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8/7/09
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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
11 – 17 August 2009
FREE WEEKLY
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★
To the max
Orlando’s blooming Why holiday-makers return to sunny Florida
Music and extreme sports at the White Air Festival page 11
Making waves Beachdown is set to rock Devil’s Dyke
Heather Mills A call to arms for politicians
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8/4/09
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003_LS436_contents
8/7/09
1:27 PM
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Contents ★ latest upfront 4–10 4 Travel: Zara Baker visits sunny Florida 5 Seann’s off alcohol – for a limited time 5 Will takes a break from adulthood 6 Competitions: win aquarium tickets 6 Social diary: Pride; Apple store launch 7 Dani wants to make her own mind up 8 Bare Cheek: festivals you won’t see 8 Astral Angi: sun worshipping
★ latest listings 16–27 16 Stage Prepare to be entertained…
16 Film All the hottest summer flicks
17 Art Neurotica at the Impure Gallery
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17 Sport The rollercoaster game of cricket
18 Music Get ready for Beachdown Latest Brighton Download Chart
10 News: fishy business; absent-minded Brighton; street celebrations
TOP
9 Celeb City: Will Young and a tie-breaker
★ latest lifestyle 11–15
Welcome F
30
19 Clubs Fall head over heels at Summer of Love
20 Gay listings 11 Cover story: headlining music acts and extreme sports in the White Air Festival
13 Food: Dermot O’Leary’s Fishy Fishy
Karaoke, quiz nights and cabaret
21 TV Your weekly guide to what’s on the box
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14 Hotlist: Eat your way through this lot 15 V-Bites: Heather Mills says it’s time for politicians to play their part
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17
01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Managing Editor Bill Smith
Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Business Director Angi Mariani
Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker
Creative Director Andrew Kay
Music Editor Jeff Hemmings
Production Director Fiona McTernan
Sub Editors Pearl Bates Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell
Finance Manager Sharon Caple Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive
Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi
Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer Staff Writers Nick Aldwinckle Ralph Miller Dani Winch Clubs Writer Jaime Pettit Books Writer John O‘Donoghue
Advertising Director Lynne Edward Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless
Latest Homes Unit 1, Level 5 North New England House New England Street Brighton BN1 4GH
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or the first time next month the White Air Festival is relocating from the Isle of Wight to Brighton. Our city’s seafront will become a stage for some top music acts including the Doves and Biffy Clyro. White Air is a unique festival as it combines live music with stunning displays of extreme sports, which will take place on land and in the water. Read more in our special cover story as we preview one of the most thrilling festivals to come to Brighton (p11). In other music news (p18), Jeff Hemmings previews Beachdown Festival, which is set to make waves at Devil’s Dyke later this month. The Latest 7 Brighton music chart (p18) is the place for local acts to make their mark on the music scene. Upload your tracks to our website www.thelatest.co.uk/ 7/music-chart; listen to music and have your say in what makes the top 30 each week, which is published here in Latest 7. Celebrity columnist Heather Mills says it’s time to put the environment first in VBites of Wisdom (p15). Will it take brave leading from politicians to make the environmental changes our world needs? In Latest news (p10), Phil Mills reports on irresponsible fishing just off the South Coast and new reports which reveal Brighton residents being among the most absent-minded in Britain. Maybe it’s because we lead such busy, full lives… Andy Winter brings us the latest news from Sussex Cricket (p17). Like the weather, the game has been a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. Andrew Kay dines at Dermot O’Leary’s new Brighton restaurant Fishy Fishy (p13). Never one to shy away from adventurous food, Andrew tucks into the crab and saves space for dessert, all in the name of research of course. If you’re planning a music gig or local event, let us know to be included in our weekly listings. We bring together the best events happening across the city each week from club nights and music to art and theatre. Don’t forget there’re comprehensive listings online at www.thelatest.co.uk/7/listings
004_LS436_travel
8/6/09
12:25 PM
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04 TRAVEL
L7 travel
✈
Sunshine state Zara Baker finds Orlando, Florida really is the happiest place on earth irstly, believe the hype: Orlando is amazing. As the home to Disney and some of the most exciting theme parks in the world, it has something for all ages; if the big rides aren’t for you, each park has a number of www.gatorland.com shows and attractions to keep you occupied. And with constant innovations – Universal’s Islands Of Adventure park, for instance, is set to open its Hogwarts in 2010 – there are always reasons to return. You know what to expect when it comes to Florida, so here’re some tips on planning your Orlando trip… Book your theme park tickets in advance to save money and time on the day. Hire a car if you’re confident driving in the States. The distance between parks can take you by surprise: Walt Disney World alone covers nearly 50 miles. If you do rely on public transport, taxis are incredibly cheap and most hotel/apartments based on International Drive offer free shuttles. Prepare for the weather! Orlando is incredibly hot, reaching 90°F plus in the summer months. Stay hydrated with plenty of water on trips to avoid heat exhaustion. The storm season stretches from June to November, and when it storms out there, it really storms. Pack a rain coat – you’ll need it. All rides close temporarily in severe weather. If the weather outlook looks bleak for the entire day, visit the outlet stores. Designer clothes including Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger are available at a fraction of the normal cost. Finally, discover something new. It’s easy to get caught up in the mainstream and wonder of Disney, Sea World and Universal. Florida has plenty of swamp land and a ride on the everglades or a visit to Gatorland is a chance to see some of Florida’s first residents before Mickey Mouse moved in!
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Truly Independent, Truly Unique. 4 Church Street, Brighton, BN1 1UJ Tel: 01273 608351 leisure@johnproctortravel.com www.johnproctortravel.com
Plan your visit at www.florida.co.uk
Top five attractions 1. Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure These adjoining ‘grown-up’ theme parks are home to some of the biggest thrill rides. You can discover Jaws, Spiderman, The Mummy and even The Simpsons in residence. The nightlife at City Walk is also second to none. 2. Walt Disney World Fantastic fun for adults and children. The wildlife at Animal Kingdom is amazing; Hollywood Studios is action-packed and Magic Kingdom is where dreams are made. 3. Gatorland A chance to see some of the deadliest crocodiles and gators,
including the rare white alligators. Fantastic shows include gator wrestling and gator jumping. 4. Sea World/Aquatica A thrilling theme park surrounded by amazing creatures from the deep. Be sure to catch the popular Shamu (whale) show and Seymour and Clyde’s (sea lion and otter) adventure. Sea World’s newest addition is a water park located next door! 5. Outlet stores Designer clothes and accessories at rock bottom prices. Get your shopping fix in one of the many outlet malls situated just off I-Drive.
005_LS436_will/seann
8/6/09
2:36 PM
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CITY SPEAK 05
Seann ost people go through this phase at least once: at night, we drink to forget all the things we have to do. In the day, we‘re too hungover to do the things we have to do. Then, at night, we drink to forget that. And so on, and so on. This cycle exemplifies many aspects of our relationship with alcohol: it’s the problem, the solution, the distraction, the social lubricant, the thing we cherish in the moment and regret in hindsight. And it is a relationship. At the moment, alcohol and I are on a break. These fleeting bouts of teetotalism, which we all attempt from time to time, enable us to view other people’s drinking habits through sober eyes. There inevitably comes a point during such a spell of sobriety that we go to the pub and timidly drink orange juice while everyone else has fun. The evening progresses, conversation degenerates and sooner or later our friends are drunk. We observe them. And, well, it turns out that drunk people are tragic idiots. They combine a decreasing ability to say anything unembarrassing with an inclination to increase the volume of their speech. Their
Seann Walsh is on a break from alcohol
M
“It turns out that drunk people are tragic idiots”
Will
Will Harris takes a holiday from adulthood
t’s hard to say when my friend K and I turned into babies. It must have been a gradual thing. When we arrived at the hotel we were just another couple of journalists on a press trip, our job to write about a new luxury resort, this cluster of whitewashed, airconditioned villas perched on the southernmost tip of Menorca. We had jobs, landlords, email accounts. We paid taxes and went on dates. Since coming here, things have changed. I know it’s a cliché, but this is paradise. When we are hungry, we are given food. When we are thirsty, we are given drinks. Soft in our cossies, pink skin glistening with creams, we toddle from buffet to buffet, pool to pool. Every day the muscles in our legs grow weaker. Every day our bellies protrude a bit more. We begin to bicker over whose turn it is to waddle the 10 metres to the pool bar. At one end of each sun lounger is a pair of handles, at the other a set of wheels. We debate which of the staff we can get to wheel us around, infant conquistadors in candy-striped chariots. I boast I can probably get a waiter to burp me if I smile sweetly and flutter a five Euro note in his direction. Stretched out around us are investment bankers, trust fund princesses and CEOs, all
I
“We begin to bicker over whose turn it is to waddle to the pool bar”
faces change form, becoming scrunched and pained, whether they’re laughing or crying. They become irascible and childish. And sometimes, in an act of mutual neediness, two of them will go home, ending in a disappointing night together and an awkward morning. I’ve never subscribed to the simplistic idea that alcohol ‘brings out the real you.‘ Drunk people are rude and say inappropriate things not because that’s the real them, but for the sake of it. At the time of drinking, one of the most exhilarating things about alcohol is that it liberates you from inhibition. The morning after, that is perhaps the most regrettable. The reason for this is simple. It is not exclusively bad to be inhibited. I’m thankful that, without alcohol, I feel inhibited from throwing a kebab at my friend, vomiting in a public place and crying about my childhood. Still, whether it’s the ‘real you‘ or not, drunk people are insufferable to be around sober. Next time my friends are drinking, I will get off the wagon and join them. I am willing to abandon my well-meaning abstinence, just to be able to tolerate the company of my friends.
of us the same baby pink, all of us whining and mewling in the sun. Staff rush to and fro with club sandwiches and pina coladas, libations for their baby emperors, anything that will keep us quiet. Is this luxury? I wonder. Is this privilege? Is this, at the end of the day, what everyone wants? All that effort and struggle, every clock-card punched, every time-sheet filled, just to achieve what we had back on day one, free of charge. To be the centre of the universe, and somehow removed from it. In the spa we hide our hair beneath bald-caps and just float, in perfect PH-balanced utero. Time is the last thing to go. With no alarm calls, no routine, the minutes and hours that bind us to our normal lives float away. We drift between the days, sliding in and out of consciousness. I dream we arrive at the airport to find, instead of an aeroplane, a giant birth canal, pulsing red, that we must swim up, up, up, returning to our point of origin. Going home. Our last morning delivers us hard as a midwife’s slap. It dawns on us we have signed everything to our room, every last pina colada. 300 Euros, the receptionist smiles. Of course, we cry like babies. www.twitter.com/william_tells
For comments and chit chat email: letters@thelatest.co.uk
006_LS436_Diary/Comps
8/5/09
5:05 PM
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06 LATEST DIARY
In it to Latest diary win it Tim Richardson hangs out in town and applauds the best Pride float
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Win Aquarium tickets Listen up fish fans, this week we’re giving away a family set of four annual passes to Hastings’ Blue Reef Aquarium. The Aquarium hosts all sorts of sea creatures, including crabs, lobsters, seahorses, octopuses and, in the recently added coral reef walkthrough tunnel, Black Tip Reef sharks, stingrays and hundreds of colourful coral fish. The passes entitle you to free entry to the aquarium for an entire year, so you can really get to know these fascinating creatures of the deep. Your annual pass will also allow you a year’s free entry to Smugglers’ Cove, one of Hastings’ most exciting attractions. A lucky runner-up will also win themselves a single annual pass for both attractions. To be in with a chance to win this great prize, just tell us: Which type of shark is housed in the new coral reef walkthrough tunnel? See below for entry details.
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Win Credo on DVD We’re also giving away three copies of Credo – a horror film written and directed by Brighton based Alex Wakeford and Toni Harman. Credo is the story of a group of students who are forced to move into a haunted house, and stars Stephen Gateley in his movie debut. To be in with a chance to win a copy, just tell us: Which former singer makes his film debut in Credo? See below for entry details. Please note this film is rated 15 and all entrants must be 15 or over. Please include your age in the text of your answer.
To win, email:
competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 24 August.
Sing to win The weather certainly didn’t dampen the spirits of more than 150,000 people who took to the streets of Brighton for the annual parade through the city in this year’s spectacularly themed ‘Pride Beside The Seaside’. Pride spokeswoman Judith Manson said: “The parade looked fantastic, with large crowds lining the street. There were some superb floats.” Before the start of the parade she predicted this year’s procession would be the “biggest and brightest”.The parade was the highlight of the week-long festival which featured more than 100 events and 50 floats in the parade. As the festival in Preston Park came to a close, Brighton Gay Mens’ Chorus was announced as the winner of the best float and The Terrence Higgins Trust was named as the best walking group.
Hands on The Apple Store Churchill Square opened its doors to the public on Saturday 25 July. When the doors opened at 10am, the store staff ran out of the shop giving high-fives to people in the queue that stretched around the entire upper level. The first 1,000 visitors through the door received a free Apple T-shirt. The hands-on Apple Retail Store experience is aimed at giving customers a chance to test-drive Apple’s entire product line. Every Apple Retail Store offers a range of free services designed to help customers get the most out of their Apple products, including face-to-face support and advice at the Genius Bar, hands-on workshops and special programmes for kids. Customers who buy a Mac at the Apple Retail Store or Apple’s Online Store can also join the popular One to One programme. Additional information about Apple’s retail store is available at www.apple.com/uk/retail/churchillsquare.
007_LS436_Dani
8/6/09
8:43 AM
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DEFINITELY DANI 07
Dani am not religious, I never have been and I can pretty much guarantee that I never will be. When I saw posters on buses by an atheist organisation saying something along the lines of “There is no God, just enjoy life” I thought they were great. Not necessarily because the poster was sending out a message I agreed with but more because it was refreshing to see advertising against religion. But as you can imagine it didn’t go down too well with religious groups who then thought they would join in and send out bendy busses with proGod slogans on them. The only difference being that the religious groups had done so before and that was actually the inspiration for the atheist campaign. This all happened at the beginning of last year and since then I have seen more posters telling you to believe in God than not. After having a look online I became annoyed by one thing
I
Dani wants to know if religion really makes the wheels on the bus go round and round
over all others, and that was the fact that the religious groups claimed that the atheist slogans would be offensive to people and that they shouldn’t be seen for that very reason. The people who said that really didn’t take Thumper’s advice to think before they spoke did they? Do they not think that some people might find their very own advertising campaigns offensive? Standing on a pavement and being passed by a bus that is displaying a poster claiming that if I do not believe in God I will burn in hell for all eternity is a bizarre experience at the best
“I’m being passed by a bus displaying a poster claiming that if I do not believe in God, I will burn in hell”
Wheely crazy What is it that makes seemingly pleasant and polite people turn into maniacs when they sit in front of a steering wheel? Some become rude, some seem unable to travel at regular speeds and others think they are the only person on the planet. This extends beyond the road – people seem to adopt these strange alter egos when in charge of a supermarket trolley. What is it that happens to some of us when we are put in charge of a moving object? Do we ever really graduate from when we would bash our plastic cars into something until the other object moved as opposed to us moving ourselves?
of times, and could be kind of offensive. How could anybody think that having that written somewhere, especially somewhere that children will see, might not upset someone? This all seems to fall back into that age old problem of one rule for one and one rule for another. But that is not all, I am yet to be handed a leaflet informing me about the atheist’s view on the world but there have been a number of times when someone has thought it okay to force little booklets into my hand – in taxis, on buses, through my letterbox or even by having someone knock on the door and try their best to convince me that I am not whole until I have found God – I have even been handed a religious leaflet while in a nightclub (I couldn’t believe that either). The problem here is that I will not be rude, I wouldn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings by telling them where to go but I really am not interested. So I politely take the leaflet/stand and listen and then in the nicest possible way tell them “No thanks”. There are a few religious families living near me and I would never roll up at their front door with leaflets and a speech and try and persuade them to believe anything other than what they want to. If someone wants to believe one thing that is fine as long as they understand that I have the right to believe something different if I want to. Do we really need to be threatening people with eternal damnation?
Comments? Get in touch: dani@thelatest.co.uk
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8/6/09
10:36 AM
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08 ONLY JOKING!
In & Out
Bare cheek
SPECIAL GENERATIONS EDITION
Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
Bare Cheek music festival round up
PACE FESTIVAL Egerton Park, 18–20 August Bill Wyman’s The Rolling Stones, Dave Davies’ The Kinks, Neil Conti’s Prefabb Sproutt, Ringo Starr’s The Baetles (featuring Jeff Lynne, Reeves Gabrels, Mike Rutherford). Comedy Tent: Carol Cleveland’s Flying Circus. WEST SUSSEX JAZZ FESTIVAL Bramber Castle Grounds, 19–20 August. The Ken Ringworm Trio, Big Billy Guffy, Herbie Coleman, The Ronnie Kugelmass Group, Ornette Coltrane, Jean-Luc Stebbins, Lucky Charlie Nimbus, “King“ Stringbean, “Lord“ Bing Faltermeyer, “Archduke“ Boots Jackson, The Blue Hopkins Collective.
Astral Angi
In
THE HAYWARDS HEATH GOSPEL FESTIVAL Beech Hurst. 21–24 August The Blind Boys of Alabama, The Deaf Boys of Georgia, The Tone Deaf Boys of Florida, The Dead Boys of Mississippi (CANCELLED). REDHILL MADE UP FEST Gatton Park. 22–25 August Glib Boys, Calpol, Huh?, Steptoe, Pol Pot, Whuhuhuhuhuhu, Jam Rag Tuesday, Hot Face, Ms. Dog, Dirty Knickers, Republic Of Step Right Up And Kill Me, Gay Robot, Tony Martin’s Gun, Kevin Toms? Kevin Toms, Jacobi, Hawk the Slayer, Pipkins. TRIBUTE BAND FESTIVAL Easthill Park, 25–27 August A Tribe Not Called Quest, Sub UK Subs, The Australian British Sea Power, Faux Fighters, Spuriousity Killed The Cat, Bob Nearly, Trying Adams, Genesisn’t, Artificial Green, Even Camper Van Beethoven.
• Interbellum •Z • Larry Grayson’s The Generation Game • MTV •X
Out • The Silent • The Baby Boomer • Bruce Forsyth and The Generation Game (1990–1994) • Star Trek VII •Y
Music Festivals! There used to be just Glastonbury and Reading, but these days they’re all over the place like swine flu! So if standing in the freezing cold trying to listen to an acoustically wretched performance from your favourite artiste while a hippy who’s had too many space cakes vomits to your left and a teenage couple attempt sexual intercourse to your right is your idea of a good time, here are a few local ones to choose from...
008_LS436_cheeky/stars
Spotted with Marlon Brando (as understood by my Mother) Trying to return mumble murmur at Primark mumble no receipt – Danim Nogue Mumble round the back of mumble mumble with a big mumble – Kirstalsop Getting thrown mumble mumble du Vin mumble and disorderly mumble – Alnyentob Mumble mumble mumble mumble like a prick mumble mumble – Jay Smaywith
BARDSLEY’S
Astral ponders sun worshipping
Buy the CD Bardsley’s, country music with c-hip s-hop beats at Bardsley’s and Borders NOW!
ARIES (MAR 21–APR 20)
CANCER (JUNE 22–JULY 22)
LIBRA (SEP 23–OCT 22)
CAPRICORN (DEC 21–JAN 19).
Aries should not worship the sun. Apart from the harmful effect of those naughty rays you do not want to be the black sheep in any shape or form. Get it right and stay white.
Cancerians should avoid the obvious route to a tan too and stay pale and interesting. When it comes to crab though, I do prefer the dark to the white meat.
Librans have a tendency to have freckles and the action of the sun simply joins up the dots. This can be a very entertaining game if you can find a willing Libran and have a brown pen.
Capricorns must cover up and cover up completely. My suggestion is a brown paper bag over the head with a couple of holes for the eyes. No need for the mouth, give that a rest.
TAURUS (APR 21–MAY 21)
LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22)
SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21)
AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 19)
Taureans on the other hand should get out there and soak up some rays. I suggest applying the steak system and go for rare to medium rare. Blue may be a tad too bloody for most.
Leos will pretend to like the sun, often brazening it out in the midday madness. Silly old Leo, cover up and stay cool, which is fairly easy this year given the disappointingly wet weather.
Scorpios like it hot but those soaring temperatures can make them angry. Given our rotten weather though, this will only happen when travelling abroad so all other signs are safe.
Aquarians predisposition to shed their clothes at the first opportunity is worse then ever in the summer months. All other signs should avoid Aquarians or, if in contact, pretend to be blind.
