Latest Seven: Issue 424 19 - 25 May by Latest Homes

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5/15/09

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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk

★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 19 – 25 May 2009

FREE WEEKLY

festival and fringe make the most of the final week

michelle pfeiffer on growing older and younger men gardens week get your hands dirty at the royal pavilion

for festival s view and fringe re ards aw st te and la pdated nominees u it is v daily o.uk c t. s thelate

turning japanese moshi moshi hosts its first street festival page 11

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Contents ★latest upfront 5–11 5 Seann loves coffee so long as it’s local 5 Will skives off – and feels the guilt 6 Win Wolverine DVDs 6 Social Diary at the Parlure launch 7 Dani squares up to bullies 8 More Bare Cheek Festival highlights 8 Astral Angi names your baby 9 Celebcity goes highbrow at the theatre 10 Gardens Week 2009 at Royal Pavilion 11 On the cover: Moshi Moshi’s Japanese Street Festival

20 Health: it’s hayfever time

★ latest listings 21–41 21 Reviews We came, we saw, we critiqued

23 Stage 24 Film Michelle Pfeiffer talks about her Chéri

26 Comedy Vicky chats to the Penny Dreadfuls

26 Art Don’t give a ****? Try Modern Toss

27 Kids & Events The Big Splash and outdoor gaming

27 Books

12 News: don’t lose your vote in the

28 Music

14 Letters: the first nominations flood in 14 Sport: Takepart festival

Andrew enjoys two musicals

★ latest news 12–14 Latest Awards

Welcome I

John sings in the Poet Laureate Dub Pistols, Nice Weather for Airstrikes and Antony & the Johnsons Brighton Latest Download Chart

TOP

40 1 1

14 Crossword: play with words

★ latest lifestyle 15–20

31 Clubs Carnivalesque and secret fringe party

32 Gay 15 Brighton Festival’s final week 16 Hotlist: choose your food wisely 17 Brighton Festival Fringe closing shows

Queer fringe at the Marlborough

34 TV Find Me a Family and this week’s telly

19 Travel: get the most for your money

06 21

01273 818150

t might be a credit crunch year but Brighton Festival and Brighton Festival Fringe have brought a massive boost to the city with tens of thousands of visitors and priceless promotion around the world. Within Brighton and Hove, we have been enjoying hundreds of indoor and outdoor shows, from free family days like the Children’s Parade to groundbreaking world class theatre such as the Orpington Camp on the pier. The Latest Awards on bank holiday Monday 25 May are our way of celebrating all the people who made the festivals happen, from staff to volunteers, performers and audiences. Turn to news (p12) to find out how to vote, how to get your ticket and what shows have been nominated. The full shortlist so far can be seen at www.thelatest.co.uk/7 The festivals aren’t over yet – see page 15 for what’s on in the final week at the Festival and p17 for the Fringe. Even after all the closing parties, there’s much more to come in Brighton. Gardens Week 2009 begins at the Royal Pavilion on Monday (p10) and Moshi Moshi will host its first ever Japanese Street Festival at the end of May (p11). We are approaching summer and holiday plans are on your mind, we have a new monthly travel section starting this week. See page 19 to hear how John Proctor Travel can help you make the most of your money. For a bit more escapism, see film (p24) for an interview with Michelle Pfeiffer about her new film Chéri, set in the Parisian Belle Epoque and showing at the Duke of York’s. The world is still reeling from the news that Katie Price and Peter Andre have split. Read Jo Brooks’ take on the break up in Celebcity (p9). In books, John O’Donoghue pays tribute to Carol Ann Duffy, our new Poet Laureate, while in music, Jeff Hemmings talks to Dub Pistols founder Barry Ashworth (p28) and looks forward to the sold out Antony and the Johnsons gig in Brighton.

Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Business Director Angi Mariani

Editor Rachel Pegg

Creative Director Andrew Kay

Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker

Production Director Fiona McTernan

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Finance Manager Sharon Caple

Sub Editors Pearl Bates Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell

Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive

Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer Staff Writers Ralph Miller Dani Winch Clubs Writer Jaime Pettit Books Writer John O‘Donoghue

Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Manager Marie Viviani Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless

Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

Rachel Pegg Latest 7 Editor

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5/15/09

2:33 PM

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CITY SPEAK 05

Seann amously, one of life’s great pleasures is to sit and watch the world go by. This is why we have cafés. Café culture has gone global now. Every nation to embrace globalisation has embraced lattes, cappuccinos and mochas. In Beijing‘s Forbidden City, an ancient, private Emperor’s sub-city now open to the public, there is a Starbuck’s. In the world, there is one Starbuck’s per fly, serving vats of foam-topped gunge that tastes of a certain substance that flies are famous for congregating around. These McDonald’s-style coffee factories are masters of image. Starbuck’s affects the laid-back, Central-Perk-from-Friends vibe, with sofas, newspapers and and well-trained service smiles. Costa Coffee puts on a cod Italian accent, adorning its walls with pictures of Milanese men and filling shelves with decorative jars of linguine. Caffè Nero does the same, without even having the excuse of Italian origins. What’s most galling about these places is how assertively they believe their own image. Their coffee is a waste of the enormous paper cups they put it in. It tastes of almost nothing; to distract from the

Will ’ve now been working in offices for so long, there are few rituals of white-collar life I haven’t mastered. I know exactly how my co-workers take their tea, not just in my current job, but in every job I’ve ever had. I can make idle chit chat about the previous night’s episode of The Apprentice for well over an hour. I have an uncanny knack for disappearing the moment the printer jams, only returning after someone else has fixed it. But, for all these achievements, there’s still one aspect of the 9 to 5 experience I think I will always find a struggle: calling in sick. As I write this, my office thinks I am lying at death’s door. I’ve told them I have a headache, a sore throat, a hacking cough, seismic rumblings at every orifice, and a nose that is managing to defy the laws of physics by being both blocked and runny at the same time. Yes, in a bid to appear extra deserving of a sick day, I’ve effectively told my office I have the Ebola virus. I do not, in fact, have any of the above symptoms. It’s a beautiful day, I’ve spent the last hour watching Cash In The Attic with my feet up, and the only thing I’m suffering from is a guilty conscience. The guilt kicked in around the time I dialled in this morning,

Seann Walsh takes on globalisation and recommends his favourite independent café

flavourlessness, they rely on the images they’ve cultivated and the lifestyle they attach themselves to. And they have the nerve and self-belief to charge £3 for it. Jean-Paul Sartre sat in cafés and watched Paris buzz along. Across the

“It’s a far cry from sitting outside Caffè Nero in Churchill Square, waiting for a bus”

continent, they gather for strong coffee, for coffee with a kick, never getting takeaways, even if they only have 15 minutes spare. The European coffee experience, as opposed to the Anglo-American, is a romanticised ideal. And whether it‘s oversentimental or not, it’s a far-cry from sitting outside Caffè Nero in Churchill Square, waiting for a bus. These places are about commerce, not coffee. The coffee may as well be a pair of trainers, Happy Meal or Britney Spears CD. Brighton is clogged with independent cafés. My favorite – Si Signore on Sydney Street, North Laine, serves some of the best coffee in Brighton in one of its most pleasant streets. It’s European-style: you can ask simply for a white coffee, and be presented with the perfect cup thereof, strong enough to keep you awake all night. Nothing can spoil Si Signore: not even the neighbouring Cyber Dog, a noise-polluting outlet of nu-rave apparel, which makes people look like radioactive tubes of toothpaste. But the coffee’s perfect, the owners care and there’s plenty of world to observe. And somehow, despite this perfection, people still go to Starbuck’s.

Will Harris struggles with the trials of calling in sick “In a bid to appear extra deserving of a sick day, I’ve effectively told my office I have the Ebola virus”

(cannily altering my voice to sound like Mariella Frostrop – this is classed as the Frostrop Rules of calling in sick), and has got progressively worse ever since. When my phone beeps, I think it’s work. When someone walks past the window, I think it’s work. By the time Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting comes on, I’m a total nervous wreck. The strange thing is I have friends who make this whole process look easy. Between them I swear they've mustered enough ailments to fill a medical dictionary. One in particular used to call in sick so frequently to her previous job, it’s a wonder that she wasn’t quarantined by the Centre for Tropical Diseases as a threat to public health. I, on the other hand, spend the whole day so crippled with the guilt of taking time off without legitimately earning it, I’d have probably been better off going into work in the first place. It comes as some comfort, though, that at least I haven’t sunk to the level of my aforementioned friend who, having run out of ailments to use as excuses, told her office she’d witnessed a stabbing and needed time off for emotional distress. Now that is sick.

For comments and chit chat email: letters@thelatest.co.uk

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06 LATEST DIARY

In it to Latest diary win it Tim Richardson mixes with ▲

Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2 Ugly Betty’s America Ferrera stars in the sequel to the popular film based on Ann Brashare’s popular books. A group of four girls stand the test of friendship through career adventures and romance. For a chance of winning one of three copies of this new DVD tell us: Which TV series does America Ferrera star in? See below for entry details.

the Fringe cream and property movers and shakers

Parlure games

Myriam Tisler - and Debs Simpson (Forward PR,The Parlure Spiegeltent)

The Parlure Spiegeltent and Garden held their spectacular opening night at the Old Steine on Thursday 30 April. There was a free event showcasing some of the acts performing during the festival. In the garden you were teased with amazing music and walkabouts from the likes of The Bareback Burlesque Girls and on into the Spiegel for the taster cabaret shows. Later on there were sounds from the big band swinging ska sensation the Voodoo Trombone Quartet, Freshly Squeezed DJs like the legendary Nick Hollywood, magic, dancing and the attack of the 50 Foot Woman. Highlights at the Spiegel include cabaret show the Interstella Circus Show. Other performances include 4 Poofs and a Piano, The Man Who Planted Trees and much more.

▲

www.theparlure.com

The Saddle Club Another popular book series gets the DVD adaptation treatment this week. The Saddle Club is a heart-warming series about growing up, with some horses thrown into the mix as the girls spend their time at the Pine Hollow Stables. For a chance of winning one of three copies of this new DVD tell us: Which stables do the girls in The Saddle Club attend? See below for entry details.

▲

Wolverine and the X Men As Wolverine takes over the big screen, Contender Home Entertainment release the new Marvel animated series on DVD for the first time. Featuring six animated episodes plus the bonus episode ‘Wolverine Vs. Hulk’ (another big screen outing in the making perhaps, after the Hulk meets Iron Man?) A must have for cartoon and comic book fans. We have three copies of this new DVD up for grabs. Just tell us: Who plays Wolverine in the new live-action Wolverine films? See below for entry details.

To win, email:

competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: Monday 1 June

Honour Mission

Lynne Edwards (Latest Homes Magazine), Jonathan Rolande (Pure), Jeff Djevdet (Pure) and Julian Sonnessa (host)

South Coast savvy

Stevi Jelbart and Emma SandhamKing (Ophelia Fancy)

Lisa Thomas and Aidan Thatcher (A1 Planning)

Julian Sonnessa (event host) and Jo Rose (event host)

On Tuesday 28 April at Bar du Vin, Ship Street, Brighton, The Brighton & Hove Property Event hosted the first networking group for individuals and companies interested in property investment along the South Coast. The aim of the event is to provide a platform for anyone interested in property investment on the South Coast, and to come and meet other like-minded individuals and discuss the latest issues and topics surrounding the property market in our area. At the first event, Nicola Cairncross, co-founder of The Money Gym (www.themoneygym.com) was the guest speaker. In the region of 75 people attended the event providing not only a fantastic networking opportunity but also a warm and welcoming environment for those already involved in property and those new to property investment. The next event is scheduled for 2 June with guest speaker Raj Shastri. For more information visit www.brightonandhovepropertyevents.co.uk

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5/14/09

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DEFINITELY DANI 07

Dani video that featured teenage girls fighting has recently been removed from You Tube. The video was recorded at an all girls school in Dorset. Since when did it become the thing to do, to record your mates beating up some helpless girl and sticking it on the internet? Even while at school, I never understood the mentality of those kids that answered everything with a threatening ‘I’ll be waiting at the school gates’. What exactly is there to gain in beating someone to the ground? Do the people that feel the need to do this really have such a low amount of confidence that they have to physically force people below them because otherwise they would never get to experience how it feels to be bigger and better than someone else? Or is it purely a respect issue? Forcing people to beg for you to stop kicking them is no way of gaining anything but the hatred of a lot of people, the only problem being that at school no one is brave enough

to tell those that bully for no reason that they are infantile twats. It seems that in the minds of these youngsters, the cool thing to do is to beat the hell out of someone and then be excluded. That, nowadays, makes you cool, makes you bigger than everyone else and somehow gains you respect and a few more followers!? I personally wouldn’t want to have friends purely because they were scared of me. I would want my friends to like me for me and not because they were worried I would break their nose! But perhaps that is not important anymore. Perhaps it is better to be feared? If you looked into the lives of those that do the bullying you may be encouraged to feel sorry

Ill behaviour Talking of random acts of violence, did anyone get caught up during the protests on Bank holiday Monday? Peaceful protest – are you kidding me? What exactly have these people gained? No one is talking about what they were protesting about – just about what a nightmare they brought on Brighton and Hove! What the hell was the point in all that? A number of arrests, shops vandalised, and members of the public hurt! I understand the factory making the mechanisms that drop bombs is horrible, but really, campaigning against violence with violence? Good one!

Dani doesn’t think bullies deserve the sympathy violins they are simply trying to impress their mates. And yes, it’s true, many of us like to find a reason for the behaviour of some people, and blaming the behaviour on an outside source somehow makes the whole thing a little less bad. But this simply cannot be the case for all kids! The fact of the matter is that bullying will always be here, in schools, in offices, in homes. And schools claiming to have an anti-bullying policy means nothing. You can torment someone without laying a finger on them, and no amount of assemblies or teachers telling you otherwise will stop what happens behind the gates of every school every day. It is a sad world we live in but I wonder if it has ever been any different? There will have always been the kid who feels the need to take charge, the quiet kid and the quirky one, and sadly there has probably

“Perhaps it is better to be feared?” for them, but I have a hard time with that. I feel that by the time you have reached secondary school, you are well above the age where you don’t know right from wrong. People deal with situations in different ways, but many of the people who ‘happy slap’ are not acting out because of (small violins at the ready) difficult situations at home –

always been the one who threatens. Disposable incomes, kids wanting to have the same as everyone else and society’s bizarre view of what is normal, all contribute to a growing number of teenagers to fear.

Comments? Get in touch: dani@thelatest.co.uk

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5/13/09

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08 ONLY JOKING!

In & Out

Bare cheek

Films you only hire from the video shop out of desperation edition

Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Festival highlights FILM

Pliers (ex Chaka Demus and Pliers) with Rakim (ex Eric B and Rakim), Eddie (ex Charles and Eddie), and Shirlie (ex Pepsi and Shirlie), with support from Celeste (ex Daphne and Celeste.) Dell'arte Theatre, 14th May, 8.00pm, £1/50

Sing-along with The Sorrow And The Pity Dell’arte Theatre, 17th May, 8.00 pm, £10/£8

COMEDY The Gothic Novels Gimmicky sketch troupe who aren’t actually funny, but are quite good-looking and energetic, and thus have a large fan base of teenage girls. Plus they all went to Eton so they’ll be on BBC1 within two years. Upstairs at The Four and Eleven, 15th May, 08.30, £7/£5

KIDS The Return of Arsole The Clown After six months of rehab, Arsole is back. Can he stay off the bottle, or will he sit, sozzled, on the stage, weeping large gin-scented tears into a bucket of confetti? WARNING: ALMOST CERTAIN TO CONTAIN BAD LANGUAGE. Concorde 3, 17th May, 11.00am, £6/£4

WORKSHOPS How To Administer A Good Beating Norman “Knuckles” McGinty gives a masterclass on putting the boot in. Dorset Gardens Methodist Church, 18th May 11.00am, £5/£4

Astral Angi

more things to do while waiting for the 81 bus 1 Rend your garments. 2 Gnash your teeth. 3 Crack your knuckles, then remember that someone once told you this gives you arthritis. 4 Try to read a folded up newspaper while leaning with one shoulder against the side of the bus shelter but be unable to do this in a manner that is in any way comfortable. 5 Scratch your behind. 6 Sing the whole of Paul Hardcastle’s 1985 hit ‘19’, including the samples. 7 Clear your throat noisily. 8 Look up in the sky and see a cloud that looks a bit like Tanita Tikaram. 9 Sigh really loudly. 10 Slump to the ground.

• Innerspace • Three Fugitives • Three Men and a Little Lady • Clean and Sober • Earth Girls Are Easy

Out • Funny Farm • Hawks • Hamburger Hill • Clue • The Legend Of Billie Jean

MUSIC

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Brian Mitchell can be seen (and some of Joseph Nixon’s jokes heard) in the radio show, Up Yours To The Festival! with Brian and Jerry, recorded before an audience by totallyradio.com at The Latest Music Bar, Wed 20 May 9.30pm. Entrance £5/£4. Box Office: 01273 709709.

BARDSLEY’S

This week, Astral’s zodiacal names for babies

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19).

Aries babies are bold and confident and will yell and bawl to be heard. Suitable names for Arien babies: Helmut, Howard, Roger, George, Adolf, Veronica, Mary, Joan and Betty.

Cancerians need nice soft names to to balance their tough natures. Suitable names for Cancer babies: Mikey, Davey, Billy, Bobby, Teddy, Lucy, Annie, Josey, Elsie and Betty.

Librans are the bearers of balance in this world of change. Name them well. Suitable names for Libran babies: John, Johnny, Jack, Jackie, Jonty, Joanne, Joanna, Jo Jo, Jo and Betty.

Capricorns are cool as cucumbers and can carry off silly names. Suitable names for Capricorn babies: Turk, Dirk, Kirk, Sven, Ben, Gem, Hope, Charity, Belle and Betty.

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

Taurean babies like to be seen too and will soon make their mark. Suitable names for Taurus babies: Dick, Ron, Gavin, Paco, Eric, Ted, Elsie, Darlene, Monica and Betty.

Professional Leo will need a name that looks good on a CV or a summons. Suitable names for Leo babies: William, Edward, James, George, Barbara, Claire, Constance and Betty.

For Scorpios their love of furtive pursuits should dictate a name. Suitable names for Scorpio babies: Anthony, Guy, Donald, Kim, John, Margaretha, Geertruida and Betty.

Aquarians are likely to discard any given name for something wacky. Suitable names for Aquarian babies: Why waste your time with names, use a numbering system 1, 2, 3 etc…

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

Geminis need to enter this world with a name that will set them apart. Suitable names for Gemini babies: Dalrymple, Vivien, Hilary, Elliot, Meryl, Myrtle, Myffanwy and Betty.

Virgos can cope with names that reflect their romantic nature. Suitable names for Virgo babies: Gabriel, Amos, Byron, River, Twig, Fern, Coral, Pearl, Faith and Betty.

Sagis will almost certainly all need nice old fashioned names to blend in. Suitable names for Sagi babies: Jim… yes just Jim and for the girls… mmmm well why not Betty.

Pisceans love the simple life and a nice plain name to go with it always works. Suitable names for Pisces babies: Roy, Neil, John Dory, Cole(y), Chip, Muriel, and of course the lovely Betty.

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5/15/09

11:49 AM

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AROUND TOWN 09

LATEST NEWS 13

L7NEWS

News Phil Mills looks into the fiasco of the recently revealed MPs’ expenses claims

Picking pockets L abour initially bore the brunt of criticism over the MPs’ expenses scandal but it is the Tories who have abused the system the most, according to Brighton MP Des Turner. After revelations that some Conservative backbenchers claimed for cleaning swimming pools and chandeliers he said, “Some of Cameron’s nobs have really been taking the mickey by claiming for what are hardly essential parliamentary expenses. “The Tories have come off worse in this but the media is after us (Labour) – and the standing of MPs as a whole has taken a blow.” Dr Turner, Labour member for Kemp Town, said, “It seems some MPs have spent as much time looking for loopholes in the expenses rule book than they have on constituency duties. “The standing of MPs is now lower than that of journalists and bankers – it’s pretty well bottom of the heap and it will take some time to recover.” He believes that in some cases, the expenses claimed should be refunded. Sussex MPs claimed more than £300,000 on second homes to avoid commuting and only Hove MP Celia Barlow chose to travel to London every day.

“Sussex MPs claimed more than £300,000 on second homes”

A princely sum Judges joined more than 180 representatives from local law firms and barristers chambers at the Sussex Law Society’s annual dinner at the Brighton Hilton Metropole Hotel. Over £1,000 was raised for the society’s chosen charity, the Princes Trust, which

supports young people. Pictured, left to right: Judge Anthony Niblett, past president of the society Gilva Tisshaw, Judge Richard Brown, District Judge Keeley Bishop, society president Julian Hunt, and society council member Pat Richards.

David Lepper, Labour MP for Brighton Pavilion, claimed for his London flat and insisted it saved him time and enabled him to do a better job. But he had questioned the accuracy of some of the revelations. He has handed in to the Freedom of Information office (FoI) 20 pages of inaccuracies he has discovered. They include the use of names of staff which should have been kept anonymous. Mr Lepper said: “They are not necessarily major David Lepper inaccuracies but they do show some things that have been revealed are, in fact, wrong.” The cost of the FoI exercise to reveal all these expenses claims for the past four years, he said, runs to £1.25 million and, he said, for that kind of money, the information should be correct, and it should not have disclosed staff names. He said the exercise had been “shoddily” researched but, he said, he too believed some claims exposed will rightly lead to demands monies should be paid back. “Some MPs should be examining their consciences.” He said the practice of “flipping” second-home Des Turner allowance to different properties “really was pushing the limits”. The reputation of MPs, he said, had suffered but he said he and his MP colleagues were continuing to receive praise and credit from constituents they had helped.

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5/15/09

4:17 PM

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14 LETTERS | SPORT

Latest sport

Get stuck in Latest Sport looks forward to Brighton and Hove’s Takepart sports festival

LATEST

Cherri Shakewell, one of the stars of last year’s glittering awards show

LETTERS

Crazy cats Nominations have been flooding in for the Latest Awards. Don’t forget to send your suggestions to festival@thelatest.co.uk I have been to Blind Tiger Club every night it has been on, from the 1 May. Amazing atmosphere, lovely people, time passes very quickly. All the guests making a great effort with costumes and warm attitude! So many people talking about this night, everyone looks very good looking in period dress. A perfect night for Brighton, it will be sorely missed by many people, it has a following. I haven’t done half as much work as I should have this month and have pretty much jet lagged myself by going home when it’s light! Yours, Natasha Coverdale, Hove I would like to nominate Littles Hair’s Fringe Cuts for my favourite Festival and Fringe show in the Latest Awards. I’ve always been a fan of improvised comedy since I watched Whose Line Is It Anyway? on Channel 4 as youngster. This show had a similar format and the group were incredibly talented at it and kept me laughing for the whole hour. I enjoyed it so much I’m going back next week to see it again. Spencer, Lancing

Send your letters or comments to: letters@thelatest.co.uk

You can also send to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

ast year’s Takepart sports festival was such a success the programme has been doubled for 2009. This year the two-week festival, set up by the local School Sport Partnership, the City Council and NHS Brighton and Hove-Primary Care Trust, will include more than 200 events. Takepart Day in Preston Park on Saturday 27 June kick starts the festival with the largest exhibition of sports and physical activities in the country. This huge free event includes performances and workshops with the world-famous Team Extreme and workshops with Brighton’s own Stomp. Sally Gunnell, this year‘s Takepart sporting champion, will be at the park running an It‘s a Knock Out area. There will be a great range of activities including a climbing wall, ice-skating and free taster sessions in more than 50 different activities and sports, with a range for children with disabilities. Other areas include a dance stage, martial arts area, children‘s play area and large market place with food, drink and information about sports clubs and associations in the city. New this year will be The In Zone, a one-stop shop for information about sport and leisure courses, training and volunteering. On Saturday 4 and Sunday 5 July, Takepart will join up with Paddle Round the Pier. The Barefoot Open UK footvolley championships will be held at Nivea Sun Yellowave Centre on Saturday 4 July. There will also be a a schools sports festival and on Saturday 11 and Sunday 12 July there will be Takepart Local events in Hove Park, East Brighton Park, Woodingdean, Portslade and Mile Oak. Full details at takepartbrightonandhove.com or pick up a brochure from cafes and libraries.

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2 I’m ahead of time with vision (5) 1 Adopt catching position with Frenchman to get river creature (10) 3 Fills up with black stuff by a guiding light (8) 8 Flagrant violation of ban applied to the French TT (7) 4 Proposition for progress (6) 9 Find out about King Pole (5) 5 Grotesque attachment to pantomime sisters (4) 10 One translation of hatred (8) 6 Investigate how tyrant 11 Billy brought back to the bar (4) divides the river (7) 13 Take away sleep from a child (6) 7 Padre taking prune 15 Unconscious general gripped that’s not ready (10) by snake (6) 8 Teaching aid for 17 Thus returns the tyrant (4) coloured directors (10) 18 Give senior detectives a flower 12 How salmon is cooked – result: catastrophe (8) for the Turks (8) 21 Animal with one horn displaced (5) 14 Beloved apprentice 22 Walk towards a little street bird (7) in bold surroundings (7) 23 The nobleness of Sir Tony Gee (10) 16 Company with which the Queen gets more strong (6) 19 Start taking mixed cereal as breakfast ingredient (5) 20 The direction of the feathers (4)

ACROSS 1 Efface (10) 8 Pretended (7) 9 Tale (5) 10 Military body (8) 11 Fondness (4) 13 Exempt (6) 15 Madhouse (6) 17 Suspend (4) 18 Piety (8) 21 Ant (5) 22 Expelled (7) 23 Practitioner of orthodox marriage (10).

