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9/25/09
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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
WIN! ★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★
An exclusive print worth over £300 p 5
29 Sept – 5 Oct 2009
FREE WEEKLY
THE ARROGANT FROG Seaside dining in our food special SPEECH DEBELLE Back chat with the Mercury Prize winner BLIND TIGER CLUB The award-winning speakeasy returns
wamvonthely
Your hy guide to hea3lt living p2
Picture this The original and eclectic Brighton Art Fair returns to the Corn Exchange page 12
Oriental buffet - eat as much as you like With over 50 items for lunch and 70 items for dinner including seafood, aromatic crispy duck, Japanese sushi, teppanyaki and fruit ice cream. Lunch from: £5.99 Dinner from: £8.99 Buy one get one free soft drinks & Sun Lik Beer (until 31 Oct, evenings only)
18-19 York Place Brighton BN1 4GU Tel: 01273 698 606
000_LS443_Foxys
9/23/09
3:14 PM
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003_LS443_contents
9/25/09
1:01 PM
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welcome
L7 CONTENTS 04 NEWS & COMMENT
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4 Social Diary Partying with Crosby & Moore Solicitors and surfing with White Air 5 City Speak Seann plans a move; Will meets a very German German 5 Competitions Win an art print and a Simon Amstell dinner date 6 News Phil Mills digests the week’s headlines; Councillor Mary Mears on electric car charging points 6 Latest Inbox Reader’s letters 7 Bookings Noel Fielding, Peter Andre and Speakeasy dates on sale 7 Latest Brighton Download Chart Who’s at number one this week? 8 Celebcity Oliver Heath, Chris Eubank and Kelly Bryan 9 Snap Shots Tattooists Tony and Dee 10 Bare Cheek Hove Factually and Chapter 2 of Nick Cave’s new novel 10 Astral Angi The stars say ‘beware!’
11 L7 INTERVIEW Mercury Prize winning hip-hop artist Speech Debelle on her ‘pain is love’ doctrine, the player father who inspired her album, and ‘not being black enough’
First things first: Latest 7 has always been known for its lively local (and sometimes controversial) columnists, and now we’re on the look out for a new one. Are you a Brightonian with a fresh perspective on city life and a strong personal voice? Send a 450 word sample column to bella@thelatest.co.uk. On the subject of good talkers, Speech Debelle more than lived up to her name when we caught up with the south Londoner just before her recent Mercury Prize win. Read our interview with hip-hop’s boldest new female voice on p11. You’ll notice we’ve got a bit of an art glut on this week, inspired by the arrival of the ever popular Brighton Art Fair (turn to p12 where you’ll find some fantastically freaky felines). And one lucky winner can win an exclusive art print by rising snapper Louie Banks, courtesy of fantastic new Brighton fashion photography mag Gang Up (p5). We also have a special extended Food & Drink section, taking in relocated seafront restaurant The Arrogant Frog (p20). Is all this failing to excite you? You obviously need our Wave feature (p29), in which we ask local NLP bods and hypnotherapists for a tip each on how to improve your positivity – and receive all manner of suggestions from choirsinging and body-positioning, to imagining Mickey Mouse’s voice in your head. Still feeling jaded? You blatantly need to become an Urban Shepherd. Phil Mills has the lowdown on the introduction of sheep to the city, and the call for volunteer Little Bo Peeps, in his weekly local news round up (p6).
12 LIFESTYLE 12 Cover feature Bag your own masterpiece at the Brighton Art Fair 13 Galleries special Where to browse and buy art locally 15 Food & Drink The Arrogant Frog and the Farmer Of The Year shortlist 23 Wave How to be positive, plus eco-friendly footwear
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Bella Todd, Latest 7 Editor
L7 Don’t miss...
30 WHAT’S ON 31 Stage The Rocky Horror Show and Vampire Rocks 32 Music and Clubs The Maccabees interviewed, plus Brighton Live 34 Art Roger Dean, cover artist to prog rockers Yes, exhibits 34 Events Rising Styles, the Brighton hip-hop festival 35 Film Bruce Willis’ new flick, Surrogates, hits the big screen 36 Comedy and Gay Rich Hall previewed 37 Reviews White Air Festival, Seperate Tables and Tim Minchin 38 Sport Tony Marks finds himself rooting for Man U 38 TV Seven-day guide to what’s on the box
Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay
Production Director Fiona McTernan Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Latest 7 Editor Bella Todd Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker Sub Editors Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell
Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Staff Writers Nick Aldwinckle (Music) Pearl Bates (Events) Jaime Pettit (Clubs)
Brighton Live 22 Sept – 3 Oct, various venus With more than 150 local bands playing everywhere from pubs and clubs to the Brighton Marina Casino, we challenge you not to catch some part of this fantastic free festival.
Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi
Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless
01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.
004_LS443_Social Diary
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9/25/09
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LATEST DIARY
Latest diary Tim Richardson snaps White Air’s windsurfing masterclass and some very glam solicitors
David Crosby, Charlie Virgo, Jacqueline D’Hazzard, Clare Johnson & Warren Moore - Crosby & Moore Solicitors
Office party Crosby & Moore Solicitors celebrated their new office opening at 75 Church Road, Hove with a gathering of friends and clients on 10 September. Mouth watering canapés laid up on mirrors were supplied by The Arrogant Frog. For more information about Crosby & Moore visit crosbymooresolicitors.co.uk
Surf school In a build up to White Air Extreme Sports and Music Festival, World Champion Windsurfer Nik Baker and brother Ant held a windsurfing masterclass at Hove Lagoon for 16 children of all ages. For information about watersports training and events at Hove Lagoon visit hovelagoon.co.uk and for more about Nik Bakers’ Windsurf Academy visit bakerwindsurfacademy.com
Martin Langley Darren Redman
Simon Lewis with Emma Taylor
Lally, Charlie & Aimi
Just The 3 Of Us Karen, Rachel & Siggi
Nick Evans Hayley Moore
Maryam - The Usual Suspects Ramona - Law Student
Nik and Ant Baker
005_LS443_Seann/Will/Comps
9/25/09
9:51 AM
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CITY SPEAK 05
Seann
Will
Seann Walsh contemplates a move to the big city
Will Harris tries not to mention the war
I
have a problem. affable chap when he’s I think I might be not forcibly re-ordering “Fritz is, quite turning into a racist. my folders. I’m It all started two weeks simply, the beginning to suspect ago, when the desk he only annoys me opposite me stopped most German because he’s German. being filled by a And that’s ridiculous. person ever” Xenophobia isn’t my succession of slackjawed interns and style. Line up everyone started being filled with I’ve ever slept with and a permanent member of staff, a it’d look like a Benetton advert (shot German named Fritz (not his real of necessity on the Great Wall of name, but if I am on my way to China, but that’s beside the point). becoming the next Enoch Powell I I’m a child of the ‘80s. Nobody is less may as well go the whole hog). racist than us. We had ‘Free Nelson Fritz is, quite simply, the most Mandela’ at Number One. German person ever. Blond and stout, National stereotypes are illogical with thin lips and thick lenses, he anyway. Nobody believes that every sharpens pencils constantly and Eastern European is a smack addict says things like “I bid everyone good or all the Italians – Berlusconi evening, and will see you tomorrow notwithstanding – are pastaat 9.30am sharp” in clipped Bavarian gobbling sexpots. Of course not, but tones. All the poor chap needs is a when we encounter someone who pith helmet and he wouldn’t look out fills their pigeonhole so snugly, can of place chasing Indiana Jones up a we be blamed for reacting? mountainside. I can only conclude that TV is to Oh, and the urgency with which blame. After decades of exposure to eveything has to be done; I’m sure ham SS officers and character actors that’s a German thing too. He frantically ‘not mentioning the war’ in telephones my colleagues and barks front of our straight-laced Rhineland things like “It is imperative you send cousins, I have simply been me the image by 5pm today. This is a conditioned to find German people matter of grave urgency. The annoying. Pavlov’s dogs drooled Bundestag itself is at stake.” Alright, I when the dinner bell rang; I’ve been made that last part up, but he did programmed to run for cover at the send my boss an email the other day faintest whisper of “Eins Zwei Drei!” offering to resign because he’d got a I just hope there’s a cure. I’d be font size wrong. willing to do anything to nip this All these traits I find unbearably worrying development in the bud, annoying, which is odd because he’s anything at all. Except no sex please a good worker and generally an – I am British, after all.
will soon be moving to London. be, there's nowhere better. The air is That's a sentence in regular use clean. The atmosphere is relaxed and around Brighton, the rest of the the people are happy. London can't country and the rest of the world. quite be that. There's too much Driven, ambitious, competitive types competitiveness. Even somewhere as improve their hometowns by leaving, convivial as Brick Lane is still full of while the capital swells with dreampeople so fiercely trendy as to throw chasers and money-hunters. you off your stride. If they bothered to Brighton does not offer such a notice anything as peripheral as haven for the ambitious. It's a place other people, they'd look down on me. that helps realise your ambitions in This is the place where they keep the the same way that alcohol solves people they scrape off the covers of your problems: however much it feels fashion magazines. like it's working, it's illusory. So, I'm not leaving Brighton in Brighton is the best place in the some twisted drive for success. How country to have a could I possibly leave hobby. Whether it's somewhere I love so “Brighton helps much for something juggling, music or magic, you can do it as trivial as a career? you realise here, without No, I'm leaving for the affecting your job at ambition in the sake of leaving. American Express. In Change for its own London, hobbies are same way that sake is healthy. Oh, business. It's the I'll also be living in a alcohol solves land of goals and boat. And however five-year plans. much I love Brighton, your problems” Everybody wants to it's unforgiveable to be the best at what turn down the they do. They want huge salaries, opportunity to live in a boat. second homes and second cars. In But for now, life is all about Brighton, everybody wants to go for a Brighton. For the next few weeks, I'll coffee. In London, everyone wants to behave like a tourist in my home get ahead. In Brighton, everyone town: taking photos and staring at wants to get off their head. everything. I might even go to the Of course, these are Pier. It's the best city in the country. generalisations. Sentimentality leads Few other places are cosmopolitan us to generalise and think in without being menacing. We live in a archetypes. And I feel sentimental city where kids are more likely to be about Brighton. I love this city. The packing a ukulele than a knife. North Laine is home to me. Of all the Brighton, I love you. London: you've places in this country to sit and just got a lot to live up to.
I
Fancy yourself as the next Seann or Will? Latest 7 is on the look out for a new Brighton voice. Send a 450 sample column to bella@thelatest.co.uk
COMPETITIONS
WIN!
THE PERFECT DATE: DINNER AND SIMON AMSTELL
Treat your squeeze to free comedy and cuisine on Monday 12 October: we’re giving away two tickets to Simon Amstell’s best-selling show ‘Do Nothing’ at the Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, as part of the Magners Comedy Festival. And to make it even more special we’re throwing in a delicious pre-show two course meal, including a bottle of house wine, at accessible and informal restaurant TABLE in Jubilee Square. Visit brightoncomedyfestival.com for more great nights out.
Q Where is Simon Amstell performing his show ‘Do Nothing’?
THE FAME! SOUNDTRACK Get yourself in the mood for the remake, in cinemas this weekend, with a CD of the soundtrack featuring Sam Sparro and Santigold. Q Who directed the original 1980 film?
AN EXCLUSIVE ART PRINT WORTH OVER £300 To celebrate the launch of gorgeously edgy Brighton fashion and photography mag Gang Up, we’re offering you the chance to win this stunning piece by rising teen photographer Louie Banks – signed, mounted, and completely unique. The image is part of the ‘Suburbia’ series, shot in Hangleton for the current issue of Gang Up. “The idea came from walking through Hangleton and seeing each bungalow with a differently pruned front yard,” says Louie. “We shot it there, asking permission as we went from lawn to lawn”. Visit gangupmagazine.com for more info Q In what area of East Sussex was this shot?
TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the Competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 12 October.
006_LS443_newsphil/Council 1
9/24/09
4:29 PM
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06 LATEST NEWS
L7 News
7
days of headlines with Phil Mills
Car Free Day was a peaceful hit, bin fury reaches fever pitch, and Brighton’s wannabe Little Bo Peeps are set to have a field day
W
e’ve gone from noisy roads to quiet streets in the last few days, and now we can look forward to the silence of the lambs. The noisy roads were caused by the highly successful White Air extreme sports festival, which drew the crowds to the seafront. But alongside the many compliments came a few moans about the £35 tickets. It was a case of Wow! and Ouch! The silence came with the Car Free Day, which reclaimed city roads for a while and made walking through the city more than pleasant. You could take your eyes off ground
level and the threatening traffic and move them upwards to admire the architecture – and for once escape those ugly city rubbish bins. Talking of which, it has been confirmed that complaints about
Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears joins the electric revolution
O
ne of the key priorities for me as Council Leader is to help transform Brighton and Hove into a low carbon city. It is, therefore, very exciting to report this week that we are going to be introducing electric car charging points on the city's streets – we’re the first council outside of London to do this. We will be installing four charging points over the coming weeks – two each in Bartholomews, central Brighton and Ditchling
poor bin collection service reached almost 10,000 in a year. To be fair, the guys on the whole do a great job but it’s when you look at your council tax bills that you shudder and wonder whether you are getting value for money. Local taxes, while on the subject, should be on the way down when one considers that city unemployment is higher than the national average and many people are finding it tough to make ends meet. Instead, we see the council spending 1.4 million on new puffin crossings and on signs telling people how to cross a road. Its purpose is all well and good, to make crossings safer, but is the timing right when many would prefer to see non essential expenditures cut and real tax breaks for residents and businesses? And finally, about those sheep. The city council has announced plans to bring more sheep onto council land so it can do away with lawn mowers and bring wildlife and wild flowers back to our Downland and city green spaces. More volunteer urban shepherds will be recruited to tend the animals, and anyone interested should visit brightonhove.gov.uk/lookerers. Sheep schemes have already been operating in the Wild Park at Moulsecoomb, on Bevendean Down, and in Sheepcote Valley, East Brighton. Council chiefs are looking at new schemes on Whitehawk Hill, Hollingbury Park and Waterhall. The council says that for local communities, the sheep farming will bring a real “feel good” factor. The sheep, it seems, are getting closer to the city centre and one wonders how long it will be before our woolly friends are grazing on the lawns around the Royal Pavilion. Those who clamour for the countryside would have something to bleat about.
Disagree with council spending? Fancy your own shepherding skills? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Road, near the Level – with more following by the end of the year. It seems clear to me that over the next 20 years or so, a shift to electric vehicles (alongside a move away from our reliance on fossil fuel energy generation) offers the most realistic prospect for delivering low carbon motoring. Rising oil prices and falling demand for gas guzzlers are accelerating a push by car-makers into researching and developing next-generation electric and hybrid petrol-electric vehicles. As a Council, we must be ahead of the game, facilitating this shift by providing convenient locations for people to power up their vehicles. In addition, I want us to lead by example in terms of our own Council vehicles. We currently have a hybrid Prius as the official mayoral car
latest inbox comment@thelatest.co.uk In response to your online article ‘Are there ghosts in Preston Manor?’, I was there a week ago with a group of students and it seems to be the perfect place for ghosts. I was very glad that one of the staff members went down to the kitchen with me. I’m glad that I haven’t seen or heard something special! I don’t know if I would go in it alone or at night. Kathrin, online Recent research shows that one third of UK employers received complaints about equality and diversity issues in the last year, and that's the ones who owned up to it! At local pressure group LEADER (Local Employers Acting on Diversity Equality and Race), we're calling on Brighton employers to set a new benchmark for fairer working practices. I would like to invite Latest 7 readers to the 'Profit through Cultural Integration Seminar' on Wednesday 7 October 2009, 3.15pm to 5.30pm, University of Brighton, Grand Parade. Please email claire.mitchell@ engagesolutions.org.uk for more information. Kind regards, Claire Mitchell Chair of Brighton & Hove LEADER
Never mind road rage [L7 News, 442], I had bus rage when my boyfriend and I decided to take a cheap trip to Devil’s Dyke on Saturday and had to pay £5 each bus fare for what can’t have been more than a ten minute journey. £10 to go and walk about on the downs and fly a kite for a few hours! No wonder people aren’t getting enough excercise. Georgine Luff, by email You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
and we use two electricpowered vehicles to collect recycling in narrow streets in the city centre. I am also looking at our wider vehicle fleet to see whether we can move, at least partially, to electric or hybrid models. Pic: Frank Hebbert I think that this is a really exciting development and befits our reputation as an innovative and dynamic City. Boris Johnson has led the way in London by establishing an Electric Vehicle Partnership to try to bring about a dramatic increase in electric car ownership and use in the capital. There is no reason why we shouldn’t work towards a similar revolution here in Brighton and Hove.
007_LS443_Bookings/Chart
9/25/09
1:14 PM
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BOOKINGS | CHART
L7 Bookings
07
To listen to the chart go to thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
On sale this week… Brighton Download Chart TOP 10 Latest 1 No Sharp Objects – The Wrong Kind Of Love 2 Zoe – Conquistador just as “unique and beautiful”. It completely sold out in May, so move fast.
3 No Sharp Objects – Home
PETER ANDRE
5 EVOH – I Love Brighton
Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 19 March 2010, from £23, brightondome.org/01273 709709 The tanfastic ’90s pop pin-up, now far better known for very publicly wooing, marrying and breaking up with Katie Price, plays his hometown mid-way through ‘The Revelation Tour.’ What’s he going to reveal? Just a brand new ‘mature’ album – the tabloids have already covered everything else.
6 Panos Christofi – If You Do What You Always Do...
4 Earth Below – Different View
7 Jaybee – Brokeback Mountain 8 Gordon's Alive – Taxi In 5 9 jaybee – Oskar And Eli 10 N-D-E – Incredible Machine Sixties-style rockers No Sharp Objects are still dominating the top of the chart this week, with ‘The Wrong Kind of Love’ and ‘Home’ taking numbers one and three respectively. New entry Zoe’s ‘Conquistador’ provides a spot of quality downbeat Americana at two as psych rockers Earth Below hit number four and patriotic reggae singer-songwriter EVOH simply loves the city at five.
NOEL FIELDING Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 16 February 2010 £22.50, brightondome.org/01273 709709 The half of The Mighty Boosh with more glamtastic lycra bodystockings to his name goes it solo. This is the biggest tour Noel Fielding’s ever undertaken without Julian Barrett (the latter is, apparently, too busy being trapped in a kiosk), and promises to see him “leaping round like a retro bandicoot, performing stand-up so exciting it often changes the sex of the audience watching”. This much he claims, and who wouldn’t trust a man with a different cowboy hat for every party of the season?
THE BLIND TIGER CLUB Secret location, central Brighton, 8 – 11 October £5-£12. For location details email info@theblindtigerclub.com, for tickets visit theblindtigerclub.com It was the underground hit of this year’s Brighton Festival Fringe: a backstreet speakeasy where you could play Blackjack, dance to Billie Holiday, watch bands and drink highballs. It was so good, in fact, we named it ‘Most Groundbreaking Show’ at the Latest 7 Awards. Now The Blind Tiger Club is back in a new secret central location – this time over three floors – which they promise is
TOM PAXTON Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 30 January 2010 £20, brightondome.org/01273 709709 A nice sit-down gig for the gentle American folky who just received a Lifetime Achievement Grammy for a back catalogue including songwriterly staples ‘Ramblin' Boy’ and ‘The Marvelous Toy’, which is such a cosy family classic you can now actually get it in picture book form.
THE SUNSHINE UNDERGROUND Digital, Brighton, 17 February 2010, £11, yourfutureisdigital.com (on sale Friday 1 Oct). Spiky, angular, pounding punk funk with just a whiff of nu-rave and a sniff of baggy. The Leeds four-piece have toured with Klaxons and Happy Mondays and should, here, be airing tracks from their long-awaited second album.
11 Rubber Johnny Fist 12 Rubber Johnny Trum Pet 13 BreakinBear Rebel in Chief 14 Chaos Borne Watching 15 Rubber Johnny Track 5 16 Rubber Johnny Alzheimers 17 The Mojo Fins In the Script 18 David Simnel and the Pimpernels Glycerin Tears 19 Chaos Borne The Moment 20Jim Guittard Listen to Your Voice 21 Chaos Borne I Will
22 David Simnel and the Pimpernels Run Mascara Run 23 David Simnel and the Pimpernels Flame Ignited 24 David Simnel and the Pimpernels Firebird 25 Jaybee Miles to Go 26 Caramel Jack We Could Build Skyscrapers 27 Harper Ash China Girl 28 Surrender Monkeys Go Now! 29 Freudstein Misadventure 30 The Fooley Mantras Break Away
SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
Cheeky Guides would like to apologise for the offence and undue stress caused to the former owners of the Strand Restaurant for stating in the latest edition of the Cheeky Guide to Brighton that the restaurant “went under”. We acknowledge instead that it was, in fact, sold as a going concern after eleven years of continued popularity and success.
008_LS443_Snap Shots
25/9/09
10:40
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08 SNAP SHOTS
“
We have the perfect job, although it can be stressful getting the drawings absolutely right. One of our most unusual assignments was tattooing wolverine claws on a client’s bum cheek. The biggest tattoo we’ve done so far was a Grim Reaper on a guy called Skid – that was something! We love Brighton because of its freedom and diversity, being accepted for what you are
”
Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Tony & Dee
Tony & Dee of Detone Tattoo at their base, the Usual Suspects Hair Salon in Hove. Only a woman could come between them – in this case pal Stephanie St James.
have your party here! call angi on 01273 687171 atmospheric, affordable, available friday & saturday nights – or any night amy winehouse & the kooks partied here… now it’s your turn the one-stop party spot you make the booking – we make it happen tell us what you want – we provide it all weddings, civil partnerships, birthdays, office parties, business events, hen & stag nights
call angi on 01273 687171 or email angi@thelatest.co.uk and book the venue for free* *subject to conditions
Manchester Street, Brighton
Tel. 01273 687171
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
009_LS443_celebcity
25/9/09
10:38
Page 1
CELEBCITY 09
SPONSORED BY
Celebcity with Jo Brooks Oliver Heath pops in for a coffee, Eternal singer joins BIMM, plus Chris Eubank’s £30,000 dental bill
Oliver’s dream beans
B
righton based eco-designer Oliver Heath has landed a rather hot new job. Oliver is probably best known for his TV work, making countless appearances on BBC1’s Changing Rooms, and is the host of ITV1’s current series, Dream Homes, where he travels the world to find the very best designed homes. Now father of two Oliver, alongside Britain’s Got Talent judge Amanda Holden, is fronting a new campaign for Kenco coffee. Kenco has ditched its famous “coffee bean shake” (who could forget Gareth Hunt shaking the beans?!) and has enlisted the help of Eco-expert Oliver and Amanda (who will of course provide the glamour) as Kenco introduce their new “greener” packaging. The pair will encourage the British public to go on a “packaging diet” by introducing us coffee lovers to the new, resealable packs. The Eco refill packs, I’m told, use 81% less energy in their manufacture than equivalent glass jars that are on the market at the moment. They aim to get the public to help divert 26,000 tonnes of packaging waste from landfill. Oliver popped in the office last week – yes, for a coffee – and told us how he will travel across the country to encourage people to explore a greener lifestyle.
Young vocalists’ hopes spring Eternal Brighton Music College – or BIMM as it is more widely known – has signed up three new celebrity singers to teach at the school. Ex-Eternal star Kelly Bryan, who had fifteen top 20 singles in the ‘90’s, will be joined by Sarah Jay Harley, who headlined Glastonbury as part of the super-group Massive Attack and performed on the soundtrack to The Matrix. Also coming on board is Jo Thompson, one of the UK 's leading singing and voice coaches with over 20 years' experience in the business. Her credits as a singing coach include the hit film Little Voice, starring Jane Horrocks, and the TV series Popstars The Rivals. And she’s worked with everyone from Craig David and Sophie Ellis Bextor to Steps, Liberty X and Five.
Chris says so long to his lisp Brighton celeb Chris Eubank has forked out £30,000 on a new set of teeth. The ex-boxing champion decided to invest in the brand new set to cure his trademark lisp. Chris, 43, has been backwards and forwards to Ireland where Dr Barry Buckley, a dentist who has a practice in County Kildare, fitted Chris up with his new pearly whites. I’m told the process was quite labour intensive and took a whopping three months to complete with still one more visit to go, with procedures including the closing of a gap at the front of Chris’ existing teeth. Having seen the new set in the flesh, I can report that they are truly a sight to behold and, yes, the lisp seems to have gone. It has, though, been replaced by a sexy little whistle!
SPOTTED! I popped along to the White Air Festival on Saturday afterno on and spotted,amongst the skater and BMX boys, none other than ex-T hin Lizzy member Gary Moore. Gary was with his gorgeous girlfriend watchin g another guitar legend – ex-Smith Joh nny Marr – play with The Cribs on the main stage.
Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com
10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of November 2009 excluding Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers
10
9/25/09
11:21 AM
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ONLY JOKING!
Bare cheek Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
HOVE FACTUALLY
5
more facts you didn’t know about fantabulous hove
Blatchington Mill did not, despite local lore, derive its name from the windmill that once stood there. It was in fact named in honour of Sir Blatchington Mill (cousin of John Stuart), who introduced STDs to Hove. “Hove” is also the name of a board game designed by the same duo who invented “Kensington,” the now largely forgotten game that was widely tipped to rival Chess in popularity. “Hove” involved seventeen counters, an 89 sided die, a board pattern abstracted from the town’s grid system, and certain death for both players.
