Latest Seven: Issue 398 11 Nov ­ 17 Nov

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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk

★ jobs ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 11 – 17 November 2008

FREE WEEKLY

coward’s comedy classic colin firth on easy virtue nothing like a dame the best christmas shows top of his game atul kochhar on spice

we’re off to see the wizard follow the yellow brick road as the wizard of oz comes to theatre royal brighton this christmas page 23


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Contents

Welcome

★ latest jobs 4-5

★ latest listings 21–45

4 Feeling unappreciated?

21 Reviews and listings index

It’s nearly pantomime season, but not all of our Sussex venues have chosen a traditional panto this year. The wide variety on offer means you could choose to watch a musical, ballet or bawdy romp. See our four-page feature (p23) to decide which Christmas shows you fancy seeing. Andrew Kay met one of his heroes recently – Atul Kochhar, the Michelin-starred chef who is transforming British ideas about Indian food. Atul, who was a storming success in the Great British Menu, is designing the food for Brighton’s Silk Ball. The glamorous event in aid of Rockinghorse, the children’s charity, takes place later this month. Find out how you can be there and read Andrew’s interview with Atul on page 10. I have just come back from a charity event in London; the Stonewall Awards which celebrate people who have made a positive difference to the lives of lesbian, gay and bisexual people in the last year. Find a full list of winners in Latest Gay (p36). Seth Lakeman is in Brighton next week for a gig at the Corn Exchange. Music editor Jeff Hemmings asked him about being at the forefront of the reinvention of folk (p32). If you’ve never been to Glyndebourne because you think it’s elitist, see Andrew’s reviews of three accessible shows (p27). Tickets start at just £7 or £14 seated. Feeling a little overweight in the run up to Christmas? Zara Baker looks at the benefits of laser lipo on the health page (p16). Did you see the thought-provoking adverts for Mankind, the men’s sexual abuse charity, in last week’s issue? Vicci Heaysman from Mankind has written to Latest 7 to explain the thinking behind the campaign (p14). If our Jaime is a girl after your own heart and you’re a dedicated clubber, read her review of Trash Mondays at Brighton Coalition (p33) and check out what’s on this week in club and music listings (p35). But if you feel like you’re getting a bit old for all that shenanigans, you’re not on your own. Alison has now officially retired from clubbing and has found a new, more sedate pastime. See her column on page 7. Mighty Boosh stars Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt are in Brighton this weekend and you can meet them. See kids and events (p31). On the same page, John Davies considers racial identity and movement in his review of Catch a Fish from the Sea, Nasreen Akhtar’s account of her search for a husband. Our film interview this week is with Colin Firth, who talks about his role in the movie of the Noel Coward classic Easy Virtue (p28). If you fancy getting a DVD in, Victoria Nangle has reviewed some of the best recent comedy releases (p30). Let us know if there’s anything you’d like us to cover letters@thelatest.co.uk

★ latest upfront 6–9 6 Social Diary and competitions: were you at the launch of StreetSmart?

7 Alison’s started a new affair 8 Sandra comes across a rude designer 8 J-Lo thinks she has problems: Dani doesn’t agree

9 CelebCity: Jo mingles with rock stars 10 Celeb interview: TV chef Atul Kochhar talks to Andrew, who then reviews the Indian chef’s Mayfair restaurant

★ latest news 12–14 12 News summary and Mary Mears 13 Phil Mills on the sex pest lurking in Hove and improving crime figures

14 Letters: Mankind’s hard-hitting ad campaign explained, plus Latest Sport on Lewis Hamilton

★ latest lifestyle 15–20

Seu Jorge and Martha Wainwright

22 Cover feature The best Christmas shows including Theatre Royal Brighton’s Wizard of Oz

27 Stage

09

Did you think Glyndebourne was elitist? Think again

28 Film Colin Firth on his role in Easy Virtue

30 Comedy Christmas lists ready? DVD reviews

30 Art A photographic study of Portslade

31 Books Catch a Fish from the Sea

31 Kids and events Mighty Boosh and Children in Need

32 Music Seth Lakeman and James Brighton Latest Download Chart

TOP

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35 Clubs and music listings 130 gigs and club nights

36 Gay 15 Bare Cheek: how will Brighton react to the credit crunch?

16 Health: would laser lipo work for you? 17 Hotlist: the city’s best eateries

The Stonewall Awards: heroes, villains and snappy dressers

38 Television Dani will never strip for Gok. Seven pages of listings.

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Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Business Director Angi Mariani

Editor Rachel Pegg

Creative Director Andrew Kay

Assistant Editor Zara Baker

Production Director Fiona McTernan

Website Manager Paul Burgess

Finance Manager Sharon Caple

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Designers Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer

Art Director Stephen King

Chief Sub Editor Alison Swann

Advertising Director Lynne Edwards

Production Manager Neil Ive

Listings Editor Nick Aldwinckle

Advertising Manager Marie Viviani

Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi

Advertising Sales Lucy Kamper Sophie Longhurst

Staff Writers Craig Driver Dani Winch

Administration Claire Peerless

Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

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Rachel Pegg Latest 7 Editor latest 7 3


004_005_LS398_jobads

11/6/08

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latest

jobs

Call Marie on 01273 818150 ext 102

Project Engineer (Mechanical Design Engineer) East Sussex – £27K Working within a busy product department of a manufacturing company within the oil and gas industry. The candidate will report to the Senior Design Engineer using AutoCAD 2004 to design and develop accessories going into pipelines used for monitoring corrosion, erosion and injecting chemical inhibitors.

CAD Draughtsperson

Technical Support Engineer East Sussex – £26k–£29k Successful applicant will be based in the oil and gas contract sales team and will work closely supporting the sales of the oil and gas products in the UK and global markets. Sufficient engineering exposure to understand basic engineering processes, materials and typical manufacturing processes. This role requires a sound working knowledge of the company's ERP system (EFACS) and the engineering knowledge required for BOM construction and its associated disciplines.

West Sussex – £20K–£27K

Production Planner

The position available is for a CAD Draughtsman reporting to the Structural Design Engineering Manager, and liaising with the Senior Lead Draughtsman on a day to day basis. The main purpose of the role will be involve playing a key part of the company’s design team. Duties will include technical draughting using 3D design package Solidworks.

West Sussex – £25–£28K

Production Engineer Newhaven – £27k Working as a member of the manufacturing team to monitor, develop, evaluate and continuously improve manufacturing processes through the application of Lean Manufacturing Principles, thereby achieving the company’s performance targets in terms of quality, delivery, cost and safety. Manufacturing areas covered are assembly, powder paint plant, wet paint and internal machining processes.

A good understanding of Lean Manufacturing techniques, with an in-depth knowledge of working with MRP and/or MPS systems. Managing and maintaining the Master Production Scheduling (MPS) system for manufacturing and materials planning. Recommending changes to manufacturing orders with regard to batch quantities, forecast and lead times to meet customer orders. Identifying abnormal orders and communicating this to other departments in a timely manner. Ensuring effective control of inventory to meet company objectives.

Assistant Hotel Manager

operational standards to the highest possible level in respect of service, hygiene, health and safety and ensure there is minimal wastage. Lead and motivate staff to encourage maximum commitment and efficient service.

Call Centre Agents Brighton – £7.00–£11.00ph Are you target driven and motivated by money? If you have a confident telephone manner and enjoy earning lots of money, we are looking for full time call centre agents to join an established lively team. The company is based in the heart of Brighton and offers a fun and lively environment.

Hotel Restaurant Manager/ Deputy Manager East Sussex £25K–£26K Managing the hotel restaurant, which will include the conference and banqueting facilities as well as the bar and cellar. The restaurant has three rosettes and there are seven full time employees and several casual employees. Shifts would be generally covering lunch and dinner but depending on the level of business. Duty Management would also be required and to deputise in the absence of the General Manger.

East Sussex – £14k per annum

Office Administrator/Co-ordinator

Assisting the Food and Beverage Manager and General Manager with the running of the bars and conference and banqueting departments. Ensuring that the highest standards and service are provided and that profitability is maximised. Deal with complaints/problems politely and positively and make every effort to resolve them. Maintain

East Sussex £17K Duties will include processing of all paperwork, invoices, arranging deliveries, answering the telephones & providing general administration support to the team. Ideally the successful candidate would have worked within a similar position and be able to work on their own initiative.

PUBLIC NOTICE THE LICENSING ACT 2003 (PREMISES LICENCES AND CLUB PREMISES CERTIFICATES) REGULATIONS 2005 Regulation 25 Notice TO : WHOM IT MAY CONCERN Lettings Manager

Brighton

Our clients are an established two-branch independent firm of estate agents currently looking for a Lettings Manager in their Western Road offices. The existing team consists of two Letting Negotiators plus a Property Manager so you have a supportive team who will look up to the manager to lead by example, motivate and encourage. The successful candidate should have good legal knowledge of lettings, preferably ARLA qualified and local market knowledge. Working hours are 8.45am-6pm, five day working week with a day off in lieu if you work Saturday, 20 days holiday per annum plus eight bank holidays per year. There are two pool cars which can be used during the day. OTE £24,000 + incentive scheme on office performance. Contact us now for further details.

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4 latest jobs

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I Erdal Ates, do hereby give notice that it is my intention to apply to Brighton & Hove City Council in the county of East Sussex for the variation of a premises licence or club premises certificate to use or permit the use of premises known as Delight Kebab, 15 Preston Road Brighton BN1 4QE for the following licensable proposed variation which it is proposed will be carried on, on or from the premises: To extend opening hours from 23.00-24.00 to 03.00am Fridays and Saturdays *In the case of an application for a provisional statement, representations are restricted after the issue of a provisional statement Any person who desires to make a representation to the variation, should send to Assistant Director, Public Safety, Health & Safety and Licensing, Bartholomew House, Bartholomew Square, Brighton, BN1 1PJ no later than 27th November, a brief written statement of the grounds of his/her objection. The register and records of applications may be viewed at the above council office during normal office hours; summaries are available via www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/licensing. It is an offence knowingly or recklessly to make a false statement in connection with an application and the maximum fine for which a person is liable on summary conviction for the offence is currently £5000 [level 5]. Dated this: 31st October, day of Friday, 2008

web www.lca-jobs.com

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7/11/08

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latest

Call Marie on 01273 818150 ext 102

jobs

Top Media Jobs Producer – Black Rock Studio Black Rock Studio, formerly known as Climax Racing, was established in early 2000 with the goal of becoming the industry's premier racing studio. They are seeking an experienced Producer / Project Manager to join the team who are developing an unannounced arcade racing game on Xbox 360 & PS3.

Software Test Analyst – Madgex Ltd We are Madgex: experts in job board technology software and user engagement. Our client base already includes: The Guardian, The Totaljobs Group, News International, Emap and Haymarket. We’re seeking a software test analyst and offer an excellent salary for the right person.

Business Systems Analyst – Madgex Ltd We need someone to join our organically growing team of high class individuals as a Business Systems Analyst working with the sales team to provide pre-sales business and technical systems analysis for input to proposals and with the project manager post-sale to create the software specification.

Technical Analyst – Madgex Ltd The technical analyst position involves analysing client requirements, the ability to up sell new suggestions to clients and increase scope of work and to identify patterns in requests. Madgex offers a highly competitive salary and benefits package.

Marketing Executive (p/t) – Semantico Semantico is looking for an experienced, well-organised marketing professional to help take it onto the next stage of development though implementation of its ambitious B2B marcomms plan. The position is part time, three days per week, with potential to become a full-time position as the company develops.

Part-time Designer – Club Penguin UK Club Penguin is the fastest growing virtual world where kids gather to play games, interact with friends and let their imaginations soar. They’re seeking a bilingual (French and English) designer, responsible for creating layouts, while following established design standards.

Web Developer – Zerofiftyone Limited Zerofiftyone are a well established, full service Advertising and PR Agency. We are looking to recruit a talented Web Developer to join our team. With at least one year’s commercial experience, you will have a sound understanding of web technologies.

DBA / Developer SQL Server – DC Storm DC Storm offers StormIQ™ an integrated web analytics and PPC optimisation solution offering cutting edge tracking and reporting. The role is split 60/40 DBA/development: Your superb DBA skills will keep the databases rolling while your ingenuity, ideas and development skills will work towards optimising and automating maintenance, robustness, and expansion of our systems.

Are you looking to recruit? Are you looking to expand your digital media business and recruit new staff? Wired Sussex can help. Our jobs board is viewed by over 10,000 digital media hopefuls every month, plus all job posters get to search through our CV database. Interested? Call Luke at Wired Sussex today to find out more: 01273 692 888

thelatest.co.uk

latest jobs 5


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11/7/08

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LATESTDIARY

COMPETITIONS

latestdiary

Men’s accessories launch

With Tim Richardson StreetSmart initiative On Wednesday 29 October 2008 at Terre à Terre, StreetSmart launched their annual initiative to tackle homelessness at Christmas and is calling on Brighton’s restaurants for support. The StreetSmart scheme is now in its eighth year in Brighton and Hove and is looking to build on its previous success, having raised more than £13,000 last year alone and almost £75,000 since it started in the city. During November Philip Taylor (Terre a Terre), Alison Ali, and December, at participating restaurants Glenn Pougnet (Street Smart), Amanda Powley (Terre a Terre) across Brighton and Hove, a voluntary £1 is added to the table bill at the end of each meal. At the end of the Christmas period the restaurants pass on the total money raised to StreetSmart, who use the money to support reputable charities across Brighton. Some of the high-profile restaurants taking part this year include: Indian Summer, Food for Friends, Momma Cherri’s, Terre à Terre, Due South, Seven Dials Restaurant and The Hanbury Club.

On Thursday 30 October 2008, Brighton-based men’s accessories store denisonboston, the men’s accessory brand for the contemporary gentleman, launched their autumn/winter collection and celebrated their fifth birthday at the new showroom studio located at 9A&B Eaton Grove, Hove. The collection fuses the denisonboston signature combination of modernist forms, pattern, stainless steel and hand-enamelled detailing with stylish innovative packaging and strong simple branding. The celebrations continued well into the evening with champagne and nibbles served up by the girls from Mischief Promotions and on the decks supplying the music was Pippa Knowles from Baroque Bespoke Jewellery.

Amy Black, Louisa McKellen, Tina Cramp, Vanessa Hood

IN IT TO WIN IT New DVDs and signed books The Mighty Boosh

Jewel

America Live in Chicago In a unique and intimate performance from the legendary band, this new DVD features a 20song set, including the smash hits ‘A Horse With No Name,’ ‘Ventura Highway,’ and ‘I Need You.’ To win one of two copies on DVD tell us: America burst onto the music scene in which decade? A 1950s, B 1970s, C 1990s

to watch

Chris Isaak

to read

Jewel: The Essential Live Songbook, is a to beautiful two-disc DVD package from American singer-songwriter Jewel. Stunning live performances showcase hits such as ‘You Were Meant For Me’, ‘Intuition’ and ‘Hands’. To win one of two copies of this DVD pack, tell us: Where does Jewel hail from? A UK, B Ireland, C USA

6 latest 7

Sara Darling, Emily Thatcher

Ella-Mae Overington, Sophie Moore, Anni Best (Mischief Promotions)

Alison Ali and Glenn Pougnet (Street Smart) holding the Street Smart board with supporters

The Mighty Boosh aka Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt will be signing copies of The Mighty Book of Boosh to coincide with a sell-out show at the Brighton Centre this week. If you can’t make it, Latest 7 have five signed copies of the book up for grabs. Just tell us: On what channel did The Mighty Boosh first air? A ITV, B BBC3, C Ch5

Jon Boston (Denison Boston), Debs Simpson (Forward PR)

Get in the Christmas spirit with this new DVD Chris Isaak Christmas, featuring special guests Stevie Nicks, Brian McKnight and Michael Buble. Christmas favourites include: ‘Santa Claus Is Coming To Town’ and the timeless ‘White Christmas’. To win one of two copies of this festive DVD, tell us: What instrument is Chris Isaak well known for playing? A Guitar, B Keyboard, C Drums

to watch

watch To win, email: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the prize you wish to win in the subject box. Leave your answer to the question in the body of the email. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: Monday 17 November


007_LS398_Alison/xword

11/6/08

10:12 AM

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See more at thelatest.co.uk

Swanning around Alison Swann has decided that clubbing is out and comedy is in

Having a laugh I made a decision at the weekend, I am too old to go clubbing. I can go to gigs; I can go to comedy clubs; I can go to restaurants, and if I really need to dance, I can go to the club on the seafront that is referred to as ‘pull a pensioner night,’ but my clubbing days are well and truly over and I for one am relieved. This is down to me, there’s not some age barrier at the club door. I have recently discussed this with various friends of the same age group (late thirties) – all of whom have completed the full course when it comes to stating that you too were once a ’clubber.’ You have to have spent more than one year of your life coming home after six o’clock in the morning and have at least a week’s worth of days in your head where you have absolutely no idea what happened – but you know you had a bloody amazing time. Even if all you can remember about it was driving round the M25 packed into the back of some random bloke’s car who insisted on playing Robert Miles’s ‘Children‘ so many times it felt like a scene out of Groundhog Day.

“I blagged my way into a club where I’d heard rumours that Debbie Harry would be performing” Okay, I know older people go clubbing and when I was younger I was awestruck and respectful of the people who were nudging forty or fifty and still out there ‘throwing their shapes‘ around the dance floor. And I still think yeah, go for it. But it’s not for me. In many respects it was a fantastic time in my life and I was slimmer than I have ever been. But it was always part of an adventure that I took to with huge gusto when I was younger, and like that well-worn cliché – all good things must come to an end. I have seen the most amazing and extraordinary sights in my clubbing ‘career’, most of which are far too er, hmm, ‘leftfield’ to get through my editor’s button to be detailed within the pages of this magazine. Although one I can let slip – and I have always wanted to chuck out in print – was when I blagged my way into a club in Manhattan, where I’d heard

rumours that Debbie Harry would be performing that night. It was a tiny ‘alternative‘ club called Mother in the meatpacking district, which has now had a right scrub and wash up but at the time wasn’t quite so shiny and new. More dark, dingy and fabulous. She did appear, tottering out onto a tiny stage, where she removed most of her clothes and acted out a rather ‘alternative’ version of Miss Saigon. I do have photos to prove this and it has sometimes nagged at me why I’ve never sold them to the tabloids, when I’m scrabbling around trying to work out how much extra money I need to get those red letters to stop coming through the door. But hey, it was part of my clubbing journey and it just would be a rubbish thing to do. But if you are nice to me and want ever to see them, well I might show you one day. Oh and in case you are wondering… She was fantastic! As I pack up my dancing shoes for good it all ties in quite nicely with my new love affair with comedy clubs. Brighton has an extraordinary number of brilliant comedy nights and a hugely vibrant scene, which until I started comedy school recently, I really didn’t know. You’re all it! So, much like when I discovered the joy of clubbing, I have fallen in love good and hard and now it’s time for a new affair – bring it on.

Comments? Get in touch: alison@thelatest.co.uk

latestcrossword Cryptic 169 ACROSS 5 Body of man viewed from behind (4) 7 Chap who can make Hans mingle (10) 8 Remain in support (4) 10 Shape hood with brim design (8) 11 Sickly end of Basque in revolution, say (6) 12 It's right to sit in Prime Minister's fireplace (6) 14 Creature involved with religious group (6) 16 Band of fifty involved in Christmas song arrangement (6) 17 Errand that leaves nothing has something missing (8) 19 A smart fellow (4) 21 Choose the pouch of a thief (10) 22 Source of irritation for headless dog (4)

solutions on page 36

Quick 169 DOWN 1 The man's got an eyepiece (4) 2 Friend or partner seen after the performance (8) 3 Half zoo's food is for a bird (6) 4 Hairless Frenchman gripped by truth (6) 5 Upside-down cakes get the rebuff (4) 6 Law man, wise men and good man are above value (10) 9 Somehow meant to run in competition (10) 13 Everything that is split can turn in to union (8) 15 Involuntary movement made by sorceress after torture begins (6) 16 Appetiser that's capable of attracting monkey (6) 18 Hops brewed for the student (4) 20 Dainty girl, so it's said (4)

ACROSS 5 Twirl (4) 7 Road feature (10) 8 Saucy (4) 10 Like a crow's bill (8) 11 Scribble (6) 12 Spaceship (6) 14 Participant (6) 16 Beast (6) 17 Loosened fragments (8) 19 Fitting (4) 21 Uniformly dull (10) 22 Assist (4)

DOWN 1 Seasonal yield (4) 2 Not stable (8) 3 Package (6) 4 Repugnance (6) 5 Daze (4) 6 Uneducated (10) 9 Greatness (10) 13 American squirrel (8) 15 Sailor (6) 16 Debtor's property (6) 18 Hind quarters (4) 20 Examination (4)

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008_LS398_model city/dani

11/4/08

2:24 PM

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EMOTIONS

STYLE

Model city

Dani’s diary

Sandra Omo looks at the attitude problems some designers can have

Dani describes the true effects of suffering a nervous breakdown

This week, for the first time, I found myself saying no to a designer. There was nothing personal about it, I just knew from the moment this student designer walked into the changing room that I would not be modelling any of her props. It started with her attitude towards another model who she treated like a piece of crap. We were backstage at a fashion show that was due to begin in a couple of hours, trying on and fitting clothes. Yes, as you can guess from the time frame, it was a little show put together in a hurry to boost the profile of a yearly exhibition that is still in its infant stage. No one was being paid for this, so it was a good gesture to assist one another, as well as to boost the young designers’ profiles as they were unknown. I chose to do it because the agent organising it, who is also a friend, required my presence, plus the fact that one of my parents is from the country the exhibition was organised in. As we tried on clothes backstage, a model went up to this designer, as is the custom when fitting, and asked if she had anything she wanted her to wear. But this student looked at the model with disgust and said, “I didn’t choose you. I have to choose you first and I have not chosen you, so I do not need you.” Now the words were not the problem, it was the disgust with which she said them. The model was embarrassed but still said “OK” as she walked away.

“Even the super-designers do not treat models like rubbish so why should anyone else?” The same student walked over to me, tossed a dress at me and said: “You try this on.” Now, that dress was inappropriate for the show as it was a family exhibition – why did the models have to be half-naked? In addition, I just didn’t want to model any dress for this particular student because of her attitude, so I took it off, handed it back to her and said: “Sorry, I can not wear this.” She was gutted but I did not care. The show went on fine, and I got the fulfilment from doing my quota to assist. I am a professional model and not the type that will ever get into a fuss with a designer. This was a show put together to help the students build their profiles. If you are going start treating the models like crap now, what will you do if you ever get to the level of Versace and the rest? The truth is that the super-designers do not treat models like rubbish so why should anyone else? I have heard countless models complain about ill-treatment many times. I have even heard and seen some myself, and each time I wonder why some designers have to behave like this. Is it insecurity or the tension of backstage? I have no idea. But I am proud that despite all of this, models do their jobs professionally and do not necessarily have to stoop down to replying in the same manner. Then I ask myself how far will these designers go with an attitude like this? The answer is: not far at all. That explains why there is no such behaviour among successful designers. 8 latest 7

Jennifer Lopez admitted to having a nervous breakdown in 2002. It happened while she was in her trailer filming a movie (one that was undoubtedly rubbish). This is what she said happened: “I was like: ‘I don’t want to move. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to do anything.’” Apparently, after she didn’t want to move, her bodyguard took her to a doctor where she refused pills and was told simply to “Go home and go to bed.” She said: “He told me to go back to work on Monday after a weekend of sleeping. So that’s what I did.” Wow! Jennifer Lopez not only has everything she wants but her nervous breakdown lasted one weekend! Excellent, good for her – what a load of bull. It sounds to me (and I’m no doctor) that she was simply suffering from exhaustion. When you have a nervous breakdown you are hit with all of the following in one fell swoop: heart palpitations; diaphoresis or perspiration; trembling or tremors; dyspnea; hyperventilation; chills; hot flushes; nausea; abdominal pain or abdominal cramping; chest pain; headaches; dizziness; light-headedness; faintness; tightness in the throat; tunnel vision; trouble swallowing; a sense of impending death; and feeling like one is experiencing a myocardial infarction (a heart attack). You do not freeze up and think to yourself, ‘I do not want to move’ and then have a lie down and feel better. I had my nervous breakdown two years ago and I still feel all of the symptoms listed above every time I have to leave the house, every time I have to get on a bus, every time my phone rings, every time I go further than my regular place at lunch, every time I stay somewhere that isn’t my room, every time I go out of an evening.

“I am quite a convincing little actress and I can hide it quite well. That is until I get home” You get the message, it is all the time. Not just occasionally – constantly! I am quite a convincing little actress and I can hide it quite well. That is until I get home and then I want nothing more than to sit quietly and build up some of the energy it took to force myself through the day. Some days are better than others. That’s a general fact. And you will never be fully rid of these horrible feelings. You could have a run of a few days of feeling OK and then it all hits you again – and again and again. The fact that people like Jennifer Lopez claim to have had nervous breakdowns and describe them like they do makes it a lot harder for people who genuinely have suffered and are still suffering with either a panic attack or panic disorder to explain it to other people. Firstly they think that because there are no obvious outward symptoms then there can’t be anything wrong. If you do manage to convince them that something is wrong, they either ask if there are any tablets you can take, tell you to go and get help or think the whole thing can be solved by eating more vegetables and having a cuddle. Some people experience different things when having a nervous breakdown. But none of it can be solved by having a relaxing weekend or a lie down!

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009_LS398_celebcity

11/7/08

12:13 PM

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AROUNDTOWN

sponsored by

Celebcity with Jo Brooks

Rock legends Jo joins local tailor Gresham Blake for a designer star-studded night with rock ‘n’ roll greats I received a phone call from celebrity tailor Gresham Blake and his wife Fal, inviting me along to the Classic Rock Awards. The metal gongs were organised by Classic Rock magazine (apparently these metal gurus sell more copies than the NME), and were held at the lesser known Park Lane Hotel. Gresham, no stranger to rock stars, was a sponsor of the event, and had also designed some of the suits that organisers donned on the night. After drinks at the trendier Met Bar, we made our way to the hotel entrance and fought our way through the paps to a welcoming glass of champagne. The foyer was filled with a who’s who of rock legends, including Whitesnake frontman, David Coverdale, Primal Screamers – Bobby Gillespie and Mani, Slash from Guns N’ Roses and now more recently Velvet Revolver, legendary promoter Harvey Goldsmith, Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood, Jeff Beck and another Brighton resident – Gary Moore. Last to arrive – and followed by cameras galore was Ozzy Osbourne and wife Sharon, who was picking up a living legend award. We then sat down to a slap up three course dinner, checked out the goody bag and then settled down the ceremony, introduced by pint-sized broadcaster Nicky Horne. The winners included the Foo Fighters, who won Band of the Year and flamboyant Kiss guitarist Paul Stanley, who was crowned showman of the year. Other recipients included Harvey Goldsmith, Ronnie Wood, Whitesnake, Led Zeppelin and Kings of Leon. On our table were rock legends Ronnie Wood and his son Jessie plus guitar legend, Jeff Beck, and sitting next to me was Classic Rock editor Sian Llewellyn, who gave me a running commentary on all the rock gossip! Ronnie left new girlfriend, 20-year-old Ekaterina Ivanova, at home, which went down like a lead balloon with the paparazzi. During the dinner, Ronnie, who has given up alcohol, ordered several espressos and glasses of coke – while son Jessie tucked into the complimentary pints of Guinness. The ceremony also celebrated the tenth anniversary of Classic Rock magazine. Editor in chief Scott Rowley made a speech at the top of the awards and said the rock scene was in rude health: “The Classic Rock Roll of Honour is a celebration of rock music as the most vital and vibrant genre of music.” Can’t say fairer than that Scott!

To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com

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11/7/08

1:54 PM

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CELEBRITYINTERVIEW

Spice world Whether he’s waking up our senses on Saturday Kitchen or beating Gary Rhodes in the south east heat of the Great British Menu, Atul Kochhar is one celebrity chef to watch out for. Andrew Kay caught up with him as he prepares for his stint at the annual Silk Ball in aid of local children’s charity Rockinghorse

Will you be working with the team at the Hilton Metropole? Yes, I will going down to Brighton and on the day I will be taking some of my team to work alongside them. Some of the chefs will also be coming to Benares to do training and to get a feel for what we do here. So will you be cooking on the night? I will oversee the entire meal, but I will be joining the guests and enjoying eating the meal. Will the chefs be able embrace the essence of your kitchen? I am sure they will, the head chef came to see me and he was very professional. I do not see any problem. You have recently achieved prominence on TV, has that changed the people who come to your restaurant? People that came before still come, but it has brought in a lot of new customers, it has been very good for business and opened new doors. Does it take you out of the kitchen more than you would like? Yes, but not too much, it is an important part of the business strategy.

Atul Kochhar is at the top of his game; his Mayfair restaurant Benares has one Michelin star, his Hampshire restaurant is already getting great notices and since the Great British Menu he is a top choice for television. When Rockinghorse, the Sussex children’s medical charity, decided on an Eastern theme for its annual fundraising ball, it ambitiously approached Atul for help. The ball’s organisers were stunned when Atul generously agreed to design the menu free of charge and provide expert advice to the venue’s chefs who will be preparing the meal.

You have recently opened a restaurant in Hampshire called Vatika Yes, I will be cooking there at least two nights every week, it is very exciting and already selling out at weekends.

How were you approached to create the menu for the Silk Ball? By email, it outlined the good work that Rockinghorse does for sick children. I personally had experience of this as my daughter was extremely ill when she was born, it was very close to my own heart. I know what parents go through and at that point it turned my life around. I knew then that any opportunity that came for me to work for children or with children I would take. I said yes immediately.

Britain is now exploring regionality in Indian cuisine Yes, this is true, only 20 years ago there were perhaps less than 20 Southern Indian restaurants. Now we are looking across the continent. I sensed the public embraced your food because it was different, they weren’t going to make it at home – unlike the British chefs My food came across as more exotic – yes, it has a very rich spice heritage, it’s a different technique.

On the Great British Menu was there a resistance to your dishes? Yes, there was but I did not mind. I feel that the Indian food that I make is a result of a partnership between our two countries for 400 years. After independence that tie remained and the cuisine blossomed. This is the only country outside India where curry is really understood.

‘‘What is your favourite ingredient? ‘My wife’ ‘In the kitchen?’ ‘Oh, everywhere!”

Are the English afraid of spice? Not frightened just unfamiliar with the techniques needed to use them in the way that I do. There is a British macho thing about eating the hottest curry Yes, but it is madness, a mania, a real nuisance, chilli as a spice has a wonderful flavour that is what people need to know.

Is there an expectation in a Michelin-starred restaurant that ingredients will be expensive? I think there is but I want people to know that it does not have to be expensive, just prime, honest and at the top of its season. Michelin is more interested in skill. Do you have a favourite ingredient? My wife. And in the kitchen? Oh, wherever (laughter). Seriously, coriander. And a food vice? Smoked cheese, I have recently discovered it and I am up for it at all times. And the menu for Brighton? Oh that I am keeping a secret, I want it to be a real surprise!

