Latest Seven: Issue 435 4-11 Aug

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001_LS435_cover

30/7/09

12:37 PM

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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk

4 – 10 August 2009

FREE WEEKLY

★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★

Fashion in focus Mallow Photography has it picture perfect page 11

No sweat The easy way to tone up and lose inches

The Hat The band’s final fanfare at Komedia

Steve Gullick The Fairtrade Gallery exhibition that rocks


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7/28/09

3:11 PM

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31/7/09

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Contents

Welcome P

★ latest upfront 4–9 5 Seann: drinking habits of the Irish 5 Will is locking himself away 6 Bare Cheek with the Duke of Tork’s 6 Astral Angi: how to apologise

09

7 Dani: confessions of a shopaholic 8 News: crime reduction; veg power 9 Celeb City: a Royle moves to Hove

★ latest lifestyle 10–13

25

10 Tone up and lose inches at Revitalise 11 Cover story: Mallow Photography has it picture perfect

12 Hotlist: Dine Grease style with thick shakes and fries at JB’s Diner

★ latest listings 14–27

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14 Stage The Three Musketeers, Annie and more

14 Film All the films showing locally this week

15 Art Steve Gullick’s exhibition Sore Eyes at the Fairtrade Gallery

15 Gay listings

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Pride may be over but there’s still plenty going on…

16 Music The Hat on why they are planning their final farewell shows

TOP

Latest Brighton Download Chart

30

11

19 Clubs Clubbing has never been so good: We Luv Summer Pop, Floorplay and more

20 TV Dani’s squeamish when it comes to Inside Natures Giants

23 17

01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith

Production Editor Victoria Nangle

Business Director Angi Mariani

Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker

Creative Director Andrew Kay

Music Editor Jeff Hemmings

Production Director Fiona McTernan

Sub Editors Pearl Bates Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell

Finance Manager Sharon Caple Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive

Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi

Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer Staff Writers Nick Aldwinckle Ralph Miller Dani Winch Clubs Writer Jaime Pettit Books Writer John O‘Donoghue

Advertising Director Lynne Edward Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless

Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH

16

12

ride in Brighton and Hove is over for another year. However you spent it, we hope it was a safe and happy one. If you’re still in the party mood – or once you’ve had a few days to recover – turn to our gay listings (p15) for top nights out this week. There’s still plenty happening in Brighton and Hove to keep you busy this summer. In music highlights (p17), Natalie Imbruglia (remember when she was Beth in Neighbours?) was all set for a ‘secret’ show at the Hanbury Club. Once word got out, ticket demand increased tenfold and the Aussie ex-soap star turned pop princess has had to move her gig to the more spacious setting of the Concorde 2. Mallow Photography has made the move from the Big Smoke to live by the sea. Benjamin Mallow tells Latest why this move is a positive one and gives us a glimpse of his stunning fashion photography. Jeff Hemmings chats to Dan Clarke of The Hat in music news (p16). The band are playing their last gig in Brighton next week and tell Latest why they’ve decided to call it a day. Steve Gullick exhibits his photography at the Fairtrade Gallery this summer. The exhibition, titled Sore Eyes, features over 20 years of photographing greats from the world of rock’n’roll. Be sure to catch it. Jo Brooks has the latest local celebrity news in Celeb City (p9), including a famous golfer selling his Withdean home; a chance to own a putting green and have Peter André as a neighbour… Clare Brown tries the revolutionary new workout Power Plates in health (p10). Read the verdict of her workout sessions at Hove’s Revitalise. The hot list (p12) gathers together the best of fine dining and great value across Brighton and Hove. This week we’re loving ‘50s style American restaurant JB’s Diner on the seafront. Work up an appetite for their foot-long hot dog and sit back and pretend you’re in the cast of Grease. Some of our regular columnists are away this week what with it being the summer holidays, but they will return with tales to tell. Until next week…


000_LS435_LMB.qxd

7/31/09

2:17 PM

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latest

01273 687171

musicbar

open until 2.30am every night!

The city’s magical live music and party venue diana frangi exhibition – brighton rock photographer diana frangi’s exhibition of brighton musical personalities including fatboy slim, the maccabees, herbie flowers, the perils, chris difford, al perkins and many more. free and open all hours! wed 5 august

big swing live a night of classic live music a la rat pack and bobby darin in vegas! performing classic hits by frank sinatra, the rat pack, nina simone, ella fitzgerald, and many more. 8pm. £10 on door/£9 in adv/£8 per person for groups of 4 or more/£8 concessions

thurs 6 august

the sly-tones with songs that should impress fans of everyone from qotsa, the mars volta and, of course, pioneers like hendrix and the doors. quirky but impressive stuff. ds + los + theseus & friends.

8pm £3 fri 7 august

charity chuckle presents

upstairs:

stand up for ms sussex!

epic private party.

compere for the night is the unmistakable sam savage, with brilliant support from local rising comedy stars aiden goatley, jaq bayles, steven nelson, anthony ayton and dan allen. fundraiser for ms sussex charity.

to book your private party, weddings or anniversary contact angi or kate on 01273 687171 or email at bookings@thelatest.co.uk

7pm for a 7.30pm start £6

sat 8 august

club kovak with the go! upstairs: team soul town this will mark the fifth anniversary of their mercury music prize nominated debut album, ‘thunder lightning strike’. projecting a rainbow explosion of indie electro beats. kovak love people that dance!

8.30pm - 3am. £3

brighton's favourite soul stomping soul and funk band, led by singer jan jinkerson, make a welcome return to the venue playing danceable covers with support from doo wop dolls.8pm show 9pm £6

sun 9 august

private party To book your private party, weddings or anniversary contact Angi or Kate on 01273 687171 or email at bookings@thelatest.co.uk

FREE ADMISSION For TWO to any gig in Aug with this voucher*

01273 687171 or just come! *

subject to space

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7.30pm til 12.00am. £5/£4 nus.

for breakfast, lunch & dinner

thelatest.co.uk/musicbar 14 – 17 manchester street, brighton go to our website bn2 1tf. 100 metres up from the pier for tickets & listings


005_LS435_will/seann

7/30/09

10:42 AM

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CITY SPEAK 05

Seann ow, I don’t have the accent or the culture, but genetically I’m half-Irish. Last weekend I visited an Irish friend at his house in Bethnal Green, east London. He lives with about five or six other Irish people, give or take the occasional visitor recovering on the sofa. It was 5pm when I arrived. None of them had slept from the previous night‘s revelry. However, they still had the energy and enthusiasm to make frequent trips to the off licence, replenishing the supplies as they diminished. There they all were: drinking to keep themselves awake, staying awake so they could keep drinking. One girl’s voice was so weary from smoking, drinking and insomnia that each utterance was barely there, an empty, cracked whisper. In such circumstances, what one should be whispering is, “I’m going to bed and giving up drinking.” Of course, she didn’t say that. Instead, it was, “Can you pass the ashtray?” Another girl drank wine from a latte glass, cackling wildly at not very little, unamazed at her current situation, which was obviously routine.

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Will uess what. I’m typing this from inside a plastic bubble. OK, it’s not actually a plastic bubble; it’s my bedroom at home, except I’ve locked the door, wedged a towel under it, and drawn the curtains. As it turns out, it’s difficult to get plastic bubbles on the NHS, especially if you don’t have aplastic anaemia, so this is as close to a sterile environment as I’m likely to get on my budget. The larger problem, as anyone who’s picked up a paper or turned on the news over the past few months will tell you, is swine flu. My specific problem, being the type of person who consumes media faster than Fleet Street can churn it out (and – even worse – believes everything he reads), is I’ve now convinced myself I’m going to catch swine flu and die. More to the point, that I’m going to catch swine flu immediately before my impending holiday, be quarantined in a Menorcan workcamp, forcibly extradited to Britain, quarantined again, and then die. I probably won’t even get to use my inflatable crocodile. I don’t think I’m the only one over-reacting. On a bus the other day I made the mistake of coughing (into my hand mind you, and only because I’d polished off a bottle of Malbec the night before – this is known as wine flu)

Seann Walsh reports on the drinking habits of the Irish

“There they all were: drinking to keep themselves awake, staying awake so they could keep drinking”

The star of the show, however, was a guest. He was over from Dublin for a long weekend – a month-long weekend. He, apparently, had been exposing his genitalia all day, and trying to drag people in from the street, ‘for the craic’. Presumably some of them would have heard that final word, craic, and mistaken it for something else. The reality was no better. When I arrived he was consoling himself for his failure to bring in any strangers by drinking wine from a bowl, occasionally grumbling about the vestiges of mayonnaise left over from when said bowl had been put to proper use. Now, these people are not wasters; they’re all teachers. They are products of a new Ireland, part of Europe, embracing immigration rather than emigration, released from the tired stereotype of drunk old Paddy. But, however careerist these people may be, however academically accomplished, however satisfied with their lives, it seems that some habits die hard: some people drink, not to forget, but simply to drink. Is it coincidence that they were all Irish? Maybe so. Maybe it’s teachers who have a problem.

Will Harris gets swept up in swine flu hysteria

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“I saw a man sneeze and a woman ran away. If he hadn’t used a handkerchief, she‘d probably be in Seaford by now”

and drew the type of looks normally reserved for charity fundraisers and perverts. On North Street, I saw a man sneeze and a woman ran away. She actually ran, all the way from Boots and she hadn’t stopped by the time she reached HSBC. It wasn’t even a loud sneeze. If he hadn’t used a handkerchief, she‘d probably be in Seaford by now. This atmosphere of social paranoia reminds me of the weeks immediately after the 7/7 bombings, when anyone in traditional Muslim dress was regarded with suspicion. That was ridiculous enough (not least because CCTV showed the bombers were dressed head to toe in sportswear), but this is taking it too far, isn’t it? It’s like that movie The Thing, where researchers at an Antarctic base get terrorised by an alien that can imitate their colleagues (except without an alien, and with lots more Kleenex). Anyone could have swine flu. Who can we trust? It’s only a matter of time before people start having nail-biting Mexican standoffs at bus stops. As for me, I’m staying in my bubble, and I’m not coming out until the cab arrives to take me to the airport. www.twitter.com/william_tells

For comments and chit chat email: letters@thelatest.co.uk


006_LS435_cheeky/stars

7/30/09

10:30 AM

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06 ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek

LET’S CELEBRATE:

Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

13 YEARS OF DUNSTON CHECKS IN

Duke Of Tork’s! Hello! Peter Tork here – from The Monkees. I was the stupid one. Or was I the cute one? No, that was Davey Jones. I think. Hmm. Hang on – Davey Jones was the cute one, Mickey Dolenz was the cheeky one, Mike Nesmith was the one in the hat, and Peter Tork was the stupid one. Yes. Anyway, when I’m not being in The Monkees in the late 1960s, I like to investigate the history of my favourite UK independent cinema... Oxford’s Phoenix Picturehouse. Ha ha! Only joking! I mean, the Duke of York’s. So here are a few choice tidbits about the old place. The Duke of York’s is Britain’s oldest continuously operating cinema. It opened in 1910. The first film ever shown there was an embryonic silent version of Die Hard, directed by D.W. Griffith and starring Arthur V.

Johnson and Mary Pickford. The infamous legs atop the building are real! They belonged to the Scandinavian giantess Nissa Hillesland who died in 1959. Her legs were stuck on the roof clad in their trademark stripy tights for reasons that are lost to history. The most popular film ever shown at the Duke’s was Spies Like Us, which attracted an audience of 45,000 over six days in 1985. England’s least successful date occurred at the Duke’s in 1988, when Ian Whitley took coworker Alison Blunt to see the Kelly McGillis/Jodie Foster film The Accused, being only dimly aware of the plot. The most boringly-pretentious conversation ever had while leaving an arthouse cinema took place between university students Marcus James-Moore and Robert Jesson after a screening of Even Dwarves Started Small in 1991, and concerned the homosexual subtext of the films of Mack Sennett. The most downmarket conversation ever had while leaving an arthouse cinema took place between university

Astral Angi

students Chris Stanford and after a screening of La Dolce Vita in 1998, and concerned whether Anita Ekberg’s knockers were real or not. In 1992 seven people died of boredom while watching The Double Life of Véronique. Paul Kunstler, of Hove, fell asleep halfway through a showing of Dariush Mehrjui's The Cow in 1975, and didn't awaken until halfway through Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle in 2001, whereupon he lodged a complaint and asked for his money back. Between 1922 and 1954 the only snack on sale at the Duke’s was gravy browning. Unusually, the Duke’s is open on Christmas Day. Well, that’s enough facts from me. I’d better go and participate in another Monkees reunion without Mike Nesmith. Stay groovy, and keep going to the cinema, or I’ll give you a good “Tork-ing“ to. Arf! Lots of love! Peter Tork X

Yes, it’s hard to believe it, but it really is thirteen years since the release of Ken Kwapis’ seminal 1996 movie about a jewel thief orangutan who attempts to rob all the guests in a posh hotel, but is foiled by a couple of plucky kids. Do you remember what you were doing when you first saw Dunston Checks In? If you can then please tell us about it, so we can go on and on about it even more, like the media loves to do, rather than reporting current, proper news. We could probably even bring out a special glossy magazine all about it – or a pull-out at the very least. NEXT WEEK: WE CELEBRATE 31 YEARS SINCE THE END OF Z-CARS.

BARDSLEY’S

Astral finds that sorry is the hardest word

Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)

CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)

LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)

CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19).

Aries should be taking time this week to contact old friends. It’s never too late to say sorry, so burn those bridges and try to rekindle old relationships, after all they can only tell you to…

Cancerians can be hard-faced little beasts at the best of times so trying to extract any kind of remorse is probably a fools errand. But your fooling no-one Cancer.

Librans are fast to try and mediate in a dispute when really they should look closer to home and sort out their own mess first. Is your house in order Libra or full of skeletons in closets?

Capricorns do not make mistakes. Capricorns are never wrong so no advice for you this week. Well really, do you think I am going to waste my time on stubborn so-and-sos?

TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)

SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)

AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)

Taureans on the other hand should keep their heads down. Never rekindle old battles. Let sleeping dogs lie I say, although I have never worked out how you can tell if a dog is telling the truth.

Leos will always brazen out an embarrassing faux pas. Let them. Life is too short to try explaining the real value of an apology to a pig-headed bore, or is that boar-headed pig – you decide.

Scorpios like to lay their table out for the world too see. And what you see is what you get, not always a pretty sight either Scorpio, so calm it down eh, there’s a nice star sign.

Aquarians are so loved up that they pre-empt all their statement with an apology. Aquarians need to get real, really real. We all make mistakes; learn to live with it.

GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)

PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)

Gemini finds it so hard to make any kind of decision that you have probably upset all your friends and acquaintances. Cut costs and book an ad apologising in Latest 7.

Virgos truly believe that they are innocents, pure as the driven… Well, get real Virgo and face up to the truth; you are bad and simply good at covering it up. White fools no-one.

Sagis should never go to sleep on an argument, after all who knows when you will wake up again. Always resolve wrangles before the Horlicks or live to rue the day.

Pisces is the sign that likes to say I love you – and then expects automatic forgiveness. Far better treat your loved ones to haddock and mushy peas down at Bardsley’s.

BRIGHTON’S SEXIEST CHIPPY 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN

01273 681256


007_LS435_Dani

7/28/09

2:58 PM

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DEFINITELY DANI 07

Dani am certain I am not the only person on the planet who suffers with a bizarre need to own something brand new and better than anyone else once in a while. My most recent obsession came in the form of a mobile phone. There was no frivolous spending involved; I was due an upgrade, but sat there on the uncomfortable stool made for tall people in the phone shop, staring at the wall of sparkly new phones. I knew which one I wanted. I wanted it because I knew not many others would have it yet as everyone else is still riding the iPhone wave. But there also appeared to be a little voice in my head that kept informing me my life would improve if I had that particular mobile phone. Rationally, I understood that there is no way a flippant item of technology I won’t ever fully understand could improve my life as I know it but somehow I still allowed myself to be convinced by this little voice.

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Dani ponders her spending habits and the anti-social nature of new technology

If anything, having a newer phone has only made my life more singular and distant from everyone else because now I don’t feel the need to actually meet up with my friends when I can chat to them constantly on Facebook or via email from wherever I am. Is all this new fangled technology just making us lonelier, giving us the illusion of always being connected while stripping us of our social skills? So this phone that the little voice convinced me to beg the shop assistant for has done nothing but make me overly eager to check my emails.

“A little voice in my head kept telling me my life would improve if I had that mobile”

Don’t shout There are a number of things that puzzle me, one of them, rather randomly, is why – in some adverts – do the people in them have to shout? There is the one for Cillit Bang and one for double glazing. Why are the men in the advert shouting? It’s bad enough that adverts seem to pop onto our screens louder than whatever we were watching, but when the person has to shout in order to get their point across, it gives the impression they are trying too hard, as if their product isn’t good enough so they have to over compensate by screaming information at you!

That little voice doesn’t only appear when a new mobile phone is in sight. It also has rather persuasive arguments when shoes, handbags or food is concerned. The shoes and handbags are self explanatory – why argue with the little voice over things as wonderful as shoes? – but the food thing gets me every time. If I am going anywhere – a supermarket, a restaurant or a café – I will always order enough food for three people. I never finish any meal because no one possibly could. I believe Retail Therapy is the technical term for the action of buying something one doesn’t actually need in order to elevate one’s mood. I have always been very aware of my own spending pattern and how it is closely linked to my mood at that precise time. But where did the feeling originate from? Perhaps those of us who find such pleasure in buying were incredibly poor in a previous life? My personal opinion on my own need to spend in spurts is because as a kid most of the things I owned were second hand. But that in itself

is flawed because I prefer antique to new on almost anything. It must be down to that little voice that sits there and perks up whenever I think something is too expensive. The strange thing is it never appears when I am pondering a cheap item – I think it’s called a conscience!

Comments? Get in touch: dani@thelatest.co.uk


008_LS435_newsphil/Council

7/30/09

3:02 PM

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08 LATEST NEWS

L7NEWS

News

Start afresh

Phil Mills reports on the success of Operation Reduction and the vegetables causing a stir

Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on reporting crime and vocational training

Reducing crime B

righton and Hove police have chalked up some of the best crime figures ever seen – thanks mainly to a three and a half year campaign. New figures show Operation Reduction, launched in October 2005, has produced a 33 per cent cut in total crime including a massive 35 per cent reduction in burglaries. Covert police operations, targeting key villains and teams of thieves and drug dealers, have led to no fewer than 441 arrests. The figures, revealed by Chief Constable Martin Richards, are so impressive that case studies from the city police are to be presented to the Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) national drugs conference in Bristol in November. The system of intelligence-gathering, surveillance and robust crackdowns could soon be rolled out across England and Wales. Mr Richards highlighted Operation Murray, a blitz on the importation of class A and B drugs from West Africa. Serious and Organised Crime Unit (SOCU) and Force Intelligence Branch (FIB) officers worked jointly with HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC) and last month one offender was arrested in possession of 20 kilos of cannabis. Operation Betula saw the arrest in Brighton of a courier in possession of 3.1kg of cocaine. Further investigations uncovered a stash address in Rottingdean where officers recovered 12kg of Class A drugs, cutting agent and 200 capsules of drugs. On 16 June 2009 two men were charged and bailed in respect of this. Sussex Police said they were satisfied with the results but a spokesman added: “We are anything but complacent and we would urge the public to get involved and to report anything suspicious to us immediately.”

Pick me Brighton graduates from the Academy of Creative Training protested in London. The graduates were dressed as giant vegetables for a Pick Me food campaign to encourage politicians including Prime Minister Gordon Brown to ditch meat at least once a week to make a positive impact on the environment.

This week I have been invited to attend an event organised by Sussex Crimestoppers to welcome new members of their partnership fundraising scheme. Crimestoppers is a fantastic charity and I’m delighted to be able to go and offer my support. Crimestoppers will be most familiar to people through the anonymous phone service which they operate for those who want to give information about crimes without fear of reprisal. However, they also run national campaigns to try to directly reduce crime in the community as well as having a programme to try and prevent young people falling into a life of crime before it is too late. In Brighton and Hove last year, overall crime fell by nearly nine per cent and I’m sure that the work that Crimestoppers do made a contribution to this reduction. On the subject of young people, I’m pleased to say that the numbers in the city

“The number of young people not in any sort of education or employment or training has fallen” who are not in any sort of education or employment or training has fallen significantly – bucking the national trend. This is testament to the hard work being done by the council with the city’s colleges, where the number of vocational training courses offered has increased dramatically. This is excellent news. It is vitally important that we do everything we can to ensure young people do not have to face the devastating consequences of long-term unemployment and have the skills to secure jobs when the economy starts to recover.


