001_LS449 _cover
11/6/09
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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk
PROKOFIEV
★ arts ★ news ★ food ★ listings ★ tv guide ★
Hit the decks with the grandson page 11
10 – 16 November 2009
FREE WEEKLY
JIM JEFFERIES Hot from Edinburgh to Komedia MEAL DEALS More hot offers for hot dinners
KICK OFF Seagulls Captain Adam Virgo starts his new sports column BACK TO BASS Dub fusion demons Dreadzone are back
Stunning bespoke jewellery at Ring jewellers page 13
Have you seen our top ten homes for sale and for rent? Find them now at
latesthomes.co.uk/brighton
>
Circle of love
TOP
10
Oriental buffet - eat as much as you like With over 50 items for lunch and 70 items for dinner including seafood, aromatic crispy duck, Japanese sushi, teppanyaki and fruit ice cream. Lunch from: £5.99 Dinner from: £8.99 Buy one get one free soft drinks & Sun Lik Beer (until 30 Nov, evenings only)
18-19 York Place Brighton BN1 4GU Tel: 01273 698 606
000_LS449_Dymanic Yoga
11/5/09
9:54 AM
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NOW WITH VIRTUAL STUDIO TOUR
www.dynamicyoga.tv The studio incorporates a fantastic new ‘state of the art’ fresh oxygenated heating ventilation system.
Class duration: 90 minutes
Stuart offers a completely unique style of yoga. “My yoga is not just mechanical yoga, it is based on aligning your mind and spine with this magnificent universe.”
7 Video testimonals on the website.
003_LS449_contents
11/6/09
1:14 PM
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welcome
L7 CONTENTS 04 NEWS & COMMENT 4 Social Diary The breaking of the Time Warp world record 5 City Speak Columnist Idol; Will gets a manicure... for love? 5 Competitions Win Chuck Berry, Gong and Cinecity tickets 6 News Have we time travelled back to the Winter of Discontent? Plus Councillor Mary Mears 6 Latest Inbox Readers’ letters 7 Bookings La Roux, Green Man Festival, Robert Cray, Calendar Girls 7 Latest Brighton Download Chart Who’s at number one this week? 8 Snap Shots Cabaret artist Sharon Elizabeth 9 Celebcity Heather Mills, Zombie Walk, Zoe and Norm’s Halloween 10 Bare Cheek Spotted!... with a six-year-old boy 10 Astral Angi The oracle goes online
04
11 L7 INTERVIEW Gabriel Prokofiev, hip young grandson of the great Russian composer, talks about the inspiration behind his groundbreaking work, Concerto For Turntable
13 LIFESTYLE 13 Ring Romantic gift ideas from the bespoke Brighton jewellers 15 Health & Beauty Winter skin solutions tried and tested 17 Food & Drink A perfect butternut squash risotto at Table 18 Dining Deals Two pages of cut-out-and-keep discount vouchers 20 Hotlist 20 great restaurants and coffee shops
21 WHAT’S ON
07
L7 Don’t miss...
21 Stage Brighton’s newest boutique venue, Iambic Arts Theatre 22 Music & Clubs Dreadzone on writing basslines to make girls dance 24 Events The Sussex Sport Awards and Knitting Month 24 Art Crazy shoes, feathery guitars and war paintings from former soldier Cyril Mount 25 Film Tim Burton’s A Christmas Carol hits the big screen 26 Comedy Jim Jefferies hopes not to be punched in the face 26 Gay DJ duo Lady Bex and Smiffy are the Girls On Top 27 Reviews About Around, Our Man In Havana and West Side Story 28 Sport Albion Captain Adam Virgo on the World Cup squad 29 TV Your seven-day listings guide
Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Creative Director Andrew Kay
Production Director Fiona McTernan Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle
Latest 7 Editor Bella Todd Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker Sub Editors Melina Greenfield Patrick O’Donnell
If you’ve yet to make the short trip along the coast to Bexhill, do it now. Stunning seafront venue the De La Warr Pavilion have been developing one of the most innovative music programmes outside of the Southbank Centre. And on Saturday they launch an exciting new residency with a performance of Concerto For Turntable by Gabriel Prokofiev (and a free bus from Brighton to Bexhill). Read more in our L7 Interview with Gabriel, grandson of the famous Russian composer. We also have ten pairs of tickets to the event to give away. We’re delighted to have Brighton and Hove Albion Captain Adam Virgo starting a new monthly Sport column this issue. Off The Pitch will see him airing his passion for all forms of sport and bringing his insider knowledge to bear on the sporting issues of the day. Columnist Idol, our (brilliantly-named) search for a new local voice, moves into its second week following a flurry of emails in support of first entrant, 16-year-old scribbler Tasha (see a sample in Latest Inbox). Remember to tell us what you think of this week’s guest columnist. Elsewhere, there’re restaurant discounts aplenty with our monthly Dining Deals; we test the current crop of seasonal skin solutions in Health & Beauty; and you can start your Christmas shopping in earnest (or at least start saving for Valentine’s Day) with our cover feature on bespoke Brighton jewellers Ring. And don’t forget to check out our weekly Bookings section, where you’ll find details of all the big ticket announcements – this week including La Roux and the Green Man festival.
Bella Todd, Latest 7 Editor
Skellig 10–14 November Connaught Theatre, Worthing Catch Birmingham Stage Company’s magical adaptation of the cult children’s book – about a boy who meets a fallen angel with a taste for mystery and brown ale – before it hits the West End.
Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Staff Writers Nick Aldwinckle (Music) Jaime Pettit (Clubs) Editorial Assistant Sian Disson
Design Rob Burdick Anand Day Steve Sawyer Andrew Wright Photography Tim Richardson Diana Frangi
Advertising Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Executive Rachel Bryant Administration Claire Peerless
01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.
004_LS449_Social Diary
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11/6/09
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SOCIAL DIARY
Latest diary Tim Richardson snaps a world record and a fashion ball with bite
Frightful fashion
Designer Jessy Lou
The Halloween Fashion Ball incorporated a stylish Halloween themed fashion catwalk show, compered by the fabulous Trudi Styles. The inaugural charity ball, from Blue Monkey Events, took place at Madame Geisha last month. The evening showcased Brighton's best budding fashion talent and was followed by an extravagantly ghoulish late night party, all in aid of the local Rockinghorse Charity.
The Judges: Jo Fleming (Jo Fleming Design), Dean Cleary-Patterson ( D1 Models), Jules and Tracey ( jell-o)
Rocky record Hundreds of pelvic-thrusting, fun-lovin’ people gathered close to the West Pier on Saturday 31 October 2009 to help break the world record for The Time Warp dance. The aim was to get 1500 people along to break the record previously held by Melbourne and put The Rocky Horror Show in The Guinness Book Of Records. Congratulations to everyone who came along – the final count was 1635!
Enjoy Christmas at
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(choose one) Served with Pilau Rice Badami Kurma Chicken, Murgh Kurchan, Elizabethan Special Biryani, Murgh Masalla, Fish Tikka, Chicken Tikka Balti (with nan), Elizabethan Special Jalfrezi.
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130/136 Old London Road, Patcham, Brighton, BN1 8YA ADVANCED BOOKING ESSENTIAL ON 01273 507075 (10% service charge)
Richard O’Brien
The Cast from The Rocky Horror Show
005_LS449_Columnist Idol#4DA280
11/5/09
10:15 AM
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CITY SPEAK 05
Will
L7 is searching for a new local voice – and it’s providing a fascinating opportunity to find out what’s on your minds. Over the next few weeks we’ll be printing some of the submissions. First out of the post bag this week... Andrew, 36, Brighton
Will Harris has finally got it nailed
I
’ve always been a nail-biter. I think started dating E. Were the two things it started in the womb. While other connected? It seems reasonable that tots were sucking a thumb or a – in much the same way a new job dummy, the baby me was ruthlessly demands a new haircut – some quiet and methodically cannibalising his part of my mind told me impressing a own tiny digits. By the age of five, I new love interest would require a pair had hands like Gordon Brown’s. It’s a of hands that didn’t look like Freddy good job nails regenerate or I’d Krueger with his gloves on inside out. probably have carried on going. By It’s likely Bridget Jones would be my 18th birthday, my arms would’ve spinning in her singleton grave at been gnawed down to stumps and I’d this; after all, pretty much her first have had to cut the cake with my Dating Commandment was that you head. Probably. never change who you are for a Then, a couple of partner. They should months ago, I love you just as you stopped. There was are, macerated “Yes, those are no conscious decision stumps and all, my gorgeous behind it, no miracle shouldn’t they? Even cure. Certainly not my if you’re a flagrant hands. Look ye sister’s weird postnose picker? war approach, they? What upon my cuticles Shouldn’t whereby she rations about alcoholics? herself alternate Pyromaniacs? Tories? and despair!” thumbnails once a What about the week (she had her people who collect baby by the way – little girl, 4lbs, ten those decorative plates advertised in fingernails but no teeth yet so she's the Express, with a clumsy gouache probably safe). No. I just stopped. of Princess Diana smiling beatifically Now, without really understanding at a landmine? Try loving them for why, I have a perfect manicure, who they are. which I never tire of flaunting. Woe I wonder if Bridget was too hardbetide anyone who sits next to me on line. That, while of course the the train. Yes, mister commuter, fairytale is to find someone who those are my gorgeous hands loves ‘the real me’, realistically we capering into your peripheral vision need to change – just a bit – if as I flip the pages of my Metro we’re to attract the type of person slightly more dramatically than is we want in our lives. Perhaps it’s appropriate. No, I will not sit not changing yourself for love. somewhere else. Look ye upon my Perhaps it’s finding a love that cuticles and despair! changes you. And so long as it’s a Three months ago, around the time change for the better, I’m happy to my bad habit finally bit the nailbed, I be a lover, not a biter.
O
ccasionally, some rock legend informs us how it only took three minutes to knock out their greatest song. They suggest a three-minute pop song took only those three minutes to create – an irritatingly perfect stream of consciousness of verses and chorus with absolutely no error or rewrite. But three minutes of genius never takes three-minutes, does it? When singers and writers create their three-minute best sellers, it takes a lot longer than three minutes. They’ve woken up – a fair bit later than the rest of us – worked their way through toast, newspapers, and perhaps something with a bit of bacon in it. They’ve ambled across town to meet whoever it is they’re collaborating with, had a bit of a gossip, had lunch, strummed a few notes, knocked ideas back and forth, come up with a pretty good song (in three minutes), got distracted by Countdown, checked that the song was actually any good, refined it, and finally popped down the pub. It’s about where your head is. What space you’re in. There’s no way you can write your great novel if you have to spend all week selling £1 frozen meals to unimpressed consumers. We all need to support
ourselves, but, arguably, to be in any way creative means being able to withdraw from that demand occasionally. I’m not sure I’ve known anyone who’s had any success in the creative industries without having some help along the way, whether it’s a couple of train fares paid, or some patience regarding this month’s rent. Time really is money: you want time, you have to pay for it. Right now, I’m lucky to have a couple of days off, and I can feel the stresses and blocks of the day job ease up and melt away like the last remaining slab in an Al Gore nightmare. I’m beginning to work out my life’s timetable, to make sense of a world that doesn’t begin and end with the numbers 9 and 5. But the weekend will pass, the day job will begin again, and I’ll find myself propelled between commitments like a pinball hitting one area marked DON’T WORRY IT GETS BETTER and another marked NO IT DOESN’T. George Orwell and his contemporaries managed to create great novels while working as bank clerks and the like. But they did have TB and revolutions to inspire them. Whereas my inspirations tend to be restricted to shopping in Lidl and being born in Croydon.
Want to read more from Andrew? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Local with lots to say for yourself? Fancy your chances in Latest 7’s Columnist Idol? Send a 450 word sample column to bella@thelatest.co.uk
COMPETITIONS A TRIP TO THE BIG SMOKE TO SEE CHUCK BERRY
WIN!
A true showman with over 50 years in the biz, the daddy of rock’n’roll (“If you tried to give rock and roll another name,” as John Lennon put it, “you might call it Chuck Berry”) is returning with his St Louis Band to sing ‘Johnny B Goode’ and other undisputed classics. We’ve got a pair of tickets for his show at the gorgeous Troxy venue in Limehouse, London on Saturday 28 November. Q In which ‘80s film did Michael J Fox play ‘Johnny B Goode’ at a high school prom?
TICKETS FOR THE MIGHTY GONG The legendary progressive psychadelic rock band Gong is celebrating 40 years of touring with one blow-out tour to shake your mind. Whoa! We’ve got three pairs of tickets for the show at the Corn Exchange, Brighton Dome on Sunday 29 November. Q The first in the Radio Gnome Trilogy albums was ‘The Flying ...?
BRIGHTON FILM FESTIVAL SEATS
Great news for all celluloid lovers – Cinecity ‘09 arrives next week, showcasing the best new films from around the world. Yay! It opens on Thursday 19 November with Micmacs, a thrilling comedy from Amélie director Jean-Pierre Jeunet, and runs for 18 days straight, closing with Jacques Audiard’s A Prophet. We’re offering a pair of tickets to both films, plus pre-screening drinks. Q Which actress starred in Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s ‘Amélie’?
LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT DVDS The ultimate revenge horror movie is now available with extra screams as Wes Craven’s original terror gets remade for a 21st century audience and released on an extended cut DVD. We have three copies to give away. Q Which ‘90s irony horror trilogy did Wes Craven direct?
TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN,
EMAIL: competitions@thelatest.co.uk
with the name of the competition in the subject box and your answer to the question in the body of the email. Alternatively, write to us at the address at the front of the magazine. Don’t forget to leave your name, address and telephone number. Closing date is Monday 23 November, except for Cinecity 09, which is Monday 16 November.
006_LS449_newsphil/Council
11/6/09
9:42 AM
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06 LATEST NEWS
L7 News
7
days of headlines with Phil Mills
Council chief tests services, ice rink plans hit thin ice, and university funds police officer
H
We’ve all been there, so good on John for tasting some of the frustrations many taxpayers experience. He sounds like a man intent on making things better so come on readers – fire off a few emails our way about poor council service you’ve had to put up with and we’ll make sure our new chief receives them. Let’s not whinge about the council too much, though, for there is a lot that is good. Something that slipped by unheralded this week was news that the council is the only local authority nationally to be shortlisted twice for awards which highlight achievements by planning staff. An eco development and a study to reshape the future of the city grabbed the judges’ eyes, so well done. It’s a shame that plans have been scrapped for an ice rink in the
Brighton and Hove City Council leader Mary Mears on better customer service
A
s a Council, interaction with residents and visitors is central to everything that we do. Whether it is taking out a library book, putting in a planning application for a home extension, reporting a missed bin collection or trying to arrange home care for an elderly relative – these are all services which require contact with the Council. I think it is very important that, as public servants, we remember that people pay their council tax and quite rightly expect to get a
latest inbox comment@thelatest.co.uk Tasha’s column [Columnist Idol, L7 448] is absolutely hilarious and takes me right back to the clothes trouble I had during my first days at college (and still do have!). Kate, by email It [Columnist Idol, L7 448] makes me glad I have to wear a suit for college, it means I don’t run out of clothes! Bertie, by email Dear Latest, Lewes is gaining a purpose-built environmental study centre on the Railway Land and is celebrating the start of the building works with an event in Lewes Town Hall on Wednesday 11 November at 7.30pm. Entrance is free and there will be a bar, curry to buy and a raffle. The Lewes Railway Land Wildlife Trust hopes that local people will take this opportunity to learn about the Linklater Pavilion, which will place Lewes firmly at the forefront of environmental enquiry, awareness and understanding. As such, it is a development not just of local, but of global relevance. Those simply wishing to learn and contribute, or those with expertise to offer, amateur and professional – all will be welcome. Yours faithfully, © BBC
as Doctor Who suddenly landed in our midst and whisked us back to the chilly months spanning the end of 1978 and the beginning of 1979? A national postal strike and now a vote for walk-outs by Brighton and Hove binmen sound a throw back to the infamous Winter of Discontent, as it became known. Local authority strikes were rife, and even bodies were not buried because of a walkout by gravediggers. It ultimately led to the downfall of John Callaghan’s government and the election of Margaret Thatcher as prime minister. Let’s just hope these latest actions are settled before too many post-reliant businesses go bust and before the rats start infesting our streets and homes. Speaking of bins, how embarrassing for the city council was it when its new chief executive, John Barradell, started testing his own council services. He rang for a compost bin and was told to dial another number, which turned out to be a wrong number and not in use. He’s now testing to see how good/bad other services are.
grounds of the Royal Pavilion over Christmas. It would have been a major hit for hundreds of icestarved enthusiasts but, as the council has said, there were too many strict controls surrounding the palace. Let’s hope they overcome them next year. Whether it's skates or spoked wheels, it’s all about alternative modes of getting around at the moment, and it was interesting to see how 214 Sussex police officers and staff have applied for new bikes at up to half price in the past month in a scheme to get them out of their cars. Almost 15 per cent are based in Brighton and Hove where new lockers and storage facilities have been provided. There is one local bobby who will find it pretty hard to use a bike to cover her beat – a beat that must be one of the largest in the country, in history even. The University of Brighton is part funding PC Donna Bagguley to work with them and their 21,000 students to improve links and to spread the crime prevention word. It’s a great idea but I somehow doubt pedal power will get her to her places of work very speedily, especially to all five of the university’s campuses, in Grand Parade, Moulsecoomb, Falmer, Eastbourne and Hastings. Perhaps the force can find a timetravelling police box for her. Calling Doctor Who, come in Doctor Who...
Dr John Parry LRLWT, www.railwaylandproject.org Thank you for the tickets to see Vampires Rock at the Brighton Centre. It was really fun! Toyah Wilcox was fantastic as the PVC-clad Devil Queen. We abandoned ourselves to singing and dancing along. What a perfect Halloween night out! Dee Pearce Compton Road, Brighton
What’s your experience of council services? comment@thelatest.co.uk
courteous and efficient response to their requests and enquiries. Our new Chief Executive – John Barradell – has proved to be a very useful ‘mystery shopper’ in this respect! John has just recently moved down to the city and has had to go through all the usual dealings with the Council such as applying for school places and ordering a compost bin. It is probably fair to say that his experience has been mixed so far, and so we have agreed that there will be a real push to improve the customer focus of the organisation. We have made great strides in some areas, such as enabling many services to be accessed online and introducing the new social services Access
You can also write to: Letters, Latest Homes Ltd, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House, New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH
Point (our new one-stop shop for residents who want to know about the bewildering array of social care and health services on offer). However, we clearly need to go much further. I hope that this will not only improve the relationship that our residents have with us but will also save us money – something which is going to be increasingly important in the coming years of restricted public sector funding. Finally, I would just like to mention that last week, I attended an Act of Remembrance at Whitehawk Primary School. This meant a great deal to me because this is the school where I first met Henry Allingham for last year’s Remembrance Day. It is very sad that Henry has since passed away but I’m sure his memory will live on for all the children who met him that day.
007_LS449_Bookings/chart
11/6/09
10:56 AM
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BOOKINGS | CHART
L7 Bookings On sale this week…
ROBERT CRAY BAND Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 5 July 2010, £28.50£38.50, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org Gun still smoking some 30 years on, the soulful American blues rocker and five-times Grammy winner, beloved of Eric Clapton, returns. NOISETTES Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 26 February 2010, £14, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org They’ve ditched the explosive funk-metal for much more sellable sleek electro pop (securing the success of recent second LP Wild Young Hearts). But flamboyant frontwoman Shingai Shoniwa still guarantees drama. PRESENT LAUGHTER Theatre Royal Brighton, 25-30 January 2010, £12£27, 08448 717650, www.ambassadortickets.com/brighton Belinda Lang both directs and stars (opposite Cold Feet’s Robert Bathhurst) in this Noel Coward comedy set in the theatrical world of the ‘20s.
07
To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart
Brighton Download Chart TOP 10 Latest 1 Clockworks – Fairytales 2 Panos Christofi – If You Do What You Always Do 3 Chaos Borne – Watching 4 Rubber Johnny – Trum Pet 5 BreakinBear – Rebel In Cheif 6 Senior Service – NY City 7 Rubber Johnny – Track 5
La Roux
LA ROUX Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 28 April 2010, £15, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org They may have been pipped to the Mercury Prize, but La Roux certainly win the Hair Of The Year award thanks to frontwoman Elly Jackson’s fiery, Sydney Opera House-style quiff. Her squeaky voice has proved a more divisive affectation, but the duo’s ‘80s stylings guarantee a colourful live show. GREEN MAN FESTIVAL 20-22 August 2010, Glanusk Park, Brecon Beacons, £100 (NUS £99, teens £50, live-in vehicles £45, holiday tickets £30), www.thegreenmanfestival.co.uk Early Bird tickets offering big discounts across the board go on sale on Tuesday for Green Man 2010 – one of the first of the folky, environmentally conscious boutique festivals with a beautiful site deep in the Welsh countryside. No line-up leaks as yet, but previous headliners include Donovan, Robert Plant, Jarvis Cocker and Richard Thompson.
FOUR TET Concorde 2, 17 March 2010, £10, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk Post-rock and folktronica fave Kieran Hebden, formerly of Fridge cult-fame, continues under his solo moniker. However futuristic the genre-busting gets, there’s always live instrumentation, melody and heart. LOS CAMPESINOS Audio, 23 February, £8, www.audiobrighton.com Welsh twee-pop septet tour forthcoming LP Romance Is Boring (out Feb 1 on Wichita Recordings), a brass-assisted record about “the death and decay of the human body, lost love, mental breakdown, and football”. U ROY Concorde 2, 13 December, £15, 01273 673311, www.concorde2.co.uk Wintery reggae feast from the legendary ‘Originator’, whose version of the Paragon’s ‘Wear You To The Ball’ became one of the first toast records in 1969. Joined here by The Abyssinians and supports. Calendar Girls
8 Rubber Johnny – Fist 9 Thunk – Micromophone 10 jaybee– brokeback mountain There’s another new number one this week as ’80s influenced rockers Clockworks tap into the current trend for gothish anthems and glum atmospherics that has made the likes of White Lies huge. Pop singer-songwriter Panos Christofi holds firm at two as cybergoth type Chaos Borne climbs to three. Meanwhile it’s another slice of decent, Depeche Mode-influenced electropop from Rubber Johnny at four, with Trum Pet as the quality funky dance of Breakinbear takes five.
11 No Sharp Objects Home 12 rubber-johnny Alzheimers 13 The Fooley Mantras Break away 14 No Sharp Objects The Wrong Kind of Love
CALENDAR GIRLS Chichester Festival Theatre, 27 January -6 February 2010, £11.50-£32.50, 01243 781312, www.cft.org.uk Strictly Come Dancing star (and Oxo mum) Lynda Bellingham has just been announced for the final season of this show about a group of Yorkshire women who decide to pose naked for charity. The fastest selling tour of all time returns to Chichester (where it premiered) with a cast including Gemma Atkinson and Letitia Dean.
