 5.30 Deadliest Catch 6.30 New Series Preview: Autumn Line-Up 7.00 Elite Forces 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 Real ER: The Bronx 10.00 Deranged Killers 11.00 A Haunting 12.00am Crime Scene USA: North Mission Road 12.30 Suburban Secrets
11.00am Thunderbirds 12.10pm FILM: Coneheads (1993) 1.50 FILM: Flash Gordon (1980) 4.00 FILM: Weird Science (1985) 5.50 Thunderbirds 6.55 Thunderbirds 8.00 FILM: Shadow () 10.00 Heroes 11.00 Heroes 12.00am FILM: Death Row (2006) 1.50 Thunderbirds 3.00 The Making Of Tin Man
3.10pm The Poseidon Adventure (1972) 5.10 Modern Greats And Classics Close Up 5.40 The Lost Weekend (1945) 7.25 Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969) 9.00 The Spy Who Came In From The Cold (1965) 10.55 The Poseidon Adventure (1972) 1.05am Topaz (1969)
10.45am New Police Story (2004) 12.50pm The Castle (1998) 2.35 The Escapist (2001) 4.25 Ten Canoes (2006) 6.10 Neil Young: Heart Of Gold 7.55 New Police Story (2004) 10.00 The Castle (1998) 11.30 Ong-Bak (2004) 1.20am This Year’s Love (1998) 3.20 The Escapist (2001)
1.00pm Baby Boom (1987) 3.10 Joe Wright On David Lean 3.15 Winchester 73 (1950) 5.00 Joe Wright On David Lean 5.10 Carpool (1996) 7.00 Jungle 2 Jungle (1997) 9.00 Batman (1989) 11.25 In The Cut (2003) 1.40am Onegin (1999) 3.45 Close
11.05 The Perfect Specimen (1937) 1.00pm The Great Caruso (1951) 3.00 On The Town (1949) 4.50 The Year Of Living Dangerously (1982) 6.55 Meet Me In St Louis (1944) 9.00 North By Northwest (1959) 11.25 Night Must Fall (1964) 1.15am The Secret Of My Success (1965) 3.00 Adventures Of Tartu (1943)
Classics
Indie
043_LS387_TV_Mon
8/22/08
12:01 PM
Page 1
monday 1 september Legends BBC2, 7pm Profile of jazz singer Ella Fitzgerald. Looking at her 50-year career from her winning turn at the Harlem Apollo’s amateur night in 1934, through her rise as the definitive exponent of scat singing, her Songbook albums and triumphant stage career which continued almost up until her death in 1996.
The Children ITV1, 9pm Tense three-part drama starring Kevin Whately. When the body of an eight-year-old girl is discovered in a garden, the chain of events leading up to her death begins to emerge. Six months earlier three couples embark on exciting new relationships, blissfully unaware of the consequences that this will have.
Spooks: Code 9 BBC3, 10.30pm Drama series set in 2013 and centred around a northern-based MI5 team. A bank heist by eco terrorists, involving a 16-year-old suicide bomber, leads the team to uncover a secret deal between the British government and a Korean billionaire. Will the team be able to stop the terrorists from completing their deadly mission?
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Open House 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today; Weather 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Lazytown 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.00 The Owl 4.05 Gina’s Laughing Gear 4.35 Grange Hill 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
7.35 Trapped 8.05 Mortified 8.30 Bob The Builder 9.00 Mister Maker 9.20 Something Special – Out And About 9.40 Little Red Tractor 9.55 Pingu 10.00 In The Night Garden 10.30 What The Victorians Did For Us 10.35 FILM: Beautiful But Dangerous (1954) 12.00pm What Are You Like? 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Britain’s Dream Homes 2.15 Animal 24:7 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 2008 4.30 Eating With The Enemy 5.15 Wanted Down Under
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 A Touch Of Frost 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.10am The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.30 Big Brother 9.30 Frasier 10.00 ER 10.55 Ugly Betty 11.50 Proud Parents 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Will And Grace 1.00 FILM: The Spy In Black (1939) 2.30 Desperate Housewives 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x4) 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 11.00 Spanish Football 1.00pm Ford Football Special 2.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 3.00 Spanish Football 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.30 LIVE Elite League Speedway 9.30 You’re On Sky Sports! 11.00 Big League Weekend 12.30am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 Big League Weekend 3.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.00 You’re On Sky Sports! 5.30 Close
