001_LS445_cover
10/9/09
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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
ELLA EDMONDSON
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★
Ade’s young one sings out p11
13 – 19 October 2009
FREE WEEKLY
French toast!
Classic French cuisine at L’Eglise page 18
WIN! Halloween tickets for Vampires Rock Vampire Rocks WINE WAG Vintage stuff from Henry Butler DINING DEALS Eighteen fabulous food offers
000_LS441 Ink
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003_LS445_contents
10/9/09
2:27 PM
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welcome
L7 CONTENTS 04 NEWS & COMMENT 4 Social Diary Party for cute pups; the half marathon goes online 5 City Speak Seann is kept up at night; Will stands up for pop 5 Competitions Win tickets to Vampires Rock and Al Murray 6 News 7 days of headlines; Councillor Mary Mears 6 Latest Inbox Have your say 7 Bookings Speech Debelle, Basement Jaxx and Mika tickets on sale 7 Latest Brighton Download Chart Local acts battle it out for the number one spot 8 Snap Shots Brighton and Hove Albion Captain, Adam Virgo 9 Celebcity Rainbow’s Zippy on Brighton; baby news and karaoke 10 Bare Cheek What’s not on this week; memories of Hove Park 10 Astral Angi Time to calm it down a bit
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11 L7 INTERVIEW Father and daughter interview special: Ella Edmondson tells Latest 7 why she’s leaving the comedy to her famous parents; Adrian Edmondson looks back to his childhood and tells us why he wouldn’t trade places with anyone
We’re well and truly into autumn with the evenings drawing in and a noticeable drop in temperature. The good thing about October? The Magners Brighton Comedy Festival descends on our city, warming us through with some great starstudded comedy shows, including Spymonkey’s theatrical outing Moby Dick (p20). In competitions, we are offering readers the chance to win tickets to see Al Murray live and a fabulous meal out (p5). This week sees British comedy legend Adrian Edmondson appear in Brighton with his band The Bad Shepherds. The Young Ones star chats to Bella Todd ahead of his show, which is set to be somewhat a family affair, as his daughter – up and coming music talent, Ella Edmondson – also plays Concorde 2. In our special joint interview this week, Adrian and Ella talk comedy, music and growing up (p11). This week marks the 25th anniversary of the IRA bombing at the Grand Hotel. Phil Mills and Councillor Mary Mears both pay tribute in News (p6). We’re only a short way in to the football season, but it’s been eventful already. Latest Sport (p26) roots for Brighton and Albion – as always. Brighton’s Captain, Adam Virgo, is also featured in this week’s Snap Shots (p8). Our fantastic dining deals return this week. Simply cut out the vouchers, take them along to one (or all) of the restaurants featured and enjoy a fabulous meal at the fraction of the usual price. Tuck in!
12 LIFESTYLE 13 Health Clare Brown of Revitalise on the ultimate detox 14 Food & Drink Butler’s Wine Cellar delights; your last chance to vote in the Sussex Food & Drink Awards 2009 16 Dining deals Discount vouchers for local restaurants 18 Cover feature Christmas dining with a difference at traditional French restaurant L’Eglise 19 Hotlist Highlights of where to wine and dine
20
Zara Baker, Chief Sub Editor
L7 Don’t miss...
20 WHAT’S ON 20 Stage Spymonkey’s Moby Dick comes to Brighton Dome 21 Music and Clubs Music label Tru Thoughts’ tenth birthday bash 23 Film Don’t miss Up, Disney Pixar’s latest 3D outing 24 Comedy John Bishop talks Elvis and dancing like your dad 24 Gay X Factor finalists cause a ruckus at Revenge 26 Sport Why Brighton and Albion are revving up 26 TV Interacting with aliens in The Sarah Jane Adventures; seven-day guide to what’s on the box
Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay
Production Director Fiona McTernan Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Latest 7 Editor Bella Todd Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker Sub Editors Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell
The Bad Shepherds and Ella Edmondson 15 October Concorde 2, Brighton It’s a father and daughter team this week as the ever hilarious Adrian Edmondson appears with his band, The Bad Shepherds, and introduces his up and coming talented daughter Ella Edmondson in support.
Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Staff Writers Nick Aldwinckle (Music) Pearl Bates (Events) Jaime Pettit (Clubs)
Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi
Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless
01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.
004_LS445_Social Diary
04
10/9/09
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LATEST DIARY
Latest diary Tim Richardson snaps the massive Puppy Party and the start of the Sussex Beacon Half Marathon Puppy love The World’s Biggest Puppy Party took place at Brighton Racecourse on Saturday 19 September 2009. The puppy party, organised by vet Marc Abraham, was a fun event that included a Record Attempt, Scruffts and a Fun Dog Show. With fun in mind for the day, the event also carried a serious message, with the aim to increase people’s awareness about what a big problem puppy farming is in this country. Want to know more? Then visit www.thepet.net
Keep on running Mike Townley from Bates Wells & Braithwaite was the first person to register online for the Sussex Beacon Half Marathon which takes place on Sunday 21 February 2010. Interested? You can find out more details and register now at www.beaconhalf.org.uk
Carol Cleveland Marc Abraham – thepet.net
Max Brewer Emma Saxby – Emma Saxby Interior Design Oliver Brewer
Abbie Mayor Ann Norman Consort Ken Norman
Mike Townley – Bates Wells & Braithwaite Kat Williams – The Sussex Beacon, Chief Executive Michael Royalton-Kisch – The Sussex Beacon, Fundraising Manager Deputy Mayor – Cllr Garry Peltzer-Dunn
005_LS445_Seann/Will/Comps
10/8/09
2:26 PM
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CITY SPEAK 05
Seann
Will
Seann Walsh decides late night TV is not for him
Will Harris discusses a sugar-coated industry
O
n our house this Britain’s best-loved “The Sugababes’ group to a bunch week, the air has been thick of good-looking, songs are bubble with one topic of manufactured conversation and popsters with no one topic only: the gum for the ears” formal musical Sugababes. Or, to training – what give the three-person girlband their am I, some kind of monster? But full names: Siobhan Donaghy, Mutya remember, hard as it is to believe, Buena, Keisha Buchanan, Heidi there were some people who liked Range, Amelle Berrabah, and Jade The Beatles, too.) Ewen. In the fortnight it takes for Correct me if I’m wrong, but this column to appear, that list might aren’t all bands brands? Music is have expanded again. For all I know, an industry and bands the product another couple of girls might have of that industry; carefully been kicked out and replaced by assembled, packaged and more photogenic pop fodder. Or distributed with more of an eye on Dame Shirley Bassey. Or, if Bassett’s the packaging than what’s inside. have the funds, actual Jelly Babies. Pop has been eating itself for years. The point is, since last month’s The Shadows, Fleetwood Mac and news that final founding band Buck’s Fizz have all been through a member Keisha had been number of incarnations. The Three unceremoniously ousted and Degrees have to date notched up a replaced by Eurovision loser Jade, grand total of twelve singers. That’s Britain has been abuzz with one almost enough Degrees for a question and one question only: decent-sized angle, and still people without any of their original go to their shows. If a group’s members, are the Sugababes still entertaining, does it matter if their the Sugababes? Are they a band or line-up changes? a brand? I like the Sugababes, but – before Put aside for one moment the we get too bogged down in this argument that continuing ‘Babe Heidi argument – I think we should Range has been signed to the group appreciate them for what they are: for eight years, and has sung on six three slim, pretty girls who can of their seven albums. The question carry a tune. You can’t talk about most people seem to be asking is musical legitimacy with them. You this: would The Beatles have been can’t compare them to The Beatles. the same if – over the years – John, Their songs aren’t life-defining; Paul, George and Ringo had gradually they’re bubble gum for the ears. And been replaced by Tom, Dick and I for one don’t care what flavour it Harry? (I know, I know! Comparing comes in. All I care about is the pop.
ne thing we can definitely say believe it.” “It’s changed my life.” about what they show on If you didn’t know they were talking television at four in the about a mop, you’d never guess. morning is that, if you have any idea You’d assume it was a revolutionary what it’s like, that reflects badly on medical treatment, which, you. There are few good reasons to coincidentally, they all look as if they choose to be up at 4am: a drinking need. Either that, or you’d assume session, a job involving night duty. they were talking about a religious Nothing else comes to mind, and cult they’ve joined. Following all this, neither of those two things should the same treatment will be given to involve watching Teleshopping on some other gadget, like an inflatable ITV4. Twilight-hour TV is known only trouser press, or a digital corkscrew to feeble sleep-dodgers who have no – some other life-changing, soulreason to be awake in the morning. enriching tool. Well, it’s 4am and One of the sadder I’m awake. Oh, aspects of our “They’ve been and I’m watching society is that it’s Teleshopping on impossible to escape talking in a ITV4. It baffles from spiritless me that this is deceit-mongers disconcertingly broadcast. They’ve trying to sell dreck. been talking in a evangelistic tone They cold call us. disconcertingly They go door to door. evangelistic tone for about a mop for And they take over 15 minutes about a ITV4 (as well as mop. Admittedly, it is 15 minutes” other channels) quite a handsome during the twilight mop. But there is something hours. Of course, we ask for it. This fundamentally wrong with the sort of is a consumerist society. And now, person who willingly expends great with online shopping, teleshopping, effort on enhancing a cleaning cold calling, we can combine our device designed to soak up puddles previously incompatible desires of of waste. buying rubbish and becoming fat There is a man who appears to and agoraphobic. have been dunked in a vat of orange There are also the various rolling candle wax, and he is passionate news networks, struggling to find about this mop. Passionate! About a news, as if the world were crisis-free. mop! Then come the unconvincing I’m not doing this again. I’ll isolate testemonies from gormless this viewing experience, call it ‘customers’: “I can’t get over how research, or an experiment. good this is.” “You have to see it to Tomorrow, by 4am, I will be asleep.
I
Fancy yourself as the next Seann or Will? Latest 7 is on the look out for a new Brighton voice. Send a 450 sample column to bella@thelatest.co.uk
COMPETITIONS BEYOND RETRO WINTER WARMERS
WIN!
Cut a vintage dash this autumn in the finest antique threads. Expect sparkles, and sweet ‘40s suiting to melt away the October blast as Beyond Retro celebrates the opening of its brand new Brighton shop on the North Laine’s Vine Street. Unleash your inner starlet, with sequin hats and pussycat bows. To help you join in the festivities we’ve got three vouchers – one worth £50, two for £25 each, at Beyond Retro – to be won. Q Which street is Beyond Retro’s new Brighton shop on?
ANOTHER CHANCE FOR THE PERFECT DATE: DINNER AND AL MURRAY Treat yourself and a close pal to free comedy and cuisine on Wednesday 21 October: we’re giving away two tickets to Al Murray’s The Pub Landlord Beautiful British Tour at the Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, as part of the Magners Brighton Comedy Festival. And to make it even more special we’re throwing in a delicious preshow two course meal, including a bottle of house wine at Pinocchio’s, the popular, authentic Italian restaurant on New Road in central Brighton. Visit brightoncomedyfestival.com for more great nights out. Q What is the name of Al Murray’s comedic alter-ego?
HAVE A SPOOKY HALLOWEEN WITH VAMPIRES ROCK
Get down to the best Halloween party this year at the Brighton Centre’s Vampires Rock show. Steve Steinman and Toyah Willcox, as well as a full cast of superb singers, dancers and a formidable band, blast their way through some of the greatest rock anthems including; ‘We Will Rock You’, ‘Bat Out of Hell’ and ‘Welcome to the Jungle’. All teamed with an amazing stage set and pyrotechnics to blow your mind. Leave your small trick or treating at home and set yourself up for a real treat – a pair of tickets, programmes and two t-shirts from the show. Q Who originally sang ‘Bat Out of Hell’?
TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN,
EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk
with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 19 October for Al Murray and Monday 26 October for Beyond Retro and Vampires Rock.
006_LS445_newsphil/Council
10/9/09
1:29 PM
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06 LATEST NEWS
L7 News
latest inbox comment@thelatest.co.uk
7
days of headlines with Phil Mills
Sussex Police close in on burglars, Dame Vera Lynn still entertains at 92, and a youth football team support Cancer Research UK
I
t was a week which saw the introduction of electric car charging points in the city, when binmen voted for a strike over pay, and a time to remember the five killed and 30 injured by an IRA bomb at Brighton’s Grand Hotel 25 years ago on 12 October. With fellow journalists including Jon Buss, Kate Parkin and Adam Trimingham at the scene that night and morning, we witnessed a shocking outrage which turned all future political conference centres into fortresses and wrote a new, tragic chapter in Brighton’s history. Remember the victims, yes, but remember too the firefighters, police, the ambulance personnel and doctors who risked their lives pulling victims to safety.
It wasn’t bombers but burglars who police this week focused their attention on. The gay and transgender communities have been put on the alert for a predator who befriends victims for the sole purpose of stealing from them. Sussex Police have taken the unusual step of naming Nigel Rowell, 44, also known as Nick or Nicholas, who is thought to be in Worthing, Eastbourne, or Brighton and Hove. He targets potential victims through dating websites. Rowell, jailed for five years for
burglary and deception, was freed from HMP Blantyre House in Kent on a weekend release licence in June but failed to return. Another burglar is in hospital with both legs broken after leaping from a window in Edward Street, Brighton. He was scared off by the brave woman householder who suffered slight injuries while struggling with him. Take a bow Dame Vera Lynn who is topping the UK album chart with her old-time favourites (to the shame of today’s artists who should be singing similar support for service personnel in Afghanistan), and she’s still out and about at 92, exercising the vocal cords. She sang her famous 'We'll Meet Again' with some of the World War II land girls at a new exhibition at Brighton Museum. And finally, Withdean Under 14 boys football team should be top of the league for having the name of a charity – Cancer Research UK – on their shirts instead of having lucrative sponsorship from a company. Player Christian Fuller said: “We thought we’d do something different, for a charity.” Coach Peter Miller said: “I feel very proud of the boys.” Current European Champions Barcelona are among the few major clubs to wear a charity name – in their case UNICEF. Let's hope Withdean and Cancer Research UK are just as successful in reaching their goals. Have you been the victim of burglary? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on the IRA bombing of 1984
T
uesday 12 October was the 25th anniversary of the IRA bombing of the Grand Hotel in Brighton which tragically killed five people and left several others – including Margaret Tebbit, wife of Lord Tebbit – seriously injured. This event, sadly, has become a part of the city’s history and I can remember all too vividly the shock and disruption that followed. I can also remember the spirit and courage the then Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, showed in
continuing with the conference the following day, despite coming within inches of losing her life. To mark the anniversary, the Grand Hotel put on a commemorative event last night which I attended. Lord Tebbit was the guest of honour and he unveiled a plaque to remember those who died
We are calling on Latest 7 readers to help bring diabetes to light on World Diabetes Day (Saturday 14 November). We are taking part in the World Diabetes Day Monument Challenge and are calling on readers to join in by lighting local landmarks and buildings in blue on or around Saturday 14 November. World Diabetes Day aims to raise awareness of diabetes and the impact that it has on the 250 million people with diabetes around the world. This year the theme of World Diabetes Day is diabetes education and prevention. In the UK, there are 2.5 million people diagnosed with diabetes. If you are interested in helping us by getting a local landmark lit up in blue please email worlddiabetesday@diabetes.org.uk or visit www.diabetes.org.uk/ WorldDiabetesDay for information. Yours faithfully, Douglas Smallwood Chief Executive, Diabetes UK Thanks Andrew for the heads up on the chance to ‘Come Dine’ with complete strangers as part of the food festival. Initially really excited at the prospect of dining and all the potentially embarrassing faux pas that could ensue, the novelty wore off and the terror set in after a hard week at work and an hour to go before apéritifs! All fears soon went out the lower ground floor window as a great night was had by all. It could have been horrendous but with the night and company I had, I’d seriously recommend anyone to take part if it happens next year. Big shout out to chef Hamish aka Lucy. Patrick, Brighton, by email You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
that fateful night. 25 years on and, thankfully, the political situation in Northern Ireland has been transformed, but I think that it is very important that we never forget the suffering that was endured (on both sides of the sectarian divide). Talking about commemorations, I was disappointed to hear the government confirm last week that they will not be honouring Henry Allingham, the veteran of the Great War who died at St. Dunstan’s home for ex-service personnel in the summer. We made Henry an Honorary Freeman of the City shortly before he died and it was one of the proudest moments of my political life. He was an inspirational man who devoted so much of his life to serving his country and a national posthumous honour of some kind would have ensured that the sacrifices of his generation were never forgotten.
007_LS445_Bookings/chart
10/9/09
2:16 PM
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BOOKINGS |CHART
L7 Bookings On sale this week…
ANTON AND ERIC – STEPPIN’ OUT UK TOUR Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 27 February 2010, £35/25.50, www.raymondgubbay.co.uk You know you’re in for an entertaining evening when Strictly Come Dancing is on our screens. Professional dancers Anton Du Beke and Erin Boag show you how it’s done, as they work their ballroom magic in a captivating live show. The pair will be joined by singer/West End star Graham Bickley, guest dancers and a live orchestra. This one may just make you take up ballroom...
MIKA Brighton Centre, 3 March 2010 £25, www.brightoncentre.co.uk/0844 847 1515 (subject to booking fee) Just as we were getting ‘Love Today’ out our heads, more loveable, catchy pop sounds from Mika is released upon us. His second album The Boy Who Knew Too Much came out last month, featuring the superb single ‘We Are Golden.’ Familiarise yourself with the tracks on the album now so you can sing along when he appears live in Brighton next April!
BASEMENT JAXX WITH SPEECH DEBELLE O2 Arena, London, 17 December £27.50, www.theo2.co.uk/0844 856 0202 If you missed the Mercury award winner in Brighton last week, here’s another chance to catch the talented Speech Debelle appearing live in London. The singer-songwriter has been confirmed as the main support act for the popular UK house music duo, Basement Jaxx, on their Christmas arena tour. This is set to be a cracker – book your return train ticket to London now and catch them at the O2.
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
Brighton Download Chart TOP 10 Latest 1 No Sharp Objects – The Wrong Kind Of Love
THE BLUES BAND
2 No Sharp Objects – Home
The Hawth, Crawley, 27 November £17, www.hawth.co.uk/01293 553636 The Blues Band: Paul Jones, Dave Kelly, Tom McGuinness, Gary Fletcher and Rob Townsend have been drawing in the crowds for 30 years now. Their debut album The Official Blue Bootleg Album does exactly what it says on the tin, and this no-nonsense group have been making waves across Europe ever since.
3 Panos Christofi – If You Do What You Always Do...
FRANKIE BOYLE: I WOULD HAPPILY PUNCH EVERY ONE OF YOU IN THE FACE Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 17–18 April 2010 £20, www.brightondome.org/01273 70909 He quit Mock The Week after seven series last week in order to pursue other projects. ‘I Would Happily Punch Every One of You in the Face’ is one such project, coming to the Brighton Dome next spring. An extra performance has now been added on Sunday 18 April. Catch him while you can, as the funny man has voiced his plans to quit stand-up as he thinks most comedians are rubbish when they turn 40. The memo must not have reached Jim Davidson, who kicks off his own tour ‘If I Ruled the World’ next month. Don’t go, Frankie!
SGT PEPPERS LONELY HEARTS CLUB SHOW Brighton Centre, 9 March 2010 £24.50, www.brightoncentre.uk/0844 847 1515 Where do lonely hearts go? Together in this one of a kind show. Featuring some of the best musician’s from the The Beatles’ home town of Liverpool, this show will combine musicians, big screen animations and a new light show. Practise your vocals on The Beatles: Rockband and get ready to sing along next March.
4 Zoe – Conquistador 5 Jaybee – Brokeback Mountain 6 Gordon's Alive – Taxi In 5 7 Chaos Borne – Watching 8 Rubber-Johnny – Alzheimers 9 Jaybee – Oskar And Eli 10 Rubber-Johnny – Trum Pet Very little change at the top of the charts this week. ‘60s-flavoured rockers No Sharp Objects continue their spell of dominance in the number one and two slots while country vocalist Zoe and popster Panos Christofi tussle for the number three slot. Jaybee stands firm at five. Time for a few recommendations, then, starting with the smoothly ambient psychepop of Jim Guittard at seventeen. Finally, spare a thought for quirky pop-rockers White Bait, with their enjoyably silly ‘The Bug Song’...
11 BreakinBear Rebel In Cheif
21 North Laine Sometimes
12 Jaybee Miles To Go
22 White Bait The Bug Song
13 The Fooley Mantras Break away
23 Lolatwist Pretty
14 The Mojo Fins Always Now
24 Jaybee My Imaginary Friend
15 Chaos Borne The Moment
25 Mara Project The Path You Take
16 Chaos Borne I Will
26 Heavy Load Is Bruce Forsyth Dead?
Speech Debelle
17 Jim Guittard Listen To Your Voice 18 The Fooley Mantras Break Away 19 David Simnel and the Pimpernels Glycerin Tears 20 Mr Resonate Brighton Bubblin feat. Lionheart
27 Mr Resonate Say What You Mean 28 EVOH I Love Brighton 29 BoxBoy My Weekend 30 Land Of Plenty On Sleeping, Wakes SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos
Pic: Mark Appleton
07
SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
008_LS445_Snap Shots
10/8/09
2:53 PM
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08 SNAP SHOTS
Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Adam Virgo
“
One of my favourite places is Hollingbury playing field, where I used to practise football as a kid. I think I’ve got the best job in the world: Captain of my home town football team, it doesn’t get much better than that! I’m grateful for what life has given me, and that’s why it’s important to me to try to give something back
Brighton and Hove Albion Captain Adam Virgo on his way to a meeting with one of the local charities he’s so passionate about, including Heart UK, The British Heart Foundation and Guide Dogs for the Blind. He is planning a series of fundraisers in and around Brighton.
