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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
★ jobs ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 20 – 26 January 2009
FREE WEEKLY
let’s get physical head down to alive gym for the hottest spot to shape up in 2009 page 18 coming of age seth green talks about his amish role in sex drive
all woman fay weldon on a life in words and loving boho brighton being resolute how to keep to those new year plans
HALF PRICE SALE AT BEAUTIQUE BRIGHTON All beauty treatments half price at Beautique Brighton. Call now to book an appointment on 01273 711077. Valid until 10 February 2009 Bring this voucher and mention Latest 7 when booking
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Contents
Welcome
★ latest jobs 4
Whether you’re a local or a tourist, you‘re in the right place to keep in touch with what‘s going on around Brighton and Hove this week. If you’re still thinking about keeping fit, eating right and keeping to those new year’s resolutions, turn to page 18 for Zara Baker’s take on what you can do to boost your health and wellbeing while being kind to yourself. On the same page, Alive gym is offering a 50 percent discount on admin fees and personal training for Latest 7 readers. Author Fay Weldon is appearing at The Space, Brighton’s monthly media and arts networking event, in a couple of weeks. On page 11, she talks to Andy Morton about religion, buses and her son‘s Brighton band. Glastonbury founder Michael Eavis was at the last Space. If you want to hear what our reviewer thought, see page 19. of Montreal are coming to Digital this weekend and Lily Allen is playing at the Dome in the spring; find out more in our music section on page 26. We also have a round up of the best and worst album and single releases, including Lily Allen’s latest offering, and you can learn who’s top of this week’s Latest download chart (p28). In music news, our beloved Beachdown Festival has announced which local bands will be playing at this year’s event on the August bank holiday weekend. I hear there are some great deals to be had by getting your ticket now – the first 500 are being sold at the 2008 price with two Tshirts or £30 of drinks vouchers included. Seann Walsh, our most recent addition to Latest magazine, confesses this week that he has trouble holding down a ‘regular’ job (p5). Meanwhile, Dani is fed up with Brighton buses and extra packaging in the supermarket (p7), Alison’s worried that pregnancy is catching and Will has begun the first of his 30 missions (p8). Andrew’s food column has been missing for a few weeks. If you read Kay Town in Latest Homes, you’ll know he’s been busy moving home. But he’s back now with a review of an evening spent with the Chilli Chicks learning to cook Thai food (p15). Madeira Drive artist Julie-Anne Gilburt managed to help raise a spectacular £40,000 for charity by staging a celebrity art auction in London. Julie-Anne teamed up with the Willow Foundation, which provides special days for seriously ill 16 to 40-year-olds. Read more in Tim’s Social Diary (p6). Some comedians have famously overcome struggles such as drink problems, political uturns and airing their dirty laundry onstage. But, Victoria Nangle says, there is one crime that means comedic death: stealing other people’s jokes (p24). In Latest Homes, Latest Interiors says there is still time to get to the sales (p9) and we explain why now is the best time to buy a home (p17).
★ latest listings 19–39
4 Would you get your clothes off for more than £20 an hour?
★latest upfront 5–11
19 Reviews and listings Michael Eavis, Tag Comedy, Off The Cuff and Afterspark
21 Stage Holiday on Ice’s Mystery reviewed
5 Seann knows what he’s good at… it begins with z and ends with zzz
5 Get your head around our crossword 6 Julie Anne-Gilburt’s Stars on Canvas 6 Win books and Johnny Thunders CDs
22 Film If you’re feeling the pinch, how about a night out at the pictures?
19
11
23 Film interview Seth Green on starring in the teen flick Sex Drive
7 Dani’s thoughts on life in Brighton 24 Comedy
8 Alison‘s not preggers yet;
Comedy theft is no joke
Will tries to touch a spider
24 Art
9 CelebCity. Sussex Eurovision
Aya Fukami at Permanent Gallery
dreams bite the dust
10 Bare Cheek. Will planting trees offset your holidays? Plus, Astral Angi
11 Fay Weldon on God and Brighton
★ latest news 12–14 12 Headlines, Mary Mears and Phil Mills 14 Sport. What’s in store for the Seagulls?
★ latest lifestyle 15–18
25 Kids and events Question Time in Crawley and woodcraft lessons for families
25 Books Learn how to write and get published
26 Music of Montreal, Lily Allen and Beachdown Brighton Latest Download Chart
TOP
23
40
29 Club and music listings The year’s already picking up
15 Food. Andrew’s feeling spicy 16 Hotlist. Where to dine out this week 18 Health. Zara on looking out for number one – mind, body and soul
30 Gay Queer writing and 4 Poofs
32 Television Dani on Half Ton Son, the show about a man ten times her weight and seven days of TV listings
26 06 01273
30
818150
Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith
Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Business Director Angi Mariani
Editor Rachel Pegg
Creative Director Andrew Kay
Assistant Editor Zara Baker
Production Director Fiona McTernan
Music Editor Jeff Hemmings
Finance Manager Sharon Caple
Chief Sub Editor Alison Swann
Production Manager Neil Ive
Listings Editor Nick Aldwinckle
Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Staff Writers Will Harris Seann Walsh Dani Winch Sub Editors Joe Curtin Patrick O‘Donnell Design Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer
Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Marie Viviani Advertising Sales Sophie Longhurst Administration Claire Peerless
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Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH
Rachel Pegg Latest 7 Editor latest 7 3
004_LS407_jobads
1/14/09
4:32 PM
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latest
jobs
Call Marie on 01273 818150 ext 102
brices brices
Sales Person required for busy advertising dept
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Latest Homes Ltd cover a variety of titles
SALES AND LETTINGS ADMINISTRATOR
Be a part of our creative team and work in a fastpaced environment, managing existing accounts and developing new client contacts.
Exciting, challenging and varied position working alongside the director in this busy city centre office. Role involves management of the sales/lettings database, accounts and maintenance systems, sales team support and everyday office duties. Strong administration skills, attention to detail and good level of numeracy required along with a confident and outgoing attitude with excellent customer service skills. Full driving licence required.
Send CV and hand written covering letter to: Louise Brice, 30c Western Road, Hove, East Sussex BN3 1AF or email: louise@brices.co.uk
4 latest jobs
If you can answer yes to the following, then you could be who we are looking for to join our successful team. • Energetic & enthusiastic approach • Highly motivated with the ability to work as part of the team and on your own initiative • Organised and able to work to deadlines • Excellent customer service skills Apply by emailing your CV to lynne@thelatest.co.uk or call 01273 818150 ext 112 for an informal chat.
hundreds of jobs every week
005_LS407_Seann
1/15/09
4:36 PM
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See more at thelatest.co.uk
Seann’s world Comedian Seann Walsh loves his sleep, so the real world really isn’t for him
Perchance to dream I woke up at three in the afternoon today. I then underwent my daily waking ritual of going back to sleep for an hour. After that I was quite safely awake, and had probably drained away most of the sleep I had in me, but I thought it best to lie down for half an hour, just to be sure. It was during this half-hour that I began to query my compatibility with what is commonly known as The Real World. My body clock is not tuned to Greenwich Mean Time. This is a significant weakness in most real-world affairs, which tend to begin at about 9am. I don’t see 9am at all, unless it’s been a really heavy night, and even then I’m normally asleep by that point. In Chicago, they’re six hours behind us. I’m so out of sync with the real world that, if I teleported to Chicago in the middle of the night, I would still be late waking up for the working day. My current sleep pattern would be more suited to Alaska, where I'd wake up with time to have breakfast and then walk to work, incorporating a detour to punch Sarah Palin on the way.
they say it, you could easily substitute the phrase ‘the real world’ with something truly awful like hell, or Glasgow. Of course, they’re right in a sense. This so-called ‘real world’ is often a hellish place. In winter, it's dark when you wake up. No benevolent system makes people wake up in the dark. Working in a call centre is a grim existence, a daily funeral of the spirits. It’s one of those jobs where everyone is there because they have to be, a job that you have to force yourself to tolerate, spending hour after hour making call after call to person after person, trying to sell them something that they don’t want to buy and you don’t want to sell. Every free moment is a blessing. I never went to the toilet on a break. I’d save that luxury for company time, in a desperate attempt to wring out an extra moment away from the phones. I was so determined not to do my job that I’d even wash my hands afterwards. After two weeks of employment I quit without saying goodbye. I love sleep too much to have it interrupted by reality. Currently I’m where I belong, with a backwards sleep pattern, an Australian body clock. It’s hard to reset. I don’t want to teleport to Alaska. I’d rather teleport to Beijing: it’s bedtime in China. Sleep is the best part of the day. It's just a shame we can’t be awake to see it.
“From the manner in which people say it, you could easily substitute the phrase ‘the real world’ with something truly awful like hell, or Glasgow“ I have worked before. This time last year, I was working nine to five in a call centre. I had to be out of bed by 8am. It was often so cold in the house that the first thing I wanted to do on leaving my bed was to set myself on fire. Then I had to get dressed, walk in, and do things I didn’t want to do. I’d have a break, and then I’d have to go back in. And then, when it was all over, all I wanted to do was go to bed. That’s not living. But whenever someone like me – a day-dreaming, nocturnal misfit – complains about this, regular, proper people have the same response every time. They assume a demonic countenance, and say, with sadistic, malicious glee, “Welcome to the real world!” It’s an ominous saying, a promise of doom. For the manner in which
Comments? Get in touch: letters@thelatest.co.uk
latestcrossword Cryptic 177 ACROSS 1 Opponent from Vera’s yard (9) 8 Figure a way to show anger (4) 9 Uncivilised person in association with female (9) 11 The way into headquarters of tyrant (6) 13 Man’s favourite monarch (5) 15 A short lady's man (4) 16 Essential article lost in Latvian revolution (5) 17 It’s against the law to start a war (5) 18 Abandon the trench (5) 19 Players' pets in confusion (4) 20 Take away a piece of waste aluminium (5) 22 Female fly (6) 25 One who abducts sleeping child? (9) 26 The age of man gets to the end (4) 27 One who plays in violent storm in Spain – not I (9)
solutions on page 30
Quick 177 DOWN 2 Father has a point – it’s late (4) 3 Badge of honour lost in tree (6) 4 Wait, then start the game (5) 5 Hit it to make progress (4) 6 Everlasting petal associated with Peru (9) 7 Let in air to transform a vile tent (9) 10 Don't ever get confused by courage (5) 12 Contender who’s honest about drink (9) 13 Omen I'm apt to reveal in performance (9) 14 Governors concerned with short measures (5) 17 Part of the face that shows impudence (5) 19 College site – Scout site to you and me (6) 21 He sings a number before orchestra starts up (5) 23 Walk badly but without stiffness (4) 24 Woman against time (4)
ACROSS 1 Art form (9) 8 Fortress (4) 9 Magnificent (9) 11 Place of worship (6) 13 Horizontal (5) 15 Human growth (4) 16 Pungent (5) 17 Fish group (5) 18 Container (5) 19 Boast (4) 20 Composition (5) 22 Wolf-like (6) 25 Encumber (9) 26 Implement (4) 27 Severity (9)
DOWN 2 Black bird (4) 3 Climbing aid (6) 4 Concise (5) 5 Utterly defeat (4) 6 Not permanent (9) 7 Something attached (9) 10 Within the law (5) 12 Confection (9) 13 Northern city (9) 14 Unrestrained (5) 17 Piece of rock (5) 19 Infertile (6) 21 Climbing aid (5) 23 Give out (4) 24 Employs (4)
latest 7 5
006_LS407_Diary/Comps
1/16/09
2:18 PM
Page 2
LATESTDIARY
COMPETITIONS John Hurt (Actor)
latestdiary With Tim Richardson
Michael ‘Atters’ Attree (The Chap Magazine), Linda Garland, Bob Wilson (The Willow Foundation)
Willow art The Willow Foundation teamed up Julie-Anne with respected British artist, JulieGilburt (Artist), Jon Gilburt Anne Gilburt to hold this colourful and imaginative art exhibition guaranteed to inspire debate over the festive season at the SW1 Gallery in London. The event benefited the Willow Foundation, a national charity that provides special days for seriously ill 16 to 40-year-olds. The unique artworks were created by top celebrities and artists from Sir Richard Attenborough and David Bellamy to Ricky Hatton and Eric Idle. Natasha Kaplinsky, John Hurt, Dara O’Briain and Elizabeth Emanuel along with special day recipients and members of the public attended an excellent and buzzing evening champagne reception, where they were able to see the 300 canvases on display. Each of the 300 small canvases (20cm x 20cm) were drawn by personalities from the worlds of sport, design, art, music and entertainment. Some demonstrated the individual’s artistic flair, others their personality or alter ego and the remaining a mix of interests, ideas or lateral thinking. The online auction of the 300 individual canvases has raised more than £40,000 for the Willow Foundation, thanks to the generosity of all the celebrities and artists who took part.
IN IT TO WIN IT Fantastic prizes up for grabs Johnny Thunders Bootlegging the Bootleggers If you managed to catch Nina Antonia at the Latest MusicBar last week, giving her insight into the late Johnny Thunders, chances are you’re intrigued to find out more about the former New York Doll. The late Johnny Thunders, a U.S punk legend, compiled this album of his favourite live tapes. Originally released in 1990, the album has been remastered. We have two copies of the CD to give away. To be in with a chance of winning, tell us: What year did Johnny Thunders leave the New York Dolls to front his own band Johnny Thunders and the Heartbreakers? a. 1965 b.1975 c.1985 See right for entry details.
6 latest 7
to hear
Carol Cleveland (Actress)
Scott Ewing, Dennis the Menace, Placid Gonzales
Dara O’Briain (Comedian)
Danny John-Jules (Actor)
Looking For Jake and Other Stories China Miéville’s novella TheTain is featured in this stunning book, along with 13 short stories including Looking For Jake. We have four copies of this fabulous book to give away courtesy of Pan Macmillan and Brighton’s monthly live literary event Tight Lip, offered in anticipation of China Mievillé’s forthcoming novel The City and The City, scheduled for release in May. China Miéville is an extraordinary British writer whose genre-busting fiction has captured the fantasy and mainstream literary world with its imaginative power. Visionary cityscapes and urban paranoia, ghosts, monsters to read and impossible diseases feature in this collection of tales. Several of the stories are published here for the first time plus one in comic-strip form. To be in with a chance of winning, tell us: What is the name of China Mievillé’s new title due out in May? a. The Town and the Town b. The Country and the Country c. The City and the City See below for entry details.
To win, email: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the prize you wish to win in the subject box. Leave your answer to the question in the body of the email. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: Monday 2 February
007_LS407_Dani
1/16/09
2:45 PM
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See more at thelatest.co.uk
Dani’s diary Dani Winch on Brighton’s buses and the use of excessive plastic packaging
Welcome to my world Welcome to my new and slightly more (if possible) opinionated page. To start I want to just clarify what an opinion is: 1 A belief that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty. 2 A personal view, attitude or appraisal. I have obtained this explanation of the term from Dictionary.com because I imagine many people will have a problem with something or everything I write and I want everyone to be aware that I understand what ‘opinion‘ means. If any of you out there have something you want to grumble about mail me on dani@thelatest.co.uk.
whatever that bus has written on it. Such gems as: ‘We’ll be shopping while you’re stuck in traffic’. The people who thought of these slogans have clearly never travelled on the bus in Brighton, because – had that phrase actually been true – they would have realised that if you are fortunate enough to have a car or the option to travel in a car, you would choose that comfort over the bus. The car may occasionally get stuck in traffic, but it is a whole lot more reliable than the bus. I fully understand that all traffic is subject to delays, but the majority of the time you can get to a bus stop and wait for anything up to 30 minutes for a bus when three of the same have whizzed past you in other direction. Where do they go? If your bus is early there is no point
Bus off Why do you have to pay more for the bus if you get on before 9am? Other than the fact that the bus company makes more money from those getting the bus in the morning to go to work – due to the sheer amount of people using the service. From a business point of view this is a very smart move, but I find it odd when coupled with the advertising the buses have plastered all over themselves – blowing up pictures of Brighton and Hove people and sticking them to the side of the buses along with a cheesy quote about why they love using the bus. Seeing the pictures of the people we pass in the street everyday praising the buses enough to have there face blown up and stuck on it should make us feel proud of our community bus service. But this is no country village and the buses serve no community. Personally, I feel like Brighton and Hove buses are trying to trick us into thinking they have our best intentions at heart when in
Dump the packing
“Cars may occasionally get stuck in traffic, but it is a lot more reliable than the bus“ fact they are trying every trick in the book to get us to pay the rising fares to travel in mild discomfort. If you chose to drive within the city, chances are you will at some point become stuck behind a bus and end up reading
in running for it because the chances are the driver won’t wait. Many won’t let you on if they are still at the curb but have simply closed the doors. All is not lost. There is a ray of light in the shape of a Big Lemon bus. Fair fares and friendly service. The buses may not be the most tidy or together but I would rather pay for that and use an environmentally friendly service (for those who don’t know, the buses run on used cooking oil) as opposed to paying through the nose for something that is not at all what it is hyped up to be.
When in a supermarket do we really need to put our loose vegetables into a plastic bag? Do we need the meat that is already in a plastic sleeve with a cardboard cover put into yet another plastic bag? I don’t think we do. The only reason anyone can give me for putting their veg into a bag before putting in on the conveyer belt is because it is cleaner. Wash your veg! Reducing packaging would be one of the simplest ways to reduce the amount of waste we dump every day. I would try and encourage you to leave the packaging in the store to make a stand. Perhaps just having an awareness of what we pick up each day might make a difference. I hope so as it seems no other organisation is going to take any real action.
Comments? Get in touch: letters@thelatest.co.uk Dine for £4.95
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008_LS407_will/alison
1/16/09
1:43 PM
Page 2
CITYSPEAKS
Swanning around
Man on a mission
Alison Swann is wondering if her friends are all going to go forth and multiply
Will Harris is starting to feel the cold hand of regret as reality bites
I got a text from my friend Ellie over Christmas: Happy Christmas Alison! We’re all here getting merry! Nothing weird about that except, I used to be her nanny and I still have to remind myself that it is fine for her to drink and be, er... a grownup. She is now romping through university in Bristol, taller than me, and going to Washington for political forays with her fellow students – she always was a smart kid. Her younger sister Annie is actually at Sussex University and we bump into each other from time to time. She still introduces me as her old nanny and I point out very quickly how incredibly young I was at the time and then delight and embarrass with tales of Annie’s epic potty training moments. I became quite efficient with a hose on said child one summer, she thought it was a game. I called it ‘getting that child clean of unmentionable brown stuff before her mother walks in the door‘. I enjoyed being a nanny, though I got hugely fat as I became a hoover for all the food the girls deigned not to eat.
“I’m just wondering if my friend’s pregnancy is going to kick off a Mexican wave of pregnancy“ After that I went to France and for two years worked as a children’s courier on a holiday campsite. I wasn’t smuggling children, although some of the parents who were dumping their kids at my kid’s club while they sauntered off for two weeks by the pool might have hoped I would. So kids featured pretty heavily in my early career and I guess I would have assumed that by now I would be marshalling up a brood of my own. But this hasn’t happened and it is something I have in common with the majority of my friends. Only one has a child and he had her before I knew him. I do know people with babies, but they faded away into the distance as that blooming thing happened and our lives went off in different directions. Mine was travelling up and down the country or generally gadding about, and theirs was to the maternity ward. It must be one of those unintentional intentional things to reach the age of 38 and have so few of the little bambinos around when it comes to social gatherings. This has been quite deliberate on the part of my friends, they aren’t baby seekers wanting to go forth and multiply. All steps in this direction have been swiftly averted and normal business resumed. That was up until recently, when one of my closest friends announced she is with child and will be joining the many people in Brighton with babies. Brighton is full of the little people and it seems like kids have a fairly positive existence here. They don’t seem to demonstrate the need to wield huge lengths of lead piping (Glasgow), walk around with one trouser leg up while juggling with knives (Hackney) or develop an incestuous relationship with their horse (Kent). I’m just wondering and a little worried who might be next and if said friend’s pregnancy is going to kick off a Mexican wave of pregnancy among my friends and we will soon be comparing the cost of bottle feeds and bragging about having had one hour’s sleep. Do I want one? Maybe, maybe not. It’s always something that I have thought might or would happen one day, rather like, having a serious life and being a well behaved responsible member of society. I can see I am edging in that direction and I am liking the idea, a bit. But not enough to give up on the freedoms I have in my life right now. I suspect this will be the case for a while, but maybe not forever; I know how things can change on their axis in a flip of a coin. Meanwhile, the little boy that is going to be born in April (that we have all decided to call Forest, even if his mum doesn’t go with it at the final hurdle, he will forever be Forest) will have a super cool auntie. Just as long as I don’t have to get my hose out again in a few years. 8 latest 7
It seemed like a good idea at the time. Over the course of a year I would attempt thirty challenges, each successive brush with the unknown furthering my life skills until I’d emerge into 2010 as some sort of spiritually enlightened supreme being, on horseback, speaking fluent Spanish and strumming nonchalantly on a banjo. Unfortunately, what seemed like a fantastic idea when drunk on New Year’s Eve, while my so-called friends yelled out increasingly sadistic suggestions for my thirty-point manifesto (“Go without sleep for a week!” “No! Jump off a cliff!”), is beginning to lose its shine as I scrabble around the frozen undergrowth of our back garden desperately searching for a spider to harass [Number five – Touch a spider (not by accident)]. The problem, I’ve quickly discovered, with trying new things is that, by your late twenties, anything you’ve not yet done is either a) impossible to set up in less than a week, or b) vaguely sickening.
“Suddenly, some living thing comes crashing through the foliage nearby, sending both of us skittering up onto the patio furniture” As, shivering I peer under leaves and inside broken plant pots, having settled at short notice for the vaguely sickening option of facing my lifelong fear of arachnids, it begins to dawn on me just how high a mountain I’ve built for myself to climb, higher even than the very real one I’ve to scale for Number 21. Ride a horse? Go on a protest march? All these activities require meticulous planning and coordination, but I’m too lazy to run a bath, let alone a marathon. Disconsolately I poke at a dead woodlouse, wondering if I can somehow use it as bait. “Dude, what are you doing?” It’s my flatmate Nadia, resplendent in the hot pink dressing gown she got for Christmas. The dressing gown says ‘Fabulous!’ on the back in diamantes, which tells you everything you need to know about Nadia. “Looking for spiders,” I mutter, before flicking the woodlouse into the shrubbery. “Do you think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew with this thirty challenges thing?” “I don’t know about that but I do know that in January most spiders will be either dead or hibernating. Then the baby spiders hatch in the spring. I have two little brothers,” she adds as an explanation. Amazing. In less than a minute this vision in pink has saved me a whole morning of wasted effort out in the cold. Slowly an idea dawns on me. Of course it seems a good idea at the time. “Let me get this straight,” says Nadia, once I’ve explained everything to her. “You want me to be your coach?” I nod. “You’ll have to find me a horse at some stage, but other than that it’s easy enough.” “Can I make you run up a flight of steps while an 80s power ballad plays in the background?” Suddenly, as if in objection to our exciting new accord, some living thing comes crashing through the foliage nearby, sending both of us skittering up onto the patio furniture. It’s only when Nadia’s screams have died away that I attempt to speak. “It’s going to be the blind leading the blind, isn’t it?” I ask my coach, who is hanging wide-eyed for support off the garden umbrella. “I think it was a rat,” she replies. “Can you carry me inside?”
For comments and chit chat email letters@thelatest.co.uk
009_LS407_celebcity
1/14/09
12:27 PM
Page 1
AROUNDTOWN
sponsored by
Celebcity with Jo Brooks
All rise Jordan’s court case is dismissed; Damien Flood bows out of Eurovision and stars slip up on the ice
Torville and Dean
Dismissed Model Katie Price hit the headlines again last week – this time on a speeding charge. The 30-year-old had been charged with breaking a 30mph speed limit in central Brighton, on 5 March 2008. The mother of three, who was living in Ockley, Surrey at the time, was also charged with failing to supply information about the driver before the cut-off date of 9 April 2008. The trial at Brighton Magistrates’ Court however failed to happen as the CPS withdrew the charges and Katie was formally acquitted and the case dismissed. This came as a huge disappointment to the legions of paparazzi who turned up to face freezing conditions outside the court!
Take a bow Shoreham-based singer and musician, Damien Flood bowed out on the first live show to find the UK entry for this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. Damien, 32 appeared on last Saturday’s BBC1 show – Your Country Needs You!, singing the Michael Bolton classic ‘How I am Supposed To Live Without You,’ but was voted off by the show’s head judge, Andrew Lloyd Webber. Five acts remain as they battle it out each week to represent the UK. Damien Flood
Robin Cousins
Local ice over Dancing On Ice has once again hit our screens and judging by the ratings – we Brits absolutely love it! Not short of Sussex based celebrities – judges Robin Cousins and Nicky Slater both live in Brighton, ice legend and mentor Jayne Torville plus glamorous mum to be presenter Holly Willoughby also hail from Heathfield and Burgess Hill respectively. My five-year-old son Luca is already doing shaking impressions of actor Todd Carty and undercover journalist Donal Macintyre! With 13 celebrities this year the competition is tougher and there are bound to be a few falls and stumbles – let’s face it, that is why we watch it! If you want to catch some action on the ice nearer to home – then head along to the Brighton Centre to watch the brand new Holiday on Ice offering. Choreographed by Dancing On Ice and indeed Olympic medallist Robin Cousins and Anthony Van Laast who also laid down the moves for the movie Mamma Mia – not a bad pedigree. Mystery is at the Brighton Centre daily until 1 February. For tickets call 0844 8471515.
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com
10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of March 2009 excluding Valentines Day, Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers
To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk
latest 7 9
010_LS407_cheeky/stars
1/14/09
3:21 PM
Page 2
ONLY JOKING!
See more at thelatest.co.uk
Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
Spotted: with your dad Enjoying a meal in an East Street eatery – Vernon Kay. Or, as I call him, Vermin Kay. Strolling along the pier, with wife and kids in tow, none other than – Jonathan Ross. I wouldn’t pay him in dry leaves. Dry bloody leaves! Breakfasting surrounded by minders at The Grand – Kanye West. Whoever that is. Couldn’t hold a tune in a bloody bucket. I’ll tell you who could sing: Colin Blunstone. Now there was a voice. “I realise that I’ve been, in your eyes, some kind of fool…” Great stuff. They don’t bloody make them like that anymore. Chatting with colleagues outside Blanch House – Alistair bloody Darling. Pillock. I tell you, if his brains were dynamite he wouldn’t have enough fire power to blow his bloody hat off. Enjoying a quiet, post-show drink with friends and fans – Harry Hill. He’s not funny. If he’s funny then I’m a bloody Dutchman. If he’s regarded as some sort of benchmark of humour then there is something seriously wrong with this bloody world. Funny? About as funny as a bad leg, that’s what he is. Prat.
In & Out IN
OUT
• The Youth Opportunity Programme
• The Youth Training Scheme
• Armadillo wine
• Nightmare Abbey
• Great, hairy Celts
• Runaway ambulance trolleys
• Sober reflection
• The Wild Man of Borneo
• Access – Your Flexible Friend
• FatWallet
Astral Angi
★Finding truth in the stars★
This week Astral talks health and efficiency
Five more things to do in Brighton before you die 1 From Old Steine, walk through Poole Valley along the seafront past the Old Ship Hotel and up Ship Street to reach Duke's Lane so as to avoid that Italian Big Issue seller who hangs around East Street. 2 Order a Martini in The Railway Bell. 3 Catch the 37 bus and ponder whether the driver actually knows where he is going or is just making it up as he goes along. 4 To coincide with one of their hourly tours, stage (with the help of a couple of friends, state-of-the-art gadgetry and days of meticulous planning) a convincingly gruesome murder in one of the fields neighbouring Foredown Tower to give the old bloke who works the camera obscura there a heart attack. 5 Try to pay for a meal at the Market Diner with chocolate coins.
Ecomania! Bare Cheek’s expert on all matters green, Samantha Greene, advises you on all your eco worries and woes Dear Samantha, Every year my family and I fly to California for our holidays. In an attempt to redress the ecological balance we have arranged to have trees, specially chosen to take in the maximum amount of carbon dioxide from the atmosphere, and endorsed by Bill Oddie, planted in the UK. Are we doing enough to offset our carbon footprint or should we be doing more? Steve, Seven Dials
about 25 years you and Bill Oddie will be standing in a crude shelter from the fatal, baking heat and poisonous acid rain, beating each other about the head with blunt lumps of metal in a desperate fight to the death over a dead rat. Hope this has been of help. Samantha
Dear Steve, If you'll forgive me, you’re making the classic beginner’s mistake here – that of failing to realise that we’re all effing doomed. Plant as many trees as you wish. Plant them up your rectum if you so desire. It won’t alter the fact that in
Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!
