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2/20/09
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t h e city magazine for brighton & h o v e www.thelatest.co.uk
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 24 February – 2 March 2009
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sunday best our annual round up of the hottest roasts in town
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2/19/09
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003_LS412_contents
2/20/09
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Contents
Welcome
★latest upfront 5–11
We‘re all finding our own ways to deal with the credit crunch. Here at Latest we‘ve been offering you loads of great offers at local businesses. This week it’s the turn of David Clulow opticians, who are inviting all Latest readers to take advantage of a £10 sight test and a discount on their glasses and sunglasses (p15). From this week we’re also offering you the chance to win a pair of cinema tickets every week – turn to film (p37) to find out how to enter our competition for luxury seats in the Duke of York’s fabulous new balcony. Brighton Festival have announced their exciting programme for 2009. This is the first year with chief executive Andrew Comben at the helm. For a glimpse at how he has influenced the festival, see news (p12) and keep reading over the coming months for exclusive interviews, previews and reviews. We always have an interesting food section – how could we not with the best food writer in town? This week’s section is even bigger than usual, with a guide to great places in and around Brighton and Hove to have a Sunday roast (p19). On Andrew Kay’s food page, he takes a group of sceptic friends on a tour through the many delicacies of oysters (p17). Our brilliant music writer Nick Aldwinckle has now left us for a few months to go travelling. Read his final interview, with Canadian rebels F**ked Up, in the music section, where you’ll also find Great Escape news and loads of previews and gig listings (p30). We have more details of the exciting programme at Theatre Royal Brighton this week, with interviews with some of its stars. Richard E Grant talks about playing a difficult, aggressive parent, and his own tumultuous childhood (p11), while Tamsin Greig talks to Andrew about political drama and David Hare’s Gethsemane (p25). Talking of political drama and intrigue, in Latest Sport Joe Curtin dissects the financial problems facing Premier League football (p14). Don‘t forget that Brighton Science Festival is taking place all this week. Check out the latest news and listings at www.brightonscience.com In Latest Homes, take a peek at a new luxury development of two and three bedroom apartments in Albion Street. Created for the lettings market, the dream homes are available through Property Moves (p70)
5 Seann’s not likely to get a job in telesales – especially after this
6 Social diary tests its grey matter at the Southern FM quiz
★ latest listings 23–43 23 Reviews and listings Marlena Shaw and Keane
25 Stage Tamsin Greig interviewed; listings
7 Dani says stop moaning about weather and should Beyonce cover up?
8 Alison likes new places, just don’t try
26 Film The Class discussed and reviewed; listings and competition
06
to make her hold your monkey
28 Comedy
8 Will goes all Neanderthal 9 CelebCity: EastEnders stars in town 10 Bare Cheek: Are you a top or bottom? 11 Richard E Grant on aggressive parenting and unhappy families
★ latest news 12–14 12
News: Brighton Festival programme announced and Mary Mears on a scooter share scheme for oldies
13 Fancy philosophising over a pint? Phil Mills says turn it into an art form.
14 Letters: Can you get a Christmas pudding moving?
Big stars should be nice to little people; listings
28 Art A new gallery in town; listings
29 Kids & Events World Book Day and Lilac Rescue Day
29 Books An evening with Queer Writing South Brighton Latest Download Chart
TOP
40
30 Music Canadian punks F**ked Up, Great Escape news and Art Brut. reviews and listings
14 Sport: Is it Armaggeddon for football?
33 Clubs
★ latest lifestyle 15–22
34 Gay
15 On the cover: beautiful bespoke
36 TV
08 11
Hedkandi and Carnivalesque; listings
glasses at David Clulow
16 Hotlist. Eat well and eat wisely
The best of Winter Pride; listings Dani has a new vice – it involves ice skates and shiny leotards, plus seven days of TV
17 Andrew treks off on an ‘oyster’sy 19 Sunday roasts: one of the best meals of the week, here’s where to get yours…
22 Face off/ Zara tries on a new visage
25
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17 01273
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Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Business Director Angi Mariani
Editor Rachel Pegg
Creative Director Andrew Kay
Assistant Editor Zara Baker
Production Director Fiona McTernan
Music Editor Jeff Hemmings
Finance Manager Sharon Caple
Chief Sub Editor Alison Swann
Art Director Stephen King
Sub Editors Joe Curtin Patrick O’Donnell
Production Manager Neil Ive
Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer Staff Writer Dani Winch Clubs Writer Jaime Pettit
Rachel Pegg Latest 7 Editor
Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Marie Viviani Administration Claire Peerless
latest
Managing Editor Bill Smith
Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH
Books Writer John O‘Donoghue
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2/20/09
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005_LS412_Seann
2/18/09
2:32 PM
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CITYSPEAKS
See more at thelatest.co.uk
Seann’s world Seann Walsh considers the credit crunch and how it is affecting us all
Crunch time The credit crunch has finished puberty and flowered into a recession. Some even say depression. Opinion among experts is divided between recession and depression, although, from what I’ve read, the experts don’t really seem to know the difference. I think we need better experts – we’d lose respect for Alan Hansen if he thought a playmaker was a dramatist. Either way, the boom of the 90s, the manic high, has been replaced by a big, fat downer. The economy is bipolar, and is currently selfharming and crying in front of a mirror. It could get worse between the now in which I write this (two weeks ago), and the now in which you read it (now). It could have become so bad that, in the form of this magazine, you’re now reading your duvet.
tenuous, misleadingly simplistic analogy refers to the recent controversy of RBS promising its investment bankers £1billion in bonuses, despite the minor cockup of completely ruining the economy. You have to admire John Prescott’s reaction to this. Yes, John Prescott looks like a family of aliens wearing an unconvincing human costume. And yes, watching him attempt to talk is like watching a wrestling match between him and the concept of language, in which language suffers a bruising defeat, and yet nobody wins. But such was the doggedness of his opposition to these bonuses that he set up a Facebook group to petition against it. How new-school. Anyway, like John Prescott in 10 years or so, the economy isn’t well at all. It all makes me think of telesales. Brighton has more ‘telesales agents’ than anywhere else in the UK. And telesales, like so many things in Brighton, seems to me a wholly pointless industry that trains people to sell rubbish they don’t believe in to people who don’t want it. It’s not a response to any demand – it’s an industry created out of nothing. Despite the constant cleaners and the attempted sterility of the building, the callers’ germs proliferate, as colds and sore throats spread around the ‘call floor’, a cold, festering ditch of grey ambitionlessness. But amid the misery, money zips back and forth: the wages of the staff; the money from the idiots who buy the rubbish on sale; the money coming in from the suppliers of the rubbish on sale. Think of the jobs it creates: callers; cleaners; team leaders; receptionists; trainers; managers. This spiritual desert is an economic goldmine. I’m reluctant to say it, but maybe, right now, telesales is good for the economy. I feel bad saying it, but at least I’m not you – at least it’s not written on my duvet.
“A businessman I know refused to buy me a drink recently, citing a lack of funds. I feel no sympathy. He owns three pubs; I own three pairs of trousers” Maybe your house is worth so little that you’ve swapped it for a bowl of Corn Flakes. Remember before the recession? Remember the good old days of the credit crunch? Remember when your house was worth a packet of Corn Flakes? I avoided the credit crunch by employing the clever tactic of always having been broke. But it still affects me – once-moneyed friends have to think twice before buying me drinks. A businessman I know refused to buy me a drink very recently, citing a lack of funds. I feel no sympathy. He owns three pubs; I own three pairs of trousers. Economics during a depression is like football during a World Cup. Suddenly, everyone’s got opinions. If the current situation were a football match, it might go thus: the bankers appeared to be winning by several million goals, until it emerged that their goals weren’t actually real, and then they turned into own goals, and now the bankers are losing, but they still collect winners’ medals. The latter part of that
Comments? Get in touch: letters@thelatest.co.uk
latestcrossword Cryptic 182 ACROSS 1 Deride monarch’s skating in ticket kiosk (7-6) 7 In reference to pa’s poor interpretation (7) 9 Girl is sent back to remove lumps (5) 10 Tyrannical man - a new topic (8) 11 Remain in support (4) 13 Criminal - Roy perhaps - gets to be right (6) 15 Sausage made by girl friend in France (6) 18 Fairy stick having pale fudge centre (4) 19 Cut down genuine cover for polecat (8) 22 Berate Ethel for hiding the dentures (5) 23 Fabric for Dwight’s first lady (7) 24 Demolition of crime? (13)
solutions on page 34
Quick 182 DOWN 1 One gets on when he’s at school (7) 2 Gentleman goes up river with nothing but lace (5) 3 I’m correct - or, rather, not (8) 4 Loudly I shout but lose out to the swimmer (4) 5 Train that is built for sluggishness (7) 6 Foe of mine coming from three directions (5) 8 The way relatives come to the surface (4) 12 Tree responsible for log mania (8) 14 Hat-piece not allowed, it is said, on French water (7) 16 Sea hazard in which I caught bird on the rise (7) 17 Framework for national follower (4) 18 The point to which irritation is caused by wicked woman (5) 20 I adopt unusual island for defence (5) 21 Weeders made to go on foot (4)
ACROSS 1 Winged messenger (7-6) 7 Satirise (7) 9 Keen (5) 10 Urged persistently (8) 11 Every one (4) 13 Secretion points (6) 15 Open out (6) 18 Swimmer (4) 19 Designers (8) 22 Snoozed (5) 23 Aquatic creature (7) 24 Removal from view (13)
DOWN 1 Vocation (7) 2 Frolics (5) 3 Puritan (8) 4 News piece (4) 5 Etch (7) 6 Direction (5) 8 Want (4) 12 Single woman (8) 14 Replies (7) 16 Warrant (7) 17 Blemish (4) 18 Melted together (5) 20 Like elves (5) 21 Halt (4)
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006_LS412_Diary/Comps
2/19/09
12:08 PM
Page 2
LATESTDIARY
COMPETITIONS
latestdiary
IN IT TO WIN IT
With Tim Richardson Lynsey Bartlett, Jack The Lad and Danny Pike (all Southern FM)
Big quiz for Help a Local Child Sussex companies joined Southern FM in a fantastic turnout for the second Breakfast Show Big Big Quiz, held at The Old Market in Hove. Brighton’s Churchill Square Shopping Centre won top prize at the event hosted by The Southern FM Breakfast Show trio Lynsey, Danny and Jack. They were closely followed by the Brighton Centre in second place, and RDF IT Solutions in third place. Fourteen teams from local businesses pitted their wits against each other by answering questions from categories that included We Love Local, For the Love of Telly, Affairs…, Current Affairs, and of course, The Name Game! Other companies who competed, and supported Help a Local Child, included Brighton Racecourse, Skerritt Consultants, Donatello’s Restaurant and defending champions Family Investments, who had to give up their Pub Quiz trophy. Breakfast Show presenter Lynsey said “We all had lots of fun, although it does get quite competitive and everyone was in it to win! Most importantly, the quiz was a brilliant way to raise money for Help a Local Child.” Help a Local Child’s Charity Manager Tracey Allen is thrilled with the funds raised for the charity on the night. “Everyone loves a pub quiz, and it’s a great way to get Southern FM’s clients together for a brilliant evening,” she says. ”Their generosity in supporting the event raises a great sum of money for our charity, so it’s a fun and rewarding evening for all involved.”
Danny Pike (Southern FM)
Jane McDonald at the Brighton Centre Reality television is kind to some people – perhaps, the ones wth proper talent – like Jane McDonald. Living on the high from successful show The Cruise, Jane McDonald is now on our shore, appearing at The Brighton Centre on Saturday 14 March. We have two pairs of tickets to give away to lucky readers. To be in with a chance of winning a pair of tickets to see Jane McDonald, tell us: Which popular television show did Jane McDonald host alongside four others, discussing news, issues and life in general?
The Witches of Eastwick
Skerritt Consultants Midnight Communications
Skerritt Consultants
Donatello Team
Marti Pellow (of Wet Wet Wet fame) stars in a brand new production based on the hit Warner Brothers film, coming to Eastbourne’s Congress Theatre. Set in small town America, three desperate housewives summon up the man of their dreams, when all hell breaks loose – literally – with the arrival of the devil. To be in with a chance of winning a ticket for four people to the show’s opening night on Tuesday 10 March at 7.30pm, just tell us: Who played Darryl Van Horne in the WB film of the same name? See below for entry details. Entrants must be aged 16 or over.
The winners (Churchill Square team) with Southern FM 6 latest 7
To win, email: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the prize you wish to win in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: Monday 9 March
007_LS412_Dani
2/19/09
12:11 PM
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See more at thelatest.co.uk
Dani’s diary Dani thinks us Brits moan too much about the weather and should just enjoy it
Snow moaning In case you missed it, it snowed at the very beginning of February. I prayed and prayed for it to snow when I was little, and when it did we would listen to the radio, full of hope that our school was on the closures list. But it seemed the country was not very welcoming of anything out of the ordinary. Are we all so grumpy that we can’t help but tarnish everything with the ‘bad’ brush? We had the most snow we have had for about 18 years. Many people’s children will never have seen enough snow to be able to make a snowman; they are given the chance to but the nation wants nothing more than for them to be shipped off to school. The three main points on the news were that: a) the schools closed too easily and quickly; b) it is estimated that the economy lost billions; and c) why did the government not better prepare for the weather?
“Had we spent loads on special snow prevention the news would’ve been covered in stories about the government wasting money“ I don’t know about you, but none of the teachers at my school lived next door to the school building. Most of them lived quite a way away from the school and travelling in meant the use of a car, which, in several inches of snow, is dangerous. Also, and I noticed this was never mentioned by any of the people on the news complaining that their children were given the day off because no teachers could make it into the buildings, many teachers are in fact humans too – they can even be so much like the rest of us that they have families and children too. If their own children can’t get to school they will have no choice but to look after them themselves.
It is no secret that the economy is in a bit of trouble at the minute, and there is no denying the fact that the snow caused a lot of people to remain at home for a day or two. But are we really such a nation of moaning bus-queuers that our first thought when we opened our curtains was of the amount of money we could potentially lose as a result of that glorious white stuff? Perhaps that was the case for the bigwigs at the top of business, but I can’t imagine that everyone else in the country instantly thought the same! We only get a meagre eight bank holidays a year, so shouldn’t we be grateful for the odd day off? And if it wasn’t enough to moan about how much money could be potentially lost and the fact that the schools closed, we then have to all moan about the fact that the government hadn’t done anything in order to prepare us for this weather. Short of issuing everyone with snow boots there is little that could have been done to make the situation any different, is there? We were not really expecting as much snow as we got, so what could have been done, short of instructing Mother Nature to move away and leave us snow-free! Gritting doesn’t make any difference when the snow just lies on top of it. Would we really want the government to invest money in snowploughs when we would only need to use them once every couple of decades? I would put money on the fact that, had we spent loads of cash on special snow prevention and clearing things, the news would’ve been covered in stories about the government wasting money. Are we just all incapable of enjoying something as rare as a wonderfully deep snowfall? Why is it that no matter what the weather does we complain? It should come as no surprise to any of us if it rains in the middle of summer; if it rains on Christmas Day. When we have a hot summer people moan it’s too hot, when it is cold people moan it is not a summer at all; when winter is mild it’s a problem, but clearly when it snows it’s a problem too. The weather has been this way for years and years, have we moaned about it for this long?
No way, Beyoncé! Has anyone else seen the music video for Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’ song? And does anyone else feel a bit weird about her choice of outfit? She has an amazing body, but is she revealing a bit too much? The video appears to be just a dance video and doesn’t seem to have any correlation with the lyrics in the song. At one point, during one dance move, you see, in my view, slightly too much, and it doesn’t look attractive. Did she take a leaf out of Madonna’s book and decide the leotard was the best next move? Perhaps she feels the need to appear more sexy? Perhaps she is so comfortable with her body that she doesn’t mind how strange it looks? Or was the sole purpose of the one-armed leotard to get people talking about it, exactly as I am doing now? But on top of the leotard she is wearing a Michael Jacksonstyle metal cuff and glove on one hand. I can’t really put my finger exactly on what it is that freaks me out about this video – I just think it looks a bit bizarre. She could wear a bin liner and look fantastic so why the strange leotard? That particular item of clothing should be reserved for ballerinas only. If you like it you better put some clothes on it!
Comments? Get in touch: dani@thelatest.co.uk
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008_LS412_will/alison
2/19/09
1:15 PM
Page 2
CITYSPEAKS
Swanning around
Man on a mission
Alison Swann confesses that she is not a natural born traveller…
Will Harris gets in touch with his inner caveman as he attempts to create fire
I’ve recently realised I’m not a very good traveller. After being trapped on a bus in the middle of the Atlas mountains for over three hours in the middle of a snowstorm, while the entire male population of a Berber village discussed with our driver, in highly animated and unintelligible Arabic, why we couldn’t continue our journey forward to the Sub-Sahara, I had a massive panic attack. I think it happened about the time I managed to translate the words ‘black’, ice’ and ‘everywhere’. When I was 18, and friends were getting ready to disappear off and live under a fig tree next to a goat herd for a year, or hitchhike up the Amazon doing the proverbial finding of self, I didn’t. Instead, I moved into a very rich person’s house and entertained myself by pretending to look after their children, and had my own adventure in the upper echelons of the British class system. Being the illegitimate child of an actress and an antiques dealer it ticked every box in the Sunday night costume drama fantasy of my life (antiques dealers and actresses being thick on the ground in upper class Alison La La Land). My adventure at that time taught me that people are not all vile just because they are posh, and rich people have the best libraries. That learned me a lot.
It’s time to face it, folks – we’re all doomed. Yes, according to Her Majesty’s press, those of us who weren’t finished off by the apocalyptic snows this month now have to face up to the reality of living in a country increasingly resembling Stalin’s Russia minus the laughs. The tides are rising, the Dow Jones is falling, and those of us caught in the middle are all going to hell in a handbasket. Or at least we would be if our handbaskets hadn’t already been earmarked for carting fluttering armfuls of hyperinflated sterling up and down North Street as we attempt to peck the last few crumbs of capitalism from the shelves of Dixons. What better time, then, with society as we know it teetering on the brink of collapse and the clippety-clop of apocalyptic hoof beats approaching over the horizon, for me to master that oldest and most basic of survival skills: Number 26 – Start a fire. (From scratch; not arson.) “You’re not holding it straight!” Nadia is slumped over a bench in the park, having first been persuaded that the best way to beat a hangover is to be out in the open air, and then relegated to a safe distance when it becomes apparent her tequila breath is creating a fire hazard. She wedges a cigarette between her teeth and lights it from the butt of the one she’s just finished. The thing that Nadia thinks I’m not holding straight is called ‘The Fire Plough’. (It’s more impressive if you say it in the voice of James Earl Jones.) To the uninitiated it just looks like a stick and a length of board with a groove in it, but placed in the hands of a capable hunk of masculinity like myself it instantly becomes The Fire Plough, a powerful tool in the race for survival when the mushroom clouds inevitably
“As I stare at the primeval tools in my hand, I’m gripped by a sudden impulse that some Promethean spark is about to spring forth”
“The taxi driver taking us across town decided to play ‘street kid Pacman,’ just for fun. Yeah!“ This didn’t stop me getting the hell out of dodge a few years later. I just chose to do it in my own way and at my own pace. The obvious reason to travel is to come across the unexpected. I am great at it, when I enjoy it. But I turn into a sulky brat when I don’t. This is obviously where I fall down as a ‘traveller’. Things like the lottery of the drop’n’poop or squat’n’hope for the best toilet, might well add to the colour and fabric of the ‘experience’, but I won’t be happy. After visiting the toilets of a, how shall we say, ‘abandoned by the clean police’ bar in Casablanca, I returned to my chair looking as though I had seen something out of Waking the Dead – before the police got there. But I did enjoy a mid-afternoon race through Marrakech when the taxi driver taking us across town decided to play ‘street kid Pacman’, just for fun. Yeah! One kid was in front of the taxi, scooting on one roller skate – he was cool in the funky Medina for having the one skate. He made the mistake of giving the finger to the taxi driver, this caused the sensation otherwise known as thrusting on the accelerator and the boy/child was very nearly brown bread. I suspect the taxi driver hoped for a tip for the onboard entertainment. I almost gave in, but couldn’t bring myself to be party to the attempted murder of a one rollerskate owning child. I may not be a very good traveller, but it won’t deter me from the adventure. Otherwise, last week I wouldn’t have been in Morocco running away from the monkey men, getting forcibly hand henna’d by fiercesome Fatima; sunbathing on the roof of the last remaining Jewish merchant’s house in Essaouira; naming the cats in my favourite restaurant in town Fred‘n’Ginger and falling in love with Casablanca. The highlight being finding a bar where Moroccan men and women go to socialise and get merry – at the helm of which was Casablanca’s answer to Bette Lynch. Play it again, Sam. 8 latest 7
bloom. And I am holding it straight. It’s her vision that’s skewwhiff. Something skims through the air over my head and lands with a soft plop on the grass a few feet away. I look at it. It’s a Bette Midler CD. “The Best Bette,” nods Nadia sagely. “Angle it into the sun and bosh!” I look up at the thick blanket of dark-grey clouds above the park and, pausing only to flick a glance of disdain in my friend’s direction, redouble my efforts. The Fire Plough will not let its master down. “Look,” I say. “It might help if you got into the spirit a bit more. Can’t you pretend the very world as you know it has shattered into pieces?” “Have you not looked into my eyes this morning?” she groans, flopping back onto the bench and pulling her scarf up to cover her face. As I stare at the primeval tools in my hand, I’m gripped by a sudden impulse that something deeply symbolic is about to happen; that some Promethean spark is about to spring forth from its hiding place deep inside and thus herald mankind’s ability to take whatever this increasingly volatile world can throw at us. Plop. A dark fleck appears on the wood’s surface. Then another. Something cold trickles down the bridge of my nose. Message received and understood. We’re screwed. “Can we go home now please?” says Nadia, her head encased in scarf. “I’d like to start panic buying Zippos.”
For comments and chit chat email letters@thelatest.co.uk
009_LS412_celebcity
2/20/09
10:04 AM
Page 1
AROUNDTOWN
sponsored by
Celebcity with Jo Brooks
Stars off screen EastEnders stars spend downtime in Brighton, Chris Ellison cooks and Rob Brydon jokes about A bit of comic relief Playing at the Dome this Friday is the deliciously funny Rob Brydon. Brydon is currently riding high in the charts with a collaboration with Gavin and Stacey co-star Ruth Jones. The single, in aid of Comic Relief, is a cover of ‘Islands In The Stream’ first recorded by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. Joined on the single at the end is Welsh legend Tom Jones. Speaking in a recent interview about his co-star, Brydon said: “Ruth is a very attractive, beautiful girl. I could fancy Ruth in any way, shape or form. Ruth is fanciable. You certainly get the feeling with Nessa that she could teach you a thing or two. And I like that in a woman.” Rob Brydon’s credits read like a compendium of modern British comedy: Marion & Geoff, Human Remains, I'm Alan Partridge, Black Books, The Keith Barret Show, A Cock and Bull Story, Little Britain, Director's Commentary, Have I Got News For You, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, Q.I. and most recently his highly acclaimed performance as Uncle Bryn in Gavin and Stacey. At the time of writing there were limited tickets available to his show at the Dome on Friday 27 February – call the box office on 01273 709709.
Dot pops round for tea Actor Chris Ellison put his culinary skills to the test by
taking part in cult Channel 4 show, Celebrity Come Dine With Me. Chris was up against PR guru Lynne Franks, star of The Apprentice Ralph, and singer Michelle Gayle. If you haven't watched the show, each celeb has to host a dinner party at their home and cook a three course dinner for the other contestants. Chris chose to cook a chicken and prawn curry and his spicy gamble paid off and he walked away the winner of £1,000 cash for a charity of his choice. The evening was interrupted by a mystery caller to Chris’s home, none other than actress June Brown aka Dot Cotton, who decided to pop round for a cup of tea! The film crew – I am told – were completely surprised but carried on filming and Dot ended up being part of the show!
Dodgy phone call Still on the subject of Burnside – Welsh band Goldie Lookin Chain play the Concorde 2 on Monday 23 March. What is the connection I hear you ask – well there is a part-time member of the band called Burnside who sometimes appears on stage during gigs. A few years ago the band’s management got in touch with me to see if Chris Ellison could record a voice over for the band’s single at the time. The
Michelle Collins
name of the single was ‘Your Mother‘s Got A Penis’. It was quite a strange phone call as you can imagine, asking the real Burnside to voice that line. It was, you will be pleased to know, duly recorded, and yes – it was bleeped!
Michelle’s taste of Italy Spotted actress Michelle Collins enjoying the 20th birthday party at Donatello’s last Tuesday night. Michelle attended the anniversary bash with her mum, dad, sister and daughter Maia.
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com
10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of March 2009 excluding Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers
To comment on any of these stories or send in any news stories email editorial@thelatest.co.uk
latest 7 9
010_LS412_cheeky/stars
2/19/09
4:34 PM
Page 2
ONLY JOKING!
See more at thelatest.co.uk
Bare cheek Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
Top deck or bottom deck? “Too much – the magic bus!” So sang the McVicar-playing, onhis-own-vomitchoking, trout-farmmurdering, furniture-upsidedown-to-the-ceilinggluing, internet-childabuse-allegationsdenying, popular beat combo, The Who. But which deck of the bus is the most magic – top or bottom? We asked a carefully chosen selection of local lackwits…
the front, and pretend to be the driver. Zöe pretends to be a passenger, and then I switch to pretending to be the conductor, and take imaginary fare from her and give her an imaginary ticket. Then we swap, and I pretend to be a passenger who hasn’t got the right change, and Zöe pretends to throw me off the bus. Then we actually get thrown off by the real driver for being under the influence.
Cate Blanchett Bottom deck.
Patsy Palmer Bottom deck over the back wheels.
Jordan Top deck. At the back.
Chris Ellison I always clamber to the top and stand on the roof.
Kevin Rowland I haven’t been on a bus since I saw that film The First Wives’ Club. No – hold on, not First Wives’ Club – Speed. Luke Pritchard Bottom deck – in those seats reserved for the elderly. Fatboy Slim I like to sit on the top deck, right at
Chris Eubank Luggage rack. Simon Fanshawe It’s interesting you should ask, because every year my friends and I hire a vintage Edwardian charabanc, dress in straw boaters and striped blazers, and drive to Bournemouth for the annual fireworks concert by the symphony
Astral Angi
★Finding truth in the stars★
This week Astral is your flighty fashionista
orchestra. We take picnics in hampers and everyone has a wonderful time. This year we’ll be going in a covered bus, as unfortunately last summer we braked rather sharply on the motorway causing me to fly through the air and into the back of a farmer’s wagon carrying pigs to market. I wasn’t too popular at the concert that night I can tell you! Steven Berkoff As a young man I saw myself as something of a rebel, as young men inevitably will, and consequently always sat upstairs smoking, chewing gum, playing my music loudly on a Phillips cassette recorder, spitting on the floor, and yelling “Skoda!” whenever one of the aforementioned unfortunate eastern European cars drove past.
When I left drama school, however, I immediately switched to the bottom deck, where I would sit reading The Telegraph and tut at the antics of youths as they smoked, chewed gum, and played their music loudly. Now that I am of advancing years, and, I regret to say, in the ignominious position of being too old even to play Hitler, I find myself most often in the driver’s seat to supplement my meagre residuals from Octopussy. How the whirligig of Time brings in his revenges… Tickets please! David Van Day Whenever I sits downstairs on the bus I gets to be having funny thoughts about old Mrs Clucklebutt who works in the laundry, and I has to sit in a horse trough of icy water all afternoon.
Ecomania! Bare Cheek’s expert on all matters green, Samantha Greene, advises you on all your eco worries and woes Dear Samantha, I have always been diligent in leaving out all my waste paper for recycling, so I was horrified to hear that – due to a worldwide slump in prices – recycling companies have been unable to sell on the bales they have collected, and have consequently been dumping them in landfill! Would I be doing less harm to the planet by using my waste paper as kindling for my woodburning stove? Charlotte, Hanover
Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!
Dear Charlotte, A good question. If I were you I would save your paper – it might come in handy for fire-lighting when all civilisation has crumbled as a result of global warming, and you are reduced to feasting on spit-roasted human flesh. Or you might prefer to use it to wipe your incontinent, fear-stricken arse when the balloon goes up in about 12 years’ time. Hope this has been of help. Samantha
BARDSLEY’S
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01273 681256
ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)
CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)
LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)
The fashionable Aries is wearing sharp and defined lines this season. Padded shoulders are a must as are thin lapels. How do I know? Trust me, I am your astral fashion guru.
Cancer is the sophisticate when it comes to fashion. Classic lines in smart colours will work for Cancer every time. Avoid fads at all costs and remember to accessorise.
The Libran look is harmonious – harmonious to the point of being nondescript. Black and more black has been your motif, but then so many others do black too. Break out in pink.
CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19). Capricorn woman wears the little black dress, Capricorn man wears a dark navy suit. Safe and dull. Come on get a life! I believe that this year is dungaree year for Capricorns.
TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)
LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)
SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)
AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)
Taureans need to feel comfortable in their clothes right now. Soft fabrics, loose shapes and no tight fastenings. Why not try slipping on a duvet cover and giving that a twirl.
Leo is happiest when looking regal. Ditch the shell suit and break out the purple velvet with ermine trim. Fake ermine can be made with cotton wool and a black marker pen: try it at home.
