Latest 7: Issue 393 - 8-14 October 2008

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10/3/08

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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk

★ jobs ★ cars ★ news ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 7–13 October 2008

FREE WEEKLY

secrets and lines actor alison steadman talks to latest 7

body beautiful win your own personal trainer

model city win a professional photoshoot with pynk studios

en pointe the trocks perform classical ballet with a unique twist at brighton dome page 7

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9/30/08

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Contents

Welcome

★ latest jobs 4

★ latest listings 21–29

4 Turn over a new leaf by bagging yourself

21 Reviews and listings index

If you were there, it was probably one of the most memorable events of the summer. Fatboy Slim played his fourth Big Beach Boutique to fantastic weather and a 20,000-strong crowd. If you missed it, you can read what our young reviewer made of it (p21) and see fabulous pictures from the gig in Jo Brooks’ CelebCity (p9).

Another one of the most memorable events this summer has been the Albion’s storming win against Man City. Peter Knight crows over the victory in Latest Sport (p14).

The Seagulls made a major announcement last week about their plans for Falmer Stadium – find out more in news (p12). Our big story this week is an interview with British star actor Alison Steadman. Andrew Kay met up with her when she appeared in Brighton recently, (p11).

Phil Mills has interviewed Pete Doherty’s teenage girlfriend – and found there’s a soft side to the bad boy Babyshambles frontman (p13) The hilarious and brilliantly talented Trocks are coming to town, I’ve heard this is going to be a hot ticket so make sure you get yours in early (p7).

We’ve got some brilliant prizes on offer this week. If you fancy getting in shape for Christmas, you could win ten sessions with a personal trainer, worth £400 (p19). Even if you don’t win, all our readers can apply to Body Balance Fitness for a free body MOT. Meanwhile, Tube Station Tanning is offering free sunbed sessions, see page 20 for details and how to apply to win a Banksy canvas.

More estate agents have been writing in about the city council’s draconian ban on their sales boards in conservation areas (p14).

Wondering what to do with your home?

Amber the lapdancer could have the answer – she is the Cheeky Boys’ new agony aunt (p10).

Sandra has been wondering why anyone would choose life without modelling (p8) while her pagemate Dani has been looking into the world’s weirdest phobias and concludes our biggest fear is fear itself.

Alison reckons all this credit crunch malarkey must be good for something and has decided it’s going to help give the planet a break (p5).

Have you started cycling to work yet?

One way of saving money is to ditch that family trip to Lapland (I know you were already booking the reindeer) and go to Lapland UK in Kent; you only have to travel as far as Bewl Water (p28).

Did you know that Harveys brewery still get most of their hops locally? No wonder the Lewes beer has such a unique flavour. Find out more about the trade in John Davies’ books column (p28). If one of our columnists makes you laugh or cry, don’t forget to drop us a line, they love getting mail. Have a good week. letters@thelatest.co.uk

an autumn job

★ latest upfront 5–10

What did our intrepid young reviewer make of Fatboy Slim?

24 Comedy Vicky asks funny heart-throb Tim Minchin why he’s loved by the girls

5 Alison’s going green 6 Social diary and competitions 7 The Trocks are at the Dome 8 Would Sandra ever give up modelling?

Not on your nelly. Meanwhile, Dani’s running scared

9 CelebCity: did anyone catch the gig by that Fatboy fella the other week?

10 Bare Cheek: Amber the lapdancer solves all your problems

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24 Art War – what is it good for?

25 Stage Melanchomedy and a South African Magic Flute

26 Film Linha de Passe interview and film times

28 Kids and events Book your trip to Lapland now

28 Books

★ latest news 11–14

The history of hop

29 Music Aussie singer Sia and sacred music

11 The Big Story: Andrew catches up with Alison Steadman

13 Phil Mills chats to Pete Doherty’s childhood sweetheart

14 Letters and sport

★ latest lifestyle 15–20 15 Food: Andrew tries some tasty treats 19 Health: a chance to win a personal trainer and claim a free body MOT.

20 Free sunbed session for every reader

Brighton Latest Download Chart

TOP

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40

33 Clubs and music listings Foot tapping or dirty disco dancing?

Find it all here

34 Gay Lesbian witchcraft, listings and Will’s waiting for his man

36 Television Dani hates Merlin. Plus seven days of TV listings – have you got your red pen?

and how to win a Banksy canvas

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9 29 7 01273

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Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith

Editor Rachel Pegg

Business Director Angi Mariani

Assistant Editor Zara Baker

Creative Director Andrew Kay

Website Manager Paul Burgess

Production Director Fiona McTernan

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Finance Manager Sharon Caple

Chief Sub Editor Alison Swann

Art Director Stephen King

Listings Editor Nick Aldwinckle

Production Manager Neil Ive

Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Staff Writers Craig Driver Dani Winch Designers Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer

Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Sales Lucy Kamper Sophie Longhurst Marie Viviani

36

Administration Claire Peerless

Sub Editors Joe Curtin Melina Greenfield Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

Rachel Pegg Latest 7 Editor

latest 7 3

004_LS393_Job Ads

2/10/08

11:06 AM

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JOBS & BUSINESS

Senior Branch Manager East Sussex Senior branch manager required for a highly successful flagship office. You should be able to demonstrate a successful track record in managing large teams and lead by example. Successful candidate may also have the opportunity to oversee other offices after a period of probation.

Property Manager Brighton We are looking for an experienced property manager to manage a portfolio specific to the Brighton area. You should have key knowledge of the management process along with issuing section 21 notices.

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4 latest jobs

email enquiries@lca-jobs.com

web www.lca-jobs.com

hundreds of jobs every week...

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10/1/08

5:46 PM

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ALISON’SCOLUMN

See more at thelatest.co.uk

Swanning around Alison Swann is hoping the hard times might just save the planet

Back to basics Energy saving has never been top of my list of activities. Actually finding energy has always been one of the bigger challenges. Energy to get out of bed in the morning, energy to have a shower, energy to get to the gym, energy to clean my flat, energy to call my mum, the list goes on…

That makes me sound like a right sloth. I’m not. But what I’m also not is one of those human Duracell batteries that leap around like an overactive child who’s run out of Ritalin.

I’ve been thinking about my carbon footprint and wonder how many footprints I make burning my toast every morning? And also that I might be more tempted to make the effort if it means I am going to save money, because right now, that is the big issue driving most people’s actions. If by default I can’t afford to put the heating on and have to either get my duvet out of the bedroom and snuggle up on the sofa, or find someone to get under the duvet with me, then so be it. And in doing so I’m adding to my green points. Right?

“I’m not one of those human Duracell batteries that leap around like an over-active child who’s run out of Ritalin” I have actually gone slightly bonkers over light conservation. Marching around the flat like a World War Two ARP warden shouting, “put that light out” the dog looks very startled and always claims it wasn’t him.

Anyway, I’ve decided to embrace the green scene at the same time as becoming a convert to thrifty living. In the vain hope that the fact I am saving the planet will make me feel better about shivering in the dark.

Fortunately my friends seem to be embracing a similar ethic and we have now got into a fairly regular weekend cycle where one friend’s house gets nominated, and we all descend, armed with bargain bin bottles and hungry bellies ready to eat from the one communal pot. This aids the smokers in the pack to stay in the same room – I am tired of shivering

outside pubs with mates who smoke. And with so many bodies warming up the room the host doesn’t even have to bother worrying about charging up that boiler and getting the home fires burning. Well maybe a little bit. This is not unusual; I read a report recently that said the best new place to eat out now is round at your friends. Well that does rather depend on your friends. If you are best mates with Nigella Lawson then you are probably going to get slightly better nosh than the mushroom soup my friend made in a credit crunch challenge cook off – made from discarded mushrooms at the London Road market. They were apparently well on their way to being soup before they even made it into the pan.

However, I am quite enjoying this all as a bit of a challenge and I’m getting quite good at it. I’ve abandoned cars and am now getting in tune with getting the best out of being organised, which the success of both budgeting and energy conservation seems to hinge on. Did you know if you book a week in advance you could get a single train ticket up to London for less than a fiver? When I go to visit my mum in Leicester, I normally just stumble out of bed and get to the station, hope for the best, get to London, get on the train to the Midlands; £64 quid down the swanny. Well more like out of the Swanny’s purse and into the laughing trainman’s fat pocket. Recently, I actually planned the time and exact train of travel. This is not normal. But it has meant I booked a ticket at half the usual price, and if I had been even more organised it would have been a third of the price, blimey.

There is definitely change afoot, it is no longer shameful to have a trolley load of basics range at the supermarket and Waitrose are now encouraging customers to buy “less well known cheap cuts.” So, as we’re all having to take on board the new rules of the game.

This pesky economic climate might just save the planet after all.

Comments? Get in touch: alison@thelatest.co.uk

latestcrossword Cryptic 164 ACROSS 1 Mix cider in pot – the astrologer’s art (10) 8 It’s not true what’s written (7) 9 Go in and start performance (5) 10 Annoy girl involved in strange rite (8) 11 Bird man is no saint (4) 13 Stone horse carrying old car men (6) 15 Girl that is a sportsman’s attendant (6) 17 Title not applicable to yours truly (4) 18 Amazing way to produce light reading (8) 21 Elude woman [die without one] (5) 22 Reduce crowding by breaking into hut (4,3) 23 The gentle approach to sensitivity (10)

solutions on page 34

Quick 164 DOWN 2 Queen joins car club as competitor (5) 3 Char swallows broken tin with delicacy (8) 4 Article held by likeable old king (6) 5 Thought of identity? Shortly Eva will have five to spare (4) 6 Musical character without affectation (7) 7 Enter river in a way that’s disrespectful (10) 8 Even-handed type who prefers blondes? (4-6) 12 Sort out the loft, then no one gets up a summons (8) 14 What’s left of crooked rent man (7) 16 Noise made by creature allowed to squirm (6) 19 Pressing items in the fire, perhaps (5) 20 Exist with article possibly French (4)

ACROSS 1 Boat-builder (10) 8 Satirise (7) 9 Furniture piece (5) 10 One-storey house (8) 11 Genuine (4) 13 Rock fragments (6) 15 Undergarment (6) 17 Long tooth (4) 18 Wall shrub (8) 21 Circular (5) 22 Cushion-like swellings (7) 23 Trifling behaviour (10)

DOWN 2 Of mankind (5) 3 Likely (8) 4 Price of redemption (6) 5 Entrance (4) 6 Upholstery material (7) 7 Grow worse (10) 8 Chemical workshop (10) 12 Cultivated (8) 14 Snack (7) 16 Failure (6) 19 Poet (5) 20 Cheese (4)

latest 7 5

006_LS393_Diary/Comps

10/3/08

9:42 AM

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LATESTDIARY

COMPETITIONS

latestdiary

IN IT TO WIN IT

With Tim Richardson

New DVDs up for grabs

On Wednesday 17 September one of the UK’s first dental hygiene clinics, Brighton’s Dental Health Spa, celebrated its first birthday by launching Spa White, a division focusing solely on tooth whitening. Guy and Andrea from Juice 107.2 both happily volunteered to have a bespoke set of trays created which allows them to use poladay and polanight which is a takehome tooth whitening treatment.

Practice director, Christina Chatfield, says: “Many customers have experienced long delays in getting to see a hygienist and as a result could be at risk of gum disease. At Dental Health Spa we are committed to delivering treatments that safeguard the health of our patients teeth and with the addition of Spa White, increase oral confidence.

Visit Dental Health Spa at 14–15 Queens Road, Brighton Call 01273 710831 for more info.

Christina Chatfield (practice director), Emma Smith, Angela Emery, Chloe, Burrough, Lindsay Ford, Madalyne Tucker and Sarah Murray (front)

Andrea Fox (Juice 107.2) and (in the chair) Guy Lloyd (Juice 107.2)

Andrea Fox (Juice 107.2)

Alison Doughty (Finishing Touches) and Elizabeth Nicoll

Coochie-coo On Thursday 18 September Susan Hutter and Lolita Colenso at Mamissima officially opened their doors as Brighton’s first lifestyle boutique for expectant mothers. They celebrated with a little champagne and canapes with family and friends. Mamissima is home to the largest selection of independent retailers on the south coast and stocks a large selection of seasonal, stylish maternity wear, eco-friendly baby clothing, beautiful gifts for mother and child and much, much, more.

Mamissima, 82 North Road, North Laine, Brighton. www.mamissima.co.uk JJ Snelling

Susan Hutter (Mamissima) and Lolita Colenso (Mamissima)

Jurgen Hutter and Karen Duncin (Green Rose Marketing) 6 latest 7

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay We have a fantastic new DVD release up for grabs this week courtesy of Entertainment in Video. Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay is the hilarious adventure comedy with from America’s favourite buds. When a misplaced bong pipe in an aeroplane toilet packs Harold and Kumar off to Guantanamo Bay, plans for a quiet trip to Amsterdam turn into a quest to clear their names of terrorist charges and secure their freedom! This new to watch DVD is the hilarious sequel to the hit comedy Harold & Kumar Get The Munchies.

To win one of three copies, tell us: Where are Harold and Kumar planning to take a trip to in this new DVD outing? See below for entry details. Entrants must be ages 18 and over.

The Oxford Murders Join Mr Frodo himself (Elijah Wood) in this complex murder mystery in a similar style to The Da Vinci Code.

Elijah plays Martin, a young American grad student who ends up playing Columbo, in a bid to solve a series of murders. Joined by the brilliant Professor Arthur Seldom (John Hurt), the pair must solve codes and symbols that appear to link the murders.

A thrilling whodunnit that every fan of Jessica Fletcher will love, based on the novel by Guillermo Martinez.

To win one of three copies, tell us: Who did Elijah Wood play in the Lord of the Rings trilogy? See below for entry details. Entrants must be aged 15 and over.

to watch

Babylon The ultimate cult British film of the 1980s – Babylon – comes to DVD for the very first time this month from Icon Home Entertainment.

Directed by Franco Rosso, this is a film employing an effective mix of music and social commentary to recount the everyday experiences of a small group of working class black youths living in 1980s South London.

Driven by a musical score composed and arranged by legendary reggae guitarist and record producer Dennis Bovell, with additional songs

by Yabby U, I-Roy and Aswad, to watch Babylon remains as socially relevant today as it was almost 30 years ago.

To be in with a chance of winning one of three copies of this cult classic on DVD, tell us: Which area of the UK does Babylon follow? See below for entry details.

To be in with a chance of winning, email: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the prize you wish to win in the subject box. Leave your answer to the question in the body of the email, along with your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: Tuesday 21 October

Copyright: TM and © MMVIII New Line Productions, Inc. TM and © MMVIII New Line Home Entertainment, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Smile!

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10/1/08

5:07 PM

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COVERSTORY

Tutu-lly fun Brighton Dome hosts a ballet with a difference on 28–29 Oct. Grab yourself some autumn fun

twinkling tiaras are worn by men, don’t for a minute think it’s not the real deal.

The Trocks may have toured the world but unbelievably they’ve never been to Brighton!

Now they’re bringing their diva personas into town and gracing the Concert Hall stage at Brighton Dome for two nights only. For those of you who are seasoned dance fans, the programme includes four classical dances – Swan Lake (Act II), Paquita, Pas de Duex and Pas de Quatre. For those who don’t know the difference between a pirouette and en pointe don’t worry – this is

a fresh and exciting introduction to classical dance with a twist.

Don’t miss your chance to see this sidesplitting dance troupe. One thing’s guaranteed already: the Trocks will knock your socks off with their bravura mix of fun and fancy footwork!

To get a sneak peak of the show, play a game to dress your own Trock, and the chance to win a flight to Monte Carlo visit www.trockstour.co.uk. Show runs on Tue 28 and Wed 29 October, 7.30pm Concert Hall, Brighton Dome. Tickets are £10, £15, £20, £24. Free post-show talk Tue 28. Call 01273 709709 for tickets.

Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo, or as they are affectionately known today, the Trocks, were founded in 1974 by a group of ballet enthusiasts and have since developed into a fully fledged world famous dance company with an all male cast. Yes that’s right, all male, the men play the princes, the swans, the villains and most importantly the princesses (tutus, tights and silk ballet shoes included!)

Described by The Sunday Times as “The funniest night you’ll ever have at the ballet!” they’re the biggest joke in the dance world – and that is meant as a compliment. The conceit is this New York troupe is actually an old-style Russian ballet company, full of stroppy ballerinas, runaway egos and diva glamour. Since their very first performance in Manhattan audiences worldwide have gone crazy for the cast. Their spoof biographies are a scream with names such as Ida Nevesayneva, Jacques D’Aniels, Velour Pilleaux and Eugenia Repelskii. But along with the silly names and slapstick, comes a genuine respect for traditional ballet. Their staging is immaculate, a faithful rendition and just because the gorgeous tutus and

latest 7 7

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10/1/08

3:55 PM

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EMOTIONS

STYLE

Model city

Dani’s diary

Sandra Omo looks back on a year in modelling with no regrets, no surrender

Dani on the abundance of phobias and the fear of flying low in the modern age

A good friend of mine surprised me this week by announcing she was giving up the modelling business for good. Boy, the news came as a big shock to me. I mean we had just finished an LFW show and having a celebration back stage when she popped in the news. Even as I write, I am still trying to come to terms with it. Why is she giving up something as wonderful as modelling when there are thousands of people out there dying to become one? Well her reasons are that it has not been an easy ride for her (my dear friend, which profession is?), she has not achieved the things she expected she would have by now as a model (isn’t that why you should keep trying?), and she wants a family and modelling has not given her time for that. This last excuse I buy. After all, it’s responsible for us giving up a lot of things.

However, when I talked to her later that day, she candidly explained to me that she fears she would not make it as a successful model so it’s better to pursue something else now before it’s too late. I see. Her fears have had me thinking about things I have taken for granted. I mean, these are things that I have completely forgotten, or have not crossed my mind for long. But as I think on them consecutively for days, I wonder how it was possible to not think on them. Now what things am I talking about here? They are none other than the successes achieved (these I constantly think about but not like I have the past few days), opportunities missed – especially the ones never given (these I have not thought about for ages before now), and dreams still yet to achieve (now, these are the ones that have mostly occupied my mind the past few days). Thinking on these things, now that Model City column is one year old, makes me smile with pride.

Nonetheless, it has not always been a jolly good ride, but I draw my strength from the fact that there is nothing I go through as a model – whether good or bad – that another model has not experienced before, will not experience, or better still did not experience with me at the same time. When you attend a casting, no matter how gruesome or enjoyable it is, you did not experience it alone- every model there experienced the same. But at the end of it all, every model has a different tale to tell as the outcome is not always the same for us.

Some get the job and others do not; some make a successful career out of it while others do not. So what is the deciding factor here? Well I think it all comes down to what one really wants plus what you make out of your experiences. Looking back at my career the past year, I am glad I chose this route, not because it has earned me a million pounds – for it has not. Rather I have earned fulfilment, self-respect, and faith in my ability to become a successful model so that I am even more determined to pursue it more than ever before. But then I ask myself, will a day ever come when I will say to myself its better to bail out now before it’s too late? No, not for me.

I have developed a new fear. It only occurs when I am at work. I have no idea why but I am constantly worried that my flies are open. It is a new thing I am worrying about. I have no idea where it came from or why but it is irritating me slightly. I can’t leave my desk without feeling like I have to check I am all covered. The funny thing is (well it’s not funny at all) is that I bet there is actually a name for that kind of fear. I am sure when my nan was little there were not half as many ‘named’ fears as there are now.

Apparently, as times advance and change there are more things to have irrational fears about – like leaving your mobile phone at home. I did a little research and found a few strange and amusing fears (with their technical names).

Did you know you can suffer from Anablephobia which is a fear of looking up – firstly how do you discover you have this, and secondly have enough people really had it to warrant a whole name for it?

Possibly the most appropriate I found for our time of life is Anuptaphobia which is a fear of staying single. Another fear I never really thought would exist is, Coprastasophobia, a fear of constipation. I chose the next one because I thought it was funny – Geniophobia – a fear of chins. And my favourite of all time, for the pure irony displayed is

Win a photoshoot and portfolio with PYNK Studios

Collection/delivery ordering service for

Competition Reminder: Calling all aspiring models! You still have one week to enter the Model City readers competition. One lucky reader and a friend will win an amazing photo shoot experience and portfolio with PYNK - one of London’s best fashion photography studios (www.pynklondon.com). The prize includes a hairstylist and make-up artist on the day, a photoshoot with professional photographers and a portfolio to take home with you! To enter, answer this simple question: Which month was the first Model City article published?

A: October B: September C: August TO ENTER/TERMS & CONDITIONS: Email your answer along with your name, age and phone number to competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘Model’ in the subject line. The winner will be announced in two weeks. The competition is open to all Model City readers, not just models. Minors must be accompanied by a parent/guardian. The prize must be redeemed by mid-December on a weekday appointment. On the day, come along with freshly washed hair, and no make-up. Bring at least four wardrobe changes, shoes and accessories. Make-up and hairstylist is included. Travel to the London studio is not included. The winner’s shoot will be featured in a future issue of Latest 7.

8 latest 7

“We all run around, scared of random colours, odd-shaped vegetables and the length of words” Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia – which is a fear of long words!

Back in the day people didn’t have the time to conjure up these things did they? I am scared of nearly everything and I have no idea why in most cases. I don’t feel like my silly little fears warrant actual names giving it some form of official feeling.

I have always thought that life was simpler 100 years ago and I am starting to believe it’s true. We have so much technology we are driving ourselves mad with it all. And I mean ‘bonkers’ not ‘figure of speech mad’!

Would life be better if we were blissfully unaware of everything that can cause us harm? My nan never checks the sell-by-dates on anything – I am obsessed (along with my granddad).

I can’t imagine phobias were as widely spoken of back then. What is it about our modern age that causes us so many problems?

We currently live in a time where nearly everything can be done for you, at just the click of a button you can contact people all over the globe, many of the diseases that killed us off for years can be cured and even prevented with just one injection, and yet we all run around, scared of random colours, odd-shaped vegetables and the length of words. We are supposed to spend more hours working than living and yet we find time to harbour all these neurosis, how is that possible?

And who is it that finds the time to name all of these fears? I am scared of lots of things and the fear has over taken my entire life at points, but until now I thought it was ridiculous as it is.

For comments and chit chat email letters@thelatest.co.uk

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009_LS393_celebcity

10/3/08

11:06 AM

Page 1

AROUNDTOWN

sponsored by

Celebcity with Jo Brooks

Boy hero Fatboy Slim entertains the masses at his biggest beach party to date in true Sussex by the sea style On one of the brightest days of the summer, finally the day had dawned for the Big Beach Boutique 4 - Fat Boy Slim's biggest Brighton gig yet.

Completely sold out, the lineup (which included ex-Brightonian Beardyman, The Whip and Danny Tenaglia) played to a 22,000 strong crowd who clearly loved every minute. When Norman took to the stage, he got a hero's welcome and when he played ‘Sussex by the Sea’ accompanied by footage of the now famous David and Goliath victory of the Albion over multi-million pound Man City, Madeira Drive erupted.

Nothing I write can tell the story better than the stunning pictures captured on the day - so here for you are my selection of the very best.

All images kindly supplied by Andy Images www.andyimages.com

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com

To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

latest 7 9

010_LS393_cheeky/stars

10/1/08

6:13 PM

Page 2

ONLY JOKING!

See more at thelatest.co.uk

Bare cheek Ask a lapdancer Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

In the net Martin Johnstone is your guide to cyberspace Yo dudes and dudettes! Long time no see! I’m here to tell you about an exciting new website I’ve just discovered. It’s called ‘Ain’t it Cool News’, and it’s full of gossip and rumours about the world of Hollywood movies. It’s run by this guy who is fat and unattractive, and, I’m afraid to say, very much a typical computer nerd, (but don’t tell him I said that!) Anyhoo – here are some choice nuggets I have gleaned from the world of the silver screen:Keanu Reeves to star in Gattaca, Robin Williams and Billy Crystal signed for Shakespeare in Love, Back to the Future III set in prehistoric times, and featuring a very special cameo from Chris Farley as a teenage Fred Flintstone, Donnie Brasco to be an animated feature, Jim Carrey to turn down the lead role

in Liar Liar to make his dramatic debut in a biopic of Buster Keaton.

Phew! Okey dokey – I’d best be off now, pals – I’m investigating a brand new internet phenomenon called “Lolcatz.”

Stay beautiful,

Mart X

The government is to clamp down on lapdancing clubs, following calls from local MPs. But what will Brighton and Hove’s thousands of poor exotic dancers do if suddenly made redundant? Will they be provided with alternative employment? In an attempt to start the ball rolling we have hired Amber (not her real name), a top pole/lap dancer, late of Portslade’s infamous ‘Hustlerz$’ club to answer your queries.

Dear Amber, I’m thinking of selling my house now, putting the money in the bank, and renting until next year, and then I’ll be able to use the cash to buy a bigger place. Do you think this is a good idea, or is it too risky?

John Collier, Kemp Town Amber says: Mmmmm. Do you like that? Do you like that, you naughty boy?

Oooh, you’re such a naughty, naughty boy? What are you?

That’s right – a naughty boy.

Oooh. You’re making me so hot.

In & Out IN

OUT

• Saying “Phillips screwdriver”

• Saying “Posidriver”

• Worming tablets

• Andrews’ Liver Salts

• Bill Fraser

• Terence Rigby

• Saying “You might think that, I couldn’t possibly comment” in imitation of Ian Richardson in House of Cards when asked if you’ve just used the lavvy

• Regretting that the introduction of flatscreens has put the kibosh on “what’s on the TV?” jokes • Her Alibi

• Jésus of Montréal

Astral Angi ★Finding truth in the stars★

Dear Amber, Do you think a Conservative victory at the next general election is inevitable, given Gordon Brown’s current unpopularity, or will David Cameron’s facade of confidence crumble when he’s forced to put his money where his mouth is? In which case, does Nick Clegg have a chance? Is it possible we’ll see a third party government in my lifetime?

Graham Moore, Moulsecoomb Amber says: Hmmm. You’re a big boy, aren’t you? Ooooh. Why don’t you buy me some Champagne? That’d

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

be nice – Champagne makes me feel all hot. Ooh I’m so hot. Oi! NO TOUCHING! Dear Amber, Perhaps you can settle an argument – I maintain that the late Peter Finch was the only actor ever to be awarded a posthumous best actor Oscar (for the film Network in 1976), but she claims that Spencer Tracy and Massimo Troisi were too, for Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner and Il Postino respectively. There is a slap-up feed at Pizza Express riding on your answer, so please reply quickly!

Chris Parkin, Hove Amber says: I said NO TOUCHING! Colin!

COLIN! Get over here! This punter tried to grab hold of me.

Smash his face in! That’s right GET HIM! Kick his teeth out, the pervert!

Dear Amber, How can I be certain that I exist?

Martin Outhwaite, Brighton Amber says: The phrase ‘Cogito, ergo sum’ (‘I think, therefore I am’), sometimes misquoted as Dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum (‘I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am’) is a philosophical statement used by René Descartes. The simple meaning of the phrase is that if someone is wondering whether or not he exists, that is in and of itself proof that he does exist.

Right – you’ve had two dances, two bottles of Champagne, and three Cokes.

That’ll be £1,298.52 please.

Where are you going? Oi! COLIN!

BARDSLEY’S

WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

01273 681256

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19).

Van Gogh, Wordsworth and Elton John, all Aries. Imagine them together, what lyrics, what covers, what parties.

Could Elton have saved the ear, would Diana have been English daffodil?

Louis Armstrong, Meryl Streep and Julius Caesar, all Cancer. Meryl and Louis both looked okay in dungarees, neither could sing. Caesar most famous for a salad I think, launched in 44BC.

John Lennon, Gore Vidal and Oscar Wilde, Truman Capote what a fab four.

And all gay except Lennon who merely played at gay to keep Brian Epstein amused, how Brian would laugh.

Elvis, Bogart and Kipling, real men, men’s men who liked man things. Bogie famously African Queens, Kipling fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches and Elvis boy scouts.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

Bing Crosby and Salvador Dali, an astral match made in heaven I do not think. Or maybe, Bing as an accolyte of the dark one maybe, lose all the Irish Catholic stuff, a few good sunsets…

Carl Gustav Jung, Gene Kelly and Matt le Blanc are all Leo which does make you wonder if there is anything in this stuff. Perhaps it’s time for me to find another job, crystals maybe?

Martin Luther King, Indira Ghandi, Dylan Thomas, Scorpios that met untimely deaths. First two victims of assassins, Thomas victim of indulgent addiction to words and whiskey.

James Dean, Francis Bacon and Oprah Winfrey, the real grit that proves astral forecasting has a valid role to play in modern life. Two icons and one painter of icons.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe, Anne Frank, all Geminis and all tortured souls. Except that Judy and Marilyn were attention seeking media husseys and Anne was quite the opposite.

No, here is proof, Greta Garbo, Lauren Bacall and Sophia Loren, all Virgos and all famous as much for their fidelity as for their films. Perfect Virgo women, how sweet. I can go on.

Crumbly Frank Sinatra and wrinkly Walt Disney, two Sagis who didn’t want to go. Frank retired over 239 times, Walt had his head frozen so that he could come back later, bless ’em both.