GEMINI (MAY 22–JUNE 21)
VIRGO (AUG 23–SEP 22)
SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 20)
PISCES (FEB 20–MAR 20)
Gemini should opt for the pale and interesting look. Let’s face it, that could be the only way for a Gemini to look interesting – sorry if that seems harsh but there you have it.
Virgos should just stay indoors if they wish to retain that whiter than white look and virginal tone. No one believes that a tanned body can be that pure do they? Stay milky white.
Sagis will enjoy a spot of sun using the excuse that this is a tan and not age spots. Wrinkly dry skin can also be excused in hot weather but remember Sagis, you’re only fooling yourselves.
Pisces loves nothing more than frolicking in the waves but the sea can intensify the suns rays. Far better to get the seaside experience with a battered haddock down at Bardsley’s.
BRIGHTON’S SEXIEST CHIPPY 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
009_LS436_celebcity
8/7/09
12:55 PM
Page 1
AROUND TOWN 09
sponsored by
Celebcity
Spotted!
with Jo Brooks
News men get themselves in a sartorial knot, Will Young hits Pride and Heather turns ice queen
Pop Idol winner Will Young was out and about for Pride last week – my spies tell me he was drinking with friends in the Eagle pub in the North Laine. Will was happy to pose for pictures (see below) and sign autographs for adoring fans in the popular pub. Also out and about was Peter Andre with Harvey and Junior, drinking coffee in Starbucks in Hove. Earlier in the week, Peter was seen with Junior and Princess doing a spot of PYO at a fruit farm in Worthing – God, he gets about!
Tie-break for newsreaders Photos: Cass Cassidy
When Channel 4 newsreader Krishnan Guru-Murthy designed some ties for Brighton’s fave celeb tailor Gresham Blake, he didn’t expect to see rival news man David Dimbleby sporting one on the Beeb. “David Dimbleby is wearing my butterfly tie,” he Twittered. “We overlap quite often but those are mine!” David responded by stopping off in Bond Street to pick up eight new Gresham ties. While in store, he chatted to staff about the letters he received when wearing another one of Gresham’s ties, which was covered in spiders. Most were from arachnophobics who couldn’t stand even looking at a print of a spider! David even got to plug the tailor during the final edition of Question Time before the summer break – he took a final question from the audience who duly asked him where he purchased his ties.
Watch out Frank Gehry Hove resident Heather Mills has grand designs for Hove Lagoon. In an in-depth interview with last week’s ES magazine, she talked about Hove Lagoon and said: “I’m going to turn this into an ice rink. It’ll be just like Central Park.”
Chin WAG I joined the BBC Sussex WAG team last Tuesday for a lively hour of chat and opinion. The topics included plastic surgery, longevity in relationships and, my personal favourite, holidays! Stand in presenter Sylvie Blackmore chaired as she sat in for normal presenter Alison Ferns. I will be bringing all the celebrity gossip weekly from the city and its environs every Friday from 21 August on the Danny Pike mid-morning show.
Dine like a king
Photos: David Ellis
I can give you a heads up that the lovely people from the Royal Pavilion will be opening up the dining room of our city’s most famous building on 12 September. I’m told the unique banquet will be sumptuous, and tickets are now on sale priced at £85 each or £700 for a table of ten. For more information you can email visitor.services@brighton-hove.org.uk or call 03000 290902.
Krishnan Guru-Murthy
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com
10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of August 2009 excluding Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers
010_LS436_newsphil/Council
8/5/09
5:04 PM
Page 2
10 LATEST NEWS
L7NEWS
News
Now where did I put my keys?
Phil Mills reports on some fishy goings on and our strange local propensity for memory lapses
Rogue fishing dumped fishing net stretching 200 metres and snaring scores of fish and crabs was recovered half a mile out to sea off Peacehaven, Brighton. Some of the fish were dead and fishery officers have condemned those responsible as thoughtless. Fishery officers working for the Sussex Sea Fisheries Committee received a report from a local fisherman that an unknown rogue operator had dumped the gear. They removed the fish and crabs and brought the net ashore where it was destroyed by the Environment Agency. Robert Clark, Senior Fishery Officer with the Sea Fisheries Committee, said: “Professional fishermen working off Sussex are very disappointed that rogue individuals can damage the image of their industry with such irresponsible acts. “Fishery officers are not here to clean up after these individuals but we will take all steps necessary to ensure that
A
Residents of Brighton and Hove are among the most absent-minded in Britain, regularly losing keys and forgetting where they’ve parked their cars. That’s the finding of a survey carried out by the National Lottery which showed that almost a quarter of those city residents polled regularly leave electrical appliances on by mistake. Ten per cent of those polled said they forget to pay their credit card bills on time and to take the cars for MOTs – and, say the researchers, buy lotto tickets. A worrying 2.4 per cent of those polled admitted to regularly forgetting to pick their children up from school and five per cent of Brighton parents said they frequently forget their children’s non-uniform day. Memory expert Dominic O’Brien said: “This shows the extent to which even in a supposedly laid-back city like Brighton, the pressures of a hectic lifestyle are taking their toll.”
this type of activity does not pose a threat to local wildlife and fisheries. We are pleased to be able to work with local fishermen in trying to stamp out this behaviour and welcome the work of the ‘responsible fishing scheme’ to promote and reward best practice”. Clark said the seas off Sussex support an important inshore fishery, parts of which have been awarded international accreditation in recognition of their sustainability. “Furthermore, much of the fishing fleet is certified under a ‘responsible fishing scheme’ which recognises responsible fishing practices. Fisheries leaders and responsible fishers condemn the actions of individuals who threaten the good reputation of Sussex inshore fleet.” The Sea Fisheries Committee, comprising ten county councilors plus appointees, employ a team of officers who patrol by land and sea, day and night, to ensure that fisheries regulations are enforced.
Future plans Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on street parties and a new Chief Exec The school summer holidays are now in full swing, although you wouldn’t know it from the weather we have been experiencing! Let’s hope August brings us something more seasonal, because there are some fantastic outdoor events taking place across the city. Brighton and Hove is a great city for street parties and celebrations. Some of these events can just be happened upon, whilst others are gaining wonderful reputations as official ‘microfestivals’. Last month saw the
annual Poets’ Corner Summer Festival and next week sees the start of the Brunswick Festival, which has now been running for an amazing 28 years!
“The Brunswick Festival has now been running for an amazing 28 years” You can get more information from our events diary – www.brightonhove.gov.uk/events – and, if the weather isn’t so good,
there is also plenty to do indoors at our museums – www.virtualmuseum.info. Finally, I am delighted to say that the Council has
chosen a new Chief Executive (subject to Full Council ratification this week). He is John Barradell, who has been Deputy Chief Executive of Westminster City Council since 2006. This was a unanimous decision of the cross-party appointing panel and I am very much looking forward to working with him.
011_LS436_White_Air
8/6/09
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WHITE AIR FESTIVAL 11
White knuckle ride Get ready for an adrenaline rush this September as the White Air festival hits Brighton hite Air Festival organisers can now reveal that this year’s headliners will be indie heavyweights Doves, NME darlings The Cribs and the mighty Biffy Clyro. In addition to this, the South Coast will see White Lies, British Sea Power, Natty, The Boxer Rebellion and many more take to the stage at the last festival of the summer. From Friday 18 to Sunday 20 September the infamous stretch of beach at Brighton will be the setting for one jaw-droppingly good display of the best sport and music talent around. This scorching line-up, infused with some of the world’s most exhilarating sports all in one location, is sure to finish the summer with a bang!
W
DOVES, THE CRIBS AND BIFFY CLYRO TO HEADLINE WHITE AIR 09
40 exhilarating sports, 3 days, 1 idyllic location on Brighton Beach September 18th, 19th, 20th 2009 Madeira Drive, Brighton
www.whiteair.co.uk
Critically acclaimed indie rock band Doves will be blasting out hits like ‘Pounding’ and ‘Black And White Town’ to 20,000 sport enthusiasts and musos alike. Also playing on Saturday, cult indie-rockers The Cribs, featuring relatively new addition Johnny Marr, will be playing material from their fourth studio album Ignore The Ignorant. Brighton Beach is also set to hear chants of “Mon the Biff!” as Scottish Rock Gods Biffy Clyro rock the beach and blast out anthems like ‘Mountains’ and ‘57.’ Who knows, Simon Neil and co may just become lightheaded from all the fresh sea air and do an acoustic set as Marmaduke Duke strumming hits such as ‘Rubber Lover‘ as the sun sets over the horizon. This year’s number-one selling success story, post-punk quartet White Lies, and hometown legends British Sea Power, alongside other established acts and some of the hottest new bands, will light up the seafront in what promises to be a unique experience. There is something for everyone! Alongside two nights of music is three days of fantastic extreme sports such as world high diving displays from a 30m tower into a 3m pool, kitesurfing, windsurfing, Thundercat racing, jet skis, mixed martial arts, scuba diving and lots, lots more.
At White Air’s core is a huge Urban Freesports Park with the biggest and best ramps to be seen anywhere – more than ten sports, including skate, BMX, inline, parkour, mountain bike, mountain board, streetboard, streetdance and grafitti jams will provide guaranteed adrenaline rushes for all. “The festival is now in its twelfth year and has gone from strength to strength,“ said
Nigel Howell, White Air co-founder. “Although the Isle of Wight was a superb setting for the festival in its early years, Brighton Beach compliments the ethos of the festival perfectly and we’re confident that with this setting, our top rate line-up, and over 40 extreme sports, we are set to put on one hell of a festival.” Helmets at the ready as festival goers are sure to be in for one hell of a ride… White Air Festival, Friday 18 to Sunday 20 September, Madeira Drive, Brighton. Weekend and day tickets are available online from White Air: www.whiteair.co.uk, Ticketmaster: www.ticketmaster.co.uk and at various outlets in Brighton including the Brighton Visitor Information Centre.
000_LS436_LMB.qxd
8/7/09
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latest
01273 687171
musicbar
open until 2.30am every night!
The city’s magical live music and party venue tues 11 august
rachel’s last dance independent folk-rock group situated in sunny ol’ brighton + dr razzu a grungy alternative love/punk band! + utopia 7 with their blend of alternative, garage rock! 8pm £4
wed 12 august
secretly canadians - normanoak
thurs 13 august
scenic routes
secretly canadianís normanoak is the indie-folk meditations of chris barth + the bibles of twang. their lo-fi sound is a melodic mix of indie, folk and americana. + the nelsons. the nelsons are an up and coming four-piece indie band from eastbourne. 8pm £4/£3 concessions.
juggling with musical styles such as folk, jazz, blues and country, has led them on a journey of ethnic, traditional and cultural learning, giving them a secure base for their contemporary compositions.+ support 8pm £4/3
fri 14 august
private party To book your private party, weddings or anniversary contact Angi or Kate on 01273 687171 or email at bookings@thelatest.co.uk
sat 8 august
brighton bash charity fundraising all dayer for cancer research
sun 16 august
roast ‘n’ jazz
afternoon upstairs: from 1pm! jason longhair + anthems + bruce cunnington+ djs. evening downstairs: from 6pm! shush +trashtown thrillers + killer carrado + medicine bow+ ultraxine + special guest and djs £4/3
upstairs: the impellers after party! they are launching their album at audio and holding a free after party! with djs! free! 10pm onwards
with delicious roast dinners & tunes from the jazz, soul, blues greats. roasts served from 12.30pm until 3.30pm. £6.50.
mon 17 august
breakthrough with
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01273 687171 or just come! *
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rough trade musiccafe
the best breaking acts around plus djs.
open
7.30pm til 12.00am. £5/£4 nus.
for breakfast, lunch & dinner
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar 14 – 17 manchester street, brighton go to our website bn2 1tf. 100 metres up from the pier for tickets & listings
013_LS436_food
8/7/09
12:36 PM
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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 13
Food & drink Andrew Kay gets very messy at Fishy Fishy andrew@thelatest.co.uk
Take the bait I
n a time when celebrity chefs are suffering and the economy is steeped in gloom and doom one has to wonder why anyone, let alone Dermot O‘Leary would open a new restaurant. Mr O’Leary is a real charmer and with his two partners, business that is and not swinging, he has been planning Fishy Fishy for some time. And it shows. The restaurant is very nice to look at indeed – soft, comfortable and intimate, pleasingly old fashioned I would say. And it comes as no surprise that the menu is mainly fish and that they are supporting local fish too. The menu is pleasingly concise and surprisingly not expensive. Okay, if you go mad with lobsters and stuff you can spend a lot but on the whole it is sensibly priced. Mr R sadly had a filthy cold so was feeling rotten and had depleted taste buds. Despite this he thoroughly enjoyed his stir fried squid with chilli and ginger and the bit I stole was tasty and tender too. I started with a fillet of brill which was very nice indeed, generous but not too big and served with a good citrus based salsa that did not drown the delicate fish. Oh and I had a glass of Ridgeview too, very nice. Mr R continued with the fish pie which came with crunchy green beans and excellent chips. Sadly his taste buds were not up to the match but I had a good go at it and loved the balance of flavours. I would however prefer to have seen the flaky crust cooked on top of the fish and not separately. That said, Mr R loved that pastry. I was drawn off piste by the promise of spiced crab. I love crab more than any of the other crustacea so the idea of a whole one all to myself had me slobbering. And I was not disappointed. It was a big beast, cock crab I think with plenty of scrummy brown meat and lots of nice sweet white too. The spicing had been handled with care too, a bit of a bit but not so much that it rendered the crab redundant. Of course picking over a crab is a slow and messy business, not for the dainty of mouth or the faint of heart. I simply dived in and ended up happily covered in lovely crabby gunge. Mr R was by this time flagging and his cold getting worse by the minute so watching me at my most carnal was perhaps not the best of experiences. Patiently he waited for me to declare that every last leg and claw had been cracked, picked and sucked
“Patiently he waited for me to declare that every last leg and claw had been cracked, picked and sucked clean”
clean. That done and two – yes two – finger bowls later, I was about clean enough to look at a menu again. Not because I was hungry – I was simply doing my job, you understand. The dessert list is short but reads well. Mr R had a crème brûlée served with shortbread, a nice idea but the shortbreads were a little hard, tasty but tough on the teeth. I chose a tart au citron. I will be honest that although nice, good even, it was clearly not up to the standard of the rest of my meal which genuinely felt that it had been freshly prepared on the premises. The tarte had an air of what my mother would describe as ‘shop bought’ about it. It wasn‘t a bad tart but just not as good as the brill or the crab which were both brill, if you follow. I really enjoyed Fishy Fishy. Mr O’Leary and his team have a good concept that right now is being pretty well executed. The building has been beautifully renovated too, a sympathetic restoration of a historic monument. Frankly, if I could get away from this desk right now I would be there tucking into another crab and getting filthy all over again. Maybe it is something to do in private but I don’t care. Fishy Fishy Seafood Brasserie, 36 East Street, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 1HL, 01273 723750
014_015_LS436_Hotlist/VBites
8/6/09
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14 HOT LIST
latest hot
LIST RESTAURANTS & BARS
Restaurants American JB’s Diner JB’s Diner is a quirky and cool nod to the classic American Diner, from the ‘50s rock’n’roll and the retro dining booths to the stars ‘n’ stripes flying proud as you eat your way through their delicious USA themed menu. The burgers are generous, fresh, tasty and available in many different varieties, the Texan BBQ and ‘Across The Border’ Mexican being firm favourites. Other top sellers include the foot-long hotdogs and rack of ribs. Add a thick dairy ice-cream shake in many flavours (including Oreo!) and we have an American diner perfect for kids and adults alike, looking out onto the very British Brighton beach. 31 Kings Road, Brighton BN1 1NR, 01273 771776, www.jbsdiner.co.uk
British and modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit, they do the best chips ever tasted and appear to have already acquired
several celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk
Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton BN1 4JN, 01273 681256
Barney’s Sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058 Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!
Chimney House With a stylish, cosy interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu includes locallycaught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a light lunch and glass of wine or a hearty threecourse dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708 www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
The Dorset A firm favourite of the North Laine, Chimney House
The Dorset is the best peoplewatching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of home-cooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Marys are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423
Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95 and wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059
croque monsieur and coffee during the day, or treat yourself to a cocktail – they have over 30 on the menu. Parties of all sizes can be catered for. 64 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NA, 01273 721488
Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie just down from Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. There’re also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412
New Steine Bistro
A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix in this family-friendly pub. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk
This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £10.50 for two courses, £12.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £14.50 for two courses, £16.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 & 11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546 / 695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/ restaurant.asp
the restaurant at drakes
L’Église
Nestled inside Brighton’s finest designer hotel, the restaurant at drakes is the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Recently awarded two coveted AA Rosettes through the skills and talents of head chef Andrew MacKenzie, the restaurant offers exquisite cuisine with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Two course menu for £28 or thee courses for £36. Five course chef’s menu £50. Private dining room available for parties of up to 12 people. the restaurant at drakes, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com
Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the twocourse lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868 www.legliserestaurant.co.uk
Preston Park Tavern
Chinese Gars Restaurant This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk
French The Arrogant Frog Brasserie Now relocated in the heart of Brighton, on the seafront. The new menu offers brunch, lunch, tea and dinner from 11am to 11pm, seven days a week. They’ve gone more mainstream but some old favourites remain, along with the French specials. Pop in for a
Indian Chaula’s Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat, and a ‘light bites’ menu. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The Lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national award-winning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824 www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest hot list call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105
014_015_LS436_Hotlist/VBites
8/6/09
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HEATHER MILLS | HOT LIST 15
VBites
of wisdom ’ve really taken recycling to heart. I have so many different recycling bins in my kitchen it can be a little confusing to the first timer. A puzzled expression is followed by the rapid opening and closing of bins, paper rustling, clinking bottles and tins, that ends up sounding like a rhythmically challenged audition for the stage show Stomp! The little bit of extra effort this takes every day reminds us of the need to take care of things we have so long taken for granted, blissfully unaware of the consequences of our over consumption. At school we were taught about balance and cause and effect
I
Italian Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Fat Leo The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature setprice boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk
Heather Mills pushes for greater biodiversity in the UK, before it’s too late “Our population is ready for brave leading from our politicians” in a scientific manner – now we are beginning to understand this in relation to our own lives and the health of our planet, wishing to make positive changes as the negative effects of over consumption become more and more obvious. Our population is ready for brave leading from our politicians, to make the changes necessary to save our planet. Yet often all they seem capable of is the same tired old tax raising policies, as if El Nino cares about how much you’re paying for your car tax, or if the UK has offset its carbon emissions with less developed nations. It is essential for this planet’s survival for a political commitment to ecosystems and wildlife. Global warming and loss of biodiversity has been caused by the overexploitation of our natural resources. What better way of showing a commitment
Twitter and Facebook. Moshi Moshi, Opticon, The Lanes, Bartholomew Square, Brighton BN1 1JS, 01273 719195
Thai Sabai Filled with stylish Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui and the restaurants of Bangkok. Browse the extensive menu of unique dishes and sample a cocktail or a bottle of wine from the comprehensive list. Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners. “Sanuk!” 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com
Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee
Japanese Moshi Moshi Described by The Times as having a “fanatical following,” Moshi Moshi has become one of the leading restaurants on the South Coast, popular for its fresh, handmade sushi. Become a Moshi member online at www.moshimoshi.co.uk and get special discounts. Follow them on
Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, high-quality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
to reversing this trend by diverting huge resources earmarked for weapons of mass destruction on projects of nurturing love for our environment? It might not bring massive short-term gain to a few shareholders, which so often seems to guide policy decisions, but there is a vastly more important long-term benefit of keeping this planet habitable for thousands more years. Let’s save the planet rather than invest in the potential to destroy it in the blink of an eye. The Trident missile defense system update will cost approx £75billion and over £100million a year on its upkeep. The UK used to be so densely covered in forest that it is said that a squirrel could travel from Scotland to the South of England by jumping from branch to branch! Global warming and environmental catastrophe is the biggest battle we are facing now. Spending on ensuring greater biodiversity in the UK is vital for our future survival. Surely that’s better than mushroom clouds? Isn’t it? Flower power has never been more relevant!