Scorpios dress like sex gods. It’s all tight and bulging or soft and slinky and don’t let anyone stop you. After all, in these difficult times we all need a good laugh.
Aquarius will claim to be able to wear anything and make it fashionable. Nice in theory but beware: I have an Aquarian friend who wants to be a goth but looks like Blakey from On The Buses.
GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)
VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)
SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)
PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)
Gemini’s look is practical day to evening wear with little change except maybe a splash of powder and a dab of mascara. Boiler suits all round then Geminis.
Virgo fashion is all in the detail, which is why so many Virgos can be found drifting around in white lace broderie anglaise and marabou. Angelic? Who do you think you are kidding.
Sagittarius likes to dress for comfort in fabrics that do not crease or crumple, need no ironing and can be rinsed through in case of an ‘emergency’. Hospital gowns may be the answer.
Pisces likes to blend in, so ideally camouflage – now available in a wide range of colours. You should be able to look a prat almost anywhere. I’m off to Bardsley’s now in fishnets.
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To talk to Astral Angi please email angi@thelatest.co.uk
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INTERVIEW
Top dog Steve Wright talks to actor, writer, director and star of Yasmina Reza’s God of Carnage Richard E Grant “The idea that people behave differently from animals is wishful thinking. Underneath we’re all selfish and don’t give a f**k about anyone else.” Although they’re coming down the phone line in his unmistakable diction, these are not the beliefs of Richard E Grant. No, they are the views of brutish lawyer Alain, Grant’s character in Yasmina Reza’s play God of Carnage, which visits Theatre Royal Brighton next month. Reza is the French playwright known for her 1994 smash-hit Art. That took a withering look at male friendship and cultural snobbery. God of Carnage, a dark and jaundiced comedy, returns to similar themes of rivalry and point scoring among adults – but more explosively. When 11-year-old Ferdinand hits classmate Bruno with a stick in a playground punch-up and knocks out two of his teeth, the combatants’ enlightened parents meet to talk things over. But once the niceties are over and the drink starts flowing, it’s the parents who turn into spoilt brats. The play drew gasps of critical acclaim on its West End debut last year, with Ralph Fiennes and Tamsin Greig among the warring couples. Now it heads out on tour, with Grant reprising Fiennes’s role as Ferdinand's father. “He’s a complete sh*t,” says Grant. “He’s a criminal lawyer who’s trying to defend a drugs company that’s refusing to withdraw a betablocker from the market after two years, even though there have been all sorts of side effects. He’s only concerned about clambering over others, he’s an archetypal alpha male.
“It’s a play about bad marriages. So it’s funny for those watching it, and cruel if you’re the recipient of it” “It’s a play about bad marriages. So it’s funny for those watching it, and cruel if you’re the recipient of it. It’s very well observed, and deals the contrast of public and private faces, sophistication and savagery, which is what makes for good dramatic comedy.” It’s a pessimistic premise, I suggest, if a blackly funny one: if we can’t solve rows between children, what chance have we with bigger conflicts? “Kids fight and make up pretty fast, without things – but in the play, and often in life, this is complicated by adults striving for what’s caring and sharing and what’s right. We have
all these supposed rules and mechanisms for working that out, whereas when it comes down to it, the winner is always whoever’s got the biggest knob or the biggest bank account or muscles.” Our conversation turns to Grant’s early life in colonial Africa. “I realise that my life has been measurably different from the majority of people. I don’t know anybody else who’s had a father stick a gun to their head.” He has a point here. The day when his alcoholic and abusive father levelled a firearm at the 15-year-old Richard Grant Esterhuysen is one of the more retina-searing moments from an unusual childhood, lived in strange gentility in British colonial Swaziland. Grant Snr was the country’s last British Minister of Education before independence; his mother a German/South African ballet teacher. When Richard was nine, he witnessed his mother’s infidelity – the cue for the break up of his parents’ marriage. This eventful childhood was the spur for Wah-Wah, the autobiographical film that Grant made. He says, it was an exercise in catharsis. That childhood was followed by studying at Cape Town University, where Grant founded a multi-racial theatre group. “The theatre was the one place where you could legitimately socialise across the colour line and get paid the same.” After that the Grant career arc gets easier to follow, with roles in over 60 films over the past 25 years. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it’s Wah-Wah that forms Grant’s own career high, after years of trying to get it made. "The fact that it finally got made is little short of a miracle. And to get such critical success was very gratifying, because it’s something that I had wanted to do for a long, long time. If you’ve written and directed something, the amount of input and creativity involved is so much more than just being a hired hand as an actor. And because more than anything, you realise that the problems you have that seemed so personal, are so endemic and common to so many people. The fact that you’re not alone with these things is comforting and reassuring”.” God of Carnage, Theatre Royal Brighton 16–21 March 7:45pm daily, 2:30pm Thurs & Sat. £16/31. 08700 606650.
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LATESTNEWS
7 days of headlines
National lifestyle magazine Coast named Brighton and Hove their best all-round seaside holiday destination. Readers’ votes were used to draw up a shortlist, and the winner was picked by a judging panel led by editor Clare Gogerty. Artists have just a couple of days to enter to be in the running for the Brighton Festival Prize. Artists who feature in the Artists Open Houses Selectors Choice exhibition at the Regency town House in Brunswick Square throughout May will be eligible to compete for two new prizes. These are the Brighton Festival Prize, supported by Latest magazine, and the Visitors Choice Prize, sponsored by VisitBrighton. Anyone who wants to feature in the Selectors Choice exhibition must enter by 26 February. For full details visit www.aoh.org.uk
Festival 2009 Brighton Festival has announced its exciting programme for 2009. This is the first festival for Andrew Comben, new chief executive of Brighton Dome and Festival Ltd and his influence is clear. Mr Comben brought in Turner Prize-winning Anish Kapoor as the festival’s first guest artistic director. Kapoor has designed a wax on paper image for the festival brochure and has created two site-specific works: an installation called Dismemberment of Jeanne D’Arc in the Municipal Market, Circus Street, and Imagined Monochrome (Massage)
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NEWS
Oxygen Bar in West Street, Brighton had its licence suspended for seven days after selling alcohol to under-18s. Staff will be retrained.
Let’s scoot Brighton and Hove city council leader Mary Mears talks community initiatives The sad fact of any tough economic climate is that some people will face the threat of losing their home. It’s this type of reality check that reminds me of why I’m in this job – to do everything I can to help the people of Brighton and Hove. This is why the council is taking a proactive role in helping families keep their homes by identifying those at risk of repossession and offering advice and support. So far we have prevented around 1,500 families from becoming homeless and the number of homeless applications has dropped from around 3,000 to 1,000 a year. In situations where residents do have to move, we will provide help in finding alternative accommodation. We’re also helping residents in sheltered housing to become more independent. You’ve probably heard of the car club, well now we’ve got the ‘scooter club’. The council is sponsoring this new service, which will see residents from sheltered housing schemes in Brighton get out and about by sharing mobile scooters. Around 30 residents will be able to share two new community scooters for outings to shops, visiting friends, or simply taking in the sea air. The scheme, which operates in the same way as a car share, will be free to users. We will also pay for the insurance and servicing. The scooters can be charged up for free in Churchill Square and, in the event of a breakdown, local taxi firm Brighton and Hove City Cabs will drop the scooter and resident back home. Many of our older and disabled tenants are on low incomes and can’t afford their own transport, so this is a good way of providing independence and accessibility.
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2009, an intimate experiential piece exploring perception of colour, at The Basement, Kensington Street. Famous Kapoor works C-Curve, Sky, Mirror, Blood Relations and 1,000 Names will be brought to Brighton. Hofesh Schechter Dance Company will present two newly commissioned works A festival commissioned production of Joe Orton’s The Erpingham Camp will be performed on Brighton Pier and audiences will be invited to take a bus to the outskirts of the city to watch Kurva, a Catalan play about roadside prostitutes. Other highlights include a sense-distorting outdoor performance called Fire, Smoke and Mirrors in Queens Park, inspired by Kapoor’s tenet that “the illusory is more poetically truthful than the real”. Mr Comben said: “Brighton Festival should be at the forefront of the UK and international arts scene. Working this year with Anish has been an enormous privilege.” Brighton Festival 2–24 May. Public booking opens Friday 27 February. Call 01273 709709 or www.brightonfestival.org
Pictures: Diana Frangi
news summary
Cameron visit Conservative Party leader David Cameron paid a visit to Brighton and Hove. As well as taking part in a public question and answer session at the Old Market, Hove, Mr Cameron met local supporters and party members at Stanmer House. The visit to Stanmer House was organised by Mike Weatherley, Conservative prospective parliamentary candidate for Hove and Portslade.
While we’re on the subject of transport, pupils from Carden Primary School have designed eye catching road safety signs encouraging drivers to slow down on a busy Brighton road. The council recently introduced a new 20mph speed limit along County Oak Avenue in Hollingbury, but children from nearby Carden Primary School wanted to make sure drivers took notice. I am also pleased to announce that we’re pledging more than £1.2m over the next two years in extra support for communities, in response to government cuts to key projects. This is in addition to a funding programme for community projects worth £1.6m each year over the next three years that the council has already put in place. We’re also committed to the Tarner and Eastern Road partnerships with a two-year package of support despite the government cutting essential funding for neighbourhood support work in the city. And we’re currently working on a recession relief package to help support the community and voluntary sectors, particularly groups that provide services such as debt advice. So despite the economic climate and government cuts, we’re identifying opportunities to help families keep their homes, providing greater independence to some of our vulnerable residents, encouraging our young people to play a role in our community, and supporting our voluntary groups in their efforts to Residents from Jubilee Court build thriving communities. sheltered housing scheme, where the scooter share We’re doing all this under a initiative was launched. challenging set of circumstances, but the point is we are doing them.
If you would like to comment on these stories please email news@thelatest.co.uk
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2/19/09
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LATESTNEWS Phil Mills reports on the new craze in
town and eco campaigners spreading the message of plastic bags damaging our seas
for the opportunity to let off steam and richer for hearing what other people have to say.” Pam got the idea from Liverpool where there are now around 10 different PIPs venues around the city. So far it has cost nothing – the pub area is free and
of the Brighton Festival Fringe. Speakers from philosophy, religion, psychology and neuroscience will present the case for ‘Who’s to blame for me?’ Pam said: “People have come away from a debate with completely different views on
Beer and beard-stroking There‘s a new craze sweeping Brighton and Hove that has got people thinking. Pubs have always been places to let off steam, chew the cud and right the world’s wrongs, but now the pastimes have been formalised into organised events. And, it seems, never has the thirst for good conversation been so strong since the launch of Philosophy In Pubs (PIPs) in Brighton last year. The idea has grown from strength to strength and now, every month, around 40 people turn up to the Park View pub in Preston Drove to ponder the meaning of life or discuss different topics over a pint. People from all walks of life – professionals, unemployed, the retired, and tradespeople – are taking part, and it is now so popular that four PIPS meets have been organised for the Brighton Festival Fringe. Few taking part have any academic background but they all enjoy discussing their ideas and thoughts and learning from each other. PIPs meet on the second Sunday of every month, downstairs in the pub at 7 pm.
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NEWS
Topics so far discussed include: ‘What is happiness, “What is justice?’, ‘Cheating’ and ‘Racial prejudice’.
“Every month around 40 people turn up to the Park View pub on Preston Drove to ponder the meaning of life or discuss different topics over a pint” Organiser, Pam Lelliott, said: “Traditionally, pubs are the place to discuss some of the bigger issues in life and, believe me, that is exactly what we do. It is wonderful to see so many people from different backgrounds and ages locked in lively debate trying to understand the bigger issues of life. Without doubt most of us finish the evening feeling better
Dirty beach Anti-plastic bag campaigners took advantage of the snowy weather to get their message across. This idea on Brighton beach was by Chloe Hanks who founded the lobby group plasticbagfreebrighton.co.uk. Meanwhile, fellow campaigner Lou McCurdy is, through art work in local schools, spreading the word on how plastics are polluting the world’s seas and beaches. Ms McCurdy runs one-day workshops entitled ‘More Plastic than Plankton’ to show the damage caused by the seven billion tonnes of plastic that are dropped into the oceans every year. Plastic rubbish in the sea and
publicity has been through word of mouth. Encouraged by the success Pam and her band of facilitators have decided to host four Sunday discussions through May as part
issues, while others have succeeded in enlightening others and bringing them round to their way of thinking.” The next PIPS meeting on 8 March will discuss: ‘Is political correctness the new method of censorship?’ For more details about PIPS go to www.pips-brighton.org.uk or email brightonpips@hotmail.co.uk or telephone 07979852750.
on beaches has become a major environmental issue and Brighton children are being encouraged to get involved through her workshops.She has created ‘plankton panels’ made from plastic rubbish collected on local beaches and Brighton Fringe are hoping to hold an exhibition to show the work. Lou said: “What I need right now is a venue and I’m hoping, given the current economic climate, that someone could let us use an empty shop in the North Laine area or even in the city centre.” Contact martin.mccurdy@ntlworld.com.
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014_LS412_letters/sport
2/20/09
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LATEST LETTERS&SPORT
Letters
Send your comments to letters@thelatest.co.uk
Latest Sport Round ups and rumblings from the Latest Sports Bunker
Money for nothing Latest Sport’s Joe Curtin looks at how the problems in the economy might hit football
Volunteers needed Cancer Research UK is looking for volunteers to help its Brighton and Hove committee raise money for the charity’s lifesaving research work. The Brighton and Hove committee has been running fundraising events since 1953 and so far the volunteers have notched up more than £935,000. They are desperate to reach the £1million mark. But, over time, the size of the committee has dwindled and they are now searching for new recruits to join the exciting and fulfilling fundraising and awareness efforts across the city. Working alongside a dedicated member of staff, the group will look at rejuvenating the activities of Cancer Research UK and starting some innovative fundraising events. Among potential future plans are a great Christmas pudding race – an hilarious It’s A Knockout-style race of teams in fancy dress carrying Christmas puddings and an open water swim on Brighton seafront. Cancer Research UK is the world’s leading charity dedicated to cancer research. We have discovered new ways of beating cancer that together have saved hundreds of thousands of lives across the world. If any of your readers would be interested in being part of this fantastic fundraising group, please contact me on: 07918 652 670 or ryan.bromley@cancer.org.uk Yours sincerely, Ryan Bromley, area volunteer manager, Cancer Research UK
Thanks for the review I’m just emailing to thank Rachel Pegg for her recent review of my debut novel, Living in Perhaps. Not only was it a lovely positive review, but you picked up the key themes I was hoping to get across, about identity and opportunity. You sound like my ideal reader... Let’s hope your review finds me a few more. Kind regards, Julia Widdows
You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
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There is that Chinese curse: ‘May you live in interesting times’. And so, as we live through these interesting times, and as the government throws money at the banking system that got us into this mess, we must remember that football clubs have been run on the same system of shortsighted gain and unprecedented greed. The Premier League is based on the model of borrow and bet: borrow for now and bet on the future. The bets haven’t come in – how could they? Richard Scudamore’s model for football has bankrupted football as the bankers have bankrupted countries. We in the Basement have berated Scudamore for some time now and his legacy is fast approaching.
fantastically named American, Randy Lerner: hence, with O’Neill, Villa’s great season. Anyone remember Southampton? A team that was in the top flight for 27 years and is now in severe financial trouble despite selling, among many other quality players, James Beattie, Kevin Phillips, and Peter Crouch alone for £7million, and with parts of St Mary’s closed off to reduce costs. Where’s the money gone? They are in a huge battle for survival, football-wise and financially, at the foot of the Championship against another big club in trouble, Charlton Athletic. Portsmouth, the FA Cup holders, as we know with Gaydamak’s fireselling, are in very real trouble, something
“We will without drastic action soon see clubs die and communities suffering as a result“ Yes, Manchester United are arguably the best team in Europe, and Abramovich has stuck by Chelsea despite many contrary rumours (at least someone loves them). Yes, Arsenal can be said to have been too cautious in the market, and Manchester City are the richest club in the world. (Manchester City, the club enabled by Scudamore to invite an alleged human rights criminal, Thaksin Shinawatra, to its helm.) Liverpool’s title challenge decline, notwithstanding injuries and Man U’s strength, can be put down to the Mexican stand-off in the Reds boardroom between Gillett and Hicks – two Americans here for a quick buck that backfired – the disgraceful Rick Parry, and Rafael Benítez. To quote the great Bill Shankly: “At a football club, there’s a holy trinity – the players, the manager and the supporters. Directors don’t come into it. They are only there to sign the cheques.” Something Fergie understands – as does the
Newcastle and West Ham fans have been living with for a while. Even though, in this era of globalisation, football clubs have lost touch with their working class roots, football is interwoven with the lives of its fans and the FA needs to act soon. In the last great financial catastrophe, Hollywood created its ‘Golden Age’, but with the government spending our money on bailing out the banks and the banks not lending, we will, disastrously and without drastic action, soon see proud clubs die and communities suffering as a result. Football is not a commodity to be bought and sold for profit; it is at the very heart of people’s lives and their communities. As Shankly said: “The socialism I believe in is everybody working for the same goal and everybody having a share in the rewards. That’s how I see football, that’s how I see life.” His legacy is the very lifeblood of football; Scudamore’s may well be its death knell.
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2/20/09
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COVERSTORY
In the frame Andrew Kay talks to James Morgan, optometrist and owner of David Clulow in Brighton As a recent convert to full-time spectacle wearing I was fascinated to meet James Morgan, the optometrist and man behind David Clulow here in Brighton. James has been in the business for 15 years and studied for his degree at Aston University. ‘‘I started in normal practice, seeing 20 people a day, with not enough time to talk to people about their eyes. I didn’t enjoy that. When I joined David Clulow I realised it doesn’t have to be like that. I was based at the Covent Garden branch, a fantastic place to work. Eventually I moved to the Hampstead branch and I was there for ten years. It was very much a community practice but with the ‘David Clulow experience‘. I still have clients who come to me from Hampstead, people like continuity – and Brighton is a great day out for them too.’’ The business here in Brighton is a joint venture between David Clulow and James. ‘‘I had been working for David Clulow for 11 years when I came to Brighton for a visit and immediately thought what a great place, it was perfect for David Clulow. It took two years to find the location, somewhere where people who are shopping put style very high on their list. East Street was ideal. So I packed up and moved down, both my home and business. I had wanted to move out of London and live by the sea.’’ What James has to offer is a great combination of expertise and style. He is able to offer excellent healthcare for eyes and expert advice on style. ‘‘I have the support of the David Clulow brand and the range of frames that they carry and, as an independent, I have a very personal hands-on approach. I have the time to really look after every client on a personal level and at every stage of the experience, from testing and prescribing through to choosing frames, fitting and after care. Also by being connected to a large company I am able to constantly update my stock. I am very lucky and we get the very latest in both design and technology. We stock most of the top end fashion-led labels:
Lindberg, Mark Jacobs, Starck, Polo Ralph Lauren, Dolce & Gabbana… and I have stocked Tom Davies from the start.’’ James hints that in Hampstead he had lots of celebrity clients, I ask for names but have to settle for being impressed at his discretion Now open for two years, James and his team of qualified staff will help you through the whole process, from eye testing and eye care, to finding the right frame – they also do contact lenses.
Tom Davies bespoke I was surprised to discover that there is such a thing as bespoke spectacles, silly really as you can have almost anything made-to-measure. James immediately seized the opportunity to show me the new concept for bespoke spectacle design that Tom Davies has launched in a select number of opticians, globally. Immediately I am hooked. As a designer I am seduced by the smart boxes that hold a huge selection of materials, shapes and colours to choose from. I know straight away that I have to at least look at the options. It’s a wonderfully liberating feeling, being able to choose the shape, colour and fabric. James then inputs the details into the computer and in a matter of moments all my choices are put together in a sketch on screen. I am delighted with the result but my happiness is premature. We have – it seems – only just started. Content with the basics we are now able to tweak the design in tiny increments, adjusting the width and height here, changing an angle there, or the depth of a curve. The process is totally involving and I am loving every minute, but I am also very pleased that I have James and his expertise at hand. His advice is good and I do need someone to curb my tendency to excess from time to time.
“If the devil is in the detail then Tom Davies make devilishly clever spectacles” “There is an art to choosing frames. Does it fit the face and does it fit the person? I would rather people don’t buy if they cant find what is right. Some of the high fashion frames can be of the moment and may date but true spectacle designers, like Tom Davies, are about classic ideas but with exciting details.’’ James is a perfectionist with a pride in what he sells and produces. ‘‘In two years there have been no complaints, we try as hard as we can to make everything as good as possible. We make glasses that we can be proud of.’’ Glasses start at £99 inclusive of frame and lenses and rise to £500 inclusive of frame and lenses. They also hold a good children’s range Tom Davies ready-to-wear range starts at £175 for the frames and rises to £249, custom-made frames start at £299 and totally bespoke frames from £349. David Clulow, 25 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HL. Call 012737 37578 brighton@davidclulow.com
About an hour on and I am looking at a sketch of a very fine pair of specs. Believing that the process is done, I know I have to have them, but we are still not finished. James explains that what we have created will now be sent to the Tom Davies studio, where a professional designer will look at the drawing and make a few adjustments too. 24 hours later I will be sent three images of me wearing three differing designs. One will be the base shape in the colours and materials that I have chosen. The second is the modified design that I have prepared and finally there will be the studios suggestion. Then, and only then, do you choose. You can even email the designs to all your friends and they can vote for their favourite online. Before I leave, James takes pictures of me without glasses and some wearing calibrated frames. He also takes accurate measurements of a surprising number of things about my head. When they say made-tomeasure they really mean it. The next day the designs arrive. I like what I have created but concede that Tom Davies have made changes that are a real improvement. I click the button and they are ordered. Now it’s a short waiting game before I go along for final fittings and the finished creation. Being a rather eccentric dresser at the best of times I am delighted that my new glasses will be unique; noone else will have a pair like them, cobalt blue titanium with clear perspex arms and clever hinges. If, as they say, the devil is in the detail, then Tom Davies make devilishly clever spectacles.
£10 sight test for all Latest 7 readers along with £45 discount on complete spectacles and 10% discount on complete sunglasses (not in conjunction with any other offer) Offer valid until 30 April 2009.
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016_LS412_hotlist
2/19/09
10:56 AM
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LATESTHOTLIST
See more at thelatest.co.uk
latest hot
LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS
RESTAURANTS BRITISH AND MODERN EUROPEAN Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and an excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, 01273 681256
Chimney House Recently opened with a stylish and cosy new interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu, includes locally-caught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a bowl of soup and glass of wine at lunchtime or a hearty three-course dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton, BN1 5DF, 01273 556708 www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
central open fire roars. In summer, soak up the sun on the pretty terrace. The warm atmosphere and good value pricing make this a popular local haunt. 59 Middle Street, Brighton, 01273 719000 www.coachhousebrighton.com
Preston Park Tavern A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix in this delightful familyfriendly pub – a hidden gem, which has remained busy and buzzy through word of mouth only since it opened two years ago. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271 www.prestonparktavern.co.uk
Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant serving excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. From a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game and desserts, and a wine list full of affordable treats. Use the terrace when the weather is warm or the dining room for a treat. 1 Buckingham Place, Brighton, 01273 885555, www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk
Sam’s of Brighton Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a freerange poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter. 1 Paston Place, Brighton, 01273 676222 www.samsofbrighton.co.uk
The Coach House
CHINESE Gars Restaurant
Friendly restaurant bar in the city centre serving an excellent range of home-cooked food, separate evening and lunch menus, and Sunday roasts. Great mussels, steaks, soups and a good wine list. In the winter, a
Stunningly refurbished, this old Brighton favourite has attained a new lease of life. An exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart
service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room and enjoy the glamour of it all. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321 www.gars.co.uk
FRENCH The Arrogant Frog Early Frog is available Tuesday to Friday evenings at £20/13.95 between noon and 1pm. In the evening, buy one dish from the á la carte menu, get 50 per cent off the second main course (Tuesday to Thursdays). Plat du jour at £7.95/9.95. Enjoy a lunchtime bowl of homemade soup with French bread for only £4.95. Gourmet evening on the third Thursday of every month, £49.50 including service for six courses and six glasses of wine. 119 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721488, www.thearrogantfrog.com
Cocoa French patisserie on Queen’s Road. Everything is prepared each morning on the premises by their French gourmet pastry chef. Front of house serves coffee, cinnamon hot chocolate or homemade lime ice tea, amongst others. Seating by a mural of the roofs of Paris is relaxing and bohemian. A recent French visitor said: ”The best croissant in Brighton, better than any I found in Paris!” 48 Queen’s Road, Brighton. 01273 777412
New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional homemade French cuisine. A hidden gem and very reasonable too! Daily evening menu of twocourses £10.50, three-courses £12.50 on weekdays, and two-courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 on Friday and Saturday. À la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6–10pm. 10-11 New Steine, Brighton, 01273 681546 or 695415
ITALIAN Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Fat Leo The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu which is utterly affordable with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95. 16-17 Market Street, Brighton, 01273 325135
THAI Sabai Filled with stylish Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui and the restaurants of Bangkok. Browse the extensive menu of unique dishes, sample a cocktail or a bottle of wine from the comprehensive wine list. Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners. Enjoy – :“Sanuk” 165-169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030 www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com
COFFEE SHOPS
L’Églisese
Spinelli Coffee
Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the twocourse lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–5pm at £11.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk, info@legliserestaurant.co.uk
Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience’. Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi or just relax. In Kemp Town Village, just off St George’s Road and College Road. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
INDIAN Chaula’s This place is unlike other Indian restaurants – Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat, and a ‘light bites’ menu. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle
The Chimney House
Seafood Pot or Duck Egg Masala. 42 Meeting House Lane, 01273 323824 www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
Indian bistro serving stunning food. Relaxed with an informal feel, the emphasis is authentic Indian and Nepalese dishes using local and organic produce. Daytime menu offers Indian street food, Thalis and Masala Dosa, a selection of beautiful loose teas and cakes and sweetmeats. For dinner Feast on a Spiced Tandoor Baked Shoulder of Lamb, Moilly
Moksha Caffe Brighton Moksha is Brighton’s ultimate independent café, with their own blend of locally roasted coffee made by highly trained baristas. An excellent range of homemade cakes and sandwiches all made on site with favourites like battenburg, quiches and gluten-free options. Spacious interior and works of local artists. Child friendly, with disabled access and free WIFI. Free live music or comedy every Saturday night. Moksha Caffe, 4-5 York Place. 01273 248890
BARS Koba Bar and Club Koba hosts a happy hour in the front bar between 5-7pm all week. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has been nominated in the top ten bars/clubs in the UK by The Independent. Good beers, a sensible wine list, and of course, champagne for special occasions (or just for the love of it). The perfect venue for a private party or an atmospheric night out. Koba, 135 Western The Chilli Pickle
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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD&DRINK
Like a virgin Andrew Kay takes a party of sceptics on an oyster safari across Brighton and Hove I came to oysters fairly late in life. I was 18 and had gone to Guernsey to work in a hotel. It was there that I ate my first lobster and my first oyster. Lobster is okay, not as good as crab in my book, but oysters were and are unlike any other food. I can see why people are scared of oysters. They’re not pretty, they are eaten live – some of the time, and they’re not cheap. There are misconceptions too; they’re not fishy, not slimy and not best when simply swallowed. But I accept that they are not the easiest dish. Anyway, about a year ago I was at the Sussex Food and Drink Awards. We had a few drinks and Sussex food expert Hilary Knight admitted that she did not like oysters. Not only that but she also felt that she was missing out on something rather special. I promised that I would take her out to get to grip with the issue and a year on I did just that. Along the way Paula Seager, another foodie, admitted that she too was not a lover but felt she might be missing out and Brian Gilbert, a banker specialising in farming, was yet another sceptic. Amongst oyster haters there is a definite thought that they are akin to the emperor’s new clothes. Believe that if you will. My task was to take them on a journey to find their own truth, after all, you can take a horse to water… Given the task in hand, I called on Rob Shenton the man behind Due South, Riddle and Finns and the new Riddeli. A keen oyster man, he was the ideal accomplice and also had access to some of the finest oysters. On the day, I met the virgins at myhotel for a quick drink and briefing, and at seven o’clock we started on our epic journey. Rob greeted us at Riddle and Finns and asked us what we would like to drink. Brian asked
Next we tackled some Jersey oysters, a different shape and perhaps a little meatier. I loved them, that tangible hit of zinc, that fresh sea breeze on the tongue, we oyster lovers can get pretty poetic and the novices were starting to join in, even Brian. By the third round he was hooked, and hardly surprising as Rob had produced a set of natives. Now natives are the most highly prized of all oysters, seasonal and very traditional. They are smaller, the shell is round, like the Tenniel drawings of oysters in the Alice books, and the flavour is simply the best, as is the texture. Brian, the slowest to take up the mantle on this evangelical journey was hooked. Suddenly he got it. It was a road to Damascus moment and we were all there to join in. Raw oysters done with we headed across town for stage two of our safari. In the freezing wind we braved the lower promenade to find the warm interior of Due South, Rob’s flagship restaurant and perhaps the first to really champion (and live by) the promise of seasonal and local food. Here we were to have some cooked oysters. Rob produced a bottle of sparkling wine from Plumpton that is currently knocking spots off French champagnes in competitions. The chef had been left to his own devices, he could have gone traditional, Rockefeller and the like, but he had his own ideas. And very good ideas they were too. Oyster four was poached in champagne and served on the shell in a slick of shiny hollandaise. Classic and classy, they got a universal thumbs up. Oyster five was a far more edgy concept, with elements of a Bloody Mary, sour cream and pearls of spiced tomato essence. I actually wanted people to not want theirs but having converted them there was little chance of that. Oyster six was a masterful combination of poached oyster on a bed of chicken infused noodles topped with a slice of fluffy chicken liver parfait – bliss, really. So there we were, a happy band of new recruits, no longer virgins but full blooded oyster lovers. Of course, tackling them in this way made perfect sense – a tutored experience with a wide range of samples made it both fun and educational – and I suggest you get together with a few friends to do the same; six people sharing six oysters, in six different ways. Call Riddle and Finns to find out if they can help. Full of oysters we ended our evening discussing them over supper at the newly opened Riddeli in Hove but more of that in two weeks time. Riddle and Finns, 12 Meeting House Lane, Brighton BN1 1HB. Call 01273 323008 www.riddleandfinns.co.uk. Due South, 139 Kings Road Arches, Brighton, BN1 2FN. Call 01273 821218 www.duesouth.co.uk
Bramptons Butchers Ltd
‘‘Due South restaurant was perhaps the first to really champion seasonal and local food’’ what was the appropriate accompaniment and Rob, to my delight said champagne. It is, although I am equally fond of black velvet to ease the little marvels down. First we dispensed with the myths, swallow or chew? Chew of course. Tabasco or shallot vinegar? Well I reckon Tabasco kills the flavour, but each to their own, I suggested however, that as novices, Tabasco was not good if they wanted to get to grips with the flavour. Then, Rob tackled the matter of the liquor. Now to real oyster fans the liquid in which the beast sits is much prized, but to novices it may seem a little odd. He suggested that rather than slurping, they used a fork. I was definitely going to slurp. Finally, when? Well these days there are oysters available all year round and any reputable vendor will know which ones to stock. Rob then revealed a platter of oysters as nature intended, freshly shucked and sitting on a bed of crushed ice. There were three kinds and we started with long shelled Scottish Rock. These are farmed in cages and delivered south in tankers of loch water. We tucked in. The air of apprehension started to dissolve. Everyone smiled, everyone chewed and everyone swallowed. We were over the first hurdle and no one had fallen. What did they think? Delicious was the almost united reply, although Brian was still unsure.