Einstein, Chopin, Liza Minelli, stars one and all. Einstein famous for his theory of relativity, Minelli for her relatives and Chopin now works in Brighton’s most famous chip shop.

10 latest 7

To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk

011_LS393_newsbigstoryalison st

30/9/08

3:38 PM

Page 1

latest news No nonsense, just news. Send your stories to: news@thelatest.co.uk

A talent to amuse Andrew Kay caught up with Alison Steadman to talk about her career whilst she is touring in a new production of Alan Bennett’s Enjoy Alison Steadman is one of Britain’s most prolific actors. Her most famous performances are perhaps Abigail’s Party and The Rise and Fall of Little Voice. She is a versatile TV actress, having appeared in many comedy and drama series such as The Worst Week of My Life, Fat Friends and more recently appearing as Pam in BBC Three’s award-winning comedy Gavin and Stacey. Latest 7 caught up with the actress on a headlong course for ‘national treasure’ status as she starred as Connie Cravern in Alan Bennett’s Enjoy.

I don’t know what I would do. I mean, if I’m in the West End for a play, I’ll go for the occasional meal, but I don’t seek out going to the Ivy. I don’t like all that. I like to go out, if it’s an award do or whatever, I’ll go, but I hate all that. I hate the walk up the red carpet, it’s not me really. No I don’t go for all that. I don’t see the point. I mean, if I come out the stage door, people want your autograph and want a chat and I’m quite happy to do that, but I wouldn’t court all that.

You’re here in Brighton to perform in Enjoy and later in the run at Chichester Festival Theatre. Have you done an Alan Bennett work before?

I have yes, I was in a play in the late eighties called Kafka’s Dick at the Royal Court in London and that was the first outing for that play. Since then, I’ve also been in a film of Alan Bennett’s, A Private Function.

“I’ve never had to resort to working in a bar or working in an office, I’ve always earned my living by acting”

You started your career in Liverpool, is that right?

Not really… I was born and grew up there, but, I went to drama school in London, to East 15, and then I was in ‘rep’ for four years, moving about, and one of those years I was at the Liverpool Everyman. I’d already done several seasons before I went there, it certainly wasn’t my first job. I was there in 1971, I think. The years of the Canterbury Tales and John McGrath’s Soft, or a Girl. I was Ella, the girl that wanted the house on the Wirral.

That’s become a recurring theme in your career in a sense, the lady with upwardly mobile aspirations. Do you feel you sometimes do get typecast after those iconic performances like Beverly and Candice Marie?

I suppose so, yes. They were so different. I hope I’ve tried to play a variety of roles over the years. But of course you do get a similar type of role. I mean Gavin and Stacey, which I’m doing at the moment; Pammy, she’s not upwardly mobile, but she’s certainly an Essex girl. Who’s… you know, she’s full of fun, she’s a good laugh but material things are very important to her.

Do people seek you out constantly?

Looking through your CV it looks as though you’ve not been out of work since those days at the Everyman.

Well, obviously I’ve had a few weeks off here and there. I’ve had holidays, but, I’ve never had to resort to working in a bar or working in an office, I’ve always earned my living by acting.

It seems to me that you never play the celebrity card. Do you avoid it on purpose, or are you too busy to do the usual round of celebrity nonsense that so many others do?

Over the years, you’ve worked considerably with your ex-husband Mike Leigh, he works in a very different way, in which the company of actors and himself generate

the material that you perform. Is that a method of acting that excited you?

Oh yeah… It’s a quite scary way of working.

You haven’t got anything when you start, but it certainly gives the actor a great opportunity to be creative. More so than you would get with a scripted play. It’s a wonderful way of working.

Was it difficult then to differentiate between your working life and your home life?

No… That was never a problem, because there was a sort of unspoken rule that work was work, and we never talked about work at home, never discussed it at home, it sounds extraordinary but it was true. It was never difficult, because that’s what it was.

Are there any great roles that you’ve longed to have been asked to do? You’ve got no great craving to play Hedda Gabler or Lady MacBeth?

No, not really. If they came up I’d consider them, but I’ve always been someone who just bowls along and sees what comes up. This particular part I’m doing at the moment, it’s very different from anything I’ve ever done before, a real departure. I don’t know if you’ve seen any of the photographs?

I’ve seen the production photographs, I was very surprised when I opened the files and saw you looking like one of my aunties. It has to be said, the costume is less than flattering and the wig is absolutely ghastly, isn’t it?

It depends what way you look at it, if you look at it from the point of view of glamour, then yes. The wig is absolutely brilliant, it’s one of the best wigs I’ve ever had. It’s exactly what I wanted, and I insisted that this wig… because often wigmakers make you wigs with twice as much hair as anybody actually has, and they don’t look real and you’re messing around with it. I said specifically what I wanted and the wigmaker did exactly what I said, and we’ve got a very good assistant who dresses the wig and it’s just brilliant.

Don’t forget this play is set in 1980, so a woman in her mid-sixties in 1980, looked very different. I mean, I’m 62, and I dress in jeans, but my mum didn’t, she dressed for her age. It’s great for me to immerse myself in this woman and to look completely different. I always like to play a role where people say, “oh, I didn’t recognise you”, and that hasn’t happened in a while, because I’m quite well known.

Do you worry that you might turn into a national treasure?

I hate that phrase. It’s lovely that people like me and admire what I do, but I don’t like that phrase. It was quite nice, on my birthday, I was walking around a park and this girl was walking around on her mobile and she suddenly came over to me and said, “I’m sorry to bother you, but my mum would like to speak to you,” and she gave me the phone and her mum said, “Oh, Mrs. Steadman, I’d just like to wish you a happy birthday”. I thought that was really nice.

Enjoy, 27 October – 1 November, Chichester Festival Theatre, Oaklands Park, Chichester, West Sussex, PO19 6AP. Box office 01243 781312. www.cft.org.uk latest 7 11

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3/10/08

2:06 PM

Page 2

LATESTNEWS

news summary

7 days of headlines

Get on the bus

The Seagulls announced that Falmer Stadium will not open until August 2011. Brighton and Hove Albion has appointed the Buckingham Group to carry out the construction of the longawaited stadium. Work is expected to start in December.

Surgeons managed to reattach a man’s arm after he cut it off below the elbow with a chainsaw. John Stirling, manager of Newhaven Marina, had the accident while gardening at home in Telscombe Cliffs. Four surgeons in East Grinstead’s Queen Victoria Hospital spent 14 hours sewing it back on. Afterwards Mr Stirling was reported to be in a stable condition.

An art gallery will celebrate its fifth birthday with an exhibition starting this weekend. Paola Calise, owner of Art at Five in Barthomews, Brighton, has invited the public to attend a party with drinks and cakes on Saturday (11 October) from 10am to 6pm. The collection with work by five artists will continue until 26 October.

Brighton and Hove Bus Company have revealed the names that will adorn their newest buses. Among those honoured is stuntman Ron Cunningham who died last year.

Cunningham, who was also known as the Great Omani, found fame through death-defying stunts along the Sussex coast.

His highlights included performing a handstand with a Union Jack between his toes on the edge of Beachy Head to celebrate the Queen’s Silver Jubilee, lying on a bed of nails in a coffin as it travelled from Hastings to London and his numerous dives from south coast piers.

Vanessa Cunningham, his great daughter-in-law, said: “It’s absolutely amazing, it’s what he would have wanted. He was a showman to the end and it’s a really nice way to remember him”.

New buses will also carry the names of Brighton’s oldest traceable local resident, the 13th century theologian and former Archbishop of Canterbury John Peckham, who is thought to have hailed from Patcham, and worldrenowned, Sussex-based classical composer Ralph Vaughan-Williams.

Other local heroes to be recognised are former Sussex Cricketer Maurice Tate, pioneering female lawyer Helena Normanton, charismatic Conservative

Right here right now Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears loves her home town Forgive me for sounding a little parochial, but this is the best city in the country. Okay, I’ve said this before but it’s hard not to be so positive when we’ve had such an exciting and energetic couple of weeks.

We’ve had the Brighton and Hove Business Awards, which saw several city firms celebrate their successes and I want to congratulate not just the winners but the participants. I had the privilege of presenting an award to one of the winners in the ‘Creative Industries’ category (congratulations to South East Dance).

Then there was the Big Beach Boutique last week with Hove superstar DJ Fatboy Slim. I was at the concert and it was fantastic to see so many people having a great time. I also want to congratulate the organisers for putting on a fantastic show and thank the police and Brighton and Hove City Council staff for their support. So it’s been a hectic two weeks and a nice reminder of the optimism and positive spirit throughout the city.

At the council we’re also feeling very positive. This week we are consulting on our housing strategy. In my article last week, I talked about the importance of striking the right balance for our residents’ housing needs.

We are now in the process of moving forward with our commitment to improve housing across the city. Tenant representatives voted unanimously to proceed with plans to create a ‘local delivery vehicle’ (a type of housing company run by the council, tenants and leaseholders) which could release up to £45million of capital funding that can be invested into maintenance of our entire housing stock.

But we’re not stopping there. We’re backing a national campaign to end the unfair system of council housing finance in England. The current system means a big proportion of rent revenues collected by councils are reallocated to other areas of the country and the Treasury. Of the £11.5million Brighton and Hove collects, the government gives back just £9million. We want to see all the 12 latest 7

councillor Lis Solkhon and planning officer and local historian Ken Fines.

Roger French, managing director of Brighton and Hove buses, said: “We’re delighted to have selected a diverse list of seven more worthy people to be recognised with the honour of a bus name”.

Ralph Miller

Blind Drunk Drinkers and retailers were warned to watch out for counterfeit vodka which could make people blind.

Three bottles of the bootleg drink, which looks like a Spar own brand product, have been found on sale in Brighton. The city council’s trading standards officials will continue to visit other off-licences and were trying to identify the source of the illegal version.

The bottles, packaged as ‘Imperial Vodka’ contain potentially harmful levels of methanol which can have serious effects including blindness if consumed in large quantities. No counterfeit bottles have been found in Spar stores and there are no concerns associated with authentic bottles of Spar Imperial Vodka. For more information or if you have found a counterfeit product on sale call trading standards on 01273 292494.

The Great Omani Counterfeit (left) and a genuine bottle

resources within the housing system spent on homes and housingrelated services and not diverted to other services or sent to other areas of the country.

We’re also determined to make our city safer. For example, I met with business and community leaders to discuss how the council, the police and our partners can work together to make London Road safer.

We will be responding with regular cleaning initiatives, including washing the streets and cleaning off graffiti. The police will follow up licensees in the area to remind them of their responsibilities to ensure alcohol is not being sold to under 18s.

And we’re opening up the council to the whole world. This week sees the council broadcast its first ever live web transmission (or webcasting) of council meetings as part of our commitment to providing open and effective city leadership. You can hear and see what is being debated by visiting www.brighton-hove.gov.uk So it’s been a busy few weeks and there’s more to come! As Winston Churchill said, “I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.”

If you would like to comment on these stories please email news@thelatest.co.uk

013_LS393_newsphil

10/2/08

6:20 PM

Page 1

LATESTNEWS Phil Mills meets Babyshambles frontman Pete Doherty’s childhood love, Brightonbased singer-songwriter Emily Baker

See Emily play

latest 7

NEWS

A singer-songwriter from Brighton has received a career boost from an unlikely source – rock's bad boy Pete Doherty.

Emily Baker, from Queens Park, played in Doherty’s first band when they were at school together in Blandford, Dorset, and they are now on stage together again, 15 years on.

The two, who were childhood sweethearts, met up again last month (Sep) when she played at Doherty’s homecoming gig during the Dorset Music Forum in Bournemouth.

In an exclusive interview with Latest 7, Emily told how Doherty hadn't changed much and she insisted that underneath his wild image lies a "really nice bloke."

As a direct result of the reunion, Doherty asked Emily to take the stage with him again, this time at The Hackney Empire (Oct 2).

“He was a lovable rogue, utterly charming; the girls liked him” Doherty, dumped last year by model Kate Moss, admitted he had fancied Emily “like mad” when they were at school.

Emily told Latest 7: "We were in an Army town and we always had kids coming and going from the class.

"When Pete arrived he was instantly charismatic and gregarious and everyone wanted to know him.

"He and I were both into Tony Hancock and he loved playing the 'spiv' like Sid James' dodgy character. He never got into fights and was more likely to take bets on who would win.

"We were about 12 at the time. He was a loveable rogue, utterly charming, and all the girls liked him."

The two became sweethearts briefly when Doherty was picked to play the lead man in a school musical and Emily was the leading girl.

Emily, who played her first solo gig at the Joogleberry Playhouse in Brighton in 2006, said Doherty had been the victim of a bad press but blamed his heroin use for his troubles.

"Many of the things written about Pete are hugely inaccurate. He does a lot of good work – he handpicked the support act in Bournemouth and he is an incredibly gifted and creative thinker.

"He is passionate about music and that was obvious when we were at school together."

Emily, whose parents both attended the Royal Academy, started her musical career playing drums and in the last few months has supported the likes of Beth Rowley, Wallis Bird, Gabriela Cilmi and Alex Cornish as well as featuring as part of the Leftfield Warm Up Party in her adopted home of Brighton alongside Frank Turner, The Krak and The Thirst.

Doherty rates her music, which, she says, "Is all about The Beatles, Carole King and James Taylor with a twist of the bizarre in the production. The perfectionist vision of Jon Brion, Aimee Mann, Fiona Apple, Rufus Wainwright, David Byrne, The Eels and Sean Lennon."

Emily is supporting Mark Morriss, lead singer in The Bluetones, at Brighton Coalition on October 15 and she'll be appearing at Club NME at Brighton Coalition on December 3.

Nurses in need Retired nurses, many in their 70s and 80s, have been thrown into uncertainty with news that they may have to move home.

A charity which wanted to take over John Howard Cottages in Roedean Road, Brighton, has suddenly pulled out, leaving the 20 ex-nurses with sleepless nights as to where they might end up.

The current landlords, the Royal College of Nursing, said it can no longer afford to keep up the homes and while it will help the nurses find alternative accommodation, ultimately it will sell the cottages to the highest bidder.

The RCN is said to be deeply upset by Careways withdrawing and a spokeswoman added: “We are still exploring options for another transfer.

However, some of the residents have now requested that we help them to find alternative accommodation and we are working with each resident to get the best outcome for their individual needs.

“In the short term all the residents can remain at John Howard Homes and the RCN will ensure that they continue to receive support.”

Careways general manager Trishia Pyle said their reason for pulling out had been explained to the RCN but she could not divulge it, other than to say it had nothing to do with the current economic climate.

She added: “We would love to have helped the nurses – no one can fail to be moved by their plight.”

One resident of the homes said: “This is terrible – many of us have been made ill by all of this. I won’t budge from my home – I’ll barricade my door.”

Brighton Kemptown MP Des Turner said he is doubling his efforts to find a solution: “I’m very disappointed and perplexed as to the reason behind the Careways decision.

“It is a great sadness and there is nothing worse for the tenants than the feeling of uncertainty they must be experiencing.”

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014_LS393_letters/sport

9/30/08

5:51 PM

Page 2

LATESTLETTERS&SPORT

Letters

Send your comments to letters@thelatest.co.uk

Clampdown on boards

Latest Sport Round ups and rumblings from the Latest Sports Bunker

Letters are still arriving to voice opposition to Brighton and Hove City Council’s ban on estate agents’ boards in some conservation areas.

I don’t agree that people just go into estate or letting agents offices – they often drive round areas of their choice to see what is available. In fact, I have just let one of my properties to a Turkish family who wanted to live in a modern house in Portslade and had not a clue which agents to go to as they were new to the area.

They neither had the time nor inclination to troll around agents, incur parking charges, penalty tickets and more. In this market, it is absolutely ridiculous to bring ‘no boards’ into practice and I feel it will have an even bigger impact on struggling agents.

Name and address supplied

V for Victory Latest Sport’s Peter Knight reflects on the game of two halves up at the Withdean Okay, so it was a grave mistake that I would rather go out drinking with some friends for a birthday on Wednesday evening than get myself along to the game against Manchester City. And it wasn’t until we were kicked out the pub gone 11.30pm when I stumbled upon a flock of delirious fans draped in the blue and white that I discovered the fantastic result. Pitch invasion tales and spot kick dramas were sung until the wee hours...

When we all awoke the following morning the national sports headlines held the Albion aloft reminding the nation of the existence of our modest club and our perilous yet determined survival against the big boys, homelessness and all the odds.

It was a far cry from the darkness that had descended over the club and the fans after the Walsall fiasco which I did attend. Admittedly, when you’re playing against nine defenders it’s going to be a little harder to get the ball in the net. After the two rightful sendings off, the match simply deteriorated into a one-sided training session with ‘have it’ balls coming straight back to the Albion defenders who turned it forward for yet another go. After the 52nd-ish attempt at a cross, those around me in the South Stand turned up the anger towards its deliverer, Matt Richards. Now, the players are going to feel the hot breath of us fans on their necks as well as having to deal with their own pangs of disappointment and will hopefully feel obliged to respond occasionally, preferably by banging the ball in the net. Instead we got a yell to “f**k off”. And why not? At least it was a sign that there was some passion somewhere out on that near empty pitch.

“The magic of outdoing the richest team in the world will be remembered for decades to come” Legal eagles walked from Brighton Magistrates’ Court to Ovingdean and back for charity

No protest An article by Phil Mills about a sponsored walk in aid of legal advice charities such as Brighton Housing Trust gave the wrong impression by saying the event was politically motivated, writes BHT. The article that appeared in Latest Homes on 23 September wrongly reported that the Lord Chief Justice joined a 'protest walk' through Brighton. This was incorrect. He and fellow judges were taking part in a sponsored 10k walk in support of Brighton Housing Trust (BHT) and other providers of free legal advice in Sussex.

We are aware that the way that Latest Homes reported this event has caused great embarrassment.

The event last Thursday (25 Sept) was in fact held to raise much needed funds to maintain free legal advice services throughout the South East.

The Lord Chief Justice Lord Phillips of Worth Matravers led 80 walkers across the Sussex coastline raising over £8,000.

The first Sussex Legal Sponsored Walk took the teams from the Brighton Magistrates Court to Ovingdean and back along the undercliffs.

A large proportion of the money raised will be donated to Brighton Housing Trust’s legal advice centres who worked with over 10,000 men and women last year.

Andy Winter, chief executive, BHT

After yet another failed cross and further moans from the crowd I felt the urge to yell out an encouraging “come on, Brighton!” This was followed by another 30 or so around me joining in who picked up on this idea of encouraging the team rather than berating it constantly. But it wasn’t enough and we lost 0-1 to eight and a half men with the loudest boos I’ve ever heard at the Withdean (and I was at last season’s FA Cup defeat to Mansfield).

Four days later and something had happened. The magic of outdoing the richest team in the world made up of millionaires and exotic journeymen will be remembered for decades to come. But the secret to the success probably lay in the fact that all the pressure was on City to perform, not the Albion. Perhaps all Micky needs to do is get the lads to deal with the fact that they’ve already lost before each game to remove any pressure. But I’m suspecting that with a better team on paper this year, the inspired loan signing of Robbie Savage and with magic Micky still making the team his own, it will only be a case of hammering Leeds this weekend and we’ll be back in the chase...

You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH 14 latest 7

The Albion fans storm onto the pitch after the 5-3 penalty shootout win against City

Camera phone photo: Jess Hodson

Phil Mills responds: The report said “some may say” that the walk was a protest and, indeed, some solicitors I spoke to said that was how they interpreted it. I am sorry if that has caused embarrassment but it is healthy that differing views and interpretations are aired.

015_LS393_food

2/10/08

5:44 PM

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK

High l’eau Andrew Kay takes a break and tries some excellent soft drinks and some truly delicious chocolate and almonds Glacéau vitaminwater From time to time parcels arrive in the office containing goodies. Well, I say goodies, sometimes parcels arrive containing real horrors, foods that I would no more write about then pluck out my own tongue.

This week a box arrived containing what at first glance looked like

medication. Why are people sending me linctus I thought? But on closer inspection, I discovered that these were a new brand type of flavoured mineral waters that come packed with minerals and vitamins. The branding is odd to say the least, but I duly passed a few bottles around the office and we all agreed that they were actually very nice indeed.

For a start, they do not seem to be packed with sugar, simply fruits and few additives. My favourite was dragonfruit, but to be honest I rather liked them all.

Glacéau vitaminwater started out in New York and is produced by the CocaCola Company. There are six drinks in the range and I have already spotted them for sale at Moksha opposite St Peters Church.

Rather jokily they claim, that they will put a little ooh la la in your life.

It’s not a serious claim but they did cheer us all up and made a pleasant change from the diet of mineral water that we all adhere to. And who knows, if throwing in some guarana, zinc and a bevy of vitamins does give you a much needed boost, then why not.

As for the packaging, well treat it as a bit of fun, science drag shall we say? As a long time fan of fruit squash I think this new product will give me a much needed alternative to my usual choice of fizzy water or Diet Coke.

For more information go to www.vitaminwater.co.uk

Life’s a dragee Pottering round Kemp Town Village the other day, as I tend to do of a Saturday morning, I happened to spot a very charming window display in Hank & Hugo. Now Hank & Hugo sell stylish stuff with a slightly masculine edge to it, things like toiletries, towels, bathrobes and gifts.

There in the window was the prettiest bird cage, one of those ornate affairs with a domed compartment, and on the bars there were what looked like pretty pastel sugared almonds.

Imagine my surprise when the post delivered a selection of these tasty treats to my desk. Three lovely brown bags fell from the package and in them some of my favourite treats.

Imported from Italy where they are made by a company called Buratti, they certainly put a smile on the faces of the Latest Homes lackeys.

I loved the chocolate dragees which came in rather sophisticated ivory, burgundy and dark blue. The coating was delicious but the chocolate inside even better.

The sugared almonds were more traditional in colour, pretty pastels and the almonds inside sweet and creamy, very fresh indeed. My favourites though, are the chocolate covered espresso coffee beans, wrapped in pretty silver foils. I love the crunch of coffee the bean tempered by bitter-sweet chocolate, and found myself going past the dish rather too often during the day. Sugared almonds are £4 for 200g, the dragees £3 for 200g and the coffee beans £4 for 100g.

Hank & Hugo, 115 St Georges Road, Kemp Town Village, Brighton. 01273 684023. www.hank-hugo.co.uk

If you would like to comment on this story please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk

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016_018_LS393_hotlist

2/10/08

4:08 PM

Page 2

LATESTHOTLIST

See more at thelatest.co.uk

latest hot

1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555, www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

LIST

Sam’s of Brighton

RESTAURANTS & BARS

A brand new restaurant on the Kemp Town restaurant scene. Situated in the famous One Paston Place site, Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a free-range poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter.

1 Paston Place, Brighton, 01273 676222 www.samsofbrighton.co.uk

Santiago Restaurant

RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials. They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue.

There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices.

22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty homecooked food, separate evening and lunch menus and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter, a central open fire roars. In summer, people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace.

The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt.

59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com

The Gallery Restaurant Why not appreciate for yourself the brand new restaurant in the heart of Brighton’s lanes specialising in modern British food all within in a relaxed fine dining environment.

All the food is sourced locally, (where possible) homemade and designed for the seasons by our a la carte head chef who has lead at the Dorchester in London, amongst other leading London restaurants.

The restaurant boasts a friendly yet casual environment that offers that little bit more all at very reasonable prices.

28 East Street, Brighton. 01273 773327 www.thegallerybrighton.co.uk

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight, plus a wine list full of treats without being expensive. Make the most of the terrace when the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat.

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Nestled between the two piers, Santiago Restaurant offers quality food and friendly service in this fantastic location on Brighton beach. Occupying former fisherman’s arches and boasting three of the historic, original arched windows, the first floor indoor restaurant gives a cosy and intimate dining experience. Now serving an exciting new menu of modern European dishes with a Hispanic influence and delicious homemade desserts. On sunny days, enjoy watching the world go by while dining on their sun terrace overlooking the beach, or in the evening come and relax in the indoor restaurant where every table has a sea view.

143-144 Kings Road Arches, Brighton Beach 01273 710031 www.santiagorestaurant.biz

CHINESE Gars Restaurant Stunningly refurbished, this old Brighton favourite has attained a new lease of life.

An exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top The Chilli Pickle

places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room and enjoy the glamour of it all. Eat from £10.

19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321 www.gars.co.uk

FRENCH The Arrogant Frog Not as expensive as you might think! A tempting à la carte and Xpress lunch is available all week. A ‘Plat du Jour’, at £9.45 including a drink, is the perfect way to treat yourself without breaking the bank. Relaxed al-fresco dining is available in the garden; a sunny afternoon could not be better spent.

Enjoy the ‘Early Frog’ from 6-7pm; a threecourse meal at £13.95 is really the best value for your money! The true character of this delightful restaurant comes hopping to life in the evenings, and the mouthwatering menu is a comprehensive choice of the finest French cuisine. Children and families always welcome.

119 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721488, www.thearrogantfrog.com

Cocoa Cocoa is the cheeky new French patisserie found just down from Brighton train station on Queen’s Road. “A slice of Paris in the heart of Brighton”. All cakes, pastries, tartines and baguettes are lovingly prepared each morning on the premises by French gourmet pastry chef Julien Plumart.

Front of the house is run by Jana Solfronk serving coffee, cinnamon hot chocolate or homemade lime ice tea, amongst other beverages. Intimate seating overlooking a mural of the roofs of Paris sets an atmosphere both relaxing and bohemian.

For breakfast, lunch or an afternoon “tete a tete”, Cocoa is the choice for discerning Brightonians. As commented by a recent French visitor: ”Cocoa make the best croissant in Brighton, by far better than any I found in Paris.”

48 Queen’s Road, Brighton. 01273 777412

New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional home-made French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too!

Daily evening menu at two courses £10.50, three courses £12.50 on weekdays; and two courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 on Friday and Saturday (ONLY LIMITED SPACES AVAILABLE DAILY). À la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6-10pm for last orders.

10-11 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 or 695415

L’Église L’Église is a traditional French restaurant in Hove offering classic cuisine prepared for contemporary tastes. Offering a fantastic À la Carte menu Tuesday to Sunday together with daily specials like Saucisses de Toulouse, Boeuf Bourguignon and Côte de Bœuf for two.

Locally sourced produce include freshly caught fish of the day and an extensive anglo-french farmhouse cheeseboard.

There are also a selection of superb French desserts on offer such as Raspberry Millefeuille and Crème Brulée.

Whether enjoying our south facing sun terrace with the 2 course Express lunch menu, Tuesday-Saturday, 12-5pm at £11.95 or relaxing on a Sunday with our delicious French Sunday roast….. this is true entente cordiale.

196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk, info@legliserestaurant.co.uk

INDIAN Chaula’s “The food of India, not just Indian food.”

New on the scene in Lewes and unlike other Indian restaurants, Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes: bhindi kadhi, pista chicken, lamb rajasthani, and many more, and for its distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. There is also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. They have a buffet available 11am-3pm Mon-Sat, alongside a ‘light bites’ menu. It’s definitely a hot favourite with the people of Lewes!

Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is a family run Indian bistro in the famous old lanes serving stunning food. Fronted by Brighton chef Alun Sperring, who has recently returned from Jumeirah in Dubai and has spent the last twenty years learning his trade around the world. The restaurant has a relaxed and informal feel, with an emphasis on authentic Indian and Nepalese dishes using local and organic produce. The daytime menu offers Indian street food, Thalis and Masala Dosa, a selection of beautiful loose teas and cakes and sweetmeats. Dinner is a more refined affair. Feast on a Spiced Tandoor Baked Shoulder of Lamb, Moilly Seafood Pot or Duck Egg Masala to name a few. Paired with a carefully chosen selection of Belgian and micro brewery beers to include original India pale ale.

42 Meeting House Lane, 01273 323824 www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk

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LATESTHOTLIST ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings.

It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value.

Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu which is utterly affordable with the signature setprice boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95.

16-17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

THAI Chokdee A premium takeaway and informal eaterie next to Hove Station where you can enjoy real Thai cooking. Chokdee serves a variety of popular Thai dishes, including tom yum soup, pad thai (stir-fried noodles) favourite red and green curries and a range of freshly stir-fried dishes, with vegetarian options. There’s a selection of home-made starters priced from £3.95. A plate of mixed starters is good value at £8.95 and includes chicken satay, Thai

fishcakes, mini spring rolls and mee krob noodles. Main courses include a good selection of vegetarian, duck and seafood dishes, and are made to each individual order using authentic Thai ingredients such as holy basil, kaffir lime leaves and galangal, coconut milk and chillis. Chokdee is licensed, with wines, saké and Thai beers. Open Monday to Saturday, for lunch and in the evening.

98 Goldstone Villas, Hove 01273 720370 www.chokdeethai.co.uk

Sabai The Thai word ‘sabai’ means comfortable, relaxed and chilled – precisely the way you’ll feel when you dine or have a drink with us. Filled with stylish, genuine Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. Browse our extensive menu of unique Sabai dishes, while sampling a cocktail or a bottle of wine from our comprehensive wine list. Try our gastronomic Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – many of which are grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners back in Thailand.

Come and enjoy – or as they say in Thailand: “Sanuk”!