016_LS436_Stage/film
8/7/09
4:54 PM
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16 STAGE | FILM www.odeon.co.uk
Stage listings
0871 224 4007
Tuesday 11 August to Monday 24 August Chichester Festival Theatre 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Oklahoma The story of an Oklahoma farm girl who is forced to choose between Curly, the happy-go-lucky cowboy she loves, and Judd, the mysterious loner she fears. • 11–29 August, Festival Theatre, 7.30pm please check with venue to confirm, £12–£36 The House Of Special Purpose The story of the deposed Russian Tsar and his family as they are held captive by communist soldiers in post-revolution Russia. • 11–22 August, Minerva Theatre, 7.45pm please check with venue to confirm, £26.50 Grapes Of Wrath An adaptation of John Steinbeck’s epic novel about a family of Oklahomans who lose everything after a drought leads to their eviction and forces them to move west toward California in search of stability and a home. • 11–28 August, Festival Theatre, 7.45pm please check with venue to confirm, £10–£36. ENRON The world premiere of Lucy Prebble’s play about one of corporate history’s most infamous scandals. • 11–29 August, Minerva Theatre, 7.45pm please check with venue to confirm, £26.50
Eastbourne: Congress Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Singin’ In The Rain Tim Flavin stars in this song and dance compilation show. Songs
and routines include ‘Good Morning’, ‘Moses Supposes’ and ‘Singin’ in the Rain’. • 11–15 August, 7.30pm plus Thurs & Sat 2.30pm, £14.50–£28.50
Eastbourne: Devonshire Park Theatre 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Gotta Sing Gotta Dance From Gershwin to Grease and Lloyd-Webber to Wicked, a cast of top West End performers take you on a ride through the world of musical theatre in this staged and choreographed show accompanied by the Gotta Sing Gotta Dance band. • 12 August–5 September, 7.45pm (no performances Sun or Mon) plus Wed & Sat 2.30pm (no Matinees Wed 12 & Sat 15), £13.50–£19.50
Theatre Royal 08700 606650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Annie The classic Broadway musical about an orphaned girl who is adopted into the luxurious home of wealthy businessman Oliver Warbucks. • 17–22 August, 7.45pm plus Thurs & Sat 2.30pm, £13–£27
Tuesday 11 BRUNO (18) 5.00, 7.00 IN THE LOOP (15) 9.15pm BOLT (PG) 10.30am GI JOE (12A) 11.45, 2.45, 5.45, 8.30 G-FORCE 3D (PG) 1.15, 3.45, 6.00, 8.00 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.00, 1.30, 5.00, 8.15 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 10.00am, 11.00am (3D), 12.15, 2.35 LAND OF THE LOST (12A) 10.15, 12.45, 3.15 ORPHAN (15) 5.45, 8.45 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 12.00, 2.45, 5.15, 8.00 THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (15) 12.45, 3.15, 6.15, 9.00 THE UGLY TRUTH (12A) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30, 9.20
Wednesday 12 ALIENS IN THE ATTIC (PG) 12.15, 2.15, 4.15 BRUNO (18) 9.15pm BAND SLAM (PG) 2.30, 4.45, 7.00 GI JOE (12A) 11.45, 2.45, 5.45, 8.30 G-FORCE 3D (PG) 1.15, 3.45, 6.00, 8.00 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.00, 1.30, 5.00, 8.15 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U)
01323 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk We’re Going On A Bear Hunt Children’s Laureate Michael Rosen’s popular story is brought to the stage by director Sally Cookson. You can’t go over it, you can’t go under it, you’ll have to go see it! • 18–19 August, Tues 2pm & 4pm, Wed 11am & 2pm, £10
Thursday 13 ALIENS IN THE ATTIC (PG) 12.15, 2.15, 4.15 BRUNO (18) 9.15pm BAND SLAM (PG) 2.30, 4.45, 7.00 THE READER (15) 10.30am GI JOE (12A) 11.45, 2.45, 5.45, 8.30 G-FORCE 3D (PG) 1.15, 3.45, 6.00, 8.00 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 1.30, 5.00, 8.15 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 10.00, 11.00 (3D), 12.15 LAND OF THE LOST (12A) 10.15, 12.45, 3.15 ORPHAN (15) 5.45, 8.45 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 12.00, 2.45, 5.15, 8.00 THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (15) 6.15, 9.00 THE UGLY TRUTH (12A) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00 9.20
Films showing Fri 14–Mon 17 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM TIMES
www.cineworld.co.uk
0871 200 2000 Tuesday 11 BRUNO (18) 9.40 COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 12.50, 3.20, 6.00, 8.40 G-FORCE (PG) 10.30, 12.40, 2.50, 5.00, 7.10 GI JOE: RISE OF THE COBRA (12A) 10.20, 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.40, 2.00, 5.15, 8.30 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 11.20 (2D), 10.50, 1.10, 3.30 (3D) ORPHAN (15) 6.10, 9.10 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 1.30, 4.20, 6.50, 9.20 TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (15) 1.40, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30 THE UGLY TRUTH (15) 11.30, 1.50, 4.10, 6.30, 8.50
Wednesday 12 Worthing: Pavilion Theatre
10.00am, 11.00 (3D), 12.15 LAND OF THE LOST (12A) 10.15, 12.45, 3.15 ORPHAN (15) 5.45, 8.45 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 12.00, 2.45, 5.15, 8.00 THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (15) 6.15, 9.00 THE UGLY TRUTH (12A) 11.30, 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.20
ALIENS IN THE ATTIC (PG) 11.50, 1.55, 4.00 BRUNO (18) 9.40 BANDSLAM (PG) 11.10, 1.40, 4.30 COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 6.00, 8.40 G-FORCE (PG) 10.30, 12.40, 2.50, 5.00, 7.10 GI JOE: RISE OF THE COBRA (12A) 10.20, 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.40, 2.00, 5.15, 8.30 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 11.20 (2D), 10.50, 1.10, 3.30 (3D) ORPHAN (15) 6.10, 9.10 THE PROPOSAL (12A)
1.30, 4.20, 6.50, 9.20 TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (15) 7.00, 9.30 THE UGLY TRUTH (15) 11.30, 1.50, 4.10, 6.30, 8.50
Thursday 13 ALIENS IN THE ATTIC (PG) 11.50, 1.55, 4.00 BRUNO (18) 9.40 BANDSLAM (PG) 11.10, 1.40, 4.30 COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 6.00, 8.40 G-FORCE (PG) 10.30, 12.40, 2.50, 5.00, 7.10 GI JOE: RISE OF THE COBRA (12A) 10.20, 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 10.40, 2.00, 5.15, 8.30 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 11.20 (2D), 10.50, 1.10, 3.30 (3D) ORPHAN (15) 6.10, 9.10 THE PROPOSAL (12A) 1.30, 4.20, 6.50, 9.20 TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (15) 7.00, 9.30 THE UGLY TRUTH (15) 11.30, 1.50, 4.10, 6.30, 8.50
Films showing Friday 14–Monday 17 CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM TIMES
www.picturehouses.co.uk
We’re Going On A Bear Hunt
01273 626261 Tuesday 11
SIN NOMBRE (18) 3.30, 8.30
COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 4.00 IS ANYBODY THERE? (12A) 11.00am MESRINE: KILLER INSTINCT (15) 1.30, 6.00 THE YES MEN FIX THE WORLD + Q & A (12A) 8.30
Saturday 15
Wednesday 12 COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 1.30, 6.30 IS ANYBODY THERE? (12A) 11.00am MESRINE: KILLER INSTINCT (15) 4.00, 9.00
Thursday 13 COCO BEFORE CHANEL (12A) 1.30, 6.30 MESRINE: KILLER INSTINCT (15) 4.00, 9.00 NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2 (PG) 11.00am
Friday 14
AM I BLACK ENOUGH FOR YOU? (12A) 1.30 BEFORE STONEWALL (15) 11.30pm CATS & DOGS (PG) 11.00am INGLORIOUS BASTERDS (18) 6.30 SIN NOMBRE (18) 4.00, 9.30
Sunday 16 ACCIDENT (PG) 11.00am INGLORIOUS BASTERDS (18) 1.30 NIGHTHAWKS (15) 6.30 SIN NOMBRE (18) 4.00, 9.30
Monday 17 DOLLS (15) 6.30 ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 11.00am SIN NOMBRE (18) 4.00, 9.00
AM I BLACK ENOUGH FOR YOU? (12A) 11.00pm ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 11.00am
www.worthingtheatres.co.uk
Photo: Bob Workman
01903 206206 Tues 11–Thurs 13
Fri 14– Mon 17
HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (12A) 12.45 (Tues only), 1.30 (Wed & Thurs only), 4.00 (Tues only) ICE AGE 3: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (U) 2.15 THE PRIVATE LIVES OF PIPPA LEE (15) 5.00 (not Tues), 7.30
ALIENS IN THE ATTIC (PG) 12.30, 2.45, 5.00 (Fri only), 7.15 (Mon only)
Tues 11– Mon 17 THE UGLY TRUTH (15) 5.30, 8.00 (Tues–Thurs) & 3.45, 6.00, 8.30 (Fri–Mon)
Sat 15 ALIENS IN THE ATTIC (PG) 11.55am
CHECK WITH CINEMA TO CONFIRM TIMES
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ART | SPORT 17
Latest sport No complaints from Sussex supporters Andy Winter gives the low-down on recent rollercoaster cricket matches fter all the hype, the Lord’s Friends Provident Trophy final was a great disappointment. The day started well with Sussex winning the toss. But apart from that, the Sharks were outplayed in every facet of the game. With hindsight, Sussex should not have batted first as the ball was moving sideways during the morning resulting in the rapid loss of wickets. Following early setbacks, the Sussex supporters’ mood was understandably flat. There was limited singing and even that was halfhearted. The chants of “Yardy Army”, in honour of the Sussex captain, Mike Yardy, and modelled on England’s “Barmy Army”, never took off. The most animated the Sussex supporters became was in response to two pantomime villains. One was the hapless steward who tried to confiscate the few Sharky masks that had been smuggled into the ground (the rest of us had our masks confiscated at the gate). The other was Hampshire’s Dominic Cork whose ‘in your face’ aggression and mock taunting of the Sussex crowd summed up the difference between the teams. What a difference a day (or two) makes. After the damp squib at Lord’s, the Twenty20 quarter-final at Hove on the following Monday could not have been a greater contrast. There was a great atmosphere and every Sussex player made a contribution in a comprehensive win over Warwickshire. Sharky even won the mascots race That victory takes Sussex to the Twenty20 finals day at Edgbaston this coming Saturday. Surely Sussex cannot repeat the miserable performance at Lord’s and, for those supporters who are making the trip to Birmingham, this should be a great day out. Unfortunately, the financial cost of being a Sussex supporter this season has been great, having reached both the Trophy final and the Twenty20 finals day. But you won’t find many Sussex supporters complaining. This is another great season to support Sussex!
A Sense of self Acclaimed self-portraitist exhibits herself in current show Neurotica ‘Neurotica’ is a collection of Miss Aniela’s images from the most erotic to the most ‘neurotic’, focusing on the use of light and the female form. Her work is charged with mystery, eroticism, and fun; fusing fantasy with reality, and femininity with a willful independence. She embraces the liberating idea of ultimate control and self-representation. A self-obsessed self-portraitist, Miss Aniela (Natalie Dybisz) poses for, photographs and processes her own work, frequently cloning herself several times in a single image. She demonstrates to us the vast and endless possibilities of playing a character, or several characters, and being your own muse. Miss Aniela, Impure Gallery, 13 Ship Street Gardens until 30 August
Art listings Ditchling Museum Church Lane, Ditchling 01273 844744 Drawn from Ditchling: Portraits from a Sussex Village Portraits from the museum’s collection – paintings and drawings, caricatures and photographs, word and film – celebrate the artists who have lived in Ditchling as well as local people who have drawn, painted and photographed in this village. • Until December 2009, Tues–Sat 10.30am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm
Hove Museum & Art Gallery New Church Road, Hove Deviants Exhibition of 16 pieces from the Crafts Council’s Collection that deviate wildly from what we think of as traditional craft. • Until 13 September
Brighton Museum & Art Gallery Royal Pavilion Gardens 01273 290900 The American Scene: Prints From Hopper to Pollock 56 modern American artists are featured in this popular exhibition documenting America from the turn of the century to the 1950s. • Until 31 Aug, Tues 10am–7pm, Wed–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 2–5pm
Latest Music Bar 14–17 Manchester Street Brighton 01273 687171 Diana Frangi Photographic exhibition documenting the Argentinianborn photographer’s love of all things music; from locals The Levellers to Fatboy Slim, The Perils to Herbie Flowers. • Mon–Sun 9am–late
Phoenix Arts Gallery 10–14 Waterloo Place Brighton 01273 603700 Fabric of War Fabric of War records personal and collective histories of conflict, translated into paper from uniforms and monuments. The cathartic artworks of Combat Paper Project are executed by veterans using paper made from uniforms imbued with private memories, while Marshall Weber’s rubbings trace the narrative of war imprinted in its monuments. • Until 16 August, Wed–Sun 11am–5pm
De La Warr Pavilion Bexhill-on-Sea 01424 229111 Beuys Is Here: Sculpture Object Action Revolution Exhibition of sculpture by Joseph Beuys. • Until 27 September, Mon–Fri 10am–5pm
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18 MUSIC NEWS
latest music
with Jeff Hemmings
★ artists ★ interviews ★ gigs ★ new releases ★ clubs ★ djs ★ chart ★
Let’s dance The Beachdown Festival prepare for the arrival of Grace Jones’ rider fter the bumpy ride last year, Beachdown is once again set to take place again on the Dyke – a grand location for what is looking to be a fine addition to the festival calender. “Last year was a steep learning curve,” says director Darren Murphy. We’re tightening up production and there will be little chance of any gatehopping this year. The layout of the site has also Grace Jones changed significantly – it will be more contained.” Like last year, there is a very eclectic line up, aimed at a more discerning crowd and including Grace Jones, Super Furry Animals, The Zutons, Grandmaster Flash, The Rakes, Prince Buster and St. Etienne. There’re also top quality acts from the worlds of hip hop, dance, reggae, jazz and latin including Snowboy And The Latin Section, Nostalgia 77 Octet, Terry Callier, Joey Negro And The Sunburst Band, The Apples, Mulatu Astatke and The Heliocentrics. Beachdown is also host to many of Brighton’s best bands who will be performing on the C2 Brighton Stage and in the Access To Music/Radio Reverb tent. Rebel Control, Gloria Cycles, Drookit Dogs, The Perils, The Third Man, Sweet Sweet Lies, Los Albertos, Floors & Walls and many more will be there along with a huge number of club nights mostly drawn from the Brighton area, and covering pretty much every musical base you can think of. A new additon to the festival will be the four-day Favela Chic residency in its own purpose-built area complete with a full latin artist and DJ line-up, covering everything from rock ’n’ roll to drum ’n’ bass to baille funk. Grace Jones has become a huge talking point and there are plenty of rumours circulating that the lady is one very high maintenance diva. “Yeah, we’ve heard those too,” laughs Darren. “Apparently, if she’s got what she wants she’s a very happy bunny; but we’re waiting for her rider, which could be interesting…“ Beachdown Festival, 28–31 August, www.beachdownfestival.com
A
news
The Drookit Dogs
Heaven sent The Out Of The Ordinary Festival has moved up a gear with a particularly strong line-up for 2009. This green and familyfriendly event is staged around a modern stone circle that is being built and aligned to the heavens as a working observatory. On top of that there is a great music lineup on the solar powered stages, a green ethical market, healing fields, cabaret, circus, comedy, performance, and alternative talks and workshops. Headliners include Eat Static, Banco de Gaia and The Drookit Dogs. 18–20 September, Knockhatch Adventure Park, Sussex. www.outoftheordinaryfestival.com
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
Brighton Latest Download Chart Top 10 ★ 1 Panos Christofi – I’ll Never Know ★ 2 N-D-E – Bad Habit 3 White Star Liners – Tyre Pressure Was The Least Of His Worries 4 Chaos Borne – Watching 5 Jaybee – Brokeback Mountain 6 Pam Weekes – The Rhythm 7 rubber-johnny – Alzheimers 8 Portslade – Waking Up 9 Crosis+BOC – Texnology 10 The Woo!worths – Idle Hands There are a few decent new arrivals in the top five this week as classy pop singersongwriter Panos Christofi’s catchy, polished, melancholy love song ‘I’ll Never Know’ takes the top spot. N-D-E make a return to the top five at two with their moody D’n’B blast ‘Bad Habit,‘ while White Star Liners’ eccentric pop balladry is instantly affecting. Mainstays Chaos Borne and, of course, Jaybee, complete the top five. 11 Chaos Borne The Moment 12 Resurrection Surround Me 13 Chaos Borne I Will 14 The Fooley Mantras Best In People 15 N-D-E Incredible Machine 16 Breach Of Contact Patick Smart 17 CoppaTop Cordial Sunshine 18 Fireworks For Summer Building Fires In A Circle Around Her 19 The Last Cry Rebekka 20 Jaybee Oskar And Eli
21 The Mojo Fins In The Script 22 Damn Dirty Humans Freak Rocket 23 Panos Christofi My Imagination 24 900 Spaces Shake It Up 25 EVOH I Love Brighton 26 The Morning Orchestra Petal On Your Shoe 27 The Bardo Modern Monkey 28 Earth Below Different View 29 Crawlspace Shivers 30 nig2dmic We Made This: Me Rapping With Eminem
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01273 818150 ext 105
019_LS436 musiclist/clublist
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MUSIC | CLUBS 19
Music listings
Bar & Club listings
Tuesday 11 to Monday 17 August
Tuesday 11 to Monday 17 August
Tuesday 11
Saturday 15
Tuesday 11
Open Mic with Lucy Checkley Open mic with live performance from singer-songwriter Lucy Checkley. The Fountain Head, 8pm, free Our Fathers + Elmo Calkins + Glen Belt Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc Rachel’s Last Dance + Dr Razzu + Utopia 7 Brighton folk rockers with support from the punkish Dr Razzu and garage rockers Utopia 7. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £4
Billy Childish The veteran punk/artist returns to the live circuit. Engine Rooms, 7pm, £tbc Brighton Bash: Jason Longhair + Anthems + Bruce Cunnington + Shush + Trashtown Thrillers + Killer Carrado + Medicine Bow + Ultraxine Charity all-dayer in aid of Cancer Research. Latest Music Bar, 1pm, £4/3 Modrophenia ‘79 with The Lambrettas + Mark Joseph + Timebomb & The Hiwatts Celebration of thirty years of mod revival with 2 tone DJs and a preceding Quadrophenia-themed scooter ride from Beachy Head to Brighton. Concorde 2, 4pm- 10pm, £15 Sound Factory: Dead By 7 + Lostaura + Blesblock Local bands line up, including the Muse-influenced rockers Lostaura. The Providence, 8pm, £1 The Hat’s Final Farewell The popular Brightonian rap-gypsy-storytelling hybrid play their final show. Komedia, 8pm, £10-22 (22 including meal)
Audio Bright Young Things. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS. Brighton Coalition Latin Fever. Fine salsa and Latin rhythms. 10pm–2am, free Digital Glitterati. 11pm–3am, £5/3 NUS Funky Buddha Lounge Funky Disco. Classic tunes and disco beats. 11pm–5am, £3/free New Hero This Exists. Fresh music for cool kids! 10pm, £2 Pavilion Tavern Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal.10.30pm–3am, £3/1
Wednesday 12 Brecht Weill Songs from Bertolt Brecht and Kurt Weill. Dramatic narratives in the style of the early Berlin Cabaret. Komedia, 8pm, £8 Dean Guitars and Drum Showcase with Michael Angelo Batio and Carmine Appice Showcase for the talents of the Steve Vaiinfluencing fretwork of Batio and acclaimed drumming of Appice. Komedia, 7.30pm, £5 It Prevails Melodic hardcore from Portland, Oregon. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £6 Normanoak + The Bibles of Twang + The Nelsons Indiana folkmeisters signed to not actually Canadian label Secretly Canadian. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £4/3 Open Mac Night Open mic night for electronic music, so bring your laptops and samplers. Sidewinder, 8pm, free Thee Big Black We can only hope this is medieval-style covers of Steve Albini’s cult band. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc
Thursday 13 Electric Jam Session A regular house band welcomes members of the audience to join in. Portland Rock Bar, 8.30pm, free Molly’s Game + The Lieutenant’s Mistress + School For Scoundrels Featuring Brightonian guitar rockers The Lieutenant’s Mistress. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc Scenic Routes Quality addition to the fast growing Brighton scene blending jazz, blues, folk and country. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £4/3 Sound Factory: Tabitha Smith + Loki + Ian Mark Burizo Featuring Loki’s odd combination of screamo and blues. The Providence, 8pm, £1
Sunday 16 Brighton Vineyard: The Evening Service Band God-themed social with live music from gospel group The Evening Service Band. Latest Music Bar, 7pm, free Roast ‘n’ Jazz Sunday roast and live jazz to keep you going. Latest Music Bar, 12.30pm, £6.50 Soname Spiritual vocalist fusing traditional Tibetan sounds with more modern influences. Komedia, 8pm, £10-20 Sonic Boom Six Female-fronted cult ska-core heroes mixing in every genre they can think of. Digital, 7.30pm, £tbc World/Inferno Friendship Society Bit of a supergroup here, as members of Dresden Dolls and The Hold Steady unite for a Vaudevillian side-project. Engine Rooms, 7pm, £8-9
Monday 17 Breakthrough with Rough Trade Live band showcase with unsigned acts from Brighton and Hove. Latest Music Bar, 7.30pm, £5/4 Nick Aldwinckle
Friday 14 Phil Lee + Tom Mason + Carrie Elkin and Robby Hecht Nashville singer-songwriter blending country, blues, folk, rock and rockabilly. The Open House, 8pm, £10 WanderDown + The Snarks + Almost Orphans Grunge-tinged indie from the headliners. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc The Mojo Fins Elliott Smith-alikes. Komedia, 8pm, £tbc Papa George Acclaimed bluesman playing slide guitar. The Neptune, 8pm, £tbc Sound Factory: Vier + Mondo Kong + Messed Up Joey Local unsigned bands line up. The Providence, 8pm, £1
Sonic Boom Six
Wednesday 12 Audio Supercharged. Beats, bass and breaks from the globally in-demand Krafty Kuts. 11pm– 2.30am, £5/3 NUS. Brighton Coalition Club NME with live bands and Brighton DJs. 10.30pm–3.30am, free. Digital The Poundance. A mash up of your favourite indie, R’n’B, electro, house, classics, dubstep and chart tracks.11pm–3.30am, £1 Po Na Na Urban Chic. R’n’B, hip-hop, dance hall and funky house. 10pm, £2/free
Thursday 13 Audio Shameless presents Quids In. 11pm, £1 Honey Club Contagious. House and dance anthems. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1 Jam Thursday Night Fish Fry. A sweat box of ‘50s rhythm and blues and original Jamaican ska. 10pm–2am, £3. New Hero Pop Kraft. Primary pop overload with the fabulous Boogaloo Stu and The Size Zero Albino. 10pm–2am, £2. Po Na Na Secret Discotheque. Return to the ‘80s. 10pm–3am, £3/2
Friday 14 Audio Credit To The Edit. 11pm–4am, £tbc. Brighton Coalition Censored. 11pm, £6 b4 midnight. Concorde 2 Super Dub Pressure. Subtle subpressure bass and hard-biting drum sounds. 11pm–4am, £8. Digital Stonelove. 100 per cent maximum indie rock’n’roll with DJ and live bands. 11pm–3am, £4. Engine Rooms Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock alternative for eyeliner-ed up boys and girls in PVC. 11pm–3am, £5/3. Funky Buddha Lounge Release. Funky and soulful house tracks laid out by MJ Cole. 11pm, £3–6 Hanbury Club Free Fridays: Wig & Hat Party. DJ El Zilcho plays funk, soul and left field disco. 7.30pm, free. Honey Club Pukka Up. 11pm–3.30am, £5–7. Life (Previously Arc) Daft Life. Alt.dance, indie-leaning house and firing electro. 10pm–3am, £2–4. New Hero Somewhere In The Universe. Leading alt electro dance party. 10pm, £5.