009_LS435_celebcity

7/30/09

1:15 PM

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AROUND TOWN 09

sponsored by

Celebcity

Nana moves in

with Jo Brooks

The golfer’s home up for sale in Withdean; Sussex success at Goodwood and a Royle moves in

Campbell’s green home New Zealand golfer Michael Campbell is to sell his Withdean home. Michael, who has owned the seven bedroom luxury house for over nine years, has decided to sell up and move to pastures new. Michael famously won the British Open a few years ago, putting him on the map. The house is on the market for £2.75 million and boasts its own putting green and bunker in the back garden – of course it does!

Taking a coffee break with Sue Addis, owner of Donatello restaurant, last week, our meeting was unexpectedly interrupted by actress Liz Smith who is best known for her role playing Nana in the Royle Family. Liz was accompanied by pal Brian Ralfe, who was pushing Liz, who is confined to a wheelchair, after suffering a recent stroke. Liz told me she has recently moved to Hove and is absolutely loving it! She grew fond of the city while filming a documentary for BBC3. Unfortunately during the filming, Liz suffered a mild stroke. This did not put Liz off upping sticks and moving to the seaside. Liz also told me she would be attending Pride and was going to watch the parade in a prime spot from the seafront – good on you, Liz!

Poulton’s Sweetheart The racing season is now in full swing, including the crème de la crème of racing at Glorious Goodwood. Sussex jockey Jamie Poulton didn’t disappoint as he won the opening race of the Sussex Stakes day with his horse aptly named Sweetheart. The horse is looked after by his daughter Eliza. Cheering along the winner was Cilla Black – as she calls everyone sweetheart – think Blind Date! See you all at Brighton’s equivalent of Goodwood this week at Ladies Day at Brighton racecourse.

Breakfast with Hugh I spent last weekend at Camp Bestival, which was like Brighton on a busy Saturday under canvas. The aim was to help out with the promotion of a new veggie food brand, Pick Me. The highlight was having bacon sandwiches in the River Café tent on Sunday morning. I caught up with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall late Saturday night as he had just finished watching next door neighbour P J Harvey. Hugh told me all about the breakfast offering that was available and how could we resist? I have got to say it was a brilliant sarnie!

Julie’s beauty news Congratulations to The Lanes Health and Beauty owner Julie Coates, who is the new beauty columnist for Now! magazine – Julie will be reviewing all the latest trends for us laymen! Photo: Catchpole

Michael Campbell

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of August 2009 excluding Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers


010_LS435_health

7/30/09

12:15 PM

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10 HEALTH

No sweat Power Plates classes have been working up some magic at Revitalise, says Clare Brown orget spending hours at the gym; forget having to lug around towels, toiletries, trainers and a change of clothes; forget having to shower after exercise or even changing at all! There’s an easier and faster way to tone up, increase your fitness, strengthen those muscles and look and feel fabulous. I’m talking about the revolutionary Power Plate® classes which have been proving popular at Revitalise in Hove since the start of this year. Power Plate is a state of the art device that delivers a full body workout in 25 minutes, which is the equivalent of spending over an hour at the gym. Too good to be true? Well that’s exactly what I thought – until I tried it. I was amazed, and now I am a total addict. A busy mum with three children, plus a business to run makes it near on impossible to find the time to get to the gym. Yet over the past six months I have managed to fit in two 30 minute Power Plate sessions a week and after every class I can feel my muscles have strengthened and toned. The great thing is you walk in, do the class, and walk out again all in half an hour! No need to get changed and no need to shower afterwards. You just carry on with your day. I always leave the class feeling I have worked really hard, I feel refreshed and de-stressed – and can’t wait for my next class (must be those endorphins)! After just a few months of two classes a week I feel strong and

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DROP A DRESS SIZE FOR SUMMER First class £10 – which is refunded when you book a course.

Power Plate machines aid weight loss, tone muscles, reduce the appearance of cellulite, and increase your overall fitness and wellbeing in as little as two 25-minute classes a week.

Revitalise, 86 Church Road (Opp. Hove Town Hall), Hove BN3 2EB 01273 738 389 health@revitalise-u.com www.revitalise-u.com

toned and my figure is looking better than before I had kids. So how does it work? Power Plate® machines vibrate when you exercise. These vibrations transmit waves of energy throughout the body, activating muscle contractions multiple times per second. This intensifies muscle contractions, enabling the participant to gain profound results in a short space of time. By holding the body in different exercise positions for up to 60 seconds per set, multiple muscle groups are activated simultaneously, resulting in accelerated muscle strength, tone and flexibility. Small group power plate classes are ideal. A teacher is on hand to go through a repertoire of exercises with you ensuring you get a balanced and full workout using correct form. Revitalise offer a full timetable of Power Plate classes seven days a week from as early as 7.30am and as late as 9pm. Classes last half an hour and they offer both general level toning classes and intermediate classes. To get you started you can book your first session at Revitalise half price for only £10 – and if you book any class package afterwards, Revitalise will refund your £10. So, what have you got to lose? Oh, apart from a few inches… Book now at Revitalise, 86 Church Road, Hove (opp Hove Town Hall), 01273 738389, health@revitalise-u.com, www.revitalise-u.com


011_LS435_Mallow

7/29/09

11:06 AM

Page 1

COVER STORY 11

Perfect shot Mallow Photography lets the pictures tell a very fashionable story allow Photography, now based in Brighton, specialises in vibrant, edgy fashion and portrait photography. Photographer Benjamin Mallow has worked extensively in the rock’n’roll arena, as well as shooting editorials and portraits for magazines, web outlets and top modelling agencies such as Storm, Oxygen and FM. Mallow prides himself on getting his shots right in-camera, without the need to retouch, saving the client money and lending his photographs a raw vibrancy far removed from the glossy artifice of more mainstream establishments. He is particularly interested in colour and movement, and works almost exclusively on location. “Fashion is all about the clothes; the progression from one outfit

M

to the next, and the scene can play a huge part in helping the story emerge from the background. You can’t get a story from a white background.” The recent move from London to Brighton has proved an enduring source of inspiration. “People here seem much less stuffy and being surrounded by so many creative people is both daunting and exciting. I love how vibrant Brighton is. And, of course, there’s the sea…” Mallow Photography is interested in hearing from fashion designers, clothing companies, modelling agencies and magazines, as well as people looking for a simple portrait that is anything but. Mallow Photography, tel: 0845 250 1678 or 07890 329128, email benjamin@mallowphotography.co.uk, visit: www.mallowphotography.co.uk


012_013_LS434_Hotlist

7/29/09

3:09 PM

Page 2

12 HOT LIST

latest hot

LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS

family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

Barney’s

Restaurants American JB’s Diner JB’s Diner is a quirky and cool nod to the classic American Diner, from the 50’s rock’n’roll and the retro dining booths to the stars ‘n’ stripes flying proud as you eat your way through their delicious USA themed menu. The burgers are generous, fresh and tasty, available in many different varieties, the Texan BBQ and ‘Across The Border’ Mexican being firm favourites. Other top sellers include the foot-long hotdogs and rack of ribs. Add a thick dairy ice-cream shake in many flavours (including Oreo!) and we have an American menu perfect for kids and adults alike, based looking out onto the very British Brighton beach. 31 Kings Road, Brighton BN1 1NR, 01273 771776, www.jbsdiner.co.uk

British and modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit – they do the best chips ever tasted and appear to have already acquired several celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk

Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and

Come and sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058 Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!

Chimney House With a stylish, cosy interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu includes locallycaught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a light lunch and glass of wine or a hearty threecourse dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708 www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk

The Dorset A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best peoplewatching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of home-cooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Mary’s are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423

Preston Park Tavern A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix in this family-friendly pub. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk

Chinese Gars Restaurant This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk

French The Arrogant Frog Brasserie Now relocated in the heart of Brighton, on the seafront. The new menu offers brunch, lunch, tea and dinner from 11am to 11pm, seven days a week. They’ve gone more mainstream but some old favourites remain, along with the French specials. Pop in for a croque

JB’s Diner

monsieur and coffee during the day, or treat yourself to a cocktail – they have over 30 on the menu. Parties of all sizes can be catered for. 64 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NA, 01273 721488

Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie just down from Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the promises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads. Eat in or take away, there’s also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412

Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95, wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059

We are one of the best leading buffet restaurants in Brighton, situated on the prominent London Road opposite St Peters Church, just 5 minutes walk from the railway station. With the most affordable and unbeatable prices, you'll enjoy plenty of dishes from the Orient, whose cuisine we have specialised in for over 10 years. We offer Seafood, Aromatic Crispy Duck, Japanese Sushi and Teppanyaki, Salad Bar and Ice Cream Corner. With over 50 items for lunch and 70 for dinner, and our attentive and friendly service at all times, we look forward to welcoming you in the near future.

Unbeatable Summer Offer Koba Bar

Lunch Mon-Sat £5.99 Evenings & all day Sunday £6.99

To have an entry in the latest hot list call Marie on 01273 818150

Valid until 15 August


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HOT LIST 13 New Steine Bistro This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £10.50 for two courses, 12.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £14.50 for two courses, £16.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 & 11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546 / 695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/ restaurant.asp

L’Église Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the twocourse lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868 www.legliserestaurant.co.uk

Indian Chaula’s Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a

Donatello

wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat, and a ‘light bites’ menu. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Become a Moshi member online www.moshimoshi.co.uk and get special discounts. Follow them on Twitter and Facebook. Moshi Moshi, Opticon, The Lanes, Bartholomew Square, Brighton BN1 1JS, 01273 719195

Fat Leo

Thai

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature setprice boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the everpopular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national award-winning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824 www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk

Japanese Moshi Moshi Described by The Times as having a “fanatical following,” Moshi Moshi has become one of the leading restaurants on the South Coast, popular for its fresh, handmade sushi.

Filled with stylish Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui and the restaurants of Bangkok. Browse the extensive menu of unique dishes and sample a cocktail or a bottle of wine from the comprehensive list. Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners. “Sanuk!” 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com

Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee

Italian Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on

Sabai

Spinelli Coffee

Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819


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14 STAGE | FILM

Stage listings

www.odeon.co.uk

0871 224 4007

Tuesday 4 August to Monday 17 August

Tuesday 4

Chichester Festival Theatre

Eastbourne: Devonshire Park Theatre

01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Oklahoma The story of an Oklahoma farm girl, Laurey, who is forced to choose between Curly, the happy-go-lucky cowboy she loves, and Judd, the mysterious loner she fears. • 4–29 August, Festival Theatre, 7.30pm please check with venue to confirm, £12–36

01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Last of the Summer Wine A stage version of the beloved BBC classic. Ruth Madoc (Hi-DiHi) leads a cast which includes; Tony Adams (Crossroads) and Steven Pinder (Brookside) in this world premiere from the pen of comedy-writing legend Roy Clarke OBE. • 4–8 August, 7.45pm plus Wed & Sat 2.30pm, £13.50–£19.50

BRUNO (18) 3.30, 6.15, 8.30 BRUNO: SNIPPED (15) 10.45am THE CLASS (15) 9.15pm CORALINE (PG) 11.30am G-FORCE 3D (PG) 1.15, 3.45, 6.00 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.45, 12.30, 1.45, 2.30, 3.45, 4.15, 5.15, 7.45, 8.45 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 10.30am, 11.15, 1.30 LAND OF THE LOST (12A) 11.24, 2.15, 5.30, 8.15 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 2.45, 5.15, 8.00 THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (15) 12.45, 3.15, 9.00 TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 11.00am

Gotta Sing Gotta Dance From Gershwin to Grease and Lloyd-Webber to Wicked, a cast of top West-End performers take you on a ride through the world of musical theatre in this choreographed show accompanied by the Gotta Sing Gotta Dance band. • 12 August–5 September, 7.45pm (No performances Sundays or Mondays) plus Wed & Sat 2.30pm (No Matinees Wed 12 & Sat 15), £13.50–£19.50

BRUNO (18) 3.30, 6.15, 8.30 BRUNO: SNIPPED (15) 10.45am CORALINE (PG) 11.30am G-FORCE 3D (PG) 1.15, 3.45, 6.00, 8.15 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.45, 12.30, 1.45, 2.30, 3.45, 4.15, 5.15, 6.00, 7.45, 8.45 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 110.30am ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 11.15, 1.30 LAND OF THE LOST (12A) 11.24, 2.15, 5.30, 8.15

The House of Special Purpose The story of the deposed Russian Tsar and his family as they are held captive by communist soldiers in post-revolution Russia. • 4–22 August, Minerva Theatre, 7.45pm please check with venue to confirm, £26.50 Grapes of Wrath An adaptation of John Steinbeck’s epic novel about a family of Oklahomans who lose everything after a drought leads to their eviction and forces them to move west toward California in search of stability and a home. • 4–28 August, Festival Theatre, 7.45pm please check with venue to confirm, £10–36. ENRON The World Premiere of Lucy Prebble’s play about one of corporate history’s most infamous scandals. • 4–29 August, Minerva Theatre, 7.45pm please check with venue to confirm, £26.50

The Hawth, Crawley 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk The Three Musketeers Illyria theatre group put on a one-off outdoor performance of the classic tale of D’Artagnan and his three musketeer friends in Crawley’s Worth Park Gardens. • 9 August, 6pm, £10.50/8.50 (Please note that the performance takes place in the Worth Park Gardens)

Eastbourne: Congress Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk High School Musical The Disney teen musical comes to Eastbourne. Basketball captain Troy and science buff Gabriella fight peer pressure and attempt to secure the lead roles in the school play. • 4–8 August, 7pm plus Thurs & Sat 2.30pm, £20–£31

Wednesday 5

08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Annie The classic Broadway musical about an orphaned girl who is adopted into the luxurious home of wealthy businessman Oliver Warbucks comes to Brighton. • 17–22 August, 7.45pm plus Thurs & Sat 2.30pm, £13–£27 The Three Musketeers

Thursday 6 BRUNO (18) 3.30, 6.15, 8.30 BRUNO: SNIPPED (15) 10.45am CORALINE (PG) 11.30am THE DAMNED UNITED (15) 10.30am GI JOE (12A) 1.00, 3.45, 6.30, 9.15 G-FORCE 3D (PG) 1.15, 3.45, 6.00, 8.15 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.45, 12.30, 1.45, 2.30, 3.45, 4.15, 5.15, 6.00, 7.45 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 110.30am ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 11.15, 1.30 LAND OF THE LOST (12A) 11.24, 2.15, 5.30, 8.15 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 2.45, 5.15, 8.00 THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (15) 12.45, 3.15, 9.00 TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 11.00am THE UGLY TRUTH (15) 6.15, 8.45

Films showing Fri 7–Mon 10 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM TIMES

www.picturehouses.co.uk

01273 626261 Tuesday 4

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2 (PG) 11.00am

COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 THIS SPORTING LIFE (12A) 11.00am

Saturday 8

Wednesday 5

CHICKEN LITTLE (U) 11.00am MESRINE: KILLER INSTINCT (15) 4.00, 9.00

COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 11.00, 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00

Sunday 9

Thursday 6

Monday 10

COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 CORALINE 2D (PG) 11.00am

Friday 7

Theatre Royal

THE PROPOSAL (12A) 2.45, 5.15, 8.00 THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (15) 12.45, 3.15, 9.00 TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (12A) 11.00am THE UGLY TRUTH (15) 12.15, 2.30, 4.45, 7.00, 9.15

MESRINE: KILLER INSTINCT (15) 4.00, 9.00 MESRINE: KILLER INSTINCT (15) 4.00, 9.00 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2 (PG) 11.00am

MESRINE: KILLER INSTINCT (15) 4.00, 9.00

www.cineworld.co.uk

0871 200 2000 Tuesday 4 BRUNO (18) 3.10, 5.15, 7.20, 9.30 COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 1.00, 3.35, 6.10, 8.50 G-FORCE (PG) 10.10, 12.30, 2.50, 5.10, 7.30, 9.45 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.20, 12.40, 1.40, 4.10, 5.00, 7.40, 8.30 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 2D (U) 10.40, 12.50 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 6.50 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 10.30, 1.10, 3.50, 6.30, 9.10 TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (15) 12.50, 1.20, 4.00, 6.40, 9.20 TELSTAR (15) 9.00pm

Wednesday 5 BRUNO (18) 3.10, 5.15, 7.20, 9.30 COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 1.00, 3.35, 6.10, 8.50 G-FORCE (PG) 10.10, 12.30, 2.50, 5.10, 7.30, 9.45 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.20, 1.40, 5.00, 8.30 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 2D (U) 10.40, 12.50

ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 6.50 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 10.30, 1.10, 3.50, 6.30, 9.10 TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (15) 12.50, 1.20, 4.00, 6.40, 9.20 TELSTAR (15) 9.00pm THE UGLY TRUTH (15) 11.30, 1.50, 4.10, 6.20, 8.40

Thursday 6 BRUNO (18) 9.00 COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 1.00, 3.35, 6.10, 8.50 G-FORCE (PG) 10.10, 12.30, 2.50, 5.10, 7.30, 9.45 GI JOE (PG) 10.40, 1.30, 4.10, 6.20, 8.40 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.20, 1.40, 5.00, 8.30 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS 3D (U) 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 6.50 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 10.30, 1.10, 3.50, 6.30, 9.10 TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (15) 12.50, 1.20, 4.00, 6.40, 9.20 THE UGLY TRUTH (15) 11.30, 1.50, 4.10, 6.20, 8.40

Films showing Friday 7–Monday 10 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM TIMES

www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

01903 206206 Tues 4–Thurs 6

Fri 7– Mon 10

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 12.45, 4.00, 7.30 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 1.30 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 5.00, 8.00

THE UGLY TRUTH (15) 5.30, 8.00

Sat 8 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2 (PG) 10.15am

CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM TIMES


015_LS435 gaylistings/art

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GAY LISTINGS | ART 15

Gay listings Tuesday 4 to Monday 10 August Tuesday 4 Amsterdam Tuesday Social. Chase away the Monday blues with wine and music. 7pm, free Brighton Tavern Games Galore. Sticking it to maturity. 12pm, free Charles Street Bar Two’s Company. A double dose of cabaret from Maisie Trollette and Miss Jason. 9pm, free Ghetto Quiz Alicious and Twisted Karaoke. Hosted by Mistress Cat. 8pm, free Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday. Friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Drag King Night. Relax with a handsome king. 8pm, free Queen’s Arms Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free Revenge Sound as a Pound. A mid-week mashup throwing out 80s, 90s, 00s, electro, pop, dance and cheese. 10.30pm, £1 The Basement Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free

Wednesday 5 Amsterdam Student Karaoke. 8pm, free Brighton Tavern Wednesday’s Wine Club. 12pm, free Ghetto Transition. DJ Peter Von Sleaze spins rock, metal and 80s. 10pm, £2.50 Latest Music Bar Gay Tango. 7–8pm absolute beginners, 8–9.30pm improvers, 9.30–11pm practical/social dancing. From 7pm, £10 Legends Gabbi’s Fun and Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm.11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre In-house Darts League. Nightly and annual prizes. 8pm, £3 Queen’s Arms Anything Goes! Karaoke, bingo, a music quiz and more with DJ Kamp Kevin. 12pm–1am, free R-Bar The Midweek Shuffle. Brighton’s hottest new DJ, Zack Hadley rocks R-Bar with cheesy pop, chart, 90s dance and club. 12pm. Revenge London to Brighton. Bringing the upfront house sounds of London ‘Taaahn’ to Brighton with MOS and Housexy resident, Jake Duval. 10.30pm–3am, £4/2 The Basement Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free

