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t h e city magazine for brighton & h o v e www.thelatest.co.uk
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 17–23 February 2009
FREE WEEKLY
get gorgeous beautique brighton have the solution
composing a classic jeff wayne on taking war of the worlds on tour
shooting stars filming alex james for the see festival’s cocaine diaries
love match head to the royal pavilion wedding fair and make your big day dreams come true page 7
Bumper 10 page
Wedding Special
Everything you need to plan your big day. Don’t say I do without it!
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Contents
Welcome
★latest upfront 4–19
It might be a tough year financially, and we are all watching the pennies, but you can’t delay major milestones in your life just because there’s a recession. This week we bring you the complete ten-page guide to planning a wedding in Sussex, from hairdressers to hen parties, complete with discounts to help you along your way (p5). However far you’ve got with your planning, or if you’re just starting out, you can’t go wrong by attending the Royal Pavilion Wedding Fair this weekend. For full details, see our cover feature on page 7. Among the discounts on offer is the chance to win 50 per cent off your hen party at Beautique Brighton (p11). Also this weekend is the SEE Festival, Brighton’s documentary festival. In film, Ralph Miller talks to festival founder David NotmanWatt about taking Alex James to search for cocaine in Colombia (p31). Our other big interview this week is with Jeff Wayne, composer of the musical version of The War of the Worlds. Jeff is shortly to be a guest at The Space, Brighton’s monthly arts and media networking group. He talked to Martha McAlpine about how HG Wells’ book challenged colonial Britain (p19). Our books writer John O’Donoghue spent much of the first ten years of his adult life being homeless. Now a university lecturer and Latest reviewer, he has been reading the story of a man whose life went in the opposition direction. Former newsreader Ed Mitchell went from earning £100,000 a year to living on Hove seafront by the Babylon Lounge. Read what John made of his autobiography in our books section (p28). We’ve heard about some popular restaurants closing in recent weeks, so it’s a refreshing change to hear about a strong new face in town. Photographer Tim Richardson was at the opening of Giraffe in Jubilee Street (p14). Meanwhile, on the food page Andrew pays tribute to his favourite local shops (p23) and we have details of the best places to eat out in Brighton and Hove in our weekly hotlist (p25). The thing about tricky political and economic times, is they tend to nurture good comedy. In her stand-up column, Victoria Nangle asks, will political comedy see a resurgence (p36)? See Jeff Hemmings’s art column on the same page for a new angle on living by the sea, with Greg Sturges’ exhibition of photography, acrylics and mixed media. Coolio came back onto the national radar during his appearance in last month’s Celebrity Big Brother. Now the American rapper is playing a gig in Brighton and Hove. So which ‘gangsta’ venue did his promoters pick for the show? Turn to Celebcity to find out... (p17). Flip over the magazine to find more columns, features and hundreds of properties for sale and rent in Latest Homes. This week read about exceptional new properties by Bloor Homes in Seaford (p17) and by Grenville Homes in Hove Park (p19).
4 How can you have the wedding of your dreams while watching the pennies?
7 On the cover: for an unforgettable wedding, try the Royal Pavilion
11 Pampering for brides and grooms at Beautique Brighton
★ latest listings 27–45 27 Reviews and listings Ed Byrne and Emmy The Great
28 Kids & Events Family magic show at The Rock and the Royal Pavilion Wedding Show
28 Books
13 Seann thinks we’ve got it wrong about teenagers
14 Social diary: Beautique Brighton party and Giraffe launch
14 Competitions: win DVDs 15 Dani doesn’t do liquid diets 16 Alison says hug a granny; Will says meat is marvellous
17 CelebCity: Coolio is coming to Brighton 18 Bare Cheek and stars: Mike Hunter and Astral Angi have all the answers.
19 Interview: Jeff Wayne, creator of the Musical War of the Worlds
Ex-newsreader Ed Mitchell’s riches to rags story reviewed
29 Stage Houdini’s Suitcase and Five Kinds of Silence
30 Film SEE Festival found David Notman-Watt on trailing cocaine with Alex James
32 Music Meet Longtomb, volunteer at The Great Escape and get tickets for Bloc Party Brighton Latest Download Chart
★ latest news 20–22
35 Clubs
20 The week in Brighton and Mary Mears
36 Comedy
on how to save on DVDs and books
21 Phil Mills on the former Brighton church-goer who may become a saint
22 Letters: What has Mary Mears done for you?
07
TOP
40
The best nights out according to Jaime and listings
11 17
Where are all the political comics?
36 Art Life by the sea with Greg Sturges
37 Gay The gay football challenge
22 Latest Sport on the Albion signings
★ latest lifestyle 23–26
38 TV Dani on Boys and Girls Alone, plus seven days of listings
19
23 Food shopping with Andrew 25 Hotlist. Enjoy food, enjoy life
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Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith
Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Business Director Angi Mariani
Editor Rachel Pegg
Creative Director Andrew Kay
Assistant Editor Zara Baker
Production Director Fiona McTernan
Music Editor Jeff Hemmings
Finance Manager Sharon Caple
Chief Sub Editor Alison Swann
Art Director Stephen King
Listings Editor Nick Aldwinckle
Production Manager Neil Ive
Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Staff Writers Will Harris Seann Walsh Dani Winch Sub Editor Joe Curtin Patrick O’Donnell Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer
Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Marie Viviani Advertising Sales Sophie Longhurst
30 38
Administration Claire Peerless Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH
Rachel Pegg Latest 7 Editor latest 7 3
004_LS411_ads
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52 Western Road, Hove (Near Palmeira Square) Metered parking on seafront
Tel: 01273 323046 brighton@perfectionbridalandmenswear.co.uk www.perfectionbridalandmenswear.co.uk
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WEDDINGS dresses or a modern trend, firstly sticking with your tastes and not ‘what’s hot.’ It’s possible to find your dream dress in a charity shop and even on the internet, that with slight alterations can be perfect. Likewise, off the rack in a bridal shop gives you the chance to compare dresses. Look out for sale days in bridal shops. Suddenly, a gorgeous silk taffeta material for sale in a too-dear four digit figure is affordable. The male members of the wedding party look great when they’re all matching but this can also be expensive. Look at hiring the suits for the weekend for the dads, best man and ushers. The groom can then stand out in a tailor-made creation he can keep.
Reception and added extras
A day to remember
Every couple envisage their wedding setting and may have different tastes. A modern hotel in the middle of the city to unique landmarks or a country manor house. Once you’ve secured the location, take out wedding insurance and pay the deposit. Most venues will ask for full payment about a fortnight before the wedding. If you’ve found the perfect venue and it’s stretched the budget, cut costs in other areas. Do you need everyone present at the ceremony to be at the meal? Do you even need the meal? Some choose to go straight on with the party with a bar for drinks and a buffet. If you choose to have a wedding breakfast, select close friends and family. Most importantly, find out what is included with the cost of the venue and food. A drink on arrival, canapés, wine with dinner and champagne for the toast may or may not be included in the pricing. Find out beforehand, as drinks not being included can suddenly add around a thousand pounds to the final bill (really!). Opt for drinks on arrival, one glass per person/or one bottle per table and a drink for toast and then explain that further drinks are paid for at the bar. Guests will understand.
Zara Baker looks at how you can make your wedding day extra special – whatever your budget With the average cost of a wedding creeping up and a country in financial crisis, many people are holding out on saying “I do.” Well, the world is still moving and for better or for worse, every couple should have their special day. So, remember a dream wedding is still possible with careful planning and help from friends and family.
for business, meaning competitive pricing and extra devoted care to customers. Set the budget for the venue, outfits, rings and food first off, paying deposits and securing the date you want. Take out wedding insurance – a must, even before the financial crisis reared its ugly head. Be realistic and the perfect day you imagine will slowly start to form.
Planning and budget
Suits you
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and nor was the dream wedding. It’s built on love – the solid foundation and starting point of your day. But a lot of organisation and extra careful budget planning is also necessary. I’d come off my wedding high but am now thrown back into the mix after the recent engagement of a close friend. Out come the magazines, emails back and forth and countless tips and advice. The first and foremost? Leave at least a year to save money, book things gradually and delegate tasks. The result is a personalised wedding day with extra special homemade touches. Set a budget and stick to it: whatever you think a wedding will cost, add a few noughts on and you’re probably there. We don’t all need an over glamourised big day, but a day that’s special with all the touches the couple want to see is what’s important. Credit crunch or not, venues and companies are around and looking
Every bride dreams of her wedding dress and wants it to be perfect. Magazines are the first port of call for ideas, but it’s only when you visit a dress shop like Perfection, it gets serious. As with any fashion, dresses change. Looking at a dress on a hanger is different to trying it on, as different styles with flatter. Look for timeless classics, vintage-style shorter
For the evening buffet, remember that most of the guests will have eaten at the breakfast and a lot of food goes to waste. Venues offer buffet price options when you will only pay for so many items per head or for around 75 per cent of the guests so costs can be cut down and minimal waste made. When it comes to the wedding cake (this can be dear) ask a friend or family member with experience in baking and decorating to make the cake as their wedding gift. Of course, there are some things you shouldn’t scrimp on – the rings and the wedding photographs. Shop around for photograph packages and see what’s included. Some photographers will give you copyright to their entire range of photos taken, while others will let you select just a few for print. It’s worth having the catalogue of memories for the whole day. Turn the page for everything you need when it comes to planning your wedding day…
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WEDDINGS
Wunderbar
House of love Stanmer House is a Grade I listed manor house, unique for its Brighton location. Set in the heart of the Sussex countryside, yet only minutes from the bustling city centre of Brighton, Stanmer House is the perfect venue for your wedding or civil partnership. The house and gardens provide a romantic backdrop that enhances the elegance of your day, ensuring a fairytale start to your marriage. Your wedding is one of the most exciting and important days of your life, and you can be assured that you will have their undivided attention. The events team recognise the need to create an entirely individual day for you to ensure your wedding is everything you have imagined it to be. The staff pride themselves on attention to detail and are on hand to provide assistance before, during and after your special day, ensuring you have peace of mind and a special day that lives up to your expectations. They have packages to suit all budgets, and also offer tailored and bespoke options. Stanmer House, Stanmer Park, Brighton, BN1 9QA. Call 01273 680400
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Fun and funky weddings are the business at Latest MusicBar. Latest MusicBar has fast become Brighton’s first choice for wedding and civil partnership parties, if the idea of corporate hospitality sends a chill down your spine. At Latest MusicBar we want to make you tingle with delight and with our relaxed atmosphere, flexible attitude and keen prices we are confident that we can do just that. If you want a themed party then talk to us; we have a wide range of options from canapés and full dinners to entertainers and bands. You want Elvis, we can get Elvis – well, almost. We have a variety of price options to suit every pocket, or you can simply tell us your budget and we will work out a great deal for you. Latest Musicbar, 14-17 Manchester Street, Brighton, BN2 1TF. To find out more call Ruth or Angi on 01273 687171 www.thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
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COVERSTORY
Make a date for the Royal Pavilion Wedding Fair, the place to make your big day dreams come true Built as King George IV’s pleasure palace when Brighton was the heart of fashionable Regency society, the Royal Pavilion was also used by King William IV and Queen Victoria. Today it has been restored to its original 1823 splendour with Indian architecture contrasted with interiors inspired by China. This breathtaking Regency palace offers a unique venue for civil wedding ceremonies and receptions in the heart of Brighton.
Weddings and Civil Partnerships The historic Red Drawing Room is the venue for civil marriage ceremonies at The Royal Pavilion. Retaining much of George IV’s original 1820s decorative scheme, the room features red dragon wallpaper and palm tree pillars. The Red Drawing Room can be booked for wedding ceremonies throughout the year and accommodates a maximum of 40 guests. Located on the ground floor of the Royal Pavilion and not open to the general public, the Red Drawing Room has a private entrance leading directly from the restored Regency gardens. The Red Drawing Room can be hired for ceremonies throughout the year (except Christmas Day and Boxing Day) between the hours of 11am and 5pm. Ceremonies are performed by the Brighton and Hove Register Office and an additional fee is payable directly to them for this service. Private guided tours of the palace can also be arranged for guests – at an extra charge. After the ceremony photographs of the married couple can be taken in the sumptuous Music Room, followed by group photographs in the delightful setting of the Regency Gardens.
Images courtesy of Lisa Devlin. www.devlinphotos.co.uk
Royal romance
The expert Royal Pavilion Weddings Team will be on hand to answer questions and supply details on all aspects of the facilities and arrangements. Exhibitors will include Joanne Fleming and Renaissance Creative Design (bridal fashions), Brighton TukTuks (unique transport), Iced Gem Cakes, Pollen and Fitzherberts (florists). Harpist Andrew Ballantyne will play a series of short sets throughout the day in the Music Room and guitar duo Carillon will play in the William IV Room. For further details about the Royal Pavilion Wedding Fair or about holding your ceremony at the Royal Pavilion contact the Functions Team, call 03000 290904 or email: pavilionweddings@brighton-hove.gov.uk or visit www.royalpavilion.org.uk for a full list of exhibitors.
Receptions Situated on the first floor above the Red Drawing Room the King William IV Room offers an elegant setting for both day and evening receptions. Decorated in Chinese style, this light and airy room features beautiful hand-painted wallpaper. The room accommodates 60 people for a seated dinner. Catering is supplied by one of our approved caterers and the functions team can advise on a caterer to suit your needs. The William IV Room also benefits from its own private entrance leading directly from the Royal Pavilion gardens. The Royal Pavilion can be hired for your reception even if you are not holding your ceremony at the Pavilion. Please note that as an historic building the Royal Pavilion is not suitable for parties and dancing is not permitted.
The Royal Pavilion Wedding Fair – Sunday 22 February 2009, 10am-4pm The Fair is an ideal opportunity for anyone planning a wedding or civil partnership to visit the spectacular Royal Pavilion and meet a wide variety of local wedding suppliers. Now in its eighth year, the Wedding Fair is popular with both suppliers and visitors. Exhibitors from all over the region take part including a wide range of photographers, caterers, florists and wedding outfitters. Each will show an excellent range of what they offer and talk in detail about their services. latest 7 7
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WEDDINGS
Perfect fit Perfection bridal and menswear are situated in Western Road, Hove – close to Palmeira Square. As well as stocking the entire Perfection collection they also stock collections from Amanda Wyatt, Phil Collins, Trudy Lee and Mori Lee; so whatever your style or budget, Perfection have the dress for you. To co-ordinate your weddding they also have a fantastic range of bridesmaid dresses available from age two through to a size 30 in a wonderful choice of fabrics and colours. For the groom, Perfection menswear have a large selection of morning tails, prince edward and lounge suits available to hire or buy, Hire prices start at only £39.95. Their experienced staff will be happy to help you co-ordinate waistcoats and accessories to make your wedding day perfection. For everything under one roof visit Perfection Bridal & Menswear, 52 Western Road, Hove, BN3 1JD. Call 01273 323046 or brighton@perfectionbridalandmenswear.co.uk www.perfectionbridalandmenswear.co.uk
It’s all about you Because everybody deserves a special and unique wedding day, Viva Verde florists offer a bespoke service tailored to match each client’s needs. With a personalised service, from the introductory consultation right up to the big day itself. Working closely with each couple, they can help to interpret ideas and make each wedding unique. They take pleasure in knowing that they can work to any style or budget and that no two weddings will ever be the same. Please call the shop to arrange a free consultation. Viva Verde Flowers & Plants, 4 Richardson Rd, www.viva-verde.com, Call 01273 733321
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WEDDINGS
Love symbol
Sea view ceremony
So you’re taking the plunge and planning that most special of all days. You've got the great venue, the invitations have all been sent and the food is going to be out of this world! Now all you need is that timeless symbol of your commitment to each other – the perfect ring. And if by the perfect ring you mean handcrafted to your specific requirements after a personal design consultation with guidance on everything from materials to measurements, then look no further than Julian Stephens Goldsmith in Brightons North Laine. The bespoke service that Julian offers is one based on over fifteen years experience as a professional goldsmith. With a warm, easy manner he will guide you through those important decisions and ensure that you and your loved one have rings matching up to all your expectations…only better! Come on in for a no obligation chat and then just leave the rest to us. Julian Stephens Goldsmith, 37 Gloucester Road, Brighton, 01273 692110
Offering one of the most unique coastal settings, with the option of exclusive use, Brighton Marina’s Seattle Hotel continues to be one of Sussex’s most popular wedding venues. Having been transformed last year with a luxurious upgrade and stunning new restaurant and bar, opened in November, Seattle is much more than just a room with a view. Both marriage and commitment ceremonies can take place at the hotel with a choice of three exceptional private function rooms which can be used together or individually. Each can accommodate up to 40 guests and with exclusive use the maximum capacity is 120 guests (ceremony and wedding breakfast) and up to 200 guests for evening reception. Wedding ‘taster’ days will be taking place at the hotel on Sunday 28 February and Sunday 20 September 2009, offering couples the opportunity to see the lavish new space that has been created; sample the menus; soak up the spectacular views and take advantage of some great discounts including 10 per cent off their wedding bill for bookings made on the day. For more information on weddings at Hotel Seattle visit www.hotelseattlebrighton.com or contact events co-ordinator, Gemma Hanley, call 01273 679799
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WEDDINGS
Designer style
Picture perfect
The O Zone in Brighton’s North Laine has a reputation for creating something a little different for the modern bride and groom. For the bride: a carefully chosen collection of gowns from some of the leading designers in the world with prices ranging from £300–£2,000. The selection includes gowns from award-winning Ian Stuart – British Bridal Designer of the Year 2004 to 2007; Linea Raffaelli, Chanticleer, Charlotte Balbier, Alfred Sung and Marylise. New for 2009 Rembo Styling: to complement the bride, a comprehensive range of bridesmaid dresses from New York designer Dessy, with over 100 sample dresses to choose from in a wide selection of fabrics and colours. For the groom, a selection of the latest quality formal suits to hire or buy, from traditional tails to lightweight suits with waistcoats, ties, cravats and cufflinks to match. The O Zone, 21-23 Church Street, Brighton, BN1 1RB. Call 01273 739500 www.ozoneweddings.co.uk
Established as a specialist wedding photographer in 1994, Paul Fletcher offers a natural ‘journalistic’ approach to wedding photography, creating wonderful images that are timeless and fun. Paul attributes his success to building an excellent rapport with his clients, good preparation, creativity and boundless energy. Paul offers a DVD image-only coverage and a variety of image books to suit most budgets. If you are looking for a great wedding photographer, who will create beautiful images at a competitive price, call Paul Fletcher Photography on 07803 935555 or www.paulfletcherphotography.co.uk. Meet Paul in person at the Stanmer House wedding fair on Sunday 15 March or call to arrange an individual appointment.
Contemporary Bridal and Menswear 21-23 Church Street, Brighton BN11RB. 01273 739500 www.ozoneweddings.co.uk
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HEALTH
See more health tips at wavemagazine.co.uk
Pamper Days for Brides & Hens
Get
gorgeous Planning a hen do or pre-wedding pampering? Let Beautique Brighton help you prepare for the big day A lot of preparation – often months and sometimes years – goes into planning a wedding. If your big day is this spring or summer, chances are, you’re getting to the final series of preparations. Amid appointments, arranging invitations and seating plans, make the time for yourself, as no-one wants a burned-out couple come the big day. Relax and unwind with the help of Beautique Brighton, who have a variety of packages to help you look your best and feel completely relaxed and pampered in the build up to the day itself. This is what every blushing bride and handsome groom needs. Some treatments and packages are exclusive in Brighton to Beautique, including the ultimate OXYjet star facial, which uses oxygen to boost collagen in the skin – an easy way to achieve fresh, smooth skin, as skin is left plumper, with fine lines and wrinkles reduced. Beautique Brighton is the ideal hen day getaway: spend time in the calm surroundings and experience a rejuvenating facial, relaxing massage or OPI manicure. Group packages are available with half hour blocks for treatments. Between treatments, indulge in a delicious buffet lunch and glass of bubbly in the party room – available to groups free of charge. Sometimes, the happy couple may want to get away before the big day, and a massage in Beautique’s twin treatment room is the perfect pre-wedding gift to
each other. A special couples package reduces the cost and lets you have valuable and relaxing time together. For the bride and other female members of the wedding party, start a beauty regime around six months before the wedding. Most of us feel healthy and look glowing with a natural tan and the St Tropez spray tan, available at Beautique, is the best way to achieve this. Eyebrow shaping will keep brows perfectly groomed and draw attention to the eyes. Beautique also offer eyelash tinting and perm for long, defined lashes before a coat of mascara is even applied. Rid the body of unwanted hair with waxing treatments, carried out by the experienced staff at Beautique. The bride may be wearing a traditional long white dress but there’s the wedding night and honeymoon to think of, where perfectly smooth skin is definitely the order of the day! With late openings and convenient city centre location, Beautique Brighton is the place for the happy couple, hen party and families to stop by en-route to the big day. Before saying ‘I do,’ do beauty at Beautique. Beautique Brighton, 14 Ship Street, Brighton, BN1 1AD. Call 01273 711077, www.beautiquebrighton.com. Escape and unwind couple packages start at £90 per couple. Various group packages are available catering to individual needs. Please contact Beautique for more information.
If you would like to comment on this story please email editorial@thelatest.co.uk
• Come and enjoy our luxury party room • Pre-wedding treatments leading up to that special day • Group bookings • Luxury Hen experience • Food and drink menus available from £6.75 per person • Goodie bags with a discount on your next visit.
We can build packages to suit, starting from as little as £10 through a range of prices and packages to our ultimate Hen Package at £75. On your wedding anniversary come back to us for a 50% discount on a pamper package.
Beautique Brighton 14 Ship Street, Brighton, BN1 1AD 01273 711077
Win 50% off your Hen Party at Beautique Brighton Please send a postcard with your name, address, date of wedding and telephone number or email your details info@beautiquebrighton.com 1st Prize: 50% off Hen Party Package 2nd & 3rd Prize: Free bottle of champagne with your hen package. latest 7 11
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latest
01273 687171
musicbar
The city’s hottest live music and party venue
tues feb 17
malcolm holcombe + the righteous ones + porchlight smoker the new king of americana with great rootsy support 8pm £6/£5
wed feb 18
the sly-tones + syd arthur double header with two of the uk’s top psychedelic bands 8pm £4/3
gay tango workshop tango lessons for all! 7.30pm £10
thurs feb 19
have fun! with venetia & the voltage big electronics & fun with guitars & DJs 8pm £4/3
fri feb 20
itchy fingers + marcus dilly if you like southern-
oxjam: girls with guitars
fuelled rock then this is your
+ betty lawrence + phily k
ultimate night out 8pm £6/5
8pm £5
charlie jones + kelly & jade
sat feb 21
brighton youth stick it on orchestra open decks; your string chance of DJ ensemble superstardom 7.30pm £5/3 10.30pm til 2.30am £8
sun feb 22
roast n jazz with special guest sam chara 12.30pm til 3.30pm £10 inc lunch
mon feb 23
breakthrough with rough trade feat rob the rich + lets tea party + the morning orchestra + the fusion 7.30pm £3
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CITYSPEAKS
See more at thelatest.co.uk
Seann’s world Seann Walsh feels the youth voice is too loud and it’s time for adults to be heard
Teenage kicks Teenagers are not a homogeneous group. That probably seems obvious to you. So obvious, in fact, that it comes across as a stupid thing to say; rendered in simplistic, declarative language to give it a false air of profundity. Something obvious like, “You cannot swim where it isn’t wet,” or “Scottish people are pretty much incomprehensible.” But please be aware that it is obvious to you because you are what’s known as a ‘person’, or ‘human’, which is a different thing to the following: TV producers; record label executives; film producers; media types; bad (yet successful) journalists. I know that they are technically people, in the strict biological sense. But there must be something missing. There must be some neurological blunder that precludes the realisation that young people are no more important than everyone else.
When I was at school, the young people who were obsessed with having ‘a voice’ joined debating clubs and said things like, “We are the future,” and, “If we don’t have a youth club, we’ll all take drugs, have sex and stab each other.” Of course, no one wanted to take drugs or have sex with these people, and everyone was far too busy taking drugs and having sex to find the time to stab them. But the obsession continues. Television presenters are getting younger and younger, and stupider and stupider. Nowadays, the presenter’s role is that of a cool older sibling, a callow fashionista whose responsibility it is to have hair that you’re jealous of. They’ve even done it to children’s TV. Look at Dick and Dom in da Bungalow, a programme that essentially worships everything that happens in toilets except cottaging and needle sharing, presented by two people who probably think it’s funny when old people fall over on buses. The only genre that hasn’t suffered the widespread defilement of this sort is news. Even Channel 4, which is at the vanguard of youth-driven stupidity, allows Jon Snow, a man who has grey hair, to read the headlines. But it probably won’t be long before some shiny, skinnyjeaned know-nothing hands over to the ‘Politix Xpert’, who declares that: “Obama’s speech was proper sick.” Young people may well be the future, but adults are the present, and their misrepresentation and absence from popular culture is sick. And by that I mean ‘vomit inducing’.
“It won’t be long before some skinny-jeaned knownothing hands over to the ‘Politix Xpert’, who declares that: ‘Obama’s speech was proper sick’” These people in the media, whose job it is to interpret the zeitgeist, seem to be possessed by an intense fear of ‘alienating’ young people. They are determined to be seen to give youth ‘a voice’. Youth has a voice; it’s a loud voice that you hear on buses, talking in repetitive, colourless language about nothing in particular. It’s the voice of people who haven’t grown up; who make mistakes; who talk nonsense; who are self-obsessed and callow. These perfectly innocent traits are a part of growing up. They are things that we shed (and in some cases retain) as we become adults. And they are all things that young people have in common. It is absurd to pitch things according to this myth of The Youth as a uniform group of people. In fact, it is an insult to the very people it attempts to appeal to. There are teenagers who use the word ‘sick’ to mean ‘vomit’ rather than ‘good’. There are teenagers who watch BBC4, which is above BBC3 by one channel and one million brain cells.
Comments? Get in touch: letters@thelatest.co.uk
latestcrossword Cryptic 181 ACROSS 7 Composer with a missing ear shows where weapon is kept (7) 8 One goes with a fellow first as a craze (5) 9 Piece of information extracted from guard at umpteenth attempt (5) 10 Elk taking rest disturbed by bird of prey (7) 11 Cliff river taking four directions through ingenuity (10) 14 Drinking regime in which Peter can get me involved (10) 17 Slim number turn to circle America (7) 19 Man follows road a long way (5) 20 Spill black stuff around Portuguese borders (5) 21 New soldier does it two ways leans over (7)
solutions on page 37
Quick 181 DOWN 1 Dish created from empty talk (7) 2 Pest made wild rush (8) 3 Brother Kenneth in reduced circumstances - that is, ruined (6) 4 Man in Samoa loses article in upheaval (4) 5 Religious leader caught in a three-way trap (5) 6 Alan, briefly caught by lack of speed, has yellowish appearance (10) 9 Remove head from a pet cat and die in contortions (10) 12 Frenchman changes the game in disorderly performance (8) 13 Expert from Los Angeles in nasty turn (7) 15 Soft colour that dad allows to rise (6) 16 Bird found in misshapen conifers (5) 18 Most of the time they're yours and mine (4)
ACROSS 7 Carnal (7) 8 Fruit tree (5) 9 Egg-shaped (5) 10 Reparation (7) 11 Scientific practice (10) 14 Make poor (10) 17 Daily (7) 19 Dull blow (5) 20 Insect movement (5) 21 Religious community (7)
DOWN 1 Payment request (7) 2 Part of intestines (8) 3 Flowery (6) 4 Unfeeling (4) 5 Mermaid (5) 6 Moral control (10) 9 Bizarre (10) 12 Salutation (8) 13 Asphalt (7) 15 Rectangular (6) 16 Wall decoration (5) 18 Stupefied (4)
latest 7 13
014_LS411_Diary/Comps
2/12/09
5:16 PM
Page 2
LATESTDIARY
COMPETITIONS
latestdiary With Tim Richardson
IN IT TO WIN IT
Beautique’s education evening
Law & Order S.6 DVD
Beautique Brighton at 14 Ship Street invited people along to an educational evening where they could have all their questions answered in regards to the latest treatments regarding botox, dermal fillers and thread vein removal. Their new medical aesthetic practitioner Monica Wedlin, a Harley Street medical aesthetic specialist with 11 years of experience in anti-ageing procedures, was able to guide people through the successes and safety of the “liquid face lift” and discussed the latest techniques in dermal fillers. Monica has a degree in Applied Medical Sciences and is also a fully registered nurse and has been a teacher trainer for doctor and nurse practitioners in the use of dermal injectables for eight years. In addition, she has featured in major fashion magazines in Australia. Treatments she will be providing are botox, dermal injections, sclerotherapy, skin peels and the liquid face lift. For further information visit www.beautiquebrighton.com
Monica Wedlin (Medical Aesthetic Specialist) and Sarah Asgari (Beautique Brighton)
With the Law & Order UK series hitting our screens next week with Bradley Walsh, this is your chance to catch the original classic US crime series. To enter tell us: In which famous US city is the US Law & Order series 6 set?
Special Victims Unit S.7 DVD Crime drama continues with a new DVD boxset spin-off from the Law & Order series. Don’t miss a second of this latest series of action. For a chance to win a copy, tell us: SVU is a spin-off of which popular US show?
Raging Bull MGM and 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment release the Scorsese and Robert De Niro classic for the first time on Blu-ray. We have two copies up for grabs. To enter tell us: What is De Niro’s profession as Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull? (Entrants must be aged 18 and over)
Get Smart Juice 107.2FM team
Giraffe taster There’s a ‘new animal in town’ and it goes by the name of Giraffe. We were invited to an exclusive preview of the all-new Giraffe Brighton on the corner of Jubilee Street and North Road for a meal before their official launch. Giraffe is all about freshly cooked food, great people and world music. The menu is inspired by the best flavours from around the world and includes all day brunch, appetizer nibbles, stacked high gourmet burgers, superfood healthy salads, Asian stir-fries, amazing desserts, fair trade coffee, freshly made smoothies, cocktails, beers and carefully selected wines. Giraffe is somewhere relaxed where people can have a great coffee and freshly cooked food at any time of day – all to the spirited sounds of world music so you could imagine yourself being anywhere from Sydney to Israel – somewhere sunny and full of smiles. For more information visit www.giraffe.net
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Warner Home Video release the ultimate secret agent film and we have three copies to give away! Starring Steve Carell and Dwayne Johnson, this is a hilarious spy story. Tell us: What was Dwayne Johnson’s WWE alias?
