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10/23/09
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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
ATTERS MATTERS
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★
Frangi meets the moustache page 8
27 Oct – 2 Nov 2009
FREE WEEKLY
wave thly
Your mon hy guide to hea0lt living p2
Having a ball Float in the moonlit sky at the Chestnut Tree House Snowman fundraiser page 13
CHOREOGRAPHER BEN WRIGHT on George Clooney, Bette Midler and the Queen VILLAGE PEOPLE The Rottingdean scene FINE DINING Andrew Kay at Gravetye Manor
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003_LS447_contents
10/23/09
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welcome
L7 CONTENTS 04 NEWS & COMMENT 4 Social Diary Jeweller Jeremy Hoye and the Brighton Marathon 5 City Speak Seann’s farewell column; Will gets swine flu 5 Competitions Brand New Heavies tix, Night Of The Living Dead Blu-ray 6 News Andrea Waddell remembered; Councillor Mary Mears 6 Latest Inbox Readers’ letters 7 Bookings Paul McCartney, Editors, Armstrong & Miller, 2ManyDJs 7 Latest Brighton Download Chart Who’s at number one this week? 8 Snap Shots Moustache-aficionado Michael ‘Atters’ Attree 9 Celebcity The new New Order hit town, Les Dennis does karaoke 10 Bare Cheek Celebrity spotting with a Queen’s Park squirrel 10 Astral Angi The stars come over all horticultural
09
11 L7 INTERVIEW Brighton choreographer Ben Wright on meeting Bette Midler in his PJs, choreographing the Queen’s birthday party – and what is so special about a ring of 50 chairs
13 LIFESTYLE 13 Cover feature The Bill star Ben Richards on Chestnut Tree House 15 Rottingdean special The sleepy picturesque village is waking up 21 Space Barry Cryer on I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue 23 Wave A wholesome Halloween; organic hair care; Aloka 26 Hotlist 21 great restaurants and coffee shops 27 Food & Drink The first partridge of the season at Gravetye Manor
11
L7 Don’t miss...
29 WHAT’S ON
Production Director Fiona McTernan Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Bella Todd, Latest 7 Editor
Time Warp World Record Attempt 31 October, Brighton seafront Join Richard O’Brien and – if all goes to plan – over 1,500 other Rocky Horror Show fans in what organisers hope will be the biggest, Halloween-fuelled display of synchronised pelvic-thrusting the world has ever seen.
29 Stage EastEnders and Corrie stars get their tap shoes on 30 Music & Clubs Interview: Mercury-nominees Sweet Billy Pilgrim 22 Events The Halloween Fashion Ball 22 Art Brighton’s Aids Memorial sculptor Romany Mark Bruce 33 Film Fantastic Mr Fox hits the big screen 34 Comedy Last chance to catch the Brighton Comedy Fringe 34 Gay Your seven-day Gay listings guide 35 Reviews Rhod Gilbert, Rain Man, Frisky And Mannish 26 Sport & TV Tony Marks’ football column; seven-day TV listings
Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay
It’s been quite a year for Seann Walsh. Since he started writing his weekly column for L7 back in January, the Brighton stand-up has been named Chortle Best Newcomer and Leicester Comedy Festival Comedian Of The Year, and recently brought the house down on the BBC’s Mock The Week simply by emitting what has been described as a “weird but awesome noise”. Naturally, London called, and this is Seann’s last issue before he moves to the big smoke to live in a boat (yes, really, damn him) and join the likes of Julie Burchill and Mark Kermode in the annals of past L7 contributors. But fear ye not. For the last month we’ve been asking readers to submit their own sample columns, and from next week we’ll be printing some of the entries, Columnist Idol-stylee. If you think you have a strong personal voice and a fresh perspective on Brighton, there’s still time to email in your 450 words: bella@thelatest.co.uk. Who knows, maybe it could be you making weird but awesome noises on national TV next year. Elsewhere in the mag we chat to Brighton choreographer Ben Wright ahead of his groundbreaking new dance show; Jeff Hemmings talks toilet seats with Mercury 2009 nominees Sweet Billy Pilgrim; we have an interview with comedian Barry Cryer prior to his appearance at November’s The Space; and The Bill’s Ben Richards waxes lyrical about his favourite charity, Chestnut Tree House. You’ll also find a special area feature on Rottingdean, which is blasting away its reputation as the village that inspired The League Of Gentlemen with a plethora of art cafes, boutiques and picturesque pubs.
Latest 7 Editor Bella Todd Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker Sub Editors Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell
Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Staff Writers Nick Aldwinckle (Music) Pearl Bates (Events) Jaime Pettit (Clubs) Editorial Assistant Sian Disson
Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Steve Sawyer Andrew Wright Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi
Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless
01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.
004_LS447_Social Diary
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10/23/09
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LATEST DIARY
Latest diary Tim Richardson snaps jeweller Jeremy Hoye and the Brighton Marathon Partner Launch Ray Sunshine Kitty Henry (Brighton Marathon) Benoit Jeannot (Royal Albion Hotel)
Tim Hutchings (Brighton Marathon)
On your marks... Emma Saxby (Interior Designer) Roberto Germain, Janet Littlewood (Stylist)
Visit Brighton
Jeweller in the crown I was delighted to be invited along to Jeremy Hoye’s exclusive preview evening for his three new collections this month. All the collections were available for purchase on the night with an enticing 20 per cent discount. Some of the best canapÊs in town were supplied by Gars Restaurant and washed down with a selection of champagne and beer from Asahi.
Amanda Blanch (Blanch House) Chris Edwardes (The Hanbury Club)
Karyn Kelley (Have a Heart) Sophie Randles (Have a Heart)
Natasha Barr, Kate Statham, James, Aaron Weald, Jeremy Hoye, Maija Zarins (Jeremy Hoye)
Entries for the inaugural Brighton Marathon closed at 8am on 1 October. On the same day at Life Bar, the Marathon Charity Partner Launch took place with over 130 charity partners on board, from minute local charities, to global organisations which are household names. The marathon takes place on 18 April 2010. For more info visit www.brightonmarathon.co.uk
Mark Brewer Emma Fletcher (JBPR)
005_LS447_Seann/Will/Comps
10/23/09
9:18 AM
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CITY SPEAK 05
Seann
Will
Seann Walsh waves a tear-sodden hanky to you all
Will Harris gets swine flu – yes, real swine flu
T
ell, the sucker finally got me. Oink oinkety oink. Forgive my ‘The End Is Nigh’ posturing, but – since witnessing first hand the speed with which the H1N1 virus tore through my office last week – I’m now firmly convinced it’s no longer a case of whether each of us will get swine flu this winter, but when we get it. It happened so fast. On Monday the girl next to me was complaining of a sore neck, by Wednesday the whole office was apparently like the Marie Celeste with photocopiers. And I say apparently because on Wednesday I wasn’t actually in the office. On Wednesday I was flat on my back in the pitch dark, fingernails scratching at the coffin lid while the muffled thud of the gravedigger’s shovel receded above me. By the way, before any smartypants pipes up with the immortal words ‘man flu’, I should warn you there’s still an empty packet of Tamiflu beside my bed and I won’t be too particular about where I stick it. This was no more man flu than the things living in the farmhouse at the end of Animal Farm were men. They were pigs with an expense account, and this was pig flu. And it was horrible. But, for all the coughing and sweating and hallucinating that Gregg Wallace off Masterchef was gravely intoning “Bring out your dead!” outside my bedroom door, I’m glad I caught the swine. There’s something oddly cathartic about dragging
here are some things I will not Somehow, I have to replace all miss about Brighton after my this. Opinion is a very personal imminent departure: the area. It's good that our favourite intimidatingly confident swarm of places are different. If they students who absorb the city's jobs weren't, then my favourite places and culture; London Road; that would become too crowded and I'd Italian guy who shouts abuse at you have to go somewhere else. every time you decline to give him What's galling is that it took change, which you only refuse him years to find my routine. While because he shouted abuse at you most people were out working and last time he asked you getting on with actual for change. life, I'd be out in town However, this city is silently reviewing tea “My goodbye my home, and with an equally goodbyes are pretentious friend, to Brighton sentimental affairs. internalising a has become database of eateries Inevitably, Brightonian symbols have taken on and cafés from which a schmaltzy, a sudden significance, to observe the world, and my prolonged all the time avoiding wistful version goodbye to Brighton has any substantial become a schmaltzy, engagement with it. of the usual wistful version of the It takes time to get usual routine. So, each to know a place well routine” visit to my favourite enough to feel part of cafés, pubs and it. At least I know I'm restaurants feels more meaningful going somewhere good. London, in than it does routine, even though all its vastness and variety, is it's what I've been doing every day open to anyone willing to put the for as long as I care to remember. effort into fitting in there. I now have the job of replacing But I'd rather not think about these old haunts in a new place. Si London just yet. I'd rather live out Signore on Sydney Street is a daily these final days as normal, doing fixture, and I've never found the routine things and enjoying anywhere that does better coffee. The every last moment as a resident of Roundhill Tavern on Ditchling Road is Brighton. When I come back to the best place for a Sunday Roast in visit, I can only assume it will still Brighton. On a night out in town, I feel like home. But in the struggle to imagine not going to the meantime, I have to find my café Wagon & Horses. Sunday evenings and my pub in London. This could aren't the same without Komedia. take years.
W
yourself back from a prolonged period of sickness and rejoining society. It’s like being reborn. Everything hurts and you’re covered in gunk, but my God the world looks beautiful. The first shower, the first walk, even that first shaky day back at work; it’s like I had to have my life confiscated for a while before I could really appreciate it.
“The office was like the Marie Celeste with photocopiers” You feel you’ve been given a gift (when technically it’s more like you’ve recovered stolen property), and because of that you want to squeeze the most out of every second. The smell of a baker’s. The shape of a cloud. The rough scrape of brickwork beneath your fingers. It’s entirely possible that being doped up on extra-strength flu medication plays a role in all this, but hey! Why not enjoy it while it lasts? I’ve never bought into the maxim ‘That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. What, after all, about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? But, after my own brush with the Grim Porker, I do believe it can make you wiser, put things into perspective. The bitter taste of illness, it seems, can bring flavour to the blandest of things. And perhaps sometimes we need to die a little to really feel alive.
Fancy yourself as the next Seann or Will? Latest 7 is on the look out for a new Brighton voice. Send a 450 sample column to bella@thelatest.co.uk
COMPETITIONS
WIN!
THE PERFECT STOCKING FILLERS Time for the littlest of ladies to get a treat with the My Little Pony: Twinkle Wish Adventure DVD. Pair that with Pop Party 7, featuring the likes of Lady Gaga, Black Eyed Peas and Pixie Lott, and you’ve got a party in a bedroom waiting to happen. Q Lady Gaga sang ‘Poker...’?
BRAND NEW HEAVIES TICKETS The UK’s premiere funk and soul band The Brand New Heavies are coming to the Concorde 2 on Thursday 12 November, touring their first live album, Live In London. We’ve got three pairs of tickets to win, along with copies of the new CDs. Q A Brand New Heavies hit was ‘Midnight At The...’?
A SLEEPLESS NIGHT One of the scariest films of all time – George’s Romero’s Night Of The Living Dead – came out on Blu-ray this week. Now you can see just how horrible the zombies are in the finest of detail – plus of course all the terror and bleakness of one of a cinematic classic. We’ve got four Blu-rays up for grabs. Q Who directed Night Of The Living Dead?
TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN, EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 9 November.
006_LS447_newsphil/Council
10/22/09
6:16 PM
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06 LATEST NEWS
L7 News
latest inbox comment@thelatest.co.uk
7
days of headlines with Phil Mills
The tragic death – and extraordinarily brave life – of Brighton student Andrea Waddell
A
ll deaths are sad but one currently dominating the news has produced an outpouring of sorrow. Andrea Waddell, found dead in her fire-gutted flat in Upper Lewes Road, Brighton, had suffered most of her 29 years yet continued to treat others with kindness and courtesy. Andrea’s parents, Sonia and Robin, and her brother Nick said: “Our beloved Andrea has been through so much. Born Alexander John, he was diagnosed with scoliosis (severe spinal curvature) at 14, and after surgery he developed fibromyalgia, a permanent condition of chronic pain. “At the same time, Alex bravely took his future into his own hands and saw a psychiatrist about his ambivalent gender feelings. “Whilst studying philosophy at Durham University he began his
hormone treatment, ending his three year course as Andrea Joanna. “Moving on to study a Masters in Brighton, she developed acute ulcerative colitis which nearly killed her, but she was saved by having her colon removed, resulting in an ileostomy (reversed a year later). “During the same year, she could finally have the gender surgery she longed for. Andrea continued to live in Brighton, often incapacitated by pain but fiercely independent. We know she is now finally free of this pain and at peace.” Friends testified to Andrea being a special, loving person. While a man was arrested in connection with her death, our thoughts remain with her family and those who knew her. Onto other news. Bendy buses are set to be tried out in the city by Brighton and Hove Buses, and the city council continues to brighten up eyesores with its charming campaign of putting up large-scale paintings and pictures around sites. The most recent is on the seafront and the land where once stood the Sackville Hotel, which had to be demolished after a
collapse. Latest 7 photographer Stephen Lawrence captured threeyear-old Tyrus as he enjoyed the pictures – and peering through gaps at the exciting mess behind. And on the subject of art, researchers at the University of Brighton are finding a way of capturing art treasures in 3D form to establish a Wikipedia of culture. Professor David Arnold and his researchers are paving the way for art works to be recorded in 3D form so people would be able to see them from every possible angle on their computers. There would be real benefits for those who, for financial or physical reasons, were unable to visit culture centres. And people will be able to see the vast array of treasures currently gathering dust in basements because of lack of display space. Lastly, here’s to Phil Tufnell. Viewers of BBC One’s Strictly Come Dancing have all seen his twinkly toes but how many knew he was also a dab hand with his hands? Ask Julie-Anne Gilburt, who runs the JAG gallery on Brighton seafront where Phil loves to paint. He told Latest 7: “I have always enjoyed my art. It was the only O-level I got at school. I had let it go a bit when cricket got in the way but when I finished playing I took it up again.” Signed prints of his painting of the Union Flag will be sold for the Willow Foundation, a charity which helps young adults with life-threatening illnesses.
Do you have a message of respect for Andrea? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Where did you find Will Harris? I read his column every week and I don’t always agree with what he says but I laugh so much reading it that sort of doesn't matter. I thought his column about Britain’s Got Talent was one of his best so I’d love to know his take on X Factor this year, especially why John and Edward are still in it? Thanks! Emma Beck, by email Will Harris responds: I think Cheryl Cole’s performance did more for sales of hareem pants than MC Hammer managed in the last 20 years, plus hers were slashed at the thigh so extra-fierce. Why aye. Re Andrew Kay’s travel feature on Lefkas [‘Ionian peace’, L7 Travel, 440], we were there in September too. So nice to not have the crowds, the beaches are wonderful and the island has a lot to offer, good walking, ruined monasteries galore. Excellent choice. Travis, via www.latest7.co.uk I just wanted to say well done to Neil Morrissey [‘About a man’, L7 Interview, 444] for not taking the easy way out and going bankrupt. We need more celebrities like him! What he says is true, someone has to step up to the plate when this happens, but you wouldn’t think it would be the celebrity to stand up and take responsibility. Me and my husband went to Rain Man and loved every minute of it, he is a very talented man. Nicola, Hove, by email You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
Pupils from St Peter’s
L
ast week I had the privilege of attending the ceremony for the presentation of the Duke of Edinburgh’s Gold Awards at St James’s Palace in London. The Duke of Edinburgh’s Award charity has been, for many years now, amongst the most successful youth charities in the country. It has the widest participation of any UK youth organisation – 275,000 young people (including 30,000 from disadvantaged backgrounds) undertake their Bronze, Silver or Gold Awards every year. In Brighton and Hove alone, over 75% of our
(particularly in south central Hove) that we are planning to build a new two form entry school in the area and have identified four possible sites for this – Hove Park depot, Hove Park Upper School, BHASVIC and Leicester Villas. I am really pleased with the progress we have made so far but it is obviously not going to happen overnight, especially given some of the national constraints around new schools that we are working under. So, in the short-term, to relieve some of the pressure, we are going to consult on the possibility of expanding Goldstone Primary, Westdene Primary and Queen’s Park Primary. I fully recognise that the current shortage of places has made things very difficult for some parents but I am determined that we put this right as soon as possible. www.hannahbrackenbury.co.uk
Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on local school expansions
Infant School secondary schools participate with around 2,500 young people currently actively involved. Many employers find that the awards are invaluable in terms of equipping potential recruits with essential life skills such as self-confidence, the ability to think laterally and independently, and how to work effectively in a team. I have been to all three ceremonies now – bronze, silver and gold – and it is always wonderful to see first hand the real difference that these programmes have made to young people’s lives. If you are interested in taking part please visit www.brightonandhovedea.org.uk A bit closer to home but still on the subject of young people, last week we set out our plans to increase the provision of primary school places in the city. The demand for new places is now so high
007_LS447_Bookings/chart
23/10/09
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BOOKINGS | CHART
L7 Bookings
07
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
On sale this week… © 2009 MPL Communications Ltd. Photographer: Bill Bernstein
Brighton Download Chart TOP 10 Latest 1 Panos Christofi – If You Do What You Always Do... 2 N-D-E – Bad Habit 3 zoe – Conquistador
Out of town
4 No Sharp Objects – Home 5 Jaybee – Brokeback Mountain 6 BreakinBear – Rebel In Chief 7 No Sharp Objects – The Wrong Kind Of Love 8 Chaos Borne – Watching
PAUL MCCARTNEY
9 The Woo!worths – Idle Hands
O2 Arena, 22 December (Tickets on sale 9am Monday 26 October) www.theo2.co.uk/0844 856 0202 The only UK headline this year (concluding his first European tour in five years) for our very own Sir Paul McCartney. The O2 show will be 46 years to the day since The Beatles played their first Christmas show at Liverpool's Empire Theatre – which, if not exactly an earth-shattering coincidence, is still pretty cool. So what if it’s in London? Give yourself an early Christmas present.
10 Surrender Monkeys– John Agar Was Right
EDITORS Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 20 March 2010, £20, www.brightondome.org/01273 709709 Proving that there’s nothing Brits enjoy more during a recession than gloom-mongering postpunk, this Brummie four-piece have just scored their second Number One album with third LP In This Light And On This Evening.
ARMSTRONG AND MILLER Congress Theatre, Eastbourne, 13 October 2010 £20, www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk/01323 412000 Meet Jilted Jim, Frank Dad and the street-talking WWII pilots in the flesh when the comedy duo – another product of Cambridge Footlights – tour following their second BBC1 sketch series.
SHOWSTOPPER!: THE IMPROVISED MUSICAL Komedia, 27–30 December, £12–£16, www.komedia.co.uk/0845 2938480 Edinburgh fell hard for this hour-long musical built entirely around audience suggestions on the night. The spirit varies from joyful to uproarious, the tone from political satire to parady. Excellent reviews.
Editors
CHRISTY MOORE (+ DECLAN SINNOTT) Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 27 May 2010 £30/27.50, www.brightondome.org/01273 709709 One of Ireland’s most popular singers, formerly of Planxty and Moving Hearts and still a charismatic performer, appears with guitarist Sinnott, who played on Moore’s 2006 LP Live At The Point.
SEAN LOCK De La Warr Pavilion, Bexhill-On-Sea, 13 March 2010, £15, www.dlwp.com/01424 229 111 The 8 Out Of 10 Cats captain tours his new standup show, Lockipedia, on the subject of Sloppy Knowledge or What Seann ‘knows’ about stuff.
2MANYDJS Concorde 2, 10 December, £15 www.concorde2.co.uk/01273 673311 C2 are promising ‘the party of the year’ with this one, and they might not be far off. The beatmashing Belgian brothers are kings of mash-up pop and DJ here following two sell-out nights at Brixton Academy.
THE CHARLIE BOORMAN SHOW Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 11 March 2010 £18.50, www.brightondome.org/01273 70909 Mr Boorman has been many things in his time, from the freaky child Mordred in father John Boorman’s Excalibar to the best buddy of Ewan McGregor, with whom he motorbiked from London to New York in Long Way Round. The actor, author and adventurer here brings a new live show of anecdotes and traveller’s tales.
HAR MAR SUPERSTAR Concorde 2, 12 December, £9 www.concorde2.co.uk/01273 673311 No, he wasn’t just a flash in the pan of the ironyOD-ing late ‘90s. Following a high-cred collaboration with Neon Neon, the electro-pop dude and his pink Y-fronts return to, er, exhibit tracks from new album Dark Touches. Showstopper!
Americana vocalist Zoe’s reign at the top of the charts turns out to be a short one as she gets bumped down to number three this week. Back to number one is ever so slightly camp pop crooner Panos Christofi with his glossy ‘If You Do What You Always Do...’ as the dark, highly enjoyable D’n’B of N-D-E takes two with ‘Bad Habit’. Chart mainstays by ‘60s-style rockers No Sharp Objects and emotive singer-songwriter Jaybee complete the top five rundown.
11 lolatwist Pretty
21 Freudstein Misadventure
12 Mr Resonate Brighton Bubblin
22 jaybee Oskar And Eli
13 The Fooley Mantras Break Away
23Rubber Johnny Fist
14 Thunk Micromophone
24 David Simnel And The Pimpernels Run Mascara Run
15 Mr Resonate Say What You Mean
25 Rubber Johnny Track 5
16 Chaos Borne The Moment
26 Chaos Borne I Will
17 The Mojo Fins In The Script
27 Heavy Load Is Bruce Forsyth Dead?
18 Rubber Johnny Trum Pet
28 David Simnel And The Pimpernels Glycerin Tears
19 EVOH I Love Brighton 20 The Fooley Mantras Best in People
29 Jaybee Crazy Pearl 30 Baxter Standing On The Edge Of The Tide SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos
SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
008_LS447_Snap Shots
10/23/09
12:05 PM
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08 SNAP SHOTS
Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: Michael ‘Atters’ Attree
“
Since Regency times Brighton has been a deliciously demented den of iniquity, which suits me perfectly. Brighton also has some top-notch shops for buying cufflinks and accessories. Jason French at Baroque Jewellery, who’s a superb goldsmith, is currently replicating my ancient Attree coat of arms as a cravat brooch
”
Comedian, broadcaster, moustache-grooming expert and all-round cad Michael Attree test drives his new suit in the North Laine. Atters is on the committee of the Handlebar Moustache Club and claims to spend half an hour a day waxing and twirling. He is also a member of the Sussex Fencing Club who meet at St Marys Church Hall on Surrenden Road, Brighton.
special christmas party nights friday 4th december, saturday 5th december, tuesday 8th december, wednesday 9th december, tuesday 15th december, wednesday 16th december, monday 21st, tuesday 22nd december, wednesday 23rd december with live music from our famous top quality ‘house band’ the lmb all-stars. featuring some of the finest young soul talent around and playing all the soul/funk/pop classics to get you dancing to groove the night away. ~ £25 for our special 3-course xmas menu ~ ~ christmas buffets also available ~ ~ or for those not eating, it’s £6 in advance and £7 on the door ~
diners must book in advance doors 8pm Show 9pm limited places – to book call 01273 687171
manchester street, brighton
tel. 01273 687171
THE REAL
HOUSE OF COMMONS
29 October – 7.30pm A new high profile political club – a cross betwen The Oxford Union & Have I Got News For You
Caroline Lucas – Greens, Simon Burgess – Labour, Maria Caulfield – Conservative Mike Mendoza – UKIP plus special guests
Free
7.30pm
29 Oct
plus comedy plus DJs plus speakers corner!
JOIN THE BRIGHTON DEBATE call Bill on 01273 687171 or email bill@thelatest.co.uk
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
009_LS447_celebcity
10/23/09
12:00 PM
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CELEBCITY 09
SPONSORED BY
Celebcity with Jo Brooks Alan Carr is ‘rubbish’, a new Ex-New Order men getHeather an inviteMills fromplans Dermot andTV showSchool and Norman Cook 2vows toastay put s holiday High The Musical takes busman’
MURDER SHE WROTE Brighton has been featured in a new novel by best-selling author Lesley Pearce. Stolen is all about a woman who is found half-drowned on Brighton Beach. When the incident is featured in a local publication, all hell breaks loose! The book is out in hardback on 28 January 2010, published by Michael Joseph. Lesley is herself the inspiration for the Lesley Pearse Women of Courage Award thanks to her difficult childhood and colourful adult life (including a stint as a Bunny Girl).
LUCKY LES Les Dennis and the rest of the cast from High School The Musical 2 were on a bit of a busman’s holiday when they took time out for a good old sing song in Brighton Karaoke bar Lucky Voice. Les – who plays Mr Fulton the country club owner in the stage version of the Disney hit films – sang the original versions of the greatest hits in their private pod while the cast were drinking Brighton Rocktails.
SPOTTED? Do you recognise this pooch?! Brighton-based artist and celebrity portrait painter Julie-Anne Gilburt has lost her precious dog Bella (a black female, half Chihuahua, half pug) and is appealing for Brightonians’ help in finding her and offering a reward. Call 07810523984/07833374803 if you have any information. Julie-Anne’s star subjects include Michelle Gayle, Mike Tyson and Norman Cook – whom she famously painted with angel wings for the cover of his Greatest Hits album.
