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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
DIZZEE RASCAL
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★
Streets ahead p11
20 – 26 October 2009
FREE WEEKLY
Flamin’ Foxy’s Things are getting hot, hot, hot in Hove page 15
HEATHER MILLS Finding Nemo – and keeping him there EAST MEETS WEST Brighton Early Music Festival is back WHITE NIGHT A feast of culture after dark
000_LS446 NLP
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003_LS446_contents
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welcome
L7 CONTENTS 04 NEWS & COMMENT 4 Social Diary Brighton Art Fair and the launch of Brighton Live 5 City Speak Heather Mills fights for fishy rights; plus Seann and Will 6 News 7 Days Of Headlines; Councillor Mary Mears 6 Latest Inbox Readers’ letters 7 Bookings Skellig, Take That musical, Paul Merton and The XX on sale 7 Latest Brighton Download Chart Who’s at number one this week? 7 Competitions Win ‘60s night tickets, dvds and litres of health juice 8 Snap Shots Circus performer Florence Leon 9 Celebcity Alan Carr in a dustbin and Heather Mills’ new TV show 10 Bare Cheek Even better than seeing Allah in your tomato 10 Astral Angi Fight your phobias with the stars
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11 L7 INTERVIEW Grime pioneer turned pop star Dizzee Rascal on road rage, his royal fans, the fallacy of street loyalty and hooking up with Calvin Harris in Brighton
13 LIFESTYLE 13 Health Wear It Pink for Breast Cancer Awareness Month 15 Cover feature Festive dining made fuss-free at Foxy’s Roast & Grill 16 Hotlist 21 great restaurants and coffee shops 17 Food & Drink Kemp Brasserie reviewed
19 WHAT’S ON 19 Stage The New Venture Theatre and Upstairs At The Three And Ten launch their autumn programmes 20 Music & Clubs Brighton Early Music Festival previewed 22 Events A movie treasure trail and more at White Night 22 Art Trees get star treatment at the Crane Kalman gallery 23 Comedy Stand-up Stephen K Amos on his new TV projects 23 Film What’s screening at your local cinema this week 24 Gay Kinky Dangerous’s 4th birthday at Revenge 25 Reviews Best Of The Fest, The Hypochondriac, Bat For Lashes 26 Sport Marathon Mary ponders which charity to sponsor 26 TV Your seven-day guide to what’s on the box
Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay
Production Director Fiona McTernan Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Latest 7 Editor Bella Todd Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker Sub Editors Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell
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We’ve always thought ‘the city that never sleeps’ a rather strange boast for a place to make of itself. Who wants to live in a land of manic wakefulness, where saucer-eyed zombie people wonder streets paved with ProPlus packets and halfeaten kebabs, and everyone looks a bit like Robbie Williams ‘coming back’ on The X Factor? But White Night, Brighton’s own all-night festival which returns for a second year this weekend, really is something to shout about (quietly, of course, and with due concern for the neighbours). Read about this free nocturnal extravaganza in our News and Events sections. If you’d rather not be running the turkey under the hot tap at 4am on Christmas morning again this year, check out our cover feature on Foxy’s Roast & Grill, who’ll deliver a hot festive banquet direct to your door. One resident who never seems to rest is our celebrity columnist Heather Mills who, not content with preparing for her new TV show (read more in Celebcity), this week undertakes the modest task of saving the world’s sealife. Elsewhere in Latest 7 we chat to Dizzee Rascal ahead of his gig at the Concert Hall, Brighton Dome next week. The only artist to have made grime pay, we found him determined to tell the truth about the fallacy of street loyalty... and his secret R Kelly collection. Meanwhile there’s news of the Brighton Early Music Festival in Music, and Breast Cancer Awareness Month in Health. And fans of the Whitbread-winning book Skellig can turn to Bookings for details of the brand new stage show – plus a fantastic opportunity for your family to win a box on opening night.
Bella Todd, Latest 7 Editor
L7 Don’t miss...
Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Staff Writers Nick Aldwinckle (Music) Pearl Bates (Events) Jaime Pettit (Clubs)
White Night 24 – 25 October Across Brighton Over 15,000 people are expected to attend this nocturnal spectacular, in which venues from the Phoenix Gallery to the Prince Regent swimming pool will open their doors out of hours to celebrate the extra hour of darkness created by the clocks going back.
Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Peter Knight Steve Sawyer Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi
Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless
01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.
004_LS446_Social Diary
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LATEST DIARY The Half Sisters
Latest diary Tim Richardson snaps the launches of Brighton Art Fair and Brighton Live 2009
Sing stars Brighton Live 2009 launched at Lucky Voice with some very unique performances from The Half Sisters and Grasscut. Guests enjoyed free Asahi beer and were able to test out their own vocal talents in the karaoke booths.
Ali (Juice 107.2) Sarah Clayman (BIPP)
Exhibitionists The sixth Brighton Art Fair took place at the beautiful Corn Exchange building in the heart of the city earlier this month. The fair showcased more than 120 contemporary artists and attracted a capacity audience of just over 5000 visitors with its reputation for exhibiting exceptional quality artwork in a welcoming, friendly environment. For more information visit www.brightonartfair.co.uk
Angela Lizon (monstrous over-sized portraits of cats)
Lou Trigg (stitched images based on the idea of tragic women), Ian Williams
Frances Doherty (organic ceramic sculpture celebrating the diversity of plant life)
005_LS446_Seann/Will/VBites
10/16/09
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CITY SPEAK 05
Seann
Will
Seann Walsh is going nowhere, slowly
Will Harris is uneasy with a life of peace and pastries
O
write this week from my father’s house in France, a whitewashed bungalow on a misty lake with the forest pressing in on all sides. Above my head buzzes a single dusty lightbulb. From down the hall a floorboard creaks. It’s quiet. Too quiet. This preternatural peace and quiet was part of the reason my dad moved out here, part of the reason many Brits move out here. This region has the same population as East Sussex, just stretched over fifteen times the size. According to my dad, the move has been like stepping back into childhood, when you’d never see a car on the roads and people would stop to say hello to each other in the street. Given that he grew up amid the factories of Coventry, I’m not entirely sure whose childhood he’s stepped back into. Possibly it’s the Hovis kid’s. Still, he seems happy enough. Each morning he gets on his bike and cycles into the village for fresh bread (see – it is the Hovis kid’s), while my stepmum boils the eggs and brews the coffee. And it’s true; if he meets someone coming the other way, he does stop and say ‘bonjour’ to them. Sometimes he stops so fast he almost goes flying over the handlebars. I think he’s trying to prove a point. And I’m still not convinced the local ladies aren’t secretly terrified of this strange Englishman screeching to a halt before them, baguettes waggling.
nly once have I attempted to sped away from the scene of my drive a car. A friend and I were feeble attempts. on a late-night drive. On a That taught me that driving is hard. country road, he suggested that I One of the rules I live by is that if drive (an old biscuit tin on wheels, something's hard, that's a good now rusting in a scrapyard). reason not to bother. But it's not the Starting a car involves some only reason I don’t drive. negotiation between the ignition, Owning a car is stressful stuff: clutch and accelerator. Any petrol prices, insurance, driving’s operation requiring three separate incompatibility with drunkenness, acts is daunting, but beginner's traffic, parking. luck took over and saw me through Parking, in this city of ours is first time. Driving seemed easy. obscenely stressful. When you But eventually, eventually get you have to a permit (for change gear. I had which you pay a foot on a pedal, “I noticed that we plenty), you a hand on a wheel realise that were rolling, at a and two eyes on there are more the road. With all cars than there humble speed of this going on, are spaces, and there was no way 28mph, into a ditch” by the time you I could commit find a place to another hand to park, you're so touching a gear stick. My quota of far from where you live that you simultaneous physical engagements may as well get a cab home from had reached its natural limit. your car. So, this drive involved me steering A friend of mine lives in Merlin and accelerating, and a friend in the Close, Hove, where the absurdity is back changing gear, providing a taken to new levels. It is a quiet literal interpretation of the idea of a suburban cul-de-sac with about ten back seat driver. As we fumbled into houses, and they've put double third gear, I noticed that we were yellow lines there, meaning that the rolling, at a humble speed of 28mph, residents whose houses don’t have into a ditch. I stopped the car, having drives have to park half a mile from made the decision that it would be their homes. It’s an inexplicable impossible to steer away from decision, one step in stupidity anything at such velocity. behind putting double yellow lines Trying to start the car again was in people’s private garages. like trying to wake me up: a groan With this and other stresses, the and a cough, but no movement. I utility and freedom of the car are handed the wheel back to my not enough to persuade me. For the friend, who started it first time and time being, I’ll get the bus instead.
I
“I imagine this is what the end of the world will look like” But while my dad and stepmum love the silence, to me it has something of the uncanny. Sometimes, when I walk through the village, there’s no other person in sight. No cars. No bicyclettes. Just empty windows and a tattered tricolore flapping sadly above the gates of the Mairie. It’s like being in a particularly spooky episode of The Saint or The Prisoner. All that’s missing is an invasion of faceless robot people and Patrick Macnee trying to clout something with an umbrella. God knows where all the French have gone. I imagine this is what the end of the world will look like. No flood or fire or the pas de deux of comets falling. Just these interminable grey French skies and the long, slow emptying of the world. Plus my dad of course, cycling through it all in search of a croissant and humming the Marseillaise. But I’m not ready for that yet. I want life and laughter, and 3am taxis and overpriced chain-store coffees dragging me daily to the brink of bankruptcy. And so, tomorrow, I shall catch the TGV to Paris. And I will sit and get drunk in the noisiest, most raucous bar I can find. And I won’t say hello to anyone.
Fancy yourself as the next Seann or Will? Latest 7 is on the look out for a new Brighton voice. Send a 450 word sample column to bella@thelatest.co.uk
trawling net in the world could accommodate thirteen 747s. The thoughtlessness behind trawler fishing makes up 80 per cent of the world’s catch underneath a deceptively tranquil ocean surface. It never ceases to amaze me what can be rationalised by business when it is hidden from public view. Global fish stocks have been running dangerously low for years. Is it any Heather Mills is with Nemo on this one wonder why? 15 years ago the UNFAO report stated, “of the worlds 17 main fishing grounds, nine were facing potentially emember Finding Nemo? “I’m a nice catastrophic declines, while the remaining “We’ve been warned that the world areas were exploited to the limits of their shark, not a mindless eating machine. If I am to change this image, I must capacity.” Rather than prompting the urgent will run out of seafood by 2048” first change myself. Fish are friends, not food.” implementation of widespread global marine It’s not sharks that are in desperate need reserves, our governments responded by of a lie down on the therapists couch. Animal arguing over the fishing rights to a dwindling resource – a short sighted, activity, even the most primal, prehistoric, economic response to a serious conservation problem. razor sharp teeth variety, is sustainable. If we carry on plundering the oceans at current levels, an international group Human industrial activity is the real beast and of ecologists and economists has warned that the world will run out of seafood it always wants more and is never satisfied! by 2048. I can think of no better description of an Many people believe that eating fish is an environmentally friendly option. industrialised fishing trawler than a mindless We are encouraged to eat more because of the health benefits of Omega 3 eating machine. Weighted nets are dragged protein. Fish do not produce Omega 3 in their bodies but obtain it from their across the seabed, crushing and grinding to diet of algae. In order that I get the benefits of Omega 3 as a vegan, I cut out destruction anything in its path. Seabed the middleman and take supplements direct from the algae, not from the fish. habitats that fish depend on to breathe are It is an urgent necessity for us as consumers to become destroyed, wiping out fish so young they are unable to replenish populations. more conscious of how and where our food is sourced. Let us Because they can’t select what is caught, non-target species and those hope it will not be too late before we realise fish were our without commercial value are injured and killed in the nets, then discarded. friends and not just food. This includes any creature from the sea – dolphins, seals and sea birds, anything unfortunate enough to get swallowed up by these destructive eating machines. Do you agree with Heather? comment@thelatest.co.uk Sonar radars make it easy to track spools of fish, and the mouth of the biggest
VBites of wisdom
R
006_LS446_newsphil/Council
10/16/09
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06 LATEST NEWS Appeal in aid of The Park Centre for Breast Cancer in Brighton. City chiefs expected a good response but nothing like the size of the one they got. They have just announced that no fewer than 10,000 bras have been handed in. By my reckoning the bras, end-toend, would stretch about 30,000 feet – or 16 times the height of the i360 tower.
L7 News
7
days of headlines with Phil Mills
The i360 tower looms larger (possibly), Aids and IRA bombing victims are remembered and it’s bra-vo to Brighton women
P
romises, promises, and yet more promises. But how many can you believe? There was a vow to do better by Sussex Police after failing to meet government targets on how it keeps crime victims up to date with investigations, and how it supports dissatisfied members of the public. There was a pledge from architects that the 600 ft Brighton i360 tower on the seafront will be ready in time for the London Olympics. (Remember Portsmouth’s Spinnaker Tower that was six years late and massively over budget?) And there was the government promise to fund further education programmes like a new City College Brighton building in Pelham Street. (That, along with many other projects, has been tossed in the bin by a government now selling off assets to meet its debts). The news has been dominated by promises – and memorials. A memorial to Aids victims was unveiled in New Steine Gardens in Kemp Town and there was a service to mark the 25th anniversary of the IRA bombing of Brighton’s Grand Hotel, which killed five and injured 30. There was a packed crowd at a memorial gathering at the Grand Hotel to mark the occasion but there were faces noticeably missing. A Latest 7 check found many who should have been there, were not. So we contacted retired Detective Chief Superintendent Tim O’Connor, who was the detective inspector in
charge of undercover armed officers in The Grand that morning. The team performed heroics in leading survivors to safety and helping the injured. Tim said: “My officers and I were inside the building 24 hours a day throughout conference week. I’m surprised none was invited.” A missed opportunity, it seems. Thank goodness the women of Brighton and Hove have seized with both hands an initiative aimed at them.
In August this year the city council launched bra collection banks which encourage recycling and raise money for a local breast cancer charity. Cityclean, the council’s waste and recycling service, and BCR Global, a national textile recycling company, transport the bras along with other clothing to developing regions in African, Pakistan and eastern Europe. The clothes are repaired and sold, providing business opportunities and affordable clothing. And every recycled bra earns money for the Pink Dolphin
Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on a nocturnal extravaganza
D
o something different in the middle of the night! That is the slogan for Brighton and Hove’s White Night festival which is taking place overnight next weekend – the night the clocks go back. Last year’s festival – the first one we have staged – was a huge success with over 15,000 people attending and this year’s promises to be even bigger and better. For a start, this year we have won European funding and are working closely
with Amiens in France, who are holding a corresponding ‘Nuit Blanche’. Dozens of indoor venues will be opening in the city, while around 20 outdoor locations are staging events and performances. Elsewhere there are a number of night time trails and tours around the city. There are three events that I am particularly looking forward to: a spectacular mystery art commission which
latest inbox comment@thelatest.co.uk Hi, I just wanted to comment on the latest column from Mama Malone [Latest Homes, 445]. I loved reading this today and it really gave me that feeling of ‘thank goodness, I’m not alone!’ Being 35 with a five year old and still not being able to drive, I do sometimes worry. But after reading the article it just made me laugh and remember the days of pushing the buggy everywhere and finding it quite stressful somedays. The little ones are at school now and the buggy days are over, we can hop on a bus together and sit on the top deck! I love being a mum, but in all honesty the toddler/buggy days were pretty tough! It still is sometimes... that’s why it’s really refreshing to read a funny, honest column about motherhood... and not being able to drive past a certain age (-: Thanks Mama Malone! Kim Anderson, by email Regarding the article on Chris Eubank [Latest Seven, 443], I thought he was bankrupt and had to send his two sons to America to be adopted so they could supposedly have a better life than he could give them here. But yet he can spend £30,000 on his teeth. Lucky him, hey! I would like to say well done to Antony Hodgson, his cartoon sketches are great! Also I love the Landlady column and Mama Malone, her stories are just so real I can really relate to them. Lara B, by email
Have you donated your bra to charity? comment@thelatest.co.uk
You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
will be unveiled on the night in Jubilee Square; Periplum, which is described as a musical journey through the streets with sound, performance and interactive theatre; and light projections which will transform New Road’s Unitarian Church into a giant art canvas. More people take part in the arts and cultural activities in Brighton and Hove than in any other English city outside of London and events like White Nights explain why. There is something on offer to suit everyone’s taste and I would encourage you to go along and see what all the fuss is about! For more informaton visit www.whitenightnuitblanche.com /brighton
007_LS446_Bookings/Comps/chart
10/16/09
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BOOKINGS | COMPETITIONS | CHART 07
L7 Bookings
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
On sale this week…
Brighton Download Chart TOP 10 Latest
SKELLIG Connaught Theatre, Worthing, 10–14 November, £11/9 (family of four £38), www.worthingtheatres.co.uk/01903 206206 The book won the Whitbread Children’s Award in ‘98, beating even Harry Potter, and now David Almond’s tale of troubled ten-year-old Michael, and the angel-like creature he discovers in a crumbling garage, is being staged by Birmingham Stage Company with a cast of actor musicians. The show is suitable for ages 6+ and plays in Worthing prior to a West End transfer. To celebrate, Worthing Theatres are offering one family of four Latest 7 readers a box in the theatre on opening night (10 Nov, 7pm). For a chance to win, email competitions@thelatest.co.uk by 26 October and tell us: Who is the author of Skellig?
1 Zoe – Conquistador
NEVER FORGET Theatre Royal, Brighton, 6–9 January 2010, £12–£32.50, www.ambassadortickets.com 08448 717650 This BAFTA-winning Take That musical from Shameless creator Danny Brocklehurst has been to Brighton before – but not with erstwhile Brooksider, Bo Selecta favourite, Come Dine With Me runner-up and general calendar hunk Phil Olivier in the tight pants. Expect all the hits (and pecs).
2 Panos Christofi – If You Do What You Always Do
NANCY GRIFFITHS
7 David Simnel... – Firebird
De La Warr Pavilion, Bexhill-On-Sea, 4 February 2010, £20, www.dlwp.com/01424 229 111 Grammy-winning country and ‘folkabilly’ singer, who has survived two rounds with cancer in recent years, tours in support of 19th studio album The Loving Kind.
THE XX Komedia, 1 March 2010, £11.50, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton/08452 938480 Visit from the sweetly melancholic and sullenly seductive teens who released their acclaimed debut album this summer. A dead cert to sell out.
PAUL MERTON’S IMPRO CHUMS Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 12 June 2010 £20/18, www.brightondome.org/01273 70909 A fresh UK tour (not that you’ll ever see the same show twice) for the enduringly popular comedian and his fellow improvisers – Mike McShane, Lee Simpson, Richard Vranch and Suki Webster.
COMPETITIONS Watch out for the screws, cobber! Volume Three of Prisoner Cell Block H is out now – and we have the DVD to bust you through the long cold nights.
WIN! SIX MONTHS OF GOOD HEALTH Weather slowing you down? Stop it in its tracks with loads (by which we mean six months’ worth!) of Pomegreat pomegranate juice. With proven health benefits including promoting fertility and fighting prostate cancer and heart disease, it’s the tastiest way to last the winter.
A SWING THROUGH THE ’60S Sixties club night Da Doo Ron Ron celebrate their 11th birthday with an allnighter at Komedia on Saturday 24 October – with guest DJ Pete Wiggs from Saint Etienne. And we have three pairs of tickets to give away. Q Which ‘60s female vocalist sang ‘Shout’?
4 No Sharp Objects – Home 5 Jaybee – Brokeback Mountain 6 Chaos Borne – Watching
8 David Simnel... – Flame Ignited 9 BreakinBear – Rebel in Chief 10 David Simnel...– I Hope We’ll See the Bright... No Sharp Objects’ double-headed reign in the number one and two slots is ended this week as the ‘60s-influenced rockers fall to the charm of Zoe’s quality mellow country affair ‘Conquistador’, almost inevitably hitting the top spot, and pop singer Panos Christofi hot on her heels. Jaybee meanwhile holds firm in five with chart mainstay ‘Brokeback Mountain’.
11 Chaos Borne The Moment
21 The Mojo Fins Always Now
12 The Fooley Mantras Break away
22 North Laine A Place We Knew
13 Rubber Johnny Track 5
A SPELL INSIDE
Q What colour is Pomegreat juice original?
3 No Sharp Objects – The Wrong Kind of Love
Q What is the name of the prison?
A ROCKABILLY HORROR Faye Dunaway stars in Flick, a very British zombie comedy set in ‘50s Wales. It was the surprise hit of last year’s Raindance Festival, and now you can enjoy it from your sofa. Q In which 1974 film did Faye Dunaway win an Oscar?
TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN,
EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk
with the name of the Competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 2 November (all but Da Doo Ron Ron, closing Friday 23 October).
14 Rubber Johnny Trum Pet 15 North Laine Sometimes
23 Mara Project The Path You Take 24 North Laine Crys 25 Gordon's Alive Taxi in 5
26 Mayday Culture Sweet Liar 16 North Laine feat Lion Heart & Bongo Stand Up 27 Freudstein Misadventure Gary Hughes Remix 17 Jaybee Oskar and Eli 28 Lolatwist Pretty 18 Rubber Johnny Fist 29 White Bait The Bug Song 19 Chaos Borne I Will 30 Jim Guittard Listen to 20 Rubber Johnny Your Voice Alzheimers
SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos
SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
008_LS446_Snap Shots
10/16/09
9:13 AM
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08 SNAP SHOTS
Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Florence Leon
“
I love the timing of Brighton, the spaces, its calm. It is a city suspended in time. There is so much potential here, and I love creating opportunities where it can be released and express itself
”
Performer Florence Leon practising her clown street act in one of Brighton’s best free rehearsal spaces. Born in Chile, Florence arrived here two years ago and created the Artichoke Art Group with her sister Solange. She performs in The Circus Project’s show Circus Soup at the Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome on 25 October.
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HOUSE OF COMMONS 29 October – 7.30pm A new high profile political club – a cross betwen The Oxford Union & Have I Got News For You call Bill on 01273 687171 or email bill@thelatest.co.uk
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thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
009_LS446_celebcity
10/15/09
2:38 PM
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CELEBCITY 09
SPONSORED BY
Celebcity with Jo Brooks Alan Carr is ‘rubbish’, Heather Mills plans a new TV show and Norman Cook vows to stay put
Alan’s bin framed T
he laughs have been coming thick and fast with the Magners Brighton Comedy Festival back in town for another year – and there’ve been a few surprises too. Opening the proceedings was the irrepressible Alan Carr, who was hosting Best Of The Fest – which also acted as a fundraiser for Brighton charity the Sussex Beacon – for the second year running. Halfway through the show a surprise appearance was made on stage by famous Brightonian Luke Cresswell, who founded cult global dance act Stomp. He treated the crowd to one of his famous routines, duly kicking and punching a Brighton and Hove council wheelie bin in true Stomp style. At the end of the skit, the lid opened and out popped Alan Carr – looking a little shell-shocked! Also on the bill that night was a rather bizarre addition to the line-up – fresh from the finals of Britain’s Got Talent, were performing dog Gin and owner Kate. Who can forget their hilarious version of ‘The Time Warp’! I am told by organisers that the night raised thousands for the charity – laughter is, it seems a real life tonic. Still on the subject of the comedy fest, veteran performer Ennio Marchetto took to the stage with his unique paper quick fire costume routines. No stranger to keeping up with current celebrities, he specially created a brand new paper look for Brighton – SUBO. Yes, riding high in the charts with a cover of The Rolling Stones’ ‘Wild Horses’ was none other than Susan Boyle!
HOVE IS WHERE NORM’S HEART IS Rumours of superstar DJ Norman Cook and wife Zoe Ball upping sticks and moving out of Brighton were scotched last week. Norman, who played at last week’s fundraising Oxjam – sporting a 100% Brighton Tshirt – said he was ‘staying put’ at his Hove Esplanade mansion. Norman and Zoe, who have been married for ten years, are expecting their second child later this year.
HEATHER GETS HER SKATES ON Hove resident and Latest 7 columnist Heather Mills has reportedly signed up to star in ITV’s Dancing On Ice in 2010. Heather, who made it through to week six on US television series Dancing With The Stars, is already getting a range of prosthetic legs made up for when the ITV reality show returns in January. Ex-England goalie Peter Shilton and ’80s pop star Sinitta are also rumoured to be trying out for the show.
Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com
10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of November 2009 excluding Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers
010_LS446_cheeky/stars
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ONLY JOKING!
10
10/16/09
In & Out
Bare cheek
Special forgotten flyon-the-wall television edition
Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
In
Pornography found in pineapple
H
• The Cruise • Driving School • The Wedding • Jimmy's Farm • The Village
Out • The Farm • Airport • Castaway • The Osbournes • The Next Big Thing
What we used to say
SPOTTED – WITH GILBERT AND SULLIVAN Oh he’s leaving the pier, with his phone to his ear (yes he’s leaving the pier with his phone to his ear)/ And it fain would appear that he’s feeling quite queer (yes it fain would appear that he's feeling quite queer) – Jeremy Clarkson.
ove resident and father of three Derrick Perrick has described himself as “disgusted” after finding “vile” hardcore pornography in a pineapple purchased from a local supermarket. “I know some people have claimed to have found the face of Jesus in foodstuffs,” said Perrick, of Langdale Road. “I wouldn’t have minded that, but when I cut the pineapple, which I’d bought as a treat for the kids, in half, I saw that the pattern of the fruit’s flesh formed what was unmistakably an x-rated image of full-on coitus.” A “revolted” Perrick quickly hid
the edible tropical plant on top of his wardrobe. “I didn’t want the kids to see it,” said Perrick. “I think it's outrageous that things like this are on sale where children of any age could purchase them. I have written to my MP, and I’ve decided to organise a boycott of the supermarket in question.” According to Perrick, the image portrayed such sexual acts as *******, *********, *******, ****** ********, **********, and *******, as well as other practices too nauseating to mention by name in a family magazine. “I showed the pineapple to my wife, and she said she couldn't see anything,” concluded Perrick. “Neither could any of the other fifteen people I showed it to. But I’m convinced I'm right.”
Looking for purchases/She silk and fur chases/Shopping around for the next season's throw/Nearer and farer/In Warehouse and Zara/Looking for one that is simply “just so” – Fearne Cotton.
perpetual and casual/(He’s very intellectual, and something of a spectacle, and sitting in The Grand he looks perpetual and casual) – Andrew Marr.
He’s waiting outside Boots. He is wai-ihay-ihay-ihay-ihay-ting outside Boots – Brendan Cole.
Oh he’s chatting on his mobile/ And the language used is so vile/That the East Street air is turned quite blue (as he bids her adieu with a word that’s taboo) – he is Ruh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huhhuh-huh-sell Brand.
An occasional series in which we struggle to remember the original, simple, once common terms that have been abandoned in favour of ghastly, overblown, crass, managerial Americanisms. WHAT WE SAY NOW: “In advance of...”
He’s very intellectual, and something of a spectacle, and sitting in The Grand he looks
A phrase used widely by News media, as in “International observers are arriving in advance of Thursday's election....”. It is virtually interchangeable with the equally ungainly “ahead of”. WHAT WE USED TO SAY: “Before”.
BARDSLEY’S
Astral Angi
This week Astral fingers your phobias
★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}
★CANCER {June 22–July 22}
★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}
★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}
★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}
★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}
★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}
★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}
★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}
★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}
★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}
★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}
Arians may discover that they suffer from bromidrosiphobia – the fear of body smells. Well no sweat, this is easily dealt with by staying home and avoiding all human contact. Taureans are often seen as the angry star sign which in turn leads to angrophobia – a fear of becoming angry. A vicious circle clearly driven by anger, fear, anger, fear, anger... Gemini’s dodgy doppleganger duplicity can be doubly dangerous when dogged by catoptrophobia – the fear of mirrors. Smash them, what’s seven years bad luck anyway?
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
Cancerian’s lack of a sense of humour may be that they get the joke but are suffering from cherophobia – the fear of gaiety. Then again, they may just be miserable gits after all. Leos could struggle with this one: galeophobia or the fear of cats. In other words, a form of self hatred. Try pretending that cats are all really dogs in girly coats – it may work. Virgos suffer from harpaxophobia – the fear of being robbed, and we all know what they are frightened of having stolen. Give it up, your loss may give a massive return.
Unbalanced Librans can suffer from dikephobia – the fear of justice. It’s a complex and irrational subject this phobia thing and Librans seem to get the thin end of this one. Scorpios tend to have myrmecophobia. Fear of ants may seem irrational to you and me but to them the idea of getting them in their pants is knicker-wettingly scary. Sagis, of course, have cenophobia – a fear of new things or ideas which, given their terrible stay at home behaviour, is hardly likely to be much of an issue.
Capricorns’ acarophobia – the fear of itching or of the insects that cause itching – can usually be attributed to an early encounter with a foul Afghan coat soaked in pachouli oil. Aquarians are so dippy that they relate their kymophobia – or fear of waves – to their watery nature, which is wrong, wrong, wrong as Aquarius is, after all, an air sign. Pisceans who suffer from ichthyophobia should consult the specialists at Bardsley’s where they will easily dispel your stupid and irrational fear of fish.
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L7 INTERVIEW 11
PARTY STARTER From grime pioneer to Newsnight pundit, Dizzee Rascal is one of our most colourful cultural icons. But, as he tells Bella Todd, his new ‘party album’ is likely to raise a few hackles
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e may be a street sharp blend of impish energy, edgy beats and cop-bating cheek, but Jeremy Paxman was right, when he interviewed the 25-year-old rapper for Newsnight on the occasion of Barack Obama’s election, to address him as ‘Mr Rascal’. Dizzee Rascal is the only grime artist to have successfully conquered the mainstream. He recently became the proud author of three consecutive number ones with the Calvin Harris collaboration ‘Dance Wiv Me’, ‘Bonkers’ and ‘Holiday’. Even Prince Harry thinks he’s a total and utter ledge, having recently greeted him backstage with a series of, er, ‘street’ handshakes. And he’s just released his poppiest album to date, fourth LP Tongue ‘n’ Cheek, which he’ll later tell us includes his first successful attempt at “writing for girls”. But Dizzee remains a colourful character. When we speak to him, he’s getting tabloid flak for a new track called ‘Road Rage’ in which he raps, “I couldn’t care less about a junction, couldn’t give a s*** about a red light’s function.” It hasn’t helped that he was cautioned in February after chasing a driver with a baseball bat...
You’ve got some surprisingly smooth sounds on the new record... “No matter what people think of me, I used to have my slow jam tapes as a kid. I was into Ja Rule, I was into R Kelly. Of course man! They’re the things you get down to with your girl, know what I mean? Don’t get me wrong, a lot of the music I’m making now I didn’t like three or four years ago. I didn’t like house music. I didn’t even know what electro house was.” Is it true you rejected previous attempts to write a track like ‘Holiday’, which is being described as your ‘Club Tropicana’, because they were too wet? “Yeh they was too wet and too s***! I hadn’t mastered writing a good track for girls yet!” Tell us about the line on ‘Leisure’: “The streets are lacking decency and tact, ‘cos there's no unity or honour among thieves and that's a fact”... "It’s just b******* innit? There’s no real code out
there. I know how it goes, being a kid on the streets. You’re friends one minute, the next you’re at each others’ throats. It’s not love and loyalty like everyone makes it out to be – it’s all a matter of convenience. It’s important for me to tell the truth.” At the risk of alienating your grass roots fans? “Sometimes people baffle me. Like the whole thing with selling out full stop. Why? Cos I started making pop music? Am I not supposed to make pop music, on my fourth album? People who never had no street music say I’m soft now. So say I continue making hardcore street music, even though everyone knows a lot of it would be through past experience. Then, ‘cos I ain’t livin’ it, they’d say it ain’t valid. It’s all confusing. So f*** everyone.” Have you left your grime routes behind? “It’s all good saying that – but look what I’ve left behind for a whole generation of kids. That’s what everyone keeps forgetting. I was at the forefront of grime, pioneering British music, and now I feel I want to make some pop music, thanks – so f****** take it!” How do feel about having Prince Harry as a fan? “I feel great about that, that from the place where I come from, now the royal family’s listening to my music and is at the side of the stage having fun. I’m happy if Prince Harry wants to join my party.” Dizzee Rascal plays the Concert Hall, Brighton Dome on 27 October. www.brightondome.org/01273 709709
You’ve not been a popular man with the tabloids lately Dizzee... “What I done now?” “Glorifying your road rage shame and encouraging your fans to drive recklessly”, according to the News Of The World “Well that f****** newspaper glorifies all sorts of things, so I ain’t worried about that! ‘Road Rage’ was already written before the last time I got arrested – it was after something else, when this police car crashed into me four days after I passed my test. Nah, there’s bound to be a bit of backlash on the album. I’m the most popular I’ve ever been. But is glorifying road rage the best they can pick out? There’s some pretty cheeky s*** on the new album!”
“I was at the forefront of grime, and now I feel I want to make some pop music, thanks – so f****** take it!”
You’ve called Tongue ‘n’ Cheek your party album... “Aside from all the the edgy, sex and violence stuff, like on ‘Bonkers’, it is primarily a fun album. I’ve used everything from techno to elements of R ‘n’ B and reggae. I think the time is calling for a party album. I’m trying to deliver a service. What I’m selling is joy. And I done a good job man! It’s one of the few albums I can sit and listen to in front of people, because it’s not so personal and depressing.” Calvin Harris is performing in Brighton on the same night as you – any plans to link up? “Yeh I’ve been thinking, I hope he’ll want to get on my stage, then maybe we could do something. The people love ‘Dance Wiv Me’ man. Because he makes catchy, funky melodic pop beats, and I’m good at simplifying my raps and putting them over there. I help him out with the snappiness of the beats as well. We just work.” You’ve said you feel a sense of peace on stage... “Oh yeh definitely, it’s like everything comes together there and then, in the middle of all that noise. A lot of people are quite shocked at how good I am live. I’ve converted a lot of people with my live shows. Most rappers ain’t that good live full stop. Why? Laziness, weed... And just not being that thoughtful.” Photo: Tim & Barry
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013_LS446_Health
10/16/09
10:30 AM
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HEA HEALTH 13
Wear it pink Zara Baker speaks to Marie Viviani from Capelli Hair & Beauty about their special event for Breast Cancer Awareness Month
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ctober is breast cancer awareness month, with the main event – ‘Wear it Pink’ day – taking place on Friday 30 October. This will see individuals and businesses hosting special events to raise funds for the breast cancer awareness campaign. One business taking part is the newly opened Capelli Hair & Beauty Salon in Portslade. “It was a family friend who unfortunately, after many treatments, had their breast removed,” says Marie Viviani, of Capelli Hair & Beauty Salon. “This had a big impact on me and it was when I become more aware of breast cancer.” Breast cancer is the most common form of cancer, accounting for nearly one in three of cancers in women. Nearly 46,000 women are diagnosed with breast cancer each year in the UK, although thankfully more woman than ever are surviving thanks to better awareness, better screening and better treatments. “This is why I became a strong believer and have registered and supported the campaign to raise money on many occasions for those with breast cancer,” says Marie. You can join the fight against breast cancer by encouraging your friends and family to check their breasts regularly.
With your help the breast cancer awareness campaign will fund world-class research to improve breast cancer diagnosis and treatment. This will support around 130 projects worth £15 million across the UK and Ireland. Last year the campaign raised £3.5 million, which helped to fund projects like Dr Ingunn Holen's award-winning research. “This research found that if two drugs were given in a particular order at specific time intervals, breast tumours were almost completely destroyed,” Marie explains. “This discovery could ultimately lead to improved chances of survival for thousands of women undergoing treatment and bring us a step closer to beating breast cancer.” Support the campaign by joining Marie, Lucy, Pari and Sian at Capelli Hair & Beauty on ‘Wear it Pink’ day – donating money to a well deserved charity. Special treatments will be on offer with great discounts on hair and beauty services for both women and men throughout the day. £2 from every treatment will be donated to the breast cancer awareness charity. Come and join the team at Capelli for free pink drinks, nibbles and pink sweets on Friday 30 October. Don’t forget to wear something pink! They look forward to seeing you at this fun and truly pampering fundraising event. To reserve your beauty or hair treatment on Friday 30 October please call 01273 422422. Capelli Hair & Beauty Salon, 109 Victoria Road Portslade. Event from 10am–8pm.
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10/15/09
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10/16/09
11:56 AM
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COVER FEATURE 15
The fantastic fox Enjoy Christmas and new year holiday dinners at Foxy’s Roast & Grill
H
ave you ever found cooking and cleaning over the Christmas and new year festive period to be a nightmare? This year, Foxy’s Roast & Grill have put together unforgettable dinners that will help you climb to the summit of the biblical Mount Sinai of festive cuisine. Instead of worrying about what to cook or how to entertain your family and guests, Foxy’s are expanding their December and Christmas Day delivery and takeaway service to solve all your cooking needs. Whether it’s just a turkey or beef roast you need, more roast potatoes and vegetables, or the entire Christmas experience, Foxy’s can deliver right to your door. Throughout December, Foxy’s are also offering Christmas lunch with all the trimmings and, to make things very special, the Foxy’s delivery and takeaway service will be in operation throughout the festive period and are proud be delivering anywhere in Brighton and Hove. The restaurant itself only has 12 seats and during a busy day, they have been known to do as many as 200 meals including the takeaway and delivery service which is proving extremely popular. The festive period starts with Halloween and Foxy’s are anticipating double that amount and advise booking early for deliveries and takeaway.
The menu includes delicious, succulent rotisserie turkey crown, best of rump, slow roasted rotisserie leg of pork, honey-glazed ham, homemade sauces and locally sourced vegetables. There will also be the Foxy’s finale dessert choices of Yule Offie, homemade mince pies with fresh cream and the now famous “secret desert”.
“Whether it’s just a turkey or beef roast you need, more roast potatoes and vegetables, or the entire Christmas experience, Foxy’s can deliver right to your door” Graham Beswick, one of the founder shareholders of Foxy’s said: “We were so busy last Christmas with the deliveries and takeaways, so this year we are taking on extra staff to help us as we anticipate being busier than ever. To assist us and avoid disappointment, we would advise people to call and book up early – over 24 hours notice will be even better!” Foxy’s Roast & Grill is one of Brighton and Hove’s most vibrant and stylish venues. It’s the place for casual, quality dining with friends as well as an all day and late-night dining and drinking experience. It’s conveniently located a stone’s throw from Hove Station at Goldstone Villas. Its design and cuisine inspiration helps to create a lively and intimate atmosphere around the open kitchen concept, as you get to watch the food being skilfully prepared by Foxy’s chefs. Foxy’s is also fully licensed and has available a takeaway and delivery service which has been hailed as being truly exceptional since the food arrives piping hot. Foxy’s can also cater for any other occasion that you might envisage. Foxy’s Brighton, 90 Goldstone Villas, Hove, BN3 3RU, 01273 776661/www.foxysbrighton.com or text FOXYS to 60777 for a mobile menu.
016_LS446_Hotlist
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10/15/09
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HOTLIST
L7 Hotlist Feeling peckish? Insatiably ravenous? These eateries and bars cater for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk Restaurants American JB’s Diner JB’s Diner is a quirky and cool nod to the classic American Diner, from the ‘50s rock’n’roll and the retro dining booths to the stars ‘n’ stripes flying proud as you eat your way through their delicious USA themed menu. The burgers are generous, fresh, tasty and available in many different varieties, the Texan BBQ and ‘Across The Border’ Mexican being firm favourites. Other top sellers include the foot-long hotdogs and rack of ribs. Add a thick dairy ice-cream shake in many flavours (including Oreo!) and we have an American diner perfect for kids and adults alike, looking out onto the very British Brighton beach. 31 Kings Road, Brighton BN1 1NR, 01273 771776, www.jbsdiner.co.uk
British & modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit, they do the best chips ever tasted and appear to have already acquired several celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk
Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256
Koba Bar and Venue Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95 and wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059
Preston Park Tavern A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix in this family-friendly pub. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk
The Restaurant At Drakes Nestled inside Brighton’s finest designer hotel – the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Awarded two coveted AA Rosettes through the skills and talents of head chef Andrew MacKenzie, Drakes offers exquisite cuisine with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Two-course menu for £28 or thee courses for £36. Five course chef’s menu £50. Private dining room available for parties of up to 12 people. The Restaurant At Drakes, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com
Chinese
wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk
French The Arrogant Frog Brasserie This beautiful seafront restaurant serves French and European food at affordable prices. The menu includes a full à la carte, £10 two-course menu and daily specials. Also live music nights and happy hour cocktails between 5 and 7pm. Bring your Odeon cinema ticket receipt for a 10 per cent discount any day and enjoy pasta and a pint for only £6.99 on Orange Wednesdays. From 5–7pm Mondays to Thursdays, receive a free bottle of house wine when two people dine from the £10 menu. On Fridays to Sundays, a free bottle of house wine for every two diners taking two courses each from the à la carte menu. 64 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NA, 01273 721488, reservations@thearrogantfrog.com
Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. There’re also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412
Check out Andrew Kay’s comprehensive Brighton, Hove and Sussex Food & Drink directory online at www.thelatest.co.uk
Gars Restaurant This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a Chimney House
Barney’s Sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058. Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!