BARDSLEY’S
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)
CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)
LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)
CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19).
The cold weather of early January is not to the liking of Ariens who far prefer it hot and steamy. Ward off winter blues with plenty of vitamin C and whisky.
For Cancer the answer is vigilance. Keep checking for anything untoward in your personal life as well as your physical wellbeing and leave nothing to chance.
Balanced Libra needs to keep a balance in all things physical and especially a diet. Remember that a double berry muffin is a not a valid part of your five-a-day campaign.
Capricorn is in denial. The truth is there to see bold as brass but will you accept it? No you will not. It's time to start facing up to reality no matter how much it stings.
TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)
LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)
SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)
AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)
No amount of vitamin supplements will keep Taureans fighting fit, no it's meat, meat and more meat here, even if you are vegetarian. Tofu will simply not do the trick.
Leo might feel like a lion but really Leo is a kitten and kittens just love to be pampered. The poorly Leo needs lots of TLC, tinned tomato soup and fish finger sandwiches.
Scorpio is never prepared to admit defeat and say that they are unwell. But you are Scorpio, you are sick, sick, sick and we all know that and always have.
Artsy fartsy Aquarians think that all is curable with echinacea and chanting. Think again. For some things the only answer is abstinence, curb your excesses and grow up.
GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)
VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)
SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)
PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)
For Gemini the answer is snuggling up. Find your soul mate, strip off and go for it. If you have no soul mate then go for it with the nearest available body, it could be fun.
Virgo needs to remain aware that not every hot flush markets the onset of the menopause. It could simply mean that the central heating thermostat needs some adjustment.
The Sagi story is the age old one of continence. The leaky sign must remember to 'go' before leaving the house or live to regret it. Never embark on a journey without tissues.
Piscean's health can be assured with cod liver oil, but an easier route is a plate of grilled fish down at Bardsley's. Fried or steamed it will certainly warm the cockles of your heart.
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To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk
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1/15/09
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INTERVIEW Pic: Jonathan Docker-Drysdale
time when it was a very male-dominated world (and) there weren’t really novels for women. The world was seen from such a male perspective you realised that there was so much to be said that hadn’t been said. You started off in advertising which must have been a very male-dominated world and very different to novel writing? Well, yes, and then you realise you’re using the same skills – using words to sell ideas. But you get more street cred for writing novels. Throughout those forty years you’ve constantly surprised, even enraged people sometimes. Do you enjoy that? You don’t set out to enrage people, they get enraged by perfectly obvious things; perfectly obvious to me… Everyone’s got their own unique perspective Well, yes they have, and I often tend to get there early: I remember writing “pity the poor men”, which made people furious but five years later they were all saying it. You just say what’s obvious to you, which might not be so obvious to other people. It’s all there to be seen. More recently (in 2000) many people were shocked by your conversion to the C of E I don’t understand why people were surprised, I just like singing hymns, and I think that hour a week provides a kind of framework which is a very valuable thing, better than shopping! I expect people will start coming back to church now that they can‘t afford to go to the shops.
Faith in Fay Andy Morton chats with Fay Weldon, the grand dame of British literature with a successful writing career spanning four decades When I call Fay Weldon at the allotted time on a brisk January morning, the call goes straight to answer phone. Frustratingly, there’s no personal message, and for a heart-stopping moment, I wonder if I’ve called the right number. As something of a fan of her writing, I’m keen to get the job done right, and understandably pleased when she calls me right back – phew! Weldon’s had heart-stopping moments of her own, literally – in 2005 she went into cardiac arrest, following an allergy and describes the subsequent ‘near death experience’ in What Makes Women Happy, a rare departure into non-fiction. Early stints in advertising and screenwriting aside, she’s best known as a prolific novelist who explores the modern female condition through finelyjudged satires, most-famously The Life and Loves of a She-Devil. Her penetrating eye and propensity for ’articulating it like it is’ have been apt to raise the hackles of conservatives and feminists alike, but during our conversation she seems
“I expect people will start coming back to church now that they can’t afford to shop” far from willfully controversial – just comfortable with her singular view of the world, and her position of undisputed grand dame of popular British literature. Forty-one years is a long time to have maintained a successful writing career. How have you kept going? You just go on writing… you just write the end (of one novel) and you start on the next one. I remember finishing the first one at a
Atheism seems to be the thing now, given the popularity of Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, etc… But it’s just another religion – atheists are so firm in their beliefs, and they’re depressing, believing there’s no point in anything and it’s all an accident. I mean, putting ‘there’s probably no God’ on the side of a bus – perhaps it’s true, I don’t know – but you might as well write ‘perhaps there is a God’ or ‘isn’t it wonderful to be here?’ I’m perfectly happy to debate, they might even convert me, I don’t mind. I still prefer God to the church of shopping. It’s cheaper to start with. These days there’s a less rigid distinction between popular and literary fiction and I think you’re one of the writers that’s bridged that gap. Is that deliberate? Nothing’s deliberate, you just write what you have to write. The market’s changed – it’s all become much more commercialised – but the standard of writing is much better these days, people are very much better at writing. It all comes down to their view of the world; what they have to say. You’ve been writing about the lives of women for forty years now. What’s changed there? They’re much less neurotic than they were. Women have to work much harder than men, they always have. It’s even harder now that they have to ‘work’ too and children still change everything, whether you’re working or not, whether you’re married or not. Speaking of children, one of your progeny lives round our way, doesn’t he? Yes, he’s in a Brighton band called Waxed Apple. Brighton’s lovely; I do like it. I tell everyone I know who’s under forty to move there. Fay Weldon will be a special guest at The Space, Brighton’s unique monthly arts and media event – Latest MusicBar, Tuesday 3 February, 7pm for 7:30pm start, £5/£3 www.thespace.me.uk latest 7 11
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1/16/09
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LATESTNEWS
news summary
7 days of headlines
An ITN reporter who ended up living on the streets has told his story in an autobiography. Ed Mitchell: From Headlines to Hard Times is published by John Blake. Ed made it into the news when he was discovered in 2007 homeless in Brighton and Hove. It emerged he had lost his wife and family due to alcoholism. He is now more than a year into his recovery. Brighton and Hove City Council booked the closure of Madeira Drive on 4 and 5 September, sparking rumours that Fat Boy Slim would hold his fifth Big Beach Boutique then. Norman Cook has yet to confirm.
Channel surfing A man whose father was diagnosed with motor neurone disease is to kite surf across the Channel to raise money for the charity that is helping him. Jamie Breakwell, 37, from Brighton, and four friends will attempt the journey in late April or May, when the weather and tides are suitable. Money raised will go to the Motor Neurone Disease Association. The illness leads to a weakness and wasting of muscles, causing increased loss of mobility and difficulty with speech, swallowing and breathing. Jamie’s father Tony, who lives in Coventry, was diagnosed last year. Jamie, who was taught to windsurf by his father when he
was 11, said: “I wanted to do something that would provide a challenge and involve a group of my friends. As we are all keen kite surfers, it made sense to take on the Channel crossing. “It represents a great challenge with many dangers. We are crossing the busiest shipping channel in the world. There are many elements to take into account, such as weather, equipment, failure and, of course, fatigue.“ Jamie’s mum and dad, Jill and Tony, have offered to pay for the rescue boat and admin fees so all the money raised will go straight to the charity. Find out more at www.crosschannelkitesurf.co.uk or learn about the Motor Neurone Disease Assocation www.mndassociation.org
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NEWS
East Sussex Fire and Rescue Service announced it is planning to relocate Preston Circus Fire Station. The main Brighton site will be put up for sale. A new location has not been agreed. Squatters left Fife House in Lewes Crescent. The group had moved into one of Brighton’s finest residences in December. They did not damage the home.
Get tested films Young people have the chance to win £2,000 by making a short film about getting regularly tested for HIV and sexually transmitted infections. Glen Wallace, who plays HIV positive Malachy Fisher in Hollyoaks, is fronting the Let’s Get Tested competition. Open to 15 to 25-year-olds, the contest is organised by sexual health and HIV charity Terrence Higgins Trust (THT), in partnership with Abbott. The winner will get £2,000 and the chance to work with a leading British director or producer to make their film professionally. Gareth Davies from THT said: “Young people represent 12 percent of the population but account for nearly half of STIs diagnosed in GUM clinics in 2007.“ www.letsgettested.org.uk
Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on a sustainable city Before Christmas I urged residents to back Brighton and Hove businesses and ‘Buy Local’. Figures from the Brighton and Hove Business Forum show that thousands responded by shopping locally and city centre visitors were up 10 percent over Christmas week. Feedback suggests that many of the 70,000 extra visitors were encouraged by the council’s suspension of all city centre roadworks over the Christmas period, allowing people to get in and shop with minimal fuss. Supporting city jobs and businesses is vital for the council – so we’ll keep encouraging people to ‘Buy Local’ and look to build on visitor numbers by continuing to trumpet tourism (visit www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/buylocal for details!). A special culture cabinet meeting is being held to approve 50 events in parks, open spaces and on Madeira Drive. The agenda contains many new things including a pre-Pride week of cabaret in Preston Park, a new chillout day at Loop digital arts and music festival and a fresh Victoria Gardens home for the Greenwave eco-festival. Bringing new attractions to city is wonderful, but we also must celebrate the city’s cultural heritage, so yesterday the council began essential restoration work on the Royal Pavilion. It’s a shame the improvement work will see this jewel closed until 30 January but it guarantees the enjoyment of residents and visitors well into the future. No one should be short of entertainment while improvements happen, because VisitBrighton.com is promoting ’52 Reasons to Visit’ our city. It’s
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Pride festival in George Street, Kemp Town
promoting unique attractions every week of the year to maintain the stream of visitors that our economy thrives on. Lately, some have let sustainability issues slip down the agenda because of understandable concerns about recession. For me, sustainability remains a top priority: I want to protect the environment while supporting the economy. This week we’re reviewing independent ‘sustainable development’ charity Forum for the Future’s report which rates our city as one of Britain’s most environmentally-friendly. We’re in top-spot for ‘quality of life’ and our preparedness for an ecofuture. The authors say our top rankings reflect the council’s commitment to climate change preparation, green city spaces, local sustainable businesses and high recycling rates. Our success is wonderful, but I’m not being complacent. So we’re building on our eco-credentials by agreeing a code of practice to ensure the council purchases supplies and services in an environmentally responsible way, while still offering taxpayers value for money. The code commits us to using sustainable local suppliers wherever possible – meaning the council will be protecting our local environment and stimulating the city economy at the same time.
If you would like to comment on these stories please email news@thelatest.co.uk
Pic: britainonview/ brightononview
Right at your door
013_LS407_newsphil
1/15/09
9:13 AM
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LATESTNEWS Phil Mills finds a welcome boost to the city’s economy, while TV presenter Dominic Littlewood faces the local law
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Gold mine This year marks the twenty-fifth anniversary of the Brighton IRA bombing and once again the city is playing host to a political party conference that brings armed police to the streets and disruption to city life. Ever since the IRA murdered five people and injured 30 at the Grand Hotel during the 1984 Tory Party conference there have been calls by a few to ban them from the city to protect residents. But the critics are noticeably quieter this year as Brighton welcomes Gordon Brown’s Labour Party in September. One reason is the recession. The estimated 20,000 visitors to the conference are expected to pump £10 million into the local economy, through hotels, restaurants, businesses and services. And with fears of redundancies hanging over many local jobs, every penny counts.
“20,000 visitors to the conference are expected to pump ten million pounds into the local economy” Council leader Mary Mears said: “We welcome all party conferences to the city because of the benefits they bring to residents and businesses in these difficult economic times. “They boost the local economy and reduce crime and anti-social behaviour because of the extra numbers of police on the streets.” There will be the usual traffic delays along the seafront and adjoining streets, and there will be pedestrian restrictions and police stop-checks
around the Brighton Centre site but Councillor Mears said plans had been drawn up to ensure it will be “business as usual.” She said Operation Otter involved the police, council and other bodies working together for the event, between 27 September and 1 October. “The event is a major boost for businesses and is regarded as a mainstay event for the local visitor industry which sustains 13,000 jobs.” Once again a secure island site will be formed around the main conference buildings – the Brighton Centre, the Grand and Metropole Hotels and Russell Road multi-storey car park behind. Some surrounding roads will be subject to security checks with certain residents’ and business vehicles requiring passes. Newsletters will be produced in the run-up to the event telling nearby residents all they need to know. The nerve centre for the conference is the Brighton Centre. A £400 million two-year scheme to redevelop the site has been delayed until 2012 because of the economic downturn. Opened by the then Prime Minister Jim Callaghan in 1977, the centre was first scheduled for the bulldozers last year. Tony Mernagh, executive director of Brighton and Hove Economic Partnership, said it was a tribute to the city that political parties continued coming to Brighton even though the centre is in need of a rebuild. “It shows that what this city has to offer far outweighs the problems with the centre – but that can’t last for ever. “With ever increasing competition from other places we have got to refurbish – no, rebuild – the Brighton Centre as soon as possible. “There were critics who wanted to ban political parties after the bombing but the benefits conferences bring to this city can’t be over estimated. “The real value is the publicity the city receives on the TV and in newspapers every day for a week. “You couldn’t buy that level of advertising.”
Strictly speaking TV presenter and last year’s Strictly Come Dancing contestant Dominic Littlewood waltzed his way into the affections of officers during a visit to Brighton police station. He was at the John Street headquarters filming for BBC’s One Show about stolen property and how police go about trying to reunite stolen items with rightful owners through the Bumblebee auction website.
He’s pictured with PC Georgie Edge (left) and Special Constable Sabrina Howlett. One woman officer said: “Dom always appears as a really nice guy whenever you see him on TV and we found him just the same in the flesh, as it were. “He’s really down to earth and friendly – all us girls thought he was gorgeous.”
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014_LS407_letters/sport
1/16/09
1:00 PM
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LATEST LETTERS&SPORT
Letters
Send your comments to letters@thelatest.co.uk
Tacky signs In Building Opinions last week (issue 406), Robert Stuart Nemeth talked of the battle between residents at Wykeham Terrace, Dyke Road and Brighton and Hove City Council, after the council replaced an historic street sign with “tacky plastic equivalent”. A reader writes... Dear Robert, I was glad that you mentioned the horrible plastic signs in your piece. These are popping up everywhere when in fact the metal signs are in good condition. And the plastic ones crack and buckle. Let alone the cost.. Christopher Hawtree
Latest Sport Round ups and rumblings from the Latest Sports Bunker
Goal getter Latest Sport’s Peter Knight gives us a New Year briefing on the tasks at hand for the Albion Right, let’s chuck some water on this to stir ourselves out of the New Year January freeze. We’re right down there, scraping the top off the relegation zone like a dog scampering across a frozen lake that’s getting nowhere praying the ice isn’t going to crack. And if we’re going to be led out of this by Micky Adams, which looks like being the case unless Dick Knight finds an alternative, we’re going to need to discover a bit more true grit, better fitness levels and a lot more fighting spirit from everyone at the club. Wilkins achieved minor miracles with what he had but he’s gone. We all need to get over that. I’m sure Knight has had a few sleepness nights pondering the mistakes in retrospect there. Now we need to move on. Fans have pointed out on a few occasions that Adams finished eleventh in his first season here before winning the old third division title the next. But that’s history. This year it’s all down to building a renewed team to eventually take us further than Willkins did starting with beating the drop.
“There’s a chance here to boost the team’s hope with some confidence, the cup run and some goals” The January transfer window can mess lower league clubs up like a toddler waving an Etcha-sketch around – best players get pinched, loans return home and the pressure to sign someone can lead to rash errors. But there’s a chance here to boost the team’s hope with some confidence, the cup run and some goals. We’ve got some good forwards already but a new one would bring some positive excitement back to the Withdean, just like Glen Murray’s arrival this time last year. But more importantly, goals get you points which gets you away from the drop zone. So along with Chris Birchall, bringing Joel Lynch back from Nottingham to play left-back, plus giving passionate hardworking youngsters like Doug Loft, Jake Robinson and Tommy Fraser more of a run out in midfield, here’s a run down on the goalscorers we could try to get in. We could even play Forster in midfield or on the wing if needs be...
Unite against war On Tuesday 20 January at 7.30pm there will be a Trade Union Solidarity with Palestine meeting at the Brighthelm Centre, North Road, Brighton. Speakers will include Manawel Abdel Al (Palestinian Federation of Trades Unions); Salim Vally from South Africa, who is a founder member of COSATU – the South African Trade Union Federation; Katherine Nastovski, who was chair of the International Solidarity Committee of Ontario CUPE (Canadian Union of Public Employees), which is committed to boycott divestment and sanctions against Israel; and a spokesperson for the Anti-War Coalition and Palestine Solidarity Committee. At a time when a war of genocide is being waged against the Palestinians of Gaza, in the name of the ‘war against terrorism,’ Brighton and Hove people showed last week with their magnificent march of over 1,500 people that most people reject the barbaric attacks on the civil infrastructure of Gaza. Over 370 children, at the time of writing, have been killed. Prominent Israelis, including its Sephardic Chief Rabbi, are openly calling for massacres of Palestinian civilians citing the Book of Joshua. Schools, university, clinics, doctors, homes – all these are being bombed and reduced to rubble. Please come and show your solidarity. Tony Greenstein, The Crestway, Brighton
You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH 14 latest 7
Andy Bishop Latest Sport’s favourite. Banging them in for Bury in League Two, so much so that Barnsley are reported to be offering £400,000. That figure sounds like a bit of a PR trick by his agent, plus Barnsley have also had a bid of £400,000 accepted for Chesterfield’s goal-getter Jamie Ward. Bishop recently rejected a new offer from Bury and would like to move to a bigger club with a number of teams on his tail. Danny Graham An outside bet. Burnley had an offer of £250,000 turned down as Carlisle try to keep hold of at least one of their prime goal scorers from last year.
Bury’s Andy Bishop
Steve Jones The 32-year-old Burnley winger/striker could be available if Bradford don’t fancy making his loan move permanent. Maybe an unlikely, risky one. Kevin Kyle The 6’3 Coventry City striker would be another of Adams’ old aquaintances and is on loan at Hartlepool but looking to settle down somewhere. Plus, does anyone know what Doncaster’s Darren Byfield is up to at the moment? Finally, good luck to the boys against Luton tonight as they take another step closer to getting to Wembley in the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy. Let’s do this. Up the Albion!
Send us your views, news and sporting opinions to sport@thelatest.co.uk
015_LS405_food
1/14/09
12:20 PM
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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK
Thai’d up Andrew Kay gets his nose in the mortar for a crash course in Thai cooking with the Chilli Chicks A few weeks back I received an email inviting me along to a Thai cookery course. At the time I was up to my neck in ‘stuff’ and really didn’t have the time to accept. But their letter was so utterly charming and funny that I relented and accepted the offer. If I say that I am a fairly accomplished cook then I hope I am not overegging my own pudding. I certainly have some skills, I can bone and fillet fish and meat, know how to make a variety of classic sauces and I am pretty masterful when it comes to stuffing. I can even prepare a decent, if not authentic curry and have been know to create a small selection of Thai dishes, mainly from taste memory rather than from actual knowledge. I warned the girls, Bookie and Tahel, that when it comes to culinary matters, I am no slouch and so not to go easy on me. They certainly took me at my word. The class took place on a Friday evening at Tahel’s home. I arrived late afternoon and spent the next few hours with my eyes and ears open and my hands constantly occupied. We were going to make three dishes in total and in the kitchen the ingredients were all grouped in dishes ready for the off. Before long, I was peeling shallots and lemon grass, slicing galangal and garlic and dry roasting a variety of spices in a wide pan on the hob. The basis for two of the dishes were curry pastes but these we were making from raw ingredients, totally from scratch. The next stage was the pounding and grinding of the parts that were to make up the paste. Now, I would like to say that in the past I had done this in my blender, but it would be a lie. In the past I have used Thai curry pastes bought from food stores in plastic tubs. Bookie frowned, the only time the wide smile ever left her face. Tahel was less damning and admitted that she too had a pot in her refrigerator for emergencies. The grinding is a hard process but made easy by using a large red clay conical mortar and a hefty wooden pestle. I acquitted myself well and my paste was smooth and pungent, the girls looked pleased.
“Immediately she set about making a sweet dressing of shrimp paste, sugar and dried chillis” Pretty soon I was frying my paste in oil and then adding coconut milk, a little at a time. The room filled with sweet, spicy aromas. My red paste on one ring and Tahel’s green one on another. Time flew by but all the while I was learning new skills. While my peeled potatoes were dropping into the creamy chicken dish ready to make a massaman, Bookie was bringing out prawns for me to peel and degut, a job I have done many time before. Both were surprised that I liked fish sauce and shrimp paste. I use both often but Bookie could eat both straight off the spoon, a far more exotic palate than even mine. Immediately she set about making a sweet dressing of shrimp paste, sugar and dried chillis. Into this we dipped green mango. If it sounds odd then try it because it tastes amazing, really amazing. My final dish was a salad of king prawns and mango. I had to peel half the fruit and than hack slices into the flesh while it sat in the palm of my hand. Then you pare the shreds off the fruit in fine slivers. Fortunately I can wield a knife and I was stone cold sober. The julienne of mango was tossed with roasted coconut shreds, cashews, mint leaves and deep fried shallots. The prawns were marinated with garlic, pepper and oyster sauce and then grilled. Finally we stirred in a dressing of dried red chilli, salt, fried garlic, fish sauce lime juice, palm sugar and vegetable oil. It was spectacular. The Chilli Chicks offer a wide range of courses in a variety of formats. You can visit them or they will come to your home. The fun thing is that whatever dishes you prepare you take home with you, and they do the shopping in advance and the ingredients are included in the price of the class. Bookie is Thai and she is a pretty strict taskmaster, as Tahel will tell you, everything has to be done right, no cheating and no short cuts. I liked that. Too many chefs seemed obsessed with showing us how to cut corners at home. Insurance I suspect that we will never meet their
If you would like to comment on this story please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk
restaurant standards. Well, not for these two. I went home with three dishes that knocked the spots off any Thai food I have tasted in the UK. With prices starting at £35 a head – for three or four people sharing a class, to prepare two dishes and rising accordingly – it was not only an education, but a fun night that ended with a slap-up meal and I went home with more than enough food for two. You also come away with excellent printed recipes sheets for the dishes that you have prepared, which dispenses with the taking of notes. There is even a menu of dishes that you can learn to make. Apprehensive as ever I found myself utterly absorbed by these two young women and I cannot wait for Tahel to start dipping into her Israeli roots and start teaching that cuisine. I can see them doing this for serious cooks, keen amateurs, at parties, hen nights even for those who baulk at the idea of drifting up and down Preston Street in a veil and devil’s horns with an L-plate on their back and eighteen vodkas in their belly. If love Thai food and want to know how to achieve excellence in your own kitchen, then I can highly recommend the Chilli Chicks experience. For more information call 07806 481769 or 07886 902 855 or email info@chillichicks.co.uk www.chillichicks.co.uk
216 Church Road, Hove
01273 770704 01273 722216 Open Monday to Sunday 12–2.30pm and 6–11.30pm
2 Course Meal £9.95*pp Sunday to Thursday (excl. Bank Holiday)
1 Starter (any starter from our menu excluding King prawns)
1 Main Course (any dish from our menu excluding King prawns, duck and fish)
1 Rice or Naan Bread *conditions apply *offer must be mentioned when ordering food *mention this advert to claim your free glass of wine
10% DISCOUNT ON TAKEAWAY FOOD latest 7 15
016_017_LS407_hotlist
1/16/09
10:54 AM
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LATESTHOTLIST
latest hot
LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS
RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Totally traditional and family-run with all your favourites, but also an excellent blackboard of daily fish specials. They’re open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday and it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256
The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of hearty homecooked food, separate evening and lunch menus and always a selection of roasts on Sunday. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter, a central open fire roars. In summer, people soak up the late sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt. 59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com
Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant in so many ways, excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. Chef Sam runs a team of food-lovers who deliver time after time, from a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game in season and desserts that are a delight, plus a wine list full of treats without being expensive. Make the most of the terrace when the weather is warm or the private dining room for a treat. 1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555, www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk
Sam’s of Brighton A brand new restaurant on the Kemp Town restaurant scene. Situated in the famous One Paston Place site, Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a free-range poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter. 1 Paston Place, Brighton, 01273 676222 www.samsofbrighton.co.uk
CHINESE Gars Restaurant Stunningly refurbished, this old Brighton favourite has attained a new lease of life. An exciting menu with some great new
See more at thelatest.co.uk ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room and enjoy the glamour of it all. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321 www.gars.co.uk
FRENCH The Arrogant Frog Our January special offer is pay full price for one main course and get the second main course for half price! Available Monday to Thursday (excluding Special Event nights). Not as expensive as you might think! A tempting à la carte and Xpress lunch is also available all week. A ‘Plat du Jour’, at £9.45 including a drink, is the perfect way to treat yourself without breaking the bank. Children and families always welcome. 119 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721488, www.thearrogantfrog.com
Cocoa Cocoa is the cheeky new French patisserie found just down from Brighton train station on Queen’s Road. “A slice of Paris in the heart of Brighton”. All cakes, pastries, tartines and baguettes are lovingly prepared each morning on the premises by French gourmet pastry chef Julien Plumart. Front of the house is run by Jana Solfronk serving coffee, cinnamon hot chocolate or homemade lime ice tea, amongst other beverages. Intimate seating overlooking a mural of the roofs of Paris sets an atmosphere both relaxing and bohemian. For breakfast, lunch or an afternoon “tete a tete”, Cocoa is the choice for discerning Brightonians. As commented by a recent French visitor: ”Cocoa make the best croissant in Brighton, by far better than any I found in Paris.” 48 Queen’s Road, Brighton. 01273 777412
INDIAN Chaula’s “The food of India, not just Indian food.” New on the scene in Lewes and unlike other Indian restaurants, Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes: bhindi kadhi, pista chicken, lamb rajasthani, and many more, and for its distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. There is also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. They have a buffet available 11am-3pm Mon-Sat, alongside a ‘light bites’ menu. It’s definitely a hot favourite with the people of Lewes! Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is a family run Indian bistro in the famous old lanes serving stunning food. Fronted by Brighton chef Alun Sperring, who has recently returned from Jumeirah in Dubai and has spent the last twenty years learning his trade around the world. The restaurant has a relaxed and informal feel, with an emphasis on authentic Indian and Nepalese dishes using local and organic produce. The daytime menu offers Indian street food, Thalis and Masala Dosa, a selection of beautiful loose teas and cakes and sweetmeats. Dinner is a more refined affair. Feast on a Spiced Tandoor Baked Shoulder of Lamb, Moilly Seafood Pot or
Duck Egg Masala to name a few. Paired with a carefully chosen selection of Belgian and micro brewery beers to include original India pale ale. 42 Meeting House Lane, 01273 323824 www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
ITALIAN Donatello The flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. It is popular with locals in the week but at the weekend it draws an audience from London. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Fat Leo Supposedly the budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Once again, quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu which is utterly affordable with the signature setprice boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95. 16-17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135
Sevendials Restaurant
New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional home-made French cuisine either with friends or for a romantic night out. A hidden gem in the heart of Kemp Town, and very reasonable too! Daily evening menu at two courses £10.50, three courses £12.50 on weekdays; and two courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 on Friday and Saturday (ONLY LIMITED SPACES AVAILABLE DAILY). À la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6-10pm for last orders. 10-11 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 or 695415
L’Églisese L’Église is a traditional French restaurant in Hove offering classic cuisine prepared for contemporary tastes. Offering a fantastic À la Carte menu Tuesday to Sunday together with daily specials like Saucisses de Toulouse, Boeuf Bourguignon and Côte de Bœuf for two. Locally sourced produce include freshly caught fish of the day and an extensive anglo-french farmhouse cheeseboard. There are also a selection of superb French desserts on offer such as Raspberry Millefeuille and Crème Brulée. Whether enjoying our south facing sun terrace with the 2 course Express lunch menu, Tuesday-Saturday, 12-5pm at £11.95 or relaxing on a Sunday with our delicious French Sunday roast… this is true entente cordiale. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk, info@legliserestaurant.co.uk
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LATESTHOTLIST THAI Sabai The Thai word ‘sabai’ means comfortable, relaxed and chilled – precisely the way you’ll feel when you dine or have a drink with us. Filled with stylish, genuine Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. Browse our extensive menu of unique Sabai dishes, while sampling a cocktail or a bottle of wine from our comprehensive wine list. Try our gastronomic Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – many of which are grown by the family of the restaurant’s
owners back in Thailand. Come and enjoy – or as they say in Thailand: “Sanuk”! 165-169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030 www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com
Sawadee Cheer the spirit with a visit to this popular Thai restaurant in the heart of Kemp Town. At Sawadee you can expect a warm welcome and an informal atmosphere in which to enjoy traditional Thai food from an established team. Each dish is freshly made and the menu offers a range of fiery red and green curries, colourful stir fry dishes, and specialities such as local sea bass drenched in a warming ginger and yellow bean sauce. Try large prawns in golden shredded coconut batter or fruity beancurd with pineapple and red tomatoes. You can choose a lovely crisp white or mellow red wine to accompany your Thai meal and there are three different popular Oriental beers on offer. Don’t miss the great value set menus starting at £14.95 for a four-course, authentic Thai meal. Sawadee Thai Restaurant, 87 St James Street, Brighton BN2 1TP, 01273 624233
COFFEE SHOPS Spinelli Coffee Moksha Caffe
Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries. A place where customers are attended to by a dedicated team of the very best baristas, whose driving motivation is to provide the ultimate ‘coffee experience’. Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views. Everyone can find a place to sit and sip, get wrapped up in a good book, take advantage of the free Wi-Fi or just relax. Spinelli Coffee is located in the heart of Kemp Town Village, just off the corner of St George’s Road and College Road. Mon-Fri 8am-6pm, Sat 8:30am-6pm, Sun 9am-5pm. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
Moksha Caffe Brighton Moksha is Brighton’s ultimate independent café, with their own blend of locally roasted coffee made by highly trained baristas. They have an excellent range of homemade cakes and sandwiches all made on site with favourites like battenburg, quiches and gluten-free options like pistachio and orange biscotti. Moksha is not your usual high street coffee shop with its spacious interior and the works of local artists. They are child friendly, have disabled access and free WIFI. Free live music or comedy every Saturday night. Their opening hours are Mon–Fri 8am–7pm, Sat 8am–10pm, Sun 10am–6pm. Located opposite St Peters Church and only a stone’s throw away from Brighton Station. Moksha Caffe, 4-5 York Place, Brighton, 01273 248890, www.mokshacaffe.com
BARS Koba Bar and Club Koba hosts a happy hour in the front bar between 5-7pm all week. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list, and of course, champagne for special occasions (or just for the love of it). The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. To book your private party, reserve your guest list or to run through some ideas contact: Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, 01273 720059, www.kobauk.com
52 Western Road, Hove (Near Palmeira Square) Metered parking on seafront
Tel: 01273 323046 brighton@perfectionbridalandmenswear.co.uk www.perfectionbridalandmenswear.co.uk
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See more health tips at www.thelatest.co.uk/wave
Wellbeing Zara Baker talks resolutions it’s possible to keep Spa breaks, luxury treatments and expensive but effective products are not just for women. If females are destressing with luxurious massages and retaining youthful appearances with the latest wonder products, then the male species isn’t going to be left out. It’s at this time of year especially when cold winds and freezing temperatures, combined with stuffy central heating and gas fires take its toll on skin, leaving it looking dull and feeling dry. Moisturiser helps combat the effects of the surrounding environment, reinvigorating skin, leaving it fresh. Like products for women, men’s moisturisers can help fight the signs of ageing. Introducing this into the daily wash and shaving routine is easy and can be beneficial to hydrating skin all year round. Perfume-free products will prevent redness and over-drying. Followed with a moisturiser, the face is left soft and supple. Skin care and a healthy diet combined with plenty of exercise may be key to staying in optimum health. However, if stress is invading your life, it shows. Fight the negative effects of stress by taking time out to recharge the batteries. A massage or reflexology treatment can identify blocks and areas of the body held tense or ailments that frequently affect us. While the severity of stress-related conditions is unique to each person, reflexology is a holistic treatment making its way into the mainstream with its preventative elements. Focusing on the manipulation of pressure to areas of the feet, reflexology can aid relaxation and reduce stress, as more endorphins are released in the body. If any New Year resolutions are made this year, when it comes to wellbeing, it is possible and even easy to keep them.