DOWN 2 Creature (5) 3 Disgrace (8) 4 Termination (6) 5 Esparto-grass (4) 6 Entangle (7) 7 Resolute (10) 8 Prescient (3-7) 12 Belief in devils (8) 14 Least (7) 16 Marine creature (3-3) 19 Stroke (5) 20 Daze (4).

015_LS424_festival

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BRIGHTON FESTIVAL 15

Last chance to see Don’t miss out, there’s still time to book for the final week of Brighton Festival ▲

ome people think there’s no point in trying to book a Brighton Festival show once the Festival has started, because they will have all sold out. But in fact, with over 165 events in the Festival this year, many have tickets right up to the last minute. Here is a selection of top Festival events for which you can still get tickets. An exclusive double-bill of top jazz, 5 Squared (23 May), features two modern jazz masters, Dave Holland and Andy Sheppard with their respective quintets. Dave Holland hit the jazz superhighway with Miles Davis in 1968, while the

Esa-Pekka Salonen conducts Mahler’s Sixth Symphony

pioneering British saxophonist Andy Sheppard has assembled a star-studded international band. Esa-Pekka Salonen makes his Brighton Festival debut as principal conductor of the Philharmonia Orchestra with Mahler’s epic and explosive Sixth Symphony (22 May). He is then joined by Piotr Anderszewski for Mozart’s Piano Concerto No.18. Orchestre National de Lorraine, featuring mezzo soprano Patricia Bardon, perform two versions of Scheherazade in the Festival’s closing concert (24 May), inspired by Anish Kapoor’s Blood Relations – currently in Fabrica – and the Middle Eastern epic Arabian Nights. Two discussions of Kapoor’s themes also have tickets available. Barbarism – The Blood of Others (22 May) examines whether humanity is cursed with a cruel gene, ready to plunge us at any moment into mayhem and destruction, with artist Jake Chapman (of the Chapman Brothers), Professor Joanna Bourke (An Intimate History of Killing) and classicist Edith Hall (Inventing the Barbarian). Zero the Hero – Why Nothing is Really Something (24 May) is Scheherazade

Melvyn Bragg

Sarah Hall & Rachel Cusk 20 May, 8pm Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome Tickets £8

The Comedy of Errors

The Comedy of Errors Extra date added: 21 May, 6pm, St Nicholas’ Rest Garden Tickets £12.50, children £7.50, family ticket £35 (2 adults and 2 children) Returns only on Fri 22, Sat 23 and Sun 24 May Barbarism – The Blood of Others 22 May, 5.30pm Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome Tickets £8 Mahler: Sixth Symphony Philharmonia/Salonen /Anderszewski 22 May, 8pm Concert Hall, Brighton Dome Tickets £30, £25, £20, £15, £10

Rachel Cusk

inspired by Kapoor’s obsession with voids and looks at why zero is such a daunting word in the English language, while half the world sees it as the incarnation of perfection. Also in the final week are talks by authors Sarah Hall & Rachel Cusk (20 May), Melvyn Bragg (22 May) and Sheila Hancock (24 May). Shakespeare’s Globe on Tour return to St Nicholas’ Rest Garden with The Comedy of Errors, and due to overwhelming demand for tickets an extra date has been added on Thursday 21 May. Sheila Hancock

Melvyn Bragg: Autobiography & Fiction 22 May, 8.30pm Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome Tickets £8 5 Squared: Dave Holland / Andy Sheppard Quintets 23 May, 8pm Concert Hall, Brighton Dome Tickets £22.50, £18.50, £6 Sheila Hancock 24 May, 2.30pm Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome Tickets £8 Zero the Hero – Why Nothing is Really Something 24 May, 5pm Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome Tickets £8 Scheherazade 24 May, 8pm Concert Hall, Brighton Dome Tickets £8 Ticket Office 01273 709709 www.brightonfestival.org

016_LS424_Hotlist

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16 HOT LIST

latest hot

LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS

city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu, includes locally-caught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a bowl of soup and glass of wine at lunchtime or a hearty threecourse dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708 www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk

Koba Bar and Venue

Restaurants British and modern European Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and good seasonal seafood. Fish can be fried, grilled or poached, plus there are vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

Chimney House Recently opened with a stylish and cosy new interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the

Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar 6-days-a-week excluding Saturday - cocktails from £2.95, wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards over the years, the latest being one of the top 50 bars in the UK. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059

Preston Park Tavern A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix in this family-friendly pub – a hidden gem, which has remained busy through word of mouth. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk

Sevendials Restaurant A smart restaurant serving excellent food and a sensible variety of menus in chic surroundings. From a simple lunch to a full à la carte dinner. Cooking reflects the seasons rather than fashion and quality is paramount, with great locally caught fish, game and desserts, and a wine list full of affordable treats. Use the terrace when the weather is warm or the dining room for a treat. 1 Buckingham Place, Brighton BN1 3TD, 01273 885555 www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk

Sam’s of Brighton Sam’s offers a more relaxed dining experience. The dishes served are classic yet creative, with a focus on seasonal ingredients. Examples are natural smoked haddock and salmon fish pie with a free-range poached egg or chargrilled Scotch rib-eye steak with proper chips, plum tomato and house butter. 1 Paston Place, Brighton BN2 1HA, 01273 76222, www.samsofbrighton.co.uk

French New Steine Bistro Cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions, creating the perfect setting for the appreciation of traditional homemade French cuisine. A hidden gem. Daily evening menu of two courses £10.50, three courses £12.50 on weekdays, and two courses £14.50, three courses £16.50 on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu Tuesday to Saturday 6–10pm. 10–11 New Steine, Brighton BN2 1PB, 01273 681546 or 695415

Indian Chaula’s This place is unlike other Indian restaurants – Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat, and a ‘light bites’ menu. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of the old lanes. The food is regional Indian cuisine executed at the highest level. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food as well as a good selection of thalis and the everpopular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national award-winning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a well chosen wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824 www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk

Italian Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish and spotless surroundings. There are brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside –

two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, Fat Leo has trendy interiors, including the toilets, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, any three courses £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk

Japanese Moshi Moshi Described by The Times as having a “fanatical following”, Moshi Moshi has become one of the leading restaurants on the South Coast. Known for its fresh, handmade sushi , Moshi Moshi is located in the heart of the Lanes. Become a Moshi member online www.moshimoshi.co.uk and get special discounts. Follow them on Twitter and Facebook. Moshi Moshi, Opticon, The Lanes, Bartholomew Square, Brighton BN1 1JS, 01273 719195

Thai Sabai Filled with stylish Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui and the restaurants of Bangkok. Browse the extensive menu of unique dishes, sample a cocktail or a bottle of wine from the comprehensive wine list. Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners. “Sanuk!” 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com

Coffee shops Moksha Caffe Brighton Moksha is Brighton’s ultimate independent café, with their own blend of locally roasted coffee made by highly trained baristas. An excellent range of homemade cakes and sandwiches all made on site with favourites like battenburg, quiches and gluten-free options. Spacious interior with artworks by local artists. Child friendly, with disabled access and free Wi-Fi. Free live music or comedy every Saturday night. Moksha Caffe, 4–5 York Place, 01273 248890

Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with greattasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience’. Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819

017_LS424_Fringe

5/13/09

4:21 PM

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BRIGHTON FRINGE 17 Mario Queen of the Circus

The leaving party Brighton Festival Fringe goes out with a bang It barely seems to have started and now it’s ending! Make the most of the last days of the Fringe with some of the best parties in town...

Closing parties The Secret Fringe Party is the brainchild of those talented Secret Garden Party festival organisers. It’s no ordinary knees–up: you’ll go through a magic portal and be guided around by a bevy of fawns stopping to admire the artwork all over the place. Not to mention the karaoke booths…

Brian Wilson goes eyeball to eyeball with The Beatles in Fringe favourite Pet Sounds vs Sergeant Pepper. The Brighton Beach Boys will square up to The Pyschedelic Love Orchestra in this epic live performance of two seminal 60s’ albums. St George’s Church, Kemp Town, 22 May 8pm, 23 May 2.30pm and 8pm, £15 or £10 for 22 May matinee only Come Into My Parlour

Free for all

Madame Geisha, East Street, 24 May, 8pm–4am, £15 advance, £18 on the door

Developed in conjunction with production company Future Shorts and hosted by the Secret Garden Party, The Secret Film Project will screen an array of film shorts and animations. A brilliant platform for firsttime directors, this has in the past showcased shorts by Mike Leigh, Ken Loach and Lynne Ramset.

The Parlure Spiegeltent is finishing as it started with the knockout combination of Shhh! Headphone Party and Guilty Pleasures. Pleasures is worth attending for resident dance troupe The Dream Bears alone – think burly male cheerleaders with bespangled behinds and better dance moves than Britney.

Madame Geisha, East Street, 21 and 28 May, 7.30pm–10pm, free

Shhh! Headphone Party, 22 and 23 May, 11.30pm – 2am, £10. Guilty Pleasures, May 24, 10pm – 2am, £13 / £12 concs

Part of Fringe City’s final fling, Fringe Street plays host to performers, musicians and artists from all corners of the globe. Expect anything from Acrobatic Violinists to A Mobile Dinner Party – not to mention the Amazing Insect Circus Museum. La Clique performers The English Gents and Mario and Queen of the Circus are also dropping by. New Road, Jubilee Square, Jubilee Street, 23 May, noon – 6pm, free

Come Into My Parlour is a cautionary tale of greed, lust, murder and the supernatural performed in authentic Victorian music hall and vaudeville style. Victorian dress is encouraged and recorded so lace up your corset and brace yourself… Fletch@St Andrews Church, Waterloo Street, 25 May, 9pm, £12 / £10 concs Guilty Pleasures

Interstella Circus

Hot tickets The Interstella Circus promises to both mesmerize and freak the socks off of you with an assortment of eye-popping acts. Featuring many Britain’s Got Talent contestants including Iona the Contortionist, hula-hooping Miss Merlin and aerialist Marada, it’s a throwback to the 1930s traditional circus. The Parlure Spiegeltent, 18 –24 May, various times. Weekend £18/£16 concs, weekdays £16/£14 concs

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015_LS424_JPT

5/15/09

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L7 travel First class

✈

JPT offer travel solutions that are second to none John Proctor Travel (JPT) – Brighton’s oldest independent Travel Agency – typifies the spirit of the city’s North Laine; an area renowned for its many thriving local businesses. Over 60 years after its creation JPT continues to hold an enviable place in Brighton’s local community. Having built a reputation for providing unique product choice, impartiality and attentive service, the agency enjoys strong support from both corporate and leisure travellers. Such loyal repeat business reflects the trust that staff at JPT have earned through sharing a wealth of world travel experience with their clients. Low staff turnover ensures continuity; when coupled with excellent product knowledge and industry training, customers can depend on efficient, professional service from the dedicated leisure and business travel teams – you will never get lost in ‘call-centre communication breakdown’. Booking your travel with JPT, who are ABTA and ATOL licensed, guarantees complete financial security as well as support from staff to minimise inconvenience, should a tour operator fail. The very latest technology ensures that JPT can access the most up-to-date availability and pricing for your itinerary. John Proctor Travel’s philosophy is simple: Why spend hours trawling the internet yourself when our expert consultants can do the work for you? Consultants in John Proctor Travel’s leisure team are proud to offer truly independent advice. Unlike some of their Tour Operator owned competitors, staff at JPT do not rely on commissions for selling preferred suppliers. JPT deal with a huge range of tour operators and can arrange tailor-made itineraries and book holiday components such as accommodation only, car hire, Eurostar and insurance. In addition, as part of the largest independent travel consortium in the UK, JPT has negotiated special fares with over 50 airlines, making their flight-only prices highly competitive. JPT runs a Cruise Club as well as the Snowscene Club to keep customers upto-date with all the latest promotions and discounts. For those organising a once in a lifetime trip there is backpacking advice, a tailored honeymoon service and a world of specialist opportunity. Whatever your holiday needs, pop in to the shop in Church Street or call the leisure team on 01273 608351. JPT’s Business Travel department offers a personalised approach to managing your corporate travel needs. The small team means that normally one consultant will start and complete your booking. In addition, at JPT, lines of communication are short and the travel management service provided can be tailored to your needs. For further details, contact the Business Travel team on 01273 811400. Present this advert when you book your holiday and enter our champagne competition

TRAVEL 19

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020_LS424_Health

5/15/09

9:28 AM

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20 HEALTH As seen on ‘Channel 4’s Embarrassing Bodies’

Allergic? It’s National Allergy Week, so what will your reaction be? asks Rebecca Hill uring the summer I am constantly surrounded by tissues. My boyfriend claims that I am followed by the Tissue Fairy, but unfortunately there is a more harrowing truth; hayfever. There are over nine million sufferers of hayfever in the UK, and over 18 million sufferers of allergies in general. Sadly, the UK has the lowest ratio of specialists to deal with the increasing rate of allergy than any other country. In light of this, I am pleased to acknowledge National Allergy Week. From 18 May to 22 May, the UK will be promoting awareness and issuing advice to all who suffer from any kind of allergy. With Britain being in the top three of all countries to have the highest rate of allergy, it is obvious that we are in need of some educating. There are people who have never experienced the impending sense of doom that hayfever brings, or how a sufferer feels when the rest of the country is rolling down windows and frolicking in the countryside. I generally think of them as the lucky ones. Statistically, one in three of us will suffer from an allergy of some kind in our life. I personally spend much of the summer cursing the fact that a slight breeze or waft of pollen can instantly bring rain over my sunny disposition. And as an added genetic blow, I'm also allergic to cats and dairy, among other things. Speculation as to why allergies are on the increase is rife, with many statistics pointing to the changing diets of Europeans over the past few decades. Others claim that the changing climate and increasing pollution are to blame. The most common allergens are pollen or dust, pets, wasps and bees, medicines and foods. Each of these allergies have a myriad proposed cures and supplements, most of which are subjective or only work for some. The fact is, there is no better time than now to find out what could help you if you or someone you know suffers from allergies. Keep your ears and eyes open during the week, and you could change someone's life. I know if someone found a way for me to picnic this summer without going blind and trailing tissues, they would be my God!

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Win Quash 100% natural hand sanitiser We have five bottles of Quash 100% Natural Hand Sanitiser 50ml to give away this National Allergy Week. Quash 100% Natural Hand Sanitiser is perfect for the beach, picnics or in the garden – ideal for busy and active families. Quash is the first hand sanitiser made from 100% natural ingredients, and is clinically proven to kill 99.9% of germs (including MRSA, E Coli and Salmonella).

The alcohol and chemical free formula means it won’t dry or damage the skin, and you’ll also score ecobrownie points for not needing to use soap and water. For a chance to win, email competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘Quash’ in the subject line, and put your name and contact details in the body of the email. Alternatively, send your answers on a postcard to the address at the front of the magazine. Winners will be selected at random. Closing date: Monday 1 June.

021_LS424_reviews/index

5/15/09

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LATEST LISTINGS 21

latest listings

YOUR WEEKLY GUIDE TO WHAT’S ON 19 – 25 MAY Under review Here’s our roundup of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.thelatest.co.uk Rimini Protokoll – Breaking News This was the German ‘reality theatre’ group’s first UK performance, and on the back of this they will surely be invited back. The show kicks-off at 8 o’clock, when the world’s live news bulletins are simultaneously broadcast on a plethora of screens across the stage. The broadcasts are interpreted by nine journalists and translators, all presided over by News Editor Andreas Osterhaus. It’s fascinating to see how the world’s events are shown around the globe and the fact that the feed is live, means even those on stage do not know how the performance will unravel. This eye-opening evening had a fast pace and remained highly engaging throughout.

Jordi Savall – Le Concert des Nations Jordi Savall has spent the last 30 years performing, recording and generally flying the flag for a vast repertoire of early music from the Mediaeval to the Baroque. For connoisseurs of this highly specialised musical epoch, the Brighton Festival‘s securing of such a passionate exponent, within the wonderful Glyndebourne Opera House for the recital, was a double treat. Savall‘s period-instrument ensemble consisted of theorbo (guitar), violin and harpsichord, with Savall himself on treble viol and bass viol (cello), producing a dreamy, delicate sound, the rhythms and colours of which conjured a window back into the seventeenth century cultural world. It would be impossible to imagine this better performed.

Theatre Royal, 9 May

Glyndebourne Opera House,10 May

★★★★✩

Rosie Wilby – I AM NESIA A very well structured and interesting show from accomplished stand-up Rosie Wilby in a lovely, intimate setting. Wilby tackled the subject of human memory with grace, confidence and a great deal of strong material. She connected well to the small audience, and ensured that everyone was at ease in her company. The show contained interesting information about the subject, interspersed easily with personal anecdotes and great gags. A really enjoyable and engaging show that deserved a later slot and a larger audience. The Quadrant, 10 May

★★★★✩ Angela Barnes

23 Stage Andrew Kay rides a Carousel

24 Film Beam me up Scottie! Weekly film reviews

26 Comedy The Penny Dreadfuls don’t want to say too much

★★★★✩ Ralph Miller

Michelle Pfeiffer starring in Chéri, p25

Paul Clark

26 Art Modern Toss return to Brighton’s Ink_d

Upstairs at 3 and 10, 8 May

Steampunk Circus The Marlborough has gone mad for Victoriana recently, so what better way to celebrate the fringe than with a Steampunk medley of cabaret and music, attended by audiences and performers in bodices and top hats? In true Fringe style, this was a spontaneous affair, with the first band only booked at the very last minute. Luckily it was the supremely talented Brighton folk band The Moulettes, who brought the house down with their infectious enthusiasm, footstomping tracks and the five utterly charming minutes where they were unable to play because they had the giggles. This is the first Fringe for The Marlborough's new management - as a venue, it‘s definitely worth a look-in.

★★★★★

Marlborough Little Theatre, 3 May

Hot review of the week Clever Peter Sharp, punchline-packed and full of fresh ideas and new twists. This sketch comedy group, nominated last year for best comedy show of the Fringe, has developed in the last year to truly find its own individual tone. In parts quite adult, in others, juvenile, it's a careful balance of influences, pulling off that most elusive of tricks – successfully transposing those random thoughts with mates in the pub into an immensely enjoyable hour-long show. Congratulations to them. A twisted and funny mind is a joy forever.

Victoria Nangle

★★★★✩

27 Kids & events Attend Big Splash and an Outdoor Games Festival

27 Books Make way for the new female Poet Laureate

28 Music Dub and disco; Dub Pistols and Sister Sledge

3 1 Clubs Hands up in the air!

32 Gay Queer theatre at the Marlborough

34 Television Weekly telly guide

Rachel Pegg

For complete and comprehensive listings go to thelatest.co.uk

022_LS424_Ads

5/15/09

10:50 AM

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Champagne Dinner, Thursday 8th October Wonderful food matched to great wines.

Game Dinner, Sunday 15th November A rich and robust autumn dinner with game from our own land

NEWICK PARK, NEWICK, NR. LEWES, EAST SUSSEX BN8 4SB +44 (0)1825 723633 bookings@newickpark.co.uk www.newickpark.co.uk

023_LS424_Stage

5/14/09

8:32 PM

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STAGE 23

Yee ha Andrew Kay takes in Carousel in London and looks forward to Oklahoma! at Chichester s a complete Rodgers and Hammerstein junkie I could not resist a trip to London to see Lesley Garrett in Carousel. It’s my joint favourite with Oklahoma! and knowing that Chichester Festival Theatre were tackling that in June it seemed an appropriate time to take a look at their work. Timeless is perhaps not the right work for these massive musicals but they are certainly enduring. As well as crafting a fine tune and a pert lyric they had the knack, for the most part, for finding a good dramatic vehicle for their talents. The West End Carousel was excellent. First class singing from the entire company, brilliant and energetic choreography and a cast that included actors of appropriate ages playing all the parts. Ms Garrett was in fine voice, can dance and played the role with a gentle touch. She also let the principals take the final curtain despite her top billing. Technology played a big part in the settings with some excellent effects but also some clunky computer generated imagery, especially in the final scene. But it still won my heart and confirmed my belief in this great merging of talents. Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Oklahoma! – one of the most loved musical romances of all times – opens in June at Chichester Festival Theatre as their large scale summer musical. Joyous and bursting with vitality, the landmark American musical

Stage listings Tuesday 19 May to Monday 1 June Brighton Dome 01273 709709 www.brightondome.org Mobilis in Mobili Can Captain Nemo harvest enough dance neutralinos to power his dance? •19 May, 9pm, £4 Mahler: Sixth Symphony Mozart Concerto No. 18 and Mahler Symphony No. 6. •22 May, 8pm, £10–30 Sheila Hancock in Conversation with Kate Mosse Actor Sheila Hancock joins Labyrinth author Kate Mosse on stage. •24 May, 2.30pm, £8

The Capitol, Horsham 01403 750220 www.thecapitolhorsham.com Bink and the Hairy Fairy Family musical from the authors of The Witch’s Bogey. •30 May, 2pm, £8/7

Chichester Festival Theatre 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk

Cyrano de Bergerac Legendary 17th century tail of secrets and passion. • 19–30 May, 7pm, £10–24 Wallenstein World premiere. A victim of his own military success, Wallenstein believes he alone can bring peace to the Empire. • 22 May–13 June, 7.45pm plus 2.15pm 30 May, 3, 6, 11 and 13 June. No shows 24, 31 May and 7 June, £26.50

Eastbourne: Congress Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Dreamboats and Petticoats Musical theatre based around the bestselling album. • 19–23 May, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Thu and Sat, £16–25 Carousel Rodgers and Hammerstein’s best loved musical – a stunning romantic fantasy. • 27–30 May, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Thu and Sat, £12–14

tells the captivating story of Oklahoma farm girl Laurey, forced to choose between Curly, the happy-go-lucky cowboy she loves and Jud, the mysterious loner she fears. The score includes the classic songs ‘The Surrey With The Fringe On Top’, ‘People Will Say We’re In Love’, ‘Oh What A Beautiful Mornin’’ and ‘Oklahoma!’. The production will be directed by John Doyle. His recent productions include Sweeney Todd, which transferred from the Watermill Theatre, Newbury to the West End and on to Broadway. The cast includes Leila Benn Harris as Laurey. Her credits include Imagine This and The Phantom Of The Opera in the West End. Natalie Casey plays Ado Annie. Her credits include a national tour of The Wedding Singer, and Fame in the West End, but she is probably best known for her part in Two Pints of Lager And A Packet of Crisps and Hollyoaks on television. Craige Els plays Jud. Recent credits include The New Yorkers at Sadler’s Wells and Never Forget in the West End. Michael Matus is Ali Hakim. His credits include Imagine This in the West End, A Midsummer Night’s Dream and Timon of Athens at Shakespeare’s Globe. Louise Plowright is Aunt Eller. She has recently appeared in Suspension at Bristol Old Vic, Shout on a national tour, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Mamma Mia, for which she was nominated for an Olivier Award for Best Performance in a Musical. Michael Xavier plays Curly. His previous credits include Spamalot, Phantom Of The Opera and Mamma Mia. The production is designed by David Farley with choreography by Nikki Woollaston, lighting by CFT associate Tim Mitchell and sound by Matt McKenzie. Musical direction comes from Catherine Jayes with orchestrations by Jonathan Tunick. Tunick has worked extensively across theatre, film and in the music industry, winning an Oscar for the film version of A Little Night Music, a Tony Award for Best Orchestrations for Titanic, as well as winning a Grammy for No One is Alone performed by Cleo Laine and an Emmy for the television adaptation of Night Of 100 Stars. Oklahoma! is at Chichester Festival Theatre 15 June – 29 August. Tickets £10 – £36 available online at www.cft.org.uk or call 01243 781312.

Eastbourne: Devonshire Park Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Pete and Me Dark comedy based on the life of Peter Cook. • 14–16 May, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Sat, £13.50-16.50 Menopause The Musical All singing, all dancing comedy Cheryl Baker, celebrating women. 70s, 80s and 90s hits. • 18-23 May, 7.45pm plus 2.30pm Wed and Sat, £13.50–19.50 The BFG Roald Dahl’s classic story about young orphan Sophie and an unexpected friendship. • 26–30 May, 7pm Tue, 11am and 2pm Wed, 2pm and 7pm Thu, 2pm and 7pm Fri, 11am, 2pm and 6pm Sat, £10.50–15.50

• 26 May, 7.30pm, £tbc Ellen Kent’s Aida A story of war, jealousy and revenge set against the Roman Colosseum. • 27 May, 7.30pm, £tbc Ellen Kent’s Turandot Traditional opera celebrating Pavarotti’s life. • 28 May, 7.30pm, £tbc

Worthing: Connaught Theatre 01323 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk My Fair Lady Worthing Musical Comedy Society present the musical based on Pygmalion. • 18–23 May, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Wed and Sat, £11–17

Worthing: Pavilion Theatre Theatre Royal 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal A View From The Bridge Arthur Miller’s Classic set in 1950s Brooklyn. • 18–24 May, 7.45pm, £32–35 Sing-A-Long-A-Hairspray Screening of the hit film starring John Travolta with lyrics on screen so sing along! Fancy dress recommended.

01323 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Annie Sussex Musical Productions present the popular musical set during the Depression in NY • 12–16 May, 7.30pm plus 2.30pm Wed and Sat, £11–15 (Tuesday sold out) Visit www.thelatest.co.uk for complete theatre listings over the festival period.