R-Bar Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free Revenge Lollipop vs Altitude.Top pop tunes from Stewart T plus upstairs find funky vocal house with DJ Alex Baker and guests. 10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Girly pop and handbag. 11pm–4am, free The PV at The Jury’s Out Thank Funk it’s Friday. Funk, disco and retro classics. 12pm. The Zone Miss Hap. Cabaret with the talented Miss Hap. 9.30pm, free

Saturday 8 Amsterdam Sun Downers + Late Night Bar. The best beach house music in Town. 8pm–5am, free. Charles Street Club Mardi Gras. A blend of Gogo boys, feathered girls, HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3. Ghetto Wigout. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. 10pm, free b4 11pm Legends Pre-Ignition. DJs from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Queen Jo at the Marly. HRH Queen Josephine joins the Marlborough for a little funky house fabulousness. 9pm, free Queen’s Arms Cabaret: Lillie La France + Karaoke. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30pm–5.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin til midnight! Bar open 12pm, free R-Bar Kinky Classics. From 9pm with Dulcie Danger. Bar open 12pm–7am, free Revenge Kinky Dangerous. Two top DJs, two floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 5.5 hours of frolics.10.30pm–4am, £7/3 The Basement Ignition. Funky house and chart remixes from DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free The PV at The Jury’s Out Viva Las Divas + Booty Call. Live music from 6pm then guest DJs spin some body shakin’ summer rollers. 12pm, free. The Zone Jo Francis 9.30pm, free

Sunday 9

Charles Street Bar & Club Mad Cow XXL – My Cow is on Fire. DJs Li’l Alex and LeeRoy spinning funky house across two floors 8pm–3am, £1 Ghetto Diirty. Miss Masters spins the best Diirty electro-house. 10.30pm, free b4 11 Marlborough Bar and Theatre Open Mic Night. Hosted by Lucy Checkley. 9pm, free Queen’s Arms See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-Bar Pre-Girls on Top Party. Verity sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free Revenge Girls on Top. Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes.10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30pm with passes, £4/5 after The Basement DLite. Commercial house tracks. 11pm–4am, free

Amsterdam Sunday Lunch and Connie’s Karaoke. Roast then karaoke from 8pm. 12pm–1am, free Audio Sunday Sundae. Disco tinged classic dance with Kate Wildblood and co. 6pm, £5/3 Charles Street Bar Showtime. With a show as deliciously decadent as her name, it's Cookie! 7.15pm, free Ghetto EuroTrash. Anything goes at this crazy art-pop-cabaret shenanigan! 9pm, free. Legends Sunday Cabaret with Miss Jason. 3.15pm, free Queen’s Arms Cabaret: Boy George Experience and Karaoke. (5.30pm). 12pm, free R-Bar Sublime Sundays and Barmy Bingo. 12pm–2am, free Revenge Rainbow Beats. Funky house beats with a spanish twist. 10.30pm–4am, £tbc. The Basement Fever. Disco and pop remixes. 11pm–4am, free

Friday 7

Monday 10

Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies. Bar open 11am, free Charles Street Club Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 Doctor Brightons Flauncy Friday. Ms Masters gets her paws on the decks to spin some filthy funky dance and house. 9.30pm–2am, free Ghetto Popstarz. Indie. 10pm, free b4 11pm Legends Pre-Celebration. Pure Pop. 7pm, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Girl’s Night. 2 floors of mayhem with guest DJs. 8pm, free Queen’s Arms Camp Attack. Definitive handbag, commercial and camp tunes with DJ. Plus unlimited drinks wristbands for £20! 9pm

Amsterdam Funky Mondays. 12pm, free Charles Street Club Studio 150. 10pm–2am, £1.50 Ghetto Frat Party. Indie, electro and credible pop plus drinking games! 10pm, £1.50 Legends Dave Lynn and Friends. Hysterical night of cabaret from 9.30pm. 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Trans Night. Hosted with the Clare Project. 8.30pm, free Queen’s Arms Skint + Karaoke. 12pm–1am R-Bar Miss Jason’s Madhouse. Regular cabaret, a Wii Zone and free pool! 10pm, free The Basement Chic. Decades of delicious disco anthems. 11pm–4am, free

Thursday 6

For full listings visit www.thelatest.co.uk

Art rocks Acclaimed photographer Steve Gullick is at Fairtrade Gallery this month Steve Gullick has been photographing many of the biggest names in rock’n’roll for over twenty years, making his name at Sounds before migrating to NME and freelancing for many magazines. From Mark E. Smith to Nirvana, and Nick Cave to Elliot Smith, Gullick has been attracted to those on the edges, those musicians who seem to epitomise the visceral and artistic essence of rock’n’roll. Highly regarded within his field and by musicians alike, he’s also got a band! They’re called Tenebrous Liar and will be playing in Brighton late September. Steve Gullick, Fairtrade Gallery, 26 Montague Place, Brighton

Art listings Ditchling Museum Church Lane, Ditchling 01273 844744 Drawn from Ditchling: Portraits from a Sussex Village Portraits from the museum’s collection – paintings and drawings, caricatures and photographs, word and film – celebrate the artists who have lived in Ditchling as well as local people who have drawn, painted and photographed in this village. • Until December 2009, Tues–Sat 10.30am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm

Hove Museum & Art Gallery New Church Road, Hove Deviants Exhibition of 16 pieces from the Crafts Council’s Collection that deviate wildly from what we think as traditional craft. • Until 13 September

Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens 01273 290900 The American Scene: Prints From Hopper to Pollock 56 modern American artists are featured in this popular exhibition documenting America from the turn of the century to the 1950s. • Until 31 Aug, Tues 10am–7pm, Wed–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm

Latest Music Bar 14–17 Manchester Street Brighton 01273 687171 Diana Frangi Photographic exhibition documenting the Argentinianborn photographer’s love of all things music; from locals The Levellers to Fatboy Slim, The Perils to Herbie Flowers. • Mon–Sun 9am–late

Phoenix Arts Gallery 10–14 Waterloo Place Brighton 01273 603700 Fabric of War Fabric of War records personal and collective histories of conflict, translated into paper from uniforms and monuments. The cathartic artworks of Combat Paper Project are executed by veterans using paper made from uniforms imbued with private memories, while Marshall Weber’s rubbings trace the narrative of war imprinted in its monuments. • Until 16 August, Wed–Sun 11am–5pm

De La Warr Pavilion Bexhill-on-Sea 01424 229111 Beuys Is Here: Sculpture Object Action Revolution Exhibition of sculpture by Joseph Beuys. • Until 27 September, Mon–Fri 10am–5pm


016_LS435 Music_News

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16 MUSIC NEWS

latest music

with Jeff Hemmings

★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★

news ▲

Vineyard fundraiser gig Guitarist Gary Moore is to headline an open air gig at a Sussex vineyard this week. Joining Gary Moore will be soul funk pioneer Geno Washington. Vibes from the Vines has been set up to raise money for Cancer Research UK. It began six years go in the vineyard owned by Sue Mosey, in response to her husband being diagnosed with ‘this unspeakable disease.‘ This is the fourth Vibes from the Vines event. So far it has raised £60,000 for Cancer Research UK. The gig has a 5000 capacity and runs from noon to midnight. Tickets are £25/£20, under 10s are free. www.vibesfromthevines.co.uk Saturday 8 August, Horam, East Sussex

Gary Moore

Welsh psychedelic pop rockers are one of the headline acts at Beachdown. 28–31 Aug, Beachdown Festival

The much loved The Hat play their final shows this month. Dan Clarke tells Jeff Hemmings why tarted as a twosome back in ‘04 The Hat quickly became one of the best and most-loved bands in Brighton. But their time is up. They’ve decided to call it a day and in celebration they’ve decided to organise back-to-back gigs at Komedia and, rather perversely, issue their debut album! “It seems the natural time to stop, the right point in our lives to say ‘thank you very much,‘“ says Dan Clarke, songwriter, guitarist and one of the four superb musicians and writers who make up The Hat. “I had a very clear idea of what The Hat should be; it was about stories and creating soundtracks to them. But I didn’t plan for the combination of the elements with the band.” He’s referring to Buster Cottam, Dave Stenhouse and Dave Sanderson, all outstanding musicians and creative sparks in the own right, and who have contributed to making this foursome a strongly democratic unit. How would you describe your sound? “It’s storytelling with gospel-style harmonies, cinematic type sounds. We try and explore how music and stories can work together.” The Hat have enjoyed exalted status here in Brighton where their shows regularly packed out and which have always been more than just a gig; random jams that spring from the thoughts of anyone there, audience participation and much tomfoolery are features of their shows. And for their final two gigs they’ll be pulling out all the stops. “We’ll be playing all our repertoire spread over the two nights,

S

the

Big

Super Furry Animals

Hats off

gig

celebrating what we’ve created and those who have supported us.” You’ve also decided to turn convention on its head by releasing your debut album at the end of your career… “It’s odd, I know, but the album is finally ready! We decided that we wanted our music out there in the world, and for everyone who comes to our gig there will be an album included in the ticket price.” Well, it’s close to the end of the road for this extraordinary band who combined entertainment and musicianship and whose fans always left a gig with a smile on their face. “It’s quite weird. We made the decision and then we had to tell everyone! A lot of people were upset and felt strongly about it. But we’ve poured ridiculous amounts of time, energy and love into it. It’s been magical, but that’s all folks!“ The Hat’s Final Fanfare, 14 & 15 August, Komedia

UPCOMING GIGS Bill Callahan 18 Aug, St. George’s Church Wedding Present 22 Aug, Concorde 2 Sister Sledge 27 Aug, Concorde 2 Beachdown 28–31 August Average White Band 8 Sept, Concorde 2 Talvin Singh 23 Sept, Concorde 2 Kelly Joe Phelps 29 Sept, Komedia Brighton Live 30 Sept–3 Oct Hockey 1 October, Digital Bat For Lashes 2 Oct, Dome Joan Baez 5 Oct, Dome Zero 7 6 Oct, Dome Wilko Johnson 8 October, Old Market Rich Hawley 9 October, De La Warr Skindred 19 Oct, Concorde 2

Orquesta Buena Social Club 20 Oct, Dome Bloc Party 24 Oct, Brighton Centre Indigo Girls 26 October, Concorde 2 Dizzee Rascal 27 Oct, Dome Jimmy Webb 1 Nov, Dome Reverend & The Makers 2 Nov, Concorde 2 Seth Lakeman 6 Nov, Corn Exchange The Specials 19 Nov, Brighton Centre Dreadzone 20 Nov, Komedia Ryuichi Sakamoto 27 Nov, Dome UB40 9 Dec, Brighton Centre Alice Cooper 5 Dec, Brighton Centre James Morrison 8 Dec, Brighton Centre Jools Holland 12 Dec, Brighton Centre Lily Allen 13 Dec, Brighton Centre


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MUSIC 17

Music listings

Music highlights

Tuesday 4 to Monday 10 August

Tuesday 4 to Monday 10 August

Tuesday 4 Natalie Imbruglia The singer-songwriter behind the massive 90s hit ‘Torn‘ and former Neighbours star returns. NB: venue has changed from the Hanbury Club. Concorde 2, 8pm, £10 Open Mic The Fountain Head, 8pm, free The Safe Harbour Portsmouth punk rock four piece. Freebutt, 8pm, £tbc Slip Jam B Brighton’s only hip-hop open mic night. The Hope, 8pm, free Voodoo Glow Skulls Ska punk veterans blending English and Spanish lyrics with musical influences from their native California and Mexico. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £8 Wavves Energetic, crunchy-yet-melodic sounding San Diego pop-punk. Audio,7pm, £7.50

Wednesday 5 The Big Swing Rat Pack and Bobby Darin stylings in this swing tribute. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £8–10 Easy Star All-Stars The band responsible for dub covers of Radiohead and Pink Floyd! Bizarre. Concorde 2, 8pm, £15 None The Less + Young Guns Metal and rock from Watford. Engine Rooms, 7pm, £tbc Open Mac Night Open mic night for electronic music. Bring your laptops and samplers and join in! Sidewinder, 8pm, free Sound Factory: Thunk + Ollie Elmes + Louis May + Harry Crampton New and unsigned bands showcase. The Providence, 8pm, £1

Thursday 6 Birdeatsbaby Young Brighton band influenced by the theatrical melancholy of artists such as Dresden Dolls. Hectors House, 8pm, £tbc The Sly-Tones + Los + Theseus Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £tbc They Cried Land + Dan Shears + Buz Featuring the dark, carnival-esque folk music of singer-songwriter Dan Shears. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Upon Clouds Freebutt, 7pm, £5

Friday 7 Brighton Jazz Club Featuring live music from UK jazz artists. Komedia, 8pm, £tbc Deadlines + Villareal + The Park Local bands line-up, including the quality indie rock of Villareal. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc John Crampton A one man blues band evoking the spirit of the legends. Neptune, 8pm, £tbc Sound Factory: Jolly Rangers + Pigalle + Chop Chop New and unsigned acts line up. The Providence, 8pm, £1

Saturday 8 Brighton Music Scene Presents BMS 2nd Birthday Party: The Die Vibes + 900 Spaces + Emma Dollydagger Special gig to celebrate 2 years of the Brighton Music Scene collective. With Dollydagger DJs. Pavilion Tavern, 10pm, £5

Deadbeat Descendant + Accelerator Retrofried Brighton garage rockers influenced by The Stooges. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Club Kovak Brightonian indie-electro kids Kovak play live with a guest DJ slot from the mighty Go! Team. Latest Music Bar, 8.30pm, £3 Soul Town + The Doo Wop Dolls Footstomping soul and funk band with covers act support. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £6 Sound Factory: Ruderalis + How High? + Snap Dodgems New and unsigned acts line up. The Providence, 8pm, £1

Easy Star All-Stars

Sunday 9 The Ammonites + Stomp Mike + Thesius + Nick Stuart The Neptune, 8:30pm, £tbc Acoustic Open Mic Chilled out acoustic open mic sessions. Portland Rock Bar, 8pm, free Rock Brighton Unplugged Open mic night. The Globe, 9pm, free William D Drake Piano-based psychedelia. Brunswick, 8pm, £7

Monday 10 Kissy Sell Out + David Parr + Blah Blah Blah DJs + Vincent Manganaro Ever so fashionable electro-pop type not dissimilar to the great Patrick Wolf. Audio, 9pm, £7 Blakfish Birmingham rockers fresh from the heaviness of Sonisphere. Freebutt, 8pm, £6 Breakthrough with Rough Trade Catch a few breaking acts before they’re playing bigger venues. Latest Music Bar, 7.30pm, £5/4 The Dickies Veteran, cult Californian punk heroes. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £10 H’Open Mic Open mic, as if you didn't know. The Hope, 8pm, free The Skuzzies + My Name In Lights Londonbased power punk influenced by the likes of the New York Dolls and The Only Ones. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Nick Aldwinckle

Natalie Imbruglia The former Neighbours star was all set for a ‘secret’ show, but as word got out, ticket demand increased and so the gig is now taking place at Concorde 2. Best known for the smash hit ‘Torn,‘ apparently she has collaborated with Coldplay’s Chris Martin on her forthcoming new album, which includes some songs written by the man himself. NB: venue has now changed from the Hanbury Club. Tuesday 4 August, Concorde 2 Easy Star All-Stars Welcome return for this New York based outfit who will be performing songs from their three albums to date. Their extraordinary interpretations of these classic albums (by, just in case you don’t know, Pink Floyd, Radiohead and The Beatles respectively) is helped along by a slew of top notch reggae singers such as Sugar Minott, Toots & The Maytals, and Sean Paul. Late 70s/early 80s reggae is what they like best especially when it’s slowed a notch or two and dubbed out. What’s next for the All-Stars? Wednesday 5 August, Concorde 2 Club Kovak Long running electro dance band who released the superb Heroes and High Heels album earlier in the year. Now with a new singer they are re-activating their Club Kovak, a residency that affords them the opportunity to

play live but also to entice some special guests. The Go! Team (or some of) will be DJing at the night while kicking off proceedings are electro whizz kids Videodrome and DJ Contra who recently remixed The Rapture as well as Kovak’s last single. The night will be hosted by bubbly Juice FM drivetime presenter Sarah Powell. Saturday 8 August, Latest Music Bar William D Drake Cardiacs’ fans are known as some of the most obsessed around; they just cannot get enough of the oddball experimental rock of this seminal outfit. As a consolation for their lack of activity their former keyboardist William D Drake is doing the rounds. Expect some extraordinary piano compositions and psychedelic songs with harmonium accompaniment and voices. Not unlike Robert Wyatt. Support comes from Crayola Lectern. Sunday 9 August, Brunswick The Sly-Tones + Los + Theseus Doors-esque psychedelic rockers but with a zanier edge. garage rock meets cosmic meltdown and the odd organ wig-out. Lead singer Ashley Edwards does an excellent impersonation of Jim Morrison’s baritone drawl, but The Sly-Tones have enough original songs in the baggage to make them er, original. Thursday 6 August, Latest Music Bar


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18 MUSIC REVIEWS | CHART

REVIEWS A weekly review of local and national releases onsistently cited as one of the best albums ever (and often considered the best), The Stone Roses self-titled debut album continues to inspire awe and wonder. Released at the time of the ‘baggy’ explosion, it was the defining moment in the Madchester scene that had already spawned bands such as Happy Mondays, Inspiral Carpets and James. Helped by the fact that the band only made one more album (the not so great The Second Coming) and that the personalities and conflicts within the group were as much a part of the story as the music, the album has attained exalted status, a rarefied beast upon the landfill tip of so-so music. Listening to it in ‘09, it’s easy to see why it’s deemed so special. From psychedelia to country, the musicianship is effortless, the songs wonderful and the whole vibe is transfixing – gentle, sometimes laid back, sometimes urgent grooves and beats, that speak of a generation coming to terms with the closing chapter of the Thatcher era and the end of the cold war. Certainly not the greatest band (like The Specials, to have only one good work in the portfolio excludes the idea of greatness), but in The Stone Roses we have one of the defining albums of the British rock’n’roll era. Why’s it being re-released? Well, it‘s 20 years since the original release. There are several formats, lots of digital remastering plus bonus features such as unseen footage and additional tracks. Dub Colossus have been making appearances across the festivals and clubs of Europe of late, and winning audiences for their fusion of dub, jazz, trip hop and African music; a supremely laidback concoction for the head as well as the feet. Put together by exTransglobal Underground founder Dubulah (Nick Page) and featuring some major names in the Addis Ababa music scene, the initial ‘field’ recordings were then transplanted to the Real World Studios in the UK where A Town Called Addis was put together with musicians flown in from the capital of Ethiopia. Inspired by traditional styles and the golden age of ‘ethiopique beats’ and ‘ethiojazz’, it’s an impressive and highly textured headphone type affair. San Francisco duo The Dodos follow up last year’s excellent Visiter with Time To Die, another wildly percussive affair fused with acoustic guitar. With the addition of a vibraphone they potentially have come up with something different, but all too often the songs struggle to gain momentum, and end up grating rather than transfixing. Finally, The Nextmen have delivered another friendly mash up of soul, funk, hip hop, reggae, grime and much more on the aptly titled new album Join The Dots. Featuring guest vocals from Dynamite MC, Betty Steeles, Lindsay West, Jimmy Screech and Johnny Tarr this is exactly how it should be – adventurous and darn funky.