15 zoe Conquistador 16 Mayday Culture Sweet Liar 17 Chaos Borne The Moment 18 Mara Project The Path You Take 19 Chaos Borne I Will 20 The Fooley Mantras Best In People
21 Mr resonate Say what youmean 22 scene**** and the Sick **** Re-Arranged 23 jaybee oskar and eli 24 THE GAA GAA'S Entertainment 25 The Fooley Mantras Matter of Time 26 EVOH 'I Love Brighton'' 27 Freudstein Misadventure 28 Harper Ash China Girl 29 lolatwist pretty 30 LAND OF PLENTY On Sleeping, Wakes SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos
SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart Noisettes
008_LS449_Snap Shots
11/6/09
2:40 PM
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08 SNAP SHOTS
Snap Shots Photographer Diana Frangi captures the faces and places that define our city. This week: cabaret artist Sharon Elizabeth
“
I love hunting for bargains in the antique markets. It helps me to connect more with the period and looks great for the audience. I bought a beautiful silk top hat from Berlin at the Art Deco Fair in Hove – it flattens like a pancake, perfect for international travel! Brighton is probably the only place I know where I could be in full costume and no-one would take a blind bit of notice.
”
Sharon Elizabeth flaps her feathers before her show about a feisty flapper called Forget-Me-Not. Authentic ’20s and ’30s numbers are combined with cabaret songs that Sharon’s partner, composer Paul Lewis, wrote especially for her.
the place for parties atmospheric, affordable, available friday & saturday nights – or any night NOW BOOKING CHRISTMAS PARTIES & DINNERS CALL ANGI ON 01273 687171
manchester street, brighton
you make the booking – we make it happen tell us what you want – we provide it all birthdays, weddings, civil partnerships, office parties, business events, hen & stag nights
call angi on 01273 687171 or email angi@thelatest.co.uk tel. 01273 687171
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
009_LS449_celebcity
11/5/09
4:18 PM
Page 1
CELEBCITY 09
SPONSORED BY
Celebcity with Jo Brooks Alan CarrMills is ‘rubbish’, Heather Mills plans a new TV Heather braves tabloid bitching and Preston show andPrice’ Norman Cook vows and Katie s exes hook up to stay put
DAY OF THE LIVING DEAD I swallowed my pride last week and took part in the Beach of the Dead annual Zombie Walk. Having spent Halloween in America, I have always thought that the UK came in close second to our spooky celebrations, but I have to say that we have really upped the anti this year. I joined the many hundreds who walked from Brighton Station to the West Pier wearing zombie makeup and stumbled in a bizarre zombie fashion for about an hour and half. And you know what, it was absolutely brilliant. There were zombie builders, surgeons, call centre workers, kids and even zombie dogs.
SPOTTED! THE EX-FACTOR
HEATHER HITS BACK
Norman Cook and son Woo dy on a Halloween day out at Tulleys Farm near Crawley. Norm, I’m told, didn’t mind the long half term queue to get in.
The exes of two Brighton celebs have got together. Dane Bowers, who famously dated Katie Price several years ago, and Chantelle Houghton, ex-wife of Hove-based singer Preston, are now an item! They met in London celeb hangout Embassy and left hand in hand a few hours later. I am told that the couple also went for a romantic kebab – classy.
A
bitter row has broken out between outspoken Daily Mail columnist Amanda Platell and Latest 7's very own columnist and Hove resident, Heather Mills. Heather was papped during one of her first training sessions before taking part in the live shows of ITV1's Dancing On Ice, back on our screens in January 2010. She was pictured with her left trouser leg rolled up duringtraining at a local ice rink. Amanda used this as an excuse to write a piece saying: “Heather Mills is so desperate to get on to the TV series Dancing On Ice that she has recruited a trainer and is out practising on the local ice rink.” She continued: “One question: Why does she roll up one trouser leg to show her prosthetic limb, yet leaves the other leg covered? Not still milking the sympathy vote, are we, pet?” Heather soon hit back via Twitter, posting: “Amanda Platell is why women are given a bad name. Ignorant and lazy journalist Amanda Platell slates me for trying to skate with one limb.” In another post she commented: "She said I kept my trouser leg rolled up to show off my prosthetic, UNTRUE. It was rolled up so Bob Watts the prosthetist could see the alignment and work out why I could not do crossovers without catching my blade and falling over. “If the lazy woman did her homework, she would understand how near impossible it is to skate with one limb to raise money for a needy charity programme, and she would know this was a private lesson, no cameras allowed, someone obviously sneaked a pic and she presumes the worst. How about a face to face, Ms Platell?” Go Heather!
Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk
Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com
10% service will be added. Offer valid until the end of November 2009 excluding Saturday evenings and bank holidays. Only one voucher per table. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offers
010_LS444_cheeky/stars
10:11 AM
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ONLY JOKING!
10
11/5/09
In & Out
Bare cheek
Special extended justly forgotten arthouse movies edition
Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column
Spotted! With a sixyear-old boy
Ordering a delicious (and fattening!) looking cocktail in an East Street bar... a trump!
Chatting excitedly on her mobile phone while strolling down Western Road...my bottom!
Buying a newspaper and a can of coke while waiting for the train to Victoria... a trump tied to a poo with a rope made of wee! (COLLAPSES IN HYSTERICS)
Exiting a seafront gym looking a bit out of breath... a bottom made out of poo!
Window-shopping in the Lanes while canoodling with a mystery companion... your bottom!
Brighton bus names explained We explain what connections to Brighton those names emblazoned on the front of local buses have... ADELAI STEVENSON (No. 15) – once performed a variety act on the West Pier under the stage name of ‘The Amazing Pongo’. GEORGE PEPPARD (No. 27B) – for several years had his photograph curling in the display window of Claire Petulengro’s Gypsy Fortune-Telling booth, together with a signed celebrity endorsement, despite never having visited the establishment.
children’s drama, entitled Rock In A Hard Place, the eponymous wunderkind removed a stick of Brighton rock from the alimentary canal of a patient and gave it to his best friend Vinnie as a treat.
In • The Baby of Macon • Amateur • Subway • The Big Blue • High Heels • Aria • Mystery Train • Funny Bones • Truly Madly Deeply • Eat Drink Man Woman
ANTOINE DE CAUNES (No. 22A) – several Brightonians watching Eurotrash whilst stoned one Friday night late in 1993 thought the Gallic clothes-horse was referring to them with his catchphrase “Hallo my English chums”, and had to lie down for a while. MOORE MARRIOTT (No. 13) – in 1938 a life-size cardboard cut-out of the diminutive, toothless, balding octogenarian sidekick to Will Hay was used as a promotion by Volks Electric Railway in an attempt to capitalize on the popularity of the film comedy “Oh Mr Porter”.
DOOGIE HOWSER MD (No. 9) – in one episode of the unpopular
• Jesus of Montreal • The Unbearable Lightness of Being • Map of the Human Heart • Once Were Warriors • Sweetie • The Joy Luck Club • My Father the Hero • Diva • Thirty-Two Short Films About Glenn Gould • Like Water For Chocolate
WOMACK AND WOMACK (No. 7C) – Secretary and Treasurer to The Hangleton Real Tennis Club 1978-84.
Out
BARDSLEY’S
Astral Angi
Astral goes online
★ARIES {Mar 21–Apr 20}
★CANCER {June 22–July 22}
★LIBRA {Sep 23–Oct 22}
★CAPRICORN {Dec 21–Jan 19}
★TAURUS {Apr 21–May 21}
★LEO {July 23–Aug 22}
★SCORPIO {Oct 23–Nov 21}
★AQUARIUS {Jan 20–Feb 19}
★GEMINI {May 22–June 21}
★VIRGO {Aug 23–Sep 22}
★SAGITTARIUS {Nov 22–Dec 20}
★PISCES {Feb 20–Mar 20}
http://www.arians@astralangi.net/ pop-up-box/haveyouhadanaccident intheworkplacerecently.com/delete/ refresh/aries will be having a tough time with technology this week. http://www.taureans@astralangi.net/ pop-up-box/marital problems.com/ delete/refresh/taureans will spend too much time deleting spam mail offering genital augmentation. http://www.gemini@astralangi.net/ pop-up-box/twinstwinstwins.co.uk/ delete/refresh/geminis will be spending most of the week in serious dispute with close family.
WINNING FISH AND CHIPS 22/23/23A BAKER ST, BRIGHTON BN1 4JN
01273 681256
http://www.cancerians@astralangi.net/ pop-up-box/crabbyoldbaggage.com/ delete/refresh/cancerians will have a chance of a great week if they avoid confrontation and mayonnaise. http://www.leos@astralangi.net/ pop-up-box/whatsnewpussycat.com/ delete/refresh/ leos need to step out of the litter tray of life and wipe their feet clean this week. http://www.virgos@astralangi.net/ pop-up-box/doyouhaveaproblemwithembarrasingintimateitching.co.uk/ delete/refresh/virgos should dash out and buy some natural yogurt.
http://www.librans@astralangi.net/ pop-up-box/lifeinthebalance.com/ delete/refresh/ librans must embarce the fact that they are not the arbiters of justice, merely onlookers. http://www.scorpios@astralangi.net/ pop-up-box/hitmancentral.com/ delete/refresh/stop trying to solve other people’s problems and look closely at your own, and ditch the gun. http://www.sagis@astralangi.net/ pop-up-box/bedsoresbedwettingandthebewildered.co.uk/delete/ refresh/what a waste of time, as if any sagis are on the world wide web.
http://www.capricorns@astralangi.net/ pop-up-box/currygoat.net/delete/ refresh/are you sure that you are safe? Does someone have it in for you? Watch your back this week. http://www.aquarians@astralangi.net/ pop-up-box/rainbowcrystalvibe.net/ delete/refresh/all that peace and love makes you far to gullible, wise up, toughen up even, but get real. http://www.pisces@astralangi.net/ pop-up-box/fishybusiness.net/ delete/refresh/when in doubt turn off the computer and trust your instincts at Bardsley’s in Baker Street – yum!
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L7 INTERVIEW 11
PROKOFIEV ON THE DECKS His grandfather was one of the 20th century’s most famous composers. Now, writes Bella Todd, Gabriel Prokofiev is bringing classical music into the 21st with his Concerto For Turntable at the De La Warr Pavilion
G
abriel Prokofiev doesn’t own any heirlooms from his grandfather. The classical scores, too precious for the attic, are held in museums and private collections around the globe. The gold pocket watch has stayed in the keeping of his father, because “knowing me, I'd probably lose it”. But there’s one thing Gabriel has clearly inherited from Sergei Prokofiev, one of the world’s most famous composers – something he couldn’t mislay if he tried. And that’s innate musical talent. Under his patronymic Gabriel Olegavich, this finely-chiselled 34-year-old AngloRussian heads up disco-punk outfit Spektrum, while recording dark and sleazy electro using the moniker Caspa Codina. Amongst in-the-know Londoners, he is revered as the brains behind Non Classical, a label aimed at bringing modern classical music to a hip new audience with nights at an East End pub and remixes by Thom Yorke. After university, he spent a year in Tanzania, learning to speak fluent Swahili and making rare field recordings of Masai music. And, as a composer, he has written for The Elysian Quartet, Russian virtuoso Pianist GéNIA and the Rambert Dance Company. This Saturday, Sussex will get a chance to hear one of Gabriel’s own groundbreaking compositions when the De La Warr Pavilion host a one-off performance of his Concerto For Turntable (with a special free bus from Brighton to Bexhill). Played here by The Heritage Orchestra, a forward-thinking 45-piece orchestra, and DJ Switch, two-times winner of the DMC World DJ Championships, it's a bold, brilliant and highly entertaining burning of the bridge between classical music and contemporary electronic genres. Alongside a performance with
DJ Switch
Beardyman, it also marks the start of the Heritage Orchestra’s residency at the stunning Bexhill venue, currently building one of the most exciting music programmes on the South Coast. “It’s based on the classical model of a concerto,” explains Gabriel, “which is a concert piece for a solo instrument, with an orchestra. In the time of Mozart they were written with certain players in mind, to show off their skills and the capabilities of the instrument. So it’s about really exploring what the turntable can do.”
“For a long time I had a block about composing – I was living in the shadow of ‘the great Prokofiev’” While studying composition at Birmingham University, Gabriel attended several DJ battles and became fascinated by the skill involved. Treated in a certain way, he saw, the turntable could function as a musical instrument in itself. When DJ Yoda (who performed Concerto For Turntable at its premiere in 2006) taught him the names for the various techniques, such as ‘scribbling’ and ‘the crab’, Gabriel realised scratching even had its own ornaments, like classical music's turns and trills. “In Concerto For Turntable, the scratch DJ works with samples of the orchestra they’re playing with,” he says. “They have to follow the score, and be cued in by the conductor. But
there’s still a lot of room for improvisation because that's how DJs are. DJ Switch is really into it. He’s so young he only came out of his bedroom last year, but he’s so fast and so on it.” You’d be hard pressed to find a musical connection between Concerto For Turntable and, say, Sergei Prokofiev’s Peter And The Wolf. But boundary-pushing seems to run in the blood. When we speak to Gabriel, he’s just finished mixing Import/Export, a piece for junk objects including Fanta bottles, oil drums and plastic bags. Famously, Prokofiev senior caused a scandal with his second piano concerto, in 1913, when the audience reportedly fled the premiere with the words, “to hell with this futuristic music! The cats on the roof make better music!” Testifying to his grandfather’s playful spirit, Gabriel also tells us an anecdote about the time he invited two chess champs over for tea – and chellenged them to a game of bridge. “I never met my grandfather,” he says, “and I know it took my father, who was an artist, a long time to come out of the shadow. People would always be like, ‘Oh my God, your dad was Prokofiev?!’ For a long time I had a block about composing, because I was aware I was living in the shadow of ‘the great Prokofiev’. But now I just get into the zone, try not to worry about it too much, and get on with my own thing. I want to challenge myself, to look for things that inspire a different musical approach – and I guess that is something I share with him.” Gabriel Prokofiev’s Concerto For Turntable, De La Warr Pavilion, Saturday 14 November, 8pm, £14. Book on 01424 229 111 or www.dlwp.com. A free bus service will run between Brighton and Bexhill, leaving the Old Steine at 6.30pm. To book a place contact the DLWP box office.
The De La Warr Pavilion is offering Latest 7 readers ten pairs of tickets to this event on Saturday 14 November. For a chance to win a pair, just tell us: What is the first name of Gabriel’s famous grandfather? Email competitions@thelatest.co.uk and leave your name and contact details. Closing date: 12 November.
WIN!
012_LS449_Ads
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013_LS449_Ring
11/5/09
4:32 PM
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COVER FEATURE 13
Love comes full circle Find the perfect romantic gift as individual as your romance at bespoke jewellers Ring
E
stablished in 2005, Ring is fast gaining a great reputation as a quality bespoke jewellery shop. In store, signed thank yous are proudly displayed from both members of the public and celebrity clients alike. Their famous clientele includes musician Mark Ronson, England footballer Theo Walcott, BBC DJ George Lamb, EastEnders’ Kara Tointon (Dawn) and GMTV’s Kate Garraway among many others.
budget, it can often be reproduced by their local workshops in a smaller carat weight or a different stone quality to work within a customer’s price range. Ring also specialise in making wedding bands that are shaped to fit around engagement rings. Many female customers find that when they are trying on wedding bands they do not sit correctly with their engagement ring and there are often gaps which can create wear to the engagement ring. At Ring, shaped bands can be made either plain or diamond
set to create a stunning compliment to the engagement ring. For men, they have a choice of five white metals including titanium inlaid with precious metals, as well as the classic yellow and rose golds. At Ring, the light, spacious interior allows customers to browse freely, and the whole design team take a no-pressure approach when advising clients. Owner Stuart Stanley says: “We are noticing lately, more and more, that members of the public are feeling pressured by pushy sales people in the jewellery trade and often just need advice in the early stages of looking for their perfect engagement or wedding ring. We are happy to educate people about gem stones and metal so they are better informed when making their choices. At Ring we give impartial advice because most of what we sell is bespoke so we will never over-promote a particular stone or metal just because it’s the only one we have in stock!” The most popular commissions at Ring are diamond engagement rings and wedding bands. When it comes to engagement rings, Ring use laboratory certificated, conflictfree diamonds. Almost any carat weight and grade of diamond can be sourced. This means that, even if a design seems over
With Christmas fast approaching, Ring’s bespoke cufflinks are always a winner for the man who has everything (or who is just tricky to buy for!). There are dozens of stock designs from Brighton themes to Bansky graffiti but, for the personal touch, they can be made using your own photo. Be it the recipient’s favourite car, place or team colours, the cufflinks can be made with any image. The most popular designs are photos of loved ones – many of which are their pets! Ring have also been commissioned to make large quantity corporate orders for companies like Zurich and Southern Water using their company logos. Ring stock a high-end silver range which is also extremely popular for gifts at Christmas. Choose a stone, choose a metal, choose a setting, choose a finish, choose Ring. Ring, 21 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, BN1 1HB, 01273 773 544 ringdesign@hotmail.co.uk, www.ringjewellery.co.uk
003_LH448_web ad
10/30/09
2:09 PM
Page 1
it’s No 1... it’s TOP OF THE PROPS
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015_LS449_Health
11/5/09
4:29 PM
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HEALTH & BEAUTY 15
Winter wonders Zara Baker finds the best moisturising products to combat the damaging effects of the winter season on your skin Cold winter winds and warm central heating can strip the natural moisture from our skin, leaving it dry and our complexion looking dull. Moisturiser and SPF may seem more important in the summer months as we spend more time outside, but it’s just as necessary to keep up a skin care regime in the winter months. Keep skin soft, supple and moisturised with these little winter wonders no beauty bag should be without... Tesco Skin Wisdom Instant Benefits Visibly Radiant Tinted Moisturiser £4.88, available from selected Tescos stores nationwide. A long name for a product but self explanatory: skin is left with a healthy glow and visibly radiant. A trip to Tesco will get you far more than groceries. The Body Shop Coconut Body Butter £12.20, available from Body Shop stores nationwide and www.thebodyshop.co.uk A firm favourite in beauty bags, these body butters are long lasting and smell absolutely heavenly. The coconut body butter is perfect this winter to lift the mood and remind you of summer days. A rich yet light texture means it’s absorbed easily for hydrated skin all day long.
Lush: Skin’s Shangri La moisturiser £24.95, available at Lush shops nationwide, mail order on 01202 668 545 and www.lush.co.uk French vanilla and luxurious oils make this an ideal moisturiser for mature skin. A little goes a long way and transforms skin from dry to a glowing radiance.
Lush: Lip Service lip balm £4.63, available at Lush shops nationwide, mail order on 01202 668 545 and www.lush.co.uk With effective oils and butters, plus tangerine oil for tone, this is a saviour for dry, cracked lips. It also works wonders on heels, cuticles and elbows.
Amiella Aloe Vera Hand and Body Lotion by Green People £14.50, available from www.amiellaskincare.co.uk Certified with the Organic Food Federation, this soothing body lotion revives dry and chapped hands. Aloe vera, coconut and berrywax re-hydrate the skin and leave a wonderful, uplifting aroma. Sanex Dermo Moisturising Shower Gel £1.89 250ml, £3.19 500ml, available exclusively in Boots stores nationwide, www.boots.com/ www.nakedbodycare.co.uk This has a light, non-greasy formulation with dermo oils to help skin prone to dryness maintain its natural moisture balance. Skin is left feeling soft and naturally protected.
000_LS449_ Dome
11/5/09
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017_LS449_food
11/5/09
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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK 17
Food & Drink Andrew Kay is making a habit of dining at Table in Brighton’s MyHotel
Best manners T
his review has been unduly long in coming. I have eaten at Table on numerous occasions since the change from Zilli, and I have to say that, much as I liked a lot of what Zilli had done in terms of cooking, Table is so far proving to be a much better experience. Of course, much of that is down to keeping what is good and changing what is not. Too often the baby gets thrown out with the bath water but not here, and it is heartening to know that on arrival the inimitable Gigi and his team are in place to look after you. Gigi is a maitre d’ of the old school who embraces modern styles and needs. In his hands you get looked after properly every time. So excellent service is at the fore, and some excellent food to follow. On a pretty grim evening, Mr R decided to embark on his culinary journey with a plate of Cumbrian ham and remoulade. The “The buzz, along with ham was superb, better by far great food and service, than most offerings from Parma, sweeter and creamier rather than make Table the place greasy. The remoulade had Mr R waxing lyrical on the joy of to be seen eating” celeriac – yes I know, and strange as he is not a fan of celery. I was in comfort mode and chose a butternut squash risotto. My word it was good, pretty damned perfect, the right texture, light and fluid, smooth and totally satisfying, and in the right quantity for a first course too. I loved it. Mr R moved on to one of the day’s specials: venison served with a blackberry compote and gratin dauphinoise. I rather fancied it myself but had eaten venison the day before so happily gave way. He loved it, so much so that he hardly spoke until the last morsel had been mopped up and devoured. I decided to try the scallops with a crab beurre blanc. Mmmm. No really, it was exactly that: rich, buttery and full of flavour. I felt rather naughty ordering a side of chips but I know how good they are and that they would be perfect for mopping up the delicious sauce. The scallops themselves were cooked just right, hot throughout but barely cooked, so still full of juices that simply sang of the sea. To drink, Gigi had suggested a bottle of Sancerre Rouge, a favourite of mine when you can get it and a good red even with delicate seafoods. It also followed my customary Negroni, without suffering from the rich bitterness of the cocktail. In reality, a dessert might have been a course too far – for me that is. Mr R made very light work of the chocolate brownie sundae, which he actually decided was pleasantly light. It looked pretty hefty to me – delicious, but not exactly my idea of light.
I chose roasted plums with pecan shortbread and clotted cream. I love plums and these had that nice balance of sweetness and cheek-shrivelling sourness. The pecan shortbread was a triumph; they looked pretty hearty but were as light as a feather, simply dissolving after that first sharp crunch. If I had any complaint it would be that the clotted cream was a tad tired. It can, when left too long, lose some of its silky texture and dry out. In doing so, it also loses some of its sweet flavour too. A small point but I don’t want them to get too big headed. So, great food and great service in what I have to say are great surroundings. Not that I disliked the space before but I do feel that the new layout shows the restaurant to a better advantage. And the changes have worked; the room was rammed with what I can only describe as happy diners. I have eaten there so often of late that I have perhaps spent less time in the bar, which is not a bad thing. It also means that I can highly recommend the soy marinated steak, which is a big robust dinner, and I loved a poached pear with an edgy Stilton ice cream too. Sunday lunch was truly delicious, a simply roast chicken came with a large dish of first-class vegetables and excellent gravy. Almost as good as home made, depending of course whose home it happens to be made in. MyHotel now has a restaurant of note and one that is often busy. The buzz, along with great food and service, make Table the place to be seen eating. Table, MyHotel, Jubilee Square, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 1GE 01273 900383 www.myhotels.com/brighton
Have you been to MyHotel? andrew@thelatest.co.uk
018_019_LS449_Diningdeals
11/5/09
10:32 AM
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18 DINING DEALS
£10 for 3 courses • Diners must produce this voucher (4 persons max) • Includes Eat as much as you like hot buffet • Offer available Sunday to Wednesday inclusive • Lunch and Dinner until the end of November
www.balibrasserie.co.uk Tel: 01273 323810 Kingsway Court, First Avenue, Hove, BN3 2LR
EAT OUT FOR £5 at 01273 677676
01273 775477
01273 730355
01273 325135
The Chilli Pickle £10 thali & a pint
Special 2 course menu for £5 with this voucher - please request this menu on arrival
Every weekday lunch we are offering any thali plus a crisp pint of Kingfisher or a glass of house wine or soft drink for £10
One voucher per 2 people, Monday - Thursdayinclusive.