If you would like to comment on this story please email andrew@thelatest.co.uk
Welcome to Bramptons Butchers
114 St. Georges Road, Brighton, Sussex, BN2 1EA Located in the heart of Kemp Town, Brighton, in a road that has many other specialised shops. Indeed, we feel no other road like it exists in Brighton!
Tel: 01273 682 611 Opening Hours Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday: 7:00am - 5:00pm Wednesday: 7:00am - 1:00pm Saturday: 6:30am - 1:30pm Sunday: Closed latest 7 17
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SUNDAYROASTS
Groovy
gravy
Sunday roasts, the most traditional Brit dish, heart warming, stomach filling and exhausting – why not cut to the chase and eat out? Shop, shop, shop; chop, chop, chop; butter, baste, bubble, boil, stir, strain and serve. Yes, Sunday lunch might seem like a simple meal, but there’s a lot of preparation, a lot of tending and the age old issue of getting it all to the table at the same time. It’s exhausting writing it down let alone actually cooking it. And I haven’t mentioned the odd vegetarian, the person who can’t eat wheat… No, forget it and book Sunday lunch in a pub or restaurant and let them take the strain. You can all choose what you want, the people with dietary requirements become someone else’s problem and let’s face it – there’s no washing-up to be done after. Sunday roasts come at all levels, from the bargain basic to the gorgeous gourmet, take your choice, keep it keen or splash out on a real treat. But remember, the places with great reputations book up early and sell out as quickly, so make sure you call for a table in advance.
French-style Sunday L’Église is a fantastic family run French restaurant serving beautiful homemade French food in the heart of Hove. On Sundays, as well as the regular a la carte menu, they serve a traditional roast using only local produce. Their roasts are second to none because of the delicious duck fat roasted vegetables, with a French twist added to the gravy; combined with a succulent leg of lamb or slow-roasted pork belly, making these a must-have Sunday treat! They also serve a hearty rib of beef for two with duck fat chips, salad and béarnaise sauce. The a la carte menu includes some French classics such as soupe de poisson and homemade terrine plus duck confit and a beautiful French steak frites, followed with a perfect crème brulée or a plate of farmhouse cheeses. Enjoy a truly French Sunday experience! L’Église, 196 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2DJ. Call 01273 220868 info@legliserestaurant.co.uk
Family friendly Preston Park Tavern is a bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix for Sunday lunch in this delightful family-friendly pub. It’s a hidden gem, which has remained busy and buzzy through word of mouth only since it opened two years ago. A wholesome and hearty Sunday lunch menu, created by head chef Jason Tidy, includes scrumptious starters and a choice of two meat and one vegetarian roasts, using Sussex ingredients. A couple of tasty locally-caught fish dishes are also available. Children can order from the kid’s menu or small portions of most main courses and enjoy colouring in and puzzles with crayons. Preston Park Tavern, 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF. Call 01273 542271 www.prestonparktavern.co.uk latest 7 19
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Newly-opened and refurbished with stylish and cosy interior Hearty, wholesome modern British menu Fresh, seasonal and locally sourced ingredients Freshly cooked children’s menu All wines available by the glass or bottle
Lunch & dinner served Tuesday to Saturday Sunday lunch from 12-6 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton, BN1 5DF 01273 556708 www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
Bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways Fresh, seasonal, locally-sourced food cooked in our open kitchen Freshly cooked children’s menu All wines available by the glass or bottle Food served 7 days a week 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF 01273 542271 www.prestonparktavern.co.uk
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SUNDAYROASTS
Hearty and wholesome
Sea view Sunday
Recently opened with a stylish and cosy new interior and excellent modern British food, the Chimney House family pub in Seven Dials offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty Sunday lunch menu includes scrumptious starters and roast options of two meat and one vegetarian, as well as a couple of tasty fish dishes. New head chef George Stenning is dedicated to using succulent Sussex ingredients, including locally-caught fish and locally reared meat, and there is an impressive wine list with good beers to support it. A kid’s menu and small portions of main courses are available, along with crayons and colouring pictures, at this special new style food pub. Chimney House, 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton, BN1 5DF. Call 01273 556708. www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
Showcasing the best of British cooking with some Mediterranean influences, Terraces Bar and Grill enjoys an unbeatable setting on the seafront. There are stunning views from the terrace, where customers can enjoy anything from a glass of wine or cup of coffee to a snack or full meal. The menu runs from small plates such as: super sandwiches, mezze platter, baked camembert to seafood dishes (traditional fish and chips and oysters) and meaty main courses typified by gourmet burgers, cornfed chicken and rib-eye steak. Sunday lunch brings a selection of roasts served with all the trimmings. A spacious, self-contained area on the lower level is available for hire for parties, wedding ceremonies/receptions, corporate events, or business meetings, plus free wireless broadband is on hand and the area can cater for groups of ten to 240. Terraces Bar & Grill, Unit 8, Madeira Drive, Brighton, BN2 1PS. Call 01273 570526. enquiries@the-terraces.co.uk
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HEALTH
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See more health tips at www.thelatest.co.uk/wave
Face first Zara Baker turns to the experienced team at Brighton Laser Clinic on a quest for skin rejuvenation Like many of us, my complexion is far from perfect. Tinted moisturiser and foundation can disguise imperfections, but they always remained underneath the surface. For me, there’s some acne scarring and the troublesome chicken pox marks from when I picked at them as a child. Daily wear and tear, environmental stresses, a small burst blood vessel from inner stresses and a not so even skintone. Yes, other people may not notice it like I do, but it’s there and there is a solution. My journey began at Brighton Laser Clinic on Marine Parade, with a consultation with director Janet McConnon. People from all walks of life and all ages (20s upwards) can benefit from the DermaQuest skin rejuvenation package, exclusive in Brighton to Brighton Laser Clinic. The package is for those who don’t want surgery or harsher chemical peels to get perfect skin. When combined with other treatments such as Botox or the gentler Jan Marini chemical peels, the skin surface can be significantly improved. Is skin rejuvenation treatment for you? Well, I’ve already mentioned the broad age spectrum and the conditions it can help. Skin tone and texture can be improved, skin is lifted and hydrated and pigmentation evened out. For older people, sun or age spots, fine lines and wrinkles and thread veins can be treated, with improvements visible after the very first treatment. A clearer, brighter complexion is the result, and can mean increased confidence and a face ready for a close-up. How does skin rejuvenation work? Unlike facials, which can refresh tired skin by working on the surface, the DermaQuest package works deeper under the skin, for a complete and restored complexion.
“A clearer, brighter complexion is the result, and can mean increased confidence” Treatment covers a ten to 12 week period, starting with a consultation and patch test. A two-week DermaQuest prep kit is used: a gentle cleanser, B12 serum, collagen activating serum, reviving cream and the all-important SPF moisturiser. The science behind it is the serum, which works into the skin unlike a cream which covers the surface and the collagen activating cream, which helps lift the skin as the skin’s own collagen and elastin decreases with age. The first treatment is a pumpkin facial (there are various types available, suited for acne prone skin and older skin) – all the nutrients and goodness of pumpkin applied to the skin. The face was first cleansed and a primer applied, so skin felt squeaky clean. The pumpkin facial was then applied with a brush, a special protective balm keeping it off lips and eyebrows. Immediately, my face felt hot and tingling where the brush was applied, but the nurses had all experienced the treatment themselves and explained the sensations to me. This was normal, and as mentioned, this isn’t a chemical peel, and it was nice to feel the product really doing something. Neutraliser was on hand and my nurse, Sandie, watched my skin’s reaction the whole time. The product actually neutralises itself after about six minutes (being left on for ten minutes in total). The hotness suddenly eased up and a cool towel and soothing gel was then applied. There is no downtime with this treatment. Skin was left with a glow and rosie across the cheeks and chin, where it had really worked in. Aside from that, tinted moisturiser was applied and I was good to go. A few days later, peeling is experienced, as the old skin gives way to reveal a clear, fresh new layer. Again, this isn’t a scary experience where you can’t venture outside for days. It’s not hugely noticeable, only to you. Keep moisturiser on hand and cleanse away the dead skin and the skin is left brighter and rejuvenated. And that’s just the first part. To come is the IPL treatment, a controlled burst of laser light that enhances and improves the complexion. The sensation is that of a pinprick, which I’ve already experienced in the initial patch test. A pin-prick sensation in my quest for better skin? I can think of things a whole lot worse. For now, I’m just excited about the next stage. Watch this space. Brighton Laser Clinic, 56a Marine Parade, Brighton, call 01273 686869. 22 latest 7
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latest listings Your weekly guide to what’s on
24 February – 2 March
Under review Here’s our round up of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.thelatest.co.uk Flawless delivery and an irresistibly likable frontman on the other hand, is clearly the secret to their success as performers. ‘A pleasing mix of new and old’ describes their set as much as it does their audience. Keane – but more 80s. The Brighton Centre, 10 February ✌✌✌✌ Jenny Taylor
Keane In 2004, three fresh-faced lads from Sussex debuted with their anthemic pop ballads in a market overwhelmed by heavy weights such as Radiohead and Coldplay. Touring their third album Perfect Symmetry in 2009, do we expect a reinvention or more of the same? Like any band with half a brain for marketing, it’s a bit of both. There is something for everyone here, which in a sense, could be the album’s downfall.
The Treason Show Some say satire exists to lay bare the evils and idiocies of the powers-that-be, at least that’s what you’d expect from a ‘topical sketch show’ with ‘treason’ in the title. However, it’s hard to imagine even the most draconian of despots bothering to dish out a death sentence in response to any of tonight’s jokes – other than in the interests of quality control. I was wondering who this curious brand of laissez-faire satire might appeal to, when suddenly the cross-hairs switched direction and the otherwise muted audience erupted with laughter for a ‘Miss Whitehawk’ beauty contest. I’m not sure what’s worse, unreserved class snobbery or third-hand chav gags. Komedia, 13 February ✌✌ Ben Bailey
HOT REVIEW OF THE WEEK Three Vanek Plays by Vaclav Havel Otherplace Productions presented three one-act plays all featuring the playwright’s alter ego Vanek, meticulously played here by Lloyd Ryan Thomas. The plays show life under communism in Czechoslovakia but have wider agendas of class, materialism and conformity. The themes are linked to the impact on ordinary people by state-sponsored oppression. While this sounds heavy, the plays themselves are funny, verging on hilarious, with shades of absurdism and the production is admirably accessible. Acting is very strong throughout and special mention must go to Jeremy Pike who not only directed but, due to illness, played two characters as well. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 11 February ✌✌✌✌
Marlena Shaw The Old Market was almost full and when Marlena stepped onto the stage the 350 plus audience erupted. Marlena looked stunning and her voice was as versatile as ever, treating us to a range of jazz, soul, rhythm and blues. Highlights were ‘I Feel Like Making Love’, jazz/latin with a stunning solo from the drummer; from the 60s ‘Have Mercy On Me’, and ‘Call It Stormy Monday’ with an outstanding solo from the saxophonist. ‘Go Away Little Boy’ was a combination of great vocals and comic storytelling. Old Market Brighton, 26 January ✌✌✌✌
Patrick O’Donnell, The Bellis Gallery p28
25 Stage Gethsemane reviewed and Tamsin Greig interviewed; listings
26 Film Back to school with French drama The Class
Kath Newman
Totally Looped With an excellent cast that included Phill Jupitus, Marcus Brigstocke, Natalie Haverstock and two from the critically acclaimed Penny Dreadful sketch group, we were expecting something special. The warm up improvisation sketches showed us a taste of the versatility and talents of this group, promising much and with a lovely physicality. But when the films were wheeled out to have their dialogue dubbed by the improvisers, the format felt tethered in its limitations, more so, as the variety in formats demonstrated by the introduction was missing. Entertaining, but it would be easy to find locallysourced improv just as good at a fraction of the £18 price tag. Theatre Royal, Brighton, 12 February ✌✌✌
Simon Plotkin
For complete and comprehensive listings go to thelatest.co.uk
Victoria Nangle
28 Comedy Maintain good manners in the pursuit of giggles
28 Art New to the scene: The Bellis Gallery; listings
29 Events & kids Lilac rescue work day
29 Books Queer Writing South’s event; listings
30 Music F**ked Up join the Shred Yr Face Tour; reviews; news; listings
33 Clubs Seven nights of play with highlights of the best
34 Gay Latest news; listings
36 Television Dani’s view: Dancing On Ice, TV film highlights and seven-day listings
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STAGE
Lies, lies, lies Andrew Kay meets Tamsin Greig and the cast of Gethsemane at The National Theatre The stage at the Cottesloe is a harsh white-panelled perspex box. It stars, a lone figure talking about belief, about faith, blackout. It’s the first of a series of speeches to the audience. Suddenly there is pulsing music, classical or is it funk? And the white walls are throbbing with film images of a busy city at night, car lights, noise. David Hare’s Gethsemane revolves around a group of politicians, manipulators, the Prime Minister, the Home Secretary, a tycoon, his aide, a journalist, an ex civil servant, his wife a teacher and a young woman, the daughter of the home secretary – or is she a young girl? The story is one of political intrigue, party funding, scandal and spin in public life. There is no doubt that Hare has taken real events and manipulated them into his drama, changing them enough to avoid litigation and leaving enough to let the audience know who and what he is attacking. Manipulation is the name of the game. Who is pulling whose strings, who actually has the power? I leave the theatre wondering why anyone would want that kind of power, that sort of position, with all of the filth that
comes with it. Gethsemane is a play about power, truths and lies. It’s also about faith, religious or other, and about how our faith can be put to trial. Brilliantly staged, it is a provocative work carried off by an accomplished cast all of whom have a vital voice, there are no walk on parts here. After the show I meet with the cast who tell me more about that and the process of making this piece of theatre. After a demanding performance, and with a second show to follow I am amazed at how animated the cast are. Tamsin Greig, who plays the Home Secretary, explains the process of making the play ‘‘David Hare gives the cast all the clues to our characters in the script but we were very much expected to build up the 3D picture. We had to create our own back story for the director Howard Davies, but he didn’t call on us to use that until the last week of rehearsal. Howard was amazingly good at telling us what we were doing well, even when we knew that some of what we were doing was still crap. David has written the play but it’s Howard that makes it breathe. David had a mission to give the play its own voices, he wanted people to hear the characters and not him and I think we have achieved that. After seeing the play for the first time he came back and said ‘It’s great not to hear my voice’.’’ In a cast of unlikable characters, the most sympathetic is that of Lori, a disillusioned ex teacher – now a busker. She could be the moral touchstone of the piece but even she manipulates. When attacking the journalist she fudges the truth about the age of the wayward daughter of the Home Secretary who he has had sex with at an orgy. It works, the journalist squirms – and David Hare clearly dislikes journalists. But even here, with a character he portrays as media pond life, he allows a moment of empathy. The hack is given a chance to explain and in doing so reveals another element of the drama. While the thrust is about truths and lies and how we all use both to achieve our ends, it is also about beliefs, or faith and how we believe in our beliefs and have faith in our faiths – that is until they are successfully challenged. Then we change our minds. One thing I will not be changing my mind about is the power of this drama which, while thought provoking and intense, is totally entertaining. We may not like the characters but we warm to them because, perhaps, we see ourselves, our failings and we see that we have the right to say, ‘I believed that, really, but I was wrong and I have changed my mind’. This National Theatre Production arrives in Brighton at the end of March with the full London cast and set. Gethsemane, while a clever title, perhaps hides the fact that this is a gripping and tense drama full of humour. Nicola Walker, who plays Lori, poignantly says that in rehearsal the director asked her to ‘Lie better’, and of course all acting is lying of a kind. In Gethsemane we have liars playing liars, a complex thought that actually is realised in a brilliant, not-to-bemissed night at the theatre. Gethsemane, Theatre Royal Brighton, Tuesday 31 March to Saturday 4 April. Call 0871 2975454 www.ambassadortickets.com/brighton
“In rehearsal the director asked her to ‘Lie better’, and of course all acting is lying of a kind”
STAGELISTINGS
Tuesday 24 February to Monday 9 March Brighton Dome 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Sinderfella Brighton’s alternative adult panto. • 24 Feb–1 Mar, 5pm & 8pm (no show 23 Feb, no 5pm show 19 & 25 Feb) £16 Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Mendelssohn Violin Concerto in E minor. • 1 Mar, 2.45pm, £8–£30 Tanja Liedtke’s Twelth Floor Darkly funny exploration of our interaction through dance... • 3 Mar, 8pm, £17.50/12.50/10 Mugged and the Musicians With Brighton Academy of Drama. (Some mild swearing). • 6 Mar, 8pm, £6 London Philharmonic Orchestra Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto 1 & Berlioz Symphonie fantastique. • 7 Mar, 7.30pm, £10–£32.50
01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Brainiac Live 2009 Live stage show based on the hit TV series.
Eastbourne: Devonshire Park Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Lucky Sods Outrageous John Godber comedy about a family who win £2million on the lottery. • 24–28 Feb, Wed & Sat mat 2.30pm, 7.45pm, £13.50–£19.50 Boeing Boeing West End and Broadway hit about one man with three air hostess fiancées. • 2–7 Mar, 7.45pm, Wed & Sat mat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19
4.30pm & 7.30pm Fri & Sat. £tbc Rambert Dance Company 22 dancers with uplifting music from London Musici. • 4–7 Mar, 7.45pm plus 2pm Thu &2.30pm Sat. Please contact venue for prices. Lloyd George Knew My Father Edward Fox stars this comedy depicting the English aristocracy at their most maddeningly eccentric • 9–14 Mar, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Thu & Sat. Please contact venue for prices.
New Venture Theatre 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Five Kinds of Silence Play about control, madness and a family bonded by abuse. • 24–28 Feb, contact venue for times/£
Theatre Royal Worthing: Connaught Theatre
08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal SpongeBob Squarepants – The Sponge Who Could Fly New musical based on the hit kids TV show. • 24–28 Feb, 7pm plus 4pm Wed & Thu,
01093 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Life & Beth Alan Ayckbourn’s comedy of the supernatural: It’s a Christmas Beth won’t forget. • 24–28 Feb, 7.30pm, plus 2pm Wed, 2.30pm Sat, £13–£22.50
Brainiac Live
Worthing: Pavilion Theatre
The Hawth, Crawley 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Hot Flush Musical comedy for the perfect girls’ night out: the lives and loves of four women. • 25 Feb, contact venue for show times/£ Houdini’s Suitcase Tale of love and loss,
Pic: Chris Williams
Eastbourne: Congress Theatre
• 1 Mar, 2.30pm, £18.50 Cirque De Glace The Russian Ice Stars bring to life the story of the creation of our planet. • 4–8 Mar, 7.30pm plus Thu, Sat & Sun mat 2.30pm, £15.50–£26.50
told through puppetry visual theatre. • 5 Mar, contact venue for show times/£
01093 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Totally Looped Comedians dub improvised dialogue over ever-changing film clips. • 24 Feb, 8pm, £17 Moscow Ballet – La Classique Moscow Ballet presents Giselle. • 3 Mar, 7.30pm, £15–£19.50 Fascinating Aida The 25th birhday of theatre cabaret trio. Dillie, Adele and Liza entertaining the masses. • 6 Mar, 7.30pm, £20/18
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0871 224 4007 Tuesday 24 BOLT 3D (PG) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC (PG) 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (12A) 1.00, 4.45, 8.30 FRIDAY THE 13TH (18) 3.30, 9.00 GRAN TORINO (15) 12.45, 3.30, 6.15, 9.00 HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (12A) 12.15, 3.30, 6.15, 9.00 HOTEL FOR DOGS (U) 1.15 LINHA DE PASSE (15) 8.00 NOTORIOUS (15) 9.15 THE PINK PANTHER 2 (PG) 1.00 PUSH (12A) 12.30, 3.00, 5.40, 8.15 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (12A) 12.15, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA (PG) 3.20, 5.45
Wednesday 25 BOLT 3D (PG) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC (PG) 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (12A) 1.00, 4.45, 8.30 FRIDAY THE 13TH (18) 3.30, 9.00 GRAN TORINO (15) 12.45, 3.30, 6.15, 9.00 HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (12A) 12.15, 3.30, 6.15, 9.00
HOTEL FOR DOGS (U) 1.15 NOTORIOUS (15) 9.15pm THE PINK PANTHER 2 (PG) 1.00 PUSH (12A) 12.30, 3.00, 5.40, 8.15 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (12A) 12.15, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA (PG) 5.45
Thursday 26 BOLT 3D (PG) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC (PG) 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (12A) 1.00, 4.45, 8.30 FRIDAY THE 13TH (18) 3.30, 9.00 GRAN TORINO (15) 12.45, 3.30, 6.15, 9.00 HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (12A) 12.15, 3.30, 6.15, 9.00 HOTEL FOR DOGS (U) 1.15 QUANTUM OF SOLACE (15) 10.30am NOTORIOUS (15) 9.15pm THE PINK PANTHER 2 (PG) 1.00 PUSH (12A) 12.30, 3.00, 5.40, 8.15 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (12A) 12.15, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA (PG) 5.45
Films showing Friday 27–Monday 2 PLEASE CHECK WITH CINEMA
www.picturehouses.co.uk
01273 626261 Tuesday 24
Saturday 28
FAR NORTH (15) 11.00am CHE: PART TWO (15) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.30
THE CLASS (15) 2.00, 4.30, 7.15, 10.00 CARS (PG) 11.00am
Wednesday 25
Sunday 1
CHE: PART TWO (15) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 9.00
THE CLASS (15) 1.30, 4.00, 6.45, 9.30 CARS (PG) 11.00am
Thursday 26 CHE: PART TWO (15) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 9.00
Monday 2
Friday 27
THE CLASS (15) 1.00
THE CLASS (15) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 9.00 TWILIGHT (12A) 11.30pm
CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES
www.cineworld.co.uk
0871 200 2000 Tuesday 24 BOLT (PG) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30 BOLT 3D (PG) 2.00, 4.30, 6.55 CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC (PG) 12.50, 3.30, 6.10, 8.40 HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 HOTEL FOR DOGS (U) 1.50, 4.20, 6.45 MY BLOODY VALENTINE (18) 9.30 PUSH (12A) 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.10 REVOLUTIONARY ROAD (15) 8.50 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 7.00, 9.45 THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (12A) 1.15, 4.50, 8.30 PINK PANTHER 2 (15) 12.40, 2.50, 5.00 VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA (12A) 9.20pm
Wednesday 25 BOLT (PG) 1.30, 4.00 BOLT 3D (PG) 2.00, 4.30, 6.55 CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC (PG) 12.50, 3.30, 6.10, 8.40 HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 HOTEL FOR DOGS (U) 1.50, 4.20 PUSH (12A) 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.10 REVOLUTIONARY ROAD (15) 8.50
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 7.00, 9.45 THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (12A) 1.15, 4.50, 8.30 PINK PANTHER 2 (15) 12.40, 2.50, 5.00 VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA (12A) 9.20pm GRAN TORINO (15) 6.45, 9.30
Thursday 26 BOLT (PG) 1.30, 4.00 BOLT 3D (PG) 2.00, 4.30, 6.55 CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC (PG) 12.50, 3.30, 6.10, 8.40 HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 HOTEL FOR DOGS (U) 1.50, 4.20 PUSH (12A) 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.10 REVOLUTIONARY ROAD (15) 8.50 SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (15) 7.00, 9.45 THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (12A) 1.15, 4.50, 8.30 PINK PANTHER 2 (15) 12.40, 2.50, 5.00 VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA (12A) 9.20pm GRAN TORINO (15) 6.45, 9.30 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES
01903 206206 Tues 24–Thurs 26
Saturday 28
BOLT (12A) 5.00
INKHEART (PG) 10.15
Tues 24–Tues 2
CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES
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What’s on this week
Bolt 3D (PG) Dir: Byron Howard and Chris Williams The first CG production for Disney from Pixar main man John Lasseter is also the studios first fully 3D film. John Travolta voices the titular Bolt, an over-confident white shepherd pup who wrongly believes he has superpowers. Bolt has a decent voice cast including Miley Cyrus, Malcolm McDowell and even former WWE wrestler Randy Savage. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (12A) Dir: David Fincher The gritty, semi-indie director of Fight Club, Se7en and Alien 3, David Fincher, does exactly what you wouldn’t expect and fully embraces the awards-friendly rom-com genre. Brad Pitt takes the lead role as Benjamin, a man who is born old and slowly gets younger. Cate Blanchett looks on in soft-focus elegance as Fincher’s interesting take on an epic Forrest Gump-style story which looked set to take the gold. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
The Unborn (15) Dir: David S. Goyer It’s a twin thang. Protagonist Casey (Odette Yustman) is hit on the head with a mirror by a neighbourhood kid only to find her eyes changing colour. A brief visit to the doc reveals that this is because she was once a twin, with her brother never making it to birth. As dreams plague her she comes to believe she is being haunted by a dybbuk, somehow connected to her family and to its history of twins. At Cineworld and Odeon from Friday
Confessions of a Shopaholic (12A) Dir: P.J. Hogan Chick flick and rom-com combine to bring this British chick lit bestseller to the big screen starring Isla Fisher (The Wedding Crashers) as the wannabe fashion writer humbugging it up as a finance agony aunt. Dealing The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
with an escalating debt, not unfamiliar in these times, with a girly giggly pratfalling twist. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon & Worthing
The International (15) Dir: Tom Tykwer Clive Owen and Naomi Watts star in this sharp thriller about an allegiance between an Interpol agent and a Manhattan ADA to chase down the illegal activities of a bank. Uncovering money laundering, arms dealing and the destabilization of governments, following the trail around the globe, our intrepid duo find their tenacity leaves them in a very risky position. At Cineworld and Odeon from Friday
Franklyn (15) Dir: Gerald McMorrow Four lost souls spread across two parallel Londons – one in the present and another sometime in the future with no partition between church and state. Starring Ryan Phillippe as a masked vigilante detective, Eva Green as a suicidal artist, and other stories involving performances from Art Malik and Bernard Hill, this is a much anticipated fantasy thriller for the big screen. At Cineworld and Odeon from Friday
Che: Part Two (15) Dir: Steven Soderbergh The second part of this political biography of activist and Argentine leader Che Guevera, starring Benicio Del Toro. Covering his wider historical place, aiding activists throughout South America and the CIA’s efforts to stop the rising tide Che was a part of. Part One bagged Del Toro Best Actor at Cannes and saw Soderbergh nominated for the Golden Palm. Duke Of York’s
Far North (15) Dir: Asif Kapadia When soldier Sean Bean arrives in a small community his presence is a catalyst in changing the lives of two women he finds there. Also starring Michelle Yeoh (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) and Michelle Krusiec (What Happens In Vegas) in this crime drama. Duke Of York’s
Films showing Friday 27–Monday 2
www.worthingtheatres.co.uk
CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC (PG) (Tues -Thurs) 2.30, 8.00 (Sat & Sun) 2.00, 5.15, 8.00 (Mon) 2.30, 8.00
L7 lowdown
The Class (15) Dir: Laurent Cantet This excellent Palme d'Or winning slice of contemporary objective realism pieces together a year inside the classroom walls of an urban Parisian school. From the raw teenage honesty of the pupils, to the mature challenge of order that stirs the class to life, a tense clash of generations, cultures and attitudes gently unravels. A potent and subtly gripping drama. French with English subtitles. Duke Of York’s
Disne
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Director Laurent Cantet and lead actor François Bégaudeau talk about making award-winning French school drama The Class. The Class won the Palme d‘Or at Cannes last year and was nominated for an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film – by now, you should know if it won. Not bad for a movie with a cast mainly made up of ordinary schoolchildren, parents and teachers from a Parisian suburb. The film stars François Bégaudeau as François Malin – the lead character from his 2006 autobiographical novel Entre les Murs (Between the walls). The story follows François and his fellow teachers as they prepare for a new year at a high school in a tough neighbourhood. Armed with the best intentions, they brace themselves not to let discouragement stop them from trying to give the best education to their students.