Steve Watson (Giraffe Supervisor), Pauline Barlow (Giraffe General Manager) and Gareth Edwards (Giraffe Assistant Manager)
To win, email: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the prize you wish to win in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: Monday 2 March
015_LS411_Dani
2/12/09
5:55 PM
Page 1
See more at thelatest.co.uk
Dani’s diary Dani is not impressed by the shake and starve approach to weight loss
No quick fix The new year brings a few things for certain: snow in February, disappointment at returning back to work and diets. And it appears that the new diet fad is to eat nothing and drink copious amounts of ‘shakes’. Is that in any way at all good for you? You may lose weight – anyone who stops eating solid foods will lose weight, but I imagine they will also lose quite a few vitamins along the way. The most common complaint with these diets is once you stop drinking the liquidated milkshake food replacement and start eating normally you put the weight straight back on. The thing that gets me is the fact that people think they will keep the weight off in the first place.
“Losing weight will not solve any of your problems. The confidence you are looking for will not come when you reach your goal weight“ For every new diet that hits the supermarket shelves there is more evidence that vegetables and a gym membership is the best way to go. When will we learn that there is no easy fix? Some people spend their whole life on a continual diet – choosing to look for the quick ‘drink yourself thin’ fix. Is this because exercise and eating healthy is too hard? I understand that everyone can be tempted towards a slice of chocolate cake, but if you have enough willpower to not chew at all for a week, surely you can cut out the calories in a more sensible way by only chewing good food and less frequently, (or more frequently is apparently the best thing to do, if you choose to lose weight, eat six small meals a day and have no food after 6pm). Of course, if you are on the liquid diet you are allowed to eat one meal a day, in the evening and guess what? Soup is recommended – with no bread – so you are not really eating at all.
Our obsession to be ultra thin is slightly bizarre, if you pick up any women’s magazine I can almost guarantee that there will be at least one article in it about how great it is to be a regular size 10 to 12 and yet on the next page there will be a diet plan to aid the reader when attempting to get to that so called perfect size 2. Take it from me, being small is not all it is cracked up to be. And it may come as a surprise to many of you, but putting on weight can be just as hard as losing it. At least when you are a healthy size you can buy clothes to fit! There are only a few women who can actually look like women while being unusually slim. Because when weight falls off your bum and hips it also drops off your boobs – and looking like a 12-year-old boy is not fun for anyone unless you are a 12-year-old boy! Losing weight will not solve any of your problems (obviously if you‘re morbidly obese losing weight is a pretty important) but a size 12 wanting to be a size 8 – the confidence you are looking for will not come when you reach your goal weight. Did the incredibly annoying Gok Wan and Myleene Class not teach us anything? If everyone looked the same the world would be really boring. The ideals that we see on the cover of magazines are just a fluke – and airbrushed. No matter how much you think you want your ribs to show, trust me you don’t. The world does not become your oyster when you can slip through a floorboard. It becomes increasingly uncomfortable to sit down on a hard surface. If you want to lose weight the best way to do so is to change your lifestyle, not the amount of solid foods you intake! Once your course of milkshakes have finished what are you going to do? Eating again will only cause you to put the weight lost back on! And no rolling of the eyes – quick fixes do not work. Just like anything in life, you can use gaffa tape to secure your light to your car, but eventually you will need to take the time to fix it properly otherwise it will just keep falling off. I am worried that one day I may have children who grow up thinking they are never good enough purely because they are either slightly bigger or smaller than someone else.
What’s the point? A report commissioned by The Children’s Society called A Good Childhood: Searching for Values in a Competitive Age says that the aggressive pursuit for personal success by adults is now a great threat to British children. It suggests abolishing SAT tests and league tables in English schools. To be perfectly honest – I am sure I have heard this before but nothing happens about it! These tests never made any sense to me when I was a child and they still don’t now. When we sat the tests we were never given any real reason for it until we were heading for secondary school and we were told it was to judge what level we should be in at big school. We were however told how the school had done in the SATs. What a large amount of pressure to be put on the heads of such young children. Sitting your first tests are scary, and really annoying when you realise it is pretty much not entirely necessary!
Comments? Get in touch: dani@thelatest.co.uk
Roast Jazz
&
Every Sunday from 12.30 £10 including lunch Sunday 22 February Sam Chara Sunday 1Mar Mike Mayfield & Carl Hudson
Sunday 8 Mar Ela Southgate
01273 687171 14–17 manchester street latest 7 15
016_LS411_will/alison
2/12/09
11:08 AM
Page 2
CITYSPEAKS
Swanning around
Man on a mission
Alison Swann plays the generation game and finds friends where least expected
This week carnivore Will Harris eschews meat to spend a week as a vegetarian
How many old people do you know? I mean really know? Actually to talk to rather than to nod at in a whimsical way as you sprint on down the street. Unless you are an old person, live with an old person or work with an old person, I bet you don’t know any. But as we race through this millennium, and fewer babies are born and life expectancy increases, logic dictates that should change. A study by the BBC World Service has actually estimated that more than a third of people will be over 60 by the end of the century. I’ve met three old people during my extended tenure in Brighton. Winnie the octogenarian mother of a drag queen I met out clubbing a hundred million years ago. When I was dragged back at god-knows-what o’clock to meet said drag queen’s mum, Winnie was fantastically delighted to crack open the Tetley box and chastise her son for wearing too much make-up as I marvelled at her shag pile. Next up was the Major, who guarded the block of flats I lived within on the seafront. We didn’t develop an immediate bond. My inability to shut the main front door without allowing it to slam created a stand off that would have made Palestine and Israel look like a little tiff. My main objection was that when he appeared, stick in hand, to chastise me, he
“Husband number five had been dispatched and she was on the lookout for the next rung on her bedpost – despite being well over seventy“ couldn’t hear a bloody thing. Why was a man who I had to use sign-language to communicate with face-to-face so bothered by a creaking door slam? I realised at some point that it was all a ruse, a reason to have someone to speak to and from then on, his hearing aid turned up and ready to roll, me and the Major were mates. It took a few more years for another older person to appear in my life, she came in the shape of Lucy, who appeared at a friend’s art exhibition and fell in love with everything my friend had painted. I soon discovered that far from being a timid old lady, she was a right filth bag. Husband number five had recently been dispatched and she was on the lookout for the next rung on her bedpost – despite being well over seventy. I like old people, I am fascinated by their stories and their lives. Also highly entertained by how spectacularly bonkers some of them are and acutely aware of the wisdom some can impart. Although I’m not signing up to the theory that all are wonderful beings. They are just the same as the rest of us, only older. Living in a town totally geared up to the celebration of all things youth orientated can mean we miss out. Older people do live here, are [hopefully] reading this magazine, but there is a massive lack of communication between the generations. I am not suggesting that we start wheeling a load of older people down West Street and see how that works as a social experiment. But I do wonder if there is a middle ground, where we can all meet – as I am sure it’s a quid pro quo situation and we could all learn from each other. Meanwhile, I’ve got my auntie Lyn (70) and granny Joyce (93) to keep me in check. Lyn’s yet to lap fifty in her head and looks twenty years younger than her three score and ten. Joyce still rams her swollen feet into stilettos, when coaxed out of the house. My mum tells me, on a weekly basis, ‘she hasn’t a clue who we are now, you know.’ True or not, when I see my gran’s skinny little blue-veined hand stealing wine from the table even though she ‘doesn’t really drink’, I know there’s life and fun in her yet. And I’m sure she isn’t alone. 16 latest 7
Back in 2004, a panel of greenie types voted Brighton the best destination for vegetarians in the UK. On Valentine’s Day that same year, I greeted this accolade by treating the vegetarian I was then dating to a candle-lit dinner at a steakhouse, where all but two of the menu options had recently had a pulse, and even the candle looked like it’d been rendered down from the contents of an abattoir bin. As you might guess, the rib-eye stayed in my system longer than the relationship. Five years on and though my sweet Valentine may have changed, my views on vegetarianism are as bloodthirsty as they ever were. Yes, if meat really is murder, I would probably best be described as the Harold Shipman of the carnivore world, prolific and unapologetic to the end. Still, I’ve committed myself to this week’s challenge (Number 17 – Attempt a week as a vegetarian), so it’s out with the offal and in with the new potatoes as I prepare for my rehabilitation. On day one, a sojourn to the supermarket yields a surprising range of veggie alternatives that – despite the fact they appear to have been packaged by a six-yearold with a predilection for drawing blades of grass – actually look like they might not taste how I imagine (ie: like grout). Arriving home, I visit the web address printed on my packet of nut cutlets in search of recipe ideas and am greeted by yet another drawing of a blade of grass surmounting the following important nutritional information: ‘Tofu Mania! We are crazy about tofu!’
“I briefly entertain the notion that I’ve become the world’s gayest werewolf, then remember that they rarely pause to marinade” As an opening statement, this worries me. I wonder if it’s a lifetime deprived of the joys of streaky bacon that gives vegetarians this maniacal edge, or if they genuinely have a passion for colourless, flavourless lumps of curd. My best guess is that, after years at the mercy of endless rounds of mung bean casserole, they’ve developed the dietary equivalent of Stockholm syndrome and would rather die than betray their veggie captors. On day three, I get a headache – a vibrant slice of pain that attacks me like a bone saw and resists medication. The Vegetarian Society tells me it’s not unusual to experience side effects when going cold Quorn turkey, and that I’m probably suffering withdrawal symptoms from the various hormones and nasties contained in packaged meat. For the first time this week this gives me food for thought, although this does little to feed my near-constant cravings. In the end, I manage to hold out until the morning of day six, when I wake up with a steel-drum soundtrack in my skull, a gap in my shortterm memory and what appears to be blood all over my bed. Cautiously I raise a pillowcase to my nose and sniff. Right. It’s barbecue sauce. Further excavations under the duvet uncover several small bones and the unmistakable aroma of something char-grilled. I briefly entertain the notion that I’ve become the world’s gayest werewolf, then remember that they rarely pause to marinade. No, it looks like I’ve failed in my task, and in doing so I’ve let you down, I’ve let myself down, and I’ve definitely let down whatever the half-chewed beast in my bed was. At least, that’s what it looks like. It’s a good job I put the word ‘attempt’ in the challenge, isn’t it?
For comments and chit chat email letters@thelatest.co.uk
017_LS411_celebcity
2/12/09
6:07 PM
Page 1
AROUNDTOWN
sponsored by
Celebcity with Jo Brooks
City cool off
was Ditchling-based actress Greta Scacchi. Greta, most famous for her role in the film White Mischief, has lived in Sussex for many years.
Flett gets social Also spotted having lunch was author, journalist and social commentator, Kathryn Flett – if you haven’t read Kathryn’s novel Heart Shaped Bullett – then go to the library and get a copy. It’s a brilliant read!
Coolio’s Hove gig; Doctor Who’s a Kook fan and it’s a busy week of celeb spotting in the city Hove paradise After his recent appearance on Celebrity Big Brother, 90s gangsta rapper Coolio will be playing a gig at the Old Market in Hove on Tuesday 5 May. The Grammy Award-winning and multi-platinum selling artist, composer and actor remains one of the most popular and successful rappers worldwide – although I can only name one hit – ‘Gangsta’s Paradise’! To date, he has sold over 30 million records globally and has performed in concerts to adoring fans in Africa, Israel, Russia, Japan, Thailand, Brazil, Australia, Turkey and throughout Europe. In the diversified hip hop industry, Coolio is one of the few rap artists who has been able to garner mainstream success and critical acclaim. He won a Grammy Award in 1996 for Best Rap Performance and Solo for his international hit single, ‘Gangsta’s Paradise’ which also featured prime place on the Dangerous Minds soundtrack. ‘Gangsta’s Paradise’ was also nominated for a Grammy for Best Song of the Year. It has since sold over four million copies and has been credited as Billboard Magazine’s Number one single of 1995. Tickets are now on sale priced at £15 in advance and are
available from The Old Market Box Office on 01273 736222 or book online at www.theoldmarket.co.uk Also playing at the Old Market soon are The Blockheads on the 11 April and a disco classic diva, Candi Staton on 25 February.
Who’s a fan? Brighton-based indie band The Kooks can add a new celebrity fan to their list. Actor Matt Smith who has just landed the job as the new Dr Who, was wowed by the band’s gig at the Monarch in Camden. It seems that Matt has now joined the infamous Camden Caners, who also include Noel Fieding, Sarah Harding and, the most famous member, Amy Winehouse.
Will steps out Spotted out and about in the city last week were firstly Will Young, walking along Marine Parade, wearing a classic Crombie coat, mirror aviators and a spring in his step. He was looking pretty pleased with himself – probably after his appearance on BBC1’s debate show, Question Time!
Coolio
Mischief reigns Spotted in the North Laine walking past Wagamama,
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com
10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of March 2009 excluding Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers
To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk
latest 7 17
018_LS411_cheeky/stars
2/11/09
2:28 PM
Page 2
ONLY JOKING!
See more at thelatest.co.uk
Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
What was that? Can’t remember the name of an obscure film, book, TV show, or whatever? Ask Mike Hunter, the man with all the answers Dear Mike, When I was a kid I remember going on a school trip that was one of the best days out in my life. They took us to this big museum full of natural history specimens – hundreds and thousands of them. There were mammals and reptiles of every variety, fish and birds, insects and arachnids, rare fossils, a giant blue whale suspended from the ceiling and, best of all, an enormous, fossilised diplodocus towering over the entrance hall. I am now a teacher myself, and would dearly love to take my own class to this same museum. I seem to recall that the building, possibly Italianate in style, was situated somewhere in Kensington, but cannot for the life of me remember its name. Whenever I ask my fellow staff, they simply shake their heads in sorry bewilderment. Please tell me as I’m beginning to think I have quite departed from all reason. Yours, Graham, Hove. Dear Graham, Don’t worry – you’re not losing your mind. Forgetting a name is perfectly ‘natural’; ‘history’ is littered with so many examples they could fill up a ‘museum’ themselves.The place you so
enjoyed visiting as a child was, of course, The Raymond Revue Bar, now The Soho Revue Bar, on Brewer Street, London. Dear Mike, I remember watching a film musical with my grandmother once that was one of her favourites. It starred Gene Kelly, Debbie Reynolds and the somewhat less well known Donald O’Connor, who performed an extraordinary number where he appeared to run up walls. The plot, as far as I can recall, concerned Hollywood’s awkward transition from the silent era to the dawn of the talkies. There were a lot of famous songs, including ‘Good Morning’ and ‘All I Do’, a very long dance routine – almost a ballet – featuring the impossibly long-legged Cyd Charisse, and, most magical of all, a sequence in which Gene Kelly danced around, gaily splashing about in puddles and singing in the pouring rain. I loved this feel-good confection and would like to get hold of it on DVD, but its title has completely slipped my memory. Could you please throw some light on this matter? Yours very much in the dark, Anne, Portslade
Astral Angi
★Finding truth in the stars★
This week Astral is touchy feely about felines
Dear Anne, Always happy to oblige.The film musical you seek is that mirthfilled, merry masterpiece, I Spit On Your Grave, directed and written by Meir Zarchi in 1978. It is currently available as a DVD from Amazon.com. Dear Mike, Every year, for as long as I can remember, there is one particular day when everyone I know gives me cards and presents and makes a fuss of me. When I was a child, my parents would actually go as far as to hold a party on this day, inviting all my friends along to play games, and fashioning a fancy cake bearing candles that, according to some strange custom, I was called upon to blow out while making a wish. As the years passed, it
became more customary for my friends to gather with me at a pub, rather than my parents’ house, and buy me drinks, but somehow the spirit of the occasion remained unchanged. On certain years, only a few people that I was not especially fond of turned up to mark this day, and I remember feeling somehow disappointed, but managed not to show it. I feel sure that another such occasion is due, and would like to alert all my friends and family and thus avoid feeling such disappointment again. Could you please tell me the name of this special day so I can invite them along? Yours, Steve, Rottingdean. Dear Steve, All I can do is wish you ‘many happy returns’ in advance, for the day you refer to is none other than 12 March – World Kidney Day. Keep those queries coming in!
Mike
Spotted!
With a Shakespearian fool
Marry i’faith, who steps West Street’s portals, and – like to the braggart finch – doth strut betimes? ‘Tis Mark Owen. Hold thy peace. Marry, nuncles, he hath supped canary, i’faith, with friends and kin both and, being well versed in womenflesh, hath the serving wench’s eye. But will, i’ the morn, the cock crow? ‘Tis Calum Best. (STRUMS LUTE) (SINGS) When I was young, i’faith, i’faith, The wind did blow each day, A young lass lay on the sands, on the sands,
Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!
And her name was… Davina McCall. (DANCES A MERRY CAPER) I’faith, fortune’s a peascod! Pah! What hath a mare that a midwife hath not? Fetlocks i’faith – though the weather be merry. (MOOD DARKENS) What’s a man, i’faith, but a soiled rag? Ask not poor Tom what did Jamie Oliver at Blanch House, for this poor fool is mad. (SINGS) Tarradiddle tarradiddle who is he? That sits ‘pon The Level supping tea? Tarradiddle tarradiddle who be he? Tarradiddle tarradiddle Joe Pasquale.
BARDSLEY’S
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)
CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)
LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)
If Aries were a cat it would be a wild and woolly stray, a troublesome cat with a tendency to forget its way home. Bad cat Aries! Change your ways and start to behave.
Cancer cat is crazy cat, wild at heart and borderline feral. Try taming Cancer cat and be prepared to be hissed at and scratched. On the other hand you could have a truly wild time.
It would be so nice to describe Libra cat, but where do you start? You see, Libra cat is a copycat, always wanting to be something else. Strike out Libra and be yourself for once.
CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19). Capricorn cat is timid and shy, most likely to hide behind the furniture and avoid contact. Great sport can be made of cornering a Capricorn cat and discussing intimate matters.
TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)
LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)
SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)
AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)
The Taurean cat is, on the other hand, something of an earth mother, warm, loving and almost permanently up the duff. As a consequence you should avoid Aries at all costs.
Leo cat is predictably pretentious and full of it. Full of what? You may well ask. Leo is a pussy in lion’s clothing, look behind the roar and what you find is more likely to be raw.
Scorpio moggy is Master Mog, Mutant Ninja Mog, The Mog Formerly Known As Prince. There is the clue, Prince is a dog’s name. Come on, say after me: “I am a cat, not a dog”.
Aquarius cat is predictably weird, loves water and pulling practical jokes. Fun loving at all times, they also have little ability to take anything seriously and make very bad nuns.
GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)
VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)
SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)
PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)
Gemini cat is a sex kitten: kitten heels, leopard print ski pants and flicky-up hairdo – and that’s just the boys. Okay if you are under 21 but really, once you hit 22 it’s not a good look.
Virgo cat is a domestic cat and most likely to be found in the kitchen. Not that it will be doing anything of any value, no. More likely it will be fast asleep on or by the combi boiler.
Sagittarius cat is dogged, a workhorse cat but one who prefers to slog rather than engage its brain. Which is just as well as we can’t all be boss cat can we?
Pisces cat is like a ship’s cat, constantly on the look out for mice and rats. Invaluable companions they should be rewarded with the odd bit of cod from Bardsley’s.
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To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk
019_LS411_celebinterview
2/13/09
12:52 PM
Page 1
INTERVIEW
Alien nation Martha McAlpine talks to Jeff Wayne, producer and composer of the best-selling Musical Version of the War of the Worlds With 30 years of success, international fame, 15 million albums sold, years in the UK charts and an accession of prestigious awards, Jeff Wayne’s classic album Jeff Wayne’s Musical Version of the War of the Worlds has not lost momentum or vivacity. Wayne has worked on other projects while overseeing the revisiting of the music over the years. With new technologies, The War of the Worlds has been re-mastered and remixed with major success. To mark the 30th anniversary of the album, 2009 will see Jeff touring the country with the new ‘bigger and better’ Alive on Stage! musical. The production is an explosive multimedia sensation that debuted in 2006 and featured star casts including the likes of pop-opera man Russell Watson. What was it about HG Well’s story that you were attracted to? The book is set in Victorian England and I liked the ‘terror’ of that setting. All we would have had to defend ourselves against these machines with giant brains would be rifles and cannons. I also discovered that the young HG Wells was really taking a pop at the expanding British Empire. The Martians, with their tentacles, were an analogy for any nation; abusing their power to destroy other nations and peoples. That idea gave it more depth and meaning for me than any other sci-fi novel. How did you translate the literary themes into a musical score? When I came to start outlining my ideas from a musician’s point of view I found the chapters were really well structured. I structured the album in two halves just like HG Wells had done with the book: The first half is called ‘The Coming of the Martians’ and the second ‘The Earth under the Martians.’ The principle is that it really flows exactly as HG Wells created it. Did you always have a vision for the tone of the music or was it an ongoing process? A bit of both. I only remembered The War of the Worlds incorrectly as a little boy in New York from the old movie that kept popping up on TV. It was only when
I read the book that things came together. If you read the first chapter of the book, ‘The Eve of the War,’ it reads like an overture; like something dramatic is about to happen. I found the drama in the first chapter and I found myself quite easily composing the first piece which is of course called ‘The Eve of the War’.
You closely followed the structure and flow of HG Wells’ book but you integrated the character of Beth, the parson’s wife in the Spirit of Man sequence. Was this your personal twist on the original narrative? The parson was changed from a curate and integrated into the musical work to create a bit of conflict for debate. We did create the role of Beth so that she could argue and debate with the parson. Her role is to drag him out of his state of madness and argue that life is worth fighting for and is even worth dying for. It is a duet on a personal level and duet on a larger level about the ethos of good and evil and the value of human life.
“The Martians were an analogy for any nation; abusing their power to destroy other nations”
Which track are you most proud of? There is a sequence on the album that is divided into two, called The Red Weed. It is the ‘Vegetation of death’ that the Martians bring with them. Wells created this red weed as something that kills, but as the weed grows on earth, also looks rather beautiful. It was the biggest challenge of all because I have never before or after composed a piece in two separate keys, which is how The Red Weed was done. I tried to compose something that would combine both ‘beauty’ and the ‘threat of death’ to create a beautiful dissonance. I am proud of the whole work. I could never believe that I would be chatting to you 30 years on since its release: I was trying to tell a Victorian tale at the height of the punk revolution and this was not going with the times! Tell me about the upcoming WOTWs Alive on Stage! tour. The next tour is in June this year. It takes us 12 to 15 months to create each new production. We don’t just take it out of the box. We have new ingredients that are unique to the individual shows; we have new cast members for example. We have the British Jennifer Ellison joining the cast and Australia’s pop sensation, Shannon Noll, playing the parson. The late Richard Burton, who plays the journalist on the original album, will be brought back to life as an 11 foot high floating motion capture hologram. He keeps coming back! Of course, The Black Smoke Band and the ULLAdubULLA strings will be there. Jeff Wayne will be a guest at The Space, Brighton’s unique monthly arts and media event – Latest MusicBar, Tuesday 3 March, 7pm for 7:30pm start, £5/£3. Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of The War of The Worlds – Alive on Stage! will come to the Brighton Centre on 27 and 28 June. www.thespace.me.uk www.thewaroftheworlds.com latest 7 19
020_LS411_newssummary
2/13/09
3:51 PM
Page 2
LATESTNEWS
news summary
7 days of headlines
The former Brighton ice rink was damaged by fire. The blaze at the derelict property in Queen’s Square last Monday is being treated as arson. About 30 fire fighters attended the fire, which took nearly two hours to put out. Brighton and Hove City Council had just announced that it was considering a deal that could see the redevelopment of the ice rink and neighbouring offices. The proposal would see the ice rink knocked down to build an 85 room hotel with a restaurant. The council has now agreed to the leasing of the site. The Sun revealed that a 13year-old boy from Eastbourne had become a dad. Alfie Patten and his 15-year-old girlfriend Chantelle Steadman said they would bring the baby up together with the help of their families. Myhotel closed its Zilli Cafe until the summer, saying it had suffered from low trade in the winter months. The management said they would rather divert trade to the brasserie next door to the cafe in Jubilee Square.
Plane protest Climate change secretary Ed Miliband
Protesters disrupted a visit to Brighton by climate change secretary Ed Miliband. About ten members of Plane Stupid, the anti airport expansion group, staged a demonstration inside the Brighthelm Centre as Mr Miliband began to talk. After holding up a banner saying ‘Hypocrisy!’ and handing out leaflets, eight demonstrators complied with requests to leave. Two were allowed to remain to take part in the debate. About 200 people turned up last Thursday to hear Mr Miliband speak at the Q&A organised by the Fabian Society and Brighton Pavilion Labour prospective parliamentary candidate Nancy Platts. The minister was quizzed by organisations including Environmental Protection UK, the
Fit for life Brighton and Hove city council leader Mary Mears on saving money and fitness
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Aboriginal delay A decision about whether to return an Aboriginal skull to Australia was delayed until later this year. The skull is part of the collection at the Booth Museum of Natural History in Dyke Road, Brighton. Brighton and Hove City Council, which runs the museum, had been asked to return five items by Australia’s Office of Indigenous Policy Coordination. It agreed to return two skulls and two thigh bones. The council said the third skull, made into a water vessel, would not have been regarded as sacred was was probably traded by indigenous people for European goods. David Smith, city councillor for culture, said: “I received a letter from the Australian government asking me to defer the decision on the water vessel made from a human cranium. A delegation from the Ngarrindjeri nation will be visiting Oxford later this year. I will meet with the delegation while it is in the UK to discuss the water vessel.“
We’ve just launched a new ‘Community Health Trainer’ team to help people improve their health and lifestyles. These health trainers will work in communities across Brighton and Hove offering free one-to-one support and advice to anyone who wants it. We want everyone in our city to be able to enjoy a healthy lifestyle – but we know one-size doesn’t fit all – so if health trainers aren’t your thing we’ve got more to offer. In our budget we plan to invest £145,000 in the city’s ‘Active for Life’ sports and activities programme following the government’s funding withdrawal. We want to offer people the opportunity to join the over 3,000 residents who’ve benefited from 35,000 hours of activities. We’re also plugging the government’s funding gap for the cost of free swimming for over-60s and under-16s by putting up almost £50,000 extra to help people stay active and beat obesity. We want to create a city where people – young and old – can benefit from these opportunities to be active and as a result enjoy a health, happy life. Photograph: Darren Cool, www.snapitnow.co.uk
Who says councils don’t have a sense of humour? This week we’re launching a rather cheeky price comparison advertising campaign about the city’s libraries; but it contains a very serious message. As the recession bites, we want to raise awareness of how cheap it is to borrow books, CDs and DVDs from our libraries, compared to buying them in chain stores. Our campaign is using bus shelter adverts, street posters and shelf tags in libraries mimicking the brash design style of stores like ASDA, Tesco, Sainsbury’s and Blockbuster. Potential customers are invited to compare the £1 it costs to rent a chart CD like Take That’s The Circus for a week from a local library compared to buying one for £8.93 from Tesco. We want to show that libraries are the most amazing bargain on the high street. When money is tight we’re suggesting people consider borrowing rather than going without. From libraries to schools – and I’d like to congratulate Woodingdean Primary School who have had their very own Eco Week (week beginning Monday 9 February). Like many schools in the city, its pupils and teachers have really tuned into the national Eco Schools awards programme. They’ve formed an enthusiastic eco-committee called the ‘Eco Angels’ and done some great environmental work. By holding events, which included ecoactivities and guest speakers, they managed to get the environmental message across to children as well as their parents. Another issue that we all have to be dedicated to tackle is obesity and staying healthy. Obesity is a national issue but at the council we’re playing our part to help people get more active.
Transition Energy Group, Friends of the Earth, Consumer Focus, the RMT union and Cooperative Housing in Brighton and Hove. He said the rest of the country should be inspired by the passion of people in Brighton about green issues: “Your campaigning here and what you do in Brighton is incredibly important because the fact that Brighton is seen in some sense as the green capital of Britain has huge influence on people elsewhere in the UK. It shows people what can be done, that you can persuade people that a town can go green and have a good time.“ On the day of the talk, Mr Miliband announced government plans to offer energy audits to seven million households to help them reduce their bills. Greens staged a small protest outside the meeting (pictured).
Cabinet councillor for culture David Smith
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LATESTNEWS Phil Mills reports on the remarkable
story of the Brighton-baptised nun being considered for canonisation by the Vatican
Local hero A Brighton church is celebrating after learning that the name of one of its daughters has been put forward for sainthood. Mother Ricarda Beauchamp Hambrough was baptised at St Mary Magdalen in Upper North Street and later was credited with saving 60 Jews from the Nazis by hiding them in the convent she worked in when she was a nun in Rome. The Vatican has been asked to consider her for sainthood, something that has the Brighton church “very excited”, according to Father Ray Blake, parish priest of the Brighton church. He said his church might put up a painting or statue of Mother Ricarda who died in 1966 at the age of 79. Father Ray said it will be difficult for the church to be open at all times for visitors wanting to see her image because of the threat of thefts and desecration, but he felt the memorial would become a place of worship and prayer.
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Lap of luxury Computer problems often lead to quirky remedies but perhaps none more so than the solution Brighton journalist Christine Robertson has discovered for her laptop troubles. She tucks up her machine under blankets each night to ensure it is fit for work in the mornings. The 51-year-old said: “If I just leave the laptop on my desk in my office overnight then the next day it is hard to start up, sluggish and lazy. I often have to restart it twice. “I’ve had the Dell looked at by professionals a number of times and it has been rebuilt once, but still no one can find out what the
problem is. Through trial and error I’ve discovered that if I switch it off but keep it warm at night then it is fine the next day. So I put it in my airing cupboard – under blankets. “My husband reckons I give it a kiss goodnight. And believe you me, if that’s what it takes to keep it working properly then I’m up for it!”