C

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart

Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10 ★ 1 Pam Weekes – The Rhythm ★ 2 Crosis+BOC – Texnology 3 CoppaTop – Cordial Sunshine 4 The Fooley Mantras – Best in People 5 Jaybee – Oskar and Eli 6 Portslade – Waking Up 7 Fireworks For Summer – Building Fires... 8 Panos Christofi – I’ll Never Know 9 The Last Cry – Rebekka 10 Rubber Johnny – Alzheimer It’s all change at the top of the chart this week as a batch of new entries storm the summit. Soul vocalist Pam Weekes’ laid back ‘The Rhythm’ leads the pack, with DJs Crosis+BOC’s Texnology taking the number two slot. CoppaTop’s upbeat drum’n’bass pushes ‘Cordial Sunshine’ to three as indie rockers The Fooley Mantras take four. Finally, the top five wouldn’t be the same without at least one Jaybee track, would it? 11 N-D-E Bad Habit 12 No Sharp Objects The Wrong Kind of Love 13 No Sharp Objects Home 14 Chaos Borne Watching 15 Jaybee Twilight 16 The Woo!worths Idle Hands 17 Project Lumino Sun 18 Tubba 3 Ply Gerhard 19 Chaos Borne The Moment 20 EVOH I Love Brighton

21 Chaos Borne I Will 22 Resurrection Surround me 23 N-D-E Incredible Machine 24 900 Spaces Shake it Up 25 mr resonate Brighton Bubblin feat. Lionheart 26 Jaybee My Imaginary Friend 27 Earth Below Different View 28 Jack the Cad Brighton 29 Mike and Marge Every Single Leaf 30 Nig2dmic We Made This – Me Rapping with Eminem

Submit your music and videos www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart

Wedding Special To feature in our forthcoming wedding special contact Rachel on 01273 818150 ext105 or email rachelb@thelatest.co.uk

SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos


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BARS & CLUBS 19

Bar & Club listings

Bar & Club highlights

Tuesday 4 to Monday 10 August

Tuesday 4 to Monday 10 August

Tuesday 4 Brighton Coalition Latin Fever. Fine salsa and Latin rhythms. 10pm–2am, free Digital Glitterati. 11pm–3am, £5/3 NUS Funky Buddha Lounge Subsplash. All star dub tracks and dub on the rising.10.30pm, £3/free New Hero This Exists. Fresh music for cool kids! 10pm, £2 Pavilion Tavern Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal.10.30pm–3am, £3/1

Wednesday 5 Audio Supercharged. Benny Page blasts in for a Supercharged debut. 11pm–2.30am, £5/3 NUS Digital The Poundance. A mash up of your favourite indie, R’n’B, electro, house, classics, dubstep and chart tracks.11pm–3.30am, £1 Po Na Na Urban Chic. R’n’B, hip-hop, dance hall and funky house. 10pm, £2/free Volks Dub Tek. Filthy midweek basslines. 10pm–4am, £3/free

Thursday 6 Audio Shameless presents Quids In. 11pm, £1 Funky Buddha Lounge Love Lockdown. 7.30pm, £tbc Honey Club Contagious. House and dance anthems. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1 Jam Thursday Night Fish Fry. A sweat box of 50’s rhythm & blues and original Jamaican ska. 10pm–2am, £3. New Hero Boogaloo Stu’s Pop Kraft Swap Shop. Primary pop overload plus swap your gear with others from vintage clothes to funny ornaments! 10pm–2am, £2. Po Na Na Secret Discotheque. Return to the 80s. 10pm–3am, £3/2

Friday 7 Audio Hospitality. 11pm–4am, £10/8. Brighton Coalition We Made You. Funky electro house music from The Hoxton Whores. 11pm, £6 b4 midnight. Funky Buddha Lounge Release Presents ‘La Playa.‘ The best in Latin House, Hip Hop and Reggaeton. 11pm-6am, £6/8 Funky Fish The Funky Fish Club. Soul, funk, old skool, 60s and 70s tunes. 10pm–3am, £6/3.50 Honey Club Hardsouth. Diamond blasting hard dance with Karim and Andy M. 11pm–5am, £10-5. New Hero Parisian Police present Is There Any Justice? Pay homage to the full power of electro-Christian-club killers JUS†ICE and other French masters! 10pm–3am, £3. Ocean Rooms Strobe. Strobe residents spinning an eclectic mash-up of styles plus pound drinks when the strobe strikes. 10.30pm, £2 Pavilion Tavern Kick Out The Jams. Rock’n’Roll mayhem. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 The Hope Tribe Of Kings. A night of Reggae, Roots and culture music. 9pm–2am, £5 b4 12

Volks The Regime Free Party. All the usual bassed-out filth except this time it’s FREE! 11pm–5am, free.

with Jaime Pettit

Saturday 8 Audio Summer Of Love. The don of free parties brings house, electro and disco with Bloggers’ Delight feat. Fredski, Casper C and NikNikNik. 11pm–4am, free. Brighton Coalition Floorplay. 10.30pm–4am, £10/8. Followed by: Blow The After Party. Lose your head to underground house, electro and techno. 3am–8am, £7/4. Digital DPM Like Spunk. 11pm–4am, £10/8. Engine Rooms Punk Rock Karaoke. 10pm–3am, £2. Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. With Juice Fm’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10 Followed By: Marlon M. 3am, £5/3 Honey Club Sevensins. Big room electro, trance and house. 10.30pm–5am, £12/5 NUS. Jam EBoogie. E-lectronic Pop. 9pm–2am, free Komedia Stone To The Bone. Spinning psychedelic soul, blaxploitation, disco, 70s Motown, Philly Soul and jazz grooves. 11pm, £5. La Tropicale Houseworks. Quality house music from across the world. 8pm–4am, £6/free b4 11 Life (Previously Arc) Hold Up. Unpretentious Indie night. 11pm–4am, £5 New Hero It is Still 1985. Alternative 80s night full of adventurous tunes! 10pm, £3 Ocean Rooms The Fiesta. What better way to celebrate the arrival of summer than with the latin intensity of The Fiesta? 11pm–8am, £8/6. Om Bar and Club Heavy Disco. Deep disco tech. 9pm, free Pavilion Tavern Dollydagger. Indie, Alt, punk and electro. 10pm–3am, £6/5. Po Na Na Silk. R’n’B, funky house, commercial. 10pm–3am, £10/5 The Hanbury Club We Luv Summer Pop. Hoping to shower us in sunny rays and summer anthems! 7pm–2am, £6/8 Volks Love, Trouble, Heartache and Misery. Spinning northern soul and Motown dancers. 10pm–3am, £5.

Seven Sins This week on headline duty, please welcome Steve Mac and Dale Anderson. Expect the cream of funky house, electro house, dirty house, tech house, funky techno, electro techno and R’n’B. Steve nestles in the very top tier of the world’s DJs/producers, while Dale has played at Ministry of Sound, Renaissance and Slinky and is signed to Global Underground. Seven bars, five rooms, seafront terrace, chronic beats... go for it. Saturday 8 August, Honey club Floorplay Congratulations to Prok and Fitch, Brighton’s workaholic DJ and production duo. Having recently celebrated their first birthday with Floorplay, they are ready to rocksteady with their usual hedonistic housey hareem, including DJs The Trophy Twins, Lee Garrett and James Wilkinson. Expect a cocktail of filthy tech, dancefloor classics with just a twist of electrohouse for full satisfaction. Saturday 8 August, Coalition

Sunday 9 Life (Previously Arc) Maxxi Soundsystem. Full on party soundsystem. 6pm, free. The Open House We Change the Frequency Global tunes from across the genres. 8pm, free

Monday 10 Brighton Coalition Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free Honey Club Disco Babe.10.30pm–2.30am,£3/1 Jam Sessions. D’n’B, dub step, electro and house. 10pm–2am, £tbc Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys. 10pm–2.30am, £3/1 Jaime Pettit

Prok and Fitch

We Luv Summer Pop Here comes the sun at The Hanbury Club. We Luv Pop chews up all things summery and blows a big bubble of all time favourite summer pop anthems while the infamous ‘videowall’ provides glorious technicolour eye candy. Expect to hear fruity offerings from the likes of the Beach Boys, Katrina and the Waves, Shaggy, Los Del Rio, Groove Armada, Jazzy Jeff, Wham!, Madonna and Shabba Ranx to name a few rays of sunshine. All the best bits of summer bar the sunburn. Bliss. Saturday 8 August, The Hanbury Club Stone to the Bone Very cool evening of superbad 70s soul, funk and disco. According to the Guardian Guide “A far classier blend of Philly soul, blaxploitation, 70s motown, disco and afrobeat!“ DJs Chris King (Da Doo Ron Ron) and Jon Slade (Born Bad and the Ookey Ook) will get your funky ‘fro twitching to the likes of James Brown, Marvin Gaye, Curtis Mayfield, Bob Marley, Sly Stone, The Temptations, Isaac Hayes, Quincy Jones, Al Green, Fela Kuti, Jimi Hendrix, Aretha Franklin, et al. Class for your brass, get a little rhythm for your spirit and funk for your soul. Saturday 8 August, Komedia


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20 DANI | FILMS ON TV

latestTV

YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE Dani on TV

4 – 10 AUGUST

She says it how she sees it

Inside Natures Giants Channel 4, Mondays, 9pm id you see this? Or should I say, could you manage to watch this? I watched about ten minutes and had to turn over. It really freaked me out. What do they think may be hiding in these animals we don’t already know? In the name of research I sat myself down behind a pillow and thought I would give it a go. From what I heard, the documentary seemed to serve as a place for some weird scientist to point out that there can’t possibly be a God because nature must have created these animals. I don’t know about you but I didn’t need to see the insides of a whale to make up my mind as to what religion I would follow (or not as the case may be). The strange thing is I was quite interested in seeing that live human autopsy, but something about doing it to animals makes me feel uncomfortable. If you check the website that accompanies the show (www.channel4.com/programmes/inside-natures-giants) and scroll down to the comments you will see a number of veterinary students all pointing out that programmes like this will help them learn and may prevent untimely deaths of animals. This is all very well but doesn’t make it any easier to stomach! It seems the whole world apart from me thoroughly enjoyed this. Part of me feels a bit rude for poking around where we don’t really belong. It’s all very well looking into the human form but I can’t imagine many wild whales rolling up onto a beach for medical attention, and those that are in captivity shouldn’t be. Perhaps if I wasn’t so squeamish at the idea of seeing a elephant in bits I may have found this show informative. However, although I am very interested in evolution and nature there are other ways in which I would liked to have found out this information. It was pointed out quite clearly throughout the series that all of the animals died of natural causes so no creature was actually killed, which is supposed to make it okay. When animals are alive it is generally best if us humans try to have as little impact on their lives and habitats as possible. It is our expansion and greediness that has led to many of them dying out – so should we really be interfering when they are dead? Doesn’t that make it appear as if they are our property and we can do to them whatever we want? I really couldn’t stomach this series. Squeamishness aside, it just made me feel like I was looking into a box marked ‘forbidden’.

D

Films on TV Top tips for your week of flicks TUESDAY 4 O ★★★✩✩

(2001, BBC1,11.15pm. Dir Tim Blake Nelson) There was a trend for a while to set Shakespeare’s stories in an American High School. Welcome to Othello Plays Basketball. Yup, With ER’s Mekhi Phifer taking the title role and Josh Hartnett as Iago – now Hugo – his duplicitous friend, it’s actually a rather good cast. Throw in Julia Stiles as Desdemona aka Desi and you’ve got a complete set of Hollywood upstarts tackling the Bard.

WEDNESDAY 5

The Drowning Pool ★★★★✩ (1975, BBC1, 11.15pm. Dir Stuart Rosenberg) There’s this fella right? Got the blessedest blue eyes you ever did see. And he’s a private detective. So when his ex lady walks right into his office in a bit of a palaver about a blackmail note she’s gone and got in the post there’s nothing he can do but help out, you get our drift? Only it’s a barrel more trouble than he bargained for. Stars Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward.

THURSDAY 6

SATURDAY 8 Lara Croft: Tomb Raider ★★★✩✩ (2001, BBC1, 10.15pm. Dir Simon West) This is the first film based on the computer game about a shapely adventurer archaeologist heiress type that gave your fingers cramp playing as she swung off rock faces. Angelina Jolie is the action Lady of the manor, joined by a pre-Bond Daniel Craig as her unscrupulous rival; Chris Barrie as her butler and Leslie Phillips because she can. Beautiful landscapes and mindless fun.

SUNDAY 9

Munich ★★★★✩ (2005, BBC2, 10pm. Dir Steven Spielberg) Drama telling the Israeli’s response to the horrific massacre of their athletes at the 1972 Olympics by the Palestinian faction Black September. Mossad agents were charged with the task of identifying those responsible and dealing with them. Starring Daniel Craig, Eric Bana, Ciarán Hinds and Geoffrey Rush in this multi Oscar-nominated flick.

Dogma ★★★★✩

MONDAY 10

(1999, Film4, 9pm. Dir Kevin Smith) Love it or hate it, this theological comedy has sparked reactions. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon star as two renegade angels trying to get back into heaven by exploiting a Catholic loophole. Linda Fiorentino gets recruited by ‘voice of God’ Alan Rickman, and along with Kevin Smith stalwarts Jay and Silent Bob and a few others to stop them. Fun, philosophical and definitely silly.

★★★✩✩ (1966, TCM, 5.20pm.Dir John Newland) Where else but in the kitsch land of the 1960s spy world would you meet not one but two dapper spies with perfect hair going by the moniker of Napoleon Solo? The man from U.N.C.L.E is sent with his good friend Illya Kuryakin to do something clever with a nuclear weapon, but T.H.R.U.S.H have a dastardly doppelganger in the wings.

The Spy With My Face

Victoria Nangle

FRIDAY 7

Transamerica ★★★★✩ (2005, More4, 9pm. Dir Duncan Tucker) Felicity Huffman was nominated for the Oscar and won the Golden Globe for her performance as a pre-op male-to-female transsexual who discovers she has a son. Pushed into bailing him out of jail by her shrink, the unlikely pair take a road trip from New York to Los Angeles, the boy oblivious as to what relation he holds to his reluctant benefactor.

Dogma


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tuesday 4 CSI: Miami Five, 9pm When you’re in a ‘safe house’ you tend to think that at the very least the house itself should be out of danger. Not so in Miami. They do things on a large scale there, especially if you’re thinking of testifiying against crime boss Joey Salucci. Whack! – goes the crane through the wall and into the witness. Investigate that!

The Inbetweeners Channel 4, 10.50pm The sitcom that has hit the nail on the head when it comes to genuine non-cool adolescent angst sees exam time looming and Will is stressed out about them. Time for an assessment of what they’ve learnt over the year: There is such a thing as too many energy drinks, and always remember your PE kit.

Dollhouse Sci Fi, 9pm It’s the season finale, and it looks as though Ballard may just make it into the Dollhouse. But what is it, why does it exist and what is its goal? Big questions for one fella, and sometimes it seems like even the writers don’t know the answers. Anyway, it’s big decision time as Ballard meets Alpha and Echo meets... Caroline.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 4.35 Clash 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Denise comes faceto-face with Owen, and is left unsettled. Who wouldn’t be? 8.00 Holby City Connie’s attempts to distance herself from Jac prove to be misguided, while Oliver tries to be taken seriously after an embarrassing incident. Did he do the surgical glove on head chicken impersonation? That would be embarrassing. 9.00 The Truth About Crime Documentary series. Nick Ross shows how it is often things like speeding, litter and nuisance neighbours that bother the public most. The show also reveals areas of anti-social behaviour that go unreported shedding fresh light on the attitude of 14 and 15 year olds to graffiti, arson and drug use. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Neighbourhood Watched Series showing life in the raw for Britain’s Housing Officers and their tenants. 11.15 FILM: O (2001) Starring Mekhi Phifer, Josh Hartnett, Julia Stiles, Elden Henson, Andrew Keegan, Rain Phoenix. Updated adaptation of Shakespeare’s Othello. 12.45am Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: Coast 1.50 Country Tracks 2.45 Heir Hunters 3.30 BBC News

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Lunar Jim 7.10 Kerwhizz 7.35 LazyTown 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 Krypto The Superdog 9.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 10.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 10.30 Deadly 60 11.00 The Flintstones 11.25 FILM: The Story Of An African Farm (2004) 1.00pm Open Gardens 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Knowitalls Gyles Brandreth presents the quiz without questions. 7.00 Who Do You Think You Are? Celebrity genealogy series. TV presenter Kate Humble knows little about her family history. What she does know is that her paternal grandfather was a test pilot, and she believes her maternal grandfather ended up in Colditz. 8.00 Coast Coast follows the southern shoreline of Ireland, from Cork Harbour all the way round to Dublin Bay. 9.00 Desperate Romantics The youngest and most talented member of the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood, John Millais, delights in having landed the influential John Ruskin as his new patron. His friends and fellow artists, Hunt and Rossetti, watch on enviously as Millais begins his rise to fame and fortune. 10.00 Wainwright Walks: Coast To Coast Julia Bradbury follows in the footsteps of guidebook writer Alfred Wainwright by walking across northern England from west to east coast. Better have good boots. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed police drama. Omar calls in a favour from the police, while Carcetti gets advice from mayors past and present. 12.20am BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Golden Balls

6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 The Hoobs 6.50 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.20 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.50 Big Brother 9.00 Friends 9.35 Friends 10.00 The OC 11.00 The OC 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place By The Sea 1.25 FILM: The Return Of Frank James (1940) 3.10 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 3.40 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.10 Deal Or No Deal: Noel’s Hall Of Fame 5.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions

6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.45 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Hana’s Helpline 9.25 Funky Valley 9.35 Olivia 9.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Zoo Days 2.50 Property List 3.10 FILM: A Kiss At Midnight (2008) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip Wildlife documentary series. Michaela Strachan visits Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Buckinghamshire. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Vets In Action Documentary series following four teams of country vets. Vet Neil Eastham is called to a pregnant cow stricken by milk fever. 8.00 Big, Bigger, Biggest Documentary series that examines the technology behind some of the largest feats of engineering in the world. This instalment reveals how six technological breakthroughs enabled the construction of gigantic submarine the USS Pennsylvania. 9.00 CSI: Miami See highlights. 10.00 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. When three men are simultaneously shot dead in separate locations, the detectives look for a link between the trio in the hope that it will lead them to the killers. Magic bullets. Gotta be. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. Grissom is assigned the task of discovering the identity – and the killer – of a woman whose skeleton is unearthed from the foundations of a house. 12.00am The Guardian 1.00 PGA Tour Golf 2.00 Golf – European Challenge Tour 3.15 Motorsport Mundial 3.40 IndyCar 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Great Artists

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 11.00 Speedway 1.00pm Cricket: The Ashes 2009 3.00 Mountainbike World 3.30 PokerStars Caribbean Adventure 4.30 LIVE Cricket: Pro40 League 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 NFL - Total Access 12.30am Time Of Our Lives 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Formula 3 Euroseries 3.00 Premier League Years 5.00 Football Asia 5.30 Mountainbike World

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Lexi feels isolated as everyone waits for news about Nicola. Maybe she should wait with ‘everyone’ then. Duh. 7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill presents the nation’s funniest home videos, as captured on camcorders and mobile phones. 8.00 Send In The Dogs The series that follows the police dog squad as they sniff criminals and contraband. 9.00 Car Crime UK Trevor McDonald presents the series that takes a look at the police car crime teams. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Police, Camera, Action! With over half-a-million cars stolen in the UK, there are rich pickings for Britain’s car thieves. Adrian Simpson meets the vehicle crime squad of the Greater Manchester Police to discover how to keep your car from the clutches of the crafty crooks. Obviously alliteration is the key. 11.05 Supernatural Science-fiction drama series. When Sam and Dean are called to a movie set to investigate a number of murders, they try to discover whether ghosts are responsible or whether the deaths are part of an elaborate hoax. 12.00am Nightwatch With Steve Scott (x2) 1.45 Loose Women 2.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Carmel is snowed under with the re-opening of Evissa looming. Josh and Rhys are stunned when Neville and Suzanne tell them to move out. Big boys, bachelor pads, more than beans on toast, etc. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Property Snakes And Ladders Sarah Beeny revisits record producer Gareth Milford, who was developing a remote cottage in Herefordshire, and Myles Gilbert, who spent two million pounds updating a Georgian building on the Brighton seafront. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house. 10.00 You Have Been Watching Comedy panel show looking at the week’s television, hosted by Charlie Brooker. Guests include Martin Freeman and Reginald D Hunter. 10.50 The Inbetweeners See highlights. 11.25 Rude Tube Matt Kirshen celebrates the most notorious internet videos. 11.55 Mika: Video Exclusive 12.00am The Kevin Bishop Show 12.30 Betfair World Series Of Poker Europe 1.30 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Postmodern Pastimes 4.15 Gillette World Sport 4.40 World Superbikes 5.10 The Cooper Tyres British Formula 3 International Series 5.35 FIA GT Championship

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Golf 9.00 Bowls 11.00 PokerStars Caribbean Adventure 12.00pm Mountain Bike World 12.30 Wild Spirits 1.00 The Premiership Years 3.00 Speedway: Elite League 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 Mountain Bike World 6.30 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 7.00 Football Asia 7.30 LIVE: Greyhound Racing 10.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 12.00am Formula 3 Euroseries 1.00 Bowls 3.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 8.00am PokerStars Caribbean Adventure 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Showjumping 1.00 PokerStars Caribbean Adventure 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Bowls 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Asian Tour Weekly 8.00 European Challenge Tour Golf 9.00 Formula 3 Euroseries 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 European Challenge Tour Golf 12.00am Golf: Challenge Series 2009 12.30 Asian Tour Weekly 1.30 European Challenge Tour Golf 2.30 Close

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

2.00pm A Town Called Eureka 3.00 The Real A & E 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 A Town Called Eureka 9.00 House (x2) 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Ross Kemp On Gangs 2.40 Is Harry On The Boat?