Cultures and attitudes often clash in the classroom, a microcosm of contemporary France. As amusing and inspiring as the teenage students can be, their difficult behaviour can still jeopardise any teacher's enthusiasm for the low-paying job. François insists on respect and diligence. Neither stuffy nor severe, his frankness often takes the students by surprise. But his classroom ethics are put to the test when his students begin to challenge his methods.
“The result is a movie that sides neither with the students, nor the authority figures“
Cantet, famed for social commentary films such as Human Resources (1999) and Heading South (2005), had already decided he wanted to make a school film before he met Bégaudeau. He said: “I wanted to show a microcosm of the world, where issues of equality or inequality regards to opportunity, work and power, cultural and social integration and exclusion – play out concretely.“ After reading Entre les Murs, Cantet was intrigued by the portrayal of teacher and students and the direct, honest relationship they shared. Bégaudeau helped to develop the screenplay, althought he describes his role as “mainly a fact checker“. He said: “The aim of my book was to document one school year, sticking close to daily experiences. So there was no clear narrative line, no fictional plot centered around any one particular event. There were disciplinary meetings, but they were mostly events among many which followed their course. With this material, Laurent and his coscreenwriter Robin Campillo extracted the storyline. My book was the result of situations; Laurent and Robin chose some of these to mold into fictional form. They did not choose characters they constructed them, sometimes by grafting together kids from the book.“ The film tells its story meanderingly, focusing on the community created when 25 people are called together to work within four walls for one year. After about an hour, the tale of one student, Souleymane, who faces expulsion, takes centre stage. The film might have been acted by children with no experience, but Bégaudeau refutes the accusation that they were just playing themselves. Bégaudeau said: “At the end of the film, you think, ‘these kids are fantastic, but they are not really actors, they're natural because they are just playing their lives.‘ Nothing could be farther from the truth!“ The students were allowed to improvise some of their lines and bring their own reality to the script. Bégaudeau said: “Most films show adolescents as monosyllabic. For us, without doubt, the dominant force of The Class is the loquacious and lively adolescent.“ Cantet was adamant that he did not want to make a film like Dead Poet’s Society which deifies the teacher – he wanted to show François‘ weaknesses as well as his strengths, that his open style of talking to adolescents as if they were adults can have consequences. The director said: “There was no question of making François into a superhero.“ Cantet believes the result is a movie that sides neither with the students, nor the authority figures. “They all have their weaknesses and outbursts, their moments of grace and pettiness. I even have the impression that the film expresses something paradoxically positive: a school is sometimes very chaotic, useless to cover its face, there are moments of discouragement but also great moments of immense happiness. And from this great chaos, a lot of intelligence can be born.“
Win a luxury night at the Duke of York’s Win a luxury cinema night for two with a free glass of wine watching a film of your choice at The Duke of York‘s cinema. Come and enjoy the luxury cinema sensation of their balcony. Slink into sumptuous comfort in the two or three-seater sofas, large armchairs or plush cinema seats, all with tables for drinks and snacks, extra legroom and fantastic sightlines. Subject to availability. To win this week’s tickets, simply answer this question: In which city is The Class set? Send your answer in an email with your name, age, address and phone number to competitions@thelatest.co.uk, putting Duke of York’s in the subject line, or write to us at the address on page three. Closing date: Tuesday 10 March.
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A laughing matter Victoria Nangle declares that manners maketh the comic and breaketh them – if you’re not careful… Some bits of advice are so old people don’t pay much attention to them anymore. They dismiss it as they would a limerick or nursery rhyme of being of bygone times and not something they need to remember. It’s just common sense really, so who needs to make a note of this repeated bit of old advice? If people are still saying it, maybe that’s because we’re still not listening. I’m talking about the old adage; be nice to the little people on the way up because you’ll see them again on your way down. Not meaning to be a forbearer of doom, but if you’ve been gigging for a while, built up a few anecdotes of being recognised by random people who called you ‘funny’ and are feeling rather happy about your comedic prospects, maybe it’s time to start treating this passion as a job. And that means not turning up drunk, chatting up the barman’s girlfriend and then slagging off the other acts in the toilets.
“Be nice to the bar staff, be lovely to the box office and be gracious to the booker – even if he tries to steal your best gags“ Not that you’d be so badly behaved in the first place but there are gradients of offensive behaviour. Just because the venue you’re playing is not your local and – quite frankly – somewhere you’d prefer to relegate to one of Dante’s levels of hell, doesn’t mean you have carte blanche to slag it off to all and sundry. The comedy circuit’s a small place and it’ll get back to the booker in the end. And even if it doesn’t, with your damning indightment in circulation it may well put off other bookers from giving you a buzz. Be nice to the bar staff, be lovely to the box office and be gracious to the booker – even if he tries to steal your best gags as soon as you’ve left the stage. Manners cost nothing, and could be the difference between a first paid gig and being passed over. I’ve interviewed quite a few established comics, and heard talk of even more, and the one thing they all have in common is that everyone says how nice they are. Even if they’re the angriest biped on the planet once they take to the stage. It’s a professional way to be. And even if you’re only starting out now as a new act, there’s no shame in getting into good habits ahead of the game. Like I said, this is something you already think you know. It’s just remarkable the number of people you can offend without even realising. I’ve done it. I’ve got such a bad memory for faces that I had to rely on my first date to remember what I looked like and stand as conspicuously as possible at the tube. Unfortunately he did. My memory hasn’t got much better, but my capacity for bluffing has. So sorry to everyone I’ve offended this way. I really didn’t mean to.
☺
Stand-up wisdom: “When you’re over thirty you still want the same things – you just want them delivered.” Jeremy Hardy
COMEDYLISTINGS
Wednesday 25
Friday 27
Accidentally/On Purpose A completely improvised show from Accidentally/On Purpose – no script, no plan, no cheating! Marlborough Bar & Theatre, 8pm, £3
Rabbit In The Headlights Often hilarious, sometimes bizarre and occasionally mind-blowing! A great night of stand-up comedy hosted by Katy Schutte (Funny Women finalist). Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £6/5
Thursday 26 Comic Boom Seann Walsh comperes a fast-paced quality show featuring a top headlining act plus rising stars from the comedy circuit. Komedia, 7pm, £8.50/6.50 Coalition Comedy Comedy on the beach featuring compere Nigel Taylor joined by acts Colin Owens, Hal Cruttenden and Juliet Meyers. The Coalition, 8pm, £5/4
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➧ For full listings go to thelatest.co.uk/7
Patrick O’Donnell: From The Martyrdom of St. Matthew (Caravaggio)
Bellis Gallery The Bellis Gallery is a very welcome addition to the gallery scene here in Brighton, which is oddly bereft of decent gallery spaces to exhibit the amazing talent we are blessed with here. Its current exhibition features artist Patrick O’Donnell showing recent paintings that embrace the human form, beautiful landscapes by Angie Meaden-Bonnell, Liz Toole’s multi-layered mixed media works, Philippa Kavakashian’s cool abstract compositions and etchings by Harriet Butler. Bellis Gallery, 8-9 Kings Road (off East Street). Call 01273 747429
Bellis Gallery 8-9 Kings Road, Brighton, 01273 747429 Patrick O’Donnell New work from this gifted local artist whose work embraces the figurative, and sometimes the apocalyptic. Intense, yet radiant. Mon, Wed–Sat 10.30am–6.30pm, Sun 11.30am–6pm
Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens, 01273 292882 Lives Less Photographed: Working Class Life in Brighton, 1860–1935 Exhibition that reveals rare images of local working class life: the people, and the lost areas of Brighton where they lived. Until 26 April Paintings Unwrapped This exhibition takes 60 paintings and helps you look at them with a fresh eye. Many of them will be on display for the first time in many years and include modern, local, international and historical works. Until 13 April
Clever Peter Sketch Comedy An eclectic comedy-mash of the bizarre, ridiculous and just plain funny. With razorsharp writing and energetic performances, Clever Peter is a sketch show that promises big laughs at a frenetic pace. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £7/5.
location is the De La Warr and Bexhill. Until 15 March, Mon–Sun 10am–6pm
Ink_D Gallery 96 North Road, Brighton, 01273 645299 Ben Allen Known for his vibrant palette and screens peppered with stark graphics, Ben Allen’s new solo show Life, Death and Other Colour In Between, explores the realms of the unplanned, plays with mishaps, and unfolds sublime images that reflect on life itself. Until 1 March, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm
Permanent Gallery 20 Bedford Place, Brighton 07730 065964 GAZWRZ & RAYDAY Exhibition by Jeff Keen and Ian Helliwell to mark the BFI release of GAZWRZ: The Films of Jeff Keen on DVD and RAYDAY, a boxed edition of Keen’s broadsheet papers. 1-8 March, Thurs, Fri & Sun 1–6pm, Sat 11am–6pm
University of Brighton Gallery De La Warr Pavilion
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ART LISTINGS
Bexhill-on-Sea, 01424 229111 William Furlong Anthem continues Furlong’s use of the voice and sound as the primary materials of his work where he makes original recordings of individuals in specific places, chosen at random and who happen to be passing by. For Anthem, the
Grand Parade, Brighton 01273 643010 From Art School to University: Art and Design at Brighton 1859-2009 Bringing together work from artists and designers associated with the university, celebrating the founding of the original School of Art 150 years ago. Until 14 March, Mon–Sat 10am–5pm
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For complete listings go to thelatest.co.uk
EVENTHIGHLIGHTS
Write club
The 2009 Book To Talk About Award
John O‘Donoghue samples Brighton’s queer poetry scene at a reading evening in Kemp Town
Local author Alison Macleod’s new short story collection, Fifteen Modern Tales of Attraction (Penguin), has been shortlisted for The 2009 Book To Talk About Award. The winner will be decided by a public online vote, and will be announced on World Book Day, next Thursday 5 March. Every vote matters with such a strong shortlist – and, if you already voted on the longlist, please now vote again if you can. Closing date for voting is this Friday 27 February so visit www.spreadthe-word.org.uk and click on ‘The Shortlist’ today! World Book Day takes place Thursday 5 March, when the winner will be announced.
Lilac Rescue Work Day Withdean Park may be one of Brighton’s lesser known park, but it’s home to a lilac collection once awarded ‘National Collection’ status. This Sunday 1 March, the Lilac Rescue Work Day takes place, and with the lilacs now demoted to ‘provisional;’ status, help is needed to restore them to their original grandeur. The Friends of Withdean Park are committed to helping restore the collection – young lilacs need formative pruning. If you are known for your ‘green fingers’ and would like to lend a hand or would like to learn how to prune like the experts, join in this special gardening event. Park Rangers will be on hand to demonstrate and assist. Lilac Rescue Workday, Sunday 1 March, Withdean Park, Brighton, (between Peacock Lane and Carden Avenue on the London Road.) 10am–1pm
Brighton’s poets seem to rely as much on readings, launches, slams, and get-togethers as they do on slim volumes, books, and publishing. Sometimes indeed print seems like an afterthought to them, a by-product of all the hanging out. Here the event is as mighty as the collection, and I thought I’d take you along this week to where the latest wave is rising… The Red Roaster is buzzing. There must be about 60 to 70 people here, sat at tables chatting, others getting a drink, and there are the poets themselves, a glow on them. It’s a friendly scene, and if there are stars they’re trying not to outshine anyone else in the constellation. The night’s been organised by Queer Writing South, and we’re here to celebrate the launch of Maria Jastrzebska’s new collection, I’ll Be Back Before You Know It, the latest from Pighog, whose Maria Jastrzebska exquisite works are becoming collectors’ items. John McCullough MCs, introducing two poets from Whoosh!, an anthology of work from local queer writers. Cathy Ives is up first, a sparky performer with a fine line in self-deprecation. She goes off to thumping applause, the laughter greeting her wry work still hanging in the rich coffee air. Vicky Ro is on next, with a fine poem about New York, how you can get everything on Fifth Avenue but a ‘self’. She’s slightly surreal, quirky, and then Vicky too is off and we’re in the presence of Seni Seneviratne, a Peepal Tree poet, here by invitation. Seni’s voice is warm and northern, as Yorkshire as the Dales, but her hinterland takes in Sri Lanka, Ireland, and the whole vast continent of poetry and song. She holds the room transfixed, reading poems about the Indies Columbus never found, about war and love, her ancient grandmother. And she sings – a capella, sweet, strong, and clear, folktinged numbers that take all the air out the room, and make everyone shiver with something spooky in them. Then there’s a break, and we come back for Maria. She’s a consummate performer, her set clearly worked out to show the full range of her brilliance, from post-war Europe to her Beloved’s shoes. There’s a subtlety, a seeing-round corners perspective to her poems that could be Polish, could be queer, or could just be pure Jastrzebska. I think of Herbert and Milosz as I listen, but I also think of Sappho, and I’m sure I see them all, standing, smiling, by the bar as she comes off, close again to her Beloved, and to the crowd, whose hearts she has in her pocket. ‘Nothing can divide us,’ she says, ‘not even air’. And here, now, at this moment, we know she’s absolutely right. I’ll Be Back Before You Know It by Maria Jastrzebska Pighog Press ww.pighog.co.uk
EVENTSLISTINGS
BOOKSLISTINGS
Tuesday 24
Thursday 26
Making Wars History Chris Coverdale – peace activist and lawyer – shares his view that international law should be used to stop future conflicts. www.changingtimes.org.uk for info. All Saints Centre, Lewes 7:45pm, £5 Pancake Night Crispy pancakes with roast duck. Get a bottle of Singha and pancakes for just £5 and celebrate Shrove Tuesday. Duke of Beaufort, Queens Park Road, 8pm, £5 Salsa Classes & Latin Club 8.30pm beginners and intermediates. 9.30pm–10.30pm improvers and advanced. Dance the night away. Hanbury Club, 7pm–1am, £6 Shrove Lock In Celebrate Pancake Day with
amazing stack of various types to try. The Open House, 7pm, £4.50
Thursday 26 Trivia At The Tackle Team quiz with great prizes, regular oddities and fish'n'chip supper. Ropetackle Centre, 7:30pm, £3 quiz entry/7 inc fish’n'chips.
Sunday 22 The Tower of Babel in Dutch and Flemish Painting A lecture by Maurice Howard, Professor of Art History at the University of Sussex. The Old Courtroom, 2:30pm, free.
To feature in events email editorial@thelatest.co.uk
The Uncanny A creative and critical approach to Freud’s essay on The Uncanny. Includes creative writing and the inspiration of The Uncanny, critical explorations and discussion. Uni of Chichester, Mitre Lecture Theatre, Bishop Otter Campus,Chichester, book on 01243 816163. 1.30pm–7.30pm, £15/10
Coming up... Saturday 7 March Kiersty Boon The local author will be signing copies of her new book ‘Walking on Chalk’ at Waterstones bookshop. Waterstone’s Brighton 11am, further details on 01273 206017
Friday 13 March Jeremy Paxman In his book The Victorians, Jeremy Paxman offers his personal take on the most important and influential period of our national past, using the paintings of the era as his starting point. Presented by City Books. The Old Market. 6.30pm, £6 includes a glass of wine.
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latest music ★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★
NEWS
Namely speaking Nick Aldwinckle previews the Canadian band with THAT name who are here as part of the Shred Yr Face tour Next week, the Drowned in Sound Shred Yr face returns for another dose of alternative indie music, this time with a somewhat heavier focus, highlighting America, Canada and Britain’s best emerging hardcore acts: F**ked Up, The Bronx and Rolo Tomassi. Behind any band suddenly hitting the big time, there’s usually years of hard slog behind the image of overnight success. Toronto’s F**ked Up is no
Emily Baker Local singer songwriter Emily Baker was the winner of the recent Arts Foundation Songwriting Award which was presented by Annie Lennox. Emily attended Chris Difford’s songwriting workshops two years running where she penned songs for Adam Levy of Norah Jones’ Handsome Band and Welsh singer songwriter Amy Wadge. Currently she’s in the studio making her debut album and continues to form songwriting partnerships with the likes of Alice Shaw and Dorie Jackson. She’s also about to embark on a sixweek tour of the UK with Chris Difford finishing off at Brighton’s Duke of York’s Picturehouse on 26 April. www.emilybaker.co.uk
Great Escape More artists are being added to The Great Escape bill which takes place across Brighton on 14–16 May. Metronomy, The Soft Pack, Vivian Girls, The Big Pink, Kissy Sell Out, The Golden Silvers, Esser, Future Of The Left and VW Brown are just some of the recent additions with loads more yet to be announced. The festival is likely to sell out this year so you’d better get your tickets early just in case… www.escapegreat.com
different. After numerous single and EP releases dating back to 2002 (it’s unclear quite how many, as the band deliberately post false information wherever possible, though it could be anything up to around thirty), the debut album, Hidden World, was released in 2006. This first full-length album from the band known by bizarre aliases including the likes of frontman Pink Eyes AKA Father Damian, bassist Mustard Gas and guitarist 10,000 Marbles brought the band to a wider audience. With a long, drawn out take on the usually short, sharp blast usually associated with punk and a keen political astuteness, this strong start was to take a huge leap forward in 2008. With the release of their second LP, The Chemistry of Common Life, the UK indie music press embraced F**ked Up as that year’s Gallows, namely talented punks taken on board as the token heavy band among the softer industry mainstream.
The key to F**ked Up’s fearsome reputation lies squarely in their live performance. Heavyweight frontman Pink Eyes spent much of last year semi-naked on stage with open wounds, an image somewhat different to the usual paradigm of stick-thin snarlers swaggering about. Various rumours are constantly circulating about the band, including talk that Pink Eyes is in fact a movie producer and the more troubling idea of links to Fascism and Nazi mysticism, something F**ked Up vehemently deny, though didn’t do much to help their cause by using a photo of Hitler for an early single cover. Whatever the rumours, the controversial nature of the band will ensure they remain a talking point. Challenging punk stereotypes with ever-longer songs (one, ‘Year Of The Pig’, eighteen minutes), unusual instrumentation including strings and whistling and one of the most distinctive frontmen of the modern era, their name says everything about their plan of action. F**ked Up are joined on this tour by the equally brutal (if a little more conventional) LA hardcore outfit The Bronx, another intelligent rock collective who have toiled away for years before this tour. Again, their name says it all: evoking the spirit of gritty New York punks Sick Of It All, Minor Threat and Agnostic Front, their recent third eponymous album is a bile-filled classic. Completing the lineup are female-fronted Sheffield metalcore kids Rolo Tomassi, who have, in a very short time on the scene, built up a strong reputation as challengers for the UK’s punk rock crown. Thursday 5 March, Concorde 2
UPCOMING GIGS
Art Brut Brilliant art rockers with new album to promote. Wednesday 6 May, Concorde 2
30 latest 7
Noah & The Whale 7 March, St Georges Emiliana Torrini 14 March, St Georges Tunng & Tinariwen 18 March, De La Warr Lily Allen 20 March, Dome Goldie Lookin’ Chain 23 March, Concorde 2 Rumble Strips 24 March, Komedia Hugh Cornwell 25 March, Concorde 2 Mr Hudson 25 March, Hanbury The Beat 27 March, Concorde 2 Nick Harper 28 March, Latest Bar Simply Red 31 March, Brighton Centre The Enemy 8 April, Dome The Prodigy 14 April, Brighton Centre David Byrne 14 April, Dome PJ Harvey 15 April, Corn Exchange Bat For Lashes 16 April, Corn Exchange
Gary Moore 17 April, Dome The Rakes 21 April, Concorde 2 Australian Pink Floyd 28 April, Brighton Centre Gallows 2 May, Concorde 2 Martin Stephenson 4 May, Latest Music Bar Art Brut 6 May, Concorde 2 Great Escape 14-16 May Counting Crows 24 May, Brighton Centre Antony & The Johnsons 21 May, Dome Katy Perry 2 June, Dome Jeff Beck 24 June, Dome Loop 11/12 July, Victoria Gardens Beachdown 28-31 August Bloc Party 24 Oct, Brighton Centre UB40 9 Dec, Brighton Centre Jools Holland 12 Dec, Brighton Centre
031_LS412_music list/highlights
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MUSIC
MUSIC LISTINGS Tuesday 24 Amadou and Mariam Malian superstars with a host of famous fans play blues and African beats. Concorde 2, 8pm, £17/15 BIMM Showcase Some of the Brighton Institute for Modern Music's newest bands. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, free. It Hugs Back 4AD signed Kent rockers. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc.
Wednesday 25 Candi Staton Legendary soul vocalist. The Old Market, 8pm, £17 Club NME: The Perils Indie night with local garage rockers. Brighton Coalition, 10pm, free. The Durutti Column Veteran Factory Records post-punk/pop mavericks. Komedia, 8pm, £12 Skint and Demoralised Spoken word with a catchy pop tang. Like The Streets with more soul perhaps. Audio, 8pm, £tbc.
Thursday 26 Artrocker Club Brighton Indie club night with live bands. Latest Music Bar, 7:30pm, £5 Battle of the Bands: Wide Eyed Order + The Finds + Scenic Routes + Marcus Hessenberg and the Tulips Featuring quirky electro-art-popper Marcus Hessenberg and his band. The Brunswick, 8pm, £tbc. Eliades Ochoa Buena Vista Social Club man performs his guitar-driven Santiago sun repertoire. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £tbc. Faustus Folk trio. Royal Oak, Lewes, 8pm, £5 Sound Factory Stripped Local bands play unplugged shows. The Providence, 8pm, £1 Taxim: The Kypreos Band Traditional and original Greek music for this themed night. Hanbury Club, 7pm, £8/6 Woodpigeon Great pastoral-sounding Calgary folk. Prince Albert, 8pm, £7/6
24 Feb – 2 March
Jim Mullen Organ Trio with Stan Sulzman Contemporary jazz guitarist tinkers with the organ. Komedia, 8pm, £8–12 Mountain Firework Company Acoustic roots from acclaimed locals. Brunswick, 8pm, £tbc Ola Onabule Vocalist bridging soul, jazz and world music. Latest Music Bar, 9pm, £12.50 Sound Factory Battle of the Bands: Andrea Kenny and the Cavalry + Blind Eye Fury + Thunk + Flange With the funky Thunk. Providence, 8pm, £1 The Xcerts Catchy pop trio who’ve supported the likes of Feeder. Freebutt, 8pm, £tbc.
Saturday 28 Acker Bilk One of the world's greatest clarinetists. The Old Market, 8pm, £24–26 Anti-Nowhere League The biker punk legends return once again to Brighton. Engine Rooms, 7pm, £10 The Bluetones Perennial 90s britpop survivors. Concorde 2, 7pm, £14 Elbow The perennial brit-rock underdogs who made good with last year's Mercury Music Prize. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £tbc. Lianne Hall + Eirlys Rhiannon + Bela Emerson + Kelly Kemp Interesting bill of allfemale musical innovators, blending punk, jazz, classical and more. Cowley Club, 7:30pm, £4 The Misbegotten + The Lucans + Edit/Select Cable Club local bands night. Prince Albert, 8pm, £4 Sound Factory: Echo View + Without Warrant + Lost Cosmonaut Rock night. The Providence, 8pm, £1 Spectrum (feat Sonic Boom) + The Notorious Hi-Fi Killers + Flowers of Hell Drone outfit formed by Spaceman 3 man Pete Kember. Freebutt, 7:30pm, £7/8
MUSICHIGHLIGHTS Amadou & Mariam A rare world music success, A & M’s secret lies in their appropriation of plenty of western styles and instrumentation to make something new and interesting. The sweet melodies, funky rhythms, bluesy guitar and the Malian duo’s compelling vocals are combined beautifully. They’ve been at it 30 odd years now, and their time has certainly come. Tuesday 24 February, Concorde 2 Candi Staton Southern soulstress, familiar for ‘Young Hearts Run Free‘ and super-club smash ‘You Got The Love‘. From a Christian background, Staton mixes up gospel with the odd secular album. A cult figure over here, it seems, she’s been making music since the 50s. Wednesday 25 February, Old Market Woodpigeon & The Miserable Rich Nice double bill with locals Miserable Rich opening for the lovely Canadian indie-folksters Woodpigeon, a collective of musicians who combine blissed-out orchestral pop with hushed hymnals and latterday lullabies, all generally providing a sugary cover for Mark Hamilton’s dark meditations. Thursday 26 February, Prince Albert The Durutti Column Vini Reilly’s brand of maverick post-punk, experimenting with sounds from various unlikely genres, was always at the more interesting end of the spectrum of acts on ‘Madchester’s Factory Records. By now a respected (and still something of a cult) veteran act, The Durutti Column (named after Spanish Civil War anarchists) is a musical tour-de-force.
Wednesday 25 February, Komedia
NA
Elbow Guy Garvey’s hangdog expression lays parallel to his band’s longtime musical underdog status. That is, until last year when Elbow’s fourth album, The Seldom Seen Kid, won the coveted Mercury Music Prize, something critics called ‘the people’s vote’. With this band’s continued popularity, maybe that says it all. Saturday 28 February, Brighton Dome NA Lianne Hall + Eirlys Rhiannon + Bela Emerson + Kelly Kemp The reliably ‘alternative’ Cowley Club plays host to an interesting line-up of female artists. Headlining is John Peel-approved folk singer Lianne Hall. Perhaps the real highlight, though, is Brighton experimental cellist Bela Emerson, whose striking use of the loop pedal to distort sound into a soaring, majestic maelstrom is unforgettable. Saturday 28 February, Cowley Club NA Smash EDO Fundraiser: The King Blues + The Lovely Brothers + Chicken Shed Zepellin Whatever your views on the Brighton-based international arms manufacturer, this is a decent line-up of bands. Headlining, political punks The King Blues seem to finally be hitting the big time after a few years of slogging away at the live circuit. Silly support comes from the bizarre cabaret merchants The Lovely Brothers and bluegrass Led Zepellin covers band Chicken Shed Zepellin. Sunday 1 March, Prince Albert NA
Sunday 1 March Friday 27 Benefit Culture: Mathew George's Boogie Woogie Troupe Show in aid of the Cambodia Trust. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 8pm, £5 Blues Night Special: The Will Johns Band Blues from the Joe Strummer and Ronnie Wood collaborator. The Neptune, 8:30pm, free. Carnivalesque Live extravaganza featuring funk music from the Coldcut-approved Bijoumayo. Brighton Coalition, 10.30pm, £6–11 Charlie Parr + Jenn Grant + Kevin Hearn (Barenaked Ladies) Featuring Hearn from Canadian smug-rockers Barenaked Ladies. Engine Rooms, 7pm, £7–9 Gentleman Starkey Brighton indie band play blues-tinged pop. The Tin Drum, 8pm, £tbc Inglu and Hartley Californian white-boy rappers. Concorde 2, 8pm, £tbc.
Adrian Harvey Alternative music night: Neil Young-style singer. Neptune, 8pm, free. Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Classical concert: Mendelssohn. Pre-concert interview at 1.45pm. Brighton Dome, 2.45pm, £tbc. Smash EDO Fundraiser: The King Blues + The Lovely Brothers + Chicken Shed Zepellin Benefit show for the movement against Brighton arms manufacturer EDO, headlined by political punks The King Blues. Prince Albert, 7:30pm, £tbc.
Monday 2 Martin Harley Band Blues and folk with world music influences. The Greys, 8pm, £9 The H'open Mic Open mic Hope, 8pm, free. Nick Aldwinckle
Amadou & Mariam
★
ZODIAC DRIVER TRAINING Chris Peters DSA ADI
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• Learn how to sew, knit and make your own clothes and accessories • One to one tuition, from £6 an hour • Men, women and teenagers welcome • Comfortable, friendly home-based setting
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032_LS412 reviews/chart
2/20/09
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MUSIC
MUSIC REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases Featuring Reverend & The Makers’ Jon McClure and Jon Moskow, plus ex-Arctic Monkeys bass player Andy Nicholson, Babyshambles Drew McConnell on guitar, and a host of rappers, the aptly named Mongrel are a searing rap, dub, indie and social-political animal in the vein of On-U Sound and the politically aware punks and post-punks of the 70s and 80s. Fantastic musically, the lyrics of Better Than Heavy sometimes veer close to the paranoid, with an us and them approach that generally wins no favours, but overall a kick-ass record made by people who seem to care and have a passion for social and political justice. The 1990s blew onto the scene a couple years back with their kick-ass glam rock’n’roll new wave crossover debut Cookies. It looked like the band might not have lasted much beyond that when bassist John McMorrow left to be temporarily replaced by Teenage Fanclub’s Norman Blake. Thankfully, this Glaswegian three-piece, who are held in high esteem by their fellow musicians up north, are giving it another bash with Kicks, another salutary lesson in stripped back indie rock packed full of memorable hooks, and some great songs. Enjoying a new lease of life following the cash-influenced Squeeze reformation of last year, Glenn Tilbrook’s soulful voice and keen sense of songcraft remains intact, and with his band The Fluffers, Pandemonium Ensues comes across as a decent effort, although after a while the cloying melancholy and the sometimes forced melodies begin to grate. Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis both make surprising guest appearances. Brighton jazz singer Alyson Green is back with a new album On My Way To You, the follow up to Secret, and another superbly performed selection of pop covers and jazz standards including songs by David Bowie, Kate Bush, Oasis, George Gershwin and Gerry Rafferty. Spacious and atmospheric, the album features some top notch players including Mark Edwards, Ben Castle, Troy Miller and John Paricelli. In the main, her interpretations are melancholy, but never drab. South Africa’s not a country famous for its psychedelic rock exports. This fact, combined with their wildly indulgent guitar jam sessions, marks Johannesburg quartet Blk Jks out as something of a unique prospect. With a sound firmly rooted in the sixties LA scene, mixed with interesting twists in terms of chord progression and rhythm changes, latest EP Mystery doesn’t quite pay-off as a coherent whole. Nevertheless, it’s still a diverting foray into traditional rock’s outer limits. Closer to home, Stourbridge’s The Voluntary Butler Scheme, AKA the musical outlet for singer-songwriter Rob Jones, has a new single out, entitled ‘Multiplayer’ – a pleasantly quirky voyage into classic pop. Finally, time for the new record by batty Icelandic nine-piece Storsveit Nix Noltes, Royal Family: Divorce. Playing their own versions of folk music from Bulgaria and the Balkan regions, this is a fantastically irreverent take on the already raucous sound of Eastern Europe.