Andrew Kay was invited to meet chef Andrew Kochhar and eat at his Mayfair restaurant Benares in the run up to the Rockinghorse Silk Ball. The ball, with a bespoke menu designed by Kochhar, will take place at the Hilton Brighton Metropole hotel on Saturday 29 November. Money raised will go towards Rockinghorse’s work to provide medical equipment and services for children across the county, particularly at Brighton’s Royal Alexandra Children’s Hospital. Tickets are £95 and include a drinks reception, a delicious three-course dinner with wine, and an evening packed with entertainment, live music and dodgems. Call 01273 730286 or email events@rockinghorse.org.uk

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If you would like to comment on this story please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk


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11/7/08

2:05 PM

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CELEBRITYINTERVIEW It’s been a full week since I stepped over the threshold of Benares in Berkeley Square at the very heart of Mayfair. It’s my old stomping ground and I know the area well. You can easily sum it up with the word ‘posh‘. And for many that word gives off a warning, posh can mean elitist, unfriendly snobbish and above all expensive. Sometimes that is appropriate but I very soon discover that at Benares it is far from the truth. There is no denying that this is a very sophisticated, very grown-up, very smart restaurant indeed. But unfriendly – certainly not, the welcome is huge and generous. And expensive? No, not for cooking of this calibre and in these surroundings. I am here to interview the chef, who in the last two years has become a household name after his many appearances on TV. We chat, but he is eager to get back to his kitchen and I do wonder how many of his fellow TV chefs do that, actually still cook. Luckily he leaves me with his delightful assistant Davinia to share lunch. I have craved tasting this man’s food since I first watched him making the other competing chefs on the Great British Menu look like rabbits caught in the headlights. There is a calm focus to him that at times makes him seem cold and slightly aloof. In the flesh he is nothing of the kind, he is warm, open and friendly, and he likes a joke. I sort of want him to stay and eat with us, but at the same time I want to know he is in the kitchen too. I note the fact that Davinia is as excited as I am about choosing lunch, obviously the staff don’t get to dine from the a la carte menu every day of the week. While we read the menu the waiter delivers tiny papads and four exquisite chutneys. I almost drain the pot of gooseberry and the tomato and ginger is severely dented. And what a menu, how do you choose? I could have done it with a pin, there was simply nothing that I would not have liked to try. I asked Davinia for advice but she was in the same position. In the end she had the Tandoori Ratan and I had the Karara Kekda, soft shell crab and squid salad. Now don’t be mislead by the tandoori tag, yes he uses a tandoor and yes the major influence on his food comes from the complex spicing of his native India, but this is no curry house. There is no curry as such on the menu. This is modern British cuisine and I wish there were more of it. Her dish comprised of lamb, a huge nugget of chicken and a massive prawn. It’s no mean dish, as big as many a main course in other ‘starred’ restaurants. My crab is sublime, crisp outside, the spiced coating fine and delicate but with real definition of flavour, and the cooking is precise, the flesh inside remains soft and sweet. The squid is equally great, tiny rings in the crispest coating are tender as chicken fillet, extraordinarily good and again generous. A plum sauce on the side is perfectly balanced. Davinia moves on to Tawa Jingha, giant prawns dusted with curry leaf and served with a deep red tomato and onion sauce. It looks wonderful and I gaze in envy until my Gosht Ki Pasliyan arrives. Kentish lamb cutlets, almost two inches thick have been infused with fennel before cooking in the tandoor. The meat is amazingly tender and sweet, the spicing once again defined but not masking the rich animal flavours and there are three of them. I cannot believe my luck. The chops are served with a salad of rocket, which is studded with goats cheese, olives and semi-dried tomatoes. A simple mint sauce to one side is great and I dip into it, but not with every morsel. It’s a princely dish and utterly satisfying on all levels. We also ordered the bread basket and we make light work of a flat bread stuffed with cauliflower and one flavoured with saffron. In fact I could eat that saffron bread every day for the rest of my life and I doubt I would become bored of it.

“I could eat that saffron bread every day for the rest of my life and doubt I would become bored” Satisfied already, and more than content, I agree to study the dessert menu. It is of course fatal, once seen I have to try, and fortunately so does Davinia so I don’t feel quite so greedy. We both choose a warm carrot and pistachio wrap with lemon grass ice cream. Wow! I know, not a lot of detail there, but again I say it, wow. With lunch we had a glass of excellent rosé each and after sipped mint tea which came with tiny petit fours, once of which I would kill for the recipe for, sweet, crisp, then suddenly dissolving and leaving the mouth tasting of excellent curd cheese, quite brilliant. There are no prices on the website but do not be afraid, my dishes came to £42.40, half the price of a good West End theatre ticket and a fraction compared to the quarter of a million pounds being asked for a Rolls Royce next door. That makes Atul’s artistry seem like a bargain. I could also have eaten for much less had I had the £25 lunch menu. This is cooking of the highest order using ingredients sourced to the same level, and Atul is the nightingale that now sings in Berkeley Square. Benares, 12a Berkeley Square House, Berkeley Square, London W1J 6BS Call 0207 7629 8886 www.benaresrestaurant.co.uk latest 7 11


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11/7/08

1:23 PM

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LATESTNEWS

news summary

7 days of headlines

A dentist is offering free health checks to mark Mouth Cancer Action week at Dental Health Spa in Queen’s Road, Brighton between 18 and 20 November. Mouth cancer kills one person every five hours in the UK, more than cervical and testicular cancer combined. Survival rates are 90 percent with early detection but 50 percent once the cancer spreads. Registration has opened for Brighton Festival Fringe. Performers and promoters who want to be part of the world’s third biggest Fringe festival need to sign up before 9 February. It is thought the 2009 Fringe will eclipse Fringe 2008, when more than 100,000 tickets were sold and events ranged from a poetry brothel to Moscow State Circus. Effigies of the United States presidential candidates and Uncle Sam were burned at Lewes Bonfire Night. The event last Wednesday attracted an estimated 50,000 people, despite organisers advising people from outside the town not to come.

Inspiration The election of Barack 200 people at Hove’s Obama could change the Old Market at a party face of British politics, a organised by Celia local campaigner has Barlow, MP for Hove said. Simon Burgess, and Portslade. The Labour prospective victory, he said, was parliamentary candidate for very emotional, particularly Brighton Kemptown, said the seeing the psychological effect it landslide victory could impact on had on African American the behaviour of both politicians communities. Ms Barlow said: and voters. He said: “In politics “I'm absolutely delighted that we often focus on a few swing Barack Obama will be the 44th voters in a few swing areas. President of the United States.” This shows us we don't have to keep Celia Barlow and Simon Burgess narrowing down. celebrating the US election result We can engage a lot more people. Globally we can start thinking outside the box and not just narrow down to those in a few critical areas.” Mr Burgess spent ten days last month in the United States campaigning on Obama’s behalf. He heard Michelle Obama give a speech and thought she was one of the best political speakers he had come across. Mr Burgess watched the election with

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NEWS

Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on the importance of history On the 11th day of the 11th month, I always stop, remember and give thanks to those who have fallen defending democracy in foreign lands. Last week I attended a Remembrance ceremony at Whitehawk primary school. It’s crucial that we teach children about the lessons of history, and the sacrifices that the sons and daughters of Brighton and Hove have made fighting for all our futures. Remembrance is a small demonstration of our gratitude. But, I think we also owe it to those brave souls, who fought so valiantly, to celebrate what we have now and to build a better future. To do this we must invest in our young people, and nurture their skills. At the city council, we try hard to foster creative talent. Through the Arts Commission we support art in the city and over the last two years we’ve channelled over £1m of additional funds into the arts, produced over 1,600 performances and 300 new projects for the city, attracted audiences totalling over 300,000 and involved over 5,000 artists. I think our efforts are paying off and while I’ve always known that Brighton and Hove is a city packed full of creative talent, last night I saw a particularly impressive example of these efforts with Brighton Youth Orchestra’s beautiful performance at the Royal Albert Hall. Promoting the arts in our schools is important to me. It’s great that the council’s backing helps our most talented youngsters to perform in famous venues – but it’s also about giving the children who haven’t yet realised their potential to fully develop their talents. We must give every child the confidence to see futures they hadn’t before thought possible.

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A community radio station is looking for more people to get involved. Radio Reverb wants to hear from anyone with an idea for a show. Their criteria is: if you can hear it on another radio station, they are not likely to be interested. Apart from that, they are open to ideas for specialist interest shows and there are no hard and fast rules. The station aims to reflect the cultural diversity of Brighton in its talk and music programmes. Commissions will be decided by a panel including a board member and a member of the management team, a listener and guest curator Lee Gooding, senior production tutor at Sussex University. Apply before 1 December at www.radioreverb.com

Picture courtesy of The Royal British Legion

Always on my mind

Get on the radio

Helping our children develop their creative talents is about more than putting on a good show or keeping people entertained. Over 10 percent of all the jobs in the city are in the creative industries. So increasing these opportunities is vital for our economic future and has the knock-on effect of boosting jobs and growth. I know that if the council continues to succeed in promoting opportunities the children I saw in Whitehawk primary school will have a brighter future – the sort of future the country’s fallen heroes fought for.

If you would like to comment on these stories please email news@thelatest.co.uk


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11/5/08

12:04 PM

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LATESTNEWS Phil Mills reports on promising local crime statistics and a doe deer that is leader of the pack

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NEWS

Crime success Chief Superintendent Paul Pearce this week completes his first 18 months as commander of Brighton and Hove police – and what a watch it has been. He’s not taking full credit for it but during the same period, the city has seen a dramatic fall in crime and massive increase in crime detection. In an exclusive interview with Latest 7, Mr Pearce tells of his targets reached and his commitment to the future.

“I and my team are committed to giving the public a more local, accessible and accountable service” He said policing was a complicated business but, like a peeled onion, it has a simple core: “Making people safer and making people feel safer.” He said: “Making people safer is about us taking responsibility for preventing crime, and where it is committed, detecting it. Reported crime in Brighton and Hove has dropped from an annual figure of 32,500 18 months ago to below 26,000 today. “The detection rate rose from less than one in five crimes reported to us to one in three. There is no doubt that in terms of making people safer the police, working together with partner agencies, are succeeding.” But Chf Supt Pearce said reducing crime does not always translate into a greater feeling of safety. In the 1980s and 1990s, the police lost sight of how important a visible presence was for making people feel safe, while national targets concentrated on easily measured crime that took officers off the streets. He said: “The police and the government, which imposed the targets, have recognised this and we are now investing heavily in visible neighbourhood policing. This means putting a policing presence back into communities with a named contact who people can engage with and talk about local problems. “This is proving to be popular with communities in Sussex but we must continue to balance what people tell us they want from their

police against the things that we as professionals know that we must deal with. “At neighbourhood meetings, issues such as child abuse, internet crime, human trafficking and even terrorism are never raised as local issues, but these are areas into which we must put significant effort. We understand what the causes of crime in the city are, so while we are seeking to increase our visible presence in communities in order to make people feel safer, we will continue the drive to make them safer too.” Chf Supt Pearce said in Brighton and Hove most crime is driven by misuse of alcohol and of Class A drugs, specifically heroin and crack cocaine. Robbery, burglary and theft are committed to fund drug habits, while excessive drinking is a major cause of violent crime including domestic violence and criminal damage. Tackling these issues are two out of the three policing priorities in the city. He said: “The third is dealing with anti-social behaviour (ASB), which people tell us is what disrupts their lives in the places they live and work in. The police do not tackle these crimes alone – reducing crime and ASB is done with other agencies. “This is because alcohol and drug misuse, and the attitudes that make people commit ASB, are social problems and enforcement is only one means of dealing with them. I and my team are committed to giving the public a more local, accessible and accountable service, while at the same time ensuring we deal with the serious crimes that can undermine the safety and wellbeing of the people in Brighton and Hove.”

Paul Pearce

Do’h! A deer… A deer dumped by her mother has become the leader of a herd of cattle. Farmers are amazed that wherever the doe goes, the Aberdeen Angus steers are sure to follow. Southern News and Pictures photographer Stephen Lawrence snapped the rogue deer using a long lens on Ditchling Common. Farmer Elaine Taylor said: “When we take feed out to the herd the doe runs off and the steers follow her. They normally come to us to get the feed but it seems she has become the leader. “It may seem cute but it’s a real nuisance. She makes it very difficult for us when we need to round up the cattle.” Experts believe the deer will eventually leave the steers when she starts looking for romance and a mate.

Hove pest A sex pest who gropes women in the street in Hove has struck for the 13th time. His latest victim, 18, was walking home at 10.15pm when the man pounced from behind. Police said he pinches bottoms but has also carried out more serious assaults. Victims range from teenagers to women in their 30s, and all were attacked near Hove train station. The first attack happened in March and the majority occurred east of Sackville Road. Det Sgt David Osland said: “We do not want to alarm women but ask that they remain alert as this man’s behaviour is particularly intimidating to women. Police have rapidly responded to each report, conducting area searches, stopping and checking anyone nearby and making house-to-house enquiries among their investigations. “Because of the suddenness of the assaults, with the offender sometimes approaching from behind, the descriptions of the man vary. Looking at the descriptions we are keen to trace a man in his 20s, of slim to medium build, between 5ft 5 and 5ft 9 tall and often described as being of dark European or Asian appearance. “In the latest incident the man was wearing a waxy-looking waterproof jacket that was navy blue with lighter, possibly beige, backs to the sleeves. We would appeal to anyone who has seen a man loitering in their area at night, or any suspicious activity, to call us. If you are approached by such a man, dial 999 immediately. “It is also possible this man has approached other women so we would also like to hear from them. I would urge women to take extra care when out at night in the town, and not to walk alone. We will be providing extra patrols in the area to provide extra reassurance.” If you have any information call Brighton and Hove CID on 0845 60 70 999 quoting Operation Sella, or Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111. Your call is free and you could be entitled to a reward.

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014_LS398_letters/sport

11/7/08

12:09 PM

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LATEST LETTERS&SPORT

Letters

Send your comments to letters@thelatest.co.uk

Survivors celebrate Kiya Survivors, a small charity set up by a local girl to help children with special needs in Peru is having its eighth annual Christmas party on Sunday 7 December at The Greenhouse Effect in Hove starting at 6pm. We would love for you guys at Latest 7 and all your readers to come along and help celebrate another successful year, with traditional Peruvian drinks and local bands, Gentleman Starkey, Carly Bryant and Spring Heeled Jim. It’s guaranteed to be a fab night and what better way to party than for such a good cause! Hope to see you there… Pip Emmott

For the good of man

You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH 14 latest 7

Round ups and rumblings from the Latest Sports Bunker

Give a little respect Latest Sport’s Joe Curtin reflects on the twist and turn climax to this year’s Formula One There were certainly fireworks last week. Apart from that annoying hangover from the Christian wars of the Renaissance that annoys dogs and anyone over 19, we saw the explosive ending to this year’s Formula One Championship. Lewis Hamilton, the boy wonder of British motor racing, won the title in the most exciting climax for a British driver, since James Hunt in 1976, again for McLaren. There are plenty of other comparisons between Hunt’s victory season and Hamilton’s. Hunt, a Brit in a McLaren, was fighting for the title against a Ferrari and had run-ins with the sport’s authorities. Both won the British Grand Prix and both (after Lauda’s terrible accident in Germany and consequent retirement in the final race) had to finish within certain points. And both, excitingly, in the final laps did enough to clinch the Championship. Phew, that’ll learn those foreign types and their Ferrari fetish. Although it is incredibly refreshing to see a Brit finish fourth, and for a change actually win something. Aaah, how very British. Shame that’s not happening in the Rugby League World Cup (or the cricket, or the football, or the – anything other than snooker or darts really).

“Hamilton is the latest in a long line of British Forumla One drivers who race the way the sport should be raced” Pic: Mark McArdle

Following the adverts that Mankind ran last week in The Argus and Latest 7, I wanted to talk about some of the issues that were touched on. The adverts highlight that men are victims of rape and sexual abuse and not just the perpetrators. In our society the emphasis is put on women as being potential targets of sexual attacks, so many men find it difficult to come forward for help. Three in 20 men are victims of sexual violence and we want to reach out, let them know that there is someone to tell. There is much ignorance and misinformation surrounding male rape and sexual abuse. Society’s lack of understanding about the size of the problem together with the pressure on men to appear strong and masculine can increase feelings of confusion, guilt, shame and doubt. Suppression of these feelings can create many complex issues including anxiety, intimacy issues, substance misuse and relationship problems. This is the first time that we have used direct advertising to inform the public of our existence. We hope the coverage raises public awareness and enables more men who have experienced sexual violence to approach Mankind. This will give them the opportunity to reflect on how their traumatic experiences have affected their lives, helping the past to be put to rest and a new future to emerge. Vicci Heaysman (external relations officer, Mankind)

Latest Sport

It is surprising to witness the overseas antipathy to Hamilton, and it’s something I find hard to understand. I was in a shop the day before the Brazilian Grand Prix and the foreign shopkeeper was hoping for a Massa win. His fellow drivers have censured him this season. And the Brazilian crowd at Interlagos was jovially partisan. How can such a young attacking driver, with his Pussycat Doll girlfriend – see Hunt (although he had many), but with admittedly more charisma on the track than in interviews – be so unpopular? Is it racism? I personally think it’s a combination of Ferrari devotion and anti-British feeling. Both regardless of, and in spite of this, Lewis Hamilton is the latest in a long line of British F1 drivers who race the way the sport should be raced (remember the boredom of the Schumacher era), like his hero the great Ayrton Senna. From Mike Hawthorn and Stirling Moss in the ‘50s to Graham Hill and Jim Clark in the ‘60s, James Hunt and Jackie Stewart in the ‘70s and Nigel Mansell and Damon Hill in the ‘80s and ‘90s, British drivers have raced with flair and panache, they went wheel to wheel with their opponents and made the sport interesting to watch. Hamilton is the latest in this canon. To quote Millwall: “No one likes us, we don’t care!” Although in this case, in F1, we are a credit to the sport.


015_LS398_cheeky/stars

11/4/08

3:21 PM

Page 1

ONLY JOKING!

See more at thelatest.co.uk

Bare cheek Brighton, can you Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Hove factually Five facts you didn't know about fantabulous Hove! 1 One of pop singer David Bowie’s lesser known incarnations, coming chronologically between Ziggy Stardust and Aladdin Sane, was Sergeant Lucius O’Dromgoole, a blind, cybernetic, bisexual sweet shop owner who lived on Pembroke Crescent. Bowie reputedly dropped the character after Andy Warhol advised him that it was a load of rubbish. 2 The quality of light on Blatchington Road has been praised by such diverse artists as JW Turner, Paul Gauguin, and Francis Bacon for its warmth, its sharpness, and the way it makes everyone look like Clive James. 3 Hove’s official superhero, the caped and masked Fantastic Man, has been patrolling its environs since 1982, keeping the streets safe for honest citizens, and doling out his own peculiar blend of sexual justice to wrongdoers. 4 Until it closed in the early ‘70s, Hove Zoo contained the only living Godzooky in captivity and a pair of Terminators who were mated, producing comedian Jimmy Cricket in 1949. 5 Hove banknotes carry the image of comedian Duggie Brown and are printed on polonium.

spare a dime? If Sam the Eagle-lookalike Alistair Darling is right, and Great Britain is heading for its worst depression since the 1940s, then how will this affect the great and the good of our fair city? Using a copy of that old Magic Robot game, we at Bare Cheek have expertly predicted how Brighton will cope with this economic downturn. • Fatboy Slim to change name to Slightlyoverweightboy Thin. • Kooks to become one-man band. • Pavilion turned into soup kitchen. • Funfair prices on pier to be slashed to £17 per go. • Air guitar playing to be necessity rather than amusingly ironic puckishness. • Ladyboys of Bangkok out, those blokes from the Bounty kitchen roll adverts in.

Spotted

With a starving hungry character from a 1940s Warner Brothers cartoon

• On East Street, slowly turning into a roasted chicken… Ricky Gervais. • Strolling along Western Road, transforming into a salami, with a boiled egg for a head and celery sticks for arms and legs… Thom Yorke.

In & Out IN

OUT

• Hooray Henries

• Chinless wonders

• Benson

• Newhart

• Terrahawks

• Tony Wilson’s Remote Control

• Martika’s Kitchen

• The Orb’s Adventures Beyond the Ultraworld

• Odd socks

• Willy warmers

Astral Angi

★Finding truth in the stars★

This week Astral strokes your erogenous zones

• Relaxing with friends, while a slice of of rye bread appears each side of her… Jesse Wallace. Slurp slurp (rubs eyes). • On the pier turning into an enormous pickle… Leona Lewis (shakes head from side to side). • Enjoying a chat outside the Grand with a female companion, looking very much like a gigantic pancake, with a vast bottle of maple syrup poised above his head… Danny Dyer (grabs knife and fork).

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

BARDSLEY’S

WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

01273 681256

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19).

With cold weather setting in and fuel prices rising it may be time to nest, and where better than in bed with a close friend. Your erogenous zone is the head and face.

Cancers everywhere are breast lovers, one of the most sensitive parts of both women’s and men’s bodies. Treat with respect at all times but be aware of Taurean teeth.

For Libra it’s the buttocks. Not to everyone’s tastes I know, but there you have it. If you want to satisfy a Libran use your imagination, but one thing is for sure, it’s a bum job.

Capricorn loves nothing more than knees. Now take that how you will – maybe the like having them rubbed, or maybe they like being on them. Research will be vital here.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

Taureans can keep the temperature high by kissing and biting, but remember, this is love and not dinner. Your erogenous zone is the neck but beware, the marks will show.

Despite all the aggressive stuff, Leos are kittens and like nothing more that having their backs rubbed. For some this will be enough and one will never have to penetrate the underbelly.

Scorpio is base, no gently stroking of the limbs here but straight down to business with a foray into the ‘lady garden’ or a peppering of the ‘meat and two veg’! Wash your hands after.

Airy-fairy Aquarians are calf lovers. The lower leg and ankles will do it every time. Try wrapping them around your neck and join in, why should they get all the fun.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

Gemini is a sensitive soul so take it slow, you don’t want to fall into fits of giggles. Your erogenous zone is the arms from the elbows right up to armpits. Nice!

The way to a Virgo’s heart is through the stomach, but not by feeding them. Oh no, they like to have their tummy licked. Nice enough but be conscious of navel fluff issues.

Saggy old Sagis are easily satisfied with a gentle massage of the upper thigh. This can easily be affected in combination with the changing of an incontinence pad.

The Piscean erogenous zone is the feet. But its not to everyone’s taste. Why not substitute a sole of the Dover kind down at Bardsley’s to warm them up.

To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk

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HEALTH

See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk

Weigh down Zara Baker looks at Laser Lipo as a way to lose inches before the Christmas excess

10% off with this ad

As the temperature drops, many of us instantly crave comfort food. Home-made stews, pies and crumbles fill the sunsized hole November left behind. Then there’s the inevitable food excess over Christmas. The shape we worked hard for over the summer months deteriorates. It’s a cycle many of us are familiar with. We know that what we ate to get slim is what’s needed to stay slim. In other words, a low-fat, high-fibre diet. If your body is need of some help with winter weight loss, here’s a new method taking off in the UK that will help you achieve a toned, svelte figure. Laser Lipo took off in the UK earlier this year, although there are select places where the treatment is available. It’s marketed as having the results of liposuction without the surgery; a big draw is that it is quick (40 minutes), pain-free and uses no anaesthetic. Sound too good to be true? Laser Lipo has a definite hype surrounding it in the media. One treatment gives instant results: depending on the client, 0.5 to three inches can be lost. This is achieved by laser paddles placed on the fatty areas. The Laser Lipo Body Contouring System (BCS) is switched on for 10-minute intervals, working different areas. The laser penetrates the skin, breaking down the fat cells. The treatment is non-invasive, using low levels of laser energy so the fat cell membranes are disrupted. The skin, nerves and blood vessels are left unaffected. Ideal for the tummy and thighs, Laser Lipo can also work on a double chin, arms and back. The results are inch loss, skin tightening and cellulite reduction. To see if Laser Lipo is suitable for you, visit www.laserlipo-bcs.com. Always consult with your GP before treatment.

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If you would like to comment on this story please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk


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LATESTHOTLIST

See more at thelatest.co.uk

latest hot

LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS

RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials. They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256

The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty homecooked food, separate evening and lunch menus and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter, a central open fire roars. In summer, people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt. 59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com

The Gallery Restaurant Why not appreciate for yourself the brand new restaurant in the heart of Brighton’s lanes specialising in modern British food all within in a relaxed fine dining environment. All the food is sourced locally, (where possible) homemade and designed for the seasons by our a la carte head chef who has lead at the Dorchester in London, amongst other leading London restaurants. The restaurant boasts a friendly yet casual environment that offers that little bit more all at very reasonable prices. 28 East Street, Brighton. 01273 773327 www.thegallerybrighton.co.uk

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight, plus a wine list full of treats without being expensive. Make the most of the terrace when the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat. 1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555, www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

Sam’s of Brighton A brand new restaurant on the Kemp Town restaurant scene. Situated in the famous

One Paston Place site, Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a free-range poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter. 1 Paston Place, Brighton, 01273 676222 www.samsofbrighton.co.uk

Santiago Restaurant Nestled between the two piers, Santiago Restaurant offers quality food and friendly service in this fantastic location on Brighton beach. Occupying former fisherman’s arches and boasting three of the historic, original arched windows, the first floor indoor restaurant gives a cosy and intimate dining experience. Now serving an exciting new menu of modern European dishes with a Hispanic influence and delicious homemade desserts. On sunny days, enjoy watching the world go by while dining on their sun terrace overlooking the beach, or in the evening come and relax in the indoor restaurant where every table has a sea view. 143-144 Kings Road Arches, Brighton Beach 01273 710031 www.santiagorestaurant.biz

CHINESE Gars Restaurant Stunningly refurbished, this old Brighton favourite has attained a new lease of life. An exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room and enjoy the glamour of it all. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321 www.gars.co.uk

FRENCH The Arrogant Frog Until 20 November, there is a special twofor-one offer on main courses, Monday to Thursday (the cheapest dish is free). Christmas day, Christmas party and New Year’s Eve menus are now available. Phone to receive your copy by email and book early to avoid disappointment. Not as expensive as you might think! A tempting à la carte and Xpress lunch is also available all week. A ‘Plat du Jour’, at £9.45 including a drink, is the perfect way to treat yourself without breaking the bank. Children and families always welcome. 119 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721488, www.thearrogantfrog.com

Cocoa Cocoa is the cheeky new French patisserie found just down from Brighton train station on Queen’s Road. “A slice of Paris in the heart of Brighton”. All cakes, pastries, tartines and baguettes are lovingly prepared each morning on the premises by French gourmet pastry chef Julien Plumart. Front of the house is run by Jana Solfronk serving coffee, cinnamon hot chocolate or homemade lime ice tea, amongst other beverages. Intimate seating overlooking a mural of the roofs of Paris sets an atmosphere both relaxing and bohemian. For breakfast, lunch or an afternoon “tete a tete”, Cocoa is the choice for discerning Brightonians. As commented by a recent French visitor: ”Cocoa make the best croissant in Brighton, by far better than any I found in Paris.” 48 Queen’s Road, Brighton. 01273 777412

New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional home-made French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too! Daily evening menu at two courses £10.50, three courses £12.50 on weekdays; and two courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 on Friday and Saturday (ONLY LIMITED SPACES AVAILABLE DAILY). À la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6-10pm for last orders. 10-11 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 or 695415

L’Églisese

other Indian restaurants, Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes: bhindi kadhi, pista chicken, lamb rajasthani, and many more, and for its distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. There is also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. They have a buffet available 11am-3pm Mon-Sat, alongside a ‘light bites’ menu. It’s definitely a hot favourite with the people of Lewes! Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle

L’Église is a traditional French restaurant in Hove offering classic cuisine prepared for contemporary tastes. Offering a fantastic À la Carte menu Tuesday to Sunday together with daily specials like Saucisses de Toulouse, Boeuf Bourguignon and Côte de Bœuf for two. Locally sourced produce include freshly caught fish of the day and an extensive anglo-french farmhouse cheeseboard. There are also a selection of superb French desserts on offer such as Raspberry Millefeuille and Crème Brulée. Whether enjoying our south facing sun terrace with the 2 course Express lunch menu, Tuesday-Saturday, 12-5pm at £11.95 or relaxing on a Sunday with our delicious French Sunday roast… this is true entente cordiale. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk, info@legliserestaurant.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle is a family run Indian bistro in the famous old lanes serving stunning food. Fronted by Brighton chef Alun Sperring, who has recently returned from Jumeirah in Dubai and has spent the last twenty years learning his trade around the world. The restaurant has a relaxed and informal feel, with an emphasis on authentic Indian and Nepalese dishes using local and organic produce. The daytime menu offers Indian street food, Thalis and Masala Dosa, a selection of beautiful loose teas and cakes and sweetmeats. Dinner is a more refined affair. Feast on a Spiced Tandoor Baked Shoulder of Lamb, Moilly Seafood Pot or Duck Egg Masala to name a few. Paired with a carefully chosen selection of Belgian and micro brewery beers to include original India pale ale. 42 Meeting House Lane, 01273 323824 www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk

INDIAN Chaula’s

ITALIAN Donatello

“The food of India, not just Indian food.” New on the scene in Lewes and unlike

The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food

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LATESTHOTLIST in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu which is utterly affordable with the signature setprice boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95. 16-17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135

SRI LANKAN Moonstone Sri Lankan Restaurant Moonstone is a family run restaurant brimming with authenticity and originality. From the decorations to the menu everything about it radiates true Sri Lankan style. This gem of a restaurant is the perfect place for a relaxing and enjoyable meal for all the family. Sri Lankan curries are tasty but not necessarily hot! They are distinguished by being light, delicately spicy with an abundance of herbs and a dash of fresh coconut – tantalising to the palette and light to digest. Two courses £9.99 – Sunday to Thursday. They also cater for functions and private parties. 208 Church Road, Hove. 01273 202151 www.moonstonesrilankanrestaurant.co.uk

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See more at thelatest.co.uk THAI Chokdee A premium takeaway and informal eaterie next to Hove Station where you can enjoy real Thai cooking. Chokdee serves a variety of popular Thai dishes, including tom yum soup, pad thai (stir-fried noodles) favourite red and green curries and a range of freshly stir-fried dishes, with vegetarian options. There’s a selection of home-made starters priced from £3.95. A plate of mixed starters is good value at £8.95 and includes chicken satay, Thai fishcakes, mini spring rolls and mee krob noodles. Main courses include a good selection of vegetarian, duck and seafood dishes, and are made to each individual order using authentic Thai ingredients such as holy basil, kaffir lime leaves and galangal, coconut milk and chillis. Chokdee is licensed, with wines, saké and Thai beers. Open Monday to Saturday, for lunch and in the evening. 98 Goldstone Villas, Hove 01273 720370 www.chokdeethai.co.uk