Kathmandu Goat Curry, Paneer Tikka Masala, Bengali fish curry, Allepey Coconut & Vegetable Stew and Fragrant Chicken Korma all served with baby naan, dal, rice, veg and pickle
10% service will be added. Not to be usedin conjunction wi th any other offers .
The Chilli Pickle, 2 Meeting House Lane, Brighton House, BN11HB
tel: 01273 323 824
We are doing a ‘Celebrate 25 years menu'
“Break for lunch” It’s a well-known fact that a nutritious lunch will increase your productivity levels. So experience Brighton’s finest contemporary Indian Cuisine & enjoy our new lunch time menu. A variety of mouth-watering specials including authentic Thali lunch. Your time is precious, so call with your lunch time order & we will have your drinks or starters ready upon your arrival. Mention this advert for complimentary glass of wine or Cobra* Strictly only redeemable Monday–Friday 12–3pm Opening hours: 12–3pm & 6pm–11pm
2 course lunch £ 0 throughout Novem1ber Available everyday til 7pm throughout November. Celebrate Christmas in style without the Turkey, private room with karaoke and bar, serving the best Chinese food in the city in the heart of the Laines. Quick fried squid in salt and chilli, sesame prawns on toast, steamed seabass in ginger and spring onions and drunken chicken are just a few of the items on the ‘Celebrate 25 menu’. Gars Restaurant, 19 Prince Albert Street, BN1 1HF
www.gars.co.uk
Tel:01273 321 321
www.agrabrasserie.co.uk 60 Ship Street, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 1AE 01273 324384
CHRISTMAS IS COMING... 100,000
Reach over of our readers and show them your perfect Christmas gifts in our...
WEEKLY CHRISTMAS GIFT GUIDES! To book your space today please contact Rachel on 01273 818150 x 105 or rachelb@thelatest.co.uk
000-000_LS449_Diningdeals
11/5/09
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DINING DEALS 19
Combining locally sourced produce with French cuisine. Complimented by impeccable service at affordable prices.
SAMPLE DAILY MENU French onion soup * Fresh Salmon tartare Locally caught Pollok a la catalane Sussex lamb chops in Thyme jus tomate provencale Crème caramel * Chocolate mousse * Amaretto ice cream FRI & SAT: 2-course menu £14.50 * 3-course menu £16.50 SUN TO THURS: 2-course menu £10.50 * 3-course menu £12.50
10%
t Discoun with this advert
SOME SIGNATURE DISHES FROM THE A LA CARTE MENU Fole gras de canard with warm toast £9.50 British porterhouse steak * Chips, Béarnaise or garlic butter: £12.95 Smoked Haddock fishcake & baby spinach: £10.50 Our famous Crème Brulée: £4.50 Tarte tatin & Calvados crème fraiche: £4.50
10/11 New Steine Hotel, Brighton BN2 1PB 01273 681546 / 695415 www.newsteinehotel.com reservation@newsteinehotel.com
gourmet three-course lunch on Saturday or Sunday and receive a complimentary bottle of our selected wine. Book a
The restaurant at drakes 43-44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE 01273 696934 www.therestaurantatdrakes.co.uk Valid until end of November 2009. One bottle per table. Diners must bring this coupon. Menu prices £25.00 p.p. for 3 courses.
01903 812347 23 High Street, Steyning, BN44 3YE
2 for 1 on our bar
home comforts menu Excludes main restaurant. Offer available until the end of November. Terms and conditions apply.
SPECIAL OFFER £25.00
2 course meal for two with 1/2 LTR carafe of wine included
(+10% optional service charge) Avail: Tues to Thurs 12 till 7pm & Friday and Saturday 12 till 6pm only Tel: 01273 220868 www.legliserestaurant.co.uk 196 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2DJ
Please bring this voucher with you
020_LS449_Hotlist
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HOTLIST include the steak and Guinness pie and Mediterranean vegetable lasagne. Vicarage Lane, Rottingdean, 01273 390635
L7 Hotlist
Preston Park Tavern
Feeling peckish? Insatiably ravenous? These eateries and bars cater for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk Chimney House
A bright, cheerful and welcoming food pub in Fiveways offering a gastronomic experience in a relaxed atmosphere. Locals and foodies mix in this family-friendly pub. The daily changing menu, using delicious local, seasonal produce, is complemented by an impressive and good value wine list, all available by the glass or bottle, and good Sussex beers. 88 Havelock Road, Brighton, BN1 6GF, 01273 542271, www.prestonparktavern.co.uk
The Restaurant At Drakes
Restaurants American JB’s Diner JB’s Diner is a quirky and cool nod to the classic American Diner, from the ‘50s rock’n’roll and the retro dining booths to the stars ‘n’ stripes flying proud as you eat your way through their delicious USA themed menu. The burgers are generous, fresh, tasty and available in many different varieties, the Texan BBQ and ‘Across The Border’ Mexican being firm favourites. Other top sellers include the foot-long hotdogs and rack of ribs. Add a thick dairy ice-cream shake in many flavours (including Oreo!) and we have an American diner perfect for kids and adults alike, looking out onto the very British Brighton beach. 31 Kings Road, Brighton BN1 1NR, 01273 771776, www.jbsdiner.co.uk
British & modern European 9 Bar Café It’s rare to find a place serving great coffee plus exceptionally good food day and night. This laid back, stylish new venue in Hove has achieved this in spades. Well worth a visit, they do the best chips ever tasted and appear to have already acquired several celebrity residents as regulars. Expect to pay £7 for breakfast/lunch and under £20 for a three-course dinner. 9 Bar Café, 118 Church Road, Hove, 01273 721838, www.9bar.co.uk
Bardsley’s Probably Brighton’s most popular fish and chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with all your favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256
Check out Andrew Kay’s comprehensive Brighton, Hove and Sussex Food & Drink directory online at www.thelatest.co.uk
Barney’s Sample the new menu – available until closing time seven days a week! Mainline draught beers/bottles and branded spirts for £1.99, plus fantastic cocktails only £2.99. With sixty seats outside, this is the perfect place to eat, meet and socialise in the sunshine. 102-106 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 1FA, 01273 720058. Barneys@home home delivery service starting soon!
Brighton Rocks Kemp Town’s best loved bar is delighted to offer its new scrummy freshly cooked menu with vegetarian options. Their 2-for-1 main course is available for lunch and dinner seven days a week from an outstanding £6.50. Sunday roast is a must! They have a generous selection of appreciable wines, awesome beers and wicked cocktails. Come dine in an informal friendly atmosphere. Enjoy! 6 Rock Place Kemp Town, 01273 601139 www.brightonrockspub.com
Chimney House With a stylish, cosy interior and excellent modern British food, this family pub offers some of the best fresh, seasonal, home-cooked food in the city at great value. A wholesome and hearty menu includes locally-caught fish and other Sussex produce. Pop in for a light lunch and glass of wine or a hearty three-course dinner. 28 Upper Hamilton Road, Seven Dials, Brighton BN1 5DF, 01273 556708, www.chimneyhousebrighton.co.uk
Thai
Gars Restaurant
Sabai Thai Gastrobar
This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a truly chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar before rising to the upper dining room. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.uk
Sabai transports you to the beach bars of Samui or the contemporary restaurants of Bangkok. With its cosy Thai cushions nestled up on a raised platform, enjoy a 2-for-1 cocktail or dishes in the afternoon from just £4.95. Sabai’s great atmosphere is made complete with an acoustic guitarist on Wednesdays and Sundays. 165–169 Princes House, Princes Place, North St, Brighton, 01273 773030, www.sabaibrighton.co.uk, bookings@sabaibrighton.co.uk
French Cocoa Patisserie Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. They offer a wide selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. There’re also beautiful cakes made to order for special occasions. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412
New Steine Bistro
Fat Leo
Coffee shops Spinelli Coffee Spinelli Coffee combines the best of modern Italian café culture with great-tasting, highquality specialty coffee and mouth-watering pastries and savouries, the ultimate ‘coffee experience.’ Beautiful oak sliding doors look onto a heated outdoor seating area with sea views, with free Wi-Fi. Spinelli Coffee, 24 Garnet House, College Road, Brighton, 01273 818819
This cosy French bistro with regular art exhibitions is the perfect setting to enjoy homemade French food using local produce as much as possible. Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three courses, Sunday to Thursday, and £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three courses on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available seven evenings a week. Open from 6pm. 10 /11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp
L’Église
Indian
New to the Golden Lion Group, the Plough Inn at Rottingdean is a lovely, cosy pub offering great beer, fine wines and excellent homemade food lunch & evenings. Favourites
Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk
Chinese
Koba Bar and Venue
The Plough Inn
Donatello
The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk
A firm favourite of the North Laine, The Dorset is the best people-watching spot in town. This pub/restaurant boasts a friendly and lively atmosphere, with a varied menu of home-cooked delicious food including their famous eggs benedict, Moules and fresh fish. Their Bloody Marys are very popular too! 28 North Road Brighton, 01273 605423 Koba hosts a Credit Crunch Menu in the cocktail bar Sunday to Friday with cocktails from £2.95 and wine from £7.95 a bottle all night long. With three bars over three floors and a dedicated team of mixologists, this venue stands as a flagship of quality and has received many awards, including one of the ‘top 50 bars in the UK’. Koba, 135 Western Road, Brighton, BN3 4FF, 01273 720059
Italian
Nestled inside Brighton’s finest designer hotel – the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Awarded two coveted AA Rosettes through the skills and talents of head chef Andrew MacKenzie, Drakes offers exquisite cuisine with the highest quality seasonal ingredients. Two-course menu for £28 or thee courses for £36. Five course chef’s menu £50. Private dining room available for parties of up to 12 people. The Restaurant At Drakes, 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com
Traditional French restaurant offering classic cuisine for contemporary tastes. A la carte menu Tuesday to Sunday with daily specials. Locally sourced produce including freshly caught fish of the day, and an Anglo-French cheeseboard. Enjoy the south-facing terrace with the two-course lunch menu, Tuesday–Saturday, 12–6pm at £9.95 or relax on a Sunday with a delicious French Sunday roast. 196 Church Road, Hove, 01273 220868, www.legliserestaurant.co.uk
The Dorset
the ever-popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national awardwinning Oxtail Madras. Belgian beers, luxury loose teas and a wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824, www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk
Chaula’s Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Mon–Sat. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk
The Chilli Pickle The Chilli Pickle is an Indian Bistro in the heart of The Lanes. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food plus a good selection of thalis and
To add your restaurant, bar or cafe to our latest Hotlist call Rachel today on 01273 818150 ex105
L’Église
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STAGE 21
L7 WHAT’S ON Stage
> Tuesday 10 – Monday 16 November >
The first of the two London transfers to take the stage will be the revered play Intimacy, the longest-running play to have performed on the London Fringe with over 3,000 performances. The Brighton production will star original cast members Vicki Carpenter and Eva Gray. Intimacy has been freely adapted by Israeli playwright Michael Almaz from a short story by the late French existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, whose complete works were placed on the ‘Index of Prohibited Books’ by the Roman Catholic Church in 1948. This versatile play follows the turbulent love life of two women on the eve of World War II in a penetrating and humorous study of love, friendship, jealousy and betrayal. Commenting on the play, Vicki Carpenter, who will also be directing the performances at Iambic Arts Theatre, says, “This is a truly magical play, its subtle simplicity is a key attribute to its success and longevity. It’s almost like clockwork; you can wind-it-up and it just goes. Whilst it is set pre-war, the context remains as relevant today as it ever was and audiences find it extremely easy to relate to; in fact, many of the actresses performing in the play soon start to mirror their parts in real life as well. “The philosophy behind the play is that ‘man is condemned to be free’, and it convincingly demonstrates that whilst our desire might be to break the ties in our life, the moment we do so, we are determined to get them back again.” Opening on 13 November, Intimacy will perform for a limited run until 15 November and promises audiences an exceptional evening of fast-paced, visually beautiful and lively entertainment, as the women confront the bewildering and frightening options that Sartrean freedom of choice presents. The second transfer is The Stars That Play With Laughing Sam’s Dice, a work by the late lead singer, poet and Hawkwind front man Robert Calvert. It is a riveting, speculative recreation of an episode from the early life of one of the most iconic figures in 20th century rock culture, portraying the lives of James Hendrix and Sergeant McNully in the paratroopers division of the US Army as Calvert imagines what might have happened on his final mission, No. 25.
Meet the artistic director
Life, love & betrayal Iambic Arts Theatre bring London transfers to the North Laine
L
ife, love and betrayal are the themes of the two London transfers set to perform at Brighton’s newest boutique theatre venue, Iambic Arts Theatre, this month. Officially opened earlier this year, Iambic Arts Theatre is an intimate venue located in the North Laine that aims to provide a unique opportunity to the theatre-going public of Sussex: to experience London transfers of acclaimed and rare productions on their doorstep in stylish surroundings and at affordable prices.
Stagelistings > Tuesday 10 to Monday 16 November > THE BASEMENT, BRIGHTON 01273 699733 www.thebasement.uk.com Striptease South East Dance present Pere Faura’s provocative performance. >12 Nov, 7.30pm, £8 CHICHESTER FESTIVAL THEATRE 01243 781312 www.cft.org.uk Les Trois Mousquetaires Théâtre Sans Frontières brings alive Dumas’ classic tale with parody, puppetry and song >10–11 Nov, 7.45pm, 1.30pm matinee 1 Nov, £12 Pride And Prejudice Jane Austen’s romantic comedy stars Susan Hampshire as the marriage-obsessed Mrs Bennet. >16–21 Nov, 7.45pm, 2pm matinees 19 & 21 Nov, £10–£30
CONNAUGHT THEATRE, WORTHING 01903 206206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk Skellig Pre-West End outing for Birmingham Stage Company’s adaptation of David Almond’s classic children’s book. > 10–14 Nov, 7pm, 1.30pm matinees 5, 10 & 12 Nov, £7.50–£11 THE HAWTH, CRAWLEY 01293 553636 www.hawth.co.uk Dinnerladies Based on Victoria Wood's TV series, . > 10–14 Nov, 8pm, 2pm matinee 11 Nov. £14–£18.50 EASTBOURNE: CONGRESS THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk
Emma D’Arcy is artistic director of Iambic Arts and comes from a rich theatrical background. Her uncle was Philip Burton, an American playwright and international stage and TV producer. He founded the American Musical & Dramatic Academy (AMDA) in New York, and was its first president. The school specialized in the training of professional actors and Emma attended the Academy, and studied both drama and voice projection under his direction. She also gave solo performances of poetry in New York. Philip adopted Richard Burton, and as a result much of her earlier life was steeped in film and the theatre. The Burtons sponsored her highly successful series of underground poetry magazines and her other various literary publications dedicated to poetry. Intimacy Fri 13–Sun 15 November, 7.30pm, Fri and Sat, 5pm Sun, £10/8 The Stars That Play With Laughing Sam’s Dice, Sat 21 November, 7pm, £10/8. Iambic Arts Theatre, 38 Gardner Street, Brighton, 01273 572101, www.iambicarts.co.uk
Coppelia Traditional production of the Saint-Léon/Delibes ballet presented by Southern Youth Ballet. > 29 Nov, 4pm, 2.30pm matinees 11 & 14 Nov, £8–£14 EASTBOURNE: DEVONSHIRE PARK THEATRE 01323 412000 www.eastbournetheatres.co.uk Stepping Out Richard Harris’s funny and heart-warming musical about tap-dancers. > 9–14 Nov, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinees 11 & 14 Nov, £13.50–£21 Rent Jonathan Larson’s Tony awardwinning rock musical, based on Puccini's La Bohème. > 17–21 Nov, 7.30pm, 2.30pm matinee 21 Nov, £12–£14 NEW VENTURE THEATRE, BRIGHTON 01273 746118 www.newventure.org.uk Bold Girls Stirring play set in 1990s Belfast. > 7–14 Nov, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinee 8 Nov, no eve performances Sun/Mon, £8/6
THEATRE ROYAL, BRIGHTON 08448 717650 www.theambassadors.com/theatreroyal Blood Brothers Willy Russell’s musical tale of twins separated at birth and re-united by a twist of fate. >9–14 Nov, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinees 12 & 14 Nov, £18–£32 Dial 'M' For Murder Lucy Bailey's production of the gripping Frederick Knott thriller. >17–21 Nov, 7.45pm, 2.30pm matinees 18, 19 & 21 Nov, £18–£32 UPSTAIRS AT THREE AND TEN, BRIGHTON 07800 983 290 www.otherplaceproductions.co.uk Cabaret Brecht An evening’s entertainment fusing plays, poems and music of Kurt Weill. >17–21 Nov, 8pm,3pm matinee 21 Nov, £6–£8 The Rape of Lucrece Shakespeare’s brutal narrative poem >10 Nov, 7.30pm, £7–£9
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MUSIC & CLUB LISTINGS
Clublistings
Musiclistings
> Tuesday 10 to Monday 16 November >
> Tuesday 10 to Monday 16 November >
>highlight After raising £2,497 last month for Cancer Research, Brighton’s homegrown DJ duo Prok & Fitch are back slamming out their usual winter-warming Ibiza vibes. The quality mark will be sky high as they cause road blocks with their party mix, incorporating everything from filthy tech to classics and electro-house. This month Kim Fai joins the housey hedonism! Famed for his recent Toolroom Knights EP and Pete Tong Essential Tune ‘Good Life’, Kim is set to rock the house with a bunch of hot exclusives. Saturday 14 November, Brighton Coalition
AUDIO New Slang. Tight-trousered indie disco. 10pm–2am, £3/2 NUS DIGITAL Glitterati. A classy night for student types. 11pm–3am, £3/2 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE Wireless. Pop, Dance and Commercial R’n’B. 10.30pm–3.30am, £3 HONEY CLUB Indie Rocks. 11pm–3am, £2/1 PAVILION TAVERN Guerilla Rocks. Indie, rock and metal. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1
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AC/DC Night – Dirty DC II + Brighton Rock Classic rock club night with a live tribute to seminal favourites AC/DC. Komedia, 10pm, £12 Big Wheels Revue Tribute to Detroit's classic music, featuring Motown covers. Latest Music Bar, 7.30pm, £8 Orange Goblin + Symphony Cult + Thoughts Collide + more TBA Perhaps the UK’s best stoner rock outfit headline. Concorde 2, 3pm-10pm, £10
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AUDIO Supercharged. Slamming out beats, breaks and bass 11pm–2.30am, £5/3 BRIGHTON COALITION Robot Rock. ‘80s synth, electro rock and indie pop. 11pm–3am, £1 DIGITAL The Poundance. Indie, R’n’B, electro, house, classics, dubstep and chart tracks. 11pm–3.30am, £1 LIFE Let’s Kill Disco. Playing all manner of dirty mash-ups and filthy beats. 10.30pm–2.30am, £3/1
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THURSDAY 12 BRIGHTON COALITION Secret Discotheque. Retro disco, ’80s pop, hair metal, TV theme tunes. 10pm–3am, £3/2 NUS DIGITAL Thursday Club. Once the masked magician of the decks, now a known face. The master mixer, Fake Blood pours into Digital! 11pm–3.30am, £7 FUNKY BUDDHA LOUNGE BangBang. Playing the hippest hip-hop, the freshest dup step and banging D’n’B! 11pm–5am, £1 b4 12am HONEY CLUB Fusion. Six DJs, three rooms of sexy R'n'B, indie and house, one place to be. 10.30pm–3am, £3/1 LIFE Club NME. Live NME bands and Brighton DJs. 10.30pm–3am, £2/1 PO NA NA Pick’n’Mix. You pick it ’n’ they’ll mix it. 10.30pm–3am, £1
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AUDIO Summer Of Love. House, electro and techno. 11pm–4am, free BRIGHTON COALITION Floorplay. See highlight. 10.30pm–4am, £10/7 CONCORDE 2 Kings Of The Jungle. Jungle rave scene pioneer Mickey Finn joins Nicky Blackmarket. 11pm–4am, £8 DIGITAL Good Times with Norman Jay. Funk, soul and garage. 11pm–4am, £10 HONEY CLUB Sevensins. Electro, trance and house with guests. 10.30pm–5am, £10/8 KOMEDIA Brighton Rock. Classic rock and metal from last four decades. 11pm, £8/6 LIFE Hold Up. Unpretentious Indie night. 11pm–4am, £5 NEW HERO It is Still 1985. Alternative ’80s night full of adventurous tunes! 10pm, £3 THE HANBURY CLUB We Luv Pop – Rock Gods. Time to squeeze into your spandex and practise your air guitar. 7pm–2am, £8/6 VOLKS Dubstep Mayhem. As the tin says. Monster. 11pm–4am, £5
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Access To Music Brighton Showcase Live showcase featuring students from the UK’s largest music college. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £2 Gama Bomb + Crypsis Irish thrash metal kids invoking the name of the old school greats. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £6 Martha Tilston And The Woods + David Stenhouse Acclaimed, willowy British folk vocalist (daughter of Steve) and her band. Komedia, 8pm, £10 Two Spot Gobi + Bushwalla + Koala Friday Popular Brighton-based acoustic soul act. Komedia, 7pm, £6
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AUDIO Square Roots. Mala/Loefah. 11pm–4am, £tbc BRIGHTON COALITION Tru Thoughts Presents Bonobo. Sampled breakbeats, jazzy instrumentation and down-tempo emotion. 11pm–3am, £5 DIGITAL Stonelove. 101% maximum indie rock’n’roll with DJ and live bands. 11pm–3am, £4 HONEY CLUB Corona Ministry Of Sound Tour. Cutting edge dancefloor sounds. 10.30pm, £tbc KOMEDIA Trailer Trash! Presents Vampires Vs Zombies. Dirty electro, alt. rock, vaudeville swing and soundtrack music. 9.30pm, £7 OCEAN ROOMS Freebass. All kindsa basses for all kindsa faces from Brighton's premier party cru’s. 11pm–5am, free PO NA NA Ice Box. Blowing you sideways with awesome funk, soul, house and dance floor cutz. 10pm–3am, £6/5 VOLKS Carbon. Diamond blasting pure D'n'B bash with an epic 90-minute set from Marcus Intalex. 11pm–5am, £5 b4 11.30
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FRIDAY 13
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SUNDAY 8 HONEY CLUB Sundelicious. House and soulful beats. 10pm, £2/1 LIFE Maxxi Soundsystem. Full on party soundsystem. 6pm, free.