Ocean Rooms Strobe. Strobe residents spinning an eclectic mash-up of styles plus pound drinks when the strobe strikes. 10.30pm, £2 Volks T.A.A.R.T Brighton Heat 2 – Fundraiser for T.A.A. 11pm–5am, £5/3.
Saturday 15 Audio Summer Of Love. The don of free parties brings club, electro and techno with Pablo Decoder and Vincent Manganaro. 11pm–4am, free. Brighton Coalition Pop Musik. Unadulterated pop pleasures, classic hits and maverick pop genius! 11pm–4am, £10/8. Followed by: Blow After Party. 3am–8am, £7/4. Concorde 2 Modrophenia Official After Party. Brighton’s favourite Northen Soul and Motown DJs spin some retro classics. 10pm, £3. Digital Playroom. 11pm–4am, £15/12. Engine Rooms Classic Rock. 10pm–3am, free b4 10.30/£5 after. Funky Buddha Lounge Buddha Soul. With Juice Fm’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10 Followed by Mike Panteli Vs DJ Outbreak. 3am, £5/3 NUS Hanbury Club Boogaloo’s Pop Kraft. Primary pop overload. 7.30pm–2am, £8/6. Jam EBoogie. E-lectronic Pop. 9pm–2am, free Komedia Spellbound. An ‘80s club night for all the haters of ‘80s nights. Let the campaign for real ‘80s begin! 9pm, £5. La Tropicale Houseworks. Quality house music from across the world. 8pm–4am, £6/free b4 11 Life (Previously Arc) Hold Up. Unpretentious indie night. 11pm–4am, £5 New Hero It is still 1985. Alternative ‘80s night full of adventurous tunes. 10pm, £3 Ocean Rooms Raindance Vs Helter-Skelter. 11pm, £8 Om Bar and Club Floorgasm. Producing the finest dirty, funky house/breaks/electro to provide a top party atmosphere. 10pm, £tbc.
Sunday 16 Life (Previously Arc) Maxxi Soundsystem. Full on party soundsystem. 6pm, free. The Open House We Change The Frequency Global tunes from across the genres. 8pm, free
Monday 10 Brighton Coalition Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free Honey Club Disco Babe.10.30pm–2.30am,£3/1 Jam Sessions. D’n’B, dub step, electro and house. 10pm–2am, £tbc Po Na Na Fat Poppadaddys. 10pm–2.30am, £3/1 Jaime Pettit
020_LS436_gaylistings
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20 LATEST GAY
Gay listings Tuesday 11 to Monday 17 August Tuesday 11 Brighton Tavern Games Galore. 12pm, free Charles Street Bar Two’s Company. Cabaret from Maisie Trollette and Miss Jason. 9pm, free Ghetto Quiz Alicious and Twisted Karaoke. Hosted by Mistress Cat. 8pm, free Legends Relax – It’s Tuesday. Friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Drag King Night. Relax with a handsome king. 8pm, free Queen’s Arms Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free Revenge Sound as a Pound. ‘80s, ‘90s, ‘00s, electro, pop, dance and cheese. 10.30pm, £1 The Basement Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free
Wednesday 12 Amsterdam Student Karaoke. 8pm, free Ghetto Transition. DJ Peter Von Sleaze spins rock, metal and 80s. 10pm, £2.50 Latest Music Bar Gay Tango. 7–8pm absolute beginners, 8–9.30pm improvers, 9.30–11pm practical/social dancing. From 7pm, £10 Legends Gabbi’s Fun and Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm.11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre In-house Darts League. Nightly and annual prizes. 8pm, £3 Queen’s Arms Anything Goes! Karaoke, bingo, a music quiz and more with DJ Kamp Kevin. 12pm–1am, free R-Bar The Midweek Shuffle. Brighton’s hottest new DJ, Zack Hadley rocks R-Bar with cheesy pop, chart, ‘90s dance and club. 12pm. The Basement Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free
Thursday 13 Charles Street Bar & Club Mad Cow XXL – My Cow is on Fire. DJs Li’l Alex and LeeRoy spinning funky house across two floors 8pm–3am, £1 Ghetto Dirty. Miss Masters spins the best dirty electro-house. 10.30pm, free b4 11 Marlborough Bar and Theatre Open Mic Night. Hosted by Lucy Checkley. 9pm, free Queen’s Arms See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-Bar Pre-Girls on Top Party. Verity sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free Revenge Girls on Top. Trashy chart hits and pop remixes.10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30pm with passes, £4/5 after
with DJ. Plus unlimited drinks wristbands for £20! 9pm R-Bar Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free Revenge Lollipop vs Altitude.Top pop tunes. 10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after The Basement Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Girly pop and handbag. 11pm–4am, free The Zone Krissie Du Cann. One of Brighton’s most talented female vocalists. 9.30pm, free
Saturday 15 Amsterdam Sun Downers + Late Night Bar. The best beach house music in town. 8pm–5am, free Charles Street Club Mardi Gras. HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3. Ghetto Wigout. A kitschy, cool night for the seriously unserious. 10pm, free b4 11pm Legends Pre-Ignition. DJs from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Queen Jo at the Marly offers fab funky house. 9pm, free Queen’s Arms Cabaret: Spice + Karaoke. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30pm–5.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin ‘til midnight! Bar open 12pm, free Revenge Kinky Dangerous. Two top DJs, two floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 5.5 hours of frolics.10.30pm–4am, £7/3 The PV at The Jury’s Out Viva Las Divas + Booty Call. Live music from 6pm, then guest DJs spin some body shakin’ summer rollers. 12pm, free The Zone Miss Hap 9.30pm, free
Sunday 16 Amsterdam Sunday Lunch and Connie’s Karaoke. Karaoke from 8pm. 12pm–1am, free Charles Street Bar Showtime. The Queen of the quick wit and the fastest one liner returns, it’s Lola Lasagne. 7.15pm, free Ghetto Sirens. Burlesque night with pole and lap dancing shows. 9pm, free Marlborough Bar & Theatre Sunday Quiz. With Drag King, Jack Roquard. 7pm, £1 entry Queen’s Arms Cabaret: Kitty Litter + Betty’s Karaoke. (5.30pm). 12pm, free R-Bar Sublime Sundays and Barmy Bingo. 12pm–2am, free Revenge Rainbow Beats. Funky house beats with a Spanish twist. 10.30pm–4am, £tbc. The Basement Fever. Disco and pop remixes. 11pm–4am, free
Friday 14 Monday 17 Amsterdam Funky Mondays. 12pm, free Charles Street Club Studio 150. 10pm–2am, £1.50 Legends Dave Lynn and Friends. Hysterical night of cabaret from 9.30pm. 11am–5am, free Marlborough Bar and Theatre Trans Night. Hosted with the Clare Project. 8.30pm, free Queen’s Arms Skint + Karaoke. 12pm–1am The Basement Chic. Decades of disco. 11pm–4am, free
ing diners g r e f
t deals? rea
Are you o f
Charles Street Bar Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies. Bar open 11am, free Charles Street Club Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 Doctor Brightons Flauncy Friday. Filthy funky dance and house. 9.30pm–2am, free Ghetto Popstarz. Indie. 10pm, free b4 11pm Marlborough Bar & Theatre Girl’s Night. Two floors of mayhem with guest DJs.8pm, free Queen’s Arms Camp Attack. Definitive handbag, commercial and camp tunes
Get in touch with Rachel at Latest 7 to find out how.
Call 01273 818150 Ext 105 or e-mail rachelb@thelatest.co.uk
!
W hy w not no let them k
021_LS436_TV_Tues
8/5/09
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tuesday 11 CSI: Miami Five, 9pm Xena Warrior Princess possibly kicks some bottom tonight as Lucy Lawless makes an appearance in CSI: Miami. There’s a bad man out there targeting prostitutes and doing bad things to them. Nasty bloke he is. Then he gets his comeuppance care of a former victim. But how did it go down?
Omagh Channel 4, 10.50pm When Michael Gallagher’s son Aiden died in the Omagh bombings in 1998 little did he know that he would become the spokesman for the Omagh Support and Self Help Group, working on behalf of the bereaved families. This dramatisation focuses on his tale, and asks the sensitive questions.
We Need Answers BBC4, 9pm Fresh from doing all those Magners adverts and touring his show is stand-up Mark Watson, joined by fellow comedic performers Tim Key and Alex Horne to present this comedic quiz, where the questions come from the audience and a text service. Hardly need the celeb contestants with this lot about.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 4.35 Clash 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 ChuckleVision 8.15 Arthur 8.30 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 Krypto The Superdog 9.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 10.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 10.30 Deadly 60 11.00 The Flintstones 11.25 FILM: Angus (1995) 12.45pm Castle In The Country 1.15 Open Gardens 1.45 Animal Park 2.15 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz. 6.30 Knowitalls Gyles Brandreth presents the last of the quarter-finals of the quiz without questions. 7.00 Who Do You Think You Are? In this episode of the celebrity genealogy series, comedian David Mitchell goes in search of his Scottish roots. 8.00 Coast At RAF Valley in Anglesey, Neil Oliver discovers if he has got what it takes to fly fast fighter jets as he takes to the sky with an instructor from the RAF’s world-famous ‘pilot factory’. Wonder if Kelly McGillis will be his teacher. 9.00 Desperate Romantics While Hunt is away in the Holy Land, Fred sets out to fulfil his promise to look after Annie but, before he knows what is happening, she seduces him. Upon his return, Hunt asks Annie to marry him. She’s a minx that one. Poor defenseless and innocent rakish artist. Hmm. 10.00 Wainwright Walks: Coast To Coast Julia Bradbury follows in the footsteps of guidebook writer Alfred Wainwright. The fourth stage of Julia’s journey is entirely devoted to Swaledale in Yorkshire. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed drama. Burrell has the police force ‘juke the stats’ with street sweeps. 12.20am BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm For The Rest Of Your Life 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Golden Balls
6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 The Hoobs 6.50 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.20 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.45 Big Brother 8.55 Friends 9.25 Friends 9.55 Beyonce Vs Rihanna: Top 10 10.55 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place By The Sea 1.25 FILM: Niagara (1952) 3.10 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 3.40 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.10 Deal Or No Deal: Noel’s Hall Of Fame 5.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Tony reaches the end of his tether when Ste is late for work again. Meanwhile, Daniel continues to plot to have Lucas adopted. This has got to have already been covered by the Brothers Grimm. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Property Snakes And Ladders Sarah Beeny catches up with Andy Davenport and Leanne Hewitt as they start their latest development, a bungalow with the potential to build a house alongside it. Rather a big task. Best building materials – Lego or Meccano? Meccano’d be a bit draughty. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. Do you really care? But really? 10.00 You Have Been Watching Comedy panel show looking at the week’s television, hosted by Charlie Brooker. Guests include Frank Skinner and Frankie Boyle. Including the customary sarcasm, wit and cleverness we expect from Mr B. 10.50 Omagh See highlights. 12.55am Betfair World Series Of Poker Europe 1.50 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Gillette World Sport 4.30 The Cooper Tyres British Formula 3 International Series 5.00 The McCain Track And Field Show 5.25 British Triathlon Grand Prix 5.55 The Treacle People
6.00 – 8.45am Children’s television 8.45 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.10 Hana’s Helpline 9.20 Funky Valley 9.25 Olivia 9.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Zoo Days 2.50 Property List: Top Spots 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.10 FILM: Be My Baby (2006) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Netbusters 9.30 The Irish Golfer 10.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 2009 (x2) 7.00 On The Line 7.30 LIVE: Football: Carling Cup 10.00 Football Asia 10.30 On The Line 11.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 1.00am Football: Carling Cup 2.30 On The Line 3.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 5.00 Football Asia 5.30 On The Line
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Ricky and Bianca get competitive at speed dating. That’s what exes living in the same house do. Obviously! 8.00 Holby City Tara is disappointed when Elliot loses confidence in himself on the day of their pioneering operation. And Oliver sets out to charm Chrissie, but learns he needs to be more careful when sending cheeky emails. Ha ha, he he, hoo hoo. 9.00 Crimewatch On The Streets No, they haven’t lost their studio. Really! Documentary going behind the scenes with Strathclyde’s groundbreaking Domestic Abuse Task Force as they hunt for serial offenders on the streets of Glasgow. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Neighbourhood Watched Series showing life in the raw for Britain’s housing officers and tenants. 11.15 FILM: The Big Man (1991) Starring Liam Neeson, Joanne Whalley-Kilmer, Kenny Ireland, Billy Connolly. Gritty drama about a Scottish miner who turns to bareknuckle fighting to earn a living after being made redundant. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Coast 2.15 Jam And Jerusalem 3.15 Country Tracks 4.10 Heir Hunters 4.55 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Jimmy and Nicola agree on a name for their baby. May we suggest Spoils of War? 7.30 Grimefighters Series following the lives of Britain’s clean up teams, including pest controllers, restaurant inspectors and litter pickers. 8.00 Send In The Dogs Series following the work of police dogs and their handlers. Today, Sergeant Midgley tries to qualify as a dog handler after 25 years as a policeman. First off – need a dog. 9.00 Car Crime UK Trevor McDonald follows three police teams across the country as they track down prolific car and motorcycle thieves. There’s a prize and everything. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Police, Camera, Action! A run-down of the most illegal car modifications, including fat exhausts, dodgy lights, tinted windows and unique number plates. What about nicked hood ornaments a la Beastie Boys circa 1986? 11.05 Supernatural US drama. In order to investigate rumours that a ghost is killing off inmates in prison, Sam and Dean allow themselves to get thrown behind bars. Ow. 12.00am Nightwatch With Steve Scott (x3) 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip Wildlife documentary series. Michaela heads to Paradise Wildlife Park in Hertfordshire, where concerns are growing for white lion cubs Themba and Izulu. Maybe they’re getting picked on at school for not being called Jamie and Paul. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.15 Cricket On Five Highlights of the fourth Test between England and Australia at Headingley Carnegie. 8.00 Big, Bigger, Biggest This instalment explores the leaps in aviation technology that led to the development of the world’s largest cargo plane – the Antonov An-124. 9.00 CSI: Miami See highlights. 10.00 CSI: NY Crime drama series. When an estate agent is found murdered in one of his properties, the evidence initially points towards a disgruntled ex-tenant. However, further investigation puts the victim’s wife and daughter in the frame. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. The entire team focus on the grisly mass murder of a suburban family, butchered with a kitchen knife. The only survivors are the family’s two daughters – one of whom is too traumatised to talk. 12.00am The Guardian 1.00 PGA Tour Golf 2.00 IndyCar 2.50 IndyCar 3.40 UEFA Cup Classics 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 The Great Artists
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 9.00 Ocean Adventures 9.30 Carling Cup Football 11.00 Elite League Speedway 1.00pm Netbusters 1.30 Carling Cup Football 3.00 Elite League Speedway 5.00 Asian Tour Golf 6.00 Golf: Ladies European Tour 7.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 10.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 12.00am Asian Tour Golf 1.00 Golf: Ladies European Tour 2.00 Spirit Of Golf 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Asian Tour Golf 4.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE Afterburn 8.00 Showjumping 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm PokerStars Caribbean Adventure 1.00 Showjumping 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 The Irish Golfer 3.00 Asian Tour Weekly 4.00 NFL – Total Access 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Spirit Of Golf 7.30 LIVE: Greyhound Racing 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Bowls 2.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 3.00 Close
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1.00pm Don’t Forget The Lyrics 2.00 A Town Called Eureka 3.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 A Town Called Eureka 9.00 House (x2) 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 9.00 The Autistic Me 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Underage And Pregnant 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 12.40am The Autistic Me 1.40 Binge Drinking: My Big Decision
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Only Connect 8.00 South Pacific 9.00 We Need Answers. See highlights. 9.30 Cowards 10.00 The Pre-Raphaelites: Victorian Revolutionaries 10.30 Getting On 11.00 Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe 11.30 Early Doors 12.00am Spanish Flu: The Forgotten Fallen
12.30pm Coronation Street 1.00 Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 The World’s Best Diet 9.00 FILM: Mickey Blue Eyes (1998) 11.10 FILM: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) 1.50am Emmerdale
11.55am The Beiderbecke Connection 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Upstairs Downstairs 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.10 The Beiderbecke Connection 5.15 Home To Roost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 A Touch Of Frost 10.00 Wire In The Blood 12.00am Reckless 1.05 A Touch Of Frost 2.50 Film File
1.25pm Big Brother 2.35 Friends 3.00 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny 11.05 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 11.55 Big Brother: Live
2.30pm The Coach Trip 3.00 A Place In The Sun 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Location, Location, Location 10.00 True Stories: Afghan Star 12.00am Location, Location, Location
12.50pm The Fix 1.00 60 Minute Makeover 2.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Four Weddings 9.00 Ghost Whisperer 10.00 Eleventh Hour 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
3.00pm Hitler’s Henchmen 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Kevin McCloud’s UK Superstructures (x2) 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Swamp Loggers 10.00 Alaska’s Great Race 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am How Stuff’s Made (x2)
1.00pm Quantum Leap (x3) 4.00 FILM: Hercules And The Amazon Women (1994) 6.10 FILM: Hercules In The Maze Of The Minotaur (1994) 8.00 Knight Rider 9.00 Dollhouse 10.00 FILM: Thir13en Ghosts (2001) 11.50 Medium 12.50am FILM: Candy Stripers (2006) 2.30 3rd Rock From The Sun 3.00 Mysterious Ways
11.25am Romeo And Juliet (1968) 1.45pm The Lost Weekend (1945) 3.30 The Bridges At Toko-Ri (1954) 5.15 Rooster Cogburn (1975) 7.05 The Conqueror (1956) 9.00 In The Heat Of The Night (1967) 10.50 The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie (1969) 12.50am Romeo And Juliet (1968)
10.40am Waitress (2007) 12.30pm Earth (1998) 2.20 Mumford (1999) 4.15 The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) 6.00 Tumbleweeds (1999) 7.45 The Apostle (1997) 10.00 Waitress (2007) 11.55 In Bruges (2008) 1.45am Face (1997) 3.35 Mumford (1999)
11.00am Lost (1955) 12.45pm Hoodlum Empire (1952) 2.40 The Ghost And Mrs Muir (1947) 4.45 David And Bathsheba (1951) 7.00 Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow (2004) 9.00 The Client (1994) 11.20 Rosemary’s Baby (1968) 2.00am Going Off Big Time (2000)
9.25am The Spy With My Face (1966) 11.00 Stop The World - I Want To Get Off! (1966) 1.00pm The Time Machine (1960) 3.00 Serenade (1956) 5.30 The Old Man And The Sea (1958) 7.10 To Trap A Spy (1966) 9.00 The Frisco Kid (1979) 11.15 Cool Hand Luke (1967) 1.40am The Frisco Kid (1979)
6.20pm Dinnerladies 7.00 Steptoe And Son 7.40 Yes, Prime Minister 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 9.00 Absolutely Fabulous 9.40 French And Saunders 10.35 Fawlty Towers 11.20 Little Britain USA 11.55 Blackadder The Third 12.35am Murder Most Horrid 1.15 The New Statesman (x2)
4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 South Park 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.35 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.35am South Park (x3)
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wednesday 12 Economy Gastronomy BBC2, 8pm Top chefs Allegra McEvedy and Paul Merritt (left) are dead good. Not only do they teach the Colton family how to cook yummy, tasty food from scratch but they do it while saving them money. Who says being poor has to mean eating badly. No siree! Well worth checking out for tips and a way to make you want more dins.