Sabai The Thai word ‘sabai’ means comfortable, relaxed and chilled – precisely the way you’ll feel when you dine or have a drink with us. Filled with stylish, genuine Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. Browse our extensive menu of unique Sabai dishes, while sampling a cocktail or a bottle of wine from our comprehensive wine list. Try our gastronomic Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – many of which are grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners back in Thailand. Come and enjoy – or as they say in Thailand: “Sanuk”! 165-169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030 www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com

Sawadee

Moksha Caffe Brighton

Cheer the spirit with a visit to this popular Thai restaurant in the heart of Kemp Town. At Sawadee you can expect a warm welcome and an informal atmosphere in which to enjoy traditional Thai food from an established team. Each dish is freshly made and the menu offers a range of fiery red and green curries, colourful stir fry dishes, and specialities such as local sea bass drenched in a warming ginger and yellow bean sauce. Try large prawns in golden shredded coconut batter or fruity beancurd with pineapple and red tomatoes. You can choose a lovely crisp white or mellow red wine to accompany your Thai meal and there are three different popular Oriental beers on offer. Don’t miss the great value set menus starting at £14.95 for a four-course, authentic Thai meal. Sawadee Thai Restaurant, 87 St James Street, Brighton BN2 1TP, 01273 624233

Moksha is Brighton’s ultimate independent café, with their own blend of locally roasted coffee made by highly trained baristas. They have an excellent range of homemade cakes and sandwiches all made on site with favourites like battenburg, quiches and gluten-free options like pistachio and orange biscotti. Moksha is not your usual high street coffee shop with its spacious interior and the works of local artists. They are child friendly, have disabled access and free WIFI. Free live music or comedy every Saturday night. Their opening hours are Mon–Fri 8am–7pm, Sat 8am–10pm, Sun 10am–6pm. Located opposite St Peters Church and only a stone’s throw away from Brighton Station. Moksha Caffe, 4-5 York Place, Brighton, 01273 248890, www.mokshacaffe.com

COFFEE SHOPS BARS Koba Bar and Club Spinelli Coffee

Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with greattasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries. A place where customers are attended to by a dedicated team of the very best baristas, whose driving motivation is to provide the ultimate ‘coffee experience’. Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views. Everyone can find a place to sit and sip, get wrapped up in a good book, take advantage of the free Wi-Fi or just relax. Spinelli Coffee is located in the heart of Kemp Town Village, just off the corner of St George’s Road and College Road. Mon-Fri 8am-6pm, Sat 8:30am-6pm, Sun 9am-5pm. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819

Koba hosts a happy hour in the front bar between 5-7pm all week. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list, and of course, champagne for special occasions (or just for the love of it). The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. To book your private party, reserve your guestlist or to run through some ideas please contact: Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com

To have an entry in the latest hot list call Marie on 01273 818150


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latest

01273 687171 formerly joogleberry

musicbar tues 11 nov 8pm £5/£4 adv

wed 12 nov

now booking

the burlettes a delicious blend of costume, dance & vocal swing music

xmas

Paul Diello + Aisha Kinzey 8pm £2

dinners & parties

latest garage craze

8pm £5/£4

60's themed night with my name in lights + the shoestrung + dj small wanda

thur 13 nov

catalyst club special with

7.30pm £6

gavin prettor-pinney + rohan kriwaczek

friday 14 nov

private party

dan markland + meri 8pm £2

book your private party with ruth or angi on 687171

+ weddings, civil partnerships, birthdays. For the funkiest parties call us and book the venue for FREE* •subject to conditions

sat 15 nov 10am–3.30pm £25

sun 16 nov doors 7pm show 8pm £4

mon 17 nov 7.30pm £10 for lesson

harmonica workshop introduction for beginners

private party book your private party with ruth or angi on 687171

brighton folk roast ‘n’ jazz with scenic routes + loz bridge & the box social

with terry seabrook + dan shepherd 12.30pm–3.30pm £10 inc lunch

gay tango workshop tango lessons for all!

thelatest.co.uk/musicbar 14 – 17 manchester street brighton bn2 1tf

check our website for full programme


021_LS398_reviews/index

11/5/08

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latest listings Your weekly guide to what’s on

11 – 17 November Super Dynamite Boogaloo

Under review Here’s our round up of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.thelatest.co.uk Martha Wainwright Martha and Rufus have, despite their family connections, proven themselves very talented in their own right, sounding nothing like their esteemed mum and dad, and cementing the family’s musical reputation. Martha has worked her butt off to get to this point, slogging away on the circuit, slowly graduating to the likes of this wonderful church in Kemp Town – ironic considering the lustier content of some of her material. Live, her voice becomes an instrument all her own, turning good songs into great ones, and as a performer she is totally comfortable within herself, seemingly folding herself into a trance-like state. There are some serious fans out there, although one or two had to bring up Rufus. St George’s Church, 25 October ✌✌✌✌ Jeff Hemmings

Best of The Fest If the compere’s job is to ease us aboard, Adam Hills found us a first class seat. Between acts,

Hills set up blind dates and his quick wit stole the show. Captain Frodo, think Benny from Bjorn Again on speed, manoeuvred his body through tennis rackets. Shappi Khorsandi delivered her hilarious set from The Secret Policeman’s Ball, and Stewart Francis encouraged us to climb aboard his “Giggle Train”, and we did: “Standing in a park wondering why does a frisbee get bigger, the closer it gets? And then it hit me.” Genius. Hoards of satisfied punters disembarked happily at the other end. Corn Exchange, 24 October ✌✌✌✌✌ Andy Peck

Super Dynamite Boogaloo This felt like a night at The Bronze, Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s favourite club. The undead bopped to pop classics until Fake Bush warbled her way convincingly through a couple of Kate’s songs. Next, Dolly Rocket belted out Rocky Horror tunes, Boogaloo Stu then joined her, minus the quiff and looking scary. After their

HOT REVIEW OF THE WEEK Seu Jorge Jorge took to the stage with his 11-piece band and brought a genuine taste of Brazil to Brighton. He played songs from his latest album America Brasil along with solo acoustic renditions of Bowie's ‘Life on Mars’ and ‘Rebel Rebel’. His energetic band played a full range of Latin instruments and drums to complement his

strong vocals and the large Brazilian contingent present added to the atmosphere. Jorge conversed mainly in Portuguese, expressing passion and political emotion for the favelas in Sao Paulo. The evening ended in carnival style. Samba by the sea! Brighton Dome, 31 October ✌✌✌✌✌ David Clarke

shenanigans, prizes were given to the best dressed: a woman with three heads; a man with a severed appendage poking out of his trousers (it wasn’t an arm or a leg). Then more dancing. As I left I saw Snow White snogging the devil. A classic Halloween. Komedia, 31 October ✌✌✌✌ Rachel Pegg

Brendon Burns There are offensive comics; then there’s Brendon Burns. The Aussie stand-up’s reputation precedes him and, true to form, he begins by singling out his victim for the night: a man in the front row who Burns christens ‘Big Bird’. From there, the intensity, hilariously bad-taste humour and brilliantly unsubtle observation goes from strength to strength. A mix of real gut hatred, Liverpool-baiting, Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions and Bill Hicks-style vocal eccentricities, Burns destroys convention on every level, leaving a sold-out venue full of people paralysed by joyous, unstoppable laughter. Pavilion Theatre, 25 October ✌✌✌✌✌ Nick Aldwinckle

Terry Saunders Sitting on a Rug Mr Saunders likes to ramble, and the ramshackle feel sat together chiefly due to his comedic experience. The first act saw Terry telling a few tales and introducing two local comics – Seann Walsh and Robin Buckland, both new acts with crowd-pleasing sets and strong laughs. The second section saw James Sherwood, a satirical musical act familiar to Radio 1, 2 and 4 listeners who was at ease and on good form. Following this, the four comics sat in discussion on stage. A danger at the unscriptedness led this to be the most laughterpacked section, crescendoing in an improvised hoedown. Random acts of madness. Upstairs at Three And Ten, 29 October ✌✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle

Beyond Boundary Road, p30

27 Stage Opera at Glyndebourne

28 Film The life of George Bush explored in Oliver Stone’s W and local listings

30 Comedy A way to banish the winter blues

30 Art Beyond Boundary Road at Blank Studios and Gallery

31 Events The Mighty Boosh are signing books in town

31 Books Catch a Fish From the Sea by Nasreen Akhtar

32 Music Seth Lakeman talks folk, plus gigs and reviews

35 Music & Clubs All the listings needed to get your groove on

36 Gay Will on the scene, plus gay news and listings

38 Television Dani’s naked dislike of Gok, plus all your listings for the week ahead

For complete and comprehensive listings go to thelatest.co.uk latest 7 21


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COVERSTORY Pic: Kate Howell

Over the Rainbow Get ready for one of the most magical musicals of all time as the Wizard of Oz explodes on stage at Theatre Royal Brighton this Christmas Experience the magic of the West End at the south coast’s flagship theatre! Christmas will be very special and unlike any other in Brighton this year as Theatre Royal Brighton Productions and First Family Entertainment present the spectacular family musical The Wizard of Oz. Join Dorothy and her dog Toto on a twister of an adventure and meet her friends, Tin Man, Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion as they journey to the magical Emerald City chasing their dreams. This brand new production is directed by award-winning musical star Tim Flavin, who was recently nominated for another Olivier Award for his stunning performance in My One and Only. With a full cast of top class West End musical performers, songs from the MGM classic film including: ‘Follow The Yellow Brick Road/We’re Off to See the Wizard‘, and ‘Over The Rainbow‘, it’s time to put on your ruby slippers, click your heels three times and book your tickets now. Tickets are priced £15–£24 and are available from Theatre Royal Brighton Box Office on 08700 606 650 (bkg fee) or online at www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal

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CHRISTMASSHOWS

Christmas is soon going to be with us, so now is the perfect time to pick your choice of seasonal show: will it be panto, musical, bawdy romp or ballet? The choice is yours… Christmas comes but once a year and whether you want traditional panto or modern musical, all have their place. And with so much to chose from each year it’s easy to find a festive entertainment to suit you. When it comes to panto, the best thing is that this is family or group entertainment, the kind of theatre that you go along to as a party and take with it some party spirit. That said, there is a distinct line that falls between audience participation and heckling and comedy club lovers should take note. Many people’s great love is – and always has been – a panto: proper dames, principal boys and transformation scenes; all topped off with an audience song. This year Brighton’s Theatre Royal are breaking tradition with The Wizard of Oz in a production that promises to have all the quality and magic of a top West End show. Directed and starring West End star Tim Flavin the prospects are excellent and even panto die-hards should go home with a smile on their face and a spring in their step. If, however, a traditional panto is essential fare in your Christmas line-up then Jack and The Beanstalk at The Old Market in Hove should tick your box. This is a first for this charming venue, and it should see traditionalists queuing around the block.

Brighton’s Dome complex always puts on a feast of wonderful festive entertainment and this year is no exception. Starting with The Night Before Christmas at the Pavilion Theatre followed by a season of Christmas concerts, a ceilidh and culminating in two classic ballets, The Nutcracker and Sleeping Beauty. At the Hawth in Crawley there will be nothing wishy washy about their production of Aladdin. A long succession of great pantomimes at this mid-Sussex venue draws audiences from far and wide each year. In Worthing there are two to choose from: Snow White and Jack and the Beanstalk, both traditional and both from venues with a strong reputation for excellent panto. For adults, and that’s a pretty strict definition Brian Ralfe has built a great following for his bawdy alternative Christmas pantomimes and this years promises to be as rude and ribald as ever. Now in its seventh year smutty fun is guaranteed from Sinderfella, not for the faint-hearted but probably one of the best nights out this season. Booking is almost essential for all these shows, but look out for party discounts and offers to make the most of your holiday theatre fun.

The boy with the lamp Aladdin, the most mystical pantomime of all, flies in on a magic carpet to The Hawth this Christmas, starring CBBC’s Ciaran Joyce in the title role and Crawley’s own Jon Clegg as the hilarious Wishee Washee. As well as everything you would expect from a pantomime; sparkling sets and costumes, amazing song and dance routines, romance, comedy and audience participation, this year Aladdin also features an array of outstanding 3D effects, including a 3D Genie, the cave of riches and an amazing 3D carpet ride! Be transported to the Far East on a magical adventure this Christmas from Friday 12 December – Sunday 4 January. Book now call 01293 553636 or online www.hawth.co.uk.

Magical dance This year Brighton Dome welcomes the Kiev Classical Ballet and Orchestra for their Brighton debut, with a double bill of two children’s favourites: Peter and the Wolf and The Carnival of the Animals. The much loved fairytale Peter and the Wolf tells the story of a brave young boy who encounters a dangerous wolf in the forest. Prokofiev’s timeless fable is a true masterpiece of music for children, each character brought vividly to life with its own instrumental theme. In the hands of the Kiev Classical Ballet and Orchestra, Saint Saëns’ The Carnival of the Animals becomes an exotic birthday parade of colourful creatures, accompanied by classical favourites. “What a magical menagerie to delight the eyes and ears of any child“ The Stage Sat 13–Tue 16 Dec, Sat 13 Dec 7.30pm, Sun 14 Dec 2pm & 5.30pm, Mon 15 Dec 7.30pm. Tue 16 Dec, schools matinee 1.30pm, schools tickets £6.50. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome. Tickets £10, £15, £20, £22, £24. Children half price on top two tickets. Call 01273 709709 or book online at www.brightondome.org latest 7 25


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CHRISTMASSHOWS

Jack is back Jack and the Beanstalk will be bouncing into Brighton in December at The Old Market: packed full of adventure, excitement and lots of magical enchantment. With shrieks of ‘He’s behind you!’ Jack really has his work cut out for him when best friend Princess Jill is captured by the beastly baddy, Fleshcreep. Join Jack on his fantastic adventure to save Jill and Daisy the Cow and be transported into a wonderful, magical world of spell-binding songs, hilarious antics and a few sprinkles of fairy dust along the way. With a cast of outstanding professional actors and a West End creative team it promises to be a delight for all the family. Dates: Monday 29 December 2008 to Thursday 9 January 2009 Tickets start from only £12.50, call 01273 736222 or book online: www.theoldmarket.co.uk

Two of the best With two spectacular pantomimes at Worthing Theatres this year there will be something to tempt everyone. Jack and the Beanstalk is brought to the Connaught Theatre from Friday 5 December, 2008 to Sunday 4 January, 2009 by The Proper Pantomime Company, who specialise in traditional pantomime with colourful hand-painted sets, dazzling costumes and live music. Christopher Lillicrap and Jeanette Ranger’s beautifully written show stars the glorious Rula Lenska and Simon Davies (CBeebies’ Tikkabilla). There’s a singalong, plenty of laughs and audience interaction with Dame Daisy. At the Pavilion Theatre this year, Hammond Productions present Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs from Thursday 11 December 2008 to Sunday 4 January, 2009 featuring song, dance, fun, laughter and plenty of special effects, it’s pantomime with a bang! Paul Hammond directs the memorable Mark Little (Emmerdale and Neighbours) and Craig Roberts (CBBC’s Young Dracula) who are joined by Equilibrium, the Russian Circus troupe performing unique acrobatic ladder acts. Book online at: www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

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STAGE

Tour de force Glyndebourne take to the road each autumn with a sensational season of operas, Andrew Kay reviews the 2008 tour Anyone who trots out the old line that Glyndebourne is an elitist establishment for the few simply hasn’t bothered to take a proper look. There is no doubt that during the season Glyndebourne certainly retains its up-market appeal, but they are far from complacent about that image and each year introduce new initiatives to breach the gaps, make it more accessible and more affordable. The Touring Company certainly goes a long way to doing that and each year it grows in both popularity and reputation. Drawing a selection of productions from the season, they take to the road with a company that comprises many of the season’s performers, but also giving opportunity for younger and newer talent to take leading roles. If you want to see the opera stars of the future then there is no better place than the Glyndebourne tour. This year I caught three stunning productions. Firstly, Mozart’s The Magic Flute, not strictly speaking an opera, more a play with songs. It is often produced with a strong directorial bent to reveal a hidden mysticism and symbolism seen by many in the work. This production, however, seemed hell bent on giving us the music. And although there were perhaps few moments when you sensed you were experiencing operatic greatness – in a vocal sense, you did feel that you were getting a great ensemble production, one where attention had been given to directing the performers to tell us the story with clarity. Settings were beautifully simplistic and costumes too, although there was not enough definition for The Queen of the Night visually. She did however give us a terrific rendition with only one rather screeched top note.

STAGELISTINGS

Tues 11 November to Monday 24 November BRIGHTON DOME 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Dvorak, Beethoven and Tchaikovsky. • 15 Nov, 7.30pm, £8–£30 Amor Flamenco Fiery music and dance. • 16 Nov, 4pm & 7.45pm, £15/13 Hofesh Shechter – Uprising & In Your Rooms Gritty dance double bill to live music. • 18 Nov, 8pm, £6–£15 Cinderella The famous fairytale set to music. • 20–22 Nov, 7.45pm plus Sat mat 2.30pm, £11.50–£14.50

THE CAPITOL, HORSHAM 01403 750220 www.thecapitolhorsham.com Humble Boy The past and present collide in a comedy about a man returning to his mother’s home following the death of his father. • 18–19 Nov, 7.30pm, £14.50/12.50

CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE

01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Liberty 1793 Paris, based on Anatole France’s novel Les Dieux ont Soif. Belinda Lang stars. • 11–15 Nov, 7.45pm plus 2.15pm matinee Sat, Minerva Theatre, £15/13 Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights A new adaptation by April de Angelis. Festival Theatre. • 12–15 Nov, 7.45pm plus 2pm matinee Wed & Sat, £10–£27 Knock Against My Heart Based on Shakespeare’s The Tempest. Ages 14+. • 18 Nov, 1.30pm & 7pm, £10/8

Carmen, directed by David McVicar, could not have been more luscious and rich. Nor could it have been more traditional. Sets and costumes that brought Sir William Russell Flint to mind reassured us that both time and place were not being messed with. Carmen has great opportunity for a chorus to shine as much as the soloists and shine they did. Katherine Rohrer as Carmen herself sang well and was feisty, but perhaps not sexy or seductive enough. Strangely, she was eclipsed by the simple beauty of Natasha Jouhl as Micaëla, whose voice and performance were stunning. Yonghoon Lee as Don José was equally moving for the same reasons with a measured performance that emphasised the innocence of a simple soldier. Hansel and Gretel was infused with all the magic I had hoped for. Luscious music, of course, but this time with that extra excitement that we all hope for with a Glyndebourne production. And the tricks worked, the time placement and the setting, all made sense – especially the chorus of obese children at the end that had me searching for Jamie Oliver to rescue them. Turning the ginger bread house into a gleaming hypermarket of junk food was inspired and the cast made full use of the device to great dramatic effect. Elizabeth DeShong and Bernarda Bobro brought a disarming childishness to their performance; the witch, a disturbing element of paedophilia, but neither was heavy-handed and all of the humour was allowed to shine through the darkness. Grim as Grimm needs to be but with delicious moments of fairytale magic as well. Truly a five-star performance. For details of future events at Glyndebourne go to www.glyndebourne.com

play starring comedienne Dillie Keane. • 20–22 November, 7.45pm & Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£18

THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Shorts II Four short plays – evening of drama. • 11 Nov, contact venue for show times/prices Have Box/Will Travel Semi auto-biographical story of a boy in pursuit of a dream. • 11 Nov, contact venue for show times/prices A November Day Ages 10–15 and up. First World War tale of two men, a dog and the war. • 14 Nov, contact venue for show times/£ Shades of Brown Thought-provoking onewoman show on characters who share a kinship through one thing they cannot hide – their skin. • 19 Nov, contact venue for show times/£

SHELLEY’S HOTEL, LEWES EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Alan Ayckbourn’s Affairs In A Tent Comedy, focused on riotous happenings on sports day. • 11–15 November, 7.45pm, Wed & Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50 My Brilliant Divorce Poignant and funny

If you would like to comment on these stories please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk

Tickets: 01273 479497 Othello Synergy Theatre present Shakespeare’s popular play in a hotel setting. • 18–22 Nov, 7.30pm, 8pm Thu, £8

perform in the buff to pay their bills. • 11–15 Nov, 7.45pm Tue–Thu, 6pm & 9pm Fri & Sat. £14–£23 Round the Horne – Unseen and Uncut The popular radio series is adapted for the stage. • 18–22 Nov, 7.45pm & 2.30pm Thu & Sat, £13–£25

UPSTAIRS AT THREE AND TEN 07786 984900 10 Steine Street, Brighton One For The Road/Ashes To Ashes Harold Pinter double bill with Otherplace Productions. • 18–20 Nov, 8pm, £9/7

WORTHING: CONNAUGHT THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk The Woman in Black A lawyer believes a spectre has out a curse on him and his family. • 11–15 Nov, 7.30pm, 2pm Wed, 2.30pm Sat, £13–£20.50 And Then There Were None Agatha Christie’s whodunnit about 10 strangers invited to a mysterious island. • 17–22 Nov, 7.30pm, 2pm Wed, 2.30pm Sat, £14.50–£23

WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE THEATRE ROYAL 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal The Full Monty Six unemployed workers

01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Me & My Girl A cockney boy’s in line to become an earl – enter gold-digging mistresses. • 11–15 Nov, 7.30pm,2.30 Wed/Sat, £10–£15

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FILM www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 11

Thursday 13

BURN AFTER READING (15) 8.30 EASY VIRTUE (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 GHOST TOWN (12A) 1.15, 3.45, 6.15, 8.45 HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 (U) 12.45, 1.45, 3.30, 4.30, 6.00 QUANTUM OF SOLACE (12A) 12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00 SAW V (18) 7.00, 9.15 W (15) 12.00, 2.50, 5.45, 8.45 THE WACKNESS (15) 9.15

BURN AFTER READING (15) 8.30 THE DUCHESS (12A) 10.30 EASY VIRTUE (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 GHOST TOWN (12A) 1.15, 3.45, 6.15, 8.45 HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 (U) 12.45, 1.45, 3.30, 4.30, 6.00 QUANTUM OF SOLACE (12A) 10.45, 12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00 SAW V (18) 7.00, 9.15 W (15) 12.00, 2.50, 5.45, 8.45

Wednesday 12

Films showing Friday 14–Monday 17

BURN AFTER READING (15) 8.30 EASY VIRTUE (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 GHOST TOWN (12A) 1.15, 3.45, 6.15, 8.45 HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 (U) 12.45, 1.45, 3.30, 4.30, 6.00 QUANTUM OF SOLACE (12A) 12.00, 1.00, 2.00, 3.00, 4.00, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 8.00, 9.00, 10.00 SAW V (18) 7.00, 9.15 W (15) 12.00, 2.50, 5.45, 8.45

EASY VIRTUE (PG) GHOST TOWN (12A) HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 (U) MAX PAYNE (15) PRIDE AND GLORY (15) QUANTUM OF SOLACE (12A) SAW V (18) W (15)

L7 lowdown New releases reviewed

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILMS/TIMES

7 Selects

W (15) www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 11

Friday 14

HUNGER(15) 4.00, 8.00 MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY (PG) 11.00 OF TIME AND THE CITY (12A) 2.00, 6.00

LET’S TALK ABOUT THE RAIN (15) 1.30, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30

Wednesday 12

FIVE CHILDREN AND IT (U) 11.00 LET’S TALK ABOUT THE RAIN (15) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY (PG) 10.00

HUNGER(15) 4.00, 8.00 MISS PETTIGREW LIVES FOR A DAY (BIG SCREAM) (PG) 11.00 OF TIME AND THE CITY (12A) 2.00, 6.00

Thursday 13 HUNGER(15) 4.00, 8.00 OF TIME AND THE CITY (12A) 2.00, 6.00

Saturday 15

Dir: Oliver Stone Has a film ever had better timing? Hollywood self-styled rebel Oliver Stone gives us his George W. Bush biopic in the same week that Dubya’s successor is chosen and his muddled reign as American president begins to come to an end. Josh Brolin takes the lead as we follow Bush from irate alcoholism to 1600

Sunday 16 LET’S TALK ABOUT THE RAIN (15) 1.30, 3.30, 8.30

anything better from the director who brought us that 1995 classic Bloodwings: Pumpkinhead’s Revenge. Showing at Cineworld

Monday 17 LET’S TALK ABOUT THE RAIN (15) 1.30, 3.30, 6.00 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

www.cineworld.co.uk

Let’s Talk About The Rain (15)

0871 200 2000 Tuesday 11

Thursday 13

EASY VIRTUE (PG) 1.20, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 GHOST TOWN (12A) 1.30, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10 HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 (U) 12.50, 3.30, 6.10 QUANTUM OF SOLACE (12A) 11.00, 11.40, 12.40, 1.40, 2.20, 3.20, 4.20, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 7.40, 8.45, 9.40, 10.20 SAW V (18) 9.20 SCAR 3-D (18) 11.20, 2.00, 4.40, 7.10, 9.30 W (15) 11.30, 2.30, 5.30, 8.30

EASY VIRTUE (PG) 1.20, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 GHOST TOWN (12A) 1.30, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10 HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 (U) 12.50, 3.30, 6.10 QUANTUM OF SOLACE (12A) 11.00, 11.40, 12.40, 1.40, 2.20, 3.20, 4.20, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 7.40, 8.45, 9.40 SAW V (18) 9.20 SCAR 3-D (18) 11.20, 2.00, 4.40, 7.10, 9.30 W (15) 11.30, 2.30, 5.30, 8.30

Wednesday 12

EASY VIRTUE (PG) GHOST TOWN (12A) HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 (U) MAX PAYNE (15) PRIDE AND GLORY (15) QUANTUM OF SOLACE (12A) SCAR 3-D (18) W (15) ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO (TBC)

EASY VIRTUE (PG) 1.20, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 GHOST TOWN (12A) 1.30, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10 HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 (U) 12.50, 3.30, 6.10 QUANTUM OF SOLACE (12A) 11.00, 11.40, 12.40, 1.40, 2.20, 3.20, 4.20, 5.00, 6.00, 7.00, 7.40, 8.45, 9.40, 10.20 SAW V (18) 9.20 SCAR 3-D (18) 11.20, 2.00, 4.40, 7.10, 9.30 W (15) 11.30, 2.30, 5.30, 8.30

Films showing Friday 14–Monday 17

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

Easy Virtue (PG)

Dir: Stephan Elliot With Jessica Biel in the lead this previously stuffy Noel Coward play is transformed into a breezy if not predictable film. Biel plays a glamorous American who marries a prim British gent. When he brings her home to meet the parents – played expertly by Colin Firth and Kristin Scott Thomas – their antiquated British ways are threatened. Aussie director Elliot might be better known for The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert but this is a deceptively fun affair. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

Scar 3-D (18) www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

01903 206206 Tues 11–Thurs 13 Nov

Sat 15 Nov

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 (PG) 3.00 (Weds), 5.45, 8.20 (Weds)

HORTON HEARS A WHO (U) 10.15

Tues 11–Thurs 13 Nov

A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH (U) 2.00

QUANTUM OF SOLACE (12A)2.00 (Weds), 5.15, 8.00

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Pennsylvania Avenue. With a cast that includes Richard Dreyfuss as Dick Cheney, Thandie Newton as Condoleeza Rice and Ioan Gruffudd as Tony Blair, this is an all-star piece. Less focused but more fun than JFK, this is a seething but almost too comic look at America’s leader. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon. Craig Driver

Mon 17 Nov CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

Dir: Jed Weintrob This frankly offensive horror is a belated Halloween offering down at Cineworld. Screened in not-soglorious 3D this cheap and gory film follows a woman as she returns to her hometown only to be confronted by the serial killer she thought she’d defeated years ago. While the plot may sound as dour as a flaccid cabbage it would be unfair to expect

Director: Agnes Jaoui Following from the success of The Taste of Others and Look at Me, director Agnès Jaoui joins forces with co-writer and fellow actor JeanPierre Bacri. In this Gallic effort their jovial mix of personal relationships and social concerns is expertly handled with a stubborn but funny charm. The film follows a political newbie as she returns home and is forced to confront the morality of her personal ambitions: fun but thoughtful. Showing at Duke of York’s

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (PG) Director: Peter Jackson Clocking in at a hefty 546 minutes this all night screening of J. R. R. Tolkien’s trilogy should satisfy many an ogre, orc and hairy-footed hobbit. The three films follow Frodo Baggins as he embarks on a dangerous quest to save middle earth from the evil clutches of Dark Lord Sauron and his super ugly minions. The night kicks off at 10pm on Saturday and comes to an end with a free breakfast in the early hours of Sunday morning. Fancy dress is most probably essential. Showing at Duke of York’s Craig Driver


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Firth and foremost Latest 7 talks to Colin Firth about his role in the new big screen adaptation of Noel Coward’s Easy Virtue Were you aware of the Noel Coward play before doing this movie? No. Funnily enough I’ve done a film adaptation of a Noel Coward play before, and it was quite a similar premise. Easy Virtue was a wonderful script, it’s gorgeous material and it’s very easy to be over reverential of it – they can be museum pieces if you’re not careful. Although, I did the film because I wanted to do a Stephan Elliot movie more than a Noel Coward play And I think that’s what we have. It’s as much Stephan’s sensibility as Coward’s.

20s. I found it desperately dull being 25 as an actor. A friend of mine, an older actor, said to me when I was that age, You know the hardest role in Shakespeare is not Hamlet or Lear, it’s Ferdinand in The Tempest, the earnest lover with no sense of humour. The older you get the more they let you be jaded, or witty, maybe you’re bad, maybe you’re disappointed, layers of experience. There’s more to be had, so yeah, bring them on!

The film does display a lot of humour around a very serious theme. Well, I think Coward specialises in that. I think within all the politeness and wryness and wit and trivia and flippancy of Coward is immense passion. He wrote Brief Encounter. Arguably it’s up there with Casablanca as one of the great passionate love stories of cinema.

Can you empathise with the father? Yes, I think anybody could. Family is complicated. From childhood to having your own. There are times you want to hide from them and run from them and in some ways, although there’s something entertaining about Whittaker standing back and making wry comments, there’s something noble about his defending Larita from the mob, the family.

The dry, sarcastic wit the character displays, is there a bit of yourself in that? Yeah, could be. You know there’s always a bit of yourself. I mean I love all that. Has your process for selecting projects changed? No, because I never had a process. You have gone from playing lover roles to playing the father roles, like in Mamma Mia, what do you think about that? That’s life. That’s where I am. One of the few pleasures of the aging process, is the roles actually get more complex. I look at Ben [Barnes] and I’m reminded of certain aspects of myself at the time: you have to really look for roles that have any texture when you’re in your

Did you have fun in Greece, filming Mamma Mia? Oh, the time of our lives. That wasn’t hard. It was really obscene to be paid to have that much fun, it was wonderful. Do you still get nervous as an actor? Yes. Nerves are the enemy all the way through your working life. What do you do to relax yourself, before a camera? I just don’t give a s**t. I used to. I think that comes with experience. I mean, maybe it’ll come back and I’ll be terrible tomorrow, I don’t know. But it’s just there and it’s a piece of junk.

