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t h e city magazine for brighton & h o v e www.thelatest.co.uk
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★ 21 – 27 July 2009
FREE WEEKLY
Win! Ralph Lauren sunglasses
Party time Celebrate Pride festivities with Wild Fruit page 13
Dining deals Discount vouchers for over a dozen top city restaurants
000_LS433_SKYBAR
7/16/09
1:30 PM
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003_LS433_contents
7/17/09
12:34 PM
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Contents ★ latest upfront 4–9 4 Competitions: Ashes to Ashes on DVD 4 Social Diary: Wonderland launch 5 Seann: what’s in an accent? 5 Will: first date disasters 6 Bare Cheek: flirting on Facebook 6 Astral Angi: official sponsors 7 Dani: going green for the right reasons 8 News: tax your car; bandstand opens 9 Celeb City: baby news for local stars
★ latest lifestyle 10–24
Welcome P
★ latest listings 25–41 25 Reviews We laughed and we cried
26 Stage Win Dame Edna tickets!
09
27 Film Rom-com summer with The Proposal
28 Comedy Here’s a funny story
28 Art A new year of Artwave
29 Kids & Events Take a leap for a good cause
29 Sport Juice FM’s Tony Marks on cricket
11 Pride special: Wild Fruit gear up for Pride; local companies join the party
30 Music CarbonZero Muzik; reviews; gigs Latest Brighton Download Chart
15 Corbett Lee: official Pride sponsors 17 Gay listings: don’t miss the celebrations 18 Health: win men’s skincare products! 19 Food: Anise delights
TOP
14 Win Ralph Lauren sunglasses!
30 19
33 Clubs Get your hat on and party
34 TV
20 Dining deals: discount vouchers
Four Weddings is no romance
22 Hotlist: guide to eating out
26
11
Cover image: © ChrisJepson.com
01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith
Production Manager Neil Ive
Business Director Angi Mariani
Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Creative Director Andrew Kay
Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker
Production Director Fiona McTernan
Music Editor Jeff Hemmings
Finance Manager Sharon Caple
Sub Editors Pearl Bates Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell
Art Director Stephen King
Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer Staff Writers Ralph Miller Dani Winch Clubs Writer Jaime Pettit Books Writer John O‘Donoghue
Advertising Director Lynne Edward Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless
Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH
28 30
ride kicks off in Brighton and Hove this weekend. As an official media partner with Pride, we make sure you don’t miss a minute of the celebrations with comprehensive news and listings. Pride Beside The Seaside will be one of the largest and most celebrated Pride events in Europe and we are proud to have it here in the city. Wild Fruit (p13) hosts the official Pride party and closing party across the weekend of 1 and 2 August. Buy your tickets now. In our Pride special, local businesses show their support for this year’s festivities: win the chance to model designer eyewear for boutique optician Frames in the Lanes (p14) and raise funds for Pride in the process. Win About Face men’s skincare products worth over £100 (p18), and Ralph Lauren sunglasses with David Clulow, Brighton (p14). The free giveaways don’t end there: in other competitions we are giving away Ashes to Ashes on DVD, tickets to see Noddy (p4) and a fabulous theatre prize to see Dame Edna Everage in Last Night of the Poms (p26). This special issue also sees the return of our monthly Dining Deals (p20). Eating out has never been easier with a fantastic choice of top city restaurants offering discounts for Latest readers. Cut out and keep your vouchers – most are valid throughout August – and enjoy summer dining at over a dozen restaurants. If you’re venturing outside the city for a day trip, Andrew Kay has a top recommendation for eating out (p19): Anise in Tunbridge Wells scores full marks for a wonderful meal and great value. In news (p8), Phil Mills reports on the police crackdown on illegal and dangerous road users. Elsewhere, a locally conducted study gives an insight into our cats’ behaviour. At last, we can know what’s on their minds… Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears has news on an iconic seafront bandstand reopening (p8). Seann wonders if the gods are conspiring against him as he goes on a first date (p5), and Dani realises romance is dead in new competitive show Four Weddings (p34). Here’s to a busy and fun-packed week celebrating Pride 2009!
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7/17/09
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04 LATEST DIARY Katy Jobbins (Stanford Spa Lagoon), Paul Bate (Community Savings)
In it to Latest diary win it Tim Richardson ▲
Win Noddy Tickets This week we’re giving away three family tickets to see Noddy live at the Connaught Theatre in Worthing. Noddy and friends will be taking you on a fun dance and sing-a-long party in Toytown. Our tickets are for two adults and two children to go along and watch Noddy, Big Ears, Tessie Bear and the rest on stage for their 60th Anniversary show. Winners need to be available on Tuesday 28 July, so you’ve only got a week! To be in with a chance to win one of three sets of family tickets, just tell us: In which town do Noddy and his friends live? See below for entry details.
▲
Win Ashes to Ashes on DVD This week we’re also giving away a box set of the entire second series of Ashes to Ashes, the BBC crime show set in the 1980s. The series is the follow up to the hugely popular Life on Mars, and features Philip Glenister and Keeley Hawes – unlikely partners tasked with policing the mean streets of 1980s London. As well as every episode of the second series, the DVD box set includes an 80s quiz and a behind-the-scenes peek of the series. To be in with a chance to win this great box set, just tell us: Which singer’s hits provide the name to both Ashes to Ashes and its predecessor Life on Mars? See below for entry details.
To win, email:
competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the Competition in the subject box and your answer in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget your name, address and phone number. Closing date for entries: for ‘Noddy tickets’ is Monday 27 July, ‘Ashes to Ashes’ competition closes 3 August.
discovers new treatments and takes a trip to Wonderland
Christopher Gull Diane Cheung (Gars Restaurant)
Charlotte Elizabeth St James, Stephanie St James (RSVPR), Anna Carey (Anna Carey Events)
Make a change A New You held their launch party on Wednesday 24 June with demonstrations of some of their treatments that include surgical and non-surgical procedures. They offer independent and unbiased advice and consultations for facial and body enhancement. A New You is able to guide you through the sometimes confusing options of just which
Vikki Rawlings
type of treatment is most suitable for your needs. In many instances surgery is not always the best option. Their experts offer you a completely tailor-made service and are always available to advise and guide you all the way before, during and after your appropriate treatment. For more information visit: www.a-newyou.co.uk
Sara Warland-Edge (The Queen of Hearts)
Carol Cleveland, Tony Snell
Jenny Jubiel (White Rabbit), Michael Knox Johnston (GM.The Grand Hotel), Simon Rewell (Mad Hatter)
Rockinghorse launch Tristan Simmonds from Crawley Down, a member of Music Bus, joined 30 children on board a big red bus to help launch Rockinghorse’s annual flagship fundraising event, The Wonderland Ball which is to be held at the Grand Hotel in Brighton. The ball takes place on Saturday 28 November 2009 and will be an Alice in Wonderland themed night of entertainment and fundraising. The bus which left from Chalkhill Hospital for children made a grand entrance as it swept into the hotel, where children were met by Alice (Miss Teen Brighton) the White Rabbit, the mad hatter and the Queen of Hearts, who handed out balloons. Last year’s Silk Ball raised £87,000.
005_LS433_will/seann
7/17/09
8:56 AM
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CITY SPEAK 05
Seann recently re-watched The Departed, Martin Scorsese’s long-awaited return to form after the nonsensical, self-indulgent Gangs of New York. Well, first off, it is very good. It's classic Scorsese: stylish montages, nasty powerful men and plenty of plot strands resolved by guns. No other film-maker is able to say so much so simply. However (and there is a ‘however’), one detail of The Departed is so headhammeringly distracting that it destroys every moment of its presence: Ray Winstone’s accent. The film is set in Boston, where Winstone plays a senior member of Jack Nicholson’s brutal Irish-American gang. His character is, it seems, Irish by birth. Or maybe Scottish. Or Martian. His character is named Mr. French, as if to acknowledge his generic foreign speech patterns. This is the problem: his accent is so earthshatteringly dire that it’s impossible to place. In other words, Ray Winstone has invented a new accent. He doesn’t sound Scottish, or Irish, or American, or whatever he is supposed to be. Accents are one of many things that we allow film to get away with. In old WW2 films (such as The Train with Burt Lancaster),
Seann Walsh says it’s a shame about Ray
I
Will ince T flew off into the sunset with a cabin crew training course (he told me he had to prioritise his career; I told him the exits were here, here and here), I’ve started to get the impression God doesn’t want me to date. On the morning of my first date with L, a young politico with one of the main parties, I looked in the mirror to find one of the Ten Plagues of Egypt staring back at me. Boils. Well, one boil. OK, one spot, but it was a really, really big one. Seriously, this thing had more heads than the hydra. When I pricked it with a pin, blood came out and it screamed. OK, it didn’t scream, but blood came out – blood! Another plague! Two of the ten and I hadn’t even brushed my teeth. At work that day I racked my brains for a reason behind this divine retribution. Hadn’t I been a good boy? I’d met my deadlines, cooked dinner for my flatmate, I’d even returned my mother’s phonecalls. No, most likely it was all in my head. Then the clock ticked round to half five, the heavens opened, and God unleashed his flood upon the city. I hurried through the dripping streets in a colleague’s hastily-borrowed cagoule,
“It seems absurd to give someone a job if they can’t do all of it” the French characters are simply Americans who say bonjour instead of hello. We demand a little more effort these days, but clearly not enough. Why not just cast an actor who is from the region? Or, since this is acting, an actor who can put on the accent? It seems absurd
to give someone a job if they can’t do all of it. We would not accept a doctor who couldn’t pronounce the long words, or a prime minister who can’t control his party or make basic decisions (oh, hang on...). Of course, films can get away with a lot more than just dodgy accents. In the new Transformers movie, the performances are so wooden you could build furniture from them. And the film has the nerve to last five seconds longer than 2001 (the Kubrick film), while it feels five seconds longer than 2001 (the year). Michael Bay, the director of that lamentable franchise, is responsible for far more crimes against cinema. I would be happy to see Ray Winstone threaten him, provided he used his own accent.
Will Harris dries off for an electric evening
S
“Pharoah had the death of the first-born, I apparently had the death of the first date”
struggling to remember why I’d decided to leave the house with no coat and no umbrella. This was bad; turning up to a date with a spot the size of Minnesota and wearing an ill-fitting cagoule is hardly key to a good first impression. Then again, the way things had been going, L would probably be lucky not to spend the evening making ‘getting to know you’ chit-chat with a pillar of salt. There were no seats in the pub (of course – plague of enforced standing), so – having stowed the cagoule safely out of sight – I propped myself against the bar and waited. Time passed. Pharoah had the death of the first-born, I apparently had the death of the first date. I was being stood up. I was about to throw in the towel when L arrived, late but sufficiently apologetic that I decided to give him a chance. So much had gone wrong it seemed I should at least get a drink out of it. Plus, it was still tipping it down and I had no intention of climbing back into my wet-weather gear in public. So ha! The Almighty’s plan had backfired. Lightning did strike that night, but – in the end – God had nothing to do with it. www.twitter.com/william_tells
For comments and chit chat email: letters@thelatest.co.uk
7/16/09
1:14 PM
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06 ONLY JOKING!
Bare cheek
In & Out
Humorously suggestive food-stuffs edition
Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
Ask Uncle Nick Nick Cave is back to solve all your relationship problems
Nick x
Astral Angi This week, Astral gives tips on finding a sponsor
In
Hove factually
5
Fascinating Facts you never knew about fantabulous Hove!
1 Between the months of January and April 2009, one Mrs. Alma Courtnedge, 78, of Shirley Drive, mistakenly referred to U.S. President Barrack Obama as “Obama Bin Laden” a record 7098 times. She attributes her success to unfamiliarity with foreign-sounding names, their phonetic similarity, and the onset of Alzheimers. 2 Hangleton Manor was once a gaol house for locking up rowdies. Overnight ’guests’ have included such notables as Norman St. JohnStevas, Katie Johnson a.k.a. Mrs. Wilberforce in The Ladykillers, A. N. Wilson, Derek Nimmo, Wizbit, Young Mr. Grace, Dr. George Carey, Danno from Hawaii Five-O, and Two Unlimited. 3 Ancient Egyptian Pharoah and failed pioneer Monotheist Akhenaten based designs for his ideal city Armana on Aldrington. 4 Hove imposes a strict tariff on all visitors for use of its name as a verb, exacting the sum of one
Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!
• Melons • Stuffing • Cock-a-Leekie • Spotted Dick • Kumquats
Out • • • • •
Marrow Dumplings Coq Au Vin Fondant Fancies Rissoles
Dear Uncle Nick, I happened to look over my girlfriend’s shoulder while she was on the computer the other day, only to find her flirting like mad with a colleague from work on Facebook. When I confronted her about this she said I was overreacting and that ”everybody does it.” I replied that I never did things like that on Facebook and she said I was a boring old stick-in-the-mud (but not in so many words!) She seems to think flirting in cyberspace doesn’t count. Is this true, or am I right to be annoyed? Colin, Hove Uncle Nick Says: Strewth! Okay, first things first – can somebody please explain to me exactly what the bleeding point of Facebook is? I mean, everyone says it’s great for inviting people to parties and things, but I don’t see how it’s any more convenient than sending a group email (or even calling people up? Remember that?) And what’s with all this sending people a poke or a pint of grog or whatever? Honestly, you get an email from someone on Facebook, and you click on the link and have to log in and everything, only to find it’s just some galah asking you to do a quiz about which character from Battle Of The Planets you are (7-Zark-7, since you’re asking.) It's completely bloody pointless! And don’t get me started on Twitter! Ahem! Anyway, Colin, my answer to you is 1: Tell her to bloody stop it, and 2: Both of you get out in the sunshine and get a bit of fresh air. Hope this has been of help.
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guinea for the phrase “Hove into view” and 10/6 for the rather less fashionable “It behoves me.” 5 In celebration of its namesake’s recent beatification, pupils at Cardinal Newman are to devise a musical based on the life of the great divine, portraying in song and dance such exciting incidents as his spearheading of the Oxford Movement, his conversion to Rome, his very public spat with Charles Kingsley, and the founding of the Birmingham Oratory. Called simply Oh John Henry!, tickets are currently available for minus £1,500,000.
BARDSLEY’S
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)
CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)
LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)
CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19).
Aries the ram is ruled by Mars. Now we have to be careful here because I cant find a precedent for any of the other signs being sponsored by a confectionery brand – not yet…
Cancerians should all be sponsored by Rick Stein. Rick already has the status of a god in food circles so what could be better? Smaller deals may be struck with Hellmans.
Librans could easily look to Salter, manufacturers of fine scales but I personally think the Department for Criminal Justice should take you on – in every sense.
Capricorns should have acted sooner and struck a cunning deal between Gracie Fields and Dr Scholl – Capri and corns get it? Oh please yourselves, its too hot for this malarkey this week.
TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)
LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)
SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)
AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)
Taureans could of course be sponsored quite handsomely by Bovril or Oxo. Nice old fashioned brands that might benefit from a little astral influence. Who needs Max Clifford?
Leos have for years been secretly sponsored by Metro Goldwyn Mayer, real star makers. Lion bars did make a bid but there was a conflict with Aries and the Mars connection.
Scorpios should be looked after by human ninja, Scorpion, a hell-spawned revenant, inexorably seeking vengeance against those responsible for the destruction of his clan. Tee hee.
Aquarians are all too often sponsored by Ron the Roach who promises to make life just that little bit ‘easier.’ I need to talk to Ron and so does the drug squad – confidentially.
GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)
VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)
SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)
PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)
Geminis should look to Mothercare where a selection of double buggies are available to cart twins around in . Funny that the idea of twins always conjures images of children.
Virgos should form a business bond with Ann Summers and The London Rubber Company. Fine benefits could be found from such a comfortable alliance of power and ideals.
Sagis are well covered by Saga, Sanatogen, Wincarnis, Stannah, Complan, Tena Lady and yes Tena Man. Sadly they are less well provided for by the government’s pensions dept.
Pisces should be sponsored by Bardsley’s but they sponsor me and my weekly drift across the astral plain – so hands off Pisces, find your own sugar parents, Roy and Muriel are mine.
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7/16/09
10:57 AM
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DEFINITELY DANI 07
Dani here always seems to be a news story about a village somewhere protesting against the erection of wind turbines. I have to say that I really don’t think they are the most beautiful thing to plop onto a picturesque space, but they are kind of a necessity. Where do you draw the line between protecting pastures green and protecting the planet those pastures live off? Surely without one the other won’t survive for much longer. But then it isn’t just the fact that they look a bit odd it is also the fact that occasionally a bird might fly into it and, well, die. But no one stops planes from being built and sky scrapers from appearing so would the birds not come to understand that perhaps it might be best to
T
Dani gets the wind up about going green; are we doing it for the right reasons?
fly over it? I am not in any way claiming to be an expert on the thought patterns of birds, but it seems like they manage to survive with other things blocking their flight paths. It feels to me as if most people are ‘going green’ because it is the fashionable thing to do at the minute. None of us seem happy with the idea that recycling may help prolong the life of our planet, but once
“Why do we put so much emphasis on what recycling can do for our shopping bill?”
Recycle for life If you are unsure of what is and isn’t allowed into your recycling boxes then check out the Brighton and Hove City Council website. They have information about what can and can’t be recycled in the city. Although I found the information on some accounts a bit confusing, you get the gist of what is allowed. Be careful with plastics most importantly, as there are a number of different types and only a few can be recycled at present. Check it out to make sure you are putting the right things in the right boxes: www.brighton-hove.gov.uk then click the link on the left hand side saying ‘refuse and recycling.’
we are told it could potentially save us money as we would use less bin bags then we all rush out and recycle everything we can find. It is such a shame that we have to have a monetary incentive to do something we should have been doing all along. Does our sense of responsibility stop at our garden gate? Why do we put so much emphasis on what recycling can do for our shopping bill? Why make regular light bulbs, why not just supply energy efficient electrical items? Why have the temptation there in the first place? Why make light fixtures that you can’t fit an energy efficient light bulb into? Why can you still buy Land Rovers when you only want it to drive through a city and drop your kids off at school? Why are there not more affordable hybrid cars? Why does it feel like roads are continually being expanded and improved and rail tracks and trains become more unreliable? Is it just me or does something not compute? During years past every last scrap of something was used because it was a necessity but now we only appear interested
in re-using something that some woman did on TV. It is now fashionable to re-jig old clothes and wear them again, we are all growing our own food because Jamie Oliver said so and we are all putting our plastic, glass and tin into little black boxes. The thing is that it was once a necessity and it is again a necessity. It is not an option – we have to do everything we can. The planet will die one day, the sun will burn out, how mortifying would it be if we were the reason the planet died long before the sun? You wouldn’t be saving much money then would you?
latestcrossword Cryptic 198
solutions on page 32
Quick 198
ACROSS
DOWN
ACROSS
1 Bounder in a box ends up in the water (7) 5 Christmas character disguised as Mr Evil (5) 8 A vintage drink, perhaps (5-4) 9 Lenin's not at home, my man (3) 10 Join together lake divided by force (5) 12 Ailing bird said to be criminal (7) 13 Charge girl in disarray leaving a cricket club (6) 14 Let salesman with animal overtake again (6) 17 The one time Calvinist leaders come round to hide (7) 19 Looking grey like chicken (5) 21 Falsehood about man of scripture (3) 22 Distasteful leper getting over period of abstinence (9) 24 He sings a number with orchestral introduction (5) 25 Dense policeman made to come down (7)
1 Credit me with a sort of food (5) 2 Unhappy beginnings in Saudi Arabian desert (3) 3 Sir Les - a stuffy sort (7) 4 Evoke headless girl without question (6) 5 Illegally remove construction material, by the sound of it (5) 6 The daily way to get message over (9) 7 Perplex us no more, as they say in France (7) 11 Assemble in scene or review (9) 13 Old worker shown around unfamiliar French resort (7) 15 Permits to brew Ben's Ale (7) 16 What lovers did clandestinely in "Penelope Dickens" (6) 18 It's frightening to lose the opening by mistake (5) 20 Eminent man absent? (5) 23 She's the first up or down (3)
1 Diameter (7) 5 Rough (5) 8 Element (9) 9 Chatter (3) 10 Begins (5) 12 Touching without intersecting (7) 13 Violate (6) 14 Gain (6) 17 Trap (7) 19 Valleys (5) 21 Atmosphere (3) 22 Set up (9) 24 Vacant (5) 25 Prize draw (7).
DOWN 1 Figured gem (5) 2 Fall behind (3) 3 Consecrated (7) 4 Expels (6) 5 Of mankind (5) 6 Sorry (9) 7 Biological abode (7) 11 Listen in (9) 13 Repeat (7) 15 Glowing (7) 16 Water craft (6) 18 Goodwill (5) 20 Unhappily (5) 23 Falsehood (3).
008_LS433_newsphil/Council
7/16/09
11:36 AM
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08 LATEST NEWS
L7NEWS
News
Grand stand
Phil Mills: police crackdown on illegal and dangerous road users, and your cat’s purr is deciphered
Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on the Birdcage Bandstand reopening
Taxing matters U ntaxed cars are the bain of the lives of the vast majority of law-abiding road users who renew their tax discs. Now, Sussex Police are taking action with a series of crackdowns. The East Neighbourhood policing team in Eastbourne joined forces with officers from the DVLA to focus on untaxed cars, vehicles driven in an anti-social manner and on drivers who constantly ignore road safety outside of schools. During the day of action, 13 cars were clamped by the DVLA for having no tax in the Langney, Shinewater, Harbour, and Roselands areas of Eastbourne. Haven School, Stafford School, and Roselands Schools were patrolled and police scared off many drivers who were planning to park dangerously to drop off or pick up children. PC Faulkner, of the Neighbourhood Policing Team, said: “The operation has been thanks to the working partnership with local PCSOs, DVLA and Road Policing Unit. Strong partnership activity together with strong enforcement achieves long term reductions in crime.” Residents spoken to were pleased with the action but sceptics were concerned problems would return as soon as the police backs were turned. But PC Faulkner replied: “Be warned – this was just the first of many days targeting the priorities in the areas.”
Feisty felines Research at Sussex University has revealed how cats ”purrfect” the art of sound to exploit their owners. Crafty cats coax their owners into giving them what they want by using a special purr that humans just can’t ignore, says new research by a team of psychologists. They discovered that cat owners find this ”solicitation” purr irresistible because a high-frequency element embedded within it, similar to a cry or meow, subtly triggers a sense of urgency. By employing such an embedded cry, cats appear to be exploiting innate tendencies that humans have for nurturing offspring. However, in this case the felines subtly bury their ”feed me” messages in an otherwise pleasant purr.
Restoring a sense of civic pride in our city’s Victorian seafront heritage is one of my top priorities as leader of the Council. I strongly believe that it is a crucial factor in Brighton and Hove remaining one of the top tourist destinations in the country. I am, therefore, delighted to be able to say that the Grade II listed ”Birdcage” Bandstand is formally reopening on Friday 24 July after many years of lying derelict. The string ensemble of the fantastic Brighton Youth Orchestra are going to be performing at the opening which will represent a really symbolic coming together of our historic past with our vibrant future. It promises to be a wonderful evening and I
“The Grade II listed “Birdcage” Bandstand is reopening Friday” would urge people to come along and join the celebrations. Finally, with the school holidays rapidly approaching, I would like to flag up some of the activities the Council is putting on for young people across the city. Amongst other things, we are running courses on basketball, bikeability, girls’ football and street dance as well as some free entertainment for children in the city’s local parks. Visit the website: www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/summerfun
009_LS433_celebcity
7/17/09
10:59 AM
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AROUND TOWN 09
sponsored by
Celebcity
with Jo Brooks
The Maccabees entertain; murder’s on the cards; Peter lashes out and Zoe’s expecting week to film an episode of the popular police drama. After a murder on the pier, the action moved to the Pavilion where John Nettles’ Tom Barnaby conducted some interviews in the music room!
Planning a Ball Fantastic news from Brighton residents Norman Cook and Zoe Ball – they’re expecting their second child together. The couple, who met in Ibiza and have been married for 10 years, already have an 8-year-old son Woody, who is said to be so delighted that he’s going to have a new brother or sister that he insisted on ringing Zoe’s dad – Think of a Number’s Johnny Ball – himself to break the news! Congratulations go to the whole family.