165-169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030 www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com

Sawadee The Thai restaurant that people love for parties and celebrations because they always give the best of times. And why not, as this well-priced restaurant pleases repeatedly with dishes we have all grown to love, and new ones too. We were impressed by the use of authentic ingredients, such as pea aubergines where others use peas. Lots of fish dishes too with bass and pomfret and a great

sliced beef salad.

87 St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

stones’ throw away from Brighton Station.

Moksha Caffe, 4-5 York Place, Brighton, 01273 248890, www.mokshacaffe.com

COFFEE SHOPS BRUNCH Spinelli Coffee

Home café

Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with greattasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries. A place where customers are attended to by a dedicated team of the very best baristas, whose driving motivation is to provide the ultimate ‘coffee experience’. Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views. Everyone can find a place to sit and sip, get wrapped up in a good book, take advantage of the free Wi-Fi or just relax. Spinelli Coffee is located in the heart of Kemp Town Village, just off the corner of St George’s Road and College Road. Mon-Fri 8am-6pm, Sat 8:30am-6pm, Sun 9am-5pm.

Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819

Home by the arch at Queens Park, serves long, lazy brunches, delicious lunches and homemade cakes and treats. From pancake stacks dripping in maple syrup to eggs Benedict and locally roasted espresso coffee. If you've missed lunch or are in need of a late breakfast, we always have something to tempt you at Home. It's all in our name. At Home you will receive a warm welcome and quality homemade food sourced locally. We have a fully licensed bar, and make a killer bloody Mary, the perfect accompaniment to any brunch. Private parties catered for daytime and evening.

Open seven days a week 10am– 5pm 32 Egremont Place, Brighton, BN2 OGA, 01273 674456 www.homebrighton.co.uk

Moksha Caffe Brighton Moksha is Brighton’s ultimate independent café, with their own blend of locally roasted coffee made by highly trained baristas. They have an excellent range of homemade cakes and sandwiches all made on site with favourites like battenburg, quiches and gluten-free options like pistachio and orange biscotti.

Moksha is not your usual high street coffee shop with its spacious interior and the works of local artists. They are child friendly, have disabled access and free WIFI. Now open late Thur/Fri/Sat offering free aperitivos with any bottle of wine and 2-4-1 cocktails from 5–7pm. Located opposite St Peters Church and only a

BARS Koba Bar and Club Koba hosts a happy hour in the front bar between 5-7pm all week. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list, and of course, champagne for special occasions (or just for the love of it). The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. To book your private party, reserve your guestlist or to run through some ideas please contact: Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com

FREE Bottle of wine with any meal for 2 until 31st October

Max’s Sea Grill Brighton’s newest fish restaurant in the heart of Brighton Extensive range of freshly prepared grilled, steamed or battered fish Located opposite the Palace Pier on the Old Steine at Brighton’s premier 4-star boutique hotel Royal York Hotel, Old Steine, Brighton, BN1 1NP

Tel - 01273 766700 www.royalyorkbrighton.co.uk 18 latest 7

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HEALTH

See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk

Body beautiful Win a full body makeover for Christmas courtesy of Body Balance Fitness personal training

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Want to slim down, tone up and feel fantastic? Well, you could be in with the chance of doing just that by entering our competition to win ten free personal training sessions with fitness trainer, Rachael Woolston.

A qualified personal trainer and sought after media fitness expert who contributes to publications from Marie Claire to Now Health & Fitness, Rachael can help you on your way to achieving your dream body.

“My philosophy is to help my clients achieve their physical goals but also leave them feeling revitalised and balanced in mind, body and spirit,” explains Rachael. “I work everyone hard, but I don’t take a sergeant major approach.”

Having trained at the prestigious European Institute of Fitness, Rachael is also an experienced practitioner of yoga having worked with teachers both here and in India. As well as traditional resistance equipment, she is also one of the only trainers in the South Coast to use the TRX Suspension Training currently taking the US fitness world by storm.

With celebrity fans including Gwen Stefani and Tobey Maguire, the TRX Suspension Training utilises the weight of the body in suspension.

This forces the core muscles to work in order to stabilise the body throughout the movement, helping to create long, lean physiques that will help make you look like you’ve dropped half a stone in four weeks.

Perfect for getting into shape for the Christmas party season!

To be in with your chance to win ten free personal training sessions worth £400, along with a Body Balance Fitness MOT including a postural assessment, just tell us: Which muscles does the TRX Suspension Training work the most?

Send your answer to competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘Fitness’ in the subject box.

Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: 20 October 2008. Even if you are not lucky enough to win, contact Rachael at info@bodybalancefitness.co.uk for a free 20 minute Body Balance Fitness MOT consultation. (The competition and consultation are only open to Brighton and Hove residents. For more information about personal training with Rachael visit www.bodybalancefitness.co.uk

wave

Reach over 100,000 health-conscious readers across London and the Southeast with Wave, the region’s only free mind, body and soul monthly.

To advertise call Lucy Kamper on

01273 818160 If you would like to comment on this story please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

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HEALTH

Sun of Banksy A FREE sunbed!

Cardome has extended the Banksy graffiti exhibition with a further nine canvases now hung in Tube Station Tanning Salon.

Titles include Smiley Cop, Bomb Girl, Mild Mild West, Lovers, Sniff Cop, Whatever, Balloon Girl, Fallen Angel, Maid and more. Prices are just £65 for a 30"x20" canvas and only £29.99 for 18"x12".

You can also get your FREE trial of the unique Infra Tan units subject to availability and H&S. The other exhibition continues at the No Name restaurant/bar of larger Banksy Graffiti canvases.

If you take afternoon tea and cake anytime during September and October you will be given five raffle tickets for a draw in the first week of November where someone will win a canvas worth £65. www.cardome.co.uk 47a St James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 692916 www.tube-station-tanning.co.uk 47 St James’s Street, Brighton 01273 673421

+ SEB

LEWSLEY

(Producer/engineer for Edwyn, Duffy, The Gossip, Black Kids)

THIS SATURDAY 11th OCTOBER Upstairs @ the KOMEDIA 44, Gardner St, Brighton, BN1 1UN >> Tel: 01273-647100 11pm - 3am >> £12 in advance / on the door

FREE Da Doo CD comp (Vol. 6) to first 50 on the door Da Doo Ron Ron celebrate their 10th B’day with a one-off, NEVER to-be-repeated 60s girl pop, soul & funk DJ set from Edwyn Collins, solo star & former lead singer with Orange Juice.

Buy tkts online: http://komediabrighton.ticketsolve.com/events/events_for_show/701780 OR in-person fm the Komedia box-office

www.komedia.co.uk www.myspace.com/dadooronron60sgirlgroups

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on “As seen on as heard Channel 4, as featured o 4, BBC Radi e Out, m Ti , an ardi e in The Gu Times, Th NME, The per h City Pa rg bu tts Pi azia.”

(USA) & Gr

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latest listings Your weekly guide to what’s on

7 – 13 October

Seasick Steve p29

Under review Here’s our round up of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.thelatest.co.uk Victoria Nangle

Fatboy Slim At last! Worse than waiting for Christmas! But Big Beach Boutique 4 was finally here, and I was there – and it was amazing.

Pulled through the crowd by my determined mum, fingers in my ears – I was a bit scared but felt I was going to be okay in the packed audience. The atmosphere was brilliant, everyone having a good time.

Suddenly everybody started going mad, he was on stage, Fatboy Slim. I couldn’t believe it.

Lights, smoke and lasers all over the place – it was the happiest day of my life! ‘Praise You’ with the Albion goals against City on screen was great! ‘Wicked and Amazing’ is cool. Leaving was scary, the

BBC interviewed me and mum, and Fatboy’s autograph was stuffed in my pocket!

Marine Parade, 27 September ✌✌✌✌✌ Miles Garland

Elizabeth & Raleigh – Late But Live It’s a complicated relationship between a queen, her suitor and their potato.

Opening with comic Miles Jupp in full Elizabethan dress as the eponymous Sir Walter, singing the praises for himself bestowed upon him by his queen – as illustrated by an amusing slide show co-starring Jimmy Carr – this is nothing compared to the entrance of Queen Elizabeth I herself, portrayed by Simon Munnery.

Capturing the love, the ruthlessness and the power in their relationship, along with many an ‘in’ laugh for historians and comedy regulars alike, this ‘history’ educated and amused in equal measure. We expect no less from its writer Mr Stewart Lee. Komedia, 27 September ✌✌✌✌

HOT REVIEW OF THE WEEK Brighton Live 2008 A lower profile for this year’s local band showcase hasn’t diminished its quality. As usual, there’s a lot of the unremarkable (step forward bland funksters Echo State), but for every lame indie sop there’s some genuine talent on display. Prince Albert headliners My Device are mesmerising in their roaring, angular rock way, whilst Bitter Ruin are just as affecting, resplendent in acoustic guitar/screeching psychodrama brilliance. The highlight has to be dapper hepcats Sweet Sweet Lies, whose striking, swinging, party-starting Americana/jazz hybrid threatens to burst the tiny Bee’s Mouth wide open. These talented bands may or may not be heading for big things, but they sorely deserve to.

Various venues, 25/26 September ✌✌✌ Nick Aldwinckle

The Mystery Jets Play Silent Disco Barely a few notes into the first song and I was trying to eek out more volume and bass out of my chunky headphones with no success. Hecklers shouted for the sound to be turned up reassuring me that I didn’t get given some duds.

The free drink helped with listening to the boozed up, mainly student crowd sing the songs word for word. When the band paused, the drummer tapped out an improvised techno/gabba beat on his drum machine pads, raising a few smiles. Fun, but not the full experience.

Concorde 2, 23 September ✌✌✌ Rob Burdick

Enjoy 28 years ago, Alan Bennett wrote Enjoy, and predicted a world obsessed with ‘heritage’ and flyon-the-wall reality. What then was a flight of fancy, now has a renewed poignancy that had the audience on the edge of their seats.

His ability to balance serious issues with comedy is unrivalled but in the hands of the brilliant Alison Steadman and David Troughton it took on a poetic quality.

Stunning production values only added to what has to be the best new production we have seen this year.

Theatre Royal, 22 September ✌✌✌✌✌ Andrew Kay

NoFit State Circus A promenade experience, inviting cast to mingle, shouting instructions and goading each other – ensuring they started the show with empathy and excitement.

With spectacular aeronauticals kicking us off, whirling men in steel frames and beautiful ladies walking the tight rope, the show brought both serious and humourous moods out of our journey, with the show and its music.

The multi-media element proved surplus to requirements and with the ‘message’ unclear, this was simply very impressive artistry – high falutin’ morals not required.

Hove Lawns, 25 September ✌✌✌✌

24 Comedy Tim Minchin on cute girls and guys named Russell

24 Art Iraq: A Process of Resistance at Ink_d

25 Stage Fury, flutes, South African style, plus what’s on

26 Film Brazilian life in focus in Linha De Passe; listings

28 Events Get in the festive spirit at Lapland UK; listings

28 Books Sussex hops explored

29 Music The Aussie singer set to storm the UK; news; gigs

33 Music & Clubs Seven days of listings

34 Gay Will’s ‘Mr Write’; Wiccan tales; listings

36 Television Dani’s not enticed by Merlin’s magic, plus TV listings for the week

For complete and comprehensive listings go to thelatest.co.uk latest 7 21

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The Green Room @ The Cricketers

Sky Bar

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STAND-UP COMEDY

A laughing matter Victoria Nangle has a chinwag with hot ticket of the festival and pin-up for the comedy girlies – Tim Minchin Tim Minchin – award-winning comic, classical musician, big-word-user, swear-word lover and relocated Australian comic is on the line.

In describing his place in musical comedy he puts it simply: “I fell into comedy because I happen to be a songwriter that finds the humour or satire in lyrics.” In outlining his style he comments: “If you put me at a keyboard doing my songs that’s a totally different game from me sitting at a ten foot concert piano playing my songs.” He elaborates: “increasingly what you’re doing is tipping your hat to a particular style and the juxtaposition is between style and content”.

He’s a clever fella. So why do I ask him how he feels about his ever increasing popularity with student girls? He seems a bit stunned.

“It reflects well on society when ladies value a man’s brain over brawn in selecting their idols” “Something about young women. Look, I can’t explain to you how ridiculous that is to me. I just can’t.” He’s really stunned. “It’s just ridiculous.” However.

“But that’s great.” Bless him. “You look at someone like Russell and you get it. He’s a beautiful man.” I ask which Russell. “Russell Brand. All the Russells are cute, aren’t they? Russell Howard’s very cute. Russell Kane? Yeah, he’s cute.”But back on topic. “Having girlies like me – weird eh?” He gives it some thought. He’s a thoughtful man.

“I’m really proud that I have quite a strong student fanbase and again, usually young women. But generally interesting young women. Even just being a fan of comedy is a bit different.” He’s coming around. “I don’t know, there’s something cool about that rather than – it probably sounds a bit conceited – but rather than being a fan of a movie star. I like the idea of them being a fan of some average-looking guy playing songs about God.” We agree that it reflects well upon society when young ladies value a man’s brain over his brawn in selecting their idols.

Tim Minchin has a lot to say about a lot of things and I’m running out of room. Finally, how would he describe his show? He thinks – surprise, surprise. “It’s kind of big concepts in stupid little songs.” And you know those concepts will be well thought out and very, very funny.

Tim Minchin , Corn Exchange, Brighton, Sunday 12 October. Tickets £15/12.

☺

What is it good for?

Iraq: A Process of Resistance is an inspiring documentation of visual protest against the invasion of Iraq and the obliteration of civilian life from 2002-08. Using media images re-contextualised through the processes of art, the show offers an alternative view of the construction of war.

Peter Kennard and Cat Picton Phillipps began their collaborative work as a means to express their revulsion at the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq, and their work can be used as a resource by anyone protesting against the war, including magazines and newspapers.

This is a Brighton Photo Biennial exhibition.

Iraq: A Process of Resistance, Ink_d Gallery, North Road, Brighton, until 25 October

BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 292882 Chinese Whispers: Chinoiserie in Britain 1650–1930 With loans from HM The Queen, national museums and private collections, ‘Chinese Whispers’ tells three centuries of stories through rare and iconic objects.

Until 2 Nov

SYDNEY STREET GALLERY 27 Sydney Street, Brighton, 01273 818163 Justin Thomas: The Sunshine Bores The Daylight Out Of Me First exhibition of veteran music and celebrity photographer, featuring unseen images of many of rock and pops icons such as Marley, Bowie, Dylan, The Stones et al Until 16 November, Sun-Sat (not Monday)

CRANE KALMAN

Stand-up wisdom: “Velco. What a rip-off.” Tim Vine

COMEDYLISTINGS

38 Kensington Gardens, Brighton, 01273 697096 FotoRAMBLAS: Portraits from a Barcelona studio: The studio’s archive dating back to the 50s includes boxers, wrestlers, showgirls, musicians and actors alongside more traditional portraiture.

Until 9 November, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 10:30am–4:30pm

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Friday 10

DE LA WARR PAVILION

Lee Evans – Big Following the sell-out success of his 2005 UL UK tour, Britain's favourite funny man is back. Brighton Centre, 7pm, £30.

Comedy Festival Gala With Alan Carr & Friends Alan is joined by some friends from the comedy world to bring you a fantastic show all in aid of Sussex Beacon. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £30.

Bexhill-on-Sea 01424 229111 The Sublime Image of Destruction Battlefield ‘aftermath’ images with bleak, lyrical and painterly images by Simon Norfolk, Paul Seawright and Broomberg and Chanarin.

3 October - 4 Jan, Mon-Sun 10am-6pm

Wednesday 8 Bill Bailey's Remarkable Guide To The Orchestra Anne Dudley and the BBC Concert Orchestra join classically trained musician and hirsute comedian Bill Bailey in his surreal and musical imagination.

Brighton Dome, 8pm, £30

Saturday 11 Jason Manford Multi-award winning comedian and star of 8 Out Of 10 Cats.

Corn Exchange, 7:30pm, £14/12.

Sunday 12 Tim Minchin – Ready For This See above. Corn Exchange, 7:30pm, £15/12

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➧ For full listings go to latest7.co.uk/listings

ART LISTINGS

FABRICA 40 Duke Street, Brighton 01273 778646 Thomas Hirschhorn: The Incommensurable Banner Hirschhorn makes images that draws upon pictures of bodies torn apart by modern munitions.

3 October-16 November, Wed-Sat, 11.30am-5pm, Sun, 2-5pm

INK_D GALLERY 96 North Road, Brighton, 01273 645299 Iraq: A Process of Resistance Peter Kennard and Cat Picton-Phillipps present an alternative view on the construction of war as part of the Brighton Photo Fringe.

3-25 October, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm

PELHAM HOUSE St Andrews Lane, Lewes Maria Kuipers Conjuring feelings of mystery and transition, Kuipers uses metaphors and symbols throughout her paintings.

Until 15 October

Phoenix Gallery 10–14 Waterloo Place, Brighton, 01273 603700 Entre-deux new work arising out of a photographic exchange project involving Phoenix Brighton anf French partner Diaphane.

Part of Brighton Photo Fringe 4 Oct-6 Dec, Tues–Sat 11am–5pm

PERMANENT GALLERY 20 Bedford Place, Brighton Reconciliation: Jason Evans Evans revisits his back catalogue, this time around focussing on the theme of street photography, in order to facilitate specualtion about the nature of the discipline.

Until 5 October, Tues-Sat 10am-5pm, Sundays 1-5pm

BLANK 108 North Street, Portslade, Greenland, Motherland: Landscapes of Longing Simon Roberts and Rosa Ugarte present a joint exhibition with unique and personal visions of landscapes (Russia and Greenland respectively) and people living through dramatic change.

Until 19 October, Tues-Fri 10am-4pm, Sat & Sun 10am-6pm

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STAGE

Clowning glory Komedia to host Brighton debut of new Monkeydog drama A Sustained Note of Fury After four years of R&D, Brighton’s Monkeydog Productions are to stage their new play, A Sustained Note of Fury, at the Komedia Studio.

Following on from a triumphant premiere at Smallhythe Place in Kent, Robert Cohen’s ‘melanchomedy’ will make its home town debut under the direction of variety and West End veteran Johnny Worthy.

A Sustained Note of Fury is the tale of Otto Ronaldi Jr (Robert Cohen), a circus clown struggling to emerge from the shadow of his much more popular and well-loved clown father. Because Papa would never let him share the limelight, Otto Jr ran away from Stubberfields circus – but now, 19 years on, the old man is dead, and the son returns, expecting to inherit the clownic crown.

With Otto on this journey is wife and manager Adele (Peta Taylor). With younger, more lucrative clients coming onto her books, she’s equally keen to see her high-maintenance husband settled in his father’s old job. Life, of course, is never that simple – but whatever happens, one thing’s for sure: a turning-point is looming for Otto and Adele.

Robert Cohen’s previous work has included playing Mr Pink in Reservoir Dogs at the Edinburgh Festival and touring his self-penned one-man political tragicomedy The Death of Nelson. Peta Taylor has been winning acclaim for her performances for the past 20 years, most recently appearing in The Laramie Project and Hallucinating Elvis. Johnny Worthy has five decades of experience behind him, as actor, dancer, choreographer, writer and director. Career highlights have included the original production of Jesus Christ Superstar, Harold Pinter’s production of Sweet Bird of Youth (with Lauren Bacall), and Trevor Nunn’s Glyndebourne Porgy and Bess. Recent directorial work has included a sell-out production of Jacques Brel is Alive and Well at the Nightingale Theatre, Brighton.

A Sustained Note of Fury, Komedia Studio, Sunday 5th-Wednesday 8th October, 8pm Tickets £10 (£8 concs), bookable in advance on 01273 733636 or 07771 990691 monkeydoggery.googlepages.com. NB: Contains at least seven rude words!

STAGELISTINGS

Tuesday 7 October to Monday 3 November THE BARN Southwick St, Southwick, 01273 597094 Someone Who’ll Watch Over Me, Inspired by the plight of Brian Keenan and John McArthy taken hostage in Beirut • 15–18 Oct, £9 call veue for times

BRIGHTON CORN EXCHANGE 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Dear Body – Protein Dance Over 16s only.

• 7–8 Oct, 8pm, £10–£15

CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk The Magic Flute- Impempe Yomlingo (see highlights) • 13–16 Oct, £10–£29, 7.30pm plus 2pm Thurs

EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Our House • 7–11 Oct, 7.30pm, 2.30pm mat Thu & Sat, £12.50–£26.50

London Philharmonic Orchestra • 12 Oct & 2 Nov, 3pm, £12–£28 Don Cossacks State Dance Company • 15 Oct, 7.30pm, £18–£21.50

EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk One For The Pot • 7–11 Oct, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Wed and Sat, £13.50–£19.50 Murder with Love • 13–18 Oct, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Wed and Sat, £13.50–£19.50 Alex • 21–25 Oct, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Wed and Sat, £13.50–£19.50 Treasure Island • 29 Oct–1 Nov, 7.30pm, Thu & Sat mat 2.30pm, £10–£12

Magic and marimbas A South African take on The Magic Flute at Chichester Festival Theatre A Cape Town theatre company will bring their own unique South African version of Mozart’s The Magic Flute to Chichester Festival Theatre from 13 October.

Isango/Portobello present The Magic Flute – Impempe Yomlingo a retelling of the opera classic complete with an orchestra of marimbas, drums and township percussion and a cast of over 30 singers. Impempe Yomlingo translates ‘The Magic Flute’ in Xhosa and this new adaptation reinvents the traditional version, relocating Mozart’s world to a contemporary South African township setting, which encompasses the various languages of the nation, including English.

Originating at the Young Vic Theatre in London, The Magic Flute played to critical acclaim and broke box office records, transferring to the West End where it proceeded to win the Laurence Olivier Award for Best Musical Revival and the Theatregoers Choice Award.

Isango/Portobello is based in Cape Town. Formed and led by producer Eric Abraham, director Mark Dornford-May and singer Pauline Malefane, the company predominantly draws performers from across the townships surrounding the city. Specialising in re-imagining Western classics within an African or township setting to create new works which are relevant to the heritage of the nation.

Their previous productions have included versions of Bizet’s Carmen, Brecht’s The Beggar’s Opera and Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.

Their goal is to create a positive celebratory message coming through the work, showcasing something glorious coming out of Africa.

The Magic Flute – Impempe Yomlingo is at Chichester Festival Theatre 13-16 October.

Tickets are £10-£29 available online at www.cft.org.uk or from the Box Office on 01243 781312

A Sustained Note Of Fury Tale of a circus clown emerging from his father’s shadow • 7–8 Oct, 8pm, £10/£8

THE MARLBOROUGH THEATRE 01273 570028 www.the-marlborough.co.uk Carnival of the Dead The Exorcist interactive screening experience • 31 Oct–1 Nov, call venue for times/£

THEATRE ROYAL 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroya All the Fun of the Fair Starring David Essex • 7–11 Oct, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Wed & Sat. £17.50–£29.50 Romeo & Juliet • 17–25 Oct, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Thu & Sat. £17–£27 The Tiger Who Came to Tea • 30 Oct–1 Nov, 10.30am, plus 1.30pm Fri, 12.30pm Sat, £10.50–£12 And Then There Were None • 3–8 Nov, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Thu & Sat, £13–£25

WORTHING: ASSEMBLY HALL 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Orchestra • 20 Oct, 8pm, £27.50/£25

KOMEDIA

WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE

Book on: 01273 733636

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

If you would like to comment on these stories please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk

‘Allo ‘Allo René’s the most wanted man in occupied France • 7–11 Oct, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed, 2.30pm Sat, £13–£22 Horrible Histories Two shows • 14–18 Oct, The Terrible Tudors: Tue & Sat 7pm, Wed & Fri 10.30am, Thu 1.30pm.

The Vile Victorians: Wed 1.30pm, Thu 10.30am. Fri 7pm, Sat 2pm, £11/£9 Don’t Look Now • 21–25 Oct, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed and 2.30pm Sat, £13–£22 Fifi Live – The Fairy & The Flower Tots • 27–28 Oct, 3.30pm Mon, 11am & 2pm Tues, £14 adults, £12 children, £48 family ticket

WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Spirit of the Dance • 9–10 Oct, 8pm, £17.50–£21.50 Fame: The Musical • 15–18 Oct, 7.45pm, plus 2.45pm Sat,£12–£14 The Big Ballet • 19 Oct, 7.30pm, £19/£17 Don Cossacks State Dance Company • 20 Oct, 7.30pm, £17.50–£21.50 Sing A Long A Sound Of Music • 25 Oct, 7pm, £14.50 Oliver • 28 Oct, 2.30pm & 7.30pm, £12/£10 Syd Lawrence Orchestra • 31 Oct, 7.30pm, £16.50/£14.50

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FILM www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 7

Thursday 9

BRIDESHEAD REVISITED (15) 2.20, 5.30, 8.30 DEATH RACE (15) 2.00, 9.15 THE DUCHESS (12A) 4.25, 6.50 HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE (15) 2.45, 6.00, 8.45 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 2.15, 5.30 MONGOL (15) 8.40 RIGHTEOUS KILL (15) 2.00, 4.20, 6.45, 9.15 TAKEN (15) 2.00, 4.10, 6.15, 8.30 THE WOMEN (12A) 2.30, 8.20 TROPIC THUNDER (15) 3.00, 6.15, 9.00

BRIDESHEAD REVISITED (15) 10.45, 2.20, 5.30, 8.30 DEATH RACE (15) 2.00, 9.15 THE DUCHESS (12A) 4.25, 6.50 HAPPY-GO-LUCKY (15) 10.30 HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE (15) 2.45, 6.00, 8.45 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 2.15, 8.40 MAMMA MIA! SINGALONG (PG) 5.30 PINEAPPLE EXPRESS (15) 5.45 RIGHTEOUS KILL (15) 2.00, 4.20, 6.45, 9.15 TAKEN (15) 2.00, 4.10, 6.15, 8.30 THE WOMEN (12A) 2.30, 8.20 TROPIC THUNDER (15) 3.00, 6.15, 9.00

Wednesday 8 BRIDESHEAD REVISITED (15) 2.20, 5.30, 8.30 DEATH RACE (15) 2.00, 9.15 THE DUCHESS (12A) 4.25, 6.50 HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE (15) 2.45, 6.00, 8.45 MAMMA MIA! (PG) 2.15, 5.30, 8.40 PINEAPPLE EXPRESS (15) 5.45 RIGHTEOUS KILL (15) 2.00, 4.20, 6.45, 9.15 TAKEN (15) 2.00, 4.10, 6.15, 8.30 THE WOMEN (12A) 2.30, 8.20 TROPIC THUNDER (15) 3.00, 6.15, 9.00

Films showing Friday 10-Monday 13 BRIDESHEAD REVISITED (12A) DEATH RACE (15) THE DUCHESS (12A) HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE(15) MIRRORS (TBC) RIGHTEOUS KILL(15) TROPIC THUNDER (15) THE WOMEN (12A)

01273 626261 Tuesday 7

Saturday 11

I’VE LOVED YOU SO LONG (12A) 1.30, 6.30 LINHA DE PASSE (15) 4.00, 9.00

BOO, ZINO AND THE SNURKS (U) 11.00 GOMORRAH (15) 2.00 MET. OPERA: SALOME (TBC) 5.45, 6.00

I’VE LOVED YOU SO LONG (12A) 1.30, 6.30 LINHA DE PASSE (15) 4.00, 9.00 MAMMA MIA! (BIG SCREAM) (PG) 11.00am

Sunday 12

Thursday 9

GOMORRAH (15) 1.00, 3.30, 6.15, 9.00

GOMORRAH (15) 1.30, 4.00, 6.45, 9.30

Monday 13

I’VE LOVED YOU SO LONG (12A) 1.30, 6.30 LINHA DE PASSE (15) 4.00, 9.00

Friday 10 GOMORRAH (15) 12.00, 2.30, 5.15, 8.15

New releases reviewed

Gomorrah (15) Dir: Matteo Garrone Based on the bestselling book by Roberto Saviano,this is an unsentimental addition to the Mafia genre. The title refers to the system of power and regulation that the residents of Naples and Caserta must obey and abide by in Italy. The film weaves five stories together in a violent scenario that sees the individual come second to pride and revenge. This visceral work, echoing recent Mafioso headlines in Italy, benefits from Garrone's understated style.

Winner of the Grand Prix at Cannes this is Goodfellas after a strict workout.

Showing at Duke of York’s Craig Driver

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

Boo, Zino & the Snurks (U)

Dir: Lenard Fritz Krawinkel and Holger Tappe With the thespian talents of Patrick Stewart and Emily Watson lending their vocal talents to proceedings you’d be forgiven for thinking this might be a superbly tight kiddies adventure. Sadly, this British/German animation is weak and set in the beautiful world of Gaya, home to a community of tiny creatures known as the Snurks. Things get hairy when a magical stone is stolen and the Snurks must travel to another world to save their friends and their home.

Mad and cute and flighty throughout.