Who Do You Think You Are? BBC1, 9pm Kim Cattrall was born in England – despite the American twang. Liverpool to be precise, and she’s coming over to solve a family mystery that’s gone on for over 70 years. Good thing the paperwork’s about. Kim’s grandad walked out on her grandma and family and Kim wants to know why. Difficult answers abound.
Veronica Mars E4, 11.55pm It’s that series with that girl who used to be in Heroes as Sylar’s warped girlfriend in the show she was in before Heroes, back in America. You know who she is. And this is our chance to catch the teenage detective girl in her first major small screen outing, before anyone even thought of the idea of flying politicians.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Best Of Friends 4.35 Animals At Work 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 Krypto The Superdog 9.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 10.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 10.30 Deadly 60 11.00 The Flintstones 11.25 FILM: Max Keeble’s Big Move (2001) 12.45pm Castle In The Country 1.15 Open Gardens 1.45 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 2.30 Knowitalls 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Bargain Hunt Famous Finds 5.45 MOTD Live: Norway V Scotland 8.00 Economy Gastronomy See highlights. 9.00 Dragons’ Den Another set of businessmen and women pitch to the multimillionaire Dragons for that allimportant financial backing. Carol Savage is hoping to cook up a frenzy from Hertfordshire with her online community for food lovers. The Dragons are no strangers to fine wine, but can serial entrepreneur James Nash entice them to pour investment into his innovative single serve wine containers? Also striving to prove he deserves investment is Lancashire-based Paul Ward with his range of bug-busting cleaning products. 10.00 Taking The Flak Sitcom with Martin Jarvis and Doon Mackichan. BBC Brussels Correspondent and media darling Jeremy Morrison is parachuted into Karibu to report on the ceasefire, much to David’s disgust. As the world changes around him he fears for his future, while producer Jane must try and keep both her ‘big beasts’ happy with just one cameraman between them. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Kirsty Wark. 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed police drama. Omar visits Proposition Joe, and Freamon reveals a secret. 12.20am BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm For The Rest Of Your Life 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Golden Balls
6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 The Hoobs 6.55 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.20 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.50 Big Brother 8.55 Friends 9.25 Friends 9.55 Pussycat Dolls Vs Destiny’s Child: Top Ten 10.55 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 What’s In A Word? 12.50 FILM: McLintock! (1963) 3.10 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 3.40 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions
6.00 – 8.45am See highlights. 8.45 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.10 Hana’s Helpline 9.20 Funky Valley 9.25 Olivia 9.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Zoo Days 2.50 Property List: Top Spots 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.10 FILM: Accidental Friendship (2008) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Football: Carling Cup 10.30 On The Line 11.00 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 1.00pm Football Asia 1.30 Football: Carling Cup 3.00 On The Line 3.30 LIVE Cricket: Pro40 League 7.30 LIVE: International Football 10.30 You’re On Sky Sports! 12.00am International Football 2.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.30 International Football 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Abi is getting closer to Lucas each day and Daniel is worried. Yeah, ‘cause he’s the good guy worrying about her welfare. Not! 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Location, Location, Location Phil Spencer and Kirstie Allsopp host the property series. While two young medics are looking for a first-timebuy in Liverpool, fancy dress shop owner Gary Wakefield has his eyes on a family home in the Wirral. Theme rooms! Who wants to party in that house? Someone organise it. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the BB house. 10.00 Ugly Betty Drama series about an ordinary-looking secretary working for a fashion magazine. Betty races to prevent a PR disaster for Mode – will she reach Daniel in time? Isn’t this how the very first episode went? 11.00 Skins Drama series following the chaotic lives of a group of Bristol teenagers. JJ is feeling lost and visits his psychiatric clinic where he is given even more drugs. With Effy at such a low ebb, and the chance discovery of Cook and Pandora’s secret, he feels the burden to be overwhelming. But Emily proves to be a true friend at this time of need. 12.05am Teachers 1.10 Big Brother: Live 4.00 David Copperfield 5.35 Sali Mali 5.40 The Hoobs
6.00 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip Wildlife documentary series. At Blackpool Zoo, keeper Kahled Fawzey prepares a new outdoor enclosure for two new aardvark arrivals. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. Eightyeight capuchin monkeys rescued from a research laboratory in Chile wake up to their first morning at Monkey World. 8.00 FILM: It Could Happen To You (1994) Starring Nicolas Cage, Bridget Fonda, Rosie Perez. Romantic comedy about a New York cop who shares his $4m lottery win with a waitress after giving her half of his ticket in lieu of a tip. Although his wife is furious when she hears that he is going to honour his promise to split the winnings if his numbers come up, he is insistent, and all three of them become media celebrities. 10.05 FILM: Kickboxer (1989) Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme. Hard-hitting martial arts thriller, set in Thailand, about a man who undergoes a rigorous training programme in order to fight the kickboxer who paralyzed his brother. 12.05am PartyPoker.com European Open V 1.40 Ironman World Championships 2.30 Cricket On Five 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 The Great Artists
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Wildest Dreams The budding film-makers have a whole new set of skills to learn as they go underwater for the first time off the island of Zanzibar, as the contest to win a job with the BBC’s prestigious Natural History Unit continues. 8.30 Seaside Rescue Documentary series following Britain’s maritime rescue services. Think you can swim do you? Do you?! 9.00 Who Do You Think You Are? See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Jodie Prenger is live from Lottery HQ with the midweek draws. Not dead. 10.45 Silverville Documentary following the lives and loves of residents in a new, purpose-built retirement village in Milton Keynes. The residents are keen to find out what happens when heartbroken Burt goes to visit his son in France. Rose announces that the engagement is off, and ex-football referee Ken gets back on his feet. Yay! 11.15 League Cup Highlights 12.05am FILM: The Next Best Thing (2000) 1.45 Weatherview 1.50 Sign Zone: The Trouble With Girls 2.50 Rick Stein’s Far Eastern Odyssey 3.50 Heir Hunters 4.35 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Lexi feels traumatised after seeing Nicola with her baby. Natasha hopes that once Ryan leaves, Faye will follow. Debbie plays hard to get with Michael. 7.30 International Football: Holland V England Matt Smith presents live coverage from the Amsterdam Arena as England take on the highly-rated Dutch national team in a warm-up for the forthcoming World Cup qualifiers. Holland have already booked their place in South Africa, winning all seven of their group games so far, and the likes of Robin Van Persie, Dirk Kuyt and Klaas-Jan Hunterlaar will pose a big threat in front of a noisy home crowd. With studio analysis by Andy Townsend, and commentary by Clive Tyldesley and Jim Beglin. 10.10 The Late News; Weather 10.45 International Football Highlights Matt Smith presents highlights from England’s friendly against the highly-rated Dutch team, which is a warm-up for the forthcoming World Cup qualifiers. Like you could miss it if you tried. 11.45 Total Emergency Series following the emergency services in Sheffield. 12.40am Nightwatch With Steve Scott (x2) 2.25 Jeremy Kyle Show 3.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 Cricket: The Ashes 2009 9.00 Golf: PGA EuroPro Tour 11.00 The Premiership Years 1.00pm Golf: Ladies European Tour 2.00 Mountain Bike World 2.30 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 4.30 NFL – Total Access 5.30 Total Rugby 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.30 Golf: USPGA Championship 7.30 LIVE: International Football 10.00 Boots ‘n’ All 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am World Tenpin Masters 1.00 Total Rugby 1.30 Max Power 2.30 Watersports World 3.30 Poker: Sports Stars Challenge IV 2009 5.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE: Vintage Collection 8.00 Golf: Ladies European Tour 9.00 The Premiership Years 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 2.00 Golf: PGA EuroPro Tour 4.00 WWE The Bottom Line 5.00 WWE Afterburn 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 LIVE: Cricket: Pro40 League 9.30 Golf: USPGA Championship 10.30 Golf: PGA EuroPro Tour 12.30am European Tour Weekly 1.00 Golf: USPGA Championship 2.00 Golf: PGA EuroPro Tour 4.00 Close
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1.00pm Don’t Forget The Lyrics 2.00 A Town Called Eureka 3.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Fat And Proud 9.00 Girl Who Never Ate 10.00 FILM: Bad Boys (1995) 12.15am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Underage And Pregnant 7.30 FILM: The Princess Diaries (2001) 9.20 Pregnancy: My Big Decision 10.20 Family Guy (x2) 11.05 Little Britain 11.35 We Are Klang 12.05am Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 1.00 Underage And Pregnant 1.30 Pregnancy: My Big Decision 2.30 Bizarre ER
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Once A Soldier 8.00 Casualty 1909 9.00 The Cell 10.00 Robert Hooke: Victim Of Genius 11.00 FILM: Twelve Monkeys (1995) 1.05am The Cell 2.00 Robert Hooke: Victim Of Genius 3.00 The Cell
12.30pm Planet’s Funniest Animals 1.00 Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 FILM: About A Boy (2002) 10.10 FILM: Kevin And Perry Go Large (2000) 11.50 FILM: 8 Mile (2002) 1.50am Emmerdale
1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Upstairs Downstairs 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.10 The Beiderbecke Connection 5.15 Home To Roost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 8.00 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Life 11.00 FILM: Reversal Of Fortune (1990) 1.10am Upstairs, Downstairs 2.05 Surgical Spirit (x2)
5.00pm Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997) 11.05 You Have Been Watching 11.55 Veronica Mars. See highlights. 12.50am A Shot At Love With Tila 1.45 Big Brother: Live
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Time Team 10.00 The Scandalous Adventures Of Lord Byron 11.05 The Victorian Sex Explorer 12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares 1.15 Time Team
12.50pm The Fix 1.00 60 Minute Makeover 2.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Private Practice 9.00 Eleventh Hour 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
12.00pm Oil, Sweat And Rigs 1.00 Tony Robinson’s Romans 2.00 Elite Forces 3.00 Hitler’s Generals 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Extreme Engineering 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 The Last Aztec 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am How Stuff’s Made
12.00pm Jericho (x3) 3.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x2) 4.00 FILM: Hercules In The Maze Of The Minotaur (1994) 5.50 FILM: Dragon Quest (2009) 7.40 Legend Of The Seeker: The Making Of A Legend 8.10 FILM: Jurassic Park (1993) 10.40 FILM: Merlin And The Book Of Beasts (2009) 12.30am FILM: Spirit Trap (2005)
1.15pm What A Way To Go! (1964) 3.15 Mister 880 (1950) 5.00 Sorry, Wrong Number (1948) 6.35 Zorba The Greek (1964) 9.00 Tora! Tora! Tora! (1970) 11.25 What A Way To Go! (1964) 1.20am The Man In The Gray Flannel Suit (1956) 4.00 A Medal For Benny (1945)
11.20am Onegin (1999) 1.10pm McCabe And Mrs Miller (1971) 3.20 Tell No One (2006) 5.35 Ride With The Devil (1999) 7.55 The Movie Geek 8.25 The Escapist (2001) 10.00 Onegin (1999) 11.50 Magnolia (1999) 3.10am Hana-Bi (1997) 5.00 The Movie Geek
11.00am The One That Got Away (1958) 1.10pm The Card (1952) 2.55 A Letter To Three Wives (1949) 5.00 Carry On Doctor (1968) 6.50 Eye Of The Needle (1981) 9.00 The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) 11.05 Riff-Raff (1991) 1.00am Town And Country (2001) 3.05 Tony Scott Interview
11.05am To Trap A Spy (1966) 1.00pm Welcome To Hard Times (1967) 3.00 Skyjacked (1972) 4.55 The Glass Bottom Boat (1966) 7.05 Crossing Delancey (1988) 9.00 Selena (1997) 11.25 Switchback (1997) 1.40am Selena (1997) 3.45 The Oklahoma Kid (1939) 5.00 Welcome To Hard Times (1967)
4.20pm My Family 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 Dinnerladies 7.00 Steptoe And Son 7.40 Yes, Prime Minister 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 9.00 Fawlty Towers 9.45 Little Britain USA 10.20 Blackadder The Third 11.00 Only Fools And Horses 12.50am Murder Most Horrid
5.00pm Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 The Office: An American Workplace 10.35 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x3)
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thursday 13 How Clean Is Your House? Channel 4, 8pm There’s a new series that’ll make you squirm in your seat and wonder exactly what those numbers that Aggie comes up with actually mean again. So many bacteria, so little time. Kim and Aggie kickstart the series with a visit to a 44-year-old Glaswegian who runs a business from his front room. Grotty.
Being Human BBC1, 10.35pm For those who missed this ace supernatural drama series because the powers that be saw fit to show it on non-terrestrial channels, here’s your chance to find out what all the fuss is about. A ghost, a werewolf and a vampire enter into a houseshare. It’s tough being different. And so good looking.