Singin’ in the rain This funny weather we’ve been having led to me striking it lucky the other day while having an early supper in Fratelli. I was in there enjoying my pork chop when I noticed a commotion outside in Brighton Square. The Maccabees who’d been booked by Rounder Records to play a gig in the Square were standing looking glum in a torrential downpour. Not wanting to disappoint the numerous fans who’d come down to see them, Fratelli opened their doors and the band came into the restaurant and played a fantastic 45 minute set. The Square was packed with people enjoying the music in the rain!
Murder most foul It’s midsummer and you know what that means… there’s murder on the cards! The cast of Midsomer Murders descended on Brighton last
Andre appalled Katie Price made more waves recently in a television interview with Piers Morgan to discuss her split with husband Peter Andre. During the tearful exchange, Katie told Piers how she lost a baby 10 weeks into a pregnancy just a week before she ran the London Marathon with Peter earlier this year. The couple announced their split less than a month later. In his column in New! magazine, Hove resident Peter expressed dismay that Katie had made the miscarriage public. “By revealing all about the baby, Kate went against everything we said we’d never do,” Pete wrote. ”The miscarriage was a devastating time for us both, but I strongly believe it should have remained private. Unfortunately, what Kate says is out of my control.”
Spotted Spotted in Trevor Sorbie, Canadian boy band Mission District. The five lads were having their hair styled before their gig at Concorde 2.
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com
10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of July 2009 excluding Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers
000_LS433 The Floor Salon
7/15/09
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7/17/09
1:12 PM
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PRIDE 11
Party time Local busineses join in the festivities as Pride celebrations get under way Brighton and Hove is gearing up Image: © ChrisJepson.com for Pride 2009. One of the largest events on the city’s social calendar, Pride will see people from all walks of life come together to celebrate the LGBT community. Latest magazines are proud to be a media partner with Pride for 2009. Elsewhere, local businesses are showing their support too. Established estate agent Corbettlee are a local sponsor and will have a presence throughout the Pride festivities, offering their services to the public. Local eyewear boutique Frames in the Lanes are raising money for the Pride 2009 appeal with a very special competition. Fancy modelling all their promotional material for an entire year and receive fantastic goodies too? Join the crowds and make your way down to The Lanes. Speaking of prizes, there’s the chance to win designer Ralph Lauren sunglasses with local optician David Clulow. If you need some pampering to prepare for all the partying (or to recover afterwards), head to Beautique Brighton and bask in luxury. Bliss! We can’t wait. See you at Pride!
Stay beautiful with fantastic offers on luxury treatments at Beautique Brighton Men and women alike still want to look and feel good in these financially difficult times. Beautique Brighton are here to help, offering amazing, results-driven treatments, with many of their most popular treatments now discounted to just £15. Enjoy an OXYjet facial, known as Europe’s number one facial. Try this treatment for a real solution and proven results. Bask in luxury and lay back and relax with their fantastic body wraps, body re-shaping and massage treatments. Beautique Brighton offer a wide range of great treatments at prices to suit all budgets, from a wax to a real pampering treat. They have a twin room to share a treatment with a loved one or friend, and a party room for exclusive use. There is something for every one for all occasions. Beautique Brighton, 14 Ship Street, Brighton, 01273 711077, www.beautiquebrighton.com TREAT YOURSELF
Fantastic £15 treatments at Beautique Brighton Don’t miss out on this amazing offer The following great treatments at just £15 each • Micro-dermabrasion facial • Oxyjet anti-ageing eye treatment • Oxyjet lip plump “perfect pout” treatment • St tropez tan • Express manicure • Brazilian wax • Hollywood wax • Back wax
Offer starts 28th July 2009 to end of September 2009 Beautique Brighton 14 Ship Street Brighton BN1 1AD 01273 711077
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Special offer price for teeth whitening ÂŁ299
Also, ask about our special discounted prices for Invisalign – invisible braces
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14 PRIDE
Win a pair of Ralph Lauren sunglasses This week, the Latest have teamed up with David Clulow Opticians to offer you a great prize. We’re giving away a fantastic pair of Ralph Lauren aviator-style sunglasses worth £149. To be in with a chance to win, just tell us: Which brand of designer sunglasses are we giving away? See below for entry details. Even if you’re not the lucky winner, you can still get a great pair of shades or glasses at excellent prices, as David Clulow are offering a 15% discount on sunglasses and spectacles for Latest readers during the Pride festivities from 21 July to 2 August. Just quote ‘The Latest offer’ when purchasing glasses at David Clulow. David Clulow Opticians Brighton is a one stop shop for your designer eyewear needs. They have a large selection of designer spectacles and sunglasses including brands such as Chanel, Prada, Tom Ford and Ray Ban.They also provide a full range of optical services, including sight testing, contact lens fitting, can also make spectacles in one hour for a large range of prescriptions and carry out some spectacle repairs. David Clulow welcome enquiries on all aspects of eye care and eyewear, particularly if you are having difficulty in finding the right pair of glasses for you. David Clulow, 25 East Street, BN1 1HL Send your answer, your name and contact details to competitions@thelatest.co.uk with David Clulow in the subject line and your answer in the body of the email. Alternatively write your answer on a postcard and send it to the address at the front of Latest 7. The competition closes on Monday 3 August. Please note: The special Pride discount offer is not in conjunction with any other offer.
Get in the picture for the chance to be the face of Frames in the Lanes this Pride If you think you’ve got specs appeal, then here is your chance to find a little bit of SPECS fame as the face of Frames in APPEAL the Lanes, Brighton’s hippest eyewear retailer. Not only could your image be used in their promotional materials for a year, there are great prizes up for grabs, plus a chance to help raise money for charity. The competition launched on Friday 9 July and is open to everyone over the age of eighteen. All you need to do is go into the shop on Meeting House Lane and have your photo taken wearing some designer frames. For every entry Frames in the Lanes will donate £1.00 to the Pride 2009 appeal. Frames in the Lanes, 12c Meeting House Lane, Brighton, tel: 01273 747769. More info at www.framesinthelanes.com
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PRIDE 15
Happy house Corbettlee offer advice on sales and lettings at this year’s Pride Corbettlee, one of Brighton and Hove’s busiest independent estate agents are very pleased to be a corporate sponsor of Pride in Brighton and Hove for 2009. As a locally owned and independent business they felt it important to offer local sponsorship as other corporate sponsors include Barclays and Unison. Pride in Brighton and Hove is one of Europe’s largest and most successful Pride events, attracting attention from the world press and viewed by millions of people. A specialist in all aspects of residential sales and lettings, Corbettlee cover all areas from Shoreham to Saltdean and work hard to support not just the LGBT community but all the diverse cultures that make Brighton and Hove the fantastic place it is.
The Corbettlee team will be in Preston Park for all of the celebrations over Pride weekend. To discuss any elements of sales or lettings feel free to grab a member of the team on the day. Alternatively they can be contacted on 01273 358855 or visit www.corbettlee.com
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GAY LISTINGS 17
Gay listings Tuesday 21 July to Monday 27 July Tuesday 21 Amsterdam Tuesday Social. Chase away the Monday blues. 7pm, free Brighton Tavern Games Galore. Sticking it to maturity. 12pm, free Charles Street Bar Two’s Company. A double dose of cabaret. 9pm, free Ghetto Quiz Alicious and Twisted Karaoke. Hosted by Mistress Cat. 8pm, free Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday. Bar open 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Drag King Night. Relax with a handsome king. 8pm, free Queen’s Arms Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free Revenge Sound as a Pound. A mid-week mash-up. 10.30pm, £1 The Basement Scene Queen. DJ Lil’ Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free
Wednesday 22 Amsterdam Student Karaoke. 8pm, free Brighton Tavern Wednesday’s Wine Club. 12pm, free Ghetto Transition. DJ Peter Von Sleaze spins rock, metal and 80s. 10pm, £2.50 Legends Gabbi’s Fun and Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm.11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre In-house Darts League. 8pm, £3 Queen’s Arms Pride’s Got Talent – Final Heat. Pitting Brighton’s most talented players against each other. 12pm–1am, free R-Bar Midweek Chill. DJ Lil’ Alex spins on the decks plus a 99p bar rush! 12pm, free Revenge London to Brighton. Bringing the upfront house sounds of London ‘Taaahn’ to Brighton. 10.30pm–3am, £4/2 The Basement Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free
Thursday 23 Charles Street Bar & Club Mad Cow XXL – My Cow is on Fire. DJs Lil’ Alex and LeeRoy spinning funky house. 8pm–3am, £1 Ghetto HDSM. Hard, dirty sexy music. 10pm, £4/3 Marlborough Bar and Theatre Open Mic Night. Hosted by Lucy Checkley. 9pm, free Queen’s Arms See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-Bar Pre-Girls on Top Party. Verity sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free Revenge Girls on Top. Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll.10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30pm with passes, £4/5 after The Basement DLite. Commercial house tracks. 11pm–4am, free
Friday 24 Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies. Bar open 11am, free Charles Street Club Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 Doctor Brightons Flauncy Friday. 9.30pm–2am, free Ghetto Popstarz. Indie. 10pm, free b4 11pm Legends Pre-Celebration. Pure Pop. 7pm, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Girl’s Night. 2 floors of mayhem with guest DJs. 8pm, free Montpelier Hall Pride Garden Party. Hosted by Ms Maisie Trollette, featuring Fake Bush and those ever popular buff barmen! 7pm–10pm, £10. Queen’s Arms Camp Attack. Definitive handbag. Plus unlimited drinks wristbands for £20! 9pm R-Bar Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free Revenge Lollipop vs Altitude.Top pop tunes from Stewart T. 10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Girly pop and handbag. 11pm–4am, free
The PV at The Jury’s Out Thank Funk it’s Friday. Funk, disco and retro classics. 12pm.
Saturday 25 Amsterdam Sun Downers + Late Night Bar. Unwind with the best beach house music in town. 8pm–5am, free. Charles Street Club Mardi Gras. A blend of Gogo boys, feathered girls, HRH Queen Josephine and Lil’ Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3. Ghetto Wigout. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. 10pm, free b4 11pm Legends Pre-Ignition. DJs from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Queen Jo at the Marly. HRH Queen Josephine joins the Marlborough for a little funky house fabulousness. 9pm, free Queen’s Arms Cabaret: Trudi Styles + Karaoke. (3.30pm–5.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin ‘til midnight! Bar open 12pm, free R-Bar Kinky Classics. From 9pm with Dulcie Danger. Bar open 12pm–7am, free Revenge Kinky Dangerous. Two top DJs, two floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 5.5 hours of frolics.10.30pm–4am, £7/3 St George's Church The Last Resort. An evening of music and cabaret with Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus. 7.30pm, £10/8. The Basement Ignition. Funky house and chart remixes from DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free The PV at The Jury's Out Pride Table Football Tournament 3pm, £5 Per Team. The PV at The Jury’s Out Booty Call. DJ Rascall spins some body shakin’ summer rollers. 12pm, free. The Zone Presents... Sally Vate. The international drag artist. 9.30pm, free Vavoom Pride Bar Boy Auction. Buy a bar boy!! 4pm-6am, free. Waterhall National 5-a-Side Gay Football Tournament. Ford and Pride in Brighton & Hove join forces to kick off the weeks festivities! 10am-5pm, free.
Sunday 26 Amsterdam Sunday Lunch and Connie’s Karaoke. Roast then karaoke from 8pm. 12pm–1am, free Audio Sunday Sundae. Disco tinged classic dance with Kate Wildblood and co. 6pm, £5/3 Charles Street Bar Showtime. It’s those two leather lads who like to tickle the ivories, 7.15pm, free Devil's Dyke Trans Picnic. Meet at Brighton Pier at 11:15. 11.15am–6pm, £2. Ghetto Nervous Twitch. Fresh krunked up electro fashion party. 9pm, free. Legends Sunday Cabaret with Lizzie Drip. 3.15pm, free Queen’s Arms Cabaret: Drag With No Name and Karaoke. (5.30pm). 12pm, free R-Bar Sublime Sundays and Barmy Bingo. 12pm–2am, free Revenge Rainbow Beats. Funky house beats with a spanish twist. 10.30pm–4am, £tbc. The Basement Fever. Disco and pop remixes. 11pm–4am, free Yellow Wave Beach Sports Complex Beach Volleyball Tournament.12pm-4pm, £50 Per Team.
Monday 27 Amsterdam Funky Mondays. 12pm, free Charles Street Club Studio 150. 10pm–2am, £1.50 Ghetto Frat Party. Indie, electro and pop 10pm, £1.50 Legends Dave Lynn and Friends. 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Trans Night. Hosted with the Clare Project. 8.30pm, free Queen’s Arms Skint + Karaoke. 12pm–1am R-Bar Miss Jason’s Madhouse. Cabaret, a Wii Zone and free pool! 10pm, free
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18 HEALTH
Natural instinct The same rules apply for men and women when it comes to skin care It’s never been easier to buy a gift for a male friend or relative. Gone are the days of the socks and T-shirt combo. Today, men’s products have increased prominence alongside their female counterparts. Shopping online for products sees a section of a website devoted to men’s skin care. It’s easier than ever to maintain a healthy, well groomed lifestyle, as products cater for each individual. Walk into Superdrug and expect to find a great selection of men’s products in store. It’s not just the all-essential shaving creams and deodorants. Big brand names have specialist ranges in body lotions and moisturisers solely aimed at the male market. Firstly, men’s skin is about 20 per cent thicker than women’s. Men also (sorry ladies) have more elastin and collagen meaning Win! Men’s their skin is firmer. You may think this means less anti-ageing and skincare products skin care products are needed. worth over £100 What it does mean is a need for a different type of product. Men’s Latest 7 has teamed up with skin is prone to dehydration from Aroma Therapeutics regular shaving so a rich (www.aroma.co.uk) to give you moisturiser helps keep it the chance to win some fabulous replenished. products from their About Face A natural product will stop the range in a package worth over skin becoming overloaded with £100! The product range is different ingredients containing formulated specifically for men chemicals – meaning you are and uses only the finest natural unlikely to have a reaction such ingredients. For a chance to win as a rash. After loading the skin the About Face Shaving Gel with shaving gel and washing (£40) and Skin Revitaliser with soap, the combination of (£69), just tell us: What regular products are already taking their activity means that men’s skin is toll. Avoid using a bar of soap on prone to dehydration? the face as these can be harsh on To win, email: the skin. Opt for gentle cleansers, competitions@thelatest.co.uk natural ingredient moisturisers with ‘About Face’ in the subject and soothing shaving gels, such line. Alternatively, write to us at as Aroma Therapeutic’s fantastic the address in the front of the About Face range magazine. Don’t forget to leave (www.aroma.co.uk, tel: 01458 831 your name, address and 216 for stockists). telephone number. Closing date: Identify your skin type: dry, Monday 3 August. oily, combination, sensitive and tailor your regime to this. Toners will keep pores unclogged of dirt and help the skin remain firm. Before venturing out, use a moisturiser with an SPF of 15 or above to prevent sun damage. Find the products that work for you and stick to these in a regular routine; it’s better for your skin in the long run. Words: Zara Baker. Research: Alice Bennington
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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 19
Food & drink Andrew Kay revisits the award-winning Anise andrew@thelatest.co.uk
All’s fine fter a steamy morning in Ardingly at the South of England Show I picked up Mr R and we headed up to Felbridge. It had been an early start with me arriving at the showground for 7.30am, eating a hearty breakfast and then having a good look around at the exhibits. Top marks to the livestock and to the Women’s Institute tea and cakes. Which of course left me too hungry for lunch but by that evening gasping for dinner. We were booked into the Felbridge Hotel and Spa and their excellent award-winning Anise restaurant, and by the time we had taken advantage of the pool and gym I was more than ready for dinner. Last time I visited we were blown away by the quality of both the cooking and by the service. With expectations already high I was indeed prepared for a fall, how could they sustain such standards? But I need not have worried, at Anise all was as good, if not better than before. The chef and his team spend a great deal of time sourcing local produce. It’s a claim made by many but here they actually give you a list of where they shop, a very thorough list. I could do nothing to resist the salad of Portland crab starter which was so perfectly seasoned it made me grin from ear to ear. Sitting the salad on the lightest, most delicate cucumber jelly took both the dish and me to the next level of bliss. To accompany it a cup of crab soup was, dare I say it, even better. The lotus root crisps added a pleasant crunch and the pickled cucumber salad a cleansing lift. Mr R, fired up by an excellent marguerita at the bar, started with an amazing dish of pigeon with a fabulous canneloni filled with rich chopped meat. It was a big dish, disproving that all fine dining is dolly sized and dainty. Needless to say he made light work of it. This was a ripping start, could they keep this up? Well clearly they could as my lamb dish was to prove. I love offal so a combination of poached lamb fillet served with kidneys and tongue hit all the right notes. The rich earthy flavours of the offal balanced by the sweet and meltingly tender fillet worked in every sense, the sauce was perfectly made and balanced and the accompanying vegetables more than mere garnish. There were enough perfect broad beans for me to keep going back to rather than the parsimonious sprinkling so common these days.
A
Mr R had pork belly, cheek and ear. And again he had chosen a mighty rib sticking dish. Okay, it might look pretty on the plate but these were dense succulent slices of meat each cooked to perfection. He didn’t need to speak, his face said it all. To finish he wasted no time in electing the peanut parfait with chocolate sorbet. It was pretty in every sense, to look at and to taste, and again it was served in a quantity that was not going to disappoint. I chose the most unusual sounding dessert – an olive oil and pistachio sponge served with a roast fig, a pear poached with saffron and a goat’s cheese sorbet. Yes, it was out there in terms of invention, and it could so easily have been a disaster, a lot of flavours on the one plate and all that. It was of course sublime, really magical and I slowed to a snail’s pace to savour every last morsel. The cake was amazing, the fig divine, the sorbet surprising but the pear was perfection, tender, slightly sweet and just the right amount of musky saffron. To finish, great coffee came with equally spectacular petit four. Full marks to Anise once again for food that pushes the boundaries without scaring the diners and nor does the price at £25 head for three courses. Anise at The Felbridge Hotel and Spa, London Road, East Grinstead, West Sussex, RH19 2BH, 01342 337700 www.felbridgehotel.co.uk
“Full marks to Anise for food that pushes the boundaries without scaring the diners”
We are one of the best leading buffet restaurants in Brighton, situated on the prominent London Road opposite St Peters Church, just 5 minutes walk from the railway station. With the most affordable and unbeatable prices, you'll enjoy plenty of dishes from the Orient, whose cuisine we have specialised in for over 10 years. We offer Seafood, Aromatic Crispy Duck, Japanese Sushi and Teppanyaki, Salad Bar and Ice Cream Corner. With over 50 items for lunch and 70 for dinner, and our attentive and friendly service at all times, we look forward to welcoming you in the near future.
Unbeatable Summer Offer Lunch Mon-Sat £5.99 Evenings & all day Sunday £6.99
Valid until 15 August
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20 FOOD
Dining deals More fabulous food offers – right across the city! With everyone keeping an eye on the purse strings right now many restaurants are continuing to offer great deals on meals. It’s nothing new, many restaurants have been providing bargain menus for many years, and very popular they are too, especially when you are on a budget. The news is that the fashion has spread, so as well as all our old favourite set menu haunts – the places that we know and love – we are now seeing bargain menus across the board, from family restaurants right through to the smarter end of the market. The credit crunch may well have hit hard but right now, with brilliant offers from such a wide range of restaurants, the time is right to get out there and sample some of the best cooking in town at unbeatable prices. In fact set price menus have become so popular that they are likely to stay which is why here at Latest 7 we will be offering a great list of offers and dining deals as a regular monthly feature. This will be the place to find out where the hottest food bargains are to be found. If you have a restaurant that is offering diners great deals then why not get in touch with Rachel at Latest 7 to find out how to promote them here. Call her now on 01273 818150 extension 105.
“Bargain food offers at our favourite restaurants”
What more could a man ask for? Well I was tempted to ask for more. 9 Bar may well think it is a café by day or a bar even but with a chef as accomplished as this, by night it is a restaurant of note and I urge you to get down there pretty damn fast. Andrew Kay - food & wine critic
£10 for 3 courses • Diners must produce this voucher (4 persons max) • Includes Eat as much as you like hot buffet • Offer available Sunday to Wednesday inclusive • Lunch and Dinner untill the 31st of August
www.balibrasserie.co.uk Tel: 01273 323810 Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove, BN3 2LR
barneys @ home
Free bottle of wine with any delivery order over £20.
ing diners g r e f
t deals? rea
Are you o f
Coming soon to Brighton: restaurant food delivered direct to you. Call now for info: 01273 720058 or email barneyshove@gmail.com
Get in touch with Rachel at Latest 7 to find out how.
Call 01273 818150 Ext 105 or e-mail rachelb@thelatest.co.uk
!
W hy w not no k let them
The Chilli Pickle £10 thali & a pint Monday, Wednesday and Thursday lunch we are offering any thali plus a crisp pint of Kingfisher or a glass of house wine or soft drink for £10 Kathmandu Goat Curry, Paneer Tikka Masala, Bengali fish curry, Allepey Coconut & Vegetable Stew and Fragrant Chicken Korma all served with baby naan, dal, rice, veg and pickle The Chilli Pickle, 2 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, BN11HB
tel: 01273 323 824
EAT OUT FOR £5 at 01273 775477
01273 325135
01273 677676
01273 730355
Special 2 course menu for £5 with this voucher - please request this menu on arrival One voucher per 2 people, Monday - Thursday inclusive. 10% service will be added. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.
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FOOD 21 We are doing a ‘Celebrate 25 years menu'
2 courses for 2 for £ 25
and for £30 includes a bot tle of ho use wine Available everyday til 7pm throughout July and August. Gars is located in the heart of The Lanes and although 25 years old the décor is very modern with bamboo flooring, bespoke silk shades and stylish leather wall panelling to compliment the modern and authentic mix of asian cuisine. Quick fried squid in salt and chilli, sesame prawns on toast, steamed seabass in ginger and spring onions and drunken chicken are just a few of the items on the ‘Celebrate 25 menu.’ Gars Restaurant, 19 Prince Albert Street, BN1 1HF
www.gars.co.uk
Tel:01273 321 321
Combining locally sourced produce with French cuisine. Complimented by impeccable service at affordable prices.
SAMPLE DAILY MENU French onion soup * Fresh Salmon tartare Locally caught Pollok a la catalane Sussex lamb chops in Thyme jus tomate provencale Crème caramel * Chocolate mousse * Amaretto ice cream FRI & SAT: 2-course menu £14.50 * 3-course menu £16.50 SUN TO THURS: 2-course menu £10.50 * 3-course menu £12.50
10%
t Discoun with this advert
SOME SIGNATURE DISHES FROM THE A LA CARTE MENU Fole gras de canard with warm toast £9.50 British porterhouse steak * Chips, Béarnaise or garlic butter: £12.95 Smoked Haddock fishcake & baby spinach: £10.50 Our famous Crème Brulée: £4.50 Tarte tatin & Calvados crème fraiche: £4.50
10/11 New Steine Hotel, Brighton BN2 1PB 01273 681546 / 695415 www.newsteinehotel.com reservation@newsteinehotel.com
£20 for 3
courses from the a la carte menu Located at the Seven Dials roundabout 1 Buckingham Place, Brighton 01273 885555 www.sevendialsrestaurant.co.uk TERMS: *offer available until 31st July 2009 *offer entitles a starter, main and pudding per person from the a la carte menu *diners must bring in this voucher *not available Saturday nights *offer valid for tables of up to 9 people *small supplements may apply to a few dishes
Zamdani is rated as one of the best by the locals for its high quality of food, bright, modern surroundings and attentive staff. A starter of Murug 65 is excellent and unique to Zamdani. Special offer of £9.95 for a two course meal and 10% discount on takeaways.
Are you offering diners great deals? Why not let them know! Get in touch with Rachel at Latest 7 to find out how.
216 Church Road, Brighton, BN3 2DJ
Tel:0871 2071947
Call 01273 818150 Ext 105 or e-mail rachelb@thelatest.co.uk
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22 HOT LIST
latest hot
LIST
£1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058 Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!