Showing at Duke of Yorks

www.cineworld.co.uk

0871 200 2000 Tuesday 7

Thursday 9

BRIDESHEAD REVISITED (12A)11.30, 2.30, 5.30,8.30 THE BOY IN THE STRIPED PYJAMAS (12A) 1.10, 3.50, 6.20, 8.40 DEATH RACE (15) 1.20, 4.00, 9.10 FLY ME TO THE MOON 3D (U) 12.10, 2.10, 4.20, 6.30 HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE (15) 12.50, 3.30, 6.10, 9.00 MAMMA MIA!(PG) 12.20, 3.00, 5.40, 8.20 RIGHTEOUS KILL(15) 8.50 SWEENEY TODD (18) 11.00 TAKEN(15) 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 TROPIC THUNDER (15) 1.30, 4.10, 6.50, 9.30

BRIDESHEAD REVISITED (12A)11.30, 2.30, 5.30,8.30 THE BOY IN THE STRIPED PYJAMAS (12A) 1.10, 3.50, 6.20, 8.40 DEATH RACE (15) 1.20, 4.00, 6.40, 9.10 FLY ME TO THE MOON 3D (U) 12.10, 2.10, 4.20, 6.30 HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE (15) 12.50, 3.30, 6.10, 9.00 MAMMA MIA!(PG) 12.20, 3.00, 5.40, 8.20 RIGHTEOUS KILL(15) 8.50 TAKEN(15) 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 TROPIC THUNDER (15) 1.30, 4.10, 6.50, 9.30

Wednesday 8

BRIDESHEAD REVISITED (12A) THE BOY IN THE STRIPED PYJAMAS (12A) DEATH RACE (15) HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 (TBC) HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE(15) MIRRORS (TBC) TAKEN (15) TROPIC THUNDER (15)

BRIDESHEAD REVISITED (12A)11.30, 2.30, 5.30,8.30 THE BOY IN THE STRIPED PYJAMAS (12A) 1.10, 3.50, 6.20, 8.40 DEATH RACE (15) 1.20, 4.00, 6.40, 9.10 FLY ME TO THE MOON 3D (U) 12.10, 2.10, 4.20, 6.30 HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE (15) 12.50, 3.30, 6.10, 9.00 MAMMA MIA!(PG) 12.20, 3.00, 5.40, 8.20 RIGHTEOUS KILL(15) 8.50 TAKEN(15) 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 TROPIC THUNDER (15) 1.30, 4.10, 6.50, 9.30

Films showing Friday 10–Monday 13

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

01903 206206 Tues 7 Oct - Mon 13 Oct

Sat 11 Oct

BRIDESHEAD REVISITED (12A)1.30 (Weds), 2.00 (Sat,Sun), 5.00, 7.30 (Mon), 8.00

COLLEGE ROAD TRIP (U) 10.15

Tues 7 Oct - Thurs 9 Oct

THE DUCHESS (12A) 2.00 (Thurs), 7.30 (Tues, Wed)

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CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILMS/TIMES

www.picturehouses.co.uk

Wednesday 8

L7 lowdown

Mon 13 Oct MAMMA MIA! (PG) 2.00 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

Brideshead Revisited (12A)

Dir: Julien Jarrold After directing the slightly disappointing efforts Kinky Boots and Becoming Jane, Jarrold helms this new adaptation of Evelyn Waugh’s 1945 novel. The story itself follows two male students at Oxford who fall in love against a backdrop of war and changing attitudes to morality and class. Ben Winshaw and Matthew Goode are excellent in the two leads as Emma Thompson and Michael Gambon add a touch of faux aristocratic finesse.

This is dreary cinema for all its grand literary flourishes.

Showing at Odeon, Cineworld, Worthing

Elegy (15) Director: Isabel Coixet Based on Pulitzer Prize winning author Philip Roth’s novel The Dying Animal, this adult drama is a hotbed of nervy sexual jitters. Starring Academy Award winner Ben Kingsley as an ageing academic and Oscar nominee Penelope Cruz as a fiery student who awakens his sexual appetite this is heavy if slightly pretentious stuff. With some stirling supporting performances from Dennis Hopper and Peter Sarsgaard this still remains an oh-too worthy trip into a derelict male fantasy shot rigid with cliché.

Coming to the Duke of York’s 14/10

Fly Me To The Moon 3D (U)

Dir: Ben Stassen Welcome to the first ever animated movie made specifically for 3D technology. The concept itself is simple enough - three young houseflies stow away aboard the Apollo 11 flight to the moon. Things, predictably, don’t go smoothly.

Heading up the voice cast is Frankenfurter himself Tim Curry and sometime T-1000 Robert Patrick. Along for the eye-popping ride into space is NASA legend Buzz Aldrin and comedy icon Christopher Lloyd. The 3D effects are great but the film much less so.

Showing at Cineworld Craig Driver Brideshead Revisited

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The boy from Brazil South American director Walter Salles tells Latest 7 about his new film Linha De Passe To what extent is Linha based in reality?

Generally, the film's based on real stories that we've integrated into a single story. For instance, Reginaldo [the youngest son] was inspired by a real life story in Brazil: a fourteen-year-old boy went searching for his father, knowing only that he was a bus driver.

The boy ended up driving a bus for three hours before getting stopped.

How was it sharing directing duties with Daniela Thomas?

We just did it, I can't really define how.

Because we're two, we become ten or twenty. The film is a team effort. There's also lots of discussion with the crew and actors things are up for grabs. We've tried to return to the concept of film as a collective adventure, enriched by different perspectives.

When I shoot with Daniela the result is

harsher, grittier than if I were alone. It becomes more immediate with her on board.

There's a dialectic, everything's shared, made with four hands. What I like about making a four-handed film is that it fosters the possibility of destabilization.

How much of the film was improvised?

We didn't block the actors - the camera serves them. And there was constant improvisation - at least twenty percent was not written. The actors had a lot of freedom in their gestures, action and language, which is very interesting.

Elsewhere you've stated that through film, you'd like to periodically take the pulse of life in Brazil.

Yes, there's a chronic absence of the father in Brazil - 25 percent are absent from the family.

Women who run the family are a moral force.

In the film there are ersatz fathers: the pastor, the bus driver, the trainer. But the mother in Linha says something very telling to her son: “I'm both the father and mother of all of you.”

That's also true for me and Daniela!

It seems as if São Paulo is almost a sixth character in the film.

São Paulo is huge. There's no escape from it, like in Rio, where there's the sea. São Paulo is overwhelming - its streets, underpasses, new neighbourhoods and constant growth. It's like a city at the end of the world. We dove into the city's outskirts. We knew where the family lived, which buses they took. The characters lived together in the house where we shot the film There are many intersecting stories in the film. How did you find fitting it all together into one coherent whole?

We saw the script not only as a single dramatic structure, but as about characters who dive into each other. In the editing room we tried different ways of breaking up the scenes, but in the final montage we returned to our original vision. It's a dysfunctional family, a family in collision. But there's also a deep connection between them.

Linha De Passe is showing at the Duke of York’s

Also showing…

A quick look at what’s on this week Death Race (15) Dir: Paul W.S Anderson Based on Roger Corman’s 70s cult exploitation classic Deathrace 2000, the 2008 version is something of a labour of love for that overgrown teenager of the cinema, Paul W.S Anderson, director of Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil and Event Horizon. In between directing video game adaptations, he’s been developing this dystopian actioner for years. Lunkhead for hire Jason Statham plays a convict in the familiar near future. Forced to take part in the brutal competition Deathrace, where the contenders race and, erm, kill each other, along with innocent bystanders, Statham fights for his life and TV ratings. This might just work if it retains any of the original’s black comedy and tongue in cheek action.

Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Happy-Go-Lucky (15) Dir: Mike Leigh It was a while (four years) since Mike Leigh’s last cinematic outing, and the break’s cheered him up a little. Lightening the tone after a career that has included the unrelentingly grim Naked and acclaimed abortion drama Vera Drake, Happy-GoLucky follows easy-going primary teacher Poppy’s

daily life. Played by Fingersmith’s Sally Hawkins, after her bike is stolen, Poppy takes up driving lessons, then flamenco, smiling all the way.

Almost uncharacteristically upbeat, and more than characteristically critically acclaimed, this further confirms Leigh as one of Britain’s best living directors.

Showing at Odeon How to Lose Friends and Alienate People (15) Dir: Robert B. Weide Spaced and Shaun of the Dead star Simon Pegg continues his slow climb up the Hollywood ranks with this adaptation of Toby Young’s book about being a Brit trying to make it in the fashionable New York magazine scene. With Curb Your Enthusiasm director Robert B Weide at the helm, this promises to replicate much of the book’s comedic awkwardness, social satire and self-deprecating wit. A stellar cast including Jeff Bridges, Kirsten Dunst and Megan Fox bolster proceedings, though after some bad reviews, it remains to be seen whether or not this can be something more than the usual patronising Englishman in New York scenario.

Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

Mamma Mia! (PG) Dir: Phyllida Lloyd A young woman searches for her real father whilst singing along to ‘Dancing Queen’, ‘Mamma Mia’ and other hits by Swedish supertroopers Abba. Meryl Streep, Colin Firth, Stellan Skarsgård and Pierce Brosnan are all game for the big screen adaptation of the longrunning stage musical.

Showing at Cineworld, Odeon & Worthing Righteous Kill (15) Dir: Jon Avnet Fried Green Tomatoes director Jon Avnet’s been ploughing away at film and TV production/direction for years now, so he must be rubbing his hands with glee at securing the dream pairing of Robert De Niro and Al Pacino for this crime thriller. Touted as the first full feature where the legendary actors share the screen (after Heat’s famous coffee scene and starring in different time zones in The Godfather Part II), Righteous Kill has conversely had a lukewarm critical reception. Still, fans of both stars will be seduced by the novelty of seeing their heroes together, fighting crime.

Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

Pineapple Express (15) Dir: David Gordon Green Knocked Up and Superbad star Seth Rogen continues his ascent to the big screen geek hero above all others in this stoner-actionbuddy-comedy. Rogen plays waster Dale with Spiderman brooder James Franco as his dealer Saul, admirably playing against type in madcap fashion. When Dale witnesses a murder, he and Saul go on the run, providing an interesting spin on the action genre all the way.

Showing at Odeon Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street (18) Dir: Tim Burton Another chance to catch the cinematic love affair between Tim Burton and Johnny Depp in this daring adaptation of Stephen Sondheim’s 70s Broadway musical. It says a lot about the bankability of this double act that an R-rated opera starring a cast who have largely never sung before makes it to the big screen – interesting if nothing else. Depp plays a wrongly convicted barber who wreaks bloody vengeance on those who have wronged him after release from jail. Featuring Mrs Burton – Helena Bonham Carter – Alan Rickman and Borat star Sacha Baron Cohen Showing at Cineworld Nick Aldwinckle

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10/3/08

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latest music ★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★

NEWS Great Escape Hard to think about next year but we thought you should know that The Great Escape is back in 2009 and early bird tickets are now available for industry people. You can also register as a band/musician if you fancy a shot at playing at next year’s expo. Bear in mind that places are extremely limited and you might be better off organising your own gig and be part of the Alternative Great Escape, a sort of Fringe to the main Festival.

The Great Escape, 14-16 May 2009 www.escapegreat.com

Whirling Dervish A troupe of ecstatic Sufi Whirling Dervishes will bring a new twist to this year’s World Sacred Music Festival, which takes place 12-19 October in venues around the city. Brighton residents can learn to whirl at special Whirlomg Workshops; find out about the Sufi tradition at the festival’s first Symposium; and immerse themselves in this mystic musical tradition at the Sufi and Mystic Music Night.

The festival will also feature world-class international artists from India, Japan, China, the Middle East and Eastern Europe alongside local Brighton talent. www.worldsacredmusic.org

Nice to Sia Aussie songstress Sia is fast becoming a star as Jeff Hemmings discovers In this increasingly homogenised world of pop we need people like Sia more than ever. Quirky, slightly mad, offbeat and a maverick, Sia Furler is on the verge of A-list stardom.

Now based in New York, I've caught her on a bit of a day off. "I'm just hanging around, walking dogs, and looking at David Blaine (who's doing his hanging thing in Central Park apparently), then I've got my therapy, and then I'm going to row a boat with my friend whose birthday party it is and then it's my friend’s album launch and then I'll water the plants... " Sia is keeping busy as she almost invariably does whether working or not.

"I'm in my writing mode at the moment," she says.

"I've just been in LA writing for a new album and for this massive pop star (who cannot be named, Sia informs me, though I think it could be Christina Aguilera) bumped (dropped) me, which was very disappointing (although it has been re-scheduled for another time, apparently). I’ve written 26 songs so far and I leave on Saturday for my UK tour. Touring is definitely work!! There seems to be a cycle to what I do; write, do promo and then tour. Writing is definitely my favourite part.”

Sia's been around for a while now; born and raised in Australia she fronted acid-jazzers Crisp before embarking on a solo album in ‘97. Looking to the future and the limited opportunities in her homeland she moved to the UK, which included a spell in Steyning in Sussex, where her boyfriend at the time was an alpaca farmer (bred for their wool, and which fetch huge prices).

Her R’n’B inflected debut album here, Healing Is Difficult, saw her being earmarked as the next Nelly Furtado or Lauryn Hill, and which included the top ten hit ‘Taken For Granted’. Her second album Colour The Small One failed to capitalise but the song ‘Breathe Me’ was used on the final series of Six Feet Under, and in the meantime she was broadening her fanbase via Zero 7, with whom she has sung on many tracks spread over their three albums to date.

With her emotive vocal performances and captivating song writing, she's been making bigger and bigger waves in the US, where she's been based the last three years. Her deeply seductive brand of dysfunction has seen her quietly collect a legion of dedicated fans including A-list luminaries such as Beck who she has written with on a couple of ocassions. But it’s taken some time to reach this point. “After all these years of trying, the second I stopped worrying about being a success, I got successful. It’s like how I stopped worrying about being a cool and credible artist. I realised that I’m a credible person and that I don’t care what demographic I appeal to any more.”

Her most recent album Some People Have REAL Problems, is a very assured album that finds the sweet spot between love and longing, and which has taken her to the verge of stardom here in the UK as well as the USA. Indeed, so good is life for Sia that she now fears she may lose her grasp of reality for entirely different reasons, hence the album title.

“It was a joke when we were recording. We were having really bourgeois problems, like traffic and bad coffee. We had to keep reminding ourselves that some people have REAL problems, like not having a mum or legs… I’m getting pretty rich and pretty famous and I’m scared of becoming a f***ing arsehole. So the title’s a reminder to me, not to get too carried away.”

Sia, Wednesday 8 October, Concorde 2

UPCOMING GIGS

Keane Indie pop kings back with new material and new haircuts.

10 February 2009, Brighton Centre,

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

Does It Offend You, Yeah? 20 Oct, Concorde 2 Dr John 21 October, Dome Martha Wainwright 25 Oct, St Georges Ch. The Hoosiers 25 October, Brighton Centre The Holloways 28 October, Concorde 2 Lambchop 29 October, St Georges Church Level 42 30 October, Dome The View 31 October, Old Market Hot Chip 5 November, Dome Motorhead 6 November, Dome Scouting For Girls 3 Nov, Brighton Centre Beth Rowley 5 Nov, Old Market Nitin Sawnhey 6 Nov, Corn Exchange Noah & The Whale 7 Nov, Concorde 2 Steve Winwood 10 November, Dome Horace Andy 10 Nov, Old Market Mercury Rev 11 Nov, Corn Exchange

Feeder 11 November, Dome Katie Melua 11 November, Brighton Centre Cardiacs 17 November, Komedia The Whip 18 November, Concorde 2 Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds 23 November, Brighton Centre Nouvelle Vague 24 November, Corn Exchange Leonard Cohen 28 November,Brighton Centre Primal Scream 2 December, Dome Alabama 3 2 & 3 December, Concorde 2 Will Young 4 December, Dome Human League 5 December, Brighton Centre Neville Staple 6 December, Concorde 2 Joan As Policewoman 7 Dec, Concorde 2 Jools Holland 6 December, Brighton Centre Status Quo 12 December, Brighton Centre Maddy Prior 15 December, Hove Centre

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030_LS393 music previews/Jaime

2/10/08

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MUSIC

MUSIC HIGHLIGHTS Seasick Steve

Juana Molina Juana Molina has been making quiet folktronica jewels for a while now. Not renouncing her Argentinean moods, Molina explores the wilder shores of folk, somewhat reminiscent of Animal Collective, or Devendra Banhart in subdued moments.

Whispered rather than sung, her songs will seep into your body and transport you.

Tuesday 7 October, Komedia Seasick Steve After leaving home at the age of 14, he became a genuine hobo (hopping freights, working the farms, getting locked up and such) in the 1950s and 1960s – but always dragging along his 100-year-old guitar with him, playing on street corners to earn enough to eat. This era is the inspiration behind the music he plays today, and boy does he have an arsenal of tales to tell!

Tuesday 7 October, Corn Exchange Sia Australia’s finest pop princess, is possibly most well known for her work with Zero 7. She has also worked alongside Beck, and recorded music for hit show Six Feet Under. But past that, she has been one of the best pop artists since the late 90s, releasing three studio albums of pure pop mastery. The outstanding characteristic of her beautiful music is her delicate voice, soft and intimate yet powerful.

Wednesday 8 October, Concorde 2 Laura Vane + Seany Clarke + Gala Orsborn Great triple bill of Brighton music headlined by the stunning soul of Laura Vane, followed by the excellent funky soul of Clarke and the acoustic indie pop of Gala Orsborn.

Friday 10 October, Latest Music Bar

Stephen Stills Legendary guitarist/singersongwriter Stephen Stills’ work spans five decades and several iconic groups (Manassas, CSN&Y, Buffalo Springfield). Ranked No.28 on Rolling Stone’s list of the 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time, Stills also possesses a richly soulful voice. Getting on in years and looking the worse for wear, there may not be many more opportunities to witness him live.

Friday 10 October, Brighton Centre Three Bonzos & a Piano An evening of total chaos and musical mayhem including previously unperformed material from three members of the original Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band back catalogue, complete with psychedelic instruments and a proper rock production and their pianist chum attempting to keep them on a leash.

Saturday 11 October, Latest Music Bar Ruarri Joseph + Andy Yorke This dishevelled Cornwallian dude released the outstanding acoustic indie pop album Tales of Grime & Grit last year on Atlantic, but has since left the label under a cloud, deciding instead to pursue a more independent career. Good for him!

Check out one of the more melodic and original singer-songwriters on the circuit.

Monday 13 October, Prince Albert Cajun Dance Party Forerunners of the underage movement and gaining momentum with each growing day and each gig. Their indie alternative rock anthems rival many of today’s established bands, and having just finished their A levels these chaps, and ladies, are still in their teens.

Monday 13 October, Concorde 2

2 COURSES AND A GLASS OF WINE THE BRASSERIE LATIN IN THE LANE FISH & GRILL 10–11 Kings Road, Brighton, 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina East Sussex BN1 1NE Village, Brighton BN2 5WA 01273 328672 01273 698989 Bookings must be made in advance. Please mention this advert when booking.

Terms and conditions: Must bring the coupon to claim – one coupon up to six people.

Excludes Bank Holidays and Saturday evenings.

30 latest 7

031_LS393 music_reviews jeff

10/3/08

1:18 PM

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MUSIC

MUSIC REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases London Underground is the eighth album from Nitin Sawnhey, a work that documents the polarising and transitional changes that have occurred since 9/11. Featuring Paul McCartney, Imogen Heap, Natty, Tina Grace, Anoushka Shankaar and Ojos de Brujo amongst others, this is a graceful and elegant document encompassing drum ’n’ bass, soul, trip hop and gently grooving downbeat textures to beguiling effect.

Beta Band founder Gordon Anderson has a history of mental health problems, reflected in his madas-you-like band The Aliens, purveyors of psychedelic music that resonates with late 60s period Pink Floydisms. Gordon and fellow ex-Beta Banders are obviously obsessive fans of Syd Barratt, but unlike a lot of overstylised and half-baked psychedelia there’s a hell of a lot happening on Luna, their second album; plenty of melodic interludes laced with deeply experimental soundscapes, making this an album that could take a while to get tired of. Old-fashioned ‘head’ music but sometimes sounds too much like their obsession, Pink Floyd.

Showing an affinity for that reverb-drenched rock ’n’ roll sound of the pre-Beatles period, Ireland’s Eugene McGuinness produces slightly offbeat, ramshackle music held together by the thinnest of strings. Not exactly hummable, yet its gleeful abandon is rather infectious as is his voice, not unlike Ron Sexsmith’s.

Former Brighton resident Max Tundra has his perseverance being paid off (he’s been releasing records since ‘98), with the stunning Parallax Error Beheads You. Its title may reveal the essential geeky nerdiness of Ben Jacobs, but it also reveals the light playfulness of his work. The music features his sublime skills as a producer, arranger and musician; using many ancient, simple and old school musical machinery. They call it cosmic glitch-pop R&B, where Todd Rundgren meets Scritti Politti. Outstanding.

Next up is a double bill from not actually Canadian label Secret Canadian. First is the latest album by Damien Jurado, Caught In The Trees. Though by no means a bad album, where Caught In The Trees fails is in lacking anything marking Jurado out against the myriad other singersongwriters putting together slightly jaunty-sounding acoustic rock with a dark underbelly. At times, thoroughly engaging, too often this is all too easily forgotten, which is something Catfish Haven can’t be accused of, and not only for their brilliantly silly name.

Boldly, some might say arrogantly, entitled Devastator, evoking classic rock album titles such as Lou Reed’s Transformer, Catfish Haven’s record is at first listen a posturing copycat. Still, given time, and a few listens, the old fashioned, blues-influenced riffs reel the listener in (sorry for the pun) and hidden, psychedelic, stupendously catchy depths are revealed.

Perhaps borrowing a little too much from the past, with little real musical progression, what this Chicago trio do (paying tribute to the music they love), they do strikingly well.

To advertise here costs only £20

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7 Or hear the full chart with Jeff and Nick on Radio Reverb, 97.2fm every Tuesday 4-6pm/12-2am Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10

★ 1 Tenek – State Of Mind ★ 2 Jonny Loves House – Not Just In My Head 3 Portslade – Girls and Boys 4 Caramel Jack – Curtain 5 sMs – I'm Sorry Dave 6 Victoria Ferguson & Ben Ingall – Every Time 7 Mr Resonate – The Opposite Vibe 8 The Woo!worths – Konichiwa 9 sMs – Airport Dreaming 10 Django Spears – No Limit Cyber-goths Tenek and their Depeche Mode-alike ‘State of Mind’ hit the top spot this week, followed closely at 2 by the dancefloor funky house of club heroes Jonny Loves House, with ‘Not Just In My Head’. Classical musicians Portslade, eccentric poprockers Caramel Jack and weird electro oik sMs occupy 3, 4 and 5 respectively.

11 Caramel Jack We Could Build Skyscrapers 12 Guerrilla Audio Another Life 13 Leo Altarelli See It Now 14 The Vainglories Neisseria 15 Automatic Shoes Your Father 16 The Mighty Rivals Something In My Way 17 Death Cabaret Forlorn Hope 18 She Said 200 Years 19 BangBangBang!

This Way / That Way 20 Millsy Poop Song 21 My Fabric Changes 22 The SlyShakers Cha Ching 23 David Bolstridge Love is Only Sweet...

24 Loc E Chemical Romance 25 XamXam Bu Ngen Munt

26 Friday Night Hero Our Time 27 Astro Physics 24 Hour MC 28 My Device Uh! 29 Passenger Table for One 30 Eminemmylous The Way I Am 31 The Miserable Rich Over and Over (Hot Chip cover) 32 Carter Brown More To Be Scene 33 Ghostbirds Little Scars 34 Glitters From Billy Holiday 35 Without Warrant Stop The Machine 36 Digitalis No Control 37 Kovak Death in the Disco 38 Bastion Trust Me 39 Hold Fire Emma-Louise 40 Go Johnny Go Wash Out Night Out

Me Old China

Chinese buffet Call Marie Viviani now!

01273 818150 ext 102 If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

Eat as much as you can Lunch time: £5.99 Dinner time: £6.99 Also menu order and take away 46 West Street, Brighton BN1 2RA Tel: 01273-711518 latest 7 31

032_LS393_LMB

10/3/08

1:39 PM

Page 1

latest

01273 687171 formerly joogleberry

musicbar tuesday oct 7th

now booking

the space:

xmas

interviews with david

£5/£3 7.30pm arnold & nik kershaw

wednesday world music wednesdays with taxim: the kypreos band oct 8th

dinners & parties

the special k's

£6/£5 8pm

free 7.30pm

thursday oct 9th £4 7.30pm

friday oct 10th

catalyst club a speak-easy for the 21st Century free 7.30pm

laura vane

singer with the streets +seany clarke+gala orsborn

+ weddings, civil partnerships, birthdays. For the funkiest parties call us and book the venue for FREE• •subject to conditions

MyFirstDisco! £2.50 event 2.30 – 4.30pm

small wanda's biff!Freebang! pow!

4.30pm

£5 7.30pm

annie keating

saturday oct 11th

three bonzos & a piano musical mayhem the beachdown festival reunion

+ ian bennet free

8pm

£12.50 or £20 with best of the fest 10pm - 2.30am dinner 6.30pm

sunday oct 12th

roast ‘n’ jazz me & my shadow a tribute to Frank Sinatra & Dean Martin £7

£10 inc lunch 12.30pm – 3.30pm 7pm

monday oct 13th £10 7pm

gay tango workshop

free 7.30pm

tango lessons for all!

thelatest.co.uk/musicbar 14 - 17 manchester street brighton

check our website for full programme

033_LS393_music_listings

10/1/08

4:15 PM

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MUSIC

For complete listings go to thelatest.co.uk/7

MUSIC& CLUBLISTINGS 7 - 13 Oct

Tuesday 7

Friday 10

Live Music Gabriella Cilmi Aussie singer-songwriter making waves over here. Komedia, 7:30pm, £12.50 Juana Molina Folktronica maverick with Argentinian roots. Komedia, 7:30pm, £12 Seasick Steve Grizzled bluesman who has played with artists as varied as John Lee Hooker, Lightnin' Hopkins and Modest Mouse.

Brighton Dome, 8pm, £17.50 Sebastian Tellier Daft Punk collaborator and electro-pop Eurovision star. Concorde 2, 8pm, £14.50/12.50 Sofa Sessions Open mic. West Hill (Formerly Belle Vue), 8:30pm, free

Live Music Benn Clatworthy Quartet Brighton Jazz Club event. Komedia, 8pm, £12/10 Delirious? Living Room Show The nineties God-rockers are back! Concorde 2, 7:30pm, £13 Feedback XIV: Doll and the Kicks + Friday Night Hero + Left Hand Red Local indie rockers. Brighton Coalition, 7pm, £5/4 Laura Vane + Seany Clarke + Gala Osborn Soul singer-songwriter supported by acoustic solo artists. Latest Music Bar, 7:30pm, £5 Neil Innes and Fatso The veteran comedy musician draws on The Rutles, Python and even The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band! Duke of York’s Picturehouse, 11pm, £16/14 Stephen Stills Bona-fide legend and member of Buffalo Springfield and Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £30

Bars and clubs Audio Snide. Tight-trousered indie disco action.

10pm- 2am, £3/2 Brighton Coalition Latin Fever. Latin music to get your juices flowing. 10pm–2am, free Po Na Na Tap. Go urban with bassline, hip hop and R'n'B. 11pm–4am, £5/4 Tru Bandwagon. Student night with club anthems, old school R&B and classic house plus loan bending promos! 10pm–2:30am, £1–£3 Water Margin International Student Party.

Drinks promos all night! 10pm–5am, £5/3

Wednesday 8 Live Music Acoustic Live Acoustic. Juggler, 9pm, free Breakthrough with Rough Trade: Rob The Rich New wave popsters who have supported Battles. Brighton Coalition, 7:30pm, free Chris Simmons + Jia + Orchid Talented acoustic singer-songwriter who's recently supported Jackson Browne. Komedia, 8:30pm, £6 Club NME: Collapsing Cities Nicely atmospheric Lloyd Cole-alike London/Auckland outfit. Brighton Coalition, 10:30pm, free Delays Epic indie/dance crossover kings with some massive choruses. Digital, 7:30pm, £11 Eric Taylor Veteran Americana singersongwriter with a following including Steve Earle, Lyle Lovett and Nanci Griffith. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £10 The Music Cafe The best singer-songwriters in town. Latest Music Bar, 7:30pm, free Sia Kooky Aussie electro singer-songwriter.

Concorde 2, 7:30pm, £14 World Music Wednesday World music acts TBC. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £6/5 Bars and clubs Arc Life is Easy. A Mid-week interlude of indie classic new and old, plus floorfillers a-plenty.

10pm, free–£1 Audio Supercharged. Brazillian D’n’B legend, Marky is rocking the decks at this mid-week session. 11pm–2:30am, £5/3 Brighton Coalition Club NME. A beerfest for All Stars wearing rock/indie fans with live NME bands and Brighton DJs. 10:30pm–3:30am, free Volks Brighton Sounds. A free mid-week session of old skool, reggae, D’n’B, jungle and garage. 10pm–3am, free

Thursday 9 Live Music Coalition Live Lounge Funk, jazz and acoustic performances. Brighton Coalition, 10:30pm, free They Came From The Stars I Saw Them Perhaps Flaming Lips’ disturbed British cousins.