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 9.00 16: Too Young To Vote 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Underage And Pregnant 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 12.45am Sex: My Big Decision 1.40 Britain’s Most Embarrassing Parents

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Only Connect 8.00 South Pacific 9.00 We Need Answers 9.30 Cowards 10.00 The PreRaphaelites: Victorian Revolutionaries 10.30 Getting On 11.00 Early Doors 11.30 Breaking The Mould: The Story Of Penicillin 12.55am Getting On 1.25 We Need Answers

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 Spain: Paradise Lost 9.00 FILM: 40 Days And 40 Nights (2002) 11.00 FILM: Cliffhanger (1993) 1.10am Emmerdale 1.40 The Office: An American Workplace (x2) 2.25 Teleshopping

11.20am Rising Damp 11.55 The Beiderbecke Affair 12.55pm Heartbeat 1.55 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.00 Pie In The Sky 4.05 The Beiderbecke Affair 5.10 Rising Damp 5.40 Heartbeat 6.45 Pie In The Sky 7.50 A Touch Of Frost 10.00 Wire In The Blood 11.55 Reckless 1.00am A Touch Of Frost

1.25pm Big Brother 2.35 Friends 3.00 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny 11.05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 11.55 Big Brother: Live

2.30pm The Coach Trip 3.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 True Stories 12.10am Come Dine With Me

12.50pm The Fix 1.00 60 Minute Makeover 2.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Four Weddings 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Eleventh Hour 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

1.00pm Battleground: The Art Of War 2.00 Elite Forces 3.00 Hitler’s Henchmen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Universe 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Swamp Loggers 10.00 Alaska’s Great Race 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am How Stuff’s Made

11.00am Quantum Leap (x5) 4.00 FILM: Storm Seekers (2008) 6.10 TBA 8.00 Knight Rider 9.00 Dollhouse. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Mindhunters (2004) 12.00am Medium 1.00 FILM: Mindhunters (2004) 3.00 Mysterious Ways 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho

1.40pm Johnny Guitar (1954) 3.35 You Were Never Lovelier (1942) 5.15 Pimpernel Smith (1941) 7.20 The Enemy Below (1957) 9.00 The Boston Strangler (1968) 11.00 Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 12.40am Johnny Guitar (1954) 2.30 Arabesque (1966)

11.20am Buffalo ‘66 (1998) 1.20pm The Movie Geek 1.50 The Serpent (2006) 3.55 Best (2000) 5.45 Ride With The Devil (1999) 8.05 Buffalo ‘66 (1998) 10.00 Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas (1998) 12.00am The Astronaut’s Wife (1999) 1.50 Desperado (1995) 3.40 Best (2000)

11.00am Last Of The Badmen (1957) 12.40pm The Man In Grey (1943) 2.55 The Spanish Gardener (1956) 4.45 The Quiller Memorandum (1966) 6.55 Guess Who (2005) 9.00 Crash (2004) 11.10 The Commitments (1991) 1.25am The Perfect Score (2003)

9.20am The Train Robbers (1973) 11.05 The Omega Man (1971) 1.00pm The Bramble Bush (1960) 3.00 Captain Horatio Hornblower (1951) 5.05 The Bobo (1967) 7.10 Gunfight At Comanche Creek (1964) 9.00 Blazing Saddles (1974) 10.50 Bullitt (1968) 1.00am Blazing Saddles (1974) 2.50 There Was A Crooked Man (1970)

5.00pm As Time Goes By 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 First Of The Summer Wine 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 7.40 Yes, Minister Special 9.00 The Vicar Of Dibley 9.40 Absolutely Fabulous 10.20 Fawlty Towers 11.00 Little Britain USA 11.35 Blackadder II 12.20am Hippies

4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 South Park 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x2)

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wednesday 5 The Culture Show BBC2, 7pm A crammer for those wishing to find out what culture’s going on this week. Kicking off we’ve got Lauren Laverne talking to Pedro Almodovar about his new film, as well as its star Penelope Cruz. Mark Kermode meets Sam Mendes to talk about his latest project. Lauren chats to the Arctic Monkeys. Loads more too.

Taking The Flak BBC2, 10pm The sitcom about BBC foreign correspondents doesn’t look close to running out of fodder as a trip to a school out in the bush goes a bit wrong when the team find themselves caught in the crossfire between governement and rebel forces. And a driving lesson ends in a near-death experience. Don’t they all?

My Name is Earl E4, 7.35pm Now in its fourth season, this karma-evening comedy sure shows quite how many bad things Earl Hickey did before writing his list as he doesn’t look set to run out of things to atone for anytime soon. This week he and Randy are at cheerleader camp. And Joy tries to convince her son she’s sexier than Catalina. Hmm.

terrestrial

sport

BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Best Of Friends 4.35 Animals At Work 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Lunar Jim 7.10 Kerwhizz 7.35 LazyTown 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 Krypto The Superdog 9.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 10.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 10.30 Deadly 60 11.00 The Flintstones 11.25 The Flintstones 11.50 FILM: Russkies (1987) 1.20pm Lifeline 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Knowitalls Gyles Brandreth presents the quiz without questions. 7.00 The Culture Show See highlights. 7.50 Terns Of The Castle Coast Doc about arctic terns, which migrate further than any other animal. 8.00 Economy Gastronomy Top chefs Allegra McEvedy and Paul Merrett demonstrate ways to slash food bills and improve our diets. The England family spend a fortune at their local takeaways, but they really want to eat better for less – as a family. ‘Specially if it’s a top chef teaching us how. Lobster basque please, for 32p a head! 9.00 Dragons’ Den Another set of businessmen and women pitch to the multimillionaire Dragons for that allimportant financial backing. Michael Lea presents his fleet of hot and cold food vans; advertising entrepreneur William Sachiti wants to roll out his new litterbin; and a Midlands-based trio pitch for their bespoke maskprinting company. 10.00 Taking The Flak See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed police drama. Chris and Snoop send the New York crew a message. 12.20am The Supersizers Eat... Medieval 1.20 BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Golden Balls

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs (x2) 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.25 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.50 Big Brother 8.55 Friends 9.25 Friends 9.55 The OC 10.55 Orange RockCorps 2009 Live From Manchester 11.45 The Saturdays’ Postcard From T4 On The Beach 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place By The Sea 1.35 FILM: Death Drums Along The River (1963) 3.10 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 3.40 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (x2) 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Darren offers Cindy a shoulder to cry on when Tony tells her to move back to her flat, but one thing leads to another and then Tony walks in on them. Hormones – ach! 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Location, Location, Location Two young couples have fallen for Hertfordshire’s charms. 7/7 survivor Martine Wright and Nick Wiltshire met in 2003 and are about to get married. Dina Mistry and Pradeep Patel have viewed nearly 50 properties. Isn’t that loads of Hertfordshire? 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house. 10.00 Ugly Betty Drama comedy series. Betty works overtime to try to attract the attention of Jesse. Amanda moves in with Betty. Cliff proposes that he and Marc move in together. Blimey! That’s more commitment than a cosmetics modelling contract. 11.00 Skins Drama series. The impending student elections loom. The trust and confidence inspired by a friend encourage Naomi to stand up to her arch rival. But she learns that nothing is black and white anymore. 12.05am Teachers 1.10 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Supporting Acts 4.10 FILM: Widow On The Hill (2005) 5.40 The Hoobs

6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.45 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Hana’s Helpline 9.25 Funky Valley 9.35 Olivia 9.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Zoo Days 2.50 Property List 3.05 FILM: Columbo: It’s All In The Game (1993) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip Wildlife documentary series. At Chester Zoo in Cheshire, Michaela Strachan helps the team tend to two of the rarest babies on the planet – a pair of black rhinos. Ahh. No ‘friendly’ headbutting though. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Mean Machines This instalment examines the history of submarines, featuring vessels from World War II to the latest attack submarines, including HMS Turbulent. 8.00 Megastructures Today we’re with a family of demolition experts attempt to bring down one of the USA’s oldest luxury resorts – the Sheraton Bal Harbour hotel in Miami Beach, Florida. Timm-berrr.... 9.00 FILM: Until Death (2007) Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme. Action thriller. When his attempts to bring down a notorious crime boss go wrong, a troubled detective ends up in a coma. Waking up he finds his pregnant wife has been kidnapped by the same men. Time for proper asskicking and hysterically cliched dialongue. Lovin’ it. 11.10 CCTV Cities Series revealing real-life footage of urban crime, presented by Donal MacIntyre. 12.10am PartyPoker.com European Open V 1.45 Cricket On Five 4.20 Ironman World Championships 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 The Great Artists

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Football Asia 9.30 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 10.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 12.00pm European Challenge Tour 1.00 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 4.00 Football Asia 4.30 LIVE Cricket: Pro40 League 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 11.30 European Tour Weekly 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 European Tour Weekly

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Wildest Dreams The eight remaining wildlife film-makers are more than 9,000 feet above sea level in the Drakensberg mountains of South Africa. They are competing to win just one job at the BBC’s Natural History Unit. So, where do they see themselves in five years’ time? 8.30 Seaside Rescue Following Britain’s maritime rescue services. 9.00 Who Do You Think You Are? Comedian David Mitchell goes in search of his Scottish roots. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws OJ Borg is live from Lottery HQ. 10.45 Silverville Documentary following the lives in a retirement village. 90-year-old Burt proposes to Rose, 79, who claims that it does not usually happen at their age. Ahh. Who’ll give the bride away? 11.15 FILM: The Drowning Pool (1975) Starring Paul Newman, Joanne Woodward. Tense thriller. A private detective finds himself embroiled in sin and corruption when he is hired by his ex-lover to trace the source of a mysterious blackmail letter. 1.05am Weatherview 1.10 Sign Zone: On Thin Ice 2.10 Rick Stein’s Far Eastern Odyssey 3.10 Heir Hunters 3.55 BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale A determined Val vows to make up for her past misdemeanours. Misdemeanours or mischief? Such a fine line. 7.30 Grimefighters Series following the daily lives of Britain’s clean up teams, including pest controllers, restaurant inspectors and litter pickers. Today, Steve from Leicester Council gets some help from the police when he has to evict some squatters – and deal with the drug paraphernalia they have left behind. 8.00 Midsomer Murders DCI Barnaby finds a tangled world of crime and intrigue in the art world. A recently discovered masterpiece by local artist Henry Hogson realises an impressive price at auction just hours before its previous owner is tortured and killed. Can Barnaby and Jones prevent the body count from rising further? Isn’t torture rather more brutal than we normally get in Midsomer? The class of murderer is just dropping, we tell you. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Total Emergency Following the emergency services in Sheffield. 11.35 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 12.30am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.20 Loose Women 2.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 9.00 Ocean Adventures 9.30 Mountain Bike World 10.00 European Challenge Tour Golf 11.00 Formula 3 Euroseries 12.00pm Pool: World Cup Of Pool 1.00 The Premiership Years 3.00 European Challenge Tour Golf 4.00 Formula 3 Euroseries 5.00 NFL Total Access 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 Total Rugby 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Dunlop Best Of British Motorsport 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 NFL - Total Access 12.00am DTM 1.00 Asian Tour Golf 2.00 Boots ‘n’ All 3.00 NFL - Total Access

Sky Sports 3 7.00am European Challenge Tour Golf 8.00 Formula 3 Euroseries 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Formula 3 Euroseries 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Pool: World Cup Of Pool 4.30 WWE The Bottom Line 5.30 WWE Afterburn 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 Asian Tour Golf 8.00 DTM 9.00 European Tour Weekly 9.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Showjumping 12.00am Showjumping 1.00 Dunlop Best Of British Motorsport 2.00 Max Power Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

1.00pm Don’t Forget The Lyrics 2.00 A Town Called Eureka 3.00 The Real A & E 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 FILM: Dante’s Peak (1997) 11.05 Premiership’s 50 Greatest Goals 12.05am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 FILM: Cast Away (2000) 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 Little Britain 11.15 We Are Klang 11.45 Underage And Pregnant 12.15am Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 1.15 Pregnancy: My Big Decision 2.15 Underage And Pregnant 2.45 16: Too Young To Vote 3.40 We Are Klang

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Once A Soldier 8.00 Casualty 1907 9.00 Spanish Flu: The Forgotten Fallen 10.00 In Search Of Spanish Flu 10.30 Happy Birthday OU 11.30 Timeshift: Carry On Campus 12.30am Spanish Flu: The Forgotten Fallen 1.30 Happy Birthday OU 2.30 Timeshift: Carry On Campus

1.00pm Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 Animals Do The Funniest Things 9.00 FILM: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) 11.50 FILM: I Know Who Killed Me (2007) 1.55am Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.10 The Beiderbecke Affair 5.15 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Life 11.00 FILM: The Parallax View (1974) 1.05am Upstairs, Downstairs 2.00 Surgical Spirit (x2)

3.00pm Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Congo (1995) 11.05 You Have Been Watching 11.55 A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila 12.50am Big Brother: Live

5.05pm Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Engineering Britain’s Superweapons 11.05 Dispatches: The War Against Street Weapons 12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 1.10 Time Team

12.50pm The Fix 1.00 60 Minute Makeover 2.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Private Practice 9.00 Eleventh Hour 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

1.00pm Battleground: The Art Of War 2.00 Elite Forces 3.00 Hitler’s Henchmen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Universe 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Jonestown Cult 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am How Stuff’s Made (x2)

11.00am Jericho (x5) 4.00 FILM: Storm Cell (2008) 6.10 FILM: Dragon Hunter (2008) 8.00 FILM: Raging Sharks (2005) 9.50 FILM: Ogre (2008) 11.40 Medium 12.40am FILM: Universal Soldier II: Brothers In Arms (1998) 2.30 3rd Rock From The Sun 3.00 Mysterious Ways 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho

1.50pm Abbott And Costello Meet The Mummy (1955) 3.20 Lover Come Back (1961) 5.10 Viva Zapata! (1951) 7.05 Charade (1963) 9.00 The Glenn Miller Story (1954) 10.55 East Of Eden (1955) 12.55am Kiss Of Death (1947) 2.45 Viva Zapata! (1951) 4.40 Charade (1963)

11.40am Water (2005) 1.35pm Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) 3.35 Clubland (2007) 5.25 The Children Of Huang Shi (2008) 7.30 Once (2006) 9.00 The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford (2007) 11.45 Once (2006) 1.15am Paris, Je T’Aime (2006) 3.20 The Children Of Huang Shi (2008)

11.00am Hoodlum Empire (1952) 12.55pm Lost (1955) 2.45 Do Not Disturb (1965) 4.45 The Kentuckian (1955) 6.50 Bogus (1996) 9.00 Hope Floats (1998) 11.10 Nil By Mouth (1997) Gritty directorial debut from Gary Oldman starring Ray Winstone. 1.40am Mister Lonely (2008)

9.15am The Bobo (1967) 11.15 Gunfight At Comanche Creek (1964) 1.00pm The Charge At Feather River (1953) 3.00 Mogambo (1953) 5.15 A Night At The Opera (1935) 7.05 The Helicopter Spies (1968) 9.00 City Of Angels (1998) 11.15 Coma (1978) 1.30am City Of Angels (1998)

5.00pm As Time Goes By 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 Dinnerladies 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 7.40 Yes, Prime Minister 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 9.00 Fawlty Towers 9.45 Little Britain USA 10.20 Blackadder II 11.00 Only Fools And Horses 12.40am Hippies 1.20 The New Statesman

5.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x20 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 The Office: An American Workplace 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 12.10am Two And A Half Men (x2) 1.10 South Park (x2)

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023_LS435_TV_Thu

7/30/09

9:28 AM

Page 1

thursday 6 Mock The Week BBC2, 9pm For a show that’s supposed to be about the news this has been in the news a bit too much in recent weeks. First there was the ‘boys club’ accusation, then Frankie Boyle released his podcast of the stuff that got cut from the show. Tonight’s Dara O’Briain’s guests are Brighton’s own fab Zoe Lyons and the delightful Mark Watson.

The Great British Wedding BBC2, 11.20pm It’s sunny, it’s summer – that officially makes it wedding season and time to go out hunting for a massive hat. Mark Benton narrates this step-by-step guide to the British wedding and all of its traditions, from the stag night right through to the table plan. Just to get you up to speed for your vol-au-vents.

The Loop E4, 10.30pm Ain’t it grand that E4 goes out and cherry-picks the best US comedy before bringing it to our screens? Following on from the success of The Big Bang Theory comes The Loop, a sitcom about a young airline executive making his way in the world. Ahh. Tonight tequila interferes with the smoothrunning of that world. Been there.