Dollhouse Sci Fi, 10pm This is a bit of an epilogue back from when the series didn’t think it was going to be re-commissioned. It is. So this blast from the possible future may not actually be referenced in any way by the second series. S’good though, as there’s an apocolypse type thing (as always) and a true significance to the Dollhouse.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 4.35 SMart 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 ChuckleVision 8.15 Arthur 8.30 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 Krypto The Superdog 9.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 10.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 10.30 Deadly 60 11.00 The Flintstones 11.25 The Flintstones 11.50 FILM: Tuck Everlasting (2002) 1.15pm Open Gardens 1.45 Animal Park 2.15 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic 6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz. 6.30 Knowitalls Gyles Brandreth presents the second of the semifinals of the quiz without questions. 7.00 The Edinburgh Festival Show Lauren Laverne presents from the Pleasance Courtyard – the heart of the biggest ever Edinburgh Festival. There’s absolutely loads on. 7.50 A Norfolk Rhapsody Nature documentary. 8.00 Rick Stein’s Far Eastern Odyssey Rick visits Sri Lanka and discovers a wealth of hot and spicy vegetable curries and then moves on to Bali, where food takes on a religious significance. 9.00 Mock The Week Two teams of comedians take a satirical swipe at the news and world events. Host Dara O’Briain is joined by regulars Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons, and guests Ed Byrne and Stewart Francis. 9.30 The Funny Side Of Politics Clive Anderson guides us through the history of television’s relationship with politics. Everybody – ”Hold... A... Chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose.” And more salubrious comments. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Louis Theroux – The City Addicted To Crystal Meth Repeat of last Sunday’s show. 12.20am Wine 1.20 BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm For The Rest Of Your Life 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Golden Balls
6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.00 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.30 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.55 Big Brother 8.55 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 Britney Vs Christina: Top 10 10.55 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 A Place By The Sea 1.30 FILM: Smoky (1946) 3.10 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 3.40 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Gilly competes for Steph’s attentions by volunteering for a variety of oddjobs about the place. Way to a girl’s heart to be sure. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 How Clean Is Your House? See highlights. 8.30 Dolce Vito – Dream Restaurant Entrepreneur Vito Cataffo sets out on an epic quest to prove that our food is the best in the world by running a restaurant serving British grub in Italy. Hoorah! 9.00 How The Other Half Live 11year-old Sam shares a small council flat in North London with his family, who are finding it difficult to pay the rent. Millionaires Peter and Julie from Kent, who have an 11-year-old daughter, want to help them. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the last 24 hours in the BB house. 11.10 The TNT Show Jack Whitehall and Holly Walsh present a weekly entertainment show. 11.45 Lady GaGa: Video Exclusive 11.50 You Have Been Watching Repeat of Tueday’s show. 12.40am 4 Music: The JD Set Presents: The Asteroids Galaxy Tour 12.55 4 Music: 4Play: Enter Shikari 1.10 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Revelations: Talking To The Dead 4.55 Scrapheap Challenge 5.50 The Treacle People
6.00 – 8.40am Children’s television 8.40 Little Princess 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.05 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Hana’s Helpline 9.27 Milkshake! Show Songs 9.30 Olivia 9.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Zoo Days 2.50 Property List: Top Spots 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: The Tenth Circle (2008) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip Michaela visits Drusillas Park in East Sussex. The resident Humboldt penguins have new hatchlings but the parents are unhappy when keepers attempt to complete a health check. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Inferno 999 Documentary series following the daily lives of fire officers from the Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service. Not the latest 70s style disaster flick. 8.00 Extreme Fishing With Robson Green Robson heads to the Tennessee river in the Deep South of the US to try ‘catfish grabbling’. 9.00 The Mentalist Drama series. A murder investigation is launched when the body of a wealthy businessman is found in a luxury marina. 10.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series about an elite force. A rape victim is abducted from hospital and later found murdered. One of the suspects is a sociopath with a juvenile conviction for rape, torture and murder. 11.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Police drama series. When a young actress is murdered, Goren and Eames focus their attention on a man who had showed an interest in the victim and her boyfriend. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 NFL Classics 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 The Great Artists
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Golf: USPGA Championship 10.00 International Football 12.00pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 Total Rugby 1.00 Golf: USPGA Championship 2.00 International Football 4.00 Total Rugby 4.30 Golf: USPGA Championship 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Carling Cup Football 7.00 LIVE: Golf: USPGA Championship 12.00am Live Golf: USPGA Championship 1.00 Carling Cup Football 2.00 Barclays Premier League World 2.30 Trans World Sport 3.30 Carling Cup Football 4.30 Barclays Premier League World 5.00 NFL - Total Access
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Ian is the victim of a con. He probably just wishes he thought of it first. 8.00 As Seen On TV Quiz host Steve Jones and regular team captains Fern Britton and Jason Manford are joined by actor Richard Fleeshman, Strictly’s Anton Du Beke, presenter Mel Sykes and legend Christopher Biggins. 8.30 The Rat Pack Doc following the work of pest controllers. 9.00 New Tricks Crime drama series. When former escort girl Alice Hill finds God and decides to confess her sins, the UCOS team find themselves reinvestigating the death of well-known timeshare magnate Dean Scott. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Being Human See highlights. 11.35 FILM: Dracula 2000 (2000) Starring Christopher Plummer, Gerard Butler, Jonny Lee Miller, Justine Waddell. Adaptation of the classic horror story in which the Count escapes to modern-day New Orleans, hoping to wreak revenge on the daughter of his long-time nemesis. 1.05am Holiday Weatherview 1.10 Sign Zone: Panorama 1.40 Countryfile 2.40 The Royal Academy Summer Exhibition 2009 3.40 Heir Hunters 4.25 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Lexi finds herself alone with Nicola’s baby – what will she do? Juggle! 7.30 Countrywise 8.00 Emmerdale As a desperate Lexi faces Carl on the hospital roof, a terrified Jimmy and Nicola fear for their daughter’s life – can Lexi be talked down? 8.30 Coronation Street Michelle is sickened by Maria’s new relationship. Have some Pepto Bismol, love. 9.00 The Bill A child is found abandoned in a busy market, but all he will say is that someone called Clara is dead. His mother is traced and explains that Clara is their nanny. Clara is found at a construction site beaten and unconscious. Not dead though. So that’s alright. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Suffolk Strangler: Real Crime The story of the killings in Suffolk at Christmas 2006 that caught the attention of the world’s media. A serial killer went on the rampage, targeting prostitutes in the Ipswich area, leaving one of the country’s smallest police forces to investigate. 11.35 Surface Fantasy drama and undersea adventure series. 12.30am Motorsport UK 1.15 Nightwatch With Steve Scott (x2) 3.05 Supernatural 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Total Rugby 11.30 European Tour Weekly 12.00pm Boots ‘n’ All 1.00 Premier League Years 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 NFL - Total Access 4.30 LIVe Cricket: Pro40 League 10.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 10.30 LIVE: Sky Poker Five-OO 12.30am NFL - Total Access 1.30 Race World 2.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 8.00am Ocean Adventures 8.30 European Tour Weekly 9.00 Premier League Years 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 World Tenpin Masters 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Boots ‘n’ All 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 6.30 Race World 7.30 LIVE: National Rugby League 9.30 WWE Late Night Raw 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am National Rugby League 2.30 Close
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3.00pm Brainiac: Science Abuse 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Noel’s Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 9.00 Justin Lee Collins: The Wrestler 10.00 Bones 11.00 Fringe (x2) 1.20am Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 9.00 Nip And Tuck: My Big Decision 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 We Are Klang 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Nip And Tuck: My Big Decision 12.45am Snog Marry Avoid? (x2) 1.45 Underage And Pregnant 2.15 We Are Klang
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Hidden Histories 8.00 BBC Proms 2009: Stravinsky’s Rite Of Spring 10.00 Wallander 11.25 Later...with Jools Holland 12.30am The Cell 1.30 Pandemic: A Horizon Guide 2.30 BBC Proms 2009: Stravinsky’s Rite Of Spring
1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 Holiday Showdown 9.00 America’s Got Talent 10.00 Entourage 10.30 U2 360 Tour 11.00 Coronation Street 11.30 FILM: Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason (2004) 1.35am America’s Got Talent
2.35pm Pie In The Sky 3.35 The Beiderbecke Connection 4.40 Monarch Of The Glen 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Pie In The Sky 7.55 The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Greatest Cities Of The World With Griff Rhys Jones 10.00 The Forsyte Saga 11.40 Numb3rs 12.40am The Casebook Of Sherlock Holmes
2.30pm Friends 3.00 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Reaper 10.00 The Big Bang Theory 10.30 The Loop 11.00 King Of The Hill 11.30 Reno 911 12.00am Everwood
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies 10.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 11.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 12.05am Without A Trace
12.50pm The Fix 1.00 60 Minute Makeover 2.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Criminal Minds 9.00 Supernatural 10.00 Private Practice 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
TCM
1.00pm Tony Robinson’s Romans 2.00 Elite Forces 3.00 Hitler’s Generals 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Extreme Engineering 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Mega Builders 10.00 Mega Builders 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am How Stuff’s Made
11.00am Angel (x5) 4.00 FILM: King Of The Lost World (2005) 5.30 FILM: Jurassic Park (1993) 8.00 Legend Of The Seeker (x2) 10.00 Dollhouse. See highlights. 11.00 Knight Rider 12.00am Medium 1.00 FILM: Bubba Ho-Tep (2002) 3.00 Mysterious Ways 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho
11.00am To Catch A Thief (1955) 12.50pm Rear Window (1954) 2.50 35mm 3.20 Notorious (1946) 5.10 Spellbound (1945) 7.10 Dial M For Murder (1954) 9.00 Marnie (1964) 11.10 The Birds (1963) 1.10am Frenzy (1972) 3.10 Torn Curtain (1966) 5.20 Topaz (1969)
9.00am La Vie En Rose (2006) 11.25 The Kite Runner (2007) 1.35pm Juno (2007) 3.15 Best (2000) 5.05 La Vie En Rose (2006) 7.30 The Movie Geek 8.00 The Singer (2006) 10.00 Juno (2007) 11.40 Fargo (1996) 1.25am Love Me If You Dare (2003) 3.10 The Kite Runner (2007)
11.00am The Way Home (2002) 12.45pm Ticket To Tomahawk (1950) 2.35 Doctor At Large (1957) 4.30 Explorers (1985) 6.40 A River Runs Through It (1992) 9.00 Hide And Seek (2005) 11.00 In The Cut (2003) 1.20am One Missed Call (2003)
9.05am The Glass Bottom Boat (1966) 11.10 Crossing Delancey (1988) 1.00pm Dark Victory (1939) 3.00 Travels With My Aunt (1972) 5.00 The Oklahoman (1957) 6.35 The Sea Chase (1955) 9.00 Short Cuts (1993) 12.40am Trog (1970) 2.10 O Lucky Man! (1973) 5.00 Dark Victory (1939)
4.20pm My Family 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 Dinnerladies 7.00 Steptoe And Son 7.40 Yes, Prime Minister 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine 9.00 Only Fools And Horses 10.50 Last Of The Summer Wine 12.50am French And Saunders 1.30 Murder Most Horrid
4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Scrubs 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40am South Park (x3)
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friday 14 Hotel Babylon BBC1, 9pm The most fun-trash-drama-guiltypleasure sees Sam and Juliet share a few intimate dates and a few old feelings coming back, not all of them welcome. Plus it’s Tony’s turn to host a concierge get-together – work with it, people – but he gets called away, only to be taught a lesson in manners by his colleagues.
I’ve Never Seen Star Wars BBC2, 11.05pm You know those statements that seem so unlikely you just have to repeat them in a high pitched voice? This is one of those TV interview shows that exploits that. Moving over from BBC4, Marcus Brigstocke questions Nigel Havers on why he hasn’t done things he really thinks he ought to have. Not shrill though.
Pie In The Sky ITV3, 6.55pm Most detectives in the 90s had a day job. Some were sweet ladies with the WI (Hetty Wainthrop), some doctors (Diagnosis Murder), and some ran a restaurant. Like this one. Starring Richard Griffith as kindly and nurturing, as opposed to his regular student viewed incarnation in Withnail and I.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Heir Hunters 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Basil’s Game Show 4.35 Hotel Trubble 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 Krypto The Superdog 9.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 10.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 10.30 Deadly 60 11.00 The Flintstones 11.25 The Flintstones 11.50 FILM: Just My Luck (1957) 1.15pm Open Gardens 1.45 Animal Park 2.15 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 5.15 Cash In The Celebrity Attic
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm For The Rest Of Your Life 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Golden Balls
6.00 – 8.50am Children’s Television 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.05 The Mr. Men Show 9.15 Hana’s Helpline 9.27 Milkshake! Show Songs 9.30 Olivia 9.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Zoo Days 2.50 Property List: Top Spots 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Love’s Abiding Joy (2006) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Carling Cup Football 10.00 Golf: USPGA Championship 2.00pm Carling Cup Football 3.00 Premier League Years 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 LIVE: Golf: USPGA Championship (x2) 1.00 Football League Weekend 2.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Super League 5.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 My Family Domestic sitcom. 8.00 EastEnders Ronnie is furious when Archie meddles in her life again. You’d think he’d know that would be the outcome by now. 8.30 Traffic Cops Documentary series following the traffic police as they enforce the law on some of Britain’s busiest and most dangerous roads. So many pianos falling. 9.00 Hotel Babylon See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Rock ‘n’ Roll Hotel Documentary. As Mark Fuller reaches the middle of March 2009, work on the hotel is nearing completion. He desperately needs the hotel to open. But hours before a vital building inspection, disaster strikes as a pipe bursts. Underwater boutique hotel? 11.15 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11.20 FILM: Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995) Starring Steven Seagal, Eric Bogosian, Katherine Heigl. Action-packed thriller set on a train in which terrorists seize control of a satellite particle-beam weapon. Say that six times fast after tequila. 12.50am Weatherview 12.55 Sign Zone: Silverville 1.25 Economy Gastronomy 2.25 Heir Hunters 3.10 BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts a general knowledge quiz. 6.30 Knowitalls Gyles Brandreth presents the grand final of the quiz without questions. Are you tense? 7.00 Mud, Sweat And Tractors: The Story Of Agriculture Documentary series about the history of 20th-century farming in Britain tells how the country became selfsufficient in producing bread-making wheat after the Second World War. Clever country. 8.00 Gardeners’ World Toby Buckland visits the RHS garden at Hyde Hall in Essex for inspiration on creating and planting a dry garden. 9.00 Grow Your Own Down-to-earth comedy drama, inspired by true stories. Given ground in some Liverpool allotments, troubled refugees meet with mixed reactions from the existing plot holders, who have headaches and heartaches of their own to fret over. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Gavin Esler. 11.05 I’ve Never Seen Star Wars See highlights. 11.35 Medium Supernatural drama. Allison is called in to help a famous FBI Behavioural Unit profiler on the trail of a dangerous serial killer. 12.15am Medium 1.00 The Wire (x3) 3.50 Burnley Are Back!
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Leyla encourages Katie to make a move on Ryan. Would that be a moonwalk or the Macarena? Or thumb wars? Yeah. 7.30 Coronation Street Will Steve and Becky’s wedding go off without a hitch? Surely they want to get hitched. Foolish English language. 8.00 Airline A couple and their family are removed from a flight from Bristol to Inverness when their baby shows the marks of chickenpox. 8.30 Coronation Street Becky spends her wedding night behind bars. Steve warns Hooch that he will have his revenge. Mwah-ha-ha! 9.00 Kingdom Drama. A woman from Eastern Europe arrives in distress at Peter’s office. Her baby has been stolen, and she accuses her former employer, local farmer Jack Thriplow, of taking her child. Little fingers are excellent strawberry-pickers. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 The Bill Repeat of Thursday’s episode. 11.35 FILM: The Howling (1981) Starring Dee Wallace, Patrick Macnee, Christopher Stone. Chiller about a woman who experiences strange goings-on at a remote Californian health retreat. 1.10am FILM: Alien Siege (2005) 2.45 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 The Hoobs 6.50 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.20 Big Brother’s Little Brother 7.45 Big Brother 8.55 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 Eminem Vs Kanye West: Top 10 11.00 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Rescue Remedies 12.40 My Place In The Sun 1.10 FILM: American Guerilla In The Philippines (1950) 3.10 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 3.40 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.10 Deal Or No Deal: Noel’s Hall Of Fame 5.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions (x2) 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Abi and Daniel clash over their plans for baby Lucas. Feeling sorry for Ste, Abi decides to stop drugging him. Ah, bless. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.35 The Finishing Line Estephan Wagner meets Noel Martin, a quadriplegic who wants to be euthanised, 13 years after being attacked by neo-Nazis in East Germany. Gruelling documentary. 8.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? The Houghton family decide whether to go for broke in Las Vegas, or play it safe with a move to the Norfolk countryside? Have they SEEN CSI? ‘Tis a dangerous land. 9.00 Big Brother Davina announces the results of the latest eviction vote live into the Big Brother house. Plus highlights from the past 24 hours. Someone snogged someone else in a desperate attempt not to get evicted. 10.00 The Kevin Bishop Show Fast-paced sketch show. 10.35 Big Brother The evictee gets grilled by our Davina. 11.10 The Simpsons 11.40 Russell Brand’s Ponderland Comedian Russell Brand shares his surrealistic take on the world. 12.10am 4 Music: Sonisphere Festival 2009 Highlights from the 1.15 Big Brother: Live 4.00 3 Minute Wonder 4.05 Full Metal Challenge 5.00 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour
6.00 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip Wildlife documentary series. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Fifth Gear Stunt Special Special edition of the motoring magazine show. Stuntman Steve Truglia prepares to perform a toy-car trick in a life-size vehicle. Is someone going to press a big button while he whizzes around in circles on a tram? 8.00 You’re Nicked Natalie Pinkham finds out the true stories behind dramatic crimes caught on camera. In this episode, police chase a suicidal motorist down the M1. Surely off the motorway would make more sense. 9.00 NCIS Drama series. The team learns that ten kilos of highly toxic chemical weapons have fallen into the hands of a dangerous terrorist and race against time to stop him using them. Are there such things as safe terrorists? 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama series that follows New York’s Major Case Squad. A judge is shot dead by a sniper while participating in a reenactment of a famous duel. Goren and Eames suspect a politician’s scandal-ridden husband may be responsible for ordering the hit. 11.00 CSI: Miami Repeat of Tuesday’s episode. 12.00am Quiz Call 4.00 The Gadget Show 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 The Great Artists
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 Ocean Adventures 9.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 10.00 Barclays Premier League World 10.30 Race World 11.30 Ocean Adventures 12.00pm Carling Cup Football 1.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 1.30 Barclays Premier League World 2.00 National Rugby League 4.00 Trans World Sport 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 Ocean Adventures 6.30 Gillette World Sport 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE: Super League 10.00 Football League Weekend 11.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am Super League 2.00 Tight Lines 3.00 NFL – Total Access 4.00 Football League Weekend
Sky Sports 3 7.00am National Rugby League 9.00 Premier League Years 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Race World 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Race World 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 3.00 Race World 4.00 WWE Raw 6.00 LIVE: Rugby Union: Currie Cup 8.00 Tight Lines 9.00 WWE Smackdown 11.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 12.00am Premier League Years 2.00 Rugby Union: Currie Cup 4.00 Tight Lines 5.00 Mountain Bike World 5.30 Football Asia Victoria Nangle
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1.00pm Don’t Forget The Lyrics 2.00 A Town Called Eureka 3.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 FILM: Bad Boys (1995) 12.15am Road Wars (x3) 2.30 Is Harry On The Boat?
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Doctor Who 8.50 Doctor Who Confidential 9.00 Torchwood: Children Of Earth 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Ideal (x2) 11.35 Family Guy (x2) 12.20 We Are Klang 12.50 Torchwood: Children Of Earth 1.50 Ideal 2.20 Ideal 2.50 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 BBC Proms 2009: Birtwistle’s Mask Of Orpheus 10.00 They Came From Manchester: The Story Of Mancunian Pop 11.00 Factory: Manchester From Joy Division To Happy Mondays 12.30am The Stone Roses Live 1.15 They Came From Manchester: The Story Of Mancunian Pop
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 My Child Can’t Stop Eating: Real Families 9.00 America’s Got Talent: Finale 10.00 FILM: The Dukes Of Hazzard (2005) 12.10am Coronation Street (x2)
1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.10 The Beiderbecke Connection 5.15 Home To Roost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky. See highlights. 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Life 10.00 FILM: The Presidio (1988) 12.05am Flashpoint 12.55 Wycliffe
1.25pm Big Brother 2.35 Friends 3.00 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.30 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.00 Wife Swap 11.05 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 12.10am Big Brother: Live
3.00pm A Place In The Sun 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal: Noel’s Hall Of Fame 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: Enemy At The Gates (2001) 11.35 Shrink Rap: Billy Connolly 12.40am Grand Designs
12.50pm The Fix 1.00 60 Minute Makeover 2.00 Passport Patrol (x2) 3.00 Criminal Minds 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Will And Grace (x2) 8.00 Army Wives 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00 CSI: Miami 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 12.00am Criminal Minds
G.O.L.D.
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1.00pm Tony Robinson’s Romans 2.00 Elite Forces 3.00 Hitler’s Generals 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Extreme Engineering 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Churchill’s Girl 10.00 SAS: Special Forces Heroes 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am How Stuff’s Made
11.00am Mysterious Ways (x5) 4.00 FILM: Cyclops (2008) 6.00 FILM: Dungeons And Dragons: Wrath Of The Dragon God (2005) 8.00 FILM: The Celestine Prophecy (2006) 10.00 Medium 11.00 Heroes (x2) 1.00 Medium 2.00 3rd Rock From The Sun (x4) 4.00 Angel 5.00 Jericho
2.30pm Mr Hobbs Takes A Vacation (1962) 4.30 Seven Thieves (1960) 6.15 Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines (1965) 8.30 The Blue Max (1966) 11.05 Pimpernel Smith (1941) 1.05am Scream And Scream Again (1970) 2.45 Compulsion (1959) 4.40 Pimpernel Smith (1941)
11.35am 4 Months, 3 Weeks And 2 Days (2007) 1.35pm Tumbleweeds (1999) 3.20 Sicko (2007) 5.30 35mm 6.00 Waitress (2007) 8.00 Tarantino On...Psycho 8.20 Psycho (1998) 10.10 Tarantino On... 10.25 There Will Be Blood (2007) 1.05am Waitress (2007) 3.05 The Movie Geek
1.05pm The Barbarian And The Geisha (1958) 3.10 I Was A Male War Bride (1949) 5.15 Revenge Of The Pink Panther (1978) 7.10 Bugsy Malone (1976) 9.00 The Shawshank Redemption (1994) 11.45 The Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994) 1.20am Smiles Of A Summer Night (1955) 3.30 Tony Scott Interview
9.10am The Oklahoman (1957) 10.45 The Sea Chase (1955) 1.00pm The Defector (1966) 3.00 Key Largo (1948) 4.55 One Of Our Spies Is Missing (1966) 6.40 Four Eyes And Six Guns (1992) 8.30 The Screening Room 9.00 Losing Isaiah (1995) 11.05 Private Benjamin (1980) 1.15am Losing Isaiah (1995)
3.00pm Last Of The Summer Wine 3.40 Maid Marian And Her Merry Men 4.20 My Family 5.00 As Time Goes By 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 Dinnerladies 7.00 Steptoe And Son 7.40 Yes, Prime Minister 8.20 Last Of The Summer Wine (x2) 11.00 Jonathan Creek 12.15am French And Saunders (x2)
3.00pm Two And A Half Men (x2) 4.00 Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 South Park (x5) 11.30 The Sarah Silverman Programme 12.00am Edinburgh And Beyond
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saturday 15 ER Channel 4, 8.10pm The final series of the epic medical emergency drama soldiers on, each episode pinging with poignancy as the familiar characters set themselves up for lives beyond our television screens – like Neela getting a job offer in North Carolina. Meanwhile Gates gets on with the doctoring. Bless.
Outnumbered BBC1, 9.10pm Hugh Dennis’ long-suffering dad escapes for the night with Mum, leaving a Croatian babysitter to cope with the creative hoard. Poor dear. Ben is so disruptive in sister Karen’s make-believe restaurant that he gets thrown out, and Grandad tries to convince Jake invading Russia is a bad idea.
The Loop E4, 7.30pm The new US comedy about an airline executive continues,, revealing him to be a bit of a serial dater. All good here. He’s young, attractive and single but with a boss determined to get in the way of him reconnecting with old date Jolie. Not good form. But then maybe this second chance just wasn’t meant to be.