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WEDNESDAY 11 Alabama 3 The country-fried acid house cult heroes return to the seaside. Concorde 2, 7.30pm, £16 The Great Lake Swimmers + Sleeping States Toronto folk-rockers with many a celebrity endorsement! Komedia, 8pm, £10 Nathan Ball + Cate Ferris + Carrie Tree Young folk performers, featuring former Afterspark front woman Cate Ferris. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £5 Staff Benda Bilili Rumba rooted grooves from the streets of Kinshasa. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £15/12.50
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THURSDAY 12 Beverley Knight The UK soul-pop favourite still going strong. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £21–£60 Brand New Heavies The ‘90s funk-pop veterans return. Concorde 2, 8pm, £16.50 Robert Mitchell 3io Jazz trio dabbling in genres veering from trip-hop to classical. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £12.50/10
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SUNDAY 15 Brighton Philharmonic Orchestra Barry Wordsworth conducting and Emma Johnson on clarinet; classical concert featuring Haydn, Todd and Mozart. Brighton Dome, 2.45pm, £8–32 The Evening Service Gospel with a ten-minute faith-themed talk. Latest Music Bar, 7pm, free
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MONDAY 16 Breakthrough With Rough Trade: Vandeville Falls + Don Von Sleaze Local unsigned bands live showcase. Latest Music Bar, 8pm, £3/2 Gary Moore Former Thin Lizzy man and all-round guitar god! Concorde 2, 8pm, £26.50 Gomez Never-quite that big but highly acclaimed UK indie stalwarts. Brighton Dome, 8pm, £16 Nell Bryden New York country and jazz singer-songwriter who sounds more Nashville than anything. Komedia, 8pm, £9
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Nick Aldwinckle
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FRIDAY 13 Amy Studt + Samantha Horwill One time chartbothering pop singer-songwriter still touring. Latest Music Bar, 10pm, £6 Balkaneasca! Eastern European-themed club night with DJs and live musicians. Komedia, 11pm, £6/5 Brighton Jazz Club Weekly jazz showcase. Komedia, 8.30pm, £14 Fionn Regan Mercury-nominated folk-pop singer-songwriter. Jam, 7.30pm, £8 GBH + The Liabilities UK punk veterans. Engine Rooms, 7.30pm, £8 Hundred Reasons Surrey post-hardcore greats. Concorde 2, 7pm, £14 Laid Back And Late With Glen Richardson Late night piano chillout bar. Komedia, 11pm, £3
Fionn Regan
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MONDAY 9 AUDIO Glue. Sticking hip-hop to dancehall. 11pm–3am, £3/2 BRIGHTON COALITION Trash Mondays. 10.30pm–3am, £3/free HONEY CLUB Detention.
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tues 10 nov
fri 13 nov
access to music showcase of student talent from brighton’s access to music college 7.30pm £2/free
charity chuckles in aid of the sussex cancer fund, the maydays supported by the best up and coming comedy talent 7pm £6 amy studt internationally renowned singer songwriter+samantha horwill+bitter ruin 10pm £6
wed 11 nov nathan ball+cate ferris+carrie tree acoustic bluesy folk 8pm £5
swafe live a night of the finest uk hiphop 10pm–2am £4/3 NUS
sun 15 nov vineyard the evening service band+guest musicians 7pm £free
mon 16 nov
thurs 12 nov catalyst club a monthly event which blends the old traditions of a french salon with debating societies. 8pm £5
manchester street, brighton tel.
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sat 14 nov big wheels revue brighton’s finest musicians play detroit’s finest music 8.30pm–10.30pm £8
01273 687171
breakthrough with rough trade the best breaking acts around+djs this week: vandeville falls+don von sleaze 8pm £3/2
thelatest.co.uk/musicbar
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MUSIC NEWS 23
Musichighlights
Music
> Tuesday 10 to Monday 16 November >
With Jeff Hemmings
ACCESS TO MUSIC Access To Music’s Brighton branch are holding a couple of showcases this month, an opportunity for their students to present some of the finest up and coming acts and producers from the UK’s biggest music college including bands, singer-songwriters, collaborations, DJs, producers and MCs Tuesday 10 November & Tuesday 24 November, Latest Music Bar
FIONN REGAN Another former Brighton resident who is back in his home country of Ireland. His debut album The End Of History was an underground hit of sorts, accumulating a Mercury Music Prize nomination on the way for its literate, sometimes Dylanesque, nu-folk songs. Wednesday 11 November, Jam Alabama 3
BACK TO BASS Pioneering dub fusion band Dreadzone have been ripping up grassy fields and dance floors since 1993.
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ith their roots in Big Audio Dynamite, Dreadzone can, via Mick Jones and Don Letts, trace their musical ancestry to the punk era when The Clash were one of the dominant musical forces in the country, and one built on no compromise and decidedly left-leaning politics. While not as successful as The Clash, Dreadzone have still managed to make a career out of their eclectic fusion of dub, reggae, techno, trance and folk, topped off with conscious lyrics and deeply felt politics that have appealed to the post-rave generation.
“I was the drummer with Big Audio Dynamite,” says Dreadzone founder Greg Roberts (aka Greg Dread), “but I started using drum machines, samplers and sequencers and making my own music. That’s how Dreadzone started, along with Earl 16 and MC Spee – as a sound system.” Dreadzone, though, quickly morphed into a proper band (with, to this day, the sound system as an offshoot) and scored a minor hit in 1996 with ‘Little Britain’, a song that (not withstanding the erroneous link with the TV series) has become their anthem, the song sampling a line from the infamous poltical satirical film If... “Britain today is a powerhosue of ideas, experiments, imagination”. A continuing staple of festivals, Dreadzone are on tour again and have a new album in the can, ready for release early next year. “The rhythm section has been together for about 25 years and their sound just gets bigger, bouncier and fatter. Our approach has always been to get the girls dancing to the bassline,” laughs Greg. Former backing vocalists for the band have included Denise van Outen, Melanie Blatt and Alison Goldfrapp, and their current line-up includes new recruits Chris Compton and Chris Oldfield, helping to get the band back on their feet after the death of Greg’s brother Steve. “The last couple of years we’ve gone through personal stuff with my brother dying. That’s the starting point for writing, though... stuff you want to channel into. We’ve had the inspiration and this has coincided with the need to write more poppy songs.” So, what of the future? “It’s a bit scary at the moment [referring to the on-going recession] but people will always go to festivals and go out out for a dance. We just need to keep the energy on the boil!” Komedia, Wednesday 25 November.
ALABAMA 3 They could have been consigned to the dustbin of one-hit wonders. But this South London band have thrived on the use of ‘Woke Up This Morning’ for The Sopranos credits, and after 20 years still make an accessible pot-pourri of techno, dub, house and funky-blues. They’re one of the best rock’nroll acts of recent times with a great live sound. Wednesday 11 November, Concorde 2
SINGING BLUE In aid of Sussex’s Belltree Music Therapy Centre and Downs View School for children with severe disabilities and autism, Singing Blue is a special performance of Joni Mitchell’s classic Blue album, sung by Tina Warnock (from Belltree) and with special guests including Sarah Jay Hawley from Massive Attack's Mezzanine album, Lucky Jim and Rosie Brown. Saturday 14 November, St Andrews Church, Hove. Tickets from Dome Box Office
CHRISTMAS IS COMING... 100,000
Reach over of our readers and show them your perfect Christmas gifts in our...
WEEKLY CHRISTMAS GIFT GUIDES! To book your space today please contact Rachel on 01273 818150 x 105 or rachelb@thelatest.co.uk
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EVENTS | ART
Eventspreview
Arthighlights
> Tuesday 10 to Monday 16 November >
> Tuesday 10 to Monday 16 November >
Cyril Mount
SUSSEX SPORTS AWARDS After record number of nominations this year, the Sussex Sports Awards return to Brighton to honour the commitment and dedication shown to sport by the people of Sussex. After the huge influx of votes last year, the SCSP (Sussex County Sports Partnership) have opened up the ‘Rix and Key Solicitors Club of the Year Award’ to the public vote. Cast your vote at www.sussexsport.org/runsport/public-vote. You don’t have to be shortlisted to attend the awards ceremony which is held at the Hilton Brighton Metropole. The award presentation is by BBC Sports Presenter and Olympic Medalist Steve Parry. The Sussex Sports Awards 2009, Friday 13th November, Hilton Brighton Metropole. Tickets cost £20 and are available from Stephanie Mizon on 01273 644153 or smizon@brighton.ac.uk
Olympic medalist Steve Parry
A new display of paintings by the former soldier Cyril Mount, based on his military service in North Africa during World War II, including the famous battle of Wadi Akarit in Tunisia, depicted in his painting ‘Operation Scipio’. Operation Scipio: Paintings by Cyril Mount, Café Balcony, Brighton Museum & Art Gallery, 01273 290900. 10 Nov-7 Feb 2010
Weekend Gallery This newly established gallery in Hastings holds its first Christmas exhibition this year with 40 artists showcasing their work, including 15 ceramicists. Exhibits include the hand-burnished organic vehicles of Tina Vlassopulus and the ornate ceramic shoes of Kate Hopkins-Searle. Christmas ‘09, Weekend Gallery, 86 High Street, Hastings, 01424 719296. Until 20 December
Events highlights THROUGHOUT NOVEMBER Knitting Month Throughout November Hove Museum celebrates the revival of knitting and crochet. Workshops vary from learning the basics to enjoying the guidance of experienced designers and experimenting with new techniques. Admission to the museum is free but workshops will be charged for. Hove Museum, New Church Road, Hove 03000 290900 www.brighton-hoverpml.org.uk/Museums/hovemuseum
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14 NOVEMBER Wartime Christmas Find out how people celebrated Christmas when money and luxuries were in short supply and food was rationed. Includes ideas for thrifty retro gifts and decorations with social and
Ian Williams
cultural historian Sarah Tobias. 10.30am and 1pm, £12 Brighton Museum, Royal Pavilion Gardens Brighton, 01273 292882 www.brighton-hoverpml.org.uk/Museums/brightonmuseum
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Based at JAG on Brighton seafront, Ian’s giclee prints range from a fish in a birdcage to a guitar with the body patterned with peacock feathers, along with a portrait of Aleister Crowley. Formerly a Russian linguist in the Royal Navy, an actor and theatre producer, he has recently been working in the CGI field, and it’s this interest in digital possibilities that now informs his work. Ian Williams, JAG Gallery, Madeira Drive. Until 2 January 2010
14 NOVEMBER Peter Pan in Pavilion Gardens Stars of Peter Pan, Theatre Royal Brighton's Christmas spectacular, take a break from rehearsals on Saturday 14th November to join a day of Peter Pan-themed activities in Pavilion Gardens. Centrepiece of the day will be a high trapeze where children can experience for themselves the magic power of Peter Pan as they fly through the air. Also: story-telling, craft tables, a living statue, face painting and balloon modelling. 11am–3pm, free. Pavilion Gardens, Brighton
Mind Into Matter
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Jane Adam
Selected at intervals of 25 years since the foundation of the Royal Institute Of British Architecture, eight buildings are explored in this exhibition curated by Alan Powers. Mind Into Matter includes a timeline that dissects the space and puts each building into its cultural context. De La Warr Pavilion, Bexhill-on-sea, 01424 229111. Until 3 January 2010
2 COURSES AND A GLASS OF WINE
ONLY THE BRASSERIE FISH & GRILL 3A The Waterfront, Brighton Marina Village, Brighton BN2 5WA 01273 698989 Bookings must be made in advance. Please mention this advert when booking. Terms and conditions: Must bring the coupon to claim – one coupon up to six people. Excludes Bank Holidays and Saturday evenings.
PER PERSON
• From 2 people • Vegetarian available
6th Anniversary MURASAKI
01273 326231
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FILM 25
filmhighlight
L7 Film
Harry Brown (18) Dir: Daniel Barber Michael Caine stars in this Brit flick of an OAP turned vigilante when his best mate and chess-playing buddie gets horribly murdered by the local drug gangs of Elephant & Castle. With the police (Emily Mortimer and Charlie Creed-Miles) seemingly powerless, this novel idea of a Harry on a London vendetta takes shape. Can’t think where they got the idea. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
Showing this week Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ (PG) Dir: Kenny Ortega
From Michael Jackson’s creative collaborator of 20 years, also the director of his 02 show, comes this combination of behind the scenes prep with a retrospective of one of the biggest musical influences of the 20th century. Made with the support of the Estate of Michael Jackson. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
The Men Who Stared At Goats (15) Dir: Grant Heslov
A Christmas Carol 3D (PG)
Fantastic Mr Fox (PG)
Dir: Robert Zemeckis
Dir: Wes Anderson
You know the story, only this time it’s got the proper 3D Disney treatment, and may actually hark back to the original Charles Dickens classic’s tone of being quite scary. Pay heed to the PG certification, unusual for a Disney outing. Anyway, Jim Carrey’s the bad-tempered Ebenezer Scrooge, barking instructions at his hapless employee Bob Cratchit (Gary Oldman) and rudely refusing his nephew (Colin Firth)’s invitation to Christmas. They’d be well shot of him. Come Christmas night and easy sleep is not on the cards as he is visited by three ghosts of Christmas (all voiced by Jim Carrey, too), hoping to scare the bejiggers out of him enough to mend his ways. You can bet this will look reasonably festively splendid. Showing at Cineworld and Odeon
Mr Fox (George Clooney) loves his family and lives an idyllic life, until he starts to slide back into his bad old ways, pilfering from the local farmers Bogis, Bunce and Bean. You may recall from the book that one’s fat, one’s short and one’s lean – and they’re all incredibly mean. Not the types to take theft of their property lightly. Can Mr Fox’s cunning see him survive such an assault? Whatever, this looks smashing. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld
Jennifer’s Body (15) Dir: Karyn Kusama
There’s this hot girl, right? You may recognise her as Transformers’ Megan
Fox. Anyway, she’s at school and nice as pie until – bosch! She’s sacrificed to a demon who posesses her body.
Less of the nice as pie, more of the eat the boys behaviour. Showing at Cineworld
What would happen if the US army could harness psychic ability? According to George Clooney in this quite unique comedy, they already have. Headed up by the currently missing Bill Django (Jeff Bridges). Journalist Ewan McGregor (based on writer Jon Ronson) impulsively decides to tag along as Clooney goes off in search of his disappeared unit leader. Showing at Odeon, Cineworld and Duke Of York’s
Bright Star (PG) Dir: Jane Campion
The award-winning director is back, this time with a tale of ill-fated romance between the poet John Keats and Fanny Brawne. Starring Ben Whishaw and Abbie Cornish as the 19th century pair making the most of being loved-up and in London, with a dollop of disapproval. Showing at Cineworld
SHOWING THIS WEEK 01273 626261
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0871 200 2000
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cineworld.co.uk
picturehouses.co.uk
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TUESDAY 10
TUESDAY 10
TUESDAY 10
TUESDAY 10
A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 12.45, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 A Christmas Carol 2D (PG) 1.45, 4.15, 6.45 An Education (12A) 12.30, 5.45, 9.00 Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) 12.00, 2.00, 4.00, 7.00 Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ (PG) 11.45am Sunshine Cleaning (15) 8.30 The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 3.15, 8.30 The Fourth Kind (15) 12.30, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 The Men Who Stare At Goats (15) 12.15, 2.45, 5.30, 8.00 Up (U) 9.45, 12.45, 315, 5.45, 8.15
An Education (15) 1.30 (Silver Screen), 6.30 Creation (PG) 11.00am (Silver Screen) The Men Who Stare At Goats (15) 4.00 (Silver Screen), 9.00
Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ (PG) 5.00, 8.00
THURSDAY 12
A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 11.40, 1.00, 3.20, 4.20, 5.40, 6.40, 8.00, 8.40, 9.00 Bright Star (PG) 12.10, 3.10, 5.50, 8.35 Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) 12.20, 4.50, 6.50 Jennifer’s Body (15) 1.30, 3.50, 6.20, 8.50 Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ (PG) 12.50, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 Saw VI (18) 9.10 The Men Who Stare At Goats (15) 11.34, 1.55, 4.10, 6.25, 8.55 Up 3D (U) 1.20, 3.45, 6.10
An Education (15) 1.30, 6.30 The Men Who Stare At Goats (15) 4.00, 9.00
WEDNESDAY 11
WEDNESDAY 11 A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 12.45, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 A Christmas Carol 2D (PG) 1.45, 4.15, 6.45 An Education (12A) 12.30, 5.45, 9.00 Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) 12.00, 2.00, 4.00, 7.00 Harry Brown (18) 8.30 Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ (PG) 11.45am The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 3.15, 8.30 The Fourth Kind (15) 12.30, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 The Men Who Stare At Goats (15) 12.15, 2.45, 5.30, 8.00 Up (U) 9.45, 12.45, 315, 5.45, 8.15
WEDNESDAY 11 An Education (15) 1.30, 6.30 The Men Who Stare At Goats (15) 11.00 (Big Scream), 4.00, 9.00
A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 11.40, 1.00, 3.20, 4.20, 5.40, 6.40, 8.00, 8.40, 9.00 Bright Star (PG) 12.10, 3.10, 5.50, 8.35 Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) 12.20, 4.50, 6.50 Harry Brown (18) 8.55 Jennifer’s Body (15) 1.30, 3.50, 6.20, 8.50 Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ (PG) 12.50, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 The Men Who Stare At Goats (15) 11.34, 1.55, 4.10, 6.25, 8.55 Up 3D (U) 1.20, 3.45, 6.10
FRIDAY 13 In The Night Garden: Hide And Seek (U) 11.00am
SATURDAY 14 Ice Age 3 (2D) (U) 11.00am (Kids’ Club)
SUNDAY 15 TBC
MONDAY 16 In The Night Garden: Mind The Haahoos (U) 11.00am
THURSDAY 12 A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 11.40, 1.00, 3.20, 4.20, 5.40, 6.40, 8.00, 8.40, 9.00 Bright Star (PG) 12.10, 3.10, 5.50, 8.35 Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) 12.20, 4.50, 6.50 Harry Brown (18) 8.55 Jennifer’s Body (15) 1.30, 3.50, 6.20, 8.50 Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ (PG) 12.50, 3.30, 6.00, 8.30 The Men Who Stare At Goats (15) 11.34, 1.55, 4.10, 6.25, 8.55 Up 3D (U) 1.20, 3.45, 6.10
THURSDAY 12 A Christmas Carol 3D (PG) 12.45, 3.00, 5.45, 8.30 A Christmas Carol 2D (PG) 1.45, 4.15, 6.45 An Education (12A) 12.30, 5.45, 9.00 Fantastic Mr Fox (PG) 12.00, 2.00, 4.00, 7.00 Harry Brown (18) 8.30 Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ (PG) 11.45am The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (12A) 3.15, 8.30 The Fourth Kind (15) 12.30, 3.15, 6.00, 8.45 The Men Who Stare At Goats (15) 12.15, 2.45, 5.30, 8.00 The Ugly Truth (15) 10.30am Up (U) 9.45, 12.45, 315, 5.45, 8.15
Films showing Friday 13–Monday 16 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
Up
Films showing Friday 13–Monday 16 Check with cinema to confirm film showings and times
WEDNESDAY 11 Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ (PG) 2.00, 5.00, 8.00
THURSDAY 12 Michael Jackson’s ‘This Is It’ (PG) 2.00, 5.00, 8.00
FRIDAY 13 2012 (12A) 4.30, 8.00
SATURDAY 14 2012 (12A) 1.30, 4.30, 8.00 Imagine That (PG) 10.15
SUNDAY 15 2012 (12A) 1.30, 4.30, 8.00
MONDAY 16 2012 (12A) 4.30, 8.00 Julie and Julia (12A) 2.00
Bright Star
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COMEDY | GAY LISTINGS
Comedypreview
Gaylistings
> Tuesday 10 November to Monday 16 November >
> Tuesday 10 November to Monday 16 November > TUESDAY 10
JIM JEFFERIES
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he bad boy of comedy returns to Brighton for this relatively intimate gig at Komedia. Having recently landed himself his own HBO special – joining the lauded ranks of Ricky Gervais, Robin Williams and Chris Rock – with what he claims was pure bravado, Jefferies has proven he can play with the big boys and come out on top. Now back from the States for a visit to his adopted homeland of Britain, this Antipodean outrage is back for a bit of a national tour. This initially started out as a ‘Best of’ show for Edinburgh, as time restrictions from his La La Land commitments meant he didn’t have time to put together a new show for Edinburgh this year. He did a new show anyway, as the new bits he’d been working on morphed together into an entirely original set – much to the enjoyment of his week-long Edinburgh show’s audience. Last year’s show was written in reaction to the now infamous clip on YouTube of Jim being punched in the face while on stage at the Manchester Comedy Store – we told you he was pushing boundaries. And past material has covered such taboos as his own cancer and difficult childhood. So quite what Jim will choose to cover next is anybody’s guess. Outspoken? Yes. Thoughtless? No. You may not agree with his ideas but it’s ideas that he’s pushing, not outrageous behaviour for its own sake. Leave your sensitive nature at home and catch Jefferies on this tour before he starts packing out the Brighton Centre. Jim Jefferies, Komedia, Thursday 12 November, 8pm, £12.50, 0845 293 8480, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton. Jim will also be performing at Underbelly Belly Laughs on Friday 13 November at Chichester Festival Theatre, 7.30pm, £15.