Also showing… A quick look at what’s on this week A Matter of Life and Death (U) Dir: Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger Powell and Pressburger’s classic fantasy romance is more than welcome back on the big screen. The brilliant David Niven plays a WW2 fighter pilot who finds love with Kim Hunter’s radio operator who hears, apparently, his last words as his plane crashes. After a clerical mix-up in heaven, Niven states his case for literally a new lease of life. Showing at Worthing Burn After Reading (15) Dir: Joel and Ethan Coen The Coen brothers go back to basics with this acclaimed caper about an incompetent pair of colleagues trying to blackmail an ex CIA agent. George Clooney, Brad Pitt, John Malkovich and Coen fave Frances McDormand head a fine ensemble cast. Showing at Odeon Five Children and It (U) Dir: John Stephenson E. Nesbit’s classic children’s tale makes a similarly charming, if slight, lil-uns’ film adaptation. Freddie Highmore plays a young

boy who moves to the countryside with his siblings only to discover a curious, goblin-like creature, the Psammead, who grants them one wish a day. Eddie Izzard voices the grumpy, lovable sand fairy as only he could. Showing at Duke of York’s Ghost Town (12A) Dir: David Koepp Ricky Gervais’s first big screen leading role has had mixed reviews and with the curious mix of talent onboard, it’s understandable why. Gervais plays a sociopathic dentist, going by the odd moniker Bertram Pincus. When Pincus has a near-death experience, he finds he can see and hear dead people. Greg Kinnear is amongst the ghoulies badgering Gervais to help right the wrongs they’ve suffered. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon High School Musical 3: Senior Year (U) Dir: Kenny Ortega Disney’s musical hit gets its second sequel. Expect more of the same squeaky clean teens, old-fashioned song and dance routines and a million tweenie girls swooning over Zac Efron. Showing at Odeon, Cineworld and Worthing

Horton Hears A Who! (U) Dir: Jimmy Heyward and Steve Martino Jim Carrey and Steve Carrell reunite after Bruce Almighty in this latest Dr Seuss animated adaptation. Carrey stars as elephant Horton, who discovers the tiny town of Whoville. Together with the town’s mayor (Carrell), the pair struggle to save its residents from Horton’s hostile neighbours. Showing at Worthing Hunger (15) Dir: Steve McQueen A very different cinematic prospect to his namesake, Turner Prize-winning artist turned director McQueen tells the tale of IRA members on hunger strike in Ireland’s notorious Maze prison. Michael Fassbender has been highly acclaimed as political prisoner Bobby Sands, starving himself to force the British government to recognise the IRA’s political legitimacy. Showing at Duke of York Quantum of Solace (12A) Dir: Marc Forster The wait is over as Daniel Craig’s Bond returns. Following the critical success of last outing Casino Royale, Crash writer Paul Haggis and The Kite Runner’s director, Marc Forster, pull out all the stops. Bond is on a quest for revenge after the death of his love, Vesper Lynd. The trail leads him to sinister

environmentalist Dominic Greene (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly’s Mathieu Amalric), who is trying to control a country’s water supply. Judi Dench pops up as M and new Bond girls Gemma Arterton and Olga Kurylenko simmer. Showing at Odeon, Cineworld and Worthing Of Time and the City (12A) Dir: Terence Davies A big success at Cannes, this documentary love letter to Davies’ hometown of Liverpool is a majestic combination of modern and archive footage and charismatic narration from the director himself. Showing at Duke of York’s Saw V (18) Dir: David Hackl Perhaps mercifully, this fifth installment is apparently the last in this popular Halloween cinema staple. With Jigsaw and pretty much everyone else dead, only forensics expert Hoffman is left alive to carry on the grim deathtrap legacy. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon

Nick Aldwinckle

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STAND-UP COMEDY

ART

A laughing matter Victoria Nangle has a look at a way to brighten up the skintest Christmas

I know, we’re all feeling broke after the glut of giggling that was the Magners Paramount Comedy Festival followed by the Brighton Comedy Fringe and really don’t want to have to think about Christmas yet. It’s cold, it’s wet, and we are most definitely past the point of an Indian summer. And yet off the back of this state of affairs, plus that big pocket-drainer that is Christmas heading towards us at full pelt, I have a suggestion. It’s time to go Christmas shopping. Think about it. It makes sense to spread the cost and be organised, plus – and here’s the sneaky bit – there are loads of cool comedy DVDs just being released now that’ll suit all the multitudes of tastes of the family, and that you can watch first to help float you through this traditionally depressing time of year. First off – the oldies but the goodies. For Dad, back from the 80s, is Dangervision – The Dangerous Brothers. This is Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson before Bottom and after The Young Ones, before crude middle age and after idealistic youth. Just where a whole load of presentwanting people think they are now. Plus it includes the sketch ‘Kinky Sex’ that was originally banned by LWT. Got to love a bit of anarchic controversy. For the more contemporary anarchist, American comedian Sarah Silverman, who describes her comic persona as “A combination of arrogant and ignorant”, has just released the DVD that made her name in the states three years ago – Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic. Not for the easily shocked as she has been mentioned in the same sentence as Lenny Bruce by more than one critic.

“His star continues to rise faster than that scary contraption that leans out over the end of the pier” For those who are still smarting from having missed out due to the sold out status of favourites at the festivals, Tim Minchin’s So F**king Rock Live came out this week, combining two of his previous sell-out shows of comedy and music. They’re ready to fly off the shelves as his star continues to rise faster than that scary contraption that leans out over the end of the pier. Next week sees the release of another sold-out show comic, Michael McIntyre, whose gentle but happy comic observations just plant a smile in your belly and let it grow. Add to these the crowd pleaser that is Tim Vine, slinging his puns every which way in So I Said To This Bloke, and you’ve pretty much got the whole family covered, and the winter blues kept at bay pretty much up to Christmas Eve. Ho, ho, ho. I don’t care how far away it is really.

Stand-up wisdom: “I was raised to believe stars were celestial and infinite – not out of five.” David O’Doherty

COMEDYLISTINGS Wednesday 12 The Mighty Boosh The surreal combination of Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt hit the road, joined by their band and a cult following. A phenomenon off the back of a BBC3 series. Continues every night until Saturday 15 Nov. Brighton Centre 7.30pm, £25.

Thursday 13 Robin Ince Comic sage Robin Ince continues his monthly residency. Sit back as Ince rails against ignorance, celebrates science, and occasionally speculates about his own neurological wellbeing. Three And Ten, 8pm, £7/5.

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➧ For full listings go to thelatest.co.uk/7

Old Rope Hosted by award-winning Phil Nichol and very funny Tiffany Stevenson, established comics come down to Komedia to try out new material. Komedia, 8pm, £8.50/6.50

Saturday 15 Cheeky Devil A great Saturday night show in friendly surroundings. Compered by Paul McCaffrey and with turns from Wendy Wason, Tom Deacon, Aaron Counter and Laura Mugridge. The Sanctuary, 8pm, £10/8

Terrence Reed by Pablo Perezzarate

City limits When you are living at the margins of a city, are you ‘abandoned and forgotten’ or the ‘best kept secret’? Themes of home and belonging are explored within this multimedia installation by Pablo Perezzarate. Listen to local residents talk about what makes their place unique as you walk amidst the back-lit images displayed around the gallery. Through the use of photography and sound, Beyond Boundary Road explores the local community of Portslade, located on the boundary of Brighton and Hove city. A Brighton Photo Fringe exhibition. Beyond Boundary Road, Blank Studios & Gallery, until 16 November, open daily 10.30am–6pm

BLANK STUDIOS & GALLERY 108 North Street, Portslade Beyond Boundary Road Multimedia installation by Pablo Perezzarate. The local community of Portslade is explored through photography and sound in this Brighton Photo Fringe exhibition. Until 16 November, open daily 10.30am–6pm

BRIGHTON MUSEUM AND ART GALLERY Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 292882 Lives Less Photographed: Working Class Life in Brighton, 1860-1935 Exhibition that reveals some rare images of local working class life: the people, and the lost areas of Brighton in which they lived. Until 26 April 2009 Susan Trangmar: A Play In Time Intimate study of St. Ann’s Well Gardens. Until 16 Nov, Tue 10am–7pm, Wed-Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm

BRIGHTON MEDIA CENTRE 15-17 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 697096 Battle Ground A photographic exhibition by Light Motives, a group of seven photographers, which looks at the nature of conflict in its sociological, cultural, philosophic and historical framework. Until 16 November, Mon–Fri 10am–6pm, Sat & Sun 11am–4:6pm

DE LA WARR PAVILION Little Hair! Improvised comedy keeping the laughs as fresh as you can get them. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £5

ART LISTINGS

Bexhill-on-Sea 01424 229111 The Sublime Image of Destruction Battlefield ‘aftermath’ images with bleak,

lyrical and painterly images by Simon Norfolk, Paul Seawright and Broomberg and Chanarin. Until 4 Jan, Mon–Sun 10am–6pm

FABRICA 40 Duke Street, Brighton 01273 778646 Thomas Hirschhorn: The Incommensurable Banner Hirschhorn makes images that draws upon pictures of bodies torn apart by modern munitions. Until 16 November, Wed–Sat, 11.30am–5pm, Sun, 2–5pm

UNIVERSITY OF BRIGHTON Garnd Parade, Brighton, 01273 643010 Iraq Through The Lens of Vietnam This Brighton Photo Biennal exhibition shows images from all sides in the conflicts and includes work by Tim Page, Larry Burrows, Don McCullin and Philip Jones Griffiths. Until 15 November, Mon–Sat 10am–5pm

PHOENIX GALLERY 10–14 Waterloo Place, Brighton, 01273 603700 Entre-deux New work arising out of a photographic exchange project involving Phoenix Brighton and French partner Diaphane. Part of Brighton Photo Fringe Until 6 Dec, Tues–Sat 11am–5pm

BLUE DOG 20 Gardner Street, Brighton 01273 622440 Eyes Wide Open Brighton photo Fringe exhibition plus works by contemporary artists at this excellent addition to the gallery scene in Brighton. Until 16 November, Mon–Sat 11am–5.30pm, Sundays 12–5pm


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KIDS&EVENTS

BOOKS

EVENTSHIGHLIGHTS

Write club

The Mighty Boosh book signing The Mighty Boosh aka Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt are in Brighton for their sell-out show this Saturday. Beforehand, there’s the chance to get a signed copy of The Mighty Book of Boosh. The book is a chance to venture deeper into the surreal world of this prize-winning show through the stories and pictures of Howard Moon, Vince Noir, Naboo, Bollo, Bob Fossil, and the rest of the cast. Retailing at £19.99 for the hardcover edition, grab your Mighty book and take it along to the Brighton Centre to get your copy signed by the boys. Tickets and books for the signing are not available from the Brighton Centre. Tickets are only available from City Books, 23 Western Road, Hove, BN3 1AF. Call 01273 725 306 The book signing takes place at the Brighton Centre, Kings Road, Brighton at 1pm.

Events at Coldean Library The newly opened Coldean Library is following the city centre Jubilee Library by hosting music and rhyme classes for toddlers and their families. Now, people who live in East Brighton and around the Hollingbury area can benefit from learning sessions at their local library. The sessions are part of a programme of events at the facility in Beatty Avenue just announced by the council. On the first Monday of each month, Baby Boogie classes take place between 9.15 and 9.45. Art, singing and stories for under-fives also happen the third Tuesday of each month, year-round between 3.30 and 5pm. Coldean library also runs a homework club every Monday from 3.30 to 5pm during termtime. For the adults, a housing benefits advice surgery occurs fortnightly between 2.30 and 4pm. The next date is Monday 24 November. Cabinet member for culture Cllr David Smith said: “These new services stem from our priority to increase opportunities for people – particularly for learning. It’s important to have services available where people can easily access them.“ For more info visit www.citylibraries.info or call 01273 296902 Coldean Library, Library Court, 24 Beatty Avenue, Brighton, BN1 9EW.

Children in Need There are plenty of fundraising events taking place for Children in Need (CIN) this month. If you’re not sat at home tuned in to the happenings on BBC, get along to Hove Town Hall, where Captain Bob presents his annual shindig to raise funds for CIN. 12 Stone Toddler headline and there’s plenty of events and festivities for all ages to enjoy. Get your tickets from the Brighton Centre and Hove Centre box office, Rounder Records or Hove Town Hall. Saturday 15 November, Hove Town Hall, 6.30pm, £6.

For complete listings go to thelatest.co.uk

Looking for love? John Davies explores a world where a young woman’s search for a husband becomes a spiritual quest When people talk of Brighton and Hove being a multicultural city, I always have a chuckle. I’m from Birmingham, Britain’s largest local authority and one of the most culturally diverse cities in Europe. It’s affectionately known as the Holy City. The reason for that goes back to the time of the Cadbury’s when Brum was a city ruled by the hand of Temperance. But Brum is holy in other ways too. Even in the seventies, there were around forty different types of belief with established places of worship plus many more sects and cults. That number has no doubt increased dramatically, but now one faith makes Birmingham’s monica ring truer than ever. It’s forecast that by 2015 the majority of the population will be Muslim. By 1980 I was ‘last man standing’ in Birmingham amongst my peers and my family. My mother’s family had been silversmiths in the city at least since the 1600s yet not one relation nor one school friend remained there. Voluntarily, they (as I was soon to do) joined that little discussed phenomenon known as ‘white flight’. It’s still going on quietly and inevitably – to Cornwall, Scotland, the Hebrides, Ireland and Australasia. It’s all part of a swirling pattern of worldwide migration that seems to leave many people, of many different creeds and backgrounds, feeling somehow homeless, with no sense of belonging. The reason for mentioning all this is that I have just read a despatch from the front line of cultural tectonics. Nasreen Akhtar has written the kind of book I would never normally read, a personal memoir of a young woman seeking a husband – Catch a Fish from the Sea (Using the Internet). I’m halfway through reading it but I’m hooked. For the casual reader it’s a romantic journey. But it’s also a fascinating insight into the mind of a young person who sees themselves as both British, Islamic and South Asian. This multiple-layered ethnicity is both a blessing and a burden. Catch a Fish... is about trying to find a cultural as well as a marriage partner. After a slow start it gathers narrative pace as Nasreen gets involved with an ardent admirer who forces her to re-examine her attitude to Islam. The book becomes a journal of a spiritual quest. Some of us may feel it’s misguided, but there is no denying Nasreen’s honesty and passion. ‘I was scared lonely and lost. Walking in the dark, not knowing where I was going, feeling that I had not belonged anywhere. However, for the first time in my life, I felt at ease. Amongst this room of total strangers I mattered, and there was a place for me. I realised that all the colours of mankind from Africa to Indonesia to Canada to Pakistan to Brazil and Albania, we were all connected by one thing: our belief… This Islam thing wasn’t bad. It was supposed to be bad but then why was it making me feel good?’ I look forward to reading the remaining chapters and telling you more. One thought occurs to me though. Beyond belief, perhaps we’re all connected by displacement?

EVENTSLISTINGS

BOOKSLISTINGS

Tuesday 11

Thursday 13

Thursday 20

Catalyst Club Special Two authors in debate. Latest Music Bar (formerly Joogleberry Playhouse), 7:30pm, £6.

An Audience With Tony Benn Hear first hand some of the stories in his diaries from 1942–1990, and the next volume ' Free at Last' from 1990–2001. The Hawth, 7:30pm, £15.

Buzz Community Dance Group Creative dance that welcomes people with and without disabilities. St Richard's Church Hall, 7pm–8:15pm, £4 adults/2 children.

Buy tickets from Brighton Centre and Hove Centre box offices, Rounder, Resident and the receptionists at Brighton Town Hall, Hove Town Hall and King’s House. Hove Town Hall, 6:30pm, £6.

Wednesday 12

Saturday 15

Brighton City Singers Weekly meet for those who love to sing. Somerhill Junior School, 8pm–10pm

Dances of Life Transformation Personal dance workshop about expressing yourself and developing a caring connection with yourself. Call 01273 401973 or visit www.biodanzabrighton.org.uk to confirm venue. 2pm–7pm, £40/35 for both days, £25/20 for one day. Also Sun 16.

Friday 14 BBC Children in Need event Fundraiser with Captain Bob. 12 Stone Toddler headline.

28 latest 7

To feature in kids email editorial@thelatest.co.uk

Poetry South Poetry from Annie Freud and Muso Okwango. Redroaster Café, 8pm, £6/4

Wednesday 19 Shoreham Writers Showcase Readings of poems and short stories on a Shoreham theme, with wine and nibbles. Tickets from Shoreham library. Shoreham Library, 7pm

High Octane Short Story Slam 500 words max on the theme of 'Fancy.' Take your fiction to the mic to win £££s. Komedia, 8:30pm, £5. 11am–4pm, £30.


032_LS398 Music_News

7/11/08

2:03 PM

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latest music ★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★

NEWS

Cool as folk Taking folk into the mainstream, Seth Lakeman is one of the leading exponents of this much maligned genre. He talks to Jeff Hemmings

Ben Waters

Ranelagh roots The Ranelagh pub is a great little venue up St James’s Street, and it is hosting an eight-day celebration that began on Sunday 9 November. The pub is renowned as a blues pub with some folk and roots part of its live music agenda. Acts playing include the Grammy nominated bluesman Kent DuChaine and Lenna & The Snakeman. Roots At The Ranelagh, until Sunday 16 November

Children In Need Captain Bob has confirmed the new line-up for this year’s Children in Need gig on 14 November. Following DJ Captain Bob, the Astonishing and Spiderbaby, The Splendour will hit the stage at 9pm. This exuberant five piece have hooks a-plenty and an undertow of pantomime villainy. As do headliners 12 Stone Toddler, fresh from a series of summer festivals including performances at Glastonbury, Larmer Tree and Beautiful Days. 12 Stone Toddler

Finally breaking off the shackles of the finger-inthe-ear, Arran-sweater wearing, murder balladry purism of traditional folk that saw its stock fall as dramatically as the world’s share exchanges, folk music has been enjoying a renaissance, equal to its post-war heyday of the ‘60s, when folkies such as Bert Jansch and The Incredible String Band rubbed shoulders with the big stars of the day. Seth Lakeman is one of those leading the charge, culminating in his recent top ten album Poor Man’s Heaven. “It’s a coastal concept album,” says Seth. “Poor Man’s Heaven is a working class rant aimed at the rich, and there’s songs about greedy pirates and heartbroken sailors and a true story about the Penlee lifeboat disater of 1981 (‘Solomon Burke’) which has just been released as a single.” Despite rugged good looks, an energetic stage show, a strong folk background and a relentless touring schedule, all artists need a bit of a break and for Lakeman it came in the form of being Mercury Music Prize nominated for his low budget, self-released, Kitty Jay album back in ‘05, an album full of traditional songs about Dartmoor, where he lives. “Yes, that really made a difference. Suddenly I was getting a,lot of recognition and it all helped,” says Seth. “I grew up with folk; my parents ran a folk club in Plymouth and from the age of seven I would hang out there and meet people such as Martin Carthy and Tom McConville, who left a bit of their expertise with me.” Having learnt the violin and guitar he started recording and playing gigs in earnest, firstly with his brothers Sam

and Sean (Sam is a guitarist in his band) and then all three were invited to play with Kate Rusby and Kathryn Roberts, becoming the band Equation which signed with Time Warner and released three albums. Seth stayed with the band for six years before embarking on a solo career, and in seven short years he has become folk star, but one whose appeal is broadening out with each tour and each festival appearance. How would he describe his style? “I play the fiddle, stamp my foot and sing loudly over a driving violin,” he says. “We also have a double-bass, drums, and a few bits of weird and wonderful percussion – it’s all acoustic, but quite in your face.” And that’s what Seth likes most about it all, combining the traditons of folk with the driving groove and beat of modern dance. It’s folk music, Jim, but not as we know it. Corn Exchange, Tuesday 18 November

UPCOMING GIGS

James They’ve been making records since the early ‘80s but it was the ‘90s that saw them achieve commercial success. Recently reformed they are still a formidable live act, and possess a truly rabid following. Tuesday 9 December, Brighton Dome, 01273 709709

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Cardiacs 17 November, Komedia The Whip 18 November, Concorde 2 Ryan Adams 19 November, Dome Roddy Frame 20 November, Komedia Guillemots 22 November, St Georges Church Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds 23 November, Brighton Centre Nouvelle Vague 24 November, Corn Exchange Leonard Cohen 28 November,Brighton Centre Kings Of Leon 1 December, Brighton Centre Primal Scream 2 December, Dome Alabama 3 2 & 3 December, Concorde 2 Fujiya & Miyagi 3 December, Pav Theatre Will Young 4 December, Dome Human League 5 December, Brighton Centre Neville Staple 6 December, Concorde 2 Joan As Policewoman 7 Dec, Concorde 2

Jools Holland 6 December, Brighton Centre James 9 December, Dome Counting Crows 11 Dec, Brighton Centre Blind Boys of Alabama 12 December, Dome Status Quo 12 December, Brighton Centre Maddy Prior 15 December, Hove Centre Stereophonics 16 December, Brighton Centre The Fratellis 17 December, Dome The Damned 20 December, Komedia Sensational Alex Harvey Band 22 Dec, Concorde 2 Bad Manners 23 Dec, Concorde 2 The Streets 28 January, Dome Richard Thompson 31 January, Dome Keane 10 February, Brighton Centre Elbow 28 February, Dome David Byrne 14 April, Dome

If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk


033_LS398 music previews/Jaime

11/6/08

1:31 PM

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MUSIC

CLUBS

Jaime ‘til dawn

MUSIC

Jaime Pettit heads out to make her ears bleed with the best at Trash Mondays at Brighton Coalition There should be a label on the door as I arrived completely unarmed. I’d almost forgotten the insatiable stench of stale sweat and beer unmarred by smoke since the ban. I hit the wall and remembered the heightened sense of a sober nose! Realising that deodorant couldn’t save anyone from imitating the odour of a rotten vodka carcass, I vowed never to club again without steeling myself first with a cheeky sambucca. It was like a Mad Hatter’s Tea Party inside as girls and boys adorned in bow ties, stockings, cowboy hats and maid attire started ‘going insane’ to ‘Disturbia’ performing new moves such as the jazzy teapot and Teletubby on acid. Even the lost lambs of Carnage had detoured from the cattle route to the allure of a club where the girls were just that pretty. As one ‘womaniser’ told the girls they were ‘fit’, they simply replied ‘yes we are’ and carried on dancing. I felt like a dog in a car boot as I fought to remain standing amongst sweeping mops and ground-breaking volume. With trashy chart hits at such a volume, you’ll go home, look your iPod right in the eyes and say: “I’ve found someone else“. The pitiful speakers of an iPod and its dock are faint sounds of the past. P!nk’s ‘So What’ is only given true spirit when your ears bleed as you punch the air in a flat-out bouncing fit! Thus we did. With free entry creating a gateway clear of queues and smart price alcohol on express tap, Coalition wishes you student-types a very happy unbirthday – every week.

Belleruche Kora Talk about multi-cultural. This New Zealand band fuses reggae and dub with straightforward rock and even moments of industrial metal. Oddly addictive stuff. Tuesday 11 November, Komedia NA Solange Beyonce’s little sister finally steps of the international superstar’s shadow as Solange releases her second solo record, Sol-Angel and the Hadley St. Dreams. It’d be easy to assume nepotism, but her decent, old-fashioned Motown soul sound sets her apart from her R’n’B peers. Tuesday 11 November, Komedia NA Mercury Rev Personally, I don’t think they’ve done a great deal since their one great album Deserter’s Songs back in ‘98. And I really cannot handle Jonathan Donahue’s whiny vocal for more than a couple of songs. But, hey! Their slightly sleazy/art rock’n’roll look has won them plenty of admirers. Tuesday 11 November, Dome JH

Photos by: Rob DeBanks@Trash Mondays, Brighton Coalition

Pampero Fundacion: Hold Fire + Kovak Interesting idea here: live music, live art and it’s all for free! Local indie rockers headline. Wednesday 12 November, Audio NA Micah P. Hinson Evocative, old-time altcountry from this at times troubled performer. Recent album, The Red Empire Orchestra, is his best and is a rounded affair, both light & dark. Wednesday 12 November, Hanbury Club JH Okkervil River This Austin, Texas outfit are no less than awesome. Blending energetic, Bright Eyes-style Americana with some deviously anthemic choruses, this showcase for latest

“The greatest gift to get To advertise this year is life” here costs Give a meaningful Christmas gift this year. Every minute in Ethiopia a woman dies from complications related to pregnancy or childbirth with a lifetime risk of 1 in 7, and an estimated 1 million babies die shortly after. For only £15 you can sponsor a safe birth in Africa and we will send a personalised certificate to your loved one. To help go to www.maternityworldwide.org/gifts.html By post: cheques payable to ‘Maternity Worldwide’, noting donor’s name and the recipients name & address Maternity Worldwide, Unit 9 Level 4, New England House, New England St, Brighton BN1 4GH 01273 682241

www.maternityworldwide.org If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk

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record, The Stand-Ins, should be memorable. Wednesday 12 November, Concorde 2 NA Belleruche Turntable soul from this London three-piece. Katherine DeBoer, Ricky Fabulous and DJ Modest deliver easy-going, stripped back, Motown meets vintage trip-hop grooves and samples – simple, yet effective. Friday 14 November, Audio JH Spizzenergi Punk art rockers best known for the classic ‘Where’s Captain Kirk?’ and for their annual name changes (SpizzOil, Atheltico Spizz 80’ etc) who seem to have reformed recently. Should be very interesting. Saturday 15 November, Prince Albert JH I Heart Nights: Mechanical Bride + Marcus Hessenberg and the Tulips A brilliant line-up here of ethereal folk locals and eclectic, eccentric electro-popsters. Best of all, it’s free, so there’s no excuse not to check out two of Brighton’s best bands. Saturday 15 November, Grand Central NA Chatham County Line + Alan Tyler & The Lost Sons of Littlefield North Carolina quartet fusing old-time bluegrass with a love for John Hartford, The Band, The Jayhawks, Wilco, and traditional American-made music. Support from UK country star Alan Tyler. Monday 17 November, King & Queen JH Stars & Sons The brainchild of Mike Lucas, featuring Paul Steel, this is definitely one to look out for; contagious indie pop with plenty of musical bravado, and tonnes of melody. Check out their The Goat Show EP. Monday 17 November, Latest Music Bar JH

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034_LS398 music_reviews_chart

6/11/08

2:42 PM

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MUSIC

MUSIC REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases It’s odd to see these old hairy rock bands from the 70s and 80s reform, and try and strut their stuff as if they are in their 20s. Weird, huh? One of the all-time greats, AC/DC refuse to grow up; they sound exactly the same, still trade in schoolboy puerility, and look like men who your dad warned you about. In Angus Young, their lead guitarist and prime mover, they possess one of the icons of modern rock ’n’ roll, still dressing up in schoolboy attire, albeit in nice and expensive velvet threads. Black Ice, their new album, could have been made in 1980, but as we all know, 2008 is the new 1980. Unlikely success story Ben Folds continues his upward trajectory with Way To Normal, once again displaying his hyper-active piano playing style, that combined with an acute ear for melody, and a strong penchant for 70s soft rock has won him an unlikely degree of fame and fortune. However, he’s gone too far here, veering dangerously close to the putrefied wasteland of MOR, and his look-at-me, aren’t I mad cuteness is really starting to grate. Ben, you’ve become a real disappointment to us, and a sad parody of your former self. Sort it out! Wakefield Trio The Research sounds convincingly American on their second album, The Old Terminal, full of gloriously dreamy, 60s influenced songs, that emit wafts of upbeat optimism despite the sometimes plaintiveness of lead singer Russell Searle. Hull indie punks The Paddingtons continue to make and release melodic, vibrant and fizzing pop punk gems, with new album No Mundane Options, full of the stuff. There’s a little of The Pixies and The Libertines strewn about, but their all-round eclecticism marks them out as one to watch. Two years have passed since Atlanta four-piece Deerhunter’s debut album alerted the world to a bold new talent. The waiting’s over as second record Microcastle is released. A striking mix of laid-back dEus-style avant-poprock cool and more spacey Sonic Youth arty ethereality, Microcastle comes complete with a special bonus disc full of brand new (often brilliant) songs, Weird Era Continued. Creative enough to set them apart from their peers though accessible enough to warrant repeated listens. With Pitchshifter on indefinite hiatus and The Prodigy stuck in the recording studio, there’s a definite lack of harder-edged dance/metal crossover acts at the moment. It’s timely, then, that Prodigy collaborator DJ Hyper’s new band, just Hyper, release their extremely dirty-sounding debut album, Suicide Tuesday, blending industrial guitars and bass-heavy beats with appearances from The Prodigy’s Leeroy Thornhill and Pitchshifter’s Jim Davies. Brighton boy-girl acoustic partnership Bitter Ruin have built up a strong local following. With their debut album, We’re Not Dancing, out now, they confirm their status as one of Brighton’s very best bands. Blending idiosyncratic, melancholy vocals with Dresden Dolls-style dark cabaret theatricality, they may not be dancing, but they sound amazing.