”
have your party here! call angi on 01273 687171 atmospheric, affordable, available friday & saturday nights – or any night amy winehouse & the kooks partied here… now it’s your turn the one-stop party spot you make the booking – we make it happen tell us what you want – we provide it all weddings, civil partnerships, birthdays, office parties, business events, hen & stag nights
call angi on 01273 687171 or email angi@thelatest.co.uk and book the venue for free* *subject to conditions
Manchester Street, Brighton
Tel. 01273 687171
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
009_LS445_celebcity
10/8/09
3:23 PM
Page 1
CELEBCITY 09
SPONSORED BY
Celebcity with Jo Brooks The Rainbow cast bare all, newsreader Natasha’s expecting, and Brighton sings like the stars
Zippy opens up H
ove-based TV writer Tim Randall, who wrote the bestselling Coronation Street Treasures and the Official EastEnders Annual, has a new book just about to hit the shelves. Tim has chosen a real TV classic this time – kids’ favourite Rainbow. Entitled Rainbow Unzipped – The Autobiography, the book explores the characters of Zippy, George and Bungle and why they have become three of the most revered names in the history of children’s television. In the book they tell for the first time the inside story of the show. After an acrimonious split, they were finally reunited earlier this year and have come together to write this book with the help of Tim. Following their emotional reunion, they can now lift the lid on the backstabbing, bitching and Bungle-baiting that went on behind closed doors. Highlights of the book include; how Bungle originally had the lead role in the show but was cruelly sabotaged by Zippy tampering with an autocue; why Zippy’s feet have never been seen in public; Bungle confessing the full extent of his tragic sugar addiction and breakdown, which culminated in his notorious 48 hour Creme Egg binge at Glastonbury and how he’s courageously battled his demons to enjoy a full recovery and release a bestselling self-help DVD; George telling all about his clandestine relationship with Spit the Dog; the tempestuous arguments between Zippy and George that ended up in the total breakdown of their professional relationship; George’s shock at the discovery of the hideous nun exploitation that went on to create his bestselling fragrance ‘Tickled Pink’. I asked Tim to ask Zippy (personal hero) for a quote about Brighton – and he didn’t disappoint and said: “Geoffrey and I have spent many an afternoon frolicking by the pier and I do love getting my zip around a nice big wad of Brighton rock!”
Baby news for Natasha Sussex based newsreader Natasha Kaplinsky has just announced that she is expecting another baby. Natasha, 37 already has one son, Arlo and is married to investment banker Justin Bower. Natasha, who reads Channel 5 News, took a £300k pay cut to read the earlier 5pm news bulletin to spend more time with her new son – ahh.
Being Dolly Parton Fast becoming the place to hang out in Brighton, cool karaoke venue Lucky Voice in Black Lion Street, has just compiled its top ten most popular songs being sung in its private pods. It seems the days of Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I will Survive’ are well behind us... ‘Sex On Fire’ – Kings Of Leon ‘Mr Brightside’ – The Killers ‘Livin' On A Prayer’ – Bon Jovi ‘Don't Stop Me Now’ – Queen ‘Total Eclipse Of The Heart’ – Bonnie Tyler ‘9 To 5’ – Dolly Parton ‘Valerie’ – Mark Ronson feat. Amy Winehouse ‘Sweet Child O' Mine’ – Guns N' Roses ‘I've Had The Time Of My Life’ – Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes
Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com
10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of November 2009 excluding Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers
010_LS445_cheeky/stars
2:14 PM
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ONLY JOKING!
Bare cheek Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
I REMEMBER... HOVE PARK! These days, with its ergonomically-designed kiddies' playground, posh cafe, tennis courts, climbing boulder, and miniature railway, it seems a very idyll. But what was it like at the dawn of the twentieth century? 96-year-old Strongitharm Micklewhite remembers...
What’s not on? HEAVY-HANDED ALLEGORICAL SCI-FI FILM that hasn’t really
NEW ADAPTATION OF LITERARY CLASSIC that congratulates itself on
thought it all through. (15) 12.00, 2.00, 4.30, 6.00, 8.00, 10.30
really bringing out the subtext of the work, despite the fact that earlier adaptations actually did so in a much better and more subtle way. (15) 10.30, 12.00, 2.00, 4.30, 6.00, 8.00, 10.30
MISERABLE, DEPRESSING BRITFLICK set on a sink estate, much praised by the critics, most of whom went to Eton and all of whom live on the same street in Muswell Hill. (18) 2.00, 4.30, 6.00, 8.00, 10.30
3D FILM full of shots of people holding up guns, baseball bats, toblerones, etc. to show off the effect which is going to look bloody silly when it’s shown on telly in 2D in about three years. (15) 4.30, 6.00, 8.00, 10.30
In & Out Special not so successful sequels edition III
In • Tom Sawyer, Detective • Lace 2 • Beggerman, Thief • The Trail Of The Pink Panther • Psycho III
Out • Tom Brown at Oxford • Scruples II • 102 Dalmatians • Scarlett • Psycho II
“I’m a Hove lad born and bred – born in the year of our Lord 1913. Unfortunately when I was but a nipper of two both my parents died. They made the mistake of mildly rebuking Charlie Chaplin for showing up at a vicarage tea party with a prostitute, stark naked and drunk. So old Chaplin pulled out his pearlhandled revolver (which was, they say, a personal gift from Woodrow Wilson) and shot them both through the heart. Of course he was a big star in those days so he got off with a guinea fine, and I was left all alone
in the world. I never held it against Chaplin though, and was always a big fan of his films. I ended up in St. Mordecai’s which was a big orphanage that used to stand where PC World is now. It was a terrible place – full of misery, degradation, and despair. So no change there then. More than anything else, we orphans dreamed of having a green, leafy, verdant area of land to gambol about on and briefly forget our cares. Now, the land that’s now the park was back then an enormous lunatic asylum – but it burnt down in 1917 when the superintendant went stark staring mad and insisted on serving Crepe Suzette for all the inmates’ suppers. The local council couldn’t decide what to build on the land, but agreed that it should be something to ennoble and bring joy to the human spirit. So they built another lunatic asylum, but that burnt down a month later. So they built a workhouse, but that burnt
down also. So they put their heads together and decided to build a cinema specialising in snuff films, but that fell down. After that they decided to turn it into a park. Of course, it was a very different place in those days. Where the children’s playground now stands was a wild west show. All the greats appeared there – Buffalo Bill, Annie Oakley, Wyatt Earp, Bat Masterson, Jimmy Greaves. They’d demonstrate all the old cowboy skills – shooting, roping steers, drinking whiskey, wiping out the native Americans. Each show would end with a re-enactment of Custer’s Last Stand. It was rubbish. But there was very little entertainment available in those days. You know that huge rock, the Goldstone? Well back in the day it was used as a huge, unwieldy paperweight. One evening I was down by it attempting to re-enact the opening sequence of Raiders Of The Lost Ark when my arm became trapped under its twenty ton weight.
10
10/8/09
What we used to say An occasional series in which we struggle to remember the original, simple, once common terms that have been abandoned in favour of ghastly, overblown, crass, managerial Americanisms. WHAT WE SAY NOW: “Action” The noun formation of the verb “act” itself used as verb, as in “Send me over those figures this afternoon and I can action it by tomorrow a.m. at the latest.” WHAT WE USED TO SAY: “Do”
BARDSLEY’S
Astral Angi
This week Astral says calm down
★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}
★CANCER {June 22–July 22}
★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}
★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}
★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}
★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}
★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}
★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}
★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}
★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}
★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}
★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}
Arians this week may be feeling vulnerable and tired. The truth is that we are all a week older so pull your socks up and get on with it. Astral has no time for slackers. Taureans right now are all mouth and no action. So dish up or shut up Taurus. Astral would love to meet a Taurean who can deliver more than a load of old bull. Geminis are the sitters on life’s fence, always happy to not make decisions and to leave things to others. Well stop right now and decide what you really want.
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
Cancerians can cause considerable collateral chaos by clamming up and clamping down. Time to open up and lighten up baby, draw in those claws and give us a chance. Leos want nothing more than to be loved, and who can blame them? But right now you’re starting to seem merely needy and needy ’aint nice 24/7. It’s time to give or give in. Virgos should conserve all their energies right now for an imminent onslaught of sexual attention. If Virgo wants to stay ‘intacta’ then start working on those thigh muscles now.
Librans are on an even keel this week, a blessing with the rest you going off the rails. But a warning, are you paying attention to the spiritual barnacles on your bottom? Scorpios must hold back and bite their tongues right now as everyone is in such a defensive mood. If you must have a go then find a Libran and have a go at them. Sagis are as ever plodding along wearing their little furrow in the candlewick bedspread of life. They’re probably not reading this but sleeping so leave them be. Awwwww.
Capricorn can take a rest right now from their life work of being a thorough nuisance. Easy does it, settle down and let’s all have a nice quiet week, eh? Aquarians have started their usual late summer run up to the autumnal lunacy that physically manifests itself as home knits and spiritually is far more dangerous. Calm down. Pisceans should relax, go to it, if they want to do anything at all this week. Tired of fish and chips? No problem, have a pea fritter or a meat pie at Bardsley’s if you must.
011_LS445_interview
10/8/09
1:00 PM
Page 1
L7 INTERVIEW 11 “Well I’m normally late for everything and unorganised and messy. I get that from my mum. Actually, someone told me I sound like a drunk version of her. And my dad – I think I’ve got the drive to be independent from my dad. I went off and got a job as a painter and decorator when I was 15. It’s good having my dad as my manager. He’ll tell me when I’m being a dick.”
“H
DADDY’S GIRL? She may be the child of two of the country’s most famous comedians but Ella Edmondson was always destined to be a serious songwriter. And now dad Adrian Edmondson is her manager and touring partner. Bella Todd finds out who’s a chip off whose block
W
hen Ella Edmondson was at school, the other pupils would send her home with scraps of paper for her parents to sign. Her strategy was to politely accept, but bin them on the way home. “Can you imagine, ‘Hi mum! Hi dad! Can I have your autograph...ten times?’” At least it shouldn’t be long before she starts getting asked for her own. At 23, Ella is the eldest daughter of Jennifer Saunders and Adrian Edmondson – who, thanks to their un-fussy refusal of the limelight, you tend to forget have been married since the mid ’80s. She’s not very good at being funny, she says. But she is very good at writing songs. This spring, Ella released Hold Your Horses, a classy, dark-hearted debut album with contributions from new-folk luminaries such as Kate Rusby and Jim Causley. And now she’s touring with her dad’s extra-curricular project, The Bad Shepherds, with Adrian acting as her manager. While Jennifer introduced Ella to Skunk Anansie and Alanis Morissette, it was Ade – inbetween touring with Bottom and driving his tractor on the family farm in Devon – who taught her to play guitar. “I asked him to teach me ‘Deep Blue Something’ by Breakfast At Tiffanys, and he did,” she recalls. “That’s fatherly love! He’s always had all kinds of instruments. But I think seeing me play gigs made him realise how much fun being in a band would be. Now they’ve moved back to London, he’s got two rooms to make as much noise as he likes in.
My mum has to go somewhere else to write. Otherwise she ends up playing Solitaire all day.” Ella passed through a rebellious goth phase and a rebellious hippy phase (“you know the hippy daughter with the dreads in Jam And Jerusalem? Mum based her on me”) before settling on ‘serious’ songwriting. Are there any ways in which she takes after her parents?
“When I first heard Ella’s track in the studio I burst into tears – I think out of relief”
as she told you about the way she used to sing absolutely everything?” says Adrian when we call him – half an hour late thanks to Ella’s sketchy time-keeping. “As a kid, Ella would sing 24 hours a day. So she’d come down to breakfast and sing ‘hello’, and then she’d sing the back of the cornflakes packet. I have no idea where that came from.” The rebellion thing is more easily traced. When he was 11, Adrian was sent to boarding school. “There was a little thing called The Blue Book, which had a list of rules at the back,” he remembers. “We used to draw little boxes next to them and tick them off as we broke them. I got suspended for ‘throwing up in the prefect’s wastepaper bin’.” Adrian’s parents never liked his comedy. “They’re very conservative people, and there was this very shouty, sweary comedian.” So he was delighted to find that he wasn’t just able to tolerate his child’s music – he loved it. “When I first heard her title track in the studio I burst into tears – I think out of relief.” Adrian always wanted to be a musician himself. “When we were young and groovy and hung around with musicians, Chrissie Hynde and the Squeeze boys and Elvis Costello all wanted to be us. And we were all jealous of them.” But he didn’t have his conversion to folk until 2001, when he found himself in a dressing room next door to Kate Rusby. The result was The Bad Shepherds, who play punk tunes on folk instruments. There’s an air of whimsy to it, he admits. But they’re definitely not a comedy band. And when people come up to him after gigs and tell him, “you were a lot better than I thought you were going to be”, he takes it as a back-handed compliment. Would he swap with Ella, we wonder, if he could? “Well, your life is your life,” he says. “And I’ve enjoyed mine. I feel, very bizarrely – and I hope this doesn’t sound like midlife crisis – the same way now as I did when I started working with Rik [Mayall]. And I’ve got a new friend – Troy, who’s in my band. It’s like when I met Rik, and we had the same record collection, and our mothers had sent us to uni in the same M&S dressing gown.” No rules and regulations, no jealousy of youth – doesn’t Adrian harbour any of the bad habits of parenthood? Well, maybe just the one. “Ella says she wrote her whole album about the same boyfriend,” we remark innocently. “Yeah.” He pauses. “James.” He pauses. “Ha!” He pauses. “I have to say – he wasn’t worth that much song.” Ella Edmondson and The Bad Shepherds play Concorde 2 on 15 October. See listings for details
000_LS441_Dymanic Yoga
9/10/09
15:10
Page 1
NOW WITH VIRTUAL STUDIO TOUR
www.dynamicyoga.tv The studio incorporates a fantastic new ‘state of the art’ fresh oxygenated heating ventilation system.
Class duration: 90 minutes
Stuart offers a completely unique style of yoga. “My yoga is not just mechanical yoga, it is based on aligning your mind and spine with this magnificent universe.”
7 Video testimonals on the website.
013_LS445_Revitalise
10/9/09
12:09 PM
Page 1
HEALTH 13
Cleansed ‘My colon’s all clean and it didn’t hurt a bit!’ by Clare Brown from Revitalise
M
ore and more, we all take great care about the way we look on the outside – but what about the inside? Our daily lifestyles mean that even with the best intentions, we often do not make time to eat a good, healthy diet, instead opting for convenience and processed foods. Combine this with stress, pollution, lack of exercise, certain drugs, smoking, alcohol and exposure to toxic substances and we could all benefit from an internal clean to restore the function of the digestive tract and colon.
Did you know?
£20 off colonic hydrotherapy 2 for 1 deep tissue massage
Yoga & Colonics at
Quote ref: the latest for these fantastic limited offers
Tel: 01273 738389 86 Church Rd, Hove BN3 2EB
www.revitalise-u.com health@revitalise-u.com
• The healthy transit time of food through our bodies is less than 24 hours. On average in the UK it is now 60 hours for men and 70 hours for women. • We should have a bowel movement after every meal. • The UK is the most constipated nation in the world. • The UK also has the highest incidence of bowel cancer in the world with over 20,000 new cases diagnosed every year. • One in three people consulting a GP have a bowel problem. Digestive disorders are now widespread. • Toxins are re-absorbed through the wall of the colon directly into the bloodstream. • Our systems are being heavily polluted by this continually increasing accumulation of waste matter from food and normal body processes.
We need an internal clean! Colonic hydrotherapy is extremely effective as it clears old faecal matter, gas, mucus and toxic substances in the colon thus improving elimination. This leads to better digestion so you get less gas, bloating and food intolerances; more energy; clearer skin; more mental clarity and fewer headaches. It also helps many circulatory, immune and weight problems and can improve many joint conditions. After a consultation and an explanation conducted by a well trained and caring professional, filtered water at a carefully regulated temperature is introduced into the colon gently using only the pressure of gravity. With specific massage techniques, the water begins to soften any deposits and cleanse the colon of faecal matter, which is instantly piped away with the waste water. This procedure takes about 30 to 45 minutes. The modesty of the client is preserved to the utmost during the process. Clients have reported increases in energy, an ‘uplifting feeling’ and weight lost amongst some of the immediate benefits. Revitalise are currently offering all Latest 7 readers a colonic hydrotherapy treatment for £50, saving £20. Appointments are available seven days a week and last 75 minutes. Call 01273 738389 or log onto www.health@revitalise-u.com
014_LS445_butlers
10/9/09
11:28 AM
Page 2
14 FOOD &DRINK
UP AND COMING TASTINGS Piedmont vs Tuscany The GREAT 2004 vintage October 16, £45 Hope International fund raiser for water projects in Ethiopia October 17, £20 Basics Tasting – Viognier and Montepulciano October 28, £10
Sold out: Argentinian Reds November 13, £17.50 Sold out: Basics Tasting – Blind Tasting November 25, £10 Christmas Party December 11, £20
www.butlers-winecellar.co.uk/tastings.asp
“Henry’s approach to wine is to debunk the pretense, and as a consequence there is a great deal of humour involved in his tutorial style”
WINE WAG Andrew Kay talks to wine Merchant Henry Butler of Butler’s Wine Cellar
I
moved to Brighton over 20 years ago and as a part of my local education, best-selling author Peter James took me to meet his wine merchant. Peter had served a Texan, yes Texan Chardonnay that was fairly interesting and it had come from Butler’s Wine Cellar in Queens Park Road. It was an extraordinary place with wooden crates piled up around the edges and all over the floor, about as far away from an off license as you could get, but nowhere near as intimidating as some of the wine merchants that I had peered into whilst working in the West End of London. About five years ago, the son, one Henry Butler, finally took the plunge and bought the business from his, by then, estranged parents, and started to run it on his own although his mum did work there for a few years longer, too. ‘‘Butler’s was established in 1979 at the end of October by my parents Gillian and Geoffrey Butler, both now retired. Mum still helps out if she really has to, and Dad lives in Germany and sells collectable pipes. ‘‘I worked with them for pocket money right from the year dot, so I used to carry round ancient bottles of Chateau Mouton or Chateau Lafite or Margaux, really expensive wines when I was a young pup. Funnily enough I got ahead in French lessons at school as I could pronounce all the French wine names!’’ ‘‘Later on I went travelling round Australia for three months. When I came back I needed a job so I came to work at the shop thinking I’d be getting a proper job in six months. Of course I didn’t and I am still hooked in and here. ‘‘For a while my parents moved to Norfolk so I ran this place on my own with them in the background, and I finally bought it off them about five years ago.’’ Since then Henry has continued in the tradition of finding and selling great and interesting wines, a few ciders from time-to-time, ports, sherry and special spirits. The shop has undergone a recent facelift but the spirit of independence remains the same, as does Henry’s passion for wine. He runs regular wine-tasting evenings which nearly always sell out, and having been to some, it is hardly surprising. Henry’s approach to wine is to debunk the pretense, and as a consequence there is a great deal of humour involved in his tutorial style. Nor is anyone safe from his wicked tongue; I know this from experience, but his wit and style is charming and has won him the trade accolade of being the Wine Wag of the Year.
Henry is currently trying to work out a way of turning Hanover outside toilets into temperature controlled wine storage units, with Nutshell Building, run by the famous Copper family, guardians of the Sussex folk music tradition. Last year Henry took English wine through France to Italy on a tandem bike to the Slow Food movement’s head quarters and did tastings along the way for the French. The expedition was sponsored and they raised about £20,000 for charity. ‘‘Now I am committing to doing a charity fund raising tasting once a month for the next year. I did one at the New Steine for the AIDS memorial this month and for Hope International next month, one at Brighton Racecourse working with new employers next month and one for a mate’s Cambodian orphanage in December.’’ Henry and his wife Kate have a real passion for food and drink and Henry’s brother is a chef working for Hoogie Stratten. ‘‘What do I like? I like trying to cook, independent shops, my babe, Elvis, people, Liverpool FC, surprises, chilli pickle. What do I hate? I hate not much really, poor manners, people who tell us we have a great range and reputation and then go straight back to Tescos and other small grocers.’’ I can see that this must be frustrating especially as most of the wines Henry sells you would be hard pressed to find in any supermarket or corner shop. Nor is he the expensive option. Of course you can go in there and go mad but there are plenty of great wines at very sensible prices and each bottle comes with a large slice of love and usually a belly laugh. As with all good stories things come full circle. In the latest Peter James bestseller there is a chapter all about Butler’s Wine Cellar. Opening hours are: Tues – Sat: 11am – 7pm, closed Sunday and Monday The Butlers Wine Cellar, 247 Queens Park Road, Brighton, BN2 9XJ www.butlers-winecellar.co.uk 01273 698 724
Win a bottle of great wine every month for a year Each month Henry will choose a bottle of wine for one lucky winner to collect from his shop. To win answer the following question. Which best-selling crime writer mentions Butler’s Wine Cellar? To enter email: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with Butler’s Competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to include your name, address and contact number. Entrants must be aged 18 or over. Closing date: 26 October.