CHARLES STREET BAR Two’s Company. Cabaret with Maisie Trollette and Miss Jason. 9pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Skint. Unlimited drinks for a tenner! Plus DJ and karaoke. 12pm–3am, free R BAR Twisted Karaoke. With your host, Cat. 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Sound As A Pound. Deck Heroine LadyBex throws out ‘80s, ‘90s, ‘00s, electro, pop, dance and cheese. Plus a hefty raffle prize! 10.30pm, £1 THE BASEMENT Scene Queen. DJ Li’l Alex spins the soundtrack. All welcome! 11pm–4am, free MARLBOROUGH Bring the Noise. Dare to share your own MP3 playlists and chill out with your own music. 8pm, free
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WEDNESDAY 11 LEGENDS Gabbi’s Fun and Frolicks. Gabbi’s madcap party night from 9pm. 11am–5am, free MARLBOROUGH Student Night. Can’t cook? Won’t cook? Drink and pizza promos for NUS all night! 6pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Karaoke Star 2009 – Grand Final. 9.15pm, free R-BAR The Midweek Shuffle. Brighton’s hottest new DJ, Zack Hadley, rocks R-Bar with cheesy pop, chart, ‘90s dance and club. 12pm–2am REVENGE Random. Spanking new night of live bands and DJs. 10.30pm, £3 THE BASEMENT Gabbi’s Dirty Handbag. Dirty handbag and house tunes. 11pm–4am, free
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THURSDAY 12 CHARLES STREET BAR Mad Cow XL – My Cow Is On Fire. Funky house and cheap as Primark pants drinks deals! 8pm–3am, £1 (goes to charity) DOCTOR BRIGHTONS DJ Competition. Let the deckduelling commence as undiscovered DJ talent battle for your votes! 1pm, free LEGENDS Absolut Karaoke with Tammy Twinkle. 11am–5am, free QUEEN’S ARMS See Tues. 12pm–3am, free R-BAR Pre-Girls on Top Party. Richard Jones sets the mood from 9.30pm. Bar open 12pm–2am, free REVENGE Girls On Top: Deck Heroine LadyBex and DJ Smiffy doll out trashy chart hits and pop remixes. 10.30pm–4am, free b4 11.30 with passes, £5/4 after THE BASEMENT DLite. Regular guest DJs lay down commercial house tracks. 11pm–4am, free
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Comedy listings WEDNESDAY 11 The Maydays The top class award-winning improvisation troupe come to Elm Grove. Hanover Canteen, 7.30pm, £7
St Leonards Improv Comedy Club Top comedy in St Leonards, featuring David James, Anton Hammond, Suzi Payton, Ben Harrington and more. The Crown House, 8pm, £5/4
THURSDAY 12 Brian Gittens and Friends Brian Gittins, 42, is a roadside café owner from Pyecombe. Every month, Brian and his partner in crime, Angelos Eppethemiu, introduce two acts they've met on the circuit and somehow co-opted to perform. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £8/6
The Pink Bear Club From the dank crevices of your mind lumbers a comedy show featuring films, live sketches and woodland shenanigans to create something a bit unlike anything what you have ever seen... maybe. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £6/5
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Old Rope A new material night hosted by if.comedy winner Phil Nichol and Tiffany Stevenson. The best circuit comics try out new jokes in the shadow of a noose – will they have to resort to tried and tested material to win over the audience? Komedia, 8pm, £8.50/6.50
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FRIDAY 13 Charity Chuckle Improvisers The Maydays headline for the Sussex Cancer fund, supported by some of Brighton's best up and coming comedy talent: Ged Butcher, Rob Dumbrell, Sean McLoughlin, Romesh Ranganathan and Amanda Severn. Latest Music Bar, 7pm, £6
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Krater Comedy Club Award-winning comedy every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Three top stand-ups and one of the best MCs on the comedy circuit entertain you. Featuring Ninia Benjamin, Jimmy McGhie and more, with MCs Rufus Hound (Fri and Sat) and Stephen Grant (Sun). Komedia, 7.30pm, £12.50/10
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SATURDAY 14 International Stand-up Strap yourself in for a night of straight-laced, classic stand-up with a sprinkling of the surreal. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 9.30pm, £8/6
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Laughing Horse Comedy Stand-up from headliner Marc Lucero, with support from Ashley Frieze, Aussie comedian Richard Brophy, plus James Smith and Dave Chawner. With resident compere Sajeela Kershi. Quadrant, 8.30pm, £6/5
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Michael McIntyre: Live & Laughing Michael McIntyre, the comedy sensation of 2008, arrives on his first ever UK arena tour, having hopefully recovered from the flu that led to the rescheduling of his Nov 5 date. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £30
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Noise Next Door Top quality improv. Upstairs At Three And Ten, 8pm, £8/6
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SUNDAY 15 Michael McIntyre: Live & Laughing See Saturday – rescheduled date from Nov 5. Brighton Centre, 8pm, £30
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FRIDAY 13 CHARLES STREET BAR Fairylea. Classic cheese, trash and oldies. Bar open 11am, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Curiosity Lite. Trashy disco pop. 10.30pm–3am, £5/3 DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Flauncy Friday. Dance & house. 9.30pm–2am, free LEGENDS Pre-Celebration. Pure pop. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Q & A (Queer & Alternative). Playing Indie, electro, soul, punk, and old school classics. 5pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Camp Attack + Karaoke. Definitive handbag tunes with DJ Andy B. 9pm, free R-BAR Tops & Bottoms. DJ Smiffy brings Girls on Top tunes to R-Bar. Open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE X Factor Fridays. Raise your hands as each X Factor finalist takes a turn to cause a Revenge ruckus! 10.30pm–5am, free b4 11pm, £5/3 after THE BASEMENT Celebration with Dolly Rocket. Double the DJ power with Peter Castle playing girly pop & handbag tracks all night long. 11pm–4am, free
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SATURDAY 14 AMSTERDAM A-List. Boutique clubbing with DJ
>highlight Week-in, week out the cream of Brighton’s lesbian party heads and their hag-fags get ravey to the mashed up beats of the superhot female duo, LadyBex and Smiffy. They play everything from chart and dance remixes to electro, pop, garage and Old Skool club classics, plus there’re cheap as noodles drinks deals. So go slosh a drink, sweaty freak, put your hands in the strobe. A mid-week must. Girls On Top also paints up the capital every sunday, so catch your coach from Revenge each week to get a double dose of the action. Girls On Top, Thursday 12 November, Revenge, 10.30pm, free b4 11.30 with passes, £5/4 after Girls On Top London (coach departure), Sunday 15 November 9pm, £12
Hollie spinning some fabulous soulful house sessions. 9pm, free CHARLES STREET CLUB Mardi Gras. HRH Queen Josephine and Lil Alex. 11pm–3am, £5/3. LEGENDS Pre-Ignition. Ignition DJ sounds from 7pm plus bar and terrace open all day. 7pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR AND THEATRE Girls Rock On. Spinning their own selection of music by the women we love! 9pm, free QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Auntie Robbie + Karaoke. Vocalists, comedians and drag (3.30–5.30pm). Then party with Kamp Kevin til midnite! Bar open Bar open 12pm, free R-BAR Kinky Classics. A pre-clubbing crowd get ready for Kinky Dangerous. Bar open 12pm–7am, free REVENGE Kinky Dangerous. Two top DJs, two floors of funky house, electro and pop equals 6.5 hours of frolics! 10.30pm–5am, £7/3 THE BASEMENT Ignition. With the funky house and chart remix sounds of DJ Peter Castle. 11pm–4am, free THE PV AT THE JURY’S OUT Viva La Divas + Booty Call. Live music followed by dancefloor bangers from DJ Rascal. 12pm, free THE ZONE Presents...Sally Vate. 9.30pm, free
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SUNDAY 15 AMSTERDAM Sunday Lunch + Connie's Karaoke. 12pm–1am, free DOCTOR BRIGHTONS Recovery Room + Electro Therapy. DJ D.A.B will be mixing a concoction of funky and dirty electro house on prescription! 8pm, free LEGENDS Sunday Cabaret with Lola Lasagne. 3.15pm, free MARLBOROUGH BAR & THEATRE Big Gay Quiz. With your host, Cat. 6pm, £1 entry QUEEN’S ARMS Cabaret: Kitty Litter + Betty’s Karaoke. 12pm, free REVENGE Girls Do Pride. Cat Harding hosts a massive Pride fundraiser with a rammed line-up of artists 6.30pm–3am, £4/3 THE BASEMENT Fever. Disco and pop remixes. 11pm–4am, free
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MONDAY 16 CHARLES STREET CLUB Studio 150. DJs Luke and Ali spin party tracks spanning four decades. 10pm–2am, £1.50 LEGENDS DWNN Monday Gangbang. A night filled with song, sketches and chat. 11am–5am, free QUEENS ARMS Deal or No Deal Drinks + Karaoke. 8pm–1am, free THE BASEMENT Chic. Decades of delicious disco anthems. 11pm–4am, free
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REVIEWS
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L7 Under review Read more reviews of local shows online at www.thelatest.co.uk CLUB SMOOCH PRESENTS THE MONSTER CLUB At this Halloween romp, the audience were treated to a cabaret style smorgasbord of all things fleshy and morbidly lurid. A great variety of titillating acts performed to a heavily costumed, high energy room with joyful effect. The style and tone of the evening undulated between old school classic burlesque fodder – all sultry music, balloons and feather fans – to some more avant-garde, Halloween themed performance pieces. Highlights included delectable designs by talented corsetiere Madam Chrissy Nicholson-Wild of Brighton, an eye-popping twist on the more traditional balloon striptease and a daring trapeze artist to leave the evening on a high note. Komedia, 31 October ✪✪✪✪✪ Mistress Enna
OUR MAN IN HAVANA An ambitious production, beautifully set and lit and, for the most part, played. But the sheer volume of content in the plot of Graham Greene's novel meant that what should have felt like pace merely came across as relentlessness. That said, Philip Franks and Simon Shepherd did a good job, as did Beth Cordingly. Norman Pace suffered from being burdened with too many stereotypical characters with comedy accents which detracted from his otherwise excellent playing. It would certainly have benefited from some cuts or a couple of extra hands on stage, and eventually the device of having all four players share the narration got on my nerves. Theatre Royal, 2 November ✪✪✪✪✪ Andrew Kay
WEST SIDE STORY They don’t make ’em like this nowadays. In fact, they never did. West Side Story is a once in a lifetime musical fusion of words and dance that truly is as electric and relevant today as when it was first performed over 50 years ago. Worthing Musical Comedy Society have been around even longer (formed in 1936) and bring a wealth of experience to this production. Music, choreography, lighting and stage direction united to plunge the audience straight to the epicentre of the show’s tragic love affair leaving us, at the curtain, in no doubt over the futility of conflict. Connaught Theatre, Worthing, 2 November ✪✪✪✪✪ Paul Clark
SPACE EDWARD ACZEL EXPLAINS ALL THE WORLD’S PROBLEMS AND THEN SOLVES THEM Offbeat and unassuming, Edward Aczel’s wryly set out to explain the simple process of stand-up comedy (chart and all) with gentle humour, which had the audience (bar four) in permanent chuckles. Aczel then moved onto climate change and the credit crunch – again with his ever-useful prop. Add a raffle of LPs and a Steve McQueen impression and it was clear as comical pie to see why critics think he is the real biz. Oh, and seriously big credit has to be given for his impressive handling of four rowdy clots. Aczel rocks! Upstairs At The Three And Ten, 31 October ✪✪✪✪✪ Monica Perdoni
It was storytelling night at the monthly media event as comedy writer and raconteur Barry Cryer took to the stage, regaling us with tales of his dealings with Arthur Askey, Kenny Everett and Bob Hope – to name but a few. It was a privilege to hear from someone who was a part of such a golden age of comedy and is still writing and working today. And absolutely riveting. Fortunately, the second guest was equally remarkable, but in totally different ways. Eric Fellner, co-chairman and producer with Working Title Films (the UK’s most successful film production company) remarked upon his journey to success, gave tips to others and teased with celebrity anecdotes. An enthralling night. Latest Music Bar, 3 November ✪✪✪✪✪ Victoria Nangle
Do you disagree with our verdict on one of these shows? comment@thelatest.co.uk
CIRCLE OFLIFE BGROUP: ABOUT AROUND Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome, 5 November ✪✪✪✪✪
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Brighton-based choreographer who recently filled the Royal Opera House with mirror balls, taught the audience to disco dance and called the resulting experience This Moment Is Your Life, Ben Wright makes dance in the spirit of serious play. His new work for his own company, BGroup, takes place within a circle of 50 chairs, the performers so close that we could hear their panting, see the sweat beading on their backs, and watch their most vigorous movements rustle the pages of our pamphlets. You could ponder the symbolism of this circle for an eternity. There was a sense of spiritual communion, enhanced by the enigmatic little books we were handed on entry, a page for each section of dance. At the end of the performance on 5 November, as our chairs were returned to a stack in the room’s centre with a single lantern smoldering inside, it even felt like a reference to Bonfire Night. But the ring of chairs also forms an adult playpen, in which the four brilliantly
natural performers (Theo Clinkard, Anna Bjerre Larsen, Delphine Gaborit and Keir Patrick) geared up by miming hula-hooping, and wound down lying with their heads on each others’ chests, transported to a late summer afternoon by dappled lighting and the sound of crickets. This was dance as ‘total’ theatre, assisted by Wright’s investment in his dancers as people (dehumanising lycra is a banned substance) who were at points called upon to voice random facts about their lives. So what is About Around about? Oh, everything really, from the tenderness and violence of lovemaking to the tricksy ecstasy experience – a scene so vividly pumped up I swear my pupils dilated, but which ended with one woman dancing deflatedly, naked except for the tights caught round her shins. The most memorable moments, though, punctuated by spontaneous whoops from the dancers, were about nothing more – or less – than the sheer exhilaration of movement. Bella Todd
>Latest 7 is expanding its live reviews team… ...and we are on the look out for volunteers. Do you have a way with words, a free evening or two and a passion for theatre, music, comedy or dance? Send two 100 word samples of your reviewing style to bella@thelatest.co.uk
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SPORT | TV
L7 Sport
L7 TV
YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE
10–16 NOVEMBER
Off The Pitch
Telly Talk
Adam Virgo kicks off his monthly sports column
With Victoria Nangle
I
Creatures great and crawly
am looking forward to next year’s football World Cup in South Africa more than anybody, and finally I agree that we have a realistic opportunity of winning and being classed as one of the favourites. With any team, I believe that it all starts from the manager, and that is Fabio Capello. He has brought a discipline back into the team which has been missing for a long time. Gone are the days where the papers and the press picked the team and certain players felt they were guaranteed a place regardless of form. I believe that all of that has changed now. If you’re not fit or playing well (whoever you may be) you’re not automatically warranted a seat on the plane, let alone the team. Take Carlton Cole of West Ham; an honest player playing week in, week out and scoring goals is keeping out one of England’s best strikers, Michael Owen: a proven goal scorer for club and country (his record is probably better than any striker playing in England’s squad at the moment). With all of this taken into account and providing the majority of the squad are fit – and of course, our big game players are playing well – England will have a better opportunity than anybody next year to go on and win the World Cup.
Life, BBC1 Sunday here’s something quite incredible about a programme that has you gaping in awe at things that normally make you squirm. No matter how you feel about creepy crawlies and their many, many cousins in the insect world, this is so beautiful it’s practically an extra ballet from Fantasia that got lost in the post.
seem the most far-fetched and magical of the lot. I mean, if someone described a preying mantis to you, would you believe they weren’t making it up? Clearly, the wonders aren’t in any kind of short supply here, from the poison-spurting beetle, with it’s defensive liquid bubbling away at such a high temperature they have to shoot it out in short, sharp attacks so as not to burn
From the moment you see that David Attenborough is attached to this project, you know we’re talking about the nature documentary elite. Get his stamp of approval and you know it’ll be a a slow motion, onthe-edge-of-your seat celebration of the world. Just the day before watching the preview tape, I’d shuddered as something with many legs pottered carefree out of an old water biscuit box. Now it had become a wonder of the world, part of something so much bigger with cameras seeing so much smaller; still not welcome in my kitchen, but considerably more welcome in my general area. This week’s episode of Life is the latest in the series exploring all the wonders of the world, painstakingly filmed and developed with each episode focussing on one aspect of nature’s kingdom. It seems fitting to marvel at insects, as they really do
themselves, to the trees packed full of hibernating monarch butterflies. The butterflies get special attention here. As with previous episodes, the last quarter of the programme goes behind the scenes to explain quite how these magnificent shots were acquired. Funny thing is, the sense of peril is just as present as when the hive of bees defended their honey. Even though we know they got the shots they needed because we’ve just seen them, there’s still an anxiety they won’t be able to pull it off. It’s not like they’re going to be able to contact Peter Jackson and get him to bluescreen the whole phenomenon. This needs to be a genuine doozie. And it is. More so than any Apprenticestyle knock ‘em out series, this is a magnificent showcase attracting all types of visual persons to aspire to nature photography. Now, to clean those kitchen cupboards.
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“I laugh when I hear people saying that footballers are overpaid for what they do. We never ask for the price on our heads” In my profession and many other sports professions, money is becoming more and more of a major talking point. I laugh when I hear people saying that footballers are overpaid for what they do. We, as players, never ask for the price on our heads, it is set by the high rollers in the business. Who in their right mind would turn down some of the offers they are prepared to make? We are humans and need to provide for ourselves and our families, and we are in a career that doesn’t provide substantial longevity. So, where do you draw the line? Should Lewis Hamilton be paid more to drive for McLaren and risk his life every race? Or, should Tiger Woods rightfully be known as the first sporting billionaire, for swinging a golf club? People in the world of sport give up so much of their lives to dedicate themselves to being the best at what they do. I leave you with this thought. The Indian Premier League money in cricket is massive and it changes people’s lives forever. If I were a well known cricketer and I was offered half a million pounds for potentially working six weeks or alternatively I was asked to rest, because of an Ashes Series coming up, I know what my answer would be. What would you do? I’m looking forward to being back here in a month’s time but in the meantime, I’d love to hear from you with your own views on my topics. Adam Virgo is Captain of Brighton and Hove Albion FC and his foundation raises funds for three charities. Adam is also HEART UK’s Sussex Ambassador for Team Red Laces.
Do you have a message for Adam? comment@thelatest.co.uk
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11/5/09
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tuesday 10 James May’s Toy Stories BBC2, 8pm Nobody really wants to grow up after they reach the age of 11, but James May’s latest solo series does its darnedest to get the best of both worlds – adult and infant – making massive toy constructions. This week, Edwina Currie joins him to build a full-size bridge from Meccano. Who lost the wrench?
Collision ITV1, 9pm Right, so the collision happened last night, and it was pretty impressive. Tonight the dramatic twists and turns focus their attention on the aftermath, with secret history popping up between senior investigating officer Ann Stallwood and Tolin, plus more runaway van drivers and stolen chemicals.
Film: World Trade Center Film4, 9pm Probably the most shocking disaster this generation has witnessed saw thousands die, but a handful survive. Focusing on their personal story of survival, and starring Nicholas Cage, this 2006 movie takes a close look at the grass roots story of what happened in New York in 2001.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Uncle Max 3.35 Eliot Kid 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Raven 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Charlie And Lola 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary Geography 11.20 Science Clips 11.30 Telling Tales 11.35 Telling Tales 11.40 Look And Read 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Open House 2.15 Crisis Claims And Cons 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing It Takes Two Claudia is joined by the saved couple and takes take a look at the highs and lows of the weekend’s dances in Choreography Corner. 7.00 Coast On Cap Gris-Nez, the closest point between Britain and France, Neil Oliver explores the hidden remains of a fortress built by Henry VIII. View halloo! 8.00 James May’s Toy Stories See highlights. 9.00 Horizon: Why Do We Talk? Speech is a phenomenon unique to humans, yet it still remains a mystery. Horizon meets a father who is filming every second of his son’s first three years in order to discover how we learn to talk, the autistic savant who can speak more than 20 languages, and the first scientist to identify a gene that makes speech possible. 10.00 Later Live... With Jools Holland Joining Jools on the music show are Alice In Chains, stand-up comedian Steve Martin, Martha Wainwright, Rickie Lee Jones, Joss Stone, Delphic, and Black Joe Lewis. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Ray Mears’s Northern Wilderness Ray Mears goes on an epic adventure into Canada’s unforgiving yet stunning wilderness. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 German
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 Sali Mali 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 World Of Difference 10.00 Tricky Business Two 10.30 Vocation, Vocation, Vocation 11.00 Take Away My Takeaway 11.35 Parents & Teens: Welcome To My World 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: The Estate 12.35 Back To You 1.00 FILM: K-19: Widowmaker (2001) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Kris breaks up with Nancy. Silly goths. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 How To Look Good Naked Gok Wan catches up with former beauty queen Claire Osgood, who had come to loathe her large breasts and felt fat and frumpy. Building on Gok’s encouragement, confident Claire is now happy to show off her fabulous curves – and to prove it, she accepts the challenge to try burlesque classes. Woof! Woof! 9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Two Indian restaurants vie to prepare the best curries and in Scotland, Gordon creates venison masala. Gordon also competes with comedian Lenny Henry to make Jamaican Pepperpot Soup. 10.00 FILM: The Wedding Date (2005) Starring Debra Messing, Dermot Mulroney. Romantic comedy. Desperate to avoid embarrassment at her sister’s wedding, a single girl hires an escort to pose as her boyfriend in an attempt to dupe the ex-fiance who dumped her. 11.35 4Music Favourites: Snow Patrol 12.05am Full Tilt Poker Late Night Poker 1.10 World Superbikes 2.15 Gillette World Sport 2.40 Cardiff Half Marathon 3.05 Freesports On 4 (x2) 4.00 The Blue Dragon (x5) 5.15 Making It (x6) 5.45 We Are From...