SUMNER SINGS FOR HIS (FISH) SUPPER L
ast Tuesday, on a very wet and windy night in Brighton, ex-New Order frontman Bernard Sumner played at Digital with new band Bad Lieutenant. He arrived earlier in the day from Manchester by train (good on you Bernard) and, after soundchecking at the seafront club, headed for a slap up seafood supper at Fishy Fishy. Bernard was on a personal invitation from co-owner and X-Factor presenter Dermot O’Leary. The date was set when Bernard and the band appeared on Dermot’s Saturday afternoon Radio 2 show the previous weekend. Sadly Dermot couldn't attend the dinner but I am told he sent over a bottle of rather expensive champagne to prep the boys for the gig. I was lucky enough to be invited to the gig by my good friend Jayne Houghton from Excess Press, who has represented New Order for many years. A straight-talking northerner, Jayne has a penchant for Madchester Bands as she also represents The Happy Monday’s – and she does it all from Brighton! We watched the show from the balcony and got an amazing view of the band, who played the whole of their new album plus some much anticipated Joy Division and New Order tracks at the end – the crowd lapped it up! The band then sloped off to the Seattle hotel for beers and bed!
SPOTTED! Two of Gresham Blake’s classic country suits on twin models in the new Damien Hurst show at the Wallace Collection in London! Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com
10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of November 2009 excluding Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers
010_LS447_cheeky/stars
8:30 AM
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ONLY JOKING!
10
10/23/09
In & Out
Bare cheek
Special Milkybar Kid edition
Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
What’s not on MULTIPLEX REMAKE CANNILY AIMED AT THE LATE 30/EARLY 40-SOMETHINGS who saw the original at a formative age (PG) 11.00, 1.00, 3.30, 5.00, 7.30, 10.00 AWFUL KEN LOACH FILM none of the critics are brave enough to admit is awful (15) 1.00, 3.30, 5.00, 7.30, 10.00
• The one reputed to have become a truck driver, who hated Milkybars • The one who became an alcoholic • The Spaceman one • The pudgy one • The weirdly feminine one
AMERICAN REMAKE OF SURPRISE EUROPEAN HIT missing out all the nuances and adding lots of expository dialogue for all the thickies in the audience (18) 3.30, 5.00, 7.30, 10.00 FRANCHISE REBOOT that makes you nostalgic for the last franchise reboot (12A) 5.00, 6.30, 8.00, 12.00
DUKE OF LANCASTER’S
BORING SPANISH FILM (15) 7.00, 10.00
VIOLENT FRENCH FILM (15) 2.00, 4.00, 7.00, 9.00
GAYS (15) 7.00, 9.00, 10.30
DIRTY FRENCH FILM (18) 4.00, 8.00, 10.30
OVERRATED OLD FILM (12A) 8.00, 9.30, 12.00
Out • Keith Deller • The animated one • The Indiana Jones one • The freckly one • The ugly one
YET ANOTHER JENNIFER ANISTON ROMANTIC COMEDY that nobody asked for, or wants. And yet here it is (PG) 1.00, 3.30, 5.00, 7.30, 10.00
In
What we used to say
Spotted! Enjoying a picnic with couple of friends... Preston. Wonder if he’s got any nuts on him?
macadamia nuts. I’m not fussy. Enjoying a nice sit down on a bench, reading the paper... Steven Berkoff. His pockets look a bit bulgy. Nuts, I reckon. Maybe I'll zoom over there and regard him with my beady eyes in a cheeky manner. Then he’ll give me some nuts.
Buying an ice cream from the cafe, wrapped up warm and with both kids in tow... Norman Cook and Zoe Ball. I bet they’ve got some nuts. I might scamper over to them in a second and see if they’ll give me one. I bet they will if I do that cute thing with my nose.
Jogging round the park looking rather sweaty... Simon Fanshawe. He’s got to have some nuts on him. I’ll go over and do that thing with my teeth and front paws. That’ll charm him. Unless he gets freaked out by my eerilyunsubstantial-looking tail. Nuts! Come on, hand ’em over.
With a grey squirrel from Queen’s Park
Strolling round the pond while talking loudly on a mobile... Chris Ellison. Any kind of nuts will do. Peanuts, monkey nuts, chestnuts, almonds, walnuts, pine nuts, cashews,
An occasional series in which we struggle to remember the original, simple, once common terms that have been abandoned in favour of ghastly, overblown, crass, managerial Americanisms. WHAT WE SAY NOW: “Feedback” A noun, properly meaning the ugly, incoherent, high-pitched noise produced whenever a microphone is placed too near a speaker, yet now more commonly used to denote “peer reviews” or audience response. WHAT WE USED TO SAY: Thoughts, views or comments.
BARDSLEY’S
Astral Angi
This week Astral finds fate in the flowers
★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}
★CANCER {June 22–July 22}
★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}
★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}
We all have our associated astral flowers and Arians include in their posy thistles, thorned trees and shrubs and hops. A spiky bouquet by any standards, so beware of pricks.
Cancerians have bear’s breeches and morning glory, not an auspicious pairing in any sense: one prickly and hard to get rid of, the other poisonous. You also get the romantic cabbage!
Librans are associated with trees. Yes, and in particular with plums. You also get hydrangeas which can look pretty – if you bury something made of iron under them.
Capricorns should grasp a spray of love lies bleeding, it may sound gruesome but it looks pretty dramatic. You also get heartsease and baby’s breath, what a bunch!
★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}
★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}
★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}
★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}
Taureans should be careful with their astral flower which is foxglove. Don’t dip your digits into digitalis without due care. This is of course balanced by roses and violets so all is not bad.
Leos get sunflowers. Vincent Van Gogh was not a Leo but an Aries but a vase of rams would not have made such a good subject for a still life. His brother was called Theo which sounds like Leo.
Scorpios will not be surprised to know that they are linked to a variety of cacti. It must be so disheartening to be typecast week on week, but what is a girl to do?
Aquarians have golden rod and jack in the pulpit which is also known, rather less glamourously, as the bog onion. I would deny this and cling to orchids, which are also yours.
★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}
★Virgo {Aug 23–Sep 22}
★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}
★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}
Lily of the Valley and maiden head fern are for Geminis – a nicer posy you could not wish to see or smell. But you also have chrysanthemums which can smell of death – yeuk.
Virgo’s flower is narcissus – should I stop now or would you like me to go on? Funnily enough they also have cherry, what a combo for you lovely virginal Virgos.
Sagis are linked to carnations and dandelions. Never was a connection more appropriate – carnations for wreaths and dandelions for bed wetting. Stick to plastic daffodils.
Pisceans have wisteria, willow and water lilies – you also have rhubarb. I love rhubarb with mackerel but have yet to find that on the menu at Bardlsey’s – the rhubarb that is.
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
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2:27 PM
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L7 INTERVIEW 11
THE WRIGHT STUFF From playing the Prince in Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake to his extraordinarily intimate new show, Brighton choreographer Ben Wright has had one hell of a ride. He talks to Bella Todd about back spasms, meeting Bette Midler in his pajamas, and the Queen’s birthday party
B
en Wright leads what “Me and Theo have this mad sometimes strikes him life where every so often we as a rather “bipolar” stumble into the celebrity world, existence. On the one hand, he almost by accident,” says the first became known for his Jerwood award-winning, ‘sensitive, quiet, emotive’ Brighton-based choreographer choreography; on the other, and founder of dance company he’s just put on a show at the bgroup. “Case in point – a few Royal Opera House in which he years ago I choreographed the taught 25 audience members Queen’s birthday party. It was a to disco dance and filled the corporate gig, and me and a stage with glitter balls. friend were asked to pull On the one hand, he and together this team of dancers, his partner regularly rub acrobats and circus people. We shoulders with the stars: weren’t told what it was for. Ben has received dressing “Then, suddenly, we find room visits from George ourselves at Edward and Mrs Clooney and Richard Gere, Simpson's house in Windsor, in while his partner Theo is the middle of the Queen's “I’ve got this photo "like that" with Kylie after birthday party. There was a choreographing the video for of George Clooney great big banquet with Seal... ‘Two Hearts’; on the other, Grace Jones... And I spent the couple have just bought with his arm around most of the time a delapidated cottage down walking around in me, looking all sweaty a DJ with a big the coast in Peacehaven, and can’t wait to be on their walkie talkie and swan-stained” own with just a toolbox and making sure the sea. the dancers On the one hand, Ben’s role as The Prince in were in their cages. Yes, cages. Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake saw him dance for That's definitely the most bizarre thousands a night in the West End and on thing that’s ever happened to me.” Broadway. On the other, he’s just about to debut Ben’s CV is certainly eclectic, About Around, a work in which the audience, taking in performances in Stan Won’t seated in a ring of only 50 chairs, will be close Dance’s Soho bombing piece, Sinner, and enough to feel the dancers’ breath. as the Golden Monkey in the National
Theatre’s stage production of Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials, as well as movement direction for the likes of the Wyndham’s production of As You Like It with Sienna Miller. Next year he’ll be directing movement for Glyndebourne’s new contemporary opera, The Knight Crew, based on the legend of King Arthur, which will use kids from the surrounding area and be filmed for BBC2. And yet he didn’t start dancing ‘til he was 19 – when an influential dance teacher offered to give him a year’s tuition in exchange for his time, “total Billy Elliot-style”. Ben got a job with Ballet Rambert and then, aged 30, found himself helping to create the role of The Prince in Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake – an historic, iconic production in which he also met his partner Theo (who, rather touchingly, was playing a signet). Unfortunately, his late start exacerbated a weakness in his lower back, and on one horribly memorable night, Ben’s back went into spasm just after the Prince had penned his suicide note (“I literally couldn’t stand up – it was like someone had stabbed me in the back. They had to pull the curtain down on me”). But, by and large, Swan Lake sounds like a big, feathery ball. “When we did Swan Lake in LA, the meteroic rise of the show meant that loads of A-listers came to see it,” he recalls. “I was hanging out with George Clooney, Richard Gere, Kirk Douglas. They’d all just come backstage and chat with you. We decided collectively that we should forget about personal dignity and get them to sign everything we had! I’ve got this brilliant photo of George with his arm around me, looking all sweaty and swan-stained. “But the best one was Bette Midler. Her entire family came in and sat down while I was sitting there in my pajamas. I’m a massive fan. I asked her to sign a CD and she said [adopts American accent], “Oh, are you still listening to this s***?” I still haven't framed it. It might seem a little incongruous – I mean, here I am, doing this dark moody piece with loads of chairs, and I've got this signed disc of Bette Midler on the wall!” Ah yes, those chairs – 50 mid-nineteenth century village hall chairs, to be precise, which will form the “highly symbolic” circle in which Ben and bgroup’s intimate new show takes place. "About Around sits somewhere between a Quaker meeting and a circus, those two polar opposites,” says Ben. “And the audience is literally the skin of it. It’s a frightening way to work, but also very exciting.” And how does he think the dance establishment will react to this latest creative curve ball? “If I’m honest, I think the dance establishment might be a bit confused by me. But to me it makes perfect sense. I never want to jump out of the same creative box twice.” About Around is at the Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome on 5 November (7pm and 8.30pm), £12.50/10. www.brightondome.org/ 01273 709709
012_LS447 Specs
10/22/09
2:15 PM
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ÂŁ50 Off on complete glasses Until 31st October Terms and conditions apply. Coupon must be presented at time of sale can not be used retrospectively.
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COVER FEATURE 13
Dancing in the moonlit sky Chestnut Tree House have a fantastic fundraiser planned with their Snowman Spectacular Ball
F
ew words are as emotive as the word hospice but when you couple that with the word children’s it’s hard not to be moved. Chestnut Tree House is a children’s hospice with a huge task to carry out, massive running costs and very little government funding to do it with. As a consequence fundraising plays an enormous part in their day-to-day life.
‘‘The evening will again be a fabulous celebratory event with a drinks reception, a great three-course dinner with wine, entertainment from comedian Mark Watson and music from Dynamo Rhythm Aces. The band are superb, a blend of jazz, swing and rockabilly – but covering classic pop!’’ Chestnut Tree House not only offer residential care for sick children but also a wide range of support services for users across the county. From full medical care to respite cover and simply the opportunity to talk, take a break or sit down for a quiet cup of coffee, Chestnut Tree House put their clients and their families first.
“What they achieve is remarkable, very moving and more than worthy of all our support” ‘‘It would be easy to think that Chestnut Tree House would be a sad, quiet place but on the contrary it is filled with joy. What they achieve is remarkable, very moving and more than worthy of all our support. We all need to make the effort to raise a massive amount of money so that they can
Actor and heart-throb Ben Richards, PC Nate Roberts in TV’s The Bill, was introduced to Chestnut Tree House by his sister, who runs a dance school close by in West Sussex. ‘‘The minute I heard about it and then saw what they do and what they achieve I knew that I wanted to help in any way that I could. Caring for children with serious long term illness, many of whom have a very short life expectancy, is extremely hard but at Chestnut Tree House there is a real atmosphere of happiness. They not only look after the children but also their families, offering massive support at very difficult times.’’ Ben is clearly moved by the work that they do and for that reason has lent his support to their ever growing need to raise money for some time now. This year once again he is hosting the Snowman Spectacular Ball and this time he is joined by Laila Rouass, one of his co-stars from the very popular Footballer’s Wives.
continue with their excellent work. I could ask everyone to simply send a cheque but with a spectacular event like the Snowman Ball we have an opportunity to raise that money in style. ‘‘The hospice is very lucky to have the total support of children’s author and illustrator Raymond Briggs, who allows them to use his iconic images to promote the ball once again. At the start of Christmas what could be better than an evening of top class food and entertainment and at the same time know that you are doing something that will make a real difference to the lives of these young people and their families.’’ Chestnut Tree House is the only children’s hospice in Sussex and needs to raise a massive 90 per cent of the money it needs each year from public and business donations. This year, you too could help make that difference by making a donation or by buying tickets for the ball. Single tickets are priced at £95 each. Tables for ten are priced at £850. For more information call 01903 871817 or email events@chestnut-tree-house.org.uk book online at www.thesnowmanspectacular.org.uk www.chestnut-tree-house.org.uk
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CANCOM BRIGHTON
Can-do attitude Free specialist advice, home installation and Apple products galore at Cancom Brighton
C
ancom Brighton is a great place to buy Apple products, having been an Apple store for over seven years. Located on Queens Road, they provide “an exceptional shopping experience showcasing an outstanding range of Macs, iPods, software, printers, games and accessories – all in a friendly and welcoming environment”. They offer “outstanding service and advice for both consumer and professional users”, as well as a programme of in-store demos and training so you get the most out of your new purchases. A great way to learn about new Apple products is the Personal Shopping service. “Take advantage of free uninterrupted time with one of our knowledgeable specialists who’ll give you a personal demonstration of any Apple product, offer advice and answer questions.” Everyone is doing their bit for the environment in one way or another, including Cancom. “You can save £100 on a Mac with our recycling promotion! Just bring in an old PC or Mac for free recycling and we will give you £100 off a new Mac – Hurry, offer ends 8 November.” If you’re new to Mac then Cancom are here to help. “Join one of our free start-up sessions where we’ll show how easy it is to organise your photos, make a great movie, learn to play piano or design a great website. We’ll arrange a free one-hour session with a Mac specialist to get you up to speed with the latest Apple Mac products and programs. You’ll be a pro in no time!
“As if that’s not enough, we can visit your home and connect a new Mac to your broadband connection and then set up a printer or scanner. You’ll be amazed how quickly we’ll get you up and running. Then marvel at your Mac’s ability to work effortlessly with any piece of hardware.” Cancom’s business-to-business teams are available to discuss delivery, installation, training, data transfer, back-up and more. “We’ll show you how easy it is to run Windows on your Mac alongside Snow Leopard without ever needing to reboot. “Because we’re an Apple Authorised Service Provider, we have fully qualified technicians on-hand to repair your ill Mac or iPod. So there you have it; from window shopping to unboxing, from training to repairing, Cancom are here to make your Mac experience even more enjoyable.” Cancom opening times: Mon–Fri 9am–6pm, Sat 10am–6pm. 110 Queen’s Road, Brighton. Call: 0845 686 3200. www.cancomuk.com
32 Egremont Place, Brighton BN2 OGA Open 10am - 5pm every day
01273 674456 www.homebrighton.co.uk
Supper club 19 November A brilliant night with only 20 people having dinner together in a social way (one big table). You never know who you'll meet, a brilliant way to make new friends, network and who knows what else! The menu will be £25 per person. We will be taking credit card details to secure your bookings.
Please Call Us at HOME if you wish to book for the supper club 01273 674456
Menu
Halloween
Glass of Prosseco on arrival
Tipsy Gypsies have confirmed that they are playing at HOME'S 1st Halloween Party on Saturday 31st Oct. 8pm - 11.30 £3 on the door.
Starter Sharing Platters of Locally Cured Meats, Bruschetta and Home Made Pates, served with a selection of Breads, Home made Red Onion Marmalade and Olives Main Fish Pie - made with Sustainably Caught Fish, Green Beans and Baby Glazed Carrots or Pine Nut, Butternut & Crispy Sage Risotto, Rocket & Parmesan Shavings
Come dressed as Gypsy, Tramp or Pirate and get in for only £1 (all money taken on the door is for the band!) Numbers are limited to 65 so please let us know if you wish to come!
Dessert Rob's Award Winning Lemon Tart with Goats Cheeses Curd. "Small Batch" Locally Roasted Coffee.
Check out our Fan Page on Face Book www.facebook.com/pages/Brighton-United-Kingdom/HOME/130726494453?ref=ts Become a fan to be among the first to hear about up coming events.
Details of our Christmas menu coming soon and if you have a party to organise for the festive season give Sara or Georgie a call on 01273 674456.
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ROTTINGDEAN 15
VILLAGE PEOPLE Rottingdean sleepy? Think again, this pretty Sussex seaside village is buzzing with bright ideas
S
teeped in history and heavy with heritage, you could be forgiven for thinking that the pretty village of Rottingdean is a sleepy place, and our picture perfect image of the village pond probably reinforces that idea. But look behind the ducks and the listed properties and you will find a thriving community and a great range of local shops, bars and businesses. From stylish designer jewellery to delightful kids’ toys, from girly gifts to interior fashions, Rottingdean has it all. And to break up the day, there is a good selection of places to stop for refreshment, like the traditional Plough Inn right by that pond.
With Christmas not far away, we found gifts for kids, gifts for men and women of all ages, and perfectly priced gifts for mums and dads to suit pocket money budgets. It’s such a lovely setting that we also spotted some great houses for sale and properties to rent, too. Tempted? We were, so why not trot along and discover the real Rottingdean.
Best of Brighton & Sussex Cottages Holiday, Business and Conference Accommodation Letting Specialists throughout the City of Brighton & Hove as well as in Eastbourne and various country areas from Eastbourne to Worthing.
Letting periods from 3 days to 3 months
We are the only VisitBritain approved Quality Accredited Agency in Sussex. All our properties have been assessed and graded and they range from 2 Keys/Standard Plus right up to Five Keys/De-Luxe. Do you have a second home that we can let out for you? You will have plenty of time for you to enjoy your second home and rental to be earned while you are not there.
Check us out on our websites: www.bestofbrighton.co.uk plus www.brightonmarinaapartments.com and www.eastbourneapartments.com
Call us on 01273 308779 or email: enquiries@bestofbrighton.co.uk
Best of Brighton & Sussex Cottages In the heart of the quaint village of Rottingdean you will come across the longest established and largest Holiday, Conference and Business Accommodation Letting Agency. For over 17 years now, Best of Brighton & Sussex Cottages has been providing fully furnished houses, flats, cottages, studios and apartments to discerning clients from all over the world. They have over 100 properties on their books spread between Eastbourne and Worthing but mainly in Brighton and Hove. They are a VisitBritain Quality Accredited Agency and their clients can be assured of a good quality property and personal attention from the staff. They are approved by Brighton and Hove City Council Tourism Dept, Lewes District Council Tourist Office as well as Worthing, Eastbourne and Arun Council Tourist offices. Call in at Laureens Walk, Nevill Road, Rottingdean. 01273 308779. www.bestofbrighton.co.uk www.brightonmarinaapartments.com www.eastbourneapartments.com
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ROTTINGDEAN
david webb residential ROTTINGDEAN
W NE
£950pcm
Stunning 16th Century cottage, totally refurbished enhancing its many original features including "the best inglenook fireplace in Rottingdean". Fully furnished, exposed beams, wooden floors, designer country kitchen, double bedroom, en-suite wet room, GCH. Walled patio garden. 4 month let (approx £950pcm inc. Council tax and water).
ROTTINGDEAN £1295pcm Stunning contemporary 1st floor, 2 bed part-furnished seafront apartment with south-westerly views from balcony. 2 double beds with Downs view, e-s double shower room, bathroom, gorgeous lounge, dining area & beautifully equipped kitchen. Gated parking. Avail Nov 1.
TELSCOMBE CLIFFS
W E NE RIC P
OIRO £725pcm GFF, use of comm gdn, 2 dbl beds, lge lng, sep kit, GCH, pkg, bus routes. Avail Nov 4.
ROTTINGDEAN £1795pcm Superb 5 bed det house. West garden & 1st floor roof terrace with sea view. Large lounge/diner, large kit/breakfast room, 2nd recep/bed 5, cloaks, 4 bedrooms, e-s shower room, bathroom, GCH, DG, decking and hot tub. Gardens, paved driveway and pkg, security gates. Avail Nov 20.
PEACEHAVEN
W NE
£1085pcm Det bnglw, gd size gdns, gge, ORP, 3 lge beds, kit/b’fast rm, thru’lnge, din rm. Avail end Nov.
www.davidwebbresidential.co.uk
01273 300525
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ROTTINGDEAN 17
Cheeky Monkeys
David Webb Residential David Webb Residential is the local property specialist and landlords and tenants have literally come from all over the UK and even overseas to benefit from their advice and services on Rottingdean and the surrounds. After a free valuation and consultation, landlords have seen properties let quickly to thoroughly vetted tenants and are receiving excellent returns. Quality of service to landlords and tenants alike is a top priority. The directors and colleagues are fiercely independent and all live close by, so are perfectly placed to provide both the efficiency and flexibility expected by experienced landlords, and the guidance to new landlords throughout the entire process. Rottingdean is a seaside village nestling in a downland valley to the east of the city. This idyllic setting is a rural haven for city workers, though it’s just 10 minutes away from the bustle of Brighton and Hove. The village is virtually surrounded by breathtaking countryside and there are fine walks along the seafront, or up on the Downs – a newly designated National Park. Enjoy the old-world charm of the High Street, the Green and Kipling Gardens, with shops, inns and restaurants in abundance. David Webb Residential Sales and Lettings have an excellent range of properties for sale and to rent. They offer experienced professional local knowledge, free valuations and dedicated property management services. They are the perfect ‘one-stop-shop’ for all your property needs. Contact Barbara Bryder on 01273 300525. David Webb Residential, 12 West Street, Rottingdean, Brighton, BN2 7HP. www.davidwebbresidential.co.uk
Now in its fourth fabulous year, Cheeky Monkeys is a very well-loved Children’s Shop stocking a carefully selected range of traditional and wooden toys, as well as Mini IQ books, Manhattan Toys and a brilliant range of micro-scooters. Lots of the most popular items are on display so you can try before you buy. Michelle and her friendly staff will offer expert advice in choosing gifts for children from 0–10 years old. Cheeky Monkeys overlooks the beautiful seafront in Rottingdean, opposite the White Horse Hotel – plenty of parking available. The Latest Homes readers offer: 10 per cent off any in store purchase at Cheeky Monkeys. www.cheekymonkeys.me.uk 01273 302 644
Pebbles
Open Art Gallery Café
Brand new to Rottingdean, PebblesHomestyle and Gift Store offers the perfect solution for all your gift-buying needs. The shop is set in the heart of the village, with an in-house curtain maker and interior designer who will come to your home to advise on style and fit. Choose the perfect gift from candles and lanterns to mugs, jugs, jewellery and much, much more. They are stockists of the luxurious Mason Pearson brushes and indulgent JR Watkins’ all-natural body lotions, plus hand-crafted garden jewellery and decorative garden accessories. Go along and be inspired. Pebbles is there to help you through the winter, and make your Christmas wishes come true. The Latest Homes readers offer: 10% off any in-store purchase at Pebbles. Pebbles Homestyle and Gift Store www.pebbles.me.uk 01273 945 857. For further information on interiors please contact Ally Pollock on 07858 420 379, for Garden Jewellery and design please call Jayne Ford or Julie Hutchinson 07740 779 936.
Who would have thought that a quaint, sleepy village by the sea would create such a stir? Yet, last Saturday, the village of Rottingdean awoke to the buzz of pro-active artists at work! In these still uncertain recession-led times, you would think that the world of art would fall the hardest, but eight stalwart local artists are making their mark! In barely two weeks they have turned an empty shop in Nevill Road, Rottingdean, into an exciting gallery of eclectic Art and Craft. Rottingdean has a wonderful history of famous sons and daughters of the arts, from Rudyard Kipling to Edward Burne-Jones. It is a place that attracts writers, artists and thespians to this very day. For those of you aware of the Artists Open House in the Brighton Festival, you will be delighted to discover this gallery. The Open Art Gallery Café is manned totally by the artists themselves and it exudes creativity. As they manfully serve you tasty cakes and cappuccinos, they gleefully discuss art techniques. Workshops and art materials will be on offer for all the family and, with their combined skills, all manner of services await you! The Open Art Gallery Café, 6 Nevill Road, Rottingdean, East Sussex. Open 8am–6pm, seven days a week.
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ROTTINGDEAN
www.fsdesignersilver.com Featured Designers: Sarah Herriot, Rachel Galley, Tina Lilienthal, Atelier Gilmar If you are looking for a really special gift, or for a stunning piece of jewellery to set off a great new outfit, come to FSDS for exceptional service and personal shopping advice.