He said: “There is palpable pride in the church from what has happened. For doing what we are in the business for: producing saints.” London-born Mother Ricarda helped hide Jewish refugees from the Gestapo in her convent during the Second World War and it is members of her Order who have put her name forward to the Vatican. The process is lengthy and involves examination of her life and the search for evidence of her heroism.
“There is palpable pride in the church from what has happened. For doing what we are in the business for: producing saints” Mother Ricarda was four when she was accepted into the Brighton church and it was 20 years later that she moved to Rome as a nun. She is buried in the grounds of the convent where she assisted refugees. Father Ray said: “She wasn’t with us for more than a few months but it was long enough for us to claim her as ours. It is great to have someone in our city who was heroic and holy.” The news has attracted comments on the church’s website, including: “Brighton has historically attracted persons of dubious reputation, so it is good to see that God is looking to balance the scales!” Another contributor wrote: “What an inspiring story. I have to confess I hadn’t even heard of this wonderful nun. Such good news to hear in this day, with all the terrible press about Catholic-Jewish relations.” latest 7 21
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LATEST LETTERS&SPORT
Letters
Send your comments to letters@thelatest.co.uk
Latest Sport Round ups and rumblings from the Latest Sports Bunker
Debut ball Latest Sport’s Peter Knight checks out the new signings up at chilly Withdean
Sinking ship? For a politician, Mary Mears is careless in her choice of jargon. A few months ago she was “trail blazing”, a phrase now consigned to the dustbin in view of the disastrous Australian fires. Now she is “ploughing ahead”. I hope this is not like the Titanic, and as everybody knows, a ploughed field is more difficult to cross. All she is doing however, is investing in extra grass-cutting, particularly on verges, to keep the town beautiful. If she takes a trip up Rosebery Avenue she will find that the plough has already been here and the verges are nothing but a muddy mess. The council wastes money by sending up the mower on a regular basis. Mary Mears needs to take off her rose-tinted glasses and get out of her ivory tower more often. Perhaps then the council will come up with some useful ways to invest money in Brighton and Hove. Grass-cutting is hardly a priority when some people are homeless. Yours sincerely Alan Thorpe, Rosebery Avenue, Brighton Back in January we published a review of Brighton band Wide Eyed Order at Latest Musicbar. Our reviewer Julie Andrews said the band “warmed the hearts of all who witnessed their joyous set,“ adding: “hopefully many others will get to witness this very promising band in the near future.“ One of the band left a comment on our website to say thanks.
Order fulfilled Thank you for a lovely review of our gig, we thoroughly enjoyed it and glad the audience had a splendid time, we will be back! Adrian (finger pickery chap from Wide Eyed Order)
That was some good football in the first 45 minutes against Peterborough last Tuesday night. New boys Jim McNulty and Craig Davies both got themselves on the scoresheet on their debuts and the teams went in at half time with the game a 2-2 twister. Definitely worth catching a chill for in the south stand. The ball was on the ground and being moved around nicely by the Seagulls, Seb Carole got his head down and ran at the opposition and everyone was moving about for each other. Jason Jarrett was winning balls in the air and on the ground
origins. George Boyd, who came from Conference side Stevenage, proved to be the Albion fans’ villain of the night after conning the ref into giving Peterborough a dubious penalty to take the game to 2-3. But try all they could, the Albion players started dropping off and the ball was simply hoofed forward again and again with no one picking up the drop downs from midfield. It finished 2-4. Entertaining but frustrating. There’s still a spark missing. But there is a glow there of what could come too. It had been a positive spell of games following the darker
“There’s still a spark missing. But there is a glow there of what could come too” and looks a decent signing and Davies’ presence up front offered a big tall frontman to aim for. The new signings look good and McNulty slotted effortlessly into his new leftback spot as though he’d been there all season. But the Albion’s three game unbeaten run is over and now (at the time of writing) we’re waiting for the next one to start. Although pressing forwards, Albion were always at risk from the speed and pace of Peterborough’s attack in the second half. The Posh are certainly an organised and lively team up there in the league with a good chance of promotion. Manager Darren Ferguson is getting the best out of his players who are predominately from non-league
days of December with morale boosting 90minute equalisers and winners against Cheltenham and Hartlepool and a solid 0-0 away to Leicester. Scoring in the last few moments of a game to steal points like Calvin Andrews’ strike against Hartlepool carries that winning momentum into the next game like a Steven Gerrard grabbing a match by the scruff of the neck in a Wembley cup final. The Albion won’t go down this season. A mid-table spot will be had. The new team will settle and merge out of this battle as a positive silver lining. And if we can make that win ours tonight up at Kenilworth Road against Luton, well, we would all have taken that at Christmas. Up the Albion!
Latest Music Bar, Manchester Street
You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
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Brighton against Peterborough
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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK
Shop talk Andrew Kay is avoiding the big food retail chains in favour of shopping locally The words ‘local’ and ‘seasonal’ could be in danger of falling into disrepute. I see them plastered everywhere – and I fear that sometimes it just isn’t the truth. It’s much like the joints that claim that their soup is homemade, when all they have done is stirred a tin or a packet. For some time I have been trying to cut the major food retailers out of my life. For a start I really do not like the whole supermarket experience. Oh I know that it’s easier for some and the chains are trying harder to offer a better selection of better produce. I also know that as a single person maybe my shopping requirements are not the same as those with a large family to feed. And before I get spotted, I haven’t weaned myself off the big chains fully yet and I can still be found from time to time stocking up on basics like loo rolls and washing powder. When I first came to Brighton some 21 years ago it was a culinary wilderness in terms of food retailers. I was commuting each day with a bag of groceries that I simply could not find here. Today, things are so much better. The last few years has seen radical changes with new stores popping up and some older outlets re-appraising their offer and starting to include a wide range of better produce. Shopping day to day is not as hard as it might seem, once your store cupboard is functioning. A stocked pantry is essential so start right there. That done I find myself picking up just one or two things as I need them, which is not every day. It cuts down radically on the waste that accrues from weekly shopping and from the packaging.
a Sardinian company. Oh I know it’s not local, but where would I be without some great olive oil and fabulous lemons. I particularly liked the jams, honey and bottled artichoke hearts and the huge crisp flat breads are amazing. The Hudson and Bridges deal is excellent for those with busy lives and they offer a wide range of concierge service from key holding to dog walking and everything in between, well almost! These Italian foods are also available at Zingarella’s in Brighton Marina. Anyone who has not been should put down the magazine now and head off for the best Italian cakes and pastries for many miles. Ask for a cannoli and find out what I mean. They also serve perfect Italian coffees and in the better weather great ice cream. Their own chocolate covered nougat is second to none – I gave it to everyone for Christmas. On the subject of pastries, I find my self drawn over to The Real Patisserie, where their quiche is perfect and their financiérs’ fabulous – the bread is pretty good too, as are their croissants. I also frequent the Taj where foodies can indulge their sense of the ethical alongside the exotic, such choices, it always amazes and inspires. For fish I still favour a trip to the beach or to Newhaven or Hove Lagoon. There is plenty on offer if you make the effort and look out for undersized fish that are sold at far lower prices. I buy my wine from Henry at Butler’s Wine Cellar or from Derek and Andy at The Winehouse alongside Shoreham Harbour depending on what I am looking for. Both have their virtues and both are fun experiences. So apart from the odd dash into a big store, and these days that tends to be Lidl, my shopping is pretty local and pretty damned good too. Bramptons, 114 St. Georges Road, Brighton, Sussex, BN2 1EA. Call 01273 682611 www.bramptonsbutchers.co.uk Archers, 128 Islingword Road, Brighton, BN2 9SH. Call 01273 603234 Proto Fruit & Veg, 8 Garnet Hse, St. Georges Rd, Brighton, BN2 1EU. Call 01273 681518 East West bakery www.eastwestbakery.com Hudson and Bridges, 237 Eastern Rd, Brighton, BN2 5JJ. Call 01273 606138 www.hudsonandbridges.co.uk Infinity Foods, 25 North Rd, Brighton, E. Sussex BN1 1YA. Call 01273 603563 Zingarella’s, 15 Mermaid Walk, Brighton Marina, BN2 5WA. Call 01273 686800 The Real Patisserie, 43 Trafalgar Street, Brighton, BN1 4ED. Call 01273 570719 Taj Mahal International Foods, 95 Western Rd, Brighton BN1 2 AD. Call 01273 325027 Butler’s Wine Cellar 247 Queens Park Rd, Brighton, BN2 9XJ. Call 01273 698724 www.butlers-winecellar.co.uk The Winehouse www.thewinehouse.co.uk. Call 01273 870055 Brighton and Newhaven Fish Sales, South Quay, Basin Road South, Aldrington Basin, Portslade, Brighton BN41 1WF. Call 01273 430646 www.brighton-fish-sales.co.uk
Bramptons Butchers Ltd
Living in Kemp Town, I am able to visit some of my favourite food shops. I am a regular at Brampton’s butchers where Paul sells quality meats and Fran excellent cheeses. They strive to supply local produce and although not fully organic almost all of their food is free-range. For organic meat I pop over to see Brian at Archers. Brian and his wife are fully organic and their tiny butcher shop is a place of pilgrimage for many. Their meat pies are also a thing of great beauty. Back in Kemp Town I shop for fruit and vegetables at Proto, a traditional greengrocers with a sideline of Infinity dry goods. Infinity is of course still one of Brighton’s best and best loved food shops and I love both what they sell and what they stand for. The recent refit does take them close to being a supermarket but one with such strong ethics that I forgive them. Until recently I despaired of finding bread that I loved but now I can buy East West Bakery bread in both Brampton’s and at Hall and Bridges. Their sour dough and Austrian rye breads are delicious and keep well, ideal for me. Hudson and Bridges also stock a great range of foods including some very special imported Italian delights from l’Isola Buona,
“Get out of the supermarkets and support your local shops”
If you would like to comment on this story please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk
Welcome to Bramptons Butchers
114 St. Georges Road, Brighton, Sussex, BN2 1EA Located in the heart of Kemp Town, Brighton, in a road that has many other specialised shops. Indeed, we feel no other road like it exists in Brighton!
Tel: 01273 682 611 Opening Hours Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday: 7:00am - 5:00pm Wednesday: 7:00am - 1:00pm Saturday: 6:30am - 1:30pm Sunday: Closed latest 7 23
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LATESTHOTLIST
See more at thelatest.co.uk
latest hot
LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS
RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and an excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256
The Coach House Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of home-cooked food, separate evening and lunch menus, and Sunday roasts. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter, a central open fire roars. In summer, soak up the sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt. 59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com
FRENCH The Arrogant Frog Early Frog is available Tuesday to Friday evenings at £20/£13.95 between noon and 1pm. In the evening, buy one dish from the á la carte menu, get 50 per cent off the second main course (Tuesday to Thursdays). Plat du jour at £7.95/£9.95. Enjoy a lunchtime bowl of homemade soup with French bread for only £4.95. Gourmet evening on the third Thursday of every month, £49.50 including service for six courses and six glasses of wine. 119 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721488, www.thearrogantfrog.com
Cocoa French patisserie on Queen’s Road. Everything is prepared each morning on the premises by their French gourmet pastry chef. Front of house serves coffee, cinnamon hot chocolate or homemade lime ice tea, amongst others. Seating by a mural of the roofs of Paris is relaxing and bohemian. A recent French visitor said: ”The best croissant in Brighton, better than any I found in Paris!” 48 Queen’s Road, Brighton. 01273 777412
New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional homemade French cuisine. A hidden gem and very reasonable too! Daily evening menu of twocourses £10.50, three-courses £12.50 on weekdays, and two-courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 on Friday and Saturday. À la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6–10pm. 10-11 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 or 695415
L’Églisese Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the twocourse lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–5pm at £11.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk, info@legliserestaurant.co.uk
INDIAN Chaula’s This place is unlike other Indian restaurants – Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat, and a ‘light bites’ menu. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle Indian bistro serving stunning food. Relaxed with an informal feel, the emphasis is authentic Indian and Nepalese dishes using local and organic produce. Daytime menu offers Indian street food, Thalis and Masala Dosa, a selection of beautiful loose teas and cakes and sweetmeats. For dinner Feast on a Spiced Tandoor Baked Shoulder of Lamb, Moilly
Seafood Pot or Duck Egg Masala. 42 Meeting House Lane, 01273 323824 www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
ITALIAN Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Fat Leo The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu which is utterly affordable with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95. 16-17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135
THAI Sabai Filled with stylish Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui and the restaurants of Bangkok. Browse the extensive menu of unique dishes, sample a cocktail or a bottle of wine from the comprehensive wine list. Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners. Enjoy – :“Sanuk” 165-169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030 www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com
COFFEE SHOPS
Sevendials Restaurant
Spinelli Coffee
A smart restaurant serving excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. From a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game and desserts, and a wine list full of affordable treats. Use the terrace when the weather is warm or the dining room for a treat. 1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555, www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk
Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with greattasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience’. Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free WiFi or just relax. In Kemp Town Village, just off St George’s Road and College Road. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
Sam’s of Brighton
Moksha Caffe Brighton
Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a freerange poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter. 1 Paston Place, Brighton, 01273 676222 www.samsofbrighton.co.uk
Moksha is Brighton’s ultimate independent café, with their own blend of locally roasted coffee made by highly trained baristas. An excellent range of homemade cakes and sandwiches all made on site with favourites like battenburg, quiches and gluten-free options. Spacious interior and works of local artists. Child friendly, with disabled access and free WIFI. Free live music or comedy every Saturday night. Moksha Caffe, 4-5 York Place. 01273 248890
CHINESE Gars Restaurant Stunningly refurbished, this old Brighton favourite has attained a new lease of life. An exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room and enjoy the glamour of it all. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321 www.gars.co.uk
BARS Koba Bar and Club Koba hosts a happy hour in the front bar between 5-7pm all week. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list, and of course, champagne for special occasions (or just for the love of it). The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton,
To have an entry in the latest hot list call Marie on 01273 818150 latest 7 25
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tHE KIDS OF FAME Children’s author and West End stars to launch Brighton performing arts school Brighton Academy of Performing Arts will be officially launched on Saturday 21 February at St Aubyns School, Rottingdean, amid a host of exciting events for the public to join in with. From 10am till 4pm the academy will be giving free workshops in performing arts. Sophie Linder-Lee from the West End production of Mamma Mia! will be holding dance classes for all ages and abilities. Tania Newton and Jo McShane from Cats will be demonstrating the art of stage make-up and also running drama workshops. Claire Llewellyn, a fight choreographer will be putting people through their paces in exciting sessions of stage combat. And West End musician Dominic Ferris will be holding vocal workshops – learn to sing like the stars! Horrid Henry author Francesca Simon will officially open the school at 11am and Juice FM will be broadcasting the launch live from the event. A prize draw on the day will give away five free terms at the academy. For more information call Steven on 07812 116194, email info@brightonapa.co.uk or visit www.brightonapa.co.uk
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latest listings Your weekly guide to what’s on
17 – 23 February
Under review Here’s our round up of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.thelatest.co.uk keeps saying this isn’t a family show yet there is very little not to like or to feel offended by. A delight to watch. Theatre Royal Brighton, 9 February ✌✌✌✌ Victoria Nangle
Ed Byrne – Different Class Ed Byrne is a funny, sharp and thought-provoking man. From his tirades against WAGs as aspirational figures to the fiasco that is planning a wedding, he says what is true to him with the benefit of years of practising stand-up, the last of which was spent perfecting this particular show. Likeable and filling the sizable Theatre Royal stage easily with his active delivery and confident movements, Byrne
Cordelia Fellowes and the Gypsy Squat Pop Project She’s been scratching around at the fringes for a while now, but this exBIMM student is beginning to make some headway with an expanded seven-piece line up that includes a three-piece brass section. Her very literate and story-line based tales are the icing on a decadent cake that also includes layers of folk, blues, jazz and gallic-style musical theatre from a band that provides the right amount of space and atmospherics for Fellowes to entrance a full house. ‘Bigger Tits’ is self-deprecating and hilarious while ‘Woe Is Me’ depicts the comedown after a heavy weekend and ‘Ready To Die’ is wonderfully languid oldschool jazz-blues. Despite the occasional self-anguish, morbid humour, and tales of boyfriends and hedonism gone wrong, hers is an upbeat performance that has a twinkle in its eye and beating heart of pure soul. Latest Music Bar, 5 February ✌✌✌✌✌
HOT REVIEW OF THE WEEK Emmy The Great With her hotly anticipated debut album First Love recently released, this could be her moment to shine at last. Emmy spoke with the audience between songs as if they knew all the in-band jokes! The atmosphere was appropriately mellow, the crowd sat on the floor. This was not a set to have a dance to, rather, to appreciate a beautiful voice, and perfectly placed accompaniments with unusual instruments. Definitely some superb songwriting talent in Emmy, traditional folk style blended with her own pop twist. For me a highlight was an eloquent cover of the Carpenters 70’s hit ‘The End of the World’. Komedia, 2 February ✌✌✌✌✌ Rob Burdick
Julie Andrews
The Blues Brothers Party A party indeed. The show was a full-on experience that had the audience singing and dancing in the aisles. The stream of hit songs left no room for pause. Ben Watson filled Elwood Blues with energy, seemingly channelling Jim Carey at times. Jake Blues brought a serious edge to the show thanks to Simon Connolly. The sisters of soul approached the affair with gusto, keeping the brothers in their place. The audience were screaming for more after the curtain. Theatre Royal Brighton, 4 February ✌✌✌ Matthew Hall
Knock Knock Comedy This latest addition to the ever growing number of rooms above pubs providing intimate comedy experiences in Brighton has got off to a solid start. Ably hosted by a charmingly bewildered Mark Simmons, the night kicked off with Rich Perry’s winning mix of deadpan and cheekiness, followed by a confidently shambolic Marc Salmon. Paul McCaffrey opened the second section with a perfectly executed set that really got the small crowd going. Darren Ruddell gave us a truly innovative comic performance. Headliner Michael Fabbri topped off the night with a beautifully crafted and Izzardesque meander through his thoughts. A lovely new night well worthy of support. Caroline of Brunswick, 4 February ✌✌✌✌ Angela Barnes
Voodoo Vaudeville: Dead Glam This cool cabaret show compered by Granny Glitter was helped (or maybe not) by a packed out and rowdy crowd. Highlights included Glamchop Magoo (a burlesque number by a cute sheep), Piaf-stylee numbers and an arial trapeze performance. It has to be said: less of naughty Nathan with his cheesy balloon tricks and more of the legendary Baby Warhol (a smooth talking puppet and guru who sits in a picture frame, for those not in the know) but hey, variety is what this lot’s all about. The dark beauty of Voodoo Vaudeville is its formula of bizarre and surreal theatrical treats. Unbeatable. Komedia, 24 January ✌✌✌ Monica Perdoni
For complete and comprehensive listings go to thelatest.co.uk
SEE festival p30
28 Kids and events Magic at White Rock and a wedding fair at the Royal Pavilion; listings
28 Books Ed Mitchell’s book profiled; listings
29 Stage Houdini’s Suitcase and Five Kinds of Silence; listings
30 Film SEE Festival found David Notman-Watt speaks; local listings
32 Music Longtomb interview, gigs and highlights; listings
35 Clubs Listings and highlights including Playroom
36 Comedy Comedy in politics?; listings
36 Art Art exhibitions listed
37 Gay News and listings
38 Television Dani on Boys and Girls Alone; seven day listings
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KIDS&EVENTS
For complete listings go to thelatest.co.uk
EVENTHIGHLIGHTS
Write club
Magic at the Rock Magic at the Rock is perfect halfterm entertainment for all the family. Taking place this Friday 20 February at the White Rock Theatre in Hastings, join professional magician and illusionist Richie Austin for a special fundraising show. Suitable for all the family, the astounding magical show features comedy, illusion and mind-bending tricks. Richie’s show is to raise money for children’s cancer charity Georgies-Fund. This will help fund research into the aggressive, but not very well known childhood cancer Neuroblastoma. This form of cancer affects children from newborns up to teenagers with a current survival rate of only one in five. Richie’s show is to raise funds and create awareness. Since losing his own three-year-old niece to Neuroblastoma, Richie has become a patron of the charity and raised nearly £6000 since 2007. Magic at the Rock is a chance to raise funds for the charity and witness magic and illusions in a live show. The show includes the magic of awardwinning magician Oliver Tabor plus the mind-bending magic of Galithia Connexion, and magic and mayhem with Richie himself. Magic at the Rock, Friday 20 February at the White Rock Theatre, Hastings. 7.30pm, tickets: £8.50 adults/£6 children, £25 family ticket (two adults, two children). Box office: 01424 462288, www.richieaustin.com
Royal Pavilion Wedding Fair If your spring is set to be a wedding frenzy of planning and appointments, make the annual Royal Pavilion wedding fair your first point of call. Returning to the famous Brighton landmark this Sunday 22 February, the fair is a the chance for anyone planning a wedding to meet local wedding suppliers. You will leave the fair brimming with ideas and with a comprehensive contact list covering every aspect of your big day from flowers to dresses, photographs and cars. If you’re planning a wedding or civil partnership, don’t miss out on the Pavilion’s most glamorous wedding fair. Sunday 22 February, The Royal Pavilion, Brighton, admission charge applies, £8.30/5 children aged 5–15. Brighton and Hove Residents (with proof of residency, council tax or other utility bill) £4.15 plus up to four accompanying children free. 10am–4pm.
From the stars to the gutter to the Med John O‘Donoghue looks at the journey of fallen journalist Ed Mitchell In December 2007 a man woke up on a bench on Brighton beach to find the world looking at him. Ed Mitchell, ex-BBC, ITN, CNBC, had drunk away his marriage, his career, and his serenity. But through a series of lucky breaks, he made it back to sobriety. From Headlines To Hard Times tells how Mitchell flew high in the Eighties and crashed in the Noughties. The book starts on that beach, where the world’s media came to gawp at one of their own, and ends on another beach far away, Mitchell gazing at the Mediterranean, at peace at last with the world. He describes a Brighton and Hove we see every day but know little of. If Mitchell’s Eighties were spent boozing it up with his fellow business hacks in pubs with names like Wolsey’s, the White Tower, or the Hat and Stick, after he crashed he is reduced to making the rounds of First Base, Off The Fence, and St Patrick’s Night Shelter. If you’re expecting Orwell though, think again. Mitchell was trained to report business markets around the world, and he has little of Orwell’s documentary eye for detail or self-effacement. And his meeting with Mrs Thatcher produces one of the oddest scenes in the book. He says she: “came across as almost huggable. More soft toy than Iron Lady“. Of course, Mitchell’s Eighties were a very different Eighties from a lot of people’s, from, say, the miners, or the unemployed, or the poll tax rioters. All of this seems to have passed him by. There’s not a word about any of these wider social currents in the book. What did he think his ‘lovely, cuddly’ idol was up to? Running the W.I.? The irony of a business journalist not being able to control his personal finances is also never really explained. One day all is rosy, as he describes a happy family life, and the hard-drinking work culture in which Alastair Campbell also came a cropper. The next he’s £250,000 in debt, and out of a job. He was saved in the end not by the welfare state, but by a friend who paid for him to dry out in the Priory. Mitchell seeks to come to terms with his fall at the end of his book, and one cannot fault his wisdom in calling for the principles of AA – honesty, humility, service, acceptance, love – to be principles we should all adopt. But where were these sentiments when others were having their hard times, and he was writing the headlines, not making them? Tonight someone else will sleep out on that seafront bench. And that, folks, is the real story of our times. From Headlines To Hard Times, Ed Mitchell, John Blake Publishing, £17.99
EVENTSLISTINGS
BOOKSLISTINGS
Thursday 19
Sunday 22
Saturday 21
The Days – Free Show and Signing Instore performance and signing session with Devon's indie-rockers The Days, as they launch their debut major label single 'No Ties.' HMV Store, Churchill Square Mall, 5pm, free.
Beyond The Void Mountaineering expert Simon Yates give his audience a taste of both the mountain environment and the extreme mental and physical challenges he has faced. Theatre Royal, Brighton. Call 08700 606650
The Writers' Fiction Factory Workshop 4: Where now for your writing? Individual feedback meetings with Sue Walker. Ropetackle Centre, 10:30am–2pm, £90 fourweek course.
Friday 20
Royal Pavilion Wedding Fair Meet local wedding suppliers to help you plan your special day. Royal Pavilion, 10am–4pm, free with admission.
Monday 23
Magic at the Rock Family event featuring comedy, illusions and mind-bending magic! Raising money for children's cancer charity Georgie's-Fund. For more info about the charity and the show visit www.richieaustin.com White Rock Theatre (Hastings), £8.50 adults/6 children/25 family ticket.
28 latest 7
To feature in events email editorial@thelatest.co.uk
Steve Jones Steve Jones discusses his book Darwin's Island, a beautifully written, witty and illuminating read. Steve Jones explores the domestic Darwin, the sage of Kent, and brings his work up to date. Great Britain was Charles Darwin’s other island – this book traces the great naturalist’s second journey
across its landscape. The Old Market, 6.30pm, £6 (includes a glass of wine).
Coming up... Thursday 26 The Uncanny A creative and critical approach to Freud’s essay on The Uncanny. Includes creative writing and the inspiration of The Uncanny, critical explorations and discussion. University of Chichester, Mitre Lecture Theatre, Bishop Otter Campus, Chichester. To book call 01243 816163. 1.30pm–7.30pm, £15/10
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Escapology
Hard love
Houdini’s Suitcase marionette magic and live performance from Pickled Image at The Hawth
Five Kinds of Silence by Shelagh Stephenson at The New Venture Theatre
Pickled Image is a Bristol based Puppet Company who have been performing, making, teaching and filming puppets since they formed in 2000. Suitable for anyone 12 years and over, Houdini’s Suitcase is a tale of love and loss, nights at the circus and the mud-soaked trenches of the First World War. On top of a towering pile of luggage in a deserted railway station, Joshka Malouth – the one time apprentice to the great Houdini, waits and remembers. The battered suitcases that surround him contain fragments of his extraordinary past. One by one he opens his bags and a macabre carnival of strange and beautiful characters emerge to tell his story. Houdini’s Suitcase is a stunning piece of visual theatre that fuses live performance, puppetry and a haunting soundtrack to create a totally unique, poignant and wonderfully funny theatre experience. Try something new this year and come and find out what is in Houdini’s Suitcase! Pickled Image present Houdini’s Suitcase, The Hawth Studio, Crawley Thursday 5 March, 7.45pm Tickets priced £12 (discounts £10), Schools £8 are available from the Hawth Box Office on 01293 553636 or you can book online at www.hawth.co.uk
Five Kinds of Silence, adapted from a radio play, tells the shocking story of a family living under the power of the vicious Billy, who physically, emotionally, and sexually abuses his wife, Mary, and their daughters, Susan and Janet. The play is about control, madness and how the family is bonded by abuse, perpetuated through their silence. They are physically, emotionally and mentally separated from the outside world. Non-linear and non-chronological in structure, the story is told via a series of monologues and interviews, which piece together the family’s life under Billy’s tyranny. The radio play won the 1996 Writers' Guild award for Best original Radio Play and the 1997 Sony Award for Best Original Drama. The first stage version was first performed at the Lyric Hammersmith in London. Director, Kirsty Harbron says ‘‘This a beautifully written piece of theatre by Shelagh Stephenson, which does not shy away from the shocking truths of such a violent story, exposing the audience to graphic descriptions of the causes and effects of cycles of abuse. It is emotionally draining for the actors and, at times, difficult to watch, but conveys a powerful message about not living in silence’’. *This production contains strong language and adult themes and, as such, is not suitable for children.
And music to follow… As a second act to Five Kinds of Silence, up and coming singer/songwriters Janna Fox and Charlotte Grimes will be performing an original acoustic collection of songs written with the play in mind. This eclectic sound combines genre with spine-tingling harmonies and unique melodies. Five Kinds of Silence, New Venture Theatre, Bedford Place, Brighton Saturday 21 to Saturday 28 February. Tickets – £7 (£8.50 final Friday and Saturday night) Tuesday – all tickets £5 book online at www.newventure.org.uk or Box Office 01273 746118
STAGELISTINGS
Tuesday 17 February to Monday 2 March Brighton Dome 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Sinderfella Brighton’s alternative adult panto. • 19 Feb–1 Mar, 5pm & 8pm (no show 23 Feb, no 5pm show 19 & 25 Feb) £16 Strictly Strauss – The Johann Strauss Gala Journey back to 19th century Vienna. • 19 Feb, 7.30pm, £10–£27.50 Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Mendelssohn Violin Concerto in E minor. • 1 Mar, 2.45pm, £8–£30
Eastbourne: Congress Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Brainiac Live 2009 Live stage show based on the hit TV series.. • 1 Mar, 2.30pm, £18.50
Eastbourne: Devonshire Park Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Lucky Sods Outrageous John Godber comedy about a family who win £2million on the lottery.