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to
www.thelatest.co.uk/7/chart Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10
★ 1 Thunk – Micromophone ★ 2 Frunt, Bak & Nutz – The Rites Of Wolf 3 Chaos Borne – Watching 4 The Woo!worths – Konichiwa 5 Caramel Jack – We Could Build Skyscrapers 6 The Mojo Fins – Always Now 7 Caramel Jack – Curtain 8 Freudstein – Sister Sleaze 9 Swarf – Parlour Tricks 10 Chaos Borne – The Moment It’s a game of tag with the quirky classical-sampling breakbeat sound of Frunt, Bak & Nutz making room for funkmeisters Thunk with ‘Micromophone‘ to perch back on the number one spot again. Meanwhile, a welcome addition to the top ten comes from The Woo!worths with the irresistibly catchy ‘Konichiwa’ echoing the great Super Furries kaleidoscopic sound. 11 Mr Resonate Say what you mean 12 Breakinbear Breeze 13 Mr Resonate All That I’m Not 14 sMs I’m Sorry Dave 15 Tenek If I Should Fall – EP version 16 Jonny Loves House Care About Your Love 17 Glitters From Billy Holiday 18 R21 Proved You Wrong 19 Dear Jon On Your Side 20 Last Days of Lorca Big Green Parcel Machine 21 Sweet Violentine Eva B 22 Anemo Pray (Ropey Remix) 23 Tenek State Of Mind 24 The Woo!worths Konichiwa (dem oh) 25 Pete Lambrou with Rhia Lock To Silence Our Little Hearts
26 Sam Charles Elara 27 Maritime Hotel Keep Believing 28 No Sharp Objects Home 29 Glitters From Billy Holiday 30 Without Warrant Stop The Machine 31 Tom Ayres Confidence Problem 32 The Mystic Wizards The Vulture Song 33 Leo Altarelli See It Now 34 Project Lumino Movement 35 Dubdog KimBlee – Fade (Dubdog Mix) 36 Amongst The Pigeons Deep Housey 37 Jaybee Sweet Savage 38 Scribe-Tribe – The Marshan From Marz/Big Ben/Kendal Freedom 39 The Mighty Rivals Arise 40 The Beautiful Word Golden Box
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It’s a game of tag with the quirky classical-sampling breakbeat sound of Frunt, Bak & Nutz making room for funkmeisters Thunk with ‘Micromophone‘ to perch back on the number one spot again. Meanwhile, a welcome addition to the top ten comes from The Woo!worths with the irresistibly catchy
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033_LS412_Club_listings/club hi
2/19/09
3:35 PM
Page 1
BARS&CLUBS
For complete listings go to thelatest.co.uk/7
BAR & CLUBLISTINGS 24 Feb–2 March Tuesday 24 Audio Snide. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 Brighton Coalition Latin Fever. Latin music to get your juices flowing. 10pm–2am, free. Digital Glitterati. A classy night for student types. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Funky Buddha Lounge We Luv 90s. Classic 90s anthems. 10:30pm, 90p New Hero This Exists. Fresh music for cool kids! An uncompromising blend of high quality pop culture. 10pm, £2 Pavilion Tavern Guerrilla Rocks. Indie, rock, metal and punk mash-up. 10:30pm–2am, £1–£3 Tru Bandwagon. Student night with club anthems, old school R’n’B and classic house. 10pm–2:30am, £1–£3 Water Margin Sessions. Run by students and playing for the students. 11pm–4am, £2/free.
Wednesday 25 Arc Life is Easy. A mid-week interlude of indie classic new and old, plus floorfillers a plenty. 10pm, £1/free. Audio Supercharged. Step aside people folk, as D’n’B innovator, DJ Marky fires up the sound. 11pm–2:30am, £7/5. Brighton Coalition Club NME. A beerfest for All Stars wearing rock/indie fans with live NME bands and Brighton DJs. 10:30pm–3:30am, free. Po Na Na Urban Chic. R’nB, hip hop, dance hall and funky House.10pm–3am, £2/free. Volks Genetics. Liquid, soulful and darkside bass and breaks. 10pm-–3am, £1 b4 12/2 after. Water Margin Forgive Me Father for I Have Synth’d. Old school revival of 80s electro, breakdance, pop and rock. 11pm–3am, £tbc. Genetics Playing a mixture of intelligent, liquid, neuro and darkside D’n’B. 3am–6am, £2/free.
Komedia Da Doo Ron Ron Presents a ‘Motown is 50’ Special. Spinning nothing but femalefronted Motown tunes from the swingin’ 60s / early 70s. 11pm, £6/5. New Hero Somewhere in the Universe… Leading alt electro dance party. 10pm, £5/3 Ocean Rooms Krank. Cooking up dubstep, electro and breaks. 11pm–4am, £5/3. Pavilion Tavern Kick Out The Jams. Rock’n’Roll mayhem sploshed together with beer, indie anthems and punk. 10:30pm–3am, £5/3 Po Na Na Ice Box. Funky house night for a dressed up crowd. 10pm–3am, £5/4 Tru Skint. Playing mainstream funky house, R’n’B and cheesy disco hits. 10pm–2am, free b4 11/£3 after. Volks Roots of Dubpressure. Dubstep, grime, garage and jungle with Dusk and Blackdown. 11pm–4am, £5 b4 12. Water Margin Twisted Disco Love. TDL productions give you back the Love 2 Funk... 7:30pm, free.
Saturday 28
Audio Shameless Presents Quids In. Trashy pop anthems, indie classics and retro hits plus a hefty raffle prize. 11pm, £1 Brighton Coalition Them. Weekly dubstep and grime. 10:30pm–3am, free. Digital Thursday Club Presents Japanese Popstars. 11pm–3:30am, £6. Funky Buddha Lounge Double R Records. The freshest hip hop, R&B and bassline trax. 10pm–3am, £3/2. Hanbury Club Taxim: Greek Night. Live traditional and original Greek music from The Kypreos Band plus DJ Bella. 7pm–2am, £8/6. Honey Club Contagious. Southern FM’s Paul Hilyer plays house and dance anthems. 10:30pm–3am, £3/1. Ocean Rooms Afrodisiac. Hip hop, R’n’B and smooth grooves. 11pm–3am, £tba. The Hope Brap FM. Thursdays are the new Fridays with everything from downtempo to techno! 8pm–2am, free. Po Na Na Secret Discotheque. Return to the 80s. 10pm–3am, £3/2 Water Margin Love Lockdown. DJs; Show n Prove, Skills, Kush, and special guests. 7:30pm, £Ladies free all night!
Arc Hold Up. Unpretentious indie night. 10:30pm–4am, £5 Audio SoL’s Winter Sessions. The don of free parties brings some winter love with guest Cagedbaby. 11pm–4am, free. Brighton Coalition Brighton Coalition Muzika. Fran Cosgrave will be smashing down cutting edge and funky beats. 10:30pm-4am, £10/6. Followed by: De Puta Madre Afterparty. 3am–8am, £5/3. Concorde 2 Devotion. Floor to wall bass and jungle with Mampi Swift. 11pm–4am, £10. Digital Shades Rave. As the tin says. With Doorly blasting quality electro house and Mash Up.11pm–4am, £10/7. Engine Rooms Lowlife. Goth and glam rock night.11pm–3am, £5. Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Disco, funk, house and rare groove from Juice Fm’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10 Funky Fish The Funkyfish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £5/3.50 Honey Club Sevensins. Big room electro and house plus guests TBA. 10:30pm–5am, £12/5 Komedia Super Dynamite Boogaloo. One giant cake filled bonanza as SDB turn 17. With dollops of great pop tunes. 10:30pm, £8/6. La Tropicale Houseworks. Quality house from all over the world. 8pm–4am, free b4 11/6 after. New Hero It Is Still 1985. An alternative 80s night full of outrageous tunes! 10pm, £3 Pavilion Tavern Drop Zone. Dark, Heavy, Glam, Alternative Dance and beer to dribble down you til you drop! 10:30pm–3am, £4/2 Po Na Na Silk. R’n’B, funky house and commercial. 10pm–3am, £10/5. Tru Glitterbaby. Thickly spreading your favourite chart tunes across 3 rooms. 9pm–3am, £10/8. Water Margin Urban Junkie. Above catch funky electro house with Verity Mayes and find Underground Tech below. 10pm–3am, £5. Water Margin Logo. Future heroes to world famous DJs spin house tunes. 3am–8am, £7/5.
Friday 27
Sunday 1 March
2 One One Lollipop. R’n’B and hip hop. 11pm–3am, free before 11.30pm Arc Some Kind of Wonderful. Sixties night. 11pm–3am, £3 Audio Battlejam. 11pm–4am, £tbc. Brighton Coalition Carnivalesque. 10:30pm–4am, £11/6. Digital Stonelove. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll with DJ and bands. 11pm–3am, £4 Engine Rooms Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock alternative for eyeliner’d up boys and girls in PVC. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Funky Buddha Lounge Release. Funky house, soulful house and R’n’B. 11pm–6am, free b4 12/£5 after. Funky Fish The Funkyfish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £5/3.50 Hanbury Club Mojo To Go Go. Swinging 60s psychedelia, soul, beat, boogaloo, ska and garage. 7pm–2am, £5/4. Honey Club Hed Kandi. 10:30pm–3:30am, £15/5.
Arc Irie. Ragga, R’n’B, hip hop and UK Garage. Sundays are the new Fridays! 10pm–3am, £5/3 Honey Club Sundelicious. Knockin’ siesta Sundays into the past, Lee Garrett and Salerno play house and soulful beats. 10pm–3am, £2/1 The Open House We Change The Frequency. All things diverse from Radiohead, Madlib, National Forest and Playgroup. 8pm, free.
Thursday 26
BAR & CLUBHIGHLIGHTS Thursday Club Presents Japanese Popstars Compressed raucous energy is unleashed in the form of raved about electronic outfit, Japanese Popstars. Their big room electronic music sparks energy with every beat, chord and keyboard stab. With a growing catalogue of YouTube videos, these guys have gained a huge cultish backing even before their first big league release. Now they are riding a wave of live gigs, major festival bookings and critical acclaim for debut album, We Just Are. All those on a house, electro and techno frequency cannot afford to miss out. Thursday 26 February, Digital Hed Kandi With the release of their new album, Twisted Disco, Hed Kandi are rebelliously kicking down the door of sultry house. The tempo is accelerated, the beats are tough and the vocals are minimal. Join them in marking their release by embarking on a musical digression to the dark side of house. Friday 27 February, Honey Club Battlejam Genre-erasing, maverick turntablism! A mammoth four-hour jam of live sampling of both guest musician and beatbox-vocal nutter beardyman by the scratch-technician JFB. It‘s dynamic, it‘s off script and it will turn stationary crowds into sweat drenched punters. Occasionally even sampling crowds en mass or individually and manipulating it right before your very ears. They
Japanese Popstars might just turn the decks on each other, but who knows? A spontaneous hip hop explosion that will have you battling to be in the firing line. Friday 27 February, Audio Carnivalesque An indoor carnival extravaganza minus the grungy mud and port-a-loos. With live performance, DJs, bands and a totally bohemian crowd. This month expect a fresh mix of progressive rock, soul, jazz and funk from Bijoumiyo, finalists of the Indie Music Awards 2008. Plus the strong, rebellious sound of Saltpeter that moves through ska, D’n’B and breakbeat. Fancy dress is encouraged, so put a feather in your cap and call it Carnivalesque. Friday 27 Feburary, Brighton Coalition
Hed Kandi
Monday 2 March Brighton Coalition Trash Mondays. Filthy student fun. 10:30pm–3am, free. Funky Buddha Lounge Urban Lounge. Best in Old skool garage, R’n’B, hip hop, bashment and swing. 10:30pm–3am, £3/2 Honey Club Disco Babe. Disco and indie with drinks £1.50 all night. 10:30pm–2:30am, £3/1 Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys. Cocktail of funk, reggae, indie and pop. 10pm–2:30am, £3/1.
➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory for details
Jaime Pettit latest 7 33
034_LS412 gay news
2/20/09
3:19 PM
Page 2
LATESTGAY
Brighton’s only weekly gay guide NEWS
Lobby to lift ban
Right to sing A gay choir is to tackle homophobia by singing about gay rights. The Rainbow Chorus has been asked to perform at the Royal Festival Hall, Southbank Centre during the International Various Voices Festival in May. The Brighton choir will perform songs which sympathise with gay activism, women’s rights, socialism as well as Berlin cabaret. Expect ‘March of the Women’, ‘Solidarity Song’, ‘Coal for Mike‘, ‘The Lavender Song’, ‘Homophobia’ and
“Music is a tool for social change; gay rights, women’s rights and workers’ rights” ‘Advance Democracy’. Chair Anna Orchard said: “Music is a tool for social change; gay rights, women’s rights and workers’ rights. Suffragette anthems,
contemporary folk, rabble-rousing socialists 1930s songs, gay Berlin cabaret – it’s all there!” The Rainbow Chorus is in its 12th year. It will perform at the Golden Handbag Awards at Brighton Hilton Metropole Hotel in March and with the Vancouver Men’s Chorus at an informal concert at the Unitarian Church, Brighton, in April. Golden Handbag Awards, Metropole Hotel, Brighton, Friday 22 March, 7.30pm. Tickets: Prowler, St James's Street, Brighton. The Rainbow Chorus & The Vancouver Men’s Chorus, Unitarian Church, Brighton, Thursday 30 April, 7.30pm. www.rainbowchorus.org.uk. Various Voices, Royal Festival Hall, 4 May, midday. www.variousvoices.co.uk
Stonewall is putting pressure on the National Blood Service to lift the discriminatory blanket lifetime ban on gay men donating blood. The lobbying organisation commissioned a two year policy review looking into the ban and comparing practice in the UK to that of other countries. Stonewall chief executive Ben Summerskill said: “In blood donation, safety is paramount. Stonewall now urges the National Blood Service to change its current restrictions to reflect risky behaviours. As it stands, a heterosexual person who has consistently put themselves at risk of exposure to HIV is not given the same lifetime ban as that of a gay man, who has had protected sex just once. “People wanting to donate blood should ask themselves the same questions – irrespective of their sexual orientation – that accurately and fairly assess their level of risk of infection. The current system fails to do this. Instead it stigmatises gay men by perpetuating the offensive myth that they cannot be trusted in matters of sexual health.” He said Stonewall urged senior health professionals and ministers to fall in line with practices in Spain, Italy, Australia and New Zealand, none of which have a lifetime ban on gay men. In the UK, the Anthony Nolan Trust recently lifted its ban on bone marrow donations by gay men.
Bisexual Pride The bisexual community of Brighton will host a one-day festival for bisexual, bicurious, bi-friendly and queer people and their friends and partners. BiFest, part of Winter Pride, will be a fun-filled, openminded and friendly day. Highlights include a variety of workshops, speed dating, a club night, an LGBT fair, craft area, have your say session and cakes. BiFest is organised by Brighton Bothways, the community and social group for bisexual people. The event has been funded by Pride and the Partnership Community Safety Team. BiFest, Jurys Inn, 101 Stroudley Road, Brighton, BN1 4DJ, Saturday 7 March, 11am until late. For more information visit http:/./brighton.bifest.org, email lisa@brightonbothways.org.uk or call 07867 741025. Limited edition Brighton BiFest 2009 Tshirts, bags, badges and mugs can be bought in advance at www.brightonbifest.spreadshirt.co.uk 34 latest 7
See more at thelatest.co.uk
Crossword solutions Solution to Cryptic 182 ACROSS: 1 Booking-office 7 Apropos 9 Sieve 10 Despotic 11 Stay 13 Robber 15 Salami 18 Wand 19 Truncate 22 Teeth 23 Delaine 24 Housebreaking. DOWN: 1 Boarder 2 Orris 3 Improper 4 Fish 5 Inertia 6 Enemy 8 Skin 12 Magnolia 14 Bandeau 16 Iceberg 17 Grid 18 Witch 20 Alibi 21 Shoe. Solution to Quick 182 ACROSS: 1 Carrier-pigeon 7 Lampoon 9 Eager 10 Insisted 11 Each 13 Glands 15 Spread 18 Fish 19 Planners 22 Slept 23 Rotifer 24 Disappearance. DOWN: 1 Calling 2 Romps 3 Ironside 4 Item 5 Engrave 6 North 8 Need 12 Spinster 14 Answers 16 Deserve 17 Blur 18 Fused 20 Elfin 21 Stop. © Crossword Shop
If you have a story for Latest Gay pages please email news@thelatest.co.uk
035_LS412_gay listings
2/19/09
3:54 PM
Page 1
GAY
For full listings & venues go to thelatest.co.uk
GAYLISTINGS 24 Feb – 2 Mar Tuesday 24 Amsterdam Skint or Mint. Gay Bingo. 8pm Brighton Tavern Games Galore. Sticking it to maturity with a range of games. 12pm, free. Ghetto Twisted Karaoke. Nothin’ from your dad’s collection! Hosted by Mistress Cat. 9:30pm, free. Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday. Friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free. Marlborough Free poker night. Queen’s Arms Skint. Unlimited drinks wristbands for £10 plus a guest DJ and karaoke. A credit crunch gem. 8pm–11pm, free. R-Bar Shoot Me Baby! Free shot of Corky’s or Sourz with every alcoholic bevvy! 12pm–2am. Revenge Playground. School Disco with a twist. Spinning trax from the 80s, 90s and 00s! 10:30pm–4am, £3 or free NUS/in uniform. The Aquarium Theatre Bar Josh Mills’s Music Night. With Uncle Ben’s quiz night from 9pm. Bar open 12pm, free. The Basement Scene Queen. For scene staff and students with DJ Lil’ Alex. 11pm–4am, free.
Wednesday 25 Charles Street Bar Lola Lasagne: Mr & Mrs. Twisted game shows retro and new with the fabulous Lola. 10pm, free. Ghetto Transition. DJ Peter Von Sleaze spins, rock, metal and 80s tastic cheese with a sprinkling of goth! 10pm–2am, £2.50 Legends Super Karaoke. New karaoke & quiz night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free. Marlborough Bar In-House Darts League. 8pm, £3 to enter. Queen's Arms The Q Factor – Heat 4. Annual singing contest, sign up before 8:45pm. Bar open 12pm–1am, free. R-Bar Rush99. DJ Lil’ Alex spins on the decks plus a 99p rush bar! 12pm–2am, free. Revenge Rush150. Dance and house sounds served by DJ Lil’ Alex plus a rush bar! 10:30pm–3am, free b4 12am/2 after/free NUS. Star Inn Charity Jukebox. Bar 12pm–11pm. The Basement Play. With DJ Alex Baker spinning all things house. 11pm–4am, free.
Thursday 26 Charles Street Bar Mad Cow. Cheap as Primark pants. 8pm–11pm, £1 Charles Street Club Religion. Two floors of funky house. Hosted by Mother Superior Joan Bond with Tony B and Mikalis. 10pm–3am, £4/3 Ghetto Tits Up. 80s and 90s pop served up by Kitty and Tom. 10pm, free b4 11 Legends Thursday Cabaret Lounge. Glam'n'Glitz grace the stage. 9:30pm, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Open Mic. 8pm. Queen’s Arms Spice's Nooks & Crannies. A cabaret show with a difference! 9:30pm, free. R-Bar I Can’t Wait For The Weekend To Begin! Funked up, soulful and uplifting house from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free. Revenge Girls On Top. Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes. 10:30pm–4am, free b4 11:30 with passes, 4/5 after. The Basement Box. Chart hit remixes, funky house and dance anthems. 11pm–4am, free.
commercial and camp tunes with DJ Andy B Back by popular demand! Plus unlimited drinks wristbands for £20! 9pm, free. R-Bar The GirlsOnTop Bar. DJ Smiffy brings her best trash, pop and party tunes. 12pm–2am. Revenge The 500th Lollipop. Stewart T provides handbag pop & Lee Harris serve the finest funky house sounds for this massive camp celebration! 10:30pm–5am, free b4 11pm/5/3 after. The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket and DJ Alex Baker. 11pm–4am, free all night!
Saturday 28 Amsterdam Sun Downers. Enjoy the best beach house music in Brighton. 8pm–2am, free. Charles Street Club Mardi Gras. A blend of Gogo Boys, Feathered Girls, HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Ghetto Wigout. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. 10pm, free b4 11 Legends Pre-Ignition. Dance sounds from 7pm. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Marly DJs. Guest DJs and live music. 9pm–2am, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Boutique Theatre. A burlesque extravaganza with a definite edge, that is both sexy and suggestive. 8pm, £10 Queen’s Arms Karaoke Party with Kamp Kevin. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3:30–5:30pm). Then party. Bar open 12pm–12:30am, free. R-Bar Kinky Baby. Dulcie Danger plays to a preclubbing crowd, 9pm. Bar open 12pm–7am, free. Revenge Kinky Dangerous. 4 top DJs, 2 floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 5.5 hours of frolics. 10:30pm–4am, £7/3 The Basement Ignition. Funky house and chart from DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free all night! The PV at The Jury’s Out Saturday Madness. The best in Brighton duets from 4:30pm, then PV’s house DJs take over! Bar open 12pm, free.
Sunday 1 March Amsterdam Sunday Lunch. Roasts (12–5:30pm) and Sunday vibes with cabaret from 8pm, free. Charles Street Bar Showtime. Another cabaret superstar takes to the stage. 7:15pm, free. Ghetto Club Tropicana. Back to the 80s. 9pm. Komedia Bent Double. A consuming brew of comedic delight hosted by Mock The Week's Zoe Lyons. Featuring Jo Caulfield, Andrew O'Neill and Juliet Meyers. 7:30pm, £10/8. Legends Sunday Cabaret and Chill Out. 3:15pm, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Yummy Roasts. Delicious roast and spuds. 12pm Queen's Arms Cabaret & Betty's Karaoke. 12pm, free. The Basement Embrace. Dripping in charty tracks provided by DJ Nick Shepherdson from G-A-Y! 11pm–4am, free.
Friday 27 Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies dished. Bar open 11am. Charles Street Club Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop, 10:30pm–3am, £5/4/3 NUS. Ghetto Popstarz. Playin’ indie recent and retro! 10pm, free b4 11. Legends Pre-Celebration. Pure Pop. 7pm, free. Marlborough Bar & Theatre Girls’ Night. 2 floors of mayhem with guest DJs. 9pm–2am. Queen’s Arms Camp Attack. Definitive handbag,
Jo Caulfield, Sunday
Monday 2 Amsterdam The Monday Musical. Bar open 11am, free. Charles Street Club Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin the best party tracks with mammoth drinks promos. 10pm–2am, £1.50 Ghetto A chaotic mash-up of indie, electro and credible pop plus drinking games! 10pm, free. Legends Dave Lynn and Friends. A hysterical night of cabaret, 9:30pm. Bar open 11pm–5am. Marlborough Trans night. R-Bar Miss Jason‘s Mad House. Cabaret plus a Wii Zone and free pool! 10pm, free. The Basement Back to the 80s and 90s. Nostalgia with Steve Lush. 11pm–4am, free.
➧ Please check with venue before travelling. See our venue directory online for details
latest 7 35
036_LS412_TVIntro
2/19/09
4:44 PM
Page 2
latestTV Dani on TV
She says it how she sees it
Dancing On Ice ITV1, Sunday Okay, okay, I admit it! I have become slightly addicted to watching this. Sunday nights are dull TV-wise at the best of times, and this can be very highly amusing at times. But is anyone else put off by Ray Quinn’s stageschool, winking, over-the-top way of doing anything? There is no doubt that he is probably one of the best ‘celebs’ in the competition, but that doesn’t mean to say I like him. (I realise that he is one of the most popular and I could be hunted down for saying so, but honesty is the best policy.) It really does seem, however, that the TV is constantly bombarded with ‘celebs’ tackling some form of physical movement in order to be potentially either voted off the show or voted the nation’s favourite. All this really seems to do is add more pages to each copy of Heat that hits the newsstands. But ho-hum, we all love it – the Great British cheesy TV programme! I can’t decide who my favourite is. If you have never really paid attention to any of these shows the rules are that you sit at home, become an expert in what is being taken on by the celebs and therefore become one of the judges. You choose your favourite contestant and then you never phone in to vote.
I think my favourites are either Melinda Messenger or Coleen Nolan. I am not sure why. Melinda is either loveable or hateable, and I am afraid I have succumbed to her unusually large grin. Coleen is just funny and could be a member of anyone’s family providing they shopped at Iceland. This light-hearted stuff may be just what the doctor ordered, a bit of jolly in a pretty dismal time. TV snobs will turn their noses up at such a programme, but I think the country as a whole has embraced this type of TV and it is easy to see why. Each week we get to vote as to who we think has a chance to stay in and win the competition. We get to watch celebrities battle it out to win against other celebrities; they wear sparkly outfits and get either praised or criticised by the judging panel. And best of all, they do it all without having to eat any strange creatures! If I was a celeb in want of pushing myself up the ‘star’ list I would choose either Dancing on Ice or Strictly Come Dancing. The hosts of Dancing on Ice (Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby) are a lot less annoying then those on Strictly Come Dancing and they don’t have silly catchphrases, which is a bonus. But as well as the two hosts there are Torvill and Dean, who watch from the sidelines and comment on the celebrities’ progression and performance. But let’s face facts: the reason we all love watching this is because there is a very real possibility that someone will fall over. And they are dropping like flies in this series, which is cruel to laugh at, but it does make the show a bit more daring to partake in and therefore a bit more interesting to watch. 36 latest 7
Films on TV
TUESDAY 24 The Sum Of All Fears ★★★✩✩ (2002, Film4, 9pm. Dir Phil Alden Robinson) As a prequel to Harrison Ford’s Jack Ryan, in steps Ben Affleck learning the ropes within the CIA. As simply an analyst he doesn’t get much lower, but being in the right place at the right time brings him into a thriller of a ride with Morgan Freeman, trying to save America from nuclear terrorists. Impressive effects and action-packed.
WEDNESDAY 25 From Hell ★★★✩✩ (2001, Five, 10pm. Dir Albert Hughes and Allen Hughes) Adapted from the acclaimed graphic novel, clairvoyant police officer Johnny Depp investigates the brutal murders committed by Jack The Ripper in Victorian London. With Heather Graham in peril and Robbie Coltrane on hand to further police investigations nicely.
24 Feb – 2 March Top tips for your week of flicks his lover’s daughter, as well as all the other real-world worries encroaching.
Halloween H2O ★★★✩✩ (1998, BBC1, 11.40pm. Dir Steve Miner) A knowing nod to the original as on the 20th anniversary of its release Jamie Lee Curtis is back playing a deeply paranoid Laurie Strode. She’s changed her name, but Michael Myers has just escaped from the mental facility. Loads of screaming teens are on hand at the private school where she works.
Saturday 28 The Shawshank Redemption
THURSDAY 26
★★★★★ (1994, Channel 4, 9pm. Dir Frank Darabont) Prison drama about the relationship between two inmates of Shawshank State Prison over two decades. When a New England banker begins a double life sentence, he encounters the prison fixer and they become friends. The banker gains respect by giving financial advice to the guards and campaigning for better facilities – but really he just wants his freedom.
The Killing Fields ★★★★★ (1984, ITV3, 11pm. Dir Roland Joffé) Written by Bruce Robinson and based on the true relationship between US journalist Sydney Schanberg – played by Sam Waterston – and his Cambodian guide and source Dith Pran during the war in Cambodia. With a strong supporting cast and an Oscar for Haing S Ngor as Pran, as well as nomination for Waterston, this is an incredible tale.
Wayne’s World ★★★✩✩ (1992, BBC1, 11pm. Dir Penelope Spheeris) Wayne and his nerdy pal Garth are teens who have their own low-rent cable-access show in which they celebrate their favorite female movie stars and heavy-metal bands. When a TV station smells a youth-audience ratings hit, the station’s executive tries to co-opt the show and steal Wayne’s new rock’n’roll girlfriend at the same time.