Brighton Rocks Kemp Town’s best loved bar is delighted to offer its new scrummy freshly cooked menu with vegetarian options. Their 2-for-1 main course is available for lunch and dinner seven days a week from an outstanding £6.50. Sunday roast is a must! They have a generous selection of appreciable wines, awesome beers and wicked cocktails. Come dine in an informal friendly atmosphere. Enjoy! 6 Rock Place Kemp Town, 01273 601139 www.brightonrockspub.com
Chimney House With a stylish, cosy interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu includes locally-caught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a light lunch and glass of wine or a hearty three-course dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708, www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
The Dorset A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best people-watching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of homecooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Marys are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423
New Steine Bistro This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 /11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp
L’Église Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the two-course lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk
Indian Chaula’s Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The Lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national awardwinning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824, www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
Italian Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Fat Leo The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk
Thai Sabai Thai Gastrobar Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. With its cosy Thai cushions nestled up on a raised platform, enjoy a 2-for-1 cocktail or dishes in the afternoon from just £4.95. Sabai’s great atmosphere is made complete with an acoustic guitarist on Wednesdays and Sundays. 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place, North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabaibrighton.co.uk, bookings@sabaibrighton.co.uk
Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest Hotlist call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105
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10/15/09
2:25 PM
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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 17
Andrew Kay finds good food on his doorstep at the Kemp Brasserie
Kemp fire T
he notion that familiarity breeds contempt is not far from the truth. We so often dismiss things that are close to hand for silly reasons. I had failed to take up the option of dinner at the Kemp Brasserie and for no real reason except that it was somewhere I walk past almost every day. Then one evening Mr R and I were too tired to cook and headed to the pub where we thought we might find sustenance. On the way I spotted a board that offered a set meal for a tenner with a glass of wine. ‘Why not?’ we thought, and had a very enjoyable meal; generous, tasty and in very pleasant surroundings. So pleasant all round that we decided to return for a stab at the à la carte. So on a busy Friday evening we bagged a table and settled in for dinner. The Brasserie has a large and, it would seem, popular bar to one side, but we headed straight to our table and the easy task of deciding what to eat. I say easy because the menu, short as it is, has some favourite classics and a few surprises. I kicked off with a crab salad. Mr R is becoming concerned at my current craving for crab. It’s not the food as such but the time involved in waiting as I pick my way across it. This, however, was picked crab meat in a lovely mound that was more than generous but not daunting. It kept me pretty quiet but not for the 45 minutes that he has become accustomed to. Mr R’s layered beef, tomato and cheese salad was architectural in both style and scale and very well executed too; a robust rustic dish that put a big smile of his face. As did the main course of pasta with chicken in a spicy cream sauce. There are a few pasta dishes on the menu and I have to say that they are not only generous and well made but also very attractively priced – something we all seek in this belt tightening age. I, however, was in belt-loosening mode and ordered a steak with pepper sauce. I know, pretty simple, but so easy to get wrong. I have, over the last few years, been served some truly disgusting pepper sauces. One classic occasion it contained no pepper at all and on another so many pickled green peppercorns that it tasted like cream and disinfectant. I am pleased to report
“I was in belt-loosening mode and ordered a steak with pepper sauce”
✁
Food & Drink
that my pepper sauce at Kemp Brasserie was top notch, and by that I mean simple, classic and frankly not messed around with. The steak was equally good, blue as requested and tasty. The vegetables on the side were pretty good too, and by the end of the course I was comfortably satisfied, so much so, that I was rather loathed to change the situation by indulging in one of their puddings. Mr R, however, was having none of that and headed straight for a fat slice of banoffee pie. Now I am so tired of the arguments over the authenticity of the recipe or of its origins that I seldom choose it myself. I care little whether it has pastry or biscuit base, whether the cream is au naturel or flavoured with coffee. It’s a good pud in its multiplicity of forms and he found no fault with it at all. I decided to keep him company with some sorbet, a lighter option I hoped, but as with all the food, the portion was very generous, and pretty good too – not home-made, I suspect, but good quality. Throughout we drank copious amounts of wine but with little fear as the pricing policy here is pretty modest, and although the owner apologised for a wine list that was in disarray, we found things to go with what we were eating and by the glass rather than by the bottle. Kemp Brasserie has a good feel to it, relaxed and informal, sensibly priced but not at the expense of excellent friendly service. Nor were we driven along by a team hell bent on seeing us in and out so that they could sell the table again. In fact, we were encouraged to linger and enjoy the jolly mood of the place. The food was good and tasty, good value and certainly worthy of a repeat visit. I would also say that compared to a great many pubs, who sell food at restaurant prices but not in a restaurant setting or with full table service, the Kemp Brasserie is selling food and service for far less and in very comfortable surroundings. We finally waddled and wavered the few hundred yards home with me wondering, why oh why, had I not taken advantage of the place more often? The set menu offers, which appear on a blackboard outside and in the window, appear to be ongoing but do check. Even so, the à la carte menu is remarkably fairly priced and full of generous dishes even at the lower end of the price range. Did I like it? I did. It was tasty, filling, friendly, not overpriced and a short stagger home; all good in my book. Kemp Brasserie 24–25 St George’s Road, Brighton, BN2 1ED, 01273 626060 andrew@thelatest.co.uk
choose from a selection of our award winning cocktails! 2 for 1 upon presentation of this voucher between Sunday & Thursday. why not stay for a bite to eat? our new bar menu is now available. blanch house 17 atlingworth street brighton bn2 1pl 01273 603504 info@blanchhouse.co.uk www.blanchhouse.co.uk
016_LS440_BaliBrasserie
9/4/09
12:00 PM
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019_LS446_Stage
10/15/09
2:25 PM
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STAGE 19
L7 WHAT’S ON
> Tuesday 20 – Monday 26 October >
Stage
Small wonders Andrew Kay on our more intimate theatres
N
o one could ever complain that there is nothing to do or see in Brighton. The place is simply buzzing with performing art events from small to massive, from amateur to international. We are lucky to have several main houses, the Theatre Royal, and Brighton Dome where we can see touring productions from the very commercial to the most cutting edge. We get theatre, dance of all kinds, opera and experimental performances not only in the festival but all year round. And if that is not enough for you then London’s West End is an hour away and London’s fringe only a little more. Venues like New Venture Theatre have been around for some time now and continue year on year to produce a challenging programme of work. By challenging, I mean for the venue as well as the audiences. This season has already seen a new production of Yasmina Reza’s hit Art. Next comes Bold Girls (7–14 November), a drama of everyday life in ‘90s Belfast – not that burning buses, roadblocks and gunfire are in any way everyday. Set in a widow’s kitchen, the drama unfolds to become less a play about politics and more a play about people. Tough themes are there, of course, but the promise is that they are delivered with humour. Playwright Rona Munro was given the Evening Standard’s Most Promising Playwright Award for this back in 1991. Following this, New Venture are delivering a black comedy with a seasonal twist – or is that a seasonal comedy with a black twist? The Lying Kind (5–12 December) sees two dysfuntional policemen delivering bad news to an elderly couple on Christmas Eve. Their actions are disrupted by indecision, ineptitude and the intervention of a vigilante group. Needless to say, misunderstandings and confusion follow to make a modern day black farce. Full marks also to our smaller venues for their continuing commitment to workshops and education, including costume workshops at New Venture Theatre this autumn. For full details visit www.newventure.org.uk. For bookings call 01273 746118.
In the 2009 Brighton Festival Fringe, Upstairs At Three And Ten made a massive impact with a string of productions that had the critics singing their praises – and those of this small and imperfectly formed venue. I say imperfectly because, despite the size, the acoustic and the spill of noise from the bar below, they still manage to put together a programme of cabaret, comedy and theatre that is accomplished and impressive. Look out this autumn for Cabaret Brecht (17–21 November),six actors working through the plays and poems of the great German artist as well as his collaborative work with Kurt Weill. I only hope they get round to his work with Hanns Eisler in the future. The Bard’s Rape Of Lucrece (10–11 November) is a bold choice to stage as a one person show, but in stark surroundings one actor intends to show us both rapist and victim, and the terrible consequences. Upstairs At Three And Ten also offer chances to see previews of new work. On 24 November you can catch Claire Dowie’s new project Buy Little Buy Less Buy Nothing At All. In her last piece she turned into a man; this time she shows her inability to shop. It promises to be an hilarious evening and a great chance to see a new work in progress. For bookings call 07800 983290.
Stagelistings
original urban soundtrack. > 22 Oct, 7.30pm, £15/14
very ordinary mid-life crisis. > 22–24 Oct, 8pm, £8.50/6.50
EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Hot Mikado A sultry and sizzling take on the Gilbert & Sullivan classic. > 20–24 Oct, 7.45pm, 2.30pm, Mats Wed & Sat. £16.50–£22.50
PAVILION THEATRE, BRIGHTON DOME 01273 700747 www.brightondome.org Circus Soup Jaw-dropping skills, from silks and rope acts to acrobatics. > 25 Oct, 3pm and 8pm, £8/£5 (cons) Hoof! On-the-hoof adventures for ages 3+ with one-woman theatre innovator Niki McCretton . > 31 Oct, 11am and 2pm, £7 adult, £5 child, £22 family
> Tuesday 20 October to Monday 2 November > CONCERT HALL, BRIGHTON DOME 01273 700747 www.brightondome.org London Philharmonic Orchestra Conducted by Alexander Vedernikov with Piers Lane on the piano. > 31 Oct, 7.30pm, £32.50/10
imagination run away with them. >24 Oct, 10.30am, Minerva Theatre, £8/5
CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Spike Milligan’s Adolf Hitler: My Part In His Downfall Spike Milligan’s celebrated war memoirs are brought to the stage. > 21–24 Oct, £20/10
CRAWLEY: THE HAWTH 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Frightful First World War/Woeful Second World War Horrible Histories present two new shows bringing to life the stories of the two world wars for young audiences. > 20–24 Oct. Frightful First World War: 7pm 20 & 24 Oct; 1.30pm 21 Oct; 6pm 23 Oct; Woeful Second World War: 1.30pm 20 & 22 Oct; 10.30am 21 Oct; 7pm 22 Oct; 2.30pm 24 Oct, £9.50–13.50
CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE: MINERVA THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk This Is A That A magical, musical journey about a father and daughter who let their
EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Carcophony A fusion of street dance, acrobatics and percussion set to an
JUBILEE LIBRARY 01273 294071 Educating Rita New production of Willy Russell’s life-affirming musical to mark the 40th birthday of The Open University. Includes a Q&A before the show. Advance booking essential. > 22 Oct, 6pm, free NIGHTINGALE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 709709 www.nightingaletheatre.co.uk The Bridge The boundaries of one man’s life become blurred during his daily commute. An extraordinary story of a
THEATRE ROYAL, BRIGHTON 08448 717650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Dreamboats And Petticoats West End musical set in the rock ’n’ roll era. > 20–24 Oct, 7.45pm, Thur & Sat Mats 2.30pm, £21–£34. Rocky Horrow Show Follow squeakyclean sweethearts Brad and Janet on an adventure they’ll never forget. > 26–31 Oct, 7.45pm, Mon–Thu, 6pm & 9pm Fri & Sat, £14.50–£33.50
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MUSIC & CLUB LISTINGS
Clublistings
Musiclistings
> Tuesday 20 October to Monday 26 October >
> Tuesday 20 October to Monday 26 October >
TUESDAY 20 AUDIO New Slang. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS BRIGHTON COALITION Latin Fever. Fine salsa and Latin rhythms. 10pm–2am, £3/2 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Cheese Room. Classic tunes and disco beats. 11pm–4am, £3/free HONEY CLUB Indie Rocks. 11pm–3am, £2/1 PAVILION TAVERN Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1
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WEDNESDAY 21 AUDIO Supercherged. Dubstep hero Rusko rips out Audio’s vital organs! 11pm–2.30am, £3/1 BRIGHTON COALITION Cha Mon. Guest indie DJs, Subways. 10.30pm–3.30am, £4/2 DIGITAL The Poundance. Indie, R’n’B, electro, house, classics, dubstep and chart tracks. 11pm–3.30am, £1 LIFE Let’s Kill Disco. Playing all manner of dirty mash-ups and filthy beats. 10.30pm–2.30am, £3/1
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SATURDAY 24 AUDIO Summer Of Love. The don of free parties brings house, electro and techno. 11pm–4am, free BRIGHTON COALITION Wired. Five hours of live VJs! Another groundbreaking party with an electro and tech-house slant. 11pm–4am, £10 CONCORDE 2 Devotion. Big town bass players Hype, Hazard and Pascal lay down heavy basslines and killer drops that'll make your limbs melt and ears bleed. 11pm–4am, £10 DIGITAL BlahBlahBlah. Pumping, timeless housebeats from Style of Eye and Riva Starr. 11pm–4am, £7.50 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Buddha Soul. With Juice FM’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10 HONEY CLUB Sevensins. Electro, trance and house with guests. 10.30pm–5am, £10/8 KOMEDIA DDRR is 11! With DJ Pete Wiggs. Spinning a mix of ’60s femme pop, soul sirens, sister funk and chicks with licks. 11pm, £7/5 LIFE Hold Up. Unpretentious Indie night. 11pm–4am, £5 NEW HERO It is Still 1985. Alternative ’80s night full of adventurous tunes! 10pm, £3 OCEAN ROOMS White Night Festival. Celebrate the winter solstice with live bands, DJs and visual installations! 11pm, free PO NA NA Silk. R’n’B, funky house, commercial. 10pm–3am, £10/5 VOLKS Frequency. Massive bargain bass session with RAM records, Culture Shock plus J Majik. 11pm–6am, free
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THURSDAY 22 BRIGHTON COALITION Secret Discotheque. Retro disco, ‘80s pop, hair metal, TV theme tunes. 10pm–3am, £3/2 NUS DIGITAL Thursday Club. The house/club duo from London, The Count & Sinden, rock into town with Kool Kids Stand Up in tow. It’ll wobble, it’ll drop, it’ll be massive! 11pm–3am, £8 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE BangBang. Playing the hippest hip-hop, the freshest dup step and banging D’n’B! 11pm–5am, £1 b4 12am LIFE Club NME. Live NME bands and Brighton DJs. 10.30pm–3am, £2/1 PO NA NA Pick’n’Mix. You pick it ’n’ they’ll mix it. 10.30pm–3am, £1
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FRIDAY 23 AUDIO Square Roots. With Starkey, Oxide & Neutrino, Oneman. 11pm–4am, £4/2 BRIGHTON COALITION We Made You. The ‘Ibiza hangover’ blasting funky electro house music from Will Gold. 10.30pm–4am, £6 b4 12 CONCORDE 2 Roots Garden 14th Birthday. Featuring Nations Vibration full heavy weight sound system. 11pm–4am, £10 ENGINE ROOMS Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock alternative. 11pm–3am, £5/3 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Twisted Disco Love. Funky, sexy, fresh, sounds for your listening pleasure. 11pm, £5/3 KOMEDIA Stone To the Bone. ’70s Motown, psychedelic soul and funk. 11pm, £5 LIFE Daft Life. Alt.dance, indie-leaning house and firing electro. 10pm–3am, £4/2 OCEAN ROOMS Bass and Beats. Got anything better to do this Friday? 11pm–4am, free PO NA NA Ice Box. Blowing you sideways with awesome funk, soul, house and dance floor cutz. 10pm–3am, £6/5
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THE HANBURY CLUB Mojo To GoGo. Top of the bill for swinging ’60s psychedelia, soul, beat, boogaloo, ska and garage. 7pm–2am, £5/4 VOLKS Future Dub. 11pm, £6/5
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TUESDAY 20 Bad Lieutenant Ex-New Order men’s new band. Digital, 7.30pm, £18.50 Battle Of The Bands The Mighty Rivals and five other bands battle it out. Hector’s House, 7pm–1am, £4 Earl Gaines With The Catfish Kings Grammy-winning Nashville bluesman. Komedia, 8pm, £10 Epic 45 + Worriedaboutsatan + Codes In The Clouds Electronica-tinged post-rock. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £tbc Nerina Pallot The acclaimed singer-songwriter returns with a third album. Komedia, 8pm, £15 Orquestra Buena Vista Social Club The Cuban musical giants present a career retrospective performance. Brighton Dome 8pm, £28.50 Puncture Kit The Brightonian D’n’B purveyors record their ne EP. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, invite only
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DIGITAL Deadmau5. Epic electro-house from this phenomenal deceased rodent! 10pm–3am, SOLD OUT HONEY CLUB Sundelicious. House and soulful beats. 10pm, £2/1 LIFE Maxxi Soundsystem. Full on party soundsystem. 6pm, free.
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MONDAY 26 AUDIO Glue. Sticking hip-hop to dancehall, garage to dubstep and filthy cheap drinks! 11pm–3am, £3/2 BRIGHTON COALITION Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free DIGITAL Deadmau5. See Sun. 10pm–3am, SOLD OUT HONEY CLUB Detention. Weekly student trash bash 10.30pm–3.30am, £3/free Jaime Pettit
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SATURDAY 24
WEDNESDAY 21 Achilles Experimental music fusing traditional movements with modern beats. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £3 Ben Taylor Folk singer-songwriter and son of legends James Taylor and Carly Simon. Komedia, 8pm, £12 Kate Walsh Delicate folk from this Essex-born Brighton-bred singer-songwriter Hanbury Club, 8pm, £10 Puncture Kit The Brightonian D’n’B type records his new EP. Concorde 2, 10am–11pm, invite only The Swingle Sisters Versatile a cappella pop covers. Komedia, 8pm, £15
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THURSDAY 22 Brendan Benson + Cory Chisel & The Wandering Sons Acclaimed cult US singer-songwriter and key member of The Raconteurs. Komedia, 8pm, £11 Dirty Bingo vs Loud & Quiet: Crocodiles + Cold Pumas + La La Vasquez Headlined by ’80s-invoking garage rockers Crocodiles. Audio, 8pm, £6 The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster Brighton’s very finest gothy psychobilly geniuses make a long overdue comeback. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £tbc Little Boots The electro-pop diva and one of the year's biggest success stories returns. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £10 Super U Cornwall's finest launch their new album What News From Cornwall? Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5
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Camera Obscura + Magic Arm Glaswegian retropopsters not dissimilar to Belle and Sebastian. Komedia, 8pm, £12 DJ Yoda Genre-splicing acclaimed DJ and master remixer. Concorde 2, 7pm, £10 End Of Level Baddie + WanderDown + Welfare Mothers Decent local indie rockers headline tonight’s show. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc Fred Eaglesmith Canadian Americana singer-songwriter a little reminiscent of his countryman, Neil Young. Prince Albert, 7.30pm, £tbc Taint + Alabaster Suns + Enos + Skulldozer Pretty enjoyable heavy-riffing Welsh hardcore types. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £8 Tom Jones The leather-pants wearing lady's man somehow STILL touring. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £50/45
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FRIDAY 23 Alaska In Winter + Spacenoid US/German electro classiness. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £tbc
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Bloc Party + Grammatics Popular East London indie-rock arena fillers. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £22.50 Oxjam: Funked Up Funk And Soul Night With The Grand Majestic + The Impellers Live funk bands play in aid of Oxfam’s climate change campaign. Latest Music Bar, 7pm, £5 The Hot Rats + Gloria Cycles + The Half Sisters Supergrass side-project with able support from decent Brighton acts. Brighton Coalition, 7.30pm,£7
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SUNDAY 25 Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Featuring Rossini’s ‘Italian Girl in Algiers’, Mendelssohn’s ‘Concerto for Violin and Piano in D minor At 50 series Short Work’ and Bizet’s ‘Symphony No.1 in C major’. Brighton Dome, 2.45pm, £8–32 The Music Of Hedwig And The Angry Inch Tribute to the cult classic rock musical with drag performance and full live band. Latest Music Bar, 8pm,£6.50
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MONDAY 26 Biffy Clyro Perhaps British heavy(ish) rock’s best band play their biggest ever Brighton show. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £16.50 Breakthrough With Rough Trade Showcase of new and unsigned local acts. Latest Music Bar, 8pm,£5/4 Emily Barker And The Red Clay Halo Dark, polished folk from Down Under. Prince Albert, 7.30pm,£tbc Indigo Girls Eighties rock veterans return. Concorde 2, 7.30pm,£20 Portugal. The Man Solid country-influenced pop-rock. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £tbc Nick Aldwinckle
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tues 20 oct
thurs 22 oct
sat 24 oct
cafe scientifique exciting forum for debating science 7.30pm £2
super u imaginative indie folk+pick up a free super u album 8pm £5
oxjam in aid of oxfam. grand majestic+the impellers 7pm £6
sun 25 oct fri 23 oct wed 21 oct upstairs oxjam come and do the lindy hop, jive+salsa hosted by sussex swing 7pm £5 downstairs achillies post rock outfit fresh out of bestival 8pm £3
manchester street, brighton tel.