Sporadically brilliant. Freebutt, 7:30pm, £6 Two Spot Gobi Local funky acoustic soul types.

Komedia, 8:30pm, £7/6 Bars and clubs Arc Pop Rocks. Indie, pop, rock and cheese for naughty boys and girls! 10:30pm–2am, £1–£3 Audio Mad for It. Indie, 10:30pm–3am, £3/1.50 Digital Shogun. Extending the weekend sabotage with Friction, Fabio, Noisia, Commix, Hatcha and Eksman. 11pm–4am, £10 Ocean Rooms Therapy. USBU official SOCFED night. 10:30pm–3am, £3/2 Tru School Disco - Freshers Party. A student mix set of mainstream and cheese and of course, ‘Uniform or Detention!’ 10pm–3am, £5

Bars and clubs Arc Some Kind of Wonderful. DnB and dub step at a sociable volume with purse pleasing drinks.

11pm–3am, £2 Audio Tayo Tracksuit Party. As the tin reads, Tracky B swagger to the upfront breakbeat and bass sound of Tayo! 11pm–4am, £tbc Brighton Coalition Sex on the Beach Meets Nice and Funky Launch Party. Dj Cameo of BBC 1xtra, Marcus Nasty, Kyla, King of bassline Pale Face and rinse Fm’s Super D. Hosted by cold stepz, & Mr Kaos. 10:30pm, £10 + Concorde 2 Super Dub Pressure. Feat. Digital Mystiks and Sticky, plus Slaughter Mob and more. 11:30pm–4:30am, £10/8 Digital Stone Love. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll with DJ/live bands. 11pm–3am, £6/5 Engine Rooms Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock alternative for eyeliner’d up boys and girls in PVC. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Esca LuvMeLuvUBack. Funk, Soul, Disco, Breaks and Classics. 9pm–2am, free Funky Buddha Lounge Thank Funk its Friday.

Start the weekend with Sean Quinn’s party tunes. Feel the magic. 10pm–3am, £7 Funky Fish The Funky Fish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £5/3.50 Honey Club Honey. Music struts out on the house catwalk! Its all about fun, fashion, flirtation and quality house boshed out by DJ Steve Westover & guests. 10pm–3am, £5–£11 Latest Music Bar The Boom Boom Saloon.

Rock ‘n’ Roll, Rhythm ‘n’ Blues, Country Funk, Soul and Swing! 10:30pm–2:30am, free Ocean Rooms She’s Good for Business.

Indie/Electro Alternative madness with uber special guests TBA plus BOGOF drinks! Is this love? 11pm–3:30am, £3 Om Bar and Club Go Bang. Balearic & disco tunes that will have everyone and all twisting and turning. 4:30pm- 3:30am, free Pavilion Tavern Kick Out The Jams.

Rock’n’Roll mayhem sploshed together with beer, indie anthems and punk. 10:30pm–3am, £4/3 Po Na Na Ice Box. Funky house night for a dressed up crowd. 10pm–3am, £5/4 Tru Club Generation. Three rooms with commercial dance, R’n’B and dollops of cheesey 70s and 80s hits. 10pm–3am, £10/8 Water Margin B-Side. Tech and filthy electro with Tiger Lily and Paul My Fingah. 2am, £5

Saturday 11 Live Music Beachdown Reunion Party: Line-up TBC A wrist-banded mini one-day festival revisiting this year’s Beachdown festival.Audio, 6pm, £tbc Beachdown Reunion Party: Line-up TBC A wrist-banded mini one-day festival revisiting Beachdown Festival.Latest Music Bar, 6pm, £tbc Beachdown Reunion Party: Line-up TBC A wrist-banded mini one-day festival revisiting this year’s Beachdown. Ohso Social, 6pm, £tbc The Curst Sons Excellent local bluegrass and hillbilly gang. The Brunswick, 8pm, £tbc The Datsuns Turn of the century Kiwi garage rock survivors. Concorde 2, 7pm, £10 Holy F*ck These brilliant Canadian dance madmen are seemingly making Brighton their second home with this third seaside gig this

➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory for details

year. Audio, 7pm, £8 The Grand Majestic Funk. Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free The Moody Blues Sixties veterans responsible for absolute classics including ‘Nights in White Satin’. Brighton Centre, 7pm, £32.50 Richie Havens Greenwich Village folk legend.

The Hawth, 8pm, £17.50 Stuart Flynn + Kit Ashton Singer-songwriters play the coffee shop! Moksha, 7.30pm, free The Smyths + Re-Order The Smiths and New Order tributes. Brighton Coalition, 7:15pm, £10 This Will Destroy You, Saturday

This Will Destroy You Decent slow-burning Texas post-rockers Freebutt, 8pm, £8.50 Three Bonzos and a Piano Former members of the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band bring the madness. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £12.50 We Got Jazz: Rockin’ and Rhythm 30s/40s swing band- party like it’s 1939! Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5 Zapatilla Secret night, so keep an eye out on Facebook... Om Bar and Club, 8pm, free Bars and clubs Arc Hold Up. Unpretentious indie night.

10:30pm–4am, £5 Audio Summer of Love Presents: Indian Summer. Extending the long forgotten summer sunshine with Black Rabbit and Justin Robertson. 10pm–4am, free Concorde 2 Zapback. Brighton’s monster old skool and jungle event is back with storming guests Micky Finn and Darren Jay plus JJ Frost and Kenny Ken. 11pm–5am, £7.50 Digital Wax:On. Voted best club night by Mixmag and DJ Magazine, Wax:On has the mark of quality. Bringing the much awaited return of Simian Mobile Disco to the south shores! 11pm, £12 Engine Rooms Punk Rock Karaoke. Sing your favourite rock and punk anthems with a live backing band, no bat’s head eating permitted.

11pm–3am, £5 Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Disco, funk, house and rare groove from Juice Fm’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10 Funky Fish The Funky Fish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £6/3.50 Hanbury Club Margot’s Rock Chic Party. Step out in black leather and biker boots, leopard print and back combed roots! To a filthy backdrop of perfect pop, sexy house, dirty disco and rock by request! 9pm–2am, £10/8 Komedia Da Doo Ron Ron is 10!. With a rare gem of a DJ appearance from Orange Juice’s ex-front man, Edwyn Collins! Plus the usual 60s girl pop, soul and funk mix! 11pm, £12 Latest Music Bar The Boom Boom Saloon. late night liquor lounge with Rock ‘n’ Roll, Rhythm ‘n’ Blues, Country Funk, Soul and Swing! 10:30pm– 2:30am, free Ocean Rooms The Fiesta. Music capers on a European scale with CircoLoco Legend Dan Ghenacia and resident Tom King! Followed by Blow the Elektro Afterparty. 10pm–8am, £tbc Pavilion Tavern Mod For It. Park up your Vespa for the Who, Kinks and more. 10pm–2am, £5/4 Volks Blackbox. Expect grimey techno and electronica dished out by Jerome Hill, Mustard

Gunn and Tony Montana. 11pm, £6/8 Water Margin It Came From the Sea.Arthouse/ dancefloor experience. Next wave indie, dance and hip-hop futurism with DJs Nikon and Kicking_K. 11pm–3am, £5/4 Logo. DJs spin house til dawn. 3am-–8am, £7/5

Sunday 12 Live Music Balkan Beat Box Hip-hop beats mixed with Mediterranean, Jewish, Gypsy and Arabic melodies. Komedia, 7:30pm, £10/8 Brighton Festival of World Sacred Music: London Bulgarian Choir Led by native Bulgarian singer Dessislava Stefanova, the choir won BBC Radio 3 Open Choir of the Year 2006.

St Bartholomews, 7:45pm, £10/8 Brighton Festival of World Sacred Music: Schools Multifaith Concert Primary pupils sing songs and chants from Buddhist, Jewish, Hindu and Gospel traditions. St Bartholomews, 4pm, £6/4 Brightona Rocks All-Dayer: Furyon + Dollar Sent + Steal Back Your Life + The Crave + Lithurgy + Sweet Zeros Brighton band showcase to coincide with the annual motorbike convention on Madeira Drive. Concorde 2, 1pm, £donations Chris Wood Traditional folk mixed with a more contemporary sound. Komedia, 7:30pm, £10 Jacques Brel Commemoration: Attila The Stockbroker The punk poet pays tribute to the French master. The Duke of Wellington, Shoreham, 8pm, £tbc Latin Jazz Trio Flamenco guitar, afrobeats and catchy basslines. Sidewinder, 8pm, free Led Zep Zeppelin tribute. Hove Town Hall, 6:30pm, £16/14 Les Valentine Local indie rockers return as a four piece. King and Queen, 8pm, £tbc Maps and Atlases + Pope Joan + Swing Mad, strangely great, folktronica/math-rock crossover from Chicago. Engine Rooms, 7pm, £7 Me and My Shadow A tribute to Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. Latest Music Bar, 7pm, £7 Roast ‘n’ Jazz: Lineup TBC Sunday lunch and some jazz. Nice. Latest Music Bar, 12:30pm, £10 inc full roast dinner Sodden Rum Irish music at its best. The Neptune, 8:30pm, free The Illegal Eagles Acclaimed Eagles tribute aptly from California. Worthing Assembly Hall, 7:30pm, £19.50/18 Bars and clubs Honey Club Sundelicious. Knockin’ siesta sundays into the past, Lee Garrett and Salerno play house and soulful beats. 10pm–3am, £2/1 The Open House We Change The Frequency.

Tipping up the box of predictable music, Stephen Jarvis boshes out all things diverse from Radiohead, Madlib, National Forest and Playgroup. 8pm, free

Monday 13 Live Music Andy Yorke + Ruarri Joseph + Creature Thom Yorke’s sibling, supported by acclaimed folk singer-songwriter. Prince Albert, 7:30pm, £7 The Bee’s Mouth Jazz Forum House band welcomes all comers and all performers get some free booze! Bee’s Mouth, 8:30pm, free Cajun Dance Party + Swanton Bombs Lush London moody indie/folk types. Concorde 2, 7:30pm, £9 John Illsley (Dire Straits) The former Dire Straits man’s new collaboration with Irish rocker Greg Pearle. The Greys, 8:30pm, £15 Open Mic Latest Music Bar, 7:30pm, free Bars and clubs Digital Magnetic Man LIVE. ‘Imagine Daft Punk on a budget with more sub bass than you could sink a ship with’, with Skream, Benga and Artwork. 10:30pm, £tba Funky Buddha Lounge Urban Lounge. DJs Outbreak, Rudeben and Dubl break out the best in Old skool garage, R’n’B, Hip Hop, Bashment and swing. 10:30pm–3am, £3/2 Honey Club Disco Babe. Disco and indie with drinks £1.50 all night. 10:30pm–2:30am, £3/1 Volks Strictly Reggae. Dancehall, bashment, roots and revival. 10pm, £4.50/3.50 Music by Nick Aldwinckle Clubs and Bars by Jaime Pettit latest 7 33

034_LS393 gay news/will

10/2/08

4:49 PM

Page 2

LATESTGAY

See more at thelatest.co.uk

Brighton’s only weekly gay guide

William Tells

NEWS

Will Harris despairs at those shorthand brush offs Outside my bedroom window the city is alive with noise. The rumble of exhausts, feet pounding the pavement, laughter from the street below. My phone sits on the desk beside me, silent, screen dark, the most immobile mobile the world has ever seen.

It’s 11.00am. Another minute passes and it’s 11.01am, or - to be more specific - exactly three days and one minute since Mr Write paused on his way out of my front door, and half turning spoke those fateful words: “I’ll text you.”

We all know where this one’s headed, don’t we? After all, the ‘waiting for the other person to call’ routine is a staple of singleton life, along with the ‘never needing anything bigger than a basket in the supermarket’ routine and the ‘going out with your funny, fat friend on Valentine’s Day and getting absolutely hammered and ending up wailing into her fat bosoms’ routine. To put it another way, it’s not something you’d generally choose to do, but because you’re single you don’t really have a choice.

“We weren’t teasing any more. And everything was fine. Because he was going to text me“

Magic property Lesbians, practising witches and estate agents are not unusual in Brighton. But what happens when the three all come together? Author and playwright Sandra Freeman has written a novel about two women who set up an estate agency with a little magic in their lives. The Wow Factor follows the pair as they get further entailed in the worlds of real estate and witchcraft.

Freeman lives in France but spent 30 years living in Brighton where she taught French and Theatre Studies at the University of Sussex and wrote, acted in and directed 20 plays. She is the author of four novels and of Putting Your Daughters on the Stage: British Lesbian Theatre from the 1960s to the Present. She visits Brighton regularly and was inspired to write The Wow Factor after reading a local news story last year about a couple of practising Wiccans ‘coming out’ with their beliefs. She dropped the idea for a novel she was already working on in favour of writing about witchcraft.

She said: “The idea of ‘coming out’ really appealed to me. I thought, that is so typical Brighton because there has always been this undercurrent of witchcraft going on in Brighton and around the Downs.”

Arming herself with a copy of The Wicca Handbook bought from a local magic bookshop, Freeman set to work finding out about magic. She sought advice on the real estate industry from her friend Jonathan MacFarlane. The result is a light-hearted and intriguing tale of mystique and spell-casting, with shades of Tales of the City.

The book's protagonist is Danielle Divito, who appeared in Freeman's previous novel Juniper Street, set in France. Danielle spends the novel trying to work out what makes the wow factor, whether in a property or in a romantic interest. She narrates: “Going to the pub with Amelia was an interesting experience. Jaws dropped, beer mugs suspended halfway to mouths.... ‘She's the wow factor,’ I thought.”

Two characters are based on real Brightonians and friends of Freeman - the late manager of a theatre company and his partner - although Freeman has imagined their dabblings in magic. The rest she made up.

While not a Wiccan, Freeman believes in the supernatural and claims to have ‘psychic feelings’ when she goes into a house, which make her very interested in property. She said: “I have always thought in another life I might have been an estate agent. I love looking at houses. I love thinking about matching houses to people.”

Freeman is now working on a novel about a 75-year-old woman living in France who decides to set up home in the mountains. The writer said: “It is about changing your life as you get older and tying to do something that is completely different, thinking, ‘what the hell.’”

The Wow Factor will be launched at Borders bookshop in Churchill Square, Brighton on Thursday 23 October at 7.30pm.

34 latest 7

I was introduced to Mr Write, a young journalist from one of the more conservative broadsheets, at a Nokia launch party up in the capital. I teased him about his paper’s political stance and – much to my delight – he teased back, setting the stage for a barrage of verbal jousting that would go on for days. Phone, text, email, chatrooms; no communications medium was spared in our drive to needle each other, no pun was left unpunned. And then, before I knew it, we weren’t teasing any more. And everything was fine. Because he was going to text me.

“I’ll text you.” How is it that three tiny, one-syllable words can wreak so much havoc on a normally well-balanced psyche? Perhaps it’s the fact that there are three of them (sort of like the lexical equivalent of hunting in packs), which allows them to gang up on you every time you risk a glance at your phone. Whatever it is, ‘waiting for the other person to call’ is in my experience second only to Chinese water torture in its ability to push people over the edge and into the chilly waters of insanity.

Over the days that followed, I threw myself into my work with renewed enthusiasm, met up with neglected friends for long overdue drinks, I even went jogging (once, very slowly, to the off-licence, for vodka). Anything to help me not to think about the fact that Mr Write was still very firmly incommunicado, and that I was consequently going to have to spend the rest of my life in some Victorian mansion, wandering wraithlike from room to empty room in a mouldering wedding dress.

It‘s all looking very bleak until, without warning, a symphony fills the air, and the room around my phone lights up more gloriously than any sunrise. I have one new message.

“Your Orange phonebill is now overdue.”

Of course, I think, as the room slides once more into darkness. It’s not the only thing.

Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 164 ACROSS: 1 Prediction 8 Fiction 9 Enter 10 Irritate 11 Erne 13 Marble 15 Gillie 17 Name 18 Magazine 21 Evade 22 Thin out 23 Tenderness DOWN: 2 Racer 3 Daintily 4 Canute 5 Idea 6 Natural 7 Irreverent 8 Fair-minded 12 Citation 14 Remnant 16 Rattle 19 Irons 20 Bean Solution to Quick 164 ACROSS: 1 Shipwright 8 Lampoon 9 Table 10 Bungalow 11 True 13 Rubble 15 Bustle 17 Tusk 18 Wisteria 21 Round 22 Strumae 23 Tomfoolery DOWN: 2 Human 3 Probable 4 Ransom 5 Gate 6 Tabaret 7 Degenerate 8 Laboratory 12 Cultural 14 Biscuit 16 Fiasco 19 Rimer 20 Edam © Crossword Shop

If you have a story for Latest Gay pages please email news@thelatest.co.uk

035_LS393_gay listings

10/2/08

5:44 PM

Page 1

GAY

For full listings & venues go to thelatest.co.uk

GAYLISTINGS 7 – 13 October Tuesday 7 Amsterdam Amsterdam Spice. Enjoy a curry, rice, poppadom and Cobra beer from £6.99 then a Bollywood movie! Bar open 11am–11pm, free.

Brighton Tavern City of Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus. Bar open 12pm, free.

Ghetto Twisted Karaoke. Your golden opportunity to get vocal with over 3,000 tracks to choose from. 9pm, free.

Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday! Friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free.

Queen’s Arms Karaoke with Betty Swollocks.

9pm, free.

R-Bar LGBT Brighton Freshers’ Pub Crawl. The LGBT crowd sample the best of Gay Brighton with murderous drink promos! 12pm–2am, free.

Revenge Payday. Get banged up with the return of the official student LGBT night, cops’n’ robbers stylee! DJ Jonesy dolls out dance anthems, funky house and filthy pop.

10:30pm–3am, £3/2 NUS. The Aquarium Theatre Bar Josh Mill’s Music Night. With Uncle Ben’s quiz night from 9pm.

Bar open 12pm, free.

Wednesday 8 Ghetto Miss-Shapes. A cool mix of indie and pop for a crowd of cool gay kidz. 9pm, free.

Legends Relax – It’s Wednesday! Bar open 11pm–5am, free.

Prince Regent Swimming Pool Out To Swim South. 8:30pm, £4 per session, £20 annual pass.

R-Bar Cocktail Club. Enjoy the champagne lifestyle on lemonade money! 12pm–2am, free.

Revenge Pop! SEXY. Expect live on stage entertainment and chart pop and R’n’B. 10:30pm–3am, £3/2 NUS. Star Inn Charity Jukebox. Bar open 12pm–11pm.

The Basement Play. with DJ Alex Baker spinning all things house. 11pm–4am, free.

Thursday 9 Charles Street Club Religion. Two floors of funky house. Hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with Tony B and Mikalis. 10pm, £4/3.

Ghetto Rack ‘Em Up. Blues, rock and country.

9pm, free.

Celebration @ Legends

Queen’s Arms Lucky Dip Karaoke. Hosted by Betty Swollocks. Bar open 12pm–11:30pm, free.

R-Bar I Can’t Wait for the Weekend to Begin!

Dulcie Danger sets the mood with funked up, soulful and uplifiting house from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free.

Revenge GirlsOnTop. Fabulously trashy weekly lesbian night with ‘deck heroine’ LadyBex and DJ Smiffy. 10:30pm–4am, free b4 11:30 with passes, £4/5 after.

The Basement Eddie K’s Jukebox. 11pm–4am.

Friday 10 Amsterdam The Jazz Lounge with Wesley Sebastian. Swing and Jazz. 9pm, free.

Ghetto Popstarz. Indie anthems, alternative classics and current underground hits. 9pm, £tbc.

Legends Pre-Celebration. Pure Pop Sounds.

7pm, free.

Queen’s Arms Andy B’s Camp Attack. Cabaret and games. Bar open 12pm–1am, free.

R-Bar The Girls on Top Bar. Kick start a messy weekend with the girls as DJ Smiffy hauls her best in trash, pop and party tunes from Girls on Top to R-Bar. 12pm–7am, free.

Revenge James Sutton LIVE at Revenge. AKA Hollyoaks gay candy John-Paul hooks up with top pop tunes from Stewart T. Plus funky vocal house with DJ Hollie and guests upstairs.

10:30pm, free b4 11/£5 b4 12/£7 after.

Star Inn Return of the Friday Bears Inc. With guest DJs playing uplifting funky house and pop remixes. 8pm–1am, free.

The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket.

Double the DJ power with Alex Baker playing girly pop and handbag tracks all night long.

11pm–4am, free for first 150 b4 12/£4 after.

Saturday 11 Amsterdam Sun Downers. Enjoy the best beach house music in Brighton. 8pm–2am.

Charles Street Club Mardi Gras. Get a slice of Rio with a blend of Gogo Boys, Feathered Girls, Golden Handbag Winner Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £3 b4 11/£5 after.

Ghetto Wigout. Pop party. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. 9pm, £tbc.

Legends Pre-Ignition. 7pm, free.

Queen’s Arms Karaoke Party with Kamp Kevin.

Vocalists, comedians and drag (3:30–5:30pm).

Then party with Kamp Kevin til midnite! Bar open 12pm–12:30am, free.

R-Bar Kinky Baby. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous with new boy on the block, Jozzie O. 9pm–7am, free.

Revenge Kinky Dangerous. Gay Brighton’s Kings of the Saturday night! 4 top DJs, 2 floors, and 6.5 hours of fun. 10:30pm–5am, £7/3.

Star Inn Bear Essentials. DJ Charlie. Bar open 12pm-1am, free.

The Aquarium Theatre Bar Cabaret Night.

9pm.

The Basement Ignition. with the dance sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4:am, free for first 100 b4 12/£5 after.

➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See www.thelatest.co.uk

Kandi Kane @ Legends Sunday 12 The PV at The Jury’s Out Saturday Madness.

The best in Brighton duets from 4:30pm, then from 8:30 pm PV’s house DJs takes to the decks! Bar open 12pm, free.

Sunday 12 Amsterdam Sunday Lunch. Traditional roasts (12–5:30pm) and relaxing vibes with a cabaret twist. Hosted by Connie Conway from 8pm, free.

Ghetto Eurotrash. Crazy Pop Cabaret! 9pm.

Legends Sunday Cabaret with Kandi Kane.

3:15pm, free.

Po Na Na Cash Queen. large helpings of sexy, soulful, funky house with DJs Mick Fuller and Freddie Thomas. 10:30pm, £6/5/4.

The Basement Embrace. Dripping in charity tracks provided by DJ Nick Shepherdson from GA-Y! 11pm–4am, free.

Monday 13 Amsterdam The Monday Musical. Gimme gimme gimme a musical, some fresh popcorn and a drink from the bar! Bar open 11am, free.

Charles Street Club Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin the best party retro tracks. Drinks promos. 10pm–2am, £1.50.

Ghetto (formerly Candy Bar) Shibby Shabblers. DJs Pookie and Crackwhore. £1.50 pints and vodka mix. 9pm–2am, £3/2.

Legends Dave Lynn and Friends. A hysterical night of cabaret, 9:30pm. Bar open 11pm–5am.

Queen’s Arms Cherry Poppins Karaoke Show. plus drinks promos, 9pm.

Bar open 12pm, free.

The Basement Back to the 80s and 90s. DJ Steve Lush with his classic floorfillers.

11pm–4am, free.

latest 7 35

036_LS393_TVIntro

10/2/08

6:10 PM

Page 2

latestTV

Dani on TV

She says it how she sees it

Films on TV

TUESDAY 7

Coyote Ugly ★★✩✩✩ (2000, ITV2, 8pm. Dir David McNally) The tale of a girl coming to the big city... and working in a slightly saucy and rowdy bar – cue much dancing on the bar-top and grinding to the music.

Speaking of which, our heroine (Piper Perabo) has a musical gift and a crippling shyness that only a beautiful Aussie boy can help her overcome.

What’s that approaching? And is he beautiful? Well we’ll be blowed, he is.

WEDNESDAY 8 An Ideal Husband ★★★★✩ (1999, Film4, 7.05pm. Dir Oliver Parker) Starring Rupert Everett as the singleton every eligible spinster is angling for, he has so far proven elusive. Then along comes his best pal Jeremy Northam’s sister, played by Minnie Driver, tickling his fancy. With a further cast of Cate Blanchett and Julianne Moore and the wonderful wit of Wilde it’s a delightful journey through an unconventional courtship.

Merlin

THURSDAY 9

Saturdays 6pm, BBC 1

A Perfect World ★★✩✩✩

This is meant to be the story of Merlin “The greatest wizard the world has seen” as a young boy, bouncing around Camelot, making friends and enemies.

I am not convinced that this is worth cancelling plans over, I’m not even sure it is worth turning your TV on for. I personally think this is very disappointing for anyone over the age of five.

Now I am not just saying this because I don’t like this kind of thing (I am quite partial to an episode of Doctor Who or Torchwood), I have evidence.

The evidence being that I saw a few clips and a little ‘making of’ documentary on Blue Peter a while ago (don’t ask why I was watching Blue Peter) but that chance encounter with a childhood programme gave me some evidence that Merlin is going to be a little less than magic on our TV screens.

And then the first episode aired and no one said anything about it. You normally catch a conversation or too regarding the TV offering while at the kettle at work but nothing. Either everyone in the world missed it or it was not worth talking about.

If you are after a comparison the only thing I personally find similar is that Robin Hood thing with Keith Allen. It is something that has all the potential to be really good but somehow loses it.

I am however quite pleased that there is at least one programme showing in the evening on a main channel that will satisfy the kids for a short while Had this been a show that was on at 9, had attractive (and old enough) stars for everyone to fancy and a few raunchy love stories it could be a success, but as it stands, I would much rather read the story for myself and invent the characters in my head – they would certainly be a lot more interesting!

I am sure it is not entirely bad. There must be something good about it. I have had a think and I have come up with the following:It is less offensive than most other things on our TV – I think “lighthearted” is the technical term.If your kids are going to watch anything It would be a lot better for their imaginations if they caught an episode of this rather than some gritty drama. There is not enough magic on TV (my own personal view – I understand no one agrees).

That’s as far as I got I’m afraid, perhaps it isn’t all bad after all – it could be worse – it could have Joe Pasquale in it!

36 latest 7

(1993, Five, 10pm. (Dir Clint Eastwood) A kidnapped boy strikes up a friendship with his ruthless fugitive captor – Kevin Costner – whilst the pair try and evade the law, headed up

by Clint Eastwood and Laura Dern.

Not a bad concept, but at this point in his career no one believes Costner could haggle over the price of milk, let alone be a wanted bad guy.

FRIDAY 10 Smokey And The Bandit

★★★✩✩ (1977, ITV3, 10pm. (Dir Hal Needham) Burt Reynolds tears up the trail from Texas to Georgia, ably assisted by his

7 – 13 Oct

Movies on the box this week best pal Snowman and birdie on the run Sally Fields. They’re illegally transporting beer y’see and the travelling bridal bouquet was supposed to be marrying the son of the Texas Sheriff. Yikes! Pursuit ensues.

Peeping Tom ★★★★✩ (1960, ITV1, 1.45am. Dir Michael Powell) Classic horror tale of a lonely cinematographer (Carl Boehm) who becomes fascinated with the expressions of fear on women’s faces.

Developed after his own childhood experiences, this obession leads him to serial murder of a horrifying kind.

SATURDAY 11 Straw Dogs ★★★★✩ (1971, Channel 4, 11.05pm.

Dir Sam Peckinpah) Dustin Hoffman and Susan George retreat to the English countryside to get away from all the violence of the city. What do they know of the countryside? Farming, brutal nature, bullying gangs of locals that attack your family. At least in this film. Watch the worm turn in Dustin Hoffman.

Hoodwinked ★★★★★ (2005, Sky Movies 1, 3.20pm. Dir Cory Edwards and Todd Edwards) Taking the well-known fairytale of Little Red Riding Hood and turning it into a tale of detectives, industrial espionage and extreme sports. Featuring the vocal talents of Anne Hathaway, Glenn Close and Jim Belushi.

SUNDAY 12 Ghost ★★★✩✩ (1990, Five, 9pm. Dir Jerry Zucker) Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore are in love. Ahh. Then Patrick is knifed down in the street in an apparently random street attack. Boo! Fortunately he starts to put the pieces of the events that led to his death together, and with the help of psychic Whoopi Goldberg – Oscar – the trio set about righting wrongs.

MONDAY 13 Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid

Smokey And The Bandit, Friday 10pm

★★★★✩ (1973, TCM, 9pm. Dir Sam Peckinpah) With a cracking soundtrack from Bob Dylan, plus an acting role from the modern day poet as well, this is the story of old friendships gone bad. Past comrade in arms Pat Garrett (James Coburn) is hired to bring down pal Billy the Kid (Kris Kristofferson). Sad, but hailed as one of the best Westerns ever made.

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30/9/08

3:39 PM

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tuesday 7 Sunshine BBC1, 9pm From the pen that brought us The Royle Family and starring the ever-so-selective-when-it-comesto-projects Steve Coogan, Sunshine could be a smash.

Protagonist Bob ‘Bing’ Crosby has an optimism that makes him a joy to be around. He’s lovely. Except his occasional flutters are making a bit of trouble for him.