9 Bar Café
RESTAURANTS & BARS
Chimney House
Restaurants British and modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit – they do the best chips ever tasted and appear to have already acquired several celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk
Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton BN1 4JN, 01273 681256
Barney’s Come and sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for
With a stylish, cosy interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu includes locallycaught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a light lunch and glass of wine or a hearty three-course dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708 www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
The Dorset A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best peoplewatching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of home-cooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Mary’s are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423
Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95, wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059
Preston Park Tavern A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere.
Locals and foodies mix in this familyfriendly pub. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk
Chinese Gars Restaurant This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk Chimney House
French The Arrogant Frog Brasserie Now relocated in the heart of Brighton, on the seafront. The new menu offers brunch, lunch, tea and dinner from 11am to 11pm, seven days a week. They’ve gone more mainstream but some old favourites remain, along with the French specials. Pop in for a croque monsieur and coffee during the day, or treat yourself to a cocktail – they have over 30 on the menu. Parties of all sizes can be catered for. 64 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NA, 01273 721488
Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie just down from Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the promises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads. Eat in or take away, there’s also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412
New Steine Bistro This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £10.50 for two courses, 12.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £14.50 for two courses, £16.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 & 11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546 / 695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/ restaurant.asp
L’Église Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an
To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest hot list call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105
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HOT LIST 23 Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the two-course lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868 www.legliserestaurant.co.uk
wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat, and a ‘light bites’ menu. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
Chaula’s Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a
Italian
Become a Moshi member online www.moshimoshi.co.uk and get special discounts. Follow them on Twitter and Facebook. Moshi Moshi, Opticon, The Lanes, Bartholomew Square, Brighton BN1 1JS, 01273 719195
Donatello
The Chilli Pickle
Indian
teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824 www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national award-winning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose
Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Fat Leo The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature setprice boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk
Japanese Moshi Moshi
Spinelli Coffee
Described by The Times as having a “fanatical following,” Moshi Moshi has become one of the leading restaurants on the South Coast, popular for its fresh, handmade sushi.
Thai Sabai Filled with stylish Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui and the restaurants of Bangkok. Browse the extensive menu of unique dishes and sample a cocktail or a bottle of wine from the comprehensive list. Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners. “Sanuk!” 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com
Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
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latest
01273 687171
musicbar
open until 2.30am every night!
The city’s magical live music and party venue tues 21 july
upstairs:
downstairs:
the musicians union presents getting more publicity:
the fatigue
a guide to press, pr and marketing. 6pm till 8pm. free admission to musicians union members £10 to non-members
this show has now been cancelled
wed 22 july
brain pop featuring the beautiful word Expect songs about love, heartbreak and animals + Yokoko + Robyn Platt. 8pm. £5/4conc
thurs 23 july
carbonzeromuzik & c2 presents
footprints
feat robin scott
it’s a party with a positive message. go carbon neutral! join the party, leave no trace!
7.30pm. show starts 8.30pm. £7.50
FREE ADMISSION For TWO to any gig in July with this voucher*
01273 687171 or just come! *
subject to space
diana frangi exhibition brighton rock photographer diana frangi’s exhibition of brighton musical personalities including fatboy slim, the maccabees, herbie flowers, the perils, chris difford, al perkins and many more. free and open all hours!
the international band of mystery
PARTIES
enter into the spirit and come dressed in your finest 60s/70s gear. yeah, baby! positively shagadelic.
now booking parties
8pm. show starts 9pm. £6/5
&
fri 24 july
downstairs:
come on down to motown!
civil partnerships,
big wheels revue presents the rubber band brothers and sisters
birthdays…
there will also be guest spot vocals from the best of brighton’s talent, followed by a motown dj.
…for the funkiest events call 01273 687171 and book the venue for
sat 25 july
downstairs:
8pm til late. £7.50/£7 advance
sun 26 july
*26th july to 1st aug pride week* roast’n’ jazz delicious dinners & tunes from jazz, soul & blues 12.30pm–3.30pm £6.50
weddings,
downstairs: 'the golden girls of pride - lee tracey meets maisie trollette' 7pm. show starts 7.30pm. £7.50/£6. this is an adult event; strictly over 18s only.
upstairs:
nick howard having opened for jack johnson, amongst others, nick's energetic performances are passionate and soulful. + leah mason
7pm. show starts 7.30pm. £4/3
FREE• •subject to conditions
mon 27 july
breakthrough with
musiccafe
rough trade
open
the best breaking acts around plus djs
7.30pm til 12.00pm. £5/£4 nus
for breakfast, lunch & dinner
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar 14 – 17 manchester street, brighton go to our website bn2 1tf. 100 metres up from the pier for tickets & listings
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LATEST LISTINGS 25
latest listings
YOUR WEEKLY GUIDE TO WHAT’S ON 21 – 27 JULY Under review Here’s our roundup of recent local shows, plus there’s oodles of reviews online at www.thelatest.co.uk
which didn’t blend as well as the first, but it’s a preview and a friendly crowd so he’s forgiven with smiles. Pavilion Theatre, 9 July
Theatre Royal, 13 July
★★★★✩ Andrew Kay Julian Clary – Lord Of The Mince Julian is now 50. He makes sure we know this in the first half of
this preview show, as he’s younger than his neighbour Paul O’Grady – ’he's on TV every day you know,’ under breath muttering – but made it longer than the King of Pop. Obvious set-ups, signposted innuendo, high camp – it’s all here but it’s what Mr Clary is known for and he doesn’t disappoint. Like a late night ITV1 special, he’s friendly with a touch of the risqué. The second half saw him trying out a spot of mind-reading
Dinner Ladies WIth a talent like that of Victoria Wood this should have been a veritable feast of humour. Her observational skills are so acute, her comic timing masterly and her sense of place and of spirit so refined. But this was no feast. On a wobbly set with a group of actors (cast seemingly because they bore some resemblance to the members of the original TV cast) what we received was less appetising than warmed up leftovers. The two original cast members were late and curtain up was delayed but even they could do nothing to save the day. Sadly I broke my rule of sitting things out and I left at the half. As a consequence I am unable to give a star rating but I will leave you to guess what I might have awarded had I suffered to the end.
Great summer blockbusters!
28 Comedy There’s a funny story to be told
28 Art Celebrating Sussex art in Artwave
29 Kids & events Take a leap for charity, plus a mad tea party
30 Music Music with climate change in mind
33 Clubs Best hat wins a bottle!
34 Television Pass the remote
Andrew Kay
Sarah Millican – Typical Woman This Edinburgh preview was like a friend suddenly turning up with your favourite pick ‘n’ mix before you’d even discovered pick ‘n’ mix. Pure unadulterated sweet indulgence. The jokes were bang on and her persona as likeable as ever with a mixture of ‘cup of tea and a Jammy Dodger’ and carefully timed crudities. The show was about reclaiming a phrase that’s now become an insult – ‘typical woman,’ and ‘man,’ and what these really are. In the battle of the sexes you’d do well to pay mind to Sarah Millican and throw any idea of a winner out the window. This was good intelligent belly-aching fun.. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 11 July
Latest Music Bar, 10 June
★★★★★
27 Film
Theatre Royal, 6 July
This is Stand-Up Comedy: A fundraiser for the National Autistic Society Six comics deliver fast lines and sketches in five-ten minutes. Too much? No sireee. This fastpaced formula worked wickedly well with different personalities and humours guaranteeing chuckles galore. The gig kicked off with Norwegian comic Marie Vagen who chirpily compered, presenting smiling, ’happy’ Felicity, a laddish Andy Bryant and morose Rich Heap. The second half saw Paul ’good’ Beckett, sexy ‘convent girl’ Kerry Herbert and a charming Rich Perry. Lead act, Gerry Howell, dubbed the next Eddie Izzard, took to the stage with a sketch on Napoleon Bonaparte. A little too much frantic walking around the stage but hey, the man’s compared to Izzard, not Chaplin. Top, top night: recommended.
Hot review of the week
Win tickets to Last Night of the Poms
★★★★✩ Victoria Nangle
Spider’s Web Dripping style and period charm this witty dramatisation conjured humour from Agatha Christie’s own words. The nuances, social airs and wild snobbery make for good laughs and the director and cast certainly played the game. Not by mugging but by playing it straight, well fairly, and allowing us to find the giggles. A great set and costumes and a curtain that rose and fell established that period feel too. Denis Lill was deadpan to great comic effect, Catherine Shipton brilliantly gauche but top marks go to Bruce Montague and Robert Duncan whose eccentric capers were perfectly pitched. A thoroughly enjoyable night at the theatre.
26 Stage
★★★★✩ Victoria Nangle
Monica Perdoni
Bruno p27
For complete and comprehensive listings go to thelatest.co.uk
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26 STAGE
Win Dame Edna tickets Dame Edna Everage joins Sir Les Patterson and Carl Davies at The Last Night Of The Poms dna Everage rose from housewife to superstar and from superstar to Dame in a whirlwind of admiration that has given her iconic status. Edna is a plain speaking Aussie legend, a woman of the people, a pioneering entertainer, a liberationist and a national treasure. For years her quizzical grin, her tales of Madge the bridesmaid, Kenny her ‘unmarried’ son and Valmai her awkward daughter have had audiences on the brink of knicker-wetting hysteria. Her beleaguered husband Norm has sadly passed on, but how long can a man survive with a dicky prostate? Still the Moonee Ponds diva bravely presses on with her mission to educate and cultivate the world.
E
Running a parallel career is her nemesis Sir Lesley Patterson, Australia’s Number One Cultural Supremo. Sir Les is a politician and has had many important and influential roles for his native country, including Chairman of the Australian Cheese Board, Minister Of The Yarts (arts) and Minister for Sport with special responsibility to keep sports rampantly heterosexual and "blokey". Together they have for decades brought Australian culture to Britain and for years we have soaked it up. Now Dame Edna returns with her show Last Night Of The Poms – a unique collaboration between Dame Edna, Sir Les and composer and conductor Carl Davies. Carl Davis CBE has composed all of the music, and will be conducting the
Stage listings Tuesday 21 July to Monday 3 August
orchestras that will be the backdrop to all of Dame Edna Everage and Sir Les Patterson’s performances. Davis is a worldrenowned composer and conductor and believes that all music has an important place in the world. He has worked on numerous film and TV scores, that included Chaplin’s ‘Mutuals,’ released numerous best selling CDs and DVDs, as well as composing and conducting music for special events such as the 150th anniversary of the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra, where he worked with Sir Paul McCartney. In Brighton they will be joined on stage for The Last Night Of The Poms by the Royal Philharmonic Concert Orchestra and choir. Sir Les will be reviving Peter And The Shark, a parody on Prokofiev’s Peter And The Wolf. This time in a different guise, Peter is a bronzed surfer played on a piccolo trumpet, his friend is now a laughing kookaburra played on a soprano saxophone, and the duck has become a duck-billed platypus whose pleasant theme is played on the bassoon! Davies says: “This unique collaboration between myself and Barry Humphries was
this world premiere from the pen of comedywriting legend Roy Clarke OBE. • 21 July–8 August, 7.45pm plus Wed & Sat 2.30pm, no Sunday performances, £13.50–£19.50
Eastbourne: Congress Theatre Chichester Festival Theatre 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Oklahoma The story of an Oklahoma farm girl, Laurey, who is forced to choose between Curly, the happy-go-lucky cowboy she loves, and Judd, the mysterious loner she fears. • 21 July–29 August, 7.30pm please check with venue to confirm, £12–36 The House of Special Purpose The story of the deposed Russian Tsar and his family as they are held captive by communist soldiers in postrevolution Russia. • 21 July–22 August, Minerva Theatre, 7.45pm please check with venue to confirm, £26.50 Grapes of Wrath An adaptation of John Steinbeck’s epic novel about a family of Oklahomans who lose everything after a drought leads to their eviction and forces them
to move west toward California in search of stability and a home. • 21 July–28 August, Minerva Theatre, 7.45pm please check with venue to confirm, £10–36. ENRON The World Premiere of Lucy Prebble’s play about one of corporate history’s most infamous scandals. • 21 July–29 August, Minerva Theatre, 7.45pm please check with venue to confirm, £26.50
Eastbourne: Devonshire Park Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Last of the Summer Wine A stage version of the beloved BBC classic. Ruth Madoc (Hi-Di-Hi) leads a cast which also includes; Tony Adams (Crossroads) and Steven Pinder (Brookside) in
01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk The Producers The Producers is a musicalcomedy based on the Mel Brooks 1968 film of the same name. The story concerns two theatrical producers who scheme to get rich by overselling interests in a Broadway flop. The result is an outrageous production called ‘Springtime For Hitler’ which offends everyone, and so upsets no-one! • 22 July–1 August, 7.30pm plus Thurs 30 July, Sat 25 July & Sat 1 August 2.30pm, £10–£14.50
Theatre Royal 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal The Winslow Boy When Ronnie Winslow, a fourteen year-old Cadet, is expelled from Naval
written as a parody on the Proms. Barry and I have waited 28 years to do this concert again, Dame Edna and Sir Les never disappoint.” Dame Edna Everage, The Last Night Of The Poms Friday 18 September, The Brighton Centre 0844 847 1515 and www.brightoncentre.co.uk
Competition To be in with a chance of winning one of three pairs of tickets to Last Night of The Poms, just tell us: Which Australian town is Dame Edna from? To enter email: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the words Dame Edna in the subject box. Alternatively write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date: Monday 10 August.
College after being accused of stealing a fiveshilling postal order, his father is convinced of his innocence. Determined to clear his son’s name, he employs Sir Robert Morton, the outstanding attorney of the day. But as the entire family becomes embroiled in the battle for justice against the Establishment, there is a huge price to be paid by them all. • 21 July–25 July, 7.45pm plus Thurs & Sat 2.30pm, £18–£30
Highdown Gardens – Open Air Theatre, Worthing 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Rainbow Shakespeare: Love’s Labours Lost Four young men swear to give up women and study, when four young women appear. In a great outdoor summer location. • 21 July–26 July, 7.30pm (gates open at 6.30pm for picnics) plus Sat and Sun 2pm (gates open at 1pm for picnics), £12.
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www.odeon.co.uk
0871 224 4007 Tuesday 21 BRUNO (18) 11.30, 1.30, 4.00, 5.00, 6.15, 7.00, 8.30, 9.15 RACHEL GETTING MARRIED (15) 9.05 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 12.45, 3.30, 7.00; 2D: 11.45am, 2.00, 6.15 TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 11.45am, 2.45, 9.00 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 12.00, 1.00, 1.45, 2.15, 3.45, 4.30, 5.15, 5.45, 8.00. 8.45, 9.30
Wednesday 22 BRUNO (18) 11.30, 1.30, 4.00, 5.00, 6.15, 7.00. 8.30, 9.15 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 12.00, 1.00, 1.45, 2.15, 3.45, 4.30, 5.15, 5.45, 7.15, 8.00. 8.45, 9.30 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 3D: 12.45, 3.30, 7.00; 2D:11.45, 2.00 TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 11.45am
THE PROPOSAL (12A) 2.45, 6.45, 9.05 THE HANGOVER (15) 9.05
Thursday 23 BRUNO (18) 11.30, 1.30, 4.00, 5.00, 6.15, 7.00. 8.30, 9.15 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 12.00, 1.00, 1.45, 2.15, 3.45, 4.30, 5.15, 5.45, 7.15, 8.00. 8.45, 9.30 THE HANGOVER (15) 9.05 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 12.45, 3.30, 7.00; 2D: 11.45am, 2.00 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 2.45, 6.45, 9.05 DUPLICITY (12A) 10.30 TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 11.45
Films showing Fri 24–Mon 27 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM TIMES
www.picturehouses.co.uk
01273 626261 Tuesday 21
Friday 24
35 SHOTS OF RUM (15) 3.30, 8.30 ENCOUNTERS AT THE END OF THE WORLD (U) 11am KATYN (18) 1.00 SLEEP FURIOUSLY (U) 6.00
ANTICHRIST (18) 3.30, 8.30,11pm MONSTERS VS ALIENS (PG) 11.00am MOON (15) 1.00, 6.00
Wednesday 22 35 SHOTS OF RUM (15) 3.30, 8.30 ENCOUNTERS AT THE END OF THE WORLD (U) 11am KATYN (18) 6.00 SLEEP FURIOUSLY (U) 1.00
Thursday 23 35 SHOTS OF RUM (15) 3.30, 8.30, KATYN (18) 1.00 MOMMA’S MAN (15) 6.00
Saturday 25 ANTICHRIST (18) 4.00, 9.00 MONSTERS VS ALIENS (PG) 11.00am MOON (15) 3.30, 6.30
Sunday 26 ANTICHRIST (18) 4.00, 9.00 MOON (15) 1.30, 6.30 STRAWBERRY AND CHOCOLATE (FRESA Y CHOCOLATE) (18) 11.00am
Monday 27 ANTICHRIST (18) 3.30, 8.30 MONSTERS VS ALIENS (PG) 11.00am MOON (15) 1.00, 6.00
www.cineworld.co.uk
0871 200 2000
L7 lowdown What’s on this week
Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince (12A) Dir: David Yates Teenage hormones are bubbling over along with the potions of Hogwarts as our leading trio find they’ve got more to battle with than Voldemort’s ever-growing presence in the world, although that is troubling them too. With star turns from Daniel Radcliffe, Michael Gambon, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Jim Broadbent. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Connaught Bruno (18) Dir: Larry Charles The latest from the stable of outrageous characters brought to us by Sacha Baron Cohen. Bruno is an outrageously dressed gay European fashionista (check out the velcro outfit). Already there have been more than a couple of column inches in the tabloids dedicated to the response to this controversial comedy. Mockumentary mayhem ensues and much egg covers many faces. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (12A) Dir: Michael Bay Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox return to look beautiful, make friends with Autobots and battle evil Decepticons out to destroy the world in some truly awesome big budget blow ups. Joining this pretty crew are Rainn Wilson and Josh Duhamel. Cool. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
Katyn (18) Dir: Andrjez Wajda Nominated for this year’s Academy Award for Best Foreign Film, this is a deeply personal story. Wajda has long wanted to make a film about the mass execution of Polish officers by the Nazis in the early 1940s – one of the dead being his own father. This takes the fictitious stories of four officers and those left behind to tell a tale previously left in the shadows. Showing at Duke Of York’s Strawberry And Chocolate (18) Dir: Tomás Gutiérrez Alea & Juan Carlos Tabío One of the highlights of the Cuban Film Festival, this highly acclaimed movie follows Diego, a cultured young homosexual man in Cuba, who falls for a young heterosexual communist, full of the indoctrination of prejudice. Rejection is followed by suspicion which slowly becomes friendship in this story of two men overcoming intolerance. Showing at Duke Of York’s 35 Shots of Rum (15) Dir: Claire Denis Writer/director Claire Denis presents this French/German hybrid of a film examining familial relationships. Specifically that between a father and daughter and how it is disrupted by the arrival of a handsome young man. Described as ‘ordinarily spellbinding’ by critics, this is captivating and enjoyable. Showing at Duke of York’s
Bruno
Tuesday 21 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.15, 11.00am, 12.30, 1.40, 2.30, 4.00, 5.00, 5.45, 7.30, 8.20, 9.00 BRUNO (18) 4.10, 6.30, 7.10, 8.45,9.30 THE HANGOVER (15) 3.55, 9.15 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 2D (U) 11.10, 1.30 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 10.40, 12.00, 1.00, 2.20, 3.30, 4.40, 6.00, 8.30 PUBLIC ENEMIES (15) 12.50 (AD), 6.20 (AD) TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 1.20, 4.50, 8.10
Wednesday 22 BRUNO (18) 4.10, 6.30, 7.10, 8.45, 9.30 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.15, 11.00, 12.30, 1.40, 2.30, 4.00, 5.00, 5.45, 7.30, 8.20, 9.00 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 2D (U) 11,10, 1.30
ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 10.40, 12.00, 1.00, 2.20, 3.30, 4.40, 6.00, 8.30 THE PROPOSAL (15) 11.30am, 2.00, 4.20, 6.45, 9.15 TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 1.20, 4.50, 8.10
Thursday 23 BRUNO (18) 4.10, 6.30, 7.10, 8.45, 9.30 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.15, 11.00, 12.30, 1.40, 2.30, 4.00, 5.00, 5.45, 7.30, 8.20, 9.00 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 11.10, 1.30 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 10.40, 12.00, 1.00, 2.20, 3.30, 4.40, 6.00, 8.30 THE PROPOSAL (15) 11.30, 2.00, 4.20, 6.45, 9.15 TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 1.20, 4.50, 8.10
Films showing Friday 24–Monday 27 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM TIMES
www.worthingtheatres.co.uk
01903 206206 Tues 21–Mon 27
Tues 21 & Weds 22
HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 12.45, 4.00, 7.30
MY SISTER’S KEEPER (12A) 1.15, 5.00, 8.00 CHECK TO CONFIRM OTHER SHOW TIMES
Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (U) Dir: Carlos Saldanha The prehistoric animation returns. This time it’s more of a family affair, with Manny settling down, and Sid – not wanting to be left out – playing mum to three dinosaur eggs, which is fine, until their real mum shows up. Yikes! Catch it in 3D at certain screenings. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon The Proposal (12A) Dir: Anne Fletcher Sandra Bullock is the kick-ass no nonsense high-powered book editor who always gets her way. Ryan Reynolds is her long-suffering assistant. When she’s threatened with deportation back to her native Canada she tells him that he’s now her fianceé, at which point they try to convince an altogether sceptical world. A fun romcom with a twist on the traditional power roles. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon
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28 STAND-UP COMEDY | ART
A laughing matter Victoria Nangle reckons a funny thing happened... but was it stand-up?
he other week I went on holiday. I know, I’m lucky. Now, I went on holiday to a land that didn’t trade in the Euro or the dollar. This meant it was very hot, quite Muslim and not a lot of other people that looked like me. We were staying quite near a mosque and I kept worrying that I was wearing inappropriate attire. Were my sleeves too short? Should I be wearing a scarf on my head? Were my sandalled feet too flagrant? Alright, I got a little paranoid in my concerns but people were staring at me. The second day of our holiday we went to a Western Quarter where everyone was wearing Western clothes and I looked quite conservative, and STILL people were staring at me. My friend even spotted a mother pointing me out to her child! What the blazes?! And then I remembered... that I am a giant.
T
“Then I remembered...that I am a giant. At over six feet tall and female I’m usually hard to miss” At over six feet tall and female I’m usually hard to miss, and this has been a rich seam of comedic material that I have mined for quite some time. But I’ve gotten used to it, and so have all of my friends, so it really becomes less remarkable until I go to a country where the average male height is around 5’ 5”. I towered over everyone. And I just know that I want to put that in my set somewhere. My anxiety at offending the local community on the entire first day. The lengths I went to to vary my wardrobe. But when it comes down to it, this is just a story. Not stand-up comedy. A lot of people have funny stories but stand-up comedy is chiefly made up of funny observations, comments and beliefs. Small stories can illustrate that, but good storytelling is an art unto itself. It’s not knowing the difference that can lead to great big open spaces of no laughter in a new act’s set. A funny story has detail to add, atmosphere to build and characters to form. You need a patient crowd for that, just as interested in the story as they are in the funny. Comedy audiences want as many laughs as they can get in a minute and don’t want to have to wait long for the next bout to start. And that’s what they’ve paid for. So my story will remain a story. I just hope that the mother who was pointing was encouraging her child to eat up all of his greens. I’d like to think my story had a use somewhere.
☺
Stand-up wisdom: “Hors D’oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.” Jack Benny
Comedy listings Thursday 23
Friday 24
Double Header: Russell Kane & Simon Brodkin A new date for the comedy double bill. Worth the wait. Komedia, 8pm, £12. SHH! It’s Someone, Holland & Hume Geektastic compere Lee Hume reveals his plans to save the world, and dashing curmudgeon Jim Holland remains grimly enthusiastic. Plus, a mystery guest reveals himself. Cella (at Sanctuary Café), 8pm, £5/4.