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Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10

★ 1 Stupid Kid – Lost ★ 2 Tom Ayres – Confidence Problem 3 No Sharp Objects – Home 4 Amongst The Pigeons – Deep Housey 5 Jaybee – Miles To Go 6 N-D-E – Incredible Machine 7 Chaos Borne – Watching 8 The Long Goodbye – For a Long Time 9 Mr Resonate – The Opposite Vibe 10 Mr Resonate – Say What You Mean A new number one this week in the form of idiosyncratic, classical influenced rapper Stupid Kid and his epic-sounding ‘Lost’. Meanwhile, acoustic singer-songwriter Tom Ayres moves up to two, moody country-infused rockers No Sharp Objects leap to three and chart mainstays Amongst The Pigeons and Jaybee occupy four and five. 11 Mr Resonate All That I’m Not 12 sMs I’m Sorry Dave 13 The Wasp Factory Postcards 14 Breakinbear Breeze 15 Frunt, Bak & Nutz The Rites Of Wolf 16 Hatchdown Come Down Easy 17 North Laine Crys 18 The Mojo Fins Always Now 19 St.Michel Remedy 20 Caramel Jack Curtain 21 Indigo Star The Pearl 22 Caramel Jack We Could Build Skyscrapers 23 Taboo Duet 24 Guerrilla Audio Another Life 25 The Long Goodbye For A Long Time

26 12 Stone Toddler Under the Weather 27 Jonny Loves House Not Just In My Head 28 sMs Airport Dreaming 29 Lostaura Chevron 30 The Howling Misunderstood 31 Guerrilla Audio Cry Wolf 32 Django Spears Saturday Night 33 Greenkeepers Caught Up feat Magdalena Reising 34 Legs MC Push 35 Sparker Dark Lane 36 Cath O’Drae Sofageddon 37 My Fabric Changes 38 Leader The Other Side 39 Jaybee Sweet Savage 40 Deadbeat Descendant Journeys Around My Room

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035_LS398_music_listings

11/4/08

2:26 PM

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MUSIC

For complete listings go to thelatest.co.uk/7

MUSIC& CLUBLISTINGS 11 – 17 Nov Tuesday 11 Live Music 3 Daft Monkeys High octane Cornish folk band who have supported The Levellers. Komedia, 8:30pm, £8 The Burlettes 1940s-style girl group with a twist. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5/4 Catapult + Riot Riot + Cha Cha Local new wave rockers. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Feeder + The Chemists Slightly dull nineties pop-rockers with a few anthems under their belt. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £tbc. Katie Melua Dad's favourite doe-eyed chanteuse. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £32.50 Kora Talented New Zealanders fusing reggae, industrial and metal. A little like Faith No More jamming with Hot Chip. Komedia, 7:30pm, £10 Live Music Cafe Singer songwriter showcase. Acts TBC. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £2 Mercury Rev + Howling Bells New York psyche-rock mavericks once hailed as the 'new REM'. Not quite, but still at times magnificent. Corn Exchange, 8pm, £18/16 Solange Beyonce’s sister is a lot more old fashioned; soul diva action to the max. Or something. Komedia, 8pm, £tbc. Bars and clubs Audio Snide. Tight-trousered hipster indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 Brighton Coalition Latin Fever. Latin music to get your juices flowing. 10pm–2am, free. Digital Glitterati. A classy night for student types. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Pavilion Tavern Guerrilla Rocks. Indie, rock, metal and emo mash-up. 10:30pm–2am, £1–£3 Po Na Na Sweet. Commercial R’n’B, Funky House and Baseline influenced tracks with Juice FM's Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £5/3 Tru Bandwagon. Student night; club anthems, old school R&B; house 10pm–2:30am, £1–£3 Water Margin International Student Party. Drinks promos all night! 10pm–5am, £5/3

Wednesday 12 Live Music Biff! Bang! Pow! presents: My Name In Lights + The Shoestrung Pop-rock. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5/4 Breakthrough in Association with Captcha: The Red Light Company + Scheme Eugene Hot indie tips. Brighton Coalition, 7:30pm, free. Chris Helme Singer-songwriter compared to legends such as Townes Van Zandt and Neil Young. Komedia, 8pm, £6 Club NME: Doll and the Kicks + Riot Riot All-girl Brighton indie rockers. Brighton Coalition, 10:30pm, free Hazel O'Connor with Cormac De Barra in Beyond Breaking Glass Cabaret. Komedia, 8pm, £14/12 The Legendary Bee's Mouth Open Mic Bee's Mouth, 8:30pm, free. Micah P Hinson + Retribution Gospel Choir Haunting singer-songwriter supported by Alan Sparhawk of Low's side-project. Hanbury Club, 8pm, £12.50–£14.50 Okkervil River Awesome, sneakily anthemic Texan indie/Americana. Komedia, 7pm, £11.50 Open Mac Night Open mic night for electronic music. Bring your laptops and samplers. Sidewinder, 9pm, free Stripped Down and Out Loud: Jaime Regan Ghostbirds frontman plays haunting, downbeat rock. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, free. True Primes Noisy, slow burning rock/dance hybrid set to blow the tiny Hope wide open. The Hope, 8pm, £8/6 Bars and clubs Arc Life is Easy. A Mid-week interlude of indie classic new and old. 10pm, free–£1 Audio Pampero Fundacion Presents. A new club night celebrating grassroots creativity, showcasing live new music and the UK’s freshest street art stars. free, 7.30pm Audio Supercharged Mid-week breaks with Freestylers and Adsorb. 11pm–2:30am, £7/6 Brighton Coalition Club NME. A beerfest for All Stars wearing rock/indie fans with live NME

bands and Brighton DJs. 10:30pm–3:30am, free. Funky Buddha Lounge We Luv 90s. Nineties classics. 90p, 10.30pm Water Margin Genetics. Playing a mixture of intelligent, liquid, neuro and darkside D’n’B. 10pm–6am, £2/free

Thursday 13 Live Music Albert Lee + Hogan’s Heroes Rock and roll country with one of the world’s finest guitar players. Komedia, 8:30pm, £18.50 Anje Duvekot American folk singer-songwriter. Komedia, 8pm, £10/8 Blue Aeroplanes Experimental, veteran Bristol guitar rock. Concorde 2, 7:30pm, £11 Impressions Young musicians give their take on the jazz classics. Bee’s Mouth, 9pm, free. Les Oeufs + Aaron King + Andrew Vespertine Eggs-citing night of music. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc. Live Music Cafe Singer-songwriter showcase. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £2 The Magic Duo Gypsy jazz. The Pelham Arms, 8pm, free. Rory McLeod Ex-circus clown and fire eater! One man soul band, poet and storyteller. A true folk maverick. Royal Oak (Lewes), 8pm, £6 Sound Factory Stripped: Gavin McCann + Fat By Proxy Acoustic singer-songwriters. The Providence, 8pm, £1 Steve Tilston + Martha Tilston Genre straddling folk singer-songwriter supported by his daughter. The Greys, 8pm, £tbc. Take Stock Five singers sing hits from the sixties to the nineties. Bali Brasserie, 8pm, £tbc. Bars and clubs Arc Pop Rocks. Indie, pop, rock, cheese and more! 10:30pm–2am, £3/1 Audio Mad For It. Indie.10:30pm- 3am, £3/1.50 Digital Thursday Club Presents. Infamous electronic dance act, Pendulum with support from The Qemists and JFB. 10pm, £11 The Hope Brap FM. Downtempo to Techno. 8pm–2am, free. Ocean Rooms Therapy. USBU official SOCFED night. 10:30pm–3am, £3/2 Po Na Na Off The Wall. Funk, soul and Motown from the 50s to present day. 10pm–3am, £2

Friday 14 Live Music An Evening with Kenny Clayton Pianist and composer who has worked with Shirley Bassey, Matt Monro and Petula Clark. The Old Market, 7pm, £21 Blue Concept Quartet Brighton Jazz Club event. Komedia, 8pm, £12/10 Children In Need: The Astonishing + Spiderbaby + The Splendour + 12 Stone Toddler Infinitely better than staying in for the annual celeb TV smug-fest. Hove Town Hall, 8pm, £6 The Critical + The Receeders + Dog End Disco Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc. Fat 45 + Django Spears Party-starting big band ska. Concorde 2, 11pm, £8 The Message feat Mr B The Gentleman Rhymer Hip-hop.The Hope, 8pm, £4/3 Mick Terry Rock, blues and pop. Bali Brasserie, 8pm, £tbc. Monotonix Tel Aviv punks warm-up for their ATP: Nightmare Before Xmas show. Freebutt, 7:30pm, £tbc. Roland Chadwick Aussie guitar wizard. The Neptune, 8:30pm, free. Sound Factory: Shotgun Eddie + The Silence + Evil Genius Rock night. The Providence, 8pm, £1 Wide Eyed Order Gypsy folk rockers. Cobbler’s Thumb, 9pm, free. Bars and clubs 2 One One Lollipop. R’n’B and Hip Hop. 11pm–3am, free b4 11:30pm Arc Some Kind of Wonderful. Sixties Night. 11pm–3am, £2 Audio Square Roots. JME, with DJ Maximum

➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory for details

and more TBC! 11pm, £tbc. Brighton Coalition Aegean Nights. Add a Mediterranean flavour to your weekend with international and Greek music from Athensbased, DJ Nik. 10:30pm–4am, £5 Digital Stone Love. 101% indie rock’n’roll with DJ and live bands. 11pm–3am, £4 Engine Rooms Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock alternative for eyeliner’d up boys and girls in PVC. 11pm- 3am, £5/3 Funky Buddha Lounge Thank Funk It’s Friday. Start the weekend with Sean Quinn’s party tunes. Feel the magic. 10pm–3am, £8/free. Funky Fish The Funkyfish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £5/3.50 Hectors House D.I.S.C. D.I.S.C. residents play indie, great pop, electro, nu disco, wonk and party. 9pm–2am, free. Honey Club Honey. It’s all about fun, fashion, flirtation and quality house boshed out by DJ Steve Westover and guests. 10pm–3am, £5–£8 Komedia Balkaneasca. Andy Satellite and Nico serve up a frenzied mix of brass-heavy Gypsy Beats, plus live musicians. 11pm, £6/5 Ocean Rooms 12FU. Alternative electro dance floor party. 11pm–4am, £5/3 Pavilion Tavern Kick Out The Jams. Rock’n’Roll mayhem sploshed together with beer, indie anthems and punk. 10:30pm–3am, £5/3 Po Na Na Ice Box. Funky house night for a dressed up crowd. 10pm–3am, £5/4 Sidewinder Webb Twisco. Disco, deep house, broken beat and underground soul music. 9pm–2am, free. Tru Skint. A choice of 3! Playing mainstream funky house, R’n’B and Cheesey disco hits. 10pm–2:30am, £3/free. Volks Carbon. Brighton’s leading underground D‘n‘B event. With guest DJS plus Kion and Unlikely grimey downstairs. 11pm–5am, £5 Water Margin B-Side. Tech and filthy electro with Tiger Lily and Paul My Fingah. 2am, £5

Saturday 15 Live Music Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Dvorak’s Three Slavonic Dances, Beethoven’s Piano Concerto No.5 in E Flat ‘Emperor’ and Tchaikovsky's Symphony No 6 in B Minor Pathetique. Brighton Dome, 7:30pm, £tbc. Con O’Neil’s Harmonica Workshop Visit harmonicateacher@hotmail.co.uk. Beginner’s course. Latest Music Bar, 10pm, £25 Electrocious presents: Miss Pain + Tim Ten Yen + The Good Natured Brighton electropoppers launch new single. Support from Newbury electro-acoustic lady The Good Natured. Hope, 8pm, £6/5 Friday Night Hero + Saw Gang Buzz + The Vinyls + South of Saturn Brighton indie rockers. Hectors House, 8pm, free. I Heart Nights: Mechanical Bride + Marcus Hessenberg and the Tulips Brilliant line-up of ethereal folk locals and eclectic, eccentric electro-popsters. And it’s FREE! Sweet. Grand Central, 8pm, free. Shauna Parker and The Saloon Bar Band Western swing, American and country folk. The Brunswick, 8pm, £5 Sound Factory: Spooky Panties + The Lanes + My Element Indie . Providence, 8pm, £1 Spizzenergi + Dates Prince Albert,7:30pm,£tbc Sussex Chorus Brahms’ German Requiem and Academic Festival Overture, along with Dvorak’s Te Deum. St Bartholomews, 7:30pm, £9.50–20 Woodland Recordings: Vitamin B12 + Cirque de Morte Anarchic music and performance. Komedia, 8pm, £donations Bars and clubs Arc Hold Up. indie 10:30pm- 4am, £5 Audio SOL Presents: Winter Sessions. Early winter love with guest DJs. 10pm- 4am, free Brighton Coalition Pukka Up. Present the Pukka up Manifesto! Marshalled by the dirty pukka cops, grab free protest boards and badges to a house soundtrack! 11pm–3am, £10/8 Digital Playroom. Funky House and Dirty Electro Grooves dolled out by Nippa, Alex Outram and Tastemakers. Complete with ball pond, bouncy castle and space hoppers! 11pm–4am, £12 Engine Rooms Classic Rock. Classic rock fest from AC/DC to Zeppelin. 11pm–3am, £5 Esca Saturdays@Esca. DJ Drkhrse plays the best in deep and sexy house. 9pm–2am, free. Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Disco,

Pendulum, Thursday funk, house and rare groove from Juice Fm's Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10 Funky Fish The Funkyfish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £6/3.50 Honey Club Sevensins. Big room electro, trance and house with guests. 10:30pm–5am, £12/5 Ocean Rooms We Love Brighton. With a cabinet of prestigious DJ gongs including a lifetime achievement award, Alfredo hits up Brighton. 11pm–4am, £tbc Pavilion Tavern Drop Zone. Dark, Heavy, Glam, Alternative Dance. 10:30pm–3am, £2–£4 Volks Brighton Sounds. old skool, reggae, D‘n‘B, jungle & old garage. 10pm–4am, £tbc. Water Margin Logo. DJs spin house tunes til dawn. 3am–8am, £7/5

Sunday 16 Live Music Brighton and Hove (actually) Gay Men’s Chorus Gala The Old Market, 7:30pm, £8 Club Fandango: Oh No, Oh My! + Stars and Sons Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc. Dirty Scavenger Female-fronted grunge trio. Sidewinder, 8pm, free. James Apollo US American singer songwriter. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £tbc. Mim Fest: Twice The Size + The Pulse Skapunk charity event. Hare & Hounds, 7pm, free. Pete Mabey + Roger Hind Quartet Sunday lunch jazz. Ravenswood, Sharpthorne, 8pm, free. Roast’n’Jazz: Terry Seabrook Top UK latin jazz. Latest Music Bar, 12:30pm, £10 inc dinner. Robert Brown Folkrock. Neptune, 8:30pm, free Scenic Routes + Loz Bridge + The Box Social Acoustic folk and experimental blues. Latest Music Bar, 7pm, £4 Bars and clubs Arc Irie. Rudeben and Pheva play host to a shake up of Ragga, R’n’B, Hip Hop and Garage. 10pm–3am, £5/3 Honey Club Sundelicious. Lee Garrett, Salerno play house & soul beats.10pm–3am, £2/1 The Open House We Change The Frequency. Aall things diverse from Radiohead, Madlib, National Forest and Playgroup. 8pm, free.

Monday 17 Live Music The Bee’s Mouth Jazz Forum A house band welcomes all comers and every performer gets a free drink! Bee's Mouth, 8:30pm, free. Chatham County Line + Alan Tyler and the Sons of Littlefield Country rockers. King and Queen, 8pm, £tbc. Contact venue for details. The H'Open Mic The Hope, 8:30pm, free. Kreg Viesselman Ravenswood, Sharpthorne, 8pm, free. Murcof + grup instrumental bcn216 + Oren Marshall Mexican electronica with mad visuals. Duke of York's, 8:30pm, £10/9 Oxjam Presents... Prince Albert, 7:30pm, £tbc. Bars and clubs Brighton Coalition Trash Mondays. Filthy fun with all your fave tunes. 10:30pm–3am, free. Funky Buddha Lounge Urban Lounge. DJs Outbreak, Rudeben and Dubl break out the best in Old skool garage, R‘n‘B, Hip Hop, Bashment and swing. 10:30pm–3am, £3/2 Honey Club Disco Babe. Disco and indie with drinks £1.50 all night. 10:30pm–2:30am, £3/1 Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys. Student cocktail of funk, reggae, indie & pop. 10pm–2:30am, £3/1 Volks Strictly Reggae. Dancehall, bashment, roots and revival. 10pm, £4.50/3.50 Music by Nick Aldwinckle Clubs and Bars by Jaime Pettit latest 7 35


036_LS398 gay news/will

11/7/08

2:59 PM

Page 2

LATESTGAY

See more at thelatest.co.uk

Brighton’s only weekly gay guide

William Tells

NEWS

Will Harris gets invited to a family wedding and feels the love…

Night of stars Stonewall came together for a wonderful night of celebration and acknowledgement An MP who called homosexuality “an abomination“ has been declared Stonewall's bigot of the year. Iris Robinson, MP for Strangford, Northern Ireland, earlier this year said in a Westminster debate: “There can be no viler act, apart from homosexuality, than sexually abusing innocent children.“ Hero of the year at the Stonewall Awards, sponsored by Barclays, was Rt Rev Gene Robinson, who became the first openly gay bishop when he was ordained in 2003. He was recently barred from Lambeth conference. Accepting his award from compere Richard Wilson, Rt Rev Bishop Gene Robinson Robinson said he was proud to and the Revd Martin Dudley receive a title voted by his peers.He said: “God's name has been used and abused in the name of hatred and bigotry and prejudice for too long. It is time we took the scripture back.“ He added: “Dr King said, the arc of history is long and slow but it inevitably bends towards justice.“ BLAGSS, Brighton Lesbian and Gay Sports Society, was nominated for sports award of the year, although the prize went to Stonewall Lions FC. Publication of the year was Time Out; journalist of the year was Dr Miriam Stoppard from The Daily Mirror; broadcaster of the year was Sandi Toksvig and entertainer of the year was Sue Perkins. Stella Duffy won writer of the year and used her acceptance speech to call for Stonewall to open dialogue with people campaigning for the charity to extend its services to transgender people. A protest had been held outside the awards at London’s V & A. Lord Waheed Alli, the first out peer, won politician of the year. The winner of the Stonewall and Barclays community group of the year was the UK Lesbian and Gay Immigration Group, which was awarded a £5,000 cheque. The hero, bigot and community group were chosen by 7,000 Stonewall supporters. Other winners were chosen by a panel including Diane Abbott MP and Coronation Street star Antony Cotton. Ben Summerskill, chief executive of Stonewall, said: ‘It’s hugely humbling to honour those – both gay and straight - who have inspired or encouraged Britain’s 3.6 million gay people. Every year, the Stonewall Awards highlight just how much we have to celebrate in an increasingly gay-friendly modern Britain.” In his opening speech he said Barack Obama’s election would result in: “hundreds of millions of young people around the world believing they could achieve their dreams regardless of having been born different.“ 36 latest 7

Of the whole of the English language, what would you imagine to be the one two-word phrase pretty much guaranteed to instil in me an instantaneous feeling of dread? Cup final? Britney dead? Each a strong contender in its own right, I’ll grant you, but the pairing I’m thinking of is actually far, far worse: family reunion. Since my beloved nan passed away last Christmas Eve (in what I can only presume was a preemptive strike against my Aunt Liz’s annual Boxing Day buffet), I’d been granted a welcome break from the family parties that usually pepper my year like bear traps. So when my Aunt Jan recently called to remind me that her 60th was fast approaching and I should expect a list of menu options in

it, a tedious pack of people, who haven’t the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. While that may seem a trifle harsh, I wonder how many of us would choose to spend our free time in the company of this motley group of people over which we wield no quality control. For example, when my Aunt Jan’s 60th came around, I was unsurprised to find myself once again relegated to a table reserved exclusively for those who had brought shame upon the family name. There was Uncle Pete (alcoholic), cousin Emma (single mother), cousin Richard (borderline goth), and, last but not least, my cousin Russell (on dayrelease from his institution, sat ramrod-straight like Hannibal Lecter on his gurney and

“My cousin Russell (on day release from his institution), sat ramrod-straight like Hannibal Lecter on his gurney “ the post, my heart sank in anticipation. “All you have to do, William,” she explained (all my relatives insist on calling me William, despite years of my campaigning otherwise), “is put a tick next to what you want for each course and post it back to me in the stamped addressed envelope provided.” “Can I not just go through the menu options with you now?” I suggested gently. “I’m afraid not, William,” came the reply, and then – with the stone-cold logic that only ever occurs to aunties, grandmothers, and those sections of society only allowed to use plastic cutlery added: “I’ve already written the envelope.” Family. Or, as Oscar Wilde put

disconcertingly eyeballing the tealights). If anything, I thought my homosexuality looked mildly innocuous in comparison. You have to love your relatives though, don’t you? And, for all their faults, mine have never faltered in their support for me, despite all our obvious differences. That’s not to say my Uncle Mick will be found sewing names onto an AIDS quilt any time soon, but the fact of the matter is, even though they may disagree with my lifestyle, they still keep inviting me to all the weddings, and birthdays, and assorted occasions that mark me out as their bloodkin. And while some might consider that a cruel and unusual punishment in itself, me, I call it family.

Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 169 ACROSS: 5 Soma 7 Englishman 8 Stay 10 Rhomboid 11 Queasy 12 Hearth 14 Insect 16 Collar 17 Omission 19 Alec 21 Pickpocket 22 Itch. DOWN: 1 Lens 2 Playmate 3 Osprey 4 Smooth 5 Snub 6 Magistrate 9 Tournament 13 Alliance 15 Twitch 16 Canapé 18 Soph 20 Cate. Solution to Quick 169 ACROSS: 5 Spin 7 Roundabout 8 Pert 10 Coronoid 11 Scrawl 12 Rocket 14 Player 16 Animal 17 Detritus 19 Meet 21 Monotonous 22 Help. DOWN: 1 Crop 2 Unsteady 3 Parcel 4 Horror 5 Stun 6 Illiterate 9 Excellence 13 Chipmunk 15 Rating 16 Assets 18 Rump 20 Test. © Crossword Shop

If you have a story for Latest Gay pages please email news@thelatest.co.uk


037_LS398_gay listings

11/6/08

1:50 PM

Page 1

GAY

For full listings & venues go to thelatest.co.uk

GAYLISTINGS 11 – 17 November

Saturday 15 Tuesday 11 Amsterdam Skint or Mint. Bingo and new interactive game ‘Skint or Mint’! 8pm, free. Brighton Tavern Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus. Bar open 12pm, free. Ghetto Twisted Karaoke. 10pm, free. Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday. Friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free. Marlborough Free poker night. Queen’s Arms Skint. Unlimited drinks wristbands for £10 plus a guest DJ and karaoke. A credit crunch gem. 8pm–11pm, free. R-Bar Shoot Me Baby! FREE shot of Corky’s or Sourz with every alcoholic bevvy! 12pm–2am. Revenge Playground. School Disco with a twist. Stewart T spins trax from the 80s, 90s and 00s! 10:30pm–4am, £3 or free NUS/in uniform. The Aquarium Theatre Bar Josh Mill’s Music Night. With Uncle Ben’s quiz night from 9pm. Bar open 12pm, free.

Wednesday 12 Ghetto Miss-Shapes. Indie, R’n’B, electro and pop mash-up! 10pm, free b4 11. Legends Super Karaoke. New karaoke & quiz night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre YouTube Night. 8pm, free. Prince Regent Swimming Pool Out To Swim South. 8:30pm, £4 per session, 20 annual pass. Queen’s Arms QA Karaoke Star 2008: The Final. From 9pm. Bar Open 12:30pm–1am, free. R-Bar Cocktail Club. Enjoy the champagne lifestyle on lemonade money! 12pm–2am, free. Revenge pop!SEXY. Expect live on stage entertainment and chart pop and R’n’B. 10:30pm–3am, £3/2. Star Inn Charity Jukebox. Bar 12pm–11pm. The Basement Play. With DJ Alex Baker spinning all things house. 11pm–4am, free.

Amsterdam Sun Downers. Enjoy the best beach house music in Brighton. 8pm–2am, free. Charles Street Club Mardi Gras. A blend of Gogo Boys, Feathered Girls, HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3. Ghetto Wigout. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. 10pm, free b4 11. Legends Pre-Ignition. Dance sounds from 7pm. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Party. Guest DJs and live music. 9pm–2am, free. Queen’s Arms Karaoke Party with Kamp Kevin. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3:30–5:30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin. Bar open 12pm–12:30am, free. R-Bar Kinky Baby. Get ready for Kinky Dangerous with new comer, Jozzie O. 9pm–7am. R-Bar Celebrity Jumble Sale. Christopher Biggins hosts a celebrity auction and charity jumble sale. Plus live cabaret! 10am–5pm, free. Revenge Kinky Dangerous with Brett Allen. Brett Allen joins the team for 2 floors, and 6.5 hours of fun! 10:30pm–4am, £7/3. Christopher Biggins

Thursday 13 Charles Street Bar Mad Cow. Cheap as Primark Pants. 8pm–11pm, £1. Charles Street Club Religion. Two floors of funky house. Hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with Tony B and Mikalis. 10pm–3am, £4/3 Ghetto Rack ‘Em Up. Join DJ Aquarius for blues, rock and country. 10pm, £tbc. Komedia Antje Duvekot. If Ani DiFranco and Patty Griffin are your bag don’t miss this. 8:30pm, £10/8. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Open Mic. 8pm. Queen’s Arms Skint. See Tuesday. R-Bar I Can’t Wait For The Weekend To Begin!. Funked up, soulful and uplifting house from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free. Revenge GirlsOnTop. Fabulously trashy weekly lesbian night with Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy. 10:30pm–4am, free b4 11:30 with passes, 4/5 after. The Basement Box. Juice FM’s Jonesy plays chart hit remixes, funky house and dance anthems. 11pm–4am, free.

Friday 14 Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies dished. Bar open 11am. Charles Street Club Curiosity Lite. Pure unadulterated trashy disco pop, 10:30pm–3am, £5/4/3 NUS. Ghetto Popstarz. Playin’ indie recent and retro! 10pm, free b4 11. Legends Pre-Celebration. Pure Pop. 7pm, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Girls’ Night. 2 floors of mayhem with guest DJs. 9pm–2am. Queen’s Arms Pink. Definitive handbag, commercial and camp tunes. 9pm–2am, free. R-Bar The GirlsOnTop Bar. DJ Smiffy hauls her best in trash, pop and party tunes from Girls on Top to R-Bar. 12pm–2am. Revenge Lollipop & Housexual. Top pop tunes from Stewart T. Upstairs find funky vocal house with DJ Hollie and guests. 10:30pm–5am, free b4 11/5 b4 12/7 after. Star Inn Return of The Friday Bears Inc. Guest DJs play uplifting funky house and pop remixes. 8pm–1am, free. The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Alex Baker plays girly pop & handbag tracks all night long. 11pm–4am, free all night!

Star Inn Bear Essentials. DJ Charlie. Bar Open 12pm–1am, free. The Aquarium Theatre Bar Cabaret Night. 9pm, free. The Basement Ignition. With the dance sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free all night! The PV at The Jury’s Out Saturday Madness. The best in Brighton duets from 4:30pm, then PV’s house DJs take over! Bar open 12pm, free.

Sunday 16 Amsterdam Sunday Lunch. Traditional roasts (12–5:30pm) with a cabaret twisted. Hosted by Connie Conway from 8pm, free. Brighton Coalition Rebel Rocks. Dance till dawn where the DJs play a tougher-edged house/electro. 3am, £8/6. Ghetto Sirens. Burlesque night with pole and lap dancing shows! 10pm, free. Legends Sunday Cabaret and Chill Out. 3:15pm. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Yummy Roasts. Dishing up ‘til they’re gone! 12pm. Queen’s Arms Top cabaret at 5.30pm & Betty Swollocks Karaoke Show. 12pm–3am, free. The Basement Embrace. Dripping in charty tracks provided by DJ Nick Shepherdson from GA-Y! 11pm–4am, free.

Monday 17 Amsterdam The Monday Musical. Bar open 11am, free. Charles Street Club Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin the best party tracks with mammoth drinks promos. 10pm–2am, £1.50. Ghetto (Formerly Candy Bar) Shibby Shabblers. DJs Pookie and Crackwhore. £1.50 pints and vodka mix. 9pm–2am, £tbc. Legends Dave Lynn and Friends. A hysterical night of cabaret, 9:30pm. Bar open 11pm–5am. Marlborough Trans night. Queen’s Arms Cherry Poppins Karaoke Show. plus drinks promos, 9pm. Bar open 12pm, free. The Basement Back to the 80s and 90s. Let DJ Steve Lush whisk you back with his classic floor fillers. 11pm–4am, free.

➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory online for details

latest 7 37


038_LS398_TVIntro

11/7/08

1:04 PM

Page 2

latestTV Dani on TV

She says it how she sees it

Miss Naked Beauty Tuesday nights, Channel 4 I have already had an argument about this programme with one friend; I hate it and she loves it. I think Gok Wan should stop touching people. I think Myleene Class should shut up. I think the concept of the show is excellent. Usually, if anyone tries to push the boundaries and ideals set by society then they get a high five from me. But I just don’t like the way anything with Gok in tries to do this. He is constantly ranting on about how the magazines promote every woman to feel bad about themselves (nice generalisation). So his way of solving the problem is to singlehandedly make every woman feel great about themselves. Why not head straight to the magazines Gok, eh, rather than touch random body parts of complete strangers? And how is it that you have absolutely no facial hair? Myleene has more stubble than you! I’m sorry, I know it’s a bad thing to hate someone you don’t even know. But it just irritates me that he seems to think he can solve every woman’s problems by putting them in a pair of ‘suck it all in’ pants and taking a few racy pictures of them. In the first episode he made all the woman who wanted to be entered walk down a pier in their bikinis and then, in groups of four, stand on stage in front of the panel of judges and discuss why they are great (while still wearing only their bikinis). Now, if this wonderful woman Gok is looking for is meant to be more than a great body and should feel fantastic in everything, surely the real test would have been to put them all in potato sacks? “And what should we do when we have found our semi-finalists?” asks Gok. “Why not put them all in an empty swimming pool and hose them down?” replies Myleene. What was the point in that? And all for what? To see what they look like without make-up? Because all I could see were wet knickers and panda eyes! Joy! I personally wouldn’t want a walking Specsavers advert pointing out all the bits of my body I should be applying fake tan to, and spending £30 on bottles of foundation all in the aid of making it look as if you are not wearing any make-up at all. I bet this will be a big hit. Just like his other shows in which he encourages women to take their clothes off in public. It is refreshing to see a woman accept that they are great, but no amount of ‘natural’ looking make-up is going to make any lasting impression on someone’s selfesteem. I’d like to put Gok in a empty bath and hose him down – you can see the two-inch layer of foundation on his face a mile off, the hypocrite!

Films on TV

Movies on the box this week

TUESDAY 11 The Legend II ★★★★✩ (1993, BBC1, 11.55pm. Dir Doug Liman) Martial arts maestro Jet Li stars as the Cantonese hero Fong Sai Yuk whobecomes involved in a secret brotherhood, which strives to overthrow the Manchurian emperor. He struggles to conform to the organisation’s rigid regime while attempting to sort out his complicated love life, in which two women fight for his affection.

WEDNESDAY 12 Howards End ★★★★✩ (1992, Film4, 6.15pm. Dir James Ivory) Lavish story of class conflict in Edwardian England. This, the third masterful E.M.Forster adaptation from the Merchant Ivory gang, clocked up three well-deserved Oscars among many awards. A splendid cast of British thesps head up this classy comment on the transformation of British society at the turn of a century.

THURSDAY 13 A Taste of Honey ★★★✩✩ (1962, TCM, 10pm. (Dir Tony Richardson) A key example of one of the films that came to known as part of the Angry Young Men genre. Time may have blunted the impact of its taboo-busting issues, but 46 years on, it’s no less flavourful for powerful performances, most notably Rita Tushingham in her breakout role as Jo, through whose wide, expressive eyes we see a grim world of mean expectations.