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24 FILM www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007 Tuesday 19

Thursday 21

HANNA MONTANA THE MOVIE (U) 1.00, 3.30, 6.15 ANGELS & DEMONS (12A) 8.45

ANGELS & DEMONS (12A) 10.00, 11.00, 1.15, 2.15, 4.30, 5.30, 7.45, 8.45

CORALINE 3D (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.15

FIGHTING (15) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30

THE READER (15) 8.35 STAR TREK (12A) 12.00, 2.00, 5.00 6.00, 8.00, 9.00

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2 (PG) 11.00, 12.00, 2.00, 3.00, 5.00, 6.00, 8.00, 9.00

STATE OF PLAY (12A) 8.45

STAR TREK (12A) 11.00, 2.00, 5.00, 8.15, 9.15

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (12A) 11.45, 2.30, 5.45, 8.30

Wednesday 20 ANGELS & DEMONS (12A) 11.00, 1.15, 2.15, 4.30, 5.30, 7.45, 8.45 CORALINE 3D (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 6.15 FIGHTING (15) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2 (PG) 11.00, 12.00, 2.00, 3.00, 5.00, 6.00, 8.00, 9.00

VALKYRIE (12A) 10.30am

Films showing Friday 22–Monday 25 TORMENTED (15) ALSO INCLUDED AS A PART OF THE FRINGE: SATURDAY 23, FIRST CUT TAKE 3, 11.00AM Adventurous short films written and produced by homeless and vulnerable adults at Brighton Housing Trust’s First Base Day Centre.

STAR TREK (12A) 11.00, 2.00, 5.00, 8.15, 9.15 X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (12A) 11.45, 2.30, 5.45, 8.30

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 19

Thursday 21

ANVIL! STORY OF ANVIL (15) 1.30

CHERI (15) 1.00, 6.00

CHERI (15) 6.00

SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK (15) 3.30, 8.30

GRAN TORINO (15) 11.00

Friday 22

SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK (15) 3.30, 8.30

O’ HORTEN (12A) 4.00, 9.00

Wednesday 20

Saturday 23

ANVIL! STORY OF ANVIL (15) 6.30

KID’S CLUB: HAPPY FEET (U) 11.00

CHERI (15) 1.30

BARRY LYNDON (PG) 1.00

BIG SCREAM: GRAN TORINO (15) 11.00 SYNECDOCHE, NEW YORK (15) 3.30, 8.30

www.cineworld.co.uk

0871 200 2000 Tuesday 19 ANGELS & DEMONS (12A) 11.50, 2.00, 3.00, 5.10, 6.10, 8.20, 9.20 CORALINE 3D (PG) 12.50, 3.20, 6.00, 8.40

STAR TREK (12A) 11.40, 12.30, 2.40, 3.30, 5.40, 6.30, 8.50, 9.30 X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (12A) 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00

THE GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST (12A) 9.10

Thursday 21

THE HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE (U) 11.45, 2.10, 4.30, 6.50

ANGELS & DEMONS (12A) 11.50, 2.00, 3.00, 5.10, 6.10, 8.20, 9.20

STAR TREK (12A) 11.40, 12.30, 2.40, 3.30, 5.40, 6.30, 8.50, 9.30

CORALINE 3D (PG) 12.50, 3.20, 6.00, 8.40

STATE OF PLAY (12A) 2.30, 5.30, 8.30

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2 (PG) 12.40, 1.40, 3.10, 4.10, 5.50, 6.40, 8.30, 9.10

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (12A) 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00

STAR TREK (12A) 11.40, 12.30, 2.40, 3.30, 5.40, 6.30, 8.50, 9.30

Wednesday 20

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (12A) 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00

ANGELS & DEMONS (12A) 11.50, 2.00, 3.00, 5.10, 6.10, 8.20, 9.20 CORALINE 3D (PG) 12.50, 3.20, 6.00, 8.40 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2 (PG) 12.40, 1.40, 3.10, 4.10, 5.50, 6.40, 8.30, 9.10

L7 lowdown What’s on this week

Coraline 3D (PG) Dir: Henry Selick The man who brought us The Nightmare Before Christmas teams up with fantasy writer Neil Gaiman, to bring us this delectably twisted animated film. Coraline (Dakota Fanning) escapes from her world of distracted parents to a land ruled by the Other Mother (Teri Hatcher) that soon turns from tempting to something altogether more sinister. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Star Trek (12A) Dir: JJ Abrams From Kirk (Chris Pine) brawling in a bar to the final assembly of the crew we know and love – Spock (Heroes’ Zachary Quinto), Bones (Karl Urban), Scotty (Simon Pegg), Sulu (John Cho), and Uhura (Zoe Saldana) – this is how they came to be boldly going where no one had gone before. And, of course, a battle with Romulan Nero (Eric Bana) to show their true mettle. Lush. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld

save someone you can bet this is more of the same successful formula. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon X-Men Origins: Wolverine (12A) Dir: Gavin Hood Hugh Jackman reprises his role as Wolverine, telling his story as it leads up to the beginning of the first X-Men film. With plenty of superpowered action and some excellent mean’n’moody from Liev Schreiber, not forgetting the mysterious Project X, this will knock your socks off. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon Synecdoche, New York (15) Dir: Charlie Kaufman The directorial debut of acclaimed writer Kaufman, the man behind Being John Malkovich, is unsurprisingly ambitious. Philip Seymour Hoffman is Caden, a director whose wife leaves him and new relationships run aground. So he runs off to New York to put on a stage play of brutal honesty. Showing at Duke Of York’s

Fighting (15) Dir: Dito Montiel Channing Tatum (that dashing fellow from teen flick She’s The Man) is Shawn, a man who comes to New York with nothing and finds himself drawn into the unsavoury world of bare-knuckle fighting. The punches in the ring are the least of the dodges he finds he has to pull just to survive, culminating in the fight of his life. Showing at Odeon

Cheri (15) Dir: Stephen Frears Set in 1920s Paris, Rupert Friend (Keira Knightley’s main squeeze) plays the son of a courtesan who retreats into a fantasy world after being forced to break off a relationship with an older woman. Also starring Kathy Bates and Michelle Pfeiffer. Nominated for the Golden Berlin Bear. Showing at Duke Of York’s

Angels & Demons (12A) Dir: Ron Howard Tom Hanks is back in this Da Vinci Code prequel (although director Ron Howard has spoken out naming it more a sequel than a prequel), summoned to the Vatican City to investigate a murder ominously tied to the Illuminati. With many more twists and turns, secret codes and flying-bythe-seat-of-your-pants mad dashes to

Anvil! Story Of Anvil (15) Dir: Sacha Gervasi At 14, Robb Reiner and Lipps formed the band since hailed as ‘demi-gods of Canadian metal’. Cited as influencing Metallica, Slayer and Anthrax, they never achieved popular success themselves. Now in their 50s they set off to record their 13th album for one last chance at the big time. Showing at Duke Of York’s

Films showing Friday 22–Monday 25 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

01903 206206 Tues 19–Mon 25

Weds 20–Mon 25

ANGELS & DEMONS (12A) Tue, 5.00 & 8.00. Wed & Thurs, 2.00 & 8.00. Fri & Sat, 12.30 & 8.30. Sun & Mon, 5.15 & 8.15

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2 (12A) 5.30 Wed & Thurs, 3.30 & 6.30 Fri & Sat, 1.30, 4.00, 7.30 Sun & Mon

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM FILM TIMES

Coraline 3D

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FILM 25 mumbling, doing this Detective Colombo act, acting confused about everything, but the truth of the matter is he doesn’t miss a trick. He is sharp as a tack and knows what is going on every second of the day. It’s really interesting to watch him. How is Chéri relevant to our period? Well, I think the themes are actually very modern, universal and timeless, really. The issues of ageing, and our youth-obsessed culture, certainly in America and to varying degrees across the world. Also, the value put on youth and the taboos we put on age differences and certainly the woman being older than the man, the double standard, all of those things.

Mon cheri... “We are not any more beauty-obsessed in Hollywood than the rest of the world”

What’s your attitude to beauty and age, which is a big concern particularly in Hollywood? People say ‘particularly in Hollywood’ about everything! It’s only particularly in Hollywood because it’s reported by the media, and everyday people are not. We are not any more beauty-obsessed than the rest of the world. Honestly, I think there’s a tremendous pressure on women everywhere to compete with the covers of fashion magazines. And the truth is those women don’t look like that either! So it’s a little messed up.

Did it stir memories of Dangerous Liaisons? That was so long ago! I was so excited, because I do have such fond memories of making that film, and working with Christopher and Stephen again. I have to say that Stephen hasn’t changed a bit. He’s even grumpier than he was before. But I saw through a lot of it! He walks around the set,

Is it harder to get roles as you get older? Well, I do think that the amount of roles might diminish, but I think they get more interesting. I’ve been really lucky that I’ve been able to play the roles I’ve played. I’ve also really enjoyed playing the roles I’ve played in the last few years, when I came back from my hiatus. It was kind of a selfinduced vacation.

Michelle Pfeiffer talks about starring in Chéri as a Parisian courtesan who falls for a younger man Can you tell me about this character? Well, it was challenging. What I loved about the character, and what Colette wrote and what I felt Christopher [Hampton] really captured from the novel, is that she’s not the stereotype of what you’d expect to find when you say ‘courtesan’. She was just so full of contradictions and so ahead of her time. The challenge was, within the constraints of it being a period film and the manners of that day, [was to show] the underlying emotion and how much to let out of the bag and how much not to let out of the bag. Ultimately, the decision was Stephen [Frears]’s in the editing room, and he did different versions. So I think that was probably the biggest challenge – finding that balance.

Had you got tired of Hollywood? No, I didn’t. Not consciously. I just think the dynamics of what was going in my life…I was just really busy, and had made a big move, and the family…there was just a lot consuming me. I wasn’t reading anything that compelled me to go back to work. Then, once things started to settle down, I began to think, ‘How many years has it been since I’ve worked?’ I started feeling like I was ready to go back. I was getting a little itchy.

Win a luxury night at the Duke of York’s Win a luxury cinema night for two with a free glass of wine or a soft drink watching a film of your choice at Duke of York’s cinema. Come and enjoy the luxury sensation of their balcony and slink into sumptuous comfort in the two or three-seater sofas, large armchairs or plush cinema seats, all with tables for drinks and snacks, extra leg room and fantastic sight lines. Subject to availability. Proof of age may be required to access film.

To win this week’s tickets, answer this question: What was the name of Michelle Pfeiffer’s character in Dangerous Liaisons? Send your answer with your name, address and phone number to competitions@thelatest.co.uk, putting Chéri in the subject line, or write to us at the address on page 3. Closing date: 1 June.

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26 STAND-UP COMEDY | ART

A laughing matter Victoria Nangle talks to the rather impressive comedy group The Penny Dreadfuls

he Penny Dreadfuls are a group of three rather talented fellows who have previously hit success running with their series first of sketch comedy, progressing onto a full-form linear single tale for an entire hour last year – all set in the Victorian era. Under the name of Aeneus Faversham they have won awards and had two series of The Brother Faversham on BBC Radio 7, with further radio and television development projects in the works with the BBC. All of David Reed, Thom Tuck and Humphrey Ker are clearly well spoken. Which is difficult for me because we’re telephone conferencing and I can’t tell who said what. “Shall we announce our names at the beginning of each answer?” one suggests, “Like someone reading a script incorrectly”. “We’ll have to say ‘roger’ at the end as well,” comments another. I suggest stage direction actions too. “Humphrey lounges,” is announced at this point and I ask if he’s stretching his very tall frame as well. “Um, yeah.” This won’t be simple. So, what’s the show about? “David. It’s set in the present day and it’s about a man who wakes up on an island and has to stop something happen. We don’t want to say too much as there are many twists and turns and we don’t want to spoil it.” “And there’s lots of beef,” another of them interjects. “Yes,” agrees David. “It’s a beef themed island.” Is it an Edinburgh preview? “Yes it is. But we’ve already played it in Edinburgh and in Glasgow and it went down very well up there.” So why the move away from the Victorian era? “Thom. Well, we’d done a trio of shows in the 19th century as well as two radio series, and after you’ve done something for three years there’s a real danger that people start thinking you can’t do anything else.” And are you looking forward to playing Brighton? “Yes, my girlfriend lives down there.” Who said that? “Oh, sorry, David. We’ve never had a bad gig in Brighton.” “Well done, you’ve just cursed us,” interjects one of the others. “No, it’s great in Brighton. you’ve got the sea and everything. That’s loads better than a river – eh Leicester!” Not fans of Leicester then. “And fantastic fish and chips. Well done!” Why, thank you. The Penny Dreadfuls is on Upstairs at The Three And Ten, and as a part of the Fringe Festival on 2, 3, 23 and 24 May. Humphrey, David and Thom Tickets are £9/7.

Comedy listings Tuesday 19

Thursday 21

1000 Years Of German Humour Award-winning German Comedy Ambassador Henning Wehn and the Fatherland's foremost Yodelmeister Otto Kuhnle. Komedia, 6pm and 8pm, £10 Shop Til You Drop A credit crunch comedy from the writers of Newsrevue, and The End of The World Show. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 7.30pm, £8

Atters Attree's Chaporgasmic Terrors Chap magazine satirist Michael 'Atters' Attree presents his 'magic laptop' proof of the supernatural with pioneering scientific projections Fletch At St Andrews, 7pm, £10/8. Little Hair's Fringe Cuts An improvisational comedy troupe that turns audience suggestions into hilarious scenes

instantaneously. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 6.30pm, £6/5.

Saturday 23 The Perfect Ten with Phill and Phil A Live Podcast plus Anchorman plus a DJ Set from the fabulous Phill Jupitus and Phil Wilding. Duke of York's Picturehouse, 8.30pm, £15/10.

We’re in for it Modern Toss implore you to buy this or they’re done for… The ripe-language cartoonists of Brighton, Modern Toss, return to Ink_d for an exhibition of recent work including screenprints, letterpress prints, moving things built from string and wood, and a hundred-year-old calendar. Inspired by the current economic climate, the Modern Toss boys – Joe Link and Mick Bunnage – have been developing a range of motivational pieces designed to restore national morale and boost consumer confidence. With that in mind, they’re hoping their ‘Improperganda’ range of artworks and posters will prove inspirational to anyone who wants to do their bit by buying something and putting it on their wall Modern Toss: Buy More Sh*t or We’re All F***ed, Ink_d Gallery, until 30 May

Art listings Blank Studios 108 North Street, Portslade Sonic Art Curated by sound artist and arts technologist Mike Blow, Sonic Art explores the use of sound in art, through recorded work, installations, new instruments and visualisations, showcasing 11 sound artists from UK and abroad. • Until 30 May, Thurs to Sun, 1–8pm

Fabrica Duke Street, Brighton Anish Kapoor Works by the Brighton Festival guest artistic director. •Until 24 May, 12–8pm every day (11pm on 17 May)

Regency Town House 13 Brusnwick Square, Hove Selector’s Choice Exhibition based on the theme of ‘House’ and featuring artists from the

Artists’ Open Houses. 23 and 24 May, 12–6pm

•Until 30 May, Mon–Sat 10am–6pm

Permanent Gallery

De La Warr Pavilion

Bedford Place, Brighton 01273 710389 Ocean Mims: Things For Here, Now and There Mims questions and celebrates the materials and products of mass-produced domestic design. •Until 7 June, Thurs, Fri & Sun 1pm–6pm, Sat 11am–6pm

Bexhill-on-sea 01424 229111 Susan Collins:Seascape New body of work by this artist who combines digital technologies with the classical traditions of English landscape painting. •Until 14 June, open every day, 10am–6pm

Lighthouse Ink_d Gallery North Road, Brighton 01273 645299 Modern Toss Cartoonists and ripe-language pioneers from Brighton. Their latest exhibition features screenprints, letterpress prints, moving things built from string and wood and a 100-year-old calendar.

28 Kensington Street, 01273 647197 Billy Cowie A 3D film installation, Ghosts in the Machine, that combines specialised techniques of stereoscopic filmmaking with inventive dance choreography. •Until 31 May, Wed–Sun 12–6pm

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KIDS & EVENTS | BOOKS 27

Write club

Events highlights Making waves

Game on

The Big Splash returns for 2009, taking over Brighton Marina this Sunday 24 May. The Big Splash is a celebration of British life jam-packed with free alfresco family entertainment include the Royal footmen comedy characters, giant Punch and Judy on the promenade and nine foot tall, five foot wide Bobbies on the Beat. Don’t miss the Posh Toffs who will be strolling along keeping manservents in order amid duelling for a lady’s affection. The Big Splash would not be a complete British celebration without the Beatles. The Sgt Pepper’s Band will have you singing along to great classic Beatles hits. Other entertainment includes face painting fun for kids and British themed makeand-take workshops. The day ends with a great firework finale set to a best of British medley. The Big Splash at Brighton Marina, Sunday 24 May, midday–dusk.

The First ever Brighton Outdoor Games Festival (BOGfest) takes place this Saturday 23 May. In the era of the Wii and interactive games, you won’t be surprised to hear this isn’t rounders on The Level. Outdoor gaming uses satellite (GPS) technology to give people the chance to play classic games like Pac Man or Pong (ask your parents) in the real world. Anyone can try these satellite enabled virtual games. Try your hand at saving shoppers from a herd of virtual cows let loose in the streets. More low-tech events include Tai Chi Twister, an all afternoon treasure hunt starting at 2pm, or the mass Flashmob bubbleblowing event on Hove Lawns at 6pm. Keep your eyes peeled. Game on Brighton! Brighton Outdoor Games Festival, Saturday 23 May, more info on 01273 323625, www.locomatrix.com http://bogfest.org.uk

John O’Donoghue salutes Andrew Motion and welcomes the new female Poet Laureate s we say goodbye to Andrew Motion, the last in a long line of male Poet Laureates, we welcome Carol Ann Duffy to the role of national poet. It’s going to be a very interesting time now for poetry. Motion’s reign marked several turning points. He’s the first Laureate to hand on the role. He’s also the first poet to broaden the scope of the Laureate’s reach: from addressing the TUC to writing a poem for Harry Patch, the last surviving Tommy to have fought in World War I, to his poem protesting at the invasion of Iraq, ‘Regime Change’. I think his greatest gift to us all, besides his poetry, has been the institution of the Poetry Archive. This website, holds a whole series of poetic gems, from Charles Causley’s ‘Nursery Rhyme Of Innocence And Experience’ to Dylan Thomas’s ‘In My Craft Or Sullen Art’. Anyone who’s interested in poetry could do worse than start here. My admiration for Carol Ann Duffy comes from the fact that she never succumbed to the blandishments of ‘New Generation’, the scheme to promote a disparate group of poets back in the 90s. New Generation may have been exciting, it may have established poetry as a career rather than a vocation, but I would like to think that Duffy, in walking on by when the names were being taken, thought that in the garden of English poetry it’s best to admit only to bonds of affection rather than commerce. Part seer, part muse, part prophetess, for her poetry is not about perfection of the life or of the art – it’s about how poetry is received and celebrated. To the school of Duffy let us not admit impediments. Ladies, your turn has come. Andrew Motion will be at The Tennyson Weekend, Haslemere, Surrey 22 – 24 May. www.haslemere.com/tennyson

“‘New Generation may have established poetry as a career rather than a vocation”

Events listings Tuesday 19 Spanish, French, Italian and Japanese Lessons Cactus languages Training offer taster sessions for beginners. More at www.cactuslanguagetraining. com/en Ages 18+. St Giles' College, 7pm–9pm, £3.

Thursday 21 Fabulous Beading Workshop Create a beaded amulet purse. Creative

workshop for ages 15+. Costs £25 plus materials. www.eileenmaccabe.co.uk Coach House, 10am, £25. Contact venue for details. Hopeful Futures Academics and campaigners look for more positive alternative visions for the future amid a bleak outlook of climate change. Jubilee Library, 6pm–7:30pm, free.

Book listings Friday 22

Tuesday 19

Brighton Frocks Fashion Weekend Fashion activities including theatrical catwalk show (tickets required) plus free entry to the Fashion Emporium on 23 (10am–6pm) and 24 May (10am–5pm) with a hub of stalls. Hilton Brighton Metropole, 7:30pm–11pm, £13/9

Ultimate Escapism Exploring escapism in romance novels. Whatever your dream, find your happily ever after – in fiction at least. www.hovefestival.co.uk Ages 15+. Fletch At St Andrews, 6pm, £10/8.

Saturday 23 Murray Lachlan Young Modern Cautionary Tales For

Children – Radio 4’s favourite poet arrives in Brighton with an interactive show for children aged 5–10 years. Komedia, , £7/5.

Sunday 24 Pushing Pen: A Writing Workshop A workshop to access the writer in you. Taking place at Kemp Town bookshop and cafe. Ages 15+, all levels welcome.

www.donnafullman.com Kemp Town Bookshop and Café, 11:30am–2:30pm, £20/15.

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10:21 AM

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28 MUSIC NEWS

latest music

with Jeff Hemmings

★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★

Jacobs Stories

Dub be good Dub Pistols‘ fourth album is out this week, released on Rob da Bank’s Sunday Best label

news ▲

Turned out nice The Bank Holiday weekend will hopefully witness some nice weather, but more importantly the Nice Weather for Airstrikes‘ three-day celebration of post-rock at The Druids. A free event, bands over the weekend include Last Days of Lorca, Brenda, Jacobs Stories, Bela Emerson, The Psyche Out Musikland Big Band, Appi and Everyone To The Anderson. During the day there will be more acoustic/loop based sessions, and late evening will feature DJs from the Airstrikes roster. 22-24 May, The Druids

▲

Tiger tiger You step through through a bookcase, beyond a velvet curtain and onto the red carpet at Brighton's only 1920s occasional 'speakeasy', The Blind Tiger Club… An allnight bar, games of chance and skill, match girls, live music, cabaret, table service, flaring, free-pours. blackjack, poker, piano, candles, chorus girls, and a very generous décor budget; better than a film set. With live and recorded sounds; jazz, gypsy swing, balkan beats and soulful songs from Fats Waller to Billie Holiday, brought to you by Playgroup. www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk

Hugely popular and influential disco group back in action. 27 August, Concorde 2

the

Big

Sister Sledge

ormed by ex-club promoter and largerthan-life Barry Ashworth in 1996, Dub Pistols have evolved slowly over time. This year sees them release only their fourth album but with each passing year and tour they seem to be garnering a bigger and broader fanbase for their infectious and laidback fusion of dub, ska, house and hip hop. At one point they even had a deal with the mighty Geffen Records, which Ashworth has recalled with a certain fondness: “Going from a South London geezer to a million-dollar deal with Geffen wasn’t really dangerous because I’d always lived my life to the full and I’ve always been surrounded by parties. “It just gave me the right to carry on and do what I believed I had the right to do anyway.” Although that deal went flat, the Pistols eventually re-grouped and are now settled in with Rob da Bank’s Sunday Best label. Along with Jason O’Bryan, Dub Pistols have been crafting and refining the new album, Rum & Coke, for over a year now, assisted by a galaxy of accomplished singers, writers and musicians including Ashley Slater (exFreak Power), Lindy Layton (ex-Beats International), reggae star Gregory Isaacs, DJ Justin Robertson and regular Dub Pistols cohorts Rodney P and TK Lawrence. If that sounds a bit old school, well it is… Although they don’t go in for the

gig

production techniques that attempt to emulate a long-gone sound (as is de rigeur these days, it seems), their musical roots are long and deep, extending to the flowering of house and rave culture back in the late 80s, but going back even further to punk and two-tone. Terry Hall of The Specials was a hero of Ashworth’s and it

gave him great pleasure to work with him on the Pistols‘ previous outing Speakers and Tweeters. “Getting to record a ska track with him was mind-blowing. I can’t put into words how mind-blowing it was to have him in my house, let alone meet him and record with him,“ he said. Using sequencers, samplers, keyboards, bass, guitars, turntables and MCs, Dub Pistols‘ studio creations come to life on stage where they usually get the house skanking along to their eminently dancebale grooves. Get on down! 24 May, Coalition

UPCOMING GIGS Kristin Hersh 27 May, Duke of Yorks Terry Callier 28 May, Coalition Shapeshifter 28 May, Concorde 2 Handsome Family 29 May, De La Warr Manic Street Preachers 2 June, Dome Florence & The Machine 2 June, Concorde 2 Camille O’Sullivan 5 June, Dome UFO 9 June, Concorde 2 Orbital 10 June, Dome Katy Perry 11 June, Dome De La Soul 12 June, Concorde 2 The Damned 13 June, Corn Exchange Jarvis Cocker 16 June, Dome Athlete 16 June, Concorde 2 Billy Bragg 17 June, Dome Jeff Beck 24 June, Dome

The Answer 24 June, Concorde 2 The Saturdays 25 June, Dome Georgie Fame 26 June, Dome Ozamatli 1 July, Concorde 2 M83 6 July, Concorde 2 Freak Power 10 July, Concorde 2 Loop 10-12 July, Victoria Gardens Still Black, Still Proud 13 July, Concorde 2 Sister Sledge 27 Aug, Concorde 2 Beachdown 28-31 August Average White Band 8 Sept, Concorde 2 Hockey 1 October, Digital Bloc Party 24 Oct, Brighton Centre UB40 9 Dec, Brighton Centre Jools Holland 12 Dec, Brighton Centre

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MUSIC 29

Music listings

Music highlights

Tuesday 19 to Monday 25 May

Tuesday 19 Kimya Dawson + Friends An award-winning soundtrack to Juno shot her to fame, now this anti-folk luminary graces Brighton. Komedia, 8pm, £11. Lachs Box of Lyrics UK Tour ‘09 Lach delights us with his ground-breaking three-chord folksy blues. Latest Music Bar, 9pm, £5. Ladyhawke Sassy, retro cool is oozed from every scruffy crevice of this ladies’ 80s pop revival album. Digital, 7pm, SOLD OUT. Latest Showcase Latest Music Bar, 9pm, £2. Mondo Kong + Kenelis + Deep Trip Aggressive and progressive rock cooked up with some funk! Engine Rooms, 7pm, £tbc. Quercus Lyrical, harmonically intriguing and quietly emotional. Corn Exchange, 8pm, £16.50/10. Yann Tiersen + Matt Elliot Accomplished for his beautiful minimalist sound. Concorde 2, 8pm, £12.50. Sold out.