015_LS445_food
10/9/09
2:06 PM
Page 1
ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 15
Food & Drink Andrew Kay says now is your last chance to vote for Sussex food heroes
For regulars to Shoreham Farmers Market, winner of Best Farmers’ Market last year, it was a huge community effort – bringing together local people and their favourite market – to win the title. And, likewise, for Harveys & Son, whose ales are known as well across the UK as they are in Sussex, winning Sussex Drink Producer of the Year, sponsored by Mayo Wynne Baxter, was a reminder of how strong their local supporter base is. Said Paula Seager, MD of Natural PR which runs the awards: “The Sussex food & drink awards are quite unique in the UK, being based on public voting and attracting thousands of supporters – probably because we have such a wealth of fantastic food in the county and a great sense of pride in our county.” A key partner in the awards is Hilary Knight of A Taste of Sussex, part of Sussex Enterprise, whose job is to provide business support to local producers. Her message is simple: “Your vote is incredibly important to help boost the local market for our fantastic Sussex produce and give our glorious producers the credit they deserve – so please vote!” Deadline for voting is Friday 16 October and everyone who votes online will automatically be entered into a prize draw to win two tickets to the ‘Sussex foodie event of the year’ – the Sussex Food & Drink Awards dinner held at the East Sussex National Golf Resort & Spa in January 2010. To vote visit www.sussexfoodawards.com andrew@thelatest.co.uk
Last year’s winners
The chips are down A
t midnight this Friday voting will close for the Sussex Food & Drink Awards and organisers are urging people to support their local producers and the outlets which promote Sussex fare by voting for their favourites at www.sussexfoodawards.com. Last year, winners found the awards a huge help to their marketing and credibility. Relish in Spice Co, the current title holders of the Sussex Food Producer of the Year, sponsored by Budgens Musgrave, has grown from strength to strength and were so proud of their award title, they printed it on their delivery vans. “Winning the award last year has not only opened a lot of doors for us in the “At midnight Sussex area, but all across the country,” this Friday voting said Barbara Wieland, director of Relish in Spice Co, who runs the company with her partner Mark. “We now supply farmshops in will close for the Scotland, Ireland and Jersey as well. It has Sussex Food & given our customers and suppliers more confidence in our products.” Drink Awards” Some winners have attracted press coverage throughout the year, including Ben Goldsmith of Whites in Steyning, who won Sussex Young Chef of the Year, sponsored by Train to Gain; Cromwells of Henfield, which won Best Sussex Eating Experience; and Steve Hook who delivers his own milk from Longleys Farm and won Sussex Farmer of the Year. Others have successfully used it to demonstrate their commitment to local food producers, such as J Heath & Son butchers in Eastbourne, which has their win emblazoned on their shop window; and The Sussex Produce Company in Steyning, winners of Sussex Food Shop of the Year.
Barbara and Mark of Relish in Spice Co
016-017_LS445_Diningdeals
9/10/09
12:09
Page 2
16 DINING DEALS
£10 for 3 courses • Diners must produce this voucher (4 persons max) • Includes Eat as much as you like hot buffet • Offer available Sunday to Wednesday inclusive • Lunch and Dinner until the end of October
www.balibrasserie.co.uk Tel: 01273 323810 Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove, BN3 2LR
EAT OUT FOR £5 at 01273 677676
01273 775477
01273 730355
01273 325135
The Chilli Pickle £10 thali & a pint
Special 2 course menu for £5 with this voucher - please request this menu on arrival
Every weekday lunch we are offering any thali plus a crisp pint of Kingfisher or a glass of house wine or soft drink for £10
One voucher per 2 people, Monday - Thursday inclusive.
Kathmandu Goat Curry, Paneer Tikka Masala, Bengali fish curry, Allepey Coconut & Vegetable Stew and Fragrant Chicken Korma all served with baby naan, dal, rice, veg and pickle
10% service will be added. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers.
The Chilli Pickle, 2 Meeting House Lane, Brighton House, BN11HB
tel: 01273 323 824
We are doing a ‘Celebrate 25 years menu'
“Break for lunch” 2 courses for 2 for £ 25 and
for £30 includes a bot tle of hou se wine
Available everyday til 7pm throughout October. Gars is located in the heart of The Lanes and although 25 years old the décor is very modern with bamboo flooring, bespoke silk shades and stylish leather wall panelling to compliment the modern and authentic mix of asian cuisine. Quick fried squid in salt and chilli, sesame prawns on toast, steamed seabass in ginger and spring onions and drunken chicken are just a few of the items on the ‘Celebrate 25 menu.’ Gars Restaurant, 19 Prince Albert Street, BN1 1HF
www.gars.co.uk
Tel:01273 321 321
2 COURSES AND A GLASS OF WINE THE BRASSERIE LATIN IN THE LANE FISH & GRILL 10–11 Kings Road, Brighton, 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina East Sussex BN1 1NE Village, Brighton BN2 5WA 01273 328672 01273 698989 Bookings must be made in advance. Please mention this advert when booking. Terms and conditions: Must bring the coupon to claim – one coupon up to six people. Excludes Bank Holidays and Saturday evenings.
It’s a well-known fact that a nutritious lunch will increase your productivity levels. So experience Brighton’s finest contemporary Indian Cuisine & enjoy our new lunch time menu. A variety of mouth-watering specials including authentic Thali lunch. Your time is precious, so call with your lunch time order & we will have your drinks or starters ready upon your arrival. Mention this advert for complimentary glass of wine or Cobra* Strictly only redeemable Monday–Friday 12–3pm Opening hours: 12–3pm & 6pm–11pm
www.agrabrasserie.co.uk 60 Ship Street, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 1AE 01273 324384
SPECIAL OFFER £25.00
2 course meal for two with 1/2 LTR carafe of wine included
(+10% optional service charge) Avail: Tues to Thurs 12 till 7pm & Friday and Saturday 12 till 6pm only Tel: 01273 220868 www.legliserestaurant.co.uk 196 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2DJ
Please bring this voucher with you
000_000_LS445_Diningdeals
10/9/09
10:04 AM
Page 3
DINING DEALS 17
Combining locally sourced produce with French cuisine. Complimented by impeccable service at affordable prices.
SAMPLE DAILY MENU French onion soup * Fresh Salmon tartare Locally caught Pollok a la catalane Sussex lamb chops in Thyme jus tomate provencale Crème caramel * Chocolate mousse * Amaretto ice cream FRI & SAT: 2-course menu £14.50 * 3-course menu £16.50 SUN TO THURS: 2-course menu £10.50 * 3-course menu £12.50
10%
t Discoun with this advert
SOME SIGNATURE DISHES FROM THE A LA CARTE MENU Fole gras de canard with warm toast £9.50 British porterhouse steak * Chips, Béarnaise or garlic butter: £12.95 Smoked Haddock fishcake & baby spinach: £10.50 Our famous Crème Brulée: £4.50 Tarte tatin & Calvados crème fraiche: £4.50
10/11 New Steine Hotel, Brighton BN2 1PB 01273 681546 / 695415 www.newsteinehotel.com reservation@newsteinehotel.com
gourmet three-course lunch on Saturday or Sunday and receive a complimentary bottle of our selected wine. Book a
The restaurant at drakes 43-44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE 01273 696934 www.therestaurantatdrakes.co.uk Valid until end of November 2009. One bottle per table. Diners must bring this coupon. Menu prices £25.00 p.p. for 3 courses.
01903 812347 23 High Street, Steyning, BN44 3YE
2 for 1 on our bar
Zamdani is rated as one of the best by the locals for its high quality of food, bright, modern surroundings and attentive staff. A starter of Murug 65 is excellent and unique to Zamdani. Special offer of £9.95 for a two course meal and 10% discount on takeaways.
home comforts menu Excludes main restaurant. Offer available until the end of October. Terms and conditions apply.
216 Church Road, Brighton, BN3 2DJ
Tel:01273 722216
018_LS445_leglise
18
10/9/09
2:37 PM
Page 2
COVER FEATURE
Bon appetit! A taste of the Parisian brought to Hove; take advantage of the delicious offers at L’Eglise
L
’Eglise is a traditional French restaurant situated in Church Road, Hove. Opened in December 2007 by Julia and JeanChristophe Martin, L’Eglise offers classic French cuisine prepared for contemporary tastes by head chef Jean Yves Guiomar. A seasonal à la carte menu is served Tuesday to Sunday all year round and a twocourse set lunch is priced at just £9.95 from Tuesday to Saturday until 6pm. L’Eglise celebrate all things French with special events once a month including the five-course wine tasting dinners covering a different region of France every time. These events are hosted by renowned wine expert François Domange. On 17 November, they will be holding their next wine evening, celebrating the fines wines of Bordeaux. With tradition in mind and Christmas just around the corner, L’Église thinks it is never too early to start planning ahead for those special Christmas moments. Whether it’s sharing lunch or dinner
with work colleagues and friends, or enjoying a fabulous Christmas lunch on 25 December with family and loved ones, L’Eglise fits the bill. For anyone who enjoys great quality food served in a relaxed Parisian brasserie-style atmosphere then L’Eglise is for you. A fantastic special three-course menu starts on 1 December and
Bars, Clubs and Restaurants Do you have amazing drinks offers? Why not promote them to our readers for as little as £50 + Vat per month
Call Rachel today on
01273 818150
runs until 24 December at £23.50 per person. The menu can be viewed on their website: www.legliserestaurant.co.uk together with menus for à la carte, set lunch, Christmas day and wine tasting dinners. From 18 November to the end of the month they are offering a 10 per cent discount on the Christmas
menu for those who wish to celebrate Christmas early (excluding Fridays and Saturdays). L’Eglise Restaurant, 196 Church Road, BN3 2DJ, Hove. 01273 220868
019_LS445_Hotlist
10/9/09
11:20 AM
Page 1
HOTLIST 19
L7 Hotlist Feeling peckish? Insatiably ravenous? These eateries and bars cater for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk Restaurants American JB’s Diner JB’s Diner is a quirky and cool nod to the classic American Diner, from the ‘50s rock’n’roll and the retro dining booths to the stars ‘n’ stripes flying proud as you eat your way through their delicious USA themed menu. The burgers are generous, fresh, tasty and available in many different varieties, the Texan BBQ and ‘Across The Border’ Mexican being firm favourites. Other top sellers include the foot-long hotdogs and rack of ribs. Add a thick dairy ice-cream shake in many flavours (including Oreo!) and we have an American diner perfect for kids and adults alike, looking out onto the very British Brighton beach. 31 Kings Road, Brighton BN1 1NR, 01273 771776, www.jbsdiner.co.uk
British & modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit, they do the best chips ever tasted and appear to have already acquired several celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk
Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256
Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95 and wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059
Preston Park Tavern A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix in this family-friendly pub. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk
The Restaurant At Drakes Nestled inside Brighton’s finest designer hotel – the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Awarded two coveted AA Rosettes through the skills and talents of head chef Andrew MacKenzie, Drakes offers exquisite cuisine with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Two-course menu for £28 or thee courses for £36. Five course chef’s menu £50. Private dining room available for parties of up to 12 people. The Restaurant At Drakes, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com
Chinese Gars Restaurant This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a
Barney’s Sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058. Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!
French The Arrogant Frog Brasserie This beautiful seafront restaurant serves French and European food at affordable prices. The menu includes a full à la carte, £10 two-course menu and daily specials. Also live music nights and happy hour cocktails between 5 and 7pm. Bring your Odeon cinema ticket receipt for a 10 per cent discount any day and enjoy pasta and a pint for only £6.99 on Orange Wednesdays. From 5–7pm Mondays to Thursdays, receive a free bottle of house wine when two people dine from the £10 menu. On Fridays to Sundays, a free bottle of house wine for every two diners taking two courses each from the à la carte menu. 64 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NA, 01273 721488, reservations@thearrogantfrog.com
Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. There’re also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412
Check out Andrew Kay’s comprehensive Brighton, Hove and Sussex Food & Drink directory online at www.thelatest.co.uk
New Steine Bistro This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 /11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp
L’Église Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the two-course lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk
Indian Chaula’s Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The Lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national awardwinning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824, www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
Italian Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Fat Leo The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk
Brighton Rocks Kemp Town’s best loved bar is delighted to offer its new scrummy freshly cooked menu with vegetarian options. Their 2-for-1 main course is available for lunch and dinner seven days a week from an outstanding £6.50. Sunday roast is a must! They have a generous selection of appreciable wines, awesome beers and wicked cocktails. Come dine in an informal friendly atmosphere. Enjoy! 6 Rock Place Kemp Town, 01273 601139 www.brightonrockspub.com
Thai Sabai Thai Gastrobar Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. With its cosy Thai cushions nestled up on a raised platform, enjoy a 2-for-1 cocktail or dishes in the afternoon from just £4.95. Sabai’s great atmosphere is made complete with an acoustic guitarist on Wednesdays and Sundays. 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place, North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabaibrighton.co.uk, bookings@sabaibrighton.co.uk
Chimney House With a stylish, cosy interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu includes locally-caught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a light lunch and glass of wine or a hearty three-course dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708, www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee
The Dorset A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best people-watching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of homecooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Marys are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423
wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk
JB’s Diner
Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest Hotlist call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105
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20 STAGE
L7 WHAT’S ON
> Tuesday 13 – 19 October >
Stage
Is it different from what you have done before? The new thing in this production is that there is really an attempt to engage on a personal and emotional level. We know we can make people laugh but we want to make people feel something. We have also reached a new level in terms of production values. The Spymonkey team is very Brighton-based, Lucy Bradridge’s costumes are brilliant, she knows what costumes will give us pleasure to perform in. Phil Supple’s lighting is amazing as are Graeme Gilmour’s set. We are working with very high production values and that’s new to us. We were worried that the more beautiful the production is the less funny it would be – but it works and is balanced. It is fantastic having that support and knowing that it looks so good. What age does the show appeal to? Well, there is no nudity this time; the nudity in Cooped sort of became the thing that took over. That now works as a small set piece outside of Cooped. In Southampton with a student audience they were very vocal and they loved it. In Northampton we had a far more middle class and older audience but they also seemed to love it. If you love the book will you be offended? No, there is enough juice for hardcore fans. We have tried to stay faithful to the story despite being Spymonkey. We didn’t expect to do that, we really thought that it would take off at an angle to the original but in fact we use quite a lot of the John Houston script. Ahab’s speeches are fantastic. Spymonkey’s Moby Dick Sat 17–Sun 18 Oct, Magners Brighton Comedy Festival, Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 01273 709709
Whale of a time Andrew Kay talks to Toby Park of Spymonkey about their Moby Dick
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pymonkey are a Brighton-based physical theatre company with an international reputation that took them to a long residency in Las Vegas. They tour and work globally but remain loyal to their home here and to working with Brighton talent to create their anarchically funny theatrical exploits. In fact, Spymonkey take being funny very seriously indeed. How do you, Spymonkey, choose what they do? Moby Dick was an idea from Stephan Kreiss, we wanted to work with Jos Houben, a Belgian director who was an original member of Theatre de Complicité. His is a very different facet of clowning and physical theatre. Stephan suggested Moby Dick and it appealed to us all as it is a story that people think they know, but in fact, not many people have read it. It is an epic too, requiring epic acting. We are also using a lot of the orchestral film score from the film version combined with my pop, 1980s electro sound. Petra Massey wrote some new songs too. The show is partly about the fact that in this very male dominated story there is no part for her. Part of the show is her trying to get into the show. In it she becomes the mermaid figurehead and bemoans the fact that she cannot have children because again, she does not have the parts. You are very much a Brighton-based company but where did you work on the project? We spent last winter doing a residency in the Spiegeltent in Amsterdam and this meant that we could work with Jos. The Dutch have an amazing approach to theatre; they only do one-nighters, so we thought that it would be impossible to tour Cooped, out last major show there. But their technology meant that we could do Cooped with ease. We then went to Chichester University Showroom and we did three weeks of rehearsals and then showed it to the drama students and a few people that were interested. It was in a workshop format and the response informed the next stage of the development. It is only when we are in front of an audience that we can get a feel of the show, the arc of it. It was electrifying, we were trying to save the show and tell the story. What do you mean, save the show? We have all worked with Philippe Gaulier and he has a technique were you have to save the show. He will set a scene and introduce characters but then say that they are held up at the airport and you have to save the show. Staging a massive book like Moby Dick is a daunting prospect and full of long passages about isolation and boredom, how do you approach that? Yes, there is a part of the show about being becalmed. Doing Moby Dick as theatre is doomed, really. In the show my character wants to ‘do’ Moby Dick and it’s about the notion of putting on a play which is about trying to kill a whale; an analogy, also doomed. The others anarchically try to make everything more interesting.
Stagelistings > Tuesday 13 October to Monday 26 October > THE BASEMENT 01273 699733 www.thebasement.uk.com Taboo! An evening of original storytelling in the White Rabbit’s candlelit warren. Enjoy free cakes, sweets, treats, games, competitions and prizes, as well as cocktails and bar. > 14 October, 7.30pm, £6/4 BRIGHTON LITTLE THEATRE 01273 777748 www.the-little.co.uk Entertaining Mr Sloane Joe Orton’s first play caused considerable scandal on its premiere back in 1964. A powerful black comedy. > 14–18 Oct. 7.45pm, £7.50 BRIGHTON DOME, PAVILION THEATRE 01273 700747 www.brightondome.org The Circus Project A delicious blend of locally sourced, incredibly fresh circus talent brought to you by The Circus Project. Jaw-dropping rope, trapeze, hula-hoop, acrobatics and juggling. Suitable for all ages. > 25 Oct, 3pm and 8pm, £8/£5 CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Spike Milligan’s Adolf Hitler: My Part In His Downfall Spike Milligan’s celebrated war memoirs are finally brought to the stage. > 21–24 Oct, £20/10 The Pirates of Penzance Venture into the swashbuckling world of Frederic the pirate. >26 – 31 Oct, 7.30pm, £12–30 CRAWLEY: THE HAWTH 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Beyond Breaking Glass Hazel O’Connor’s candid and moving account, using words and music, details the highs and lows of a career that had her catapulted to stardom
thanks to her starring role in the film Breaking Glass. >13 Oct, 8.15pm, £15 THEATRE ROYAL, BRIGHTON 08448 717650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Rain Man Neil Morrissey takes the Dustin Hoffman role in this stage adaptation of the Oscar-winning ‘80s film. > 13–17 Oct, 7.45pm, Thur Mat 2.30pm & Sat Mat 4pm, £20-£33. We’re Going on a Bear Hunt Michael Rosen’s picture book comes to the stage for ages 3+. > 15–17 Oct, 10.30pm, Sat also 12.30pm, £10.50. Dreamboats and Petticoats West End musical set in the rock ‘n’ roll era. > 19–24 Oct, 7.45pm, Thur & Sat Mats 2.30pm, £21–£34. EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Adolf Hitler: My Part In His Downfall Seven actor musicians translate Spike Milligan’s war memoirs for the stage. > 13–17 Oct, see website for times, £13.50/19.50 NEW VENTURE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Art Yasmina Reza’s record-breaking tragicomedy about the purchase of a painting. > 13–17 Oct (no show Mon), see website for times, £9/7 WORTHING: PAVILION THEATRE 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Ha Ha Hitler! Ridiculous Luftwaffe laughter with a plot thicker than Hitler’s moustache. > 16 October, 7.30pm, £14.50, Child £10
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MUSIC NEWS 21
Musichighlights
Music
> Tuesday 13 October to Monday 19 October >
With Jeff Hemmings
Skindred
SHONA FOSTER Celebrating the launch of her ‘Hard Work’ EP is the ultra-engaging Shona Foster, who can quiet a room at the drop of a note. Although very much out of leftfield, there’s plenty of haunting, cabaretesque melodies fused with a Kate Bush style delivery and some excellent musicianship, including piano, wind and assorted strings. Wednesday 14 October, Prince Albert
ANDY WHITE Belfast born troubadour Andy White plays his rootsy-pop songs around the globe. New album Songwriter is another fine addition to his CV, recorded in Vancouver and features contributions from members of Po’ Girl and The Be Good Tanyas. Here he’ll be accompanied by Croatian Texan accordion player Rad Lorkovic. Sunday 18 October, Latest Music Bar
SKINDRED Welsh outfit who are seeping slowly up from the underground towards more mainstream success. A raging dub/ragga meets thrash metal hybrid, fronted by dreadlocked Benji Webbe, their third album Shark Bites And Dog Fights has just been released. Wednesday 19 October, Concorde 2
WORLD SACRED MUSIC FESTIVAL Themed on the ‘South’ and part of a global network of events, this year’s World Sacred Music Festival features music and dance from Africa, India, South America and Southern Europe, with a strong thread of gypsy, flamenco and native traditions. Without Arts Council funding the festival is searching for creative ways of making ends meet including a 100-mile sponsored walk along the South Downs Way! www.worldsacredmusic.org Until 18 October, various venues
STAYING TRU Brighton’s Tru Thoughts celebrate their tenth birthday this month. Label boss Paul Jonas talked to Latest 7
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et up in 1999 by Paul Jonas and Rob Luis, Tru Thoughts celebrate their tenth year this month with a bash at Coalition in Brighton. The event will feature a number of live acts and DJs currently on the label, including TM Juke, Belleruche, Lizzy Parks, Kinny, Flevans and Natural Self. Against all the odds, the label has come through turbulent times and is now firmly established here and abroad as a label that combines musical excellence with rare integrity and honesty. “I’d heard him DJing and was really keen to meet him,” recalls Paul Jonas when referring to his business partner Rob Luis. “Then, at this club, Rob was cowering in the corner handing out flyers, we got talking, and I ended up handing out the flyers!” Ex-business studies student Rob Luis had already established himself on the Brighton club scene with the legendary Shake Yer Wig club night, as well as tentatively setting up the Sophisticuts label, the precursor to Tru Thoughts. But when he hooked up with Paul things started taking off. “Jazz, soul and funk is the very basis of what we do, although obviously we do all sorts of styles nowadays.” Artists who have graced the label include Bonobo, Alice Russell, Hot 8 Brass Band,
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Lizzy Parks
Hint, Nostalgia 77 and Quantic, and a couple of years ago they won the Record label of the Year award in Gilles Peterson’s Radio One Worldwide Awards. “ A lot of labels are bad at accounting and paying people,” says Paul. “The profile of Tru Thoughts has helped us attract great musicians, which is partly due to our reputation of integrity.” Over the years, Tru Thoughts have developed networks across the globe, becoming a truly international label, albeit one that is based here in Brighton. “We have about 20 artists on our roster, and release 12 to 15 albums a year. We do the 360 degree model with some of our artists and we also help reduce the need for them to employ managers and agents.” While Rob Luis tends to be the ears of the outfit, Paul is the implementor. Overseeing the processes of negotiating, contracting, mastering and manufacturing. “We do everything in-house; we have a publicity and promotions arm, we do distribution and publishing, too. Really, we are just one big happy family!” Tru Thoughts Tenth Birthday Party, Friday 16 October, Coalition.