Dawn Porter: Mail Order Bride Channel 4, 10pm Relationships, eh? They can be a funny business, and the great thing is that everyone does them in a different way. Dawn dons her travelling outfit and takes a global perspective, heading off to the Ukraine to investigate the booming mail order bride business. Time to buy a hat?

True Stories: Dave Gorman in America, Unchained More4, 10pm BAFTA award-winning writer and broadcaster Dave Gorman plans to travel around America, by car, without spending a single red cent in any corporate chains. He reckons it should take three to four weeks. As if. His odyssey takes in 18 states and many, many small shops.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 11.00 Open House 11.30 Cash in the Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 LazyTown 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.03 Bernard 4.05 Raven 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Clifford’s Puppy Days 9.15 Tweenies Songtime 9.20 Balamory 9.40 Little Red Tractor 9.50 Pingu 10.00 In the Night Garden 10.30 Big Barn Farm 10.45 Get Squiggling 11.00 KS1 Science Clips 11.10 Primary History 11.30 The Chronicles of Narnia 11.45 Primary Geography 12.00pm Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out of the Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Living in the Sun 2.15 Animal 24:7 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape to the Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts a general knowledge quiz. His brother’s Tim Vine the comedian. Just saying.

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – it Takes Two Claudia is joined by the week’s saved couple and takes a sideways look at Saturday’s show with the comedy panel.

7.00 Hairy Bikers Come Home The hairy bikers travel to an area that has been under-represented on cookery shows: the North of England.

Lancashire hot pot here they come.

8.00 Twiggy’s Frock Swap Sixties icon Twiggy heads up this fashion series which sees 100 women donating their clothes to a huge clothes swapping extravaganza.

Elbows at the ready? On your marks, get set...

9.00 British Style Genius This major new landmark series takes a fascinating look at what makes British fashion and style so distinctive and so influential.

10.00 Later Live...with Jools Holland Guests lined-up include Coldplay, Glen Campbell and singersongwriter John Mellencamp.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Golf: The Links Championship Highlights of the Links Championship, one of the richest golf tournaments in Europe.

12.20am Joins BBC News 4.00 Further Education: Skills for Life in Context

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News and Weather 11.20 Meridian News and Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me 8.30 Just Shoot Me 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Gay to Z 10.00 Chill Out 10.30 Seven Ages of Britain 11.25 Day I Got the Sack 12.00pm News at Noon 12.30 Property Ladder 1.30 Checking into History: Claridge’s 1.50 FILM: In Old California (1942) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Colin and Justin’s – How Not to Decorate 12.30pm Five News 12.45 Grey’s Anatomy 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home and Away 2.50 County Secrets 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: This Matter Of Marriage (1998) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 10.00 Big League Weekend 11.30 Wild Spirits 12.00pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Big League Weekend 2.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.30 Big League Weekend 5.00 Revista De La Liga 6.00 LIVE Darts: World Grand Prix 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00am Hyundai A League 12.30 Football Asia 1.00 Revista De La Liga 2.00 Hyundai A League 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 World Motor Sport 5.30 Golf: Challenge Series

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Andy’s attempts to stop Jo from leaving end disastrously.

Don’t say he thumps her. Again.

8.00 Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Nurses Special A special edition of the big-money quiz with members of the nursing profession tackling questions posed by host Chris Tarrant in an effort to scoop the million-pound jackpot.

9.00 Cops with Cameras Britain’s police record their daily battle on the front line of crime. Not about coppers moonlighting as paparazzi, chasing Madonna through the backstreets of Chelsea, just to see if she’ll crack, like her ex Sean Penn did all those years ago. Definitely not that.

10.00 News at Ten; Weather 10.35 Comedy Classics: Doctor in the House The series about classic sitcoms looks at Doctor in the House.

There is a chance to see the episode entitled ‘Face the Music’.

11.35 Sally Morgan: Star Psychic Psychic Sally goes to Coventry.

Celebs include The Cheeky Girls and Richard Bacon. Says it all really.

12.30am Guinness Premiership Rugby 1.25 Nightwatch with Steve Scott 2.20 Loose Women 3.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Michaela heads off to HCC to enrol on a journalism course, taking Mike with her as her tour guide. She’d just love a bit of instruction from him.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot: Conservative 8.00 The Sex Education Show The Long Ashton football team produce sperm samples to find out if they are firing blanks and Anna meets the teenage girl who has had 60 sexual partners. Parents – concern face on.

9.00 Jamie’s Ministry of Food Jamie Oliver tries to start a food revolution to get the people of Rotherham cooking fresh food.

Normally obviously they like to post it through letter boxes and the like.

10.00 Dawn Porter: Mail Order Bride See highlights.

11.05 The Family In this episode, Simon and Jane go out for the evening and leave Emily in charge.

When Tom won’t go to bed on time, a fight breaks out between brother and sister, the consequences of which will stretch the family to the limit.

12.10am Reaper 1.10 Comedy Lab: Pappy’s Fun Club 1.40 New Love 2.00 FILM: The Wood (1999) 3.55 3 Minute Wonder: Shorelines 4.00 Rat-a-Tat-Tat (x22) 5.50 Making it (x2)

6.00 Home and Away Leah is jealous of Kirsty’s friendship with Miles. But surely that means she’s being unfaithful to Dan’s memory?

Yada, yada, yada.

6.30 Animal Rescue Squad Wildlife series with Michaela Strachan and Matt Baker.

7.00 Five News 7.30 Highland Emergency An RAF search and rescue crew saves five teenagers stuck on an ice-covered gully. All the suspense has gone now.

8.00 Curse of the Titanic: Revealed Documentary examining the sinking of both the Titanic and its sister ship, the Britannic, within four years of each other.

9.00 CSI: Miami A nanny is found stabbed to death in her wealthy employer’s home and a jealous teenage boy emerges as a key suspect.

10.00 CSI: NY Stella’s life is put in danger when her flat catches fire.

11.00 Law and Order: SVU Foster parents and a social worker face charges when a child appears to have died during an exorcism.

12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Disorderly Conduct 2.00 NASCAR: The Sprint Cup 2.50 NHL Preview Show 3.35 USPGA Golf 4.25 Seniors Golf 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home and Away

Sky Sports 2

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Tensions run high between Dawn and Jay at Jase’s funeral, and Garry leaves Dawn with a decision to make. Poison apple or woodcutter? These are surely the traditional decisions of the stepmother.

7.57 BBC New; Regional News 8.00 Big Cat Live The third in a week-long series of live broadcasts from Kenya’s world famous Masai Mara game reserve.

9.00 Sunshine See highlights.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Alesha: Look But Don’t Touch Documentary in which singer Alesha Dixon, concerned about the increasing pressure on women to conform to an ideal body type, investigates the practice of airbrushing and retouching that has become a staple of magazine photos.

Along with badly placed staples.

11.35 Film 2008 with Jonathan Ross The latest film news and reviews with Jonathan Ross.

12.05am FILM: Dear Frankie (2004) 1.45 Weatherview 1.50 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.20 Silent Witness 3.15 Beautiful People 3.45 What to Eat Now 4.15 Trawlermen 4.45 Joins BBC News

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 XAdventures 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Speedway 10.00 Darts: World Grand Prix 3.00pm NFL 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 Football Asia 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Poker Million 12.00am NFL – Total Access 1.00 Sports Unlimited 2.00 Golf 3.00 British Carp Angling Championships

Sky Sports 3 6.30am British Junior Carp Championship 7.30 Showjumping 8.30 World Motor Sport 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Showjumping 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 Speedway 4.00 British Junior Carp Championship 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Golf: Challenge Tour 7.30 Ginetta Championship 8.00 NFL 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Golf 12.00am Pool: World Pool Masters 1.00 Women’s Pool

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

1.00pm Project Catwalk 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 American Gladiators 6.00 Malcolm in the Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Stargate Atlantis 9.00 UK Border Force 10.00 Prison Break 11.00 Road Wars (x3) 1.50am Uncut! Sex on the Job

7.00pm Freaky Eaters 8.00 Dog Borstal 9.00 Jack: A Soldier’s Story 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Coming of Age 11.00 Family Guy 11.20 Jack: A Soldier’s Story 12.20am Dog Borstal 1.20 Coming of Age 1.50 Don’t Tell the Bride 2.50 Freaky Eaters 3.45 The World’s Strictest Parents 4.45 Spendaholics

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Railway Walks 8.00 Super Rich: The Greed Game 9.00 That Mitchell and Webb Look 9.30 Flight of the Conchords 10.00 The Book Quiz 10.30 Fanny Hill 11.30 The Age of Excess: When Britain Went too Far 12.30am Railway Walks 1.00 The Book Quiz 1.30 Fanny Hill

12.00pm Coronation Street (x2) 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 Ricki Lake 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 Montel Williams 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 FILM: Coyote Ugly (2000) 10.00 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show 10.30 FILM: The Grudge (2004) 12.20am BT Digital Music Awards

2.55pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.00 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.40 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie in the Sky 7.50 PD James: Devices and Desires 9.00 Ruth Rendell Mysteries 10.00 Cold Blood 11.30 PD James: Devices and Desires (x2) 1.30 Dempsey and Makepeace 2.20 Heartbeat

10.55am The OC 11.50 Gilmore Girls 12.45pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 One Tree Hill 2.35 The OC 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Smallville 10.00 Bring Back Star Wars 11.35 Fonejacker 12.10am Skins (x2)

3.00pm Hill Street Blues 4.00 A Place in the Sun (x2) 5.05 Grand Designs 6.05 Deal or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 10.00 Dave Gorman in America Unchained. See highlights. 11.40 Baby Bible Bashers 12.45am Born Survivor: Bear Grylls

2.00pm Close to Home 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Australia’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will and Grace (x2) 7.55 The Fix 8.00 America’s Next Top Model 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Ghost Hunters International 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Grey’s Anatomy

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.00pm Keeping Up Appearances 5.40 Waiting for God 6.20 Last of the Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools and Horses 9.40 The Green Green Grass 10.20 Only Fools and Horses 11.00 The Royle Family 11.40 Little Britain 12.20am The Green Green Grass

2.00pm Scrubs (x2) 3.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Two and a Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park 9.30 Scrubs 10.00 Sex and the City (x2) 11.00 Coupling 11.40 Scrubs 12.10am Big Day 12.40 Becker (x2)

2.00pm Crime Scene USA 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How do They do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch ( x2) 9.00 Deadliest Catch 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Crime Scene Australia

12.05pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Late For Dinner (1991) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Angel 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Medium (x2) 10.00 Eli Stone (x2) 12.00am FILM: Emmanuelle In Space: A World Of Desire (1994) 2.00 Medium 3.00 Angel

12.50pm Hondo (1953) 2.20 The Great McGinty (1940) 3.45 Sorry, Wrong Number (1948) 5.20 Pimpernel Smith (1941) 7.20 Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969) 9.00 Hondo (1953) 10.30 Cahill, United States Marshal (1973) 12.15am The Killers (1964) 2.00 Safety Last (1923)

12.45pm An Inconvenient Truth (2006) 2.25 35mm 2.55 Best (1999) 4.55 Fire (1996) 6.55 Them (2005) 8.20 Whatever Happened To Harold Smith? (1999) 10.00 Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead (1995) 12.00am Warrior King (2005) 1.55 A Time To Leave (2005)

1.00pm Sailor Beware!

(1956) 2.40 Heaven Can Wait (1943) 4.55 The Woodlanders (1997) 6.50 That Thing You Do! (1996) 9.00 Bedazzled (2000) Elizabeth Hurley dons the frock of the devil and tries to tempt Brendan Frasier out of his soul.

10.50 Once Upon A Time In America (1984)

9.15am The Private Lives Of Elizabeth And Essex (1939) 11.10 The Shop Around The Corner (1940) 1.00pm Betrayed (1954) 3.00 Three Little Words (1950) 4.55 Logan’s Run (1976) 7.05 Two Weeks In Another Town (1962) 9.00 Plenty (1985) 11.15 The Hunger (1983) 1.00am The Appointment (1969)

Classics

Indie

038_LS393_TV weds

10/2/08

6:46 PM

Page 1

wednesday 8 BBC1 Silent Witness, 9pm The British pathologist series continues, keeping the tension and the acting calibre high. Harry becomes mentor to young medical student Holly, whose charm brings her closer to the case of a woman without a face.

Quite literally. She was found by the side of the road with a full frontal scalping. Curiouser.

Heroes BBC2, 9pm It’s all about discovery this week as Angela discovers more about her son Peter, Claire finds out something new and unexpected about her abilities and Sylar declares war on the Company and find more than he bargained for on Level 5. A little learning may be a dangerous thing but a whole load helps the plot along.

Celebrity Juice ITV2, 10pm Just what we need – another irreverent topical panel show.

Actually, they’re all rather good so bring ‘em on, we say. This one is hosted by former Big Brother stalker Keith Lemon with team captains Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton. Guests today are comedian Rufus Hound – he’s fab! – and Matt Edmondson.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 11.00 Open House 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 LazyTown 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.03 Bernard 4.05 Get 100 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Clifford’s Puppy Days 9.15 Tweenies Songtime 9.20 Balamory 9.40 Little Red Tractor 9.50 Pingu 10.00 In The Night Garden 10.30 Big Barn Farm 10.45 Get Squiggling 11.00 What Are You Like? 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Animal Park 2.15 Animal 24:7 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me 8.30 Just Shoot Me 8.55 Frasier 9.30 Gay To Z 10.00 Big Squeeze 10.30 Extremes 11.25 Day I Got The Sack 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Property Ladder 1.30 FILM: War Of The Wildcats (1943) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Colin And Justin’s How Not To Decorate 12.30pm Five News 12.45 Grey’s Anatomy 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 County Secrets 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Cool Money (2005) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football Asia 9.30 Hyundai A League 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Poker Million 1.00pm Hyundai A League 1.30 Revista De La Liga 2.30 World Pool Masters 3.30 Football Asia 4.00 Revista De La Liga 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 LIVE Darts: World Grand Prix 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 Total Rugby 12.00am Football 1.30 Poker Million 3.30 Trans World Sport 4.30 Total Rugby 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out Surprising real-life stories from familiar places, with presenter Kaddy Lee-Preston. Looking at the folks who take time out to mentor other people’s kids.

8.00 Big Cat Live This is the land of the big cats and, right now, also home to thousands of wildebeest on their annual migration.

9.00 Silent Witness See highlights.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Gethin Jones brings us the Thunderball, Dream Number and Lotto draws live from Lottery HQ. 10.45 Medium Drama series about a suburban housewife who can see the dead and read the minds of others.

Devalos tries to reclaim the DA’s office but Allison’s loyalty to him is tested when she has visions of his closest political supporter involved in a conspiracy involving cannibalism.

11.30 The Tudors May 1536. Anne Boleyn is to be beheaded.

12.20am Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Losing It: Griff Rhys Jones On Anger 1.25 Timewatch Stonehenge 2.20 Tess Of The D’Urbervilles 3.20 Antiques Roadshow 4.20 DIY SOS 4.50 Joins BBC News

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts a general knowledge quiz.

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Judge Craig Revel Horwood takes a peak into the Training Rooms to find out how our couples are shaping up.

7.00 Who Do You Think You Are? Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen investigates a family legend claiming his ancestors were wealthy squires whose lands were nefariously stolen.

8.00 The Restaurant Raymond instructs the couples to start a takeaway service. One couple’s quest for quality has them offering carry-outs to the pretty young things at Henley Regatta. For others, it turns out to be a surprise hit - until Raymond asks some searching questions. Where’d the cat go?

9.00 Heroes See highlights.

9.45 Heroes Unmasked An exclusive peek at what goes on behind the scenes of the awardwinning series.

10.00 Mock The Week Comedy show combining elements of panel game, stand-up and improvisation.

Guests are Michael McIntyre and Jan Ravens.

10.30 Newsnight 11.50 Charley Boorman: Ireland To Sydney By Any Means Charley is now in far flung Vietnam.

12.50am Joins BBC News 4.00 Race

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Andy claims he only ever hurt Jo in self defence. Cos she’s such a big and overbearing figure is Jo. Hmm. 7.30 Coronation Street Jason returns to face a furious Becky. Is there any other kind?

8.00 The Bill Uniform and CID work together to raid a crack den where Leon and Rachel are shocked to discover a frightened young girl, Tilly, in hiding.

9.00 Greatest Cities Of The World With Griff Rhys Jones In the first of a new series, Griff Rhys Jones travels to New York to experience the huge diversity of its culture and people.

10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 England Expects Football pundit and former England manager Graham Taylor explores the nature of one of the toughest jobs in world football and the reasons behind the perennial underachievement of the England national team.

11.35 Numb3rs Detective drama about a maths genius recruited by the FBI to solve complex criminal cases.

12.35am Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Crime 1.25 Raines 2.15 Loose Women 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Amy tells Michaela that she and Sarah are off shopping that afternoon and Michaela, seeing an opportunity to get Mike alone, asks her if she can borrow Amy’s keys to study at the Barnes’s flat. Psycho teen that she is.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot: Liberal Democrat 8.00 Supernanny Jo Frost comes to the aid of single mother-of-two Clare Dakin, who is struggling to cope with her unruly kids.

9.00 The Family Jane and Simon clash over their teenage children’s behaviour. Will the smile return to their faces in time for a romantic meal for two with Jane? If it weren’t for those pesky kids...

10.00 Desperate Housewives Bree and Katherine go shooting.

11.05 Jamie’s Ministry Of Food Jamie Oliver tries to start a food revolution to get the people of Rotherham cooking fresh food.

12.05am 4 Music: Levi’s Ones To Watch: Iglu And Hartly 12.20 Levi’s Ones To Watch: The Bombay Bicycle Club 12.35 The JD Set Presents: Cherry Ghost 12.55 FILM: Bombon, El Perro (2004) 2.35 Home Road Movies 2.50 The Great Russian Art Boom 4.20 Countdown 5.05 The Genius Of Charles Darwin

6.00 Home And Away Aden looks on as Larry’s health deteriorates.

6.30 Animal Rescue Squad Wildlife series with Michaela Strachan and Matt Baker.

7.00 Five News 7.30 It Pays To Watch Martin Lewis shows how to snap up a fantastic last-minute winter holiday at bargain prices. Wouldn’t it be nice?

8.00 Axe Men Series following the work of North American lumberjacks.

9.00 Paul Merton In India Beginning in Delhi, Paul enjoys a course in etiquette before taking a ride on a stationary plane and finding out about the city’s street monkeys.

Elsewhere in India, he visits a temple devoted to rats and participates in a huge religious ceremony.

10.00 Banged Up Abroad In 2007, Sarah Jackson duped her friend Simon into helping her smuggle drugs from Peru to the UK. Seized by police, the pair were split up and sent to different jails as they awaited trial.

Bad friend!

11.05 Unbreakable Eight intrepid volunteers undergo an onslaught of physical and mental pressure in a bid to be declared ‘unbreakable’.

12.05am PartyPoker.com World Open IV 1.35 Major League Baseball 4.45 Race And Rally UK 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 XAdventures 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Sports Unlimited 9.00 X-Adventures 9.30 Ginetta Championship 10.00 Darts: World Grand Prix 3.00pm Golf 4.00 Poker Million 6.00 Total Rugby 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 LIVE Football 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 NFL Total Access 12.00am Golf: Euro Pro Tour 2.00 European Tour Weekly 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 British Carp Angling Championships 4.00 Irish Greyhound Racing 4.30 European Tour Weekly 5.00 Sports Unlimited

Sky Sports 3 8.30am Golf: Challenge Tour 9.00 Golf 10.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 NFL - Total Access 2.00 X-Adventures 2.30 Hyundai A League 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 British Motocross Championship 8.00 PGA EuroPro Tour Golf 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 European Tour Weekly 11.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 12.00am Spirit Of Yachting 12.30 British Carp Angling Championships 1.30 Women’s Pool 2.30 Squash: PSA Tour

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

1.00pm Project Catwalk 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 9.00 Ross Kemp: A Kenya Special 10.30 FILM: The Last Boy Scout (1991) 12.35am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Freaky Eaters 8.00 Dog Borstal 9.00 Hoodies Can Be Goodies 10.00 Heroes 10.45 Family Guy 11.05 Coming Of Age 11.35 The Most Annoying Pop Moments... We Hate To Love 2.05am Dog Borstal 3.05 Coming Of Age 3.35 Hoodies Can Be Goodies 4.30 Football Gaffes Galore 4.45 Spendaholics

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Britain From Above (x2) 9.00 Wilderness Explored 10.00 Kingdom Of The Ice Bear (x2) 11.50 Wilderness Explored 12.50am Frank Hurley: The Man Who Made History 1.50 The Worst Journey In The World 2.50 Wilderness Explored

3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 9.00 Jack Osbourne: Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie 10.00 Celebrity Juice. See highlights. 10.30 FILM: Coyote Ugly (2000) 12.30am No Heroics

1.50pm PD James: Devices And Desires 2.55 Poirot 4.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.00 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.40 Heartbeat 6.50 The Wonder Years (x2) 7.50 PD James: Devices And Desires 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 10.00 Cold Blood 11.30 PD James: Devices And Desires 12.35am Agatha Christie’s Poirot

1.40 One Tree Hill 2.35 The OC 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 10.00 Fonejacker 10.30 Rick & Steve 11.00 Star Stories 11.35 When Women Rule The World 12.35am Scrubs (x2)

12.55pm 3 Minute Wonder (x3) 1.10 Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 Hill Street Blues 4.00 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.05 Grand Designs 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Dispatches 10.00 The Virgin Daughters 11.00 The US Presidential Debate

11.55am Maury (x2) 1.45pm The Fix 2.00 Close To Home 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Australia’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy 9.00 Dirty Dancing: The Time Of Your Life 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am Grey’s Anatomy 1.00 Will And Grace (x2)

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.20pm As Time Goes By 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances 5.40 Waiting For God 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 The Vicar Of Dibley 10.20 French And Saunders 11.00 The Royle Family 11.40 Little Britain 12.20am The Vicar Of Dibley

1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Scrubs (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x4) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.05 Coupling 11.45 Scrubs 12.15am Scrubs 12.45 Becker (x2)

1.00pm Forensic Detectives 2.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Rome 10.00 My Shocking Story 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Crime Scene Australia

1.00pm Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Solar Attack (2005) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Angel 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 FILM: Force Of Impact (2005) 9.40 FILM: Meltdown: Days Of Destruction (2006) 11.30 FILM: Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle Pie (2003) 1.10am Medium

12.20pm Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 2.05 Phantom Of The Opera (1962) 3.35 Billion Dollar Brain (1967) 5.30 It Came From Outer Space (1953) 7.00 Julius Caesar (1970) 9.00 The Nutty Professor (1963) 10.50 Too Late The Hero (1970) 1.05am Billion Dollar Brain (1967)

1.45pm Pangea Day Highlights 2.15 Schultze Gets The Blues (2003) 4.15 Tube Tales (1999) 5.55 35mm 6.25 The Page Turner (2006) 8.00 Infamous (2006) 10.00 The Walker (2007) 11.55 Z Channel: A Magnificent Obsession (2004) 2.00am Pangea Day Highlights

1.00pm Jolson Sings Again (1949) 2.55 A Bell For Adano (1945) 5.00 The Eve Of Saint Mark (1944) 6.55 How To Lose Friends And Alienate People Preview 7.05 An Ideal Husband (1999) 9.00 The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) 11.05 The Acid House (1997) 1.20am Apres Vous (2003)

9.15am Three Little Words (1950) 11.10 The Sisters (1938) 1.00pm Boys’ Night Out (1962) 3.00 King Solomon’s Mines (1950) 4.55 Young Cassidy (1965) 7.00 Ada (1961) 9.00 Catholic Boys (1985) 10.55 Savage Messiah (1972) 12.45am The Subterraneans (1960) 2.40 All This And Heaven Too (1940)

Classics

Indie

039_LS393_TV_Thu

30/9/08

3:40 PM

Page 1

thursday 9 Natural Born Sellers ITV1, 9pm The competition between the dedicated sales team is still on, despite Kirsten finding it all too much and walking out last week.

This week her replacement arrives and the new ensemble take a trip to Wakefield to join a double glazing firm. With Thea continuing to ‘take charge’ and lead the way, it’s anybody’s game.

Ninety Naps A Day Channel 4, 9pm Following the journey of three British narcolepsy sufferers as they travel to a conference in the US to find out more about their condition. Narcolepsy causes each of them to nod off at a moment’s notice, proving embarrassing for Samantha, difficult in school for Tony and a test to Ken’s relationship.

Samantha Who? E4, 10pm Christina Applegate’s return to TV comedy appears to be doing rather well. This week amnesiac Samantha learns that one of her ex-boyfriends has a restraining order out against her. Way time to say ‘goodbye’ with complete certainty. This leads her to consider her troubled relationship with her father. No Al Bundy here.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 11.00 Open House 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 LazyTown 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.03 The Owl 4.05 Raven 4.35 Beat The Boss 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Clifford’s Puppy Days 9.15 Tweenies Songtime 9.20 Balamory 9.40 Little Red Tractor 9.50 Pingu 10.00 In The Night Garden 10.30 Big Barn Farm 10.45 Get Squiggling 11.00 The Maths Channel 11.10 Primary History 11.30 Something Special 11.45 What? Where? When? Why? 12.00pm Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Living In The Sun 2.15 Animal 24:7 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts a general knowledge quiz.

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman returns with all the latest gossip from the training rooms and behind-thescenes action from the world of Strictly Come Dancing.

7.00 James May’s Big Ideas James May sets off to discover if his childhood vision of a world populated by robots will ever become a reality.

8.00 The Restaurant Raymond now challenges three couples to cook three private dinner parties in the homes of some very demanding clients. Pick us! Pick us! We can be demanding, just you see.

9.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks The anarchic, award-winning pop quiz returns with host Simon Amstell, regular team captain Phill Jupitus and guest team captain Stephen Fry. 9.30 Beautiful People Simon Doonan now living in New York, remembers the time auditioning for the school play led to his mother being arrested for assault.

10.00 The Graham Norton Show Graham is joined by comic Jennifer Saunders and 80s icon Cyndi Lauper.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Amazon With Bruce Parry Bruce Parry reaches the halfway point of his epic journey in Mamiraua.

12.20am Joins BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish

6.05am Making It 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me 8.30 Just Shoot Me 8.55 Frasier 9.30 Gay To Z 10.00 Big Squeeze 10.30 Extremes 11.25 Day I Got The Sack 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Property Ladder 1.30 FILM: Wake Of The Red Witch (1949) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Colin And Justin’s How Not To Decorate 12.30pm Five News 12.45 Grey’s Anatomy 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 County Secrets 3.05 FILM: Columbo Goes To College (1991) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

7.00am LIVE Test Cricket 12.00pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 Total Rugby 1.00 Football 2.30 Test Cricket 4.00 Live European Tour Golf: Madrid Masters 6.00 LIVE: Live Darts: World Grand Prix 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 Test Cricket 1.00am European Rugby: Challenge Cup 3.30 Race World 4.30 Barclays Premier League World 5.00 Live Test Cricket

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Bianca makes a decision which troubles Tony and Christian’s new relationship may not be all that it seems. Secrets and lies.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Big Cat Live Cameras are following the action 24 hours a day to reveal the amazing lives of our big cats - lions, cheetahs and leopards, and the cast of wild supporting characters. Like The Lion King – ish.

9.00 Silent Witness Drama series about a team of forensic pathologists.

Harry tangles with a Russian oligarch over the murder of his protegé. Plus he doesn’t trust the coppers. It’s all going Pete Tong down’t morgue.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby chairs the weekly political debate.

11.35 This Week A political review presented by Andrew Neil with Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott.

12.20am Holiday Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Charley Boorman: Ireland To Sydney

By Any Means 1.55 Arena: The Hunt For Moby-Dick 2.55 An Island Parish 3.25 Would Like To Meet Again 3.55 Chinese Food Made Easy 4.25 Joins BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening New; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Diane finally gets the truth about what Andy did to Jo. 7.30 Village Voices Series looking at villages in the South and South East of England. Headley.

8.00 The Bill A man called Clinton Andrews collapses on the bonnet of Rachel and Leon’s patrol car. Going to his aid, they realise he has been stabbed. Knife crime in Sun Hill appears to be going up.

9.00 Natural Born Sellers See highlights.

10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.40 Customs UK In Bristol, officers receive an anonymous tip-off about two cocaine smugglers arriving from Amsterdam. And officers aboard the fast cutter Searcher receive an angry welcome when they board a suspicious yacht off Cornwall.

11.10 Focus Award-winning regional current affairs series presented by Debbie Thrower. Taking part in untested drugs trials - how safe is it?

11.40 The Last Word Phil Hornby talks through big stories in the region with MPs and prominent figures.

12.10am Bingo Night Live 1.15 Motorsport UK 1.40 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.35 Loose Women 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Louise is delighted that her and Warren have everything back on track and enlists Mandy to help her get her and Warren’s wedding plans underway. Blind lady.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot 8.00 The Great Italian Escape Richard tries to clinch his biggest property deal of the summer and ends up taking part in the local Carnival parade, dressed as a medieval accountant.

8.30 Chateau Monty Series following Monty Waldin’s attempts to run a small vineyard in France and produce his own wine.

9.00 Ninety Naps A Day See highlights.

10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the topical comedy panel show with team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford.