Wednesday 20 Club NME with The Stars Down To Earth + Cloudants + Yokoko Brighton Coalition, 10pm, free. From 4 Walls To Top Draw 3 Live Hip Hop with Latest Chart toppers Mr Resonate and Lionheart plus Res1. The Hope, 9pm, £2. Gimp + Skulldozer Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc. June Tabor Corn Exchange, 8pm, £16.50/10. Sarah Jane Morris Soul driven jazz and pop. Komedia, 8pm, £15. Talvin Singh + Niladri Kumar Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £15.

Thursday 21

Jersey Budd + I Love Zagreb Freebutt, 7.30pm, free. Michael T. Clayton & The Tallahassee Tornadoes Classic American style rock n roll. Latest Music Bar, 9pm, £6/5. Nylon Sky + Supp Seraphim Rage Against The Machine runs head first into CKY and Nylon Sky emerge in the aftermath! Portland Rock Bar, 9pm, £3. Rock Night with 70s Cop + Ikoma + Death Cabaret The Providence, 8pm, £1. The Crucks + The Detonators + The Gin Club Dramatic, country-Americana with a music-hall twist! Latest Music Bar, 9pm, £5/4. The Genius of Jonny Mercer Komedia, 8.20pm, £12/10.

Saturday 23 BrokeNCYDE + Kill Paradise + The Synthetic Season Freebutt, 7.30pm, free. Buzz Club - Saw Gang Buzz + King of Conspiracy (France) + The Bardo Hectors House, 8pm, free. Keep it Cash Europe’s leading Cash tribute act. Komedia, 7.30pm, £12. Monica & the Explosion + Viv Albertine + Josh High energy acoustic punk. Portland Rock Bar, 9pm, £3. Supper Club with Cuatro Manos A sonic journey through the heyday of 50s Cuba! Hanbury Club, 7pm–2am, £7 b4 9pm. The Burlettes Celebration of 1940s popular tunes. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5/4. The Genius Of Jonny Mercer Komedia, 8.20pm, £12/10. The Xcerts Audio, 7pm, £5.

Antony & The Johnsons Dome, 7pm, Sold out. Choral Propaganda The Old Market, 7.45pm, £10. Cordelia Fellowes & The Gypsy Squat Pop Project Pop-gypsy-blues-folk. Latest Music Bar, 9pm, £5/4. Dizzy Gillespie All Star Sextet Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £17.50. The Genius of Jonny Mercer Top jazz and swing singer, Todd Gordon pays tribute to Jonny Mercer. Komedia, 8.20pm, £12/10. The Kensingtons + Matt English and the Murders + Pablo and the Paintset Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc. Zero Talent Jump-up ska punkers! Freebutt, 7.30pm, free.

Sunday 24

Friday 22

Gringo Star A little jangly, Atlanta Garage-Rock. Freebutt, 7.30pm, free. Nine Black Alps Angst-ridden, melodic pop-rock. Audio, 7pm, £tbc. Rough Trade with Ben Griffith + Eddie and Koala Friday Best breaking acts showcase. Latest Music Bar, 7.30pm, £5/4 NUS.

Baby Sheep Secret gig...The clue is in the name. Concorde 2, 7pm–10pm, £10. Sold out. Carter Brown + AKDK + Little Things + Dude Spit The Hope, 8pm, free. Comm:UNITY Reggae and Latin rhythms from Samsara plus Titan System. Komedia, 7pm, £5. Femme Fatales The Old Market, 8pm, £12.50/10.

June Tabor Queen of the folk world, and despite having partaken in a John Peel session back in the late 70s, Tabor has a reputation for being a bit sniffy about folk and its sacred purity. Which is a shame because she’s actually an unpredictable singer (conversely, with a very precise vocal style), capable of turning her hand also to French mediaeval ballads and more jazz flavoured work. As part of the Brighton Festival she’ll be performing two consecutive nights with different musicians; a great and increasingly rare opportunity to see this peerless singer. Tuesday 20 May, Corn Exchange Antony & The Johnsons Back in 2003 Antony Johnson came to the Brighton Festival as a part of Lou Reed’s Raven Tour. Six years later, and a big star in his own right, he’s back at the festival, this time on the back of new album The Crying Light. In between it was his 2005 album I Am a Bird Now that changed everything for this English-raised, New York based singer and performance artist. Thursday 21 May, Dome. Sold out. Dizzy Gillespie All Stars When the Dizzy Gillespie Big Band appeared at the Brighton Festival in 2007, they sold out the main auditorium at The Dome. Now, the cream of the big band performers including Grammy nominated artist James Moody and Grammy award winner, Slide Hampton return to the altogether more down-to-earth and dance friendly Concorde 2 Thursday 21 May, Concorde 2.

The Xcerts Following the release of their critically acclaimed debut album In The Cold Wind We Smile these Brighton-based Scots are making good headway in the swirling maelstrom of the fickle and ruthless world of indie rock where one day you’re great, and the next you’re past it. The Xcerts musical steely grit and sheets of noisy guitar may not be to everyone’s taste but they also display deft pop touches such as on ‘Just Go Home’. Saturday 23 May, Audio Dub Pistols A superb live band, this gig will be straight off the back of their prestigious shows as special guests to The Specials at London’s Brixton Academy. New single features vocals from local boy and ex-Freak Power man Ashley Slater and Gregory Isaacs, whilst Terry Hall guested with them at their last Bestival show. A new album is out now. Sunday 24 May, Coalition Kroon Kat Lounge Delighting audiences in Brighton for the past seven years with its unique blend of retro 1950s/60s Las Vegas ratpack, 1930s Berlin decadence, and 1940s Moulin Rouge, it’s a celebration of glamour and sophistication and a great opportunity to dress up and dance. Hostess Miss Nicky Mitchell will introduce house band The Hepkat Huzzahs, and guest singers Laura Vane, Gala and Tristan D’Arby, plus expect world class hula hooping, unicyclists, DJs and loads of variety talent! Sunday 24 May, Komedia

Asbo Derek + The Jazz Butcher + Cracktown + GlassEye + Phil Jeays + Brian Blaney Prince Albert, 6pm, £tbc. Bens Brother + Rhys Morgan + Passenger Concorde 2, 7pm-10pm, £12.50. Counting Crows Passionate live performance from this Californian bunch. Brighton Centre, 6.30pm, £33.50. Dub Pistols Live Brighton Coalition, 8pm, £10. Invocal + Al Start Caustic, funny and engaging left-field acoustic. Latest Music Bar, 7pm, £5/4. Roast’n’Jazz with Imogen Ryall + Terry Seabrook Latest Music Bar, 12.30pm, £10 (Includes roast).

Monday 25

Jaime Pettit

Antony & The Johnsons

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030_LS424 reviews/chart

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30 MUSIC REVIEWS | CHART

REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases othic freaks The Horrors came up with a superb debut a couple of years ago, but for their second album they’ve blurred the edges, employed some My Bloody Valentine wall of sound techniques, upped the 60s garage quotient and gone even heavier. Live they are a blast, if a little bit of a messy racket, but there is no doubting the primal appeal of this band, even if they look like rejects from The Addams Family. There isn’t a great deal of voodoo within their music but The Voodoo Trombone Quartet do deal in gusts of warm ska, rocksteady, funk and pop. Second album …Again is another summer slice of goodtime vibes, easy-going beats and bouncy rhythms. Released on the Brightonbased Freshly Squeezed label. The third album Dish It Up from Brighton’s favourite ska sound lifts you up from start to finish. Los Albertos are by no means traditionalists; each song celebrates the way of the feckless and keeps the party jumping to true Brightonian style. From the Quadrophenia inspired ‘Leslie’ to the cheeky plea for cash in ‘Julie’, to the title track of ‘Dish It Out’ taunting how ‘you can dish it out but you just can’t take it’. It’s a raucous school yard pleasure with every track. Remarkably, the six-strong band loses none of its old skool influenced sound while still delivering an album that comes across as fresh as a daisy. They’re obviously still enjoying their music. I’m happy to say that so are we. Despite making piles of money over the last few years from touring and re-living their former glories Madness haven’t got around to an album since 1999. The Liberty of Norton Valance comprises 14 tracks of quintessential Madness, led by the inimitable voice of Suggs, and backed by that easy-on-the-ear ska melodies and rhythms that served them so well in their heyday. Still strong lyrically, and still full of joie de vivre. Finally, the also-not-so-young Dub Pistols via their largin’ it central duo of Barry Ashworth continue to party like its 1989, imbibing plenty of Rum and Coke on the way, but bringing salvation in the form of consistently decent platters that cross the fertile boundaries of hip hop, house, ska and dub. It’s the guest vocalists that provide the personality to the music which is generally laid-back, if a little bit unchallenging at times. Still, Ashley Slater, Linda Layton, Rodney P, Justin Robertson and Gregory Isaacs are among those lending the proceedings some vocal depth.

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www.thelatest.co.uk/7/chart

Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10 ★ 1 Jaybee – My Imaginary Friend ★ 2 Cakeboy – Skyrider 3 Mr Resonate – Brighton Bubblin feat. Lionheart 4 Jaybee – Amen 5 Jaybee – Crazy Pearl 6 Chaos Borne – I Will 7 Tubba 3 Ply – Gerhard 8 Surrender Monkeys – John Agar Was Right 9 Tenek – If I Should Fall – ep version 10 Mr Resonate – Say What You Mean It’s all about Jaybee this week. He is clearly dominating the top five and nobbles Cakeboy to the numero uno spot climbing to the top of the charts this week from last week’s number three. While Mr Resonate’s lyrical collaboration with Lionheart is bubblin’ away at number three. 11 Sparker What a Smile 12 Tenek State of Mind 13 Chaos Borne Watching 14 Freudstein Sister Sleaze 15 Swarf Parlour Tricks 16 Mr Resonate All that I’m not 17 White Star Liners Tyre Pressure Was the Least of His Worries 18 The Mojo Fins Always Now 19 Sparker The Lost Weekend 20 Chaos Borne The Moment 21 Kontour The Kennedy Syndrome 22 sMs A New Sequence 23 The Woo!worths K O N I C H I W A (Dem Oh) 24 Mr Resonate The Opposite Vibe 25 Glitters from Billy Little Star

26 Thunk Micromophone 27 Kings of the Wild Front Ear Shop ‘Til You Drop 28 Sparker 1000 Days (Now I Want You) 29 sMs I'm Sorry Dave 30 Glitters from Billy Holiday 31 Breakinbear Breeze 32 12 Stone Toddler Under the Weather 33 Digitalis No Control 34 Glitters from Billy Holiday 35 R21 Proved You Wrong 36 Alien 6 Angel (Radio edit) 37 Ettin Where to begin 38 Villareal We Must Stop Meeting Like This 39 White Bait Ten Gallon Hat 40 Pete Lambrou with Rhia Lock To Silence Our Little Hearts

Crossword solutions Solution Cryptic 194

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ACROSS: 1 Fieldmouse 8 Blatant 9 Learn 10 Aversion 11 Liar 13 Kidnap 15 Asleep 17 Ogre 18 Disaster 21 Rhino 22 Mallard 23 Generosity DOWN: 2 Image 3 Loadstar 4 Motion 5 Ugly 6 Examine 7 Unprepared 8 Blackboard 12 Osmanlis 14 Darling 16 Firmer 19 Toast 20 Down Solution to Quick 193

ACROSS: 1 Obliterate 8 Feigned 9 Fable 10 Regiment 11 Love 13 Immune 15 Bedlam 17 Hang 18 Devotion 21 Emmet 22 Evicted 23 Monogamist DOWN: 2 Being 3 Ignominy 4 Ending 5 Alfa 6 Embroil 7 Determined 8 Far-sighted 12 Demonism 14 Minimum 16 Sea-egg 19 Ictus 20 Stun © Crossword Shop

031_LS424_clublist/clubhi

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BARS & CLUBS 31

Bar & Club listings

Bar & Club highlights

Tuesday 19 to Monday 25 May

Tuesday 19 Audio Snide.10pm–2am, £3/2. Brighton Coalition Latin Fever. 10pm–2am, free. Digital Glitterati 11pm–3am, £5/3 Funky Buddha Lounge It’s ***King Good. Prescription cheese and chart. 10.30pm, £1 New Hero This Exists Pop culture. 10pm, £2 Pavilion Tavern Guerrilla Rocks. Indie, rock, metal and punk mash-up. 10.30pm–2am, £1–£3

Wednesday 20 Arc Life Is Easy. 10pm, free b4 12–£1 after. Audio Supercharged. 11pm–2.30am, £3/1 Brighton Coalition Club NME. A beerfest with live NME bands & DJs. 10.30pm–3.30am, free. Funky Buddha Lounge NYC. 11pm–6am, £3/2 Po Na Na Urban Chic. 10pm–3am, free/£2 Volks Genetics. 10pm–3am, £1 b4 12–£2 after.

Thursday 21 Audio Shameless Presents Quids In. 11pm, £1 Brighton Coalition Love Blow. R’n’B, funky house and floor-fillers. 10.30pm–3am, £2/1 NUS. Digital Nu Frontier. 11pm–4am, £5. Funky Buddha Lounge Love Lockdown. 7.30pm, £tbc Honey Club Contagious. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1 New Hero Pop Kraft. 10pm–2am, £2 Ocean Rooms Hot Damm. 7.30pm–3am, £5/3. Om Bar and Club Thank Funk It’s Thursday. Funk, dub,reggae and dub-step. 8.30pm, free. Po Na Na Secret Discotheque. 10pm–3am, £3/2

Friday 22 Arc Some Kind of Wonderful. 11pm–3am, £3 Audio Battlejam. Genre erasing, maverick turntablism. 11pm- 4am, £tbc. Brighton Coalition Carnivalesque – Brighton Festival Closing Party! 10.30pm-4am, £11-6. Concorde 2 Jah Shaka Sound System. 11pm–4am, £12. Digital Stonelove. Indie rock. 11pm–3am, £4 Engine Rooms Deviant. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Funky Buddha Lounge Release Bank Holiday Special. 11pm, £6-3. Funky Fish The Funkyfish. 10pm–3am, £5/3.50 Hanbury Club Mojo To Go Go. Swinging 60s psychedelia, soul, beat, ska. 7pm–2am, £5/4. Honey Club Kidology. Uplifting and bass-driven house music. 11pm–4am, £5. Komedia Da Doo Ron Ron. A fabalicious mix of 60s femme pop. 11pm–3am, £tbc. New Hero Somewhere in the Universe… Leading alt electro dance party. 10pm, £5/3 Ocean Rooms Road Trip. R’n’B, Hip Hop, Soulful Funky House. 10.30pm, £10/7. Parlure Spiegeltent Shhh! Headphone Party. 11.30pm–2am, £10. Pavilion Tavern Kick Out The Jams. Rock’n’Roll mayhem. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3. Po Na Na Ice Box. House. 10pm–3am, £5/4 Tru Friday Nights. 10pm–2am, £free b4 11/5 after.

Volks Autopsy. Darkside D’n’B, expect wall-towall bass and sweat. 11pm, £tbc.

with Jaime Pettit

Saturday 23 Arc Hold Up. Indie night. 10.30pm–4am, £5 Audio SoL’s Winter Sessions. 11pm–4am, free. Brighton Coalition Pop Musik. Unadulterated pop pleasures. 11pm–4am, £10–6. Concorde 2 Devotion. Revered and respected. 11pm–4am, £10. Digital Blah Blah Blah. 11pm–4am, £10/7. Engine Rooms Lowlife. Brighton’s longest running goth and glam rock night. 11pm–3am, £5. Funky Buddha Lounge Electronic Disco. Dolled out by HRH Queen Josephine and Miss Masters. 3am, £5/3. Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. Disco, funk, house and rare groove from Juice FM’s Mike Panteli. 10pm-3am, £10. Honey Club Sevensins. Big room electro, trance and house. 10.30pm–5am, £12/5 NUS Komedia Spellbound. Rebellious 80’s glam night. 10.30pm, £5. La Tropicale Rio Rox. Re-creating the sunny carnival capers with live samba band, Latin House and Brazilian beats. 8.30pm–3am, £7. New Hero It Is Still 1985. 10pm, £3 Ocean Rooms Zapback – 3rd Birthday. Three raving rooms of Old Skool, Jungle, Breaks and Bass. 10.30pm, £5 b4 12. Parlure Spiegeltent Shhh! Headphone Party. 11.30pm–2am, £10. Po Na Na Silk. R’n’B, House. 10pm–3am, £10/5 Volks Slackers Convention. Tasty breaks and beats. 11pm, £5.

Nu Frontier Crossing the vibes in techno and dubstep divides with a 90 minute set from Marcus Intalex. Marcus, a veteran of his genre, demonstrates his sharp flare for style.With driving techy basslines, dark dub and smooth soulful D’n’B. All kicked out from Digital’s crystal clear Funktion One system for noise intensity. Thursday 21 May, Digital Carnivalesque – Brighton Festival Closing Party Indoor carnival capers with a Saints and Sinners theme. Jump up, shimmy and shake to live 10piece horny afrobeat from Yaaba Funk and diva driven soulful funk. Get devilish to the DJs rhythms and indulge in heavenly cake at this unmissable Fringe party! Friday 22 May, Brighton Coalition

Jah Shaka Sound System Heavy dub and spiritual roots with the bassiest of bass and African influenced percussion from the godfather of his genre. Friday 22 May, Concorde 2 The Secret Fringe Party The masterminds behind the most freespirited and radically inclusive and expressive summer bash host Brighton’s Fringe closer! Get lost in an artladen labyrinth, be baffled by live performance or dash through a magic portal to a hidden venue! Plus great music from Rosie Oddie and The Odd Squad, Yearner Babies and many more. Sunday 24 May, Madame Geisha

Carnivalesque

Sunday 24 Arc Irie. Ragga, R’n’B. 10pm–3am, £5/3 Brighton Coalition Dub Pistols. Body boppin Dub-Hop infused with ska. 10pm–3am, £10. Digital Wired. Radio 1’s Dave Spoon rocks Digital. 11pm–4am, £10. Funky Buddha Lounge God Made Me Funky. The Sunday sermon. 11pm, £tbc. Honey Club 28th Street Presents.... Party nonsense with house, electro and driving basslines. 10pm–4am, £5/8. Madame Geisha The Secret Fringe Party. 8pm–5am, £18/15. Po Na Na Bank Holiday May Masquerade Ball. 10pm, £5-3. The Open House We Change The Frequency. Global tunes from across the genres. 8pm, free.

Monday 25 Coalition Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free. Honey Club Disco Babe. 10.30pm–2.30am, £3/1 Om Bar and Club Spun. 8.30pm, £3 Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys.10pm–2.30am, £3/1 Jaime Pettit

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032_LS424 gay news

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32 LATEST GAY

BRIGHTON’S ONLY WEEKLY GAY GUIDE NEWS

Close shave The show will go on for a Fringe performance made homeless when a venue was cancelled at the eleventh hour. The Swinging Salami Showcase Spectacular will be staged at the Blind Tiger Club – Playgroup‘s fringe venue in a secret location – on Friday and Saturday, 22 and 23 May. The show was originally put together by Brighton cabaret favourites Boogaloo Stu and Fake Bush to be staged in the Sundown Show Bar, a temporary venue to be located next to St Peter’s Church.

Captain Kidd

Le Gateau Chocolat

But Sundown, run by the people behind Beachdown Festival, was cancelled just a week before Brighton Festival Fringe began because of unexpected costs. The Swinging Salami will feature two of the stars from previous Fringe hit La Clique, drag legend Le Gateau Chocolat and male burlesque performer Captain Kidd. Other performers will include Dolly Rocket, Team Mud Cheerleaders and The Sparklemotion Showponies. Fri 22 and Sat 23 May, 8pm–11pm Tickets £10/8. Call the Dome box office on 01273 709709 or visit www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk

Play gay Latest Gay talks to Tarik Elmoutawakil of The Marlborough Theatre about the Fringe and why Brighton needs queer theatre his year’s Fringe programme at The Marlborough Theatre has been exceptionally ambitious. The venue is staging 80 shows in three weeks, a tough job for experienced venues, but for Tarik Elmoutawakil, who became theatre manager only last autumn, it has been a phenomenal challenge. There has been cross-dressed (even more than is traditional) Shakespeare, queer music hall, steampunk, a séance, tons of theatre, Club Wotever and Ladygarden, a group of female comics who picked up an award for being one of the highlights of the whole Fringe. Still to come are innovative shows such as Marlborough Motherf***er, presented by Carnival Catalyst Productions, with the best of London and Brighton’s queer scene. Not bad for a venue which could not function without its volunteers. As with any fledgling venue, there have of course been some teething problems, such as occasional over-running or disappointing ticket sales. These are hiccups of new venue management, which will be ironed out as the weeks go by. The important thing is the charismatic Regency theatre has been offering something not found anywhere else.

Money raisers Stonewall’s sixth annual Brighton Equality Walk drew more walkers and raised more money than ever. More than 400 walkers joined hosts Brian Paddick and Mr Gay UK Dino Gamecho, on the 10k walk to raise over £50,000, £20,000 more than last year. The event on Sunday 3 May was supported by American Express and opened by Garry Peltzer Dunn, Mayor of Brighton and Hove. Walkers followed a route set by BLAGSS, Brighton Lesbian and Gay Sports Society, ending with a

prize-giving ceremony at Legends. “Stonewall’s work can make an even greater difference to the lives of young lesbian, gay and bisexual people around the country, thanks to the success of this year’s equality walk,” said Laura Doughty, Stonewall’s director of fundraising. “This will help us towards our aim of producing and sending a DVD of FIT, our successful play for schools, to every secondary school in Britain so they have more confidence in tackling homophobic bullying.”