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Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 4.35 SMart 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders The scales fall from Roxy’s eyes when it comes to her wicked father. Do you think it’s about time?! Really?! 8.00 As Seen On TV Steve Jones hosts the TV quiz. Team captains Fern Britton and Jason Manford are joined by actress Sally Lindsay, comedian and writer Danny Wallace, EastEnder Jo Joyner and Ashes to Ashes star Marshall Lancaster. 8.30 The Rat Pack Documentary following the work of pest controllers. Losing the romanticism. 9.00 New Tricks Crime drama series. When clips of actress Eva Roderick being assaulted in the 1990 film noir Shadow Show are posted on the internet, UCOS are forced to reopen the investigation into producer Max Stone’s death and Eva’s subsequent disappearance. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 FILM: Proof Of Life (2000) Starring Meg Ryan, Russell Crowe. Thriller about a couple living in South America. When the husband is kidnapped by anti-government guerrillas, a professional negotiator is brought into the mix. 12.45am Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: Panorama 1.20 Countryfile 2.15 Heir Hunters 3.00 BBC News

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Teletubbies 7.00 Lunar Jim 7.10 Kerwhizz 7.35 LazyTown 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 Krypto The Superdog 9.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 10.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 10.30 Deadly 60 11.00 The Flintstones 11.25 The Flintstones 11.50 FILM: Teacher’s Pet (2004) 1.00pm Open Gardens 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Knowitalls Gyles Brandreth presents the quiz without questions. 7.00 Coast Coast follows the southern shoreline of Ireland, from Cork Harbour all the way round to Dublin Bay. Do they do it in a boat or on land? See the uncertanities of filming on the coastline. 8.00 Rick Stein’s Far Eastern Odyssey Rick Stein takes the viewer on an epic culinary journey by sea, down rivers and overland to explore the Far East’s diverse food cultures. Rick is spoilt for choice as he explores the multifaceted food of Penang, an appealing mix of indigenous Malay, Indian and Chinese with a bit of British charm thrown in for good measure. Yum! 9.00 Mock The Week See highlights. 9.30 The Funny Side Of TV Talent Clive Anderson guides us through the history of television’s talent shows. Where did they come from? How have they evolved? And why do we so frequently end up laughing at them? 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Gavin Esler. 11.20 The Great British Wedding See highlights. 12.20am Wine 1.20 BBC News

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Golden Balls

6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 The OC 10.55 T4 On The Beach: Buried Treasures 11.45 N-Dubz’s Postcard From T4 On The Beach 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place By The Sea 1.25 FILM: Blanche Fury (1948) 3.10 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 3.40 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Rhys is furious that Darren is being treated so well by his family while he and Josh are sleeping in a tent. Yeah Rhys, ‘cause the whole world’s always against smug swaggering lotharios. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 The Home Show Jo and Grant and their two daughters were living in a house so tiny they had to keep the washing machine outside in the garden shed. Architect George Clarke helps out. Not with the washing. 9.00 How The Other Half Live The harsh reality of poverty in 21st century Britain is exposed in this flyon-the-wall documentary series. Nine-year-old Brandon lives with his brother Marcus, mum Michaela and stepdad Shaun in one of the South East’s most deprived neighbourhoods. Sam and Scott decide to help out Brandon and his family. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the last 24 hours in the BB house. 11.10 The TNT Show Jack Whitehall and Holly Walsh present a weekly entertainment show. 11.45 You Have Been Watching Comedy show looking at the week’s television, hosted by Charlie Brooker. 12.35am 4 Music: 4Play: Speech 12.50 Big Brother: Live 4.00 The Big Monster Dig 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 5.55 Sali Mali

6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Little Princess 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.05 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Hana’s Helpline 9.25 Funky Valley 9.35 Olivia 9.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Zoo Days 2.50 Property List 3.05 FILM: Separated By Murder (1994) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip Wildlife documentary series. Not a disturbing car journey over tarmac made of critters. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Hero Animals Todd Endris was catching some waves at a beach in California when he was attacked by a great white shark. Shocked, bleeding and alone, Todd expected to die – until a pod of bottlenose dolphins arrived out of nowhere to protect him from the shark. Horray for Flipper! 8.00 Extreme Fishing With Robson Green Doc profiling the hottest fishing destinations around the globe. 9.00 The Mentalist Drama series. The execution of a former mafioso in the witness-protection programme leads the agents to a retired mob boss, an unethical US Marshal and a jealous widow. Sounds like a joke. 10.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series about an elite force based in New York which investigates sexually orientated crimes. The murder of a 14-year-old girl leads the detectives to a prominent physician. 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Drama series. When five young people are found dead by the railway tracks, Goren and Eames initially write it off as suicide. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 NFL Classics 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 The Great Artists

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 European Tour Weekly 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Boots ’n’ All 12.00pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 Showjumping 1.30 Showjumping 2.30 European Tour Weekly 3.00 Boots ’n’ All 4.00 Total Rugby 4.30 LIVE Cricket: Pro40 League 7.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 NFL - Total Access 12.30am Barclays Premier League World 1.00 World Golf Championship 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Nicola is irked to find herself on maternity leave until after the baby is born. Most people are grateful for that. 7.30 Countrywise The team continue their journey across Britain. 8.00 Emmerdale A trapped Nicola goes into labour, but will she be able to make it to the hospital in time? 8.30 Coronation Street Michelle’s return sparks the interest of Luke and Peter. Fight! Fight! 9.00 The Bill Joel Fuller is arrested in a pub after an unprovoked attack on another customer. Bosch! Joel’s wife Lucy is brought in to be interviewed and confesses that she is having an affair with her boss, Dave – and Joel has found out. With Joel on his way to Dave’s house with a gun, CO19 troops are brought in. Is that some new chemistry exam? 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Real Crime: The Tesco Bomber Exclusive archive footage, police and witness testimony and reconstructions of key events tell the story of the hunt for the Tesco Bomber, who attempted to extort millions of pounds. 11.35 Surface Fantasy adventure drama series. 12.30am Motorsport UK 2.10 Supernatural 2.55 Loose Women 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE: Experience 8.00 Boots ’n’ All 9.00 Showjumping 10.00 Showjumping 11.00 Dunlop Best Of British Motorsport 12.00pm DTM 1.00 The Premiership Years 3.00 Dunlop Best Of British Motorsport 4.00 Showjumping 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 Ocean Adventures 6.30 Barclays Premier League World 7.00 LIVE Cricket: Pro40 League 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Race World 12.00am British Motocross Championship 1.00 Time Of Our Lives 2.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 2.30 Race World 3.30 British Motocross Championship

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Showjumping 7.00 DTM 8.00 Dunlop Best Of British Motorsport 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 World Tenpin Masters 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 World Tenpin Masters 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 Race World 7.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 7.30 LIVE Rugby League 9.30 WWE Late Night Raw 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am Rugby League Victoria Nangle

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BBC3

BBC4

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ITV3

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Living

3.00 The Real A & E 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Noel’s Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 9.00 Bones 10.00 Lie To Me 11.00 Fringe (x2) 1.20am Road Wars 2.15 Ross Kemp On Gangs 3.05 Is Harry On The Boat?

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 9.00 Binge Drinking: My Big Decision 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 We Are Klang 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Binge Drinking: My Big Decision 12.45am Drinking With The Girls 1.40 Underage And Pregnant

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 BBC FOUR Proms 2009: Mendelssohn’s Italian Symphony 10.00 Wallander 11.25 Later...with Jools Holland 12.30am The Guinea Pig Club 1.30 BBC FOUR Proms 2009: Mendelssohn’s Italian Symphony

1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 America’s Got Talent (x2) 10.30 Entourage 11.10 Coronation Street 11.40 FILM: Mickey Blue Eyes (1998) 1.45am America’s Got Talent (x2) 3.45 Emmerdale (x2)

12.35pm Heartbeat 1.40 Upstairs, Downstairs 2.45 Pie In The Sky 3.45 The Beiderbecke Affair 4.50 Monarch Of The Glen 5.55 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Robbie Coltrane: B-Road Britain 10.00 The Forsyte Saga 11.40 Numb3rs 12.45am Cracker

3.55pm The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends 8.30 Friends 9.00 Reaper 10.00 The Big Bang Theory 10.30 The Loop. See highlights. 11.00 King Of The Hill 11.30 Reno 911 12.00am Big Brother: Live

4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies 10.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 11.00 Without A Trace 12.00am Embarrassing Bodies

2.00pm Passport Patrol (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Criminal Minds 9.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 10.00 Private Practice 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds 1.00 Living With Kimberly Stewart 2.00 Charmed

G.O.L.D

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm Oil, Sweat And Rigs 1.00 The Spartans 2.00 Elite Forces 3.00 Hitler’s Henchmen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Universe 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Mega Builders (x2) 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am How Stuff’s Made (x2)

11.00am Angel (x5) 4.00 FILM: Polar Storm (2009) 6.10 TBA 8.00 Bionic Woman 9.00 My Own Worst Enemy 10.00 Dollhouse 11.00 Knight Rider 12.00am Medium 1.00 FILM: Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business (1998) 3.00 Mysterious Ways 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho

10.50am The Lost Weekend (1945) 12.40pm Rooster Cogburn (1975) 2.30 Apache (1954) 4.00 The Movie Geek 4.30 The Far Country (1955) 6.15 Paint Your Wagon (1969) 9.00 A Lovely Way To Die (1968) 10.50 Sweet Charity (1969) 1.15am A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)

10.45am 4 Months, 3 Weeks And 2 Days (2007) 12.40pm Cradle Will Rock (1999) 2.55 The Edge Of Heaven (2007) 4.55 Tube Tales (1999) 6.25 Plunkett And Macleane (1999) 8.10 A Mighty Heart (2007) 10.00 Girl 6 (1995) 11.50 American History X (1998) 1.50am Breathtaking (2000)

11.00am Nausicaa: Valley Of The Wind (1984) 1.20pm Chain Gang (1950) 2.40 The One That Got Away (1958) 4.50 The Way West (1967) 7.10 Cheaper By The Dozen (2003) 9.00 Dogma (1999) 11.20 White Men Can’t Jump (1992) 1.35am Cries And Whispers (1972)

11.15am The Helicopter Spies (1968) 1.00pm A Fine Madness (1966) 3.00 The Champ (1979) 5.20 On The Town (1949) 7.15 Carson City (1952) 9.00 Dolores Claiborne (1995) 11.35 The First Deadly Sin (1980) 1.40am The Screening Room 2.15 Dolores Claiborne (1995) 4.30 The Screening Room

5.00pm As Time Goes By 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 Dinnerladies 7.00 Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads? 7.40 Yes, Prime Minister 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 10.35 Gimme Gimme Gimme (x2) 11.55 Hippies 12.35am The New Statesman

5.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Scrubs 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x2) 1.40 Comedy Store (x2)

Classics

Indie


024_LS435_TV_Fri

7/29/09

9:45 AM

Page 1

friday 7 Hotel Babylon BBC1, 9pm The ongoing bickering between restaurant man James and bar supremo Gino gets tense this week as James overseas a VIP funeral, with a promotion in the balance if he pulls it off. One of Gino’s asides gets heard by the wrong person and it all looks toppleworthy in an instant. Can this lovely puff drama save him?

NCIS Five, 9pm The Navy special investigations drama lite sees the team called in to a small town where a marine intelligence officer has been shot dead. Is no one just shot in a painful but non critical way anymore? Anyway, the local cops have already investigated and are fingering an Iraqi resident for the crime. Like it would be so simple.

How Clean Is Your House? More4, 4pm & 4.30pm Kim and Aggie get out their broomsticks – in a purely nonwitchy capacity – to teach a couple more householders what they can do with a bit of elbow grease. Whether you’re after the tips, the smug superiority of a clean liver or searching for someone with a nastier place than yours, it’s all good clean fun.

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BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Cash In The Attic 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Basil’s Game Show 4.35 Hotel Trubble 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Air Medics A look at the work of the Great North Air Ambulance, as the crews are pushed to the limit while dealing with the most common accident of all in the region - crashes. 8.00 EastEnders Libby and Denise’s tentative peace is threatened by a dark declaration from Owen, while Tanya suspects Max may be up to his old tricks. Got your nose! 8.30 Traffic Cops A look at the challenges facing Britain’s road police. 9.00 Hotel Babylon See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Rock ‘n’ Roll Hotel Work on Mark Fuller’s Sanctum Soho Hotel has been slow over the Christmas period, and it is still running behind schedule. A catalogue of disasters and hold-ups add to the spiralling costs, as 150 doors are snowed in at the Swiss border. 11.20 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.25 FILM: Old School (2002) Starring Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn. Campus comedy in which a lawyer unwittingly gives his thirty-something friends a chance to recapture their college years. 12.50am Weatherview 12.55 Sign Zone: Silverville 1.25 BBC News

6.00 – 7.10am Children’s television 7.10 Kerwhizz 7.35 Green Balloon Goes On Holiday 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Superhero? 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 Krypto The Superdog 9.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 10.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 10.30 Deadly 60 11.00 The Flintstones 11.25 The Flintstones 11.50 FILM: A Gift For Heidi (1962) 1.00pm Open Gardens 1.30 Animal Park 2.15 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Knowitalls Gyles Brandreth presents the quiz without questions. 7.00 Mud, Sweat And Tractors: The Story Of Agriculture Documentary series looking at the history of 20th-century farming in Britain. This edition charts the changes in the way fruit and veg was grown, picked and sold. 8.00 Gardeners’ World Toby Buckland plants new varieties of bright summer daisies at Greenacre. 9.00 Classic Goldie It’s the countdown to the world premiere of Goldie’s new composition for the BBC Proms, performed at the Royal Albert Hall. It’s a huge challenge for Goldie to prepare a written score for an orchestra of over 60 musicians and a chorus of 120 singers, but some modern technology comes to the rescue and he trials his ideas. 10.00 QI Stephen Fry quizzes Phill Jupitus, Jo Brand, Hugh Dennis and Alan Davies on all things French. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Gavin Esler. 11.00 Newsnight Review 11.35 Medium Supernatural drama series. Allison battles the spirit of a serial killer who is possessing people in order to kill from beyond the grave. 12.20am Medium 1.00 The Wire (x3)

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Golden Balls

6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 The Hoobs 6.50 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.15 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.40 Big Brother 8.50 Friends 9.25 Friends 9.55 The OC 10.55 T4 On The Beach: Buried Treasures 11.45 Peter Andre’s Postcard From T4 On The Beach 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place By The Sea 1.30 FILM: Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid (1981) 3.10 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 3.40 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.10 Deal Or No Deal: Noel’s Hall Of Fame 5.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (x2) 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Carmel decides to help Jacqui buy her plane ticket to France. She’s the dead nice sister. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 The Russians Are Coming A look at the world of wealthy Russians who want an English public school education for their children. 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? Jonnie and Jasmine help Peter and Meredith Moss decide between buying a new home in London, where the prices are falling, and a value-formoney property in Texas. 9.00 Big Brother Davina McCall announces the results of the latest eviction vote live into the Big Brother house. Plus highlights from the past 24 hours. AND LOTS OF SCREAMING! 10.00 The Kevin Bishop Show The impressionist presents a fast-paced sketch show. 10.35 Big Brother The latest housemate to be evicted is interviewed by Davina McCall. 11.05 The Simpsons 11.35 Russell Brand’s Ponderland Comedian Russell Brand shares his take on the world around him. 12.10am 4 Music: 4Play: Miike Snow 12.25 4 Music: JD Set Presents: Two Door Cinema Club 12.40 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Freesports On 4: The Roxy Jam 4.30 The Brain Cell 5.00 Grudge Match 5.10 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Little Princess 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.05 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Hana’s Helpline 9.25 Funky Valley 9.35 Olivia 9.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Zoo Days 2.50 Property List 3.10 FILM: A Decent Proposal (2006) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip Wildlife documentary series. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights of the fourth Ashes Test between England and Australia at Headingley Carnegie. 8.00 You’re Nicked Natalie Pinkham finds out the true stories behind dramatic crimes caught on camera. In this episode, police chase a suicidal motorist down the M1. Really. 9.00 NCIS See highlights. 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series that looks inside the minds of criminals and follows the Major Case Squad’s investigations into their felonies. The detectives are called to the murder of a single mother during a romantic date. Suspicion initally falls on the father of her young daughter - but could her wealthy family be implicated? Possibly. Probably. Gadzooks – more than likely! 11.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama series based on the work of forensic investigators. A crane crashes into a Miami high-rise, killing a vital witness in the trial against crime boss Joey Salucci. The CSIs suspect foul play – but can they find the murderer and put Salucci away for good? 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 The Gadget Show 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 The Great Artists

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Ocean Adventures 9.30 Barclays Premier League World 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 2009 7.00 Big League Weekend 7.45 LIVE Football League: Championship 10.30 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 12.30am World Golf Championship 4.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 Gillette World Sport

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Lexi feels like an outsider around Nicola and her baby. 7.30 Coronation Street Joe’s addiction leads to a traumatic climax. Like when your mates got you everlasting birthday candles and didn’t tell you, and you kept blowing ‘til you went redder than a beetroot. 8.00 Airline The Anthony Nolan Trust sets up a clinic in Liverpool Airport to help find potential bone marrow donors for two kids with leukaemia. 8.30 Coronation Street Tina is distraught at Joe’s breakdown. 9.00 Kingdom First episode of the drama series set in a Norfolk market town. When Peter Kingdom’s brother disappears leaving only some clothes on a beach, Peter forces himself to put on a brave face and return to his work as a solicitor. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Bill Repeat of yesterday’s episode. 11.35 FILM: Ned Kelly (2003) Starring Heath Ledger, Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush, Naomi Watts. Period crime adventure loosely based on the real story of the Irish immigrant who wreaked havoc in 1870s Australia. 1.30am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.25 FILM: Sins Of The Father (2002) 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE: Raw 9.00 World Golf Championship 1.00pm The Premiership Years 3.00 NFL – Total Access 4.00 The Premiership Years 6.00 Tight Lines 7.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Football Asia 12.30 Football League: Championship 2.00 NFL – Total Access 3.00 The Premiership Years 5.00 NFL – Total Access

Sky Sports 3 7.30am British Motocross Championship 8.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Race World 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Race World 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 3.00 British Motocross Championship 4.00 WWE Raw 6.00 LIVE Rugby Union: Currie Cup 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Rugby Union: Currie Cup 3.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 5.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 5.30 Ocean Adventures

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

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Living

3.00pm The Real A & E 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 FILM: Dante’s Peak (1997) 12.05am Road Wars (x2) 1.55 Ross Kemp On Gangs 2.45 Is Harry On The Boat? 3.40 Nothing But The Truth 4.35 Brainiac

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Doctor Who 8.50 Doctor Who Confidential 9.00 Torchwood: Children Of Earth 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Ideal (x2) 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am We Are Klang 12.45 Torchwood: Children Of Earth 1.45 Ideal (x2) 2.45 Baby Beauty Queens 3.45 We Are Klang

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 BBC FOUR Proms 2009: Knussen Conducts Knussen 9.20 In Concert: Sonny Terry And Brownie McGee 10.00 Blues At The BBC 11.00 Blues Britannia: Can Blue Men Play The Whites? 12.30am Bobby Bland: Two Steps From The Blues 1.30 Blues At The BBC 2.30 BBC FOUR Proms

12.30pm Emmerdale (x2) 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 Anonymous 9.00 America’s Got Talent (x2) 11.30 Coronation Street (x2) 12.30am America’s Got Talent (x2) 2.45 Emmerdale 3.10 Teleshopping

11.20am Rising Damp 11.55 The Beiderbecke Affair 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.05 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.10 Pie In The Sky 4.10 The Beiderbecke Affair 5.15 Rising Damp 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Life 10.00 FILM: Staying Alive (1983) 12.00am Flashpoint

1.25pm Big Brother 2.35 Friends 3.00 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.00 Wife Swap 11.05 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 12.10am Big Brother: Live

4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2). See highlights. 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: Transamerica (2005) 11.00 Sex Change Soldier 12.05am FILM: Transamerica (2005)

12.50pm The Fix 1.00 60 Minute Makeover 2.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Army Wives 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds

G.O.L.D

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

4.00pm Time Team 5.00 Kevin McCloud’s UK Superstructures (x2) 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Trafalgar Battle Surgeon 10.00 SAS: Special Forces Heroes 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am How Stuff’s Made (x2)

11.00am Mysterious Ways (x5) 4.00pm FILM: Sub Zero (2005) 6.10 TBA 8.00 FILM: Komodo Vs Cobra (2005) 9.50 Knight Rider 10.50 Heroes 11.50 Heroes 12.50am FILM: Darkness Falls (2003) 2.30 3rd Rock From The Sun (x3) 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho

1.30pm The Front Page (1974) 3.20 Anna And The King Of Siam (1946) 5.35 Notorious (1946) 7.20 Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 9.00 Junior Bonner (1972) 10.50 In The Heat Of The Night (1967) 12.45am Notorious (1946) 2.35 Journey To The Far Side Of The Sun (1969)

9.00am Be Kind Rewind (2008) 10.45 Sunshine (2007) 12.35pm Detroit Rock City (1999) 2.15 Mumford (1999) 4.15 The Lives Of Others (2006) 6.40 The Escapist (2001) 8.15 Be Kind Rewind (2008) 10.00 In Bruges (2008) 11.50 Sunshine (2007) 1.40am The Escapist (2001)

11.00am The Way West (1967) 1.20pm Night Train To Munich (1940) 3.10 The True Story Of Jesse James (1956) 5.00 James And The Giant Peach (1996) 6.40 Elizabethtown (2005) 9.00 There’s Something About Mary (1998) 11.20 The Thomas Crown Affair (1968) 1.20am Big Nothing (2006)

9.25am On The Town (1949) 11.15 Carson City (1952) 1.00pm The Great Bank Robbery (1969) 3.00 My Favorite Year (1982) 4.50 Bachelor In Paradise (1961) 6.55 Mrs Soffel (1984) 9.00 Spawn (1997) 10.55 Lone Star (1996) 1.30am Spawn (1997) 3.20 You’re A Big Boy Now (1966) 5.00 The Great Bank Robbery (1969)

3.40pm The Brittas Empire 4.20 My Family 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 Dinnerladies 7.00 Steptoe And Son 7.40 Yes, Prime Minister 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 9.00 FILM: Three Men And A Little Lady 11.05 Jonathan Creek 12.15am Hippies 12.55 The New Statesman

3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 South Park (x5) 11.30 The Sarah Silverman Programme 12.00am Edinburgh And Beyond

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saturday 8 BBC Proms 2009 BBC2, 7pm From the Royal Albert Hall comes some of that fabuloso music we are so lucky to have in such abundance at this, the 115th season of BBC Proms. As just one of 76 concerts forming the Proms be dazzled at the consistently high quality of the virtuoso musicians. They’re great, they are.