Singer/songwriter and Eurovision runner-up, Lynsey de Paul, now lives in a shed with collaborator Mike Moran at the North Nevill allotments that, touchingly, they have christened “Rock Bottom”. Lynsey and Mike’s shed
5
Time Travel was outlawed by Hove Council in 1978. And again in 1457 and 3125.
We continue our exclusive serialisation of Nick Cave’s latest novel
In • Billy Carter • Betty Ford • Randolph Churchill • George Obama • Euan Blair
Out • Terry Major-Ball • Tony ‘Scouse Git’ Booth • Roger Clinton • Mark and Carol Thatcher • William Straw
An occasional series in which we struggle to remember the original, simple, once common terms that have been abandoned in favour of ghastly, overblown, crass, managerial Americanisms.
Chapter two trewth!” Bunny was dead all right. He opened his eyes. He was in a place of utter, velvet blackness. “Hello? Anyone there?” Silence. Was this heaven? If so, then where were the Sheilas? Was it hell? In which case, where were the Sheilas from ‘Sheila's Wheels’? Heh heh heh.
Nope. There was nothing. No sound. No light. No CDs – like, for example, Nocturama, or Dig Lazarus Dig!!! by Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds, available in all good record shops. Heh heh heh. But wait. What was that distant noise? “What are you doing lying on the floor, you stupid bleeder?” It was the maid. She removed the hand towel from Bunny’s head.
Astral Angi
This week Astral is all woe and warnings
★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}
Special world leaders’ embarrasing relatives edition
What we used to say
The Death of Bunny Monroe
“S
In & Out
2
3 4
1
The speed limit in Hove for all vehicles and on all streets (residential or non-residential), as
rigidly applied by its legion of traffic police and battery of speed cameras, is Mach 3.
010_LS443_cheeky/stars
WHAT WE SAY NOW: “Incentivize”
(BY THE WAY, IF THEY MAKE A FILM OF THIS WE SHOULD GET KYLIE TO PLAY THE PART OF THE MAID.) Next week: chapter three
A verb, meaning to give incentive. "This bill will help incentivize everybody to solve that part of the problem" (Richard A Gephardt). WHAT WE USED TO SAY: Spur, urge or encourage
BARDSLEY’S WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
Arians at this time should be wary of people in dark glasses, small dogs, effervescent vitamin drinks, tinned custard and lard. Do something wild this weekend: shave your head.
Cancerians should be wary of people wielding sharp or blunt instruments, in fact, avoid string instruments and woodwind too. Do something bold: shave your eyebrows.
★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}
Librans at this time should be wary of seeming too smarty pants. I know, it’s not going to be easy, you all love to be right, but this week why not try being wrong just for a change.
★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}
★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}
★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}
★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}
★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}
★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}
★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}
★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}
★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}
Taureans at this time should be wary of nuns, Elastoplast, soap, soap operas, operas and operations. Do something wild this weekend:propose marriage to a stranger. Geminis at this time should be wary of horologists, horror stories and horoscopes. I know that may seem strange but right now Gemini I am your worst enemy. Grrrrrrrrrr.
★CANCER {June 22–July 22}
Leos at this time should be wary of fleas. These small pests are particularly attracted to Leos and the ensuing bits can be very painful. This weekend burn all your soft furnishings. Virgos at this time should be wary of all forms of intimate encounters. So no change there, eh, Virgo, simply carry on as usual. This weekend: book in for a Brazilian.
Scorpios at this time should be wary of becoming involved in any nefarious activity. Your natural ability to appear guilty could be your downfall this week, so stay home. For Sagis, any form of warning is immaterial. Keep quiet, keep calm, keep up, keep still, keep right on till the end of the road, and above all keep dry, you know what I mean.
Capricorns at this time should be wary of Afro Carribean restaurants. You may well be being cosmopolitan but this is no time to be currying favour with people who curry goat. Aquarians at this time should be wary of almost everything and everyone. The world as Aquarius envy big time right now so try keeping it under your hat just for a week. Pisceans at this time should be wary of red meat. Try the all fish diet – cod, huss, plaice, sole, haddock. The very brave should ask Roy at Bardsley’s to show you his skate knobs.
011_LS443_interview
9/24/09
4:06 PM
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L7 INTERVIEW 11
FIGHTING TALK
Mercury Prize-winner Speech Debelle chats to Bella Todd about choking herself up on stage, the problem with having a Scorpio for a dad, and being a black woman whose music ‘isn’t black enough’
“I
n south London we have a food shop called Morley’s,” says Speech Debelle. “You can get, like, two pieces of chicken and chips for £1.99. Most hip-hop is Morley’s. My hip-hop is like if you go to – what’s that guy? Heston Blumenthal? Yeh, my hip-hop is what you get if you go to The Fat Duck and get a taster menu. And that’s what I’m gonna do if I win the Mercury!” Judging by our calculations, the 26-year-old rapper, otherwise known as Corynne Elliot, must be elbow deep in green tea mousse, quail jelly and liquorice-poached salmon right now. On 8 September she really did scoop the Mercury Prize, becoming both the first black artist to win in six years, the first woman to win in seven, and the first hip-hop artist to win since, well, ever. Currently finding its way into record collections which a gong-less south London rapper could never hope to reach, Speech Therapy is an album full of unexpected textures – brushed drums, jazzy acoustic guitar, soaring violins and spongey double bass. But it’s also an oddly old-fashioned affair for a hip-hop debut – more Arrested Development than Jay Z. “I couldn’t stick a song like ‘Daddy’s Little Girl’ over a Dr Dre loop or a hip-hop sample,” says Speech. She’s speaking to us during a rowdy night out with her mates in Clapham Common, just a few days before her Mercury win, and you can just sense her excitement over the background buzz. “Emotive words need emotive music – and the words I’m writing’s like tears – that’s what I’m doing, I’m crying in these words. So I think of the instruments that would make you cry too.” When Speech was 19, she got the words ‘pain is love’ tattooed on her wrist. Did it hurt? Damn right it hurt, it hurt like hell. But that was kind of the point. Much of her album tells of the empty bellies, druggy
heads and encounters with wannabe Tony Montanas she experienced during a sojourn on the streets: she spent the years from 19 to 23 living in hostels and skirting the law, a time which now feels so unreal to her that “performing those songs is like putting in a DVD.” But ‘Daddy’s Little Girl’ is the lump-in-throat peak of her set, dealing as it does – with all the courageous intimacy of her heroine Tracy Chapman – with her love-hate feelings for her largely absent father. She’s not sure whether or not he’s heard it.
“‘Urban’ has no real meaning. It’s a term created for black music to make it easier for white people to say” “My dad is a Scorpio,” she says by way of an explanation. "He’s a player. He’s a good lookin’ man – has everything about him that says ‘I’m way too smooth to care’. “That song and the title track take a lot to perform and they always make me end up on a serious comedown like I’ve been doing coke for five days. Because I’m saying things on those tracks that I’m only realising the truth of right now.” Writing with your heart so firmly in your mouth that you choke yourself up on stage might seem like the epitome of keeping it real. But when you’re a black artist, Speech has found, there seem to be other criteria. “I think
some people don’t think my music is black enough,” she says. “Like MTV Base, they wouldn’t play my song ‘Better Days’. That station is selling blackness: the attitude, the clothes, the walk, the talk, and clearly I’m not black enough for them. “But then other times in the music industry it’s like you’ve got to tone it down. Like Sugababes: you got one black one, one asian one, one white one. ‘Urban’ has no real meaning, seriously. It’s a term created for black music to make it easier for white people to say.” But Speech hasn't fought her way from Morley'sflecked pavements to the Mercury podium just to pander to somebody else's rules. So next album it'll be out with the violin and in with the orchestra. "I'm gonna take it back to Ray Charles, like I was on Motown Records in the 1960s," she says. "People got bills to pay right now, it’s a recession, they ain’t got money to waste on bulls**t: I'm going to give them lushness, not cheap samples”. As for the other kind of bulls**t, Speech, as you've probably gathered, has no problem fronting up. “I remember reading about that thing, ‘fight or flight’," she says. "It’s something chemical that happens within us to do with our adrenaline – know what I’m saying? Sometimes it makes us freeze and stand still when something happens. Sometimes it makes us able to lift up a car and things like that. Right now I feel like I could lift up a car." Speech Debelle plays Brighton Coalition, Kings Road Arches, Brighton on 8 October. drinkinbrighton.co.uk /brightoncoalition
012_LS443_BAF
12
9/24/09
4:16 PM
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BRIGHTON ART FAIR
Angela Lizon – Colossal Cats
L7 COVER FEATURE
Masterpiece Brighton Art Fair returns featuring exciting and eclectic pieces from talented artists
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Alexander Slatter – Storm Waves
ow in its sixth year, the highly acclaimed Brighton this adds to the personal and relaxed feel and also means Art Fair returns this autumn to the beautiful Corn that visitors aren’t too visually over stimulated! Visitors Exchange building in the heart of the city. love the variety of the art and feedback in 2008 was Showcasing over 120 contemporary artists and attracting fantastic – many saying it was the best year ever. The a capacity audience of over 5,000 visitors, the fair has pressure is really on to produce another top quality fair!” built a strong reputation for exhibiting exceptional quality Painters, printmakers, ceramicists, photographers and artwork in a welcoming, friendly environment. sculptors will be exhibiting, chosen in a rigorous and Brighton Art Fair is the largest single visual art competitive selection process to represent the most exhibition on the South Coast. Year on year sales growth exciting and eclectic work across as wide a variety of has exceeded expectations with over half a million methods and subjects as possible. Brighton Art Fair is pounds worth of art being sold last year, not including almost unique in that the artists themselves sell their the commissioning work which inevitably arises from work direct to the public, bringing a personal feel to such events. viewing and to the buying process. Visitors enjoy meeting Organised by Jon Tutton and local artist Sarah Young, the artists and learning about their creative inspirations, Brighton Art Fair is once again promising to be a not-totechniques and future projects. Charlotte Hardy – Brighton Café be missed event. The fair is delighted to welcome Creative Art Futures for Jon says: “This year we were totally overwhelmed by the first time in 2009. This not for profit organisation the number of applicants we had to the fair. The quality and originality of the bridges the community arts and the professional arts sectors providing work was so impressive, and we reluctantly had to turn away a large number marginalised artists and writers the opportunity to network, exhibit, publish simply because of limited space. We like to keep the fair on a smaller scale as and sell their work at the highest levels. Creative Art Futures raises the profile of individual artists/writers and the organisations they access, whilst challenging public stereotypes of marginalised people. Brighton Art Fair provides a stress free and informal way to buy art and Brian Hodgson – Light Undercurrent has introduced many people to purchasing original art for the first time, with many coming back every year to add to their collections. A fully licensed café with food by The Secret Restaurant provides space for refreshment and reflection. The café area will also feature a video box with innovative short films by University of Brighton, Faculty of Arts and Architecture graduates and students. Brighton Art Fair, Corn Exchange, Church Street, Brighton, 1–4 October. The Private View takes place from 6–8.30pm on Thursday 1 October. This is the chance to view all artwork before the doors officially open to the public and to enjoy a glass or two courtesy of Barefoot Wine. Tickets for the Private View cost £10 (email pv@brightonartfair.co.uk) or can be bought on the door (space permitting). Tickets for the rest of the weekend are available on the door priced £5 (children under 14 free). Entrance includes an exhibitor catalogue. Visit brightonartfair.co.uk for full information and details of special offers.
013_LS443_Saffron
9/23/09
4:14 PM
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GALLERIES SPECIAL 13 Saffron director Simon Honey has found that, increasingly, collectors from outside of the local area are visiting the gallery having first explored the website: “More and more, collectors find a particular piece on our site and then travel to the gallery to see it in the flesh. There are no surprises as we publish images and all prices and dimensions on our website, but nothing can beat seeing a piece in person to appreciate its texture, tone and depth.”
Battle spoils Saffron Art Gallery takes a threedimensional approach to artwork The Saffron Art Gallery in Battle continues to attract the attention of both art collectors and the South East’s top artists. It was featured here just a few weeks ago, but attention is turned to them once again as they prepare for the Brighton Art Fair. The renowned Celia Allen, a member of the Rye Society of Artists (RSA), has recently been added to Saffron’s stable of artists, and now, Saffron moves further into the field of ceramics and sculpture to broaden their offering and further diversify into 3D. The introduction of Anna Keiller’s (also an RSA member) torsos in 2008, and later expansion of her range, has proven extremely successful, and Saffron plans to build on this for the future. Saffron’s full collection can be viewed either in person or via the internet as they feature their complete catalogue of works on their website and house more artwork in their recently extended gallery.
Battle is less than an hour’s journey from Brighton, but city residents will also have the chance to see six of Saffron’s artists at this year’s Brighton Art Fair. Jane Skinner, Alison Trask, Cathryn Kemp and Brighton artists Luella Martin, Diane Rogers and Chrissy Guest will all man the Saffron Gallery stand at various times throughout the fair. All are accomplished, successful artists, who have exhibited widely throughout the UK and, in some cases, Europe. Each present a snapshot of the diverse selection of contemporary artwork available at Saffron Gallery. Visit Saffron on Stand 26 of the Brighton Art Fair, Corn Exchange, Church Street, Brighton on 1–4 October; Saffron Art Gallery, 59-60 High Street, Battle, TN33 0EN. 01424 772 130/saffrongallery.co.uk
014_LS443_Inkd/art@5
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9/24/09
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GALLERIES SPECIAL
Take five Pay a visit to the vibrant Art At Five gallery or have them bring the artwork to you
Cutting edge Fresh and exciting artwork is showcased at the ever-popular Ink_d Gallery & Studio Tucked away in Brighton’s popular North Laine, Ink_d Gallery & Studio continues to bring together the cream of collectable and affordable art. With an ethos that supports and nurtures local artists alongside the more well known and established ones, the gallery shows a diverse range of painting, prints, sculpture and ceramics with an emphasis on the cutting edge. The gallery has been open for two years now. In that time it has been host to solo exhibitions from artists such as the godfather of pop Sir Peter Blake, Stanley Donwood (Radiohead artwork) and Modern Toss (cartoonists), whilst also showcasing a selection of fresh and exciting work ‘Upstairs@Ink_d.’ Ink_d Gallery & Studio, 96 North Road, Brighton. 01273 645 299/ink-d.co.uk
Art At Five is a contemporary Brighton-based gallery exhibiting original artwork by local, national and international artists. The gallery showcases a unique collection of paintings at affordable prices. The extensive selection ranges from abstract expressionism to impressionist landscapes and vibrant floral scenes. Art At Five offer a free home and business consultancy service. Their experienced and professional staff can bring a selection of artwork to you to view in situ and offer practical and creative advice on choosing and placing artwork to complement your surroundings. Art At Five is an established member of Own Art, Arts Council England's interest free loan scheme. Art At Five, 5 Bartholomews, Brighton. 01273 774 22/ artatfive.com
Top: Philippe Aird – Chasing Rainbows Bottom: Kim Anderson – Fantasy
015_LS443_Intro-Due South
9/24/09
4:33 PM
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FOOD&DRINK 15
TOP OF THE POTS The Good Food Guide 2010 recognises Brighton’s best, says Andrew Kay
T
ake a look at a range of food guides over the last ten years and you could be forgiven for thinking that almost all operate with a map that excludes Brighton and much of Sussex. For some reason they simply did not see the amazing advances that have been made here by restaurants and food producers alike. To be fair, one or two places have won some well earned accolades, but it has never seemed to be a full picture of the food offered in the city. The new 2010 edition of The Good Food Guide certainly re-dresses that with no fewer than 11 Brighton and Hove restaurants listed, and amongst those, some of my favourites. Drakes has been a foodie destination from day one, but since chef Andrew MacKenzie took over as head chef under their own brand, things have gone from strength to strength, and the guide recognises that achievement by rewarding them the highest scores in town. Due South were pioneers of the whole local produce movement in restaurant terms, way before every purveyor of food thought of adding it to their claim. Their inclusion is a well earned accolade, and they continue to grow in stature. I certainly expect to see more from them year on year. The Forager in Hove does what it says on the tin, and forages. Not for everything but for a lot of what they include on their exciting seasonal and local menu. From the outside it may seem like a pub but the food on the plate says excellence and innovation. Hotel du Vin simply delivers in terms of excellence. Bistro food, regional produce and an enviable wine list makes this one of the city’s most popular places to dine in elegance. There are seven more, and if the trend is set, then next year I expect to see 14 and perhaps a few of those absent Michelin stars. I for one think there is cooking in Sussex that certainly deserves higher recognition, and thanks go to ‘Which?’ for setting things straight.
Southern comforts Award-winning restaurant Due South keeps it local with ethically-sourced delicacies Michael Bremner, head chef of Brighton’s beachfront restaurant, Due South, is passionately committed to creating sophisticated food with uncompromised integrity. The restaurant only uses seafood from sustainable sources, and insists on wild, organic and free-range ingredients from local artisan producers. Due South has been awarded a number of accolades, including ‘Best Seaside Restaurant’ in Britain by The Observer Food Monthly; a prestigious AA Rosette, and the Sussex Sustainable Business Award 2007/2008. The popular restaurant has grown to include inhouse weddings and civil partnerships, as well as an award-winning outside catering, events and festivals team. They are open daily for lunch and dinner (12–3.15pm and 6–9.45pm). Due South, 139 Kings Road Arches, Brighton, BN1 2FN. 01273 821 218/ duesouth.co.uk
016_LH443_Ads
16
9/23/09
3:21 PM
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017_LS443_Foragers/drakes
24/9/09
17:27
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FOOD&DRINK 21
Hunter-gatherers The search for good food is over as The Foragers deliver a mouth-watering menu
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s finalists for both the “Best eating experience” at the Sussex Food & Drinks Awards for the second year running, and “The best new kids on the block award 2008” at the Brighton & Hove Business Awards, The Foragers are making quite a name for themselves as Hove’s favourite gastro pub. Now in it’s third successful year, this relaxed and welcoming pub is run by coowners Rebecca Misich and Paul Hutchison, whose hard work has turned this once neglected establishment into one of Hove’s leading eateries. They met while working at The Saint in Kemp Town, and have an impressive CV between them. Rebecca was sous chef at
Blanch House and Due South; Paul was general manager at Koba and the manager of London’s famous Groucho Club. The deliciously varied menu changes regularly to reflect the seasons, with dishes to suit all tastes. These include pan-fried line caught sea bass fillet with saffron fondant potatoes, sorrel butter, and marsh samphire; Sussex ribeye steak, goose fat potatoes, with Sussex blue butter; plum and melilot steamed pudding with plum syrup and ice cream. The organic Sunday roast also proves an ever popular choice. Ingredients are locally foraged wherever possible, uncovering delights such as wild chervil, wood sorrel, radish leaves, sea beet and wild garlic. All of their meat is freerange and organic, and reared on one local farm, while the seafood is sustainably caught off the South Coast. Cheeses and dairy produce are all locally made, and their vegetables are organic or locally sourced. The Foragers are now taking bookings for Christmas, with group bookings/parties welcome. To make a reservation/Christmas booking enquiry, or for information about forthcoming events call 01273 733134 or email theforager@yahoo.co.uk. The Foragers 3 Stirling Place, Hove. East Sussex, open 12pm–12am daily; lunch Monday to Saturday, 12–4pm and dinner Monday to Saturday, 6–10pm. theforagerpub.co.uk
Drakes’ fortune The Restaurant At Drakes receives highest score in Brighton by The Good Food Guide
T
he highly acclaimed boutique hotel, Drakes Of Brighton, has received yet further recognition for their quality and high standards, but on this occasion for their acclaimed The Restaurant At Drakes. In the recently published The Good Food Guide 2010, Drakes’ fine-dining restaurant scored an impressive 6 out of 10 – the highest rating of all restaurants in Brighton. This significant achievement is depicted by the guide as “exemplary cooking skills, innovative ideas, impeccable ingredients and an element of excitement.” Through the evident skill, flair and imagination of head chef Andrew MacKenzie, who has been at the helm of the kitchen since Drakes opened it’s doors four years ago, the restaurant has also been awarded two AA Rosettes in April of this year. General manager, Richard Hayes commented: “We are absolutely delighted to have Andrew’s accomplishments recognised so soon after the management change at the restaurant which occurred less than a year ago. Through his dedication to perfection and impeccable technique, we are proud to provide the finest dining experience to our loyal, local customers and guests, and we will continue to work towards attaining further accolades in the future.”
The Restaurant At Drakes provides superb modern European cuisine prepared with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Regularly changing menus include a gourmet five-course chef’s taster menu, three-course dinner menu and weekend lunch menu. The Restaurant At Drakes, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, drakesofbrighton.com
018_LS443_Hotel Du Vin
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9/24/09
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FOOD&DRINK
Divine dining European cuisine is served up in opulent style at Brighton’s Hotel du Vin & Bistro
H
otel du Vin Brighton is situated in the heart of the city in the famous and atmospheric North Laine conservation area. The stylish boutique hotel is furnished in classic Hotel du Vin style, as mirrored in their hotels across the country. Hotel du Vin Brighton is close to the rich variety of entertainment and unique sites Brighton has to offer. The luxury boutique hotel and bistro is also just a stone's throw from the seafront and promenade. The 38 bedrooms are housed in an opulent setting – a gothic revival where mock Tudor buildings have been erected (appropriately, by a wine merchant) on the site of an old Brighton inn. Among its many interesting features are the heavily carved staircase and bizarre gargoyles, while the original double-height hall now houses the wine bar, overlooked by the billiards and gallery. Open seven days a week for lunch and dinner, the Pub du Vin offers a menu rooted in classic European cuisine with a contemporary edge. Here you will
find simple classics that change seasonally, with head chef, Rob Carr, adding his own selections daily, all supporting the philosophy of using the finest and freshest local produce, cooked simply and priced sensibly. The extensive and eclectic wine list is a key feature of the hotel. In addition to the main wine list, which includes an impressive array by the glass, there is a small daily selection of good value wines to complement the menu. The sommelier team are always happy to give friendly, knowledgeable advice, creating a dining experience that is second to none. Neighbouring Hotel du Vin Brighton, the old Sussex Arts Club has been converted to add 11 bedrooms all with the hallmarks of Hotel du Vin. The Pub du Vin seats 22 people and offers traditional pub fayre using only the best local ingredients. A snug room seats a further 12 within the British style pub serving a large selection of fine ales and vast selection of wines. Hotel du Vin & Bistro, 2–6 Ship Street, Brighton BN1 1AD. 01273 718588, hotelduvin.co.uk
019_LS443_food
9/24/09
5:23 PM
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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 19
Food & Drink Andrew Kay reveals the shortlist for the Sussex Food & Drink Awards’ Sussex Farmer of the Year
Stars of the soil Lyn and Jenny Jenner, Nut Knowle Farm, Horam near Heathfield A former silversmith, Lyn took up farming 30 years ago. He and his wife look after 350 milking goats and a further 200 young goats. They have a huge affection for their animals, keenly advocating the health benefits of goats’ milk, as well as making around 12 kinds of goat cheese in their own dairy. They sell most of their cheese at farmers’ markets across the South of England, attending around 100 markets every single month, where they share recipe ideas with their customers and enjoy receiving direct feedback which they use to perfect their delicious cheeses.
Simon Bishop, Netherfield Place, Battle Head of Centre at Netherfield Place, part of Plumpton College, Simon commercially farms around 600 acres, including a mix of pigs, Sussex Beef cattle, sheep and arable, as well as providing training on the farm for around 150 young people and 50 disabled adults every week. The farm acts as a ‘sustainable food and farming classroom,’ and Simon is dedicated to stress-free animal husbandry, which means that the animals are organic; naturally weaned, born and reared on the farm. They are also butchered and sold from the butcher’s shop on site. Simon loves farming and enjoys seeing young people getting enthused and learning on the farm and says that everything they do at Netherfield Place has a useful purpose.
Stuart Beare, Tulleys Farm, Turners Hill, Crawley Tulleys Farm is best known amongst families in Sussex for their range of children’s farm-related entertainment, which draw large numbers of people to the farm. They run a pick-your-own and also sell their raspberries and strawberries in their farm shop. They grow a maize crop which gets harvested, but while standing, is used as a ‘maize maze’ for children to enjoy. Their large and attractively laid out farm shop and tea rooms include a wide range of British food with a major emphasis on Sussex produce, and Stuart and his family can be seen at events such as the South of England Show, promoting the message ‘eat local’.
Michael and Cathy Fordham, Bradfords Farm, Little Horsted near Uckfield The Fordhams manage a commercial farm of around 700 acres, including cereals and beef cattle. Michael is the regional board chairman of the National Farmers Union (NFU) and takes every opportunity to promote Sussex produce. He has an open farm policy and encourages people – from school children to the local Women’s Institute – to visit the farm. Cathy also goes to schools and educates students about sustainability and food. They have a farm shop on the farm selling their own meat and other local produce, and are extremely passionate about local food.
Shon and Simon Sprackling, Rother Valley Organics, Rogate Shon and his brother Simon manage a commercial farm of over 4000 acres, with a large butcher’s selling meat directly to customers, through farmers markets and to local shops. Shon gives talks to various organisations about local produce and the story behind Rother Valley Organics, which is renowned for its excellent animal welfare and good husbandry. He works with other local producers putting meat into their products, including the local brewery for beef and ale pies. Their butchering and cold store is the largest in the area and many other local producers use it to get their meat to market.