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Your package includes: 60 minute Skin Assessment, Consultation and Patch Test Two week Dermaquest prep pack (six products lasting over a month) 1st Resurfacing treatment best suited to your skin type/condition 1st Laser Skin Photo Rejuvenation treatment 2nd Resurfacing treatment 2nd Laser Skin Photo Rejuvenation treatment 3rd Resurfacing treatment Total time: 10-12 weeks Result: Fresh, Even Toned, Glowing Complexion Cost: £555 (separately £640) Nutritional Therapy session can be booked any time during treatments, with additional sessions costing £30 (usually £40) www.brightonlaserclinic.co.uk Telephone 01273 686869, 56a Marine Parade, Kemptown, Brighton, BN2 1PN
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If you would like to comment on this story please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk
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latest listings Your weekly guide to what’s on
20 – 26 January
improv at its best, and you are guaranteed never to see the same show twice! The Brunswick, 7 January ✌✌✌✌
Under review Here’s our round up of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.thelatest.co.uk
Robert Marsh
Pic: Neil Hawkins
Off The Cuff The Goonies in seven seconds, the president, the first lady and a dog heading into space. If you have not experienced improvised comedy then I would seriously suggest you do so soon, and there is no better place than the Brunswick. It is almost impossible to describe the sheer joy of watching a group that perform so well together, so I won't even try. I’ll simply say that Off The Cuff is
Michael Eavis
HOT REVIEW OF THE WEEK Afterspark, with the LMB All Stars In these X Factor days, it can be hard for a truly original artist, however compelling, to find a gap in the static. The fact that Afterspark sold out of CDs to an audience otherwise entirely unfamiliar with the material spoke volumes. Featuring Cate Ferris’s distinctive voice, which is as English as a West Country cottage, material ranged from the anthemic ‘Low Flying Airplanes’ to truly moving pieces like ‘Little Glow’ and ‘Flying’. When Cate Ferris sings that she left her soul in a another time zone (‘Treat it gently, please… A constant 36 degrees’) you had better believe it. This was genuine poetry set to outstanding music. Exceptional stuff. Latest MusicBar, 2 January ✌✌✌✌✌
Lily Allen p26
The Space Having an audience with Glastonbury festival organiser, Michael Eavis is a bit like having a boisterous child on your hands: the kidology, the infectious laughter and all the stories locked up in that shiny noggin. From Bowie to Bolan, we zoom through the early years stopping only briefly with the mid80s convoys and questions you’d expect from Brighton hippie-dom “Did the arrival of police on the site spoil things?” “Not at all, much better now.” “Did you see Kings of Leon, weren’t they brilliant?” And he hits back at the corporatisation carp saying he eschews the sponsorship-millions offered and still gives £2million to charity each year. On before, ex-Shameless actress Maxine Peake proved a refreshing and guileless entrée. Latest MusicBar, 6 January ✌✌✌ Jan Goodey
Tag Comedy This is a premise that should be adopted far and wide and shakes up the moves of comics well practised in the art of delivering their own set. Roger Monkhouse, Markus Birdman, Dan Nightingale and Stephen Grant ducked on and off the stage, exchanging positions and cherry-picking from their vast orchards of comedic gold. As well as living off their wits they found themselves marooned in the spotlight. Taking established comics with more talent than ego and each with differing styles pays the dividends of a cracking night out. Well done Stephen Grant for succeeding in this popular monthly experiment. Komedia, 8 January ✌✌✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle
21 Stage Holiday on Ice is back with Mystery
22 Film Seth Green recounts life as an Amish farmer in Sex Drive; full film listings
24 Comedy Vicky on the comedian’s soul; listings
24 Art Aya Fukami’s Reviving Isolation; listings
26 Music News and reviews on the music scene; listings
29 Clubs Hot nights to tempt you out from under the duvet
30 Gay Queer Writing South, Four Poofs; listings
32 Television Dani on Half Ton Son; seven days of listings
Mark Ede Roger Monkhouse
For complete and comprehensive listings go to thelatest.co.uk latest 7 19
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latest
01273 687171
musicbar wed jan 21
tues jan 20
northbrook exposure some of brighton’s hottest new young bands perform free, will you see the next big thing? 8pm free
emma king & the heartsets + paul steel + magic bullet band
gay tango workshop tango lessons for all! 7.30 £10
nu-country’s finest 8pm £5
fri jan 23
thurs jan 22
anais mitchell + sharon lewis direct from the usa, righteous babe anais mitchell is joined by top uk singer/songwriter sharon lewis 8pm £7/5
sat jan 24 sun jan 25
now booking parties & weddings, civil partnerships, birthdays… …for the funkiest events call us and book the venue for
•
FREE
•subject to conditions
the catfish kings
upcoming dates
authentic new orleans rhythm and blues and rock n’ roll, party like it’s mardi gras 8pm £7
thurs feb 5
private party
bernice macdonald + dear jon + los bonobos bernice’s new album ‘garden’ is fantastic see her live, then see fab dear jon 8pm £4/£3
cordelia fellowes & the gypsy squat pop project + the shoestrung 60’s r’n’b played by brighton beautiful boys brilliantly 8pm £4/3
wed feb 11
book your private party with ruth or angi on 01273 687171
roast n jazz with sam chara & tom phelan 12.30pm til 3.30pm £10 inc lunch
breakthrough with rough trade mon jan 26
PARTIES
feat the blueskies + yokoko + droptear modelmaker great bands and great drinks promos at rough trade’s new brighton residency 7.30pm £3/£2
zoe lewis and her hot club band + ukes of hazard + romany diva of magic + alison rayner jazz, swing & a whole host of other shenanigans 9pm £8/6
tues feb 17 malcolm holcombe + the righteous ones + porchlight smoker country folk-americana 8pm £6/5
fri feb 27 ola onabule incredible soul, jazz & world music 8pm £12.50
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar 14 – 17 manchester street, brighton check our website bn2 1tf. 100 metres up from the pier for full programme
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STAGE The view from the Clark twins On Friday December 10 we went to the Brighton Centre to see Holiday on Ice with our family. It was an ice spectacular! The theme this year was Mystery and the team of international ice skaters keep changing costumes and sets for 12 different sections. The show started with wild drumming and amazing dancing from cloaked dancers. A giant crystal ball appeared and a fortune teller was conjured up from inside! We enjoyed the whole show but one of our favourite parts was Alice in Jazzland – all the characters from Alice in Wonderland, on ice. There were two amazing illusions: one where Alice stepped out of a giant story book, and another when she was put into a magician's box. We also liked the signs of the zodiac, some of them were very funny.
“Mystery delivered on every level with great costumes, fun and games, magic and extreme athleticism”
Skates on Andrew Kay is joined by The Clark Twins for Mystery this year’s Holiday On Ice show at the Brighton Centre Three decades of Holiday On Ice shows at the Brighton Centre prove, if nothing else, that there is an audience for this kind of entertainment. Not that I need that kind of proof. I have been a fan for years now, ever since the company took stock of its business and dragged it into the 21st century. I won’t say kicking and screaming, but it certainly made a difference. The involvement of local star, international skating guru and Olympic gold medallist Robin Cousins is more than evident. His skills as choreographer an co-director add an undeniable element of musicality and theatre to the whole. International stage director Anthony Van Laast adds the spectacular. It’s a teaming of talents that breathes a professionalism into the concept of an ice show that lifts it above what one might expect. This year Mystery delivered on almost every level with great costumes, moving trios, fun and games, magic and extreme athleticism. The aerial act was terrifying, the wheel – an essential element each year – was both clever and hilariously funny. There were pieces that had classicism and some that edged towards cheesy – but never the whole cheese. And on opening night only one tiny stumble, in what otherwise was a flawless show, meant the audience left thrilled and entertained. I loved the show and once again felt that the scale of the ice, by far the smallest that the company ever perform on, gave the whole a focus and more compact presence. Okay we may lose some of the jumps requiring space and speed, but I think it looks better. AK ★★★★✩
Paul The Goblin Forest was amazing. The Kieve goblins skated in line and finally created a huge, spinning, skating wheel. They did this clever thing of making the goblins back to front so they looked really weird and like they were skating backwards. We were lucky enough to meet the illusionist who for the show. Paul Kieve – a real magician who has worked on movies like the Harry Potter. He taught Daniel Radcliffe magic! The skaters were amazingly good. They must practise incredibly hard to get the group pieces so perfect and when they dance individually they do complicated and graceful moves that make the audience gasp and clap. We thought it was spectacular! Nat and Becky Clark ★★★★★
Tuesday 20 January to Monday 16 February
Puccini Turandot Opera of a cold-hearted princess and the man who can melt her heart. • 3 Feb, 7.30pm, £18–£30 London Philharmonic Orchestra Rachmaninov’s Second Piano Concerto. • 8 Feb, 3pm, £12–£24
Brighton Dome
Komedia
STAGELISTINGS 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org To Break a Man Compelling one-woman show. A man is caught between doing the right thing and doing the best thing for everyone. • 28 Jan, 7.30pm, £7.50/5 Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Bach Suite No.2 in B minor. • 8 Feb, 2.45pm, £8–£30 Henri Oguike Dance Company Includes a joyous and uplifting full ensemble piece set to the carnival rhythms of René Aubry’s music. • 10 Feb, 8pm, £15/12.50/10
Chichester Festival Theatre 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk How long is a Piece of String? For ages two to six. Interactive show combining live music and astounding visuals. • 27–31 Jan, £10/8/7.50 SOLD OUT Guys and Dolls 1950s New York – a smalltime hustler dodges the moment he has to say ‘I Do’ to his long suffering fiancée.
• 2–7 Feb, 7.15pm plus 2.15pm Wed. £15/13.50 Brave New World A new opera by children from Goodwood Area Schools, based on Shakespeare’s The Tempest. • 3 Feb, 6.30pm, £6/5 Everybody Dance Now A collaboration of all Dynamic Dance Company’s classes. Modern music from High School Musical to Chicago. • 7 Feb, 6.30pm, £9.50/7.50/5.50
Eastbourne: Congress Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Anton & Erin – Cheek to Cheek Anton du Beke and Eric Boag in a glamorous celebration of ballroom and latin song and dance. • 29 Jan, 7.30pm, £25–£29.50 Strictly Strauss Be transported to the Viennese ballrooms of the 19th century. • 30 Jan, 7.30pm, £20–£26 Verdi Aida Tragic love story of the doomed love between a Ethiopian slave girl, Aida, and the Egyptian hero, Radames. • 2 Feb, 7.30pm, £18–£30
0845 293 8480 www.komedia.co.uk Voodoo Vaudeville presents: Dead Glam Sinister figures stalk the shadows in this twisted cabaret with cutting edge dance. • 24 Jan, 7.30pm, £10
Theatre Royal 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Don’t Look Now The chilling tale of a couple who escape to Venice after the death of their daughter. • 19–24 Jan, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Thu & Sat, £15–£25 Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat Andrew Lloyd Webber’s famous musical retelling the biblical story of Joseph. • 27 Jan–1 Feb, 7.45pm, plus 2.30pm Wed & Thu, 5pm Fri–Sun, 2pm Sat & Sun & 8pm Sat. £12–£25 4 Poofs and a Piano eclectic mix of song and dance, from jaunty re-workings of classic covers • 8 Feb, 7.30pm, £15.50 Totally Looped Hilarious improv show direct
Sanjeev Bhaskar appears in Totally Looped
from Hollywood – You Tube meets Mock the Week. Top comics dub old movie clips. • 12 Feb, 7.30pm, £tbc Swan Lake Performed by the Russian State Ballet and Orchestra of Siberia. • 13–14 Feb, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Sat, £tbc
Worthing: Assembly Hall Theatre 01093 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Worthing Philharmonic Orchestra Diamond Jubilee celebration of the Worthing orchestra. • 7 Feb, 7.30pm, £8–£15
Worthing: Connaught Theatre 01093 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Strictly Murder Ian Dickens Productions’ new adaptation of Brian Clemens’ play. • 10–14 Feb, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed, 2.30pm Sat, £13–£22
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FILM www.odeon.co.uk
0871 224 4007 Tuesday 20 BEDTIME STORIES (PG) 12.45 BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (U) 1.30, 3.45 BRIDE WARS (PG) 2.30, 5.00 DEFIANCE (15) 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 MILK (15) 8.45 MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D (18) 7.00, 9.30 ROLE MODELS (15) 7.10, 9.30 SEVEN POUNDS (12A) 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 THE READER (15) 1.00 THE WRESTLER (15) 3.30, 6.00. 8.45 TWILIGHT (12A) 1.10, 3.45,6.30, 9.00 YES MAN (12A) 2.00, 4.30
Wednesday 21 AUSTRALIA (12A) 8.20 BEDTIME STORIES (PG) 12.45 BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (U) 1.30, 3.45, 6.00 BRIDE WARS (PG) 2.30, 5.00 DEFIANCE (15) 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D (18) 7.00, 9.30 ROLE MODELS (15) 7.10, 9.30 SEVEN POUNDS (12A) 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 3.00, 5.45, 8.30
THE READER (15) 1.00 THE WRESTLER (15) 3.30, 6.00. 8.45 TWILIGHT (12A) 1.10, 3.45, 6.30, 9.00 YES MAN (12A) 2.00, 4.30
Thursday 22 AUSTRALIA (12A) 8.20 BEDTIME STORIES (PG) 12.45 BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (U) 1.30, 3.45, 6.00 BRIDE WARS (PG) 2.30, 5.00 DEFIANCE (15) 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D (18) 7.00, 9.30 ROLE MODELS (15) 7.10, 9.30 SEVEN POUNDS (12A) 10.45, 2.30, 5.30, 8.30 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 THE READER (15) 1.00 THE WRESTLER (15) 3.30, 6.00. 8.45 TWILIGHT (12A) 1.10, 3.45, 9.00 YES MAN (12A) 2.00, 4.30
Films showing Friday 23–Monday 26 PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA
www.picturehouses.co.uk
01273 626261 Tuesday 20
Saturday 24
BADLANDS (15) 11.00am THE WRESTLER (15) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00
LOONEY TUNES: BACK IN ACTION (PG) 11.00am MET. OPERA: ORFEO ED EURIDICE 5.45, 6.00 MILK (15) 2.00
Wednesday 21 BADLANDS (15) 11.00am THE WRESTLER (15) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00
Thursday 22
Sunday 25 LATCHO DROM (U) 11.00am MILK (15) 1.00, 3.30, 6.45, 9.15
THE WRESTLER (15) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00
Monday 26
Friday 23
MILK (15) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.45
MILK (15) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.45
CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES
www.cineworld.co.uk
0871 200 2000 Tuesday 20
Thursday 22
AUSTRALIA (12A) 1.30, 5.00, 8.30 BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (U) 12.40, 3.00, 5.10, 7.20 MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D(18) 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10 ROLE MODELS (15) 2.10, 4.40, 7.10, 9.40 SEVEN POUNDS (12A) 12.30, 3.20, 6.10, 9.00 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 2.20, 3.10, 6.00, 8.50 THE READER (15) 12.00, 2.50, 5.50, 8.40 YES MAN (12A) 9.30 BRIDE WARS (15) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.20
AUSTRALIA (12A) 1.30, 5.00, 8.30 BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (U) 12.40, 3.00, 5.10, 7.20 MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D(18) 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10 ROLE MODELS (15) 2.10, 4.40, 7.10, 9.40 SEVEN POUNDS (12A) 12.30, 3.20, 6.10, 9.00 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 2.20, 3.10, 6.00, 8.50 THE READER (15) 12.00, 2.50, 5.50, 8.40 YES MAN (12A) 9.30 BRIDE WARS (15) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.20
Wednesday 21
Films showing Friday 23–Monday 26
AUSTRALIA (12A) 1.30, 5.00, 8.30 BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (U) 12.40, 3.00, 5.10, 7.20 MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D(18) 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10 ROLE MODELS (15) 2.10, 4.40, 7.10, 9.40 SEVEN POUNDS (12A) 12.30, 3.20, 6.10, 9.00 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 2.20, 3.10, 6.00, 8.50 THE READER (15) 12.00, 2.50, 5.50, 8.40 YES MAN (12A) 9.30 BRIDE WARS (15) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.20
CHECK WITH CINEMA CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES
www.worthingtheatres.co.uk
01903 206206 Tues 20 Jan–Thurs 22 Jan BRIDE WARS (PG) 8.00, 2.00 (Thurs) A BUNCH OF AMATEURS (15) 7.30, 1.30 (Thurs) CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES
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lowdown What’s on this week
Australia (12A)
The Reader (15)
Dir: Baz Luhrmann Nicole Kidman stars as a Brit in 1940s Oz who slowly falls for Hugh Jackman's enigmatic cattle rancher, known only as ‘The Drover.’ With WWII as the dramatic backdrop and stunning landscapes, Luhrmann's film looks to be a sweeping epic with obvious Oscar ambition. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
Dir: Stephen Daldry Kate Winslet finally got a major awards nod when she blubbed her heart out accepting the Best Supporting Actress Golden Globe. Based on the acclaimed novel, Ralph Fiennes plays a law student who encounters his former lover defending herself at a post-World War II war crimes trial. Looks like Ricky Gervais was right: the key to winning awards seems to be appearing in a film about the Holocaust. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Duke of York’s
Beverly Hills Chihauhua (U)
Dir: Raja Gosnell Drew Barrymore opts for the easy money option with this doggy variation on the Clueless formula. Barrymore voices pampered chihauhua pup Chloe (think Paris Hilton’s bug-eyed sidekick) who is forced to fend for herself when misfortune leads to her encountering a group of strays in Mexico, led by one Delgado (voiced by Andy Garcia). Low-rent family fare at the ready, this may be fun for animal lovers and teenage girls alike. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
Bride Wars (PG) Director: Gary Winick Dealing with that old staple of the romantic comedy, the assumption that every single woman on the planet’s dream is a big, expensive white wedding, Bride Wars provides not one, but two weddings for your buck. Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway play old school friends who have lived their lives with the idea of the perfect wedding day. When both are proposed to at the same time, they find their ideal venue is double-booked and the gloves come off for the titular battle of the brides. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon & Worthing
My Bloody Valentine 3D (18)
Dir: Patrick Lussier What with seventies and eighties horror remakes all the rage at the moment, it’s now the turn of the era’s also-rans. This stalk-and-slash Halloween copycat is the latest. The survivor of a Valentine’s Day massacre returns to his hometown ten years later only to find history repeats itself as the killings begin again. Until James Cameron's long-awaited comeback, the fully 3D Avatar next year, it looks likely there'll be a fair few lesser stabs (excuse the pun) like this at the 3D movie experience. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
Role Models (15) Dir: David Wain Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott play immature, boorish salesmen forced to act as positive role models for delinquent teenagers. Superbad’s McLovin’, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, co-stars as one of the unfortunate kids in this undemanding comedy. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
Slumdog Millionaire (15) Dir: Danny Boyle Who would have expected a feel-good drama based in Mumbai as Trainspotting and 28 Days Later director Danny Boyle’s next film? Dev Patel stars as Jamal, an 18-year-old boy taking part in the Indian equivalent to Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Critics are calling this Boyle’s masterpiece, with it tipped for Oscar glory after its Golden Globe success. Showing at Odeon, Cineworld and Duke of York’s
The Wrestler (15) Dir: Darren Aaronofsky It's been a tough few years for the director of the acclaimed π and Requiem for a Dream. After the massive flop that was The Fountain and being deemed too dark to direct Batman Begins, this is the comeback he needs. Mickey Rourke plays an ageing wrestler struggling to make ends meet as he meets ageing stripper Marisa Tomei. Rourke went into full-on method mode to prepare for this role; he was rewarded with the Best Actor gong at the Golden Globes, always a strong indicator for Oscar success. Showing at Duke of York’s and Odeon Nick Aldwinckle
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FILM He and I were very on the same page with what we thought this was. He gave me specific notes to accentuate it, but we agreed on what we were going for, and that’s why I think I got the job! And as for Josh [Zuckerman, the lead], he seemed such a perfect foil, because he’s really sweet and sincere and so earnest. The Fall Out Boy scene was pretty funny I know those guys and when they were talking about bands, they were at the top of the list of the bands we wanted, so I just texted Pete Wentz, the bassist and songwriter. It was like, ‘Have you heard about this movie Sex Drive?’ And he goes, ‘Yeah, are you in it? Sure.’
Coming of Age Seth Green talks about his role in Sex Drive playing Amish farmer Ezekiel Your character’s very sardonic. You must have enjoyed playing him He takes a certain joy in being an pain, so I think it was less about me trying to keep from laughing as much as letting that come through. Did you know much about Amish people before this movie? Oh, I’ve done a tremendous amount of research, I grew up near Dutch Wonderland in Amish country. I learned how to make fudge in their factory. They’re big on fudge. It’s all natural elements and very easy to mill apparently. Upper body strength is what I discovered. That’s why all their kids have huge shoulders! I’m joking of course!
James Marsden said that he tried to keep people on their toes. Did you do the same when you weren’t shooting? No, I’m not that Daniel Day Lewis about it! Sometimes when I’m playing a more dramatic, more complete, a departure character, like I was doing Party Monster, we kept those personas on, in between takes, because that ramps it up a little. But I’m really not that ‘method’ guy.
We had no idea about Rumspringer, where they can go wild! Oh yeah, there’s a great documentary called Devil’s Playground, which is really disturbing! Anytime you watch underage kids doing anything illegal – drugs, alcohol, rampant sexuality, any of the things that tend to go on, it is shocking. And especially the joie de vivre which these kids are pursuing all of these types of things. They’re like, ‘I don't care!’ and you’re like, ‘Oh my God, I'm not sending my kid to that college!’ Rumspringer is all based on themselves. I believe it’s meant to be only a period of months, where the kids have the opportunity to go to college. They can go outside in the world and just experience life.
Did you bring a lot of improv to the role in Sex Drive? We got to improv a bunch. The bulk of what you see in the film was on paper, they wrote a really clever script and it was just about interpreting it well. But yeah, we got to play around.
Did you talk a lot to [the director] Sean Anders about what kind of humour you wanted to bring out in the film?
What road trip movie movie grabbed you when you were younger? Mad, Mad World probably. It’s a great road trip movie. The last time I saw it was right before we did Rat Race, because I wanted to see how close we were. Everyone’s crazy in that movie. What’s coming up for you? I’ve got an episode of My Name Is Earl coming on, I did a bit on Entourage, and I’m working on Heroes.
WIN Sex Drive film merchandise Sex Drive is everyone’s favourite classic road movie – revamped for the 21st century. Based on the young adult novel All The Way, by Andy Behrens, Sex Drive takes inspiration from John Hughes, the author of adolescent adventures like Pretty in Pink and Sixteen Candles. Latest 7 has three Sex Drive goodie bags to give away, packed with fantastic official merchandise. Win a Tshirt, keyring, bottle opener, beer tankard and beer cooler.
To enter, simply answer this question: Which novel is Sex Drive based on? A By The Way B All The Way C One Way Email your answer to competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘film giveaway’ in the subject box. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Entrants must be aged 16 and over. Closing date for entries Monday 2 February 2009.
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STAND-UP COMEDY
ART
A laughing matter Victoria Nangle looks at how jokes belong to the comedian’s soul and how you might remember them There was a point, about a year or so ago, when I just knew I’d watched loads of live comedy. Chiefly because it was my first instance of recognising someone’s material before I recognised them. Let me explain. A lovely lady comedian from London contacted me asking about guesting on the radio show I used to have on Radio Reverb. I’d get loads of comics on if I could and was happy to oblige, but our schedules clashed and it never happened. So when I found out she was playing at the Komedia I made a concerted effort to go along and see her. My friends who had seen her act were raving about it; I was looking forward to seeing it – we were all set. And then she stepped out on stage. She was good, don’t get me wrong, but it took me a good five minutes of her material déjå vuing around my brain like a ping pong ball in a small space before I realised I’d seen her show before. In fact I’d seen an entire hour-long show from her six months previously and written up a review on the show. It wasn’t forgettable. It was just that the material rang a bell with me more than the name or the face. This has long since stopped being an isolated incident, and I’m not alone in my name-blindness. When I’ve raved about a comic, seasoned veterans have turned to me and asked what the best gag of my current object d’amour was. It helps. It’s like having an extra tag in your address book to help identify the caller.