Krater Comedy Club Stay cool in the Krater’s basement and entertained with the fabulous Steve Williams, Eddy Brimson, Steve Harris and MC Stephen Grant. Also on Saturday at 6pm and 10pm, and Sunday at 7pm. Komedia, 7.30pm, £12.50/10
Saturday 25 The Comedy Station Fantastic comedy with an excellent vibe renowned as fun
to play and be a punter at. By Hove Station. The Station, 8pm, free. The People Vs Stand-up Comedy Too Local comedy talent comes to London Road for free comedy. Moksha Caffe, 8pm, free. International Stand-up Strap yourself in for a night of straight-laced, classic standup, with a sprinkling of the surreal. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 9:30pm, £8/6.
Jo Allen, last year’s Open House winner at Artwave
New wave Artwave is back in August for another celebration of Sussex art Artwave is the annual visual arts festival for the Lewes District in East Sussex, showcasing the inspirational works of local artists and makers in venues across the district. From farmhouses to metal workshops, gardens to industrial sites, visual art is displayed for all to enjoy and the event is a must for any creative diary. The Open House competition sponsored by Lastest 7 invites visitors to vote for the 2009 favourite Artwave venue. The winner will be featured in a subsequent edition of Latest 7. last year’s winner was Jo Allen and you can see her work via www.jo2jo.com Artwave, 29 August–13 September.
Art listings Ditchling Museum Church Lane, Ditchling 01273 844744 Drawn from Ditchling: Portraits from a Sussex Village Portraits from the Museum’s collection – paintings and drawings, caricatures and photographs, word and film – celebrate the artists who have lived in Ditchling as well as local people who have drawn, painted and photographed in this village. • Until December 2009, Tues–Sat 10.30am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm
Hove Museum & Art Gallery New Church Road, Hove Deviants Exhibition of 16 pieces from the Crafts Council’s Collection that deviate wildly from what we think as traditional craft. • Until 13 September
Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens 01273 290900 The American Scene: Prints From Hopper to Pollock 56 modern American artists are featured in this popular exhibition documenting America from the turn of the century to the 1950s. • Until 31 Aug, Tues 10am–7pm, Wed–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm
Latest Music Bar 14–17 Manchester Street Brighton 01273 687171 Diana Frangi Photographic exhibition documenting the Argentinianborn photographer’s love of all things music; from locals The Levellers to Fatboy Slim, The Perils to Herbie Flowers. • Mon–Sun 9am–late
Phoenix Arts Gallery 10–14 Waterloo Place Brighton 01273 603700 Fabric of War Fabric of War records personal and collective histories of conflict, translated into paper from uniforms and monuments. The cathartic artworks of Combat Paper Project are executed by veterans using paper made from uniforms imbued with private memories, while Marshall Weber’s rubbings trace the narrative of war imprinted in its monuments. • Until 16 August, Wed–Sun 11am–5pm
De La Warr Pavilion Bexhill-on-Sea 01424 229111 Beuys Is Here: Sculpture Object Action Revolution Exhibition of sculpture by Joseph Beuys. • Until 27 September, Mon–Fri 10am–5pm
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KIDS & EVENTS | SPORT 29
latest sport
Events highlights
Juice FM’s Tony Marks reviews the latest of Sussex Cricket including a bizarre turn of events for batsman Ed Joyce
ussex batsman Ed Joyce continued his excellent recent form by notching up 13 boundaries on his way to 91 as the Sharks began their defence of the Pro40 title with a four wicket victory over Essex on Monday night. It’s been something of strange week or so for the Irishman after he was the unfortunate victim of what is the most bizarre dismissal I’ve ever seen, when his sweeped shot in the County Championship game against Warwickshire somehow landed in the right hand trouser pocket of fielder Jonathan Trott! The rules state that such an incident counts as a fair catch, so he had to walk after just 29 runs. We’ve struggled so far this season in the four-day game, just hovering above the bottom two, and as Joyce will testify, when luck doesn’t go your way, it really doesn’t go your way!
S Alice in Wonderland This Saturday Preston Manor becomes a wonderland inspired by Lewis Carroll’s famous novel. Alice will take you on an eccentric tour around the Victorian Manor House, where you will bump into other characters from the novel, like the Cheshire Cat, the White Rabbit and the Mock Turtle. After the tour, guests will have the chance to be treated to a Mad Hatter’s tea party. Alice in Wonderland, Preston Manor, Brighton, Saturday 25 July, 10.30am–11.45am, 1pm–2.15pm & 3pm–4.15pm, £10 plus normal Preston Manor entrance fee (Brighton residents get discount with proof of address). Advance booking only, call 03000 290902.
Bungee on the beach Ever fancied bungee jumping? Well, this weekend the Rockinghorse Appeal are giving you the opportunity. All you need to do is raise £100 in sponsorship. The Bungee on the beach event takes place all weekend on Hove Lawns and the money
raised goes towards helping ill, injured or disabled children in Sussex. Previous Bungee on the beach events have raised £15,000, so go on, make that leap of faith (on a bungee rope)! Bungee on the beach, Hove Lawns, Saturday 25–Sunday 26 July, 12pm–5pm. £10 entry (entrants are required to raise a minimum sponsorship of £100), visit www.rockinghorse.org.uk or call 01273 730286
Cliff-hanging charity Thrill-seekers listen up... In early August Macmillan Cancer Support are organising their fifth annual Abseil Challenge and they’re looking for volunteers to take part. All the money raised will go towards improving the lives of those affected by cancer in Sussex, so it’s not only fun, but for a good cause too. Macmillan Abseil Challenge, Peacehaven Cliff, Saturday 8 August, 9am–5pm, £15 entry (entrants are required to raise a minimum sponsorship of £100). To register for a participant pack, call 01273 746601 or go to macmillan.org.uk/eastsussex
Events listings Tuesday 21 – Monday 27 Artroom Summer Holiday Workshops A series of art classes for children. This week: Tues: Miro style canvases, Wed: Fauvist landscapes, Thurs: Japanese Art, Fri: Dali Card Sculptures & Mon: Primitive art workshop. Artroom Summer Holiday Workshops, 41-43 Portland Road. Day-long classes run
9am–3pm, £30 (per day), Call 01273 240308, or visit artroombrighton.co.uk
Thursday 23 Pavilion Proms The second in a series of short promenade concerts performed in the Pavilion’s Music Room by the Brighton Philharmonic. The Royal Pavilion, 7pm, £15/12. Tickets on the door. To book call 03000 290902.
Sunday 26 Illustrated talk: Foredown Tower Astronomers The astronomers discuss their work. Includes a complimentary look at the Camera Obscura. Illustrated talks by the Foredown Tower Astronomers, Foredown Tower, Hove, 2pm3pm, Free. Call 01273 292092.
“Ed Joyce’s sweeped shot landed in the right hand trouser pocket of fielder Jonathan Trott” Sussex haven’t won a County Championship game at Edgbaston since 1982, and this one was eventually drawn, but I’m sure Joyce will take some consolation in the knowledge that his one-day personal best of 147 against Gloucestershire, just four days earlier, secured his team a Friend’s Provident Trophy Final at his old stomping ground Lord’s, where he spent nine years as a Middlesex player. Joyce and his team-mates will go into that game against the Hampshire Hawks on Saturday 25 July full of confidence that they can pick up some silverware. In fact there’s lots to feel confident about in the restricted overs formats, with the aforementioned bright start to the Pro40 campaign, plus a Twenty20 quarter final game against Warwickshire to look forward to. If Sussex manage to beat the Bears in Hove, then who’d bet against them winning the Twenty20 Cup? Captain Mike Yardy has been their strongest player in that tournament so far this season with a batting average of 50 and taking 12 wickets, but Ed Joyce could be the man to watch here too, having captained Middlesex to victory in it last season. You can catch Tony Marks on Sport Saturday every Saturday afternoon from 2–6pm on Brighton’s Juice 107.2
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30 MUSIC NEWS
latest music
with Jeff Hemmings
★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★
Climate control Famous for the smash hit ‘Pop Muzik,’ Robin Scott’s new passion combines music with carbon offsetting arbonZero Muzik is a new concept launched by singer-songwriter Robin Scott, the artist behind the international hit ‘Pop Muzik,’ and carbon management company co2balance. We all need to take climate friendly action to minimise the impact climate change will bring. CarbonZero Muzik aims to raise awareness of climate change – through the power of music and the commitment of those in the music industry – to generate
C The Cribs
news ▲
White Air 2009 Moving from the Isle of Wight to Brighton, White Air 2009 is Europe’s biggest extreme sports and music festival. Featuring a plethora of crazy and wonderful sports that involve water such as wakeboarding, surfing, kite surfing, high diving, beach volleyball, kayaking, orbing and another 30 or so events! Musically there’s a fine line-up taking shape with bands such as The Doves, The Cribs (who now include ex-Smiths guitarist Johnny Marr among their ranks), White Lies, British Sea Power (of course), Natty and Biffy Clyro already confirmed. Expect many more announcements over the coming weeks. 20,000 music and extreme sports fans are expected and tickets for this three-day bash are available via www.whiteair.co.uk Friday 18–Sunday 20 September
the
Big gig Dinosaur Jnr Apparently, their new album has been recalled because it is too loud! That about says it all!! Friday 21 August, Concorde 2
action that will combat climate change and aid local communities in Africa. The funds raised as a result of CarbonZero Muzik will be invested into carbon saving projects in Africa, supplying energy efficient technologies to local communities in Kenya. Carbon offsetting works by investing funds to absorb or prevent the emission of a tonnage of carbon equivalent to the client’s unavoidable carbon emissions. In order to have complete control over the projects, co2balance own and manage in-house schemes. This allows them to closely monitor and manage their projects in order to guarantee clients an ethical offset. co2balance works with local social groups to supply them with energy efficient cooking stoves to replace their open fires. The energy efficient stoves are approximately 70 per cent more efficient than an open fire. In addition to the saving in greenhouse gas emissions, the reduced need for firewood and the burning of rubbish leads to a corresponding reduction in the amount of time spent collecting the material. The project has a wide range of additional benefits to the receiving community, including health, financial, social and environmental, maximising the projects’ achievements beyond simple carbon saving. Always a musical innovator, Robin has worked with the likes of Mark King, David Bowie, Ryuichi Sakamoto, Gang of Four’s Andy Gill and many more. Footprints will feature new material from Robin Scott as well as sets from Berenice, Ettin and Robin’s beatboxing son Rowan. Footprints, Thursday 23 July, Latest Music Bar, 14–17 Manchester Street, Brighton.
UPCOMING GIGS Hadouken! 1 Aug, Concorde 2 Easy Star All Stars 5 Aug, Concorde 2 Wedding Present 27 Aug, Concorde 2 Bill Callahan 18 Aug, St. Georges Church Wedding Present 27 Aug, Concorde 2 Sister Sledge 27 Aug, Concorde 2 Beachdown 28–31 August Average White Band 8 Sept, Concorde 2 Talvin Singh 23 Sept, Concorde 2 Kelly Joe Phelps 29 Sept, Komedia Brighton Live 30 Sept–3 Oct Hockey 1 October, Digital Bat For Lashes 2 Oct, Dome Joan Baez 5 Oct, Dome Zero 7 6 Oct, Dome
Wilko Johnson 8 October, Old Market Skindred 19 Oct, Concorde 2 Orquesta Buena Social Club 20 Oct, Dome Bloc Party 24 Oct, Brighton Centre Indigo Girls 26 October, Concorde 2 Dizzee Rascal 27 Oct, Dome Jimmy Webb 1 Nov, Dome Reverend & The Makers 2 Nov, Concorde 2 Seth Lakeman 6 Nov, Corn Exchange Dreadzone 20 Nov, Komedia Ryuichi Sakamoto 27 Nov, Dome UB40 9 Dec, Brighton Centre Alice Cooper 5 Dec, Brighton Centre James Morrison 8 Dec, Brighton Centre Jools Holland 12 Dec, Brighton Centre
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MUSIC 31
Music listings
Music highlights
Tuesday 21 to Monday 27 July
Tuesday 21 to Monday 27 July Heavy Load
Tuesday 21
Saturday 25
Growing Eyebrow-raising US guitar drone clashes with heavy electronic soundscapes. Freebutt, 8pm, £9 Master Musicians of Bukkake + The Polly Shang Kuan Band + Spoils Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc
Big Wheels Revue Brothers presents The Rubber Band Soul and Motown played by various Brighton luminaries. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £7.50/7 Soundcirque: Wrapped in Plastic Possibly unmissable (if as good as it sounds), this night involves secret performers covering songs from the films of the cult director David Lynch. Komedia, 9pm, £4.50 Sound Factory: Chess Fury + The Silence + Missing Andy Curious line-up involving raprocker Missing Andy and Wedding Present fans The Silence. The Providence, 8pm, £1 Time Crisis Club: Lucky Soul + Yokoko Motown-influenced Greenwich five piece. The Hope, 9pm, £4/3 Yacht + Max Tundra Another DFA-affiliated indie-electro dancefloor success, supported by veteran Warp man Tundra. Audio, 7pm, £5
Wednesday 22 The Beautiful Word + Yokoko + Robyn Platt Decent Brighton-based folk-popsters The Beautiful Word headline. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5/4 Iron Lung + Jovian + Teignmouth Electron Bruising, brooding hardcore from Washington. Engine Rooms, 7pm, £5 Open Mac Night Interesting spin on the open mic format – bring your laptops and samplers along and join in! Sidewinder, 8pm, free The Wasp Factory + Riot Riot Pop-rockers; surprisingly not a hint of black eyeliner in sight. Brighton Coalition, 8pm, £tbc
Thursday 23 Footprints: Robin Scott + Berenice + Ettin + Roman Scott Eco-friendly show to raise awareness of green issues, headlined by Goldie Lookin’ Chain and Devo associate Robin Scott. Latest Music Bar, 7.30pm, £7.50 Heavy Load + Squadron Leaders + Dad’s Liberation Army The UK’s only disabled punk band, with solid support from two bands that feature fathers of children with special needs. Surf-punk as recently seen at Glastonbury. Ocean Rooms, 8pm, £tbc The Mojo Fins Popular Brighton pop-rockers with a sound not dissimilar to Eliott Smith. Komedia, 8pm, £5 Shauna Parker and the Saloon Bar Band Talented Brighton vocalist presents her country and western swing project. Ranelagh, 9pm, free Sound Factory: Champignon and Friends + Gavin McCann + Codes Acoustic set from Ozric Tentacles’ John Egan and guests. The Providence, 8pm, £1
Sunday 26 Indigo South coast band play jazz covers. The Neptune, 8.30pm, free Nick Howard + Leah Mason Brighton singersongwriter with some success in the states (and songs in TV’s The Hills and Scrubs) returns to his homeland. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £4/3 Swing DeVille Swinging gypsy jazz improvised around 30s classics. Cleveland Pub, 8pm, free
Friday 24
Heavy Load Raising money for Brighton Pebbles, a support group for parents of children with special needs, Brighton’s Heavy Load will be headlining a night at the Ocean Rooms. The band are the UK’s only disabled punk band, whilst support acts Squadron Leaders and Dad’s Liberation Army (DLA) feature fathers of children with special needs. Proceeds from the gig will go towards running regular Friday afternoon sessions for the group and monthly outings. The group provides a safe place for children with special needs to play and learn, and support for their parents. Heavy Load’s instrumental surf/punk has seen them recently play Glastonbury Festival where they performed in Club DaDa in the Shangri-La area. Thursday 23 July, Ocean Rooms
Roland Chadwick Versatile guitarist who has worked with the Yardbirds, Lesley Garrett and Level 42. The Neptune, 8.30pm, free The International Band of Mystery Austin Powers-themed 60s and 70s covers with presumably ‘shagadelic’ dancers. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £7.50/7 Michael Magalon Quartet Brighton Jazz Club event. Komedia, 8pm, £8 Sound Factory: The Missing Fingers + Jasmine Ava + Joe Hunt Local bands line up. The Providence, 8pm, £1 The Warlocks + Wild Palms + Vile Imbeciles Atmospheric, stoner/psychedelic rock from LA. Audio, 7pm, £8
Yacht and Max Tundra Quirky, glitchy pop duo from the USA who will be playing at the Truck Festival this weekend too. Formed in 2002 as Y.A.C.H.T., ‘Young Americans Challenging High Technology’, they are signed to the DFA label and make engrossing electro/new wave inspired music that doesn’t take itself too seriously. Meanwhile Max Tundra (aka Ben Jacobs) bought a Commodore Amiga 500 home computer and armed with this and a £1 piece of music software, he began to explore the world of electronic composition. Eventually he got so good at using this cheap set-up that back in 1998 Warp Records released his first single.
Monday 27 Bandanny + Parry + Anthony Whitehead + Andrea Kenny Featuring blues, folk, soul and jazz-influenced singer-songwriter Andrea Kenny. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Breakthrough with Rough Trade Unsigned local bands showcase. Latest Music Bar, 12pm, £5/4 Tribal Vibe + CCTV Allstars + Hakuna Pesa + Bushas Mana Upbeat reggae and ska line-up including the Czech Republic's CCTV Allstars. Komedia, 8pm, £5 Nick Aldwinckle
Sanctuary Cafe, Hove Thurs JULY 30th
SPEED DATING (ages 30-45) To book tel:
07876 453210
Tell us what you think of sexual health clinics. Small discussion groups, weekday evenings in Brighton
Get £20 to discuss what you want from sexual health testing services. Call/email: Alex Pollard 01273 641887 a.pollard@bsms.ac.uk
Since then this whirlwind of one-man indie techno has been slaying live audiences with his brilliant show. Should be a cracker… Saturday 25 July, Audio Soundcirque: Wrapped in Plastic For one night only, Soundcirque will transform the Komedia Studio bar into a dark, dirty, witty and weird Lynchian night scene; with slide projections, themed cocktails, cherry pies, masked people and music from Twin Peaks and other Lynch soundtracks. Expect a bit of Julee Cruise, Pixies, Bowie, Roy Orbison, Danger Mouse, Elvis, Thomas Truax, Sparklehorse, Nina Simone, Rammstein, rock’n’roll, surf, rockabilly, jazz and much more. Totally devoted to David Lynch the night will feature DJ sets and live music. Saturday 25 July, Komedia Nick Howard + Leah Mason Two excellent singer songwriters in one bill headlined by Brighton native and New York resident Nick Howard who is creating a bit of a buzz in the States. His music is constantly being licensed for TV and film and recently made an appearance at Summerfest, one of the largest music festivals in the world which was headlined by Bob Dylan. Leah Mason is hot new property being looked after by The Kooks’ management team. Sunday 26 July, Latest Music Bar
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32 MUSIC REVIEWS | CHART
REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases lly Jackson, aka La Roux, has quickly made her mark on the electro dance scene with her hooky pop tunes that have helped her gain supports for Lily Allen. The 21-year-old Brixton girl’s quirky, almost Scissor Sistersesque sound is easy to appreciate, full as it is of great sounds, many pinched and manipulated from the ubiquitous early 80s era of synths, electro and new wave. Not only is she a fabulous songwriter, but she’s got a great voice and image (La Roux means the ‘red haired one’). Her debut and eponymous album is one of the best pop releases of the year. Brighton’s Paul Steel finally gets around to officially releasing his debut album Moon Rock. An epic adventure from this young songwriter and multi-talented musician, his love of the Beach Boys is apparent from the off, so much so, that it ends up feeling like a pastiche. Which is a shame, because Steel is obviously a great songwriter who just needs to find his own voice and forget about the BBs. After all, look what happened to them post ’66? Poor health, madness, tragedy and more. Paul, it’s not something you really want to emulate… One of the most enduring and self-sustaining of post-rave acts Eat Static continue to hold court at festivals and club nights throughout Europe and beyond with their always engaging mix of trance, techno, breakbeat, house and all things dance. Still underground but known by everyone there it seems, Eat Static celebrate 20 years in the ‘business’ with the release of Revisitation: The Singles 1993–1998, tracks that were released on Planet Dog. As well as featuring many of their hard-to-find tracks of that era there are two previously unreleased tunes to savour. Sitar’n’roll anyone? Cornershop are back after seven years, again with a smile on their face, but with a new fondness for early 70s Brit pop and rock-fused with a hint of Super Furry Animals. Judy Sucks a Lemon for Breakfast is the humourous title, and straight from the off it’s a magical journey through the gently warped minds of this very much loved outfit whose biggest moment to date was Fatboy Slim’s number one mix of their song ‘Brimful of Asha.’ A golden ray of sunshine within the murky indie doom.
E
Crossword solutions Solution Cryptic 198
ACROSS: 1 Cascade 5 Satan 8 Elder-wine 9 Len 10 Merge 12 Illegal 13 Accuse 14 Repass 17 Conceal 19 Ashen 21 Eli 22 Repellent 24 Tenor 25 Descend. DOWN: 1 Cream 2 Sad 3 Airless 4 Elicit 5 Steal 6 Telegraph 7 Nonplus 11 Recension 13 Ancient 15 Enables 16 Eloped 18 Error 20 Noted 23 Eve. Solution to Quick 198
ACROSS: 1 Calibre 5 Harsh 8 Magnesium 9 Gab 10 Opens 12 Tangent 13 Invade 14 Profit 17 Ensnare 19 Dales 21 Air 22 Installed 24 Empty 25 Lottery. DOWN: 1 Cameo 2 Lag 3 Blessed 4 Evicts 5 Human 6 Regretful 7 Habitat 11 Eavesdrop 13 Iterate 15 Radiant 16 Vessel 18 Amity 20 Sadly 23 Lie. © Crossword Shop
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10 ★ 1 Portslade – Waking Up ★ 2 The Woo!worths – Idle Hands 3 Jaybee – Twilight 4 Nig2dmic – We Made This – Me Rapping With Eminem 5 N-D-E – Bad Habit (digital media remaster ) 6 Tubba 3 Ply – Gerhard 7 The Last Cry – Rebekka 8 Fireworks For Summer – Maintain Radio Silence 9 Chaos Borne – Watching 10 Jaybee – Identity Portslade cling to the top spot for yet another week but competition is creeping up. Jaybee dominate the top 30 with the most entries, but Nig2dmic are the ones to watch out for. Their World Cup 2010 song moves down nine places but new track ‘We Made This – Me Rapping With Eminem’ creeps up to two. Want to see a change to the top spot? Download tracks now. In a band? Submit tracks now for a spot in Brighton’s chart! 11 Nig2dmic Nows The Time (World Cup song 2010) 12 EVOH I Love Brighton 13 The Adam Kidd Band Into The Night 14 900 Spaces Shake it Up 15 Chaos Borne I Will 16 Jack the Cad Brighton 17 WTF Waster 18 Mr Resonate Brighton Bubblin feat. Lionheart 19 The Mojo Fins In The Script 20 PORTSLADE Girls and Boys
21 Chaos Borne The Moment 22 Swarf Parlour Tricks 23 Jaybee My Imaginary Friend 24 Nig2dmic Waiting Not Waisted 25 Resurrection Surround me 26 Vortex Generator Regenerate 27 Surrender Monkeys With Friends Like These? 28 900 Spaces Discotechnology 29 Jaybee Miles To Go 30 Tenek If I Should Fall – EP version
Submit your music and videos www.thelatest/7/music-chart
SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos
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Bar & Club listings
Bar & Club highlights
Tuesday 21 to Monday 27 July
Tuesday 21 to Monday 27 July
Tuesday 21 Audio Snide. 10pm–2am, £3/2. Brighton Coalition Latin Fever. Fine salsa and Latin rhythms. 10pm–2am, free. Digital Glitterati. 11pm–3am, £5/3 NUS. Funky Buddha Lounge Subsplash. All star dub tracks and dub on the rising.10.30pm, £3/free. New Hero This Exists. Fresh music for cool kids! 10pm, £2. Pavilion Tavern Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal.10.30pm–3am, £3/1.
Wednesday 22 Audio Supercharged. Throwing out sounds that transcend genres from bass heavy grime to electro and dubstep with Drop the Lime. 11pm–2.30am, £5/3. Brighton Coalition Club NME. A beerfest with live bands and DJs. 10.30pm–3.30am, free. Digital The Poundance. A mash up of your favourite indie, R’n’B, electro, house, classics, dubstep and a squeeze of chart tracks.11pm–3.30am, £1. Po Na Na Urban Chic. R’n’B, hip-hop, dance hall and funky house. 10pm, £2/free. Volks Dub Tek. Filthy midweek basslines. 10pm–4am, £3/free.