Fiona Stewart Designer Silver, 52 High Street, Rottingdean. www.fsdesignersilver.com Tel 01273 80 66 80 http://twitter.com/FSDS
A truly independent school where each child has space to grow and to flourish
St Aubyns School Independent day and boarding school for boys and girls aged 3 – 13
NEW COMPETITIVE FEE STRUCTURE ‘OUTSTANDING’
Pastoral Care, provision for individual pupils,the creative arts and the sport ISI Report 2007
‘OUTSTANDING’ ‘OUTSTANDING’ Boarding Inspection 2009
OFSTED Early Years Inspection 2008
Extensive minibus service throughout Sussex, including Seaford Outstanding inspection results over the last 3 years Successful entry at 13+ to Senior Schools in Sussex and beyond Small class sizes Individual learning plan for each child Safe, caring and challenging environment Weekly and flexi boarders welcome
www.staubynsschoolbrighton.co.uk Telephone: 01273 302170 Email: office@staubyns-school.org.uk St Aubyns School, Rottingdean, Brighton, East Sussex. BN2 7JN
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ROTTINGDEAN 19
Fiona Stewart
St Aubyns School
At FSDS (Fiona Stewart Designer Silver), Fiona is on a mission to deliver statement, affordable jewellery that elevates any outfit, and silver giftware that delights every time. The philosophy is simple: Fiona wants you to feel spoiled for choice. In her Rottingdean boutique you will find jewellery pieces that make you feel as good as you look, and gifts that people will give pride of place to in their homes. The quality of the jewellery and gifts at FSDS is matched by a highly personal service. So if you would like to know about the silversmith and the history of your individual item, or reserve a specific piece for a Christmas or anniversary present, go online or visit Fiona in person, where she will be delighted to help. Fiona Stewart Designer Silver, 52 High Street, Rottingdean, Brighton, BN2 7HF. 01273 806680. www.fsdesignersilver.com
St Aubyns School would like to warmly invite you to go and visit, to meet children and staff, see the spacious grounds, look at the considerable range of facilities, and begin to understand their very special, distinctive ethos. St Aubyns is a family-centred school where children feel happy, secure and valued. Central to the educational success is a low pupil to adult ratio, and committed teachers who are passionate about teaching, nurturing and motivating children. Pupils receive individual guidance and, as a consequence, the children are confident and polite, and achieve outstanding results at 13 years plus. St Aubyns School, Rottingdean, Brighton, East Sussex. BN2 7JN. 01273 302170. www.staubynsschoolbrighton.co.uk
The Plough Local pub company Golden Lion Group have added the Plough Inn on the pond at Rottingdean to their portfolio of traditional public houses. Having undergone a classic refurbishment, the pub is now open and the changes have been well received. New manager Declan (formally of The Cricketers in the Lanes) has hit the ground running and describes the Plough Inn as “a lovely, cosy pub offering great beer, fine wines and excellent homemade food lunch and evenings”. Favourites include the hot salt beef sandwich, steak and Guinness pie and the Mediterranean vegetable lasagne. Food is available at lunchtimes and evenings and all day at weekends. The Plough, Vicarage Lane, Rottingdean, Brighton, BN2 7HD. 01273 390365.
Lets Go For information and sound advice on the ins-and-outs of successful renting, go and see the lively team at Lets Go Lettings. Denise, the owner, has lived and worked in the Rottingdean area for over 30 years: “We love being part of the busy, friendly community. As the only specialised letting company in the village, and being sandwiched between the bakers and the newsagents, our high street shop window attracts many prospective clients.” Providing a high quality service based on trust and personal recommendation, they manage a range of period and contemporary properties throughout the Brighton and Hove area. Lets Go, 59 High St, Rottingdean, Brighton, BN2 7HE. 01273 236547 www.letsgoproperty.co.uk
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WAVE
Training for interfaith ministry Interfaith Seminary offers a ground-breaking programme to broaden spirituality This autumn sees the next intake of spirituallycommitted students embark on the two-year ground-breaking study programme with the Interfaith Seminary. This experiential programme is designed to deepen each person's awakening process as the basis for effective service. It provides a powerful and supportive structure in which to: study aspects of the world’s major faiths and mystical traditions; create rituals and ceremonies; practise spiritual counselling; and deepen your own spiritual practice. The students and ministers are committed to sharing this journey of exploration into what it means to be human, and how to serve life, God, the source of all, in a myriad of ways, both secular and sacred. Current student Sharon comments: "This course fulfills my curiosity about traditions, religion, people and spirituality whilst developing my own spiritual growth in an environment of unconditional love. The training so far has been beyond what I could have expected." For more information, see www.interfaithfoundation.org or call 08444 457 004
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SPACE 21
Old ones are the best Andy Morton talks to Barry Cryer about Kenny Everett, Little Britain and a certain Radio 4 show
B
arry Cryer makes a welcome return to The Space after a year-and-a-half hiatus – having scored the highest of any of our guests in the clap-ometer stakes. He’s that rareist of entertainers for whom epithets like ‘much-loved’ and ‘legendary’ are justified: they call him Uncle Baz in Edinburgh, a bona fide ‘elder statesman’ of British comedy. He’s written for such comedy greats as Bob Hope, Richard Pryor, The Two Ronnies, Monty Python and Kenny Everett, while he continues to reduce audiences to tears of laughter with stage shows including the ever-popular I’m Sorry, I Haven’t A Clue. And in spite of forty-odd years of entertainment success, he modestly describes his career as... “...a series of lucky accidents. I’d just got my first year results at Leeds uni and they were not good. A guy came up to Leeds and saw me in a student show. I had the results in one hand and his offer in another and there was no contest.” How would you characterise the British sense of humour? Irony and self-deprecation, taking the piss out of ourselves. And sheer nonsense: Monty Python, Spike Milligan and Edward Lear. I don’t think Americans go for nonsense as much as we do, though it’s rubbish that they don’t do irony – look at Woody Allen, Jerry Seinfeld and the great Bill Hicks. Humphrey Lyttleton (who did our show I‘m Sorry I Haven‘t A Clue) once said, ‘You must never lose touch with silly’. Very wise words.
So has comedy changed much over the course of your career? Funny’s funny and every generation has brilliant people. I do the Fringe at Edinburgh every year and I get to know a lot of them, and there’s no generation gap at all. There was a very definite change years ago – quite rightly the old sexist, racist jokes were out; then you look at Little Britain: gay, black and fat jokes with a wink, ‘we’re being ironic here’. I think they ran out of steam, Little Britain. I liked it very much when it started but they were going over the same ground and I didn’t like the series in America at all. Is there any originality, then, or is it all recycling? If you’re old like me, you do spot the formula. They used to say there are only six jokes in the world, which is rubbish – six formulae, maybe – but it’s mostly the names that change. You famously wrote for Kenny Everett – he was a true original... He was the only non-comedian I ever worked with – he was a one-off, he was Kenny Everett. It was one of the happiest times of my life working with him. He was up for anything, Kenny. If you give a comedian a script the good ones will sometimes read it and say ‘that’s funny but it’s not me’. But Kenny had no preconceived idea of what he should be doing. ‘I’m Sorry...’ is still going strong after 37 years: what’s the key? Well it’s only a touring show now. We took a year off when Humphrey died but the BBC wanted it back and I’m not boasting but thousands of emails came in. And Jack Dee has settled in beautifully: he’s on this tour. He said, ‘I’ll never be Humphrey Lyttleton’ but you can’t; you just fill the shoes, you know. The show’s bigger than any of us: we did the Hammersmith Apollo last week and three thousand came – it’s like The Rolling Stones, it’s bloody amazing! What’s the best thing you’ve ever pulled out of ‘Bazza’s Bucket? Well there’s a pile of paper and pens on the way in for the audience to write suggestions, and someone wrote ‘Thanks for the free pen’, which made me laugh. Barry Cryer joins Eric Fellner of Working Title Films at the next SPACE event at Latest Music Bar, Manchester Street on 3 November, 7.30pm, £6/£4, www.thespace.me.uk
022_LS_Ads
10/22/09
3:31 PM
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Can help with: Public Speaking Panic attacks Exam nerves Self esteem Smoking cessation Phobias Weight management Self hypnosis FREE INITIAL CONSULTATION London, Brighton, Hove & Forest Row Practices
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10/23/09
11:57 AM
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WAVE 23
Sugar, spice & all things nice Zara Baker looks at tricks to enjoy Halloween without an excess of sugar-filled treats
H
ere in the UK, we are gradually adopting the American approach to Halloween: costumes, carved pumpkins (Jack O’Lanterns) and bags of sweets hoarded from trick or treating. The ancient Wiccan-Celtic tradition of Samhain, as Halloween Eve is traditionally known, may be lost on the youth, but the collecting of sweets is one tradition being fully embraced. Celebrate Halloween by all means; take the children trick or treating, hold a costume party or make some ghoulish treats. But try and do so without the extra consumption of sugary sweets. The clocks have changed, and with the early dark evenings and colder nights, it is more difficult to keep active. Child obesity experts MEND state that about a quarter of UK children aged four to seven are overweight. And with Halloween and Christmas approaching, it is tempting to eat more as shops fill up with delicious treats. To help combat this, here’s some ideas to have a happy Halloween without the excess fat... Firstly, the kids want to go trick or treating, which is fine as it’s fun and active. The problem is they arrive home loaded with chocolate and sugary goodies. Rather than letting them eat them all (and be tempted yourself) MEND suggest letting them select a few and have the rest placed in a ‘magic pumpkin’ overnight. In the morning, a small toy replaces the sweets, which your child will get more enjoyment out of. The sweets can then be donated to a local charity or food bank. Another option is to substitute sweet treats for healthy options. Before your kids screw their noses up at the prospect, make it fun and inventive with a Halloween twist.
WAVE – HEALTHY LIFESTYLE WARD OFF VIRUSES WITH YOUR FIVE-A-DAY FROM PLANET ORGANIC Keep your immune system strong and you are less likely to be struck down with cold and flu viruses that are inevitably on the increase at this time of year. Warding off the sniffles with plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables (these are packed with essential nutrients and vitamins) is a start. And don’t underestimate the benefits of wrapping up in extra layers. However sunny it is outside, the cold crisp air of autumn is here, so dig out your woolly hat and put your flip flops away for next year. Vitamin supplements can also
go a long way in supporting the body’s natural defenses. Planet Organic have come up with five essential health supplements to keep your health in tip-top condition over the winter months. 1. Comvita Olive Leaf Complex offers the benefits of a Mediterranean diet (high in olives) even if you can’t make a trip to Spain this winter. Packed with antioxidants, green tea extract and grape seed extract, there are 30 times as many antioxidants as olive oil and 400 per cent greater antioxidant capacity than Vitamin C. 2. Vegus Wheatgrass Juice is flying off the shelves as its nutritional values become more widely known. Wheatgrass is one of the most
Try making creepy edible eyeballs to feed the children with. Slice a carrot into small chunks, top each with a blob of half-fat cream cheese and half a pitted black olive. They look nasty, which children will love, they’re a healthier option to sweets and they taste great. Go bobbing for apples the traditional way, or hang them from a string and see who can bite into theirs first with their hands behind their back all the time. Making up games like these will have children eager to tuck into some fruit! Carve a face into a large pumpkin and make a delicious pumpkin soup for all the family. MEND also recommend making mini lanterns out of oranges. Make sure they’re big and slice off the top like a lid. Kids will have fun scooping out the flesh and you can always cut out a small face in the skin too. Fill the ‘lantern’ with chopped orange and other fruit for a ghoulish mixed fruit salad. Don’t forget to keep active this Halloween, too. Make two or more teams and choose a ‘mummy.’ Invest in plenty of toilet roll and have fun racing against each other or the clock, wrapping up your mummy from head to toe. Happy Halloween! For more on MEND, visit www.mendprogramme.org
nutritious and cleansing juices available. It can improve digestion and reduce blood pressure and contains anti-ageing and weightloss assisting properties. The Vegus Wheatgrass Juice can fill nutritional gaps in the diet and is an easy step to feeling great. 3. New Chapter Berry Green gives you your daily allowance of nutritious superfoods, ideal if you’re always on the go. Each portion contains 20 organic fruit and vegetables and is packed with healthy bacteria which the body needs. 4. Wellness Formula is seen a must-have in America and is now becoming well known on this side of the pond. These tablets feature vitamins, antioxidants and minerals to help protect from infection, strengthen the immune system and improve heart health. Arm yourself with Wellness Formula before taking on the busy bus/train ride in the mornings. 5. Green Bay Manuka Honeysuckers are great for fighting sore throats, infection or digestive problems. These antibacterial lozenges are a great way of taking organic, raw Manuka honey on the go. Planet Organic are offering Wave readers 10 per cent off plus free delivery on orders over £30.To claim this discount, enter the offer code WAVE when ordering online at www.planetorganic.com. Offer valid until 31 December.
HYGIENIC HOMES Here’s a disturbing thought as you turn in for the night: up to two million dust mites may be sharing your double mattress with you. These unwelcome guests may be small (they’re invisible to the naked eye) but they can cause plenty of woe and can trigger common allergies including asthma and eczema. Catching our eye this month, Wave’s must-have product for a healthy home is HealthGuard’s Total Hygiene DM1. This fabric spray promises to eliminate dust mites and bacteria in one simple application, and is suitable for all soft furnishings, including bedding and cuddly toys. House-dust mites thrive in warm, moist conditions, so before you shut the windows, happy that hayfever season is finally over, think about the indoor allergens from unwelcome house guests. Total Hygiene DM1 is available from Dreams stores nationwide.
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24 WAVE Naked Style Take Control ‘Gorgeous Curls’ Curl Taming Cream, £3.99, available exclusively in Boots stores nationwide, www.boots.com/ www.nakedbodycare.co.uk “This left my hair soft and manageable and did help eradicate the frizz that usually comes with curling my hair. ”
Natural state Can natural hair care treatments transform tresses as well as their chemical-filled counterparts? Zara Baker puts it to the test
Naked Style ‘Heat Defender’ Heat Protection Spray, £4.99, available exclusively in Boots stores nationwide, www.boots.com/ www.nakedbodycare.co.uk “Sprayed liberally before drying/ straightening, this left my hair shiny and smooth. Definitely one of the best heat defence sprays out there.”
G
oing organic needn’t just mean your diet. Beauty products containing natural, organic ingredients are on the increase as both men and women consider the effects of chemical-based products on their skin and the environment. Organic hair care products are silicone free, meaning you won’t get a synthetic build-up. Washing your hair with organic shampoo does not further pollute water with waste chemicals and, if you do discard the product, it simply disintegrates into the environment. But do natural hair products actually work? Surely chemical-based products are packed with essential ingredients to boost/tame/protect the hair for a reason? Can the natural way really compare? Wave tried a range of organic, natural products from shampoos to styling treatments, and the overall consensus was they style and hold the hair as well as other products, although the shampoos don’t quite measure up when cleansing the hair. But the other good news? These natural products are not as expensive as you may think.
MOP Basil Mint Shampoo, £10.40, available from selected stores and salons nationwide. For stockists call 01282 613 413. “I was suspicious my hair would smell like toothpaste but it actually left it fresh without being overpowering, and lovely and clean.” MOP Reconstructing Treatment, £11.90, available from selected professional salons nationwide. Call 01282 613 413. “This conditioner was fabulous – it just magicked all the knots away whether big or small.”
Weleda Calendula and Chamomile Shampoo and Conditioner, £7.95 each, available from most Waitrose stores, Weleda Direct on 0115 944 8222 or www.weleda.co.uk “Unfortunately I had to use lots of the shampoo to create any lather and I wasn’t too keen on the scent. The end result was good though.”
Professional stylist expert with organic colour using
'Colour Herbe'
Dr Organic Aloe Vera Shampoo, available from Holland & Barrett stores nationwide, www.hollandandbarrett.com 0870 606 6605, £4.99 “This smelt great, but I needed to use quite a lot to work up a cleansing lather!” Organic Surge Shine Boost Conditioner, £4.99, available from John Lewis and Sainsbury’s stores nationwide. “This left my hair quite fluffy rather than smooth, but it looked a lot brighter and thicker. However, I found I had to use a larger amount than normal.”
Vidal Sassoon trained: due to demand a very small area covered in Mid Sussex to home visit. Otherwise based at Studio in Falmer by the Station. please visit :
www.haironwheels.co.uk or text Karen 0771 4819526 Appointment only
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WAVE 25
WHAT IS
Aloka? Drop-in yoga, revealing colour workshops, all in the heart of Brighton
T
he Aloka studio is a beautiful lightfilled sanctuary space located in The Lanes in the heart of Brighton. Their Hatha Yoga classes are open to all levels, ages and body types. All classes are taught by qualified instructors at a time and price that fits into any schedule and budget, with small classes and a relaxed atmosphere that helps you to embrace the true nature of yoga. Aloka prides itself on its drop-in culture; visitors can drop in for a class at any time of the day – before work, in their lunch hour and in the evening. Created with love and intention using sustainable materials and eco-friendly mats, blocks, belts and blankets, the studio is an environment that will nourish your whole being. Alongside the yoga, Aloka offers amazing Aura-Soma Colour workshops. The colours we choose help to reveal who we really are as every colour and bottle combination has a specific meaning. As part of Aloka’s ever expanding diary of workshops, courses and events, they will be hosting a Colour & Yoga workshop in The Studio on Sunday 22 November. The Colour & Yoga workshop will take place 10am – 4pm and costs £60, including a delicious vegetarian lunch. The workshop will explore colour through Hatha Yoga, Pranayama, Deep Relaxation and Meditation together with the vibrant, harmonising energies of the Aura-Soma Colour System.
Ceremonies
ARE YOU SPIRITUAL BUT NOT RELIGIOUS? Tailor-made wedding ceremonies, personal funerals, blessings for babies and spiritual mentoring. Annie Blampied is an experienced Interfaith Minister and spiritual teacher. Her passion is sharing joy and freedom by moving through and beyond forgiveness. www.annieblampied.co.uk Tel. 01342 825511
Spiritual/Healing
The Aura-Soma system is a tool to help us understand ourselves at a deeper level. We are drawn to the colours we are, and to colours we need to feel balanced. By selecting four bottles from the 107 different coloured Aura-Soma Equilibrium Bottles, we can discover our true mission and purpose, our gifts and strengths, find out what is challenging us at this time, find guidance on how to overcome these difficulties and move forward with ease and confidence. To book call Aloka Quality of Life Centre on 01273 823 178. Aloka Quality of Life Centre, 14 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HP. Until the end of 2009, introduce a friend to yoga at Aloka and get your class for free.
Therapies & coaching
ANNIE LIGHTLY MEDIUM & HEALER Private sittings and Tarot readings at Vits ‘n' Pieces, 33 East Street, Shoreham-by-Sea and at Borders, Churchill Square, Brighton. For information on events (Hove Town Hall and The Hawth, Crawley), demonstrations of mediumship, and bookings, please call:
Therapies & nutrition
Who Wants Better Health? Can help with: Public speaking Panic attacks Exam nerves Self esteem Smoking cessation Phobias Weight management Self hypnosis FREE INITIAL CONSULTATION London, Brighton, Hove & Forest Row Practices
Not getting any answers from your GP? Experienced nutritionist who treats all acute and chronic health problems, specialising in bowel disorders, heart disease and mental health. Health screens, blood and stool tests available. Contact Kate BA Dip ION MBANT on
01323 737814/722499 www.katearnoldnutrition.co.uk
01273 206351 Training
Advertise here for as little as £50 and reach over 100,000 healhconscious readers. Call advertising on
01273 818150 Minimum booking six months
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HOTLIST Koba Bar and Venue
L7 Hotlist Feeling peckish? Insatiably ravenous? These eateries and bars cater for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk Restaurants American JB’s Diner JB’s Diner is a quirky and cool nod to the classic American Diner, from the ‘50s rock’n’roll and the retro dining booths to the stars ‘n’ stripes flying proud as you eat your way through their delicious USA themed menu. The burgers are generous, fresh, tasty and available in many different varieties, the Texan BBQ and ‘Across The Border’ Mexican being firm favourites. Other top sellers include the foot-long hotdogs and rack of ribs. Add a thick dairy ice-cream shake in many flavours (including Oreo!) and we have an American diner perfect for kids and adults alike, looking out onto the very British Brighton beach. 31 Kings Road, Brighton BN1 1NR, 01273 771776, www.jbsdiner.co.uk
British & modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit, they do the best chips ever tasted and appear to have already acquired several celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk
Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256
Barney’s Sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058. Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!
Brighton Rocks Kemp Town’s best loved bar is delighted to offer its new scrummy freshly cooked menu with vegetarian options. Their 2-for-1 main course is available for lunch and dinner seven days a week from an outstanding £6.50. Sunday roast is a must! They have a generous selection of appreciable wines, awesome beers and wicked cocktails. Come dine in an informal friendly atmosphere. Enjoy! 6 Rock Place Kemp Town, 01273 601139 www.brightonrockspub.com
Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95 and wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059
Chaula’s
A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix in this family-friendly pub. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk
Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
The Restaurant At Drakes
With a stylish, cosy interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu includes locally-caught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a light lunch and glass of wine or a hearty three-course dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708, www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
The Dorset
Chinese
A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best people-watching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of home-cooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Marys are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423
Check out Andrew Kay’s comprehensive Brighton, Hove and Sussex Food & Drink directory online at www.thelatest.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The Lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national awardwinning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824, www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk The Chilli Pickle
Gars Restaurant This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk
French The Arrogant Frog Brasserie This beautiful seafront restaurant serves French and European food at affordable prices. The menu includes a full à la carte, £10 twocourse menu and daily specials. Also live music nights and happy hour cocktails between 5 and 7pm. Bring your Odeon cinema ticket receipt for a 10 per cent discount any day and enjoy pasta and a pint for only £6.99 on Orange Wednesdays. From 5–7pm Mondays to Thursdays, receive a free bottle of house wine when two people dine from the £10 menu. On Fridays to Sundays, a free bottle of house wine for every two diners taking two courses each from the à la carte menu. 64 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NA, 01273 721488, reservations@thearrogantfrog.com
Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. There’re also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412
New Steine Bistro This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 /11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp
L’Église 9 Bar Café
Indian
Preston Park Tavern
Nestled inside Brighton’s finest designer hotel – the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Awarded two coveted AA Rosettes through the skills and talents of head chef Andrew MacKenzie, Drakes offers exquisite cuisine with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Two-course menu for £28 or thee courses for £36. Five course chef’s menu £50. Private dining room available for parties of up to 12 people. The Restaurant At Drakes, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com
Chimney House
menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the two-course lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk
Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte
Italian Donatello Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Fat Leo The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk
Thai Sabai Thai Gastrobar Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. With its cosy Thai cushions nestled up on a raised platform, enjoy a 2-for-1 cocktail or dishes in the afternoon from just £4.95. Sabai’s great atmosphere is made complete with an acoustic guitarist on Wednesdays and Sundays. 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place, North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabaibrighton.co.uk, bookings@sabaibrighton.co.uk
Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest Hotlist call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105
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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 27
Food & Drink Andrew Kay returns to Gravetye Manor for a night of culinary delights
Defining fine T
he picture perfect surroundings of Gravetye and its gardens are a delight, and as I hid my tatty car I knew we were in for a treat. At Gravetye the key is total discretion. We were warmly welcomed, checked in and shown to our room as if we were staying in a private house. The stone built Elizabethan manor is rambling and cosy and with no signs of corporate haste – thank god. And that sense pervades everything that they do. Not that it does not deliver immaculate service – but it is done almost imperceptibly. Whilst Mr R took a short nap, I walked the grounds enjoying the late “The chef is making summer sun. With dinner at 7.30pm, we went down to a glass of some exciting champagne and delicious canapes at 7pm and, sitting on a huge sofa, read decisions – and the menu. Last time I had a pigeon dish that made me weak with delight, pulling them off” and there it was again. I had to steel myself not to fall for its charms and instead chose a tian of cornish crab with an avocado and lime panna cotta, white tomato foam and gazpacho dressing. What a feast; I was worried about the panna cotta but needn’t have been. The crab was first class, as was the dressing. My experience of foams has not been good but this was amazing, a pillow of barely set bubbles that were pure essence of tomato – genius. Mr R chose the seared fillet of red mullet with roasted scallops. It was a fabulous plate of fish and seafood packed with flavours, and more than generous. At Gravetye they forego fiddlesome inter-course dishes and go straight to the main events in portions that would shame many dinner plates. Mr R moved on to the medallion of veal, a large disc of perfectly cooked meat in a jus that was sticky and intensely flavoured. The accompanying vegetables were jewel-like around the plate and the creamed leeks added an element of soft comfort. I had my first partridge of the season and it was heaven, pink, plump and gamey. It sat on a stuffed cabbage leaf in a pool of amber jus with perfect carrots, beans and parsnips, again my first this season. And there were none of the silly traditional bits, the game chips – yeuk – or bread sauce; no, this was a modern take on a seasonal classic and better for it. Mr R finished his meal with a plum souffle served with plum ice-cream and roasted plums. For a while he fell silent, quite a rarity. I did sneak a taste of the ice-cream, which was packed with flavour and velvety smooth.