• 24–28 Feb, Wed & Sat mat 2.30pm, 7.45pm, £13.50–£19.50 Boeing Boeing West End and Broadway hit about one man with three air hostess fiancées. • 2–7 Mar, 7.45pm, Wed & Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19
THe Hawth, Crawley 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Oliver Twist 09 The classic tale, portraying the Victorian underworld. Ages 8+. • 17 Feb, contact venue for show times/£ La Ronde Play charting the love lives of interrelated characters. Adult themes/scenes. • 18 Feb, contact venue for show times/£ Where’s My Desi Soul-Mate? Humorous insight into the lives of British Asian singletons. • 21 Feb, contact venue for show times/£ Hot Flush Musical comedy for the perfect girls’ night out: the lives and
loves of four women. • 25 Feb, contact venue for show times/£
• 24–28 Feb, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed, 2.30pm Sat, £13–£22.50
New Venture Theatre
Worthing: Pavilion Theatre
01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Five Kinds of Silence Play about control, madness and a family bonded by abuse. • 21–28 Feb, contact venue for times/£
01093 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Zippos Circus All the fun of a big top in a theatre. Circus stars perform amazing acts. • 17–22 Feb, 2.30pm, plus 5.30pm Tue–Thu, 7pm Fri & Sat, 11am Sun. £12/£10
Theatre Royal 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Little Shop of Horrors Affectionate spoof of 1950s sci-fi movies starring Clare Buckfield. • 17–21 Feb, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm 19 & 21 Feb. £tbc SpongeBob Squarepants – The Sponge Who Could Fly New musical based on the hit kids TV show. • 24–28 Feb, 7pm plus 4pm Wed & Thu, 4.30pm & 7.30pm Fri & Sat. £tbc
Worthing: Connaught Theatre 01093 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Sooty In Space Magical 3-D show, with stunning scenery, effects and a whole galaxy of intergalactic giggles. For Sooty fans of all ages. • 20 Feb, 1.30pm & 4.30pm, £10/8 (£32 family of four) Life & Beth Alan Ayckbourn’s comedy of the supernatural: It’s a Christmas Beth won’t forget.
Zippos Circus
The Vagina Monologues Witty and moving collection of tales – the ultimate girls’ night out. • 23 Feb, 7.30pm, £16.50 Totally Looped Comedians dub improvised dialogue over ever-changing film clips for a hilarious night. • 24 Feb, 8pm, £17
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FILM www.odeon.co.uk
0871 224 4007 Tuesday 17 BOLT 3D (PG) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 BURN AFTER READING (15) 8.45 DOUBT (15) 10.00 FRIDAY THE 13TH (18) 4.15, 6.45, 9.15 HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (12A) 2.15, 3.00, 5.50, 8.45 HOTEL FOR DOGS (15) 11.15, 1.45, 4.15, 6.45 MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D (18) 9.30 MADAGASCAR: ESCAPE 2 AFRICA (PG) 10.30 NOTORIOUS (15) 9.10 REVOLUTIONARY ROAD (15) 12.30, 3.15, 6.00 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 12.15, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (12A) 1.30, 5.00, 8.30 THE PINK PANTHER 2 (PG) 10.30, 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.15 THE READER (15) 11.00 VALKYRIE (12A) 11.15, 3.40
Wednesday 18 BOLT 3D (PG) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPOHOLIC (PG) 11.00, 1.15, 3.30, 6.00, 8.15 DOUBT (15) 10.00 FRIDAY THE 13TH (18) 4.15, 6.45, 9.15 HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (12A) 2.15, 3.00,
5.50, 8.45 HOTEL FOR DOGS (15) 11.15, 1.45, 4.15 MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D (18) 9.30 MADAGASCAR: ESCAPE 2 AFRICA (PG) 10.30 NOTORIOUS (15) 9.10 REVOLUTIONARY ROAD (15) 6.45 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 12.15, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (12A) 1.30, 5.00, 8.30 THE PINK PANTHER 2 (PG) 10.30, 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.15 THE READER (15) 11.00 VALKYRIE (12A) 11.15, 3.40
Thursday 19 BOLT 3D (PG) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPOHOLIC (PG) 11.00, 1.15, 3.30, 6.00, 8.15 DOUBT (15) 10.00 FRIDAY THE 13TH (18) 4.15, 6.45, 9.15 HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (12A) 2.15, 3.00, 5.50, 8.45 HOTEL FOR DOGS (15) 11.15, 1.45, 4.15 MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D (18) 9.30 MADAGASCAR: ESCAPE 2 AFRICA (PG) 10.30 NOTORIOUS (15) 9.10 REVOLUTIONARY ROAD (15) 6.45
www.picturehouses.co.uk
01273 626261 Tuesday 17
FUTURE SHORTS DANCES WITH LOVE (NA) 11.30pm
RAGING B ULL (18) 11.00am VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA (12A) 1.30, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30
Saturday 21
Wednesday 18 VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA (12A) 11.00, 1.30, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30
Thursday 19 VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA (12A) 1.30, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30
Friday 20 CHE: PART TWO (15) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 9.00
CHE: PART ONE (15) 11.30pm CHE: PART TWO (15) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.15 THE FOX AND THE CHILD (U) 11.00am
Sunday 22 CHE: PART TWO (15) 2.15, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30 THE RIGHT STUFF (15) 10.30am
Monday 23 CHE: PART TWO (15) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 9.00 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES
www.cineworld.co.uk
0871 200 2000 Tuesday 17 BOLT (PG) 10.00, 12.30, 3.10, 5.50, 8.30 BOLT 3D (PG) 10.50, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 DOUBT (15) 9.30 HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (12A) 12.20, 3.20, 6.20, 9.20 HOTEL FOR DOGS (U) 11.10, 1.40, 4.10, 6.30 REVOLUTIONARY ROAD (15) 8.50 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 3.30, 6.15, 9.00 THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (12A) 12.50, 4.40, 8.20 PINK PANTHER 2 (PG) 11.20, 1.50, 4.20, 6.50, 9.10 THE SECRET OF MOONACRE (U) 10.20, 1.00 VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA (12A) 1.10, 3.40, 6.10, 8.40 MADAGASCAR: ESCAPE 2 AFRICA (PG) 10.40am BEVERLEY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (U) 10.30
Wednesday 18 BOLT (PG) 10.00, 12.30, 3.10, 5.50, 8.30 BOLT 3D (PG) 10.50, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 DOUBT (15) 9.30 HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (12A) 3.20, 6.20,
9.20 HOTEL FOR DOGS (U) 11.10, 1.40, 4.10, 6.30 REVOLUTIONARY ROAD (15) 8.50 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 6.15, 9.00 THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (12A) 12.50, 4.40, 8.20 PINK PANTHER 2 (PG) 11.20, 1.50, 4.20, 6.50, 9.10 THE SECRET OF MOONACRE (U) 10.20, 1.00 VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA (12A) 1.10, 3.40, 6.10, 8.40 MADAGASCAR: ESCAPE 2 AFRICA (PG) 10.40am CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPOHOLIC (PG) 10.50, 1.20, 3.50 BEVERLEY HILLS CHIHUAHUA (U) 10.30
Thursday 19 BOLT (PG) 10.00, 12.30, 3.10, 5.50, 8.30 BOLT 3D (PG) 10.50, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 DOUBT (15) 9.30 HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (12A) 3.20, 6.20, 9.20 HOTEL FOR DOGS (U) 11.10, 1.40, 4.10, 6.30 REVOLUTIONARY ROAD (15) 8.50
www.worthingtheatres.co.uk
01903 206206 Tues 17–Thurs 19 THE READER (15) 7.30 (Tues), 1.30 (Wed, Thurs)
Tues 17 MADAGASCAR: ESCAPE 2 AFRICA (PG) 1.45, 4.15
Wed 18–Mon 23
22 latest 7
CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPOHOLIC (PG) 6.00, 8.30 (Wed – Fri), 2.30, 5.15, 8.00 (Sat – Sun), 2.00, 8.00 (Mon)
Saturday 21 BOLT (12A) 10.15am CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES
L7 lowdown What’s on this week
Disney’s Bolt
Bolt 3D (PG)
Revolutionary Road (15)
Dir: Byron Howard and Chris Williams The first CG production for Disney from Pixar main man John Lasseter is also the studios first fully 3D film. John Travolta voices the titular Bolt, an over-confident white shepherd pup who wrongly believes he has superpowers. Bolt has a decent voice cast including Miley Cyrus, Malcolm McDowell and even former WWE wrestler Randy Savage. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
Dir: Sam Mendes Kate Winslet's other Oscar-friendly movie out at the moment is a collaboration with her husband, Sam Mendes, acclaimed director of American Beauty and Jarhead. Winslet is reunited with her Titanic co-star Leonardo Di Caprio as a 1950s couple dealing with the emotional implications of the woman becoming the main breadwinner. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Nick Aldwinckle
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (12A)
Sapphire Fever (15)
Dir: David Fincher The gritty, semi-indie director of Fight Club, Se7en and Alien 3, David Fincher, does exactly what you wouldn’t expect and fully embraces the awards-friendly rom-com genre. Brad Pitt takes the lead role as Benjamin, a man who is born old and slowly gets younger. Cate Blanchett looks on in soft-focus elegance as Fincher’s interesting take on an epic Forrest Gump-style story looks set to take the gold. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
Friday the 13th (18) Dir: Marcus Nispel Who knew this remake hadn’t already been done in the recent flurry of ‘reimaginings’ of 80s horrors? Anyway, one of the first (and by no means the best!) films in Hollywood’s slasher cycle of films is translated to the noughties as a new batch of nubile teens face impending doom at the hand of hockey mask-wearing psycho Jason Vorhees. A remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street looms, but until the return of Freddy, this should satisfy the horror fan’s blood lust. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
He’s Just Not That Into You (12A) Dir: Ken Kwapis Based on the popular chick-lit/selfhelp book of the same name, an allstar cast including Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Connelly, Scarlett Johansson and Drew Barrymore combine powers for this manual in understanding men. This light-hearted romp is bound to do well as an alternative to the current frenzy of seriousness dominating UK screens. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
Dir: David Notman-Watt An informative and moving examination of the ‘sapphire rush’ in the small outpost village of Ilakaka, Madagascar. This film, aired on Al Jazeera, follows the fortunes of local mine-owner Arsene and Canadian trader Raymond Le Blanc, illustrating the hardship and pain the industry causes in this often unreported part of the world Part of SEE Festival Ralph Miller
Good Morning Mr Hitler (15)
Dir: Luke Holland and Paul Yule Using beautiful amateur colour footage taken six weeks before the outbreak of the Second World War, the directors have produced a moving and disturbing picture of a Germany being swept along on a wave of pageantry and nationalism. Interviews with performers and artists give voice to how the German people may have been taken in. The recently uncovered footage is shown to an audience of elderly Germans by the sons of the amateur film buff. This is a remarkable film that shows how the Nazis used propaganda to present a palatable facade. Part of SEE Festival Andrew Kay
Clowns (15) Dir: Daisy Asquith Clowns no, children’s entertainers yes, and four are put under the cruel scrutiny of Asquith‘s lens. Mr Pumpkin is a hard-working sweetie who loves his mum; Potty the Pirate is a pro but lonely; Tommy Tickle a foul-mouthed pretender and Lynn Thomas is a magician who made the mistake of hitting a child and now works twilight homes. It’s an often disturbing look at a world where suspended belief may not be about the audience‘s grasp of reality but the performer‘s. A look at the people behind the performance and utterly compelling. Part of SEE Festival Andrew Kay
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It’s a wrap Ralph Miller talks to SEE Festival founder David Notman-Watt about sending pop stars off with contract killers in his film The Cocaine Diaries Taking a Britpop bassist into the firing line of guerilla wars, meeting presidents and befriending Malagasy sapphire traders is all part of the job description for award-winning documentary maker David Notman-Watt, founder of Brighton’s SEE festival. Two of Notman-Watt’s films will be shown at this year’s SEE Festival. The first, Alex James: The Cocaine Diaries, follows the Blur bassist, who once spent a million pounds on cocaine and champagne, as he visits Colombia to investigate how the world’s largest coke exporter has been affected by the music industry’s drug of choice. It will be the UK premiere of the full-length film, showing footage that wasn‘t allowed to be shown in the BBC Panorama version. The screening will be the uncensored, shocking account of what actually happened in Colombia with Alex. Notman-Watt explained the difficulties of making this sort of documentary. “You don’t just turn up in Colombia and say ‘Hi, I’m with a millionaire rockstar’, the security costs alone are expensive because you need to make damn sure he’s not going to get kidnapped. We were flying around the country in helicopters and meeting contract killers who aren’t going to do things for free, so it’s not a cheap industry.” “Experience is key, and I have a very good Colombian fixer who I trust implicitly and very strong connections with the military. The
hardest thing was convincing Alex to trust me and the local fixer. We had a small crew, as we didn’t want to draw attention to ourselves or to Alex, as he is a prime target for kidnapping. It was only when we got there that we put out the calls to people that we knew”.
“You don‘t just turn up in Colombia and say, Hi, I‘m with a millionaire rock star“ “There was an extremely scary moment though, when a contract killer agreed to speak to us in his car. We couldn’t all fit in, so I filmed them leaving, the fixer went in the car, as he knew the contract killer, and Alex went in the front. We agreed they would be 20 minutes but they were gone an hour and a half, and I lost it. I was thinking what have I done? I was starting to call the emergency numbers when I saw them coming. They had just been stuck in traffic. It was very scary.” The other film Notman-Watt will be showing is Sapphire Fever, which examines the harsh sapphire trade in Madagascar. Both films highlight the pain and destruction that luxuries used in the UK can cause the other side of the globe.
“I’m drawn to the underground, to the flip side of things and it makes for interesting pictures. I guess seeing these glamorous products we use over here and discovering how they impact over there really attracts me. With Sapphire Fever, for example, it was such a fantastic contrast because you’ve got this stone worth so much money in Cartier and Tiffany, and yet it causes so much misery down the bottom.” However, being behind the camera in a documentary can be a thankless task. Endless great ideas are canned by busy TV networks and then once you get out on location, days of planning go into a few seconds of footage which then needs to be painstakingly edited down to fit the slot you’ve been given. “As a result of my previous career, covering breaking news for Associated Press, I have good contacts all around the world, so coming up with the stories is the easy bit. But selling the ideas to TV companies is very hard. You can be an award winner, but it does not mean it’s going to get any easier for you.” It was for that reason, that Notman-Watt set up SEE. “I felt there was a need for a place where young film-makers could show their work without feeling that the industry was going to judge them and shoot them down in flames before they’ve even started. Where you can have a pint with the head of Channel 4, rather than queue with some of the biggest production companies in the country trying to get your idea to them, like you have to at other documentary festivals”. Brighton is a Mecca for young documentary makers and Notman-Watt believes that is largely thanks to the involvement of the universities, whose documentary and media courses guarantee a young audience at SEE. Notman-Watt also calls Brighton a ‘TV hub‘: “There’s loads of production companies here and talent-wise, we’ve got some of the best directors, producers and cameramen, who all live in Brighton. When you put on a festival like this its amazing how many of the big names come”. Notman-Watt, however, warns aspiring documentary makers to be sure of what they’re getting into. “You have to be 100 per cent sure it’s what you want, because you don’t get an easy ride. You need to know how to film and show you can get off your backside. I spend everyday fighting, punching a brick wall trying to get films made. TV is very tough. Very exciting, very challenging, but when it works it’s fantastic”. David’s documentaries do not always tackle highbrow subjects and his credits have included films about Take That and Aled Jones among others. “I’ve always tried to keep my foot in both camps, because if I just did serious stuff, I’d go crazy. It’s quite demanding”. This diverse range of subjects is reflected in the festival’s programme. “We try to create a weekend where there is a variety, that’s interesting for a student or a filmmaker. There is something for everyone and I genuinely enjoy the weekend. Its about making films people want to watch, not making high art.” SEE Festival, Sat 21 and Sun 22 February, Umi Hotel, 64 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NA. seefestival.org or for tickets call 01273 709709 or visit brightonticketshop.com.
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032_LS411 Music_News
2/12/09
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latest music ★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★
NEWS
Dead set Nick Aldwinckle meets talented Brighton stoner rockers Longtomb
Charity gig The exceptional female blues guitarist and singer Dani Wilde is organising a charity event to raise funds for children in the slums of Embu, Kenya. While at BIMM she established a project called The Music For Africa Project and has raised enough money via several fundraisers to provide 70 descant recorders and renovating two classrooms. Now she’s organised another fundraiser on Friday 20 February at the Sanctuary cafe with herself, Alex Gigante and Bernice Macdonald. All money raised will go to the school. For more info visit www.daniwilde.com
Volunteer at The Great Escape The organisers of The Great Escape, Brighton’s best up-and-coming indie and alternative talent festival, are hosting a volunteer drop-in day at the Queens Hotel on Brighton seafront on Wednesday 25 February from 2–5pm. Students and music enthusiasts are invited to sign up and help out at this years event, which is on from Thursday 14 to Saturday 16 May. So if you fancy getting behind the scenes and seeing how one of the biggest music events in Brighton takes shape, head on down! You never know, you might even get to grab a beer for your favourite band. For info: natasha@escapegreat.com
Pavilion gardens and crank it up! If you hear a monstrous noise coming out of an LDV, that’ll be us. I think maybe a problem with us is that we’re too soft for metal fans and too heavy for people on the other side. There’s not much in this midrange. We do the melodic song thing well and the ‘let’s go nuts’ stuff well as well, so once people actually listen to us, they usually like it.
From rehearsing in farmhouses in the Devon village of Luppitt to moving to the city lights of Brighton, vocalist/guitarist Tom Nancarrow and the curiously-monikered drummer, Jammin’, have developed a classy, deep and resonant sound far more complex than you might expect from this unassuming duo. Fusing the heavy stoner rock noise of genre protagonists Kyuss with the more acoustic vibes of grunge’s unplugged moments, they are both reminiscent of their musical heroes yet distinct. Despite only getting together in their current, stripped-down line-up last year, Longtomb already have a number of songs under their belt that would put many more established bands to shame. How did Longtomb come about? Jammin: We started off doing acoustic gigs when we first moved down here as a duo as we were waiting for a bassist to come along. A bassist never quite appeared who was what we were looking for, so we thought ‘f*ck it’ and cracked on with just the two of us. We’ve been recording demos before Christmas and are recording a full EP very soon. People seemed convinced even though it’s just the two of us. I don’t think it’s a glaring lack, but if the right guy or girl comes along we won’t turn them away. We’re playing a few festivals over the summer, a few in Devon and hopefully some more gigs around here after our London shows. Our main goal is to just keep on playing the music. Whenever we’ve stopped in the past, we got miserable, so we can’t stop! How does your music translate live? Tom: We’ve been playing a few acoustic shows lately, which is interesting for some of our heavier songs. We’re also planning to play some gigs from the back of a van. We haven’t decided whether to open the doors yet! We’re thinking we should drive through the barriers of the
What are your influences? Jammin: My major influence, drum-wise, would be Dave Grohl when he was drumming with Queens of the Stone Age. Tom will hate me saying that, but it’s true! I think my more rocky, heavier influences are pretty different to Tom’s more acoustic side to things. I think we complement each other well in that way. Tom learnt the guitar listening to grunge; American bands that don’t exist anymore. Being in the countryside meant we ended up playing really loud: there was no-one around to stop us! We could really go for it – that’s how we play now. Your lyrics are bleak. Are you pessimistic? Tom: I’m not a bleak person, but you can fight your enemies through your lyrics. We’re a band that play optimistic music with pessimistic lyrics. I write about missed opportunities and other people’s emotions, but that’s not to say the bleak stuff’s about me. www.myspace.com/longtomb
UPCOMING GIGS
Bloc Party Three albums in and these explosive post-indie rockers have planted a flag at the top of the pile. Saturday 24 October, Brighton Centre
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Amadou and Mariam 24 Feb, Concorde 2 Candi Staton 25 February, Old Market Acker Bilk 28 February, Old Market Elbow 28 February, Dome The Bluetones 28 February, Concorde 2 Noah & The Whale 7 March, St Georges Emiliana Torrini 14 March, St Georges Tunng & Tinariwen 18 March, De La Warr Lily Allen 20 March, Dome Goldie Lookin’ Chain 23 March, Concorde 2 Rumble Strips 24 March, Komedia Hugh Cornwell 25 March, Concorde 2 Mr Hudson 25 March, Hanbury The Beat 27 March, Concorde 2 Simply Red 31 March, Brighton Centre The Enemy 8 April, Dome
The Prodigy 14 April, Brighton Centre David Byrne 14 April, Dome PJ Harvey 15 April, Corn Exchange Bat For Lashes 16 April, Corn Exchange Gary Moore 17 April, Dome Australian Pink Floyd 28 April, Brighton Centre Gallows 2 May, Concorde 2 Counting Crows 24 May, Brighton Centre Antony & The Johnsons 21 May, Dome Katy Perry 2 June, Dome Jeff Beck 24 June, Dome Loop 11 & 12 July, Victoria Gardens Beachdown 28-31 August Bloc Party 24 Oct, Brighton Centre UB40 9 Dec, Brighton Centre Jools Holland 12 Dec, Brighton Centre
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MUSIC
MUSIC LISTINGS Tuesday 17 The Dolphin Parade + Longtomb + The National Express Featuring decent Brighton via Devon low-key stoner rockers Longtomb. Prince Albert, 7:30pm, £4/3 Malcom Holcombe + The Righteous Ones + Porchlight Smokers Folk and americana from this resident of the Blue Ridge mountains, North Carolina. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £6/5 Open Mic The Brunswick, 8pm, free Passion Pit + Hockey + Bear Hands These Massachusetts electro-pop kids are touted as the 'next big thing' for good reason: their euphoric sound is great. Audio, 7:30pm, £tbc Secret Machines + Filthy Dukes Electrorock. Digital, 7:30pm, £10
Wednesday 18 Club NME: Blueskies Indie club night with quality Brighton act who compare favourably to 8-bit champion The Postal Service. Brighton Coalition, 10pm, free Late of the Pier + Micachu + Connan Mockasin Nu-rave’s heirs are a lot noisier than most. Concorde 2, 8pm, £10.50/9.50 The Sly-Tones Psychedelic rock and garage blues fusion. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £4/3
17 – 23 Feb
Brighton Jazz Club event. Komedia, 8pm, £11+ Dani Wilde The local performer plays a gig to raise funds for African charities. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 8pm, £tbc Elevators Blues. The Brunswick, 8pm, £tbc Flobots Intriguing Denver genre-straddlers, featuring a violinist, rock guitarist, MCs and a knack for quality song-writing. Lovely. Concorde 2, 7pm, £8 Men Diamler Spiritual gospel blues singer, supported by local maverick Seadog. Greenhouse Effect (basement), 8pm, £4 Oxjam Girls with Guitars: Charlie Jones + Kelly and Jade + Betty Lawrence Charidee acoustic gig. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5 Parts & Labor Damned awesome pop-punk from Brooklyn. Catch them at this intimate show. Prince Albert, 7:30pm, £tbc Sound Factory Battle of the Bands: The Beautiful Word + Motel + The Subliminals + Fanny Burger Face Featuring top local folksters The Beautiful Word and, erm, Fanny Burger Face. The Providence, 8pm, £1 We Got Soul: Itchy Fingers Rock and roll and country. Latest Music Bar, 9pm, £6/5 Wild Beasts + Napoleon IIIrd + Le Band Extraordinaire Audio, 7pm, £7.50
Thursday 19
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The Auteur Electro-tinged power-pop. Ocean Rooms, 7:30pm, £tbc Black Lips Scuzzy Atlanta garage rockers. Audio, 7pm, £9/8 The Diablos Local rockers. The Ranelagh, 8pm, free Das Pop Belgian guitar pop.Concorde 2, 7pm, £6 The Jules Franks Band Electroacoustic album launch. The Brunswick, 8pm, £tbc Luis B's Trio Blues. Bee's Mouth, 9pm, free The Other Band Folk band with a wide repertoire. Royal Oak, Lewes, 8pm, £5 Oxjam Fundraiser A special gig in aid of Oxfam. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 8pm, £tbc This Is Soul: Geno Washington, Jimmy James and PP Arnold Three soul veterans. Assembly Hall Theatre, 8pm, £14–23.50 The Walkmen Clanging, weirdo rock that sounds so wrong, it's overwhelmingly right. Concorde 2, 8pm, £14/12 Venetia and the Voltage + Swervin Merv + Vix n the Kix + The Weather Committee Soulful local electro-popsters. Latest Music Bar, 9pm, £4/3
MUSICHIGHLIGHTS Malcolm Holcombe + The Righteous Ones + Porchlight Smokers Another of those stunning blues-folk-americana artists from America that sound like the real deal. With a voice that out-does Tom waits for sheer roughness, Holcombe is a brilliant writer of songs in the Waits, Seasick Steve and Charlie Parr vein. Tuesday 17 February, Latest Music Bar Secret Machines Three-piece New York altrockers promoting new album, another epic swirl of big guitars, big drums and dirty bass. At times their overwhelming sound seems to be enough to nod that head, but on closer inspection there are some decent songs within the space rock vibes. Tuesday 17 February, Digital Late of the Pier + Micachu + Connan Mockasin You may very well hate the look of these Nathan Barley-esque nu-rave innovators, but there’s no denying the intensity of their messy electro-rock hybrid. Shades of Gary Numan permeate throughout the futuristic junkie soundscape LOTP blast mercilessly from the speakers. Vince Noir would love them. Wednesday 18 February, Concorde 2 NA
Saturday 21 The Grand Majestic Funk and soul band. The Brunswick, 8pm, £tbc Joanna MacGregor + Scanner Jazz pianist collaborates with electronic conceptual artist Scanner. De La Warr Pavilion, 8pm, £15 Paul Carrack Mike and the Mechanics man hits Brighton.Brighton Dome, 8pm,£20.50-24.50 Sound Factory: Chumps + Kubrick + These Socks Are On Fire Heavy rock night. The Providence, 8pm, £1 Superheroes Rock: Justice Force 5 The protagonists of the very Brighton movement of Mexican wrestler-themed bands! Brighton Coalition, 8pm, £tbc
Parts and Labor Think of anything good you hear that you don’t know the name of and the chances are that they’re either signed to unceasingly brilliant Canadian label Jagjaguar (The Besnard Lakes, Okkervil River, Black Mountain, Oneida) or playing at the Albert. Conveniently, Friday’s energetic Brooklynite
headliners fit into both categories. Frenetic, pulsating and almost impossibly fun rock to start your weekend as you mean to go on. Friday 20 February, Prince Albert NA Superheroes Rock: Justice Force 5 Led by the charismatic General Bovine, these sillybillies are perhaps the most successful of the conspicuously Brightonian movement of punk and heavy rock bands who dress like wrestlers. Big guitar riffs, mad falsetto screeches and a man with the head of a bull make this just the thing to bring some cheer to this coldest of winters. Saturday 21 February, Brighton Coalition NA Paul Carrack Highly regarded songwriter and musician who has been a member of Ace, Squeeze, Mike & The Mechanics and Roxy Music, and has played on records as diverse as The Smiths debut album and BB Kings Deuces Wild, You may not have heard of him, but you will have heard many of his famous songs. Saturday 21 February, Dome Rob The Rich + Lets Tea Party + The Morning Orchestra + The Fusion The weekly Breakthrough night is throwing up some real treats from here and beyond, Indie in the most general sense, tonight’s bill includes Brighton’s Rob The Rich, a frantic slice of pure indie in the vein of The Maccabees, plus there’s Bristol’s slightly potty Let’s Tea Party, an inspiring piano, flute, guitar, bass indie pop group. Wednesday 18 February, Latest Music Bar
Secret Machines
Sunday 22 Cate Ferris Folk The Brunswick, 8pm, £tbc Gould Piano Trio Schumann, Brahms and Mendelssohn. The Old Market, 11am, £tbc Passion Dance Jazz and world music. The Neptune, 8:30pm, free Shauna Parker and the Saloon Bar Band Cleveland Pub, 8pm, free
Monday 23 Friday 20 Acoustic Rock and Blues Night: The Dealers Folk rock. The Neptune, 8:30pm, free Alan Barnes' Harlem Aircraft Octet
Breakthrough with Rough Trade: Rob The Rich + Lets Tea Party + The Morning Orchestra + The Fusion 'Tree-hugging rockers'. Latest Music Bar, 7:30pm, £3/2
WINTER OFFER • Learn how to sew, knit and make your own clothes and accessories • One to one tuition, from £6 an hour • Men, women and teenagers welcome • Comfortable, friendly home-based setting
all Sushi £2 only * Sunday only * Must book in advance
Making clothes is rewarding, creative, fun and practical. For more info email: natallwood@btinternet.com or call: 01273 727044
If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk
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034_LS411 reviews/chart
2/12/09
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MUSIC
MUSIC REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases I used to have my doubts about Bruce Springsteen; back in the mid-70s the overblown, bombastic racket of Born To Run had me running to my pile of songs marked post-punk and new wave. But there’s no doubt that the excesses of the late 70s and 80s are now marked down as historical aberrations. It wasn’t always the musician’s fault, it was often those damn producers who embraced digital/computers and their inherent clinical nature, and forgot about the ‘soul’. Brucie baby is on quite a run at the moment – everything he does is working well, and Working On A Dream is no exception. Full of driving songs about mavericks, honest John characters, being on the road. Moreover, it’s done with minimal fuss. With an inflated sense of their own artistry Empire Of The Sun have been proclaiming to anyone who will listen about their ‘path of learning’ and ‘search for inner enlightenment’ and how they ‘want to cleanse the soul of the earth…’ Christ, it’s enough to make you want to reach for the barf bag! Horribly contrived, utterly unconvincing, and when you listen to their new album Walking On A Dream you quickly realise how vacant Luke Steele and Nick Littlemore really are. It’s sub Hall & Oates meets Fleetwood Mac fluff with few redeeming features; and instead of purifying you, dear punter, it might just make you turn to edgier, angrier music that cuts the mustard, or commit murder… Canadian psyche-pop quartet The Coast know a thing or two about dynamics, melody, energy and songcraft. Expatriate is full of that and more – new Orderesque rhythms collide with lush harmonies, big guitars and lots of swirliness. Like many North American bands they steer well clear of angsty, sheep-like scenes and stupid sentiments like – ‘we are here to cleanse the world of rubbish indie bands’– that GB bands are prone to. Remixes can, at times, be so effective that they end up outshining the original tracks they’re based upon. Cultish dance label Hell Yeah Recordings embraces this ethos with its recent Confuzed90’s mix EP. Taking old school sounds from the nineties, Italian DJs Blatta and Inesha add a modern sheen to proceedings, though removing none of the original energy that made techno so successful. Possibly a little pointless (why fix what’s not broken?), this is still a decent stab at striking sophisticated Mediterranean gold. Hailing from a somewhat less glamorous location (Newcastle), Smoove & Turrell present their debut full length collection of soul and funk, Antique Soul. The Geordie duo have come along at seemingly exactly the right moment. With the old-fashioned sound of soul and funk to be heard everywhere from Mark Ronson to Gnarls Barkley. Antique Soul is just as accessible as those chart monsters, with a few potential hits, if only they get heard by the right people. Finally, it’s the new EP from London pop-punks Silversky, Calling All Killers. The PR blurb claims comparisons to the great Misfits. This is kind of true and it’s good to hear rock with the slightly ridiculous Glenn Danzig crooner edge. This is nice, accomplished stuff, if a little unoriginal.