Thursday 23 Audio Shameless presents Quids In. 11pm, £1. Funky Buddha Lounge Love Lockdown. 7.30pm, £tbc. Honey Club Contagious. House and dance anthems. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1. New Hero Pop Kraft. 10pm–2am, £2. Po Na Na Secret Discotheque. Return to the 80s. 10pm–3am, £3/2.
Friday 24 Arc Some Kind of Wonderful. 60s dance floor classics. 11pm–3am, £3. Brighton Coalition Psychedelicious. A tantalising mix of treats from psytrance to breaks with Further Project. 11pm–3am, £10/8. Digital Stonelove. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll, DJ and live bands. 11pm–3am, £4. Engine Rooms Deviant. 11pm–3am, £5/3. Funky Buddha Lounge God Made Me Funky. The don of soulful house, Arron Ross returns! 11pm, £6/3. Funky Fish The Funky Fish Club. 10pm–3am, £6/3.50. Hanbury Club Mojo to Go Go. The best swinging 60s psychedelia, soul, beat, boogaloo, ska and garage. 7pm–2am, £5/4. Honey Club Ministry of Sound Presents the ‘Brighton Beach Bash’. 10pm–4am, £12-8. Jam Laugh Out Loud. An eclectic mix of electronica beats. 10pm–3am, free. Komedia Born Bad Presents Urban Voodoo Launch Party. Born Bad DJs spinning bourbonsoaked rockabilly, garage, surf, trash, blues, punk and girl-groups! 9pm, £10.
New Hero Somewhere in the Universe… Alternative electro dance party. 10pm, £5/3. Ocean Rooms Strobe. Pound drinks when the strobe strikes. 10.30pm, £2. Pavilion Tavern Kick Out the Jams. Rock’n’Roll. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 Volks Wrong Music Present Megarave II. Toss your limbs into a giant grimey salad of booty bass, acid, old skool, jungle, D’n’B and dubstep. 10pm–6am, £10–8.
Saturday 25 Arc Hold Up. Indie night. 10.30pm–4am, £5. Audio Summer of Love. 11pm–4am, free. Brighton Coalition VeryVeryWrongIndeed. Tim Sheridan brings his infamous minimal/techno raves to the coast with Paul Woolford. 11pm–4am, £10/8. Followed By: Blow After Party. 3am–8am, £7–4. Digital Hat Club. Quirky head gear and the best in filthy house and electro from Filthy Rich. I told you nothing. 11pm–4am, £10. Engine Rooms Snake Eyed Mama's Club. Real deal psychobilly, rockabilly, surf, trash and sleaze. 11pm, £5. Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. With Juice Fm’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10. Followed By: Buddha Soul Special. 3am, £5/3. Funky Fish The Funky Fish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £6/3.50. Honey Club Sevensins. Big room electro, trance and house. 10.30pm–5am, £12/5 NUS. Jam EBoogie. E-lectronic Pop. 9pm–2am, free. La Tropicale Houseworks. Quality house music from across the world. 8pm–4am, £6/free b4 11. New Hero It is Still 1985. Alternative 80s night full of adventurous tunes! 10pm, £3. Ocean Rooms Muzika*. A night of total debauchery, so slap on the face paint and party to uplifting, tech, old skool house and rave! 11pm–4am, £8–5. Po Na Na Silk. R’n’B, funky house, commercial. 10pm–3am, £10/5. Volks Visions. 10pm–3am, £tbc.
with Jaime Pettit Supercharged This week born and bred New Yorker Drop The Lime makes his Supercharged debut, bringing you his unique mix of house, electro, dubstep and bass heavy grime. Truly transcending all musical genres, there’s something for everyone. Wednesday 22 July, Audio Ministry of Sound Presents the ‘Brighton Beach Bash’ The world’s mighty dance brand brings its cutting edge sound to the coast. Once again hosting a night of massive, revered artists who rip up the floor with an extra dollop of glam fun. This month Oliver Lang will incinerate the place with his chunky, underground tech-house sound,
while the Soul Avengerz douse the crowd in filthy funky house. Bringing warming sounds of the white isle to your door – unmissable. Friday 24 July, Honey Club Hat Club The first rule of Hat Club is don’t talk about Hat Club, but with all that’s on the agenda it’s hard not to. Expect the usual helping of dirty house and electro with sets from Filthy Rich, DJ Roo and Vince Frimpong, and of course, the funkiest headgear around. The best hat wins a bottle of champagne, so get creative. Just remember, you didn’t hear this from me! Saturday 25 July, Digital Visions Mixing up electro and D’n’B with Tim Archer spinning some heavy weight electro and fidget plus Flex bringing down the basement with some basslines. Saturday 25 July, Volks
Sunday 26 Honey Club Sundelicious. 10pm–3am, £2/1. The Open House We Change the Frequency Global tunes from across the genres. 8pm, free.
Monday 27 Brighton Coalition Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free. Honey Club Disco Babe.10.30pm–2.30am,£3/1. Jam Sessions. D’n’B, dub step, electro and house. 10pm–2am, £tbc. Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys.10pm–2.30am,£3/1 Jaime Pettit
Oliver Lang
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34 DANI | FILMS ON TV
latestTV
YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE Dani on TV
21 – 27 JULY
She says it how she sees it
Four Weddings Living TV, Mondays, 9pm he advert for this series suggests that if you like Come Dine with Me you will like Four Weddings. ‘I like Come Dine with Me’ I thought to myself so I sat myself down and gave it a go. During the show four women compete to win their dream honeymoon. They each believe their wedding is the perfect day and are pinning their honeymoon hopes on whether the other women think that too. All the women attend each other’s weddings and then give points for the dress, the venue, the food and the overall presentation. The bride with the highest amount of points wins. Just like Come Dine with Me, the competing women comment on the day’s events throughout the show, but you don’t actually know anyone’s overall score until the end of the episode. Anyone who is nosey will like this as you get to see how other people think the perfect wedding should go, and then whether theirs actually goes that way. There is the added bonus of there being three women at the wedding who are hoping in the best possible way that your wedding stinks. So far I haven’t witnessed any major forms of bitchiness, but I am sure it will come along eventually. What could be better than seeing a group of women smiling through gritted teeth at a bride they are secretly hoping will fall on their face as they walk down the aisle? The narration is sarcastic, just like Come Dine with Me, and if it wasn’t for that I doubt it would be as amusing as it is. It also gives you the chance to fantasise – ‘If I ever got married I would...’ Would the catering be the most important thing? Would you have the alcohol sorted before the dress? Would you get married in white? Some of the weddings featured are the perfect Barbie dream wedding and others are more quirky. One couple got married in a cave. This series will have ten episodes and will finish with a celebrity episode. Bitchiness, secret scoring, alcohol and wedding dresses – it sounds like the perfect combination providing the people featured in each episode are interesting enough to watch.
T
Films on TV
FRIDAY 24
Top tips for your week of flicks
(1972, ITV3, 10pm. Dir Joseph L. Mankiewicz The original film version of this twohander from playwright Anthony Schaffer, and so much better than the more recent remake. Laurence Olivier is the cuckolded husband, Michael Caine the younger lothario as they circle each other into a series of tricks with wits and high stakes.
TUESDAY 21
Broken Flowers ★★★★✩ (2005, BBC1,11.25pm. Dir Jim Jarmusch) When Bill Murray receives an anonymous letter telling him he has a 19-year-old son just as his current relationship is crumbling it forces him to go back to his exes in a search to find the truth. The result is a road trip of self-discovery, part drama, part comedy and rather nicely done.
WEDNESDAY 22 Chicago ★★★★★
(2003, BBC1, 10.45pm. Dir Rob Marshall) Some cracking songs and dances you’d rupture yourself if you tried at home, this is the strightforward tale of a gal who shot her lover, ‘cos he was doing her wrong. She was doing him wrong too as she had a husband but that’s beside the point. She gets banged up and the story starts there. Oscar nominated turns from Renee Zellweger, Queen Latifah and John C Reilly, and Catherine Zeta Jones actually picking up the gong for this.
THURSDAY 23 Rebel Without a Cause ★★★★✩ (1955, TCM, 6.50pm. Dir Nicholas Ray) Jimmy Dean’s penultimate film has him playing a troubled teenager, new to town and finding himself with the best of intentions in an ever escalating scrape. The girl is Natalie Woods; the needful best friend with undertones of more is Sal Mineo. Brings out the unsettled teen in us all
Sleuth ★★★★★
SATURDAY 25
Sunshine ★★★★✩ (2007, Sky Movies Indie, 10pm. Dir Danny Boyle) What shall we do in space today? Let’s save the sun! In a not too distant future that’s what this band of intrepid scientists and astronauts set out to do, but things get creepy and Murphy’s Law is not on their side. Will they succeed and save the Earth, will they have to sacrifice for the greater good? And is factor bazillion the right strength of lotion to take on this trip? Starring Cillian Murphy, Mark Strong and Chris Evans.
SUNDAY 26 The Poseidon Adventure ★★★★✩ (1972, Channel 4, 4.20pm. Dir Ronald Neame) The classic 70s disaster movie, with a star-studded cast, including Gene Hackman, Ernest Borgnine, Roddy MacDowell, Shelley Winters and Jack Albertson. When a massive tsunami hits a cruise liner it makes like a non-Weeble and wobbles and stays down. Stuck in an upside down boat slowly flooding a small group trying and make their way to the surface.
MONDAY 27
The Matrix ★★★★✩ (1999, ITV1, 12.05am. Dir Andy and Larry Wachowski) Keanu Reeve’s ‘Neo’ discovers that he is living inside a computer programme in a ravaged postapocalyptic world. Reacting to this he joins a group of rebels – as you do – headed up by Morpheus, played by Laurence Fishburne. Obviously, the powers that be aren’t happy about this and pursue the motley crew, but there’s something about a pesky prophecy that keeps coming up. Victoria Nangle
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tuesday 21 Desperate Romantics BBC2, 9pm They were the punk rockers of their era – The Pre-Raphaelites wanted the fame, the sex and the riches, and in return promised to produce the most true and heartfelt paintings to be seen in 300 years. Wild boasts from some beautiful young men. Especially when one of them had yet to learn to paint. Sid Vicious anyone?
You Have Been Watching Channel 4, 10pm It’s been great fun this, and it still keeps on going. Charlie Brooker chairs this panel show looking back at the week’s telly with his usual acerbic wit and cutting jibes. Longer than your average panel comedy show at 50 minutes, it feels like an indulgence rather than simply extra telly. Fab.
Big Brother’s Little Brother E4, 6pm Forgotten that Big Brother used to be one of the biggest events of the summer after life-changing festival experiences? Surely it’s better without the police being called into the house, Ofcom being dragged in with complaints or international incidents abounding. George Lamb is here to tell you what it’s all about.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 4.35 Clash 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Stacey’s visit to A&E brings to the surface the heartbreaking reality of her condition. Oh dear. This’ll have to be a doozie to bring it home to our sweet Stace. 8.00 Holby City Unwilling to hear the truth about her father, Donna hides his scans until she can get a second opinion. Chrissie struggles to hide her feelings for Oliver. Is no one in hospital about the truth? They all seem to agree with Jack Nicholson that “you can’t handle the truth!” 9.00 The Truth About Crime Nick Ross goes on a journey to learn the truth behind the crime headlines. He can handle the truth. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Imagine... Art In Troubled Times: A New Deal For Art The Great Depression and the Second World War changed what was expected of the arts; Alan Yentob asks if this recession could see the next transformation. 11.25 FILM: Broken Flowers (2005) Starring Bill Murray. Comic drama featuring an ageing single man who receives an letter claiming that he has a 19-year-old son. 1.05am Weatherview 1.10 Sign Zone: Coast 2.10 Country Tracks 3.05 Heir Hunters 3.50 BBC News
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Lunar Jim 7.10 Kerwhizz 7.35 LazyTown 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 League Of Super Evil 9.35 Krypto The Superdog 9.45 The Secret Show 10.00 Only In America 10.35 Serious Ocean 11.05 The Flintstones 11.30 Castle In The Country 12.00pm Open Gardens 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Car Booty 1.30 FILM: Son Of Paleface (1952) 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz. 6.30 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds Top chefs Gary Rhodes and Brian Turner look for bargains at an antiques centre in Hungerford to sell them for profit at auction in London. 7.00 Who Do You Think You Are? Celebrity genealogy series. Davina McCall makes some intriguing and shocking discoveries as she delves into her family’s past. 8.00 Coast For the first time Coast is in France on a journey following the shoreline of Normandy to discover the surprisingly close connections to our neighbours across the English channel. 9.00 Desperate Romantics See highlights. 10.00 Wainwright Walks: Coast To Coast Julia Bradbury follows in the footsteps of guidebook writer Alfred Wainwright by walking across the whole of northern England. Enthusiasm is high as Julia begins her adventure at the western extremity of northern England, St Bees Head. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed drama series about drug dealers and police. The mayoral race heats up as Mayor Royce and Tommy Carcetti hit the campaign trail, while Prez prepares for his new career. 12.20am On Thin Ice 1.20 News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 The Fuse
6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 6.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Big Brother 9.05 Friends 9.35 Friends 10.05 The OC 11.00 Desperate Housewives 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: If Not School, Then What? 12.40 Life Begins Again 1.40 FILM: Rage At Dawn (1955) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal: Seaside Specials 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions
6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Zoo Days 9.45 Nick Baker’s Weird Creatures 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.10 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Surrender Dorothy (2006) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Jai and Xavier play with a gun, with dire consequences. Not toys. Geddit?! 6.30 Rough Guide To Best Beach Holidays Toby journeys between Africa and the Caribbean to visit two very different beaches; and Julia dons her hiking boots for an adventure on the Cretan coast. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Vets In Action Doc series following four teams of country vets. James Herriot eat your heart out. 8.00 Monster Moves Mammoth moving series. Former heart surgeon Jack Sternlieb entrusts his custombuilt yacht, the Star Sapphire, to a team of maritime movers. 9.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama series based on the work of forensic investigators. The team goes head-tohead with Miami’s Russian mob after a double homicide in the Everglades. 10.00 CSI: NY Crime drama series. The murder of a high-profile fixer threatens to expose a web of deceit that goes to the very top of society. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. When a leg surfaces in a lake, Grissom finds himself investigating a murder which may involve adultery. 12.00am Most Evil 1.00 PGA Tour Golf 1.55 European Challenge Tour Golf 2.20 Seniors Golf 3.10 UEFA Cup Classics 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Football 10.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.00 Test Cricket 1.00pm Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 6.30 Football Asia 7.00 LIVE: Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Football Asia 1.00 Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 Football Asia 5.30 Sailing: World Match Tour
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Zak and Shadrach round up what they think are Andy’s sheep. In actual fact they are zombie mutants from the planet Zog. Maybe. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Award-winning comedian Harry Hill narrates more home video howlers sent in by viewers. 8.00 Send In The Dogs The canine cops are back for a new series. No jumping into filing cabinets as mild mannered janitors and jumping out as martial arts superheroes for these dogs to fight crime. 9.00 Car Crime UK Trevor McDonald presents a new series which takes a look at the work of specialist police car crime teams. Not ‘Herbie Goes to the Wrong Side of the Tracks’. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Raiders Of The Lost Archive Paddy McGuinness presents a series in which he unveils personal TV moments, previously unseen clips and career highlights. 11.05 Supernatural Science-fiction drama series. Molly, a frightened young woman, runs into the road in front of the brothers’ car needing help. Just like Penelope Pitstop. 12.00am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 12.50 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.45 Loose Women 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ravi experiences a ringing in his ear and lashes out at Anita. We’re beginning to think he’s not a very nice person. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Property Snakes And Ladders Paul and Karen Clayton in Bristol face a loss on their conversion of a Grade II Listed house. In Faversham, Kent, Robey and Jo Hillard’s plans to develop an Oast House may lead them to financial ruin. Bet it looks pretty though. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house. 10.00 You Have Been Watching See highlights. 10.50 The Inbetweeners Sitcom about four teenagers growing up in suburbia. In a desperate attempt at reinvention, Will decides that the lads should be cool and go to clubs. Simon drives them up to the bright lights of the West End, where they are dazzled by the ‘characters’ of the night. Spare 50p for a night bus? 11.25 Rude Tube Matt Kirshen celebrates the funniest and most notorious internet videos. 11.55 Betfair World Series Of Poker Europe 12.55am Big Brother: Live 4.00 Gillette World Sport 4.25 Avon Tyres British GT Championship 4.50 British Triathlon Super Series 5.45The Hoobs
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 9.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Elite League Speedway 12.00pm Spruce Meadows 3.00 Football 4.30 Live Cricket: Pro40 League 10.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 12.00am Formula 3 Euroseries 1.00 Test Cricket 2.00 Carp Academy 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Formula 3 Euroseries 4.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am WWE Afterburn 7.00 Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Athletics: Great North 10k Run 12.30 Extra Time 1.00 Football 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Bowls 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 8.00 Bowls 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Carp Academy 11.30 Bowls 1.30am Golf: Challenge Series 2009 2.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 3.00 Close
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
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Living
4.00pm Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 A Town Called Eureka 9.00 House 10.00 My Breasts Could Kill Me (x2) 12.00am Bones 1.00 Road Wars 1.55 Ross Kemp On Gangs 2.50 Stargate SG-1 (x2) 4.30 Road Wars Half Hours 4.55 Bite Size Brainiac
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 9.00 Otto: Love, Lust And Las Vegas 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Bizarre Animal ER 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 12.45am Otto: Love, Lust And Las Vegas 1.45 Bizarre Animal ER
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Only Connect 8.00 South Pacific 9.00 The Grandparent Diaries 10.00 The Chaser’s War On Everything 10.30 Flight Of The Conchords: On Air 11.00 Getting On 11.30 Ray Gosling: OAP 12.30am The Grandparent Diaries 1.30 Are We Having Fun Yet? 2.30 Only Connect
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Liam Gallagher: The Hot Desk 8.00 Harry Potter: Behind The Magic 9.00 FILM: The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006) 11.05 FILM: Intolerable Cruelty (2002) 1.10am Emmerdale
1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.00 Wycliffe 4.05 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: The Secret House Of Death 5.10 Rising Damp 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 On The Buses (x2) 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Wire In The Blood 11.00 Martina Cole’s Dangerous Lady 12.05am Reckless
1.25pm Big Brother 2.35 Friends 3.05 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother. See highlights 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny 11.05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 11.55 Big Brother: Live (x2)
3.00pm A Place In The Sun 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal: Seaside Specials 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 True Stories 12.20am Come Dine With Me 1.20 True Stories
11.55pm Maury (x2) 1.45 The Fix 2.00 LA Law 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Four Weddings 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Eleventh Hour 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 Charmed
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
12.00pm Time Team 1.00 Mars: The Quest For Life 2.00 Weaponology 3.00 Hitler’s Generals 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Deadliest Catch 6.00 Chop Shop 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Iceberg Cowboys 10.00 Alaska’s Great Race 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Most Evil
11.00am Quantum Leap (x4) 4.00 FILM: Warbirds (2008) 5.40 3rd Rock From The Sun 6.10 FILM: Dragon Hunter (2008) 8.00 Knight Rider 9.00 Dollhouse 10.00 FILM: The Last Winter (2006) 12.00am Nightmares And Dreamscapes 1.00 Nightmares And Dreamscapes 2.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2)
12.20pm Dante’s Inferno (1935) 1.55 The House On 92nd Street (1945) 3.30 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 5.20 Mr Hobbs Takes A Vacation (1962) 7.20 The Producers (1968) 9.00 A Streetcar Named Desire (1951) 11.05 Too Late The Hero (1970) 1.20am Rooster Cogburn (1975)
11.00am Fire (1996) 1.00pm The Air I Breathe (2007) 2.40 Psycho (1998) 4.40 Water (2005) 6.30 Tumbleweeds (1999) 8.15 Psycho (1998) 10.00 American History X (1998) 12.10am The Air I Breathe (2007) 2.00 The Movie Geek 2.30 Happiness (1999) 5.10 The Top 10 Show
11.00am Leave Her To Heaven (1946) 1.10pm Bugles In The Afternoon (1952) 2.50 Fun In Acapulco (1963) 4.45 The Hunters (1958) 6.55 The Perfect Catch (2005) 9.00 Wedding Crashers (2005) 11.15 Being John Malkovich (1999) 1.30am The Good Thief (2002)
10.45am Best Friends (1982) 1.00pm I Died A Thousand Times (1955) 3.00 The Omega Man (1971) 4.55 The Glass Bottom Boat (1966) 7.00 The Boy Who Could Fly (1986) 9.00 Lone Star (1996) 11.35 Shaft (1971) 1.35am Lone Star (1996) 3.55 Offset: Terry Gilliam 5.00 I Died A Thousand Times (1955)
5.00pm As Time Goes By 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 First Of The Summer Wine 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 7.40 Yes, Minister 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley 9.55 Absolutely Fabulous 10.55 Fawlty Towers 11.40 Little Britain USA 12.15am Blackadder II
4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 South Park 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x2)
Classics
Indie
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wednesday 22 Who Do You Think You Are? BBC1, 9pm Cue the joke that says people have been saying this to Chris Moyles all of his career, but seriously. The Radio 1 DJ goes off to Dublin in search of his roots, discovering that his grandmother was brought up by her grandmother and that he’s simply continuing the family tradition of triumph over adversity.
Ugly Betty Channel 4, 10pm What’s going to happen to Alexis now she’s the one coming up in front of the beak? Does Daniel really care? He’s trying out a matchmaking service. Womanising not doing it for you any more Danny boy? Plus, the inevitable happens and Justin tried out for a Broadway musical. Shiny shoes ahoy.