An Audience With Neil Diamond ITV1, 7.20pm Anyone who’s played their own show in Vegas is gonna be a great showman. Add into the mix some cracking songs like ‘America,‘ ‘Sweet Caroline‘ and ‘Love On The Rocks‘ and Diamond’s first UK televised special is bound to be a treat. Plus songs from his new album.

Tim Minchin: Live E4, 11.05pm To give you a taster of one of the stars of this year’s Brighton Comedy Festival, check out the gifted musician and comic from Down Under. Using his eyeliner to accentuate whenever he rolls his eyes while sitting at his grand piano, there is no other like the wit and fun of Tim Minchin. Bears and being ginger feature.

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6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.30 Eating In The Sun 12.00pm BBC News 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Racing From Ascot: Shergar Cup 2.00 Rugby League: Challenge Cup Semi-final 4.30 Final Score 5.05 BBC News 5.15 South East Today 5.20 Match Of The Day Live: West Bromwich Albion V Newcastle

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Fimbles 6.55 Take A Bow 7.00 Animalia 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 Funky Fables 7.50 Eliot Kid 8.05 Wolverine And The XMen 8.30 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 8.55 Diddy Dick And Dom 9.00 Skate Nation 10.00 Transmission Impossible With Ed And Oucho 11.30 Furry Facts 11.35 Young Dracula 12.05pm The Sky At Night 12.25 FILM: Whistle Down The Wind (1961) 2.00 Racing From Ascot 4.30 Flog It! 5.30 Hardeep Singh Kohli Returns To The National Eisteddfod

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Countrywise 9.55 Planet’s Funniest Animals 10.50 FILM: Zeppelin (1971) 12.45pm ITV News And Weather 12.50 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Celebrity 1.50 Beat The Star 3.05 FILM: The Accidental Tourist (1988) 5.20 Meridian News And Weather 5.35 ITV News And Weather 5.50 You’ve Been Framed!

6.00 Coast Geographer Nicholas Crane presents a 13-part journey around the coast of the United Kingdom, uncovering stories that have made us the island nation we are today. 7.00 BBC Proms 2009 See highlights. 9.00 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. During an exercise, Captain Mainwaring takes the role of a highly important secret agent – but the regular army is not convinced. 9.30 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Extended version of the classic news quiz. With Paul Merton and Ian Hislop. Entertaining way to catch up on the week’s events. 10.10 Mock The Week Two teams of comedians take a satirical swipe at the news and world events. Host Dara O’Briain is joined by regulars Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons, and guests the lovely Mark Watson and fab Brightonian Zoe Lyons. 10.40 The Funny Side Of TV Talent Clive Anderson guides us through the history of television’s talent shows. Where did they come from? How have they evolved? And why do we so frequently end up laughing at them? 11.40 The Culture Show Extended repeat of Wednesday’s show. 12.30am Horne And Corden 1.00 FILM: Ash Wednesday (2002)

6.20 That’s What I Call Television In tonight’s episode, Fern Britton is joined by guest co-host Bradley Walsh, who picks his favourite programmes, theme tunes and ads from TV’s golden decade of 19791989. Some classic TV moments are recreated. A geezer pleaser. 7.20 An Audience With Neil Diamond See highlights. 8.20 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Ten hopeful contestants compete for a place in the hotseat opposite Chris Tarrant, and a chance to walk away with the top prize of a million pounds. Like they’d get that much without the tabloids telling us first. 9.20 A Touch Of Frost Frost investigates when a couple returning home from holiday find the body of a stranger in their bed. And while tackling a murder case, he accidentally discovers a cache of rare and exotic animals. 11.20 ITV News And Weather 11.35 FILM: Blue Crush (2002) Starring Kate Bosworth, Michelle Rodriguez, Matthew Davis. Romantic drama in which a top female surfer training for a high-profile competition in Hawaii finds her preparation jeopardised when she falls for a hunky American football player. 1.30am Holly & Fearne Go Dating 1.55 FILM: Outbreak (1995) 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News

6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.20 The Mr. Men Show 8.35 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.50 The Secret Of Eel Island 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.20 Rupert Bear 9.35 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Mobil 1 The Grid 10.30 Mean Machines 11.00 The Gadget Show 12.00pm Axe Men 1.00 Big, Bigger, Biggest 2.00 FILM: Soccer Dog: European Cup (2004) 3.45 FILM: Big Jim McLain (1952) 5.30 Five News 5.40 FILM: National Lampoon’s Vegas Vacation (1997) 7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights of the fourth Test between England and Australia at Headingley Carnegie. 8.00 The Guardian Drama series about a high-flying lawyer who is sentenced to community service. The success of Nick’s lawsuit against a pharmaceutical company depends on a young boy accusing his father of murder. There’s accepting flawed parents and then there’s this. 9.00 NCIS Drama series. The team struggles to locate a terrorist who is on a mission to kill Gibbs. But the assassin is already preparing a contingency plan that threatens the life of another NCIS agent. Eeny, meeny, miny... 9.55 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. A double fatality at a Korea Town block party has the CSIs on the hunt for a missing boy who was the key witness to the shooting of his mother and uncle. Poor kid. 10.55 Law And Order: SVU Drama series. The detectives are called to a sniper shooting at a primary school. The investigation soon leads them to a group of vicious white supremacists – but which of them is the killer? 11.55 Quiz Call 4.00am The Gadget Show 4.45 Rough Guide To Weekend Breaks 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Barclays Premier League World 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 9.00 Cricket AM 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 2009 (x2) 7.00 LIVE World Golf Championship 11.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 1.00am World Golf Championship 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 Ocean Adventures

7.30 Total Wipeout Richard Hammond hosts more crashes, smashes and hilarious mud splashes on the world’s most ridiculous and extreme obstacle course. Even worse than that one you made with your brother when you were nine. 8.30 The National Lottery: Guesstimation Nick Knowles hosts the game show in which two families try to out-think each other to win a dream holiday, with the help of special guests performing unusual challenges. By whose definition are these challenges ‘unusual’? 9.20 Outnumbered Semi-improvised sitcom. Mum and Dad try to negotiate the living hell that is being trapped in a foreign airport with young children. Ben wants to know the Spanish for ‘Can I have a go with your machine gun?’. Imagine if that was in your phrasebook! 9.50 BBC News 10.15 FILM: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) Starring Angelina Jolie, Jon Voight, Noah Taylor. Action tale adapted from the popular video game in which the eponymous heroine races against time to find an ancient relic before it falls into the wrong hands. 11.45 The Football League Show Highlights from the day’s Football League games. 12.45am Weatherview 12.50 BBC News

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 The Cooper Tyres British Formula 3 International Series 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Yo Gabba Gabba 9.25 Friends 9.55 10 Sexiest Beach Videos 10.55 Friends 11.25 Dizzee Rascal’s Postcard From T4 On The Beach 11.40 Shooting Lily Allen 12.15pm The Inbetweeners’ Postcard From T4 On The Beach 12.30 Big Brother 1.30 Big Brother 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Gok’s Fashion Fix 5.05 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (x2) 6.05 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions Cookery reality show. 6.35 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions More glazing and bickering. 7.05 Channel 4 News 7.30 ER Final series of the American drama set in the emergency room of Chicago’s busy General Hospital. Neela is having dreams in which she tries to save a girl with sickle cell anemia. She also dreams of seeing an old colleague, welcoming Brenner back from Australia, and helping Gates and Banfield try to save a dream runner. Does she wake up in the shower with Bobby Ewing? 8.25 ER Final series. Morris treats a teenage girl who is acting in an agitated state after being hit by a car. Sam is furious with Gates after learning that he spent the night with Daria. She decides their relationship is over for good, but Gates still has feelings for her. Lucky her. 9.20 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house. 10.20 Lee Evans: XL Tour Energetic stand-up comedian Lee Evans returns with his record-breaking live XL Tour. 11.30 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr’s guests are Shane Warne, Patsy Kensit and Gok Wan. 12.15am Big Brother’s Big Mouth 1.15 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Revelations: Divorce: Jewish Style 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 5.55 The Treacle People

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Ocean Adventures 6.30 LIVE Rugby Union (x2) 10.30 Football League: Championship 12.00pm Gillette World Sport 12.30 LIVE Football League 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.30 Live World Golf Championship 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 LIVE: Speedway 10.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.30 Gillette World Sport 11.00 NFL - Total Access 12.00am LLIVE Tennis 2.00 Speedway 4.30 Max Power 5.30 Mountain Bike World

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Gillette World Sport 6.30 Tight Lines 7.30 Football League: Championship 9.00 WWE Smackdown 11.00 WWE The Bottom Line 12.00pm Max Power 1.00 Gillette World Sport 1.30 Tennis 3.30 LIVE Tri-Nations Rugby Union 6.00 WWE The Bottom Line 7.00 NFL Total Access 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 The Premiership Years 4.00 Race World 5.00 Sports Unlimited

Victoria Nangle

extraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

E4

More4

Living

12.00pm Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 1.00 Oops TV (x2) 2.00 UK Border Force 3.00 Road Wars 4.00 The Real A & E 5.00 UK Border Force 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Girls Aloud: Out Of Control 9.30 The Simpsons 10.00 Lie To Me (x2) 12.00am Bones 1.00 Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Bizarre ER 7.30 Top Gear 8.30 FILM: Cast Away (2000) 10.45 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow 11.35 Family Guy 12.15am American Dad! 12.35 How Not To Live Your Life 1.05 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 2.05 Underage And Pregnant 2.35 Bizarre ER 3.05 We Are Klang

7.00pm Only Connect 7.30 The Story Of Maths 8.30 All Our Working Lives 9.30 The Miners’ Strike 11.00 Dounreay: The Atomic Dream 12.00am Truth, Lies, Oil And Scotland 1.00 Blues At The BBC 2.00 Blues Britannia: Can Blue Men Play The Whites? 3.30 Only Connect

10.55am Coronation Street Omnibus 1.20pm Holiday Showdown 2.20 America’s Got Talent (x4) 7.20 FILM: Johnny English (2002) 9.20 FILM: Jurassic Park (1993) 11.40 FILM: 40 Days And 40 Nights (2002) 1.35am America’s Got Talent 2.00 America’s Got Talent 2.25 The Ricki Lake Show 3.05 Teleshopping

11.25am Upstairs, Downstairs 12.30pm The Charmer 1.30 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.35 The Turn Of The Screw 4.35 Goodnight Sweetheart (x2) 5.50 Inspector Morse 7.55 Wycliffe 9.00 FILM: Overboard (1987) 11.20 FILM: Mermaids (1990) 1.30am Wycliffe 2.25 On The Buses 2.50 Film File

10.40am Heartland 11.40 Privileged 12.40pm Roswell (x2) 2.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Reaper 7.00 The Big Bang Theory 7.30 The Loop 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997) 11.05 Tim Minchin: Live. See highlights. 1.10am Big Brother: Live

12.15pm Time Team 1.20 FILM: The Sons Of Katie Elder (1965) 3.40 Grand Designs (x5) 9.00 Engineering Britain’s Superweapons (x3) 12.10am The West Wing 1.10 Engineering Britain’s Superweapons 2.15 Engineering Britain’s Superweapons (x2)

1.00pm Charmed 2.00 Make Me A Supermodel US 3.00 Nothing To Declare (x8) 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Medium (x4) 12.00am The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (x2) 1.00am The Real Housewives Of Orange County 2.00 Boston Legal (x3) 4.40 Men In Trees 5.30 Home Shopping

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

12.00pm American Chopper (x6) 6.00 Mega Builders 7.00 Superships (x2) 9.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 10.00 Minutes From Disaster 11.00 The World’s Deadliest Gangs (x2) 12.00am How Stuff’s Made (x2) 1.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 2.00 Minutes From Disaster 3.00 The World’s Deadliest Gangs (x2)

4.30pm The Making Of A Legend 5.00 Knight Rider 6.00 FILM: Dungeons And Dragons: Wrath Of The Dragon God (2005) 8.00 FILM: Cyclops (2008) 9.50 FILM: Darkness Falls (2003) 11.30 FILM: Universal Soldier II: Brothers In Arms (1998) 1.30am FILM: Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business (1998)

11.40am Gunfight At The OK Corral (1957) 1.50pm The Top 10 Show 2.05 The Greatest Show On Earth (1952) 4.45 The War Lord (1965) 6.50 Gunfight At The OK Corral (1957) 9.00 Hondo (1953) 10.30 The Greatest Show On Earth (1952) 1.05am The Miracle Of Morgan’s Creek (1944)

10.50am The Air I Breathe (2007) 12.35pm Ride With The Devil (1999) 3.00 The Movie Geek 3.30 I’m Not There (2007) 5.50 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 8.20 The Air I Breathe (2007) 10.00 Lenny (1974) 11.55 The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) 1.35am I’m Not There (2007)

11.00am Doctor At Large (1957) 1.00pm Cheaper By The Dozen (2003) 2.50 The Quiller Memorandum (1966) 4.55 Explorers (1985) 7.00 The Thomas Crown Affair (1968) 9.00 The Day After Tomorrow (2004) 11.20 Reeker (2005) 1.05am American Splendor (2003) 3.05 Tony Scott Interview

8.55am Bachelor In Paradise (1961) 10.55 Mrs Soffel (1984) 1.00pm One Spy Too Many (1966) 3.00 Meet Me In St Louis (1944) 5.05 Bad Day At Black Rock (1955) 6.40 The Sins Of Rachel Cade (1961) 9.00 Fame (1980) 11.50 Lean On Me (1989) 1.50am Cannery Row (1982) 3.50 Freaks (1932)

1.15pm Only Fools And Horses 2.00 FILM: Three Men And A Little Lady (1990) 4.05 Open All Hours 4.45 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 6.05 Open All Hours (x2) 7.25 Only Fools And Horses 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.10 The Royle Family 11.30 Harry Enfield And Chums 12.10am Murder Most Horrid

4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Lee Evans Live From The West End 10.30 Edinburgh And Beyond 11.30 Comedy Store Special 12.00am Comedy Store

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sunday 9 Revelations: Talking To The Dead Channel 4, 7pm We fight for our freedom to believe whatever we want, yet what we believe is being examined more closely than ever. Richard Alwyn provides an intimate look at a Spritualist church in East London where the congregation believe death is just a new beginning. Interesting.

Louis Theroux – The city Addicted To Crystal Meth BBC2, 9pm Another of Louis’ controversial and must-see documentaries, this time hopping over the pond to visit Central Valley, California to find some of the most impoverished rural towns. Here he finds a society permeated with the cheap and addictive drug and looks to the details.

The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency BBC4, 7pm Based on Alexander McCall Smith’s bestselling novels. Mma Ramotswe gets caught up in a dangerous family feud and some even more scary ivory smuggling, while Mma Makutsi looks into Tlokweng Hospital’s spate of mysterious deaths. Beautiful countryside too.

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Channel 4

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6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm BBC News 12.05 Cash In The Attic 12.50 Murder, She Wrote 1.35 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 2.00 EastEnders 4.00 The Rat Pack 4.30 Seaside Rescue 5.00 Songs Of Praise 5.35 BBC News 5.50 South East Today

6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Fimbles 6.55 Take A Bow 7.00 Uncle Max 7.10 Thumb Wrestling Federation 7.15 ChuckleVision 7.30 Gimme A Break 8.00 Da Dick And Dom Dairies 8.25 Diddy Dick And Dom 8.30 M.I. High 9.00 Undercover Dads 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Escape To The Country 12.00pm Animal Park - Wild On The West Coast 1.00 FILM: Only Angels Have Wings (1939) 3.00 Fred Dibnah’s Made In Britain 3.30 Rugby League: Challenge Cup Semi-Final

6.00am GMTV 9.25 Britain’s Favourite View 9.40 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.55 ITV News And Weather 12.00pm Wish You Were Here - Now And Then 12.30 Dream Homes 1.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 2.30 Columbo: Identity Crisis 4.30 Lewis

6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 World Superbikes 7.30 Freesports On 4 8.00 British Triathlon Grand Prix 8.30 The McCain Track And Field Show 9.00 Big Brother 10.00 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.30pm Big Brother’s Little Brother 1.30 Friends 2.00 Friends 2.35 Ugly Betty 3.35 The Simpsons 4.05 The Simpsons 4.40 FILM: Brewster’s Millions (1985)

6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 9.00 Sunday Supplement 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 2009 (x2) 7.00 LIVE: World Golf Championship 11.00 Football: FA Community Shield: Chelsea V Manchester United 1.00am World Golf Championship 3.00 Football: Emirates Cup 5.00 Wild Spirits 5.30 FEI Equestrian World

6.00 Harry Patch: The Last Tommy Biography of Harry Patch, the WW1 soldier who fought in the trenches and who died at the end of July 2009. 7.00 Countryfile Julia Bradbury and Matt Baker head to the Isle of Wight, home to the largest sailing regatta in the world. 8.00 Jam And Jerusalem Comedy drama series written by Jennifer Saunders which takes an affectionate look at village life and the empathy and togetherness found in a local community. In the small town of Clatterford there is a struggling ladies guild trying to survive while their membership dwindles. 9.00 Rivers With Griff Rhys Jones Rivers. They’re a bit wet really. And muddy. And yer Mum tells you to watch out for the weeds when you go swimming but you know better. Rivers. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 FILM: The English Patient (1996) Starring Ralph Fiennes, Kristin Scott Thomas, Juliette Binoche, Willem Dafoe, Naveen Andrews. Sweeping romantic epic set at the end of World War II in which a badly burnt and unidentified pilot recounts to the nurse tending him a doomed love affair with a colleague’s wife. 12.55am Weatherview 1.00 Sign Zone: Seaside Rescue 1.30 Holby City 2.30 Monty Halls’ Great Escape 3.30 Heir Hunters 4.15 BBC News

6.00 Escape To The Country Programme helping people find new rural homes. Alistair Appleton is helping Paul and Nicki Jukes make the move from Windsor to the Cotswolds before their new baby is born. They have a healthy budget to spend, but Alistair’s choice of properties causes some differences of opinion. 7.00 Dragons’ Den Another chance to catch Wednesday’s show. 8.00 Top Gear Motoring news and views from the usual team. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May are challenged to drive from the heart of Switzerland to the North Western coast of England on just one tank of fuel. And as an incentive, the first one to arrive gets to turn on the Blackpool Illuminations. Surely that’s just like Jeremy’s Christmas decorations. 9.00 Louis Theroux – The City Addicted To Crystal Meth See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Munich (2005) Starring Eric Bana, Daniel Craig, Ciaran Hinds, Mathieu Kassovitz, Hanns Zischler, Ayelet Zurer, Geoffrey Rush. Drama based on the Israeli response to the massacre of its athletes at the 1972 Olympics by the Palestinian faction Black September. Multi Oscarnominated fare. 12.30am FILM: The Survivor (1980) 1.50 BBC News