I could not resist the mille feuille of roasted banana with pine nut shortbread, liquorice bavaroise and banana ice-cream – adventurous I know but utterly compelling. I don’t always want easy food and at Gravetye the chef is making some exciting decisions when matching flavours – and pulling them off. I asked the sommeliere to choose wines for us by the glass as our dinner choices would have been too challenging for one bottle and our capacity too small for two – although I was pleased to see some half bottles in the extensive and impresive wine list. We took coffee back in the lounge and chatted with two Americans who seemed to have hit every classy hotel in the south east on their trip. At breakfast, Mr R had smoked salmon – home smoked of course – and scrambled eggs, and I had poached smoked haddock with poached eggs and hollandaise. Well, why would you not if offered? Gravetye is a precious stone. I hate to use the much abused word ‘heritage’ but here, for once, it is appropriate. In hotel terms, this should be our heritage: quality, class, comfort and ease. No hard sell, no bluster or bumph – just elegance and style. Being independent means that Gravetye is versatile. They are available for parties, meetings and weddings on an exclusive basis, with private dining rooms and accomodation – and, of course, some of the most enviable grounds and gardens in the south east. The owners and their team are clearly passionate about everything, from the historic building to the comfort of their guests, and that passion shows at every level. Our stay, our food, the immaculate service, the fact that we felt like guests in a private house and not customers in an hotel – all these made Gravetye a very special experience. Gravetye Manor, Near East Grinstead, West Sussex RH19 4LJ. www.gravetyemanor.co.uk/01342 810 567 Have you been to Gravetye Manor? andrew@thelatest.co.uk
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STAGE 29
L7 WHAT’S ON Stage
> Tuesday 27 October – 2 November >
murdering Richard Hillman in Coronation Street, plays the bumbling but lovable Geoffrey, a man whose mid-life crisis might just bring some mid-life reward. Jessie Wallace, who won the nation’s hearts as the vivacious tart with a broken heart Kat Slater in EastEnders, stars as the bitingly funny Sylvia, a woman who is trying to balance herself on two left feet whilst propping up her real-life partner. Rosemary Ashe, Olivier Award-nominated West End star of Phantom Of The Opera and Mary Poppins, reprises her critically acclaimed role as the group’s waspish Mrs Fraser. Stepping Out, Devonshire Park Theatre, Eastbourne, Monday 9–Saturday 14 November, 7.45pm, Wednesday and Saturday matinees 2.30pm, £13.50-£21. www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk/01323 412000
Soap stars step forward Brian Capron and Jessie Wallace put on their tap shoes in Eastbourne
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rian Capron and Jessie Wallace star in this 25th anniversary revival of Richard Harris’s Stepping Out – a funny and heartwarming play which suggests that, in dancing as in life, it’s always better to follow your own tune. In a run down church hall, ex-professional dancer Mavis Turner holds a weekly tap class. Every Thursday, she rehearses her well-intentioned but not overly talented troupe – including the clumsy but very enthusiastic Lynne, snooty Vera and streetwise Maxine. They all get together to dance, comfortable that no one is watching, and that no-one ever will. Until, that is, they’re asked to perform at a charity gala. Initial disbelief is soon replaced by terror. Can this bunch of amateurs work together to put on the performance of a lifetime? Brian Capron, known to millions for his award-winning portrayal of the
Stagelistings
CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk The Pirates Of Penzance Orphaned pirates, flat-footed policemen and a bevy of blushing beauties make for a fabulous feast of Gilbert & Sullivan. > 27–31 Oct, 7.30pm with 2pm Mats on 29 & 31 Oct, £30/10 Entertaining Angels Penelope Keith reprises the role of Grace in this sharp-edged comedy with probing wit.
It’s all for one and one for all in Chichester next month The award-winning touring theatre, Théâtre Sans Frontières, will be performing its comic, cross-dressing version of the classic French novel Les Trois Mousquetaires at Chichester Festival Theatre from 10–11 November. Based on the original Alexandre Dumas classic, this swashbuckling tale is brought to life through parody, puppetry and cracking comedy. With his razor-sharp sword and wit, the roguishly handsome D’Artagnan battles with the scheming Cardinal Richelieu, finds his true love, and tries to prove himself worthy of the title ‘mousquetaire’. Performing with joie de vivre in your actual French – with a soupçon of English and Spanish too – Théâtre Sans Frontières give this well-loved story a fiendish new twist for the 21st century: handsome, hunky and hairy as they are, these three musketeers are all women. This production first toured the UK in 2000 and appeared at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2001. John Cobb again directs an international company of actors in this adaptation by Edward Kemp, with sets designed by Jane Heather and music by Iain Johnstone. Les Trois Mousquetaires, Minerva Theatre, Chichester Tuesday 10–Wednesday 11 November, £12. www.cft.org.uk/01243 781312
> 2–7 Nov, 7.30pm with 2pm matinees on 5 & 7 Nov, £30/10 (cons)
EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Stepping Out Funny and heart-warming play proving that, in dancing as in life, it’s always better to follow your own tune. > 9–14 Nov, 7.45pm, 2.30pm Mats on 11 & 14 Nov, contact venue for ticket prices
CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE, MINERVA 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk I Found My Horn A man wakes up at forty to the realisation that he has done nothing to make himself memorable. Then he clambers into the attic... >27–31 Oct, 7.45pm with 2.15pm Mat 31 Oct, £15, cons available
KOMEDIA 0845 293 8480 www.komedia.co.uk Club Smooch presents The Monster Club Halloween Special Spooky cabaret featuring the ‘octopus-woman of the deep’ and ‘Hopkins the Witchfinder General’. > 31 Oct, 9pm, £20/8
CRAWLEY: THE HAWTH 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Scratch/We All Stood Together Two new one-act plays performed by Pitchy Breath Theatre. > 5–11 Nov, 7.30pm, £6.60/5.50
NEW VENTURE THEATRE 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Bold Girls Stirring play set in 1990's Belfast about the lives of women whose men have been killed or imprisoned for their political activities.
> Tuesday 27 October to Monday 9 November > BRIGHTON DOME, PAVILION THEATRE 01273 700747 www.brightondome.org bgroup – About Around Brighton-based, Jerwood award-winning choreographer Ben Wright is back with a brand new show. > 5 Nov, 7pm & 8.30pm, £12.50/10 (cons)
En garde
> 7–14 Nov, 7.45pm, 2.30 Mat 8 Nov, no evening performances Sun/Mon, £8/6 THEATRE ROYAL, BRIGHTON 08448 717650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Rocky Horrow Show Follow squeakyclean sweethearts Brad and Janet on an adventure they’ll never forget. > 26-31 Oct, Mon-Thur 7.45pm; Fri & Sat 6pm & 9pm, £14.50–£33.50 Our Man In Havana Graham Greene’s clever parody of the spying game is brought to the stage with Simon Shepherd as the vacuum cleaner salesman-turned spy. > 2–7 Nov, 7.45pm with 2.30pm Mats on 5 & 7 Nov, £12–£28 Blood Brothers The captivating musical tale of twins who, separated at birth, grow up on opposite sides of the tracks, only to be re-united by a twist of fate. >9–14 Nov, 7.45pm with 2.30 Mats 12 & 14 Nov, £18–£32
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MUSIC & CLUB LISTINGS
Clublistings
Musiclistings
> Tuesday 27 October to Monday 2 November >
> Tuesday 27 October to Monday 2 November >
TUESDAY 27 AUDIO New Slang. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS BRIGHTON COALITION Latin Fever. Fine salsa and Latin rhythms. 10pm–2am, £3/2 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Cheese Room. Classic tunes and disco beats. 11pm–4am, £3/free HONEY CLUB Indie Rocks. 11pm–3am, £2/1 PAVILION TAVERN Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1
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WEDNESDAY 28 AUDIO Supercharged. ‘Watch the sun come up’ with the Fulham rapper, Example, and his girl Mandy. 11pm–2.30am, £5/3 BRIGHTON COALITION Cha Mon. Guest indie DJs. 10.30pm–3.30am, £4/2 DIGITAL The Poundance. Indie, R’n’B, electro, house, classics, dubstep and chart tracks. 11pm–3.30am, £1 LIFE Let’s Kill Disco. Playing all manner of dirty mash-ups and filthy beats. 10.30pm–2.30am, £3/1
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THURSDAY 29 BRIGHTON COALITION Secret Discotheque. Retro disco, ’80s pop, hair metal, TV theme tunes. 10pm–3am, £3/2 NUS DIGITAL Thursday Club. These boys will break every bass bone in your body! D'n'B all stars Friction and Noisia head up the gig whilst Spor spins you to the dark side. 11pm–3am, £8 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE BangBang. Playing the hippest hip-hop, the freshest dup step and banging D’n’B! 11pm–5am, £1 b4 12am LIFE Club NME. Live NME bands and Brighton DJs. 10.30pm–3am, £2/1 PO NA NA Pick’n’Mix. You pick it ’n’ they’ll mix it. 10.30pm–3am, £1
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AUDIO Square Roots. Four Tet (DJ set), Daedelus (live) 11pm–4am, £tbc BRIGHTON COALITION Halloweenesque. Bewitching Coalition with their anarchic Carnivalesque Carnival of the Dead! 10.30pm–4am, £6–11 DIGITAL Stonelove. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll with DJ and live bands. 11pm–3am, £4 ENGINE ROOMS Deviant. Hard moshin’ rock alternative. 11pm–3am, £5/3 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Kings Of Soul Present: Booker T & Friends. The legend that is Booker T, blesses the decks with a mixture of funky house, rare grooves and soul!. 11pm, £6–3 KOMEDIA Playgroup. 11pm, £12/10 OCEAN ROOMS Bass and Beats. Got anything better to do this Friday? 11pm–4am, free PO NA NA Ice Box. Blowing you sideways with awesome funk, soul, house and dance floor cutz. 10pm–3am, £6/5 VOLKS The Slackers Convention – Halloween Special. Breaks, Beats & Party Monsters for the
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TUESDAY 27 Calvin Harris + Mr Hudson The none-more hip electro-pop scenester gets the Dome bouncing. Brighton, 8pm, £14 Colin MacIntyre The creative talent behind lush Scottish indie pop act Mull Historical Society. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £6/5 Dizzee Rascal The grime pioneer continues his climb to full-on pop superstar status. Brighton Dome, 7pm, £17.50 The XX Stripped down, minimalist indie pop. Audio, 7pm, £tbc This Town Needs Guns + Tubelord Indie-pop four-piece hailing from Oxford. Prince Albert, 8pm, £6
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maverick still reaching for the sonic heights. Digital, 8pm, £7.50 Paul Potts Bristolian opera singer and winner of TV’s Britain’s Got Talent. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £tbc Ralph McTell Folk veteran and writer of the classic ‘Streets Of London’. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £17.50 Soultown With Ashley Slater Motown, funk and soul staples featuring the charismatic frontman of Freakpower. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £8 The Twilight Sad Fat Cat signed downbeat folk-infused melancholy from Glasgow. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £6
WEDNESDAY 28
SATURDAY 31
Bassekou Kouyate + Ngoni Ba African rock and roll stars of Womad. Komedia 7.30pm, £15 Brain Pop! The Beautiful Word + The Bobby McGee's Great line-up, featuring the polished serious(ish) folk of The Beautiful Word and the frankly mental acoustic oddball romance that is The Bobby McGee's. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £3–5 Danananananaykroyd + Dinosaur Pile-Up Surprisingly great noisy Glaswegian pop punk. Audio, 7pm, £8 Johnny Flynn + Alessi’s Ark Idiosyncratic nu-folk from the brain behind The Sussex Wit. Hanbury Club, 8pm, £9 Tinariwen The masters of Saharan jazz-rock. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £18
Does It Offend You, Yeah? + Trip + Housse De Rackett Opinion-dividing electro-wonk-pop sneerers making a big name for themselves. Concorde 2, 6.30pm, £11 London Philharmonic Orchestra Classical concert; Prokofiev, Rachmaninoff, Tchaikovsky. Brighton Dome, 7.30pm, £10–£32.50 Night Of The Living Dead Halloween Party: The Justice Force 5 + Puncture Kit + Flying White Dots Spooky goings-on with the superhero themed loons The Justice Force 5! Concorde 2, 10pm, free Smoky Carrot Sessions: Acusis + Baxter + This Beautiful Thief + The Die Vibes Indie and pop. Latest Music Bar, 7pm, £5/4 Sweet Sweet Lies + Jon Byrne Halloween show for these swinging, crooning party-starters. Komedia, 8pm, £5/4
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SATURDAY 31 AL DUOMO Disco Blood Bath. Its a disco massacre with Synthetikvoices and Echo Vacio. 11pm–5am, £5 AUDIO Halloween Special. Ghoulish house, shocking electro and electrifying techno. 11pm–4am, free BRIGHTON COALITION Black Rabbit's 3rd Birthday – Halloween Horror. Watership Down's twisted electro, techno love child. 11pm–4am, £12/10 CONCORDE 2 Night Of The Living Dead Free Party. Mortifying VPL's from the spandex clad rock bunch Justice Force 5, live D'n'B and a petrifying DJ set. A night to die for! 10pm–4am, free DIGITAL Shades Rave – Halloween Ball. Does what it says on the tin. 11pm–4am, £10/7 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Buddha Soul. With Juice FM’s Mike Panteli. 10pm–3am, £10 Followed by: Chillax Halloween Special. HONEY CLUB Sevensins. Electro, trance and house with guests. 10.30pm–5am, £10/8 KOMEDIA 'Club Ampwitch’ Rock Night. Dance unto the witching hour to the best rock, metal and punk! 11pm, £4.50 LIFE Hold Up. Unpretentious Indie night. 11pm–4am, £5 NEW HERO It is Still 1985. Alternative ’80s night full of adventurous tunes! 10pm, £3 OCEAN ROOMS Halloween Special 11pm, £5 THE HANBURY CLUB Halloween Party. Pop, funk, disco & sinister sounds, dress to decay! 7pm–2am, £tbc THE VICTORY Born Bad Halloween Ball. It’s a Glitter Beat, Power Pop, Punky Trash, Pub Rock, Hot Slop, Rag Mop, Record Hop! 9pm–2am, free VOLKS Evolution. Hit the dungeon for Evolution's last rave of 2009. Goin’ out with a fat bang provided by D’n’B dealers, Taxman and Original Sin. 11pm–5am, £5 b4 11
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FRIDAY 30
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Discerning Undead! A Halloween bash of cryptic proportions! 11pm-4am, £5/4
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THURSDAY 29 Astrid Williamson Acclaimed Brighton singer-songwriter. Prince Albert, 8pm, £tbc Cornershop The cult UK Asian dance veterans return to the live circuit. Digital, 8pm, £10 Devon Sproule + Mantler Acclaimed Americana. Hanbury Club, 8pm, £10.50 The Nolans The ’80s pop sisters hit the road once again. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £35 The Wave Pictures + Stanley Brinks + Freschard Indie rock influenced by the likes of Pavement and ’90s eccentrics Hefner. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £8
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SUNDAY 1 NOVEMBER DIGITAL Deadmau5. Epic electro-house from this phenomenal deceased rodent! 10pm–3am, SOLD OUT HONEY CLUB Sundelicious. House and soulful beats. 10pm, £2/1 LIFE Maxxi Soundsystem. Full on party soundsystem. 6pm, free.
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FRIDAY 30 Four Tet + Daedelus + Donky Pitch DJs Ambient maestros push the boundaries. Audio, 11pm, £7 Imperial Never Say Die! Club Tour 2009: Architects + Despised Icon + Horse The Band + As Blood Runs Black + Iwrestledabearonce + Oceano + The Ghost Inside Metalcore tour featuring Brighton’s own heaviest heroes, the unmistakable Architects. Concorde 2, 5pm-10pm, £12 Maps Northampton ethereal electro-rock
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MONDAY 2 AUDIO Glue. Sticking hip-hop to dancehall. 11pm–3am, £3/2 BRIGHTON COALITION Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free HONEY CLUB Detention. Weekly student trash bash 10.30pm–3.30am, £3/free Jaime Pettit
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tues 27 oct
fri 30 oct
colin macintyre + Jaime Regan + Natureboy aka mull historical society, a songwriter and multi instrumentalist 8pm £6/5
upstairs: carl verheyen a member of supertramp 7.30pm £8 downstairs: 'forget-me-not' with Sharon Elizabeth 7.30pm £8 downstairs: soul town get on down and get funky with soul town 10pm £8
wed 28 oct brain pop! with beautiful word + bobby mcgees + crowns on the rats orchestra 8pm £4/3
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SUNDAY 1 NOVEMBER Daniel Johnston + Laura Marling The cult US lo-fi singer-songwriter returns to the UK supported by folk-popster Laura Marling. Concorde 2, 8pm, £17.50 Jia + Dani Blue + Alex Gigante Acoustic rock. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £4/3 State Of Undress ‘Fiddlesome’ band hailing from Dorset, playing lively, genre-leaping music. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £6/5
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MONDAY 2 Andrew Roachford UK soul and R’n’B performer of more than fifteen years. Komedia, 8pm, £15 Breakthrough With Rough Trade: The World On Fire + Fearne Unsigned local band showcase. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £3/2 Nine Black Alps Cultish grunge-influenced Manchester rockers return. Freebutt, 7.30pm, £8 Reverend And The Makers + ‘Yves Klein Blue’ + Backhanded Compliments Everyone's favourite baggy-influenced Sheffield loudmouth. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £12 The Unthanks Acclaimed and sparkly folk. Komedia, 8pm, £12.50 Nick Aldwinckle
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downstairs: Acusis + Baxter + This Beautiful Thief + The Die Vibes 7pm £5/4
sun 1 nov upstairs state of undress a rockrootsy, fiddlesome band 8pm £6/5 downstairs jia + dani blue + alex gigante 8pm £4/3
sat 31 oct thurs 29 oct the real house of commons a political salon for brighton with caroline lucas, simon burgess + more tbc 7.30pm free
manchester street, brighton tel.
stick it on once again dj stardom can be yours – all hands on decks at stick it on! 10.30pm–2.30am £6
01273 687171
mon 2 nov breakthrough with rough trade the best breaking acts around + djs 8pm £3/2nus
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
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MUSIC NEWS 31
Musichighlights
Music
> Tuesday 27 October to Monday 02 November >
With Jeff Hemmings
TINARIWEN Formed in the late ‘70s with a shared passion for everything from traditional Touareg music and poetry to Western rock and pop artists such as Hendrix, Santana, Bob Marley and Led Zeppelin, the collective steadily built their reputation in and around the Sahara desert. Now, they are international stars of the world music scene, winning the BBC Award for World Music in 2005, and performing on the Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury earlier this year. Wednesday 28 October, Concorde 2
JOHNNY FLYNN Perhaps the most talented of the current batch of nu-folksters, Mr Flynn is also a little more traditional sounding than most of his peers. Combined that with his perfectly controlled voice, strong melodies and Bohemian demeanour, and he’s becoming a popular man indeed. Wednesday 28 October, Hanbury Ballroom
CORNERSHOP Formed by Tjinder Singh and brother Avtar in 1991, along with David Chambers and Ben Ayres, Cornershop broke through in ‘97 with single ‘Brimful Of Asha’ and here play from Judy Sucks A Lemon, their first album in seven years. Thursday 29 October, Digital
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LIFE IS SWEET From fitting toilet seats to Mercury Music Prize nominations, it’s all in a days work for Sweet Billy Pilgrim’s Tim Elsenburg
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Cornershop
DANIEL JOHNSTON + LAURA MARLING Penning heart-rending tales of unrequited love, cosmic mishaps and existential torment, Johnston first made a name for himself with homemade, lo-fi cassettes which he handed out to fans and friends alike in the early ‘80s. Although his career was often held back by his mental illness, Daniel Johnston continued to gain massive popularity for his music, and has become one of the most popular and best-loved folk rock musicians of our time. Sunday 1 November, Concorde 2
To advertise here costs only £20
his year’s Mercury Music Prize threw up an unexpected but totally deserved winner in Speech Debelle, a female poet-rapper on the small Big Dada label. That’s the beauty of the prize; it’s purely based on artistic merit, as opposed to commercial success. And it’s not only the winners that benefit from the exposure of the prize as a whole, as Tim Elsenburg of Sweet Billy Pilgrim (named after the main character in Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-Five) recently found out. “Despite the evil machinations of the industry, it’s great to be nominated for something that people loved,” says Tim of their album Twice Born Men, which was released on David Sylvain (ex-Japan)’s Samadhi Sound label. “The nomination has dragged us up a few notches; the opportunities are increasing. It means the possibility of giving up my day job, and the opportunity to play with interesting musicians such as The Portico Quartet [who they are on tour with in November].” In fact, it was while he was fitting a toilet seat in Farnham that Tim got the call from his manager about being nominated. “I thought it was an awful joke he was playing,” says Tim. “We put so much work into the record, which took three years to make. We didn’t expect recognition, we just wanted to produce a piece of work we would be proud of.”
In the end, the band did get some great reviews for Twice Born Men, the follow-up to their debut album We Just Did What Happened And No One Came, released back in 2005. Made in a garden shed with a laptop, one mic and bagful of ideas, Twice Born Men is a beautifully constructed, multi-layered piece of textured and experimental English pop with strong hints of the pastoral á la Robert Wyatt. “I call this the ‘relationships’ record,” says Tim, who is still driving a white van in and around the M25 as a maintenance man. “The first one was the ‘faith’ record.” So, how’s his relationship with his employer? “Luckily, they are very flexible and understanding,” he says. “It’s good for me to be working, otherwise I’d be up with the fairies and not doing anything.” Ambitious as well as hard working, Tim and his band mates, Alistair Hamer and Anthony Bishop, want to to do anything and everything to make a living from music. “I’m excited about so many different kinds of music. At the moment I’m into doom metal, but I wouldn’t expect anything like that from us next time around!” Sweet Billy Pilgrim and Portico Quartet, Old Market, 8 November. www.theoldmarket.co.uk/01273 206 978
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THE BRASSERIE FISH & GRILL 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina Village, Brighton BN2 5WA 01273 698989 Bookings must be made in advance. Please mention this advert when booking. Terms and conditions: Must bring the coupon to claim – one coupon up to six people. Excludes Bank Holidays and Saturday evenings.
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6th Anniversary MURASAKI
01273 326231
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EVENTS | ART
Eventspreview
Arthighlights
> Tuesday 27 October to Monday 2 November >
> Tuesday 27 October to Monday 2 November >
HALLOWEEN FASHION BALL
Millennium
Frightening fashionistas, daring designers and genteel ghouls are busy preparing cutting-edge designs for the inaugural charity Halloween Fashion Ball. The evening will feature a stylish Halloween-themed fashion catwalk show, compered by the fabulous drag queen Trudi Styles, where Brighton’s best budding fashion talent will showcase their most ghoulish designs on the catwalk. The outfits will be auctioned at the end of the evening, along with other items, to raise money for the Rockinghorse Charity. The evening’s finalé is a ghosts and ghouls late night party, featuring music from DJ Dominic of People Like Us. Steven Pierson, MD of Blue Monkey Events and lead event organiser for the Halloween Fashion Ball says, “The new Halloween Fashion Ball promises a night of eerily entertaining events and leading-edge designer-wear for Brighton’s fashionistas. If you’re a budding fashion designer or you just love fashion, do come along on the night for inspiration. We’re asking everyone to come in their finest ghostly garments and it’s all in aid of raising funds for local charities.” 28 October, Madame Geisha, East Street. From 7pm until late. For further information visit www.halloweenfashionball.com
Events listings TUESDAY 27
SATURDAY 31
Hair-raising Halloween Half Term Fun at Newhaven Fort Newhaven Fort is getting ready for toads, spooky film screenings, make-yourown craft workshops and witches’ brew this Halloween. 27–31 October. Booking essential. www.newhavenfort.org.uk/01273 517622. Halloween Half Term at Chichester Festival Theatre Specialist drama practitioners will lead an array of activities from creating scary costumes to exploring spooky stories for young people aged between two and 16. 27–30 October. Central School, Orchard Street, Chichester. www.cft.org.uk/01243 781312
How to Read the Runes and Create your Future Drawing on Ancient wisdom, learn how these magical symbols can enrich your life. £50 including hot lunch. 10am–4.30pm. www.livinglifefully.net/01273 871524 Halloween at The Hanbury Ballroom Celebrate the spookiest day of the year in style! 7pm–2am. Donations for the 'Kiweni Appeal' children in Tanzania. www.thehanburyclub.com Time Warp World Record Attempt The Paul O’Grady Show will be filming this attempt to break the world record for synchronised pelvicthrusting (aka ‘The Time Warp’). They’re expecting 1,500 – including Richard O’Brien. Brighton seafront, the old paddling pool (East side of the West Pier), registration from 10am, record attempt at 12noon. www.rockyhorror.co.uk/worldrecord
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Leading creative image agency Millenium Images are launching Millenium Print Collection at Crane Kalman, which will showcase limited edition fine art photographic prints by a number of their contributing photographers. Set up in response to the growing fine art photography market, this exhibition will feature limited prints available from £350. Millennium: The Print Collection, Crane Kalman, 01273 697096. Until 22 November.
Romany Mark Bruce This highly regarded Brighton-based sculptor is best known for his AIDS memorial sculpture, which was was recently unveiled in Brighton. This solo exhibition features figurative paintings and sculptures. While his colourful paintings largely focus on single nude male figures from the waist up, his sculptures also concentrate on the male torso. Romany Mark Bruce, Impure Art, 13 Ship Street Gardens, 01273 732246. Until 29 November
Hobo Coinciding with The Hobo Film Festival at The Duke of Yorks cinema on October 28, Naked Eye Gallery are hosting Hobo, an exhibition of photography by filmmaker John T Davies. His film Hobo was based on a 2,000 mile journey across America, tracing the life of ex-Vietnam veteran ‘Beargrease’. This exhibition features still images from that film, plus images of Beargrease and other hobos he met on his journey. Hobo, The Naked Eye Gallery, 32 Western Road, 01273 204800. Until 3 November
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Blue Circle This exhibition of cement-based work made over the past five years by artist Steve Mace relates to industrial processes and architectural forms. The work questions traditional printmaking techniques and raises issues about the impact of cement production at a global, regional and local level. The exhibition also includes the work of FHK Henrion. Blue Circle, University of Brighton Gallery, 01273 643010. Until 7 November.