Helen and Rod Marsh, Middle Farm, Firle near Lewes Helen and Rod run a busy commercial farm alongside an equally successful shop, cider press, family entertainment and public events programme. They hold a farmers market each month with stallholders selling their local produce, they sell milk from their dairy herd in their farm shop, alongside other tasty local food and they encourage people to bring in their own home-grown apples for pressing. Their attractions are all farmrelated and help education and inform the public about local farming. Vote now at sussexfoodawards.com
020_021_LS442_arrogantfrog
20
9/23/09
5:15 PM
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FOOD&DRINK
The joint is jumping Never one for standing still, The Arrogant Frog’s Rosario Guarneri is taking the restaurant on to the next level
A
nyone who has ever met Rosario Guarneri will know that his passion for food and for service is ‘formidable’. His career in catering is long and varied: he has cooked and managed a wide range of eating establishments and along the way gathered a reputation for fine food and excellence of service. Earlier this year he seized an opportunity to move his successful restaurant, The Arrogant Frog, from Hove to a prime Brighton seafront location. It was a bold move but one that proved massively successful this summer, attracting both locals and tourists alike with its sensibly priced brasserie style menu, relaxed atmosphere and great service. It also attracted many of his long standing regular clientele and, although they loved the new venue and great prices, they did hanker after the signature classic French cuisine that has always been at the heart of The Arrogant Frog. ‘‘The move to Kings Road has given us the opportunity to become a far more commercially successful restaurant, and with that success I am now able to reintroduce those dishes that my regular customers have come to love,” says Rosario. “The Brasserie will continue to offer the very successful new menu throughout the day but in the evening we will be adding a blackboard menu of seasonal classic French cuisine, some of it traditional and
some of it reflecting new movements in the world of cooking. With this we will be able to cater for all tastes and for all pockets. I have always believed in giving customers what they want and that is where we are right now. ‘‘I am utterly convinced that here in Brighton and Hove and across the county we have
restaurants and chefs that are cooking at a standard that would challenge many of the top rated chefs in the UK. The recently published Good Food Guide is evidence of that. Brighton is at the heart of all that and I am full of praise for the great chefs at restaurants like Seven Dials,
The chef, the manager and a list of references that reads like a who’s who of fine dining
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ew restaurant manager Bart Kosiski joins the Arrogant Frog team from London. “I first discovered my passion for catering around eight years ago. In that period I became a big fan of Mr Gordon Ramsay. I was lucky enough to be able to spend almost three years working for him in the Michelin-starred restaurant Maze, after only six months of it being open, and also at The Savoy Grill under Marcus Wearing. “I also had a short period working for Mr Albert Roux in Sofitel St James. Around two years ago I got my first general restaurant manager position in the boutique, four and a half star hotel, Mandeville, in the heart of Marylebone. After one year there I received a first rosette star and Top Table award for outstanding service. My future is
most definitely in catering and my dream is to one day open my own restaurant and receive a Michelin star.” Chef Adam Felipe Tapia has been working for Peter Woods, who had previous experience with Pierre Koffman at the famous La Tante Claire as a sous chef and in the same role at The Belvedere. ‘‘In my time with Peter I learnt a lot about maximising flavour, using seasonal produce and also a great deal about training staff members and motivating them to get the best from them. ‘‘Before that I was with chef Raymond Patterson who has been a great mentor to me, helping me to discover what I like to put on a plate in terms of flavour and presentation. I learnt to become very strong in such a fast-paced kitchen.
‘‘In my time working for Anton Edelmann at Allium, I learnt about balancing flavours; not overpowering ingredients, and tasting absolutely everything. I also learnt the importance of staying cool under pressure and working in a very positive frame of mind.’’
020_021_LS442_arrogantfrog
9/23/09
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FOOD&DRINK 21
THE ARROGANT FROG BRASSERIE Gourmet Night – Thursday 17 November 2009 Five-course gourmet menu – £50 (To include selected glasses of wine with each course) Glass of champagne on arrival Amuse bouche Orange and fennel soup Starters Beetroot and goat’s cheese salad or Ham hock and foie gras terrine, grape chutney and toast or Tagliolini with crayfish, rocket and balsamic reduction
THE ARROGANT FROG BRASSERIE CHRISTMAS DAY MENU
THE ARROGANT FROG BRASSERIE NEW YEARS EVE MENU
Four courses – £45
Five courses – £65
Chicken liver and foie gras terrine with grape chutney and toast or Crab tian with tomato consommé and caviar or Oxtail tortellini in a chicken broth or Fennel and orange salad with toasted hazelnuts
Selection of canapés and champagne on arrival
***** Sorbet *****
Sorbet Refreshing sorbet of the day Mains Braised belly of pork with pickled red cabbage and water chestnuts or Pear and young pecorino cheese risotto or Seared cod with smoked potato and red wine sauce
Roast turkey, roast potatoes, stuffing and brussel sprouts or Lobster thermidor or Lamb navarin with herb mash or Truffle and herb risotto
Amuse bouche Celeriac and truffle soup Starters Honey roast quail with a warm toasted pine nut and apple salad or Ravioli of lobster with cherry tomato veloute or Beetroot and goat’s cheese salad with pomegranate molasses Mains Beef Wellington with peppercorn sauce or Steamed wild sea bass with saffron broth and caviar or Chargrilled vegetable tian with carrot puree
*****
Desserts Chocolate and hazelnut parfait and blood orange and mint salsa or Pistachio cheesecake with strawberries three ways or Apple feuillete with vanilla ice cream
Christmas pudding with clotted cream and brandy sauce or Selection of cheeses or Double chocolate and pistachio brownie with banana ice cream or Strawberry tart with balsamic reduction
Gingerman, Whites in Steyning and many more. We have a fantastic food offer here on the South Coast and I and my team at The Arrogant Frog want to be a part of that.’’ Rosario’s passion doesn’t stop there. Whilst constantly working to make his restaurant better he is also actively campaigning to improve standards in catering at all levels. He is an advocate of apprenticeships, in both the kitchen and front of house, and he sees quality of training in the catering and hospitality industry as one of his
prime aims. He also wants to lay down the gauntlet to some of the UK’s celebrity chefs and challenge them to match the quality of the best chefs in Sussex. With his determined attitude they will no doubt give in to his cries and we hope to see a major event of that kind in the very near future. But above all, it is exciting news that at The Arrogant Frog we will be seeing the return of classic French cuisine at its best. The Arrogant Frog, 64 Kings Road, Brighton, 01273 721488.
Cheese Selection of cheeses Desserts Hot chocolate fondant with a peanut ice cream or Lemon and vanilla crème brûlée or Fresh berry fool
WIN! A delicious five-course dinner for four at The Arrogant Frog Rosario Guarneri has offered a fabulous prize of a five-course dinner for four in his restaurant with a glass of wine with each course chosen by his team. All you have to do to enter is answer the following question: With what other industry is the famous Michelin Guide associated? Answers to competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘Arrogant Frog’ in the subject line, or on a postcard marked Arrogant Frog to the address at the front of the magazine. Closing date for entries: 5 October 2009.
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L7 Hotlist Feeling peckish? Insatiably ravenous? These eateries and bars cater for all tastes. For more dining options visit thelatest.co.uk Restaurants American JB’s Diner JB’s Diner is a quirky and cool nod to the classic American Diner, from the ‘50s rock’n’roll and the retro dining booths to the stars ‘n’ stripes flying proud as you eat your way through their delicious USA themed menu. The burgers are generous, fresh, tasty and available in many different varieties, the Texan BBQ and ‘Across The Border’ Mexican being firm favourites. Other top sellers include the foot-long hotdogs and rack of ribs. Add a thick dairy ice-cream shake in many flavours (including Oreo!) and we have an American diner perfect for kids and adults alike, looking out onto the very British Brighton beach. 31 Kings Road, Brighton BN1 1NR, 01273 771776, jbsdiner.co.uk
British & modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit, they do the best chips ever tasted and appear to have already acquired several celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, 9bar.co.uk
Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256
Barney’s Sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058. Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!
Preston Park Tavern A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix in this family-friendly pub. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, prestonparktavern.co.uk
The Restaurant At Drakes Nestled inside Brighton’s finest designer hotel – the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Awarded two coveted AA Rosettes through the skills and talents of head chef Andrew MacKenzie, Drakes offers exquisite cuisine with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Two-course menu for £28 or thee courses for £36. Five course chef’s menu £50. Private dining room available for parties of up to 12 people. The Restaurant At Drakes, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, drakesofbrighton.com
Chinese Gars Restaurant This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, gars.co.uk
French The Arrogant Frog Brasserie This beautiful seafront restaurant serves French and European food at affordable prices. The menu includes a full à la carte, £10 two-course menu and daily specials. Also live music nights and happy hour cocktails between 5 and 7pm. Bring your Odeon cinema ticket receipt for a 10% discount any day and enjoy pasta and a pint for only £6.99 on Orange Wednesdays. From 5–7pm Mondays to Thursdays, receive a free bottle of house wine when two people dine from the £10 menu. On Fridays to Sundays, a
free bottle of house wine for every two diners taking two courses each from the à la carte menu. 64 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NA, 01273 721488, reservations@thearrogantfrog.com
Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. There’re also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412
New Steine Bistro This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 /11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp
L’Église Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the two-course lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, legliserestaurant.co.uk
Indian Chaula’s Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, chaulas.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The Lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national award-winning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824, thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
Italian Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, donatello.co.uk
Fat Leo The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, fatleo.co.uk
Thai Sabai Filled with stylish Thai furnishings, Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui and the restaurants of Bangkok. Browse the extensive menu of unique dishes and sample a cocktail or a bottle of wine from the comprehensive list. Thai food made with fresh, authentic ingredients – grown by the family of the restaurant’s owners. “Sanuk!” 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place, North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, sabai.uk.com, bookings@sabai.uk.com
Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
Check out Andrew Kay’s comprehensive Brighton, Hove and Sussex Food & Drink directory online at
thelatest.co.uk
Chimney House With a stylish, cosy interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu includes locally-caught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a light lunch and glass of wine or a hearty three-course dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708, chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
The Dorset A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best people-watching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of homecooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Marys are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423
Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95 and wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059
To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest Hotlist call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105
The Chilli Pickle
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Tread lightly Zara Baker finds eco-friendly footwear doesn’t mean a compromise on fashion
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hat do women want? Far too many things to list here, that’s for sure, but for all the Carrie Bradshaws out there, the latest fashionable shoes are probably near the top of the list. Meanwhile, eco-chicks want environmentally friendly footwear that looks good, too, and we would all like something that is ultra comfy – just for once. It may be an ambitious wish list, and extremely rare to find all three in one, but many retailers are keeping a close eye on fashion, while remaining on the good side of Mother Nature. Healthwise, ill-fitting shoes can be bad news for the feet – but women have always risked it in the name of fashion. The Society of Chiropodists and Podiatrists found that 37 per cent of women bought shoes that didn’t fit them during the summer sales simply because they ‘looked good’. With the compromise we make for fashion (blisters and bunions being only two common problems), it’s time to treat your feet to something better. Eco Sneaks are 100 per cent sustainable, manufactured using silk (natural protein fibre), organic cotton, recycled polyethylene terephthalate laces and recycled car tyres for the outer soles. Oh, and they come in a recycled box, too. The new season styles for women are bright, funky and may just convert some Converse devotees. Love-eco.co.uk is a pioneer in the eco-chic world of fashion. The Po-Zu Buto shoe is made for indoors, but we equally love wearing them outside, teamed with leggings and an oversized jumper. The boots are 99 per cent biodegradable, using natural materials free from harsh chemicals. The footmattress filler is 60 per cent coconut husk, and 40 per cent natural latex,
while the sole is 100 per cent latex. The Po-Zu slippers/boots even come in a biodegradable coconut box to grow your own seeds in! Vivo Barefoot take the concept that healthwise, we benefit from being barefoot (after all, it’s what nature intended), and provide footwear to recreate this. After all, negotiating the city streets barefooted is never going to work. Instead, their shoes have an ultra thin puncture-resistant sole, and are soft and flexible so our feet move in the way they would if we have nothing on them at all. The inner sole is shaped to encorage a natural, fluid motion with each step (think ball to heel to toe) and actively realigns your natural posture and strengthen the muscles in your feet. Every nerve ending in the body is stimulated, enhancing the individual’s sensory perception. All this from a shoe? What’s more, the range is extensive and stylish, available for both men and women. For those who love the latest shoe trends but don’t want to sacrifice comfort, swaptopshoes.com is a new website launching in October to offer different shoe uppers to fit one sole. Killer high heels can be worn with handmade padded leather soles for comfort – this already sounds too good to be true. Mark 20 October in the diary as this is when the site goes live. Care for your feet and the environment in one go: now that’s an easy habit to slip your feet into.
WAVE GIVEAWAYS YOGA2HEAR CDS
WIN!
At last! There’s an easy and cheaper way to practise yoga at home. Forget having to take in the tutor’s instructions while struggling to hold a balance as you peek at your neighbour to check your posture; Yoga2hear is the UK’s leading provider of audio yoga classes and now bring the ancient exercise discipline into your home. Founder, Sue Fuller, a leading yoga professional has taught and studied yoga worldwide. Sue believes audio yoga classes help the user focus 100 per cent on the practise without the distraction of having to watch a screen. Yoga2hear Beginner Yoga Volume 1 offers a practical introduction to Hatha yoga techniques for those with little or no previous experience. Using clear instructions, each posture is introduced and explored with the help of relaxing music during the 60-minute audio class. Yoga2hear have 15 sets of Beginners Yoga Volume 1 to give away to Wave readers, so you can now practise yoga at home at ease. For a chance to win, just send your name and address on a postcard to: Yoga2hear Wave, 60 Bridge Road East, Welwyn Garden City, Herts AL7 1JU. Closing date for entries: 31 October.
BRIGHTON SACRED MUSIC FESTIVAL TICKETS AND CDS It may be autumn, but music festivals are in full swing. Brighton is lucky enough to draw in the unique and wonderful World Sacred Music Festival from 10 to 18 October, celebrating the best of sacred music from across the globe. This year’s theme is ‘South,’ and will feature artists from Africa, India, South America and Southern Europe. With a strong focus on gypsy and flamenco traditions, this is a feast of sacred music that takes place at venues across the city, including the Friends Meeting House and Brighton Unitarian Church.
Shoes from Vivo Barefoot, terraplana.co.uk
Wave are offering three lucky readers the chance to win a pair or tickets, plus the new Festival CD, featuring the London Bulgarian Choir, Mor Karbasi and more. For a chance to win, just tell us: What is the theme of this year’s World Sacred Music Festival? Email your answer to competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘World Music‘ in the subject line. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and contact number. Closing date for entries: Monday 5 October. worldsacredmusic.org
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WHAT IS Ayurvedic Yoga massage? Emotional baggage? Dominique Blanch talks to Simon Griggs about lightening the load
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ccording to Ayurveda,” says Kusum Modak, the reclusive Indian founder of Ayurvedic Yoga Massage, “zero stress in the body is the healthiest body.” What does it mean, zero stress? “It means you that you take a little care with your diet, your exercises, drink lots of water, try to be happy, laugh quite a lot, and the most important thing is, be aware of your breathing.” Simon Griggs is tired of Ayurvedic Yoga Massage being one of the best kept health secret in Brighton, and is on a mission to spread the word about the treatment’s benefits. “It’s unique. There’s nothing quite like it. It changed my life,” he enthuses. So, one summer’s evening, Simon led me up a narrow staircase at Yoga Haven with a warm smile, and showed me into a small room with silver wallpaper and organza curtains at one end. A futon-style mattress lay on the floor in the centre of the room, flanked by small brass pots – one containing sesame oil, and the other, calamus powder. “It’s very good for the blood circulation. It brings the toxins out from the body and stimulates your mind,” explained Simon.
I’ve experienced a range of massage styles, but this was entirely a new experience for me. Rather than lying comatose and semi-conscious while the practitioner works on you, Ayurvedic Yoga Massage requires the client to participate, to be aware of their body, and to take responsibility for themselves. “I take all my cues from the client’s breathing,” says Simon, “and it really is a two-way process between the client and myself. Sometimes, if there is a lot of tension to deal with, it can be hard work.” A treatment will typically take you through about ten to fifteen poses and stretches, many of them inspired by yoga, which work towards facilitating an emotional as well as physical release. To me, the stretches felt delicious, and, placing my trust in Simon, I was able to feel the stresses and tensions literally begin to fall away. “With time,” says Simon, “you feel emotionally lighter, and more able to deal with the challenges of life.” At the end of the session, I felt about seven feet tall, serene and composed, although, says Simon, others have been knocked sideways as old tensions and issues are brought forth by the body and worked through. Even if you have a specific problem with your knee or your back, for example, the treatment works with the whole body, never just on one area. Simon, a down to earth man whose passion for his work is tempered by his gentle English nature, came across Ayurvedic Yoga Massage while studying yoga and Ayurvedic medicine in India. The inspiration he feels is evident in his face as he talks. “Ayurvedic Yoga Massage is intense,” he says. “It’s just so well researched and designed, and I want to help preserve, continue and teach the work that Kusum has begun, and make sure she gets the credit for it. She has no website, no telephone... she is so involved in what she does that she has no interest in marketing and publicity.” And then, in a whirlwind of inspiration, Simon is off again, working to bring health and happiness to his next client. Contact Simon Griggs on 07772 177 716/simonjgriggs@gmail.com ayurvedicyogamassage.co.uk
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e may be 71-years-old, but age is no barrier for Bent Henriksen. The company director recently completed the National Three Peaks Challenge – a mountain-endurance challenge where participants attempt to climb the highest peaks in England (Scafell Pike), Wales (Snowdon), and Scotland (Ben Nevis). Bent puts his impressive energy levels down to his healthy lifestyle and the high-quality nutritional supplements he has been taking for years. “Coenzyme Q10 is a necessity for this kind of physical challenge,” he says. “It's a vitamin-like substance, which basically acts like a spark plug for energising every cell in your body. I take two 100mg capsules of BioQuinone Q10 every day.” The National Three Peaks Challenge has no official rules or time restrictions, but many participants try and complete it within 24 hours, using motorised transport to travel between the mountains. Impressively, Bent managed to complete the challenge
in less than 24 hours – with just 22 minutes to spare. He says: “My motivation for doing the Three Peak Challenge was to test myself physically and mentally, and as preparation for reaching the base camp of Mount Everest, which I am considering doing next year. “I did the Three Peak Challenge with my 45-year-old son Troels and our driver Luke.“As you get older, it is very important to keep active and healthy. Walking is a great way to do this and has long been a passion of mine. As well as keeping fit and eating as healthily as possible, I take high-quality dietary supplements,
such as Bio-Quinone Q10, to boost my energy levels and keep my immune system topped up.” Bent has been taking supplements for years, including glucosamine for joints and fish-oil for mental agility, and believes he wouldn't have been able to complete the Three Peaks Challenge at the age of 71 without the boost they give his body. He says: “The Three Peaks Challenge was an amazing 24 hours. By the time we finished and dropped my son off at home in Oxford we had been on the go from
8am on Thursday to 9pm on Friday with just an hour and a half's sleep in between. “We covered 1,228 miles in the car and spent £230 on petrol. However, the most amazing thing was that we managed to complete the challenge with just 22 minutes to spare. People ask how I stay so active at 71: I put it down to Bio-Quinone Q10!” For more information about Bio-Quinone Q10 call free on 0800 591 756, email uksales@pharmanord.co.uk or visit multivits.co.uk
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Revenge Ink Books Fiercely independent provocative fiction UGLY DUCKLING For women who know that ‘to be yourself’ isn’t as easy or fashionable as they say it is…
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ON GUARD
Revenge Ink’s Amita Mukerjee on how the pen is mightier than the sword
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n 2007, after a decade-long career as an interpreter and translator in Paris, I created Revenge Ink, a new kind of publishing company. Until then, I had merely thought of being a writer and artist, a dream I’d cherished since my teens. But all that changed when I recorded the most recent part of my life (being a struggling interpreter in snooty Paris) in my first novel, Ugly Duckling and sent it out in early 2007 to publishers and agents along with my brother’s first novel, The Armageddon Mandala, a unique blend of outrageous humour, supernatural elements and profound environmental concern. When I read the responses I got, I quickly realised that big publishing companies were too afraid of taking risks. But as I saw it, without risk there could be no creativity, joy or excitement in life. How, I wondered, could you publish books without passion or whimsy? Without a feel for the chaotic and the unpredictable? Great writers like Dostoevski, the Beats, James Joyce and Samuel Beckett (among so many others) might have remained unknown if not for the enthusiastic risk-taking publishers who championed them. Then one night, while I was reading the poems of William Blake, I learned that Blake had published his own works. And that was it. The idea of Revenge Ink was born. In 2004, the beautiful documentary Mondovino highlighted an interesting dilemma: should everyone make the same kinds of wine because a few critics like them? Or should wines remain the subjective and personal handywork of their creators? Does democracy mean we must all look alike and think the same? Or does it mean, on the contrary, that we all count as we are? Individually? Warts and all? I decided to create a company that celebrated individuality, subjectivity and uniqueness. A company where writers felt safe and respected. Where they were guided not by marketing concerns but by purely artistic ones. I felt it was possible to create a business that promoted art, humanity, pleasure and yes, even prosperity. I still believe it. It has been an arduous but riveting journey. Today, we have five titles selling in Europe and Asia and next year will have more. Being a publisher isn’t easy, but I like being an entrepreneur and creating books. I continue to enjoy writing as well. Revenge Ink is living proof that nothing beats doing what you love; that freedom means enjoying your life, which necessarily involves taking risks; and finally, that artistic freedom is a mirror for individual freedom in all of society. When artists are forced to conform, all is lost. But when the pen is truly free, and every individual a hero, then the sword goes where it belongs – into the antique store. revengeink.com
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Positive thinking
It’s not always easy to look on the bright side: Zara Baker turns to the professionals
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mile and the whole world smiles with you. It sounds simple, but it’s not always easy. There are times when we all need guidance and support in our lives, whether it’s relationship issues, work problems or financial difficulties. Often, these can have a nasty knock-on effect, blurring into one, unhappy period. Life is going to throw obstacles in our path and what we think will make us happy may not be the case once we have it. Indeed, on the other side, the grass isn’t always greener. All we can do is work at techniques to be positive and upbeat, realising along the way that a positive approach to life is a step closer to happiness... NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) practitioners and local hypnotherapists offer tips on taking a more positive approach. See if they can work for you. “Nourish yourself at least once each week. Do things for yourself – not everyone who sings in a choir is the next Whitney Houston, but it can still make you feel good. Feeling good is the key here. The potential to make yourself happy on the inside by focusing on you for just one or two hours a week is immense.” Elizabeth Rose, 01723 726 549, rosylife.com “The miracle question –this is fun and takes a few minutes to bring clarity and focus. You go to bed one night, have a great nights sleep and awake refreshed. Something has happened over night – a miracle! A positive change that YOU desire has occurred. Take a few moments to consider: What would you see that is different? How do you look? What would you say to other people? What would other people say to you?How would you feel? Ann O’Keife, 01273 871524, livinglifefully.net
been putting off for a long time at home such as sorting out a store cupboard. Remember to be compassionate towards yourself and the changes that you are making.” Jonathan Conway, 01273 540425, 07956 855027, jonathanconway.co.uk “If you want to feel more positive, put your body in a really positive position – sit up, put your shoulders back, hold your head high, smile. Breathe deep into your chest and stomach. Remember a specific time when you felt really positive while you're still in this position, and allow yourself to be aware of how that feels in your body, or any pictures or sounds you associate with it. Enjoy!” Jo Wright, Phoenix Training & Coaching Ltd, 07843 052838. "Make a list of anything that's incomplete in your life, and then when you'll complete it. There's usually so much 'stuff' going on inside your nervous system that it needs a spring clean or clean out. It's a bit like washing up, nobody wants to do it... but when it's done and the kitchen’s clean, boy, what a nice feeling!" Terry Elston, NLP World Ltd Director, 01273 220897, nlpworld.co.uk “Tune out the talk show: Do you ever get that voice that says, ‘I’m rubbish at this!’ or ‘You’re too this’ or ‘You’re not enough that’? These critical internal thoughts are like a well meaning but slightly misguided radio talk show host. Get ready to change the channel! Notice the kind of things your inner critic says to you. Ask yourself, ‘Is this useful for me to hear this right now?’ Think of a voice you really can’t trust – the more daft, the better, e.g. Mickey Mouse,or someone you’ve heard with a really silly voice. Repeat the words your inner critic says in the new silly voice, out loud and with as much silliness as you can! Notice how the inner critic starts to sound different.” Viv Craske, 01273 208605, buildconfidence.info
“Write a plan of where you want to be in say 3, 6, 12 months time e.g. new job, plan a holiday or even a new house. Imagine your future becoming a brighter one, as it becomes brighter so will you feel more positive and with more energy. Make a list of things that you feel that you have achieved each day e.g. something that you achieved at work or maybe something that you have
“Presentation = Present/a(c)tion: Improve your presentation and you’ll find that the present massively improves, present meaning the now. Clear out all the negative emotions from the past although they may act as a common safety barrier. Have a positive outlook and take massive action to empower your life. Anchor your positive emotions by visualising a happy you, close your eyes, see what you’d see, feel what you’ll feel and hear what you’ll hear. Decide how much happiness you could deal with and choose a date when you can have it. Be specific!” Benjamin Bonetti, 0845 1949644, empower-your-life.co.uk
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Vrindavan, North India Oct 10–Nov 8, 2009 • Four-week intensive course
covering all aspects of Yoga with internationally recognised teaching certificate.