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6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 11.30 Eating In The Sun 12.00pm BBC News 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Triathlon: World Championship Series - London 2009 4.30 Final Score 5.30 BBC News 5.40 South East Today 5.50 Walk On The Wild Side
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Fimbles 6.55 Take A Bow 7.00 Animalia 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 Funky Fables 7.50 Eliot Kid 8.05 Wolverine And The XMen 8.25 Richard Hammond’s Blast Lab 8.55 Diddy Dick And Dom 9.00 Skate Nation 10.00 Athletics: World Championships 12.30pm FILM: South Pacific (2001) 2.40 FILM: Tycoon (1947) 4.45 Athletics: World Championships
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Countrywise 9.55 Planet’s Funniest Animals 10.45 FILM: Summer Holiday (1963) 12.45pm ITV News And Weather 12.50 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Celebrity 1.50 FILM: Loch Ness (1996) 3.40 FILM: The Scorpion King (2002) 5.20 Meridian News And Weather 5.35 ITV News And Weather 5.50 Best Ever Hidden Camera Stunts 5
6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 MSA Formula Ford Championship 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Yo Gabba Gabba 9.25 Friends 10.00 We Love Take That! Top 10 11.00 Friends 11.30 JLS’s Postcard From T4 On The Beach 11.45 Friends 12.15pm Diversity’s Postcard From T4 On The Beach 12.30 Big Brother 1.30 Big Brother 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.10 Location, Location, Location 4.40 Gok’s Fashion Fix 5.40 Come Dine With Me
6.00am Gillette World Sport 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 Football League Weekend 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 Live Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.15 Live Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x4) 4.15 You’re On Sky Sports 5.10 Gillette World Sport 5.40 Close
6.20 The Weakest Link Anne Robinson presents the quick-fire general knowledge quiz in which contestants must decide at the end of each round which of their number should be eliminated. With scripted put downs. She’s not all that. 7.20 Total Wipeout Richard Hammond hosts more crashes, smashes and hilarious mud splashes on the world’s most ridiculous and extreme obstacle course. Wonder if they run adventure holidays there between seasons. 8.20 The National Lottery: Guesstimation Nick Knowles hosts as two families try to out-guess each other to win a dream holiday, with the help of special guests performing unusual challenges. Kirsty Gallacher is live from Lottery HQ with the Dream Number draws. 9.10 Outnumbered See highlights. 9.40 BBC News 10.00 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents all the highlights from the Premier League as the 2009/10 season gets underway. One of the most intriguing matches sees Manchester City visit Blackburn Rovers. 11.20 The Football League Show Manish Bhasin brings you every goal from every game of The Football League. 12.35am FILM: Tactical Assault (1998) 2.00 Weatherview 2.05 News
8.45 BBC Proms 2009 From the Royal Albert Hall, a concert from the 76 Proms forming the 115th season of BBC Proms. Wonder how far through them all we are... 10.15 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Extended version of the classic news quiz with Paul Merton and Ian Hislop. 10.55 The Funny Side Of Politics Clive Anderson charts the history of television’s relationship with politics via the things that can and will go wrong. Anyone fancy making thier daughter eat possibly contaminated meat for their career? There’s the politician for us! 11.55 The Edinburgh Festival Show Lauren Laverne presents from the Pleasance Courtyard – the heart of the biggest ever Edinburgh Festival. Lauren looks at the very best of the first week of the Fringe including The Hotel – a transformed building in the city centre which offers a different theatrical, comic or musical experience in every room (directed by comedian Mark Watson); and Internal at The Traverse, which explores the worlds of speed dating and group therapy, and makes the audience take part in both.There’s a celebration of the quintessential Edinburgh writer Muriel Spark, and comic and actor Janeane Garofalo. 12.45am FILM: Resting Place (1986) 2.20 FILM: Border Blues (2004)
6.50 FILM: King Kong (2005) Starring Naomi Watts, Adrien Brody, Jack Black, Colin Hanks, Thomas Kretschmann and Jamie Bell. Oscarwinning remake of the classic Depression-era monster movie. Down-on-her-luck actress Ann Darrow accepts an offer to star in a film shot on the mysterious Skull Island. When the crew arrive, Ann is abducted by natives who offer her as a sacrifice to a giant ape. But instead of devouring her, the ape becomes smitten with her. But true love never did run smooth. He was a giant ape, she was a small blonde lady. They came from different sides of the tracks. And bars. 10.15 ITV News; Weather 10.30 FILM: Pretty Woman (1990) Starring Julia Roberts, Richard Gere, Ralph Bellamy, Jason Alexander, Laura Giacomo. Romantic-comedy reworking of the Pygmalion theme. When a ruthless corporate mogul finds himself lost in downtown Hollywood, he turns to a streetwise hooker to help him back to upmarket Beverly Hills. Acting on a whim, he pays her three thousand dollars to be his companion for the week, little anticipating the profound effect the agreement will have on them both. 12.45am Holly And Fearne Go Dating 1.15 FILM: The Last Ride (2004) 2.45 Crossing Jordan 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.45 Channel 4 News 7.15 ER Final series of the American drama set in the emergency room of Chicago’s busy General Hospital. Gates and Morris tend to an elderly man who was assaulted on the street. Brenner and Dubenko clash while treating a mother thought to have late-stage cancer. Morgenstern returns to the ER to assist a former mentor who is seriously ill. 8.10 ER See highlights. 9.10 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. Post-eviction panic! 10.10 FILM: Babel (2006) Starring Brad Pitt, Gael Garcia Bernal, Cate Blanchett, Rinko Kikuchi and Adriana Barraza. Oscar-winning ensemble drama exploring how the shooting of an American tourist in Morocco links four seemingly unconnected stories. The narrative switches between the US couple whose holiday to try to solve their marital issues is shattered by gunfire, the Mexican housekeeper who is looking after their children, the disobedient Moroccan boys who fire the shot and the relationship between the Japanese businessman who used to own the offending weapon and his deaf daughter. 12.50am Alan Carr: Chatty Man 1.40 Big Brother’s Big Mouth 2.35 Big Brother: Live 4.00 Scrapheap Challenge 4.55 The Big Monster Dig 5.50 The Treacle People
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.50 The Secret Of Eel Island 9.05 Roary The Racing Car 9.10 Rupert Bear 9.35 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Mobil 1 The Grid 10.30 Fifth Gear Stunt Special 11.00 The Gadget Show 12.00pm Big, Bigger, Biggest 1.00 The Gadget Show 1.05 FILM: The Taking Of Pelham One Two Three (1974) 3.00 FILM: North By Northwest (1959) 5.40 Five News 5.45 FILM: Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989) 7.10 The Guardian Drama series about a lawyer who is sentenced to community service. A disabled boy whose mother has been sent to prison for prostitution is about to be taken into care when Nick takes up his case. The boy wants to live with his stepfather, but the man has a criminal record. ‘Fight For Your Right’ by The Beastie Boys, original vinyl. 8.10 NCIS Drama following a team of agents who investigate crimes connected to the Navy. A secret service agent is called in to help with the investigation into the death of a commanding officer. Not that secret if we know about him. K’huh! 9.10 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series about forensic investigators. A woman and her young daughter are left for dead at a household shooting. Elsewhere, Grissom comes face to face with the ‘miniature’ killer. Ittle bittle. 10.10 Law And Order: SVU Drama series about an elite force based in New York. When bones belonging to a boy are discovered in a playground, the resulting investigation leads to the case of four missing Puerto Rican boys who were never found. 11.10 True CSI Forensic series. 12.10am Quiz Call 4.00 The FBI Files 4.45 Rough Guide To Islands 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 LIVE Rugby Union (x2) 10.30 Gillette World Sport 11.00 LIVE Twenty20 Cup Cricket 6.00pm TBA 6.30 Seamaster Sailing 7.00 LIVE: Twenty20 Cup Cricket 10.30 Grand Prix Speedway 1.30am Twenty20 Cup Cricket 3.30 NFL - Total Access 4.30 Max Power 5.30 Mountain Bike World
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Tight Lines 7.00 WWE Smackdown 9.00 Golf: USPGA Championship 12.30pm LIVE Scottish Premier League 3.00 WWE The Bottom Line 4.00 LIVE Golf: USPGA Championship 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 3.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 4.00 Sports Unlimited 5.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 5.30 Close
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1.00pm Oops TV (x2) 2.00 UK Border Force 3.00 WWE Smackdown 5.00 Oops TV (x2) 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Noel’s Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old? 9.00 Justin Lee Collins: The Wrestler 10.00 Lie To Me (x2) 12.00am Antony Gormley’s One And Other 12.30 Bones
7.00pm LIVE: World Freerun Championships 2009 8.05 Top Gear 9.10 FILM: Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy (2004) 10.40 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow 11.30 Family Guy 11.50 American Dad! 12.10am How Not To Live Your Life 12.40 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum
7.00pm Only Connect 7.30 The Story Of Maths 8.30 In Concert: Crosby And Nash 9.00 FILM: Woodstock (1970) 12.35am Sight And Sound In Concert 1.05 Hotel California: LA From The Byrds To The Eagles 2.35 In Concert: Crosby And Nash 3.05 The Story Of Maths 4.05 Only Connect
1.25pm Holiday Airport 2.30 FILM: E.T. (1982) 4.50 America’s Got Talent 5.50 America’s Got Talent: Finale 6.50 The Xtra Factor: Rewind 7.50 FILM: About A Boy (2002) 9.55 FILM: The Mummy Returns (2001) 12.25am The Xtra Factor: Rewind 1.25 America’s Got Talent 2.15 America’s Got Talent: Finale
12.55pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.55 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes 3.00 Bertie And Elizabeth 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Inspector Morse 7.55 Wycliffe 9.00 Taggart 10.35 Taggart 12.05am FILM: The Presidio (1988) 1.55 Upstairs, Downstairs 2.50 Drama Trails 3.00 Teleshopping
12.40pm Roswell 1.35 Roswell 2.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends 5.30 Friends 6.00 Reaper 7.00 The Big Bang Theory 7.30 The Loop. See highlights. 8.00 Friends 8.30 Friends 9.00 FILM: The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell Of Fear (1991) 10.40 FILM: Rat Race (2001) 12.50am Big Brother: Live
12.10pm Time Team (x2) 2.20 FILM: Great Expectations (1946) 4.40 Grand Designs Revisited 5.40 Grand Designs (x4) 10.00 Will Ferrell: You’re Welcome America 12.00am The West Wing 1.00 The Ultimate West Wing Challenge 1.30 Will Ferrell: You’re Welcome America 3.30 Close
12.00pm Bewitched (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 Make Me A Supermodel US 3.00 Nothing To Declare (x8) 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Medium (x4) 12.00am The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (x2) 1.00 The Real Housewives Of Orange County 2.00 Boston Legal (x3) 4.40 Men In Trees 5.30 Home Shopping
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Discovery
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11.00am Mythbusters 12.00pm Destroyed In Seconds (x12) 6.00 Mega Builders 7.00 Superships (x2) 9.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 10.00 Minutes From Disaster 11.00 The World’s Deadliest Gangs (x2) 12.00am How Stuff’s Made (x2) 1.00 Destroyed In Seconds (x2) 2.00 Minutes From Disaster
3.00pm FILM: Hercules And The Circle Of Fire (1994) 5.00 Knight Rider 6.00 Legend Of The Seeker (x2) 8.00 Legend Of The Seeker: The Making Of A Legend 8.30 FILM: The Medallion (2003) 10.10 FILM: An American Werewolf In London (1981) 12.10am FILM: Bubba HoTep (2002)
12.25pm Junior Bonner (1972) 2.25 Paint Your Wagon (1969) 5.10 A Tree Grows In Brooklyn (1945) 7.20 Fixed Bayonets (1951) 9.00 The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951) 10.35 Emperor Of The North (1973) 12.40am Junior Bonner (1972) 2.30 A Tree Grows In Brooklyn (1945)
1.15pm Youth Without Youth (2007) 3.20 Mumford (1999) 5.20 Almost Famous (2000) 8.00 Tarantino On... 8.10 McCabe And Mrs Miller (1971) 10.15 Inglourious Basterds Special 10.45 Tarantino On... 11.00 Death Proof (2007) 1.00am The Escapist (2001) 2.40 Sky Movies Special
11.00am Ticket To Tomahawk (1950) 1.00pm Home Alone 3 (1997) 2.55 David And Bathsheba (1951) 5.10 Those Glory, Glory Days (1983) 7.00 Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow (2004) 9.00 The Client (1994) 11.20 The Cave (2005) 1.15am Rosemary’s Baby (1968)
10.45am Four Eyes And Six Guns (1992) 12.30pm The Screening Room 1.00 Lucky Me (1954) 3.00 Goodbye Mr Chips (1969) 5.40 Fort Vengeance (1953) 7.05 Swing Shift (1984) 9.00 Bloodbrothers (1978) 11.15 The Screening Room 11.50 Star 80 (1983) 1.50am Bloodbrothers (1978) 3.50 Pick A Star (1937)
2.20pm The Thin Blue Line 3.00 Blackadder II 3.40 The Thin Blue Line 4.20 Blackadder The Third 4.55 FILM: Stuart Little () 6.40 The Thin Blue Line 7.30 Blackadder The Third 8.15 The Thin Blue Line 9.00 Jonathan Creek 10.20 Victoria Wood Live 12.20am French And Saunders 1.00 The New Statesman (x2)
4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Frasier (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 9.00 Jo Brand: Barely Live 10.30 Edinburgh And Beyond 11.30 Comedy Store (x2) 12.30am The World Stands Up 1.00 Comedy Blue
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sunday 16 Celebrity Wife Swap Channel 4, 8pm What do you get when you swap the wife of a sports commentator, sacked from his job for making a racist comment, with the first British black woman to win an Olympic gold medal? Tune in to find out when Ron Atkinson and Tessa Sanderson light the fuse paper and the rest of us step back. Blimey.
Britain’s Love Story ITV1, 11.15pm Kicking off in the ‘50s and ‘60s, when free love raised its head and marriage was supposed to last forever, this is the first in a three-part series about modern love, sex and marriage as they developed over the last 50 years. Tony Booth talks about his affair with Pat Phoenix, and the tale of madam Cynthia Payne is retold.
Privileged E4, 7pm America sure likes to highlight the gap between the haves and have-nots. We’ve already got Gossip Girl and 90210, but this latest offering is a little more grounded. It’s a comedy drama about an educated live-in tutor for a pair of spoiled Palm Beach teens. Only some are monied, but obviously all are stunning.
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6.00am Breakfast 7.40 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm BBC News 12.05 Cash In The Attic 1.05 Keeping Up Appearances 1.35 Murder, She Wrote 2.20 EastEnders 4.15 The Green Green Grass 4.45 Lifeline 4.55 Songs Of Praise 5.30 The Rat Pack
6.00am Tikkabilla 6.30 Fimbles 6.55 Take A Bow 7.00 Da Dick And Dom Dairies 7.25 Diddy Dick And Dom 7.30 M.I. High 8.00 Undercover Dads 9.00 Athletics: World Championships 12.00pm Animal Park 12.30 MotoGP 2009: Round 11 - Brno 2.05 FILM: A Distant Trumpet (1964) 4.00 Flog It! 5.00 Athletics: World Championships
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Britain’s Favourite View 9.40 Coronation Street Omnibus 11.55 ITV News And Weather 12.00pm Wish You Were Here - Now And Then 12.30 Dream Homes 1.30 Dickinson’s Real Deal 2.30 Columbo: Now You See Him 4.30 Lewis
9.00 Top Gear Motoring news and views from the usual team. Richard Hammond celebrates the 40th birthday of the iconic Ferrari Daytona by taking one back to its spiritual home on the Italian Riviera, before attempting to beat James May and a multimillion-pound power boat in a race from Portofino to St Tropez. 10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Highlights of today’s matches. Generally including some small mostly white cylinders rolling rapidly towards a swathe of netting. 10.50 Mock The Week Two teams of comedians take a satirical swipe at the news and world events. Host Dara O Briain is joined by regulars Frankie Boyle, Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard and Andy Parsons, and guests Ed Byrne and Stewart Francis. 11.20 FILM: Roger Dodger (2003) Starring Campbell Scott, Jesse Eisenberg, Isabella Rossellini, Elizabeth Berkley, Jennifer Beals, Mina Badie and Ben Shenkman. Indie comedy drama in which Roger Swanson, a high-flying veteran of Manhattan’s dating scene, teaches his naive 16-year-old nephew about women over one long night in the city. He realises he still has something to learn about what the opposite sex really wants. 1.00am FILM: Countess Dracula (1970) 2.30 BBC News4.45 The Super League Show
6.30 Meridian News And Weather 6.45 ITV New; Weather 7.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot When a stranger is found murdered at Warmsley Vale, the Cloade family ask for Poirot’s help to find out if the dead man was Rosaleen Cloade’s first husband. The Cloades have been suffering financially since Rosaleen married their uncle Gordon, and if they could prove the marriage was bigamous then they could inherit Gordon’s fortune. Hmm. What if Uncle Gordon wants to give it to a cats home? Maybe they should try getting off thier backsides and working for a living. 9.00 Single-Handed Conclusion of the police drama. Sergeant Jack Driscoll receives a midnight call to investigate activity on an isolated beach and unwittingly stumbles into the middle of an undercover police operation. To complicate matters, his old flame Detective Maura Dooley – the reason he was forced to leave Dublin - is part of the undercover team. Doggone it!. 11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.15 Britain’s Love Story See highlights. 12.15am Crossing Jordan 1.00 A Match Made In Heaven 1.50 Quincy, ME 2.45 Kojak 3.40 Countrywise 4.05 Dog Rescue 4.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.20 The Mr. Men Show 8.35 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.50 What Makes Me Happy 9.00 Roary The Racing Car 9.15 Rupert Bear 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Snobs 10.30 Everybody Hates Chris 11.00 Megastructures 12.00pm The Hotel Inspector 1.00 FILM: The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course (2002) 2.50 FILM: The Odyssey (1997) 5.40 Five News 5.45 FILM: Clash Of The Titans (1981) 8.05 FILM: Mr Nice Guy (1997) Starring Jackie Chan, Richard Norton, Miki Lee, Karen McLymont, Gabrielle Fitzpatrick and Vince Poletto. Martial arts action comedy about a TV chef who becomes embroiled in a drug lord’s search for an incriminating video. The kung-fu fighting cook steps in to save an investigative journalist on the run from a gang of murderous drug dealers. Bet he serves a good chop. We’ll get our coats. 10.00 FILM: Hard To Kill (1990) Starring Steven Seagal, Kelly LeBrock, Bill Sadler, Frederick Coffin, Bonnie Burroughs and Zachary Rosencratz. Action drama. An LA cop uncovers a politician’s plot to assassinate an election opponent, but before he can expose the would-be senator, his home is attacked by three corrupt police officers. The intruders kill the man’s wife and son and leave him in a coma. When he comes round seven years later, the cop prepares to wage war on the guilty party, now in charge of the LA police. Sounds a bit like Kill Bill Part 1. Little bit. 11.50 You’re Nicked Natalie Pinkham finds out the true stories behind crimes caught on camera. 12.55am ITU Triathlon 1.50 ITU Triathlon 2.40 2008 Summer X Games 3.30 Boxing Classic 3.45 Boxing USA 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday (x2) 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE: USPGA Golf 12.00am Super League 2.00 Ford Football Special 3.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 4.00 Super League
6.00 Seaside Rescue Documentary series following Britain’s maritime rescue services. As a Saturday night in Torquay winds down, the RNLI and a Royal Navy helicopter strive to save a man who has plunged a hundred feet down a cliff a quarter of a mile away. Don’t try this at home! 6.30 BBC News 6.45 South East Today 7.00 Countryfile Countryfile. 8.00 Jam And Jerusalem Rural comedy set in the small town of Clatterford in Devon. Caroline is planning a dinner party for husband John and his friends from London. 9.00 Rivers With Griff Rhys Jones Griff is in London, but instead of working his way up the Thames he heads off for another river vital in the city’s history: the Lea. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 FILM: Poseidon (2006) Starring Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Jacinda Barrett, Richard Dreyfuss, Emmy Rossum. Remake of the classic seafaring disaster film. 11.50 FILM: Women Of Valour (1986) Starring Susan Sarandon. The story of a group of American nurses based in the Philippines during WWII who are captured, starved and tortured in a Japanese POW camp. 1.25am Weatherview 1.30 Sign Zone: Seaside Rescue 2.00 Holby City 3.00 Monty Halls’ Great Escape 4.00 Heir Hunters 4.45 BBC News
6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 The Hoobs 6.50 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.20 British Triathlon Grand Prix 8.20 The McCain Track And Field Show 8.50 Big Brother 9.50 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.25pm Big Brother’s Little Brother 1.30 Friends 2.00 Friends 2.30 Ugly Betty 3.25 The Simpsons 3.55 The Simpsons 4.30 FILM: WarGames (1983) 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Revelations: How Do You Know God Exists? The leading figures of the five principal faiths in the UK – Anglican, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim and Hindu – discuss the continued relevance of religion in their lives in 21st century Britain. Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Westminster Vincent Nichols, Muslim theologian Tariq Ramadan, Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks and Swami Pramtattvadas talk. 8.00 Celebrity Wife Swap See highlights. 9.00 Big Brother Highlights from the previous 24 hours in the Big Brother house. Maybe it rains, all the hairstraighteners are conviscated and half the house go around with paper bags over their heads. Try it, BB. 10.00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man Guests include Jack Dee, Amanda Holden and Alan Dale, while Pixie Lott performs her single ‘Boys and Girls.‘ Didn’t Blur do something similar? 10.50 FILM: Just Married (2003) Starring Ashton Kutcher, Brittany Murphy. Rom-com in which a newlywed couple on honeymoon discover that the girl’s disapproving family and ex are following them in an attempt to sabotage their marriage. 12.40am Big Brother: Live 4.00 Truel 4.15 Full Metal Challenge 5.10 Scrapheap Challenge
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Wild Spirits 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Twenty20 Cup Cricket 9.00 Golf: USPGA Championship 1.00pm Grand Prix Speedway 4.00 LIVE Golf: USPGA Championship 7.00 LIVE: Super League 9.00 Seamaster Sailing 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 12.00am Masters Tennis 2.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Max Power 7.00 Beach Volleyball 8.00 Beach Volleyball 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Twenty20 Cup Cricket 1.00pm Seamaster Sailing 1.30 Wild Spirits 2.00 WWE Experience 3.00 WWE Vintage Collection 4.00 Seamaster Sailing 4.30 Masters Tennis 6.30 LIVE: Masters Tennis 9.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Beach Volleyball 12.00am Beach Volleyball 1.00 Wild Spirits 1.30 Seamaster Sailing 2.00 Close
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12.00pm It’s Me Or The Dog USA (x2) 2.00 UK Border Force 3.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x4) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Simpsons (x6) 9.00 House (x2) 11.00 Justin Lee Collins: The Wrestler 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.55 Football Icon 2 2.50 Street Wars 3.45 Drug Wars: D.E.A.