“Jokes are a commodity – just look at the number of scriptwriters credited at the end of Graham Norton’s show to see what a big industry it is” The difficulty with this is when a gag is stolen – it happens – by another comic. A major faux pas in any comedy circles, when up-andcoming comics are starting to make it through to the attention of more established establishments, the seasoned pros can sometimes be tempted to rip off a gag or two. Jokes are a commodity – just look at the number of scriptwriters credited at the end of Graham Norton’s show to see what a big industry it is. Some comics give up performing entirely and concentrate on writing material for other people as their sole contact with comedy. You can sometimes hear their comedic voices coming through when a big name does a gag that jars a bit with their natural stage persona. It wasn’t theirs to start with. But at least they pay for them. Which is why I quite like knowing comics by their material first, names and faces second. It’s their comedic soul, if I want to get dramatic on your backside. And it’s the devil’s work to steal a soul. Either that or a very poor class of comedian indeed.
☺
Stand-up wisdom: “I played poker the other night against a colonic hydrotherapist. He totally cleaned me out.” Neil Dagley
Coalition Comedy Paul McCaffrey and Susan Murray are your comedy stars tonight hosted by Guy Venables. Comedy with a sea view! The Coalition, 8pm, £5.
Friday 23 Krater Comedy Club Take a break from the working week with Jason Cook, Milton Jones and more tbc. MC Stephen Grant. Also performing on Saturday and Sunday.
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➧ For full listings go to thelatest.co.uk/7
Returning to the playground of abstraction, Reviving Isolation re-imagines an avant-garde, conjoining radical geometry with the organic, a lightness of touch and humour. Primary shapes and colours flit about, celebrating form and object relations through slight quotation and a sense of mischief. A swathe of painted and incised fabric covers the length of Permanent Gallery and partly obscures the window; with clusters of small sculptures scattered along the surface of the flat expanse. These nested forms combine organic and artificial elements, jumbled polygons and un-equilateral triangles. Fragments of the fabric’s original pattern have been excised, creating small apertures, and from the street the partly occluded gallery space can be seen through these void-like fissures. Essentially non-dualist in her approach, Aya Fukami finds no disjunction between organic and geometric, natural or synthetic. For Reviving Isolation she has conjured an inner dialogue between colours, shapes, objects, and the empty spaces in between. This installation is a playful celebration of abstraction, asymmetry and rhythm that reconfigures Permanent Gallery for the first exhibition of 2009. An especially commissioned booklet and series of events accompanies the exhibition. Aya Fukami: Reviving Isolation, Permanent Gallery, Bedford Place, until 8 February. www.permanentgallery.com
Check with venue for times and prices. Komedia, 7:30pm, £12.50/10.
Saturday 24 Joanna Neary and Joseph Nixon present: Situation Comedy and Sketch Show Both for radio, to be performed by a selection of talented local actors. Joanna's is based on the family life of her most popular character, Celia. Joseph's is a sci-fi sketch show. Three And Ten, 4pm, £7/5.
ART LISTINGS Crane Kalman
Tin Drum
38 Kensington Gdns, 01273 697096 Brighton & Hove Calendar The annual calendar exhibition featuring work that depicts Brighton throughout the year, in all its colourful and vibrant glory. Calendar is also for sale at £5. Mon–Sat 10am–6pm, Sun 10.30am–4.30pm
Sam Hewitt Using an acute awareness of colour relationships, his abstracts are full of personal symbolism, and suggestive of flows from the subconscious to the conscious mind. Dyke Road, Brighton Anna Platts Illustrative work. Second Avenue, Hove Elaine O’Connell Brighton-based Irish photographer whose spiritual work centres around her travels around the globe including South America and South East Asia. St James’s Street, Brighton Until 30 January, Mon–Wed 10am–11pm, Thurs–Sat 10am–1am, Sun 10am–10.30pm
Brighton Museum & Art Gallery
COMEDYLISTINGS
Thursday 22
Reviving Isolation
Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 292882 Lives Less Photographed: Working Class Life in Brighton, 1860–1935 Exhibition that reveals some rare images of local working class life: the people, and the lost areas of Brighton where they lived. Until 26 April 2009 Paintings Unwrapped This exhibition takes 60 paintings and helps you look at them with a fresh eye. Many of them will be on display for the first time in many years and include modern, local, international and historical works. Until 13 April 2009
Permanent Gallery 20 Bedford Place, Brighton 07730 065964 Aya Fukami: Reviving Isolation Returning to the playground of abstraction, Reviving Isolation re-imagines an avantgarde, conjoining geometry with the lightness of touch and humour. Until 8 Feb, Thurs, Fri & Sun 1–6pm, Sat 11am–6pm
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KIDS&EVENTS
For complete listings go to thelatest.co.uk
Write club
EVENTHIGHLIGHTS
Picture: BBC/MBC/Jeff Overs
University of Brighton are kicking off the year with a brilliant new creative writing course
Question Time at The Hawth, Crawley The popular television show Question Time comes to The Hawth in Crawley this week. Show host David Dimbleby will appear with a panel of significant figures drawn from politics, media and the world of entertainment. The event offers British voters a unique opportunity to quiz top decision makers on the events of the day. Hot seats will be taken at The Hawth as the guests face questions from the people of Crawley and the surrounding areas. If you have a question you’ve been burning to ask and would like to be part of the participating audience of 150 people or if you would just like to be a spectator then log onto the BBC Question Time website: www.bbc.co.uk/questiontime. The audience will arrive at 6pm for registration and question submission; the show recording will take place at 8.30pm for one hour and then be aired on BBC1 at 10.35pm the same night. Question Time at The Hawth takes place Thursday 22 January. For more information call 01293 552941. The Hawth Theatre and Conference Centre, Hawth Avenue, Crawley.
Aspiring writers looking to kick start their career may find a boost in a new course run by the University of Brighton. The university has teamed up with local community publisher QueenSpark Books to offer the 12-week course from Friday 13 February. Sessions will be held on Friday afternoons with the aim of helping you develop your writing style and get experience of the publishing process. The classes will take place in the university’s creative centre (pictured). After seeing your ideas develop over 12 weeks, the results will be published in a group book. Experienced QueenSpark staff will guide you through the publishing process and you will take part in an editorial board meeting, where you will decide what’s in and what’s out. Four of the sessions will be run by guest writing professionals, providing experience and advice on a wide range of writing styles from the novel to TV and radio scriptwriting, short stories and poetry. The first masterclass will be led by Elizabeth Morgan, an actress, novelist, TV presenter and playwright, who will focus on adaptations, translations, radio plays and short stories. Currently based in France, Morgan’s credits include Dad’s Army, Captain Scarlett, Hetty Wainthropp Investigates and the Dick Emery Show. She has had 26 plays performed on BBC Radio 4 and is currently working on a new book due for publication in 2010. Another session will be led by Julie Everton, whose career started in the early 90s when she was selected to be part of the BBC’s New Writers for Drama series. She went on to win the Royal Court Young Writers Festival, has written five episodes of Crossroads for Carlton TV and now, in addition to her own creative work, teaches screenwriting for the UK Film Council. QueenSpark Books will lead a session on how to get published. You will benefit from their 36 years’ experience, in which time they have published more than 90 titles, often giving a voice to the local community. The course is led by Jess Moriarty who has earned a Teaching Excellence award from the university for her creative writing classes. In 2007 she co-founded the writing retreat company, www.workwritelive.com which received an innovation award and has featured in the national press. She said: “So many people have good ideas for stories but lack the confidence to put these ideas to paper. This course will inspire creativity, provide tips on how to get published and develop writing skills through a range of masterclasses with professional writers.“ See details below.
Woodcraft Skills Day for parent and child Feeling the cold? Let Sussex Wildlife Trust take your mind off the freezing temperatures with their special Woodcraft Skills Day this Saturday 24 January. The day is designed for parents or carers with a child aged ten or over. Work together to develop a range of woodcraft skills including fire lighting. Use tools to make items from green wood and work with other natural materials. Bring along some food as there will be the chance to cook over the campfire and don’t forget to wear warm, outdoor clothing. Meet at Stanmer Park lower lodge’s car park in Brighton. Contact on day of event 07821 629955. Booking essential call 01273 497561. Saturday 24 January, 11am–3pm. Members: Adults £10/children £10. Non-members: adults £15 /children £15.
EVENTSLISTINGS
BOOKSLISTINGS
Tuesday 20
Saturday 24
Coming up…
Eastbourne's Tea Dance Experienced dancers and beginners are welcome. Organist Chris Mannion provided the music to dance the afternoon away to. Winter Gardens, 2pm–5pm, £5
An Artist's View: Gallery Talk With painter and printmaker Harvey Daniels. The exhibition seen through the eyes of specialists. Brighton Museum & Art Gallery, 2:00pm, free. Dance Weekend – Masked Ball Ballroom and Latin cabaret. Pavilion Theatre (Worthing), 6pm, £35 two-course meal, £20 dance only. Gallery Tour Tour of the wonderful world of follies with photographer Nic Barlow. Hove Museum & Art Gallery, 2pm–3pm, free. Woodcraft Skills Day for Parent and Child With the Sussex Wildlife Trust. For parents or carers with a child aged 10+. Booking essential call 01273 497561. Lower lodges car park, Stanmer Park, 11am–3pm, £10/15.
Creative writing from idea to print – Brighton University Creativity Centre, Cockroft Building, Lewes Road 12-week course, Fridays 1.30–4.30pm Starts Friday 13 February. Fee £275 (income support/benefits concess £137.50). Further information contact Jess Moriarty j.s.moriarty@brighton.ac.uk 01273 643359. www.brighton.ac.uk/languages/creativewriting www.queensparkbooks.org.uk
Thursday 22 Busy Bees Crafts – Bouncing Frogs Make a bouncy frog in this fun craft sessions for young children. Under 8s must be accompanied by an adult. Hastings Children's Library, 10:45am–11:30am, free. Hip Hop Versus Poets Sound Off Annual sound off. Komedia, 7:30pm, £tbc
To feature in kids email editorial@thelatest.co.uk
famous essay ‘The Uncanny‘. One day event featuring Brighton writers Alison MacLeod and Professor Nicholas Royle of Sussex University, famous for his book The Uncanny. University of Chichester, The Mitre Lecture Theatre, Bishop Otter Campus, Chichester, PO19 6PE. Thursday 26 February, 1.30pm–7.30pm. Admission £15 or students £10. To attend or if you wish to contribute a 20-minute paper, call Kate Betts on 01243 816163 or email K.Betts@chi.ac.uk sending a 200-word outline by Monday 2 February.
Winter Forum on ‘The Uncanny’ Fiction writers and academics come together to discuss the inspiration – across books, the media and the field of psychology – of Freud’s
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latest music ★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★
NEWS French festival Our close neighbours continue their oh-sosubtle invasion of our musical landscape (remember the days when we used to deride the fact that the best they could come up with was Johnny Halliday?) with a mini-festival of sorts, organised by local promoters Melting Vinyl and sponsored by The Real Pâtisserie. Three gigs over four nights, with the suave Sebastien Tellier at Concorde 2 (21 January), kooky chanteuse Françoiz Breut at Duke of York’s (24 January) sandwiched by a French artist showcase also at Duke of York’s (23 January) with acts Curry and Coco, François & The Atlas Mountains plus others TBA.
Beachdown acts announced Beachdown Festival have announced the first lot of local acts to play alongside the likes of Grandmaster Flash, The Blockheads, St Etienne, Dreadzone, The Fall and Norman Jay, on the August bank holiday. Mean Poppa Lean, Drookit Dogs, Sweet Sweet Lies, Gloria Cycles, Portslade, Los Albertos, Ocean Reid, Chris Simmons, Seeker, Two Spot Gobi, Rebel Control, The Perils and The Beautiful Word have all been confirmed for the four-day bash held on the Dyke, and overlooking the sea.
Exceptional objects Genre twisting U.S indie-electrofunk rockers of Montreal make a welcome return to Brighton You may know Athens, Georgia as the home of those godfathers of modern alternative music, REM. A city with a thriving music and arts scene, Athens also houses a lesser known band who have been quietly treading their own distinct path while Stipe, Mills and Buck spent the last decade resting on their formidable laurels. As a statement of intent, the name Of Montreal perfectly summarises frontman Kevin Barnes’ band. Sexually ambiguous, wildly hedonistic and almost wilfully creative, the band embodies the very best elements associated with its Canadian city namesake. The band’s first full-length release, Cherry Peel, came out in 1997. An early foray into the
band’s now trademark idiosyncratic lyrical obscurity, striking visual style and eclectic art collage sound, the template was set for what would in time almost define the term ‘cult’. Though the early sound hinted at the dancefloor behemoth OM was to become, it took six more ridiculously-named albums (one with the brilliantly silly moniker Coquelicot Asleep in the Poppies: A Variety of Whimsical Verse) for the band’s big breakthrough. 2007’s Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer? was an instant classic – a potent fusion of wonky dance beats with funk rhythms and high-octane indie guitar jangles that got the band recognised on a larger international scale than ever before. Last year’s ninth album, Skeletal Lamping, follows the same path of arty, hearty, infectious crossover rock to set the dancefloor alight. Last year saw the publication of of Montreal’s tongue-in-cheek but ultimately telling manifesto regarding the unique way in which they package their music. Emboldened, elevated above all is the slogan “We will only propagate exceptional objects.” True musical mavericks who package themselves in even more outlandish style than their music, never a truer word has been spoken. See of Montreal on Saturday 24 January at Digital. Nick Aldwinckle
Sweet Sweet Lies
Early bird tickets are available from selected outlets. Also announced is Favela Chic who will be taking up a four-day residency in its own purpose-built and designed arena complete with a line-up made up of Latin artists and DJs. Beachdown Festival, 28–31 August.
UPCOMING GIGS
Lily Allen Mouthy, feisty and opinionated… God, isn’t she just great!? Friday 20 March, Dome
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Marillion 28 January, Concorde 2 The Streets 28 January, Dome Richard Thompson 31 January, Dome Emmy The Great 2 February, Komedia Sharleen Spiteri 5 February, Dome Keane 10 February, Brighton Centre Mongrel 13 February, Coalition Robyn Hitchcock 16 February, Komedia NME Awards Tour 16 February, Dome Secret Machines 17 February, Concorde 2 Late Of The Pier 18 February, Concorde 2 Black Lips 19 February, Audio Amadou and Mariam 24 Feb, Concorde 2 Durutti Column 25 February, Komedia Candi Staton 25 February, Old Market Elbow 28 February, Dome
Emiliana Torrini 14 March, St Georges Lily Allen 20 March, Dome Hugh Cornwell 25 March, Concorde 2 The Beat 27 March, Concorde 2 Nick Harper 28 March, Latest Bar Simply Red 31 March, Brighton Centre The Enemy 8 April, Dome The Prodigy 14 April, Brighton Centre David Byrne 14 April, Dome Gary Moore 17 April, Dome Australian Pink Floyd 28 April, Brighton Centre Counting Crows 24 May, Brighton Centre Antony & The Johnsons 21 May, Dome Katy Perry 2 June, Dome Jeff Beck 24 June, Dome Show Of Hands 6 May, Komedia
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MUSICHIGHLIGHTS Sebastien Tellier Released on Air’s record label and produced by Daft Punk’s GuyManuel de Homem-Christo, Tellier’s latest album Sexuality draws on elements of ‘90s Paris new wave. Pumped full of suave arrogance, Tellier also displays rare Parisian humour as evidenced on Eurovision (yes, he was the French entrant) where he drove onto stage in a golf buggy flanked by bearded ladies. Yes, he’s one crazy frog… Wednesday 21 January, Concorde 2 JH Anais Mitchell & Sharon Lewis This 25year-old Vermont singer/songwriter performs her meticulously written alternative acoustic indie songs, fervently singing them in a
distinctive, almost childlike voice. It could well be her life mission to rouse the hearts and minds of her listeners with an acoustic guitar. This lady has been creating gorgeous music since entering the underground folk scene in 2002. A double-bill with Brighton based singer songwriter Sharon Lewis. Thursday 22 January, Latest Music Bar JH All That Remains + The Haunted Apart from local heroes Architects later in the month, January’s been a bit devoid of decent metal gigs, so this should satisfy anyone’s need for heavy music. Massachusetts melodic metalcore men All That Remains have solid support from veteran Swedes The Haunted for
what should be an intense show. Friday 23 January, Concorde 2
NA
Bomb The Music Industry Nice statement of intent; this talented New York/Georgia outfit have put their money where their mouth is, with a hefty four albums available to download for free via their Myspace page. With song titles like ‘Pizza Claus is Coming to Town’ and ‘F*ck the Fans’ and a sound ranging from ska to hardcore to surf-pop to The Good Life style whiskey balladry, but all messed up beyond recognition, this gig is truly essential. Friday 23 January, Prince Albert NA David McAlmont One half of nineties indie/soul favourites McAlmont and Butler, David McAlmont still performs as a solo artist alongside a
successful production and writing career. With an undiminished voice still capable of reaching the heavens, this should make for a rousing performance. Friday 23 January, De La Warr Pavilion NA Julian Arguelles Highly regarded as a composer and as an improviser, saxophonist Arguelles joined Loose Tubes aged just 20. Since then he has enjoyed a flourishing career as a band leader, recording six albums as such. Musically, he’s inspired by the many non-chord sax trios that have emerged over the years including the trios of Sonny Rollins, Ornette Coleman and Jan Garbarek. Friday 23 January, Komedia JH Samsara + Titan System + King Porter Stomp + Linos & Nastafara The comm:UNITY collective return with another night of homegrown musical talent plus a festival vibe and stall-style atmosphere to learn about what people are up to in the local community. Friday 23 January, Komedia JH Françoiz Breut There’s a bit of a gallic theme surrounding Brighton this weekend with the Duke of York’s French music showcase on Friday night and this show by Belgian chanteuse Françoiz Breut. A frankly great throwback to moody, effortless sixties elegance that makes the likes of Duffy and Adele look like amateurs. Saturday 24 January, Duke of York’s NA Denny Laine Former Moody Blues singer who went on to form Wings with Paul McCartney, and stayed with the band until its break up in 1980. Partly responsible for ‘Mull of Kintyre’ (he co-wrote it), Laine is a fine guitarist, songwriter and singer who perhaps has been a little overlooked over the years. Saturday 24 January, Old Market JH Marlena Shaw Old school jazz soul mistress who was the first female solo artist to be signed to Blue Note, and who keeps on reenergising herself due to samples used by trendy dance makers (‘Remember Me by Blueboy), and use of her music on commercials. ‘California Soul’, anyone? Monday 26 January, Old Market JH Jackie Leven From ‘94 until recently, Jackie Leven published a quarterly magazine and released an annual album, mostly live in content, which was limited to members of The Haunted Valley appreciation society. Over the year, eight of those albums will be rereleased starting with Men In Prison (recorded in Bergen Men’s prison in Norway) and 2002’s Munich Blues. Monday 26 January, Greys JH
Anais Mitchell
WINTER OFFER
all Sushi £2 only * Sunday only * Must book in advance
If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk
latest 7 27
028_LS407 reviews/chart
1/15/09
12:25 PM
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MUSIC
MUSIC REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases In our fragmented, confused, rather nasty and often crazy world many of us are reaching out for a lost paradise, a bygone era, a rose-tinted hue to help us cope. In Brighton we have the delicate and fragile Woodland Recordings with their roster of almost unbearably twee and very often bearded bands. Meanwhile, over in Canada, there’s Woodpigeon who have decided to call their debut long player, the rather longing Treasury Library Canada. Their twee will never be like our twee. They know. We don’t. Hence Woodpigeon’s appropriate dark hues within their gorgeous indie-folk sound, despite some of uninspiring song titles (‘Piano Pieces for Adult Beginners’, ‘In The Battle of Sun vs. Curtains, Sun Loses and We Sleep Until Noon’, anyone?). Where Elliot Smith meets King Creosote via the byways of 60s folk. From Chichester but now New York based, Antony & The Johnsons took the Big Apple by storm with his highly artistic and musical statements that culminated on the Mercury Music Prize winner I Am A Bird Now. Back with a new album, The Crying Light is delicate, mournful, haunting, melancholic, sometimes beautiful – all those things you would expect from AATJ. If you can get past the persistent warbling voice, the depressing lyrics, the anguished sentiments, and the overwhelming ‘art’ of it all, then it’s another winner. It’s a little bit shallow, not nearly as important as some would have you believe… Oh, the trials and tribulations of suddenly becoming a pop star. Lily Allen lays her emotions bare on new single ‘The Fear’, a song about celebrity and the confusion it brings to her life. Rather trite and uninformative for those who know better, let’s hope its not a harbinger for her new album though. What was so engaging about her debut was the street savvy and sometimes witty observations within. Veteran Galway torch singer Mary Coughlan has been recording and performing for 25 years now, though the years haven’t dimmed her maverick ways. Coming on like an Irish Marianne Faithful stumbling through life’s hindrances, Coughlan’s tenth album, The House of Ill Repute is an at times captivating mix of covers (including a memorable take on Kirsty MacColl’s ‘Bad’) and original songs. Coughlan makes a formidable landlady at this house of troubled souls, though after a whole album the rambunctious performance begins to grate, leaving the listener with something of a hangover. Next up is German composer and pianist Haushka, signed to local heroes Fat Cat Records, and his new EP, Snowflakes and Car Wrecks. Subtly cinematic (more like intelligent indie cinema than Hollywood idiocy), twinkling, light-footed piano duets with galloping strings to build from intricate intimacy to jovial, exuberant brilliance. A quiet instrumental triumph, this is the antidote to identikit indie guitar band boredom. Last is the previously ‘lost’ second album from eighties US hardcore punks The Zero Boys, The History of The Zero Boys. Embracing fully the Boys’ heavyweight rock riffs and catchy pop sensibility, The History Of… marches on with track after track of anarchic, high energy pure punk heaven.
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to
www.thelatest.co.uk/7/chart Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10
★ 1 Jaybee – Miles To Go ★ 2 Thunk – Micromophone 3 Jaybee – Sweet Savage 4 Jonny Loves House – Care About Your Love 5 Frunt, Bak & Nutz – The Rites Of Wolf 6 Last Days of Lorca – Big Green Parcel Machine 7 129 Die! In Jet – Progression 8 Monsters Build Mean Robots – Chimes Breakthrough... 9 Pete Lambrou/Rhia Lock – To Silence Our Little Hearts 10 No Sharp Objects – Home Looks like the week belongs to electro-pop crooner Jaybee, with ‘Miles To Go’ at number one and the former number one ‘Sweet Savage’ at three. The funky Thunk drop to number two as house DJ Jonny Loves House moves up to four and Frunt, Bak and Nutz win the prize for silliest name. 11 Chaos Borne Watching 12 sMs I’m Sorry Dave 13 Mr Resonate All That I’m Not 14 Mr Resonate Say What You Mean 15 N-D-E Incredible Machine. 16 Breakinbear Breeze 17 R21 Proved You Wrong 18 The Mojo Fins Always Now 19 Tubba 3 Ply Gerhard 20 Chaos Borne The Moment 21 Glitters From Billy Holiday 22 Caramel Jack Curtain 23 Chrissy Fuel & The Flames The Motorway Song 24 Mr Resonate The Opposite vibe 25 Jaybee Miles To Go
26 Amongst The Pigeons Wings Wings Beat 27 The Long Goodbye For A Long Time 28 St.Michel Remedy 29 Kidda vs Beastie Boys Triple Trouble 30 Dear Jon. On Your Side 31 Villareal We Must Stop Meeting Like This 32 Caramel Jack We Could Build Skyscrapers 33 The Long Goodbye Changing The Guard 34 The Mystic Wizards The Vulture Song 35 Hatchdown Come Down Easy 36 Go Johnny Go Ebbenflow 37 Jamie Smith Wheels Upon Wheels 38 Guerrilla Audio Another Life 39 sMs Airport Dreaming 40 BangBangBang! This Way/ That Way
The Laughing Onion • Learn how to sew, knit, make your own clothes and accessories • One to one tuition from £6 an hour • Men, women and teenagers welcome • Comfortable, friendly home based setting • Bernina sewing machine, Janome over locker • Dressmaker’s dummies, pattern cutting tools, steam iron • Huge selection of sewing/ knitting patterns and inspirational images av. • Fabrics, trimmings and haberdashery can be purchased on site
Making clothes is rewarding, creative, fun and practical. For more info email: natallwood@btinternet.com or call: 01273 727044 28 latest 7
Jean-Jacques Jordane “Sings Paris” for small parties
8 to 24 people 3 courses £17.95
01273 696555
If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk
029_LS407_club/music_listings
1/16/09
11:38 AM
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MUSIC
For complete listings go to thelatest.co.uk/7
MUSIC& CLUBLISTINGS 20 – 26 Jan Tuesday 20 Live Music Cable Club Unsigned local bands showcase. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc. John Wheeler aka Barley Scotch Tongue-incheek night from the frontman of bluegrass covers band Hayseed Dixie. Komedia, 7:30pm, £10. Bars and clubs Audio Snide. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 Brighton Coalition Latin Fever.10pm–2am, free. Digital Glitterati. Student nite. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Funky Buddha Lounge We Luv 90s. Classic 90s anthems. 10:30pm, 90p. New Hero This Exists. Fresh music for cool kids! 10pm, £2. Pavilion Tavern Guerrilla Rocks. Indie, rock, metal and punk mash-up. 10:30pm–2am, £3/1 Po Na Na Sweet. Commercial R’n’B, Funky House and Baseline. 10pm–3am, £5/3 Tru Bandwagon. Student night with club anthems, R’n’B & house. 10pm–2:30am, £1–3 Water Margin Sessions. Run by students and playing for the students. 11pm–4am, £2/free.
Wednesday 21 Live Music Emma King & The Heartsets New country contemporary rock. Latest MusicBar. 8pm £5 Gimp Belgrade-based quartet play indie-rock tracks. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Hjaltalin Icelandic orchestral pop outfit. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £5 Open Mac Night Open mic night for electronic music. Sidewinder, 9pm, free. Open Mic Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free. Sebastian Tellier Rescheduled show, electropopette. Concorde 2, 8pm, £12.50–14.50. The Legendary Bee’s Mouth Open Mic. Bee’s Mouth, 8:30pm, free. Bars and clubs Arc Life is Easy. A mid-week interlude of indie classics, new and old. 10pm, £1/free. Audio Supercharged. Dubstep from ‘Cockney Thug’, Rusko. 10:30pm–2:30am, £5/3. Brighton Coalition Club NME. A beerfest for All Stars wearing rock/indie fans with live NME bands and Brighton DJs. 10:30pm–3:30am, free. Water Margin Forgive Me Father for I Have Synth’d. Electro, pop & rock. 11pm–3am, £tbc. Genetics Playing a mixture of intelligent, liquid, neuro and darkside D’n’B. 3am–6am, £2/free.