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STAGE 31
L7 WHAT’S ON
> Tuesday 29 September to Monday 5 October >
Stage
Love bites and fishnet tights Prepare to get your rocks off this Halloween as Andrew Kay looks forward to two hammy musical horrors, The Rocky Horror Show and Vampires Rock
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f, like me, you are old enough to have seen The Rocky Horror Show pre-movie incarnation then you will remember something very different. Before the film, the most the audience might be expected to do was take a step to the left etc. The film brought with it a fabulous new generation of fans who like to dress up and join in. They have a great time, really they do, but I have witnessed performances where the cast have struggled to assert their presence at all, let alone as the stars of the show. It may sound cruel but I prefer my Rocky Horror the old fashioned way. That said, I cannot wait to see David Badella as the celebrated Frank ‘n’ Furter when Richard O’Brien’s outrageous classic returns to Brighton. Who would have thought that anyone could match the legendary Tim Curry? But Badella – who won an Olivier Award for his unforgettable performance as Satan/Warm Up Man in Jerry Springer: The Opera and is also well-known to TV viewers as surgeon Carlos Fashola in Holby City – really does. The Rocky Horror Show tells the story of squeaky clean sweethearts Brad and Janet, who are forced to seek refuge in a castle full of the maddest, baddest and sexiest group the world has ever seen. The timeless songs include ‘Sweet Transvestite’, ‘Damit Janet’ and, of course, the classic ‘The Time Warp’.
Stagelistings > Tuesday 29 September to Monday 12 October > BRIGHTON DOME, CORN EXCHANGE 01273 709709 brightondome.org Bonachela Dance Company – The Land Of Yes And The Land Of No Choreographer Rafael Bonachela has worked alongside The Kills, Primal Scream, and Kylie Minogue, and here explores the body’s ability to give physical shape to memory, experience and emotions. > 6 – 7 Oct, 8pm, £12.50/17.50, schools £10 CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 cft.org.uk Clive James in The Evening Join the broadcaster, raconteur and general British Institution for an evening of wit, humour, opinion and anecdote. > 11 Oct, 7pm, £18/22
CRAWLEY: THE HAWTH 01293 553636 hawth.co.uk Romeo And Juliet Love&Madness present Shakespeare’s classic love story. >5 Oct, 1pm and 7.30pm, £8-£13 Bully Richard Fry’s slang-filled monologue, a Edinburgh 2008 sell-out. >8 Oct, 7.45pm, £8-£13/£11 EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 eastbournetheatres.co.uk The Grass Is Greener Classic ’60s comedy in which an impoverished English Earl risks everything when his wife falls for an American millionaire. > 5 – 10 Oct, 7.45pm, Wed & Sat Mats 2.30pm, £13.50/19.50 I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue Radio 4’s antidote to panel games arrives with a special live, not for broadcast, edition. > 6 Oct, 7.30pm, £22.50/24.50
Since premiering in 1973, the stage show has been in almost continuous production, while the celluloid version is one of the best known films of all time. So, if you must, fish out your stockings and sharpen your stilettos for the biggest, naughtiest musical around – knowing the contagious nature of the show, I will even be game for a spot of time warping myself . But be warned – this show has rude bits! The Rocky Horror Show, Theatre Royal, Brighton, 26-31 October, Mon-Thur 7.45pm, Fri & Sat 6pm & 9pm, £14.50 - £30.50 (plus a limited number of VIP seats available). 08448 717 650/ambassadortickets.com/brighton
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he Rocky Horror Show may have over 30 years’ more experience of shocking its audience, but Vampires Rock certainly has bite, with hardrocking anthems from the likes of AC/DC, Guns N’ Roses, Bon Jovi, Meat Loaf, Suzi Quatro and Queen. It’s set in New York in the year 2030, where the undead are livelier than ever – especially in club Live And Let Die, where Baron Von Rockula and The Devil Queen reside. Toyah stars as the Devil Queen, long suffering wife to Steve Steinman’s Baron Von Rockula. “My husband, the Baron, is on the look out for a new bride,” she says. “But not if I have anything to do with it! I would say ‘over my dead body’, but then I’m already dead, aren’t I?!” The new bride in question is innocent, aspiring singer, Pandora (Emily Clark), who stumbles across the club in need of a job. Cue a host of classic rock songs, played live by the Baron’s hand picked band, The Lost Boys, and plenty of comedy as the Baron and his sidekick Stringfellow (Mike Taylor) attempt to convince Pandora to lose her soul to rock and roll. Combined with pyrotechnics, dancers and Steve Steinman’s famously powerful vocals, this is sure to have you rocking in the aisles (or on your knees with your air guitar above your head!) Vampires Rock, The Brighton Centre, 31 October, 7.30pm, £26.50 /£21.50. 0844 8471515/brightoncentre.co.uk. Pick up the 13 Oct edition of Latest 7 for your chance to win a pair of tickets to the show.
EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000, eastbournetheatres.co.uk Fatal Encounter EastEnder Nicholas Ball stars in Francis Durbridge’s thriller. > 29 Sep – 3 Oct, 7.45pm, Wed & Sat Mats 2.30pm, £13.50/19.50 NEW VENTURE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 746118 newventure.org.uk Intimate Encounters Interactive performance installation. > 4–6 Oct, see website for times, £9/6.
nominated female comedy singing trio. > 4 October, 7.30pm, £16.75/21. The Hypochondriac Poet Roger McGough translates Molière’s scathing comedy about a man so absorbed by his own health that he’s blind to goings-on in his own household. > 6-10 October, 7.45pm, Thur & Sat Mats 2.30pm, £18-£30.
NIGHTINGALE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 700747 nightingaletheatre.co.uk Cabaret On A Sinking Ship Satirical cabaret-play timed to coincide with the Labour Party Conference. > 29 Sep – 4 Oct, 7pm (4 Oct 4pm), £10/8.50.
WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE 01903 206206 worthingtheatres.co.uk Amor Flamenco: Puro Authentic flamenco dance. > 2 October, 8pm, £15 Mugenkyo Taiko Drummers : The Way Of The Drum Thundering rhythms mix with delicate bamboo flutes and choreographed dance in this spectacular modern show. > 4 October, 7.30pm, £14/17, concs £1 off
THEATRE ROYAL, BRIGHTON 08448 717650 theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Spirit Of The Dance Flashy Irish dancing infused with Latin rhythms. > 29 – 30 September, £16.75/21 Fascinating Aida Multi Olivier Award-
THREE AND TEN, BRIGHTON 01273 609777 threeandten.co.uk Katy And Rach Make Stuff Up Almost exactly what it says on the tin: two award-winning actresses improvise a play in one hour. > 10 October, 8pm, £5/7
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MUSIC & CLUB LISTINGS
32
Clublistings
Musiclistings
> Tuesday 29 September to Monday 5 October >
> Tuesday 29 September to Monday 5 October >
TUESDAY 29 AUDIO Bright Young Things. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS BRIGHTON COALITION Latin Fever. Fine salsa and Latin rhythms. 10pm–2am, £3/2 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Cheese Room. Classic tunes and disco beats. 11pm–4am, £3/free NEW HERO This Exists. Fresh music for cool kids! 10pm, £2 PAVILION TAVERN Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1
LIFE Daft Life. Alt.dance, indie-leaning house and firing electro. 10pm–3am, £4/2 NEW HERO Somewhere In The Universe. Alternative electro dance party. 10pm, £5 OCEAN ROOMS Dubstep + D’n’B All Night Long! Got anything better to do this friday?! 11pm–4am, free PAVILION TAVERN Kick Out The Jams. Bringing rock’n’roll mayhem. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 VOLKS Regime. Mutilating your senses with rave, D'n'B, jungle and acid. 11pm, £tbc
WEDNESDAY 30
SATURDAY 3
AUDIO Supercharged. Freshers’ special with major breakthrough D'n'B dons, The Brookes Brothers! 11pm–2.30am, £5/3 DIGITAL The Poundance. Indie, R’n’B, electro, house, classics, dubstep and chart tracks. 11pm–3.30am, £1 PO NA NA Urban Chic. R’n’B, hip-hop, dance hall and funky house. 10pm, £2/free
BRIGHTON COALITION Blow The After Party. Lose your head to underground house, electro and techno. 3am–8am, £7/4. CONCORDE 2 Defected in The House. Beatportal's House Artist 2008, ATFC commands the crowd with huge dance floor obliterating 11pm–5am, £12 tunage! DIGITAL Pussycat Club – 80s Trash TV. Retro mayhem and Madcap MTV Icons set to an achingly good soundtrack. 11pm, £12/10 ENGINE ROOMS Born Bad. Alternative madness for glamorous girls and boys. 11pm, £5/4 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Buddha Soul. With Juice Fm’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10 HANBURY CLUB Margot's Cocktail Party. A 'Holly Golightly' inspired cocktail soiree, dolling out laid back lounge, perfect pop and diva disco! 7pm–2am, £10/8 JAM EBoogie. E-lectronic Pop. 9pm–2am, free LATEST MUSIC BAR The Scene. Brighton's newest and grooviest psychedelic night out. 9pm-2am, £5 LIFE Hold Up. Unpretentious Indie night. 11pm-4am, £5 NEW HERO It is Still 1985. Alternative ‘80s night full of adventurous tunes! 10pm, £3 OCEAN ROOMS Back To The Dance Floor. Local heroes rock out the best beats from every era. 11pm, free VOLKS Psychedelicious Student Party! A tantalising mix of treats from psytrance to breaks, prog and ElectroTek. 11pm–5am, £7/8
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AUDIO Shameless presents Quids In. 11pm, £1 BLACK LION Come As You Are. Classic rock, alternative sounds, plus unashamedly cheesy air guitar anthems. 9pm, free CONCORDE 2 Horse Power. Indie, dance, electro party launch bash with London trio Chew Lips and electro remix gurus Designer Drugs! 11pm-4am, £3 CONCORDE 2 Chase & Status Live. 7.30pm–10.30pm, SOLD OUT DIGITAL Thursday Club. Thursday club is back with bite! Beginning with the massive breaks All-Stars, Stanton Warriors. 11pm–3am, £7 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE BangBang. Playing the hippest hip-hop, the freshest dup step and the most banging D’n’B! 11pm–5am, £1 b4 12 HONEY CLUB Contagious. House and dance anthems. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1 JAM Thursday Night Fish Fry. ‘50s R’n’B and original Jamaican ska. 10pm–2am, £3. LIFE Club NME. Live NME bands and Brighton DJs. 10.30pm–3am, £2/1 NEW HERO Pop Kraft. Pop with Boogaloo Stu and The Size Zero Albino. 10pm–2am, £2. PO NA NA Secret Discotheque. Return to the ‘80s. 10pm–3am, £3/2
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FRIDAY 2 COALITION, LIFE, AUDIO, DIGITAL & FUNKY BUDDHA The Brighton Seafront Freshers’ Festival. Five clubs, seven arenas, one wristband. Monster deck dominators, Faithless and Krafty Kuts join Wiley and Killa Kella for this insane, mini festival! 10pm–4am, £15. For more info tap onto unionbrighton.co.uk FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Freshers’ Festival. Funky house, R’n’B, hip-hop, bassline, with a twist of Latin house 11pm, Wristband Entry HONEY CLUB Hardsouth. Diamond blasting hard dance night with Kutski and Karim. 11pm–5am, £10/5
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SUNDAY 4 HONEY CLUB Sundelicious. House and soulful beats. 10pm, £2/1 LIFE Maxxi Soundsystem. Full on party soundsystem. 6pm, free. THE OPEN HOUSE We Change the Frequency. Global tunes from across the genres. 8pm, free
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TUESDAY 29 Kelly Joe Phelps + Lucy Anne Sale Acclaimed US bluesman blending dazzling fretwork with great charisma. Komedia, 8pm, £14 Tenebrous Liar + Passiondale Moody, countrytinged semi-gothic rockers that have recently supported Nick Cave! Pretty good too. Latest Music Bar, 7.30pm, £5 The Maccabees One of Brighton’s biggest exports, these indie rockers play a sold out show. Komedia, 8pm, £14 The Temper Trap + Magistrates Epic Aussie poprock with a definite eye on the bigger venues. Audio, 7.30pm, £tbc
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WEDNESDAY 30 Brighton Live Brighton Live 2009 is a four day free music event. For full information, visit www.brightonlive.net. Wednesday's line-up including Scenic Routes, The Beautiful Word and The Mojo Fins. Various venues, free Brighton Live: Officials + Arcadia + Sweet Addiction Free early evening line up as part of Brighton Live. Latest Music Bar, 6pm, free Brighton Live: The Special K's + Echo State + The Burlettes Slightly Maroon 5-ish London/Brighton rockers headlining. Latest Music Bar, 9pm, free Simian Mobile Disco The indie electro-pop hipsters return to the fray. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £12.50 Wave Machines Accomplished, psychey, charismatic Liverpudlian electro pop-rock. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £tbc
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THURSDAY 1 Agnostic Mountain Gospel Choir Southern-fried quality US rock in the vein of The Cave Singers. Pretty damned good too. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £7 Brighton Live 2009 For full information, visit www.brightonlive.net. Thursday's line-up including Riot Riot and The PrjctMyhm. Various Venues, free Chase & Status Drum 'n' bass crossover kings and master remixers' debut live tour. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £12.50 Hammer & Tongue/Slip Jam:B Rap Slam Rap and spoken word live jam session. Intriguing. Komedia, 8pm, £5 Natascha Atlas and the Mazeeka Ensemble Transglobal Underground singer and maverick fusing Arabian music with electro beats. Pavilion Theatre, 8pm, £12.50/10
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BRIGHTON COALITION Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free HONEY CLUB Disco Babe. 10.30pm–2.30am, £3/1 JAM Sessions. D’n’B, dub step, electro and house. 10pm–2am, £tbc Jaime Pettit
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AC/DC Night - Dirty DC II Tribute to the classic rock greats. Komedia, 8pm, £10 Bat For Lashes + Yeasayer Brighton's best export has gone from Freebutt oddball to twice Mercury-nominated diva in a few short years. Support from superb US psyche-merchants Yeasayer. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £17
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SATURDAY 3 'Speed Dating' Brighton Music Business Style Not technically music, but potentially useful if you're in a band; come meet music biz professionals for three minute slots to gain information and insight to help your budding music career. Latest Music Bar, 3pm, free Brighton Live: Blues Masterclass and Jam with Ben Poole Guidance on the blues for budding guitarists, culminating in a jam session. Latest Music Bar, 4pm-6pm, free Brighton Live: Singing and Performance Seminar with Johanna Harman Reserve your place on this class led by local performer Johanna at brightonlive.net. Latest Music Bar, 2pm, free Brighton Live: Singing and Performance Seminar with Johanna Harman Reserve your place on this limited space class with local performer Johanna Harman at brightonlive.net. Latest Music Bar, 3pm, free La Masquerade De La Moulettes + Manouchska + Bunty, Le Jule & Lees + The G's Lively folk quartet with barn-dancing, all for charidee. Komedia, 5pm, £6 Radu Lupu The acclaimed Romanian pianist plays Janacek, Beethoven and Schubert. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £10-22
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SUNDAY 4 The Boogie Woogie Troop Piano trio play good time grooves. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £4/3 Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Classical concert featuring Borodin, Tchaikovsky and Rachmaninov. Brighton Dome,2.45pm, £8-32 Marillion Cult eighties prog-rockers stomping the embarrassment-factor of 'Kayleigh' well into the past. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £20
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MONDAY 5 An Evening with Joan Baez Veteran acclaimed, hugely popular US singer-songwriter plays an evening of songs by artists she admires. Brighton Dome, 7.30pm, £37.50 Breakthrough With Rough Trade Unsigned Brighton acts. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5/4 Joan as Police Woman Solo project of Rufus Wainwright/Antony and the Johnsons collaborator Joan Wasser. St George’s Church, 7.30pm, £14.50 Wild Beasts Acclaimed, 'hotly-tipped' pop rock. Hanbury Club, 8pm, £8.50
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Brighton Live 2009 For full information, visit www.brightonlive.net. Friday's line-up including The Agitator, Heels Catch Fire and Gloria Cycles. Various Venues, free Brighton Live Line-Up TBA Free line-up as part of this year's Brighton Live event. Latest Music Bar, 6pm, free Tinchy Stryder + Chipmunk The grime wunderkind plays a sold-out show. Concorde 2, 7pm, £11
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Nick Aldwinckle
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MUSIC NEWS 33
Musichighlights
Music
> Tuesday 29 September to Monday 5 October > Luke Jones
With Jeff Hemmings
BRIGHTON LIVE Set up in 2003, Brighton Live is a celebration and showcase for all that is good about Brighton music. Over the four days, more than 150 acts will play in over 20 venues – and it’s all free. Here are a few suggestions to mark in the diary. The Adventurists (1 October, Latest Music Bar)are made up of two of the most talented musicians in Brighton: The Hat’s Dan Clark and Turning Green’s Sam Walker and specialise in storytelling inventiveness. Gentleman Starkey (30 September, Audio) were name-checked three times in the Brighton Live programme as one to catch, and it’s not hard to see why – their deep and rocky, Nick Cave-esque stories work well in the live arena. Walker (30 September, Rendezvous Casino and Unitarian Church) will play new work produced by Grammy-winning producer Pete Smith. New band Thieves By The Code (30 September, The Ranelagh) are also an explosive alt-rock offering with some very interesting songs and dynamite rhythms. New Ninja Tune signings Grasscut (2 October, My Hotel) feature Andrew Phillips and Marcus O’Dair, whose gentle ambient-techno textures comes complete with snazzy suits. Old school R’n’B is currently being done no better than by The Shoestrung (30 September, Mrs Fitzherbert’s). They’re young, good-looking, and better than The Rolling Stones when they were this age. If indie pop is your thing, check out the gorgeous The Beautiful Word (30 September, The Foundry). Their music is razor sharp and full of interest. Luke Jones (30 September, The Brunswick) writes some of the most radiofriendly songs you’ll hear over the three days, from ballads to out-and-out indie rockers. Finally, ska juggernaut Second Time Lucky will be launching their album (1 October, The Brunswick). For more info visit brightonlive.net
INDIE GODS
As they prepare for a major UK tour, The Maccabees’ Hugo White remembers the days of the van called Ethel
“I
t has no meaning,” says The Maccabees’ guitarist Hugo White of his band’s name. “We decided to pick up the Bible and find something. It was an instant thing. We got lucky.” And so they did, but deservedly so. One of the very best and most likable of the recent wave of indie bands, The Maccabees (also a Jewish rebel army from BC) are continuing on an upward trajectory of popularity and critical acclaim thanks to a mix of simple yet direct songs that are straight from the heart, and their very likable personalities. Their two albums so far, Colour It In and Wall Of Arms, are full of blasts of pure indie, oscillating from dynamic rhythms to edgy balladry. Originally from south London, the band decamped to Brighton a few years ago following the release of their first single. Now, they are all back there – except for Hugo. “I think everyone felt like a change again. But I’m happy here.” Wherever they live it doesn’t really matter as they are constantly on the move, and are about to embark on a major UK tour following a gruelling round of festivals this summer here in the UK and Europe. It’s a far cry from their beginning. “We played lots of individual shows back then,” says Hugo. “We had a van which we called Ethel and which looked
tues 29 sept downstairs: tenebrous liar (legendary photographer steve gullick’s band) + passiondale + cindytalk 8pm £5
wed 30 sept brighton live! brightonlive.net arcadia + the officials + sweet addiction + the burlettes + echo state + special k’s 6pm free
thu 1 oct brighton live! brightonlive.net a to b + the ska band +aline +
Manchester Street, Brighton
like a van from the Bomb Squad. It was very unreliable and broke down a lot... We don’t spend much on comforts even now; we’ve never been that sort of band.” To kick off their UK tour they are doing a relatively intimate show at Komedia. “Brighton’s still a home for us so we’re really looking forward to this one. Plus our set will be much longer this time around... it’s a good opportunity to test it out.” Hugo is particularly excited about their gig at Brixton Academy: “It’s fulfilling our dream. We used to go and watch bands there, and now we’re playing it!” Straight after that they’ll be heading out to Malawi for their first ever gig in Africa. “It’s a festival called Lake of Stars and it’s for charity. We just saw it as an opportunity. There won’t be hardly any other British bands there, so it’s going to make a nice change.” Following their UK stint, the band will be in Europe for a couple of months and then, hopefully, they’ll have some time to write another record. “It takes us a long time to write. It’s a private thing; we need our space to write. But we’ve all got some good ideas on the go.” The Maccabees play Komedia, Gardner Street, Brighton on 29 September. komedia.co.uk 0845 293 8480
lilly, billy + alice 6pm free cate ferris + the adventurists + the moulettes 9pm free
seminar with johanna harman 2pm–3pm & 3pm–4pm blues masterclass & jam hosted by ben poole 4pm–6pm
fri 2 oct brighton live! brightonlive.net city stereo + the morning orchestra + saw gang buzz + johnny loves house 6pm free
sun 4 oct
sat 3 oct
mon 5 oct
brighton live! brightonlive.net upstairs: speed dating – music business style 3pm–4pm downstairs: singing & performance
breakthrough with rough trade storm engine + gentlemens club + puritans + djs 8pm £5/4nus
Tel. 01273 687171
the boogie woogie troop piano trio bringing their good time piano grooves 8.30pm £4/3
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
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EVENTS | ART
Eventspreview
Arthighlights
> Tuesday 29 September to Monday 5 October >
> Tuesday 29 September to Monday 5 October >
Itchy Scratchy Jason Evans initiates an exhibition of photography, featuring work from snappers around the globe including Tod Papageorge (Director of Graduate Photography at Yale University). Apparently nothing to do with The Simpsons’ cartoon within a cartoon, the title is a term coined to describe a picture which sits uncomfortably within a photographer’s practice, bringing about a change of tack. Itchy Scratchy, Permanent Gallery, Bedford Place, Brighton, 01273 710389. 3 Oct–8 Nov
Sam Hewitt A superb local painter (and one-time founding member of Clearlake), Sam Hewitt has moved on from work made from photographs to more abstract paintings that show the development of a personal symbolism as they strive to bring out ideas from his subconscious. He’s best known for his Brighton street-scapes, and has just been chosen to create a special installation for a forthcoming local street festival. Tin Drum, St. James’s Street, Brighton, 01273 624777. Until 12 November
Rising Styles Launched in 2004 as the Brighton Hip-Hop Festival, Rising Styles is the UK”s largest celebration of international hip-hop culture. With a fantastic line-up of high profile events designed to appeal to audiences new and old, this year’s festival is promising to be bigger and better than ever. Confirmed events for 2009 include Battle Jam, Rap Slam, a King Of The Beats special and Frieze Box, the street art event where artists are given a blank canvas on which to produce a work of art throughout the day, all taking place across a range of Brighton venues from Komedia to the Sallis Benney Theatre. Rising Styles exists to celebrate the richness, strength and diversity of hip-hop culture, and many of the events are free. Whether you’re interested in art or MCing, B-Boying or graffing, there’ll be something for you at this festival, which aims specifically to increase access to hip-hop art forms, challenge negative stereotypes, and bring new audiences to the scene. Rising Styles runs from 1– 4 October, across various Brighton venues. For further info and a full performance schedule visit risingstyles.com
Events listings TUESDAY 29 Brighton Live Five days of free music seminars, workshops and masterclasses across Brighton and Hove, until Saturday 3 October. See Music Highlights (p 32) for a full preview. Unti l 3 October, various Brighton venues. For a full programme visit brightonlive.net
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FRIDAY 2 OCTOBER Fundraising screening of ‘Adam’ A fundraising event for ASpire, which provides support for adults with Asperger syndrome in Brighton and Hove. Includes a raffle with prizes donated by local businesses. Duke Of York’s, Preston Circus, Brighton, 6.30pm, £7.20. 01273 602503
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SATURDAY 3 Ladies High Gun Prize Annie get your gun!