“We offer lots of things that aren’t offered on the gay highway” Tarik worked at the Marlborough pub for six years so he knows how important it is as part of Brighton’s gay scene. He has tried to make his theatre programming totally inclusive and to accommodate as many requests for performance space as possible. “I feel I have been given a good opportunity by the pub manager, Styles Beagley, and I am very grateful for that,“ he explains. “So rather than saying no to people, we’ll say yes. “We offer lots of things that aren’t offered on the gay highway [around St James’s Street]. “Brighton’s a real alternative place and I don’t see there is much for an alternative crowd. We really want to offer something that is different.“ The Marlborough Theatre aims to be as versatile as possible and is likely to be found staging anything from queer theatre or spoken word about the Stonewall riots to a drag show. Tarik said the venue was very grateful to its “fantastic“ team of volunteers who do everything from box office to decorating. Any queer performers who want to take an open mike slot at Marlborough Motherf***er should contact Tarik at carnivalcataylst@hotmail.com Marlborough Motherf***er, Thurs 21 May, 10.30pm. £5/4 Call 01273 709709 or www.brightonfestivalfringe.org.uk

033_LS424 gay listings

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LATEST GAY 33

Gay listings Tuesday 19 to Monday 25 May Tuesday 19 Amsterdam Tuesday Social. Chase the Monday blues with wine and music. 7pm, free Brighton Tavern Games Galore. Sticking it to maturity. 12pm, free Ghetto Quiz Alicious & Twisted Karaoke. Hosted by Mistress Cat. 8pm, free Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday. Friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Drag King Night. Relax with a handsome king. 8pm, free Queen’s Arms Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free Revenge Sound As A Pound. DJ LadyBex throwing out 80s, 90s, 00s, electro, pop, dance and cheese. Plus a raffle prize! 10.30pm, £1 The Basement Scene Queen. DJ Lil Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free. The Sabai Pavilion The Lady Boys Of Bangkok – The Mile High Tour. 8pm, £22/10

Wednesday 20 Amsterdam Student Karaoke. 8pm, free. Brighton Tavern Wednesday’s Wine Club. 12pm, free. Ghetto Transition. DJ Peter Von Sleaze spins rock, metal and 80s. 10pm, £2.50 Latest Music Bar Gay Tango. 7–8pm absolute beginners, 8–9.30pm improvers, 9.30–11pm practical/social dancing. From 7pm, £10 Legends Gabbi’s Fun & Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre In-house Darts League. Nightly and annual prizes. 8pm, £3 R-Bar Midweek Chill. DJ Lil Alex spins on the decks plus a 99p rush bar! 12pm, free Revenge Guilty. Big funky and electro beats. 11pm–3am, free NUS or b4 12–£2 after Star Inn Charity Jukebox. 12pm–11pm, free The Basement Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Get down and filthy with dirty handbag and house tunes laid out by DJ Gabbi. 11pm–4am, free The Sabai Pavilion Lady Boys Of Bangkok – The Mile High Tour. 8pm, £22/10

Thursday 21 Charles Street Bar Mad Cow. £1.25 a pint, £1 a bottle, small wine or shot. 8pm–11pm, £1 Charles Street Club Religion. Funky house 10pm–3am, £4/3 NUS Ghetto HDSM. Leather to lycra with Jon Byrne splashing out hard dirty sexy music. 10pm, £4/3 Marlborough Bar & Theatre Marlborough Motherf***er. An exploded mirrorball of sheer queer decadence! 10.30pm–1.30am, £5/4 Marlborough Bar & Theatre Open Mic Night. Hosted by Lucy Checkley. 9pm, free Queen’s Arms See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-Bar Pre-Girls On Top Party. Verity sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free Revenge Girls On Top.10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30 with passes, £4/5 after The Basement Boys Below. Men only night. Chart hit remixes and dance anthems. 11pm–4am, free The Sabai Pavilion Lady Boys Of Bangkok – The Mile High Tour. Second show at 9.15pm. 7pm, £22/10

Friday. Funk, Disco & Retro Classics all night! 12pm, free The Sabai Pavilion Lady Boys Of Bangkok Bangkok. 7pm and 9.15pm, £12

Saturday 23 Amsterdam Sun Downers. House music. 8pm–2am, free Charles Street Club Mardi Gras. 11pm–3am, £5/3 Ghetto Wigout. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. 10pm, free b4 11 Legends Pre-Ignition. DJs from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Party Night. Fab tunes plus live music. 8pm–2am, free Queen’s Arms Cabaret: Betty Swollocks + Karaoke. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.305.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin til midnite! Bar open 12pm, free. R-Bar Kinky Classics. From 9pm with Dulcie Danger. Bar open 12pm–7am, free Revenge Kinky Dangerous presents Bimbo Jones. 10.30pm–4am, £7/3 The Basement Ignition. Funky house and chart remixes from DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free The PV at The Jury’s Out Viva La Divas + Booty Call. Live music from 6pm! Then Booty Call kicks in from 8.30pm. Bar open 12pm, free The Sabai Pavilion The Lady Boys Of Bangkok – The Mile High Tour 7pm and 9.15pm, £22/10 The Zone Presents... Sally Vate. Songs and tall tales to be heard tonight! 9.30pm, free

Sunday 24 Amsterdam Sunday Lunch & Connie’s Karaoke. Roast then karaoke from 8pm. 12pm–1am, free Audio Sunday Sundae. Disco tinged classic dance with Kate Wildblood and co. 6pm, £5/3 Charles Street Bar Showtime. A spellbinding debut performance from All Mouth & No Trousers. 7.15pm, free Followed by: Drag Idol V. 8.30pm, free. Ghetto Nervous Twitch. Fresh krunked up electro fashion party. 9pm, free. Honey Club Rebel. Expect the very best electro funky house at this tough and notoriously sexy after party. 3am, £8/6. Legends Sunday Cabaret. Then chill out in the bar. 3.15pm, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Sunday Quiz. 7pm, £1 per entrant Parlure Spiegeltent Guilty Pleasures – Heroes & Villains. Celebrating feel-good pop with DJ Sean Rowley and The Dream Bears Dancers. 10pm-2am, £13/12. Queen’s Arms Cabaret: Kitty Litter + Karaoke. (5.30pm). 12pm, free R-Bar Sublime Sundays & Barmy Bingo. 12pm–2am, free The Basement Fever. Disco and pop remixes with new DJ, Ross Alexander. 11pm–4am, free The Sabai Pavilion The Lady Boys Of Bangkok – The Mile High Tour 5pm and 7.30pm, £22/10 Tru Wild Fruit Peepshow. Three rooms of top titilation hosted by Dolly Rocket. Filthy tunes from guest Seamus Haji plus pop, mish mash and R’n’B. 10pm–3am, £12–6.

Friday 22 Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies. Bar open 11am, free Charles Street Club Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 Ghetto Popstarz. Indie recent and retro with Tommy Turntables. 10pm, free b4 11pm Legends Pre-Celebration. Pure Pop. 7pm, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Girls Night. Two floors of mayhem with DJs. 8pm–2am, free Queen’s Arms Camp Attack. Unlimited drinks for £20! 9pm, free R-Bar Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free Revenge Lollipop Vs Altitude. 10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Girly pop and handbag. 11pm–4am, free The PV at The Jury’s Out Thank Funk It’s

Monday 25 Amsterdam The Big Quiz. 7pm, £1 per player Charles Street Club Studio 150. 10pm–2am, £1.50 Ghetto Frat Party. Indie, electro and credible pop plus drinking games! 10pm, £1.50 Legends Dave Lynn & Friends. Hysterical night of cabaret from 9.30pm. Open 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Trans Night. Hosted with the Clare Project. 8.30pm, free R-Bar Miss Jason’s Mad house. Regular cabaret night plus a Wii Zone and free pool! 10pm, free The Basement Back To The 80s & 90s. Nostalgic floor-fillers. 11pm–4am, free The Sabai Pavilion The Lady Boys Of Bangkok. – The Mile High TourSecond show at 9.15pm. 7pm, £22/10

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34 DANI | FILMS ON TV

latestTV

YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE Dani on TV

19 – 25 MAY

She says it how she sees it

Find Me A Family Tuesday 9pm Channel Four his documentary is the first of its kind. The first episode follows a couple, Richard and Cathy, for two years as they try and adopt a child. Their only child, Rachel, was conceived using fertility treatments and they would like to have a little sister for her so have decided to adopt. But there are a couple of problems. Firstly, there is a huge assessment process in which the potential parents are put through a number of ‘tests’. Also, most children waiting to be adopted are not exactly what the adopting public are looking for, many have disabilities and need a lot of emotional support, or they have siblings who want to be kept together. A man called David, who was in care until he was 18, has set up a course where he tries to encourage families looking to adopt to stretch their own expectations. Cathy and Richard get a chance to test themselves and are ‘lent’ two children – a brother and sister, for a weekend, to see if their minds can be changed as to whether they would be able to manage if they adopted a sibling group. For them, they also have to take their own daughter into consideration. The entire weekend is being watched by Richard and Kathy’s social worker who will use the time to build up her portfolio of the couple and assess them. David’s experiment of giving the family a test sibling group seems to have worked and Kathy and Richard feel they could adopt a sibling group. Does this experiment show that it is our ideals that stop the adoption of larger groups and children with disabilities? Perhaps if more people got the chance to see what they can handle we would have more children in permanent homes. Richard and Cathy get to see the first draft of their assessment. It seems that their passion to adopt could be their downfall. The social worker picked up on the fact that while talking about the adoption Cathy became very passionate and marked that as a negative. I have never really seen the process a family has to go through to adopt, and this is an eye opener. These families are scrutinised and picked apart and although they have to be for the safety and happiness of the adoptive child, it is also incredibly hard on the family. Richard and Cathy were given the thumbs up by the adoptive panel and now have to choose their child. The issues this programme brings up are numerous and it makes you really think about what you would be able to deal with let alone what you want.

Films on TV Top tips for your week of flicks TUESDAY 19

The Village ★★★✩✩ (2004, BBC1, 10.40pm. Dir M Night Shyamalan) When there really is something nasty in the woods you’d better beware, especially when you’re in a nineteenth century village. No police helicopters and the like to call. Lucky old Bryce Dallas Howard, Joaquin Phoenix, Adrien Brody, Sigourney Weaver and Brendan Gleeson. Average film, stellar cast.

Clint Eastwood directed and starred in this much acclaimed Western, widely regarded as a pretty accurate portrayal of the time. Retired gunslinger Clint reluctantly takes on one last job with the help of his old partner and a young whippersnapper of a newbie. With an excellent cast and array of awards, this is Friday night class.

SATURDAY 23 The Goonies ★★★★★

WEDNESDAY 20

(1985, Five, 5.55pm. Dir Richard Donner) “Hey you guys!” Now an iconic classic of any 80s childhood. A motley crew of kids go on a treasure hunt, dodging hoods and traps along the way to try to raise the funds to save their parents’ house. Worth noticing that the ‘kids’ include young Josh Brolin (W), Sean Astin (Lord of the Rings) and Corey Feldman (Lost Boys).

Mr Smith Goes To Washington ★★★★✩

SUNDAY 24

(1939, Film4, 4.45pm. Dir Frank Capra) Jimmy Stewart stars in this ode to political corruption as the naive man appointed to the fill a post in the US Senate. He soon finds that his idealistic plans clash with those of the corrupt incumbants, but will he back down? Will he, heck! Lovely for this current climate of optimism in US politics.

THURSDAY 21

There Will Be Blood ★★★★★ (2007, Sky Movies Indie, 7.20pm. Dir Paul Thomas Anderson) An epic tale of an oil empire built up from scratch in America’s Wild West. Starring Daniel Day-Lewis on terrifying form as a prospector determined to make his fortune at any costs, morphing from hard-working to twisted tyrant before your eyes.

FRIDAY 22

The Unforgiven ★★★★✩ (1992, ITV1, 10.35pm. Dir Clint Eastwood)

Grease ★★★★★ (1978, Film4, 6.50pm. Dir Randal Kleiser) The epitome of high school musical cool, before Disney sprang upon the idea and got its teeth stuck in. Watch John Travolta fall for Olivia NewtonJohn all over again with classic tunes like ‘Summer Lovin’, ‘Greased Lightning’ and ‘Beauty School Drop Out’. Warning: It’s impossible not to singlaong at some point.

MONDAY 25

National Treasure ★★★✩✩ (2004, BBC1, 5pm. Dir Jon Turteltaub) Nic Cage stars in this cross between Indiana Jones and The Da Vinci Code, with plenty of advenutre, capers and chases mixed in with a little bit of brainwork. Co-starring Diane Kruger as the museum employee caught up in the pursuit of a stolen artifact, Jon Voight as young Cage’s pa, and Sean Bean as the pal turned baddie. Victoria Nangle Grease, Sunday 24, 6.50pm, Film4

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tuesday 19 The Trouble With Working Women BBC2, 9pm In the second of this thoughtprovoking series, Sophie Raworth (pictured) and Justin Rowlett look at pay. It’s almost 40 years since the passing of the Equal Pay Act, and yet there is still a gap between men’s and women’s wages. Time for a bit of investigation.

Holiday Showdown ITV1, 9pm One man’s meat is another man’s poison, as demonstrated in this week’s holiday swap. The Brown family take the Maybes on a survival course in Scotland. Naturally, the Maybes retaliate with a week of all-inclusive decadence in Lanzarote, with the Brown’s teenage daughter taking to it a little too well. Go rebel girl!

We Need Answers BBC4, 10pm Another chance to catch Mark Watson (pictured), Tim Key and Alex Horne leading this very funny quiz based on their awardwinning Edinburgh show. Celebrity guests are Michael Rosen and Germaine Greer, with questions pitched from audience members and a text-messaging service. Surreal and truly fun.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 The Unsellables 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.30pm Chelsea Flower Show 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Moving On 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.25 Tronji 3.50 Funky Fables 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 MyWish 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders With an angry Peggy on the warpath, Billy’s mistake eats away at him. It thinks he’s an apple, right, so joins the Munch Bunch and takes a massive bite. Innit. 8.00 Holby City Connie tries to ignore her birthday by undertaking a surgery marathon. Silly lady with her birthday avoidance. No cake for her! 9.00 New Tricks Drama series. The family of one of the last men to be hanged in Britain claim that he was the victim of a miscarriage of justice due to police corruption. As the team reinvestigate the case, they are confronted with some uncomfortable truths about the good old days. Have they not seen Life On Mars? 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Party Election Broadcast For The English Local Elections By The Liberal Democrats 10.40 FILM: The Village (2004) Starring Joaquin Phoenix and Bryce Dallas Howard. Thriller in which the residents of an isolated 19th-century village live in fear of mysterious creatures that inhabit the surrounding woodland. Deadly squirrels, eh? 12.20am FILM: Gladiatress (2004) 1.45 Weatherview 1.50 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.20 Rocket Science 3.20 Real Rescues 4.05 BBC News

6.00 – 10.15am Children’s television 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Science Clips 11.10 Science Clips 11.20 The Maths Channel 11.30 The Maths Channel 11.40 Focus 11.50 Focus 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Castle In The Country 1.30 Animal 24:7 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.55 Party Election Broadcast For The European Parliament By The Christian Party Christian People’s Alliance 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Menu The country’s top chefs compete to cook a homecoming dinner for the forces returning from Afghanistan. 7.00 Coast In Cornwall, Neil Oliver discovers the network of communication cables under Porthcurno beach, which wrap around the world. Like arms in a pop song. 8.00 Chelsea Flower Show It is judgement day at the Chelsea Flower Show. Can roses take the pressure? 9.00 The Trouble With Working Women See highlights. 10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland Music show. Joining Jools live in the studio are Kasabian, The Pretenders, Baaba Maal and Moscow-born, New York-bred Regina Spektor. Plus north Londoners Golden Silvers make their ‘Later’ debut. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines, with Jeremy Paxman. 11.20 Party Election Broadcast For The English Local Elections By The Liberal Democrats 11.25 The Wire Herc and Carver register an imaginary C.I. And with the package still weak, business dries up for Bodie and Poot. Plus McNulty hits the booze again. Silly Billy. 12.20am High Altitude 12.50 BBC News BBC 3.00 PSHE: Lifeschool A-Z

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 The Biggest Loser 5.00 Divided

6.00am Inuk 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Parents & Teens: Welcome To My World 10.00 My Crazy Media Life 10.30 How To Dump Your Mates 11.00 Teen Tycoons 11.30 Battlefront 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Supporting Acts 12.45 Life Begins Again 1.45 FILM: Man With The Gun (1955) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ste frets about the state of his flat when Mike asks him to babysit, so Abi and Natty hurry round to help him clean up. There’s something suss about those two. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix Stylist Gok Wan meets Ann-Marie from Exmouth, who is seemingly reluctant to leave the 1980s behind, and then he hits the high street with Ruby Wax. 9.00 1066: The Battle For Middle Earth Documentary drama in which Justin Hardy re-imagines the story of 1066, examining the events around the great battles of Fulford, Stamford Bridge and Hastings. 10.35 The Big Bang Theory Penny’s hair accessories business gets out of hand when an over-caffeinated Sheldon takes charge. 11.05 The Big Bang Theory Penny develops a rivalry with a sexy new female neighbour. 11.35 My Name Is Earl Randy decides to take care of Earl when the hospital attempts to discharge him. 12.05am PokerStars.com European Poker Tour 1.05 Gillette World Sport 1.35 Superbike World Championship 2009 2.05 FIA GT Championship 2.35 4Sport: Destination 2012 3.30 Freesports On 4 4.00 Ancient Egypt (x5) 5.15 Making It 5.20 Forum: Once Upon A Planet(x2)

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Chiro 9.00 Hana’s Helpline 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Colin And Justin’s How Not To Decorate 12.45pm Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.10 FILM: Perfect Romance (2004) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Shark-attack rumours hit the bay. Is there no safe place in this idyllic accident-prone retreat?! 6.30 Animal Rescue Squad Michaela Strachan and Matt Baker present a wildlife series. 6.55 PEB: The Conservative Party 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. 8.00 Helicopter Warfare Documentary series examining historic helicopter operations. This instalment sees a group of Vietnam veterans relive the most traumatic mission of their lives – a perilous trip into enemy territory to rescue more than 100 stranded allies. 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. Nick and Riley investigate a suspicious attack on a skydiver. When Catherine and Greg are then called to a double murder, it seems the two cases share a surprising connection. 10.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama. Calleigh is abducted by two gamblers who force her to cover up a murder. 11.00 CSI: NY Crime drama. Mac and Stella are called to a crime scene for a truck jacking. 12.00am The Shield 1.20 NBA Basketball 4.00 NHRA Drag Racing 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home & Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 6.30 Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 10.00 Extra Time 10.30 LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 2.30pm LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 6.30 Football Asia 7.00 Revista De La Liga 8.00 LIVE Boxing: Prizefighter 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00am NFL: Total Access 1.00 LIVE Boxing: Prizefighter 4.00 Revista De La Liga 5.00 Football Asia

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jimmy decides he has to win Nicola back. Er, why? 8.00 A Place In The Wild Second of a two-part documentary following the gruelling journey of two young Englishmen battling to conserve and save wild animals on Ol Pejeta, one of Kenya’s newest wildlife reserves. 9.00 Holiday Showdown See highlights. 10.00 News At Ten and weather 10.30 Party Election Broadcast By The Liberal Democrats 10.35 The Classical BRIT Awards 2009 Myleene Klass presents the classical music event of the year direct from the Royal Albert Hall, in the presence of HRH the Duchess of Cornwall. There is a glittering line-up of stars for the prizes as well as spectacular live performances from Jose Carreras and Placido Domingo, Katherine Jenkins, Lang Lang, The Priests and young Britain’s Got Talent 2008 finalist Faryl Smith. But who wins the shinies?! 11.50 Guinness Premiership Rugby Craig Doyle presents highlights of the Guinness Premiership Final at Twickenham. 12.40am Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Emergency 1.30 Supernatural 2.20 Loose Women 3.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Golf 9.00 Speedway 11.00 Poker 1.00pm Speedway 3.00 Poker 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 Ocean Adventures 6.30 360 Series 7.00 Mountain Bike World 7.30 LIVE Greyhound Racing 10.00 Poker 11.30 Mountain Bike World 12.00am Pool: World Cup Of Pool 1.00 Poker 2.30 Ladies European Tour Golf 3.30 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 4.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 7.00am Fishing: Thinking Tackle 8.00 Motor Sport: Killarney Historic Stages Rally 9.00 Bowls 10.00 Bowls 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm H2O Sports International 12.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 Extra Time 2.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 3.00 Bowls 4.00 Bowls 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Formula 3 Euroseries 8.00 Ladies European Tour Golf 9.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Ladies European Tour Golf 12.00am Bowls 1.00 Bowls 2.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

12.00pm Project Runway 1.00 Tabatha’s Salon Takeover 2.00 Tru Calling 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle 4.30 It’s Me Or The Dog USA 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Ballroom High 10.00 Prison Break (x2) 12.00am Inside: Alaska’s Toughest Prison

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 The Real Hustle Las Vegas 8.00 Make My Body Younger 9.00 Blood, Sweat And Takeaways 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Bizarre ER 11.00 Family Guy 11.25 Family Guy 11.45 Make My Body Younger 12.45am Blood, Sweat And Takeaways 1.40 Bizarre ER 2.10 Drinking With The Girls

7.00pm News 7.30 Landscape Mysteries 8.00 Inside The Medieval Mind 9.00 The Great British Wedding 10.00 We Need Answers. See highlights. 10.30 Flight Of The Conchords 11.00 The Armstrong And Miller Show 11.30 Make ‘em Laugh 12.25am The Great British Wedding

1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.10 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Britain’s Got More Talent 8.00 Katie & Peter: Stateside 9.00 FILM: The Bourne Supremacy (2004) 11.10 FILM: I Know Who Killed Me (2007) 1.20am Ladette To Lady

11.15am Surgical Spirit (x2) 12.25pm Carry On Laughing 12.55 Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.05 Hornblower 5.15 Carry On Laughing 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Ballykissangel 8.00 Doc Martin 9.00 Kingdom 10.00 Wire In The Blood Justice Painted Blind 12.10am Wycliffe 1.10 Hornblower

1.45pm Smallville 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Smallville. 10.00 FILM: Bedazzled (2000) 11.50 Rude Tube (x2) 12.50am Scrubs (x2) 1.50 My Name Is Earl 2.15 Ugly Betty

3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Abroad 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 True Stories 11.25 Come Dine With Me 12.30am True Stories

11.00am The Jerry Springer Show (x2) 12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Passport Patrol 2.30 RSPCA Animal Rescue 3.00 Private Practice 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model (x2) 8.00 Paul McKenna: I Can Make You Thin 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Eleventh Hour 11.00 CSI (x2) 1.00am Charmed

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.30pm Unsolved Murders 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How It’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch (x2) 10.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting

12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Psych 2.00 Eli Stone 3.00 FILM: Riddles Of The Sphinx (2008) 5.00 Star Trek 6.00 Psych 7.00 Eli Stone 8.00 Knight Rider 9.00 Dollhouse 10.00 FILM: Merlin And The Book Of Beasts (2009) 11.50 FILM: The Snake King (2005) 2.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 3.00 Star Trek

12.50pm Road To Zanzibar (1941) 2.25 Hitchcock Special 2.55 Park Row (1952) 4.25 Duel In The Sun (1946) 6.35 Anne Of The Thousand Days (1969) 9.00 Love Story (1970) 10.45 The Boston Strangler (1968) 12.45am The Miracle Of Morgan’s Creek (1944)

9.00am Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993) 11.00 Tube Tales (1999) 12.40pm The Commitments (1991) 2.40 For Your Consideration (2006) 4.10 Tumbleweeds (1999) 6.00 Mumford (1999) 8.00 Breaking And Entering (2006) 10.00 Magnolia (1999) 1.15am The Commitments (1991)

1.00pm You Were Never Lovelier (1942) 2.55 Tokyo Joe (1949) 4.45 Bless This House (1972) 6.40 S1m0ne (2002) 9.00 The Devil Wears Prada (2006) 11.10 Monster (2003) This won Charlize Theron an Oscar for her portrayal of real-life serial killer Patty Jenkins. 1.15am Undercover Man (1949)

7.50am None But The Brave (1965) 9.50 Grand Prix (1966) 1.00pm Dark Victory (1939) 3.00 Sweet November (1968) 5.10 The Naked Hills (1956) 6.35 The Champ (1979) 9.00 Absolute Power (1997) 11.20 Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil (1997) 2.20am Absolute Power (1997)

4.20pm My Family 5.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 5.40 As Time Goes By 6.20 One Foot In The Grave 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 8.20 Only Fools And Horses 9.00 Fawlty Towers (x4) 11.55 Men Behaving Badly 12.35am French And Saunders 1.10 Bread 1.50 Men Behaving Badly

3.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 4.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men(x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Scrubs 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.30 South Park (x2) 12.30am Scrubs

Classics

Indie

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wednesday 20 Embarrassing Bodies Channel 4, 8pm Dr Christian Jessen and Pixie McKenna help out the gentlemen this week, with man boobs and erectile dysfunction. Thank the men involved for stepping forward so that everyone else gets an answer without having to go on telly. And the mobile clinic heads off to Newcastle. Insert your own stereotype here.

Extraordinary People: Electric Human Five, 9pm The series looking at out-of-the-ordinary folk around the world links Puerto Rico to Brighton. Yup, you read right. Jose can withstand high voltages and power light bulbs, whereas a Brighton lady reports that her body affects electrical appliances. Shocking. Soz.