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MUSIC & CLUB LISTINGS
Clublistings
Musiclistings
> Tuesday 13 October to Monday 19 October >
> Tuesday 13 October to Monday 19 October >
TUESDAY 13 AUDIO New Slang. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS BRIGHTON COALITION Latin Fever. Fine salsa and Latin rhythms. 10pm–2am, £3/2 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Cheese Room. Classic tunes and disco beats. 11pm–4am, £3/free HONEY CLUB Indie Rocks. 11pm–3am, £2/1 LIFE The Vice Social. 10.30pm–2.30am, £2/free PAVILION TAVERN Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1
KOMEDIA Born Bad. A wild and sexy night of delinquent rhythms, ‘50s rock’n’roll, 6Ts garage and girl groups. 11pm, £6/5 LIFE Daft Life. Alt.dance, indie-leaning house and firing electro. 10pm–3am, £4/2 OCEAN ROOMS Bass and Beats. Got anything better to do this Friday? 11pm–4am, free PAVILION TAVERN Kick Out The Jams. Bringing rock’n’roll mayhem. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 VOLKS Erisian. The mutant rave juggernaut is back with Igor and Monster X. 11pm–6am, £8/5
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AUDIO Supercharged. A hearty bass feast treat with upcoming D’n’B Producer/DJ, Alix Perez. 11pm–2.30am, £3/1 BRIGHTON COALITION Cha Mon. Guest indie DJs, Futureheads. 10.30pm–3.30am, £2–4 DIGITAL The Poundance. Indie, R’n’B, electro, house, classics, dubstep and chart tracks. 11pm–3.30am, £1 JAM Ghost Ryde. Hip-hop for optimists... 10pm–2am, £2 LIFE Let’s Kill Disco. Playing all manner of dirty mash-ups and filthy beats. 10.30pm–2.30am, £3/1
AUDIO Schtumm! The don of free parties brings house, electro and Techno. 11pm–4am, free BRIGHTON COALITION Pop Musik. Unadulterated pop pleasures, classic hits and maverick pop genius! 11pm–4am, £10/6 CONCORDE 2 Beatdown. After ramming the venue in April, Scratch Perverts return with some more turntable wizardry alongside Zinc and N-Type. 11pm–4am, £11.50 DIGITAL Playroom. Funky house and dirty electro grooves. 11pm–4am, £15/12 ENGINE ROOMS Classic Rock. 10pm, £5/free FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Buddha Soul. With Juice FM’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10 HONEY CLUB Sevensins. Electro, trance and house with guests. 10.30pm–5am, £10/8 KOMEDIA Spellbound. An ‘80s club night for all the haters of ‘80s nights. 9pm, £5 NEW HERO It is Still 1985. Alternative ‘80s night full of adventurous tunes! 10pm, £3 OCEAN ROOMS Definition vs Strictly Drumz. D-Bridge is at the epicentre of a badass bassline tremor! 11pm–5am, £5 THE HANBURY Boogaloo Stu’s Pop Kraft. Primary pop overload, plus outrageous party games. 7pm–2am, £8/6 VOLKS Freshers Dubstep Mayhem. Bringing you another dose of dubstep with bass weight to make you meditate! 11pm–5am, £7
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THURSDAY 15 BRIGHTON COALITION Secret Discotheque. Retro disco, ‘80s pop, hair metal, TV theme tunes. 10pm–3am, £3/2 NUS DIGITAL Thursday Club. Three-pronged bass attack as Foreign Beggars bring the live show, hip-hop ruckus, Bristol’s award winning B-Funk master Joker and Norf Landon trio, Man Like Me. 11pm–3am, £8 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE BangBang. Playing the hippest hip-hop, the freshest dup step and the most banging D’n’B! 11pm–5am, £1 b4 12 LIFE Club NME. Live NME bands and Brighton DJs. 10.30pm–3am, £2/1 PO NA NA Pick’n’Mix. You pick it ‘n’ they’ll mix it. 10.30pm–3am, £1
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AUDIO Battlejam. Genre erasing, maverick turntablism and live D’n’B from JFB and Beardyman. 11pm–4am, £4/2 BRIGHTON COALITION Tru Thoughts 10th Birthday Party. The stars of the label are out en masse to blow this bash up in style 8pm–3.30am, £8/5 CONCORDE 2 Silent Disco Freshers Spectacular. 11pm–4am, £8 ENGINE ROOMS Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock alternative. 11pm–3am, £5/3 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Big Fat Party Classics. Pablo Contraband and Friends 11pm, £5/3 HANBURY CLUB Club Chat Noir. Gypsy and ‘20s/’30s hot swing club. 7pm–2am, £10/4 HONEY CLUB Kidology. Seriously unserious, flamboyant party ‘sphere of uplifting, bassdriven house and a glam crowd! 11pm, £5/7
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Eastpak Antidote Tour: Alexisonfire + Anti-Flag + Four Year Strong + The Ghost Of A Thousand The long-running autumn tradition returns to these shores with Canadian hardcore types Alexisonfire headlining and top Brighton rockers The Ghost Of A Thousand given a shot with some big names. Concorde 2, 7pm, £15
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WEDNESDAY 14 Brighton Folk: Amy Hill + Jaime Regan + Catherine Allin + Danni Nicholls Showcase of local acoustic folk performers. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £3 NME Radar Tour: Golden Silvers + Marina & The Diamonds + Local Natives + Yes Giantess The hip thermometer’s latest recommendations for the big league, this time including the ‘80s electro-pop worshipping Golden Silvers and folkinfused US indie types Local Natives. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £9.50 Shona Foster Single launch for the idiosyncratic Brighton singer-songwriter. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc
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THURSDAY 15
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SATURDAY 17 Ska Toons ‘40s style swing night with local favourites Nicky Mitchell and the Hepkat Huzzahs bringing the party tunes. Komedia, 7.30pm, £15 Mike TV + Corrigan + Advantage + The Ruined Debut show for the pop-punk project of Random Heroes alumni. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £5 Ska Toons Ska and jazz classics old and new performed by the Munday family band. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £8/7
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SUNDAY 18 Andy White + Rad Lorkovic Belfast-born troubadour and Peter Gabriel collaborator playing roots music. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £7 Animals Asia Benefit: Pog + Philip Jeays + The Indelicates + Asbo Derek Locals unite for our furry friends across the seas. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc The Evening Service Live gospel band. Latest Music Bar, 7pm, free Themselves Electro-fried US hip-hop compared to the likes of cLOUDDEAD. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £tbc Therapy? + Thoughts Collide Veteran ‘90s Northern Irish grunge rockers still have a strong cult following and a few tricks up their sleeves. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £13 This Will Destroy You + And So I Watch You From Afar Occasionally brilliant postrockers bring their epic soundscapes to the seaside. Audio, 7.30pm, £tbc
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The Bad Shepherds (Adrian Edmondson) + Ella Edmondson The Young Ones comedian’s band plays bluegrass covers of punk staples. Surprisingly, they’re actually pretty good! Concorde 2, 8pm, £15 The Defiled + South of Saturn Solid, abrasive, satisfying London metalcore. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £tbc Grand Avenue Music Soul, funk, disco and pop covers from the ‘60s to the present. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £6/5 Horse Songs of love and loss from this singer-songwriter’s eighth album. Komedia, 8pm, £12.50 Teitur + The Wellingtons Brass-focused, folksy indie pop-rock from Copenhagen with quality songwriting and Scandinavian quirkiness MONDAY 19 to boot. Dalek Freebutt, 7.30pm, £tbc Breakthrough with Rough Trade The Spirit Of Gravity Experimental Unsigned local bands showcase. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5/4 electronic music night. Komedia, 8pm, £5/4 Dalek Staggeringly good heavy New Jersey rap blending atmospheric sonic experimentation FRIDAY 16 with a sharp political edge and, most Bear Pop + November Five + The World importantly, incredibly infectious grooves. Audio, 7.30pm, £9 According To... Pavement-influenced Brighton Girls + Swanton Bombs Downbeat San-Fran surf pop-rockers with some decent tunes. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc pop-rockers. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc Laid Back And Late Piano Bar With Glen Skindred + Dead By April + Karnivool + Floors Richardson Late night piano chillout. Komedia, 11pm, £3 And Walls The Welsh inventors of the ragga The Troggs + Spencer Davis Band + The branch of nu-metal still going strong. Featuring Animals ‘60s pop rock legends reunite for a former members of Dub War. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £12.50 night of classic retro hits. Komedia, 8pm, £20 Nick Aldwinckle
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DIGITAL Deadmau5. Epic electro-house from this phenomenal deceased rodent! 10pm–3am, SOLD OUT HONEY CLUB Sundelicious. House and soulful beats. 10pm, £2/1 LIFE Maxxi Soundsystem. Full on party soundsystem. 6pm, free.
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tues 13 oct
thurs 15 oct
sun 18 oct
the space with record producer/manager joe boyd + kate mosse, author of labyrinth 7.30pm £6/4
grand avenue music live soul funk and disco hits with top soulstress katarina 8pm £6/5
wed 14 oct
fri 16 oct
upstairs vinyard the evening service band + guest musicians 7pm £free downstairs andy white + radoslav lorkovic irish troubadour 8pm £7
brighton folk amy hill + jaime reagan + catherine allin + danni nicholls, laid back and earthy folkcountry 8pm £3
sweet hove chicago hove’s leading blues band 8pm £6
mon 19 oct
sat 17 oct ska toons a rocking collision of ska, funk and jazz 8pm £8/7
manchester street, brighton tel.
01273 687171
breakthrough with rough trade the best breaking acts around+djs 8pm £5/4nus
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
023_LS445_film
10/8/09
12:38 PM
Page 1
Supported by
FILM 23
filmhighlight
L7 Film
Zombieland (15) Dir: Ruben Fleischer
Post zombie-apocalypse is so now, darling! Or so it would seem as Jesse Eisenberg uses his 47 rules of survival in a zombie-infested land. Mostly they refer to running away – fast. Until he meets Woody Harrelson’s gun-toting Tallahassee, who has the opposite approach. Joined by sisters Witchita and Little Rock, the unlikely group take a trip with laughs and gore a-plenty. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
Showing this week Surrogates (12A) Dir: Jonathan Mostow Imagine what it would be like if you could live through your favourite games avatar. Folk living out their wildest dreams through robotic surrogates while keeping their real selves safe in isolation. Bliss... until the first murder in 15 years rocks the world. FBI agents Bruce Willis and Radha Mitchell are hot on the case, linking the crime to surrogate creation. Showing at Cineworld
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (12A) Dir: Terry Gilliam
A Faustian pact with the devil ties Christopher Plummer to endless youth but delivers his daughter (Lily Cole) to Old Nick on her 16th birthday. Only one loophole presents itself – Plummer and his daughter’s ardent suitor (Heath Ledger in his final role) must save five souls from passing over to the Devil. Gilliam on form in his fantastical home. Showing at Duke of York’s
Love Happens (12A) Dir: Brandon Camp Ah, bless. Billed as a grown-up romantic drama, this sees self-help
Fame (PG) Dir: Kevin Tancharoen
Up (U) (3D and 2D) Dir: Pete Docter, Bob Peterson
After many teasers on the internet and in the cinemas Up is finally out, the latest from the Disney Pixar stable and from the minds that brought us the Oscar-winning WALL:E and Monsters Inc. Carl Fredricksen (voiced by Ed Asner) is a cantankerous old man, being evicted from the home he loved with his late wife. Determined not to leave but still to go on a fabulous adventure to South America he ties thousands of balloons to his roof and sets off, in situ. Joining him is accidental hitchhiker and junior Wilderness Explorer Russell (voiced by Jordan Nagai). Absolutely enchanting. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Connaught
guru Aaron Eckhart trying to get through his emotional scars in order to make the most of a spark with
Jennifer Aniston. Yup, everyone’s got baggage. Even movie stars now. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
A reworking of a classic 1980 Alan Parker film as envisioned by dancer/choreographer/director Tancharoen. Time to take another trip to the high school of performing arts, where the teachers are tough but fair, and the kids are overflowing with talent and hormones. Maybe a smidge less dark than the original. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Connaught
Thirst (18) Dir: Chan-wook Park
A new twist on the vampire tale from Korea, as the virtuous priest (Kang-ho Song) volunteers to be part of a medical experiment to find a cure for a terrible disease. Doesn’t work, and our priest comes back from the dead seemingly unharmed. Except for a hunger for human blood and a body full of decadent urges. Yikes! Showing at Duke of York’s
SHOWING THIS WEEK 01273 626261
0871 224 4007
0871 200 2000
01903 206206
cineworld.co.uk
picturehouses.co.uk
odeon.co.uk
worthingtheatres.co.uk
TUESDAY 13
TUESDAY 13
TUESDAY 13
TUESDAY 13
Anything For Her (15) 9.15 Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2D (U) 12.00 District 9 (15) 4.15 Fame (PG) 12.45, 3.15, 5.45, 8.15 Halloween 2 (18) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30 The Invention of Lying (12A) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 Love Happens (12A) 12.15, 2.45, 5.15, 7.45 Up 3D (U) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 Up 2D (U) 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 Zombieland (15) 1.15, 3.45, 6.15, 8.45
Birdwatchers (15) 1.30 (Silver Screen) Katalin Varga (15) 6.30 Le Donk & Scor-zay-zee (15) 4.00 (Silver Screen) The Vanishing of the Bees (U) 8.30 The Young Girls of Rochefort (PG) 11.00am (Silver Screen)
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 1.20, 6.00 Fame (PG) 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10 The Invention Of Lying (12A) 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 Love Happens (12A) 1.10, 3.40, 6.10, 8.45 Surrogates (12A) 12.40, 2.50, 5.00, 7.10, 9.30 Up 3D (U) 12.30, 1.30, 3.00, 3.30, 4.00, 5.30, 6.30, 8.00, 8.30, 9.00 Zombieland (15) 1.00, 3.10, 5.20, 7.30, 9.40
Dirty Dancing (12A) 8.00 Fame (PG) tbc The Soloist (12A) 7.30
WEDNESDAY 14 Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2D (U) 12.00 Couples Retreat (15) 1.45, 4.15, 6.45, 9.15 Fame (PG) 12.45, 3.15, 5.45, 8.15 Halloween 2 (18) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30 The Invention of Lying (12A) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 Love Happens (12A) 12.15, 2.45, 5.15, 7.45 Up 3D (U) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 Up 2D (U) 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 Zombieland (15) 1.15, 3.45, 6.15, 8.45
THURSDAY 15 Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2D (U) 12.00 Couples Retreat (15) 1.45, 4.15, 6.45, 9.15 Fame (PG) 12.45, 3.15, 5.45, 8.15 Halloween 2 (18) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.30 The Invention of Lying (12A) 1.00, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 Last Chance Harvey (12A) 10.30am Love Happens (12A) 12.15, 2.45, 5.15, 7.45 Up 3D (U) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 Up 2D (U) 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 Zombieland (15) 1.15, 3.45, 6.15, 8.45
WEDNESDAY 14 Birdwatchers (15) 1.30 Katalin Varga (15) 6.30 Le Donk & Scor-zay-zee (15) 11.00am (Big Scream), 8.30 Morris: A Life with Bells On (12A) 4.00
THURSDAY 15 Birdwatchers (15) 1.30 Katalin Varga (15) 6.30 Le Donk & Scor-zay-zee (15) 8.30 Morris: A Life with Bells On (12A) 4.00
FRIDAY 16 Ferris Bueller's Day Off (15) 11.30pm The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 4.00, 9.00 Thirst (18) 1.00, 6.20
SATURDAY 17 Home on the Range (U) 11.00am (Kids’ Club) The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 3.40, 9.00
SUNDAY 18
WEDNESDAY 14 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 1.20, 6.00 Couples Retreat (15) 12.10, 2.30, 4.50, 7.10, 9.30 Fame (PG) 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10 The Invention Of Lying (12A) 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 Love Happens (12A) 1.10, 3.40, 6.10, 8.45 Up 3D (U) 12.30, 1.30, 3.00, 3.30, 4.00, 5.30, 6.30, 8.00, 8.30, 9.00 Zombieland (15) 1.00, 3.10, 5.20, 7.30, 9.40
WEDNESDAY 14 Dirty Dancing (12A) 8.00 Fame (PG) tbc The Soloist (12A) 7.30
THURSDAY 15 Fame (PG) tbc The Soloist (12A) 2.00, 7.30
FRIDAY 16 Up (U) 4.30, 7.00
SATURDAY 17 Up (U) 1.30, 4.30, 7.00
SUNDAY 18 Tbc
THURSDAY 15 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 1.20, 6.00 Couples Retreat (15) 12.10, 2.30, 4.50, 7.10, 9.30 Fame (PG) 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10 The Invention Of Lying (12A) 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 Love Happens (12A) 1.10, 3.40, 6.10, 8.45 Up 3D (U) 12.30, 1.30, 3.00, 3.30, 4.00, 5.30, 6.30, 8.00, 8.30, 9.00 Zombieland (15) 1.00, 3.10, 5.20, 7.30, 9.40
Soldiers of Peace (15) 1.30 The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 4.00, 9.00 Thirst (18) 6.20
Films showing Friday 16–Monday 19
MONDAY 19
Films showing Friday 16–Monday 19
Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 3.40, 9.00 Thirst (18) 1.00, 6.20
Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
MONDAY 19 Born Free (U) 2.00 Up (U) 1.30, 4.30, 7.00
The Soloist
024_LS445_comedy/gaylist
24
10/9/09
11:39 AM
Page 2
COMEDY | GAY LISTINGS
Comedypreview
Gaylistings
> Tuesday 13 October to Monday 19 October >
> Tuesday 13 October to Monday 19 October >
John Bishop
TUESDAY 13
John Bishop is busy mysteriously filming abroad. We tracked him down and gave him a grilling about work, family and Elvis. L7: Where are you and what are you working on? JB: I am currently in Jordan making a film which will be out next year but which I can't say too much about. Apart from that I am just making sure I have enough jokes for the tour! L7: Would you describe your show for our readers? JB: It’s a bloke having a chat but leaving out all the stuff that's not funny – I am sure I could sell it better than that, but I think that is probably the most accurate description. L7: Do you feel you have an affinity with Elvis – does this manifest in a love of burgers, 'ah-huhs', or jumpsuits at all? JB: I talk about this a lot in the show and the truth is, Elvis is the only person who looked good being fat in a jumpsuit, I know, I have tried, and the mirror never lies – he looked like a King, I look like the world’s worst strippergram! L7: Your family has a big presence in your comedy. How do they feel about it? JB: It is the only valid reason to have children – for the material! L7: Do you dance like Elvis or do you 'dad-dance'? JB: I dance like Elvis' Dad. L7: Who makes you laugh? JB: My mates, my dad, my kids and my dog Bilko who thinks he is a 32-yearold man who is a company executive and owns our house. L7: Do you enjoy playing to a Brighton audience? JB: I have always had a great time in Brighton. Stephen Grant runs a great club at the Komedia which is great all year round but the comedy festival is well supported so I am looking forward to it. John Bishop – Elvis Has Left the Building, is on Saturday 17 October, Pavilion Theatre, £12/10 as a part of the Magners Brighton Comedy Festival.