FRIDAY 27
SUNDAY 1
The Graduate ★★★★✩ (1967, ITV3, 10pm. Dir Mike Nichols) Get ready to bring out all the quotes as a young Dustin Hoffman is asked by Anne Bancroft’s Mrs Robinson; “Would you like me to seduce you?” A complication of relationships develops as he finds himself falling for
SHINE ★★★★✩ (1996, BBC1, 11pm. Dir Scott Hicks) Starring Geoffrey Rush. Raised by a strict father, a piano-playing prodigy’s ability is quickly spotted and, despite his father’s misgivings, is sent to London to study music. With success beckoning, however, his life is thrown into turmoil by a setback which threatens his future career and mental stability.
MONDAY 2 Phone Booth ★★★✩✩ (2002, Channel 4, 10pm. Dir Joel Schumacher) Suspense thriller in which a slick media consultant answers a ringing phone in the street only to be trapped in the booth after being told by the caller – a serial killer with a sniper rifle – that he’ll be shot dead if he hangs up.
037_LS412_TV_tue
2/19/09
4:12 PM
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tuesday 24 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Five, 9pm More CSI from the original and still the best Las Vegas set. Half the team are off dealing with a household shooting, where a woman and her daughter are left for dead. Elsewhere, there’s a suspicious car crash killing two young men for the rest of the team. But what’s Grissom up to?
Shameless Channel 4, 10pm Tragedy and comedy in the Manchester comedy drama, as Karen and Jamie’s relationship is shaken when Karen suffers a miscarriage. The Maguires‘ reaction to losing a grandson doesn’t help matters much either. Meanwhile, Tom and Stan’s prank war reaches dizzying heights, from which falling is an option.
Battlestar Galactica Sky 1, 9pm After last week’s major plot updates coming thick and fast with so much information you’ve got to draw a spider diagram, it’s good to get back to some straightforward plot. Ellen’s back on Galactica. Yay! She’s well chuffed to see Saul. Yay! She’s not chuffed he’s knocked up a Six and is living with her. Oh. Hmm.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Thumb Wrestling Federation 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 Hotel Trubble 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 MySay 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Big And Small 9.15 Numberjacks 9.30 Something Special - Out And About 9.50 Bob The Builder 10.00 Big Barn Farm 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Dangermouse 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Coast 1.05 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 2.05 The World At War 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Flog It!
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish - Celebrity Special
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Build A New Life In The Country - Was It Worth It? 12.30pm Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.10 FILM: For One Night (2006) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 10.00 LIVE Tennis: Dubai Championships 2009 2.00pm H2O Sports International 2.30 World Hockey Monthly 3.00 LIVE Tennis: Dubai Championships 2009 7.00 Football Asia 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Hyundai A League 11.30 Football Asia 12.00am Tennis: Dubai Championships 2009 2.00 Revista De La Liga 3.00 Hyundai A League 3.30 Football Asia 4.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 5.00 Revista De La Liga
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Lucas discovers Patrick’s dark secret and they make a grim pact. Full of grimness it is. 8.00 Holby City The father of Ric’s patient makes a formal complaint when asked to pay for his son’s gastric band, but when the boy crashes and Ric saves his life, Connie is left with a tough decision. More medicine or politics? Was there ever any other way? Vote penicillin. 9.00 Mistresses Siobhan is shocked to discover that her new client is Tom, the man she had a secret liaison with, and that he is determined to continue their affair. Can she resist his charms? What is he – Merlin? 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Make Me Stay Awake Documentary series. Michael Mosley tests the claim that we might only need a few hours of sleep each night. 11.15 Film 2009 With Jonathan Ross The latest film reviews. 11.45 This Way Up Oscar-nominated British animation short. 11.55 Damages American drama. 12.40am Weatherview 12.45 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.15 Media Revolution 1.45 Who Do You Think You Are? 2.45 Lark Rise To Candleford 3.45 Around The World In 80 Faiths 4.45 BBC News
6.00 Battle Of The Brains Quiz 1l. 6.30 Eggheads Quiz 2. 7.00 Who Do You Think You Are? Zoe Wanamaker’s father, American actor Sam Wanamaker, fled to the UK to escape the anti-communist McCarthy witch-hunts, so she heads to Washington DC, where she gains access to his FBI file. 8.00 Oz And James Drink To Britain For the final programme in the series, Oz Clarke and James May are in the Southeast to try British sparkling wine in a Sussex vineyard. 8.30 MasterChef It’s the final week of Masterchef and the three finalists face are feeling the heat in the kitchen. 9.00 Horizon: The Secret Life Of Your Bodyclock Why are you more likely to have a heart attack at eight o’clock in the morning or crash your car on the motorway at two o’clock in the afternoon? The answers to these questions lie in the secret world of the biological clock. 10.00 The Culture Show Lauren Laverne travels to Dublin to interview the world’s biggest rock band - U2. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Arena: Harold Pinter Part two of this film biography explores the relationship between the public and private dimensions of the famous playwright and actor’s life and work. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 Talk German 5.30 Eurografters: Germany
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Marlon and Eli race Laurel and Ashley to see who can reach Jasmine first. Like the Wacky Races with Jas as Penelope Pitstop. 7.30 UEFA Champions League: Inter Milan V Manchester United Steve Rider introduces live coverage from the San Siro in Milan of the first knock-out round, first leg match between Jose Mourinho’s Inter Milan and defending champions Manchester United. Mourinho’s Porto side beat United at this stage in 2003-04 on the way to winning the trophy. With commentary by Peter Drury and Jim Beglin, studio analysis from Andy Townsend and Teddy Sheringham, and pitchside reports from Gabriel Clarke. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 UEFA Champions League Highlights Craig Doyle introduces the best of the action from tonight’s first knock-out round, first leg games. With commentary by Clive Tyldesley and Peter Drury, and studio analysis from Robbie Earle. Kicking a ball about never took up so much space on a single channel without ‘Sports’ in its name. 12.00am Guinness Premiership Rugby 12.55 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.45 Loose Women 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00am Inuk 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.00 How To Dump Your Mates 10.30 Fact Or Fiction 11.30 Year Dot Television 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Checking Into History: Claridge’s 12.50 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.50 FILM: Pickup On South Street (1953) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Amy is reluctant to let Ste look after Leah. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny Tiffany had to grow up quickly when her mum left home, leaving her to become the breadwinner. Too busy to eat, seven stone Tiffany lives on a daily dose of energy drinks. Joining her for the diet swap is Keith, whose eating ballooned him up to 30 stone. Sounds like an episode of Skins. 9.00 Boys And Girls Alone Documentary series. Boys and girls move in together and a budding romance between Maddie and William has village tongues wagging. 10.00 Shameless See highlights. 11.05 The Big Bang Theory Comedy series. Sheldon is mystified when a younger graduate student is attracted to him. Bless. 11.35 My Name Is Earl Frank asks Earl to explain to his girlfriend why he cannot meet up with her, but Billie splits up with Frank when she realises that Earl has seen a picture of her naked. Convoluted much. 12.05am Party Poker: Premier League Poker 1.05 4Sport: Destination 2012 2.00 4Sport: Cycling Revolution 23 2.25 Freesports On 4 2.55 Ironman 3.45 Water Stories (x2) 4.00 Maths Mansion (x7) 5.10 Animated Bible Stories (x4)
6.00 Home And Away Melody is befriended by a waif. Strays on the horizon too. 6.30 Wild Animal ER Les rescues a badger who responds by giving him a nasty bite that sends him to casualty. Never expect gratitude from a badger. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. 8.00 Mr And Mrs Wolf Two-part documentary examining the work of Shaun Ellis and Helen Jeffs as they continue their unique experiment with a pack of captive wolves. Helen’s training enters a dangerous phase as she prepares to start work as a nanny to some new arrivals. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation See highlights. 10.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama. Horatio and his team investigate the death of a college student whose burnt body is found in an SUV while her friend lies unconscious nearby. 11.00 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. When New York’s hottest DJ is found dead minutes before being crowned the undisputed scratching champion, Detective Mac Taylor is thrust into the world of hip-hop. 12.00am The FBI Files 1.00 NBA Basketball 4.00 NHRA Drag Racing 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home & Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Big League Weekend 9.30 Poker 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30pm Big League Weekend 2.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 3.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 4.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 5.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.30 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 11.30 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 12.30am Sports Unlimited 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 3.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.30am World Hockey Monthly 7.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 8.00 International Netball 10.00 Powder Adventures 10.30 Wild Spirits 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Fishing: Bass Fishing 1.00 Powder Adventures 1.30 Wild Spirits 2.00 Max Power 3.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.00 Fishing: Bass Fishing 5.00 WWE: Smackdown 7.00 Airsports World 7.30 Powder Adventures 8.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 9.00 Tennis: Dubai Tennis Championships 11.00 Max Power 12.00am Bass Fishing 1.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 2.00 Close Victoria Nangle
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1.00pm UK Border Force 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 A Town Called Eureka 9.00 Battlestar Galactica. See highlights. 10.00 Real Slumdog Millionaire 11.00 Ross Kemp: Return To Afghanistan 12.00am Lost
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Freaky Eaters 9.00 Naked: Cabbies 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Grownups 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Naked: Cabbies 12.45am Freaky Eaters 1.40 Grownups 2.10 Snog Marry Avoid? 2.40 The Undercover Princes 3.40 Being Human
7.00pm News 7.30 Coal House At War 8.00 Lloyd George: The People’s Champion 9.30 Early Doors 10.00 Mad Men 10.45 Party Animals 11.35 We Need Answers 12.05am The Book Quiz 12.35 Football Worlds: The Game Of Their Lives 1.55 Lloyd George: The People’s Champion 3.25 The Book Quiz
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 The Hot Desk 8.00 Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend 9.00 Coleen’s Real Women 10.00 FILM: Manhunter (1986) 12.25am Entourage (x2)
12.15pm Heartbeat 1.20 Pie In The Sky 2.20 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.30 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.30 Surgical Spirit 5.05 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Marple 10.00 Ladies Of Letters 10.30 FILM: Ray (2004) 1.25am Inspector Morse 3.05 Poirot
12.40pm Scrubs (x2) 1.40 Smallville 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 10.00 Reaper 11.00 Shameless 12.10am Skins 1.10 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 My Name Is Earl
1.10pm Deal Or No Deal 2.00 Hill Street Blues 3.00 A Place By The Sea 4.05 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 True Stories: Trouble The Water 12.00am Come Dine With Me
12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 8.00 America’s Next Top Model 9.00 New Most Haunted 10.00 Ghost Whisperer 11.00 CSI 12.00am Home Video Heroes (x2) 1.00 Charmed
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
5.40pm Ever Decreasing Circles 6.20 Keeping Up Appearances 7.00 My Family 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Blackadder Goes Forth 10.20 The Royle Family 11.00 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.40 A Bit Of Fry And Laurie 12.20am Blackadder Goes Forth
1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 South Park 9.30 Scrubs 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x2) 12.10am South Park
2.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Storm Chasers 9.00 Storm Chasers 10.00 Alaska’s Great Race 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting
11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: Nature Unleashed: Tornado (2004) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 The Invisible Man 7.00 Angel 8.00 FILM: Dark Storm (2006) 9.40 FILM: Minority Report (2002) 12.30am FILM: Mimic: Sentinel (2003)
11.10am Road To Utopia (1945) 12.45pm The Snows Of Kilimanjaro (1952) 2.40 The Great Man’s Lady (1942) 4.15 The Movie Geek 4.45 Sullivan’s Travels (1941) 6.50 Duel In The Sun (1946) 9.00 The Bible (1966) 11.55 Road To Utopia (1945) 1.30am The Movie Geek
9.00am Across The Universe (2007) 11.15 The Singer (2006) 1.10pm The Movie Geek 1.40 Gloria (1980) 3.45 December Boys (2007) 5.35 Across The Universe (2007) 7.50 Rescue Dawn (2006) 10.00 The Good German (2005) 11.55 Gloria (1980) 2.00am The Page Turner (2006)
1.00pm The Guinea Pig (1948) 2.55 Seance On A Wet Afternoon (1964) 5.10 Porridge (1979) 7.00 Ladies In Lavender (2004) 9.00 The Sum Of All Fears (2002) 11.20 The Player (1992) 1.45am Yes (2004) 3.45 Close
8.40am Goodbye Mr Chips (1969) 11.25 Crazy From The Heart (1991) 1.05pm Hooper (1978) 3.00 Assignment To Kill (1969) 4.55 Now, Voyager (1942) 7.05 Seven Brides For Seven Brothers (1954) 9.00 Mad Dog And Glory (1993) 11.00 Midnight Cowboy (1969) 1.10am Mad Dog And Glory (1993)
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038_LS412_TV_wed
2/18/09
2:34 PM
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wednesday 25 The Rise Of The Superchef BBC2, 9pm It used to be that single named celebs were musicians like Cher or Madonna. Now everybody knows who you’re talking about if you mention Delia or Nigella – or even Gordon and Jamie! How did British cuisine go from boiled beef gags to international acclaim? With access to the names themselves, this is how.
Desperate Housewives Channel 4, 10pm The ladies who lunch are still finding as much as ever to twitch their pristine net curtains at. Bree has put her perfect cheesecake to one side and is dead set on proving to Andrew that she accepts him for who he is. After she dumped him on a motorway, good luck to her. Plus Lynette takes action to protect her son.
FM ITV2, 10.30pm Kicking off tonight is this brand new series from the producer of Peep Show. Sending up the ludicrosity of DJs (who make up words like ‘ludicrosity’) this follows the adventures of Lindsay, who is trying to be a superstar club DJ, and Dom, trying to escape his boyband past. Plus their mate Jane.
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BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Thumb Wrestling Federation 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 Gastronuts 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 MySay 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Big And Small 9.15 Numberjacks 9.30 Something Special - Out And About 9.50 Bob The Builder 10.00 Big Barn Farm 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Wildlife On Two 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Coast 2.05 The World At War 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Flog It!
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish - Celebrity Special
6.00am Inuk 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.00 How To Dump Your Mates 10.30 Fact Or Fiction 11.30 Year Dot Television 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.30 FILM: Hell And High Water (1954) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Build A New Life In The Country - Was It Worth It? 12.30pm Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.05 FILM: Recipe For Revenge (1998) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am LIVE International Cricket: 1st Twenty20 9.00 Football Asia 10.00 Live Tennis: Dubai Championships 2009 2.00pm Football Asia 2.30 Hyundai A League 3.00 LIVE Tennis: Dubai Championships 2009 6.00 Football: UEFA Champions League Pre-game Show 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am European Tour Weekly 12.30 Total Rugby 1.00 Boots ‘n’ All 2.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 You’re On Sky Sports 5.00 Boots ‘n’ All
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out Local magazine programme looks at exotic fish farming in Sussex. 8.00 Waterloo Road Drama series. Rachel and Eddie are left glowing when Waterloo Road receives an encouraging report from the school inspectors, but hidden truths come to light as the day unfolds. Couldn’t last. 9.00 Nature’s Great Events Each year, over a million wildebeest and zebra invade the Serengeti, making it a paradise for the predators that live there. The cameras follow the moving story of one lion family’s survival until the return of the great migration. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Jamelia hosts the Thunderball. Gives it cheese on sticks and everything. 10.45 Movie Connections Cast members including Helen Mirren, Julie Walters and Celia Imrie discuss the making of their 2003 smash Calendar Girls. 11.25 FILM: Millions (2004) Starring James Nesbitt, Daisy Donovan. Heart-warming fantasy adventure. 1.00am Weatherview 1.05 Sign Zone: Explore: Istanbul And Anatolia 2.05 Explore: Turkey On The Edge 2.35 Swarm: Nature’s Incredible Invasions 3.35 BBC News
6.00 Battle Of The Brains Quiz show hosted by Nicky Campbell. 6.30 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz. 7.00 Escape To The Country Jules Hudson is in Gloucestershire helping a retired couple who want to leave suburbia for the perfect country retreat closer to their grown-up children. Snoop more like. 8.00 MasterChef It is the penultimate test for the three Masterchef finalists. 9.00 The Rise Of The Superchef See highlights. 10.00 QI Panel-based quiz where the aim is to be interesting. Stephen Fry forges forward into the future with Sean Lock, Rob Brydon, Ben Miller and Alan Davies. Giggle-worthy and a fab way to brighten up a midweek. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Jeremy Paxman. Just to sober you up a bit after the giggling. 11.20 Portillo On Thatcher: The Lady’s Not For Spurning Former cabinet minister Michael Portillo assesses the legacy and continued influence of Margaret Thatcher on the Conservative Party. He talks with former colleagues about the highs on the Thatcher years and the lows that followed for the Tories. 12.50am Mad Men 1.35 BBC News 4.00 Talk Greek 1-6
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Daz is worried that Scarlett wants to tie the knot. Isn’t he still 12 or something?! 7.30 Coronation Street Liz leaves Becky in charge - with disastrous consequences. All the snakebite she could neck gone in an afternoon? 8.00 The Bill While on patrol in the local Polish community, PCs Millie Brown and Mel Ryder come across a group of teens menacing a burger vendor. Taking the ring leader, Pawel, into custody, they enlist the help of half-Polish DS Max Carter to interrogate the suspect and find out how well-connected this kid is. 9.00 Taggart When an adulterous college principal is crushed to death in a lift, the preliminary investigation into his death discovers that the lift mechanism was deliberately sabotaged, and the finger of suspicion points to the dead man’s wife. Too straightforward. Next! 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Cops With Cameras The programme goes on the front-line with police as they wage war on drug dealing, theft and street violence. 11.35 Nightwatch With Steve Scott - Action Stations 12.30am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.25 Loose Women 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Calvin and Carmel target the Loft for a smash and grab, while an oblivious Warren is inside harbouring 40 stolen laptops. Plus Ste tells Dom about his stolen kiss with Amy. Why Amy?! Ste is so grotty and Josh is such a good person. It’s those bad boy vibes she can’t resist. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Relocation, Relocation Property experts Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer revisit a couple they helped relocate to Lancashire from London. 9.00 Grand Designs Property series following householders as they build their own homes. Brighton couple Daren Howarth and Adi Nortje build a home from recycled materials in Brittany, France, enlisting the help of unskilled volunteers. Bet they’ll want to visit though. 10.00 Desperate Housewives See highlights. 11.05 Shameless Gritty comedy drama series set on a Manchester estate. Repeat of Tuesday’s episode. 12.05am 4 Music: Spectacle: Elvis Costello With... Renee Fleming 1.10 FILM: Unconditional Love (2002) 3.20 Hill Street Blues 4.10 Time Team 5.00 Countdown 5.45 Grabbit The Rabbit 5.55 The Hoobs
6.00 Home And Away Can Ruby compete with Freya the temptress? That’s her name on her passport and everything. Bullied terribly at school. 6.30 Wild Animal ER Nurse Francesca tries to dig out a stubborn badger from under a garden shed. They’re not like daffodils – s’hard! 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Extraordinary Animals Documentary profiling remarkable animals from across the globe. 8.00 Ice Road Truckers Documentary series examining the dangerous job of driving trucks on Canada’s notorious ice highways. 9.00 Minder Comedy drama. Archie asks Jamie to mind the beautiful young widow of his former business associate. Suspecting that the grieving woman may be responsible for her husband’s death, Archie enlists the help of a psychic to find out what she is hiding. 10.00 FILM: From Hell (2001) Starring Johnny Depp, Heather Graham, Ian Holm. Atmospheric crime thriller about a clairvoyant policeman’s efforts to apprehend notorious serial killer Jack the Ripper in fogbound Victorian London. Adapted from the graphic novel. 12.20am PartyPoker.com Poker Den: Big Game III 1.50 A1 Grand Prix 2.35 NHRA Drag Racing 4.00 NHL Ice Hockey5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Powder Adventures 9.30 Airsports World 10.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 11.00 Poker: Million $ Cash Game 12.00pm Football Asia 12.30 Football: UEFA Champions League 1.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 2.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 3.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 4.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 4.30 Cricket: Twenty20 International 6.30 Boots ‘n’ All 7.30 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.30 Cricket: Twenty20 International 12.30am World Golf Championship 4.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 Sports Unlimited 10.00 Fishing 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Powder Adventures 1.30 Airsports World 2.00 NFL: Total Access 3.00 Pool 4.00 WWE The Bottom Line 5.00 WWE Afterburn 6.00 LIVE Tennis: Dubai Championships 7.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 Boots ‘n’ All 12.00am Trans World Sport 1.00 Tenpin Bowling 2.00 Watersports World 3.00 Tennis: Dubai Championships 5.00 Close Victoria Nangle
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12.00pm Don’t Forget The Lyrics 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Project Runway 9.00 FILM: Sleepless In Seattle (1993) 11.05 Bones 12.05am Road Wars (x2) 2.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2)
7.00pm Freaky Eaters 8.00 The Real Hustle: High Stakes (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Girl Next Door (2004) 10.40 Little Britain USA 11.05 Family Guy (x2) 11.55 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 12.55am Freaky Eaters 1.55 Naked: Cabbies 2.50 The Undercover Princes 3.50 Snog Marry Avoid? 4.20 Naked: Cabbies 5.30 Close
7.00pm News 7.30 Britain’s Best Drives 8.00 Secret Life Of The Motorway 9.00 Caravans: A British Love Affair 10.00 FILM: Zidane: A 21st Century Portrait (2006) 11.30 From A To B: Tales Of Modern Motoring 12.20am 6 Days To Saturday 1.00 The Golden Vision 2.15 Caravans: A British Love Affair
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Sugababes: The Hot Desk 8.00 Fat Teens In Love 9.00 Gossip Girl 10.00 Celebrity Juice 10.30 FM. See highlights. 11.00 Coronation Street 11.30 FILM: Top Gun (1986)
12.15pm Heartbeat 1.15 Pie In The Sky 2.20 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.30 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.30 Surgical Spirit 5.00 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Pie In The Sky 7.55 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Ladies Of Letters 9.30 Rising Damp 10.00 FILM: The Mission (1986) 12.25am Numb3rs
12.45pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Ghosts Of Mars (2001) 11.00 90210 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 12.55 My Name Is Earl 1.25 90210
4.05pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Dispatches: The Problem Princes 10.00 Father Ted 10.35 The IT Crowd 11.00 TV Heaven, Telly Hell 11.40 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 12.40am Father Ted
11.00am The Jerry Springer Show (x2) 12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy 9.00 Rehab 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI 12.00am Home Video Heroes (x2) 1.00 Charmed
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
5.40pm Ever Decreasing Circles 6.20 The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin 7.00 My Family 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Blackadder Goes Forth 10.20 The Royle Family At Christmas 11.00 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.40 A Bit Of Fry And Laurie 12.20am Blackadder Goes Forth
1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x4) 1.10am Frasier (x2) 2.10 World Stands Up
1.00pm Forensic Detectives 2.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Storm Chasers 9.00 Solved 10.00 Murder Shift 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)
11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: Edward Scissorhands (1990) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 The Invisible Man 7.00 Angel 8.00 FILM: Abominable (2006) 9.50 FILM: Cerberus (2005) 11.40 FILM: The Foreigner (2003) 1.30am Ghost Stories
11.25am Custer Of The West (1968) 1.50pm Lover Come Back (1961) 3.40 Teacher’s Pet (1958) 5.45 Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 7.25 The Phantom Of The Opera (1943) 9.00 The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938) 10.45 Too Late The Hero (1970) 1.00am California (1946)
9.00am Tell No One (2006) 11.15 Mumford (1999) 1.15pm The Movie Geek 1.45 The Namesake (2006) 3.50 Days Of Glory (2005) 6.00 Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) 8.00 Mumford (1999) 10.00 Clerks II (2006) 11.40 Sex, Lies And Videotape (1989) 1.25am Hana-Bi (1997) 3.15 Clerks II (2006)
1.00pm World For Ransom (1954) 2.40 An American Guerrilla In The Philippines (1950) 4.50 Battle Of The River Plate (1956) 7.10 Dancing At Lughnasa (1998) 9.00 Transamerica (2005) Felicity Hoffman as a transgendered woman meeting her son. 11.00 Wilderness (2006) 12.50am Indecent Proposal (1993)
8.50am Now, Voyager (1942) 10.55 Arsenic And Old Lace (1944) 1.05pm Which Way To The Front? (1970) 3.00 Great Catherine (1968) 4.55 Gunfight At Comanche Creek (1964) 6.45 The Searchers (1956) 9.00 The Hand (1981) 11.00 Badlands (1973) 12.50am The Hand (1981) 2.45 Badlands (1973)
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039_LS412_TV_thu
2/19/09
4:20 PM
Page 1
thursday 26 Masterchef BBC2, 8pm It’s the final! Don’t bother with anything more than fish fingers tonight because all dinners will feel pathetic after this viewing. The last baptism of fire sees the final three cook in Europe’s finest Michelin starred restaurants and then return to prepare their final three-course meals. Who will seize victory by the pan handle?
Snowstorm: Britain’s Big Freeze Channel 4, 10pm Encouraging climate paranoia or calming and explaining all of those whirly curls placed carefully on this month’s earlier weather map? This topical documentary looks at that mad week earlier this month and this country’s history with its weather. Classic British conversation.
Brothers And Sisters More4, 10pm The extended family with more skeletons than Hallowe’en continues utilising its impressive cast fantastically. Cheques and balances are in order between Kevin and Scotty as the former’s pay cut leads him to overcompensate by buying Scotty a dream home. Whoa there Tiger! Justin plays matchmaker for Saul.
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sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Thumb Wrestling Federation 3.30 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 Eliot Kid 4.05 Prank Patrol 4.35 Little Howard’s Big Question 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Big And Small 9.15 Numberjacks 9.30 Something Special - Out And About 9.50 Bob The Builder 10.00 Big Barn Farm 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Dangermouse 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Coast 1.05 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 2.05 The World At War 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Flog It!