Gossip Girl ITV2, 9pm This has gradually become a guilty pleasure, with the decadence of New York’s young and beautiful stabbing each other in the back with their perfectly manicured hands clutching diamond-encrusted daggers. A new unsuspecting teacher gives Blair her first ever ‘B’. You don’t want to make her angry.

terrestrial BBC1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 The Unsellables 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.30pm Chelsea Flower Show 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Moving On 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Big And Small 3.15 Grandpa In My Pocket 3.25 Tronji 3.50 Funky Fables 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Paradise Café 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 MyWish 5.05 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Chelsea Flower Show A look at some of the world’s most threatened plants. 8.00 Waterloo Road It is the last day of term, and everyone is excited about the final of the choir competition. However, Rachel has got professional and personal battles to contend with first. Sounds gnarly. 9.00 The Apprentice With just seven candidates remaining, Sir Alan sends the teams to London’s Olympia, to sell baby products at the country’s biggest baby show. Success depends on choosing the right products. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Party Election Broadcast For The English Local Elections By The Conservative Party 10.40 The National Lottery Draws Hopes and dreams and bits of paper. 10.50 The Street After being left by his wife and suffering from worsening back problems, postman Wayne Taylor turns to stealing from his wealthier customers. 11.50 FILM: Nina’s Heavenly Delights (2006) Comedy. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: The Incredible Human Journey 2.25 Professor Regan’s... 3.25 Grow Your Own Drugs 3.55 Real Rescues 4.40 BBC News

sport

BBC2

6.00 – 9.30am Children’s television 9.30 Boogie Beebies 9.45 Get Squiggling 10.00 Nina And The Neurons 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Wildlife On Two 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Lifeline 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 5.55 Party Election Broadcast For The European Parliament By The Socialist Labour Party 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Menu The country’s top chefs compete to cook a homecoming dinner for the forces returning from Afghanistan. 7.00 Keep It In The Family Brothers Dominic and Nick Chapman return to their childhood home in Taunton to see if they are willing to take over the reins from their parents and save the family-owned hotel. 8.00 Chelsea Flower Show A feast for the senses is on offer as Chelsea celebrates the appeal of plants to all five senses. 9.00 Why Poetry Matters Griff Rhys Jones launches the BBC’s poetry season with a plea for poetry, exploring how verse has the power to enlighten, entertain, stimulate and seduce. Ooh-saucy. 10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Companion discussion show to the Apprentice, with Adrian Chiles. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Party Election Broadcast For The English Local Elections By The Conservative Party 11.25 The Wire McNulty goes undercover at a brothel and is outnumbered. Whose bright idea was it to send him to his Mecca anyway? 12.20am BBC News 3.00 PSHE: Lifeschool

ITV1

Channel 4

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Andy’s abusive relationship with Jo comes back to haunt him. We knew it would. 7.30 Coronation Street A devastated Eileen contemplates her loss. If it’s not one thing... 8.00 Midsomer Murders When old rock band Hired Gun re-form to play a gig at the Midsomer Rocks Festival, paranoid lead singer Gary Cooper is convinced that someone is trying to scare them off and stop the reunion. Somebody was a having a fun day when they came up with this one. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.30 Party Election Broadcast By The Conservative Party 10.35 Benidorm When Madge accuses Sylvia of messing with her man, a slanging match between them gets out of hand, culminating in a Western-style shoot-out with a difference. 11.05 FILM: The Shadow (1994) Starring Alec Baldwin, John Lone, Penelope Miller, Peter Boyle. Action adventure set in 1930s New York about a reformed criminal who becomes a superhero. 12.55am Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Emergency 1.50 Loose Women 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.35 Pay Drop Britain: Tonight 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ste refuses to open the door when Mike and Sarah come to collect Lucas. Eedjit. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Embarrassing Bodies See highlights. 9.00 Grand Designs In order to downsize from their Edwardian manor house, Peter and Christine Benjamin have decided to build a small retirement home within their walled garden. Their new house straddles the wall and, on one side, looks like a traditional potting shed, while on the other it is a 21st-century floating glass pavilion. Want it. 10.00 Desperate Housewives US drama series. Susan and Jackson maintain a pretense for the authorities and Bree takes extreme measures to bamboozle Orson. Shouldn’t be hard. 11.05 Wife Swap USA A vain mother from Florida who spends hours on her appearance trades places with an Arizonan mum whose family are fascinated by morbidity. 12.05am 4 Music: Gaymers Grassroots Gigs: Young Knives 12.20 Gaymers Grassroots Gigs: The Mystery Jets 12.35 Bestival 2008 1.35 Around The World In 80 Trades 2.35 Empires Of Stone 3.35 Extinct 4.05 Time Team 5.00 Countdown 5.45 Making It 5.50 The Hoobs

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Chiro 9.00 Hana’s Helpline 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Colin And Justin’s How Not To Decorate 12.45pm Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: The Reading Room (2005) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Martha is devastated her husband’s killer has returned. As most would be. 6.30 Animal Rescue Squad Michaela Strachan and Matt Baker present a wildlife series following the urgent work going on to save and protect animals in the UK and abroad. 6.55 PEB: The Liberal Democrat Party 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. 8.00 Oil Riggers Viking’s third well is put in jeopardy when poisonous water spews out of the ground. 9.00 Extraordinary People: Electric Human See highlights. 10.00 Simon Cowell: Where Did It All Go Right? Exploring the amazing success of Simon Cowell, the multimillionaire producer who has changed the face of TV around the world. In case you didn’t know. 11.05 Michael Jackson Not For Sale One-off documentary exploring the extraordinary history of controversial pop legend Michael Jackson in light of the recent cancellation of a huge auction of his possessions. 12.05am PartyPoker.com European Open V 1.40 NHRA Drag Racing 3.10 NHL Ice Hockey 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 6.30 Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Revista De La Liga 10.00 Football Asia 10.30 LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 2.00pm LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 LIVE Speedway 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 European Tour Weekly 12.00am Speedway 2.30 Boots ‘n’ All 3.30 Poker 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Total Rugby

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Boxing: Prizefighter 11.00 Poker 12.30pm Mountain Bike World 1.00 Revista De La Liga 2.00 Boxing: Prizefighter 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 LIVE Winning Post 9.00 Rallyzone 9.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 NFL: Total Access 12.00am Total Rugby 12.30 Trans World Sport 1.30 British Motocross Championship 2.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Formula 3 Euroseries 7.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 8.00 Golf: PGA EuroPro Tour 10.00 Ladies European Tour Golf 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 2.00 Golf: PGA EuroPro Tour 4.00 Revista De La Liga 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Total Rugby 7.30 European Tour Weekly 8.00 Golf: PGA EuroPro Tour 10.00 European Tour Weekly 10.30 Total Rugby 11.00 British Motocross Championship 12.00am Golf: Euro Pro Tour 2.00 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

2.00pm Tru Calling 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle 4.30 It’s Me Or The Dog USA 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Celebrity Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 9.00 UK Border Force 10.00 FILM: Predator (1987) 12.05am Ross Kemp: Return To Afghanistan 1.05 Fringe

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Make My Body Younger 9.00 FILM: Serendipity (2001) 10.25 Family Guy (x2) 11.10 Bizarre ER 11.40 Make My Body Younger 12.40am Pulling Special 1.40 Snog Marry Avoid? 2.10 Kirsten’s Topless Ambition 3.10 Bizarre ER

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Wainwright Walks: Coast To Coast 8.00 Victorian Farm 9.00 Feasts 10.00 The Great British Wedding 11.00 A Year In Tibet 12.00am Storyville: Every Good Marriage Begins With Tears 1.00 The Great British Wedding 2.00 Batman 2.25 Batman 2.50 Mad Men 3.35 Mad Men

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.10 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Britain’s Got More Talent 8.00 The Chopping Block 9.00 Gossip Girl. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: American Pie (1999) 11.55 Coronation Street 12.25am Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show (x2)

11.15am Surgical Spirit (x2) 12.25pm Carry On Laughing 12.55 Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.05 Hornblower 5.15 Carry On Laughing 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Ballykissangel 8.00 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Trial And Retribution 3 12.10am Hornblower 2.05 Quincy, ME 2.55 Surgical Spirit (x2)

12.50pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.35 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Independence Day (1996) 11.45 Ricky Gervais: Fame 12.50am Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Kevin Hill 2.35 Roswell

3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Abroad 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Never Did Me Any Harm 10.00 Born To Be Different 11.05 Dispatches 12.05am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares

11.00am The Jerry Springer Show (x2) 12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Passport Patrol 2.30 RSPCA Animal Rescue 3.00 Private Practice 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Grey’s Anatomy 8.00 Paul McKenna: I Can Make You Thin 9.00 Eleventh Hour 10.00 CSI (x3) 1.00am Charmed

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.30pm Unsolved Murders 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How It’s Made 8.00 Deadliest Catch 9.00 Churchill’s Girl 10.00 Nefertiti 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting

11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Psych 2.00 Eli Stone 3.00 FILM: War Wolves (2009) 5.00 Star Trek 6.00 Psych 7.00 Eli Stone 8.00 FILM: The Great Los Angeles Earthquake (1990) 10.00 FILM: Derailed (2002) 11.40 FILM: Mansquito (2005) 1.30am Ghost Stories

9.50am The Nutty Professor (1963) 11.45 Apache (1954) 1.25pm The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 3.25 Holiday Inn (1942) 5.15 The Movie Geek 5.45 Flaming Star (1960) 7.25 Apache (1954) 9.00 The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 10.55 Experiment In Terror (1962) 1.05am The Nutty Professor (1963)

9.00am Mulholland Drive (2001) 11.30 Rescue Dawn (2006) 1.40pm Nelly And Monsieur Arnaud (1995) 3.30 The Movie Geek 4.00 Mulholland Drive (2001) 6.30 Factory Girl (2006) 8.15 Be Kind Rewind (2008) 10.00 Rescue Dawn (2006) 12.10am Quadrophenia (1979)

1.00pm Affair In Trinidad (1952) 2.55 You’ll Never Get Rich (1941) 4.45 Mr Smith Goes To Washington (1939) 7.15 Airplane! (1980) The original punladen spoof movie, sending up the disaster films of the 70s. 9.00 Gosford Park (2001) 11.40 Get Over It (2001) 1.20am Track 29 (1988)

8.25am Any Wednesday (1966) 10.45 The Password Is Courage (1962) 1.00pm A Day At The Races (1937) 3.00 Cash McCall (1959) 4.55 The Hill (1965) 7.25 Westworld (1973) 9.00 Bonfire Of The Vanities (1990) 11.30 Shaft (1971) 1.30am Stealing Home (1988) 3.10 Wait Until Dark (1967)

4.20pm My Family 5.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 5.40 As Time Goes By 6.20 One Foot In The Grave 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 8.20 Only Fools And Horses 9.00 Fawlty Towers 9.40 Fawlty Towers 10.25 Fawlty Towers Exclusive: Basil’s Best Bits 12.30am French And Saunders

4.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 The Office: An American Workplace 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.35 South Park (x2) 12.35am Sarah Silverman

Classics

Indie

037_LS424_TV_thu

5/13/09

4:43 PM

Page 1

thursday 21 The Home Show Channel 4, 8pm Architect George Clarke has a plan. To help people fall in love with their old homes using a budget supplied by the homeowners and his own conviction that they’ll LOVE his ideas. A veritable Gok Wan for the home. This week a touch of structural damage bites into his budget. It’ll look FAB though.

Keep It In The Family BBC2, 9pm 28-year-old Sarah manages a deli in Glasgow’s trendy West End, but now her family’s 400 acre dairy farm in Kent needs her attention. Bit different really. Never one to be scuppered she takes the crash course in milking, feeding and animal husbandry to see if she’s cut out to continue the family business.

The Inbetweeners E4, 10pm Both nostalgic and realistic, this comedy series about four teenage boys hits just the right chord. Like when Will, Simon, Jay and Neil bunk off school, dress Will up as a ‘grown up’ and then head to Neil’s house to get plastered. You know revelations and mental torture from your peers won’t be far off.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00 – 9.30am Children’s television 9.30 Boogie Beebies 9.45 Get Squiggling 10.00 Nina And The Neurons 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 The Maths Channel 11.10 Telling Tales 11.15 Telling Tales 11.20 Primary Geography 11.30 Primary Geography 11.45 The Installation Of The Archbishop Of Westminster 1.45pm Animal Park 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Menu The country’s top chefs compete to cook a homecoming dinner for the forces returning from Afghanistan. 7.00 The Apprentice Reality series. Another chance to catch yesterday’s episode. 8.00 Chelsea Flower Show Alan Titchmarsh and Joe Swift examine the latest gardening trends to emerge from the Chelsea Flower Show. 9.00 Keep It In The Family See highlights. 10.00 The Graham Norton Show Joining Graham for his usual mix of chat, stunts and mayhem are glamorous international film star Isabella Rossellini and American actress turned rock star Juliette Lewis. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Gavin Esler. Someone’s got to understand it all. 11.20 Party Election Broadcast For The English Local Elections By The Labour Party 11.25 Golf: PGA Championship Highlights Gary Lineker presents highlights of the opening round of the PGA Championship at Wentworth. 12.25am The Apprentice: You’re Fired 1.05 BBC News 3.00 Turning Points

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Parents & Teens: Welcome To My World 10.00 My Crazy Media Life 10.30 How To Dump Your Mates 11.00 The KNTV Show 11.30 Battlefront 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Life Begins Again 1.35 FILM: The Wonderful Country (1959) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Pocoyo 8.45 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Chiro 9.00 Hana’s Helpline 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Colin And Justin’s How Not To Decorate 12.45pm Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.05 FILM: Columbo: Murder In Malibu (1990) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Mark is unnerved when Cain makes it clear that he knows Mark has something to hide. Isn’t ‘something to hide’ the purest definition of a soap character? 7.30 Countrywise Paul Heiney and an all-new team begin a summer journey across Britain. 8.00 The Bill After being kidnapped at gunpoint, Millie and Jade are being held by brothers Si and Mick Jones. Not being ‘held’ in a friendly way either. 9.00 Taggart Murder strikes close to home when DCI Matt Burke’s elderly father is found dead in suspicious circumstances. What appears to be a straightforward case of liver failure takes a sinister turn when it is discovered that Andrew Burke died of a heroin overdose. Hardly the hot cocoa habit dads are known for. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.30 Party Election Broadcast By The Labour Party 10.35 Cops With Cameras Britain’s police record their daily battle on the front line of crime. 11.35 The Last Word A look at some of the big stories in the region with MPs and other prominent figures. 12.05am Motorsport UK 12.55 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.45 Crossing Jordan 2.35 Loose Women 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Tony’s plan to help Dominic woo Loretta backfires, leaving Dominic’s dreams in tatters. Didn’t this ‘bad advice’ thang happen with Dom’s ex-missus too? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 The Home Show See highlights. 9.00 Emergency In The Womb The story of unborn twin brothers, Conner and Cody Bambrough, who have a rare and perilous condition that threatens both their lives before they have even left the womb. 10.00 Extreme Male Beauty Journalist Tim Shaw feels the pressure to get rid of his man boobs, hairy back and beer belly while gaining the perfect six-pack. Don’t do it, man! Love the flab you’re in! Unless it’s unhealthy of course. 11.05 Man Hunters: My Turkish Toyboys Documentary following two middle-aged British women seeking romance with younger men in the holiday resorts of Turkey. 12.05am 4 Music: 4Music Sessions: The Veronicas 12.20 Gaymers Grassroots Gigs 12.35 Dubplate 1.05 Around The World In 80 Trades 2.05 El Caminante 2.10 Dispatches 3.10 Unreported World 3.40 3 Minute Wonder 3.45 Extinct 4.15 Time Team 5.05 Countdown 5.50 The Hoobs

6.00 Home And Away Hugo fabricates a shark-attack story. Why? 6.30 Animal Rescue Squad Michaela Strachan and Matt Baker present a wildlife series following the urgent work going on to save and protect animals in the UK and abroad. 6.55 PEB: The Scottish National Party 7.00 Five News At 7 7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights of the three-match NatWest One-Day International Series. 8.00 I Own Britain’s Best Home 2009 The presenters have explored some of the country’s most desirable properties and viewers have voted. Which property will win the coveted title of Britain’s Best Home? 9.00 The Mentalist Drama series. The agents are on the trail of an arsonist who deliberately killed a man in a rural community. As the investigation progresses, the stakes are raised when the agents realise they are hunting a serial firebug. 10.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series. When a prison inmate is found dead in his cell, the police come under suspicion. 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series. A worldrenowned physicist decides murder is better than admitting he’s wrong. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 NBA Basketball 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 6.30 Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 Boots ‘n’ All 10.30 LIVE International Cricket 2.00pm LIVE International Cricket 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 International Cricket 1.30am Time Of Our Lives 2.30 Barclays Premier League World 3.00 International Cricket 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Phil discovers Billy’s secret and wreaks his own revenge on Nick. ‘Bout time someone did. 8.00 Playing The Part Actress Denise Welch returns to her home town of Consett, County Durham to spend a week playing the part of a teacher in a real school. How will she deal with the day-to-day life of a teacher as she plans lessons, marks exercise books, and deals with disruptive children and inspections? Perhaps real is more difficult than pretend. Ya think?! 9.00 Traffic Cops Documentary series following the traffic police as they enforce the law on some of Britain’s busiest and most dangerous roads. The cops are called to an extraordinary hit-and-run incident in Cardiff. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Party Election Broadcast For The English Local Elections By The Labour Party 10.40 Question Time The topical debate comes from Salisbury. 11.40 This Week A political review of the week. 12.25am Holiday Weatherview 12.30 Sign Zone: Panorama 1.00 Watchdog 1.30 Countryfile 2.25 Real Rescues 3.10 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Trans World Sport 9.00 Ocean Adventures 9.30 European Tour Weekly 10.00 LIVE Euro Tour Golf 1.00pm Total Rugby 1.30 Rallyzone 2.00 Boots ‘n’ All 3.00 LIVE Euro Tour Golf 6.00 LIVE Golf Night 8.00 Golf Night 10.30 Total Rugby 12.00am NFL: Total Access 1.00 Barclays Premier League World 1.30 Golf Night 3.30 Golf Night

Sky Sports 3 7.00am British Motocross Championship 8.00 Rallyzone 8.30 Speedway 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Ocean Adventures 1.30 Speedway 4.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 5.00 NFL: Total Access 6.00 The Rugby Club 7.30 LIVE National Rugby League 9.30 WWE Late Night Raw 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am The Rugby Club 2.00 National Rugby League 4.00 The Rugby Club 5.30 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

12.00pm Project Runway 1.00 Shear Genius 2.00 Tru Calling 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle 4.30 It’s Me Or The Dog USA 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 The Real A & E 9.00 Bones 10.00 Lie To Me 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Bones 1.00 Road Wars 1.50 Inside...

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Blood, Sweat And Takeaways 9.00 My Weapon Is A Dog 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Real Hustle On Holiday 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Ideal 12.15am My Weapon Is A Dog 1.15 The Real Hustle On Holiday 1.45 Blood, Sweat And Takeaways

7.00pm World News Today 7.40 The New Avengers 8.30 Poetry Please: Thirty Years Of The People’s Poetry 9.00 Ian Hislop’s Changing Of The Bard 10.00 A Poet’s Guide To Britain 10.30 Feasts 11.30 Mark Lawson Talks To Ian Hislop 12.30am Ian Hislop’s Changing Of The Bard 1.30 Poetry Please

1.00pm Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.25 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.10 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Britain’s Got More Talent 8.00 American Idol 9.00 Katie & Peter: Stateside 10.00 The Justin Lee Collins Show 11.00 Supernatural 12.00am American Idol

11.20am Surgical Spirit 11.55 Carry On Laughing 12.25pm Heartbeat 1.30 Ballykissangel 2.35 Hornblower 4.40 Monarch Of The Glen 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Ballykissangel 8.00 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Beyond A Joke 10.00 Prime Suspect 12.15am Numb3rs 1.10 Hornblower 2.45 Quincy, ME

3.30pm Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 My Name Is Earl 9.30 The Big Bang Theory 10.00 The Inbetweeners. See highlights. 10.30 Beehive 11.00 Reno 911 (x2) 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 12.55 My Name Is Earl

2.00pm Come Dine With Me 2.30 The Coach Trip 3.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 ER 10.00 Brothers And Sisters 11.00 Without A Trace 12.00am ER

12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Passport Patrol 2.30 RSPCA Animal Rescue 3.00 Private Practice 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 Paul McKenna: I Can Make You Thin 9.00 CSI 10.00 Grey’s Anatomy 11.00 Trophy Wives 12.00am CSI

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.30pm Unsolved Murders 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How It’s Made 8.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 9.00 American Loggers 10.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2)

11.00am 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 12.00pm Star Trek 1.00 Psych 2.00 Eli Stone 3.00 FILM: Nuclear Hurricane (2007) 5.00 Star Trek 6.00 Psych 7.00 Eli Stone 8.00 FILM: Merlin And The Book Of Beasts (2009) 10.00 Dollhouse 11.00 Knight Rider 12.00am FILM: War Wolves (2009)

12.15pm Kiss Of The Vampire (1963) 1.55 Steptoe And Son (1972) 3.35 The Lost Weekend (1945) 5.20 The Bridges At Toko-Ri (1954) 7.05 Sabrina (1954) 9.00 Steptoe And Son (1972) 10.40 Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 12.25am Kiss Of The Vampire (1963)

9.00am There Will Be Blood (2007) 11.40 The Tango Lesson (1997) 1.25pm Year Of The Dog (2007) 3.10 4 Months, 3 Weeks And 2 Days (2007) 5.10 Sicko (2007) 7.20 There Will Be Blood (2007) 10.00 Fargo (1996) 11.45 Goodbye Bafana (2007) 1.50am Hana-Bi (1997)

1.00pm Tonight And Every Night (1944) 2.50 The Loves Of Carmen (1948) 4.40 Bullwhip (1958) 6.20 Phantom Of The Opera (2004) 9.00 Under Siege (1992) Stephen Segal stars in this naval boat under fire action buster. He’s only the cook! 11.00 Garden State (2004) 12.55am The Death Of Mr Lazarescu (2005)

9.20am Murder At The Gallop (1963) 10.50 Mogambo (1953) 1.00pm The Gumball Rally (1976) 3.00 Travels With My Aunt (1972) 5.05 Meet Me In St Louis (1944) 7.10 Code Name: Emerald (1985) 9.00 Tin Cup (1996) 11.50 Caddyshack (1980) 1.45am Steelyard Blues (1973) 3.20 City Heat (1984)

4.20pm My Family 5.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 5.40 As Time Goes By 6.20 One Foot In The Grave 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 8.20 Only Fools And Horses 9.00 Fawlty Towers Exclusive: Basil’s Best Bits 11.00 Men Behaving Badly 11.40 French And Saunders 12.20am Bread

3.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 4.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Scrubs 10.35 Sex And The City (x2) 11.35 South Park (x2) 12.35am Scrubs

Classics

Indie

038_LS424_TV_fri

5/14/09

2:24 PM

Page 1

friday 22 Boy Meets Girl ITV1, 9pm It’s the final part of the body swap comedy, so hopefully this means they’ll get everything sorted by the end of the programme, leaving them happier and wiser. Maybe. In the meantime, Danny has to choose between the woman he loves and the man who wants to marry Veronica. It’s a toughie.

NCIS Five, 9pm The federal agency investigating Navy mishaps has trouble at home when Ziva’s past comes to call. She witnesses an assassination by her former Mossad partner, and convinced her father ordered the hit, seeks refuge at the Israeli Embassy, only to find she is wanted by the FBI. Time for the gang to help out.

Pulling Special BBC3, 10.35pm After two successful series here comes the finale in a one-off special, and the hilarious barbs keep on coming. The scene is set with Louise moving in with the love of her life, Donna hooking up with a rich man with no personality and, most surprisingly, Karen’s devoted to a chauvinist. And then stuff starts.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00 – 9.10am Children’s television 9.10 Something Special – Out And About 9.30 Boogie Beebies 9.45 Get Squiggling 10.00 Nina And The Neurons 10.15 Charlie And Lola 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Wipe Out 11.30 Science Clips Investigates 11.40 Look And Read 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Castle In The Country 1.30 Animal 24:7 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Great British Menu The country’s top chefs compete to cook a homecoming dinner for the forces returning from Afghanistan. 7.00 Britain’s Best Drives Actor Richard Wilson struggles to get to grips with a retro VW camper van as he drives the coast road from St Ives to Lands End. 7.30 Mastermind The subjects are the Bonaparte dynasty, Herbert Asquith, Slade, and the life and writings of Gilbert White. 8.00 Chelsea Flower Show As the 2009 flower show nears its end Alan Titchmarsh and Joe Swift celebrate the diverse exhibitors and designers. 9.00 Off By Heart Off By Heart follows primary school children from across the country as they take part in a national poetry recitation competition – the first of its kind. More than 1,500 schools signed up to take part, and the film follows 12 finalists who progress from regional heats to a grand final. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review Round table arts and culture discussion programme, with Kirsty Wark. 11.45 Golf: PGA Championship Highlights Highlights from the second round of the PGA Championship. 12.45am Medium 1.30 The Wire (x3)

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Parents & Teens: Welcome To My World 10.00 Batty Man 10.55 Mum’s Gone Gay 11.30 Battlefront 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Flatpack Stories 12.35 The City Gardener 1.05 FILM: The Way West (1967) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Pocoyo 8.45 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Chiro 9.00 Hana’s Helpline 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Colin And Justin’s How Not To Decorate 12.45pm Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.10 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Sacrifices Of The Heart (2007) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The election takes its toll on Eric’s health. Oh dear. 7.30 Coronation Street Betrayed, Chesney catches Fiz out. Julie accuses Paula of murder. That’s a bigger catch out if she manages it. 8.00 The Property Waiting Game: Tonight After two years of a stagnant property market and predictions that the price slump is now behind us, is it time to end the waiting and start buying again? Jonathan Maitland investigates whether the predictions have any truth in them. 8.30 Coronation Street Eileen surprises everyone at Colin’s farewell. Michelle has disappointing news for her admirers. 9.00 Boy Meets Girl See highlights. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Unforgiven (1992) Starring Clint Eastwood, Gene Hackman, Morgan Freeman, Richard Harris, Frances Fisher. Uncompromising Oscar-winning western. Long after he has settled into a peaceful life as a farmer with his two children, reformed gunslinger William Munny is coaxed out of retirement by a young gun. 1.00am Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Mystery 1.50 FILM: Aces High (1977) 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks As half term approaches, Newt, Theresa, Lauren and Anita bury the hatchet and the gang are delighted to be reunited. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away Bristol-based Jenny Bradley has sold her house and she’s ready to move into her next home – but must choose between Cornwall and France. A region or a country? Hmm. 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA Gordon Ramsay is let loose on The Secret Garden, a French restaurant in California serving pompous, over-complicated cuisine. Don’t pull yer punches. 10.00 FILM: Shaft (2000) Starring Samuel L Jackson, Vanessa Williams, Jeffrey Wright. Remake of the 1970s blaxploitation detective drama. John Shaft, the namesake nephew of the original private eye, is a dedicated cop assigned to a racially motivated murder when a rich kid kills a man and arranges an innocent verdict. 12.00am 4 Music: Shockwaves Album Chart Show: The Enemy Special 12.30 The JD Set Presents: General Fiasco 12.45 No Angels 1.45 What About Brian 2.30 Veronique 2.35 Empires Of Stone 3.35 Time Team 4.25 Countdown 5.10 Superbike World Championship 2009 5.50 The Hoobs

6.00 Home And Away Roman takes the first step in dealing with his trauma. Belle returns to the bay. 6.30 Animal Rescue Squad Winter the dolphin lost her tail in an accident with a fishing boat. Now this little mammal is making medical history by trying out a new orthopaedic prosthetic tail. Cool. 6.55 PEB: Plaid Cymru 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Top Trumps: Super Yachts Robert Llewellyn and Ashley Hames test their knowledge of extreme machines. 8.00 Police Interceptors Documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex. 9.00 NCIS See highlights. 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series that looks inside the minds of criminals. Goren and Eames investigate the murder of the daughter of a former ambassador. The Ferrero Rocher dunnit. 11.00 Numb3rs Detective drama series about a maths genius recruited by the FBI. Don is gravely injured when an investigation into a series of burglaries goes badly wrong. As he fights for his life in hospital, the team desperately searches for his attacker, the mysterious ‘fifth man’. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 The Gadget Show 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 6.30 Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ocean Adventures 9.30 Barclays Premier League World 10.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm Barclays Premier League World 1.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 2.00 Trans World Sport 3.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 6.00 Gillette World Sport 6.30 Off The Bar 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE Super League 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am European Rugby: Challenge Cup 1.30 Lions 1974: Invincibles 2.30 Friday Fight Night 4.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 5.00 Off The Bar 5.30 Volvo Ocean Race