BRIGHTON TAVERN Games Games Games. 12pm, free CHARLES STREET BAR Two’s Company. Double dose of cabaret with Maisie Trollette and Miss Jason. 9pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Killer Pool. 9pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free REVENGE Sound As A Pound. Deck Heroine LadyBex throws out ‘80s, ‘90s, ‘00s, electro, pop, dance and cheese. Plus a hefty raffle prize! 10.30pm, £1 THE BASEMENT Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free
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AMSTERDAM Student Karaoke. 8pm, free LEGENDS Gabbi’s Fun and Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free QUEEN’S ARMS Karaoke Star 2009 – 1st prize £150. Can you belt out a pop, rock country song or maybe a ballad? 9.15pm, free MARLBOROUGH Student Night. Can’t cook? Won’t cook? Never fear, drink and pizza promos for NUS all night! 6pm, free R-BAR The Midweek Shuffle. Brighton’s hottest new DJ, Zack Hadley rocks R-Bar with cheesy pop, chart, ‘90s dance and club. 12pm–2am REVENGE Random. Spanking new night of live bands and DJs. 10.30pm, £3 THE BASEMENT Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free
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THURSDAY 15 CHARLES STREET BAR Mad Cow XL – My Cow Is On Fire. Funky house across two floors. Plus cheap as Primark Pants drinks deals! 8pm–3am, £1 (goes to charity) DOCTOR BRIGHTONS DJ Competition. Let the deck-dueling commence as undiscovered DJ talent battle for your votes! 1pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Open Mic Night. Hosted by Lucy Checkley. 9pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-BAR Pre-Girls on Top Party. Verity sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes. 10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30 with passes, £5/4 after THE BASEMENT DLite. Regular guest DJs lay down commercial house tracks. 11pm–4am, free
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TUESDAY 13 Rhod Gilbert – The Cat That Looked Like Nicholas Lyndhurst This year Gilbert's given his show a ridiculous title just to annoy someone. The follow-up to last year's sell-out show. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 7.30pm, £15
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WEDNESDAY 14 Cazza Comedy Fantastic headline comedy from Robin Ince comes to the Level, with support from Lee Hume, Sean McLoughlin, Jeff Lane, Karl Davison, Charlie Duncan and your compere Jim Grant. Caroline of Brunswick, 8.30pm, £7
>
New Art Club In 1983, Tom illegally taped the first Now That's What I Call Music! LP onto a C60 cassette. 25 years later he played it to Pete and they made a show about it. Pavilion Theatre, 7.30pm, £12/11
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THURSDAY 15 Arthur Smith – An Audience with Arthur Smith With witty observations much loved broadcaster, comedian, stalwart of the UK comedy circuit and Grumpy Old Man Arthur Smith puts the world to rights. Corn Exchange, 7.30pm, £14/12
FRIDAY 16 Richard Herring: Hitler Moustache Reclaiming Chaplin’s moustache for comedy, the star muses on iconography and whether racists are closer to Liberals to believing that all people are the same. Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome 9.30pm, £14/12
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The Herrins and Collings Podcast Welcome to the incredibly popular Andrew Collings (Andrew Collins) and Richard Herrin (Richard Herring) podcasts in which they deliver their own sideways look at the news. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 7pm, £8
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Zoe Lyons: Miss Machismo Local girl Zoe Lyons returns to the Magners Brighton Comedy Festival following her if.comedy nomination in 2007 and DAVE award for best joke at the Fringe in 2008. Also on Saturday. Pavilion Theatre, 9.15pm, £12/11
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SATURDAY 17 Jason Byrne – The Byrne Supremacy Officially the highest-ever selling artist at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe – Jason Byrne returns. Corn Exchange, 10pm, £14/12
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Brighton Comedy Fringe Launch with Robin Ince Comic sage Robin Ince hosts the launch of The 4th Comedy Fringe Festival. With special guests. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £8/5
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Laugh Down Babylon Gerry Bernstein hosts a night of laughter, with Suzie Woo, Johnny the Poet, Lana Garth, Kev Heritage and Romesh Ronganathan + DJ Da Mad Hat. Caroline of Brunswick, 9pm, £3/2
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Terry Alderton Perrier Award nominee and Royal Variety performer, Terry Alderton holds the record for the most consecutive encores at the world famous Comedy Store. This is his show. Komedia, 7.30pm, £12
SUNDAY 18 Stephen Grant – Made In Brighton A Brighton comedian doing stuff about Brighton during the Magners Brighton Comedy Festival. Fab. Corn Exchange, 8.30pm, £13/12
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FRIDAY 16 BRIGHTON ROCKS Gay Outings. Launch of a new social group for down-to-earth gay men to do some 'off the scene' socialising. 7.30pm, free CHARLES STREET BAR Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies. Bar open 11am, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Flauncy Friday. Filthy funky dance and house. 9.30pm–2am, free GHETTO Popstarz. Indie. 10pm, free b4 11pm LEGENDS Pre-Celebration. Pure pop. 7pm, free
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SATURDAY 17
WEDNESDAY 14
>
Comedy listings
MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Girl’s Night. Two floors of mayhem with guest DJs. 8pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Camp Attack + Karaoke. Definitive handbag, commercial and camp tunes with DJ Andy B. 9pm, free R-BAR Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE X Factor Fridays. Raise your hands as each X Factor finalist takes a turn to cause a Revenge ruckus! 10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after THE BASEMENT Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Double the DJ power with Peter Castle playing girly pop & handbag tracks all night long. 11pm–4am, free
AMSTERDAM Sun Downers + Late Night Bar. The best beach house music in town. 8pm–5am, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Mardi Gras. HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3. LEGENDS Pre-Ignition. DJs from 7pm. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Queen Jo at the Marly offers fab funky house. 9pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Auntie Robbie + Karaoke. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30–5.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin til midnite! Bar open Bar open 12pm, free R-BAR Kinky Classics. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous. Bar open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Kinky Dangerous. Two top DJs, two floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 5.5 hours of frolics. 10.30pm–6am, £7/3 THE BASEMENT Ignition. With the funky house and chart remix sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free THE PV AT THE JURY’S OUT Booty Call. Special guest DJ Soap spins body shakin’ summer rollers. 12pm, free THE ZONE Presents... Miss Hap. 9.30pm, free
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SUNDAY 18 AMSTERDAM Sunday Lunch and Connie’s Karaoke. Karaoke from 8pm. 12pm–1am, free LEGENDS Sunday Cabaret with Topping & Butch. 3.15pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Sunday Quiz. With Drag King, Jack Roquard. 7pm, £1 entry QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Kitty Litter + Betty’s Karaoke. 12pm, free R-BAR Sublime Sundays and Barmy Bingo. 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Charity fundraiser for Pride. 10.30pm–4am, Donations on the door THE BASEMENT Fever. Disco and pop remixes. 11pm–4am, free
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MONDAY 19 CHARLES STREET CLUB Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin all the best party tracks spanning the last four decades. 10pm–2am, £1.50 LEGENDS Dave Lynn and Friends. Hysterical night of cabaret from 9.30pm. 11am–5am, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Trans Night. Hosted with the Clare Project. 8.30pm, free R-BAR Miss Jason’s Mad House. Regular cabaret night plus a Wii Zone and free pool! 10pm, free QUEENS ARMS Deal or No Deal Drinks + Karaoke. 8pm–1am, free
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000_LH445_BrightonComedyFest
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026_LS445_Sports/TV_Column
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10/9/09
11:50 AM
Page 2
L7 TV
SPORT | TV
L7 Sport
YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE
13–19 OCTOBER
With Peter Knight
Revving things up Brighton and Hove Albion have the potential, but will they see it through?
S
tuttering to life like an old banger you and your dad are doing up, the Albion ain’t quite up and running just yet. With a total clear out of most of the parts that just weren’t up to it, new key replacements in the engine department and a rejuvenated upfront that’s already showing signs of reaching full throttle, one component after another goes bust or still needs a clean up and a tweak. And even though we’re only just coming up to a quarter of the way in for the Albion with a long way to go, the excitement of avoiding relegation with promotion-winning performances at the end of the last campaign makes this season’s start feel like we’re witnessing a side un-fulfilling its potential. True, the pile of injuries and the continual poor refereeing in home games is making that hill to progression even steeper. But the potential is there and most of us are frustratingly seeing it. Once Dickinson gets his next goal we know they’ll go flooding in. Once the team play and vision comes back to Dicker and the rest of the midfield that fluid passing we’ve seen in spurts will then flourish. Once McNulty and Whing reach full fitness they’ll be bounding up and down those flanks. It just isn’t happening yet.
“Once Dickinson gets his next goal we know they’ll go flooding in”
Pic: Peter Knight
There’s no magic answer. Even Ferguson’s managerial spells can’t fulfil the void created by Ronaldo’s departure – even with Giggs playing the best football of his life. And even if there was a potion that could fix floundering teams, the Albion are closer to tasting it than the Portsmouths, Ipswitches and Darlingtons right now. Changes in the back-room and coaching staff have a way to go. Sorting out that poor disciplinary record would obviously help. And while every team goes through high injury patches, Slade knows they need the strength and depth throughout the squad to compete when team selection isn’t ideal. Stealing practically all of the future life blood out of Stockport – minus the goal-hungry Baker – has given us the long-throw storming-forward defender Tunnicliffe along with all the others, including the youth and the experienced already here, all bundled up in that annoyingly optimistic word ‘potential’ that is written all over this club. The Albion are revving. The engine is warming up. The open league is there ahead for the club to steer its way up. We know it will happen. We’re Albion fans. And our hearts will always soar over the Goldstone, the Withdean, the future and Falmer. Right, get the jump start leads out...
Telly Talk With Victoria Nangle
Smith & alien The Sarah Jane Adventures, CBBC, Thursday & Friday
E
ver since Stuart first grinned at me on Queer As Folk’s Canal Street and quipped his way into some young stud’s bed I’ve loved everything to come out of the Russell T Davis stable of lushness. Add to that Vince’s love of all things Doctor Who and it was as if this groundbreaking gay drama was actually simply there to pitch for the alien gig anyway. And of course he got it. Then we got something I didn’t bargain on. More. I’ve watched Torchwood, Doctor Who and more than a couple of Doctor Who Confidentials, but my only experience of The Sarah Jane Adventures had been that funny hybred storyline that brought her gang together with Unit and Torchwood to – you guessed it – save the planet. In case you didn’t know, we live on a particularly vulnerable inhabitat, and that’s before we even start talking about greenhouse gases and the like. In Russell T’s world it’s a veritable Mecca for invasion from alien forces, or even just a bit of random decimation. Such is the risk in this, the opening two-parter of the second series of The Sarah Jane Adventures. Accidental knocks from the flotsam and jetsom of the universe’s life, manifesting in the form of the Judoon, a rhino-looking jobsworth of a galactic law enforcer on the trail of his escaped prisoner. These things will happen if you crash through the Earth’s atmosphere in your police-ship. With humans deemed “irrelevant”, it’s up to Sarah Jane, her genius son, neighbour girl investigator and – well, a rather cool teenager who completes their little gang, to avoid any collatoral damage from the
visit. Oh, and Mr Smith can help as a sort of super-computer in the attic. Yup, in just the same way that Torchwood was Doctor Who postwatershed, this Russell T Davis creation brings the pan-galactic world to the under 12s without losing any of the pizzazz. There truly is peril. There really are aliens. Sarah Jane absolutely has a sonic lipstick. There are even bits of trademark humour when the Judoon delays his objective with his hesitation in passing through a door marked ‘Authorised Personel Only’. Class jobsworth! It’s not dumbed down either. It’s simply de-sexed – without any quivering undertones of unrequited love or soul mates. This is good solid interacting with alien races without prejudice yet still trying to save the planet if some turn out to be hostile. You’ll always get one who wants to spoil the party. One who looks rather dashing in horns but can easily open door handles with the dexterity of a born human. Pretty much like the aliens of old stylee Doctor Who. In fact, this has all of the fun clunkiness of costume of yesteryear, with lashings of present-day witty repartee. Vince would be so proud.
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Reach over
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WEEKLY CHRISTMAS GIFT GUIDES! To book your space today please contact Rachel on 01273 818150 x 105 or rachelb@thelatest.co.uk
029_LS445_TV_Tues
10/8/09
2:33 PM
Page 1
tuesday 13 Around the World in 80 Days BBC1, 9pm It’s Children In Need time coming around again, which means a collection of celebs doing something cool, sponsored by us to raise a bundle. This time it’s relay around the world, with Frank Skinner and Lee Mack taking the first leg from the Reform Club in London to Turkey.
Joan Does Glamour ITV1, 9pm Joan Collins thinks British women have let themselves go. Easy for her to say with bags of loot and stylists coming out of her coiffed ears. Joany doesn’t think this makes too much of a difference. Wanna swap? Well, she’ll meet us halfway and help three generations scrub up well with only high street wares. Woo-hoo!
Jack Osbourne: Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie ITV2, 9pm Jack’s got his celebrity pack and he’s ready to put them through their paces in the Canadian Rockies. Woo-hah! Natalie Imbruglia, Lord of the Rings’ Billy Boyd and Konnie Huq will be climbing, canyon swinging, high speed mountain biking and caving. Getting a few callouses.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 What’s New Scooby Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Raven 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.10am Children’s Television 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.10 Charlie And Lola 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary Geography 11.20 Science Clips 11.30 Telling Tales 11.35 Telling Tales 11.40 Let’s Write A Story 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Animal Park 2.30 Open House 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia is joined by the saved couple, and looks at the highs and lows of the weekend’s dances in Choreography Corner. 7.00 Wainwright’s Walks Julia Bradbury explores the Lake District landscape that inspired the British walker and author Alfred Wainwright. 7.30 Heir Hunters Series which follows the work of teams of probate detectives who track down missing family members of people who have died without making a will. 8.15 Masterchef The Professionals It is the semi-finals, and each pair of winners from the quarter-finals will go head to head for a place in the last four. 9.00 Horizon: Do I Drink Too Much? Alcohol is by far the most widely used drug. So why are so many of us drinking over the recommended limits? Addiction expert John Marsden makes a professional and personal exploration of our relationship with alcohol. 10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland Jools is joined by La Roux, Seasick Steve, Wolfmother, Magazine and soul singer Jimmy Ruffin. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 The Choir Revisited Gareth Malone checks up on his choir. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 Class Clips 5.00 Race
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 Sali Mali 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 Frasier 8.55 Will And Grace 9.30 Battlefront 10.00 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.30 KNTV – Philosophy 11.00 Lifeproof TV 11.30 The Family: Teen Stories 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Glamour Puds 1.00 FILM: Ice Cold In Alex (1958) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Breaking Into Tesco 12.40pm Five News 12.50 How To Be A Property Developer 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 FILM: The Nanny Express (2008) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 LIVE Masters Tennis 3.00pm Netbusters 3.30 Football League 5.00 Netbusters 5.30 NFL - Total Access 6.30 Football Asia 7.00 Hyundai A League 7.30 LIVE: Under 21s International Football 10.00 Football Asia 10.30 Hyundai A League 11.00 NFL - Total Access 12.00am Under 21s International Football 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Hyundai A League 3.30 Under 21s International Football 5.00 Hyundai A League 5.30 Football Asia
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Ashley lies to Vincent about Sally’s whereabouts. That’s not good for a vicar. Bad vicar! 7.30 Grimefighters Series following the work of Britain’s clean-up teams. 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Ten more hopeful contestants compete for a place in the hotseat opposite Chris Tarrant, and the chance to walk away with the top prize of one million pounds. What would you do with a million? Would it really get you those lasernosed sharks Doctor Evil loves? 9.00 Joan Does Glamour See highlights. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Dishing The Dirt New series which takes a critical look at Britain’s 70 billion pound food industry and examines what really goes on behind closed doors in restaurants and takeaways. In this edition they are undercover at two restaurants in a leading sushi chain to find out just how long some of the food is going round and round. Dizzy inspiring. 11.30 In Plain Sight American drama series. Stan becomes the prime suspect when the remains of his first charges are found. 12.25am Red Bull Air Race 1.15 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.10 Loose Women 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Jake protests his innocence to the police, while Nancy frets about Charlie’s safety. Frankie is angry with Nancy for reporting her son to the police. Hardly breaking news. Didn’t expect flowers for it. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 How To Look Good Naked Makeover series. Gok Wan helps horse-loving grandmother Sharon from Derbyshire, who has always felt ugly when compared to others, and only feels comfortable when dressed in scruffy clothing. Ah... bliss. 9.00 The Force Documentary series which follows Hampshire Constabulary police as they attempt to solve major crimes. 10.40 Derren Brown: Trick Of The Mind 2 Derren visits Whitby and baffles the locals with a trick involving a human deck of cards. 11.10 The Real Housewives Of New Jersey Reality series showing the lives of New Jersey housewives. 12.10am 4 Music: Alesha Dixon: Video Exclusive Exclusive first showing of the video for Alesha Dixon’s new single, ‘To Love Again’. 12.15 Full Tilt Poker 1.15 World Superbikes 1.45 FIA GT Championship 2.10 Gillette World Sport 2.35 The McCain Track And Field Show 3.05 Freesports On 4 4.00 Number Crew (x10) 5.40 Making It (x4)
6.00 Home And Away Charlie is confronted by her worst nightmare. Does it have tentacles and poisonous eyebrows? Different kind of nightmare. 6.30 Live From Studio Five 7.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. 8.00 Nature Shock: The Whale That Ate The Great White Documentary series examining freak occurrences in the natural world. This edition explores a remarkable clash between two oceanic predators. 9.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama. When a murder suspect tries to throw the CSIs off his trail by alerting the INS to Eric Delko’s faked birth certificate, Eric is imprisoned. Believing he is Russian, the government tells him he is going to be deported. No! 10.00 CSI: NY Drama series. Stella gets a nasty surprise when a buzzard drops a human eye in her coffee. The CSIs race against time to recover the rest of the body before the birds can feast on the victim’s remains. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. Sara gets emotionally involved while investigating a case of sexual assault with Nick and Grissom. 12.00am The FBI Files 12.55 SuperCasino 3.00 PGA Tour Golf 3.45 FIM Motocross 4.30 Rolex Grand Am 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home & Away
Sky Sports 2
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Archie continues to scheme with Janine. You get the feeling that both of them had school reports that asked them to apply as much time to their studies as they did to their scheming to get good grades. 8.00 Holby City Connie wants to impress the new CEO Vanessa, but a crisis on Darwin threatens her reputation. Did her hair move from the static position it has inhabited for the last ten years? Scandal! 9.00 Around The World In 80 Days See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Marchioness: A Survivor’s Story Documentary. The man who organised the Marchioness boat party in 1989, Jonathan Phang, has always felt responsible for the death of 51 people after the boat was sunk by the dredger Bowbelle. Twenty years on, he reconnects with other survivors of the disaster, to conquer his feelings of guilt. 11.35 Film 2009 With Jonathan Ross Jonathan Ross reviews Terry Gilliam’s latest work of fantasy. 12.05am FILM: Urban Ghost Story (1998) 1.45 Weatherview 1.50 Sign Zone: See Hear 2.20 Criminal Justice 3.20 Masterchef The Professionals (x2) 4.50 BBC News
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Netbusters 9.30 Football League: Championship 11.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.00pm Netbusters 12.30 Football League: Championship 2.00 Trilby Golf Tour 4.00 Formula Kart Stars 4.30 Wild Spirits 5.00 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 5.30 Masters Tennis 7.30 Mountain Bike World 8.00 Masters Tennis 10.00 Poker Million 12.00am Masters Tennis 2.00 Mountain Bike World 2.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am British Carp Angling Championships 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Trilby Golf Tour 10.00 Women’s Pool 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm British Carp Angling Championships 1.00 Sportnation 2.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 2.30 Elite League Speedway 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 Women’s Pool 8.00 Trilby Golf Tour 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Asian Tour Golf 12.00am Trilby Golf Tour 2.00 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 2.30 Asian Tour Golf 3.30 Close
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4.00pm Science Abuse 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Stargate Universe 9.00 Welcome To Stargate Universe 9.30 Fringe 10.40 Justin Lee Collins: The Wrestler 11.40 Road Wars (x2) 1.40 A Town Called Eureka 2.35 Street Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Kids With Machetes: Stacey Dooley Investigates 9.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 How Not To Live Your Life 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Don’t Tell The Bride 12.45am Kids With Machetes: Stacey Dooley Investigates
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Tales From The Green Valley 8.00 Life 9.00 Electric Dreams 10.00 It’s Only A Theory 10.30 Early Doors 11.00 Rab C Nesbitt 11.30 Scotland’s Music With Phil Cunningham 12.30am Electric Dreams 1.30 Podfather 2.30 It’s Only A Theory 3.00 Electric Dreams
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 9.00 Jack Osbourne: Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: You, Me And Dupree (2006) 12.15am FILM: Nick Of Time (1995)
1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.00 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Profiling Val McDermid 10.00 Wire In The Blood 12.00am Reckless 1.05 Agatha Christie’s Poirot
12.40pm Scrubs (x2) 1.40 Friends 2.10 Gilmore Girls 3.05 Veronica Mars 4.00 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 James Brown’s Supermodel Salon 11.00 RuPaul’s Drag Race 12.00am Rick And Steve
4.05pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Relocation, Relocation 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Location, Location, Location 10.00 True Stories: Last Of The Honeybees 11.30 Location, Location, Location 12.35am Last Of The Honeybees
11.00am Blood On The Sun (1945) 12.50pm The Gift Horse (1952) 2.45 A Letter To Three Wives (1949) 4.45 Leave Her To Heaven (1946) 6.55 Barefoot In The Park (1967) 9.00 Mean Machine (2001) 11.00 Import/Export (2007) 1.45am Birthday Girl (2001) 3.45 Close
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wednesday 14 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers BBC1, 7.30pm Simple cooking without the complicated recipes or hard to reach ingredients. Like watching your mum get dinner together when you were a kid, this is a learn by osmosis kind of cookery show with winter warmers on the menu tonight. Made to make you go “Yum!”.