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To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to
www.thelatest.co.uk/7/chart Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10
★ 1 Frunt, Bak & Nutz – The Rites Of Wolf ★ 2 Chaos Borne – Watching 3 Thunk – Micromophone 4 Caramel Jack – We Could Build Skyscrapers 5 Freudstein – Sister Sleaze 6 Swarf – Parlour Tricks 7 breakinbear – Breeze 8 Caramel Jack – Curtain 9 tenek – If I Should Fall - ep version 10 The Mojo Fins – Always Now It’s been a long time coming, but the quirky classical-sampling breakbeat sound of Frunt, Bak & Nutz has seen ‘The Rites of Wolf’ knocking funkmeisters Thunk off the number one slot and down to three. The dark dance of Chaos Borne leapfrogs to two as the great Brighton industrialtinged gothery of Freudstein storms the top five with ‘Sister Sleaze’. 11 Chaos Borne The Moment 12 Mr resonate Say what you mean 13 Last Days of Lorca Big Green Parcel Machine 14 R21 Proved You Wrong 15 The Woo!worths K O N I C H I W A (dem oh) 16 tenek State Of Mind 17 Mr resonate All that im not 18 Monsters Build Mean Robots Chimes Breakthrough Light... 19 Glitters From Billy Holiday 20 The Blue Skies Arcade Girl 21 Kontour The Kennedy Syndrome 22 The Mystic Wizards The Vulture Song 23 Guerrilla Audio Another Life 24 St.Michel Remedy 25 Loc E Chemical Romance
26 SPARKER 1000 DAYS (NOW I WANT YOU) 27 DEATH IN THE DISCO 200 Years 28 The Long Goodbye Changing The Guard 29 Amongst The Pigeons Wings Wings BeAt 30 HEAVYMAN TOMB KREATOR VS. HEAVYMAN 31 Lords Spiritual I am the Satellite 32 The Marshan From Marz So Far Remix 33 Taboo Duet 34 Marina Under My Skin 35 129 Die! In Jet Progression 36 Ghostbirds Little Scars 37 My Fabric Changes 38 Rosko For Your Ears Only 39 Go Johnny Go Ebbenflow 40 My Device Uh!
If you would like your event listed please email listings@thelatest.co.uk
035_LS411_Club_listings/club hi
2/12/09
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BARS&CLUBS
For complete listings go to thelatest.co.uk/7
BAR & CLUBLISTINGS 17 – 23 Feb Tuesday 17 Audio Snide. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 Brighton Coalition Latin Fever. Latin music to get your juices flowing. 10pm–2am, free. Digital Glitterati. A classy night for student types. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Funky Buddha Lounge We Luv 90s. Classic 90s anthems. 10:30pm, 90p New Hero This Exists. Fresh music for cool kids! An uncompromising blend of high quality pop culture. 10pm, £2 Pavilion Tavern Guerrilla Rocks. Indie, rock, metal and punk mash-up. 10:30pm–2am, £1–£3 Tru Bandwagon. Student night with club anthems, old school R’n’B and classic house. 10pm–2:30am, £1–£3 Water Margin Sessions. Run by students and playing for the students. 11pm–4am, £2/free.
Wednesday 18 Arc Life is Easy. A mid-week interlude of indie classic new and old, plus floorfillers a plenty. 10pm, £1/free. Audio Supercharged. Croydon’s dubstep wonder child, Skream administers a serious mid-week session. 11pm–2:30am, £5/4. Brighton Coalition Club NME. A beerfest for All Stars wearing rock/indie fans with live NME bands and Brighton DJs. 10:30pm–3:30am, free. Po Na Na Urban Chic. R’nB, Hip Hop, Dance Hall & Funky House. 10pm–3am, free/£2. Volks Genetics. Liquid, soulful, progressive and darkside bass and breaks. 10pm–3am, £1 b4 12/£2 after. Water Margin Forgive Me Father for I Have Synth’d. Old school revival of 80s electro, breakdance, pop and rock. 11pm–3am, £tbc. Genetics Playing a mixture of intelligent, liquid, neuro and darkside D’n’B. 3am–6am, £2/free.
Thursday 19 Audio Shameless Presents Quids In. Trashy pop anthems, indie classics and retro hits plus a hefty raffle prize. 11pm, £1 Brighton Coalition Them. Weekly Dubstep and Grime. 10:30pm–3am, free. Digital Thursday Club – Tracksuit Party. Breakbeat and electronica from the comfort of your trackies with Tayo and guests. 11pm–3:30am, Free in Tracksuits/£5 without. Funky Buddha Lounge Double R Records. The freshest hip hop, R&B and Bassline trax. 10pm–3am, £3/2. Honey Club Contagious. Southern FM’s Paul Hilyer plays house and dance anthems. 10:30pm–3am, £3/1 The Hope Brap FM. Thursdays are the new Fridays with everything from Downtempo to Techno! 8pm–2am, free. Po Na Na Secret Discotheque. Return to the 80s. 10pm–3am, £3/2 Water Margin Love Lockdown. DJs; Show n Prove, Skills, Kush, and special guests. 7:30pm, Ladies free entry all night!
Friday 20 2 One One Lollipop. R’n’B and Hip Hop. 11pm–3am, free before 11.30pm Arc Some Kind of Wonderful. Sixties Night. 11pm–3am, £3 Audio Suicide Dance. Dance til you combust to the D'n'B beats of Dom & Roland plus, High Rankin. 11pm–4am, £5. Brighton Coalition Karaoke Rock Star. Perform live, with a full rock band playing live on stage with you. Guitar envy no more. 10pm–2am, free. Concorde 2 Paul Woolford. Torso thrashing house and electronica from Paul Woolford plus support. 11pm-4am, £8/6. Digital Stonelove. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll with DJ and bands. 11pm–3am, £4 Engine Rooms Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock alternative for eyeliner’d up boys and girls in PVC. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Funky Buddha Lounge Release. Funky House, Soulful House and R&B. 11pm-6am, free b4 12/£5 after. Funky Fish The Funkyfish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £5/3.50 Honey Club Time presents.... Multicultural,
Metrosexual and most definitely Hedonistic mixed up with fine house mixes. 10:30pm–4am, £8.50-5. Komedia Born Bad. 11pm, £6/5. New Hero Somewhere in the Universe… Leading alt electro dance party. 10pm, £5/3 Ocean Rooms Strictly Drumz. Jungle and D'n'B with a very special guest. 11pm, £TBA. Pavilion Tavern Kick Out The Jams. Rock’n’Roll mayhem sploshed together with beer, indie anthems and punk. 10:30pm–3am, £5/3 Po Na Na Ice Box. Funky house night for a dressed up crowd. 10pm–3am, £5/4 Tru Skint. Playing mainstream funky house, R’n’B and Cheesey disco hits. 10pm–2am, free b4 11/£3 after. Volks Insurgence. Hard house, trance and groovy hard funk from Pickup & Rise and Iain Cross. 11pm, £7/6. Water Margin Sexx Shop. The finest house vibes. 9pm-3am, £6/5.
Saturday 21 Arc Hold Up. Unpretentious indie night. 10:30pm–4am, £5 Audio SoL’s Winter Sessions. The don of free parties brings some winter love with guest Serge Santiago. 11pm–4am, free. Brighton Coalition Pop Musik. Unadulterated pop pleasures, classic hits and maverick pop genius! 11pm-4am, £10/6. Brighton Coalition Blow the Afterparty. High grade tech-house and electro. 3am–9am, £7-4. Concorde 2 King of The Jungle. Jungle big cats Nicky Blackmarket and Micky Finn provide massive beats til dawn. 11pm–5am, £8. Digital Playroom. 11pm–4am, £12. Engine Rooms Classic Rock. Classic rock and metal night. 10pm–2am, free b4 10:30/£5 after. Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Disco, funk, house and rare groove from Juice Fm’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10 Funky Buddha Lounge Filthy Disco. A huge dose of filthy, dirty house with HRH Queen Jo and Miss Masters. 3am, £5. Funky Fish The Funkyfish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £5/3.50 Honey Club Sevensins. Big room electro and house with guest UMEK. 10:30pm–5am, £12/5 La Tropicale Houseworks. Quality house from all over the world. 8pm–4am, free b4 11/ £6 after. Latest Music Bar Stick It On.11pm–3am, £8. New Hero It Is Still 1985. An alternative 80s night full of outrageous tunes! 10pm, £3 Pavilion Tavern Drop Zone. Dark, Heavy, Glam, Alternative Dance and beer to dribble down you til you drop! 10:30pm–3am, £4/2 Po Na Na Silk. R'n'B, Funky House and Commercial. 10pm-3am, £10-5. Tru Glitterbaby. Thickly spreading your favourite chart tunes across 3 rooms. 9pm–3am, £10/8. Volks Darklight. Darkside D'n'B. 10pm-5am, £5. Water Margin X-Town Traffic. Double decker house sandwich with Verity Mayes up top and Transformer Live below. 10pm, £tbc. Water Margin Logo. Future heroes to world famous DJs spin house tunes. 3am–8am, £7/5.
BAR & CLUBHIGHLIGHTS Club NME Indie-electro pop boys The Blueskies join the Wednesday mayhem. Hurling an upbeat assault of intelligent dark lyrics masked with catchy tunes upon the ears of the Allstars adorned crowd. Plus the NME DJ troupe lay down their usual blend of alternative floorfillers to slop your cheap beer to. A night to partially remember. Wednesday 18 February, Brighton Coalition Born Bad A sexy night of delinquent rhythms. Red hot rockability. 50s rock’n’roll. 6Ts garage and girl groups, surf, sleaze, bop and exotica for crazy cats from all over the spectrum. Young to old, ink sporting or not, vintage wearing or modern threads, slicked or spiked. This event calls all walks to the floor for a wild evening of body flinging and hip swinging. Friday 20 February, Komedia Playroom More fun than an outfit made entirely of Play Doh, it’s playtime at Playroom! Bulging with a 15ft bouncy castle, ball pit, space hoppers and make-up artist, you will
bound from each activity like a Smartie-filled youngster. Set to the backdrop of uplifting funky and dirty electro grooves dolled out by Nippa and guests. Get down fast and stick two to maturity. Saturday 21 February, Digital Stonelove These Leeds new-wave rockers are another one of those new bands being hyped to death at the moment. High energy pop hooks and nicely catchy tunes look certain to guarantee some easy listening success for Sky Larkin. Friday 30 January, Audio Stick It On Fresh from Komedia, Stick It On blast their eccentricity and energy in the intimate and charming Latest Music Bar. Take a shot at DJ stardom with 15 minutes of deck domination at your tips and an uncompromising music policy. Or lack of! All that’s required is a catalogue of torso thrusting tunes and a worthy DJ alter ego. No experience necessary so apply now online. Saturday 21 February, Latest Music Bar.
Playroom, Saturday
Sunday 22 Arc Irie. Ragga, R’n’B, Hip Hop and UK Garage. Sundays are the new Fridays! 10pm–3am, £5/3 Honey Club Sundelicious. Knockin’ siesta Sundays into the past, Lee Garrett and Salerno play house and soulful beats. 10pm–3am, £2/1 The Open House We Change The Frequency. All things diverse from Radiohead, Madlib, National Forest and Playgroup. 8pm, free.
Monday 23 Brighton Coalition Trash Mondays. Filthy student fun. 10:30pm–3am, free. Funky Buddha Lounge Urban Lounge. Best in Old skool garage, R’n’B, Hip Hop, Bashment and swing. 10:30pm–3am, £3/2 Honey Club Disco Babe. Disco and indie with drinks £1.50 all night. 10:30pm–2:30am, £3/1 Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys. Cocktail of funk, reggae, indie and pop. 10pm–2:30am, £3/1.
➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory for details
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STAND-UP COMEDY
ART
A laughing matter Victoria Nangle asks what has happened to political comedy, and is it coming back? Politics in comedy is out of fashion. It has been for some time. The current crop of young upstart comics weren’t even born when the first ‘alternative’ wave of comics released their ire upon the world in the 80s. Do any of them even know who Alexei Sayle is? That’s not really fair, as The Comic Strip Presents… has become cult viewing among a select group of twentysomethings, but it doesn’t answer the question in point: where have all the political comics gone? There will always be an element of political awareness in everyone’s stand-up. It stands to reason that living in the world you’re going to bump heads with the authorities at some point, especially if you’re not living the life of the nine-to-fiver. However, pointing out that Bush Jnr might’ve fared better if he’d kept his trap shut does not a political commentator make. Making people think while they laugh and informing them at the same time – now there’s a challenge. One of the most prominent partakers of thinking political comedy is Mark Thomas. Still doing the rounds decades on from when he first started, he’s a witty investigator who doesn’t demand that you agree with him – simply that you give some thought to the topic at hand.
“Pointing out that Bush Jnr might’ve fared better if he’d kept his trap shut does not a political commentator make“ Raising issues such as government arms trading, military air space zoning and multinational bullying, he not only informs but also cajoles a desire to learn more by being a good comic. Could it be that most contemporary comics don’t bother simply because we, the public at large, aren’t bothered? Is this why gags about popular culture celebrities go down so well? Is that why urban legend has more people voting for Big Brother than for Tony Blair? It seems that political spin has left us apathetic, except for the passing nod to Bremner, Bird and Fortune. However, and I like this a lot, we have a new great political comedy hope. Barack Obama has given an awful lot of people a renewed faith in the political system and the possibility of change. And how do you get change? You fight. And the best way to do that is with words and laughter, poking fun at the ridiculous and provoking thought of the possibilities. Comic Ed Byrne commented that Obama’s presidency will raise the bar in political comedy. It’s no longer a series of idiot quotes from the leader of the Western world, but a harder look at what is currently a president with real believable policies. And with that feeling of greater involvement, combined with a dramatic change in the global economy, everyone is involved in a political sense. So maybe our comics will be too. Less nob jokes, more hobnobbing jokes. Here’s hoping.
☺
Stand-up wisdom: “Ikea doesn’t sell furniture – it sells expensive puzzles.” Dominic Holland
COMEDYLISTINGS Wednesday 18 Mark Watson: All The Thoughts I’ve Ever Had Since I Was Born One of Britain's most talked about comedians. In 2008 alone Mark Watson won Best Show at the Adelaide and Sydney Comedy Festivals. Komedia, 7pm, £14
Judy Garland’s daughter. Also on Friday. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £7/5 Dan Antopolski and Isy Suttie Perrier Best Newcomer Award nominee Dan Antopolski, mostly known for his surreal stand-up, will be sharing the bill with fellow Brit Isy Suttie. Komedia, 8pm, £12/10
Thursday 19 James Haslem is Touching Cloth This takes comic stories from James Haslem’s life: being a runaway Dalek in Doctor Who; getting arrested in a wig and fur coat and spending an afternoon in his home with
36 latest 7
➧ For full listings go to thelatest.co.uk/7
Saturday 21 Krater Comedy Club Cracking comedy from John Moloney, Jeff Innocent and one other, compered by the unstoppable Rufus Hound. Komedia, 7pm & 10:30pm, £16.50
Greg Sturges Trained as a dramatherapist at the Central School of Speech and Drama, Sturges has been subsequently exploring his creativity via photography, acrylics and mixed media. This Brightonian uses images from his home town in reflecting the diverse cultural influences as well as celebrating the more humorous and fun side of living in this city by the sea, engaging the viewer in a reassessment of the familiar and mundane. Greg Sturges, Tin Drum Kemp Town, until 20 February
ART LISTINGS Bellis Gallery
DE LA WARR PAVILION
8-9 Kings Road, Brighton, 01273 747429 Patrick O’Donnell New work from this gifted local artist whose work embraces the abstract, and sometimes the apocalyptic. Intense, yet radiant. Mon, Wed–Sat 10.30am–6.30pm, Sun 11.30am–6pm
Bexhill-on-Sea, 01424 229111 William Furlong Anthem continues Furlong’s use of the voice and sound as the primary materials of his work where he makes original recordings of individuals in specific places, chosen at random and who happen to be passing by. For Anthem, the location is the De La Warr and Bexhill. Until 15 March, Mon–Sun 10am–6pm
Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 292882 Lives Less Photographed: Working Class Life in Brighton, 1860–1935 Exhibition that reveals rare images of local working class life; the people, and the lost areas of Brighton where they lived. Until 26 April Paintings Unwrapped This exhibition takes 60 paintings and helps you look at them with a fresh eye. Many of them will be on display for the first time in many years and include modern, local, international and historical works. Until 13 April Human Resources 50 portraits by Russell Webb of front-line staff from the Royal Pavilion and Brighton Museum, including cleaners, technicians, collectors and gardeners among others. Until 1 March
INK_D GALLERY 96 North Road, Brighton, 01273 645299 Ben Allen Known for his vibrant palette and screens peppered with stark graphics, Ben Allen’s new solo show Life, Death and Other Colour In Between, explores the realms of the unplanned, plays with mishaps, and unfolds sublime images that reflect on life itself. Until 1 March, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm
University of Brighton Gallery Grand Parade, Brighton 01273 643010 From Art School to University: Art and Design at Brighton 1859-2009 Bringing together work from artists and designers associated with the university, celebrating the founding of the original School of Art 150 years ago. Until 14 March, Mon-Sat 10am–5pm
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2/13/09
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LATESTGAY
See more at thelatest.co.uk
Brighton’s only weekly gay guide NEWS
GAYLISTINGS 17 – 23 February Tuesday 17
Ball games allowed If you fancy a kickabout, a beer, a game of table footie and some live music, the library isn’t usually your first port of call. But that will change during Winter Pride, when a one day football festival will take place in Brighton’s Jubilee Square and Jubilee Library. Shhhhhhhhhh OUT! and the Justin Campaign Football Festival will take place on Saturday, 7 March from 1pm to 11pm. During the day, the public will get the chance to train with FA coaches in the square. There will be teams from the Gay Football Supporters’ Network league and music from DJ Nine-Bob. At 3pm, new football team the Justin Fashanu All-Stars will unveil their new kit, sponsored by Fatboy Slim. The team, representing The Justin Campaign against homophobia in football, has been formed to play in all kinds of tournament matches and friendlies. Their first fixtures will be at the GFSN five-a-side tournament in Yorkshire. Inside the library, there will be an exhibition of Justin Fashanu memorabilia and art by Jason Hall. At 3.30pm, sports documentary maker Ian McDonald will present a screening of his film Brighton Bandits, the first ever in-depth documentary about a gay football team. At 6.30pm performer Johnny Woo will host the first annual gay table football tournament, with 32 teams competing for the chance to play on the Gay Wembley of Football Tables. Teams are encouraged to dress up in football kit, as WAGs or in supporters colours. At 8.30pm singer songwriter Nicky Mitchell will showcase live music from up-and-coming LGBT bands and musicians including blues eight piece The Calvary and singer Amy Stephens. The evening event is free but by ticket only. Pick up tickets from the library’s booklover store, The Justin Campaign on justincampaign@gmail.com, the LGBT Workers Forum or GScene on info@gscene.com The bar will be open from 6.30pm to 10.30pm. The event is sponsored by GScene and Winter Pride. Winter Pride takes place from Saturday 7 to Sunday 15 March. For the full programme, visit www.brightonpride.org
Amsterdam Skint or Mint. Gay Bingo. 8pm. Brighton Tavern Games Galore. Sticking it to maturity with a range of games. 12pm, free. Ghetto Twisted Karaoke. Nothin’ from your dad’s collection! Hosted by Mistress Cat. 9:30pm, free. Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday. Friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free. Marlborough Free poker night. Queen’s Arms Skint. Unlimited drinks wristbands for £10 plus a guest DJ and karaoke. A credit crunch gem. 8pm–11pm, free. R-Bar Shoot Me Baby! FREE shot of Corky’s or Sourz with every alcoholic bevvy! 12pm–2am. Revenge Playground. School Disco with a twist. All your naughty youth trax from the 80s, 90s and 00s! 10:30pm–4am, Free NUS/school uniform/£3 others. The Aquarium Theatre Bar Josh Mills’s Music Night. With Uncle Ben’s quiz night from 9pm. Bar open 12pm, free. The Basement Scene Queen. New night for scene staff and students with DJ Lil’ Alex. 11pm–4am, free.
Wednesday 18 Ghetto Transition. DJ Peter Von Sleaze spins, rock, metal and 80s tastic cheese with a sprinkling of goth! 10pm–2am, £2.50. Legends Super Karaoke. New karaoke & quiz night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre YouTube Night. 8pm, free. Queen's Arms The Q-Factor Heat 3 – Big Prize Money! Annual singing contest, sign up before 8:45pm. Bar open 12pm–1am, free. R-Bar Rush99. DJ Lil’ Alex spins on the decks plus a 99p rush bar! 12pm–2am, free. Revenge Rush150. Commercial dance and house sounds served up by DJ Lil’ Alex plus a rush bar! 10:30pm–3am, free before 12am/£2 after/free NUS. Star Inn Charity Jukebox. Bar 12pm–11pm. The Basement Play. With DJ Alex Baker spinning all things house. 11pm–4am, free.
floors of mayhem with guest DJs. 9pm–2am. Queen’s Arms Camp Attack. Definitive handbag, commercial and camp tunes with DJ Andy B Back by popular demand! Plus unlimited drinks wristbands for £20! 9pm, free. R-Bar The GirlsOnTop Bar. DJ Smiffy hauls her best in trash, pop and party tunes from Girls on Top to R-Bar. 12pm–2am. Revenge Lollipop & Housexual. Top pop tunes from Stewart T. Upstairs find funky vocal house with DJ Hollie and guests. 10:30pm–5am, £7/5. The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Alex Baker plays girly pop & handbag tracks all night long. 11pm–4am, free all night!
Saturday 21 Amsterdam Sun Downers. Enjoy the best beach house music in Brighton. 8pm–2am, free. Charles Street Club Electronic Disco. Soulful, funk heavy house spun by HRH Queen Jo and Kate Wildblood plus DJs Mikalis & Miss Masters from 11pm. 9pm–3am, free/£2. Ghetto Wigout. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. 10pm, free b4 11. Legends Pre-Ignition. Dance sounds from 7pm. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Marly DJs. Guest DJs and live music. 9pm–2am, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre The Steamphunk Hidden Cabaret. Peruse the NeoVictoriana market by day, and marvel at the retro futuristic cabaret acts by night. 12pm, £free b4 8/5 after. Queen’s Arms Karaoke Party with Kamp Kevin. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3:30–5:30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin. Bar open 12pm–12:30am, free. R-Bar Kinky Baby. KD warm-up with Dulcie Danger from 9pm. Bar open 12pm–7am, free. Revenge Kinky Dangerous. 4 top DJs, 2 floors, and 5.5 hours of fun. 10:30pm–4am, £7/3. The Basement Ignition. With the funky house and chart remix sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free all night! The PV at The Jury’s Out Saturday Madness. The best in Brighton duets from 4:30pm, then PV’s house DJs take over! Bar open 12pm, free.
Sunday 22 Thursday 19
Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 181 ACROSS: 7 Holster 8 Mania 9 Datum 10 Kestrel 11 Cleverness 14 Temperance 17 Tenuous 19 Miles 20 Taper 21 Enlists. DOWN: 1 Platter 2 Stampede 3 Broken 4 Amos 5 Snare 6 Sallowness 9 Decapitate 12 Scramble 13 Analyst 15 Pastel 16 Snipe 18 Ours. Solution to Quick 181 ACROSS: 7 Sensual 8 Olive 9 Ovoid 10 Redress 11 Technology 14 Impoverish 17 Diurnal 19 Thump 20 Swarm 21 Nunnery. DOWN: 1 Invoice 2 Duodenum 3 Floral 4 Cold 5 Siren 6 Censorship 9 Outlandish 12 Greeting 13 Bitumen 15 Oblong 16 Mural 18 Numb. © Crossword Shop
Charles Street Bar Mad Cow. Cheap as Primark pants. 8pm–11pm, £1. Charles Street Club Religion. Two floors of funky house. Hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with Tony B and Mikalis. 10pm–3am, £4/3 Ghetto Creamy Fingers. The finest pop & alternative tunes, and cabaret capers with Boogaloo Stu. 10pm, £free b4 11/3 or 4 after. Legends Thursday Cabaret Lounge. 9:30pm, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Open Mic. 8pm. Queen's Arms Spice's Nooks & Crannies!. A Cabaret show with a difference. 9:30pm, free. R-Bar I Can’t Wait For The Weekend To Begin!. Funked up, soulful and uplifting house from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free. Revenge Girls on Top. Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes. 10:30pm–4am, free b4 11:30 with passes, £4/5 after. The Basement Box. Chart hit remixes, funky house and dance anthems. 11pm–4am, free.
Friday 20 Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies dished. Bar open 11am. Charles Street Club Curiosity Lite. Pure unadulterated trashy disco pop, 10:30pm–3am, £5/4/3 NUS. Ghetto Popstarz. Playin’ indie recent and retro! 10pm, free b4 11. Legends Pre-Celebration. Pure Pop. 7pm, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Girls’ Night. 2
Amsterdam Sunday Lunch. Traditional roasts (12–5:30pm) and relaxing sunday vibes with a cabaret twist from 8pm, free. Charles Street Bar Showtime. This week it’s the sharp-tongued, big-hearted, Lola Lasagne. 7.15pm, free. Ghetto Sirens. Burlesque night with pole dancing and shows. 9pm, free. Legends Sunday Cabaret and Chill Out. 3:15pm, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Yummy roasts. 12pm, free. Queen's Arms Cabaret & Betty's Karaoke. With Lola Lasagne from 5:30pm. 12pm, free. The Basement Embrace. Dripping in charty tracks provided by DJ Nick Shepherdson from G-A-Y! 11pm–4am, free.
Monday 23 Amsterdam The Monday Musical. Bar open 11am, free. Charles Street Club Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin the best party tracks with mammoth drinks promos. 10pm–2am, £1.50. Ghetto Frat Party. A chaotic mash-up of indie, electro and credible. 10pm, free. Legends Dave Lynn and Friends. A hysterical night of cabaret, 9:30pm. Bar open 11pm–5am. Marlborough Trans night. 8pm, free R-Bar Miss Jason's Mad House. Cabaret night plus a Wii Zone and free pool! 10pm, free. The Basement Back to the 80s and 90s. Nostalgic Floorfillers with Steve Lush. 11pm–4am, free.
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latestTV Dani on TV
She says it how she sees it
Films on TV
Channel 4 Tuesdays
Bringing Down The House
★★✩✩✩ (2002, BBC1, 11.40pm. Dir Adam Shankman) Dennis Pennis rather cruelly once asked Steve Martin how come he wasn’t funny anymore. This rather proves his point. Matching an uptight middle class Martin with Queen Latifah, escaped from jail to be with her internet honey – Martin, the mayhem doesn’t match up to his earlier shenanigans.
SATURDAY 21 TUESDAY 17 Silence Of The Lambs ★★★★★ (1991, ITV2, 10pm. Dir Jonathan Demme) Pastiched so many times, it’s easy to forget this is actually a cracking yarn, with excellent performances that won both Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster an Oscar a-piece. In case you didn’t know – FBI newbie Foster is on the trail of a serial killer, picking Hopkins’ warped brain to help her crack the case.
WEDNESDAY 18 Sleeping With The Enemy
★★★✩✩ (1991, Five, 10pm. Dir Joseph Ruben Listed under ‘things that make you go blimmin heck!,’ this taut thriller stars Julia Roberts as the nice lady who fakes her own death to get away from her abusive husband, Patrick Bergen. Not one to watch in the house on your own, but great if you want to make yourself jump loads. youngest of the group acting more mature. After two days the boys are ready to leave. None of them can cook, they have no dry clothes and they all miss their mums. Most of the parents encouraged their children to enter the little adultfree village to see how they would get on; many of the kids spend all their time being waited on by their parents. It also gives the parents a chance to see what their children get up to when left to their own devices. And a few of them are finding that their children are a bit mean. In the first episode the parents decided they should intervene, the girls needed a good talking to and the boys needed a bit of motherly love. One of the boys, Sid, decided to leave with his mum. At which point his mother said something very interesting. She pointed out that a woman does not want a man who does nothing but sit on his bum, and yet mothers are raising their boys to be like that. It appeared, very early on, that this is not just a learning curve for the children involved but their parents too. Is the behaviour of the children influenced by their upbringing? Is a bully made that way by their parents? It appeared a slightly cruel idea to send 20 children away from their parents to fend for themselves but, on second thoughts, it may give us a rare insight into the lives of children. 38 latest 7
Top tips for your week of flicks beautifully acted by an ensemble cast that includes Tom Cruise, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Julianne Moore and William H Macy. Bigger than the sum of its parts.