7.00pm Most Annoying Couples 7.10 FILM: Princess Diaries 2: The Royal Engagement (2004) 9.00 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 10.00 Family Guy 10.20 American Dad! 10.45 Binge Drinking: My Big Decision 11.40 Young, Dumb And Living Off Mum 12.40am World Freerun Championships 2009
7.00pm The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency 8.00 Wainwright’s Walks 8.30 Fossil Detectives 9.00 100 Years Of Girl Guides 10.00 Picture This 10.30 FILM: The King Of Comedy (1982) 12.15am Factory: Manchester From Joy Division To Happy Mondays 1.45 They Came From Manchester
12.30pm FILM: E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) 2.55 The Xtra Factor: Rewind 3.55 TV’s Funniest Music Moments 5.00 Animals Do The Funniest Things 6.00 The Xtra Factor: Rewind 7.00 FILM: Nanny McPhee (2005) 9.00 FILM: The Pelican Brief (1993) 11.50 Entourage 12.20am The Xtra Factor: Rewind
11.50am Inspector Morse 1.55pm Kavanagh QC 3.35 Wycliffe 4.40 FILM: Heaven Can Wait (1978) 6.45 Another Audience With Dame Edna Everage 7.50 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: The Orchard Walls 9.00 FILM: The Life Of David Gale (2003) 11.35 FILM: King David (1985) 1.45am Inspector Morse
10.35am Desperate Housewives (x4) 3.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 4.00 Heartland 5.00 Friends 5.30 Friends 6.00 Ugly Betty 7.00 Privileged. See highlights. 8.00 One Tree Hill 9.00 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 FILM: Blackball (2003) 12.00am Big Brother: Live
2.25pm How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 5.15 Come Dine With Me (x5) 8.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Home 9.00 The Secret Millionaire 10.00 Bodyshock: Half Ton Man 11.10 Father Ted 11.45 Curb Your Enthusiasm 12.20am TV Heaven, Telly Hell 12.50 Kirstie’s Homemade Home 1.50 The Secret Millionaire
12.00pm Bewitched (x2) 1.00 Charmed 2.00 FILM: The Great Escape (1963) 5.15 The Fix 5.30 Passport Patrol (x3) 7.00 Four Weddings 8.00 Ghost Whisperer 9.00 CSI: Miami 10.00 Criminal Minds 11.00 Supernatural 12.00am The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air (x2) 1.00 The Real Housewives Of Orange County
G.O.L.D.
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Sci Fi
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1.00pm Mega Builders 2.00 How Do They Do It? (x2) 3.00 How It’s Made (x2) 4.00 Dinosaur Planet 5.00 Weird Creatures With Nick Baker 6.00 Mythbusters 7.00 Swamp Loggers 8.00 Time Warp (x2) 9.00 Extreme Bodies 10.00 I Was Bitten 11.00 SAS: Special Forces Heroes 12.00am How Stuff’s Made
12.50pm FILM: The Medallion (2003) 2.30 FILM: King Kong (1976) 5.00 FILM: Dragon Hunter (2008) 6.00 Legend Of The Seeker 7.00 Knight Rider 8.00 Dollhouse 9.00 FILM: King Kong (1976) 11.30 FILM: The Ferryman (2007) 1.30am Medium 2.30 3rd Rock From The Sun 3.00 Mysterious Ways
12.05pm The Enemy Below (1957) 1.45 Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea (1961) 3.35 Robinson Crusoe On Mars (1964) 5.30 Dial M For Murder (1954) 7.20 The Enemy Below (1957) 9.00 Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea (1961) 10.50 Psycho (1960) 12.50am The Oblong Box (1969)
12.45pm Detroit Rock City (1999) 2.25 Lenny (1974) 4.20 The Counterfeiters (2007) 6.00 Once (2006) 7.30 Inglourious Basterds Special 8.15 Sunshine (2007) 10.05 Tarantino On... 10.20 Taxi Driver (1976) 12.20am Inglourious Basterds Special 12.50 Face (1997)
11.00am The Wrong Arm Of The Law (1963) 1.00pm Bugsy Malone (1976) 2.50 The Riddle Of The Sands (1979) 4.50 One Of Our Aircraft Is Missing (1942) 6.50 Akeelah And The Bee (2006) 9.00 The Full Monty (1997) 10.45 Kiss Of The Dragon (2001) 12.35am Persona (1966) 2.15 Tony Takitani (2004) 3.55 Close
11.05am Swing Shift (1984) 1.00pm The Story Of Mankind (1957) 3.00 The Treasure Of The Sierra Madre (1948) 5.25 Rampage (1963) 7.20 Viva Las Vegas (1964) 9.00 Fandango (1984) 10.45 Blazing Saddles (1974) 12.35am Fandango (1984) 2.15 The Screening Room 2.45 Wild Rovers (1971)
2.00pm FILM: Stuart Little 3.40 The Thin Blue Line (x2) 5.00 Blackadder Goes Forth 5.40 The Thin Blue Line 6.20 Blackadder Goes Forth 7.00 The Thin Blue Line 7.40 Blackadder Goes Forth 8.20 The Thin Blue Line 9.00 Victoria Wood Live 11.00 Only Fools And Horses 12.40am French And Saunders
9.00am The King Of Queens (x18) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x6) 9.00 South Park: The Seven Deadly Sins 9.30 South Park: The Seven Deadly Sins (x3) 11.00 Jo Brand: Barely Live 12.30am Scrubs 1.00 Rules Of Engagement 1.30 The Office: An American Workplace
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monday 17 The Gadget Show Five, 8pm Working here must be like having Christmas every single day. Playing with new toys, working out how they work, showing off to your mates – brill. Tonight Jason and Ortis test a selection of ‘how to’ websites to become instantly the best. Like in The Matrix. Then they get tested by the experts. Not like The Matrix.
Panorama BBC1, 8.30pm With the war in Afghanistan continuing to take British soldiers’ lives and controversy still reigning over our involvement, Jane Corbin travels across the war-stricken country. Has the British presence there made life better for women, whose plight was cited as a reason to invade?
We Are Klang BBC3, 9.30pm The bizarre comedy series from the acclaimed sketch group continues. Love is in the air on Valentine’s Day in the Klangbury council offices. Poor old deputy mayor Greg is feeling loveless though, and to top it all the beautiful health inspector is on her way round. Will they pass the health test? Will Greg get a date?
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Saints And Scroungers 10.00 Escape To The Country 11.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.30 Trash To Cash 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Kerwhizz 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.50 League Of Super Evil 4.00 Thumb Wrestling Federation 4.05 Best Of Friends 4.35 Animals At Work 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 ChuckleVision 8.15 Arthur 8.30 The Legend Of Dick And Dom 9.00 Wolverine And The X-Men 9.20 Krypto The Superdog 9.30 Krypto The Superdog 9.45 OOglies 10.00 Horrible Histories 10.30 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 10.35 Deadly 60 11.05 The Flintstones 11.30 Castle In The Country 12.00pm Open Gardens 12.30 FILM: Ring Of Bright Water (1969) 2.15 Sun, Sea And Bargain Spotting 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.45 Athletics: World Championships 9.00 Future Of Food George Alagiah travels the world to reveal a growing global food crisis. With food riots on three continents recently, and unprecedented competition for food due to population growth and changing diets, there is a looming problem. George joins a Maasai chief among the skeletons of cattle he has lost to climate change, and the English farmer who tells him why food production in the UK is also hit. 10.00 How Not To Live Your Life Sitcom about 20-something Don, a man with bad luck and even worse instincts, whose overactive imagination is always in full flow in the form of quick-fire fantasy sequences as he imagines what he would really like to say. A night out on the pull with Eddie ends in all sorts of drama for Don. Coming back to the house, Don finds out that his true love Abby has just split up with Karl, and Don ends up upsetting the girl he met in the bar. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Kirsty Wark. 11.20 The Wire Critically acclaimed police drama. Freamon goes around the chain of command while searching for missing bodies. They won’t like that at the top! 12.20am BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 No Place Like Home? 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 60 Minute Makeover 12.30pm For The Rest Of Your Life 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Good Bid, Good Buy 3.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 4.00 Heartbeat 5.00 Golden Balls
6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 8.00 Big Brother 9.00 Friends 9.30 Friends 10.00 Just Dance! Lady GaGa’s 20 Party Tunes 11.00 Shipwrecked 2009: Battle Of The Islands 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 In Your Dreams 12.45 My Place In The Sun 1.15 FILM: The Incident (1990) 3.10 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 3.40 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 4.10 Deal Or No Deal: Noel’s Hall Of Fame 5.00 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 5.30 Come Dine With Me Extra Portions 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Daniel panics when Ste goes missing with baby Lucas. Ste is shocked when Abi tells him that Daniel won’t care about their illicit kiss. (Gruff voice): He only wants the bay-bay. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 The Princess And The Gangster Documentary looking at Princess Margaret’s association with notorious lawbreaker John Bindon. A chance meeting in Mustique started a friendship between the two which sparked rumours of a sexual relationship. Oh matron! 9.00 On Tour With The Queen On the 60th anniversary of the Commonwealth, actor, playwright and second generation immigrant Kwame Kwei-Armah retraces the Queen’s 1953 journey around the Colonies. The next stops on Kwame’s roundthe-world tour are Australia and New Zealand. The ‘colonies’ y’know. 10.00 Big Brother Highlights from the last 24 hours in the BB house. 11.10 Celebrity Wife Swap Repeat of Sunday’s show. 12.10am 4 Music: Basement Jaxx: Video Exclusive 12.20 Wakestock Music 2009 12.50 Kasabian: Live T4 Special 1.20 Big Brother: Live 4.00 One Minute Past Midnight 4.15 David Copperfield 5.50 Sali Mali 5.55 The Hoobs
6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.35 Little Princess 8.50 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 9.00 The Mr. Men Show 9.10 Hana’s Helpline 9.25 Funky Valley 9.30 Olivia 9.45 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Medical Investigation 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Zoo Days 2.50 Property List: Top Spots 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Love Takes Wing (2009) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Michaela’s Animal Road Trip Wildlife documentary series in which Michaela Strachan scours the country to find Britain’s most devoted animal guardians. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn discovers how Marmite is made. Ugh! 8.00 The Gadget Show See highlights. 9.00 The Hotel Inspector Alex Polizzi transforms failing hotels across the UK. Alex checks in to Glangrwyney Court in the Black Mountains. Despite a five-star rating and a reasonable occupancy rate, the guest-house is bleeding cash at an alarming rate. Can Alex get to the bottom of this money pit? 10.00 FILM: The Forgotten (2004) Starring Julianne Moore, Dominic West, Gary Sinise, Anthony Edwards and Alfre Woodard. Twisted sci-fi thriller in which a grieving mother, struggling to cope with the loss of her son, is told that he never existed. She begins a mission to prove both her son’s existence and her sanity. 11.55 Most Evil Forensic crime series that gets into the mind of the most deadly criminals. 12.55am NASCAR Sprint Cup 1.50 Race And Rally UK 2.40 Motorsport Mundial 3.05 FIM Motocross 3.55 NHRA Drag Racing 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 The Great Artists
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 11.00 Super League 1.00pm Ford Football Special 2.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 3.00 Super League 5.00 Extra Time 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE: Elite League Speedway 9.30 Netbusters 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30am Time Of Our Lives 1.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 Time Of Our Lives 3.00 Netbusters 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Bang Goes The Theory The team take on more popular science. Liz Bonnin investigates recent research into the magnetic qualities of cows, while Dallas Campbell puts psychological priming to the test. 8.00 EastEnders Ronnie visits Joel at work with a sexy proposition and Dot receives the shocking news that Jim is coming home. 8.30 Panorama See highlights. 9.00 The Street Drama series. When Margie leaves Eddie to go and take care of her elderly father, his lonely colleague Sandra decides to take him under her wing. In Margie’s absence, will Eddie be tempted to stray? 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Would I Lie To You? Host Rob Brydon joins regular team captains David Mitchell and Lee Mack for the comedy panel show. Guests include Ken Livingstone, Reginald D Hunter, Fern Britton and Stephen Mangan. 11.05 Blood, Sweat And Takeaways Looking at the true story behind our convenience foods. 12.05am FILM: Lawn Dogs (1997) 1.40 Weatherview 1.45 Sign Zone: The Supersizers Eat... Ancient Rome 2.45 Bang Goes The Theory 3.15 Desperate Romantics 4.15 Taking The Flak 4.45 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Nicola and Jimmy bring baby Angelica home. Ah. 7.30 Coronation Street Sophie questions Kevin about his running. Tina employs tough love tactics with Joe. Parents and kids, eh? 8.00 Airline Docusoap. The early morning calm at Bristol Airport is shattered as Michelle Bartley’s hen party arrives en route to Benidorm. You mean they go to other places besides West Street? 8.30 Coronation Street Kevin has some news for an angry Molly. Norris and Emily are stunned by Ramsay’s announcement. 9.00 Monday Monday Roger’s guilty secret is finally revealed, putting his marriage and job on the line. Christine hits rock bottom – while Sally and Steven admit their feelings for one another. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Matrix Revolutions (2003) Starring Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, CarrieAnne Moss, Monica Bellucci and Hugo Weaving. Final part of the trilogy that sees Neo, Morpheus and Trinity battling to save Zion from the onslaught of the machines. 12.50am British Touring Car Championship Highlights 2.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Ocean Adventures 6.30 Golf: USPGA Championship 10.30 NASCAR 12.30pm Golf: USPGA Championship 4.30 LIVE Cricket: Pro40 League 10.00 Poker 11.30 Speedway 1.30am British Basketball 3.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 NASCAR Sprint Cup 10.00 Seamaster Sailing 10.30 Ocean Adventures 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Beach Volleyball 1.00 Beach Volleyball 2.00 Seamaster Sailing 2.30 NASCAR Sprint Cup 4.30 Ocean Adventures 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Extra Time 7.30 Wild Spirits 8.00 British Basketball 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close
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3.00pm Brainiac: Science Abuse 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Oops TV 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x4) 9.00 Brothers In Arms: Basra 10.30 Greatest Champions League Goals 11.30 Josef Fritzl: Story Of A Monster 12.30am TV’s 50 Hardest Men 2.20 Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Bizarre ER 8.30 Underage And Pregnant 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 We Are Klang. See highlights. 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Little Britain 11.05 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Underage And Pregnant 12.20am Gavin And Stacey
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Legends 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 Wallander 10.30 The Grandparent Diaries 11.30 The Grandparent Diaries 12.30am The Grandparent Diaries 1.30 Only Connect 2.00 Style On Trial (x2)
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 New Homes From Hell 9.00 Peter Andre: Going It Alone 10.30 Coronation Street (x2) 11.30 Celebrity Juice (x2) 12.30am Peter Andre: Going It Alone
11.55am My Uncle Silas 1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Upstairs, Downstairs 3.05 Pie In The Sky 4.10 My Uncle Silas 5.15 Home To Roost 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Pie In The Sky 7.55 Jeeves And Wooster 9.00 Martina Cole’s Lady Killers 10.00 Taggart 11.00 The Bill 12.10am FILM: King David (1985)
1.55pm Big Brother 3.00 Desperate Housewives 3.55 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Big Brother’s Little Brother 6.25 Friends 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 My Name Is Earl 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Shameless 11.05 FILM: Blackball (2003) 1.05am Big Brother: Live
5.05pm Relocation, Relocation 6.10 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Property Snakes And Ladders 10.00 The Home Show 11.00 Kevin McCloud And The Big Town Plan 12.15am Property Snakes And Ladders
12.50pm The Fix 1.00 60 Minute Makeover 2.00 Nothing To Declare (x2) 3.00 Ghost Whisperer 4.00 Charmed (x2) 6.00 America’s Next Top Model 7.00 Ghost Whisperer 8.00 Make Me A Supermodel US 9.00 Four Weddings 10.00 CSI: Miami (x2) 12.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
G.O.L.D.
Comedy Central
Discovery
Sci Fi
Sky Movies
Sky Movies
Film4
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1.00pm Mummy Autopsy 2.00 Elite Forces 3.00 Hitler’s Generals 4.00 Time Team 5.00 Extreme Engineering 6.00 Deadliest Catch 7.00 Mythbusters 8.00 How Do They Do It? 8.30 How It’s Made 9.00 Time Warp (x2) 10.00 American Chopper 11.00 Born Survivor: Bear Grylls 12.00am How Stuff’s Made
12.05pm Thunderbirds (x4) 4.20 FILM: Descent (2005) 6.10 FILM: Ba’al: The Storm God (2008) 8.00 FILM: Fireball (2009) 9.40 Legend Of The Seeker: The Making Of A Legend 10.10 Legend Of The Seeker (x2) 12.10am Medium 1.10 FILM: UKM: The Ultimate Killing Machine (2006) 3.00 Mysterious Ways
12.35pm Steptoe And Son Ride Again (1973) 2.20 Teacher’s Pet (1958) 4.25 Journey To The Far Side Of The Sun (1969) 6.10 The Big Country (1958) 9.00 Splendor In The Grass (1961) 11.10 A Lovely Way To Die (1968) 1.00am The Beautiful Blonde From Bashful Bend (1949)
12.00pm Be Kind Rewind (2008) 1.45 Barton Fink (1991) 3.45 Water (2005) 5.45 Be Kind Rewind (2008) 7.30 The Portrait Of A Lady (1996) 10.00 Nelly And Monsieur Arnaud (1995) 11.50 Barton Fink (1991) 1.50am Girl 6 (1995) 3.40 Nelly And Monsieur Arnaud (1995)
11.00am The Card (1952) 12.45pm Dragoon Wells Massacre (1957) 2.30 The Ghost And Mrs Muir (1947) Rex Harrison is the spectre of a sea captain haunting a young widow. 4.35 Catch That Kid (2004) 6.20 Coach Carter (2005) 9.00 Hide And Seek (2005) 11.00 Wolf Creek (2004) 12.55am Reeker (2005)
11.20am Viva Las Vegas (1964) 1.00pm Bombers B52 (1957) 3.00 The VIPs (1963) 5.20 Bye Bye Braverman (1968) 7.10 Code Name: Emerald (1985) 9.00 Surviving Picasso (1996) 11.00 Showdown In Little Tokyo (1991) 12.30am Surviving Picasso (1996) 2.15 Showdown In Little Tokyo (1991)
3.00pm Only Fools And Horses 3.40 Sorry! 4.20 My Family 5.00 Last Of The Summer Wine 5.40 One Foot In The Grave 6.20 Dinnerladies 7.00 Steptoe And Son 7.40 Yes, Prime Minister 8.20 Only Fools And Horses (x2) 10.40 The Story Of Only Fools And Horses 12.00am Never Mind The Horrocks
4.00pm Everybody Hates Chris (x2) 5.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (x2) 6.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 7.00 The King Of Queens (x2) 8.00 Frasier (x2) 9.00 Two And A Half Men (x2) 10.00 Rules Of Engagement 10.30 Sex And The City (x2) 11.40 Two And A Half Men (x2) 12.40 South Park (x3)
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