Thursday 22 Live Music Access to Music Live music showcase Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 7:30pm, £tbc. Anais Mitchell + Sharon Lewis Alternative acoustic indie. Latest MusicBar, 9pm, £7/5. Bill Prince Lewes debut for adventurous folk guitarist. Royal Oak (Lewes), 8pm, £5. Open Mic The Hub, Lewes Road, 8:30pm, free. Smokestack Blues and grooves from established act. Bee’s Mouth, 8pm, free. Sound Factory Stripped down acoustic David McAlmont
showcase. The Providence, 8pm, £1. Taxim: The Kypreos Band Traditional and original Greek music. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £8/6. Teddy Thompson Son of folk legends Richard & Linda Thompson. Concorde 2, 8pm, £11. The Diablos The Ranelagh, 8pm, free. Bars and clubs Audio Shameless. Trashy pop anthems and indie classics. 11pm, £2 Digital Thursday Club. With Jehst and support. 11pm, £TBA. Honey Club Contagious. Paul Hilyer plays house & dance anthems. 10:30pm–3am, £3/1. The Hope Brap FM. Downtempo to Techno! 8pm–2am, free. Ocean Rooms Therapy. Official UBSU Socfed night with Stick It On. 10:30pm–3am, £3 Po Na Na Secret Discotheque. Return to the 80s. 10pm–3am, £3/2
Friday 23 Live Music All That Remains + The Haunted Massachusetts Metalcore titans. Concorde 2, 7:30pm, £tbc. Battle of the Bands: Heat 3 The third round of this year’s competition. The Providence, 8pm, £1. Bomb The Music Industry Irreverent, eclectic garage electro-pop-rockers from the US. Recommended. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc. comm: UNITY Indoor festival blending trip-hop, hip-hop, afrobeat & reggae. Komedia, 8pm, £tbc. The Catfish Kings Rock’n’Roll Dance Party Chanelling Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Fats Domino and their ilk, featuring some of the town’s most seasoned R’N’B veterans. Upstairs at Latest MusicBar, 9pm, £7. David McAlmont Soulful vocalist & collaborator of Bernard Butler. De La Warr Pavilion, 8pm, £tbc. French Artist Showcase in association with Bureau Export and Les Inrocks. And it’s free! Brill. Duke of York’s Picturehouse, 11pm, free. Rock and Blues Night Special With Roger Adams on vocals. The Neptune, 8:30pm, free. Septembers Child + The Dead Airwaves Alternative rock. Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free. Bars and clubs 2 One One Lollipop. R’n’B and Hip Hop. 11pm–3am, free before 11.30pm Arc Some Kind of Wonderful. Sixties Floorfillers. 11pm–3am, £3 Audio Battlejam. Genre erasing, maverick turntablism. 11pm–4am, £TBC. Brighton Coalition Karaoke Rock Star. Scream out your fave rock trax with a full live backing band! 10pm–2am, free. Concorde 2 Freebass. All kindsa basses for all kindsa faces!11pm–4am, free! Digital Stonelove. 101% maximum indie Rock’n’Roll with DJ and bands. 11pm–3am, £4 Engine Rooms Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock alternative. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Funky Buddha Lounge Thank Funk It’s Friday. Party tunes. 10pm–3am, £8/free. Funky Fish The Funkyfish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £5/3.50 Hanbury Club Mojo to Go Go. Swinging 60s psychedelia, soul & garage. 7pm–2am, £5/4. Komedia Da Doo Ron Ron present Rhoda Dakar. 60s femme pop, soul sirens, and chicks with licks. 11pm, £5. New Hero Somewhere in the Universe… Leading alt electro dance party. 10pm, £5/3 Ocean Rooms 12FU. Alternative electro dance floor party. 11pm–4am, £5/3 Pavilion Tavern Kick Out The Jams. Rock’n’Roll mayhem, indie & punk. 10:30pm–3am, £5/3 Po Na Na Ice Box. Funky house night for a dressed up crowd. 10pm–3am, £5/4 Sidewinder Music is the Answer. With John Shepherd-Jones. 8pm–2am, free. Tru Skint. Playing mainstream funky house, R’n’B & disco. 10pm–2am, free b4 11/£3 after. Volks Autopsy. Darkside D’n’B. 11pm, £tba. Water Margin Twisted Disco Love. Love to funk. 11pm, £tbc. B-Side. Tech and filthy electro with Tiger Lily and Paul My Fingah. 2am, £5
➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory online for details
The Catfish Kings
Saturday 24 Live Music Drookit Dogs + Sukie + The Shoestrung Popular local folk-punks. Freebutt, 8pm, £4/3. Eatstatic + Nasti Moto + Blast DJs Techno veterans blending elements of D’n’B, ambient, breakbeat and garage into the mix. Concorde 2, 11pm, £12.50. Francoiz Breut Continuing the venue’s Gallic weekend with this sultry pop chanteuse. Duke of York’s Picturehouse, 11pm, £6–7. Ghoad Hard rock & metal originals and covers. Portland hotel and Rock Bar, 8pm, free. Messed Up Joey Rock/grunge/pop. Hare & Hounds, 9pm, free. Of Montreal + Casiokids Damned brilliant androgynous electro-pop-rock-funk madness from Athens, Georgia. Digital, 7pm, £12.50. Soul Casserole Latin jazz and funky soul. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 9pm, £4. Sound Factory: Salty Chips + The Lovely Blast + Burnt Toast Sandwich Alternative rock and punk night. The Providence, 8pm, £1. Supper Club: Tudo Bem Brazilian samba-funk band. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £7–10. The Hounds of Love Band Tribute to Kate Bush. The Old Market, 8pm, £16.50. The Magic Number Swing Emporium Everpopular Brighton gypsy swing collective. Komedia, 8pm, £8.50/6.50. We Got Soul: South Coast Revue soul night. Latest Music Bar, 9pm, £tbc. Bars and clubs Arc Hold Up. Unpretentious indie night. 10:30pm–4am, £5 Audio SoL’s Winter Sessions. The don of free parties brings some winter love with guest Shinichi Osawa. 10pm–4am, free. Brighton Coalition Smell The Horse. Banging electro beats, and crazy costumes with Vince Frimpong. 11pm–4am, £8/5. Concorde 2 Eatstatic. Tech/trance outfit Eatstatic have landed with support from Zubzub. 11pm–4am, £12.50. Digital De Putre Madre. 11pm–4am, £tbc. Engine Rooms Snake Eyed Mamas Club. Swamp Blues, Voodoo Bop, Surf, 50s R’n’B, Psychobilly and Rock’n’Roll. 11pm–3am, £5. Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Disco, funk, house and rare groove from Juice Fm’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10. Funky Fish The Funkyfish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £5/3.50 Honey Club Sevensins. Big room electro, trance and house with guests. 10:30pm–5am, £12/5 La Tropicale Houseworks. Quality house music from all over the world. 8pm–4am, free b4 11/£6 after. New Hero It Is Still 1985. An alternative 80s night full of outrageous tunes! 10pm, £3 Pavilion Tavern Drop Zone. Dark, heavy, glam, alternative dance and beer to dribble down you ‘til you drop! 10:30pm–3am, £4/2 Sidewinder Tape2Tape. Future Rock’n’Roll. 9pm–2am, free. Tru Glitterbaby. Thickly spreading your favourite
chart tunes across 3 rooms. 9pm–3am, £10/8. Water Margin Logo. Future heroes to world famous DJs spin house tunes til dawn. 3am–8am, £7/5.
Sunday 25 Live Music Acoustic Jam Session Friendly & fun nite hosted by local personalities. Portland Hotel and Rock Bar, 8pm, free. Alternative Music Night Jez Tonkin Brighton singer-songwriter. The Neptune, 8:30pm, £tbc. An Evening with Denny Laine The former Moody Blues and Wings man presents a night of music. The Old Market, 7pm, free. Doll and the Kicks Female-fronted indie rockers. Sidewinder, 8pm, free. Roast’n’Jazz With Sam Chara & Tom Phelan. Latest MusicBar Roasts served from 12.30pm until 3.30pm. £10 including lunch. Dear Jon Seven piece band-trumpet violin and double bass + Lost Bonobos comedy duo.Latest MusicBar 8pm. £4/£3. Sanctuary Sunday Open mic. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 7:30pm, free. Uzi & Ari San Francisco-based experimental indie-electronica six-piece. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £5 Bars and clubs Arc Irie. Ragga, R’n’B, Hip Hop and UK Garage. Sundays are the new Fridays! 10pm–3am, £5/3 Honey Club Sundelicious. Knockin’ siesta Sundays into the past, Lee Garrett and Salerno play house and soulful beats. 10pm–3am, £2/1 The Open House We Change The Frequency. All things diverse from Radiohead, Madlib, National Forest and Playgroup. 8pm, free.
Monday 26 Live Music Jackie Leven Country rock singer-songwriter. The Greys, 8pm, £tbc. Marlena Shaw Vocalist treading the line between jazz, soul, rock, pop and R’n’B. The Old Market, 7:30pm, £tbc. The Bee’s Mouth Jazz Forum A house band welcomes all comers and every performer gets some free booze! Bee’s Mouth, 8:30pm, free. Rough Trade Night with The Blueskies With recent performances at sell-out shows supporting the likes of Pendulum and Ratatat, the future for Brighton indie electro troupe, is looking very bright. Latest MusicBar 7.30pm til 12pm. £tbc. Bars and clubs Brighton Coalition Trash Mondays. Filthy student fun. 10:30pm–3am, free. Funky Buddha Lounge Urban Lounge. Best in Old skool garage, R’n’B, Hip Hop, Bashment and swing. 10:30pm–3am, £3/2 Honey Club Disco Babe. Disco and indie with drinks £1.50 all night. 10:30pm–2:30am, £3/1 Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys. Cocktail of funk, reggae, indie and pop. 10pm–2:30am, £3/1. Music by Nick Aldwinckle Clubs and Bars by Jaime Pettit latest 7 29
030_LS407 gay news
1/16/09
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LATESTGAY
Brighton’s only weekly gay guide NEWS
Write out A writing organisation set up to promote and mentor LGBT authors is planning an exciting year of events. Over the next 12 months Queer Writing South will invite established queer-identified writers from the UK and beyond to perform and get involved in Brighton’s literary scene. The group will work with communities, encouraging people to get writing and feel part of a growing creative movement. It will provide a platform for local writers to get their voices heard and published. The first event of 2009 will take place at Redroaster coffee house, St James’s Street, Brighton on Thursday, 5 February. It will celebrate the launch of I’ll Be Back Before You Know It, the new poetry collection by Maria Jastrzebska, published by Pighog Press. There will be poetry and songs from celebrated visiting poet Seni Seneviratne and readings from the Queer Writing South anthology Whoosh! The event is in partnership with local poetry promoters Poetry South. Jastrzebska was born in Warsaw, grew up in London
See more at thelatest.co.uk and lives in Brighton. Poet, editor, translator and tutor, her collections include Postcards from Poland, Home from Home and Syrena. She coedited Forum Polek, Poetry South and Whoosh!. Her performance piece Dementia Diaries will premiere at the Eastbourne Festival in the spring. Sudeep Sen, the award-winning poet and star of the 2007 PULSE Brighton Poetry Festival, said of Jastrzebska’s new collection: “The shadow and tenor of two tongues, cultures, histories and sexualities are deftly embedded in her poetry – as is her use of forms, both in her traditional couplets and prose poems.“ Seneviratne, who was born in Leeds to an English mother and Sri Lankan father, has been writing poetry since her early teens and was first published in 1989. Her poetry and prose is published in the UK, Denmark, Canada and South Africa. Her debut collection Wild Cinnamon and Winter Skin was published in March 2007 by Peepal Tree Press. She lives in Sheffield and is involved in Inscribe, the Northern Black Writers Development Programme, and is working on her second collection. Queer Writing South delivers writing workshops and queer-themed readings in the South East and provides professional advice and support for a community of local queer writers. It is supported by Awards for All, The South and Brighton and Hove Pride. Redroaster, St James’s Street, Brighton, Thurs, 5 Feb, 8pm. £5/4. Contact Nathan at QueerWritingSouth@gmail.com
Chorus join Poofs
Buff recruits
The popular Brighton and Hove (Actually) Gay Men’s Chorus will be joining Jonathan Ross’s resident band 4 Poofs and a Piano on stage in Brighton. The 4 Poofs are doing a national tour with their show ‘More Hairdressers than Barber Shop,’ with their reworking of everything from rap to punk to swing and hip hop. They will perform with BHAGMC at Theatre Royal Brighton on Sunday, 8 February. Chorus musical director Jason Pimblett said: ‘’The chorus had a wonderful Christmas concert and we are now looking forward to our exciting shows for 2009. It will be lovely to sing with the 4 Poofs and their piano at the Theatre Royal. It promises to be an enjoyable night out.’’ The chorus are about to start recording tracks for their first CD. This will include many songs popular with their fans and new exciting material as well. The 4 Poofs will be back on our TV screens when Friday Night with Jonathan Ross returns on Friday 23 January. More Hairdressers than a Barber Shop, Theatre Royal Brighton, Sunday 8 February. For tickets call 08700 606650.
Talent scouts will be in Brighton next week searching for good looking men willing to work in the nude. Butlers in the Buff, which describes itself as a “male order company“, will be roaming the streets on Tuesday and Wednesday, 27 and 28 January. Men aged 21 to 35 who catch their eye will be invited to attend
open auditions at Madame Geisha in East Street on Wednesday, 28 January from 7pm. Successful applicants will be paid more than £20 an hour to provide “exceptional service“ at events and parties while wearing little more than a small black apron. Visit www.butlersinthebuff.co.uk
Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 177 ACROSS: 1 Adversary 8 Tene 9 Barbarian 11 Despot 13 Peter 15 Adam 16 Vital 17 Crime 18 Ditch 19 Cast 20 Steal 22 Damsel 25 Kidnapper 26 Time 27 Sportsman. DOWN: 2 Dead 3 Emblem 4 Serve 5 Road 6 Perpetual 7 Ventilate 10 Nerve 12 Candidate 13 Pantomime 14 Reins 17 Cheek 19 Campus 21 Tenor 23 Limp 24 Vera. Solution to Quick 177 ACROSS: 1 Sculpture 8 Keep 9 Wonderful 11 Temple 13 Level 15 Hair 16 Acrid 17 Shoal 18 Chest 19 Brag 20 Essay 22 Lupine 25 Embarrass 26 Tool 27 Sternness. DOWN: 2 Crow 3 Ladder 4 Terse 5 Rout 6 Temporary 7 Appendage 10 Legal 12 Chocolate 13 Liverpool 14 Loose 17 Stone 19 Barren 21 Stair 23 Emit 24 Uses. © Crossword Shop
30 latest 7
If you have a story for Latest Gay pages please email news@thelatest.co.uk
031_LS407_gay listings
1/15/09
12:08 PM
Page 1
GAY
For full listings & venues go to thelatest.co.uk
GAYLISTINGS 20–26 January
Tuesday 20
Saturday 24
Amsterdam Skint or Mint. Gay Bingo. 8pm. Brighton Tavern Games Galore. Sticking it to maturity with a range of games. 12pm, free. Ghetto Twisted Karaoke. Nothin’ from your dad’s collection! Hosted by Mistress Cat. 9:30pm, free. Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday. Friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free. Marlborough Free poker night. Queen’s Arms Skint. Unlimited drinks wristbands for £10 plus a guest DJ and karaoke. A credit crunch gem. 8pm–11pm, free. R-Bar Shoot Me Baby! FREE shot of Corky’s or Sourz with every alcoholic bevvy! 12pm–2am. Revenge Playground. School Disco with a twist. Spinning trax from the 80s, 90s and 00s! 10:30pm–4am, £3 or free NUS/in uniform. The Aquarium Theatre Bar Josh Mills’s Music Night. With Uncle Ben’s quiz night from 9pm. Bar open 12pm, free. The Basement Scene Queen. New night for scene staff and students with DJ Lil’ Alex. 11pm–4am, free.
Amsterdam Sun Downers. Enjoy the best beach house music in Brighton. 8pm–2am, free. Charles Street Club Electronic Disco. Funky, disco infused house music.11pm–3am, £free! Ghetto Wigout. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. 10pm, free b4 11. Legends Pre-Ignition. Dance sounds from 7pm. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Marly DJs. Guest DJs and live music. 9pm–2am, free. Queen’s Arms Karaoke Party with Kamp Kevin. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3:30–5:30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin. Bar open 12pm–12:30am, free. R-Bar Kinky Baby. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous from 9pm with Dulcie Danger. Bar Open 12pm–7am, free. Revenge Kinky Dangerous. 4 top DJs, 2 floors, and 5.5 hours of fun. 10:30pm–4am, £7/3. Star Inn Bear Essentials. DJ Charlie. Bar open 12pm–1am, free. The Basement Ignition. With the funky house and chart remix sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free all night! The PV at The Jury’s Out Saturday Madness. The best in Brighton duets from 4:30pm, then PV’s house DJs take over! Bar open 12pm, free.
Wednesday 21 Ghetto Transition. DJ Peter Von Sleaze spins, rock, metal and 80’s tastic cheese with a sprinkling of goth! 10pm–2am, £2.50. Legends Super Karaoke. New karaoke & quiz night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre YouTube Night. 8pm, free. Prince Regent Swimming Pool Out To Swim South. 8:30pm, £4 per session, £20 annual pass. R-Bar Rush99. DJ Lil Alex spins on the decks plus a 99p rush bar! 12pm–2am, free. Revenge Rush150. Commercial dance and house sounds served up by DJ Lil’ Alex plus a rush bar! 10:30pm–3am, free before 12am/£2 after/free NUS. Star Inn Charity Jukebox. Bar 12pm–11pm. The Basement Play. With DJ Alex Baker spinning all things house. 11pm–4am, free.
Sunday 25 Amsterdam Sunday Lunch. Traditional roasts (12–5:30pm) and relaxing sunday vibes with a cabaret twist from 8pm, free. Charles Street Bar Showtime. Another cabaret superstar takes to the stage. 7:15pm, free. Ghetto FTPA. Essential Electro. 9pm, free b4 11. Legends Sunday Cabaret and Chill Out. With Mandy Gap. 3:15pm, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Yummy Roasts. Dishing up delicious roast and spuds 'til they're gone! 12pm, free. Karen Noble
latest
musicbar
Thursday 22 Charles Street Bar Mad Cow. Cheap as Primark Pants. 8pm–11pm, £1. Charles Street Club Religion. Two floors of funky house. Hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with Tony B and Mikalis. 10pm–3am, £4/3 Ghetto Tits Up. 80s and 90s pop served up by Kitty and Tom. 10pm, free. Legends Thursday Cabaret Lounge. Jo Frances graces the stage. 9:30pm, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Open Mic. 8pm. Queen’s Arms Skint. See Tuesday. R-Bar I Can’t Wait For The Weekend To Begin!. Funked up, soulful and uplifting house from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free. Revenge Girls on Top. Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes. 10:30pm–4am, free b4 11:30 with passes, £4/5 after. The Basement Box. Chart hit remixes, funky house and dance anthems. 11pm–4am, free.
Friday 23 Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies dished. Bar open 11am. Charles Street Club Curiosity Lite. Pure unadulterated trashy disco pop, 10:30pm–3am, £5/4/3 NUS. Ghetto Popstarz. Playin’ indie recent and retro! 10pm, free b4 11. Legends Pre-Celebration. Pure Pop. 7pm, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Girls’ Night. 2 floors of mayhem with guest DJs. 9pm–2am. Queen’s Arms Stars. Definitive handbag, commercial and camp tunes. 9pm–2am, free. R-Bar The GirlsOnTop Bar. DJ Smiffy hauls her best in trash, pop and party tunes from Girls on Top to R-Bar. 12pm–2am. Revenge Lollipop Super Heroes Party. Men in spandex and PVC-Clad heroines dance to a soundtrack of pop tunes and funky house. 10:30pm–5am, £7/5. The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Alex Baker plays girly pop & handbag tracks all night long. 11pm–4am, free all night!
The Catfish Kings
Queen's Arms Karen Noble – QA Exclusive. Karen Noble does everything from Celine Dion to Tina Turner. 12pm–3am, free. The Basement Embrace. Dripping in charty tracks provided by DJ Nick Shepherdson from G-A-Y! 11pm–4am, free.
Monday 26 Amsterdam The Monday Musical. Bar open 11am, free. Charles Street Club Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin the best party tracks with mammoth drinks promos. 10pm–2am, £1.50. Ghetto (Formerly Candy Bar) Shibby Shabblers. DJs Pookie and Crackwhore. £1.50 pints and vodka mix. 9pm–2am, £tbc. Legends Dave Lynn and Friends. A hysterical night of cabaret, 9:30pm. Bar open 11pm–5am. Marlborough Trans night. 8pm, free R-Bar Miss Jason's Mad House. Cabaret night plus a Wii Zone and free pool! 10pm, free. The Basement Back to the 80s and 90s. Nostalgic Floorfillers with Steve Lush. 11pm–4am, free.
➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory online for details
Rock’n’Roll Dance Party Friday 23 January 8pm £7 show starts 9pm
14 – 17 Manchester Street Brighton
01273 687171
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar latest 7 31
032_LS407_TVIntro
1/16/09
3:54 PM
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latestTV Dani on TV
She says it how she sees it
Fat boy slim? Part of Channel 4’s Body Shock series, this Half Ton Son followed the world’s heaviest teenager, Billy, who weighed in at 60 stone. During this programme the cameras let us see everyday life leading up to Billy having an operation to try and aid his weight loss, the aim being to eventually get down to 14 stone. He rarely left the house and spent all day sitting or laying about, and it was clear from the very beginning that his mother was partially or mostly to blame for his obesity. When he was a child she encouraged his want for junk food, feeding him almost to death with a mother’s love. It may sound harsh but I had a hard time finding any sympathy for Billy, opting for the ‘easy’ option in the way of surgery but steadfastly refusing to eat any form of fruit or vegetable. The mother may have had control over what he ate when he was younger but not now that he is 19. He spends all day in a horizontal position watching TV; he may have some kind of idea that movement and healthy food can aid weight loss, but instead he requests and happily consumes every kind of junk food you can imagine. His mother even washes every inch of his body – he cannot or will not even move his arms about to try and wash himself slightly. And did anyone see, at the very beginning of the programme, after the mother had finished washing her son she picked up the bucket of soapy water and sniffed it! It turns out that Billy’s mother had a child before Billy that died at 19 months old. She overcompensated for one loss by over caring for her second child. Never wanting him to want for anything she stuffed his face full of his requests for two Big Macs at a time. The first section of the series of operations Billy has to have is to cut away five stones’ worth of stomach. That made me feel slightly sick, seeing as I only weigh a couple of stones more than that. And if that wasn’t bad enough the mother’s over-the-top reaction to her son doing anything at all – having just been washed, by someone else, the mother remarks that he looks like a newborn baby! If newborn babies look like that there is no way anyone in the world would be having children! The son may want to have surgery, but the mother needs some serious counselling. The doctor performing the operation has been on a TV programme before, one in which an obese woman had a operation to reduce her weight. She died. And throughout this programme it is a serious possibility for Billy. This was an interesting watch, as the main issue soon became clear: the mother. It turns from a show about a boy losing weight into a show about a mother sabotaging her son’s last chance at life. The big question is whether or not she realises she is doing it and whether Billy will be strong enough to break free from his mother. The mother has created a Frankenstein’s monster, to replace her dead son she created another who is totally and completely dependent on her: that way, she will never lose another child.
Films on TV
Top tips for your week of flicks
TUESDAY 20 Freaky Friday ★★★✩✩ (1977, Film4, 7.05pm. Dir Gary Nelson) The original body-swap comedy, starring a very young Jodie Foster as the kid who wishes she could live her mother’s life at the exact moment her mum wants to be young again. A successful 70s Disney comedy with the same madcap air as Herbie’s debut The Love Bug. Fun for all.
WEDNESDAY 21 War Of The Worlds ★★★★✩ (2005, BBC3, 9pm. Dir Steven Spielberg) Spielberg’s epic takes the big news of an alien invasion and tells an individual family’s story of it, without any of the nationalistic histrionics. This makes it a tale of human relations under stress rather than a traditional goodies versus baddies allout action fest, and benefits from it. Starring Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning and Tim Robbins.
Saturday 24 Elizabeth ★★★★✩ (1998, Channel 4, 9pm. Dir Shekhar Kapu) Starring Cate Blanchett. Brilliant Oscar-nominated period drama. Elizabeth acquires the skills to endure war abroad and corruption at home. Yet she soon learns that there can be no normal life for a queen and determines that she will allow no man to be her ruler.
Sex, Lies and Videotape
THURSDAY 22 Wyatt Earp ★★✩✩✩ (1994, Five, 9pm. Dir Lawrence Kasdan) Back when Kevin Costner was still a hot box office property he led this cowboy biopic of a legend of the West. Also starring Dennis Quaid as Doc Holliday and Gene Hackman as Pa Earp, it’s really only for fans of the genre – although it did pick up accolades for the cinematography.
FRIDAY 23 Fame ★★★★✩ (1980, TCM, 11.05pm. Dir Alan Parker) Based on a real New York dramatic arts public school, this documents from audition to graduation several students’ stories. Fame-hungry kids, a touching tale with cracking tunes and a very talented cast provide a class movie, plus a touching portrayal showing the rawness of fragile egos.
The Hand That Rocks The Cradle ★★★★✩ (1992, ITV1, 11.35pm. Dir Curtis Hanson) The film that did more to scare off potential nanny-employers than any Swedish nymphet au pair urban legends. Rebecca De Mornay is the home help, helping the home to selfdestruct by usurping new mum Annabella Sciorra and encouraging that whole paranoia myth on her that worked so well for Damien in The Omen. But she’s so nice!
32 latest 7
20 – 26 Jan
★★★✩✩ (1989, Sky Movies Indie, 10pm. Dir Steven Soderbergh) Well-crafted little gem about adultery, sexual perversion, and the value of honesty with oneself. It’s the story of a minimalist anti-yuppi, who goes back to his home town and stays with his friend who has become a lawyer and his eccentric but conservative wife. They are all soon having affairs and confessing all on video.
SUNDAY 25 Good Night and Good Luck
★★★✩✩ (2005, BBC2, 10.30pm. Dir George Clooney) Stylish drama set in 1950s America as a television news reporter seeks to expose the hypocrisy of Senator Joseph McCarthy, whose declarations that the country was overrun with Soviet spies led to an anti-socialist witch hunt.
MONDAY 26 Bloody Sunday
★★★★✩ (2002, ITV1, 10.35pm. Dir Paul Greengrass) Starring James Nesbitt. The story of the events of 30 January 1972, when British soldiers shot dead 13 unarmed civilians taking part in a civil rights march in Derry. The film follows the soldiers and the police, as well as civilians from both sides of the sectarian divide.
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tuesday 20 Obama: His Story BBC2, 7pm His first day on the new job and already everybody wants to know his business. Here’s a head start for those who haven’t gotten around to reading any of his bestselling autobiographies yet. BBC correspondent Clive Myrie follows the new Big Man from a broken home in Hawaii through to his arrival in DC ready to rock.
The Culture Show BBC2, 10pm It’s jam-packed tonight. There’s an interview with mob film Gomorrah author Roberto Saviano, a special masterclass on creating cult TV from Ed Burns, co-writer of The Wire, backstage reporting from Armando Iannuci, plus coverage of Obama’s inauguration from 125th Street Harlem. Brilliant.