Boys and Girls Alone Ten boys and ten girls aged between eight and 12 are given the opportunity to live without their parents, or any adults, for two weeks. The girls have one house and the boys have the other, and they will be living entirely on their own, with no adult supervision at all. They will have to cook, clean, and care for themselves. Their parents will be watching what their kids get up to via CCTV and they can pull their kids out of the experiment at any time. There are also trained chaperones on hand who will step in whenever a child really needs it. The aim of the experiment is to find out whether children can fend for themselves. It is clear from the very start that none of them can. Nor can they act civilised and last an hour without an argument. The girls instantly did well when it came to making food and feeding themselves while the boys couldn’t even boil the kettle, although the boys were the first to set up a set of rules even though they were mainly rules about water fighting. The girls attempted to make rules but didn’t get very far before an argument broke out. Watching the behaviour of the kids is interesting. One thing that I found fascinating was when one of the children hit another – he had broken the ‘house rules’– the rest of the group agreed that his punishment should be to be squirted with a water gun, which caused him to storm off swearing and start crying. He clearly didn’t think thumping someone round the back with a pole was worthy of any kind of punishment. The girls came divided into two groups very quickly, with the
17 – 23 Feb
THURSDAY 19 True Identity ★✩✩✩✩ (1991, BBC1, 11.35pm. Dir Charles Lane) Ever wanted to see what Lenny Henry would look like if he was white? Us neither. This is Henry’s foray into Hollywoodland, taking a change of ethnicity over drag in the Some Like It Hot hiding from the mob plot.
FRIDAY 20 Magnolia ★★★★★ (1999, SkyMovies Indie, 10pm. Dir Paul Thomas Anderson) A connection of smaller stories, bringing together coincidences and
Scooby Doo ★★★✩✩ (2002, ITV1, 3.50pm. Dir Raja Gosnell) Much maligned but fun if you’re a kid live-action version of the popular investigative great dane. With Sarah Michelle Gellar as Daphne, Freddie Prinze Junior as Fred and a natty Matthew Lillard as Scooby’s best mate Shaggy, it’s knowing but fun regardless. The Bourne Identity ★★★★✩ (2002, ITV1, 9pm. Dir Tim Burton) The first in the action series starring Matt Damon as Jason Bourne, a man with no memory of who he is but some kick ass hand to hand combat tricks. As he searches further for some clue as to who he is he’s joined by Franka Potente to help, as well various assassins out to stop any such discoveries.
SUNDAY 22 Murder By Death ★★★★★ (1976, Five, 4.20pm. Dir Robert Moore) This Neil Simon penned comedy sends up the mystery genre with aplomb, and with the aid of a fantastic cast including Peter Falk, David Niven, Peter Ustinov and Dame Maggie Smith. Also, a rare acting outing for Truman Capote as the host of the gathering of famous detectives, challenged to solve a murder in their midst.
MONDAY 23 28 Days Later ★★★★✩ (2002, Channel 4, 10pm. Dir Danny Boyle) Zombie flick, written by Alex Garland and starring Cillian Murphy as Jim. Jim wakes up from a cycling accident to find London’s filled with flesh-eating zombies, with only pockets of survivors left. Making a break for it seems a plan, but where is safe?
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tuesday 17 Mistresses BBC1, 9pm The ladies with the complicated love lives but more dating etiquette than the Pulling girls have moved on with their lives over the past year, but things ain’t simple. Katie’s starting a new job having sworn off blokes, only to find her boss is an ex. Jess is swept off her feet by a playboy. And Siobhan has a dark secret.
The Big Bang Theory Channel 4, 11.05pm We’ve all got friends like central comic characters, geeks Leonard and Sheldon. Heck, we’ve all been Leonard and Sheldon even if we won’t admit it. The loveable social misfits face the task of getting OCD Sheldon to face up to his fear of driving. Reasonable behaviour is not an option, and we love him all the more for it.
Freaky Eaters BBC3, 8pm It’s dinner time and you still don’t know what you want to eat, unlike the subjects of this specialised series who eat the same thing day in and day out. Nutritionist Charlotte Watts and psychological Felix Economakis try and get them to see a world beyond cheese and crisps. Still feeling indecisive?
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Thumb Wrestling Federation 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 Hotel Trubble 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 MySay 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 9.30 Dani’s House 10.00 Stake Out 10.30 Gimme A Break 11.00 Dangermouse 11.20 The Flintstones 11.45 Murder Most Famous 12.30pm Working Lunch 1.00 Meerkat Manor 1.20 Animal 24:7 2.05 The World At War 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 ER 10.20 ER 11.15 Back To You 11.45 Proud Parents 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 The Savoy: Checking Into History 12.50 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.55 FILM: The Gunfight At Dodge City (1959) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Ann Maurice: Interior Rivalry 12.30pm Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.05 FILM: Mary And Tim (1996) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders As the residents of Walford prepare a memorial service for Garry, Dawn is finally forced to confront her true feelings for him, but is it too late? If there’s a memorial service you may find that horse has already bolted, sweets. 8.00 Holby City Joseph’s waking nightmare continues, and he decides that he needs to rid himself of Jac before she ruins his life for good. But when he tries to pay her off, will Jac take it? She’s a long game kinda gal. 9.00 Mistresses See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Make Me Live Forever Thought provoking film that moves from the quirky to cutting edge science as Michael Mosley attempts to find out if he can live forever. He embarks on a calorie restricted diet, injects himself with testosterone and visits a life-extension house. Nutty. 11.15 Film 2009 With Jonathan Ross Clint Eastwood discusses his part in US box office hit Gran Torino. 11.45 Damages Acclaimed American legal drama. 12.45am FILM: Student Seduction (2003) 2.10 Weatherview 2.15 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.45 Lark Rise To Candleford 3.45 Around The World In 80 Faiths 4.45 BBC News
6.00 Battle Of The Brains Quiz show hosted by Nicky Campbell. Completely conusmer-friendly too. 6.30 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the show where every day a new team of challengers take on probably the greatest quiz team in Britain. 7.00 Who Do You Think You Are? Chef Rick Stein explores his family’s troubled past. 8.00 Oz And James Drink To Britain Oz and James begin their exploration of the South West with a trip to a traditional cider farm. 8.30 MasterChef The four remaining semi-finalists buckle down. 9.00 Horizon: Can We Make A Star On Earth? Professor Brian Cox takes a global journey in search of the energy source of the future. Nuclear fusion is the process that fuels the sun and every other star. Yet despite over five decades of effort, scientists are having a spot of bother getting it to work here. Hmm. 10.00 The Culture Show With the Oscars coming up, The Culture Show brings an alternative – The Kermode Awards. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Arena: Harold Pinter Nigel Williams presents a two-part film biography exploring the life, work and political passions of the famous playwright and actor. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 Ma France 3 & 4
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The Dingle clan are furious when they learn of Eli’s betrayal of Debbie. And you thought ‘StEnders’ Mitchells were the definition of faa-mily. Dingles ahoy! 8.00 Doctors And Nurses At War Final episode of a three-part series following volunteer doctors and nurses from the NHS and full-time army surgeons in a front-line hospital in Afghanistan. 9.00 In The Line Of Fire Ken Stott narrates the conclusion of a two-part documentary that follows CO19, the firearms division of the Metropolitan Police charged with tackling London’s gun criminals. 10.00 News At Ten And Weather 10.35 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show Anarchic sketch show starring the inimitable Katy Brand. 11.05 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Another chance to catch last Saturday’s chuckleworthy instalment. 11.35 Identical Triplets: Their Secret World Of the 750,000 babies born every year in the UK, only four sets are identical triplets. The film profiles four sets of such siblings, including Britain’s oldest surviving set of identical triplets. 12.30am Guinness Premiership Rugby 1.20 Loose Women 2.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Jacqui sells the stolen goods but Carmel is angry with her family after catching them shoplifting and wants to report the lot of them. That or put them on the naughty step. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny Promotions girl Christine thinks her diet is healthy because she’s following the government’s advice on eating fruit and vegetables. Martin is living on fatty, salty junk food. Diet swap and the foodie sadism begins. 9.00 Boys And Girls Alone The children face a two-day camping trip in the great outdoors. While the girls over-pack, the boys decide they need a new leader to guide them. 10.00 Shameless Gritty comedy drama series. Frank sets out to prove he is capable of house work. 11.05 The Big Bang Theory See highlights. 11.35 My Name Is Earl US comedy series. Earl is set an assignment after attending a prison class which focuses on creative writing. 12.05am Party Poker: Premier League Poker 1.05 4Sport: Destination 2012 2.00 Cycling Revolution 23 2.25 KOTV Classics 3.25 Freesports On 4 (x2) 4.45 Time Team 5.40 The Treacle People 5.50 The Hoobs
6.00 Home And Away Alf is left a broken man after he learns of Bridget’s deception. Like Humpty Dumpty. 6.30 Wild Animal ER Documentary. Les performs a dramatic rescue when a deer falls down a ten-foot well. Did Lassie come find him, and is the deer named Timmy? 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Highland Emergency Following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. 8.00 Mr And Mrs Wolf Two-part documentary following the work of ‘wolf man’ Shaun Ellis. Shaun has been living with the pack for over seven years, but now it’s time for them to meet the girlfriend. Scary in-laws or what?! 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation A double fatality at a Korea Town block party has the CSIs on the hunt for a missing boy who was the key witness to the shooting of his mother and uncle. 10.00 CSI: Miami Horatio’s son goes missing after a prison van is attacked. 11.00 CSI: NY A practical joke spirals into a murder mystery when a skeleton placed on a tour bus turns out to be authentic. 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 Boxing Classic 1.25 NBA Basketball 4.20 NBA All Star Slam Dunk Special 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 6.30 Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Big League Weekend 10.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 11.30 H2O Sports International 12.00pm Big League Weekend 1.00 LIVE Test Cricket 3.00 LIVE Test Cricket 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.15 Revista De La Liga 11.15 Football Asia 11.45 Hyundai A League 12.15am Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 1.45 Revista De La Liga 2.45 Hyundai A League 3.15 Football Asia 3.45 Revista De La Liga 4.45 Hyundai A League 5.15 Football Asia 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 8.00 Poker 10.00 IRB Rugby World Sevens 1.00pm Poker 3.00 IRB Rugby World Sevens 6.00 Football Asia 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 LIVE: Football – Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 10.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 11.00 Max Power 12.00am NFL: Top Ten 1.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 2.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 9.30am Motor Racing 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Fishing: Bass Fishing 1.00 Powder Adventures 1.30 Wild Spirits 2.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.00 Big League Weekend 4.30 Motor Racing 6.00 Powerboating 6.30 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 7.30 Sports Unlimited 8.30 Powerboating 9.00 Powder Adventures 9.30 Powerboating 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Champions Hockey League 12.00am Powerboating 12.30 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 1.30 Airsports World 2.00 Close
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3.00pm Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle 4.30 Futurama 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-YearOld? 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 A Town Called Eureka 9.00 Battlestar Galactica 10.00 Road Wars 11.00 Ross Kemp: Return To Afghanistan 12.00am Lost 1.00 Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Freaky Eaters. See highlights. 9.00 Naked: Nurses 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Grownups 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Naked: Nurses 12.45am Freaky Eaters 1.40 Grownups 2.10 Snog Marry Avoid? 2.40 The Undercover Princes 3.40 Being Human
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Coal House At War 8.00 Sunday Schools: Reading, Writing And Redemption 9.00 The High Life 9.30 Early Doors 10.00 Mad Men 10.50 Party Animals 11.40 We Need Answers 12.10am New Town 1.10 Ian Rankin’s Hidden Edinburgh 2.10 Sunday Schools
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 The Saturdays: The Hot Desk 8.00 Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend 9.00 Coleen’s Real Women 10.00 FILM: The Silence Of The Lambs (1991) 12.20am Entourage
11.00am Inspector Morse 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.15 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.20 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.20 Home To Roost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 10.00 Ladies Of Letters 10.30 The Brief 12.05am Wycliffe 1.05 Inspector Morse
12.40pm Scrubs (x2) 1.40 Smallville 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 10.00 Reaper 11.00 Shameless 12.10am Skins 1.10 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 My Name Is Earl
2.00pm Hill Street Blues 3.00 A Place By The Sea 4.05 How Clean Is Your House?(x2) 5.05 The Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 6.55 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 Vertical City 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 True Stories: Here’s Johnny 11.00 Working With Pinter 12.25am Celebration
12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 8.00 America’s Next Top Model 9.00 New Most Haunted 10.00 Ghost Whisperer 11.00 CSI 12.00am Home Video Heroes (x2) 1.00 Charmed
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5.40pm Ever Decreasing Circles 6.20 Keeping Up Appearances 7.00 After You’ve Gone 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Blackadder The Third 10.15 The Royle Family 11.10 The Thin Blue Line 11.50 Blackadder The Third 12.25am The Royle Family 1.25 The Thin Blue Line
2.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (X2) 7.00 Scrubs (X2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (X2) 9.00 South Park 9.30 Scrubs 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x2) 12.10am South Park 12.40 Scrubs
2.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Storm Chasers 10.00 Alaska’s Great Race 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting
12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: Nature Unleashed: Fire (2004) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 The Invisible Man 7.00 Angel 8.00 Final Days Of Planet Earth 9.40 FILM: Lightspeed (2006) 11.20 FILM: Emmanuelle In Space: The Meaning Of Love (1994) 1.10am Ghost Stories (x2)
2.00pm Lucky Jordan (1942) 3.25 Robinson Crusoe On Mars (1964) 5.25 The Desperate Hours (1955) 7.20 Steptoe And Son (1972) 9.00 Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 10.40 Anne Of The Thousand Days (1969) 1.10am I’ll Never Forget What’s ‘is Name (1969)
12.45pm The Proposition (1998) 2.45 Ten Canoes (2006) 4.25 The Movie Geek 4.55 Whatever Happened To Harold Smith? (1999) 6.40 For Your Consideration (2006) 8.15 Tumbleweeds (1999) 10.00 Year Of The Dog (2007) 11.40 The Proposition (1998) 1.35am Repo Man (1984)
1.00pm Trouble In The Glen (1954) 2.45 Hanover Street (1979) 4.55 Contraband (1940) 6.45 The Land Girls (1998) 9.00 And When Did You Last See Your Father? (2007) 10.45 Nil By Mouth (1997) Harrowing domestic violence film marking Gary Oldman’s directorial debut. 1.15am The Long Day Closes (1992)
11.00am The Great Waldo Pepper (1975) 1.00pm This Woman Is Dangerous (1952) 3.00 Stop The World: I Want To Get Off! (1966) 4.55 Five Days One Summer (1983) 7.00 Mrs Soffel (1984) 9.00 Wait Until Dark (1967) 11.05 The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981) 1.25am Wait Until Dark (1967)
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wednesday 18 The Brit Awards 2009 ITV1, 8pm Massive party, huge kudos for the winners, huge hangovers for the losers, and the occasional mooning of an international pop star. The Brits has a lot to live up to if past events are anything to go by. Whether it’s Robbie Williams challenging Liam G to fisticuffs or Sam Fox’s disastrous autocue. Fun, fun, fun.
Trouble In Amish Paradise BBC2, 9pm An insight into the secretive world of the Amish – who don’t usually like anything to do with modern technology or being filmed. Maybe that’s why two radical Amish men in this programme – Ephraim and Jesse – are getting into serious strife with the community as they start to ask more and more questions.
Vertical City More 4, 8.30pm Architecture expert Charlie Luxton examines iconic skyscrapers, kicking off with 7 World Trade Center – the first building to be constructed on New York’s ground zero. Designed to take high rise safety to a new level, will it really reassure the people who work in it, overlooking the old debris?
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Thumb Wrestling Federation 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 Gastronuts 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 MySay 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Da Dick And Dom Dairies 8.30 Trapped 8.55 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 9.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 9.30 Dani’s House 10.00 Stake Out 10.30 Gimme A Break 11.00 Coast 11.15 Murder Most Famous 12.00pm Working Lunch 1.00 See Hear 1.30 Lifeline 1.40 Animal Park 2.05 The World At War 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 ER 10.20 ER 11.15 Back To You 11.45 Proud Parents 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Foreign Correspondents 12.35 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.35 FILM: Gunman’s Walk (1958) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Ann Maurice: Interior Rivalry 12.30pm Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.10 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Derby (2007) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out Local magazine programme. Are windfarms really the solution to our energy problems? And the surprising connection between Newhaven and the Spanish Civil War. 8.00 Waterloo Road Drama series set in a secondary school. Rachel is shocked when Eddie and Melissa’s relationship takes an unexpected leap forward, but Philip appears to be holding a secret that could jeopardise all of their futures. 9.00 Nature’s Great Events Nature documentary series. Every year, the survival of grizzly bears in North America depends on a spectacular natural event: the return of hundreds of millions of salmon from the Pacific Ocean to the mountain streams where they were born. Watch in awe. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Hope over experience. 10.45 Movie Connections Documentary about the making of hit British movie Local Hero. 11.25 FILM: Arthur’s Dyke (2001) Starring Robert Daws, Pauline Quirke, Warren Clarke. Comedy drama. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Explore: Rift Valley 2.15 Explore: Rift Valley 2.45 Natural World 3.35 BBC News
6.00 Battle Of The Brains Quiz show hosted by Nicky Campbell. 6.30 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the show where every day a new team of challengers take on probably the greatest quiz team in Britain. Probably. 7.00 Escape To The Country Alistair Appleton is in sunny Norfolk helping a couple to find an amazing country pad. They have four horses and they want a place with enough land to accommodate them. Plus they have a teenage daughter who would like her own annex. Not asking for much then. 8.00 It’s Not Easy Being Green Dick and his team get their rags oily building a ram pump. 8.30 MasterChef The semi-finalists’ fine-dining skills are put to the test. 9.00 Trouble In Amish Paradise See highlights. 10.00 QI Panel-based quiz. Stephen Fry is joined by Clive Anderson, Rich Hall, Reginald D Hunter and Alan Davies. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Mad Men Drama series which takes an unflinching look at the world of advertising in 1960s New York. After an American Airlines air crash, Duck wants to go after their account, but he comes into conflict with Don. Peter hears some shocking news. 12.10am BBC News 4.00 Talk Spanish (x6) 5.30 Eurografters: Spain
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Marlon convinces Eli to come home. Those feuding Dingles. Who needs the rest of the village with this much happening to one family? 7.30 Coronation Street Len steps up his intimidation of the Platts. This might make David angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry. He’s all wiley and scheming. 8.00 The Brit Awards 2009 This year’s BRIT Awards are presented by Kylie Minogue, James Corden and Mathew Horne. Among those taking part in this year’s show are U2, Coldplay, Girls Aloud, Take That, Kings of Leon and Duffy. The Pet Shop Boys, this year’s Outstanding Contribution to Music winners, close the show in spectacular fashion. See highlights. 10.00 News At Ten And Weather 10.35 FILM: American Pie 2 (2001) Starring Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein and Natasha Lyonne. Teen comedy sequel in which a group of friends are reunited after their freshman year of college and embark upon a series of comical adventures. 12.30am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.25 Loose Women 2.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.05 What’s In Your Mouth? Tonight 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Darren tells Newt he is terrified of living alone after being locked in a cell. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Relocation, Relocation Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer help people find the right property for them. Hertfordshire couple Helen and Paul are in search of a property for their wedding venue business. With bells on – boom! Boom! 9.00 Grand Designs Property series following householders as they build their own homes. Architect Richard and his wife Sophie attempt to build a sustainable house with a fruit and veg garden in the Kent countryside. Wouldn’t an allotment do? 10.00 The World’s Strongest Child And Me Mark Dolan travels the world meeting super-strong children, from young weightlifters in America to a family of circus performing girls in Ukraine. Don’t pick a fight, Mark. 11.05 Shameless Repeat. 12.10am 4 Music: 4Music Video Exclusive: TI Featuring Justin Timberlake 12.15 Spectacle: Elvis Costello With... Kris Kristofferson 1.15 Lovebox With Boost Juice Bars (x2) 2.05 Rockfeedback 2.35 Soft 2.50 Strange Little Girls 3.10 Christianity: A History 4.10 Time Team 5.00 Countdown 5.45 Making It 5.50 The Hoobs
6.00 Home And Away Charlie strives to find out the truth about who really killed Jack. Are there lots of people p[retending to have killed him, then? 6.30 UEFA Cup Football Live UEFA Cup football action as Aston Villa take on CSKA Moscow at Villa Park. Brazilian coach Zico takes charge of CSKA for the first time in this Round of 32 clash. Vagner Love, this season’s leading goal scorer in the UEFA Cup, lines up for the Russians. Colin Murray presents while former Villa manager Graham Taylor joins Dave Woods in the commentary box. Kick-off is at 19.00. 9.00 Minder Comedy drama. Archie smells the chance to make a fortune after stumbling upon a ‘Banksy’ painting in the home of an unsuspecting housewife. But his efforts to woo the art world come unstuck when he learns the mural is a fake. Wouldn’t stop old style Daley! 10.00 FILM: Sleeping With The Enemy (1991) Starring Julia Roberts, Patrick Bergin, Kevin Anderson, Elizabeth Lawrence. Thriller in which a woman fakes her own death and changes her identity to escape abuse at the hands of her husband. Was never gonna be that easy though. 12.00am PartyPoker.com Poker Den: Big Game III 1.30 UEFA Cup On Five3.40 NHL Ice Hockey 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football Asia 9.30 Hyundai A League 10.00 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 11.30 Revista De La Liga 12.30pm Football Asia 1.00 Hyundai A League 1.30 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 3.00 Revista De La Liga 4.00 Hyundai A League 4.30 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 LIVE Scottish Cup Football 10.15 Ford Football Special 11.45 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.15am Scottish Cup Football 1.45 Ford Football Special 3.15 European Tour Weekly 3.45 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 4.45 Sky Sports Classics 5.00 Total Rugby 5.30 Live European Tour Golf
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 Powder Adventures 9.30 Airsports World 10.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 11.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 12.00pm Squash 1.00 Squash 2.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 3.00 Squash 4.00 Squash 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.30 Total Rugby 7.00 Trans World Sport 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 European Tour Weekly 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am European Tour Weekly 12.30 Total Rugby 1.00 Boots ‘n’ All 2.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 7.30am Powerboating 8.00 Squash 9.00 Squash 10.00 Champions Hockey League 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Champions Hockey League 2.00 NFL 3.00 Pool 4.00 Sports Unlimited 5.00 Poker 6.00 Stock Car Racing 6.30 Licence To Le Mans 7.00 Watersports World 8.00 Tenpin Bowling 9.00 Stock Car Racing 9.30 Licence To Le Mans 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Champions Hockey League 12.00am Squash 2.00 Stock Car Racing 2.30 Close Victoria Nangle
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12.00pm Don’t Forget The Lyrics (x2) 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle 4.30 Futurama 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Project Runway 9.00 FILM: An Officer And A Gentleman (1982) 11.20 UK Border Force 12.20am Road Wars
7.00pm Freaky Eaters 8.00 FILM: Stargate (1994) 9.55 Little Britain USA 10.25 Family Guy (x2) 11.10 Paparazzi: Next Generation 12.10am Freaky Eaters 1.10 Naked: Nurses 2.05 The Undercover Princes 3.05 Paparazzi: Next Generation 4.05 Naked: Nurses 5.30 Close
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Book Quiz 8.00 Secret Life Of The Motorway 9.00 The Joy Of Motoring 10.00 FILM: Tsotsi (2005) 11.30 From A To B: Tales Of Modern Motoring 12.20am The Joy Of Motoring 1.20 The Lost Libraries Of Timbuktu 2.20 The Book Quiz 2.50 The Joy Of Motoring 5.30 Close
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show(x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 The BRITs 2009 Red Carpet 7.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 8.00 FILM: Dante’s Peak (1997) 10.00 The BRITs 2009 Encore 11.00 Coronation Street 11.30 FILM: Bowfinger (1999)
11.00am Inspector Morse 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.15 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.20 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.20 Home To Roost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Ladies Of Letters 9.30 Rising Damp 10.00 Kingdom 11.05 Rose And Maloney 12.10am Numb3rs
12.45pm Scrubs (x2) 1.40 Smallville 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Without A Paddle (2004) 11.00 90210 11.55 Scrubs (x2) 12.55am My Name Is Earl 1.20 90210 2.10 Roswell (x2)
5.05pm The Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 6.55 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 Vertical City. See highlights. 9.00 Dispatches 10.00 Father Ted 10.35 The IT Crowd 11.05 TV Heaven, Telly Hell 11.35 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 12.35am Dispatches 1.35 Father Ted
11.00am The Jerry Springer Show (x2) 12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (X2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy 9.00 Rehab 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI 12.00am Home Video Heroes (x2)
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5.40pm Ever Decreasing Circles 6.20 Keeping Up Appearances 7.00 My Family 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Blackadder The Third 10.20 The Royle Family 11.00 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.40 The Worst Week Of My Life 12.20am Blackadder The Third
1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs 7.30 Scrubs 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs 11.40 Scrubs (x3) 1.10am Frasier (x2)
1.00pm Forensic Detectives 2.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Storm Chasers 9.00 Solved 10.00 Murder Shift 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)
12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 Final Days Of Planet Earth 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 The Invisible Man 7.00 Angel 8.00 FILM: Sands Of Oblivion (2007) 9.50 FILM: Odysseus And The Isle Of Mists (2007) 11.40 FILM: Submerged (2005) 1.30am Ghost Stories 2.00 Flash Gordon
2.20pm White Savage (1943) 3.50 Abbott And Costello Meet The Killer, Boris Karloff (1949) 5.15 A Foreign Affair (1948) 7.15 Demetrius And The Gladiators (1954) 9.00 Paint Your Wagon (1969) 11.40 Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here (1969) 1.25am White Savage (1943)
9.00am Sicko (2007) 11.10 The General (1998) 1.20pm Rescue Dawn (2006) 3.30 Oscar Season Special 3.45 Schultze Gets The Blues (2003) 5.45 Sicko (2007) 7.50 Rescue Dawn (2006) 10.00 Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas (1998) 12.00am Summer Of Sam (1999) 2.25 Water (2005)
1.00pm The Moonraker (1958) 2.40 Brief Encounter (1945) 4.20 One Of Our Aircraft Is Missing (1942) 6.25 Oliver Twist (2005) 9.00 A Life Less Ordinary (1997) Danny Boyle’s violent comedy involving angels with uzis and Ewan McGregor as the sweetest kidnapper. 11.00 Comrades (1986)
8.55am The Great Waldo Pepper (1975) 10.55 The Bramble Bush (1960) 1.00pm Elvis: That’s The Way It Is () 3.00 The Barkleys Of Broadway (1949) 5.05 The Helicopter Spies (1968) 7.00 Skyjacked (1972) 9.00 Arthur (1981) 10.50 Looker (1981) 12.40am Arthur (1981) 2.20 Looker (1981)
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thursday 19 Miracle Of The Hudson Plane Crash Channel 4, 10pm Last month a plane was forced to make an emergency landing on the Hudson River after a flock of geese flew into its engines. By some miracle everyone survived. Here they tell the story, along with eye witnesses and techno reconstructions. Watch out for the probable Wesley Snipes flick.
Explore: Sex And Religion In Manila BBC2, 11.20pm Manila is one of the fastest growing cities on the planet and as such has a massive Catholic population whose church don’t want any of that difficult contraception education. It interferes with family values, don’t you know. Sayi Rhodes takes a closer look at the issues.
ER More 4, 9pm It’s the final series but that doesn’t stop the usual pace of overwork and under-qualified continuing in Chicago’s General Hospital. Banfield finds going for a run turns into trying to rescue a young girl from drowning, and Gates tries to pull some strings to help out a homeless war veteran. It’s a miserable world in Chicago.