private party to book your private party, wedding or anniversary contact angi on 01273 687 171 or email bookings@thelatest.co.uk
01273 687171
hedwig and the angry inch sex, drag, and rock and roll with a live band 8pm £6.50
mon 26 oct breakthrough with rough trade the best breaking acts around+djs 8pm £5/4nus
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
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MUSIC NEWS 21
Musichighlights
Music
> Tuesday 20 October to Monday 26 October >
Joglaresa
With Jeff Hemmings
KATE WALSH Stunning Brighton-based singer songwriter who’s made it via independent routes and a less-than-happy brief flirtation with a major. Third album, Light & Dark, once again features her sweetly fragile voice that speaks disarmingly about relationships, hopes and dreams. There’s an edge to Walsh though: beneath the soft exterior, there’s torment, angst and a little bit of anger. Great! Wednesday 21 October, Hanbury Club
EIGHTIES MATCHBOX B-LINE DISASTER Great Brighton psycho-billy goth rockers who were perhaps a little bit too early in the game to capitalise on the current success of The Horrors. Still, they are a fantastically compelling live act especially if you like it loud, dirty, and punkish. And yet, they are some of the nicest people you’ll ever meet... Thursday 22 October, Engine Room
THE HOT RATS
TIME TRAVELLERS
Danny Goffey and Gaz Coombes from Supergrass have a new covers band! Taking their musical cues from the late ’60s rock landscape that includes Rolling Stones, The Small Faces and Velvet Underground, they’ve added in a hint of punk and a raucous rock’n’roll vibe. Saturday 24 October, Coalition
Collaborators cross cultures – and centuries – as the Brighton Early Music Festival returns this week
INDIGO GIRLS
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Consistently popular and revered American folk rock duo made up of Amy Ray and Emily Saliers. Their 11th album Poseidon And The Bitter Bug was released earlier in the year, their first fully independent release since they started out back in the mid ’80s. Their overt championing of political and environmental causes has helped them maintain a strong bond with audiences around the globe. Monday 26 October, Concorde 2
Indigo Girls
To advertise here costs only £20
ast meets West is the theme for this year’s Brighton Early Music Festival, an event that refuses to be pigeonholed. Featuring many exciting names in world and early music and including several collaborations across the centuries and between Western classical music and musical traditions from China, India, the Middle East and eastern Europe, there are 21 events this year – three of which will be broadcast by Radio 3. Clare Norburn and Deborah Roberts are cofounders of the festival. “Deborah and I were involved with our groups and promoting events in the Brighton area,” Clare says. “She just casually remarked that maybe we should get together and organise a festival, which we formalised over a coffee. From there it’s grown to be the second biggest in the country. Over 4,000 people attended last year.” So, what exactly is ‘early music’? “It’s hard to define, but I would say it’s about looking at the roots of music – not just classical, but also folk, and world music. It’s about trying to create the original sounds that the composers were intending. Of course, the style of performing has changed over the centuries, as has the singing itself and the instruments, but we do try and
The Art of Making Books Sunday Workshop at Kemptown Bookshop 1 November 2009 2–5pm An introductory workshop showing how to make your own book, using simple binding techniques as well as exploring the creative possibilities of the book form and structure.
Call Rachel Bryant now!
01273 818150 ext 105
Eclipse recreate the sounds the composers originally intended.” Set up in 2003, the Brighton Early Music Festival is second only to York’s in size and importance. One of the keys to its success is the open-armed approach to audiences. “Our hallmark is looking at the links between folk, jazz, classical and world music. The collaborative concerts in the festival are really good entry points for those who may be put off by the idea of classical music.” Their desire to spread the word will see them play a significant role in this week’s White Night (Saturday 24 October), for which ensembles will perform around the city for free from 10pm. So, if you’re curious as what ‘early music’ is, here’s an opportunity to dip you toes in the water before taking the plunge in the main festival. Brighton Early Music Festival, 23 October–8 November. www.bremf.org.uk
10 places available Cost: £30, £24 concs For further info: Call into shop or
Tel: 01273 682110 www.kemptownbookshop.co.uk 91 St Georges Road, Kemp Town, BN2 1EE
ONLY
PER PERSON
• From 2 people • Vegetarian available
6th Anniversary MURASAKI
01273 326231
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EVENTS | ART
Eventspreview
Arthighlights
> Tuesday 20 October to Monday 26 Ocotober >
> Tuesday 20 October to Monday 26 October >
Night & Day Two photographers with two different interpretations of the tree, a prolific symbol of nature. Ben Gold explores the spiritual importance of trees, creating ethereal images, while Jean-Luc Brouard, whose work is shot in a nocturnal setting, uses a mix of natural and artificial lighting to present the tree in a halfway stage between the natural and unnatural. Night & Day: A Journey Through Trees, Crane Kalman, 01273 697096. Until 25 October.
Drawn From Ditchling WHITE NIGHT FESTIVAL
Welcome the winter and celebrate the clocks going back with a magical night of fun and festivities, fortune and mystery with the second White Night festival – Brighton’s all-night cultural extravaganza. Marking the end of the British Summer Time on Saturday 24 October/Sunday 25 October 2009, our city’s historic streets, squares and venues will come alive with a fantastic array of nocturnal events, trails and mind-bending installations. With free entrance to a whole host of activities, many running until dawn, visitors can take full advantage of that all-important extra hour amid the heady atmosphere of England’s most creative city-by-the-sea. With the theme of ‘fortune’ running throughout the festival, visitors are invited to use their mobile phones to take part in a movie treasure trail; experience a virtual cycle tour through the city; visit the many exhibitions, workshops and light shows, all before enjoying the dawn chorus on the seafront. Taking in life drawing classes, midnight fashion shows and ‘dive-in movies’ at the city’s swimming pool, White Night’s unique programme of events caters for every taste. White Night Festival, Saturday 24–Sunday 25 October, various venues. For further information log on to www.whitenightnuitblanche.com
Events listings WEDNESDAY 21
SATURDAY 24
Transition Talk: Food Security: Why We Need A Plan By Patrick Holden An illuminating talk by one of the country's most knowledgeable food experts and an accomplished public speaker. Brighthelm Centre, North Road Brighton, 7.30–10pm, £4 on the door
Bert’s Black History Bus As part of Black History Month, a free bus tour of local black history landmarks. Departs from Jubilee Library, 11am–1pm. Tour is free but must be pre-booked. Please call 01273 234835 or email info@black-history.org.uk
THURSDAY 22
SUNDAY 25
Meditation: The Power To Transform Our Mind, Life And World Discover your extraordinary power of transformation with Buddha's profound yet simple methods of meditation. Bodhisattva Centre, 3 Lansdowne Rd, Hove. 7.30–9pm £5, 01273 732917 . www.meditateinbrighton.com
‘Alien’ 30th anniversay event Following a screening of the science fiction classic, the film’s editor Terry Rawlings and the costume designer John Mollo will be interviewed by Space presenter Lisa Holloway. Duke Of York’s,. 6.20pm. £7.20 www.thespace.me.uk
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Paintings, caricatures, drawings, photographs, word and film, all drawn from Ditchling Museum’s collection, Portraits from A Sussex Village, celebrating the lives of Ditchling people and the artists who lived and worked there. Several works from the famous artist Eric Gill are also featured, including a drawing of a local man, John Nye, who died in 1916 at the Somme. The drawing was begun in 1914, and then finished in 1917. Drawn From Ditchling: Portraits From A Sussex Village, Ditchling Museum, 01273 844744. Until 13 December
White Night Festival Opening its doors until 8am on 24/25 October as part of White Night Festival, The Prescription Art Gallery boasts a full program of events including A Wheel of Fortune, in conjunction with local artist Pinky, where various prizes can be won with a spin of Pinky’s technicolour wheel. Parisian street artists Shaka and Nosbe will also be creating live pieces through the night, before an auction takes place with the proceeds going to local arts projects. White Night, Prescription Art Gallery, Church Street, Brighton, 07941 385715. 24/25 October
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Matthew Houlding Paying homage to the utopian zeal of modern architecture and Hockney’s ‘A Bigger Splash’ painting in particular, Matthew Houlding’s sculptures and collages draw on structuralist and formalist ideas of architectural design. Materials used in his art include cardboard boxes, garden fencing and kitchen work tops. Matthew Houlding: Sons Of Pioneers, De La Warr Pavilion, Bexhill-on-Sea, 01424 229111. Until 3 January 2010
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COMEDY | FILM 23
Comedypreview > Tuesday 20 October to Monday 26 October >
STEPHEN K AMOS: THE FEELGOOD FACTOR After a very successful tour last year with Find The Funny, the gregarious and truly delightful comic Stephen K Amos returns with another joyspreading show – The Feelgood Factor, sandwiched in before his brand new BBC2 series, set to film early next year. But what makes this show different from the last? “I’ll describe it to you. Find The Funny was about finding the funny in every situation – everything that can possibly be funny you should find the funny in. The Feelgood Factor is a kind of an antidote to all the bad things that are happening to us at the moment: the credit crisis, swine flu; all these terrible things that are sent to make us feel quite grotty and miserable. So instead of The X Factor it’s The Feelgood Factor. I want people to feel good and I want to remind them of times in their lives when they just felt good. Little things. Even things from childhood. “I’m very blessed, I’m very humbled by all the stuff that has been going on in the last year. And I intend to keep working hard to ensure that I’m still out gigging in the next year. What would be really nice is that the TV show would come out; there's already talk about two sitcoms too – both of them with the BBC which I have a meeting about next week. It would be quite nice to have both of those things confirmed. “Or, may I be bold enough to say, I’d like to be invited to Hollywood to have a meeting with Steven Speilberg and a couple of the greats for the remake of The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air.” Stephen K Amos: The Feelgood Factor, Sunday 25 October, Assembly Hall, Worthing, 7.30pm, £16.50. His debut DVD Stephen K Amos: Find The Funny is out 23 November.
Comedy listings TUESDAY 20 Stewart Lee: If You Prefer A Milder Comedian, Please Ask For One Following his acclaimed BBC TV show and award-winning UK tour, Lee returns with a furiously downbeat set inspired by an altercation in a High Street coffee chain. Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 7.30pm, £15/13 Adam Hills: Inflatable Australia's triple Perrier nominee returns with a brand new hour of world-class stand-up comedy. Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 9.30pm, £14/12
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WEDNESDAY 21 Al Murray: The Pub Landlord’s Beautiful British Tour The Pub Landlord has extended time at the bar! The Guv’nor once again hits the road. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 8pm, £25 Idiots of Ants: This Is War The Ants are back with their unique blend of past-paced sketch comedy. Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome, 9.15pm, £12/10 Off The Cuff Brighton’s improvisers bring you an evening of the most exciting, unpredictable and frequently just plain mental comedy your senses will experience. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £7/5
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THURSDAY 22 Brian Gittins and Friends Brian Gittins, 42, is a roadside café owner from Pyecombe. Every month, Brian and his partner in crime, Angelos Eppethemiu, introduce two acts they've met on the circuit and somehow co-opted to perform. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £8/6. Laura Solon: Rabbit Faced Soup Story Perrier-award winner, star of ITV1’s Al Murray’s
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FRIDAY 23 Best Of The Fest A guaranteed night of unabashed showing off and big laughs. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 8pm, £16/13/12 Red Brick Comedy Club Some of the finest, funniest late-night stand-up comedy in town, featuring some of the best and most respected comics in the country, including Zoe Lyons. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 10pm, £10/7.50 Comedy Station A FREE night of comedy compered by the excellent Julie Jepson including some of the best local comics on the new act circuit and top class healdliner NIck Helm. Station pub, Hove, 7.30pm, free
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SATURDAY 24 Jon Richardson For an evening of guaranteed laughs, join Jon as he gets life’s idiosyncrasies off his chest in his grumpy, yet uniquely charming, northern style. Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 9.30pm, £13/12 Reginald D Hunter – The Only Apple In The Garden Of Eden And Niggas One of the most engaging and provocative stand-up comics working in the UK, returns with his new show. Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome, 7.30pm, £14/12 Sketchatron Legendary afternoon of the very, very best in sketch with Pappy’s Fun Club, Clever Peter and The Penny Dreadfuls. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 5pm & 8pm, £10/7.50
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Supported by
FILMS SHOWING THIS WEEK 01273 626261
0871 224 4007
0871 200 2000 www.cineworld.co.uk
www.picturehouses.co.uk
www.odeon.co.uk
01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk
TUESDAY 20
TUESDAY 20
TUESDAY 20
TUESDAY 20
Couples Retreat (15) 11.45, 2.30, 5.15, 8.15 District 9 (15) 1.15 Fame (PG) 11.45, 2.45, 5.00, 7.45 Halloween 2 (18) 16.15 The Invention Of Lying (12A) 1.00, 3.30, 6.15, 8.45 The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 12.00, 2.45, 5.45, 8.30 Looking for Eric (15) 9.30 Up 3D (U) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 Up 2D (U) 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 Zombieland (15) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.15
The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 3.40, 9.00 Julie & Julia (12A) (Silver Screen) 11.00 Thirst (18) 1.15, 6.20
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 6.00 Couples Retreat (15) 1.00, 3.40, 6.15, 8.50 Fame (PG) 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10 The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 12.10, 3.00, 5.50, 8.40 The Invention Of Lying (12A) 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 Love Happens (12A) 8.30 Up 3D (U) 12.20, 1.10, 1.30, 2.50, 3.30, 4.00, 5.30, 6.30, 8.00, 9.00 Zomebieland (15) 12.30, 2.40, 5.00, 7.15, 9.30
UP (U) 4.30, 7.00
WEDNESDAY 21 Couples retreat (15) 11.45, 2.30, 5.15, 8.15 District 9 (15) 1.15, 6.45 Fame (PG) 11.45, 2.45, 5.00, 7.45 Halloween 2 (18) 4.15, 9.30 The Invention Of Lying (12A) 1.00, 3.30, 6.15, 8.45 The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 12.00, 2.45, 5.45, 8.30 Up 3D (U) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 Up 2D (U) 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 Zombieland (15) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.15
THURSDAY 22 Couples Retreat (15) 11.45, 2.30, 5.15, 8.15 District 9 (15) 1.15, 6.45 Fame (PG) 11.45, 2.45, 5.00, 7.45 Halloween 2 (18) 4.15, 9.30 The Invention Of Lying (12A) 3.30, 6.15, 8.45 The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 12.00, 2.45, 5.45, 8.30 My Sister’s Keeper (12A) 10.30 Up 3D (U) 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 Up 2D (U) 12.30, 3.00, 5.30, 8.00 Zombieland (15) 2.00, 4.30, 7.00, 9.15
Films showing Friday 23–Monday 26 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
WEDNESDAY 21 Julie & Julia (12A) 11.00 (Big Scream), 18.30 The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 3.40, 9.00 Thirst (18) 1.15
THURSDAY 22 The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 3.40, 9.00 Thirst (18) 13.15, 18.20
FRIDAY 23 The Cove (12A) 18.30 Ghostbusters (PG) (Late show) 11.00
SATURDAY 24 Aida (N/A) 18.00 All Tomorrow’s Parties (CFF-15) (Late Show) 11.59 The Cove (12A) 1.30 Meet The Robinsons (15) (Kids’ Club) 11.00
SUNDAY 25 Alien (18) 6.00 The Cove (12A) 1.30 The Hurt Locker (15) 3.30
MONDAY 26 The Cove (12A) 6.30
WEDNESDAY 21 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 6.00 Couples Retreat (15) 1.00, 3.40, 6.15, 8.50 Fame (PG) 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10 The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 12.10, 3.00, 5.50, 8.40 The Invention Of Lying (12A) 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 Love Happens (12A) 8.30 Up 3D (U) 12.20, 1.10, 1.30, 2.50, 3.30, 4.00, 5.30, 6.30, 8.00, 9.00 Zombieland (15) 12.30, 2.40, 5.00, 7.15, 9.30
WEDNESDAY 21 UP (U) 1.30, 4.30, 7.00
THURSDAY 22 UP (U) 4.30, 7.00
FRIDAY 23 UP (U) 1.30, 4.30
SATURDAY 24 UP (U) 10.15, 1.30, 4.30
SUNDAY 25 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 3.45
MONDAY 26 All Abut Eve (U) 2.00 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 1.00, 3.45, 6.30
THURSDAY 22 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 6.00 Couples Retreat (15) 1.00, 3.40, 6.15, 8.50 Fame (PG) 1.40, 4.10, 6.40, 9.10 The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 12.10, 3.00, 5.50, 8.40 The Invention Of Lying (12A) 12.00, 2.20, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 Love Happens (12A) 8.30 Up 3D (U) 12.20, 1.10, 1.30, 2.50, 3.30, 4.00, 5.30, 6.30, 8.00, 9.00 Zombieland (15) 12.30, 2.40, 5.00, 7.15, 9.30
Films showing Friday 23–Monday 26 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
Couples Retreat
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10/15/09
11:21 AM
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GAY LISTINGS
Gaylistings > Tuesday 20 October to Monday 26 October > TUESDAY 20 BRIGHTON TAVERN Games Games Games. 12pm, free CHARLES STREET BAR Two’s Company. Double dose of cabaret with Maisie Trollette and Miss Jason. 9pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Killer Pool. 9pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free REVENGE Sound As A Pound. Deck Heroine LadyBex throws out ‘80s, ‘90s, ‘00s, electro, pop, dance and cheese. Plus a hefty raffle prize! 10.30pm, £1 THE BASEMENT Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free
> > > > > >
WEDNESDAY 21 AMSTERDAM Student Karaoke. 8pm, free LEGENDS Gabbi’s Fun and Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free MARLBOROUGH Student Night. Can’t cook? Won’t cook? Drink and pizza promos all night! 6pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Karaoke Star 2009 – 1st prize £150. Belt out your favourite song. 9.15pm, free R-BAR The Midweek Shuffle. Brighton’s hottest new DJ, Zack Hadley rocks R-Bar with cheesy pop, chart, ‘90s dance and club. 12pm–2am REVENGE Random. Spanking new night of live bands and DJs. 10.30pm, £3 THE BASEMENT Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free
> > > > > > >
THURSDAY 22 CHARLES STREET BAR Mad Cow XL – My Cow Is On Fire. Funky house across two floors. Plus cheap as Primark Pants drinks deals! 8pm–3am, £1 (goes to charity) DOCTOR BRIGHTONS DJ Competition. Let the deck-dueling commence as undiscovered DJ talent battle for your votes! 1pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Open Mic Night. Hosted by Lucy Checkley. 9pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-BAR Pre-Girls on Top Party. Richard Jones sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Girls On Top. Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes. 10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30 with passes, £5/4 after THE BASEMENT DLite. Regular guest DJs lay down commercial house tracks. 11pm–4am, free
> > > > > > >
FRIDAY 23 CHARLES STREET BAR Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies. Bar open 11am, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Flauncy Friday. Filthy funky dance and house. 9.30pm–2am, free GHETTO Popstarz. Indie. 10pm, free b4 11pm LEGENDS Pre-Celebration. Pure pop. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Girl’s Night. 8pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Camp Attack + Karaoke.