6.30 Meridian News; Weather 6.45 ITV News And Weather 7.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot At a bridge party the host is murdered. Quelle surprise. Isn’t that compulsory with a short Belgian detective in the vicinity? Poirot soon discovers that four of the guests have murdered before as he uses psychology and the bridge scores to find the killer. Maybe next time he could use those to win. 9.00 Single-Handed Police drama set in the west of Ireland. Jack investigates the sudden disappearance of a two-year-old boy in the wilds of Connemara, and finds the case severely testing his romance with Dr Maggie Hunter. Meanwhile, storm clouds are gathering over Jack’s father, retired sergeant Gerry Driscoll. Are his past misdemeanours catching up with him? He’s not running fast enough, obviously. 11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.15 Community Shield Highlights Jim Rosenthal presents extended highlights as Premier League champions Manchester United face FA Cup holders Chelsea in the annual season opener at Wembley. With commentary from Peter Drury and Jim Beglin. 12.15am Crossing Jordan 1.05 A Match Made In Heaven 1.30 Quincy, ME 2.25 Kojak 3.20 Countrywise 3.45 Dog Rescue 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 – 8.20am Children’s television 8.20 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 8.30 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.50 The Secret Of Eel Island 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.20 Rupert Bear 9.35 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Michaela’s Wild Challenge 10.30 Everybody Hates Chris 11.00 Build A New Life In The Country 12.00pm The Hotel Inspector 1.00 Zoo Days 1.10 FILM: East Of Sudan (1964) 2.55 FILM: Darby’s Rangers (1957) 5.10 Five News 5.20 FILM: Treasure Planet (2002) 7.15 Cricket On Five Mark Nicholas presents highlights of the fourth Test between England and Australia at Headingley Carnegie. 8.00 Grizzly Bear Face Off: Austin Stevens’ Adventures Natural history series with adventurer Austin Stevens. Austin heads to the coastal rainforests of Canada for a close encounter with one of the planet’s deadliest land predators - the grizzly bear. Timing his assignment to coincide with the annual salmon run, when hungry bears prowl the rivers for food, Austin attempts to come face to face with a mother and cub. 9.00 FILM: Flight Of Fury (2007) Starring Steven Seagal, Alki David, Ciera Payton, Katie Jones, Cristina Teodorescu and Steve Toussaint. Action thriller in which a former special ops agent is sent to recover a stealth bomber from terrorists. 11.05 FILM: The Stone Killer (1973) Starring Charles Bronson, Martin Balsam, David Sheiner, Norman Fell, Ralph Waite and Paul Koslo. Thriller in which a tough cop stumbles upon a mafioso’s plan to stage a massacre and settle a 40-year grudge with a rival faction. 12.55am SuperCasino 3.00 Boxing 3.45 Boxing USA 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Revelations: Talking To The Dead See highlights. 8.00 Wife Swap Reality programme in which two mothers exchange their partners, children and homes for a short period. Sam Stevens, who spends 14 hours a day running a busy Cornwall pub with her husband, swaps places with Natalie Rayfield, who is the main breadwinner in her relationship with a stay-at-home dad. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Alan Carr hosts his own entertainment chat show, featuring sketches, interviews and audience participation. Guests include Peter Andre, and the Noisettes perform their latest single ‘Wild Young Hearts‘. 10.50 FILM: Bring It On (2000) Starring Kirsten Dunst, Eliza Dushku, Jesse Bradford, Gabrielle Union, Clare Kramer and Huntley Ritter. Teen comedy about the new captain of a successful high school cheerleading team who is horrified to find that their winning routines were stolen from another squad by her predecessor. Time is short if they are to come up with their own original cheer before the new competition. 12.40am Big Brother: Live 4.00 The Big Monster Dig 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 5.55 The Treacle People

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Max Power 7.00 World Golf Championship 11.00 Tri-Nations Rugby Union 12.30pm LIVE Football League 2.45 LIVE FA Community Shield: Chelsea V Manchester United 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 Tennis 8.00 LIVE: Tennis 10.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.30 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 12.30am Tennis 2.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 FEI Equestrian World 7.30 Tri-Nations Rugby Union 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Wild Spirits 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm World Golf Championship 4.00 Golf: USPGA Championship 5.00 World Golf Championship 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 10.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.00 WWE Vintage Collection 12.00am The Premiership Years 2.00 Watersports World 3.00 Close

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12.00pm It’s Me Or The Dog USA (x2) 2.00 The Real A & E 3.00 Oops TV 3.30 Girls Aloud: Out Of Control 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Simpsons (x4) 8.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 9.00 House (x2) 11.00 Lie To Me 12.00am Ross Kemp On Gangs 1.00 Road Wars 1.55 Football Icon 2 2.50 Street Wars

7.00pm Most Annoying People 2008 7.10 FILM: The Princess Diaries (2001) 9.00 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 10.00 Family Guy 10.20 American Dad! 10.45 Boob Job: My Big Decision 11.45 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 12.40am Baby Beauty Queens 1.40 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2)

7.00pm The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency. See highlights. 8.00 Wainwright’s Walks 8.30 Fossil Detectives 9.00 Spanish Flu: The Forgotten Fallen 10.00 Pandemic: A Horizon Guide 11.00 FILM: Walkabout (1971) 12.35am Wilderness Explored 1.35 Spanish Flu: The Forgotten Fallen

1.30pm FILM: Junior (1994) 3.40 The Hoosiers: The Hot Desk 3.50 FILM: Johnny English (2002) 5.40 The Xtra Factor: Winner’s Story 6.40 FILM: Jurassic Park (1993) 9.00 FILM: Kevin And Perry Go Large (2000) 10.45 Entourage 11.20 The Xtra Factor: Winner’s Story 12.25am Ladette To Lady 1.25 Teleshopping

1.50pm Kavanagh QC 3.25 Wycliffe 4.40 FILM: Overboard (1987) 6.45 An Audience With Ronnie Corbett 7.55 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: The Fallen Curtain 9.00 FILM: Mermaids (1990) 11.15 FILM: Reversal Of Fortune (1990) 1.25am A Is For Acid 3.10 The Wonder Years 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus

8.45am Young, Sexy And... Sporty 9.45 Beauty And The Geek 10.40 Desperate Housewives (x5) 3.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 4.00 Heartland 5.00 Friends 5.30 Friends 6.00 Ugly Betty 7.00 Privileged 8.00 One Tree Hill 9.00 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 FILM: Rat Race (2001) 12.10am Big Brother: Live

12.15pm Scrapheap Challenge (x2) 2.30 Coach Trip (x5) 5.10 Come Dine With Me (x5) 8.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Home 9.00 The Secret Millionaire 10.00 My Monkey Baby 11.10 Father Ted 11.45 Curb Your Enthusiasm 12.20am TV Heaven, Telly Hell 12.55 The Secret Millionaire 1.50 My Monkey Baby

11.00am Will And Grace (x2) 12.00pm Bewitched (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Passport Patrol (x10) 7.00 Four Weddings 8.00 Ghost Whisperer 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (x2) 1.00 The Real Housewives Of Orange County

G.O.L.D.

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Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

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TCM

1.00pm Mega Builders 2.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 3.00 How It’s Made (x2) 4.00 Dinosaur Planet 5.00 Weird Creatures With Nick Baker 6.00 Mythbusters 7.00 Swamp Loggers 8.00 Time Warp (x2) 9.00 Extreme Bodies 10.00 I Was Bitten 11.00 SAS: Special Forces Heroes 12.00am How Stuff’s Made

2.50pm FILM: Hercules In The Underworld (1994) 4.40 FILM: Dragon Hunter (2008) 6.30 Legend Of The Seeker: The Making Of A Legend 7.00 Knight Rider 8.00 Dollhouse 9.00 Medium 10.00 FILM: An American Werewolf In London (1981) 12.00am FILM: Komodo Vs Cobra (2005) 1.50 Medium 3.00 Mysterious Ways

10.55am Anne Of The Thousand Days (1969) 1.25pm Shenandoah (1965) 3.15 Hellfighters (1969) 5.20 Seven Days In May (1964) 7.20 Night And The City (1950) 9.00 Hellfighters (1969) 11.05 Shenandoah (1965) 12.55am Samson And Delilah (1949) 3.10 Seven Days In May (1964)

9.00am Juno (2007) 10.40 Love Me If You Dare (2003) 12.15pm The Serpent (2006) 2.20 There Will Be Blood (2007) 5.00 Margot At The Wedding (2007) 6.35 Juno (2007) 8.15 Psycho (1998) 10.00 There Will Be Blood (2007) 12.35am Margot At The Wedding (2007) 2.10 Psycho (1998)

11.00am Carry On Doctor (1968) 1.00pm Bogus (1996) 3.10 The Thief Of Bagdad (1940) 5.15 The Spanish Gardener (1956) 7.05 Home Alone 3 (1997) 9.00 Hope Floats (1998) 11.10 The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994) 12.45am White Men Can’t Jump (1992)

7.10am Meet Me In St Louis (1944) 9.05 Bad Day At Black Rock (1955) 10.40 The Sins Of Rachel Cade (1961) 1.00pm Firecreek (1968) 3.00 Elvis On Tour (1972) 4.50 Now, Voyager (1942) 7.10 Soylent Green (1973) 9.00 The Story Of Us (1999) 10.50 Sweet Bird Of Youth (1962) 1.10am The Story Of Us (1999)

12.00pm Open All Hours 12.40 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 3.50 Open All Hours (x2) 5.10 Only Fools And Horses 6.45 Open All Hours 7.20 Only Fools And Horses 9.00 The Royle Family 10.20 Harry Enfield And Chums 11.00 Only Fools And Horses (x3) 1.00am Murder Most Horrid 1.40 The New Statesman (x3)

9.00am Everybody Loves Raymond (x17) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x6) 9.00 South Park: The Seven Deadly Sins (x4) 11.00 Lee Evans Live From The West End 12.30am Scrubs 1.00 Rules Of Engagement 1.30 The Office: An American Workplace 2.00 South Park: The Seven Deadly Sins (x4)

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Page 1

monday 10 Bang Goes The Theory BBC1, 7.30pm Fun, fun, fun – in the same way your mother told you not to play on the swings like that or there’d be tears before bedtime. Jem uses two domestic vacuum cleaners to climb up the side of the building. So much more than grazed knees in the balance here. And Dallas traces the global journey of 3000 plastic ducks. Fab.

The Queen’s Coronation: Behind Palace Doors Channel 4, 8pm Princess Elizabeth’s coronation in 1953 was a glitzy affair – as the occasion demanded. But behind the veneer of the royal family portrait conflict was erupting between the Queen Mother and Prince Philip. This documentary tells all giving further insight into the House of Windsor.

Jeeves And Wooster ITV3, 7.55pm Before there was House or QI the best place to catch Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry was in this delightful adaptation of P. G. Wodehouse’s eternal bachelor stories, aided by his trusty manservant. Tonight’s jape sees Bertie Wooster decide he’s in love with Bobbie Wickham and compete with another suitor.

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Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Best Of Friends 4.35 Animals At Work 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 ChuckleVision 8.15 Arthur 8.30 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 Krypto The Superdog 9.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 10.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 10.30 Deadly 60 11.00 FILM: On The Beat (1962) 12.45pm Castle In The Country 1.15 Open Gardens 1.45 Animal Park 2.15 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic

6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm For The Rest Of Your Life 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Golden Balls

6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Knowitalls Gyles Brandreth presents the third quarter-final of the quiz without questions. 7.00 Meet The British Semi-naked women, wurlitzers and prize goats are just a selection of items used by the British government to promote the country’s image abroad. For four decades, the government produced thousands of little films to sell an ideal Britain overseas and now, for the first time, they are shown to us. 8.00 University Challenge It is Scotland v England as students from the University of Edinburgh compete against the University of Central Lancashire. 8.30 What To Eat Now Valentine Warner concludes his guide to seasonal cooking and eating. 9.00 The Trouble With Girls Observational documentary looking at 20-year-old Shona and 17-year-old Abbie, two young women stuck in the criminal justice system. 10.00 How Not To Live Your Life Sitcom about 20-something Don. Don gets a new job working at Karl’s dad’s company. The competition between the two becomes rife. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed drama series about drug dealers and police in West Baltimore. 12.20am BBC News

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Natasha and Mark feel uneasy about the friendship between Ryan and Nathan. 7.30 Coronation Street Gail is left reeling by the fallout from Joe’s addiction. She does pick ‘em! 8.00 Airline In Bristol, rumour has gotten round that passenger service agent Sarah Borland is having a makeover and auditioning for The X Factor... but will her performance be good enough to put her through to bootcamp? Cross-branded telly now. 8.30 Coronation Street Will Tony reveal his true feelings to Maria? 9.00 Monday Monday Comedy drama set in the head office of a struggling supermarket chain. Christine volunteers Sally for a job swap, and is pleased when Sally’s temporary replacement turns out to be gorgeous young supermarket worker Gillen. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Matrix Reloaded (2003) Starring Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Hugo Weaving, Carrie Moss. Sci-fi sequel. The rebels continue to resist the machines that have trapped the human race in a computer-generated world. 12.55am Nightwatch With Steve Scott (x2) 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News

6.00 – 8.10am Children’s television 8.10 Peppa Pig 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.45 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.10 Hana’s Helpline 9.20 Funky Valley 9.25 Olivia 9.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Zoo Days 2.50 Property List Top Spots 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.10 FILM: Britannic (2000) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip Wildlife documentary series. Michaela arrives at Chester Zoo to meet a rare new arrival - Bashira the three-week-old rhino calf. Ahh. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights of the fourth Test between England and Australia at Headingley Carnegie. 8.00 The Gadget Show Consumer technology show. Suzi and Ortis explore wireless technology during a race from London to Plymouth, Jon examines intelligent ovens and Jason plays games online. 9.00 The Hotel Inspector Alex Polizzi transforms failing hotels across the UK. Alex climbs aboard floating hotel the African Queen. With the boat running at just 30 per cent occupancy, owners Bonny and Andy are at breaking point. Can the hotel inspector throw this beleaguered couple a life jacket? 10.00 Manson Feature-length dramadocumentary tracing the story of Charles Manson and his ‘Family’. Manson and his followers committed several high-profile murders in Los Angeles in 1969. This film pieces together events with the help of firsthand accounts and reconstructions. 12.05am Lockdown 1.05 NASCAR Sprint Cup 2.00 Race And Rally UK 2.45 Motorsport Mundial 3.10 FIM Motocross 3.55 V8 Supercars (x2) 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Great Artists

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Ocean Adventures 9.30 FEI Equestrian World 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 2009 (x2) 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE: Football: Carling Cup 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 1.30am Football: Carling Cup 3.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.00 Watersports World 5.00 Max Power

6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Bang Goes The Theory See highlights. 8.00 EastEnders Ronnie tries to relive her past, but there is a nasty surprise waiting in the wings. 8.30 Panorama Panorama visits the town tackling binge drinking with a radical new approach. Richard Bilton looks at reclaiming Britain’s town centres from the drunk and violent, with the bar that makes it too difficult to get drunk and the battle against cheap drink promotions. Is there an obstacle course to the bar? 9.00 The Street Award-winning drama series. Shay is forced to reassess his life and his alcoholism when he meets Otto, his 16-year-old son with Down’s Syndrome, for the first time. Wake up call and a half. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Would I Lie To You? Host Rob Brydon joins regular team captains David Mitchell and Lee Mack for the comedy panel show. 11.05 Blood, Sweat And Takeaways Brits go behind the scenes sourcing convenience food. 12.05am FILM: I Witness (2003) 1.40 Weatherview 1.45 Sign Zone: The Supersizers Eat... The Fifties 2.45 Desperate Romantics 3.45 Taking The Flak 4.15 BBC News

6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 7.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Big Brother 8.55 Friends 9.25 Friends 9.55 Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince: T4 Movie Special 10.25 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 12.00pm News 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Bag Ladies 12.35 A Place By The Sea 1.35 FILM: The Gunfighter (1950) 3.10 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 3.40 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.10 Deal Or No Deal: Noel’s Hall Of Fame 5.00 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (x2) 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Leila is shocked to get a message from Elliot’s father, Gareth, telling her he is in town. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 The Queen’s Coronation: Behind Palace Doors See highlights. 9.00 On Tour With The Queen On the 60th anniversary of the Commonwealth, actor, playwright and second generation immigrant Kwame Kwei-Armah retraces the Queen’s 1953 journey around the Colonies. Lasting six months and taking in five continents, the newly-crowned Queen Elizabeth’s 45,000-mile tour was the most ambitious royal excursion ever undertaken. Kwame begins his trip by visiting Bermuda, Jamaica and Tonga, where he meets King George Tupou V. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the last 24 hours in the BB house. 11.10 Wife Swap Reality programme in which two mothers exchange their partners, children and homes for a short period. Sam Stevens, who spends 14 hours a day running a busy Cornwall pub with her husband, swaps places with Natalie Rayfield, who is the main breadwinner in her relationship with a stay-at-home dad. 12.15am Big Brother: Live 4.00 The Big Monster Dig 5.00 Scrapheap Challenge 5.55 Sali Mali

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 9.00 FA Community Shield: Chelsea V Manchester United 11.00 World Golf Championship 3.00pm Aerobics: Oz Style 3.30 Max Power 4.30 Ocean Adventures 5.00 FA Community Shield: Chelsea V Manchester United 7.00 Spirit Of Golf 7.30 LIVE: Elite League Speedway 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 PokerStars Caribbean Adventure 11.00 Elite League Speedway 1.00am Time Of Our Lives 2.00 PokerStars Caribbean Adventure 3.00 Showjumping 4.00 The Irish Golfer 4.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 8.00am WWE The Bottom Line 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Ocean Adventures 12.30 FEI Equestrian World 1.00 The Premiership Years 3.00 Ocean Adventures 3.30 FEI Equestrian World 4.00 WWE Raw 6.00 Showjumping 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 The Irish Golfer 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 Live WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close

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2.00pm A Town Called Eureka 3.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 Night Cops 11.00 Premiership’s 50 Greatest Goals 12.30am The 50 Greatest TV Endings

7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Bizarre ER 8.30 Underage And Pregnant 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 We Are Klang 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Little Britain 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Underage And Pregnant 12.15am Gavin And Stacey 12.45 How Not To Live Your Life

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Legends: Val Doonican Rocks 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Wallander 10.30 Crude Britannia: The Story Of North Sea Oil (x3) 1.30 Only Connect 2.00 Style On Trial 3.00 Style On Trial 5.30 Close

1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 9.00 FILM: GI Jane (1997) 11.30 Coronation Street (x2) 12.30am FILM: I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Upstairs Downstairs 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.10 The Beiderbecke Affair 5.15 Rising Damp 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 7.55 Jeeves And Wooster. See highlights. 9.00 Martina Cole’s Lady Killers 10.00 Taggart 11.00 The Bill 12.05am A Is For Acid

2.00pm Big Brother 3.00 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Shameless 11.05 Free Agents (x2) 12.10am Big Brother: Live

5.05pm Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Property Snakes And Ladders 10.00 The Home Show 11.10 Kevin McCloud And The Big Town Plan 12.10am Property Snakes And Ladders 1.15 The Home Show

12.50pm The Fix 1.00 60 Minute Makeover 2.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Make Me A Supermodel US 9.00 Four Weddings 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (x2) 12.00am Criminal Minds

G.O.L.D.

Comedy Central

Discovery

Sci Fi

Sky Movies

Sky Movies

Film4

TCM

3.00pm Hitler’s Henchmen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Kevin McCloud’s UK Superstructures (x2) 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Time Warp (x2) 10.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am How Stuff’s Made

12.05pm Thunderbirds (x4) 4.20 FILM: Dragon Hunter (2008) 6.10 FILM: Hercules And The Amazon Women (1994) 8.00 FILM: DragonQuest (2009) 9.50 Bionic Woman 10.50 Medium 11.50 Medium 12.50am FILM: Ogre (2008) 3.00 Mysterious Ways 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho

10.40am Two For The Road (1967) 12.40pm Lover Come Back (1961) 2.30 The Producers (1968) 4.00 Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 5.40 Giant (1956) 9.00 Attack! (1956) 10.50 Les Miserables (1935) 12.40am Fourteen Hours (1951) 2.15 The Boston Strangler (1968)

9.00am Once (2006) 10.30 Girlfight (2000) 12.25pm Goodbye Bafana (2007) 2.25 The Singer (2006) 4.20 Once (2006) 5.50 Cradle Will Rock (1999) 8.05 Girlfight (2000) 10.00 Mongol (2007) 12.10am Crash (1996) 1.55 Requiem For A Dream (2000) 3.40 Crash (1996)

11.00am The Man In Grey (1943) 1.25pm Night Train To Munich (1940) 3.15 The Riddle Of The Sands (1979) 5.15 The Wrong Arm Of The Law (1963) 7.05 Revenge Of The Pink Panther (1978) 9.00 Crash (2004) 11.10 Kiss Of The Dragon (2001) 1.05am From The Life Of The Marionettes (1980)

1.00pm Great Catherine (1968) 3.00 Promises In The Dark (1979) 5.20 The Spy With My Face (1966) 7.00 Stop The World - I Want To Get Off! (1966) 9.00 The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight (1971) 10.50 The Big Red One (1980) 12.55am The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight (1971)

4.20pm My Family 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 Dinnerladies 7.00 Steptoe And Son 7.40 Yes, Prime Minister 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 9.00 Only Fools And Horses (x3) 11.00 Absolutely Fabulous 11.40 French And Saunders Easter Special 12.35am Murder Most Horrid

4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Rules Of Engagement 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.30 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.30 South Park (x3)

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