Come Dine With Me More 4, 9pm The foodie and entertaining competition gets bitchier with each series, and more fun to watch. Tonight’s crew of sizzlers and snipers are in Berkshire, and include Belgian-born Fred who reckons Brits can’t cook. Should be onto a winner then. But Justin Timberlike lookalike Tony has something to say about that. True.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 LazyTown 3.30 Scoop 4.00 President Obama: The Inauguration
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Nuzzle And Scratch 9.20 Harry And Toto 9.30 Nina And The Neurons 9.45 Me Too! 10.10 Mister Maker 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Seasonal Snapshots 11.20 Thinking Skills 11.30 Hands Up! 11.45 Look And Read 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Trash To Cash 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Rural Crafts 4.00 Frankenstein’s Cat 4.10 Hotel Trubble 4.35 Blue Peter 5.05 Newsround 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show with questions and answers. Revolutionary. 6.30 Extreme Dreams: The Ultimate Challenge The team must chart a course through the unexplored rainforest in a quest to reach sacred Incan inscriptions known as the Petroglyphs of Pusharo. Eat your heart out Tin Tin. 7.00 Obama: His Story See highlights. 8.00 Oz And James Drink To Britain The duo head to Scotland, where they receive a blindfolded seminar in the Scottish national drink from a whisky expert. Cheers! 8.30 MasterChef John Torode and Gregg Wallace are looking for the country’s next star chef. Your mum. 9.00 Nicholas Crane’s Britannia: The Great Elizabethan Journey In the last leg of his epic 5,000 mile journey across the pages of William Camden’s masterpiece, Britannia, Nicholas traverses Ireland, the country that sent a shudder down the spines of Elizabethans. 10.00 The Culture Show See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight 11.40 President Hollywood How 2008’s dramatic race for the White House was run before on ‘The West Wing’. Art and truth, eh? 12.40am BBC News BBC 4.00 Key Stage 4 Curriculum Bites
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.00am Inuk 6.15 Celebrity Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.15 Celebrity Big Brother: Eviction 8.15 Celebrity Big Brother: Eviction 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Teen Tycoons 10.00 Vocation, Vocation, Vocation 10.30 My Crazy Life 11.05 Speed Machines 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Burgh Island: Checking Into History 12.45 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.50 FILM: Guns Of Fort Petticoat (1957) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Mercedes goes for an interview at Evissa but is annoyed by Carmel’s questions. Yeah, your sister should already know you’re a mardy cow, Mercy. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny Underweight working mum Gillian and overeating nurse Philippa enter the feeding clinic. Here comes the aeroplane... open wide. 9.00 Big Chef Takes On Little Chef Heston Blumenthal takes on the challenge of attempting to turn around the fortunes of troubled restaurant chain Little Chef. Management gives the thumbs up to Heston’s new menu including lamb shank and chicken tikka masala – but then they drop a bombshell. 10.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights from the BB house. 11.05 The Big Bang Theory Comedy. Penny opens up to a reluctant Sheldon after a less-thanstellar first date with Leonard. 11.40 My Name Is Earl After falsely confessing to Joy’s crime, Earl begins his prison sentence. 12.10am 4 Music: Coldplay: Video Exclusive 12.15 Party Poker: Premier League Poker 1.10 Celebrity Big Brother: Live 4.00 Alice Through The Looking Glass 5.25 Making It 5.30 A Giant In Ancient Egypt 5.50 Making It
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Pocoyo 8.45 Chiro 8.50 Big School 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.00pm House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.05 FILM: Greenmail (2001) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Big League Weekend 10.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 11.30 Wild Spirits 12.00pm H2O Sports International 12.30 Big League Weekend 2.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.00 High Five 3.30 Big League Weekend 5.00 NFL: America’s Game 6.00 Football Asia 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 LIVE Carling Cup Football 10.15 Revista De La Liga 11.15 Hyundai A League 12.15am Carling Cup Football 1.45 Revista De La Liga 2.45 Sky Sports Classics 3.00 Through The Night
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Jack takes pity on Max. Knock him to the gutter and then throw him tuppence. So kind. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Holby City Linden struggles with his conscience over his longing for Faye, and Joseph thinks Jac may be pregnant when he finds a pregnancy testing kit. And you thought those shenanigans ended when they stopped being medical students. Pah! 9.00 Stabbed: The Truth About Knife Crime Documentary looking at Britain’s knife crime epidemic, with the police, local councils and relatives of teenagers who have been stabbed to death. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Bust Documentary following families struggling to cope with personal debts as the credit crunch unfolds. Raiding the penny jar. 11.35 FILM: Wonder Boys (2000) Starring Michael Douglas, Tobey Maguire, Frances McDormand. Comic drama about a professor suffering from writer’s block. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.55 Lark Rise To Candleford 2.55 Around The World In 80 Faiths 3.55 Joins BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale An angry Eli discovers that Debbie and Jasmine are more than just friends. What – again?! 8.00 Trinny And Susannah Meet Their Match The pair meet two extreme dog lovers and first adopt, then shake up their wardrobes. 9.00 Too Posh To Pay A revealing look at how Britain’s so-called middle classes are responsible for a massive crime wave that is costing the country billions of pounds each year. Excuse me, would one mind putting one’s hands up? Most obliged. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show More anarchic fun with the inimitable Katy Brand. While Lily Allen turns her hand to comedy, Capt Rosie takes a look at festivals in ‘Privates Out’. 11.05 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Harry delves into the archives for a third helping of memorable clips. 11.35 No Heroics Sitcom about a group of four superhero friends. Sarah is given a sidekick with behavioural problems by the Super Powers Authority as part of her probation. 12.05am Crossing Jordan 12.50 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.40 Loose Women 2.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 Home And Away Melody lends her services to Mathew. 6.30 Zoo Days New arrival Century the giraffe faces his biggest challenge yet when he comes face to face with Colchester’s rhinos. You lookin’ at me? You lookin’ at me?! 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Jaguar Adventure With Nigel Marven Nigel and the team finally obtain the footage they have been seeking, with three jaguar encounters in 24 hours. Woo-hoo! 8.00 Secrets Of Egypt: Rameses Charting the life of Rameses II, the longest-lived pharaoh who is widely regarded as Egypt’s greatest ruler. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Grissom hunts down the killer of a guidance counsellor. 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation The disappearance of a casino employee leads the police to uncover a UFO cult that believes reptilian aliens are taking over the world. Bloody geckos and their detachable tails. 11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit When an elderly woman with Alzheimer’s breaks into an apartment, detectives discover that she has been mistreated. 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 NFL Playoffs 2.30 USPGA Golf 3.20 Motorsport Mundial 3.45 Race And Rally UK 4.05 AMA Supercross 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 Powder Adventures 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 Poker 12.00pm Wendy’s Champions Skins 2009 3.00 Poker 5.00 High Five 5.30 H2O Sports International 6.00 Powder Adventures 6.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 7.00 Athletics 8.00 Squash 9.00 Squash 10.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 11.00 Athletics 12.00am Sports Unlimited 1.00 Mountain Bike World 1.30 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 2.30 Carling Cup Football 4.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under
Sky Sports 3 6.45am What’s On 7.00 Wendy’s Champions Skins 2009 10.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Fishing: Bass Fishing 1.00 Powder Adventures 1.30 Wild Spirits 2.00 America’s Game 3.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 4.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Sports Unlimited 8.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 9.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 9.30 Mountain Bike World 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 12.00am Cycling: Tour Down Under 12.30 Squash 1.30 Squash 2.30 Athletics
Victoria Nangle
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BBC4
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Living
2.00pm Lost 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Best Of Stargate Atlantis 9.00 Battlestar Galactica 10.00 Miami SWAT 11.00 Ross Kemp In Afghanistan 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Street Wars 1.50 Mile High
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The Undercover Princes 9.00 Outtakes: US Presidents 9.30 Little Britain 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Grownups 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 The Undercover Princes 12.45am Outtakes: US Presidents 1.15 Grownups 1.45 The Wrong Door: Best Bits
7.00pm News 7.30 Science And Islam 8.30 The House Of Chanel 9.00 The High Life 9.30 Early Doors 10.00 Cowards 10.30 Mad Men 11.15 Beau Brummell - This Charming Man 12.35am Cowards 1.05 Science And Islam 2.05 The House Of Chanel 2.35 Cowards 3.05 Beau Brummell - This Charming Man
12.00pm Coronation Street (x2) 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 BRITs 2009: The Launch Party 9.00 FILM: X2 (2003) 11.35 FILM: American Pie: The Wedding (2003) 1.25am Teleshopping
11.20am Rising Damp 11.55 Jeeves And Wooster 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 10.00 Prime Suspect 5 12.15am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.05 Maigret
2.55pm Celebrity Big Brother Live 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 The Class 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 10.00 Reaper 11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.35 Celebrity Big Brother Live
4.05pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Come Dine With Me. See highlights.5 10.00 True Stories: A President To Remember 11.55 Come Dine With Me 1.00am True Stories
12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 In Bed With Yvette And Karl 9.00 New Most Haunted 10.00 Ghost Whisperer 11.00 CSI 12.00am Will And Grace (x2) 1.00 Charmed
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Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
5.00pm Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 5.40 Keeping Up Appearances 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 One Foot In The Grave 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 The Royle Family (x2) 10.20 Absolutely Fabulous 11.00 The Thin Blue Line 11.40 Men Behaving Badly 12.20am The Royle Family
1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 South Park 9.30 Scrubs 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x3) 12.40 Frasier (x2) 1.40 Angelo’s
1.00pm Forensic Detectives 2.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Survivorman 10.00 Alaska’s Great Race 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)
12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: Nature Unleashed: Avalanche (2004) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Flash Gordon 7.00 Angel 8.00 FILM: Magma: Volcanic Disaster (2006) 9.40 FILM: Black Dawn (2005) 11.30 FILM: Deadly Water (2006) 1.10am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2)
10.15am Holiday Inn (1942) 12.00pm White Savage (1943) 1.30 Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 3.10 Hail The Conquering Hero (1944) 4.55 The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) 7.00 Rear Window (1954) 9.00 Arabesque (1966) 10.50 Holiday Inn (1942) 12.35am White Savage (1943)
11.00am Bottle Rocket (1996) 12.35pm Mo’ Better Blues (1990) 2.50 The Walker (2007) 4.50 Love Me If You Dare (2003) 6.30 Remnants Of Everest: The 1996 Tragedy (2007) 8.25 Bottle Rocket (1996) 10.00 Mo’ Better Blues (1990) 12.15am Do The Right Thing (1989)
1.00pm Highly Dangerous (1950) 2.40 Penny Serenade (1941) 5.00 An American Guerrilla In The Philippines (1950) 7.05 Freaky Friday (1977) 9.00 The Omen (2006) Horror remake starring Leiv Schreiber and Julia Stiles. 11.05 Lady Vengeance (2005) 1.25am I’m Not Scared (2003)
7.40am Skyjacked (1972) 9.20 Promise Her Anything (1966) 11.10 The Maltese Falcon (1941) 1.00pm Welcome To Hard Times (1967) 3.00 The Glass Bottom Boat (1966) 5.05 Meet Me In St Louis (1944) 7.10 Key Largo (1948) 9.00 Running On Empty (1988) 11.20 Shaft (1971) 1.15am Running On Empty (1988)
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wednesday 21 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction Channel 4, 8pm & 10pm Time for the battering of the egos. Not one, but two – count ‘em – live evictions tonight from the Celebrity Big Brother house. Who will cry? Who has the most ridiculous eviction outfit? Who will set up camp in the ashtray and refuse to come out again? Glut yourself with CBB action.
QI BBC2, 10pm The delightful Stephen Fry hosts an evening of banter and silliness in this informative – in a random manner – comedy quiz show. Joining regular panelist Alan Davies are West Country comic poetess Pam Ayres, teaconnoisseur Johnny Vegas and 8 Out Of 10 Cats regular Sean Lock. Scintillating stuff.
Demons ITV2, 8pm If you missed this Brit Buffy rip-off (chosen one, patriarchal foreigner guide, neglect of schoolwork – all check) then have a giggle and a catch-up tonight. Man with a plan loses his way a bit tonight as he steps away from the patriarchal role and more towards the man on a vengeance quest. Messy.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 LazyTown 3.29 The Owl 3.30 Scoop 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Gastronuts 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 MySay 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 8.30 Pinky Dinky Doo 8.45 LazyTown Extra 9.00 Nuzzle And Scratch 9.20 Harry And Toto 9.30 Nina And The Neurons 9.45 Me Too! 10.10 Mister Maker 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Wildlife On Two 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Lifeline 2.10 World Indoor Bowls Championships 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.00pm House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.05 FILM: Primal Secrets (1994) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Carling Cup Football 10.30 Revista De La Liga 11.30 Hyundai A League 12.00pm Carling Cup Football 1.30 Revista De La Liga 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 Hyundai A League 3.30 Carling Cup Football 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 Hyundai A League 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 LIVE Carling Cup Football 10.00 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 12.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 Carling Cup Football 2.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.30 European Tour Weekly 3.00 Through The Night
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out 8.00 Waterloo Road Drama series set in a secondary school. Davina and Tom have the day from hell when Davina is accused of racism by a colleague and Tom is pushed to breaking point by a pupil. That’s just past Devil’s Dyke but before you get to Ikea. 9.00 The Secret Life Of Elephants Documentary series revealing the emotional and dramatic lives of elephants in Kenya’s Samburu reserve. Baby elephant Breeze is growing up fast, but as the dry season approaches she must face her biggest test yet. Maths A-level. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 The National Lottery Draws 10.45 Movie Connections Documentary series about the development of some of Britain’s biggest movies. Sliding Doors. 11.25 FILM: Tai-Pan (1986) Starring Bryan Brown, Joan Chen. Epic drama set in the 19th century about the adventures of a Scottish trade baron in the Far East. 1.25am Weatherview 1.30 Sign Zone: The Secret Life Of Elephants 2.30 Hunter 3.30 Natural World 4.20 Joins BBC
6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the show where every day a new team of challengers take on probably the greatest quiz team in Britain. No lager affiliations in this statement. 6.30 Extreme Dreams: The Ultimate Challenge Ben Fogle leads a team of deserving heroes through the uncharted Peruvian jungle. 7.00 The Real Sir Alan Fiona Bruce tells the story of the boy who started out selling beetroot in the East End of London and went on to build a fortune, estimated to be £800 million. 8.00 It’s Not Easy Being Green Jon Kay gets to the bottom of our confusion over plastic recycling. 8.30 MasterChef John Torode and Gregg Wallace are looking for the country’s next star chef. Is it Waldo? 9.00 The City Uncovered With Evan Davis In the second of his series on modern finance, Evan Davis heads into the world of the City’s risk professionals – the derivatives whizzkids, and hedge fund managers. 10.00 QI See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Sex, The City And Me Fastpaced and powerful drama. Jess, a high-flying banker, is sidelined in her job by her Machiavellian boss when she returns to work after having a baby. She decides to sue the bank and ends up risking everything. 12.50am Bowls Extra 2.50 BBC News BBC 4.00 Class Clips
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale A vengeful Eli tells Marlon that Donna has been visiting Ross. There’s Dingle-love for you. 7.30 Coronation Street Chesney arranges a date for a heart-broken Fiz. Glad he’s back and in the thick of things again. Yay! 8.00 The Bill After Alistair Ransome, a 17-year-old athlete, is found beaten to death, Simon Thorn and his girlfriend Katie Fielding are the prime suspects - but hard evidence is needed. Dang that due process! 9.00 Stockwell Gripping factual drama telling the story of the fatal shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes in July 2005. The Brazilian electrician was killed in Stockwell station after police mistook him for failed suicide bomber Hussain Osman. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Superhuman: Genius A documentary looking at the phenomenon of amazingly gifted people in music, science and the arts, including child prodigies with jaw-dropping talents. Is their genius nature or nurture? 11.35 Carling Cup Highlights . 12.35am Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Emergency 1.25 Loose Women 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.10 Fighting Repossession: Tonight 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Celebrity Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Celebrity Big Brother 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Teen Tycoons 10.00 Vocation, Vocation, Vocation 10.30 My Crazy Life 11.05 Speed Machines 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Supporting Acts 12.50 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.50 FILM: Sea Wife (1957) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Mercedes has a plan to save herself and Malachy from unemployment and homelessness. Is it cunning and wiley? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction See highlights. 9.00 Big Chef Takes On Little Chef Heston Blumenthal takes on the challenge of attempting to turn around the fortunes of the troubled restaurant chain. Little Chef is a British institution, with 180 roadside outlets all over the country. But the company has been experiencing difficulties and in 2007 it had to be saved from financial collapse. Will it fare better in 2009? 10.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live Eviction See highlights. 10.50 Dave Gorman In America Unchained BAFTA award-winning writer and broadcaster Dave Gorman attempts to cross America by car without spending any money in corporate chains. It is easier said than done and a journey that was meant to take three or four weeks becomes an eight-week odyssey taking in 18 states as Dave’s adventure unravels. McUnhappy. 12.25am T-Mobile Transmission 1.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live 3.50 FILM: The Bigamist (1953) 5.15 Countdown
6.00 Home And Away Martha returns from her retreat. Does that make this an attack? 6.30 Zoo Days Senior keeper Richard attempts an unusual experiment involving a melon, a tea bag and eight million ants. This is his job. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Extraordinary Animals Doc series profiling remarkable animals from across the globe. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers A huge storm hits the Arctic coast, forcing authorities to close the ice road. As the drivers hurry to reach safety, Alex risks being caught in a white-out. 9.00 FILM: The Contractor (2007) Starring Wesley Snipes, Eliza Bennett, Lena Headey, Ralph Brown and Charles Dance. Action thriller in which a former CIA marksman is coaxed back in to service to assassinate a terrorist in London. Unfortunately, the ex-agent is framed for murder and is forced to go on the run. An unlikely alliance with a 12-year-old girl may be the only way to clear his name and gain revenge over his enemies. Phew! 11.05 Warzone Documentary series following the lives of British servicemen and women at Kandahar Airbase in Afghanistan. 12.05am Poker 1.35 NHL Ice Hockey 4.20 A1 Grand Prix 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE 8.00 Football Asia 8.30 Hyundai A League 9.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 9.30 Mountain Bike World 10.00 Athletics 11.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 12.00pm Pool: World Cup Of Pool 1.00 British Carp Angling Championships 2.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 3.00 Squash 4.00 Squash 5.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 6.00 Licence To Le Mans 6.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 Tenpin Bowling 9.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 9.30 European Tour Weekly 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am Fishing: Thinking Tackle 1.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 2.00 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 4.00 Licence To Le Mans 4.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under
Sky Sports 3 9.00am Squash 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Powder Adventures 1.30 Mountain Bike World 2.00 NFL 3.00 Athletics 4.00 Sports Unlimited 5.00 WWE 7.00 Watersports World 8.00 European Tour Weekly 8.30 Sailing 9.00 Weston Beach Race 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 Tenpin Bowling 12.00am Cycling: Tour Down Under 12.30 Max Power 1.30 European Tour Weekly Victoria Nangle
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1.00pm Family Court: Judge Penny (x2) 2.00 Lost 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A TenYear-Old? 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Project Runway 9.00 FILM: Wild Wild West (1999) 11.05 Ross Kemp In Afghanistan 12.05am Road Wars 1.05 Street Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Outtakes: US Presidents 8.30 The Real Hustle: High Stakes 9.00 FILM: War Of The Worlds (2005) 10.50 Family Guy (x2) 11.40 Outtakes: US Presidents 12.10am The Undercover Princes 1.05 The Real Hustle: High Stakes
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Ready To Wear 8.00 Savile Row 9.00 The Secret World Of Haute Couture 10.00 Style On Trial 11.00 Fashion Victim - The Killing Of Gianni Versace 12.15am The Secret World Of Haute Couture 1.15 Savile Row 2.15 Style On Trial 3.15 Fashion Victim - The Killing Of Gianni Versace
1.00pm Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Demons. See highlights. 9.00 Gossip Girl 10.00 FILM: 40 Days And 40 Nights (2002) 12.00am Coronation Street 12.30FILM: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)
11.00am Inspector Morse 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Forensic Casebook With Matthew Kelly (x2) 10.00 Cold Blood 11.35 Numb3rs 12.35am Inspector Morse
2.10pm Celebrity Big Brother 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 The Class 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 90210: That Was Then, This Is Now 10.00 Bring Back... Grange Hill 11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.35 Celebrity Big Brother
4.05pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Bremner, Bird And Fortune 10.00 Father Ted 10.30 The IT Crowd 11.05 TV Heaven, Telly Hell (x2) 12.05am The Secret Millionaire 1.10 Father Ted 1.45 The IT Crowd
12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Grey’s Anatomy 9.00 Jade 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Will And Grace (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Private Practice
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5.40pm Keeping Up Appearances 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 One Foot In The Grave 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 The Royle Family (x2) 10.20 Absolutely Fabulous 11.00 The Thin Blue Line 11.40 Men Behaving Badly 12.20am The Royle Family (x2) 1.40 Absolutely Fabulous
1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x4) 1.10 Frasier (x2) 2.10 Angelo’s 2.40 Sexy Cam
2.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Survivorman 9.00 Solved 10.00 The World’s Deadliest Gangs (x2) 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)
1.00pm Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: Magma: Volcanic Disaster (2006) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Flash Gordon 7.00 Angel 8.00 FILM: The Loch Ness Terror (2007) 9.50 FILM: Supergator (2007) 11.40 FILM: Emmanuelle In Space: A Lesson In Love (1994) 1.40am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2)
1.45pm The Great McGinty (1940) 3.15 The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938) 5.00 The War Lord (1965) 7.05 The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 9.00 Lover Come Back (1961) 10.50 I’ll Never Forget What’s ‘is Name (1969) 12.30am The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938)
1.15pm Whatever Happened To Harold Smith? (1999) 2.55 Days Of Glory (2005) 5.05 Letters From Iwo Jima (2006) 7.30 The Movie Geek 8.00 Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) 10.00 Whatever Happened To Harold Smith? (1999) 11.40 The Movie Geek 12.10am Jindabyne (2006) 2.25 Hana-Bi (1997)
1.00pm The Fly (1958) 2.50 Dragonwyck (1946) 4.55 That Riviera Touch (1966) 6.50 Young Sherlock Holmes (1985) 9.00 Cutthroat Island (1995) Geena Davis dons the three-cornered hat as a pirate queen in this action adventure. 11.20 The Long Day Closes (1992) 1.00am The Ice Storm (1997)
7.00am Ride Him Cowboy (1932) 8.05 Quo Vadis? (1951) 11.05 The Singing Nun (1966) 1.00pm Mrs Soffel (1984) 3.00 Arsenic And Old Lace (1944) 5.00 The Girl From Missouri (1934) 6.30 The Prize (1963) 9.00 The Elephant Man (1980) 11.25 The Shoes Of The Fisherman (1968) 2.05am Quo Vadis? (1951)
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thursday 22 Fast Bucks: How Porsche Made Billions BBC2, 7.30pm In October 2008 it came to light that luxury sports car people Porsche were making a bid for Volkswagen. Allegedly, they had manipulated the market, making a fortune and leaving them in the very strong position of potentially taking over their rival. German authorities and BBC investigate.
The True Cost Of Cheap Food Channel 4, 8pm Food critic Jay Rayner has a nice idea but maybe too much hope in supermarkets. His argument that big profits should mean a responsible shop providing nutritious, cheap food is brilliant, but more responsible than economic sense. He’s joined by Heston Blumenthal on his quest.
American Idol ITV2, 8pm New year, new talent show. It’s audition time, as Ryan Seacrest travels to New Jersey, Florida, Utah, California, San Juan and Puerto Rico to find the brilliant and the scary. Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul will be doing the judging honours – mugging at the cameras – joined by newbie Kara DioGuardi.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 LazyTown 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 Prank Patrol 4.35 Little Howard’s Big Question 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Nuzzle And Scratch 9.20 Harry And Toto 9.30 Nina And The Neurons 9.45 Me Too! 10.10 Mister Maker 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 The Maths Channel – Year 3 11.10 Let’s Write Non-Fiction 11.30 Something Special 11.45 Barnaby Bear 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 World Indoor Bowls Championships 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 Planet Cook 6.45 Celebrity Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.15 Celebrity Big Brother: Eviction 8.15 Celebrity Big Brother: Eviction 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Tricky Business Two 10.00 Vocation, Vocation, Vocation 10.30 My Crazy Life 11.05 Crip On A Trip 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Kitchen Pharmacy 12.45 Frasier 1.20 FILM: Leave Her To Heaven (1946) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Pocoyo 8.45 Chiro 8.50 Big School 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.00pm House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.10 Five News Update 3.20 FILM: The Pledge (2008) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders As Dotty excitedly prepares for Jim’s visit, Dot confides in Bradley about her anxieties. Meanwhile, Tanya enlists Jane’s help in a desperate attempt to contact Lauren. Her previous humorous attempts having failed miserably. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 Life Of Riley Sitcom. Maddy’s husband Jim decides that her ex-husband Robbie is his new best friend. That’s nice. 8.30 The Green Green Grass Rural sitcom. Boycie wants a knighthood. Ee-aye-a-eli-oh, Boycie want a knighthood. 9.00 Hustle Drama. With Albert up for parole, the Grifters decide to con greedy judge Anthony Kent to raise money for his coming home party. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby chairs the political debate from Crawley. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week. 12.20am Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Watchdog 1.25 Hunter 2.25 It’s Not Easy Being Green 2.55 Wild About Your Garden 3.40 Countryfile 4.35 Joins BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts a quiz show. 6.30 Extreme Dreams: The Ultimate Challenge Desperate to reach camp before nightfall and drenched by rain that turns soil to mud and rivers into torrents teamwork is the only way to get through this challenge. 7.00 Oz And James Drink To Britain Oz tracks down one of the most northerly commercial vineyards in the country. 7.30 Fast Bucks: How Porsche Made Billions See highlights. 8.00 MasterChef Double-length episode comprising a heat and quarter-final. Bonus! 9.00 Victorian Farm Historical observational documentary series following a team who live the life of Victorian farmers for a year. Ruth has a go at some traditional potions and remedies. Hold your nose for this. 10.00 What The Victorians Did For Us How the opportunities in employment and education created the middle classes and gave them such luxuries as their own toilets. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 RTS Huw Wheldon Lecture 2009: Wit’s End? British Comedy At The Crossroads Comedian Sue Perkins presents the Royal Television Society Huw Wheldon Lecture 2009. 12.00am Bowls 2.00 BBC News 4.00 Science In Action
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale A delighted Paul is reunited with Jonny. Yay! Something happy happens on a soap! Crack open the streamers! 7.30 The Krypton Factor Ben Shephard hosts the fourth heat of Krypton Factor 2009. 8.00 The Bill When buried human remains are discovered in a park, a student card proves that they are those of Susan Clark, brutally murdered in 1988. Case solved! Oh, they’ve still got to find out who dunnit. Investigations continue. 9.00 Total Emergency Series following all three emergency services in Sheffield. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Dexter Rita forces Dexter to attend a Narcotics Anonymous 12-step programme, believing him to be a drug addict. Not a serial killing addict. D’oh! 11.45 FILM: D-Tox (2002) Starring Sylvester Stallone, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Berenger, Charles S Dutton. Action thriller in which a cop whose wife was brutally murdered checks himself into a rehab clinic to detox after turning to drink. And then someone gets murdered. Maybe he’s the common factor – eh? EH? 1.20am Crossing Jordan 2.05 Loose Women 2.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Calvin visits Warren after Louise’s mum files a missing persons report, and Warren begins to sweat when Spencer tells them he has seen something truly horrible, prompting calls from Calvin for the truth to come out. It always does. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 The True Cost Of Cheap Food Documentary. See highlights. 9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Highlights of the previous 24 hours in the house. 10.00 Dodi Al-Fayed: What Really Happened? As if a bunch of TV execs knew. 11.05 You’re Fayed Keith Allen joins Egyptian billionaire Mohamed Al Fayed as he jets between Paris, London and his Scottish castle retreat and holds forth on various subjects, from New Labour to the car crash in which Princess Diana and his son Dodi died. The real question is: How did they decide that Keith Allen was the best person for this job? Bizarre. 12.15am The Month With Miquita Music magazine. Miquita Oliver checks out December’s biggest music releases. Guests include Lily Allen, The Saturdays, Seann William Scott, Kelly Clarkson and The Ting Tings. 1.15 Celebrity Big Brother: Live 3.35 Hill Street Blues 4.20 Time Team 5.10 Countdown 5.55 The Hoobs
6.00 Home And Away Xavier gets up to mischief. Sounds like a learning to read book title. Bit mean to have to read ‘Xavier’ when your reading skills are just starting. Really! 6.30 Zoo Days After months of hard work, the team finally discovers whether white rhino Cynthia is pregnant. Someone better know! 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Animal Rescue Squad Conservation officers mount a rescue mission when a mother bear and her two cubs wander into a Vancouver garden. Don’t eat the roses. 8.00 Cowboy Builders Melinda Messenger and Dominic Littlewood come to the rescue of homeowners who have been let down by shoddy builders. The pair head to Plymouth to assist a family with an unfinished extension. Jodie Marsh’s hairdresser? 9.00 FILM: Wyatt Earp (1994) Starring Kevin Costner, Dennis Quaid, Gene Hackman, Michael Madsen, Bill Pullman and Isabella Rossellini. Epic biopic of western lawman Wyatt Earp from an early age to the battle with his brothers and Doc Halliday against the dreaded Clanton and McLaury gangs. By that we don’t mean they had rather nice dreaded locks, because that would be silly. 12.45am Quiz Call 4.00 Now Is The Time: Night Of Combat – Kick Boxing 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Carling Cup Football 7.30 European Tour Weekly 8.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Commercialbank Qatar Masters 10.00 Carling Cup Football 12.00pm Live European Tour Golf: Commercialbank Qatar Masters 2.00 Licence To Le Mans 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 LIVE Dubai International Racing Carnival 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 LIVE Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 Time Of Our Lives 11.30 The Rugby Club 1.00am Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 2.30 Barclays Premier League World 3.00 LIVE International Cricket
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 9.30 Licence To Le Mans 10.00 Tenpin Bowling 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00pm Licence To Le Mans 12.30 Carling Cup Football 2.00 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 4.00 Carling Cup Football 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 The Rugby Club 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 LIVE Sky Poker Five-OO 12.00am Cycling: Tour Down Under 12.30 NFL: Total Access 1.30 Golf Night 3.30 Poker 5.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 10.00 Sailing 10.30 Powder Adventures 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Powder Adventures 1.30 Sailing 2.00 NFL: Total Access 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 WWE Vintage Collection 5.00 WWE Special 6.00 High Five 6.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 7.00 Airsports World 7.30 Golf Night 9.30 WWE Late Night Raw 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am WWE Special 1.30 Airsports World 2.00 Close Victoria Nangle
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12.00pm Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 1.00 Family Court: Judge Penny (x2) 2.00 Lost 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-YearOld? 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Cold Case 10.00 Bones 11.00 Ross Kemp In Afghanistan 12.00am Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.00 My 22 Stone Dad And Skinny Me 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Undercover Princes 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am My 22 Stone Dad And Skinny Me 1.15 The World’s Strictest Parents 2.10 The Undercover Princes
7.00pm World News Today 7.40 The New Avengers 8.30 The House Of Chanel 9.00 Fashion Versus The BBC 10.00 Style On Trial 11.00 Men, Women And Clothes 11.15 The Look 12.05am The Legend Of Leigh Bowery 1.20 Fashion Versus The BBC 2.20 Style On Trial 3.20 Fashion Versus The BBC 5.30 Close
12.30pm Emmerdale 1.00 Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 American Idol. See highlights. 9.00 FILM: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) 11.05 FILM: X2 (2003) 1.40am Teleshopping
11.00am Inspector Morse 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.10 Monarch Of The Glen 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Flashpoint 11.00 FILM: The Parallax View (1974) 1.10am Inspector Morse
1.05pm Celebrity Big Brother (x3) 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 The Class 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.05 Friends (x2) 9.00 My Name Is Earl 9.30 The Big Bang Theory 10.00 Skins 11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Big Mouth 11.35 Celebrity Big Brother Live
3.00pm A Place In The Sun (x2) 4.05 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 ER 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 The Closer 12.00am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.00 The Secret Millionaire 2.00 ER
12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Criminal Minds 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Grey’s Anatomy 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Will And Grace
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5.00pm Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 5.40 Keeping Up Appearances 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 One Foot In The Grave 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 The Royle Family (x2) 10.20 Absolutely Fabulous 11.00 The Thin Blue Line 11.40 Men Behaving Badly 12.20am The Royle Family
1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x3) 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x2) 12.10am Two And A Half Men 12.40 Frasier (x2)
1.00pm Forensic Detectives 2.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Solved 10.00 Crime Scene Forensics 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)
12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: The Loch Ness Terror (2007) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Flash Gordon 7.00 Angel 8.00 FILM: Disaster Zone: Volcano In New York (2006) 10.00 FILM: The People Under The Stairs (1991) 12.00am FILM: Devil’s Den (2006) 1.40 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2)
9.25am Charade (1963) 11.20 Johnny Guitar (1954) 1.15pm Samson And Delilah (1949) 3.25 Here Come The Waves (1944) 5.05 Teacher’s Pet (1958) 7.05 Charade (1963) 9.00 Johnny Guitar (1954) 10.55 The Pawnbroker (1965) 12.55am Samson And Delilah (1949)
9.00am Breaking And Entering (2006) 11.00 La Vie En Rose (2006) 1.30pm The Proposition (1998) 3.30 Schultze Gets The Blues (2003) 5.30 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 8.00 Breaking And Entering (2006) 10.00 The Lives Of Others (2006) 12.20am Happiness (1999)
1.00pm Carrington VC (1954) 3.05 Conspiracy Of Hearts (1960) 5.20 The Lost World (1960) 7.15 In And Out (1997) Comedy about Kevin Kline inadvertently being outed by an ex student of his, depsite not being gay. 9.00 Keeping Mum (2005) 11.05 Funny Games (2007) 1.15am Candy (2006)
10.25am The Elephant Man (1980) 12.55pm The Philadelphia Story (1940) 3.00 Bad Day At Black Rock (1955) 4.35 The Year Of Living Dangerously (1982) 6.50 Young Man With A Horn (1950) 9.00 How The West Was Won (1962) 11.45 Grand Prix (1966) 2.35am How The West Was Won (1962)
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friday 23 Celebrity Big Brother: The Live Final Channel 4, 8.30pm & 10pm Wow. This is the end. Beautiful end, but also probably messy, shouty and proper event telly that will be discussed in minutiae around the water cooler come Monday morning. The finalists will be jumpy after Wednesday’s double eviction, knowing today is their spotlight. Best bits galore.