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Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Thumb Wrestling Federation 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 Prank Patrol 4.35 Little Howard’s Big Question 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Dawn’s world is shaken by an ultimatum from a surprising source, while some racy secrets are revealed at the book club. Meanwhile, superdad Ricky tries to control Bianca’s kids. Chortle, chortle. 8.00 Rogue Traders Matt Allwright and Dan Penteado are hunting and confronting more rogues. They investigate pet shops and dog breeders who sell sick puppies. Cue the cooing and ahs. 8.30 The Green Green Grass Rural sitcom. 9.00 New Tricks Drama. The discovery of an armoured security van involved in the disappearance of one person and the unsolved murder of another provides the impetus for the team to look into the case again. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby is in Peckham. 11.35 FILM: True Identity (1991) Starring Lenny Henry. Comic tale about a black actor who takes on his biggest acting challenge when he has to hide from a mob boss. 1.05am Skiing Weatherview 1.10 Sign Zone: Panorama 1.40 Watchdog 2.10 It’s Not Easy Being Green 2.40 Wild About Your Garden 3.25 Countryfile 4.20 BBC News
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Da Dick And Dom Dairies 8.30 Trapped 8.55 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 9.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 9.30 Dani’s House 10.00 Stake Out 10.30 Gimme A Break 11.00 Dangermouse 11.20 The Flintstones 11.45 Murder Most Famous 12.30pm Working Lunch 1.00 Meerkat Manor 1.20 Animal 24:7 2.05 The World At War 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 ER 10.20 ER 11.15 Back To You 11.45 Small Railway Journeys 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Proud Parents 12.45 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.45 FILM: Arizona Raiders (1965) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 House Doctor 12.00pm House Doctor 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.10 FILM: Jesse Stone: Night Passage (2006) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
9.30am FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Scottish Cup Football 1.00pm Ford Football Special 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Live Dubai International Racing Carnival 7.00 LIVE Darts: Premier League 10.30 Time Of Our Lives 11.30 Barclays Premier League World 12.00am The Rugby Club 1.30 Time Of Our Lives 2.30 Barclays Premier League World 3.00 The Rugby Club 4.30 Time Of Our Lives 5.30 Live European Tour Golf
6.00 Battle Of The Brains Quiz show hosted by Nicky Campbell. 6.30 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts more quizzing action. 7.00 Oz And James Drink To Britain The pair are in Burton-onTrent, and Oz sets to work making his own beer, which is based on an old Elizabethan recipe. 7.30 Media Revolution The final episode of Media Revolution looks at the UK TV industry. Max Flint charts the extraordinary rise of Britain’s global tele-industry. 8.00 MasterChef The four semifinalists are sent to four different restaurants to fine-tune their skills. 9.00 Natural World Wildlife documentary. Six feet tall, 13 stone, and armed with five inch claws, cassowaries are birds that deserve respect. Like a Doctor Who baddie with feathers. 9.50 Stately Stoats Wildlife documentary. 10.00 What The Victorians Did For Us Adam Hart-Davis recreates a Victorian seance, and examines devices designed for waking the dead. Victorians, eh? 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Explore: Sex And Religion In Manila See highlights. 11.50 Iran And The West Second episode in the documentary series. 12.50am BBC News 4.00 Talk French (x6). 5.30 Eurografters: France
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Daz worries about Andy’s premature spending of their inheritance. ‘Cos Andy’s always been so level-headed – when he’s not hitting the rest of his family. 7.30 The Krypton Factor Ben Shephard hosts the quiz that seemed easier when you remembered it way back when. 8.00 The Bill A smitten Nate is delighted when nurse Maria Joseph visits him at work to return the handcuffs he left at her place the night before. But he is furious with her when he finds out that she tended to young Aisha Katri’s wounds and let the girl leave without reporting the incident. Calm down. 9.00 Billy Connolly: Journey To The Edge Of The World Billy Connolly goes on an entertaining journey through some of the more remote regions of Canada, travelling from the Atlantic to the Pacific via the fabled North West Passage. 10.00 News At Ten And Weather 10.35 Dexter The police department are thrown into chaos when a written manifesto from the Bay Harbour Butcher arrives at the station. 11.45 FILM: Narrow Margin (1990) Starring Gene Hackman. Taut thriller. 1.25am Crossing Jordan 2.15 Loose Women 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks When Newt tells Cindy about Darren’s panic attack, Cindy decides to take Darren’s mind off things. Why doesn’t that sound re-assuring? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 10 Years Younger: The Challenge Makeover show presented by Myleene Klass. Susan, a white-haired woman in her early fifties is fed-up of being offered an OAP bus pass, and Helen, a 29-yearold mum-of-three with skin problems, is shown non-surgical ways to combat premature ageing. Bless. 9.00 Britain’s Conjoined Twins: Hope And Faith The story of Laura Williams, the youngest mother in the world to give bith to conjoined twins. Laura and her husband Aled made medical history with the birth of their twin daughters, Hope and Faith, who were joined from shoulder to waist. This film follows the girls’ fight for life amidst an op to separate them. 10.00 Miracle Of The Hudson Plane Crash See highlights. 11.10 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon Ramsay’s series repeat. 12.10am The Convention Crasher 1.10 Dave Berry’s 20 Biggest Stars Of 2008 2.40 Dispatches 3.30 Christianity: A History 4.30 Time Team 5.25 Countdown
6.00 Home And Away Miles gets parenting advice from Rachel. When did she know so much? 6.30 UEFA Cup Football Live UEFA Cup action as Tottenham travel to play Shakhtar Donetsk of the Ukraine. The Round of 32 match takes place at the 25,000-capacity RSK Olimpiyskyi Stadium. Presented by Colin Murray with commentary from Tony Jones and former Everton and Wales defender Kevin Ratcliffe. Kick-off is at 18.45. 9.00 Ice Road Truckers Documentary series examining the dangerous job of driving trucks on Canada’s notorious ice highways. The truckers have to be on guard as a polar bear stalks the ice. Flasher’s mac, cap pulled down – the stalker works. An injuction will be winging its way to Mr P Bear any day now. 10.00 CCTV Cities Series revealing real-life footage of urban crime, presented by Donal MacIntyre. If you can think of a cheaper way to make telly answers on a postcard. 11.05 Police Interceptors Documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex. The officers take drastic action when a pursuit from London ends up on their patch. 12.05am Quiz Call 4.00 NBA Basketball 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Stock Car Racing 9.30 Licence To Le Mans 10.00 Tenpin Bowling 11.00 Sailing 11.30 Trans World Sport 12.30pm Licence To Le Mans 1.00 Euro Tour Golf 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 The Rugby Club 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 Golf Night 9.30 Barclays Premier League World 10.00 LIVE Sky Poker Five-OO 12.00am NFL: Total Access 1.00 Barclays Premier League World 1.30 Netball: Super League 3.30 Poker 5.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 Tenpin Bowling 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Trans World Sport 10.00 Champions Hockey League 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Champions Hockey League 2.00 NFL: Total Access 3.00 Motor Racing: Oval Racing 3.30 Licence To Le Mans 4.00 Tenpin Bowling 5.00 NFL:
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Living
12.00pm Don’t Forget The Lyrics (x2) 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle 4.30 Futurama 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Hello Goodbye 9.00 Bones 10.00 Husbands Who Kill 11.30 Cold Case 12.30am Bones 1.30 Road Wars
7.00pm LIVE: Match Of The Day: UEFA Cup 9.00 Baby Borrowers US 9.45 Outtakes: US Presidents 9.50 This Way Up 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Vodka, Homework And Me 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Baby Borrowers US 12.55 Naked: Nurses 1.55 Snog Marry Avoid? 2.25 Freaky Eaters
7.00pm World News Today 7.40 The New Avengers 8.30 Britain’s Best Drives 9.00 Penelope Keith And The Fast Lady 10.00 Michael Smith’s Drivetime 10.30 We Need Answers 11.00 Penelope Keith And The Fast Lady 12.00am The Joy Of Motoring 1.00 Michael Smith’s Drivetime 1.30 We Need Answers
12.00pm Coronation Street 12.30 Emmerdale 1.00 Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 The Brit Awards 2009 8.00 American Idol 9.00 Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend 10.00 American Idol 11.00 Supernatural 12.00am Entourage (x2)
11.00am Inspector Morse 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.15 Monarch Of The Glen 4.20 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.20 Home To Roost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Flashpoint 11.00 FILM: Agatha (1979) 1.00am Inspector Morse
12.45pm Scrubs (x2) 1.40 Smallville 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 My Name Is Earl 9.30 The Big Bang Theory 10.00 Skins 11.05 The Inbetweeners 11.35 Peep Show 12.05am Scrubs (x2)
1.10pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 Hill Street Blues 3.00 A Place By The Sea 4.05 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 6.55 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 Vertical City 9.00 ER. See highlights. 10.00 Brothers & Sisters 11.00 Without A Trace 12.00am ER 1.00 Brothers & Sisters
12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 8.00 Rehab 9.00 Jade’s Progress 10.00 Grey’s Anatomy 11.00 CSI 12.00am Home Video Heroes (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Extreme Makeover UK
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
5.40pm Ever Decreasing Circles 6.20 Keeping Up Appearances 7.00 My Family 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Blackadder The Third 10.20 The Royle Family 10.55 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.35 The Worst Week Of My Life 12.15am Blackadder The Third
2.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x3) 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x2) 12.10am Two And A Half Men 12.40 Frasier (x2)
2.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Raging Nature 9.00 Solved 10.00 Crime Scene Forensics 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting
2.00pm Angel 3.00 FILM: Terminal Error (2001) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 The Invisible Man 7.00 Angel 8.00 FILM: The Sword Of Xanten (2004) 9.00 Sanctuary 10.00 FILM: Submerged (2005) 11.50 FILM: Emmanuelle’s Private Collection: Emmanuelle Vs Dracula (2004) 2.00am Flash Gordon
11.40am Duel In The Sun (1946) 1.50pm Charade (1963) 3.50 The Nutty Professor (1963) 5.40 The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938) 7.25 Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969) 9.00 Shane (1953) 11.00 Charade (1963) 12.55am Duel In The Sun (1946) 3.10 The Pawnbroker (1965)
11.35am Tell No One (2006) 1.50pm European Film Awards 2008 3.35 Neil Young: Heart Of Gold 5.25 The Movie Geek 5.55 Gloria (1980) 8.00 Breaking And Entering (2006) 10.00 The Page Turner (2006) 11.30 Bringing Out The Dead (1999) 1.30am Requiem For A Dream (2000)
1.00pm Blithe Spirit (1945) 2.50 Doctor In Distress (1963) 4.55 Battle Of The River Plate (1956) 7.10 The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Mountain (1995) 9.00 Venus (2006) 10.55 The Acid House (1997) 1.05am Brassed Off (1996) Ewan McGregor blows his horn in this Northern tale.
8.05am Mutiny On The Bounty (1962) 11.15 A Lion Is In The Streets (1953) 12.50pm A Little Romance (1979) 3.00 Swing Shift (1984) 4.55 Soylent Green (1973) 6.45 Trouble Along The Way (1953) 9.00 Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (1974) 11.10 Being Human (1994) 1.25am Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (1974)
Classics
Indie
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friday 20 Break In And Make My Day! Channel 4, 7.35pm They say that an Englishman’s home is his castle, but that doesn’t mean that intruders often expect vats of boiling oil set to halt their advances. Jamie Balmat looks at some of the extreme measures homeowners have gone to to feel secure. Catapults of chicken manure, CCTV cameras, the lot.
Pushing Daisies ITV1, 10pm ‘Quirky’ is so in vogue, and nothing says that more than this show about a man who can bring the dead back to life investigating how they died in the first place. This week Emerson and his ma are both hired to look into the same murder, that of a ‘frescort’ – a friend escort – who was less than friendly. Blimey!
Being Human BBC3, 9pm The werewolf, vampire and ghost houseshare is feeling the strain this week, as their dreams of ‘fitting in’ go somewhat astray. Mitchell makes friends with neighbourhood boy Bernie and before you can shout ‘witch-hunt’ a misunderstanding has led to their cosy home being under attack. How to get out of this one?
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Thumb Wrestling Federation 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 Outback 8 4.35 The Legend Of Dick And Dom 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Da Dick And Dom Dairies 8.30 Trapped 8.55 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 9.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 9.30 Dani’s House 10.00 Stake Out 10.30 Gimme A Break 11.00 Dangermouse 11.20 The Flintstones 11.45 Murder Most Famous 12.30pm Working Lunch 1.00 Meerkat Manor 1.20 Animal 24:7 2.05 The World At War 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Battle Of The Brains Quiz show hosted by Nicky Campbell. 6.30 Eggheads More quizzin’. 7.00 Once A Soldier Documentary series about the Chelsea Pensioners, former British soldiers who live in the Royal Hospital in Chelsea. 7.30 Mastermind Topics are The History of Chester Zoo, The Father Brown Stories, Edward Carson and Tony Hancock. 8.00 Natural World Film maker Rebecca Hosking investigates how to transform her family’s farm in Devon into a low-energy farm for the future. 8.50 Coast Nicholas Crane travels along the south coast of Britain. 9.00 Around The World In 80 Faiths Peter Owen Jones embarks on a journey across his home continent, Europe. He finds a series of unexpected and surprising rituals and sects – huge underground New Age temples in Italy, shamans in Norway, and Europe’s only Buddhist republic. 10.00 Rab C Nesbitt Comedy. As Rab queues for his vasectomy, son Gash’s live-in girlfriend Bridie is about to give birth to the first Nesbitt grandchild. Heavens! 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review Roundtable arts and culture discussion. 11.35 The Culture Show Extended version of this week’s show. 12.20am Medium (x2) 1.45 Nero Wolfe Mysteries
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.50 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.20 Frasier 8.50 Will And Grace 9.20 ER 10.20 FILM: Cleopatra (1963) 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 FILM: Cleopatra (1963) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00 - 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Lodgers 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Big School 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 House Doctor 12.00pm House Doctor 12.30 Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.10 FILM: Taming Andrew (2000) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The reading of Jack’s will causes tension among the Sugdens. Where there’s a will there’s a punch-up. 7.30 Coronation Street A new arrival at the factory has some shocking news for Tony. 8.00 Your Home For A Pound? Tonight Is it a good time to buy a house – or not? Jonathan Maitland uncovers some of the success stories and some of the disappointments in the UK property market. 8.30 Coronation Street Is Tony losing the one thing he has left? His hair? 9.00 Taggart When a promising young student is abducted, her mother’s psychic advisor approaches the team, claiming to be able to trace the girl’s whereabouts. Burke is his usual sceptical self, but when he finds that all leads seem to be going nowhere, he grudgingly agrees to attend one of the psychic’s shows. 10.00 Pushing Daisies See highlights. 11.00 The Late News; Weather 11.35 The BRITs Backstage Go backstage with Alesha Dixon at the BRIT Awards 2009! 12.05am FILM: How High (2001) 1.45 FILM: Testimony Of Taliesin Jones (2000) 3.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks At the SU Bar’s Speed Hating night, Justin only has eyes for Hannah. Speak up, son! 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.35 Break In And Make My Day! See highlights. 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? Peter and Meredith Moss decide between buying a new home in London and a property in Texas. 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon visits Sabatiello’s, an Italian restaurant in Connecticut which is known more for the tantrums of combustible owner than the quality of its food. With the restaurant over a million dollars in debt, Gordo kicks some backside. 10.00 Free Agents Comedy series. With Valentine’s Day approaching, Helen posts Alex’s details on a dating website. 10.30 Ricky Gervais: Fame Ricky Gervais’ sell-out stand-up show. 11.35 TV Heaven, Telly Hell Alan Carr is Sean Lock’s guest. 12.10am 4 Music: The Shockwaves Album Chart Show 12.40 4 Music: Tony Christie: Going Home 1.10 JD Set Presents: Fox Cubs 1.25 4Play: Eugene McGuinness 1.35 Betfair World Series Of Poker 2.30 Trans World Sport 3.20 Hill Street Blues 4.05 Christianity: A History 5.05 Countdown 5.50 Making It 5.55 The Hoobs
6.00 Home And Away Miles and Charlie are hot on Melody’s heels. Scalding, mates! 6.30 Wild Animal ER Some orphaned ducks are given their first swimming lesson. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Rough Guide To Classic Road Trips Julia Bradbury hits US Route 1 bound for Florida’s Key West; and Toby Amies enjoys driving around Bavaria in a Porsche. 8.00 Police Interceptors This instalment sees the interceptors chase a truck driver across three counties and a young joyrider on a mission to have some fun. 9.00 NCIS US drama series. Gibbs puts his life in grave danger when he becomes entangled in a kidnapping case involving a face from his past. 10.00 Numb3rs Detective drama series about a maths genius recruited by the FBI. The agents investigate the death of a surfer. While examining the victim’s past, they learn that he had made enemies in his day job as a park ranger. Bears done it. 11.00 Criminal Minds Drama series following the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit. The unit is called in when the daughter of a district attorney is kidnapped. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 Tim Marlow On... Kandinsky 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
9.30am Barclays Premier League World 10.00 Hyundai A League 10.30 The Rugby Club 12.00pm Hyundai A League 12.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.00 Barclays Premier League World 1.30 The Rugby Club 3.00 LIVE Dubai International Racing Carnival 7.00 Off The Bar 7.30 Big League Weekend 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 LIVE Boxing: Prizefighter 12.00am Big League Weekend 1.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 1.30 Off The Bar 2.00 Boxing: Prizefighter 5.00 Off The Bar 5.30 Barclays Premier League Preview
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker is in the chair once more for the light-hearted sports quiz. 8.00 EastEnders Ricky and Bianca deal with the life-changing results of Tiffany’s paternity test, which is not the only news to rock their family. 8.30 Traffic Cops Documentary. 9.00 QI Stephen Fry forges forward into the future with Sean Lock, Rob Brydon, Ben Miller and Alan Davies. 9.30 Not Going Out Sitcom. Tim and Lee try to organise a party for Lucy’s 30th birthday. Tim likes a few games of charades, while Lee likes a do where there are no competitors for Lucy’s attention. Not so fast, dude. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Celebrity chat show hosted by Jonathan Ross. Guests include Oscarnominated actor, Mickey Rourke and the original Pop Idol, Will Young. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw Lottery stuff. 11.40 FILM: Bringing Down The House (2002) Starring Steve Martin, Queen Latifah. Culture-clash comedy. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: Horizon: Why Do We Dream? 2.25 Iran And The West 3.25 Commercial Breakdown With Jimmy Carr 4.05 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Darts: Premier League 12.30pm Powder Adventures 1.00 Euro Tour Golf 5.00 Live Super 14 Rugby 7.00 Volvo Ocean Race 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 Big League Weekend 11.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.30 Off The Bar 12.00am NFL: Total Access 1.00 Super League 3.00 Volvo Ocean Race 3.30 Gillette World Sport 4.00 Super League
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Netball: Super League 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Wild Spirits 1.30 Darts: Premier League 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 The Golf Club 3.00 Powder Adventures 3.30 Super 14 Rugby 5.30 Volvo Ocean Race
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Living
2.00pm Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle 4.30 Futurama 5.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Night Cops 11.00 Ross Kemp: Return To Afghanistan 12.00am FILM: An Officer And A Gentleman (1982)
7.00pm Top Gear 8.05 The Real Hustle Las Vegas 8.15 Doctor Who 9.00 Being Human. See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Grownups 11.00 Snog Marry Avoid? 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.20am Little Britain USA 12.45 Being Human 1.45 Grownups 2.15 Snog Marry Avoid? 2.45 Naked: Nurses
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Transatlantic Sessions 8.00 Motown At The BBC 9.00 Legends: The Motown Invasion 10.00 Standing In The Shadows Of Motown: Storyville 11.45 Mad Men 12.35am The New Avengers 1.25 Legends: The Motown Invasion 2.25 Motown At The BBC 3.25 Transatlantic Sessions
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Seann William Scott: The Hot Desk 8.00 Coleen’s Real Women 9.00 American Idol 10.00 Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend 11.00 Coronation Street (x2) 12.00am FILM: Thirteen (2003)
11.00am Inspector Morse 1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Pie In The Sky 3.15 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.20 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.20 Home To Roost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Flashpoint 10.00 FILM: Agatha (1979) 12.00am Liverpool One 1.10 Inspector Morse
12.40pm Scrubs (x2) 1.40 Smallville 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.05 FILM: Ghosts Of Mars (2001) 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 1.00 My Name Is Earl 1.30 Supernanny
1.10pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 Hill Street Blues 3.00 A Place By The Sea 4.05 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 6.55 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 Vertical City 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 FILM: 15 Minutes (2001) 12.20am Grand Designs 1.25 The Secret Millionaire
12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 8.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 9.00 CSI 10.00 Boston Legal 11.00 CSI 12.00am Home Video Heroes (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Nothing To Declare
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
5.40pm Ever Decreasing Circles 6.20 Keeping Up Appearances 7.00 My Family 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Blackadder Goes Forth 10.20 The Royle Family 10.55 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.35 The Worst Week Of My Life 12.15am Blackadder Goes Forth
1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x2) 12.10am Celebrity Death Match
1.00pm Forensic Detectives 2.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Treasure Quest 10.00 Storm Chasers 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)
11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: Odysseus And The Isle Of Mists (2007) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 The Invisible Man 7.00 Angel 8.00 Sea Of Souls 9.15 Sea Of Souls 10.30 FILM: The Dead Will Tell (2004) 12.20am Eli Stone 1.20 3rd Rock From The Sun
9.35am Custer Of The West (1968) 12.00pm Oscar Nominations Special 12.30 Rear Window (1954) 2.30 The Phantom Of The Opera (1943) 4.10 The Egyptian (1954) 6.35 Custer Of The West (1968) 9.00 Rear Window (1954) 11.00 Psycho (1960) 12.50am Coogan’s Bluff (1968)
9.00am The Singer (2006) 11.00 Mo’ Better Blues (1990) 1.15pm Oscars Special 1.30 Days Of Glory (2005) 3.35 The Proposition (1998) 5.35 Hollywoodland (2006) 7.45 Mo’ Better Blues (1990) 10.00 Magnolia (1999) 1.20am Body Shots (1999) 3.15 Love Me If You Dare (2003)
1.00pm Kipps (1942) 3.10 Porridge (1979) 5.00 Thunderbird Six (1968) 6.45 The Pink Panther (1963) Original and still the best, starring Peter Sellars as the bumbling detective investigating the theft of the Pink Panther diamond. 9.00 Brick Lane (2007) 11.00 Hide (2008) 12.45am Creep (2004)
7.50am A Lion Is In The Streets (1953) 9.25 Giant (1956) 1.00pm None But The Brave (1965) 3.00 Judgment At Nuremberg (1961) 6.40 The Frisco Kid (1979) 9.00 The Candidate (1972) 11.05 Children Of A Lesser God (1986) 1.20am The Candidate (1972) 3.25 Tall Story (1960) 5.00 The Naked Hills (1956)
Classics
Indie
043_LS411_TV_sat
2/12/09
1:30 PM
Page 1
saturday 21 Let’s Dance For Comic Relief BBC1, 6.40pm Hosted by Claudia Winkleman and Steve Jones, Comic Relief pull out all the stops with this celeb-packed dance show. Anton Du Beke makes that hot-stepping move from dance floor to judge’s panel, leaving Jo Brand, Dick & Dom and Robert Webb to other dancing coaches. Plus The Saturday’s Comic Relief single.
The Colour Of Money ITV1, 6.40pm Ever thought Saturday night big prize shows are too discriminatory towards those who can answer questions or demonstrate some kind of talent? If so, worry no longer! Chris Tarrant’s latest offering asks its contestants to be able to do no more than take money out of a cash machine. Really.
The World’s Greatest Comedy Characters E4, 9pm More a chance to see a threehour clip show than anything else, plus some above average quality talking heads including Eddie Izzard, Terry Jones, Sandra Bernhard and Andrew Sachs. Expect to catch Steptoe and Son, Porridge, Dad’s Army and Curb Your Enthusiasm, among others.
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BBC1
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ITV1
Channel 4
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Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Rachel Allen: Bake! 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 Athletics: UK Indoor Grand Prix 4.30 Final Score 5.25 BBC News 5.40 Regional News And Weather 5.45 Total Wipeout
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Doodle Do Making Moments 6.40 Big Cook Little Cook 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Animalia 7.35 Three Delivery 7.55 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 8.00 Skunk Fu 8.15 Sportsround 8.30 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 9.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 9.55 Bernard 10.00 Basil’s Swap Shop 11.00 Roar 12.00pm Malcolm In The Middle 12.20 Malcolm In The Middle 12.40 Proper Messy 12.45 Super Agents 1.15 Sound 1.45 Revealed 2.00 Psych 2.40 Psych 3.25 FILM: McLintock! (1963) 5.30 Coast 6.30 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. The chief warden puts Mainwaring in court after a light is left burning in the church hall. Put that light out! 7.00 The Genius Of Photography Documentary series exploring the history of photography. 8.00 Timewatch – Queen Elizabeth’s Lost Guns A mile off the coast of the channel island of Alderney lies a shipwreck that could rewrite English naval history. Presenter Saul David joins a team of divers and experts as they attempt to find and raise the ship’s four-hundredyear-old cannons. 9.00 Iran And The West Third episode in the documentary series marking the 30th anniversary of the Iranian Revolution. An A-list of contributors including Iran’s President Khatami tell the inside story of the West’s continuing nuclear confrontation with Iran. 10.00 QI XL Panel-based quiz where the aim is to be interesting. Hosted by Stephen Fry. Includes 15 minutes of previously unseen Quite Interestingness. 10.45 FILM: True North (2006) Starring Peter Mullan, Martin Compston, Gary Lewis and Steven Robertson. Drama. 12.15am Mad Men 1.05 FILM: Duets (2000) 2.50 FILM: The Joy Of Madness (2003)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Dancing On Ice 11.00 Dancing On Ice – The Skate Off 11.30 ITV News And Weather 11.35 FILM: Tobruk (1966) 1.35pm Inspector Morse 3.35 Meridian News And Weather 3.50 FILM: Scooby-Doo (2002) 5.25 ITV News And Weather 5.40 New You’ve Been Framed!
6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Adrenalin Rush 7.30 British Triathlon Grand Prix 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 One Tree Hill 9.55 Friends 10.30 Friends 11.00 Freshly Squeezed 11.55 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 1.00pm Scrubs 1.30 Scrubs 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 4.30 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 5.00 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 5.30 Celebrity Come Dine With Me
6.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Expect laughs aplenty as your favourite big-collared comic serves up his hilarious take on the week’s TV. 6.40 The Colour Of Money See highlights. 7.45 Ant And Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway This week’s show is packed with British talent, as Take That give an exclusive performance of their new single ‘Up All Night,’ plus the one and only Ricky Gervais is in the voice-over booth. And in the brand new feature Escape from Takeaway Prison, 16 prisoners will be reduced to 12 as they make their way through to the Prison Laundry. 9.00 FILM: The Bourne Identity (2002) Starring Matt Damon, Franka Potente, Chris Cooper, Clive Owen and Brian Cox. Action-packed espionage thriller about a government assassin with amnesia and his mission to piece together his identity while evading his pursuers. And looking super-cool. 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 FILM: The Bourne Identity (2002) More of Bourne running around showing old Bond up and giving new Bond a few idas. 11.25 FILM: Spartan (2004) Starring Val Kilmer, Tia Texada. Crime thriller. 1.20am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.15 FILM: Sins Of The Father (2002) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Celebrity special of the cookerybased reality show. Abi Titmuss, Paul Ross, Rodney Marsh, Lesley Joseph and Linda Lusardi take up the challenge. Watch out for Lesley’s hysterics when her kitchen rebels. 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Time Team Tony Robinson and the team attempt to uncover the remains of a large medieval castle buried under a waterside field in Oxfordshire. Buried, not flooded. Hm. 8.00 Grand Designs Architect Richard and his wife Sophie attempt to build a sustainable house. Repeat of Thursday’s show. 9.00 FILM: Vera Drake (2004) Starring Imelda Staunton, Phil Davis and Jim Broadbent. Gritty drama. A working-class wife and mother makes ends meet by cleaning houses. But she also helps local girls ‘in trouble’ by carrying out abortions, and when one of her operations goes wrong, her life unravels. Award-winning. 11.25 The Making Of Slumdog Millionaire A look at the making of the recent hit film. 11.55 FILM: Heartbreak Ridge (1986) Starring Clint Eastwood, Marsha Mason. Action drama. 2.15am The Underground War 3.10 Get The Picture 3.20 3 Minute Wonder 3.25 Hill Street Blues 4.15 Time Team 5.05 Countdown 5.50 Making It 5.55 The Hoobs
6.00am Sunrise 7.00 Chiro 7.05 Milkshake! Music Box 7.10 Franklin 7.40 Franny’s Feet 8.00 Olivia 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Play! 8.40 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.50 Roobarb And Custard Too 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.25 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Fifth Gear 11.00 Mr And Mrs Wolf 12.00pm Zoo Days 12.30 Zoo Days 12.45 FILM: Iron Will (1994) 2.50 FILM: Knights Of The Round Table (1953) 5.00 FILM: Columbo Cries Wolf (1990) 6.50 Minder Comedy drama. Archie smells the chance to make a fortune after stumbling upon a ‘Banksy’ painting in the home of an unsuspecting housewife. But his efforts to woo the art world come unstuck when he learns the mural is a fake. Quelle surprise. 7.50 Five News; Sport 8.00 NCIS Drama series. During the filming of a reality TV show at a marine base, a supermodel is murdered. 9.00 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. When an estate agent is found murdered in one of his properties, the evidence initially points towards a disgruntled ex-tenant. However, further investigation puts the victim’s wife and daughter in the frame. 10.00 Law And Order Crime drama. The wife of the Governor of Connecticut is murdered, leading police to uncover a gay love triangle involving her husband. But the prosecution of the killer runs into trouble when a key witness is banned from testifying. 11.00 NCIS US drama series. Gibbs puts his life in grave danger when he becomes entangled in a kidnapping case involving a face from his past. The body’s attached too. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 Tim Marlow On... Carsten Holler 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Out Of Practice (x2)
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Off The Bar 7.00 Big League Weekend 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.15 LIVE Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice 11.45 Football First: Match Choice 1.15am Football First: Match Choice 2.45 Football First: Match Choice 4.15 Spanish Football 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
6.40 Let’s Dance For Comic Relief See highlights. 8.00 The National Lottery Draws Christine Bleakley hosts the Thunderball and Lotto draws, live from Lottery HQ. Which is obviously in a hollowed out volcano on an uninhabited island in the Carribbean. Obviously. 8.10 Casualty Zoe is determined to be a success as a foster mother to Sharice, but finds it difficult to stay away from work. The sick people might like it if she turned up occassionally. 9.00 The Old Guys Sitcom about two elderly delinquents. Tom and Roy are devastated when they discover that Sally has fallen in love with Mark, an old flame. 9.30 The Vicar Of Dibley Sitcom. When Reverend Pottle, the 102-year-old vicar of Dibley village, dies suddenly, the locals are shocked to discover that his replacement is a woman. D’ya think?! 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from the day’s Premier League matches. 11.30 A Question Of Sport Light-hearted sports quiz. 12.00am FILM: Heavenly Creatures (1994) Starring Kate Winslet. Disturbing drama. 1.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.35 Weatherview 2.40 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 11.00 Max Power 12.00pm Live Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 1.30 Gillette World Sport 2.00 Volvo Ocean Race 2.30 LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 Volvo Ocean Race 6.00 LIVE Super League 8.00 Super 14 Rugby 10.00 Premiership Rugby Union 11.30 Super League 1.30am Premiership Rugby Union 3.00 Super League 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 Volvo Ocean Race
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Tight Lines 7.00 Live Hyundai A League 9.30 Gillette World Sport 10.00 Volvo Ocean Race 10.30 WWE Smackdown 12.30pm Volvo Ocean Race 1.00 European Tour Golf 5.00 WWE: Smackdown 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Golf Night 10.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.30am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.30 Golf Night 5.00 Sports Unlimited
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12.00pm Oops TV (x2) 1.00 Bones (x2) 3.00 Project Runway 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Gladiators: Battle Of The Forces 6.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 7.00 The Simpsons (x 2) 8.00 Road Wars 9.00 Ross Kemp: Return To Afghanistan 10.00 Bones 11.00 24 12.00am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Freaky Eaters 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 FILM: The Girl Next Door (2004) 10.45 Live At The Apollo 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Being Human 1.15 Snog Marry Avoid? 1.45 Naked: Nurses 2.40 Freaky Eaters 3.40 Being Human 4.35 Snog Marry Avoid? 5.30 Close
7.00pm Men, Women And Clothes 7.15 Wives And Daughters 9.00 Seven Photographs That Changed Fashion 10.00 Legends: The Motown Invasion 11.00 Motor City’s Burning: Detroit From Motown To The Stooges 12.00am What’s Going On: The Life And Death Of Marvin Gaye 1.00 Motown At The BBC
12.00pm Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend 1.05 The BRITs 2009 Red Carpet 1.35 The Brit Awards 2009 3.35 The BRITs 2009 Encore 4.35 American Idol (x2) 7.35 Planet’s Funniest Animals 8.00 FILM: Babe (1995) 9.50 FILM: Bowfinger (1999) 11.45 FILM: 8 Mile (2002) 1.55am High School Musical 3 Special
12.35pm FILM: The Odd Couple (1968) 2.40 Torvill And Dean: Dancing On Ice The Live Tour 2008 3.40 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 5.55 The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes 7.05 Wycliffe 8.15 Rosemary And Thyme 9.15 A Touch Of Frost 11.20 Cracker 12.25am Hammer House Of Horror 1.20 Wycliffe
10.00am The Simple Life (x2) 10.55 Dark Angel (x2) 12.40pm Roswell (x2) 2.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends 5.35 Friends 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl 7.30 The Big Bang Theory 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 The World’s Greatest Comedy Characters. See highlights. 12.10am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 Dark Angel
9.00am A Place In The Sun 9.30 Time Team (x3) 12.30pm FILM: Eye Of The Needle (1981) 2.40 Grand Designs (x5) 8.00 Catastrophe 9.00 Guns, Germs And Steel 11.10 John Updike In His Own Words 12.10am The West Wing 1.10 Guns, Germs And Steel 3.20 Close
9.00am The Jerry Springer Show (x2) 10.00 Charmed 11.00 Kyle XY 12.00pm Will And Grace (x2) 1.00 America’s Next Top Model 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x8) 6.00 Will And Grace (x2) 7.00 Criminal Minds 8.00 Ghost Whisperer 9.00 Living With... Yvette And Karl 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI (x2) 1.00am Charmed
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
5.00pm Last Of The Summer Wine 5.45 Keeping Up Appearances 6.25 Last Of The Summer Wine 7.05 FILM: 102 Dalmatians (2000) 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.10 Blackadder II 10.50 A Bit Of Fry And Laurie 11.30 Dinnerladies 12.10am Jonathan Creek 1.20 Blackadder 2.00 A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
1.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 2.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 3.00 Everybody Hates Chris (zx2) 4.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 South Park (x9) 1.30am Dane Cook: Vicious Circle
2.00pm Vesuvius: Deadly Fury 3.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 4.00 Unsolved Murders (x2) 5.00 Nextworld 6.00 Raging Nature 7.00 Storm Chasers 8.00 Alaska’s Great Race 9.00 Murder Shift 10.00 Death Machines 11.00 Crime Scene Forensics 12.00am Extreme Forensics 1.00 A Haunting 2.00 Crime Scene Australia
1.00pm FILM: Nature Unleashed: Fire (2004) 2.40 FILM: Terminal Error (2001) 4.30 FILM: Odysseus And The Isle Of Mists (2007) 6.30 Ghost Stories 7.00 Haunted Homes 8.00 Eli Stone 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Replicant (2001) 12.00am FILM: Emmanuelle In Space: The Meaning Of Love (1994)
10.55am The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) 1.00pm Alfie (1966) 2.55 Carousel (1956) 5.05 Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea (1961) 6.55 Hellfighters (1969) 9.00 The Blob (1958) 10.25 Alfie (1966) 12.25am Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea (1961) 2.15 Hellfighters (1969)
9.30am Across The Universe (2007) 11.45 Factory Girl (2006) 1.30pm The Top 10 Show 1.45 Into The Wild (2007) 4.15 Trekkies 5.50 December Boys (2007) 7.45 Across The Universe (2007) 10.00 Factory Girl (2006) 11.45 Into The Wild (2007) 2.15am Repo Man (1984)
1.00pm Thunderbird Six (1968) 2.55 The Pink Panther (1963) 5.15 Ladies In Lavender (2004) 7.15 Stormbreaker (2006) 9.00 This Is England (2006) Accalimed Brit flick about a boy trying to fit in with difficult results. 11.00 Wilderness (2006) 12.50am Hallam Foe (2007)
7.50am Sweet November (1968) 9.55 The Naked Hills (1956) 11.20 Tall Man Riding (1955) 12.55pm The Desert Song (1953) 3.00 The Treasure Of The Sierra Madre (1948) 5.15 Crazy In Love (1992) 7.05 The Dark Crystal (1982) 9.00 Lone Star (1996) 11.35 Promises In The Dark (1979) 1.50am Lone Star (1996)
Classics
Indie
044_LS411_TV_sun
2/13/09
12:51 PM
Page 1
sunday 22 Solo: Lost At Sea BBC2, 9pm This provocative documentary charts the brave attempt of Andrew McAuley to cross the Southern Ocean from Australia to New Zealand. One day away from success he sent out a distress signal. His empty kayak was found 30 miles from shore but his body was never recovered. The tapes from his cameras were.
Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Sharon Osbourne ITV1, 10pm The first of six interviews hosted by Piers Morgan has the first lady of rock with the life story that could fill an issue of The National Enquirer all on its own. From a violent father to when Ozzy tried to kill her to leaving The X Factor, there’s plenty. Plus, the first UK interview with daughter Aimee.
Penelope Keith And The Fast Lady BBC4, 10pm The lovely Penelope Keith tells the story of Edwardian ‘it’ girl Dorothy Levitt and retraces Levitt’s 1905 journey from London to Liverpool in a De Dion motor car. Penelope uses Dorothy’s handbook The Woman And The Car, as well as advice from motoring historians for her trip.
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Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 7.45 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Cash In The Attic 1.45 EastEnders 3.40 Diagnosis Murder 4.25 After You’ve Gone 4.55 Songs Of Praise 5.30 BBC News 5.40 Regional News And Weather
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Doodle Do Making Moments 6.40 Big Cook Little Cook 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Animalia 7.35 Three Delivery 7.55 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 8.00 The Revenge Files Of Alistair Fury 8.30 Only In America 9.00 The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 MasterChef 12.30pm Film 2009 With Jonathan Ross 1.00 Escape To The Country 2.00 FILM: The Fall Of The Roman Empire (1964) 4.55 Coast 5.05 Ski Sunday 5.35 Orangutan Diary
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Championship 10.25 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 10.55 Coronation Street Omnibus 1.10pm ITV News And Weather 1.15 FILM: The Appaloosa (1966) 3.10 FILM: The Living Daylights (1987) 5.35 The Krypton Factor
6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 Planet Cook 7.05 Trans World Sport 8.00 4Sport: Destination 2012 9.00 Friends 9.30 Confessions Of A Shopaholic: T4 Movie Special 10.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.30pm Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 1.35 Friends 2.05 The Big Bang Theory 2.40 Script: Video Exclusive 2.45 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 3.45 The Simpsons 4.15 The Simpsons 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Time Team
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice 8.00 Football First: Match Choice 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Football Special 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Ford Football Special 3.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 4.00 Spanish Football
6.00 Nature’s Great Events Nature documentary series. Every year, the survival of grizzly bears in North America depends on a spectacular natural event: the return of hundreds of millions of salmon from the Pacific Ocean to the mountain streams where they were born. 7.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team visit Althorp in Northamptonshire. 8.00 Lark Rise To Candleford Costume drama. A feud between Lark Rise and the neighbouring village of Fordlow has been simmering for three generations, but it takes young love to bring the two communities together and save the day. 9.00 The Victorians Jeremy Paxman continues his exploration of the Victorian world by entering the typical Victorian home, a haven of order, respectability and morality. Yeah right. Time for a peek behind the twitching curtains. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Damages Acclaimed American legal drama. Ellen works with the FBI to lure Tom into making an illegal payment to a plaintiff. 11.00 FILM: The Rainmaker (1997) Starring Matt Damon, Danny DeVito, Claire Danes. Legal drama. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Nature’s Great Events 2.15 Holby City 3.15 Moses Jones 4.15 BBC News
6.05 Amazon With Bruce Parry Bruce parties with the millionaires of Manaus, the Amazon’s biggest city, he lives and works with the illegal gold miners seeking their fortune, and he sleeps in the forest canopy with the scientists trying to value the forest in a revolutionary new way. 7.05 Top Gear Top Gear undertakes one of its epic races as Jeremy Clarkson attempts to drive across Japan faster than Richard and James on the legendary bullet train. 8.10 Richard Hammond’s Engineering Connections Richard discovers the secrets of the world’s tallest building, Taipei 101, built on a fault line in a typhoon hotspot. 9.00 Solo: Lost At Sea See highlights. 10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Adrian Chiles introduces highlights of three Premier League games – Liverpool v Manchester City, Newcastle v Everton and Fulham v West Brom. 11.00 High Altitude An all-action winter sports show. 11.30 Oscars Newsnight Special In this special programme to mark the Oscar night, the presenters of Newsnight Review, Kirsty Wark and Martha Kearney, speak to all the directors of the five films competing for this year’s Best Picture award. 12.00am Ideal 12.30 FILM: Pollock (2000) 2.25 BBC News 4.15 The Super League Show
6.05 Meridian News; Weather 6.20 ITV News; Weather 6.35 Creature Comforts More animated thoughts from the animal kingdom. The ups and downs of parenthood – from cute and cuddly to teenage tantrums. 6.45 Dancing On Ice Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby bring you winter magic with more celebrity ice dancing. It is week seven, and only seven celebrities remain. Viewers have the chance to vote for their favourite stars to save them from the skate off. 8.15 Wild At Heart When Georgina brands Du Plessis as South Africa’s version of Crocodile Dundee, his newfound fame goes to his head and puts an animal’s welfare in jeopardy. 9.15 Dancing On Ice – The Skate Off It is results time. Now Todd Carty’s gone, who will be demonstrating how slippery ice is? 10.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Sharon Osbourne See highlights. 11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.15 FILM: The In-Laws (2003) Starring Michael Douglas, Albert Brooks. Remake of the 1979 comedy about a podiatrist who discovers that the father of his daughter’s fiance is an undercover CIA agent. 1.05am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.05 The Cosby Mysteries 2.55 Your Home For A Pound? 3.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning
6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Christianity: A History Series exploring the history and global impact of the world’s biggest religion. Eminent scientist Colin Blakemore examines Christianity’s relationship with science and whether the fundamental tensions between the two can ever be resolved. Quoting Robin Ince: “Magic man dunnit.” 8.00 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Celebrity special of the cookerybased reality show. PR consultant Lynne Franks, Apprentice star Raef Bjayou, singer Michelle Gayle and The Bill’s Chris Ellison take up the challenge. Time for a good nose around celeb homes. 9.00 FILM: My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006) Starring Uma Thurman, Luke Wilson, Anna Faris, Eddie Izzard. Screwball comedy about a man who must suffer the consequences when he breaks up with his girlfriend – who just happens to be a superhero. 10.50 FILM: Vanilla Sky (2001) Starring Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Jason Lee and Kurt Russell. Surreal psychological thriller about a womanising playboy who is horrifically disfigured when his suicidal ex-lover coaxes him into a car and drives off a bridge. 1.25am FILM: Here On Earth (2000) 3.10 The Birthday 3.25 Hill Street Blues 4.15 Time Team 5.05 Countdown 5.50 The Hoobs
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 9.50 Demolition Dad 10.00 Everybody Hates Chris 10.30 Everybody Hates Chris 11.00 Cowboy Builders 12.00pm Numb3rs 1.00 Nigel Marven’s Venom Hunters 2.00 Animal Rescue Squad 2.30 Zoo Days 2.50 FILM: Slappy And The Stinkers (1998) 4.20 FILM: Murder By Death (1976) 6.05 Five News And Sport 6.15 FILM: Short Circuit (1986) Starring Ally Sheedy, Steve Guttenberg, Fisher Stevens. Lighthearted comedy in which a military robot comes alive after being hit by a freak power overload. The original ‘Number 5’ whose physical similiarity to Wall:E much was made. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers Documentary. The truckers have to be on guard as a polar bear stalks the ice. Bet Glasgow to Portsmouth truckers don’t have to deal with this. 9.00 FILM: Attack Force (2006) Starring Steven Seagal, Lisa Lovbrand, David Kennedy, Matthew Chambers, Danny Webb and Andrew Bicknell. Action thriller in which the leader of a strike team loses his men in a cold-blooded attack. The man sets out to confront the killers, only to become locked in battle with a psychotic drug dealer. Along the way, he uncovers a plot involving a covert arm of the military. 11.00 Soho Blues Documentary series profiling police work in the heart of London’s West End. This instalment sees the cops called to the scene of an accident in which a partygoer has fallen six floors through a glass skylight. Have they not seen the anti-drink adverts? 12.00am Lockdown 1.00 Winter X Games 1.50 Boxing USA 2.40 UEFA Cup Football (x2) 5.10 Wildlife SOS
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 11.00 Seamaster Sailing 11.30 LIVE Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 2.30pm European Tour Golf 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 Golf Night 9.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 11.00 LIVE NASCAR 3.00am Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 5.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Premiership Rugby Union 7.30 Spanish Football 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Wild Spirits 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Super League 3.00 Squash 4.00 Squash 5.00 WWE Experience 6.00 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 8.00 NFL: Total Access 9.00 WWE Experience 10.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.00 WWE Vintage Collection 12.00am Golf Night 2.00 Close
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12.00pm Futurama (x2) 1.00 Oops TV (x2) 2.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 3.00 Hello Goodbye 4.00 Futurama (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Gladiators 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Lost 10.00 Ross Kemp: Return To Afghanistan 11.00 LIVE: Oscars 2009 - Live From The Red Carpet 1.00am Night Cops 1.50 Street Wars
7.00pm The Wrong Door 7.10 FILM: Stargate (1994) 9.00 Being Human 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 The Undercover Princes 11.45 Grownups 12.15am Being Human 1.15 Naked: Nurses 2.10 My 22 Stone Dad And Skinny Me 3.10 The Undercover Princes 4.10 Naked: Nurses 5.30 Close
7.00pm Wine 8.00 Sissinghurst (x2) 9.00 The Joy Of Motoring 10.00 Penelope Keith And The Fast Lady. See highlights. 11.00 The History Man 12.50am Communism And Football 1.50 Penelope Keith And The Fast Lady 2.50 Sissinghurst (x2)
12.55pm FILM: Babe (1995) 2.50 Ant And Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 4.05 The Colour Of Money 5.05 The Funny Side Of The Street 5.35 Coronation Street Omnibus 8.00 Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 FILM: Top Gun (1986) 12.15am FILM: True Lies (1994) 2.55 Dancing On Ice
12.20pm Wycliffe 1.25 Torvill And Dean: Dancing On Ice 2.30 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.40 The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes 5.50 Under The Greenwood Tree 7.55 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Going Wrong 9.00 FILM: Ray (2004) 11.55 Ladies Of Letters 12.30am PD James: Devices And Desires (x2)
11.30am Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious (x2) 1.15pm Beauty And The Geek 2.10 Crowned 3.05 Age Of Love 4.00 Ghost Whisperer 5.00 Friends 5.30 Friends 6.00 90210 6.55 One Tree Hill 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Entrapment (1999) 11.10 Skins 12.15am Russell Brand’s Ponderland 12.50 Rude Tube
1.45pm Location, Location, Location (x4) 4.35 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.25 Jamie At Home 7.55 The River Cottage Treatment 9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 10.00 World’s Fattest Pet And Me 11.05 Father Ted 11.40 The IT Crowd 12.10am Curb Your Enthusiasm 12.50 Deal Or No Deal
9.00am The Jerry Springer Show (x2) 10.00 Charmed 11.00 Kyle XY 12.00pm Will And Grace (x2) 1.00 Extreme: Skinny Celebrities 2.00 America’s Next Top Model (x4) 6.00 RSPCA Animal Rescue (x2) 7.00 New Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 Jade’s Progress 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 CSI (x3) 1.00am Charmed
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
6.20pm Keeping Up Appearances 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine 7.40 Keeping Up Appearances 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 9.00 Open All Hours 9.40 Seven Of One: Spanners Eleven 10.20 Porridge 11.00 The Two Ronnies Christmas Sketchbook 12.20am Open All Hours
2.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 3.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 4.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 South Park (x9) 1.30am Celebrity Death Match (x8) 5.10 The Knights Of Prosperity (x2)
10.00am Kevin McCloud’s UK Superstructures (x2) 11.00 Future Weapons 12.00pm Hitler’s Henchmen (x2) 2.00 Alaska’s Great Race (x4) 6.00 Raging Nature 7.00 Ways To Save The Planet 8.00 Storm Chasers 9.00 Treasure Quest 10.00 Solved 11.00 Murder Shift 12.00am Extreme Forensics 1.00 A Haunting
11.00am Haunted Homes 12.00pm Final Days Of Planet Earth 2.00 FILM: Edward Scissorhands (1990) 4.00 Star Trek 5.00 Firefly 6.00 Eli Stone 7.00 FILM: The Sword Of Xanten (2004) 8.00 Sanctuary 9.00 FILM: Minority Report (2002) 11.50 FILM: Sands Of Oblivion (2007) 2.00am Medium 3.00 Dead Like Me
1.35pm The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938) 3.20 King Kong Escapes (1968) 5.00 Journey To The Center Of The Earth (1959) 7.10 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 9.00 The Boston Strangler (1968) 11.00 King Kong Escapes (1968) 12.40am Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973)
11.15am Mulholland Drive (2001) 1.45pm Tumbleweeds (1999) 3.30 Water (2005) 5.30 Away From Her (2006) 7.30 Mulholland Drive (2001) 10.00 Bottle Rocket (1996) 11.35 Summer Of Sam (1999) 2.00am The Movie Geek 2.30 The Big Lebowski (1998)
1.00pm The First Wives Club (1996) 3.05 The Grass Is Greener (1960) 5.20 Belles On Their Toes (1952) 7.10 Cheaper By The Dozen 2 (2005) 9.00 Kiss The Girls (1997) Morgan Freeman and Ashley Judd are on the trail of a serial killer. Watch out baddies. 11.15 Get Over It (2001) 12.55am Motorcycle Diaries (2004)
8.20am The Winter’s Tale 11.10 Cash McCall (1959) 1.05pm To Have And Have Not (1944) 3.00 Moonstruck (1987) 4.55 The Women (1939) 7.20 Executive Action (1973) 9.00 Boogie Nights (1997) 11.55 Trog (1970) 1.40am Boogie Nights (1997) 4.20 The Screening Room 5.00 The Winter’s Tale
Classics
Indie
045_LS411_TV_mon
2/13/09
12:53 PM
Page 1
monday 23 Heroes BBC2, 9pm It’s months after the explosions at Pinehurst and Primatech and everyone’s trying to live under the radar. Suresh is driving a cab again, Daphne and Matt are setting up house as a ‘normal’ couple – heck, Peter’s working as a paramedic. It’s the other Petrelli brother that’s lurking in a most disconcerting way.
Law & Order: UK ITV1, 9pm Where can you find Bradley Walsh, Doctor Who’s Martha Jones and the recent Battlestar Gallactica’s Apollo Adama? Right here, it would seem. Bringing the tried and tested formula to Blighty, this new series follows a single case through from police investigation to criminal prosecution. Anglo stylee.
Samantha Who? E4, 10pm Christina Applegate continues with her slapstick amnesiac heroine for a second series. Since she ended the last one without a job she needs to put some welly into that employment hunt, which could be why she reluctantly agrees to team up with Regina to start a real estate business. Hmm.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 One Minute Wonders 4.35 Half Moon Investigations 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Chldren’s television 9.00 Big And Small 9.15 Numberjacks 9.30 Something Special - Out And About 9.50 Bob The Builder 10.00 Big Barn Farm 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Dangermouse 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Coast 1.05 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 2.05 The World At War 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Flog It! 6.00 Battle Of The Brains Quiz show hosted by Nicky Campbell. 6.30 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz. 7.00 Richard Hammond’s Engineering Connections Richard Hammond works out how things work. 7.50 High Altitude An all-action winter sports show. 8.00 University Challenge In the Grand Final of the student quiz, the University of Manchester take on Corpus Christi College, Oxford in a bid to become series champions. Hosted by Jeremy Paxman. 8.30 Masterchef Restaurateur John Torode and fruit and veg man Gregg Wallace look for the country’s next masterchef. 9.00 Heroes See highlights. 9.45 The Best Of Dragons’ Den What it says on the tin. 10.00 Not Going Out Sitcom. When Tim and Lee try to organise a party for Lucy’s 30th birthday, their ideas of what makes a good party differ. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Around The World In 80 Faiths Pete Owen Jones’s adventures continue as he embarks on the American leg of his religious odyssey. 12.20am Around The World In 80 Faiths 1.20 BBC News BBC 4.00 Talk Italian (x6) 5.30 Eurografters: Italy
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish Celebrity Special
6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.00 How To Dump Your Mates 10.30 Fact Or Fiction 11.30 Year Dot Television 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Darwin’s Originals 12.35 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.40 FILM: The Frogmen (1951) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Hayley stuns Zak, Archie and Zoe when she tells them she’s going on a date with Rhys. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Dispatches: The Problem Princes Documentary examining what the future holds for William, second-in-line to the throne. Alex Thomson investigates the roles currently adopted by the royal princes and looks at how their activities are shaping the modern monarchy. 9.00 The Real Casino Royale The third in a series of documentaries exploring the relationships between the upper echelons of society and the criminal underclass. According to new claims, in the 1960s the multimillionaire John Aspinall orchestrated an audacious scam where he ruthlessly cheated his rich clientele of millions of pounds in his own Mayfair casino, the Clermont Club. 10.00 FILM: 28 Days Later (2002) Starring Cillian Murphy, Naomie Harris, Brendan Gleeson, Megan Burns and Christopher Eccleston. Claustrophobic zombie horror by Trainspotting director Danny Boyle. 12.15am FILM: KM 31 (2006) 2.10 My Dad, The Serial Killer 2.35 Six Shooter 3.05 3 Minute Wonder 3.10 Hill Street Blues 4.00 TVM: Puzzle Maths 2 (x2) 4.30 Number Crew 4.40 Maths Mansion (x8)
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Build A New Life In The Country – Was It Worth It? 12.30pm Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.10 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Avenging Angel (2007) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 6.30 Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Seamaster Sailing 9.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 10.00 LIVE Tennis: Dubai Tennis Championships 2009 2.00pm Seamaster Sailing 2.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.00 LIVE Tennis: Dubai Tennis Championships 2009 7.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 7.30 LIVE Football League: League Two 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Big League Weekend 12.30am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 Time Of Our Lives 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Time Of Our Lives 5.00 Max Power
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Watchdog Nicky Campbell, Julia Bradbury and Paul Heiney present the latest consumer news and advice from the Watchdog office. 8.00 EastEnders Ricky and Bianca face a new Whitney-related dilemma. It must be Thursday. Always a Whitney crisis on a Thursday. 8.30 Panorama Business dragon Theo Paphitis asks if the banks and the government are doing enough to help Britain’s 4.7 million small businesses survive the recession. 9.00 Who Do You Think You Are? Zoe Wanamaker’s father, American actor Sam Wanamaker, fled to the UK to escape the anti-communist McCarthy witch-hunts, so Zoe heads to Washington DC, where she gains access to his FBI file. Wanting to explore the roots of her father’s leftwing politics, Zoe next looks into the life of her father’s father, an emigre Russian Jew. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 FILM: Trust The Man (2005) Starring David Duchovny, Julianne Moore, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Eva Mendes. Romcom. 12.15am Weatherview 12.20 Sign Zone: The Victorians 1.20 Victorian Farm 2.20 Antiques Roadshow 3.20 Natural World 4.10 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Carl hides his shock as rumours of Chas and Paddy’s relationship spread through the village. Load of old gossips. 7.30 Coronation Street Tony is unnerved by Luke’s connection to Carla. Watch his eyes do the bulging thang. 8.00 The Feelgood Factor It’s three weeks since the programme launched its fitness and healthy eating initiative. Have our Manchester bobbies managed to stay out of the chippie? We see if the Glaswegian bingo lovers have managed to stay off the doughnuts – and how is the ladies darts team’s fun run progressing? 8.30 Coronation Street Ken leaves Deirdre humiliated. He’s been doing that for nigh on 40 years. 9.00 Law & Order: UK See highlights. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Pale Rider (1985) Starring Clint Eastwood, Carrie Snodgress and Christopher Penn. Atmospheric western about a guntoting preacher who defends a settlement from attack. 12.40am Wanted 1.30 The BRITs Backstage 2.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 2.30 Loose Women 3.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 Home And Away Melody sleeps rough on the streets of Melbourne. 6.30 Wild Animal ER Documentary series based at Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Buckinghamshire. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn finds out how wheat is harvested; visits the cleanest place in Britain; and learns how the world’s toughest crash helmets are made. 8.00 Fifth Gear Motoring magazine show. Vicki meets Charley Boorman for some four-wheeled fun; and Jonny familiarises himself with the Honda Insight’s green credentials. 9.00 FILM: The 6th Day (2000) Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Rapaport and Robert Duvall. Futuristic thriller about a helicopter pilot recovering from a near-fatal accident, who finds that a clone has replaced him in his absence. 11.25 FILM: Alien Nation (1988) Starring James Caan, Mandy Patinkin, Terence Stamp. Sci-fi thriller set in the not-too-distant future when aliens, labelled `newcomers’ by humans, have settled on Earth but have yet to integrate fully into society due to their hosts’ prejudice. 1.00am NASCAR: The Sprint Cup 1.50 USPGA Golf 2.40 AMA Supercross 3.30 Race And Rally UK (x2) 4.20 NBA 360 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Powder Adventures 8.30 Ford Football Special 10.00 Super Sunday: The Last Word 10.30 Spanish Football 12.30pm Ford Football Special 2.00 Super Sunday: The Last Word 2.30 Spanish Football 4.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.30 Big League Weekend 7.00 NASCAR 9.00 Tennis: Dubai Tennis Championships 11.00 International Netball 1.00am Tennis: Dubai Tennis Championships 3.00 Big League Weekend 4.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 8.00am Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 10.00 LIVE NASCAR 12.00pm Seamaster Sailing 12.30 Powder Adventures 1.00 Super 14 Rugby 3.00 NASCAR 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 International Netball 9.00 Max Power 10.00 WWE The Bottom Line 11.00 WWE: Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
12.00pm Don’t Forget The Lyrics 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Gladiators 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 24 10.00 Oscars 2009: The Highlights 11.30 Road Wars (x3) 2.15am Stargate Atlantis (x2) 3.55 Battlestar Galactica
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The Real Hustle 8.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Grownups 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Heroes 11.15 Being Human 12.15am Gavin And Stacey 12.45 Grownups 1.15 Snog Marry Avoid? 1.45 Being Human 2.40 The Real Hustle: High Stakes
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Iran And Britain 8.30 The Book Quiz 9.00 Wine 10.00 Maradona - In The Hands Of The Gods: Storyville 11.30 Barca - The Inside Story: Storyville 1.00am Gods Of Brazil 2.10 Football And Fascism 3.10 Wine 5.30 Close
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Vernon Kay: The Hot Desk 8.00 Holiday Homes From Hell 9.00 FILM: City Slickers (1991) 11.25 Coronation St (x2) 12.25am FILM: Manhunter (1986)
1.20pm Pie In The Sky 2.20 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.30 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.30 Surgical Spirit 5.05 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 7.55 The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Robbie Coltrane: B-Road Britain 10.00 FILM: The Pianist (2002) 1.00am Liverpool One
1.15pm Scrubs 1.45 Smallville 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.20 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 90210 10.00 Samantha Who?. See highlights. 10.30 FILM: Entrapment (1999) 12.45am Scrubs (x2) 1.40 My Name Is Earl
2.00pm Hill Street Blues 3.00 A Place By The Sea 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 6.55 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 Vertical City 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 Country House Rescue 11.05 ER 12.05am Brothers And Sisters
12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 8.00 CSI 9.00 America’s Next Top Model 10.00 Pop Goes The Band 11.00 CSI 12.00am Home Video Heroes (x2) 1.00 Charmed
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
6.20pm Keeping Up Appearances 7.00 My Family 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Blackadder Goes Forth 10.20 The Royle Family 11.00 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.40 The Worst Week Of My Life 12.20am Blackadder Goes Forth
3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x2) 12.10am Two And A Half Men 12.40 Frasier (x2)
2.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 American Chopper 9.00 How It’s Made 9.30 How It’s Made 10.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA
11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: Solar Attack (2005) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 The Invisible Man 7.00 Angel 8.00 Haunted Homes 9.00 Eli Stone 10.00 Medium 11.00 Dead Like Me 12.00am FILM: Slayer (2006) 2.00 Flash Gordon
12.10pm Samson And Delilah (1949) 2.20 A Foreign Affair (1948) 4.20 A Medal For Benny (1945) 5.45 Sullivan’s Travels (1941) 7.20 The Out-ofTowners (1970) 9.00 Anne Of The Thousand Days (1969) 11.25 Samson And Delilah (1949) 1.35am Experiment In Terror (1962)
11.40am Best (2000) 1.40pm The Last Mogul: Life And Times Of Lew Wasserman (2005) 3.20 Hollywoodland (2006) 5.30 Kenny (2007) 7.20 Southland Tales (2006) 10.00 Crash (1996) 11.45 Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas (1998) 1.50am The Top 10 Show 2.05 Happiness (1999)
1.00pm The City That Never Sleeps (1953) 2.45 The Destructors (1967) 4.40 The Moonraker (1958) 6.25 I Am Sam (2001) 9.00 Along Came A Spider (2001) 11.05 Indecent Proposal (1993) Loved up but poor Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore are tempted by Robert Redford. 1.20am The Entity (1981)
8.05am Cash McCall (1959) 9.55 Fort Vengeance (1953) 11.20 Elvis On Tour (1972) 1.00pm The Barkleys Of Broadway (1949) 3.00 Montana (1950) 4.30 To Trap A Spy (1966) 6.15 Goodbye Mr Chips (1969) 9.00 Funny Farm (1988) 10.55 Friday The 13th (1980) 12.45am Dangerous Liaisons (1988)
Classics
Indie