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish - Celebrity Special
6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.00 How To Dump Your Mates 10.30 Fact Or Fiction 11.30 Year Dot Television 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.35 FILM: The Last Wagon (1956) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 Sailing World Match Tour: Bermuda World Cup 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Licence To Le Mans 8.30 LIVE Test Cricket 1.30pm LIVE Test Cricket 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket 9.30 Test Cricket 10.30 Time Of Our Lives 11.30 Tennis: Dubai Tennis Championships 2009 1.30am Darts: Premier League 2009 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 Golf World Match Tour: Bermuda World Cup
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Ian’s midlife crisis drives him towards body art, and Pat gives Janine what she deserves. Hopefully a good hiding! 8.00 Rogue Traders Matt Allwright witnesses some hair-raising moments with a chainsaw as rogue tree surgeons get to work in Wales. Cautionary tales for us all. 8.30 The Green Green Grass Rural sitcom. 9.00 Crimewatch Kirsty Young and the team work with the police to appeal for help in cracking unsolved cases and bringing criminals to justice. Among the cases are the hunt for the arsonist who murdered a young child, and the elderly war veteran who fought back but was left for dead by callous thugs. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Crimewatch Update Updates on recently-featured cases. 10.45 Question Time David Dimbleby chairs the discussion in Merthyr Tydfil. 11.45 This Week Who says it’s not thier fault in politics this week. 12.30am Skiing Weatherview 12.35 Sign Zone: Panorama 1.05 Watchdog 1.35 It’s Not Easy Being Green 2.05 Countryfile 3.00 BBC News
6.00 Battle Of The Brains Quiz show hosted by Nicky Campbell. 6.30 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz. 7.00 Oz And James Drink To Britain Oz sets to work making his own beer, which is based on an old Elizabethan recipe. 7.30 James Caan’s Jobs Caan, who made his fortune in recruitment, gives practical advice to those who have just been made unemployed and asks what individuals, businesses and the government can do to ease the pain of cutting jobs. A Money Programme Special. 8.00 MasterChef See highlights. 9.00 Margaret Drama. On 12th November 1990, Mrs Thatcher is preparing for her speech at the Lord Mayor’s banquet, while Geoffrey Howe, her quietly-spoken former foreign secretary and chancellor, is penning the resignation speech that was to stun the country and seal her fate. The next day Howe makes his lethal speech in the Houses of Parliament and the final ten days of Margaret Thatcher’s reign begin. 10.50 Newsnight 11.40 The Making Of The Iron Lady Using unseen archive footage, new filming and interviews with those closest to the action. 12.40am Iran And The West 1.40 BBC News 4.00 Talk Portuguese 5.30 Brazil Inside Out
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Eli hatches another plan to help Debbie. How much faith has a sane person got in Eli succeeding? 7.30 The Krypton Factor Four semifinalists face an epic battle of brain power and physical strength. 8.00 The Bill Responding to a report of a shooting at Julie’s house, DS Carter discovers that her uncle Cezar has been killed. A distraught Julie reveals that she warned Pawel about the sting, and when Marek is finally arrested and questioned, he implicates the youth in the shooting. 9.00 Billy Connolly: Journey To The Edge Of The World Billy continues his journey through some of the more remote regions of Canada. On this leg of the trip, he goes through Baffin Island, home of the hardy Inuit. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Dexter Crime drama. After a fire at Lila’s place, Dexter finds her becoming more attached to him than he is comfortable with. He also decides that recovery is not working for him. Best to relapse then. Hmm. 11.35 The Last Word A look at some of the big stories in the region. 12.05am FILM: Peeping Tom (1960) 1.50 Crossing Jordan 2.35 Loose Women 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Calvin and Carmel are about to set off for a drive in the country when something familiar catches Calvin’s eye in the car park. Ste plays hard to get when Theresa suggests they hook up, and heads off to play football with Natty. Git. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 10 Years Younger: The Challenge A woman whose looks have been lost to fags and booze opts for surgery, while another opts for non-surgical anti-ageing methods. Whatever happened to wearing your life on your face with pride? 9.00 Love, Life, Death In The Day A day in the life of 21st century Britain through the births, deaths and marriages that occur over 24 hours. 10.00 Snowstorm: Britain’s Big Freeze See highlights. 11.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon meets Peter Matthews, a Long Island chef nearly a million dollars in debt. 12.05am 4 Music: Shockwaves Album Chart Show 12.40 Tony Christie: Going Home 1.10 Bright Young Wonders 1.15 Rockfeedback 1.45 Mama Lou 1.55 Break In And Make My Day! 2.20 1300 CC 2.30 Dispatches: The Problem Princes 3.20 Hill Street Blues 4.10 Time Team 5.00 Countdown 5.45 Grabbit The Rabbit 5.55 The Hoobs
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Build A New Life In The Country - Was It Worth It? 12.30pm Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.10 FILM: The Matthew Shepard Story (2002) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Nicole throws a disastrous dinner party. The soufflé just dropped like a stone! 6.30 Wild Animal ER Documentary series based at Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Buckinghamshire. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Animal Rescue Squad Wildlife series with Michaela Strachan and Matt Baker. 8.00 Steam Train Monster Moves A team of experts attempt to transport a vintage locomotive 10,000km across two continents. The steam engine is being taken back to a museum in Glasgow, the city where it was built, but first it must be removed from its resting place in the middle of the South African bush. What it’s doing there is anybody’s guess. Runaway train? 9.00 FILM: Freedomland (2006) Starring Samuel L Jackson, Julianne Moore, Edie Falco, Ron Eldard. Drama in which a police detective investigates when a white single mother reports that her young son has been kidnapped by a black man from the housing projects. Amidst the racial tension that erupts, the detective uncovers a web of deceit that leads back to the boy’s mother. 11.15 Police Interceptors Documentary series. 12.15am Quiz Call 4.00 NBA Basketball 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Sailing 9.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.00 LIVE Tennis: Dubai Tennis Championships 2.00pm Sailing 2.30 Licence To Le Mans 3.00 Live Tennis: Dubai Tennis Championships 7.00 LIVE Darts: Premier League 10.30 Barclays Premier League World 11.00 LIVE Sky Poker Five-OO 1.00am The Rugby Club 2.30 Barclays Premier League World 3.00 Poker 5.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 International Netball 9.00 Powder Adventures 9.30 Licence To Le Mans 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm International Netball 2.00 NFL: Total Access 3.00 LIVE Dubai International Racing Carnival 7.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 European Tour Golf 2.00am NFL: Total Access 3.00 Tennis: Dubai Tennis Championships 5.00 Close
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
12.00pm Don’t Forget The Lyrics 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Hello Goodbye 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Real Slumdog Millionaire 1.00 Cold Case
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Naked: Cabbies 9.00 Baby Borrowers USA 9.45 The Real Hustle 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Heroes 11.10 Family Guy (x2) 12.00am Baby Borrowers USA 12.40 Naked: Cabbies 1.40 Snog Marry Avoid? 2.10 Paparazzi: Next Generation
7.00pm World News Today 7.40 The New Avengers 8.30 Britain’s Best Drives 9.00 Touring Britain 10.00 Michael Smith’s Drivetime 10.30 We Need Answers 11.00 The Joy Of Motoring 12.00am Touring Britain 1.00 Michael Smith’s Drivetime 1.30 We Need Answers 2.00 Britain’s Best Drives 2.30 Touring Britain
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Robyn: The Hot Desk 8.00 American Idol 9.00 Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend 10.00 American Idol 11.00 Supernatural 12.00am Entourage (x2)
1.25pm Pie In The Sky 2.35 Monarch Of The Glen 3.40 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.40 Surgical Spirit 5.15 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Flashpoint 11.00 FILM: The Killing Fields (1984) 1.45am Inspector Morse
1.40pm Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 My Name Is Earl 9.30 The Big Bang Theory 10.00 Skins 11.05 The Inbetweeners 11.35 Peep Show 12.05am Scrubs (x2)
3.00pm A Place By The Sea 4.05 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Secret Millionaire 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 ER 10.00 Brothers And Sisters. See highlights. 11.00 Without A Trace 12.00am ER 1.00 Brothers And Sisters
11.00am The Jerry Springer Show (x2) 12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 8.00 Rehab 9.00 CSI 10.00 Grey’s Anatomy 11.00 CSI 12.00am Home Video Heroes (x2) 1.00 Charmed
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
5.00pm Citizen Smith 5.40 Ever Decreasing Circles 6.20 The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin 7.00 My Family 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Blackadder Goes Forth 10.20 The Royle Family 11.40 A Bit Of Fry And Laurie 12.20am Blackadder Goes Forth 1.00 The Royle Family
2.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x3) 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x2) 12.10am Two And A Half Men 12.40 Frasier (x2)
2.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Raging Nature 9.00 Solved 10.00 Crime Scene Forensics 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting
12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: Dark Storm (2006) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 The Invisible Man 7.00 Angel 8.00 FILM: The Sword Of Xanten (2004) 9.00 Sanctuary 10.00 FILM: The Foreigner (2003) 12.00am FILM: Emmanuelle 2000: Jewel Of Emmanuelle (2000)
12.00pm Shenandoah (1965) 1.50 Here Come The Waves (1944) 3.30 Anne Of The Thousand Days (1969) 5.55 The Disorderly Orderly (1964) 9.00 Shenandoah (1965) 10.50 Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here (1969) 12.30am The Far Country (1955) 2.20 I’ll Never Forget What’s ‘is Name (1969)
9.00am Ten Canoes (2006) 10.35 Fire (1996) 12.35pm Earth (1998) 2.30 For Your Consideration (2006) 4.00 Tumbleweeds (1999) 5.50 The Passenger (1975) 8.00 Black Snake Moan (2006) 10.00 The Serpent (2006) 12.05am Mulholland Drive (2001) 2.35 The Passenger (1975) 4.45 The Top 10
1.00pm The City That Never Sleeps (1953) 2.45 Kipps (1942) 4.55 Belles On Their Toes (1952) 6.40 Batman And Robin (1997) Camp as Christmas starring George Clooney and Chris O’Donnell. 9.00 The Magdalene Sisters (2002) 11.15 Movie Rush 11.20 Bully (2001) 1.30am Get Over It (2001)
9.10am The Bramble Bush (1960) 11.00 She’s Back On Broadway (1953) 1.00pm The Big Sleep (1946) 3.00 The Abdication (1974) 4.55 One Spy Too Many (1966) 6.50 Pride And Prejudice (1940) 9.00 Spies Like Us (1985) 11.00 The Candidate (1972) 1.05am Spies Like Us (1985) 2.55 The Candidate (1972)
Classics
Indie
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friday 27 Al Murray’s Multiple Personality Disorder ITV1, 9.30pm Award-winning comic Al Murray is stepping out of his Pub Landlord persona and dipping his toe into alternative characters. Is he a one-trick pony or a master of all faces? New characters include a prurient dad meeting his daughter’s new boyfriend, and an indecisive footballer.
Free Agents Channel 4, 10pm The talent agency comedy continues with Helen and Alex being told by Stephen to go to a rival agent’s funeral to pay the company’s respects – and steal clients. Helen’s last funeral was her fiance’s so she decides to drink through the difficulty, while Alex antagonises a young actor. Mission somewhat thwarted.
Coleen’s Real Women ITV2, 8pm Mrs Rooney is gathering up more ‘real women’ to compete against professional models for lucrative modelling jobs. Can a pretty girl beat a size zero vintage clothes horse in the race to be the face of the new Wonderbra campaign? Where curves are an asset, this should keep Col’s ladies in with a chance.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 ChuckleVision 3.40 Pinky And Perky 3.50 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 4.05 Outback 8 4.35 The Legend Of Dick And Dom 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Big And Small 9.15 Numberjacks 9.30 Something Special - Out And About 9.50 Bob The Builder 10.00 Big Barn Farm 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Dangermouse 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Coast 1.05 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 2.05 The World At War 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Flog It!
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish - Celebrity Special
6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.00 Sweet Sixteen 10.30 Rome: The Model Empire 11.30 Year Dot Television 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Brief History Of Fun 12.50 Back To You 1.20 FILM: Bear Island (1979) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Build A New Life In The Country - Was It Worth It? 12.30pm Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.10 FILM: Prayers For Bobby (2009) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am LIVE International Cricket: 2nd Twenty20 9.00 LIVE Test Cricket 1.30pm LIVE Test Cricket 6.30 LIVE Test Cricket 9.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am Big League Weekend 1.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 1.30 Off The Bar 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Big League Weekend 5.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 5.30 Off The Bar
6.00 Battle Of The Brains Quiz show hosted by Nicky Campbell. 6.30 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz. 7.00 Once A Soldier Documentary series about the Chelsea Pensioners, former British soldiers who live in the Royal Hospital in Chelsea. 7.30 Mastermind Topics are John Wesley, Seinfeld, Kazimir Malevich and the Wars of the Roses. 8.00 Six Nations Rugby John Inverdale hosts coverage of the clash between the 2008 Grand Slam winners Wales and France at the Stade de France. Whatever the result, history will be made in Paris as it’s the first-ever Six Nations match to be played on a Friday evening. 10.00 Rab C Nesbitt Comedy featuring Scotland’s angry middleaged man. When his friend Andra has a heart attack, Rab decides his sleep problem is spiritual. He retreats to the public park and seeks counsel from three new acquaintances. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review Round table arts and culture discussion programme with Kirsty Wark. 11.35 The Culture Show Uncut Lauren Laverne travels to Dublin to interview the world’s biggest rock band – U2. 12.20am Medium (x2) 1.45 Nero Wolfe Mysteries
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Eli visits Danielle as the Dingles receive some shocking news from the prison. 7.30 Coronation Street Becky’s engagement delight is soured by Michelle. She is entitled. Share a ring and have a grump – them’s the rules. 8.00 The Love Industry: Tonight Jonathan Maitland explores the singles scene 8.30 Coronation Street Luke and Tony agree to an uneasy truce. 9.00 Moving Wallpaper Second series of the TV-based comedy. The team face a new challenge to come up with a hit show for ITV. Cornish surfing soap Echo Beach has been cancelled and the writers are out of a job. Can egocentric producer Jonathan Pope find his next big idea? 9.30 Al Murray’s Multiple Personality Disorder See highlights. 10.00 Pushing Daisies Ned, Chuck, Olive and Emerson go undercover at a Chinese restaurant. 11.00 The Late News; Weather 11.35 FILM: The Truth About Charlie (2002) Stars Mark Wahlberg, Thandie Newton. Jonathan Demme’s remake of classic film Charade. 1.20am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.10 FILM: At The Earth’s Core (1976) 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 A Question Of Sport Lighthearted sports quiz. 8.00 EastEnders Ian’s 40th birthday party in the Queen Vic goes from a glittering celebration to shameful embarrassment. Was it ever going to be anything else? 8.30 Outtake TV Anne Robinson delves into the EastEnders archives. 9.00 QI Panel-based quiz where the aim is to be interesting. Stephen Fry is joined by John Sergeant, Jimmy Carr, Jo Brand and Alan Davies. 9.30 Not Going Out Sitcom. A new neighbour moves in upstairs, and his noise drives Lucy to distraction. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Jonathan is joined in the studio by evergreen broadcasting legend Sir David Attenborough, Hollywood Britpackers Emily Blunt and Clive Owen. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.40 FILM: Halloween H20 (1998) Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Josh Hartnett. An addition to the longrunning horror franchise. 1.00am Weatherview 1.05 Sign Zone: Horizon: Can We Make A Star On Earth? 2.05 Iran And The West 3.05 Swarm: Nature’s Incredible Invasions 4.05 BBC News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Il Gnosh strains under the pressure of three-strongwilled females on a mission. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.35 Hello Dollies Cat McShane delves into the world of adult dolls house enthusiasts, and meets some very British eccentrics as she tries to find out what attracts people to create tiny worlds. 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away Jonnie and Jasmin help Paul and Sylvia Northam decide whether to spend £350,000 on a new home in the New Forest, or a property on the Costa Blanca coastline in Spain. 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon meets Anthony Trobiano, an executive chef who is struggling under half a million dollars. Despite being thrown a financial lifeline by his partner’s parents, who gave him their life savings, the business is failing and so is his relationship. Quelle surprise. 10.00 Free Agents See highlights. 10.30 Lee Mack Live Lee Mack performs live at Bloomsbury Theatre. 11.35 Shockwaves NME Awards 2009 Mark Watson hosts the NME Awards from the Brixton Academy. 1.10am 4 Music: JD Set Presents: Les Gars 1.30 Betfair World Series Of Poker Europe 2.25 Trans World Sport 3.15 Hill Street Blues 4.05 Time Team 4.55 Countdown 5.50 Hoobs
6.00 Home And Away Belle hits rock bottom after a dreadful first day at work. That didn’t take long. 6.30 Wild Animal ER An escaped weasel gives Tiggywinkles staff the runaround. Almost a bedtime story. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Rough Guide To Weekend Getaways Toby searches for respite from the heat in steamy Madrid. Elsewhere, Julia takes a peaceful break in Provence. 8.00 Police Interceptors Documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex. 9.00 NCIS US drama series following the work of the Navy’s dedicated federal agency. The investigation into the assassination of a rear admiral takes an unexpected twist when it emerges that the intended target was actually a political refugee from Burundi. Acrobats – now there are unexpected twists. 10.00 Numb3rs Detective drama. The agents attempt to rescue passengers trapped inside a train that derailed when it collided with a lorry. 11.00 Criminal Minds Drama series. The team recreates a shooting in order to catch a sniper who preys on victims in the middle of the day. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 Tim Marlow On... Hogarth With Ian Hislop 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 9.30 Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Live Tennis: Dubai Tennis Championships 12.00pm Football: UEFA Champions League 12.30 Football: UEFA Champions League 1.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 1.30 Football: UEFA Champions League 2.00 Football: UEFA Champions League 2.30 Football: UEFA Champions League 3.00 Live Tennis: Dubai Tennis Championships 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 Off The Bar 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 Test Cricket 12.30am Volvo Ocean Race 1.00 Super League 3.00 Volvo Ocean Race 3.30 Gillette World Sport 4.00 Super League
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Powder Adventures 9.30 Barclays Premier League World 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Darts: Premier League 3.00pm Trans World Sport 4.00 NFL: Total Access 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 European Tour Golf 2.00am International Netball 4.00 Tight Lines 5.00 Powder Adventures 5.30 Gillette World Sport
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
12.00pm Don’t Forget The Lyrics 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (X2) 8.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Night Cops 11.00 Ross Kemp: Return To Afghanistan 12.00am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 The Real Hustle Las Vegas 8.10 Doctor Who 9.00 Being Human 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Grownups 11.00 Snog Marry Avoid? 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Little Britain USA 12.40 Being Human 1.40 Grownups 2.10 Snog Marry Avoid? 2.40 Naked: Cabbies 3.40 Freaky Eaters 4.35 The Real Hustle
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Bartok And Van Gogh: Partners In Art 9.00 Legends: The Beverley Sisters - Tickled Pink 10.00 FILM: Calendar Girls (2003) 11.40 Mad Men 12.30am The New Avengers 1.20 Legends: The Beverley Sisters - Tickled Pink 2.20 Bartok And Van Gogh: Partners In Art 5.30 Close
5.15pm Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Pop Talk 8.00 Coleen’s Real Women. See highlights. 9.00 American Idol 10.00 Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend 11.00 Coronation Street (x2) 12.00am FILM: Wayne’s World 2 (1993) 1.50 Teleshopping
12.20pm Heartbeat 1.20 Pie In The Sky 2.25 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.30 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.30 Surgical Spirit 5.05 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Flashpoint 10.00 FILM: The Graduate (1967) 12.15am FILM: The Pianist (2002)
12.45pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.00 Wife Swap 11.00 FILM: Chain Reaction (1996) 1.10am Scrubs (x2)
2.00pm Hill Street Blues 3.00 A Place By The Sea 4.05 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Secret Millionaire Changed My Life 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 FILM: Miller’s Crossing (1990) 12.20am Grand Designs
12.00pm Maury (x2)1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 8.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 9.00 CSI 10.00 Boston Legal 11.00 CSI 12.00am Home Video Heroes (X2) 1.00 Charmed
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
5.40pm Ever Decreasing Circles 6.20 The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin 7.00 My Family 7.40 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 Blackadder Goes Forth 10.20 The Thin Blue Line 11.00 Gimme Gimme Gimme 11.40 A Bit Of Fry And Laurie 12.20am Blackadder Goes Forth
1.00pm Frasier (x2) 2.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x2) 12.10am Celebrity Death Match
1.00pm Forensic Detectives 2.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Treasure Quest 10.00 Storm Chasers 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)
11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: The Haunting Within (2003) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 The Invisible Man 7.00 Angel 8.00 Eli Stone 9.00 Sea Of Souls 10.15 FILM: Haunted (1995) 12.15am FILM: Dark Storm (2006) 2.00 Flash Gordon
11.00am Twelve O’Clock High (1949) 1.15pm Shadow Of A Doubt (1943) 3.10 The Devil And Miss Jones (1941) 5.00 Anna And The King Of Siam (1946) 7.10 DDay The Sixth Of June (1956) 9.00 Twelve O’Clock High (1949) 11.10 Flight Of The Phoenix (1966) 1.35am Shadow Of A Doubt (1943)
11.00am December Boys (2007) 12.50pm This Is My Father (1998) 2.50 The Page Turner (2006) 4.20 Away From Her (2006) 6.20 Breaking And Entering (2006) 8.20 The Escapist (2001) 10.00 Nacho Libre (2006) 11.35 Eastern Promises (2007) 1.20am The Escapist (2001)
1.00pm Monkey Business (1952) 3.00 I Was A Male War Bride (1949) 5.05 Above Us The Waves (1956) 7.00 The First Wives Club (1996) Self-indulgent comedy starring Goldie Hawn and Bette Midler. 9.00 Kiss The Girls (1997) 11.15 The Filth & The Fury (2000) 1.25am Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls (1970)
7.15am She’s Back On Broadway (1953) 9.00 The Big Sleep (1946) 11.00 Swing Shift (1984) 12.55pm One Spy Too Many (1966) 3.00 Giant (1956) 6.40 Mary Mary (1963) 9.00 The Man With Two Brains (1983) 10.40 The Shining (1980) 1.15am The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981)
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saturday 28 Casualty BBC1 8.50pm Jordan takes steps to cover his condition, and Zana’s daughter comes to stay. Kelsey is thrilled to have won £50,000 on a scratch card and delivers a few home truths to colleagues as she hands in her notice. She is furious, however, when she discovers that she was set up by Jay. Never rains, but it pours…
Margaret Thatcher: The Long Walk To Finchley BBC2, 9.45pm Satirical drama based on Margaret Thatcher’s early years in politics. Margaret wants be an MP, but may be too much of a rebel for the Conservative Party of the 1950s. She’s interested in politics and she thinks a woman’s place can be in the House as well as the home.
Paul Merton Looks At Alfred Hitchcock BBC4, 9pm Paul Merton explores Alfred Hitchcock’s early films. Using clips and archive interviews with Hitchcock and those who worked with him, including actress Anna Massey and cinematographer Gil Taylor, Merton weaves together a playful narrative of the director’s early career.
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Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Rachel Allen: Bake! 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Football Focus 1.00 Outtake TV 1.30 Bobsleigh Challenge 2.30 Six Nations Rugby 5.00 BBC News 5.10 Regional News And Weather 5.15 Six Nations Rugby
6.00am Kid’s TV 6.40 Big Cook Little Cook 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Animalia 7.35 Three Delivery 7.55 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 8.00 Skunk Fu 8.15 Sportsround 8.30 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 9.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 9.55 Bernard 10.00 Basil’s Swap Shop 11.00 Roar 12.00pm Malcolm In The Middle 12.25 Malcolm In The Middle 12.50 Proper Messy 12.55 SuperAgents 1.25 Sound 2.00 Coast 2.05 Animal Park 3.05 Psych 3.45 Psych 4.30 Final Score 5.15 FILM: Under The Tuscan Sun (2003) 7.00 The Genius Of Photography Documentary series exploring the history of photography – from daguerreotype to digital, from portraits to photo-journalism, from art to advertising. In the decades following WW1, photography was the central medium of the age. Precise, objective, rational and apparently machine-like, it was used to promote the radical utopia of the Soviet Union and to bring order to the chaos of Weimar Germany. But others, such as Rodchenko, Sander and Man Ray, used it to explore the irrational and the surreal. 8.00 Timewatch The history series that investigates myths, legends and stories from around the world. 9.00 QI XL Panel-based quiz where the aim is to be interesting. Stephen Fry finds the fun in flora and fauna with John Sergeant, Jimmy Carr, Jo Brand and Alan Davies. 9.45 Margaret Thatcher: The Long Walk To Finchley See highlights. 11.10 FILM: Red Road (2006) Starring Kate Dickie. Jackie works as a CCTV operator. She watches over a small part of the world, protecting the people living their lives under her gaze. One day a man appears on her monitor, a man she never wanted to see again. Now she has no choice, she is compelled to confront him. 1.00am Mad Men 1.45 FILM: Guinevere
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Dancing On Ice 10.55 Dancing On Ice – The Skate Off 11.40 ITV News And Weather 11.45 FILM: The Rare Breed (1966) 1.30pm Inspector Morse 3.30 Meridian News And Weather 3.45 FILM: Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004) 5.30 ITV News And Weather 5.45 New You’ve Been Framed!
6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 British Triathlon Grand Prix 7.30 Vendee Globe 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 One Tree Hill 9.50 Friends 10.20 Friends 10.55 T4 At The Shockwaves NME Awards 2009 11.50 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 12.55pm Scrubs 1.30 Scrubs 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Come Dine With Me 4.30 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.15 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Harry wraps up the TV in a big comic burp. 6.45 The Colour Of Money Chris Tarrant presents the most stressful gameshow on British TV. 7.45 Ant And Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway Ant and Dec are joined by American songstress Katy Perry. 9.00 FILM: The Bourne Supremacy (2004) Starring Matt Damon. Spy thriller sequel based on the Robert Ludlum books. Bourne is once again forced to take up his former life as a trained assassin when a CIA operation to purchase classified Russian documents goes wrong. 10.15 ITV News And Weather 10.35 FILM: The Bourne Supremacy Continued. 11.20 FILM: The River (1984) Starring Mel Gibson, Sissy Spacek. The tale of a poor family who have scratched out a living for generations, under constant threat of flooding from the river that runs beside their Tennessee farm. But if they are to preserve their way of life, they must also fight against the encroachments of big business. 1.35am Nightwatch With Steve Scott – Action Stations 2.30 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Emergency Cameras 3.20 ITV Nightscreen Text 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 Come Dine With Me Dinner party reality programme. Paul Morris has managed to steer clear of controversy during a week of tears and tantrums. Can he snatch the cash prize with a fiery main course of volcano meatballs? 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Snowstorm: Britain’s Big Freeze Topical documentary chronicling the extraordinary week endured by Britain in early February, as the country suffered its worst snow falls in 18 years. 8.00 Grand Designs Brighton couple Daren Howarth and Adi Nortje build a home from recycled materials in Brittany, France, enlisting the help of unskilled volunteers. Can’t see anything going wrong then can we? But you know they will pull it out of the hat at the last minute just as it looks like they are doomed. They would be from Brighton… 9.00 FILM: The Shawshank Redemption (1994) See film highlights. 11.45 4Music Presents... Snow Patrol Anthemic indie band Snow Patrol perform songs from their album A Hundred Million Suns. 12.20am FILM: One True Thing (1998) Emotional drama 2.30 Angela’s Dying Wish 3.30 Hill Street Blues 4.20 Time Team 5.10 Countdown 5.55 The Hoobs
6.00am Kid’s TV 7.10 The Beeps 7.20 Franklin 7.45 Franny’s Feet 8.00 Olivia 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Play! 8.40 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.50 Roobarb And Custard Too 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Fifth Gear 11.00 Up Close And Dangerous 12.00pm Mr And Mrs Wolf 1.00 Cowboy Builders 2.00 FILM: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004) 3.40 FILM: Columbo: Undercover (1994) 5.30 FILM: Mona Lisa Smile (2003) 7.45 Five News And Sport 7.50 Minder Comedy drama. Archie asks Jamie to mind the beautiful young widow of his former business associate. Suspecting that the grieving woman may be responsible for her husband’s death, Archie enlists the help of a psychic to find out what she is hiding. 8.40 NCIS Drama. Tony and Ziva disappear while searching for smuggled weapons at a shipyard. 9.40 CSI: NY The CSIs find themselves faced with one of their most puzzling cases to date. 10.40 Law And Order A notorious radio DJ survives an attempt on his life. Detectives learn that the case is connected to the Mafia when it emerges the man was having an affair with a mobster’s mistress. But proving the gangster’s involvement depends on a number of unreliable or unavailable witnesses. 11.40 Crime Scene Academy The students learn how to map the trajectory of bullets to decipher a crime scene; find out about how each gun leaves its own individual insignia on a bullet; and witness a live autopsy to retrieve bullets. 12.10am Quiz Call 4.00 Tim Marlow On... 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 House Doctor x2
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Off The Bar 7.00 Big League Weekend 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.30 LIVE Super League 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice 11.45 Football First: Match Choice 1.15am Football First: Match Choice 2.45 Football First: Match Choice 4.15 Spanish Football 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
7.25 Let’s Dance For Comic Relief Claudia Winkleman and Steve Jones host a celebrity-packed dance show for Comic Relief, with Anton Du Beke and guest panellist Paul O’Grady on hand to judge the performances. In this second heat, Jo Brand, Dragons’ Den entrepeneurs Peter Jones, Deborah Meaden and Duncan Bannatyne, the Blue Peter gang and the cast of Hollyoaks are among the acts hoping to dance their way to the final. 8.40 The National Lottery Draws Christine Bleakley is live from Lottery HQ with the draws. 8.50 Casualty Medical drama. Jordan takes steps to cover his condition, while Kelsey gets some good news, but is all what it seems? And Zana’s daughter comes to stay. 9.40 The Old Guys Sitcom. In need of a change of scene, Tom and Roy take Sally up on her offer of a week in a Highland croft. 10.10 BBC News 10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from the day’s four Premier League matches. 11.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker, Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell are joined by Patrick Kielty, Ronan Keating. Bradley Walsh and Spoony. 12.00am FILM: Twelve Monkeys (1995) 2.00 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 3.00 Weatherview 3.05 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Volvo Ocean Race 6.30 Friday Fight Night 8.30 LIVE Test Cricket 1.30pm LIVE Test Cricket 5.30 LIVE Test Cricket 9.30 Test Cricket 10.30 Tennis: Dubai Tennis Championships 2009 12.30am Super League 2.30 Hyundai A League 3.30 Tennis: Dubai Tennis Championships 2009 5.30 Powder Adventures
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Live European Tour Golf 7.00 Live Hyundai A League 9.30 World Golf Championship 1.30pm Volvo Ocean Race 2.00 Max Power 3.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 7.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 European Tour Golf 2.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 3.00 WWE Smackdown 5.00 Max Power
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extraterrestrial Sky1
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9.00am Soccer AM 12.00pm Oops TV (x2) 1.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 2.00 Bones 3.00 Project Runway 4.00 Futurama 4.30 Futurama 5.00 Gladiators 6.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Road Wars 9.00 Bones 10.00 Cold Case 11.00 24 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Street Wars
7.00pm Freaky Eaters 8.00 Top Gear 9.00 FILM: Jersey Girl (2004) 10.40 Live At The Apollo 11.25 Family Guy (x2) 12.10am Being Human 1.10 Snog Marry Avoid? 1.40 Naked: Cabbies 2.40 Freaky Eaters 3.35 Being Human 4.35 Snog Marry Avoid? 5.30 Close
7.00pm The Book Quiz 7.30 FILM: The Lady Vanishes (1938) 9.00 Paul Merton Looks At Alfred Hitchcock 10.00 FILM: Rebecca (1940) 12.10am Paul Merton Looks At Alfred Hitchcock 1.10 Maradona - In The Hands Of The Gods: Storyville 2.40 The Book Quiz 3.10 Paul Merton Looks At Alfred Hitchcock
11.40am Holiday Airport: Sydney 12.45pm Coleen’s Real Women 1.45 Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend 2.45 Gossip Girl 3.45 American Idol (x2) 6.45 FILM: Babe: Pig In The City (1998) 8.35 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.00 FILM: Nine Months (1995) 11.05 FILM: Wayne’s World 2 (1993) 1.05am Celebrity Juice
12.55pm The Duke: A Portrait Of Prince Philip 1.55 Those Were The Days: ‘81 Charles And Diana’s Wedding 3.00 FILM: The Lion In Winter (1968) 5.40 Bertie And Elizabeth 7.55 Henry VIII 10.00 FILM: Whatever Love Means (2005) 11.30 FILM: King David (1985) 1.50am Upstairs Downstairs (x2)
7.30am Our Showbiz Mates 8.30 Fresh Saturday 10.00 The Simple Life (x2) 11.00 Dark Angel (x2) 12.40pm Roswell (x2) 2.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl 7.30 The Big Bang Theory 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The 100 Greatest TV Ads 12.10am Scrubs (x2) 1.00 Dark Angel
9.00am Time Team (x2) 11.00 FILM: The Battle Of The Bulge (1965) 2.15pm Grand Designs (x5) 7.55 Catastrophe 9.00 Time Team Special: The King Of Bling 10.00 The Princess And The Gangster 11.05 Snowdon And Margaret: Inside A Royal Marriage 12.10am The West Wing 1.10 The Princess And The Gangster
8.00am Maury 8.55 The Fix 9.00 The Jerry Springer Show (x2) 10.00 Charmed 11.00 Kyle XY 12.00pm Will And Grace (x2) 1.00 America’s Next Top Model 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x8) 6.00 Criminal Minds (x6) 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Boston Legal 3.00 Wonder Woman
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
7.00am Charlie’s Angels 8.00 The Dick Emery Show 8.20 The Vicar Of Dibley Story 9.40 The Vicar Of Dibley (x13) 6.55pm FILM: Jack (1996) 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.10 Blackadder II 10.50 A Bit Of Fry And Laurie 11.30 The Thin Blue Line 12.10am Jonathan Creek 1.20 Blackadder II 2.00 A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
2.00pm The King Of Queens (x2) 3.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 8.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Grumpy Old Women (x4) 12.40am South Park (x2)
1.00pm The Holy Grail 2.00 Who Was Moses? 3.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 4.00 Unsolved Murders (x2) 5.00 Nextworld 6.00 Raging Nature 7.00 Storm Chasers 8.00 Alaska’s Great Race 9.00 Murder Shift 10.00 Heist 11.00 Crime Scene Forensics 12.00am Extreme Forensics 1.00 A Haunting 2.00 Crime Scene Australia
11.00am Firefly 12.00pm Sanctuary 1.00 FILM: Edward Scissorhands (1990) 3.00 FILM: Flash Gordon (1980) 5.10 FILM: Solar Attack (2005) 7.00 Haunted Homes 8.00 Eli Stone 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: Minority Report (2002) 12.50am FILM: Death Row (2006) 3.00 Medium 4.00 Firefly
9.50am Rear Window (1954) 11.50 Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969) 1.25pm Two For The Road (1967) 3.20 Louisiana Purchase (1941) 5.00 Custer Of The West (1968) 7.25 Flaming Star (1960) 9.00 Two For The Road (1967) 10.55 Rear Window (1954) 12.55am Custer Of The West (1968)
11.10am Hollywoodland (2006) 1.20pm The Movie Geek 1.50 Kenny (2006) 3.40 The Curse Of The Golden Flower (2006) 5.40 The General (1998) 7.50 Jindabyne (2006) 10.00 Notes On A Scandal (2006) 11.35 Do The Right Thing (1989) 1.40am Mo’ Better Blues (1990)
1.00pm Cheaper By The Dozen (2003) 2.50 The Animal (2001) 4.25 Those Glory, Glory Days (1983) 6.25 I Am Sam (2001) 9.00 Along Came A Spider (2001) 10.55 Death Note (2006) 1.20am The Entity (1981) 3.50 Close
10.15am The Shoes Of The Fisherman (1968) 1.05pm Captain Horatio Hornblower (1951) 3.00 The Jazz Singer (1927) 5.00 The Philadelphia Story (1940) 7.05 Moonstruck (1987) 9.00 Possession (2002) 11.00 The Rise And Rise Of Michael Rimmer (1970) 12.55am Children Of A Lesser God (1986)
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4:52 PM
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sunday 1 Nature’s Great events BBC1, 6pm Documentary series. Each year, over a million wildebeest and zebra invade the Serengeti grasslands, making it a paradise for the predators. The cameras follow the story of one lion family’s struggle to survive until the return of the migration. But as the herds start to return, a volcano awakes from its slumber.