Friday Night With Jonathan Ross BBC1, 10.35pm He’s back. And he’s very, very sorry. Yup, Wossy’s suspension has come to an end and he’s got some lovely guests to kick the series off with. All round lovey and sweetie pie Stephen Fry takes his place on the sofa, joined by comic Lee Evans and music from Franz Ferdinand.
Flashpoint ITV3, 9pm “Call in the SWAT team” is uttered at least three times in any mega action flick. Here’s a chance to see the drama from the SWAT team’s perspective, without the sweaty vest-wearing star, and a brand new crime drama to boot. Lovely. Tonight the father of a dying girl takes extreme measures. Call in SWAT!
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BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 LazyTown 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 Outback 8 4.35 The Legend Of Dick And Dom 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Nuzzle And Scratch 9.20 Harry And Toto 9.30 Nina And The Neurons 9.45 Me Too! 10.10 Mister Maker 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Fun With Phonics 11.10 Razzledazzle 11.30 Telling Tales: Frau Holle 11.35 Telling Tales: German: Frau Holle 11.40 See You, See Me 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 World Indoor Bowls Championships 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the popular quiz show. 6.30 Extreme Dreams: The Ultimate Challenge Ben Fogle leads a team through the Peruvian jungle in search of the ancient Incan Petroglyphs of Pusharo. 7.00 An Island Parish – The Deadly Storm In-depth interviews and dramatic reconstruction of four island men who nearly drowned after their epic attempt to row from New York to the Isles of Scilly in Cornwall. 8.00 Natural World Moving film of a mother polar bear, a mother grizzly bear and their cubs, adapting to a warming world. 8.50 Coast The Coast team visit Solway Firth – a haven for Barnacle geese, but heartbreaking for the local Coastguards rescuing cockle pickers. 9.00 Around The World In 80 Faiths Pete Owen Jones’s epic journey around the world’s beliefs continues in the Middle East. 10.00 Grumpy Old Men Filling up the car; a trip to the supermarket; even consulting the A to Z all prove potentially explosive. 10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.00 Newsnight Review Roundtable arts and culture discussion. 11.35 The Culture Show Interviews and wordwide movers and shakers. 12.20am Bowls Extra 2.20 Nero Wolfe
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 Planet Cook 7.05 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Celebrity Big Brother 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Tricky Business Two 10.00 Vocation, Vocation, Vocation 10.30 My Crazy Life 11.05 Osama Bin Everywhere: The Many Faces Of The Islamic World 12.00pm News At Noon 12.35 Bright Young Wonders 12.40 Frasier 1.10 FILM: The Undefeated (1969) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Michaela and Sasha decide to throw a baby shower for Amy. Ah. Better than homework. 7.00 Channel 4 News 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA Former Watford FC footballer Damien Francis and his fiancee, model Rachel Ritfeld, hunt for a new home. Rachel wants a glamorous new life in LA but Damien loves London and would miss his mum too much if he moved away. Ah. They’ve got a million in the kitty. Time to start living in fantasyland. 8.30 Celebrity Big Brother: The Live Final See highlights. 9.30 Plus One Comedy about Rob Black and his efforts to upstage exgirlfriend Linsey on her wedding day, to Duncan from Blue. Rich persuades Rob that he needs a model to accompany him to the wedding. 10.00 Celebrity Big Brother: The Live Final See highlights. 11.05 Rude Tube 2009 Matt Kirshen celebrates the funniest and most notorious internet videos. 11.35 Sunday Night Project Catherine Tate guest hosts. 12.40am 4 Music: T-Mobile Transmission 1.10 Betfair World Series Of Poker Europe 2.10 Freesports On 4 3.00 Adrenalin Rush 3.30 Trans World Sport 4.20 Time Team 5.10 Countdown 5.55 The Hoobs
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Pocoyo 8.45 Chiro 8.50 Big School 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.00pm House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.10 FILM: More Sex And The Single Mom (2005) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am LIVE International Cricket 12.00pm LIVE European Tour Golf: Commercialbank Qatar Masters 2.00 Barclays Premier League World 2.30 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 4.00 International Cricket 6.00 LIVE European Rugby 8.00 LIVE European Rugby 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am Big League Weekend 1.00 LIVE A1 GP: New Zealand Qualifying 2.30 Friday Fight Night 4.30 Big League Weekend 5.30 Volvo Ocean Race
6.00 Home And Away Ruby falls for a bad boy. Does Summer Bay import them? They don’t seem to live there. 6.30 Zoo Days The keepers enjoy a late Christmas celebration as Chaos the reindeer arrives. Aptly named. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Rough Guide To Island Retreats Toby uncovers the hidden delights of Zanzibar; and Julia retreats to tranquil Formentera, a stone’s throw from the madness of Ibiza. That’s a massive stone. 8.00 Police Interceptors Series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex. 9.00 NCIS The murder of a US Marine at a military base unearths a convoluted love triangle and a possible spy ring. It couldn’t just be a triangle. Why spies though?! 10.00 Numb3rs The agents join forces with the police to investigate the fatal shooting of eight people in a coffee shop. That fella with the gun dunnit. Sorted. 11.00 Criminal Minds When the fourth woman in four months disappears in Seattle, the team are brought in to profile her captor. On his first job in six months, Gideon assists the team while under the watchful eye of Hotch. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 The Thresher Shark: Great Ocean Adventures 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am The Rugby Club 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 Euro Tour Golf: Qatar Masters 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 Spanish Football: Copa Del Rey 12.00pm Airsports World 12.30 WWE Special 1.30 The Rugby Club 3.00 Euro Tour Golf: Qatar Masters 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 6.30 Big League Weekend 7.30 Golf Night 9.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 10.00 Big League Weekend 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am Cycling: Tour Down Under 12.30 Golf Night 2.30 Big League Weekend 3.30 Tight Lines 4.30 Gillette World Sport 5.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 5.30 High Five
6.00 BBC News 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker is joined by regular team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell for more sporting trivia. 7.57 BBC News; Regional News 8.00 EastEnders Dot is horrified by the return of an unexpected guest. Ethel’s little Willy? 8.30 Sky Cops Series about Britain’s helicopter police. 9.00 QI Stephen Fry quizzes Phill Jupitus, Jo Brand, Hugh Dennis and Alan Davies on all things French. 9.30 The Vicar Of Dibley Ecclesiastical sitcom. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.33 BBC Weather 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross See highlights. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.40 FILM: Man On Fire (2004) Starring Denzel Washington, Christopher Walken, Dakota Fanning, Radha Mitchell, Marc Anthony, Giancarlo Giannini, Mickey Rourke. Gripping revenge thriller in which a CIA assassin turned bodyguard teams up with a crusading journalist to take on a Mexican kidnapping ring. Cool. 2.00am Weatherview 2.05 Sign Zone: The Real Sir Alan 3.05 Stephen Fry In America 4.05 Joins BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Will Laurel be able to keep Jasmine’s confession secret? Both hands clamped over her gob might help. 7.30 Coronation Street Kevin is shocked to discover a mystery pregnancy testing kit. Grandad Kev’s got a nice ring to it. 8.00 Is TV Too Rude? Tonight With sex, violence and profanity a norm in TV schedules, this explores whether broadcasters have gone too far. 8.30 Coronation Street Tony publicly humiliates Maria. He’s a rotter and a rogue. 9.00 Trial And Retribution When a girl falls to her death from a ferris wheel, it is thought to be a tragic accident until DS Satchell’s aunt – a fortune teller – comes forward with her suspicions of foul play. Ooh! 10.00 The Beauty Salon Killer: Real Crime The story of Rena Salmon, who shot beauty salon owner Lorna Stewart with a double barrelled shotgun in September 2002. 11.00 The Late News; Weather 11.35 FILM: The Hand That Rocks The Cradle (1992) Starring Annabella Sciorra, Rebecca De Mornay. Thriller about a scary nanny. 1.30am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.25 FILM: Pavilion Of Women (2001) 4.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
Sky Sports 2
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 9.30 The Rugby Club 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Powder Adventures 1.30 Airsports World 2.00 NFL: Total Access 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 WWE Special 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.00am European Rugby: Challenge Cup 3.00 European Rugby 5.00 NFL: Total Access
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
1.00pm Family Court: Judge Penny (x2) 2.00 Lost 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A TenYear-Old? 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 9.00 Road Wars (x2) 11.00 Ross Kemp In Afghanistan 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Street Wars 1.50 Mile High
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 The Real Hustle (x2) 8.30 Doctor Who 9.15 Doctor Who Confidential 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Grownups 11.00 LifeSpam: My Child Is French 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.20am FILM: Sin City (2005) 2.15 Grownups 2.45 LifeSpam: My Child Is French 3.15 My 22 Stone Dad And Skinny Me
7.00pm News 7.30 Transatlantic Sessions 8.00 Seasick Steve: Bringing It All Back Home 8.30 Seasick Steve At Reading 2008 9.00 Folk America 10.00 Folk America At The Barbican: Hollerers, Stompers And Old-Time Ramblers 11.00 Desperate Man Blues 11.55 The New Avengers 12.50am Cowards
12.00pm Emmerdale 12.30 The Funny Side Of The Street 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 BRITs 2009: The Launch Party 9.00 American Idol 10.00 FILM: The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005) 12.20am Coronation Street (x2)
1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.15 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Flashpoint. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Dave (1993) 12.20am Liverpool One 1.20 Inspector Morse
12.15pm Kevin Hill 1.05 Celebrity Big Brother (x2) 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 8.55 Wife Swap (x2) 11.00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Big Mouth 12.05am Dylan Moran: Like, Totally 1.05 Wife Swap
3.00pm A Place In The Sun (x2) 4.05 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 UFOs: The Secret Evidence 11.05 FILM: The Accused (1988) 1.15am The Secret Millionaire 2.20 Grand Designs Revisited
12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace 8.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 9.00 CSI 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI 12.00am Will And Grace (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2)
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
5.40pm Keeping Up Appearances 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 One Foot In The Grave 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 The Royle Family At Christmas 9.40 The Royle Family 11.00 The Thin Blue Line 11.40 Men Behaving Badly 12.20am The Royle Family At Christmas 1.00 The Royle Family
1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x20 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.15 Scrubs (x2) 12.15am Celebrity Death Match 12.45 Jackass
1.00pm Forensic Detectives 2.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Survivorman 10.00 NASA’s Greatest Missions 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA
12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: Disaster Zone: Volcano In New York (2006) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Flash Gordon 7.00 Angel 8.00 Sea Of Souls (x2) 10.30 FILM: Universal Soldier II: Brothers In Arms (1998) 12.20am FILM: Emmanuelle’s Private Collection: Sexual Spells
10.55am The Purple Heart (1944) 12.40pm The Nutty Professor (1963) 2.30 Road To Morocco (1942) 3.55 The Inn Of The Sixth Happiness (1958) 6.35 Custer Of The West (1968) 9.00 D-Day The Sixth Of June (1956) 10.50 The Nutty Professor (1963) 12.40am A Medal For Benny (1945)
12.50pm Remnants Of Everest: The 1996 Tragedy (2007) 2.50 For Your Consideration (2006) 4.20 Kenny (2007) 6.10 An Inconvenient Truth (2006) 7.50 New Police Story (2004) 10.00 Eastern Promises (2007) 11.45 Hollywoodland (2006) 1.55am Tube Tales (1999)
1.00pm The Well (1951) 2.45 Loving You (1957) 4.45 Penny Serenade (1941) 7.05 Just My Luck (2006) Lindsay Lohan hangs out with the McFly boys and swaps her good luck for their manager’s bad luck. What a comedic situation. 9.00 Braveheart (1995) 12.20am Last Days (2005) 2.10 Bats (1999)
6.50am Bonnie Scotland (1935) 8.10 Young Man With A Horn (1950) 10.15 How The West Was Won (1962) 1.05pm Ride The High Country (1962) 3.00 Crazy In Love (1992) 4.55 Lust For Life (1956) 7.15 Jailhouse Rock (1957) 9.00 Bullitt (1968) 11.05 Fame (1980) 1.30am Bullitt (1968) 3.30 Bonnie Scotland (1935)
Classics
Indie
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saturday 24 Casualty BBC1, 8.25pm Curtis is forced to confront his past and is faced with a difficult decision. Zoe struggles to connect with Sharice following Abby’s death. Meanwhile, Adam finds it difficult to deal with his brother’s worsening condition and an elusive patient causes trouble for Jay. But can any of them keep their clothes on?
1929:The Great Crash BBC2, 9pm A new film exploring the cause of the 1929 Wall Street Crash. Over six desperate days, shares crashed by a third. More than $25 billion in individual wealth was lost. Later, three thousand banks failed. Surviving eyewitnesses describe the biggest financial catastrophe in history in this story of a financial disaster.
Born Survivors: My 22 stone Dad and Skinny Me BBC3, 1.45am Fifteen-year-old Emma is 5ft 7ins but weighs just seven and a half stone. At 22 stone, her father is clinically obese. Emma has admitted that it was her dad’s weight problem that prompted her under-eating. We follow the family as they go through therapy and lose/gain weight.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Masterchef 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 Tennis: Australian Open Highlights 2.30 Bowls: World Championships 4.30 Final Score 5.15 BBC News 5.30 Regional News And Weather 5.35 Total Wipeout
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.40 Big Cook Little Cook 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Animalia 7.30 Mortified 8.00 Skunk Fu 8.15 Sportsround 8.30 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 9.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 9.55 Bernard 10.00 Basil’s Swap Shop 11.00 Roar 12.00pm Malcolm In The Middle 12.20 The Almost Perfect Guide To Life 12.45 Myths 12.50 Sound 1.20 Trexx And Flipside 1.50 Revealed 2.05 FILM: Bell, Book And Candle (1958) 3.45 FILM: Two Rode Together (1961) 5.30 The Diary Of Anne Frank 6.30 Dad’s Army Captain Mainwaring and the platoon help a widowed lady friend of Private Godfrey to gather in the harvest. 7.00 Victorian Farm Historical documentary. Ruth has a go at some traditional potions and remedies. When the wheat crop comes under attack, it’s time for some pest control, Victorian style, as Alex and Peter join a pheasant hunt. Alex goes out catching rabbits with a team of Victorian poachers, and with spring around the corner the first baby animals are ready to be born. 8.00 History Of Scotland Documentary series charting Scottish history. At one time, Gaelic Scotland – the people and the language – was central to the collective identity of Scots. But as Neil Oliver reveals, Scotland’s infamous Highland/Lowland divide was the result of a family struggle that divided the kingdom. 9.00 1929: The Great Crash See highlights. 10.00 QI XL Stephen Fry quizzes Phill Jupitus, Jo Brand, Hugh Dennis and Alan Davies on all things French. 10.45 FILM: As You Like It (2006) Adaptation of Shakespeare’s pastoral comedy telling the story of Orlando and Rosalind’s explusion from the French Court of Duke Frederick. 12.50am World Indoor Bowls Championship 2.50 FILM: Paper Clips .
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Cosby Mysteries 10.15 Dancing On Ice 11.35 Dancing On Ice – The Skate Off 12.05pm ITV News And Weather 12.10 Meridian News And Weather 12.15 The FA Cup Live 2.50 FILM: Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985) 4.25 Meridian News And Weather 4.40 ITV News And Weather 4.55 The FA Cup Live
6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 Planet Cook 7.05 Volvo Ocean Race 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Orange UnsignedAct 10.00 Friends 10.30 Friends 11.00 Celebrity Big Brother: The Final 12.00pm Celebrity Big Brother: The Final 1.00 Scrubs 1.30 Scrubs 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.15 Supernanny US 5.15 John Adams
6.00am Kid’s TV 8.30 Play! 8.40 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Roobarb And Custard Too 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Fifth Gear 11.00 Nigel Marven’s Shark Island 12.00pm Michaela’s Zoo Babies 1.00 FILM: The King And I (1999) 2.40 Zoo Days 2.45 FILM: Confessions Of A Young Bride (2005) 4.30 FILM: Alex And Emma (2003)
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Big League Weekend 7.30 A1 GP: New Zealand Qualifying 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.30 Live European Rugby 8.00 You’re On Sky Sports 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 12.30am LIVE Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 3.30 Gillette World Sport 4.00 NFL: America’s Game 5.00 You’re On Sky Sports
6.30 Eurovision: Your Country Needs You Graham Norton hosts the search for the next Eurovision stars. 7.35 The National Lottery: In It To Win It Dale Winton hosts the quiz show where five contestants compete to be in the right place at the right time in a bid to win a big money jackpot. All five could share it or just one of them could take the lot! Plus, Jenni Falconer is live from Lottery HQ with the weekend draws. 8.25 Casualty See highlights. 9.15 Outtake TV Anne Robinson presides over a brand new collection of hilarious outtakes. 9.45 BBC News 10.05 FILM: Air Force One (1997) Starring Harrison Ford, Glenn Close, Gary Oldman, Jurgen Prochnow, Wendy Crewson and Liesel Matthews. Highaltitude thriller in which the presidential aircraft, Air Force One, is hijacked by Russian communist radicals demanding the release of the Kazakhstani leader. With the First Lady and her family trapped on board, the hijackers threaten to kill one hostage every half-hour until their demands are met. What they don’t know is that the president himself is hiding in the hold and formulating a plan to save his family. 12.00am FILM: Tough Guys (1986) 1.40 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.40 Weatherview 2.45 BBC News.
7.15 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Have you ever wondered what Dev from Corrie keeps down his trousers? Then Harry the hero is here to save the day. If not, well… 7.45 Demons Drama series about an American vampire hunter played by the man who gave the world such classics as: “She’s as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.” Philip Glenister plays this very tongue-in-cheek, as he seeks out the ghoulies and ghastlies round London town. One for Hunt’s Housewives. 8.45 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Celebrity Special Special edition, as pairs of celebs play to win as much as possible for their chosen charities. First up are GMTV’s Penny Smith and TV presenter Anneka Rice. They are followed by Jo Brand, answering questions for Animal Rescue, and Nick Hancock, who is supporting the Captive Animals Protection Society. 9.45 ITV News And Weather 10.00 FA Cup Highlights Craig Doyle introduces highlights of today’s FA Cup fourth round matches. 11.30 FILM: Carlito’s Way (1993) Starring Al Pacino. Powerful crime drama about a New York criminal and tries to go straight. 2.05am FILM: Around The Bend (2004) 3.25 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Mystery 4.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Time Team The team brave the harsh conditions at Knockdhu in the County Antrim as they try to reveal the secrets of one of the biggest man-made monuments in Ireland. Working together with archaeologists from Queens University in Belfast, the team excavate the ditches and banks used by prehistoric tribes to defend the remote hillside site. After three days of work, the pieces begin to fall into place and reveal the work of a sophisticated society. 8.00 The Real Dad’s Army Documentary series telling the full story of what life was like for the men in charge of Britain’s defences during World War II and debunking myths about the ramshackle nature of the Home Guard. The final programme focuses on Britain’s secret resistance army, essentially a suicide squad intended to wreak havoc on a German invasion force. 9.00 FILM: Elizabeth (1998) See film highlights. 11.20 FILM: Witness (1985) Thriller where an Amish boy who witnesses a brutal murder goes into hiding with the detective assigned to investigate the case. Oscar winner. 1.30am FILM: Six Degrees Of Separation (1993) 3.25 Hill Street Blues 4.10 Time Team 5.00 Countdown 5.45 The Treacle People 5.55 The Hoobs
6.10 FILM: Private Benjamin (1980) Starring Goldie Hawn. Lighthearted story of a widow who joins the army. Following her elderly husband’s death the widow is duped into signing up for the Women’s Army Corps. Fort Biloxi proves a disastrous initiation, but amidst the mayhem the young woman discovers self-esteem for the first time in her life. 8.00 Five News and Sport 8.15 NCIS The murder of a US Marine at a military base unearths a convoluted love triangle and a possible spy ring. The case gets personal for Gibbs when his ex-wife emerges as a key witness. 9.15 CSI: NY Mac uncovers a murder on board a commercial flight and must set up a makeshift crime lab to catch the killer. The case is complicated when it emerges that the victim was posing as a Federal Air Marshal. 10.15 Law And Order A prison guard is charged with the cold-blooded murder of an ex-convict who threatened his family. 11.15 The FBI Files Documentary series charting the work of the FBI’s crime lab. This episode examines an operation to trap a dangerous ring of thieves who specialise in robbing armoured security vans in Boston. 12.15am Quiz Call 4.00 Tim Marlow On… 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Out Of Practice X2
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Volvo Ocean Race 7.30 Friday Fight Night 9.30 Live Euro Tour Golf 1.30pm LIVE European Rugby 3.30 LIVE European Rugby 5.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 6.00 A1 GP: New Zealand Qualifying 7.30 Golf Night 9.30 A1 GP: New Zealand Qualifying 11.00 Golf Night 1.00am Cycling: Tour Down Under 1.30 Spanish Football 5.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 5.30 Gillette World Sport
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Gillette World Sport 6.30 British Ice Hockey 9.00 WWE Special 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 1.30 Friday Fight Night 3.30 WWE Special 4.30 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 8.30 WWE Special 9.30 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 4.00 Max Power 5.00 Sports Unlimited
Alison Swann
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
12.00pm Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 1.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 2.00 Project Runway 3.00 Lost: Destiny Calls 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 Gladiators 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 7.30 Noel’s HQ Live 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Bones 10.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 11.00 24 12.50am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm The Real Hustle: High Stakes (x2) 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 FILM: War Of The Worlds (2005) 10.50 Family Guy (x2) 11.40 Outtakes: US Presidents 12.10am FILM: Tigerland (2001) 1.45 My 22 Stone Dad And Skinny Me 2.40 The Real Hustle: High Stakes (x2) 3.40 Outtakes: US Presidents
7.00pm Little Dorrit 7.30 Little Dorrit Omnibus 9.00 Fashion Versus The BBC 10.00 Alistair Cooke’s America 10.50 People’s Century 11.45 Style On Trial 12.45am Style On Trial 1.45 Little Dorrit 2.15 Little Dorrit 5.30 Close
2.05pm All Star Family Fortunes 2.50 Gossip Girl 3.50 BRITs 2009: The Launch Party 4.55 American Idol (x2) 6.55 Planet’s Funniest Animals 7.15 FILM: Junior (1994) 9.25 FILM: American Pie Presents Band Camp (2005) 11.15 FILM: Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason (2004) 1.20am The Truth About Boy Bands
11.40am The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: A Dark Blue Perfume 12.50pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.00 The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 3.05 Sherlock Holmes - The Master Blackmailer 5.20 FILM: Uncle Buck (1989) 7.10 Wycliffe 8.20 Taggart 9.45 A Touch Of Frost 11.50 Cracker 12.55am Ain’t Misbehavin’
7.30am Our Showbiz Mates: Best Of The Girls 8.30 Our Showbiz Mates: Best Of The Boys 10.00 Dark Angel (x2) 12.35pm Roswell (x2) 2.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.55 Friends (x2) 5.55 Celebrity Big Brother: The Final 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 100 Greatest Funny Moments 1.10am Dark Angel 2.00 Hollyoaks
9.00am A Place In The Sun 9.30 Time Team (x5) 2.35 FILM: The Quiller Memorandum (1966) 4.40 Grand Designs Revisited (x5) 10.00 Tony Robinson And The Ghosts Of Glastonbury Abbey 11.05 Time Team Special 12.10am The West Wing 1.10 Tony Robinson And The Ghosts Of Glastonbury Abbey
11.00am Blood Ties 12.00pm So You Think You Can Dance (x2) 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x8) 6.00 Will And Grace (x2) 7.00 Criminal Minds 8.00 Ghost Whisperer 9.00 FILM: The Karate Kid (1984) 11.30 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.30am Nothing To Declare 1.00 Blood Ties 2.00 Will And Grace (x2)
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
1.00pm Only Fools And Horses (x2) 2.20 Ever Decreasing Circles (x2) 3.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 5.00 The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin (x2) 6.20 The Good Life (x2) 7.40 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 9.00 Jonathan Creek (x2) 11.25 FILM: Keeping The Faith (2000) 1.50am Starstruck Classics
2.00pm Scrubs (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park (X2) 10.00 Scrubs 10.30 Frasier 11.00 Becker 11.30 Scrubs 12.00am Frasier 12.30 Becker 1.00 South Park (x2) 2.00 Scrubs (x2)
3.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 4.00 Unsolved Murders (x 2) 5.00 Nextworld 6.00 Kevin McCloud’s UK Superstructures (x2) 7.00 Survivorman 8.00 Alaska’s Great Race 9.00 Heist 10.00 The World’s Deadliest Gangs (x2) 11.00 Crime Scene Forensics 12.00am Crime Museum UK With Martin Kemp (x2)
3.10pm FILM: Magma: Volcanic Disaster (2006) 4.50 FILM: Disaster Zone: Volcano In New York (2006) 7.00 Haunted Homes 8.00 Eli Stone 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Nature Of The Beast (2005) 11.50 FILM: Emmanuelle’s Sensual Pleasures (2000) 1.40am FILM: Vampire In Brooklyn (1995) 3.40 Firefly (x2)
11.00am Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969) 12.35pm The Lady Eve (1941) 2.15 Paint Your Wagon (1969) 4.50 How To Steal A Million (1966) 7.00 Sunset Boulevard (1950) 9.00 Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969) 10.40 The Lady Eve (1941) 12.25am Road To Zanzibar (1941)
1.00pm Love Me If You Dare (2003) 2.40 The Last Temptation Of Christ (1988) 5.30 Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993) 7.30 Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer (2006) 10.00 Sex, Lies And Videotape (1989) 11.45 Summer Of Sam (1999) 2.10am The Last Temptation Of Christ (1988)
1.00pm Crocodile Dundee (1986) 2.50 In And Out (1997) 4.35 The River’s Edge (1957) 6.20 Phantom Of The Opera (2004) 9.00 AVP: Alien Vs Predator (2004) 10.45 In The Cut (2003) 1.00am Personal Services (1987) 3.10 Close
8.55am Travels With My Aunt (1972) 10.55 Where The Spies Are (1965) 1.00pm Clash By Night (1952) 3.00 Elvis: That’s The Way It Is () 4.55 To Have And Have Not (1944) 6.50 The VIPs (1963) 9.00 Before Sunrise (1995) 11.05 Cannery Row (1982) 1.15am Before Sunrise (1995) 3.00 Cannery Row (1982)
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sunday 25 Christianity: A History Channel 4, 7pm Series exploring the turbulent history and global impact of the world’s biggest religion. Dr Robert Beckford argues that Britain’s conversion to Christianity in the sixth century is the single most important event in the country’s history, and examines its role in creating a national identity which has survived ever since.