Baby Beauty Queens BBC3, 9.40pm We’ve finished having a go and judging the American moms and show queen daughters – now it’s time to look closer to home. Milton Keyes, to be exact, for the Mini Miss UK beauty contest. Following three girls and their mothers, as tantrums spoil makeup and their real reasons for wanting to win come out.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Best Of Friends 4.35 Animals At Work 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Wildest Dreams The BBC has chosen nine people with ordinary jobs to see if one of them has what it takes to become a wildlife filmmaker, and win the ultimate prize: a job at the BBC’s Natural History Unit. 8.30 Seaside Rescue Documentary series following Britain’s maritime rescue services. 9.00 Who Do You Think You Are? See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Danny Wallace is live from Lottery HQ with the Thunderball, Dream Number and Lotto draws.Sounds almost as exciting as Tracey Island – Thunderballs are go! 10.45 FILM: Chicago (2003) Starring Renee Zellweger, Catherine ZetaJones, Richard Gere, Queen Latifah, John Reilly, Lucy Liu, Taye Diggs. Oscar-winning musical comedy. When an aspiring singer is sent to prison for shooting her lying lover, she meets a tabloid darling and headline singer who is in for a double murder. With the help of a slick Chicago lawyer, she learns to play the media game 12.30am Weatherview 12.35 Sign Zone: On Thin Ice 1.35 Versailles: The Dream Of A King 2.35 Heir Hunters 3.20 BBC News
6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Kerwhizz 7.35 LazyTown 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 League Of Super Evil 9.35 Krypto The Superdog 9.45 The Secret Show 10.00 Only In America 10.35 Serious Ocean 11.05 The Flintstones 11.30 Castle In The Country 12.00pm Open Gardens 12.30 Diving: World Championships 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz. 6.30 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds Tony Blackburn and Alvin Stardust look for bargains at an antiques fair in Sussex to sell them for profit at auction. Culturalicious mates! 7.00 The Culture Show: Manchester International Festival Tim Marlow presents the final week of the Manchester International Festival. 7.50 Avocets – Born Survivors Nature documentary. 8.00 Home For Life Interior design show. The Bundys from Walthamstow are first-time buyers who want to create a dream family home but lack the confidence to get started. The Wolff family from Purley need a house that doubles as both a family home and a place of work for both parents. Call Ikea – now! 9.00 Dragons’ Den Visitors to the Den appeal to the multimillionaire Dragons for investment in their budding businesses. 10.00 Taking The Flak Sitcom. There’s more conflict in the African country of Karibu as junior journalist Harry meets his girlfriend’s father for the first time. 10.30 Newsnight I 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed drama series. 12.20am The Supersizers Eat... The Fifties 1.20 BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 The Fuse
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.05 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.05 Friends 10.05 The OC 11.00 The OC 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place By The Sea 1.30 FILM: Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye (1950) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal: Seaside Specials 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Extra Portions
6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Zoo Days 9.45 Nick Baker’s Weird Creatures 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.05 FILM: Columbo And The Murder Of A Rock Star (1991) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge 12.00pm Mountainbike World 12.30 Football Asia 1.00 LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 European Tour Weekly 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 LIVE: Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 European Tour Weekly 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Lisa is furious with Zak over the sheep escapade. Not really zombies then? Who’d’ve guessed. 7.30 Grimefighters A brand new series which follows the daily lives of Britain’s clean up teams, including pest controllers, restaurant inspectors and litter pickers. 8.00 Midsomer Murders The peaceful setting of prestigious Whiteoaks Golf Club is rocked by death and controversy when a golfer is bludgeoned to death near the notorious 13th hole known as Crisp’s Folly. It wasn’t Crisp who was bludgeoned. Barnaby and Jones discover gambling is rife at the club – along with illegal money-lending and violent assault. Then, as the club considers giving ordinary villagers full membership rights, another golfer is killed. Truly elite and taking a stand. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Total Emergency Series following all emergency services in Sheffield. Today, the police are out in force at a local football derby with a history of violence. 11.35 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 12.30am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.25 Loose Women 2.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ash is furious that Ravi no longer wants to fight. Getting cross with a boxer? Yeah, that’s obviously a good idea safety-wise. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Embarrassing Teenage Bodies The Embarrassing Bodies doctors revisit some of their teenage patients to see how some of their cases have progressed. Dr Jessen explores the bad habits of teenage boys, while Dr McKenna reveals how binge drinking is putting their lives at risk. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house. 10.00 Ugly Betty See highlights 11.00 Skins Drama series following the chaotic lives of a group of Bristol teenagers. Pandora is desperate to have some fun after the only boy she has ever fancied is deported and decides to throw a party. Happens to the best of us, love. Unbeknown to Pandora, Katie has used some special ingredients in the chocolate brownies. Nutmeg? 12.05am 4 Music: Frankmusik: Live And Lost 12.25 Friendly Fires: Video Exclusive 12.30 4Play: God Help The Girl 12.45 Dirty Sexy Money 1.35 Big Brother: Live 4.00 3 Minute Wonder (x2) 4.10 Revelations: The Exhumer 5.00 Countdown 5.45 The Hoobs
6.00 Home And Away Geoff discovers that Lachie is taking his frustration out on Claudia. 6.30 Rough Guide To Exotic Escapes Julia travels to Costa Rica to explore its rainforests and pristine beaches. Toby goes off the beaten track in Colombia – a country keen to shed its image of danger and reinvent itself as a tourist destination. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Mean Machines This episode looks at how far the technology used to chop down trees has come, from chainsaws to helicopters that pluck single trees out of the forest. Blimey! 8.00 Build A New Life In The Country Harvey and John have a plan to turn a run-down croft on the Isle of Harris into a campsite, but legal wrangles threaten the project. 9.00 FILM: Gridiron Gang (2006) Starring Dwayne Johnson, Xzibit, Kevin Dunn and Leon Rippy. Sporting drama about a counsellor at a juvenile correctional facility who teaches the teenage inmates to play American football together in the hope that the sport will give them self-esteem. Ain’t life grand? 11.35 Police Interceptors: Special Edition 12.05am PartyPoker.com European Open V 1.40 NASCAR: The Sprint Cup 2.30 Cricket On Five 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Formula 3 Euroseries 9.00 Ocean Adventures 10.00 World Cup Of Pool 11.00 Carp Academy 11.30 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 12.00pm Formula 3 Euroseries 1.00 Carp Academy 1.30 Sailing: World Match Tour 2.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 4.00 Football Asia 4.30 LIVE Cricket: Pro40 League 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Total Rugby 12.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 Close
Sky Sports 2
Sky Sports 3 6.30am Golf: Challenge Series 2009 7.00 Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm World Cup Of Pool 1.00 Sports Unlimited 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 Carp Academy 3.00 World Cup Of Pool 4.00 Modern Pentathlon 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Water Polo 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 European Tour Weekly 10.00 World Tenpin Masters 11.00 DTM: Zandvoort 12.00am Ladies’ European Tour Golf 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 Water Polo 3.00 Boots ‘n’ All 4.00 Ladies’ European Tour Golf 5.00 Close
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
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Living
2.00pm A Town Called Eureka 3.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (4) 9.00 FILM: The Bone Collector (1999) 11.15 Transvestite Wives 12.15am Road Wars 1.15 Ross Kemp On Gangs 2.10 Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 FILM: Meet The Parents (2000) 9.40 Baby Beauty Queens. See highlights. 10.40 Family Guy (x2) 11.30 Little Britain 12.00am The Real Hustle On Holiday 12.30 Bizarre Animal ER 1.00 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 1.55 Baby Beauty Queens
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Once A Soldier 8.00 Casualty 1907 9.00 The Dead Sea Scrolls 10.30 Getting On 11.00 ONE Life 11.40 Imagine... Save The Last Dance For Me 12.30am Getting On 1.00 The Dead Sea Scrolls 2.30 Batman (x2) 3.20 Getting On
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 The Fratellis: The Hot Desk 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 FILM: Gone In 60 Seconds (2000) 11.20 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show 11.50 FILM: The Silence Of The Lambs (1991) 2.10am Emmerdale 2.35 Entourage
1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.10 Wycliffe 4.15 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Bribery And Corruption 5.20 Rising Damp 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 On The Buses (x2) 8.00 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Life 11.00 FILM: Death In Brunswick (1990) 1.15am Dempsey And Makepeace
3.55pm The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Big Trouble In Little China (1986) 11.00 You Have Been Watching 11.50 A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila 12.50am Big Brother: Live
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Engineering Britain’s Superweapons 11.05 Dispatches 12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 1.15 Time Team
11.55am Maury (x2) 1.45 The Fix 2.00 LA Law 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Private Practice 9.00 Eleventh Hour 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Blood Ties
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
12.00pm Time Team 1.00 In Search Of Eden 2.00 Weaponology 3.00 Hitler’s Generals 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Deadliest Catch 6.00 Chop Shop 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 20th Anniversary 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Most Evil
11.00am Jericho (x5) 4.00 FILM: Bone Eater (2007) 6.00 FILM: Lost City Raiders (2008) 8.00 FILM: Swarm (2007) 9.50 FILM: Fire Serpent (2007) 11.30 Nightmares And Dreamscapes (x2) 1.30 3rd Rock From The Sun (x3) 3.00 Mysterious Ways 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho
10.00am Two For The Road (1967) 12.00pm The Wild One (1953) 1.30 Lifeboat (1944) 3.10 Sullivan’s Travels (1941) 4.50 Pimpernel Smith (1941) 7.00 Two For The Road (1967) 9.00 Splendor In The Grass (1961) 11.10 The Wild One (1953) 12.35am Lifeboat (1944)
12.10pm A Mighty Heart (2007) 2.00 The Counterfeiters (2007) 3.40 The Diving Bell And The Butterfly (2007) 5.40 The Last Mogul: Life And Times Of Lew Wasserman (2005) 7.20 Almost Famous (2000) 10.00 Desperado (1995) 11.50 A Mighty Heart (2007) 1.40am Desperado (1995)
11.00am The Road To Denver (1955) 12.45pm Distant Drums (1951) 2.45 Call Me Madam (1953) 4.55 The Comancheros (1961) 7.00 The Family Stone (2005) 9.00 Broken Arrow (1996) 11.10 Oldboy (2003) 1.30am Croupier (1998)
11.00am The Boy Who Could Fly (1986) 1.00pm Promise Her Anything (1966) 3.00 The Singing Nun (1966) 4.55 The Jazz Singer (1953) 7.05 Crazy From The Heart (1991) 9.00 Losing Isaiah (1995) 11.10 The Butcher’s Wife (1991) 1.15am Losing Isaiah (1995) 3.10 Surviving Picasso (1996)
5.00pm As Time Goes By 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 First Of The Summer Wine 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 7.40 Yes, Minister 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 9.00 Fawlty Towers 9.45 Little Britain USA 10.20 Blackadder II 11.00 Only Fools And Horses (x3) 1.00am Steptoe And Son
5.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 The Office: An American Workplace 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.10am Two And A Half Men
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037_LS433_TV_Thurs
7/16/09
1:45 PM
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thursday 23 The Mentalist Five, 9pm With all the pretend mind-reading of body language, attitude and intonation Jane’s got his bases covered regarding identifying the bad guy. But what happens when a hypnotist joins the fray? It all kicks off with a man dragging a woman’s dead body into a police station believing it to be a sack of potatoes. No chips today please.
Psychoville BBC2, 10pm The dark comedy continues with this eclectic mix of psychotic misfits. Maureen learns the truth about her killing spree and Mr Jelly gets a call from Mr Jolly that plunges him straight back into danger. That’s not the way to do it! Mr Lomax gets a new home help, now that everything that could be nicked has been.
Entourage ITV2, 10pm The BAFTA-winning comedydrama continues with Vince’s new movie ready to premiere – so who will the guys take as dates? Eric offers to take Sloan as his platonic guest, meanwhile Turtle makes a splash with Jamie-Lynn Sigler on his arm. Who’s the star?! Ari’s up to some bits too – but when isn’t he?
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Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 4.35 SMart 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Whitney finds herself part of a twisted family unit, but how does she know who to trust? 8.00 As Seen On TV Steve Jones hosts the celebrity TV quiz, with classic clips, hilarious outtakes and the best of the best of current television. 8.30 The Rat Pack Doc following the work of pest controllers. 9.00 New Tricks Crime drama series. According to conspiracy theorists, journalist Peter Edelmann didn’t commit suicide, but was instead killed by the US government to stop him publishing details of a UFO crash outside a military base. But the team find themselves at the centre of a much more shocking cover-up when they reopen the case. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time Question Time is in Norwich. 11.35 FILM: Half Nelson (2006) Starring Ryan Gosling. Drama about a New York school teacher who wrestles with emptiness and a spiralling drug habit by night. 1.15am Holiday Weatherview 1.20 Sign Zone: Panorama 1.50 Gregg Wallace’s Recession Bites 2.20 The Best Job In The World 3.20 Heir Hunters 4.05 BBC News
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Lunar Jim 7.10 Kerwhizz 7.35 LazyTown 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 League Of Super Evil 9.35 Krypto The Superdog 9.45 The Secret Show 10.00 Only In America 10.35 Serious Ocean 11.05 The Flintstones 11.30 Castle In The Country 12.00pm Open Gardens 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 FILM: Lost Horizon (1937) 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz. 6.30 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds Former Blue Peter presenters Valerie Singleton and Janet Ellis brave the cold at the Ardingly Antiques Fair in Sussex to scour for bargains which they can then sell on at auction. 7.00 Nigella Express Nigella prepares fabulous dinner parties in advance. She makes a lamb, olive and caramelised onion tagine and a super-easy ice cream cake. Yum! 7.30 RHS Show Tatton Park Presenters from the Gardeners’ World team savour the delights of the last big RHS show of the summer. 8.00 Rick Stein’s Far Eastern Odyssey Rick Stein takes the viewer on an epic culinary journey by sea, down rivers and overland to explore the Far East’s diverse food cultures. 9.00 Mock The Week Host Dara O’Briain is joined by regulars Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons and special guests Greg Davies and Lucy Porter. 9.30 Never Mind The Buzzcocks The anarchic, award-winning pop quiz returns with host Simon Amstel. 10.00 Psychoville See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Death Of Respect Journalist John Ware examines the very concept of respect in today’s Britain. 12.20am BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 The Fuse
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.05 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.05 Friends 9.35 Friends 10.05 The OC 11.00 The OC 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place By The Sea 1.35 FILM: The Fighting Seabees (1944) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal: Seaside Specials 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Extra Portions
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 Water Polo 12.00pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 Total Rugby 1.00 LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 6.30 Barclays Premier League World 7.00 LIVE: Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 Showjumping 1.30am Darts: World Matchplay 5.30 Barclays Premier League World
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Zak cuts a deal with John over the stolen sheep. Rustler hustler. 7.30 Countrywise 8.00 Emmerdale The villagers try to save those trapped inside the shop. 8.30 Coronation Street Claire goes missing from hospital. Maria refuses to bow to Helen’s wishes. Joe begs Graeme to get him the pills. It’s drama from all quarters – where’s the famous Corrie comic relief? 9.00 The Bill Callum and Ben find teenager Danny Sissoulu beaten unconscious, and his distraught younger brother Kip and friend Mo covered in blood. Callum confronts a suspicious looking youth, Ollie Readshaw, who runs away only to be hit and killed by a lorry. Bad day. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Man Who Didn’t Cry: Real Crime A look at the apparently motiveless shooting of his wife and baby daughter by 30-year-old Midlands-born computer engineer Neil Entwistle at their home in Massachusetts in 2006. 11.35 Surface Fantasy adventure series that focuses on mysterious sea creatures in the ocean. 12.30am Motorsport UK 1.15 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.10 Supernatural 2.55 Loose Women 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks The day of the big fight arrives and Ash wants to cancel after finding out about Ravi’s brain aneurysm. So he does have a soul. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 The Home Show Architect George Clarke helps homeowners with different budgets fall back in love with their houses. The Cooper family have bought at the top of their budget, but their house is in need of long-overdue renovations. They hand over a big chunk of their savings to George in an effort to get things right. But he wants more. Greedy. 9.00 The World’s Oldest Mums In light of the debate caused by Elizabeth Adeney, who gave birth to a son at the age of 66 after travelling to the Ukraine for fertility treatment, Amanda Blue meets four women who are using IVF treatment to help them have children after menopause. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the last 24 hours in the BB house. 11.15 The TNT Show Jack Whitehall and Holly Walsh present a late-night entertainment show. 11.45 You Have Been Watching Comedy panel show looking back at the week’s TV, hosted by Charlie Brooker. 12.30am Big Brother: Live 4.00 Dispatchesr 4.55 Countdown 5.40 The Hoobs
6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Zoo Days 9.45 Nick Baker’s Weird Creatures 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.45 Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 2.55 Zoo Days 3.25 FILM: Rear Window (1998) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Aden struggles with Clint’s demands. 6.30 Rough Guide To Tropical Islands Julia snorkels and swims in the beautiful waters of the Cayman Islands while Toby explores the politics, history and culture of Cuba’s capital city, Havana. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Hero Animals Documentary series profiling heroic animals. Dogsled racer Paul was saved by one of his huskies when a black bear attacked him in the wilds of Canada. Brilliant dog. Many Boneos for you! 8.00 Headshrinkers Of The Amazon - Revealed Historical documentary series. Recently discovered film from the 1960s appears to show footage of a headshrinking ceremony in the Amazon basin. Piers Gibbon travels to Ecuador in a bid to authenticate the film and discover its location. 9.00 The Mentalist See highlights. 10.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series. A serial rapist who denies his crimes represents himself in court. 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama. A couple in a witness relocation scheme are found dead in their home, the only survivor their 20-year-old daughter. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 NFL Classics 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Trans World Sport 9.00 European Tour Weekly 9.30 LIVE European Tour Golf (x4) 7.00 Showjumping 9.00 Golf Night 11.30 NFL – Total Access 12.30am National Rugby League 2.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 3.00 The Dogs 3.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Ladies’ European Tour Golf 7.00 Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Boots ‘n’ All 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 LIVE Showjumping 5.30 WWE Vintage Collection 6.30 WWE Special: Edge – A Decade Of Decadence 7.30 LIVE: National Rugby League 9.30 WWE Late Night Raw 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am WWE Special: Edge – A Decade Of Decadence 1.30 Modern Pentathlon 2.30 Race World 3.00 Close
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
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ITV3
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Living
2.00pm A Town Called Eureka 3.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Noel’s Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 9.00 Bones 10.00 Lie To Me 11.00 Bones 12.00am Law And Order (x2) 1.50 Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 9.00 Boob Job: My Big Decision 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Real Hustle On Holiday 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Boob Job: My Big Decision 12.45am Katie Price: The Jordan Years 1.45 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2)
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 BBC Proms 2009: Elgar Anniversary 10.05 Thoroughly Modern: The Bicycle 10.35 Wallander 12.05am Flight Of The Conchords: On Air 12.30 The Chaser’s War On Everything 1.00 The High Life 1.30 BBC Proms 2009: Elgar Anniversary
5.15pm Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 The Hot Desk 8.00 ITunes Festival 2009 9.00 America’s Got Talent 10.00 Entourage. See highlights. 10.35 Coronation Street 11.05 FILM: The Silence Of The Lambs (1991) 1.25am ITunes Festival 2009
1.25pm Upstairs, Downstairs 2.30 Wycliffe 3.35 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Bribery And Corruption 4.45 Monarch Of The Glen 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 On The Buses (x2) 8.00 Ladies Of Letters (x2) 9.00 Robbie Coltrane: B-Road Britain 10.00 The Forsyte Saga 11.40 Numb3rs 12.40am Cracker
1.25pm Big Brother 2.25 Friends 3.00 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Reaper 10.00 The Big Bang Theory 10.30 Tim Minchin: Live 12.40am Big Brother: Live
5.05pm Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies 10.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 11.00 Without A Trace 12.00am Embarrassing Bodies 1.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA
11.55am Maury (x2) 1.45 The Fix 2.00 LA Law 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Grey’s Anatomy 9.00 Private Practice 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 Charmed (x2) 3.00 The Biggest Loser UK
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
1.00pm Mystery Of The Alaskan Mummies 2.00 Weaponology 3.00 Hitler’s Generals 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Deadliest Catch 6.00 Chop Shop 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Monster Moves 10.00 Deadliest Catch 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Most Evil
12.00pm Angel (x4) 4.00 FILM: Dragon Hunter (2008) 6.00 FILM: Dungeons And Dragons: Wrath Of The Dragon God (2005) 8.00 Bionic Woman 9.00 My Own Worst Enemy 10.00 Dollhouse 11.00 Knight Rider 12.00am Nightmares And Dreamscapes (x2) 2.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 3.00 Mysterious Ways
11.30am The Spy Who Came In From The Cold (1965) 1.30pm The Out-ofTowners (1970) 3.10 Night And The City (1950) 4.50 The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 6.45 Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines (1965) 9.00 Giant (1956) 12.20am Compulsion (1959)
11.20am This Is My Father (1998) 1.20pm I’m Not There (2007) 3.40 Earth (1998) 5.30 The Movie Geek 6.00 The Apostle (1997) 8.15 The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) 10.00 I’m Not There (2007) 12.20am The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford (2007)
11.00am Metropolis (2001) 1.10pm The Vicious Circle (1957) 2.50 Leave Her To Heaven (1946) 5.00 Big Top Pee-wee (1988) 6.40 Ever After (1998) 9.00 Team America: World Police (2004) 10.50 Taxi (2004) 12.40am The Last Mitterand (2005)
11.10am Crazy From The Heart (1991) 1.00pm A Big Hand For The Little Lady (1966) 3.00 Master Of Ballantrae (1953) 4.40 Please Don’t Eat The Daisies (1960) 6.50 Rebel Without A Cause (1955) 9.00 Private Benjamin (1980) 11.15 Point Blank (1967) 1.05am Private Benjamin (1980)
4.20pm My Family 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 First Of The Summer Wine 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 7.40 Yes, Minister 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 9.00 Only Fools And Horses (x3) 11.00 FILM: Muriel’s Wedding (1994) 1.10am Steptoe And Son
4.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Scrubs 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x2)
Classics
Indie
038_LS433_TV_Fri
7/15/09
12:08 PM
Page 1
friday 24 QI BBC2, 10pm It’s another jolly series of that informative and very giggleworthy quiz show, where the players get extra points for being ‘quite interesting’. Good job host Stephen Fry is joined by the riveting Charlie Higson, Andy Hamilton, Rob Brydon and – of course – Alan Davies. Check out how good old Stephen’s looking.
Friday Night With Jonathan Ross BBC1, 10.35pm Wossy’s got some gems on the sofa tonight. Old partner-incelluloid Quentin Tarantino joins the film-fascinated one – expect a clip from the new Inglorious Basterds – along with every single Dragon from Dragons’ Den, plus a rare interview with brilliant thesp Denzel Washington. Coo.
The Sarah Silverman Programme Comedy Central, 11pm The female comics that splits critics, this foul-mouthed Jewish princess showcases her talents in her own show, featuring her stage persona in a sitcom environment and one or two songs thrown in. Tonight Sarah mocks Laura and Jay’s engagement with one of her own.