6.00 BBC News The latest national and international news; Weather. 6.30 South East Today; Weather Local news and weather. 7.00 The One Show Stories from around the country. 7.30 The Green Green Grass Sitcom spin-off from Only Fools and Horses featuring Boycie and Marlene. 7.57 BBC News And Regional News Bulletin from the BBC. 8.00 EastEnders Dawn struggles following Jase’s death. 8.30 Panorama Current affairs. Jeremy Vine presents personal stories of regular Britons affected by the credit crunch. 9.00 New Tricks Drama series featuring an eccentric bunch of expolicemen, brought out of retirement to investigate unsolved crimes. 10.00 BBC News National and international news. 10.25 South East Today; Weather Local news and weather 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Britain’s Really Disgusting Foods A search for the most disgusting thing ever eaten. 11.35 FILM: Gladiatress (2004) Sword-and-sandals comedy. 1.00am Weatherview. 1.05 Sign Zone: Who Do You Think You Are? Patsy Kensit. 2.05 Fiona’s Story 3.35 The Cup 4.05 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 4.50 Joins BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz i 6.30 Masterchef The Professionals Chef Michel Roux Jnr and vegetable expert Gregg Wallace are on the hunt for a young chef who wants to make it to the top of the culinary world. 7.00 Legends See highlights. 8.00 University Challenge St John’s College Cambridge take on Lincoln College Oxford. 8.30 The Hairy Bakers Pies and pasties take the Hairy Bikers on their longest trip in this baking series, from Cornwall to Scotland. 9.00 Dragons’ Den An ingenious radiator made to fit and look like a traditional skirting board. 10.00 Would I Lie To You? Comedy panel show, with Angus Deayton. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis. 11.20 The Last Word Monologues Contemplative comedy-drama series. 11.50 The Last Word Monologues A farmer tries to find a way to free himself from the yoke of a dominating mother. 12.20am The Last Word An assassin waits in a public lavatory 12.50 Ellery Queen Author and amateur detective. 1.40 Joins BBC News 4.00 Deutsch Plus
6.00 Meridian Tonight Local news and weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News and Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jo blames herself for Andy’s ill health. Marlon and Paddy attempt to sabotage what they think are Jamie’s cabbages. Nicola tries to use Belle to get another story out of Rodney. 7.30 Coronation Street Gail’s worried Tina will discover her romantic secret. 8.00 To Sir With Love: Tonight Should teachers always be prosecuted for having relationships with their pupils? 8.30 Coronation Street Teresa faces the consequences of her actions. A flirty Nina taunts a guilty Dev. 9.00 The Children See highlights. 10.00 News At Ten and Weather National and local news; weather. 10.35 FILM: Police Academy (1984) When the mayor of a large American city lifts all entry restrictions on joining the police force, a flock of misfits are given the chance to prove their worth. 12.25am British Touring Car Championship Highlights 1.20 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: fight to save lives. 2.15 Loose Women 3.00 Moving Day x2 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons When Lisa becomes a finalist in a spelling bee, she is offered a bribe – a college scholarship – to throw the competition. 6.30 Hollyoaks A tipsy Hannah announces she is running for entertainments officer. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Night Haunts Series of films following those who work during the night. 8.00 Dispatches: Undercover Mosque A female Dispatches reporter goes undercover again to see whether extremist beliefs are still being promoted in certain British Muslim institutions. T 9.00 Kevin McCloud And The Big Town Plan Kevin McCloud follows a community-led regeneration scheme in a former mining town in Yorkshire. Over the course of five years, local residents and agencies work with leading architects and designers in a bid to improve the area. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights 11.10 FILM: Indecent Proposal (1993) Robert Redford, Demi Moore, Woody Harrelson. Romantic drama about a couple whose relationship is threatened when the wife is offered a million dollars by a billionaire to spend one night with him. 1.10am Big Brother Live 4.25 FILM: The Lady Wants Mink
7.15 Mio Mao 7.25 Roary The Racing Car 7.35 The Mr. Men Show 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.50 Roobarb And Custard Too 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.35 Medical Investigation 12.30pm Five News 12.45 House 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Zoo Days 3.05 Five News Update 3.15 FILM: Murder In Greenwich (2002) 5.00 Five News And Sport 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Ric and Matilda argue. 6.30 Animal Rescue Squad . Michaela is in sunny California to assist with the care of a seriously injured sea lion. 7.00 Five News and Sport 7.30 Extraordinary Animals Maggie is a Jack Russell who may be able to count. This dog can solve simple challenges by tapping out the answer with her paw. But is Maggie a genuine animal genius or is she responding to cues from her owner? 8.00 Fifth Gear Motoring show. T 9.00 Extreme Fishing With Robson Green Documentary profiling the hottest fishing destinations around the globe. 10.00 Bruce Forsyth’s Comedy Heroes Bruce Forsyth presents a compilation of choice clips featuring his favourite comedians of all time. 11.05 FILM: Trespass (1992) Arkansas firemen learn from a dying man that he hid a stash of gold in a disused warehouse 50 years earlier. When they go in search of the loot, the pair unwittingly observe a murder carried out by the local mob. 2.05 NASCAR: The Sprint Cup 2.55 European Drag Racing 3.20 ITU Triathlon 4.10 Race And Rally UK 4.35 Motorsport Mundial 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pipeline Adventures 7.00 Golf Night 9.00 Golf Night 10.30 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 11.30 IndyCar Series 2.00pm NASCAR 4.30 Live Pro40 League 10.00 World Motor Sport 12.30am Carp Academy 2008 1.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close