FRIDAY 14 Four Weddings And A Funeral

★★★✩✩ (1994, Channel 4, 9pm. (Dir Mike Newell) Floppy fringe extraordinaire Hugh Grant flips and flops that fringe every which way as the commitment-shy fop who meets and stutters at American beauty Andie MacDowell. An excellent ensemble cast that includes Charlotte Coleman, Simon Callow and John Hannah lift it to above average.

Election ★★★★✩ (1999, Sky Movies Indie, 6.15pm. Dir Alexander Payne) After all of last week’s real life drama there’s room for a little American satire as Reese Witherspoon stars as the knuckle-crunchingly perky high school candidate driving idealistic teacher Matthew Broderick to distraction.

38 latest 7

11 – 17 Nov

A Taste of Honey Tuesday, 10pm, TCM

SATURDAY 15 The Omen★★★✩✩ (2006, Channel 4, 10.45pm. Dir John Moore) Faithful remake of the 1976 original that chucks in a few updated special effects to make the journey worth the trip. So we have the American couple in Rome, having a baby that dies, husband switches the baby for one dumped by an unwed mother, doesn’t tell his wife and they bring up Damien as their own. Then the fun really starts. The devil is in the detail…

Mulholland Drive ★★★★★ (2001, Sky Movies Indie, 8pm. Dir David Lynch) After a car wreck on the winding Mulholland Drive renders a woman amnesic, she and a perky Hollywoodhopeful search for clues and answers across Los Angeles in a twisting venture beyond dreams and reality. Lynch on top form, watch out for the blue box at the end – what’s that all about? You’ll be beautifully puzzled.

SUNDAY 16 Erin Brockovich ★★★★✩ (2000, Five, 9pm. Dir Steven Soderbergh) Fact-based drama about an unsophisticated single mother who stumbles upon an environmental cover-up. She discovers that a chemical company knowingly polluted the local area, and with the help of the lawyer launches a class action to sue the company for damages.

MONDAY 10 Sudden Impact ★★★★★ (1983, Five 10pm. Dir Clint Eastwood) Starring Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke. In the fourth of the Dirty Harry series, Inspector Harry Callahan is shipped out of San Francisco by his superiors and becomes involved in the hunt for a brutal killer who has carried out a series of murders in a small seaside town. Harry will sort them out, you can rely on Clint.


039_LS398_TV_Tues

11/7/08

11:15 AM

Page 1

tuesday 11 Miss Naked Beauty Channel 4, 8pm Gok Wan and Myleene Klass conduct a search for Britain’s female ambassador for natural beauty. The eight remaining women pose for a controversial photo shoot exposing the truth behind faking beauty and attend four live plastic surgery operations. Mother Nature will be spinning in her grave.

My Family at War BBC1, 9pm Rolf Harris and Kirsty Wark set out to try and discover the truth behind their families’ roles in the Great War. Rolf, singer of ‘Two Little Boys,’ discovers just how closely that song mirrored his father and uncle’s actions during the war. Kirsty Wark uncovers the brutal reality of her great uncle’s life in the machine gun corps.

What Did You Do In The Great War, Daddy? BBC4, 11pm Documentary telling the tragic story of the greatest loss of fathers in British history. Half a million children lost their fathers in battle. The impact of their deaths was never forgotten by their children. Now in their 90s, they go on an emotional journey to remember their lost fathers.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Live From The Cenotaph - Last Voices Of A Generation 11.15 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 3.25 Uncle Max 3.35 Watch My Chops 3.50 The Secret Show 4.05 Raven 4.34 The Owl 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Kid’s TV 9.10 Our Planet 9.20 Charlie And Lola 9.30 Finley The Fire Engine 9.45 The Koala Brothers 9.55 Fun With Phonics 10.00 Big Barn Farm 10.15 Get Squiggling 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 KS1 Science Clips 11.10 Primary Geography 11.30 The Chronicles Of Narnia 11.45 Watch 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Animal Park: Wild In Africa 2.15 Market Kitchen 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Backstage gossip. 7.00 Delia Cookery programme. Delia Smith shares five recipes using tins and jars to make cooking easier. 7.30 All Over The Shop Business guru Geoff Burch is on a mission to improve Britain’s small shops by teaching them how to turn a profit and please their customers. 8.00 Natural World Follow the story of Titus one of the most powerful silverbacks in Rwanda. 8.50 Britain’s Wild Places An intimate portrait follows badgers through their busiest time of year. 9.00 Horizon Ten volunteers have come together for an extraordinary test. Five are ‘normal’ and the other five have been officially diagnosed as mentally ill. Who is who? 10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland Stereophonics get tidy. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis. 11.20 Band Of Brothers Wartime drama series based on the acclaimed book by Stephen E Ambrose. It is DDay and the troops cross the English Channel to France, where Lt Winters is chosen to lead an attack on a fortified German artillery position. 12.10am Russia: A Journey With Jonathan Dimbleby 1.10 Joins BBC News 4.00 Writer’s Block

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 10.55 ITV News And Weather 11.05 Meridian News And Weather 11.10 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 House Guest 2.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.15 Spin Star 4.00 Rosemary Shrager’s School For Cooks 5.00 Golden Balls

6.00am The Cubeez 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Just Shoot Me 8.25 Just Shoot Me 8.55 Frasier 9.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.00 Take Away My Takeaway 10.30 Wasted 11.00 Parents & Teens: Welcome To My World 11.30 The Family: Teen Stories 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Wife Swap USA 1.30 Eating For Britain 1.40 FILM: The Desert Rats (1953) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 10.00 LIVE Masters Cup Tennis 2008 2.00pm Big League Weekend 3.30 Irish League Football: JJB Premiership 2008 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 Football Asia 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Hyundai A League 11.30 Football Asia 12.00am Carling Cup Football 1.30 Class One Powerboating 2.00 Hyundai A League 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 World Motor Sport 5.30 Hyundai A League

6.00 Meridian Tonight Local and regional news. 6.30 ITV Evening News and Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jasmine puts herself in danger at the club. Choir rehearsal turns nasty when an official attempts to assess the church for closure. Scarlett’s unimpressed when Daz asks Jake to be his housemate. 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Chris Tarrant is ready for the wannabes. 9.00 The Commander – Abduction In the second of a three-part story, Clare Blake begins to feel the pressure of two high-profile yet deeply personal cases coinciding. 10.00 News at Ten and Weather 10.40 The Words Of War To commemorate ninety years since the end of the Great War, letters, diaries and poems depicting firsthand accounts of life in the trenches are read by serving soldiers, relatives and public figures. 11.40 Sally Morgan: Star Psychic Celebrity psychic Sally Morgan tests her skills on famous people. 12.40am Nightwatch With Steve Scott – Crime 1.30 Quincy, ME 2.25 Loose Women 3.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons In an effort to avoid an arranged marriage, Apu tells his mother that he is married to Marge. That’ll work. 6.30 Hollyoaks Cindy and Louise get into another fight. 7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.55 The Rory Peck Awards 2008 Profile of the finalists of the awards that celebrate the work of freelance newsgatherers. 8.00 Miss Naked Beauty See highlights. 9.00 Lady Randy: Churchill’s Mother Documentary shedding light on the woman who had a major influence on Winston Churchill’s life – his mother. 10.00 Neil Morrissey’s Risky Business Actor Neil Morrissey and his best friend Richard Fox attempt to open up their own pub and micro-brewery. 11.05 The Family As Jessica and Pat tie the knot in an emotional ceremony, Simon and Jane reflect on their own marriage. 12.10am Party Poker Nations Cup 2008 1.15 Adrenalin Rush 1.45 KOTV Classics 2008 2.40 European Basketball Championship 3.30 KOTV 4.00 Puzzle Maths x7 5.45 Making It Arts and crafts.x 3

6.00am Kid’s TV 7.25 The Mr. Men Show 7.35 Sailor Sid 7.40 Make Way For Noddy 7.55 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.20 Thomas & Friends 8.30 Milkshake! Music Box 8.40 Rupert Bear 8.50 Pocoyo 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Nigel Marven’s Shark Island 12.15pm Zoo Days 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.10 FILM: Revenge Of The Middle-Aged Woman (2004) 5.00 Five News With Matt Barbet 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Ruby struggles to come to terms with Ross’s illness. 6.30 Zoo Days Baby giraffe Margaret woos the crowd at Chester Zoo. 7.00 Five News At 7 National and international news. 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. 8.00 Special Forces Heroes Drama-documentary series that highlights the heroic work of Britain’s special forces. 9.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama series about forensic investigators. When the body of a woman who was to testify against Kyle is discovered at the bottom of the Everglades, Horatio finds Julia Winston’s fingerprints on the tape. 10.00 CSI: NY New York-based spin-off. When a heist goes wrong and a bank manager is shot dead, a gunman takes everyone hostage and demands CSI proves his innocence. 11.00 Law And Order: SVU Drama series about sex-related crimes. A nurse takes her frustrations out on the rich, elderly women in her care. 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 NBA Basketball 3.40 USPGA Golf 4.20 NASCAR 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00 BBC News At Six National and international news weather. 6.30 South East Today Regional news and weather. 7.00 The One Show Stories from around the UK. 7.30 EastEnders Things look worse for the Brannings when a witness appears. Sean is left fuming when he realises that Roxy hasn’t been honest with him. Sean’s rage is back! 7.57 BBC News and regional News Bulletin from the BBC. 8.00 Holby City Joseph struggles to stay calm while he delivers Daisha’s baby in the lift. 9.00 My Family At War See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today Regional news ans weather. 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Imagine... Let There Be Light Alan Yentob explores the work of artists whose medium is light. 11.25 FILM: Godsend (2004) A couple agree to have their deceased son cloned, but bizarre things start to happen years after his rebirth. 11.55 FILM: The Legend II (1993) See film highlights. 1.30am Celebrity Scissorhands . 2.25 Weatherview 2.30 Sign Zone: My Family At War 3.15 British Style Genius 4.15 Recipe For Success 5.00 Joins BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Adventures 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Snow Adventures 8.30 Wild Spirits 9.00 Showjumping 10.00 Big League Weekend 11.30 Irish League Football: JJB Premiership 2008 1.00pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.00 Kiteboarding 2.30 World Motor Sport 5.00 Showjumping 6.00 Snow Adventures 6.30 Heritage Grand Touring Car Challenge 7.00 Powerboating 7.30 LIVE Carling Cup Football 10.00 Poker Million 12.00am NFL – Total Access 1.00 Tennis 3.00 European Seniors Tour Golf 4.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 8.30am Kiteboarding 9.00 Bowls 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Showjumping 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 Snow Adventures 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 NFL 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Tennis 9.00 NFL 11.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 12.00am Bowls 2.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 3.00 Close

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Project Runway 2.00 Law And Order 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Lion Man (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Stargate Atlantis 9.00 Ultimate Road Wars 10.00 Prison Break 11.00 Drug Wars: D.E.A. 12.00am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm The Most Annoying Pop Moments... We Hate To Love 8.00 Celebrity Scissorhands 9.00 Last Man Standing 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Grownups 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Celebrity Scissorhands 12.40am Last Man Standing 1.40 Grownups 2.10 Gaffes Galore Outtakes

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 My Family At War 8.10 1914-1918 9.00 The Book Quiz 9.30 Flight Of The Conchords 10.00 Timewatch: The Last Day Of World War One 11.00 What Did You Do In The Great War, Daddy? 12.00am Walter’s War 1.00 Prodigal Sons: Storyville 2.30 Only Connect

1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 The Montel Williams Show 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Holiday Homes From Hell 9.00 FILM: Shaun Of The Dead (2004) 11.00 FILM: The Silence Of The Lambs (1991) 1.20am Entourage

2.00pm Wycliffe 3.05 FILM: Columbo: Prescription Murder (1968) 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 8.00 Wild At Heart 9.00 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: The Orchard Walls 10.00 A Is For Acid 12.15am PD James: Taste For Death 1.20 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes

12.45pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 One Tree Hill 2.35 The OC 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 5.55 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years (x2) 11.00 Skins 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 The Convention Crasher 2.05 Skins

1.10pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 Hill Street Blues 4.00 Not Forgotten 5.05 Grand Designs 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 Thriller In Manila 12.00am Come Dine With Me

2.00pm The Doctors Live 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 America’s Next Top Model 9.00 New Most Haunted 10.00 Conversations With A Serial Killer 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Grey’s Anatomy

G.O.L.D.

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.00pm Keeping Up Appearances 5.40 Waiting For God 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 The Green Green Grass 10.20 Only Fools And Horses 11.00 A Bit Of Fry And Laurie 11.40 The Green Green Grass 12.20am Only Fools And Horses

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park 9.30 Scrubs 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Badly Dubbed Porn (x3) 1.20am Frasier (x2)

2.30pm Unsolved Murders 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch (x2) 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Deranged Killers 1.00 A Haunting 2.00 Forensic Detectives

2.00pm The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Countdown: The Sky’s On Fire (1998) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Angel 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 FILM: Disaster Zone: Volcano In New York (2006) 10.00 Eli Stone 11.00 Nightmares And Dreamscapes 12.00am Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man

Classics

Indie

1.00pm Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea (1961) 2.50 The Bridges At TokoRi (1954) 4.40 35mm 5.10 Shenandoah (1965) 7.00 The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 9.00 Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea (1961) 10.50 The Far Country (1955) 12.40am Shenandoah (1965)

9.00am China’s Hollywood 10.00 Jindabyne (2006) 12.10pm The Proposition (1998) 2.05 New Police Story (2004) 4.10 This Is Indie 6.00 Infamous (2006) 8.00 Jindabyne (2006) 10.10 Breaking The Waves (1996) 12.50am Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels (1998) 2.50 Ballets Russes

1.00pm Chance Of A Lifetime (1950) 2.55 Conspiracy Of Hearts (1960) 5.10 The Long Memory (1953) 7.00 Home Alone 3 (1997) 9.00 I, Robot (2004) 11.10 Nil By Mouth (1997) 1.45am Serial Mom (1994) 3.40 Close

7.05am For Me And My Gal (1942) 8.55 The Doctor’s Dilemma (1958) 10.50 Captain Blood (1935) 1.00pm The Great Caruso (1951) 3.00 Ice Station Zebra (1968) 5.35 It Started With A Kiss (1959) 7.25 The Strip (1951) 9.00 BenHur (1959) 12.35am Cass Timberlane (1947) 2.55 International Velvet (1978)


040_LS398_TV_Wed

11/7/08

11:23 AM

Page 1

wednesday 12 Charles at 60: The Passionate Prince BBC1, 8.30pm For a year, BBC cameras have filmed the Prince of Wales. Now, we see the man behind the headlines. He’s defied convention to become one of Britain’s most outspoken and prolific campaigners, as well as being a businessman, ambassador for Britain and a father.

Saving Africa’s Witch Children Channel 4, 9pm Dispatches special following Englishman Gary Foxcroft, who helps victimised and vulnerable children in Nigeria. In some of the poorest parts of the country, thousands of youngsters are blamed for catastrophes, death and famine and branded as witches by Christian pastors.

A Village Affair ITV3, 10pm Hard to believe this lady-loving drama almost brought the country to a standstill when it was first out in 1995. A passionate and illicit love affair surfaces one summer in an apparently perfect English village, shattering its traditional conventions and polarising the community. Oh girls! Cake sales will never be the same again.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 3.25 Uncle Max 3.35 Watch My Chops 3.50 The Secret Show 4.05 Get 100 4.34 The Owl 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Kid’s TV 7.25 Newsround 7.27 Bernard 7.30 50/50 8.00 Basil’s Game Show 8.30 Postman Pat: SDS 8.45 Chuggington 9.00 3rd And Bird 9.10 Our Planet 9.20 Charlie And Lola 9.30 Finley The Fire Engine 9.45 The Koala Brothers 9.55 Fun With Phonics 10.00 Big Barn Farm 10.15 Get Squiggling 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Wildlife On Two 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Coast 2.15 Market Kitchen 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Backstage gossip. 7.00 Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May travel to the US to take three new generation muscle cars on an epic road trip from San Francisco to the heart of Utah. 8.00 Oceans A new series that reveals the hidden stories of the deep. Over a year a team of four marine experts has voyaged across the globe to explore our planet’s last true wilderness – its oceans. 9.00 Heroes Trapped, terrified and cornered, Nathan and Tracy, Matt and Peter struggle for their lives against familiar faces. 9.45 Heroes Unmasked With all roads pointing to Pinehearst, Heroes Unmasked follows the creative forces behind Heroes. 10.00 Mock The Week Two teams of comedians take a satirical swipe at the news and world events. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis. 11.20 Dragons’ Den: The Dragons’ Stories Deborah Meaden is next up in this five-part series profiling each of the current dragons. 12.20am Long Way Down 1.20 Joins BBC News 4.00 English File 5.30 Emotional Literacy x 3

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 House Guest 2.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.15 Spin Star 4.00 Rosemary Shrager’s School For Cooks 5.00 Golden Balls

6.00am The Cubeez 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Just Shoot Me 8.25 Just Shoot Me 8.55 Frasier 9.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.00 Take Away My Takeaway 10.30 Wasted 11.00 Parents & Teens: Welcome To My World 11.30 The Family: Teen Stories 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: The Unquiet American 12.35 Wife Swap USA 1.35 FILM: The Riddle Of The Sands (1979) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons Springfield’s people believe Lisa has unearthed the fossilised remains of an angel. 6.30 Hollyoaks Cindy disrupts Mandy’s surprise birthday party by letting her know she is aware of the affair between Mandy and Warren. 7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.55 The Rory Peck Awards 2008 Awards celebrating newsgatherers from around the world. 8.00 The Home Show Architect George Clarke helps homeowners fall in love with their houses. 9.00 Saving Africa’s Witch Children See highlights. 10.00 Desperate Housewives Bree’s success has the women of Wisteria Lane feeling envious. 11.05 The Inbetweeners Six-part sitcom about four teenagers growing up in suburbia. 11.35 Balls Of Steel Mark Dolan introduces new comedic talent and challenges them to attempt daring, dangerous or plain ridiculous tasks in order to prove who is the most courageous. 12.25am 4 Music: 4Music Intros 1.35 FILM: That Thing You Do! (1996) 3.25 Unreported World 3.50 3 Minute Wonder: The Unquiet . 3.55 Don’t Blame The Builder 4.55 Countdown 5.40 Making It 5.45 The Hoobs

6.00am Kid’s TV 7.25 The Mr. Men Show 7.40 Make Way For Noddy 7.55 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.20 Thomas & Friends 8.30 Milkshake! Music Box 8.40 Rupert Bear 8.50 Pocoyo 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Nigel Marven’s Shark Island 12.15pm Zoo Days 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.10 Five News Update 3.15 FILM: WW3 (2001) 5.00 Five News With Matt Barbet 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home and Away Ross is not impressed at Charlie’s mollycoddling. 6.30 Zoo Days Sheba, the matriarch of Chester Zoo’s elephant family, is being kept awake at night by the younger members of the herd. Can keeper Mick Jones solve her problem? 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Climbing The Giants Guy Grieve heads to Australia on the trail of giant trees and the people who climb them. 8.00 Axe Men Series following the treacherous work of North American lumberjacks. 9.00 Dangerous Adventures For Boys Series in which famous dads and their sons embark on exhilarating adventures. 10.00 CCTV Cities Donal visits the Scottish capital. With 185 cameras being monitored round the clock, Edinburgh Council works closely to make the streets a safer place in this popular tourist spot. 11.05 Police Interceptors Documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex. 12.05am PartyPoker.com World Open IV 1.35 NHL Ice-hockey action 4.10 NHRA Drag Racing 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 European Seniors Tour Golf – OKI Castellon Open Espana 10.00 Live Masters Cup Tennis 2008 2.00pm Carling Cup Football 3.30 Hyundai A League 4.00 Revista De La Liga 5.00 Carling Cup Football 6.30 Total Rugby 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am Carling Cup Football 1.30 Poker Million 3.30 Total Rugby 4.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.30 Sports Unlimited 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 BBC News At Six National and international news, weather. 6.30 South East Today News and weather from the region. 7.00 The One Show Stories from around the UK. 7.30 Inside Out Surprising real-life stories from familiar places. 8.00 Little Dorrit Costume drama based on the Charles Dickens novel. Amy accompanies her sister Fanny to meet Mrs Merdle, queen bee of London society. Meanwhile, Rigaud comes into possession of the Clennam papers, and Chivery the turnkey asks Arthur to put in a word for young John with Amy. 8.30 Charles At 60: The Passionate Prince See highlights 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today Local news and weather. 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Jenni Falconer is from Lottery HQ. 10.45 Medium Allison investigates a an older woman with a sexual preference for younger partners. 11.30 Celebrity Scissorhands George Lamb presents as a team of untrained celebrities. 12.30am FILM: Deadly Currents 1.55 Weatherview 2.00 Sign Zone: See Hear. 2.30 My Family At War 3.10 Recipe For Success. 3.55 Recipe For Success 4.40 Joins BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight News and weather from the region. 6.30 ITV Evening News and Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Debbie cannot believe that Jasmine is taking things further with Shane. 7.30 Coronation Street Peter receives some surprising news from Lucy’s solicitor. Will David uncover Gail and Joe’s secret tryst? 8.00 The Bill: Proof Of Life (Part One) The first episode in a special two-part storyline to celebrate 25 years of The Bill, with cast members teaming up with those of primetime German police drama SOKO:Leipzig. 9.00 The Commander – Abduction In the final part, a supervised trip to the murder scene convinces Brian Hall that there was someone else in the room when he discovered his mother’s body. 10.00 News At Ten and Weather 10.40 Numb3rs Detective drama about a maths genius recruited by the FBI to solve complex criminal cases. 11.40 Carling Cup Highlights Matt Smith introduces the best of the action from this week’s Carling Cup fourth round. 12.40am Bingo Night Live 1.40 Raines 2.30 Loose Women 3.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Adventures 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Sports Unlimited 9.00 Carling Cup Football 10.30 Poker Million 12.30pm LIVE International Cricket 7.00 LIVE Carling Cup Football 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Masters Cup Tennis 2.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Hyundai A League 7.30 Football Asia 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 Snow Adventures 9.30 Powerboating 10.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 Snow Adventures 2.30 Heritage Grand Touring Car Challenge 3.00 Ladies Euro Tour Golf 4.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 UIM F1 Powerboating 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 European Tour Weekly 11.30 Total Rugby 12.00am Watersports World 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 Close

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Project Runway 2.00 Law And Order 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Lion Man (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x5) 9.00 FILM: Godzilla (1998) 11.40 Ross Kemp On Gangs 12.40am Toughest Pubs In Britain 1.30 Street Wars 2.25 Stargate SG-1 (x2)

7.00pm The Most Annoying Pop Moments... We Hate To Love 8.00 Celebrity Scissorhands 9.00 The Last Millionaire 10.00 Heroes 10.45 Family Guy (x2) 11.30 Last Man Standing 12.30am The Last Millionaire 1.25 Celebrity Scissorhands 2.25 Celebrity Scissorhands Uncut

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Railway Walks 8.00 Snowdrift At Bleath Gill 8.10 An Awfully Big Adventure 9.00 Picture Book 10.00 A Year In Tibet 11.00 Natural World 11.50 Picture Book 12.50am Railway Walks 1.20 A Year In Tibet 2.20 Picture Book 3.20 Railway Walks

3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 The Montel Williams Show 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA (x2) 9.00 Jack Osbourne: Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.30 FILM: The Silence Of The Lambs (1991) 12.50am Coronation Street 1.20 Teleshopping

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 Wycliffe 3.10 FILM: Columbo: Ransom For A Dead Man (1971) 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.45 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Life 10.00 A Village Affair 12.20am Kavanagh QC 1.50 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 2.40 Heartbeat

12.45pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 One Tree Hill 2.35 The OC 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory (x2) 10.00 Rude Tube 10.30 Fonejacker 11.00 Ricky Gervais: Fame 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 Rude Tube

5.05pm Grand Designs 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Not Forgotten: The Men Who Wouldn’t Fight 10.00 The Girl With Eight Limbs: A Bodyshock Special 11.05 The Smallest People In The World 12.05am Curb Your Enthusiasm (x2)

1.45pm The Fix 2.00 The Doctors Live 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy 9.00 Dirty Dancing: The Time Of Your Life 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Grey’s Anatomy 1.00 Will And Grace (x2)

G.O.L.D.

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.00pm Keeping Up Appearances 5.40 Waiting For God 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 The Vicar Of Dibley 10.20 French And Saunders 11.00 A Bit Of Fry And Laurie 11.40 The Vicar Of Dibley 12.20am French And Saunders

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x4) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Badly Dubbed Porn 12.20am Badly Dubbed Porn (x2) 1.20 Frasier (x2)

3.00pm Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Rome 10.00 NASA’s Greatest Missions 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Deranged Killers 1.00 A Haunting 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 Rome

12.05pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Haunted (1995) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Angel 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 FILM: King Of The Lost World (2005) 9.30 FILM: Mega Snake (2004) 11.30 Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man 1.20am Medium 2.20 Ghost Stories

Classics

Indie

1.25pm The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) 3.30 Road To Zanzibar (1941) 5.05 The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962) 7.10 Island In The Sky (1953) 9.00 Cool Hand Luke (1967) 11.10 I’ll Never Forget What’s ’is Name (1969) 12.55am Island In The Sky (1953)

12.50pm Days Of Glory (2005) 3.00 Neil Young: Heart Of Gold 4.45 Kenny (2007) 6.30 The Page Turner (2006) 8.00 The Curse Of The Golden Flower (2006) 10.00 HanaBi (1997) 11.50 Mulholland Falls (1996) 1.40am Warrior King (2005) 3.30 The Page Turner (2006)

1.00pm Time Lock (1957) 2.30 The Eve Of Saint Mark (1944) 4.25 Lady For A Night (1942) 6.15 Howards End (1992) 9.00 Boat Trip (2002) 10.50 Mischief Night (2006) 12.40am Boys On The Side (1995) 3.00 Close

11.45am Parlor, Bedroom And Bath (1931) 1.00pm The Wings Of Eagles (1957) 3.00 Hotel Paradiso (1966) 4.50 The Biggest Bundle Of Them All (1968) 6.45 Never So Few (1959) 9.00 The Killer Elite (1975) 11.15 The Gypsy Moths (1969) 1.00am Shaft In Africa (1973) 3.05 Shine On Harvest Moon (1944)


041_LS398_TV_Thur

11/7/08

11:41 AM

Page 1

thursday 13 Property: The End Of The Affair? BBC2, 7.30pm Max Flint investigates the property market and asks if renting is the answer for people buffeted by its troubles? With interviews with people on both sides of the fence, new research claims we would all have been better off renting all the way along. Blimey.

Rich Kid, Poor Kid Channel 4, 9pm Documentary exploring the gap between rich and poor. The film follows two teenage girls of similar age who live on the same street, one born to poverty, the other to plenty. Alice and Natalie live just a stone’s throw from each other, but never meet, and their experiences of life are very different.