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BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Diagnosis Murder 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Basil’s Game Show 4.30 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.35 Hotel Trubble 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Lunar Jim 7.10 Kerwhizz 7.35 LazyTown 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 League Of Super Evil 9.35 Krypto The Superdog 9.45 The Secret Show 10.00 Only In America 10.35 Serious Ocean 11.05 The Flintstones 11.30 Castle In The Country 12.00pm Open Gardens 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Car Booty 1.30 FILM: Hell Below Zero (1954) 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Athletics: London Grand Prix Live action from Crystal Palace as the world’s elite athletes finalise their preparations ahead of the World Championships in Berlin. 8.30 RHS Show Tatton Park The Gardeners’ World team present from the RHS Show. With tips on seasonal planting and how to make the most of your own garden space, Toby Buckland, Carol Klein and Joe Swift take a detailed look at the horticultural highlights of this year’s show and the stories behind them. 9.00 Top Gear Motoring news and views. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May seek petrolhead heaven in three £1500 rear-wheel drive coupes and somehow find themselves entered in a terrifying French ice race. 10.00 QI See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Gavin Esler. 11.00 Newsnight Review Round-table arts discussion series. 11.35 Neil Young: Don’t Be Denied Neil Young grants rare and unprecedented access to the BBC for a documentary in which he traces his musical journey in his own words. The film was made from three hours of interview shot in New York and California. 12.35am Medium 1.20 The Wire (x3)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 The Fuse
6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.50 Big Brother 9.00 Friends 9.35 Friends 10.05 The OC 11.00 The OC 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 In Your Dreams 12.40 A Place By The Sea 1.45 FILM: Blowing Wild (1953) 3.25 Countdown 4.15 Deal Or No Deal: Seaside Specials 5.00 Come Dine With Me
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Zoo Days 9.45 Nick Baker’s Weird Creatures 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 The Hotel Inspector 12.45pm Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.05 FILM: The Battle Of Mary Kay (2002) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 WWE Special: Edge – A Decade Of Decadence 10.00 Showjumping 12.00pm IAAF Athletix Weekly 12.30 Barclays Premier League World 1.00 LIVE Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 LIVE Football: Wembley Cup (x2) 10.30 LIVE: Friday Fight Night Live 12.30am Football: Wembley Cup 2.30 Friday Fight Night 4.30 Gillette World Sport 5.00 NFL – Total Access
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Dom’s On The Case: Money And Motoring Dominic Littlewood shows one family how they can drastically cut their motoring bills. 8.00 EastEnders Jean bravely steps up to be a mother again as Stacey takes her first step on the road to recovery. Good on her! 8.30 Traffic Cops A look at the challenges for Britain’s road police. 9.00 Hotel Babylon Sam enrols Juliet and the gang on a teambuilding course to improve their performance. However, the course leader has ulterior motives and Sam’s plan backfires when Juliet is forced to quit her job. Oops! 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross See highlights. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw Money? 11.40 FILM: Halloween: Resurrection (2002) Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Sean Thomas, Busta Rhymes, Brad Loree and Katee Sackhoff. Horror sequel. The original house of horrors from the first movie has now become the set of a webcam reality show. Who’s back? 1.05am Weatherview 1.10 Sign Zone: China’s Capitalist Revolution 3.25 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Viv blames Marlon for his breakup with Donna. Rodney fears losing his job. What’s he done? 7.30 Coronation Street Tony warns Barry to back off. Sean is worried by Jason and Leon’s friendship. Greeneyed monster making a double appearance tonight then. 8.00 Airline In Bristol, manager Machel Riley is confronted by a rather eccentric character who thinks he is travelling to Malaga – without a ticket. Us too! 8.30 Coronation Street Will Ashley go through with the operation? Will Sean’s lie be exposed in the Rovers? And will Zorro survive the fall? Wrong cliffhanger. 9.00 The Bill Following the death of Danny Sissoulu, the team now have a murder enquiry on their hands. Prime suspect Craig Middleton is interviewed and says he was confronted by the three youths in the park with a knife – but he only punched Danny. That’s alright then. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 TV’s Naughtiest Blunders Risque outtakes, unbleeped bloopers. 11.35 ITunes Festival Highlights Fearne Cotton and Dave Berry host highlights of the 2009 iTunes Festival. 12.25am Nightwatch With Steve Scott (x2) 2.15 FILM: The Rats (2001) 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Ravi panics when he discovers that surgery may be the only way to save his eyesight. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.35 Wild Things Documentary exploring the increasingly creative ways people are choosing to dispose of the ashes of their loved ones. Hm. 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away Troy and Sally Leacock have lived on both sides of the Atlantic. They want to stop renting in the UK and buy a new family home, but must choose between Salisbury or Florida. 9.00 Big Brother Davina McCall announces the results of the eviction vote live into the BB house. Plus highlights from the past 24 hours. 10.00 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the topical comedy panel show alongside team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford. 10.35 Big Brother The latest housemate to be evicted from the Big Brother house is interviewed by Davina about their time inside. 11.05 The Simpsons 11.35 Arctic Monkeys: Video Exclusive 11.40 Russell Brand’s Ponderland The foppish comedian thinks. 12.15am 4Music On The Beach 1.15 JD Set Presents 1.25 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Freesports On 4 4.25 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 5.25 Countdown
6.00 Home And Away Kirsty hides her feelings about having another baby. Where? Under the sofa? 6.30 Rough Guide To Great Weekend Breaks Julia steers clear of traditional tourist traps to explore the hidden side of Amsterdam; and Toby soaks up the imperial opulence of one of Europe’s most expensive cities – St Petersburg. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Top Trumps: Supercars Robert Llewellyn and Ashley Hames turn their attention to supercars. Neeeeee-yow!! 8.00 Police Interceptors Documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex. 9.00 NCIS Drama series. The team struggles to identify a mummified corpse found lodged in a chimney on a naval base. 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series. Logan and Wheeler investigate the apparent kidnapping of an internet star and her boyfriend. 11.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama series based on the work of forensic investigators. The team goes head-tohead with Miami’s Russian mob after a double homicide in the Everglades. Isn’t it too hot for Russian mobsters? 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 The Gadget Show 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Barclays Premier League World 9.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 11.30 Live European Seniors Tour Golf 2.30pm Live European Tour Golf 4.30 Live European Seniors Tour Golf 7.00 LIVE: Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Showjumping 1.00am Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 Ocean Adventures 5.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly
Sky Sports 3 6.00am WWE Special: Edge – A Decade Of Decadence 7.00 Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 WWE Raw 1.30pm LIVE Showjumping 6.00 Tight Lines 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 LIVE: Super League 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Super League 3.00 Showjumping 5.00 Tight Lines
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2.00pm A Town Called Eureka 3.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 9.00 FILM: The Bone Collector (1999) 11.15 Bones 12.15am Road Wars 1.15 Ross Kemp On Gangs
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Doctor Who 8.45 Doctor Who Confidential 9.00 Torchwood: Children Of Earth 10.00 EastEnders 10.35 Otto: Love, Lust And Las Vegas 11.35 Family Guy (x2) 12.20 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 1.20 Torchwood: Children Of Earth 2.20 Otto: Love, Lust And Las Vegas
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 BBC Proms 2009: Orchestre National De Lyon 10.30 Madeleine Peyroux: Somethin’ Grand 11.20 Madeleine Peyroux: Live In Los Angeles 12.40am BBC Proms 2009: Orchestre National De Lyon 3.40 Madeleine Peyroux: Somethin’ Grand
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Keith Lemon: The Hot Desk 8.00 ITunes Festival 2009 9.00 America’s Got Talent 10.00 FILM: Along Came Polly (2004) 11.50 Coronation Street (x2) 12.50am America’s Got Talent
2.10pm Upstairs, Downstairs 3.05 Wycliffe 4.10 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: A Dark Blue Perfume 5.15 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 On The Buses (x2) 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Life 10.00 FILM: Sleuth (1972) 12.45am Cadfael 2.10 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.05 Film File
1.25pm Big Brother 2.35 Friends 3.05 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends 5.30 Friends 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends 8.30 Friends 9.00 Supernanny 10.00 Wife Swap 11.05 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 12.10am Big Brother: Live
3.00pm A Place In The Sun 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal: Seaside Specials 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: House Of Flying Daggers (2004) 11.20 Lee Mack Live 12.25am FILM: House Of Flying Daggers (2004)
11.55am Maury (x2) 1.45 The Fix 2.00 LA Law 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Army Wives 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 Charmed (x2)
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2.00pm Weaponology 3.00 Hitler’s Henchmen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Deadliest Catch 6.00 Chop Shop 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 First On The Moon: The Untold Story 10.00 Las Vegas SWAT 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am Most Evil 1.00 Crime Scene USA
12.00pm Mysterious Ways (x4) 4.00 FILM: The Loch Ness Terror (2007) 6.10 FILM: Ba’al: The Storm God (2008) 8.00 Medium 9.00 Heroes (x2) 11.00 FILM: The Prophecy (1994) 1.00am Medium 2.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x4) 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho
11.50am The Miracle Of Morgan’s Creek (1944) 1.30pm Stalag 17 (1953) 3.40 The Desperate Hours (1955) 5.40 The Enemy Below (1957) 7.20 Broken Lance (1954) 9.00 The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie (1969) 11.00 Stalag 17 (1953) 1.05am Too Late The Hero (1970)
9.00am Be Kind Rewind (2008) 10.40 Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) 12.50pm Juno (2007) 2.30 Mumford (1999) 4.30 Once (2006) 6.10 Days Of Glory (2005) 8.20 Juno (2007) 10.00 Once (2006) 11.30 Be Kind Rewind (2008) 1.15am Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) 3.25 Mumford (1999)
11.00am A Man Alone (1955) 12.55pm Bugles In The Afternoon (1952) 2.35 Can-Can (1960) 5.10 Lassie (2005) 7.00 Jungle 2 Jungle (1997) 9.00 The Beach (2000) 11.15 William Shakespeare’s Romeo And Juliet (1996) 1.35am Glue (2006)
8.55am Please Don’t Eat The Daisies (1960) 11.05 Trial By Combat (1976) 1.00pm Forbidden Planet (1956) 3.00 The Spirit Of St Louis (1957) 5.35 Assault On A Queen (1966) 7.35 Montana (1950) 9.00 Soapdish (1991) 11.00 Scarecrow (1973) 1.10am Soapdish (1991) 3.05 Diner (1982)
3.40pm The Brittas Empire 4.20 My Family 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 First Of The Summer Wine 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 7.40 Yes, Minister 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 9.00 FILM: Muriel’s Wedding (1994) 11.05 Jonathan Creek 12.10am Steptoe And Son
4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 South Park (x4) 11.00 Sarah Silverman Programme. See highlights. 11.30 Tommy Tiernan: Bovinity 12.45am South Park (x3)
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saturday 25 BBC Proms 2009: 1934 BBC2, 8pm Clive Anderson presents a special Prom from the Royal Albert Hall marking the anniversaries of three great British composers: Delius, Elgar and Holst, who died 75 years ago. Sir Charles Mackerras conducts the BBC Philharmonic Orchestra, with soloists Rebecca Evans and Toby Spence.
Law And Order: SVU Five, 10.30pm From the bank of really rather good crime dramas to come over from the States and grabbed like a broadcasting lifeline by Five, this is another rather good one. When the teenage son of Stabler’s old partner comes under suspicion for attacking a classmate, Stabler finds it hard to stay subjective.
100 Greatest Sex Symbols E4, 9pm Over four hours of dead sexy people being shown at their dead sexiest. My, but E4 ambassador, you are spoiling us. The all time top 100 will be counted down, as voted for by the British public, with the beautiful people including supermodels, musicians, screen icons and cartoon characters.
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6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.30 Eating In The Sun 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Formula 1: The Hungarian Grand Prix 2.15 Athletics: London Grand Prix 5.30 BBC News 5.40 Regional News And Weather 5.50 South East Today
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Fimbles 6.55 Take A Bow 7.00 Animalia 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 Funky Fables 7.50 Eliot Kid 8.05 Wolverine And The X-Men 8.30 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 8.55 Diddy Dick And Dom 9.00 Skate Nation 10.00 Transmission Impossible With Ed And Oucho 11.30 Young Dracula 12.00pm Diving: World Championships 1.30 Animal Park - Wild On The West Coast 2.30 Racing From Ascot 4.45 Escape To The Country 5.30 Flog It!
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.55 Planet’s Funniest Animals 10.25 Countrywise 10.55 Quincy, ME 11.55 FILM: Frankie And Johnny (1966) 1.40pm ITV News And Weather 1.45 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Celebrity 2.45 Beat The Star 4.00 Moonshot: The Flight Of Apollo 11 5.30 Creature Comforts 5.40 Meridian News And Weather 5.55 ITV News And Weather
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 The Cooper Tyres British Formula 3 International Series 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Yo Gabba Gabba 9.25 Friends 9.55 T4 On The Beach: Buried Treasures 10.45 Dizzee Rascal Video Exclusive 10.50 Friends 11.20 Friends 11.50 Harry Potter And The HalfBlood Prince: T4 Movie Special 12.25pm Big Brother 1.25 Big Brother 1.55 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix 5.05 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.35 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 6.05 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions Cookery-based reality show. Jon Bramley is the next host in Coventry and, despite being hungover, is set to pull out all the stops. 6.35 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions Marie Hughes Price is the final Coventry host, and is hoping her wealth of experience will help her claim the cash prize. Finally acknowledging that dinner partygiving is actually a competitive sport. 7.05 Channel 4 News 7.35 ER Gates goes out looking for a homeless war hero and upsets Sam. Neela’s med student gets the entire surgical department into a lawsuit. 8.30 ER Sarah and Alex defy Sam and sneak off to a party, with dire consequences, while a snowstorm strands Banfield and Morris at a Nebraska medical conference. 9.30 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house. 10.30 8 Out Of 10 Cats: Big Brother Special Jimmy Carr hosts a special edition of the comedy quiz show featuring a gang of BB names. 11.20 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Guests are Jonathan Ross, Mickey Rourke and Denise van Outen. 12.10am 4 Music: U2: Video Exclusive: I’ll Go Crazy If I Don’t Go Crazy 12.15 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 1.15 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Scrapheap Challenge 4.55 Countdown 5.40 The Hoobs
6.00 – 7.35am Childrten’s television 7.35 Mio Mao 7.45 Hana’s Helpline 8.00 Olivia 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.50 The Secret Of Eel Island 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Mobil 1 The Grid 10.30 Mean Machines 11.00 Fifth Gear 12.00pm FILM: Heck’s Way Home (1995) 1.50 FILM: The Adventures Of Huck Finn (1993) 3.55 Five News 4.05 FILM: Flipper (1996) 5.55 FILM: National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983) 7.35 NCIS Drama series following a team of special agents who investigate crimes connected to Navy and Marine Corps personnel. The prime suspect for the murder of a marine on a college campus is also found dead, leading the team to believe that both were involved in a deadly game. Not Cluedo though. 8.30 NCIS Drama series. A young marine killed in Iraq is suspected of involvement in the murder of a young girl. When her body is found amongst his belongings, the case looks closed but Gibbs believes the dead soldier is innocent. If he could market that ‘gut feeling’ in the face of such evidence then, by golly, he’d mint it in. 9.30 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series about a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. The discovery of a girl’s body in a dumpster leads the CSIs to a powerful drug lord. However, the victim’s cause of death has the CSIs and examiners baffled. Asolutely bamboozled they are! 10.30 Law And Order: SVU See highlighs. 11.30 The Real CSI Documentary series following the work of Las Vegas forensic teams. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 The Gadget Show 4.45 Rough Guide To Cities 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football: Wembley Cup 8.30 Where Are They Now? 9.00 Cricket AM 10.30 LIVE Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy (x2) 6.30 Where Are They Now? 7.00 LIVE: Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 1.00am Darts: World Matchplay 5.00 Where Are They Now? 5.30 Gillette World Sport
6.00 Weakest Link Special Anne Robinson presents the quick-fire general knowledge quiz. 6.50 Total Wipeout Richard Hammond hosts more crashes, smashes and hilarious mud splashes on the world’s most ridiculous and extreme obstacle course. Ridiculous yet confusingly fun-looking. 7.50 The National Lottery: Guesstimation Nick Knowles hosts the game show in which two families try to out-think each other to win a dream holiday. 8.40 Casualty Curtis and Alice’s wedding day is thrown into turmoil when he becomes the prime suspect in a murder case, and Jordan prepares to leave the ED, but his plans for a swift exit are disrupted when tragedy strikes in Holby. 9.30 Outnumbered Semi-improvised sitcom detailing the lives of two young professionals as they attempt to raise their three children. Karen attempts to fathom who puts the ‘beeps’ into the mouths of TV chefs. Their mothers. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 FILM: Deep Impact (1997) Starring Tea Leoni, Morgan Freeman, Robert Duvall, Elijah Wood. Apocalyptic thriller in which life on Earth is threatened by a rogue comet. 12.10am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 1.10 Weatherview 1.15 BBC News
6.00 Empire Of Cricket Series telling the story of cricket. This episode looks at the Indian game, from its beginnings as the sport of the English colonisers to the riches and razzmatazz of today’s Indian Premier League. 7.00 Coast On Cap Gris-Nez, the closest point between Britain and France, Neil Oliver explores the hidden remains of a fortress built by Henry VIII in a desperate attempt to keep an English toe-hold on French soil. Doesn’t really work without the soldiers to back it up. Oops. 8.00 BBC Proms 2009: 1934 See highlights. 9.50 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Topical news quiz with Paul Merton and Ian Hislop. 10.30 Blood And Guts: A History Of Surgery Doc series about the brutal, bloody and dangerous history of surgery continues with a look at the development of plastic surgery. Thought of as a modern phenomenon, it actually started over 400 years ago with a spate of botched nose jobs. Ugh, ugh, ugh. More than a tad gruesome. 11.30 Horne And Corden Mathew Horne and James Corden in their own comedy sketch show. 12.00am The Culture Show 12.50 FILM: Lovely And Amazing (2001) 2.15 FILM: The Bothersome Man (2007) 3.45 Inside F1
6.10 You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill presents the nation’s favourite home video show, highlighting funny moments captured by the public on their camcorders. 6.40 That’s What I Call Television Fern Britton is joined by guest host Matthew Kelly, who selects his top TV shows, adverts and theme tunes from the 80s. 7.40 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Ten hopeful contestants compete for a place in the hotseat opposite Chris Tarrant, and a chance to walk away with the one million pounds (Dr Evil laugh). 8.40 A Touch Of Frost Police drama series. A 20 year-old missing persons case is re-opened when the remains of a teenage girl are finally found. With the mother desperate to discover the truth about her daughter’s disappearance, Frost attempts to get to the bottom of a case that has spanned two decades. 10.40 ITV News; Weather 10.55 FILM: Raw Deal (1986) Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Allaction adventure about an ex-FBI agent who goes undercover to infiltrate Chicago gangsters. ‘You dirty rat’ and ‘I’ll be back’ sound practically the same these days. 12.55am Holly & Fearne Go Dating 1.20 FILM: Hitcher II: I’ve Been Waiting (2003) 2.50 Crossing Jordan 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Race World 7.00 Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Where Are They Now? 11.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 3.30pm LIVE European Seniors Tour Golf 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 WWE Night Of Champions Preview 8.00 LIVE: Masters Football: Northwest Masters 11.00 Where Are They Now? 11.30 NFL – Total Access 12.30am Masters Football: Northwest Masters 3.30 Showjumping 5.30 WWE Night Of Champions Preview
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Friday Fight Night 8.00 WWE Special: Edge – A Decade Of Decadence 9.00 WWE Smackdown 11.00 WWE The Bottom Line 12.00pm Football: Wembley Cup 2.00 LIVE Showjumping 5.55 LIVE Super League 8.00 Showjumping 10.00 WWE Night Of Champions Preview 10.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.30am WWE Night Of Champions Preview 2.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 3.00 WWE Night Of Champions Preview 3.30 Gillette World Sport 4.00 Max Power 5.00 NFL – Total Access
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12.00pm Oops TV (x2) 1.00 Bones 2.00 UK Border Force 3.00 Road Wars 4.00 The Real A & E 5.00 UK Border Force 6.00 The Simpsons (x4) 8.00 Noel’s Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 9.00 Road Wars (x2) 11.00 Night Cops 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Street Wars 1.50 Transvestite Wives
7.00pm The Wrong Door 7.05 Doctor Who 7.50 Top Gear 9.00 FILM: The Pacifier (2005) 10.30 Live At The Apollo 11.15 Family Guy 11.40 American Dad! 12.00am How Not To Live Your Life 12.30 The Real Hustle On Holiday 1.00 Underage And Pregnant 1.30 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum
7.00pm Only Connect 7.30 The Story Of Maths 8.30 Unnatural Pursuits 10.00 Smoking Diaries Update 11.00 Unnatural Pursuits 12.00am The Grandparent Diaries 1.00 Madeleine Peyroux: Somethin’ Grand 1.55 Madeleine Peyroux: Live In Los Angeles 3.15 Smoking Diaries Update
2.45pm FILM: Peter Pan (2003) 4.55 Planet’s Funniest Animals 5.25 Black Eyed Peas: The Hot Desk 5.40 America’s Got Talent (x2) 7.40 FILM: Babe: Pig In The City (1998) 9.25 FILM: The Last Kiss (2005) 11.35 FILM: City Slickers (1991) 1.50am America’s Got Talent (x2) 3.20 FM
11.45am PD James: Unnatural Causes 1.55pm Kavanagh QC 4.05 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Inspector Morse 7.55 Wycliffe 9.00 FILM: Smokey And The Bandit (1977) 10.55 FILM: The Odd Couple II (1998) 12.50am Wycliffe 1.45 Upstairs Downstairs (x2)
9.10am Big Brother 9.40 Shipwrecked 2008: Battle Of The Islands 10.45 Heartland 11.40 Privileged 12.35pm Roswell (x2) 2.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends 5.30 Friends 6.00 Reaper 7.00 The Big Bang Theory 7.30 Scrubs 7.55 Friends 8.30 Friends 9.00 100 Greatest Sex Symbols See highlights 1.10am Big Brother: Live
9.00am A Place In The Sun 10.00 Time Team (x4) 2.15 FILM: The Hound Of The Baskervilles (1959) 3.55 Grand Designs 5.05 Grand Designs Revisited 6.10 Grand Designs (x3) 9.30 Farrah’s Story 11.10 Farrah Fawcett: A Life 12.15am The West Wing 1.10 Farrah’s Story 2.45 Farrah Fawcett: A Life
2.00pm Make Me A Supermodel US 3.00 Nothing To Declare (x10) 8.00 Ghost Whisperer 9.00 FILM: The Lost Boys (1987) 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air 12.30 The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Boston Legal 3.00 The Biggest Loser UK
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Discovery
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12.00pm Moonwalk One 2.30 The Making Of Moonwalk One 3.00 Forensic Detectives (x2) 5.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 6.00 Monster Moves 7.00 Born Survivor Special 8.00 Time Warp (x2) 9.00 Crime Scene Australia 10.00 Fred And Rose: The West Murders 11.00 Gang Wars 12.00am Most Evil
11.30am FILM: Dungeons And Dragons: Wrath Of The Dragon God (2005) 1.30pm FILM: The Loch Ness Terror (2007) 3.20 FILM: Warbirds (2008) 5.00 Knight Rider 6.10 FILM: Swarm (2007) 8.00 FILM: Minority Report (2002) 10.50 FILM: Hydra (2009) 12.40am FILM: The Order (2001) 2.20 3rd Rock From The Sun 3.00 Medium
10.30am McLintock! (1963) 12.40pm The Robe (1953) 2.55 Viva Zapata! (1951) 4.50 Seven Days In May (1964) 6.50 McLintock! (1963) 9.00 Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) 11.25 The Robe (1953) 1.40am In The Heat Of The Night (1967) 3.30 Frenzy (1972) 5.30 The Nutty Professor (1963)
10.10am Goodbye Bafana (2007) 12.10pm Sunshine (2007) 2.00 McCabe And Mrs Miller (1971) 4.10 The Lives Of Others (2006) 6.30 Fire (1996) 8.25 The Escapist (2001) 10.00 Sunshine (2007) 11.50 McCabe And Mrs Miller (1971) 1.55am Crash (1996) 3.45 The Escapist (2001)
11.00am Porco Rosso (1992) 1.00pm Dunston Checks In (1996) 2.40 Destination Moon (1950) 4.35 Carry On Dick (1974) 6.20 Coach Carter (2005) 9.00 Collateral (2004) 11.15 The Sin Eater (2003) 1.15am Being John Malkovich (1999)
9.25am Assault On A Queen (1966) 11.30 Montana (1950) 1.00pm Assignment To Kill (1969) 3.00 Lust For Life (1956) 5.20 The Oklahoman (1957) 6.50 The Cincinnati Kid (1965) 9.00 City Of Angels (1998) 11.20 Lean On Me (1989) 1.25am City Of Angels (1998) 3.25 Lost In America (1985) 5.00 Assignment To Kill (1969)
1.55pm Only Fools And Horses (x2) 3.40 After You’ve Gone 4.20 The Story Of Only Fools And Horses (x4) 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.10 The Thin Blue Line 10.45 Live At The Apollo 11.50 Harry Enfield And Chums 12.30am The Thin Blue Line 1.10 The New Statesman 2.20 The Two Ronnies
4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Lee Evans: XL Tour 10.20 Edinburgh And Beyond 11.20 Lee Evans Up Close 12.40am FILM: The Man With Two Brains (1983)
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sunday 26 Top Gear BBC2, 8pm Pretty cars versus modern speedy whoosh-type ones. Which are the best? Jezza, James and the Hamster immerse themselves in the world of classic cars to find out whether they really are more fun than the modern kind with all the whizz bangs. No power steering, no electric windows and no CD player. Hmm.
Big Brother Channel 4, 9pm Have you been following this in a vigilant and dedicated manner from the start? Or perhaps you periodically dip your visual toe in the water of a catch-up show every now and then, along with scanning the redtop headlines. Either way, someone went out on Friday and this is how Saturday reacted to that. Coo.