> > > > > >
Definitive handbag, commercial and camp tunes with DJ Andy B. 9pm, free R-BAR Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE X Factor Fridays. Raise your hands as each X Factor finalist takes a turn to cause a Revenge ruckus! 10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after THE BASEMENT Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Double the DJ power with Peter Castle playing girly pop and handbag tracks all night long. 11pm–4am, free
> > > >
SATURDAY 24 AMSTERDAM Sun Downers + Late Night Bar. The best beach house music in town. 8pm–5am, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Mardi Gras. HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3. LEGENDS Pre-Ignition. DJs from 7pm. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Queen Jo at the Marly offers fab funky house. 9pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Fonda Cox + Karaoke. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30–5.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin til midnite! Bar open Bar open 12pm, free R-BAR Kinky Classics. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous. Bar open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Kinky Dangerous 4th Birthday White Party. Six top DJs, one live PA, two floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 6.5 hours of Birthday frolics 10.30pm–6am, £7/3 THE BASEMENT Ignition. With the funky house and chart remix sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free THE PV AT THE JURY’S OUT Booty Call. Special guest DJ The Fondue Inferno spins some body shakin' Disco Funk,’ 80s, ‘90s & ‘00s. 12pm, free THE ZONE Presents... Sally Vate. 9.30pm, free
> > > > > > > > > >
SUNDAY 25 AMSTERDAM Sunday Lunch and Connie’s Karaoke. Karaoke from 8pm. 12pm–1am, free LEGENDS Sunday Cabaret with Lucinda Lashes. 3.15pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Sunday Quiz. With your host, Cat. 7pm, £1 entry QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Tiffany Wells + Betty’s Karaoke. 12pm, free R-BAR Sublime Sundays and Barmy Bingo. 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Charity fundraiser for Pride. 10.30pm–4am, Donations on the door THE BASEMENT Fever. Disco and pop remixes. 11pm–4am, free
> > > > > > >
MONDAY 26 CHARLES STREET CLUB Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin all the best party tracks. 10pm–2am, £1.50 LEGENDS Dave Lynn and Friends. Hysterical night of cabaret from 9.30pm. 11am–5am, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Trans Night. Hosted with the Clare Project. 8.30pm, free R-BAR Miss Jason’s Mad House. Regular cabaret night plus a Wii Zone and free pool! 10pm, free QUEENS ARMS Deal or No Deal Drinks + Karaoke. 8pm–1am, free THE BASEMENT Chic. Decades of delicious disco anthems. 11pm–4am, free
> > > > > >
025_LS446_reviews
10/16/09
9:50 AM
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REVIEWS
25
L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk Stephen Grant
kaleidoscopic set of beautiful music. In support, Yeasayer evoked all sorts of comparisons, from the singer's Ian Curtis impressions to a variety of world music influences, which all seemed to be effortlessly and psychedelically brought together. Dome Concert Hall, 2 October ✪✪✪✪✪ Rob Burdick
BANE
THE BIG PINK
One-man shows inspire ideas of selfindulgent autobiographical pieces. Bane blew this myth out of the water. Writer and actor Joe Bone was fantastic as the gumshoe hard man in this film noir parody which took us from a shoot-up to the opera and on to one of the funniest and most unique renditions of a Johnny Cash song ever. Taking on all parts, he wasn’t afraid to take his story into tangents, with a decoy character luring away a hitman from his real target, leading the knowing audience into howls of laughter as his doom approached. Crisp, beautifully executed, gripping and thoroughly entertaining. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8 October ✪✪✪✪✪ Victoria Nangle
Support slots with The Pixies and Muse and masses of hype left these London electro-rockers with much to live up to. But the band’s broad spectrum of influences, from My Bloody Valentine shoegaze to industrial metal, came across spectacularly. Initially a trio weaving magisterial squalling soundscapes, they now have an expanded line-up, which lends a new, accessible ‘oomph’ to striking debut A Brief History Of Love. Though brimming with pop appeal, The Big Pink’s charm is that there’s no whiff of compromise. Hard edges were amplified, jagged as ever, while future anthems ‘Tonight’ and ‘Dominos’ brought the house down with a glorious thump, bridging credibility and commercial success. Digital, 9 October ✪✪✪✪✪ Nick Aldwinckle
THE HYPOCHONDRIAC English Touring Theatre and Roger McGough have restored my faith in theatre. I see plenty, much of it good, but this translation of Moliere’s comedy filled me with an excitement that I had not felt since going to Liverpool Everyman as a teenager. No surprise that this was done with the Everyman, then. A joyous verse script filled with silliness and insight proved McGough to be more than worthy of his acclaim. A clever but simple set and clean-lined period costumes gave room for the company and the words to take the lead, and how they did. Brilliant performances from all, great diction, clarity of direction and sparkling humour made this an evening of theatre to remember. Ensemble work at its very best. Theatre Royal, 7 October ✪✪✪✪✪ Andrew Kay
BAT FOR LASHES + YEASAYER Natasha Khan of Bat for Lashes returned to her hometown of Brighton with a new band to play from second album Two Suns. The double Mercury-nominated singer has a fantastic voice, but she still seems quite modest on stage. Dark and atmospheric lighting set the tone for an emotionally
RADU LUPU A giant of a man strode onto the stage and sat at the piano and the hall fell silent. From then on, through the three works by Janacek, Beethoven and Schubert, Radu Lupu proved that he is in fact a musical giant. One minute he was thunderously masterful, striding across the keyboard like an army going to war. The next he danced over the keys with the gaiety of a young child. Dark and light, total control: he had us mesmerised. In the Schubert, his left hand took the strong role while his right flitted delicately, or was it the other way round? No matter, this was a performance of breathtaking beauty. Dome Concert Hall, 3 October ✪✪✪✪✪ Andrew Kay
Do you disagree with our verdict on one of these shows? comment@thelatest.co.uk
PICK ’N’ MIX BEST OF THE FEST Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 9 October ✪✪✪✪✪
S
trictly speaking, the Magners Brighton Comedy Festival had kicked off the night before with Alan Carr’s Gala for the Sussex Beacon. But this opening Best Of The Fest took a taste and a dollop from five different shows coming up and let us find the morsel that suited each of us best. This also meant that, as you can only please all of the people some of the time, we got acts that only fell well with some sections of the audience and others that went down a treat with hitherto quiet pockets. Compering the night was Terry Alderton, whose show was coming up but not as a part of the Festival – something he appeared unaware of. With bags of energy and a high likeability factor, though, he must have sold his tickets well. Opening was local favourite Stephen Grant. Familiar with his audience, in his hometown Stephen played the patter well – mixing material from his
forthcoming show that covered the wonderful uniqueness of Brighton with contrasting considerations on the Big Smoke. Great gags and some new ones thrown in for Krater regulars who see him every week. Next was young Scotsman Kevin Bridges, with a light touch but a steady hand marking his comedic strokes, he had a likeable confidence and an everyman appeal that tipped him to go far. Andrew Lawrence took centre stage after the break, with abrasive comedy that attacked himself as well as all those around him, delving into depths that didn’t necessarily sit so well in such illustrious surroundings. Finally Ivan Brackenbury closed the night with his darkly funny hospital radio character, hitting the spot you never thought you had of naughty but fun humour. A mixed bag but with plenty of laughs to go around. Victoria Nangle
>Latest 7 is expanding its live reviews team… ...and we are on the look out for volunteers. Do you have a way with words, a free evening or two and a passion for theatre, music, comedy or dance? Send two 100 word samples of your reviewing style to bella@thelatest.co.uk
026_LS446_Sports/TV_Column
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10/16/09
12:47 PM
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L7 TV
SPORT | TV
L7 Sport
YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE
20–26 OCTOBER
With Marathon Mary
Telly Talk
Sweet charity
With Victoria Nangle
As a fundraising runner, how do you decide which cause should get your dosh?
W
Pic: Hannah Brackenbury
ithout doubt the toughest part so far of preparing for the Brighton Marathon has been deciding which charity to run for. During this gruelling, labour-intensive process, I have been trying to get my head around three key questions. Firstly, which of the gazillions of charities currently in dire need of funds is most desperate for them? This has been a critical year for the voluntary sector. Charities have had to cut staff, salaries and services because of the recession. Sadly, at a time when they are most needed, many organisations have not been able to keep up with demand. Secondly, what charities mean the most to me? If I do manage to run the whole course, I’m going to need a bloody good reason to get me through those final, tricky, 16.2 miles... Lastly, what charity will look best on my running vest? Let’s face it, this is Brighton, and how you look on race day (sweaty red face notwithstanding) is an important point. I am bound to be seen by dozens of people I know, and while I will probably be a gasping wreck from the collar up, I want to have a snazzy running outfit emblazoned with the name of a charity that will get me some cheering on my way round. I’m sure the Bladder and Bowel Foundation do a great job, but I bet they don’t get many people setting up JustGiving pages for them. So, taking these things into account, I’ve decided I’m going to run the marathon for Stonewall, the lesbian, gay and bisexual campaigning charity, and, as a warm-up, I will run the Sussex Beacon Half Marathon on 21 February for the Sussex Beacon, the Aids and HIV treatment centre. Both charities have had a direct influence on my life or the lives of my friends. Over the years Sussex Beacon has given brilliant care to loads of people I’m fond of, and I love that it looks more like a Swedish spa hotel than a hospital. Without Stonewall, I wouldn’t even be able to think about one day getting married, I’d never have met Amy Lamé or Sue Perkins and I’d probably be a PE teacher, as this seemed to be the only job allowed if you were a lesbian when I was a kid in the ‘80s. So, with my charities sorted, I need to focus on other challenges... like is it okay to ask work colleagues to sponsor you, or will they feel bullied into it? And it's all very nice running in the beautiful Indian summer, but how on earth am I going to motivate myself to get out there in a few weeks' time when it’s dark, rainy and freezing cold?
Curiouser and curiouser Jimmy’s Food Factory, BBC1 Wed; Defying Gravity, BBC2 Wed
J
immy Doherty is back on our screens in Jimmy’s Food Factory. You remember him – Jamie Oliver’s mate, the one who set up an ethical farm and ran into more than a few obstacles along the way. Already I can feel your defenses are up as you prepare to be preached at and made to feel guilty about those chocolate buttons you had last Tuesday. Fear not, this programme is powered by the best motivation ever – pure curiosity. Jimmy wants to know how our convenience food makes it to our supermarket shelves. We’re not talking frozen lasagne or – God forbid – turkey twizzlers here, more the foodstuffs that have been lining our pantries for generations. Starting with breakfast. How do cornflakes become cornflakes? How do cows get milked only when they want to? And can you possibly blow stuff up while making instant coffee? All great questions that you probably last asked when you could barely see over the kitchen table, then forgot about as height gave you many more things on which to focus your attention. Jimmy hasn’t stopped asking, and he’s doing his best to find out – even recreating some of the methods in his massive ‘shed’. It’s fab. We can see great things ahead for that shed. The tone has been set by tumble
drying homemade cornflakes and distilling coffee in a contraption 1980s Casualty would’ve killed for with its disaster potential. You can just see the mangled kitchens ahead of this show, as kids have a go themselves and wreck the joint, which is good, ‘cos really all that means is that it’s inspiring. This Wednesday also sees the launch of Defying Gravity, the latest import from America set in the near future about a space expedition with ‘something mysterious’ influencing the trip from the off. Here there is definitely something nasty in the woodshed; we just can’t see it yet. Following the likes of Lost and FlashForward, things aren’t half as mysterious as they used to be and what may have been a clever plot device now seems somewhat hackneyed. Here’s hoping it gets more inventive as the series pans out. I’d still rather visit Jimmy’s shed any day, though.
Mary is being trained by Rachael Woolston of Fitbitch Boot Camp. www.fitbitchbootcamp.blogspot. com/01273 206849. Follow Rachael’s training tips at www.twitter.com/fitbitchuk. Places have sold out for Brighton Marathon but more will be released in November, or you can run for one of the charity partners. See www.brightonmarathon.co.uk
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027_LS446_TV_Tues
10/15/09
2:34 PM
Page 1
tuesday 20 7 Days On The Breadline ITV1, 9pm Three part series kicks off tonight by bunging four celebrities into a council estate in Leeds. Mel B takes over from a single mum of five kids, Rugby ace Austin Healey steps up as step-dad to two teens, Trinny Woodall becomes a carer for a 69-yearold lady and Keith Allen becomes a lone parent of six. Work cut out.
My Supermodel Baby BBC1, 10.35pm Everyone thinks their baby is the most beautiful cutey wootie ickle thing in the world. But when you start trying to make a livelihood out of this belief things can get a bit... antsy. This behind-thescenes look at the world of baby modelling follows three parent and child combos out to make their fortune.
The Real Cabaret BBC4, 9pm Alan Cummings made his name in Sam Mendes’ Broadway production of Cabaret and has an enduring fondness for the show. Ahh. So he’s out looking for stories from other of its past performers, as well as uncovering the true story of Sally Bowles and the cabaret artists who performed under the Nazis.
terrestrial
sport
BBC1
BBC2
ITV1
Channel 4
Five
Sky Sports 1
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 What’s New Scooby Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Raven 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.10am Children’s television 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.10 Charlie And Lola 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary Geography 11.20 Science Clips 11.30 Telling Tales 11.35 Telling Tales 11.40 Let’s Write A Story 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Animal Park 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 The Diet Doctors Inside And Out 12.40pm Five News 12.50 How To Be A Property Developer 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 FILM: Forget Me Never (1999) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Netbusters 9.30 Football League 11.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.00pm SPL Round-Up 12.30 Football League 2.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.00 Netbusters 3.30 Football League 5.00 Netbusters 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Hyundai A League 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 Poker Million 12.00am Football Asia 12.30 Champions League Goals 1.30 Hyundai A League 2.00 Revista De La Liga 3.00 Champions League Goals
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Heather gives birth to a baby boy, but the father is nowhere to be found. Were they really looking that hard? Didn’t see the Without A Trace crew called in. 8.00 Holby City Drama series. Faye struggles to cope when her son is admitted for another operation. Michael is in danger of looking stupid when Connie is left without a patient for her prestigious robotics launch. 9.00 Around The World In 80 Days Six pairs of celebrities race against the clock to raise money for 2009’s BBC Children in Need. The second leg sees The Apprentice stars Nick Hewer and Saira Khan take the baton on the 3,000-mile journey from Turkey to Kazakhstan, which is jeopardised when Iran and Uzbekistan refuse to let them in. Bit of a problemo. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 My Supermodel Baby See highlights. 11.20 Film 2009 With Jonathan Ross The latest film reviews, news and interviews with Jonathan Ross. 11.50 The Graham Norton Show 12.35am Weatherview 12.40 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.10 Saving Britain’s Past 1.40 MasterChef The Professionals 2.40 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 3.25 BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman introduces all the backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action from the world of Strictly Come Dancing. 7.00 Wainwright’s Walks Julia is in the village of Grasmere. 7.30 Heir Hunters Alan John Tew left £70,000 and the heir hunters compete to find a surviving relative before the Treasury takes it. 8.15 Masterchef The Professionals It is finals time and the remaining three chefs are vying for the title of Masterchef Champion. Having created a two course lunch out of a mystery box of ingredients, the chefs are then sent to Chelsea FC to cater a pre-match lunch. 9.00 Horizon: The Secret You With the help of a hammer-wielding scientist, Jennifer Aniston and an anaesthetic, Professor Marcus du Sautoy goes in search of answers to one of science’s greatest mysteries: how do we know who we are? 10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland Joining Jools are Basement Jaxx, Yoko Ono, Jack White’s new project The Dead Weather. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Robbie Williams: Electric Proms 2009 The BBC Electric Proms kick off with a bang with our Robbie. 12.05am Last Chance To See 1.05 BBC News 4.00 Class Clips
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Adam confronts Aaron about getting Holly drunk. 7.30 Grimefighters Series following the work of Britain’s clean-up crews. 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Ten hopeful contestants compete in the ‘fastest finger first’ round for a place in the hotseat opposite Chris Tarrant and the chance to walk away with the top prize. Check out the posh manicure Chris has when he offers the cheque. 9.00 7 Days On The Breadline See highlights. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Dishing The Dirt Series looking at Britain’s food industry, using undercover footage and expert interviews to show what really goes on behind closed doors. Today an undercover researcher is sent to expose a Greek restaurant in London. The owner has been in trouble before, but will the authorities finally be able to shut him down? 11.35 In Plain Sight Drama about a US Marshal. When a bridge collapse results in many deaths, the victims’ families come after the engineer who designed it. Pitch forks ready? 12.30am Red Bull Air Race 12.50 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.45 Loose Women 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 – 6.40am Children’s television 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Battlefront 10.00 How To Dump Your Mates 10.30 KNTV - Philosophy 11.00 Lifeproof TV 11.30 The Family: Teen Stories 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Juggling Homelessness 12.35 What’s In A Word? 12.50 Wife Swap USA 1.45 FILM: The Maverick Queen (1956) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Kris and Nancy visit Zoe in prison and are shocked at her appearance. No highlights – surely not in Hollyoaks! 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 How To Look Good Naked Makeover series. Gok Wan takes paramedic Karen under his wing. Confident in her high-pressure professional life, Karen is insecure about her body, even though she has recently trimmed down by three stone. Blimey, girl! Well done! 9.00 The Force Documentary series which follows Hampshire Constabulary police. 10.00 The Flying Car: Daredevils Young British inventor Gilo Cardozo teams up with former SAS soldier Neil Laughton in a bid to travel from London to Timbuktu using the world’s first practical flying car. Cool. 11.05 Derren Brown: Trick Of The Mind 2 D gets spooky on your ass. 11.40 Dizzee Rascal Video Exclusive 11.45 The Real Housewives Of New Jersey Reality series. 12.40am Full Tilt Poker 1.45 FIA GT3 Championship 2.10 Gillette World Sport 2.35 Freesports On 4 3.05 The McCain Track And Field Show 3.35 Rat Race 4.00 The Blue Dragon (x5) 5.15 Star Maths 4 (x3) 5.45 Making It (x3)
6.00 Home And Away Charlie meets with another of Grant’s victims. 6.30 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. 8.00 Nature Shock: Cannibal Hippos Documentary series examining freak occurrences in the natural world. This instalment explores a spate of hippo deaths on a nature reserve in Uganda. It’s like the hippo world’s been turned on it’s head! Next they’ll say no mud! 9.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama. The CSIs investigate the murder of a man during his ex-wife’s divorce party. As the case progresses, the detectives uncover the strange tale of the victim’s double life. 10.00 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama. The CSIs piece together vital evidence when a Manhattan house is destroyed by a lethal pipe bomb. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama. Grissom and Catherine investigate a case in which the fingerprints of a dead kidnap victim show up at a crime scene. 12.00am The FBI Files 12.55 SuperCasino 3.00 PGA Tour Golf 3.50 Golf – European Seniors Tour 4.40 Boxing Classic 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Soccer AM 9.00 Extra Time 9.30 Sailing: Med Cup 10.00 Poker 11.30 Formula Kart Stars 12.00pm Fishing: Thinking Tackle 1.00 Spirit Of Yachting VIII: Rolex Fastnet Race 1.30 Poker 3.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 4.00 Spirit Of Yachting VIII: Rolex Fastnet Race 4.30 Formula Kart Stars 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 European Seniors Tour Golf 7.00 LIVE: Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Champions League Goals 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00am European Seniors Tour Golf 1.00 Sports Unlimited 2.00 Spirit Of Yachting VIII: Rolex Fastnet Race 2.30 Pool: World Pool Masters
Sky Sports 3 7.30am Fishing: Thinking Tackle 8.30 The Irish Golfer 9.00 Golf: World Club Championship 10.00 Ronan Keating Golf Classic 10.30 Wild Spirits 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Lanzarote Ironman 1.00 Ronan Keating Golf Classic 1.30 Golf: World Club Championship 2.30 Lanzarote Ironman 3.30 The Irish Golfer 4.00 Showjumping 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 UCI BMX Series 7.30 LIVE: Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 PGA Grand Slam Of Golf 2.00am European Seniors Tour Golf
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1.00pm Project Runway 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons 7.00 Hairspray: The School Musical 8.00 Stargate Universe 9.00 Fringe 10.00 House 11.00 Lie To Me 12.00am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Greatest Moments 8.00 Bizarre ER 8.30 Bizarre Animal ER 9.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 How Not To Live Your Life 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.50 Don’t Tell The Bride 12.50am How Not To Live Your Life 1.20 Underage And Pregnant (x2)
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Tales From The Green Valley 8.00 Life 9.00 The Real Cabaret. See highlights. 10.00 It’s Only A Theory 10.30 FILM: Cabaret (1972) 12.30am The Real Cabaret 1.30 Bulgaria’s Abandoned Children Revisited 2.30 It’s Only A Theory 3.00 The Real Cabaret
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 9.00 Jack Osbourne: Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie 10.00 FILM: The Dukes Of Hazzard (2005) 12.10am FILM: Gun Crazy (1992)
1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Profiling PD James 10.00 PD James: An Unsuitable Job For A Woman 12.15am Reckless
1.35pm Friends 2.05 Gilmore Girls 3.05 Veronica Mars 4.00 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny 11.00 RuPaul’s Drag Race 12.05am Rick And Steve: 12.35 Scrubs (x2)
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 Hello Dollies 9.00 Location, Location, Location 10.00 True Stories: The End Of The Line 11.50 Location, Location, Location 12.55am True Stories: The End Of The Line
11.00am The Children’s Hour (1961) 1.10pm Sea Wife (1957) 2.50 The Arsenal Stadium Mystery (1939) 4.35 Dragoon Wells Massacre (1957) 6.15 Terry Gilliam Interview 6.20 The Bridges Of Madison County (1995) 9.00 Kiss The Girls (1997) 11.15 Date Movie (2006) 12.50am The Death Of Mr Lazarescu (2005)
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wednesday 21 Defying Gravity BBC2, 9pm & 9.45pm It’s a new American sci-fi series set in the near future involving space travel and an unseen force, and it’s a double episode. The first one sets the scene with eight astronauts preparing for a joy ride to Venus and other planets. Woo hoo! Except there’s a hiccup. Then they set off proper. No more hiccups? Yeah, right.