10.35 Star Stories A skewed look at the career of Simon Cowell.

11.10 When Women Rule The World Reality series.

12.10am Alan Carr’s Celebrity Ding Dong 1.00 4 Music: Levi’s Ones To Watch: Esser 1.15 FILM: Devi (1960) 3.05 7/7: The Miracle Of Carriage 346 4.05 Get The Picture 4.20 Countdown 5.05 The Genius Of Charles Darwin

Sky Sports 2 6.00 Home And Away Rachel goes missing on her wedding day.

6.30 Animal Rescue Squad Staff at a seal sanctuary in Skegness give a young pup urgent medical attention.

7.00 Five News 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn discovers how firefighters train for their most hazardous jobs.

8.00 I Own Britain’s Best Home And Garden Laurence LlewelynBowen and a panel of experts scrutinise some of the country’s most extraordinary gardens.

9.00 Extraordinary People: The Little Mermaid Series of absorbing documentaries exploring remarkable stories of human experience from all over the world. This edition focuses on a girl born with a rare and debilitating defect which gives her a mermaid-like appearance.

10.00 FILM: A Perfect World (1993) Starring Kevin Costner, Clint Eastwood, Laura Dern, T J Lowther, Keith Szarabajka and Leo Burmeister.

Drama about an escaped prisoner who kidnaps a boy and grows attached to him. The convict takes the boy with him as he is hunted down by an elite team of Texas Rangers.

12.40am Quiz Call 4.00 Major League Soccer 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 Football 11.00 European Tour Weekly 11.30 LIVE: Euro Tour Golf 1.30pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 XAdventures 2.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 3.00 British Carp Angling Championships 4.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.30 NFL - Total Access 5.30 Irish Showjumping Premier Series 6.00 Test Cricket 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 LIVE: Live: Horse Of The Year Show 11.00 Golf Night 1.00am NFL - Total Access 2.00 Horse Of The Year Show 5.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 5.30 ATP Tennis Magazine

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 XAdventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Judo 9.00 X-Adventures 9.30 Irish Greyhound Racing 10.00 Darts: World Grand Prix 3.00pm Watersports World 4.00 British Motocross Championship 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 6.30 Motor Sport 7.30 LIVE: Live Premier League Snooker 11.00 WWE: Late Night Raw 1.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 2.00 Motor Sport 3.00 Poker

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

1.00pm Project Catwalk 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Celebrity Are You Smarter Than A Ten-YearOld? 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case 11.00 Fringe 12.45am Road Wars

7.00pm Freaky Eaters: Addicted To Chicken 8.00 Make My Body Younger 9.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Real Hustle 11.00 Family Guy 11.20 The World’s Strictest Parents 12.20am Make My Body Younger 12.50 The Real Hustle 1.50 Massive 2.20 Dog Borstal

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Fossil Detectives 8.00 Steam Days 8.30 Railway Walks 9.00 Between The Lines: Railways In Fiction And Film 10.00 FILM: The Lady Vanishes (1938) 11.35 The Signalman 12.15am Saki: Who Killed Mrs De Ropp? 1.15 Between The Lines: Railways In Fiction And Film

4.30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 The Fashion Show 8.00 CelebAir 9.00 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter 10.00 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl 10.30 No Heroics 11.00 Entourage 11.30 FILM: Pretty Woman (1990) 1.55am Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter

1.50pm The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 2.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.00 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.40 Heartbeat 6.50 The Wonder Years (x2) 7.50 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Torn 10.00 Cold Blood 11.30 Crime Thriller Awards 1.00am Agatha Christie’s Poirot

1.45pm One Tree Hill 2.35 The OC 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Samantha Who?. See highlights. 10.30 Crowned 11.30 Sunset Tan 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 1.00 Gilmore Girls

2.00pm ER 3.00 Hill Street Blues 4.00 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.05 Grand Designs 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares Revisited 10.00 Without A Trace 11.00 The Closer 12.00am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares Revisited

12.50pm Maury 1.45 The Fix 2.00 Close To Home 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Australia’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 The Underdog Show 9.00 Lipstick Jungle 10.00 Grey’s Anatomy 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Grey’s Anatomy 1.00 Will And Grace (x2)

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.00pm My Family 3.40 Sorry! 4.20 As Time Goes By 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances 5.40 Waiting For God 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Blackadder Exclusive 11.00 The Royle Family 11.40 Blackadder Exclusive 1.40am The Royle Family

4.00pm The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.05 Coupling 11.45 Two And A Half Men 12.15am Kitchen Confidential

2.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 My Shocking Story (x2) 10.00 Deranged Killers 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Crime Scene Australia 1.00 A Haunting 2.00 Forensic Detectives

1.00pm Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Force Of Impact (2005) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Angel 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Triangle 9.40 FILM: The Faculty (1998) 11.50 FILM: Emmanuelle’s Private Collection: Emmanuelle Vs Dracula (2004) 1.30am Medium

11.25am Island In The Sky (1953) 1.20pm Look Back In Anger (1958) 3.05 The Lady Eve (1941) 4.40 True Grit (1969) 6.50 How To Steal A Million (1966) 9.00 The Night Of The Hunter (1955) 10.40 True Grit (1969) 12.50am The Miracle Of Morgan’s Creek (1944) (1955)

10.40am Love Me If You Dare (2003) 12.15pm Earth (1998) 2.05 Lemming (2005) 4.20 The Last Mogul: Life And Times Of Lew Wasserman (2005) 6.00 Love Me If You Dare (2003) 7.35 Seven Swords (2005) 10.00 The Namesake (2006) 12.05am London To Brighton (2006)

1.00pm Girls! Girls! Girls!

(1962) 3.00 Leave Her To Heaven (1946) 5.10 Operation Amsterdam (1959) 7.15 How To Lose Friends And Alienate People Preview 7.25 The Animal (2001) 9.00 An Officer And A Gentleman (1982) 11.25 A Man Apart (2003) 1.30am Sawdust And Tinsel (1953)

11.15am Murder Ahoy (1964) 1.00pm The Wings Of Eagles (1957) 3.00 Sunday In New York (1963) 4.55 The Tender Trap (1955) 7.00 The Biggest Bundle Of Them All (1968) 9.00 The Go-Between (1970) 11.15 The Outfit (1973) 1.05am Wild Rovers (1971) 3.15 The Conspirators (1944)

Classics

Indie

040_LS393_TV_Fri

9/30/08

5:47 PM

Page 1

friday 10 Ugly Betty Channel 4, 9pm This just gets sillier and better each week. With Wilhelmina making her triumphant return to Mode surrounded by a media frenzy – surely she is the media – and Amanda agreeing to do a reality show with her daddy Gene Simmonds, there’s hardly time to worry about how much time Betty’s spending with Gio.

QI BBC2, 10pm In the third series, and subsequently concentrating on questions regarding the letter ‘C’, host Stephen Fry investigates topics such as Cockneys, Catfish and Coal. With more than a little bit of help from Bill Bailey, Rory McGrath, Phil Jupitus and Alan Davies this is really what it means to learn and laugh. He he.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition More4, 8.30pm Expect there to be plenty about banks, presidential candidates and the housing market as the sharp-witted Jon Stewart sets his satirical sights on a global target.

This will be America’s Thursday night comment, so check out yesterday’s news for highlights.

Quality perspective.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 11.00 Open House 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 LazyTown 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Secret Show 4.03 The Owl 4.05 The Revenge Files Of Alistair Fury 4.35 Dani’s House 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Clifford’s Puppy Days 9.15 Tweenies Songtime 9.20 Balamory 9.40 Little Red Tractor 9.50 Pingu 10.00 In The Night Garden 10.30 Big Barn Farm 10.45 Get Squiggling 11.00 Fun With Phonics 11.10 Primary Geography 11.20 Let’s Write A Story 11.40 Around Scotland 12.00pm Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Living In The Sun 2.15 Animal 24:7 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts a general knowledge quiz.

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Claudia Winkelman breaks into the Strictly Come Dancing rehearsals.

7.00 An Island Parish It is time for the four island men who plan to row from New York back home to Scilly to say a tearful farewell to the islands.

7.30 An Island Parish Leo the bullterrier gives Auntie Kris a shock.

8.00 Mastermind Tonight’s subjects are: Grigoriy Rasputin; West Coast Underground Comics; The Gospels of the New Testament and West Indies Test Cricket.

8.30 Gardeners’ World Carol looks at the success of a vegetable garden in its first year.

9.00 The American Future: A History, By Simon Schama Simon Schama travels through America to dig deep into the conflicts of its history as a way to understand the country’s contemporary political situation.

10.00 QI See highlights.

10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review 11.35 Later...with Jools Holland Guests include Coldplay, Glen Campbell and John Mellencamp.

12.35am That Mitchell And Webb Situation (x2) 1.25 Star Trek: The Next Generation 2.55 FILM: Corridors Of Blood (1958)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish

6.05am Making It 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me 8.25 Just Shoot Me 9.00 Frasier 9.30 Gay To Z 10.00 Big Squeeze 10.30 Extremes 11.25 Day I Got The Sack 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Supernanny US 1.15 FILM: Sands Of Iwo Jima (1949) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Colin And Justin’s How Not To Decorate 12.30pm Five News 12.45 Grey’s Anatomy 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 County Secrets 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: A Nightmare Come True (1997) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

7.00am LIVE Test Cricket 12.00pm Barclays Premier League World 12.30 ATP Magazine 1.00 NFL - Total Access 2.00 Barclays Premier League World 2.30 Test Cricket 4.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Madrid Masters 6.00 LIVE Darts: World Grand Prix 7.30 LIVE Under-21 International Football 10.00 LIVE Darts: World Grand Prix 11.00 International Rugby League 1.00am Under-21 International Football 2.30 Friday Fight Night 4.30 Big League Weekend 5.30 Gillette World Sport

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Betty is unimpressed when she discovers why Louise asked her to be a bridesmaid.

7.30 Coronation Street Nina gives Dev a final ultimatum. Hasn’t that already happened? Is this another ultimatum? Do they know what that word means?

8.00 DIY Diagnosis: Tonight Ginny Buckley tests some of the kits sold over the counter to check everything from cholesterol levels to liver function.

8.30 Coronation Street Carla is oblivious to Tony’s growing anger.

9.00 Wire In The Blood When a young gay murder victim is linked to the killing of a second young man, Tony is called in to investigate the bizarre chain of murders. Elsewhere, the cannibal Tony helped to convict claims that he has found God. 10.00 Al Murray’s Happy Hour Joining Al tonight are comedy queen Dawn French, and TV’s hottest stylist Gok Wan. Plus, live music from Sugababes, as well as the obligatory Queen singalong at closing time.

11.00 The Late News; Weather 11.45 Bingo Night Live 12.50am Planet Rock Profiles 1.45 FILM: Peeping Tom (1960) 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 4.40 ITV Early Morning News 5.15 F1: Japanese Grand Prix

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Myra encourages Mercedes not to dwell on Malachy or her HIV results.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 First Cut: Junk Mail Britain Mark Craig’s film is a portrait of community life and social change through an examination of his town’s junk mail. The eccentric Willesden resident traces the origin of flyers back to the people who set about infiltrating his letterbox.

8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away London couple Mandy and Winston choose between Devon and Spain for a quiet retreat, following Winston’s diagnosis with MS. 9.00 Ugly Betty See highlights.

10.00 Alan Carr’s Celebrity Ding Dong Comedian Alan Carr returns for a second series.

10.50 The Secret Policeman’s Ball Another chance to see this year’s music and comedy showcase.

12.30am 4 Music: Levi’s Ones To Watch: Metronomy 12.45 Levi’s Ones To Watch: Broken Records 12.55 JD Set Presents: Team Waterpolo 1.10 Goalissimo!

2.05 KOTV 2.35 The Highlander Challenge World Championship 3.30 Trans World Sport 4.25 Countdown 5.10 The Genius Of Charles Darwin

6.00 Home And Away Elliot kidnaps Nicole. Will Geoff save the day?

Surely it’s law that everyone called Geoff saves the day at least once. Is this his time?

6.30 Animal Rescue Squad 7.00 Five News 7.30 Daring Raids Of World War II Historical documentary series presented by Major Gordon Corrigan.

8.00 Police Interceptors A drug dealer’s car flashes up on the police radar, leading to a risky interception.

9.00 NCIS A young marine killed in Iraq is suspected of involvement in the murder of a young girl. When her body is found amongst his belongings, the case looks closed but Gibbs believes the soldier is innocent.

Never argue with Gibbs’ gut.

10.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit After intervening in an armed robbery, Fin finds himself at the centre of some unwelcome attention.

11.00 Law And Order When a cab driver is found stabbed to death under his taxi, Briscoe and Green discover that his last fare was a former convict and aspiring writer.

Poison pen? Sorry.

12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 Wild Events Wildlife 4.25 Great Ocean Adventures: The Thresher Shark 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

Sky Sports 2

6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Big Cat Live 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Billy gets an important visit from the social services about Jay. Does anyone else remember way back when Billy was found in charge of a neglected Jamie? Maybe the social worker.

8.30 DIY SOS The home renovation programme sees Nick Knowles and the team coming to the aid of Debbie and her 8-year-old son, Tyler.

9.00 Harry And Paul The final episode of the sketch series starring Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse.

9.30 Little Britain USA Vicky Pollard arrives at boot camp in Utah having been thrown out of Disneyland.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Guests are actor Colin Farrell, fashionista Alexa Chung and former James Bond, Sir Roger Moore.

11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.40 FILM: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995) Starring Steven Seagal, Katherine Heigl. Action.

1.15am Weatherview 1.20 Sign Zone: Earth: The Climate Wars 2.20 Street Doctor 2.50 Joins BBC News

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 European Rugby: Challenge Cup 11.30 Live: Euro Tour Golf 1.30pm IAAF Athletix Weekly 2.00 XAdventures 2.30 ATP Tennis Magazine 3.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 3.30 Women’s Pool 4.30 NFL - Total Access 5.30 Live European Rugby: Challenge Cup 8.00 LIVE European Rugby 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night Live 12.00am Big League Weekend 1.00 Horse Of The Year Show 4.00 Gillette World Sport 4.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 XAdventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Darts: World Grand Prix 2.00pm Euro Tour Golf 4.00 WWE Raw 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 LIVE Horse Of The Year Show 11.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 Tight Lines 3.00 British Ice Hockey 5.30 ATP Tennis Magazine

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

2.00pm Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x3) 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Hairspray: The School Musical 10.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 11.00 UK Border Force 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Greece Uncovered 2.40 Uncut! British Sex 3.30 Scare Tactics

7.00pm Spendaholics 8.00 Most Annoying Couples 9.00 Almost Famous 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 11.30 Family Guy 11.50 Massive 12.20am Coming Of Age 12.50 Most Annoying Couples 1.50 Almost Famous 2.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2)

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Itzhak Perlman: Virtuoso Violinist 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Legends 10.00 Guitar Heroes On Later... With Jools Holland 11.00 The Story Of The Guitar 12.00am The Avengers 12.50 The Avengers 1.40 Legends 2.40 Guitar Heroes On Later... With Jools Holland

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy 6.30 The X Factor (x2) 9.00 FILM: Pretty Woman (1990) 11.25 Celebrity Juice 11.55 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter 12.55am Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show

4.00pm Daily Cooks Challenge 5.00 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.40 Heartbeat 6.50 Film File 7.00 The Wonder Years (x2) 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 FILM: Smokey And The Bandit (1977) 11.55 Inspector Wexford: Means Of Evil 1.55am Dempsey And Makepeace

12.45pm Scrubs (x2) 1.40 One Tree Hill 2.35 The OC 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.00 Supernanny: Beyond The Naughty Step 10.35 FILM: Mean Machine (2001) 12.35am Scrubs (x2)

2.00pm ER 3.00 Hill Street Blues 4.00 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.05 Grand Designs 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition.

See highlights. 9.00 FILM: John Q (2001) 11.15 Erotomania 12.20am All You Need Is Love

12.50pm Maury 1.45 The Fix 2.00 Close To Home 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Australia’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am Grey’s Anatomy 1.00 Will And Grace (x2)

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.00pm Keeping Up Appearances 5.40 Waiting For God 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Porridge 10.20 FILM: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) 11.55 Only Fools And Horses 12.35am Porridge

2.00pm Scrubs (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Kitchen Confidential (x2) 12.50am Becker (x2)

2.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 My Shocking Story 9.00 Couples Who Kill 10.00 Call 911 (x2) 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Crime Scene Australia 1.00 A Haunting

12.05pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Mysterious Island (2005) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Firefly 7.00 Eli Stone (x2) 9.00 Sea Of Souls (x2) 11.30 Medium 12.30am FILM: Emmanuelle In Space: A Lesson In Love (1994) 2.30 Ghost Stories 3.00 Sea Of Souls

11.45am Rooster Cogburn (1975) 1.35pm Teacher’s Pet (1958) 3.40 Hail The Conquering Hero (1944) 5.25 Shadow Of A Doubt (1943) 7.15 The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938) 9.00 Coogan’s Bluff (1968) 10.40 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 12.35am Cool Hand Luke (1967)

9.00am Nelly And Monsieur Arnaud (1995) 10.50 Best (1999) 12.50pm Election (1999) 2.40 Volver (2006) 4.40 Nelly And Monsieur Arnaud (1995) 6.30 An Inconvenient Truth (2006) 8.10 Best (1999) 10.00 Election (1999) 11.45 Hard Eight (1997) 1.35am I Want You (1998)

1.00pm Chance Of A Lifetime (1950) 2.50 Whirlpool (1949) 4.45 Blanche Fury (1948) 6.40 S1m0ne (2002) 9.00 Get Over It (2001) Cheerleading comedy featuring the unusual ensemble of Kirsten Dunce, Sisqo and Colin Hanks. 10.45 Once Upon A Time In America (1984)

9.10am Our Vines Have Tender Grapes (1945) 11.05 The Miniver Story (1950) 1.00pm That’s Dancing! (1985) 3.00 Interrupted Melody (1955) 4.55 The Prodigal (1955) 7.00 Lady L (1965) 9.00 Diner (1982) 11.00 Alex In Wonderland (1970) 1.05am Slither (1973) 2.45 The Women (1939)

Classics

Indie

041_LH393_TV_Sat

10/2/08

5:00 PM

Page 1

saturday 11 Merlin BBC1, 7.05pm This is a great value sword and sorcery series, however the plot for this week’s episode reads like a Nintendo game set-up. Evil sorceress Nimueh returns to Camelot and poisons Merlin. Only Arthur can retrieve the antidote from the forest of Balor, but Nimueh won’t make it easy.

Collect 500 points at the castle.

The X Factor ITV1, 7.15pm Right, we know you haven’t got it– either that or you were too chicken to try out– cos if you’re watching this you can’t possibly be on live telly at the same time.

Yes, it’s the first round of live eliminations with the final 12 taking to the stage and begging, pleading and generally selling their souls for your voting call.

Children’s TV On Trial BBC4, 11.40pm Three episodes of a five-part series all back-to-back? My, we are spoilt. Especially when said series indulges our favourite memories of bygone telly. Kicking off with kids TV’s origins in the 1950s, this follows right through to the 1990s, touching base with all of our favourites. Expect talking heads and nostalgia.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 What To Eat Now 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 Racing From Ascot And Chepstow 2.30 Grand Prix Snooker 2008 4.30 Keeping Up Appearances 5.00 Hole In The Wall 5.30 BBC News 5.40 Regional News And Weather 5.50 Strictly Come Dancing

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Roar 8.00 Secret Show 8.15 Secret Show 8.29 The Owl 8.30 Gimme A Break 9.00 TMi 10.00 Lockie Leonard 10.30 Hot Rods 10.55 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.30 Eliot Kid 11.45 Sportsround 12.00pm Sound 12.30 Scene Stealers 1.00 Greek 1.45 Revealed 2.00 The Sky At Night 2.20 Coast 2.25 FILM: Becket (1964) 4.50 The Hairy Bikers 5.20 The Weakest Link: Blue Peter Special 6.20 Dad’s Army Classic comedy about the Home Guard unit of Walmington-on-Sea. 6.50 Timewatch - The Boxer Rebellion Timewatch exclusively reveals the dramatic true story behind the Boxer Rebellion of 1900, when Imperial troops and Chinese rebels laid siege to the diplomatic quarter in Beijing. Source material rocks!

7.50 Big Cat Live 8.40 Blue Peter At 50 Tom Baker narrates an entertaining romp through the five decades of the world’s longest running children’s television programme.

9.40 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Comedy pop quiz with Simon Amstell and team captain Phill Jupitus.

10.10 Beautiful People 10.40 Live At The Apollo Comedian Jo Brand hosts special guest Michael McIntyre. In the firing line are Simon Cowell, labiaplasties, football referees and flaming terrorists.

11.25 Kings Of 70s Romance Lesley Joseph narrates a documentary about the unlikely pin-ups of the 1970s music scene, from Gilbert O’Sullivan and Barry White, to Leo Sayer and Demis Roussos. Much hair and extreme vocal ranges were popular.

12.25am Grand Prix Snooker Highlights 1.15 Grand Prix Snooker Extra 3.15 FILM: Pavee Lackeen: The Traveller Girl (2005)

6.00am F1: Japanese Grand Prix Qualifying 7.15 GMTV 10.05 Emu 10.20 Bernard’s Watch 10.35 Coronation Street Omnibus 12.50pm The X Factor 1.50 ITV News And Weather 1.55 Meridian News And Weather 2.00 F1: Japanese Grand Prix Qualifying 4.00 Meridian News And Weather 4.15 ITV News And Weather 4.30 England v Kazakhstan Live

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.30 Everybody Loves Lil Chris 10.00 Friends 10.35 4Music Presents... 11.05 Friends 11.40 The Hills 12.05pm Reaper 1.05 Scrubs 1.30 Scrubs 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.20 Brothers And Sisters 5.20 FILM: Tea With Mussolini (1999)

6.00am – 8.50am Children’s television 8.50 The Mr. Men Show 9.05 Rupert Bear 9.20 Animal Families 9.40 Oswald 9.50 Demolition Dad 10.00 The Gadget Show 11.00 Axe Men 12.00pm Mean Machines Of War 12.50 Zoo Days 1.20 FILM: Columbo: A Trace Of Murder (1997) 3.15 FILM: Candleshoe (1977) 5.15 FILM: Spanglish (2004) 7.25 Five News And Sport The latest national and international headlines.

6.00am Under-21 International Football 7.30 Big League Weekend 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.00pm LIVE Football League: League One 2.30 LIVE International Football 5.15 LIVE International Football 7.30 LIVE Darts: World Grand Prix 11.30 International Football 1.30am Test Cricket 3.30 International Football 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly

7.05 Merlin See highlights.

7.50 The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins Nick Knowles hosts the Saturday night National Lottery quiz where two teams of strangers compete to win £50,000 by completing a series of lists. From Madonna’s hit singles to countries of Africa, the team which names the most correct answers gets to play for the jackpot. Includes Thunderball and National Lottery Draw.

8.40 Casualty Abs, struggling to come to terms with the death of his friend, vents his frustrations on the team. The reappearance of an old face causes ripples in the ED. Is it that mighty popular nurse Raspberry?

9.30 BBC News 9.50 Little Britain USA Matt Lucas and David Walliams take their comic creations to the US for a six-part series. Repeat of last night’s episode.

11.55 FILM: AWOL: Absent Without Leave (1990) Starring JeanClaude Van Damme. Bruising action yarn about a tough French Foreign Legionnaire who deserts his post and flees to New York where he enters the world of illegal bare-knuckle boxing in a bid to win money for his widowed sister-in-law. Honour and hitting things combined. Class.

1.35am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.35 Weatherview 2.40 Joins BBC News

7.15 The X Factor See highlights.

9.15 All Star Family Fortunes Vernon Kay welcomes two more celebrities and their families to compete to win up to £30,000 for a charity of their choice. Actor Gary Lucy and his family pit theit wits against TV presenter Emma Griffiths, her husband Matt Willis and their clan. Can you spot who’s angling to be next to go into the jungle?

10.00 The X Factor Results Dermot O’Leary reveals the results of the first public vote of the series. The two acts with the lowest number of votes perform one more time in the final showdown, before judges Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole, Louis Walsh and Dannii Minogue decide who stays and who goes. Plus, last year’s winner Leon Jackson launches his new single. Is this the first time we’ve heard he’s got a surname? Bet he wishes it was ‘-a Lewis’.

10.45 ITV News 11.00 England V Kazakhstan Highlights Matt Smith introduces action from Wembley of England’s 2010 World Cup qualifier against Kazakhstan. It’s a match made in Borat heaven.

12.00am Bingo Night Live 1.15 FILM: City By The Sea (2002) 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 4.00 ITV Early Morning News 4.30 F1: Japanese Grand Prix Live

7.30 Channel 4 News 8.00 Building Of The Year: RIBA Stirling Prize 2008 Live Kevin McCloud hosts live coverage from the RIBA Stirling Prize announcement, held at the BT Convention Centre in Liverpool. The prize is given to the architects of the building that has made the greatest contribution to British architecture in the past year.

9.00 FILM: Collateral Damage (2002) Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Elias Koteas, John Leguizamo, John Turturro. Explosive action thriller in which a firefighter, frustrated at the lack of progress being made in the investigation into a terrorist bombing which killed his wife and child, decides to go after those responsible himself.

11.05 FILM: Straw Dogs (1971) Starring Dustin Hoffman, Susan George, Peter Vaughan, T McKenna, Peter Arne, Sally Thomsett.

Controversial and violent thriller directed by Sam Peckinpah, set in a remote Cornish village. A peaceloving American academic moves to the village with his English wife, who grew up there. But the couple soon find themselves under siege by hostile villagers.

1.25am FILM: Waking Life (2001) 3.10 Terra Firma 3.40 St Elsewhere 4.25 Countdown 5.10 Salvage Squad

7.35 NCIS A marine who supposedly froze to death turns up alive on Ducky’s autopsy table. As the team investigates his case, a link to Gibbs’s past emerges. Gibbs has a past that doesn’t involve ex-wives?

8.30 NCIS Gibbs and the team try to find out who was responsible for an explosion that killed two NCIS agents. Initially suspecting a suicide bomber was to blame, the team is baffled when some confusing new evidence comes to light and changes everything. Is it a prism? That changes loads of things when it comes to light.

9.30 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation The team investigates after a cowboy is found dead at a rodeo and his girlfriend is killed in a hit-and-run.

10.30 Law And Order: Criminal Intent When a promising chef mysteriously disappears following the murder of a restaurant critic, Goren and Eames probe the uneasy relationship between the missing man’s wife and his father-in-law.

11.30 Crime Scene Academy Documentary following a class of students at the masterclass for CSIs at the National Forensic Academy.

12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 Wild Events 4.25 Great Ocean Adventures: Spinner Dolphin 5.10 House Doctor (x2)

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 12.00pm Gillette World Sport 12.30 XAdventures 1.00 LIVE European Rugby 3.30 LIVE European Rugby 5.30 LIVE European Rugby 8.00 LIVE Horse Of The Year Show 11.00 America’s Game 12.00am Gillette World Sport 12.30 LIVE NASCAR 4.30 Motor Racing: Ginetta Championship 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Tight Lines 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 LIVE Rugby Union 9.30 X-Adventures 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 Live: Euro Tour Golf 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 XAdventures 6.00 LIVE Speedway 9.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 10.00 LIVE Football 12.00am LIVE Football 2.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 4.30 X-Adventures 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 X-Adventures

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

3.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 4.00 American Gladiators 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Celebrity Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 7.00 UK Border Force 8.00 Sir Alex’s Most Wanted 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Night Cops 11.00 Street Wars 12.00am Prison Break 1.00 Street Wars

7.00pm Gaffes Galore Outtakes 7.15 Mind, Body And Kick Ass Moves 7.45 The Real Hustle 8.15 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.15 The Most Annoying TV... We Hate To Love 11.45 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.45am Coming Of Age 1.15 Massive

7.00pm Lark Rise To Candleford (x2) 9.00 Ian Hislop Goes Off The Rails 10.00 Damages (x2) 11.40 Children’s TV On Trial (x3). See highlights.