This unique competition is part of the South Of England Agricultural Society Autumn Show and Game Fair, which also includes a host of other attractions and events to create the perfect family day out. 3 and 4 October, South Of England Centre, 9am-5pm, £6 adults, family tickets available. For further info visit seas.org.uk
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SUNDAY 4 Short Fuse Monthly live short fiction event, here on a theme of love gone bad as successful writer and short story specialist Bridget O’Connor headlines. An open mic slot at the end for 50500 word stories will be on the theme of ‘Tales From Heartbreak Hotel’ (email submissions to shortfusestories@yahoo.co.uk). Komedia, 8pm, £5 on the door, visit shortfusestories.co.uk for more info
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Roger Dean The visionary artist and designer behind the outlandish landscapes on the album covers of prog-rockers Yes, Roger Dean here exhibits fine prints and drawings (in tandem with work by his daughter, Freyja Dean) in the suitably unusual surroundings of a world furniture store. On 2 October you can also catch a gig there – by the UK’s leading Yes tribute band, Fragile, of course (tickets £35 inc dinner). Trading Boundaries, Sheffield Green, Nr. Fletching, 01825 790200. Until 4 October
From The Ashes Artemis Arts presents an exhibition of photographs, documents and oral history recordings of ex-workers at the Phoenix Foundry in Lewes, which was converted into a public space in 2006. The railings for St Paul’s cathedral and the ironwork for Brighton Pier all came from here. Explore Lewes’ lost industrial history. From The Ashes, Foundry Gallery, 32 North Street, Lewes, 01273 486595. Until 3 October
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Supported by
FILM 35
filmhighlight
L7 Film
Fame (PG) Dir: Kevin Tancharoen A reworking of a classic 1980 Alan Parker film as envisioned by dancer/choreographer/director Tancharoen. Time to take another trip to the high school of performing arts, where the teachers are tough but fair, and the kids are overflowing with talent and hormones. Maybe a smidge less dark than the original. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Connaught
Showing this week (500) Days Of Summer (12A) Dir: Marc Webb
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Third Rock From The Sun) plays Tom, a greetings card writer who falls for his boss’s new secretary (Zooey Deschanel) on Day One. By Day 31, love is in the air. Fast forward to Day 488 and it’s not so rosy. Back pedal for more of the story, which continues to unfold in a less than linear fashion. Showing at Odeon
District 9 (15)
The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee (15) Dir: Rebecca Miller
Surrogates (12A)
Dir: Neill Blomkamp
Touching and gripping satire in South Africa covering the ‘what if’ scenario of aliens coming to Earth only to be herded into a ghetto in Johannesburg. Portrayed with a mixture of reportage and regular narrative, it’s an incredible story about a very ordinary bureaucrat who, after a chance event, finds himself on the run and forming unlikely allegiances. Brilliantly done. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Duke of York’s
Away We Go (15) Dir: Sam Mendes Away We Go chronicles the trials and tribulations of a young couple
Dir: Jonathan Mostow
Imagine what it would be like if you could live through your favourite games avatar. Quick flash to an alternative universe and you can, with folk living out their wildest dreams through robotic surrogates while keeping their real selves safe in isolation. Bliss... until the first murder in 15 years rocks the world. FBI agents Bruce Willis and Radha Mitchell are hot on the case, linking the crime to surrogate creation. Then Bruce’s surrogate gets killed, leaving old ’n’ grisly to come out and play for real. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Connaught
Moving into a peaceful retirement village in Connecticut with her husband would be idyllic to Pippa Lee (Robin Wright Penn) if it weren’t for the fact her husband’s 30 years older and she has a few other things to be getting on with. Subconscious resentment is joined by a few other reflexes long thought dormant. Costarring Julianne Moore, Alan Arkin and Keanu Reeves. Showing at Duke of York’s
NT Live: All’s Well That Ends Well (na) Dir: Marianne Elliott
expecting their first child as they travel the length and breadth of the US of A to find exactly the right place to bring up their little ’un.
Heartwarming and funny, this is a charming account of discovering that home really is where the heart is. Showing at Odeon and Duke of York’s
A live link-up to the National Theatre delivers this acclaimed rendition of The Bard’s fairytale story of love struggling to overcome impossible tasks as Helena attempts to win the love of the count, Bertram. Starring George Rainsford and Michelle Terry. Showing at Duke of York’s
SHOWING THIS WEEK 01273 626261
0871 224 4007
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01903 206206
cineworld.co.uk
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odeon.co.uk
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TUESDAY 29
TUESDAY 29
TUESDAY 29
TUESDAY 29
(500) Days Of Summer (12A) 1.00, 3.15, 5.30, 8.15 Away We Go (15) 1.15, 6.30 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 12.15, 2.45, 4.45, 7.15 Creation (PG) 12.00, 2.30, 5.00. 7.45 District 9 (15) 12.30, 3.30, 6.00, 8.45 Dorian Gray (15) 4.00 Fame (PG) 12.45, 2.15, 3.45, 5.15, 6.15, 8.00, 9.00 The Final Destination 3D (15) 9.30 The Hurt Locker (15) 8.45 Surrogates (12A) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.15
Away We Go (15) 4.00 (Silver Screen) In Prison My Whole Life (15) 6.30 The Godfather (re) (15) 9.30 The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee (15) 11.00am (Silver Screen) The September Issue (12A) 1.30 (Silver Screen)
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 1.10, 3.10, 5.10, 7.10 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2D (U) 4.30 Creation(PG) 12.50, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 Crimson Wing (PG) 11.40, 1.30, 3.30, 5.30, 7.30 District 9 (15) 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00 Fame (PG) 1.50, 4.20, 6.50, 9.20 The Final Destination 3D (15) 9.10 The Firm (18) 9.30 Gamer (18) 11.50, 2.10, 7.00 Julie & Julia (12A) 9.15 The Soloist (12A) 12.30, 3.20, 6.10, 8.50 Surrogates (12A) 12.40, 2.50, 5.00, 7.20, 9.40
Fame (PG) tbc Surrogates (12A) 5.00, 8.00
WEDNESDAY 30 (500) Days Of Summer (12A) 1.00, 3.15, 5.30, 8.15 Away We Go (15) 1.15, 6.30 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 12.15, 2.45, 4.45, 7.15 Creation (PG) 12.00, 2.30, 5.00. 7.45 District 9 (15) 12.30, 3.30, 6.00, 8.45 Dorian Gray (15) 4.00, 8.35 Fame (PG) 12.45, 2.15, 3.45, 5.15, 6.15, 8.00, 9.00 The Final Destination 3D (15) 9.30 Surrogates (12A) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.15
THURSDAY 1 (500) Days Of Summer (12A) 1.00, 3.15, 5.30, 8.15 Away We Go (15) 1.15, 6.30 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 12.15, 2.45, 4.45, 7.15 Creation (PG) 12.00, 2.30, 5.00. 7.45 District 9 (15) 12.30, 3.30, 6.00, 8.45 Dorian Gray (15) 4.00, 8.35 Fame (PG) 12.45, 2.15, 3.45, 5.15, 6.15, 8.00, 9.00 The Final Destination 3D (15) 9.30 Is Anybody There? (PG) 10.30am Surrogates (12A) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.15
WEDNESDAY 30 Away We Go (15) 6.30 The Godfather (re) (15) 8.30 The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee (15) 11.00am (Big Scream), 4.00 The September Issue (12A) 1.30 (Silver Screen)
THURSDAY 1 NT Live: All’s Well That Ends Well (na) 6.45 Away We Go (15) 4.00 The September Issue (12A) 1.30
FRIDAY 2 Adam (12A) 6.30 District 9 (15) 11.00 (Late Show) The Army Of Crime (15) 8.30 The Beaches Of Agnes (12A) 1.00
SATURDAY 3 Hannah Montana (U) 11.00am (Kids’ Club) Identity Of The Soul (PG) 4.00 The Army Of Crime (15) 9.00 The Beaches Of Agnes (12A) 6.30
SUNDAY 4 District 9 (15) 8.30 Morris: A Life With Bells On (12A) 1.30 The Army Of Crime (15) 6.00 The Beaches Of Agnes (12A) 3.30
MONDAY 5 Films showing Friday 2–Monday 5 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
District 9 (15) 6.30 The Army Of Crime (15) 4.00, 9.00 The Beaches Of Agnes (12A) 1.00
WEDNESDAY 30 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 1.10, 3.10, 5.10, 7.10 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2D (U) 4.30 Creation(PG) 12.50, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 District 9 (15) 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00 Fame (PG) 1.50, 4.20, 6.50, 9.20 The Final Destination 3D (15) 9.10 Gamer (18) 11.50, 2.10, 7.00 Julie & Julia (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 5.50, 8.40 The Soloist (12A) 12.30, 3.20, 6.10, 8.50 Surrogates (12A) 12.40, 2.50, 5.00, 7.20, 9.40
THURSDAY 1 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 1.10, 3.10, 5.10, 7.10 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2D (U) 4.30 Creation(PG) 12.50, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 District 9 (15) 1.00, 3.40, 6.20, 9.00 Fame (PG) 1.50, 4.20, 6.50, 9.20 The Final Destination 3D (15) 9.10 Gamer (18) 11.50, 2.10, 7.00 Julie & Julia (12A) 12.00, 3.00, 5.50, 8.40 The Soloist (12A) 12.30, 3.20, 6.10, 8.50 Surrogates (12A) 12.40, 2.50, 5.00, 7.20, 9.40
Films showing Friday 2–Monday 5 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
WEDNESDAY 30 Fame (PG) tbc Surrogates (12A) 5.00, 8.00
THURSDAY 1 Fame (PG) tbc Surrogates (12A) 5.00, 8.00
FRIDAY 2 Fame (PG) tbc Surrogates (12A) 5.00, 8.00
SATURDAY 3 Fame (PG) tbc Surrogates (12A) 2.00, 5.00, 8.00 Coraline (PG) 10.15am
SUNDAY 4 Fame (PG) tbc Surrogates (12A) 2.00, 5.00, 8.00
MONDAY 5 Coc Before Chanel (12A) 2pm Fame (PG) tbc Surrogates (12A) 5.00, 8.00
The Firm
036_LS443_comedy/gaylist
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9/25/09
11:53 AM
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COMEDY & GAY LISTINGS
Comedypreview
Gaylistings
> Tuesday 29 September to Monday 5 October >
> Tuesday 29 September to Monday 5 October >
A Rich Man You don’t have to come into the city to get to one of the best shows of the week, as American comic, character and television panelist Rich Hall takes in Bexhill-On-Sea as part of his UK tour. The Perrier Award-winner offers a show of two halves. He’ll be his usual, deadpan, grumpy belly-laugh inducing self in the first section, and his country singer alter-ego Otis Lee Crenshaw – redneck jailbird from Tennessee, married seven times, each time to a woman called Brenda – in the second. You may have caught him recently on his acclaimed BBC4 documentary How the West Was Lost, on QI, or even Live At The Apollo – pushing boundaries and being funny. Politicised without being preachy; a strong critic of his American homeland – yet not afraid to tell them so on home soil; Rich won an Emmy for his writing and appearances on The David Letterman Show. Having him in town this month is a true treat. Rich Hall, Thursday 1 October, De La Warr Pavilion, 8pm, £15. Also, catch Rich performing in the Magners Brighton Comedy Festival, Thursday 15 October at the Corn Exchange, 9.30pm, £15/13.
Tuesday 29 September BRIGHTON TAVERN Games Galore. 12pm, free CHARLES STREET BAR Two’s Company. Cabaret from Maisie Trollette and Miss Jason. 9pm, free LEGENDS Relax – It’s Tuesday. Friendly bar with smoking/sun terrace. Bar open 11am–5am, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Drag King Night. Relax with a handsome king. 8pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free REVENGE Sound as a Pound. ’80s, ’90s, ’00s, electro, pop, dance and cheese. 10.30pm, £1 THE BASEMENT Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free
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Wednesday 30 AMSTERDAM Student Karaoke. 8pm, free BRIGHTON TAVERN Wednesday’s Wine Club. 12pm, free LATEST MUSIC BAR Gay Tango. 7–8pm absolute beginners, 8–9.30pm improvers, 9.30–11pm practical/social dancing. From 7pm, £10 LEGENDS Gabbi’s Fun and Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free QUEEN’S ARMS Karaoke Star 2009 – 1st prize £150. Can you belt out a pop, rock country song or maybe a ballad? 9.15pm, free R-BAR The Midweek Shuffle. Brighton’s hottest new DJ, Zack Hadley rocks R-Bar with cheesy pop, chart, ‘90s dance and club. 12pm, £tbc THE BASEMENT Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free
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Comedy listings TUESDAY 29 People Vs Stand-Up Comedy Alan Seabrook presents the great and the good from our local comedy scene in this popular local Hove pub. The Forager, 8pm, £4/2.
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THURSDAY 1 OCTOBER Mark Allen’s Quite Good Britain In this all-new updated show, Mark Allen – documentary comedian, investigative funny man and proud citizen of the UK – looks at what it actually means to be British. Is this country still Great, or is it just Quite Good? Komedia, 8pm, £8/6.
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Rich Hall Star of the critically acclaimed BBC4 documentary, How the West Was Lost, Edinburgh fringe favourite and Perrier-award winner Rich Hall is back on the road. De La Warr Pavilion, 8pm, £15.
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Tag Comedy Featuring four top UK comedians with no running order, no set lists, and no idea as to what they will be doing or talking about. Featuring Micky Flanagan, Rufus Hound, Steve Gribbin and Stephen Grant. Komedia, 8pm, £8.50/6.50.
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Walks Into A Bar Local comics try out new material and new acts in this friendly curry pub. London Unity, 8pm, free.
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Wisecrackers Top class comedy comes to Brighton Marina with stars of the Edinburgh Festival Trevor Lock, TV's Jack Whitehall and if.comedy winner Brendon Burns. Master Mariner, 8pm, £15/13.
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FRIDAY 2 Charity Gig in aid of Support Adoption for Pets
Comedy for an excellent cause from Rich Perry, Robin Buckland, Sam Savage, Marie Vagen, Kerry Herbert, Lee Hume, Andy Bryant, Paul Becket, Rob Dumbrell, Jim Holland, Hannah George, Romesh Ranganathan and Aidan Goatley as compere. Smashing! Cinque Ports Club, 8pm, £6
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Comedy Cooler Local comics show that Hove’s got talent, with headline spots from Paul Beckett and Julie Jepson ably supported by Wayne Connelly, Helen Raynor, Neil Dagley, Anthony Ayton, Andy Allen and Dave Streeter. Compered by Kev Heritage. Alibi, 8.30pm, free.
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Krater Comedy Club Award-winning comedy where you can eat, drink, watch and laugh. Featuring Micky Flanagan, Adam Crow and Zoe Lyons, not forgetting award-winning MC Stephen Grant. Also on Saturday and Sunday. Komedia, 7.30pm, £12.50/10.
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Secret Lemonade Drinkers Convention An evening of stand-up and improvised comedy with Tony Law, Jenny Lee, Marcel Lucont, and 'Over 2 U'. The Barn, Durrington-On-Sea, 7.45pm, £12/10.
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SUNDAY 4 Bent Double An irreverent night of fun and frolics hosted by if.comedy Best Newcomer 2007 award nominee Zoe Lyons, featuring Adams & Rea, Karen Bayley and Jack Whitehall. Komedia, 7.30pm, £10/8.
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Fascinating Aida Britain's raciest, sassiest and most successful theatre cabaret trio features Dillie Keane, Adèle Anderson and Liza Pulman. Theatre Royal, 7.30pm, £14/16/18
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Thursday 1 October CHARLES STREET BAR Mad Cow XL – My Cow Is On Fire. Ms Joan Bond hosts a night of mayhem with DJs Li’l Alex and LeeRoy spinning funky house across two floors. Plus drinks deals! 8pm–3am, £1 (Goes To Charity) QUEEN’S ARMS See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-Bar Pre-Girls on Top Party. Verity sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Girls On Top. Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes. 10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30 with passes, £5/4 after THE BASEMENT DLite. Regular guest DJs lay down commercial house tracks. 11pm–4am, free
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Friday 2 CHARLES STREET BAR Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies. Bar open 11am, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Flauncy Friday. Filthy funky dance and house. 9.30pm–2am, free GHETTO Popstarz. Indie. 10pm, free b4 11pm LEGENDS Pre-Celebration. Pure pop. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Girls’ Night. Two floors of mayhem with guest DJs. 8pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Camp Attack + Karaoke. Definitive handbag, commercial and camp tunes with DJ. 9pm, £tbc
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R-BAR Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Lollipop Vs Altitude. Top pop and funky vocal house. 10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after THE BASEMENT Celebration with Dolly Rocket. girly pop & handbag tracks all night long. 11pm–4am, free THE ZONE Gilly B 9.30pm, free
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Saturday 3 AMSTERDAM Sun Downers + Late Night Bar. The best beach house music in town. 8pm–5am, free BRIGHTON COALITION Wildfruit Birthday Celebrations. With DJ superstars Boy George, Dusty O and Tasty Tim plus a bevy of fierce hostesses, explicit dancers and full on fashion sluts! 10pm–3am, £12/7 CHARLES STREET CLUB Mardi Gras. HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3 LEGENDS Pre-Ignition. DJs from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free LIFE Rebel. Expect the very best electro funky house at this tough and notoriously sexy after party. 3.30am–7am, £8/5 MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Queen Jo at the Marly offers fab funky house. 9pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Trudi Styles + Karaoke. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30pm–5.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin ‘til midnight! Bar open 12pm, free R-BAR Kinky Classics. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous from 9pm with Dulcie Danger. Bar open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Kinky Dangerous. Two top DJs, two floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 5.5 hours of frolics. 10.30pm–6am, £7/3 THE BASEMENT Ignition. With the funky house and chart remix sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free THE PV AT THE JURY’S OUT Viva La Diva + Booty Call. Live music from 6.30pm, then a special guest DJ spins some body shakin’ summer rollers. 12pm, £tbc THE ZONE Presents... Lady James. 10pm, free
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Sunday 4 AMSTERDAM Sunday Lunch and Connie’s Karaoke. Karaoke from 8pm. 12pm–1am, free KOMEDIA Bent Double. A Consuming bre of comedic delight hosted by Mock the Week’s Zoe Lyons. 7.30pm, £10/8 MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Sunday Quiz. With Drag King, Jack Roquard. 7pm, £1 entry QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Drag With No Name + Betty’s Karaoke. (5.30pm). 12pm, free R-BAR Sublime Sundays and Barmy Bingo. 12pm–2am, free REVENGE AIDS Memorial Fundraiser. 10.30pm–4am, donations on the door. THE BASEMENT Fever. Disco and pop remixes. 11pm–4am, free
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Monday 5 CHARLES STREET CLUB Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin all the best party tracks spanning the last four decades. 10pm–2am, £1.50 LEGENDS Dave Lynn and Friends. Hysterical night of cabaret from 9.30pm. 11am–5am, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Trans Night. Hosted with the Clare Project. 8.30pm, free R-BAR Miss Jason’s Mad House. Regular cabaret night plus a Wii Zone and free pool! 10pm, free QUEENS ARMS Deal or No Deal Drinks + Karaoke. 8pm–1am, free
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037_LS443_reviews
9/25/09
1:19 PM
Page 1
REVIEWS
37 Pics courtesy of White Air
L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at thelatest.co.uk SEPARATE TABLES The Terrence Rattigan revival is already well under way, but here’s another reminder that the smooth post-war stylist, so roughly treated by the ‘60s, was actually concerned with the messiness of human emotion. In Philip Frank’s funny and absorbing production, the CFT’s revolving stage switches smartly between the dining room and lounge of a coastal hotel, while a strip of video screen shows an increasingly stormy seascape. Amongst a brilliant cast of residents, Gina McKee and Iain Glen play two unlikely couples: a manipulative fading model and her alcoholic socialist ex-husband; a nervous, dowdy spinster and the aging “major” with whom she alone feels at ease. When the latter is arrested for soliciting gay sex, the humanity of each of his fellow guests is tested: Deborah Findlay’s quietly heroic hotelier again shows her empathetic metal, while Stephanie Cole’s Mrs Railton-Bell injects the words “on the esplanade” with all the outraged force of Lady Bracknell’s “a handbag!” In fact, of course, his behaviour seems even more benign when set against the mututally destructive cat and mouse chemistry of the heterosexual relationship in part one. For a cosy comedy about aloneness, this harbors some savage truths. Chichester Festival Theatre, Until 3 Oct (01243 781312) ✪✪✪✪✪ Bella Todd
TIM MINCHIN – READY FOR THIS Arriving on stage like an A A Milne rock star, Tim Minchin was full of verbose prose, precise lyrics and bombastic arrangements. Playing with light and sound – and the microphone stand – this barefooted Noel Coward for the 21st century held his audience most rapt when he took to song, especially those of a personal bent like ‘If I Didn’t Have You’ and ‘Prejudice’. A bit too preachy in bits of the first half, with his atheism as loudly proclaimed as
Pic: Manuel Harlan
any gospel ‘Hallelujah’, he ended the second in the fantastic crescendo of ‘Darkside’, the lament of a man dumped for being too happy. Brighton Dome, 18 September ✪✪✪✪✪ Victoria Nangle
THE LAST NIGHT OF THE POMS Sir Lesley Patterson is one of the great comic creations of the 20th century, and he is alive, well – just – and spitting. His terrible tales had us cringing with delight and the Prokofiev pastiche was excellent. But Dame Edna herself is an immovable force, an entertainment terrorist with a licence to kill. No one and no thing is safe from the widow’s razor sharp tongue. The musical element was good but if I had any criticism, a tad too long, leaving not enough time for her acid observations. Carl Davies, the Liverpool Philharmonic and Brighton Festival Chorus were superb. An excellent evening all round. Brighton Centre, 18 September ✪✪✪✪✪ Andrew Kay
A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS “Play Karma Chameleon” yelled your standard slightly smug gigbore, perfectly summarising the somewhat dismissive attitude these New Romantic survivors have to put up with. Best known for one of the more ludicrous ‘80s hairstyles, vocalist (and sole original member) Mike Score now more closely resembles an American wrestling promoter, though his music retains much of the original band’s electro charisma. Blending harder-edged newer material with favourites including ‘I Ran (So Far Away)’, the focus remained on slick, atmospheric texture over content. Still, as a smoothly efficient dip into pop nostalgia, this deserved a much greater flock of devotees than the half-empty Concorde. Concorde 2, 16 September ✪✪✪✪✪ Nick Aldwinckle
Do you disagree with our verdict on one of these shows? comment@thelatest.co.uk Separate Tables
Biffy Clyro
AIR ON A SEA SCENE WHITE AIR FESTIVAL Brighton seafront, 18–20 September ✪✪✪✪✪
A
fter months of build-up, the White Air Festival descended on Brighton’s seafront in spectacular, highflying fashion. When the Red Arrows are around, all attention turns to the sky, and on this weekend they made their presence known, flying low across the city as the festival officially opened. Interest piqued, most people headed along after work on the Friday, sadly having missed almost an entire day of events. On the Friday, things weren’t packed and heaving as I would have expected, but there was a charged atmosphere as the crowd took in the new additions to Brighton’s famous seascape: a high-diving tower, skating ramp, an eclectic range of consumer stands/tents and, of course, the main stage set up for live music performances. Events took place both on land (BMX freestyle competition) and in the sea (jet ski display), whetting the appetite of any extreme sports enthusiast. OK, I may not fall into that category, but the awe-inspiring displays sure grabbed my attention and entertained me more than the auditions on The X Factor.
What made it even better? The public could have a go at a number of the sports, including wakeboarding and paragliding. All this before I’d even seen any of the bands perform... Making my way past the bar and Rowntrees Randoms stand (random indeed but ideally placed) to the main stage, I caught White Lies playing a late – but fantastic – set on the Friday night. Scottish rockers Biffy Clyro – my main reason for attending – ended the first night with some of their best hits including ‘Mountains’ and ‘Living Is A Problem...’. Madeira Drive was transformed. The lights on stage were stunning against the dark backdrop of the sea beyond. An outdoor festival is definitely the place to watch these bands. It was good to see a well organised festival with plenty on offer. It could have been busier, but there was an intimacy that I liked. People may have watched from Marine Parade above, but the atmosphere was lost on them. Let’s hope a festival like White Air can grace our shores again next year. That leaves me just enough time to work up the courage for some paragliding! Zara Baker
>Latest 7 is expanding its live reviews team… ...and we are on the look out for volunteers. Do you have a way with words, a free evening or two and a passion for theatre, music, comedy or dance? Send two 100 word samples of your reviewing style to bella@thelatest.co.uk
038_LS443_Sports/TV_Column
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9/24/09
1:44 PM
Page 2
SPORT | TV
L7 Sport
Tony Marks His loyalties in the glorious game are altered during a Manchester derby
T
he strangest thing happened to me over the weekend while watching the big Manchester derby on Sky Sports – I found myself wanting United to win! Like most non-‘ManUre’ fans, I normally take great pleasure in seeing them get beaten, however, over the course of the summer, Manchester City have become the common enemy of every neutral that loves the beautiful game. It was only 11 years ago that Manchester City were in the third tier of English football and still pulling in incredible crowds of around 30,000 people. And as the underdog of Manchester, most of us had a bit of a soft spot for them. However, since Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan decided to give manager Mark Hughes unrestricted access to his bottomless pit of money, City have acquired an arrogance which doesn’t quite suit “The People’s Club of Manchester”.
“Football should be played on the pitch, not through PR stunts” Firstly, I have to agree with Sir Alex Ferguson (there’s a first time for everything!) that the poster of new City signing Carlos Tevez with the caption ‘Welcome To Manchester’ was “cocky”. This went up in their city centre before a ball had even been kicked this season. It’s just plain wrong! Football should be played on the pitch, not through PR stunts. Secondly, the way they relentlessly went after Everton defender Joleon Lescott left a bad taste in the mouth. Hughes kept making big money offers for Lescott over the summer, and Toffees boss David Moyes kept repeating that he had no intention of selling the England centre back, and asked ‘Sparky’ to show some respect and not try to unsettle his players, which Hughes predictably ignored. Lescott had a whiff of the wages that were on offer to him, put in a transfer request, and played like a donkey in Everton’s 6-1 defeat against Arsenal on the opening day of the season. So Moyes had no choice but to flog him. It practically amounted to bullying! And thirdly, Hughes (who always had a dirty side to his game as a player) saying that he believed Emmanuel Adebayor hadn’t intentionally meant to hurt Arsenal’s Robin van Persie after he’d scraped his studs down the Dutchman’s face because he’d “looked into (the mercenary’s) eyes” is laughable! Hughes showed a real lack of class in the build up to the derby against his old club and boss, so when Michael Owen scored the winner in a classic 4-3 victory for United after 95 minutes and 26 seconds, I found myself jumping out of my seat and punching the air in delight! So now, the sort of people who usually respond with “anyone but United” when asked who they want to win the league, might actually start saying “anyone but United or City”. Mind you, having said all that, if a rich Arab wants to invest £200m into Albion’s team, he has my blessing! Join Tony Marks on Sport Saturday on Brighton’s Juice 107.2 every Saturday afternoon from 2pm.