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Chelsea Flower Show A growing passion for gardening is on the menu as Alan Titchmarsh and Joe Swift learn how plants have been instrumental in changing the careers of several exhibitors. 8.00 EastEnders Billy finally comes clean to a devastated Jay, while Phil calls time on his drinking. 8.30 Total Wipeout Fast Forward Another chance to follow the trials and tribulations of the first series. 9.00 Have I Got News For You The popular news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop. 9.30 Reggie Perrin Sitcom. Chris seeks Reggie’s help as he struggles to convince the Groomtech board that he is the right man for the job. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Wossy welcomes West Wing hero Martin Sheen. Also Yvette Fielding, iconic diva Grace Jones and EastEnders heart-throb Scott Maslen. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw Loadsa dosh. 11.40 FILM: Just Friends (2005) Starring Ryan Reynolds, Amy Smart, Anna Faris. Romantic comedy. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Horizon: How Violent Are You? 2.15 Real Rescues 3.00 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 International Cricket 9.00 National Rugby League 11.00 The Rugby Club 12.30pm Super 14 Rugby 2.30 National Rugby League 4.30 Barclays Premier League World 5.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 5.30 Super 14 Rugby 7.30 LIVE European Rugby: Challenge Cup 10.00 Lions 1974: Invincibles 12.00am Barclays Premier League Preview 12.30 Off The Bar 1.00 Super League 3.00 NFL: Total Access 4.00 Super League

Sky Sports 3 6.30am WWE Raw 8.30 LIVE Super 14 Rugby 10.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm FIA GT Highlights 1.00 Race World 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 The Rugby Club 4.00 WWE Raw 6.00 LIVE Golf Night: 8.00 Golf Night 10.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.30am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 2.00 Off The Bar 2.30 Super 14 Rugby 4.30 European Rugby: Challenge Cup

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

1.00pm Shear Genius 2.00 Tru Calling 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle 4.30 It’s Me Or The Dog USA 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 FILM: Predator (1987) 12.05am Prison Break (x2) 2.05 Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Doctor Who 9.00 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 10.00 EastEnders 10.35 Pulling Special. See highlights. 11.35 Family Guy (x2) 12.20am Coming Of Age 12.50 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.50 Ideal 2.20 Pulling Special 3.20 Bizarre ER 3.50 Coming Of Age

7.00pm News 7.30 Acis And Galatea From The Royal Opera House 9.15 The Night James Brown Saved Boston 10.30 BBC Four Sessions 11.30 Flight Of The Conchords: On Air 11.55 Flight Of The Conchords 12.20am The New Avengers 1.15 The Night James Brown Saved Boston 2.25 BBC Four Sessions

12.00pm Emmerdale 12.30 Holiday Showdown 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.30 Judge Judy 6.00 Britain’s Got More Talent 7.00 Britain’s Got Talent 8.00 Britain’s Got More Talent 9.00 American Idol 11.00 Katie & Peter: Stateside 12.00am Coronation Street (x2)

10.10am Kojak 11.15 Surgical Spirit (x2) 12.25pm Carry On Laughing 12.55 Heartbeat 2.00 Ballykissangel 3.05 Hornblower 5.15 Carry On Laughing 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Ballykissangel 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Prime Suspect 11.15 FILM: Reversal Of Fortune (1990) 1.25am Hornblower

12.50pm Scrubs (x2) 1.50 Smallville 2.40 One Tree Hill 3.35 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix 10.00 Wife Swap 11.05 Alan Carr’s Celebrity Ding Dong 11.55 Scrubs (x2) 12.55am My Name Is Earl

3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation Updates 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 FILM: Vanilla Sky (2001) 11.40 Death Of A Porn Star 12.45am FILM: Vanilla Sky (2001)

12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Passport Patrol 2.30 RSPCA Animal Rescue 3.00 Private Practice 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 Paul McKenna: I Can Make You Thin 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI (x2) 1.00am Charmed

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

2.30pm Unsolved Murders 3.00 Deadliest Catch 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 6.00 American Chopper 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How It’s Made 8.00 Mythbusters 9.00 Treasure Quest 10.00 SAS: Special Forces Heroes 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00am A Haunting

1.00pm FILM: Nature Unleashed: Volcano (2004) 2.50 FILM: Jack Hunter: The Lost Treasure Of Ugarit (2008) 4.50 Joe 90 5.20 Joe 90 5.55 Stingray 6.25 Stingray 6.55 Thunderbirds 8.00 FILM: Warbirds (2008) 9.40 FILM: The Last Winter (2006) 11.40 FILM: Candy Stripers (2006) 1.30am Ghost Stories

11.10am Duel In The Sun (1946) 1.20pm Stalag 17 (1953) 3.20 Sunset Boulevard (1950) 5.10 Too Late The Hero (1970) 7.25 Broken Arrow (1950) 9.00 The Producers (1968) 10.35 Duel In The Sun (1946) 12.50am Stalag 17 (1953) 3.00 Sunset Boulevard (1950)

11.45am Across The Universe (2007) 2.00pm Breaking And Entering (2006) 4.00 December Boys (2007) 6.00 Sunshine (2007) 8.00 The Edge Of Heaven (2007) 10.00 Eastern Promises (2007) 11.45 Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels (1998) 1.45am The Commitments (1991)

1.00pm Angels Over Broadway (1940) 2.40 The Man In Grey (1943) 4.55 Memoirs Of An Invisible Man (1992) 6.50 Flight Of The Phoenix (2004) 9.00 The Italian Job (2003) Remake of the 60s stalwart starring Mark Wahlberg. 11.05 Four Brothers (2005) 1.10am The Dreamers (2002)

8.30am The Shoes Of The Fisherman (1968) 11.20 The Oklahoma Kid (1939) 1.00pm This Woman Is Dangerous (1952) 3.00 Promises In The Dark (1979) 5.15 Murder Ahoy (1964) 7.00 The Cincinnati Kid (1965) 9.00 Surviving Picasso (1996) 11.25 Point Blank (1967) 1.05am Wild Rovers (1971)

4.20pm My Family 5.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 5.40 As Time Goes By 6.20 One Foot In The Grave 7.00 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 8.20 Only Fools And Horses 9.00 Fawlty Towers: Re-Opened 11.00 Men Behaving Badly 11.40 French And Saunders 12.20am Bread

4.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 7.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 8.00 Scrubs (x2) 9.00 South Park (x4) 11.00 The Sarah Silverman Programme 11.30 Chris Rock: Bigger And Blacker 12.55am The Sarah Silverman Programme

Classics

Indie

039_LS424_TV_sat

5/15/09

10:38 AM

Page 1

saturday 23 Primeval ITV1, 7.20pm There’s a big chunk of new team turned up in this series and it’s taken a while to get used to them. The dinosaurs didn’t really know the old team that well so they’re still trying to kill them willy nilly, just like the herd of embolotherium – rhino-like beasts – about to stampede. Can they be stopped? Hope so.

Hitler: The Rise Of Evil Channel 4, 9pm Starring Robert Carlyle as the moustachioed one, this tells the story of the future dictator’s rise up through the ranks of the Nazi party. Against a backdrop of German humiliation post World War I, this tries to explain just how one of the most devastating influences of the twentieth century came to pass.

Dark Angel E4, 10.55am More fantastic escapist fodder for that time when the duvet is your friend on a Saturday morning. In the show that first brought Jessica Alba to light as the genetically enhanced diamond in the rough Max, it won’t hurt your brain to see her beat up the baddies, save the goodies and fail to get her guy.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen 11.30 Football Focus 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Formula 1: The Monaco Grand Prix 2.15 Golf: PGA Championship 5.30 BBC News 5.40 South East Today 5.50 The Weakest Link

6.00-8.30am Children’s television 8.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 8.50 Frankenstein’s Cat 9.00 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 9.30 Hotel Trubble 9.55 Diddy Dick And Dom 10.00 Transmission: Impossible With Ed & Oucho 11.30 Young Dracula 12.00pm Kyle XY 12.40 Winging It 1.10 Class Of 2008 1.35 Sound 2.05 FILM: The Treasure Of Pancho Villa (1955) 3.35 FILM: Four For Texas (1963) 5.30 Golf: PGA Championship

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 10.30 Quincy, ME 11.30 Columbo 1.05pm ITV News And Weather 1.15 FILM: Carry On Jack (1963) 3.00 FILM: Blues Brothers 2000 (1998) 5.20 Meridian News And Weather 5.35 ITV News And Weather 5.50 You’ve Been Framed!

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 Texaco Havoline Ginetta Championship 8.00 The Morning Line 9.00 Yo Gabba Gabba 9.30 Friends 10.00 One Tree Hill 11.00 Friends 11.30 Green Day Live From Abbey Road 12.00pm Girls Aloud V Sugababes 1.00 Scrubs 1.30 Scrubs 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Come Dine With Me 4.30 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Tight Lines 7.30 Off The Bar 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 2.30 LIVE Football League 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 6.00 LIVE Super League 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 Football League 12.30am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.00 Spanish Football 2.30 Football League 4.00 Super League

6.35 Robin Hood Drama retelling the classic legend. Isabella will go to any lengths to prove her loyalty to the Prince, and to win the Sheriff’s job for herself. Meanwhile, suspicious news arrives from the Holy Land that King Richard is dead. 7.20 Tonight’s The Night John Barrowman hosts the final show of the all singing, all dancing series. A seven-year-old becomes the youngest cast member of High School Musical. Plus, Doctor Who fans are treated to the exclusive premier of Russell T Davies’ specially-written Doctor Who scene. Now we’re talking! 8.15 The National Lottery: 1 Vs 100 A quiz and a hope for loadsa dosh. 9.05 Casualty Medical drama. Alice’s life hangs in the balance, and Curtis is determined that someone will pay. But how far will he go to get revenge? After an awkward misunderstanding, Adam makes a bold declaration about Jessica and Harry. And, missing Sharice, Zoe decides to throw herself into work. 9.55 BBC News 10.15 Reggie Perrin Sitcom. 10.45 FILM: Pearl Harbor (2001) Starring Ben Affleck, Josh Hartnett, Kate Beckinsale, Jon Voight, Alec Baldwin, Tom Sizemore, William Scott, Greg Zola, Cuba Gooding Jr. Romantic drama set in World War II. 1.35am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.35 2.40 BBC News

6.35 Flog It! Paul Martin presents from Cambridge. 7.20 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. Mainwaring and the platoon take part in a Home Guard efficiency test. Don’t panic! 7.50 Chelsea Flower Show As the sun sets and the flowers fade on another Chelsea Flower Show, Alan Titchmarsh and the team look back at the highlights. 8.50 The Birth Of British Music Exactly what it says on the tin. 9.50 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Extended version of the popular news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Alexander Armstrong and guest panellists including Reginald D Hunter. 10.30 FILM: Donnie Darko (2002) Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Holmes Osborne, Mary McDonnell, Maggie Gyllenhaal. Surreal teen drama. During the presidential election of 1988, a teenage Donnie Darko sleepwalks out of his house and sees a giant, demonic-looking rabbit who tells him the world will end in 28 days. When Donnie returns home, he finds that a jet engine has crashed into his bedroom. Is Donnie living in a parallel universe or is he suffering from mental illness? 12.15am FILM: The Defender 1.45 FILM:Of Human Bondage 3.10 Inside F1

6.20 All Star Mr & Mrs Three more celebrity couples – Holby City actress Tina Hobley and her husband Oliver, The Bill’s Gary Lucy and his partner Natasha, and acting legend Brian Blessed and his wife Hildegard Neil – battle it out to see who knows the most about their other half in a bid to win £30,000 for their chosen charity. Please, PLEASE get Brian to say “Gordon’s alive!”. Flash rocks. 7.20 Primeval See highlights. 8.20 Britain’s Got Talent Ant and Dec host the last of the auditions. After the auditions are over, judges Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Amanda Holden will reveal which 40 acts have made it through to the live semi-finals. Place your bets – other than the global phenomenon that is Susan Boyle of course. 9.50 ITV News And Weather 10.05 FILM: Mission: Impossible II (2000) Starring Tom Cruise, Dougray Scott, Thandie Newton, Ving Rhames. When a sample of a deadly virus is stolen from the scientist carrying it, secret agent Hunt is enlisted to prevent the disease being unleashed on humanity. To quote the first movie – it’s not Mission difficult, it’s Mission impossible. Never gonna be that easy with a motto like that. 12.25am Six Degrees 1.15 FILM: Valdez Is Coming (1970) 2.45 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Crime 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.00 Come Dine With Me Reality series in which people compete to be the best dinner-party host. The competition in Sunderland concludes with Roy Ledger, who is preparing a full festive dinner at the height of summer. Get the maypole out! 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Big Art Bold arts series in which original works – commissioned by the general public – are brought to life around the UK. 8.00 Bear Grylls: Born Survivor Bear ventures into the unforgiving dark forests of Transylvania, where he negotiates steep ravines, cavernous underground water systems and a brown bear. 9.00 Hitler: The Rise Of Evil See highlights. 10.50 FILM: Bullitt (1968) Starring Steve McQueen, Robert Vaughn, Jacqueline Bisset, Don Gordon, Robert Duvall. Action-packed crime thriller about a tough police lieutenant who winds up in danger when a government witness under his protection is killed. He keeps the death of the informer secret in order to draw the killers into the open, but a corpse in a motel leads him to a shocking discovery. The frantic car chase through San Francisco is a classic sequence. 1.00am FILM: Brick (2005) 2.55 The Closer 3.40 Extinct 4.05 Time Team 5.05 Countdown 5.50 The Hoobs

6.00-8.00am Children’s television 8.00 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.15 Animal Families 8.35 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.50 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 9.00 Roary The Racing Car 9.15 Roobarb And Custard Too 9.30 The Milkshake! Show 10.00 Mobil 1 The Grid 10.30 The Gadget Show 11.30 Fifth Gear Stunt Special 12.30pm Oil Riggers 1.30 Michaela’s Zoo Babies 2.00 Zoo Days 2.15 FILM: The Wind In The Willows (1996) 3.55 FILM: Little Giants (1994) 5.55 FILM: The Goonies (1985) 8.00 Five News 8.05 NCIS Drama series following a team of agents who investigate crimes connected to Navy and Marine Corps personnel. Gibbs and the team get into a conflict of jurisdiction with the FBI as they try to protect a highprofile naval officer from an Al-Qaeda cell. Lazy telly for The Bogeymen. 8.55 NCIS An old war hero confesses to a murder although Gibbs believes there is more to the story than the man is letting on. Probably. His memory won’t be what it once was. 9.55 CSI: NY Crime drama series. A string of bizarre evidence inspired by previous cases leads Stella to the conclusion that someone is playing the team at their own game. But who could have taught the killer such sophisticated techniques? Ooh – dissention in the ranks perhaps? 10.55 Law And Order Crime drama. The survivor of a sinister cult kills his former nanny and tries to commit suicide. McCoy believes the person to blame is the leader of the cult, who also happens to be the man’s mother, and vows to prosecute her for child abuse and murder. Never gonna do it the straightforward way, eh MacCoy? 11.55 Quiz Call 4.00am The Gadget Show 4.45 Rough Guide To Weekend Breaks 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.15 The Milkshake! Show 5.40 Thomas & Friends 5.50 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Lions 1974: Invincibles 7.00 European Rugby: Challenge Cup 8.30 LIVE Super 14 Rugby 11.00 LIVE IRB Sevens 4.30pm LIVE European Rugby: Heineken Cup Final 7.30 LIVE IRB Sevens 9.00 Lions 1974: Invincibles 10.00 European Rugby: Heineken Cup Final 11.30 Super 14 Rugby 1.00am Lions 1974: Invincibles 2.00 European Rugby: Heineken Cup Final 3.30 Super 14 Rugby 5.00 Lions 1974 :Invincibles

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Race World 7.00 Max Power 8.00 Friday Fight Night 10.00 Gillette World Sport 10.30 LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 4.30pm LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 6.30 Gillette World Sport 7.00 Max Power 8.00 LIVE Golf Night 11.00 Golf Night 12.30am Gillette World Sport 1.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 2.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 4.00 Spanish Football 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Living

12.00pm Oops TV (x2) 1.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 2.00 It’s Me Or The Dog USA (x2) 4.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! 5.00 American Gladiators 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 Lost (x2) 11.00 Bones 12.00am Ross Kemp: Return To Afghanistan 1.00 24

7.00pm Two Pints Outtakes 7.30 Top Gear 8.30 The Real Hustle On Holiday 9.00 Horne And Corden (x3) 10.30 Live At The Apollo 11.15 Family Guy 11.40 American Dad! 12.05am My Weapon Is A Dog 1.05 The Real Hustle On Holiday 1.35 Bizarre ER 2.05 Horne And Corden (x3) 3.35 Two Pints Outtakes

7.00pm FILM: The Stars Look Down (1939) 8.35 All Our Working Lives 9.35 The Miners’ Strike 11.05 My Strike 12.05am The Lost Pictures Of Eugene Smith 12.45 The Night James Brown Saved Boston 2.00 BBC Four Sessions 3.00 My Strike 5.30 Close

2.05pm Britain’s Got More Talent 3.05 American Idol (x2) 6.10 FILM: Back To The Future Part III (1990) 8.20 Identical Triplets: Their Secret World 9.20 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.50 Britain’s Got More Talent 10.50 The Justin Lee Collins Show 11.50 Britain’s Got Talent 1.20am Britain’s Got More Talent

10.35am The Grand 11.40 PD James: Devices And Desires 12.50pm The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: The Double 1.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.00 Hornblower 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Wycliffe 7.00 A Touch Of Frost 9.00 Taggart 10.35 Cracker 11.45 Hornblower 1.35am Upstairs, Downstairs (x2)

10.55am Dark Angel (x2). See highlights. 12.45pm Roswell (x2) 2.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl 7.30 The Big Bang Theory 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Independence Day (1996) 11.45 Derren Brown: Evening Of Wonders 1.00am Dark Angel

9.00am A Place In The Sun 9.30 Time Team (x5) 2.35pm FILM: The Thomas Crown Affair (1968) 4.40 Grand Designs Abroad (x3) 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 Thriller In Manila 12.00am The West Wing 1.00 Thriller In Manila 2.55 Grand Designs 3.55 Close

11.00am Will And Grace (x2) 12.00pm Charmed 1.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 2.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 3.00 Will And Grace (x2) 4.00 Nothing To Declare (x8) 8.00 In Bed With Yvette & Karl 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 In Bed With Yvette & Karl 11.00 CSI 12.00am Eurotrash: The Sexy Bits (x2) 1.00 Charmed

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.00pm The Holy Grail 4.00 Forensic Detectives 5.00 Crime Scene USA (x2) 6.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 7.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 8.00 American Loggers 9.00 Undercover: Double Life 10.00 Gang Wars 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting

11.00am Sanctuary (x6) 4.00pm Sanctuary 5.00 Knight Rider 6.00 FILM: Tall Tale (1995) 8.00 FILM: Raging Sharks (2005) 9.50 FILM: Fire From Below (2009) 11.40 FILM: Bloodsuckers (2005) 1.40am Star Trek 2.50 Joe 90 (x2) 3.50 Stingray (x2) 4.50 Thunderbirds

10.15am Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) 12.40pm The Movie Geek 1.10 Funny Face (1957) 3.00 The Greatest Show On Earth (1952) 5.40 Journey To The Far Side Of The Sun (1969) 7.30 Hondo (1953) 9.00 Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) 11.25 Journey To The Far Side Of The Sun (1969) 1.10am Hondo (1953)

1.20pm The Darjeeling Limited (2007) 3.00 Margot At The Wedding (2007) 4.35 Clubland (2007) 6.25 The Movie Geek 6.55 The Castle (1998) 8.25 The Darjeeling Limited (2007) 10.00 Margot At The Wedding (2007) 11.40 Happiness (1999) 2.05am The Castle (1998)

11.00am Bugsy Malone (1976) 1.00pm Cheaper By The Dozen (2003) 2.50 Volcano (1997) 4.45 Just My Luck (2006) 6.45 Batman Forever (1995) 9.00 Austin Powers In Goldmember (2001) 10.50 Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1992) 12.30am Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls (1970)

8.00am The Oklahoma Kid (1939) 9.40 Ride Him Cowboy (1932) 10.45 Now, Voyager (1942) 1.00pm You’re A Big Boy Now (1966) 3.00 The Silver Chalice (1955) 5.30 Trial By Combat (1976) 7.10 Protocol (1984) 9.00 Caddyshack (1980) 10.55 Wise Guys (1986) 12.40am Clash Of The Titans (1981)

9.00am Blackadder’s Most Cunning Moments 11.00 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 2.05pm Blackadder’s Most Cunning Moments 4.05 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 7.10 Fawlty Towers: ReOpened 9.10 Fawlty Towers Exclusive: Basil’s Best Bits 11.10 Jonathan Creek 1.10am Fawlty Towers Exclusive: Basil’s Best Bits

4.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 5.00 Scrubs (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 Scrubs (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Lee Evans Live In Scotland 10.30 FILM: South Park: Bigger, Longer And Uncut (1999) 12.00am Chris Rock: Bigger And Blacker 1.25 Jackass (x2)

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sunday 24 Peter Kosminsky: The South Bank Show ITV1, 10.15pm A profile of BAFTA-winning filmmaker Peter Kosminsky, the controversial director of provocative TV factual dramas such as No Child Of Mine, Warrriors and The Government Inspector. Includes following him back to Bosnia again where he researched Warriors originally.

Ricky Gervais Live: Animals Channel 4, 10.30pm Just as Ricky Gervais has announced his new tour to take place later this year, here’s a taster of a previous success. Filmed at the Bloomsbury Theatre in London, Ricky muses, mulls and considers the whole of the animal kingdom and makes us all giggle. Like it? Book a ticket and see him live in December.

Father Ted More4, 11.10pm For a reassuring hug of a television programme you can’t get much better than vintage Father Ted. A classic episode sees Mrs Doyle win a poetry competition and a visit from singing heart-throb Eoin McLove. Soon the rest of the village hears and trouble brews.