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filmhighlight
L7 Film
Up (U) (2d and 3D) Dir: Pete Docter, Bob Peterson
Carl Fredricksen (voiced by Ed Asner) is a cantankerous old man. When he’s threatened with eviction from the home he shared with his late wife, he ties thousands of balloons to his roof and sets off on a fabulous adventure to South America – taking his house with him. Joining him is accidental hitchhiker and junior Wilderness Explorer Russell (voiced by Jordan Nagai). Absolutely enchanting. Showing at Cineworld, Odeon and Connaught
Showing this week Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ (PG) Dir: Kenny Ortega
From Michael Jackson’s creative collaborator of 20 years, also the director of his 02 show, comes this combination of behind the scenes prep with a retrospecitive of one of the biggest musical influences of the 20th century. Made with the support of the Estate of Michael Jackson. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (12A) Dir: Terry Gilliam
A Faustian pact with the devil ties Christopher Plummer to endless youth but delivers his daughter (Lily Cole) to Old Nick on her 16th birthday. Only one loophole presents itself – Plummer and his daughter’s ardent suitor (Heath Ledger in his final role) must save five souls from passing over to the Devil. Gilliam on form in his fantastical home. Showing at Odeon, Cineworld and Duke of York’s
Saw VI (18) Dir: Kevin Greutert Alright, so evil Jigsaw actually died at the end of the last one, and they’re
9 (12A) Dir: Shane Acker
Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) Dir: Wes Anderson
You always kinda knew that George Clooney was a fox. But Wes Anderson makes it manifest in this fabulous animated movie-telling of the Roald Dahl book. Mr Fox loves his family and lives an idyllic life, until he starts to slide back into his bad old ways, pilfering from the local farmers – Bogis, Bunce and Bean. You may recall from the book that one’s fat, one’s short and one’s lean – and they’re all incredibly mean. Not the types to take theft of their property lightly, and they wage an attack on the entire animal community. Can Mr Fox’s cunning see him surivive such an assault? Can Meryl Streep be equally foxy as his missus? Whatever, this looks smashing. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
not bringing him back – they’re just bringing into focus his bigger scheme. Hmm. Anyway, it’s a battle against
time and ingenious murder plans. It’s like he never left. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov produce and Danny Elfman provides the soundtrack for this postapocalyptic machine-battling animation. 9 awakes and finds himself alone in the world. Quickly he joins a group of fellow survivors, but his curiosity leads him to rock the boat. Showing at Cineworld
Sing-A-Long-A Wicker Man (18) Dir: Robin Hardy
A very special, possibly inspired sing-a-long screening of one of the most disturbing horror films of the ‘70s, as Edward Woodward plays the policeman from the mainland come to investigate the disappearance of a schoolgirl. With Dr Bramwell. Showing at Duke of York’s
SHOWING THIS WEEK 01273 626261
0871 224 4007
0871 200 2000
01903 206206
cineworld.co.uk
picturehouses.co.uk
odeon.co.uk
worthingtheatres.co.uk
TUESDAY 27
TUESDAY 27
TUESDAY 27
TUESDAY 27
Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant (12A) 12.00, 2.30, 5.00, 7.45 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs (U) 10.15am Couples Retreat (15) 11.30am Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) 11.10, 1.15, 3.30, 5.45, 8.00 Fame (PG) 11.45am The Invention Of Lying (12A) 2.45, 5.15 The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 12.15, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 Saw VI (18) 2.00, 4.45, 7.15, 8.15, 9.30 Synechdoche, New York (15) 8.30 Up 3D (U) 11.00, 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 Up 2D (U) 9.45, 12.15, 3.00, 5.30 Zombieland (15) 2.15, 4.30, 7.00, 9.15
Fish Tank (15) 1.30 The Cove (12A) 6.30 The Hurt Locker (15) 11.00am (Silver Screen) The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 4.00, 9.00
Up (U) 1.30, 4.30, 7.00
Hobo Fiml Festival (12A) 8.30 The Cove (12A) 6.00 The Hurt Locker (15) 11.00am (Big Scream) The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 1.30, 3.45
Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant (12A) 10.40, 1.10, 3.45, 6.15, 8.45 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 1.50 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2D (U) 10.45am Couples Retreat (15) 12.45, 3.20, 6.10, 8.50 Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) 10.15, 12.30, 2.40, 4.50, 7.00, 9.10 The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 11.50, 2.45, 5.30, 8.20 Saw VI (18) 11.20, 1.30, 3.40, 5.50, 8.10, 9.00 Up 3D (U) 10.30, 11.40, 1.00, 2.00, 3.30, 4.00, 4.20, 6.00, 6.20, 6.45, 8.30 Up 2D (U) 11.10am Zombieland (15) 8.40
THURSDAY 29
WEDNESDAY 28
The Cove (12A) 6.30 The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 3.30, 9.00
9 (12A) 11.50, 1.40 Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant (12A) 10.40, 1.10, 3.45, 6.15, 8.45 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 1.50 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2D (U) 11.45am Couples Retreat (15) 8.50 Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) 10.15, 12.30, 2.40, 4.50, 7.00, 9.10 The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 2.45, 5.30, 8.20 Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ (PG) 10.30, 1.00, 3.30, 5.20, 6.00, 8.00, 8.30 Saw VI (18) 3.40, 5.50, 8.10 Up 3D (U) 10.20, 12.00, 12.40, 2.30, 3.00, 4.00, 5.00, 6.20, 7.30 Up 2D (U) 11.10am
WEDNESDAY 28 Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant (12A) 12.00, 2.30, 5.00, 7.45 Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) 11.10, 1.15, 3.30, 5.45, 8.00 Fame (PG) 11.45am The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 11.30, 2.15, 5.15, 8.45 Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ (PG) 04.00, 9.00, 10.00, 11.20, 12.30, 1.45, 3.15, 4.15, 6.00, 6.45, 8.30, 9.15 Saw VI (18) 2.00, 4.45, 7.15, 8.15, 9.30 Up 3D (U) 11.00, 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 Up 2D (U) 9.45, 12.15, 3.00, 5.30
THURSDAY 29 Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant (12A) 12.00, 2.30, 5.00 Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) 1.15, 3.30, 5.45, 8.00 Fame (PG) 11.45am The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 11.30, 2.15, 5.15, 8.45 Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ (PG) 10.45, 11.20, 1.00, 1.45, 3.30, 4.15, 6.00, 6.45, 8.30, 9.15 The Proposal (12A) 10.30am Saw VI (18) 2.00, 4.45, 7.15, 9.30 Up 3D (U) 11.00, 1.30, 4.00, 6.30, 9.00 Up 2D (U) 9.45, 12.15, 3.00, 5.30
WEDNESDAY 28
WEDNESDAY 28 Up (U) 1.30, 4.30, 7.00
THURSDAY 29 Up (U) 1.30, 4.30, 7.00
FRIDAY 30 Up (U) 1.30, 4.30, 7.00
SATURDAY 31 Up (U) 1.30, 4.30, 7.00
FRIDAY 30 An Education (12A) 4.00, 9.00 Scarface (18) (Late show) 11.00pm Tales From The Golden Age (12A) 6.15
SATURDAY 31 An Education (12A) 1.30, 9.15 Corpse Bride (PG) (Kids’ Club) 11.00am Tales From The Golden Age (12A) 6.30 Vampyr (PG) 4.00 Wicker Man (1973) (15) 11.30pm
SUNDAY 1 An Education (12A) 4.00, 9.00 Southern Softies (12A) 6.00 Tales From The Golden Age (12A) 1.00
MONDAY 2 An Education (12A) 4.00, 9.00 In The Night Garden: Sneezing (U) 11.00am Tales From The Golden Age (12A) 6.15
SUNDAY 1 Hocus Pocus (PG) 10.15am Up (U) 1.30
MONDAY 2 Broken Embraces (15) 2.00
THURSDAY 29 9 (12A) 11.50, 1.40 Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant (12A) 10.40, 1.10, 3.45, 6.15, 8.45 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 3D (U) 1.50 Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2D (U) 10.20am Couples Retreat (15) 12.20 Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) 10.15, 12.30, 2.40, 4.50, 7.00, 9.10 The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 2.45, 5.30, 8.20 Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ (PG) 10.30, 1.00, 3.30, 5.20, 6.00, 8.00, 8.30 Saw VI (18) 3.40, 5.50, 8.10 Up 3D (U) 10.20, 12.00, 12.40, 2.30, 3.00, 4.00, 5.00, 6.20, 7.30 Up 2D (U) 11.10am
Films showing Friday 30–Monday 2
Films showing Friday 30–Monday 2
Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
Up
034_LS447_comedy/gaylist
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10/22/09
5:26 PM
Page 2
COMEDY | GAY LISTINGS
Comedypreview
Gaylistings
> Tuesday 27 October to Monday 2 November >
> Tuesday 27 October to Monday 2 November >
BRIGHTON COMEDY FRINGE (SATURDAY)
TUESDAY 27 BRIGHTON TAVERN Games Games Games. 12pm, free CHARLES STREET BAR Two’s Company. Cabaret with Maisie Trollette and Miss Jason. 9pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free REVENGE Sound As A Pound. Deck Heroine LadyBex throws out ‘80s, ‘90s, ‘00s, electro, pop, dance and cheese. Plus a hefty raffle prize! 10.30pm, £1 THE BASEMENT Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free THEATRE ROYAL Rocky Horror Show. Sharpen those stilettos for the rockiest ride of your life. 7.45pm, £30.50-£35.50
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The Brighton Comedy Fringe over at Upstairs At The Three And Ten has brought us some great shows this October, and the last day of the Fringe is set to see them out in style. There will be three shows in one night, so thank goodness it is a Saturday so that you can fully enjoy them all and give your funny bone time to recover. The night kicks off at 7pm with last year’s Malcolm Hardee award-winner for most original show at the Edinburgh Fringe. His unique style of enchanting rambling, with constant Edward Aczel comedic pay-offs, makes him a popular act on the circuit amongst fellow comics as well as punters. Next up is Legless ‘N’ Harmless, a show within a show, which was nominated for best comedy show at this year’s Brighton Festival Fringe. This comedy duo are desperate to make you laugh, unafraid to poke fun at anything they encounter – including themselves. The crescendo of the evening has got to be the event known as Brighton Comedy Fringe Saturday, which starts at 10pm. This stand-up treat from five on the best young comics around, on the up and at the top of their game, should round the evening off nicely. Pick one or all of these comedic treats and you can bet that the vibe on this very special night will ensure everyone is on top of their game. Edward Aczel Explains All the World’s Problems... And Then Solves Them, 7pm, £8/6; Legless ‘N’ Harmless, 8.30pm, £7/5; Brighton Comedy Fringe Saturday, 10pm, £10/7.50 – all at Upstairs At The Three And Ten. www.otherplaceproductions.co.uk/07800 983 290
Comedy listings
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WEDNESDAY 28 AMSTERDAM Student Karaoke. 8pm, free LEGENDS Gabbi’s Fun and Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free MARLBOROUGH Student Night. Can’t cook? Won’t cook? Drink and pizza promos for NUS all night! 6pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Karaoke Star 2009 – 1st prize £150. 9.15pm, free R-BAR The Midweek Shuffle. Brighton’s hottest new DJ, Zack Hadley, rocks R-Bar with cheesy pop, chart, ‘90s dance and club. 12pm–2am REVENGE Random. Spanking new night of live bands and DJs. 10.30pm, £3 THE BASEMENT Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free THEATRE ROYAL Rocky Horror Show (See Tues) 7.45pm, £30.50-35.50
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THURSDAY 29 CHARLES STREET BAR Mad Cow XL – My Cow Is On Fire. Funky house and cheap as Primark pants drinks deals! 8pm–3am, £1 (goes to charity) DOCTOR BRIGHTONS DJ Competition. Let the deckduelling commence as undiscovered DJ talent battle for your votes! 1pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-BAR Pre-Girls on Top Party. Richard Jones sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Girls On Top: Thursgay Halloween Special. LadyBex and Count Smiffy doll out ghastly chart hits and pop re-animations. 10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30 with passes, £5/4 after THE BASEMENT DLite. Regular guest DJs lay down commercial house tracks. 11pm–4am, free THEATRE ROYAL Rocky Horror Show (see Tues). 7.45pm, £30.50-35.50
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WEDNESDAY 28 Funnier Farm Excellent comedy in an intimate setting upstairs at the Caroline of Brunswick – the old Funny Farm’s new home. Top talent comes from MC James Acaster, acts Nick Helm, Marie Vagen, Nigel Numas, Ged Butcher and Tom Goom – plus headliner Andrew O’Neill. Caroline of Brunswick, 8.30pm, £5/4
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Simon Munnery This titan of alternative comedy promises the usual mix of boundarypushing brilliance, inspired oddness and intellectualised silliness Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £8/6.
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THURSDAY 29 Comic Boom Komedia's monthly night of exciting new comedy without the gamble! Hal Cruttenden headlines. Komedia, 8pm, £8.50/6.50.
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Robin Ince: The School For Gifted Children, Darwin Birthday Spectacular Following enormous sell-out shows at London's Bloomsbury Theatre and Hammersmith Apollo, multi-award-winning comedian and writer Robin Ince brings his celebration of all things scientific to Komedia, along with some very special guests. Komedia, 8.30pm, £12/10.
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Tim Minchin: Ready For This? Following a sell-out UK tour last autumn and a bestselling DVD, uberminstrel Tim Minchin lugs his piano back to town for his second gig this Magners Brighton Comedy Festival. Dome Concert Hall, 8pm, £17.50
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FRIDAY 30 Krater Comedy Club Top comedy every weekend from Krater – this week it's the cream from Ian Brown, Steve Gribben and Lloyd Langford, with MCing duties from the excellent Rufus Hound. Also on Saturday (7pm and 10pm, £16.50) and Sunday (8pm, £10/6). Komedia, 7.30pm, £12.50/10
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Rabbit In The Headlights A hand-picked assembly of new and rising stand-ups take to the stage in this popular new-act night. Often hilarious, sometimes bizarre and occasionally mind-blowing. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £6/5
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SATURDAY 31 Brighton Comedy Fringe Saturday Stand-up from five of the best young comics around. A perfect finale to the 4th Brighton Comedy Fringe. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 10pm, £10/7.50.
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Edward Aczel Explains all the World's Problems... And Then Solves Them Edward Aczel returns with a new show to save the world. Aczel solves such problems as the credit crunch, climate change and, critically, stand-up comedy. Please note there is a strict no refunds policy on problems that you feel he hasn’t solved. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 7pm, £8/6
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Legless 'N' Harmless Two guys live together. One has no use of his arms; the other, no use of his legs. This is a comedy duo that will sell their souls for a single laugh. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8.30pm, £7/5
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FRIDAY 30 AMSTERDAM Pride Halloween Fundraising Special. A whole weekend of ghostly fun raising money towards Pride's fundraising appeal. 7pm, £Donations CHARLES STREET BAR Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies. Bar open 11am, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Flauncy Friday. Dance & house. 9.30pm–2am, free LEGENDS Pre-Celebration. Pure pop. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Girl’s Night. Two floors of mayhem with guest DJs. 8pm, free
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QUEEN’S ARMS Camp Attack + Karaoke. Definitive handbag tunes with DJ Andy B. 9pm, free R-BAR Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Lollipop Halloween Special Plus X Factor Fridays. Raise your hands as each X Factor finalist takes a turn to cause a Revenge ruckus! 10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after THE BASEMENT Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Double the DJ power with Peter Castle playing girly pop & handbag tracks all night long. 11pm–4am, free THEATRE ROYAL Rocky Horror Show (see Tues). 6pm/9pm, £30.50-35.50
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SATURDAY 31 AMSTERDAM Pride Halloween Fundraising Special. 7pm, £ Donations CHARLES STREET CLUB Mardi Gras. HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3. LEGENDS Rocky Horror Halloween. Join that Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual Frank N. Furter and his weird and crazy gang for the Rocky Horror Halloween Party. 8pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Queen Jo at the Marly offers fab funky house. 9pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Lillie La France + Karaoke. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30–5.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin til midnite! Bar open Bar open 12pm, free R-BAR Kinky Classics. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous. Bar open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Kinky Dangerous Halloween Party. 5 top DJs, 2 floors of creepy funky house, electro and pop equals 6.5 hours of fangtastic frolics! 10.30pm–5am, £7/3 THE PV AT THE JURY’S OUT Pride Halloween. Ghastly decor and sounds courtesy of DJ Soap. 8pm, Donations on the door THE ZONE Miss Hap's Halloween. A fabulous evening of cabaret and scary frolics! 9.30pm, free THEATRE ROYAL Rocky Horror Show (see Tues). 6pm/9pm, £30.50-35.50
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SUNDAY 1 NOVEMBER AMSTERDAM Pride Halloween Fundraising Special. 7pm, £Donations DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Recovery Room + Electro Therapy. DJ D.A.B will be mixing a concoction of funky and dirty electro house on prescription! 8pm, free KOMEDIA Bent Double. Comedy hosted by Mock The Week's Zoe Lyons. 7.30pm, £10 LEGENDS Sunday Cabaret. 3.15pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Sunday Quiz. With your host, Cat. 7pm, £1 entry QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Boy George Experience + Betty’s Karaoke. 12pm, free REVENGE Charity fundraiser for Pride. 10.30pm–4am, Donations on the door THE BASEMENT Fever. Disco and pop remixes. 11pm–4am, free
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MONDAY 2 CHARLES STREET CLUB Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin party tracks spanning four decades. 10pm–2am, £1.50 LEGENDS Dave Lynn and Friends, cabaret 9.30pm. 11am–5am, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Trans Night. Hosted with the Clare Project. 8.30pm, free QUEENS ARMS Deal or No Deal Drinks + Karaoke. 8pm–1am, free THE BASEMENT Chic. Decades of delicious disco anthems. 11pm-4am, free
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035_LS447_reviews
10/22/09
5:32 PM
Page 1
REVIEWS
35
L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk FRISKY AND MANNISH
Tuaca, our promised host Robin Ince explained that he had another gig to go to shortly and entertained us with stories of how he no longer fits into orthodox comedy nights, proceeding to set us up for an engagingly unorthodox evening. Martin White captivated on the accordion, Seann Walsh took over compere duties announcing this was his last gig as a Brightonian, and Brian Gittins and Angelos shone through with their bizarre but hilarious character comedy. Bookended by improv group The Noise Next Door, this truly demonstrated what necessity there is for a Fringe – and how well it can be done. Dome Concert Hall, 2 October ✪✪✪✪✪ Victoria Nangle
This pair of mischievous, polished, hint of burlesque, dollop of cabaret and whack of comedy performers have fair earned their accolade stripes, starting a little over a year ago and already becoming the toast of three entertainment circuits. The show was formatted as a School Of Pop, encouraging active participation at times and dolling out classes in literary influence and historical flavour, mixed with highly entertaining interpretations of pop songs. Frisky's vocal acrobatics and knowing winks to the audience played up to the diva persona she had generated, while Mannish's dancing was a true light hidden under a bushel as he surprised us all with his grace. So fantastic I felt myself well up at the end of the evening at their talent. Cads. Pavilion Theatre, 14 October ✪✪✪✪✪ Victoria Nangle
GRUMPY OLD WOMEN 2 Grumpy old women (and the odd man) clearly know what they like and whoop with delight when they hear it. Principally, what the audience seemed to like was comedian Susie Blake throwing in the odd F-word during one of her Ben Eltonesque monologues against everything from fashion to the young (“7st of fake tan in a pair of Ugg boots”). Jenny Eclair’s impassioned calls to turn your back on Per Una (“It’s like heroin and, before you know it, you’re dressed like a giant tea cosy”) also struck a nerve, as did Wendi Peters’ confession that she has 87 Bags For Life because she always forgets to take them out of the car. This is the comedy of the warm and the familiar and left the mainly middle-aged audience anything but grumpy. The Dome Concert Hall, 19 October ✪✪✪✪✪ Adam Fisher
RAIN MAN The task of staging such a vast movie could have been the downfall of this production but the simplicity of the design, which swipes and cross-fades with shutters, allowed the company to give the most enthralling rendering. At the core, Oliver Chris and Neil Morrissey gave breathtaking performances that had us on the edge of our seats. Chris delivered with a pace that defined the desperation of his character’s life. Morrissey, clearly not content to merely ape Hoffman, gave the performance of a lifetime, never once letting his character slip out of his insular autistic world – until, that is, he was ready to. Compelling theatre made of cinema – beautifully played. Theatre Royal, 12 October ✪✪✪✪✪ Andrew Kay
KATE WALSH THE BRIGHTON COMEDY FRINGE LAUNCH Anything can happen at a Brighton Comedy Fringe launch, and invariably does. Greeted by a shot of Photo: Ed Moore
Robin Ince
There are way too many singersongwriters at the moment. But, when you're good, you're worth it. And Kate Walsh is good. With a fragile, pure and yearning voice allied to some very decent piano and guitar playing, her folky, country and classical leanings were leant weight by the excellent accompanying cellist, plus a couple of duets with Ollie Knight of Turin Brakes. Although perhaps a little bit too caught up with the men in her life (there must be more to life than men!) her songs are honest statements of personal truth, not fancy. The Hanbury Club, 21 October ✪✪✪✪✪ Jeff Hemmings
Do you disagree with our verdict on one of these shows? comment@thelatest.co.uk
FIERY RHOD RHOD GILBERT Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 13 October ✪✪✪✪✪
R
hod Gilbert is getting big. Big enough to have been chosen as the face of Visit Wales’s TV advertising campaign. Big enough that his Magners Brighton Comedy Festival show was upgraded from the Corn Exchange to the Concert Hall. Big enough that we overheard a bunch of blokes on the train the other day guffawing over their recreation of his “luggage” joke, while on 13 October the Concert Hall resounded to calls for “the one with the candles!” The real measure of the 40something’s genius, of course, is that he's managed to get big while talking – as the luggage and candles will tell you – about the most petty, cliched, smalltime subjects in British comedy. His last show, Rhod Gilbert And The Award-Winning Mince Pie (which has just come out on DVD), was set almost entirely in a motorway service station. His latest, Rhod Gilbert And The Cat That Looked Like Nicholas Lyndhurst, is a less structured tirade on such topics
as hoover shopping, Innocent smoothies, the pre-wash button on washing machines and the time he was upstaged by a sundried tomato in Pontypridd. No topic is too puny to invoke Rhod’s interrogatory rage – a supremely creative mode in which the rolling ‘r’s of his Welsh accent are put to expressive, spittle-flecked use, and it becomes impossible not to compare him – even when he’s expressly warned us not to – to John Cleese. But with Rhod, tiny irritations beget grand gestures: when it comes to contemplating life’s occurrences, as he put it himself, he doesn’t take a step back, he takes a run up. The entire show title, it emerged, was adopted merely to foil the irritating fan who insists on turning up to each new show with a gift of the item mentioned in the title. Ha, thought Rhod, he'll never be able to find a cat that looks like Nicholas Lyndhurst... will he? Bella Todd
>Latest 7 is expanding its live reviews team… ...and we are on the look out for volunteers. Do you have a way with words, a free evening or two and a passion for theatre, music, comedy or dance? Send two 100 word samples of your reviewing style to bella@thelatest.co.uk
036_LS447_Sports/TV_Column
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10/23/09
9:48 AM
Page 2
L7 TV
SPORT | TV
L7 Sport
YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE
27 OCT – 2 NOV
With Tony Marks
Fantasy football
Telly Talk With Victoria Nangle
Our football pundit picks his dream World Cup squad
E
ngland have qualified for the World Cup with Fabio Capello picking 55 players during qualification – but there are only 23 places on the plane to South Africa, so here’s the squad I think he should select. If David James stays at Portsmouth this season he’ll have plenty of opportunities to prove that he’s still England’s number one, but Robert Green will push him all the way. The third ‘keeper, is between Paul Robinson and Ben Foster, but with Foster slipping down the order at Manchester United, the Blackburn man has the edge. For me, the back four picks itself. Rio Ferdinand may have his critics, but he’ll soon be back to his best, and his partnership with John Terry is proven. Ashley Cole and Glen Johnson are both lethal attacking full backs, and Johnson’s defensive game will improve during the Champion’s League for Liverpool. The fact that many pundits believe Matthew Upson should be in the starting 11 shows how much he has developed this year. Wes Brown’s ability to play in the centre or as right back gives him a place, and Wayne Bridge understudying Cole is a no-brainer. Perhaps my most surprising inclusion is Gary Cahill. So far unused “No-one inspires by England, his standout performances in a dreary Bolton side the team (and suggest he deserves a role. Capello has worked out that the only fans) like David way Steven Gerrard and Frank Beckham does – Lampard can play together is by putting the Liverpool captain on the and he can win left, and the reliable Gareth Barry in the middle with Lamps. We won’t see games with just Stevie G in the ‘engine room’ position, but he’ll assist Rooney from the wing, one free kick” which is vital if the goal-shy Heskey gets the nod. Theo Walcott will terrorise opposing defences, as can Joe Cole, whose match-winning performances last year, on the left and right, means he’s essential now that he’s fit again. The remaining central midfield place goes to the ever improving James Milner over the injured Owen Hargreaves, who has been out too long for me. The big question is whether we can afford a place to David Beckham. Well, no-one else inspires the team (and fans) like he does, and he can win games with just one free kick or cross. He must go! Up front, if Wayne Rooney scores goals England will go far – simple! The Emile Heskey scenario doesn’t make sense on paper (doesn’t score enough/can’t get in the Villa side) but it works on the pitch. Peter Crouch is a natural stand-in for him, and will get goals too. Darren Bent and Jermain Defoe are both playing their way onto the plane as the Premier League’s top scoring Englishmen so far this season, and complete my squad. Roll on 2010! Listen to Sport Saturday with Tony Marks on Saturday afternoons from 2pm on Brighton’s Juice 107.2.