Lark Rise To Candleford BBC1, 8pm Time rests heavy on the residents of Lark Rise and Candleford, as baby Annie Timmins stirs up emotions of days gone by and loves yet to be found. And with Emma Timmins feeling the strains of family life, Dorcas Lane offers to lend a helping hand, unaware of the consequences that her generosity will bring.
Skins E4, 10.45pm Those naughty teens are back, catch up with the first episode of the third series as it’s the first day of term at Roundview College and a new gang is forming. Best friends Freddie, JJ and Cook are en-route to college. Their world collides with Effy’s and Cook is intrigued – this trouble-maker has met his match.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 1.30 EastEnders 3.25 Diagnosis Murder 4.10 Wild About Your Garden 4.55 Songs Of Praise 5.30 BBC News 5.50 Regional News And Weather
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Doodle Do Making Moments 6.40 Big Cook Little Cook 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Animalia 7.30 Mortified 8.00 The Revenge Files Of Alistair Fury 8.30 Only In America 9.00 The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Extreme Dreams: The Ultimate Challenge 12.00pm Animal Park 1.00 European Figure Skating Championships 2.30 World Indoor Bowls Championships 5.00 Ski Sunday 5.30 Orang-utan Diary
6.00am GMTV 9.25 FA Cup Highlights 10.55 Coronation Street Omnibus 1.15pm ITV News And Weather 1.25 Meridian News And Weather 1.30 FILM: K-9 PI (2002) 3.20 FILM: Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach (1988) 5.00 The Krypton Factor 5.30 Meridian News And Weather 5.45 ITV News And Weather
6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 Planet Cook 7.05 Trans World Sport 8.00 4Sport: Destination 2012 9.00 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.30pm Friends 1.00 Orange UnsignedAct 2.00 4Music Presents... 2.35 Orange UnsignedAct: The Result 2.50 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 3.45 The Simpsons 4.15 The Simpsons 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Time Team
6.00am Kid’s TV 8.25 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.40 Roobarb And Custard Too 8.55 The Mr. Men Show 9.05 Rupert Bear 9.20 Jane And The Dragon 9.45 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10.00 Secrets Of Egypt: Rameses 11.00 Mystery Of The Mummies 12.00pm Numb3rs 1.00 Animal Rescue Squad 1.30 FILM: Hard To Forget (1998) 3.25 FILM: A Ring Of Endless Light (2002) 5.10 Five News 5.25 FILM: The Green Berets (1968)
6.00am Spanish Football 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 12.30pm LIVE European Rugby 5.30 LIVE Spanish Football 8.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 NFL: Total Access 3.00 LIVE International Cricket
6.00 James May’s Big Ideas James May sets off to discover if his childhood vision of a world populated by robots will ever become a reality. He encounters robots that are almost human in Japan, a two million dollar bionic woman in the US and a robot that walks... straight into a door. But is James’ vision of the future just a little old-fashioned? To find out, he takes his first nervous step into a world where he becomes a ghost within a machine. 7.00 Amazon With Bruce Parry Bruce Parry goes on an epic journey in the Amazon. 8.00 The Best Of Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond present a selection of classic clips from the archives. 9.00 Explore It’s sunday night and there’s exploring to be done, fly high!. 10.00 High Altitude Hand in hand with the previous programme, this series shows us how life is in the high lands. 10.30 FILM: Good Night, And Good Luck (2005) See film highlights. 12.00am FILM: Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind (2002) Oddball black comedy based on the cult memoirs of Chuck Barris about a successful television producer behind two hit gameshows, who moonlights as a CIA assassin in his spare time. 1.45 FILM: A Lucky Day () Film. 3.15 BBC News
6.00 FA Cup Highlights Including 5th Round Draw Matt Smith introduces the best of the action from this weekend’s FA Cup fourth round ties. 6.30 Dancing On Ice Two celebrities have already gone, and nobody wants to be the next to leave the ice. 8.30 Wild At Heart Danny is drafted in to help with an outbreak of rabies. As the disease spreads up the food chain, Danny falls out with Alice – the feisty British vet sent to work with him. When Tula the baby elephant is attacked, Danny has to decide whether he can trust Alice’s judgement. 9.30 Dancing On Ice – The Skate Off It is results time! 10.00 ITV News And Weather 10.15 FA Cup Highlights Matt Smith introduces highlights of today’s FA Cup fourth round matches. 11.15 FILM: Unleashed (2005) Starring Jet Li.Martial arts action about a young man raised as an animal in order to do the bidding of his vicious debt collector owner. He manages to escape and is taken in by a gentle blind man and his daughter, who teach him how to live in peace as a human. Won’t last though… 1.05am Nightwatch with steve Scott: Crime 2.00 Raines 2.45 Coastal Kitchen 3.10 Is TV Too Rude? 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 The Secret Life Of Elephants Baby elephant Breeze is growing up fast, but as the dry season approaches she must face her biggest test yet. Her brother Buster, meanwhile, seems intent on getting them both into trouble. Outside the reserve, trouble brews as people and elephants come into conflict, and the team devise an unusual solution when a marauding group of bulls cause havoc by breaking into fields and raiding crops. 7.00 Antiques Roadshow The team are in Wells, Somerset, where they uncover a valuable bracelet gifted by Queen Victoria. 8.00 Lark Rise To Candleford See highlights. 9.00 A Short Stay In Switzerland In January 2006, Dr Anne Turner took her life in a Zurich clinic. Her suicide made headline news. This is her journey; an incredibly human one about life and death, love and family. 10.30 BBC News 10.50 FILM: A Good Woman (2004) Witty update of Oscar Wilde’s Lady Windermere’s Fan. 12.15am Weatherview 12.20 Sign Zone: The City Uncovered With Evan Davis 1.20 Sign Zone: Holby City 2.20 Sign Zone: An Island Parish – The Deadly Storm 3.20 Sign Zone: It’s Not Easy Being Green 3.50 Sign Zone: Animal Park 4.50 BBC News
6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Christianity: A History See highlights. 8.00 FILM: X Men: The Last Stand Starring Michael Murphy, Ben Foster, Cameron Bright, Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart. Ashamed of his mutant son, billionaire Warren Worthington III kidnaps another mutant who is able to produce an antibody to cure all mutants. 10.00 Sunday Night Project Justin Lee Collins and Alan Carr are joined by guest host Anne Robinson; with music provided by Mark Ronson and Daniel Marriweather. 11.05 FILM: Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery (1997) Starring Mike Myers. Comedy thriller spoof of 1960s spy films, in which the cryogenically preserved secret agent Austin Powers is revived in the present day to save the world. Powers soon realises that his vocabulary, fashion sense and attitude to women are hopelessly out of date. He enlists the help of the decidedly modern Ms Kensington to help him adjust to the 1990s and vanquish his old adversary, Dr Evil. 12.55am Betfair World Series Of Poker Europe 1.50 Shopping The Family Showcase 2.15 Hill Street Blues 3.00 Tony Robinson And The Blitz Witch 4.00 Time Team 4.55 Water Stories 5.05 Countdown 5.50 The Hoobs
8.00 Ice Road Truckers Documentary series examining the dangerous job of driving trucks on Canada’s notorious ice highways. A huge storm hits the Arctic coast, forcing authorities to close the ice road. As the drivers hurry to reach safety, Alex risks being caught in a white-out, and another trucker finds himself in a ditch. Elsewhere, Drew is given his first truckload to drive while Rick faces further delays. 9.00 FILM: Executive Decision (1996) Starring Kurt Russell, Steven Seagal, Halle Berry. Action thriller about an anti-terrorist squad on an airborne mission to rescue a Washington-bound plane from hijackers armed with nerve gas. With millions of lives at stake and authorities anxious to shoot the plane down, a desperate mission is authorised to board and retake the plane in flight. 11.35 Lockdown Gritty documentary series revealing the underworld of maximum security prisons. This instalment examines the gang warfare rife inside California’s Pelican Bay State Prison. 12.35am Urban Legends A humorous look at some contemporary folk tales of mystery and fear, only one of which is true. 1.05 X Games 1.45 NHL Ice Hockey 4.15 Boxing USA. 5.10 Out Of Practice x2
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Seamaster Sailing 7.30 Wild Spirits 8.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 9.30 LIVE Euro Tour Golf 1.30pm Gillette World Sport 2.00 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 2.30 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 4.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 4.30 LIVE Hockey: National Indoor Hockey Finals 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 NFL: Total Access 11.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 11.30 Hockey: National Indoor Hockey Finals 3.00am Cycling: Tour Down Under 3.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am WWE Special 7.00 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 7.30 Gillette World Sport 8.00 Cycling: Tour Down Under 8.30 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Seamaster Sailing 12.00pm WWE Royal Rumble Preview 12.30 WWE Special 1.30 Wild Spirits 2.00 NFL: Total Access 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Seamaster Sailing 4.30 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 7.30 Cycling: Tour Down Under 8.00 WWE Afterburn 9.00 WWE Royal Rumble Preview 9.30 WWE Experience 10.30 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.30 WWE Vintage Collection 12.30am WW: Royal Rumble Preview 1.00 European Rugby Special 4.00 Seamaster Sailing 4.30 Close
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extraterrestrial Sky1
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12.00pm WWE: Royal Rumble Preview 12.30 Futurama 1.00 Lost (x3) 4.00 Lost: Destiny Calls 5.00 Futurama 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 Gladiators 7.00 The Simpsons (x3) 8.30 Lost: On Location 9.00 Lost 10.50 Lost: Season Five Revealed 11.20 Gladiators 12.20am Road Wars 1.20 Street Wars 2.15 The Villa
7.00pm Outtakes: US Presidents 7.10 FILM: Deep Impact (1997) 9.00 Being Human 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.50 Grownups 11.20 Almost Famous 12.15am Being Human 1.10 FILM: Tigerland (2001) 2.45 Grownups 3.15 Almost Famous 4.10 The World’s Strictest Parents 5.30 Close
7.00pm Stephen Fry In America 8.00 Folk America 9.00 Robert Burns: The People’s Poet 10.30 Mark Lawson Talks To Bill Bryson 11.30 Stephen Fry In America 12.30am Folk America 1.30 Robert Burns: The People’s Poet 3.30 Mark Lawson Talks To Bill Bryson 5.30 Close
12.20pm FILM: Junior (1994) 2.30 BRITs 2009: Launch Party 3.30 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Celebrity Special 4.30 ITV’s Best Ever Ads 5.30 Coronation Street Omnibus 8.00 Demons 9.00 Supernatural (x2) 11.00 FILM: The Bourne Identity (2002) 1.20am Dancing On Ice (x2)
10.00am Wycliffe 11.10 Sherlock Holmes - The Master Blackmailer 1.25pm Ruth Rendell’s Inspector Wexford 3.40 FILM: The Railway Children (1970) 5.50 Hornblower 8.00 Wycliffe 9.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 11.10 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Bribery And Corruption 12.25am FILM: The Parallax View (1974)
1.20pm Beauty And The Geek 2.10 Crowned 3.05 Age Of Love 4.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.55 Friends (x2) 5.55 90210: That Was Then, This Is Now 6.55 Celebrity Wife Swap 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Swimfan (2002) 10.45 Skins 11.45 90210: That Was Then, This Is Now 12.50am Age Of Love 1.45 Crowned
1.50pm Location, Location, Location (x5) 4.35 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.25 Jamie At Home 7.55 The Great Italian Escape 8.30 The Great Italian Escape 9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 10.00 Half Ton Son 11.10 Father Ted 11.40 The IT Crowd 12.15am Curb Your Enthusiasm 12.50 Deal Or No Deal
3.30pm Home Video Heroes 4.00 Exposed: Britney Spears 5.00 Extreme: Skinny Celebrities 3 6.00 RSPCA Animal Rescue (x2) 7.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 Jade: The Next Chapter 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am Charmed 1.00 Blood Ties 2.00 RSPCA Animal Rescue (x2)
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
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TCM
2.20pm My Family (x2) 3.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 5.00 The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin (x2) 6.20 Citizen Smith (x2) 7.40 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 9.00 Open All Hours 9.40 Open All Hours 10.20 Porridge (x2) 11.40 Open All Hours (x2) 1.00am Porridge (x2) 2.15 Starstruck Classics 2.20 Sorry!
1.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 2.00 Scrubs (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 Scrubs (x2) 5.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Scrubs 10.30 Frasier 11.00 Becker 11.30 Scrubs 12.00am Frasier 12.30 Becker
4.00pm Dinosaurs: Return To Life 5.00 Secrets Of The Dinosaur Mummy 6.00 Biblical Mysteries Explained 7.00 Scandals Of Ancient Egypt 8.00 Survivorman 9.00 Alaska’s Great Race 10.00 Solved 11.00 The World’s Deadliest Gangs (x2) 12.00am Crime Museum UK (x2) 1.00 A Haunting
12.00pm Ghost Stories 12.30 FILM: The Loch Ness Terror (2007) 2.20 FILM: Nature Unleashed: Avalanche (2004) 4.00 Firefly 5.00 Firefly 6.00 Eli Stone 7.00 Triangle 8.50 FILM: Mammoth (2006) 10.40 FILM: Bubba Ho-Tep (2002) 12.30am FILM: Universal Soldier II: Brothers In Arms (1998)
1.15pm Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here (1969) 3.00 Barbarella (1968) 4.45 The Movie Geek 5.15 Island In The Sky (1953) 7.15 Louisiana Purchase (1941) 9.00 Breakfast At Tiffany’s (1961) 11.00 Barbarella (1968) 12.55am I’ll Never Forget What’s ‘is Name (1969)
11.00am Across The Universe (2007) 1.15pm The Namesake (2006) 3.20 Sicko (2007) 5.30 The Top 10 Show 5.45 Jeff Wayne’s Musical Version Of The War Of The Worlds 7.45 Across The Universe (2007) 10.00 Quadrophenia (1979) 12.05am The Proposition (1998) 2.00 The Movie Geek
1.00pm Just My Luck (2006) 3.00 Anne Of The Indies (1951) 4.35 Sands Of Iwo Jima (1949) 6.45 A Room With A View (1986) 9.00 Cutthroat Island (1995) 11.20 The Ice Storm (1997) 1.30am Boiler Room (2000) 3.55 Close
12.45pm Dark Victory (1939) 2.35 Under The Influence: Sydney Pollack 3.00 An American In Paris (1951) 5.05 Elvis On Tour (1972) 6.50 My Favorite Year (1982) 8.30 Under The Influence: Sydney Pollack 9.00 The In-Laws (1979) 11.00 The Night Of The Iguana (1964) 1.15am The Hunger (1983)
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monday 26 EastEnders BBC1, 8pm Oh the joy of Janine! With the recent reappearance in the Square of Nick ‘allo ma‘ Cotton will it be revealed they are related? Janine is putting Billy’s loyalties to the test. Bradley is surprised with Max’s choice of new accommodation. What can it be? And more importantly, is it Janine proof?
Horizon: Why Are Thin People Not Fat? BBC2, 9pm The world is affected by an obesity epidemic, but why isn’t everyone fat? It’s not all about exercise and diet. This programme has a controversial overeating experiment that aims to identify exactly what it is about some people that makes it hard for them to bulk up.
The Victorian Sex Explorer More4, 10pm Rupert Everett takes a revealing journey retracing the steps of Victorian explorer and sexual whirlwind, Sir Richard Burton. He brought us the Kama Sutra and The Arabian Nights and sealed his reputation as “Dirty Dick.” What Burton saw in these books and the lands they came from was another way of life.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 One Minute Wonders 4.35 Half Moon Investigations 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00am Kid’s TV 9.45 Me Too! 10.10 Mister Maker 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Fun With Phonics 11.10 Telling Tales: English - The Sun And The Wind 11.15 Telling Tales: French - The Sun And The Wind 11.20 BBC Primary History 11.40 Around Scotland: The Jacobites 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Out Of The Blue 1.25 Coast 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Trash To Cash 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Quiz. 6.30 Extreme Dreams: The Ultimate Challenge Exploration and adventure with Ben Fogle. 7.00 The Money Programme New stories from the world of business and work. 8.00 University Challenge In the penultimate quarter final, Corpus Christi College, Oxford fights it out with the students of the University of Exeter in a bid to reach the semifinals in the student quiz. Jeremy Paxman asks the questions. 8.30 Masterchef Restaurateur John Torode and fruit and veg man Gregg Wallace look for the country’s next masterchef. 9.00 Horizon: Why Are Thin People Not Fat? See highlights. 10.00 Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe Charlie Brooker takes an irreverent look at all aspects of life on the small screen, including capsule reviews of the week’s highs and lows. In an advertising special, there are reports from a mysterious insider dishing the dirt on all that is bad in the industry. 10.30 Newsnight Newsnight. 11.20 Around The World In 80 Faiths Pete Owen Jones presents the definitive guide to faith on earth. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 Schama Shorts 5.00 Timelines
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 Meridian News And Weather 11.25 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Tricky Business Two 10.00 KNTV - Philosophy 10.35 My Crazy Life 11.05 Get Me The Producer 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Puppet Love 12.35 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.40 FILM: Night Train To Munich (1940) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 The Simpsons Maggie and Moe develop a special bond, to the point that Marge and Homer start to feel excluded and put a stop to the friendship. 6.30 Hollyoaks Hannah is thrilled when Matt turns up at The Dog full of his usual charm. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: My Home Town A series of short films selected from the Channel 4 website. 8.00 Time Team This week reports on a secret investigation into a Viking boat burial in Yorkshire. 9.00 Chickens, Hugh And Tesco Too Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall takes on Britain’s biggest supermarket in an audacious attempt to change the company’s animal welfare policy from the inside by becoming a shareholder. 10.00 William And Harry: What Really Happened Journalist Jacques Peretti investigates the truth behind the headlines about Princes William and Harry. 11.05 The True Cost Of Cheap Food Documentary. Food critic Jay Rayner examines what goes into budget food products and asks why low cost often means low quality. 12.10am T-Mobile Transmission 12.40 4 Music: Bloc Party: Live 1.05 FILM: The Contender (2000) 3.10 Hill Street Blues 4.00 Rat-a-Tat-Tat
6.00am Kid’s TV 7.30 Roary The Racing Car 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Pocoyo 8.45 Chiro 8.50 Big School 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.00pm House Doctor: The A-Z Of Design 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.10 FILM: Nowhere To Land (2000) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am LIVE International Cricket 12.00pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 2.00 Spanish Football 4.00 International Cricket 6.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 Big League Weekend 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Big League Weekend 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Time Of Our Lives 2.00 Sports Unlimited 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Max Power 5.00 Sports Unlimited
6.00 Home And Away Kane is released from jail. 6.30 Zoo Days When a giant African spurred tortoise develops a leg problem, the team is left with no option but to operate. Elsewhere, Katavi the hand-reared cheetah cub accompanies zoo director Anthony to work, and the elephants are treated to a jumbo ice lolly. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 How Do They Do It? In this programme, Robert learns how diamonds are mined in one of the most inhospitable places on Earth. 8.00 Fifth Gear Jason is starstruck at the annual Race of Champions and Vicki meets 17-year-old rally sensation Tom Cave. 9.00 FILM: Last Man Standing (1996) Starring Bruce Willis. Prohibition-era action drama about a feared gunslinger who cruises into a Texan border town and finds himself caught in the middle of a gang war. 11.05 FILM: No Way Back (1996) Action thriller about an FBI agent who is forced to team up with the head of a Japanese criminal organisation to fight a common enemy. 12.55am USPGA Golf 1.45 X Games 2.35 AMA Supercross 3.30 Race And Rally UK 3.55 Motorsport Mundial 4.20 Ironman Triathlon Highlights 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 America’s Game 10.00 NFL: Top Ten 11.00 Spanish Football 1.00pm European Rugby Special 4.00 Golf Night 6.00 Powder Adventures 6.30 High Five 7.00 NFL: Top Ten 8.00 America’s Game 9.00 America’s Game 10.00 Poker 12.00am America’s Game 1.00 NFL: Top Ten 2.00 Big League Weekend 3.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.00 Poker
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories from around the UK. 7.30 Watchdog Nicky Campbell, Julia Bradbury and Paul Heiney present consumer news and advice from the Watchdog office. 8.00 EastEnders See highlights. 8.30 Panorama Frank Skinner is one of Britain’s most controversial comedians but even he felt the comments broadcast last year by Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand on BBC Radio went too far. As he experiments with reducing the expletive count in his own stand-up show, Frank aims to find out if the Ross-Brand storm really was a watershed in broadcasting’s debate about bad language and offence. 9.00 Motorway Cops Documentary series following the traffic police. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Movie Connections Charting the evolution of some of the biggest movies. 11.15 FILM: Broadcast News (1987) Intelligent romantic comedy satirising American television news. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 2.25 Sign Zone: A Short Stay In Switzerland. 3.55 Sign Zone: Nicholas Crane’s Britannia: The Great Elizabethan Journey 4.55 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News and Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Laurel implores Jasmine to give herself up to the police. Zak worries that Eli is in more trouble than he’s admitting to. Paul is frustrated to find that Rodney will not confide in him. 7.30 Coronation Street Maria’s obsession with Tony results in a terrible climax. Leanne receives some upsetting news about Peter. Anna warns Gary to leave David alone. 8.00 Ed Mitchell: What Happened Next? Documentary about former ITN newsreader Ed Mitchell, who found himself a homeless alcoholic after losing his job and his home. The programme-makers follow Ed as he tries to kick the habit and rebuild his life. 8.30 Coronation Street Have Maria’s actions harmed her baby? 9.00 Unforgiven Final episode of the three-part thriller about how a woman’s release from prison impacts three seemingly unrelated families. 10.00 News At Ten and Weather 10.35 FILM: Bloody Sunday (2002) See film highlights. 12.40am Wanted 1.30 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.20 Loose Women 3.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
Sky Sports 2
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 European Rugby Special 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm America’s Game 1.00 Powder Adventures 1.30 Seamaster Sailing 2.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 3.00 NFL: Top Ten 4.00 America’s Game 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Motor Racing: Mowlem’s Racing Travels 7.30 Wild Spirits 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 Big League Weekend 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close
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Living
12.00pm Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 1.00 Family Court: Judge Penny (x2) 2.00 Medical Detectives (x2) 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Gladiators 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-YearOld? 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 24 10.00 Night Cops 11.00 Street Wars 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Street Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 8.05 Doctor Who Confidential 8.30 Outtakes: US Presidents 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Grownups 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Being Human 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Gavin And Stacey 12.45 Grownups 1.15 Being Human 2.15 The World’s Strictest Parents
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The American Future: A History, By Simon Schama 8.30 The Book Quiz 9.00 What Darwin Didn’t Know 10.30 Gerry Robinson And The Money Makers 11.00 Cowards 11.30 FILM: Aguirre, Wrath Of God (1972) 1.00am Imagine... Werner Herzog: Beyond Reason
12.00pm Coronation Street (x2) 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Smallville 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 FILM: The Bourne Identity (2002) 11.20 Coronation Street (x2) 12.20am FILM: The Bourne Supremacy (2004)
1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.15 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.20 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 8.00 The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Forensic Casebook With Matthew Kelly (x2)10.00 Prime Suspect 12.10am Inspector Morse
12.45pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.40 One Tree Hill 3.35 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 90210 10.45 FILM: Romy And Michele’s High School Reunion (1997) 12.35am Scrubs (x2)
4.05pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 The Victorian Sex Explorer 11.10 ER 12.10am Brothers And Sisters 1.00 The Secret Millionaire
12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Kyle XY 9.00 America’s Next Top Model 10.00 Lipstick Jungle 11.00 CSI 12.00am Will And Grace (x2) 1.00 Charmed
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
5.00pm Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 5.40 Keeping Up Appearances 6.20 The Good Life 7.00 One Foot In The Grave 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley (x2) 10.20 Absolutely Fabulous 11.00 The Thin Blue Line 11.40 Men Behaving Badly 12.20am Sorry!
1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Becker (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x3) 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x2) 12.10am Two And A Half Men 12.40 Frasier (x2)
1.00pm Forensic Detectives 2.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 American Chopper 9.00 Chop Shop (x2) 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting
11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 Triangle 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 Flash Gordon 7.00 Angel 8.00 Haunted Homes 9.00 Eli Stone 10.00 Medium 11.00 Dead Like Me 12.00am FILM: Emmanuelle’s Sensual Pleasures (2000) 1.50 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2)
12.55pm Valkyrie Special 1.25 Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 3.10 The Snows Of Kilimanjaro (1952) 5.10 The Miracle Of Morgan’s Creek (1944) 6.55 Operation Petticoat (1959) 9.00 Father Goose (1964) 11.00 Cool Hand Luke (1967) 1.10am The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938)
9.00am Schultze Gets The Blues (2003) 11.00 The Thin Red Line (1998) 1.55pm European Film Awards 2008 3.40 Tell No One (2006) 6.00 The Serpent (2006) 8.10 Earth (1998) 10.00 Magnolia (1999) 1.15am Breaking The Waves (1996) 3.55 China’s Hollywood
1.00pm Dragonwyck (1946) 3.05 The Bells Of St Mary’s (1945) 5.35 Love Happy (1950) 7.15 Carry On Behind (1975) 9.00 Assault On Precinct 13 (2005) 11.05 Bad Lieutenant (1992) 1.00am Keane (2004) 2.40 Close
6.50am A Day At The Races (1937) 8.50 Now, Voyager (1942) 11.00 The In-Laws (1979) 1.00pm Bachelor In Paradise (1961) 3.00 Judgment At Nuremberg (1961) 6.15 Anchors Aweigh (1945) 9.00 The Cincinnati Kid (1965) 10.55 Wild Rovers (1971) 1.15am The Cincinnati Kid (1965) 2.55 Wild Rovers (1971)
Classics
Indie