True Blood Channel4, 10pm Here’s a surprise – not all vampires are safe. Who’da thunk it? Well, most of the bar that warned Sookie off hanging out with Bill. He saves her, though, with the immortal words:“Sookie is mine!” Get ready to catchphrase that doozie. And another one of Jason’s lady friends turns up dead. Oh.
Trinity ITV2, 9pm More from the conspiracy-laden Trinity College. It’s Founders Day and the distinguished alumni return, including Hunter who is – believe it or not – the richest man in the world. Add your own impressive sound effect here. Maltravers is less impressed. Maddy’s not happy either as her ex turns up. Grr.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 What’s New Scooby Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Keep Your Enemies Close 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Dani’s House 8.30 Tommy Zoom 8.40 Big Barn Farm 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.10 Charlie And Lola 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Pingu 11.05 The Flintstones 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Animal Park 2.30 Car Booty 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 2008 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Jimmy’s Food Factory Science series in which farmer Jimmy Doherty asks what really goes into supermarket food. Not small fingers. 8.00 Holby City Drama series. Everyone is left reeling when Archie dies unexpectedly. Vanessa suspects foul play, dismissing Connie, Ric and Faye from the hospital to allow for a full police inquiry. Blimey O’Reilly! 9.00 Traffic Cops Documentary series following the traffic police as they enforce the law on some of Britain’s busiest and most dangerous roads. Not your road with the blinking streetlight. That’s not nearly dangerous enough. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws The midweek National Lottery draws including Thunderball and Lotto, presented by Scott Mills. Who IS he? 10.45 FILM: On A Clear Day (2005) Starring Peter Mullan, Brenda Blethyn. Comedy drama about a Glasgow shipbuilder who struggles to regain his living and pride when he is laid off after decades of working. 12.20am Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Antiques Roadshow 1.25 Country Tracks 2.20 MasterChef The Professionals 3.05 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour Of Britain 3.50 BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman returns with all the backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action from the world of Strictly Come Dancing. 7.00 Railway Walks Julia Bradbury takes a series of walks following the old tracks, overgrown cuttings and ancient viaducts of Britain’s lost rail empire. 7.30 Heir Hunters The heir hunters compete to find a surviving relative before the Treasury takes 20,000 pounds from an unclaimed estate. Plus, the man who gave hot news the cold shoulder, and details of other unclaimed estates worth 729,000 pounds. 8.15 Masterchef The Professionals It is finals time and the remaining three chefs must prepare historic dishes for a dinner hosted by the president of the Royal College of Physicians. 9.00 Defying Gravity See highlights. 9.45 Defying Gravity See highlights. 10.30 Newsnight The stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Dizzee Rascal: Electric Proms 2009 Britain’s current king of rap-pop brings his energetic party vibe to the Roundhouse stage. 12.05am An Island Parish 12.35 BBC News 4.00 I-Science 5.00 Class Clips
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Nathan threatens Leyla over their one night stand. Faye grills Mark about his romantic evening with Natasha. Zak warns Charity not to blow things with Debbie. Apart from anything else, Debbie’s not one to be crossed. 7.30 UEFA Champions League: Chelsea V Atletico Madrid Chelsea may lead their Champions League group but Carlo Ancelotti’s men have failed to convince so far during their European campaign. They are likely to be given a tough test by Atletico Madrid at Stamford Bridge. Presented by Steve Rider with Marcel Desailly and Andy Townsend. Commentary from Clive Tyldesley and Jim Beglin – and your best mate, gradually getting more excitable. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 UEFA Champions League Gabriele Marcotti and Robbie Earle join Jim Rosenthal to review all the goals from the latest round of matches in the UEFA Champions League. What do you mean you missed it? Some football fan you are! 12.00am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 12.50 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.45 Loose Women 2.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.25 Health Records For Sale: Tonight 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 – 6.40am Children’s television 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Battlefront 10.00 How To Dump Your Mates 10.30 KNTV – Philosophy 11.00 Lifeproof TV 11.30 The Family: Teen Stories 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Juggling Homelessness 12.35 Proud Parents 12.45 Wife Swap 1.40 FILM: The Road To Denver (1955) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Archie is struggling to deal with Zoe’s prison sentence and his conspiracy theories are trying everyone’s patience. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Ruth Watson’s Hotel Rescue Essex businessman Michael Chittenden and his partner Tammy plan to renovate Clacton-on-Sea’s famous Victorian hotel The Royal. 9.00 The Secret Millionaire Changed My Life Scrap metal tycoon Gary Eastwood returns to Blackpool. In the eight months since his last visit, he has more than doubled his donations to the town. Now, he takes his privileged son Antony to see what changes the money has made. Learn, son! 10.00 True Blood See highlights. 11.15 Generation Kill Drama series set in the Iraq War. Whilst scoping out a roadside firefight, Bravo company watch in shock as a combat team obliterate a small village. 12.30am 4 Music: Paolo Nutini: Video Exclusive 12.40 Rimmel London Presents The World’s Greatest Pop Star: Kylie Minogue 1.40 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 4Music’s choice of the best of this week’s music videos. 3.30 FILM: Friday Night In (2003) 3.40 Invasion 4.20 Reaper 5.05 In Your Dreams 5.15 Countdown
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 The Diet Doctors Inside And Out 12.40pm Five News 12.50 How To Be A Property Developer 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.00 The Family Recipe 3.10 FILM: Jane Doe - Yes, I Remember It Well (2006) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Charlie kidnaps Grant and attempts to force him to confess. That’ll do it. 6.30 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. 8.00 The Lost Symbol: Truth Or Fiction Investigative documentary exploring the story behind Dan Brown’s new novel, The Lost Symbol. Featuring unique access to Freemason lodges throughout the world. No handshake required. 9.00 FILM: The Man Who Sued God (2000) Starring Billy Connolly, Judy Davis, Colin Friels and Billie Brown. Comedy about a lawyer who takes on his maker in a court of law when the lawyer’s boat is destroyed in an ‘act of God’ and his insurance company refuses to pay compensation. 11.05 FILM: Pacific Heights (1990) Starring Melanie Griffith, Matthew Modine, Michael Keaton. Thriller in which a yuppie couple battle their unhinged tenant. Can you really be scared of Michael Keaton after you’ve seen Mr Mom? 12.55am SuperCasino 3.00 2009 Summer X Games 3.50 NHRA Drag Racing 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Champions League Goals 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Hyundai A League 11.30 Football Asia 12.00pm Champions League Goals 1.00 Hyundai A League 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Revista De La Liga 3.00 Hyundai A League 3.30 Football Asia 4.00 Champions League Goals 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 Asian Tour Weekly 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 Total Rugby 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.15 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am Total Rugby 12.30 Champions League Goals 1.30 Poker Million 3.30 Champions League Goals 4.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.00 Trans World Sport
Sky Sports 2 6.00am WWE Vintage Collection 7.00 Golf: PGA EuroPro Tour 9.00 PGA Grand Slam Of Golf 12.00pm Golf: PGA EuroPro Tour 2.00 PGA Grand Slam Of Golf 5.00 LIVE Football: UEFA Champions League 7.30 LIVE: Football: UEFA Champions League 10.00 Champions League Goals 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Watersports World 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 Total Rugby 2.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 7.30am Sporting Ireland 8.00 UCI BMX Series 8.30 Sports Unlimited 9.30 Poker Million 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 2.00 Poker Million 4.00 Sports Unlimited 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Golf: PGA EuroPro Tour 9.00 PGA Grand Slam Of Golf 1.00am Golf: PGA EuroPro Tour 3.00 Asian Tour Weekly 3.30 European Tour Weekly 4.00 Close
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1.00pm Project Runway 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Futurama 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Hairspray: The School Musical 8.00 Project Runway 9.00 NCIS: LA (x2) 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Street Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Greatest Moments 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Who Made Me Fat? 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 How Not To Live Your Life 11.15 Lunch Monkeys 11.45 Don’t Tell The Bride 12.45am Who Made Me Fat? 1.45 How Not To Live Your Life 2.15 Lunch Monkeys
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Legends: Josephine Baker – The First Black Superstar 8.30 Art Deco Icons 9.00 A Tale Of Two Britains 10.00 Flight Of The Conchords 10.30 It’s Only A Theory 11.00 Wallander 12.30am A Tale Of Two Britains 1.30 Art Deco Icons 2.00 It’s Only A Theory
2.35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 7.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 Trinity. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: The Matrix Revolutions (2003) 12.35am Hell’s Kitchen USA 1.35 Emmerdale
1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 Life 11.00 FILM: Frantic (1988) 1.25am Cane 2.10 Surgical Spirit 2.35 The Wonder Years
1.10 Scrubs 1.40 Friends 2.05 Gilmore Girls 3.05 Veronica Mars 4.00 The Hills 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: School Of Rock (2003) 11.10 School Of Comedy 11.45 Fonejacker 12.15am Scrubs (x2)
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 UR 50 V4IN 9.00 Bremner, Bird And Fortune: The Last Show Before The Recovery 10.00 The Force 11.10 Saving Grace 12.10am Bremner, Bird And Fortune: The Last Show Before The Recovery
11.00am Dragonwyck (1946) 1.05pm Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye (1950) 3.05 The House On Telegraph Hill (1951) 4.55 Good Morning, Miss Dove (1955) 7.05 Picture Perfect (1997) 9.00 Braveheart (1995) 12.20am The Acid House (1997) 2.30 Terry Gilliam Interview 2.40 Close
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thursday 22 Coronation Street ITV1, 8.30pm Uh-oh. It was almost exactly a year ago when a desperate Tony was desperately trying to think of a way to stop the person in the way of his desperate love. Now Carla’s back, he’s engaged to Maria, and as much as we all love a Greek tragedy, is he really going to get away with marrying the girl he widowed? Watch out Carla!
The Bigamist Bride: My Five Husbands Channel 4, 9pm At 30 Emily Horne has been married five times... she just forgot to get divorced between the betrothals. The tabloids have made up their own minds, the husbands and family members have their own ideas, but Emily’s version of what happened is quite different from everyone else’s.
Russell Howard’s Good News BBC3, 10.30pm The young-looking one with the goofy smile from Mock The Week has got his own show! Sounds dead good, too, as he discusses the week’s news from TV, print and the internet, as well as stories submitted by viewers through the BBC website and Russell’s own Twitter page. Cool.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 What’s New Scooby Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Raven 4.35 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.25am Children’s television 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.10 Charlie And Lola 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary History 11.20 Science Clips 11.30 Science Clips 11.40 Primary Geography: A Village In Bangladesh 11.50 Focus 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Animal Park 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 2008 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman returns with all the backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action. 7.00 The Culture Show A Culture Show special from the London Film Festival presented Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo. They review the festival highlights. 8.00 Masterchef The Professionals It is the final. The three remaining chefs face their toughest challenge yet – preparing a three course menu for 30 of the world’s leading Michelin chefs and inspectors at Brown’s Hotel in London. Get the smelling salts! 9.30 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic, award-winning pop quiz. Regular team captains Noel Fielding and Phill Jupitus are joined by guest host Jack Whitehall. 10.00 Home Time Drama. As the girls wake up from a boozy sleepover, Gaynor gets a nasty shock– an invitation to a school reunion. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Doves: Electric Proms 2009 Manchester trio Doves perform an exciting collaboration with the London Bulgarian Choir. 12.05am Defying Gravity (x2) 1.30 BBC News 4.00 More Than Sport 5.00 Class Clips
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 Sali Mali 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Battlefront Television 10.00 How To Dump Your Mates 10.30 KNTV - Philosophy 11.00 Lifeproof TV 11.30 The Family: Teen Stories 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Juggling Homelessness 12.35 Wife Swap USA 1.35 FILM: Timberjack (1955) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks With Sarah’s funeral looming, Archie is determined to get to the bottom of how she died and clear Zoe’s name. You’re a minor miracle if you get to draw your pention in Chester with all the danger and moving away afoot. Truely. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Location, Location, Location Property series. Phil Spencer and Kirstie Allsopp revisit Steve and Dee from Essex who need a home for themselves, their children, and their trio of racing camels. In Chelmsford, internet entrepreneur Steve and his wife Dee were looking for a dream house. Minus racing camels. Who HAS those? Eccentric sheiks surely! 9.00 The Bigamist Bride: My Five Husbands See highlights. 10.35 FILM: Saw III (2006) Starring Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith, Angus MacFadyen and Bahar Soomekh. Horror sequel. The sadistic Jigsaw devises tortuous and torturous traps for a doctor and her apprentice, who must treat his brain tumour and play his twisted games or face a grisly end. Ever get the feeling the grisly end will never be the end? Oh, that’d be Saw IV. 12.40am FILM: Black Rain (1989) 3.00 The Force 3.55 Unreported World 4.20 Dispatches: Ready For A Riot 5.15 Countdown
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 The Diet Doctors Inside And Out 12.40pm Five News 12.50 How To Be A Property Developer 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 FILM: Revenge Of The Middle-Aged Woman (2004) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Aden and Geoff struggle to work together. Tony tries to spend more time with Rachel and Harry. Romeo Smith is introduced to Summer Bay. It was a formal affair with line dances and cups of tea. Quite pretty and frilly with all of the Miss Bennetts in tow. Wrong genre? 6.30 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Europa League Football Live Europa League football action from matchday three as Fulham play host to Italian giants Roma at Craven Cottage. Dave Woods commentates. Kick-off is at 8.05pm. Will they all fit into a tiny little cottage? May have to send out for extra chairs. 10.20 FILM: Blade (1998) Starring Wesley Snipes, Stephen Dorff, Kris Kristofferson, N’Bushe Wright, Donal Logue, Udo Kier, Arly Jover and Traci Lords. Action-packed adaptation of the popular comic-book series about a half-vampire on a mission to destroy the undead. When a rogue vampire attempts to bring permanent night to the world, only one individual can stop him. Featuring some inventive set pieces, stunning fight choreography and a clever revision of vampire mythology. In other words – it looks dead cool. Geddit?! 12.30am SuperCasino 4.00 NFL Replay 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 Champions League Goals 10.30 European Tour Weekly 11.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Castello Masters 1.00pm Champions League Goals 2.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Castello Masters 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 6.00 The Rugby Club 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 LIVE: Premier League Snooker 11.00 Time Of Our Lives 12.00am Barclays Premier League World 12.30 The Rugby Club 1.30 Time Of Our Lives 2.30 Barclays Premier League World 3.00 The Rugby Club 4.00 Barclays Premier League World 4.30 Powerboating 5.00 NFL – Total Access
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Heather calls the father to come and see his son – who will it be? Will it be Dirty Den, Oscar or may be Ian Beale? Sorry, different decade of ‘stEnders pregnany quandary. 8.00 Watchdog Anne Robinson, Matt Allwright and Anita Rani take on the big names and businesses letting viewers down, with investigations and topical reports. 9.00 New Tricks Drama series. The team investigate the death of the Chief Brewer at Felspar’s Brewery, which proves to be rather intoxicating for the boys. For Pullman, the case has a more personal agenda and she learns some difficult truths about her dead father. Why no good truths? 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time The debate comes from London, with a panel including Justice Secretary Jack Straw; the leader of the BNP, Nick Griffin; Deputy Chairman of the British Museum’s Board of Trustees, and playwright Bonnie Greer. 11.35 This Week A political review. 12.20am Holiday Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Life 1.55 Design For Life 2.55 Countryfile 3.50 MasterChef The Professionals 4.35 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Sparks fly when Cain returns to find Charity has her feet under the table at Debbie’s. 7.30 Countrywise Paul Heiney explores Britain. 8.00 Emmerdale Cain makes Charity a shocking offer. Leyla struggles to make amends with an oblivious David. Ashley and Laurel are troubled by Sally’s growing fears. 8.30 Coronation Street See highlights. 9.00 The Bill When Lily Wright’s car is stolen with her baby daughter Chelsea inside, she appeals to Leon and Nate for help. After the car is found empty, Inspector Smith breaks the news to Lily and to Chelsea’s father Gavin. The suspect is soon found badly beaten in a squat, with no sign of the child. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Boris Becker Piers Morgan’s biographical chat show continues with a revealing profile of tennis legend Boris Becker. 11.35 Surface Fantasy drama. As Laura considers going back home, she and Rich decide it is time to get some answers from Lee. 12.30am British Superbike Championship 1.40 Motorsport UK 2.35 Loose Women 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 PGA Grand Slam Of Golf 10.30 Trans World Sport 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 Total Rugby 1.00 Adrenaline Adventures 1.30 Poker Million 3.30 Champions League Goals 4.30 NFL – Total Access 5.30 PGA Grand Slam Of Golf 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 LIVE: Poker: Bounty Hunter 10k 12.00am NFL – Total Access 1.00 Premier League Snooker
Sky Sports 3 8.00am Summer Speed Motor Sport 9.00 Watersports World 10.00 Total Rugby 10.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.00 Adrenaline Adventures 11.30 Racing News 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 2.30 Adrenaline Adventures 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Summer Speed Motor Sport 5.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 6.00 Trans World Sport 7.00 Race World 8.00 The Rugby Club 9.00 The Dogs 9.30 WWE Late Night Raw 11.30 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.30am Golf Night Victoria Nangle
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2.00pm Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Malcolm In The Middle 5.00 Futurama 5.30 Modern Family 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Bones 10.00 Lie To Me 11.00 Modern Family 11.30 NCIS: LA (x2) 1.30 Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 Doctor Who Confidential 8.00 Off The Hook 8.30 Underage And Pregnant 9.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News. See highlights 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 The World’s Strictest Parents 12.45am Russell Howard’s Good News
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Art Deco Icons 8.00 Glamour’s Golden Age 9.00 The Golden Age Of Liners 10.00 FILM: Shall We Dance (1937) 11.45 The Armstrong And Miller Show 12.15am The Golden Age Of Liners 1.15 Glamour’s Golden Age 2.15 Art Deco Icons 2.45 The Golden Age Of Liners
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Judge Judy (x3) 6.45 Beat The Star 8.00 Paris Hilton’s American Best Friend Forever 9.00 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 10.00 Fearne And... Paris Hilton 11.00 Coronation Street 11.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 12.00am FILM: Gun Crazy (1992) 2.05 Emmerdale (x2)
1.00pm Heartbeat 2.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Live The Dream... As Seen On Screen 9.00 When Piers Met Sir Cliff 10.00 Trial And Retribution 2 12.20am Profiling PD James
4.00pm Style Her Famous 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 School Of Comedy 10.35 The Inbetweeners 11.05 Important Things With Demetri Martin 11.35 Peep Show 12.05am King Of The Hill 12.35 Scrubs
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Abroad 8.00 News 8.30 Soldier Girls 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies 10.00 Hung 10.40 Curb Your Enthusiasm 11.15 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 12.20am Embarrassing Bodies 1.25 Hung
11.00am In Custody (1993) 1.25pm The Black Swan (1942) 3.05 Carry On Up The Khyber (1968) 4.50 The Silent Enemy (1958) 7.00 Ladies In Lavender (2004) 9.00 Clear And Present Danger (1994) 11.40 Oldboy (2003) 2.00am Purely Belter (2000) 3.55 Close
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friday 23 Mastermind BBC2, 8pm Test out the old brainbox with the classic black leather chair specialist quiz, where your former geekdom can win you mucho points. Tonight’s specialist subjects are the life and career of Bill Hicks, George Frideric Handel, the Mont Blanc massif and the life and works of Isaiah Berlin. With John Humphries.
Friday Night With Jonathan Ross BBC1, 10.35pm Jono’s gonna have an interesting Green Room tonight, leaving one of the biggest rappers in the world – 50 Cent – with the humorous, quirky and classically trained comedian Tim Minchin. Could this spur one heck of a collaboration? Or simply polite conversation. Both great guests.