True Blood Channel 4, 10pm The vamps are lookin’ threatening tonight as Bill saves the telepathically enhanced Sookie from Mack and Denise Rattray – and then they turn up dead. A bit of an overreach as a protective beau is the conclusion the townsfolk’s minds are leaping to. Just gotta love that LaFayette. Had to say it.
Gossip Girl ITV2, 8pm Duplicity is the key, keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. Except Blair doesn’t want Georgina quite that close when she turns up as the new roommate at NYU. Will she spill all? Meanwhile Serena and Chuck have a bit of a barney and Serena turns to Carter Baizen to help her get even. Live and let live? Never.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 What’s New Scooby Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Keep Your Enemies Close 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Chidlren’s Television 8.00 Dani’s House 8.30 Tommy Zoom 8.40 Big Barn Farm 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.10 Charlie And Lola 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Pingu 11.05 The Flintstones 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.30 Open House 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 Sali Mali 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Battlefront 10.00 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.30 KNTV – Philosophy 11.00 Lifeproof TV 11.30 The Family: Teen Stories 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Glamour Puds 1.05 What’s In A Word? 1.20 FILM: The Comancheros (1961) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Hyundai A League 7.00 Live Masters Tennis 3.00pm Football Asia 3.30 Under 21s International Football 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.30 Total Rugby 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 10.55 International Football (x2) 3.00 Poker Million 4.00 International Football 5.00 Total Rugby 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers See highlights. 8.00 Inspector George Gently Crime drama. When a body is found in a local mill, Gently and Bacchus go on to uncover a web of local corruption, blackmail, fraud and robbery. No spiders though. Curious. 9.30 Traffic Cops Documentary series following the traffic police. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws The midweek National Lottery draws, featuring a performance from Jordin Sparks. Who she? 10.45 Seve Ballesteros And His Fight For Life Peter Alliss visits golf legend Seve Ballesteros at his home in Spain. The Spaniard’s career, which includes five major wins, is well documented but here the man behind the golfing superstar is revealed in an intimate interview in which he talks about his battle with the brain tumour that was diagnosed last year. 11.30 FILM: Blow Dry (2001) Starring Alan Rickman, Josh Hartnett. Hairdressing comedy drama. 12.55am Weatherview 1.00 Sign Zone: Criminal Justice 2.00 Antiques Roadshow 3.00 Country Tracks 3.55 Masterchef The Professionals 4.40 BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia takes a peek into the training rooms to find out how the couples are shaping up. 7.00 Railway Walks Julia Bradbury takes a series of walks following the old tracks, overgrown cuttings and ancient viaducts. Anyone else want to wave bloomers in a fit of Railway Children nostalgia? Hmm. 7.30 Heir Hunters Following the work of probate detectives, who track down missing family members of people who have died without a will. More likely than a Lottery win. 8.15 Masterchef The Professionals The two winners from the third quarter-final battle it out. 9.00 Prescott: The North South Divide John and Pauline Prescott lead a double life, spending almost as much time down south as at home in Hull. It has given them a revealing insight into the North and South divide. Here they are. Ta da! 10.00 Mock The Week Comedy show taking swpies at the news. 10.30 Newsnight Slightly different news coverage from the above. 11.20 How A Choir Works Choirmaster Gareth Malone joins forces with the BBC Singers to explore the styles and techniques that create a choir. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 Class Clips 5.00 Race
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Laurel tries to get Sally and Vincent to talk. Debbie is ecstatic about Charity’s decision to stay in Emmerdale. Tension boils over between Nikhil and Jai about the factory ownership. Better not be a kettle factory. Boom! Boom! 7.30 World Cup Qualifier: England V Belarus England booked their place in South Africa with a crushing 5-1 defeat of Croatia at Wembley last month, so their final qualifier against Belarus gives Fabio Capello and his players the chance to relax and put on a show for the fans. 10.10 The Late News; Weather 10.45 World Cup Qualifier Highlights Action from England’s final World Cup qualifier, as Fabio Capello gets to try out options ahead of next summer’s World Cup. Belarus will provide testing opposition at Wembley as England look to enjoy a competitive match, free from the pressures of qualification. Presented from Wembley by Steve Rider, with commentary by Clive Tyldesley and Andy Townsend. 11.45 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 12.40am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.35 Loose Women 2.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.20 Why Did My Son Die?: Tonight 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks On the first anniversary of Tina’s death, Mercedes wants to forget about it all but Michaela convinces her to join the rest of the family at the memorial. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Ruth Watson’s Hotel Rescue Hotelier and food writer Ruth Watson attempts to assist couples starting out in hotel ownership. Ruth helps out Rod and Shaun Smallwood, who have ambitious plans for the zerostarred Kenbarry Hotel in Blackpool. Zero-stars? The only way is up, baby! 9.00 The Secret Millionaire Series in which a millionaire goes undercover in a deprived area in the hope of changing someone’s life with a generous gift of their own hardearned money. Charlie Mullins, head of a multi-million pound plumbing empire, lives a secret life for eight days on a Warrington estate. 10.00 True Blood See highlights. 11.15 Generation Kill Drama series set in the Iraq War. Bravo company are ordered to treat any Iraqi holding a weapon as a hostile. What is a weapon? Discuss. 12.40am 4 Music: Rimmel London Presents The World’s Greatest Pop Star: Madonna 1.40 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 3.30 F2.8 3.50 Invasion 4.30 Reaper 5.15 One-Eyed Jacques 5.20 Countdown
6.00 – 8.00am See highlights. 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Breaking Into Tesco 12.40pm Five News 12.50 How To Be A Property Developer 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 FILM: Jane Doe: Vanishing Act (2005) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away A wedge is driven between Ruby and Charlie. Another one? 6.30 Live From Studio Five 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the amazing work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. 8.00 Secrets Of Egypt: Sphinx Historical documentary series probing the secrets of Ancient Egypt. This instalment examines some intriguing new theories as to how, when and why the Great Sphinx of Giza was built. Last Tuesday by our Gary. No? 9.00 Farmer Wants A Wife Gordon, a 58-year-old fruit and veg farmer from West Sussex, is looking for love. The disorganised singleton spends time with bossy Jean and laid-back Val, but his funny foibles start to test the ladies’ patience. Can they see beyond Gordon’s quirks and love him for who he is? Many splendoured thing and all that. 10.00 FILM: Above The Law (1988) Starring Steven Seagal, Pam Grier, Henry Silva and Sharon Stone. Action-packed thriller in which a tough unorthodox cop risks his life attempting to smash a deadly drug cartel. Bless him. 12.00am PartyPoker.com 1.30 SuperCasino 3.00 2009 Summer X Games 3.55 Golf - European Challenge Tour 4.20 IndyCar 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Hyundai A League 9.30 International Football 11.00 Mountain Bike World 11.30 Football Asia 12.00pm Hyundai A League 12.30 International Football 2.00 Trilby Golf Tour 4.00 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 4.30 Masters Tennis 6.30 LIVE: International Football 9.00 Masters Tennis 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Masters Tennis 2.00 Kartmasters Grand Prix 3.00 DTM Motor Racing 4.00 Formula 3 Euroseries 5.00 Rallyzone 5.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Pool: World Pool Masters 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Trilby Golf Tour 10.00 Women’s Pool 11.00 Hyundai A League 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Asian Tour Golf 2.00 Poker Million 4.00 WWE The Bottom Line 5.00 WWE Afterburn 6.00 Kartmasters Grand Prix 7.00 Women’s Pool 8.00 Netball 10.00 DTM Motor Racing 11.00 Formula 3 Euroseries 12.00am Golf 1.00 Netball 3.00 European Tour Weekly 4.30 Close
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3.00pm Cold Case 4.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 My Big Fat Cycle Challenge 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Project Runway 9.00 House 10.00 Guinness World Records Top 100 11.30 Law And Order 12.30am UK Border Force
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 FILM: What Women Want (2000) 11.00 How Not To Live Your Life 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.20am Lunch Monkeys 12.50 Don’t Tell The Bride 1.50 Clever V Stupid 2.20 How Not To Live Your Life 2.50 Lunch Monkeys
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 A Poet’s Guide To Britain 8.00 Machine Men 9.00 Visions Of The Future 10.00 Flight Of The Conchords 10.30 It’s Only A Theory 11.00 Wallander 12.35am Machine Men 1.35 Visions Of The Future 2.35 It’s Only A Theory 3.05 A Poet’s Guide To Britain 5.30 Close
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 7.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Gossip Girl. See highlights. 9.00 Trinity 10.00 FILM: The Matrix Reloaded (2003) 12.40am Hell’s Kitchen USA 1.40 Emmerdale
12.55pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.00 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 7.55 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Life 11.00 FILM: The Graduate (1967) 1.10am Cane 1.55 The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes
12.40pm Scrubs (x2) 1.35 Friends 2.05 Gilmore Girls 3.05 Veronica Mars 4.00 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: East Is East (1999) 10.55 School Of Comedy 11.30 Fonejacker 12.00am Scrubs (x2)
4.05pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Relocation, Relocation 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Bremner, Bird And Fortune 10.00 Last Party At The Palace 11.00 Saving Grace 12.05am Bremner, Bird And Fortune 1.10 Last Party At The Palace
11.00am Freedom Radio (1941) 12.50pm Millions Like Us (1943) 2.55 Death Drums Along The River (1963) 4.35 Brief Encounter (1945) 6.20 The Bridges Of Madison County (1995) 9.00 Million Dollar Baby (2004) 11.35 Frailty (2000) 1.35am Prick Up Your Ears (1987) 3.50 Close
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thursday 15 Location, Location, Location Channel 4, 8pm It’s a revisit show, but this one was a doozey with Lara and Roger from Yorkshire wanting to get the most for their Lotterywinning buck. Remember them? He was nervous - she had a handbag habit? The other couple Pip and Kirst are catching up with are Sophie and Ben, moving to Guildford before baby arrives.
Never Mind the Buzzcocks BBC2, 9.30pm Like reading the NME under the covers as a kid, Buzzcocks lets us in to a world of cutting edge music and comedy. Past panelists in identity parades and comics cutting their teeth - Buzzcocks rocks. Guests this week are Blur’s Alex James, Peter Serafinowicz, comic Holly Walsh and singer Jessica Origliasso.
Electric Dreams BBC4, 8pm The ‘90s doesn’t seem too far away, in terms of lifestyle. The Sullivan family discover the little absences in their IT canon as they move on from their ‘70s and ‘80s technological lives and into the ‘90s. Want a mobile? Have a pager! Really want a mobile? Have a brick! Makes you realise how fast hi-tech moves.
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BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 What’s New Scooby Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Raven 4.35 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.10 Charlie And Lola 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary History 11.20 Science Clips 11.30 Class Clips 11.50 Difference And Discrimination 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Animal Park 2.30 Open House 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman returns with all the backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action. 7.00 Who Do You Think You Are? Series in which celebrities trace their ancestry. Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen investigates a family legend that his ancestors were wealthy squires whose lands were nefariously stolen. 8.00 Masterchef The Professionals The two winners from the first quarter-final must cook at The Greenhouse in London’s Mayfair and create two perfect dishes in the Masterchef kitchen. 8.45 Masterchef The Professionals It is now the culmination of the semifinals. Ooh! The tension’s enough to drop your souffleé. 9.30 Never Mind The Buzzcocks See highlights. 10.00 Home Time While Gaynor summons up the courage to run off again, Kelly is the first to turn 30. Rather than leave her pal in her time of need, Gaynor mucks in with a budget luxury spa day and night out. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Prescott: The North South Divide Repeat of Wednesday’s show. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 Industry And Industrial Change 4.40 Intermediate/Higher History 5.20 Intermediate English: Poetry
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.05am The Treacle People 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Battlefront 10.00 The Deadly Knowledge Show 10.30 KNTV – Philosophy 11.00 Lifeproof TV 11.30 The Family: Teen Stories 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Glamour Puds 1.05 My Eden 1.10 Back To You 1.40 FILM: High Anxiety (1977) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sasha hides Calvin’s money from Mercedes, but Sheila gets the blame. It’s Calvin’s money! Not Mercedes! Blinkin’ ‘eck. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Location, Location, Location See highlights. 9.00 The Red Lion Documentary. As the recession forces seven pubs a day to shut their doors for good, award-winning film-maker Sue Bourne journeys 3,000 miles to visit some of the country’s 600 Red Lions. Collecting tales that are by turns touching, funny, sad, gentle and quirky, Bourne creates a timely snapshot of British drinking habits. 10.00 Without A Trace Police drama series. The team investigates whether an ex-convict’s past criminal activity led to her disappearance after visiting a prison inmate. 10.55 Without A Trace American drama series. A college student – and former child prodigy – receives a death threat and subsequently disappears while working as a department store Santa. Interesting career choice. 11.55 Arctic Monkeys: Video Exclusive 12.00am Teachers 1.00 The Force 2.30 FILM: The Lonely Passion Of Judith Hearne (1987) 4.30 Reaper 5.15 Countdown
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Breaking Into Tesco 12.40pm Five News 12.50 How To Be A Property Developer 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 FILM: Murder Among Friends (2001) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Ocean Adventures 7.00 LIVE Masters Tennis 3.00pm ATP Tour Uncovered 3.30 Total Rugby 4.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Portugal Masters 6.00 Hyundai A League 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 LIVE: Sky Sports Victory Shield Football 9.30 Golf Night 11.30 Time Of Our Lives 12.30am Sky Sports Victory Shield Football 2.30 Time Of Our Lives 3.30 Barclays Premier League World 4.00 Race World 5.00 Barclays Premier League World 5.30 F1 Powerboats
6.00 Home And Away Aden takes a massive step forward. Big feet. 6.30 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Inferno 999 Doc following the lives of officers from the Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service. 8.00 Megastructures: Built From Disaster This instalment examines how a series of catastrophic events involving skyscrapers highlighted a number of threats to the buildings’ integrity. Architects have been forced to incorporate new safety features into their designs for the superstructures of the future. 9.00 Vice Squad Series following the work of the Metropolitan Police Vice Unit. The vice squad investigates a number of illegal brothels in the capital. Not that they found any legal ones. Got to go abroad for them. 10.00 FILM: Black Hawk Down (2001) Starring Josh Hartnett, Ewan McGregor, Tom Sizemore, Jason Isaacs and Eric Bana. Gritty war drama based on the true story of a botched US Army mission in Somalia during the early 1990s. US Army Rangers parachute into Mogadishu in an attempt to capture a warlord’s two top lieutenants, but the operation goes disastrously wrong. 12.45am SuperCasino 4.00 NFL Replay 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Sam moves in with Ricky, much to Bianca’s displeasure. Gotta be the understatement of the Square. Rick-kay! 8.00 Watchdog Anne Robinson, Matt Allwright and Anita Rani take on the big names and businesses that are letting viewers down, with investigations and topical reports. 9.00 New Tricks Drama series. Gerry meets his heroes, the 70s rock band Bad Faith, when the team investigate the death of its lead guitarist. It is over 30 years since the group split up however, and the ageing rockers do not quite live up to the legends Gerry remembers. Do they sing the theme tune? 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time David Dimbleby chairs the popular debate show from Hull, where the panel includes the Home Secretary, Alan Johnson. 11.35 This Week A political review of the week presented by Andrew Neil and his resident helpers Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott. 12.20am Holiday Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Design For Life 1.55 Criminal Justice 2.55 Countryfile 3.50 Masterchef The Professionals 4.35 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale An irate Vincent discovers that Sally is staying with Ashley and Laurel. Why I oughtta... 7.30 Countrywise Paul Heiney explores Britain. 8.00 Emmerdale Katie tells Ryan all about her past relationships. In America they’d call that a flashback. 8.30 Coronation Street Is Maria shutting Tony out? Will Lloyd take Teresa back? What exactly are Luke’s motives in buttering-up Rosie? Will we ever get answers? 9.00 The Bill The team discover that Mark Wilson is forcing his brother Shaun’s girlfriend, Ria, to smuggle a phone into the prison where Shaun is doing time for drug offences. One of the prison officers, Josie Hibbert, is a friend of Leon’s. Can they bug the phone and persuade her to take it in? They have ways and means. Both! 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories Piers Morgan returns for a second series of his acclaimed biographical talk show where each week, he interviews an iconic celebrity figure. 11.35 The Last Word All the big stories in the region with MPs and other prominent figures. 12.05am Surface 12.50 Motorsport UK 1.40 The Cosby Mysteries 2.35 Loose Women 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 International Football 11.00 European Tour Weekly 11.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.30pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 International Football (x2) 5.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 5.30 Masters Tennis 7.30 LIVE: European Rugby: Challenge Cup 10.00 Masters Tennis 12.00am ATP Tour Uncovered 12.30 NFL - Total Access 1.30 European Rugby: Challenge Cup 4.00 UIM F1 Powerboating 4.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 5.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Formula 3 Euroseries 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Netball 10.00 Women’s Pool 11.00 Total Rugby 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Rallyzone 12.30 International Football 2.00 European Tour Golf 4.00 Rallyzone 4.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 6.30 Women’s Pool 7.30 LIVE: Premier League Snooker 11.00 WWE Late Night Raw 1.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 2.00 Golf Night 4.00 Close
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2.00pm Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Bones 10.00 Lie To Me 11.00 Modern Family 11.30 Football’s A Funny Old Game 12.00am Bones
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Off The Hook 8.30 Underage And Pregnant 9.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Lunch Monkeys 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 The World’s Strictest Parents 12.50am Lunch Monkeys 1.20 Underage And Pregnant
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 A Poet’s Guide To Britain 8.00 Electric Dreams 9.00 Bulgaria’s Abandoned Children Revisited 10.00 Margaret Thatcher: The Long Walk To Finchley 11.25 Podfather 12.25am Bulgaria’s Abandoned Children Revisited 1.25 Margaret Thatcher: The Long Walk To Finchley
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Primeval 8.00 Paris Hilton’s American Best Friend Forever 9.00 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 10.00 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show 10.30 Coronation Street 11.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 11.30 FILM: The Dukes Of Hazzard (2005)
12.55pm Heartbeat 1.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.00 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 8.00 Live The Dream... As Seen On Screen 9.00 Moll Flanders 10.00 Trial And Retribution 12.15am Profiling Val McDermid 1.15 Numb3rs
3.05pm Veronica Mars 4.00 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 School Of Comedy 10.35 The Inbetweeners 11.05 Important Things With Demetri Martin 11.35 Peep Show 12.05am Reno 911
4.05pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Relocation, Relocation 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies 10.00 Hung 10.55 Curb Your Enthusiasm 11.30 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 12.30am Embarrassing Bodies
11.00am The House Of Mirth (2000) 1.45pm The Strange Affair Of Uncle Harry (1945) 3.20 The House On Telegraph Hill (1951) 5.10 White Feather (1955) 7.10 Big Momma’s House (2000) 9.00 Kiss The Girls (1997) 11.15 Boys Don’t Cry (1999) 1.30am My Cousin Vinny (1992) 3.50 Close
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friday 16 The Armstrong and Miller Show BBC1, 9.30pm The boys are back in town, with a brand now sketch comedy series. Mixing up old favourites – RAF pilots (see left) – with a few newbies, including disastrous arts TV presenter Dennis LincolnPark. It’s good to see that Ben Miller’s acting career hasn’t eclipsed his comedy. Yay!