6.00 –8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 I Know What You Ate Last Summer 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Floyd Around The Med 1.15 Cooking The Books 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Property List: Top Spots 3.00 Zoo Days 3.10 FILM: And Never Let Her Go (2001) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Gina prepares for her interview. Hugo and John Palmer clash over the schooner. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Monkey Life Series following the residents of Dorset’s Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre. 8.00 Sea Patrol UK Documentary series charting the work of the elite teams that patrol the English Channel. 9.00 CSI: Miami Crime drama series based on the work of forensic investigators. Ryan is forced to interfere with a murder investigation by the Russian gangsters who kidnapped him. Does anyone else think this sounds a tad far-fetched? 10.00 CSI: NY Crime drama series. The CSIs investigate the murder of a vocal coach at a theatre. A string of bizarre evidence inspired by previous cases leads Stella to the conclusion that someone is playing the team at their own game. But who could have taught the killer such sophisticated techniques? (Chin rub). 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. A case of vehicular manslaughter turns into a murder investigation. 12.00am The FBI Files 12.55 SuperCasino 3.00 ITU Triathlon 3.55 PGA Tour Golf 4.45 Boxing Classic 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home & Away
6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.55 LIVE International Cricket 4.00pm Football League: Championship 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Hyundai A League 6.30 Revista De La Liga 7.30 LIVE: Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Football Asia 11.30 Hyundai A League 12.00am Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Revista De La Liga 3.00 Hyundai A League 3.30 Football Asia 4.00 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 5.30 Hyundai A League
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders Roxy knows that something untoward went on at the Vic last night, and she is determined to find out who was involved. 8.00 Holby City Linden avoids his daughter Holly when she turns up at Olivia’s grave. But later, when Holly comes to Holby, Linden has to accept the fact she is back in his life. 9.00 Around The World In 80 Days John Barrowman and Myleene Klass race road trip-style across America in this epic 80 Days odyssey for Children In Need. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 When A Mother’s Love Is Not Enough In a frank and moving documentary, Rosa Monckton, businesswoman, charity worker and confidante of the late Princess Diana, explores the realities families face when caring for a disabled child. 11.25 Film 2009 With Jonathan Ross Jonathan reviews Michael Caine’s new urban drama Harry Brown, the disaster movie 2012, and Amelia, the biopic of Amelia Earhart. 11.55 The Graham Norton Show The award-winning host chats to folk. 12.40am Weatherview 12.45 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.15 Saving Britain’s Past 1.45 Jimmy’s Food Factory 2.15 Natural World 3.15 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale A devastated Leyla watches David square up to Nathan. 7.30 Grimefighters Series following the work of Britain’s clean-up crews. A family house that became a drug den poses a prickly problem for Darren and his team of cleaners. 8.00 John Sergeant On The Tourist Trail John Sergeant takes a journey around Britain and meets tourists of all nationalities. In this episode John joins some Californian gardening enthusiasts at RHS Wisley in Surrey. Then he is off to the Isle of Man to meet 10,000 Germans there for the annual TT race, followed by monsterhunting on Loch Ness. 9.00 Collision See highlights. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Fiddles, Cheats & Scams Morland Sanders reports on the boom in scams and insurance fraud. From outrageous benefit cheats caught on camera to breathtaking financial fakers, the programme reveals some of the nation’s more colourful, cheeky and sometimes charming fraudsters. 11.35 In Plain Sight Drama. Chicago security guard Ed Fogerty enters witness protection after uncovering an international auto theft ring. 12.30am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.25 Loose Women 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Powder Adventures 9.30 UCI BMX Supercross World Cup 10.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 10.00pm Poker Million 12.00am European Seniors Tour Golf 1.00 Sports Unlimited 2.00 Equestrianism 3.00 European Seniors Tour Golf 4.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 8.00am WWE Afterburn 9.00 Netbusters 9.30 SPL Round-Up 10.00 Football League: Championship 11.30 Netbusters 12.00pm SPL Round-Up 12.30 Football League: Championship 2.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 3.00 Poker: Bounty Stars Of Poker 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 European Seniors Tour Golf 8.00 International Cricket 10.00 Sports Unlimited 11.00 Equestrianism 12.00am International Cricket 2.00 Close
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2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 Sell Me The Answer 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Stargate Universe 9.00 Ross Kemp Behind The Story 9.30 Ross Kemp Remembers Pirates 10.30 House 11.30 Lie To Me 12.30am Fringe 1.30 Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 The Real Hustle On Holiday 8.00 Mad About The House 9.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Britain’s Really Disgusting Food: Dairy 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Don’t Tell The Bride 1.15 Mad About The House 2.15 Don’t Get Screwed 2.45 Britain’s Really Disgusting Food: Dairy
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Talking Landscapes 8.00 Life 9.00 Only Yesterday: The Carpenters’ Story 10.00 It’s Only A Theory 10.30 FILM: Children Of Glory (2006) 12.25am Hungary 1956: Our Revolution 1.25 Michael Portillo: Digging Up The Dead 2.25 It’s Only A Theory
1.00pm Emmerdale 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Gossip Girl 8.00 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 9.00 FILM: What Women Want (2000) 11.40 FILM: Scary Movie (2000) 1.20am Emmerdale 1.45 American Princess
3.05pm Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 The Darling Buds Of May 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Ronnie Corbett Uncut: Piers Morgan’s Life Stories 10.30 An Audience With Ronnie Corbett 11.35 Wycliffe 12.40am Cadfael 2.00 Cracker 2.50 Film File
1.35pm Scrubs 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Supersize Vs Superskinny 11.00 Samantha Who? 11.30 Beehive 12.05am Scrubs (x2)
3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Location, Location, Location 10.00 True Stories: Dancing With The Devil 12.10am Location, Location, Location
11.00am It’s In The Bag (1945) 12.40pm Intrigue (1947) 2.25 Operation Amsterdam (1959) 4.30 Fathom (1967) 6.25 The Core (2003) 9.00 World Trade Center (2006). See highlights. 11.25 The Proposition (2005) 1.25am 13 Conversations About One Thing (2001)
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wednesday 11 Spooks BBC1, 9pm And it’s time to save the world again. Has a week passed already? A tip given all the tension – remember to breathe. Bit difficult, though, when a massive gas explosion means Britain is forced to turn to ‘Tazbekstan’ for energy help – they only want to go and have carte blanche to kill their baddies on our soil in exchange!
Brought Up By Booze: A Children In Need Special BBC1, 10.45pm Most people either know or have a parent who ‘likes a drink’, none more so than Calum Best – son of footballer extraordinaire and drinker George Best. Calum gets intimate with the problem, discovering how many children parental alcoholism affects and what it did to him personally.
The Darling Buds Of May ITV3, 6.50pm Did you know that Catherine Zeta Jones had a broken arm when she filmed this but was so keen to get the part she didn’t have a cast put on it? Like Mariette would have a whopping great plaster cast on her pretty little arm! Anyway, young Primrose goes courting and Mariette gives Pop and Ma a perfick gift.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 10.30 Passing Of A Generation 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Uncle Max 3.35 Eliot Kid 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Keep Your Enemies Close 4.35 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 The Secret Show 8.15 The Secret Show 8.30 Tommy Zoom 8.40 Pinky Dinky Doo 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Charlie And Lola 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 FILM: Foreign Correspondent (1940) 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Working Lunch 2.00 The Daily Politics 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia takes a peek into the Training Rooms to find out how our couples are shaping up. 7.00 Passing Of A Generation – Highlights Highlights of the service from Westminster Abbey to honour the passing of the WW1 generation. 8.00 Natural World Wildlife documentary. Manta rays are one of the most intelligent creatures in the ocean and, at up to seven metres long, one of the largest. Yet despite their size and curious nature, almost nothing is known about their lives. 9.00 Andrew Marr’s The Making Of Modern Britain The third film in Andrew Marr’s epic six-part series. Britain gets its first taste of total war. 10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic, award-winning pop quiz. The show is hosted by Mark Watson, with team captains Phill Jupitus and Noel Fielding. Guests include comedian Tim Minchin, journalist Donal Macintyre, musician Daniel Merriweather and lead singer of The Noisettes Shingai Shoniwa. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Armistice Professor David Reynolds takes a fresh look at the events and personalities that brought about the armistice of 1918. 12.50am An Island Parish 1.20 BBC News 4.00 Spanish Shorts 5.00 Class Clips
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Sally is left fuming when Laurel puts her foot down. Leyla’s hand is forced when Natasha issues her with an ultimatum. 7.30 Coronation Street Sally goes ballistic when John Stape returns to the Street. Quelle surprise. 8.00 An Audience With Donny And Marie Donny and Marie Osmond bring us a taste of their hugely successful Las Vegas show and answer questions from a celebrity audience about three decades as showbiz superstars. Keep sunglasses close to hand to shield the dazzling smiles. Whoa! 9.00 Collision Tolin already knows that there is more to the collision than meets the eye, but his boss considers the case closed so Tolin has to beg for more time to unravel all the mysteries of the case. Beg! On bended knee! That word doesn’t mean what it used to mean. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 In The Line Of Fire First of a two-part documentary on the work of the CO19, the firearms division of the Metropolitan Police. 11.35 Nightwatch With Steve Scott (x2) 1.35am Loose Women 2.15 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.10 Kym Marsh – Born Too Soon: Tonight 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.50 I Know What You Ate Last Summer 12.45pm Five News 12.50 Floyd Around The Med 1.15 Cooking The Books 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Property List: Top Spots 3.05 FILM: Ike: Countdown To D-Day (2004) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Xavier struggles with Gina’s new job. Ruby comes up with a plan to help Charlie. Charlie is distressed about Angelo. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Highland Emergency Documentary series following the work of the emergency services in the Highlands of Scotland. 8.00 Britain’s Best Brain Quiz show with Zoe Ball and Jamie Theakston. Competitors tackle five tasks that have been scientifically created to test different functions of the brain memory, co-ordination, calculation, recognition and risk. 9.00 FILM: The Longest Yard (2005) Starring Adam Sandler, Burt Reynolds, Chris Rock. Remake of the classic 1970s prison movie. A quarterback who has been imprisoned for drinkdriving is forced by a sadistic warder to organise an American football game between prisoners and guards. He then faces the tough decision of whether to throw the match for early release. As Sandler looks just like an athlete. 11.20 Shops, Robbers And Videotape Documentary series. 12.15am PartyPoker.com World Open V 1.40 SuperCasino 3.00 2009 Summer X Games 3.55 NHRA Drag Racing 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (z2) 8.00 Revista De La Liga 8.55 LIVE International Cricket 5.30pm Hyundai A League 6.00 European Tour Weekly 6.30 Total Rugby 7.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.30 LIVE: Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 10.00 You’re On Sky Sports 11.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.00am Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 1.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 2.00 Golf: Egyptian Open 2009 3.00 LIVE European Tour Golf
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Jimmy’s Food Factory Entertaining science series. In this programme Jimmy tries to copy some of the methods that food companies use to preserve food. He finds out why peas have to be frozen within hours of picking and attempts to suck all the water out of strawberries. 8.00 Waterloo Road Contemporary drama series. Danielle and Aleesha stagger into school still drunk from the night before, and Paul’s solution to their hangovers places Danielle in life-threatening danger. Silly bloke. 9.00 Spooks See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws The midweek National Lottery draws with presenter Myleene Klass and special guests Stereophonics. You can see it’s a dream come true for Kelly Jones and co. 10.45 Brought Up By Booze: A Children In Need Special See highlights. 11.50 FILM: Good Night, And Good Luck (2005) Starring Jeff Daniels, George Clooney, David Strathairn, Robert Downey Jr. Stylish drama set in 1950s America. 1.15am Weatherview 1.20 Sign Zone: Gandhi 2.20 Antiques Roadshow 3.20 BBC News
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 Sali Mali 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 World Of Difference 10.00 Tricky Business Two 10.30 Vocation, Vocation, Vocation 11.00 Take Away My Takeaway 11.35 Parents & Teens: Welcome To My World 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Without A Trace 1.25 FILM: The Riddle Of The Sands (1979) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Michaela is convinced Zak is a gigolo after she sees him take money from Helen. Yeah, that’s the first place a normal brain should jump. Eh? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 Country House Rescue Ruth catches up with Mary-Anne and Alastair Robb, the owners of Cothay manor house in Somerset. The couple failed to make a profit by opening the manor’s gardens to the public, and can’t say who will inherit the house. 9.00 The Family Eight-part observational series documenting family life. Pregnant Kaki is feeling unhappy as her due date approaches and Jeet threatens to leave for India, with or without her. 10.00 True Blood Fantasy drama. As Sookie comes to terms with her grandmother’s death at the hands of the serial killer, both Bill and Sam try to help console her. 11.15 Generation Kill Drama. First Recon see the human face of war as they help escort Iraqi civilians leaving Baghdad. 12.35am 4 Music: 360 Sessions 1.10 4Play: Soft Toy Emergency 1.25 Rimmel London Presents The World’s Greatest Pop Star: Robbie Williams 2.25 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 4.15 Mama Lou 4.20 The Class 4.45 Switched 5.10 St Elsewhere
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 9.00 Hyundai A League 9.30 Football Asia 10.00 LIVE ATP Tennis 10.00pm Trans World Sport 11.00 International Cricket 1.00am Trans World Sport 2.00 Watersports World 4.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 7.00am European Seniors Tour Golf 8.00 Poker Million 10.00 Revista De La Liga 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Supercross 1.00 Hyundai A League 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Revista De La Liga 3.00 Poker Million 5.00 WWE The Bottom Line 6.00 WWE Afterburn 7.00 Powder Adventures 7.30 LIVE: Greyhound Racing 10.00 Watersports World 11.00 Tenpin Bowling 12.00am Max Power 1.00 Summer Speed Motor Sport 2.00 Close
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1.00pm Project Runway 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Sell Me The Answer 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Project Runway 9.00 NCIS: LA 10.00 Half Cut Woman 11.00 Law And Order 12.00am Road Wars 1.00 Martina Cole: Girls In Gangs LA
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.50 The Real Hustle On Holiday 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 The Noughties... Was That It? 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Spooks 1.15 The Noughties... Was That It? 3.45 Mad About The House 4.45 Russell Howard’s Good News 5.30 Close
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 The Last Days Of The Liners 8.30 Art Deco Icons 9.00 The Children Who Fought Hitler 10.00 Flight Of The Conchords 10.30 It’s Only A Theory 11.00 Wallander 12.35am War Heroes: Section 60 Arlington Cemetery - Storyville 1.30 It’s Only A Theory
1.00pm Airline USA 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 7.30 New You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Gossip Girl 9.00 Trinity 10.00 FILM: Scary Movie (2000) 11.45 Coronation Street 12.15am Hell’s Kitchen USA
2.05pm The Darling Buds Of May 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 The Darling Buds Of May. See highlights. 7.55 Monarch Of The Glen 9.00 Midsomer Murders’ Map 10.00 Prime Suspect 12.15am Wycliffe 1.15 Cane
1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Sliding Doors (1998) 11.00 School Of Comedy (x2) 12.05am Fonejacker 12.35 Scrubs (x2)
3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Gerry’s Big Decision 11.05 Saving Grace 12.05am Gerry’s Big Decision
11.00am Millions Like Us (1943) 1.00pm Siege At Red River (1954) 2.50 Viva Max! (1969) 4.40 The Tall Men (1955) 7.00 Picture Perfect (1997) 9.00 House Of Flying Daggers (2004) 11.15 Ashes Of Time Redux (1994) 1.05am To Kill A King (2003) 3.15 Close
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thursday 12 River Monsters ITV1, 7.30pm Fishing used to be a relaxing pastime. Louis Armstrong sang about it with Bing Crosby and dads would disappear to do it early in the morning with massive rubber trousers and no-one worried. Extreme angler Jeremy Wade (real name) investigates the Amazonian piranhas. No fly tackle required.
Octomom: Me And My 14 Kids Channel 4, 9pm So that’s a lot of kids. Let’s get that clear from the off. More than a football team. Single mum Nadya Suleman has enough kids to make up an entire audience at a small show. More than that even. So the telly show decided to chronicle a single day in their household. Many nappies. Loads.
Misfits E4, 10pm It’s a cool premise – five youngsters doing community service get caught in a strange storm leaving them all with superpowers. Kelly can hear your thoughts, Simon turns invisible when ignored, Curtis turns back time if he regrets something and anyone who touches Alisha falls in lust with her. Comedy mileage.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Mister Maker 3.25 Uncle Max 3.35 Eliot Kid 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Raven 4.35 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Charlie And Lola 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary History 11.20 Science Clips Investigates 11.30 Barnaby Bear 11.50 Difference And Discrimination 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Open House 2.15 Crisis Claims And Cons 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia gets the gossip. 7.00 The Culture Show Lawrence Pollard presents a packed show from Nottingham. When it opens on 14 November, the Nottingham Contemporary will be one of the biggest art centres in the UK. Tom Dyckhoff explores the new building. 8.00 The Restaurant Six couples need to show their restaurant concepts work on opening night in a city packed with competition and potential customers. Tough crowd. 9.00 Defying Gravity Sci-fi drama. It is a humbling moment for the crew of the spaceship as each of them deals with a personal point of no return, while the Antares crosses a critical boundary when going back to Earth is no longer an option. 9.45 Wonderland: Seven Pups For Seven People Seven Staffordshire Bull Terrier cross puppies, the dogs the tabloids sometimes call ‘devil dogs’. They are both one of the most sought after breeds in the country, and perversely the most frequently abandoned. Who will buy?! 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Alan Whicker’s Journey Of A Lifetime Alan Whicker travels the world reflecting his varied career. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 Secondary Citizenship 5.00 Citizenship And Surveillance
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 Sali Mali 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.25 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.35 Batty Man 10.30 Vocation, Vocation, Vocation 11.00 Take Away My Takeaway 11.35 Parents & Teens: Welcome To My World 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 3 Minute Wonder: The Estate 12.35 Without A Trace 1.30 FILM: Sea Of Sand (1958) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 I Know What You Ate Last Summer 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Floyd Around The Med 1.15 Cooking The Books 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Property List: Top Spots 3.05 FILM: Pronto (1997) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 10.00 LIVE Masters Tennis 10.00pm Cricket Special 11.00 Time Of Our Lives 12.00am Barclays Premier League World 12.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 1.00 Cricket Special 2.00 Time Of Our Lives 3.00 LIVE European Tour Golf
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Nancy, Hannah, Kris and Darren open up to each other at the disaster re-enactment at HCC. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 3 Minute Wonder 8.00 River Cottage Hugh FearnleyWhittingstall heads to Gloucestershire for some expert advice on pear cider, goes free diving to catch some scallops and forages for fungi with John Wright. 9.00 Octomom: Me And My 14 Kids See highlights. 10.00 Without A Trace American drama series about the FBI Missing Persons Squad. Jack goes missing while working on a case linked to human trafficking. Hang on. He’s supposed to find the missing people. Stockholm Syndrome at work as he joins the missing? Maybe they’re not missing and it’s just a really good party. Here’s hoping. 10.55 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the topical comedy panel show with team captains Sean Lock and Jason Manford and guests Johnny Vegas, Jack Whitehall, Ulrika Jonsson and Jodie Kidd. 11.25 Comedy Showcase Repeat of Friday’s one-off comedy special. 12.05am Teachers 1.10 FILM: Ils (2005) 2.35 Unreported World 3.00 Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip 3.45 Invasion 4.30 The Class 4.50 Switched 5.10 St Elsewhere
6.00 Home And Away Annie has a dream about Romeo. Charlie and Angelo air their differences. Rachel struggles with Harry. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Building The Ultimate This episode looks at the amazing structure of suspension bridges and the huge distances they span. Designers of the Humber and Millennium bridges discuss the problems faced when building these huge constructions. Big gaps? 8.00 Megastructures: Time Bomb Tunnel Examining the construction of the Marmaray tunnel, an undersea rail link that runs under the Bosporus strait, connecting the European and Asian sections of Istanbul. 9.00 FILM: Lethal Weapon 4 (1998) Starring Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Rene Russo, Jet Li, Darlene Love and Chris Rock. Third sequel in the long-running action adventure series, in which the ill-matched cop duo of Riggs and Murtaugh find themselves pitched against the Chinese Triads and their vicious leader. Getting too old for this... 11.30 The Sexy Ads Show Talk about short attention span! 12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 NFL Replay 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 EastEnders There is frisson between Owen and Denise, but no-one expects the turn their relationship takes. 8.00 Traffic Cops Documentary. The Traffic Cops in South Wales attend a head-on smash in a contraflow on the M4, involving a party of youngsters enjoying a day out in a chauffeur-driven limousine. 9.00 Crimewatch Kirsty Young and the team work with the police to appeal for help in cracking unsolved cases. The programme appeals for help with the murder of 22-year-old Royal Navy seaman Anthony Cavanagh and the 18-year-old case of a man mutilated and stripped of his identity. Plus, how DNA helped police catch child killer Robert Morley. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Crimewatch Update Updates on recently-featured cases. Stop your nightmare-fretting! 10.45 Question Time Question Time comes from Weston Super Mare. 11.45 This Week A review of the week presented by Andrew Neil, Michael Portillo and Diane Abbott. 12.30am Holiday Weatherview 12.35 Sign Zone: Panorama 1.05 Life 2.05 Countryfile 3.05 Ray Mears’s Northern Wilderness 4.05 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Sally resorts to drastic measures in her attempt to come between Laurel and Ashley. 7.30 River Monsters See highlights. 8.00 Emmerdale Ashley is horrified to find Laurel trapped in the burning church. Well, pleased wouldn’t go down well with the Boss! 8.30 Coronation Street Tony threatens to murder Roy. Sally takes revenge on John. There’s plotting a-foot says us. 9.00 Collision The truth about Jodie’s accident and Tolin’s guilty feelings comes out – can Tolin reconcile his relationship with Ann with his need to protect his daughter? Sandra is furious when she finds out what Danny was up to, and arranges for him to leave the country. Dave starts to suspect that he is being lied to. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Ronnie Corbett Comedy legend Ronnie Corbett tells the story of his incredible 50 years in show business to Piers Morgan. 11.35 October Road US drama. Nick wants to stay in Knights Ridge, but when he tries to get a job at the local college, obstacles keep appearing. 12.25am Motorsport UK 1.15 The Cosby Mysteries 2.05 Loose Women 2.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 12.00pm European Tour Golf 3.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.30 Total Rugby 4.00 Trans World Sport 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 The Rugby Club 6.30 Cricket Special 7.30 LIVE: Premier League Snooker 11.00 NFL America’s Game 12.00am The Rugby Club 1.00 LIVE NFL 4.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 Tenpin Bowling 9.00 Powder Adventures 9.30 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 1.30 Football: Johnstone’s Paint Trophy 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Tenpin Bowling 5.00 WWE Vintage Collection 6.00 Powder Adventures 6.30 UCI BMX Series 7.00 Barclays Premier League World 7.30 Golf Night 10.00 WWE Late Night Raw UK 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 Premier League Snooker 4.30 Close
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1.00pm Project Runway 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Sell Me The Answer 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 Best Of Guinness World Records Smashed! 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Modern Family (x2) 9.00 Bones 10.00 Lie To Me 11.00 NCIS: LA 12.00am Road Wars (x2)
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 Doctor Who Greatest Moments 8.00 Mad About The House 9.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 The World’s Strictest Parents 12.45am Russell Howard’s Good News
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Art Deco Icons 8.00 Michael Wood On Beowulf 9.00 The History Of Christianity 10.00 Margaret 11.55 The Thick Of It 12.25am The Armstrong And Miller Show 12.55 The History Of Christianity 1.55 Michael Wood On Beowulf 2.55 The History Of Christianity 5.30 Close
1.30pm The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Judge Judy (x3) 6.45 Beat The Star 8.00 JLS Revealed 9.00 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 10.00 FILM: The Island (2005) 12.40am Coronation Street 1.10 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 1.40 FILM: Bottoms Up (2006) 3.15 Emmerdale (x2)
1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 The Darling Buds Of May 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 The Darling Buds Of May 8.00 Live The Dream...As Seen On Screen 9.00 Wycliffe 10.00 Prime Suspect 12.10am Wycliffe
2.35pm Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 Misfits. See highlights. 11.00 Rude Tube 12.05am King Of The Hill 12.35 Scrubs (x2) 1.35 How I Met Your Mother
4.00pm How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation Updates 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Embarrassing Illnesses (2) 10.00 Hung 10.40 Curb Your Enthusiasm 11.20 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 12.20am Embarrassing Illnesses (x2)
11.00am Winter Light (1962) 12.40pm Highly Dangerous (1950) 2.25 Kidnapped (1971) 4.30 Let’s Make Love (1960) 6.50 Bride And Prejudice (2004) 9.00 Wedding Crashers (2005) 11.15 Kamikaze Girls (2004) 1.15am The Entity (1981) 3.45 Close
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11/5/09
10:27 AM
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friday 13 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two BBC2, 6.30pm Claudia Winkleman readies the troops for tomorrow’s big danceoff, sneaking peeks into the rehearsal rooms as backsides go flying and celebrities show a closer affinity for piri piri than pirouettes. With comments from the Friday panel too, it’s a good old preparation for the big night.