My Name is Earl E4, 7.30pm Second season of the hit US comedy. Earl wakes up from his coma and tries to find Billie, who he has decided is his soul mate. But Billie thinks Earl is dead, and her ex-boyfriend Frank still has feelings for her. Meanwhile, Catalina decides she is a lesbian. First-rate comedy from the king of lists and mayhem.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 3.25 Uncle Max 3.35 Watch My Chops 3.50 The Secret Show 4.05 Raven 4.35 Election 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Kid’s TV 9.20 Charlie And Lola 9.30 Finley The Fire Engine 9.45 The Koala Brothers 9.55 Fun With Phonics 10.00 Big Barn Farm 10.15 Get Squiggling 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 The Maths Channel 11.10 Primary History 11.30 Something Special 11.45 What? Where? When? Why? 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Animal Park: Wild In Africa 2.15 Market Kitchen 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two Latest gossip. 7.00 James May’s 20th Century James May discovers just how far he can push his body, exploring some of the most remarkable medical advances over the last hundred years. 7.30 Property: The End Of The Affair? See highlights. 8.00 Beat The Bank Duncan Bannatyne meets a couple willing to risk 10,000 pounds of their money to make their dreams come true. 9.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Comedy pop quiz with Simon Amstell. 9.30 The Graham Norton Show Showbiz, chat, jokes and stories from his celebrity guests and fearless audience. 10.00 Lead Balloon Sitcom about ex-celebrity comedian Rick Spleen. Mel announces their surly EastEuropean help, is moving in with them Rick fears that it will become a permanent arrangement. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of news. 11.20 India With Sanjeev Bhaskar Sanjeev Bhaskar finds out how the country’s ancient traditions still shape life today. 12.20am Kath And Kim x 2 1.10 Joins BBC News 4.00 Media Studies 5.00 On Top Of The Digital World

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 House Guest 2.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.15 Spin Star 4.00 Rosemary Shrager’s School For Cooks 5.00 Golden Balls

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Just Shoot Me 8.25 Just Shoot Me 8.55 Frasier 9.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.00 Take Away My Takeaway 10.30 Wasted 11.00 Parents & Teens: Welcome To My World 11.30 The Family: Teen Stories 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Will And Grace 1.00 Rescue Remedies 1.10 FILM: The Vikings (1958) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons Marge gets a job with an estate agent, but her honesty costs her lucrative sales. 6.30 Hollyoaks Mandy regrets spending the night with Tony. 7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.55 The Rory Peck Awards 2008 The Peck awards celebrate the work of freelance newsgatherers. 8.00 Celebrity Come Dine With Me A fresh group of celebrities compete for the honour of ultimate dinner party host in the cookerybased reality show. 9.00 Rich Kid, Poor Kid See highlights. 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr and the topical comedy panel show. 10.35 Russell Brand’s Ponderland Comedian Russell Brand considers the state of education in Britain. 11.10 Fonejacker Fonejacker scams and bewilders members of the public with a host of bizarre characters. 11.40 The Law Of The Playground An affectionate and witty look back at the warped games, nicknames and traditions that were a part of school 12.10am 4 Music: 4Music Intros 1.00 PokerStars.com 2009. 2.00 FILM: Bad Lieutenant (1992) 3.45 3 Minute Wonderx 2 3.55 Don’t Blame The Builder 4.55 Countdown 5.40 Making It 5.45 The Hoobs

6.00am Kid’s TV 7.10 Roary The Racing Car 7.25 The Mr. Men Show 7.40 Make Way For Noddy 7.55 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.20 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Rupert Bear 8.50 Pocoyo 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Nigel Marven’s Shark Island 12.15pm Zoo Days 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.05 FILM: Columbo: Undercover (1992) 5.00 Five News With Matt Barbet 5.30 Neighbours

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Trans World Sport 10.00 Live Masters Cup Tennis 2008 2.00pm Carling Cup Football 3.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.00 Total Rugby 4.30 Trans World Sport 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 Barclays Premier League World 6.30 Carling Cup Football 7.30 LIVE Premier League Snooker 11.00 Carling Cup Football 12.00am Barclays Premier League World 12.30 The Rugby Club 2.00 Carling Cup Football 3.00 Barclays Premier League World 3.30 LIVE International Cricket

6.00 BBC News At Six National and international news, weather. 6.30 South East Today Regional news and weather. 7.00 The One Show Stories from around the UK. 7.30 EastEnders Sean is nowhere to be seen as a terrified Roxy goes into early labour. Meanwhile, Jack has plans for the witness in Max’s case. 7.57 BBC News And Regional News Bulletin from the BBC. 8.00 Little Dorrit Pancks recruits John Chivery to help him solve the mystery that connects the Dorrit family with the House of Clennam. 8.30 The People’s Hospital Documentary series about life on the wards at Whipps Cross Hospital. 9.00 Apparitions First of a new six-part supernatural drama series. 10.00 BBC News at Ten 10.25 South East Today Local news and weather. 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby chairs the political debate from Dover. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week. 12.20am Holiday Weatherview Detailed weather forecast. 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Celebrity Scissorhands 1.55 My Family 2.55 Watchdog. 3.25 An Island Parish 3.55 Recipe For Success 4.40 Joins BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight Local news and weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News and Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Nicola has a change of heart about the choir. But has she made the right decision? I don’t know! But you will find out if you watch… 7.30 Village Voices Series looking at villages in the South and South East of England. 8.00 The Bill: Proof Of Life (Part Two) The second episode in a special two-part storyline to celebrate 25 years of The Bill, with cast members teaming up with those of primetime German police drama SOKO:Leipzig. 9.00 Cops With Cameras Tonight’s show features the war against drugs across the whole country. 10.00 News At Ten and Weather 10.40 Real Crime: The Cat And Mouse Killer The story of Lynsey Wilson who went missing without a trace. Her husband was eventually convicted. 11.40 The Last Word The big stories in the region discussed with MPs. 12.10am Bingo Night Live 1.15 Motorsport UK 1.40 Nightwatch With Steve Scott – 2.35 Loose Women 3.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 Home And Away Will Christine see the light before it is too late for Melody? 6.30 Zoo Days Will it be love at first sight for a pair of Indian rhinoceroses? Also, the vets must see to a mandrill with razor-sharp teeth. 7.00 Five News At 7 National and international news. 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn examines the feats of science and engineering behind everyday life. 8.00 Secrets Of Egypt: Screaming Man Historical documentary series probing the secrets of Ancient Egypt. Scientists attempt to unravel the mystery of a 3,000-year-old ‘screaming’ mummy. 9.00 Danger Men: Red Arrows Six-part series examining some of the most dangerous jobs in the world and profiling the men who risk their lives. 10.00 The Sex Chamber Documentary profiling David Parker Ray, one of America’s most prolific sex criminals. 11.05 Fred And Rose: The West Murders Three-part series about the notorious couple. 12.05am Quiz Callk (0845 call charges apply). 4.00 Major League Soccer 4.45 Nick’s Quest 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Watersports World 9.00 Carling Cup Football 10.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.00 Total Rugby 11.30 Carling Cup Football 1.00pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.30 UIM F1 Powerboating 2.00 Total Rugby 2.30 European Tour Weekly 3.00 Poker Million 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 The Rugby Club 7.30 LIVE Winning Post 9.30 Barclays Premier League World 10.00 LIVE Sky Poker Five-OO 12.00am NFL – Total Access 1.00 LIVE NFL 4.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 10.30am UIM F1 Powerboating 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 Snow Adventures 2.30 Airsports World 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 UIM F1 Powerboating 4.30 WWE Vintage Collection 5.30 WWE Special 6.30 ATP Tennis Magazine 7.00 Masters Cup Tennis 9.00 WWE Late Night Raw 11.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.00am WWE Special 1.00 Premier League Snooker 4.30 ATP Tennis Magazine 5.00 Airsports World 5.30 Close

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Project Runway 2.00 Law And Order 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Lion Man (x2) 5.30 Lion Man 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Noel’s Are You Smarter Than A Ten-YearOld? 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case 11.00 Fringe 12.10am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Last Man Standing 9.00 Celebrity Scissorhands 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Real Hustle: High Stakes 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Celebrity Scissorhands 12.45am Last Man Standing 1.40 The Real Hustle: High Stakes 2.10 The Last Millionaire 3.10 EastEnders Revealed: Whodunits

7.00pm World News Today 7.40 The New Avengers 8.30 Beeching’s Tracks 9.00 Walter Tull: Forgotten Hero 10.00 Walter’s War 11.00 Armistice 12.30am BBC Four Sessions 1.30 Walter Tull: Forgotten Hero 2.30 Armistice 5.30 Close

3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 The Montel Williams Show 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 The Fashion Show 9.00 FILM: The Thomas Crown Affair (1999) 11.20 Entourage 11.55 FILM: Hannibal (2001) 2.20am Teleshopping 5.20 ITV2 Nightscreen

1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Wycliffe 3.15 FILM: Columbo: Uneasy Lies The Crown (1990) 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 8.00 Missing Persons 9.00 Wired 10.00 Life 11.00 Raines 12.00am A Is For Acid 2.00 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 2.55 Heartbeat 3.50 Film File

1.45pm One Tree Hill 2.35 The OC 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 How To Look Good Naked 10.00 Samantha Who? 10.30 FILM: Swingers (1996) 12.25am The World’s Greatest Comedy Characters

2.00pm ER 3.00 Hill Street Blues 4.00 Not Forgotten 5.05 Grand Designs 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 10.00 Without A Trace 11.00 The Closer 12.00am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares

1.45pm The Fix 2.00 The Doctors Live 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 The Underdog Show 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Grey’s Anatomy 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Grey’s Anatomy 1.00 Will And Grace (x2)

G.O.L.D.

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.20pm Open All Hours 3.00 My Family 3.40 To The Manor Born 4.20 As Time Goes By 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances 5.40 Waiting For God 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 Open All Hours 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Victoria Wood Live 11.40 Porridge 12.20am Victoria Wood Live

4.00pm The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Badly Dubbed Porn (x3) 1.20 Frasier 1.50 Coupling

2.30pm Unsolved Murders 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 My Shocking Story 10.00 Couples Who Kill (x2) 12.00am Deranged Killers 1.00 A Haunting

2.00pm The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: King Of The Lost World (2005) 4.30 Ghost Stories 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Angel 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 FILM: Jack Hunter: The Quest For Akhenaten’s Tomb (2008) 10.00 Dead Like Me (x2) 12.00am Erotic Misadventures Of The Invisible Man 1.50 Medium

Classics

Indie

11.50am Hail The Conquering Hero (1944) 1.35pm Duel In The Sun (1946) 3.50 A Touch Of Larceny (1959) 5.25 Look Back In Anger (1958) 7.10 Lover Come Back (1961) 9.00 Duel In The Sun (1946) 11.15 Cahill, United States Marshal (1973) 1.00am Seconds (1966)

9.00am Idlewild (2006) 11.00 Nelly And Monsieur Arnaud (1995) 1.00pm The Escapist (2001) 2.35 Offside (2006) 4.10 Idlewild (2006) 6.10 The Good German (2005) 8.00 King Of The Hill (1993) 9.45 This Is Indie 10.00 Wild At Heart (1990) 12.10am London Film Festival Special

1.00pm The House On Telegraph Hill (1951) 2.55 Lost (1955) 4.45 Hell And High Water (1954) 6.50 Bogus (1996) 9.00 The Wind That Shakes The Barley (2006) 11.25 Natural Born Killers (1994) 1.45am The Cat’s Meow (2002) 4.00 Close

7.10am A Day At The Races (1937) 9.05 Hotel Paradiso (1966) 10.50 The Prince And The Pauper (1937) 1.00pm Rhapsody (1954) 3.00 Trapeze (1956) 4.50 Lady L (1965) 6.40 The Prize (1963) 9.00 Bullitt (1968) 11.05 A Taste Of Honey (1961) 1.00am All Fall Down (1962) 3.00 Hell Is For Heroes (1962)


042_LS398_TV_Fri

11/7/08

11:52 AM

Page 1

friday 14 Unreported World Channel 4, 7.35pm Civil war between rich and poor rages in the Philippines, each tugging at the country’s resources. On one side are 135 families that hold economic and political power. On the other an armed rebel group. In the middle hundreds of people who have been killed or disappeared. Not a good place to be, the middle.

Children In Need BBC1, 7pm and 10.35pm He’s ba-ack! Yuppety, yup, yup – and we’re not even talking about Pudsey. Sir Terry of Wogan returns with even younger professional female presenters in the guises of Tess Daly and Fearne Cotton. Will he make it to the end of the night? Will the money raised beat last year’s total? Will you stay up to the end?

The New Avengers BBC4, 11.30pm ‘New’ indicates there’s been a bit of a gap between the wonders of the time of Mrs Peel and Steed and a ‘contemporary’ revamped secret agency group – still featuring Steed, mind you. Here’s you chance to catch Joanna Lumley as Purdey, Gareth Hunt before he became rhyming slang, and a Nazi plot that needs foiling.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 3.25 Uncle Max 3.35 Watch My Chops 3.50 The Secret Show 4.05 The Revenge Files Of Alistair Fury 4.35 Dani’s House 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 Children In Need Terry Wogan is joined by Tess Daly and Fearne Cotton for a spectacular night of music, fun and fundraising. It’s surprises galore in store as our favourite TV stars join forces to ‘Do Something Different’ for this year’s marathon charity appeal. With performances from McFly, Emmerdale star Roxanne Pallett, the cast of the BBC’s I’d Do Anything, Girls Aloud, Take That and the cast of EastEnders. Includes a sneak peek at the Doctor Who Christmas Special. See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Children In Need Fun and fundraising continues. Top Gear collides with Ashes to Ashes, the BBC newsreaders make headlines in Mamma Mia! and murder and mayhem abound in Taggart. There’s music from the Sugababes, Lee Mead and Denise Van Outen, Boyzone, the cast of Hairspray, Will Young, Sharleen Spiteri, Alesha Dixon, Il Divo, Russell Watson, Jason Donovan and Stereophonics. Plus, the grand total raised for Children In Need 2008 is revealed. 2.00am FILM: Fist Of Legend (1994) 3.40 Weatherview 3.45 Joins BBC News

6.00 – 10.00am Children’s television 10.00 Big Barn Farm 10.15 Get Squiggling 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Fun With Phonics 11.10 Focus 11.20 Let’s Write Non-Fiction 11.40 See You, See Me 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Animal Park: Wild In Africa 2.15 Market Kitchen 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 House Guest 2.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.15 Spin Star 4.00 Rosemary Shrager’s School For Cooks 5.00 Golden Balls

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Just Shoot Me 8.25 Just Shoot Me 8.55 Frasier The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.00 Take Away My Takeaway 10.30 Wasted 11.00 Parents & Teens: Welcome To My World 11.30 The Family: Teen Stories 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Will And Grace 1.00 Channel 4 Racing 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Nigel Marven’s Shark Island 12.00pm Zoo Days 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.05 Five News Update 3.10 FILM: Wounded Heart (1995) 5.00 Five News With Matt Barbet 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts a general knowledge quiz. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two The Friday panel previews Saturday night’s costumes. 7.00 Fossil Detectives In Scotland, the team go fossil hunting in Loch Ness. Any sign of Nessy? 7.30 An Island Parish They prepare to welcome home the four island men who nearly drowned attempting to row across the Atlantic. 8.00 Mastermind Subjects are The Coventry Blitz, The Scottish Enlightenment, The Amelia Peabody Novels and Merthyr Rising of 1831. 8.30 Gardeners’ World It’s been a busy year in Carol’s Devon garden. 9.00 Barristers The Bar is one of the most powerful professions in the country. However, just one in five students will ever get to present a case in court – only the brightest and the very best survive. 10.00 QI Children In Need Special Host Stephen Fry quizzes Terry Wogan, David Mitchell, Ronni Ancona and Alan Davies. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.40 Later... With Jools Holland 12.40am Blast: The Director’s Cut 12.45 Star Trek: The Next Generation 2.15 FILM: The Tomb Of Ligeia (1964) 3.35 Kath And Kim (x2)

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Donald asks Anna to chose between him and Matthew. He is the Duck, whereas his competition is an apostle. Hard choice. 7.30 Coronation Street Amber is shocked to discover the identity of Dev’s new lover! You betcha! Keep it in the family and all that. 8.00 Live Forever: Tonight Apparently, if you take the right thingammywhatsits you can live to be more than 1,000 years old. We don’t hold much truck with it either, but Michael Nicholson investigates. 8.30 Coronation Street Have David’s actions placed his family in danger? That would be a first. Oh. No it wouldn’t. Dang. 9.00 Taggart When the decomposing body of a young woman is discovered in her bath, initial enquiries at her workplace uncover very little. Except that her boss was a nasty and that she gave generously to charity. Saint working for sinner eh? Curious. 10.30 TV’s Naughtiest Blunders Another collection of saucy outtakes. 11.00 The Late News; Weather 11.45 Bingo Night Live 12.50am Pro Celebrity Darts 1.40 Planet Rock Profiles (x2) 2.35 FILM: The Cutting Edge (1992) 4.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Calvin is shocked to find condoms in Carmel’s bag. Dom is excited about his new flat – but the previous tenants refuse to move out. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.35 Unreported World See highlights. 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away Jonnie is in Glasgow while Jasmine heads to the Canary Islands to help Kent couple Sally and Stephen find the ideal second home retreat for their upcoming retirement. The peaceful vistas of Glasgow. Ah. 9.00 FILM: Four Weddings And A Funeral (1994) Starring Hugh Grant, Andie MacDowell, Kristin Scott Thomas, Simon Callow and John Hannah. Smash-hit comedy of manners about an eternal bachelor who is dazzled by an American girl when both are guests at a wedding. 11.15 The Big Fat 25th Anniversary Quiz Jimmy Carr presents a special edition of the annual quiz remembering 25 years of Channel 4. 1.20am 4 Music: 4Music Intros 1.25 4Music Intros 1.35 Rockfeedback 2.10 Goalissimo! 3.05 Ironman 3.30 Trans World Sport 4.20 Don’t Blame The Builder 5.20 Countdown

6.00 Home And Away Is Belle in danger? Could Nicole be pregnant? Is Nicole pregnant with Belle’s child? Gasp! Probably not. Sigh. 6.30 Zoo Days One of the vets is attacked by a legion of escaped South American leafcutter ants. Nasty, nasty, nasty. Nightmares. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Escape From... Historian Saul David presents this series examining great escapes of the 20th century. 8.00 Police Interceptors Documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex. 9.00 NCIS When Gibbs’s plan to interrogate a convict on death row backfires, the team must work out for itself where the man’s victims are hidden. Probably not behind the sofa. 10.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Detectives probe the murder of a 15-year-old girl. Revelations about the victim’s sex life throw up a bewildering array of suspects. Noddy? Really?! 11.00 Law And Order Briscoe and Green hope a sniper victim will give clues to the shooter’s identity. More than; “There was this red dot of light they kept putting on my jumper.” 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 Nick’s Quest 4.25 Lemur Island 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am LIVE International Cricket 12.00pm Barclays Premier League World 12.30 Airsports World 1.00 Carling Cup Football 2.00 Barclays Premier League World 2.30 International Cricket 4.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 Big League Weekend 6.30 Off The Bar 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am International Cricket 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Big League Weekend 5.00 Off The Bar 5.30 Barclays Premier League Preview

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Carling Cup Special 10.00 LIVE Tennis 2.00pm ATP Tennis Magazine 2.30 The Rugby Club 4.00 NFL – Total Access 5.00 International Cricket 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 Big League Weekend 11.00 Off The Bar 11.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 12.00am NFL – Total Access 1.00 Tennis 3.00 Sportnation 2008 4.00 Premiership Rugby Union 5.30 Gillette World Sport

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw UK 9.00 WWE Special 10.00 The Rugby Club 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Race World 1.00 NFL – Total Access 2.00 NFL 4.00 WWE Special 5.00 WWE Raw UK 7.00 Tennis 9.00 Off The Bar 9.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Premiership Rugby Union 2.30 Tight Lines 3.30 British Ice Hockey

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Project Runway 2.00 Law And Order 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x3) 6.30 The Simpsons (x5) 9.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs 10.00 Ross Kemp: A Kenya Special 11.30 Ross Kemp Meets The Glue Kids Of Kenya 12.00am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Doctor Who (x2) 9.00 FILM: Ladder 49 (2004) 10.50 Family Guy (x2) 11.35 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.30am Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 1.00 Grownups 1.30 The Real Hustle: High Stakes 2.00 The Most Annoying Pop Moments... We Hate To Love

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Karim’s Journey 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Paul Weller: Into Tomorrow 10.30 BBC Four Session 11.30 The New Avengers. See highlights. 12.20am The Avengers 1.10 Paul Weller: Into Tomorrow 2.40 BBC Four Session 3.40 Karim’s Journey 5.30 Close

3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 The Montel Williams Show 6.00 Judge Judy 6.30 Keith Lemon: The Hot Desk 6.45 The X Factor 8.15 The X Factor The Result 9.00 Get Me Out Of Here - Biggins Goes Back 10.00 Ghosthunting With... I’m A Celebrity 12.00am Celebrity Juice

5.10pm Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 FILM: Whatever Love Means (2005) 11.35 Inspector Wexford: No More Dying Then 1.40am The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 2.35 Only When I Laugh (x2) 3.30 Film File

1.45pm One Tree Hill 2.35 The OC 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Wife Swap 10.00 FILM: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004) 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 1.00 The 100 Greatest Scary Moments 3.00 Wife Swap

4.00pm Not Forgotten: The Men Who Wouldn’t Fight 5.05 Grand Designs 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: Clear And Present Danger (1994) 11.45 The World’s Biggest Penis 12.50am Millionaires’ Mission

1.45pm The Fix 2.00 The Doctors Live 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Grey’s Anatomy

G.O.L.D.

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.00pm My Family 3.40 To The Manor Born 4.20 As Time Goes By 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances 5.40 Waiting For God 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 Open All Hours 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Porridge 10.20 FILM: Father Of The Bride (1991) 12.20am My Hero 12.55 My Hero

2.00pm Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Badly Dubbed Porn (x4) 1.50 Coupling 2.30 Linc’s

3.00pm Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 My Shocking Story 9.00 Proof Of Innocence 10.00 Crime Scene USA: Body Of Evidence (x2) 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Deranged Killers

12.05pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Nuclear Hurricane (2007) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Angel 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Eli Stone 9.00 Sea Of Souls 10.15 FILM: Barb Wire (1996) 12.15am FILM: Emmanuelle 2000: Being Emmanuelle (2000)

Classics

Indie

1.00pm 35mm 1.30 Flight Of The Phoenix (1966) 3.55 The Snows Of Kilimanjaro (1952) 5.50 War Of The Worlds (1953) 7.20 California (1946) 9.00 Bandolero! (1968) 10.50 Flight Of The Phoenix (1966) 1.15am Anne Of The Thousand Days (1969) 3.45 Topaz (1969)

11.25am Hollywoodland (2006) 1.35pm Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer (2006) 4.05 The Proposition (1998) 6.00 This Is Indie 6.15 Election (1999) 8.00 Babel (2006) 10.25 American History X (1998) 12.25am London To Brighton (2006) 1.55 Election (1999)

1.00pm You Belong To Me (1941) 2.55 Moonrise (1948) 4.50 North To Alaska (1960) 7.10 The Man Who Knew Too Little (1997) 9.00 Blade: Trinity (2004) 11.10 Hostage (2005) 1.00am Serial Mom (1994) John Waters’ black comedy of a serial killing mother in middle America, played by Kathleen Turner.

11.00am The Human Comedy (1943) 1.00pm The Barretts Of Wimpole Street (1957) 3.00 In Which We Serve (1942) 5.05 Dressed To Kill (1946) 6.35 Mrs Soffel (1984) 8.30 The Screening Room 9.00 Serpico (1973) 11.20 Shaft (1971) 1.05am Zabriskie Point (1969) 3.05 That’s Dancing! (1985)


043_LS398_TV_Sat

11/6/08

4:33 PM

Page 1

saturday 15 Jail Date Channel 4, 7pm Director Lizzie Wingham looks at the growing phenomenon of ‘jail date’ websites, where single men hook up with women behind bars. Wingham meets Richard from Essex, who is prepared to forego sex while love interest Beckey serves a life sentence, and Mike , who awaits his jail date Sheila’s imminent release.

Outnumbered BBC1, 9.05pm Semi-improvised sitcom detailing the lives of two young professionals as they attempt to raise their children returns. A wedding gives the children the opportunity to dress up, interrogate the bride, test the Vicar’s faith in God and dip unsuitable things in the chocolate fountain. Bring it on.

100 Greatest Sex Symbols E4, 9pm A countdown of the 100 greatest sex symbols of all time. Supermodels, musicians and screen icons dominate, but there are also surprise cartoon characters and superheroes. As well as revealing the poll results, the programme tells the fascinating stories behind some of the beautiful faces featured.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Indian Food Made Easy 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 Rugby League World Cup 2.00 Rugby Union: Scotland V South Africa 4.30 Final Score 5.15 BBC News 5.30 Regional News And Weather 5.35 Hole In The Wall

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Roar 7.57 The Owl 8.00 The Secret Show 8.15 Sportsround 8.27 Bernard 8.30 Gimme A Break 9.00 TMi 10.30 Hot Rods 10.55 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 11.00 The Secret Show 11.15 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.45 Eliot Kid 12.00pm Malcolm In The Middle 12.20 Malcolm In The Middle 12.45 Mission Beach USA 1.15 Sound 1.45 The Surgery 2.05 FILM: Camelot (1967) 4.55 Rugby Union: Ireland V New Zealand 7.05 Coast The team is in the northwest of England, on a journey that includes a brand-new location for Coast – the Isle of Man. Neil Oliver discovers why Americans once attacked the English port of Whitehaven. Miranda Krestovnikoff is in search of the biggest sharks in British waters. And Alice Roberts meets a woman with a remarkable story of childhood in the Isle of Man’s internment camps. 8.05 Stephen Fry In America Stephen visits the airborne border patrol agents at the Canadian border in Montana, then heads to the Mexican border in Texas, all the while admiring the Rocky Mountains. He encounters Ted Turner and his 50,000 bison, Wyoming ranchers who have close encounters with wolves and bears and rides on a dogsled. 9.05 The Fallen A powerful and poignant film in which families and friends of those who have died fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq talk openly about their loved ones and their grief. Epic in scale and spanning seven years of war, this landmark three-hour film gives a rare insight into the personal impact and legacy of this loss. 12.10am FILM: The Governess (1997) Period drama. 2.00 FILM: American Movie (1999) 3.40 FILM: Fiend Without A Face (1958) Sci-fi drama.

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Captain Mack 9.40 Emu 9.55 My Parents Are Aliens 10.25 My Life As A Popat 10.55 Drake And Josh 11.25 Horrid Henry 11.40 Planet Sketch 11.50 ITV News And Weather 11.55 Meridian News And Weather 12.00pm Coronation Street Omnibus 2.10 FILM: The Ladykillers (1955) 3.50 Midsomer Murders 5.50 Meridian News And Weather

6.05am Making It 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 Planet Cook 7.00 Goalissimo! 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 Orange UnsignedAct 9.55 The Hills 10.25 Friends 10.55 Friends 11.30 Everybody Loves Lil Chris 11.55 Reaper 12.55pm 101 Challenges 1.45 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 FILM: Brewster’s Millions (1985)

6.05 ITV News and Weather 6.20 New You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill is back presenting viewers’ hilarious home footage filmed on their camcorders and mobile phones. 6.50 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Harry Hill tucks in to more televisual treats. 7.20 The X Factor The seven remaining acts sing for the chance to stay in the competition. 8.35 We Are Most Amused Phillip Schofield and John Cleese introduce a night of comedy celebrating the Prince of Wales’s 60th birthday in aid of the Prince’s Trust. Featuring Robin Williams, Rowan Atkinson, Bill Bailey, Joan Rivers, and Michael McIntyre and Omid Djalili, while Chris Tarrant and Fern Britton guest star in specially-written sketches. 9.35 The X Factor – The Result The two acts with the least number of votes perform one last time in the final showdown. Plus Leona Lewis. 10.20 We Are Most Amused Continues. 10.50 ITV News And Weather 11.05 TV’s Naughtiest Blunders More risque outtakes and unbleeped bloopers, as famous TV faces share their hilarious TV blunders. 12.10am Bingo Night 1.15 Grand Slam Darts 2.10 FILM: Tremors 3: Back To Perfection (2001) 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 How Clean Is Your House? Barney Brooks lives in a beautiful old cottage that has been overwhelmed by his mechanical hobbies. With a new baby on the way, Barney’s partner has called in the experts to rid their house of the junk. 6.30 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.00 Jail Date See highlights. 7.30 The Lost WWI Bunker: A Time Team Special Tony Robinson joins an archaeological expedition in search of a perfectly preserved bunker, or dugout, called the Vampir. Beneath the paralysed front in Belgium, elite tunnelling companies created a deep maze of tunnels and dugouts, which was the only safe place to hide. 9.05 FILM: Transporter 2 (2004) Martial arts action sequel. Frank Martin, whose job is to move packages with no questions asked, returns. Now in Florida, he is given the job of driving the son of Miami’s anti-drugs tsar, but when killers kidnap the boy and frame Frank, takes matters into his own hands. 10.45 FILM: The Omen (2006) See film highlights. 12.50am FILM: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) 2.45 FILM: The Hired Hand (1971) 4.25 St Elsewhere 5.10 Countdown 5.55 Inuk

6.00am Sunrise 7.00 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 7.10 Oswald 7.20 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 7.35 Hana’s Helpline 7.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.10 Little Princess 8.20 The Funky Valley Show 8.35 The Beeps 8.50 The Mr. Men Show 9.10 Rupert Bear 9.25 The Milkshake! Show 9.55 Look! 10.00 The Gadget Show 11.00 Axe Men 12.00pm Mean Machines Of War 12.50 Dangerous Adventures For Boys 1.50 FILM: Behold A Pale Horse (1964) 4.10 Domino Day 2008 5.10 FILM: Splash (1984) 7.00 Five News And Sport 7.10 NCIS Drama series following a team of special agents who investigate crimes connected to Navy and Marine Corps personnel. When the remains of a missing navy lieutenant are found, the team is called in to investigate. 8.05 NCIS Gibbs, Tony and Kate find two crewmen on a ship have overdosed, but neither has a record of drug abuse. 9.05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series about a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. When a famous sitcom actress is murdered, Grissom and his colleagues travel to LA and enter the strange world of Hollywood comedy. It transpires that the victim was disliked by all of her co-stars, leaving the CSIs with a long list of suspects. 10.05 Law And Order: Criminal Intent American police drama series that follows Major Case Squad’s investigation into misdemeanours and felonies. When five young people are found dead by the railway tracks, Goren and Eames initially write it off as suicide. 11.05 The FBI Files Documentary series charting the work of the FBI’s crime laboratory. 12.05am Quiz Call 4.00 Nick’s Quest 4.25 Lemur Island 5.10 House Doctor x2

6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 Big League Weekend 7.30 Off The Bar 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.15 LIVE Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice 11.45 Football First: Match Choice 1.15am Football First: Match Choice 2.45 Football First: Match Choice 4.15 Spanish Football 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

6.05 Strictly Come Dancing The eight remaining celebrities strut their stuff in a bid to wow the judges and win the public’s votes. 7.20 Merlin Uther’s past comes back to haunt him as the fantasy romp based on the legend of King Arthur continues. 8.05 The National Lottery Draws Kirsty Gallacher is live from Lottery HQ with the draws. 8.15 Casualty Hospital drama. Jordan takes steps to ensure that he remains on top. Zoe confronts Abby when she returns to collect Sharice, while Curtis confides in Alice about his past. Meanwhile, drug abuse on the Farmead Estate has far-reaching consequences. 9.05 Outnumbered See highlights. 9.35 BBC News National and international BBC News, Weather. 10.00 Match Of The Day Featuring action from Manchester United’s clash with Stoke City at Old Trafford. Bolton took on an in-form Liverpool, while Chelsea go to the Hawthorns to meet West Brom. Newcastle hosted Wigan, and Blackburn and Sunderland went head to head at Ewood Park. 11.20 FILM: The Mothman Prophecies (2002) Starring Richard Gere. Silly supernatural thriller about moths being the omen for bad things. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Joins BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am America’s Game 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Gillette World Sport 8.30 LIVE Rugby League: World Cup 2008 11.30 Volvo Ocean Race 12.00pm Friday Fight Night 2.00 LIVE International Rugby Union 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 Rugby League: World Cup 2008 8.00 International Rugby Union 10.00 Rugby League: World Cup 2008 12.00am NFL: Total Access 1.00 Spanish Football 2.30 Tennis 4.30 Gillette World Sport 5.00 NFL: Total Access

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Friday Fight Night 9.00 LIVE Masters Cup Tennis 2008 1.00pm NFL: Total Access 2.00 NFL: America’s Game 3.00 Sportnation 4.00 WWE The Bottom Line 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Masters Cup Tennis 2008 9.00 NFL: America’s Game 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 Rugby League: World Cup 2008 4.00 International Rugby Union

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

4.00pm Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Noel’s Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 7.00 Inside Killer Sharks 8.00 UK Border Force 9.00 Ultimate Road Wars 10.00 Street Wars 11.00 Drug Wars: D.E.A. 12.00am Prison Break 1.00 Toughest Seaside Resorts In Britain 2 1.50 The Villa

7.00pm Gaffes Galore 7.05 Rugby Union: England V Australia 8.05 Top Gear 9.05 FILM: Ladder 49 (2004) 10.55 Family Guy (x2) 11.40 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 12.40 Mrs In-Betweeny 1.35 The Real Hustle 2.05 Last Man Standing 3.05 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2)

7.00pm Picture Book 8.05 Natural World (x2) 9.55 Mad Men 10.40 Damages (x3) 12.50 The Hard Sell 1.20 100 Years Of Wildlife Films 3.20 Picture Book 5.30 Close

5.40pm FILM: Liar Liar (1997) 7.20 Lose 30 Stone Or Die 8.20 Planet’s Funniest Animals 8.35 Xtra Factor 9.35 The Saturdays: The Hot Desk 9.50 No Heroics 10.20 Xtra Factor Results 11.05 George Sampson 11.35 Jack Osbourne 12.35am Ghosthunting With... I’m A Celebrity 2.35 The X Factor

1.25pm FILM: Columbo: Uneasy Lies The Crown (1990) 3.25 FILM: Columbo: Caution, Murder Can Be Hazardous To Your Health (1991) 5.15 Inspector Morse 7.20 Agatha Christie’s Marple 9.20 Taggart 10.50 Martina Cole’s Lady Killers 11.50 The Last Detective 1.15am FILM: Madigan (1968)

6.00am Anything Goes (x2) 7.30 Our Showbiz Mates 8.30 Fresh Saturday 10.00 Gilmore Girls (x4) 2.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Supernanny US (x2) 8.00 Friends 8.30 Friends 9.00 100 Greatest Sex Symbols 1.05am The Charlotte Church Show (x2) 2.35 Hollyoaks Omnibus

9.00am Time Team (x5) 2.05 FILM: Carry On Abroad (1972) 3.50 Property Ladder (x4) 8.20 Relocation, Relocation 9.25 D-Day: Time Team Special 10.25 Time Team 11.30 Bremner, Bird And Fortune 12.35am The West Wing 1.35 DDay: Time Team Special 2.35 Time Team Special: The King Of Bling

2.00pm Home Video Heroes (x2) 3.00 The Jerry Springer Show (x6) 6.00 Will And Grace (x2) 7.00 Criminal Minds 8.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Masters Of Horror 11.10 CSI 12.10am Blood Ties 1.05 Charmed 2.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 3.00 Boston Legal

G.O.L.D.