Peep Show Channel 4, 10pm The sitcom that makes you squirm continues with one last hurrah of a party before the baby arrives. Mark sees it as a chance to maybe get back on Dobby’s wooing side, whereas Jezza just wants to make his part-time lovely Elena insanely jealous. Hasn’t thought this one through really, has he? Never does.
Friends E4, 8pm & 8.30pm It’s your pals, it’s your safety blanket , it’s your hair styling guide – and it’s very easy to just sit back and take this longrunning series for granted. Don’t. Catch up with Ross, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Joey to kick off your weekend with assured laughter. How you doing?
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 What’s New Scooby Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Keep Your Enemies Close 4.35 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.40am Children’s television 8.40 Big Barn Farm 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.10 Charlie And Lola 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Just So Darwin 11.15 KS1 Science Clips 11.25 Something Special 11.40 China Stories 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 Gymnastics: World Championships 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia breaks into rehearsals and the Friday panel looks forward to the weekend. 7.00 Gymnastics: World Championships Gabby Logan hosts live coverage of the 2009 World Gymnastics Championships at London’s O2 Arena, where the women’s all round final is taking place. That’ll make yer back ache. 8.30 Gardeners’ World Despite a glorious autumn it is now too cold for some of the tender plants in the garden to stay outdoors, so Toby Buckland explains which plants need wrapping up. Presents! 9.00 Autumnwatch UK wildlife series. Chris and Kate are at a wildlife hospital helping to rescue and care for sick and injured animals. 10.00 Autumnwatch Unsprung Hosted by Martin Hughes-Games, Autumnwatch Unsprung promises more lively discussion and debate. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.00 Newsnight Review Round table arts and culture discussion programme, with Martha Kearney. 11.35 Later... With Jools Holland Extended repeat of Tuesday’s show. 12.40am Medium (x2) 2.05 FILM: The Damned (1963)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 Sali Mali 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Battlefront 10.00 KNTV: Philosophy 10.30 KNTV: Philosophy 11.00 Lifeproof TV 11.30 The Family: Teen Stories 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Glamour Puds 1.05 What’s In A Word? 1.15 Back To You 1.45 FILM: Texas Lady (1955) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Sheila, having slept with Elliot, creeps away guilty in her Wookie costume. That’ll be a sight – Walk of shame Wookie. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.35 Unreported World The foreign affairs series reveals how the west African country of Liberia is facing a child rape crisis. Six years after a brutal civil war in which rape was routinely used as a weapon, children are still at risk of being attacked. 8.00 Jamie’s American Road Trip Jamie visits Los Angeles and sees a different side of the city when he meets the Mexican community, including an ex-gang member who has turned his life around to become a successful chef. 9.00 Rude Tube Alex Zane showcases the weirdest and funniest videos on the internet. 10.00 Peep Show See highlights. 10.35 The IT Crowd Sitcom set in an IT department. When Jen loses concentration during a board meeting due to a faulty bra, Moss overcomes his fear of ladies’ underwear and plots a way out of Reynholm Industries by inventing a flawless bra. 11.10 True Blood Repeat. 12.25am 4 Music: Bloc Party: Live And Intimate 12.55 Friends (x2) 1.45 FILM: Khuda Kay Liye (2007) 4.35 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 5.25 Countdown
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Breaking Into Tesco 12.40pm Five News 12.50 How To Be A Property Developer 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 FILM: Journey Of The Heart (1997) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 7.00 LIVE Masters Tennis 3.00pm Barclays Premier League World 3.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Portugal Masters 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE European Rugby 10.00 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.00am European Rugby 2.30 Friday Fight Night 4.30 Football League Weekend 5.30 Barclays Premier League Preview
6.00 Home And Away Charlie decides that Grant must pay for what he has done. Sounds a touch dodge. 6.30 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. 8.00 Brighton Beach Patrol Documentary series. The arrival of the circus gives Brighton a taste of the bizarre, as coppers Gill and Dave are on the case of a couple of clowns spotted stealing shoes, a pair of trapeze artists are warned that their act is too dangerous and shop assistant Sabrina shows how she earns a bit of extra cash. 9.00 NCIS Drama series. The team investigates when a picture taken by a blind photographer reveals that a young pretty officer has been murdered. In focus? 10.00 FlashForward Repeat of Monday’s show. 11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series. Benson and Stabler enlist Huang’s help in probing the connection between the deaths of two high-school students and an illegal marketing campaign by a major pharmaceutical company. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 The FBI Files 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 European Rugby: Challenge Cup 11.30 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.30pm Barclays Premier League World 2.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.30 Trans World Sport 3.30 UIM F1 Powerboating 4.00 Kiteboarding 4.30 NFL: Total Access 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Ocean Adventures 6.30 Gillette World Sport 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Masters Tennis 10.00 Football League Weekend 11.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.30 NFL: Total Access 12.30am Masters Tennis 2.30 Motor Sport 3.30 NFL: Total Access 4.30 Tight Lines 5.30 Gillette World Sport
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 8.00 EastEnders Sam tells Jack she cannot accept his offer of a job but she ends up accepting a passionate kiss instead. Oo-er missus! 8.30 A Question Of Sport Sports quiz hosted by Sue Barker. Captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell are joined by Burnley manager Owen Coyle, champion cyclist Victoria Pendleton, Lions scrum-half Dwayne Peel and former England football star John Barnes. Get him to rap. 9.00 Have I Got News For You The popular news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop. 9.30 The Armstrong And Miller Show See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Jonathan Ross is joined by Alesha Dixon, Hollywood A-lister Vince Vaughn; and the dour Jack Dee. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw Kelle Bryan presents the EuroMillions results. 11.40 FILM: Deadly Pursuit (1988) Starring Sidney Poitier, Tom Berenger, Kirstie Alley. Action-packed thriller. 1.25am Weatherview 1.30 Sign Zone: Emma 2.30 Home Time 3.00 MasterChef The Professionals 3.45 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 4.30 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale The Bishop questions Ashley’s interference in Sally’s marriage. Where did this Bishop come from? Emmerdale’s come over all Father Ted suddenly. 7.30 Coronation Street Tony has a question for Maria, and Luke makes Rosie an offer she cannot refuse. 8.00 Thrifty Ways For Modern Days: Tonight Martin Lewis competes with Britain’s thriftiest grannies to see if wartime austerity tips can beat his cash saving tricks to help an ordinary family save money. Take the smug smile off of him. 8.30 Coronation Street Maria has a shocking announcement for Helen and Barry. Uh. Oh. 9.00 Benidorm Mel decides he is going to buy local tourist spot Peacock Island and tries to find the mysterious Spanish owner. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Last Samurai (2003) Starring Tom Cruise, Ken Watanabe, Timothy Spall, Billy Connolly and Tony Goldwyn. Historical action drama. American Civil War veteran Nathan Algren is hired by the Emperor of Japan to train an army capable of quashing a rebellion by the last of the Samurai. 1.15am FILM: The First $20 Million Is Always The Hardest (2002) 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
Sky Sports 2
Sky Sports 3 7.00am WWE: Raw 9.00 IAAF Athletix Weekly 9.30 UIM F1 Powerboating 10.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 10.30 Women’s Pool 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Race World 2.00 European Tour Golf 4.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 4.30 IAAF Athletix Weekly 5.00 WWE: Raw 7.00 Motor Sport 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Golf Night 3.00 Ocean Adventures 3.30 Gillette World Sport 4.00 Masters Tennis
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2.00pm Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Grease: The School Musical 9.00 FILM: Trading Places (1983) 11.15 UK Border Force 12.15am Road Wars 1.15 Road Wars Half Hours
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Merlin 8.45 Merlin: Secrets And Magic 9.00 Doctor Who Greatest Moments: The Doctor 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.20am Lunch Monkeys 12.50 How Not To Live Your Life 1.20 Harper’s Island Unsolved 1.50 Harper’s Island
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Leeds International Piano Competition 2009 8.30 Transatlantic Sessions 9.00 Synth Britannia 10.30 Synth Britannia At The BBC 11.30 Spiral II 12.20am Synth Britannia 1.50 Cambridge Folk Festival 2.20 Transatlantic Sessions 2.50 Leeds International Piano Competition 2009
12.00pm Coronation Street 12.30 Emmerdale (x2) 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show 4.30 Judge Judy (x3) 6.00 The X Factor (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Matrix Revolutions (2003) 11.35 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 12.35am Coronation Street (x2) 1.35 Emmerdale 2.00 Ladette To Lady 2.50 Teleshopping
3.00pm Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Life 10.00 FILM: Staying Alive (1983) 12.00am Flashpoint 12.55 Wycliffe 1.50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.40 Surgical Spirit 3.05 The Wonder Years 3.30 Drama Trails
5.00pm Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs 6.35 Scrubs 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.35 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends. See highlights. 8.30 Friends 9.00 Supernanny 10.00 Wife Swap USA 11.00 FILM: East Is East (1999) 12.55am Scrubs 1.30 Scrubs 1.55 How I Met Your Mother 2.15 Supernanny
4.05pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Relocation, Relocation 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: Hide And Seek (2005) 11.00 My Boyfriend, The Sex Tourist 12.00am FILM: Hide And Seek (2005) 2.00 My Boyfriend, The Sex Tourist
11.00am The Gentle Sex (1943) 12.50pm The Bitter Tea Of General Yen (1933) 2.35 Good Morning, Miss Dove (1955) 4.45 The Ghost And Mrs Muir (1947) 6.45 The Poseidon Adventure (1972) 9.00 Date Movie (2006) 10.35 Oldboy (2003) 12.55am The Dreamers (2002)
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saturday 17 The X Factor ITV1, 8pm The bookies reckon Jamie Afro could do alright, but it’s anybody’s game for that recording contract and tears and snotfest of a winning title. One went last week – did you expect it to be them? Are you sure? And this week another will be sent off to the ‘naughty step’ of Z-list opening of envelopes. Get voting.
Film: Saw Channel 4, 11.20pm Get in the mood for this month’s Halloween with the low budget original that spawned a series of horrors for the cinema. Cary Elwes and Leigh Whannell wake up chained to a room with no idea how they got there. Gradually clues are discovered as to who did this to them and what they have to do to get free.
Film: Time Bandits Film4, 6.45pm To get you in the mood for Terry Gilliam’s latest offering currently at the cinemas, take a trip back to 1981 – at least as a starting point – and get to meet “little people hitting each other”. At least that’s how Napoleon describes them. Six little people and one boy called Kevin out to time travel and do some robbing.
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6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 The Hairy Bakers 12.00pm BBC News 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Gymnastics: World Championships 4.30 Final Score 5.10 BBC News 5.15 South East Today 5.20 Formula 1: The Brazilian Grand Prix
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Bits And Bobs 7.00 Dennis & Gnasher 7.15 Dennis & Gnasher 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 8.00 Gimme A Break 8.30 TMi 10.00 My Almost Famous Family 10.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.25 Diddy Dick And Dom 11.30 Animals At Work 12.00pm The Cut 12.25 The Cut 12.50 Off The Hook 1.20 Chartjackers 1.25 The Well 1.35 Kyle XY 2.20 FILM: Waterloo (1970) 4.30 Gymnastics: World Championships 5.00 Emma 6.00 Autumnwatch UK wildlife series. Chris and Kate are at a wildlife hospital helping out. 7.00 Autumnwatch Unsprung 7.30 Life David Attenborough narrates a wildlife series. In nature, living long enough to breed is a monumental struggle, and many animals and plants go to extremes to give themselves a chance. This is gonna look cool, just you see. 8.30 Gandhi In the final episode, Mishal Husain explores the dramatic last years of Gandhi’s life which culminated in his death by an assassin’s bullet. She gets to the bottom of an enduring mystery - why is Gandhi revered as Father of the Nation, when India turned its back on Gandhi’s blueprint for the country? 9.30 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Extended version of the popular news quiz. 10.10 FILM: Muriel’s Wedding (1994) Starring Toni Collette, Bill Hunter, Rachel Griffiths. Cult romantic comedy about a frumpy girl who equates marriage with success and is willing to any lengths necessary fulfil her dream. You’re terrible, Muriel. 11.50 FILM: Miracle (2004) Starring Kurt Russell, Patricia Clarkson. Factual drama based on the exploits of the American ice hockey team in the 1980 Winter Olympics. 2.00am FILM: Cockles And Muscles (2005) 3.30 Inside F1
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Horrid Henry 9.40 Scratch ‘n’ Sniff’s Den Of Doom 10.10 Art Attack 10.35 FILM: When In Rome (2002) 12.15pm ITV News And Weather 12.20 FILM: Agatha Christie’s Sparkling Cyanide (1983) 2.10 Torvill And Dean’s Dancing On Ice: The Bolero Tour Live 3.10 FILM: The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) 5.30 Meridian News And Weather 5.45 ITV News And Weather
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 FIA GT3 Championship 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.25 Rimmel London Presents The World’s Greatest Pop Star: Madonna 10.30 Friends 10.55 Hollyoaks Music Show 11.30 P. Diddy’s Starmaker 12.25pm Scrubs 12.55 Red Bull Rivals 1.45 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Come Dine With Me 4.30 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.00 Football League Weekend 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Special 12.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.15 LIVE Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x5) 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
6.00 Animals Do The Funniest Things Stephen Mulhern meets the rescued animals who are living a new life at a wildlife park in Tenerife, and presents more funny home videos and news stories from across the globe. 7.00 New You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill presents more hilarious footage recorded on viewers’ camcorders and phones. 7.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Quickfire comic Harry Hill skewers more of the funniest, quirkiest and silliest clips from the week’s TV output, including the usual mix of top reality shows, soaps and dramas, along with some genuine oddities. 8.00 The X Factor See highlights. 10.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Boris Becker Piers Morgan’s biographical chat show continues with a revealing profile of tennis legend Boris Becker. In an intimate studio interview, Boris will talk about winning Wimbledon at the age of 17, and his colourful life away from the tennis courts. Mention party cupboards – dare you. 11.00 ITV News; Weather 11.15 FILM: Crossroads (2002) Starring Britney Spears, Zoe Saldana, Taryn Manning. The story of three childhood best friends who take a road trip from Georgia to California. 1.15am FILM: Cadillac Man (1990) 2.55 Crossing Jordan 3.40 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 Come Dine With Me Cookerybased reality show. In the final showdown, lady-of-leisure Jennifer Crosbie has to win over her guests who are a little worse for wear after a cocktail party the night before. Will her risotto, monkfish and evening of party games be enough? 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Kevin McCloud’s Grand Tour Of Europe Kevin looks at how Christopher Wren was inspired to build St Paul’s after the Great Fire of London. He visits Florence to examine the secrets of the Cathedral Di Santa Maria Del Fiore, and on to Rome and the Vatican for Palm Sunday mass. Bet he won’t get a seat. 8.00 Building Of The Year: The RIBA Stirling Prize 2009 Live Kevin McCloud announces the winner of the 2009 RIBA Stirling Prize, live from Old Billingsgate in London. The £20,000 prize is awarded to the architects of the building that has made the greatest contribution to architecture in the past year. 9.00 FILM: The X Files (1998) Starring David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson. Movie version of the hit sci-fi series. 11.20 FILM: Saw (2004) See highlights. 1.20am 4 Music: Live From Abbey Road 2.15 FILM: No Escape (1993) 4.15 St Elsewhere 5.05 Reaper 5.50 Countdown
6.00 – 7.55am Children’s television 7.55 Noddy In Toyland 8.05 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 8.40 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.55 Olivia 9.10 Little Princess 9.25 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 NFLUK 11.00 Rough Guide To Short Breaks 11.20 The Gadget Show 12.20pm Nature Shock: The Whale That Ate The Great White 1.20 FILM: Ten Wanted Men (1954) 2.55 FILM: French Kiss (1995) 5.00 FILM: You’ve Got Mail (1998) 7.10 Five News 7.15 NCIS Drama series about the US Navy’s dedicated federal agency. A naval dentist is murdered after stopping to help a motorist in need of assistance. Them darn molars! 8.05 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. When a young woman dressed from headto-toe in blue is found dead in the subway after a rave party, Mac is summoned from a night at the opera to process the scene. Classy. 9.00 CSI: NY Drama series. When a paintball player is found shot dead, Flack realises that a dirty cop under his supervision could be to blame. Maybe all he needs is a good bath. Clean up that dirty cop no end. 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series about a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. The CSIs investigate the murder of a 16-year-old girl at a motel. Nick recognises the victim as someone he knew, and recalls each of their encounters over the past year in a series of flashbacks. 11.00 Law And Order: SVU Drama series about an elite force based in New York. Two men are charged with rape and murder after the disappearance of a Canadian student. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.05 Great Artists (x2) 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
7.15 Strictly Come Dancing The remaining 12 couples battle it out as they take to the floor with a jive or a Viennese waltz. By the end of the show, one more couple will be leaving the competition for good. While the celebrities nervously wait for the result, the professional dancers bring a taste of carnival to Strictly with a sizzling samba, and there is a show-stopping number to celebrate the 80th anniversary of MGM Musicals. Will there be candles involved? Not with that many manmade fibres! 9.25 The National Lottery Draws Cross your fingers and think of the speech you’ll make to your boss on Monday if this pans out. 9.35 BBC News 9.50 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow Michael McIntyre visits some of the UK’s most prestigious and iconic stand-up comedy venues, unearthing a raft of comedy’s brightest new talent and finest comedians en route. 10.20 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from the Premier League. 11.45 The Football League Show Highlights from the day’s Football League games. 1.00am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.00 Weatherview 2.05 BBC News 5.45 MotoGP 2009: Round 15 – Phillip Island
Sky Sports 2 6.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 6.30 Kiteboarding 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 LIVE Rugby Union 9.30 LIVE Masters Tennis 11.30 Kiteboarding 12.00pm Max Power 1.00 LIVE European Rugby (x3) 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 LIVE: Spanish Football 11.00 International Rugby League 12.30am LIVE NASCAR 4.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.00 Max Power
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Tight Lines 7.00 Friday Fight Night 9.00 NFL – America’s Game 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 LIVE Masters Tennis 3.00 Gillette World Sport 3.30 Kiteboarding 4.00 WWE Smackdown 6.00 LIVE: International Rugby League 8.30 Masters Tennis 10.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.30 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.30am Spanish Football 3.00 Golf Night 5.00 Ocean Adventures 5.30 Ocean Adventures
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3.00pm Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Grease: The School Musical 6.00 Modern Family 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 UK Border Force 10.00 Road Wars 11.00 UK Border Force 12.00am Night Cops 1.00 Antony Gormley’s One And Other Highlights
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 The Real Hustle On Holiday (x2) 9.00 Lunch Monkeys (x6) 12.00am Family Guy (x2) 12.45 Jack Dee Live At The Apollo 1.30 Harper’s Island 2.10 Lunch Monkeys (x6) 5.30 Close
7.30pm Britain’s Best Drives 8.00 Caravans: A British Love Affair 9.00 100 Years Of Girl Guides 10.00 Voices From The Doll’s House 10.10 Ian Hislop’s Scouting For Boys 11.10 Youth Hostelling: The First 100 Years 12.10am Sunday Schools: Reading, Writing And Redemption 1.10 Podfather
3.40pm Gossip Girl 4.40 Paris Hilton’s American Best Friend Forever 5.35 Planet’s Funniest Animals 6.00 FILM: Two Weeks Notice (2002) 8.00 Britain’s Biggest Babies 9.00 New Homes From Hell 2009 10.00 The Xtra Factor 11.00 Jack Osbourne: Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie 12.00am Harry Hill’s TV Burp
11.40am Cadfael 1.20pm Kavanagh QC 3.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.05 FILM: Murder, She Wrote: The Last Free Man (2001) 5.55 Inspector Morse 8.00 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 A Touch Of Frost 10.40 Vincent 12.10am Kavanagh QC 2.05 Brideshead Revisited 3.00 Teleshopping
11.00am Privileged 11.55 The Hills (x5) 2.20 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 David Blaine’s Vertigo 10.00 David Blaine’s Street Magic 11.00 FILM: White Men Can’t Jump (1992) 1.15am Supernanny US 2.00 The Class
12.40pm Time Team 1.45 FILM: The Enemy Below (1957) 3.35 Grand Designs 4.40 Grand Designs Revisited 5.45 Grand Designs (x3) 9.00 Time Team Special 10.00 The Unsinkable Titanic 11.40 Time Team Special 12.45am The Unsinkable Titanic 2.20 Time Team (x2) 4.15 Close
11.00am Seven Days To Noon (1950) 12.55pm Terry Gilliam Interview 1.00 Picture Perfect (1997) 2.55 Brief Encounter (1945) 4.40 Three Secrets (1950) 6.35 Terry Gilliam Interview 6.45 Time Bandits (1981) 9.00 Mean Machine (2001) 11.00 Funny Games (2007) 1.10am Import/Export (2007)
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sunday 18 Bear Grylls and Will Ferrell: Born Survivors Channel 4, 7.05pm It would sound like a comedy Hollywood pitch if you told someone else about it but really – Bear Grylls is taking comic actor Will Ferell to the remote north of Sweden. Even saying ‘Sweden’ sounds like it’s in a comedy film. S’not. They’re going on a two-day survival challenge. Blimey!