L7 TV
YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE
29 SEPT – 5 OCT
Telly Talk With Victoria Nangle
Spark up Electric Dreams, BBC4, Tuesday, 9pm
P
rimary history was always the most interesting at school – finding Anne Frank’s diary, songs from the American underground railway, and the odd spearhead when off exploring woods I probably wasn’t supposed to be in. So it was with a mix of nostalgia – and fear that the nostalgia bubble was about to be popped – that I sat down to watch Electric Dreams. The premise: take one modern family and drop them in the ’70s with ’70s gadgetry, each day advancing a year in technology and providing them with some ‘new’ gizmo that had just been discovered – be it teasmaid or chest freezer. Bonza. With the air that’s been aspired to by a number of edutainment programmes, only emphasised by the fact it’s Robert Llewellyn narrating, this is – to quote a favourite information tome of the 80s – ‘Fun Finding Out.’ Helped by a team of ’70s gadget researchers, including the lovely comic Tom Wrigglesworth as the team’s most frequent front man, from blackout advisor to TV repairman, this family of five have all a ’70s family could desire: that's the highs of the chopper bike and family slide shows, and the lows of absolute boredom that sends son Hamish where no true ’70s lad would dare to go – helping his mum with the housework. Another side product of this fun to watch experiment is the family dynamic. At one point Mum loses her rag at Hamish and sends him to his bedroom without any supper, proclaiming angrily that if this was really the ’70s he’d’ve got
a clip round the earhole to go with the rest of his punishment. Dad gently vetoes the very suggestion and when the power cut kicks in – for striking authenticity – he chortles at the irony of there being so little to do anyway that they could miss. Mum, like a Beano mum of the ’70s, says through gritted teeth he could always help her out. The little lady of the ’70s could never afford to be little with the amount she had to shoulder. This was engaging. I didn’t expect it to be. I thought it would be all Space Hoppers and Pong. Those are present. But it also brought out a nostalgia I’d forgotten about; for power cuts and sloppy puddings that took hours to make; for playing in the snow, and the excitement of something new arriving at the household that possessed a button for turning it on. Plus, quite a few interesting facts I wasn’t aware of, like the number of homes not to have central heating and that the amount of time parents spend with their kids has gone up rather than down in these current PlayStation-obsessed times. Edutainment at its best. I can’t wait to find out what relics they’ll dig up for the ’80s and ’90s shows.
039_LS443_TV_tue
9/24/09
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tuesday 29 How To Look Good Naked Channel 4, 8pm You go, girlfriend! Get those baps out and proud! I just love the way you look. These are just some of the phrases you could use to play Gok Bingo with the return of this body positive series. Mother Margaret (62) and daughter Maria (39) are scared they’ll pass their bad body image on to the next generation. Time to call Gok.
Richard Wilson: Two Feet In The Grave BBC1, 10.45pm Benjamin Franklin said that the only things we can be sure of are death and taxes. So why do we still have difficulty discussing the more natural of the two? At 72, Richard Wilson explores death in the 21st century, from grief to pathology, and finds out what choices we have on offer.
Charlie Brooker’s Gameswipe BBC4, 10pm Mr Brooker turns his acid tongue to a new genre: the video game. Looking at how they’ve changed from original inception, when a stick moving up and down was the height of technology, Charlie is joined by Dara O’Briain, Graham Linehan and Rab and Ryan from Consolevania.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Cowboy Trap 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.45 Bernard 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Raven 4.35 Blue Peter 4.55 MyWish 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Grandpa In My Pocket 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary Geography 11.20 Science Clips 11.30 Telling Tales 11.35 Telling Tales 11.40 Let’s Write A Story 12.00pm Daily Politics Conference Special 1.00 Open House 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Daily Politics Conference Special 4.00 Flog It! 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia is joined by the saved couple, and we take a look at the highs and lows of the weekend’s dances in Choreography Corner. 7.00 Victorian Farm Historical observational documentary. It is spring and there are lambs and pigs to be delivered, which means Alex and Peter need to master animal midwifery. Just what we learnt at school after double maths. Hmm. 8.00 Masterchef The Professionals Legendary double Michelin starred chef Michel Roux Jnr and vegetable expert Gregg Wallace continue testing chefs. 9.00 The Choir: Boys Don’t Sing Revisited In 2007, choirmaster Gareth Malone built up a choir at one of the largest all-boys comprehensives from nothing, until they were good enough to perform at the Royal Albert Hall. One year on, Gareth returns to see the choir. 10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland Joining Jools for the third show of this series is Mika, Gladys Knight, The Cribs, Shakira, The XX and The Duke and the King. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Today At Conference Andrew Neil presents highlights of the Labour Party’s annual conference in Brighton. 11.50 Last Chance To See Repeat. 12.50am BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Year Dot Television 10.00 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.30 KNTV Sex 11.00 TV Is Dead? 11.30 Chill Out 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Proud Parents 12.45 A Place In The Sun 1.15 FILM: Seance On A Wet Afternoon (1964) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Netbusters 9.30 Poker 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30pm SPL Round-Up 1.00 Live Cricket: ICC Champions Trophy 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Football Hall Of Fame 2009 11.30 Hyundai A League 12.00am Football Asia 12.30 Champions League Goals 1.30 Revista De La Liga 2.30 On The Line 3.00 Champions League Goals 4.00 Revista De La Liga Season Review 5.00 Champions League Goals
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Cain violently attacks Michael after discovering his secret. Is there any other way for Cain to attack anyone? 7.30 Grimefighters Series following the daily lives of Britain’s clean-up teams. Don’t watch this while eating your dinner. Ugh. 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Ten more hopeful contestants compete for a chance to walk away with the top prize of one million pounds. Cue Doctor Evil laugh. 9.00 The Fixer The team are plunged into the violent underworld of cagefighting in order to deal with an elusive criminal who is planning a major heist. Not anything to do with Jordan’s new boyfriend. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 To Catch A Paedophile Second of two programmes in which child protection expert Mark Williams-Thomas follows officers in the Metropolitan Police’s Paedophile Unit as they go undercover to catch predators targeting kids. 11.35 In Plain Sight When a building collapses on one of Mary’s witnesses, he is left exposed to outside threats. Ya think?! 12.30am Guinness Premiership Rugby 1.20 Red Bull Air Race 2.10 Loose Women 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Anita decides she cannot leave Hollyoaks with her parents. Will this mean she’ll take the bad boy Justin or the good-ish boy Russ route to being left behind by parents? Kids may be involved. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 How To Look Good Naked See highlights. 9.00 Jamie’s American Road Trip Jamie meets a self-sufficient hunting family and enrols them in a Florida barbecue competition. Time for Planet Terror flashbacks of BBQ sauce. 10.00 The Big Food Fight Food quiz hosted by Sue Perkins. Hugh teams with Sophie Dahl to take on Clarissa Dickson-Wright and Giles Coren. 10.35 Derren Brown: Trick Of The Mind 2 Derren Brown travels around the country demonstrating his unique powers. 11.05 The Real Housewives Of New Jersey Reality series. Dina, Caroline and Teresa head to Atlantic City for a weekend of shopping, gambling and spa treatments. 12.05am Coming Up 12.40 Full Tilt Poker 1.35 Gillette World Sport 2.05 The Cooper Tyres British Formula 3 International Series 2.35 The McCain Track And Field Show 3.00 FIA GT Championship 3.30 Ironman UK 4.00 Star Maths 4 (x8) 5.20 Making It (x2) 5.30 We Are From... (x2)
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Roobarb And Custard Too 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 I Own Britain’s Best Home 2009 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Up Close And Dangerous 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.10 FILM: Serving In Silence: The Margarethe Cammermeyer Story (1995) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Rachel and Tony continue to search for baby Harry. It’s not like they’re likely to give up or anything. 6.30 Live From Studio Five 7.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. 8.00 Warship Documentary series filmed on board a Royal Navy ship. 9.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama series based on the work of forensic investigators. The murder of a disreputable surgeon uncovers an illegal organ trade and leads to a desperate drug dealer willing to do anything to cover his tracks. Elsewhere, Calleigh slips into a coma after inhaling smoke at a house fire. Nooooooooooo-oooooooooo! 10.00 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. When the murder of a Ukrainian national leads the CSIs to uncover a brutal sex-trafficking ring, Flack must persuade a reluctant club owner to take part in a risky sting. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. Grissom and Catherine must assemble the pieces of a skeleton cut up with a saw and scattered in the desert. 12.00am The FBI Files 12.50 PGA Tour Golf 1.45 ITU Triathlon 2.35 NHRA Drag Racing 4.20 Golf – European Challenge Tour 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Roxy worries that Ronnie is about to sabotage another relationship. Surely that’s just how relationships with Ronnie work. Duh. 8.00 Holby City Faye and Joseph’s happiness is short-lived when Archie is rushed into AAU in crisis. Penny makes a bad mistake when trying to impress Jac over a patient, but then she discovers it was Jac who leaked confidential information to the press. Hah! Finally someone has something to get Teflon Jaq over a barrel! 9.00 Crimewatch Kirsty Young and the team work with the police to appeal for help in cracking unsolved cases and bringing criminals to justice. Don’t have nightmares. Put the cheese down now. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Crimewatch Update Updates on recently featured cases. Nightmare aversion therapy for some. 10.45 Richard Wilson: Two Feet In The Grave See highlights. 11.45 Film 2009 With Jonathan Ross Film news, reviews and interviews. 12.15am FILM: Made (2001) 1.45 Weatherview 1.50 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.20 Rivers With Griff Rhys Jones 3.20 MasterChef The Professionals 4.20 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE: Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 9.00 Ocean Adventures 9.30 Sportnation 10.30 British Rally Championship 11.30 Elite League Speedway 1.30pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 2.30 Elite League Speedway 4.30 Football Hall Of Fame 2009 5.00 Live Football: UEFA Champions League 7.30 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Champions League Goals 11.00 Poker Million 1.00am Golf: Challenge Series 2009 1.30 Hyundai A League 2.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 3.00 Football Hall Of Fame 2009 3.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 7.00am British Carp Angling Championships 8.00 British Rally Championship 9.00 Bowls 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm British Carp Angling Championships 1.00 Sportnation 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Bowls 5.00 Sportnation 6.00 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 6.30 Ladies European Tour Golf 7.30 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 NFL Total Access 12.00am Ladies European Tour Golf 1.00 Bowls 3.00 Great North Run 3.30 Ladies European Tour Golf 4.30 Close
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2.00pm Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle 4.30 Oops TV 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 Octomum: The 8 Baby Mother 9.00 House 10.00 FILM: Jerry Maguire (1996) 12.40am Fringe 1.50 Road Wars 2.40 Stargate Atlantis (x2)
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 The Real Hustle Las Vegas 8.00 Underage And Pregnant (x2) 9.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 How Not To Live Your Life 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Don’t Tell The Bride 12.50am Underage And Pregnant (x2) 1.50 How Not To Live Your Life 2.20 Tough Guy Or Chicken?
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Tales From The Green Valley 8.00 History Of Scotland 9.00 Electric Dreams 10.00 Charlie Brooker’s Gameswipe. See highlights. 10.50 Rab C Nesbitt 11.20 Early Doors 11.50 Scotland’s Music With Phil Cunningham 12.50am Electric Dreams 1.50 Gameswipe
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Primeval 8.00 What Katie Did Next 9.00 Jack Osbourne: Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie 10.00 Arthur’s Day 2009 11.30 FILM: Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) 2.10am Emmerdale 2.30 Teleshopping
12.45pm Heartbeat 1.50 Wycliffe 2.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.00 Drama Trails 5.15 Carry On Laughing 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Profiling Ian Rankin 10.00 Rebus 11.35 Reckless 12.40am Wycliffe 1.35 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes
3.05pm Veronica Mars 4.00 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Hollyoaks Later 10.00 Running In Heels (x2) 11.00 RuPaul’s Drag Race 12.00am Hollyoaks Later 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 1.50 How I Met Your Mother
5.05pm The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Relocation, Relocation 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Location, Location, Location 10.00 FILM: Close Encounters In Siberia (2004) 11.40 Location, Location, Location 12.45am FILM: Close Encounters In Siberia (2004)
11.00am Guns At Batasi (1964) 1.00pm Move Over, Darling (1963) 3.00 Black Narcissus (1946) 5.00 Doctor In Distress (1963) 7.00 The Family Stone (2005) 9.00 The Transporter (2002) 10.45 Lady Chatterley (2006) 1.55am North Star (1995) 3.45 Close
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wednesday 30 Ruth Watson’s Hotel Rescue Channel 4, 8pm A brand new series, as expert hotelier and food writer Ruth Watson stops helping failing hotel businesses and turns her attention to hotels that are just starting up. Catch ‘em before the bad habits start. The first to benefit from this change are Diane and Steve in Suffolk, wanting to open a B&B.
Shooting Stars BBC2, 10pm Oh no! It’s the last in the series already! How time flies when you’re enjoying random surreal comedy. Who will forget Lenny Henry’s proclamation of confusion last week? Or a Big Hairy Biker having nasty-smelling fingers jammed under his nose? Or this week’s corpse-off between Angelos and Bob. Class.
Saving Grace More4, 11.05pm The ever-talented Holly Hunter takes the lead as the harddrinking promiscuous cop who dedicates her professional life to God after being given a last chance by an angel. Happens to the best of us. This week Grace hunts the killer of an undercover reporter. It would be so much easier if God told her who dunnit.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Cowboy Trap 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.45 Bernard 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Wait For It..! 4.35 Blue Peter 4.55 MyWish 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 LazyTown Extra 8.40 Postman Pat: SDS 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Grandpa In My Pocket 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 Pingu 10.35 In The Night Garden 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm Daily Politics Conference Special 1.00 See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 5.55 Party Political Broadcast 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman takes a peek into the training rooms to find out how the couples are shaping up for the weekend. 7.00 Railway Walks Julia Bradbury takes a series of walks following the old tracks, overgrown cuttings and ancient viaducts. 7.30 Escape To The Country Alistair Appleton is in south Bedfordshire helping a couple moving in together for the first time looking for a home in a rural location with space. On a budget. Yeah, right. 8.15 Masterchef The Professionals More yummy competition. 9.00 Dragons’ Den: On Tour The Dragons visit former contestants in the Midlands, Oxfordshire, North Lincolnshire, Cambridgeshire and Essex. See how many offer them a cup of tea and how many don’t. 10.00 Shooting Stars See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Today At Conference Andrew Neil presents highlights of the Labour Party’s annual conference in Brighton. 11.50 The Love Of Money The series on the global crash examines the month that followed the collapse of Lehman Brothers in September 2008. 12.50am BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Year Dot Television 10.00 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.30 KNTV Sex 11.00 TV Is Dead? 11.30 Don’t Make Me Angry 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Property Snakes And Ladders 1.35 FILM: The Captive Heart (1946) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Roobarb And Custard Too 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 I Own Britain’s Best Home 2009 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Up Close And Dangerous 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Jane Doe: Now You See It, Now You Don’t (2005) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 LIVE Cricket: ICC Champions Trophy 5.00pm LIVE Cricket: ICC Champions Trophy 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am Total Rugby 12.30 Champions League Goals 1.30 Poker Million 3.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.00 Champions League Goals 5.00 European Tour Weekly 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Mercedes threatens to sue Spencer over Malachy’s accident at The Loft after Spencer refuses to give her a job. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Ruth Watson’s Hotel Rescue See highlights. 9.00 The Secret Millionaire Successful businessman Tony Banks, whose care home empire is worth an estimated £50 million, goes incognito in one of the toughest areas of Liverpool. Big wallet, bigger heart. 10.00 Ugly Betty Drama series. Betty makes a mistake while preparing a special video for Claire’s 60th birthday, revealing some unfortunate footage of Mrs Meade. 11.00 Dawn Porter: Geisha Girl Journalist and single woman Dawn travels to Japan to immerse herself in the world of geishas. She also tackles some of the common myths about geishas, and discovers some equally strange truths along the way. 12.05am 4 Music: Stereophonics: Video Exclusive 12.10 4Music Sessions: The Veronicas 12.40 4Play: Kid Harpoon 12.55 Tommy Reilly: Orange Unsigned Act - The Winner’s Story 1.10 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 3.05 Shin Gi Tai 3.10 Unreported World 3.40 3 Minute Wonder 3.45 Dispatches: MPs, Planes And Gravy Trains 4.40 Reaper 5.20 Countdown
6.00 Home And Away Aden sinks to a new low in the wake of Belle’s death. He dug a hole ‘specially. 6.30 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.30 Building The Ultimate This instalment reveals the history of the aircraft carrier, including an interview with Eric Brown, the first man to land a jet on a heaving carrier deck. 8.00 World War I In Colour Documentary series. This edition focuses on the bloody battle for the Eastern Front, the outcome of which had huge political implications. 9.00 Farmer Wants A Wife Thirtyyear-old Jim is a rugby-loving arable farmer from the Yorkshire Dales. Despite looking like a rock star, this handsome bachelor has yet to find Mrs Right. Can Louise Redknapp help sow the seeds of love? Or at the very least ‘seeds of lust’? 10.00 FILM: Dog Soldiers (2002) Starring Sean Pertwee, Kevin McKidd, Liam Cunningham, Emma Cleasby. Darkly comic action horror in which a military training exercise in the Scottish Highlands turns into a nightmarish battle for survival as werewolves join the throng. 12.10am PartyPoker.com Women’s World Open III 1.35 2009 Summer X Games 3.15 Golf – European Challenge Tour 3.40 Boxing Classic 4.00 Boxing USA 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers Food writer Nigel Slater uses some of his favourite food combinations as the starting point for a week’s worth of delicious meals. 8.00 Dying To Be Treated? The programme investigates a key Labour health policy that slashed waiting lists by using the private sector to treat NHS patients. Six years on, was it worth the price? Thousands benefited from fast-track operations, but bereaved families and senior surgeons say risks were taken. 9.00 The Secret Life Of Twins Twopart series that looks at some of the most fascinating identical twins in the world. Geddit? Two-part series. Gotta be two parts if it’s about twins. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Myleene Klass presents the midweek National Lottery draws. Hopes, dreams, mortgage-free life... 10.45 FILM: 16 Blocks (2006) Starring Bruce Willis, Mos Def, David Morse, Jenna Stern. Fast-paced action thriller. 12.20am Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 1.25 MasterChef The Professionals (x2) 2.55 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 3.40 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 6.55 Party Political Broadcast By The Labour Party 7.00 Emmerdale Ashley is concerned when Sally tearfully declares that her marriage is over. Well, he would be, being a vicar an’ all. Plus a caring friend. Of course. 7.30 UEFA Champions League: Manchester United V Wolfsburg Manchester United’s first European game at Old Trafford since they lost last season’s final sees them host German champions Wolfsburg. With Ronaldo gone, Sir Alex Ferguson will look increasingly to the goal threat of Wayne Rooney as he aims to steer a course for Madrid next May. Steve Rider presents with Andy Townsend and Teddy Sheringham. Commentary is by Peter Drury and Jim Beglin. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 UEFA Champions League Jim Rosenthal presents a round-up of all the goals and the best action from the second round of matches in the Champions League group stage. Like you could’ve possibly missed it earlier splattered all over the ITV telly. Match commentary from Clive Tyldesley and Peter Drury. 12.00am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 12.50 Loose Women 1.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 2.35 Cops Vs Stalkers: Tonight 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Hyundai A League 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 Champions League Goals 10.00 Football Hall Of Fame 2009 10.30 On The Line 11.00 Poker Million 1.00pm Champions League Goals 2.00 Revista De La Liga 3.00 Poker Million 5.00 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 7.30 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Champions League Goals 11.00 NFL - Total Access 12.00am Canter Banter 12.30 Great North Run 1.00 European Tour Weekly 1.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 Canter Banter 2.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 7.30am Football Hall Of Fame 2009 8.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 9.00 Ladies European Tour Golf 10.00 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 10.30 Great Run Series 11.00 Hyundai A League 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 Great Run Series 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 Ocean Adventures 4.30 Hyundai A League 5.00 NFL Total Access 6.00 Boots ‘n’ All 7.00 European Tour Weekly 7.30 Total Rugby 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Great And British Dunlop Motorsports Festival 10.00 Cage Fighting: Ultimate Challenge UK 11.30 Trans World Sport 12.30am Max Power 1.30 Great North Run 2.00 Cage Fighting: Ultimate Challenge UK 3.30 Close
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2.00pm Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle 4.30 Oops TV 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 Futurama 8.00 Project Runway 9.00 Martina Cole’s The Take 10.00 Martina Cole’s The Take 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Fringe
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 The Real Hustle Las Vegas 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 MOBO Awards 2009 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 How Not To Live Your Life 12.20am Lunch Monkeys 12.50 Clever V Stupid 1.20 Don’t Tell The Bride 2.20 How Not To Live Your Life 2.50 Lunch Monkeys 3.20 Clever V Stupid
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The British Way Of Death 8.10 Seeing Salvation 9.00 The Art Of Dying 10.00 Mark Lawson Talks To Richard Wilson 11.00 Dan Cruickshank’s Adventures In Architecture 12.00am The Treasures Of Tutankhamun 12.50 Masterpieces Of The British Museum
1.00pm Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Judge Judy (x3) 6.35 FILM: Jurassic Park (1993) 9.00 Trinity 10.00 FILM: The Break-Up (2006) 12.10am FILM: Jurassic Park (1993) 2.30 Emmerdale 2.55 Teleshopping 3.25 The Montel Williams Show
12.45pm Heartbeat 1.50 Wycliffe 2.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.00 Drama Trails 5.15 Carry On Laughing 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Life 11.00 FILM: Immortal Beloved (1994) 1.25am Cane 2.10 The Return Of Sherlock Holmes
12.40pm Scrubs (x2) 1.35 Friends 2.05 Gilmore Girls 3.05 Veronica Mars 4.00 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Hollyoaks Later 10.00 FILM: Guess Who (2005) 12.05am Hollyoaks Later 1.10 Scrubs (x2)
6.05pm Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Relocation, Relocation 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Snowdon And Margaret: Inside A Royal Marriage 11.05 Saving Grace. See highlights. 12.05am Time Team 1.05 Snowdon And Margaret: Inside A Royal Marriage
11.00am The Card (1952) 12.50pm The Red Pony (1949) 2.35 The Barbarian And The Geisha (1958) 4.40 Boy On A Dolphin (1957) 6.50 Save The Last Dance (2001) 9.00 I, Robot (2004) 11.10 Lolita (1997) 1.50am Wish You Were Here (1987)
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thursday 1 october Captive For 18 Years: The Jaycee Lee Story Channel 4, 9pm As much as the story of an 11year-old kidnapped and kept in captivity for 18 years is not one we want to believe, it grabbed the world by the collar and demanded attention when it hit the papers. Here’s the full story to date, with testimonials from friends and family of Jaycee Lee.
Never Mind The Buzzcocks BBC2, 9.30pm Ho yes, it’s back – with a new team captain in the form of the irrepressible and rather surreal Noel Fielding and the first in a series of guest hosts – Gavin And Stacey’s James Corden. The big daddy of Buzzcocks, Phill Jupitus, will be returning with this new bunch, keeping them in line as the kids take over the schoolyard.