The Stepford Wives ITV3, 10pm The original rendition of the story of a town making perfect wives to serve their husbands. Made all the more spooky by the fact this is 1975, when ‘feminism’ was a rather dirty word. Starring Katherine Ross, Paula Prentiss and Nanette Newman (before she was better known for making cakes). A classic of its time.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 What’s New Scooby Doo? 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Keep Your Enemies Close 4.35 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.10 Charlie And Lola 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Just So Darwin 11.15 KS1 Science Clips 11.25 Something Special 11.40 China Stories 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Animal Park 2.15 Car Booty 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 2008 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia breaks into rehearsals and the Friday Panel looks forward to the weekend. 7.00 Liz Smith’s Summer Cruise Actress and comedian Liz Smith, known to millions as Nana in The Royle Family, does the one thing she has never managed to achieve in her life - go on a proper holiday. Film-maker Daisy Asquith follows Smith as she fulfils her ambition. 8.00 Mastermind See highlights. 8.30 Gardeners’ World It’s all systems go at Greenacre as Toby Buckland and the team get the garden ready for the winter ahead. 9.00 Autumnwatch Chris Packham and Kate Humble are in north Norfolk to witness one of the most spectacular autumn phenomena. 10.00 Autumnwatch Unsprung Hosted by Martin Hughes-Games, Autumnwatch Unsprung promises more lively discussion and debate. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.00 Newsnight Review Round table arts and culture discussion programme with Kirsty Wark. 11.35 Later... With Jools Holland Extended repeat of Tuesday’s show. 12.40am Medium (x2) 2.05 FILM: Dr Jekyll And Ms Hyde (1995)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 Sali Mali 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Battlefront Television 10.00 First Light 10.10 First Light 10.15 First Light 10.30 KNTV - Philosophy 11.00 My Crazy Life 11.30 The Family: Teen Stories 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder 12.35 Wife Swap USA 1.35 FILM: Flame Of The Barbary Coast (1945) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Archie tells Kris he thinks Lydia killed Sarah, and then accuses Lydia of murder in front of everyone. Way to play your cards close to your chest. Dead clever. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Unreported World In Guatemala City, bus drivers are being murdered at a rate of one every other day as part of a campaign of extortion. The two main gangs are responsible, with business interests leading to murder. 8.00 Jamie’s American Road Trip Jamie wants to see if cowboys still exist and so heads to a rodeo. There he cooks a post-show feast of slowcooked beef and home-baked beans. 9.00 Rude Tube A parade of the men, women and animals that have been made global celebrities by posting their video virals online. 10.00 Peep Show Sitcom. Mark is worried that Jeff is becoming a rival dad and decides to learn to drive so he can take Sophie to the hospital. 10.35 The IT Crowd Sitcom. Douglas hires Jen as his new PA, which gives Moss and Roy free reign in the office. 11.05 True Blood Repeat. 12.15am 4 Music: The Dead Weather: Full Flash Bank 12.45 4 Music: Live From Abbey Road 1.45 Friends (x2) 2.35 FILM: Autumn In New York (2000) 4.30 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 5.25 Countdown
6.00 – 8.00am Childen’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 The Diet Doctors Inside And Out 12.40pm Five News 12.50 How To Be A Property Developer 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 The Family Recipe 3.10 FILM: Love’s Unending Legacy (2007) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Barclays Premier League World 9.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.00 The Rugby Club 11.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Castello Masters 1.00pm Barclays Premier League World 1.30 The Rugby Club 2.30 The Dogs 3.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE: Football League: Championship 10.00 LIVE: Friday Fight Night 12.00am Football League: Championship 1.30 Barclays Premier League Preview
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 8.00 EastEnders Heather waits anxiously until the father of her baby finally arrives. Syed realises that his blackmailer is very close to home. 8.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the light-hearted sports quiz, with regular team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell. 9.00 Have I Got News For You The popular news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host David Mitchell and guest panellists Grayson Perry and Ed Byrne. Such witty banter. 9.30 The Armstrong And Miller Show Sketch show starring Alexander Armstrong and Ben Miller. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross See highlights. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw Loadsa dosh! 11.40 FILM: Duplex (2003) Starring Ben Stiller, Drew Barrymore. Black comedy. A young professional couple looking for a place to live in New York move in to their dream home, only to discover that the neighbour from hell lives upstairs. 1.05am Weatherview 1.10 Sign Zone: Emma 2.10 Home Time 2.40 Masterchef The Professionals 3.25 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Carl takes daring action to locate Cain’s money. Not his wallet then? 7.30 Coronation Street Tony makes Jimmy do his dirty work once again. Will Molly be caught out by Sally? 8.00 Heart Of The Matter: Tonight The amount of people taking daily cholesterol-lowering statins has doubled in the last two years, with almost seven million of us taking them. Fiona Foster meets former Blue Peter presenter Peter Duncan who wants to reduce his high cholesterol levels through diet and exercise. 8.30 Coronation Street Is Tony having second thoughts, or will he go through with his plan to kill Carla? What an anniversary pressie! 9.00 Benidorm Cockney conman Gary starts working his way through the holidaymakers, and a remedy for an upset stomach proves unsettling for Madge. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Mad Max 2 (1981) Starring Mel Gibson, Bruce Spence, Vernon Wells. Fast-paced apocalyptic adventure. In a hostile post-World War III world, embittered lone warrior Max agrees to help when an oilproducing community under attack. 12.20am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.15 FILM: Levity (2003) 2.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV News
6.00 Home And Away Romeo settles into the bay. Tony reaches breaking point with Rachel. 6.30 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. 8.00 Brighton Beach Patrol Documentary series. Seafront Manager Viki Miller is tasked with finding a missing three-year-old boy amongst the 100,000 beach users, whilst lifeguard Izzy Wood is in a weaver-fish frenzy. Wazzat? 9.00 NCIS Drama series. When Shepard heads off to a conference, Gibbs is made acting director – but he prefers to ignore his duties and lead the team in the investigation of a man found dead in a taxi. 10.00 FlashForward Sci-fi drama about a mysterious event that causes the population of the entire world to black out simultaneously. Repeat of Monday’s episode. 11.00 Law And Order: SVU Drama series about an elite force based in New York. Benson and Stabler investigate the near-fatal beating of a psychiatrist who may have been attacked by one of her patients. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 Great Ocean Adventures: The White Whale 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw 9.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 9.30 The Dogs 10.00 Race World 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 The Dogs 12.00pm UIM F1 Powerboating 12.30 Premier League Snooker 4.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 4.30 The Dogs 5.00 NFL 6.00 Kiteboard Pro World Tour 6.30 Gillette World Sport 7.00 Archipelago Raid 7.30 LIVE: International Rugby League 10.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 10.30 Football League Weekend 11.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 12.00am LIVE Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 1.30 NFL 2.30 Football League Weekend
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Dunlop Best Of British Motorsport 7.00 UIM Class 1 Powerboats 7.30 Premier League Snooker 11.00 Aerobics: Oz Style 11.30 Racing 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Race World 2.00 Adrenaline Adventures 2.30 Barclays Premier League World 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 Dunlop Best Of British Motorsport 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Golf Night 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 Golf Night Victoria Nangle
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3.00pm Cold Case 4.00 Oops TV 4.30 Grease: The School Musical 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Malcolm In The Middle 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Grease: The School Musical 9.00 FILM: Beverly Hills Cop (1984) 11.05 Ross Kemp: In Search Of Pirates 12.05am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 The Real Hustle On Holiday (x2) 9.00 Doctor Who Greatest Moments: The Companions 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Russell Howard’s Good News 12.45 How Not To Live Your Life 1.15 Harper’s Island (x2) 2.40 Harper’s Island Solved
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Leeds International Piano Competition 2009 8.30 Transatlantic Sessions 9.00 Krautrock: The Rebirth Of Germany 10.00 Kraftwerk: MinimumMaximum 11.00 Spiral II 11.55 Only Connect 12.25am The Thick Of It Special 1.25 Krautrock: The Rebirth Of Germany
12.00pm Coronation Street 12.30 Emmerdale (x2) 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Judge Judy 5.45 The X Factor (x2) 9.00 FILM: Miami Vice (2006) 11.40 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 12.40am Coronation Street (x2) 1.40 Emmerdale 2.05 Ladette To Lady
2.00pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Life 10.00 FILM: The Stepford Wives (1975). See highlights. 12.25am Flashpoint 1.15 Dandelion Dead 3.00 Surgical Spirit
1.40pm Friends 2.05 Gilmore Girls 3.05 Veronica Mars 4.00 Style Her Famous 4.25 Hollyoaks 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.00 Wife Swap USA 11.00 FILM: Porky’s (1982) 1.00am Scrubs (x2)
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Abroad 8.00 More4 News 8.30 My Dad, The Serial Killer 9.00 FILM: The Shawshank Redemption (1994) 11.45 Skin Deep 12.50am FILM: The Shawshank Redemption (1994) 3.35 Close
11.00am Sea Wife (1957) 12.40pm Three Secrets (1950) 2.35 Escape To Athena (1979) 4.55 The Triumph Of Love (2002) 7.05 Terry Gilliam Interview 7.15 Bedazzled (2000) 9.00 The Fifth Element (1997) 11.30 Jackass: The Movie (2002) 1.15am Next Friday (1999)
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saturday 24 Harry Hill’s TV Burp ITV1, 7.30pm Yay, it’s Mr Hill and his irascible ribbing of all and sundry on the telly-box. You can just bet that the soaps will be in for a mocking, but who else will feel the barbs of his wit? Who will we go to the ad break with while they fight? And which sub Z-lister will sing us out at the very end? Ooh – the anticipation is palpable.
The Thick Of It BBC2, 10.10pm It’s back. Nuff said really, but if you need to know more it’s only the biting comedic satire of inner government and civil service workings that spawned the hit film earlier this year In The Loop. Peter Capaldi is still the boss from hell, with lower civil servants quaking in his stead as he firefights the latest calamity.
David Blaine: Frozen In Time E4, 9pm Remember when David Blaine was held over the Thames for ages in one of his endurance feats? Yeah, he’s not doing that again. He learned that the London folk aren’t that easily impressed by inertia. Instead he’s over in New York virtually immobile inside a 6-tonne block of ice for nearly 62 hours. They love that.
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6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers 12.00pm BBC News 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 Racing From Aintree And Chepstow 2.30 Seve Ballesteros And His Fight For Life 3.10 Murder, She Wrote 4.00 A Question Of Sport 4.30 Final Score 5.25 BBC News 5.35 South East Today 5.45 Hole In The Wall
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Gimme A Break 8.30 TMi 10.00 My Almost Famous Family 10.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.25 Diddy Dick And Dom 11.30 Animals At Work 12.00pm The Cut 12.25 Off The Hook 12.55 The 5.19 Show 1.10 Chartjackers 1.15 The Well 1.25 Kyle XY 2.10 FILM: Mackenna’s Gold (1969) 4.15 Emma 5.15 Match Of The Day Live: Derby County V Queens Park Rangers
7.30 Autumnwatch UK wildlife series. Chris Packham and Kate Humble are in north Norfolk to witness one of the most spectacular autumn phenomena. Although you may have already seen it earlier in the week. Blimmin’ repeat society. 8.30 Balmoral Documentary telling the story of Balmoral, the Royal Family’s most private residence. For over 150 years this Scottish castle has been home to royal traditions of picnics, stag hunting and kilts. But there’s also the story of how the Royal Family has played a role in shaping modern Scotland and vice versa. My husband and I... are having a fling? Perhaps. 9.30 Have I Got A Bit More News For You The extended version of the popular news quiz. 10.10 The Thick Of It See highlights. 10.40 Dame Shirley Bassey: Electric Proms 2009 In what promises to be a glamorous and glittering affair, Trevor Nelson and Edith Bowman present highlights of Dame Shirley Bassey’s special performance for the BBC Electric Proms from London’s Roundhouse. 11.40 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Repeat of Thursday’s show with that anarchic pop stuff. 12.10am The Culture Show 1.10 FILM: The Rainbow (1989) 3.00 FILM: Ghost Ship (1943)
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 GT4 European Cup 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.30 Rimmel London Presents The World’s Greatest Pop Star: Kylie Minogue 10.35 Fantastic Mr Fox: T4 Movie Special 11.05 Hollyoaks Music Show 11.40 P. Diddy’s Starmaker 12.40pm Scrubs 1.10 Red Bull Rivals 2.00 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 Come Dine With Me 4.30 Come Dine With Me 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Come Dine With Me 6.00 Come Dine With Me Cookery reality show. Etiquette expert Maggie Twemlow cooks a meal of royal proportions. Bring on the roast swan! 6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Kevin McCloud’s Grand Tour Of Europe Kevin sets off from Rome to follow the journey of Robert Adam, the most influential neoclassical architect of the 18th century. Bet he was da dude. 8.00 FILM: The Truman Show (1998) Starring Jim Carrey, Laura Linney, Ed Harris. Satire on the intrusive nature of television. Unaware that he is the subject of a reality TV show in which his whole life has been an orchestrated drama, the man - and his addicted viewers – are unprepared for the repercussions when he discovers the truth. 10.00 FILM: Blade: Trinity (2004) Starring Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Jessica Biel, Dominic Purcell and Ryan Reynolds. Final chapter of the action adventure in which the half-human/half-vampire comic book hero joins forces with the Nightstalkers, a team of demonhunters, to sabotage Dracula’s attempt at an Armageddon. 12.10am 4 Music: Live From Abbey Road 1.15 FILM: (BST) Lake Tahoe (2008) 1.30 (GMT) Home Road Movies 1.45 FILM: Metropolis (2001) 3.35 St Elsewhere (x2) 5.10 Countdown 5.55 The Treacle People
6.00am Sunrise 7.00 Angels Of Jarm 7.10 Fireman Sam 7.30 The Milkshake! Show 7.45 Noddy In Toyland 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 8.45 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.55 Olivia 9.15 Little Princess 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 NFLUK 11.00 The Gadget Show 12.00pm Mean Machines 12.30 FILM: The Black Knight (1954) 2.10 FILM: A Passage To India (1984) 5.15 Five News 5.25 FILM: What About Bob? (1991) 7.15 NCIS Drama series about the US Navy’s dedicated federal agency. The FBI tells Gibbs that his former commanding officer has gone AWOL. 8.05 CSI: NY New York-based spinoff of the crime drama series. After a night of heavy partying, two underage girls make the reckless decision to drive home. En route, the girls get in an accident in which one of them dies instantaneously. The other is sent to hospital - where she is smothered to death. Bad night. 9.00 CSI: NY Drama series. Mac looks into the death of a base jumper who was hit by a flock of racing pigeons. Unlucky. 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. Riley and Ray are taken hostage in the aftermath of a multiple shooting. Can the pair save the life of a critically injured young man and escape unharmed? THey’re just brilliant. 11.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit Drama series. When a student’s body is found dumped in a red-light district, the team discovers that the woman was heavily involved in gambling. The trail leads to a famous American footballer and an undercover cop. Sounds like a joke. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 (GMT) The Great Artists (x2) 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.00 Football League Weekend 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Gillette Soccer Special 12.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.30 LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x5) 4.45 Sky Sports Classics 5.00 Close
6.15 Merlin Fantasy drama. Uther is captivated by his latest guest, the beautiful Lady Catrina. Arthur is appalled by his father’s flirting, but Merlin is wary for a different reason – he suspects she is really a troll! We’ve all been there. 7.00 Strictly Come Dancing The last 11 celebrities must step up their game to stay in the competition, dancing either a samba or an American smooth, where they can perform lifts without fear of reprimand from the judges. By the end of the show, the two couples with the lowest combined judges’ score and viewers’ votes will perform again in the dance-off. Who will the judges save this week? 9.00 The National Lottery Draws Live from Lottery HQ with the weekend draws. Fingers crossed. 9.10 Casualty Drama series. Jay waits for news on Ruth, but what will her reaction be when she wakes? Zoe uncovers a horrible secret about her new relationship, and Polly is given food for thought about her friendship with Alistair. 10.00 BBC News 10.15 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents highlights from the day’s Barclays Premier League games. 11.30 The Football League Show 12.45am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 1.45 Weatherview 1.50 BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Horrid Henry 9.40 Scratch ‘n’ Sniff’s Den Of Doom 10.10 Planet Sketch 10.20 FILM: Yu-Gi-Oh! (2004) 12.05pm The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 12.35 ITV News And Weather 12.40 FILM: Agatha Christie’s The Man In The Brown Suit (1988) 2.30 FILM: Dennis Strikes Again (1998) 3.55 Meridian News And Weather 4.10 FILM: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999) 5.15 ITV News And Weather 5.30 FILM: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999) 7.00 New You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill is your guide to more camcorder calamities and mobile phone mishaps sent in by viewers. 7.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp See highlights. 8.00 The X Factor The 10 remaining acts battle it out to win the public’s votes and stay in the competition. Today’s theme is Big Band, which means the contestants must face the challenge of singing with a full orchestra. How will they get on? Who will Razzle Dazzle and who will be Mister Cellophane? Honestly, it’s not just songs from Chicago. Get voting dudes and dudettes! 10.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Katherine Jenkins Piers Morgan’s chats with classical songstress, Katherine Jenkins. She talks movingly about her eating disorder, the drugs scandal that could have wrecked her career, and the death of her father. 11.00 ITV News And Weather 11.15 FILM: My Little Eye (2002) Horror. Five contestants agree to live and be filmed in a remote house for six months. The prize is a million dollars, but there is a catch – if one of them leaves, then they all forfeit the cash. Oh, and there’s a killer. Ow. 1.05am FILM: Balto III: Wings Of Change (2004) 1.30 (GMT) Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.25 (GMT) Crossing Jordan 3.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Football League: Championship 7.30 LIVE Rugby Union 9.30 Archipelago Raid 10.00 International Rugby League 12.00pm Kiteboard Pro World Tour 12.30 Archipelago Raid 1.00 Rugby Union 3.00 LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 5.30 Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 7.00 NFL London - Preview 7.30 LIVE: International Rugby League 10.00 Guinness Premiership Rugby 12.00am NFL London - Preview 12.30 International Rugby League 1.55 LIVE Motor Racing: A1 Grand Prix 5.00 NFL London -– Preview 5.30 Archipelago Raid
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Friday Fight Night 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 5.00 WWE: Smackdown 7.00 LIVE: Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE: Spanish Football 11.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.00am WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 NFL London – Preview 2.30 LIVE International Cricket
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1.00pm Don’t Forget The Lyrics 2.00 The Real A & E 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Grease: The School Musical (x2) 5.30 The Simpsons (x2) 6.30 Futurama 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 UK Border Force (x2) 11.00 Road Wars 12.00am Night Cops
7.00pm Merlin: Secrets And Magic 7.10 Top Gear 8.10 The Real Hustle On Holiday (x2) 9.10 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 10.00 FILM: Camp Rock (2008) 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Harper’s Island (x2) 1.40 Harper’s Island Solved 1.10 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 1.55 The Real Hustle On Holiday
7.00pm Art Deco Icons 7.30 The Scarlet Pimpernel 9.00 Terror! Robespierre And The French Revolution 10.30 Men In The City: Storyville 11.30 Krautrock: The Rebirth Of Germany 12.30am Kraftwerk: Minimum-Maximum 1.30 Men In The City: Storyville 1.30 Krautrock: The Rebirth Of Germany
3.15pm All Star Family Fortunes 4.00 Gossip Girl 4.50 Paris Hilton’s American Best Friend Forever 5.50 FILM: Twins (1988) 8.00 Too Fat To Toddle 9.00 New Homes From Hell 2009 10.00 The Xtra Factor 11.00 Fearne And... Paris Hilton 12.00am Jack Osbourne: Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie
1.05pm Kavanagh QC 2.50 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.55 FILM: Murder, She Wrote: South By Southwest (1997) 5.45 Inspector Morse 8.00 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 A Touch Of Frost 10.40 Vincent 12.10am Kavanagh QC 1.40 Inspector Morse 2.25 On The Buses 2.50 Film File 3.00 Teleshopping
12.50pm The Hills (x3) 2.20 Hollyoaks 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 David Blaine: Frozen In Time. See highlights. 10.00 FILM: School Of Rock (2003) 12.10am Wife Swap USA 1.10 Gok’s Fashion Fix 1.10 How To Look Good Naked 2.05 Supernanny US (x2)
1.45pm FILM: Sword Of Sherwood Forest (1960) 3.25 3 Minute Wonder: Shoeshine Stories (x2) 3.35 Grand Designs 4.40 Grand Designs Revisited 5.45 Grand Designs (x3) 9.00 The World’s Greatest Comedy Characters 12.10am Bill Bailey: Tinselworm 1.15 Time Team (x2)
11.00am The Fighting Kentuckian (1949) 12.55pm Terry Gilliam Interview 1.00 Holy Man (1998) 3.10 Comanche (1956) 4.55 Fun In Acapulco (1963) 6.50 Last Holiday (2006) 9.00 The Sum Of All Fears (2002) 11.20 The Messengers (2007) 1.05am The Eye (2002)
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sunday 25 Life BBC1, 6pm David Attenborough does what he does best and explains the entire world to us, making it all incredibly interesting at the same time. No focussing on the lions and ignoring the gerbils here. Tonight it’s the turn of reptiles and amphibians. Keep an eye out for the kimono dragons hunting the water buffalo. Wow.
Nick Hornby: The South Bank Show ITV1, 10.15pm The founding father of bloke lit talks to Melvyn Bragg about his latest two projects – a novel, ‘Juliette Naked’, and the screenplay of the film ‘An Education’, adapted from a short memoir by Lynn Barber. Not fogetting, of course, his entire career and film collaorations.