Last Chance to See BBC2, 8pm This series has passed too quickly and in a dramatic end to it Stephen Fry and zoologist have a very close encounter with grey whales. Well, seeking our rare creatures will have its dangers. That’s why they’re rare. They also meet the deadly Humboldt Squid during their search for the mighty blue whale. Quite stunning.
Harper’s Island BBC3, 9pm & 9.40pm It’s the very end and with all the twists and turns it’s a wonder a Minotaur doesn’t come charging out of the woods demanding these gruesome youngsters get out of its maze. Will there be a happy resolution? Will the cops turn up in time? Will Abby finally flip and just burn the whole blinkin’ island down? Find out.
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7.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 1.25 EastEnders 3.20 Points Of View 3.35 BBC News 3.50 South East Today 4.00 Formula 1: The Brazilian Grand Prix 5.05 Meerkat Manor 5.30 Meerkat Manor
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Bits And Bobs 7.00 Uncle Max 7.10 Diddy Dick And Dom 7.15 OOglies 7.30 Prank Patrol 8.00 Da Dick And Dom Dairies 8.30 M.I. High 9.00 The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Animal Park 12.00pm MotoGP 2009: Round 15 – Phillip Island 1.00 Gymnastics: World Championships 4.55 A Summer On Golden Pond 5.05 Meerkat Manor 5.30 Meerkat Manor 5.55 Songs Of Praise
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Paz 9.35 Captain Mack 9.50 Supernormal 10.05 Emu 10.20 Coronation Street Omnibus 12.35pm Animals Do The Funniest Things 1.35 ITV News And Weather 1.40 Columbo: Murder, Smoke And Shadows 3.40 FILM: Live And Let Die (1973)
6.35am The Hoobs 7.00 FIVB Beach Volleyball 8.00 Freesports On 4 8.30 Freesports On 4 8.55 Friends 9.30 Hollyoaks 12.05pm Alexandra Burke: Under The Skin 1.05 Rimmel London Presents The World’s Greatest Pop Star: Kylie Minogue 2.10 Friends 2.40 Ugly Betty 3.40 The Simpsons 4.15 The Simpsons 4.45 Deal Or No Deal 5.35 Scrapheap Challenge
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 12.30pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday (x2) 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE: Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Ford Football Special 3.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 4.00 Spanish Football
6.30 Porridge Classic prison-set sitcom. 7.00 Top Gear Motoring magazine show. Jeremy, Richard and James celebrate 40 years of British Leyland by reviewing three of their cars. 8.00 Last Chance To See See highlights. 9.00 Charley Boorman: Sydney To Tokyo By Any Means In Indonesia, Charley is excited about a new adventure ahead. Beginning in Makassar in south Sulawesi, Charley drops in on a Muslim wedding and sees another side to how the ceremony is celebrated. Don’t tell us – he bumps into Vince Vaughn filming The Wedding Crashers – International. No? 10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Highlights from the day’s two Premier League games, which feature four clubs from the north west. New Year’s Day, 1966 was the last time Blackburn met Burnley in the top flight. In the day’s other game, Manchester City visit Wigan Athletic. 10.50 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Repeat of Thursday’s show. 11.20 FILM: Wah-Wah (2005) Starring Gabriel Byrne, Miranda Richardson, Nicholas Hoult. Semiautobiographical coming-of-age drama offering an insight into life in Swaziland in the 1960s as the British reign over the colony came to an end. 1.00am BBC News
6.00 Meridian News; Weather 6.15 ITV News; Weather 6.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Repeat of yesterday’s show. 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes Today Formula 1 racing legend David Coulthard and clan take on Anthea Turner and her folks. Hosted by Vernon Kay and his massive teeth. 7.45 The X Factor The 11 remaining acts find out the results of the public vote. The two acts with the lowest number of votes must sing for survival in the final showdown. This is why the acts have to be young. Heart attack alert at the tension. 9.00 Doc Martin Lighthearted pastoral drama. Martin makes a good impression when he meets one of the interviewers for the surgeon’s job in London. Despite appearing to be over his blood phobia, Martin realises that he isn’t. Bit of a hinderence. 10.00 ITV News; Weather 10.15 Lee Hall: The South Bank Show Melvyn Bragg meets acclaimed playwright Lee Hall to discuss his work and influences, touching upon the sense of loss that pervades some of his work. 11.15 The Other Side 12.15am UEFA Champions League Weekly 12.40 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.30 Kojak 2.30 Countrywise 2.55 Thrifty Ways For Modern Days: Tonight 3.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 – 7.55am Children’s television 7.55 Noddy In Toyland 8.05 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 8.40 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.55 Olivia 9.10 Little Princess 9.25 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Snobs 10.30 Wizards Of Waverly Place 11.00 Hannah Montana 11.30 The Tribe 12.05pm Farmer Wants A Wife 1.00 Megastructures: Built From Disaster 2.00 FILM: The Rocketeer (1991) 4.05 FILM: Stuart Little 2 (2002) 5.40 Five News 5.45 FILM: The Phantom (1996) 7.40 FILM: Spider-Man (2002) Starring Tobey Maguire, Willem Dafoe, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco and Cliff Robertson. Live action adaptation of the Marvel comic strip about an alienated teen who is bitten by a genetically altered spider during a school outing and subsequently develops superhuman powers. As he endeavours to come to terms with his new-found abilities, he is also forced to contend with a maniac villain known as the Green Goblin. No talk of Health and Safety or suing the school for negligence. This was in a different America altogether. 10.00 FILM: The Punisher (2004) Starring Tom Jane, John Travolta, Will Patton, Rebecca Romjin and Laura Harring. Action thriller. A vengeful FBI agent is determined to wreck the life of the Florida drug lord who killed his wife and children. He remakes himself in the form of The Punisher, a ruthless and heavily armed vigilante who will stop at nothing to defeat his enemies. Based on the Marvel Comics hero. Not real life. There’s too much confusion between those two. If you do get confused, just check the number of civil lawyers versus criminal ones. 12.15am FlashForward 1.10 NFL Live 4.40 NFL Classics 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
7.10 Countryfile Rural issues. Matt Baker and Jules Hudson are on Dartmoor, where Matt is training with Devon’s Cave Rescue team, and Jules is getting up-close to rutting stags. 8.10 Casualty Drama series. Ruth’s surgical dreams are within her grasp, but she is forced to make a difficult choice. The F2s are under strict supervision until they are thrown into danger; will they sink or swim? Are F2s witches, then? 9.00 Emma Four-part adaptation of the Jane Austen classic by BAFTA award-winning writer Sandy Welch. Is there a piano on the horizon? Where did it come from? Maybe we’ll find out. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 FILM: Good Will Hunting (1997) Starring Matt Damon, Robin Williams, Minnie Driver, Ben Affleck, Cole Hauser and Stellan Skarsgard. Poignant story of a troubled young genius who finds his allegiance to his friends and blue-collar background challenged by new opportunities. A beautiful postgraduate student and an unusual therapist aid him in his struggle to resolve the anger and confusion that accompany his extraordinary intellect. 12.20am Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: The Muslim Tommies 12.55 Last Chance To See 1.55 Holby City 2.55 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers 3.25 BBC News
6.35 Channel 4 News 7.05 Bear Grylls And Will Ferrell: Born Survivors See highlights. 8.00 Come Dine With Me Cookerybased reality show. Four cooks from Edinburgh – an entrepreneur, an exteacher, a pilot and an off-licence manager – battle it out for the £1,000 cash prize. 9.00 FILM: The Last King Of Scotland (2007) Starring Forest Whitaker, James McAvoy, Gillian Anderson, Kerry Washington and Simon McBurney. Oscar-winning drama about a young Scottish doctor who travels to 1970s Uganda in search of adventure. Befriended by the new president, Idi Amin, he becomes his personal doctor and allows the dictators charm to blind him to the terror that Amin is committing until it is almost too late. 11.30 FILM: Saw II (2005) Starring Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith, Donnie Wahlberg, Erik Knudsen and Glenn Plummer. Horror sequel in which the psychopathic Jigsaw returns to continue playing his macabre games. Eight strangers, all dosed with slowacting poison, wake up in a boobytrapped house. Pick an urban fear – it’ll probably be in here. 1.15am My Name Is Earl (x2) 2.05 Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip (x2) 3.30 3 Minute Wonder (x4) 3.50 Invasion 4.30 Reaper 5.15 In Your Dreams 5.25 Countdown
Sky Sports 2 6.00am UEFA Champions League Weekly 6.30 International Rugby League 8.00 Spanish Football 9.30 LIVE Masters Tennis 12.00pm Sailing 12.30 LIVE European Rugby (x2) 5.30 LIVE NFL 9.00 LIVE: NFL 12.30am European Rugby Special 1.30 Masters Tennis 3.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am FEI Equestrian World 6.30 Golf Night 8.30 WWE Afterburn 9.30 WWE: Vintage Collection 10.30 International Rugby League 12.00pm FEI Equestrian World 12.30 Wild Spirits 1.00 Watersports World 2.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 6.00 WWE Experience 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 Gillette World Sport 8.00 European Rugby Special 9.00 Masters Tennis 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE: Vintage Collection 1.00 Golf Night 3.00 FEI Equestrian World 3.30 Close
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12.00pm Futurama 12.30 Malcolm In The Middle 1.00 Oops TV (x2) 2.00 Project Runway 3.00 Bones 4.00 UK Border Force 5.00 Modern Family 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 Grease: The School Musical (x4) 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 House 10.00 Fringe 11.00 Bones 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Inside: The Prison Code
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Greatest Moments 8.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.00 Harper’s Island (x2). See highlights. 10.25 Harper’s Island Solved 10.55 Family Guy (x2) 11.40 Formula 1: The Brazilian Grand Prix 12.40am Harper’s Island (x2) 2.05 Harper’s Island Solved
7.00pm FILM: Thoroughly Modern Millie (1967) 9.15 Electric Dreams 10.15 Spiral II 11.10 It’s Only A Theory 11.40 Synth Britannia 1.10am Synth Britannia At The BBC 2.10 Electric Dreams 3.10 Synth Britannia
3.40pm Planet’s Funniest Animals 4.10 Taylor Swift: The Hot Desk 4.20 All Star Family Fortunes 5.05 New You’ve Been Framed! 5.35 FILM: Peter Pan (2003) 7.45 Coleen’s Real Women 8.45 Taylor Swift: The Hot Desk 9.00 The Xtra Factor 10.00 Trinity 11.00 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 12.00am Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show
11.40am FILM: Murder, She Wrote: The Last Free Man (2001) 1.25pm Rising Damp 1.55 Inspector Morse 4.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 6.15 The Forsyte Saga 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 FILM: Frantic (1988) 11.30 Profiling Val McDermid 12.35am FILM: Staying Alive (1983) 2.15 Wycliffe 3.10 On The Buses
12.20pm Dark Angel (x2) 2.10 Reaper (x2) 4.05 Beauty And The Geek 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Ugly Betty 7.00 Privileged 8.00 One Tree Hill 9.00 Friends (x2) 10.00 FILM: Porky’s (1982) 12.00am Wife Swap USA 12.55 Supernanny US (x2) 2.30 Gok’s Fashion Fix 3.25 Hollyoaks
12.45pm Scrapheap Challenge 1.50 How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 4.40 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.30 Jamie At Home 8.00 River Cottage Autumn 9.00 Heston’s Victorian Feast 10.00 Half Ton Mum 11.10 Father Ted 11.40 Hung 12.40am Curb Your Enthusiasm 1.20 Deal Or No Deal
11.00am The Gift Horse (1952) 12.55pm Terry Gilliam Interview 1.00 Last Holiday (2006) 3.10 Kidnapped (1971) 5.15 Terry Gilliam Interview 5.25 Carry On Up The Khyber (1968) 7.10 Big Momma’s House (2000) 9.00 A Good Year (2006) 11.15 The Cooler (2003) 1.15am Second Best (1994)
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monday 19 Age 8 and Wanting a Sex Change Channel 4, 9pm The UK is considering revising its guidelines for treating transgender children, and to get everyone else to have a view on the issues too here’s a documentary following a number of transgender youngsters. Including two American 8-yearolds already receiving treatment.
FlashForward Five, 9pm The flash forward is affecting people in different ways. Some think they’re going to die and so run very fast to catch baddies (naming no names but check out the pic) and some think they know what ails them when they go to doctor Olivia for a diagnosis. Why not just trust the future for a tip?
Doctor Who BBC3, 7pm No, the Doctor has not soldered his lips together with the sonic screwdriver, no matter what the picture on the left may lead you to believe. He has, in fact, found a girlfriend. Or he will do. You know how it is with Time Lords. Anyway, Tracy-Ann Oberman tells him she’ll be his squeeze and they battle baddies. Natch.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 What’s New Scooby Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 School Of Silence 4.35 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.10 Charlie And Lola 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Let’s Write Poetry: The Big Slam 11.20 KS1 Science Clips 11.30 Primary History 11.40 Seasonal Snapshots 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Animal Park 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman returns with all the backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action. 7.00 Coal House At War Deep in the Welsh valleys, three families give up their 21st century creature comforts and time-travel back to 1944 to face the hardships of life in WWII. 7.30 An Island Parish A year in the life of the remote Isles of Scilly. 8.00 University Challenge The first of the highest-scoring losers games; UCL versus Clare College Cambridge. 8.30 Masterchef The Professionals It is finals time and the remaining three chefs are vying for the title of Masterchef Champion. This is going to be so lush your taste buds will want to explode in sheer frustration that it’s only on the telly. 9.15 Design For Life Design students compete for a placement at Philippe Starck’s design agency. It is the final. Only IIsa and Mike remain from the original 12 students. 10.15 Dragons’ Den Online Dragons’ Den online. Bosh. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Have I Got News For You The popular news quiz. 11.50 Charley Boorman: Sydney To Tokyo By Any Means Repeat of Sunday’s show. 12.50am BBC News 4.00 I-Maths 1 5.00 I-Maths Extra 5.30 ID&T - Maths
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.10am Sali Mali 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Battlefront Television 10.00 How To Dump Your Mates 10.30 KNTV – Philosophy 11.00 Lifeproof TV 11.30 The Family: Teen Stories 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Juggling Homelessness 12.35 Wife Swap USA 1.35 FILM: The Destructors (1967) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Faye challenges Mark to sacrifice his marriage. Well, it started at an alter... 7.30 Coronation Street Will Luke escape with Rosie’s money? Here’s hoping. Stuck-up little madam. 8.00 Health Records For Sale: Tonight Chris Rogers investigates the sale of British medical data abroad and travels to India to expose some of the criminals responsible. 8.30 Coronation Street Carla gives Tony a shocking ultimatum. 9.00 Murderland Three part crime thriller telling the emotional story of a young woman’s quest to discover the truth about her mother’s death. The story is told in two timeframes and from three different points of view. This episode focuses on Carol’s perspective as a teenager on the night of the murder. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Thomas Crown Affair (1999) Starring Pierce Brosnan, Rene Russo. Stylish remake. Selfmade millionaire Thomas Crown has a dangerous hobby - stealing priceless works of art. His latest heist puts glamorous insurance investigator Catherine Banning on his tail. 12.40am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.30 Loose Women 2.20 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.15 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Some McQueen does something to upset some other McQueen. Chances are. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Dispatches: Ready For A Riot The Dispatches team gain exclusive access to the Metropolitan Police to find out the level of training officers are given and hear from critics of the force’s methods in dealing with public disorder. Shouting “stop it!” doesn’t seem to help. 9.00 Age 8 And Wanting A Sex Change See highlights. 10.00 Ugly Betty Drama series about an ordinary-looking secretary working for a fashion magazine. Betty and Marc analyse Mode’s budget. Matt continues to pursue Betty. She’s a speedy lady. 11.00 Wife Swap USA American version of the hit Wife Swap series. Kay Martinez, a disciplinarian who teaches martial arts, trades places with fun-loving Roxie Figaratto, whose family sing karaoke seven nights a week. 11.55 No Angels Series following the racy adventures of nurses working the wards of St Margaret’s Hospital. 1.00am FILM: Khamosh Pani (2003) 2.50 Supporting Acts 3.10 Invasion 3.50 Chicken Wire 4.00 The Blue Dragon (x8)
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 The Diet Doctors Inside And Out 12.40pm Five News 12.50 How To Be A Property Developer 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 FILM: Touch The Top Of The World (2006) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Charlie searches for evidence against Grant. Nicole continues to pursue Sid. 6.30 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 How Do They Do It? A look at how fireworks are made in the Chinese city of Liuyang. Do NOT try this at home. Even in Lewes. 8.00 The Gadget Show Consumer technology show. Suzi heads off to Switzerland to check out the latest concept cars and Jon teams up with Dame Kelly Holmes to give the latest fitness gadgets a workout. 9.00 FlashForward See highlights. 10.00 Ross Noble’s Australian Trip Ross pays a visit to Kryal Castle, a mock medieval tourist attraction that was built in the 1970s and has changed little since then. Ross hangs out with the knights and even gets to meet ‘King’ Ralph. Sounds brill! 11.00 FILM: Anaconda (1997) Starring Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Jon Voight, Eric Stoltz, Jonathan Hyde and Owen Wilson. Action adventure about a documentary film crew’s encounter with a terrifying 40-foot snake. Ridiculous and full of bits to make you jump. Classic trash for your viewing pleasure. 12.40am SuperCasino 3.00 NASCAR Sprint Cup 3.55 Race And Rally UK 4.45 Motorsport Mundial 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home & Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 11.00 Spanish Football 1.00pm Ford Football Special 2.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 3.00 Spanish Football 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 SPL Round-Up 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE: Football League 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 SPL Round-Up 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Football League 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Watersports World 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out A battle between the locals protecting the countryside and farmers growing more food. 8.00 EastEnders Heather’s waters break and Patrick is there to hold her hand, while Shirley gets more desperate to make ends meet. 8.30 Panorama Panorama investigates the truth about racism and anti-social behaviour in Britain today, as two British Asian reporters pose as a couple living on a housing estate, and are bullied, attacked and racially abused more than 50 times in eight weeks. 9.00 Life Wildlife series narrated by David Attenborough. See Saturday. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show The award-winning host continues his anarchic talk show. 11.20 Diwali: Hindu Health Check Can the ancient eastern medicine called Ayurveda work in Britain today? Jessica Frazier investigates. 11.50 FILM: Hopscotch (1980) Starring Walter Matthau, Glenda Jackson, Ned Beatty. Comedy. 1.30am Weatherview 1.35 Sign Zone: Bang Goes The Theory 2.05 Watchdog 3.05 Masterchef The Professionals 3.35 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 4.20 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 Masters Tennis 12.00pm Golf Night 2.00 Masters Tennis 4.00 Golf Night 6.00 Extra Time 6.30 Ronan Keating Golf Classic 7.00 NFL Gameday 8.30 Golf: World Club Championship 9.30 Ronan Keating Golf Classic 10.00 Poker 11.30 Spirit Of Yachting VIII: Rolex Fastnet Race 12.00am Fishing: Thinking Tackle 1.00 Poker 2.30 Showjumping 3.30 Ronan Keating Golf Classic 4.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 11.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing 12.00pm European Rugby Special 1.00 NFL Gameday 2.30 Max Power 3.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 4.00 European Rugby Special 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 8.00 Formula Kart Stars 8.30 Showjumping 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE: Late Night Raw 4.15 Close
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2.00pm Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons 7.00 Hairspray: The Story So Far 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 UK Border Force (x2) 11.00 Stargate Universe 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Street Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who. See highlights. 7.45 Doctor Who Greatest Moments 8.00 Bizarre ER 8.30 Clever V Stupid 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 Lunch Monkeys 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Coming Of Age 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Clever V Stupid 12.20am How Not To Live Your Life 12.50 Lunch Monkeys
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Inside Antiques 8.00 The Twenties In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn 9.00 Glamour’s Golden Age 10.00 Legends: Al Bowlly - The Very Thought Of You 11.00 The Thick Of It Special 12.00am FILM: Thoroughly Modern Millie (1967) 2.15 Glamour’s Golden Age
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Primeval 8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 Benidorm 11.00 Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show 11.30 FILM: You, Me And Dupree (2006) 1.45am Coronation Street (x2)
1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Jeeves And Wooster 9.00 Live The Dream... As Seen On Screen 10.00 Taggart 11.00 The Bill: In The Know 12.05am Wycliffe
1.10pm Scrubs 1.40 Friends 2.10 Gilmore Girls 3.05 Veronica Mars 4.00 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Being Erica 11.00 Skins 12.00am Scrubs (x2) 12.55 How I Met Your Mother
3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Celebrity Come Dine With Me 10.00 Without A Trace 11.00 The Closer 12.00am Saving Grace
11.00am Millions Like Us (1943) 1.00pm Freedom Radio (1941) 2.50 The Gentle Sex (1943) 4.40 The Children’s Hour (1961) 6.50 Holy Man (1998) 9.00 Million Dollar Baby (2004) 11.35 The Blair Witch Project (1999) 1.15am The Good Girl (2002) 3.10 Close
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