License to thrill Spooks, BBC, coming soon
P
ut aside all thoughts of multitasking when Spooks enters the room. There’s no point thinking you’re going to be able to peel the spuds, check Facebook or even do your homework when this bad boy’s on. It grabs your attention by the jugula, sticks the cold hard steel of a standard MI5 revolver nose at your temple and demands you pay attention. What a way to self-invest in the jeopardy taking place on your screen. And it all kicks off with big chief’s Harry’s execution. (Admit it, you thought I was over-egging it just a bit). Alright, so we don’t know if it’s a real execution or a clever mock-up, but either way Harry’s in peril. Fair enough, you might say. That’s how we left him at the end of the last series’ cliffhanger. Yes, but this is a different kind of peril altogether, with a different nasty threatening all kinds of gruesome things to the the ones he cares for – including Ruth! Isn’t she supposed to be
pretending to be dead? Apparently she’s not doing such a bang up job as she blips up on the radar of evil, and her pragmatism seems to have softened somewhat in the intervening years, leaving her less sympathetic to the whole ‘ruthless spy’ behaviour. Add to the mix hard-nosed Ros, cutting to the bottom line as ever; smooth-talking Lucas, already charming the new CIA London liason with his twinkly eyes; encyclopeadic Malcolm, with a heart of gold and the most random facts at his fingertips; and brighteyed and bushy-tailed Jo, still ready to learn. The whole team’s here. Doesn’t necessarily mean that Harry will be though. Spooks is renowned for taking ruthless twists. Whether it was one of its few stars in the first series being killed in a deep fat fryer only a few epsiodes in (a classic twist stolen from Hitchcock’s Psycho when he killed his star Janet Leigh before the halfway mark had been reached) or double agents suddenly appearing from the safest of corners. This opener doesn’t look set to let standards drop. Want to know more? Let’s just say that there are not one but two events we have been asked not to reveal. And that’s just the first episode. Corking! Now, if only their wrinkles actually showed up on film, this could be perfect.
CHRISTMAS IS COMING... 100,000
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WEEKLY CHRISTMAS GIFT GUIDES! To book your space today please contact Rachel on 01273 818150 x 105 or rachelb@thelatest.co.uk
037_LS447_TV_Tues
10/22/09
2:30 PM
Page 1
tuesday 27 7 Days On The Breadline ITV1, 9pm These regular folks who swapped lives with the celebs have got an awful lot of trust in the rich and famous. Mel B’s got her hands full trying to get an 18-year-old out of bed and ready for a court date, whereas Keith Allen is having difficulties bonding with the eldest two of his six kids. Best get Lily in to serenade them.
Make Me White BBC1, 10.35pm Anita Rani investigates the multimillion pound business of skin lightening cosmetics, and why there is such a demand for them in the Asian community. She kicks off by questioning her own family, and her mother’s interest in fairer skin, along with the cultural pressures to ‘lighten up’. Why has this trend developed?
It’s Only A Theory BBC4, 10pm Another chance to catch these humourous examinations of the meaning of life, the way we live and who we are – but only as a series of theories put forward by a collection of brainy bods to comics Reg D Hunter and Andy Hamilton. Their guest assessor is Clare Balding this week. Which theories will pass? They decide.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 What’s New Scooby Doo? 3.45 Bernard 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Raven 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 ChuckleVision 9.15 ChuckleVision 9.30 Frankenstein’s Cat 9.40 Frankenstein’s Cat 9.50 League Of Super Evil 10.00 Trapped 10.30 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 10.40 Gastronuts 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Living In The Sun 2.30 Animal Park 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.05am Sali Mali 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.50 Frasier 8.20 Frasier 8.50 The McCain Track And Field Show 9.20 Friends 9.50 FILM: Mighty Joe Young (1998) 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Without A Trace 1.20 FILM: Young Sherlock Holmes (1985) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Ricky and Sam’s romantic night in ends in chaos. Of course it does – look who it is! 8.00 Holby City Drama series. Donna deals with the effects from her dad’s will and finds herself on an adventure, where she discovers more than she bargained for. 9.00 Around The World In 80 Days A re-enactment of Jules Verne’s literary odyssey for 2009’s BBC Children in Need. The race continues with Matt Baker and Julia Bradbury from Countryfile. Can they travel 3,700 miles from Kazakhstan to China in just 14 days? Not if they stick to picturesque lanes and nooks. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Make Me White See highlights. 11.15 Film 2009 With Jonathan Ross The latest film reviews, news and interviews. Writer Nick Hornby joins Jonathan to discuss his script for An Education, a new British film tipped to be a contender for awards. 11.45 The Graham Norton Show The anarchic talk show. 12.30am Weatherview 12.35 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.05 Last Chance To See 2.05 Saving Britain’s Past 2.35 MasterChef The Professionals 3.20 BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing It Takes Two Claudia is joined by the saved couple, and looks at the highs and lows of the weekend’s dances in Choreography Corner. 7.00 Ray Mears Northern Wilderness Ray Mears takes an epic adventure into Canada’s unforgiving, yet stunning wilderness. 8.00 James May’s Toy Stories James May is out to prove why traditional, old fashioned toys are still relevant today when he pushes them to the limit in spectacular, supersize challenges. This time, James takes model aeroplanes to a whole new level. Sounds like the best Christmas morning ever. Massive toys! 9.00 Horizon: Fix Me Following the emotional journey of three young people with currently untreatable conditions to see if within their lifetime, they can be cured. They’ve all heard about the potential of stem cells to heal the body. Now they’ve been given access to the scientists who could transform their lives. 10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland Jools is joined by Maxwell, Stereophonics, Diana Krall, Wild Beasts and The Unthanks. 10.30 Newsnight. 11.20 The World’s Greatest Money Maker: Evan Davis Meets Warren Buffett Repeat. 12.20am BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Ignoring Jimmy’s warning, Carl determines to steal back Cain’s money. Daft hay’peth. 7.30 Grimefighters Series following the work of Britain’s clean-up crews. John Waite, the ‘Sheriff of Grimsby’, raids a run-down bric-a-brac shop and finds a nightmare waiting to happen. don’t watch this while you’re having your tea. It’ll put you right off. 8.00 Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Ten hopeful contestants compete in for a place in the hotseat opposite Chris Tarrant, and the chance to walk away with the top prize of one million pounds. Mwa-haha-ha-haaaaa! 9.00 7 Days On The Breadline See highlights. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Dishing The Dirt Rebecca Wilcox and Phil Vickery present the series which takes a critical look at Britain’s seventy billion-pound food industry. Icky. 11.30 In Plain Sight Drama about a US Marshal. Ex-con Dennis joins witness protection, but a series of murders seems to follow him - as well as the stabbing of a friend of Mary’s. Not a popular dude then. 12.25am Guinness Premiership Rugby 1.15 Loose Women 2.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 2.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Newt refuses to accept that Rae was not real. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 How To Look Good Naked Makeover series. Gok Wan meets 30-year-old Jane from Birkenhead, whose body has shrunk to a size 10 after having three children. Gok also takes a look at the underpants of the lads from Bromsgrove Rugby Club. Surely bods usually get bigger after kids. Remarkable lady. 9.00 The Force Documentary series which follows Hampshire Constabulary police as they attempt to solve major crimes. 10.00 Bleach, Nip, Tuck: The White Beauty Myth Documentary examining the emerging trend for deracialisation surgery through the stories of six people who want to go to extreme lengths to Westernise their bodies and faces. Ethical conflicts all over the shop tonight. 11.05 Derren Brown: Trick Of The Mind 2 Psychological illusionist Derren Brown travels around the country demonstrating his unique powers. Ne ne na noo, ne ne na noo. 11.40 The Real Housewives Of New Jersey Reality series. 12.40am Full Tilt Late Night Poker 1.40 Freesports On 4 Freeze: Sponsored By LG 2.55 Freesports On 4 3.25 Volvo Ocean Race
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.38 Milkshake! Show Songs 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Diet Doctors: Inside & Out 12.40pm Five News 12.50 How To Be A Property Developer 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 FILM: Reversible Errors (2004) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Nicole finds out the whole town know about her and Sid. Ruby is terrified to find Grant back in town. 6.25 Live From Studio Five 7.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. 8.00 Nature Shock: Elephant Graveyard Documentary series examining freak occurrences in the natural world. This instalment explores the mysterious deaths of a family of five elephants in a remote Indian village. 9.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama. The CSIs delve into the seedy side of air travel when a flight attendant is brutally murdered. Plus, a nifty if somewhat urban legendy ‘romper room’ turns up on the plane. Really? 10.00 CSI: NY Crime drama. The wife of a former CSI is found dead in a motel room. The case takes a gruesome turn when the team discovers heroin found on the corpse has been extracted from human bodies. Urgh. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. A building collapse that kills three elderly women has Catherine puzzled and at odds with the district engineer. 12.00am The FBI Files 12.55 SuperCasino 3.00 PGA Tour Golf 3.50 V8 Supercars 4.40 Boxing Classic 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home & Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Netbusters 9.30 Football League: Championship 11.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.00pm SPL Round-Up 12.30 Football League: Championship 2.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.00 Netbusters 3.30 Football League: Championship 5.00 Netbusters 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Hyundai A League 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 Hyundai A League 12.00am Carling Cup Football 1.30 Revista De La Liga 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 Hyundai A League 3.30 Carling Cup Football 5.00 Hyundai A League
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 8.00 British Young Carp Angling Championship 9.00 Polocrosse 9.30 Wild Spirits 10.00 Poker 11.30 Formula Kart Stars 12.00pm Fishing: Thinking Tackle 1.00 Poker 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Sailing: Med Cup 4.00 Formula Kart Stars 4.30 Poker 6.00 Formula Kart Stars 6.30 World Pool Masters 7.30 LIVE: Carling Cup Football 10.00 Poker Million 12.00am Golf: Challenge Series 2009 12.30 Bowls 2.30 Sports Unlimited 3.30 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 4.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 8.00am The Premiership Years 10.00 Sailing: Med Cup 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Spruce Meadows 1.00 Sailing: Med Cup 2.00 Adrenaline Adventures 2.30 Polocrosse 3.00 British Young Carp Angling Championship 4.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 5.00 NFL – Total Access 6.00 Wild Spirits 6.30 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 7.00 Sailing 7.30 LIVE: Greyhound Racing: William Hill St Leger 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am Pool: World Pool Masters 1.00 Spruce Meadows Victoria Nangle
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1.00pm Project Runway 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Stargate Universe 9.00 Ross Kemp Behind The Story 9.30 Ross Kemp: Return To Afghanistan 10.30 House 11.30 Lie To Me 12.30am Fringe
7.00pm Doctor Who 8.05 Doctor Who Confidential 8.30 Bizarre Animal ER 9.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Don’t Get Screwed 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 Don’t Tell The Bride 12.45am The World’s Strictest Parents 1.40 Don’t Get Screwed 2.10 Bizarre Animal ER 2.40 Bizarre ER
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Tales From The Green Valley 8.00 Life 9.00 Ghosts In The Machine 10.00 It’s Only A Theory. See highlights. 10.30 FILM: Exiled (2006) 12.15am Ghosts In The Machine 1.15 Men In The City: Storyville 2.15 It’s Only A Theory 2.45 Ghosts In The Machine
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 9.00 FILM: Ocean’s Eleven (2001) 11.20 FILM: The Saint (1997) 1.35am Emmerdale 2.00 American Princess 2.50 Teleshopping
1.10pm Heartbeat 2.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.15 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.15 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 The Specsavers Crime Thriller Awards 2009 10.30 Inspector Morse 12.40am Cadfael 2.05 Cracker
1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny 11.00 Samantha Who? 11.30 RuPaul’s Drag Race 12.35am Rick And Steve
3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs Revisited 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Location, Location, Location 10.00 True Stories 11.40 Location, Location, Location 12.45am True Stories
11.00am Lost (1955) 12.45pm Carrington VC (1954) 2.50 The Fighting Kentuckian (1949) 4.45 Terry Gilliam Interview 4.55 The Way We Were (1973) 7.15 Bedazzled (2000) 9.00 Clear And Present Danger (1994) 11.40 The Tree Of Wooden Clogs (1978) 3.25am Close
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wednesday 28 Jimmy’s Food Factory BBC1, 7.30pm When most of us wonder what’s in a sandwich many will simply answer – stuff. Not our Jimmy. In his crusade to investigate supermarket convenience food, he investigates how shop bread can stay soft for over a week, what else makes up processed cheese if only 60 per cent is cheese – and what IS in that sandwich?
Britain’s Best Brain Five, 8pm Jamie Theakston and Zoe Ball – together again after ten years doing different things that were completely different. He acted! Yes, he did. She did lots of DJ’ing! You better believe it. Now they’ve reunited for this new eight-part series in which players tackle five tasks, testing different parts of the brain. Welcome back.
Gossip Girl ITV2, 8pm Plenty more from Gossip Girl as a new school year starts and uni gets into full swing. Jenny’s keen to take up the reins as new Queen Bee, but Blair may not be quite so happy to pass them on. Meanwhile, Vanessa gets a movie star roommate at NYU – doesn’t everyone? Guest stars Hilary Duff and Tyra Banks.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 What’s New Scooby Doo? 3.45 Bernard 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Keep Your Enemies Close 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Arthur 8.15 What’s New ScoobyDoo? 8.35 Zombie Hotel 9.00 Prank Patrol 9.30 Frankenstein’s Cat 9.40 Frankenstein’s Cat 9.50 League Of Super Evil 10.00 Trapped 10.35 Gastronuts 11.05 The Flintstones 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 Lifeline 2.15 Animal Park 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.15am The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.25 Everybody Loves Raymond 7.55 Frasier 8.25 Frasier 9.00 The McCain Track And Field Show 9.30 Friends 10.00 FILM: The Water Babies (1978) 11.45 All Time Greatest Science Scams 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Without A Trace 1.20 FILM: Bogus (1996) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 – 8.40am Children’s television 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Diet Doctors: Inside & Out 12.40pm Five News 12.50 How To Be A Property Developer 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.00 The Family Recipe 3.10 FILM: Mystery Woman: Sing Me A Murder (2005) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x2) 8.00 Revista De La Liga 8.55 Live International Cricket 5.30pm NFL – Total Access 6.30 European Tour Weekly 7.00 LIVE: Football: Carling Cup 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am Carling Cup Football 1.30 Poker Million 3.30 Carling Cup Football 5.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Barclays Singapore Open
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Jimmy’s Food Factory See highlights. 8.00 Waterloo Road Drama series. War breaks out in the playground after the closure of a local private school leads to an influx of middle class pupils at Waterloo Road. Those middle class kids are dead hard. 9.00 Crimewatch Kirsty and the team work with the police to appeal for help in cracking unsolved cases and bringing criminals to justice. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws The midweek National Lottery draws. 10.45 Crimewatch Update Updates on recently-featured cases. Adopt the nightmare-avoidal position. 10.55 The League Cup Show Arsenal play Liverpool, Chelsea host Bolton and Manchester City hope to avoid a potential banana skin against Scunthorpe. Make sense of that. 11.55 FILM: A Guide To Recognising Your Saints (2006) Starring Dianne Wiest, Robert Downey Jr. Electrifying coming-of-age drama about a man revisiting his troubled youth in 1980s New York. 1.30am Weatherview 1.35 Sign Zone: Gandhi 2.35 Country Tracks 3.30 MasterChef The Professionals 4.15 BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia takes a peek into the training rooms to find out how the couples are shaping-up for the weekend. Dancer-shape hopefully. 7.00 Coast At RAF Valley in Anglesey, Neil Oliver discovers if he has got what it takes to fly fast fighter jets. A plane? 8.00 Natural World Wildlife documentary. In the forests of northern Minnesota, Biologist Lynn Rogers uses food to gain the trust of wild black bears. 9.00 Andrew Marr’s The Making Of Modern Britain In the first of a six part series, Andrew Marr revisits Britain at the dawn of the 20th century. Loads happening then. 10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic, award-winning pop quiz. Regular team captains Noel Fielding and Phill Jupitus are joined by guest host Frank Skinner and guests dance superstar Calvin Harris, comedian Jon Richardson, presenter Fearne Cotton and UK hip hop star Tinchy Stryder. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Alan Whicker’s Journey Of A Lifetime Alan Whicker travels the world on a journey reflecting his varied career. In this first episode, Whicker revisits Venice. 12.20am An Island Parish 12.50 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Ashley sees off Vincent once and for all. Debbie is shocked by Charity’s return. Chas has been on an electrician’s course – boom! Boom! 7.30 Coronation Street Pam warns Kevin to stay away from Molly or else. Kirk has some touching words for Tony. Ah. Everybody needs a Kirk. 8.00 Midsomer Murders The peace of Little Worthy is shattered by a bizarre murder when a man is found stabbed and tied down like Gulliver in Lilliput in the sleepy hamlet’s model village. Barnaby and Jones are called in to investigate. Well, if you’re going to live in a village with a fairytale name bizarre happenings are likely. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Cops With Cameras The programme goes on the front-line with police as they wage war on drug dealing, theft and street violence. Officers from all over Britain are fitted with specially adapted body cameras to give a unique cop’s-eye view of what life is like for the nation’s bobbies. 11.35 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 12.30am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.20 Loose Women 2.10 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.05 Make Me An Apprentice: Tonight 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks When Newt turns up at Rae’s house, she has no idea who he is. Bit of a head-scratcher. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Ruth Watson’s Hotel Rescue Ambitious couple Louise and Liam aim to convert a property in Margate into a luxury bed and breakfast. 9.00 Did Heston Change Little Chef? Six months after attempting to turn around the fortunes of troubled restaurant chain Little Chef, Heston Blumenthal revisits the trial branch in Popham. Who’s having the Beaujolais Nouveau with their egg ‘n’ chips? 10.00 True Blood Fantasy adventure series. Jason is again the number one suspect, after the town’s second murder in a week. Knowing that both of the victims had frequented the Fangtasia vampire club, Sookie asks Bill to take her there. Watch out for hottie vamp Eric! Lush. 11.15 Generation Kill Drama series set in the Iraq War. After capturing an Iraqi airstrip, the First Recon are ahead of the other troops, giving them time to regroup. 12.35am 4 Music: Wilco: Ashes Of American Flags 1.05 Rimmel London Presents The World’s Greatest Pop Star: Take That 2.00 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 3.50 Invasion 4.30 St Elsewhere 5.20 Countdown
6.00 Home And Away Summer Bay deals with the shock of Grant’s murder. Not a popular chap though. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. An RAF crew battles strong winds to get to an injured climber. Do you think they’re trapped on a ridge or in a nook? Glad these chaps are close by. 8.00 Britain’s Best Brain See highlights. 9.00 FILM: Collateral Damage (2002) Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Elias Koteas, John Leguizamo, John Turturro. Explosive action thriller in which a firefighter, frustrated at the lack of progress being made in the investigation into a terrorist bombing which killed his wife and child, decides to go after those responsible himself. Do any emergency services folks in USland have family that aren’t kidnapped or killed in a vengeful-prompting way? 11.10 Vice Squad Series following the work of the Metropolitan Police Vice Unit. But in a good way. 12.10am PartyPoker.com World Open V 1.35 SuperCasino 3.00 2009 Summer X Games3.55 Rolex Grand Am 4.45 Challenge Tour Golf 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Hyundai A League 7.00 Golf: Challenge Series 2009 7.30 Football Asia 8.00 Sailing 8.30 Hyundai A League 9.00 Polocrosse 9.30 Carling Cup Football 11.00 Hyundai A League 11.30 Revista De La Liga 12.30pm Carling Cup Football 2.00 Hyundai A League 2.30 Football Asia 3.00 Revista De La Liga 4.00 Carling Cup Football 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Adrenaline Adventures 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Golf 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 Trans World Sport 11.00 NFL – Total Access 12.00am International Cricket 2.00 Golf 3.00 Summer Speed Motor Sport
Sky Sports 3 7.00am World Pool Masters 8.00 The Premiership Years 10.00 Poker Million 12.00pm Bowls 2.00 Adrenaline Adventures 2.30 Polocrosse 3.00 Sports Unlimited 4.00 World Pool Masters 5.00 Watersports World 6.00 Summer Speed Motor Sport 7.00 Total Rugby 7.30 Trans World Sport 8.30 European Tour Weekly 9.00 Golf 10.00 DTM Motor Racing 11.00 Total Rugby 11.30 European Tour Weekly 12.00am Golf 1.00 Tenpin Bowling 2.00 DTM Motor Racing 3.00 F3 Euroseries
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2.00pm Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons 7.30 Ricky Gervais On Alex Zane’s Guest List 8.00 Project Runway 9.00 NCIS: LA (x2) 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Street Wars 1.50 Road Wars 2.40 Don’t Forget The Lyrics
7.00pm Doctor Who 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 FILM: Camp Rock (2008) 10.35 Family Guy (x2) 11.20 Who Made Me Fat? 12.20am Don’t Get Screwed 12.50 Don’t Tell The Bride 1.50 Russell Howard’s Good News 2.20 Who Made Me Fat? 3.20 Don’t Get Screwed 3.50 The World’s Strictest Parents
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Golden Age Of Liners 8.30 Art Deco Icons 9.00 High Flyer – How Britain Took To The Air 10.00 Flight Of The Conchords 10.30 It’s Only A Theory 11.00 Wallander 12.30am High Flyer - How Britain Took To The Air 1.30 Art Deco Icons 2.00 It’s Only A Theory
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 7.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Gossip Girl. See highlights. 9.00 Trinity 10.00 FILM: Ocean’s Twelve (2004) 12.30am Coronation Street 1.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA
1.10pm Heartbeat 2.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.15 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.15 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Numb3rs 10.00 FILM: Hand Of A Murderer (1990) 12.00am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.05 Cane
2.05pm Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: XMen: The Last Stand (2006) 11.05 School Of Comedy 11.40 Fonejacker 12.10am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 How I Met Your Mother
3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Bremner, Bird And Fortune 10.00 The Force 11.10 Saving Grace 12.10am Bremner, Bird And Fortune 1.10 The Force
11.00am A Bell For Adano (1945) 1.05pm The Black Swan (1942) 2.45 Girls! Girls! Girls! (1962) 4.40 The Triumph Of Love (2002) 6.50 Flight Of The Phoenix (2004) 9.00 The Sum Of All Fears (2002) 11.20 The Messengers (2007) 1.05am Late Night Shopping (2001)
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thursday 29 The Restaurant BBC2, 8pm It’s back for a third series – nine couples each believing they have a cuisine theme that’ll knock all the competitions' boots right into their soup. Raymond Blanc and his partners will be investing their own hard-earned dosh in the winner’s restaurant, so standards are high. But first, one unlucky team has to leave.
The Event: How Racist Are You? Channel 4, 10pm Way back in the ‘60s, anti-racism activist Jane Elliott conducted a social experiment in which school children were discriminated against on the basis of their eye colour. Now she does it again, but with 30 contemporary adult Brits. The clever bods pass comment.