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BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 The Politics Show 12.10pm Formula 1: The Monaco Grand Prix 3.00 EastEnders 4.55 Points Of View 5.10 Songs Of Praise 5.45 Final Score

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 ChuckleVision 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Dinosapien 7.55 Diddy Dick And Dom 8.00 The Legend Of Dick And Dom 8.30 M.I. High 8.57 The Owl 9.00 Escape From Scorpion Island 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Great British Menu 12.00pm Animal Park 1.00 Escape To The Country 2.00 Fred Dibnah’s Made In Britain 2.30 Golf: PGA Championship

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.40 FILM: Holiday On The Buses (1974) 1.25pm ITV News And Weather 1.30 Best Ever Worst Dance Moments 2.30 Britain’s Got Talent 4.00 FILM: Police Academy 3: Back In Training (1986) 5.45 Meridian News And Weather

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 GT4 European Cup 7.30 FIA GT Championship 8.00 Volvo Ocean Race 8.55 Friends 9.30 T4 Movie Special 10.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.30pm Friends 1.00 Being 1.35 The Big Bang Theory 2.05 The Big Bang Theory 2.40 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 3.40 The Simpsons 4.15 The Simpsons 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Channel 4 News 5.45 The Simpsons

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Lions 1974: Invincibles 7.30 European Rugby: Heineken Cup Final 9.00 Football League 10.30 Sunday Supplement 12.00pm Football Preview 1.00 LIVE Football League 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 7.00 Football League 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice 11.45 Football First: Match Choice 1.15am Football First: Match Choice 2.45 Football First: Match Choice 4.15 Football First: Match Choice 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

6.30 Last Of The Summer Wine When Clegg and Truly tell Hobbo that local serial groom Norris Fairburn is free again, he decides that Norris would be an ideal husband for Stella. 7.00 BBC News 7.15 South East Today 7.30 Countryfile Matt Baker and Julia Bradbury head for Strangford Lough in Northern Ireland to examine why strong tidal currents make it the perfect location for a tidal energy scheme. Elsewhere, John Craven investigates whether the latest scientific technology could help us feed ourselves if we had to become more self-sufficient in food production. 8.30 Inspector George Gently Crime drama. When a body is found in a local mill, Gently and Bacchus go on to uncover a web of local corruption, blackmail, fraud and robbery. It’s all happening here! 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker introduces highlights of today’s 10 Premier League games. 11.50 FILM: The Greatest Game Ever Played (2004) Starring Shia Labeouf, Stephen Dillane. Disney sports drama based on the true story of how 20-year-old golfing fanatic won the 1913 US Open. 1.40am Weatherview 1.45 Sign Zone: Terry Pratchett – Living With Alzheimer’s 2.45 Holby City 3.45News

6.30 Ray Mears Goes Walkabout Ray Mears takes a journey across Queensland with Les Hiddins, the bushtucker man. Each of them has already left his mark on the world of bushcraft, now they get to work together for the first time ever. 7.30 The Real Italian Job: James Martin’s Mille Miglia James Martin sets his sights on the gruelling Mille Miglia, the annual 1000-mile race through Italy in which over 300 classic cars compete. 8.30 South Pacific Documentary series looking at the South Pacific islands. A large part of the remote, blue wilderness of the South Pacific is a marine desert. 9.30 The Incredible Human Journey Dr Alice Roberts travels to discover the story of how humans left Africa to colonise the world. 10.30 Fighting Passions Documentary featuring interviews with soldiers on the act that defines them: killing. For civilians, it is a crime. For soldiers, it is a job. Soldiers who have done it usually do not talk about it, but five former British infantrymen recall the reality of it in compelling and candid detail. 11.30 The Graham Norton Show Uncut Joining Graham are Isabella Rossellini and Juliette Lewis. 12.15am FILM: Jet Li’s The Enforcer (1995) 1.55 BBC News 3.45 The Super League Show

6.00 ITV New; Weather 6.15 Beat The Star Vernon Kay hosts the gameshow where a member of the public goes head-tohead with a celebrity in a bid to win themselves £50,000. Today, a school mentor from Birmingham takes on former British tennis pro-turnedGMTV presenter Andrew Castle, in a series of exhilarating challenges. 7.30 Heartbeat Joe, Rachel and Carol find what they are looking for in Australia, but their search ends in tragedy. They were looking for Monster Munch but the only ones left were pickled onion? Probably not. 8.30 Britain’s Got Talent Ant and Dec host the first of the live semifinals. Judges Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Amanda Holden will decide which of today’s eight acts get to move a step closer to a spot on the Royal Variety Performance. 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 Peter Kosminsky: The South Bank Show See highlights. 11.15 Crossing Jordan Crime drama series about a Boston medical examiner. A man asks for help in bringing his father’s killer to justice, but Jordan discovers that there are people who would prefer the 40-yearold crime to remain unsolved. 12.15am It’s My Life 1.05 The Cosby Mysteries 2.00 Quincy, ME 2.50 Mediterranean Nightmares: Tonight 3.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.15 Night At The Museum Intro Ben Stiller introduces Night at the Museum. Bet he loves it and says it’s fabulous. 6.20 FILM: Night At The Museum (2006) Starring Ben Stiller, Ricky Gervais, Steve Coogan, Carla Gugino, Robin Williams, Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney and Bill Cobbs. Comedy about a security guard who takes the role of nightwatchman at a New York museum, unaware that an ancient curse causes the exhibits come to life after dark. 8.30 Come Dine With Me Reality series in which people compete to stage the best dinner-party. Four cooks from Croydon, including a professional deer stalker and a photographer, play host. 9.30 The Secret Millionaire Businesswoman Hilary Devey has made over a £100 million a year in the male-dominated haulage industry. Deciding she wants to give something back, Devey goes undercover for ten days at the Falinge housing estate in Rochdale, which has the highest percentage of people on incapacity benefits in the UK. You’ll cry before it’s over. 10.30 Ricky Gervais Live: Animals See highlights . 12.00am FILM: Once Upon A Time In America (1984) 4.00 Scrapheap Challenge 4.55 Countdown 5.40 The Cubeez 5.50 The Hoobs

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.20 Animal Families 8.35 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.50 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 9.05 Roary The Racing Car 9.20 Rupert Bear 9.35 The Milkshake! Show 10.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 10.30 Everybody Hates Chris 11.00 Helicopter Warfare 12.00pm Build A New Life In The Country 1.00 FILM: Strangers On A Train (1951) 3.00 FILM: Lawrence Of Arabia (1962) 7.05 Five News 7.15 Cricket On Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the second game of the NatWest One-Day International Series between England and West Indies. 8.00 FILM: Where Eagles Dare (1969) Starring Richard Burton, Clint Eastwood, Mary Ure, Michael Hordern, Patrick Wymark and Robert Beatty. All-action World War II espionage thriller about an elite commando group who are dispatched to rescue an American general held by the Nazis in a castle fortress in the Bavarian Alps. From the moment they parachute behind enemy lines, however, it becomes apparent that they face not only the might of the German army, but also a traitor in their midst. Scripted by Alistair MacLean from his bestselling novel. 11.05 FILM: The Wild Bunch (1969) Starring William Holden, Ernest Borgnine, Robert Ryan, Edmond O’Brien, Warren Oates and Jaime Sanchez. Epic frontier drama set in 1914 in which Texan bandits are ambushed by an old enemy and have to defend themselves against a Mexican revolutionary. 1.50am Winter X Games 2.10 Boxing Classic 2.40 Boxing USA 3.45 Motorsport Mundial 4.10 FIM Motocross 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.15 The Milkshake! Show 5.40 Thomas & Friends 5.50 Roary The Racing Car

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Spanish Football 8.30 Super League 10.30 LIVE International Cricket 2.30pm LIVE International Cricket 6.30 LIVE Golf Night: 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 International Cricket 12.00am Football League 1.30 Spanish Football 3.30 Football League 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Wild Spirits

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Pool: World Cup Of Pool 7.00 Seamaster Sailing 7.30 WWE Afterburn 8.30 WWE Vintage Collection 9.30 European Rugby: Heineken Cup Final 11.00 Wild Spirits 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Super League 2.00 WWE Vintage Collection 3.00 WWE Experience 4.00 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.00 LIVE Indianapolis 500 9.30 Rallyzone 10.00 Ocean Adventures 10.30 LIVE NASCAR 3.30am Ocean Adventures 4.00 Seamaster Sailing 4.30 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 5.30 Rallyzone

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BBC4

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11.00am WWE Experience 12.00pm Oops TV (x2) 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 The Real A & E 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 8.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! 9.00 Fringe (x2) 11.20 Lie To Me 12.20am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Formula 1: The Monaco Grand Prix 7.55 FILM: Hidalgo (2004) 10.00 Family Guy 10.25 American Dad! 10.45 Blood, Sweat And Takeaways 11.45 Ideal 12.15am My Weapon Is A Dog 1.15 Formula 1: The Monaco Grand Prix 2.05 Blood, Sweat And Takeaways 3.05 Ideal 3.35 Kirsten’s Topless Ambition

7.00pm North And South 8.00 A Poet’s Guide To Britain 8.30 Snow 9.30 The Great British Wedding 10.30 Wedding Rites: In Sickness And In Health 11.30 FILM: The Wedding Director (2006) 1.10am The Great Contemporary Art Bubble 2.10 Wedding Rites: In Sickness And In Health 3.10 Snow

12.00pm Britain’s Got More Talent (x6) 6.00 Britain’s Got Talent 7.30 Britain’s Got More Talent 8.30 Superhuman: World’s Smallest People 9.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 10.00 Britain’s Got More Talent 11.05 FILM: Notting Hill (1999) 1.40am Britain’s Got More Talent 2.35 Teleshopping

12.00pm Inspector Morse 2.15 Kavanagh QC 3.55 Wycliffe 5.00 Doctor Zhivago 6.35 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 7.45 The Classical BRIT Awards 2009 9.00 Beyond A Joke 10.00 FILM: Clockwise (1986) 11.55 PD James: Taste For Death (x2) 1.55am Surgical Spirit (x2) 2.50 The Wonder Years (x2)

11.00am How To Look Good Naked USA 11.30 Beauty And The Geek 12.25pm Kevin Hill 1.15 Joan Of Arcadia (x3) 4.00 Ghost Whisperer 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 90210 6.55 One Tree Hill 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 Desperate Housewives (x2) 11.00 Dirty Sexy Money 12.00am Ghost Whisperer 12.55 Dark Angel

10.05am Scrapheap Challenge (x4) 2.30pm Location, Location, Location (x5) 5.20 Come Dine With Me (x5) 8.00 Jamie At Home (x2) 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 10.00 Would You Save A Stranger? 11.10 Father Ted. See highlights. 11.40 The IT Crowd 12.10am Curb Your Enthusiasm

10.00am The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (x2) 11.00 Will And Grace (x2) 12.00pm Charmed 1.00 Home Video Heroes (x2) 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x8) 6.00 Find My Family (x2) 7.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 Ghost Whisperer 9.00 CSI Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI 12.00am Eurotrash: The Sexy Bits (x2) 1.00 Charmed

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm World War II: The Complete History (x4) 4.00 Mythbusters (x2) 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Time Team 8.00 Hitler’s Henchmen 9.00 SAS: Special Forces Heroes 10.00 Mystery Of The Lost Catacombs 11.00 NASA’s Greatest Missions 12.00am Crime Scene Australia 1.00 A Haunting

11.00am Sanctuary (x7) 6.00pm A Town Called Eureka 7.00 Knight Rider 8.00 Dollhouse 9.00 FILM: John Carpenter’s Vampires (1998) 10.50 FILM: Creature (2004) 12.40am FILM: Child’s Play 3 (1991) 2.30 Ghost Stories 3.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 4.00 FILM: Nature Unleashed: Volcano (2004)

3.10pm The Spy Who Came In From The Cold (1965) 5.10 Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines (1965) 7.25 Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969) 9.00 Coogan’s Bluff (1968) 10.40 The Spy Who Came In From The Cold (1965) 12.35am Support Your Local Sheriff! (1969)

11.40am The Savages (2007) 1.50pm Juno (2007) 3.40 The Movie Geek 4.10 Running With Scissors (2006) 6.15 The Savages (2007) 8.15 Juno (2007) 10.00 American Beauty (2000) 12.05am Parenthood (1989) 2.15 Sky Movies Special 2.45 Running With Scissors (2006)

11.00am The Beverly Hillbillies (1993) 1.00pm Cheaper By The Dozen 2 (2005) 2.45 Bless This House (1972) 4.30 Ben Stiller Introduces... 4.35 Mighty Joe Young (1998) 6.50 Grease (1978) 8.55 Ben Stiller Introduces... 9.00 Cocktail (1988) 11.00 Under Siege (1992) 1.00am Porky’s (1982)

9.10am The Old Man And The Sea (1958) 10.50 The Philadelphia Story (1940) 1.00pm Which Way To The Front? (1970) 3.00 The Elephant Man (1980) 5.10 Falling In Love (1984) 7.15 What’s Up Doc? (1972) 9.00 Presumed Innocent (1990) 11.30 Lone Star (1996) 2.10am Pat Garrett And Billy The Kid (1973)

12.10pm Morecambe And Wise: The Greatest Moment 1.45 The Green Green Grass (x3) 3.45 Only Fools’ Top 40 Moments 5.45 Morecambe And Wise: The Greatest Moment 7.20 FILM: Stuart Little 2 (2002) 9.00 Jonathan Creek (x2) 1.35am The Two Ronnies 2.20 Bread

9.00am The Office: An American Workplace (x19) 6.30pm Rules Of Engagement 7.00 Scrubs 7.30 The Office: An American Workplace 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 FILM: Dumb And Dumber (1994) 11.00 Lee Evans Live In Scotland 12.10am The Office

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monday 25 Churchill’s Darkest Decision Channel 4, 9.20pm It wasn’t all – “we shall fight them on the beaches...” When Churchill heard that the Germans were advancing in 1940 he took the decision to sink a fleet of French battleships to stop the advance on Britain. In doing so 1,300 French sailors were killed. Featuring interviews with survivors.

Going Postal BBC2, 10pm Documentary looking at the alarming trend in America of school and workplace shootings. Although 2009 is the tenth anniversary of the Columbine tragedy, the phenomenon is twice as old. With an interview with Michael Carneal, serving a life sentence for a school shooting, will we understand any better?

Beyond A Joke ITV3, 9.00pm Comedy through political unrest in the twentieth century comes to light tonight. Something we may be seeing reasonably soon with the elections around the corner, unemployment rising and the economy still not recovered. Ho hum. Clips include The Good Life, On The Buses, Agony, The Rag Trade and Only Fools and Horses.

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BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.00 Real Rescues 9.45 Homes Under The Hammer 10.45 The Unsellables 11.15 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.15 Regional News And Weather 1.20 Flog It! 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Flog It! 1.50 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 Wallace And Gromit: A Close Shave 3.30 FILM: Freaky Friday (2003) 5.00 FILM: National Treasure (2004)

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Jakers: The Adventures Of Piggley Winks 7.25 Space Pirates 7.55 Poetry Pie 8.00 Bear Behaving Badly 8.20 Basil’s Game Show 8.50 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.10 Pinky And Perky 9.25 Thumb Wrestling Federation 9.30 Beat The Boss USA 10.00 Little Howard’s Big Question 10.30 SMart 11.00 FILM: The Little Vampire (2000) 12.30pm FILM: The Moon-Spinners (1964) 2.25 Coast 2.30 Escape To The Country 3.00 Paralympic World Cup 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Great British Menu The country’s top chefs compete to cook a homecoming dinner for the soldiers returning from Afghanistan. 7.00 Only Yesterday: The Carpenters’ Story Documentary about brother and sister duo The Carpenters, one of the biggest selling pop acts of the 1970s, but one with a destructive and complex secret that ended in tragedy with Karen Carpenter’s untimely death at 32. Featuring behind-the-scenes footage and interviews with Richard Carpenter, family and friends. 8.00 Springwatch Simon King, Kate Humble and Chris Packham are joined by Gordon Buchanan and Martin Hughes-Games to follow a brand new cast of unforgettable wildlife characters. Kate, Chris and Martin will report from their base in Norfolk. Simon will be on a new mission in the wilds of Wales, home to polecats, goshawks and red kites. And Gordon will be getting close to a large family of badgers in suburban Essex. 9.00 Who’s Watching You? Who’s Watching You? Your stalker? The government? Your mum? 10.00 Going Postal See highlights. 11.30 The Wire Critically acclaimed drama series about drug dealers in West Baltimore and the police investigating them. 12.30am BBC News 4.00 Short Circuit (x2)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 The Biggest Loser 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Midsomer Murders 4.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.00 Divided

6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.20 Friends 9.50 Friends 10.20 Lily Allen Special: Under The Skin 11.25 FILM: Black Beauty (1971) 1.25pm FILM: Rio Grande (1950) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Coach Trip 5.30 Come Dine With Me

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.15 ITV Evening News; Weather 6.30 Coronation Street Uncut Bags of bloopers and more. 7.00 Emmerdale Val becomes concerned when Eric refuses to slow down following his heart scare. 7.30 Coronation Street Will Fiz find the missing Chesney? Eileen is not keen on Julie’s sisterly act. 8.00 Airline Fiona Hayes and six of her closest friends arrive at Luton for their flight to Palma – the only problem is that the flight was cancelled months ago! Uh oh. More trials and airport tribulations. 8.30 Coronation Street John has some distressing news for Fiz. A pub quiz causes fireworks between Ramsay and Norris. 9.00 Britain’s Got Talent Ant and Dec host the second of the live semi-finals. 10.30 The Late News; Weather 10.45 Championship Play-Off Final Highlights Action from the final at Wembley between Sheffield United and Burnley. 11.45 UEFA Champions League Weekly A preview of the UEFA Champions League Final between Barcelona and Manchester United. 12.15am Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Crime 1.10 Nightwatch With Steve Scott: Emergency 2.00 Loose Women 2.50 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Warren is livid to be branded a murderer, and takes it out on those closest to him. Dangerous place to be. Zak prepares a grand romantic gesture to apologise to Michaela for kissing Zoe. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.05 FILM: Around The World In 80 Days (2004) Starring Jackie Chan, Steve Coogan, Robert Fyfe, Jim Broadbent, Cecile France and Ian McNeice. Comedy adventure based on the famous novel by Jules Verne. The members of a gentlemen’s club in London challenge one of their number, the eccentric inventor Phileas Fogg, to navigate his way around the world by any means possible and return within 80 days. 9.20 Churchill’s Darkest Decision See highlights. 10.25 Operation: Surgery Live New series hosted by Krishnan Guru-Murthy offering viewers the chance to interact with leading surgeons as they carry out lifechanging operations. Urgh. 11.30 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr hosts a comedy show in which celebrity panellists to discuss the findings of opinion polls. 12.05am NY-LON 1.05 FILM: The Road To Guantanamo (2006) 2.55 Get The Picture 3.05 The Closer 3.50 Full Metal Challenge 4.50 Scrapheap Challenge 5.50 The Hoobs

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s telvision 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Pocoyo 8.50 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.55 Chiro 9.00 The Wright Stuff 9.50 BUPA London 10,000 11.00 Trisha Goddard 12.00pm Penguin Adventure With Nigel Marven 1.00 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.00 FILM: None But The Brave (1965) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.15 Neighbours 5.45 Home And Away 6.15 FILM: The Hunchback Of Notre Dame (1996) Animated version of the Victor Hugo classic story. Condemned to stay inside Paris’s Notre Dame cathedral by his evil guardian Frollo, Quasimodo the hunchbacked bell-ringer longs to see the outside world. One day he escapes and meets the beautiful gypsy dancer Esmerelda. 8.00 The Gadget Show Consumer technology show presented by Jason Bradbury, Suzi Perry, Jon Bentley and Ortis Deley. Ortis straps himself in for a white-knuckle ride as he and Suzi test the most exciting roller coasters in the UK. Elsewhere, Jon checks out the best new lawn mowers and Jason gets the lowdown on the top five gadgets powered by a USB port. 9.00 FILM: The Rookie (1990) Starring Clint Eastwood, Charlie Sheen, Raul Julia, Sonia Braga. Hard-hitting action film about a veteran police officer forced to break in a new young partner while trying to bust an international stolen-car ring. 11.25 FILM: Death Wish II (1982) Starring Charles Bronson, Jill Ireland, Vincent Gardenia, J D Cannon. Violent action sequel. 1.05am NASCAR: The Sprint Cup 2.05 USPGA Golf 2.55 AMA Supercross 3.45 Arenacross 4.35 Winter X Games 4.45 Motorsport Mundial 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Soccer Extra: Bank Holiday Special 11.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.00pm UEFA Champions League Weekly 12.30 Soccer Extra: Bank Holiday Special 2.30 LIVE Football League: Championship 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 6.00 LIVE Darts: Premier League 10.00 Living With Lions 12.00am Football League: Championship 1.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.00 Sports Unlimited 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.30 South East Today 7.00 BBC News At Six 7.25 Regional News; Weather 7.30 Everest ER Documentary. 8.00 EastEnders Billy desperately tries to make amends with Jay, but is left reeling when a mystery woman appears. Oh, oh, oh it’s magic! 8.30 Panorama Current affairs. Who authorised the torture of terror suspects in US custody? Investigating whether the interrogation techniques used by the Bush administration after 9/11 broke US and international law. 9.00 Ashes To Ashes Police drama set in the 1980s. A dead body found floating in a canal is identified as Colin Mitchell, a man recently reported missing by his wife, Donna. Alex can’t shake the feeling that Donna is hiding something, and wants to use her profiling skills to explore the case further. However, these skills start to fail her as she undergoes surgery in 2008. Ah. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.10 Regional News; Weather 10.15 The Omid Djalili Show Stand-up and sketches from awardwinning comedian Omid Djalili. 10.45 Inside Sport 11.15 FILM: Two For The Money (2005) Starring Al Pacino, Matthew McConaughey, Rene Russo. Thriller. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: South Pacific 2.15 Real Rescues 3.00 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 International Cricket 8.30 Football First 10.00 Football First 11.30 Football First 1.00pm Football First 2.30 LIVE Twenty20 Cup Cricket 6.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 LIVE Elite League Speedway 9.30 H2O Sports International 10.00 Poker 12.00am Elite League Speedway 2.00 Living With Lions 4.00 Football League: Championship 5.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am WWE The Bottom Line 7.00 Indianapolis 500 9.30 NASCAR 12.00pm Golf Night 3.00 Golf Night 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Powerboat P1 Championship 7.30 H2O Sports International 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 Football League: Championship 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close

Victoria Nangle

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BBC4

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ITV3

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Living

9.00am Futurama (x10) 2.00pm UK Border Force (x2) 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle 4.30 It’s Me Or The Dog USA 5.30 Futurama (x2) 6.30 Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 24 (x2) 11.00 Road Wars (x2) 1.00am Inside: Predator Task Force 1.50 Road Wars 2.45 Toughest Pubs In Britain 2 3.35 Road Wars

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Robin Hood 8.30 The Real Hustle On Holiday 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Bizarre ER 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Ideal 11.00 Family Guy )x2) 11.45 Gavin And Stacey 12.15am Horne And Corden 12.45 Ideal 1.15 The Real Hustle On Holiday 1.45 Drinking With The Girls

7.00pm Landscape Mysteries 7.30 What The Romans Did For Us 7.40 Timewatch: Hadrian’s Wall 8.30 A Poet’s Guide To Britain 9.00 How The Celts Created Britain 10.00 The Jew Who Dealt With The Nazis: Storyville 11.30 How Vietnam Was Lost 12.50am Ghosts Of The 7th Cavalry: Storyville

3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Creature Comforts 5.30 Britain’s Got Talent 7.00 Britain’s Got More Talent 8.00 Primeval 9.00 New Homes From Hell 2009 10.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 10.30 Britain’s Got More Talent 11.30 Katie & Peter: Stateside 12.35am Coronation Street (x2)

8.15am On The Buses (x13) 3.15pm Comedy Classics: On The Buses 3.50 FILM: On The Buses (1971) 5.30 FILM: Mutiny On The Buses (1973) 7.20 FILM: Holiday On The Buses (1974) 9.00 Beyond A Joke. See highlights. 10.00 Ghostboat 11.30 Inspector Morse 1.40am On The Buses (x5) 3.50 Film File

12.45pm Scrubs (x2) 1.45 Smallville: Superman The Early Years 2.40 One Tree Hill 3.30 Gilmore Girls 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 90210 10.00 Bring Back Star Trek 11.35 Scrubs (x2) 12.30am My Name Is Earl 1.00 Bring Back Star Trek

10.45am FILM: The Battle Of The Bulge (1965) 1.45pm 3 Minute Wonder (x3) 2.00 River Cottage Spring (x4) 6.20 Come Dine With Me (x5) 9.00 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 10.05 Bill Bailey Live: Part Troll 11.40 TV Heaven, Telly Hell 12.15am ER 1.15 Bill Bailey Live: Part Troll 2.50 ER 3.50 Close

12.00pm Maury (x2) 1.50 The Fix 2.00 Passport Patrol 2.30 RSPCA Animal Rescue 3.00 CSI 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 7.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 8.00 CSI 9.00 Britain’s Next Top Model 10.00 Trophy Wives 11.00 CSI (x2) 1.00am Charmed 2.00 Britain’s Next Top Model

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

11.00am Born Survivor: Bear Grylls (x4) 3.00pm SAS: Special Forces Heroes (x4) 7.00 How Do They Do It? 7.30 How It’s Made 8.00 American Chopper 9.00 Whale Wars 10.00 Mythbusters 11.00 Crime Scene Australia 12.00am Crime Scene USA (x2) 1.00 A Haunting 2.00 Couples Who Kill

2.20pm FILM: My Stepmother Is An Alien (1988) 4.20 FILM: Jack Hunter: The Lost Treasure Of Ugarit (2008) 6.20 FILM: Warbirds (2008) 8.00 A Town Called Eureka 9.00 FILM: Jack Hunter: The Quest For Akhenaten’s Tomb (2008) 11.00 FILM: Mega Snake (2004) 1.00am FILM: Mansquito (2005)

8.40am The Birds (1963) 10.45 Shadow Of A Doubt (1943) 12.35pm Spellbound (1945) 2.30 Marnie (1964) 4.45 Notorious (1946) 6.30 Hitchcock Special 7.00 Vertigo (1958) 11.20 Hitchcock Special 11.50 Frenzy (1972) 1.50am Marnie (1964) 4.10 Spellbound (1945)

9.00am Notes On A Scandal (2006) 10.40 Almost Famous (2000) 1.25pm For Your Consideration (2006) 3.05 Notes On A Scandal (2006) 4.45 Into The Wild (2007) 7.15 Almost Famous (2000) 10.00 Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) 12.00am In Bruges (2008) 1.50 The Movie Geek

11.00am Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989) 1.05pm An Affair To Remember (1957) 3.20 Ben Stiller Introduces... 3.25 Doctor Dolittle (1998) 5.05 Flight Of The Phoenix (2004) 7.15 Airplane! (1980) 9.00 Snakes On A Plane (2006) 11.05 Planes, Trains And Automobiles (1987) 12.50am Beneath The Planet Of The Apes (1970)

7.05am Teleshopping 7.40 The Philadelphia Story (1940) 10.40 Mary Mary (1963) 1.00pm The Wizard Of Oz (1939) 3.00 Ben-Hur (1959) 6.50 Promises In The Dark (1979) 9.00 Short Cuts (1993) 12.35am Cannery Row (1982) 2.50 Without Limits (1998) 5.00 The Star (1952)

9.00am The Green Green Grass (x4) 11.40 Blackadder Exclusive: The Whole Rotten Saga 1.40pm The Vicar Of Dibley Top 40 3.45 FILM: Stuart Little 2 (2002) 5.15 Blackadder Exclusive: The Whole Rotten Saga 7.15 The Vicar Of Dibley Top 40 9.20 Jonathan Creek 11.45 The Green Green Grass 12.25am The Two Ronnies

9.00am Two And A Half Men (x26) 10.00pm Rules Of Engagement 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 South Park (x2) 12.40am Scrubs (x2) 1.40 Jongleurs Unleashed (x2) 2.40 Sexy Cam 2.50 The King Of Queens 3.20 Scrubs (x2) 4.15 Taxi (x2) 5.05 MASH (x2)

Classics

Indie