The Victorians BBC1, 9pm Jeremy Paxman continues his journey into Victorian Britain. Now he looks at Victorian power, the emergence of advertising and the birth of the wealthy middle class. A CGI recreation of the Crystal Palace sets the scene – at the Great Exhibition of 1851, Britain acknowledged to itself that it ruled the world.
Caravans: A British Love Affair BBC4, 9pm Documentary about the love affair between the British and their caravans, which saw the country establish the world’s largest caravan manufacturer and transformed the holiday habits of generations of families, from the 1950s through to the present day.
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Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 7.55 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Countryfile 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 1.30 Cash In The Attic 2.30 EastEnders 4.25 After You’ve Gone 4.55 Songs Of Praise 5.30 BBC News 5.50 Regional News And Weather
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Doodle Do Making Moments 6.40 Big Cook Little Cook 7.00 Batfink 7.10 Animalia 7.35 Three Delivery 7.55 Prank Patrol Pocketsize 8.00 The Revenge Files Of Alistair Fury 8.30 Only In America 9.00 The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 MasterChef 12.30pm Film 2009 With Jonathan Ross 1.00 Animal Park 2.00 Escape To The Country 3.00 FILM: The Man Who Would Be King (1975) 5.10 Ski Sunday 5.40 Orangutan Diary
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Championship 10.25 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 10.55 Coronation Street Omnibus 1.10pm ITV News And Weather 1.15 FILM: Bend Of The River (1952) 3.00 FILM: Licence To Kill (1989) 5.35 The Krypton Factor
6.20am The Hoobs 6.45 Planet Cook 7.05 Trans World Sport 8.00 4Sport: Destination 2012 8.55 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.05 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.35pm Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 1.45 Friends 2.15 The Big Bang Theory 2.45 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 3.40 The Simpsons 4.10 The Simpsons 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Time Team
6.00am Kid’s TV 8.30 Play! 8.40 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.50 Roobarb And Custard Too 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.10 Little Lodgers 9.20 Rupert Bear 9.30 Jane And The Dragon 10.00 Everybody Hates Chris 10.30 Everybody Hates Chris 11.00 Numb3rs 12.00pm Cowboy Builders 1.00 Animal Rescue Squad 1.30 Animal Rescue Squad 2.00 FILM: Walkabout (1971) 3.50 FILM: The Wizard Of Oz (1939) 5.50 Five News And Sport 5.55 FILM: Jumanji (1995)
6.00 Nature’s Great Events See highlights. 7.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team set up for business in the grounds of Lanhydrock, near Bodmin in Cornwall. The experts are kept busy with another series of exciting finds, including a gold bangle set with precious stones that was found at the bottom of a water tank. An early Valentine tells the story of an unrequited love affair, while a valuation on a silver cup brings the house down. 8.00 Lark Rise To Candleford Costume drama. 9.00 The Victorians Jeremy Paxman continues his exploration of the Victorian world. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Damages Acclaimed American legal drama. Patty’s efforts to defend Daniel Purcell reveal their complicated history together, and force an energy industry giant to take drastic measures to keep its malfeasance from being exposed. 11.00 FILM: Shine (1996) See film highlights. 12.40am The Sky At Night 1.00 Weatherview. 1.05 Sign Zone: Nature’s Great Events 2.05 Sign Zone: Holby City 3.05 Sign Zone: Million Dollar Traders 4.05 BBC News
6.10 Amazon With Bruce Parry Bruce Parry reaches the end of his Amazon adventure. 7.10 Top Gear Jeremy falls in love with the Mercedes CLK Black, Richard uses the Audi RS6 to take on some annoyingly cool French skiers, and James sets our in-house bravery expert an enormous challenge involving an MG Maestro. 8.10 Richard Hammond’s Engineering Connections Richard Hammond discovers the secrets behind the Keck Observatory. 9.00 Monty Hall’s Great Escape Monty Halls turns his back on city life to become a 21st century beachcomber on the west coast of Scotland. Monty moves into cattle shed overlooking an isolated beach. He turns it into a comfortable home. Monty is soon having fun bringing the croft to life, with a crystal clear sea inviting him to explore. 10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Adrian Chiles presents highlights from four Premier League matches. 11.00 High Altitude Graham Bell and Ed Leigh travel to the Exploradores Glacier in Chile and attempt to climb a 125ft glacial wall. 11.30 Ideal Moz and Jenny’s cosy love situation is thrown into chaos. 12.00am Heroes 12.45 FILM: Double Take (2001) 2.05 FILM: The Crimson Kimono (1959) 3.25 BBC News 4.05 The Super League Show
6.05 Meridian News And Weather 6.20 ITV News And Weather 6.35 Creature Comforts Animated animals give their unique take on the world. What causes a sewer-dwelling crocodile to settle in Stockton Heath, and what does a baby spider think of the long climb to bed? 6.45 Creature Comforts A tortoise and hare argue over who is the best loser and a wrestling mouse demonstrates how to land properly. 6.55 Dancing On Ice More sparkling celebrity ice dancing. 8.15 Wild At Heart Danny and Alice’s relationship reaches rock bottom when they have a blazing row at an animal auction. 9.15 Dancing On Ice – The Skate Off Results. 10.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Sir Richard Branson Piers Morgan lifts the lid on Sir Richard Branson. This is the first time that the Virgin boss has sat down for a full no-holdsbarred interview for 20 years. 11.00 ITV News And Weather 11.15 Carling Cup Final Highlights Highlights of the Carling Cup final between Manchester United and Tottenham Hotspur from Wembley. 12.15am Guinness Premiership Rugby 1.15 The Cosby Mysteries 2.05 Loose Women 2.55 The Love Industry 3.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Christianity: A History Cherie Blair examines the challenges facing Christianity’s future. She looks back at the religion’s last two hundred years, and returns to her hometown of Liverpool to see if the city’s strong Catholic influence that was present during her teenage years is still evident. Blair also talks to Laura Bush about religion in America, and argues that Christianity can once again be a force for change and inclusiveness. 8.00 Come Dine With Me Reality series in which people compete to be the best dinner-party host. 9.00 FILM: Rush Hour 2 (2001) Lighthearted, action-packed sequel that relocates the fast-talking LA cop and a martial arts expert from California to the Far East as they investigate an explosion at Hong Kong’s US embassy. 10.45 FILM: The Craft (1996) Atmospheric supernatural horror tale in which four outsiders at an elite school form a witches’ coven, using their occult powers to make their wishes come true, and seek revenge for their exclusion. 12.45am FILM: Fried Green Tomatoes At The Whistle Stop Cafe (1991) 3.05 Swimming Short 3.20 Hill Street Blues 4.10 Time Team 5.00 Countdown 5.45 Grabbit The Rabbit 5.50 The Hoobs
8.00 Ice Road Truckers Documentary series examining the dangerous job of driving trucks on Canada’s notorious ice highways. 9.00 FILM: Conspiracy Theory (1997) Thriller in which a New York cabbie’s innate paranoia and obsession with top-level conspiracy theories put his life in grave danger when he stumbles across a sinister plot. Having been abducted by a government psychiatrist, he escapes and confides in a lawyer who helps him unearth the truth behind the conspiracy. Together they uncover terrifying facts about the man’s past that even he could not have imagined. 11.35 FILM: The Manchurian Candidate (1962) Thriller about two American soldiers who are captured during the Korean War and brainwashed by their jailers. The pair are programmed to carry out assassinations when they return to the US. 2.00am Winter X Games Extreme sporting action with the latest highlights from the Winter X Games in Aspen, Colorado. Featuring the world’s best snowboarders, Ski Extreme artists and Moto X exponents. 2.50 Boxing Classic Classic boxing action from a top bout. 3.15 Boxing USA 4.15 NASCAR: The Sprint Cup 5.10 House Doctor x2
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice 8.00 Football First: Match Choice 9.30 Sunday Supplement 10.30 Goals On Sunday 12.00pm LIVE Football League: Championship 2.30 LIVE Football: Carling Cup Final 5.30 LIVE World Club Challenge 8.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 Carling Cup Football 12.00am Football League: Championship 1.00 Spanish Football 3.00 Carling Cup Football 4.00 Football League: Championship 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Hyundai A League 7.00 Spanish Football 8.30 LIVE Test Cricket 1.30pm LIVE Test Cricket 5.30 LIVE Test Cricket 9.30 Test Cricket 10.00 Football First: Match Choice 11.30 Football First: Match Choice 1.00am Premiership Rugby Union 2.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 9.00 World Golf Championship 12.00pm Wild Spirits 12.30 LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 3.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 8.00 Premiership Rugby Union 9.30 LIVE NASCAR 1.00am WWE Late Night Afterburn 2.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 3.00 Close
Alison Swann
extraterrestrial Sky1
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BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
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Living
12.00pm Futurama (x2) 1.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 2.00 Hello Goodbye 3.00 FILM: Sleepless In Seattle (1993) 5.00 Futurama 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 Gladiators 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Lost 10.00 Ross Kemp: Return To Afghanistan 11.00 Night Cops 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Street Wars 2.40 The Villa
7.00pm Wallace And Gromit’s Cracking Contraptions 7.15 Wallace And Gromit: A Grand Day Out 7.40 FILM: Wallace & Gromit In The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit (2005) 9.00 Being Human 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 The Undercover Princes 11.45 Grownups 12.15am Being Human 1.10 Naked: Cabbies
7.00pm Wine 8.00 Sissinghurst (x2) 9.00 Caravans: A British Love Affair 10.00 Paul Merton Looks At Alfred Hitchcock 11.00 FILM: The Thirty Nine Steps (1935) 12.25am Reputations 1.15 Wine 2.15 Sissinghurst (x2) 3.15 Caravans: A British Love Affair 5.30 Close
12.00pm Ant And Dec’s Saturday Night Takeaway 1.15 Gossip Girl 2.15 FILM: Babe (1998) 4.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 4.30 Coronation Street Omnibus 6.55 FILM: Nine Months (1995) 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 FM 10.30 Celebrity Juice 11.00 FILM: Kevin And Perry Go Large (2000) 12.50am Entourage
9.45am FILM: The Lion In Winter (1968) 12.25pm Days Of Majesty 1.35 The Duke: A Portrait Of Prince Philip 2.40 Bertie And Elizabeth 4.50 FILM: Wallis And Edward (2005) 7.00 Henry VIII 9.00 The Queen 11.00 Ladies Of Letters 11.30 Cadfael 1.10am Hammer House Of Horror (x2) 3.00 Surgical Spirit
12.20pm Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious 1.15 Beauty And The Geek 2.10 Crowned 3.05 Age Of Love 4.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 90210 6.55 One Tree Hill 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 Skins 12.05am Russell Brand’s Ponderland 12.35 Rude Tube 1.05 Age Of Love
1.50pm Location, Location, Location (x5) 4.40 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.25 Jamie At Home 7.55 The River Cottage Treatment 9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 10.00 The World’s Hairiest Person And Me 11.05 Father Ted 11.40 The IT Crowd 12.10am Curb Your Enthusiasm 12.50 Deal Or No Deal
10.00am Charmed 11.00 Kyle XY 12.00pm Will And Grace (x2) 1.00 Extreme: Skinny Celebrities 2 2.00 America’s Next Top Model (x4) 6.00 RSPCA Animal Rescue (x2) 7.00 New Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 Pop Goes The Band 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 CSI (x2) 12.00am Ghost Hunters International 1.00 Charmed
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
8.20am The Vicar Of Dibley (x5) 12.40pm FILM: Jack (1996) 2.45 The Vicar Of Dibley (x5) 7.00 The Vicar Of Dibley Top 40 9.00 Open All Hours 9.40 Seven Of One: Another Fine Mess 10.20 Porridge 11.00 Open All Hours 11.40 Seven Of One: Another Fine Mess 12.20am Porridge 1.00 The Vicar Of Dibley Top 40
2.00pm The King Of Queens (x2) 3.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 8.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 9.00 South Park (x2) 10.00 Grumpy Old Women (x4) 12.40am South Park (x2)
11.00am Future Weapons 12.00pm Hitler’s Henchmen (x2) 2.00 NASA’s Greatest Missions (x4) 6.00 Raging Nature 7.00 Ways To Save The Planet 8.00 Storm Chasers 9.00 Treasure Quest 10.00 Solved 11.00 Murder Shift 12.00am Extreme Forensics 1.00 A Haunting 2.00 Crime Scene Australia 3.00 Treasure Quest
11.00am Haunted Homes 12.00pm FILM: The Haunting Within (2003) 2.00 FILM: Dark Storm (2006) 3.40 Star Trek 5.00 Firefly 6.00 Eli Stone 7.00 FILM: The Sword Of Xanten (2004) 8.00 Sanctuary 9.00 FILM: Boa Vs Python (2004) 10.50 FILM: Cerberus (2005) 12.40am FILM: The Messengers (2007)
11.30am Dante’s Inferno (1935) 1.00pm The Lost Weekend (1945) 2.45 A Foreign Affair (1948) 4.45 35mm 5.15 The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) 7.15 The Purple Heart (1944) 9.00 The Birds (1963) 11.05 The Out-of-Towners (1970) 12.50am The Great Man’s Lady (1942)
12.25pm Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer (2006) 2.55 Factory Girl (2006) 4.40 A Fish Called Wanda (1988) 6.30 The Good German (2005) 8.25 The Darjeeling Limited (2007) 10.00 Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer (2006) 12.30am The Proposition (1998) 2.25 Factory Girl (2006)
1.00pm The Animal (2001) 2.45 Above Us The Waves (1956) 4.40 The Destructors (1967) 6.40 Batman And Robin (1997) 9.00 The Sum Of All Fears (2002) 11.20 Office Space (1999) 1.05am The Player (1992) 3.35 Close
11.10am A Big Hand For The Little Lady (1966) 1.00pm This Woman Is Dangerous (1952) 3.00 Trial By Combat (1976) 4.50 Giant (1956) 8.30 TCM Presents Under The Influence: Edward Norton 9.00 The Candidate (1972) 11.05 Mutiny On The Bounty (1962) 2.15am Murder, She Said (1961)
Classics
Indie
043_LS412_TVmon
2/19/09
4:50 PM
Page 1
monday 2 James Wong Grow Your Own Drugs BBC2, 8.30pm Not what you were thinking, more the high street variety. Covering the uses of various flowers, fruit, vegetables, herbs, trees, roots and bulbs commonly found in the UK. Using these as ingredients, James makes simple preparations which could help soothe common conditions.
Who Do You Think You Are? BBC1, 9pm Kevin Whately begins investigating the careers of his grandmother Doris, a singer, and her father, the self-made ‘fishing king’ of the north-east. Further investigations uncover 18th-century forebears were amongst the richest and most powerful men of the 17th century. What would Morse have made of that, then, eh?
Legends: The Beverley Sisters – Tickled Pink BBC4, 8pm Profile of singing trio the Beverley Sisters, charting their rise from their humble beginnings in London’s East End to huge stars at the forefront of the TV revolution in the 1950s. Joy, Teddie and Babs are remembered for their sweet image, but all wasn’t so innocent.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Wanted Down Under 10.00 Axe The Agent? 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.25 Mona The Vampire 3.40 Pinky And Perky 3.50 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 4.05 One Minute Wonders 4.35 Half Moon Investigations 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories from around the UK. 7.30 Watchdog Consumer news and advice from the Watchdog office. 8.00 EastEnders Danielle’s attempts to cheer up Stacey lead to a disastrous night at R&R. Ian is horrified by Jane and Tanya’s drunken antics, and Janine targets Sal in order to bring down Peggy. 8.30 Panorama As RBS announces what are predicted to be the biggest losses in British history, Panorama tells the story of the bank’s dramatic fall from grace. 9.00 Who Do You Think You Are? See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 FILM: A Time To Kill (1996) Legal thriller set in America’s Deep South. A young lawyer must defend a black factory worker accused of murdering two racist thugs who raped his daughter, amid rising hysteria involving the Ku Klux Klan and civil rights campaigners. He is helped by a veteran attorney and a keen law student. 1.00am Weatherview 1.05 Sign Zone: The Victorians 2.05 Sign Zone: Victorian Farm 3.05 Sign Zone: Natural World 3.55 BBC News
6.00am Kid’s TV 9.00 Big And Small 9.15 Numberjacks 9.30 Something Special - Out And About 9.50 Bob The Builder 10.00 Big Barn Farm 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Fun With Phonics 11.10 Telling Tales 11.15 Telling Tales 11.20 Primary History 11.40 Around Scotland 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Coast 1.05 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 2.05 The World At War 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Escape To The Country 4.30 Ready Steady Cook 5.15 Flog It! 6.00 Battle Of The Brains Quiz. 6.30 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz. 7.00 Richard Hammond’s Engineering Connections Richard Hammond’s Engineering Connections. 7.50 High Altitude An all-action winter sports show. 8.00 It’s Not Easy Being Green Lauren Laverne and Phill Jupitus roadtest a greened-up Airstream Caravan. 8.30 James Wong Grow Your Own Drugs Not what you were thinking, more the high street variety. Back to grannies herb garden we all go… 9.00 Heroes Following a chain of unexpected events, the Heroes are on the run from their latest adversary and one of their own, Nathan Petrelli. 9.45 Dragons’ Den – Best Of Reliving riveting pitches from the latest series. 10.00 Not Going Out Sitcom. A new neighbour moves in upstairs. 10.30 Newsnight The stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Around The World In 80 Faiths Pete Owen Jones’s exploration of world faiths takes a bizarre turn in Latin America. 12.20am Around The World In 80 Faiths Peter discovers a darker side to faith 1.20 BBC News 4.00 Telling Tales
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.15 ITV News And Weather 11.20 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish – Celebrity Special
6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.35 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.00 Sweet Sixteen 10.30 Advertising Uncut 11.00 Teen Taboos 11.30 Year Dot Television 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.30 FILM: Magnificent Obsession (1954) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00am Kid’s TV 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Pocoyo 8.45 Mio Mao 8.50 Play! 9.00 The Wright Stuff 10.30 Trisha Goddard 11.30 Build A New Life In The Country – Was It Worth It? 12.30pm Five News 12.45 Going For Gold 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Going For Gold Extra 3.00 FILM: The Karen Carpenter Story (1989) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am UEFA Champions League Weekly 6.30 Carling Cup Football 7.30 Football League: Championship 8.30 LIVE Test Cricket 1.30pm LIVE Test Cricket 5.00 LIVE Test Cricket 9.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Big League Weekend 12.30am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.00 LIVE International Cricket
6.00 The Simpsons Homer and Marge discover the secret to reigniting their love life. 6.30 Hollyoaks Carmel is stunned that Leo does not know anything about the 10,000 pounds. Calvin tries desperately to explain his plan to Carmel but she has had enough and walks out. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder: Routes Brief interactive drama about a young woman attempting to solve the mystery of her uncle’s death. 8.00 The Real Pink Panther: Lord Victor Hervey The final film in a series of documentaries exploring the relationships between the upper echelons of society and the criminal underclass. 9.00 Revenge Of The Bin Men Documentary examining the bin wars that have broken out between residents and refuse collectors across the country. 10.00 FILM: Phone Booth (2002) See film highlights. 11.35 Miracle Of The Hudson Plane Crash The story of the US Airways flight forced to make an emergency landing in the Hudson River after a flock of geese flew into its engines minutes from takeoff. 12.40am 4 Music: Shockwaves NME Awards 2009 2.35 Dupe 2.50 Could You Eat An Elephant? 4.00 The Blue Dragon 4.15 The Blue Dragon
6.00 Home And Away Will Freya stop at nothing to get Xavier’s attention? Nope. 6.30 Wild Animal ER The team rescues a family of baby rabbits unearthed on a building site. Hayley, the badger with the heart murmur, is given a check-up, and Tiggywinkles’s polecats are moved to a new home. 6.55 Best In Show The quirky world of competitive animal shows. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert learns about fireproofing. 8.00 Police Interceptors Documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex. 9.00 Extreme Fishing With Robson Green Documentary profiling the hottest fishing destinations. 10.00 America’s Toughest Prisons Documentary series unlocking the truth about some of America’s most notorious prisons. 11.00 FILM: Jackie Chan’s Police Story (1985) Comedy thriller starring martial arts legend Jackie Chan as an honest Hong Kong cop charged with protecting a Triad boss’s girlfriendturned-informer. 1.00am NASCAR: The Sprint Cup 1.50 USPGA Golf 2.40 AMA Supercross 3.30 Arenacross 4.20 Race And Rally UK 4.45 NBA 360 Magazine 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News And Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Nicola is worried that the Wyldes have employed her for more than just her business skills. 7.30 Coronation Street The superstitious Becky panics about her unlucky wedding date. 8.00 What A Waste: Tonight Morland Sanders asks if the big retailers could be doing more to help save the planet and the public’s cash. 8.30 Coronation Street Tina makes a shocking confession in court. 9.00 Law & Order: UK Crime drama based on the acclaimed US show. DS Ronnie Brooks and DS Matt Devlin investigate the murder of a teenager who was brutally beaten to death. 10.00 News At Ten And Weather 10.35 Al Murray’s Multiple Personality Disorder New show full of comedy characters. 11.05 Harry Hill’s TV Burp The comic serves up his take on the TV. 11.35 FILM: Honkytonk Man (1982) Starring Clint Eastwood. During the Depression, a country and western singer ill with tuberculosis embarks on one last journey with his young nephew. 1.40am Wanted 2.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.00 Loose Women 3.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Carling Cup Football 10.00 Spanish Football 12.00pm Football First: Match Choice 1.30 Football First: Match Choice 3.00 Carling Cup Football 4.00 Football League: Championship 5.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.00 Big League Weekend 7.30 LIVE Football League: League One 10.00 Poker 12.00am NASCAR 3.00 Big League Weekend 4.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 World Golf Championship 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Super 14 Rugby Round-Up 2.00 World Golf Championship 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 NASCAR 10.00 WWE The Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 Live WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close
Alison Swann
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Living
10.00am Stargate Atlantis (x2) 12.00pm Don’t Forget The Lyrics 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 5.00 Gladiators 6.00 Futurama 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 24 10.00 Night Cops 11.00 Road Wars (x3) 1.50am Stargate Atlantis (x2)
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The Real Hustle: High Stakes 8.30 Snog Marry Avoid? 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Grownups 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Heroes 11.15 Being Human 12.15am Gavin And Stacey 12.45 Grownups 1.15 Snog Marry Avoid? 1.45 Being Human
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Sky At Night 8.00 Legends: The Beverley Sisters - Tickled Pink 9.00 Wine 10.00 Bulletproof Salesman: Storyville 11.00 FILM: Stage Fright (1950) 12.45am Reputations 1.40 Legends: The Beverley Sisters - Tickled Pink 2.40 The Sky At Night 3.10 Wine 5.30 Close
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Creature Comforts 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 FILM: The Chronicles Of Riddick (2004) 11.20 Coronation Street (x2) 12.20am Jack Osbourne: Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie
3.35pm Daily Cooks Challenge 4.35 Surgical Spirit 5.05 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.45 Heartbeat 6.45 Ballykissangel 7.55 The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Greatest Cities Of The World With Griff Rhys Jones 10.00 Clocking Off 11.10 FILM: The Graduate (1967) 1.15am Liverpool One
12.50pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.40 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 90210 10.00 Samantha Who? 10.30 FILM: Cheaper By The Dozen (2003) 12.30am Scrubs (x2)
2.00pm Hill Street Blues 3.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Relocation, Relocation 10.00 Country House Rescue 11.10 ER 12.10am Brothers And Sisters
12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 8.00 CSI 9.00 America’s Next Top Model 10.00 Pop Goes The Band 11.00 CSI 12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 Charmed 2.00 America’s Next Top Model
G.O.L.D.
Paramount
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
5.40pm The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin 6.20 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 7.40 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 8.20 My Family 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 9.40 The Vicar Of Dibley 10.20 The Fast Show 11.00 The New Statesman 11.35 A Bit Of Fry And Laurie 12.15am The Vicar Of Dibley
2.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 3.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x3) 9.30 Rules Of Engagement 10.00 Sex And The City (x2) 11.10 Scrubs (x2) 12.10am Two And A Half Men 12.40 Frasier (x2)
2.00pm Crime Scene USA (x2) 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Mythbusters 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How Stuff’s Made 8.00 American Chopper 9.00 How It’s Made (x2) 10.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 11.00 Extreme Forensics 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)
11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Flash Gordon 2.00 Angel 3.00 FILM: Cave In (2003) 5.00 Quantum Leap 6.00 The Invisible Man 7.00 Angel 8.00 Haunted Homes 9.00 Eli Stone 10.00 Medium 11.00 Dead Like Me 12.00am FILM: Creature (2004) 2.00 Flash Gordon 3.00 Medium
10.30am A Place In The Sun (1951) 12.35pm Holiday Inn (1942) 2.20 Tell Them Willie Boy Is Here (1969) 4.05 The War Lord (1965) 6.10 The Diary Of Anne Frank (1959) 9.00 Duel In The Sun (1946) 11.10 The Man In The Gray Flannel Suit (1956) 1.45am Road To Utopia (1945)
10.35am The Singer (2006) 12.35pm The Escapist (2001) 2.10 The Serpent (2006) 4.15 35mm 4.45 Mulholland Drive (2001) 7.15 The Last Temptation Of Christ (1988) 10.00 Bringing Out The Dead (1999) 12.05am Hana-Bi (1997) 1.50 Mulholland Falls (1996) 3.50 The Escapist (2001)
1.00pm World For Ransom (1954) 2.40 The Guinea Pig (1948) 4.40 Seance On A Wet Afternoon (1964) 7.00 Napoleon Dynamite (2004) 9.00 The X Files (1998) 11.20 A Scanner Darkly (2006) 1.15am Waking Life (2001) 3.20 Close
9.20am The Candidate (1972) 11.25 Tall Man Riding (1955) 1.00pm Bye Bye Braverman (1968) 3.00 The Ballad Of Cable Hogue (1970) 5.25 Forbidden Planet (1956) 7.15 The Good Guys And The Bad Guys (1969) 9.00 The Searchers (1956) 11.15 Lost In America (1985) 1.00am Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid (1973)
Classics
Indie