Family Guy BBC3, 10pm Round off the weekend with a trip to see the Griffin family. Why is it that all animated dysfunctional families have long-suffering wives, misunderstood dim husbands, a bright outcast daughter, troublesome older brother and the brains is with the baby? Not looking for comparisons mind, but you know.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Formula 1: The Hungarian Grand Prix 3.00 MotoGP 2009: Donnington 4.30 EastEnders 5.55 Songs Of Praise
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Fimbles 6.55 Take A Bow 7.00 Uncle Max 7.10 Thumb Wrestling Federation 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Gimme A Break 7.55 Diddy Dick And Dom 8.00 Da Dick And Dom Dairies 8.30 M.I. High 9.00 Undercover Dads 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Escape To The Country 12.20pm Monk 1.35 FILM: Birdman Of Alcatraz (1962) 4.00 EastEnders Omnibus 4.30 Swimming: World Championships
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Britain’s Favourite View 9.40 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.55 ITV News And Weather 12.00pm Wish You Were Here – Now And Then: Banff 12.30 Dream Homes 1.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 2.30 Columbo 4.30 Lewis
6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 8.00 Ironman UK 8.25 The McCain Track And Field Show 8.55 Big Brother 10.00 T4 On The Beach: Buried Treasures 10.45 Hollyoaks 1.20pm Big Brother’s Little Brother 2.20 Ugly Betty 3.15 The Simpsons 3.50 The Simpsons 4.20 FILM: The Poseidon Adventure (1972)
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Masters Football: Northwest Masters 9.30 Cricket Writers On TV 11.00 Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 1.00pm LIVE Football: Wembley Cup 7.00 LIVE: Darts: World Matchplay 9.30 Football: Wembley Cup 11.30 Darts: World Matchplay 2.00am Football: Wembley Cup 4.00 Tennis 5.30 Seamaster Sailing
7.00 Dragons’ Den Visitors to the Den appeal to the multimillionaire Dragons for investment in their budding businesses. What will the Dragons make of poker player JJ Hazan’s proposition? Oscar-winning make-up artist Beverley Binda wants to launch a range of cosmetics for darker skin, and corporate team builders Bass, Tone, Slap hope to drum up support for their business by offering up probably the noisiest pitch ever heard in the Den. 8.00 Top Gear See highlights. 9.00 On Thin Ice James Cracknell and Ben Fogle attempt to race to the South Pole. Not on motorbikes. 10.00 Mock The Week Two teams of comedians take a satirical swipe at the news and world events. Host Dara O’Briain is joined by regulars Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons, and special guests Greg Davies and Lucy Porter. Will they let the guests get a word in edgewise? The suspense is killing us! 10.30 Gonzo: The Life And Work Of Dr Hunter S Thompson – Storyville There’s bound to be some incredible stories in this, as well as highly influential in today’s arts scene, but we couldn’t say for sure because they wouldn’t tell us. Boo! 12.00am FILM: The One And Only (2002) 1.30 BBC News 3.35 The Super League Show
6.30 Meridian News; Weather 6.45 ITV News; Weather 7.00 The Royal Hospital drama. Dr Weatherill treats a schoolgirl whose crush on her teacher is getting out of control. And Jack and Alun try to uncover buried treasure under the hospital. When did this become Pirates of Holby City? 8.00 My Friend Michael Jackson Programme about Michael Jackson, the late pop superstar. 9.00 Whatever It Takes One-off drama. Young police officer Daisy finds her career in ruins and her relationship with her family shattered after a night out with a famous footballer leads to tabloid scandal. As she searches desperately for a way to rebuild her life, Daisy meets ruthless publicist JJ Merrick, who catapults her into the world of glamour modelling and instant fame. You just know that’s not where it stops happily. Nope, there’s more. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 Comedy Classics: Duty Free The series about classic sitcoms looks at Duty Free, which started broadcasting in 1984 and was soon attracting up to 18 million viewers despite some critical dissent. 11.45 Crossing Jordan US drama. 12.45am A Match Made In Heaven 1.05 Tour De France 2009 2.00 The Cosby Mysteries 2.50 Quincy, ME 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Olivia 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.50 The Secret Of Eel Island 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 10.30 Megastructures 11.30 The Hotel Inspector 12.30pm Build A New Life In The Country 1.30 Animal Rescue Squad 1.50 FILM: Riding Shotgun (1954) 3.20 FILM: My Stepmother Is An Alien (1988) 5.20 FILM: My Favourite Martian (1997) 7.00 Five News 7.05 FILM: Charlie’s Angels (2000) Starring Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, Bill Murray and John Forsythe. Tongue-in-cheek film version of the classic 1970s TV series about three beautiful agents battling against crime. The Angels are called upon for help when a computer genius is kidnapped, but they soon find that their job is not as simple as it seems and that Charlie himself could be in danger. That white-haired dapper dandy. 9.00 FILM: Pistol Whipped (2007) Starring Steven Seagal. Action thriller about an elite ex-cop kicked off the force amid accusations of theft. Troubled by heavy gambling debts and alcoholism, the man is offered salvation by a mysterious stranger who requests just a few favours in return. That’ll be fine. NOT. 11.05 FILM: Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986) Starring JoBeth Williams, Craig Nelson, Heather O’Rourke, Oliver Robins, Zelda Rubinstein and Will Sampson. Supernatural horror story in which evil occult forces return to terrorise a family four years after destroying their former home. 12.50am Super Casino 3.00 Asian X Games 3.55 Boxing USA 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.30 BBC News 6.45 South East Today 8.00 Hope Springs The women’s criminal past catches up with them when they get a surprise visit from Roy. As things go from bad to worse, will they ever live out their Barbados dream? Will any of us, to be fair? 9.00 Rivers With Griff Rhys Jones Actor and comedian Griff Rhys Jones sets out on an adventure to explore how rivers have influenced, nurtured and powered our lives throughout history. Griff starts his journey with the wild rivers of Scotland. He travels east, upstream from Kinlochleven, into one of the most remote areas of the country, then follows the course of the water downstream to Perth. He milks fish for their eggs. Yes he does. We knew he could do bizarre things. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 FILM: The Rock (1996) Starring Sean Connery, Nicolas Cage, Ed Harris, David Morse, John C McGinley and Bokeem Woodbine. Action thriller about a war hero who holds San Francisco to ransom, and the FBI scientist charged with stopping him. The deranged general and his men take the disused prison island of Alcatraz, threatening to unleash chemical warheads unless their demands are met. Moo-ha-ha! 12.30am Weatherview 12.35 Sign Zone: Empire Of Cricket 1.35 Holby City 2.35 Seaside Rescue 3.35 News
6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Revelations: Muslim And Looking For Love Observational documentary about exactly what it says on the tin. 8.00 Wife Swap Reality programme in which people exchange their partners, children and homes for a short period. Houseproud Michele Duncan who won’t trust her family to help with the chores swaps lives with Tracy Bonnar, a busy mother-of-three who expects everyone to pull their weight. Will actual hospitalisation be involved in this week’s clashes? 9.00 Big Brother See highlights. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts his own entertainment chat show, featuring sketches, interviews and audience participation. Oh what fun! 10.50 8 Out Of 10 Cats The best bits of the latest series of the topical comedy panel show presented by Jimmy Carr, with team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford. 11.25 FILM: The Watcher (2000) Starring James Spader, Marisa Tomei, Keanu Reeves, Ernie Hudson, Chris Ellis. A killer follows the FBI man hunting him to Chicago. There he embarks on another murder spree, sending photos of his intended victims to the cop. 1.15am Big Brother: Live 4.00 Scrapheap Challenge 4.55 Countdown 5.40 The Hoobs
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Darts: World Matchplay 11.00 Wild Spirits 11.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 3.30pm LIVE European Seniors Tour Golf 6.30 Spirit Of Golf 7.00 LIVE: NASCAR: Allstate 400 At The Brickyard 10.30 LIVE: Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 1.00am International Cricket 2.00 Showjumping 4.00 International Cricket 5.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Wild Spirits 6.30 Cricket: Friends Provident Trophy 8.30 WWE Night Of Champions Preview 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 WWE Night Of Champions Preview 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Seamaster Sailing 12.30 WWE Night Of Champions Preview 1.00 WWE Special: Edge – A Decade Of Decadence 2.00 WWE Night Of Champions Preview 2.30 LIVE Showjumping 5.30 WWE Night Of Champions Preview 6.00 WWE Experience 7.00 WWE Special: Edge – A Decade Of Decadence 8.00 Showjumping 10.00 WWE Night Of Champions Preview 10.30 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.30 WWE Vintage Collection 12.30am WWE Night Of Champions Preview 1.00 Golf Night 3.30 Close
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12.00pm Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 1.00 It’s Me Or The Dog USA 2.00 The Real A & E 3.00 Bones 4.00 Futurama (x4) 6.00 The Simpsons (x2) 7.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 House (x2) 11.00 Lie To Me 12.00am Bones 1.00 Road Wars (x2) 2.50 The Villa 3.45 Brainiac: History Abuse
7.00pm Formula 1: The Hungarian Grand Prix 8.00 Baby Beauty Queens 9.00 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 10.00 Family Guy. See highlights. 10.20 American Dad 10.45 Famous, Rich And Homeless 11.45 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 12.45am The Real Hustle: High Stakes
7.00pm Dawn To Dusk Safari 7.15 The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency 9.00 Pinter At The BBC: The Birthday Party 10.50 Krapp’s Last Tape 11.40 Arena: Harold Pinter 12.40am One For The Road 1.10 Arena: Harold Pinter 2.10 Only Connect 2.40 Krapp’s Last Tape 5.30 Close
3.30pm Black Eyed Peas 3.40 Planet’s Funniest Animals 4.10 FILM: Babe: Pig In The City (1998) 5.55 FILM: Small Soldiers (1997) 8.00 The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2008 (Part Four) 9.00 FILM: City Slickers (1991) 11.20 Entourage 11.55 The Xtra Factor: Best And Worst 2008 12.55am ITunes Festival 2009 (x2)
12.15pm Inspector Morse 2.15 Kavanagh QC 3.50 Wycliffe 4.55 FILM: Smokey And The Bandit (1977) 6.55 The Shackles Of Sherlock Holmes 7.55 The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Sherlock: Case Of Evil 11.00 Inspector Morse 1.10am FILM: Death In Brunswick (1990) 3.00 The Wonder Years
8.40am Young, Sexy And... Busted 9.40 Beauty And The Geek 10.40 Desperate Housewives (x5) 3.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 4.00 Heartland 5.00 Friends 5.30 Friends 6.00 Ugly Betty 7.00 Privileged 8.00 One Tree Hill 9.00 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 FILM: The Butterfly Effect (2004) 12.10am Big Brother: Live
3.05pm Coach Trip (x4) 5.15 Come Dine With Me (x5) 8.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Home 9.00 The Secret Millionaire 10.00 Bernard Madoff: 65 Billion Dollar Swindle 11.10 Father Ted 11.45 The IT Crowd 12.15am Curb Your Enthusiasm 12.50 The Secret Millionaire 1.50 Bernard Madoff
12.00pm Bewitched (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Passport Patrol (x10) 7.00 Four Weddings 8.00 Ghost Whisperer 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 The Biggest Loser UK
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11.00am How Stuff’s Made (x2) 12.00pm Born Survivor: Bear Grylls (x5) 5.00 Born Survivor Special 6.00 Mythbusters (x3) 9.00 Battleground: The Art Of War 10.00 Last Mysteries Of The Titanic 12.00am Most Evil 1.00 Crime Scene USA: North Mission Road 1.30 Crime Scene USA: Missing Persons Unit
11.40am FILM: Bone Eater (2007) 1.20pm FILM: Ba’al: The Storm God (2008) 3.10 FILM: Dragon Hunter (2008) 5.00 FILM: Lost City Raiders (2008) 7.00 Knight Rider 8.00 Dollhouse 9.00 FILM: The Order (2001) 10.40 Heroes (x2) 12.40am FILM: The Messengers (2007) 2.30 3rd Rock From The Sun
11.20am Splendor In The Grass (1961) 1.30pm Island In The Sky (1953) 3.30 The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938) 5.15 The Conqueror (1956) 7.15 Desk Set (1957) 9.00 Operation Petticoat (1959) 11.05 The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938) 12.50am Scream And Scream Again (1970)
10.50am The Air I Breathe (2007) 12.30pm La Vie En Rose (2006) 2.55 The Singer (2006) 4.55 The Last Mogul: Life And Times Of Lew Wasserman (2005) 6.35 Clubland (2007) 8.20 The Air I Breathe (2007) 10.00 Desperado (1995) 11.50 Fargo (1996) 1.35am The Singer (2006)
11.00am Black Narcissus (1946) 1.00pm The Brady Bunch Movie (1995) 2.45 D-Day The Sixth Of June (1956) 4.50 The Comancheros (1961) 6.55 The Perfect Catch (2005) 9.00 Mr & Mrs Smith (2005) 11.15 No Escape (1994) 1.35am La Cienaga (2000)
7.25am Lust For Life (1956) 9.30 The Oklahoman (1957) 11.05 Code Name: Emerald (1985) 1.00pm A Fine Madness (1966) 3.00 Wait Until Dark (1967) 5.05 Spencer’s Mountain (1963) 7.10 Executive Action (1973) 9.00 Short Cuts (1993) 12.40am The Sergeant (1968) 2.45 The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing (1973)
2.10pm Only Fools And Horses 3.20 After You’ve Gone 4.00 Only Fools And Horses 5.05 After You’ve Gone 5.40 Only Fools And Horses (x3) 9.00 Live At The Apollo 10.00 Harry Enfield And Chums 10.40 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 12.50am The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin (x2) 2.10 Starstruck Classics 2.15
9.00am Scrubs (x23) 9.00 Lee Evans XL Tour 2005 Live 10.20 Lee Evans Up Close 11.40 Scrubs 12.10am Rules Of Engagement 12.40 The Office: An American Workplace 1.10 Comedy Store (x3) 2.40 Scrubs (x3) 4.10 Sir Leslie Quint: A Life In Film (x2)
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monday 27 The Street BBC1, 9pm It’s such a clever idea to have so many stories brought together by the idea of so many personalities living on one street. Tonight Jonas Armstrong stars, trading his Lincoln green tights for an altogether different hue of camouflage. He plays Nick, a soldier back from Afghanistan with demons a-plenty to battle.
The Scandalous Adventures Of Lord Byron Channel 4, 9pm Rupert Everett follows the scandalous footsteps of Lord Byron across Europe and the Mediterranean. Collecting stories along the way of Byron’s adventures, his rise and fall and his sexual liberation, Rupert gathers an insight into Byron’s autobiographical ‘Childe Harold.’
Britain’s Most Embarrassing Parents BBC3, 9pm One person’s mortifyingly cringworthy parent is another’s much coveted funky mum all the kids wish they had. Potato, potahto – it’s all in the eye of the beholder. Kirsten O’Brien takes a warmhearted and irreverent tour of ten families with unconventional parents.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Best Of Friends 4.35 Animals At Work 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Bang Goes The Theory Bang Goes the Theory. Apparently it goes ‘bang’. What noise does it make? 8.00 EastEnders A dark figure from Libby’s past returns. Meanwhile, there is trouble at the Vic. Isn’t Libby too young to have had time for a past, let alone shadowy figures? 8.30 Panorama Veteran BBC war reporter Allan Little investigates how the battlefield trauma – posttraumatic stress disorder – now ends up in car insurance claims, workplace accidents and school bullying. 9.00 The Street See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Blood, Sweat And Takeaways Young people experience quite what human cost there is to our instant food habits. 11.35 FILM: Goodbye Charlie Bright (2001) Starring Paul Nicholls, Roland Manookian, David Thewlis. The story of two London boys who grow up living a life of car crime and petty theft. Then one wants to change his path, which isn’t too popular an idea with his bessie mate. 1.00am Weatherview 1.05 Sign Zone: The Supersizers Eat... The French Revolution 2.05 Desperate Romantics 3.05 Taking The Flak 3.35 Heir Hunters 4.20 BBC News
6.00 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 League Of Super Evil 9.30 Krypto The Superdog 9.45 The Secret Show 10.00 Only In America 10.30 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 10.35 Serious Ocean 11.05 The Flintstones 11.30 Castle In The Country 12.00pm Open Gardens 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Living In The Sun 2.00 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 2.30 Animal Park 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Know It All Know It All. 7.00 Top Gear Repeat of Sunday’s show. 8.00 University Challenge In an Oxbridge first-round match, the students from Clare College Cambridge fight it out with Jesus College Cambridge. 8.30 What To Eat Now Valentine Warner continues his guide to seasonal cooking and eating. 9.00 The Supersizers Eat... Ancient Rome Food critic Giles Coren and performer and broadcaster Sue Perkins travel back to the early days of the Roman Empire. Living in a splendid villa, Senator Giles dons a toga while vestal virgin Sue dresses in tunics and keeps the fires of Rome burning. Vestal virgin but probably foul-mouthed. Class stuff. 10.00 How Not To Live Your Life Sitcom about 20-something Don, a man with bad luck and even worse instincts. Don finds out he’s legally obliged to put on a wake for his deceased nan, with an open casket for her body. The only problem is that he cremated her a few days before. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed drama series about drug dealers in West Baltimore and the police investigating them. 12.20am BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Golden Balls
6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 The OC 11.00 The OC 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Checking Into History 12.55 FILM: Siege Of The Saxons (1963) 2.35 FILM: They Rode West (1954) 4.15 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Wogan’s Perfect Recall 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 International Cricket 10.00 Football: Wembley Cup 12.00pm Where Are They Now? 12.30 Darts: World Matchplay 3.00 Where Are They Now? 3.30 Football: Wembley Cup 5.30 LIVE Twenty20 Cup Cricket (x2) 10.30 Elite League Speedway 12.30am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 Where Are They Now? 2.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Pollard is unimpressed when Val enlists his help behind the bar. Betty tells Eddy that he has outstayed his welcome. 7.30 Coronation Street There is a cancellation at the registry office – will Becky and Steve go for it? Bring on the Thunderbirds! 8.00 Airline EasyJet staff feel the pressure as over 500,000 people head to Germany for the World Cup. 8.30 Coronation Street Chesney has the worst birthday ever. And he has Cilla for a mother! 9.00 Monday Monday Comedy drama set in the head office of a supermarket chain. Max is looking to make his mark with a new marketing campaign he hopes will make a big splash. But the tennis star he hires to be the public face of the products turns out to be PA Natasha’s despised brother – and she is not happy. How far will she go to get him fired? 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Bill Repeat of Thursday’s dramatic episode. 11.35 Raiders Of The Lost Archive Paddy McGuinness delves deep into the ITV archives. 12.05am FILM: The Matrix (1999) 2.15 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 3.10 Loose Women 4.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Darren advises Loretta to sue after her accident, while Sarah and Hannah try to convince her that looks are not everything. In Hollyoaks?! 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Dispatches Journalist Aidan Hartley presents an undercover investigation into how Robert Mugabe and his Zanu-PF party are still clinging onto power in Zimbabwe, with a focus on the London-based business figures who are benefiting from or supporting his campaign of political violence. 9.00 The Scandalous Adventures Of Lord Byron See highlights. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. We say ‘highlights’, like the ‘lowlights’ will be kept under wraps to avoid a scandal. That’s not what happens. Highs and lows included here. 11.15 Wife Swap Reality show in which people exchange their partners, children and homes. Houseproud Michele Duncan who won’t trust her family help with the chores swaps lives with Tracy Bonnar, a busy mother-of-three who expects everyone to pull their weight. 12.15am Big Brother: Live 4.00 FILM: Identity Theft (2004) 5.30 The Hoobs (x2)
6.00 - 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.45 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Zoo Days 9.45 Nick Baker’s Weird Creatures 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.45pm Five News 12.55 Wordplay 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Wordplay Plus 3.10 FILM: First Shot: The President Is Down (2002) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Aden accepts Belle’s marriage proposal. Irene decides to wind up the fishing business. What is Belle’s secret? An engagement perhaps?! 6.30 Rough Guide To Weekend Getaways Toby searches for respite from the heat in steamy Madrid. He visits the city’s historical palaces on a Segway – a two-wheeled personal transport device available for hire – before sampling the famous nightlife. Julia takes a break in Provence. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn discovers how firefighters train for their most hazardous jobs. 8.00 Fifth Gear Motoring show. 9.00 The Hotel Inspector Alex Polizzi visits the market town of Wisbech, where the 300-year-old Rose and Crown is in crisis. 10.00 FILM: Rock Star (2001) Starring Mark Wahlberg, Jennifer Aniston, Timothy Olyphant. Comedy drama. A wannabe rock star who fronts a tribute band is devastated when his friends kick him out of the group. Things begin to look up for the singer when he is asked to join Steel Dragon, the heavy-metal rockers he had been imitating for so long. 12.10am Lockdown 1.10 NASCAR Sprint Cup 2.05 Race And Rally UK 2.55 Motorsport Mundial 3.20 NHRA Drag Racing 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 Darts: World Matchplay 9.30 Golf Night 12.00pm Tennis 1.30 Showjumping 3.30 Darts: World Matchplay 6.00 Ocean Adventures 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 World Hockey Monthly 7.30 LIVE: Elite League Speedway 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 PokerStars Caribbean Adventure 11.00 Spruce Meadows 12.00am World Hockey Monthly 12.30 PokerStars Caribbean Adventure 1.30 Twenty20 Cup Cricket 3.30 PokerStars Caribbean Adventure 4.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Tennis 7.30 Seamaster Sailing 8.00 WWE The Bottom Line 9.00 Showjumping 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm LIVE NASCAR: Allstate 400 At The Brickyard 2.30 LIVE Motor Racing: Indy Car Series 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 LIVE: Winning Post 9.00 Ocean Adventures 9.30 World Hockey Monthly 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close
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2.00pm A Town Called Eureka 3.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Night Cops 11.00 Addicted To Evil 12.30am Ross Kemp On Gangs 1.30 Road Wars 2.25 Stargate SG-1 (x2)
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 The Real Hustle On Holiday 8.30 Underage & Pregnant 9.00 Britain’s Most Embarrassing Parents See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Little Britain 11.00 Family Guy (X2) 11.45 Britain’s Most Embarrassing Parents 12.45am Underage & ...
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Who Killed The Honey Bee? 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Wallander 10.30 The Secret Life Of The Airport (x3) 1.30am Goodbye London Aerodrome 2.05 Only Connect 2.35 Who Killed The Honey Bee?
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 Creature Comforts 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 9.00 FILM: The Chronicles Of Riddick (2004) 11.20 Coronation Street (x2) 12.20am Celebrity Juice (x2)
12.30pm Rising Damp 1.00 Heartbeat 2.00 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.10 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: May And June 5.20 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Wild At Heart 9.00 Martina Cole’s Lady Killers 10.00 Clocking Off 11.05 The Lakes 12.10am Inspector Morse
1.55pm Big Brother 3.00 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Shameless 11.05 FILM: The Butterfly Effect (2004) 1.15am Big Brother: Live
3.55pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 4.55 Time Team 5.55 Relocation, Relocation 6.55 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Property Snakes And Ladders 10.00 The Home Show 11.10 Kevin McCloud And The Big Town Plan 12.10am Property Snakes And Ladders
12.50pm Maury 1.45 The Fix 2.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Make Me A Supermodel US 9.00 Four Weddings 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 Charmed
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
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Sky Movies
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1.00pm The Worst Jobs In History 2.00 Weaponology 3.00 Hitler’s Henchmen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Deadliest Catch 6.00 Chop Shop 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Time Warp (x2) 10.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 11.00 Born Survivor Special 12.00am Most Evil
11.00am Thunderbirds (x5) 4.20 FILM: Swarm (2007) 6.10 FILM: Jack Hunter: The Lost Treasure Of Ugarit (2008) 8.10 FILM: Sands Of Oblivion (2007) 10.00 My Own Worst Enemy 11.00 Bionic Woman 12.00am Who Wants To Be A Superhero? (x2) 2.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 3.00 Mysterious Ways
11.35am Alfie (1966) 1.30pm Love Story (1970) 3.15 Seven Thieves (1960) 5.00 The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951) 6.35 Sweet Charity (1969) 9.00 Love Story (1970) 10.45 Alfie (1966) 12.45am Twelve O’Clock High (1949) 3.00 Too Late The Hero (1970)
2.50pm The Serpent (2006) 4.55 Plunkett And Macleane (1999) 6.40 Tumbleweeds (1999) 8.25 Margot At The Wedding (2007) 10.00 4 Months, 3 Weeks And 2 Days (2007) 11.55 The Walker (2007) 1.45am Margot At The Wedding (2007) 3.25 The Serpent (2006)
11.00am The Day Will Dawn (1942) 12.55pm Flying Tigers (1942) 2.50 Porco Rosso (1992) 4.45 Call Me Madam (1953) 6.55 The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976) 9.00 The Escapist (2008) 11.00 Taxi (2004) 12.50am Les Enfants Du Siecle (1999)
9.05am Spencer’s Mountain (1963) 11.20 Executive Action (1973) 1.00pm Crazy In Love (1992) 3.00 Seven Brides For Seven Brothers (1954) 5.00 The Password Is Courage (1962) 7.20 Thunder Over The Plains (1953) 9.00 Jackie Chan’s First Strike (1996) 10.35 It! (1967) 12.30am Jackie Chan’s First Strike (1996)
3.40 The Brittas Empire 4.20 My Family 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 First Of The Summer Wine 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 7.40 Yes, Minister 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 9.00 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 11.10 The Vicar Of Dibley 12.05am Absolutely Fabulous
4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Rules Of Engagement 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x2)
Classics
Indie