2.40am Mark Lawson Talks To Biddy Baxter 3.40 Ian Hislop Goes Off The Rails 5.30 Close

7.00pm Johnny Vegas: The Hot Desk 7.15 Superhuman: World’s Smallest People 8.15 Superhuman - Giants 9.15 Xtra Factor 10.00 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show 10.30 Keith Lemon: The Hot Desk 10.45 Xtra Factor Results 11.30 Jack Osbourne: Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie 12.30am The X Factor 2.25 Xtra Factor

11.20am The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: The Double 12.30pm FILM: Smokey And The Bandit (1977) 2.25 FILM: Mary Poppins (1964) 5.10 Inspector Morse 7.15 Agatha Christie’s Marple 9.15 Taggart 10.40 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: The Double 11.45 FILM: Intersection (1994) 1.35am Brideshead Revisited

9.00am Fresh Saturday 10.00 Gilmore Girls (x5) 2.30pm Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Wife Swap (x2) 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The 100 Greatest Tearjerkers 1.10am Hollyoaks Omnibus 3.40 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 4.20 Switched (x2) 5.00 Anything Goes

9.00am A Place In The Sun 9.30 Time Team (x3) 12.35pm FILM: Sword Of Sherwood Forest (1960) 2.15 The Sculpture Diaries 3.20 Property Ladder (x2) 5.30 John Adams 6.50 Property Ladder (x2) 9.00 Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights (x6) 12.10am The West Wing 1.10 Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights (x6)

1.00pm The Underdog Show 2.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 3.00 The Jerry Springer Show (x6) 6.00 Will And Grace (x2) 7.00 Criminal Minds 8.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 9.00 Lipstick Jungle 10.00 America’s Next Top Model 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Ghost Whisperer

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.50pm Open All Hours 4.30 Only Fools And Horses 5.10 Porridge 5.50 Only Fools And Horses 7.20 Open All Hours 8.00 FILM: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) 9.35 Only Fools And Horses (x3) 12.00am Blackadder Exclusive: The Whole Rotten Saga 2.00 Dinnerladies (x2) 3.00 Home Shopping

3.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 4.00 Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Lee Evans XL Tour 2005 Live 11.20 Lee Evans: So What Now? 11.50 South Park (x2) 12.50 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 1.50 Linc’s

3.00pm Crime Museum UK With Martin Kemp (x2) 4.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 5.00 My Shocking Story 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 NASA’s Greatest Missions 8.00 The Day After D-Day 9.00 FILM: Patton (1970) 12.30am Call 911 (x2) 1.30 Crime Scene USA: Suburban Secrets 2.00 Forensic Detectives

11.00am Star Trek 12.00pm Thunderbirds 1.05 Thunderbirds 2.10 Quantum Leap 3.10 Quantum Leap 4.10 Firefly 5.10 FILM: Jason And The Argonauts (2000) 7.00 FILM: Jason And The Argonauts (2000) 8.50 FILM: Equilibrium (2002) 11.00 FILM: Alone In The Dark (2005) 1.00am FILM: Event Horizon (1997)

12.35pm Wild In The Country (1961) 2.35 Lover Come Back (1961) 4.35 Anne Of The Thousand Days (1969) 7.05 An Affair To Remember (1957) 9.00 Lover Come Back (1961) 10.50 Anne Of The Thousand Days (1969) 1.20am Wild In The Country (1961)

11.10am The Ground Truth (2006) 12.40pm Pangea Day Highlights 1.10 La Vie En Rose (2006) 3.35 The Proposition (1998) 5.30 New Police Story (2004) 7.35 Letters From Iwo Jima (2006) 10.00 Still Crazy (1998) 11.40 Sex, Lies And Videotape (1989) 1.30am The Proposition (1998)

1.00pm S1m0ne (2002) 3.20 Where The Sidewalk Ends (1950) 5.15 Waterloo Road (1944) 6.45 Star Trek: Nemesis (2001) 9.00 Road To Perdition (2002) Sam Mendes’ take on the mob, starring Paul Newman and Tom Hanks. 11.15 Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003) 1.20am Amelie (2001)

9.05am Sunday In New York (1963) 11.00 A Day At The Races (1937) 1.00pm The Merry Widow (1952) 3.00 High Society (1956) 4.55 The Sunshine Boys (1975) 7.00 Bhowani Junction (1956) 9.00 The Bounty (1984) 11.30 Cool Breeze (1972) 1.40am Mutiny On The Bounty (1962)

Classics

Indie

042_LS393_TV_Sun

10/2/08

5:13 PM

Page 1

sunday 12 Peter Kay’s Britain’s Got The Pop Factor Channel 4, 8pm Blimmin’ heck, it’s all gone Peter Kay crazy over on C4 tonight.

Kicking off with the perfect antidote to the barrage of reality talent shows hitting our screens at the mo’. With the final of this satire being presented by Cat Deeley, and a separate final show, this is capital F-U-N.

Strictly Come Dancing: Results BBC1, 8.15pm Miss yesterday’s fourth round dance-off? Then catch the recap tonight and the all important showdown between the two couples with the lowest number of your votes. Bet you feel guilty for missing it now when your vote could’ve saved your favourites.

Glam fun from Brucey.

Keith Lemon: The Hot Desk ITV2, 8.45pm Now, this isn’t an interview with actually quite shy Leigh Francis, Keith Lemon’s alter ego and real life persona. No, this sees the Hot Desk gang interviewing the fictitious comedian Keith Lemon, who for someone who doesn’t really exist is having quite a rich career. Tune in for this 15 minute catch-up.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Sunday Life 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 ‘Allo ‘Allo!

1.30 EastEnders 3.25 Merlin 4.10 Points Of View 4.25 Tess Of The D’Urbervilles 5.25 Songs Of Praise

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Roar 8.00 Mona The Vampire 8.15 What’s New Scooby Doo? 8.35 Stupid 9.00 Escape From Scorpion Island 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Film 2008 With Jonathan Ross 12.00pm Animal Park 1.00 Grand Prix Snooker 5.30 Diving With Dolphins

7.30am GMTV 10.45 Finger Tips 11.05 Finger Tips 11.25 Drake And Josh 11.55 Planet Sketch 12.05pm ITV News And Weather 12.10 Meridian News And Weather 12.15 The X Factor 2.15 The X Factor Results 3.00 F1: Japanese Grand Prix

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Trans World Sport 7.55 Iron Man 8.25 Freesports On 4 8.50 Friends 9.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 11.55 Frock Me 12.45pm Friends 1.15 Ugly Betty 2.15 When Women Rule The World 3.20 The Simpsons 3.50 The Simpsons 4.20 Deal Or No Deal 5.05 Bear Grylls: Born Survivor

6.00am – 7.40am Children’s television 7.40 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 7.55 Little Princess 8.10 The Funky Valley Show 8.25 The Beeps 8.40 The Mr. Men Show 8.55 Rupert Bear 9.10 Animal Families 9.30 George Shrinks 10.00 Deadly Jungle Rattlesnake: Austin Stevens’ Adventures 11.00 Mega Flood: Perfect Disaster 12.05pm FILM: Hawaii (1966) 3.35 FILM: Mrs Winterbourne (1996) 5.45 Five News

6.00am International Football 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 12.30pm LIVE European Rugby: Heineken Cup Round One 3.00 LIVE European Rugby 5.30 International Football 7.00 LIVE Darts: World Grand Prix 9.00 LIVE International Football 1.00am Darts: World Grand Prix 3.00 Golf Night 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 BBC News 6.10 Regional News; Weather 6.15 Big Cat Live The week-long series of live broadcasts from Kenya’s world famous Masai Mara game reserve draws to a close.

7.15 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team set up for business in the grounds of Lanhydrock, near Bodmin in Cornwall.

8.15 Strictly Come Dancing: Results See highlights.

9.00 Stephen Fry In America Stephen journeys across America in the first of a six-part series, meeting all manner of colourful characters along the way. Almost born and raised in the USA– his father turned down a job at Princeton before he was born– he has always been fascinated with the country.

Quintessential Englishman abroad.

10.00 BBC News 10.20 The Story Of The Guitar Alan Yentob presents on a three-part series examining how the guitar became the world’s favourite musical instrument.

11.25 The BBC One Sessions: Duffy 12.05am FILM: Boys & Girls (2000) 1.35 Weatherview 1.40 Sign Zone: Amazon With Bruce Parry 2.40 Silent Witness 3.40 The Dark Side Of Fame With Piers Morgan 4.25 Joins BBC News

6.00 Dragons’ Den Evan Davis presents the series in which entrepreneurs pitch their ideas to five multi millionaire investors.

7.00 The American Future: A History, By Simon Schama In American Plenty, Simon explores how American optimism about the infinite possibilities of its land and resources is in danger of coming to a grinding halt. The reasons for this change include the persistent droughts in the West, which make farming difficult, and the waning power of the Hoover Dam, once considered a miracle.

8.00 Charley Boorman: Ireland To Sydney By Any Means Tension fills the air as the team’s waterlogged cargo boat begins to sink on the way to Borneo. Glug?

9.00 James May’s Big Ideas James May sets off to find smarter, brighter and bolder ways of powering the planet.

10.00 Cracking Up 11.00 Graham Norton Uncut Graham Norton presents a show focusing on people, trends, stories and aspects of celebrity culture.

11.45 Heroes Drama series about people around the world dealing with their newly discovered superpowers.

12.30am Grand Prix Snooker Highlights 1.20 Grand Prix Snooker Extra 3.20 Nero Wolfe Mysteries 4.50 Inside Sport

6.00 Meridian News; Weather 6.15 ITV News; Weather 6.35 Village Voices Series portraying the villages of England in the South and South East.

7.00 For One Night Only Emma Bunton and Lee Mack present the variety show, including Pink performing So What, comical speciality act the English Gents showing off their unique balancing skills and Will Young performing Changes. Plug, plug, plug your song.

8.00 Heartbeat Some disturbing events compromise Miller professionally and his career hangs in the balance. Peggy’s antics trigger a health scare which results in an unexpected solution. E=MC+3?

9.00 A Touch Of Frost Police drama series. A 20 year old missing persons case is reopened when the remains of a teenage girl are finally found.

With the mother desperate to discover the truth about her daughter’s disappearance, Frost attempts to get to the bottom of it.

11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.15 F1: Japanese Grand Prix Highlights 12.15am It’s My Life 1.10 Faith In The Frame Melvyn 1.35 60 Minute Makeover 2.30 Watching The Detectives (x2) 3.15 Have I Been Here Before (x2) 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.05 Channel 4 News 6.25 FILM: Dr Dolittle 2 (2001) Starring Eddie Murphy, Kirsten Wilson, Raven Symone, Kyla Pratt and Lil’ Zane. Comedy sequel following Dr Dolittle’s attempts to save an endangered Pacific forest from the lumber industry by introducing a protected species of bear back into the wild.

8.00 Peter Kay’s Britain’s Got The Pop Factor See highlights.

9.15 One Hundred And Eighty: The Tour Documentary Behind the scenes on Peter Kay’s Mum Wants a Bungalow tour.

10.15 Peter Kay’s Britain’s Got The Pop Factor: The Final Result Which of the last two finalists will be crowned winner of Britain’s Got the Pop Factor and Possibly a New Celebrity Jesus Christ Soapstar Superstar Strictly on Ice? A lovely return to telly for Peter Kay with this satirical swipe.

11.00 FILM: Kingpin (1996) Starring Woody Harrelson, Randy Quaid, Bill Murray, Vanessa Angel. Bawdy comedy about a former bowling professional who sees a chance to achieve glory when he discovers an Amish man who appears to be a natural player.

1.05am FILM: Nayak (1966) 3.30 Coming Up: Thinspiration 3.55 FILM: McBride: Requiem (2006) 5.15 Countdown

6.00 FILM: Zathura: A Space Adventure (2005) Starring Tim Robbins, Jonah Bobo, Josh Hutcherson and Kristen Stewart.

Family adventure about two squabbling siblings who discover an old board game in their basement but find that playing it sends themselves and their house into deep space battling aliens and stuff.

8.00 Deadliest Outback Predators: Austin Stevens’ Adventures Wildlife documentary. Austin Stevens travels the barren landscape of northern Australia in search of some of the world’s deadliest reptiles.

Made you flinch!

9.00 FILM: Ghost (1990) Starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Whoopi Goldberg. Romantic fantasy thriller in which a man killed by a mugger returns as his young girlfriend’s ghostly guardian. Realising that his murder was premeditated and that her life is in great danger, he tries to make contact through a fake spiritualist. Will his girlfriend take the woman seriously?

11.30 Police Interceptors: Special Edition Special edition of the documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex.

12.00am Basketball - NBA 1.00 Major League Baseball 4.20 Rolex Grand Am 5.10 House Doctor (x2)

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 12.00pm Sky Sports Classics 12.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.00 LIVE: Euro Tour Golf 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 Test Cricket 7.30 Wild Spirits 8.00 LIVE Horse Of The Year Show 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE Vintage Collection 1.00 Horse Of The Year Show 4.00 Wild Spirits 4.30 Gillette World Sport 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Wild Spirits 6.30 Gillette World Sport 7.00 Polo 8.00 Women’s Pool 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Wild Spirits 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Polo 1.00 Women’s Pool 2.00 Wild Spirits 2.30 Test Cricket 4.30 NFL: Total Access 5.30 NFL: Livewire 6.00 LIVE NFL 9.00 LIVE NFL 12.30am NFL: Top Ten 1.30 LIVE NFL

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

2.00pm Cold Case 3.00 Malcolm In The Middle 3.30 Futurama (x3) 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Hairspray: The School Musical 7.00 The Simpsons (x3) 9.00 Fringe 10.10 Bones 11.10 Cold Case 12.10am Street Wars 1.05 The Villa 2.00 Uncut! Sex On The Job 2.55 Australia Uncovered 3.50 Road Wars

7.00pm Freaky Eaters: Addicted To Junk Food 8.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Massive 10.00 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 10.30 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 11.30 Coming Of Age (x2) 12.30am Massive 1.00 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor

7.00pm The Story Of Maths 8.00 Wilderness Explored 9.00 Dance Britannia 10.00 Last Man In Hammersmith Palais 11.00 More Dawn French’s Boys Who Do: Comedy 11.30 Guitar Heroes On Later... With Jools Holland 12.30am Legends 1.30 Wilderness Explored

7.00pm The Fashion Show 8.00 The X Factor Results 8.45 Keith Lemon: The Hot Desk . See highlights. 9.00 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter 10.00 Secret Diary Of A Call Girl 10.30 No Heroics 11.00 Celebrity Juice 11.30 Jack Osbourne: Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie 12.30am Entourage 1.00 CelebAir 1.55 Teleshopping

2.35pm FILM: The Parent Trap (1961) 5.10 FILM: Mary Poppins (1964) 8.00 The Best Of The Royal Variety 9.00 FILM: Intersection (1994) 11.00 Liverpool One 12.05am Hammer House Of Horror 1.15 Nora Roberts Collection: River’s End 2.45 Cagney And Lacey 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus

2.15pm Smallville: Superman The Early Years (x2) 4.00 Friends (x2) 5.00 Ghost Whisperer 6.00 Crowned 7.00 Friends (x2) 8.00 Ugly Betty 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 Samantha Who? 11.30 Sex And The City (x2) 12.40am The Simple Life 1.10 Dark Angel (x2) 2.45 Roswell (x2)

1.15pm A Place In The Sun 1.50 The Coach Trip (x5) 4.35 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.25 Jamie At Home 7.55 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 10.00 Jamie’s Ministry Of Food 11.10 Father Ted (x2) 12.15am Back To You 12.45 Deal Or No Deal 1.30 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares

3.00pm Exposed: Britney Spears 4.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 5.00 Dirty Dancing: The Time Of Your Life 6.00 The Underdog Show 7.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 Ghost Whisperer (x2) 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am Ghost Whisperer 1.00 Campus Ladies (x2)

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm Only Fools And Horses 12.40 Open All Hours 1.20 Only Fools And Horses (x3) 5.15 Open All Hours 5.55 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 9.00 Blackadder Exclusive: The Whole Rotten Saga 11.00 Only Fools And Horses 12.05am Only Fools And Horses 2.00 As Time Goes By 3.00 Home Shopping

9.00am Scrubs (x24) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Lee Evans: Wired And Wonderful 12.15am Lee Evans: So What Now? 12.45 Lee Evans XL Tour 2005 Live 2.05 South Park 2.35 Lee Evans: So What Now? 3.05 Scrubs 3.35 Sexy Cam 3.45 Life On A Stick (x3) 5.00 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life In Film (x2)

3.00pm FILM: Patton (1970) 6.30 How Do They Do It? 7.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 NASA’s Greatest Missions 10.00 Are UFOs Real? 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Call 911(x2) 1.00 Deranged Killers 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 American Chopper 3.50 My Shocking Story

11.00am FILM: Big (1988) 1.00pm Triangle 2.40 FILM: Multiplicity (1996) 5.00 Eli Stone (x2) 7.00 Thunderbirds 8.05 FILM: Mysterious Island (2005) 10.05 FILM: Mega Snake (2004) 12.05am FILM: Escape From LA (1996) 2.05 Ghost Stories 3.00 Angel 4.00 FILM: Force Of Impact (2005)

10.10 Look Back In Anger (1958) 11.55 Niagara (1952) 1.30pm The War Lord (1965) 3.35 The Snows Of Kilimanjaro (1952) 5.30 Johnny Guitar (1954) 7.25 Niagara (1952) 9.00 Psycho (1960) 10.50 The War Lord (1965) 1.00am The Innocents (1961) 2.45 Psycho (1960)

1.15pm Seven Swords (2005) 3.45 Tell No One (2006) 6.00 The Top 10 Show 6.20 The Fountain (2006) 8.00 Jeff Wayne’s Musical Version Of The War Of The Worlds 10.00 Running With Scissors (2006) 12.05am 35mm 12.35 The Fountain (2006) 2.15 Tell No One (2006)

1.00pm Picture Perfect (1997) Jennifer Aniston invents a boyfriend and gets promoted. 3.00 Belle Starr (1941) 4.45 The Return Of Frank James (1940) 6.40 That Thing You Do!(1996)8.50 How To Lose Friends & Alienate People Special 9.00 Hud (1963) 11.10 Bedazzled (2000) 1.00am Get Real (1998)

9.00am High Society (1956) 11.00 Executive Suite (1954) 1.00pm In The Good Old Summertime (1949) 3.00 It Happened At The World’s Fair (1963) 4.55 Where The Spies Are (1965) 7.00 Beau Brummell (1954) 9.00 Batman Forever (1995) 11.15 Victor/Victoria (1982) 2.05am Raintree County (1957)

Classics

Indie

043_LS393_TV_Mon

10/2/08

5:28 PM

Page 1

monday 13 Panorama BBC1, 8.30pm The American elections are getting ever closer and somehow it’s become very important over here in Blighty. Panorama prepares to take us in hand and explain where previously unknown but not highly profiled Barack Obama and Sarah Palin came from, and how the current climate could change things.

Paul Merton In India Five, 10pm Nice when witty people deliver travelogues about interesting and varied places. Ta da! Improviser and comedian Merton kicks off his journey in Delhi, where he is given a course in etiquette, takes a ride on a stationary plane and finds out more about the city’s street monkeys. It’s just like having a well funky tour guide.

Hell’s Kitchen USA ITV2, 9pm Mr Ramsay does tend to get hot and bothered, so being in a baking hot kitchen with a few inexperienced American chefs will get him at his sweary best.

Tonight each chef must create a dish based on one ingredient to please our Gordo. You know how easy that is. Pleasing the purple one. Oh, and the chef’s backbite.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 11.00 Open House 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 LazyTown 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Secret Show 4.04 The Owl 4.05 Get 100 4.35 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Watchdog Nicky Campbell and the team return for a new-look series of the consumer programme.

7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Jack and Tanya return from France with a plan - but will they tell? Regardless, it’s bound to come out in the most destructive fashion possible.

8.30 Panorama See highlights.

9.00 Crimewatch The hunt is on for a pair of gunmen who killed a manager when they opened fire in a busy office, and a man who was poisoned by his wife tells his story.

10.00 BBC News 10.25 South East Today 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Crimewatch Update Updates on cases in tonight’s programme.

10.45 The Dark Side Of Fame With Piers Morgan The series continues, with Piers Morgan talking to Nancy Dell’Olio, girlfriend of former England manager Sven Goran-Eriksson, about her rocky relationship with the British press. One word – Ulrika.

11.30 Inside Sport 12.00am FILM: Thunderheart (1992) 1.55 Autumnwatch Weatherview 2.00 Sign Zone: Who Do You Think You Are? 3.00 Antiques Roadshow 4.00 Dom’s On The Case: Dentists 4.45 Joins BBC News

6.00am – 9am Children’s television 9.00 Clifford’s Puppy Days 9.20 Balamory 9.40 Little Red Tractor 9.55 Pingu 10.00 In The Night Garden 10.30 Big Barn Farm 10.45 Get Squiggling 11.00 Fun With Phonics 11.10 Primary Geography: A Village In Bangladesh 11.20 Let’s Write Poetry 11.40 Around Scotland: The Jacobites 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Grand Prix Snooker 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts a general knowledge quiz. Really.

6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman returns with all the backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action from the world of Strictly Come Dancing.

7.00 Grand Prix Snooker 8.00 University Challenge In the first of the highest scoring loser matches, the students representing St John’s College Cambridge are up against Pembroke College Oxford.

8.30 What To Eat Now Seasonal food to make your mouth water. Who says you need wild strawberries in October?

9.00 Amazon With Bruce Parry Bruce Parry parties with the millionaires of Manaus, the Amazon’s biggest city, he lives and works with the illegal gold miners seeking their fortune and he sleeps in the forest canopy with the scientists.

10.00 Harry And Paul The final episode of the sketch series starring Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse.

10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Painted Babies: Growing Up Follow-up to Jane Treays’s acclaimed 1995 documentary about child beauty pageants.

12.20am Grand Prix Snooker Highlights 1.10 Grand Prix Snooker Extra 3.10 Joins BBC News 4.00 Music File

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish

6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Just Shoot Me 8.30 Just Shoot Me 8.55 Frasier 9.35 Princes In The Tower 11.25 Don’t Make Me Angry 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Miss Landmine 12.35 The Great Italian Escape 1.05 Chateau Monty 1.40 FILM: Guadalcanal Diary (1943) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Niall’s plan to abduct the McQueen children is interrupted.

This is getting more drawn out than when we had Toby the serial killer in Chester.

7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Frieze Films 2008: Road Movie 8.00 Dispatches: The Trouble With British Airways An investigation into British Airways, assessing the airline’s reputation following a series of blunders involving price-fixing, mislaid baggage and the troubled opening of Heathrow’s Terminal 5.

9.00 Shooting Of Thomas Hurndall Feature length drama telling the story of a British family’s search for the truth of what happened to their son, a 21-year-old photography student.

11.00 The Girl With Eight Limbs: A Bodyshock Special The story of two-year-old Lakshmi Tatma, the Indian girl born with extra limbs.

12.00am Party Poker Nations Cup 2008 1.00 Bennetts British Superbike Championship 1.50 Freesports 2.15 Iron Man 2.40 Dodge Urban Beach Tour 2008 3.05 KOTV Classics 2008 4.00 Alice Through The Looking Glass 5.25 What’s So Good About Jacqueline Wilson (x2) 5.55 Making It

6.00am – 9am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Grey’s Anatomy 12.30pm Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.05 FILM: Loving Evangeline (1998) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 10.00 LIVE Tennis: ATP Masters 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 Big League Weekend 7.30 LIVE Football League: League One 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.00 Big League Weekend 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.30 LIVE NFL 5.00 Wild Spirits

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Daz refuses to believe that Andy could hit Jo. Bob plans another attempt to break into the prison. Wrong way round, chum.

7.30 Coronation Street Kevin is alarmed to find that Sophie is in danger. Almost forgot there was a second Webster girl 8.00 EU Decide: Tonight With the government having reneged on its promise to hold a referendum on a new European constitution - despite most people wanting one - this show organises a poll in Luton to see if voters want to be in or out of Europe.

8.30 Coronation Street A desperate Kevin searches for Sophie.

9.00 Wired New three-part thriller exploring the high-risk world of bank fraud. Single mother Louise is betrayed by her best friend Anna, whose boyfriend tries to coerce her into taking part in a multi-million pound bank fraud.

10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Real Crime: The Cat And Mouse Killer True crime story.

11.35 Police, Camera, Action 12.30am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.00 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.55 Loose Women 2.45 Chef V Britain (x2) 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 Home And Away Doctors try to revive Martha after her collapse.

6.30 Lights, Camera, Animals Documentary series profiling some of the most famous animal actors in the world.

7.00 Five News 7.30 Top Trumps: All Terrain Vehicles Robert Llewellyn and Ashley Hames test their knowledge of extreme machines.

8.00 The Gadget Show Jason and Dallas take technology into the great outdoors; Jon Bentley reviews mediacentre PCs; and Suzi asks a celebrity dentist for her thoughts on electric toothbrushes. Bzzzzz.

9.00 Unbreakable Adventure series with explorer Benedict Allen in which eight intrepid volunteers undergo an onslaught of physical and mental pressure to be declared unbreakable.

In this instalment, the contenders learn some tough lessons in the Norwegian School of Winter Warfare.

10.00 Paul Merton In India See highlights.

11.05 FILM: Glory (1989) Starring Matthew Broderick, Denzel Washington, Morgan Freeman, Cary Elwes. Compelling true story of the first regiment of black soldiers in the American Civil War. 1.20am NFL 4.45 European Drag Racing 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 12.00pm XAdventures 12.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.00 Football 3.30 Test Cricket 5.00 NFL GameDay 6.30 NFL: Top Ten 7.30 LIVE Speedway 10.00 Spruce Meadows 11.00 NFL GameDay 12.30am Speedway 3.00 Big League Weekend 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 You’re On Sky Sports

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 XAdventures 7.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 8.00 X-Adventures 8.30 Darts: World Grand Prix 10.30 X-Adventures 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm NFL GameDay 1.30 NFL: Top Ten 2.30 X-Adventures 3.00 Darts: World Grand Prix 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Test Cricket 8.30 NFL GameDay 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky One

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

3.00pm Cold Case 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Hairspray: The School Musical 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Best Of Road Wars (x2) 11.00 Night Cops 12.00am Street Wars 1.00 Road Wars 1.50 Uncut!

British Sex 2.40 Caribbean Uncovered

7.00pm Spendaholics 7.30 Most Annoying Couples 8.30 The Real Hustle 9.00 Little Britain 9.30 Coming Of Age 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Massive 11.00 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.00am Most Annoying Couples 1.00 Coming Of Age 1.30 Massive 2.00 The Real Hustle

7.30pm Between The Lines: Railways In Fiction And Film 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 The Story Of Maths 10.00 Roman Polanski Wanted And Desired: Storyville 11.30 Monsoon Railway 12.20am Only Connect 12.50 The Story Of Maths 1.50 Between The Lines: Railways In Fiction And Film

4.30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5.20 The Montel Williams Show 6.05 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA See highlights 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.30 Coronation Street (x2) 11.30 FILM: Dante’s Peak (1997) 1.40am Haunted Homes 2.15 Teleshopping

4.00pm Daily Cooks Challenge 5.00 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.40 Heartbeat 6.50 The Wonder Years (x2) 7.50 PD James: Devices And Desires 9.00 Martina Cole’s Lady Killers 10.00 Lawless 11.30 PD James: Devices And Desires 12.40am PD James: Cover Her Face 1.40 Cadfael 3.00 Cagney And Lacey

11.50am Gilmore Girls 12.45pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 One Tree Hill 2.35 The OC 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Italian Job (2003) 11.10 FILM: Mean Machine (2001) 1.05am Scrubs (x2)

4.00pm A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.05 Grand Designs Revisited 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 Grand Designs 11.05 Without A Trace 12.05am The Closer 1.05 Relocation, Relocation

4.00pm Charmed (x2) 6.00 Australia’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 9.00 America’s Next Top Model 10.00 Lipstick Jungle 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Grey’s Anatomy 1.00 Will And Grace (x2) 2.00 America’s Next Top Model

UK TV Gold

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.20pm As Time Goes By 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances 5.40 Waiting For God 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Fawlty Towers (x2) 11.00 The Royle Family 11.40 Fawlty Towers (x2) 1.00am The Royle Family 1.40 The Dick Emery Show

5.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Two And A Half Men 12.20am Courting Alex 12.50 Becker 1.20 Becker 1.50 Linc’s 2.20 Courting Alex

6.00pm American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 American Chopper Special 9.00 American Chopper 10.00 Chop Shop 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Crime Scene Australia 1.00 A Haunting 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 American Chopper 3.50 My Shocking Story

11.00am Thunderbirds 12.05pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Landslide (2004) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Angel 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Medium 9.00 Eli Stone 10.00 FILM: Minority Report (2002) 12.40am FILM: Mega Snake (2004) 3.00 Angel

1.50pm Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969) 3.25 35mm 3.55 Julius Caesar (1970) 5.55 Sorry, Wrong Number (1948) 7.30 War Of The Worlds (1953) 9.00 The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) 11.05 Seconds (1966) 12.55am Cahill, United States Marshal (1973)

11.05am The Escapist (2001) 12.40pm Isolation (2005) 2.20 Little Children (2006) 4.40 Nina’s Heavenly Delights (2006) 6.20 Days Of Glory (2005) 8.25 Isolation (2005) 10.00 Little Children (2006) 12.20am Infamous (2006) 2.20 The Escapist (2001) 4.00 China’s Hollywood

1.00pm The Eve Of Saint Mark (1944) 2.55 Waterloo Road (1944) 4.25 Heaven Can Wait (1943) 6.45 Local Hero (1983) 9.00 The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) 11.05 Broken Arrow (1996) Christian Slater and John Travolta mislay a nuclear warghead. Opps! 1.15am Whisky (2004)

10.55am Mogambo (1953) 1.00pm Young Cassidy (1965) 3.00 The Swan (1956) 5.00 Mrs Brown, You’ve Got A Lovely Daughter (1968) 6.45 Lust For Life (1956) 9.00 Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid (1973) 11.20 Ryan’s Daughter (1970) 2.35am Green Dolphin Street (1947)

Classics

Indie