Hung More4, 10pm He’s just a gigolo, everywhere he goes. Yes, what other career would a self-respecting cashstrapped teacher go into but selling himself sexually to the highest bidder? Or just to someone who can afford him for the night. The latest bizarre drama from the States to hit our fair shores. See how it pans out.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Uncle Max 3.35 Eliot Kid 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Raven 4.35 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Arthur 8.15 What’s New ScoobyDoo? 8.35 Zombie Hotel 9.00 The Slammer 9.30 Frankenstein’s Cat 9.40 Frankenstein’s Cat 9.50 League Of Super Evil 10.00 Trapped 10.30 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 10.40 Gastronuts 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Living In The Sun 2.30 Animal Park 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman returns with all the backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action from the world of Strictly Come Dancing. 7.00 The Culture Show Lauren Laverne presents from the Glasgow School of Art. Lots of arty influence there, and it’s having a birthday! 8.00 The Restaurant See highlights. 9.00 Defying Gravity Sci-fi drama. Taboos are broken and lines are crossed as the personal and professional relationships on the Antares and on Earth continue to intensify, while the unseen power behind the mission begins to create both cellular and psychological transformations among the astronauts. Wowzers. 9.45 Wonderland: The British In Bed From their own double beds, British couples talk with disarming frankness about sex, infidelity, love and marriage. From the Brixton teenagers to the retired Jewish caterers looking back on 50 years together. Ah, love. *sigh* 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Paul Merton Looks At Alfred Hitchcock Documentary in which Paul Merton explores Alfred Hitchcock’s early British films. 12.20am FILM: The Thirty Nine Steps (1935) 1.45 BBC News
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish
6.05am The Treacle People 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.25 Frasier 9.00 The McCain Track And Field Show 9.30 Friends 10.00 Friends 10.30 FILM: The Rugrats Movie (1998) 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: The Estate 12.35 Without A Trace 1.20 FILM: Project X (1987) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Cain reluctantly agrees to give Charity a second chance. WHY??!!! 7.30 Countrywise Today Paul Heiney is at Witley Court in Worcestershire, which was one of the great stately homes of England until it was destroyed by fire over 70 years ago. 8.00 Emmerdale Following the attack, Ashley insists that Sally moves back into the vicarage. 8.30 Coronation Street Tony collapses in pain outside the factory. Has someone shot him? Go on! 9.00 The Bill After calls from concerned resident Angie Burgess, Smithy leads a raid on an estate which has become a hotbed of criminal activity. The key objective is to bring down drug dealer Dave Clayton, but their search for incriminating drugs comes up dry. Bit of a wash out there then. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Katherine Jenkins Piers Morgan’s biographical chat show continues with a candid interview with popular and glamorous classical songstress Katherine Jenkins. 11.35 The Last Word 12.05am Surface 12.55 Motorsport UK 1.45 The Cosby Mysteries 2.35 Loose Women 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Newt decides to ditch his emo look. What does he look like without black? Scary idea. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Location, Location, Location Kirstie and Phil look for homes for two couples around Exeter in Devon. Nick and Nancy have a generous budget of £600,000 with which to find a rural family house, while Al and Debbie want a country property for £375,000 or less. Ideally less. 9.00 Katie: My Beautiful Face A budding model and TV presenter who was the victim of a horrific acid attack which destroyed her face tells her story for the first time. Cameras follow Katie, who has waived her right to anonymity, as she attempts to rebuild her life and undergoes pioneering treatment. 10.00 The Event: How Racist Are You? See highlights. 11.00 Without A Trace Drama. The team attempts to locate a private investigator who has gone missing while doing undercover work. 12.00am 4 Music: Muse: Video Exclusive 12.05 Teachers. Lighthearted drama series. 1.10 FILM: Election (2005) 2.50 Supporting Acts 3.05 The Force 4.00 Unreported World 4.25 Dispatches: Do You Know What’s In Your Breakfast? 5.20 Countdown
6.00 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 Roary The Racing Car 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Diet Doctors: Inside & Out 12.40pm Five News 12.50 How To Be A Property Developer 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.05 FILM: Surviving Love (2003) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Charlie becomes convinced Robertson is out to get her. She’s not having a good time of it lately. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Building The Ultimate This episode looks at the submarine. How does this amazing craft withstand the huge amount of water pressure in the depths of the ocean? Luck. 8.00 Big, Bigger, Biggest Documentary examining the evolution of modern engineering. The largest and most advanced telescope in the world – the Large Binocular Telescope in Arizona. The only way to watch martians hanging out their washing. 9.00 Vice Squad Series following the work of the Met’s Unit. 10.00 FILM: Double Team (1997) Starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dennis Rodman, Mickey Rourke. Thriller about a CIA agent who is interned for failing in a mission to kill an international terrorist. Escaping from his island exile, he teams up with a flamboyant arms dealer and together they set out to find the terrorist and rescue the agent’s wife and son. A match made in heaven. 11.50 The Sexy Ads Show Guess what this is about. Can you? 12.15am SuperCasino 4.00 NFL Replay 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf: Barclays Singapore Open 9.00 LIVE Golf: Volvo World Matchplay Championship 12.00pm FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 Carling Cup Football 2.00 LIVE Golf: Volvo World Matchplay Championship 5.00 NFL 6.00 Barclays Premier League World 6.30 Carling Cup Football 7.30 LIVE: Sky Sports Victory Shield Football 9.30 Carling Cup Football 10.30 Time Of Our Lives 11.30 Barclays Premier League World 12.00am Carling Cup Football 1.00 Barclays Premier League World 1.30 Sky Sports Victory Shield Football 3.30 Time Of Our Lives 4.30 Barclays Premier League World 5.00 LIVE European Tour Golf
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Janine and Ryan’s efforts to seduce and conquer the Mitchells have surprising results. 8.00 Watchdog Anne Robinson and the team take on the businesses letting viewers down, with investigations and topical reports. Watch the fellow who got the short straw from the bad company quiver under their interview technique. 9.00 New Tricks Drama series featuring an eccentric group of ex-police officers brought out of retirement to investigate unsolved crimes. The team investigate the art of illusion when they re-open a case involving a magic trick that ended in murder. However, powerful mind games and hypnosis prove a dangerous mix for Brian Lane sending him down a destructive path. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time The political debate comes from Llandudno, with a panel including former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith, broadcaster John Sergeant, and Lembit Opik for the Liberal Democrats. 11.35 This Week A political review. 12.20am Holiday Weatherview 12.25 Sign Zone: Panorama 12.55 Life 1.55 Countryfile 2.50 MasterChef The Professionals 3.35 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Polocrosse 9.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 10.00 Carling Cup Football 11.30 Total Rugby 12.00pm DTM Motor Racing 1.00 Polocrosse 1.30 Total Rugby 2.00 F3 Euroseries 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 Carling Cup Football 5.00 Trans World Sport 6.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 6.30 The Rugby Club 7.30 Golf Night 10.00 LIVE: Poker: Bounty Hunter 10k 12.00am NFL 1.00 The Rugby Club 2.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 2.30 Golf Night
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 F3 Euroseries 8.00 The Premiership Years 10.00 Summer Speed Motor Sport 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Tenpin Bowling 2.00 Adrenaline Adventures 2.30 Polocrosse 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Tenpin Bowling 5.00 DTM Motor Racing 6.00 Adrenaline Adventures 6.30 FIA GT 2009 7.30 LIVE: Premier League Snooker 11.00 WWE Late Night Raw 1.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 2.00 Premier League Snooker Victoria Nangle
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1.00pm Project Runway 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Brainiac: Science Abuse 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 Bones 10.00 Lie To Me 11.00 Modern Family 11.30 NCIS: LA (x2) 1.30 Road Wars 2.25 A Town Called Eureka
7.00pm Doctor Who 8.00 Bizarre Animal ER (x2) 9.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 The World’s Strictest Parents 12.45am Russell Howard’s Good News 1.15 Don’t Tell The Bride 2.15 Bizarre Animal ER (x2)
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Art Deco Icons 8.00 Glamour’s Golden Age 9.00 The Men Who Built The Liners 10.00 1929: The Great Crash 11.00 The Armstrong And Miller Show 11.30 The Thick Of It 12.00am Glamour’s Golden Age 1.00 FILM: Exiled (2006) 2.45 The Men Who Built The Liners 5.30 Close
3.45pm The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Judge Judy (x3) 6.45 Beat The Star 8.00 Paris Hilton’s American Best Friend Forever 9.00 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 10.00 Fearne And... Peaches Geldof 11.00 Coronation Street 11.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 12.00am Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show (x3) 1.30 Emmerdale (x2)
3.10pm Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.15 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.15 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Live The Dream... As Seen On Screen 9.00 Wycliffe 10.00 The Specsavers Crime Thriller Awards 2009 11.30 Numb3rs 12.30am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 1.30 Cracker 2.25 The Wonder Years
3.05pm Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 School Of Comedy 10.30 The Inbetweeners 11.05 Important Things With Demetri Martin 11.35 Peep Show 12.10am King Of The Hill 12.40 Scrubs (x2)
5.05pm The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Embarrassing Illnesses (x2) 10.00 Hung. See highlights. 10.40 Curb Your Enthusiasm 11.20 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 12.20am Embarrassing Illnesses (x2)
11.00am Only Yesterday (1991) 1.25pm Terry Gilliam Interview 1.35 The Spy In Black (1939) 3.15 The Human Jungle (1954) 4.50 Escape To Athena (1979) 7.10 Just Married (2003) 9.00 Judge Dredd (1994) 10.50 Vera Drake (2004) 1.15am Dying Young (1991)
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friday 30 Jamie’s American Road Trip Channel 4, 8pm The pukka dude has reached Noo Yoik in his travels around the former colonies and, as much as we’d expect him to be digging into bagels at the local deli, he’s actually trying spicy stuffed flatbreads. Who’da thunk it? Oh, and tasting the delights of an illegal Peruvian restaurant. New York cosmopolitan? Who knew.
Autumnwatch BBC2, 8.30pm It’s Halloween tomorrow night, so Chris Packham and Kate Humble do their own Blair Witch thang and seek out things that go ‘bump’ in the night in deepest darkest Gloucestershire. In this mansion that would be bats, badgers and the occasional clumsy spider. Plus, Simon King is live from a London graveyard.
Film: Shaun Of The Dead ITV2, 9pm Get your Halloween mojo started with the classic zom-rom-com starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Zombies are everywhere and Shaun’s got to get his girlfriend, best mate, mum and a few stragglers to the pub. ‘Cause it’s safe and nice in the pub, right? Some ingenious ways to stop the undead included.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Helicopter Heroes 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Cash In The Attic 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Uncle Max 3.35 Eliot Kid 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Keep Your Enemies Close 4.35 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Eliot Kid 8.15 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 8.35 Zombie Hotel 9.00 Prank Patrol 9.30 Frankenstein’s Cat 9.40 Frankenstein’s Cat 9.50 League Of Super Evil 10.00 Trapped 10.30 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 10.40 Gastronuts 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Living In The Sun 2.30 Animal Park 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman returns with all the backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action from the world of Strictly Come Dancing. Are those frilly shirts really that frilly? 7.00 Andrew Marr’s The Making Of Modern Britain In the first of a six part series, Andrew Marr revisits Britain at the dawn of the 20th century. 8.00 Mastermind Subjects are British indie music 1979-1989, the life and work of Leonhard Euler, short stories of Graham Greene, and transatlantic ocean liners 1907- present. Pick a winner. 8.30 Autumnwatch See highlights. 9.30 Autumnwatch Unsprung Hosted by Martin Hughes-Games, Autumnwatch Unsprung promises more lively discussion and debate. 10.00 Gardeners’ World Follow the progress of Carol Klein’s gardening class as the show revisits the three pupils she took under her wing in 2009. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review Round table arts and culture discussion programme, with Martha Kearney. 11.35 Later... With Jools Holland Extended repeat of Tueday’s show. 12.40am Medium (x2) 2.05 FILM: Spectre (2006)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 60 Minute Makeover 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Britain’s Best Dish: The Final
6.05am The Treacle People 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 The McCain Track And Field Show 9.30 Friends 10.00 Friends 10.30 FILM: The Land Before Time (1988) 11.50 Celebrity Life Skills 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Without A Trace 1.20 FILM: The Thief Of Bagdad (1940) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 – 7.30am Children’s television 7.30 Roary The Racing Car 7.45 Make Way For Noddy 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Diet Doctors: Inside & Out 12.40pm Five News 12.50 How To Be A Property Developer 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 I Own Britain’s Best Home: Flying Visits 3.00 FILM: Lily Dale (1996) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Nathan blackmails Leyla to take a fall. Vic. She’s fallen. 7.30 Coronation Street Jake gets his kit off in the Rovers to ask Michelle on a date. Does that usually work, guys? Answers on a postcard. 8.00 The Car Scrap Trap: Tonight Morland Sanders examines the pros and cons of the government’s car scrappage scheme, and reveals how motorists can often get a better deal if they shop around. He also speaks to critics of the scheme. 8.30 Coronation Street Tony confesses all to Roy. Whoops-a-daisy. 9.00 Benidorm Comedy drama set in the titular holiday resort. Gavin discovers that Troy is apparently cheating on him. The Oracle’s tall tales get him in trouble with the police. Martin’s mother Diana comes to help him, but only succeeds in making him feel much, much worse. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985) Starring Mel Gibson, Tina Turner, Angry Anderson. Third in the series of action adventures set in a lawless, postapocalyptic wilderness. Anyone else remember Angry Anderson singing at Scott and Charlene’s 80s wedding? 12.30am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.25 FILM: Wait Until Dark (1967) 3.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Archie is sure someone is out to get him when he finds a dead rat in the fridge. Someone was definitely out to get the rat. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Unreported World The foreign affairs documentary series examines the problem of illegal immigration. Reporter Jenny Kleeman and director Jacob White gain rare access to Pagani detention centre on the isle of Lesbos. Released Afghan migrants have 30 days to leave Greece, but they cannot do it legally without passports. 8.00 Jamie’s American Road Trip See highlights. 9.00 Rude Tube Alex Zane presents a countdown of the 50 funniest, rudest and most bizarre video clips to take the internet by storm in 2008. 10.00 Bill Bailey: Tinselworm A performance by the acclaimed comedian filmed at Wembley Arena at the end of his sold-out UK tour. 11.10 True Blood Fantasy series set where humans and vampires co-exist. Repeat of Wednesday’s show. 12.20am 4 Music: Alphabeat: 4Music Sessions 12.50 4Play: Royksopp 1.00 Friends (x2) 1.50 FILM: Offside (2006) 3.25 Freesports On 4 Freeze: Sponsored By LG 4.20 FIVB Beach Volleyball World Tour 5.15 Countdown
6.00 Home And Away Hugo and Martha meet Brendan’s girlfriend. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.30 The What In The World? Quiz Marcus Brigstocke presents the comedy panel show with Lee Hurst and Dominic Holland. Two teams go head-to-head over four rounds of scientific questions and challenges. 8.00 Brighton Beach Patrol Documentary series following the work of the police, lifeguards and RNLI volunteers who patrol Brighton’s world-famous beach. 9.00 NCIS Drama series. Tony and Jeanne are held hostage in a morgue. The team is worried about polygraph tests ordered by Homeland Security, and Shepard has a mysterious visitor. 10.00 FlashForward Sci-fi drama about a mysterious event that causes the population of the entire world to black out. Mark is questioned about his flashforward during a Senate Intelligence Committee hearing. Repeat of Tuesday’s episode. 11.00 Law And Order: SVU Drama. A suspect is arrested on the charge of the rape and murder of an undercover federal agent. As the case goes to trial, Cabot faces death threats against herself and her family. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.05 Great Ocean Adventures: The Humpback Whale 4.45 Wildlife SOS 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf: Barclays Singapore Open 9.00 LIVE Golf: Volvo World Matchplay Championship 12.00pm ATP Tour Uncovered 12.30 Carling Cup Football 1.30 Barclays Premier League World 2.00 LIVE Golf: Volvo World Matchplay Championship 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 Barclays Premier League World 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.30 LIVE: Football League: Championship 10.00 LIVE: Friday Fight Night 12.00am Football League: Championship 1.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 2.00 Friday Fight Night 4.00 Football League: Championship 5.30 Barclays Premier League Preview
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 8.00 EastEnders Shirley discovers the identity of George’s father, much to Heather’s horror. Tell! Tell! Tell! 8.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker hosts the sports quiz. 9.00 Have I Got News For You The popular news quiz with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Miranda Hart and guest panellists including Mark Steel. 9.30 The Armstrong And Miller Show Sketch show. Dennis LincolnPark destroys more priceless artefacts, and a Royal Correspondent gives his view on the Royal family. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Jonathan Ross chats with Oscar-winning Christopher Walken, funny-man Dara O Briain, Mamma Mia! star Dominic Cooper, Green Day and a very special house band, 70s soul legends the Stylistics. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw The EuroMillions results, presented by Carole Machin. 11.40 FILM: The Dark (2005) Starring Maria Bello, Sean Bean. Chilling Manx-based horror. 1.10am Weatherview 1.15 Sign Zone: Emma 2.15 MasterChef The Professionals 3.00 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Polocrosse 9.30 Carling Cup Football 10.30 Sky Sports Victory Shield Football 12.30pm Polocrosse 1.00 The Rugby Club 2.00 Sky Sports Victory Shield Football 4.00 Carling Cup Football 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 Air New Zealand Cup Rugby 7.30 LIVE: Rugby Union 10.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 10.30 Football League Weekend 11.30 LIVE: Rugby Union 1.00am Air New Zealand Cup Rugby 3.00 LIVE European Tour Golf: Barclays Singapore Open
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Adrenaline Adventures 7.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 7.30 LIVE Air New Zealand Cup Rugby 9.30 The Rugby Club 10.30 UIM F1 Powerboating 11.00 Premier League Snooker 2.30pm Air New Zealand Cup Rugby 4.30 WWE Raw 6.30 Tight Lines 7.30 Golf Night 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am Gillette World Sport 12.30 Golf Night 3.00 Polocrosse 3.30 Rugby Union 5.00 Race World
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1.00pm Project Runway 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Brainiac: Best Of Science Abuse 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Gladiators: The Legends’ Last Stand 9.00 FILM: Beverly Hills Cop II (1987) 11.00 UK Border Force 12.00am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Merlin 8.45 Merlin: Secrets And Magic 9.00 Doctor Who Greatest Moments: The Enemies 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.15 Russell Howard’s Good News 1.45 Don’t Get Screwed
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 BBC Proms 2009: A Celebration Of Classic MGM Film Musicals 9.35 Ronnie Scott And All That Jazz: Omnibus 10.35 Ghosts In The Machine 11.35 Spiral II 12.30am Only Connect 1.00 1959: The Year That Changed Jazz 2.00 West End Jungle 2.50 1959: A Panorama Guide
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Judge Judy 5.45 Black Eyed Peas: The Hot Desk 6.00 The X Factor (x2) 9.00 FILM: Shaun Of The Dead (2004). See highlights. 11.05 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 12.05am Coronation Street (x2) 1.05 Emmerdale 1.35 Ladette To Lady
1.10pm Heartbeat 2.10 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.15 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.10 Dickinson’s Real Deal 5.15 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.55 Wycliffe 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Rebecca 11.15 FILM: The Constant Gardener (2005) 1.40am Dandelion Dead 3.30 Film File
1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.00 Wife Swap 11.10 FILM: Final Destination 2 (2002) 12.55am Scrubs (x2) 1.55 How I Met Your Mother
2.30pm The Coach Trip 3.00 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 FILM: The Client (1994) 11.20 Sex In The Noughties: The Sex Blog Girls 12.25am FILM: The Client (1994)
11.00am Beware, My Lovely (1952) 12.30pm Lost (1955) 2.15 All About Eve (1950) 4.55 Fun In Acapulco (1963) 6.50 Secondhand Lions (2003) 9.00 The Transporter (2002) 10.45 Hero (2002) 12.40am Talk To Her (2002)
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saturday 31 The Thick Of It BBC2, 10.10pm The satirical political comedy, described by some politicians as ‘close to the bone’, continues with Nicola Murray MP’s future questioned after only a week as Secretary of State. To make matters worse, the immigration records of 170,672 have been accidentally wiped. Yikes! But who will tell Malcolm?
Film: Halloween BBC2, 11.20pm Could it be true? Are we actually getting the scariest Halloween movie on actual Halloween night? Praise the gods of telly scheduling! It’s the original screamfest as Jamie Lee Curtis is the vigilant babysitter, determined to protect her ward from the dangerous lunatic returning to his home town. Class.
Film: The Watcher Film4, 11pm A chilling thriller pitting serial killer against FBI agent, and FBI agent not doing too well. Keanu Reeves is the meticulous killer, selecting a lady, stalking and killing her. James Spader is the FBI guy driven to a break down with his inability to stop him. Bit of a stalemate. Here’s hoping the good guy prevails.
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6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 Football Focus 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 Formula 1: The Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 2.10 Rugby League: Four Nations 4.30 Final Score 5.15 BBC News 5.25 South East Today 5.30 Hole In The Wall
6.00 – 6.50am Children’s television 6.50 Boo! 7.05 Dennis & Gnasher 7.15 Dennis & Gnasher 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 What’s New Scooby Doo? 8.00 Gimme A Break 8.30 TMi 10.00 My Almost Famous Family 10.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.25 Diddy Dick And Dom 11.30 Animals At Work 12.00pm The Cut 12.25 The Season 12.55 The 5.19 Show 1.15 Chartjackers 1.20 The Well 1.30 Kyle XY 2.15 FILM: Oklahoma! (1955) 4.30 Flog It! 5.00 Natural World 6.00 Emma Period drama. What was intended as a day of fun turns into a day of agony for everyone on the Box Hill excursion. Things come to a head when, egged on by Frank, Emma behaves very badly, insulting Miss Bates. She is berated by Knightley, and realises that her behaviour was shameful. Then curls into a ball and cries. Not really, but Bridget Jones might have done that. 7.00 Autumnwatch UK wildlife series. Repeat of Friday’s show. 8.00 Porridge Classic comedy series set in a prison. Godber is studying for his O-level, but Fletcher doesn’t understand why he won’t just cheat. 8.30 Blitz: The Bombing Of Coventry Documentary telling the story of the most devastating aerial attack in Britain’s history and its aftermath. 9.30 Have I Got A Bit More News For You The extended version of the popular news quiz. 10.10 The Thick Of It See highlights. 10.40 Wonderland: The Ghostman Of Skye The Isle of Skye is a place marked out not just by its rugged Scottish beauty, but also by reports of ghost experiences. Ghost stories galore in all shapes and sizes. 11.20 FILM: Halloween (1978) See highlights. 12.50am FILM: Halloween II (1981) Stalk-and-slash sequel 2.20 Inside F1
6.00am GMTV 9.25 – 10.25 Children’s television 10.25 Finger Tips 10.45 Tricky Quickies 10.50 FILM: The Magic Sword: Quest For Camelot (1998) 12.30pm Planet’s Funniest Animals 1.00 ITV News And Weather 1.05 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 1.35 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 2.05 FILM: Richie Rich (1994) 3.50 Meridian News And Weather 4.05 FILM: Star Wars: Episode II – Attack Of The Clones (2002) 5.15 ITV News And Weather 5.30 FILM: Star Wars: Episode II – Attack Of The Clones (2002) 7.00 New You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill showcases more hilarious footage filmed by viewers on their camcorders and mobile phones. 7.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Harry Hill delivers another trademark take on the top TV shows of the week. 8.00 The X Factor The battle for the X Factor crown continues as the nine remaining acts step up to Britain’s biggest stage to win viewers’ votes. Tomorrow night, one act will leave the competition. In a huff. 9.45 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Dannii Minogue Piers Morgan meets X Factor star Dannii Minogue who gives her most revealing interview yet. She talks openly about helping her sister battle cancer, her love life and what it is really like being a judge on Britain’s most talked about show. 10.45 ITV News; Weather 11.00 FILM: Ghost Ship (2002) Starring Julianna Margulies, Ron Eldard, Gabriel Byrne. Supernatural thriller. A ship missing for 40 years suddenly appears in the Bering Sea and a salvage crew set out to bring her back to shore. But once the crew are on board it soon becomes clear that the liner is not abandoned after all. Woo-oooooooooo!!! 12.40am FILM: The Horror Of Frankenstein (1970) 2.20 Crossing Jordan 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 FIA GT Championship 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Friends 9.25 Rimmel London Presents The World’s Greatest Pop Star: Take That 10.25 4Music Favourites: Snow Patrol 10.55 Hollyoaks Music Show 11.30 P. Diddy’s Starmaker 12.30pm Scrubs 12.55 Red Bull Rivals 1.45 Channel 4 Racing 3.45 Come Dine With Me 4.15 Come Dine With Me 4.45 Come Dine With Me 5.15 Come Dine With Me 5.45 Come Dine With Me 6.15 Channel 4 News 6.45 Kevin McCloud’s Grand Tour Of Europe Kevin finishes his tour by taking in the classical architecture of Greece, following in the footsteps of artists and architects James Stuart and Nicholas Revett. Good thing they all are a size 9. 7.40 FILM: The Land Girls (1998) Starring Catherine McCormack, Rachel Weisz, Anna Friel, Tom Georgeson and Steven Mackintosh. Wartime drama about three very different young women who go to work on a Dorset farm for the Women’s Land Army, where they each have a dalliance with the farmer’s sullen son. See, moody boys get all the ladies. 9.45 Beyonce: For The Record Steve Jones has a chat with Beyonce Knowles in Australia. 10.50 The Simpsons In three terrifying tales, Ned Flanders can see into the future, Mr Burns’s body is ‘explored’, and Lisa becomes the new Sherlock Holmes. So much for ‘cutting edge’ C4’s Halloween scares. 11.20 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the comedy panel show. 11.50 Live From Abbey Road Series performances from some of the best musical talent around. 12.55am FILM: The Host (2006) 3.00 Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip 3.45 Invasion 4.25 St Elsewhere 5.15 Countdown
6.00 – 7.50am Children’s television 7.50 Noddy In Toyland 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.20 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 8.40 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 8.55 Olivia 9.10 Little Princess 9.25 Bert And Ernie’s Great Adventures 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 NFLUK 11.00 The Gadget Show 12.00pm Big, Bigger, Biggest 1.00 FILM: The Ghost Of Greville Lodge (2000) 2.45 FILM: The Bridge At Remagen (1969) 4.45 Five News 4.55 FILM: Bear Island (1979) 7.05 NCIS Drama series. It is a tense moment for the team when Ducky and Gerald are held captive. And not in a good ‘that show was phenomenal’ way. 8.00 CSI: NY Crime drama series. Hawkes is in big trouble when he is identified as the perpetrator of a barroom murder. Faced with seemingly irrefutable evidence and an eyewitness, can Mac and his team prove their colleague’s innocence? It goes against the CSI code not to save thier pals, unless it’s a twoparter – is this a two-parter?! 8.50 CSI: NY Crime drama. When Mac and Stella investigate the shooting of a deaf woman, the truth about Lindsay’s past comes to light. 9.45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. Ray is devastated when one of his former students is found murdered. Desperate to find her killer, he begins an investigation into the murky world of Mexican wrestling. 10.45 Law And Order: SVU Drama series. Fin’s son comes under suspicion in connection with a double homicide. Ice-T ain’t so happy, bro. 11.40 The Real CSI Documentary series. 12.10am SuperCasino 4.10 The Great Artists (x2) 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 7.00 Football League Weekend 8.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm LIVE Ford Football Special 3.00 Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.30 LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice (x5) 5.45 Sky Sports Classics
6.05 Merlin Fantasy drama. Newlycrowned Queen Catrina settles in as Camelot’s first lady. As her true troll nature surfaces, her influence over Uther increases, and the repercussions are felt throughout the kingdom. 6.50 Strictly Come Dancing The competition hots up as the ten remaining couples take to the floor performing either a ballroom or Latin dance. Plus there is music from the Bee Gees. 8.45 The National Lottery Draws Hold your breath for twenty seconds as the numbers that could pay your gas bill are drawn. 8.55 Casualty Medical drama series. Zoe faces a race against time to save her career, Polly begins to realise events are spiralling out of her control, and there is a new face in the ED. 9.45 The Impression Show With Culshaw And Stephenson The Impression Show, pretending to be other people. Not police officers though, ‘cos that’s a crime. 10.15 BBC News 10.30 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents all the highlights from the Barclays Premier League. 11.55 The Football League Show What it says on the tin. 1.10am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 2.10 Weatherview 2.15 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf: Barclays Singapore Open 8.30 LIVE Golf: Volvo World Matchplay Championship 5.00pm LIVE International Rugby League (x2) 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 Premiership Rugby Union 12.00am International Rugby League 2.00 Spanish Football
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 6.55 Friday Fight Night 8.55 Live International Cricket 5.30pm NFL - Total Access 6.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 7.00 LIVE: Spanish Football (x2) 11.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 12.00am WWE Late Night Smackdown 2.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 3.00 International Cricket 5.00 Gillette World Sport 5.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly
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4.00pm New Oops TV 5.00 Ricky Gervais On Alex Zane’s Guest List 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 Futurama (x2) 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 UK Border Force 10.00 Ross Kemp Behind The Story 10.30 Ross Kemp Remembers Afghanistan 11.30 Night Cops 12.30am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Don’t Get Screwed 8.30 The Real Hustle: High Stakes 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 9.45 FILM: Kidulthood (2006) 11.15 Family Guy 11.35 American Dad (x2) 12.20am FILM: Kidulthood (2006) 1.50 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 2.35 Don’t Get Screwed
7.00pm Art Deco Icons 7.30 The Scarlet Pimpernel 9.00 Arena: Francis Bacon’s Arena 10.35 Francis Bacon In His Own Words 11.00 FILM: Love Is The Devil: Study For A Portrait Of Francis Bacon (1998) 12.25am The Jazz Baroness: Storyville 1.50 Arena: Cool 2.50 Francis Bacon In His Own Words
3.55pm Gossip Girl 4.55 Paris Hilton’s American Best Friend Forever 5.55 FILM: About A Boy (2002) 8.00 The Hand That Rocks The Cradle 9.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.30 Akon: The Hot Desk 9.45 The Xtra Factor 10.45 Fearne And... Peaches Geldof 11.45 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 12.15am The X Factor 2.00 The Xtra Factor
11.35am FILM: Far From The Madding Crowd (1967) 2.55pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 4.00 FILM: Murder, She Wrote: The Celtic Riddle (2003) 5.55 Inspector Morse 7.55 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 A Touch Of Frost 11.00 The Specsavers Crime Thriller Awards 2009 12.35am Kavanagh QC 2.00 On The Buses (x2)
11.45am Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious 12.45pm Style Her Famous 1.15 Friends (x2) 2.20 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 7.55 FILM: X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) 10.00 Dead Set 12.45am Supernanny US (x2) 2.25 How To Look Good Naked
9.00am A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 10.00 Time Team (x4) 2.15pm FILM: The Desert Fox (1951) 4.00 3 Minute Wonder: The Witness Trees (x3) 4.15 Grand Designs (x5) 9.45 The Force 11.25 FILM: Breakfast On Pluto (2005) 1.55am The Force 3.40 Close
11.00am The Fly (1958) 12.50pm Terry Gilliam Interview 1.00 Secondhand Lions (2003) 3.10 Cheaper By The Dozen (1950) 4.50 The Way We Were (1973) 7.10 Baby’s Day Out (1994) 9.00 Under Siege (1992) 11.00 The Watcher (2000). See highlights. 12.50am Suspiria (1976) 3.05 Close
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sunday 1 The Human Zoo: Science’s Dirty Secret Channel 4, 7pm In the 19th and 20th Century human zoos were a popular phenomenon, displaying indigenous people from around the globe. One story told here is that of Ota Benga, a Batwa pygmy from the Belgian Congo, first displayed in 1904 and labelled the ‘missing link’. How awful were we?