Coronation Street ITV1, 7.30pm & 8.30pm If Corrie is to be believed, murder is an addictive pastime, as previous Street offenders have shown. Tony’s world is spiralling out of control as more people know of his secret. Shall he bump of both Roy and Hayley? Whoops! They’ve told the coppers. Plus John’s arrived and Kev gets a wake up call. Lucky old Sally.
Wild Boys: The Story Of Duran Duran BBC4, 10.55pm It’s Friday night, and it’s time to reminisce over the decadent pop years of the ‘80s with its most successful product, Duran Duran. Even their name was decadent, taken from the uber sexy film Barbarella. Rise and fall stuff here, plus general seedy back stories. True ‘80s style.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Show Me Show Me 3.35 Eliot Kid 3.50 OOglies 4.05 Keep Your Enemies Close 4.35 The Sarah Jane Adventures 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.25am Children’s television 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Charlie And Lola 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Primary Class Clips: Art And Design Drawing 11.15 KS1 Science Clips 11.25 Something Special 11.40 Around Scotland 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Open House 2.15 Crisis Claims And Cons 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two See highlights. 7.00 Andrew Marr’s The Making Of Modern Britain Repeat of Wednesday’s episode. 8.00 Mastermind The subjects are British female cabinet ministers, angels, the Stone of Destiny, and the Birdcage novels of Victor Canning. How can you be definiteively sure of your answer on angels? Challenge. 8.30 Autumnwatch UK wildlife series. Chris Packham and Kate Humble are in Pembrokeshire, south Wales, to find out how our marine wildlife is fairing this autumn. 9.30 Autumnwatch Unsprung Hosted by Martin Hughes-Games, the final Autumnwatch Unsprung promises more lively, audience-led discussion and debate. 10.00 Beautiful People Simon returns to Reading and recalls a school project that led to him unearthing a terrible secret about his parents’ marriage and his sister revealing some devastating news. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review Round table arts and culture discussion programme, with Kirsty Wark. 11.35 Later... With Jools Holland Extended repeat of Tuesday’s show. 12.40am Medium (x2) 2.05 FILM: Ghosts Of Berkeley Square (1947)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News And Weather 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV Lunchtime News And Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 Sali Mali 6.15 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.35 Coming Out To Class 10.30 Vocation, Vocation, Vocation 11.00 Take Away My Takeaway 11.35 Parents & Teens: Welcome To My World 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Back To You 1.00 Channel 4 Racing 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Loretta and Jake bump into Kris and Charlie in the park. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.35 Unreported World Highlighting the tragic plight of Nepal’s child widows, some of whom are as young as 13. Prohibited from marrying again, many face abuse and servitude for the rest of their lives. 8.00 Jamie’s American Road Trip In Georgia, Jamie meets a selfsufficient hunting family and enrols them in a Florida barbecue competition. Exactly what they want. 9.00 Peter Kay: Raider Of The Pop Charts: Part Two The concluding look at how Peter Kay has succeeded in the pop charts 10.05 Comedy Showcase A series of one-off comedy specials. Ricky Gervais edited the script for this sitcom set in a mobile phone retailer. New recruit Christopher must make his first sale by 6pm to secure a job. 10.40 The IT Crowd Sitcom. A new football website allows Roy and Moss to pass as ‘proper’ men. 11.10 True Blood Fantasy drama. Repeat of Wednesday’s show. 12.20am 4 Music: Freesports On 4: Freeze 12.50 4Play: Martha Wainwright 1.10 Friends (x2) 2.05 FILM: The Perfect Score (2003) 3.45 The Class 4.05 Switched 4.25 British Triathlon Grand Prix Formula 1 5.20 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 How Not To Decorate 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Floyd Uncorked 1.15 Cooking The Books 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Property List: Top Spots 3.05 Zoo Days 3.15 FILM: The Memory Keeper’s Daughter (2008) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Tony tries to persuade Rachel that she has a problem. Miles and Kirsty are still unsure about whether to get married. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 The What In The World? Quiz Marcus Brigstocke presents the comedy panel show with Lee Hurst and Dominic Holland. 8.00 Axe Men New series following the work of North American loggers as they risk their lives to cut timber. The first episode looks back at highlights from series one. 9.00 NCIS Drama series. The desire to catch Ari increases after he kidnaps Ducky and subjects him to a series of mind games. 10.00 FlashForward Sci-fi drama about a mysterious event that causes the population of the entire world to black out simultaneously. Repeat of Monday’s episode. Flashback and you’ll remember it. 11.00 Law And Order: SVU Drama series about an elite force based in New York that investigates sex-related crimes. When a young boy is kidnapped by a schizophrenic man, Stabler and Huang uncover further crimes at an adult group home. 12.00am SuperCasino 4.00 The Thresher Shark: Great Ocean Adventures 4.45 HouseBusters 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 9.00 European Tour Golf 12.00pm European Tour Golf 3.00 Barclays Premier League World 3.30 LIVE Pro20 Cricket 7.55 LIVE Under-21 International Football 10.15 LIVE Friday Fight Night 12.15am Barclays Premier League World 1.00 LIVE European Tour Golf (x2)
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 8.00 EastEnders Sam ends it with Jack but someone sees their final kiss. Meanwhile Roxy battles alone to give Amy the best birthday ever. 8.30 A Question Of Sport Sue Barker is in the chair for another episode of the fast-paced sports quiz. 9.00 Have I Got News For You The popular news quiz with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Jack Dee and guest panellists including Marcus Brigstocke. 9.30 The Armstrong And Miller Show Sketch show starring Alexander Armstrong and Ben Miller. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Friday Night With Jonathan Ross Jonathan is joined by comedian Michael McIntyre, Girls Aloud singer Sarah Harding and Hollywood actor Gerard Butler. Music comes from the Arctic Monkeys. 11.35 National Lottery EuroMillions Draw Money! 11.45 FILM: Daredevil (2003) Starring Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Colin Farrell, Michael Duncan. Fantasy adventure based on the popular Marvel comics character. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: Around The World In 80 Days 2.25 Lost Land Of The Volcano 3.25 Montezuma 4.25 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Ashley is guilt ridden as Laurel’s life hangs in the balance. Silly vicar. 7.30 Coronation Street See highlights. 8.00 Drivers In The Dock: Tonight On the UK’s roads the car is king, but with thousands of collisions between cars and bicycles each year, is it time cyclists were better protected? 8.30 Coronation Street See highlights. 9.00 Collision Concluding part of the drama. Tolin and Ann try to uncover what Karen Donnelly was up to. They look into Sidney’s past and unlock the secret of his computer. Richard and Jane prepare to run away together. Now that Jodie knows about Tolin and Ann, their relationship can come out into the open. And the truth about the collision is revealed. Neatly concluded. Like life. 10.00 News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: The Bodyguard (1992) Starring Kevin Costner, Whitney Houston, Gary Kemp. Romantic thriller. When singing superstar Rachel Marron receives death threats, she hires bodyguard Frank Farmer to protect her. 12.55am Nightwatch With Steve Scott 1.50 FILM: Peacemakers (2003) 2.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Cricket Special 10.00 The Rugby Club 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Cricket Special 1.00 Live Masters Tennis 5.00 NFL - Total Access 6.00 Sailing 6.30 LIVE: Masters Tennis 10.30 Football League Weekend 11.30 NFL Total Access 12.30am Pro20 Cricket 2.30 Friday Fight Night 4.30 International Football
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE Raw UK 9.00 ATP Tour Uncovered 9.30 Premier League Snooker 1.00pm NFL 3.00 Trans World Sport 4.00 Barclays Premier League World 4.30 WWE Raw UK 6.30 Football League Weekend 7.30 Golf Night 10.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 12.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 1.00 International Football 2.30 Football League Weekend 3.30 British Ice Hockey 5.30 Powder Adventures
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2.00pm Angela And Friends 3.30 Sell Me The Answer 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Best Of Angela And Friends 9.00 FILM: Mission: Impossible II (2000) 11.20 Wayne Rooney’s Street Striker 2 12.20am UK Border Force 1.20 Road Wars
7.00pm Doctor Who 7.45 The Real Hustle On Holiday 8.00 Merlin 8.45 Merlin: Secrets And Magic 9.00 Spooks 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (x2) 1.15 Russell Howard’s Good News 1.45 Don’t Get Screwed
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Transatlantic Sessions 8.00 Lucinda Williams At Cambridge Folk Festival 8.30 The Story Of Allegri’s Miserere 9.00 Blitz: The Bombing Of Coventry 10.00 Classic Albums 10.55 Wild Boys: The Story Of Duran Duran. See highlights. 11.45 We Need Answers 12.15am Only Connect
12.30pm Emmerdale (x2) 1.30 The Jeremy Kyle Show (x2) 3.45 The Ricki Lake Show (x2) 5.15 Judge Judy (x2) 6.15 Peter Andre: The Hot Desk 6.25 The X Factor (x2) 9.00 FILM: The Sixth Sense (1999) 11.10 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 12.10am Coronation Street (x2) 1.10 Emmerdale 1.40 Ladette To Lady
1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 The Darling Buds Of May 3.05 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 The Darling Buds Of May 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot (x2) 11.20 FILM: Shakespeare In Love (1998) 1.35am Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3.10 Surgical Spirit
1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Supernanny 10.00 Wife Swap 11.10 FILM: Sliding Doors (1998) 1.10am Scrubs (x2) 2.05 How I Met Your Mother
3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 9.00 Grand Designs 10.35 Engineering Ancient Egypt 12.45am Grand Designs 2.20 Engineering Ancient Egypt
11.00am Dual Alibi (1947) 12.40pm Gentleman’s Agreement (1947) 3.00 The Sheriff Of Fractured Jaw (1958) 5.00 Please Sir! (1971) 7.00 My House In Umbria (2003) 9.00 Zoolander (2001) 10.40 Death Note (2006) 1.05am Death Note: The Last Name (2006) 3.50 Close
033_LS449_TV_Sat
11/6/09
1:11 PM
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saturday 14 Harry Hill’s TV Burp ITV1, 7.30pm Been out partying all week? Fear not. The best and funniest of the week’s telly is presented here for you with comedic asides about them all courtesy of Mr Hill. You can be sure there’ll be a smattering of Coronation Street and at least a dash of drama, as well as the muchloved ridiculous fight. Ahh.
The Thick Of It BBC2, 10.10pm The bile from Malcolm continues to make the government quake, but today those at DoSAC have something else to distract them as the Shadow Minister and his crew come round for a visit. Terri puts on more make-up and Nicola simply finds it an extra distraction from getting Glenn and Olly to do her bidding.
Film: The Day After Tomorrow Film4, 6.40pm The perfect fodder with which to feed the regular seasonal transition paranoia of what the elements will do to us next. Living by the sea, we see what it can do. Living with CGI, this lot take it one step further and drop into the next ice age one weekend, along with various other disasters.
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6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Animal Park 10.45 The Lord Mayor’s Show 12.10pm BBC News 12.20 South East Today 12.30 Football Focus 1.10 MotoGP: 2009 Season Review 2.00 Rugby Union: Scotland V Fiji 4.40 My Family 5.10 BBC News 5.25 South East Today 5.35 Hole In The Wall
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 7.00 Dennis & Gnasher 7.10 Dennis & Gnasher 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 8.00 Gimme A Break 8.30 TMi 10.00 My Almost Famous Family 10.30 Ed And Oucho’s Excellent Inventions 11.00 The Story Of Tracy Beaker 11.30 Animals At Work 12.00pm The Cut 12.25 The Season 12.55 The 5.19 Show 1.10 Chartjackers 1.15 Kyle XY 2.00 Revealed 2.15 The Unsellables 2.45 FILM: Without A Clue (1988) 4.30 The Lost Prince 6.00 Autumnwatch UK wildlife series. Chris Packham and Kate Humble are in Pembrokeshire, south Wales, to find out how our marine wildlife is faring this autumn. That’ll be nippy. 7.00 Porridge The pilot episode of the classic comedy series about the inmates of HM Slade Prison. In the beginning... there was Fletch. 7.30 Berlin Presenter Matt Frei begins by looking at 18th Century King, Frederick the Great, a contradictory character whose legacy defined Berlin as a place of both aggressive militarism and enlightened idealism. 8.30 What Is Beauty? Artist and writer Matthew Collings takes the viewer on a tour of ten of his favourite beauty experiences from the entire history of art. That’s loads! 9.30 Have I Got A Bit More News For You The extended version of the popular news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop. 10.10 The Thick Of It See highlights. 10.40 Defying Gravity Sci-fi drama. Drawing closer to the orbit of Venus, some members of the Antares crew struggle with guilt and experience vivid repercussions of past actions. Probably freak them out a bit. 11.25 The Culture Show Repeat of Thursday’s show. 12.25am FILM: Felicia’s Journey (1999) 2.15 FILM: Tapeheads (1988)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Horrid Henry 9.40 Supernormal 9.55 Art Attack 10.20 Tricky Quickies 10.25 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 10.55 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 11.25 FILM: Big Fat Liar (2002) 1.05pm ITV News & Weather 1.10 FILM: Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) 2.45 JLS Revealed 3.45 Meridian News And Weather 4.00 ITV News & Weather 4.15 International Football: Brazil V England
6.10am The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 Gillette World Sport 7.30 Freesports On 4 8.00 The Morning Line 8.55 Rimmel London Presents The World’s Greatest Pop Star: Robbie Williams 10.00 Mariah Carey: T4 Special 10.35 Hollyoaks Music Show 11.10 P. Diddy’s Starmaker 12.10pm Scrubs 12.40 Freesports On 4: Freeze 1.45 Channel 4 Racing 4.00 My First Year 4.30 My First Year 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Come Dine With Me
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Funky Valley 8.05 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 8.40 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 Little Princess 9.30 Ebb And Flo 9.35 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 NFLUK 11.00 The Gadget Show 12.00pm Britain’s Best Brain 1.00 Zoo Days 1.30 FILM: Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland (1972) 3.20 Domino Day 2009 4.50 Five News 5.00 FILM: Contact (1997)
6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 9.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm LIVE Football League 2.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 2.30 LIVE International Football (x3) 10.30 To Be Announced 12.30am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.00 NFL – America’s Game 2.00 LIVE Big Fight Special 5.00 LIVE European Tour Golf
7.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp See highlights. 8.00 The X Factor Only seven acts remain and the competition will be getting fiercer than ever as the performers battle it out to stay in the running. Judges Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole, Dannii Minogue and Louis Walsh will be on the edges of their seats as they support the singers they are mentoring. Does anyone stand a chance against the terrible twins? Certainly not if Simon keeps threatening to leave if they win. 9.30 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories: Vinnie Jones Hollywood star and ex-bad boy footballer Vinnie Jones talks to Piers Morgan. From the highs, including his extraordinary rise to movie fame and hanging out with Brad Pitt, to the lows, including the quiet drink that nearly ended his American dream, this is Jones’ most comprehensive interview to date. Wonder if they’ll include that pic of him grabbing a gentleman’s delicates on the football pitch. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 International Football Highlights Highlights from Qatar as England test their World Cup credentials against Brazil, currently ranked number one in the world. 12.00am Grand Slam Of Darts 12.55 FILM: A Good Man In Africa (1994) 2.35 Crossing Jordan 3.20 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
6.00 Come Dine With Me Dinner party reality programme. The competition in Kent continues as Allen Brockington, an international businessman, husband, and father, steps into the kitchen to prepare dinner. 6.30 Come Dine With Me Market researcher Zoe Mortlock plans to cook a meal influenced by her travels around the world. Airplane food won’t go down well. 7.00 Come Dine With Me As the competition draws to a close, Steven Parks is confident he can scoop the cash prize with a menu of local foods. 7.30 Channel 4 News 8.00 When Boris Met Dave Drama-documentary focusing on Oxford University in the 1980s, when, Boris Johnson and David Cameron, were both students. Repeat. 9.30 FILM: Four Weddings And A Funeral (1994) Starring Hugh Grant, Andie MacDowell, Kristin Scott Thomas, Simon Callow, John Hannah, Charlotte Coleman. Smash-hit comedy of manners. 11.45 Live From Abbey Road Music from Seal, Imelda May and Sugarland. 12.55am FILM: Say Anything (1989) 2.45 My Other Wheelchair Is A Porsche 3.00 Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip 3.45 Invasion 4.25 3 Minute Wonder 4.30 The Class 4.50 Switched 5.10 St Elsewhere
7.40 NCIS Drama series following a team of special agents who investigate crimes connected to Navy and Marine Corps personnel. An exNavy SEAL convicted of killing his wife escapes from Levenworth to pursue the real killer. 8.35 CSI: NY Crime drama series. Stella and Flack investigate the death of a drag queen. Meanwhile, Danny and Mac look into the case of a highpowered extreme-sports executive found dead in a salt truck. 9.30 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. The CSIs investigate the death of a director at an ‘Astro Quest’ convention. As the investigation progresses, a number of suspects are placed in the frame – but did someone love the show enough to kill for it? 10.30 Law And Order: SVU Drama series. Stabler clashes with his new temporary partner as they investigate an assault on a 16-year-old girl. 11.25 CSI: NY Crime drama series. Mac, Hawkes and Flack delve into a mysterious secret society to find out if its members are responsible for the death of a student found in the centre of a maze. 12.25am SuperCasino 3.55 The Great Artists (x2) 4.50 Rough Guide To Cities 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.05 Merlin Fantasy drama. When a mysterious warrior challenges Arthur to a duel, no one could possibly predict the devastating chain of events that is set in motion. 6.50 Strictly Come Dancing The remaining couples perform either a ballroom or Latin dance. Hoping to not fall backside over frontside. 8.30 The National Lottery Draws Scott Mills is live from Lottery HQ. It would look suss if it was pre-recorded. 8.40 Casualty Medical drama series. The F2s go it alone, with disastrous consequences. Never any good news. What about the miracle cures?! The saved babies?! 9.30 The Impressions Show With Culshaw And Stephenson The prosthetics are piled on as Jon Culshaw and Debra Stephenson continue their satirical romp. 10.00 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow MM’s at Brighton Dome, where he introduces Micky Flanagan, Jo Caulfield and Jon Richardson. Headlining is Al Murray. 10.45 BBC News 11.05 The Football League Show The international break means all eyes are on Leagues One and Two. 12.05am Friday Night With Jonathan Ross 1.05 Weatherview 1.10 Sign Zone: Around The World In 80 Days (x2) 3.10 Lost Land Of The Volcano 4.10 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Pro20 Cricket 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.00 European Tour Golf 12.30pm Sailing 1.00 NFL – America’s Game 2.00 LIVE International Rugby Union 5.00 To Be Announced 6.00 Max Power 7.00 LIVE International Rugby League 10.00 International Rugby Union 12.00am NFL – Total Access 1.00 International Rugby League 3.00 International Rugby Union 5.00 NFL – Total Access
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Football League Weekend 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 Friday Fight Night 10.00 WWE Smackdown 12.00pm WWE The Bottom Line 1.00 LIVE Masters Tennis 5.00 WWE Smackdown 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 International Rugby Union 10.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 11.00 WWE Late Night Smackdown 1.00am WWE Late Night Bottom Line 2.00 Extreme Championship Wrestling 3.00 Max Power 4.00 Sports Unlimited 5.00 Max Power
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2.00pm The Real A & E 3.00 Guinness World Records Smashed! 4.00 Michael Jackson’s Private Home Movies (x2) 5.00 The Simpsons (x2) 6.00 Modern Family (x3) 8.00 Futurama (x2) 9.00 UK Border Force 10.00 Ross Kemp Behind The Story 10.30 Ross Kemp Remembers Pirates 11.30 Modern Family (x4)
7.00pm Rugby Union: England V Argentina 8.00 The Real Hustle: High Stakes 8.30 Don’t Get Screwed (x2) 9.30 The Noughties... Was That It? 12.00am Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 12.45 Family Guy 1.10 American Dad (x2) 1.55 The Noughties... Was That It?
7.00pm Art Deco Icons 7.30 Everest ER 8.30 Everest: Farther Than The Eye Can See 9.30 Mark Lawson Talks To Sir Ranulph Fiennes 10.30 Spiral II 11.20 Spiral II 12.15am FILM: 36 (2004) 2.00 Mark Lawson Talks To Sir Ranulph Fiennes 3.00 Everest ER
2.25pm Holiday Airport: Palma 3.30 All Star Family Fortunes 4.15 Gossip Girl 5.15 FILM: Runaway Bride (1999) 7.30 Grimefighters 8.00 Spain: Paradise Lost 9.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.30 The Xtra Factor 10.30 Fearne And... Alesha Dixon 11.30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 12.00am The Saturdays - Video Exclusive
12.05pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 2.05 FILM: Agatha Christie’s Murder With Mirrors (1985) 4.00 FILM: Agatha Christie’s Sparkling Cyanide (1983) 6.00 Inspector Morse 8.00 Rosemary And Thyme 9.00 Rebus 10.35 Vincent 12.05am Inspector Morse 2.00 The Charmer 2.50 Drama Trails
12.55pm Age Of Love 1.50 Style Her Famous 2.20 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 My Name Is Earl (x2) 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 The 100 Greatest TV Ads 12.40am Supernanny US 1.35 How To Look Good Naked 2.30 Gok’s Fashion Fix 3.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus
12.10pm FILM: My Darling Clementine (1946) 2.00 Grand Designs 3.05 Grand Designs (x4) 7.25 Autism: The Musical 9.30 Extraordinary Animals In The Womb 11.10 Autism: The Musical 1.15am Extraordinary Animals In The Womb 2.50 Time Team
11.00am The Eve Of Saint Mark (1944) 1.00pm Baby’s Day Out (1994) 2.50 The Iron Petticoat (1956) 4.40 My House In Umbria (2003) 6.40 The Day After Tomorrow (2004). See highlights. 9.00 Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003) 11.00 I’m A Cyborg, But That’s OK (2006) 1.05am Ashes Of Time Redux (1994)
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sunday 15 Doctor Who BBC1, 7pm Pzazz! And the Doctor is in a new location, soon to be in peril, and we love it. One of the last from David Tennant, this one-off is a doozey as the water of Mars on Bowie Base One circa 2059 proves less than friendly. Another success in making the everyday terrifying. You’ll be glued to the sofa from start to sticky end.
I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! ITV1, 9pm More bug-crunching and celebbullying is ready to hit our screens again, with the full lineup of D-listers hoping to become C-listers a closely guarded secret until launch night. Ant and Dec will be back, with the motley crew of Joe Swash and Russell Kane manning ITV2 coverage.