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

5.30pm The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 7.20 The Good Life 8.00 FILM: Father Of The Bride (1991) 10.00 Absolutely Fabulous 10.40 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.20 French And Saunders 12.00am Absolutely Fabulous 12.40 Gimme Gimme Gimme 1.20 New Adventures Of Old Christine 1.50 Starstruck

12.00pm Scrubs (x2) 1.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 2.00 Scrubs (x2) 3.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2)4.00 Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2)6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Scrubs (x9) 2.30 Happy Tree Friends

3.00pm Crime Museum UK With Martin Kemp (x2) 4.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 5.00 My Shocking Story 6.00 Chop Shop 7.00 American Chopper 8.00 Mythbusters 9.00 FILM: Red Planet (2000) 11.30 Crime Museum UK 12.00am Unsolved Murders (x2) 1.00 Most Evil 2.00 Forensic Detectives

11.00am Star Trek (x2) 1.00 Thunderbirds (x3)4.15 Quantum Leap 6.15 V: The Mini Series 8.05 FILM: Mystery Of The Crystal Skull () 9.45 FILM: Equilibrium (2002) 11.55 FILM: The Last Winter (2006) 1.55am FILM: Idle Hands (1999) 3.45 FILM: Hercules And The Amazon Women (1994)

Classics

Indie

10.50am Samson And Delilah (1949) 1.00pm The Sound Of Music (1965) 3.55 The Apartment (1960) 6.05 Holiday Inn (1942) 7.50 Duck Soup (1933) 9.00 The Sound Of Music (1965) 11.55 Samson And Delilah (1949) 2.05am Rooster Cogburn (1975) 4.00 The Apartment (1960)

11.05am Mulholland Drive (2001) 1.35pm Water (2005) 3.30 Letters From Iwo Jima (2006) 5.50 Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny (2006) 7.30 London Film Festival Special 8.00 Mulholland Drive (2001) 10.30 Death Proof (2007) 12.35am Hana-Bi (1997) 2.25 Death Proof (2007)

1.00pm The Beverly Hillbillies (1993) 2.50 Johnny O’Clock (1947) 4.45 The Quiller Memorandum (1966) 6.50 Mighty Joe Young (1998) 9.00 Boat Trip (2002) 10.50 Renaissance (2006) 12.50am Human Traffic (1999) 2.55 Close

9.20am In Which We Serve (1942) 11.15 The Liquidator (1966) 1.00pm The Philadelphia Story (1940) 3.00 Kings Go Forth (1958) 5.00 My Favourite Year (1982) 6.40 Northwest Passage (1940) 9.00 Point Blank (1967) 10.35 The Screening Room 11.00 Classic Shorts Finalist 12.00am Hysteria (1965)


044_LS398_TV_Sun

11/7/08

10:45 AM

Page 1

sunday 16 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! ITV1, 9pm Ten new celebrities brave this year’s jungle adventures. Surprises come thick and fast as they face a terrifying journey before being allowed to settle into the camp they will call home for the next three weeks. Go on, you know you love it, bring on the trials and the squealing!

Sam Taylor-Wood: The South Bank Show ITV1, 10.45pm Documentary recording a year in the life of film-maker and photographer Sam Taylor-Wood. The camera follows her as she makes her debut narrative film and as she attends her first major US retrospective and prepares for a new exhibition at the White Cube Gallery in London.

Mark Lawson Talks To Quentin Blake BBC4, 10.30pm In a rare interview, Quentin Blake talks to Mark Lawson about life as one of Britain’s best-known illustrators and authors. His most prolific collaboration was with Roald Dahl and together they produced some of the most famous children’s books ever, including The Twits and Matilda.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Best Of Sunday Life 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 1.25 EastEnders 2.50 Cash In The Attic 3.20 The Sarah Jane Adventures 4.15 Merlin 5.00 Points Of View 5.15 Songs Of Praise 5.50 BBC News

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 6.55 Tweenies Songtime 7.00 Roar 7.57 The Owl 8.00 The Secret Show 8.15 Sportsround 8.27 Bernard 8.30 Gimme A Break 9.00 TMi 10.30 Hot Rods 10.55 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 11.00 The Secret Show 11.15 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.45 Eliot Kid 12.00pm Malcolm In The Middle 12.20 Malcolm In The Middle 12.45 Mission Beach USA 1.15 Sound 1.45 The Surgery 2.05 FILM: Camelot (1967) 4.55 Rugby Union: Ireland V New Zealand

6.10am Planet Cook 6.35 Trans World Sport 7.35 Clipper Round The World Yacht Race 8.30 Adrenalin Rush 9.00 Friends 9.40 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.10pm Frock Me 1.00 Channel 4 Racing 3.30 Friends 4.00 The Simpsons 4.30 The Simpsons 5.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.45 Bear Grylls: Born Survivor

6.00 Wild China Documentary capturing pioneering images to exhibit the dazzling array of mysterious and wonderful creatures in China’s most beautiful landscapes. 7.00 Long Way Down Continuing their motorcycle adventure through France and Italy, Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman realise their schedule is too tight. 8.00 Top Gear Motoring news and views from the usual team. Mark Wahlberg is the Hollywood Star In A Reasonably Priced Car. 9.00 Dragons Den: The Dragons’ Stories Profiling Peter Jones: discover how he made, and why he lost, his first fortune. 10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Adrian Chiles presents highlights and reaction from today’s two Premier League games. 10.50 Looking For Dad Filmmaker Charlie Russell and his brother take a trip in search of information on their late father, who they hadn’t seen for seven years before his death. Sorting through his flat, they attempt to piece together their father’s life, using the clues they find to go in search of people who knew him. 11.50 The Graham Norton Show Showbiz, chat, jokes and stories. 12.35am Heroes 1.15 FILM: The Plague (2006) 3.00 Joins BBC News 4.35 Inside Sport

6.00am Kid’s TV 7.15 Oswald 7.30 Hana’s Helpline 7.40 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 7.55 Look! 8.00 Little Princess 8.10 The Funky Valley Show 8.25 The Beeps 8.40 The Mr. Men Show 9.00 Rupert Bear 9.15 The Milkshake! Show 9.40 What Makes Me Happy 10.00 Nature Shock 11.00 Super Typhoon: Perfect Disaster 12.00pm Zoo Days 12.30 FILM: The Woman In Question (1950) 2.15 FILM: Columbo: It’s All In The Game (1993) 4.15 FILM: Fly Away Home (1996) 6.15 Five News National and international news. 6.25 FILM: For A Few Dollars More (1965) Starring Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, Gian Volonte, Jose Egger, Klaus Kinski and Mara Krup. Sequel to classic spaghetti western A Fistful of Dollars in which the mysterious bounty hunter known only as ‘the man with no name’ forms an uneasy alliance with a sharpshooting former colonel in order to catch a bandit. As they close in, it transpires that the soldier’s desire to capture the outlaw is motivated by more than just the financial reward on offer. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly completed Sergio Leone’s ‘Dollar’ trilogy two years later. 9.00 FILM: Erin Brockovich (2000) See film highlights. 11.35 Danger Men: Red Arrows Six-part series examining some of the most dangerous jobs in the world and profiling the men who risk their lives to put in an honest day’s work. This instalment throws the spotlight on the daredevils of the Royal Air Force, the elite Red Arrows aerobatics display team. 12.35am NFL American football featuring the Dallas Cowboys at the Washington Redskins. Presented by Nat Coombs and Mike Carlson. 4.20 A1 Grand Prix 5.10 House Doctorx2

6.00am Gillette World Sport 6.30 Football First: Match Choice 8.00 Football First: Match Choice 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 12.00am Spanish Football 1.30 Ford Football Special 3.00 Super Sunday: The Last Word 3.30 LIVE International Cricket

6.00 Regional News and Weather 6.15 Little Dorrit Pancks recruits John Chivery to help him resolve the mystery of the connection between the Dorrit family and the House of Clennam. 7.15 Antiques Roadshow It takes five men to lift in a piece which is awarded the highest valuation ever seen on the programme. 8.15 Strictly Come Dancing: Results The eight remaining celebrities take to the dance floor. 9.00 Stephen Fry In America Stephen concludes with a trip to the Pacific Northwest. He begins in San Francisco’s Chinatown, before crossing the Golden Gate Bridge to join the Sheriff of Mendocino on a drugs bust. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Spooks The team are stunned to discover that Al Qaeda’s number three wants to negotiate. 11.20 FILM: The Life And Death Of Peter Sellers (2004) Award-winning film documenting Peter Sellers’ turbulent rise from popular BBC radio performer to one of the world’s most gifted comedic actors. 1.15am Weatherview Detailed weather forecast. 1.20 Sign Zone: A Woman In Love And War 2.20 Holby City 3.20 The Dark Side Of Fame 4.05: The Man Who Cycled The World 4.35 Joins BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Art Attack 9.50 Prove It! 10.10 Finger Tips 10.30 Finger Tips 10.50 Planet Sketch 10.55 The Championship 11.55 ITV News And Weather 12.00pm Meridian News And Weather 12.05 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 12.35 FILM: Beethoven’s 4th (2001) 2.15 The X Factor 3.30 The X Factor – The Result 4.15 Meridian News And Weather 4.30 FILM: Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977) 5.30 ITV News And Weather 5.45 FILM: Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977) 7.00 Britannia High When Lola bumps into Matt Willis on a night out and gets photographed with him, she sells her story and starts to make up lies about him to keep herself in the press. But her new-found celebrity status comes at a price, and she begins to alienate her friends as she tries to remain in the limelight. 8.00 Heartbeat The police investigate when the rivalry between two brass bands leads to violence. Dawn finds romance with a handsome stranger, but her happiness may not last. 9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! See highlights. 10.30 ITV News and Weather 10.45 Sam Taylor-Wood: The South Bank Show See highlights. 11.45 Superhuman: Genius A documentary which looks at the phenomenon of amazingly gifted people in music, science and the arts including child prodigies with jawdropping talents. Is their genius due to nature, or nurture? We meet 13-year-old Akiane who has been painting since the age of four and sells her pictures for huge sums. 12.45am Grand Slam Darts Highlights 1.40 60 Minute Makeover 2.30 Antiques Auction x2 3.20 Have I Been Here Beforex2 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.45 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.00 Bremner, Bird And Fortune: Silly Money Topical comedy . 8.00 Wife Swap USA A vain mother from Florida who spends hours on her appearance trades places with a Arizonan mum whose family are fascinated by morbidity. Where do they find these people?! 9.00 FILM: AVP: Alien Vs Predator (2004) A team of explorers discover a temple buried deep within the Antarctic ice and find themselves trapped in an ancient battlezone with the two most ferocious species in the galaxy. The technologically advanced Predator warriors have come to the temple for a coming-of-age intiation rite that demands they must defeat the savage Aliens. 10.45 FILM: Fight Club (1999) Anarchic, nihilistic satire on modern life in which an office worker who feels emotionally deadened by his consumerist lifestyle has a chance encounter with a charismatic man. Finding that they are kindred spirits, the two men start up a no-holdsbarred bare-knuckle fighting club, with the aim of making its members feel ‘alive’ once again. 1.25am Brothers And Sistersx 2 3.10 St Elsewhere 4.00 Outback Art 5.00 Countdown 5.45 The Hoobs

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Wild Spirits 6.30 International Rugby Union 8.30 LIVE Rugby League: World Cup 2008 11.30 International Rugby Union 1.30pm Wild Spirits 2.00 Rugby League: World Cup 2008 4.00 Wild Spirits 4.30 NFL: Total Access 5.30 NFL: Livewire 6.00 LIVE: NFL 9.00 LIVE: NFL 12.30am NFL: Top Ten 1.20 LIVE NFL 4.20 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sydney Marathon Sportnation 8.00 LIVE Masters Cup Tennis 2008 10.30 Seamaster Sailing 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Wild Spirits 12.00pm Sydney Marathon 1.00 NFL: Total Access 2.00 Masters Cup Tennis 2008 4.00 WWE Experience 5.00 Rugby League: World Cup 2008 7.00 Masters Cup Tennis 2008 9.00 WWE Special 10.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.00 WWE Vintage Collection 12.00am Rugby League: World Cup 2008 2.00 Women’s Pool 3.00 Women’s Pool 4.00 Women’s Pool 5.00 Close

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm UK Border Force (x2) 2.00 The Boyz Are Back In Town 3.00 Boyzone Live 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Futurama 6.30 The Simpsons 7.00 Gladiators 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 Fringe 10.10 Bones 11.10 Cold Case 12.10am Ultimate Road Wars 1.10 Road Wars

7.00pm Dog Borstal 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Growing Up Skint 10.00 Family Guy 10.25 Family Guy 10.45 The Last Millionaire 11.45 Bryony Makes A Zombie Movie 12.15am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.10 Touch Me, I’m Karen Taylor 1.40 The Last Millionaire

7.00pm Natural World (x3) 9.30 How To Solve A Cryptic Crossword: Timeshift 10.30 Mark Lawson Talks To Quentin Blake 11.30 Jackanory (x2) 12.00am BBC Four Sessions 1.00 How To Solve A Cryptic Crossword: Timeshift 2.00 Mark Lawson Talks To Quentin Blake 3.00 BBC Four Sessions

1.35pm FILM: The Flintstones (1994) 3.20 Coronation Street Omnibus 5.45 The X Factor 7.00 The Fashion Show 8.00 The X Factor - The Result 8.45 FILM: Liar Liar (1997) 10.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.30 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show (x2) 12.30 Celebrity Juice 1.00 Jack Osbourne

10.30am The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes 11.35 The Blackheath Poisonings 12.40pm Inspector Morse 2.40 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x3) 7.00 Jeeves And Wooster 8.00 There’s Something About... Morse 9.00 Lewis: Whom The Gods Would Destroy 11.10 Liverpool One 12.15am Hammer House Of Horror

12.25pm Roswell (x2) 2.10 Smallville: Superman The Early Years (x2) 4.00 The War At Home (x2) 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 Samantha Who? 11.30 Sex And The City (x2) 12.45 The Charlotte Church Show (x2)

1.50pm Location, Location, Location (x5) 4.35 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.25 Jamie At Home 7.55 River Cottage: Gone Fishing 9.00 The Secret Millionaire 10.00 Saving Africa’s Witch Children 11.05 Father Ted (x2) 12.05am Deal Or No Deal 12.55 The Secret Millionaire 1.55 Saving Africa’s Witch Children

12.00pm America’s Next Top Model 1.00 Exposed: Britney Spears 2.00 Maury (x3) 4.40 The Fix 5.00 America’s Next Top Model 6.00 Dirty Dancing: The Time Of Your Life 7.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 Lipstick Jungle 9.00 CSI (x3) 12.00am Blood Ties 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Veronica Mars

G.O.L.D.

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.30pm My Family 5.10 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 7.00 Keeping Up Appearances 7.40 The Good Life 8.20 Dinnerladies 9.00 Victoria Wood Live 11.00 French And Saunders 11.40 Dinnerladies 12.20am New Adventures Of Old Christine (x2) 1.20 French And Saunders 2.00 New Adventures Of Old Christine

6.00am QVC: Shopping Made Easy 9.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x21) 9.00pm South Park (x2) 10.00 Scrubs (x6) 1.00 South Park 1.30 Scrubs (x4) 3.30 Celebrity Death Match 3.55 Everybody Loves Raymond (x5)

11.00am Mega Builders 12.00pm NASA’s Greatest Missions (x6) 6.00 Mythbusters 7.00 Chop Shop 8.00 My Shocking Story 9.00 FILM: Red Planet (2000) 11.30 Crime Museum UK With Martin Kemp 12.00am Unsolved Murders (x2) 1.00 Most Evil 2.00 Forensic Detectives 3.00 American Chopper

1.00pm FILM: Disaster Zone: Volcano In New York (2006) 2.50 FILM: Countdown: The Sky’s On Fire (1998) 4.50 Eli Stone 5.50 Thunderbirds 7.00 V 9.00 FILM: Yeti (2006) 10.50 Thunderbirds 11.55 FILM: Solo (1996) 1.45am Star Trek 3.00 Dead Like Me 4.00 FILM: Hercules In The Underworld (1994)

Classics

Indie

12.45pm Road To Morocco (1942) 2.15 35mm 2.45 Journey To The Center Of The Earth (1959) 5.00 The Robe (1953) 7.20 The Outof-Towners (1970) 9.00 The Blob (1958) 10.30 Journey To The Center Of The Earth (1959) 12.45am 35mm 1.15 The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) 3.25 35mm

2.30pm Little Miss Sunshine (2006) 4.15 Whatever Happened To Harold Smith? (1999) 5.55 New Police Story (2004) 8.00 Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993) 9.50 Volver (2006) 11.55 Little Miss Sunshine (2006) 1.40am Whatever Happened To Harold Smith? (1999)

1.00pm Congo (1995) 3.00 Black Narcissus (1946) 5.00 Hell And High Water (1954) 7.10 Napoleon Dynamite (2004) 9.00 Keeping Mum (2005) 11.00 GI Jane (1997) 1.20am Quills (2000) 3.45 Close

10.30am The Screening Room 11.00 Designing Woman (1957) 1.10pm Made In Paris (1966) 3.00 Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988) 4.55 The Opposite Sex (1956) 6.55 The Yellow Rolls-Royce (1965) 9.00 Memphis Belle (1990) 11.00 Classic Shorts Finalist 11.55 Ransom (1956) 1.40am In Our Time (1944)


045_LS398_TV_Mon

11/7/08

10:46 AM

Page 1

monday 17 Location, Location, Location Channel 4, 9pm Kirstie and Phil are back and with the UK heading towards a recession, the property market looks more treacherous than ever. They give expert advice on how to survive the credit crunch, with tips to help home owners, buyers and sellers make the right moves in an unsettled market. Steady as she goes…

World War II Behind Closed Doors BBC2, 9pm Stalin was a tyrant responsible for the death of millions – yet he was also a vital ally of Britain and America during the Second World War. How was it possible to deal with one tyrant – Stalin – in order to help beat Hitler? Tonight, the history of Stalin Churchill and the West.

Clone BBC3, 8.30pm Comedy series about the first human clone, an innocent being who is experiencing our world for the first time. Intended to be a prototype super soldier who will replace Britain’s volunteer Army, his creator discovers his new super weapon is not quite the awe-inspiring creation he expected.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 How To Survive The Property Crisis 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Bargain Hunt 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.25 Uncle Max 3.35 Watch My Chops 3.50 The Secret Show 4.05 Get 100 4.35 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today Regional news and weather. 7.00 The One Show Stories from around the UK. 7.30 Watchdog The latest consumer news and advice. 7.57 BBC News And Regional News Bulletin from the BBC. 8.00 EastEnders Roxy is rushed to the hospital in premature labour. 8.30 Panorama Sorious Samura visits Uganda and Sierra Leone to reveal how aid money is lost, stolen and frittered away. 9.00 Spooks The British economy is on the brink of collapse and if one more bank goes down the entire system will implode. Sound familiar? 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today Local news. 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 A Question Of Sport Sports quiz with top stars. 11.05 Inside Sport Gabby Logan presents a weekly sports show. 11.35 FILM: Pure (2002) Starring Keira Knightley. Despite his widowed mother being a drug addict, ten-yearold Paul is determined to maintain family life. 1.10am Autumnwatch Weatherview Detailed weather forecast. 1.15 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 2.15 Little Dorrit x2 3.15 Recipe For Success 4.00 Joins BBC News

6.00am Kid’s TV 9.20 Charlie And Lola 9.30 Finley The Fire Engine 9.45 The Koala Brothers 9.55 Fun With Phonics 10.00 Big Barn Farm 10.15 Get Squiggling 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Fun With Phonics 11.10 Primary Geography 11.20 Look And Read 11.40 Victorian Scotland: Looking For Evidence 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Animal 24:7 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Behind-the-scenes. 7.00 This World: The Man Who Armed The World The story of the international sting which brought arms dealer Russian businessman Viktor Bout to justice, and the battle to extradite him to the USA. 8.00 University Challenge University of Manchester take on the University of York. 8.30 Indian Food Made Easy Scottie is captain of one of Leicester’s oldest rugby clubs. Every week they have a curry. Anjum convinces him to make his own Indian meal for the players. 9.00 World War II Behind Closed Doors See highlights. 10.00 QI Children In Need Special Quiz show in which contestants are rewarded more if their answers are ‘quite interesting’. Host Stephen Fry quizzes Terry Wogan, David Mitchell, Ronni Ancona and Alan Davies. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis.. 11.20 Band Of Brothers Epic World War II drama. Two days after D-Day, Easy Company is sent to take the town of Carentan. 12.20am Ellery Queen 1.10 Joins BBC News 4.00 Class Clips 5.00 I-Science A fun

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 House Guest 2.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.15 Spin Star 4.00 Rosemary Shrager’s School For Cooks 5.00 Golden Balls

6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Just Shoot Me 8.25 Just Shoot Me 8.55 Frasier 9.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.00 Take Away My Takeaway 10.30 Lifeproof TV 11.00 KNTV Sex 11.30 The Family: Teen Stories 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Brief History Of Fun 12.50 Will And Grace 1.20 FILM: Eye Of The Needle (1981) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00am LIVE International Cricket 12.00pm Snow Adventures 12.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.00 Ford Football Special 2.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 3.00 International Cricket 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.30 LIVE Irish Football 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.00 Big League Weekend 12.30am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 Live NFL 5.00 Wild Spirits 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly

6.00 Meridian Tonight Local news and weather. 6.30 ITV Evening News and Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Will Donald sabotage Anna’s relationship? 7.30 Coronation Street Tara’s shocking news inflames Dev’s guilt. 8.00 How Safe Is Your Job? Tonight What are your chances of joining the dole queue by Christmas? 8.30 Coronation Street Will Hayley finally return to the street? 9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! They are still being nice to each other at this point and the full reality of bush tucker trials and hunger hasn’t hit – yet. 10.00 News At Ten and Weather 10.40 Deep Wreck Mysteries Ateam of divers explores a World War II U-boat. 11.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Harry Hill tucks in to another feast of televisual treats. 11.40 Kelly Osbourne: Turning Japanese Kelly Osbourne loves shopping in Japan, but will her working holiday leave her dying to stay or longing to leave? 12.35am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.05 Grand Slam Darts 1.55 Loose Women 2.45 Chef V Britain x2 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons A compilation of musical highlights. 6.30 Hollyoaks Michaela reels from Myra’s rejection and a further spat with Carmel. Dom is having difficulty removing Ste and Justin from his flat. 7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport and weather. 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Kids’ Conference At The Tate Creative ambassadors from schools around the country present a manifesto for action and pupils present their own vision for a creative future. 8.00 The Ascent Of Money Landmark series in which Professor Niall Ferguson analyses the story of money and the rise of global finance. Ferguson first looks at the origins of banking and argues that the evolution of credit and debt was crucial in the rise of civilisation, from ancient Babylon to modern-day America. Vital viewing at a scary time. 9.00 Location, Location, Location See highlights. 10.35 FILM: Underworld: Evolution (2006) Starring Kate Beckinsale. Action-packed vampire sequel. 12.35am Bremner, Bird And Fortune: Silly Money Topical satirical comedy. 1.40 The Ambulance: 8 Minutes To Disaster 2.40 Unreported World 3.05 Saving Africa’s Witch Children 4.00 Star Maths x10

6.00am Kid’s TV 7.20 Roobarb And Custard Too 7.30 The Mr. Men Show 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Rupert Bear 8.50 Pocoyo 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Polar Bear Week With Nigel Marven 12.15pm Zoo Days 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.05 FILM: Columbo: Strange Bedfellows (1995) 5.00 Five News With Matt Barbet 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home and Away Will Aden compromise his only chance of walking free? 6.30 Zoo Days Vet James Chatterton must operate on one of the zoo’s big cats. But with this ferocious feline, it is not going to be a straightforward task. Chester’s baby penguins have outgrown their nesting boxes. 7.00 Five News At 7 National and international news. 7.30 Rough Guide To Tropical Islands Travel series presented by Julia Bradbury and Toby Amies. Julia snorkels and swims in the beautiful waters of the Cayman Islands while Toby explores the politics, history and culture of Cuba’s capital city, Havana. 8.00 The Gadget Show Consumer technology show. Jason gives a rundown of the five best computer games available, and Jon focuses on cameras with Lady Victoria Hervey. 9.00 Unbreakable Adventure series with explorer Benedict Allen in which eight intrepid volunteers undergo an onslaught of physical and mental pressure in a bid to be declared ‘unbreakable’. The challengers battle ruthless Zulu warriors in South Africa. 10.00 FILM: Sudden Impact (1983) See film highlights. 12.20am Disorderly Conduct 1.20 NFL Live 4.45 Golf 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 11.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 11.30 Seamaster Sailing 12.00pm NFL GameDay 1.30 NFL: Top Ten 2.30 Seamaster Sailing 3.00 Spanish Football 4.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.00 International Cricket 7.00 Golf 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 NFL: Gameday 11.30 International Cricket 1.30am Irish Football 3.00 Big League Weekend 4.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Adventures 7.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 8.00 Sydney Marathon 9.00 NASCAR 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Rugby League: World Cup 2008 2.00 Sydney Marathon 3.00 NASCAR 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 NFL: Gameday 8.30 Top 10 Single Season Performances 9.30 Irish Showjumping Premier Series 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 Live WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Irish Showjumping Premier Series 4.45 Close

Alison Swann

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Stargate Atlantis 1.00 Project Runway 2.00 Law And Order 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Stargate Atlantis 5.00 Gladiators: Battle Of The Forces 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x4) 8.30 Futurama 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 FILM: The Matrix (1999) 12.40am Road Wars 1.40 Stargate SG-1 (x2)

7.00pm Doctor Who (x2) 8.30 Clone 9.00 Little Britain 9.30 Summer Heights High 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Spooks 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.20am Summer Heights High 12.50 Clone 1.20 Last Man Standing 2.15 The Real Hustle: High Stakes 2.45 Growing Up Skint 3.45 Last Man Standing

7.00pm News 7.30 Studs Terkel: Profile 8.00 The Hard Sell 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 The Department Store: Milners 10.00 I’m Not Dead Yet: Storyville 11.10 Parallel Worlds, Parallel Lives 12.10am The Department Store: Milners 1.10 I’m Not Dead Yet: Storyville 2.20 The Hard Sell 2.50 Only Connect

4.30pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5.15 The Montel Williams Show 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Britannia High 8.00 FILM: The Flintstones (1994) 9.50 McFly: The Hot Desk 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.00 Celebrity Juice 11.30 FILM: Junior (1994) 1.40am Coronation Street (x2)

12.50pm Inspector Morse 2.55 Wycliffe 4.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Jeeves And Wooster 9.00 Martina Cole’s Lady Killers 10.00 George Baker - Wexford & Me 10.05 Inspector Wexford: Some Lie And Some Die 1.15am Jeeves And Wooster

12.45pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 One Tree Hill 2.35 The OC 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: School Of Rock (2003) 11.10 Derren Brown: Something Wicked This Way Comes 12.50am The Convention Crasher (x2)

1.10pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 ER 3.00 Hill Street Blues 4.00 A Place In The Sun (x2) 5.05 Grand Designs 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Property Ladder 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 The Home Show 10.00 Grand Designs Revisited 11.05 Without A Trace 12.05am The Closer 1.05 The Home Show

11.55am Maury (x2) 1.45 The Fix 2.00 The Doctors Live 3.00 Grey’s Anatomy 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 America’s Next Top Model (x2) 10.00 Lipstick Jungle 11.00 CSI 12.00am Grey’s Anatomy 1.00 America’s Next Top Model (x2) 3.00 Boston Legal

G.O.L.D.

Paramount

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.40pm To The Manor Born 4.20 As Time Goes By 5.00 Keeping Up Appearances 5.40 Waiting For God 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 Open All Hours 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Fawlty Towers (x2) 11.00 A Bit Of Fry And Laurie 11.45 Fawlty Towers (x2) 1.10 A Bit Of Fry And Laurie

4.00pm The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Coupling 11.50 Two And A Half Men 12.20am Courting Alex 12.50 Frasier (x2) 1.50 Coupling

2.30pm Unsolved Murders 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 American Chopper (x2) 10.00 Chop Shop 11.00 Couples Who Kill 12.00am Deranged Killers 1.00 A Haunting 2.00 Forensic Detectives

11.00am Thunderbirds 12.05pm The Lost World 1.00 Quantum Leap 2.00 The Invisible Man 3.00 FILM: Past Tense (2006) 5.00 Thunderbirds 6.05 Angel 7.00 The Invisible Man 8.00 Medium 9.00 Eli Stone 10.00 FILM: Minority Report (2002) 12.50am FILM: Equilibrium (2002) 3.00 Angel 4.00 The Lost World

Classics

Indie

9.55am The Nutty Professor (1963) 11.50 West Side Story (1961) 2.25pm Safety Last (1923) 3.50 The Blue Dahlia (1946) 5.35 Niagara (1952) 7.10 The Nutty Professor (1963) 9.00 I’ll Never Forget What’s ‘is Name (1969) 10.45 Charade (1963) 12.45am The Blue Dahlia (1946)

2.20pm Schultze Gets The Blues (2003) 4.20 Wah-Wah (2006) 6.05 This Is Indie 6.20 Thank You For Smoking (2005) 8.00 A Scanner Darkly (2006) 9.45 This Is Indie 10.00 Videodrome (1982) 11.30 Happiness (1999) 1.50am The Last Mogul: Life And Times Of Lew Wasserman (2005)

1.00pm The Silver Fleet (1943) 2.45 Chance Of A Lifetime (1950) 4.35 Dakota Incident (1956) 6.25 K-19: The Widowmaker (2002) 9.00 The Wind That Shakes The Barley (2006) 11.25 The Cave (2005) 1.25am Kontroll (2003) 3.40 Close

9.25 Live A Little, Love A Little (1968) 11.00 Romeo And Juliet (1936) 1.15pm Gaby (1956) 3.00 Rich, Young And Pretty (1951) 4.45 Guns For San Sebastian (1968) 6.45 Ten Thousand Bedrooms (1957) 9.00 Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid (1973) 11.15 The Last Run (1971) 1.00am The Man Who Laughs (1966)


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