School Of Comedy E4, 10pm The latest in the Channel Four franchise’s exploration of new British comedy. After a storming reception at 2008’s Edinburgh Festival, this sketch show of kids playing adult roles with humour finally comes to the small screen. Featuring an un-PC teacher, some squabbling security guards and many more characters.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Cowboy Trap 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.45 Bernard 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Raven 4.35 SMart 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 LazyTown Extra 8.40 Postman Pat: SDS 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Grandpa In My Pocket 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary History 11.20 Science Clips 11.30 Class Clips 11.50 Focus 12.00pm Daily Politics Conference Special 1.00 Open House 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Living In The Sun 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two We get the latest news from inside the training rooms. 7.00 Victorian Farm Historical observational documentary. Ruth begins a tough task in the dairy. Alex tries his hand at beekeeping. 8.00 Masterchef The Professionals Four chefs tackle a skills test of boning out a pig’s trotter and a palate test of making sweet pancakes. The top three are then required to make two dishes in 50 minutes. Want! 8.45 Masterchef The Professionals It is the quarter finals, and the four winning chefs have to cook three courses of their own design for three restaurant critics. Only two can go through to the finals. The pretty one? 9.30 Never Mind The Buzzcocks See highlights. 10.00 Dragons’ Den Online Radio 1’s Dominic Byrne is our guide to Dragons’ Den Online, the underground version of the hit BBC Two show that has been operating exclusively online until now. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Today At Conference Highlights of the Labour Party’s annual conference in Brighton. 11.50 Dragons’ Den: On Tour The Dragons visit former contestants. 12.50am BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Year Dot Television 10.00 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.30 KNTV Sex 11.00 TV Is Dead? 11.30 Don’t Make Me Angry 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Proud Parents 12.45 A Place In The Sun 1.15 FILM: The League Of Gentlemen (1960) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 – 8.30am Children’s television 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.55 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Roobarb And Custard Too 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 I Own Britain’s Best Home 2009 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Up Close And Dangerous 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.15 FILM: Murder In Greenwich (2002) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale There is a surprise in store for Debbie and Cain when they gatecrash Michael’s wedding. 7.30 Countrywise Paul Heiney explores Britain. 8.00 Emmerdale Debbie and Cain arrive at Michael’s wedding in the nick of time – but will it end happily ever after for her? 8.30 Coronation Street Will Fiz and John finally tie the knot? Too many weddings in Soapland. They should consult and pace them out a bit. 9.00 The Bill A frightened youth tells Mel that his name is David Jarvis and he was imprisoned and abused five years earlier by a man called Gareth. But his sister is unable to confirm his identity. Known sex offender Gareth Hartill is arrested, and confesses to paying David for sex. Then gaping holes start to appear in the young man’s version of events. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Billy Connolly: Journey To The Edge Of The World Billy Connolly completes his journey through the remote regions of Canada, travelling from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific. 11.35 Surface Fantasy drama. 12.30am Motorsport UK 1.15 2009 Goodwood Revival 2.10 The Cosby Mysteries 3.00 Loose Women 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Calvin is struggling to cope with work at The Loft and the feud with Malachy doesn’t help matters. What have we learned about feuds? They last too long. Boring. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Location, Location, Location Kirstie and Phil help two couples with different budgets search for homes in Gloucestershire. Cosmopolitan couple Mel and Jon have lived in cities all over the world. Isobel and Chris are getting married in a few months and want to find a love nest. Ahh. 9.00 Captive For 18 Years: The Jaycee Lee Story See highlights. 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series about a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. The CSIs work with the FBI to investigate the murders of a young boy and a woman. Yes, it’s supposed to be on Channel 4, not a mistake. 11.00 Without A Trace American drama series about the FBI Missing Persons Squad. CSI’s very own Gil Grissom makes a guest appearance, helping Malone and his team to find the whereabouts of a serial killer. 11.55 Teachers Light-hearted drama about a group of young teachers. 1.00am Extreme Male Beauty 2.05 FILM: Twisted (2004) 3.40 Invasion 4.25 Reaper 5.10 Countdown 5.55 The Treacle People
6.00 Home And Away Miles and Kirsty come to an understanding. Ross tries to discover why Charlie is pulling away from him. Ruby looks for answers from Aunty Michelle. So many questions – if Auntie Michelle has any she’s got one up on most of Summer Bay. 6.30 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Europa League Football Live Europa League football action from the Group C clash between Celtic and Rapid Vienna at Celtic Park. Dave Woods provides the commentary. Kick-off is at 8.05pm. After that, it’s running around, shouting at the telly and demanding someone else get you a drink so you don’t miss a thing. 10.20 FILM: Maximum Risk (1996) Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Natasha Henstridge, Jean-Hugues Anglade, Zach Grenier. High-octane action thriller about a retired French soldier’s search for his twin brother’s killers. Unaware that he even had a twin until he found him dead on the streets of his home town, the policeman vows not only to avenge the murder, but also to uncover the truth about his own past. The trail soon leads him to a Russian syndicate based in New York. 12.10am SuperCasino 4.00 NFL Replay 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Champions League Goals 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 Boots ‘n’ All 12.00pm Champions League Goals 1.00 European Tour Weekly 1.30 Live European Tour Golf 5.30 Ryder Cup Wales 6.00 The Rugby Club 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 LIVE Snooker: Premier League 11.00 Time Of Our Lives 12.00am The Rugby Club 1.00 Barclays Premier League World 1.30 Time Of Our Lives 2.30 The Rugby Club 3.30 Barclays Premier League World 4.00 NFL 5.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 5.30 Barclays Premier League World
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders As Trina’s funeral approaches, is Lucas’s luck about to run out? Syed manages to juggle his love life, and a surprise punter turns up at the Vic. Hopefully not a previously dead one. 8.00 Watchdog Anne Robinson, Matt Allwright and Anita Rani right consumer wrongs, tackling the big names and businesses letting viewers down. Don’t mess. 9.00 The Secret Life Of Twins Twopart series that looks at some of the most fascinating identical twins in the world. How does one qualify for that title, apart from being an identical twin? 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time Question Time comes from Brighton, scene of the Labour Party conference. The panel includes David Starkey and Ian Hislop, and David Dimbleby chairs. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil and his resident helpers Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott. Rather entertaining politics. 12.20am Holiday Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Design For Life 1.55 Countryfile 2.55 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 3.35 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Boots ‘n’ All 9.00 Sailing 9.30 Great North Run 10.00 Canter Banter 10.30 Ocean Adventures 11.00 Great And British Dunlop Motorsports Festival 12.00pm Canter Banter 12.30 Trans World Sport 1.30 Great And British Dunlop Motorsports Festival 2.30 Canter Banter 3.00 Champions League Goals 4.00 Boots ‘n’ All 5.00 NFL 6.00 World Stunt Bike Championships 6.30 Show Jumping 7.30 LIVE Victory Shield Football 9.30 Barclays Premier League World 10.00 Show Jumping 11.00 NFL 12.00am Victory Shield Football 2.00 Ryder Cup Wales Creating A Lasting Legacy 2.30 Golf Night 4.30 The Dogs
Sky Sports 3 11.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Sailing 1.30 Great North Run 2.00 Ocean Adventures 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 WWE Vintage Collection 5.00 WWE Special 6.00 Great Run Series 6.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 7.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 7.30 Golf Night 9.30 WWE 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am WWE Special 1.30 Premier League Snooker Victoria Nangle
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2.00pm Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle 4.30 Oops TV 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 Futurama 8.00 Living With Size Zero 9.00 Martina Cole’s The Take (x2) 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Fringe 1.10 Road Wars 2.05 Stargate Atlantis (x2)
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Off The Hook 8.30 Clever V Stupid 9.00 Kids For Sale: Stacey Dooley Investigates 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Lunch Monkeys 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Kids For Sale: Stacey Dooley Investigates 12.50am Lunch Monkeys 1.20 Off The Hook
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 A Poet’s Guide To Britain 8.00 Electric Dreams 9.00 Charles Darwin And The Tree Of Life 10.00 Fear Of Fanny 11.20 Charlie Brooker’s Gameswipe 12.10am Upgrade Me 1.10 A Poet’s Guide To Britain 1.40 Fear Of Fanny 3.00 Charlie Brooker’s Gameswipe
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Primeval 8.00 Paris Hilton’s American Best Friend Forever 9.00 What Katie Did Next 10.00 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show 10.30 Entourage 11.05 Coronation Street 11.35 FILM: Passenger 57 (1993) 1.20am Emmerdale
12.55pm Heartbeat 1.50 Wycliffe 2.55 Monarch Of The Glen 4.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.00 Drama Trails 5.15 Carry On Laughing 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 7.55 The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes 9.00 Moll Flanders 10.00 Trial And Retribution 12.15am Profiling Ian Rankin 1.15 Numb3rs
5.00pm Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Hollyoaks Later 10.00 School Of Comedy. See highlights. 10.35 The Inbetweeners 11.10 Important Things With Demetri Martin 11.40 Peep Show 12.05am Hollyoaks Later
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Relocation, Relocation 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Jamie’s American Road Trip 10.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 11.05 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA
11.00am The Return (2003) 1.10pm Smoky (1946) 2.55 Belle Starr (1941) 4.40 The Drum (1938) 6.35 The Parent Trap (1998) 9.00 District 13 (2004) 10.40 Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) 12.55am Water Lilies (2007)
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friday 2 Friday Night With Streisand And Ross BBC1, 9pm You know someone’s a diva when they’ve got enough clout to have their name join the host’s in the title of the programme. It’s still a coup for Jono to be talking to Barbra, though, as this is her first British interview this century. Includes an overview of her life and tracks from her new album.
Benidorm ITV1, 9pm The award-winning sitcom returns, with as good a reason as any for the same characters to return to the same resort – a comp trip for the hostage situation last year. Bonza! There are also a few new faces popping up, like Martin’s new girlfriend, who’s keen to explore beyond the confines of the resort.
How I Met Your Mother E4, 7.35pm It’s being billed all across E4 as the new Friends, and with synopses like these, it’s easy to be convinced. Lily and Robin are gate-crashing a high school prom to – get this – check out if the band that’s playing is good enough to book for Marshall and Lily’s wedding at short notice. High-anxiety Monica twinned.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
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Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Animal 24:7 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Cowboy Trap 11.45 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.45 Bernard 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Wait For It..! 4.35 Hotel Trubble 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Grandpa In My Pocket 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Just So Darwin 11.15 KS1 Science Clips 11.25 Something Special 11.40 China Stories 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 FILM: Bengazi (1955) 2.15 Living In The Sun 3.00 Monk 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Year Dot Television 10.00 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.30 KNTV Sex 11.00 TV Is Dead? 11.30 Self Portrait UK 14-19 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 What’s In A Word? 12.45 A Place In The Sun 1.20 Channel 4 Racing 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.55 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Roobarb And Custard Too 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 I Own Britain’s Best Home 2009 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Nigel Marven’s Animal Detectives 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: Mermaid (2000) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Barclays Premier League World 9.30 The Rugby Club 10.30 Barclays Premier League World 11.00 Sky Sports Victory Shield Football 1.00pm LIVE Cricket: ICC Champions Trophy 10.00 Football League Weekend 11.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.30 Gillette World Sport 12.00am Super League 2.00 Boxing: Prizefighter 5.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 5.30 Gillette World Sport
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 8.00 EastEnders Lucas works hard to cover his tracks as the family lay Trina to rest, and Stacey takes a dramatic turn for the worse. 8.30 A Question Of Sport The popular sports quiz returns for a brand new series, with Sue Barker asking the questions to regular team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell. Yay! 9.00 Friday Night With Streisand And Ross See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw OJ Borg presents the EuroMillions results. Any relation to Bjorn Borg? 10.40 MOBO Awards 2009 Highlights from the MOBO Awards 2009. The event saw some of the world’s biggest stars descend on the SECC in Glasgow, Scotland for a stellar evening which included performances from Kelly Rowland, Keri Hilson, Jermaine Jackson, JLS, Chipmunk, Diversity, N-Dubz and Tinchy Stryder. 12.10am FILM: Out Cold (2001) 1.35 Weatherview 1.40 Sign Zone: MasterChef The Professionals 2.25 Home Time 2.55 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 3.40 News 5.00 Formula 1: The Japanese Grand Prix
6.00 Eggheads Dermot Murnaghan hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia breaks into the Strictly Come Dancing rehearsals and the Friday Panel looks forward to the weekend. Don’t we all? 7.00 Victorian Farm The team’s year on the farm is coming to an end. But first they have to bring in the wheat harvest, the most crucial part of the Victorian Farm calendar. 8.00 Mastermind Tonight’s subjects are: the Cazalet books of Elizabeth Jane Howard, the life and times of John Hume, Egyptology, and British New Wave cinema of the 1960s. 8.30 Gardeners’ World Inspired by the plants of the Orient, Toby Buckland adds Japanese azaleas and evergreen rhododendrons to the woodland garden at Greenacre. 9.00 Autumnwatch Autumnwatch returns in a new format celebrating UK wildlife. Crack open the balloons and bring on the blowers! 10.00 Autumnwatch Unsprung Autumnwatch Unsprung makes its debut with post-show, audience-led informal live discussion and debate. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review Roundtable arts discussion series. 11.35 Later... With Jools Holland Extended repeat of Tuesday’s show. 12.40am Medium (x2) 2.00 FILM: The Haunted House Of Horror (1969)
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Laurel is confused when Sally unexpectedly arrives at the vicarage with a packed suitcase. Contribution to the next bring’n’buy sale for the church roof? 7.30 Coronation Street Chesney is stunned by Fiz’s news. A desperate Darryl attempts to win Amber back. 8.00 The Property Regeneration Game: Tonight As house values continue to fluctuate, Jonathan Maitland investigates how changes in the property market are affecting government plans to regenerate housing in towns and cities. 8.30 Coronation Street Passions soar between Molly and Kevin. Chesney vents his wrath on Fiz. Jesse and Julie plot to deceive Eileen. 9.00 Benidorm See highlights. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Interpreter (2005) Starring Nicole Kidman, Sean Penn, Catherine Keener. Crime thriller. When a United Nations interpreter overhears a plot to assassinate the leader of an African state, a secret service agent is assigned to investigate. As he delves deeper into the allegation, he discovers that the interpreter has a murky past and begins to doubt her story. 12.55am FILM: The Missouri Breaks (1976) 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sasha is annoyed with Calvin. Brothers, eh? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.35 Unreported World Peter Oborne and George Waldrum uncover the worsening conflict between Muslims and Christians on the Filipino island of Mindanao, which has already claimed 100,000 lives. 8.00 Jamie At Home Jamie hopes to raise the profile of the allium family of vegetables, demonstrating their versatility and discussing their health benefits. Plus many layers. 8.30 The Big Food Fight Food quiz. Repeat of Tuesday’s show. 9.00 Derren Brown: How To Beat A Casino In his ambitious final event, Derren Brown attempts to win one viewer £175,000 when he bets £5,000 of their savings on a single spin of a roulette wheel. 10.00 Peep Show Sitcom. Jeremy realises that he is in love with Elena and attempts to win her affection. 10.35 The IT Crowd Sitcom. Worried that his life is stagnating, Moss enrols on a German cookery course. 11.10 The Inbetweeners Sitcom. 11.45 F1 Rocks Singapore Live 12.50am 4 Music: 4Play: Simian Mobile Disco 1.05 FILM: The Ice Storm (1997) 3.05 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 4.00 Gillette World Sport 4.25 Water Stories 4.40 Reaper 5.20 Countdown
6.00 Home And Away Ruby deals with Charlie and Xavier. 6.30 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Police Interceptors: Special Edition Special edition of the documentary series profiling the work of a high-speed police interception unit in Essex. 8.00 Brighton Beach Patrol Documentary series following the work of the police, lifeguards and RNLI volunteers who patrol Brighton’s world-famous beach. Police must step in when a domestic dispute turns nasty. Was it you? 9.00 NCIS Drama series following the Navy’s dedicated federal agency. McGee finds himself under pressure while investigating a double murder apparently inspired by his latest novel. His guilt is compounded when one of his colleagues is targeted by the killer. The weight of creativity. 10.00 FlashForward Sci-fi drama about a mysterious event that causes the population of the entire world to black out simultaneously. Repeat of last Sunday’s opening episode. 11.05 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Crime drama. Logan and Wheeler probe the murder of a police recruit. 12.05am SuperCasino 3.55 The FBI Files 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE: Raw 9.00 WWE Special 10.00 Race World 11.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 11.30 World Stunt Bike Championships 12.00pm ATP Tour Uncovered 12.30 The Rugby Club 1.30 Live European Tour Golf 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 Golf Night 9.00 LIVE: Live Boxing: Prizefighter 12.00am NFL - Total Access 1.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 1.30 Gillette World Sport 2.00 Golf Night 3.00 Super League 4.00 Football League Weekend 5.00 NFL - Total Access
Sky Sports 2
Sky Sports 3 6.00am The Dogs 6.30 Show Jumping 7.30 Premier League Snooker 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Race World 2.00 Victory Shield Football 4.00 WWE Raw 6.00 Tight Lines 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 Live Super League 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 WWE Special 2.00 Football League Weekend 3.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 3.30 Super League 5.30 Wild Spirits
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
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BBC4
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2.00pm Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle 4.30 Oops TV 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 Futurama 8.00 Grease: The School Musical 9.00 FILM: Jerry Maguire (1996) 11.40 Ross Kemp: In Search Of Pirates 12.40am Fringe 1.50 Road Wars
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Merlin 8.45 Merlin: Secrets And Magic 9.00 Tough Guy Or Chicken? 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.20am Lunch Monkeys 12.50 How Not To Live Your Life 1.20 Harper’s Island (x2) 2.40 Lunch Monkeys 3.10 Tough Guy Or Chicken?
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Leeds International Piano Competition 2009 8.30 Transatlantic Sessions 9.00 Madness At Glastonbury 10.00 Young Guns Go For It 10.40 The Liberty Of Norton Folgate 11.45 Spiral II 12.35am Madness: Take It Or Leave It 2.00 Lucinda Williams At Cambridge Folk Festival
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Judge Judy (x2) 6.15 The X Factor (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Matrix (1999) 11.45 What Katie Did Next 12.45am Coronation Street (x2) 1.45 The Xtra Factor (x2) 3.30 Emmerdale 3.55 Teleshopping 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen
12.45pm Heartbeat 1.50 Wycliffe 2.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.00 Drama Trails 5.15 Carry On Laughing 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Life 10.00 FILM: The Molly Maguires (1970) 12.30am Flashpoint 1.25 Wycliffe 2.20 The Charmer
3.55pm The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 How I Met Your Mother. See highlights. 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Hollyoaks Later 10.00 Hollyoaks: The Good, The Bad And The Gorgeous 11.05 Celebrity Wife Swap 12.05am Hollyoaks Later 1.10 Scrubs (x2)
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Relocation, Relocation 8.00 More4 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: The Fisher King (1991) 11.45 The World’s Biggest Penis 12.45am FILM: The Fisher King (1991) 3.25 The World’s Biggest Penis
11.00am The Enforcer (1951) 12.40pm Kipps (1942) 2.55 Come Next Spring (1956) 4.45 D-Day The Sixth Of June (1956) 6.50 That Thing You Do! (1996) 9.00 Equilibrium (2002) 11.00 Renaissance (2006) 1.00am Them (2005)
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saturday 3 Merlin BBC1, 6.15pm It may bear no relation to the original legend or Mallory’s classic Le Morte D’Arthur text, but it’s blinking good fun with pretty magic in it, too. Yay! Not everyone’s so happy with the nice magic, though, as Morgana’s nightmares get more out of hand and Gaius is determined to keep the magical reason from her.
Monty Python (Almost) The Truth BBC2, 9.15pm Fasten your seatbelts, it’s Monty Python night, kicking off with this biography about how a revolutionary institution started with the gathering of a group of rather silly men. Next up is their very own film of sketches, and Movie Connections on what they did next. Very naughty boys.
A Touch Of Frost ITV3, 9pm David Jason’s Frost has troubles tonight. Not only has he got to work with DS Marsh – a by the book fellow who made a formal complaint about Frost and got our poor chap suspended previously – but the unhappy pair have got to find a missing bus driver and his conductress. Curious. As is the death of the kids’ entertainer.
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Sky Sports 1
7.30am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 The Hairy Bakers 12.00pm BBC News 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Formula 1: The Japanese Grand Prix 2.15 Snooker: Grand Prix 4.30 Final Score 5.25 BBC News 5.35 South East Today 5.45 Hole In The Wall
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Bits And Bobs 7.00 Dennis & Gnasher 7.15 Dennis & Gnasher 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 What’s New Scooby Doo? 8.00 Gimme A Break 8.30 TMi 10.00 My Almost Famous Family 10.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.30 Animals At Work 12.00pm The Cut 12.25 Off The Hook 12.55 The 5:19 Show 1.10 Chart Jackers 1.15 Kyle XY 2.00 Revealed 2.15 Animal Park 2.45 FILM: The First Great Train Robbery (1978) 4.30 Sacred Music 5.30 Flog It! 6.15 Autumnwatch Autumnwatch returns in a new format celebrating UK wildlife. Live from the BBC Natural History Unit in Bristol, Chris Packham and Kate Humble share their adventures of the last few days in a wildlife-rich cider orchard. Sounds almost like the Famous Five. 7.15 Autumnwatch Unsprung Autumnwatch Unsprung. 7.45 Dad’s Army Classic wartime sitcom. Private Godfrey’s humble abode, Cherry Tree Cottage, is threatened with demolition to make way for a new aerodrome. 8.15 Three Lives Of Gandhi Three Lives of Gandhi. 9.15 Monty Python (Almost) The Truth See highlights. 10.15 FILM: And Now For Something Completely Different (1972) Starring Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin and Terry Jones. The first film version of classic sketches and memorable moments from the Monty Python television series. 11.40 Movie Connections In 1974, the Monty Python team decided to try their hand at making a feature film. The result, Monty Python And The Holy Grail, has become a cult classic. The gang explain how this came about despite a series of disasters. 12.20am Shooting Stars 12.50 Snooker: Grand Prix 1.40 Snooker: Grand Prix Extra 3.40 Inside F1
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Horrid Henry 9.40 Scratch ‘n’ Sniff’s Den Of Doom 10.10 Tricky Quickies 10.15 FILM: Help! I’m A Fish (2000) 11.45 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 12.15pm ITV News And Weather 12.20 FILM: Agatha Christie’s A Caribbean Mystery (1983) 2.05 The X Factor 3.35 FILM: Wild Wild West (1999) 5.30 Meridian News And Weather 5.45 ITV News And Weather
6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 Avon Tyres British GT Championship 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.30 Rimmel London Presents The World’s Greatest Pop Star: Eminem 10.30 Friends 11.00 Mika: Video Exclusive 11.10 P. Diddy’s Starmaker 12.05pm Scrubs 12.40 4Music Favourites: Shakira 1.10 Scrubs 1.45 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 The TV Show 4.30 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00 Britain Does The Funniest Things Stephen Mulhern reveals some of the unusual things that our ancestors got up to in Tudor times. 7.00 The Cube Last in the series of the gameshow in which contestants must brave a series of challenges under the spotlights of the Cube in a bid to win a big cash prize. Say it ain’t so! No more random tasks to debate the difficulty of with flatmates, or families to watch crumble as one person continues to risk clearing the mortgage. Ach! 8.00 The X Factor The X Factor goes global, as the 24 remaining acts jet off around the world to the judges’ houses. Simon is at his home in Los Angeles, while Cheryl is in Marrakech, Louis is in Italy and Dannii is in Dubai. 9.30 FILM: You, Me And Dupree (2006) Starring Owen Wilson, Matt Dillon, Kate Hudson. Chaotic comedy in which a newlywed couple’s bliss is shattered when the husband’s best friend moves into their marital home. 11.35 ITV News And Weather 11.50 FILM: The Jerk (1979) Starring Steve Martin. Zany comedy about a white man, adopted and brought up by a family of black sharecroppers, who sets out to find his place in the world. 1.30am FILM: Missing (1982) 3.35 Crossing Jordan 4.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 Come Dine With Me Cookerybased reality show in which chefs compete for the title of ultimate dinner host. Darren, the only male cook amongst the Devon diners, tries to win over his guests with a Mexican-themed party. Break out the pinata! What shape would you make yours? 6.35 Channel 4 News 7.05 FILM: Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King (2003) Starring Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Liv Tyler, Viggo Mortensen and Sean Astin. The last instalment of the fantasy trilogy based on Tolkien’s epic tale. The final battle for Middle Earth sees Frodo and Sam, guided by Gollum, approach Mordor on their quest to destroy the One Ring. Gandalf and Pippin ride to Minas Tirith to help defend Gondor, while Aragorn leads the forces of good against the Eye of Sauron. 10.50 Ricky Gervais: Politics A stand-up performance by Ricky Gervais, filmed during his highly acclaimed Politics tour. Includes an entire performance of the show and behind-the-scenes glimpses at his antics on the road, and a possible explanation of why his support act is now in therapy. The phrase ‘bullying big brother’ springs to mind. 12.30am 4 Music: 4Play: Zero 712.45 FILM: Junglee (1961) 3.15 The Bypass 3.30 Invasion 4.15 Ozone 4.30 Reaper 5.15 Countdown
6.00 – 8.10am Children’s television 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Rupert Bear 8.45 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.55 Olivia 9.10 Little Princess 9.25 The Milky And Shake Show 9.30 The Mr. Men Show 9.45 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10.00 NFL UK 11.00 Everybody Hates Chris 11.25 Fifth Gear 11.30 The Gadget Show 12.30pm Megastructures: Built From Disaster 1.30 FILM: Madron (1970) 3.20 FILM: Hanover Street (1979) 5.20 Five News 5.30 FILM: Rooster Cogburn (1975) 7.20 NCIS Drama series following a team of special agents who investigate crimes connected to Navy and Marine Corps personnel. The NCIS team receives an anonymous tip from a CIA employee who unwittingly witnessed a murder via satellite, and must figure out why a Navy Lieutenant was stabbed to death while testing a high-tech classified device. Tricky. 8.20 NCIS Drama series. The team is assigned another case when the leg of a missing marine is found in a dumpster in West Virginia. 9.15 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. Danny and Lindsay investigate the death of a vodka spokeswoman dressed as an ice queen who was murdered with her sceptre at a promotional event. 10.15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. The murder trial of a prominent congressman is interrupted by a violent suicide. The CSIs have until the following morning to re-examine the new evidence. 11.15 Law And Order: SVU Drama series. The team investigates when a newborn baby is found in a pile of rubbish. 12.15am SuperCasino 4.00 The FBI Files 4.50 Rough Guide To Cities 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.00 Football League Weekend 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Saturday 12.30 LIVE Football League: Championship 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.15 LIVE Super League 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice 11.45 Football First: Match Choice 1.15am Football First: Match Choice 2.45 Football First: Match Choice 4.15 Football First: Match Choice 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
6.15 Merlin See highlights. 7.00 Strictly Come Dancing The stakes are raised as all 14 remaining celebrities go head to head for the first time. They’re hoping to impress with their fancy footwork as they take on either a Quickstep or Paso Doble. One unlucky couple will be hanging up their dancing shoes as they find out who will be leaving the competition for good. Plus music legend Andy Williams performs. 9.15 The National Lottery Draws Jenni Falconer is live from Lottery HQ with the weekend draws. 9.25 Casualty Remember the days when it was all about how Duffy was keeping Charlie in line with his ‘ladies man’ ways, and watching out for the house fire as the chip pan got knocked over by the running child? Us neither. We’re not that old. Really. 10.15 BBC News 10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from five Premier League games. Does anyone else hanker back to the swarthy moustache of Dickie Davies delivering all the football news? Before our time. Truely. 11.40 The Football League Show Manish Bhasin is joined by Steve Claridge for goals and highlights from the Football League. 12.55am Weatherview 1.00 BBC News 5.00 Formula 1: The Japanese Grand Prix
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Max Power 7.00 KPWT World Tour 7.30 LIVE Rugby Union 9.30 Rugby Union: Currie Cup 11.00 Cricket: ICC Champions Trophy 1.00pm LIVE Cricket: ICC Champions Trophy 10.00 Cricket: ICC Awards 2009 11.00 Super League 1.00am Spanish Football 2.30 Cricket: ICC Awards 2009 3.30 Premiership Rugby Union 4.30 WWE Hell In A Cell Preview 5.00 Cricket: ICC Awards 2009
Sky Sports 3 6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 World Stunt Bike Championships 7.00 Cricket: ICC Champions Trophy 9.00 America’s Game 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 WWE Hell In A Cell Preview 1.30 Live European Tour Golf 5.30 Ryder Cup Wales: Creating A Lasting Legacy 6.00 LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 WWE Hell In A Cell Preview 10.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.30am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.30 WWE Hell In A Cell Preview 3.00 Super League 5.00 NFL: Total Access
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12.00pm Futurama (x2) 1.00 Don’t Forget The Lyrics 2.00 The Real A & E 3.00 WWE 5.00 Grease: The School Musical 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 UK Border Force (x2) 11.00 Road Wars 12.00am Football Behind Bars
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 The Real Hustle On Holiday (x2) 9.00 Little Britain 9.30 How Not To Live Your Life (x3) 11.00 Jack Dee Live At The Apollo 11.50 Family Guy (x2) 12.35am Harper’s Island (x2) 1.55 How Not To Live Your Life (x3) 3.25 The Real Hustle On Holiday (x2) 4.25 Off The Hook 4.55 Clever V Stupid 5.30 Close
7.00pm The PreRaphaelites 7.30 Britain’s Best Drives 8.00 Mark Lawson Talks To Richard Wilson 9.00 David Lean In Close-Up With Jonathan Ross 10.30 FILM: In Which We Serve (1942) 12.20am David Lean And His Dedicated Maniacs 12.50 Mark Lawson Talks To Richard Wilson
5.15pm Paris Hilton’s American Best Friend Forever 6.15 FILM: Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) 8.00 Real Families: My Skin Could Kill Me 9.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.30 The Xtra Factor 10.30 Jack Osbourne: Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie 11.30 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show (x3) 1.00am The X Factor
8.30am FILM: Pillow Talk (1959) 10.35 Kavanagh QC 12.10pm Cadfael 1.50 Jane Eyre 4.05 Poirot 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Inspector Morse 7.55 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 A Touch Of Frost. See highlights. 11.00 FILM: The Killing Fields (1984) 1.45am Brideshead Revisited 2.35 On The Buses
9.50am Heartland 10.50 Privileged 11.50 The Hills (x5) 2.20pm Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 David Blaine: Drowned Alive 10.00 David Blaine: Magic Man 11.00 FILM: Guess Who (2005) 1.05am Supernanny US (x2) 2.35 Gok’s Fashion Fix
9.00am A Place In The Sun 9.30 Time Team (x3) 12.35pm FILM: The Battle Of The Bulge (1965) 3.45 3 Minute Wonder (x3) 4.00 Relocation, Relocation (x5) 9.15 TV Adverts’ Greatest Hits 11.30 Popwhore 12.45am TV Adverts’ Greatest Hits 2.55 Popwhore
11.00am The Woodlanders (1997) 1.00pm Akeelah And The Bee (2006) 3.05 The Black Swan (1942) 4.45 The African Queen (1951) 6.50 In Good Company (2004) 9.00 Austin Powers In Goldmember (2001) 10.50 Night Watch (2004) 1.05am Kontroll (2003)
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sunday 4 Film: Monsters, Inc Five, 6.15pm Psst! Wanna know a secret? Remember when you used to think there were monsters in your wardrobe? You were right! Sulley and Mike are just two jobbing monsters, collecting children’s fear to power their monster-land. Then one ‘ittle bittle child gets through and all hell breaks loose. Absolutely fantastic.