Doctor Who Confidential: Is There Life On Mars? BBC3, 8pm Following on from the latest one-off episode from soon to be disappearing Doctor David Tennant is this behind-the-scenes smorgasbord of tips and secrets. Included are explosions, gallons of water, robots and many more obstacles for the Doctor. No-one said it was easy.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 EastEnders 3.00 BBC Switch Live 4.30 Lifeline 4.40 Points Of View 4.55 Songs Of Praise 5.30 BBC News 5.45 South East Today
6.00am Me Too! 6.20 Big Cook Little Cook 6.40 Mama Mirabelle’s Home Movies 7.00 Uncle Max 7.10 OOglies 7.30 Prank Patrol 8.00 Da Dick And Dom Dairies 8.30 M.I. High The Sorcerer’s Apprentice 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 FILM: The Rookie (2001) 1.30pm Rugby Union: England V Argentina 2.30 Rugby Union: Ireland V Australia 5.00 Rugby League: Four Nations - Highlights
6.00am GMTV 9.25 Paz 9.35 Captain Mack 9.50 Supernormal 10.05 Emu 10.20 Planet Sketch 10.30 Coronation Street Omnibus 1.10pm ITV News & Weather 1.15 Britain Does The Funniest Things 2.15 Columbo: Murder, A Self-Portrait 4.15 Foyle’s War
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 AVP Pro Beach Volleyball Tour 7.55 Freesports On 4: Freeze 8.55 Hollyoaks Omnibus 11.25 Robbie Williams: The Making Of ‘You Know Me’ 11.55 Rimmel London Presents The World’s Greatest Pop Star: Girls Aloud 1.00pm Channel 4 Racing 3.30 Ugly Betty 4.25 The Simpsons 4.55 Deal Or No Deal 5.45 FILM: Clueless (1995)
6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Noddy In Toyland 8.10 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.25 Mist: Sheepdog Tales 8.45 Harry And His Bucket Full Of Dinosaurs 9.00 Olivia 9.15 Little Princess 9.30 Gerald McBoing Boing 10.00 Snobs 10.30 Wizards Of Waverly Place 11.00 Hannah Montana 11.35 The Tribe 12.05pm Zoo Days 12.30 FILM: Wyoming Renegades (1955) 2.00 FILM: Lost In Space (1998) 4.20 FILM: Spider-Man 2 (2004)
6.00am LIVE European Tour Golf 9.00 Sunday Supplement 10.30 Goals On Sunday 12.00pm LIVE Pro20 Cricket 4.15 LIVE Football League 7.00 Pro20 Cricket 10.00 Football League 11.30 Pro20 Cricket 2.30am Football League 3.55 LIVE Test Cricket
6.00 Wild Nature documentary. 6.10 Meerkat Manor Documentary. As the Whiskers move their burrow, the Commandos go to war over rations and power. 6.35 Meerkat Manor Wilson and Phillippe leave in order to look for female meerkats. You go, guys! 7.00 James May’s Toy Stories Repeat of Tuesday’s show. 8.00 Ray Mears Northern Wilderness In this episode, Ray follows in the footsteps of unsung British hero John Rae, who was the first great Arctic explorer and came to be regarded as the foremost authority on First Nation methods of Arctic survival and travel. 9.00 Top Gear In the first of a brand new series, Jeremy, Richard and James take an Aston DBS Volante, a Ferrari California and a Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder to Romania in search of an obscure stretch of tarmac that some hardcore drivers claim is the greatest road in the world. 10.00 Miranda Sitcom. 6ft 1in Miranda goes on a first date. 10.30 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Repaet of Wednesday’s show. 11.00 FILM: Hard Candy (2006) Starring Patrick Wilson, Ellen Page, Sandra Oh. Psychological thriller about a photographer who invites a 14 year old to his house. 12.40am FILM: Brute Force (1947) 2.15 BBC News
6.15 Meridian News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather 6.45 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Repeat of yesterday’s show. 7.15 All Star Family Fortunes Today investigative journalist Donal MacIntyre and family battle it out with EastEnders’ Charlie Brooks and clan. The MacIntyres are playing for Bornfree, while the Brooks family are supporting Sparks and the Variety Club of Great Britain. Demonstrably dim for charidee, mate. 8.00 The X Factor It is time for the seven remaining acts to find out the result of the public vote. Watch those bottom lips quiver. 9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! See highlights. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 Elbow: The South Bank Show A look at the 18 year career of a band who, until their latest album The Seldom Seen Kid, were considered a well-kept secret. Now with a host of prizes and awards, Elbow are the music story of 2009. Melvyn Bragg interviews. 11.45 FILM: LA Story (1991) Starring Steve Martin, Victoria Tennant, Richard E Grant. A comic hymn to Los Angeles. 1.20am UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.45 Grand Slam Of Darts 2.40 Kojak 3.30 Drivers In The Dock: Tonight 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News
7.30 Channel 4 News 8.00 Come Dine With Me Reality series in which people compete to be the best dinner-party host. Four very different chefs from Milton Keynes including a man obsessed with the 1970s, and a ‘clown’ – take part in this edition’s culinary contest. Sounds rather like a premise for a Hammer Horror film. Hmm. 9.00 FILM: Flags Of Our Fathers (2006) Starring Ryan Phillippe, Jesse Bradford, Adam Beach, John Hickey and John Slattery. War drama telling the true stories of six US servicemen whose act of raising a secondary flag after the bloody Battle of Iwo Jima was immortalised by an Associated Press photographer. The picture would become an iconic image of American patriotism, but the three survivors who make it back home are uncomfortable with the disparity between what they experienced on the Japanese island and the story being peddled to the press. 11.35 FILM: Letters From Iwo Jima (2006) Starring Ken Watanabe, Kazunari Ninomiya, Tsuyoshi Ihara. Oscar-winning World War II drama retelling the story of the battle of Iwo Jima from the perspective of the Japanese officers. 2.15am My Name Is Earl (x2) 3.10 Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip 3.55 King Of The Hill 4.20 The Class 4.45 Switched 5.10 St Elsewhere
6.50 FILM: The Towering Inferno (1974) Starring Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, William Holden, Faye Dunaway, Fred Astaire and Richard Chamberlain. Classic 1970s disaster movie about a fire that breaks out in a state-of-the-art San Francisco highrise building during the opening ceremony attended by a host of A-list guests. A bit like a vertical Titanic in this supposedly ultra-safe building. Great fare for a rainy evening under a blanket with a mug of hot chocolate. 9.55 Five News 10.00 FILM: Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000) Starring Ashton Kutcher, Seann William Scott, Kristy Swanson, Jennifer Garner, Marla Sokoloff and David Herman. Surreal teen comedy about two dim-witted party animals who wake up one morning unable to remember where they left their car the previous night. It is vital that the boys locate the vehicle as it contains gifts for their girlfriends. However, while following clues to its whereabouts, the lads start to believe they must have had a wilder night than first thought. Very confusing if you fell asleep with aforementioned hot chocolate and merged the films. 11.45 FlashForward Sci-fi drama. Repeat of Monday’s episode. 12.40am Urban Legends 4.40 NFL Classics 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car
6.00 Countryfile Rural issues. Matt Baker and Julia Bradbury head for the Vale of the White Horse in Oxfordshire to help restore the iconic chalk carvings which gave the area its name. No alterations allowed. 7.00 Doctor Who See highlights. 8.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team are in County Durham for a visit to The Bowes Museum. 9.00 Garrow’s Law: Tales From The Old Bailey Period drama. Garrow defends the detestable Edgar Cole on a charge of raping a servant girl, much to the disappointment of Lady Sarah. She confronts Garrow and Silvester senses the intimacy between them. His insinuation offends Garrow and he challenges Silvester to a duel. On guard! 10.00 BBC News 10.20 South East Today 10.25 FILM: Little Voice (1998) Starring Brenda Blethyn, Jane Horrocks, Michael Caine, Jim Broadbent, Ewan McGregor. Acclaimed British drama about a shy girl with a big voice discovered by her mother’s corrupt boyfriend. 11.55 FILM: The Autobiography Of Miss Jane Pittman (1974) 1.40am Weatherview 1.45 Sign Zone: Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers 2.15 Miranda 2.45 Holby City 3.45 Blitz: The Bombing Of Coventry 4.45 BBC News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 7.00 International Rugby Union 9.00 European Tour Golf 12.30pm UEFA Champions League Weekly 1.00 Seamaster Sailing 1.30 LIVE Rugby Union 4.00 Watersports World 5.00 Seamaster Sailing 5.30 LIVE NFL (x2) 12.30am Anglo-Welsh Rugby Union 2.00 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Watersports World 7.00 International Rugby League 9.00 WWE Afterburn 10.00 WWE Vintage Collection 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Wild Spirits 12.00pm Big Fight Special 2.00 LIVE Masters Tennis 4.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 5.00 Wild Spirits 5.30 Big Fight Special 7.30 Golf Night 10.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 11.00 WWE Vintage Collection 12.00am Masters Tennis 1.00 Watersports World 2.00 Close
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2.00pm Michael Jackson’s Private Home Movies (x2) 3.00 Angela And Friends: Our Best Bits 4.00 UK Border Force 5.00 Futurama 5.30 The Simpsons 6.00 Wayne Rooney’s Street Striker 2 7.00 The Simpsons 7.30 Modern Family (x2) 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 House 10.00 Fringe 11.00 Bones 12.00am Road Wars
7.00pm The World’s Strictest Parents 8.00 Doctor Who Confidential: Is There Life On Mars? See highlights. 9.00 Two Pints Of Lager (x2) 10.00 Family Guy 10.20 American Dad (x2) 11.05 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.35 The World’s Strictest Parents 12.30am Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps
7.00pm A History Of Christianity 8.00 Lightning: Nature Strikes Back 9.00 Mars: A Horizon Guide 10.00 To Mars By A-Bomb 11.00 The Sky At Night Special 11.30 It’s Only A Theory 12.00am Mars: A Horizon Guide 1.00 To Mars By A-Bomb 2.00 The Sky At Night Special
5.05pm I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! Coming Out 6.10 FILM: Ice Age 2: Meltdown (2006) 8.00 Coleen’s Real Women 9.00The Xtra Factor 10.00 Planet’s Funniest Animals 10.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.35 Peter Andre: Next Chapter 12.35am The Saturdays - Video Exclusive
12.25pm FILM: Agatha Christie’s Thirteen At Dinner (1985) 2.10 FILM: Agatha Christie’s The Man In The Brown Suit (1988) 4.15 Pollyanna 6.15 The Forsyte Saga 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Mansfield Park 11.05 Cracker 12.15am Life 1.10 Jeeves And Wooster 2.05 On The Buses (x2)
12.10pm Dark Angel (x2) 2.00 Reaper 3.00 One Tree Hill 3.55 Beauty And The Geek 4.55 Friends (x2) 6.00 Ugly Betty 7.00 Privileged 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 Derren Brown: The Events 10.00 FILM: Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery (1997) 12.00am Demetri Martin: Person 12.50 Supernanny US (x2)
12.45pm Scrapheap Challenge 1.50 How Clean Is Your House? (x5) 4.35 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.30 Jamie At Home 8.00 River Cottage 9.00 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word 10.05 Emergency In The Womb 11.10 Father Ted 11.45 Hung 12.20am Curb Your Enthusiasm 1.00 Deal Or No Deal
11.00am The Fighting Seabees (1944) 1.00pm Catch That Kid (2004) 2.45 Fathom (1967) 4.40 Watership Down (1978) 6.25 The Core (2003) 9.00 Sahara (2005) 11.20 Zatoichi (2003) 1.35am Wild Strawberries (1957)
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monday 16 FlashForward Five, 9pm If you know something’s gonna happen – can you stop it? In the same way that washing up can be prevented one night a week by a takeaway, can Mark and Olivia keep their relationship on track? All the secrets are out, they’ve legged it for a romantic getaway... and then Mark goes after a tattooed assassin. Priorities!
Derren Brown Presents: The 3D Magic Spectacular Channel 4, 10pm In which a profession that spends its time protesting trickery is not an issue suddenly decides to employ one of the oldest whizzbang illusions around – one that’s so proud of its trickery it even tells you how it does it. Hmm, (chin stroke). Brown hosts, showing leading magicians in 3D.
Enid BBC4, 9pm Starring Helena Bonham-Carter as the controversial children’s writer Enid Blyton, this biography follows her through from unpublished wannabe to household name and moral guardian. Offering glimpses of her own far from idyllic childhood, her marriages and children, it’s a remarkable tale.
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6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Real Rescues 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 To Buy Or Not To Buy 11.30 Car Booty 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Murder, She Wrote 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Show Me Show Me 3.30 Eliot Kid 3.45 The Secret Show 4.00 School Of Silence 4.30 M.I. High 4.55 Whose Side Are You On? – A Newsround Special 5.15 The Weakest Link
6.00 – 9.00am Children’s television 9.00 Timmy Time 9.10 Chuggington 9.25 Numberjacks 9.40 Tweenies 10.00 Ethelbert The Tiger 10.05 Charlie And Lola 10.20 Yoko! Jakamoko! Toto! 10.30 In The Night Garden 11.00 Non-Fiction Writing: Persuasion, Recount, Report, Biography 11.30 Primary History 11.40 Class Clips 12.00pm Animal Park 12.30 Working Lunch 1.00 All Saints 1.45 Open House 2.15 Crisis Claims And Cons 3.00 Diagnosis Murder 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Are You An Egghead? 5.15 Escape To The Country 6.00 Eggheads Quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Judge Craig Revel Horwood analyses the weekend’s events, while Claudia chats to the latest knocked out couple. 7.00 Coal House At War Three Welsh families give up their 21st century creature comforts and travel back in time to 1944 to face the hardships of life during WWII. 7.30 An Island Parish Series charting a year in the life of the remote Isles of Scilly. 8.00 University Challenge Students representing St John’s College, Oxford do battle with the University of Loughborough tykes. 8.30 Miranda Miranda is rather British when it comes to sex, or shenanigans as she calls it,so setting a romantic mood is hard going. 9.00 The Art On Your Wall With Sue Perkins Sue Perkins charts the changes in British taste towards domestic art. 10.00 Have I Got News For You The popular news quiz with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop. 10.30 Newsnight 11.20 Stephen Poliakoff: A Culture Show Special In a wide-ranging and frank interview, Stephen Poliakoff talks to Mark Kermode. 11.50 Defying Gravity Sci-fi drama. 12.35am Defying Gravity 1.15 BBC News 4.00 Democracy In Action (x4)
6.00am GMTV 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 3.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 Golden Balls
6.00am The Treacle People 6.10 The Hoobs 6.40 Planet Cook 7.00 Freshly Squeezed 7.30 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.00 Frasier 8.30 Frasier 9.00 Will And Grace 9.30 Friends 10.00 Friends 10.30 The Big Bang Theory 11.00 Ugly Betty 12.00pm News At Noon 12.30 Kitchen Pharmacy 12.45 Without A Trace 1.40 FILM: Lisbon (1956) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal 5.00 The Paul O’Grady Show
6.00 – 8.00am Chidlren’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Thomas & Friends 8.40 The WotWots 8.50 Hana’s Helpline 9.05 Family! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 Getting On The Property Ladder 12.40pm Five News 12.50 Floyd’s India 1.15 Cooking The Books 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Property List: Top Spots 3.05 FILM: Undue Influence (1996) 5.00 Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky 5.30 Neighbours
6.00am LIVE Test Cricket 11.30 Pro20 Cricket 2.30pm UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.00 Masters Tennis 4.00 Test Cricket 6.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 7.00 Netbusters 7.30 LIVE Irish Football 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 Netbusters 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30am Irish Football 2.00 Time Of Our Lives 3.00 Max Power 3.55 Live Test Cricket
6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Amy returns to Hollyoaks and finds it difficult to settle back in. Not enough make up? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 Rory Peck Awards 2009 Awards celebrating the work of freelance newsgatherers from around the world. 8.00 Dispatches: Inside Britain’s Israel Lobby Documentary investigating one of the most powerful political lobbies in Britain, a group which is working in support of the interests of the State of Israel. 9.00 The Queen In 3D Documentary including newly discovered 3D footage taken of the Queen during her coronation year by two innovative young cameramen, Bob Angell and Arthur Wooster, who are now in their 80s. That’s one cool OAP sofa chat. 10.00 Derren Brown Presents: The 3D Magic Spectacular See highlights. 11.10 Gordon Ramsay’s F Word Chef Gordon Ramsay presents the fast-paced food magazine show celebrating the very best of Britain’s independent local restaurants. 12.10am Robbie Williams: The Making Of ‘You Know Me’ 12.30 Robbie: Live At Knebworth 2.00 Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip 2.50 Invasion 3.30 King Of The Hill (x2) 4.20 The Class 4.45 Switched 5.10 St Elsewhere
6.00 Home And Away Angelo reveals the real reason behind his return to Summer Bay. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show hosted by Ian Wright, Melinda Messenger and Kate Walsh. 7.30 Domino Day 2009 Highlights of Domino Day 2009 from the WTC Expo Center in Leeuwarden, the Netherlands. 8.00 The Gadget Show Consumer technology show. The presenters take on the professionals in a series of gadget-based contests. With a range of hi-tech equipment on their side, Suzi, Jason, Ortis and Jon challenge a champion climber, a racing driver, a pro cyclist and a photographer respectively. That takes soft, sensitive bits. 9.00 FlashForward See highlights. 10.00 FILM: Urban Legend (1998) Starring Jared Leto, Joshua Jackson, Robert Englund, Alicia Witt, Rebecca Gayheart and Loretta Devine. Pastiche horror about a group of college kids who are tormented by a demented killer. Legend has it that, 25 years earlier, a university professor murdered six of his students – although few clues as to the massacre remain. 12.05am Disorderly Conduct 1.00 SuperCasino 3.00 NASCAR 3.55 Race And Rally UK 4.45 Motorsport Mundial 5.10 Neighbours 5.35 Home And Away
6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out As the BNP claim they are doing better than ever before in the South East, they prospective parliamentary candidate Nick Prince on a campaign trail in Hastings. 8.00 EastEnders Archie’s wicked magic does not work on Sam, so he has to resort to drastic action. 8.30 Panorama Loan sharks are thriving in recession-hit Britain. Reporter Simon Boazman finds the victims who have suffered brutal violence, and looks at the lenders who can charge 17,000 per cent interest. 9.00 Life The nature documentary looks at insects, the most successful animal group ever. See Telly Talk. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Among the guests joining Graham on his sofa are the legend that is Rod Stewart, Monty Python star Michael Palin, and comedy star Dawn French. 11.20 The Apprentice USA Reality show with Donald Trump. 12.05am The Apprentice USA 12.50 Weatherview 12.55 Sign Zone: An Island Parish 1.25 Defying Gravity 2.10 Beautiful People 2.40 Horizon: Do I Drink Too Much? 3.40 BBC News
6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Unable to shake his distrust of Charity, Cain lashes out. Normally he’s such a measured chap. 7.30 Coronation Street Tony is arrested for murder and vows revenge on the Croppers. If it weren’t for those pesky kids! 8.00 999 Out Of Time: Tonight As many NHS Ambulance Trusts fail to meet their targets for responding to 999 calls, the programme investigates the consequences of employing ambulance crews with lower levels of training. 8.30 Coronation Street A vengeful Tony tries to drown Roy in the canal. Has Maria finally realised that her fiancé is a murderer? Hope so. 9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! How are the hapless celebrities faring as they settle into camp life in the depths of the jungle? 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Eight Legged Freaks (2002) Starring David Arquette, Kari Wuhrer, Scott Terra, Scarlett Johansson and Doug E Doug. Sci-fi action comedy in a 1950s B-movie vein. A chemical spill creates massive man-eating spiders. No glass and bit of card will stop these beauties. 12.25am Grand Slam Of Darts 1.15 Nightwatch With Steve Scott 2.10 Loose Women 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30News
Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Seamaster Sailing 9.30 Golf Night 12.00pm Big Fight Special 2.00 Anglo-Welsh Rugby Union 3.30 Golf Night 6.00 Wild Spirits 6.30 NFL 8.00 Test Cricket 10.00 Poker: Bounty Stars Of Poker 12.00am Golf Special 1.00 Spruce Meadows 3.00 Poker: Bounty Stars Of Poker 5.00 Netbusters 5.30 Close
Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Powder Adventures 7.00 WWE The Bottom Line 8.00 Masters Tennis 9.00 NASCAR 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm NFL 1.30 NASCAR 3.30 NFL 5.00 WWE Raw UK 7.00 Formula Kart Stars 7.30 Extra Time 8.00 Big Fight Special 10.00 WWE Late Night Bottom Line 11.00 WWE Late Night Afterburn 12.00am Extreme Championship Wrestling 1.00 WWE Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE Late Night Raw 4.15 Close
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1.00pm Project Runway 2.00 Angela And Friends 3.30 Sell Me The Answer 4.30 The Lion Man 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 New Oops TV 7.00 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Futurama 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 UK Border Force 10.00 Road Wars 11.00 Stargate Universe 12.00am Road Wars
7.00pm Merlin 7.45 Merlin: Secrets And Magic 8.00 Walk On The Wild Side 8.30 Don’t Get Screwed 9.00 Britain’s Really Disgusting Food: Fish 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Young Butcher Of The Year 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am The Mighty Boosh 12.45 Don’t Get Screwed 1.15 Britain’s Really Disgusting Food: Fish
7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Tales From The Green Valley 8.00 The Thirties In Colour 9.00 Enid. See highlights. 10.25 Bookmark 11.05 The Art Of Eternity 12.05am The Art Of Eternity 1.00 The Art Of Eternity 2.00 Enid 5.30 Close
5.15pm Sally Jessy Raphael 6.00 Judge Judy (x2) 7.00 All Star Mr & Mrs 8.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.30 Planet’s Funniest Animals 9.00 Animals Do The Funniest Things 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.00 FILM: The Sixth Sense (1999) 1.10am Coronation Street (x2) 2.10 Emmerdale
1.05pm Heartbeat 2.10 The Darling Buds Of May 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.05 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 Goodnight Sweetheart 5.50 Heartbeat 6.50 The Darling Buds Of May 7.55 Jeeves And Wooster 9.00 David Jason Frost And Me 9.05 A Touch Of Frost 11.10 Inspector Morse 1.05am Cane
1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Veronica Mars 5.00 Friends (x2) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 How I Met Your Mother 8.00 Friends (x2) 9.00 One Tree Hill 10.00 Being Erica 11.00 Skins 12.05am How I Met Your Mother 12.35 Scrubs (x2) 1.30 Being Erica 2.15 Skins
3.00pm A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 4.00 How Clean Is Your House? (x2) 5.05 Relocation, Relocation 6.05 Deal Or No Deal 7.00 Grand Designs 8.00 News 8.30 The Daily Show With Jon Stewart: Global Edition 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 Without A Trace 11.00 The Closer 12.00am Saving Grace
11.00am The House On Telegraph Hill (1951) 12.50pm Let’s Make Love (1960) 3.10 Fanny By Gaslight (1944) 5.15 Kidnapped (1971) 7.20 Doctor Dolittle (1998) 9.00 Wedding Crashers (2005) 11.15 Memories Of Matsuko (2006) 1.50am Winter Light (1962) 3.35 Close