Garrow’s Law BBC1, 9pm What the world needs now... is an 18th Century legal drama. Not enough of them about at all. And fantastically distracting eyebrows. Luckily, Garrow’s Law is on hand to remedy both of these problems, charting the development of young idealistic barrister William Barrow at the Old Bailey. Learning and growing.
Ugly Betty E4, 6pm If you think the original premise for this was that of an ordinarylooking girl working in a high fashion office, it may be time to take a step back and wonder who has the more outrageously contrived outfits here. Just saying. This week Betty meets Matt’s mother and Wilhelmina devises a get rich quick scheme.
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6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Country Tracks 11.00 The Politics Show 12.10pm Formula 1: The Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 3.15 EastEnders 4.40 Points Of View 4.55 Songs Of Praise 5.30 BBC News 5.45 South East Today
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 7.00 Uncle Max 7.10 OOglies 7.25 Diddy Dick And Dom 7.30 Prank Patrol 8.00 Da Dick And Dom Dairies 8.30 M.I. High 9.00 The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Animal Park 12.00pm FILM: Miss Sadie Thompson (1953) 1.30 EastEnders Omnibus 2.00 Track Cycling World Cup 4.45 Match Of The Day Live: Cardiff City V Nottingham Forest
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Paz 9.35 Captain Mack 9.50 Emu 10.05 Tricky Quickies 10.10 Coronation Street Omnibus 12.55pm Animals Do The Funniest Things 1.55 ITV News And Weather 2.00 FILM: Columbo: Grand Deceptions 4.00 FILM: The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 FIVB Beach Volleyball World Tour 7.30 Run To The Beat 8.25 Freesports On 4 8.55 Friends 9.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.00pm 90210 1.00 Rimmel London Presents The World’s Greatest Pop Star: Beyonce 2.05 Friends 2.40 Ugly Betty 3.35 The Simpsons 4.10 The Simpsons 4.40 Deal Or No Deal 5.30 Time Team
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Game Of The Day (x2) 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Premiership Rugby Union 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 12.00am Scottish Premier League 12.30 Spanish Football 2.00 Ford Football Special 3.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 4.00 Scottish Premier League 4.30 Spanish Football
6.00 Life David Attenborough looks at how mammals dominate the planet through having warm blood, and by the care they lavish on their young. Come on you warm-blooded mamm-alls! Woo! Woo! 7.00 Countryfile Countryfile. 8.00 Antiques Roadshow A huge turnout of visitors awaits Fiona Bruce and the team at Lincoln Cathedral. Objects under scrutiny include a gruesome set of surgeon’s tools from the 1860s and a plate hidden for years in a cupboard which provides its owner with a big surprise. 9.00 Garrow’s Law See highlights. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Fleetwood Mac – Don’t Stop Fleetwood Mac, one of the biggestselling bands of all time, are back on the road again. Their story, told in their own words, is an epic tale of love and confrontation, of success and loss. The band evolved from the 60s British blues boom to perfect a US West Coast sound. 11.20 Eric Clapton And Steve Winwood Live At Madison Square Garden Reunion concert by Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood at New York’s Madison Square Garden in 2008. 12.25am The Sky At Night 12.45 Weatherview 12.50 Sign Zone: Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers 1.20 Holby City 2.20 Last Chance To See 3.20 BBC News
7.00 James May’s Toy Stories Repeat of Tuesday’s show. 8.00 Ray Mears Northern Wilderness Ray Mears takes an epic adventure into Canada’s unforgiving, yet stunning wilderness. As Ray makes his journey, across land and by canoe, he tells the story of the British fur trade company that opened up Canada - the Hudson’s Bay Company. 9.00 Charley Boorman: Sydney To Tokyo By Any Means In Taiwan, Charley visits the country’s largest Buddhist monastery, Fo Guang Shan. After that, he tries his hand at cricket fighting, hand-picks tea leaves and dirt-bikes through the Taroko Gorge, before boarding a cruise ship in Taipei. Hang on, back a bit – aren’t crickets considerably smaller than him? Pick on someone yer own size. 10.00 Match Of The Day 2 Adrian Chiles presents highlights of the Premier League game between Birmingham and Manchester City and offers another chance to catch all of the weekend’s goals in the top flight. 10.45 Rugby League: Four Nations – Highlights Tanya Arnold presents highlights of the clash between France and New Zealand in Toulouse. 11.30 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic, award-winning pop quiz. 12.00am FILM: Halloween III: Season Of The Witch (1983) 1.35 BBC News
6.15 Meridian News; Weather 6.30 ITV News And Weather 6.45 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Repeat of yesterday’s show. 7.15 All Star Family Fortunes Today Primeval star Laila Rouass and clan battle it out against actor Sean Maguire and family, each playing for charity. Hope the family participants are getting some good Christmas pressies out of this too. 8.00 The X Factor Dermot O’Leary hosts the all-new Sunday night X Factor results show, as the nine acts find out the results of the public vote. Then one leaves in floods of tears and a series of short-lived tabloid interviews. Grab that dosh! 9.00 Doc Martin Rumours are rife about Doc Martin’s plans to leave Portwenn and take up a surgeon’s job in London. Don’t panic, don’t panic. 10.00 ITV News And Weather 10.15 FILM: Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels (1998) Starring Jason Flemyng, Dexter Fletcher, Nick Moran, Jason Statham, Vinnie Jones, Steven Mackintosh. Stylish black comedy in which four Jack-the-lads steal from a gang of robbers – and thus the shaggy dog story begins. 12.20am Guinness Premiership Rugby 1.10 UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.40 Kojak 2.35 The Car Scrap Trap: Tonight 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.30 Channel 4 News 7.00 The Human Zoo: Science’s Dirty Secret See highlights. 8.00 Celebrity Come Dine With Me Celebrity edition of the reality series in which people compete to be the best dinner-party host. TV presenter Yvette Fielding, ex-Atomic Kitten member Natasha Hamilton, Catchphrase legend Roy Walker and Coronation Street actor Bruce Jones go to war in a culinary cook-off. It comes to something when in a group of celebs Yvette Fielding is the one with the most telly work. 9.00 FILM: Dreamgirls (2006) Starring Jamie Foxx, Beyonce Knowles, Eddie Murphy, Danny Glover, Jennifer Hudson and Anika Noni Rose. Rags-to-riches musical set in 1960s Chicago as a trio of soul singers are catapulted to fame when they become the backing vocalists for an established star. However, as their career develops, their overbearing manager and friction between the girls threatens to derail their dreams. 11.35 Beyonce: For The Record Steve Jones presents an exclusive interview with Beyonce Knowles as he catches up with the singing superstar in Sydney during the Australian leg of her world tour. 12.40am My Name Is Earl 1.10 FILM: Silent Light (2007) 3.30 The Birthday 3.45 Invasion 4.30 St Elsewhere 5.15 Countdown
6.00am – 7.35 Children’s television 7.35 The Milkshake! Show 8.00 Noddy In Toyland 8.15 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 8.45 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 Little Princess 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Snobs 10.30 Wizards Of Waverly Place 11.00 Hannah Montana 11.35 The Tribe 12.05pm Britain’s Best Brain 1.05 Megastructures 2.10 FILM: Sergeant Rutledge (1960) 4.10 FILM: Oliver! (1968) 6.55 Five News 7.00 FILM: Groundhog Day (1993) Starring Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell. Acclaimed comedy in which a cynical TV weatherman finds himself reliving the same day over and over again. The forecaster is sent to a small town to film a report about its annual Groundhog Day festivities, only to become trapped in a seemingly unbreakable loop. 9.00 FILM: Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) Starring Mike Myers, Heather Graham, Michael York, Robert Wagner, Seth Green, Verne Troyer. Sequel to the successful spoof of 1960s spy films. Dr Evil travels back in time to steal Austin Powers’s libido and incapacitate the buck-toothed Casanova. Believing himself helpless without it, Austin teams up with CIA agent Felicity Shagwell to thwart Dr Evil’s plans. Oh bee-have! 10.55 FlashForward Sci-fi drama. Repeat of Monday’s episode. 11.55 The Mafia Documentary series about the Mafia. The murder of a mob boss in 1979 triggered an investigation by the FBI and DEA that revealed the Sicilian mafia were importing billions of dollars worth of heroin into the US. 12.55am NFL Live 4.40 NFL Classics 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
Sky Sports 2 6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf: Barclays Singapore Open 8.30 LIVE Golf: Volvo World Matchplay Championship 5.00pm Golf: HSBC Champions Preview 5.30 LIVE NFL 9.00 LIVE: NFL 12.30am Premiership Rugby Union 1.30 Wild Spirits 2.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 Wild Spirits 7.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.00 Spanish Football 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Racing 11.30 Wild Spirits 12.00pm Gillette World Sport 12.30 LIVE Scottish Premier League 3.00 LIVE International Rugby League (x2) 7.00 Scottish Premier League 7.30 Premiership Rugby Union 8.30 Golf Night 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am WWE Vintage Collection 1.00 Golf: HSBC Champions Preview 1.30 Golf Night 4.00 Golf: HSBC Champions Preview 4.30 Close
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1.00pm New Oops TV 2.00 Project Runway 3.00 Bones 4.00 UK Border Force 5.00 The Simpsons 5.30 Gladiators: The Legends Return 7.00 The Simpsons 7.30 Modern Family 8.00 The Simpsons (x2) 9.00 House 10.00 Fringe 11.00 Bones 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Martina Cole: Girls In Gangs London
7.00pm Formula 1: The Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 8.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 9.00 Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 10.00 Family Guy 10.30 American Dad (x2) 11.05 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.35 The World’s Strictest Parents 12.35am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2)
7.00pm Wodehouse Playhouse 7.30 FILM: Flying Down To Rio (1933) 9.00 High Flyers: How Britain Took To The Air 10.00 Spiral II 10.55 It’s Only A Theory 11.25 FILM: The Cotton Club (1984) 1.25am High Flyers: How Britain Took To The Air 2.25 It’s Only A Theory 2.55 Inside Antiques (x2)
4.00pm Fearne And... Peaches Geldof 5.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 5.30 Akon: The Hot Desk 5.40 New You’ve Been Framed! 6.10 FILM: Babe: Pig In The City (1998) 8.00 Coleen’s Real Women 9.00 The Xtra Factor 10.00 Trinity 11.00 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 12.00am Fearne And... Peaches Geldof
12.20pm FILM: Murder, She Wrote: The Celtic Riddle (2003) 2.00 Inspector Morse 4.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 6.15 The Forsyte Saga 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 FILM: Murder By Numbers (2001) 11.25 Cracker 12.35am Life 1.25 PD James: Devices And Desires (x2) 3.10 On The Buses
12.05pm Dark Angel (x2) 2.05 Reaper 3.00 One Tree Hill 4.00 Beauty And The Geek 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Ugly Betty. See highlights. 7.00 Privileged 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) 11.10 Tim Minchin: Live 1.20am Supernanny US 2.10 How To Look Good Naked USA
1.55pm How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 4.40 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.30 Jamie At Home 8.00 River Cottage: Gone Fishing 9.00 Heston’s Tudor Feast 10.00 Did Heston Change Little Chef? 11.10 Father Ted 11.40 Hung 12.25am Curb Your Enthusiasm 1.00 Deal Or No Deal 1.45 River Cottage: Gone Fishing
11.00am That Riviera Touch (1966) 1.00pm The Beverly Hillbillies (1993) 2.50 Crash Dive (1943) 4.55 Girls! Girls! Girls! (1962) 6.50 Flight Of The Phoenix (2004) 9.00 Underworld (2003) 11.15 Dying Young (1991) 1.25am Camp (2003) 3.35 Close
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monday 2 The Great Escape: The Reckoning Channel 4, 9pm A ‘what really happened’... Everyone’s seen the film that comes on every Christmas but this is the true story of the ‘76 Allied Airmen who escaped from POW camp Stalag Luft III in 1944. All but three were recaptured. Fifty were shot dead. But what happened next?
FlashForward Five, 9pm Ah, life is lovely for blissed-up couple Olivia and Mark. He’s got his head in the sand about his drinking vision but just won’t let her vision of being with another man lie. Pick a side of the fence and sit there, matey. So Olivia confronts him about his flashforward. Good on her! Oh, and Dylan goes missing. Boo.
The Mighty Boosh BBC3, 10.30pm Dive into the surreal cult sitcom once more as Vince and Howard are left in charge of Nabootique when Naboo and Bollo go on the Head Shaman’s stag do. All good you may think, especially when their sales contest to see who can sell the most of the latest fads is going so well. But a murky figure interrupts the joy...
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Build Or Not To Build 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Uncle Max 3.35 Eliot Kid 3.50 OOglies 4.05 School Of Silence 4.35 M.I. High 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Charlie And Lola 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Pingu 11.10 The Flintstones 11.35 The Flintstones 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Open House 2.15 Crisis Claims And Cons 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Diet Doctors: Inside & Out 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Floyd Around The Med 1.15 Cooking The Books 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Property List: Top Spots 3.05 FILM: Talking To Heaven (2002) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x2) 8.00 Scottish Premier League 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 8.55 LIVE International Cricket 5.30pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 SPL Round-Up 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE: Football League: Championship 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 SPL Round-Up 12.00am Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.00 Football League: Championship 2.30 Time Of Our Lives 3.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 Watersports World
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out 8.00 EastEnders Lucy comes into money, but with devastating consequences. 8.30 Panorama In the aftermath of Baby P, Panorama has gained exclusive access to Coventry’s social workers. The film follows the child protection teams tasked with identifying at-risk children. 9.00 Life Nature documentary. Fish dominate the planet’s waters through their variety of shape and behaviour. The weedy sea dragon looks like a creature from a fairytale, and the male protects their eggs by carrying them on his tail. The sarcastic fringehead, meanwhile, appears to turn its head inside out when it fights. Isn’t nature just the best? Yay! 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show The award-winning host continues his anarchic talk show with Dustin Hoffman, Rob Brydon and Harry Connick Jr as guests. 11.20 The Apprentice USA Reality show like ours, but in America. 12.05am The Apprentice USA 12.50 Weatherview 12.55 Sign Zone: An Island Parish 1.25 Defying Gravity 2.05 Watchdog 3.05 MasterChef The Professionals 3.50 BBC News
6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Judge Craig Revel Horwood analyses the weekend’s events, while Claudia chats with the latest couple to be eliminated. 7.00 Coal House At War The weekend arrives, and with it, a welcome break from work. While the men go to football training, the women go to the hair salon. 7.30 An Island Parish Series charting a year in the life of the remote Isles of Scilly, off the western coast of Cornwall. 8.00 University Challenge The students of Girton College, Cambridge, fight it out against the medics of St George’s, University of London, for a place in the quarter finals. 8.30 Churchill – Into The Storm Better have a raincoat ready then. 10.00 Have I Got News For You The popular news quiz with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Miranda Hart and guest panellists including Mark Steel. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines with Jeremy Paxman. 11.20 Charley Boorman: Sydney To Tokyo By Any Means Repeat. 12.20am Defying Gravity 1.05 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Leyla feels the pressure as Nathan’s grip on her tightens. That’ll bruise. 7.30 Coronation Street Is Roy now in danger following Tony’s confession? 8.00 I’m Paid More Than The PM: Tonight As politicians debate how severely to cut public services, Jonathan Maitland investigates some of the eye watering salaries in the public sector – where some bosses of public services or publicly owned companies earn up to five times more than the Prime Minister. 8.30 Coronation Street Michelle’s new man asks her to leave Corrie with him. You just got back! 9.00 Murderland Final part of the crime thriller. With the help of retired detective Douglas Hain, grown-up Carol finally gets to learn the truth about her mother. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Escape From New York (1981) Starring Kurt Russell, Lee Van Cleef, Ernest Borgnine, Donald Pleasence, Isaac Hayes. Cult futuristic action thriller, set in a Manhattan that has become a maximum-security prison. 12.25am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.20 Loose Women 2.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Advertising Uncut 10.00 Tricky Business Two 10.30 Vocation, Vocation, Vocation 11.00 Take Away My Takeaway 11.30 Self Portrait UK 14-19 11.35 Parents & Teens: Welcome To My World 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: Fame Lab 12.35 FILM: The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill But Came Down A Mountain (1995) 2.20 Last Voices Of World War I 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Now that he’s the boss of a nightclub, Spencer visits the SU Bar to study his target market. Drunk young people of loose morals? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 The Political Slot Rachel Reeves, prospective Labour candidate for Leeds West, talks to local business people and apprentices who are trying to fight their way out of the recession. 8.00 Is It Better To Be Mixed Race? Documentary. Aarathi Prasad, a geneticist and mother of a mixedrace child, sets out to challenge the science of racial purity and examines provocative claims that there are in fact biological advantages to being mixed race. 9.00 The Great Escape: The Reckoning See highlights. 10.00 Ugly Betty Drama series about an ordinary-looking secretary working for a fashion magazine. Betty meets Matt’s mother. Daniel deals with Molly and Wilhelmina devises a get-richquick scheme. The Suarez family try to set up Hilda and Archie on a date. 10.55 Did Heston Change Little Chef? Repeat. 12.00am Foo Fighters – Live In London 1.00 No Angels 2.05 FILM: Red Lights (2004) 4.00 Ancient Egypt (x5) 5.15 We Are From... (x3)
6.00 Home And Away Are Aden and Geoff slowly becoming friends? Xavier and Ruby reach a crossroads. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn examines the history and technology behind one of the largest construction projects of the 20th century – the Thames Barrier. 8.00 The Gadget Show Jason and Suzi compete to produce the most ingenious gadget for pets. Elsewhere, Ortis tests the best pocket tools and Jon compiles the top online photo-printing services. 9.00 FlashForward See highlights. 10.00 America’s Toughest Prisons Documentary series that unlocks the doors of the United States’ most notorious prisons. This instalment examines a radical new approach to dealing with juvenile crime in Pueblo, Colorado. No penguins and rulers involved. The Blues Brothers lied. 11.00 Ross Noble’s Australian Trip On the final leg of Ross’s journey, he rides to Karratha, a town where the demand for houses is so high that many people have to live in shipping containers. 12.00am Disorderly Conduct 12.55 SuperCasino 3.00 NASCAR 3.55 Race And Rally UK 4.45 Motorsport Mundial 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Premiership Rugby Union 9.00 Ford Football Special 10.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 11.00 Spanish Football 12.30pm Scottish Premier League 1.00 Ford Football Special 2.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 3.00 Spanish Football 4.30 Scottish Premier League 5.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.30 Showjumping 6.30 Wild Spirits 7.00 Golf: Mallorca Skins Game 2009 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 Poker: Bounty Stars Of Poker 12.00am International Cricket 2.00 Poker: Bounty Stars Of Poker 4.00 Golf: Mallorca Skins Game 2009 5.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 8.00am Golf: HSBC Champions Preview 8.30 Golf Night 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm NFL Gameday 1.30 NASCAR 3.30 NFL Gameday 5.00 WWE Raw 7.00 NFL Gameday 8.30 Powder Adventures 9.00 Showjumping 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close
Victoria Nangle
extraterrestrial Sky1
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ITV2
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E4
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1.00pm Project Runway 2.00 Bones 3.00 Cold Case 4.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 To Be Announced 10.00 UK Border Force 11.00 Stargate Universe 12.00am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Merlin 7.45 Merlin: Secrets And Magic 8.00 The Real Hustle 8.30 Don’t Get Screwed 9.00 Britain’s Really Disgusting Food: Meat 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 The Mighty Boosh. See highlights. 11.00 Family Guy (x3) 11.45 Don’t Get Screwed 12.15am Britain’s Really Disgusting Food: Meat
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Sky At Night 8.00 The Twenties In Colour: The Wonderful World Of Albert Kahn 9.00 Glamour’s Golden Age 10.00 Reputations 10.45 JLB: The Man Who Saw The Future 12.00am Baroque! – From St Peter’s To St Paul’s 1.00 Baroque! – From St Peter’s To St Paul’s
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 10.00 Benidorm 11.00 FILM: Ocean’s Eleven (2001) 1.20am Coronation Street
2.05pm On The Buses (x2) 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 The Darling Buds Of May 7.55 Jeeves And Wooster 9.00 Live The Dream... As Seen On Screen 10.00 Taggart 11.00 The Bill: Show Of Force 12.05am Kavanagh QC
12.10pm Everwood 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Being Erica 11.00 Skins 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 How I Met Your Mother
3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 The Home Show 6.05 Deal Or No Deal: Trick Or Treat 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 Without A Trace 11.00 The Closer 12.00am Saving Grace 1.00 Without A Trace
11.00am The Human Jungle (1954) 12.40pm A Bell For Adano (1945) 2.45 Carrington VC (1954) 4.50 Storm Over The Nile (1955) 7.00 The First Wives Club (1996) 9.00 Judge Dredd (1994) 10.50 Underworld: Evolution (2006) 12.50am Six Degrees Of Separation (1993) 3.10 Close
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