Privileged E4, 7pm Oh, how the other half live. But my, how they suffer. Well, actually it’s the supposed regular-half that’s suffering as Will advises Megan to stop sorting out her family’s problems after her mother leaves town. You know, if she wasn’t so darn pretty they’d probably just call her a busybody and have done with it.
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6.00am Breakfast 6.45 MotoGP 2009: Round 16 - Sepang 8.00 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Cash In The Attic 1.45 Murder, She Wrote 2.30 EastEnders 4.25 Lifeline 4.35 Points Of View 4.50 Songs Of Praise 5.30 BBC News 5.45 South East Today
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 7.00 Uncle Max 7.10 OOglies 7.25 Diddy Dick And Dom 7.30 Prank Patrol 8.00 Da Dick And Dom Dairies 8.30 M.I. High 9.00 The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Escape To The Country 12.15pm Animal Park 12.45 MotoGP: Malaysian Grand Prix 2.00 Rugby League: Four Nations 3.00 FILM: Land Of The Pharaohs (1955) 4.40 Flog It! 5.10 Meerkat Manor 5.35 Meerkat Manor
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Paz 9.35 Captain Mack 9.50 Emu 10.05 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 10.35 Tricky Quickies 10.40 Coronation Street Omnibus 12.55pm ITV News And Weather 1.00 FA Cup 1st Round Draw 1.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 2.00 Columbo: Sex And The Married Detective 4.00 FILM: The Man With The Golden Gun (1974)
6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 8.00 The Brain Cell 8.30 Freesports On 4 9.00 Friends 9.30 Hollyoaks 12.05pm 90210 1.00 Rimmel London Presents The World’s Greatest Pop Star: Take That 2.05 Friends 2.40 Ugly Betty 3.35 The Simpsons 4.10 The Simpsons 4.40 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Scrapheap Challenge
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice (x2) 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 12.30pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday (x2) 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE: Spanish Football 10.00 Football First: Match Choice 11.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 12.00am WWE Bragging Rights - Live 3.00 Football First: Match Choice 4.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.00 Wild Spirits 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial
6.00 Life See highlights. 7.00 Countryfile Matt Baker and Julia Bradbury are in Lancashire, exploring the Forest of Bowland, where the leaves are in their full autumn glory. That’d be brown then. 8.00 Antiques Roadshow Objects fascinating the experts include an ugly brown jug with a handsome valuation, a stunning and rare silver salver, and a long case clock arrives in unexpected fashion. You know you’re just hoping that your ‘thingy’ from the cupboard will turn up and provide you with a pension. Fess up. 9.00 Emma Period drama. What was intended as a day of fun turns into a day of agony for everyone on the Box Hill excursion. Things come to a head when, egged on by Frank, Emma behaves very badly, insulting Miss Bates. Bad Emma! 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow comic guests tonight are Tom Stade, Steve Hughes and Paul Tonkinson, with the magnificent Shappi Khorsandi headlining. 11.05 FILM: Ruthless People (1986) Starring Danny DeVito, Bette Midler, Judge Reinhold, Helen Slater. Slapstick comedy about a bungled kidnapping. 12.35am Weatherview 12.40 Sign Zone: Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers 1.10 Defying Gravity 1.55 Holby City (x2) 3.55 BBC News
6.00 Teaching Awards 2009 Join Jeremy Vine and Christine Bleakley at the Theatre Royal Drury Lane for a celebration of exceptional and inspirational teachers from all over the UK. The outstanding teachers will be presented with their prestigious awards by an array of stars from the world of television and film. 7.00 Top Gear Motoring magazine show. Richard Hammond drives a Formula One car and Jeremy Clarkson and James May search for the first car with the control layout we know today. 8.00 Ray Mears Northern Wilderness It’s Northern. It’s Ray. It’s got wilderness. You get the idea. 9.00 Charley Boorman: Sydney To Tokyo By Any Means Charley is reeling from the disappointment of having to catch another commercial flight in order to reach the Philippines. He touches down, embarking on an epic journey across the Philippine Archipelago. 10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Adrian Chiles presents highlights from four Premier League games. 11.00 Smokey Robinson: Electric Proms 2009 The last night of the Electric Proms stars American soul legend Smokey Robinson in a special celebration of 50 years of Motown. 12.00am American Football 1.00 BBC News
6.15 Meridian News; Weather 6.30 ITV News And Weather 6.45 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Repeat. 7.15 All Star Family Fortunes Actress Hannah Waterman teams up with her actor husband Ricky Groves, actress mum Patricia Maynard and their family to battle it out against The X Factor star Ray Quinn and clan. Quite handy considering the next programme is... 8.00 The X Factor Join Dermot live for the results of the public vote. The two acts with the lowest number of votes must perform again in the final showdown. Then the judges will decide who stays to sing another day. No mention of Ray Quinn. And our hopes were raised THAT high after the scheduling hint. Sigh. 9.00 Doc Martin Lighthearted drama. Martin disagrees with the holistic approach to care advocated by the village’s midwife, and is incensed when her advice to Louisa has an adverse reaction. 10.00 ITV News And Weather 10.15 Nick Hornby: The South Bank Show See highlights. 11.15 Guinness Premiership Rugby Craig Doyle and Martin Bayfield present action from round six of the Guinness Premiership. 12.10am The Other Side 1.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.30 Kojak 2.25 Heart Of The Matter: Tonight 2.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 Not Forgotten: The Men Who Wouldn’t Fight Ian Hislop explores the stories of various conscientious objectors during the First World War and asks whether we should honour those who had the courage not to fight too. 8.00 Come Dine With Me Reality series in which people compete to be the best dinner-party host. Four competitive cooks from Macclesfield get cooking. Handyman Dave Freel hopes to nail his night with his gastro pub-inspired grub. Wait for the venom to fly when the others see that menu. 9.00 FILM: John Tucker Must Die (2006) Starring Jesse Metcalfe, Brittany Snow, Ashanti, Sophia Bush and Arielle Kebbel. Teen romantic comedy. Three jilted teenage girls join forces to set up their serial cheat ex-boyfriend. 10.40 Star Stories Comedy series reimagining the lives celebrities. This episode spoofs Peter Andre and Jordan’s romance. 11.15 Magners Brighton Comedy Festival A ‘best of’ show marking the festival’s eighth year. Though not everyone here was on this year. Hm. 12.20am My Name Is Earl (x2) 1.15 FILM: Four Minutes (2006) 3.10 Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip 3.50 Invasion 4.30 St Elsewhere 5.20 Countdown
6.00 – 7.35am Children’s television 7.35 The Milkshake! Show 8.00 Noddy In Toyland 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 8.45 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 Little Princess 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Everybody Hates Chris 10.25 The Great South Run 12.00pm Megastructures: Built From Disaster 1.00 FILM: Fools’ Parade (1971) 2.50 FILM: Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (2004) 4.40 FILM: Superman II (1980) 7.00 Five News 7.10 FILM: Men In Black (1997) Starring Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith, Linda Fiorentino, Vincent D’Onofrio, Rip Torn. Spectacular sci-fi comedy about secret agents who police aliens living on Earth, ensuring that they remain undetected. New recruit J and his partner K must find and stop an intergalactic terrorist bent on assassinating two ambassadors from opposing galaxies before they can make peace. 9.00 FILM: Bad Boys II (2003) Starring Martin Lawrence, Will Smith, Gabrielle Union, Jordi Molla and Peter Stormare. Adrenalinepumping thriller in which two wisecracking cops are hired to investigate an ecstasy distribution ring in Miami. Their search leads to a vicious drug lord whose control of the city has sparked an underground war. Gunfights and explosions galore. Will Smith’s just having all the fun this Sunday. Ka-pow! 11.50 FlashForward Sci-fi drama about a mysterious event that causes the population of the entire world to black out simultaneously. Another chance to catch last Monday’s episode. In case you missed the half a dozen other repeats. 12.50am Urban Legends 4.40 NFL Classics 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Spanish Football 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Seamaster Sailing 12.00pm LIVE European Tour Golf 4.00 Seamaster Sailing 4.30 LIVE NFL In London 8.10 LIVE: NFL 11.30 Golf Night 1.30am Seamaster Sailing 2.00 International Cricket 4.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am LIVE International Cricket 12.00pm NFL London – Preview 12.30 International Rugby League 2.00 Gillette World Sport 2.30 Seamaster Sailing 3.00 NFL London – Preview 3.30 International Cricket 5.30 LIVE NASCAR 10.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.00 WWE Experience 12.00am Spanish Football 2.00 Close
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2.00pm Project Runway 3.00 Bones 4.00 UK Border Force 5.00 Grease: The School Musical 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 Gladiators: The Legends’ Last Stand 7.00 Grease: The School Musical 7.30 Modern Family 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 House 10.00 Fringe 11.00 Bones 12.00am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Greatest Moments 8.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.00 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 10.00 Family Guy 10.25 American Dad (x2) 11.05 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.35 The World’s Strictest Parents 12.35am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps
7.00pm Tamara De Lempicka, Hollywood’s Deco Diva 7.30 Jacques Henri Lartigue: The Boy Who Never Grew Up 8.00 A Tale Of Two Britains 9.00 The Real Cabaret 10.00 Spiral II 10.55 It’s Only A Theory 11.25 The Genius Of Photography 12.25am FILM: Cabaret (1972) 2.25 The Real Cabaret
1.00pm FILM: Twins (1988) 3.10 FILM: Peter Pan (2003) 5.20 New You’ve Been Framed! 5.55 FILM: Wild Wild West (1999) 8.00 Coleen’s Real Women 9.00 The Xtra Factor 10.00 Trinity 11.00 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 12.00am Fearne And... Paris Hilton 1.00 The X Factor 2.05 The Xtra Factor
1.55pm Rising Damp 2.20 Inspector Morse 4.20 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 6.20 The Forsyte Saga 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 FILM: The Constant Gardener (2005) 11.35 Profiling PD James 12.35am Life 1.20 PD James: Devices And Desires (x2) 3.10 On The Buses 3.40 Emmerdale Omnibus
2.15pm Reaper 3.10 Reaper 4.05 Beauty And The Geek 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Ugly Betty 7.00 Privileged. See highlights. 8.00 One Tree Hill 9.00 Friends (x2) 10.00 FILM: Final Destination 2 (2002) 11.50 Russell Brand Doing Life 2007 12.50am Wife Swap USA1.45 Supernanny US 2.30 Gok’s Fashion Fix
1.50pm How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 4.40 Celebrity Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.30 Jamie At Home 8.00 River Cottage: Gone Fishing 9.00 Heston’s Medieval Feast 10.00 Secret History 11.10 Father Ted 11.40 Hung 12.25am Curb Your Enthusiasm 1.00 Deal Or No Deal 1.45 River Cottage: Gone Fishing
11.00am Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye (1950) 1.00pm Time Bandits (1981) 3.15 Terry Gilliam Interview 3.20 Dragoon Wells Massacre (1957) 5.00 The Silent Enemy (1958) 7.10 Just Married (2003) 9.00 The Transporter (2002) 10.45 The Good Girl (2002) 12.30am Scenes From A Marriage (1974)
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monday 26 Make Me An Apprentice: Tonight ITV1, 8pm With youth unemployment at just under a million, for many this will not have been the start of the working week. Fiona Foster follows three young chaps after steady employment as a baker’s assistant, up against 250 other applicants. Lord Sugar and other experts offer their advice.
Race And Intelligence: Science’s Last Taboo Channel 4, 9pm In 2007 Nobel prize-winning US scientist James Watson was quoted referring to research suggesting that black people were less intelligent than other races. Not surprisingly, the reaction was strong. Rageh Omaar talks to scientists on both sides of the argument.
Film: All About Eve Film 4, 4.20pm Winner of six Oscars, this classic Bette Davis flick tells the story of a successful actress who is at first flattered by the attentions of the young Anne Baxter. Insinuating herself into her idol’s life, Baxter plays the naive wideeyed admirer – but is she manipulating events towards her own goals?
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 What’s New Scooby Doo? 3.45 Bernard 3.50 OOglies 4.05 School Of Silence 4.35 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Arthur 8.15 What’s New Scooby Doo? 8.35 Zombie Hotel 9.00 Prank Patrol 9.30 Frankenstein’s Cat 9.40 Frankenstein’s Cat 9.50 League Of Super Evil 10.00 Trapped 10.30 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 10.40 Gastronuts 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Living In The Sun 2.30 Animal Park 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman returns with all the backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action from the world of Strictly Come Dancing. 7.00 Coal House At War It’s not just the coal-mining men who are finding it hard to reach their targets. It’s a hard knock life. 7.30 An Island Parish Series charting a year in the life of the remote Isles of Scilly. 8.00 University Challenge It’s an all Cambridge affair as Christ’s College Cambridge play Emmanuel College Cambridge for a place in the second round of the competition. 8.30 Restaurant In Your Home Tempers fray at not very good food. 9.00 The World’s Greatest Money Maker: Evan Davis Meets Warren Buffett Warren Buffett is the greatest investor of all time and his stock market exploits have made him the richest person in the world. But Buffett lives modestly in Omaha. Evan Davis finds out about his investment strategy and his eccentric lifestyle. 10.00 Have I Got News For You The popular news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Charley Boorman: Sydney To Tokyo By Any Means More motorbiking around the world. 12.20am BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.05am The Treacle People 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 The McCain Track And Field Show 9.30 Friends 10.00 FILM: Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow (2004) 11.55 John And Karen 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Celebrity Life Skills 12.40 Back To You 1.10 FILM: Cutthroat Island (1995) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Debbie discovers Charity’s true intentions. Moira helps Marlon through his divorce. How? 7.30 Coronation Street Who catches Molly and Kevin kissing? Ooh, this’ll be juicy. At last it’s coming out. 8.00 Make Me An Apprentice: Tonight See highlights. 8.30 Coronation Street Will Maria tell Carla about her engagement to Tony? Probably not a good idea. 9.00 Murderland Second of the three-part crime thriller set in two timeframes from three different perspectives. A grown up Carol demands answers from DI Hain, who now relives that murderous night 15 years ago as the detective in charge of the case. Hain reveals a completely different story and new clues and secrets that the young Carrie did not see. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Crank (2006) Starring Jason Statham, Amy Smart, Jose Cantillo. Outrageous action thriller. An ex-hitman is injected with a mysterious cocktail of drugs by his arch-rival that will kill him if his heart rate drops below a certain level. 12.10am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.05 Loose Women 1.55 The Jeremy Kyle Show 2.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Frankie is desperate to have her family back together, and now that Jake is out, she just needs Newt back. All Newt needs is his pills back. Please? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Dispatches: Do You Know What’s In Your Breakfast? Documentary. Journalist Jane Moore reveals how nutritious the nation’s breakfasts really are and probes the marketing techniques employed by the lucrative cereal and yoghurt industries. 9.00 Race And Intelligence: Science’s Last Taboo See highlights. 10.20 Ugly Betty Drama series about an ordinary-looking secretary working for a fashion mag. The Suarez family try to buy their home. Meanwhile, the staff of Mode are still reeling. They love to fish, that lot. 11.20 Wife Swap USA American version of the hit Wife Swap series. The Starling family from Florida, who are devoted to son Justin’s dreams of motocross championship, swap with the Sweany-Ernst family, who perform pagan rituals and talk to vegetables and trees. Say what?! 12.15am No Angels 1.20 FILM: Ramchand Pakistani (2008) 3.15 FILM: Mrs Pollifax - Spy (1971) 5.05 St Elsewhere 5.55 The Treacle People
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.38 Milkshake! Show Songs 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Diet Doctors: Inside & Out 12.40pm Five News 12.50 How To Be A Property Developer 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.00 The Family Recipe 3.10 FILM: Reversible Errors (2004) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Miles confronts Sid about Nicole. 6.25 Live From Studio Five 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn discovers how pencils are made, learns how to pilot a cargo ship into Sydney Harbour, and delves into the secrets of the modern golf ball. S’full of elastic bands. Sure of it. 8.00 The Gadget Show Suzi and Ortis prepare for Halloween by setting up their own haunted castle. Using the latest automation sensors and special effects, they attempt to scare a celebrity guest. Better not be Yvette Fielding. Most Haunted my...! 9.00 FlashForward Sci-fi drama. Mark is questioned about his flashforward during a Senate Intelligence Committee hearing. Elsewhere, Janis is forced to examine the future of her current romantic relationship. 10.00 America’s Toughest Prisons Unlocking the truth about some of America’s most notorious prisons. 11.00 Ross Noble’s Australian Trip Ross visits the largest open-cast mine in the world at Kalgoorlie, samples sheep’s brains and pigs’ nipples in Esperance and meets some cheeky dolphins in Bunbury. 12.00am Disorderly Conduct 12.55 SuperCasino 3.00 NASCAR Sprint Cup 3.55 Race And Rally UK 4.45 Motorsport Mundial 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Football First: Match Choice 10.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 11.00 Spanish Football 1.00pm Football First: Match Choice 2.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.00 Spanish Football 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 SPL Round-Up 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE: Football League: Championship 10.15 Time Of Our Lives 11.15 Netbusters 11.45 SPL Round-Up 12.15am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.15 Football League: Championship 2.45 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.15 Sports Unlimited 4.15 Watersports World 5.15 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out Armed with fresh evidence, Glenn Campbell traces the disappearance of Lord Lucan. Has anyone seen Mr Blobby lately? 8.00 EastEnders Heather and Baby George’s return to the Square puts pressure on the father – but will he face up to his responsibilities? 8.30 Panorama Are we safe from dangerous prisoners released back onto our streets? An investigation reveals that known sex offenders and violent offenders are committing more serious crimes, including rape and murder, on their release from prison than the government tells us. 9.00 Life David Attenborough looks at how mammals dominate the planet through having warm blood and by the care they lavish on their young. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show The award-winning host continues his anarchic talk show. 11.20 The Apprentice USA Very important and clever people try and get a job with Donald Trump. Don’t call him ‘Wiggy’. 12.05am The Apprentice USA 12.50 Weatherview 12.55 Sign Zone: An Island Parish 1.25 Defying Gravity 2.05 Watchdog 3.05 Masterchef The Professionals 3.50 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 Seamaster Sailing 7.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 Adrenaline Adventures 10.30 Seamaster Sailing 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm NFL Gameday 1.30 A1 GP 3.30 NASCAR 6.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 7.00 NFL Gameday 8.30 Max Power 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 Poker 11.30 Sailing: Med Cup 12.30am Formula Kart Stars 1.00 Wild Spirits 1.30 Poker 3.00 Sailing: Med Cup 4.00 Spruce Meadows
Sky Sports 3 8.00am The Premier League Years 10.00 WWE The Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Afterburn 12.00pm WWE Vintage Collection 1.00 WWE Experience 2.00 WWE The Bottom Line 3.00 WWE Afterburn 4.00 WWE Vintage Collection 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 WWE Smackdown 9.00 WWE Bragging Rights 12.00am WWE Vintage Collection 1.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 3.15 Formula Kart Stars
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
BBC3
BBC4
ITV2
ITV3
E4
More4
Film4
1.00pm Project Runway 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 5.00 Futurama 5.30 Futurama 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 A Child Frozen In Time 10.00 UK Border Force 11.00 Stargate Universe 12.00am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Merlin 7.45 Merlin: Secrets And Magic 8.00 The Real Hustle On Holiday 8.30 Dont Get Screwed 9.00 Gavin And Stacey (x2) 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Coming Of Age 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Dont Get Screwed 12.15am How Not To Live Your Life 12.45 Gavin And Stacey (x2) 1.45 Don’t Tell The Bride
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Inside Antiques 8.00 The Twenties In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn 9.00 Glamour’s Golden Age 10.00 FILM: The Cotton Club (1984) 12.00am Feasts 1.00 Feasts 2.00 Feasts 3.00 Glamour’s Golden Age
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 Benidorm 11.00 FILM: Miami Vice (2006) 1.35am Coronation Street (x2)
2.10pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.15 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.15 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.15 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Jeeves And Wooster 9.00 Live The Dream... As Seen On Screen 10.00 Taggart 11.00 The Bill: That’s Love For You 12.10am Kavanagh QC
1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Being Erica 11.00 Skins 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.00 How I Met Your Mother 1.25 Being Erica 2.10 Skins
2.30pm The Coach Trip 3.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Seven Ages Of Love 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 Without A Trace 11.00 The Closer 12.00am Saving Grace
11.00am The Arsenal Stadium Mystery (1939) 12.45pm Beware, My Lovely (1952) 2.15 Dragonwyck (1946) 4.20 All About Eve (1950). See highlights. 7.00 Ladies In Lavender (2004) 9.00 Hero (2002) 10.55 Wicker Park (2004) 1.10am La Antena (2007)
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