Sky Sports 3 8.00am WWE The Bottom Line 9.00 International Cricket 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Pipeline Adventures 12.30 Golf Night 2.30 Golf Night 4.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Showjumping 8.00 Big League Weekend 9.30 Carp Academy 2008 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE Vintage Collection 1.00 Speedway 3.00 Close
Alison Swann
extraterrestrial Sky One
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
12.00pm Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 2.00 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 5.00 Hairspray: The School Musical 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs 10.00 FILM: Rocky (1976) 12.20am Road Wars (x2) 1.45 Australia Uncovered
7.00pm The Real Hustle (x2) 8.00 Freaky Eaters 9.00 Little Britain 9.30 The Wrong Door 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Spooks: Code 9 11.20 Family Guy (x2) 12.05am Fame Junkies 1.05 The Wrong Door 1.35 The Real Hustle (x2) 2.35 Spooks: Code 9 3.25 Don’t Tell The Bride 4.25 Close
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Proms On Four 2008: Gustav Mahler Youth Orchestra 9.30 Outnumbered 10.00 Life On Mars 11.00 Sleepers 11.50 More Dawn French’s Boys Who Do: Comedy 12.20am Rich Hall’s ‘How The West Was Lost’ 1.50 Proms On Four 2008: Gustav Mahler Youth Orchestra
2.35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Airline 8.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA (x2) 11.00 Coronation Street (x2) 12.00am FILM: Jurassic Park (1993)
5.00pm Goodnight Sweetheart 5.40 Heartbeat 6.40 Film File 6.50 Revisiting Brideshead 6.55 The Wonder Years (x2) 8.00 Wycliffe 9.00 Profiling Colin Dexter 10.00 Kevin Whately: Morse And Me 10.05 Inspector Morse 12.10am Profiling Colin Dexter 1.05 PD James: Shroud For A Nightingale
11.35am Gilmore Girls 12.30pm One Tree Hill 1.20 Big Brother 2.20 Big Brother: Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Shooting Britney 11.05 E17 Reunited 12.10am Big Brother: Live
4.30pm Location, Location, Location 5.35 Kirstie And Phil’s Property Guide 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Child Genius 10.00 Child Genius 11.10 Without A Trace 12.10am I Don’t Like Mondays
1.45pm The Fix 2.00 Criminal Minds 3.00 Blood Ties 4.00 Charmed 5.00 Charmed 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 7.55 The Fix 8.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 9.00 Make Me A Supermodel US 10.00 Criminal Minds (x2) 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
UK TV Gold
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
5.00pm One Foot In The Grave 5.40 My Family 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 The Thin Blue Line 9.00 Open All Hours 9.40 Porridge 10.20 The Good Life 11.00 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.40 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps 12.20am Shark
4.00pm The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.05 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x3) 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City 10.35 Sex And The City 11.10 Not Going Out 11.50 Two And A Half Men 12.20am Rules Of Engagement
3.00pm Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 American Chopper 9.00 American Chopper 10.00 Deadliest Catch 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Unsolved Murders 12.30 Crime Scene USA
12.05pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Frozen Impact (2002) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Angel 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Medium (x2) 10.00 FILM: Tremors (1990) 12.00am FILM: Vampire In Brooklyn (1995) 2.00 Medium 3.00 Angel 4.00 The Lost World
12.15pm 3.10 To Yuma (2007) 2.20 Modern Greats And Classics Close-Up 2.50 Joe Kidd (1972) 4.20 California (1946) 6.00 Shane (1953) 8.00 3.10 To Yuma (2007) 10.05 Joe Kidd (1972) 11.35 Soldier Blue (1970) 1.35am True Grit (1969) 3.45 Rooster Cogburn (1975)
10.45am 35mm 11.15 Best (1999) 1.15pm Tube Tales (1999) 3.00 Better Luck Tomorrow (2003) 4.45 Tsotsi (2005) 6.30 Whatever Happened To Harold Smith? (1999) 8.15 Still Crazy (1998) 10.00 Mulholland Falls (1996) 11.50 Body Count (1997) 1.30am Tube Tales (1999)
1.00pm Highly Dangerous (1950) 2.50 Joe Wright On David Lean 2.55 Good Morning, Miss Dove (1955) 5.00 Memoirs Of An Invisible Man (1992) 6.55 Guess Who (2005) 9.00 White Noise (2004) 10.55 The Accused (1988) 1.05am Little Fish (2005) 3.25 Close
10.55am The Barretts Of Wimpole Street (1934) 1.00pm Zigzag (1970) 3.00 Gigi (1958) 5.05 Mrs Soffel (1984) 7.05 Two Weeks In Another Town (1962) 9.00 Reckless (1984) 10.40 Brainstorm (1983) 12.35am The Last Run (1971) 2.20 Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse (1961)
Classics
Indie