Alison Jackson On Andy Warhol: The South Bank Show Channel 4, 10.15pm Award-winning artist Alison Jackson investigates popular culture’s obsession with celebrity and how that manifested further through the works of Andy Warhol. His style is iconic – but is there an underlying irony in his marketing of the star?
Harper’s Island BBC3, 9pm & 9.40pm More grisly deaths of beautiful young things ahoy, but first a few revelations from Wakefield’s diary for Abby. Was her mother a floozy? Her father a tyrant? Her serial killer a truly sensitive fellow? None of these would be good. Elsewhere, tunnels are discovered under the inn offering new ways to die. Hurrah!
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8.10am Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 EastEnders 2.00 Formula 1: The Japanese Grand Prix 4.15 EastEnders 5.15 Songs Of Praise 5.50 BBC News
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Bits And Bobs 7.00 Uncle Max 7.10 Diddy Dick And Dom 7.15 OOglies 7.30 Prank Patrol 8.00 Da Dick And Dom Dairies 8.30 M.I. High 9.00 Undercover Dads 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Animal Park 12.30pm MotoGP 2009: Round 14 Estoril 2.00 Racing From Longchamp: Prix De L’Arc De Triomphe 3.50 Snooker: Grand Prix 5.30 Rugby League: Super League Play-offs
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Paz 9.35 Captain Mack 9.50 Emu 10.05 Tricky Quickies 10.10 Coronation Street Omnibus 12.25pm ITV News And Weather 12.30 Columbo: Etude In Black 2.30 The X Factor 4.00 FILM: You Only Live Twice (1967)
6.00am The Hoobs 6.25 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 7.20 Ironman UK 8.15 The McCain Track And Field Show 8.45 Friends 9.15 Hollyoaks 11.45 90210 12.45pm Rimmel London Presents The World’s Greatest Pop Star: Justin Timberlake 1.50 Ugly Betty 2.45 Ugly Betty 3.45 The Simpsons 4.15 The Simpsons 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.35 Scrapheap Challenge
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice 8.00 Football First: Match Choice 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Football First: Match Choice 11.30 Football First: Match Choice 1.00am Scottish Premier League 1.30 Spanish Football 3.30 Scottish Premier League 4.00 Football First: Match Choice 5.30 Scottish Premier League
6.05 South East Today 6.15 Land Girls Period drama series. Farmer Finch hires some ‘trekkers’, families displaced by the bombing, as cheap labour, but when there is then a break-in at the manor house Lady Hoxley orders Finch to get rid of them all. A riot ensues and Tucker gets the dogs out. Who let the dogs out?! 7.00 Countryfile Hedgerows and fields may feature, but we’re not making any promises about badgers. 8.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team return for a second visit to the Tower Ballroom in Blackpool. Maybe if we ask nicely we’ll get an old-fashioned waltz. 9.00 Emma Emma. You know, that meddling girl Jane Austin was always so fond of. With the pretty bonnet. Yes, her. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow Michael McIntyre visits some of the UK’s most prestigious venues. Rhod Gilbert headlines at the Edinburgh Playhouse, with cuttingedge stand-up from Kevin Bridges, Stewart Francis and Mark Watson. 11.05 Friday Night With Streisand And Ross Repeat of Friday’s exceptional interview. 12.05am The Sky At Night 12.25 Weatherview D12.30 Sign Zone: Last Chance To See 1.30 Holby City 2.30 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 3.15 BBC News
6.35 Meerkat Manor Documentary looking at a family of meerkats on the edge of the Kalahari Desert. Very sought-after area, don’t you know. 7.00 Top Gear The guys compete in an epic race across London: Jeremy in a speed boat, James in a car, Richard on his push bike and the Stig on public transport. It’ll be hot in that helmet on the bus. 8.00 Last Chance To See Stephen Fry and zoologist Mark Carwardine head to New Zealand in search of animals near extinction. They want to find the last remaining kakapo – a fat, flightless parrot which, when threatened with attack, adopts a strategy of standing very still. Clever. 9.00 Charley Boorman: Sydney To Tokyo By Any Means Charley Boorman sets off again, this time starting his adventure in Sydney and travelling to Tokyo. The first episode sees Charley leaving Sydney with a huge biker convoy in tow as he travels up the East Coast of Australia. 10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Highlights of today’s games and all the goals from yesterday’s matches in the Premier League. 11.10 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Repeat of Thursday’s programme. 11.40 Monty Python (Almost) The Truth Same as yesterday’s show. 12.40am Snooker: Grand Prix Highlights 1.30 Snooker: Grand Prix Extra 3.30 The Super League Show
6.15 Meridian News; Weather 6.30 ITV News And Weather 6.45 You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill introduces more home videos. 7.15 All Star Family Fortunes Vernon Kay hosts the fun-packed gameshow. McFly’s Danny Jones and his family play for When You Wish Upon A Star, and battle against actress Zoe Lucker and her clan, playing for The Forget Me Not Trust. 8.00 The X Factor It is make or break time for the 24 remaining hopefuls – at the end of today’s show they will find out whether they have been chosen for the live stages. To be honest, the previous bits didn’t look that un-live. 9.00 Doc Martin Gentle comedydrama. PC Penhale is delighted when his beloved older brother returns. 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 Alison Jackson On Andy Warhol: The South Bank Show Artist Alison Jackson investigates our obsession with celebrity through the works of Andy Warhol. Was his work a celebration of such culture, or was there an underlying irony? 11.15 Crossing Jordan Crime drama series about a medical examiner. 12.10am Guinness Premiership Rugby 1.00 The Other Side 1.55 UEFA Champions League Weekly 2.20 Kojak 3.15 Countrywise 3.40 The Property Regeneration Game: Tonight 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 The Genius Of Charles Darwin Richard Dawkins presents a guide to Charles Darwin and his revolutionary theory of natural selection. Professor Dawkins elaborates on the Theory of Evolution’s suggestion that humans are merely the fifth ape. 8.00 Come Dine With Me Four cooks from north London battle for the £1,000 prize, including a selfstyled urban hippy, a Greek luxury car dealer and an Israeli property developer. Sounds like a joke. 9.00 Kevin McCloud’s Grand Tour Of Europe Kevin sets off from Rome to follow the journey of Robert Adam, the most influential neoclassical architect of the 18th century. We knew that. 10.00 FILM: The 51st State (2001) Starring Samuel L Jackson, Robert Carlyle, Nigel Whitmey, Emily Mortimer, Meat Loaf. Fast-paced thriller about an American criminal whose plans to sell his formula for an illegal drug and retire from the game go awry. 11.45 My Name Is Earl US comedy. Catalina helps Earl cross off number 75 on his list: ‘used a mailbox as a trash can’. 12.15am My Name Is Earl 12.50 FILM: Mere Mehboob (1963) 3.50 Invasion 4.30 Reaper 5.10 Countdown 5.55 The Treacle People
6.00 – 8.15am Children’s television 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Rupert Bear 8.45 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.10 Little Princess 9.30 The Mr. Men Show 9.45 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 10.00 Snobs 10.30 Wizards Of Waverly Place 11.00 Hannah Montana 11.35 The Tribe 12.05pm Zoo Days 12.15 Farmer Wants A Wife 1.15 Brighton Beach Patrol 2.20 FILM: Murder At The Gallop (1963) 3.55 FILM: Fly Away Home (1996) 5.55 Five News 6.05 FILM: Mike’s New Car (2002) Starring John Goodman and Billy Crystal. Short animated film starring Mike and Sulley, the friendly ogres from ‘Monsters Inc’. Love ‘em. 6.15 FILM: Monsters, Inc (2001) See highlights. 8.05 Man-Eating Leopards: Austin Stevens Adventures Wildlife documentary series with photographer Austin Stevens. Austin heads to South Africa for a close encounter with the most elusive big cat on the continent – the leopard. The ultimate goal of his mission is to photograph a mother and cub together. Isn’t that a bit dangerous? 9.00 FILM: xXx2: The Next Level (2005) Starring Ice Cube, Samuel L Jackson, Willem Dafoe, Peter Strauss and Xzibit. Action movie sequel. An internal military threat to overthrow the government leads US intelligence to recruit a dangerous renegade from the ghetto to be the new secret agent XXX. Can it be a sequel if it’s pretty much the same story? Discuss. 10.55 FlashForward Repeat. 11.55 UFC 103: Main Event Action from a top Ultimate Fighting Championship bout. Former Champion Vitor ‘the Phenom’ Belfort returns to battle. A tad scary. 12.55am NFL Live 4.40 NFL Classics 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Premiership Rugby Union 7.00 Cricket: ICC Awards 2009 8.00 Spanish Football 9.30 Cricket: ICC Awards 2009 10.30 Cricket: ICC Champions Trophy 12.30pm LIVE European Tour Golf 5.30 LIVE NFL 9.00 LIVE NFL 12.30am Championship Rugby League 2.30 Golf Night 4.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 WWE Hell In A Cell Preview 7.30 WWE Special 8.30 WWE Hell In A Cell Preview 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 WWE Hell In A Cell Preview 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm LIVE Scottish Premier League 3.00 LIVE Championship Rugby League 8.00 Scottish Premier League 8.30 LIVE NASCAR 11.00 WWE Hell In A Cell Preview 11.30 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.30am WWE Hell In A Cell Preview 1.00 Watersports World 2.00 Close
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1.30pm Oops TV 2.00 Project Runway 3.00 Bones (x2) 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Grease: The School Musical 7.30 The Simpsons (x2) 8.30 House... An Insider’s Guide 9.00 House 10.00 Fringe (x2) 11.10 Fringe:Access All Areas 11.40 Road Wars 12.40am Night Cops
7.00pm Formula 1: The Japanese Grand Prix 7.45 Doctor Who Christmas Special 9.00 Harper’s Island (x2). See highlights. 10.20 Family Guy (x2) 11.10 How Not To Live Your Life 11.40 Lunch Monkeys 12.10am Harper’s Island (x2) 1.35 Tough Guy Or Chicken? 2.35 Formula 1: The Japanese Grand Prix
7.00pm Upgrade Me 8.00 Designing The Decades 9.00 Electric Dreams 10.00 Spiral II 10.55 Madness At Glastonbury 11.55 Madness: Take It Or Leave It 1.20am The Liberty Of Norton Folgate 2.25 Upgrade Me 3.25 Madness At Glastonbury
2.30pm Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 3.30 The Funny Side Of The Farm 4.00 The Xtra Factor 5.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 5.30 The X Factor 7.00 The Xtra Factor 8.00 Coleen’s Real Women 9.00 The Xtra Factor 10.00 Trinity 11.00 What Katie Did Next 12.00am Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show 12.30 Entourage
7.05am Jeeves And Wooster 8.10 Heartbeat (x2) 10.10 Jane Eyre 12.30pm FILM: Summer Holiday (1963) 2.40 Inspector Morse 4.45 Poirot 6.55 Agatha Christie’s Sparkling Cyanide 9.00 Sherlock: Case Of Evil 11.00 Profiling Ian Rankin 12.00am PD James: Taste For Death 1.05 On The Buses (x2)
12.10pm Dark Angel (x2) 2.00 Reaper (x2) 3.55 Beauty And The Geek 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Ugly Betty 7.00 Privileged 7.55 Hollyoaks: The Good, The Bad And The Gorgeous 9.00 Friends (x2) 10.00 FILM: The Ringer (2005) 11.50 Frank Skinner Live At The Birmingham Hippodrome 12.55am Supernanny US
9.00am A Place In The Sun 9.30 Scrapheap Challenge (x4) 1.50pm How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 4.40 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.30 Jamie At Home 8.00 River Cottage Autumn 9.00 The Family 10.00 Captive For 18 Years: The Jaycee Lee Story 11.10 The IT Crowd (x2) 12.15am Curb Your Enthusiasm
11.00am Doctor In Distress (1963) 1.00pm The Parent Trap (1998) 3.15 Niagara (1952) 7.00 America’s Sweethearts (2001) 9.00 Monster-in-Law (2005) 10.55 Raising Arizona (1987) 12.45am The Man From Elysian Fields (2001)
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monday 5 Lady In The Mask 10 Years On: Tonight ITV1, 8pm After the Paddington rail crash Pam Warren’s ravaged face was on the front page of every newspaper, proclaiming the mistakes that cost 31 lives. Ten years on the rail industry is trying to convince her to once again travel by train, something she’s not done since the accident.
Criminal Justice BBC1, 9pm You know when everything seems absolutely rosy from the outside and then, with one fell catalyst, everything starts to tumble down like a game of Jenga? That’s what happens to Juliet Miller’s life, and that of her family, in this thriller. With a lovely husband and beautiful daughter, there’s a lot to lose.
The Life And Death Of A Mobile Phone BBC4, 9pm Following the life cycle of one mobile phone, this documentary looks at its place in a society where one in two people have one, and people are not only dumped by text, but ignored in reality in preference to virtual conversations, and forced to listen to others’ chatter.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Bear Behaving Badly 3.45 Bernard 3.50 OOglies 4.05 School Of Silence 4.35 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Deadly 60 8.30 Tommy Zoom 8.40 Big Barn Farm 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Grandpa In My Pocket 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Let’s Write Poetry: The Big Slam 11.20 KS1 Science Clips 11.30 Primary History 11.40 Seasonal Snapshots 12.00pm Daily Politics Conference Special 1.00 Working Lunch 1.30 Snooker: Grand Prix 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman returns with all the backstage gossip. 7.00 Snooker: Grand Prix Shaun Murphy begins his Grand Prix campaign this evening. 8.00 University Challenge University of St Andrews is up against Somerville College, Oxford in another first round match. 8.30 Masterchef The Professionals Four chefs tackle a skills test of butterflying prawns and a palate test of making pesto, with the top three then required to make two dishes in 50 minutes. 9.00 Design For Life Design students compete for a six-month placement at Philippe Starck’s design agency. The eight remaining students are disgraced after their failure to interpret the brief correctly. D’oh! 10.00 Home Time Dad Roy decides to spruce up Gaynor’s room ‘now she’s having boys over’. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Today At Conference Coverage of the day’s events at the party conferences. 11.50 Charley Boorman: Sydney To Tokyo By Any Means 12.50am Snooker: Grand Prix Highlights 1.40 Snooker: Grand Prix Extra 3.40 BBC News 4.00 Taking Issue (x5) 5.35 Worlds Of Belief
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.05am The Hoobs 6.30 Rimmel London Presents The World’s Greatest Pop Star: Contenders 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.30 Year Dot Television 10.00 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.30 KNTV Sex 11.00 Britain’s Deadliest Addictions 11.30 The Family: Teen Stories 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Glamour Puds 1.00 Proud Parents: Paul Rankin 1.10 FILM: Always (1987) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Jake is unsure about returning home but Dr Sanders informs him he is arranging his immediate release. Blimey! 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Dispatches: Who Took Your Pension? Lifting the lid on the current pensions crisis. Along with naming some of the blue-chip companies that have abandoned final salary pension schemes, this also reveals the extent to which public sector pensions are under threat. 9.00 The Sky Walker: Daredevils Dean Potter is the only person in the world who performs extreme slacklining, a variation of tightropewalking which sees him crossing canyons on a bouncy stretch of rope only one inch wide without using a pole for balance or any kind of safety harness. Bet he never fell over in PE. 10.00 Derren Brown: How To Beat A Casino Repeat of Friday’s show. 11.05 Dawn Porter: The Polygamist’s Wife From a whole American town of polygamists to a family hiding while the husband finds a third wife, Dawn meets the women who share their men. 12.10am No Angels 1.10 FILM: Romy And Michele’s High School Reunion (1997) 2.40 Invasion 3.20 Reaper 4.00 Sarah Moves On 5.30 Ancient Egypt (x2)
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The Wot Wots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 I Own Britain’s Best Home 2009 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Britain’s Bravest 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.00 FILM: Agent Of Influence (2002) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Football First: Match Choice 10.30 Scottish Premier League 11.00 Spanish Football 1.00pm LIVE Cricket: ICC Champions Trophy 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 SPL Round-Up 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Time Of Our Lives 2.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 Home And Away Ruby and Geoff arrive home. Ross makes a decision about his future. 6.30 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.30 How Do They Do It? The crew discover how Cold War military hardware is being recycled into something completely different. Cool. 8.00 The Gadget Show In a moneysaving special, Jason tests entrylevel laptops with Keith Chegwin and Joe Pasquale, and Jon takes a look at low-cost digital cameras. 9.00 FlashForward Sci-fi drama. Mark and Demetri track a suspect who may be connected to the global blackout, and Olivia meets the man from her vision. 10.00 Ross Noble’s Australian Trip Ross cuts across New South Wales, through the towns of Wagga, Woollongong and Taree. He stops off to look at the world’s second largest playable guitar, a giant oyster above a car showroom and a service-station replica of Ayres Rock. Lovin’ it. 11.00 FILM: Poltergeist III (1988) Starring Heather O’Rourke, Tom Skerritt, Nancy Allen, Lara Boyle. Eerie horror sequel in which spirits from the netherworld return to play havoc with the psyches of a little girl. 12.50am SuperCasino 3.00 NASCAR Sprint Cup 3.55 NHRA Drag Racing 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Bang Goes The Theory The team take on more scientific challenges. Jem Stansfield decides to build a rocket powered by toffee. Run that by us again, powered by what?! 8.00 EastEnders Stacey’s condition worsens, and Roxy stops worrying about Ronnie – but is that a mistake? 8.30 Panorama It’s a secret. Watch it and find out all the important stories and how they came about. 9.00 Criminal Justice See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Graham Norton entertains us with his quips, sketches and lovely guests. 11.20 FILM: The Lonely Guy (1984) Starring Steve Martin, Charles Grodin. Comedy about a struggling writer in New York who has his world turned upside down when he comes home and discovers his girlfriend in bed with another man. When he meets a melancholy soulmate who befriends him, the writer decides to change his life and writes a book. 12.45am Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: Watchdog 1.50 Bang Goes The Theory 2.20 Wildest Dreams 3.20 MasterChef The Professionals 3.50 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 4.35 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Cain is not happy to find that he and Debbie have a new lodger. Maybe The Littlest Hobo has arrived. Just keeps movin’ on. 7.30 Coronation Street Kevin has an intriguing proposition for Molly. John has a request for the entire street. Please be nice to Fiz? About time. 8.00 Lady In The Mask 10 Years On: Tonight See highlights. 8.30 Coronation Street Will Sally be able to stop John from returning to the Street? Molly and Kevin get a taste of what life could be like. 9.00 Blue Murder In the first of a two-part story, the team try to find the killer of Peter Williams, a private investigator found dead in a car park. Williams worked for a very shady PI company and everyone involved in the firm seem to have something to hide. What did you last hide? 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Hard Target (1993) Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Lance Henriksen. Martial arts adventure about a New Orleans merchant sailor who stumbles upon a deadly game in which groups of sadistic hunters pursue human prey. 12.20am British Touring Car Championship Highlights 1.40 Loose Women 2.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Championship Rugby League 10.00 NASCAR 12.00pm Championship Rugby League 2.00 Scottish Premier League 2.30 Football First: Match Choice 4.00 Scottish Premier League 4.30 Ryder Cup Wales: Creating A Lasting Legacy 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Ocean Adventures 6.00 LIVE Darts: World Grand Prix 12.00am World Poker Tour 1.30 Elite League Speedway 3.30 World Poker Tour 5.00 Formula Kart Stars 5.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 10.00am Ryder Cup Wales: Creating A Lasting Legacy 10.30 Golf Night 12.30pm NFL Gameday 2.00 Max Power 3.00 Wild Spirits 3.30 WWE Raw 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 SPL Round-Up 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE Elite League Speedway 9.30 Spirit Of Yachting 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Spirit Of Yachting 4.45 Close
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
1.00pm Project Runway 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle 4.30 Oops TV 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 Futurama (x2) 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 UK Border Force (x2) 11.00 Football Behind Bars 12.00am Night Cops
7.00pm Merlin 7.45 Merlin 8.30 Clever v Stupid 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Lunch Monkeys 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Coming Of Age 11.05 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Clever v Stupid 12.20am How Not To Live Your Life 12.50 Lunch Monkeys 1.20 Gavin And Stacey 1.50 Don’t Tell The Bride 2.50 Bizarre ER
7.00pm News 7.30 The Sky At Night 8.00 Designing The Decades 9.00 The Life And Death Of A Mobile Phone. See highlights. 9.30 E-Mail Is Ruining My Life 10.00 Omnibus: Life, The Universe And Douglas Adams 10.50 Charlie Brooker’s Gameswipe 11.40 Jonathan Meades: OffKilter (x3)
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Primeval 8.00 The Cube 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 Benidorm 11.00 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show 11.30 FILM: The Break-Up (2006) 1.40am Coronation Street (x2)
12.55pm Heartbeat 1.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.00 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 5.00 Drama Trails 5.15 Carry On Laughing 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Live The Dream... As Seen On Screen 10.00 Taggart 11.00 The Bill: Long Gone 12.05am Wycliffe
10.50am Veronica Mars 11.45 Everwood 12.40pm Scrubs (x2) 1.40 Friends 2.05 Gilmore Girls 3.05 Veronica Mars 4.00 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Being Erica 11.00 Skins 12.00am Scrubs (x2)
2.30pm Coach Trip 3.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Relocation, Relocation 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 Without A Trace 11.00 The Closer 12.00am Saving Grace 1.00 Without A Trace
11.00am Come Next Spring (1956) 12.50pm Guns At Batasi (1964) 2.50 Where Angels Go... Trouble Follows (1968) 4.40 Journey To The Center Of The Earth (1959) 7.15 Knights Of The South Bronx (2005) 9.00 Sliding Doors (1998) 10.55 Lolita (1997) 1.35am Journey Into Autumn (1955)